News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-09-21
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
A Lesson Learned-A Remedy-A
Question of Fees.
TFrom the Detroit Free Press

A Lesson Learned-A Remedy-A
Question of Fees.
From the Detroit Free Press
Samuel Shin has learned a Lesson
which will remain fresh in his mind il he
lives to be ten thousand years old. As
he entered the lodge to arrange the
chairs and benches for the opening of
the regular Saturday night meeting, he
discovered a big watermelon on the
stove. Samuel is not always respecter
of the rights of property. His every
day theory is :: "To the finder belongs
the watermelon. Having no doubt that
this fruit had been left behind by some
member at the last meeting, and hoping
that he had time to devour the whole of
it before any one should come in, he
proceeded 10 business. Scarcely had
he laid hands on the melon before there
was an explosion which upset every
thing in the room and landed Samuel
under the lavender bench forty feet
away. He received three cuts on the
nose, two on the chin, had his wool bad
ly frizzled, and it will be seven weeks
before he will be able to wink with his
left eye.
Gemlen, I trust dat dis lesson will
sink deep into yer hearts an be token
fur solemn warnin," said Brother
Gardner, as he opened the meeting.
SIN de fust place de pusson who lets
his curiosity lead him aroun' by de nose
will trabbel in de swamps as often as on
de highway. In de mex place, he who
has no respects fur de rights of odders
will often fin possesshun dangerous
thing. Had Brudder Shin stood off a
distance of ten feet, an bin content to
gaze on dat mellyon, an let his mouf
water ober de idea OBJ what was inside
he would not at dis mint be lynn on a
bench in de anty-room wild his head on
a paint key an his heart grievin' fur de
long ago. Envy am de fodder on which
small-minded man exists. Jealousy
am de weapon of man who hash t
brains huff to pull himself up. Avarice
am feelin' borrowed from de hog.
We will now go ahead an warm up de
machinery of routine bizness.''
A REMEDY.
Under the head of communications
the Secretary read a letter from the
Office of the Secretary of State of In.
diana asking the club to use it's infiu-
ence to stop the adulteration of food
and drink, and inquiring if Brother
Gardner had any suggestions to make.
81 has given dis adulterashun subjeck
considerable thought" said The old man
as he elevated his glasses. "When
take home fo' cents worth of bakin'
powder, I am made to realize dat my
biscuit am to be mixed wild alum, cream
tartar, chalk, clay, and de land only
knows how much mash, beeswax
an lemonade left ober from de las pic
mic. Dey adulterate my sugar, my tea,
my coffee, my beer dat keep in case of
sickness, an when l carried home de
las Goldfish 1 foun' whar' dey had tried
to adulterate him wild scrap-iron. As to
de remedy, it seems to me dat if we
would all agree to lib fur six months on
co'n-meai an bacon, it would stop dis
wickedness, but I should want to see de
hogs killed an de con husked wild my
own eyes"
THE FEE QUESTION.
Judge Cadayer secured the floor to
offer resolution that all members of
the Lime-Kiln Club employed about
hotels and on steamboats, and on rail
road trains be instructed to positively
refuse any fees for doing what they were
hired to do.
The motion was supported by Givea
dam Jones and three other members in
unison, and the resolution was objected
to by Samuel Shin, Waydown Bebee
and Wheeiright Perkins. After the
club had wrangled over the question for
five minutes the President wrapped for
silence and observed:
81 reckon kin settle de matter to de
satisfackshun of all concerned. Whar'
member of dis club am hired to wait
on de public, he mus do his dooty wild
hmberness an dispatch. No extra
charge must be made fur labor, but if
de victim desires to present him half a
dollar fur de extra style flung on Id
cllmbin' three par of stars wild a glass
of water, OATS matter wild which We
have muffin to do. If hotel waiter
answers call any time within an hour
he am DOOM all dat kin reasonably be
'spected of him. If he puts hisself out
to shorten de time by fifteen minutes,
and de surprised guest hands him 81,
dat money can be conscientiously re-
ceived an kept down de boot leg till dar
am an opportunity to visit policy. shop
an lose it."