The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-10-20

RATES or FREIGHT.


New York HerQld. Well, no. 1t doesn't
soothe the concert Of cats that furnish
the midnight mew-sic under our win
dow. 1t takes old shoes, backing.
brushes, ink bottles, and everything else
IN the category, to soothe them.
In boring well at Cloverdale, Cal,
the auger, at depth of thirty feet,
passed through a white pine log, and
SIX inches further struck a tree standing
on end, and had to cease operations.
1t was about time to stop. If they had
bored few feet deeper they might have
struck party Of campers-out playing
seven-up under the tree, and created a
panic
4 Philadelphia stole ton of coal
that had been dumped on the sidewalk.
When the man who owned the coal
came home he swept up the dust and
two or three Jumps left on the sidewalk,
toted it into the cellar and remarked:
I've stood the short-weight swindling
OF that coal dealer for some years, and
haven't complained. but by the feas
that bothered Cerberus, this is Just a
'iNN'' WV mum vi "a SllOl AdGt' III ubLC
dealing with him from this time out.
What Ais This Heart Of MineP" is
the heading Of story that is going the
rounds OF the papers We suppose he
saw his girl ont riding with another fell
low. There is nothing that makes the
heart get up and pound ribs and carom
on the other vital parts and Jump up
and down like a churn-dasher, and then
get tired and keep so still you think it
has stopped beating forever as to see
your girl out riding with another fel-
low, we are told.
A Denver newspaper man went fish.
ing; caught fish; eagle spied fish; eagle
swooped; fish and hook too we're swal-
lowed; eagle started; hook caught; man
pulled hard eagle stopped; hook broke;
eagle flew away This being the ex-
perience Of journalist and related by
the journalist himself, is entitled 10
respectful consideration. But it does
indeed seem like the Colorado version
of the story of the bad boy with bent
pins balLed with corn catching his
fathers pet chickens in the back yard.
An amusing and yet embarrassing
mistake happened few nights ago to
prominent Philadelphia gentleman
whose near-sightedness is his greatest
afiiiction. He attended a fashionable
entertainment, paid his respects to the
hostess and then approached an indi-
yidual whose face struck him as famil-
lar Grasping the gentleman by the
hand, the near-sighted man said: Eek
cuse me, sir; your face is familiar,
but can't place you, somehow. am
sure I've seen you before, sir" Every
likely, sir; | am one of Augustine's
walters, was the deferential reply.
II tell you what it is. fellahs,"
yawned Adolphus. I'm making an
awful commotion among the girls, Only
wanted a little fun, yer know, but
deuced if they arn't all falling in love
with me- Pom honor, | believe I'm
getting into hot water, yer know" "Do
you?" said one of the girls who CHANGED
to oyerhear "well, perhaps it will have
the same effect upon you as it does upon
the lobster" II say, Martha ex-
claimed Adolphus, turning about,
you re ueuceuly sharp, yer Know, Dut
blamed if | know what you're driving
at now" ooh, nothing replied Mar
tina, only Holsters, you know, are green
till they get into hot water
Mr., Burgess, OF Hartwell, Ohio. had
boy. Mr.. Zerbe, Of the same place,
had similar boy. Mr.. Burgess boy
played with young Zerbe, and one day
painted one of the wheels of old Zerbe's
buggy a bright red The rest of the
buggy was black. Old Zerbe got mad
and painted young Burgess bright red.
The paint filled the lads ears, matted
his hair and closed his pores, He near
~ died Old Burgess tried to admins
ter physical castigation TO the perpe-
traitor of the outrage, but old Zerbe
proved to be the better man and old
Burgess came out second best. Tho
neighbors took an interest in the affair
! and were going to paint old Zerbe with
tar and adorn him with feathers, but
they didn't They want old Burgess to
shoot him and marianne old BurppSs