Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-06-07
Wanted His Waterproof.

Wanted His Waterproof.
From the Brooklyn Eagle.
my desr, J" said Mr.. spoopendyke, pulling the
shams or the bed, ''where lie my-my, where ID
my-you know what mean. What did you do
with it,"
"Your shawl strap" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke,
dropping tho baby into the crib. "Oh, know;
your dumb bells. Is that what You wanti"
"Has that shawl strap got sleeves to III" DE-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, ransacking the sew
Ing machine. "Are those dumb bells split up
what want, my rubber overcoat. Where did
you put it," and Mr.. Spoopendyke pulled pile
Of letters out Of the pigeon hole to his wife's
desk and spilled them along the floor.
'Where did you have it last?" murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke, with her finger in her mouth and
conservation in her eve.
Had 1t on!" growled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
''Whered ye s'pose had it? Think had it for
lunch2 Don't you know where the measly
things gone to9 Spry around now and find i'll
suppose it's in there! Get that coat before it
clears up, will YEP" and Mr.. Spoopendyke shook
the clock and then peered into the mantel vases.
81 don't believe IT'S going to rain much any
way" faltered Mrs. SpoOpendyke, who couldn't
remember having seen the coat for q month.
'When 1t looks like this it's always going to
sunshine" and she followed him around the
room in futter of apprehension.
VI COuISC III Is! SpOODonOFke.
"Things are going to do just what you tell 'em
to. you had a lot of tin figures in front and
streak Of mercury up your spine you'd only
need a sheet iron case and wire handle to be q
barometer! If you'll look along your measly
information about the weather, p'raps you'll find
that overcoat at the other end of It Where's
that coat? Going to let me stand here and soak
while the moths picnic that coat into q shad net?
Take me by the elbow anG lead me to the coat!'
and Mr.. Spoopendyke tipped the sofa over SO
hot hn uInpsf khnv,
plaster bust of Minerva against the wall, under
the impression that the coat might have crawled
into her ear.
otis the strangest thing in the world" gig
gled Mrs. spoopendyke, Historically. "Are you
'If didn't how'd it get homer roared Mr.
Spoopendyke, putting his hands on his knees
and grinning in his wife's face. "S'pOse it hired
hack and drove home? Oh no! didn't wear
1t home The last l saw of it, It had it's hat
over its ear and female waterproof on it's
arm, piking up Fulton street as happy as an
alderman's funerali What're We standing there
for? Got some indistinct notion that the dod
gasted coat has gone to get shaved, haven't We?
Who'd We give it to? Been end0wing O meta
physical chair in some kind of an old womans
home with it, havn't ye? Where's the coat?
Develop the coat before vitiate the insurance."
and Mr.. Spoopendyke kicked his wife's work.
basket across the room and rammed his arm to
the shoulder up the chimney.
"DO you remember where you wore it last?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, suddenly becoming
calm and analytical.
II wore it on my back!" protested Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, who didn't remember whether he had
taken it to church or to hospital. maybe
you're under the impression that / tied it to
stick and wheeled 1t along on the buttons! On
my back, tell We! On this particular back!"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke almost broke his arm
pointing out the attraction referred to. "Most
folks fit up their rubber Overcoats with bent
wire and focus, and wear 'em for spectacles,
but I hadn't time; SO wore it on my back!
Bring forth the coat!" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
spinning around like a top. "Fetch out the
measly coat before the proprietor of these prem
Uses makes up his mind whether he'll build
new house here or mortgage the lot!'
"You wore it the last day it rained, and when
1t cleared off in the afternoon noticed that you
had on your spring overcoat," said Mrs. spoo-
pendyke quietly.
'Great head!'' grunted Mr.. spoopendyke, be-
ginning to feel uncomfortable and wondering
how it was coming out. with your perceptive
faculties and meteorological education, you only
gasted street telescope at ten cents peep!
What OF 1t? 'Spose l did wear spring over
coat! It's spring, amt it?''
"And don't know" continued Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, "but think you had it on over your
waterproof If you'll look, you may find the
rubber coat inside of the other now"
Mr.. Spoopendyke growled and snorted his
way to the closet, like foghorn, and found
things as his wife had predicted.
Smart, amt vel" he grumbled, as he hauled
out the waterproof. "Great powers Of induc-
tive reasoning! Some day I'm going to fit you
up with a stiff neck and a pot Of beans and
start Concord School Of Philosophy with
you"
And with this threat Mr.. Spoopendyke threw
the coat over his arm, and all the way to Coney
Island entertained his friend Specklewottle with
a description Of his habits Of ORDER (which are
80 perfect, sir, that 1 could put my thumb on
anything wanted, sir-if my wife would only
let things alone"