Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-29

The coming corn is serious movemeN
on foot.
Strapping fellows-Barbers and school
masters.
''You are as full of airs as a music box"
is what young man said to girl who
refused to let him see her home. "That
may be-" was the reply, ''but l don't go
with a crank
The Colorado style of marriage bene-
diction is as follows: ''Them as this court
has jined together let no man put asun-
der, but suffer little children to come unto
them, so help you God"
When reprimanded by his employer for
absenting himself from the office for two
entire days, Fogg very calmly replied that
he believed in the office seeking the man
and not the man seeking the office.
eff ever marry, shant seek for mind;
mind is too cold. I'd choose an emotion
| al woman ''Don't do it," eagerly ex-
claimed his bald-headed friend. ''Don't
do it, I implore you. My wife is an
| emotional woman"
''I never pretend to know thing that
| l do not" remarked Brown. 'When
don't know a thing, say at once, Il don't
| know" IA very proper course" said
Fogg, ''but how monotonous your con-
versation must be, Brown"
Brown-''So old Tightfist is very sick?
Have they given up all hope?" Fogg-
eyes, all hope" Brown-''Very sad,
isn't it?" Fogg-"Very sad. They did
have strong hopes until yesterday, but
now they fear he is going to get we'll"
The Scranton Republican relates that as
a Wilkesbarre man took his seat in the
BARRIERS chair he asked the barber if he
had the same razor he had used two days
the patient man said ssThen give me
chloroform."
At a high-school examination the teach
er asked the son of an old ice dealer how
many ounces in a pound. And the boy
said it depended on the extent Of the crop
the length of the summer and the heat oi
the weather, varying from five and a hall
to eleven and three-fourths, but never
reaching as high as sixteen.
As young man, late at night, was sit
ting by his window for chance to hurl {
missile at the cats that worried him, {
neighbor passing by said to him: 81 sup
pose you have an object in view sitting
up there so late?" eyes," was the reply
as he held up bootjack: ''and have al
object in hand ready for the other object.
''See here,' said a fault-fnding HUSBAND
to his wife, ''we must have things arrang
just where everything is kept" ''Witl
all my heart" she sweetly answered, .'an(
let US begin with your late hours, my love
l should dearly like to know where they
are kept" He lets things run on as usual
In the city of Halifax there dwelt ;
lawyer, crafty, subtle and cute as a fox
An Indian of the Miami tribe, name(
Simon, owed him some money. The poo
red man brought the money to his credi
tor, and waited, expecting the lawyer tt
write receipt. ''What are you waitin:
for?" said the lawyer. s'Receipt," salt
the Indian. ga receipt, exclaimed tn
lawyer, receipt. What do you know
about a receipt" The Indian looked a
him a moment, and then said: ssSpos
maybe die; Tine go to heben; Tine fin
gate locked; me see the 'Postle Peter; h
say, Simon, what do you want?' M
want to get in He say, You pay Mr.. J
dot money! What me do? l hab no re
ceipt; hab to hunt all over hell to fin
your
RpIIIIANr RESI-ITS There can not b