Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-11-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

notice that when the Lord made man he
made two ears but only one tongue.
WHAT becomes OF old pianos? 2 asks
| tl4 Yonkers GQsotte. Then you have
never trSS yg1Ieul c+ss'@s4esses9boat - or VISITED
an orphan asylum, eh
ENGLISH OFFICERS say that every ees'Saa
der in order to become p decent shot
should every year fire 1000 rounds
with his rifle.
GEORGE WASHINGTON never told lie,
but then it is matter of fact that
George Washington never made much
money out of politics.
WHEN Phocion was asked if he we're
engaged in meditation he replied, eyes;
[ am considering whether cannot
shorten what have to say to the Athe-
mans"
SAID the rich and quiet-loviag citl-
zen ''If a man bores me and don't
like him and l want him to keep away
from me, don't snub him, / just lend
MIN S5."
AT ELDoRAD), KAN, a witness said
that he would be compelled to tell
where he bought the whisky, for two or
three of the jury were with him and he
did not dare to lie about it.
A TEN o'clock glass OF hot whisky is
called night-cap because it goes TO the
head. A few more Of the same will go
to the legs. Then we suppose you'd
call it foot-pad.
"GRANDPA, the sun is brighter in
summer than in winter, is it not ?"
eyes, and it's warmer aud enjoys better
health" "Why does 1t enjoy better
health ~ "Because it gets up earlier"
"How FAR is it to Manayunk ?" asked
a weary man, who was going there
afoot. "Seven miles," was the reply.
"Whom do you wish to see thereT
"Faith, it's meself I'd like to see there,
was the retort.
A BosroN PAPER advises little Boston
boys not to kill sweet little red squir-
rels as they spring from limb to limb
and tree to tree. It says that as
mouse and rat killer one squirrel Is
worth dozen cats.
In AT LEAST some of the public schools
of New York when a boy misbehaves
himself in going down stairs he IS set
back in his studies, so that for two or
three months his education suffers be-
cause for moment he was boylsh.
ONE OF Pullnan's patents on sleeping
car berths expires on November |. IL
is understood that Mr.. Pullman will not
seek a renewal of the patent, but devote
his energies to securing an interest with
the porters. Detroit Free Press.
A LITTLE boy was sent to shop for
some eggs. Before reaching home he
dropped them. In answer to his mother,
who asked, "Did you break any ?" he
replied, So No, I didn't break any but
the shells came off from some OF them"
THE signal service is now ready to an
nounce the approach of cyclones over
six hours in advance. This will give
the farmer who hears of it time to go
and sell his stock and tools and other
property to the man who doesn { know
what's coming.-BostOn Post.
A LOGICAL conclusion-Little Bob
"Tom, why 10 you call mamma mater?
What's mater mean ?" Tom" Latin
for mother, you know" Little Bob
"Ohl l thought it was because she
had to see about getting husbands for
Flo and Edie that she was mater.
An exchange acknowledges the re-
ceipt of two books called "Matrimony
and 'Heaps of Money" from Harper Il
Brothers. The publishers were very
thoughtful. When a man INDUCES IN
s'Matrimony he feels the need OF
"Heaps of Money" = NoTisto'cn
Herald.
Corn husking continues in the rural
districts, but Wheatville, Genesee
County, remains the only place heard
from, up to the hour of going to press,
where bashful young. man was found
with nine red ears in his pocket and who
was ducked in a mill pond by a bevy OF
indignant girls.
"WELL," remarked young M. D.,
lust from college, 81 suppose the next
thing will be to hunt for good location,
and then wait for something to do. like
Patience on a monument" "Yes,"
said bystander, "and it won't be long
after you do begin before the monuments
will be on the patients.
'I SAY, fellows" exclaimed Fogg,
''have you heard the news? Brown
ana MS WlI6 nave sopdEhtct. NO4
'Is that so?" Chow did it come
about?" "I always thought it would
come to that" ''Guess it'll be better
for both of 'em." These were few OF
of the expressions that fell from the lips
of the boys as they eagerly crowded
around Fogg. eyes" said Fogg, "the
Browns have separated. | saw Brown
kiss Mrs. Brown goodbye at the depot
lust now. He said he would be back to-
morrow" The crowd retired in dis
gust. The boys were, of course. ter
ribly disappointed. = Boston Tran
script.
DOT sCHMALL LEETLE BABY.
Drue MS leev. most efery day
laugh me wild to saw der way
Ny schmall young baby drie to play
Dot funny leetle baby.
When look of dem leetle toes,
Und see dot funny leetle nose,
Und hear der way dot rooster crows,
shmile like vas crazy.
Sometimes dere comes leetie schqual,
Dots when der windy Wind will crawl.
Right in his leete stchomack schmail,
Dots too bad for der baby.
Dot makes him sing at night so schveet,
Und gorry barrie he must cad,
IJnd must chump sphry on my feet
To help dot leetle baby.
lie bulls my nose und kicks my hair,
Und graws me oier everywhere,