Smyrna times., 1882-05-24
All Sorts From All Sources,

Inc woman question: At twenty who.
at thirty what, at forty where. is he?
10 change window glass to tin-Leave
the window open when it rains and il will
beat in
There is Il general kick against the
manner in which primary elect .ona are
If You are 50 terribly nervous that every
stupid thing you see frghtrns you. avoid
the looking glass
Secretary Chandler is accused OF wear .
ing the most venerable and . slouchv" hat
in all Washington.
The question how arises What is to he !
done with anCighbor> chickens that make
themselves too sociable?
No man, hcWeYcr great ol learned or
famous. ever finds anything in this world
TO beat his mothers company pies.
Women. s;yS social critic are all more
or less born actresses. The majority Of
them know how 10 make up. that is a fact.
4 country girl, getting oil Z train al
Saratoga was asked if she might he helped
to alisht, and she replied that she did not
somke.
Developments of the last few DAYS in
form us that we should plant our ice cream
spoons again and see if they won't grow
to he snow ~h0vcl,.
Anna Louise Cary announces her final
Withdrawal from The stage She expects
to get married. and Of course will give up
her music. They all DO ii.
j. Chinaman--Dear Sir have con
cided TO lei my washing accumulate dur
ing the ensuing ten years Muchee yours.
{. ARTHUR
Ii is said thai along the coast of New
! foundland devil-fish with arms ofunheard-
of-length are 50 numerous . that prudent
| h4CA 80 bdCN tel! hliPS ~ tHt country 10
get drunk
Mrs. Vanderbilt the wife Of the late
Commodore's heir pays hsr chief cook
$1,000 year, or more than the annual
compensation of 4 United States Senator.
No followers
asked him where he had taken up his
abode. OH he replied, " I'm living by
the canal for the present SHOULD be
delighted you'd drop in some evening :
Then left him.
General Corse, who was General Sher-
mans daring chief Of staff on the march
to the sea, is about to marry Miss Mcneil
q grandniece Of President Pierce. The
father Of Gen. Corse was a Delawarean.
If people who are troubled with colds
would make use of Ayers Cherry Pectora
before attending church or public lectures
they would avoid coughing, and the com
fort Of hearers and speaker would bC
greatly promoted. The Pectorals enables
public speakers to speak clearly and with
out fatigue, having an immediate an(
wonderful effect in increasing the power
and fleXibility of the voice.
A mineral spring in Arkansas, whose
water turns as red as blood when confined
from which flows an abundant supply o
refined petroleum, all ready TO produc,
pure aud brilliant flame, are among tn,
new wonders Of the country.
is new claimed that sorghum. SO eX
tensively cultivated some years since OF
the Peninsula, and 50 unanimously drop
) ped by our farmers, can be raised to ad
l vantage as Il sugar producer in Texas
r Louisiana. Arkansas, Mississippi, lowe
5 Missouri and Tennessee.
When | have a baby at breast nethin
: is so useful for quieting my OWE AM
baby's nerves as Parkers Ginger Tonic
1t prevents bowel complaints, and is bet
ter than any stimulant to give strengt
and appetite.-.4 Ne,rark Mother
> A c0mpositor in setting up the toast
3 Woman-without her, man would be
t savage" got the punctuation in tn
:. wrong place, which maded it read
= "WOman, without her man, would be
= savage
The Bridgeton, N. j.. Ne,rs has tw
S political editors-oRc a Democrat and tn
8 other Republican. One writes Reput
lican gospel one day and the next day tn
Democratic editor grinds out Democrat
!. thunder in large doses.
To Den Cameron: Why not change th
!, name of your State to Simonsylvania, Q
DOnsylvania. or Camerontown, or SimOr
, Vile, or Donberg? A plain blunt ma
like you ought to call things by thei
q proper titles.
+ The roses of pleasure seldom last Ion
enough to adorn the brow of him VIII
plucks them, for they are the only rose
y which do not retain their sweetness atte
, they have lost their beauty.
TX,I;t+;o, ,,nouaotl,, t;raS b;,ncaIf {