The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-06-21
Wit AND PILE asANrRIEs.


would have to confess to twenty-one years
to be entitled TO it-Boston Post.
a Wisconsin girl-baby having been born
with six arms, the Elmira Gazette and Free
Press fervently hopes that in due season one
young woman will be able to do up her back
hair in less than three hours.
sEThe man who is crazy to marry young
lady frequently becomes crazy after he has
married her. Sad, but trus.-Boston Star.
Very sorry to hear OF your mental plight.
Why didn't you marry an old lady.
Among the gifts of newly married pair,
the other evening, was a broom, sent TO the
lady, accompanied with the following senti-
ment: "Thi- trifing gift accept from me
its use l would commend-in sunshine use
the bushy part, in storm the other end"
"Your future husband seems very exact
ing; he has been stipulating tor sll sorts OF
things," said mother to her daughter, who
was about getting married. "Never mind,
mamma" said the affectienate girl, who was
already dressed for the wedding, ''these are
his last wishes"
Some time ago a very innocent young la
dy paid visit to lady friend who few
days before had presented her good man
with q son. She had, of course, to see ba-
by. After looking hsrd at the little stran-
ger some time, she remarked: "Dear me,
Maggie, how sunburnt it isl'
Typographical errors are funny things, as
well as most exasperating. In local paper
at Newport the reporter wrote of a new ap-
paratus for "wsshing windows in second
stories" The compositor left out single
letter, and the article appeared under the
heading, How to Wash Widows in Second
Stories. Boston Traveller.
a puzzle for orientalists has turned up in
the shape of an inscription in an unknown
character, not Phenician, nor Cypriot, nor
Lycian, hor Hamathite, which has been
found on contract tablet from Babylon
dated In the reign OF Artaxerxs. the
story that the description details scandal
S to be circulated in the hope of securing
its speedy translation.
TIE Bohemian relates that, In the conf
dence of the dressing-room, at party, one
dear girl told another girl that, uncertain
what color of stockings would best 60 with
her dress, she had put on two pairs, and that
dear girl, No. 2, said decidedly that the IN
der pair were the ones, just for the fun OF
seeing dear girl, No. !, make the trouble
truth OF this story.
4 bald-healed man who purchased a
front seas for show of the Black Crook
brand explained that be could not hear very
well. A few nights later he was seen at q
lecture, sitting on seat farthest from the
stage. OF course, he might have fully re-
covered his hearing in three days, bu. such
apparent incongurities are apt to occasion
remark.-The Judge.
They we're South End people. The
Young man, who was very much in love,
told his friend that he should bring his girl
around to his house that evening and have
her sing and play the piano. Shall come
at o'cloek?" he eagerly asked. "Well,'
said the friend, refectively, make it 6
O'clock; and recollect we go to bed at 81"
de had heard the girl sing before.
Patrick has a great power of enjoyment
after all, and always laughs at the right
time. One day he saw bull attack a man
and he had to hold on to his sides with both
hands, the scene was so funny. After little
the animal turned his attention in another
direction, and poor Patrick, after exploring
the heights, came down with thump on
the other side of the fence. He rubbed his
wounds, and as he trudged along the worse
for wear he said 20 himself, Faith, Pm
glad / had my laugh when / did or 1
wouldn't have had it at ALL"
A farmer who had some cider to sell was
pricing teas and found they had risen sew
ersl cents pound. What's made tea riz2r
said be. Scarcity of tea chests" said the
merchant. However, he agreed to take
some to be paid for in cider. How much's
your cider?" asked the merchant. Given
" cents" Twenty centsp cried the
merchant. "What are you asking such
price as that for2' ''Cause bung. holes is
source" said the farmer.
Tit for Tat.
The late Rev. DR.. Bellows was one of the
most genial Of men, but no could hi hard
when ne had minded to:
Dr.. Bellows was told by grumpy Gen.
Hallsck, when BE tried to interest him in
the Sanitary Commission, 81 hate philan-
"And we hste generals" said DR.. Bel
lows; ''that is," he added, 'bogus generals,
L mean; just as you mean bogus philanthro-
pists, OF course"
The WAY Bridget Looked 1t.
"Yes, that's the spot. You can see what
8 beautiful aesthetic splash it is" and she
knelt softly.
"Oh, how TRANQUILITY delicious, so-so-pur-
pleish- plumbing in color, with such Ian
guild tendency 20 spread" answered her
friend
"Yes, that just delineates it; and wsat
breadth of expression-it is positive
genius.' ]
al think num-" said the scrub lady. "you
moight get it out with gall. I've herd"
"Heard, not heerd, Bridge!ins. And as
10 that splash on the carpet-no money
would tempt me to have 1t erased. Why, |
hat is where dear Mr.. Oscar Wilde upset |
nis inkstand when be so kindly permitted |
is to entertain him on his recent tour. He
s the apostle of beauty, Bridgetina."
Faith thin, if he was the Apostle Peter
ne shouldn't sphoile me foine carpet like
hat" retorted the lady from Galway.
Making Remarks.
While was in western hotel few |
lays ago had an engagement for 3 o'clock
sharp. / was at the dinner table when the
clock struck hslf-past 2, and / had some
distance to go. wanted cup of coffee. 1t
was brought. For wonder it was hot. /
quickly poured part of the smoking bever-
age in my SANGER and was drinking it when
\ very pretty girl, with banged hair,
&. 500 diamonds in her ears and copy OF
Henry Dunbar by the side of her plate, said,
10 that distinctly heard her, to her
mother, fat woman with queer top knot