The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-05-18
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PLEAGANI.RLE&
: TmRz are some promising young mem
who are not careful about keeping their

aFEt TLEANANx.klGS zAs Z
! Tmnn are some promising young mem
who are not careful about keeping their
word, ,zzzr--ssssssz
o3 "I SEE that winter is lingering in the
lap Of spring. The lhorrid thing p
sS~San n q. Dc .H nTstss3 bra ssd@H.uJsi
d ! A WIT being asked, on the failure Of Q
bank, /" Were you not upset ?" repied'
Z" No; only lost my balance"
- TEACHER to small boy: What does
the proverb say about those who live in
glass houses?'' Small boy: !" Pull down
the blinds. .natslgsssiaeo saf - Heii9g.
Ed ssCHAR1fY vaunteth not itself, is not
pqfed up, !" and yet some men expect
puff every time they giyes$1 to an mdi-
gent old ID woman's soeiety.asayH na9llsn
IS A Rgss1AN proyerb says: (" Before go
ing to war, pray once before going to
sea. pray twice; tefore getting married,
pray three times" -.
|ra A RETURNED East Indian was compi-
mentSd on his genial disposition and
large heartedness. EYES," he replied,
g need less heart, but more liver" si''a'
|aa THsioa City Derrick thus sadly NOR
aiikessv sslA great many men would
rather he sreceiver of q. a.defunct insur-
anee company than door tender in the
house Of tn, the Lord ,soY asvo ~
la It does aggrayate q man TO think that,
while his wife isn't afraid to tackle him
and nearly yank his head of, she is
madiy terrorized by a COW that he can
chase out OF the yard at any time.
I'VE look for the support Of every old
woman IN this county when we boldly
assert that there are not three members
lof Congress who know to within three
hours when softsoap is ready to WAX
Detroit Free. Press slSsaia II q n
lgoFRoM the the album of the Countess
de B.: "Men always. say, eH You do
1 not love me, I will kill myself, Later
on we say to them: IF you love me no
longer r shall de- And, in the end,
nobodyis buried" 2aiiE15SaesaSb ''-s1s'
ADMIRATION s"By shimniny, how
dot poy studies grammer," was the re-
mark of d German when his son called
him "A e "knock-kneed, pigeon-toed,
seven sided, glazed-eyed son of saw
orsee;as .sss1iS saom .eviass5zs 70 iesi3.
I "a MINISTER at Richmond, Va, recent
ly swooned while marrying his old
sweetheart to another man. II his part
of the ceremony made him swoon, what
1 nerve the man who was married must
havelhad to stand upfunder it. ABosto,s
] Post. 81 ass Sd a4At neiz9iYnos 3 eaas
"A NOTED physician says many persons =
simply by deep and rapid inhalations of
pure air, can become. as Intoxicated son
]toxygen as if they had taken q draqght
l'of alcoholic stimulants. Here is point
i for the man who has been walking rap
idly home from the club in the night
air 81 sf he53sIsTsg ese sieI9ti4s
s.Wrr1tan,, Andrew" pa gentleman re-
/ marked TO a Scotchman, who, with his
brother, was the only remnant of a mar
| row sect, ~ suppose you and Sandy
are are the only bodies who will get to
heaven, now?" tDeed, sir" replied
Andrew, shaking his head, ''an' I'm mo-
| 81, sure about Sandy"
- THERE was young lady in Worcester
~. So scared by . crow Of rorcester, e4S
"a That her mother cried, Hannah, ,ts
e I'm surprised at your mannah!
@S Why don't you behave as you ucester9
tw. A QUIET young nan from Shanghai Il
-. Indulged in apiece Of rnince pai; 7
Il His life work is DER
sse'1 S His form here no moer sfzzsfga "a T. -
Il Willvisible be to thead. So i,F eahl T.
,toYAf q whale exhibition, a youngster
]iasked his mamma if the whale that swal-
1 lowed Jonah had as large mouth as the
one before them why didn't Jonah walk
out at one corner. ssi''You must think
i Jonah was afool ;he didn't want to walk
out and get drowned" was the quick re-
/ ply Of q younger brother, before the
mother could answer. ~ 20 'i
4 "THRAsHNa by steam" murmured q
fond mother as she glanced at an article
in an agricultural paper. 'What glt-
ups they dohave nowad days. III had had
one Of those steam thrashefs for my four
boys, my arms wouldn't have been Is
rheumaticky as they are to-day" and
she dreamily thought OF the past as it