The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-07-11

A lawyer once Shld w N""'J
in smock frOck who was undergoing
his examination in the witness box
lyon in n smock frock, how are you
paid for lyingP" LESS than you are
Unfortunately was the reply, "or You
would he in a smock frOck, too. !"
Apropos of a recent acquiItal, an old
friend If ours recalls Lachaud's famous
mot The most successful criminal law
YER of his time, he had just obtained the
release of a client your innocence is
acknowledged, - he said TO his client; Il
congratulate YOU; but, take my advice,
YOU had better not do it again.
"And 50 YOU love June better than
any other month"; she said, gazing at
the Young farmer from the blue abysses
of her soft dreamy eyes beautiful,
leary June, with its roses, and It's song
birds, and its RECOMMENDATION zephyrsP
"Ycs." he replied, nonchalantly. ITS
the best month to wcan calves.
A celebrated musician once said of n
beautiful but apathctic singer: "She
sings well, but she wants something, and
in that something everything If !
were single would court her; | would
marry her would break her heart;
and in six months she would be the
greatest singer in Europe.
"Shes dear good girl" said st.
Louis young man in reference to a Chi
caco fair one; IL assure YOU, father she
is all soul" Yes replied his stern
parent, the old prejudice against the
Garden City embittering his words; II
saw her footprint in the sand 10y the
lake side. You are right; she Is all
SOLE
Said Brown. who had just returned
from visit outside between the acts.
ooh, darling, | had such fright! 1t
almost took my breath away" "Mer-
cy, exclaimed Mrs. b., turning her face
away; Il wish it had. John And
John looked sheepish enough, As he
shyly inserted Glove in his mouth.
A Methodist clergyman named Way,
of a rather iocular nature and very ca
daverous build, was recently accoSted
by man, with the inquiry; Are YOU
Pastor Way?' Passed away" was
the response: bless YOU. no! I'm a
good deal of a skeleton, I'll own, but l
haven't quite passed away yet
A bald-headed man who purchased a
front seat for a show OF the Black Crook
brand explained that he could not hear
ycry well \ few nights later he was
seen at lecture, sitting on seat tarth-
est from the stage OF course he might
have fully recovered his hearing in three
days, but such apparent incongrmtleS
are apt TO occasion remark,
Stories are common enough of need
les travelling about in peoples bodies
and making their appearance in very
odd places But the most remarkable
case is related of a young woman in
New York, who got needle in her
wrist year ago, and the other day it
was removed from the right arm of q
young man who has been keeping her
company.
a Bible agent lately called at the
house of a Whitehall man, and, ringing
the door-hcll, the lady appeared. Wish
to buy Bible. ma amp" inquired the
agent mo, SIR wa, thereby. Eyes,
we do, ma" came from the little six
ycar-old in the hallway "for the old
one is all gone up 'cept one leaf, and
dad won't have nothin' to wipe his raz-
or on arter that's used up Buy one,
ma"
Our little BERTHE, when about three
years old, on being asked how his Aunt
Theresa looked, said, "Why, she looks
mhitc; how do YOU suppose?' Another
time, ut breakfast, eating warmed-up
potatoes, he asked, Mamma. did You
put butter in these potaiocs?' and be-
ing asked why, said, cause | teU u
smell of it in my mouth, -
A traveller says that, if he were asked
to describe the first sensation of cam
e-ridr, he would say Take a music
stool, and, having wound it up us high
rs it would 30, putit in u cart without
springs, get on top and nest drive the
cart transyclNcly across ploughed
field and yuu will then form some no
ton of the terror and uncertainty you
would experience the first time YOU
mounted a camel.