The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1882-05-03
A Rejoinder.
MAsoN CrY, ApIil ISM, l8S2

ed This sudden and unexpected cure,
was the hearty laugh | enjoyed over
the last impious production Of our
openly avowed and confessed Pagan.
A barrel Of ST. Jacobs Oil could not
produce more astonishing effect
Every person you meet declares that
this production is not the eausion Of
a Pagan, no matter how depraved or
situated in mind or intention, but
that it is the composition Of an ele.
plant, and was written with its
trunk. Be that as it may, it is evil
dent to all that the bull. toad which
the openly acknowledged Pagan
stuck into his pocket the day on
which he undertook experiments,
out Of malice and opposition to the
illustrious DR.. Harvey, must have
given him desperately pinching
bite; as since, he is SO surprisingly
changed in his recent experiments
on christianity.
Do you remember, Mr.. Editor, was
it the enchanting poet and profound
naturalist, Doctor Oliver Goldsmith,
that tells US: Whenever you clip the
tail of viper his fangs become
more venomously and heartily i'm
pregnated with poison, and, there
fore, is more cunning and treacher-
Gus in seeking revenge. Yes, ! be.
lieve it was Goldsmith that thus in
forms US. Indeed, ! thought that
some few days ago chopped as much
of this Pagan adder as would suffice
to end his venomous nibbling for one
century, and forever smother his
rattLes and kissing. But he is cold
blooded and lifeless, and hence en-
tirely incapable of receiving any life.
giving nutriment. Notwithstand-
ing he assumes the affectionate craft
of the Serpent in the Garden, when
he says, "Brother Burke" politeness
should render US grateful, but hon
esty is infinitely superior to hypoc-
ricy, and SO we most solemnly pro.
test, and with deep disdain repudi-
ate the appellation under such or
similar circumstances.
We are not allied, neither do we
claim or acknowledge any relation
ship whatsoever, either by consan-
quinity or affinity with modern Pa
gans. Only that the "No Infdel"
publicly and disgracefully declares
his Paganism, | would refer him to
words of the Holy Ghost, which run
thus: Gwen fool, if he will hold
his peace. shall be counted wise, and,
if he close his lips, a man of under.
standing" Well, then, since he is
,by himself declared Pagan, l will
direct his attention to the inimita.
BILE (almos) Pagan Cicero in one Of
his pointed invectives against Mark
Antony. Critics tell US that his
pithy expression so inhamed Marcus
Antonious that it caused him to
have Cicero's brilliant and gifted
tongue cut out, and his oratorical
head stuck up on pillar in the Ro-
man rostrum. 30, 81 tautisses, philoso-
phus pcrman8uisscs." This sentence
may be fairly, honestly, and paraph.
rastically translated thus, without
doing any pathological violence or
injustice to the original.
20 thou monstrous ignoramus, if
thou didst not bray mule like, so ter
rifcally loud in the midst of a civil
zed and intelligent community, thou
wouldst have passed for a Pacific
donkey; but too late, too late for your
own good and the respect due TO civ
ilization and Christianity, you close
your enormously Gaping MOUTH
five lived in barbarian days, we could
afford to make sport with such mer-
ry-andrew; but nova days, thanks
to our cultivation, we are rather en-
lightened and christianized to in
dulge in fantasies with clowns, and
therefore make ridicule of our Holy
and Adorated Christian Religion.
1t is, however, amusing to the non
reflective or serious, to see and know
that our horizon is not without a
ludicrous absurdity, when we see
little biped gifted or so infatuated
with such gigantic monstrosity that
he undertakes 10 storm Gibraltar
with his pop-gun. Such sublimely
ridiculous flights of bewildered i'm.