davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-03-15
No Accounting for Tastes.

you had better git rid Of that stovepipe
hat you'll be l%ivelier without it." said q
powerfully built. red-faced young truck-driv-
er the other day, as he nearly drove over a
delicate looking gentleman on Park Row.
The pedestrian had to skip in a very undig-
nified manner to escape.
''You want your neck Wrung very bad
ly," he said as he gained the sidewalk and
looked after the truck.
The driver heard him and pulled up his
horse.
twill you wiring it ?" he asked in gruff
tones.
The gentleman stood q few moments and
then replied
man but I will latten your nose if that
will suit you"
It appears that the proposal suited the dri-
yer, for in twenty seconds he stood before
the fragile looking man.
SHOW hatten my nose" he exclaimed de-
family"
It was done before the words were we'll
out of his mouth, and as he lay on his back
in the gutter the expression on his blood-be-
spattered countenance was hat of mingled
pain and establishment.
"What did you strike that man for ?"asked
a policeman, hurrying up and Selling the
gentleman.
Because he asked me to strike him." was
the reply, ''and as he looked like an honest
fellow / did not like to disoblige him."
The policeman looked at::the truckman, who
rose slowly, and without making any com
plant mounted the seat of his wagon and
drove off.
"Well," said the policeman, impressively
as he walked away, s'there's no accounting
for tastes.-N. 2. Sun.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-03-15
OverdId the Thing.

Yesterday afternoon a man from Park City
came into the Cliff House considerably excl
TED, and inquired it a certain person was
ST. p ing there. He explained that the N n
had ''done him dirt" and he was anxious to
lick him.. Finding that the man had Just left
the house he rushed out after him. and find
ing him on Tribune avenue, walked up and
announced that be had come all the way
from Park City to lick him, and according
ly he started in. In a few minutes he had
blackened both the mans eyes, walked all
over him and reduced him to a general
wreck. When he had finished the job he
stood the man up against the wall of Walk
er's bank and remarked
Snow. you ID contemplate, lop-eared
--, | want you to understand that
I consider you the most infamous whelp I
ever saw. You dirty little cur, L"
Hold on" said the man who had Just
been licked, taking off his coat. 81 think
that after thrashing a man, you've no right
to abuse him. l can stand a licking, but |
wont stand abuse from any living man, no
matter how much be weighs. Now, I'm CO.
ing to lick YOU" He was as good as his
word and started in with the same business
like air, knocking his late victor into the gut
ter. Every time he got up he knocked him
down with, "Blast me / can't stand abuse p
When he got through with the Park City
man the crowd thought he was a pile of rags
and mud.
Now, look here, my friend" said the
last victor, ''next time you lick a man, let
we'll enough alone. Don't abuse him. You
handled yourself we'll enough while you were
licking me, but you overdid the abuse.-SaH
Lake Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-03-15
Was Going to Lick Him Anyhow

The other evening a corner loafer insulted
a lady, and a man jumped in and thrashed
that loafer all over the sidewalk so that the
the brute was sore, skinned and bruised all
over and felt as though he had been to a pic
mic. And the lady thanked the gentleman
while the crowd cheered. He said: ''Oh,
you needn't thank me, ma'am, I'm glad to do
you a service, and | was going to lick the
fellow, anyhow. | recognize him as the
cross-eyed pirate who put q bee down my
back at the Museum, t'other night, and I've
Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
AN ERIE HERO'S ACT.

The action of Daniel Conroy in saving
the life of his fellow workman, Julius
Berger, at the Cathedral in Cleveland,
the other day, was one of the bravest
feats of self.devotion ever recorded. Ber-
ger had nailed a plank out from a scat
fold seventy-fve or eighty feet from the
ground. This plank was supported by a
few nails driven into the high scaffolding
Upon this frail support Berger walked
out in order to drop plumb line down to
enable the masons to build upon the
tower wall. Conroy was working on a
scaffold about eighteen or twenty feet be-
low the board upon which Berger started
out upon. There was space of about
two feet between Conroy's scaffold and
the wall, and the end of Berger's board
was directly over this space, so that when
the accident happened he would have
fallen through to the ground. When
Berger reached the end of his plank a
noise was heard that drew all eyes to that
point. The nails were being slowly
drawn by the great weight at the other
end of the board. Scarcely had Berger's
feIlow-workmen noticed his danger when
the last support gave way and Berger fell
to what appeared certain death. Conroy
stood nearly beneath Berger when he fell
A quick eye, sharp wit, and brave self
forgetfulness told him at glance that
there was but one way to save his com
rade, and forgetting all danger to him
self, he adopted that plan. Jumping be
meath the spot where Berger was falling
he threw himself forward, and bracine
himself against the cathedral he received
Berger's form square on his shoulders
while the plank Berger had been stand
ing on went crushing past both of them
narrowly escaping knocking them from
their frail support. Berger is large
stout man, weighing fully $50 pounds
and Conroy is but little heavier. Berger
struck Conroy's back with terrible
shock. Both men were lady injured
but both lives were safe. Berger haC
struck the sharp corner of stone in the
wall as he fell, inficting serious though
not dangerous internal injuries, while
Conroy received such severe shock be
could scarcely move for a long time.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
THE TARIFF COMMISSION.

The New York Tribune: The Presi-
dent appointed commission, controlled
by tariff men, to revise and perfect the
tariff. That seems to us-in spite OF
much adverse enthusiastically right.
If he had wanted to change the principle
of the tariff, he might well enough have
appointed revenue reformers or free trad
ers. But he didn't want to change the
principle of the tariff, and he knew Con-
gress did not, and the country did not.
The tariff we have is a protective tariff.
What the critics want is revenue tariff,
or free trade. But we all know the coun-
try does not want that. The Republican
party has also opposed it, and the Demo
ocratic party has not yet got over curslng
Henry Watterson for honoraDly favorlng
it ''iust once" in their last platform.
Should the President appoint, then, to
correct inequalities in the tariff and adj
Just it to our changing conditions, men
who do not believe in it at all, and would
be glad to upset the principle on which
it is based? Is it to be bettered by being
put in hostile hands?-doctored by men
who want to strangle it?
The President saw the folly Of such a
course and wisely avoided it. When the
country gets ready to al andon protection,
it will tolerate free-trade doctrines on a
tariff commission. While it remains over.
whelmingly in favor of protection, it will
prefer to see protectionists intrusted with
the work Of perfecting its tariff.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

THE CARS DIARY.-A page of the
Cars diary, if we may believe the San
Francisco Newsletter, runs as follows:
"Got up at a. m. and ordered my bath
Found four gallons vitriol in it, and did
not take it. Went to breakfast. The
NihiIists had placed two torpedoes on the
stairs, but did not step on them. The
coffee smelt so strongly of prussic acid
that was afraid to drink it. Found a
scorpion in my left slipper, but luckily
shook it out before putting it on. Just
before stepping in my carriage to go for
my morning drive it was blown into the
air, killing the coachman aud horses in
stantly Took a light lunch off hermeti-
cally sealed American canned goods.
They can't fool me there. Found pois-
oned dagger in my favorite chair, with
the point sticking out. Did not sit down
on it. Had dinner at Z p. m, and made
Baron Laischounowenski taste every dish.
He died before the soup was cleared
away. Consumed some Baltimore oysters
and some London stout. that [ have had
locked up for five years. Went to the
theater, and was shot at three times in
first act. Had the entire audience hang
ed. Went home to bed, and slept all
night on the roof of the palace
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
METEOROLOGY AND FARMING.

With the developement of the Sigma
Service the science OF meteorology has
been applied with constantly Increasing
benefcience to human interest both on
land and sea. A vivid idea Of the room
for its further developmentin the former
direction l.. presented by a paper that III.
r. Hilton, of Topeka, Kansas, has lately
read before the Kansas Academy OF
Sciences. The writer, although layman
and practical business man, rather than
either q farmer or student, deals with the
laws relating to aerial currents and the
reIation of soil and its conditions to the
nrecipitation and retention OF moisture,
in. an instructive, not to say mastery
manner. After defining the general and
natural features of the soil IN different
parts of Kansas, he proceeds to show
what its cultivation has done for the mod
ification of the climate. His arguments,
az applying to the principal area OF all
the Central Western States, is of national
interest. This vast area depends tor Its
rainfall not in any appreciate degree up
ON local evaporation, but upon the south
winds that prevail in summer, and are
surcharged with moisture from the Gulf
of Mexico. Mr.. Hilton shows in suffi-
GENTLY conclusive manner that the pre-
c;nitafion of this moisture may be modi-
fed and even regulated, by the condition
in which the farmers of a given section
Heen the surface of the soil. Not merely
+roa cuIture-about which so much has
been heard and relatively so little has been
Jono;o the West for late years-but the
ord;narv processes of agriculture thus
o Ooon r. exert definite effect for the re-
Sew ~Ienoot;on of large areas of the national
J Joraa;n that have been heretofore consid-
o ared worthless by reason Of their climate
WI W. houndless source of irrigation liz
tha skies to be tapped by human intelli
JIG oa. 81 will no lands can be any longer
pronounced worthless.-Ne'0 YORK 1e'e
srom.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
LUXURY IN RAIL TRAVEL.

Old Commodore Vanderbilt used to ride
over his roads in car that he considered
pretty fine and becoming his station as
railroad king. That car is now owned
by the Wagner Car Company, and leaves
the Grand Central depot in this city at
2:55 o'clock every afternoon for Chicago.
1t bears the name Iroquois and any one
may ride IN it who pays his passage. In
these times it is looked upon as rather
plain car and none too good for even
common travel Since the days when
the old Commodore was whirled over the
rails and gave his engineers ten-dollar
fast runs, great improvements have been
made in car architecture. People not
worth thousandth part what the Com
modore was ride in better cars every time
they take trip than the old railrcr d
king did. 1t costs from $4,000 to $780,
600 to build palace car nowadays, ac-
cording to the style in which it is finish
ed, and it safe to say that the Commo-
dore's car cost scarcely more than half
the first sum- Cars are now built so tn at
the owner of one, if he were SO inclined,
could live on the rail from one end OF the
year to the other. The accommodations,
to be sure, are more limited thru in the
average hope built upon the solid earth
but the cars are so constructed that COM
forts are afforded which one could hard
ly expect to find in such naeagre space.
Three cars have just been built by The
Pullman Palace Car Company which are
indeed palaces on wheels. One was con
structed for Hugh ]. Jewett, the Presi-
dent of the Erie Railway: another for
Henry Willard, the President of the Ore
gon Railway and Navigation Company,
and the third for T. w. PIERCE, the Pres
ident of the Sunset Route in Texas.
These cars form houses in miniature. At
the forward end Of each car is a kitchen
back of this parlor, which serves as a
dining room; adjoining bedroom, with
bath room attached, and at the rear end
a smoking-room and observatory. Berths
are also supplied in different parts of the
| cars, and electric bells connect with the
kitchen and servants quarters. The cars
are handsome in the extreme. That of Mr.
Jewett, the Ramapo, may be taken as an
example 1t is heavily inlaid with cost.
ly woods and magnifcently upholstered
These cars cost about $4,000 each.
The car of Mr.. William III. Wander
bilt is one of the largest in the country
1t is seventv-four feet in length, nine
feet ten inches wide, and fourteen feet
six inches high. It's divided into four
main apartments. At the front is the
kitchen, ard back of it Mr. Vanderbilts
state-room The sitting and dining room
and the card-room follow At the ex-
treme rear is the observatory with en-
closed sides and open back. The car is
elegantly fitted up, and is provided with
electric bells and other conveniencies.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
THE STORMS OF SATURDAY.

Friday night and Saturday merning
the southwestern States were visited by a
terrible storm, which did great deal of
damage, causing loss of more than
$500, coo in different places. Near Leav-
enworth, Kan, Mount st. Mary's Acad
envy WAS demolished, and Ida Golden,
Annie McDonald, and Mable Nolan
than, of Leavenwocth, and Mary Austin,
of CarroIton, Mo-, were instantly killed.
The Kansas City elevator was blown
down, the loss being $4,000 An un-
known man was blown into the river and
drowned. At Atchison, Kan, several
private residences were destroyed, or
greatly injured, as was the County Poor
House. The damage exceeded SO OOO.
At Valley Falls, Greenleaf, Cawker City,
Nortonville, Downs, orchards, grain and
houses were greatly damaged. At Kan
sas City the destruction was great. Fow-
Ter Brothers cooper-shop and the Western
paint shops were blown down, and 1hom-
as Madderh, who was in the latter was
killed. The Howell Hotel, at Rosedale.
a suburb. was blown down, and William
REESE killed, and Fred Howell had leg
broken. At Wyandotte, across the Kan
sas River, Durring's Opera House was
unroofed. The loss in Kansas City is es,
timated at 100000.
In st. Louis the tornado did much evil,
both in the city and on the river, though
the loss was only about $4,000 as re-
ported. One steamer, the Blue Lodge,
owned at La Crosse, was sunk. Her loss
was $4,000. Small houses were blown
down, the poorer classes suffering most
here.
The iniurydone Topeka, Kan, was con-
siderable, but no lives were lost. Among
the other places to suffer were Clinton,
I'LL, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Iowa City, and
Vandalia, I'll. The velocity of the wind
estimated at sixty miles an hour.
The cyclone at Grinell, Iowa, Saturday
night, was a visitation extremely disas-
trous and painful in its results. 1t swoop-
ed down upon the city about % o'clock,
and in an incredible space of time mark
ed its path with direst ruin. Already
forty-one persons have given up the ghost,
while it is stated the number may reach
seventy-five. About $50 residences,
among them being some of the finest in
the city, were reduced to lath and plaster,
and the surgeons estimate the number of
citizens wounded will aggregate $50. 1t
Malcolm, an adjoining suburb, eight peo-
pie were killed and the usual wounding
wreck and ruin perpetrated Trains were
blown from the tracks by the midnight
terror, and damage untold worked in
fine path of the storm.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

A horrible drowning affair is recorded
at Cambria, Columbia County, under
date of June 10Th, as follows:
Mrs. William g. Williams, and her
hired girl, of this place, were drowned at
3 o'clock yesterday afternoon. The at
fair creates the gseatest excitement, as
Mrs. Williams was woman greatly be-
loved and no positive knowledge of how
the terrible affair happened can be learn
ed. The theory is that the hired girl
was in the river bathing, and that she
got beyond her depth and that Mrs. Will
liams saw her and tried to save her;
whereby Mrs. Williams herself twas drawn
into deep water, where both persisted
Mrs. Williams leaves two small children
one thirteen months old and the Other
five years old It is the saddest fatality
which has ever occurred here.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

THERE is still one adventurous Arctic
explorer unaccounted for. His name is
Leigh Smith, and he is an Englishman.
He left England just'one year ago in his
fragile yacht, Ezra, to run up and take a
peep at the North pole, and has not been
automatically heard from since. He ex-
pected to return last November. He had
provisions for fourteen months, but was
not prepared to spend six months night
amid the ice foes. He had with him a
companion. Captain Lofey, of Hull, and
his surgeon, DR.. Neall. The crew con-
sisted of twenty-five men.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

THE members of the tariff commission
appointed by President Arthur have
been conformed by the Senate. The fol
lowing are the commissioners: John L.
HAYES, Mass. chairman; Henry w. Oil
ver.Jr, Penn; Austin VI. Garland, Hin.
ois; Jacob Amber, Ohio; Robert 2
Potter. District of Columbia; John w
H. Underwood, Georgia; Duncan F
Kenner, Louisiana; Alexander R. Bate
Ter, West Virginia; William II. Nc
Mahon, New York.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

ANOTHER great new oil well-the
fourth within a short time-has been
struck in the Warren county pa region.
The last one flows about 5000 gallons
day. The effect of the immense yield OF
these new wells is to overstock the Oft
market and depress prices.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

THE Rev. Ernest Wilberforce, aged 43,
is, with the exception Of his father and
bis fathers predecessor, Bishop Sumner,
in the See of Winchester, the youngest
English Bishop made within fifty years.
A clergyman of the Church of England
i not eligible to the inter until he Is 80,
and very few get it before they are 5o
wears old
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
SENATOR Slater, democrat, of Greg

SENATOR Slater, democrat, of Oregon,
saws that the recent overwhelming re-
publican victory in that state is due to
the influx of new settlers into the state
since the last election, most of whom vot-
ed the Republican ticket, The same is
true of the most intelligent people every
where
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

Hon james Wilson, of Tama county
low, at present State Railroad Commls,
s;oner has been nominated for Congress
by the Republicans of the Fifth Iowa
District. after they had balloted l45 times
IN five other candidates.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

Mrs. Mary Morey, Of Camden, N. j.,
writes: ''Brown's Iron Bitters has cured
me of much suffering and distress result
ing from dyspepsia, urinary trouble, and
weak lungs, 1t has made me very regu-
lar in my habits, and | feel in perfect
health. Life is very happy to me now"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

THE Ohio Wesleyan University, at
Delaware, has 672 students, according to
the catalogue just published-the largest
number. with one, or, possibly, two, ex-
ceptions. west Of the mountains.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
! I,r RepubHrar.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE q, 1882.

r. H, BAKER, of Racine, has been re-
appointed one of the government direct
ors of the Union Pacific Railway.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

HENRY Ward Beecher says: "Onr arls-
tocrats are of spontaneous growth. They
come ND as the toadstools do-on the rot
teness of the dunghill."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
STATE OF WISCONSIN-County Cour
for Jefferson County.-In Probate.

Notice is hereby given that at special term
of the County Court, to be held in and for said
county, at the Court House, in the city of Jeffer
being the 18th day of July, A. D., 1882. at ]
O'Clock in the afternoon, the following matters
will heard and considered
The petition of Barbara Meka for the admis
sion to probate of the last will and testament OF
Joseph Meka late of the City of Watertown. in
Jefferson County, State of Wisconsin, deceased:
and that letters testamentary be to her issued
thereon.
Dated this 10th day Of Juue A. D. 1882
By order of the court.
HENRY COLONIES,
36w4 County Judge.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

@A 80 @ week IN your own town. So
VHnoutft free. No.risk Ever9ythi ign
I'M new Capital not required: we
OOOwill furnish you everything Many
are making fortunes Ladies make as much
as men, and boys and girls make great pay.
Reader. if you want business at which you can
make great pay all the time you work, write for
particulars to- IT, HALLETT y Co.., Portland,
Maine, 12yl
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

Oh Music by Prof Clauder's Celebrated Oh
AZ Military Band OF Milwaukee, ~
Consisting of 20 Instruments
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
CRAPS SPECIFIC MEDsea
TRADE MARkThe Great Eng. TRADE MARK

lnelnOTy, uHIVEIstti- l11SoI'e1g4V,
pain in the back, dimness Of vision, premature
old age. and many other diseases that lead to
insanity or consumption and premature grave
Full particulars in our pamphlet. which we &c
sire to send free by mail to every one. The
Specific medicine is sold by all druggists atSl
per package, or six packages TOR s., or Will be
sent free by mail on receipt of the money. by adj
dressing THE GRAY MEIlCALCO.
Buffalo, n y
On account of counterteits, we have adopted
the Yellow Wrapper the only genuine Guaran-
tees of cure issued.
Sold in WatertoWn by II. L. Eberle. 5lyI
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

MARSHAL otthe Day: G. II. GARDNER.
Park to be illuminated during the whole
Evening.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

written by himself: Is full page Illustrations;
price s. 81 Ouiriyals ''Uncle TOMS Cabin" in
Thrilling ~ tunautie int rest with the added
charm that every word i trle, marvellous
story most graphically told and ois great historic
value. This volume will be eagerly sought
for by the hundreds OF thousands gho have
watched the remarkable career and have been
thrilled by the e!1qC2nce Ofths wonderful man.
The work gives an account 81 many Interviews
with prom ,ueut men aud n&Icates many anec-
dotcs concerning them unknown 10 the general
public Itabounds in many graceful touches
both OF wit and elOquence.
"IIc is such q remarkable .Ean that people like
to read about him, and no wonder. Boston
CongregatioaaIiSt.
sit is as aspiring as a poem. Homaa'S Jour
nal.
'.No stranger story has been, or ever will be
told. "-BOst0R advertiser.
cit is more absorbing tale than any creation
of fction."-9foy (N. " Times.
Destined to a wide sale."-Hdrtford C0urdnt
''1he whole storyis exceedingly well told
Rochester Democrat.
Address j. S. GOODMAN d CO., Chicago, H.
34W4
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21
Fire Works at Turner-Park.

AIunscesor. On he Island 10 cents Chill
AuMAoSAOu' dren under II years free if ac-
companied by their parents. Admission to the
Ball so cents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-21

xAY - a. , Agent -.>,oI tiIIs as tnu cages
Wv OF rDmance-from the low, st depths ,. sla-
eryt to po, ton among the first in the land.
ellie and Times Of