davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-03-23
Business Cards.
MISS L. &. JACKSON,
NTILLINEEY GOODS of all kinds, opcra
IVA Block, Bavcnna, ..
A. N. FARR.


7.
A TTOIENBE AE EAW- Counsel in
IA English and German. Onicc over Bel
dug * Armstrong's Drug store, Main street.
khvenna, Chic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

How IT FEELS TO BE HANaED.--Ye Jester
day several gentlemen were speaking of cap
ital punishment, when Mr.. J. L. McNeely,
one of the most prosperous farmers In Pulaski
county, remarked Gentlemen, SO far az
the punishment is concerned, hanging does
not amount to anything. was hung once
until was inssnsible, and the feeling could
scarcely be called pain" The bystanders
thought that hs was joking. ~ am in
earnest" he continued. &C. In 1866, just at
the close of the war, robbers came to my
house in ssa,ch of money. As precaution
against such visitors, had given two watches
and 5000 in gold to trusty eolored woman
to keep for me until times improved. was
lying in bed, crippled. Several men entered
the room, and, without saying anything, put a
rope around my neck and began to pull. |
told them that If they were going to hang me
to wait until got my crutch, so that could
walk to the hanging place. They took nae
out on the gallery, and, throwing the rope
over cross beam, asked me for my money.
told them that had none. They drew me
up. For moment l experienced . slight
choking sensation and then became insensi.
BILE. Whom became conscious, after being
taken down, was sitting on the steps. The
sensations while regaining consciousness were
very much like those experienced during a
nightmare. Little Rock Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15
Gle Sun.
NEW YORK, 1882

THE SUN for 1882 win make its fifteenth annual
luton under the present management, shining, as al
ways 70 ALL big and litte mean and gracious content
ed and unhappy, Republicans and Democrats, depraved
and vrtuous intelligent and obtuse. THE Suns light
is for mankind amp womankind of every sort; but Its
genial warmth is for the good, while 1t pours hot dis
fort the blistering backs of the persistently
THE SUN Of 1868 was a newspaper Of new kind, 1t
supe.auous words and phrases Of ancient rnslism-
1t undertook 70 report in fresh, succinct nnconyen-
tional way all the news of the world, emitting no
event Of human interest," and commenting upon aa rs
with the fearessness Of absolute independence The
of this experiment the success OF the SUN
II effected permanent change in the style of Ameri-
can newspapers Every important Journal established
in this country in the dozen years past has been mod
existing has been modified and betered by the force OF
THN un Of lssS will be the same outspoksn truth
telling, and interesting newspaper
By liberal use Of the means which an abundant
prosperity Affords we shall make 1t better than ever
We shall print all the news, putting 1t into readable
diona yardstick but BY its real Interest the people
Distance from Printing House Square Is not the first
consideration with The SUN Whenever anything hap
It happens in Brooklyn Or in Bokhara. -
In politics we have decided opinions: and are ac-
dersood We Jay what We think about men and events
That habit is the only secretef THE Suns political
THE WEEKLY sun gathers into eight pages the best
matter Of the daily issues An agricultural De-
liberal proportion of literary scientific. and domestic
intelligence complete The WEEKLY SUN, and make it
the best newspaper for the farmers household that was
who does not know and read and like The SUNDAY
SUN, each number Of which Is Goconda Of interesting
literature with the best poetry Of the day prose every
line worth reading news, humor-matter enough TO d u
terfaining than any book. big or littiea
flour idea Of what newspaper should be pieases you
send for THE Sun.
IN torn, aQ follOWs. =
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

"HE GETS DHRUNK. -" Have yez any
into piano wareroom on East Fourteenth
street, Cincinnati, the other day, displaying a
prosperous looking pocket-book ~ want
wan fur me dauter, who is comm home from
the semetary wild finished edication.'
What style of instrument do you prefer 9''
said the clerk, displaying an upright. "This
piano is the le-patent-quadruple string
ing board never-stay- n-tune and celluloid
keys"
"Och, niver happoth do I care about the
shtoile, SO long as it's strong case. Have
yez any wild iron cases?'
"No, ma am but all our cases are made
extra strong
GLOW much'll ye take fur that piannie 20
"Four hundred dollars. ma'am.'
+" Do yez sell on the slow-pay plan?'
Eyes, occasionally we sell to reliable pur.
chasers ON the installment plan. The in
month"
"Will yez throw in cover and sthule p
"Hardly fair to ask it, ma am but well
throw in those articles this time.'
SAN buk o. music?"
Yes, we won't be mean about it,
" Now, If yell insure the piannie, I'll take
it,
Well, really, ma'am, the purchaser gen
orally insures the instrument but to close
the bargain we'll insure this piano and take
all risks
Eye see, betwane me an YOU" after she
had made her mark on the necessary papers
and deposited the first installment receipt in
her bosom, "I'm glad to falc aisy about the
insurance, as want to get the better Of me
ole man, who TUX an oath that if brought q
piannie into the house, he'd smash 1t up wid
an ak. An faith he's the by to do 1t the first
tonne he gets dhrnnk I! y
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15
THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE PRIMER.


Is this the Great Eastern? No, it is Gin
cinnati girls shoe. See how easy it is to be
mistaken.
See the Boot. How large and shiny it is.
A man owns the Boot. Call on his daughter
some evening, and see what it is made for.
Here is Poet. He is going up the eleva-
tor. How happy he looks. Pretty soon he
seen the editor.
Here is Miss Lucy. How proud and fine
she looks in her new Sealskin Sacqae. 1t
cost $500. Lucy's Father will Fail next
week.
What have we here? 1t is Young Man
who wears Yellow Ulster and High Collar.
Does he smoke Cigarettes? Yes. Let us all
take kick at him.
This is Horse. He can go very fast The
man who is standing by the Horse looks sad.
He is broke. Do not go to horse races, Tom
my, Or you will be broke too.
What a fine looking Old Gentleman. Is he
rich? Yes, Ire is very rich. See how healthy
he looks. He will die of Enlargement of the
Heart. He lives in Chicago.
What is that in his hand 1t is Microscope
What does the Editor want of Microscope =?
He Is looking for his Salary.
Where is Tommy? He is playing base ball
in the lot. Can Tommy play we'll? Yes, in
deed, for he sometimes makes Home Run.
This is when his Fatherheaves in sight.
See the Elevator. 1t is not running. How
the Man swears. He Is an Editor. Do Ele-
vators ever run9 Oh, yes, when they are
first put in Building and before they are
paid for.
This is Young Lady. She is sitting at
the Piano and will soon begin to sing :" Empty
is the Cradle, Baby's Gone" Run away
quickly, children, and perhaps you will miss
some of it..
The Dog and the Cat are fighting. Is this
wrong? Yes, it is very wrong for the Dog
and Cat to fight, because they are not mar
ried. When you grow up, children, you will
see the point of this Lesson.
See that light overcoat. The Young Man
is wearing it in December. He has been saw
ing up his Money to buy Wheat and cannot
afford to get warm Coat. Some day, per-
haps, he will drop on himself.
What adarge Dog. He is going swiftly up
the street. So is Tin Can. 1t is Tied to
the Dogs tail. Will the Dog win the race?
should smile. 1t is wrong to tie a Can on a
Dogs tail If the Owner of the Dog catches
you.
SEQ the Man. He is holding on to the
Lamp Post. How the wind whistles and
blows. 1t is very cold. The Man is as full
as boiled owl. If he goes home will his
Wife greet him with kiss? No, but she
will search his clothes for loose change and
appear at the Matinee next Saturday. The
Man knows this and does not go home. He
prefers the society of Lamp Post to that of
his Wife. This man has great head.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15
A CLEANLINESS THAT MAY BE
SINFULNESS.

With due respect for st. Paul in pronounc-
ing cleanliness next to godliness, believe ex-
treme cleanliness, which requires the life SER
vice of any human being, to be not merely
next to sinfulness, but actually it, What l
do indorse, is sense of general wholesome
ness in and about a house. clean cookery,
clean dish-cloths, a clean table-cloth and
bright china and silver as essentials. That
there are mud tracks on the floor, fly specs on
the window panes, dust OH the top of picture
frames, finger marks on the door, or carpet
that has not had thorough sweeping for a
month-such things are of minor Importance
and ought to disturb the happiness of no
woman who desires to use her time for better
work. 1t is plain that a housskeeper must
put limit somewhere to her labors, or else
give herself up to hopeless drudgery. What
health and absolute comfort demand should
be carefully attended to; but beyond that the
work becomes, in large part, Improbable
drudgery. 1t makes nobody better happier
often the reverse-while the best that can
be said Of it is, that it gratifies in way the
small vanity of the woman who does it. She
likes to see things look clean So do all of
us /! And she is spurred on by some secret
impulse to clean AMI polish, and sweep and
brush, and scrub and scour, as if by such
work eternal life we're to be won. The force
of habit finally becomes such that she can't
lie down for a nap, and get a wink of sleep,
if she knows that the mantol. piece has not
been busted, or that there is bit of thread
or scrap of paper lying on the carpet.
doubt if any woman SO hampered with care
for small things can rise to a large and just
conception of life and understand in its true
sense that life is more than meat, and the
body more than raiment. believe in giving
some good food to tho mind every day of one's
life, though the kitchen floor has not been
scrubbed for fortnight, or the parlor win
dows rubbed for a month - Contribution IN
Rural Nslo Yorker.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

WHY He OBJEcTED.--A crude old farmer
living on the line Of one of the recent railroad
surveys, and who il the owner of barn Of
large dimensions, with huge swinging doors
on both sides, observed posse Of surveyors
busily engaged driving row of stakes through
his premises that extended up to the centre
Of his big barn. Sauntering leisurely toward
the trespassers, with an air savoring some
what of indignation, he addressed the leader
Of the gang as follows
"Layin eout another railroadg"
oSurveying for one, was the reply.
"Goin' threw my barn !"
"Don't see how we can avoid it,.
"Wall, now, mister" said the worthy
farmer, 81 kalkerlate I've got suInthin' tew
say abeout that. want you tew understan'
that I've got sumthin' else tew dew besides
runnin' eout tew open and shet them doors
every time train wants tew 60 threw.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

POLITE TO THE PoLIcEMAN.---"T
about bold bank burglaries," said a member
of the police force this morning, "the slickest
steal l ever heard of was the robbery of
bank down in Rhode Island six or seven years
ago. 1t was bitter cold night, and night
patrolman noticed a dim light in the bank
window, and going up to the door raped.
:" Is that you, patrolman, asked a voice
from within.
Yes" was the reply.
Step in and get seat said voice from
within. The patrolman stepped inside and
encountered darper little fellow wearing n
green shade over his eyes and pen behind
his ear.
"You are working late tonight" said the
patrolman.
Yes, said the dapper little fellow, "I've
been detained tonight Strengthening up ac-
counts.
The patrolman warmed himself at the roar
ing big fire that blazed on the hearth, and
went out again ON his beat. An hour after
the patrolman came that way, and still seeing
that light through the window, raped again.
g Is that you, patrolman )"
eyes"
"Come in and warm yourself"
The patrolman accepted the invitation.
"It'sa bowling cold night" said the man
with green shade over his eyes,
f" You bet" said the patrOlman. SO he
took another heat and returned to his beat.
He was rather surprised next day to learn
that his Preside friend the night before had
got away with some 500, 900 of the bank 8
funds. - Cleveland Leader.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15
MISCELLANY
WHEN WHAR- WHICH I


There was dozen of us waiting at the
station near Strasburg, Va, for the noon
train. Everyone had cut his dinner short to
catch the train, but the hour arrved--five--
ten-twenty minutes passed, and then every
body wondered what had happened. The
ticket agent was also the telegraph operator.
He was young fellow of about 20, ill-grained
and supercilious, but impatience overcame
the fear of him, and woman stepped to the
window and asked
Is the train late ?"
Gum he growled in reply.
How late is it :"
Gum !"
That finished her, and she resumed her
seat. Five minutes more slipped away, and
a very solemn-looking man, carrying a very
solemn-looking carpet-bag, advanced from the
corner and began:
"Train is late, isn't it9'
"Yes'
"How late is il? 20
Cum
"What is the cause of it?"
No answer.
He hung around for minute longer aud
then solemnly marched back to his seat, and
gave some one else chance to get bluffed.
After the fifth one had been turned away a
short, solid, grizzly headed man who had
been whiting single on the platform and
softly humming awe Won't go Home Till
Morning" entered the waiting room, looked
up at the clock, and then salintered to the
ticket window and queried
Whar's that train? !"
The young man was looking over some
freight bills, and did not raise his head.
"Whar's that train 20 repeated the whit
Ter In a louder voice.
The agent looked up for second, but let
his eyes fall without answer.
Whar' s--that--tra - shouted the
passenger as he brought his fist down on the
shelf.
No answer.
After waiting ten seconds, he walked out
doors, turned to the right and suddenly en-
tered the ticket office through the freight
house. Walking straight up to the agent he
reached over the table and seized him, pulled
him across like streak of lightning and as
he gave him shake and jammed him into a
corner he called:
"Whar in thunder and bazes is that ar
train y
:" It's coming ''gasped the agent.
When-whar-which ~
In about t-twenty minutes Z"
"What made 'er late?"
The engine broke down at Winchester. J"
"Then why in Crockett's name didn't you
say so In the first place Young man, take
squar look at me amt purity nor genteel
nor sanity, but I'm plumb up and down and
msan bizness When man asks me how
hogs ar selling I'm going to gin him a civil
answer if it cracks three ribs, and when l ask
you why that dog-goned old bullgine hasn' t
snorted in, you've got to hear me Or down
comes your trestle-works Do you catch
on :,
sY-yes-c ertainly-train's behind time
be here soon--of c-courss--yes--o course :"
Then the solemn man rose up, took his hat
in his hand and passed ii round for money,
and we felt like raising million dollars for
the solid man as token of our love and
reverence.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

OF all human frailties there are none SO base
as ingratitude, none so Infamous as to return
evil for good--to debase the purest friend
ship extended to us by lifelong friends.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15
Quick as a Wink!

Mr.. LOCKWOOD, while in
Europe, secured a new and
|valuableprocess for making
instantaneous Photographs,
and takes pictures of child
rem or adults as quick as a
wink ! II Union Square,
New York. Imperial Cards
1888 per dozen. I.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

Could we choose between mourning the ha-
tired or contempt of mankind, each would in
variably prefer the former. Mean qualities
alone inspire contempt. To be great often
means to be envied and hated.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

Our incomes are like our shoes If too
small they gall and pinch US but IL too large
they cause us to stumble and trip
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

Cultivate one good quality, and to the ban
quet board of the heart come trooping in all
the good angels Of our better nature.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

The man who strives to put something into
the world that shall make it better, not sim
ply seeking to get the most possible out of it,
never has his head bothered over the question
whether life is worth living. 1t is tho greedy
life, not the generous one, that has doubts on
the subject.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

operation and will not annoy neighboring
tenants. The patent air-spring regulates
effectively the movements of the press
and prevents raeking at fast speeds. The
mixing rollers are sufficient even for very
fine grades of work, and there is saving
over some other presses of several dollars
a year in the cost of rollers. The gripper
motion is noiseless, and is a saving Of
ones ears and nerves The ink fountain
is one of the very best, and the fly
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

There Is no greater fool than be who thinks
himself wise no one wiser than he who sus-
poets he is fool.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

is of superior construction. Last. but
not least, it is most beautiful piece of
machinery in design and finish, and is an
ornament to any printing Office
With this press our facilities for oil
kinds of job work are greatly enlarged,
and we can compete with city printers
both in prices and workmanship.
We shall be pleased to show the press
to all our friends.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15
$40 REW ARD

Unity DOLLARS WILL BE PAID FOR A CORN
10 or case of Rheumatism that NAPLES ELEC-
TRIO BALM will not II the directions are fol-
lowed One box OF the Balm will three times furth
than any Eminent. 1t is the Largest Box of 0int-
ment in the word-ony % cents per box. II Is one OF
the finest Preparations In the mark ct for Burns II Is
warranted draw the fire out In ten minutes Give it
trial and You will like It. For sale by all Medicine
Dealers You will always find good stock Of the Balm
shamalia, am F. L. Johnson Lambertville, N. J.
Sept, 81, 1881. -3m.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

After pretty thorough examination of
the various other presses ON the market,
we decidedly preferred the "Cottrell ;"
press and ordered it for "The Record ;"
office.
We prefer the press for the following
reasons: 1t does all the work Of gen
erai printing office as well Ito say the
least) as any press of its character 1t
will print one-third faster than similar
presses. 1t is almost noiseless in it's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-02-15

Impudencs Is not independence
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02

When the train going west over the
Detroit. Lansing and Northern Rail-
road had pulled out Of Howell the 9TH
er day, the conductor discovered that a
man who should have stopped of there
was still on boards
Didn't you hear the brakeman call
at your stationg' he asked.
"Yes. heard him say Howell, bat
how did I know ii was the Howell l
wanted to get offat? I've never trav-
eled over this road before"
"Well. we don't have but one How
ell on this line"
Then why didn't you come to me
like a man and say so! I'm from No
va Scotia, and how was TO know but
your country was fall OF Howells?'
Passengers should know where
they want to ges off," muttered the
conductor.
80 they should, sir. and il you had
kindly came to me aud notified ne that
this was the only Howell, and that this
was the Howell where my aunt lives, !
should not now be here. sir. | sha !
now decline to get off this train until l
have the advice Of her Maiesty's Con-
sal at Detroiti"
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02

To make it comprehensive to Eng
lish readers, this is the way fashionable
journals announced the recent marriage
at Windsor: 1.-The marriage OF His
Royal Highness Leopold George Dun
can Albert. Duke Of Albany. Earl OF
Clarence, Baron Asklow, Duke OF Sax
ony, Prince OF Sake Coburg and Gotha,
knight OF the Most Noble Order OF the
Garter. fourth son Of her Majesty
Queen Victoria and OF His Royal High
ness, the Prince Consort. Duke OF Sax
ony aud Prince Of SAKE -Coburg end Go
tia. with Her Serene Highness Prin'
cess Helen Frederies Augusta, fourth
daughter of His Serene Highness the
reigning Prince Of WIaldeok and Pyr'
mont, was celebratel in st. Georges
Chapel, Windsor, Thursday, April y.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02
CAPITAL RESTAURANT
BRIDGE STREET, wINNEMUccA, NEVADA,

Having newly. papered, painted and fur
nished, and fitted up in first-ciass style the
Capital Restaurant for the accommodation Of
the public, |. arm now ready to receive my
friends, and they maybe assured that my tablesT
will always be supplied with
Every DcKicacy and Substantial which
the Markets AGord.
Board by the day, week or month and every
attentienswill be given to ell.
L~O ID G. T. N g s..
Elegant and desirable sleeping Apartments
have been arranged and are now ready for
occupancy.
winnemucca February 90 lssz It
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02

news the growth always and surely restores
It's color. when faded or gray IL stimulates
the nutritiye organs to healthy activity, ana
preserves both the hair and its beauty. Thus
brashy. weak OF sickiy hair becomes glossy,
niable and strengthened; lost hair regrows
with lively expression; falling hair Is checked
and stablished; thin hair thlckens; and faded
or gray hairs resume theis original color. lbs
operation Is sure and harmless. IL cures dan
uruf, heals oil humors, and keeps the scalp
cool, clean and soft under which conditions
Diseases OF the scalp are impossible.
AS A DRESSING FOR LADIES' HAIR,
The visoR Is praised for its gtatefal and ssree-
aoie Perfume and valued for the soft luster
and richness OF tone IL imparts.
Prepared by DIR. j. @. .AxER CO.,
Lowell, Mass.
Practical and Analytical Chemists.
aA'u hy. all Druggists and Dealers 10 Medicine.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02

"HAcKMErAoK," lasting and ira
grant perfume. Price25 and 30 cents.
Sold at the Eagle Drug Store.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02

toR HEALTH. strength and vigor
drink Damiana Bitters.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02
EAGLR- DyRBG STORE.

4 JUST rsesivsd from The East, . oomplssse
sooek OF Humphsey's Homeopathic Medleisssa
soid s1.icfly at San -ESanciscs- -psises
/. fvasta. &c MeAIpxzzo-
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02
AYERS HAIR vIGOR.
Fer Restoring Gray HAIR 60 IT'S Natur'
~ Vitality and Ceier.

Advancing years,
sickness, care, DIS.
appointment, and
hereditary predis-
position, all turn
the hair gray, and
either Of them In.
clise IL TO sned
prenat1rely.
AYERS HAIR
vIooR, by long
'and extensive use,
has proven that IL
'sto?s the falling
Of the hair imae'
diately: often re-
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1882-06-02
THE SILVER.
puBIIsHED EVERY EVE
gxCEPTED)
j. j. III Ih l.
TERMS OF suBscl

one copy, one year, by mail.
one copy, six months, by mai
One copy, three months, bym
Delivered bY Carrier. 25 Z