The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-09-01
HUMOR.
ANAN1As was doubtless a bass fisher.

ANANIAs was doubtless bass fisher.
A MELTING story-No ice for butter.
SAVING the froth is a great morale
lesson.
The gilded youth of the present gen.
GRAFTON is generally lined with brass.
ONE of the most aggravating of bores
is spiral stud on a close fitting shirt
bosom.
MANY man is not satisfied to live on
the face of the earth. He tries to live
on his own face.
ETERNAL fitness was never more ap-
propriately dove tailed in than in the
euphouious name of the German pianist,
Hammeritt.
"Is THIS Your first appearance in a
court of justice ?" asked the Austin Re-
corder of vagrant. 'sNo, Judge, it is
the last time thus far-how is it with
yourself?'-Teras SJtiags.
A CORPORAL met one of his men who
was drunk. "Ah," said he, s'drunk
again ]! My corporal" he replied,
better be drunk than stupid, for stu
pidity is everlasting and drunkenness IS
but momentary."
"DTDN'T you tell me, sir, you could
hold the plow?" said farmer to an
Irishman whom he had taken on trial.
"Arrah, be aisy now" said Pat chow
the deuce can hould it and two horses
drawing it away from me? But give it
to me into the barn, and be iabers I'll
hoIlld it with anybody"
FRED Gust returned from a long jour
ney) to his brother who has got mar
RED say, Jack, what in the world
did you marry that frightfu ly-ugIv
woman for?" Jack did not look at
her exterior--it was for her inward
beauty that I married her." Fred
a." For goodness sake, Jack, turn her in
side out. "-Quiz.
A COUNCIL BLUFFS little boy swore a
swear and his mamma washed his mouth
with soap and water. Again, on the
following day. the youngster swore
again. His mother heard it and he
knew it; so he ran to the kitchen, made
some soap-snds and drank them. The
doctor arrived in time to Save him, and
now, his mother being afraid to wash his
mouth again, he swears like pirate.
A PRACTICAL party. Tourist fisher
man No. "Any fish about here, my
man?" Scot: "Nae, yen get nae fish
ABBOTT here" Tourist fisherman No. 2:
"But this must be the place little fat
man in kilt directed us to as good
SWIM" Scot "Eh that's Sandy Mac
intosh, an he's liar. A mon that can
tell deleeberet lie, wi'out it's in the
way O gain, is maist immoral charac-
ter. Fun.
"GUEss we're all right now !" pulled
the old gentleman as, hopping the pers-
piration from his forehead, he reached
the steamboat landing with his wife,
just in time to be too late; "guess
we're all right" "Guess we're all
right, do you?" reioined she, catching a
glimpse of the steamer as it disappeared
around bend in the river ''guess
we're all right Well, / guess we're all
left. )" And they were.
A GENTLEMAN in this city was going
out the other day with a little nephew
and his baby sister, Grace, when he
hesitated and remarked that he thought
it was going to rain. Little George did
not like this, and said that he would bet
that it wouldn't rain. Chow much will
you bet?" asked his uncle. Well"
said George, thinking moment, "TIl
bet % cents" "Put up your money"
said his uncle. But at this moment
baby Grace discovered several drops of
rain, and drawing attention to them said
gravely: "I fink 90 better put up 90
umbellar. "-D6tr0it Free Press.
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