Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-03-30
SQUIBS.

Mayo is now playing IN the streets OF
New York" "What is he doing,
making mud pies p asks the Phila-
6elphia Buletiu.
sE &c Yes, sir" said the Kentuckian, |
never was in a more tantalizing posi-
Il Non in my life. There were three of
hs with pack of cards in the room,
and not deuced cent in the crowd. ="
IA George Lorillard, of New York,
Il has built handsome modern residence
\ in the centre of st. Augustine, and
q surrounded it with palmetto, date
trees, and hundreds of roses, banana,
fig, and orange trees.
"A Vermont man who set a trap to
catch a mink, has already captured
seventeen polecats, coon, and his own
dog in it, and still persists in his de-
signs upon the mink. Some men don't
know when they're licked.
An editor out west announced that
he wculd cease to publish the big takes
of game from hunters unless he should
share SEINE of it. The very next day
he had carted to the door Of his resi-
dence dozen blackbirds and a dead
mule. The next day he wrote; "Never
mind the game; notices will be pub
lished rs usual"
We lost subscriber the other day
because we refused to publish thirteen
verses of homemade poetry. But
when we think of the number of sub
scribers we might have lost if we had
published it, peaceful rest comes and
sits on the summit of our conscience
which money cannot buy Loaeeli
Journal.
Il A bonnet popular with men: with
this bonnet wear the mouth open," is
the code Of instruction furnished by a
Partisan milliner with one of her eff
& forts. Whenever a milliner shall de-
sign bonnet which shall need the di-
rection "The mouth must be worn shut
with this" all married men will rush
in and buy of it and be happy.
''Ma, what's sweet, sugar coated lit
tie angel pill?" asked Williamsport
boy of his mother at breakfast the 9TH
er day. II declare, Willie, l don't
know" was the laughing reply. "Where
did you ever hear such an odd express
sion as that?' ooh, l heard pa telling
Mary that in the hall, last night, when
you was over to Mrs. BIS" The
''sweet, sugar-coated little angel pill"
was discharged the next day.
Yesterday colored drayman had
considerable trouble with his mule.
The old man was standing on the side
walk, engaged in religious discussion
with preacher. The mule kicked at
boy. "Whoa, dab !" yelled the own
er, "aint yer got no mo- sense den to
pick fuss wild chile? Dat mule is
awful briggerty OBJ late" Turning and
taking up the thread of his discourse,
he was again disturbed by the animal.
keep on !" he yelled, 'time l add off
two years oh corn from yer feed yer
won't be so skylarkish. Little Rock
Gazette.
Somewhat off his base In one of
the corridors of the alleged Palace of
Justice an old advocate sees young
and alleged learned brother at dis
lance walking alone gesticulating nerv-
Ously and talking to himself THAT
man must be as crazy as loon-a
lunatic, / should say" he remarked to
a companion. "Why 500" Cant
you understand A lawyer who talks
ID himself is as bad as a confectioner
who eats his own candy?"
A lesson for young men: "How
charmingly beautiful the Easter cards
are this year, are they not? said Alger-
non to Isabella last evening as he sat
in the parlor making talk" Yes, in
deed, they are beautiful; but there are
some things / would prize more than
Easter cards" 81 presume so. If |
should fer-offer-to-" 81 don't
know what ma would say to an offer in
Lent" And she blushed beautifully
Algernon was entrapped nicely. He
was merely going to offer to escort her
to the opera next week, and now he
has got to have her lean on him through
life. A young man cannot be too
guarded ia his conversation.
A clergyman asked his school
"Nith what remarkable weapon did
Samson one time STAY a number OF
Philistines?" For while there was no
answer; and the clergyman, to assist
the children little, commenced tap
ping his jaws with the tip of his finger,
at the same saylng-'N natS tnlS I
what's this ?" Quick as thought a little
fellow innocently replied-"I,he jaw
bone of an ass, sir"
One by one the roses fall
One by one the cashiers go;
Mince pies fade away in spring
Boys begin to play base ball
v hen the gentle summer comes,
With its wealth of blooming flowers
Then picnic gently sprouts
In the sylvan dells and bowers.
Let us never waste a day
Let us always forward be,
Or some other duck will take
Myrtle to the matinee.
There's too much horse-racing at
your agricultural fairs" remarked Par
son Jones to the secretary of the
county society; az should like to
know, sir, what horse-racing has to do
with agriculture swell, psrson,"
replied the secretary, with pleasant
smile, nothing, perhaps; or, at least,
no more than church lotteries have to
do with the spreading of the gospel"
Parson Jones saw the point and changed