davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hawaiian gazette., 1882-01-04
jim Wn7zD CAsz.

Z E Par5Hr =. N Rase Appeal BY DE-
fsu,i1ns frca District Justice E1oiaGpoiSc- CAS-
IL ard E1tra fur Pi1i-tE
The Hawaiian gazette., 1882-01-04
A Fiae Line Of Hsaraiay Goods


~ r aalrs7- b. ssc- sz-rrsarl ~ lrz-rs o. he
za-zs -lslir1ls ia1r. ,Irl ~ &c y 1r-s-ciasr
A--ces her lle- ma .lars 1f slrpa,it r pas
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14

| law that if death should ensue 1t would bt
ustiaable homicide In him, but murder In
those who opposed him. Such an opinion
coming from so inspired source was
enough to cause the most resolute garrison
to tremble, and the result was that Coke
recovered his daughter without much
difficulty.
Some judges cannot cooperate with ju.
ries. Mr. Baron Anderson was exceeding
ly impatient with q stupid jury, and often
made his thoughts plainly known to them.
jury in criminal case having returned
verdict which dlspeased him he turned to
the Sheriff saying, "Good heavens, sir,
cafft have another jury, and let these
twelve persons 20 into the other court,
where they can't do so much mischief"
To the disobedient jury he said, Gentle
men, you will find IN the other court, per-
haps, In the course of the day, something
which you can try" Then, In an absent,
musing manner, he soliloquised, "No
doubt there are some men who never can
comprehend what evidence Is; but that
twelve such men should come together to-
day and let that man or! Prisoner"
to the happy man who had been acquitted,
"the jury have acquitted you. Heaven
knows why! No one else In the Court
could have the slightest doubt Of your
guilt, which is OF the grossest kind; but
you are acquitted, and can't help 1t.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
SPRING MEDICINE.

Why does everybody take spring med.
icine? For three good reasons, viz. ; L
Because one bottle OF blood-puriner taken
st this season will do more good than two
at any other. II-Because the blood Is In
. more impure condition than at any other
season. III-Because the system Is 30
weakened by this impure state OF the blood
that II has not sufficient vitality TO with
stand the debilitating effects OF spring
weather. Hence, by common consent,
people seek relief in medicine. The COM
blnation OF Hoods Sarsaparilla, commends
1t TO our judgment Is good spring medl-
cine and blood purifier. Such things 20
Ssrsaparilla, Yellow Dock, Mandrake, etc,
compounded by competent druggists like
Messrs. Hood Co., warrant US suggesting
that al In need Of q medicine OF this kind
give Hoods Sarssparilla trial.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
WESTERN COURT ANECDOTES.

One Of the dryest jokers Of the day 10
Judge Allen A. Bradford, Of the Pacific
bar. He Is little eccentric, but withal
one Of the best lawyers In the far west.
He was trying q case q few years since be-
fore Judge to whom he took 4 dislike.
The Judge was undecided in his rulings;
would change his conclusions every time
the opposite lawyer would argue point.
When Bradford came to talk to the jury
he took occasion to express his contempt.
Said he: "Gentlemen Of the jury the inde-
cisiou Of this court reminds me Of the IA
bled ass that died between two bundles OF
straw for want Of decision" The court
could stand this no longer. Calling the
attorney to order, he fined him $500 for
contempt. With the coolness he Is capa-
BILE OF, Bradford felt In his pocket for .
moment, then producing $3.50, said In his
peculiar intonations Of voice. "Your
Honor, have but half the amount. will
pay for the straw, but let the ass stand"
One day . notorious horse thief was
captured and brought into court to be
committed. While the examination was
In progress the prosecuting attorney and
the sheriff stepped to the door to counsel.
The thief seized the opportunity and
clasped in the Squire's hand 4 $40 gold
piece with the remark, "Hold the case un-
til dark; then dismiss for error In the
complaint. 1t sets forth that horse has
been stolen, while the evidence shows 1t
was . mare" The evidence went trip.
ping along until the sun had dropped be-
hind the hills and darkness shadowed the
land. Then the court raised the horse
and.mare question, and dismissed the
prisoner. Before new complaint could
be made he was far away under cover Of
darkness. The squire then adjourned the
court, and went straight home in high
glee. Arriving there he clapped the
"double saw-buck" over his sye and went
capering around the floor like young colt.
Supper being over he repaired to the barn
to feed his beast. But 10! she was gone.
He had bogus coin in bis pocket, while
the thief was bestride his beautiful mare
over the hills and far away.-Denrer, Col.
Tribune. .lft 1---
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
HELPING A CONSTABLE.

Ono day Michigan Constable who had
long been trying to collect claim OF $40
against q sharp citizen, went TO wealthy
bur Cher and saidI
"Seeihere, Jones, I've got plan to col
lect $40 of that sharper Perkins. All l
want 10 little helpfrom you, and II you'll
grant 1t wont forget the favor"
"I'm wIlling-what's your plan'" replied
Jones.
"Why. want you to bet him e2O
that he doesn't weigh l2O pounds. Ifyou
will do that can FIX the rest
"Oh. III do anything to help you out,
said Jones, and the two walked around to
the grocery where Perkins was known to
hang out. After little talk. the constable
keeping In the shade, Jones began bluffins
and when he stated his hendish desire to
bet $50 that Perkins wouldn't tip the beam
st l2O pounds his greenbachs were covered
before mule could kick three times. Al
the money was put up the Constable slip
ped out for . garnishee and was back In
time to serve 1t on the stakeholder. Per-
kins weighed l4s pounds, and the 90 In
the haIds Of the stakeholder eventually
paid claim against him, but 1t has never
vet been made plain to Jones how he made
anything out Of It. 1t has always seemed
to him that he was $50 out, and for II
long years he has refused to walk on thu
Same side of the street with that Consta
ble
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
SMITH WAS OUT.

A Griswold street lawyer was sitting In
his office the other week when stranger
appeared ut the door and said:
"Beg pardon, but can you tell me where
Smiths office is?"
"Yes, sir-next door,"
The stranger uttered his thanks and
passed to the next door which was lock
ed. Returning to the lawyer he observ'
ed:
"Smith seems to be out7"
"Of course he Is. II you had asked
that question In the frst place I should
have answered it by telling you So"
The visitor had . troubled look on his
face as he passed out Of the building, but
that look was gone when he returned next
day and inquired Of the lawyer:
"How much will you charge for verbal
opinion in . little mstterT
"Oh about g."
The case was stated and the opinion
given, and the stranger, was moving away
when the lawyer said:
MY fee, please"
II haven't cent to pay you"
"You haven't"
"Of course not. II you had asked me
that question in the nrst place should
have answered you by selling You 80
Good morning, sir!"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
STORIES OF JUDGES.
From the Wit and Wisdom OF the Bench and
Bar.

Occasionally judges find themselves in
conflict with members OF the public who
are under no professional privilege or re-
strsint. Some maintain their dignity by
tulng and committing for contempt OF
court. This course may 10 some cases be
necessary, but u delicate ridicule Is gener-
ally much more effective. A troublesome
attorney, who was pleading his own cause
and raising untenable points before Lord
Ellenborough, became exasperated because
he was invariably overruled, and eXclaim-
ed, "My Lord, my Lord, although your
Lordship is so great man now, remem-
Der when could have got your opinion
for five shillings." Such impertinenoe
would, with many judges, have led to the
commi,tal OF the offender; but Lord Ellen
borough merely observed, with an amused
smile, Sir, daresay It was not worth the
money"
The same judge was on one occasion sit
ting at the Guildhall, when Henry Hunt,
the famous demagosue, appeared upon the
floor OF the Court. Mr.. Justice Talfourd
describes the scene which followed, in
these terms: 'I am here, my Lord, on
the part ofthe boy Dogood, proceeded tho
uudsunted Quixote. His LorGship cast
moments glance on the printed list, and
Quietly said, 'Mr Hunt, ! see no name OF
any boy Dogood in the paper OF causes
and turned toward the door OF his room.
MY Lord vociferated the orator, 'am to
have no redress for an unfortunate youth
| thought your Lordship was sitting for
the redress OF injuries in a court OF JUS
tice.' oh, no, Mr.. Hunt still calmly re-
sponded the Judge; Il am sitting at Nisi
Prlus; and have no right to redress any
injuries except those which may be
brought before the jury aud me In the
causes appointed for trial MY Lord
then said Mr.. Hunt, somewhat subdued by
the unexpected smeuity OF the judge, Il
only desire to protest 'Oh Is that allT
said Lord Ellenborough; by all means
protest, and go about your business So
Mr.. Hunt protested and went about his
business; and my Lord went unrufiied to
his dinner, aud both parties were con-
tent.
Great judges have always been the OBJ
iects of intense respect and veneration to
the English people, and few ordinary per-
sons would venture to dispute with
out diffidence the law which they lay
down. There is perhaps no more anus
ing or fragrant abuse Of this confidence In
judicial requirements than the proceedings
of Sir Edward Coke when he went In
search Of his daughter. He had lived for
wears on very bad terms with his wife,
who, when he proposed to marry their
only daughter to Sir John villiers, carried
her of and concealed her at house at
oatlands, belonging to the Earl Of Argyll.
Coke, receiving information Of this, col.
ected body Of armed men and put him
self at their head. Encased in breast
plate. with sword at his side, and pis-
tolls at his saddlebow, he arrived with his
followers at the outer gate OF the house,
where he repeatedly demanded his daugh-
ter in the Kings name, laying 1t down for
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
LAW BRIEFS.
In slander suit iu Oregon the court
held that man Is "an honest man who
won't steal nrewood on 9 cold night"

In slander suit 10 Oregon the cour
held that man Is "an honest man WHIT
won't steal nrewood on Q cold night"
"A man was recently tried for stealing
milk from q neighbor's COW. The jury
after mature deliberation, returned yer
dict Of "GuIlty Of milking . cow In the
6rst degree"
The widow Of Ezekial Webster, broth
er OF the great ststesman, and an even
more promising lawyer when they were
both young, is still. living at Concord, N.
H., having survived her husband "a
years.
OF Daniel Webster's first legal argu.
ment before a court 1t was said by the
judge to whom 1t was addressed: THAT
young mans statement Is a most unan-
swerable argument" 1t was his forte so
to state point as to make the statement
its proof.
In trial before justice at Dodge City,
Kansas, witness who was being bully.
ragged by . cross-examining lawyer called
on the court for protection. The Judge
banded him pistol. 81 have no further
questions" said the lawyer.
"A gentleman was talking about pop
ular judge to Sergeant Ballantine. He
Is very good fellow, for he never says q
word against any one," observed the gen.
tleman. at would be surprising II he
did," replied the sergeant; "for he never
talks OF any one but himself"
The greatest joiner-the lawyer: he
can place tenant, impanel jury, box .
witness, bore the court, chisel a..client,
augur the gains, floor witness, cut bis
board, nail his case, hammer the desk, nle
his bill. and shave the whole community.
Mr.. Justice Hayes, as Is we'll known,
was q wit. On the trial Of cause OF
"woodcock vs.. Bird" before Lord Chief
Justice Jervis at Warwick, the Chief JUS
tice having remarked that 1t was q pity
that two Z" Birds should not live In har-
mony, Hayes replied: "Yes, 1t Is, my lord,
but my client complains Of the plaintin's 3
bill?"
The biggest girl in the school at Ham
mond's Corners, Ohio, was whipped by
q teacher with great severity. Her father
had the young man arrested, and few
days ago the case was called for trial.
But the prosecuting attorney said the mat
ter had been smicably arranged; the girl
WAS not only convinced that the punish
ment was deserved, but accepted the
teachers discipline for life, Is his wife.
In . country place In North Carolina,
some time after the war, they elected a.
Justice OF the Peace an old white.haired
negro, ignorant, but honest, and well
liked. His FIRST case was jury trial.
After the pleading was over the counsel
Informed His Honor that he could charge
the Jury. Him. Charge lie juryr
Eyes, your Honor" "Wal, gemmen oi
dc jury, it pears de case am trsw, an
got to close it wild lie charge. Consider
In de 'sperience you hab got, tink will
charge you two dollar an haf O piece"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
THE CRANK BUSINESS.


cam dar crank present In de hall to-
uight?" softly asked Brother Gardener, a.
the meeting OF the Lime Kiln Club
opened.
Not voice answered.
Have any Of you seen Q crank aroun'
town dis las week." continued the pres
ident.
Not one had, or at least no one admit
ted 1t.
Two weeks ago de kentry was full OF
EN-. You find 'em on de street kyar, At de
depot, aroun' de hotels, and eben In church.
All of sudden you can't skeer up single
crank. De bizness has got to be unhealthy.
De plea Of insanity doan' 90 down wild de
jury as slick a. II did. De time when one
man can put knife into anoder an make
q jury believe he was BON dat way an
couldn' help 1t, has bout expired. De
crank mus 60. He mus quit shootin
stealth an bein' heard ofin delan'. When
de crank fust brought ford de ideah dat
de Deity was benin an urged him on, II
was sunthin new an novel, but dat ideah
am played out Wild de rest.
MY frens, let de cantankerous bezuess
alone. Doan' call stealth by any odder
name, II your hands itch fur money dat
belong to some one else, take It an skip,
and when de law overhauls you doan' sot
up de plea dat an angel from heaven urged
you on. Legal farces hab had deir day In
dis kentry. Insanity, kleptomains, sudden
emotion, drunkenness an loss O. money
will be poor excuses before fucher ju-
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
THE RESULT OF BELIEVING IN
PROVERBS.

While the prisoners were out In the jail
yard q few days ago, two Of them who
were under sentence to the penitentiary,
were comparing notes about as follows:
~ don't believe In proverbs" said pris-
oner No. l, at 10 believing In proverbs
that brings me here. When I was boy.
often seen folks pick up pins and when
I asked them why they did 1t, they
said:
"If you see pin and lot II lay,
You will have bad luck all the day"
well, it don't work. / have picked up
. pin, and I've had bad luck ever since. /
was arrested the very same day and now
I've got TO 20 to the penitentiary for
three years"
"what has that to do with picking up
pins?"
"Well, you see, the pin / picked up was
diamond pin worth $50. believed in
the proverb about having good luck III
picked up the pin in 4 show case, but they
telephoned for the police and here l am" "
The other prisoner thought for mo-
ment and then he said:
when I come to think OF 1t, proverbs
are what have brought me to this fix"
"How so?' asked the man who had
picked up the pin for good luck.
"well, had heard about horseshoes
bringing good luck, so picked up horse
shoes. Horseshoes were my weakness. "
Then horseshoes that you went of
with were fastened on to another fellows
horse, weren't theyi" queried No l.
Jess So"
when get out I'm not going to tam
por with any more proverbs" remarked
No. ..
"Me neither" responded No. l.
Fall In boys" said the jaller, and they
went back to their cosy retreat on the In.
side OF the jail.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
A LA TOM HOOD.

Ben Bosen was a sailor man,
But not man assailer.
Therefore he would not whale man,
He'd only man a whaler.
He'd sail the seas and seize the sail.
And when he'd hcave the lead
lie would be led 10 heave, and pale,
Throw up the sponge, most dead.
He'd eye his pipe and pipe his eye
When smoking was forbidden;
When wet he'd say that he was dry
And search for liquor hidden.
Sometimes he'd see ship; sometimes.
He'd only ship n sea-
The climcs he saw were mostly climbs
Upon the mast 10 see.
Ben's harltack was 10 tack the ship;
Yet never n man was sooner
Than be. when In tho slip. 10 slip
And quick attack a schooner"
file was aboard when on the sea:
when on tho shore a boar,lcr.
Though not boarding pirate. lie
Was then pie rate boar,ler.
Though Ben could not direct at sea.
At sea he could die wrecked;
His resurrection day would be
The day they'd raise her wrecked.
One day shark went swimming by,
And Ben. alas. he fllled him.
No shark. they said. could make him die.
Had not the shock first killed him.
-IDctroit Free Press.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14

A HOUSEHOLD FRrESp.-There is hardly
a family in which accidents Of some kind
are not occurring daily, and in order to be
prepared to give immediate and sure relief
from the consequent pain, every household
should have PoND's EXTRACT At hand. Its
wonderful healing power for all kinds OF
cuts, bruises, sprains, soreness, pains and
aches, etc, has been satisfactorily attested
by the numerous testimonials which II
has received throughout the country dur
ing the last thirty five years. Go to your
druggist and ask for POND's EXTRACT.
Take no substitute, but have the genuine
article.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14

DR.. r. V. PIERCE, Buffalo, N. Y: Dear
Sir: I was sick for six years, and could
scarcely walk about the house. Ny breath
was short and suffered from pain in my
breast and stomach all the time; also from
palpitation and an internal iever, or burn
Inc sensation, and experienced frequent
smothering or choking sensations. l also
suffered from pain low down across my
bowels and In my back, and was much re-
duced In flesh. have used your Golden
Medical Discovery" and "Favorits Pre-
sciption," and feel that am well. Very
respectfully, DEIILAH B. MCMILLAN,
Arlington, Ga.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14

"A st. Catherins's (Canada) jury Of
twelve enlightened and thinking men, who
were called to Judge the facts Of . case
wherein murder had probably been done
its victim . womsn-came to the fore
with the conclusion, Died by the visit
alton Of God under suspicious circum-
stances."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
Try cranberry poultice for erysIpelas.

EXPERIENCE THE BEST GUIDE.-Ths rss
son why women everywhere use Parker's
Ginger Tonic Is, because they have learned
by experience-the best guide-that this
excellent medicine overcomes despondsn-
cy; periodical headache, Indigestion, pain
in the back and kidneys, and other troubles
Of the sex.-Home Journal.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14

The man with ear mufis doesn't hear
about the cold weather 50 often as the rest
Of US, which is great relief 1t Is bad
enough to be half frozen to death, without
being stopped at every corner to be told
that IL IL A cold day.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14

AMERICAN LADIEs.-Ths arst impress
sion Sara Bernhardt received Of the Amer.
ican ladies manifested itself thusly: "Oh!
20 ladies, "a are so beautiful, such clear
complexion nevare see before" all OF
which Is due TO the universal use OF
Swayne's Ointment for skin diseases,
which insures clear and clean complex
lon, and healthy color. This recalls 70
mind the divine prscept cleanliness Is
next to Godliness."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
Try ginger ale for stomach cramps.

FADED OoLoRs RESTORED. Faded or
gray hair gradually recovers it's youthful
color and lustre by the use OF Parker's
Hair Balsam, an elegant dressing, admired
for its purity and rich perfume,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
Try gargllng lager beer for sore throat
MOTHER DIED OF SALT RHRUM.

MOTHER DIED OF SALT RHKUM.
J. w. Adams, Newark, Ohio, says: "Cu-
ticura Remedies are the greatest medicines
on earth. Had the worst case Salt Rheum
In this county. My mother had II twenty
years. and In fact died from 1t. believe
Cuticura would have saved her life. Ny
arms, breast and head were covered for
three years, which nothing relieved or
cured until used the Cuticura Remedies" !"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
NUMBER 10.
"Wheat Bitters." Mothers require It.
Children cry for it. Fathers buy It. Price
9l per bottle. For sale by all druggists.
Try cranberry for malaria.

THINK OF 1T. Is life and health not worth
preserving? The best preventive and rs-
storer, Is "Wells' Health Renewer, sold BY
all Druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
Try clam broth for q weak stomach.

WIsTAR's BAIsAM OF WILD CHERRY
cures Coughs, Colds, Bronchitis, Whoop-
ing Cough, Group, Influenza, Consumption
and all diseases OF the Throat, Lungs and
Chest. so cents and 81 q bottle.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
For the Democrat,

For the Democrat.
GROWTH.
Ispring to life
Thro' earthly strife,
With seasons drear.
And seasons clear;
With frost and blight,
With sun and light.
In grief and JOY,
A growing boy,
That seeks to rise from this dark spot,
To manhood's strength. and angel lott
The seed the hopeful farmer sows,
Awhile seems dead,
But soon above the ground II grows,
With gentle head
With winsomc grace, and takes its place
Where greetings good OF brotherhood.
Around are shed.
And Ia seed OF highest birth,
Shall cleave the bonds OF mother earth,
And sweetly rise
To blissful skies,
And bear the fruits OF grace and worth
feel attracting love and truth,
Encouraging my spirits youth.
To realms OF peaceful air:
feel for open fields around,
And strive 10 burst entombing ground,
That may flourish there.
Ny weakling hope puts forth its blade
In pleasant sun, in reedful shade.
Receives the dew and welcome rain.
And turns az last 10 golden grain:
While One above,
Looks down In love,
On changing growth from grace to grace,
From dark TO light and peaceful place.
With Reaper's gladness on His facel
W. BRuSToy.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
Try a sun bath for rheumatism.

IMPORTANT TO TRAvELERs.-Special In.
ducements are offered you by the BurlinG.
ton Route. 1t will pay you to read their
advertisement TO be found elsewhere In
this issue.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
Notice..

ius .H = 20 loreii AL persons harborIns or trust
,Seonn as on ny account "a / shall paw no deots OF
contracting after II date.
trier, Feb. ID, lSs2. -
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
WeiDeMeyef

WEI DE MEYERS CATARRH
Cure, q Constitutional Antidote for
this terrible malady, by Absorption.
SPURTS OF disgusting Mucous
Snufies, Cracking Pains In the
Head, Fctid Breath, Deafness, and
any Catarrhal Complaint, can be
exterminated By Wei Dc Mcyer's
CatarrA Cure. Tho most important
Discovery since Vaccination. Other
remedies may relieve Catarrh, this
curcs mt any stage before Co1sump-
ton sets In.
onc package generally sufaces.
Delivered by Druggists. or by d. 3.
Dewey & Co, lS2 Fulton ST., N. Y,
sl.0O complcte. Treats eand re-.
parksblo statements By the cured
SeS,c3 free.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-03-14
ROUGH ON THE JUDGE.

The case on trial was for the sale OF
liquor. The witness was singularly OBJ
tuse; and though confessins to have made
purchase, could not, for the life Of him,
tell what the article was. =
genious questioning could not bring II
out. At last, the attorney asked him:
"How did 1t taste?"
Here the Judge interposed. alleging that
to be An improper question, and inquired
Of the attorney why he put such an inter-
rogatory.
~well, your Honor" replied the attor-
ney, 81 was unable to make the witness
tell what kind Of liquor he bought; but /
thought that II he would tell how 1t tasted,
the court might be able TO determine for
ITSELF"
And not even the solemnlty Of the place
or the cause Was sufficient to suppress the
mirth Of the audience.