The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-26
WIT AND HUMoR.
Many people think Anapias was an


amateur fisherman,
Al Powder Magazine A druggists
slsAp.
Mss Cary. the wsrblists is married,
and her physicians say she can not sing
for year. Wonder why?
INV Wife remarked Pitznoodle. lis
fairly crazy over fashions. She got the
delirium trimmins.
Hypocrisy is shaking hands with your
: neigislpof. and then. when his back is
turned, kicking his dog in the ribs.
Talking about difficult feats, did you
ever attempt to select a name for a
baby?''
People say that blaekberries are good
for the. complexion, but who wants a
j black berry complexiOna
before marriage she was dear and he
was her treasure, but afterward she be-
!. came dearer and he treasurer.
IAN Arkansas girl refused to marry
her lover anless he performed some
heroic deed. Heelopedwithher mother.
A fool in high station is like mar IN
balloon re very body appears little to
him, and he appears little toeverybody.
The girl who sets her heart on any
thing should be very careful that some
young fellow doesn't, come along and
steal it.
1t is the father of-twins who knows
what it is to be mp all night with the
!, boys. or with The girls, for that matter,
as the case happens to be. as5s.s.
& "A Milwaukee woman has kept ket-
tie of boiling water on the stove every
night for the past twenty-five years in
order to seald burglars.
Annie Louise Cary's husband, Mr..
Raymond, says that since her marriage
she has entirely recovered her voice.
We thought she would.
How mucfe' said an English judge
at the close of a recent trial of breach,
of-promise case. This is the shortest
charge to a jury on record.
Does your mother play cards?'' in,
quired Billy of his chum. Il don't
Know responded Jimmy: ..but she of.
ten plays q lone hand on me-
The latest .esihetic slapg when ladies
reprove their :.dlnifing gentlemen
friends is: lyon ffatter too awfully per-
feet much."
All-broke-up young mani YES. a
rose by another name would smell as
sweet, and you'd get your fingers hurt
just as often by the thorns about it,"
A girl who sets out to look graceful
in hammock has as much work on
hand as the man who tries to be languid
with saw-log following him down s
hill.
What q curious idea that is of yours
my dear, to put your poor dead hus-
bands portrait in your dining roomr'
.sOh, put him there as a bit of still
Iife.''
Ladies, when being courted, ought
not to object to the moderate use of to
bacco. They should recoilect that
where there is a s'ilame'' there must be |
some smoke.
When a young lady asked to look al
a parasol, the clerk said: will you |
al expect-the- parasal to give me the |
shade 1 WANT said the young lady.
The clergymen of Lampass supply
the prisoners in Jail with manuscript
sermons to read during their leisure
hours. The way of the transgressor is
hard, very hard.
A negro congregation at Austin, Tex.
thought their pastor had their color in |
mind when ne frequently spoke of ''the !
powers of darkness, and requested him |
to stop such talk or resign.
When a man says he is miserable \
if you take him at his word and
tell him you agree with him, he will
well, it's, on the whole, better not to dc /
it till you get on the other side of the |
fence. F
A Virginia man and his wife walked |
twenty seven miles, carrying their baby.
to see circus. They know now how
sublime it is to suffer for a great pur.
pose.
Our White-Pine Supply.
The announcement made. by authori-
y of Government bureau that the
forests of the United States
would at thepresent rategof consumption
furnish less than twelve years. supply of
hat indispensable timber, although
copied into most of the papers, has NOT
'eoeivesa the general attantionl which it
deserves, and probably will not until
he advancing cost of pine lumber
brings the lesson forcibly home to the
public mind. This advance has, how
ven, already begun, the price of land
d the great timber-producin States
laving doubled within few weeks, and
of