Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-12-28
THE BAD BOY In LOVE.
His Vivid Description Of How 1t Felt,
and How Bad He Had 1t.
[P.ok'. SUM-

sAre you Christian asked tn
bad boy Of the groceryman. as tina
gentleman was placing vegetables ou
in front ofthe grocery one morning
"Well, hope so, answered the gro
cery man, ~ try to do what is right
and hope to wear the golden crow
when the. time comes to close my
books" "Then how is it that you pu
out box Of great big sweet potatoes
and when we order some, and they
come to the table, they are little bits
OF things not bigger than a radish;
Do you expect to go to heaven ON such
small potatoes, when you use big one,
for a sign?" asked the boy as he took
out o silk handkerchief and brushed q
speck of dust off his nicely blacked
shoes. The grocery man blushed and
said he did not mean to take any such
advantage of his customers. He said
1t must have been o mistake of the
boy that delivers groceries. "Theu
you must hire the boy to make mis-
takes, for it has been SO every time we
have had sweet potatoes for FIVE years, !
said the boy. sAnd about green corn.
You have few ears stripped down
to show how nice and plump it is and
if we older a dozen ears, there are
only two that have got any corn on at
all, and paand ma gets them, and the
rest of us have to chew cobs. Do you
hope to wear a crown Of glory on that
kind of corn?" 20, such things will
happen, said the groceryman with a
laugh, But don't let's talk heaven.
Let's talk about the other place.
How's things ever to your house?
And say, what's the matter with you2
You are all dressed up, and have got
clean shirt on, and your shoes
blacked, and l notice your pants are
not raveled out SO at the bottoms of
the legs behind. You are not in love,
are you?" "Well, l should SMILE
said the boy, as he looked In small
mirror on the counter, covered with
fly specks. "a girl got mashnd on
me, and ma says it is good for a boy
who hasn't got no sister, to be IN love
with a girl, aud SO l kind of tumbled
to it myself, and she don't 60 nowhere
without 60 with her. l take her to
dancing school, and everywhere, and
she loves me like house afire. Say,
was You ever in love? Makes fellow
feel queer, don't it? Well sir, the
first time went home with her, put
myiarm around her, and honest it
scared me. 1t was just like when you
take hold Of the handles of lectric
battery, and you can't let 60 until the
man turns the knob. Honest, | was
just as weak as cat. | thought she
had needles in her belt, and was going
to take my arm away but it was just
Gkeit was glued on. I asked her if
she felt that way too, she said it was
nothing when you got used to it. That
mademe mad. But she is older than
mesand knows more about it. When
l was going to leave her at the gate,
she kissed me, and that was worse than
putting my arms around her. By
gosh, trembled all over just like l
had the chills, but | was as warm as
toast, She wouldn't let go for much
as q minute, and | was as tired as
though had been carrying coal up
stairs. Ididn't want to 60 home at
all, hut she said it would be the best
way for me to 60 home and come the
next day, and the next morning went
to her house before any Of them were
up, and her pa came out to let the cat
in, and | asked him what time his girl
got up, and he LATED and said / had
gotsit bad, and that I had better go
home and not be picked until l got
ripe. "Say, how much does it cost to
get marrled?" "Well l should say
you had got it bad," said the grocery
man, as he set cut a basket of beets.
"Yopr getting in love will be great
thing for your pa. You won't have
any time to play any more jokes on
him. @, guess we can find time to
keep pa from being lonesome. Have
you seen him this morning? You
ought 10 have seen him last night,
You see, my chums pa has got setter
dog stuffed. 1t is one that died two
years ago and he thought deal of it,
and ,he stuffed it for an ornament.
Well mychum and me took the dog
and put itton our front steps, and took
some cotton and fastened it to the
dogs mouth so it looked just like
froth, and we got behind the door and
waited for pa to come home from the
theatre. When pa started to come up
hsssteps | growled, and pa looked at
the dog and said, mad dog, my Grim
u.s. and he started down the sidewalk
and my chum barked just like q dog,
andaI Ky via, and gfcwled like q dog
getting licked, and you out to see pa
run. He run around in the alley and
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