Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-10-21
JOURNALISTIC WIZ,

All QUA cigar stump New jersey
Enterprise.
81 guess I'll push along, is what the
man with the wheelbarrow said.-fY onkers
Statesman.
1t is pleasant to find four-leaved clover,
but beware of the poison " plant. Bcs-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
'sYes, said the farmer, "barbed wire
fences are expensive, but the hired man
doesn't stop to rest every time he has to
climb it. u Exchange.
A Cbinaman has written a poem on a
grain of rice. Let American poets follow
his example. Grains of rice won't ill MP
waste basket very fast Boston Post.
When West End woman wants to get
rid OF her husband for an hour, she sends
him up stairs to get something from the
pocket of one of her dresses.-[B Boston
Post.
The meanest kind OF mean man is the
man who will at this season give to tramp
a straw hat, when he knows that il the
tramp wears it he'll get guyed to death. =
Bonneville Journal.
We noticed in a recent issue Of Provi-
dencs daily nearly column of patent
medicine advertisements, below which was
the card Of well. known undertaken.
Providence Transcript.
Boxers new drama, Francisco di Rim.
I'M, averages death every five minutes
during its presentation. We shouldn't
object if the cast included the average
American actor.-[New Haven Register.
There Is not much seasoning in this
dressing" said Brown at the dinner table.
" No, replied Fogg Mrs. Scrimpem has
good deal to do, and she tries to save all
the thyme she can. "-[ Boston Transcript.
Oaly as a brother "My teeth are all
full of sand" said the fairest bsther in
the surf "Al right, hand them out"
said an admirer, :" and I'll rinse them off
for you" And now she regards him only
as brother.-[Puck.
An easy time Of it: "I don't ask any
mans advice" said the man with the big
bump CT self-esteern. u do my own
thinking" Yes" marmured Fogg, {"
should think you might, and pos be over.
worked, either.-[ Boston Transcript.
"Vy, my tear poy," he said at Long
Branch Tuesday, "dare ish no blaze like
der seasides in Septober der air is fine
like silk, and der prizes a. der boarding
houses ish Sleeper dan living at home, SO
dare !'-[New York Mail and Express.
Fathers often make q great mistake in
trade. A Philadelphia trunkmaker was
wiser. He had ten sons, and all are now
brakemen on railroad passenger trains.
That trunkmaker is getting rich Phila-
delphia News.
An exchange states that 10000 acres of
raw oysters have been discovered in the
North sea. This gratifying intelligence,
indeed /; but had they been found stewed,
or even fried, the public would be more as-
tonished than please l.-[New York Com.
mercial Advertiser.
The Bishop OF Limerick being in failing
health his physician recently told him it
wo1ld be necessary for him to seek rest and
change of air at Nice. The Bishop posi-
lively declined to do so. Then said the
doctor, plainly "My lord, tell you can
didly, your case Is a most serious one, and
If you do not go to Nice you must very soon
go to heaven" "Oh, well, in that case,
replied the Bishop, dismally, 81 will go to
Nice. "-[Exchange.
An obligipg landlady: A guest at the
taOle VI u Doaruin2- uouse On Tue CaIsklii
Mountains, who was about to tackle a
dried apple pie, addressing the landlady,
said : DO you think You could furnish
me with bit of cheese ?" 81 don't know
whether there is any," she answered in a
cas-. iron tone OF voice, "but if you'll have
little patience I'll send waiter to look
through the mouse. traps and see. ~ Brook.
lyn Eagle.
A prominent Chicago politician, more
noted, indeed, for his politics than his cult.
ure, went through the Joliet Penitentiary,
accompanied by bis younger brother, boy
named Hugh, and party of gentleman, q
couple of weeks ago. Hugh acted as cice.
rome for enc part of the crowd, and stopped
to shake hands with variegated gentle.
man whom he addressed as Rooster. y
When Rooster had clanked away, the
clergyman OF the party turned to Hugh
and asked 60 What is your unfortunate
| friend there for Z" "Scratchiu' de shin.
GLE" What" "Why, totin' de chips.
Il still don's understand" "He faxed
de casers out o de work basket" ar eally
/" Oh Greedy, can't you understan
muffin? Tappin' de till."-[Chicago Times
SACKCLoTH AND ASHES. -Mrs. Percy