The Red Cloud chief., 1882-02-09

IDpTp j. pfEUdID, Ho ont ObJtet hi AZ"
ture which brings TO woman so much
trouble and vexation as her scissors.
Five per cent. of married women quar-
rel with their husbands and thirteen per
cent. of all women quarrel with their
best female friends over the question:
l. the word scissors singular or plural?
When the hurried husband. anxious To
cut the ragged edges Of his wristbands
before going to his business. cries out 10
his wife: Gimme that scissors and
she calmly replies: You should say
those scissors my dear" the peace Of
the household is threatened; and when
the wifc's most intimate friend SAYS 10
her: Il notice YOU always say those
scissors but Charles tells me tina, YOU
should say that scissors. the reply
cuts asundcr the friendship Of many
years.
The chief trouble caused bv scissors i
not. however. due To their disputed
grammatical rank. Ii arises from the
frequency with which they are lost.
There is no domestic ariicle-not ycn
the tack-hammer. the bed-wrcnch "
the cork-screw-which disappears 50
constantly a. does the scissors. Not a
day passes in any industrious house
hold without at least one prolonged
search for the scissors. t~UrioGSly
enough, it is always discovered by the
one who wants the scissors that some
one else has wickrdly ar carclrS>ly mis-
laid them. MARY. YOU had my sci>-
sorS last: now where are they or.
Susan. YOU didn't rive me back my
scissors this morning; what did You do
with them are remarks which in sub
stance are heard in min" houses out of
ten every dav in the wear. OF the >hy
and vicious WAYS Of scissors and their
pronencSs 10 conceal themselves littl.
note is taxed by the scarch"r, and her
first and uniform impulse is To assume
that her children. her mother. her sister
or her visiting friend has wantonly lost
the scissors.
II is, nevertheless. well known that
scissors lose themselves purppSelv. either
through unconqucrablc shyncsS or in
practicable yiciouSncSS. Many m
taking pattern by the habit which some
men have of labelling their dogs with en-
graved collars, try 10 insure the safety
Of their scissors by attaching Ia them
long red or blue ribbons. The plan i a
useless one. even in the ease of the dogs.
II is assumed that when Il dog has wan
dcrcd from home and forgotten both his
master name and residence. he will
twist his head over his shoulders and re-
fresh his memory by reading the in>crip-
ton on his collar. after which he will
gladly seek his home. Even Were it
possible for n dog 10 50 twist his head aS
Ia read what is engraved on his collar
a feat which any ana;omiSt will declare
To be impoS>iblc-it does not follow that
the dog would instantly he Smittcn with
a desire To 30 home. Facts prove that
dogs with engraved collars lose them
selves nj least As frequently aS other
DOGS, and that the collar i of no sort Of
use except a. an ornament. Equally
useless is the custom of tying Il piece of
ribbon To Il pair of scissors. Were the
ribbon attached To a ring in the wall, 1t
would. of course, keep the scissors in
confinement-that is. if it were strong
enough-but as il is. the scissors simply
carry the ribbon with them into hiding.
Cases have been knuwno of scissors which
have concealed themselves in holes, into
which they have carefully drawn every
inch of their accompanying ribbons. and
il is simply wonderful that women
should still cling to the dcluSion that
ribbon prevents the loss Of scissors in the
face of the countless demonstrations that
it does nothing of the kind.
1t i the belief of the best scientific
men that scissors find the light very
painful. and bury themselves under
beds and behind articles of furniture in
order To avoid the light. The justly
famous Prof. Nasmythc. of Chicago,
asserts that on u occasion he sur
| priScd 4 whole school of scissors in the
act of conccaliny themselves. The
scissors in question, Of which there
were six, belonged to Mrs. NaSmythe,
and had been left by her. on retiring TO
bed. in her work-basket in the back
parlor on the first floor of the house.
The Professor. IN the evening in queS-
ton. had been attending the meeting
of a scientific club. and. returning home
late at night. discovered the six scissors
stpalthily ascending the third-stnry
stairs on their way To the attic. They
moved silently or their points and with
their handles in the air. and when he
caught them and placed them for safe
keeping in his bureau drawer they re-
manned perfectly motionleSs. They
were found in the drawer the next
morning. and Mrs. Na>mythc does not
Vet know how they anne there.
Having thus discovered that scissors
move by alternately advancing their
points. the Professor has invented Il va
riety of scissors which he claims cannot
move. The two blades are made pre-
ci>ely alike. each having 4 double edge.
and ere put together with 4 spring clasp.
When not in Use. the blades are Sepa-
rated. and asncithcr blade can move by
itself any more than n one-lcgged man
can walk-neithcr can u away. Three
months ago he provided Mrs. NaSmythe
with twelve interchangeable blades. not
n of which has eve been missed 80
long Is the blades were separated when
laid in the workbaSket. One pair of
blades was, however, c~arelcS>lv laid
down while fastened together. and dis
appeared in the course of the day : ~
completely that not a trace of either of
the blades has eve since been found.
The security against loss which the new
STYLE of scissors thus gives will neceS-
Sarily make them very popular. and
Prof. Nasmythe. who has patented his
invention, will grow rich in money and
in the gratitude Of countless thankful
women.-N. y. Times.