National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-05-20
FUN, FACT, FICTION.


A Western papor has nm article upon "where Edt
| tors Go When They Die" We reckon Baltimore Is
| the place. They seem to have some pretty dead edt
tors there on two or three papers.-Boson Posi-.
An exchange prints able article ON Hints on
How to Go 10 Sleep" It Is the most convincing
ticlc we ever read upon the subject We fast
asleep before we got half through it.-Bos,on nd'r
script.
She conhded to him that she never wore anything
but silk stockings when she TO dances lie said
he had no doubt the costume becoming. but
ought not there be little more oft ?London Sport
ing Times.
At IA recent diamond show at the residence Of tho
Baroness BurdettCouts the largest pure white Cape
diamond known, weighing 100 carats and valued al
fl5O0OO, exhibited. The Baroness will advertise
| for hotel clerk next week.
| There was young woman of Worcester
So scared by the crow ora rorcester,
| That her mother cried Hannah
I'm surprised at your mannnh
Why don't you behave MS you uctstar?"
A widow in Japan, who is willing to think of matrt
mony. wears her hair tied and twisted around long
shell hairpln placed horizontally the back OF
the head. Were this the custom I'm this country wa
would throw down the pen and at once engage In tho
| manusacture ofshell harpins.
| Lots OF respectable fathers and mothers in MIL
waukee are worked up over the discovery that many
cergymen, who have done large share of the marry.
| Ing for the past twenty years, have not complied
with the martial laws of the State, and that, there
| fore, the marriages are void
| A drunken ex-pollceman In Brooklyn did not
know what else TO do but 10 club his wife. Clubbing
came naturally to him. lie clubbed hard he broke
his wlfe's and she had to go to the hospital. Tho
collections for foreign missions will bo taken up as
usual in Brooklyn next sunday.
| Say Scovlllei AS your eminent brotherin-law
don't want you looking amer his case, and repudhaes
you and denounces you, and feels agrleved and out
| ragged at your performances, why not come home
| and go to work and leave Providence to look afler
| Charles? Why not?-Tnter Ocean.
| 60 Yes" said the auctioneer i" 1 know that man
have standing at the door and calling upon
| people TO enter speaks so thickly and indis-
| tinctly that you could more readily understand a
| brakeman That's what L want. Folks will be curl.
to know what in the of blazes he's talking
about, and will come inside TO sterilization Post.
| A silver dollar with bit of concnve mirror set into
one side is by gamblers called sinner. BY laying IL
among his pile of coin and dealing 1t the opera
tor know what every player holds for that DEAL
the cards being reflected in miniature. member Of
the Mining Club of Leadyllle has been caught using
sinner. By means of 1t he won $500 In night at
| poker.
At her first appearance since the death of her hus
band, on the stage of Albert Hall. London Madame
| Nilsson dressed in deepest mourning, and her
first notes betrayed her agitation by treniulous
culver. But she soon brayely conquered herself and
her full, strong voice rang through the hall with all
Its old-time sweetness. The audience applauded rap
| turously, but she firmly declined the encore,
| The Rev. Arthur Annceseed of Utica, Is u disciple
very zephyr ofpoetc pley. His preaching Is very
delicate. Last Sunday he read portion Of sacred
writ, detailing rehearsal OF Jonah's submarine ad-
ventures. ave come now to JONAH" said Arthur.
=" who passed three days and three nights I'm tho
whale's-a -ahem-socety.-l lPdtertoion Times
"You are always kicking up row." said gentle
man to negro and his wife who were having
" muss." "Why is there no harmony In your houseH"
Oats Jess what was tellin de lazy, wufess Nigga"
said the woman. " Oar amt no hominy in de house.
no meat. and the bacon's all eat up, and the meal
barl is empty He is de only thing in de house what's
full all do time"
A gentleman was relating to friend how a party
ofyoung fellows got full ut wedding, lie said
| ofthem went up stairs lust braidng. The friend
said Well, what in the world is braidngs That is
a new one on me-" The man who telling the
story said: :" You don't know what bradlng IN, oh
He braidng three strands, two strands of legs,
and one strand of bannlsters." That seemed TO bo
so plain that any man who had gone up stairs
drunk could readily realize the situatlon.-Pcks Sun.
A story of button: Rosallnd, my dear" said her
mother, who was sweeping out the front hallway,
"does this button belong to your fathers ovcrcoat"
!, LET me see 1t, Oh dear; no. ma! 1t comes from
Georges overcoat. Isn't 1t splendid? - don't
anything SO very splendid about IT," "oh, why, mai
II you only young, and such very nice young
man like George should-shouid-" "Well, shan't
have any more such works In this house. I've no
objection to little moderate hugging In the house,
hut young men can't hug their overcoat buttons off In
my hallway, not much" And Rosallnd went to her
boudoir to indulge In weep-Neio Haren Register.
Pope Leo XII. continues to observe. as Sovereign
Pontin, the austere habits for which he dstin-
gushed while in the lower orders of the church lie
invariably rises at six in the morning and at once
says Mass In his private chapel Soon after he at
tends seCohd Mass said by the almoner oil duty.
and then eats light breakfast. The remainder Of
the morning he spends In reading the papers,
ferrlng with Cardinal Jacobni, secretary of state.
and giving audiences to official visitors At noon ho
takes exercise In the Vatican Gardens returning to
dine nt two o'clock. After dinner he retires TO his
private rooms TO work and pray. An hour before
evening prayers ho takes short nap and then a
, walk through the halls. At nine o'clock he supa
! and ut eleven retires to bed.
, Boys stick to the farm" The original essay on
this subject written during 1T Of dependency
{ by Americas Vespucci in 1902. Since when, with
spring-like regularity, the powerful voice OF our
country press-wlth its patent nsldeshas waited hs
gentle precepts from Maine TO Texas, But with sur
prisng unanimiiy the boys refuse 10 stick; and whyf
/ Possibly because they object 10 rising ut five m.
and working until eight y. M; possibly they object to
riding horse to pow until they walk bowlegged pos
Q slbly because thinning" machlneplant,d turnips
, in hot is dsagreeabe 10 them; possibly because
they are expected to swing seytho and keep pace
N with S+Rday hired man; pr'n 'pally because their
yearly income g'nerally averages halEhOlday
a every Fourth of July with twenty-five cents pocket
money Boys who do stick generally do hoping
that In the future they may have little boys OF
i tn ,lr own whom they may be revenged-Htl0
HdUenSRe0ister
-S-----