Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-02-16
THE CHR0MIQUE.
Squiggins Dahbies in HE Einn Au


You haven't seen that new invention.
the chromique, have you? Wei, it is a
kind OF second cousin to q chrome Tt
looks like plate of ground glass, and in
the center Is circular place that looks
like transparent glass; but it isn't, for
when the eye is applied to it lovely
colored picture appears. Squiggins
boards mp town, and is a very moral
man. He is devoted to his wife, and she.
poor thing, has always supposed that
the sun rose and set in his mid blue
eyes. Last week she went away to see
her mother, and it was while She was
gone that the chromique peddler called
Il Squiggins' room. The agent e1-
blamed how nicely the chromique
worked, and Souiggins was delighted.
ut said that he boarded with a curious
md OF landlady, and she might grula-
DE even If he took out one of her pane S
:. glass and put in a "a, 900 oil painting .
aat the peddler knew his business. aud.
.eeing that Squigsins was quite taken
with the new invention, he finally per-
.lli,ied him to let hun set pane with
Inc chromlque In 1t In the old transon
Veg the door
80 Squigglns selected mild and love-
~ picture OF Pharaohs daughter finding
,'tle Moses, and was so delighted with
4 that he paid the agent in advance and
thel hurried down town to work. Now
lbs agent took an occasional drink, and
80 elated was he at his good luck that he
went out and took about four too many,
ald when he got back to the room he
couldn't tell a photo of the Niagara falls
from wood-cut of man with a sprink-
ling-pot, and barely remembering that
there was woman In the picture that
Squiggins picked out, he made wild
dive at the lot and tished out picture
OF an actress in very high low suit
(high in the skirt and low in the neck).
tuat was intended only for bar and club
70 ms, and fixing this in nicely he left
the house.
The landlady, meanwhile, had had her
suspicious aroused. She could not I'M
derstand this ground-glass business, and
was convinced that Squiggins was up to
some mischief while his poor, dear wife
was away, and had put up the glass to
keep her from finding it out She did
not propose to have any room in her
house that she could not see into, so, af-
ter trying her usual place, the key-hole.
and seeing nothing, she mounted chair
and looked through the little place in
the transom. The boarders say that
the yell she gave startled even the fat
and lazy people in the institution, and
every woman i'll the house came running
to look at her, and, to crown all, Mr..
Squiggins' wife, who came four days
earlier than she was expected to, came
.rancing up the stairs.
"What is it?" yelled she, taking
leaps that would have paralyzed kan
CARGO.
What?" yelled the landlady, "iuss
look at the brazen-faced thing that you
husband has brought into this house.
my house, my boarding house Look,
yon poor deceived creature, and never
trust man again.
Mrs. S. looked, and then she yelled, and
this hurried up Squiggins, who was just
coming home, and who, thinking from
the yells that some one was beating his
wife, came up stairs even faster than she
did; but, instead of embracing him, his
wife flew at him like tiger, while the
other boarders pointed at the glass and
yelled "Shame " He caught their
gestures and yelled: "It's cromique, "
but his wife only yelled the louder and
scratched and shrieked Eyes, / know
she'sa comique Some variety singer, I'll
warrant" and heaven knows what would
have become Of poor Squiggins but
at this moment four old maids that were
trying to get peep pressed too hard
against the still-soft putty, and the
cromique dropped out and disclosed a
vacant room. This stopped everything,
and Squiggins, after being nearly
Rugged to death by his now-repentant
wife, stamped the glass into a thousand
pieces, and, turning around, then and
there gave the inquisitive landlady
piece OF his mind and commenced pack.
ing up to move. A vacant room is for
rent. You can tell the house t.y seeing
faur Old maids with cut finger, looym.
out TIE windows Hoaastitte ls9us.