St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1882-01-21

Agreeable advice is seldom USE
full advice.
Most Americans arriving in
France take Paris green.
When an old actress is painting
her face to lcok young she is max
ing up for lost time.
A man seeing the sign "Hands
CT" Immediately asked if they had
gone on picnic.
As any man may be compelled to
eat his words, he should lever in
dulge in bitter speeches.
Love is blind" and that is how
they manage to keep right on with
the gas turned down.
Wear cheerful countenance, If
your mirror won't smile on YOU,
how caa you expect anybody will?
A Sunday school teacher in AL
bion, n. Y, asked her class the
question, "What did Simon say?"
Thumbs up!' said a little girl.
''iSix feet in his stockings" ex-
claimed Mrs. Darlington. "Why,
Ike has only two in his. and I can
never keep 'em iarned at that"
We are inclined to believe that
Darwin was right when he SAID that
man sprang from al ape; some men
don't seem to have sprung very far
either.
"Were you ever in any engage
ment?' inquired an innocent rustic
of great militiaman. Eyes, one"
replied the son of Mans; ''but she
went back on me-"
Extract from a letter from Ange-
lina-"Dear Henry, you ask me if
l return your love. Yes, Henry, l
have no use for it, ard return it
with many thanks. By-by, Henry"
A Prof. Cunning, up in Michigan,
is lecturing on CATER Man, What?"
A Fort Wayne editor, who has been
there, rises to remark that it is gem
orally the Sheriff or some woman.
Loss of memory, universal lassi-
tude, pain i'll the back, premature
old age, promptly cured with
Browns Iron Bitters. 1t restores
lost functions and strengthens the
weakened parts.
Score one for the landlord: "This
pie isn't fit for dog to eat" NUT
tered Pingry. "Oh, beg pardon!"
exclaimed the landlord, 81 didn't
mean to give that to you, Mr.. Pin
cry. Of course it is not fit"
"Who wrote tue Book of JaEes,
in the New Testament" asked
Sunday-school teacher in a Missouri
village; and a little fellow at the
foot of the class shouted, "The
james Boys!"
A New York fireman threw
satchel containing $4,000 in bonds
out of window, and it was kicked
around for six hours before it's
owner found it. Some people
don't knowwh en- they have good
thing.
Here we have Clothespin. 1t is
made of White Pine, and has grip
on it Like poor Cousin. 1t would
be Nice to put the Clothespin on
the Baby's Nose. The Baby could
not Help itself, and the Clothesnin
would get in its Work on the Nose
for All its Worth.
Constipation is the bane of
American people. Thousands Of
remedies have been offered and
used, but none have given satisfac-
ton until Bailey's SALINE ApERIENr
came into use. This new remedy,
as laxative or gentle puraative, is
white powder and is pleasant and
never-failing in action.
A boy at Columbus swallowed
twenty leeG Vi feu Tlpuou III oruer
that he might afterward pull it out
of his mouth, conjuror fashion, and
astonish the family. The result did
not however. astonish the family
half SO much as it did the boy.
A matter-of-fact young man from
New York during a recent visit in
Boston received an invitation from
lady-an old acquaintance-who
has just blossomed out into q typi-
cal specimen of the Boston aesthetic,
requesting his presence at her house
on a certain evening ito meet two
minds" 1t happened that he had
accepted an invitation to dine else