Tombstone weekly epitaph., 1882-09-23
aaeas caught on the Fly.

| Several candidates TOT tle laVOf Ol the I(e- publican convention, have entered into combinations which our esteemed evening contemporary most heartily condemns. Positively, it is most difficult to determine why. How the deuce can those things be helped? Of course it is rather unfortunate for those who are on the outside but most delightfully pleasant for the fellows in the ring Each individual has tangible idea | that he would like 10 win and it is natur- al that he should enter into any sort of combination that may lead to the realiza- ton of his ambition, without much thought as to who that combination might cynch. There is but one remedy, and that lies in making another and stronger com bination. Better take the remedy, Dun bar.
 A Tucson Republican contemporary sug- gests that Larkin w. Carr cannot be elect ed to the office of Sheriff of Cochise county, because he is too honest. Such an opinion, coming from the leading Repub- lican journal of Arizona, is characteristic of the tenes of the party it advocates, in leaning directly and advisatorlally towards the candidacy of dishonest men. We'll dishonesty may be at premium, but the l Democracy of COchise have camped on the other side of the fence, and propose to besiege said dishonesty, even if it be "kick against the bricks"
 Tom Fitch is tryng to gobble the Grand Central mine, and has found the .e, al net, with which he proposes to perform that feat in one of the cells of the Territorial pris- on. Tom is versatile genius in his way, and has mingled during his sky rocket career, in company of all | grades and fashions, but that he would t- | nally hob-nob with convict, has, prob ably, never entered the imagination of even l the most sanguine of his friends. This last act caps the climax of our curiosity | about him, and we are curious no longer. There is nothing he may try to do, that will hereafter strike us as extraordinary in. it's nature, or at all sensational. The Grand Central is safe enough, and, of course, Toms suit is but in the nature of quack advertisement but that is nothing. | The Arabian Night idea, and the illumin- atei cheek of the proposition, are what | fills the mind of an ordinary being with a sense of littlenesS and awe. We had formed an opinion that the St. Jacobs oil fellow could get up sensational advertise ments, but he can no more be compared to Tom Fitch, than Mexican clown can to Dan Rice.
 Judge Porter has taken the stump, in defense of himself and against the present administration. It is split stump, and | he Is bound to get his foot in it.
 Phe Porter boom is an anti-administra- tion bladder, badly prlcked by federal | pin in the hands of Zabriskie
 It is currently reported that yellow fever has broken out in the Territorial | Prison, owing to the quantity of Co.rupt- ion scattered all over that institution. We recommend that the editor of the Yuma Sentinel be employed as physician. The clink of Republican coin is merrily sounding on the bar of Black burns Senate saloon. It is mere ques- tion ot drinks as to which candidate re- ceives the endorsement of the Republican | convention,
 When fireman meets fireman, then comes the tug of war.
 Our evening contemporary alludes to some man with badge. We are ac- acquainted with but one individual in the county who wears one, and it adds very much to his appearance. He carries it on a wager.
 Republican combinations are still four ishing, and, following the advice of the EPTrAPH, counter arrangements are spring ing into life. From present appearances, it Is safe to assert that the country will be badly cinched.
 An hones. man is the noblest work of | God, but according to our Republican | contemporary, it is only the work of the devil that should be patronized by the peo. pie.
 Poor Carr. How unfortunate it is that he is honest. According to the Republican press, the grave misfortune that rests with him, in life of probity, cannot, help but initiate against his political success. Better go sin little, Carr, and become popular.
 | A letter was received to-day at the EPI- TAPH office, seeking information as to what support Tombstone might afford Massa- chusetts schoOlmaster. We have not the least idea. A sober and industrious one might be able to support himself, with an occasional raid on the faro games, but an | incorporate one would be in bad fix for support, as there are no lamp posts in the city
 Tombstone is shortly 10 be furnished with gas-by the Republican convention.
 Would-be District Attorney Williams had good time kissing all his female rel atives It is lucky for him that his wife is long way off. The votes of his rela- tives will be about all he will receive, al- though hIs nomination is secure enough.
 The warhorse of the Huachucas has not yet thrown up his tail, but is breathing easy, and his skin is as loose as though he had never run a heat They are trying to hObble him, but his heels are too lively for safety. His old Virginia blood, crossed with his army record, makes tough strain, and he is bound to run, even if he is dis tanccd
 4 new drink can be found at the Senate saloon, called "the convention latch-key."
 What has become of Dibble, the manip- ulator? Is he dlsgusted, or working in the dark? If the latter, those candidates who think they have dead thing had bet ter lOoK out
 Dibble is the Tom Fitch of Cochse county.
 The Senate saloon is doing a splendid business in the patronage of Republican candidates Some of the most persistent Tn leaning up against Blackburn's bar are already troubled with the collie, and two or three of them have rubbed all the buttons of their vests. Most of them will be skinned alive before the campaign is ended.
 Atchison says he can carry every ward in the city. Unless he works hard mere is one Ward that will surely get away with