davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

the moon over your right shoulder, my
dear?' said she to him as they roamed
down the walk. "N-n-no, not ex-
actly; but just saw the old man over
my left shoulder and I'll bid you good
night" No kisses served up with the
parting.
Admiration: Chow do you like our
church music, by the way?"inquired
the deacon of the new stylish young
lady. 81 Just admire it ever so much.
That beautiful song, Spirit, Oh Genteel
just suited me-" And she sailed out of
the vestibule with the most genteel
carry "a fifteend ollar-parasol air imag.
Unable.
Young America. What is it about
the ar routes, pap queried the ire
pressible at tea last evening. "Are the
astronomers fixing up new orbits for
the plsnets? mo, my son, the jury
has fixed up new way for rascals to
get clear. see no way for you to get
on in the world except by becoming a
rascal" Few boys have such a rasca.-
ly father fer an exomple," remarked
the boys mother: and she will be
obliged to split her own kindling wood
for the next three weeks.
Political and dramatic: Old Good
man went to some English opera, when
he was in Chicago, of the Alice Oats
variety. He came home very wrath
full man. 'Don't talk to me any more
about givin' the woman the ballot" he
roared. eff ever / catch q wife or
daughter of mine dancin' in neck
lace and pair of slippers, somebody'll
have to read the riot act before the
ballot is half over, don't care who
tries to stop me-" And the Goodman
girls haven't dared to say woman
suffrage" or wear bangs from that
day to this.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
How She Won Him.

have Just heard the most remarka-
BILE story of the evenness of female
temper. In fact it seems so surprising
to me that / think some record of it
should be embalmed in the archives
OF Quiz. 1t is a beautiful little fairy
story, and may appropriately be called
Chow She Won Him." Indeed, it was
quite enough to win far worse man,
if the worse men are ever won, which
| dare say they are not. 1t happened
in Philadelphia and is in this wise:
You know, or rather, you don't know
until tell you, that there was beau
tiful dinner given 'many years ago."
and she sat opposite him and looked
ever 80 charming in a wine colored
silk with square neck, and otherwise
arrayed as never were the lilies of the
valley; well the idiot of a waiter, in
handling the soup, upset the entire
contents of a plate right into her lap.
Just think of it, girl? The whole front
breadth of it utterly ruined, and for
the world it could not be match
ed. Well, what did she do :?
Did she faint away? Did she
say, you horrid man? Did she scream ?
Not at all; she passed the thing off in
some witty remark about fiery baptism
and calmly resumed her dinner. He,
of course, was delighted, thought her a
most remarkable woman, and indeed
she was; became attentive to her and
finally married her. One evening long
after the event they were sitting before
the fire, the children having gone to
bed, and were talking about old times,
when he said:
"My dear, never told you, l think,
how ] first thought | would like to
marry you, did II"
"Why, gracious goodness, no, never"
"Well," he said, "do you remember
that dinner at Mrs. Simpkins' where
your dress was spoilt by the soup ?"
Indeed, do" she replied. 81 shall
never forget it as long as l live"
"Well," he continued, "you behaved
so well about it that l thought you a
perfect jewel"
eyes" she answered, 81 remember
behaving very well about it at the time,
but good land, you should have seen
the marks of my teeth on tho heapost
that night"
Now, wasn't that just too perfectly
romantic for anything Philadelphia
Quiz.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
How Men Get Rich in Dakota.

Rufus Hatch, in the Ho,w, says: "a
few instances of wealth thus acquired
came under our notice directly, ano
they are only examples of thousand
more. Engineer No. 1, who ran on
the New York Central railroad twenty
seven years ago, was afterward an en-
gineer on the Michigan Central, and
five years ago he went west to the
Northern Pacific, where he is now the
senior engineer that runs out of Fargo.
BY dint of industry and economy he
became the owner of 400 acres of land
adjacent to the last-named place,
which to-day will bring in cash $40, 900.
HID has two sons who are the happy
owners of 1 600 acres of land. One SOD
is rising lawyer.
Engineer No. 2 at Fargo owns four
houses; his income from his rents is
equal to that of bank president in
the city of New York. These men
still ride 10 the cab every day,
holding the throttle of the iron horse, y
with 200 to 500 precious lives in their
charge.
A gentleman named Green, from
Canada, rented an improved farm of
1900 acles in 1881, paying one-third of
the profits as rent. He Melted $13. 900
as his portion for the season. This
year he bought an improved farm of
8 600 acres at 800 per acre, amounting
TO $50 600. He assured me that his
net profits this year would be $25, 900.
He was offered SIS 600 for the farm
after delivering the crop, and he
thought he could get 100000 if he was
willing to sell.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28


In the upper waters of the Thames
during the summr and autumn may be
seen parties of young fellows in fan
Lels marching along with a tow-rope
over their shoulders and singing a
merry chorus. They are pulling boat
steered by one of their number, who
reclines in the stern and looks supreme
ly lazy, his spell of towing being over.
The boat contains q tent and cooking
apparatus, and at nightfail the whole
party camp out on some shady i8let.
Then in the retired backwaters one
constantly encounters the moored
house boats, where families are spend
ing q week or two in continual lnnch-
ing, dczing and pretending to fish.
The favorite craft this year is the newly
introduced Indian canoe. Women al
ways appear rather awkward when
rowing, but pretty girl padding in
one of these canoes looks charming.
They are exceedingly handy to steer,
and neither man nor woman is ever
seen to greater advantage than when
making the graceful movements re-
quired for propelling them.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
Gamers That the Wits Cut

The toper's song: Give US pull al
your jimmy, Johnl
Prize smile: A mortgage on a house
is like worm-hole in an apple. Before
you know it there is more worm-hole
than fruit.
A medical matter: An old lady,
hearing that John Bright contemplated
visiting this country, hoped that he
wouldn't bring his disease" with
him.
Uncle Rube's philosophy; "Ef yer
want ter make omen mad an appear
pleased, tell her oh fault; but ef yer
wanster make her pleased an appear
mad, tell her that she's good look.
ing"
Repeating a remark: A young man
in train was making fun OF lady's
hat to an elderly gentleman in the seat
with him. "Yes,r said his seat mate
'tbat's my wife, and told her if she
wore that bonnet that some fool would
make fun of it.
A devoted husband: "It's no use
talking" said Mrs. Fogg, decisively
81 tell you / can't think of living in
Blanktown. know shall die If | &c
there" "Dc you, my dear?, replied
Fogg, with unwonted animation. "Pl
go and engage the house Immediately
A moon with boot: IBID you ses
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
Swinging in Mid-Air.
Description Of coli
Memphis Avalanche.

The little four-year-old son of Mr.
Henry Buttenbery, the Second street
furniture man, had narrow escape
from death yesterday. While playing
on the first floor of the store he began
climbing up rope attached to wind
lass, by which goods are raised or
lowered from one story to the other.
Just at that moment mattress was
placed upon the platform at the third
floor: the little one was suddenly lifted
from the floor by the descending
weight at toe other extremity of the
rope, and before any one could inter
fere he was twenty feet up in the air.
With rare presence of mind for one SC
young, he chung to the rope with his
hands and feet and cried out at the TOP
of his voice. Major ]. ]. Murphy, who
happened to be in the store, ran to the
rescue, and calling to the child to hold
on, seized the windlass and in few
moments had him lowered down tc
the first floor.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
THE GIEsES

Hear the laughter of the girls
Pretty girlsl
What fund Of merriment each ruby lip unfurls
Hew they chatter, chatter, chatter,
In the balmy air of night
While the stars that over-sLlatter
All the heavens hear their clatter
In a soft ard mild delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort Of ringing rhyme,
To the Naturalization that unceasing, ever purls
From the girls, girls, girls, girls,
Girls, girls girls,
From the wild, capricioxs saucy. jaunty girls.
See the flirting Of the girls,
Radiant girls
How the softened brain Of lover wildly Whirs.
Through the mazes of the ball,
Up and down the stately hall
How he skipped to and fro
And prespiredi
Would that we could tell the idiot all we knew
OF the fires
Into which the false enc hurts
Each new Tic.in-see the fame-how It sTlrls
How il curlsi
How il curls,
Better far that they were churls.
Than fall victim to the girls
To the prattle and the rattle
OF the girls girls. girls,
OF the girls, girls, girls, girls
Girls, girls, girls
To the saeking and heart-raeklng Of the girls
Rare PIE
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
THE October number of DEMoREsr's

THE October number of DEMoREsT S
MONTHLY MAGAZINE combines most
aereeably the useful and the entertain
ing, and contains vast amount of in
formation on a variety of subjects.
1.-THE Plantin Museum at Antwerp"
IA Trip to the West, "Woman's Work
and Wages" and Talks with Won en-, y
by Jennie June, are all capital articles.
The Household Department is well
filed, the articles on Home Art and
Home Comfort" and "How to Treat
Our Doors" being especially good.
Mrs. Alexander's entertaining story,
''The Admiral's Ward" is continued,
and the shorter stories are excellent.
Current Topics" ''The Fashions,
poems, and miscellaneous articles,
complete this interesting number. The
oil picture, "a Trial of Patience" is
quite gem, and the engravings are
admirable.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

One of the hardest woods in exist
ence is that of the desert ironwood tree
which grows in the dry wastes along
the line of the Southern Pacific Rail
road. It's specific gravity is nearly the
same as that of lgnum ylte, and it has
black heart, so hard, when seasoned,
that it will turn the edge of an ak and
can scarcely be cut with well-temper.
ed saw. In burning it gives out an in
tense heat.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
How Much Million Dollars Weighs
Scientific American

Mr.. E. B. Elliott, the government
actualy, has computed the weight of a
million dollars in gold and silver coin
as follows:
The standard gold dollar of the
United States contains of gold of nine
tenths fineness Is 8 grains, and the
standard silver dollar contains nine
tenths fineness AIS 5 grains. One mill
lion standard gold dollars, consequent
ly weighs Is 100000, or $3.50 ounces
troy, or 1879 16 pounds troy, of 500
grains each, or 3,61571 pounds avoir-
dupois of 1000 grains each, or 1,843-
1000 short tons of 1000 pounds
avoirdupois each, or / GAS 1000 long "
tons of 1900 pounds avordupois each.
One million standard silver dollars
412 100000 grains, or 859,3 1875 ounces
troy. or II, CLASS pounds troy, or So,
928 81 pounds avoirdupois, or 20 464-
100 ''short" tons of 1000 pounds avoir-
dupois each, or 26 307- / 600 "long" tons
of Z,249 pounds avoirdupois each. In
round numbers the following table re-
presents the weight of a million dol
lars in the coins named:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
HomcEopATHIc Family Medicine cases

Homeopathic Family Medicine cases
and books, giving concise directions fer
treating all common ailments, are a
great comfort, and a positive saving in
every household. The best assortm ent
of all styles and prices is found at
Boericke & Tafel's Homeopathic Phar-
macies, ae New York, Philadelphia,
Baltimore, New Orleans and Chicago.
Descriptive price current gratis.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Still mistaken: A lawyer, not over
stocked in the upper story, and noted
for verbosity and shallowness, was try
ing case before Judge Gray. This
case was plain, so there was little use
of argument, and MIR. Shallow had the
strong side, but he was determined to
''improve the occasion" The Judge
leaned over and said: Mr., the
Court is with you, without argument, .
"But, will you not hear my argument
ooh. certainly" said the Judge. Then
ensued characteristic harangue of
an hour or two. AT its conclusion
the Judge said: MIR, the Court is
still with you"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

The salvation army held a meeting
on the steps of the New York City
Hall Wednesday afternoon. and was
treated with marked disrespect by the
crowd When prayer was offered for
the conversion of the police the idlers
roared with laughter. The army had
8 permit from the Mayor, and several
policemen were present to see that the
men and women were not molested.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

A Acknowledgment man: The gen
tleman stepped on the coal dealers
platform scales and asked to be weigh
ed. The dealer said: "Why, certain
lyl" and called to the man inside to
take the weight. And the man thought
it was coal he was weighing and shout
ed back the weight six hundred pounds.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

*.*"Slow and steady wins the race" Steadily
but not slowly Kldncy-Wort Is distancing al
competition for universal popularity and useful
ness. This celebrated remedy can now be oh
tanned in the usual dry vegetable form, or in
liquid form, 1t is put up in the latter way for
the especial convenience of those who cannot
readily prepare it. 1t will be found very coneen-
trated and will act with equal efficiency in either
form Read advertisement
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
KAIAMazoo Mich. Feb. 2. 1881

know Hop Bitters will bear recommendation
honestly. All who use them confer upon then
the highest enconiums, and give them credit fol
making cures-all the propretors claim for them
have kept them since they were first offered Il
the public. They took high rank from the first
and maintained it, and are more called for thar
all others combined. So long as they keep NJ
their high reputation for purity and usefulness,
shall continue to recommend them-something
have never before done with anv other patent
medicine. j. j. BABCOCk, NJ. ID.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

WILLING HANDS AND WILLING

How gratifying to the invalid husband to know
that willing hands smooth his pillow; willing
hands prepare his food and give him medicine,
and that willing hearts are praying for his recoy
cry. Goa bless the women Sad it is when the
wife is ILL sad il is when her health breaks down.
Husbands who love their wives will provi them
with DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla.
1t is the best medicine in the world for curing all
female complaints, and strengthening the female
system.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Persons whose blood has been corrupted, and
the circulation deranged by foul secretions-the
result of the disordered chemistry Of the body
need for their publication something like an in
ward baptism at the hands OF Mrs Lydia E.
Pinkham, whose laboratory is at No 2S3 Western
Avenue, Lynn Mass. Her Vegetable Compound
is fairly nundating the country as with river Of
lifn
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

FeR DYSPEPSIA, INDIeEsTIoN. Depression Of
also as preventive against Fever and Ague, and
other Intermittent Fevers, the "FERRo-PHosPHo-
Rated ELIXIR OF CALIsAvA," made by Caswell
Hazard & Co., New York, and sold by all drug
gists is the best tonic and for patients recover
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

COMMON COLDS NEGLECTED cause one
half the deaths. Consumption turks in every
cough. often using as mask the rudy cheek
and sparkling eye till its deadly seeds deeply
planted in the system EILERT'S ELIXIR OF
TAR AND WILD CHERRY viii surely cur,
colds, coughs, Group, catarrh, bronchial COM
plants and ward of consumption.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
BURKE, WALKER & co.

DUMB, w AIhEh u w.
occupying the FIVE story block, 100 by l66 feet
230 to 236 Adams street. Beginning bust
ness there last January, under exceptionally
favorable auspices, their trade has more than
doubled their expectations, and is increasing be-
yond all precedent.
Mr.. Burke, for the last twenty-five years, has
occupied leading position in the wholesale trade
of Chicago is favorably known to the business
men of the west, and, by previous training and
business experience is specially well fitted for this
enterprise.
Mr.. Walker, for the last FIVE years, was the
business manager of the great dry goods house Of
A. I. Stewart a. Co., in Chicago, and was trained
to the business and famiiarized with the details
of vast dry goods trade in the New York house,
He has added to his knowledge of the dry goods
trade in the east O thorough acquaintance with
the condition and wants of this trade in the west
As the firm of a. T. Stewart & Co. was retir-
ing from business, they secured the services OF a
large corps of their clerks and statesmen, so that
the house thus organized knew the standing and
had the good will OF western merchants at the
start. Importing largely, they have been
singularly fortunate in their foreign connections
IN selecting one of the most competent, expert
enced and trustworthy experts in foreign goods at
the head of their European house. Such a com
bination of favorable conditions rarely unites in
the persons of so competent men to inauguratc
their entrance upon great mercantile enterprise
as attended the introduction of this new house e
the dr. goods trade of Chicano. Both the active
partners are in the prime and vigor OF manhood
and good representatives of the class of merchants
who have given character, wealth and fame to
Chicago.
With ample capital, Astounding industry and
enterprise, courteous and affable manners adapted
to make and retain friends. and a resolute pur-
pore to win success by deserving it, and with the
hearty good will of their contemporaries, this
house has taken very prominent part in the dry
goods trade of the West 1t is the union Of
active, experienced members of old, large and
eminently successful houses in new firm, to con-
duct business which they thoroughly UNDER
stand, in field in which they are well and favor
ably known
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

golden MEDICAL DIscovERyn Trademark
registered) Is not only a sovereign remedy for
consumption. but also for consumptive night
sweats, bronchitis coughs splitting of blood, weak
lungs, shortness of breath and kindred affections
of the throat and chest. By druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Sumter, S. c., will shortly be con-
nected with Charleston via the South
Carolina railway. Twenty thousand
dollars have been subscribed.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

A grea: improvement has recently been made
in that useful product CARBoLTEE a deodorizeG
extract of petroleum. which is the only article
that really cures badness. 1t is now the finest
az hair dressings
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

A panther six feet in length was re-
Gently killed in Buchanan county, Va.
1t had for long time been terror to
the neighborhood.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
To Ladies'

suffering from functional arrangements or any Of
the painful disorders or weaknesses incd ent to
their sex, DR.. Pierce's treatise, illustrated with
wood-cuts and colored plates. suggests sure
means OF complete self-cure. Sent for three let
ter postage stamps. Address WoRLD's DIsPES-
sARV MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, n. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Aliens " Iron Tonic Bitters" will supply de-
fciency Of iron in the blood better than any Other
known remedy, as the iron in these btters Is il
the most perfect state to be taken up and assimi
lated by the system.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Seventy specimens of North Caro-
lima building stones have been trans
ferred from the state geological mu
scum to the national museum at
Washington.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

The Tropical railroad of Florida is
steadily nearing Tampa, and the
Guardian expects to hear the toot of
the locomotive within a few months.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

UEvery color of the Diamond Dyes is per-
feet. See samples of the colored cloth at the
druggists. Unequalled for brillisncy.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Unlike other cathartics, DR.. Pie ce's Pellets
do not render the bowels costivs after operation
but, on the contrary, establish permanently
healthy action. Being entirely vegetable no par
ticuIar care Is required while using them. By
druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

An illinois girl eloped in her bare
feet. After few weeks there will be a
misunderstanding, and she will return
home for her shoes.-N. Y. Commercial.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

A Florida gentleman is alleged to
have refused an offer of $4,000 for a
twelve-acre orange grove planted five
years ago.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
1870
Decline of Ma

There ore but seventeen negro resi-
dents in Winston county. Alabama
and only four voters.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28
Nennnr,. FredfcfInns

Vennors predictions so far have been wonder
fully correct He says 1882 will be remembered
as a year Of great mortality. German Hop Bit
tiers should be used by every body.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

A Virginia physician says he has
never known an habitual consumer OF
tobacco to have the typhoid fever.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

DR. wINCHELL'S TEETHING SYRUP il
Just the medicine tor mothers b. We in the house
for the children. 1t will cure colds, sore throat
and regulate the bowels. Do not fail TO give it q
trial, you will be pleased with its charming
afaots Cald hv all drr 0ofsta
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

The saw-fish now to be seen at St
Augustine, Fla, weighs eight hundred
pounds, and is fourteen feet long.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

The recent Florida storm was the
worst that has visited Tallahassee since
1919
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

Files and Bugs.
Flies reaches, ants bed bugs rats, mice gophers,
chipmunks cleared out by "Roug on Rats" 15c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-28

The comptroller of Texas recently
paid into the treasury $4,000 to the
account of the drummers' tax.