Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-07-08
sruoP1sDfkr's Hsr oeef.
lFrom the BROOKLYN Eagle /

EkVVI dNNxA1E q R1'" VVUl'
[From the Brooklyn Eagic.l
"My dear" said Mr.. Soopsndyke, IA
he appeared before his vile with q
broad grin on his face, ''say, my dear.
I've bought some chickens SO we can
have fresh laid eggs. Look! and he
held out a pair OF foul tied by the legs.
Tor Mrs. Spoopendyke's contemplation
"Well, upon my word" exclaimed
| Mrs. Spoopendvkc. ''Oi all things!
Chickens Ever since we've been mar
ried I've wanted chickens!" and she
approached the birds cautiously and
with look OF misgiving that S,elied her
words. "Where can We keep tbem?"
lin a coop, Mrs. Spoopsndyke, III n
coop!" retorted her husband, laying tho
chicken. OIL the bed while he divest-d
| himself of his coat and vest. 1--WE
might keep 'cm up the chimney or In
the clock. but we probably won't. Well
just keep 'em in u hen coop. and I've
got the laihes and nails down stairs 10
buil Id it with. Come down In the yard"
and MIR. Spoopendvke grabbed his nav
acquisitions hv .he legs and started of,
followed BY his wife.
"DO YOU know how to build coop ?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. as she watch.
cd her husband dig post hole In tho
corner she had reserved for u geranium
bed.
"It don't you probably do" snorted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, kicking away at the
spade until he loosened his leg. "Now
put this post here and that one there.
Then thu twU fenc.s make the rest. and
then only lathe up these two-d"d g.st
the post y he concluded, as it toppleh
over on his ear. "Cau't you hold il up?
What're you sitting around there like =
cork in a jug torp H"ld 1t up, will YEP"
Mrs. Spoopendyke graspsd the post
hrmly with both hands and held it at
an angle of thirty degrees.
Now hold it perfect " still while
dig the other hole" and Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke hacked away ut the ground sga,u
and set his second post. ~
IL see what you mean." giggled Mrs.
Spoopeudyke. ''Yos stat il up iron
| QUO post to lhe Oth.,r and then put the
chickens in. My! how nice that will
be!'' 49,
Mr.. Spoopendyks glared at her mo.
ment and then began putting up bis
laths. standing betws the posts and
the ience corner whistling ns he worked.
''NOw," said he. as he finished, Awhat
do you think of that F" a;.4s
Mrs. Spoopendyks examined the job
critically.
..ltfs perfect palace r. she exclaim.
ed. ''Bu! say, dear, how ara you going
to get outp'
"Yah hn!" "roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
bounding into the air. "Why didn't ye
tell mea What'd ye wast 10 Let me
build myself 10 like . mummy fOr!
Why didn't ye watch whst l was
doing ?" and Mr.. Spoopendyke grinned
horrible. through the slats.
hole In IT," faltered Mrs. Spo0pend3 ke.>
$50 lam |" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
iammlng bis leg through the structure.
want any more holes! aud he kick.
cd the side hall way across the yard.
Pour chickens, tour holEs!, he roared
and the lates few In all directions.
WANT any more holesp and he
smashed the roof out with the spade.
"Holes constantly on hand! II you
don't see the hole you want, ask for Il! ("
aud he blew out the end viih terrific
energy. ''Nsw goods osming IN at all
times! Second hand holes specialty!"
and he banged out the 6shsr end.
PARTIES wanting holes TO send TO the
country will consul: their Interests by
applying here before going elsew herel''
and he ripped down the rest vi the
coop with prodigions clatter. s.WAnt
any more holes 10 this particular c0OpP"
.hs roared. wrenching out tho posts and
slamming them acroos the yard. "Does
! this hen coop begin to convey the I'M.
preston Of having ; hole in 1t ?" he de-
manded, standing up to his vile.
"Yes, DEAR" replied Mrs.. Spoopen.
dyke, soothingly. ppm SO glad you
got out. but where can We keep the
chickens nowp"
keep 'em2' ripped Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. with horrible grlmace,t and
grasping the wretched fowls by tho
legs. '.who's going 20 keep 'em ?" and
he cut the lashings. "S'poss I'm going
to run my business just to crafty every
whim OF wOmanp" and he jerked the
chickens into the air.
Never mind" cooed Mrs. SpOoendyke.
as the last bird slid over the fence and
Disappeared. "Chlckens arc q nuisance,
anyway. We really didn't need any"
"Why didn't you say 50 before I
bought 'emP" blurted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
a. be dashed into the house.
IL didn't know IT," sighed Mrs.
Spoopendyks, Looking around on the
wreck, ''and. besides. don't believe
we would have had many eggs. bscause
those chickens were all rooslers ;"
And Mrs. Spoopendyke followed her
husband. who stormed around the rest
OF the evening because she couldn't fud
the paper of January II, 1879. whlch hs
had cautioned her to save because there
was some, hing in il he wanted to read,
and which he had used the next day,
IN conjunction with the back breadth OF
her new flannel petlIcoat, TO clean hts
shotgun with.