Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-07-01
Muscle in the Ministry.

AT the graduating exercises of
Baptist seminary at Chicago reverend
/ gentleman delivered an address to the
graduates about the duty they owed to
themselves in working up muscle, as
well as cultivating brains. He carried
oat the idea that there were too many
weak sisters among the graduates, and
! that the cause of Christ needed men
able to stand up and knock down other
men, in order to do any good in the
way religion is running nowadays.
That is what we have claimed for years,
and we are glad the sensible preachers
are getting on to the racket. The
trouble is that too often the shrimps in
family are sent to theological SEM
mary. If a man has four boys, three
OF whom are muscular, hearty, good
natured, warm hearted, thoroughbreds,
inclined to have fun with the world,
and one boy who is pale and sickly
and dried up, and who mopes around
as though ne had worms, and eats pie
when the other boys are hosting in
pork and beans, and who goes to bed
when it is dark under the table, and
dreams OF land that is fairer than
this, and has night sweats, while the
other boys slide out Of the back way
and SO cooning melons, the father will
at once put up job to make that hui
man dried prune minister, and the
other boys will have TO stub along as
farmers, merchants, lawyers, and such
wicked things. The shrimp goes to
college and prays without ceasing the
first year, hazes without praying the
/ second year, and " mashes girls with
out praying or hazng the third year,
and when he joins the ministry the
chances are that he will have a pious
cast Of countenance and college devil
try enough concealed about his person
to make it mighty spry around fe-
male seminary or pound sociable.
Il lille the other boys have settled down
10 business and cooning for melons
and other contraband goods, and are
! raising families and making money and
having quiet fun, the pie bitter. who
never had generous impulse or nat.
urai dose Of perSplration on his brow,
VIII be " called " from one place 10
another, Investigated for conduct pre-
judicial TO good square religion, white
washed by committees because his
mind IS weak, and he winds up by 60
ing around pcddling book or deliver
ing tracts on the evils of drinking and
smoking, and never amounts 10 con-
/ uncu;al, and finally lie goes and boards
with his brothers, whose children quit
! playing and romping and look solemn
when . Uncle Hennery comes upon
them unawarcs. The pulpit don't want
any o. these Eastwood pumpkin seeds
j 70 point sinners to the golden streets
OF lie New Jerusalem. 1t wants hearty,
! rolching, gool-natuFed chaps who will
lead .inncts, and say "Gowle on, boys"
instead OF pointing The way as though
saying " You fellows 60 and see what
j kind Of lay out it is, and if it is all
/ right | viii come if am well enough.
and the climate agrees with me-" PEG
pie do not want to see a minister who
acts as though his religion made him
sick. hey 10 not want any Of it in
theirs if it is going 10 make them look
as il they had lost every friend they
ever had and wanted 10 lean on bar
rel and have good cry. yhey don't
want Il tit is going o make them 60 back
on IT, paor and unfortunate, and kick the
/ i isn and eycrlastiugly damn nine-tentls OF
/ tie human r'ce, wae happen 10 he healthy
liz snrcrs I'D rather 90 around y block
and catch On TO religion that makes its
ri-is',ls Ole =. God : uoblemen, WHO has
heat and nm APPETITE, aud who hss charity
I for al, 10 matter how low they may be- aud
he can praise God with du eighteen carat
! smile on hist face, aul wh1 wonli knock down
butte who woulG abuse a poor person,
ins;e-d Of tIrLine h;s back and going
home and ,ak,ay dose ol MEDICINE for
dyspepsia. a minister who shows b. his
action dat his rel on agrees wi,h him, and
whose clothes I'll him, ami who ctn shake
hands ill man aud his baud Viii feel
like VICE il sc;;d Ct "a n.:.cictcl, and who
can be s. ped Gu Tile ,hou.ier 3! 4. worldly
Inaa wthoat breaking hrinl to pieces is
tie one who is going 10 10 tae work i1r Tie
Master, and earn his living. IA.ge ought
10 bc an extmini"s isoaei =; ali the thoo-
I logic Schools - * e.nIlc candid AXIS, and
Wien II finds i !cHAs tc.iJH chat IN, got !,
numler eleven heart 1at eoJd-siL, i stom-
ach, and Ausc.,s oi sroa, rJoe him il, 10
matter II lie is righj flesh from horse race,
or il Thee i 4 t..u.ii ul uls e. lis ti.r ms II