The news., 1882-02-16

| ior buc oOuuuctOt 10 BOn6 hua sne
agent is all alone, with no one to take
his part. Never get to the station
more than minute before train time
as the agent is no company for you
to associate with, he knows nothing,
and is a perfect numbskull. If you
have any baggage, never inform the
baggage agent that you wish it check
ed until after you get on the train.
1t is ''his" place to know that it's
your baggage, and. she" should also
know where goa are going, if he don't
it's no fault of yours, for che" is em-
pDoyed to know "your" business, and
not his own, should your baggage not
be put on, telegraph at once to the
Superintendent, che" knows all about
it, aud will send it right to yoar room,
because "it was all on account of the
carelessness of the baggage agent,
and if you don't get il in 5 minutes,
sue the company; they have no bust
ness to keep your property" After
you have telegraphed, write at once
to the superintendent, aud report the
baggage agent, che" has no voice, no
chance to defend himself, SO he will
have to 'git' and it will serve him
right too. &
If you should get to the station 10
minutes before time, go at once to the
ticket window place your arms SAX
imbo' occupy all the room you can,
and ask the ticket agent "what's the
news in the morning papers Z" Of
course the agent buys all the different
fsdailie's" and keep read up for your
entire benefit. Should she" be an
operator, and the instrument calls him
and he runs to it. Ask him awhat
he has now" it's "your" business,
and Che is obliged to tell you all
about it anyway and if be don't call
him vile names, for 'shen likes it. All
| agents like to "spin yarns,' and
have plenty Of time, and you have
"lots Of fun" no matter if q dozen
passengers are waiting to get tickets.
You have thewindow, and hold il ct all
hazards, until the train gets there, the
rest will have time to get there tick
cts, and if they don't they can wait
for the next train, tits no fault Of
| yours, but the agents carslessnsss in
not waiting on them, as he could open
the door and they could get their
tickets through the door.
Always ask "what tins the train
goes" never look at the time table
besides the time tables are never
right, neither is the clock. Your
watch is right, aud If che train leaves
one second before your atime,' sue
the company for damage, for they had
no right TO leave "you.1 Always ask
for a time table every time you go to
the station. As they change 80 cflsa.
be sure to have the latest, after you
get il turn it over once or twice and
put It in the stove, II will help the
Are, and they cost ''you" nothing.
| If you are going long distance,
at which you can arrive by iso OF
more routes, be sure and ask the agsnl
which is the best route, and the
cheapest and plsssantsst. he has
spent ct least 10 or Is years previop:
to getting his position in travelling
over the world to book himself up for
your benefit. He knows all the besI
routes, the best hotels, the cheapes
places to stop, and oil the noted
places along all the routes cad vil
| take pleaspre 10 describing them, and
tell all about them, snd then you car
take nap along the road, aud whsr
you soms back, you can tell Mr.
Ticket Agent, that there is no such
place as he described, as 'yosf' did
not see them, and he has lied to you i
get you go to that route, as "he" is NJ
doubt . very heavy stoekhOldeF on thG
route he recommended and has
share of the profits.
i Remember, do not fail to take 81
the advantage you can over poor 10
significant ticket agent He ought t
have been born ''rich" and no bust
ness to fulfill such an humble position
envy him, (not9 for his hours ar,
many and his care nothing. He ough
to have been Kicked out anyhow.
a.fq TICKET AGENT.
-------saesrs---------
} A FRIENDLY GAME-"Say, mis-
/
ter" said tall, sunburned man wit
T a wide brimmed hat, as he edged hi
way into the managing editors room