davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-04-13
An ANXIOUS CAPITALIST.
Els S.,'el. for . Safe Place Il pat Ii,
Wealth.

Last evening little man. dressed
in black and wearing a stovepipe hat
the clothes and tile being seedy-
came respectfully into the editorial
room. He closed the door carefully,
and asked, with much Difference Of
manner, if he might be seated. Re-
celvlng gracious permission, the little
man drew out his handkerchief, wiped
his inRamed and watery eyes, rubbed
his thin hands in and out of each other
and then an ingratiating smile upon
his pale and pinched conntenance.
He was the very ideal of miser.
60 came in to ask" he began in
whisper, looking as if fearful Of being
overheard, and drawing his chair close
up TO the editor, " if you know any
thing of the condition of the Nevada
Bank ?"
mo special information" teplied
the editor,
{" Then you :hlnk it solvsnt-per-
fectly solvent?" demanded the little
man, with intense eagerness.
CERTAINLY"
"Might l ask what its capital IS
its paid up capital?
"Three millions, I believe" said
the editor, beginning to wonder wha,
manner of man had hoated against
him.
"And," continued the man in
black, tugging in nervous excitement
at his thin and Struggling iron-grey
beard, "what's the Nevada Banks
reserve-lts reserve that's what want
to find out?"
Four millions, I think"
"And how is it invested-how is i.
inyested?" He fairly gulped with
eagerness as he glued his eyes upon
those Of the editor ard awaited the
reply:
"In United States bonds"
"Ah," he said, with great sigh
Of relief, "I'm glad OF that. Then"
-hefe he looked around to make
sure there were no listeners" then
YOU think man could safely intrust
his money to it,"
"Why, certainly. There IS no safer
bank in the world. 1t has unlimited
backing"
The little old man chucklsd and
took the editor hand, which he shook
almost gleefully.
"You have done me great favor,
sir" he exclaimed, ga great favor,
and l shall not forget it,
"It bothers you to be sure that
your moneys safe. l suppose, sir"
said the editor, with that respect in
tone and manner which every indc-
pendent citizen instinct,veIy assumes
when addressing wealthy man.
"Well-er-no, not just ye:. The
fact is. " he cried with burst of con-
hdence, "I'm ffty-hve to-day, and
have formed resolution that hence
forth I shall save my money, instead
of spending it, as have done from
my youth up, and have suffered con-
siderable anxiety about where 10 put
my money wien | get it. In point
of fac" he went on, his cadaverous
face beamlng, {" am Just now exces-
sively hard up, and if you f0uM oblige
me, sir, with the loan of dollar until
| am started on my new career you
would lay me under heavy obliga-
ton"
The editor staggered toward the
club IN the corner, but when he turn
ed he was alone.-Virginia City
Chronicle.
An average of from 90 to 100 emf
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-04-13

A gentleman who has been living
in Utah told a Washington reporter
th.t the Mormons had sent $500, 900,
to the capital to be used in bribing
congressman to vote against the anti
polygamy bill, but, alas it came too
late. The same person also stated
that they had two million dollars at
their command, with which to fight
eoch point Of the lav in the courts,
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-04-13
THE EDITORIAL WE."
The Oil City Derrick gives the
above subject a hist as follows:


The Oil City Derrick gives the
above subject hi ist as follows:
"Some people are unreasonably in
quisltlve and curious, especially about
matters thar do not concern them in
the least. For example, here is a
correspondent who makes the startling
revelation that he is a constant read
er of our valuable and influential
paper" and would like to be inform
ed why 1t is an editor or newspaper
writer, when speaking Of himself in
his writings, invariably uses the plural
pronoun 1--WE" instead Of the singular
al"
There are several reasons. Self
preservation is the first law of nature.
1t begins at home, like old Mother
Charity. There is some human ma
ture about an editor, public opinion
to the contrary Notwithstanding An
editor thinks too much of his e" Is"
to wear them in mourning, and there
fore wheE speaking of some slab sided
six footer as a miserable red nosed,
pusillanimous, wife beating snoozer,
he considers 1t the better part of valor
to drop in an occasional eve" This
creates In the mind of the six tooter
the impression that the editorial force
consists of standing army, armed
with deadly "we "apops.
Furthermore, in cases where the
victim comes around to the office to
kill the writer of any particular item,
it is so pleasant to have the guilty
mans identity buried IN the obscurity
of the plural eve" The editor in
chief, the commercial editor, the city
editor, the local editor, the reporters,
the book keepers, compositors, book
binders, jobbers, pressman, devil and
all the delivery boys are thus placed
on common footing, by the little
pronoun "we," and when the enraged
person looks about him and finds how
many homes he would make desolate,
and how many wives he would make
widows and how many children or
phans, by killing off all included in
the little eve" at one fell swoop, he
slckens of the sanguinary undertaking
and turns sadly away, goes to some
bar room, takes a drink, condemns
the paper, prophesies that it is being
run into the ground, and declares that
he will henceforth use his political in
auence to squelch the sheet.
There are other reasons. When no.
ticing marriage or birth "we" i'm
plies that at least box of cigars will
be required to go around.
An editor says 'we" when advising
the president how to conduct his ad-
mlilstration, because the president
might not act on his suggestion if it
was written plain "I."
When telling the minister how to
preach the editor uses we" to induce
the belief that he has just had a con-
ference with all the ex-ministers about
the establishment.
The editor VINO tells the teacher
how to teach says "we" because he
has consulted with his wife about the
matter, and she, having been teach
er few wears before, of course knows
all about it.
owe" is sometimes used because
OF the writer modesty. Most writers
are troubled in this respect.
In short, we Use "we" because no
one man could survive the trials, trib-
ulations and tafFy found about print
shop.
A gentleman who has been living
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-04-13

the Huerfano HfraM is informed
that the family Of Mr.. Robert Linz
coin, secretary Of war, will spend next
summer at La Veta. Mrs. Lincoln,
it will be remembered, is the only
daughter Of Senator Harlan.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-04-13

Philip Cody died recently at Cleve-
land, Ohio. leaving property worth
over 1000, 900. Buffalo Bill VIII
liam F. Cody-is one Of the heilot
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-04-13

Mr.. 4. H. Johnson, Kansas City
man, owns 100, 900 head Of cattle IN
Colombo and New Mexice. t
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
The Painted Caves of Texas.

Mr.. j. Van VIE, informs the reporter
of the San Antonio Express that his
grading forces on the Mexican extension
of the Sunset Railway are now ut Paint
ed Cave; on DEVILS River, or about two
miles beyond. There are three caves at
this locality, all of which are painted,
the figures being buffalos, bears, Indians
with bows and arrows in warlike atti-
tudes, Indians mounted and on the
chase, squaws, etc. The caves have
been tattooed entirely within, and many
of these figures are still in n good state
of preservation. This work was done
by the redmen in years long gone by, as
the oldest white citizens remember these
paintings, and say look very much now
as they appeared thirty and forty years
ago, Indicating the great age of the
paintings. ..-...t.-
Mr. Van VIE has occupied one of
these caves for kitchen and diningroom
purposes. 1t is about forty feet long
and ten feet wide. 1t is approached by
climbing hill, when the cave is enter
ed by the side of the hill. Its mouth is
covered by clusters of vines pendant
from the branches and boughs of a
clump of blackberry trees. In the top
of this cave is a hole, extending to the
surface, through which MIR. Van Vie
has run two stoyc-pipes. Another cave
still, its shape being round, and of ca
pacity to hold seventy or eighty people
is used for storage purposes. The third
cave opens in solid rock bluff, being
about six feet in diameter at the mouth.
and extends backward a distance of
about $50 feet.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
Eggs from Different Breeds of Fowls.

A correspondent. of the Ohio Farmer,
Fanny Field, gives the results of some
experiments and observations, as fol-
lows:
After repeated experiments with the
different varieties, and comparisons with
others who have experimental in the
same direction, / have concluded that
the laying capabilities of the principal
varieties are about as follows:
Light Brahams and Partridge Cechins
eggs, seven to the pound: lay 13o per
annum.
Dark Brahams-eggs,' eight to the
pound; lay 12O per annum.
Black, white and buff Cochins eggs,
eight to the pound; lay 125 per annum.
Plymouth Rock-eggs, B to the pound;
lay $50 per annum.
Houdans-eggs, 8 to the pound; lay
$50 per annum.
La Fleche-eggs, Z to the pound; lay
13O per annum.
Black Spanish-eggs, z to the pound;
lay 13O per annum.
Leghorns-egggs, 8 to the pound; lay
16O per annum.
Hamburgs-eggs, 9 to the pound; lay
$50 per annum.
( Polish-eggs, 8 to the pound; lay 125
per annum.
Bantams 16 to the pound; lay
30 per annum.
regret very much that did not keep
account of the cost of food consumed by
each variety.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
The Mysterious,


He is a man with Il light beaver over
coat on. He drives white horse aad a
top buggy, and all of a sudden he stops
in the middle of the street and looks fix
edly at his horse. In two minutes fifty
people line the curbstone.
''What's the matter?''
''Balky."
A man steps up to seize the bride
and start the horse, but the driver
shakes his head, and motions him
away.
'.Il, bet he's an ugly brute.''
'Of course he is. Look at that wick
ed eye of hisr'
The crowd has now been increased by
fifty, and several vehicles have stopped.
'Any body hurtp'' -.
''No; balky horse.''
''Why doesn't some one whisper in
his ear?'
Four men stepped out to give advice,
but they are hastily motioned back, and
a livery stable man in the crowd OBJ
serves:
eff that horse doesn't kill two or
three men here, Ishall be much mis-
taken"
Three minutes more, and the crowd
numbers two hundred. The man with
the gray horse looks up and down the
street, braces his feet, takes firm grip
on the lines, and softly says, "Come,
Peter" And Peter draws his head,
bangles his ears, and moves off as slow
ly and softly as river of grease.
''What was it?" calls man who has
run four blocks, and is putting like a
whale.
But there is no one to answer him.
The crowd has dissolved like handful
of sugar in a barrel of water. 1t is very
mysterious, and the crowd doesn't enjoy
the climax at all.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
Got the Dollar,


He lectured on Tobacco and its Per-
nicious Effectsr' He told of the discov-
cry of tobaccO-how Sir Walter Raleigh
had water thrown on him by his servant,
who imagined his master was on fire
when he saw the smoke coming from his
mouth. All this and more he told in
graphic terms. He then went on:
Tobacco in its ordinary state-the
plug-is powerful poison. 1t will do
what few other poisOns will do.
''Now, ladies and gentlemen, let me
show you an experiment. L will call
from this audience a boy. We willtake
one who looks as though he never smok-
ed" ''John, come up here" he called
to small boy, who looked the picture
of innocent health, as though the foul
weed had never touched his lips.
''JOhn, did you ever smokeP'
''NO, SIR" John replied, with smile
that was 'schildlike and bland''
'Now, John, you say you have never
smoked. I'll give you a dollar if you
will take this piece of tobacco rs large
as pea, put it in your mouth, and chew
it. Don't let one drop go down your
throat; spit every drop into the spittoon,
but keep chewing-don't stop, but chew
steadily"
''NOw, gentlemen. before he is done
with that piece of tobacco as large as n
pea, simply squeezing the juice out of it
without swallowing one drop, he will
lie there in Il cold, death-like perspira-
ton. You will put your fingers on his
wrist and find no pulse; and SO he will
seem for two and three hours"
Innocent-looking John took a seat in
q chair and having the spttOOn placed
near him, put the piece of tobacco in his
and began to chew.
The audience by this time was very
much interested. They craned their
necks forward to get glimpse of the
like perspiration'' but they didn't Not
much.
He sat there with calm and solemn
smile, and chewed and spit, and spit and
chewed. The lecturer ut length said:
'.Ah, that was mistake! gave him
q piece that was too mild; it should have
been stronger" and he handed the boy
another pill.
The boy took it contentedly. In fact
he seemed to enjoy it is rs much as
though it had been Strawberries and
cream or green apples. His jaws work
ed like stOne-breaker.
The lecturer was dumbfounded.
john" said he, ''are you sure you
never smoked?'
''Yes, sir; l never smoked; but kin
chew more tobacco than you kin shake
stick att ,
The lecturer concluded that it was
,est to give his prodigal illustration the
iollar he promised and let him slide.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
The Leaninr Tower nf Pisa.

A correspondent writing of the lean
ing tower of Pisa, says that. whether by
accident OF design no one can now tell,
the inclination of the structure makes it
look and feel to the visitor as if it were
about to fall. 1t is $50 feet high and is
13 feet out of the perpendicular. This
is stated everywhere, and is no doubt
true, but suppose there are many per-
sons who, like myself, expect to see y
building standing erect, the center of
whose top was outside the center OF
gravity. This is not the case by any
means. 1t is true that a rope falling
from the center OF the top would strike
the wall at the bottom of the tower side,
but the rope would not fall outside the
tower wall. In short time satisfied
myself and two other visitors of this
fact. The apparent contradiction of the
laws of nature disappears, then, in a
moment. Taking the building as
wholc-letting a line fall from the cen
ter Mt the top, if this line fell outside of
the base, in that case the building would
violate the law of gravity if it remained
standing. believe the architect plan
ned this optical delusion. There are no
signs of any giving way in the struct-
ure. No crack or crevice gives evidence
OF rapid or slow settling OF the walls.
The architect knew very well how easily
the eye can be deceived. The firmness
of the masonry, the gradual ascent. the
symmetry of the whole, prove beyond u
doubt that it was built as it now stands.
The walls below are very thick, and un-
less these should give way there is but
one other method by which the building
could be overthrown. If the stones were
oslip from theirp places, then, little by little
it would be dislodged. But the whole
structure is keyed and bolted and ce-
mentcd into solid mass. If it leaned
nine feet more than it does, then it
would fall, because the sum of its weight
would fall outside of the center of gr;tvi-
ty. The mystery disappears at once
when we examine it, but the curious
effect upon ones nerves i'm making the
ascent and standing on the top is never
theless real. i9-.s-s l.n 8a.a Fi5fit
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
The Parson Wasn't "wery Pertiokler,'
But Uncle Mace Was.


The Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter, an
Austin colored clergyman. wished to
hint to Uncle Mace, who is his near
neighbor. that gift Of a cord of fire
wood would be very gratefully accepted.
Uncle Mace. by the way, docs not like
Whangdoodle much. Finally, says
Whangdoodle. insinuatingly:
s'Uncle Mace, Use gwine ter be pow
erf,ll hard up for firewood this winter.
Can't yer gimme a load?''
Uncle Mace looked al around as if he
were afraid of being overheard, and then
he said:
.'Parson, is you very pertickler whar
de wood comes fromp'
Parson Whangdoodle supposed this to
mean that Uncle Mace was going to
give him some stolen wood, SO he re-
Piled:
Uncle Mace, rs long as gets de
wood don't keer much whar it comes
from
"Den, Parson, you don't keer whose
wood you burns up"
''Hit's all de same ter me, Uncle
Mace"
swell, am gwine." said Mace.
''Whar is yer gwine?'
''Ter lock up my wood shed. "-Gal-
reston NeaCS.-
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
An Alarmed Servant Girl.

A woman residing in this city has a
tongue of extraordinary length, which
she is said to rest while sleeping by
hanging it down to point considerably
below her chin. An Irish servant girl
who had been instructed to wake her up
early one morning, came flying back to
the kitchen from her mission with pale
cheeks and startling eyes. What's the
enufr' exclaimed Biddy, ''sure the mis-
thress has swallowed snake.'' The
cook burst into laughter, whereupon the
girl added: ''Its no loie Pm tellin'
yes, begorrah, wild me own eyes saw
the tail of it stickin' out of her mouth. p"
-Reading, Pa, Gazette.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

When the queen refused to sanction
the mutual attachment between Prince
Leopold and the now Lady Brooke, the
prince turned once more into the realms
of art for an object Oh which to fix his
fancy. This time there was no lack of
birth, wealth, or beauty; but, to the as
tOnishment of royalty, an obstacle came
from the young lady herself, which even
the e Of Of hgSness Go eod a
not overcome. The present marriage
"German all over large-footed, flat
she is passionately fond of music, and
perhaps later on may be brought to love
"boedrv aud baindine."
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

Cardinal Newman ooes not approve
of the current fashion for writing the
lives of men while they are living-at
any rate, so far as his own life is con-
cerncd. When it was recently announce
ed that an English firm had arranged
for biography of him, he promptly
caused it to be made known, over his
own name, that the work was not ap-
proved by him, in fact, he had declined
to read the proof-sheets when asked to
do SO, saying ''the time for q biography
Of him had not come."
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
PORTAGE COUNTY HEDGE co.

MANAGERS .


5
II live asss are Dc
@ n
nor idren
,h.@ h ss % f
nnsmes.i
o the M ersofn tie rtag .
dconFt
through II
regarding DC
II
eharme
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

Two little girls, 10 and II years old,
left their homes in Atlanta, Ga, recent
ly, taking dolls and other little play
things with them, and started off on a
gypsy jaunt They stayed from home
all one night, but were carried back the
next day, to the great relief of their
parents. YellOw-back literature is
thought to have put the folly into their
heads
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

An innocent looking young servant
girl kept her employers family in a
fright for six months, at Norwich, Conn.
by ringing the door-bell and rappiDg on
The windows at unreasonable hours.
They were sure that a ghost was about,
and it was only after watching for
twelve nights that detective solved the
mystery
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

y "Take her," said the fond father, put
ting his daughters hand in that of the
bashful youth beside him; "take her,
and try TO be happy. l shall miss her
When she's gone, but can't cry over it;
Yhe's too tremendously like her mothsr.m
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

The Washington monument has now
reached the height of 250 feet sbove its
haSn
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19

have bought Mrs ID. W.. Days stock Of
House Plants. and have added . stock OF Winter
Blooming Plants. Also. . hne stock Of Wire
Work and Hanging baskets.
Visitors respectfully invited.
Gents Button Hole Bouquets made to order
for five cents.
Floral Work made to order.
A. HAsBROUCK.
Ravenna. Aug II 1857. lw
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
THE BEST REMEDY
FOR
Diseases Of the Throat and Lungs.
In diseases of the pul.

In diseases Of the pull
monary organs a safe
and reliable remedy is
Invaluable. AYERS
CHERRY PICTORIAL is
such a remedy, and no
othersoeminently mer-
it's the confidence Of
the public. 1t is a sci
entihc combination of
the medicinal princi-
pies and curative vir-
tues of the finest drugs,
chemically united, Of
such power as TO insure
the greatest possible
efficiency and uniform
ity of results. 1t strikes
at the foundation of all
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-01-19
Avg D:S

- - ~ at Tile VI
pulmonary diseases, atfording prompt relief
and rapid cures, and is adapted to patients OF
any age or either sex. Being very palatable,
the youngest children take it readily. In
ordinary Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat,
Bronchitis, Influenza, Clergyman's
Sore Throat, Asthma, Group, and Ca
tarrh, the effects of AYERS CHERRY PFC
ToRAL are magical, and multitudes are an
nually preserved from serious illness by its
timely and faithful use. 1t should be kept
at hand in every household for the pro-
lection it affords in sudden attacks. In
WhOoping- cough and Consumption
there is no other remedy so efficacious,
soothing and helpful.
Low prices are inducements to try some of
the many mixtures, or syrups, made OF cheap
and ineffective Ingredients, now offered,
which. az they contain no curative qualities,
can afford only temporary relief, and are
sure to deceive and disappoint the patient.
Diseases Of the throat and lungs demand
active and effective treatment; and it is dam
cheap medicines, from the great liability that
these diseases may, while so trifled with,
become deeply seated or incurable. Use
AYERS CHERRY PECTORAL, and you may
confidently expect the best results. 1t is
standard medical preparation, of known and
acknowledged curative power, and is as
cheap as its careful preparation and fine
knowing its composition, prescribe it in their
practice. The test of half century has
proven it's absolute certainty to cure all pull
-monary complaints not already beyond the
reach of human aid.
Prepared by DR.. j. c. Aver g. Co.,
Practical and Analytical Chemists.
Lowell, Mass.