San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-01-05
WIT AND WISDOM.


A RHODE Island Justice refused to
marry Il man named Carr 10 ludy of
the same name on the ground that he
was afraid to couple cars,
It's a mean boy, who knowing that
his young man is still in the parlor,
will slip down stairs near midnight and
gaily ring the breakfast bell,
THEY put in evidence of Guiteau's in.
sanity tina the wanted to buy the Chigngo
mter'Ocoap. Scoville is proving HIM
self IN able lawyer. Boston Post.
A NORTHERN paper speaks of young
farmer who ran rapidly through his
property" His property was an open
lot. He wore red shirt, and "A mad
bull was in the wake of the young farm
er.-Nelo Orleans PicayuIie.
AN Aberdeen writer has APPLY re-
marked. Take company of boys chas-
ing butterflies, put long tailed coats on
the boys, and turn the butterflies into
half.crowns, and you have fine piano.
rama of the world.
BRIDGET" said the mistress to her
servant, put a little nutmeg in the Gus
tard this afternoon" And Bridget
picked out the smallest nutmeg She
could find and threw it in the custard.
where it was found entire at the evening
meal.
AN advertisement in New York pa.
per reads: "Wanted-A composition;
one who uses neither tobacco nor rum"
So it would appear that in some cities
compositors actually use these vile
things 1t doesn't seem credible
NO4riStOlUn Herald.
SAINT this little high?" asked q
timid tenderfoot of u Deadwood tavern
keeper who had charged him 81 80 for
his dinner. at may be little high"
replied the host, fumbling with the
handle of a revolver in the cash drawer,
"but need the money" He got it..
In couple of hundred years from
this, if the Bible is again revised to suit
the times, the passage in the parable of
the ten virgins, which reads thus :"Give
us of your oil, for our lamps have gone
out will be changed to, GIVE us of
your electric lights, for our circuit is
Temporarily broken. "--Somerville Jour-
nal.
DAVID Davis is economical. 1t is
said that he saves 1921 out of $l25 worth
of stationary that q senator is allowed
for his use. This is right and proper.
We have respect for man who doesn't
use much paper, provided he doesn't
write on both sides of the Sheet
Lowell Citizen.
DIR, Risley of Philadelphia, speaking
of the condition Of the eyes of school
children, says: "Hypermetropic eyes
are more numerous than both myopic
and emmetropic: that next to myopic
astigmatism, distinct LESSONS are most
prevalent in eyes with hypermetropic
astigmatism. From this it appears that
"the eyes have it"-but what it is they
have is a conundrum to us, and we re-
greet that they have it.-Norristoaom
Herald.
JONES was sitting on the front steps
the other night, waiting for his sweet
heart to come out. She knew what
time to come, and Jones didn't wish to
ring the bell for fear of alarming the
old folks. Presently he heard the
door open and the old man muttered
something about somebody's being "too
fresh" DO you address yourself to
me?" said Jones, springing up with q
flashing eye. no." said the old gentle
man, mildly, II was speaking OF the
paint on the steps. 1t was put there
this afternoon" Jones clapped his
hand to the spot, and, realizing the
force of the old gentleman's remark
reached his room in five minutes
Carson City appeal.
The japanese make paper to initiate
leather, in which the surface has every ap-
pearance of a finished skin. with extraordi-
nary frmness and elasticity, and it can be
subjected to washing without any injury
from the water. These peculianties are not
so much due to the superior quality of the
material, as to the mode of manufacture, the
surfaces remaining intact, even when the
paper is very thick, while with us paper of
tkis kind soon looses its frmness, and the
grain Is impaired. japanese leather paper
is make extensively at Flangawa, near Yed-
do, the capital of the empire.
THE oldest newspaper IN the world is pub
lished in Pekin. 1t is printed on a large
sheet of silk, and, it is said, has made a
weekly appearance for upwards of a thous-
and years.