The news., 1882-10-24

The average hotel waiter is perfect
prodigy at cards-he takes everything
with his tray.
Heartily Recommended.
Don't condemn good thing because
you have been deceived By worthless nos
trum. Parker's Ginger Tonic has cured
many in this section of nervous disorders.
and we recommend it heartily to such suf-
ferers.-Neos.
Patrick, we're you minor when you
landed in America?" asked the natural
ization officer. "No, your honor, was
bricklayer."
Mothers Should Know 1t.
Fretful babies cannot held disturbing
everybody, and mothers should know how
soothing Parker's Tonic is. 1t stops
babies pains, makes them healthy, re-
iieves their own anxiety, and is safe to
use.-sJournol.
Mrs. Ramsbotham was asked if she
liked yachting, and she replied that she
preferred terra-cotta. She probably meant
terra-frma.
Gray hairs often cause annoyance, which
Parkers Hair Balsam prevents by restor-
ing the youthful color.
The Turk and the man who steps on a
banana skin have much in common. For
instance, they both sit down without call
ing for chair.
Lppincott's Cough Syrup and Dyspep-
sia Tonic tell their own story. Sold by
dealers generally. Tonic 100 per bottle,
syrup rs and so cents. Office and labor
atory, Mount Holly, N. ].
J. P. LrPPNcoTT, Proprietor.
Telegraph blue" is new color. 1t
is the shade of mans face when he gets
dispatch from his broker asking for
more margin.
marvel Of the age for all nerve diseases.
All fits stopped free. Send to 931, Arch
st., Philadelphia, Pa.
"Do you buy your music by the sheetr
inquired young lady of deacon's
daugter. "Oh, no." she replied 81 al
ways wait until Sunday, and get it by the
choir"
Fl Teacher to small boy "What does the
proverb say about those who live in glass
houses ~ Small boy "Pull down the
blinds"
L Deem 1t My Duty to Tell
what Dr. Swayne's Compound syrup OF Wild
Cherry has done for me. had violent
cough, night sweats, sore throat. great weak
ness, with severe attacks ofhem0rrhage, gave
up all hopes of recovery. am cured, a
rs' ' EDWARD H. HANSON.
Engineer Of Sweenys Pottery,
1884 Ridge Aveune, Philanelphia,
Over twenty-five years have elapsed and |
/ am still Q hearty man.
Philadelphia manufactured $40, 100000 |
worth Of umbrellas last year. You would |
not have thought that amount of property |
was stolen outside of Congress in year
would you
Elegant Toilet Preparations.
Hair dressing, and restorative is found in |
London Hair Color RestOrer." 1t seldom |
fails to restore gray or faded hair 10 its orig
inal youthful color and beauty. Falling |
hair Is checked by its use. and 1t produces |
growth Of beautiful young hair soft; glossy,
cleaniy and effcctlve hair restorer now be.
fore the American people.
A. A. Gibson, Barry town, Duchess county, |
N.Y., writes Dr; Swayns p 4 Son, Son, % Philadel-
eight dollars; please send me one dozen bot 1
ties of the "L0ndon hair Color Restorer."
1t has stopped my hair from falling, and re- L
stored 1t to Its natural color. 1t has proven |
satisfactory in every respect The london
Hair Color Restorer" can be obtained at all |
the leading druggists at rs cents bottle.
A young man who undertook to trace
his family back two centuries, struck a
penitentiary before he had exhausted one
century, and concluded TO stop He
feared he would collide with gallows
before reaching the objective point.
Skin Diseases.
..sSwayne's Ointment Cures the most in
.'Swaynes Ointment veterate cases skin
..swayne's Ointmentnl ter. salt rheum.
.sSwayne's Ointment" }scald head BARRIERS |
.sSwayne's Ointment itch. sores, all crus-
ssel sslg san srupons Sa
'sSwaynes Ointment land that distressing |
,'Swayne's Ointment complaint, itching |
Psss sc.a the eoFe opy e
ssSWayne's Ointment nate or long stand
.fswayne's Ointment Ting. Ask for 1t and
take no other. It cures where all else fails.
Sold by all prominent druggists.
He lisped, and his name was Mr.. Carr.
And, one of his family being i'll in the
night, he ran to the drug store and rang
the bell. A head appeared at the third
story window, and voice demanded,
"Who's thereY" aMis-ta Carr" was the
reply, "I can't help that; take the next
oney' and bang went the window.
Piles TIC ing Piles
like Precipitation, intense itching most at
night, seems as If pin worms were crawling |
in or about the rectum, The more you
scratch the worse they itcn; very distressing.
Swayne Ointment Is the most effective rem
edy extant for this tormenting complaint.
Gives rest at night without the desire to
scratch. Also has no equal in quickly eradi-
eating tetter, itch, salt rheum, erysipelas
BARRIERS Itch, pimples. all scaly, crusty, itchy
skin eruptions. Here is the proof: Certain
tee" Or. Cotton. Woodstock, Vt; troubled
with itching piles for over twenty years, 1t
cured me completely L. s. Messer Enfield,
three boxes. 125. By DR.. swayne 4 Son.
Philadelphia, Pa. Sold by all druggists.
A man never loses anything by being
polite. A Buffalo gentleman, waiting for
train, saw woman slip upon some
thing and nearly fall. He hurried to
assist her and helped her to rise, and as
he did SO she dropped valise which
proved TO be his own, which he had left |
in the depot few minutes before, and
which she was attempting to steal
To C0TssssasptjVes.
The advertiser having been permanently |
cured OF that dread disease, Consumption, |
by O single remedy, is anxious TO MAKE |
Known tn his fellow sufferers the means of |