The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1882-08-05
Miscellaneous Items.


What fruit does newly married
couple resemble ? \ green pear
When George Coleman the younger was
asked If he knew Theodore Hook, he said:
'Oh. yes; Hook and eye are often together
When a Cincinnati man speaks of the
production of his pen. you never know
whether he is literary " feller" or a hog
Riser.
'.What is that, motherl1 1T is the Legisls-
ture my child What does it do, mother!"
1T repeaIs acts passed by the Legislature,
my child
Fix yourself upon the wealthy In word,
take this for a golden rule through life
never, never have friend that's poorer than
yoUrseIf.--D. JerroLd
The Chinese diplomats are said to be
amazed at the lack Of filial reverence in
America, and writer of their race has even
proposed to establish a mission there to teach
the sentiment
A few desks in the reading-room of the
British Museum are set apart "for ladies
only and one of the standing jokes of the
room. perfectly supported by fact, is that
they are never occupied, the ladies preferring
to be with the gentlemen.
business do we do much business here2
Why, sir, there is as much business done IN
Honolulu in one lcesk there is In San
Francisco, Chicago. or New York in
hour" And he pulled out Of the office.
That kind .f religion is likely to be most
popular which does not seriously interfere
with what you intend to do.-Ecchdnge.
Another popular kind is that that does not
interfere with what you have done, or-con-
dones the same.
II many times falls out that we deem our
selves much deceived in others because we
FIRST deceive ourselves. In forming a juGg-
ment, lay your he .rts void of foretaking
opinions, else whatsoever is done or said
will be measured by a wrong rule; like
them who have the jaundice. to whom every
thing appeas- yenow.--i 1,''|'-0r.
Il IS rumored at the Capitol on 18th July
that the House Committee on Foreign
Affairs had practically decided to adopt Mr..
Kassou's report on the Nicaragua Canal
question, which report favOrs the incorpora-
ton of a comp ny of which General Grant
will be president
The last rih on the New Orleans and
Texas-P .cihc Railway, completing the con-
nection from New Orleans to San Francisco, /
was laid on the morning of July II, at a |
point in the Atchafalaya Valley beyond the /
Pacific will be prepared to send through to I
New Orleans 200 cars of freight per day as
soon as the rails can take the trains.
The rmy of -.cranks - who lately de-
Iuged the President with appeals for the
pardon Of Sergeant Mason. have broken
loose again. Even the American residents
on the Hawaiian Islands join in sending in
a petition for restoring the Sergeant to his
.. Betty This ought to suggest a novel
method of mitigating the severity of the
eourt-m rtial, Let Mason's sentence be
eommuted to service on a Sandwich Islands
plantation Before three months were over
he would beg to be taken back TO pegging
shoes at the Albany Penitentiary.-S +.
Chronicle
MEN WHO KEEP THEIR HATS on WHILE AT
DISSEK-The young man-he hasn't time
to remove it-business, you know. The
ROugh-'tisn't IN his way to be decent, you
know. The Careless man-who dosnt .
know, and dosn't care where his hat Is.
The Baldheaded man-who has good reason
for protecting his pate from the flies. The
Timid manages with the majority; and
the average ksnaIla-because he has a hat.
Some idea of the rapid growth of the
coffee trade of the world may be OBJ
tanned from the fact that the total pro-
duction, which was 675,000,000 pounds
in 1859, has now risen to l,3O0, 100000
pounds, or nearly doubled. In Europe
alone the consumption of coffee Is said
TO have increased 100000, 900 pounds in
the single year of 1879. As for the pro
ducing countries, it seems that Brazil
now holds the first place with total of
500. .OOO. 900 pounds against 3O,OOO,OOO .
in 1879 The emancipation of the slaves
is. however, expected to lead to falling
off in the crop, unless the Cinnamon and .
coolies imported from Asia should prove .
unexpectedly well suited for the work .
of cultivation. Next on the list come \
the Dutch Indian possessions, which ,
export 5O,OOO,0OO pounds, the British .
East Indies, now exporting over 4
I4O. .OOO. 900. and Venezuela, producing .
about 100, ,OOO, 900. On the other hand, /
the Antilles Island have long been de /
cIining in the scale. Jamaica does not |
supply half as much coffee as in 1905. |
Martinique has fallen still more entirely |
out of the race, and Reunion coffee, |
which was once highly esteemed, and Is !
still declared to be of excellent quality, |
finds no longer any market in Europe |
owing to the questionable bitterness OF |
taste.-AHd.