davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
The Old Sexton.

Not long ago travelling agent
called at Dobson's house, Carson
City, with a yard sprinkler. 1t was
a simple affair, only cost dollar
and a quarter, and when tested on
the end of q hose could be stuck
anywhere in the ground. Each
evening the chi ten came in drench-
ed to their skin, were spanked IN
due form and seat to bed, while
their garments wei dried before the
kitchen stove. The ext thing on
the programme was wonaa at
tending TO four sick children. Yes
tcrdav the door-bell rangaad a SOL
emn man walked into the parlor,
and unpacking Z valise remarked
Il presume, madam, that yea
sometimes have the black winged
angel of death flop It's flyers in this
house, eh ?"
Tne lady was forced to admit
that such indeed was thecase.
Here is a new style OF colin plate
especially adapted to the wants Of
large family. Ithas a place for the
photograph of the deceased. Per
sons looking at the corpse can com
pare the waxy features of toe dead
with the Photographic counterpart
OF the living, and Judge at a glance
of the change wrought bv the fell
destroyer"
'Ah, yes you will they cost but
a trifle and can always be kept
ready Tor use. You simply tack it
on top OF the coffin. No undertake
er objects. | hear child coughing
in the next room. There is q death
in that cough, madam. The sum
mons Of Izriel, the destroyer, is at
hand. know that only last week
you bought a yard sprinkler of 4
little red-headed man in gray clothes.
| keep right behind him. Every
family that buys a sprinkler needs
q patent coffin-plate. He belongs
to the same firm with me-"
The woman controlled her feel
ings sufficiently to decline, and the
man asked to be directed to the
family where a death was likely to
occur. Being directed to . house
OH the next street where a bulldog
was kent in the front yard, the agent
skipped gayly away, whistling The
Old sexton in u JOYOUS key.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

Itisa beautiful legend OF the
Ngse Land
Amilias was the village black
smith, and under ;he spreading
Chestnut treekin his village smith
opken stood. He the hot iron ge-
hammered and sjhod horses for fifty
cents round please. lie made tin
hieImets 6Or the gadds and stove-
pipe trousers for the heroes.
Mimi Tas rival Blacksmith.
lie did. go in very much for de-
fensiye armor, but he was lightning
on two-edged bjswords, and cut and
slash svricutlasssses. He made
ciheeseknives for the other gjodds,
and he made the great Bisvestnsen
an Arkansaw tjoothpick that would
make a free incision clear into the
transverse semi-colon of a cast iron
Ichthyosaurus, and never turn its
edge. That was the kind of a Bhjair-
pin Mimir he said he was.
One day Amilias made All impen
etrable suit of armor for a second
class gjodd, and put it OH himself to
test it, and boastfully inserted card
in the ''Svensska Norderb iravisk
ljkanaheldespjv genekgoriodovuszi-
akenj,p saying that he was wearing
suit of homemade, best chilled
Norway merino underwear that
would knick the unnumbered saw
teeth in the potmetal cutlery OF the
ironmongery over the way. That,
Amilias remarked 10 his friend,
Bjohnn Birobinson, WAS the kind of
a Bdjucck he was.
When Mimir spelled ou the card
next morning, he said 'Biil" and
went to work with a charcoal fur
mace, cold anvil, and A. 7. Hays
isomorphoric process, and in a little
while he came down street with a
sjyaard that glittered like a dollar
store diamond, and met Amilias
down by the new opera house. Am
ilias buttoned on his new bjarmor
and said
"If you have no hereafter use for
your old chyjeese knife, strike"
Mimir spat on his hands, whirled
his sjvaard above his head and fetch
ed Amilias swipe that seemed to
miss everything except the empty
air through which it softly whistled.
Amilias smiled and said, "Go on"
addins that it seemed to him he felt
q general sensation of cold iron
somewhere in the neighborhood, but
be hadn't been hit"
Shake yourself" said Mimir.
Amilias shook himself, and i'm
mediately fell into halves, the most
neatly divided man that ever went
beside himself.
THAT'S where the boiler maker
was away off in his diagnosis" said
Mimir, as he went back to his shop
to put mp the price OF cutlery sixty
FIVE per cent. on all lines, with an
unlimited advance on all special
orders.
Thus do we learn that a good ac-
ton is never thrown away, and
that kind words and patient love
will overcome the harshest nature
Hgrke,e.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
In Enthusiastic Endorsement.
GoRHAM. n. h. July Il. 70.

GoRHAM, n. f., July II, 10.
Geats:-Whoever you are, ! don't
know; but l thank the Lord and
feel grateful to you to know that
in this world cf adulterated medi-
cines there is one compound that
proves and does all it advertises to
do, and more. Four years ago
had a slight shock Of palsy, which
unnerved me TO such an extent that
the least excitement would make me
shake ike the ague. Last May |
was induced to try Hop Bitters. I
used one bottle, but did not see any
change; another did so change my
nerves that they are now as steady
as they ever were.
1t used TO take both hands to
write, but now my good right hand
writes this. Now, if you continue
to manufacture as honest and good
an article as you do. you viii accu-
mulate an honest fortune, and con-
Ter the greatest blessing on your fell
low-men that was ever conferred on
mankind.
TIN BUReH.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18


One Of the most remarkable pc
culiariiies OF the average American
is his aversion to walking. Men,
as well as women. seem TO regard
their legs with profound contempt
as means Of locomotion. 1t is not
an unusual thing to see young
man or woman mount a dirty,
crowded street car for the sake of
an eight squares ride though the
day be sunny aud cool. As for
country folks, who has everscen hus-
band and wife, or young man and
sweetheart, saunter out to Forest
Grove or Tower Grove park on foot ?
In nine cases out of ten the young
man who would dare propose such
a piece Of pedertrianism 10 his girl
would get the mitten for his pains.
And yet walk 10 either of those
parks would only be q stretch Of
four or five miles. Even boys Of
all ages, from the youngster of ten
and upwards, seem TO share this
unnatural Aversion to what is the
most glorious Of all ezercis es, when
taken in moderation. In Europe,
on the contrary, nothing in the way
of physical enjoyment is so gener-
ally appreciated as a good walk.
The man and woman, the old and
Young, a stroll in the country is a
luxury and even to those who live
in the country daily walk is al
mosta necessity. A young lady
does not wait until her beau can al
ford to take her out in a carriage.
A walk OF five or ten miles by his
side, or on his arm is much pleas
anter than a buggy ride Or car
riage drive. They can ramble in
whatever direction or at whatever
gait they please They can stray
from the llighroads to by-paths,
stop here to admirea beautiful view,
and rest there to listen to the muir
muring of 4 brook or watch an open
expanse OF water. No flowers are
so pretty as those plucked by the
roadside, no pebbles SO wonderful
as those that you pick up by the
meadow brook. The best trained
mocking-birds warbIe forth no mu-
sic like the wild birds Of the woods,
their sweet songs accompanied by
the mysterious rustling Of the trees,
or the wonderful gush Of rythmic
pulsations that are waited from a
neighboriDg corn field over which
the breeze sweeps lovingly. The
berries and nuts Of the city taste in
sipid when compared with those
you gather on your ramble through
the country. Yet all these enjoy
ments and all the accessory consid- |
erations OF health and increased ap-
petite, seem TO have no temptation
Tor our people. They prefer to re
main lazy in their houses in the city, /
and in their leisure hours regale |
themselves voluntarily with the
same atmosphere of dust, sewer gas, (
and unspeakabie smells that in
their time Of work and sleep they /
are compelled to inhale rather than |
set their legs in motion for q good (
trot into the country.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

A countryman, up0n coming TO
see the sights, was take" by a town
friend TO the theatre. When the
lights were down aud the play had
commenced, he was offered the use
of an opera glass. Examining it as
closely rs the darkness Of the place
would permit, ne placed it to his
mouth and turned it upwards Find
ing that no liquid was coming out
of it, he handed il back in despair,
saying, It's empty, John: there's
not a single drap in't."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

hands fashioned Tor him 4 fraerant
bouquet, and two bright eyes flash
cd up into his He hears the rEst.
ling of garment, and looking up.
secs Beatrice Irving standing before
him. She is attired IN her iavorite
color, amber,and wearstle oldgleam-
ING Jewels.
Their eyes meet. and the yellow
in hers burns brighter. She leans
over the counter and her Jewels fash
in the gas light
a bouquet, SIR she asks, with
q moeking smile.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
every Time.

4 man, or even a piece of machin-
cry that docs its work right every
time, is we think, very correctly
Judged valuable And certainly
none the less valuable is any article
designed to relieve the Ills Of man
kind, and which does so every time.
Messrs. Jones, Cook & Co, Bay
State Brewery, Boston, Mass, write:
We have used st, Jacobs Oil among
our men and find that it helps
them every time" We therefore
heartily recommend it as a pain
healing liniment. -keoiak Coaasie-
{i66
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

The lumberman floats his logs
down stream and introduces them
to the circular saw as his buzz'um
friend
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

jones says thatafter trying for years
to photograph his girl on his heart,
AL he got from her in the end was a
negative.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

Peruna IS net an experiment, but
q fixed fact: a single bottle viii con-
vince you.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

is now the style to paint your
marble mantles in imitation OF
wood.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

! Young girl in New Orleans was
recently fined five dollars for en-
braciug q man.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
why Is Ii /?

That some men want to drink ev.
cry ton minutes
That women wear such big hats
That selfish people always GET
along so well ?
That everybody likes to talk about
the weather?
That fat people are generally hap
py?
That people prefer cold weather
and sleighing for Christmas week
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

Death has just robbed Il New Jer-
sey toll-gate man Of . 425 pound
wife.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

Write to Mrs. Lydia L. Pinkhain,
2SS Western Avenue, Lynn, Mass.
for names of ladies that have been
restored 70 perfect health by the
use Of hoI Iegetable Compound. It
Z positive cure for the most strb-
born case Of female weakness.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
chicago and COUNCIL BLUFFS.
PllIa3l sIs...als al Il N.gat TrsII-.

Insist on Ticket Agents selling you Tickets VIA
this road. Examine y0ur Tickets. and refuse %
buy II they 10 not read over the Chicago = North
Western Raiiway.
II you wish the Best TravelIng Accommoia-
tons you vii. buy your Tickets ty this route.
es-AND WILL TAKE NONE OTHER.
an Ticket A AgeEis sell Tickets 5y this Tiac.
MARVIN Rue HlTr, - Y. ?. s Gent 1i 1ianar'r,
Chicago.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
BALTIMORE & oHIoBAlLR0l9
PIrTsBrRaR nIr1s.o.


On and after May =. tssl. l-sins e.. t,.,
will depart trom AM arrive 20 1-la- al-..-..-.
en3 water Streets. as l0ll5Bl
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

ia mercantile circles q hanging Is
now alluded TO rs forced suspen-
sion.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18
MAIL

TIE Express train leaves Pitts.u-sl a. s-.
n. arriving at CeuncusTille I5Di = Il r
wood il40 2. u. In return ths Ert7zr =
Cumberland So 2-55 A. 81, ar-i7ifr :
wood s.a3 a. ~, C0nnei-zF.ils f.i y b =
bargh 7.s5 A. ".
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

The most direct and a-easll. -11.. e IL ia
an! south via WashipEron CIV
through hail leaving a- I3.lI 4. z -
P. NJ; Phiiapeiplia 5.iQ A. z. l,ea Y.-..r
n; Richmond lis5 A.
Through Express. lea~t-F sos Fg
riyes 81 y asainEtrn a. $50 A.H-- aa-r
A. X Ph.ia1cirlia: l.-l p. ll- T.T...-,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

Through -laii trains --ls
Expssss traifs ,.1iiT exec slnlr.
Accun mcd1tisl trans 5Ll FsTea F
daily exeePt SGlday.
Ticker ofaree, cCrle- Flfh AT--us
streets. and depot clrrs- Gram and . E.s-.
Pittsburgh. Pa
q. X. lord. Gen. Passs1-sr 1..-.
"a II. c1LE, General Ticks. az....
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

The Mail, north and &C.,. q {
Los1l train daily except Suue,- - ,sAy
VA tlie Pittsburgh Diri4lsr Z
,5itya-h . PASSENGER ifaias, east i1..,i ~
lockwood % III ,. n.. aa.i ii..- = f''i IA.
lssPse.issly sS ~ WashingtG1 at ~ - ,s'ril.,
nays ,a.y ana ~ hext morning. and E, 49,. ~ s
" = ~, 80 si, ay, l' A. 20 usTl -1
az 3;34 a. m, AM p a.. snf 49,. b1ii.,
4 ~, end 9.is p. a.. ar,igIr~ -,. ~. g, ID,
hoczTooa at o2i p. n, ana =, F, = --i-'s.I
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-18

she called you
~Tress,' interrupts the girl. - s,
that was her pct name for me-
There is a long silence then lsl-
mer raises his white, haggard face.
Beatrice" he says, II meant no
harm to your sister. / did not
dream Of such a sad ending. | was
young then, young and foolish.
Can You not forgive me ? WIN
YOU"
But she interrupts him with a
mock;ng laugh, and turning. flies
down tie garden path. He secs her
ambre robe nuttering in the moon
light, and her jewels fash forth tiny
flames Of fire ; then she is gone. and
nc is alone with his sorrow and de-
spair.
They do not meet again, and the
next day Beatrice bids her hostess
farewell. and returns 20 the CITY.
One year later, Elmer Richards
goes to a second charity fair. He
has been persuaded much against his
viii, however, TO attend, and now
he saunters arm in arm with a
friend, paying little attention to the
gay scenes around him: they fail to
interest and amuse him AZ they once.
did.
0aiy one year has passed since
tAat night IN the moonlit garden.
yet there are deep lines on his hand
some face, and his dark brown hair
IS streaked with gray. He has not
Outlived his sorrow; it has followed
him and crushed him down. max
ing him an cid man long before his
.ine.
Before q stand OF flowers he
Dauses. and memory carries him
pack to the time when two white
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29
Nem ADVERTISEMENTS.
Over
Druggists
AND
Physicians
Have Signed or Endorsed the
Following Remarkable
Document:


Messrs Seabury & Johnson, Manufacture
ing Chemists, 81 Platt St., New York:
Gentlemen For the past few years we
have sold various brands Of Porous Plas.
tiers. Physicians and the Public prefer
Benson's Capoine Porous Plaster to all
others We consider them one Of the very
few reliable household remedies worthy
Of confidence. They are superior to all
other Porous Plasters or Liniments for
external use.
Benson's Capeine Plaster is a genuine
Pharmaceutical product, Of the highest
order Of merit, and so recognized by
physicians and druggists.
When other remedies fail get Ben
sons Capcine Plaster.
You will be disappointed if you use
cheap Plasters, Liniments, Pads or Elec-
trical Magnetic toys.
SURE REMEDY AT LAST. Price 95cis
n MEAD'S indicated CORN and BtjNl0N PLASTER
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29
DRUGS, Paints, Oils, C0lOrs, Varnishes, Glass

In Drugs and Medicines purity and care in
compromising are of the greatest Importance.
The undersigned calls your attention to this,
las ne exercised great care in selecting his
Drugs. and in the preparing of the same not
only the greatest care is exercised but every
thing is proceeded with scientifically. The
stock is the most varied in this county, and
the prices always the lowest, quality consid-
dered. You will also find the finest stock of
Druggists Sundries, Yankee Notions. Toilet
Goods of every description, Fancy Articles for
weddings, birthdays, &c.
In Paints, Oils, Brushes, Colors. Varnishes>
Plate and Window Glass no competitor will
sincerely claim to equal my stock. neither in
quantity, quality or price, my goods being the
very best grades in the market. Every thing
guaranteed My facilities for handling goods
are double those of any other establishment.
Thanking the public for their liberal patron.
age in the past, and hoping to serve the same
and a great many more in 1881. [ am truly
yours. G.. GEHRING. Druggist.
North of Court House. Ottawa, III.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29

Supervisor Wylle, chairman of the com
mittee on equalization Of personal property,
submitted the following report;
Wr. Chairman djsd Gent5emen u tie B0drd
Of Supervisors Your committee on personal
property would respectfully report that they
have examined the equalization OF personal
property presented before them, and the fol.
loving per centages 20 be added or deducted
from the assessments made and returned by
the various assessors Of this county as set
forth in the annexed schedule, which is
made a part OF this report:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29
Al Of which is respectfully submitted.
ALEX WYLIE, Chairman

Supervisor Gilbert moved 10 amend the
report by striking out the portion thereof
relating to the town of La Sale and suhsti-
tutinC therefor a accommodation that the
assessment book of the town of La Sale be
returned 10 the assessor Of said town with
directions To make such reasscssmcnt of
the personal property of said town that the
aggregate thereof shall he increased twenty
per cent over the assessment rs heretofore
returned by HIM.
Supervisor HOge (W.) moved the previous
question. The chair then announced shall
the main question now be put" which was
carried.
The question then recurring upon the
mendment, the ayes and noes were demand.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29
TO CONSUMPTIVES.

The advertiser having permanently cured OF That
dread disease Consumption, by simple remedy Is anxious
make known to hs sllOwsuerers the means of cure.
To all who desire IL he will send copy of the prescription
used free charge with the directions for preparing and
using the same which they will find Cure. for
{ 'oughs- Colds. Consumption, - Sthma,
Bron ChitiS De.
Parties wishing the Prescription will please address Rev
F.. a. WILSON. 1884, Penn 81. Wmmsburgh n. !.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29

nR. VIM. SHEPPARD, Member Of the Royal
~ College of Veterinary Surgeons, England; Fellow OF
the London Veterinary Medical Associations also Veterna
ry Editor Duntons Spirit Of the Tur can be copsuted al
aug s
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29
PIMPLES.

will mail free the recipe for simple Negeta bile
Balm that will remove Tan, Erecll le4. iimples
and lotChes leaving the skin soft clear and hCautiiul
also instructions for producing uXuran growth of hair
bald head smooth face Address, nCOslng &c stamp,
Bon Nandelt y Co, u BARCLAY 81. y. Y.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29
ERRORS OF YOUTH.

\ GENTLEMAN who suffered fpg years from NERVOUS
DEBILITY. PREMAIUR RI DECAY and all the effects of
Youthful ndiScreOn. Will for tho sake of suffering human.
v send free 70 all who need the recipe ana direction for
maEing the simple remedy by which hc cured Suffer.
wishing profit by the advertisers experience do
hy addressing In pcrtec confidence,
apr22-ly JOHN b. OGDEN, y Cedar 81, New York.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-29

HAIR WORII.-Ladies desiring irst-Class Hair
IL Work. such Saratoga Waves, Switches, fri11es,
Curs and Hair ,ewery, should call Miss E,In
l.. Hill, three blocks east of Fox river bridge. waves
of all kinds re-lressed. apr22-3mOs
Daily Republican., 1882-09-11
No OVeraIlNeed Apply,

What has Col. "Tom" Ford done that
he was not nominated for the Legisla
ture on Saturday, instead OF George II.
Bates, Esq ? He was also a candidate
for the Sheritf's nomination in 1880,
and polled more votes Ghan either Mr..
Barlow or Mr.Justis. He with them was
showed off the sheritf's Office track this
year to give Mr.. Lynch full sway, but
Mr.. Barlow and Nr.Justis are rewarded
by being nominated for the Legislature,
while Col. Ford, more popular than
either, and polling more votes than
both put together, is left out in the
cold, How is this ? Is it because
| Messrs. Barlow and Justis belong to
the "SWallow tails" of the Democratic
party and Col. Ford belongs to the
| "Overalls?"Is Is it the understau ding that
hereafter no man Of Irish descent and
member of the Catholic church shall
aspire to the office of Legislator or that
of Levy Courtman? Is it understood
that they are good enough for Assess.
ors, City Councilmen and policemen,
but not good enough to look after coun-
ty affairs and make laws for the State?
There must have been some barter and
traffic in the Democratic nominations
somewhere. When it was agreed by
the County Democr ltic ring that Mr..
Barlow and Mr.. Justis should be nomi.
mated for the Legislature if they would
not be candidates for the Sheriff nOmi.
nation against Purnal j. Lynch, was It
at che same time agreed that hereafter
no man OF Irish nativity and of the
Catholic faith should aspire to an cleo
tive county office? These are pertinent
questions but as important as they are
pertinent. Another question follows
more important than all, and it is this.
Have the Irish voters of the Democrat
ic party been sold out by trickling
Democratic ring politicians? The party
that would embezzle 800, 900 belonging
to the fund to educate children, would
not stop to dicker and barter the Irish
vote away for the benefit of the ring.
Hereafter, let the following inscription
be emblazoned upon the outposts OF the
Democratic party" For the Office Of
Sheriff, Legislator and Levy Court
man, no Irishman, or Catholic, need
apply
Daily Republican., 1882-09-11

fully up to the standard of other Levy
Court tickets, but we cannot see that
on this account 1t is entitled to any
more favorable consideration. The
main busiuess of the Democratic Levy
Court has been to prevent a full assess
ment of the people, and thereby keep
the Democratic party in power. Such
things as building bridges and court
houses were mere incidentals subordi-
nate to the success of the Democracy.
There is no indication that the gentle
men nominated on Saturday If elected
will depart from the old established
rule. What the people should want is
full assessment and everybody to pay
his share in taxes to support the
county governments. This under Dem
ocratic rule has not been done in the
past and will not be done in the future
This under Republican rule is at least
promised to be done. Voters who want
to see reform ia the assessment and
collection OF taxes will of course vote
the Republican ticket. They should at
least test their sincerity, and if they
deceive them, then keep the Democrats
in power.