The news., 1882-12-26

be no monkey business, but l didn't
promise nothing about cats. Well,
sir, you'd a died. The committee
was in the library, by the back stairs,
and me and my chum got the cat
boxes all together, at the top of the
stairs, and we took them all out and
put them in clothes basket, and
Just as the minister was speaking,
and telling what great good was
done by oyster sociables, in bringing
the young people together and tax
ing their minds from the wickedness
of the world and turning their
thoughts into different channels, one
Of the old tom cats in the basket
gave 'purmeow' that sounded like
| the vail of a lost soul or q challenge
to battle. | told my chum We
could't hold the bread board over
the clothes-basket much longer, when
two or three cats began to yowl, and
the minister stopped talking and pa
told ma to open the stair door and
tell the hired girl to see what was
the matter up there. She thought
our cat had got shut up in the storm
door, and she opened the stair door,
to tell the hired girl, and then |
pushed the clothes-basket, cats and
all, down the back stairs. Well, sir,
| suppose no committee for an oyster
supper was ever more astonished. |
heard ma fall over willow rocking
chair, and say scat, and | heard pa
say, well I'm damed,' and girl
that sings in the choir say. 'Heavins,
| am stabbed then my chum and
me ran to the front of the house and
come down the front stairs looking
as innocent as could be, and we went
in the library, and 1 was just going
to tell pa if there was any errands
he wanted run then, when a yellow
cat without any tail was walking
over the minister, and pa was throw
ing hassock at two cats that were
clawing each other under the piano,
and ma was trying to get her frizzes
back on her head and the choir girl
was standing on the lounge with her
dress pulled up trying to scare cats
with her striped stocking, and the
minister was holding up his hands,
and | guess he was asking blessing
ON the cats, and my chum opened
the front door and all the cats went
out. Pa and ma looked at me, and
| said it wasn't me, and the minister
wanted to know how so much cat
hair got on my coat and vest, and l
said a cat caught me in the hall and
kicked me, and ma cried, and pa
said that boy beats hell, and the
minister said l would be all right if
| had been properly brought up,
and then ma was mad, and the COM
mittee broke up. Well, to tell the
honest truth pa basted me, and
yanked me around until | had to
have my arm in sling, but what's
the use of making such fuss about
a few cats ? Ma said she never
wanted to have any company again,
cause | spoiled everything. But l
got even with pa for basting me, this
morning, and | dassent 90 home.
You see, ma has got great big
bath sponge and, filled it with hot
water, and took the feather cushion
out of the chair pa sits in at the ta-
BILE, and put the sponge in its place,
and covered it over with the cushion
cover, and when we all got set down
to the table pa came in and sat down
on it to ask a blessing. He started
in by closing his eyes and placing
his hands up in front of him like a
letter V, and then he began to ask
that the food we were about to par
take Of be blessed, and then he was
going on to ask that all of us be
made to see the error of our WAYS,
when he began to hitch around, and
he opened one eye and | looked as
pious as boy can look when he
knows the pancakes are getting cold
and pa kind of sighed and said,
Amen sort of snappish, and he got
up and told ma he didn't feel well.
and she would have to take his place
and pass around the sassige and po-
tatoes, and he looked kind Of scarf
and went out with his hand on his
pistol pocket, as though he would
like to shoot, and ma she got up and
went around and sat in pas chair
The sponge didn't hold more than
half pail full ofwater, and l didn't
want to play no joke ON ma, cause
the cats broke her up, but she sal
down, and was just going to help me
when she wrung the bell and called
the hired girl, and said she felt a,