Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-09-16
WIT AND WISDOM.

ways ulcuuluR.
BETTER to be despised for too anxious
apprehensIons than ruined by too con-
fident a security.
TRUST him little who praises all, him
less who censures all, and him least who
is Indifferent about all.-Lavater.
CoNcEIT is to nature what paint is to
beauty it is not only needless. but i'm
pairs what it would improve. Pope.
To SMILE at the jest which plants
thorn in another's breast, is to become
principal in the mischief. f.-Sheridan.
isabella NO, Won are wrong. 1t is
not called dog cart simply because a
puppy drives it.-Boston Transcript.
IT Is not birth. nor
Rank. nor state;
lis git up and git, that
Makes men great
A GOOD word is an easy obligation
but not to speak i'll requires only our
silence, which cost us nothing.
son.
BEFORE the wedding day she was
dear and he was her treasure; but sfter-
ward she became dearer and he treas
urer.
LAMENTATIoN is the only musician
that always, like q screech owl, alights
and sits on the roof of an angry man,
Plutarch.
The New Orleans Picdytne has come
to the conclusion that breaking the
news gently cannot be done by pulling
down the telegraph wires.
THE covetous person lives as il the
world were made altogether for him and
not for the world to take in everything
and part with nothing. South.
"JoHN, what is that peculiar smell?"
asked mans wife as he was trying to
steal IN bed without waking her, about
a. m. "That is the incense we use in
the lodge room. my dear it exales-it
exales-" eyes, I know now," she
interrupted ''I recognize the odor-
XX ales. p Detroit Free Press.
A BOY paid his first visit to one of the
public schools the other day as a scholar,
and as he came home at night his mother
inquired: "Well, Henry, how do you
like going to school?'' "Bully p he
replied, in an excited voice. "I saw
four boys licked, one girl get her ears
pulled, and big scholar burned his ell
bow on tho stove. don't want to miss
day."
THIS of DIR. Jepbson, distinguished
physician of bennington, fifty years
ago, is another amusing anecdote
The doctor was noted for being brusque
and unceremonious \ great London
lady, high and mighty leader of soci-
ETY., who was taken suddenly i'll, sent
for him. Jephson was so off-hand with
her grace that she turned on him
angrily and asked, "Do you know to
whom You are speaking?" "Oh, yes,
replied DR.. Jephson, "to an old woman
with the stomach-ache.
Miss r. had nose which was per-
ceptibly retr0usSe, and when she went
on visit to Johnny's father one day
the boy observed it. After taking in
the situation fully, he said {: "Papa,
you told me to wait until something
would turn up, and should, have We
locipede. There's Miss r. s nose. Now
give me the velocipede." What he got
may have been called a velocipede,
because it went so fast ; but it looked
more like strap flying through the air
in the far corner of the woodshed.
COURAGE" Suffering sisters" ex-
claimed the speaker, energetically shak-
ing the hair pins from her head in her
excitement, "women will never obtain
their rights until they display more
courage Let me say to you, in the
words of famous French orator, 'Cour-
age courage courage AT this
stage of the proceedings somebody
threw box of caterpillars upon the
platform, and the meeting broke up IN
great terror and confusion. .-BrOokty
Eagle.
A RICH manufacturer having provided
wedding feast, invited thereto his
chief mechanician, a man more familiar
with science than society, named Smith.
Late in the evening one OF the young
men of the family, finding Smith roam
ing about the supper table, pressed him
to partake of the various dishes, which
were declined on account of their unfa-
miliar look: but upon being assured
that he would certainly Ike the cro-
oaettes. he consented to try the strange
Wand The first taste surprised hlm
into his early dialect, and he calculated,
"Gosh, it's hash p
A GENTLEMAN waited upon Jerrold
one morning to enlist his sympathies in
behalf of a mutual friend who was in
want of round sum of money. But
this mutual friend had already sent his
hat about his literary brethren on more
than one occasion. Mr.. KS bat was
becoming an institution, and his
friends were grieved at the indelicacy
of the proceeding. On this occasion
the bearer of the hat was received by
Jerrold with evident dissatisfaction.
" Well," said he. "how much does Y.
want this time % "Why, just four
and two naughts will, think, put him
straight" the bearer replied" Well
prt me down for one OF the naughts,
said Jerrold."