The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1882-09-08
NUMBER So.
A Strange Dream.
NO. II.


Every man. Thought. hal Oh rel shirt, with
brass buttons, also a peculiar appendage hang
ing Fl om the neck in front. which WA n pc.
c'i'ihr device repreAeu;in. n rntnul dutcaman
SIAN ling Oh beer barrel. C,dc:ucath which
WAS represented several grave looking men about
to sign some very important document. Onih
riGh, side were represented wee;Guy woman
with two little children c;nging to her skirts
Oa the other side were represented an aged cou-
ple looking the very picture of wretcheIncss, on
the form of young man in u collin The mean!
ing o. it all thought WAS Informed. was this
l3i years before, tha, town was nothing but n
Little railroad station containing small store
and ySpr AK other. houses.s drunken, sbloat-5
Cd dltchH'uu wau drsirvus OF mp 3 eyast
shop there, bu, could not legally do it. unless
the place was incorporated and male u town ky
sort OF legal fiction. petition, with many
signatures, was presented to the Reichstag, or
general pHw-wow of the province. praying that
these half dozen houses might be incorporated.
II was greatly feared that the petition would
not be noticed To the great joy of the LIQUOR
people ami to the great sorrow of,hc others. the
powers that ere, to the neglect of important
measures relating to the general good of the pco
tic place. grog shop was established. with the
usual results. The nc,rpor. ion of the place
had been celebrated every year since: aul the
grogse lers, "a if to add insult to injury, had
originated the pecul device just descriheJ-
The anniversary OF this contem ptible act of their
Legislature, had for years 6ccn utilized by the
crowds Of Office seekers. which characterized
that province. and had become the occasion Of
general gatherings, At which political bnt,les
were fought with verbal weapons when, in
short. the office seekers GRATED, the sovereign
people got drunk and everybody had n COOL
time generally. 1t was in the midst of ono Of
these anniversaries that thought found my
self.
Soon thought / WAS approached by we'll
disposed looking man. who, taking me aside,
told me that he wished to inform me that a plot
had heen made by certain leading ones in the
crowd, to have some rare fun. at my expense.
by inviting me, as pretended mark Of honor, 10
make speech. At first thought of leaving
forthwith; but reflection il occurred to me that
aspeech. of the right kind was badly needed; but
never having spoken in public. could not ,hiak
of attempting it, Bat while was thinking here
came committee, sure enough, With y flt,ering
Invitation to make the opening ailrcss. They
would take no denial. At lchgth l concluded
i"'t, s.AE ~ swim, survive or periSb, would
| say something. soon found myself on the
| speakers stand" The Chairman of the meet
! ing gravely arose. with a malicious twinkle in
| his eye and made some general remarks on tho
| wonderful, progress ofscience and discovery. To
this they were now indebted for very great anil
~.
dressed by an inhabitant Of another planet. at
gives me great pleasure he aided, with sgu-
fcant wink which Happened to observe, to.
Introduce to the audience celebrated tourist,
Mr. Jones, from Earth
Trembling in every joint, ! thought came to-
the front, at which WAS greeted with the usual
silly yell. coughed and cleared up my throat
took out my handker chief and wiped my mouth,
wondering what should do, or say. AT length.
managed to s;ammer out:
Strange. but very respectable people: Is il a
reality? or am dreaming ? that the first time
that should have the honor Of addressing AN
audience should be upon planet which, while
on earth. in my limited knowledge. had been
accustomed to look upon as only bright spcck
in the far-olf sky. | am no public sreaker
bearance and .he sympathy Of This strange. bu.
highly intelligent and respectable audience; while
| shall, in a very imperfect ami incoherent man
ner, try to say few words that you may not Mt
first endorse, but which hope you will receive
as the real sentiments Of a strange, but true
friend thought at present nearly scared to
DEATH
Here, thought began to collect my scatter.
ed senses and began to feel ashamed of myself
because like most new speak RS | fou nd myself
merely initiating, if not repeating, what had
heard others say. thought it was time to "get
to business" so proceeded somewhat as fol-
lows
"lou Claim to be free an independent peo.
pie. Your orators ring changes on the "land Of
the free aud The home Of The brave" You will
pardon me, If tell you that, as = people. fear
you are neither as fl lee nor as Independent as
you perhaps imagine. In the northern portions
OF your planet the vote Of the laborers is large
y controlled Sy capitalists; in the southern por-
lion perceive that the vote of n large class is
controlled by deniagogies ndiscriminately, who
pay price, either directly or indirectly for the
votes of tins class. In other words, office, in
"o sou'herh part Oh } our PIanet, mas become a
marketable commodity, which, to q large extent
is bought and sold, as truly as any other com.
modify, though ny indirect means What means
the fact that your Office seekers pay for dinners
at barbecues for dozens of voters each; turn
loose whole barrels of cider upon the crowd !;
then take them around to the corner grogshop
anil make them drunk on mean wiiskey? Or,
In case your office seeker be good, sober, pious
Baptist deacon, and enthusiastic Sunday