The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-12-15

A militia regiment from Worcester
being upon a visit to Hartford, Mark
Twain's home, he was put forward as
the spokesman to welcome, officially,
the soldier guests of the city, and this
is what he said: His Honor, the May
or, deputies me to speak for him in an
swer to the toast to the city of Hart
ford. He is in politics, delicate stu
alton at all times, where exceeding eau
ton is necessary. / admire his pru-
dence az much as / admire my own in
trepidity, because, although he is not
willing to answer for Hartford and to
indorse it, / am. 1 will back up Hart
ford in everything else if he will be re-
sponsible for the weather. Now, as L
am talking for Hartford, 1 will talk
earnestly but modestly.
There is much here to see-the State
house, Colts factory and where the
Charter Oak was. And we have an an
tiquity here-the East Hartford bridge.
Now, let me beseech you, don't go away
without seeing that tunnel on stills.
You may think it trifle, but go on and
see it, Think what it may be to your
posterity, generations hence, who come
here and say, There's that same old
bridge 1t is coeval with the flood and
will be coexistent with the millennium.
Hartford has q larger population than
any other city except Worcester, and it
il the honestest city in the word. We'll,
that will do for Hartford. will rest
my case there.
When asked to respond said would
he glad to, but there were reasons why
l could not make speech. But L
would talk. / never made a speech
without getting together q lot of sta
tistics and being instructive. The man
who starts In upon a speech without
preparation enters upon sea Of in
felicities and troubles. L had thought
of a great many things that / intended
to say. In fact, nearly all Of these
things / have heard said here tonight
/ had thought of. Get man away
down here on the list and he starts out
empty. l was going to say something
about prominent people, and about the
Foot Guards, who had seen everything
that has happened for Ill years. Five
years thcy fought for King George and
100 for liberty. They fought Ill years
and never lost man. And the enemy
never lost man. What / mean, is to
compliment the Foot Guards, and
hope | have done SO. One reason l
didn't like to come here to make pre-
pared speech was because | have sworn
off. | have reformed. / would not
make prepared speech without statis-
tics and philosophy. The advantage OF
-
when you are ready and stop when you
get through. If unprepared, you are
all ut sea, YOU don't know where you
are. thought to achieve brevity, but
was mistaken. A man never hangs on
SO long on his hind legs as when he
don't know when to stop.
/ once heard of man who tried to
be reformed. A number of strangers
sat in hotel parlor. One sat off to
one side and said nothing. Finally all
went out except one man and his dunn
my. Then the dummy touched this
man on the shoulder and said:
II think have s-s-s-e (whistle) cen
you before"
What makes you whistler" asked
the other man.
AZ used to s-s-s-s-tammer, and the
d-d-d-d (whistle) octor told me when l
w-w-w-w-w (whistle) wanted tito speak
and st-t-t-t-ammered to whistle. l did
Odd (whistle) id whistle, and it c-c-c-
ured me-"
SO it is with man who makes an I'M
prepared speech He tries to be brief
and it takes him longer won't detain
you. We welcome you with cordial
hospitality, and if YOU remain we will
try and furnish better weather to-mor-
row.-VorceSter SPY.