The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1882-03-25
Miscellaneous Items.

W HES a woman gets frightened at night sh
just pulls tie bed-clJthe- over her head, SAYS IN
- terrified out Of her wits. and gOes to sleep,
says who knOw- but with a man il i
different. He says be - not afraid pushes III,
clothes down, and lies tremblIngly awake for tw,
or three bours, straining bis eyes at every sound
A YOUNG Frenchman, who had sOwn a heavl
crop Ui Wild oats, determined to get married anC
settle down On the wedding day his mOther-in
law said to him, .. hope my dear sOn-in-law
TINT you will be guilty Of no more foIIies ir
future. - My dear madam" be replied. -
promise you that this shall be the last
- YOU must find It a nonstrous BORE says a
visitor 70 his hostess, the goddess Of a renowned
salon. - TO have 10 entertain many people
How do you ever manage TO get rid of tires1me
folk2' - Easily enough. When want to get
rid Of anybody I talk To him about myself II
wi-h anyone 10 stay, all | have TO do Is to talk
about himself"
Cts de Smith il not very prompt in paying his
debts. lie j. also 10 the habit Of getting shaved
on the credit system. He in the barber
shop getting shaved, but somehow didn'; enjoy
it very much for his chin was bleeding in several
places. .. What in the IIades is the matter with
that ruzIr2 I guess is has not been sharpened
~ an age. said Guss. - i dunno what the
matter wId de razor, sah, replied the barber !:
- ! always -haves you wild de same razor and /
sharTened dis heah on de berry same day
you payed me for the last shave, and just as soon
a. you makes annuder payment Ill sharpen it
up some NOAH
\ HEROINE has just died at Paris Bell Boyd
was a noted Confederate spy in the American
war. She Washington - belle - when the
was broke out, but having heard a lot Of the Fed
ernl plans which she was able % communicate 70
the Suuthern Generals, who highly cOmplimented
her, she acquired n taste for the campaign and
followed 20 through, being captured several times
bot always escaping After peace was restored.
she married in England. was LEFT n widow, wrote
play illustrating her own adventures and acted
an It, married again, was deserted, wrote book,
lectured IN public, and died. y truly checquered
career
a CLERGYMtS in one Of the Hudson River
towns united n German couple in marriage
When the knot tied, the bridegroom said-
% Dominic. I have got no mOuish but Ill send
you lcetle pig. - IL done and the cir
cumstance forgotten by the clergyman.
Two years after he met the German in another
town, for the fret time since the marriage cere-
mOuy performed, .. Dominic, 4" said the Ger
man, - you remembered you married me, and
I g1vc YOU Won little pig2' % Yes" - Veil,
Il you'll unmary me. II give you two little pig"
a YELLOW prisoner Of Lefroy, who was confin-
ed with him, IN Lewis Goal WREN he was under
committal. says :-'' We were up 10 all sorts Of
tricks in the gaOl. You certainly would never
think that one Of us was a mau who stood in per-
il Of his life, with horrible charge of murder
hanging over hIs head. You this tall hat Of
mine with the bulges IN it? We used to make
this hat the wicket get MOrris's bolster for bat
and LEROY, taking OH his stockings, used 20
roll them into ball. and have fun All
this when under cOmmittal for one Of the most
horrible crimes Of modern days \ curious part
Of the thing was that, although LEROY never had
n loOPhole for escape, he made 50 confident Of be-
ing acquitted that he told his to have a cab
Whiting for him outside the gaJl at the conclusion
Of the trial. II the jury had not found him guilty
we suppose he would have returned to Australia
and edited a religious paper.
- YEs. I always make practice of sending
ha
was saying to the grocer. - and shall want an
extra one this week. Yes, [ must make at |
least one soul happy. All. Heaven bless !
YOU =" called out a who had been asking the /
price OF onions you are the man who sent me /
that turkey last year - - Is that so? You !
were living on - street?i' q. was and |
was laid up with a lame foot. and my wife, was /
nearly dead with the chIlls.' - Well, | am /
glad t. meet you. | told the cJachman to give /
the bird TO some deserving person. and am glad /
you were made happy" e. And | never shall /
forget you. sir. put the turkey up at rattle, I
rakcd In three dollars on him, and outside VI a !
pint OF wi,i-key for my wife laid in enough /,
tabaceO TO last me Elk weeks? May you never I
know what it - 10 be poor
Dr. GALLAUDET. OF New York. - a very pOpu- /
lar preacher. The other day there was a we'd !
ding at bis church. Entered an old lady. Polite |
USHER Shall | conduct you to a seat, madam?
II You please, sir, =, she replied. The ceremony
over old lady turns tD young lady IN pew be- |
hind her and asks Do you know the bride?' - /
Youn, Indy do Old lady" Will you be /
kind enough TO give her this ? ~ handing the !
beautiful dtmsel a card. The inspiriting streams /
Of the Mid-ummer's Night Dream March," F.
are aloding the church. but the young lady. /
nevertheless, drops buck upon her seat, horror |
struck 20 read. Mrs. Evans, nurse, No. -,
E1st Sixteenth street.
One night in the spring Of 1862 General Rich /
ard-on. who then Commanded n brigade, took 1t /
into his head to inspect the picket line Coming
upon a reserved picket Of about thirty men under
Command OF 4 captain OF the Second Michigan
Infantry, the General saw ft to interrOgate as
follows: o.. Captain, IN case of an alarm by the
advance picket what would VOC do - - Send
of n reinforcement at once And If the
firing Continued?" 9. I should move up with
the remainder OF my force - And suppose a
whole company OF tile enemy should press for
ward - .. We'd whip Ihem.' - But If
IL sns n regiment2 - - q form = line Of battle
and check them until seDt back and got orders
10 charge and capture the whole lot Veil
suppose n brigade should move down on you IN
battle lne2 I'D order charge, split the
column 10 two, and whip both halves IN detail
At midnight the brave captain was relieved from
further duty on pIckets. He was very indignant
and considerably puzzled, but after thinking the
matter over Tor n while he said % brother OH
cer-..Say I've struck il Old Rich was afraid
NV company might gObbe the whole Confederate
army ana throw him cut Of n summers job IL
that amt selishness then I'd like to know what
is2"
\ shy young man Of Scotland TOR fourteen
wears had wo0ed the lassIe Of his heart One
right jamie, for that was the young man
name called % see Jennie, and there was q terri
bic look about his eyes-just as there IL some
times when they've made up their minds to pop
tie question. And jamie came up and sat down
by the fire Just he had done every Tuesday
and Friday night for fourteen years, and he talked
Of tie weather, and the cattle, and the crops,
and the stock market, was going to say-but
no. they didn't talk about that And finally,
Jamie sand .-.s I've known you for a long time"
- Yes. JAMIE she said - And-I've thought
I'd always like to know you, Jennie g Yes
jamie - - And so I've bought lot-Jenne. -
s'Y e-s-J-a-m-i-e." SO-that-when-
- Ya--Iamta- We're dead we can Law