The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1882-01-12
a garden party-Satan in Eden.

should also be short
How TO prevent new boots fror
sqneihing in church stan in th,
lie.
No woman should borrow tbs
husband of another, because it i,
not good for man to bo u loan.
at is never too late TO mend.
which is why the cobbler never hat
your boot done ut tire time promis
"a.
The young man who gave M
drinking to propitiaio bis girl, wise-
concluded that a miss is as 200
az a smile.
Patrick on The zebra-"Phat kind
Of baste is that-thc mulo wii bi.
ribs on the outside of his shkiu en-.
tirely ~
Dug stores in Mime and Kansas
arc closing mp for want Of custom
it havin boen decided that rock and
rye is not II medicine.
One redeemng feature of Mor>
monism seems 10 he that it does not
throw tue burden of the support OF u
husband on one woman.
What is tho d.ffeienco between
laudanum aud Abraham Of old ?
One is the juice Of the poppy aud
the other the poppy Of Tho Jews.
Gelogists arc agreed that the
earth is millions of years old The
mountain tops have been bald as far
back AS We can remember.
1t is mean man who will FEC
flies by having the wax figure of Q
baldshe led man in his room TO at
tract them from him.
The first thing that somo women
will want TO do when they get to
heaven will be to hunt Tor II broom,
aud dust and clean house.
1t is said that all fashionable sal
die horses at Newport have their
tails banged. The uufashouuble
mules have their ribs banged.
1t seems n little strange that jams
should always be found in u wide.
monthed bottle. Only the jim jlms
frequent tho narrow -necked bottle.
Why is wine that has been bot
tied for years like an unmarried lady
Of advanced age ? Because it is old
made, aud none the worse for it.
Jones, on hearing banI Of
picked musicians" torturing n tune
ut recent concert, said, "Ah, | un-
derstand they wero picked be-
fore they were ripe -
Always help those who are able TO
help themselves. Lightning can
reach the earth without any assis-
tance aud yet mon put up light
ming rods for lightning to slide
down on.
The only jokes women like to read
are those that reflect riIicule on tho
men. Hence, when II woman picks
up paper, the FIRST thing she looks
for is the marriage column.
The girl who was locked in her
lovers arms for three long hours,
explains that it wasn't Der fault.
She claims he forgot tho combira.
ton.
"Do you think you will be able to
pull through I" anxiously inquire Ell
tho needle of the thread. Eye guess
SO, was the curt response.
A very sweet breath is said to be
an indication of blood poisoning
We fear that blood poisoning is not
epidemic in the United States.
viii Edith have some potatoes ?
said q fond mother TO her little
daughter. No was tho prompt re,
ply. No what, dear, says mamma
No potatoes was the emphatic reply.
A small boy went to see his grand
mother. After looking eagerly
aronni the handsomely furnished
room where she sat, he exclaimed,
inquirinsly : "Oh, gradmamma
where is the miserable table papa
says you kcep1"
Wishing to pay his friend com.
plinent n gentleman remarked -
Il hear you have very Industrious
wife," Yes" replied tho friend.
with a melancholy smile, "she is
never idle. She always finds some.
thing for me to do"
A recent advertisement contains
the following "lf the gentleman
who keeps the shoe store with a red