Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-19
HE COULDN'T CATCH ON.



tered i,a Reporting Sermon.
eve are little shorts said the city edi-
Tor in an apologize way, to the sporting
reporter on Saturday night, s'and I will
have to ask you to help on the religious to-
GAIL right, what is its''
$50 down to the cathedral; our Episco-
pal bishop is going to discourse on some
thing interesting. Use your own
judgment about space"
The sporting reporter finished an article
on the result of the running meeting,
checked off his assignment, and went
home. The next morning he turned up
smilingly at the church, and hustled in
through the vestibule as if he had been de-
layed. He was met by solemn-looking
usher, of whom he inquired, breathlessIy:
Sam in time for the first heath"
The usher looked astonished, and asked:
''Can show you to seat?"
eyes, will my quarter-stretch ticket ad-
nit me to the grand stand?"
'sWe have no grand stand" said the ush-
er, perplexed, 'but can give you front
pew if you would like that" and he con-
Quoted him to seat in the second pew,
Immediately under the pulpit, and went
away wondering what sort of fish had come
to church that morning. The sporting re-
porter took a seat next to benevolent
looking old gentleman with mutton chop
whiskers and very high collar. He looked
in vain for a table or rest to write upon.
Not finding any he mopped his face with
his sleeve and began whiting very small
stub of lead pencil.
'Good day for the race" he said from
force of habit. The mutton-chop man did
not answer, and the turf reporter inquired
if there were many entries. The man did
not understand this either, and the report
er opened hymnal and began to read it,
laboring under the impression that it was
an old-fashioned ''Krick's Guide" The
church slowly filed up, and after a time
the bishop and other clergymen came out
and the service began. The entire cere-
monies completely nonplussed the racing
man. He could not keep up with the pro-
cession, and when the bishop and clergy
man began informing together, he offered
to bet with the mutton-chop man as to
which would come out winner. He sat the
morning out and went back to the Office
with the best face on the matter he could
put.
'See here" he said to the city editor,
"what sort of racket were you trying to
give me?"
"Why, what is the matter?" said the
chief.
'Why, that church racket. I couldn't
make head or tail of the race, and for the
life of me don't know this minute who
l.; -,
and got good seat right in the grand
stand; there was no reporters stand"
"You mean you sat in the front pew"
'sUm-m-m," said the horseman,' right
in front of the judges stand"
Judges stand!" said the editor; ''why,
that was the pulpit"
mo, it wasn't any pulpit. 1t was just
like judges stand, only it had big COW
er, which suppose they let down on the
judge when he made bad decision. The
grand stand and pavilions were we'll filled
up, and tried my best to get few points
on the days race, but no one seemed to be
very fly on points"
"Did the bishop preach?"
'sThere were four entries"
-Four what?''
s'Four entries. One was big sixteen
hand fellow, whose colors were blue and
white; the other was smaller, and had red
and white; the other was black and white,
and the last seemed to be riding out of his
colors, and couldn't tell which was which,
for there were no programmes. Blue and
White got the pole and the scoring began.
tried to get some odds on him from a
sucker who sat next to me, but he wouldn't
bet. At last they all came up neck and
neck, and stood up and shouted It's a
go! but the crowd all told me to sit down,
and the man who tends the gate came up
and told me he'd put me out if I didn't
make less noise. I asked him who was
running this track anyway, but dame be-
hind me pulled my sleeve and told me to
sit down. Red and White cast shoe at
the quarter pole, but caught up fairly af-
forwards, resumed his pace and came un-
der the wire a clear winner by half a
length, trotting a little lame, however.
They took breath, and tried to catch a
bet again, but could find no takers. Time
was called for the next heat, and the un-
known was bit fractions at the post, and
after some delay they effected an indiffer-
ent start. Red and White went to the
front, but Blue soon passed and took the
lead, winning easily. In the third heat the
field got away at the first tap of the drum,
Red leading and Blue coming up to second
place. There was good race up to the
half-mile pole, where Blue took the lead.
As he broke into the straight at the finish
he seemed to be picking up his feet quite
lively, and he came down the stretch with
his head up, and went under the wire at a
2:2O gait"
SWELL you don't seem to have caught
much of the sermon. Was there any mu
sic?'
''Well, I should say so. There was full
orchestra in the band house. It was quite
slick, but one FLY was crowded into a
pocket by big gelding, and when the
race was finished she was left behind.
When came out of the door tried to see
the Paris mutuals, but they weren't on the
board. I didn't get the hang of the thing
to-day, but if you give me another crack at
it next Sunday think. will get on to it
in better shape"
The chief, however, will confine the
young man to his proper sphere hereaf-
ter.
ROYALTY IN PARIS.
The Er-Enepress EM0cnie's Tisit to the