The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1882-06-15
IDLE PARAGRAPHS!

WHY is house, cleaning and carpet-laying time like
happy army? Because ''hard-tack is abundant.
THE only man who voted against the temperance
resolution in the County Convention, Eli Backus
And he only did it for the glory Of Flint Run.
MR.. BLAINE is reported to be making money rap
idly, and to be now quite wealthy. James, would
rather be rich than be President.
THEY now tell that President Arthur went fishing
on Sunday. Are they trying to bring him out asa
Democratic candidate for the Presidency?
WE occasionally hear Of person who abuses Presi-
dent Arthur, and calls him "the acting President"
Such does this because such person is an idiot
REED made another motion in behalf of Guiteau,
and failed. The next motion in behalf of the assassin
will not fail. 1t will be the motion Of the hangman.
BLANCHE ROOSEVELT TUcKER-MAccHErTA has
written a biographyof Longfellow. She is supposed
to be descendant of the original ''Old Dan Tucker
At least judge from the extrac is have read
THE debt of the City Of New York is over ninety
seven millions. 1t affords fellow some consolation
to think how much off the City of New York is
than the rest ofus.
"Now,n says Blatherem, 1--WE must keep Trimmer
in Congress- because he understands the of things
better than new would" Query: How did
Trimmer acquire his knowledge. Was he not once
new member?
GEN. RosECRANs has written to his constituents
that he wants to be reelected to Congress. Most
members do-and they don't care how often There's
nothing mean about Congressman when it comes to
accepting a reelection.
AN Indiana Minister said: 1--WE are living with
telephone at each Christian mouth" That's right
If there is anybody who needs protection over his
mouth, it is preacher in Indiana.
EVEN Halstead admits that there is hope of
the Republican party escaping crushing defeat next
fall And this in face of the fact that the loafer is
driven around to the back door Sunday, while the
baby is allowed to drink its milk with impunity
THE Cincinnati loafer thinks he could afford to de
without his beer on Sunday, IL the law compelled
babies to do without milk. As the loafer compares
himselfto baby he cannot complain If the law gives
him vigorous spanking.
wM. STEVENSON, of Gladwin, Mich, went home
late and his wife refused to let him in. Them just
for joke, William began climbing in at the window.
Then, just to continue the joke his wife seized
volver and shot him through the head. What fun
they do have up in Michigan!
AN Ohio man who had worked faithfully all the
week. demanded his pay on Saturday evening. "All
rightn said the negligent employer, "Il give you a
checkr' mo, ye don't, me darlint," said the en-
ploye, 'me pay has bin CHECKED long enough-rd
loike to it comm eetle freely" The funds
were Immediately put into the hands of Receiver.
SPEAKING of ornamentation, Oscar Wilde says:
I'm Switzerland the small boy beauties the porch of
his fathers house, why should not American boys do
great deal more?' They will, Oscar! You just give
American boy jack-knife and piece of keel
and Swiss boy touch his ornamentation of
the porch, the whole side OF the house. for that
matter.
SMATHERs caught his boy lighting cigar, and up
braided him therefor. But the youth-who had just
returned from Sunday School-looked at his. father
insolently and said: "And God said Let there be
light m q sslipht'' that
youngster in such manner that there nothing to
be seen but cloud of suspenders buttons, matches,
cigars and flying fingers. 1t lesson with an ap-
plication.