River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-01-05

blindfolding him, and the starch baffied
his efforts to tunnel through.
just as he commenced straddling
around with suspenders dangling, he
heard rustic that CONCEALED his blood.
The door squeaked, and cherry voice
said:
sNow I've got you, Mr.. Biggs. The
train left me, so / made call or two
and came back. | heard you playing
sea-lion in the bathroom as / entered
the house; / got the buggy whip and
slipped up to pay you back for ever
lastingly teasing me. Now, I'm ring
master, dear hubby. Move livelyr"
And she popped her whip in buis-
ness way that suspended the bachelors
animation. The shirt hid his face, and
taking his silence for spousal submits
sion to the joke, she began:
Gentleman and ladies: Madem-
oisello Biggs, queen of the sawdust
arena, willintroduce her handsome and
perfectly trained trich mule, hubby
darling. He will walk in the arena on
his hind feet with his head and forepaws
shrouded in linen canopy. Come,
now, Hubby Hoop lal hoop la'
She ch;riped, fetching him wipe
with the whip that made his bare feet
spank the floor like a clog dancer.
Timber up, Hubbyl "Lvely, now.
Up up, UP" and she UNDERSIGNED the
last "up" with briar cut, making Hub
by Darling skip so impulsively that
darling's suspenders swished about like
lA,,lrnx,ic AL n.,1 u 4, 10
stinctively to the preservation of his
unstayed pantaloons.
81 blindfolded Hubby Darling to pre-
vent him climbing the center-pole. He's
the trickiest donkey that cavorts the
magic circle. The peerless prince of
the canvas pavilion. Hoop, la Zip
she takes him. What beautiful actionl
Yet, fellow countrymen, never curry
him down with anything but this silk
blossomed snapper. Hoop, la Poker
slash.
81 cover his ears that he may not of
fend the most fastidious; they resemble
a cross between mail bag and a hui
man appendage. Hoop, lal Zip, zip.)
Let the Golden Cornet Band dish up
Fishers Horn-pipe red-hot and highly
favored, and Hubby Darling shall"
"B-b-beg your p-pardon, m-madam,"
sputtered the victim, as his cad hand
voice shot out Of the shirt Then
She started, stopped
Spell bouud amazed:
The whip she dropped,
And then she raised
Cherokee shrek
And down she Topped.
But the terrified sufferer caught her
CALAMITY in his arms, just as Biggs rush
ed in with
"Jack, are you drowning? Great
heavens! my wifel"
"Take her Biggs. Pm tuckered out.
Awkward predicament-"
Explain yourself instantly, sir You
half dressed, my wife in your arms!"
and he bristled all over, like barbed
wire fence.
"Hold on, Riggs; I've got about all
can stand. Let me get my clothes on
and will go where men are not mar
tyrs. Your wife thought | was"
Hubby, Darlington, that blindfoldr'
murmured the queen of the arena,
half consciously.
"Hear that, sir What's this about
blindfold"
81 t stuck in that COMPOUNDED
shirt. Your wife took mo for"
"The Peerless Prancer of the Arena.
Hoop, lal" gasped the queen, rousing
little
"Merciful heavensl Hear that raw
ing You've dethroned my wife's rea.
sons. Oh, base migrated Don't leave
this house at the peril of your life.
You shall"
"Dance the sawdust ON his hind feet"
muttered the queen conclusively.
"My poor wife! / will avenge your
WRONGS" groaned Biggs, chatting her
limbs agonizingly.
"My head was fast in the shirt. She
couldn't see my face and thought it was
you," shrieked the to rtured man,
hoarsely.
every likely Be man sir. Don't
shrink from the punishment of your
treachery"
"Where am L? Is it dream2 mus
ed the queen, opening her optics and
glaring wildly.
"What has that william done?" de-
manded Biggs fiercely.
She hitched on at once.
sob, mercyl 1t is no dream. He
did nothing. Take me to my room.
Oh, husband how could you be so care
lessp
Don't go Jack; maybe I've made q
zebra of myself; stay now till the fog
rises" and he bore his wilted wife
away.
An hour later they sat around mar
velous supper Biggs made a second
trip to: order. They held their sides
and shrieked, and repeated the points
of the episode, again and again.
Jack is christened Hubby Darling"
He signs for more marriage felicity.
When Biggs wants to silence his wife
he snaps his fingers and pipes-"Hoop,
Iain-( ZepeLn,,d Lender