The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-12-07
Young Fools That Marry,

The sparkers are looked upon nv
parents generally as a nuisance
7 and often they are right. Nine.
= tenths of the sparkling is done by
= boys who have not got their growth.
: and they look so green that it is
laughable for the old folks to lool,
at them. They haven't generally
a second shirt, and they are no
more qualified to get married than
steer to preach. And yet marry
ing is about the first thing they
think of. A green boy without a
dollar, present or prospective.
sparkling a girl regularly, and talk
ing about marrying, is a spectacle
for gods and men. He should be
reasoned with, and if he will not
quit it till he is able to support
wife, and to know whom he loves.
and the difference between love and
passion, he should be quarantined
or put in a convent erected on pur-
pose for such cases. Nine-tenths of
the unhappy marriages are the re-
suit of green human calves being
allowed to run at large in the so
ciety pastures without any yol1es on
them. They marry and have chill
dren before they do mustaches;
they are fathers OF twins before
they are proprietors of two pairs
of pants, and the little girls they
marry are old women before they
are twenty years old. Occasionally
one OF these gosling marriages turns
out all right, but is clear case of
luck. If there was law against
young galoots sparkling and marry
ing before they have cut their
teeth, we suppose the little cusses
would evade it in some way, but
there ought to he a sentiment
against it. 1t is time enough for
these bantams to think of finding
pullet when they have raised mon
ey enough by their own labor to
buy bundle of laths to build hen
house. But they see q girl who
looks cunning and they are afraid
there is not going to be girls
enough to go around, and they be
gin to get in their work real spry;
and before they are aware of the
sanctity Of the marriage relation
they are hitched for life, and be
fore they own n cook stove or a bed
stead, they have to get up in the
night and 90 after the doctor, so
frightened that they run themselves
out Of breath and abuse the doctor
because he doesn't run too; and
when the doctor gets there there is
not enough linen in the house to
wrap up doll baby.
1t is about this time that young
man learns that he is a colossal fool,
and as he flies around to heat water
and bring in the bath tub, and goes
whooping after his mother or her
mother, he turns pale around the
gills, his hair turns red in n single
night, and he calls high heaven TO
witness that if he lives till morning,
which he has doubts about, he will
turn over a new leaf and never
marry again till he is older. And
in the morning the green looking
father is around before drug
store is open, with no collar on,
his hair sticking stright out all
over, his eyes blood-shot and his
frame nervous, waiting for the
clerk to open the door so that he
can get some saffron 10 make tea Of
Less than a year ago he thought
he was the greatest man that there
ever was anywhere, but as he sits
there in the house that morning
with his wedding coat rusty and
shiny, and his pants frayed at the
bottom, aud his coat patched nc the
elbow, and the nurse puts in his
arms a roll Of flannel with baby
hid in it, he holds it as he would n
banana, and as he looks at his girl
on the bed, he thinks that there is
not provisions enough in the house
to feed canary, lump comes into
his throat, and he says to himself
that ifhe had it to do over he would
leave that little girl at home to grow
up with her mother, and he would
would wait until he had six dollars
to buy flannel and ten dollars to
nav the doctor.