davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1882-02-25
A Conductors Practical Joke.

A few days ago promising young merchant
of Butte left for visit to San Francisco, and
by happy coincidence met a lady on the train
who was going few miles down the road to
see her mother. Being slightly acquainted
they became engaged in conversation, and
soon afterward fell into blissful slumber, the
lady on one seat and the gentleman on the
other. On the train was Sheriff, who hap
pened to have with him pair OF handouts,
and the conductor of the train being well ac-
uuainted with the travellers above mentioned
proposed to the officer to play practical joke
on the innocent slumberers. Assent was
giyen. and the conductor, taking the hand
cuffs, cautiously approached the unconscious
na1r and attached their listless arms by the
official ieWelry. He then raised racket, and
the sleepers awoke with start, only to find
that in their sleeping innocence they had been
Joined together, and that no man without d
kew could part them asunder.
They all Joined merrily in the laugh, and
though the gentleman CALAMITY avowed his cap
tiyity u most pleasant one, the lady had most
arrived at her destination, and asked Tor d
separation. Then and there the trouble arose.
The Sheriff had lost the key, and the situa-
ton. which had before been regarded as right
mcrrilv conceted jest grew embarrassing in
the extreme. The key could not be found,
and at the next station the conductor was
obliged to procure file and go through the
tedious process of filing the wristlets SO that
the travellers could proceed on their Separate
WAYS rejoicing The conductor stasss that
the next time he plays practical joke he will
vigorously avoid the gentle handcutf.-Mo's-
/ tcga Inter Mountain.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1882-02-25
Floor Cleaning.

There can not, | think, be doubt
that for the bedroom floor dry cleans
ing is always the best. Water destroys
the varnish ON stained and painted
floors, making them patchy and dirty
looking; water destroys the cyenness OF
surface; water makes the adoption OF
the waxed floor almost impossible; wa
ter when it is used often percolates into
the Joints of the foor-boards, causing
them to separate and become holders OF
dirt; and, lastly, if water be used for
cleansing, the chances are many in the
course of year that the. room will be
washed on some damp and foggy day,
the boards will dry imperfectly, and,
though at bedtime they may be to APP
pearance dry, they will not be SO entire
ly, while the air of the room will be still
charged with moisture; so that although
the sleeper does not get into a damp
bed, he does get into a damp bedroom,
which in some respects is equally inju-
rious.
1 have seen such very bad results from
damp sleeping-rooms, in which the
dampness of the air had been caused by
washing the floors, that do not press
the lesson I wish to enforce at all too
forcibly or earnestly.
When from any circumstance the
floor of the bedroom cannot have given
to it vanished or Waxed surface
when, for example, the floor is con-
structed simply of deal planks-it may
seem to be absolutely necessary to
clean the surface with water. These
floors, moreover, are just the floors that
hold water the longest, and for all rea-
sons are least adapted for water
cleansing. How, then, it will be said,
are such floors to be cleansed? They
are most easily cleansed in one dry
way, viz, by dry scrubbing with saw
dust. The servant takes up a small
pailful of clean, fresh saw-dust, and,
taking it out by handfuls, spreads it on
the floor, and, with hard, short,
bristled brush, scrubs with the saw.
dust as though she were using water it.
self. When the whole surface has been
scrubbed in this way, she sweeps up the
sawdust and finds beneath it a beautiful
clean and dry floor; or, if there be left
any part still dirty, she easily remedie:
the defect by an additional scrub a
that part. When all is finished sht
carries the dirty sawdust away, and de
stroys it by burning it in the kitchen
fire. White sand may be used instead
of saw-dust for the same purpose, but i
is not SO convenient, and is not SO quicl
cleanser as sawdust. The same
sand, if sand be used, can be applied
several times, if it be cleansed by wash
ing and afterward heating it over thu
fire until it is quite dry.-Appleton
Journal.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1882-02-25

turned to the house before it was too
late. If he were alive when morning
dawned he should know how bitterly she
had repented.
She remembered how she had tritied
with him when once, the summer be-
fore, he had told her that he loved her
more than he had ever loved any thing
before or ever could again. She had
not meant to drive him away from her;
she had only meant to tease him Tor
little. But he had taken it all in earn
est, and now, of course, he had ceased
to think of her except to despise her.
If he had continued to love her, would
he have been SO long silent? She lit
tie knew that the man who was all sin
cerity could not understand the insin-
cere.
He would never care for her now, of
course, and she loved him with all the
| force of her strong, ungoverned heart.
After that night of agony she could new
er be the same.
The pale daylight dawned upon her
white face The wind died slowly down,
as the sun came up the troubled sky.
The ruin OF the night was reyealedto the
weary watchers.
Three men came slowly up the hill,
tired, hungry, halftrozen, but safe.
They had made a comparatively warm
nest for themselves in the hay, where
they had passed the sleepless night:
The part of the barn which sheltered
them and the cattle and horses had been
uniniured, and not p man or beast had
been hurt by the falling beams.
Mrs. Wellington could not be induced
to remain an unnecessary moment ID the
terrible place, and late in the after
noon the subdued party were in the cars
returning to Boston. Thornton con
fessed that it was the most unct N fort
able night he had ever passed, but that
he would cheerfully have undergone far
greater hardships for the reward that il
brought him. Before they reached the
city he had learned Of the agoay which
the nights suspense had been to Maud
and she had acknowledged her love fol-
him in answer to the passionate reltera
ton Of his devotion to her. And this
was the work of an East Bl0U!-Ca.ur
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1882-02-25
THE LITTLE MAN.

A little man. in brand-new suit
Of clothes from out the store;
Nor speck Of dirt nor stain of fruit
His natty garments bore.
His jacket and his trousers were
His first, and spick and span;
And pride soon exercised its spur
Upon this little man.
And felt he prouder than King
In his complete array;
To see him round the parlor swing
Was better than play.
Deep in his trousers pockets thrust,
Make sure were both his hands,
And richer he with cents in trust
Than owner large Of lands.
:" Papa he cried, as stopped he short
@ Beside his fathers knee
~' Papa, me loves 90 tos 90 bought
'Ese nice new tose for me:
And, nanny, me be 'eal dood boy,
An teep ese toes so team;
Me do an buy me poorly toy,
10 pay i'll house. l mean
t'Me ony 'tay little vile,
An tum light in aden,
An den till dinner me will pay
18th Donnie Hay an Ben.
Me teep my tOse 80 team, papa,
Me dit on dem no dirt;
Me do away fOm house not far,
An ont fell down dit hurt"
An hour passed on the little man
Returned with face all blood;
Without cap indoors he ran,
His clothes befouled with mud
Between his sObs, for breath hard pressed,
A tale of strife he told
'''At Donnie Hay topped on my foot,
An den we bof taut hold,
IS An felled all down an oiled all 'ound;
He bite my fingis sore;
Me Sc atch his face, my nose he pound,
An ban-new towsis tore;
Me hit i'm bat, an pulled he hair
So hard I ever tan,
ri "a jJnly INa
an Ise q title nanr'
-HdrIoer's Young People.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29
The Argument III a Nutshell.
BY REV. WIN. GooDELL.

l. If drunkenness is sinful, then
the drinking usages Of society are
sinful.
2. If the drinking usages of so
ciety are sinful, then the liquor
traffic is sinful.
3. If the liquor traffic is sinful,
then the licensing of it is sinful.
4. If the licensing of it is sinful,
then voting for those who authorize
the licensing Of it is sinful.
5. If voting for those who license
or authorize the licensing of the
traffic is sinful, the voting for a po-
litical party shat lives only by
main aiming the liquor-license sys-
tenn, being in partnership with it
and partaking of its unrighteous
gains, is sinful also.
6. If it is the duty of christian
ministers to preach against sinful
drinking usages of society, against
the sinful liquor traffic, against the
sin of voting for those who license
it or authorize the licensing, anC
against the sin of voting for a pc
litical party that lives only by
maintaining the liquor-license sys
tenn, being in partnership with il
and partaking of its unrighteous
profits.
7. Ifsuch are the duties of chris
tian ministers, then it is equally
the duty OF the people, especially
of church members, and churches
to sustain faithful ministers wht
thus preach and practice in accord
ance with their instructions.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29

your story depicts. We were once
young and upon the apple tree
racket Ourselves"
Good day." said the author,
starting for the door.
Go long," was the response.
Make George act like a white man
IN your story, and come around
again. y CbicaQo Tribune.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29
They Turned a Rule.

Less than three months ago a
wreck of man staggered into the
office Of a weekly paper in Eastern
Michigan and asked for money to
buy whisky. Strangely enough
the publisher was an old school
mate. They were boys together.
They were apprentices in the same
town. They worked side by side as
finished compositors One had so
briefly and thrift-the other had a
good heart and an open hand.
Twenty years made one rich and
infuential-the other a drunkard
who slept in the gutter as often as
in bed. The one had made use of
what God had given him, but the
other had deliberately made HIM
self wreck.
The meeting called up host of
recollections, and the contrast be-
tween their situations was SO great
that the old dru nkard was sobered
as he realized it. He was offered
work, but he had become too bro
ken. The stick and the rule were
no longer for him. He was offered
temporary home, but he looked
at his rags and felt his shame for
the first time in months. When
money was handed him he waved
it back and said
81 shall not want it. | ask IN
the name of olden days and as a
fellow-craftsman, one little favor"
st shall be granted" "
"When you know that ] am dead
then turn rule for me and give
me a single line"
The promise was made and the
old wreck fl ,ated out again on the
current Of life, borne here and there
and feeling tina; death was to be
the end. Yesterday a copy OF the
weekly reached the Free Press with
proof that the editor had fulfilled
his promise. He had turned a rule
for the poor wreck, and had given
him a line:
That was all, but in that line
was such a sermon as no man on
earth could deliver. For every
word there was a year Of woe and
DEGRADATION. For every letter there
were tears and heartaches, and
promises and failureS.-Detrolt FREE
Press.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29
Freeman Free.

To all Ministers, the FREEMAN will be sent
for 81 90 a year. in advance. Better still-to
any Minister sending $500 with the names of
two yearly subscribers the FREEMAN will
he sent, free, for one year.
Regular Terms-sl.50 year-same rate for
shorter time. Address,
FREEMAN. Parkersburg. w. Va.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29
Winter Campaign-treeman Fif
ty Cents.

Send in names by ones, twos,
fyes and tens, for the FREEMAN,
from now till April 1, 'S3, far SO
cents.
This will take readers through
the coming session of the Legisla-
ture.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29
A Modern Novelette,.
The Horse Reporter Objects to the He
ro's Want Of Pluck.
"Good day."

"Good day"
A very nice looking young man
stood in the doorway Of the edito-
rial room and gazed in a benign way
at the occupants Of the apartment.
"Would it be possible for me to
sell the Tribune a story" he con-
tinued.
"What kind of tale have you
ground out?" asked the reporter.
The story" said the visitor, "is
one in which the triumph Of love is
depicted, and"
lit isn't one of those, and as
Ethel stood there in the soft moon
light, her little figure sharply out
lined against the Western sky,
there was a loud crash in Coastcliff
Castle, and the girl knew that her
mother had dropped the doughnut
lar kind Of stories, is it?-because
they won't do" said the horse re-
j porter.
There is nothing at all about
4 doughnuts in this story" replied
\ the visitor, rather haughtily, "but
q if you like l can read portion Of
"All right"
"Where shall 1 begin?"
Anywhere" replied the horse
reporter. suppose you give US
Hthe last sentence of it."
Il should hardly think"
cob, never mind about that.
We do all the thinking for young
authors that come up here"
The visitor seated himself and
read as follows:
For answer Gladys beautiful
eyes dropped, but she gave him
both her hands, and there, under
the heavy fruited trees, the golden
bees flying all about them, and the
Dir filled with their dreamy mono
: tone, he drew her upon his breast,
& Rnd, raising her long ringlets to
y his lips, kissed them reverently."
"That's the last sentence, is t?'
Ii asked the morse reporter.
B Eyes, sir"
81 should hope it was. 1t makes
h9 tired to read about such ducks"
"Why, | don't see began the
author.
"Of course you don't. Probably
you were the hero OF the novel
Dld you ever hear of Thompson s
eolt?o
The visitor admitted his ignor-
ence concerning that historical an
ANAL.
well, Thompson's colt" contin-
PED the horse reporter" was such
r. eternal idiot that he swan
across the river to get a drink
Vow that fellow in your story is a
Qead match for him
Il Il don't understand"
q "Probably not. 1t is not expect.
r. Of literary people. But [ tel
you, this young fellow in your sto
n is out under an apple tree hold
r. girls hands, isn't he?"
Il Yes"
And, according to the story, he
9alSed her long ringlets to his llp'
nd kissed them reverentiy.' Tha1
Ifght?"
Certainly"
"Now, what do you think Of
tyoung man that would go nibblln&
aound a girls back hair when sh'
nad her face with her? Such sto
les do not possess the fidelity t.
aRture that should ever character
ze the work of genius. No, my
fnial imbecile, you cannot get thu
selght of this powerful journal OF
Pc side of any such young man a
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-29

M1RAcULoUs.-The West Union
Record has a miracle for us this
week. 1t tells how a six-year-old
son of Mr.. J. T. Johnson, while
with his father hauling stone, was
run over by a wagon loaded with
1000 pounds of stone, and although
the wheels passed directly over the
bows body, he was out playing an
hour after, apparently sound and
well, with only small red mark
showing where the wheels passed
over him. This is the Records sto-
ry, not ours.
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-11-10
Fashion Notes.

Street cdstumes are either very
gar or very sob.r.
A great deal of red will be worn
by little people.
Arabi red Is the newest and live
liest shade Ot this efiior.
The fshwifrs poke Is the novel
~ for little girls wear.
Tau colorr'l, long -wFiStel loosa
gloves are the first tavOrites OF fash
ion.
Little girls wear pclliSses similar
to thnSe OF their mothers aud older
SISTERS
Plush is as irequenil-' nSrd for
children's dressy wraps as for larger
people.
Little girls dresses are even more
quaint aud picturesque than in
summer.
Plush artificial flowers and leaves
ar, striking, elegant novelties IN
millinery,
Combinations of materials in eon-
tmsting colors appear IN Paris i'm
ported costumes.
Fashionable women wear laced
shoes, but the button-bo0t is 10y no
meaus discarded.
A skirt OF bright plaid worn with
u Jacket OF imperial blue makes II
very attractive costume.
Jersey waists in new forms will
he worn by girls and little children,
and to a limited extent by ladies.
The same variety aud latitude III
color aud materials appear in chill
dren's clothing M in that OF Older
people.
The FIRST fall wraps for children
are OF dark, rich.toned, iiae woolei
plaids, in pelisse.like foIms, Will
plated shoulder caps.
The turban aud Tam OShanteI
cap aud Turkish fez IN red wool'
aud red cashmere will be much
worn by little children under 10.
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-11-10
Uncle Nose ExpOulds the Scrip
lures.

Galveston News.
jim Webster, y sadd e.colored
sport, provoked quarrel with old
Uncle Nose, and the consequence
was that the Old man got on his
muscle aud gave Jim fearful
pounding. They were, however,
separated by mutual friends before
any very serious damage had been
done to either of these distinguish
ed colOred citizens.
"Yuu got le better OBJ me dis
time,n said Jim, wiping the end oi
his nose with his elbow, and exam
ining it to see it there WAS any
blood on il. "Dat ar is de tust
time | eber kuowe,l de hiud leg ob
mule to grow on outen dc shoul-
der ob Il rheumatick ole niggah."
"Dat ain't hit," re 'ponded old
Nose, rnnnlug his arm through 4
hole in his GOA in h efforts to put
it on. "De trouble wild you new.
fangled nigglhs is yon don't search
de scriptures
WHAT'S dat got to do wld dis
pus0nal altercashm Z"
"You asked ne to fight yer,
didn't yeri'
" Dat's u fact.
"And yer knocked me frst,
didn't yerp
"Dems de kerrect returns"
&" Well, den, ct yon la searched
de Bible you mout hab sknowed III
advance what was gwine ter be de
result ut De campaign.'
"Will yer please exponnd dat
are, Uncle Nose p
"Dr Bible says, ask aud ye shall
receive, knock and ye shall bc
knocked. You asked, and yer got
it, didn't yerf You knocked, aud
ser got de w.pd and some ob yel
teet knocked, didn't yeri tell
yon Jim Webster, aud all you nd
der Bob Ingersoll sinners, dat dal',
whole keerloads 0b wisdom in ia
blessed book, ct yer studies 1t prar
FULLY aud in de rite speret."
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-11-10
HOME.

OH what Is hsmsi that sweet eomPan-
ionshir,
OF life the better part;
The happy smile Of welcome on the LIP
Upsprinsing from the heart.
1t is the eager clasp Of kindly hands.
The long-remsmbered toss.
The ready sympathy which understands
All feeling by its own.
Tas r.sy cheek Of little children pressed
To eurs in loving glee.
The presence of eur dearest, and our best,
No matter where We be.
And. failing this, prince may homeless
live.
Though palace walls are nigh;
And, having 1t, desert shore may give
The joy wealth can not bsy.
Far.reaehing as the esrth's remotsst span
Widespread as ocean foam,
One thought is sacred in the breast o.
man
Ii is the thought of home.
That little word his human faith shal
bind
With destinies above,
For there the home OF his immortal ninc
Is in Gods wider love.
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-11-10
A Midnight Ride.

Mississippi Methodist.
A story has been told me about
how Bishop Paine got the advan
tage of the boys while he was pres
ident of Lagrange College. Tue
boys took into their heads to play a
prank ON DR.. Paine Their plan
was to steal his carriage from the
hous-, and take it down the noun
tain and hide it in the wools. DIR.
Paine got wind OF their plans and
found out the night st for their
execution, and had himself locked
up in the carriage house, and got
into the carriage and closed the
doors hard and fast. a ,out mid
night the boys came aud after
much hard work got the carriage
house doors of the hinges, AMI haul.
ed the carriage out in great glee.
At first they moved slowly and
stealthily; but tue further they
went the more bUlSter0uS they be-
came. They had mnch talk by the
way about how mad Mr. Paine
would be aud the ugly things he
would say when he found his car.
ridge missing. 1t was Il grand frol
ic, Il real good Joke and the boys EN-
ioyed it immensely. They hauled
the carriage out into the woods aud
hid it to their entire satisfaction (;
and, then, one of the ringlea ,erS
proposed three cheers before they
started home. These were lus,ily
given, when DR.. Paine put his hral
out of the carriage door and said,
Young genJlemen: | am much ob
liged for this nice ride and | will
thank you it you will pull ne back
home again" The boys were con
siderabIy crest-fallen, but did the
ouly grac, ful thing that conld be
doue under tue circumstances
They tugsed away at the carriage
and learned by experiences that a
wheeled vehicle is harder 10 pull NJ
hill than down. When they put
the carriage away, DR.. Paiuo hank.
ed the boys kindly aud said, "Pil
tell you young gentlemen this Ia
! the gayest trolic | have had for a
long time" This was the last time
the boys tried to play praclicsI
joke on Dr.. Paine. The Doctor did
not fret aud scold-he simply beat
the boys at their own game aud
then allowed them to go scotttree.
This story is canonical aud mol
apochraplial.
GILDERoY.
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-11-10
NUMBER 81
Rapid Eating.

To boast OF special skill-IS
SOME do in the matter OF e.g.it ?
with diSlSateh,' is 70 elain :
relationship 10 the swine, byena,
and scAvengeTs IA general, sap
pOsed 10 be the most rapid Gators
among tue brutes. Sach eating
not only requires no special N
tellecij no superior phy sisAl ABILITY,
but is decidedly preiudic.al %
health, NOT TO say unretiRed.
When food is thus eaten, es.
pecially the niOFe s0li'i aud tonSh,
u Is utterly impossible 10 eiIew Il
sufficiently, while II can not b.
properly combined With tna SILVA.
IA solvent prepared 10 an eX,eat u
Indicate its use aud importaaCs'
from three aud halt poan,ls 10 six
In twenty. -four hours. Tns primary
object of chewing is TO SO dlviis
| the food that this juice may be mix
ell with every part, the linen 50
presenting AN Increased Surilc'',
the act OF chewing acting On the
salivary glands, in kind OF m.lk.
ing process, which, ia addition 70
the excitement OF the food, causes
it to ooze out, thus attortling al
the liquids needed, without aay
artificial drinks. By this month.
digestion, SO to speak, reducing all
to a moist and tue palp, and only
by such processes, eau food Do
property fitted for the stomach.
lfnut well prepared for the stomach
IN tue mouth, the labor Of that Or
gan must be increased, doing its
own, with a putt pertaining To TIE
mouth. Ii is proper to add that
even the liquid foods cannot be so
prepared unless they are retained
in the mouth long enough to allow
the saliva to be incorporated with
them. 1t is also true that sucn
masses of TODD rs are throw into
the stomach by rapid eaters, eau
not be well combined With tho
stomach juice tgdslrlc,) from which
fact the stomach digestion must to
impertect. The outer surface only
! beng dissolved by tho gastric
juice, a part of tue solid mass Is
likely to pass into the bowel. la
an unpreparo | state, of course de-
ranging them, aud ,acreasias their
abors.
To say the least, rapid eating IL
but % preparation for our national
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS we may be
the most rapid eaters of tho civil
lied world.-Goiden Rule.
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-11-10

An exchange speaks OF the great
value of "chip dirt" for spreading
around young or newly set fruit
trees. inparting to them double
vigor in growth. 1t is simply the
benefit from good mulching. De-
cayed chips, leaf mold and dried
muck are all quite similar in their
nature as they tend strongly to
hold the moisture Ia the soil below,
aud Cannot form "A crust on the sur.
tace, they are we'll lifted for the
purpose. is probable that fire.
qnent stirring OF the surface OF the
soil about the tree would answer
the same purpose +; bnt, as planters
generally neglect this stirring OIL
perfecting in an etlicient manner
while the action of the decayed
vegetable matter caunot be hurt by
neglect, it has special advantage
over other modes OF treating young
trees.