Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-06-24
PHILOSOPHER BILL.
horalizes on the Advantages Of
Poverty.
The Girl With the Latest French Novel and
the Morning Headache-A Little Work
the Best TOnic-The Young Man
With His Eyes Cast Abroad
Coles Family, Etc.


OF the wool this evening and as the
children were settin around / noticed
that their hilarity sOrter weakened as
they pursued this new and monotonous
business. BY and by little Jessie began
to nod and l picked the little thing and
laid her on the bed. Before long Carl's
fingers seemed to get tender and ever
and anon he would eXclaim 'tOh!
shucks," as mean old burr would
stick in his sore finger. One of the
girls wanted to know if the wool fac
tories didn't have machinery to take
out the burrs. ayes, my DEAR" said l,
but when they buy lot of wool all
baled up they don't know how many
burrs and how much Is in it, and so
they won't give you but Is cents a
pound for il Just as it come off the sheep,
but lift has been washed and picked they
will give you 81 cents-so we must pick
il. III | had known what know now
wouldn't have troubled you, for 1t
don't pay to wash and pick it." This
little lot Of wool weighed, before washing
50 pounds and now it weighs only 10. A
sheep carries nearly Us much
dirt and oil in his fleece as he does
wool. But this is only little job com
pared with what your grandmother
used to do. Night after night she had
to pick the seed from the cotton, for
there were no cotton gins when She
was child.
"GoodneSs gracious" said one of the
girls, "ain't glad L wasen't a child
them =,
"Oh, it was all right, my children"
said /, for you see the girls didn't have
any novels and literary trash to read
| then, and so they never considered 1t a
! hardship to set around the fire after
supper aud pick cotton and tell stories
| of their own, but now the girls haven't
| time for such things, for these novels
| have got to be read if its takes all
| night TO do it. A young lady is not con-
| sidered educated for society unless she
/ can show familiarity with every love
! sick romance and every wild eXtrava-
CANT, unnatural story that comes out.
They must be ready to criticise and
talk rapOdies and eXpatiate over the
plot and the hero and heroine, even II
they have to sleep till after breakfast
to make up for the time lost the night
before in perusing such tom-fOOlerles.
overheard one girl ask another girl the
other day if she had read MIR. Burnett 8
last lie, and she said, "Oh, yes, OF
course, and Pm reading a splendid
tissue of falsehOOd now bya German,
and published by George Munroe. lt
is the second wife and oh! it Is perfectly
lovely" Jesse. And here she goes
and there she goes, one after another
story or lie, or whatever you call 'em, Is
devoured day after day and night after
night by the modern female novel gor-
mandiZer without any regard to conse-
uuences, whether moral or immoral,
whether coarse or refined, until the
mind becomes diseased and morbid, and
Graves that sort of food and no other,
lust like child eating green apples
and chalk, and slate pencils, and chew
ing gum, and pickle and pie, until they
don't want biscuit and butter any more.
There's too much literature nowadays,
and it's no sign of good tinies that this
sort of trash Is so cheap. l wish it was
so high that poor folks couldn't buy IT,
Some novels are instructive anu hstorl-
cal, or give you a good idea oil LIE as IL
is or likely to be, but most OF 'em are
written to make sensation and excite
the passions, and they unit glrl Ior
the duties Of life, and her home seems
mighty common, and she lounges
around wondering and wanlnS ior
some big thing to happen that amt
going to happen, and If 1t did happen
wouldn't make her happier. IN
tell YOU what is fact, the girls VINO
took away off yOnder for happiness are
like the boy who tried to find the END
of a rainbow every time he saw one so
as to get bag of money. Inc surest
place know Of is right at home In the
family circle and while doing reasona-
bile portion of domestic work. L
woulden't work all the time by no
means unless was obliged to, but L
would mix I'D some frOlic and music
and read some. standard books and
maoszines and newspapers, but | would
make home the big thing, and stand
nm for II. and talk. for ID, for the poet
never wrote a truer thing than when ne
said, "There's no place like home"
THE YOUNG MAN LOOKING ABROAD
When a young mans mind goes 10
roaming and foraging around ana ne
dreams of Texas or California or the
SILVER mines in Mexico, he is in bad
condition, reminds me Of these Office,
seekers who are always waiting ana
a longing and q schemelng 10 get
an office. II they would undertake
some regular business and work as
hard to make it pay as they do 10 get
Office. they would soon be comforta-
bIe and q heap happier. The young
men nowadays are too restless ana TOO
ambitious. They want to get rich or
lannon's all of sudden, They dom
want 10 knuckle down to hard work or
humble work. They have too great a
horror of being poor. Ii II wasent TOT
fear ofthe the law some OF 'eh Woulu
steal rather than be poor, ana soAe vi
'em do it anyhow. Says L. Sooe, you
are mighty poor man; now, wan. " y
know if you are happy: oquIe,
saws he, ppm leetle too dog1n poor 70
be bappy-just a leetle- but an' 70
say unhappy or miserable. My , oln
oman has got six mighty nne httte
children, eff / do say 1t, and I'd IKE u
fix 'em up sorter decent ike, so they
could 90 to meetin, anu ABOUT any
about, YOU know, but I've had 10 rem!
land ever since the war broke up anu
Tye had to run il in 3 cotton, ana It's
been more nip than tuck anu
last wear the. drout burst
I'd me clean open. i couldn't get any
more credit, and If we didn't like 10 per
| ish to death, in the name OF the Loru
This last winter, I wish ] may be hung
on Humans gallus-we did those"
mHow much money would it take t.
make vol happy, CobeT
@Weil, squire / don't know; rail!
don't, but / reckon as how a hundre'
dollars would be as much as we eoul'