The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-12-15
A Desperate Situation.

"My dear" exclaimed Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, dropping his razor and examin-
ing his chin with starting eyes. "my
dear, bring me some court-plaster,
quick! I've ploughed off half my chin"
Let me see!' demanded Mrs, Spoop-
cndyke, bobbing up and fiuttering
around her husband. Great gra-
cious. what cut! Wait minuter'
and she shot into the closet and out
again.
"Quickr' roared Mr.. Spoopendyke.
I'm bleeding to death! Fetch me
that court-plasterr'
"Oh, dearr' moaned Mrs Spoopen-
dyke. Il put it-oh, where did 1
put it?"
bod CAST the puttyr' yelled Mr..
Spoodendyke, who had heard his wife
imperfectly. What dye think this is,
q crack in the WALTZ Got some sort of
a notion that there's draught through
hereP Court plaster, Ttell you! Bring
me some court-plaster before pull out
the side of this house and get some
from the neighborsr'
Just then it occurred to Mrs. Spoop-
endyke that she had put the plaster in
the clock. ~
"Here it is, dearr' and she shipped
off q piece and handed it to him.
Mr.. Spoopendyke put it on the end
of his tongue, holding his thumb over
the wound. When it was thoroughly
wetted it stuck fast to his finger, while
the carnage ran down his chin. He
jabbed away at the cut, but the plaster
hung to his digit until finally his pa
tience was thoroughly exhausted.
whats the matter with the measly
businessp" he yelled. ''Where'd We
buy this plaster? Come off, dod CAST
YEP and as he plucked it off his finger
it grew to his thumb. "Stick, will yep''
he squealed, plugging at the cut in his
chin. leave 60 that thumbr' and he
whirled around on his heel and pegged
at it again. ''Why don't We bring me
some court-plaster?' he shrieked, turn
ing on his trembling wife. "Who
asked We for leach? Bring me some
thing that knows thumb from
chimp and he planted his thumb on the
wound and screwed it around vindic-
lively. This time the plaster let go and
slipped up to the corner of his mouth.
"Now it's all right, DEAR" smiled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to secure
peace in the family. ..It's all right"
Think it is. do yep raved Mr..
Spoopendyke, with q fearful grin.
maybe you're under the impression
that this hole in my visagc was meant
to succumb to the persuasion of bit
of plaster! Come off! Let 60 that
MOUTH" and as he gave it wipe it
stuck to the palm of his hand as
though it had been born there.
LET me try" suggested Mrs Spoop-
endyke; II know how to do it."
''Then why didn't We do it first?"
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke. what did
ye want to wait until I'd lost three gal
Ions of gore forp Oh, you know how
to do it! You only want linen back
and a bottle of mucilage up your side
to be country hospital. Stick! bod
CAST YEP and he clapped the wrong
hand over his jaw. '.I'll hold We there
till We stick, if l hold We till my wife
learns something's and Mr. Spoopen-
yke pranced up and down the room
with face indicative of stern deter
mination.
"Let me see, DEAR" said his wife,
approaching him with a smile, and
gently drawing away his hand she deft-
ly adjusted another piece of plaster.
THAT was my piece after all, "growl-
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke. cycling the. job
and glaneing at the palm of his hand
to lind his piece of plaster gone. "You
always come in after the funeral"
II guess you'll find your piece stick
inc in the other hand, dear" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, pleasantly. asa.
"Of course you can tell" snorted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, verifying his wife's
assertion with glance. "1f 1 had your
sight and pack of cards, I'd hire q
shot-tower and set up for an astrono-
merr' and Mr. Spoopendyke. who evil.
IDENTIFY meant astrology. wore that piece
Of blood-stained court-plaster on his
hand all day long, rather than admit,
by taking it off, that his wife had ever
been right in anything. - Brooklyn
Eagle.