The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1882-10-13
SELECTED BLOCKS.


From Paragraphic Blockheadf AL OSer
| the Land.
| Never address your conversation to q person
| engaged In footing up column OF ngures.
| There's nothing 80 deaf as an adder.
| II anybody ever longs to be millionaire, it is
the youth who treats his girl to soda water, and
| then ands he has mistaken button in his pocket
| for dime.
NJ de Lesseps does not like the English, aud a
| few weeks ago, discovering that he was wearing
| collar Of English make took 1t of, threw 1t on
| the ground and danced on it. This is the story
told by the pap RS but it is feared the true cause
was that the collar refused to stay buttoned at
| the back, and was working up over MS heau'-
| [Ol City Derrick.
One Of the younger Coquelns stories relates
| that during a visit to Brighton Sara Bernhardt
lay down on the beach dressed In white. She was
brusQuey awakened from her reveres by wash
erwoman, who picked her up, having mistaken
her for bath towel laid out to dry.-[N. y Com
mercial Advertiser.
1t has now been discovered, by aid Of the mi
crophone or sound magnitier, that nes have
language of their own. II the English scientist
who made the discovery will drop round to our
editorial rooms and dellcately cross-eXamlne one
of the ten thousand brutes which roost upon US
when we are writing, and find out how he got in,
we will give him diamond as big As cut-glass
inkstand.
"Pretty wife-kin," said Herr x. to his young
neighboress, "give you me yet a kisslet; ask
only out of curiosity, because | gladly would
know whether it from your mouth sWeeter tastes
than that of my frau :" "Neighnor,n repliea s sne
your dear frau many a kiss gwen; ne must II
know."-[Translated literally from the German
A traveller was leaning at night against rail-
ing at Harpers Ferry railroad statlon loco
motive came along, and he sprang lightly over
the rail to escape possible danger. He thought 1t
was a meadow on the other side, but knew MS
mistake when he struck in muddy stream lofty
feet below On being rescued he was asked his
name 81 wouldn't tell you my name Tor thous-
and dollars," he replied; "describe me Is Simply
fool"
1t was Mixes third appearance in court within
30 days. and in reply to mis- usual appeal for elem
ency the magistrate impatienty observed; IT'S
no use, Mike, you're good for nothing. "l's not
your honueur will borry PAIR of shellalehs and
stip outside wild me I'll make II lncovaynlent TOT
We to howld that opnion--lBrooklyn Eagle.
one day an old Turkey took Walk through
the Meadow to see how the Crops were getting
along. Seeing Hornets Nest by Stone Wall,
she Fondly Imagined she conld Hatcn out the
nts. So she Sat down upon 1t, and did
Hatch out the contents in. about two Seconds.
Five Minutes later she stood filled with Humilia-
ton, Running her Bill through her Feathers ana
Attempting to Count the number Of Perforatons
meg Crater. The Moral OF this Fable teaches US
thal SEATING on other Peoples Property ID Per-
ilous Proceeding; and that there are come hun-
BILE Institutions which cannot De SAT opon.-truck.
The ASS and the Cat.--An ASS one ,iay Observed
a Cat ascend q Tree to Escape from Dog, and a
Bright Idea entered bis head. "When my Mas
tsr comes to set me to Work, shall run up the
Master came, 10 and behold, the ASS Started for
the Nearest Tree at Full Speed, and Ascended
about four Feet when he fell back to the Ground,
and was so Completely Knocked Out OF Shape
| that his Master found II Impossible to ADJUST his
| harness on him, and was obliged to Destroy him
| There and Then. Moral-Never attempt.to be too
Versatile and don't Endeavor to Dodge Honest
Work when YOU have to Work for Living, lest
| Peradventure you get Left--tR K. M. in Puck.
"No, sir" said the shopkeeper. 81 don't think
| you will do. We want man who understands
l -. % nv =
| situation, IN seven different ways, at least, In
| YOUR application." swell, what o. that Amt
that mark Of genius' Doesn't Il show yersatili,
| them fellers that has to spell WORD the same
i way every time. No, sir II that's the kind OF
man yer want you'll have 70 axe , some1ody else
Good moruin'; 50 long, And the versatile spell
Ter walked out with the jaunty air of thirdrate
acior.-lNewport News.
| A friend told a good story the other day. When
| in the country last week she picked sunnower
| I'M the garden and brought II into the house.
Meeting the landlady on the doorstep, she stopped
nolnted to the sunnower, These are called es-
| isn Ilady: III never heard them called anything
| but sunnowers-. Ny friend succeeded In con-
i ceallng her laughter, and rushed on as sOon as
she could politely do 80 10 tell one OF the board
ers, lady OF apparent culture iiom tne Guy.
| Ishment the lady said: al always called them
that tool"
| mischievous boy OF Port Jackson
HIS grsndfafher's cushion put tacks on
Then felgned great surprise
AT seeing MIN rise
And hearing his nerce Anglo-Saxon.
WAIT.
o, October,
1 Thou disorder
OF the bushes and the trees,
bow thou lightly
Same thou orgltiy
| on rs mortals, n you please
/ There are many
4 OIL too many
who'se not yet got oyercoats;
| Please remember
| In November
They expect to sell their v-oats
| -Pshaw.
Personal! To nen only!
THE voLIkIc BELT Co, Marshall, HicA-, VII
| send Dk Drks CELEBRATED kLECTEo-N oLIAlS
| BEITs AND ELEcTklc AFFIIkSCEs on rlAl TOT
thirty DAYS 10 men young or Old who are sfiicies