Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-11-30
SPICE AND AllSPICE.

A CLOSE CARR1AeE--The laundress
Com. Bulletin.
Docs are more handy than men. They
can go without their pants in winter.
"WHY do dogs have feas?" young
naturalist asks us. "Becsuse, my dear
boy, the dogs are the biggest"
"WHEN will this car goP" asked a
gentleman, the other evening. "As soon
as it has cargo, was the prompt reply.
The inhabitants of the North Pole
country will be sociable enough when
once the ice is broken. ~. O. Picnyune.
EVERY cloud has silver lining"
said Respondent diner, as he saw the
dusky walters pocket the quarters of
the guests.
YoUNG housewife: "Wbat miserable
little eggs again! You must really tell
them, Jane, to let the hens set on them
little longer, or we must change our
grocer"
A KENTUCKY exchange asks: ''Wbat
is the great lever that shoves the news
paper forward?" Well, in the case of
most country journals, it is 80 year in
advance.
MANY London ladies' crop their hair
short. 1t is painfully evident that the
married men in the city will soon lose
their grip.-NeW York Commercial Ad-
rertiser.
THERE are thirty-two different colors
TO sand, and when people speak of sandy
compilations they stand thirty-one
chances out of thirty-two Of making
mistake. detroit FfG. Press.
A GEORGIA woman wasn't hurt bit
in the railroad collision, but she wants
S3, 900 for the manner in which she was
obliged to turn somersault'in the pres
ence Of eighteen horrid men. Detroit
Free Press.
LIGHTNING struck contribution plate
in western church just as the deacon
was passing it around. "This is the
first time anything has struck the plate
in three MONTHS said the deacon
thoughtfully.
Mrs. LANGrRY thinks of going to
New Zealand. She can do that now in
safety, but there was a time when she
could not have gone to New Zealand
without getting into stew. - Phtta-
deiphia Ne,os.
T. B. O. T. ID. A. F. T. T. S. o. T.
l.. T. merely stands for the Toronto
Branch of the Dominion Alliance for
the Total Suppression of the Liquor
Traffic. 1t is temperance society with
an Incorporate title.
Born eends Oh life is shrouded in
mystery. A man don't know when he's
born or when he dies. Oars room
h. hat fxrn or
to get in a mighty heap of debilment.-
ArkdnSaw 7recciCr.
A SMALL boy of four summers was
riding on hobby horse with q compan-
ion. He was seated rather uncomforta-
bly, on the horses neck. After reflect
i've pause he said, 81 think if one OF us
gets off can ride better.
The governor of Michigan, who was
AS the returns at hand so far show
the only man on the republican state
ticket defeated, is obliged by custom to
issue Thanksgiving proclamation.
There are things besides millstones which
grind. d.-DetroH Free Press.
AN Indianapolis colored man was cha!-
lenged at the polls on account of his
youth, but insisted that he was twenty
one years old. "How do you know ?"
inquired the challenger. well, I've
had the seven-year itch three times,
was the cheerful reply. He was allowed
to vote without scratching.
"HALLo!" CALCULATED a guardian to
his pretty niece, as he entered the par
lor and saw her in the arms of a swain,
who has just popped the question and
sealed it with a kiss, whats the time
of day now?" 81 should think it was
half-past twelve" was the cool reply of
the blushing damsel; "you see we are
almost one" ...
PICKS patent proverbs: The easiest
things are always the most difficult. 1t
is easier to find publisher Tor book OF
poems than to wear your hat back wards
for three minutes. Grabbing at fortune
is very much like grabbing at strange
cat the cat doesn't always seem to be
where she was when you started with
your grabbing.
"'TIs a poor rule that does not work
both ways. Yesterday / was at din
ner party, when q glass of wine was
spilled on the table. Henry Meier put
some salt ON it and no one said q word.
Subsequently the salt dish was capsized
and l poured a glass OF wine on 1t,
whereupon l came near being thrown out
of the house."
A New JERSEY Sunday school super
intendent was addressing an audience
the other evening, taking for his sub
ject: Sabbath breaking" Becoming
warmed up with excitement he ex-
claimed: "Why, friends, there are
some BOYS in this town who would desc
crate the Sabbath every day in the week,
if they got chance
A MAN who never has money enough
on hand to pay his bills bought pair of
boots on credit. How much are they p
"Five dollars il you buys on credit, as
usual, but ten dollars if you pays cash
down." How is that?" "Vell, you
see" said the simple minded shoemaker,
"veu sells on credit l knows it is a
dead loss. so makes the loss 80 schmall
as possible"
"JoHN," said the cashiers wife, drop
ping into the bank in the midst Of .
shopping trip, "you forgot to leave me
that money this morning." "What
name? p asked the cashier, without look
ing up. "Name! name!" exclaimed the
lady, I" l am your wife," "No doubt,
no doubt" anspered the cashier mechan-
ically, and going on with his writing;
"but You will have to bring some one to
identity you"
ABEAR broke into the house OF Ne
vada man the other night. He was
away, and his wife thought it was he
\ coming home drunk. She didn't stop to
light a lamp, but began operations.
When the bear finally got away he didn't
stop running till he had travelled eleven
miles into the heart OF the mountains,
and he was such sight that other bears
wouldn't associate With him.-Hoyt's
| HaIi,lcindfiOll