davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

MILAN, H., Dec. 81, 1873.
MRS. DR.. KEeK,-Dear Friend feelit my daty
To the suffering public to make known what your
remedies have done for me; have not been wen
aud strong for IS years now.
1t has now been Is months since took your rem
etIies and still feel perfectly well. conscie,r
tiousiy recommend yonr treatment to all suffering
could not walk without being exhausted. Did not
sleep at nights fact felt debiiitatezf all over.
Yours with best wishes,
Mrs. NJ. L. KNOWLES, ..
Sister of ii. p. Beatte of Davenport.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
IA. r.Aue aEI.IEF.

tApwAx'a READY RKitRF .ia the only remedla
agent IA vogue that wali instRnily st0p pain.
FIFTY CxNTS PKR BOTTLE.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
Great Germ Destroyer.
DAEBY'S
PROPHYLACTIC FLUID l.

FITTING Of MALL
P0X Prevented.
Ulcers purified aud heal
ed.
Gangreneprcvented and
cured.
Dysentery cured.
Wounds Healed rapidly.
Scuryey cured in shor-
time.
TBtter dried up.
It is perfectly harm
+ less.
For Sore Throat it isG
sure cure.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
DR.. isadwnv'
REGULATING PILLS.
T.. Ffect f'uFgAiiv1s. 30 thug sAperleBis.. Act
without Pafn. always Reliable and Nat
nral ~ tis ir 0perntioR-

Nft'-AnA~tt7t-
a vws.RFABi.R dHsTiFUrE FOX eAAOMEL
e. rfecil, tasieiess, rl.gAnliy coated win. sweet
sunl tusgr regulate pnrifs cl. anre and strength
en- Eadssass Pills, Sssf The care OF sl disorders oil
Id stossach. ilysE. hvwcls, KldB ~. kladder'
H.reou- biseaE d tieadacie CoifStipaIi0n, CoeiVe-
nssz. gndieentia, Dssrepsins hlstonsneeesfbli onS
T. yer, Ind matisA OF the Bowels. Piles. and az
aTa ssesaents ~ thc lnieFHal Nsaeeral warranted
!. effect = positive fares Pp.els f.ge,able, con
tnsaIn. aassEeaFy, minefaf OF deleterfons drugs
go Observe the 10 :IswiRg, ssmptgns resulting
rom .ii jfsiers ~ the 6IgeSlivo Organs
tssti lsaii.sr ta.saEd kfleas fults q th9 BoOu
r the Head, Acfdaty OF the ). onacn. NausGaa.
3Hearsburzs ssisgRst os food ia ness o. ~ eish
IN he StolRac Sour Eruptions.S mixing Of FiuttSf
afs In the PIT OF the Sfomach. swimming OF tne
Head iusrsSd and Difficult Breathing y lutteFings'
Il the Heart Choking SufOcating Sensation,
shez IN living Posture. Dlmnees % hisapns DOL
81 Webs before the sight. Fever and YniL fAln ~
tha Head, Deficiency 9E PFespirnfiens xelteWness "a
shs akin and Ryee. Pain Ia the Side -
and sudden Ftnshes 81 Heat burning u INC
Flesh. - -
Al few dose az RADWAYS Pills viii nee ne
awEfaEn from All the abJve named dlaosd6Hs1 tFles
es eents per box, Sold by dEug9tFts.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
A sRAIEFA REGOsnITlOn j.,

40 CURE q CHRONIC on Lone sFANDuHa r,s.
truly victory In the healng art; that reasoni'
power that chafly discerps DEFECT and rnnIJtass
remtdy; That restores step by step-bJ depit.s~
body which har been slowly attacked ga
sakened 10y sInsd nus die, ase. not ONLY c nu
mAhde eur respect bat deserves our gratitude H.
k4dway has furnished marking with that wOpder'
fol remedy. RADwAY's SARsAPARILIIAR RRscIv-
numaaity, who drag out ali exist nee of main any
disease, through long daye and long nights nU5o
dim th' lr gratitude" Medical Messenger
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
RlDWhYSaRapyRIIRF

In from one to twenty minutes, never fails IN re-
LEW HE PAIN with one thorough application. No
matter how yiolent or, e1cTaciating the, pain the
RHEUMATIC, Red ridden, Inhrh, Crippled, Ner
soae NeIfalssic or Frustrated With diseese may
sUffeT, RAILWAYS READY RELIEF viii afford
instant ease.
gRnaaafa alton Of the Kidneys inflammation OF the
Bladder Inflammation OF the Bowels, COnges-
- ti0n OF the kangs, sore Throat Di1icult
Breathing, Palpitation Of the Heart
Mysteries, CFoup, Diptheria. Ca
tarrh, Gnnuenza, Headache,
To0thache, Nervousness,
Sleepleeenesa, Neuralgia,
iiiRhnMmntiota, cold
Chills AgHs Chills,
& st4blaiRB, FFtss sA8fres, Bruises, Summer Com
plants, Coughs, Colds. SPrRlIts, Pains
In the Cheat, Back or limbs ara
AnatRnllQ relieved.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

ssJustice of the Peace
! The Tribune must seek some other OPP
portnnity than this to wave the "bloody
shirt again. ss.sa
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09


My wife has been laboring under chronic aiIec-
tons including caiaTEh for l3 years aaid has been
treated for the most of that time. without ma
lerai benefit until she applied nj the Office OF Mrs
DIR. Keck. in Peoria. last fall. She had not then
spoken loud word for nearly five isonis, lost her
voice while under other treatment; threatened
with paralysis entire left side bcig very weak aBd
numb: versots system completely battered !:
her lungs in serious condition and her health fail
ing rapidly Her hands and feet assay cold,
showing very poor circulation and condition OF the
blood.
About Oct 1, 1881, she applied Ut The otice Of Mira.
DIR. Keck for advice and treatment. which continued
faithfully az home until Decenaisers She made
several visits to Mrs Keck Office ia Peoria. in the
meantime, 10 obtain necessary directions and medi
clues. and improved very mach. Her Foice still
:sofe however and still doubling. | tuck my wife
Ia several physicians Of ensinelaes for exani nation
and opinion. They agreed with Mrs. keek TO
what the trouble was. Some q them said there Is
very little hope others said there uofae Tor
eovery.
So. Mrs Watson went with Mrs. keck aud resaaIss
ed 1T hei nistsAary five weeks Ia two weeks her
voice restored o it, original strength and tone.
met her In Peoria hsr rstzfn ilssne, Jan. S5th.
and heard her speak loud for the first time in eight
months her health u seFs much better IN every
WAY. n has paid well u Ielluw Mrs. Messi's al
sie ,iiir,ils we bad very little hopes at first II
any ssllsss the above. they uay eorreslsad viii
Al ssissford, III.
M. ". WATSON. 8
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
THE HARVEST OF SUCCESS CONTINUES.
CHAMPAIGN Cry. Champaign Co., Ill.,,
Nae A 1881

Mrs DIR. KEcK-Dear Madam: This is to certify
that you have cured my daughter of sore eyes tea
tarraal eoBiuHctyitis and fraaulafioa Of fds) She
has afflicted since 1876 and been treated by the
best physicians in the country hut got worse all the
time Last March new doctor came here, who
said he could her in three months He treated
her over two months but she grew worse all the
time In fact she nearly blind IN left eye fFOEn
ulcers upon the eye ball aseefsthtn OF cornea. !
Friends wanted 10 take her away for Treatment,
bat learning that yo wtsnld be here in Jaiy, We
waited and placed her under your care. In three
weeks treatment nnder she could t,f litl@ht
glasess which she has .ss. StA ftfstttsr Ia
fore. she has beeu nl.;.f your tss-tt. vi
weeks and believe hrF Ia .ielittss8e 49, anti
ed. Nothing hurts her ese- and 5spa estAtiot
tell that they were ever sore. Yours truly,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
SMALL Pox
IERADIGATED
Contagion destroyed.
Sick Rooms purified anI

Contagion destroyed.
Sick Rooms purified and
made pleasant
Fevered and Sick Per
sons relieved and re-
fresiRd by bathiugwith
fx1spAylaesie Fluid add
ed to the water. .
Soft White Complex
ions secured by its use
in bathing.
impure Air made harm
less and purified by
sprinkling Darby =
FlHid about
To Purify the Breath,
Cleanse the Teeth,
it can't be surpassed.
Catarrh relieved and
cured.
Erusipelas cured.
Burns relieved instantly.
Scars prevented.
Removes al unpleasant
odors.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
ov AR1AN tDMoRs.

s fh.i EsrHayal 9t ttirse tumSrs by HADRATs RE
"LvksT Ia nOw so Certainly or Ablished that what
td<Fed aisaass tnifAu alDus " now
omiauD Zee ,gntzsd faei ~ all pAEpes. Witness
he Of Hannah r. knEp up, Mrs &. Krapt, Mrs
a., Assiy and Mo- q. ~ HendFiE, pubiTsiird in
Almanac f0l 1S79; also rat OF Mr. & =. BIB
5hs In IN, spsesaa esiIsoB- u oar fetalsr snd
rr0c."
One Oottis sota me- more OF t4e active principles
OF dsdicin,r thai -asthrT pl7PaJH ioh rsNsN
Fs< ,ifnl siUr.N w!.3i .sthsfs ,Inir. H. VI
o E9EsRsss aaatb .tE
.. On Dvl-LAk u, BOTTLE.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
: w. II RnEnIEs
1T At III iSN'FALTH
:lsaal!I rIGliy is trailh Il Mini
ssanw Ways
SarSspaTiilsaH ReSO;yeNt.

EHie blood nsaktp tonhd d. n. st,,,.,, b.,
clear KIN, sou would have yopt dtsb s Iu
your bones saelnd. Wiihont carries and vonT cn lu
RkSOLVENT LILLIAN
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09
ROCK ISLAND d PEORIA RAILWAY.

(sHoRrEsr ROUTE TO THE EAST AND VEST
LEAVE. ARRIVE.
Way Freight, g 100 A. N.
Fast Express IDS A. N. Mail and Elk ..1s:45 p. NJ
Mail and Elk. rs P. n. Fast Express. $40 p. N.
Freight and Accommodation. 90 p. II.
The s4S p. train makes close connection at
asIva WITH thesG D. q Q.sfd points vests arriving
at Gaieebdrg 1t 4:25 p. M Burlington gs:4o p. m
Keokek 10 :25R ms Quincy 1o:05 p. ms also max,
ing close connection al Peoria with I. b. W., and
T. P. j. W., roads for all points east and south.
ROCK ISLAND 4 MERCER CO., II. Il.
LEAVE ARRIyE.
Rock Island. -. $500 A. n. Gable, 80 A. N.
{" 4:0aP.n. ......... 5:45P. N.
Cable, ........ 6:30AsM Rock Island, 15 A. N.
..........1 30 p n. = 3:1oP M
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

Thare can be no better guarantee Of the value e,
ID r RAdWay'e old established X. e. H. .R e nleu =
han the base and worthless imi .atione o. 5ne"'
ere are false Reaoggentss Reliefe ands fIb
r. aad aek Tor Radway's ., ard aes tast tAs S@'s
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

Cholera dissipated.
Ship Fever prevented
by its use.
In case of death in the
house, it should always
be used about the
sc0rpse--it will prevent
any unpleasant smell.
An Antidote for Animal
or Vegetable POisOns,
Stings, &c.
Dangerous eiiiuvias OF
sick rooms and h0spi-
tails removed by its use.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

s send aletter stamp 90 RAILWAY d O9.a NC, =
Warren. Cor Chnrch 49,. New f0gKr JaK tnIet-
naa2lcn worth thoueandf viii be Bont you
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

Yss sxtract,fram "a Railways "Treatise ON Dis.
sass anh Tie Cure" M foIlows;
LisT 0P pIsEAsEs oURED nv
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-07-09

Fasn. a. uaAmsR.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-11

us it very late?n says Mona. awaken
ing from her happy dreams with a start.
Not very, says GeOilrey. at seems
only just now that Mickey and the dogs
left MS" Together they examine his
watch by the light Of the moon, and see
that it is quite ten o'clock.
"Oh, it is dreadfully late!" says Mona,
with much conjunction. "Come, let
us hurry"
"Well, just one moment" says Geof-
frey, OBTAINING her. "Let us finish what
we were saying Would you rather go
TO the East or to Rome?n
ITO Rome, says Mona. "But do you
mean it? Can you afford it? Italy seems
SO far away" Then, after a thoughtful
silence, "Mr Rodney"
"Who on earth are you speaking tor"
says Godfrey.
"TO you!" with surprise.
II am not Mr., Rodney; Jack is that.
Can't you call me anything else?"
What else" says Mona, shyly.
Call me Godfrey"
81 always think of you as Godfrey"
whispers she, with a swift, sweet up
ward glance; but to say it is 80 differ
ent. Well" bravely, "rll try. Dear,
dear, dear Godfrey, | want to tell you
that / would be as happy with you in
Wicklow as in Rome"
~ know that" says Godfrey, "and
the knowledge makes me more happy
than | can say. But TO Rome you shall
90, whatever it may cost. And then we
shall return to England to our home.
And then-little rebel that you are--you
must begin to look upon yourself as an
English subject, and accept the queen
as your gracious sovereign"
~ need no queen when I have got
king" says the girl, with ready wit and
great tenderness.
Godfrey raises her hand to his lips.
your king is also your slave" he SAYS,
with fond smile.
down the road that leads towards the
farm.
Again she has grown silent, as though
oppressed with thought; and he too is
mute, but all his mind is crowded with
glad antlcipations of what the near fu.
ture is to give him. lie has no regrets
no fears. At length, struck by her per
sistont taciturnity, he says, What is it,
Monap'
''lf ever you should be sorry after.
wards" she says, miserably, still tor
menting herself with unseen evils-uif
ever should see discomfort in vo,Ir
eyes. how would it be with me thenyo
Don't talk like q penny illustrated Z"
says Mr.. Rodney, in a very superior
tone. If ever you do see all you seem
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-11
RIO be Coptin,tcd.l
-
In What Position 10 Slann.

The man who is thoroughly tagged
out, can sleep soundly in almost any
position; but there IS undoubtedly a
choice OF position, not only for the ncr-
vous and the invalid but for the healthy
ana the strong. One writer recommends
lying upon the back The objection TO
this position is, that in certain morbid
states OF the brain the blood gravitates
to the back of the head, and produces
headache and troublesome dreams. An
other writer strongly recommends lying
prone upon the front of the body, and
gives his reasons for choosing that posi-
ton. But the weight of medical author
Ivy, common sense, and u knowledge of
anatomy teach, that to lie upon heright
side is the best, for in this position the
food gravitates more easily out of the
stomach into the intestincs, and the
weight of the liver, pretty large and
heavy organ, does not rest upon other
internal organs.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-11
Pam Cannot STAY Where
1t Is Used.

khucmatism is cured by
THOMAS RCLECTRIC OIL.
Jane back Of eight years standing WIS positive.
y cured by 81 cents worth Of
TAoMAS' ECLECTRIC OIL
Common sore throat Ia cured With one dose Of
THOMAS ECLECTlIC OIL.
Coughs a. d colds are cured by
THOMAS ECLRCTRIC OIL.
All throat and lung diseases are cured by
THOMAS BCLECTRIC OIL
Asthma lie cured by
THOMAS ECLECTRIC OIL.
Burns and frost bites are relieved at once by
THOMAS ECLECTRfC OIL.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-11
Chills ,lnd Fever.

simmons Liver Regu
lator room breaks nc
Chilla and carries the
fever out OF the system.
" cures when all other
remedies lhil,
Sick Headache.
Il rthc relief and cure
Of this distressing dis
ease use simmons Liy
pr IiouilHtor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-08
Deer SHppEanting Men.


The Duke of Argylrs letter in answer to Mr..
Macfarlane will probably convince all those per-
sons upon whom duke-qua dictionaries q
great Impression that there is nothing in the
Highland question except what are called mat
ural causes" But unfortunately. one of these
natural causes (natural, that is to say, under all
the circumstances of the case for suppose
every man would put hi hand into his neigh
boris pocket if he law let him. is the landlord
Now, the Scotch landlord thinks that he can
make more out of sheep or deer than out of
men This is very true. But somehow the
men don't like 1t. and as some of them have
votes, or can influence votes. the members of
Parliament are be ginning not to like it either,
His Grace says that there are no deer i'm Iona;
bu1 rather fancy there are deer in Skye. and |
know that Skye alone sent 800 soldiers to the
battle of Waterloo. Now, the state sometimes
wants soldiers, but can never by any possibility
want deer. For this reason alone it seems to
me not unreasonable that the state Should in
terfere with the natural causes which are
rapidly substituting deer for men all over the
Highlands.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-08
a big Well.

From the Los Angeles lCal) Telegram
TIE largest well in California il now ranid,v
nearing completion in Wilmington, in this
county 1t Is the enterprise of General Phineas
Banning, one OF the most energetic citizens of
Los Angeles county, who has made this well his
hobby and pride for several months past. II ia
tweaty live feet in diameter. and has reached a
level some forty feet i'm diameter. and has
reached level some forty feet below the surface
OF the earth In the interior OF this eircu,ar
hole huge wooden tank hooped together with
iron bands. and each stave twelve inches suuare
has been built. The inside Of this tank, which
Is bottomless, Ii hoped with bands of railroad
iron and formed so that the bottom flares out
ward and is wider than the top. As the earth Is
removed from the bottom Of the well this mann
moth bottomless tub, one foot thick, sinks
downward, thus forming a water-tight wall. On
top of this wooden structure q brick wall is
being built as the hole becomes deeper. The
wsfer enters the well at the bottom in large
volumes, but II is kept almost dry by the opera
tion OF large steam pump which runs night
and day. There IL room for twenty-five or thirty
men TO work upon the bottom Of this we'll When
IL 10 completed the water will be pumped into
gigantic tank which, being elevated above the
ground upon scafoiding. viii give sufficient
gravity to send water in any direction tor miles.
With the completion Of this well Wilmington
and San Pedro will have an assured supply OF
W1ter for all time. Pipes are laid 10 lie wharf
ct San Pedro 50 that vessels eaa tAar water
with greater ease and without trs.au,,. Tine
cost Of this monster well Will Dc rot less tilaa
$500 or $4,000.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-08

In on article contributed bys. G. W. Benjamin
to the Century the author described the improve
ment In ocean steamships and says: Thirty
years ago sixteen days was fair allowance for
the passage between England and New York by
steam BY gradual steps the point was reached
when eleven days was the minimum, and this
startled the world. Then began q rivalry be-
tween the Innan and White Star lines. attended
by succession of runs showing q gradual in
crease OF speed. which proved a great adver-
tisement for these lines In 1871 the average
time OF twenty-fOur crack VOYAGES by these
lines were eight days. fifteen hours. and three
minutes. The Adriatic's best westward time
was fOrty-three minutee less. 1t should be re-
membered that the westward passage is
generally longer than in the other
the Gulf stream. In emulation of this
speed in 1877 the City of Berlin. of the Inman
line, made the trip to Queenstown from New
ork In seven days, fourteen hours and twelve
minutes. and in the same year the Britannia, OF
tine White Star line, crossed from Queenstown
I'm seven days. ten hours and fifty-three minutes.
1879 new rival appeared i'm the field, the Ar-
iona, Of the Guion line. This steamship made
the eastward passage i'm 1880 in seven days. ten
hours and forty-seven minutes. and in one trip
in 1881 she lessened this time about three hours.
This seemed to be about the best that could be
expected OF these saperb ships, when the new
GuiOn steamer Alaska, after q number Of as
tonishing runs, accomplished the westward
passage between the two ports. on April 10,
1882, in seven days. six hours and twenty
minutes. actual time, against heavy seas. In
subsequent trip eastward she ran the dis
tance in six days and twenty-five hours,
actual time. In this, the quickest passage
ever made across the Atlantic, the Alaska
travelled ,S95 knots. being about an average of
41S15 knots per day. for seven successive days.
1t will be observed that the increase of speed
has been graduated in proportion to the grad
ual increase of size. The ships of 1850 were
rarely much over z. 800 tons. and were barely
300 feet long. Now the average length of ocean
steamers is upward of 400 feet. while 500 feet is
not uncommon The City of Rome is $50 feet
long and registers 1926 tons; the Serva is $50
feet and $500 tons; the Alaska is $50 feet and
$685. tons. The Austral, intended for the Aus
tralian trade, is 474 feet long and forty-eight
feet, three inches broad. and registers $500
tons. The measurements Of this vessel. and of
the new Cunarder CephaiOnia, which is 44O feet
long by 46 feet beam, Indicate that the reaction
against extreme length has already commenced
in the great shipyards of Great Britain. being
in each of these cases less than ten beams to
the length.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-08
JUDGE WYLIE,S CHARGE.
What IN Said About it.
Dispatch to the Cincinnati Gazette.

Dispatch to the Cincinnati Gazette.
WASHINGTON, Nov. 5.-Judge wyiie's charge
In the SOteldo case is highly commended, except
where personal or professional interests are in
VOWED With these exceptions it is signif-
can't fact that 1t has only been attacked by those
who have either direct or a we1i-known indi-
rect connection with the star route crowd. This
feature of the matter furnishes additional
evidence that the pursuit Of Soteldo was In
the interest of this crowd and in the direct
line of its efforts to defarne everybody who
was connected with the exposure OF star
route robbery either in the Department of
Justice or in the press. As in every other in
stance they have m;sstated the facts developed
in the late trial in order to create a basis for
their attacks. Lately story has been put In
circulation I'm connection with Judge Willie
which is cunnfngly devised as an attack upon
the whole court. Ii asserted that Judge Carter
the Chief Justice had been appealed to by the
star route men to remove Judge Wyle from the
criminal side Of the court on the ground that
he would not give the star route defendants a
fair trial, and that Judge Macarthur be sub5ti-
tuted 1t was further declared that Judoe
Carter was likely to entertain the request.
Thus the Chief Justice was nsulted by being
held up as judge whom the star route crowd
would dare approach in this way while Judge
Macarthur was publicly proclaimed to be the
judge they wanted. The implications equally
unjust In the cases of each judge. The fact is.
under the rules of the court. no such transfer
would be made, except at Judge Wylies own
request.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-08
The Popular Demand.

from DraKe'S Travellers Magazine.
IL think It's q mistake to have any lights in
the cars while they are going through the tun-
nell" remarked the superintendent of New
Jersey railroad to the good old president.
"Why, my dear sir, y said the pous old man,
81 can't understand what the objection to them
is-in fact, think they are absolutely necessary.
Will you tell me why you think the road would
be benefited by not lighting the lamps when the
train passes through the tunnel?'
"Well, sir" replied the observing superin.
tendent, 'you know that our road carries great
many young fOlks"
''Well, yes know that"
'Well. you never have seen them hug and
kiss each other in the daylight on the cars, have
mo, can't say that have"
''Then don't you see. If we don't light up they
Wonid be more apt to patrOnize our road, and
the profits would be more than commensurate
to the grOwls of the non-kissing traveler''
"H'm m. yes. Very true. In future, if any con-
ductor allows lamp to be lighted in his train
while going through tunnels, discharge him at
once, said the piOus president