The Osceola times., 1882-04-22
MARK TWAIN.
The Humorist's Account Of the Great
Preachers Farming Oh eratfons.

The Humorists account Of the Great
Preachers Farming OF erations.
Mark Twain has written of Mr.. Beech
er's old farm on the Hudson river as fol-
lows:
Mr.. Beecher's farm consists Of thirty.
six acres, and is carried on on strict
scientific principles. He never puts in
any part of crop without consulting
his book. He plows, and reaps, and
digs and sows according TO the best au-
thorities, and the authorities cost more
than the other farming implements do.
AS soon as the library is complete the
farm will begin to be profitable invest.
ment. But book farming has its draw.
backs. Upon one occasion, when it
seemed morally certain that the hay
ought to be cut, the hay-book could not
he found, and before il was found it was
too late and the hay was all spoiled. Mr..
of wheat in the country, but the unfa-
vorable difference between the cost of
producing it and its market value after
1t is produced has interfered consider.
ably with its success as commercial
enterprise. His special weakness is
hogs, however. He considers hogs the
best game farm produces. He buys
the original pig for $l.50, and he feeds
him $40 worth of corn, and then sells
him for about 50. This is the only crop
he makes any any money on. He loses
on the corn, but he makes $3.50 on the
hog. He does not mind this, because he
never expected TO make anything on
corn. And any way it turns out, he has
the excitement of raising the hog, wheth-
er, he gets the worth of him or not His
strawberries would be comfortable
success if the robins would eat turnips,
but they won't, and hence the difficulty.
One of Mr.. Beecher's most harassing
difficulties in his farming operations
comes of the close resemblance of differ
ent sorts of seeds and plants to each
other. Two years ago his far-sighted-
ness warned him that there was going to
be great scarcity in watermelons, and
therefore put in a crop of twenty seven
acres acres of that fruit. But when they
came up turned out to be pumpkins
and dead loss was the consequence.
Sometimes portion of his crop goes into
the ground the most promising sweet
potatoes, and comes up the infernalest
carrots-though have never heard him
express it Just in that way. When he
bought his farm he found one egg in
every hens nest on the place. He said
that here was Just the reason so many
farmers failed; they scattered their
forces too much; concentration was the
idea. So he gathered those eggs tor
gether and put them altogether under
one experienced old hen. That hen
roasted over that contract night and day
for eleven weeks, under the anxious per.
sonal supervision of Mr.. Beecher him
self, but she could not "phase" those
eggs. Why! Because they were those
infamous porcelain things which are
used by ingenious and fraudulent farm
ers as NEST eggs" But perhaps Mr..
Beecher's most disastrous experience
was when he tried to raise an immense
crop of dried apples. He planted 81 800
worth, but never one of them sprouted.
He has never been able to understand
to this day what was the matter with
those apples.
Mr.. Beecher's farm is not a triumph.
1t would be easier on him If he worked
it on shares with some one. but he can
not find any body who is willing to stand
half the expense, and not many that sre
able. Still, persistence in any cause is
boxnd to succeed. He was a very in.
ferior farmer when he first began, but a
prolonged and unflinching assault upon
his agricultural difficulties has had its
effect at last, and he is ROW fast rising
from aflluence to poverty.