The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-05-02
THECALIFORNIAMAN.

How He Relieved the Monotony OF
q Journey Across the Plains.
Ny fellow passengers in the trip
East across the plains over the AtchisoD
Topeka, and Santa Fe road were not
very lively or sociable until We pulled
out from Pueblo. and then they bright.
ened up and began to lie to each other.
We ran over . dog, which had the eff:
feet of making US I'll lifelong friends
for the time being. There are only
two ways of making the monotonous
ride Of 500 miles across the plains en-
durable. and they are. either to be.
come iasensible before you start and
remain 80. or else to have . lively party
accompany you. Some of us tried to
become insensibIe. and our efforts had
the effect of making US a very lively
party before We reached Kansas CITY.
One of our party discovered feath-
er on the pOrter's coat while that in
dividual was making up berth. He
came back in the smoking-room and
reported The find. We appointed a
committee Of three to question the re-
porter as to where the feather came
from. The committee reported that
the colored individual had said the
feather evidently came from one of the
pillows. The committee also secured
The feather. The fat man who occupied
two seats and travelled on dead-head
ticket gave it as his opinion that the
company had placed the feather on the
porter's coat for the purpose of making
the passengers believe there were more
leather somewhere in the car-possibly
in the pillows or mattresses. The lean
man who sat on one button of the
porter's seat in tho wash-room said il
was shame to raise the hopes of the
passengers in that way. Lots were
drawn for the possession of the feather,
and the California man won the prize,
and slept in downy beds of ease that
night. "Talkin' about feathers" said
the California man, "California uses
q great many, a very great many"
"Ah, in what way ?" asked the man
IN the checked suit.
why. you see," replied the Cali
sornia man, "the fruit grown in nv
state is 10 good if it is allowed to fall
10 the ground. The fall bruises it and
makes it unmarketable. The conse-
quence is that the fruit-growers have
to have feather-beds under all the trees
for the fruit to drop upon. lam going
East now to patent an electrical ma
chine for preventing the fruit from
falling when it becomes ripe. l will
run . wire to the trunk of each tree.
and the blamed fruit will have to hang
Oh as long as the circuit is connected. |
When the fruit is almost ripe l will !
nave men with baskets lined with silk
plush stand under the trees. | will
then turn of the current and the fruit
is bound to Drop"
"A very nice arrangement We all
replied in chorus. for We wanted to
encourage the California man.
"Yes, but then California is no place
fox a poor man." he continued, land
it doesn't pay to raise fruit. Fruit
there is worse than the Mississippi
foods /; it will get the best of you. /
remember q poor, economical pawn
broker, named Abe Solomon, who
thought he would manufacture a sign |
If the three golden bale to hang out |
IN front of bis store. He took three |
of the smallest California grapes he
could find. covered them with gold
leaf and hung them up over his store |
door. He went home that night |
chuckling over the idea that he had
got his sign so cheap. But. poor fell |
low ! That sign proved his ruin"
"How so ?" we asked.
well, Abe came down the next
morning and found the street in front j
of his store blockaded and policemen
guarding his premises. You see, the
grapes had grown during the night
and their weight had pulled the front
Of his store out and completely demol- |
;shed the building"
els that possible ? asked the thin
man. |
"Never spoke q truer word in my
life, replied the California man and |
We believed him.
"Idon't understand" said the drum
mer, looking out of the window. "why
he farmers allow your cattle to nibble
at the tops Of this winter wheat"
why" said the California man.
it's to make the roots strong. But
they couldn't d" that I'm California. L