The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1882-07-13
Some Matrimonial Mistakes.


with each other; they will be more what
is called set in their ways, and less hap
py ia The marriage relation. This may
be laid down as rule, though il has nu.
! ineFous exceptions. think lie ages
hafs just given arc good marrying ages,
whether you consider morals, health, or
FINANCES People should make their
choice long enough before they are
married to he sure what sort of 4 person
it is to whom they are intrnsting the
happiness Of their future. If, by carly
choice you mean boy and girl selections,
| do not believe in them. refer you
again to 81. Romans Vel. The heroine
complains of blighted distracted life,
but says, When was il otherwise, with
engagements formed in youth and Jolly
You and | would, you know, become
man AID woman while we were yet
scarcely more than children. Let us
suppose that this carly choice meansa very
early marriage; say the girl OF sixteen
or seventeen marrrie5 the lad oil twenty:
Now there are many such couples, anu
the marriage is usually without the con-
sent Of the parents on either SIDE. Inc
girls parents would feel that she Is lar 100
young for the cares OF married lie, the
Eoy'5 parents feel that he is too young
CILIltT 10 KNOW Ills own Va w SNH
port wife. When these matches are
made, the unfortunate parents on either
side are usually forced 10 support n
household for which they are not respon-
siblc. Their consent WAS not asked by
the youthful advcnturers. but their caro-
and money are freely demanded. The
mother, who is scarcely rcstcd from the
fatigues of bringing up her own niue
family--whp has perhaps just seen her
nursery vacated by the last small candi-
date for the school room is obliged to
rcassume these Same burdens for the chill
drer of the two youthful parents"
At this minute the doctor, who WIS in
search of his son Thomas, thrust his head
in the window. He had heard the last
remarks and interposcd. "Now have o
word to say TO you young folks. and ]
want you all to heed it. Some of you
think it very smart to run of end get
married, long before any one thinks you
are old enough. Miss lancies that she
has raised herself far above her playmates
by her early matronhooG. And young
master, who ought to be pursuing his
studies, or learning tue first steps in the
business Of his life, struts about, aud
takes airs us n married man. 1T is sight
to make doctors weep, if nobody else, for
zee know what will come Of it. Now
am notgoiug to mince matters The prob.
abilities in this case are for large fam
lily Of children, near of an age, and fee
bile in body aud mind. These premature.
lv married couples have not physical and
mental maturity sufficient for robust and
vigorous. Drained children. Tho poor
young parents will gro,0 oM fast enough
in watching sleepless nights with baby
a,,Horaru u.hop fbav 0nt bv npv nOl.
ability nurae with judgment--and in
following little coflins. The girl, who at
sixteen WINS vain Of being bride, is very
likely not to see twenty four II she does,
she will be pale, thin, careworn her Vi
vacity gone, her hopefuluess lost in many
disasters, Just when the companions of
her childhood are in the first freshness of
young beauty, hone, and love. There 10
another point to be looked at In these
over.early marriages women grow Old
much faster than men. The girl, two or
thice years the Junior Of her boy bride
groom, soon begins to look older than
he does. at thirty he is yet youpg
man, while, if she has lived SO long, che
looks like an old woman, having SO long
sustained cares to which she was entirely
unequal Ten TO one the man has by
this time found out that he made has
ty choice; every year has widened differ
ences between them. He has grown
mentally, while she, poor soul has no
time to grow. He is shut out from
pleasure which he longs to enjoy: his
home is burden, his wife n drag. She
compares herself with others and sees the
difference. She feels that her hus and
over.persuaded her to take step whose
result has been bitterness. 1t is not
pretty picture, but unhappily it is true
iii every line, and miserably and often
the eyes of all foolish girls and h5ys."
"WoIl," said John Frederick, "sinco
the doator has drawn us such picture OF
premature marriages, who will utter o
similar Jeremiad over Long Engage.
me,its 2"
II will" said the stranger, promptly.
"1hcy arc dangerous things."
"But in what are they dangerous2 ?
They give people time TO become ma
care and seae.b!e h.eGeEe !hey marry"
"And also timo to grow apart from
each other; to change, 10 see, perhaps,
some one who suits them better. and to
marry with only half heart Take aucFl
an instance as this ut an academy or
high school, youth OF eighteen becomes
engaged to girl OF nearly his own age.
He goes from the school to college, then
through his professional studies, say for
seven years if he stops TO help himself
by teaching, let us say nine years. Then
he is lucky If two years moro will give
him such O start in life TINT he may mar.
fy. He is twenty. eight or thirty; he has
had ten or twelve years Of mental growth
and rapid progress he has Learned much
Of men and OF things, seen much of 80.
ciety. Suppose in this time, the girl has
not pursued her studies, she hes paid no
heed to books then her mind has re-
trograded, for mind can not stand still.
Shut up in her home, with few interests,
few sources of improvement, the years Of
waiting haze been harder on her than on
him. The fact of her engagement has
shut her out from many little attentions
that otherai have received her early
companions havemarried and found 9TH
or homes the next younger aet have
grown up, and think her old. Her story
may be fortunately different, but IT, is
often exactly this; her lover remains
true to his promise, though the first
warmth of his feelings has died out with
distance aud new occupations. They
find themselves strangers to each other;
they have SO chengedl He thought she
was younger and brighter: she thought
he was moro tender. They each might
have been better suited, If that youthful
fancy had not been bound by an engage
ment.n
"Well, how help all this 2" said Peter.
Exercise common sonse. When q
young man has arranged such plan for