Connecticut western news., 1882-03-01
The Asasheslc Couple.

Yes, Mr. and Mrs sunHower were what night ee called true follower in the mighty turned from their brida. tour-a lengthy ono, :oo. e Mr. SunHower was very wealthy, (he II ,ould not be highly esShstie and be poor. Poverty and @stheticism do not go hand in aand.) They had bought 'awelP' house or | Fifth avenue, with hard wood floors and no \ carpets. Every thing about this house was new from "turret to founda ton stone" There was nothing for this youthful couple to do but \ to enter it and ''sat, live, and be merry"
 What was the horror of Mr. s. to Aud. on holsterers had made everything in the ''Queen Anne" style. Ho, hol think I'll allow thatf" muttersd the disgustsd Mir. s. "No, mol must have the latest. Remove the wretched things aw-have Mir. Aw-Mr. what's .his-nAme put in the sofa book eases, the library bed, the re. volvinx tables, the easy contracting chairs, the triplex self acting mirror combination, and the rest of those ciulized conveniences. Tho next time Mir. Sunfower came, h,s ex- ,lAmAIons ot delight quite overpowered tn, butler, who was showing him thu ough. Mir. A. stopped before . beautifully inla,d ebonize, cherry bed book case. As he gazed. entrauc ed, the butler pressed knob, and the top u the buox case swayed slowly out two woodeI sgs also moved from sockets in its panels. au. soon the entIe book case took the position m Il bed, nicely made up. "Ah, that's the thing ~ow hcaS d. you send it back again 2' Tn butler immediately pressed knob at the hea'
 
 fitted lu as b.fore, leaving nothing to be see, If tine bed, and beautiful book case instead Then the butler revealed the mystery of tn sofa wardrobe which worked on the sam. plinclple. But what took away the heart
 ur. $. W S tine trlp.ex folding self acting mil for ComOinst ton. It was for the purpose |. shaving. By pressing knob, three separsi
 a.rrors swung out from what appeared to be
 .abi ct, one being in the center. the other lw
 adjacent. How much better these were tha
 fhlnOa fhAir
 what a improvement was the bed book
 , the t'eriug four posted things of thct woI thy men. Mr. s. room connected wit l,v of Atrs. S bv solt of alley way, the exI. 't when, inst, sd of having doors, were adul oi with heavy damask porueree. At h every tMng was ready for he new coull,
 iur sutuma ic reflex achonsd table had pro, | cd satisfactory, the sofa wardrobcs had b. l raved themselves in . highly respectkb
 manner, il on,y remained to try the bed booh as.s. Airs. S. drew the portiere to after | tender good night" and Mir. !
 reard no m re of her. He slowly took of j., ,rtlcies oi apparel, and donned his exquisl,
 night dress, with ,uffies so stiff ths the, ma,.
 is chest ache. He then made for the b,,
 DOOR case. After lengthy hunt h. foun | he knob, pushed It, and retired to view Il. | feet. TEe book csse gave no slgus of meta
 norphism. He pressed again; same resu
 AS ths night was chilly, Mir. 6: grew impsut ut Drawing back his fst. he launcned lt st iL xnob, ptoducing no effect on It, but decide, ous on his kEuckles. He then went across ih. l room and got one of his shoes, returned, aht
 simed blow at the knob. The result was ia
 i.fferent than before. The front fthe hbral l dropped like ths knife of the old time gull, l slne, and it descended with sach rapldity th | before the xstonished Mir. s. could 'clear tl..
 track" ons of the legs swinging out hi. hi
 such rap on the ear that Mrs. \. thougt
 dr $. was seized by some terrible dolor ue'.t,t:
 and she cried out, What's the matter, dear l oh, nothing" replied Mir. B.. picking himsr ap from his recumbens position and rubbiI ais ear in rather . brisk manner. He the. turned out the light, crawled in, and droppe,
 of iAto the land of Nod. Evidently he drean,
 ed of wretched things, for he tossed sbou
 continually. As he tossed and dreamed, suu dsnly, for some unsccountsble reason. the be-
 began to settle forward. AS the angle increa.
 ed in aoutsness the more elevated became MI Hs. heels, and respiration more difficult Howsvsi he slept swestly on still hlgh.
 covered the foos of the bed, until, frictlu
 unable to hold out any longer. MT. :: slid in
 shock partially awoke. "wha-wha-whs
 you doing he gasped. "Lem'ms alone, WI
 you? III have you up for assault and batter,
 Hey. what's all this" Here he awoxe ,
 self aimost standlng on his head. At first l. thought he had bad attack of night mar, but a he was being continually squeezed, ! gave up that idea. and redscted, "Why di 1 he3" Psrhaps he had hit the knob at tl head of the bed, in his sleep, and it was no | undergoing it's chsnKe of form from bed
 book case. Undoubtedly this was tue caus
 of his vertical position. Having realized Ia P position. he instantly straightsned out Ii
 legs. and brought the squsexins acton to P close. Then doubling himself up. he gave 3 tremendous push, and down fell the bed VI, crash. With x wild whirr, the spripI in uters broke, and being of good steel, whizz' ] 4 At&nx at,A
 clip on his head. as he, under the influence
 he sudden fall, flew past and landed with dismal howl on the hard wood floor. II r shock of the falling bed was SO great to Il room, that with another crash down came u
 sofa wardrobe, landing in close proximity
 lE. S's. head. Then with smash and . bar
 che triplex mirror unwouud itself, the revul , lns table began psrAmbuiation and came
 a stop by running into the wash stand, shive
 ing to pieces both pitcher and bowl.
 What sight burst upon the. eyes of tl , butler as with pale face aud Smith and We
 sons revolver in each hand, he rnshed iI the room In the middle of the floor lay | 1 S. inseIsibie; the sofa wsrdroOe with f tw" legs broken lay near his head, on the oth ! side wss the smashed bed boo~ ease, the rui l N which concealed the crushed books uput n-xth; Tn front of hlm the floor Was streN | with glsss from the triplex mirror, anu behr 1 Was the revolving table still desperately ru ] np its wifSSls enc, mp ssed with the debris
 the p,tcher and bow. he butter plcked U ] u.Nor Mir S and restored him tO consciousness l when he took hiu<ssAf of ike sensIhe f,.lle | and dld not stop tu aaa when or how 1t ha | happened. Mir. x. slowly dropped into cha 1 aolding one hand on his sWelled ear, the oth' on his heaC shut one eye, and With the oth' I srimly Rszed at the state Of the room. AS l vat thMs & CUCKOO clocK in the niche began sSw and tn up. end at last after good d,i
 If hcsitstlon, flung open its doors and the co, 1 wi thiu came out and crowed III a harsh, laS' ing .oice 1t wss the last straw that broke tt cansels back, for Mir. s., spIlnsng to his 1t, l ..rasped OOot-jac and hurled It at tn" cloc l With despairlng cucA-o.ol tue poor bn | cluck and all, tell to the floor. It then O. cured to Mir $. that Mrs. $. was very slle, ia the midst of such 8 racket, so pulling asi' the damask curtain he ga2ed within, holdln the lamp high above his head. What was hi \ .orror on beholdink the bed-book cease nearl Ahutl Gould ne guess what was left ot MT, S.2 Instsntly he rushed for the knob. sn beat blow on blow upon it. It stuck for m .ueut. then gave way. The bed felt witL
 crash. and broke just as his had done. Fu ne, rushing to the assistance of the nearl
 Amo'hered Mrs. s., sOun lost ell anxiety as ' whether she was alive or not, by the wor, s i.'Why didn't you come sooner?' gasped ou kby that lady.
 At breakfast next morning Mr. $. sat at [! head of the table with chunk of salt p"l a,tied on his ear and poultice on his head, an'
 she, with patches of court plaster stucs g, nver her face, sat at tue foot. mceklv p urinj
 coftss. As they sat thus, Mir, S., screwiny ul the corner of his left eye, and expanding on, side of his mouth into an up hill smile. said
 'Tel you what, my dear :: don't think ou and for my part, am going to stick to th' tour r-postsrs.' 1t need scarcely be said tha Mrs. B. assented with as beaming . smile al the eourt-plaster would permit. l.. Fl. P.