National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-04-15
FUN, FACT, FICTION.

IL seems to need companion picture something
like this.
Strange that winters leo and snowballs
Never seem 40 sweet 10 man,
AS In August when he's painting,
Dressed up In palm leaf IAN
Union-Ar0us.-
Orange County, Florida, has 5000 people, and
only three paupers They all take winter boardeu
down there.
"He has Florentne, fourteenth century
frenzy" sad the aesthetic, he beheld tho man
with the jimjams
woman in Worcester Mass who gave birth
to twins fourteen months ago. has Just produced
trplets. None got away.
Mr.. q. W. Chlds, of Philadelphia. owns tho
original manuscript OF NJ jor Andres satirical
poem, " The Cow Chace."
At tho annual meeting in New York city ro-
Gently Of the Society for the Pre,e tlon Of Vice,
cx-Postmastcr- General James delivered tho ad-
dress. Whewl
The salary of President Grevy, of the French
republic, is $4,000 year. He lives within H. but
Marshal MacMahon when president spent about
S20OOO0 year.
1t is only within the last few years that police
men have discovered that coffee doesn't prevent
sleep at night There were years and years when
they dare not drink It,
Aunt" Has any one been ut these preservesP"
Dead silence. Have you touched them, JIMMY"
| lows me talk at dinner"
The New England Congregational Church, e
| Chicago, has received ON scrooby, England, Il .
blptismal font used by Elder Brewster nearly
three hundred years ago.
| Nine per cent of Yale graduates become clergy
| mcn.-Ex. Probably this is caused by remorse for
| the crimes which they committed when they VIC
ON the football team Colombia Spectator.
new row of business houses at Charlotte Mich.
has been named Old Maids Block by the owner
who is maiden OF forty, and rather proud Of hay
ing made fortune for herself as a mllliner.
| AThe lucky number 1887 in the recent Louisi-
ana Lottery drawing, which drew $4,000, was held
| by LOWS Sausser, jeweler, and Washington I.
Whitney an engineer, residing at Fort Wayne, Ind.
william Black is 10 write n new novel, the scenes
of which will be in Egypt. Stand from under
when William gets his Scotch dialect into tho
mouth Of an Egyptian mummy.-Ne,O Haven Reg
| lister.
London Truth states that the Queen Is not abba
| to put by more than 100000 yenr on an average
| Poor thingl Let's knock off on this Betty and
the baby business and rescue Vic from the jaw
ofsqualor,
General G. A. Whittier, Of Boston, Is putting UP
OH Beacon street the finest house ever seen In the
Hub--seven stories high, over fifty rooms, tho
largest wne-cellar in the country, and 10 cost
about 100000.
The Chicago Times has discovered anothei
crank" He is "the prominent stalwart Repub-
lcan Congressman who declares that President
Arthur will pardon the assassin on the ground
that he is insane
Yes, Charlie; you are right in Directing TO tho
principle that bull dog is entitled to the whole
of the sidewalk; but If no wants II, you'd better
let him have It. That is unless you feel like hay
ing bite Of somehing.
A bill will soon be presented in Congress to re-
duce the Amy one.balf This is wrong. The army
should always be large enough so that base ball
match can be arranged without putting civilians
in the left and centre field.
"when the swallows homeward 1y," ''when tho
bloom is on the rye" .And the corn is gently
waving, Annie dear" Twill meet you at the gate"
though It may be rather late, and the hundrcdth
time pour taffy in your ear.
"You natter me- said thin exquisite the othes
day to young lady who WINS praising the beautiei
of his moustache. I" For heavens sake, sis" in
terposed, and old skipper "don't make that
, masher any latter than heis"
shoemaker was arrested for bigamy and
brought before tho magistrate. (Which wife,
asked bystander will he be obliged TO talSe2"
| Smith, always ready at joke replied He lisa
, cobbler, and of course must stick to his last"
) The Little Rock papers mitigate the crime of a
; man who committed suicide there last week by
saying 1t his first ofIense. Very likely he had
Q have made the attempt soonor.-7erds SVlipgs.
, An Austin young man was seen coming hurredly
! ont of a business house, which he had entered to
7 solicit employment as a salesman. Did the boss
| engage you as salesman "No he wanted mo
to travel" was the ambiguous reply Teas SVtin9s.
{ The people who insist that we ought to thrash
Chill, sutjugate Mexico, annex Canada, set Ire
@ land free, and capture the north pole, dead OIL
alive, might do well to remember that this coun-
| nj IL itq
# men.
A Shelton boy having swallowed silver quar-
ter his parents put six doses of castor oil in i'm.
g mediate pursuit. Not being quick silver It wal
l. caught dntUry NeiOs. 1t probably was mol
5. mutated or he could not have passed it.-URton'
g argus.
1t DR.. Hammond says when you stick your lngel
in your ear the roaring sound you hear is the cir
% culaton in your fngor.-NetO York Tribune DE-
S. Hammond is wrong. The roaring is your wifei
Of talk just the same II was before you put you
rs finger In your ear.
q "Ho old fellow, do you know that some of YOU
l, enemies at the club are circulating ugly stories
u about you--say thai so-and-so slapped your face
% publicly last week." "Well, he did, and l have
cut him dead ever since. What moro do thel
IT want ?"-Paris paper.
:. A writer In the London Times says Of orator
. that, England has two orators left. France ha
y at least one. The American Union has not few
~ When Senator Hoar heard this read he smiled
n blandly and remarked that, "English writers as
=, rule are fine judges of us fellows"
r. "Pll bet you go to ten cents there was cock
10 fight last night said one employee Of the cotton
h gin company to another the other day. How
n the dickens did you know" "0h just saw
g drum stick poking out of your dinner can" "B.
"A gosh Jim, you got Inc down fne."-Net0 LOndoi
or Day.
- We would like to know from Mr.. Pearson no,
ri many appointments of scapegoat ncphews, unclef
and even aunts Of newspaper editors aud reporter
has 1t taken to gag the press of New York. Let u
:. have congressional investigation. We want ligh
=. thrown on the New York st-ofhce,-Net0 Yor
"A Tablet.
ne An exchange gravely remarks that "Marriag
y" tends to improve the memory" That's as true a
q temperance pledge or a Jonadab's OATH Jus
;. you have little row with your wife, and SEQ how
many blamed mean things she remembers abou
b. you. Just you try it-but pshaw, you've beei
there.
Story, the American sculptor, in Rome, is givin
". attention to color for statuary, The old statue
ii look so much better than the new" he say
y partly because, although the color is rubbed Of
ty the marble is stained and toned down." Nj
to Story's great Sardanapalus" and Helen" ar
ed to be tinted
ne Charles Kern, says the Helena On. ~ Herald a
IL Austrian Of noble birth, bearing the title Of Earl
I'd Warwick was the first traveller 10 the Yellowston
IT. who wrote description of what he saw TO tn
ct EOstern papers. His descriptions were pronounce
n visionary and preposterous. He committed sucid
US recently at Chamberlain, Dakota.
10 GLORY Is a good thing 10 have In the house: bu