Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-13
Why Patti Gets Two Hundred Guineas.

A Dutch farmer, who suffered from
pain in his side which no advice could
cure, was advised as last hope to try
and get at the famous Boerhave, who
would help him if human help was pos.
sible. The farmer, n wealthy man, put
his big diamond ring on his fore finger,
put his high hat, reserved for solemn oc.
casions only, on his head, and off he
went to the great doctor Rather stupe.
, fled with the number of people who
had come with the same idea as he had
namely, to consult the doctor-and
whom he considered as intruders, he had
to wait his turn till he was summoned
into the presence of the great man, who
seemed to take very little notice of his
silver buttons and diamond ring.
"What is the matter with youp' asked
the doctor. II have great pain in my
side," replied the patient, land nobody
can help me-" "How old are youph
"Fifty-two." "Have you got two golden
guineas in your pocket" Certainly,
and more. :" IL don't want to know
that; put down your two guineas on the
table-that is my fee. The farmer
having submitted to the inevitable, the
doctor went on to ask: ''Now tell me
exactly, where is the precise spot
where this pain bothers you?"
"Here, Just above the thigh"
"Whcn does the pain mostly inconven.
fence youp' "At no fixed time, but the
moment l touch it in the slightest way,
it seems a singing pain all over me-"
"Does it prevent your sleepingP" mo,
l sleep very soundly." e How is your
appetizer First rate" And when
you walk several hours does it iuconven-
fence your 4" No, not that know Of"
But when you touch it with your hand
or otherwise, it hurts your " 1t does
most decidedly" "Well then, this is
what you must do-you must not touch
itr'
You may think this very funny, and
perhaps unfair to have to pay two gum.
cas- for such advice. Yet it is evident
that number of physicians would have
given much less logical advice, and
would have hestated to show this man
that he was, what so many people are, a
ntdldde insagtnaire. But the man went
away, told the story to everybody, was
laughed at, but he never complained
again. He was cured of his mania.
have often heard people express surprise
that Madame Patti should be paid two
hundred gnineas for singing two airs.
But, in the first place, the announcement
of her name draws more than the money
she receives, otherwise she would not
receive il; and then it is not the present
exertion, but the fame acquired by a
whole life of patient work, which is paid
for. When you go to q great physician
and he looks at you, and his genius and
his long practice enables him instantly
to make correct diagnosis, to put his
finger exactly on the cause of your suf-
fering, it is not the two minutes trouble
to write the prescription which you pay
for, but the forty years practice and
keen observation which enable him to do
so.
It happened once to myself that lady
of rather high position asked me to play
for those very popular terms-for
nothing. Ofcourse declined the honor.
But It costs you nothing to sit down
for few minutes" said the lady, land
you would do SO much good and give SO
much pleasure"
us that so, my ladyp" l said. "In
that case l will send my instrument and
chair, an your ladyship can sit down for
few minutes and do all that good"
30, but L." said the lady, ''play so in.
differently; and moreover have not
name to draw an audience"
"And II |, as you are kind enough to
say, have the talent which others have
not, and 1 have worked twenty-five
years to make myself name which
might have little prestige for an au-
dience, is itnot fair that l should have at
last some reward for so much troubleP"
therefore think, IL a man is some
body he ought to know 1t. "Nur Limpe
Sind besoheiden," says Goethe. ("Oniy
nobodies are modest. Temple Bar.