Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-10-27
SWcethenrtS and Wives.


In a recent letter on "Courtship and
Matrimony," with particular reference
to women, DR.. Madeira, Il Jewish Rabbi,
said:
lnludiciOus marriages are causing
much unhappness in the world. In the
ilrst place rs to the.sOcial position of the
parties. While we are no great stickler
for social position, yet it is necessary
that some attention should be paid to it.
While it is not very important with a
man, it is with woman. A husband
takes his wife into his own social
position, whether it is to lift her up or
drag her down to it. The woman who
marries beneath her is apt to cut her
self off from the old associations of
friends and family. She will be made
to feel this very bitterly; and in many
instances the result is that, seeing her
friends and family looking down upon
her husband, she comes finally to rec og-
nze his inferiOrlty and regard him with
disgust. God intended that a wife
should look up to her husband with a
trustful and affectionate respect, and
not to look down upon him rs her infe.
Aioi' ''uNi lii'tl al Z iiOb lDl Iutlttlt
The sweetheart relation should be
guarded very carefully, because when
once formed there is such a glamour
upon the eyes that they can not see
things as they are. After marriage it is
too late. 1t is difficult thing for the
young lady to believe that the young
man of her choice has had bad habits. If
any one has the frankness to tell her of
them, she either thinks there is some
mistake about it, or that her informant
is actuated by malicious motives, or that
her betrothed will now lay them aside.
Some heroic maidenS say: "Well, |
will marry him despite his bad habits.
| will marry him and reform him."
There may be few such cases of refor-
nation, but in nine cases out of ten the
man goes to the dogs, and takes the
devoted young woman along with him.
If she had known ut the outset the style
of man he was, she would not have snf-
fered her heart to become interested in
him; but afterward she has not the
moral strength to conquer her attach
ment.
Bat vicious habits are not the only
ones that wreck the happiness of mar
ried life. There may be bad temper,
there may be untruthfulness and insin-
cerity, there may be cOarseness, there
may be habits which are not domestic,
there may be an arbitrary and tyranni-
cal disposition. There may be many
wrong dispositions that wreck the hap
piness of married life. If young ladies
were little more guarded in coming
,,,t I,, L.
ton, there would not be so manv wives
with crushed spirits and broken hearts.
Let me advise YOU rs TO the behavior be-
coming this relationship. The sweet
heart relationship anticipates marriage,
whether as yet it has progressed to en-
gagement or not. In view of this, we
would remind you that you should in all
respects bear yourself in such way as
to win the respect and confidence of the
man you expect to call your husband.
Many foolish girl, in the intimacy OF
the sweetheart relationship, has utterly
lost the confidence of the man who had
come to admire her, although he him.
self may have been most at fault. No
man of self-respect and pride of charac-
ter will be willing TO marry the woman in
NuOiil Ilt Ills iiol Gutiic touliticllCc. clt
who is not unapproachably modest as q
sweetheart will be justly liable to sus-
picion as wife.
If young ladies knew how almost ev-
cry immodesty they suffer comes to light
and is made the subject of gossip and of
jest, it would make them careful, even
if their native self-respect and pride of
character were not sufficient. Perhaps
marriage does not take place between
you and the man who makes you the
subject of his attentions. am sorry to
say that men are not always rs manly
rs they ought to be in regard to such
matters, and oftentimeS make mention
OF them to their companions, and thus
everybody comes to know of them
But even if the gentleman should be
more discreet than that, it may turn out
that he at length marrieS some other
person, and some time or other, when
your name is mentioned between them,
he tells his wife what he knows about
you. Then she-in confidence, of course
mentions the matter to some other
lady friend; and SO the information be.
comes public property.