The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-04-28
Puts, Calls, and Straddles.
Mira Brsszy, Puzzled and Curious, Demands q,
Exclamation

| MrA Breezy, Puzzled ana curious, demands an
| Explanation
II believe YOU have gambled in Wall
street, Mr.. Breezy" said Mrs. Breezy.
helping her lord and MASTER to cup of
coffee.
II have speculatcd little in stocks.
Hear, if that's what you mean." said Mr..
Breezy. unfolding his napkin.
"Same thing" said Mrs. Breezy; ..you
can call il speculation; know it's gam
bling. How do they do it anyway I
read about puts and calls and straddlcs.
and buy three's. but ] can never make
any head or tail out of il. suppose it's
some horrid slang you men have invent
ed"
"Well. no, dear" said Mr.. Breezy,
helping his better twO-thirds to a chop.
ut isn't exactly slang. You see, for
instance, l buy \ hundred short
"You do what?' cried Mrs. Breezy.
81 buy hundred Short" repeated
Mr.. Breezy.
"Well, what in the name of common
sense do you mean by that?" asked Mrs.
Breezy. ..Why don't you talk United
States-I mean English? You buy a
hundred short, and what has short got
| to do with it,"
If You will give met. Twill ex-
plain. my DEAR" said NJ. Breezy. You
see if man is long on sock he is"
Long on stock?" sad Mrs. Breezy.
"Now what are you getting to? First
you are short and then you are long.
What does II man want to get on stock
for, anyway?'
My dear. if you will allow me-"
ITO be sure. Go ahead. Tell me
something about Wall street, but don't
talk nonsense" said Mr.. Breezy.
"Well, my dear, we will suppose that
have put on Wabash. and"
"There yOu 90 again." said Mrs.
Breezy. Twill YOU or will you not talk
in Il language can understand? What
is Wabash. anyway? J. suppose it is
another slang term?'
mo, that's stock, said Mr.. Breezy;
.you see. dear. if have call on Wa
bash or Northwestern
If you call ON the Northwest" cried
Mrs. Breezy; "are you really going mad,
Mr.. Breezy Well, l might expect as
much from the life you have led recently.
What with clubs and politics, you are
going HcdulOIS W SOLlc tcItiuic late.
MY dear. it will be impossible for
me to explain anything unless you will
give me five minutes to do it in," said
Mr.. Breezy. with unusual warmth
Now, at the beginning of this week
Omaha preferred started at 1861 and
| 1866"
Omaha preferred?" asked Mrs.
Breezy. "Why is it preferred? Who
preferred it? What has Omaha got to
do with New York and Wall street any.
way, and what do you mean by 1063p"
II shall have to give it up" said Mr..
Breezy in despairing voice.
mo, Mr.. Breezy. have started out
to know something about Wall street,
and won't allow you to get out of it in
that way" said Mrs. Breezy, setting her
| self more firmly in her chair. '.Now,
Mr.. Breezy, you will please drop slang
and come to something l can understand.
For instance, what is bull bear?'
"Ho, ha, ha-oh!' laughed Mr.. Breezy.
What do you mean V laughing al
me, Mr.. Breezy? I'm sure ~
"Ho, no, ha-Ohr' and Mr.. Breezy fairly
doubled up with laughter.
"Mr. Breezy, you haven't the manners
of a savage cried Mrs. Breezy, push
ing back her hair, sand / don't believe
you know any more about Wall street
than two weeks old baby and Mrs.
Breezy made Hazael time to the kitchen
to take revenge upon the cook.-Brook-
Ian Eagle.