The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1882-12-14

The Kansas City Times and Evening
Star are somewhat severe in their STRIFE
lures upon the grammar employed by
the journal. We regard it as mark of
financial sagaciry that the latter paper
accommodates its syntax 20 its Missouri
circulation.
1t is affirmed upon the authority OF an
eminent naturalist that the grasshopper
has, according TO its size, 100 times the
kicking power Of an average man. 1t
may be proper TO supplement this state
ment by the reminder that Sid Clarke is
rather more than an average man."
The cowboys have killed five city
marshals at Caldwell. this state, and it
is becoming very difficult 10 fluid a man
who will accept the position. This
trouble may be promptly obviated if our
Ohio exchanges will be so kind as to
copy this item.
Junction City Union: 'Time and
things change. In 1868 Geo. w. Click
drew the plank in the Democratic plat
form against negro suffrage. In 1888
he will draw his salary as governor on a
warrant issued by McCabe, the colored
auditor of the state of Kansas"
1t is estimated that the business inter-
ests of the country employ 100000 tray-
cling statesmen, at an average salary of
$1,000 each, which aggregates the enor-
nous sum of $G0O,OOO,OO0. OF course
all this comes eff the consumer. We
should say there is chance for reform.
An eccentric Boston man, delighted
and surprised by getting pair of boots
made just to his mind, forthwith gave
the maker an order for 263 pairs. We
infer that this gentleman must have
family of "grown-upn girls who are
disposed to receive the attentions Of
young men who are disiastcful To their
recalcitrant papa.
An abstemious Scotchman wishes to
have the Burns anniversary celebrated
at Topeka without whisky. 1t is need
less TO add that this proposition to rival
the absurdity of producing Hamlet with
the title role omitted is severely ridi-
culed by the representatives of the local
press who are expected 10 be present on
that occasion.
It is a law among certain tribes Of
Indians as the Omahas, Iowas, Otos and
Missouris, that widow must remain
four years without rcmarrying. Elk.
IRENE cruelty to women has always been
one of the cardinal characteristics of the
aboriginal tribes, which are rapidly be-
coming extinct before the all-conquer
| ing march of civilization
The only thing in the world that any
person could possibly have against the
Wilson County Citizen Is the depraved
style which the editor has adopted in
compromising the names of counties
with the suffix "cO."-lower case Sc
Aside from this photographed idiosyn.
Grassy the character of Brother Gilmore
is singularly free from reproach.
Mr. John Walters, of Americas, Ca,
awoke the other night with the firm
conviction that he was about TO die, and
with consideration as rare vs. 1t was
delicate. he arose, dressed himself, and
went ont to secure couple of his friends
to sit up with his corpse, in order that
his wife might not be left alone with
the awful calamity which was about to
overtake her. The next day he went
around in perfect health telling nf his
mysteno US revelation.
Inter-Ocean: There was another raid
on the gamblers last night, and a sue
cessful one, Mike McDonald's notorious
place furnishing seveniy-onc prisoners
for the police to take to the armory
This looks like business, and if Super
intendent Doyle will keep it up, he will
be popular and respected official. He
Is entitled to the thanks and congralula
tons of the community for what he has
done, and we hope he will continue in
the good work he has 81 effectively in.
augurated-
Kansas City Times: The railroad
agents. attorneys and political managers
headed by Jay Gould's financial agent
are preparing To attack the convention
to be held at Abilene, Kansas, on the
18th inst. They may try TO staye of
tor time the complete revolution il
railway charges that is coming, but theil
better and safer way will be to meet tht
convention in spirit of fairness. anC
do voluntarily and with q good grac'
what they will soon be compelled to d.
whether they will or not. 1t will b
idle to stop the agitation until full jus
tiee is obtained.
A medical scientist of eminent rank
asserts that very many persons simply
by deep and rapid Limitations of pur
air can become as thoroughly intoxicai
ed en- oxygen as If they had taken
draught OF alcoholic stimuIants. Thi
revelation abundantly vindicates the Law
abiding spirit of the people at the stat
capital. 1t can now be safely assumes
that when Topeka man waltzes up t
his front door at 2 O'Clock IN the mora
ing and grapples with the mechanics
feat of attempting to unlock it with
cork-screw he is simply ILLUSTRATING
the effects of accelerated respiration in
: stead of giving expression TO his bite
hostility TO the prohibitory amendment
The successful exhibition at Ailanl
has given birth to project for a Gel
tennial cotton exhibition in 1884, undo
!, the direction of the National Cotton
: Planters Association, sin such city 8
. shall offer the greatest inducement
q 1t is understood that Cincinnati, "ti
/, Paris of America" win so far oyereon
; its native modesty as to present i
claims to be selected as the place for Il
great show. The appropriateness of u
: date lies in the fact that in 1874 elgl
e bales of cotton, the first shiDment FRO
e this country, were seized IN England {
l. board an American vessel, on q
J. ground that they could not have bee
o grown in the United States, and theI
II fore were Liable 10 seizure, having be
II imported in vessel not belonging
n the country in which they were pr
dueed.