The Portland daily press., 1882-06-02
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Can you fad a case of Brights Disease of
the Kidneys, Diabetes, Urinary or Liver
Complaints that is durable, that Hop Bitters
has not or cannot cure? Ask your neighbors
if they can.
An Indiana woman applied for adivorce be-
cause her husband killed mad dog which was
about to bite good-looking school-ma am
Detroit Free Press.
*Both Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and Blood Purifier are prepared at 233
and 235 Western Avenue, Lynn, Mass. Price
of either, 81. Six bottles for S. Sent by mail
in the form of pills, or lozenges, on receipt of
price, 81 per bottle for either. Mrs. Pinkham
freely answers all letters of inquiry. Enclose
&c. stamp. Send for pamphlet. Mention this
paper.
In Vain, Alasl In Vain. Miss Spinks fish
ing, and expecting the obvious reply)-"Ah
Mr.. Poodlesby, they say that beauty was the
rule among the Greeks, while with us il is the
exception" Poodlesby (thinking of Poodlesby)
-"Ah- really now, defy any one to look
round this room and say that ugliness is Moth
exception" Miss s. Casting again)-''I hope
you do not consider me one of the exceptions,
Mr.. Poodlesby?" P. (absently)-"Ah, excep-
tions prove the rule, you know; prove the rule
prove the rule."-Harvard Lampoon.
Mrs. T, of White. street, Boston,
Mass, says: "I never could have believed be-
fore tried them that Healy's Tonic Pills
would SO soon remove chronic disease. They
are wonderful"
CEPHAL1NE comes within the reach of ALL 1t
is the best Nerve Food known.
These Oakland girls are getting to be too in
nocent for anything. fWhere have you been
all day?" Numbered stern parent to his
daughter, as she slid into the house one night
after dinner. "What do you mean by such
conduct as those?" why, pa, I have only
ooh dear, no, sir. George took his dog Rang
er along as chaperon." Papa drops dead in
an apoplectic ft.-Waif.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate In Liver and
Kidney Troubles.
DR.. O. G. Cilley, Boston, says: ~ have
used it very extensively, and with the most
remarkable success in dyspepsia and in all
cases where there is arrangement of the liver
and kidneys"
The betting on the number of the hymn as
put on the new chapel blackboard, is a favorite
diversion with the men in the back seats. The
last one was above par, 125. We are waiting
for ticket to be put in. This is true progress.
Harvard Lampoon.
AM nh ai1 uh inf with
properties will say that Glenn's Sulphur Soap
a reliable remedy for local skin diseases.
That New Yorker who hasn't closed his eyes
in sleep for the last thirteen years has deter
mined to hire out on farm this Summer. In
side of two weeks his employer will have to
haul him out Of bed by the feet to get his eyes
open.--Detroit Free Press.
Wheat Bitters will make you bold, but not
rash; patient, but not insensible; constant, but
not obstinate; cheerful, but not light.
In an editors room in Fleet street, London,
a skull is nailed up against one of the desks.
Underneath in large letters is written: "This
is Smith, who did not like an article about
himself and was rash enough to say so"-In-
dependent.
There are fierce brain storms that shatter as
mans organization, his nerves shrek for re-
lief, and neuralgia banishes rest. At such
time, If the miserable sufferer would use Ben
sons Celery and Chamomile Pills, he would
find perfect relief.
eyes, I've got holrid cold,'' said Mrs.
Jenkinson: "Pve dosed and dosed, and be-
lieve I've taken no less than thirty-nine arti-
ces, and I begin to feel like an Episcopalian''
Boston. Transcript
Composed of the best known tonics. iron and
cinchona, with well known aromatics, is
Browns Iron Bitters 1t cures indigestion,
and all kindred troubles.
Porter" said passenger from Albany, on
the New York Central Railroad, as he stepped
into his sleeping berth, "call me at Lyons
sure'' "All right, sch" Late next morning
he called him. "Only twenty minutes from
Buffalo, sah." "Why didn't you call me at
Lyons?" "Lyons? Fore goodness; OATS it!
You did say Lyons, for suah, boss, an done
fought ober de whole circus, an I hope to die
if I could ketch onto any animal higher dan
Buffalo, I'll remember de cage next time,
boss. "-American Railway Journal.
Grandmother
used to say: "Boys, if your blood is out of
order try Burdock tea" and then they had to
dig the Burdock and boil it down in kettles,
making nasty, smelling decoction; now you
get all the curative properties put up in pala-
table form in BURDocK BLOOD BIrTERs.
Price $100, trial size 10 cents.
Dr. Brewster recently obtained boy of pure
American parentage from the Boston Orphan
Asylum and began with him course of un-
brella training. The boy was made to keep an
umbrella in his hand every moment during his
waking hours, and to sleep with 1t tied tightly
to bis wrist. Within six months the boy de-
veloped love of Basis pale ale, tendency to
speak about his bath-tub to every one whom
he met, and marked difficulty in the use of
Latte n, ood ot fba If a bob ad