St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-05-12
SqUibS.

-. i, mon 10 ii'I lio, q"
~,
W men Dlsil''i'h near" 'i"' J"iipo
was gong TO emlgrate TO America he
eAclaliheu' EI li' bru'e
OleOmargarine, despite its high
sounding name, Is butter fraud after
al.-bostoh Com' bulletin.
"Ain't that lovely critter, john"
said Jerusha, as they stopped opposite
the leOpard's cage. "Waal, yes" said
John, ''but he's dretfully freckled, amt
he ?"
At q town meetinU LARGE taxpaver
rose ND to protest against building n
new school house in certain part of
the town. ..What's the GOOD of il Pn
asked he. .sThev are an ignorant set
down there. ANYWAY
If+ho as+ronon,o,., would on1,- ,,oI-o
February tbree months iong and tins
have Wav tbe first snring month there
would be a good deal less growing in
this latitude. The climate is all right
the trouble is with the almanac.
A new agony. and one that is in
every way admirable. is for n younr
lady TO entertain her gentleman caller
with few arias Oh that classical in
strument. the banjo. The true and
deep significance of this is. 1Don't 20
to the minstrels any more. | will be
your Minstrel" Did You ever see
loves dream set to music III more at
tractlVe shape New Haven Register.
John Williams, merchant of Rut-
ledge, Ga, sued desparadO. The de-
| fendant entered the store in a furious
passion; neiu 0u' 'ile summons III one
ll"hu, Iiu'oiieu a loiS itI,in hnllo III Ile o'n-
eI li'nu' anu ~, SaIG; W liiidns, nav Sou
sueu me i,il'nlS :, I hheW lilaC an
iieil'euia'e os Will nl''Ne mn sur
Vi d a,tT s'.'T' Leo IiI see nlS sPe''aoiJ' ;I
81. 81 Una. I'Ii leSa 4, ,ne P"Pel' ne s"iu
onI ei'o anu I'm
not Gl'I niI ''I Duy Ti'n an
al al %Oios' Io 5 i,,S 5"o", !, ..,1 h9 n'ni'
nlied tbe desnerodo. 81 ouess IN nav
! the bill.
...., A.. -. E..
Is So''inS ~" 'nC itC S1'Un ~, ;,
"la'oN '}ii US WIN ~ ''"'
'". VII '''eii 'i'''a, '''''i o''.
A suspicious addition AT 81. Cloud
traveller asked at what times the lit
tie steamers left. Every ten min
utes,' was the answer; Monsieur will
not have to wait more than ii quarter
OF an hour. lie lSaro'
A lawyer once said to countryman
in smOck frOck who was undergoing
his examination i'll the witness box,
"GOu are i'll IA smOck frock, how much
are you paid for lyingp "Less than you
are, unfortunately" was the reply, cor
You would be i'll smock frock too"
Preservation of forest trees Pat
was sauntering aIong tbe street when
he came up6n a workman cutting
down a decaved telegraph pole. Sur
veying the operation with look Of
mingled surprise and regret, he NUT
tered "Begorra, it's too bad. If it
kapes on This way there'll be no fOrrist
trees left in the country. = Brooklyn
| Eagle.
''What would you do" asked Il Tr-
bune reporter of Sixth-avenue car
conductor, who had scored the report
er's fare before asking for it, ''if pas
senger should fail to have his fare after
you had scored 1t up on the register :"
"ln them cases we seals the passenger
up III an envelop and hands hlm III at
the office" said the conductor, eyelng
the shop girl III the corner New YORK
Tribune.
~ should think that you would feel
badly about leaving this place" said
the laundress to the departing cook.
"1m not I'm glad to go. ! amt sor-
ry to leave any of you, except the dog.
Poor old Tiger, he's always washed the
plates for me-"
Customer-"Give me some fish ~
]