The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1882-12-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Most any man can grab gun by
the muzzle and pull it over fence or
out of boat, but the second or third
time will leave the gun without an owner.
Detroit Free Press.
When man has debt that he can
not pay short of three months, and the
creditor is importunate. the only thing
for him to do is to make note of it,
LosoeU Citizen.
The Englishman who addressed a
letter to 1.-The Picayune, Esq, New Or
leans" was not SO far out of the way.
There are in this country a good many
picayune esquires. Louisville Courier
Journal.
Said . railroad engineer to an Irish
man, whose ccw had been killed: "But
she didn't get out of the way when
rang the bell" s.Faith, thin" said
Pat, rye didn't shtop when she rang her
bell, naythur. '-Hotei Mail.
III say, when does this train leave?"
''What are You asking me for? Go to
the conductor; Pm the engineer" II
know you're the engineer; but you
might give civil answer" Eyes, but
I'm not a civil engineer" s
"A woman in Marietta, Ca, killed
large black snake, and observed that
s'two live mice scampered out of the
snakes mouth" The killing of the
snake did not at all alarm this brave
woman, but the appearance of the mice
caused her to faint dead away.
"A physician who is vestryman in a
country church was called upon to sug-
gest remedy for reducing the swell Of
the new organ, which had been pur-
chased, and which drowned the minis
ter's "Amen." The wretched man pre-
scribed arnica. He had always used that
for reducing organ swelling.
An Illinois woman recently discov-
cred that her husband proposed to elope
with the housemaid. Did she weep and
shed tears and kick up fuss? Not a
bit of it. She just wrote aletter purport-
ing to arrange for her elopement with a
neighbor, and let it fall into his hands.
And it about drove him wild. He fired
the servant girl out of the house, and sat
up all night with q shotgun to shoot the
villain who was after his wife, and has
been since then the most devoted hus-
band in Illinois.-Boston Post.
"A certain member Of Parliament,
who owned extensive estates, was spend
ing . few days at the residence of .
noble family. There were several inter-
esting and accomplished young ladies in
the family, to whom the honorable men,
Der showed every attention just as he
was about to take leave the nobleman's
wife proceeded to consult him upon .
matter which, she alleged, was causing
her no little distress. ut is reported"
said the Countess, THAT you are to
marry my daughter Lucy, and what
shall we do7 What shall we say about
it?'' TO-" responded the considerate
M. p. s'just say she refused mer'
z 1T was in . horse-car. She had boon
away for several months and the chill
dren had gone to the depot to meet her.
They chatted away merrily, while she
patted their little heads and smiled in
terestedly. Flows Maryr' she in
quired when they both stopped for
breath. 20, she's well. She's taking
her music lessons right along" "And
Harry3" Hes going to school; started
last week" "And papar' Hes well,
too. He's having bully time. He said
he didn't care il you didn't come back
for > year." The passengers roared.
Grabbing the children with both hands.
she rushed to the door with an pll-get-
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES expression on
her face. Heaven help him. Baltimore
Dov.