davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28
What the Zulu King Saw In London.
Bells Life in London.

Cetewayo was disappointed at sight of
Mr.. Gladstone, having expected TO see
him in his war paint, his head surmoun-
ted with a tuft of feathers. and string of
glass beads around his neck He wanted
to know why the prime minister did not
occupy the speakers seat and nurse the
mace upon his knee He took great
fancy to the gilded bauble, and said that
if he were king he would himself preside
over the deliberations of the commons,
and when the Parnellites obstructed
busin ,ss he would correct them with the
mace.
Cetewayo mistook the occupants of the
ladies' gallery, come to It. Stephens to
hear the debates, for q select contingent
of the speakers wives, and the speaker
he mistook for the prime minister and
the speakers chair he mistook for the
queens throne, and the speakers full
bottomed horsehair wiz he mistook for
that august tunctionary's own hyacin-
thine locks
When the dusky monarch was assured
that the right honorable the speaker has
only one wife he appeared puzzled at
what seemed 10 him strange want of
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

1t has long been the boast of the Hun
garians that in their race are found the
most beautiful women in Europe. a prize
inscribed "to the iairest," offered at the
late peoples festival in Buda-Pesth, drew
$50 competitors and created atremendous
sensation. The judges had a hardly
easier task than Paris, when called on TO
decide between the charms of the rival
goddesses. The $50 passed before them.
one by one, and were afterward placed
side by side, in line. Ten were at last
selected, and from among them the two
loveliest were set apart for the first and
second prizes. The final choice for the
most beautiful was girl Of l6, the daugh-
ter of an official in the royal palace. She
is described as possessing "a charming
transparent complexion, melting brown
eyes, a small mouth, rich dark-brown
hair, and form of youthful grace" But
still, her features are not wholly regular
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

An English statistician, Pro. Leone
Levi, has figured ont the comparative
personal expenditures of all classes in
the United Kingdom on necessaries and
luxuries, and found that while the upper
and middle sets spend SO per cent of their
spendings on necessaries and ID per cent
on luxuries, the divisions by the work
ing people is, necessaries 80 per cent, lux
uries 20 per cent. Such statistics are not
worth very much, because the date for
generalization are sufficient, and because
no uniform line can be drawn between
"necessaries" and luxuries." So far as the
figures 90, however, they warrant the
conclusion that the lover classes are
more short-sighted in their expenditures
than those who have seen more and
know more. Working people are more
likely to be i'll fed and uncomfortably
clothed than those better off in the world,
and every shilling which the farmer
takes from necessaries to bestow on lux
uries subtracts shilling's worth from
their power of endurance, and therefore
from the national wealth. But Prof. Levi
concludes that the bulk of income of the
people is productivity expended, in spite
of folly and waste. He says that of late
years the proportional expenditure for
neccssaries has increased, that the people
of the Kingdom, as whole live better
than ever before, and that they were
never so well housed and clothed.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

"Do YOU take this woman foryour we'd
ded wife, etc?"
"Yezzer"
"Do you take this man for your we'd
ded husband, etc?"
nix for sthay"
"By the authority vested in me ! pro-
nounce YOU man and wife,"
This is the way they marry in Dansville
sometimes, according TO the Advertiser.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

Mr.. Kasson has introduced a bill to re-
lieve raw materials from duty. Coming
as this does, just in the oyster season, the
young man whose girl dotes on the BIZ
valves will greet the news with unboun-
ded enthusiasm
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

The well-prescrved coffin of man who
died in 1902 was found the other day be-
meath the chancel Of one of the oldest
churches in Eastern England. Even the
initials, 'E. H." We're discernible. 1t is
nothing unusual to come across fragments
of the remains of men and women when
excavations about or under churches are
made, but it is infrequently that the
burial cases are found intact after the
lapse of 2s0 years. The rector took pains
to look up the history of "E. H." in the
records, and found that the name was
Edward Hobart. He had been a church
warden, and a nabob in the community.
The most interesting thing about the
affair, however, was the light which it
threw on the careful English habits of
preserving church and other records. The
old documents revealed not only the
identity of the former owner of the rat
Ting bones, but also the dates of his birth
and marriage, the names of his children
and numerous other family facts.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

The great French railways employ wo-
men as ticket and audit clerks. Various
banks and public companies are also Civ
ing positions to women and the city of
Paris expects to employ women in its
offices.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

about, but the engineers have come TO the
conclusion that their use is impracticable.
The same thing is true of electricity.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

ANSWER THrs.-Is there's person living
of the stomach, liver, or kidneys that
Hop Bitters will not cure?
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

For eighteen years clock in the house
Of W. ID. Mullin, of Delaware City, Del, =,
has not run or made sound, when on
Tuesday il struck one as the family sat
own at supper and then struck eight
: nd has since been silent.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

\ New York physician gives half a
dozen reasons why Americans grow bald.
Ii appears that the principal reason is
because their hair comes out.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

"lf it were customary in this country 10
confer titles upon individuals of rank in
literature" asked shallow but conceited
young journalist of an old one. "what
would l be?" Barren of Ideas" was the
answer
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

SO successful has been the operation of
solar engine during a late fete at the
Tuileries that a Parisian correspondent
recommends the introduction of similar
apparatus for practical use in Egypt and
India.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

There are plenty of receipts for making
lobster salad but none for preveng il tin
from giving you the night mare.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

Facts and Garden Notes
poorly-ventilated stables are hotbeds
of disease,
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

Many singular creatures are known to
science, but probably none of the lower
animals have more remarkable method
of securing prey than the chaetodon, a
beautiful japanese fish. Seeing a fly
lighted near the surface of the water,
this fisN gently approaches and with un-
erring aim projects drop Of water at the
unsuspecting insect, knocking it from its
perch, when il is easily secured.
what is the key to this great mystery
of death? Z" solemnly inquired the orator,
pausing impressively. And the thin man
on the front seat, who had been coughing
all the evening, huskily replied that il
must be a skeleton kew.
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

There are about five thousand habit
ual laudanum drinkers in Philadelphia,
The Osceola times., 1882-10-28

Mrs Muller. 40 the gossips say.
fiirted in quite shameless way
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
How to Manage a Fern Table.

Very few Towering plants can be sue
cessfully grown, for any length of time,
in town rooms, without the aid of pro-
fessional gardener; but the house in
which ferns will not grow, with very
little care, must be looked upon as in an
unfavorable condition for human life
either the surrounding atmosphere must
be bad or the house atmosphere has be-
come vitiated, from some cause Or other {;
probably from want of sufficient sun
or from insufficient ventilation, both of
which are necessary to carry off the gas
and breathing refuse, which is so inju-
rious to both animated and vegetable
life.
Many persons say that after taking
the trouble to bring home good fern
roots from the woods they can not get
them to root in the pots. This, in most
instances, arises from the fact that the
roots are taken out of the ground in the
wrong way, and are likewise planted in
the wrong way.
In lifting fern-root, be sure to cut
good knot of the soil in which it grows
along with it, and take care to disturb
root-fbers as little as possible.
If the plant can not-as is often the
case-be ported the same day in which
it is taken from the ground, place it in
q shallow dish, with little water, until
convenient to pot. Be sure not to put
too much water in the dish, as this will
loosen the earth from the fibers of the
root, and a period of decay will proba-
bly, be the result. If a dish is not avail
able, damp the earth well, and roll it up
in paper.
In potting the plants, first of all, make
a good drain in the bottom of the pot,
with small pieces of broken tile, stone,
or pieces of sand. Then place over this
some good, fresh mold; stand the root
in the middle of the pot, and, pressing
the root gently downward, fiji in the
vacant spaces underneath and around
it, leaving about an inch from the edge
of the pot, and taking special care not
is the part from which the leaves or
planting, a good drenching with water
and if the plants are kept out of a strong
ter. By following the above simple
plan we find the plants root quickly.
and seldom, or never, lose any of their
freshness by the change. Do not let the
pots be too large; if so, the roots will
struggle, and the fronds will be small.
Do not beat the earth down in the pots,
but leave it free and crumbly.
A window facing the south or west is
the best for ferns. The general belief is
that ferns do not like the sun, but they
do like both air and warmth.
Many Turntables are below the level
of the window, and in these cases the
plants do not thrive well; the heat gives
vitality to the roots in natural way,
beside absorbing superfuous moisture,
which would, otherwise, sour at the
roots of the plants and hurt them. The
fern-table should be on level with the
window-sill. We will add that plants
grown without cover of any kind are
much more vigorous and healthy than
those in Wardian cases, or under bali
glasses. Godey's Ladies' Book.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
HOME AND FARM.

Keep sheep dry under foot. This is
even more necessary than roofing them.
Never let sheep stand or lie in mud and
water.
Trees that are mulched are al
WAYS in danger of being injured, during
winter, by mice, if no efforts are made
to prevent them; so are trees that are
surrounded by grass and weeds.
To Color Switch-Boil it in strong
tea-cheap-in which put six rusty
nails. When quite dry drop little
pure glycerine between your palms and
gently stroke down the switch.
--Doughnuts-Take two cupfuls of
eggs, two teaspoonfuls of soda, two ts
blespoonfuls of melted lard; add flour
till stiff enough to roll out.
-Souse-Clean pigs feet and ears
thoroughly, and soak them a number
of days in salt and water; boil them
tender. pour boiling vinegar over them,
and spice to your taste. They are good
fried, and will keep all winter.
The number of living horned cat
tie exported, chiefly to England in the
year ending June 80. 1881, was 1876, 707,
valued at S14, 1904, 1903; being an excess
over the previous year of 1881 in num-
Der and S959,908 in value, and almost
100000 in value above the year 1879.
-Stewed carrots are far more nour-
ishing and economical human food
than is generally known, and they
should not be mainly left for animals.
Scrape the roots, chop into small
pieces, and stew in water until very
tender. They may be seasoned with
-four and butter sauce-an the better
with cream added-and in various 9TH
er ways. Some like them made
piquant with dash of cayenne.
can Agriculturist.
-Mince-meat.- till very tender
good quality of lean beef, and when cold
mince very fine. To one quart of the
chopped meat, add half this quantity of
chopped suet, three pints of chopped
apples, one pound of raisins, two pounds
of currants, one nutmeg, one tablespoon
full of cloves, cinnamon and allspice to
taste, one teaspoonful of salt, one tea
spoonful of pepper. one quart of cider,
and one pound of sugar. Mix the ap-
Piles, meat and suet together; boil the
other ingredients, and pour the hot
liquid over the mixture.
The Hampshire sheep is a large.
bodied, short-wooled, black-faced sheep,
hardy, prolific, and easily kept. 1t is,
no doubt, preferable to the Cotswold
for mutton, having better meat and
more like the Southdown in quality and
flavor, this excellence being derived
from the share of Southdown blood
which it possesses. But any sheep of
English breeding will deteriorate in this
country unless the English method Of
feeding is pursued. This consists main
ly of pasturing upon luxuriant grass and
sowed green crops in the summer, and in
feeding upon turnips, rutabagas, or
mangels, with grain and oil-cakes, and
hay and straw in the winter. Here
some persons take these sheep and pas
ture them upon light, weedy meadow,
without shade, in the summer, and give
them only hay in the winter, and seem
to be surprised that their pet sheep, pur-
chased in fine condition at high price,
do not keep up to their first estate. The
sheep is not to blame, but the manage
ment
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

A representative Of the Lynn (Mass.) ITEM,
IN late ramble throughout that city, gath
cred, among other scraps of interest and infor-
nation, the following: The first place visited
by the reporter was the fruit store of Mr.. J.
Levett, No. 81 Market street, in response to a
rumor that tho proprietor had been cured of
the rheumatism by the great remedy. Mr..
Levett not being in, the reporter had talk
with his son. Mr.. Levett stated that his ia
ther had been cured Of an exceedingly bad at
tack of rheumatism by the St. Jacobs Oil. He
had the disease in his right arm and shoulder,
which became perfectly helpless after being
affected q few hours. His pain was SO great
that he could not rest in comfort or attend to
business with any degree of satisfaction. Aft
er enduring this sort of thing for some time,
he purchased bottle of the Great German
Remedy and began to apply it. He did not
mince matters at all, but just used the Oil for
all it was worth. After pursuing this mode
Of treatment for three days the pain was BAN
ished and his father was in perfectly healthy
condition. he has never since felt any rheu-
matte pain.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
Winter Care of Laying Hens.

There is no portion of the year that
laying hens require so much care as
during the months of November, Deem
Der and January, nor is there any por-
ton of the year that they will make so
good returns for care bestowed; in fact,
if well cared for during these months,
by one who understands the business,
they will produce more clear profit than
during the remaining nine months of the
year; this is because eggs always COM
mand very high prices during the late
fall and early winter months. One
dozen of eggs will sell for more at
Christmas time than three dozen in hot
weather, while the cost of keeping is
but trif1e more. Successful growers
of roses for market treat their plants so
as to secure flowers at season when
they will sell for the most money; and
successful producers of eggs will man.
age their f1ocks of hens so as to secure
eggs at q season when prices are the
highest. One of the methods adopted
to secure this, is to raise chicks SO early
in the spring that they will begin to lay
in the autumn before cold weather sets
in; this accomplished, by furnishing
good quarters, and feeding intelligently
they will lay with great regularity
throughout the winter, but to neglect to
give them good quarters, and feed them
well, results in stopping them from lay
ing as soon as cold weather sets in.
As soon as the ground is covered with
snow close attention must be given to
laying hens; they must not only have
all they can eat, but it must be in great
variety, and of character to supply as
nearly as possible what they get when
running at large in the summer. Chop
ped rowen, or cabbage, should be given,
to take the place of grass, and small
quantity of fresh meat, in place of in
sects which they get in summer and au-
tumn. A constant supply of fresh earth,
including fine loan and gravel, should
be kept by them, where it will not
freeze. The food should be given with
great regularity, and should be COM
posed of a great variety; such as corn,
wheat, rye, barley, oats, buckwheat,
millet, boiled potatoes and other vege-
tables. No one of these should be given
in quantities so large that they will not
be eaten up clean. In cold weather the
water given them should be warm. A
yard with tho snow shoveled out of it
should always be provided. that the hens
may stand in the air and sunshine
in pleasant weather.-Massachusetts
PsouQh7adz.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

"A widow, working in one of the
shops at Bridgeport, Conn, received
the money which had been invested in
an insurance policy on her husbands
life, and proceeded to purchase with it
a matrimonial prize by going round to
several places and offering an induce
ment of $50 and a gold watch and chain
to any one who would marry her. At
one place the offer was promptly ac-
cepted, and the couple were made one
as soon as arrangements could be COM
pleted for the ceremony. The woman
further displayed her energy by ordering
a wedding cake at bakers and divid'
inc it literally with her shopmates.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

Poor shelter, care and feed will, in
a few generations, make scrubs of the
finest thoroughbred stock. Thorough
bred scrubs are little better than native
scrubs, and the farmer who raises eth
er viii always be poor. Breeding the
best stock and keeping it in the best
possible manner pays the largest
profits.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
Our ProgreSs.

completion of railroads, so the huge, drastic,
cathartic pills, composed Of crude and bulky
medicines, are quickly abandoned with the in
PRODUCTION Of DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Purgative
Pellets, (which are sugar-coated, and little larg
er than mustard seeds, but composed of highly
concentrated vegetable extracts. By druggists.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

HORACE B. DICK, ESQ, associate editor OF
the Delapars Co. Republican, Chester, Pa, was
cured by St. Jacobs Oil of very severe injuries
resulting from fall. His arm appeared to be
paralyzed, but the Oil cured him.-P hiladelphid
Ledger.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
Universal Satisfaction.

Universal satisfaction-so every druggist re-
ports about Piso's Cure for Consumption.
Messrs. Groesbeck & Wilkinson, of Har-
ward, His, write: g Your medicine gives uni
versal satisfaction"
L. E. Sandon, of Kirby, Ohio, says: 81 am
selling Piso's Cure. 1t gives satisfaction and
good results"
L. Volkers, of Dennison, Ills, reports that
Piso's Cure sells rapidly and gives good salts
faction.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
CONSUMPTION Cure.

DR.. r. v. PIERCE: Dear Sir-Death washour-
ly expected by myself and friends My ply
sicians pronounced my disease consumption,
and said must die began taking your Dis
covery'' and " Pellets" I have used nine bot
ties and am wonderfully relieved. l am now
able to ride out.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

The "Golden Boom of Youth"
may be retained by using DR.. Pierce's Favor
lite Prescription" specific for $ female COM
plants By druggists.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

1t is not until we have passed
through the furnace that we are made
to know how much dross was in our
composition.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

"WHAT is love! pr asks everybody, and some
body replies: cit is q feeling that you don't
want another fellow foolng around her"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

Lieut.. Schwatka says that one OF
the Esquimaux guides invented the
most Internal traps for wolves ever de-
vised. He covered two keen blades
with blood and set them in the ice. In
licking them the wolves would cut their
tongues, but the cold would prevent
their feeling it. Allured by the taste of
blood, they would continue slicing their
tongues until they bled to death, or died
from the mutilation. The other trap
consisted of long strips of whalebone
rolled together, bound with sinew and
hidden in frozen meat, which after pass
ing into the animals stomachs would
'haw, use the whalebone and kill the
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19
A Surprised Policeman.

"Talk about bold bank burglaries, .
said a member of the police force this
morning, ''the slickest steal ever heard
of was the robbery of bank down in
Rhode Island, six or seven years ago.
1t was bitter cold night, and a night
patrolman noticed dim light in the
bank window, and going up to the door,
raped.
.''Is that you, patrolmanp' asked a
voice from within.
"sYes,' was the reply.
"'Step in and get q heat said the
voice from within. The patrolman
stepped inside and encountered q dap
per little fellow wearing q green shade
over his eyes and pen behind his ear.
"'You're working late tonight said
the patrolman.
"'Yes,' said the dapper little fellow.
Eve been detained tonight straighten-
ing up accounts
1.-The patrolman warmed himself at
the roaring big fire that blazed on the
hearth, and went out again on his beat.
An hour after the patrolman came that
way, and still seeing the light through
the window, raped again.
lis that you, patrolman?'
"sYes.'
"'Come in and warm yourself
"'The patrolman accepted the invita-
ton.
"'It's bowling cold night said the
man with green shade over his eyes,
"'You bet, said the patrolman. So
he took another heat and returned to
his beat. He was rather surprised next
day to learn that his fireside friend of
the night before had got away with some
$50, 200 of the banks funds. ~ Cleveland
Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

A FASHIONABLE belle wishing to be very
severe on a rival said the only thing that
wasn't false about her was the hole III her
stocking.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

"A Hatvkinsville (Ga.) lawyer has in
his hands a mortgage on set of teeth
belonging to a lady in Dooley County.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

FOR DIPnTHEKIA, don't fail to use DIR. l.. E.
TowNE's DIpHTRRKIA KING. The GREAT PKE-
vENTivE and CURE. Sold by all druggists. Nor
rison, P1ummer Il Co., Chicago, Genl Agents.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

HONESTY is the best policy, except when an
acquaintance strikes you for q loan. Then a
little deception often saves cash.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

NEVER give q present with string at
tached to It as If you wanted to keep it, or ex-
pected it to come back again.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

LAzINEss grows on people. It begins in
cobwebs, and ends in iron chains. The more
business man has to do, the more he is able
to accomplish, for he learns to economic his
time. e5
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

If you play with a fool at home, be
will play with you abroad.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-01-19

If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's EyeW ater. Druggists sell it. $50.