Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1882-04-07

Iinn county bank" is the new nam
adopted for II. DeGraw's bank a
Brookfeld.
1t don't pay to Olga ten cent hol
for planting a dollar tree.
Hook once said Of bald man: al
used to cut hair, but now his hair cut
him.,
The Japanese name for a newspape
is "shinbum," which makes Japanes
newspaper men "shinbummers."
"T'here's music in the herr sorrow
fully exclaimed The young husband, a
he reached for the paregoric bottle.
Scientific mammas are feeding thei
daughters on phosphorus, because it i
a good thing for making matches.
The cat is the great American prim;
donna. If bootjacks were bouquets
her nine lives would be strewn witt
roses.
Aunt Chloe observes: ga husban'.
mighty handy thing to hev roun':
house. an mighty com 'foting fur body
as has sense"
Competition has forced the price o.
false teeth down so low that it isn't rea.
ly worth body's while to cut her nat.
ural ones.
Gladstone says the fear of becoming
ridiculous is the best guide in life
Ladies who follow the fashion are with.
out guide.
Hundreds of kilograms are beng re-
celved at the White House, urging the
president not to sign the Chinese hill.
They come from all parts Of the cOun-
try except the Pacific coast.
A man by the name ofBishop, while
tooling with, as he supposed, an empty
pistol, shot his sister in the ankle a few
days ago, in Dunklin.. county
Hon. William M. Harkey, prom
inent citizen Of Dunklin county, died
on the 10 inst In 1880 he was elected
to represent Dunklin county in the state
legislature.
City Treasurer McCullah's annual
report will show that the total revenues
collected during the past year. $26,2I1
So and the total disbursements 20, 366.
whats the difference" asked the
teacher in arithmetic, "between one
yard and two yards 2" "a fence said
Tommy Beals. Then Tommy sat on
the rule fourteenmintes.
Johnny" said mother to her little
boy, you must not interrupt me when
| am talking with ladies. You must
wait till we stop, and then you car
talk: but you never stop replied
the boy.
In Virginia, when a man is convicted |
Of burglary tor the third time, the law
him confirmed in the bad |
maitland relieves the community of its
fear by sending him to the penltentiary
for life. 1t is good law.
Two well-dressed ladies were eyamrn-
ing statue Of Angromeda, labeled
. Executed in terra Gotta Says one.
Where is that" Il am shure don't
< now" replied the other,r but pity
the poor girl, wherever it was.
The Maryville Masonic lodges have
appointed committees to confer with
he county court on the subject of hav-
ng the cornerstone of the new court
louse laid with Masonic ceremon-
es.
B. X. Bruce, son of J. J. Bruce of
Mo. and nephew of ex-
enator Bruce Of Mississippi, who is
low student of the Kansas university
as been elected critic of the Orphelian
terary society of that institution-the
rst colored student to receive the hon. l
r of any office in the society.
Whitehall Times: Once upon time
wealthy English land owner promised
is daughter as much land as dozen of
er hats would cover. The maiden
orderd twelve new head {
ears, each covering a borough. Her :
.ther looked at his daughters gains II
nd then at one of her hats and remark,
/: "A hat like that gains boroughs.- ,
[oral-No moral is called for.
The Mountain Prospect, a neat little '
ght page, four column paper, publish /
by S. T. Talcott at Mountain
rove, Wright county, is on our table. t
the fact that the editor de- v
ares that he is afflicted with pneumonia e
arrhea and piles it is a creditable first II
tempt. --Steelville Mirror. a
Judge R. A. DeBolt returned home d
st night, from his southern trip. He r
mt clear down into the Florida pen "
'uala, and his description Of the tropi- ri
| fruits and vegetables that has COM a
sed his diet the past month, would a
axe the mouth of a citizen of the O
gid north. water In contemplation. A
e went to GAINESVILLE to see Messrs. fl
emlee and Lilly, but they had left
ere on a visit to a country town
v days before. From their landlord,
wever, he learned that the health of