Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-09-02
Rustic Authorship.

IEor The St. Louis Republican,

lFor the st. Louis Republican,
Inc books a failure. Mary June, my hearts q
chunk OF lead, p.
l've just heard from the editor, and this ia wba
he said:
'Dear sir-Your manuscript to hand. As We
can't use such stuff,
We nust with many thanks decllne.' INV
soodncss, uin't I that roughly
'You ask us if we'd criticise. thing We rarely
We waive our rules on ce more however am,
candidIy tell you
That though rou have some talent IN the way OF
splliIng INK,
Your forte is more directly with the plough
handle We think -
Now ain I that COOL now amt It lust too inter.
u lUo-tUo!
II Ph th't villain. Mary Jane, dye know what
would do?
I'D pound him I'LL he danced and howl.d I'd
stretch hs nose anu ears.
Until he couldn't read u lInc for ninety -thou,-
ami years.
To think that .EIoody- Handed Jack, the West
rrn bandit ChIcI,'
Should lail to he uccri,tel Is uln,oal hryond
belief;
A snap for all the editors!-I wouldn't give u
wink
For what they know OF uuthOrshp-they re a
set vi dolts. think.
This, this. after l've sat awake for weeks far in
the night
10 get the pot, the characters. the dialogue, all
right,
With head hall bursting. fingers cramped. nor
Or hearts Tor any other thing. nor in my p,lrs. a
dime.
If this's the wav the thing results. we'll have
to starve; guess,
But with those editorial fools warmly must
confess.
don't by any means agree; the fault is theirs,
not mine;
know Pye genius, and still will fight it on
Hello! what's this =? that bra,nless goose has
,, scrawled my i'aper DER
Win nntes! says he: Ill you've not noticed
It before,
You'll learn by careful re-reading. you've
worked your hero OF
Just nine llnics In Ch ptera-irst h, ul.s nj
whooping Cough,
Once is pierced through with poniard keen,
twice with u short sword s slain.
Then finished Is with poi On, then laid out with
Il cane;
Next he ,uccuinbs to smallpox next Inv bri
w San,is ID run through,
The" madly tunes and Stays himself, his pros
pecis looking blue.
Lastly he meets Il dreadful end-lhe end nj,
boots l pair!
welded with great ability by him whose d daugh-
Ter far
Loves nmi distracteiIy, despite Stern ,.n.,
Iruwn.
Ana She. poor Thing, takes arsenic and lays her
Young lille down.
IL seems quite harl That your hero eight times
should part with breath,
In happily varied style anu then be harslIy kick
e,t 10 death.
NOW please bear In mind, dear sir, a man in nat
ucat. ~ " "'
Has not nine lives, but only one, and after
you've spoiled that,
lie ought bona file corpse to he un less a n,sn
gu Dave. rs Ne some iiterlteurs In Il, I,,,, IN
lie your man! 's :"
You've failed this thing 10 do, howe'er with
sa.lne-s b. il said, '' WI"
With other things which might have caus., vour
novel TO b: read '"'
So 1t must die and wing Its flight to that far
sombre land " '""' iai'
Where ''unappi eciated'' books and uu,bor.
take their stand; 'i'iS
And this another demise will infiict ,,..r or
you see, oi'
On your much murdered hero-..Resouisc,i H.
peace.'' II"
We'll. Mary Jane. am the fool-the editor ia
right '"i 10
I'll fling away my ink and pens and ouit ,his
very night; f"'' ''''e
III gfnsp ~spn the graceful plow handle. tickle the
1t Fame is shy, we'lI have u good ta,,are ivi,g
from our toll. ''As
st Louis, Mo.