National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-18
"1hcard you tell that same story years ago at

"1 heard you tell that same story years ago at
Long Branch"
"No, dd your" he replied. "well remember
it TOO. Colonel Jim Casey was present at the
time, and poor old Price McGrath and old Zeb
himself Aud got into trouble by It. You see,
there was id newspaper writer prcsent-s
green reporter for q New York paper. lie asked
me II the story was true. told him II was, and
that the two men alluded to in It were present
then and there l pointed to Zeb Ward as
proof, and then added that the other man. the real
hero of the tale, was bald headed-had worn the
hair on his head by carrying halters In his hat
while In bis early youth he was Engaged in the
horse stealing business. Just then, as luck would
have II, Jim Casey raised his hat TO wipe the per-
spiration from his classic brow, md disclosed n
head ms bare Of hair as Ben Buffers That was
quite enough for that blessed scrbbler he went
OF and wrote up long account to show that
Grants brother.in-law was an eN-horse-thoG /
offered, Of course and so did Ward, to dlsprove
Cosey's connection with the tale' but, sir, par
tisan press wouldn't give us hearing, You know
how that is."
AS Colonel wntersmith Is an inexhaustible per-
SON. sir, the instruction and amusement Of his
moral romancing might have been continued for
somo time If certain nameless busy body had not
just then made dive, so to speak, for the under
written, and, having hauled me into a corner,
whispered conndenually: "Well, we've got proof
now that Garfield wrote
THE MoREY LETTER;
you won't like to hear IT, but its true" he added,
raising his voice with the evident intention Of at
tmcting attention. eyes, sir, your idol is broken
smashed, crumbling to pieces. | repeat, sir, that
Garfield wrote what you oil called the Morey let
ter"
"Thats all boshw exclaimed an outsider.
"Ilunt the rascal down |" calculated another
who is that blankcd fool anyhow 2' inquired
a third
The proof Of the pudding is in the eating" Mr.
Busybody went on, land what are you all eating
now, eh2 Haven't you got n fine pill TO swallow
in that Garfield Chase letter about ROsccrans
And don't you see that q man who'd use such du-
plicity TO old Rosey would alsob guilty ofwrting
the Morey letter aud then denying that he had
written it2 Now, then, there's the proof, sr-con-
frmation strong rs new Kentucky sour mash. and
that's the strongest thing know anything about.
Of course you Republicans and Garfield men can't
see 1t; but We all can, and that's quite enough"
II was n relief nll around when this interloper
walt2ed Off to get some copGrm1i'GYi G1 lis Ken
tucky synonym. The I've all" who conceded
with him in the force Of proof embraced in hi;
wonderful discovery had possibly ynssembled within
til sour.mash precincts below stairs in the Ebbitt
where one John Helmus does duty, and were wait
ing for congenial spirit, one sufficiently endowed
with worldly goods, as well ns BARR wisdom
to put the strength Of said confirmation 10 a prac
! teal test.
To return now to Trueman Smiths ugly Cabinet
Speaking of Dick scurry, of Texas, n good story 4
| handed down from his lips, now sealed in death
of carly days in the Lone Star State. II Is in EFF
feet that he started of campaigning for one Of hi
elections to Congress, and, among other things HI
carried in his saddle bags, were some
BISCUITS MADE OF WHEAT FLOUR.
| In those days the country was sparsely settled
and wheat biscuits were almost an unknown thing
among the poorer classes of country people. Stop
ping for the night at log hut the locality of which
he precisely described TO have been "oxactly
thirty miles beyond the knowledge of the
Holy Ghost" and the occupants ofwhich were a
pioneer cattle.grazcr with his wife and dozen
children, large and small, he happened to give to
some Of the latter n couple of the aforesaid bis
cults just before he went to bed. They didn't eat
them at once, as he had expected they would; but
| next morning lie was somewhat surprised to find
them burning the biscuit on the grass plat in front
of the house by laying red.hot Goals on them.
"What're you doing that for?" he asked.
"Tryin to make 'em come out of their shells,
| was the answer.
! "Ther shells?' exclaimed scurry.
"Why yes Be.ent they land terrapins?r
| And this happened, mind you, in that favored
land from whence came Senator Flanagan, o
fragrant memory and varicgated neckties and
forsooth, Tom ochiltree's native heath. Flanna.
gan, 1t will be remembered was q leading member
| of the Senate Committee on Education and Labor
who, having laboriously written the compound
word fence-ral" as it ishere written, proved his
education by crossing it out Of his manuscript and
rewriting 1t fense-rale.'
"There" said he, " I've got 1t right at last"
| BUENO BURRO.