Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-03-16

ST sot down, took look at the old wo-
man sleepin' away in the bed as if they
want no such thing as Amy this side
o. Greenland, an clapped the pistol to
my head. Boys, quicker'n ightnin'
could skin a saplin' that Amy was gone.
l got kinder skeert, the change was so
student. I dropped my pistol in my lap.
Boys, hope to live thousan' years,
an have the Amy every mint of it, if
that Amy didn't strike me again, kerr
PUNK, suddener than catamount's
spat. It druv me e'enamost crazy, an
l showed the weepon 'ginst my head
agin. Fore could pull the trigger that
amy dug out as if it had partickler biz
ness round the corner. took the pis-
toll down, an riz up to see if [ was a
dreamin'. I hadn't more'n got on my
feet fore the Amy hit me agin, and
knocked me plumb back in the chair.
Then see plain 'nough that l WANT
dreamin' no more nor deer ain It when
thur couple o. houn's not more n thir-
ty jumps ahind it. An / ketched the
idee o. the hull bizness at the same time.
That internal amy knowed if I killed
myself it couldn't have no more fun with
me, an so it jest quietly let up on me in
time to stop my firm.
"tSoho!' says L. Here's bully
good way fur me to kinder git a leetle
rest l says. 'I'll jest keep that pistol
clapped to my ole Uranium, and breathe
like white folks the rest O. the night
says 1.
$50 clapped Ole Belcher to my for
rid, an away went the amy. But my
arm got durn tired pooty soon, an [ had
to let her drop. Then the azmy'd grab
me an slap'd 60 the pistol up agin. An
that's the way we KEEP goin' fur nigh
on to three hours. Slap'd 60 the pistol
to my ole head, an away the azmy'd
skip. Then down'd come the pistol,
an back d come the Amy with a whoop.
1t actually got so that the wheezes that
l got rid of sounded jist like the Amy
laughin' over the smokin' hot fandango
it was havin' with me. Bimeby got so
cussed tired an played out that | fell
asleep. But the Amy didn't enjoy that,
an had me back agin in less than fifteen
minutes. Then L says:
"sHere goes, anyhow. I'll bust my
wuthless ole conk if faint for nothin'
more'n to spite the Internal amy says
$50 l pinted the pistol square 'twixt
my eyes. But the Amy didn't mind it
a bit, but KEEP right on. That's fun
n.y. thinks 1. 'Mebbe it's gittin' tired
1 says. So took the pistol down, made
a big fuss a cockin' it, an slammed it
up agin my head oncet more. But the
Amy took hold O. me harder'n ever, an
I whooped worse'n a Chucktowner on
lection night. An want to say right
here somethin' that shows the durn
cuteness and cussedness of that Amy O.
mine. Two neighbors O. mine was a
havin' the Amy right along the same
time that [ was a rasselin' with it, an [
found out afterwards that on this per-
ticker night they got dead shut of it
bout 1 O'Clock an went to sleep like
lambs. Now, don't you see, my Amy
just went over an fetched them two
azmys round to help with the fun it
was havin' long O. me, jest as sure as
two's into three oncet an one to carry.
"Well, when Ole Belcher missed fire
the second time, an the Amy howled
an yelled as if it was Delaware raft
man at a circus, begun to git mad.
"'Dod blast yer howlin' skin! says,
6 I'll fix We this time!' SAYS I. An
jammed the pistol clean into my left
ear an yanked the trigger agin. Belcher
didn't 60 off, and the amy jest more'n
yelled.
81 slammed the weepon down ON the
floor. I was mad enough to eat it.
"'What in the name o. the great king
is the matter with that pistol?' [ hol-
Tered. Cause it never served me such
a trick afore. That walked my ole wo-
man up, an she rubbed her eyes an
looked at me kinder inherent like.
"' What, Belcher?' she says. co.
says she, when you was sleepin' awhile
ago. she says, Il see the pistol in yer
hand,' says she, 'an bein' kinder feered
it mowt 60 off an hurt ye,' she says, 4
jest drawed the load says she.
can the durn Amy know'd it all the
time," said the Old Settler, as he went
in with the boys to the bar.-Milford
(P0.) Cor. NeW York Sun.