Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-01-07
Lo Assenishes His stomach.

One OF the peculiarities Of the latest United
States style of feeding the noble redman is the
fact that he is given government rations. and
at the same time appropriations are made
which are supposed to maintain him. Some
times wild Indian, who doesn't know much
about groceries and how to prepare them for
food, comes in and draws his regular soldier
rations in this way. For instance, up in the
Sitting Bull country. a while ago, an Indian
came IN from the warpath who had never seen
any Of the pale face style of food and drew his
rations. He made light meal of unground
coffee the first day. and as he over-ate and the
coffee sweled in him. he had difficulty in but
toning his pants around the pain he had on
hand He felt very unhappy for day or two.
but laid it to the fact that he hadn't exercised
much, and the consequent e7n,a and indigestion
resulting therefrom. As soon as he succeeded
in getting the interior department auieted
down little he tackled his ration Of candles.
These he decided to parboil, in order to avoid
trouble from Indigestion. The dish was
not so much Of a gltterng success as he
had anticipated, and as he renorsely picked the
candle wicking out Of his teeth with q tent pin
ne made some remarks that grated harsilIy on
the aesthetic ears of those who stood near. He
then tried a meal of yeast powder with vinegar
He ate the yeast powder, and then took pint
OF extremely potent vinegar to wash it down
At first there was a feeling of SUNRISE in his
reinorse- can of yeast powder in an Indians
midst doesn't seem to he prepared for a pint
OF vinegar, and the result of such an unfortunate
circumstance is not gratifying. Every little
while a look ofpain would come over the features
of the noble child of the forest and then he
would jump about II feet and try to kick cloud
out of the sky. Then he would sit down and
think over his past life. 1t took about q week
for him to get back to where he dared to get up
another meal for himself Then he fricasseed q
couple of pounds Of laundry soap and ate that
Soap is all right for external purposes
or for treating pair of soiled socks
but it does not aSsmate with the
1t as relish do not seem to think that it will
ever arrive at any degree of prominence as an
article of diet. That is why this untutored
child of nature swore. He had never received
the benefits of early training in profanity and
his language, therefore, was disconnected and
rambling. but when we consider that he, was
ignorant of our language, and that every little
with both hands and dig great holes in the earth
with his toes, the remarks didn't seem alto
gether out of place or irrelevant. When q GAL
Ion or so OF agtated baking powder and vim
egar is singing its little song in the innermOst
recesses OF an Indian, and this has been fol-
lowed by treatment Of laundry soap, the stu
dent of human nature can find wide field for
observation in that locality. The earnest and
occupied look, the troubled expression of the
countenance. followed by the quick nervous
twitchng of the muscles of the face, and then
the swelling up and bursting of the suspender
button, the deep drawn sigh and the smothered
crossword. all betOken the gastric agitation
going On within. This is why an Indian prefers
link of bologna sausage and a two-year- old
dog to the high priced groceries so common to
our modern civllization.-BaH Nye IN Laramie
Boomerang.