The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-01-15
A Catochfsat.
ESPECIALLY GOTTEN Up FOR TIE SUNDAY
SCHOOL BOYs OF WHEELING.

SCHOOL BOYs OF WHEELING.
Who is this manY II is reporter. Has
he been to funeral? No; he has not been
70 q funeral: he has been to church. What
has he been doing ut church! lie has been
thinking OF some new lie 10 tell about the
music. Why does he look 20 sad? He is
moi sad he is only thinking. OF what is
he thinking? He is wondering what to
do with his money. Has he much
money? oh, yes; a great dcal-ior
reporter; he has fifteen cents
which he found. Are all reporters so rich 7
Well. no; not all; this one is an cXcer-
tional case. DO the reporters receive Christ
mas giitsg ID. s.; but they give n great
many things away; every reporter has a
liberal heart in this respect. Where is the
reporter going now? He is going into 4
saloon. What is he going to do in there !!
lie is going to deliver Temperance lecture.
Is the reporter a good man? Yes, my
child--aslecp. Does the reporter know
ANYTHING? Everything. Does he print all
he knows? Not by a-gOod deal. what
is the hest thing Il reporter does! Lie
about weddings, parties, balls, and people.
Is it right to lie? No. il is not right TO lie,
but it is popular. Is everything the re-
porter does POPULAR Well, not every
thing, but most things.
What is the matter with this man? lie
is full. /. he very full' Chuck up. How
came he TO be full? He has been celC.
bratng Christmas-it comes but once a
wear, YOU know. VIII he feel better to-
morrow? No; he will feel worse; he will
have swclled head. Is it right TO get
full? II is If you can stand the racquet.
What is the matter with this little boy
He attended a Sunday-schOol Christmas
celebration and ate too much candy. No,
he has not an aching void, but he is not
void Of aches. Docs he attend Sabbath
school regularly! Not much; he Is found
i'm the fold but once year. VIII he he
there next year? You bet. What becomes
OF little children who 20 to Sunday school
only mt Fourth OF July and Christmas, and
90 ishing every other Sunday in the year !:
They sometimes get drowned, but not
often. They generally grow up to be con-
gressmen or circus actors or justices OF the
peace.
Has this other little boy also been to a
| Christmas celebration? No; this little boy
| has been TO the matinee. DO YOU get candy
at the matinee? No; no little boy need be
| afraid OF getting too much luxury mt ma
/ tinee. What do little boys get at the matt
nees They get TO give up their seats TO
nice ladies, and go and lean up in the COR
ner with the umbrellas. Is it nice to 90 to
the matinee? Yes, il is nice-for The ladies.
Is that man trying TO tie bis LEGS to-
gelhcrS No; he is inebriated, and the in
ebriated stand on slippery places. What
makes him soy Egg-nog. What is egg
nogl A compound OF milk, sugar, spice,
and rum-pcasing, but deceiying. What
does il do? IL warns things up and in
duccs desire in the breast of the imbiber
to paint things red.
Who is this tired-looking man? This is
post-office clerk. What does he do
Nothing but stay around the Office twenty
two hours ont Of twenty-four and get
cussed by people whose Christmas presents
do not come. Does it not make the postal
clerks feel very bad TO be cussed No;
it does not They are used to it, and feel
disappointed il somebody does not swear
at them every ten minutes. Are they often
/ disappointed? Not very often. Would
you like to be postal clerk and wear blue
clothes! No, we would rather be one of
/ the public who cusses them.
! Who is this taii MANI This is dry
| goods storekeeper. Why does he look so
! happy! Because he has been selling UNI
brellas that cost 70 cents for S2.50.- Wheel
! ing Inteiiigencer.