The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-05-27

One year ago needle entered the wrist OF
-yoprg lady in Elmira, and the other day it wa
removed from the right arm of the fellow who
her STEADY comply"
An exchange says: "a dozen women ride nov
where one woman rode few years ago"
will he seen that this arrangement must be har'
Oh the old horse.
Sara Bernhard is married. "She told him ev
srytling," said one pretty actress. what cour
apew,sald another. "But what memory" sai(
athird.
Miss Lemon was maiden sour
As any acid know
But tarter she had married CRAB
More grabbed she did grow;
And when her sister came to call,
Such shreks she did begin,
He husband said the Lemons peal
Did fright the Lemons kin
Rome Sentinel
Vassar girls eat milk with potatoes. II this
valuable information doesn't interest you, moth
ing but an attack OF derium tremens would
Boston Post.
Chicago girls have discovered, it is said, that
by keeping FIVE or six beans in the mouth the
voice is given an "aristocratic family Accent
Boston dd1ertSer.
"And now" shouts an exchange "where shall
W ',~t for independenceg There's your moth
er-in-law and the palace.car porter, sir.-Boston
Post.
The car has commanded that no rich Jews
leaye'Russia. The car evidently does not relish
the idea of having to 90 to Berlin when he wants
to pawn that sheet.iron ulster.
Under the head OF amusements the Chicago
Tribune announces the laying out Of two actors.
One died at the Sherman House and the other
was knocked down in Cleveland depot.
A cable dispatch says that the German Prince
to whom the Princess Beatrice is engaged Twill
soon cal upon his intended bride" II the Ger
man Prince understands his business he will cal
some evening when Queen Victoria has gone &c
quilting party or church sociable Chicago
Tribune.
A Montreal paper mixed UP an account Of Cath
Ollie mission progress in Africa and a receipt t
make tomato catsup, viz: "Ihey (the missiona
ries) are accustomed to begin their work by buy
ing heather children and educating them. The
easiest and best way to prepare them is to first
wipe them with a clean towel, then place them
in dripping pans and bake them till they are
tender"
An Ohio man, who would probably have no Oh.
lection to serve on the comm ssion has sent the
President plan for the suppression Of "poligo.
my in Eutaw." 1t is gratifying to see that the
educated and enlightened classes of Dayton, o.,
at least are duly awake to the Importance OF
crushing out the twin relic.
THE MAIDEN's LAMENT
Mallock asks; as life worth living?
No, it is not, declare!
What is waking but giving
Endless time to ones back hair
Full nine hours are passed in sumber
And for eating one takes three,
While for dressing twos the number,
Ten hours only are left free,
After morning calls and shopping
Lunch time cometh all too soon
In upon one friends keep dropping
Through the dreary afternoon.
When one puts ones tagrees on,
Some bright hours at balls are spent;
But it's always out OF season,
And forty days all told are Lent.
Boston Doiy Adoertiser.
Elder Gadde, of the colored Baptist church Of
louisville, is a rousing exhorter, and his congre
CATION contains many shouters, so that the servl
ces are always turbulent. Eliza Douglass was a
recent convert, but she sat in front seat and
was one of the noisiest of the worshippers. At a
meeting a few days ago her demonstrations were
u
yell If GLORY" she fell dead on the floor
To poetess the Chicago Tribtne writes: at
viii he impossible to print your poem about the
roses true and the violets blue that bloom in the
grassy dell, and the little birds that sweetest
words Of love in their chirpngs tell We have
large line of dell and blue.bird poetry on hand
this spring that was carried over from last year"
western editor offered prize of $50 and a
years subscription for the best written proposal
OF marriage from lady. He picked out nice
proposal from a beautiful and wealthy widow.
answered it accepting the proposal, and, with
Che threat OF breach Of promise suit, actually
captured her. Editors may not acquire wealth
W writing twenty three hours day, but when
their genius takes the right shoot they procure
the persimmons,- boomerang.
o'THELLo
O'Thello was a sojer boud
Though black he was be nature.
To Disdemony he was we'd
An Innoclnt young crayture,
Wild her he lived in pace and quiet.
For she was no vy-a2r
Till Oh a cursed sht he met
villin called Iago.
See he, Yer wifes periured Jade;
Ochl she's faithless lassie--oh
She doesn't care two pins for you,
butshe'd give her two eyes out for Casshio!
ovid him she galIvants about
All in her hours OF laysure:
To him she gave her pocket handkerchief
All for 10 wipe his rayshure!'
Wild that he fell into q rage,
An riz a wondhrous riot
An swore he'd murdther her that night.
Whin everything was quiet.
But not wild dagger, nor wild dirk,
For that would raise foul sthir.
But he'd take an blow the candle OUT,
An smother her wild the boulsther
-Harps's Magazine.