Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-08-24

GERS like sergeants and corprils is.
The idea was so ludicrOuS that W--Was
not even reprimanded, and he made good,
brave record in the war.-Detrot Free Press.
GONG TO THE Posi- OFFICE.-One of the
oldest sights in the South is to see the ne
groes hang about the post offices. They are
the first ones to call in the morning and the
last to leave at night, and it is by no means
rare to have them inquire for mail 10 times
day. 1 was in the office at Marietta, Ga,
when an aged darkey limped in and inquired !:
cam dar fo' or five letters heah for June
broke Duke 20
''No, sir,' replied the Postmaster, after ia
king look.
ssWell, den, I'll take one.''
'sThere are no letters for you
''Isn't dar newspaper?''
"No."
Hasn't done got muffin tall ?"
Mot thing
.Dat's Gurus S-werry Gurus" muttered the
man as he walked out. :.
| followed after, and when I asked him II
he expected an important letter that day, ne
s'sartin does. Dat's why I'ze walked TO-
miles dis mawnin'."
81 dunno"
s'Did you expect news or money in the let
ter?"
"Deed l did, sab. | 'spected dat letter
might hab $40 into it,
''Who from 20
II dunno, but spected it,"
He then told me that he could neither read
nor write, had no friends to write to him, had
never mailed a letter nor received one III his
life, and yet he had inquired for mail at least
five hundred times year for the past ten
years. In fact, it wasn't an hour after l lett
him before lie circled around to the post office
again and said: :.
.sI reckon | must hab. some mail by dis
time.''
''No-nothing for you"
''Wall, if dat hain't curus-werry Gurus !!
Reckon I'd better wait for dat one O'Clock
train. .'-Cor Detroit Free Press
A BASE NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. preachers
are said to be very eccentric, and their mild
unnaturalness has given rise to great many
remarks and a few stories. The following
narrative was told us by slanderer
A minister arose before a large audience,
took his text and began preaching A brisk
firing of pistols began on the outside OF the
church.
Brother Deacou,'' said the minister, II
believe those fellows are casting insinuations
at me. In fact am very nearly convinced"
he continued, as piece OF plasterlng fell from
the wall close to his head.
81 think, parson, that it refers to some one
else,'' replied the worthy deacon.
The minister raised a glass of water and
was in the act of putting it to his lips, when
the glass fell, shattered by a pistol bullet.
'"This is an innuendo Olonger," said the
minister, wiping the water from his vest, 'this
is what term an unmistakable thrust. The
congregation will please sing while 60 out
and investigate the matter. Is there another
preacher in the house 20
''Yes,'' said the old man, throwing down
stick which he had been whiting, arising
and pulling at the waist of his pants like man
who had just Strengthened up after setting
out a row of tobacco across broad field
''Got on an extra ,"
''Yes"
''Unlimber''
The whiting preacher handed over large
Remington pistol which the insulted preacher
took, and drawing one from his belt, started
out.
After going out there was an immediate
improvement in the firing business. 1t was
decidedly more life-like, insOmuch that the
deacons sat working their fingers After a
while the minister returned, and placing an
ear and a nOStrll and a half or Il nose OH Cne
pulpit remarked: ''He that hath ears to hear
let him behave himself The sermon then
proceeded without interruption.-LW Rock
Gazette.
A GERMAN ECLIPSE.--ApropoS of the re-
cent solar eclipse, a story worthy OF Hacklaen-
der has recently gone the round of the German
papers. 1t appears that on the morning OF the
event alluded to Captain Won s., of the
Fussilliers, issued the following verbal order
to his company, through Sergeant-Major, to
be communicated to the men after forenoon
parade This afternoon solar eclipse will
take place. At o'clock the whole company
will parade in the barrack-yard. Fatigue jack
cts and caps. l shall explain the eclipse
to the men. Should it rain, they will assem-
ble in the drill-shed.' The Sergeant-Major,
having set down his commanding officers in
structions in writing, as he had understood
them, formed the company into hollow square
at the conclusion of the morning drill, and
read mis- version of the order to them, thus :
''This afternoon a solar eclipse will take place
in the barrack-yard, by order of the captain,
and will be attended by the whole company,
in fatigue jackets and caps. The captain will
conduct the solar eclipse in person. Should
it rain, the eclipse will take place in the drill
ed."-London Telegraph.
THEOLOGICAL PLEAsANTRY.-F. X. Van
Tassel, a local missionary in Ulster, contrib