New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-12-13
Spoopendyke's Water Jet

sprinkler auu UEdCeu IL WIFI Or1CkSS
''my dear, that makes considerable of q
fountain. I wish 1 had thought of it
BEFORE"
upon my words giggled Mrs.
Spoopendyke. .'Why you really are an
inventor. That's the best fountain
ever saw; but how are you going to
take it down?'' and Mrs. Spoopendyke
contemplated the fountain with consid-
cradle misgiving.
''Don't want to take it down!' grunt-
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke. lit comes down
itself by the natural law of gravitation.
Did you suppose that water intended to
squirt up in the air and wait for me to
bring it down on a step-ladder? Got
some kind of a notion that I was going
to tie a rope around the water and haul
it down. hadn't ye? Well, I'm not, and
I amt going to offer it any chromos to
come down. either!'' And Mr.. Spoop-
endyke seated himself on the lower step
and eyed his fountain with great deal
of satisfaction.
Chow long are you going to let it
squirt?' asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, anx-
ious to have the trouble begin that it
''Oh. / guess about twenty feet,''' re-
piled Mr.. Spoopendyke, measuring the
hight of the stream with his eye and
chuckling to himself. That's about
as long as the pressure will permit, and
I thought I'd let it 20 that far before
l hitched it up" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
shook all over as the full strength of his
joke impressed itself upon him.
Mrs. Spoopendyke watched the play
of the water in silence.
''P'raps you think I can't take that
fountain apart without getting wet?''
said Mr.. Spoopendyke at length.
''Maybe you have imbibed the idea that
when turn that water off I'm going to
be soaked. Well, I'm not. The head
that invented this fountain knows how
to keep itself dry" and Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke got up and walked around his
prize, his face beaming with smiles.
The water was falling in perfect show.
er upon the key box and in the after
noon sun the fountain looked remarka.
bly, pretty.
Mrs. Spoopendyke made no response
but patiently awaited developments.
''Now bring me the umbrella said
Mr.. Spoopendyke, preparing himself
forth the fiery, untamed umbrella!" and
as Mrs. Spoopendyke handed it to him,
he raised it, picked up his key and ap.
preached the stream. The umbrella
protected him from the down pour, bu,
as he bent over to turn the water off,
the Kissing shaft struck under the ging.
ham and raising the umbrella with q
vicious jerk, tipping Mr.. Spoopendyke
over on his beam ends.
He yelled AS soon as he recovered
breath. ''What did ye want to distract
my attention for?'' and he shook the UNI.
brella at his wife as soon as he rose
dripping to his feet. .'Another time
when I'm fixing this fountain you ge,
under the bed, ye hearp'' and Mr.
Spoopendyke glared around him and
approached the enemy once more.
This time he held the, umbrella
straight out before him., cropping along
behind it with the key. He had almost
reached the rod when the stream struck
the outside Of the umbrella, and, as i,
whirled, MIR. Spoopendyke spun around
landing in,a sitting position on the foun
tain, which lifted him about a foot and
landed him in the gutter.
''That's what ye were waiting to see,
was it?" he shouted at his trembling
wife. "Been roosting up there to watcE
this display of genius against brute
force! Got an idea hid away some
where that this fountain and me aim,
on friendly terms!'' and he whanqec
the umbrella across the steadily pour.
ing stream. got caught once more an0
landed in the gutter again, this time on
the back of his neck. ..How dye like
the show" he squealed, bounding t.
his feet There's going to be con
cert after the circus!' and he charged
once again with his umbrella, which
this time was jerked out Of his hands
and rolled over in the street. procure
your tickets of the gentlemanly ushers!'.
and he grabbed his weapon and made
another onslaught. ..Not that the cir.
Gus performance is concludedr' he con-
tinued as he fell clear over the stream
and rolled into the umbrella. THE
best is yet to come!' and in trying to
straighten the umbrella, which had
turned inside out, he caught the foun-
tain again and slid down it on to the
curbstone with sound like bung-
starter on a barrel.
my dear, why don't you-p'' be.
gan Mrs. Spoopendyke.
''Ain't Ip'' roared her husband.
':P'raps you know more about the per-
sonal habits of this than DOR and he
slammed at it with the umbrella and
kicked at it until his leg was loose.
MAY be you've got some political in
fluence here?' and lowering his head
behind the umbrella he charged again.
The water tipped the umbrella straight,
poured up into it and fell in defuge
on Spoopendyke's head and shoulders
Don't be alarmed ladies!'' he squealed.
There's no danger!' and he smashed
the umbrella down over it, like an ex-.
tinguisher. "a competent corps Of
officials always on hand;'' but at this
juncture the umbrella ripped from
handle to whalebone tip, the stream
caught Mr.. Spoopendyke under the chin
and landed him pale and easpin9
against the fence.
This is what meant, dear, = said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, boldly approach.
ing the fountain, kicking the nozzle