Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-05-25
PLEAGANIRLE6.

TIE man who "keeps" his word never
speaks.
A wAsHERwoMAN's chief support is the
clothes prop.
In what suit does a man never feel
comfortable? In lawsuit.
T Is often silent; but a tea-party is
the noisiest thing on record.
No MATTER how old a crow-bar may
be, it remains as pry as ever.
CLARA calls her husband, when he
takes her in his arms to kiss her, a self
sealing envelope.
THEY have got Newark in New Jer-
sey, and are waiting for the coming Of a
second hand Noah.
WHEN one comes to look for ideas it
will be found that the majority Of all
poetry is blank verse.
TIE man who unearthed mummy
boosted that he had got dead-sure thing
on the show business.
AN exchange advertises for the return
Of the umbrella of a young lady with
whalebone ribs and an ivory handle"
JEEMEs says he isn't particular about
the bells on the horse, but he must have
belle in the sleigh, or it is no sleigh
ride at all.
THERE is said to be no danger even
in the coolest weather Of getting the
tongue frost-bitten if the mouth is kept
tightly closed. Here is a hint that
great many persons could proftably
ponder over.
On, protoplasm Oh, bioplasm Oh,
mystic depths Of the unknowable ! Her
bert Spencer has the dyspepsia, and it
was brought on by eating peanuts.
Thus does philosophy fail us in themost
common interests Of life, while untold
ing before us the llimitable. Boston
Post.
"LooK here, said Mr.. Spilkins to his
wife, "you ought to have some fine
brandy in the house to cure my sickness
at my stomach. "That's where you are
mistaken" responded the good lady,
"you would be sick at your stomach
ten times a day if there was an alco-
holic remedy for it in the house."
BUSY retail grocer,
Whom we all surely know, sir,
Was asked one day in o friendly wsy
By country chap who had como to stay
Till the mail came in at the close Of day,
'what are your gross receipts, STRIP
''He, he! ha, hal no, hol sir |"
Laughed the busy retail grocer,
As he pointed out, with laugh and shout,
The barrels and boxes ranged about,
"You can plainly see, beyond doubt,
What are my grocery seats, sir !"
"MA," said young Impudence ct
breakfast, "this is the last pie you
made, amt it? "Yes. my son /;
why "I guess you had to paint the
stufing in with q brush. It's awful
thin" Sentenced to go pieless until
he can cultivate proper spirit Of ap-
probation"
AcoMMERc1A1 traveller having had q
run of hard luck in prosecuting business
on the road, received from his firm the
following exhilarating dispatch: eff
you can't make expenses, come home at
once" To which he made the follow
ing reply /: "All right; can make plen-
ty of expenses, but no sales"
THEY had just been married. He
seized her hand and said, in a low,
tremulous voice: cit was your innate
modesty and apparent Indifference, dear
asst Sallie. that made me register VOW
to marry you at all hazards" eyes,"
she sighed, "but I slipped up on three
or four Of the most eligible young men
in Galveston before found that OUT
Galveston Ne1Os.
ALTHOUGH Joe Darlington never
helped destroy the United States Gov
eminent he is very particular about his
title. Yesterday Gilhooly met him and
said, pleasantly, Good morning, Gap"
"Majah, sah," said Joe, sticking his
thumbs in the armholes of his vest, and
throwing out his breast. "You must
excuse me, Majah," replied Gilhooly,
but I've got such cold in my head
that I can't tell Captain from Major,
even at short range. "-Galveston News.