Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1882-10-05
NAAT II MEANs.
Result Of the Investigations of
Our Comet Reporter,
Specially Detailed 10 Write On
the Stranger ON the Celestial
boulevard.

The Stranger ON the Celestial
boulevard.
There is probably no subject whlSh has
claimed more of the thought and atten-
uon OF learned men Of all ages than the
sIuoy Of the wonderful beauty and
mechanism of a starlit sky. The world
becomes accustomed TO n grand and
uhcnangeaoie view. and the appearance of
q stranger upon the scene is naturally
regarded with mingled feelings of alarm
and curiosity curiosity to know its. mis-
sion, and alarm that It may have designs
upon our own little third rate planet
Before the invention of the telescope nv
the enemy OF actresses, the coming of a
comet was regarded as portentious Of
some important event, and the impression
Ill exists to a considerable extent in the
minds Of the people. AS our skv il ~
present the scene of the capers of one of
THESE eccentric visitors, our comet re-
porter was detailed TO look up the matter.
interview the comet if possible and throw
all the light he could on an already
luminous subject. Stealing his way to a
h'usetop at an early hour this morning
the reporter began his investigations
unuer the most favorable auspices. A trio
OF eampmeeting cats were also established
upon TINS lofty perch, and if one may
ludge. from the amount of enthusiasm
manifested by them they took an equal
interest IN the celestial phenomenon.
Inc comet, however, seemed perfectly
obvious OF all this applause. 1t simply
looked around to see if its tail was keep
lhg up with the procession and then went
sailing along in q brazen Irritation with
OLD Sol. The latter old gentleman was
very RED IN the face. He had Just arisen
from his little bed, and had perhaps been
surprised by the comet in the act oftakinp
his little morning tip of blue lick. Any
way, he was plainly seen to wine his
mouth with the bough of a tree far off on
the horizon. The comet soon after tucked
its tail and disappeared, but during the
short time it remained visible enough had
been seen of it to form several theories as
to the probable meaning of its appearance
at this particular junet1re.
In the first place, it is no small affair.
and rivals in eiulgency the face Of a sue
eessiul politician. In the next place it is
flirting with old Sol. Therefore, it has
something to do with the Matrimonial
Association boom, and the boom is foolinr
around mighty close to a pretty hot
place. Again, the comet has a tail
varlously estimated at from two
yards to two billion miles
In length. Modern scientists of certain
school declare this a~ppendage to be caused
by the rapid motion of the comet throuoh
the air, but there are a good many things
they do not declare. They saw nothing Of
the theory that it is PROBABLY a train Of
brilliant thought evolved from the biz
heat Of the traveller, nothing oftho theory
that 1t may be "a collection Of myriads Of
disappointed otice-seekers in an eyerlast-
ing pursuit Of a cometized man and voter
who Is seeking Il red hot hole in the sun to
crawl into. They do not intimate that il
is symbolical Of the probable attitude of
matrimonial policy holders towards a
matrimonial agent, nor do they encourage
the hope that the comet will remain n
rival Of the b%reastpins of hotel clerks and
a cause of Notifying shame to the whole
fraternity. But let us pause. (Thecomet
needn't do so, unless it is tired CARRYING III
tail around, in which case it will please re-
move 1t and put it in its pocket before sit
ting on the nice new ebony-inlaid-with-
pearl editorial table.) The m~odernisooth.
sayer or essayist, however, who does not
believe IN class Legislation, teaches that
the appearance OF the comet has a general
meaning. 1t is an awful warning to the
world to put on brakes and scotch the
hlnd wheel with a chunk ofcommon sense.
The politician who harps upon the sa-
cred rights Of the people with one hand
while he quietly takes a pinch of CORPORA.
ton snuff with the other, is warned that
the day Of gush is past. The man and The
voter who Is always anxious to assure a
successful candidate that he cast a solid
shot for HIM every time, is warned of a
coming reform in the civil service. The
Governor OF the great State of Tennessee
IS warned that q man may be known TO |
his countrymen as G%randdaddy Hawkins
without being enthusiastically reelected
The sky blue leader is warned of the boI.
Of his cause, and General Rate ;s
urged to use all his energies for success
The wearer of previous coats is warned ofl
the search for the missing link, and his |
probable capture TO supply It. The Young
lazy, VINO thinks ma ought TO do all the
hard work while She soaks her hands and
lace In cream and her head in friyoiities.
Is warned that the best young men are
looking for the most servicea6le wives
The club-yisiting husband is warned OF "a
woman in white preparing a stumn
speech for his return, and the wife on her
part is warned to put more of her talent in
her apple dumplings and white aprons,
and less in her front hair and silk skirt.
For the oily Of Memphis, in particular.
comet means many things. It means
that the day Of crowded, electric lit streets.
busy stores and mammoth manufactures
close at hand. That an era OF unpreee-
prosperity is about to dawn. and
that the good citizen should keen alive,
As it is necessary to get up early In the
morning to see the comet, so Is 1t necessary
for the live citizen to be awake at once. to
rub his eyes and look about him at the
new field for enterprise, and to 60 to work
with a vim. THE comet can now out on
is tail again and retire.)