davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
THE ASSASSIN.
His Bones Now Bleaching In the SUN.
Washington telegram

His Bones Now Bleaching I'm the SUN.
Washington telegram
II seems difficult to Danish the word Guiteau
from the dispatches. His bones are daily
bleaching in the sun, but the doctors quarrels
have not ended, and the jail guards, laughing
in their sleeves at human incredulity, point out
the spot beneath the Warden's room,
where it is supposed that the assassin
lies buried. It was not until yesterday
that the jail physician discovered that he had
been made the victim of a grim practical joke
by the jail guards, because he had poured large
quantities of carboic acid over the spot where
he thought Guiteau lay buried, to overcome the
noisome odor of what he now knows was rat
long dead, placed there by the jesting guard
Guteaus bones are being bleached, prelim-
mary to being "artioulated," as the doctors
call it, IN skeleton. This is the way in which
the local papers say it is being done For sew
eral days the huge boiler in the back building
of the Museum has been seething and bubbling.
In it was Guiteaus body. On Saturday morn
ing about $3.50 the process of boiling and ma
ceration was completed, and the bones of the
assassin were removed with tongs from the pot
and scraped carefully, to divest them OF every
particle of flesh. They were then stepped in
ether, to remove any fat that might have chung
to them, and placed in a stout canvas bag, in
which they were taken to the roof. The large
bones were then spread out upon the roof.
The little ones were placed in small
boxes, to insure against the possibility of
their being lost, and the process of
bleaching commenced. At night the bones
were gathered up and taken inside the building
by the colored man who has charge of them,
where they were placed in a bleaching fluid.
Yesterday morning they were taken out and
again placed upon the roof, and this process
will be continued for couple of weeks when
the skeleton will be articulated and placed in
case which has been prepared for it.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
West VS.. East.

1t is of no use for an Eastern man to
Try to tell big story when there is q
Western man about When I was
young man." said Col. B., of Boston,
"we lived lin Illinois. The farm had
been well Npoded and the stumps were
pretty thicB. But we put the corn in
among them and managed fair crop.
The next season did my share of the
blowing. We had sulky pillow and
sat in the seat and managed the
horses, four as handsome bays as ever a
man drew rein over. Ore day found
stump in my way. I hated to back out,
so / just said a word to the team, and, if
you will believe it, they just walked
that pillow right through that stump as
though it had been cream cheese"
Not soul expressed surprise, but
Maj. S., Of Chicago, who had been a
quiet listener, remarked quietly; "It's
turious, but l bad similar experience
myself once. My mother always made
our clothes in those days, as well as the
cloth they were made OF. The old lady
was awful pioud of her homespun-s said
it was the strongest cloth in the State.
One day had just plowed through a
white oak stump in the way you speak
of, Colonel, but it was little too quick
for me. 1t came together before I was
out OF the way and nipped my trousers.
| felt mean, / can tell you, but put the
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
How a Street-Car Driver Changed q
800 Bill.

"Suppose you come across a good
many strange customers on your daily
journey ?" observed the reporter.
You bet [ do. Not only strange
customers but aggravating ones, also.
The change system reminds me of
trick / once played on man which cost
me years savings. He was tall, lank
individual, looking very much like a
Methodist parson. He got on Sixth
street carl q was driving them, and
offered the conductor 800 bill for his
fare. Haven'tyou got anything small
er !? asked my mate. No, my friend
said the lank individual. So he rode
that time for nothing, as the conductor
could not give change, and did not like
to put him off he looked so respectable,
and, beside, we did not have the rule
we have got now, Conductors not
forced to give beyond 81 change The
lank individual rode two or three times
on the car, and never had any money
except the 800 bill. The conductor
told me of it one night, and I got an
idea in my head. Jack says, IF
that person rides with us again and Of
fers the 500 bill you bring it to me.
I have little money saved, and 1 got a
friend to change 800 for me into 5 and
l0-cent pieces. These I put in bag
and placed in private locker had I'M
der the seat of the car. In day or two
my mate came in front and says, Tom.
gentleman's only got a 800 bill, can
you change it?' / gave the conductor
the key to the locker. had told him
about the silver, and my mate took "a
cents out of the bag for four fares which
were owing, and then handed the rest.
bag and AL, to the lank individual.
He vowed and protested he wouldn't
take such change, but my mate said he
knowed him and that he wasn't going to
play the $100-bill game on him any
longer, and SO the lank individual got
out, shaking his fist at my mate. with
the bag of silver tucked under his arm.
The next day I took off, and I went to
return the 800 to the bank. I handed
over the bill. The cashier takes it I'D.
looks at it, and says: Here, young
man, this won't Go, it's counterfeit If
you had seen my actions for the next
ten minutes you would most likely have
suggested straight walstcoat. [ have
never come across that lank Individual
since; if / do PHILADELPHIA Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14

men al shouted "Amep I" But. wheu
Berkeley found that the man he had
called q traitor was coming back 20
jamestown, he fled, and tried to rally a
few followers to support him against his
enemy. These friends having come to-
gether, as soon as he began to speak,
cried, "Baconl Baconl Bsconr p and
refused to listen. All this and great
deal more is related In the full history
Of jamestown.
When the troops arrived, the Govern
or was nowhere to be found, for he had
sailed down the James river, to be out of
harms way. In tumult of excitement
and rage the men set fire to the houses !;
and from the deck of his ship the craven
Governor looked on helplessly at the de-
struction of what to him had been lit
tie kingdom. It took but few hours to
completely destroy the little settlement;
the people then dispersed, and in pro-
cess of time built new houses for them
selves among the surrounding planta-
lions. 1t was, perhaps, on the whole,
well that jamestown was destroyed, Tor
the place was very unhealthy.
In this expedition Bacon brought ON
serious illness by exposure and fatigue:
he rapidly became worse and soon died.
and was deeply mourned by the people.
Gov. Berkeley staid in America sew
eral years after this, and when he was
recalled home, in dishonor, he was a
feeble old man, and he did not long sur
viye his disgrace. This old jamestown,
the first settlement in America, was
never rebuilt, and the church wall, COW
cred how with vines century old, is all
that remains to mark the spot where
once SO much that was stirring and in
teresting took place. ~ Doubleday,
in ST. Nicholas.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
How He Got His Wife.

In the days when love was young at
the McWilliams homestead, a rattle
snake from Cobham's Rocks led young
woman to choose husband from among
many suitors. A party of young people,
retiring from basket picnic .on the
island, stopped on the hillside to gather
wild flowers. Two young men and a
young woman sat down on large rock
to rest. In reaching out his hand to a
bed of moss, one of the young men
touched something cold and clammy.
Instinctively he knew that he had placed
his hand upon rattlesnake.
At the same instant the snake was dis
covered by the other young man and the
young woman. Both screamed and ran
from the spot. It was critical moment.
but the first young man proved equal to
the emergency. Knowing that if he
removed his hand the snake would sting
him to death, he pressed his arm down.
ward with all his strength, at the same
time reaching into his pocket for knife.
Before he could open the knife with his
teeth the snake had wound itself about
his arm.
Run and help him T" screamed the
young woman to the young man by her
side. eco kill the snake |"
The young man, however, had really
no desire to die, but remained at safe
distance and shouted Justify for help.
"Tllgo myself " exclaimed the young
woman, springing forward.
Her services were not needed. Pale
to the lips with the pain caused by the
Tightening folds of the snake, the young
man coolly cut off the snakes head with
the knife which he had opened between
his teeth. The snake was nearly six
feet in length and was so strong that the
young mans arm was black and blue
for month afterward.
The sequel need not be detailed. The
young woman accepted the brave young
man and both have lived happily to-
gether ever since; the snake, cured and
stuffed, occupies shelf in their parlor.
The other young man, driven desperate
by the young woman's choice, wandered
away westward. He is now serving out
term in the Kansas Legislature. Phil
0delpbiG Times.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
Astronomical PanicS.

An article under the above caption in
the Popular Science Monthly relates
incidents of the most thrilling character
which occurred in ancient times,
showing how showers of meteor
ic and explosive stones alarmed the in
habitants of India into worship of the
rocks which they thought had been
thrown by their offended deities in the
Himalaya mountains and how, in later
and civilized periods, such phenomena
rs the AURORA borealis, total eclipses,
comets and meteoric showers were
viewed as miraculous displays of divine
power and as forerunners of impending
disasters. Ii, says Mr.. Daniel Kirkwood,
the writer of the article, "panics of this
nature have ceased, the fact is due to
the ever advancing laws of physical
science.
One of the most noted eclipses in his
tory is that recorded by Herodotus.
which occurred 5S5 years before Christ,
1t put an end to the war between the
Modes and Syrians. A great battle was
i'll progress day was turned into night,
and the contending hosts at once laid
down their arms and fastened to con-
clude peace. .....
When the Persians besieged the city
of Larissa, but failed to capture it,
stricken by the darkness of a total
eclipse, they lost all courage, and their
city was taken. s.
During the total eclipse of the sun as
late as 1706, persons were seen IN the
city of Geneva PROSTATE on the ground
at prayers under the belief that the last
day had come.
The great star-shower of 1883 pro-
duced the widest CONSERVATION among
the plantation negroes of the South.
In former ages comets were regarded
as signs sent directly by the Deity to an
nounce coming wars and disasters. The
danger was estimated according to the
brilliancy or length of the tail of the
comet. The great comet which ap-
peared the year William the Conqueror
invaded England was regarded as q fore
runner of the conquest. ALI great comets
in ancient times caused the same super
stitious fears and dread of danger and
CONSERVATION. The alarm produced by
the fear that in 1882 Bidyl's comet was
to come into collision with the earth was
of different nature Astronomers knew
that the comet would not come within
millions of miles of the earth, although
it was known and stated that the nebu-
losity would include part of the earth's
orbit on a particular day. The latest
instance of supposed danger from comets
is that which was feared recently on
misapprehension of.something Mr.. Proc
fo, cold o1oo11t q LARGE comet that ia hx-
pected to come into our neighborhOod
after many years travel through space.
We have cited enough to show that for
many ages heavenly phenomena have
been held to mean danger and disaster
to the inhabitants of the earth. No
harm has ever come of it yet, so perfect
are the laws, and SO Interchangeable the
order, with which the "High and
Mighty Ruler of the Universe" guides
and governs all.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
A Child,s Notion About Thunder

1t is seldom that any but distant
rumbles of thunder are Neard in this
part of Nevada. The sharp, rafting
peals that rent the air yesterday were
therefore something new and astonish-
ing to most of the youngsters of the
city. Wholesome rushed for their homes
with eyes distended and hair flying, 9TH
ers darted forth into the open air and
began gazing wildly about to see what
had busted" One bright little fell
low, who was out on a porch watching
the descending hail as it ratified on the
fences and bounced upon ground, when
the first heavy crash came, rushed in
doors, crying, 90, ma, ma I! Who's
a-shooting
"God, my DEAR" quietly said the
mother.
"What did He do it for?"
"Well, / presume, to show us that
He is abroad in the storm-that He is
everywhere.
"Well-well,' cried the little fellow,
with eyes fairly popping from his head,
"Ill bet-l'n bet"
What, my dear?"
"Ill bet he busted His gun that
time - Virginia City Enterprise.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
Milk for Typhoid Fever.

Surgeon General Barnes, about three
years ago, heard of an allopathic physi-
clan in Virginia who, it is alleged, never
failed to cure typhoid fever. As there
were many patients in the United States
army dying with that disease, Gen.
Barnes concluded to visit the ancient
Virginia doctor and learn how he treated
his typhoid patients. When ne met the
old gentleman Gen. Barnes inquired !:
"What is the mode of treatment by
which you succeed p" "Why," replied
the. venerable physician, cts the sim
plest thing in the world. All you've got
to do is to get the patients stomach in
good order and then diet them on but
termilk: that's all. I never lose a pa
tent. if he isn't in collapsed condition
when I get to him." Surgeon General
Barnes tells me that he adopted the but
termilk treatment among the soldiers in
the army, and has found it most efica-
cious. It appears that some ten years
ago the medical scientists of France and
Russia compared notes as to the use of
plain sweet milk In the treatment of
their hospital typhoid patients, and con-
Cured In the decision that milk not only
is of wonderful efficacy in typhoid
cases, but in the treatment of fevers
generally. An eminent medical man,
professor in New York eclectic med
1cal college - DIR. Newton - informed
your correspondent few weeks before
he died (his death took place about
year ago. that he had found tc be SUBJ
stal,3ially true all that is set forth rela-
tive to plain sweet milk and buttermilk,
and that the latter acted like charm
in cases of nervous debility. It's great
blesslng-this discovery" said he.-
Baltimore Dag.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14

OYSTER SAUoE.-Scald the oysters.
then strain the liquor, and thicken with
q little Hour and butter, a small quantity
OF lemon juice and three tablespoonful
OF cream heat the oysters well In this
mixture, but do not let them boil.
CHEESE CREAM.-Put three pints Of
milk to half pint of cream, warm and
put In little rennet; keep it covered in
aWarm place TILT is curdled. then out It
into mold with holes in it and drain
about an hGtr. Serve with cream and
sugar.
MINT SAUCE. Pick, wash and cbon
tine some green spearmint: to two to-
ble-spoonfuls OF the minced leaves mt
eight spoonfuls of vinegar, adding lit
tie brown sugar. Serve cold. This
sauce is seldom used but with roast
lamb.
LOBSTER SAUCE. Take canned lob
sters and cut in small pieces make o
sauce with flour and butter, little milk,
a very small quantity of the essence of
anchovy. a very little mace. and pepper.
Add the sauce to the lobster; boil five
minutes, stirring all the time.
KENTIsH FRIrrRRs. Beat the whites
of three eggs and the yelks of six, with
half pound of -four, cupful of milk
and large teaspoonful of yeast put the
mixture into jug, cover it and set it by
the fire till the next day; then add to
the batter two large apples, chopped
| fine, and fry.
FRUIT CAKE.-Two cups of molasses,
two OF brown sugar, two of butter, one
of milk, five of -four, five eggs, one tea
| spoonful of saleratus cut up the butter
In the milk, warm the molasses, stir it
into the milk and butter, then stir in
the sugar and let # cool, then add the
eggs we'll beaten, one pound of raisins,
one of currants, half pound of citron !;
bake In slow oven.
OMELETTE. Break three eggs and
beat for one minute with half spoonful
of salt and fourth as much pepper !;
have your pan hot, with a tablespoonful
of melted butter in it pour in the eggs,
scatter over them three crushed square
crackers, and, when cooked sufficiently,
roll the omelette toward one side of the
pan by slipping fork under one side
and turning it over. Place the omelette
on a hot dish and serve at once.
GERMAN TRIF1E. Put one pint of
strawberries in the bottom of glass
dish. Sugar the fruit, put over it lay
er of macaroons, and pour over it Gus
tard, made with quart OF fresh milk
and the yelks of eight eggs beaten and
sweetened, and scalding hot. When
cold, place on the top the whites of the
eggs beaten to froth with little
sugar. The eggs may be ornamented
by beating currant Jelly with part of It
and putting it in alternate hills of white
and pink.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
TIE LITTLE FOLKS.
The sultan Of the East.

There was 3 Sultan Of the East
Who used to ride stubborn beast;
marvel Of the donkey-kind,
That much perplexed his owners mind
b turns he moved rod ahead,
Then backed 3 rod or so instead,
ana mus tns day would pass around,
The Sultan gaining little ground.
The servants on before would stray
And pitch their tents beside the wsy,
Aud pass the time as best they might
Until their master hove in sight
The Sultan many methods tried.
de cncked ana coaxed and spurs applied.
And stripped dozen trees, at least
OF braiicfes to persuade the beast.
But all his efforts Vent for naught:
No reformation could be- wrought,
Atlength before the palace gate
He cal ed the wise men Of the state,
And babe them now their skill display
By finding where the trouble lay.
With solemn looks and thoughts profound.
The men Of learning gathered round.
The beast was measured Ger with care;
They proved him by the plumb and square,
The compass to his ribs applied,
Aud every joint by rule was tried;
But nothing could the doctors find
To prove he differed from his kind.
Said they: /" Your Highnessi 1t appears
The beast is sound from hoof to ears;
No outward blemishes we see
To limit action fair and free.
In view Of this, the fact is plain
The mischief lies within the brain.
Now, we suggest, to stop his tricks,
A sail upon his back yo1 FIX,
OF goodly size to catch the breeze,
And urge him forward where you please"
The Sultan well their wisdom praised,
Two masts upon the beast were raised,
And, sehooner-rigged from head to tail,
With haliards, spanker, boom and sail,
In proper shape equipped was he,
As though designed to sail the seal
And when the Sultan next bestrode
That beast upon lengthy road,
With fayoring winds that whistled strong
And swiftly urged the craft along,
The people cleared the track with speed;
And old and young alike agreed
4 stranger sight could not be found,
From side to side the province round.
Palmer Goa. in st. Nicholas.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
HOUsEKEEPERS, HELPS.

FISH SAUCE. Boil some cream, thick
en- it with flour and butter, then let it
simmer till smooth add little walnut
or mushroom catchup. If cream is scarce,
use the yelk of an egg and milk.
MAoARoNI- in milk till tender
and season with pepper and salt, and
add milk enough to make three pints,
then add grated cheese and butter until
it makes thick mass. Serve hot.
SPINACH. washed and picked,
place In sauce pan just large enough
to hold it, sprinkle with little salt, and
cover close. Shake well while on the
fire. When done add piece of butter
and tablespoonful cream,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
rARLEAux.


The sun Of Austerlitz had set
Behind the pantry door;
Napoleon sheathed his cleaning BLADE
And laid 1t on the door;
The Iron Mask took of bis wig
It hurt his ear, he said;
Aud Queen Elizabeth removed
Three-querters Of her head.
The next thing was Ubiquitous,
Which seemed to please them an:
And then we played The Prodiga1,
And then tableaud The Fail;
But Snipes, who took The Serpent's part,
Got hungry, probably;
At least be ate The Apple up
And quar- eled with The Tree.
A larky spirit was abroad,
Which spoiled the serious things,
And led the girls to gigg.e at
Apollyon's awful wings;
And when the anal scene was set
Of Wary Stuart's death,
Poor Mary was in such gale
She couldn't catch her breath.
A gloomy court, a headsnlan's block
AL hung with weeds of woe,
An executoner in black,
And tapers burning low;
A weird, funereal, solemn scene,
Impressive, gloomy, dark;
With ell the tragic retinue
Just bursting for lark.
Too bad but Mary looked so sweet,
And had such pretty hair,
The headsman leaned upon his az
And kissed her plump and square;
Then Perky Jones, the cowled monk,
So grim, and stern, and slow,
Turned somersaults across the block
And spoiled the whole tableau.
Then buzz Of talk, and change Of seats,
And laughter's merry peal,
Broke up tho show, and all the boys
Took partners for reel.
And we at Jones' Corners think
That trying to be jolly
Is better, thirtt en- months year,
Than limp, @stheti, folly.
he Century.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14
Seth Green on Fish.

To a gentleman who remarked upon
the bad luck he had in trolling in the
st. Lawrence for pickerel.
Seth Green said: "The pickerel In
that river around Alexandria bay see SO
many of those spoons that they know
the names of all the spoon makers.
People should get off the beaten track.
When I am fishing for pickerel my daily
take runs from sixty to 125."
"Do fish sleep?'
Green-"No, sir. I have had an
aquarium in dim light by my bed for
years. Always when 1 opened my eyes
the fish were in motion. Another point
about fish is that they cannot shut their
eyes"
"What is the average of a trout?"
Green-tAbout fifteen years.
''Do all fish float after they die?"
Green-"N Not one in ten"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14

The glory Of man is fading flower.
A pastor in Massachusetts,, having
moved away, declined for number Of
years to take letter of dismissal to an.
other church. The present pastor,
lately from q Presbyterian pulpit. in
reading over the list of absentees at q
meeting for business, astonished the
church by the question: "Who is this
-? Does anybody know anything
about him or where he has gone Pr
Chicago Adpance.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14

STRONG superlative: "Yes, sir, said
the Kentuckian, 81 never was In o more
tantalizing position In my life. There
were three of us, with pack of cards in
the room and not deuced cent in the
crowd. -BrGdford Star.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14

string on the ponies, and, if you'll be-
ieve 1t, they just snaked that stump
out, roots and all. Something had to
o;vo. won know. D
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-07-14

VERMONT has $4,000 farms, of which
only ninety-seven contain l, 900 acres.