The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-01
ELIZABETH.
BY CHARLES HENRY AuLT.

christian name OF Elizabeth, or its moderI
corruption of Lizzie that did not desplsc i
most cordially? Were echo TO answer, how
surely would the negative be given! Yet thu
word possesses beautiful meaning-ln TIT
: Hebrew, "housc of strength"-and the deri
yation Is as ancient, and quantity, beautifully
significant rs the most precise and critica
young lady could wish. Still, my acquain
lance has been, strangely enough, largely will
those bearing the name ito them altogether
have my finer feelings been extended in more
or less degree), and they have uneXceptionally
rldlculed and denounced 1t sometimes iE un
lsparing terms. Could II be possible that tht
inherited female dread of reptiles has given
an indefinite connection between il and the
lizard? This at least was the bright solution
decided upon as lodged the shadows Of my
homeward walk on balmy spring evening
when |, too, was IN the sprlngtime-os love
We leave this for Others to determine; our
thoughts will be directed TO other matters.
1t is early manifest to the enterprislngly
thoughtful youth, whose mind has fully ma
tured after the usual petty, Puerile love scrapes
that the sooner he settles domestically in life
the better it will be tor his present and future
lEterests. \ moral responsibility OF no mean
| importance is with those who, sound by their
own experiences, strive to dissuade him from
so doing. They reckon not that lnnumerable
brave young hearts and strong wills have sue
cumbed to the manifold temptations to which,
were they married, they would not be exposed.
A man, he he ever so INDECENT, Is always capa'
bic of supporting one other besides himself.
Then let HIM do it If he chooses.
These were my thoughts; these my selfvin'
dications and arguments. Vigorous, seltrely.
and hard, working though was, there was an
abyssal void in my life-l had no one TO love.
| off thar Los 4 on I'm ~
been spent in scfeducatlon and in the weary,
maddening struggle for very existence. My
nature was fast hardening, and change was
urgently required.
After settling down to new position in
western city, with tar prospects rs to the fu
lure, INDUCED in the reasoning on which
have just dilated. She was rich, was not
Her parents would never give their consent to
an unequal marriage, especially when the va
rance was 50 strongly marked. They respect
ed and liked my character, for it was stainless,
and so far as saw they approved of my views
as TO the future. All this knew before had
said word to Lizzie Of love. Night after
night during the period from which dated our
acquaintance had | reluctantly lett her com.
pany and walked slowly homeward, 10th to-
breathed. The dread query was always resent
with her? Or did she merely look on me as
friend9 The last idea haunted me cOntinu.
ally, though did my best 10 prevent il.
She greatly differed from other girls this
embodied, maybe, my reason for loving her.
She was not combination of superficial
knowledge and artificial manners. And inI
her clear, quiet, kind gray eyes could be read
the record of blameless life and kindly wo.
manly feelings.
Year after year had been idealizing; only
now had met that ideal. Many Of her sssO
ciates were far pretter still that intescribableI
charm was absent and the longer dreamed
over 1t the stronger did realize the truth OF
the impression.
But there must be an understanding arrived
at. My brain could not stand the intense
strain of responsible business cares and the
distracting influence of love After lengthy
reasonngs, taking up entire sleepless nights,
l returned from work one evening, dressed
myself carefully, and soon after was marching
determnedly toward the castle Of my tar one
was as usual warmly received, and once we
were alone, after natural hesitation carefully
approached the question. Imagine my intense
delight when had, as | thought, almost OBJ
tanned the acknowledgment Of an answering
feeling! Imagine later the dIsmay and dis.
tress with which learned tina, tor years she
had been the atlianced ot another! In June
com,ng-lt was then January-she would be
married. Bidding her hasty farewell,
rushed from her presence, out OF the house,
out into the wild storm, which was not whit
wilder or more reckless than my own despe-
rate, greistrlcken soul
Slrldng against the slcet and hail, hour
followed hour, my senses taking no note OF
time TILL the approach Of dawn at last warned
me 10 return.
Restlessly tossing about on my bed, with
bursting head and heart, brought no relieving
rest. What could | do? Gradually Dame
Nature, always generous, came with that lie.
thean bam--sleep. And the bltterest pill OF
my liie--it | may use the expressiOn-was
then and there swallowed.
hasty gathering together Of portable
effects, hasty tareweils to amazed friends and
a hurried resignation Of my situation followed,
and | took an eastward.bound tram. Five
days afterwards was in Annapolis, with an
appointment as surgeons mate to United
States frigate then fitting out. Ia ten days
we had sailed, TO do cruising duty on a south
ern station; and the land OF her birth and the
scene Of my heartslckness were far astern.
thanked Heaven for my deliverance; for
was not now removed by distance from pain.
full memories? And would they not be forgot.
ten? "Yes," would answer, but from an IN
ner cell Of my thoughts little responsive
came bubbling up, "No"
My new duties were very easy; there was
abundant leisure a, my disposition, and laying
out on the tar-perfumed deck, in some mystic
rious manner my thoughts would wander
back to her The music Of the ripping wa.
ter breaking against the ships bow sounded
as did her ripping laugh, and the sparkle OF
the clear blue water was the flashing of her
eyes BY vigorous effort of will would
Danish the charm and rumlnate on my appar-
ent carelessness. Why had not ascer.ained
the existence Of an engagements Why had
they not taken the trouble to have given me al
hlnty Then all my distress might have been
IN measure avoided. The longer thought
about my actions the more clear did the unsat
stactory conclusion seem, and my arrant fool.
ishness In daring to love girl who gave me