davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
A Mountain OF Iron.

Abouta mile north OF Durango, Iowa,
is a wonderful mountain OF solid iron
ore, called the Cerro del Mercado. The
ore is said to be entirely free from
phosphor and sulphur, and to assay
from fifty to seventy-five per cent. pure
iron ore. That part of the mountain
above the ground measures 1850 feet
long, l, 200 feet broad, 7O2 feet high.
The iron produced is 30 soft that it
bends and twists like wax, and will
bear comparison with the best Norway.
An English engineer has estimated its
value at S1O,OO0,OO0, and made the
somewhat astonishing calculation that,
at the rate Of 1000, 900 feet year it
would take over 800 yeais ~ ievel the
hill to the ground.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

WILL TRAVEL on HIS EXPERIENCE.-
"Wha, makes you walk so straight,
Johnny :" asked a fond mother, the other
day, as she saw her son making tracks
for the door
Johnny was silent.
Have you a stiff neck, sir :" asked
his mother, eyeing him sharply.
Aud Johnny, seeing he was coFnered'
replied;
Il cannot tell lie; it is pumpkin
pie that | stole from the shelf hard by,
and intended TO screen it under my
jacket and your eye"
At this junc,ure the pie dropped on the
floor and spread like a scandal.
Now, gentle reader, do you fancy his
mother caught him in her arms and cried,
and said she would rather have him steal
a thousand insignificant pies, and ruin
SSj worth of Administer carpet than tc
tell falsehood
She did not she reached for broom
and fetched him one in the small OF the
back that doubled him twice and thrice
and almos, tied him in bow-knot and
sen: flying through the door and off the
stoop as though he was running for first
base.
A little later. while rubbing himself
against shade. tree. he solemnly mur-
INJURED to the vagrant winds;
Il, may be right TO 60 to Sunday
school and tell the truth, but after this
shall travel on the straight lie. Perhaps
its better to be righ, than President, but
Id rather be wrong than have my back
broken in four places by broom stick.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
A STRAIGHT MAN.

/, used to be all the fashion with lect.
urers to have the Mayor of the town or
some other prominent citizen Introduce
them 10 the audience as send oil, and
upon one occasion in the years gone by
when a temperance lecturer struck a GER
tain town in Michigan not over fifty
miles from Detroit, the Mayor stood up
before the audience and began:
Ladies and-and-ladies and-and
"Gentlemen,' whispered the lecturer.
"Yes, OF course-ladies and gentlemen,
| have the honor to-,o-I have the hon.
or -to-to-."
Introduce" again whispered the lee
turer.
That's the checker-I have the hon.
or to introduce you to the notorious-em,
the honorable-the honorable Mister
Mister
Here occurred another painful pause,
during which the Mayor walked over and
asked the lecturer his name.
"Simpkins," was the reply.
~ have the honor to introduce he
repeated, as he walked back, 1.-THE hon.
orable Mister-Mister-hang it, never
could remember name two minutes
It's of no account, however. He and |
have been playing poker all the after
noon at the hotel, and | give you my
word that he is as straight as ten foot
pole. Git up, Judge, and shoot off your
lecture ."-Detroh Free Press.
The above reminds US Of an incident
we were witness to in 1861, while a
iourneyman printer in one of the smaller
cities of Maine. Artemus Ward was
announced to lecture in the largest hall
in the place, and it was noised about
that he was to be introduced by the
Mayor, DR.. p, who, by the way,
was a most genial gentleman, beloved by
everybody, but being no speechmaker
always bluudered whenever he attempted
to address an audience. At the appoint
ed time the hall was we'll filed by the
best people of the city, and when the
clock pointed to 7.S0 the Doctor arose
from his seat and. advancing to the front
of the platform, said:
Ladies and gentlemen-ahem-ahem
allow me to introduce to you the lee
turer of the Observation-Disclosures
Mr. Artemus-Artemus-er-er-Mr.
here long pause, the DR.. scratching his
head in the vain endeavor to recall to
mind which was the lecturers nom de
plume or his real me)-Mr. Artemus
Brown" The audience roared with laugh
ter, and the lecturer had hard work to
keep from joining in the merriment. The
Mayor, as soon as he sat down, recollect-
ed himself and saw his blunder, and we
do not believe that poor Artemus ever
forgot the courtesies shown him the next
day by tho worthy Doctor.-Port-
land 'Suwiuy Timss.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
The Editor.

The editor, children, is a member OF
that race of animals called mankind.
He is invariably kind man.
He is perfectly harmless. You may
90 into his den without fear. But he
has his peculiarities. The sight Of
poet makes him wild. He is then very
dangerous, and is apt to do bodily
harm to all within reach. He is also
much wrought up when man comes
in with little trihe he has Just dashed
of.
There is one thing that must be said
in the editors dispraise. His mind Is
SO biased by long thinking in a certain
direction, that he dislikes very much to
look upon both sides OF a question.
Therefore,, il you value your safety,
never approach him with manuscript
written on both sides OF your paper.
The editor usually writes with pen,
but his most cutting articles are the
product OF his shears.
And let me say right here, children,
that a good deal OF sheer nonsense has
been printed about the editor. He
nses his shears only when composing
an entirely original article.
The editor would make good public
speaker bat for his propensity for
clipping words.
The editors hardest task is to dispose
OF his time. His would be monoto-
nous life indeed, were it not for the
kindness OF the few hundred people
who call upon him every day, to enliven
his dull life with stories Of their
grievances, OF their brand-new enter
prises and with antediluvian anecdotes.
When you grow up to be men and
women, children, remember this, and
spend all the time You can in the
sanctum OF the editor. He loves COM
pany so much, you know, and some
times he has to sit silent and alone for
whole half-minute. Is it not too bad ?
The business OF the editor is to enter
tain itinerant lecturers, book canvassers,
exchange -fends and other philanthro-
pists. He gives his whole day to these.
He writes his editorials at night after
he has gone to bed.
The editor is never so happy as when
be is is writing complimentary notices.
For ten cents worth Of present he will
gladly give ten dollars worth OF adver-
tising-all on account OF the pleasure
it gives him to write, you know, chill
dren.
He loves also to write neat little
speeches and bright witty poems for
people without brains who wish to
speak in public. 1t is SO easy for him
to do this, that he is sometimes quite
miserable when an hour or two passes
without an opportunity to do some
thing of the kind.
The editor dimes ut oil the hotels free,
he travels free, theaters open wide their
doors to him, his tailor clothes him
gratis, his butcher and grocer finnish
him with food, without money and
without price. In short, his every
want is provided for. He spends his
princely salary in building churches
and school. houses in foreign lands.
By all means, children, be editors.
OF course it would be better il you
could be hod.carriers q dray-horses.
But as that is impossible, by all means
be editors.-Boston Transcript.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
Afternoon.

Sing, my heart, a cheerful song,
Though the shadows, growing long.
Show the sun descending;
Life hath been Joyous day
Faith and love shall smooth the way
To happy ending.
Sing, my heart, song OF peace
While the shadows still increase.
Hail, oh heart the calmer days
Greet the cooler, milder rays
OF the sun descending.
II old age should come apace
Welcome ii with gentle grace,
Patient wait the ending.
Sing, my heart, a song ofpeace,
While the shadows still increase.
q e. UdrSt.l.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
Relative Size OF States.

The figures commonly employed to
indicate the area OF the several States
OF the Union have been found to be in.
correct, and the census bureau has
issued an extra bulletin correcting the
prevalent errors so far rs it is possible
to do 30 from the data at hand. Ac.
cording to the old estimate, the area OF
the United States, exclusive OF Alaska,
is 3,O26, ,494 square miles; according to
the new estimate it is 3,025, 600, OF
which ZOO are coast water OF bays,
gulis, sounds, etc.; ii, 500 are made up
OF the areas OF rivers and smaller
streams, and $4,000 of the areas OF
lakes and ponds. There remains
total land surface Of about 2,97O,OOO
square miles. Virginia in the old esti.
mate has q total area Of 3S,34S square
miles; in the new AZ, $50, including a
total water surface OF 1926 square
miles. 1t is OF interest to observe
the wide contrast in area be-
tween, for example, California.
with her 15s,360 square miles,
and Rhode Island with 1880; or be-
tween Massachusetts,. with S,3l5 square
miles, and Texas with 265, 5,7SO. Arizona
has ll3,O2O square miles OF surface,
Colorado l03, 925. Dakota l49, 100. Mon.
tana 146,0s0, Nevada ll0,700, New
Mexico 1850. Delaware has 2,l5O,
and the District of Columbia 70. New
York, which has 40, 10, is not as large
as North Carol ma, which has $3.50,
and lacks nearly 10000 square miles Of
the area OF Georgia.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
1t had taken him some little time

1t Hau tdheu nIlh SOinc httie tiiue "
bring his tongue in accord with his mind,
but finally he stammered out, Will you
will you wander down life's path,
your hand in niue, while the goddess OF
love sings siren songs to US. Oh! will
you be my own, my angel" "See here,
if you want me to marry you, to make
life happy and home pleasant for you, to
keep the house slicked up nice, to cook
you relishable meals, to preside at your
table and at the piano with equal ability,
10 care for the children and bring them
up bright and smart, and to help you to
make the most of yourself in this world,
I'll jine hands with you" That's jus,
the practical sort of an angel | thought
you was. Jine." A good start.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

There is something radically wrong
about our professions, when q pious min
ister only gets forty cents for joining a
couple. while a wicked lawyer receives
forty dollars for untying the same.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
NUMBER 9.

THINK OF IT. Is llfa and health not worth
preserving The best preventive and rc-
storer. j. "Wels Health Reuewer. sold hy
all Druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
RETIRING FROM BUSINESS.
BY BRET HARTE.

tc..arlV. Tie purchased 10. Ca>h only.
- rcv,r grumblcd at the price Of any
N d. wanted Who could ask more
IN % that:
Curious people occasionally wondered
bow. wien /, bad been fully two years
since the Colonel. with every one else.
abandoned D.,ch Creek 70 the Chinese,
h, managed 70 spend money freely and
.7 o,. considerable AZ cards and hurse
-acs, Iu fact. ,he keeper Of one of the
tl....s, Hil >alOoa> which the Col
M. $40 n1, ra'ronjz.. was once heard
., womb r. sb>-n, mindedly, whether the
C.r.. alJata money mill somewhere
w..-. a- ,arnad oar eagle, and sings
-a- CPS, usme 10, h,ty-loIlar gold
q.e,
Wac1 81 important Pars'nlge as a
Ia ,eep.r Ia ulSvd Pua.cly n the idea,
ne ratsrrs1'> ot Challenge Hill, Ike
...i O'.I.o-n,tn. tv.ryN here. considered
.a,.t,, .c dg,y bound to give ii
c-,s considerations. 50 Tor a few days
certain industrious professional gentle
-e-. VITO won money OF TIE Colonel,
r.-.a..t weighed some ct the brigh;,s'
,.., a,j Rested them with acids, and
sawed '-cm IN two, and retired them,
-......i ,t,-r mp. and had the lumn,
....,,.
d.. ,s,.', was a corrIe,e vindica,i1r
O.. .e Colonel. and a loss Of con>id-
s-., custom 20 tac indiscrcc, oar
k..e-.
C.'rrI was g cood.natur,d
..f.f c,.- h.e, know, ON Cnsl.
r.-.. I.r. r.. bci-. mortal. the Col,-
.. lad l., u-,a..ln.I times 10. despon.
.,. a-a one a. them occurred alter
.--- = -.... ~ which be- hal S,aked
H,a..a b, b.yma!- e. Tips.s' aad had
I..s.-c re2-aactflllv a, bis beloved
a.-... be- ...,G @, heed the aching void
.. ., rrs,,>. and dr.akirg deeply.
>s....-,. .,....er,., and Glazing defiant
...-- v...krI were ,8ua.l, uaprO-
.a.. coin.
T.. -.,..- ,f, saloon >,rr,s,h,zcd
-.. ... ..--r. v.-- --. ClI.cl Trcy
v... ......,r, 81, their Invitations -
.... All .t., ,,,....,E ,.n>i4,-,hl,
...... ............. .,,t,, ,b. Colonel
...... ....-..l .,,m ,,,,, ,-e M,
ID ..,,-.a.,..oa p, matter how
.,-.,.,...c. Ba'uuapprccia,ed SYM
t.-.. -..N, decidedly 'irr,ome 90 The
.t... ..I i. U,, with feeling Of Ie,i-:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

one Of the editors ofthe New York .NaU.
has acted aS a referee in more than 100 dog
and glove lights. New York is the place
for IN editor to climb up.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

Compare tie dose aad G"anuiy az E.o.F
sarSaF7rIila AMI yon iiar' con lusNa p-1'
Is superior strength an cAearacsi. H.. o..
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

Finy .housand almanacs were distribut-
ed free in Louisville last week. and yet .u
three days after not oGe man in q hundred
could tell Whom The moon fnlLel.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

\ pure, wholesome distillatiou of witch
hazel, American pine, CaGsda Or. mari
gold. clover blossoms etc. fragrant with
tie healing essences of balsam aud Ofpinc.
Such j. Sanlord's Radical Cure for Ca'arr.t
Inrnrl.fr rr..aI rnnnf fLr
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17
HOOD
SAsSSPARIL.L.A

Has decided" claims upon the Uut..e. Ta's
is spositlyely proven By Tie Immense good b.
has done 10 those who have been cured e..
diseases from which thCy have suffered Co..
tenSely for years. as verified hy ilr PUBLISH
eel testimonials, every one Ui when l' pos
tive fact.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

The PIri,anS have eaten 80 iacka>sc-
this year. Ifa P1risenuc says you look
good enough 10 eat You Will know how o.
value the compliment
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

CHELSEA, VI, Feb. -. ls.'.
MEssRs. c. ]. HOOP & Co. Lowell. Mass
The 9th dav OF last June ! We, taken sics
with swelling Oh ms right foot, and With on
awful rain The swelling went an over me.
NV face was sWelled So that could W.th dt-
lcully see Out OF my eyes and ! broke O.i
over ihe whole surface e.. my body, my lielI
foot Up 10 my knee WAS one raw, itciius
mass and Hy ankle and foot 50 lame lIt
sore I could not step on IL. and 10 W,uid tun
so oas 10 wet 4 bdndagc through ,n lu hour
In this condition Nj. ". +. Hood ,oi ,he INN
of 4 H. Hood ~ son, druggists. 0f this Town
handed me bottle oi HOOD's SARsAPAlil-
IN.ald told me 10 take 10. did so. and lt
the time had taken one bottle found That
IL MS doing me good. ! have since taken
five bottles more. After had taken ihie"
bottles my soreness began 10 leave me- ana
have been growing better every Gay, $50
thai io-dav can walk without going lame.
! have no soreness in my ankle anu u Ld'
healed al up. and does NOT run ~ au' J 3"e
my recovery 10 Your SaISlp1rlia. Wlltf
this 60 lrt You know tlat think X er,cl'r
the conf idcuce df the public. especially th'-t
who are troubled with humorS.
Yours most truly.
JOSIAH PTTKfN.
P.S. Every person that saw me saln thdt
never would get over my llmrnt>, Wi'H"u|
having a running sore ON lht aHAit' bDl
yliank God have. -
Noothcr Sarsaparillah has such a sharpening
effect upon the appetite. No other prepa-
ration tones and strengthens the digestive
organs like HooDs SARsAPARILLA.
Price one dollar, or six bottles for Eve doll
lars. Prepared only by {. /. HOOD 90.
ApOihecafieS. Lowell, Mass.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

There are said to be no poor houses an, an'
iaiis in Norway Tn 70 is strange W" al
ways supposed Norw.N' was " c'''''|.'
Christian country.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

PONDER oN THESE Truths -hidncy-
Wort Is natures remedF for kidney
ney and liver diseases, pile. ana constipl-
ton. Sediment or mucous in the urine is
a sure Indication OF disease. Take Kidney
Wort. Torpid liver and kidneys poison The
blood kiduey-Wort reyiNeS them auu
cleanSes the system. Headache, bilious
attacks. dizziness. and loss ofappetite are
cured by Kidney-Wort. See advertise
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

Sins of the fathers visited on the chill
dren. Physicians say that scroiulou- tailt
canuo, be eradicated; We deny it lin Co.
to" lryou 20 through thorough course
Of Burdock Blood Bitters, your blood Wi
get as pure as you can WISH. Prices. l.nI,
trial size ln cents
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-01-17

Extensively used, is the verdict regard
inc nr Graves Heart Regulator IL cure
ro- Ucart Disease. Il has been extensively
used IN all forms Of Heart Disease. snch a'
Enlargement, palpitation. spaSmS' rheui'l-
,i.,n md bony formation. The many ',>-
tinoniaiS received from all parts OF t'y
country Is convincing proof OF u, Srn'
for n free ns pphlet 70 F. J.. ingalls, ,2"-
cord.N r. p, zee. 5oc.and SL'9 per D''l'''
For sale by dri 'gglsIs.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1882-11-07

Col. r. H. Gamble left for Baltimore last
week.
Mrs. F. Gotten returned from North Caro-
lima last week
MIR. J. T. Perkins, ST., arrived from New
York few days ago.
Mrs B. NJ. Burroughs last week returned
from Nashville, Tenn
MIR. Thomas Chapman, of Columbus, Ga,
was in the city yesterday.
MIR. A. B. Clark and wife. of Jacksonville,
are visiting friends in the city
Judge NJ c. Pickett, of Carrsbelle, made a
short but pleasant call at the FLoRIDIAN office
last Thursday.
Mr.. w. o. Ames, General Freight and Tick
ct Agent of the Florida Central and Western
Railroad, is in the city.
DIR. A. L. Randolph and Mr. C. L. Beard a
nee Bay, on the Gulf coast
Prof E. Dubois and Miss Fl. B. Dodd, of
Boston, arrived at the City Hotel lastW ednesday
They came here to spend the winter, and will
give lessons in the Languages, Music, &c. The
Professor is highly pleased with this section of
Florida, and desires to purchase property here.
Capt. W. P. Slusser last Thursday returned
from a protracted visit to tue Springs of Vir-
ginia and the North for the benefit of his health
He is not looking as well as we had hoped to
see him, but says he is improving faster since
his return to Florida, and feels better now than
at any time during his absence.
Mr.. and Mrs. John E. Page, of Albany, N
Y, are among the late arrivals. They will be
Joined by their son and daughter later in the
week. AS Mr.. Pages railroad interests demand
his personal attention, he has rented the Wilson
house on Monroe street, and with his family will
spend the winter in Tallahassee. The house is
now undergoing repairs and will be ready for
occupancy the latter part of the week. We wei
GENE Mr.. Page and his family to our midst and
to the old city of Tallahassee, and rejoice that
the prospects Of securing the much needed rail-
road with northern connection and Gulf of
Mexico outlet is made bright by his presence
Since he was here last several capitalists of large
means North and South has become identified
with the movement.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1882-11-07

Woman.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS FOR WOMEN.
What is the right of the ballot to woman COM
pared with her privilege of enjoying health and
happiness in the charmed circle of her social and
domestic relations? Among the many dscov-
cries tending to promote the happiness and ad-
vancement of the human race, nothing is so in
timately CONNECTED with the health and happi-
ness OF woman-the center and source of oGr
highest earthly enjoyments-as the discovery of
remedy which meets her peculiar wants, and
fits her for the enjoyment of life, and for minis
tering to the happiness of those with whom she
is associated in the tender relations Of sister wife
and mother This remedy is found in Dr. j.
Bradield's Female Regulator, Womens Best
Friend" By it woman is emancipaied from the
ills peculiar TO her sex. Before its magic power
all irregularities of the womb vanish. 1t cures
whites" suppression of the "menses," and re-
moves uterine instructions. 1t cures constipa-
ton aud strengthens the system, braces the
nerves and puriies the blood, and thus doing, it
does more for her, and through her, for the hu
man family than any discovery of modern times
1t never fails, as thousands of women will les
tify.
Prepared by DR. j. Bradfield, Atlanta, Ca
Price: Trial size, rs cents; large size, $3.50
For sale by all druggists. It
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1882-11-07
Proposals for Convict Labor.
ADJUTANr-GENERAL's OFFICE.

D, J
OEALED PROPOSALS will be received at this
y Office until December 23d, A. D. 1882 at IL
O'Clock NJ, for the hire of State Prison Convicts OF
this State for the period of two years. commencing
January l, 1888. There will be on hand on January
l. 1888, about $50 convcts. These, well as those
who may be convicted and sentenced to the State
Prison during the years 1888 and 1884 to be hired
and must be covered by the bids.
No bid will be considered that does not propose
to receive the convicts sentenced after January /,
1888, at the Jail of the county where sentenced and
ply all costs and expenses accruing after the SEN
tence, and to receive the other convicts above re-
ferred to at LIVE Oak on the Florida Central and
Western Railroad, Suwannee county, Florida.
Contractors will be required to give bond with
suretes for the performance of their contracts and
to feed clothe and provide the necessary medicines
and medical attention for convicts, may be pre-
scribed by the Board of State Institutions, and a
sunicient guard, to be approved by the Adjutant-
General. The cOnvicts are not to be taken out of
Florida, and the contracts are to be subject to the
laws of this State In relation hiring such convicts
q copy of which will be furnished on application.
The right to reject ell bids is reserved. Proposals
will be opened In the presence of the Board of State
Institutions. They should be endorsed Proposals
to Hire Convict" and addressed to me-
j. E. YONGE, Adjutant- General
November 9, 1882-6w
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1882-11-07

Prof. E. Dubois, one of the founders and Prin-
cipals of the Berlitz Schools of Languages, loca-
ted in Boston and other cities, has located in
Tallahassee for the winter, and will teach
French and German according to the Berlitz
Method" which has become very popular
among eminent educators
Miss Fl. B. Dodd, Boston lady, who accompa-
MES the Professor, will gives lessons in music and
has special method for teaching children
BY the Berlitz Method the principles of the
language are carefully explained, the grammar
thoroughly interviewer with the lessons, and
made attractive by well-selected examples, illus
trating clearly every distinct rule; in short, it
omits nothing important, while it adds many
features insuring constant pleasure to those re-
ceiving instruction through it, See advertise
ment