Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-01-12
Aanrastrr fn:elltQenrer.
THURSDAY EVENING, JAN. u, 1882
They Let Him Stay.

Bill Eye in the Detroit Free Press.
In the early history of Cummins city,
when Calamity and Lengthy Johnston
and Tapeworm Charlie were the bOn-tOn
Of the new gold camp, there was a man
whom We will call DIR. Farrar, who went
there partially to assay for the camp and
partially to wear out his young life. DR..
Farrar had pretty uphill job Of it from
the start, for the mines hadn't doomed
vcry fast at first, and good many of the
boys sent their samples Of ore to Salt Lake
or Denver for assay, and the rest of them
used to salt his fux aud get big showing
and then stand him up for his pay. One
honest miner gilded tho pestie one night
in the assay Office, aud sold his gropher
hole on Virginia Hill the next day on an
assay of s1,52S to the ton.
After while DIR. Farrar found that he
had to lock up his mortar and tlux in his
trunk and sleep with his crucibles, or his
reputation as an assayist would become
by.word and stencil in the nostrils of the
pilgrim with the plug hat. and the tender
foot would say " fie upon him." and spit
upon him and smite him on the bugle.
On the top of all this an injurious report
got out over the camp rejecting upon the
morality of DR.. Farrar. Society was in a
crude state aud most every StOve-pipe in
town had been bored SO full OF bullet holes
that it wouldn't draw, and there was Il
general feeling Of insecurity.
Most every one said that unless steps
were taken to quiet things a little before
long, there would be music by the entire
band.
1t was generally decided that the vigi-
lantcrs would have to begin Oh DIR. Farrar.
The town was getting bad reputation
outside, and something must he done.
Tho committee, however, was not In
working order, as part Of the number
had gone over toward Last Chance On a
placer stampede, aud half dozen more
were in Laramie on district court bust
ness. However, it was decided that two
members of the committee, whom we will
call Trustworthy Kersikes and The
Annihilator were delegated to arm
themselves and drive DIR. Farrar out OF
town or inform him that they would shoot
him Oh sight.
Great care was used to prevent DIR. Far
rar from getting any premature notice OF
this arrangement, because those who knew
his very shrinking and gentle disposition
were sure that il he we're to drop on the
programme he would skip the camp, and
the amusement would have to be post
pOned.
1t WAS therefore decided that Trust
worty Kersikes and "Thc Annihilator'
should go down to the assay Office armed
and prepared to either scare the assayer to
death or Spatter his Guivcring flesh al
over Pole Cat avenue.
About opposite the palatial dugout &C.
cupicd by Calamity, the avengers met Dr.
Farrar.
lie had just been down TO Sam Wood's
aud hoisted in about six fingers Of what
was known at that time rs Vinegar Hill
Sheep Dip. 1t was way-billed over the
Union Pacific rs 6 liquid crime
The avengers stood back a moment t.
give the fugitive Il chance to escape if he
wanted to, but he !idu't avail himself OF
it.
He seemed to court death.
He simply walked up to Trustworthy
Kcrsikcs and twisted the double barreled
shotgun out of his hands like flash. Thei
he pulled it Oh the Annihlator and told
him to throw up his hands. Calmly as
though he were making an assay on Gill
Edge blossom rock. Dr.. Earrar went
through the pockets of the avengers. Tht
six-shootcrs he stnwed away in tho bus
of his pantaloons, and the duublc-barrclct
Sn0tgun uc DIGkc over - plHC ios, tiu'
threw it up on the woodshed.
Then mo told the avengers that lie would
spare their Improbable lives this trip, bu,
if they ever tried to kill him again there
would be good dea! Of hilarity Oh the
Main street. He said he was not Of a re
vengeful disposition, but that if this thing
was repeated every evening, with a mat
ince for ladies' and children every Satur
day afternoon, he would get 4 repeating
hoe handle and clean out the entire vigi
lance committee.
Doctor Farrar said he had never beer
looked upon as quarrelsome or deadly mai
at all :: he was just plain, everyday styl'
of citizen without any consuming ambition
to fill the world with funerals and hang ;
sable pail of mourning over the land, bu
if the vigilance committee wanted to max.
an example of him and would give him no
tice enough SO that he could arm himsel
with an old salt bag full Of convalescen
eggs and an old pick handle, he would b'
willing to abide by the result.
The committee turned in silent scorl
ard left him, and the disagreeable suhjec
was never bl cached again afterward.