Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-10
FACETIE.


ON ADsALOM THoMPSoN's VEST.
Then he ran to his parent stern and told,
And the parent stern replied:
There amt no harm in vest; slide out"
But the lad refused to slide.
"There amt no harm in a vest, I know"
And his eye flashed bright that minute,
"But isn't it dangerous, dad," he asked,
"When Absalom Thompson's in lt?"
When the Indians go on a Staying
party, they get out their runners.
Regular rehearsals have been recon-
mended for new book canvassers.
Bob Ingerson says that it was drink
ing hotel coffee which first made him
an atheist.
You might as well try to strike a
light on block of ice as to do business
without advertising,
When married woman buys a PUG
dog for low price she gets bargain
and her husband gets something -
boot.
Virginia is getting more than her
wont of snow. This IS the first real in
dication of the growing Northern feel
ing said to be noticed there.
Miss Lisetta Reist. of London, lately
deceased, left money to be used forever
IN sprinkling Tower street hill with sand,
TO prevent horses from slipping.
Anxious small boy s.Ma, where did
| chuck my skates after the ice broke up
last spring. Bridget, do YOU know
wherein thunder my sled is?''
'Wen, Miss said knight of the
birch rod, 'tcan you decline a kiss?''
eyes, sir,'' said the girl, dropping =
perplexed courtesy, Il can, but hate
to most plaguily.''
Stanley says the American Nation
could be set down in the heart of Africa
and find itsele lost Our lightning-rod
peddlers would open communication
pretty quick.
.'What earthly use is it, exclaimed
languid Washington swell the other
morning, ''our twying to be awisto-
cwatic, monarchial and that sort of
thing, when q Senator of the United
States eats peanuts while riding in the
street cars. We're nothing but dim'd
horrid republic, after all.
Little six-year-old was taking his
first lesson in addition, and when the
teacher asked him, elf were to give
you two cats and another nice ladJ gave
you two more, how many cats would
you have?' he quickly replied, ..Why,
pretty soon l wouldn't have any, for
my mamma would break their necks
with the broom. She don't like cats"
l-NoTristoacn Herald.
No wonder man hates to have his
picture taken. When he gets seated
the photographer tells him to look per-
fectly natural. So the fellow makes a
desperate effort to twist his face into its
natural expression. The effort gener-
ally results in an expression like unto
that OF mailman trying to look cross
eyed and plan murder at the same
time, and when he sees the picture he
thinks that if it looks natural he must
be too MORALLY homely to have his pic
ture lying around. And he doesn't
submit to the process again in hurry.
A well dressed Galveston gentleman
found himself in very embarrassing
situation yesterday. He had left his
money at home, and not nickel or a
car ticket could he find anywhere in
his clothing. He was about to leave
the car, when perfect stranger with a
sinister cast of countenance rendered
the gentleman nickel, who gladly ac-
cepted it and dropped it into the box'
The gentleman then shook his unknown
benefactor by the hand, thanking hirl
for the confidence and accommodation.
and asking for his address SO as to re-
turn the money. '.Never mind" re-
sponded the generous man, fiercely,
''it's counterfeit, anyhow. Tho
street car company will make that hell
hound Of a driver redeem it. They
viii dock his wages. I've got no spite
at you. He is the scoundrel am after,
He has trified with the affections of my
sister, but this will show him what sor;
of man am when my blood is up."- :.
Galveston Neacs. -.....s ,- 4,sss.,.syy''--Tt