News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-12-21
A DEFEATED CANDIDATE.
He Relates his Experience in Running for
an ONCE.

v He Relates his Experience in Running f'
an ONCE.
n A candidate for office in New Yor
# City relates his little experience as TO
y, lows: "While indulging in the mos
t pleasant anticipation over the fact that
: had been nominated" said he, 9Th
9 door-bell would ring and a committe
. representing the Hickory Club or tn
> 'Jeffersonian Legion would be ushereC
in. The Chairman and his associates
were not usually dressed in the garb O
| our first citizens, but nevertheless they
showed q close familiarity with the
politics of the district. They began by
tickling my vanity with the announce
ment that my nomination IS lndoTsed 10y
{ every respectable man, regardless Of
politics, from one end of the ward to the
other. At this point 1 urge them to ac-
cept some refreshments, and while am
busy putting away the empty glasses the
Hickoryites cast furtive glances at
each other to demonstrate that the
sucker is hooked. The conference
proceeds.
"The delegation denounce the political
leaders on the other side, whom they
charge with selfshness and corruption,
and elevate their eyes to Heaven as they
proclaim that, thank God, their down
fall is near at hand I coincide in their
view, of course, and am anxious for them
to depart so that can impart the inter-
view to my wife, my cousins and my
aunts, who are congregated III another
room awaiting important scraps ofinform-
alton. At last the Chairman draws from
his breast pocket $40 worth of ball tick
cts. 1 do not pretend to conceal my
poverty and remind my visitors that l
only accept the nomination to rectify the
very abuses which they complain OF.
While am delivering a pathetic address
in behalf of the unfortunate taxpayers,
the Chairman of the Hickorys' casually
mentions the fact that if the delegation
were to visit my opponent he would be
willing to take 800 worth of tickets. The
interruption carries weight with it, and
with sickly smile hand over the $40
and place the package of tickets on the
mantelpiece.
'WelI, the success of the 'Hickoryites
travels with the rapidity of prairie fire,
and during the next. twenty-four hours
delegates from the 'Ivanhoes, Iron Clad
Musketeers, The Hussy Socials' and
score of others put in their appearance,
and if I part with my doodle, find
that I have volume of sympathy and a
barrel of ball tickets. Suppose the posi-
ton I aspire to is Member of Assembly,
or, perhaps, Alderman. If elected, the
first will bring me in salary of 81, 500,
and the latter $4,000. A week before
election, having nothing particular to do
for an hour or so, 1 think it wise to
| figure out my expenses up to that date,
| which is about as follows
Assessment to central organization. 800
Assessment for nomination to district or
| ganlzatlon ...................... ZoO
Printing 312
! Donation to church fair r................ 100
| Ball tickets. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 200
Pocket money to friends who are going
dTOuHu LII my LHGeTesG. ..--...-. AOU
Personal expenses in saloons and drinks for
the boys at balls and parties (esti-
mated. 450
81. .642
"'Nearly 81, 7OO,' whistle to myself,
and six days yet to canvass
"I become desperate. The strikers
are more numerous; and conceding that
the race is likely to prove a close one, I
hesitate to make single enemy, and for
fear of losing what [ have already spent,
together with having my ambition for
fame dashed to the ground, bleed Like
a stuck pig. The ballots are sent to the
Headquarters of the district in small
bags. Should the printer not make an
error, by failing to bunch mine with the
rest, J draw sigh of relief, and escaping
this danger, consider it an omen of vic
tory. Before daybreak the ballot-boxes
line the sidewalks in the vicinity of the
polls. am as happy and contented as
a boy with red-top boots. / read with
pleasure, mingled with a little streak of
egotism, my name on the large muslin
posters. From poll to poll walk, always
seeking information on the condition of
affairs from the representatives of my
party.
"While chuckling over the splendid
outlook, my eye rests upon the form of
the President of the Hickory Club, who
is guarding the ballot-box of my oppo-
nent. An angry scene follows. I am
reminded of the injury to my chances
q street brawl will occasion. L feel the
| logic and walk away, after impressing
the Hiekoryite' that when the polls
close his friends will find it necessary to
gather up his remains on a shovel.
"Well, the terrible threat does not in
the least disconcert the Hickoryites.
The fight is over, the polls close and the
watchers are at their stations. At eight
o'clock the vote for Assembly is can
vassed, and L find that 1 am beaten by
over a thousand majority. 1 seek the
repose of home, and the only y stimulant
to encourage me is the hope of getting
square ON my false friends. Had won
it wouldn't have struck me until the con-
gratUlations of associates became stale
that the race has cost me over s., ,000."