The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-10-21
The Religious Editor on Base Ball.
(Brooklyn Eagle.)

(Brooklyn Eagle)
A fews days ago tine local depart
ment was terribly rushed, and it was
found necessary to assign the religious
editor to base ball match. He
watched the game through patiently,
and the next morning submitted the
following report:
"a very refreshing season of base
ball was experienced in the Capitoline
Vineyard yesterday afternoon, af-
fording exceeding unction to CON
gregation of fully two thousand souls.
Brother Murphy, of the Brookly,
class, first welded the rod, even as
did Moses at the rock of waters, and
smiting the ball with prodigious
smite was richly blessed with two
bases. 1t then became the blessed
privilege of Brother Fitzgerald to
stand forth, but despite his most fer
vent efforts, Divine Providence IN
terfered wit a foul tip, and the
brother harvested naught. During
this season Brother Murphy had eX.
perienced change of bases, garner
ing unto himself the third thered,
whereat there was great rejoicing,
mingled with lamentatiOn and rend-
ing of garments among the disciples
of the conflicting tribes. At thiscrit
| ical point in the salvation of the class
Brother MalOney came among them
as physician of souls, but the
sheaves of great rejoicing were not
for him. Like Jacob he Wrestled,
and like Nathan he fell, for his adj
YersarieS were plenteOus and their
wisdom that of the serpent, foraS-
much when he smOte the bail SO that
it scared, they that were as Philis
tines unto him did congregate around
about that the ball might not escape
them, and did hold forth each man
his hands, until their fingers i'll num-
Der were like unto the lilies of the
valley, and they seized the ball and
bore it thence in triumph"
"Look here !" h0WIed the manag-
ing editor. when he had reached this
point, What's all this got to do with
ll?n
"Anything the matter 2" inquired
the religious editor.
This is no way to write up base
ball MATCH" protested the managing
editor.
"Why not ?" Indignantly deman-
ded the religious editor. whats
the matter with 1t? That's the way
they did it and that's my way of do.
ing it up"
but, man alivew exclaimed his
superior. this reads like IA sermon :"
VERY well, any objections to SER
mons ?" asked the religious editor,
tartly. you don't like my style
of business you'd better send some
secular cuss to the next ball game"
"Listen to this, mani" said the
manager, reading from the account:
"In this, the eleventh hour, Broth
er GilIIooIy essayed through effectual
shifting to turn back the host that
beset his brethren, and save unto
Brother Murphy the rich harvest of
his frequent eXertions by welcoming
him to the heaven OF the home plate.
But his enemies prevailed against
him, so that when the ball had been
driven from him by ii mighty cast of
the bat they threw it with a marvel
Gus dire tnesS unto the one of their
number, yea even unto him who was
upon the first of the bases, and he
smote Brother Gilhooly Zip and
thigh, 50 that he fell, and the high
priest cried aloud in great voice,
saying, All out!'"
That's all consistent with the
facts" said the religious editor. as
the managing editor looked up. "If
there's anything there that amt so
I'll buy you hat!"
THAT'S all right!' proclaimed the
managing editor, "but the style! See
the style! 1t sounds like the Bible ~
"Then it's the Bible you object to-"
retorted the religious editor. cit
isn't the game, it's the Bible"
"How many people who admire
base ball are going to understand
your account of yesterday ?" deman-
ded the managing editor.
"Of course, if you put it in that
way" replied The religious editor
scratching his ear.