The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-11-14

uSo's o"u So'nC ~ Oil pepper III uiS
other hand. and l asked pa in low,
bass tones, if he felt as though he
wanted to turn back, or if he felt as
though he had nerve enough (" gu
ahead and take the degree. warned
him that it Was full of dangers, as the
goat was loaded for beer, and told
him he yet had time to retrsce his
steps if he wanted to. He said he
wanted the whole business. and We
could GO ahead with the menagerie.
Then l said TO pa that if he had de-
cided to 60 ahead, and not blame us
for the consequences. to repeat after
nae the following: "Bring forth the
Royal Bumper, and let him Bump"
Pa repeated the words, aud my chum
sprinkled the kyan pepper ON the
goats mOustache. and he sneezed once
and looked sassy, and then he seen the
lager beer goat raring up, and he
started for it, just like COW catcher,
and blated. Pa is real fat. but he
knew he had got hit, and he grunted
and said,
'HEI.Ls FIRE, WHAT YOU BOYS DOM ?
and then the goat gave him another
degree. and pa pulled off the towe;
and got up and started for the stairs,
and SO did the goat, and ma was at
the bottom of the stairs listening, and
when / looked over the bannisters pa
and ma and the goat were all in a
heap. and pa was yelling murder, and
ma was screaming: fire, aud the goat
was blating. and sneezing, and bunt-
ing, and the hired girl came into the
hall and the goat took after her and
she crossed herself just as the goat
struck her and said, 'Howly mother,
protect me! and went down stairs
the way we boys slide down hill. with
both hands on ourself, and the goat
rared up and bIated, and pa and ma
went into their room and shut the
door, and then my chum and me
opened the front door. and drove the
/; out.The minister, who comes to see
ma every three times a week, was Lst
ringing the bell and the goat thought
ne wanted to tie nishiated, too, and
gave him one for luck, and then went
down the sidewalk, blarting aud
sneezing, and the minister came in the
parlor and said he WAS stabbed, and
then pa came out of his roOn
WITH HIS sUsPENDERs HANGING
and be didn't know the minister was
there, and he sand cuss words, and ma
cried and told pa he would go TO hell
sure. and pa said he didn't care, he
would kill that knssid goat afore he
went. and told pa the minister was
in the parlor. and he and ma went
down and said the weather was pro-
pitious for a revival, and il reemed as
though an outporing of the spirit WAS
about TO be vouchsafed to His people,
and none of them sot down but ma,
cause the goat didn't hit her. and
while they was talkin' relidgiD with
their mouths, and kussin' the goat in
wardly. my chum and me adj 'arned
the lodge, and went and stayed with
him all night. and [ hain't been home
since. But | don believe pa W II lick
me, cause he said he would not hold
us responsible for the consequences.
He ordered the goat hisself. and We
filled the order, don't yon see? Well,
l guess L will 60 and sneak in the
back way and find out from the hired
girl how the land lays. She won't go
back on me, cause the goat wasn't
loaded for hired girls. She just hap.
pened to get in at the wrong time.
Good bye, sir. Remember and give
your goat kyan pepper in your
lodge"
As the boy went away, and skipped
over the back fence, the grocery man
said to his brother Odd Fellow, eff
that boy don't beat the devil, then /
never seen one that did. The old man
ought to hive him sent to she lunatic
asylum. Peck.
= salt Is a great art In do ttesrioht thing