Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1882-05-31
He ExpIa ned what He Would

advertising their business.
He EXpIa ned What He Would
Do.
1t was in the smoking car on the
New York Central There was one
chap who was clustering and telling
OF how many duels he bad fought, and
behind him sat a small man reading q
magazine.
'Sirl' said the big man, as he wheeled
around, what would you do if challeng-
ed?'
Refuse was the quiet reply.
'Ah. | thought as much Refuse
and be branded as acowardl What if a
| gentleman offered you the choice of q
duel or public horse whipping-then
whatD
I'D take the whipping
All thought So thought so
from the locks of you. Suppose, sir,
you had foully slandered me?'
4 never SANDER
Then, sir. suppose | had cody and
deliberatly insulted you; what would
you do?'
I'd rise up this way, put down my
book this way, and reach over like this
and take him by the nose as take you,
and give it three quarter twist-just
| sol
When the little man let go Of the big
man s nose, the man with the white
hat on began to cruch down to get
away from the bullets, but there was
no shooting The big man turned red
then pale, then looked the little man
over and remarked:
'Certainly-of course-that's it ex-
sctly!'
And then the conversation turned
on the general prosperity of the coun
try.-Detroit Free Press
Pecuna is the greatest and best rem
edy | have ever used Am well.
JAS Fitzgerald, Pittsburgh Pa.
1t is said that the Australian colonies
arc the richest, per capita, in the
world. Among their possessions are
SO,000,000 sheep, to a population of
only 100000 souls.
Ginghams will be the style this
summer for school girls and house
wear. There are many handsome pat
terms, and when nicely made up are
pronounced just lovely
Not drink, not sold in bar-rooms,
but a reliable non-alcoholic tonic
medicine, useful at all times, and in
all seasons, is Browns Iron Bitters.
She decorated her room with bric-a-
brac and pictures, and perched her
husbands photo on the topmost nail.
Than sat down to admire her work,
and blissfully remarked: Now every
thing is lovely, and the goose hangs
high
In Western city a new hotel was
recently opened. The barroom was
gorgeous in barroom mgnificence, and
when it was completed the privilege
of taking the first drink was deemed
so desirable that twenty dollars was
offered and payed for it.
The center of population in the
United States in 1880 was on the
eastern shore of Maryland, about %
miles from Baltimore and near the 80
parellel of latitude Now it is near
the village of Taylorsville, in Ken
lucky, about eight miles by south of
Cincinnati Westward the Star of
Empire makes its way
The Cambria Iror Company Mt
Johnstown Pa, owns over so 900
acres of land, and the main buildings
alone of their plant if SCI in straight
line, would make a continuous build
ing 8, 346 feet long Then they own
the Gautier steel works besides, which
cover about six acres, have at Johns
town and Connellsville $40 ovens, and
make their own coke.
Our lawyers, merchants, bankers
and business men generally, are warn
ed to beware of sleek-tongued old
gentleman of the celtic race, who is
going around taking orders for
State gazetteer or neigborhood puff
book. Those in the vicinity already
caught, can warn their neighbors and
friends This one does not make war
on the farmers.
If you are deaf. ears run, and have
catarrh, take Peruna / have tried it.
c. D. Wiley, Houghton, Pa.
John Quincy Adams, in his long SER
vice in Congress, was never known to
be late One day the clock struck,
and member said to the Speaker:
1T is time to call the House to order
No. said the Speaker. Mr.. Adams is
not in his seat yet At this moment
Mr.. Adams appeared. He was pune
tual, but the clock was three minutes
fast.
A village school olmaster, examining
reading class, asked the head OF the
class, What is artificial manure y
Don't know said he, and the same
reply was given by four other boys;
but precocious youngster not in his
teens, was equal to the occasion, and
said, please sir. it's the stuff they
grow artificial flowers in
Mamma, said wee pet, they
sung Il want to be an angel in Sun
day-School this morning, and ! sung
with Them why, Nellie!' exclaim-
ed mamma, could you keep time
with the rest p Il guess | could
proudly answered little Nellie; L
kept ahead of them most all of the
way through
A few years ago and English artist
who was also physician suggested
wicker baskets as desirable substitutes
for coffins, and he startled London by
giving garden party at which the
proposed baskets in various styles
were arranged for exhibition. But. al
| +honrb Eoula nd thuc GAINED the lead