Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-16

spoken to qoat about her,"
ssOnce or twice, he has,"
"And what did he tell you?''
'sHe never gave any decided opinion"
"Truly ?" -..,z
eyes, truly. Doctors seldom do, you know
What does she think about herself"
1T is hard for me to find out. Sometimes
she appears very respondent. Mr.. Erskine, dt
you, too, think she is going to die %
Her voice died into whisper as she asket
the question but she looked full at him, Will
fearless eyes.
GLOW can 1 answer you p: he replied, dis
tressed at being urged so far. She certainly
looks i'll any one must see that. She is very
thin and very weak but I have known Others
to recover. who seemed to be as much reduced
in strength. Probably her mind has much tc
do with her physical state. If her cheerful
ness could be restored, it might 60 far toward
making her we'll again."
ssDo you think Sc 8 But that cannot be
and YETI she paused. II wonder if am
not terribly selfish" she presently went on.
81 never try to cheer her in any way. Per-
haps am accountable for some of her depres.
sion. But what can do? am so very, very,
wretched, it would be utterly useless for me
to attempt to seem otherwise"
Mr.. Erskine was silent. Indeed, he found
it difficult to know what to say.
"Sometimes she continued" i" Ihave reproach'
ed myself for dwelling SO continually on my
own feelings Once or twice l. have taken
| &o h1f
don't think she cared great deal about it,
and when got through had feeling as If
I had been carrying on sort of mockery
that did neither of us any good. And some,
times I think if I could talk little to any
one, about-about things-I would feel better
than keeping them shut up always in my own
heart. But 1 can't. It would only make
mamma feel more unhappy land besides, when
I begin to try, the words die away before i
can speak them. I dare not 60 on"
| II am not sure that it would do her harm.
I think it is always worse to brood over things
in silence than to speak of them when one is
sure of sympathy" said Mr.. Erskine.
"But it takes so little to agitate her; and
agitation does her harm, always. l never
even mention papa's name though sometimes
feel that such constraint is dreadful. AS to
my own trouble, 1 know that that is some
thing apart. can't burden her with it; she
is weighed down already"
ssBut does she not make it her own, as well
everything else L? Your silence does not make
her feel it less. Don't you suppose it is al
ways on her mind ?"
sNo-at any rate, hope it is not. Poor
mamma it would be too much for her. AT
any rate, it is what no one can help me bear
because, of course, no one can feel about it as
I do. It is not even as if-as if he and had
been comparative strangers; as If our fond
ness for one another had been recent thing.
We had known each other so long-almost all
our lives. We had played together day by
day. as little children. We knew each others
thoughts and wishes and ideas I don't re-
member time when OUR plans for the future
were not identical. No one-not even my
father and mother-imagined, until within
the last two years, that we cared as we did.
don't think he was more than sixteen when
he first told me what he hoped 1 would he to
him."
She had spoken in a low tone, but rapidly,
as if the words came spontaneously from her
lips. 1t was no doubt relief to her to talk
of what had so long been pent up within her
heart. She did not even lcOk at her listener,
but went on rather as if she were indulging in
retrospect, unheard.
II have heard people Jest about first love ;
but I think, from what know of it, that
there can be none other better or truer. 1t
seems to me that could not have borne to
think of his ever having cared for another
person, before me. I knew I was the very
first, the first and only one and he was the
only one, for me of course that made us
care all the more He always told me all his
plans, even before he spoke of them to his
uncle. We never disagreed about anything
never not even when we were children. But
that was because he was so unseltish. lie
always thought of my pleasure first. He was
not rough or tyrannical, like most boys. And
he was so TRUTHFUL so noble; he would never
descend to the smallest deceit. 1t was nc
wonder 1 felt as did about him. When he
was going away, had presentiment that
would not see him again. l couldn't shake II
off. He was so hopeful, so enthusiastic about
his profession, so certain he would succeed
so full of plans for our future ? You knew
did you not-that we were to have been mar
ried this Fall 20 she added, for the first time
addressing herself directly to Mr.. Erskine
since she had alluded to the subject of hel
loss.
"Yes-so heard, " he replied, quietly.
'sThat was his wish-and suppose it would
have been though papa's death might have
made some difference I can't tell. If We
had had no trouble, was to have gone witt
him on his next voyage. He looked forward
to have me 60 with him everywhere But oh
what is the use of my talking or thinking
about all this now ~ she cried suddenly sink
ing back in her chair with a despairing move
ment. ''It is over-over and gone forever
All my dreams--my beautiful dreams-m!
bright hopes-are dead and gone. If it wer'
not for my mother I should pray that nigh
20 too If l lose her. I hope I will hope
will !"
s'My child, don't speak so it is wrong
You do not mean it, he said, with emotion
'sBut I do mean it. l suppose it is wrong
1t is wicked, perhaps, to murmur and rebel
and do rebel all the time. No one think
so, but I know my own heart. feel that Go'
has been very, very cruel. He built up fail
bright hopes in me, and gave me the promis
Of so much happiness, just to dash it to tn
ground. My life, that thought was going t
be sweet, is all blank and a waste Wha
, have I got to live for -
, | ltYon do not know what God may have l