Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-10-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

A MUSICIAN of note, who had acquired
q considerable fortune by marriage, was
a.ked to sing in company. "Atlow
me, said he, ''to initiate the nighsin-
gale, which does not sing after it has
made its nest"
AN Arkansas boy remarked to his
father, who was in the field Geraldine"
wheat: "say, pap. why does your cradle
cut unwilirngly?' Because it's dull,
reckon" replied the old man. "No,"
said the boy, because it goes against
the grain.
A YOUNG man in western Illinois ad-
vertised for a wife, his sister answered
the ''ad," and now the young man
thinks there is no balm in advertis-
ments, while the old folks think it is
pretty hard TO have two fools in the
same family. Post.
Iris well-finished and healthy look
ing comet, and reflects great credit on
the manufacturers. The only drawback
is that you can't very we'll invite your
girl to inspect it, and treat her to ics-
cream after the show, as you could If
the comet gave night exhibitions in
stead of such very early matlnees.-
| Puck
WHEN you see prominent citizen,
| bright and shining light in society, and
an energetic man of business, and all
that sort of thing, pause in the middle
of the sidewalk and gaze about him with
CLASSY look in his eye, you needn't
think of apoplexy and paralysis. He is
simply trying to remember an errand
his wife told him to do.-LOOeV Ctti-
zen.
FooTE, dining at the house of Mrs.
Thrale, found nothing TO his liking, and
sat in expectation of something better.
A neck of mutton being the last thing,
he refused it, as he had the other dishes.
As the servant was taking it away, how
ever, understanding that there was
nothing more, Foote called ont to him
"Hallo, John, bring that back again.
find that it's neck or nothing"
SIR FREDERICK THEsIGER. afterward
| Lord Chelmsford, being engaged in the
conduct of a case, objected tothe irreg-
ularitv of learned sergeant, who re-
peatedly put leading questions in ex-
amining his witnesses. ''I have a
right" maintained the sergeant dog
gedly, s'to deal with my witnesses as [
please" ''To that offer no objection"
retor:ed Sir Frederick: ''you may
deal as you like, but you sha'n't lead. "
"SEE here, that's a pretty way to
treat S5 hat" exclaimed Milligln. as
i Higgins entered the Office and slung
Milligan's Derby ont of the chair in
which he desired to sit, causing it to
light upon the floor and roll around in
| AZ AL hat hn
echoed Higgins, "what do you mean y
Mean? l mean just what [ say.
| That's S5 hat. The man | got 1t of
paid 81 for it, and sold it to me for s3.
A TEACHER in suburban school was
giving her class an object lesson few
DAYS ago, and drew cat upon the black
board for its inspection. She then
asked what there was on the cat, and
the unanimous reply was. "Hair. !"
"What else? she queried. There was
a long pause of consideration, but final
lv the hand of bright-eyed little five
year-old shot up, and almost simultane-
ously came her triumphant answer,
"Fleas ?"-BostOn Post.
The following is for married men
who have been separated from their
wives during the summer season: A
young artist Benedict, who was a adeale~
in silks, used to go to Paris every year
to make purchases. He was one of tho
boys, and generally took in everything
that was going on while in that city OF
delight, but by way of penance always
bought his wife present. On one oc-
casion the gift was a costly cashmere
shawl She received it with regular
avalanche of thanks, and then suddenly
stopping ar looking archly up ut him,
Tow bad you must have
is time, Charley"