Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-07-29
LETTER FROM NEW YORK.
The Rural Visitor i'm New york-What
He Does and How He Does ft-Ehe.
africal Matters, ETC.. Etc.


fne Does and How He Does ft-Ehe-
airical Matters, Etc, Etc.
Special Correspondence of THE EVENING srAR.
NEW YORK, July IS, 1882.
THE COUNTRYMAS IN TOWN.
There Is no end OF visitors In New York now.
The streets and shops are full of them, and they
siop over into street cars and stages.
IN THE OMNIBUS.
popularity Of the Countryman Is that he can
never get into a stage without creating havoc and
desolation. He usually stands on the curb and
avoiis the stagedrlvers eye, through difidence or
deviltshness, until the stage has passed him.
Then he suddenly darts after the vehicle, jumps
On the rear steps, and tugs the door half open and
wedges his way partly in The driver, feeling the
commotion, pulls his horses up with a jerk, and
looSenS the door strap. AS natural result the
countryman Is carried along by his own powerful
momentum and shoots wildly into the stage,
trampling on the pet cornS OF the passengers with
his hObnailed boots, and wildly clutchins hats,
noses and ears as he rushes along. Eventually he
fetches up with crash against the money box
and looks mortified Then he Strengthens up and
Jams his hat over his eyes against the low roof,
and Is thrown violently backward as the driver
petulently starts ahead. By this time he begins
to feel as If life is delusion and snare and he
looks about upon the scowling and passion-toSsed
features OF the passengers for comfort, but he
don't get even an atom OF commiseration, and SO
he either falls out of the stage backward or sits
down in some maiden lady's lap and curses be-
meath his breath with all the Vigor OF a tortured
soul.
IN THE STREET CAR
When the countryman boards car he inevita-
bly, conveys the impression to the casual observer
that he Is trying to carry the car away with him
TO the other side OF the street He first throws
himself violently against 1t in a way that makes
everyone shudder; then he tries to get on cross
legged, which invariably throws him violently
downward. and he onlySaves himself from being car
red under the wheels by series OF the most start
ling acrObatc evOutions. By this time pedestrians
are running to his assistance everybody Is shout
Ing advice and the driver stops The car. He gets
aboard, looking painfully confused, and the con-
ductor, with view OF putting him at his ease,
asks him In loud voice how Old he is and says
that II he Will send the street car company a pos
TAI card next time he wishes to ride they'll carry
him aboard the car in hammock The country
man sinks into HIS seat, il he find one, but he
can't remain there. An irresistible fate compels
every rural visitor to try conclusions with the
street car window. He has always been worsted,
and always viii be; but he makes the attempt lust
the same, and wonders that he doesn't succeed. He
Is unable to comprehensively grasp the fact
tnat car windows neither slide up in grooves
as do house windows, nor swing open
on hinges SO he tugs and pulls and pushes, TIL
hes out or breath and boiling, while the conductor
ga2es at him with ar air OF serene contemplation.
After the visitor has almost looSened the side OF
the car the conductor strolls ill., draws the window
up nall an inch, taps 1t gently and lets it drop
neatly out OF Sight After this the conductor In
qWres after the good people OF Squedunk with
spare lock OF his hair. These little pleasanlres
sink the rural sight-seer into such an abyss OF
gloom that he Is afraid TO ask to be told when his
Meanwhile the conductor goes forward, borrows
some tobacco or the driver and says in stentorian
tones: "a gtllie! Great joke. Just out. Stop
Tue car gently, there's moss on his nose"
AT THE HOTEL.
The countryman is also stupendous success
wherever gas Is concerned. When he goes to his
hotel the first thing the clerk says to him is:
Don't blow out the gas" The hall boy repeats
1t, and when the porter brings up his trunk he
also growls: "Dont blow out the gas" When the
cOuntryman retireS he goes to the gas fixture and
sees on black and white placard in words two
miles long "Don't blow out the gaS.n He reads
TINS aloud very carefully, and then calmly blows
cut the gas. A lew hours later and the night
Waterman smells It, batterS down the door, and the
rqraite Is taken to the hospital where he is chron
icled IS asphixtated" and left to live or die. Usa-
ally he lives suppose it is due to his naturally
strong constitution.
ON THE STREET.
Another popularity Of the countryman Is his
genius for dress. Now, when the thermom-
eter is among the nineties, and men are being
parboiled in loose alpaca coats and linen trousers
the countryman PUSHES proudly along wearing i
long, black frock coat, heavy baggy, black trous-
ers, stiff black hat and heavy solid boots Still,
he probably thinks he looks " dressed" and Is
happy.
AT THE VARIETY SHOW.
He is very fond OF visiting the Alcazar as the
Old Metropolitan Casino Is now called, and imbib-
Ing the festive beer, while he gaZes upon the va
rlouSly attrcd females who consist so largely of
leg and dance in the bewildering ballet That
fetches him every time. The ballet Oh, the ballet
He doesn't care rap for quality; all he wants is
muchness. l was amused the other night to see
how vigorously he applauded two OF the women
They were the Anglioistric Sisters, or something
OF that sort, and they didn't know any more about
dancing than the pyramids OF Egypt, but they
wore excessively tight and higlly restricted
trunks, and showed a wealth OF limb that was
almost limttless. They came on and trotted over
TO the right side OF the stage and kicked their
wealth OF LIMB In the air three times, then they
went over to the LETT and kicked three times, and
then kicked three times in the middle Of the stage
rms performances was repeated half way back
and then at the rear OF the stage after which they
came forward, kicked three times and retired
amid thunders OF applause from the country
i2en.
COMING ATTRACTIONS
SO we are TO have the most beautiful woman OF
London and the most beautiful woman OF Paris at
the same tme,-Langtry and Taco. fancy there
VIII De considerable diSsiIluslonment over Mrs.
Langtry when she arrives. The fast young club
and society men here seem to imagine that she Is
FACILITATING with anxiety to get into their arms
They talk OF the little suppers and morning drives
With great glibneSs, and expect no end of "rack-
etS' with the jersey Lily The popular impression
Lydia THOMPSON or Fanny Louise ucsn % .uo
KIND, only OF slightly higher grade. The YOUNG
club and society men grin suygestivey and believe
mat the dear girl Is up to snuff, don't chew
Know Yes, guess she Is.
LIKE MooSLfGHT,-"LusTROUs,B But FREEZINGn
I'm afraid the young men are doomed to disap-
pontment, and know that Mrs, Lanytry is not
hunsering for them In fact Pm led to believe that
she viii have nothing whatever to do with them
Her hGuteur is said to be superb, and she resents
familiarity crushingly. A lady who has been the
pet OF the highest London society, who has lunched
several times with her Royal Highness the
Princess OF Wales, and who has been dined and
waltzed repeatedly by the future King OF England
Will certainly not become fiuttered by the atten.
tons OF the caiiow youth OF the knickerOocker
club. She Will travel with a lady companion, and
remain In the utmost SecluSiOn.
Yum! YUM: YUM!!.
The other beauty is Of the other sort, and Is as
different from Mrs Langtry in disposition as in
looks Nine. Theo Is as plump as possible, with
out being fat. and has eyes as big as dollars In
Paris She IS considered the most beautiful of
women. She has been on the stage since her girl
hood Which was not very long ago, as she is still
rather young and has learned all the tricks OF the
trade. She has fascinating manner, and Is en-
trancingly sly and suggestive I'm her acting. Who
douotS her success IN New York knows not the
i0lidneSS OF New Workers for that sort OF thing
| 6ooD-FoR-s0METH1NG HUSBAND.