Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1882-05-31
SELECT.
THE SHAMS OF SOCIETY.
"This world is all feeting show
For mans delusion piyenp
n. Y. Observer

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it was rudely dispelled by the receipt
this evening by mail of circular let
ter. OF the shams and humbug, the
hollow deceit and shabby tricks by
which people try TO pass for what they
are not, / have seen as much as others;
but my education and intercourse with
the world had not been so far extended
as to bring me into acquaintance with
custom which "has long been prac-
ticed in the large cities of Europe" !"
| and is now to be introduced among the
upper classes of the city of New York.
If a man has money and nothing
else, it is highly becoming and meri-
torious to use it in the entertainment
of his friends The Bible saith that
"money aDswereth all things" 1t
makes up for the want of brains and
culture, and helps him who has it to
be useful and agreeable. A rich and
hospitable gentleman will, with virtue
command the respect of his fellow-men,
though his early education may have
been neglected, and it is evident he
was not "to the manner born" And
it is now proposed to enable the stupid
est of men and women to show that
if "wisdom is defence, and money is
Defence" as the Bible saith, so
money can buy wit, and the one who
has the most of "flthy lucre" can have
the most charming parties, with the
most entertaining guests, and the wit
and song and even the conversation
shall be made by machine, at ten dol
lars head. But am OBTAINING you
from the circular:
COPY.
New YORK, May, 1882.
Families, who are about giving re-
ceptions, dinner parties, or other en-
tertainments, will be gratified to know
that persons, who will assist in max
ing these events pleasant and enjoy
able, can be obtained through the
medium of The - Bureau These
persons will not be professionals, but
parties of culture and refinement, who
will appear well, dress elegantly and
mingle with the guests, while able and
willing to play, sing, converse fuently,
tell good story, give recitation or
anything that will help to make an
evening pass quickly and pleasantly.
"The - Bureau does not claim
any originality in this plan, but simply
complies with the increasing demands
of large class of its patrons, in thus
introducing feature of the business
that has long been praoticed In the
large cities of Europe. The attend
ance of such persons, young or old,
male or female, can be had for the sum
of $40 per evening EACH We will
guarantee them to be strictly honest
and desirable persons.
Respectfully yours.
| must confess to slight sense of
wounded pride on receiving this pro-
posal, having never felt the need of
such hired help at the dinner table or
evening sociable. The circular is GER
tainly intended only for the rich and
stupid. am not rich, and it humili-
ates me to know that this Bureau
thinks me stupid, and sends this init
nation that for ten dollars they will
send man to dine with me who can
tell good story.
had read in the Bible and other
Oriental writings of the practice of
hiring mourners at funerals, whose
weeping and wailing are in proportion
to the price paid for their cries and
tears; but it had never reached me
before that, in any market or country.
professional wits we're to be let, who
are introduced to the company as
friends of the host, and are to be anus
ing at 80 much an hour. 1t is the
misfortune of some men who are gifted
with the faculty Of telling entertaining
stories to be invited out for the sake
of their powers, and the host would be
grievously disappointed if the wit did
not pay for his dinner by doing his
level best. Mr. Clark, of the Kaaic&-
erbocker Magazine, was one of these
amusing gentlemen greatly in demand.
At fashionable party, he was behav-
ing himself with the quiet demeanor of
gentleman, when he was suddenly
confounded by the approach of SER
want, who said, Mrs. Stuckup's COM
pliments to Mr.. Clark, and won't he
please to begin to be funny Now,
Falstaff was right when he said, 1T
reasons were as plenty as blackberries,
| would give no man reason upon
compulsion' And no wit can be sum-
moned to order
And what man can with malice pre-
pense or with forced amiability pro-
duce entertainment at so much yard !?
There was a time-for aught l know
it may be SO now-when kings had
professional Iesters, downs, fools,
dwarfs and oddities Of all sorts to
amusc them and their guests, which is
certainly better dish to set before a
king or for king to set before his
trenchmen than the fights of beasts and
men which made Roman holiday.
When British ladies and gentlemen
were seen dancing, the native Chinese
gentry expressed surprise that they
snould put themselves to SO MUCH
physical 1neonyenienee for pleasure,
and said; we haye our servants to
dance for u.s.
The daughter Of Herodias danced
before Herod ana pleased him, and the
murder of John the Baptist followed,
his venerable head being the price
which the sensual regent paid for the
evenings entertainment. But dane
ing girl before prince, or chorus o.
men singers and women singers such
as the king in Jerusalem. got for his
amusement, was something quite other
than this proposition made to me by
letter seems to intimGta. lnaglne foi
moment my acceding to the offer and
ayailing myself Of the opportunity tc
engage for the very moderate sum o
, fifty dollars five professional amusers
-'parties of culture and refinement
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