St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-02-03
SQIIibS.
There is evidently a Wilde man loose
at Yale. Listen to the Records song
"A red or green plush

at 1ale. Listen to the Records song:
"A red-or-green plush
Young girl,
A Russian haremuff
Young girl
A little fur capery,
Esthetc drapery,
Ten hat young girl"
Breakfast caps for young ladies are
the latest fashion. And, conversely,
fashionable young ladies are the latest
at breakfast Lowell Citizen.
Biblical student: OF course Ruth
wanted beau, but no one has ever
been able to determine why she chose
such a BOaz she did Newton Repub
lican.
Darwin acknowledged himself match
ed when his little niece asked him, Sc
riOusly, what cat has that no other
animals has. He gave it up after ma
ture deliberatiOn, and then the sly
puss answered, ''Kittens."- Altoona
Tribune.
At Helenwood, Tenn, two fifteen
cent dogs got into fight. A twenty
cent man tried to part them, when a
| tive-cent lOafer came along and shot
him dead. This is the latest transac-
ton in that state Detroit Free Press.
The man who bought his son boys
chest of tools on Christmas has a fine
assortment of three-legged chairs i'll
the house by this time Detroit Free
Press.
"Well, sissy, which of your Christmas
presents do you love the most 7" and
she lifted up for our inspection a love-
ly maiden clad in pink, with wax nose
slightly rubbed down at the point, one
cheek red and the other white, with
one remaining eye. "Zis one" she re-
piled with look of pride at its cyclic
pean visage. "But, sissy, what has
become of her eye 2" "DOlly swal-
lowed it l sinks when she was sleepin'."
At a recent examination in a girls
school the question was put to class
of little ones, "WhO makes the laws of
our government 2" Congress, was
the reply. GLOW is Congress divided9"
was the next question. A little girl in
the class raised her hand. "Well,"
said the examiner, "Miss Sallie, what
do you say the answer is ~ Instantly,
with an air of confidence as well as
triumph, the answer came, "Civilized,
half civilized and savage"
| An amusing incident occurred the
other day. A gentleman who had been
absent for a considerable time, and
who, during his absence, had raised
pretty luXuriant crop of whiskers,
moustache, etc, visited relative,
whose child, an artless little girl of
five or six years, he was very fond of.
The little girl made no demonstration
toward saluting him with a kiss, as
was usual. ''Why child" said the
mother, don't you give Uncle John
kiss ?" "Why, ma" returned the little
girl, with the most perfect simplicity,
81 don't see any place"
Here we Have a Baby. 1t is com
posed of a Bald Head and Pair of
Lungs. One of the Lungs takes Rest
while the Other runs the Shop. One
of them is always on Deck all of the
time. The Baby is "a bigger Man than
his Mother. He likes to walk about
with his Father at Night. The Father
does most of the Walking and all of
the swearing Denver Trib. Primer.
"Sir," began a creditor who met one
of his victims on Grand-river street
Yesterday, 81 sent you bill in June 7"
eyes, sir.'' "And again in September ?"
eyes sir" "And again in December 7"
eyes, sir" "And | presume you re-
ceived one the other day 7" 81 did,
sir "Well, sir-well, sir ~ fustered
the creditor. "Well, you needn't feel
so stuck up over it," replied the other,
as he lighted "A twenty cent cigar.
"There are firms in this town who send
me bills every two weeks in the year,
and they never stop me on the street
to brag about it, either ! detest
} such egotism, sir Good morn
ing r'-[ Detroit Free Press.
ANY one who is cOnversant with the
facts of anatomical science, or has at
all reflected upon the remark of the
Psalmist that he is fearfully and won
derfully made, cannot fail to look upon
, bows sliding down hill with mingled
wonder and apprehension. AS is well
known, the common practice of the
youth of this city is to perform the
operation of cOasting in a position
which is called, with more of force than
elegance, "belly- bump" of which it is
sufficient to say that the name itself is
. more eloquent than volumes of com
mentary. The boy picks up his sled
by the two ends thereof, runs violently
for a couple of rods, and then, project
ing himself and his sled horizontally
into space, comes down with thump
land in some inscrutable way right
t side up) which makes the spectator in
! stinctively look to see his breast bone
stick out between his shoulder blades,
: and his ribs appear on all sides of his
body like the quilts on the fretful pOr
cupine. And yet nobody ever saw a
boy who had been injured by this ope
ration. On the contrary, it only seems
/. to stimulate his gastric secretiOns, and
t to send him home to supper with an
p appetite like the locust of Egypt
Boston Journal.