Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-09-06
From the New York Times.I
THE ROMANCE or A HAMMER

The ROMANCE OF A HAMMER.
Yes, [ am, [ believe, quite disinter-
ested person, and fairly well known for
both my courage and modesty. [ was
boarding i'll a retired neighborhood in
New York, and next door to me lived, in
a private house, an old lady, with her
granddaughter. Need | say that that
young person was unusually attractive :?
regret to state, however, that any adj
vances on my part in that direction were
met at first with much indifference. OF
course, an acquaintance with the old
lady had to be made, and very queer
old lady was she. With a great many
eccentricities, she had one in particular
which overshadowed the rest. Once her
house had been robbed, 40 years before.
and she had never forgotten it. Though
she was as deaf as post, she assured
me that the least noise disturbed her of
nights, as the dread of robbers was
always on her mind. Whether the
young lady shared her grandmother's
fears or not, did not know [ rather
hoped she did.
If, as I thought to myself, / could
only take advantage of this old woman's
fancies, that might give me an introduce
ton to the house. The old lady was
garrulous, and I very soon scraped up an
acquaintance with her. / had not been
talking with her more than five minutes,
shouting my words into her ears, before
[ preached the subject of robbers. From
my pocket | drew newspaper and read
therefrom In loud tones a long account
of a use-breakiug adventure. / must
confess that Id order to add some point
to the story [ introduced some quite new
facts into the description. For instance
the street in which the robbery took
place was III an entirely different part of
the town from ours, and for it [ substi-
tuted our own immediate neighborhood.
In the original version, however, it was
al old woman who had actually been at
the mercy of the bandits. / howled it
all out, and had the satisfaction of seeing
that 1t had an instantaneous effect upon
the old lady.
Deary mel" said the old lady.
'tTerrble! and we are SO entirely unpro-
tected-two lone womenI''
awful" | replied; and when rob-
bers once get in neighborhood they
never let up until they clean out every
thing. l don't like to tell you, but I
hsve seen some very strange and mys-
ferrous looking fellows-tramps appa-
rently-lounging around here lately"
BLESS US! and am SO deaf and SO
nervous. l am sure I shan't be able to
sleep for weeks. What can [ do?''
81 have an idea, said /. "In what
story OF your house do you sleep ?"
'FSecond story" Then the old lady
described the position of her bed-cham-
Der second story back. Her grand
daughter slept IN the same room.
[ had known that before from care
full reconnaissance [ had made. My own
modest chamber IN the clearinghouse
was on the same floor and our rooms
were continuous, only separated by the
thin party wall.
CHOW, my dear madame, said L, s'I
am going to propose plan of action aor
you, quite simple of its kind. which
ought to relieve you of all anxieties. I
might recommend burglar-proof APP
paratus, with Geographic attachments,
but those are very expensive things to
set up. can manage it all with ham
mer."
GA hammer! exclaimed the old lady,
opening wide her mouth and eyes.
les udnuOIs
S'But I should be so terrified that il
a robber were to break in, L never could
use it; couldn't knock him down with it. ="
The old lady was terribly hustered.
Sc I didn't mean a hammer to be used
as weapon; Oh, dear, no; quite differ
ent from that. Your room in your house
and mine in my house are adjacent, and
the head of your bed is just near mine.
Now, will buy you small hammer,
and all you have to do is to take it to
bed with you At the least noise take
your hammer and give three raps on the
wall. I viii at once understand that by
that is meant precautionary signal.
It's quite as good as any telegraphic ap-
paratrs. I hear the three raps, good. I
wake up at once, and, springing out of
bed, put on my clothes. am prepared
for action, as it were. Then, should
your fears continue.you keep on rap
ping. / understand at once that the
danger is imminent. Then [ seize my
revolver, cock it, rush down stairs,
bound over the fence, and my presence
at once disconceyts the robbers. They
endeavor to escape; I shoot two or
three of them, and you and your charm
ing granddaughter are saved.
cts very dreadful, but quite kind
and thoughtful of you, and SO ingenious.
I do believe that if / knew that some
one was watching for my safety half my
fears would be dissipated. The old
woman really looked quite grateful
$50 you think you could bear me ?" she
asked.