Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-02

distances are pretty wide up there, anu
they ?'' inquired one.
kota man. sAnd the worst of it is, it breaks
up families so. Two years ago 1 saw whole
family Frustrated with grief. Women yelling,
children howling, and dogs barking. One OF
my men had his camp truck packed on seven
four-mule teams and he was around bidding
everybody goodbye"
''Where was he going ?"asked a Gravesend
man.
''He was going half way across the farm to
feed the pigs" replied the Dakota man.
'Dd he ever get back to his family ~ -.
ut isn't time for him yet," returned the
Dakota gentleman. "Upthere we send young
married couples to milk the COWS, and their
children bring home the milk"
-->-~>--
A WELL-SELECTED JURY.-Down in Ill
extremely rural district of Arkansas an old
man was arrested for stealing hog. The
proof was positive, and the Court was sur
prised when the plea of not guilty was intro
duced. The lawyer for the defense, man
well-known for his trickery rather than his
ability, seemed particularly desirous OF select
ing jury that would not show partiality Ill
its decision. The prosecuting attorney, a
young and inexperienced man, agreed to every
juryman selected by the defense, and the
Judge although he might have stepped over
the bounds of judicial courtesy, said nothing
The arguments were concluded, leaving III the
minds of the people no doubt as to the verdict,
for one of the witnesses, man whose word
one could not dispute, swore that he saw the
defendant when he stole the animal. The jul
ry retired, and, after few moments, return
ed with verdict of not guilty, in exact oppo-
sition to the charge of the Court.
When the court adjourned, the Judge ap-
preached the lawyer for the defense and re-
marked:
''Look here, my friend, 1 never heard OF
such verdict. | cannot as an impartial dis
seminator of justice, allow so fragrant an out
rage to be perpetrated on this community
That man is as guilty as Judas, but If you
will tell me the secret of the acquittal, I'll al
low the verdict to pass"
''You see, Judge, some of the jurymen were
rather young and some rather older"
eyes, but what does that signify ?"
''It signifies that I run in the old mans
twelve sons on the jury."-Little Rock Gazette
WHY THE PARsoN LEFT KENTUCKY.-A
good many years ago, when certain place III
Texas was a very small town, quite number
of prominent citizens went out on a hunting
expedition. One night, when they were all
gathered around the camp fire, one OF the par
ty suggested that each man should give the
time and reason for his leaving his native State
and coming to Texas, whereupOn each one in
turn told his experience Judge Blank had
killed man in self-defense, in Arkansaw;
General SOandso had forged another mans sig
nature to check, while another came to Texas
on account of his having two wives. The only
man who did not make any disclosures was
sanctimonious looking old man who, although
a professional gambler, was usually called
''ParSon."
s;Well, Parson, why did you leave Ken
lucky %
'Idon't care to say anything about it. Be-
sides it was only trite. None of you would
believe me anyhow"
'sOut with it! ! Did you shoot anybody"
'sNo, gentlemen, 1 did not. Since you want
to know so bad, III tell you. left Kentucky
because 1 did not build church."
Deep silence fell on the group. No such ex-
cuse for coming to Texas had ever been heard
before. There was, evidently, al unexplained
mystery at the bottom of it. The ''parson"
was called on to furnish more light.
''Well gentlemen, you see congregation
raised three thousand dollars and turned it
over to me to build the church, and didn't
build the church. That's ALL"
OFFERING A BARGAIN.-A few days ago
the following amusing dialogue was heard on
our streets between a citizen and "'spectable
culled pusson," who had three small chickens
for sale
Colored person-s'Boss, does yer wish ter
buy some berry fine fowls dis ebening."
Citizen-''I don't know whether do or
not what do you ask for them ?"
Colored person-''Boss, isn't got de time
ter try de market ter see what such fowls as
desc is wurf an III let you hab 'em fer twenty
cents apiece berry cheap fowls, Boss"
Citizen-"You ask too much for them,
ho
chickens as these"
Colored person-"Well, Boss, its jest like
tell yer, isn't de time ter 'quire roun' ter see
what dose fowls am wurf, an ruther'n bodder
wild 'em III sell ali three of 'em for sirty cents;
mighty cheap Boss.''
But there was no trade, the citizen not be-
ing able to see the ''dscount."
THE SKY-RoCKET BRAND.-A man travel
ing, entered a tavern, and seeing no one pres
ent but the landlord and a negro, seated HIM
self and entered into conversation with the
negro. Shortly, he asked Sambo If he was dry.
Sambo said he was. Stranger told him to go
to the bar and take something at his expense.
Negro did so and shortly left. Landlord says
to ths stranger:
ssNo, never saw him before; but why doyou
ask 20 .,
II supposed SO ITOlll youl CoufeloiLS "ieh
him and asking him to drink
''Oh !" said thestranger, Il was experiment
ing. The fact is, l was dry myself, and
thought that if your liquor didn't Kill the ne
gro in fifteen minutes, would Ventureto take
drink myself
Landlords curiosity fully satisfied.
PATS PLEDGE.-''Tim, this won't do; you
must take warning from the fate OF your
friend, O'Shaughnessy. Only three nights
ago he came home much soberer than you are
but in attempting to blow out candle his
breath took fire and he exploded-bleW up-so
his friends in three days have not been able to
scrape enough of him together to hold wake
over"
"An' do you name to tell me that he burst
up" said Tim.
:'Indeed do, upon my honor"
Tim said he would take the pledge at once,
and he did so in the following form: 1SWear
never to blow out a candle while am drunk
again."
LOVES CONF1DENCE.-'Tell what 1t IS,
darling" he said, taking her hand and draw,
ing closer don't keep anything from me. "
so, Eugenen' she blushingly replied.
''But there ought to be no secret between
u.s. he expostulated ''True love is the very
spirit of confidence. e."
Its something I've been going to ask you
for some time"