The Tombstone epitaph., 1882-02-20
The Beauties of the Law Explained
 by a Victim.

l DJ o NACtAhAs
 "I hate to live in new country" said Jones, "where there is no law"
 "Yer bet yer," chimed in Thomp- son. clay is the only thing that keeps us out of everlasting chaos."
 "Yes, indeed," said legal gentle man present. "It is the bulwark of the poor mans liberty, the shield which the strong arm of justice throws over the weak, the solace and
 balsam of the unfortunate and wronged, the"
 "Oh, stoy'er," remarked a man
 with one eye. "I won't have it that way. Law is the boss invention for rascals of all grades. Give me a country where there is no law, and'I can take care of myself every time. Now, for instance, when I lived in Ohio 1 got dose of law that I will never forget. I was in partnership with a man named Butler, aud one morning we found our cashier miss- ing with $3,000. He had dragged the safe and put out. Well, start ed after him and caught him in Chi cago, where he was splurging around on the money. I got him arrested and there was an examination. Well, all the facts were brought out and the defense moved that the case be dismissed, as the prosecution did not make out case in the name of the firm, and that if there was firm the copartnership had not been shown by any evidence before the court. To my astonishment, the court sad the plea was O. K. and dismissed the case. Before I.could realize what was up the thief had walked off. We'll, followed him to St. Louis, and there 1 tackled hlm agair. l sent for my partner and we made complete case, going for him in the name of the commonwealth and Smith, Butler & Go. We'll, the law yer for the defense claimed that the money being taken from a private drawer in the safe was my money exclusively, and that my partner had nothing to do with it; that the case should be prosecuted by me individ- ually, and not by the firm. The old 'bloke' who sat on the bench wiped his spectacles, grunted round while and dismissed the case. Away goes the man again. Then I got another hitch on him and tried to convict him of theft, but the court held that he should have been charged with embezzlement. Some years after l tackled him again, and they let him go. Statutes of limitation, you see. Well, concluded to give it up, and I did.
 "But about four years afterwards 1 was down in Colorado, and a man pointed to another and said: "That fellow has just made hundred thou. sand in mining swindle. I looked, and it was my old cashier. I followed him to the hotel and nailed him m his room with the money. Now, I says, Billy, do you recognize your old boss?' and of course he did. Says l, Bill, I want that s3000 you stole from me with interest, and all legal and travelling expenses 'Ah, you do?' says he; didn't the courts decide that sD-n the courts,' says I, putin a six-shooter foot long under his nose. sThis is the kind of legal document that I'm travelin' on now. This is the complaint, war rant, indictment, judge, jury, verdict and sentence sll combined, and the firm of Colt & Co.,, New Haven, are my attorneys Tn his case. When they speak they talk straight to the. point of yeur mug, you bloody lar, ceny thief. This jury of six, of which l am the foreman, is liable to be discharged at any moment. No technicality or statute of limitations here, and stay of proceedings won't . last over four seconds. I want $10,- 900 to square my bill, or I'll blow your blasted brains out Well, he passed over the money right away, and said he hoped there'd be no hard feelings between us. Now, there's some Colorado law for you, and it's the kind for me! Eh, boys?" and the crowd with one accord concurred in the chaa nness and efffcienov of the