Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-01
MARK TwAIN's EXERCISE.
Eo'c He Came Near Rom0hing 1t in q Netc
York Forest.

H0'c He Came Near RoM1I.ing 1t in Netc
YorA; Forest.
[Elmira Advertiser
Mark Twain went to Elmira last sum-
mer to find quiet place to write. He
became somewhat out of health, and one
day recently he was interrupted by the
family physician, who called to make
friendly visit. Into his sympathetic ear
was poured the tale of the humorist's woes,
and after q moments consultation he re-
marked: "Clemens, what you need is ex-
erciser'
With look of gentle reproach, which
soon changed to anxious innocence, the
hero of many an experience of roughing
it Tin pictures). and tramps at home and
abroad ION paper), made reply: swell,
that's all right, that's all right, but who's
going to do it for me? You see," he con-
tinued, ''the men on the place are all busy,
and the children amt big enough to &C
complish anything, and"
'sYou must do it yourselfr' was the pro-
fessional stop put to his demur.
do it myself? How in thunder do you
expect-why, what can do? There amt
good poker player on this hill, and the
hammock broke down yesterday, so can't
use that"
mo, no. interrupted the doctor, ''you
must have active, exertive exercise; some
thing that looks like work, you know!
You can walk down town or swing dumb
bells, or chop wood, Or
Hold on, you've struck it," exclaimed
Mark. cpl chop woodr'
"Best thing you can do" said the doctor,
as he took his leave. cit brings into play
so many varied muscles, expands the chest,
deepens the inspiration and superinduces
more bountiful oxygenation by the beau
tiful process of eudosmosis and exosmosis,
and hence the red corpuscles-
Here, have cigar" said Twain, push
ing box before him, 'sand let up on
Noses"
"You mustn't smoke, you know" the doc
tor said, as he picked out weed.
"Oh, no, I've stopped smoking" said
Twain, as he carefully placed sheet of
copy paper over three old stamps and a
briar pipe; Il found out that it disagreed
with my family long ago."
The doctor departed, and Clemens, with
the glow of renewed health already shining
in anticipation Oh his brow, took one Of
the farm hands from the harvest field and
sent him to town after ia new az. He re-
turned with the tool, bright bladed, sharp
edged. Finally, thinking he had the hang
of the thing, Clemens had the man hitch
up and drive up the road about a mile to
a piece of woods. The members of
the family went with him 10 look for flow
ers and berries while he chopped. Arriv-
ing at the desired spot, he carefully took
out the ak, unwrapped the old coat, and
laid the tool down beside the stump of a
| TbA
picked one or two flowers, and then has
tened back, as they heard him shouting
their names. GIVE done enough for to-
day." he said, as they came near. They
saw four blistsrs on his hands and a piece
of new leather shining on one of his boots,
but nowood lying around. However, they
said nothing, and went home, tho hired man
carrying the AZ.
That evening, sitting on the piazza, ap-
plying arnica to his hands, he said: ''It's
hard work, but I'm going to keep it up.
It's splendid exercise, and just see how it's
built up other great men! Why, you know
Greeley prolonged his life many years by
ehopping at Chappaqua, and Gladstone is
alive yet and making things hot in Egypt
only by reason Of the beneficial results of
an hours chopping every day. You wait
Tug Wilson and row Courtney and out-talk
Beecher.''
All this was several weeks ago. Only q
few days since Clemens noticed his new az
lying where he had left it on his return
from his initial trip, it's brightness changed
to reproachful rust. Conscience smote
him. He would resume exercise. He
would attack anew the monarchs of the
| Ia
boldly marched for the same piece of
woods and began operations on the old
pine. But few minutes had elapsed be-
fore a six-footer appeared before him, and
the following eolloquy, ensued:
Nov you skin out o. here, young man!
These is my woods, and you'll learn to let
folkses property alone after Pm through
with We. Git nowr'
nary bead of sweat, Twain glanced dubi-
ously at the enraged bucolic, and said:
"Well, wh-what seems-to be-the mat
ter with your
Matter, I'll show ye! Tryin' to steal
my woods
"But my good man, don't want your
wocdv'
"Then, what are you cutting it for?"
'uy3 AOA SAOASASO3 oIoV ale AA0 AOC-
tor said"
'Oh, that's too thin! Exercise! Now
with renewed energy) you get right out of
here! Right out" and the farmer made
threatening advances.
"But-but- here, my good man,
you don't know who am. You are talk
ing to a"
Yes I do know. You're that Clemens.
Eve heard about your being about four
weeks ago, and I've had my eye on you
ever since! Now, (picking up pine root)
you git.''
Clemens took up the AK, cast a wither-
ing look on the bucolic, and sadly climbed
out of the wood, over the fence, and out of
danger, the voice of the enraged land
owner sounding in his ears for some dis
lance down the road.
WdtrIH,OEaNt.
Now that David Davis has retired from
the matrimonial arena, the New York Cos
sips have again seized upon Mr.. Tilden.
and are working up his sometime neglect
ed case for all it is worth. A New York
special says very few people know of it yet,
but it is an undoubted fact that as soon as
Ex-Gov. Tilden's famous residence in Ora
mercy park is completed a young, beauti-
full, and highly cultivated lady will assume