The Portland daily press., 1882-07-08
ARENAS Wards Fun.

The late ARENAS Ward CHARLES f. Browne)
knew what he was about whom he courted the
company of actors and journalists SO assiduous-
II. He took from them more than he gave,
good companion as he was, and it was the ae-
tors who taught him to give expression to his
irresistible flow of spirits in succession of
practical jokes of a harmless sort, yet comical
beyond measure by their very oddity and IN
expectedness. "Come in here come in here!"
said hesone day in Boston to the companion
walking with him. "Come in here; we will
have some fun" 1t was Boston pie-bakery
which they entered--a placeswhere pies were
specialty-where pies and nothing but pies were
sold, wholesale and retail, al the live-long day.
Browne approached the counter, behind which
the proprietor of the establish Iient.was stand
ing, and asked, in his bland, insinuating voice,
"Have you any pies?" ''Pies?" replied the
astonishedsproprieter. s'Yes, pies" "Pies!"
repeated the man, still more dumfounded
COZ course-pies! Have you any-pies?"
"Pies!" gasped the shopman once more, gaz-
ing at Brow ne as if he thought him an escaped
unatic. "Oh, well, if you haven't got any
pies, I'll inquire somewhere else; come, Jack!"
and marched his friend out of the shop
again before the salesman could recover his
wits.
liability of Boston, while loving the place sin
cerely. One day, in early afternoon, having
lecture to deliver that evening, some of his
friends concluded that he would not be able to
talk SO well at night If he kept ON talking in
front of the bar at the Parker House. They
accordingly insisted on an immediate adjourn
ment, and ARENAS, suspecting the game, de-
termiued to revenge himself He locked arm
with two gentle men very well known, indeed
in the city-one a manager of the leading thea
tire, the other pubic officer, high in conf
den1e and books OF the commonwealth, and
walked off with them along the city's most
crowded and fashionable thoroughfare.
Acting as if he was in custody and needed the
care of his companions, and making his voice
conspicuously loud, ARENAS began: "Gentle-
men, you are probably aware that the noble
red man, the incom parable savage of our plains
forest and mountain Businesses, whom l have
studied closely in his native wilds, has va
rious modes of expressing the emotions which
swell his generous bosom, and of giving voice
to the ceremonial traditions inherited from
immemorial ancestry. His cries and lis dam
ces are equally peculiar, and he has particu-
lar sort of whoop for each particular occasion.
The scalp dance, the war dance, the beer
dance, the dance of skulls, each has its appro-
pirate halloo, and so has the feast of the moon
the harvest feast, and SO forth. But no verbal
description, gentlemen can give you an idea OF
these vigorous cries. They must be heard to
20 appreciated; and to him who has never
heard them they arc startling as the revelations
of lifetime. In illustration of what I have
said, gentlemen, ! will now proceed to give
you an imitation of the yell Of the noble saw
age as, tomahawk in hand, he springs exult-
ant from his ambush upon the astounded
foe."
Thereupon Browne executed a startling and
tremendous war whoop, which made people
turn for blocks around and drew upon him the
attention Of thousands.
81 viii now give you," said ARENAS, after
regaining his BREATH "a faint imitation of the
warriors cry as he returns to his wigwam the
scalp Of the slain enemy dangling in CORY
ghastliness at his BELT
Another war whoop; and thus the scamp
kept up his game for mile or SO, until his
friends got him at last to his hotel.