davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17
Cnrn EOr DnndnlH

When the barber kindly informs
his patient that bis hair is very badly
filed with dandruf, and proposes to
shampoo il as a remedy, it is safe to
say NO." most positively. The ma.
jority Of the BARRIERS use as sham
pooling liquid, either a solution of
"salts Of tartar" alone, or mixed with
borax. They are probably Aot aware
that salts Of tartar is but a name
for purified potash. When a solution
Of this is put upon the head it com.
bines with the natural oil Of the hair
and scalp, and forms a soap which
makes dense lather in the hair; this
is washed out, and while il efiectually
removes the daudruff and dust, it has
also removed the oil which is needed
to keep the hair in a healthy cOndi.
ton. Avoid all such shampooing. A
tablespoonful of powdered borax in a
quart Of water forms a safe shampoo
ing liquid, but still better is the yolk
of an egg, worked thoroughly into
the hair. applying little at time,
and then washing it out. The egg
will leave the hair surprisingly clean
and the scalp soft and free from dsnd.
ruff. II American Agricultural.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17
A fi1t Cousin TO 4 swss foVad7.


The man who travels on the rail
road, and sits down by the side Of
lone females while laboring under the
impression that he recognizes a like.
ness in their faces TO his wife's aunt'S
cousin, met his match on one Of the
roads in this vicinity lately. file sal
down in the half Of a seat, the other
half Of which was occupied by a
pleas ant-faced young lady. His first
question was
pardon me, miss, but is your
name james | have a cousin of that
name, whom you greatly resemble"
"No, sir" was the reply, "my
name is not James. But, pardon me,
is your name Zinc or Copper
Zinc or Copper ? No, ma'am, " said
the astonished man. "Wbat lead
you to supp | had such names ?"
Excuse me-" was the quiet reply,
"but | thought certain you must be
first cousin to brass foundry"
The man fell over two seats and
kicked a bird cage half way down the
car in bis haste to get into the smoker
while the young lady smiled gentle
smile behind her handkerchief.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17
lis Kow

Now the chowder's in the pot, and
the days are getting hot, aud all be.
gin to swelier with a swelt swelt,
swelt. While the crimson lemon.d,
through a straw enchants the maid,
who displas bunch Of flowers at her
belt, belt, belt.
Now we wave the pictured fan,
drink the cooling back-and tan, and
we watch the periwinkle by the surf
surf, surf.
And the little tourist happy feels
as he reads his "Puck on Wheels
while he rolls with laughter on IN,
turf, turf, turf.
Now our fancies, quaint and queer.
lightly turn to thoughts Of beer, aud
the picnic's everlasting custard pie
pie, pie. And we sit with pretty Nell
meath gingham umberelI, gaily
boomeranged and shipwrecked by her
sigh, sigh, sigh.
Now the cat begins to scoot from
the well directed boot, and the poodle
wears a kettle on his tail, tail, tail.
Now the Vassar maidens mount
every soda.water fount, and they drink
vermillion water till they're pale, pale,
pale.
Now the ice man with sroile
slings his naughty summer style, and
the plumber bows in solitude his head,
head, head.
Now the cuffs and collars melt, now
the monte-man is felt, and the circus
in the country does appear, pear,
pear.
No news is this by 10, they are
facts all people know, for they're writ.
ten by the joker every year year year.
-[Puck.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

QUITE TOO UTTERLY UTTER
"Walter," said one Of our pork mer.
chants to his sixteen.year-old hope,
IL don't mind how short you have
your coats cut so long as they strike
you somewhere below the shoulder
blades; neither does it trouble me TO
see you choking yourself to death in a
pair Of tight pants; nor am | much
concerned in how many scarf pins you
sport each day, or how large a bundle
you carry to the laundry every TWEEN
ty.iour hours. Though the sight of
your mustache in its feeble efforts
for life, makes me faint, yet | can
bear up even under that, but ever let
me catch yoI wearing you watch
chain on the outside Of your coat, and
you'll go to work in the store before
you can say quite too utter do you
hear me!"-- Burlington Hawkeye.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17
4 Significant Sfov

A wealthy banker in one Of our
large cities. who is noted for his large
subscriptions to charities, and for his
kindly habits Of private bcnevolence,
was called on by his pastor, one eve
ming, aud asked TO 60 with him to the
help Of a man who had attempted
suicide.
They found the man in wretched
house, in an alley, not far from the
bankers dwelling. The front room
was a cobbler's shop; behind il, on a
miserable bed, in the kitchen, lay the
poor shoemaker with a gasping cash
in his throat, while his wife and chill.
dren were gathered about him.
ave have been without food for
days" said the woman, when he re.
turned. at is not my husbands
fault. He is a hardworking, sober
man. But he could neither get work
nor pay for that which he had done.
To day he went for The lac, time 10
collect n debt due him nv a rich r.m;.
~. but the gentleman wss M, a,
home. NV husband was weak from
tasting, and seeing us starving drove
him mad. SO II ended thai vsv'
turning 10 the tain,ing mo,ionls..
figure ON the bed
The banker having fed and warmed
A. -. l-,-IS -.
' %O'eu Ho' VPe"eu MS
Sn - 0S - : "'o y "'''e O''i''
-, 0 P.O,"Puy
-. -. ~ w." "p' " 20
- wv "''TD"'' " "''A'
oa,,~ WV '"e' "e'e ~
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

A reverend gentleman, who resides
in a neighboring town. has the mis-
fortune to own a son who is addicted
to drink. The other night, when the
family had retired to rest, the son re-
turned home in his usual condition.
When the father opened the door to
his graceless offspring, he exclaimed,
sadly; Drunk again, Henry, drunk
againl" GAN right, father" riplied
the staggering reprObate; $50 am II"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

DIR. Clayter, of Goodwin, Miss, has
been fined $40 for simply "fourishing
his pistol" If the Doctor had just
thought oft he might have saved $40,
increased his reputation and had more
flowers and favors than he could have
stood up under by shooting some
prominent citizens head off. 1t isn't
every man that can strad1le an OPP
portunity. Cd.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Our amusing young townsman, Mr..
Louis Pitcher, leaves this week for
Louisville, where he expects to tackle
the evangelist, Geo o. Barnes, in a re-
ligious debate, Louis will undoubted-
ly make it very amusing, and we pre-
dict that the Barnes troupe with this
rising young star will make it lively
for Louisville. Poor Louisville, we
pity theel-[ Nicholasville Courier.
Pitcher is one of the little asses
that brayed here so vehemently dur
ing the Murphy Craze.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

NEEDING RECONSTRUCTION THAT
the South deserves some method OF
rigid discipline beyond that which has
already scorged it is a disagreeable
thought, but one which, in the light
OF recent rumors, forces itself upon a
reluctant people. 1t is now stated
that some one down in Mississippi ha:
discovered that cotton seed oil is su.
perior for cooking purposes to the
best lard, as by its use rancidness,
burning and blackening is avoided.
This effort to set king cotton above
the hog is clearly a studied and unre.
constructed insult to the North, which
should be resented TO the extent OF
pulverizing every white man in the
State.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Indiana has 1882 women engaged
in the honorable occupation of farm
ing, against ffty.two who are put
down amoung the statistics as bar
keepers. The same State reports
sixty-six authoresses and 532 women
who are keeping boarding houses.
One hundred and seven Indiana fe.
males sell books, aud the other voca-
lions accessible to women are repre-
sented. We notice that Indiana fe
males, when thrown upDn their own
resources, have habit OF taking good
care of themselves.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Henry Mackinson, a Philadelphia
boy, aged eleven years, armed with a
pistol, was discussing MODES Of suicide
with his aunt, to whom he said he
would never cut his throat, but
"wOuld do it in this way" and, suit
ing the action to the word, he placed
the muzzle of the weapon to the back
of his head and fred. The ball en-
tered his skull, and has not yet beer
extricated.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

An exchange truthfully says that
there is one reason for advertising that
business men rarely consider Its
general effect on the prosperity Of
their own place. The newspaper
goes out into the world from week to
week as the representative of the city,
aud men judge Of the city more by
the newspaper than anything else. II
it is newsy and able, and many local
firms are represented in IFS advertis.
ing columns, they assume at once,
and generally correctly, that it comes
from live city-a good city to live
in and near-and they thus are drawn
thither. The effect is not slight and
the suggestion is one which des erves
the consideration of every trades.
man." Let our business men make
a note Of this Clarksville Tobacco
Leaf.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

"KIcKNG AGN NorHN'. IA
farmer in the Vermont Legislature
had charge of good bill and had
modestly spoken in favor of it. A
young politician replied in long,
frOthy, highfaluln speech against it.
All eyes turned to the farmer, expect
ing to see him rise in defense of bis
bill. Observing this, after time he
slowly rose, and elevating his voice
to a squeaking pitch, said, "Mr.
Speaker 1 see my friends expect me
to answer the honorable gentleman
who has just set down. | can't, Mr..
Speaker, l can't; it allus wrenches me
so TO kick agin nothin. " His bill
passed mem. con, How many little
and big people do wrench themselves,
or waste their strength, by worrying
over things OF no ACCOUNT Ameri-
can Agricultural.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

No officer of the Union army who
was a gentleman is In any way involv-
ed in the just denunciation now be-
ing poured out upon Burbridge. Con-
federate aud Federal officers and sol
diers stand alike in public respect il
they were truly soldiers. Burbridge
was a brute and tyrant, and it will
hardly avail him, or his friends, any.
thing to attempt to make the storm
of indignation, just now being poured
upon his head, involve any body else.
Col. Thomas M. Green, a loyal I'm
ion man and a gentleman, excoriates
Burbridge in Cincinnati Commercial
and denounces him without tint
[Glasgow Times.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

The world is said to owe every
man a living, but our observation,
buttered pretty thick with experience,
teaches US that it takes sight of
scuffling on the part of the fellow who
is trying to collect the debt Glas'
COW Times
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

There are only about ten thousand
Kentucky Republicans at the farthest
who are interested about the disrribu-
ton of Federal offices. The other
hundred thousand only care for the
success Of Republican principles
louisville Commercial (Rep.)
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Who don't believe it, but they say
that lightning rod man got hold of
the pictures of Mary Anderson and
Anna Dickinson in tights, and. turn
ing them upside down, is showing
them as samples Of his new duplex
pointed rods.--TEyansville Argus.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Wasn't SHE CuTE.-Sbe knew il was
necessary to be beautiful to be attractive.
She knew health gave beauty peculiar
charm, therefore she made free use Of
Browns Iron Bitters, and her captivating
smile seemed like beam Of sunshine; her
eyes were bright and sparkling, and her
skin, oh, twas most wondrous fair Well
worthy Of trial is this valuable medicine
by all our lady friends.-[ Fashion Plate. .
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

John NJ Starin. Of New York,
who now has an income OF 100000
year, began life selling horse lini-
meut. The moral Of this seems TO be,
that it is much more profitable TO
heal horse than than tn bet on him.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Grim repartee A pickering pair
of Quakers we're lately heard in high
controversy, the husband exclaiming /;
III am determined to have one quiet
week with thee !" "But how wilt thou
be able to get itf' said the haunting
spouse, in that sort of reiteration
which married ladies so provokingly
indulge in. II will keep thee a week
after thou art dead was the Qua.
ker's reioinder.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

New York Star: 1t is rumered
that General Grant and family will
shortly move into the White House
again, while President Arthur goes
to board at hotel. All of Grants
old cronies are at the White House
already, except those who are being
nrosacufad
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Silver dollars, with holes in them,
are painfully numerous, but they are
not half so so painfully numerous as
holes without any silver dollars around
them.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

A story is told of j. Gould drop
ping into a strange restaurant, aud
not finding himself in possession OF
enough ready cash to pay tor it, great
ly, Of course, TO his surprise and char
gin. He finally attempted to find
relief from his embarrassing position
by telling the proprietor his name;
but that individual considered this
"tOO thin" aud threatened him with
arrest for false pretenses. He was
finally about TO show check drawn
10 his order for a million, more or less,
when a gentleman came in who knew
him, and relieved him from his EN-
barrassment by loaning So Chris
tian Union.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Eight bushels of good lime, 10
bushels OF sand and l bushel Of hair
make enough mortar to plaster one
hundred square yards.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Everything IN nature INDUCES in
amusement. The lightning plays,
the thunder rolls, the snow flies, the
waves leap and the fields smile.
Even the buds shoot and the rivers
run
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17


Too WARM.-Mr. Robert Burdette
visited nail factory, and relates an
impression; 81 watched the nails, "
he says, "as they fell from the pom.
derous machine, fast as rain drops.
Strange feelings rushed into my mind
like torrent. stopped and picked
up brand new nail as a memento of
my visit. Then | laid it down again
sadly, but not slowly. l had an
impression that new laid nail, like
a new laid egg, is warm, and that
it is far more perceptible in the case
of the nail. 1t may not be so in eve.
ry instance. presume there may be
some nails laid cold. But the one |
picked up was not cold aud | did not
investigate any further"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

MURDER Ls.-The manner of
trying murderers has made the pop
ular impression that it is a juggle to
defeat justice. To try It the accused
Is guilty is not made the chief object,
but to try if, being guilty, he can not
be acquitted by the machinery OF the
law, the looseness of the bench, and
the feeble minds of jurors. The con.
duct of the Judges is as if their bust
ness was to give the widest latitude to
the efforts Of lawyers to clear the
guilty. So debased is court and bar
sentiment that il calls this abuse Civ
ing the accused fair trial. But a
iair trial is just the opposite of this;
i. is to find out and convict the gull.
ty,not to clear him. -GCincinnati Ga
zette. . ..H
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17
About Wee. Pnsidents.


ersl Arthur to the Presidency, three
Vice.Presidents had reached that office
in consequence Of the death Of the
President. In the previous cam.
psigns, the second place on the ticket
had been accorded them to conciliate
the minority in the nominating con-
vention. Neither Of these Vice.
Presidents enjoyed confidential rela.
tons with the President, and when
suddenly called to be his successor, il
was felt that there would be something
more than mere nominal change in
the Administration. Il was neverthe-
less believed that the cardinal policy
of the party would be maintained.
General Harrison survived his in.
auguraiion only month. II was
supposed that Mr.. Tyler would carry
into effect the financial doctrines which
had so signally triumphed in 1910.
But, after four months Of vacillation,
he discarded them, and dismissed,
with a single exception, the Harrison
Cabinet, selecting bis advisers and
making his chief appointments from
the minority faction which had been
defeated in the nominating convention
Of the previous year lie ultimately
became the open opponent Of the
Wing party, and threw the whole
weight Of his administration against
the election of Mr.. Clay as his sue
cessor.
After being President year and
four months, General Taylor died, in
the midst Of the violent struggle over
the slavery compromise measures of
1850. Mr.. Fillmore, who had op.
posed the nomination Of General
Taylor, Immediately changed the
whole Cabinet, ignored the liberal
policy Of his predecessor on the slavery
question, turned his back on Free Soil
Wings Of the type of VIM. II. Sew.
ard, and led the party so near TO the
gates OF death that il was only left to
General Scott, in the next Presidential
contest, to open the portals and allow
it to be consigned to the tomb which
had just received its great founders,
Daniel Webster and Henry Clay.
The course pursued by Andrew
johnson on the death Of Mr.. Lincoln
is fresh in the public recollection.
Commencing with the most vehement
denunciation Of the rebels, he changed
his position, step by step, until he was
found, in the last eighteen months Of
his administration, in undisguIsed hos.
tility to the men aud the measures
that had prevailed when Mr.. Lincoln
was elected 10 the Presidency the sec
ond time.
The lessons taught by these facts
are especially suggestive, because nei-
Their of these three accidental Presi-
dents began his administration with
the purpose Of antagonizing the party
which elected him 70 the Vice. Presi.
dency. They each took the first step
in that direction when they repudiated
the settled policy of the party on
some cardinal question, and played
into the hands of that branch of it
which had been proved to be the
minority in the country and in the
convention for nominating the Presi-
dent.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

From the personal column of "A
New York paper, we learn that a
great many women are travelling
around leeturing this season. We
know a woman who lectures without
trryeling around. We had the sad
pleasure of listening to one Of her
strongest efforts II few nights ago, on
our return q p. NJ from the thea
ire.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

ENISEST MES-lt may be observed
that no attempt has been made to hunt up
out Of the way or unknown places TO find
names to endorse Simmons Liver Begula-
tor Hon Alexander II. Stephens; John
w. Beokwith, Bishop Of Cal General Jno.
b. Gordon, U. S. Senator; Hon. Jno. Gill
Shorter, Ex-Governor Of Ala; Rev. David
Wills, ID. d., President Oglethorpe College
Bishop Pierce, Of Georgia; Judge Jas,
jackson, Supreme Court, Ga. Aud did
space and time permit we could ill a
volume with tho highest testimonials.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17
Main Street,

have bought out my BROTHER r. III. Wearen,
and will continue the Furniture and Undertaking
business at the same stand, in the st. Asaph Hotel
building. will keep full stock of Furniture of ev-
cry description and sell at figures that cannot be beat
en- My stock of Collins and Caskets will be compre
hensive ShrOuds and Robes always on hand also
repair Furniture and do carpenters job work.
BEL ... l.., ..a4.t.. .sial b. k. WEAREN.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

To raise money for her church, the
Rev. Miss Anna Oliver, "the black.
eyed girl pastor of BrOOklyn,is to issue
$4,000 shares Of stock at 81 each, the
certificate of stock being portrait Of
herself. One of her male parishiOn'
ers will take five hundred shares.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

PENDLEToN ON THE TRACK.-A
special to the New York Times saws it
is semi-ofIicially announced that Seua-
tor George ii. Pendleton intends to
be candidate for the Democratic
nomination for President two years
hence. This announcement is made
directly by John G, Thompson, who
has gone to Ohio to begin work on
plans for canvass.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

If we were called upon to designate
a name that conveys a meaning more
dishonorable than dishonor, more de.
PRAYED than depravity, more infamous
than infamy-a name that, pronounce
ed in heaven, would thrill the celes-
tial hosts with horror; that. uttered
on earth. would Gil mankind with
loathing; that spoken in hell, would
cause every devil in the Internal re,
gions TO blush with shame-that
name would be Stephen G. Bur
bridge. 4 Breckinridge News.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Ask no woman her age. Never
joke with Il policeman. Do not play
chess with a widow. Never contra
dict a man that shutters. BE civil to
rich unces and aunts. Your oldest
hat Of course for an evening party
Always sit next the carver, If you
can, at dinner. ~ Philadelphia Quiz.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-01-17

Strengthen brain aud muscle, cultivate
nerves of iron, make labor easy and work
a pleasure, by using Browns Iron Bilters.