The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-05-16
Seuse and eNn,lse,tss.

they invariable come to the scratch smi-
Hing. t-t.
| A list Of forty-two circuses is publish
ed which have taken the road this sea-
son
The Indians breaking out again2 For
mercy's sake, why weren't they vacci-
mated ?
4 The bald headed mans idea of heaven
is place where burlesque opera per-
formances will 60 on without end.
| When man becomes so good that he
ceases to think of himself you may
safely conclude that he is out OF his
mind.
I A Russian proverb says: "Before 60
ing to war, pray once; before going
sea, pray twice; before getting married
lpray three times"
i Poverty ia almost endurable when i
4 is accompanied bv fresh air. This q
Il the same time is the doctrine that make
men tramps.
\ In Illinois q tenant who prefers no
to pay his rent and who knows the rope
cannot be budged out OF house shor
of some two years.
4 Rev. Mr. Lyon, of Bridgeport, preach
| ed Sunday night on the National sin
There was a universal exchange, of um
brellas the next morning,
/ Dreamy young lady in a railway car
riage 10 cheerful and healthy lookin!
Iyoung man: "Oh, sir, are you esthet
lic?" "No, nam; I'm butcher"
! Many girls would rather wear .,hei
stockings with holes in than have then
ldarned. because when darned they ar,
lmended, and girls prefer men alive.
"Whst is your income ?" was ono
asked of noted Partisan Bohemian. II
is hard to tell" was :he reply, "but ii
good years | can borrow at least TO-,
600 frsncs." ri
The man who proudly says "he car
drink or leave it alone, just as h,
1 pleases," never seems TO leave it alone
but bends all of his mighty will to drink
ing itevery time. -s--------..
One year ago a needle entered th,
wrist of a young lady in Elmira, snt
the other day it was removed from tht
right arm of the fellow who is be-
''steady comply"
AT town meeting large Taxpayer
rose up to protest against building {
new school house in a certain part Of tht
town. whats the good OF it2" asked
he. "They are an ignorant set .dowr
there. anyway"
ai | notice that Messrs. Cox and Robe
son ase fighting The war. over again
Probably nv memory is somewhat i'm
paired, but don't recoliect the exact
hrigades in which those gentlemen
fought" ."-R. E Lee. III
The rate at which Europe is emptying
her population into the United States
will cause vacuum across the water
that the Chinese may yet be called upon
to fill. What America rejects, Europe
may yet bid high for.
! If the astronomers would only make
February three months long and thus
have MAY the first spring month, there
would be good deal less growing in
this latitude. The climate is all right
the trouble is with the almanac. -e4ge
A traveller reports a clever repartee il
the old Cathedral at Santa Fe. Severa
aged Mexican women were kneellng or
tue bare floor, moaning in prayer. We'll,
said a iooker-vn, don't that heat the
devil2" | guess that's what they'retry'
ing to do," was the quiet reply of aeon
panion. '.'... .-...' !
Their is a story told of very conse
quential head waiter who, observing {
man tie his napkin preparatory to com
mencing his meal, went up TO him ant
said, you have made mistake, sir
this isn't barber shop" 1t was a very
good rebuke, but it cost the head waitel
his situation. ''----'' 't.i- g
"How did you like my discourse las
Sunday ?" asked the parson "To tel
you the TRUTH" replied Fogg, II wal
not altogether pleased with your pre-
misses but I was delighted beyond meas
ure at your conclusion - The 5parsor
would give something to know just wha
Fogg meant zt,s f,Hnof
sis it Incoming to me ?" asked she,
she paraded in the costume Of 100 years
[ago, before the man who is not her lore
and master, bat is her husband. Eyes
my dear" said be meekly. Don't yol
wish could dress this way all the time 2
she asked. mo. my dear" he replied
"but ! wish you had lived when that wa'
the stvle." - 80 .l ~,
Mistress-"I understand, Mary, tha
YOU are about to get married ?" Mary
"It's thrue, mum, an, niYer mater maj
walked than Dennis Mulcahey Mis-
Itress-"You. love him very dearly P
Msry-"Indade / do not" Mistress
"And why not. Mary" Mary-"Be
Gaze he be's always. afther boibe,in' L
squaze me w. A
A new agony, and one that Is in ever,
way admirable, is for q yousg lady Il
entertain her gentleman caller with
few arias on that classical instrument
the banjo. The true and deep signii
canoe oil this is, "Don't go to the min
strels auV more; l will he your min
stre /" Did you ever see loves dream
set to music in more attractive shape
| Gordon Cumming, in his new book
"At Home in Fiji" says that cannihaI
ism il by no mesns a lost art in that "a
nous South Sea archipelago The fash
ionable style of cooking somewhat re
sembles the Rhode Island clam bake, tn
bodies being fret wrapped in th
leaves of certain plsnt, which impart
pleasant relish and facilitates. diges
ton, and then roasted between be
, stones f"" ',sea
A workingman entered q street ca
, with half-consumed cigar in his hand
and sat down beside a grim-yissged VII
!, gin considerably past the period Of he
, youthful bloom. After time the Gigs
e went out. and the incense arising fro'
q the cooling stump made the angler
r spinster's nose hease like Sandy Hoo
? buoy. She called the conductor to b.
and said sharply, II thought smokin
was prohibited here" $50 i!,is msdam
= "It is, eh2 Look at this ,loafer " .
| | a;r ;av,