Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-07-13
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SELF CONTROL IN SOCIETY.

Good breeding gives US certain definite rules,
and while these are observed, society is posi-
BILE, else it dsintegrates. But we may, with
out losing self respect, exercised vast self-con-
troll and not show that we distrust people, nor
that we vastly dislike them we need not
wear our hearts on our sleeves for DAVIS to
peck at. Members of the same family should
never quarrel in public. This is often done
! by two sisters of uncertain tempers, and the
crowd laughs. The French have a proverb
about this, perhaps too we'll known to be quo
| ted Never show that you feel slight. This
is worldly wise as well as Christian, for no one
but mean person will put slight upon an
other, and such person always profoundly
respects the one who is unconscious of his fee
ble spite. Never resent publicly lack of
courtesy, it is in the worst taste. What you
do privately about dropping such an acquain-
| tance must be left to yourself. 70 person
of noble mind the contests of society
must ever seem poor and furious as they think
of these narrow enmities and low political
manpuvres, but we know that they exist and
that we must meet them. Temper, detraction
and small spite are as vulgar on Turkey car
pet and in palace as they are in tenement
house nay, worse for the educated contest
ants know BETTER We must reflect philosoph-
ically that it takes all sorts of people to make
a world and there are good people rank and
file; there are also small pirates who will
board the best ships, and traitors in every ar
my, and we must be ready for them all. New
er show a factious or peremptOry irritabllty
IN small things. Be patient if friend keeps
you waiting. Bear, as long as you can, heat
or drought, rather than make others uncom-
Portable. Do not be fussy about your supposed
rights ;yield disputed point of precedence.
All society has to be made up of these conces-
hos, frin in
the long run. We are not always wrong when
we quarrel but if we meet our deadliest foe
at friends house we are bound to treat him
with perfect civility This is neutral ground.
Never, by word or look. disturb your hostess
this is all occasional duplicity which is order
ed by the laws of society. And in all honesty.
cultivate graceful salutation, not too famil-
iar in Il crowd be grave and decOrOus always.
Burke said that manners were more important
than laws. "Manners are what vex OF soothe,
comfort or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize
or refine us by a constant, steady, uniform, in
sensible operation, like the air we BREATHE"
A salutation may havea great deal of mean
ing in it. 1t may say II respect you, and
wish you well.'' 1t may say II love YOU" 1t
may say ''I hate you.'' In crowd it should
should he maidenly, quiet, not too demOnstra
tive, yet not too cold or forbidding. The salu-
tati3n of a man to woman cannot be too re-
spectful. 1t is to be feared that ''old fashion
ed courtesy has no place in fashionable socie-
ty. There is either coldness or too great IA
miliarity. The manners of young men are apt
to be too careless. They emulate the manners
of men of the age too much, not remembering
they should carry in their gentle ways the good
manners of all ages. a lady should remember
that when woman's salutation ceases to he
delicate, elegant and finished she steps down
from her throne and throws away her scepter.
There is no sautation, however, more dis
pleasing than that of too efflOrescent and fiat
tering subserviency. He bows too low"
should never be said. Avoid being snob, in
private as in crowd.