Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-06-21


The leaves are sharp, the distant hills look out;
balmy briskness comes upon the breeze;
The smoke goes dancing from the cottage trees;
And when you listen, you may hear coil
Of bubbng springs about the grassy soil:
And all the scene, in short--sky, earth and sea-
Breathes like bright-eyed face, that laughs on
openly.
SPICE AND ALLsPIcE.
YOUNG man don't marry "gilded
butterfly" Marry good looking girl.
The butter will fly fast enough when
you get to housekeeping.
LAW is like a sieve; you may see
through it, but you must be consider
ably reduced before you can get through
it.
In refusing to purchase his wife 81
bamboo easel, the wretch of husband
accused the partner of his bosom of try
ing to bambooeasel him. -LoweU
Courier.
SILENT persuaders: Beggar-"You
will not refuse few pennies to dis
charged tunnel laborer? Ihave nothing
left in my pocket beside few dynamite
cartridges"
"WHAT are they doing in there?"
asked somebody who was passing the
committee room. Hexamining 'Au-
thorne ILL.," answered an obliging native
of England.
A F1Y-wHEE1 weighing eleven tons
was cast at STAIRS foundry, Camden, Oh
Tuesday last.-Ex. It must have hurt
the foundry. We wouldn't like to have
anything like that cast at us.
Amazon, Ca, man has received aper-
NIT to shoot snakes on his premises. 1t
is to be hoped that every Georgia man
who sees snakes will not be let loose with
a agun.-Louisvi1e Courier Journal.
A New YORK actress who plays Oliv-
cite kicks one of her dainty slippers into
the audience every night, and Chicago
actress hearing of it, was so tickled with
it that she tried it. Three men were
mashed. Philadelphia Times.
SWITZERLAND has found an old canoe
4, 900 feet above the level OF the sea, and
savants sit around with open mouths and
wonder over it. Couldn't the owner have
backed it up there for q pig-trough q
Detroit Free Press
A Boston journalist says a kiss for
each falling star is the lovers rule. This
may do in Boston, where it takes some
time to remove eyeglasses; but it won't
do in Philadelphia. The falling stars
are too few and far between.
sTHE fact is," said the seedy tramp,
"I have heard so much about the trou.
bles in the labor market that am heart
ily sick of the whole business, and made
up my mind long ago that I would never
have anything to do with labor.
SHE admitted to her mother that the
young man had made very strong i'm
preston on her. eyes," said the old
old lady, ssI can see where the impress
sion mashed that lace fiat as clean nap
kin. Don't let it happen again.
SHAVE you had your ears pierced?
asked young lady of her chum, who
lived next door. "I should think so, y
was the crushing reply, "hearing you
sing every day." There is now great
gulf of coldness between the two.
The presence of spongilla fuviatilis
in most of the city water in the land is
regarded as sufficient excuse by many
for the insertion of four tablespoonfuis
Of spiritus frument in small tumbler OF
aqua pura.-NorristoaUn Herald.
A MAINE boy of years. sick at his
stomach, threw up small piece of cloth,
several silver coins, and three pebbles.
More articles are locked for, and some
think he will throw up missing lawn
mower. COxrSer-J0urn0l.
Mr.. BROWN is not very young, but
Clara says he is pure gold, :" remarked
Matilda, speaking of Clara's matrimonial
choice '' Yes," said Sarah, 81 know that
old gold is quite fashionable, but / pre-.
fer to take my gold while it is young. y
SECRETARY Fo1aER is said to have for.
hidden the clerks in his department tc
use tobacco during working hours. The
working hours of the average depart
lnent clerk are not supposed to be long
enough to occasion much Inconvenience
between chews. - Pittsburgh 7ele'
graph.
A TEXAS man was married while dy'
Jug, and the fashion journals, after 6
lengthy discussion, decided that, al
though his widow must wear mourning
for thirteen days, etiquette, under the
circumstances, will permit her to have
clocks on her stockings. philadelphia
Chronicle.
! A PREACHER in Tennessee tried to es
tablish church in which there should
be no members who used tobacco or any
beverage but water, and his only con-
ereeati0n was an old woman who chewet
elippery-elm and believed in catnip te&
! for measles. Courier Jour-
Fn0l.
"DoN'T drag your feet along tn
Ground SOL" says fond mother to tn
child with whom she is walking: "i
wears out your boots" eyes, ma, re
plies the little one, "but it wears ou
, the ground, tool" Somehow or othe
mamma doesn't regard this as sutficlen
compensation.
: The picnic season is approaching
, which "reminds us of the honest Hi
, bernian in New York who when asked
he had pleasant time at the picnic, re
,, Piled: "1'n not desave ye sor, it wa
duh time; SOFIA black eye on tn
l ground till afther 8 o'clock. ."-Bosto'
Commercial Bulletin.
Il A DENVER paper processes to think
. marvellous that man whose brains wer
1 knOCReu OuG Is Sblu utAuSs II AO Wa
out this way, he would not only be h1
3 ing, but he would be holding some I'm
portant offce.-L0uisvil1e Courier
8 Journal.
ANOTHER brutal prize fight took plac
. . on Long Island, N. T., recently: Som
a of the leading citizens, that is, the arle
s tocratic people, were very much disgus
9 ed and Justly indignant. The train brok
down, and consequently did not get t
the scene of the fight until it was q
= !. over. It was an outrage.
JOHN "a neighbor); They tell me
Z Jess. that yer cousin Wullie's ava
the mad house," Jess: Deco. it
= over true. It was wi study. Johl
4 /" Oh, was he comm oot for q minister
6 Jess: Oh no, but he wrought on q
;. made poetry, on the ends wadna con
Z |. RIGHT, an that put him wrang.
q THE story is not new, but it is not 6a
g that is now going the rounds of the Pa
= = isian press to the following effect:
youth to fortune and to fame unknov
. | ~ a rNH