The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-02-28
FLEA BITES.


Twas Sunday eve, and the small boy stood
With his ear to the key-hole pressed,
And he saw his sister Bessy's head
On Absalom Thompson's vest.
Then he ran to his parent stern and told
| And the parent stern replied:
There amt no harm in . vest slide out,
| But the lad refused to slide.
There Amt no harm i'm n vest know"
| And his eyes flashed bright that minute
'But isn't it dangerous, dad" he asked,
! "When AbsalOm ThOmpson's i'm it,"
last night drew from off my sleeve
little golden hair."-Ex.
Lucky for you your wife didn't find il
before you did.
Women, wake up.-Ex.
Yes, and dammit-turn out and make q
fire, and put the tea kettle on.
1t is sad household when the hen
crows and the cock is mute.-Ex
That household is in Warrensburg. Saw
the old fellow the other day, and as he
spoke he looked behind to see If the "hen''
was near by in order that he might ask
"By your permission, madam"
A Boston girl was heard to saw in a
street car. on her way home from the Sol
diers' Bazaar, 81 think he looked like per-
feet raving angel in his uniform. He was
awful heavenly.
How much a man is like old shoes,
For instance both q sole NAV lose:
Both have been tanned, both are made
tight
BY cobblers. Both get left and right,
Both need mate to be complete,
And both are made to 60 on feet
They both need healing oft are sold,
And both in time turn all to mould
With shoes the last is first with men
The first shall be the last and when
The shoes wear ont, they're mended new /;
When men wear out, they're men dead,
too.
They both are trod upon and both
Bear loads oil sin upon the earth,
Both have their ties and both incline
To age, and are used up i'm time.
And now which would you choose,
To be a man or be his shoes?
Il very much object to your Seam
dinavian conduct" said Mrs. Shuttle to
her son. "Here you are smoking import
ant cigars and filtering away your time,
when you should be rendering your
energetics to make yourself useless" The
young man thought he was doing just that
and refused to be turned from the error of
his ways.
A Detroit girl has sued man for
81 1000 for hugging her twice.-Ex.
That was rather steep, but perhaps if he
had Rugged her thousand times the DAM
ages would have been just the same A
Missourian never would have let up with
"twice."
al have divided my subject" began
the parsOn, 4into two heads" Two heads
with but asingle thought" whispered Fogg
to Mrs. F., and then he closed his eyes
for his usual nap.-Ex.
Ignorance never settles question.
Eek.
No; but occasionally it is considerable
bliss.
A New York piano manufacturing
company has failed.-Ex.
They were probably unable to meet their
outstanding notes.
A young and pretty school teacher,
with clear complexion, bright, black eyes
and an abundance of dark hair, was arrest
ed at Rome, ~ v, for whipping a boy
nineteen wears old, as big as a man, and
wearing his pants in his boOts."-Ex.
The only wonder is that such a vigorous
and right-minded young lady LETT any
pants on the "boy" either to "wear in his
boots" or anywhere else.
A tidy young lady, short Of stature,
married a man six feet four inches tall. She
explained to her friends that he would be
so handy to have in the house; he could
light the chandelier in the parlor and hang
pictures without getting on the chairs and
soiling them with his boots-Exchange.
He might have been handy enough fol-
the purposes mentioned, but the question
is, could he sleep in trundle bed.
DIT HGI DIT Elt pIT,EQI