The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1882-09-10
IntrOductions and Acquaintances.

Questions between husbands and wives we
are, as rule too wise to undertake to settle,
or even discuss In the first place, how can
we rely on the facts as they are given to us
by one of the parties to the dispute? And.
next, all minor differences between married
people can be best arranged without the in
PREVENTION of a third party, however well he
may be informed in regard TO the circum-
stances. Sentiment enters into the dispute,
and that is not easy to manage by logic even
the soundest and by Judgment no matter
how correct it may be. The affections create
the trouble, and generally they must be re-
lied on to heal it.
However, a friend asks us some questions
about which he and his wife seem to have had
n difference: and as they concern etiquette
to great extent, we probably can safely ~
swer them. 1t is very unfortunate for man
and his wife 10 fall into controversy over
social proprieties and to let it rage to such
IN extent as to threaten their coniugsl hap
piness with destruction. A very little eXpla-
nation and advice will, we hope, restore har-
mony to the household Of our friend.
1t is evident rom the following letter that
he has not taken the right ground in the
matter, as we shall proceed to show him:
rs 1t proper for my wife 10 visit widow who keeps
Il boarding house and b, introduced TO young men who
boarding there and lie them aterward while
walking with the they being strangers to
met Was proper Cor the widow to Introduce my wife
her boarders when She only called Ought
to have anything say about what mai. acquaintance
| my wife shall! make,"
OF course no good wife makes and keeps
acquaintance who are disagrceabc TO her
husband. But is it not inevitable that men
| should sometimes be introduced to her whom
| he does not know? Shall husband make it
a rule that no man shall be presented to his
wife who is not known TO him beforehand =!
OF course it is possible to make such rule.
There are women who would take pains to
govern their conduct by it, but all the same
| they would prefer that their husbands should
have more confidence in them, and not treat
| them like slaves who could not be trusted
out of sight. A short time ago we had re-
ports Of Il very serious domestic rupture in
the case of st. Louis man and his spouse
| He was II husband OF the most jealous sort
He would not only have his wife think of him
all the time, but he would compel her to DO
it, as If there was anything desirable in en-
forced regard. When she came East he wrote
out for her a set of rules to which he re-
quired her obedience. She was to speak To
nobody while she journcycd She was to be-
introduced neither to man nor woman in
New York, and was to converse only with
the family with which she stayed. She was to
record her every movement in a diary TO be
sent to him daily. Her freedom was taken
from her entirely; and of course she rebelled.
Hers We're matrimonial bonds of which she
very naturally desired TO be rid.
But generally woman of good disposition
accommodates herself to her husband $
wishes, even il those be to some extent the
outgrowth of jealousy. She will not rritate
him unnecessarily. Still cur friends wife
seems to have done nothing to which even n
jealous man ought TO take objection. IL
there was anybody Mt fault it was the widow.
She ought not To have introduced her board
ers without first getting the permission of
her visitor. For of course there was no need
of any introduction at all. People can dine
together and talk together, If they WISH in n
boarding house, without going through the
formality of an introduction. That is some
thing which in such cases might well not
take place without the consent of the person
To whom the presentations We're made, cspe-
cially in the ease of Il lady
But perhaps the widow was proud of our
friends wife, and wanted to show her off to
her boardcrs, She may also have thought
that her boardcrs were nice lot of young
fellows. She may have wished TO get their
good graces by introducing them TO an at
tractivc woman. Whatever her motive, what
could the wife do except treat tho fellows
cviily? II u woman keeps up her friend
ship with boarding house Keeper. and ire