The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1882-06-08
HUMoRs OF THE DAT.

"Do YoU play poker, Mrs. Schenk.
wales?" tI do; I play it on MIR.
Schenkwales' head sometimes
"NKvER send present hoping for one
In return" Never. Get your present
first, always, and send yours when yor
have time.
els TIE General ON the retired list 2"
they asked of his wife the other evening.
"Retiredi no, indeed I" she repliedj
she's down to the club playing poker.
JONES accompanied by his dog Snapl
meets Brown, who accosts him with,
Good morning, Jones how's your dog
Snap?" Jones'" Pretty well, thank
you how are you :"
IMAGINE the indignation Of an Ameri-
can boy in French school, who IN
history Glass is told how Lafayette, the
great French General, triumphed IN the
Revolution. assisted by Washington.
"Jusr taste that tea, !" said old Hyson
| to his better half, ct the supper table,
the other evening. Well, there doesn1
seem to be anything the matter with it.
can't taste anything Neither can L
and that's what I'm growing at.
FIRST SwELL-"I never did like
May not nearly SO pretty as Mary );
wonder they don't change the name Of
the month to Mary" Second Swell
Cleyaw ideaw, by Jove; make awys-
taws good to june, you knowr
MoDEsrY: "Do You pretend TO have
as good Judgment As I have?" e4-
claimed an enraged wife to her husband.
"Well, no." he replied slowly, "ouT
1 ~ 1ok
Judgment is not to be compared with
| yours"
A FRENCH officer said to q Swiss Col
onel: "How is it that your countrymen
always fight for money, while we French
always fight for honor p The Swiss
shrugged his shoulders and replied 81
suppose it is because people are apt to
fight for that which they need most.
"I UNDERSTAND that Brown is In
trouble, said Smithson. g Yes,1 replied
/ Fogg. Brown was at the auction shop
the other day. They had silver pitcher,
and Brown offered to take it-offered to
take it for nothing, you know. Well,
the Sheriff took him up. That's al"
| 1T d quite . proper idea for young
lady to paint bunch of pansies on .
fresh-laid egg and toward It by special
messenger to her best gentleman friend.
This signifies Pa 10 Matching another
scheme against you. Come sover the
garden wall this evening. The inter-
est now begins. Haven Regtster.
| UsMz NED lost q dollar the other day,
and when he went home he called up hin
eldest son. "Come heah, boy, and SCI
down. Dis am queer worl, anyway,
s~t
feathers on walkin' ON roses-slap an
Wild yo heels ON mex to nnffin. OF
City Derrick,
TERRBLE fate Of kind hearted girl
According to truthful Indian newspa
Per, . hungry lion invaded young
ladies' seminary on commencement day
Z and, bouncing in among them, carrie,
, of the prettiest and plumpest, with he
J composition In her pocket-a school -gir
/ essay on kindness to animals.
) Chow profoundly still and beautifu
is the night, she whispered, resting he
, hnely-veined temple against his coat
: collar and fixing her dreamy eyes on tn
) far-off Pleiades, chow soothing, hoy
restful. Yes" he replied, toying
) with the golden aureola Of her hair
-ehu "Has AASns W snoot catcs
: Brooklyn Eagle.
"LooK var, Glenn, dom yo' be growlin
bout de scaceness on dem var trousers
Dey's got as much war in 'em yit q
t dem shanks O. yo'n, eben ef yo' fade
: did tram 'roun' Ia 'em mon forty year
. He didn't hab no sich a'si He'd b
prancin' rom in 'em yit, and be prou,
: huff OBJ de chance, eff dar wuz any 'ca
q sion for gearmints whar he's gone. ~
q Rome .SsyltireL