Smyrna times., 1882-12-20
WHOLE NO. 1882.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING HFvs

we are not surprised that the winter
should have been very squally so far
1t is only month old
Men are like Holsters in one rcsn.c,
40 matter how green they NAV be
stew ~ -
a distinguished menta physician saws
Vhat plano-playing will quiet a ravino
maniac. Another triumph for homeon7
athy. p
An honest farmer went into a Tro,.
g"nshop and laid his lighted cigar near
d can of powder. Moral; Don't
smoke.
heard in a boudoir: We'll, YOU
must admit that she has lovely hair "
She certainly has, but then YOU know
her father is rich"
A lady who went to see Mrs Iarc-
try said " Now that the men have =
Venus we lady theatre-goers want an
Adonis on the stage"
"A Chlnaman, hung for murder. made
a confession upon the gallows and ad-
mltted that he expected to be punished
ne saiu MS soul would go to San Fran
cisco.
The PrenOlOgical Journal asks
Why should not women whistle y,
They do. A good many of them when
they want new bonnet have 70
whistle for it.
Those who have seen Mrs. Ianotrv
play Rosalind are of the opinion that
unless she borrows somebody else's
stockings to hang up on Christmas She
will get badly left.
Within the past year 5000 Cinnamon
nave returned home and only a few
nave come to take their places. They
declare that they won't live in such a
oarbarous country as America.
1hls is the season when kind-hearted
people have their arms so full of nicely
wrapped,up Christmas presents that
they can't get their hands into their
pockets when the poor ask for aims.
A single New York town-Randolpb
has had four golden weddings in a
week 1t is better to be a jeweler in
The town of Randolph than to run for
Governor on the Republican ticket.
Oscar Wilde says hisgreatest difficu1-
y in life is selecting his neckties. In
his, as in everything else. Oscar differs
rom the rest of his sex. The AVERAGE
nan takes whatever the clerk recon-
nends.
A careful canvass shows that a two
ent postage would really increase in
tead of diminishing the revenue. All
he tailors agree that they would then
end three dunning letters where tbev
ow send one.
They say that an expert can tell the
me OF day by the movements of an
llgator as well as by watch. No
oubt. If he opens his mouth and
'arts for you in hungry sort of way.
Is dinner time.
Ihe Detroit Free Press says that
nall feet on woman indicate a cav
lhe pepper temper. If this is the
'se, and the converse is true, how
pes it happen that there are so many
Vorce cases in Chicago.
"A strong effort is being made to have
e tax on whisky and tobacco removed.
this is effected, poor people can
orry along with the present prices of
ef, boots and bread. The necessaries
life must be made cheaper.
Rosa BOnheur bought lion for $500
lnted his portrait and sold it for S.
D, having the lion still in stock to
int more portraits from. A well ad-
rtlsed studio seems to be almost as
oiitable as a corner drug store.
A Philadelphia preacher caught re-
livering his sermon of the Sunday
lore, explained that he only wanted
see if any of the congregation were
hclently awake to notice it. The
lgregation dropped the subject.
f the scandalous article about Mrs.
ngtry, published in several of the
lladelphia papers, tells the truth.
re is but one course for the public to
sue. If it does not there is but one
rse for her managers to pursue.
new book is called "How to Keep
TORE" 1t is work of several hun
q pages and life is too short to read
The best way to keep store is to
ertise judiciously and thus prevent
llling into the hands of the sheriff.
ristOiCn Herald.