Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-04-07
Democrats VIII Garry

UcdnS now say tnat IL Is no use W IeuisliSt
Democrats Will Carry
about one-half of the members of Congress
under any bill that could be passed. Ten
or twelve of the more devout brothers
did not go home over the
last Sunday adjournment. They
wish to study the effect the passage of the
bill would have in the big town. The
goody, goody man of the Republican party
of this State is Attorney General George
h. Nash, and to him the brothers went for
advice and consolation during the pendencyI
of this measure. BnAher Nash advised
them that it was all right, and they waited
in patience the result of the spring elec-
ton, only to meet with great disadpoint-
ment. On Tuesday morning several OF the
sumptuary law makers returned from their
homes aud gathered in the hall OF the
House, where they
Compared Notes
as to what did the business. Brother
Stevens, ofrClermont. thought that the
people of the wicked cities and towns voted
on Monday last, while the pastoral people
remained at home. Pap Van Doom thought
that the big poker game had more to
do with it than the Pond bill.
He thought the party ought to be rebuked
for elcCting poker player as Speaker oil
the House, that the devil was able to ac-
complish his designs by tempting men to
engage in card playing, as completely as he
could with the saloon men.
Brother BOwersON
saws that it was on account OF the canals.
Taking all together there was, in his opin-
ion, too much water and too few ballots Tor
the good Of the Republican party. Mr.
Thorpe thought that the party ought to be
punished for not adopting his substitute
for the Pond bill. Noah III. Swayne, Jr,
of Toledo, who opposed the passage OF the
bill, was feeling well. His city gave an
overwhelming majority for the Democracy
General James, ,OfDeIaware,
one of the most uncompromising sump.
tuary law advocates in the House, thought
that the Pond bill was misunderstood:
I'VE will have to educate the people, said
the General. "The saloon men must not
Govern this country. y little bsck-set Ike
This won't hurt us. The great Re.
publican party Is equal to any emergency.
1t can live down all mistakes, though 1t
NAV suffer defeat now and then 1t can not
be dismiyed. When the time comes, as 1t
will, (foT everything that has beginning
must have All end for this great and pro,
gressiyc party to 90 out OF power, ut will
leave behind il foot steps in the sand OF
time" showing what tempest was brcwed
by small bill. in the state OF Ohio, and
which may be the entering wedge which is
10 divide this great and powerful organiZa-
tiop The brethren spent all day Tuesday
in consoling each other and in finding new
reasons for the Waterloo Of Monday.
Tho Stars and Stripes.
When the august Speaker mounted the
stand, Yesterday morning, at II A. NJ, his
vision rested upon 81 stars and stripes,
which ioyfully fiuttered in the gentle
zephyrs which passed through the hall oi
the House Some thoughtful and en-
thusiastic anti-Pond Bill man had bought
HI all the small flags in the market, and
from the desk OF the REGISTER and every
other anti-sumptuary law paper, and those
of 40 members who voted against the bill,
hoated the glorious star spangled banner
all day long. 1t was magnificent sight
to see the South Carolina corner OF the
House ornament9d by that standard sheet
"by angel hands to yalor given. At all
events, the good and pure members OH the
two TO one majority side were
Sadly Ont Of Humor.
Their freezing and furtiye glances sent g
thrill through the Democratic soul. They
seemed to act and feel as though they were
drifting rudderless, without compass oil
beacon light, over vast and tempcst-tossed
sea of ice, with no anchorage or haven oi
rest in sight or within reach. In joyful
contrast was the appearance Of the Demo
cratic haudful in the southeast corner oi
the chamber, Dispatches were coming in
which run up the Democratic majorities in
all the remote parts of the State, which
were footed up oil the walls and desks and
other surfaces. The Democrats rejoiced
with all the cxuberanoe and joy Of youth
and were padding their canoes over the
placid bosom of a sea Of oil. In the mean
time the distressed brethren were bracing
upon
Ponds Extract OF witch HazeI,
and pretending to find comfort in th ose
things which exist not in heaven, nor in
the earth, nor under the earth and those
who worked Che hardest in the Pond vine.
yard were by all odds the most disconso
late and panic stricken. On Tuesday
afternoon and Wednesday morning tele-
grams came in making inquiries concern
Ing the six Democrats who voted for the
Pond bill What does Hall, Of Franklin,
want, anyhow, telegraphed Fatherlander
from the delightful suburbs Of Alton. The
,leeplets assistant Sargeant-at-Arm Blenk-
ner, answered: "He wantsto be an angel,
and with the angels stand"
In response to a telegram, in behalf OF
ten thousand Germans over the Rhine. in
Hamilton county, as TO where General
Devereaux was, the ubiquitous Blenkner
answered: "He calmly wrapped his fur
trimmed cloak about him and went up in
whirlwind Of glory" A cotcrie OF eminent
cocktailists, who abide in the PASTORAL
regions of Pike, were exceedingly anxious
for the fate OF Brother Moore, who is a
truly good man." also sent g telegram Of
inquiry. The lynx eyed Blenkncr an
swered: Brother Moore is toying with
the golden pomegranates in the Garden Of
Eden" But there was regular Jack
Cade rebellion up among the fowery
meads Of Marion, where Brother Hopkins
abides. A large delegation Of his admirers
ioined in a telegram to ask whether
he thought benefit would suit him, and
what he thought he would rather have, q
house and lot, a gold.heaGed cane, or
pianoforte. The untiring Blenkner an
swered: Il have inquired for Brother Hop
kins. His landlady says that he's gone out
to gather primroSes in the Elysian fields,
and that he don't want anything but big
harp and palm tree"
There is a good deal of water in Brother
Kithcart's county, jefferson, but at the
same time there are good many distillers.
rectifyers, and wholesalers and retailers OF
whisky, good many mixers and a larger
number of drinkers. They were anxious
to know about what time he would like to
have matinee. The eyer-present Blenk-
Fer replied: Il can't disturb Brother Kith-
cart Just now; he's out in one OF the court
yerandahs, near the law library, singing
Rock Of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself In thee"
Pretty Hard on Him.
The constituents of Brother Mccullough,
of Allen, another Pond Bill Democrat, tele-
graphed Blenkner: This county Is broke
up to its very foundations Send us some
news from Mccullough"
MIR. Blenkner answered that when ne
last saw him be was taking little sherry
and egg at Horns to steady his nerves,
"and then" he said, che bad TO fulfill an
engagement with a friend-with lady
friend. If you please and when there's
LADY in the case all else must give way.
Tell Mccullough" saida third telegram,
.that il he don't answer we'll burn him in
efigy." The oontending elements net aP-
nearinp TO subside, Brother Mccullough