The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-01-14
INTENSELY UTTER.
Eject OF Culture on an .Esthetic Daueh
ter and q Superiative Practical Pa.

Eject OF Culture on IN Esthetic Daugh-
ter and Superiative Practical Pa.
A few months ago the daughter of a
Rockland man, who had grown comfort
ably well off in the small grocery line,
was sent away to "female school,"
and last week she arrived home for the
holiday vacation. The old man was in
attendance at the depot when the train
arrived, with the old horse in the deliv-
cry wagon, to convey his daughter and
her trunk to the house. When the train
had stopped bewitching array of dry
goods and a -brimmed hat dashed
from the car and flung itself into the
elderly party's arms.
"Why, you supcrlative pa !" she ex-
claimed "I'm so utterly glad to see
you -
The old man was somewhat unnerved
by the greeting, but he recognized the
sealskin cloak in his grip as the identi-
cal piece Of property he had paid for
with the bay mare, and he sort of squat
it up in his arms, and planted a kiss
where it would do the most good, with
report that sounded above the noise
OF the depot. In 4 brief space Of time
the trunk and its attendant baggage
were loaded into the wagon, which was
soon humping over the nubbles towards
home.
"Pa, dear" said the young miss,
surveying the team with a critical eye,
"do you consider this quite excessively
beyond1"
"Hey1" returned the old man, with
puzzled look "quitc excessive be-
yond what ? Beyond Warren I con-
slider il somewhat about ten miles beyond
Warren, countin' from the Bath way,
il that's what you mean ?'
"Oh, no, pa, you don't understand
me" the daughter explained al mean
this wagon and horse. Do you think
they are soulful Do you think they
could be studied apart in the light of
symphony, or even 4 simple poem, and
appear as intensly utter to one on return.
ing home as one could express ?"
The old man twisted uneasifs in his
seat and muttered something about he
believed il used to be used for an ex-
press wagon before he brought it to de-
liver pork in, but the conversation ap-
peared to be travelling in such a lonesome
direction that he fetched the horse a re-
sounding crack on the rotunda, and the
severe jol,ing over the frozen ground
prevented further remarks.
"Oh, there is that lovely and con-
summate ma !" screamed the returned
collegiatess as they drove up at the door
and presently she was lost in the embrace
OF mothcrly woman in spectacles.
"Well, Maria," said the old man at
the supper table, as he nipped piece
Of butter off the lump with his own knife,
IAN how d, you like your school ?"
"Well, there, pa, now you're shou-
! mean, consider it far too beyond,
replied the daughter. '.It is unquench-
ably inefable. The girls are so sump-
tuously stunning-I mean grand-so
exquisite-so intense. And then the
parties, the balls, the rides-oh, the
past weeks have been one Of sublime
harmony"
al s'pose SOL s'pose so," nervously
assented the old man, as he reached for
the third cup, "half-full," "but how
about your books-reading, writing,
rule o. three-how about them l'
"Pa, don't!" exclaimed the daughter,
reproachfully. "The rule Of three
grammar II is French and music and
painting and the divine in art that has
made my school life the bos-I mean
| that have rendered il one unbroken flow
Of rhythmic bliss-incomparably and
exquisitely all but"
The grocery man and his wife looked
helplessly at each other across the table.
After lonesome pause, the old lady
said:
"How do you like the biscuits, Nary"
"They are too utter for anything"
gushed the accomplished young lady,
"and this preserve issimply poem
in ITSELF"
The old man abruptly rose from the
table and went out Of the room, rub
bing his head in dazed and benumbed
manner, and the mass convention was
dissolved. That night he and his wife
sat alone by the stove until late hour,
and at the breakfast table the next morn
ing he raped smartly on his plate with
the handle Of his knife and remarked:
"Mary, me an your mother have been
talkin' the thing over, and we've come
to the conclusion that this boarding
school business is too utterly utter all
but too much nonsense. Me an her
consider that we haven't lived sixty odd
consummate years for the purpose Of
raisin' curiosity, an there's goin' to
be a stop put to this unquenchable fool
ishness. Now, after you've finished
eating that poem Of fried sausage an
that symphony Of twisted doughnut,
you take an dust up stairs in less'n two
seconds, an peel off that fancy grown
an put on a caliker, an then come
down here an help your mother wash
dishes. want il distinctly understood
that there amt goin'd to be no more
rhythmic foolishness in this house, so
longs your superlative pa an your love-
ly and consummate ma runnin' the
rancho. You here me, Mary"
Mary was listening.
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