Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-04-27

the principal thoroughfares, one can hardly
fail to be struck by the gray or white hairs
and wrinkled faces, coupled with erect, elastic
forms and suppleness and rapidity of move
ment. There appear to be numberless an
cient heads on comparatively young shoulders.
The opinion long prevailed that rural regions
and rural pursuits favored longevity; but If it
were so once, which is very dubious, it is not
so now. Great centers supply ease, comforts,
material facilities, and save an endless amount
of friction, while the country, it's mOnotony,
lack of interest, fatiguing round Of small con-
Germs and very hard work, wears on the strong
est system. Men in cities generally live not
only much more, but much longer. Country
men wear themselves out with continued labor
unmixed with pleasure.
FACT, FUN AND FANCY FOR THE FAIR SEX.
After man came woman, and she has been
after him ever since.
When young lady refuses marriage pro-
posal, it is a case Of sleight Of hand.
Wrinkles dishgure woman less than i'll
nature.
Woman was not created perfect. She had
her faults-such as false hair, false complexion
and so forth.
-"What were the worst results Of the civil
war ?" cried an orator. "WidOws," shouted
Jones, who had married one.
-'sI thought you took an interest in my well
fare, said William. 'No, sir, i" replied Susan,
"only in your farewell
The man that says that woman has never
invented anything, should listen, for few
minutes, at the keyhole of the sewing society.
Jones says that he used to be proficient in
half dozen languages, but since he was mar
ried he is not even master OF his own tongue.
Before promising woman to love only her,
one should have seen them all, or should see
only her.
We censure the Inconsistency of women
when we are the victims we find it charming
when we are the objects.-L. Desnoyers.
1T is not easy to be widow; one must re-
assume all the modesty of girlhood, without
being allowed to feign its orance.-IMadanae
de Girardin.
Men are sofearful of wounding woman's
vanity that they rarely remember that she may,
by some possibility, possess grain Of common
sense.-Mss Braddon.
Jones thinks man fortunate who has his
will contested after death only. He says his
will has been contested ever since he welded
Mrs. Jones.
In Quincy, Florida, the appropriate custom
prevails to salute newly married couple by
firing a cannon. This is to remind them that
the battle of life has fairly begun.
- The Elmira advertiser says: 'Never try to
conceal anything from your wife, for, in the
first place, it isn't right, and in the second
place, only fool attempts impossibilities."
When two women are talking together it
is safe to predict that they are saying evil
of third when two men, that they are say
ing good of themselves.
TASK no woman her age" says a recent
writer on social ethics. Of course not. ASK
her next best lady friend. She will never fail
to give the information.
Hens scratch up flower beds only when
they are barefooted. That's why women run
out and ''shoo" the hens to keep 'em from do
ing damage.
-'Isn't your husband little bald ?" asked
one lady of another, in store, recently.
''There isn't bald hair in his head, " was the
hasty reply of his wife.
AN old bachelor, who died recently, left
will dividing his property equally among the
women who had refused him; "because, said
he, "to them owe all my earthly happiness. !"
A celebrated lawyer once said that the
were young lady who wanted to be married,
a married woman who wanted divorce, and
an old maid who didn't know what she wanted.
A young widow was asked why she was
going to wed so soon after the death Of her
first husband. 'Oh la," said she, 81 do it to
prevent fretting myself to death on account
of dear Tom!'
- s'Tommy,n said a mother to her 7-year old
boy, s'you must not interrupt me when am
talking with ladies. You must wait till we
stop, and then you can talk" "But you never
stop" retorted the boy.
An Oil City man purchased a small hand
bellows, took it home, and told his wife he had
she replied that a smaller sized bellows would
have answered the purpose better.
Believe a woman's eyes rather than her lips.
In other words when she says, my dear, you
are so DOOR will try to get along without
new Spring bonnet, "look at her eyes. If they
flash fire get the bonnet.
Women Of the world never use harsh ex-
pressons when condemning their rivals. Like
the savage, they hurl elegant arrows, orna-
mented with feathers of purple and azure, but
with poisoned points
1t is remarked by a cynical bachelor that
he never attends ball or party, without
meeting large number Of women whom he
thinks would make excellent wives-for his
friends.
1t is a curious, yet unexplained fact, often
noticed by ordinarily close observers, that
man, after being much about house
where there are two or three ladies, gradually
loses his talking habit, and scarcely speaks
word more than is absolutely necessary.
"A very old lady on her death-bed, in PEN
itential mood, said II have been great sin
ner more than eighty years, and didn't know
it," An old darkey woman who had lived
with her long time exclaimed: "Lors l
knowed it all de time.'
- Conjugal amenities you know in
what month of the year my wife talks the
least? ?'' 'sWell, 1 suppose, when she catches
cold and loses hervoice." Not at all. 1t is in
February" ''Why is that p because Feb
ruary has the fewest days."
- The happiest period of wOman's life is
when she is making her wedding garments.
The saddest is when her husband comes home
late at nights and yells to her from the front
door steps to throw out handful of keyhOles
of different sizes.
- The story is told Of a canny Scott, who,
having recently lost his wife, was receiving the
commiserations of friend. "You have had
a great trial, Mr.. Campbell" eyes, sir, you
may well say that" was the reply. And then
pausing, with shake of his head: "Not only
was it great trial, but let me tell you, mat
ter of considerable expense"
One morning woman was shown into DR..
Abernethy's room; before he could speak she
barred her arm, saying, Burn "A poultice," !"
said the doctor. Next day she called again,
showed her arm and said, ''Better." "Con-