Sacramento daily record-union., 1882-12-23
riously hurt. The passengers were badly
shsken up, but no bones were broken.

broken rail- near ConDersv1ile tnreW ous Cal
OF passenger train on the Fort Wayne, Gin
cinnati and Louisville road off the track into
White Water Canal. Roadmastef A. >.
Stewart was severely injured. John Cole
scott was also hurt, and Miss Georgia flern-
ing. daughter of the ex-S State Treasurer, was
very severely, perhaps fatally, injured.
Several other passengers were signify nurs.
MOUNT VERNON (O.) December 22j.-An
excursion train, with 300 passengers, was
ditched to-day by an open switch In the YARDS
of the Cleveland, Mt. Vernon and Columbus
road. A number Of passengers were badly
bruised, but none seriously injured.
Mark Twain ON woman's Dress.
NEW YoRK, December 22d.-The seven
teen.h annual dinner of the New England
Society took place at Delmonico's this even
ing. Mark Twain responded to the tosst of
"Woman." He said: 1.-THE toast includes
the sex universally. It is to woman compre.
hensively, wheresover she may be found.
Let US consider her ways. First comes the
matter of dress. This is most important
confederation, and must be disposed of
before We can inteiigentiy proceed
to examine the profounder depths Of them.
For a text, let US takeithe dress of the antip.
o5al types-the savage woman of Centrsl
Africa and the cultivated daughter of our
high modern civiliz alton. Among the Fans
IA great negro triDe woman when dressed for
home. or to so cut shopping or calling,
doesn't wear anything OF all but just her
complexion. [Lsuehter.l That is all. 1t is
her entire outht. Il is the Highest costume
in the world, but is made OF the darkest
material. It has often been mistaken for
mourning. L is the trimmest, and neatest,
aud grscefulest costume that is now in fash.
ion. 1t wears well, il is fast color, and
doesn't show dirt. You don't have to send
it down town to wash, and have some of it
come back scorched with Aatiron, and some
Of it with the buttons ironed oil, and some OF
ii petrified with starch, and some Of it chewed
by the calf. and some of it rotted with
acids, and sops Of is exchanged for other
costumes-:h;Hgs that hsvea's any virtue
but hol;nsas-and ten-twelfths of the pieces
overcha-ge.i for, and the rest of the dozen
"mis.aii." And it always fits. 1t is the
perfect n of ti., and it is the handiest dress
il the wh, l. realm of fashion. Il is always
ready. always doae up. Ween you call on
Fan lady aad ssrd up your card. the gisl
never say "Piease take a sess. Madame is
dressing She'll be down in three quarters Of
an tour." No. Madame is always dressed,
always ready to receive, and before you can
get the door mat before your eyes she is in
your midst. Then, again, the Fan ladies
do no. go to caurch to see what each osher
has got op, and they don't go back home and
describe and slarder it. Such is the dark
child of savsgery as to everyday toilet, and
thus curicusly enough she finds the point
of contact with tie fair daughter OF
civiiiz ,tion and nigh fashion, who often
has nothing TO WEAR" and thus these
vi iely-ssparased types OF the sex meet upon
common ground. Yes, such is the Fan
woman as she appears in her unostentatious,
every day toilet; but on state occasions
she is more dressy. At banquet she wears
bracelets. At lecture che wears earrings
and belt. at bsll she wears stockings,
and with tr1e feminine fondness for display
SIZE wears them on her arms. AT funeral
she wears a Jacket of tar and ashes. At
wedding, the bride who can afford it puts
On partaloons. Thus the dark child of
| ssvsgery and the fair daughter of civiliza-
ton inset once more upon COM
mon ground, and these two touches
of nature make their whole world kin. Now,
We will consider the dress OF our other type,
A largo part of the daughter OF civilization Is
her dress, IS it should be. Some civilized
women would lose half their charm without
dress. and some would lose all Of it. The
daughter of modern civil 'zation. dressed at
her utmns. best, is a marvel of exquisite and
beautiful art anG expense. All tie lands, sli
the climes and all the arts are laid under
tribute to furnish her. Her linen is from
Belfast; ker robe is from Paris her lace Is
from Venice, or Spain. or France; her
ern Africa her fuIs are from the remotest
home of the iceberg and the aurora; her fan
is from Japan her diamonds are from Brszii;
her bracelets are from California I; her pearls
are from Ceylon her canoes are from Rome.
She has gems and trinkets from Pompeli, and
others that graced comely Egyptian forms
| that have been dust and ashes now tor forty
centuries. Her watch is from Geneva; her
card.case is from China her hair is from
I don't know. Where her hair is from l
never could find out. That il, her other
hair-her Sunday hair. 1 don't mean
the hair she goes to bed with.
Why, Won ought to know the hair l mean.
| It's that thing which she calls switch, and
which resembles switch as much as it re.
sembles brickbat, or shotgun, or any other
thiag which you correct people With. It's
| that tbipp which she twists ard then coils
rsund aad rouud her head, bee-h hive fashion,
and then tucks the end in under the hive and
| harpoous il with ha;r-pin. And that re-
| miods me of triis. Any time you want to
vou can gIarcs around the carpet of Pull
man car and 90 and pick up taiI-pin. But
not 10 save your life csn you get auy woman
ia that CIR 10 ack lowledge that heii-
pin. Nog isn't thst strange! But
IFS true, The woman who had never
swerved from o cas:-iron veracity and tldeiity
il her whole life will, when confronted with
this corceal her ownership of that hairpin.
will deny that hsirpin before hundred
WITNESSES. | have stupidity got into more
trouble and more hot water trying to hunt
up the owner Of hairpia in Pullman car
than by any other indiscretion ct my lfe.
Well, you see what the daughter of civiliza-
ton is when she is dressed, and ycu have eesn
wha. the daughter Of savagery is when size
isn't. Such is woman as to cos
tune. 1 come now to consider her
in her higher and pobler aspects-as
mother, wife, widow, grass. widow, mother
in-law, hired girl, telegraph operator, teie-
| phone helloer, book agent. wet curse. step
| mother. boss, professional fat woman, pro-
fessional double. headed woman, professional
beauty, and so forth snd so on. We will
simply discuss these few, aud let the rest Of
| the sex tarry in Jericho till we come again.
| First in the list of right and first
| in our gratitude comes woman who
Why, dear me-, I've been talking three
quarters of an hour. beg thousand par.
dons, but you see yourselves that hsd
large contract. l have accomplished some
thing anyway. I have introduced my sub
| ject, and if l had till the next Forefathers
| Day / am satisfied that 1 could discuss it as
adequately as the noble theme deserves but
| as the matter stands new, let us finish as We
began. and say without jesting, but with all
sincerity, "Woman-God bless her"
Congressional.
WASHINGTON, December 22d.-Considera-
ton of the civil service bill consumed the
greater part of the day in the Senate. Several
amendments were adopted and rejected, and
| without final action the Senate adjourned.
In the House @ resolution was adopted that
after recess the House meet daily at IL o'clock.
A motion was carried that the House adjourn
tomorrow until Wednesday. The army bill
was then considered in Committee of the
Whole. A vote upon an amendment showed
no quorum, and the committee rose and re-
ported the absentees to the House. Twenty
eight leaves Of absence were granted, making
a total of 131 membars absent on leave. The
House then adjourned, the understanding
being that no business would be transacted
tomorrow.
Destruction by Fire.
BIRMINGHAM (Coun.), December 221.-
Bassett's paper Dox factory and Hallecks
hardware factory were burned this morning.
Loss, 500 600.
BEowSsvILLE( Tenn. J, December % THE
Brownsville cotton factory was burned to.
day. Loss, $4,000; insurance, $50. 020.
Orar 100 emploYes are thrown Ont of work