The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1882-08-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

|
mouse comes.
Judge Lynch and the cyclones
do considerable laying out in the
west.
1t Is easier to suppress the first
desire than to satisfy all that fol-
low it.
Guiteau was evidently sane, but the
people are not sure about some Of the
doctors.
You never hear Of q strike among
astronomers. Their business is al
ways looking up.
Pennsylvania has 'Youngwo-
manstown, and California its Susan
VILE and 'Marysville.'
| BY taking revenge man is but
even with his enemy; but in passing
it over he is his superior.
! Old maids are the neglected oppor-
tunities which mankind refused to
embrace.
Keifer, Hubbell and Butterworth
are having big fight for the posi-
ton of great American ass.
| A wise man will never sit down
more than once on chair that isn't
there.
Can man be a fool and 60 to
heaven? Yes, or else its going to be
powerful lonesome there.
In all this trouble DR.. Bliss has
one consolation. Nothing could be
more healthy than his bills.
A reason given why a piano was
not saved at fire was because none
of the firemen could play on it.
Sleep knits up the raveled sleeve
Of care, but she let's the worn-out
seat of poverty's pants take care of
itself.
A tooth weighing eleven pounds
has been found In Oregon. 1t must
have dropped from an auctioneer's
jaw.
The living skeleton having died,
IL there be no objections Sarah Bern
hardt will step forward to fill the
vacancy.
: A bit of dry cracker is more cflica-
} cious In curing thirst than glass Of
Ice water, but yesniost men will Y.v-
fer beer.
Trouble which to-day looks as big
as milestone may Gre morrow's
sun down shrink to the size Of an ice
cream saucer.
Very few men are great enough to
bear praise, but large number of
us are just small enough to be found
fault with constantly.
A Mormon elder in Salt Lake City
had his thirteen wives photographed
in a group. They made a regular
harem- skarem picture.
The stalwart leaders say they are
going to make bold, aggressive,
campaign. This a hint to the en-
looms TO hire extra barkeepers.
| A drinking man was told by his
physician to hold his breath while
he counted his pulse, but he couldn't
do it. His breath was too strong.
! Our Celtic brethren object to rent.
So do VIC. We don't know Of anything
that looks worse than light pair Of
pants with red flannel shirt back
ground.
An aged colored man in Arkansas
says his 'idee Of de better world Is
whar dar is election goiii' on all dc
time, case den dc white folks is alters
pcrlight.'
A California woman, who confessed
to her husband on her dying bed that
she loved another, was forgiven. Then
she got well, and he is now suing for
divorce.
A baby having four ears has been
born in Illinois. When the child
grows up he will make an excellent
President to listen to the demands Of
Ohio Office seekers.
| Why do they call graduating exar=
cises' commencement Because then
is when the girls commence to set
their traps for the fellows to start
housekeeping with.
| mfr. Smith, said lady at fair.
won't you please buy this bonnet to
present to the lady you love-?
'Twouldn't be right, said Mr.. Smith;
I'm married man.
A man at Birghampton, N. r., has
married four different times, and
married at least $4,000 each time.
It's a great deal safer than stop
ping stage coaches or robbing trains.
Thirty gilded chariots will he a
feature Of the Cars coronation,
which is now announced to take place
in September. The Gear is evident
~ trying to lay over an American
circus.
A Philadelphia man has been
arrested for having three wives.
II he had as much trouble with the
second as old man Christiancy had
he'd have been glad to quit right
there.
A boy paid his first visit to 4 coun-
try school the other day. as q scholar,
and as he come home his mother
inquired: We'll Henry how do you
| like going to SCHOOL, Bully, he
replied, in an excited voice. 4 saw
] four BOYS licked, and ono girl get her