Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-06-15
"euILrY, BUT DRUNK

"GUnrY. BUT DRUNK"
A Good old Story Worthy Repetition still.
A story went the round twenty-five or
thirty years ago, and is old enough to be
new. It illustrates the embarrassment
which a glass too much sometimes occa.
sions the best of men. There lived in
Georgia, says Colonel Bradbury, whom
Burton credits with the narrative, Cir.
cult Judge by the name of Brown, man
of ability, of inhexible integrity and be-
loved and respected by all the legal profes.
sion. But he had one fault. His social
qualities would lead him, despite his judg.
ment, into occasional excesses. In travel
ing the circuit it was his habit, the night
before opening Court, to get comfortably
corned." If he couldn't succeed while
operating upon his own hook the members
of the bar would generally turn in and help
him.
1t was in the spring of the year. Taking
his wife in the old.fashioned carry.all, the
Judge journeyed some forty miles and
reached village where Court was to be
opened the next day. He took quarters
with relation of his better half, by whom
the presence of an official dignitary was
considered high honor. After supper he
strolled over to the only tavern in the
town, where he found many old friends,
attracted to the place, like himself, on i'm.
pertant professional business, and who were
properly glad to meet him.
Gentlemen" said the Judge, "'tis
quite long time since we have enjoyed a
glass together-let US take drink all
round. OF course, Sterritt addressing the
landlordl, you have better liquor than you
had the last time we were here the stuff
you had then was not fit TO give dcg!"
Sterritt, who had charge of the house,
pretended that everything was right, and
they went to work. It is unnecessary to
enlarge upon drinking bout in country
tavern-it will quite answer our purpose
to state that somewhere in the region of
midnight the Judge wended his very devi.
Gus way toward his temporary home.
About the time he was leaving, however,
some young barrister, fond of "praetical,
and not much afraid of the bench, trans.
ferred all the silver spoons of Sterritt to
the Jadge's coat pocket.
It was o'clock Monday morning when
the Judge rose. Having INDUCED in the
process of ablution and abstersion, and par.
taken of a cheerful and refreshing break.
fast, he went to his room to prepare him.
self for the duties of the day.
" Well, Polly" he said to his wife,
feel much better than l expected to feel
after that frolic of last night"
"Ah, Judge" she said rerroachfully,
you are getting too old-you ought to
leave t,ff that husiness
''Ah Polly, what's the use Of talking !"
II was at this precise moment that the
Judge, having put on his overcoat, was
proceeding. accordieg to his custom, to
give his wife a parting kiss, that he hap.
pened to thrust his hand into his pocket,
to lay hold of Sserritt's spoons. He jerked
them out. With an expression of horror
he exclaimed
"My God, Polly !''
What On earth's the matter, Judge :"
''Just look at these spoons
g Dear me, where dye get them?''
"Get them Don't you see the initials
on them ?" extending them toward her.
- l stole them !"
"Stole them, Judge?"
YES, stole them !"
"My dear husband, it can't be possible !
From whom p
50 From Sterritt, over there his name is
on them.
s.Good heavens, how could it happen ?"
g l know very well, Polly. / was very
drunk when l came home, wasn't / ?"
why, Judge, you know your old habit
when you get among those lawyers
But was I very drunk ?"
&c Yes, you was"
"Was l remarkably drunk when l got
home, Mrs. Brown ?"
Yes. Judge, drunk as a fool, and forty
times as stupid"
{" | thought So" said the Judge, drop.
ping into chair in extreme dependency.
+" knew it would come to that, at least.
l have always thought that something bad
would happen to me-that l should do
something wrong-kill somebody in
moment of passion, perhaps-but never
imagined that could be mean enough to
be guilty of deliberate larceny /"
But there may be some mistake,
Judge"
" No mistake, Polly. know very well
how it all came about. That fellow, Ster-
ritt, keeps the meanest sort of liquor, and
always did-liquor mean enough to make a
man do any sort of a mean thing. l have
always said it was mean enough to make q
man steal, and now have practical illus.
tration of the fact ~ and the poor old man
burst into tears.
Don't be child, " said his wife, wiping
away the tears; "go like man over to
Sterritt, tell him it was little bit of
frolic. Pass it off as joke-go and open
Court, and nobody will ever think Of it
again"
A little of the soothing system operated
upon the Judge, as such things usually do ;
his extreme modification was finally SUBJ
dued, and over to Sterritt's he went with
tolerable face. OF course he had little diff
ficulty in settling with him-for aside from
the fact that the Judges integrity was un-
questionable, Sterritt had an inkling of the
joke that had been played. The Judge
took his seat in Court but it was observed
that he was subdued and melancholy, and
his mind frequently wandered from the
business before him. There was a lack of
the sense and intelligence that usually
characterized his proceedings.
Several days passed and the business of
the Court was drawing to close, when one
morning tough citizen was arraigned ON
a charge of stealing. After the Clerk had
read the indictment to him he put the
question
.Guilty or not guilty ?"
"Guilty, but drunk" answered the
prisoner.
What's that plea p exclaimed the
Judge, who was half doing on the bench.
I" He pleads guilty, but says he was
drunk, replied the Clerk.
whats the charge against this man ?"
I" He is indicted for grand larceny"
Whats the case."
"May it please your Honor" said the
prosecuting attorney, the man is regu-
larly indicted for stealing large sum from
the Columbus Hotel"
"He is, hey, and he pleads -
" He pleads guilty, but drunk !"
The Judge was now fully aroused.
"Guilty, but drunk That is most ex-
traordinary plea. Young man, you are
certain you were drunk 2"
" Yes, sir.
Where did you get your liquor!'
cat Sterritt's."
Did you get none nowhere else ?"
Not drop, sir"
{" You got drunk on his liquor, and after.
ward stole his money %
&c Yes, sir.
"Mr. Prosecutor, said the Judge, do
me the favor to enter nolle prosequi in
that mans case. That liquor Of Sterritt's
is mean enough to make a man do anything
dirty. The Court got drunk on it the
other day and stole all of Sterritt's spoonsl
Release the prisoner, Mr.. Sheriff l ad-
journ the Court"
ACROSS THE STREET.