Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-12-21

Major Todd. of Bangor. Me. lost his
right leg at the battle of Fredericksburg, =,
and some time ago he purchased an ar.
tiiicial leg from 4 man in Washington.
1t contained n system of springs which
enabled the Major to use it in such a
natural manner that when he was walk
ing along the street nobody would for 4
moment suppose that he had not both
of his own legs.
One Sunday, while the Major was on
his way to church, he slipped up on the
ice and gave the store leg severe
wrench. He must have dislocated some
of the springs: for. after reaching the
church and taking his seat. and while
the clergyman was reading the Script
ures. the leg suddenly flew up and rest
ed on the back of the seat in front of
him. The congregation looked at him
in amazement, and he grew very red in
the face. As soon rs he took it down
it jumped up again and wiggled about
on the back OF the pew. finally kicking
Mrs. Thompson bonnet to rags. Then
the Major suppressed it again. and held
it down, but it instantly began a con-
vulsiye movement in his own pew, DUR
ing which it upset the stools. plunged
around among the hymn books and
hats, and hammered the board beneath
the seat until the minister had to stop.
The sexton came rushing in to find out
what was the matter. and the Major.
after explaining the difficulty in a whis-
per. asked the sexton to let him lean
on him while he charged on the front
door. As soon as the Major got into
the aisle that disiocated leg kicked the
sexton sixteen or seventeen times in Il
most insolent manner, VARYING the eX-
erc;ses by making eccentric swoops oil
TO one side, during which it kicked
eight of the high hats at the pew doors
into black silk chaos
By the time the Major reached the
vestibule the leg had become perfectly
reckless. Ii few up before and it lew
up behind. 1t butted against the good
leg. and darted out sidewise, and de-
scribed circles. and tried 10 insert its
toes in the Majors ccat-tail pockets.
and TO whack him on the nose. When
the sexton came with the hack and pat
the Major in it the leg banged through
the window glass. and when the driver
got down TO see about j; the leg brand
ished itself in his face. and concluded
the exercise BY planting terri bic blow
in his stomach Then the Major told
the driver that he world give him ten
dollars to take the leg off. and the
driver accepted The offer. For severa.
minutes il eluded all his efforts to catci
il as it danced about. but finally he got
hold of it and hung on while the Major
tried to unbuckle the straps. Then it
came off and rolled the driver in the
mud. He got up to watch it. II
writhed and kicked and jumped ant.
,hrob5ed and hoped; and whenever il
would make 4 dash 10 one side or the
other the crowd would scatter in order
TO give it u play. Finally Ben Wool
lev set his dog on it. and a most excit-
ing contest ensued. the leg two or three
times running o with the dog; ana it
seemed likely that the dog would get
whipped. MIR. Woollev got Il crow-bar
and aimed blow at the leg with the
intent to smash it. But he missed il
and nearly lied the dog. As soon as
the dog retired Mr.. Noollcy whacked
it aga and burst it into flinders, and
then there was peace. Ma or
drove home and got his crutches, and
since then he has confined himself to
the use of wooden leg without
springs. Chicago Herald.
.