Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1882-03-09
"A Love Letter.
Tellccl'.

In this remarkable etfusion it will be
seen that tho sublime and the ridiculous
follow each other 10 brilliant and laughablo
successou:
My DEAR Miss C.--Every timo I think
of you my heart aops up aud down liko u
churn-dasher. Sensations of uuutterablc
joy capcr over it like young goats on
stable roof, aud thrill through it like
Spanish needles through pair of tow
linen trowsers. AS gosing swimmeth
with delight in n mud puddle, SO swim 10
q sea of glory. Visions of ccstatic rapture
thicker than tho hairs on baoking brush,
and brighter than the hues of humming
birds pinicns, visit mo in my slumbcrs
aud borne on their invisible wings, your
image stands before me, ani reach out to
grasp it, life pointer swapping at blue
bottle ly. When l first behcd your an-
gelic perfeetions, l was bewildered, my
brain whircd around like bumblo bee
under glass tunbler. My cyos stood
open like cellar doors in country town,
and [ lifted up my cars to c,tch the sivery
accents of your voice. My tongue refused
to wag aud in silent alteration | drank in
the sweet infection of love. Since the
light of your face fell upon my life,
sometimes feel as if could lift myself up
by my boot straps to the top of the Presby.-
terian secplo and pull the bell rope for
singing school. Day aud night you are 10
my thoughts. When Aurora, blushing
like bride, rises from her saffron couch;
when the jaybird pipes its tuncful lay in
the apple tree by tho spring house; when
the ohanticlecrs shrill clarion hcralds the
coming morn; when the drowsy beetle
wheels his droning flight at sultry noontidc
and when the loving COWS como home at
milking time, | think of thee, and like
pieco of gum 'lastic, my heart seems to
stretch clear across my bosom Your foro
head is smoother than the elbow of on ola
coat. Your eyes arc glorious to behold.
la their liquid depths see legions Of little
cupids buth:ng like q cohort Of ants in an
old army cracker. When their fire hit me
upon my manly breast, it penetrated my
whole anatomy as load Of bird shot would
20 through rotten apple. Your nose is
from chunck of Paran marble, and your
mouth puckcred with sweetness. Nectar
fingers on your lips like honey on bears
paw and myrads of unnelgcd kisses are
t here ready to fly out and light somewhere.
like tluo birds out of parents nest.
Your laugh ,ings in my ears ike the wind
harp's strains or the hlcnt Of II stray lamb
on bleak hillside. The dimplcs on your
checks are like bowers and beds of roses,
or hoiows in cakes Of home made sugar.
am dying to fly to thy presence and
pour out the burning eloqucncc of my love
as thrifty housewives pour out hot coffee
Away from you am as melancholy as a
O ini. rnt I hoou ho
bugs of dependency buzzing in my ears,
aud feel the cold Iiznrds of despair crawling
down my back Uncnuth fears, like
thousand minnows, uibbo at my spirits,
aud my soul is pierced through with doubts
as an old cheese is bored with shippers.
sly love for you is stronger than the
smell of CofFy's patent butter or the kick
of young COW, and more unse'fish than
kittens first catcrwaul. AS the song bird
bankers for tho light of day, the cautious
mouse fo: tho fresh bacon in the trap,
as lean pup bankers for new milk, so |
long for thee.
You aro faircr than spcckled pullet,
swceter than q doughnut fried in sorghum
molasses, brighter than the topnot plumagc
on the head of muscovcy duck. You
are candy kisses, raisins, pound cake and
swcctcncd tody altogether.
If these few remarks will enable you to
sec the inside of my soul, ond me to win
your affections, | shall be as happy as o
woodpecker on cherry tree, or stage
horse IN green pasture. If you cannot
rcciprocatc my thrilling passion, will pine
away like poisoned bcdbug and fall away
from the fourishing vine of life, an un-
timely branch; and in the coming year,
when the shadows grow from the hills and
the phiIosophic frog sings his cheerful
evening hymns, you, happy iu another's
love, can come and drop tear and catch
cold upon the last resting place of yours
truly, *,.*
The sermon with which tho Rev. George
G. Min astonishcd his Unitnrian copgre-
CATION, in Chicago, by remuneration of be
lief in God or n future Ifc, was bitter at.
tack on Christianity. Speaking of tho
general disbelief in literal hell, ho said
"Yet, defenders of conservative theology
would do wcll to guard strongly tho gates of
hell for when they fall the chief scourgc
in the hands of the church has lost its lash
Nay! tho system then already totters to fall;
for tho foundations of orthodoxy are laid
in tho bod of hell" He thinks that tho
churches Of n century hcnoc will teach mo
rality for its own sake, and leave tho ques-
ton Of future life to speculation. Mr.
Min was until lately Congrcgationalist
The Chicago church which ho now
gives up was formerly tho Rev. DR.. Coll
ycr's.
NJ " m