The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1882-11-09
Betwixt the living and the dead,
MIR.

The Van Nores were present at the
creation of the world. Some people say
they made it, but really knows bet
ter than that. Ii it had not been for their
unaccountable belief that the builder of
the ark that rested on Mount Ararat was
a Jew, and their unutterable contempt
for the race ofSpinoza and Mendelssohn,
of Heine, Amerback and Disraeli, they
would not have hesitated to conceive
that the family name of the Patriarch
was Van More.
At any rate you may understand that
the Van Nores were an immensely an
cient family, so old as to be really worm
eaten. In the dust of the Van Nores
there were soldiers and statesmen, and
even a less regarded author Or two; in
this century there was nothing at all to
speak of. If, however, any one says
their family tree was like one of those
old, wide and deep-rooted fir-trees some
times seen, with but a single gnarled and
lichened branchleftof all its forest glory,
the best part of it underground, you can
see that the person is no friend of the
Van Nores, but one whose eyes have
been hurt by the dazzle of their splendor,
who hiss been forgotten at their ban
guets, looked at with a stony glare upon
the street. or possibly knocked down and
bruised and ignored by their fast horses.
Being immensely ancient, immensely
distinguished and also immensely
wealthy. it goes without saying that
the Van Nores thought immensely well
of themselves. They never soiled their
garments by contact with the crowd;
they bought their pictures and stat
ues straight from the manufacturers
before they had been profaned by the
vulgar gaze; they would have liked the
gold they spent cast with a Van More
device and the die broken. They could
not hope to keep all the knowledge in
the universe to themselves; but they did
not care so much for that-there were
always tutors and chaplains and all that
to be had, after the custom of certain of
the South Sea Island chiefs, who main
tain a Fila-oma, or Talking Man OF
knowledge. If, once in a while, they
allowed themselves to come before the
public in a matter of suffrage. it was not
altogether without the sensation of some
wicked scribe who has written the Sacred
Name with unwashed hands, and, being
usually defeated, they relapsed into a
ulO1O DIOlOUlo COuIclupU III Iuc pEOUlO
than before, and talked gibly of the ad-
vantages of a m~oaarchy, although not
without an undercurrent of feeling that
in the event of a monarchy the Van
Nores would be monarchs. They inter.
married, of course, onlyswith families of
a pedigree and. assumption n degree
less than-itcould not be more than, and
could hardly be equal to-the Van Nores.
Judge, then, of the bewildered and
amazed wrath of the Van More family
when the son of the house, the heir O
the name, the last of the name, the only
male Van More left to go down the age!
with the weight of the family illustrious
ness upon his shoulders, married ayouns
girl in the West, unknown, obscure, poo,
Hnd a Jewessi
More Van More had a sister older thai
himself, a dark and imposing creatur,
with the Van More nose; he had a siste
younger than himself, pallid, bloodless
with her mothers delicacy of feature
and with nothing about her but he
haughtiness to distinguish her from tn
herd of young women; he had one Va
More cousin, a little apple-blossom hardl
coming up tothe family requirements; h
hdO AOul v OIL NUN Sp1uolCI duuLS, VIII
if they quarreled among themselves lik
birds in a wood, presented an unbroke
phalanx of family integrity to the public
and who, with the idea that they had tn
manners of duchesses, really gave som
reason to believe them directly descende
from the Patriarch, they looked so ez
tremely like the wooden women in th
children's toy arks. His father embodie
all the dignity, pomposity and grandue
of all the Van Nores before him, as if b
were the flame of their ashes; he had br
n gift, and that wa a faculty for 81
tirical speech, which he exercised wit
impunity upon his wife-his wife, til
line of whose descent was so long that
had worn to a colorless, attenuated threa
in her, a thin, pale, languid woman,
whose condition it expressed little to SO
she dared not call her soul her own, b
cause. in looking at her, or lookin
through her, rather, it was not clear TIL
she had a soul-a woman without int
lect, without individuality, and almo
without vitality. Into this assemblas
More Van More had dared introduce
person absolutely without a grandfathe
and whose grandfather, had she had on
would have been named Shacabac!
Mr.. Van More and his household wou
entreat this vile and vulgar intrigue
who had thrust herself upon them, al
had thought to lift herself by pullir
them down, as she deserved. In the
heart of hearts they had a complete,
inarticulate, consciousness that no Of
could have married the bridegroom
question for any other purpose. Al
More Van More received u letter of
oIuliilion from bis father, disowning al