davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
How to use Your Napkin at Dinner.

The law of the napkin is but vaguely un-
derStOOd. One of our esteemed metropolitan
contemporaries informs an eager inquirer
that it is bad form to fold the napkin
after dinner, that the proper thing Is to
throw it with negligent disregard on the
table beside the plate, as to fold it would be
q reflection Oh the host, and imply a tamiii-
arity that would not befit an invited guest.
But the thoughtful reader will agree with us
that this studied disorder is likely to be a
good deal more trying to a tastidiOus hostess
than an unstudied replacing of the napkin
in good order beside the visitors plate. The
proper thing is to fold the fabric with unos-
tentatious care and lay it on the left of the
plate, far from the liquids, liqueurs, and
coffee, and thus testify to the hostess that
her care in preparing the table has been ap-
preciatel.
The napkin has played famous parts in the
fortunes of men and women. 1t was one OF the
DO nts admired in Marie Stuart that, thanks
to her exquisite breeding in the court OF
Marie de Medici, her table was more lmpos-
ing than the full court of her great rival and
executioner, Elizabeth. At the table OF teh
latter the rudest forms were maintained, the
dishes were served on the table, and the
great Queen helped herself to the platter
without fork or spoon, page standing be-
hind her with silver ever to bathe her
fingers when the flesh had been torn from
the roasts At the court of the late empire.
Eugenie was excessively fastidious. The use
of the napkin, and the manner of eating an
egg, made or ruined the career OF guest.
The great critic, Sainte Beuye, was disgraced
and left off the visiting list because at a
breakfast with the emperor and empress at
the Tuilleries, he carelessly opened his nap
kin and spread it over his two knees. and
cut his egg in two in the middle. The court
etiquette prescribed that the half-folded
napkin should lie ON the left knee. to be
used in the least obtrusive manner in touch
ing the lips, and the egg was to be merely
broken on the larger end with the edge of
the spoon. and drained with its tip. The
truth is luxury and invention push able ap-
pliances so far that few can be ex-
pected to know the particular convention
that may be considered good form i'll any dl-
versified society. The way for young man
to do is to keep his eyes opeE-which, unless
he is in love, he can do, and note what others
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
NICE GIRLS.
An Electric COurtship, Sense i'll RO
nance and Case Of True Charity.

During the last two years Miss Louise Eib
and Miss Laura Jordon, telegraph operators,
have worked together in the Western Union
office at st. Joseph, Missouri. Persons about
the Office who could not read the tickings of
Miss Eib's instrument were puzzled frequent
ly to see Miss Jordan put her hands to her
ears. The very inquisitive, noticing that
during the quick motions she showed bits of
cotton into the auricular channels, sometimes
would ask if anything was wrong, but
Miss Jordan would avoid the question. Not
until two weeks ago, indeed, was light
thrown upon the mysterious movements of
the young woman annd the smiling habits of
her associate Then it was revealed that
Miss Eib is to be married shortly, and that
the young man in the case is John Martini a
Kansas City operator, and that the young
couple have been making love by wire since
1879 In that year they agreed upon q
cipher alphabet, by the use Of which many
tender sentiments were passed to and fro.
Miss Jordan soon caught up the key, how
ever, and that she might not be in the way,
kindly stopped up her ears. The men in the
office often wondered at Miss Eibs thought
ful silence and the happy smiles that com
pletely mastered her as she sat at her oper-
ating desk, and now that they know the
secret they insist that she shall he married
by wire, but being sensible girl, she prefers
the hand to hand custom.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
American Extravaganza.

The travelling American is the legitimate
prey of foreign hotel keepers, and he has ms
own prodigality to blame for the fact: Inc
majority of the Americans are not In the
habit of looking over the items OF their ho-
tel bills when they pay them, but glancing
at the sum total, they hand out the gold
with an alacrity that makes the hotel keeper
wish for hours afterward that he had made
the amount a third larger than twas When
he resumes his journey and for the want OF
something to occupy his attention, looks over
the paid bill, he finds that he mas been
swindled in almost every item But ne does
not grieve over it, for he is accustomed TO
being ''plucked." He must learn wisdom
by experience, and by-and-by become sharp
enough to fight foreign swindlers with fheir
own weapons. ,Hr tor t @f llH- hitat
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
4 Chinese Hell.

A traveller thus describes Il representation
of the punishment of the wicked after death
according to the Buddhist theory, which he
witnessed in the suburbs of Canton:
After a walk of about mile, we came to
the Temple of Horrors. This is Il horrible
place-that is, the scenes are hideOus. The
intention is to represent what bad man
would suffer after death. 1t is composed of
ten different groups of statuary of clay, and
many of them are crumbling to pieces. The
first group represents the trial OF man he
is surrounded by his family and friends who
are trying to defend him; the second where
he is condemned and given to the execution
er: in the third he is undergoing SEMI
transformation from the man to the brute
the fourth where he is put into mill head
downward and is being ground up; his
dog is by the side of the mill licking up his
blood. In the fifth scene he is being placed
between two boards, and he is sawed down
lengthwise sixth, he is under large bell,
which is rung until the conclusion kills
him: seventh the man is placed upon a
table, and two men are beating him with
large wooden paddles; eighth, he is upon a
rack. and the executiOners are tearing his
flesh with red-hot pinchers; ninth, he is in
a cauldron of boiling lead the tenth scene
represents him upon a gridiron, undergoing
the process of roasting. In all these scenes
the family are present, also large figures who
represent the Judge, executioners, little
devils, and various instruments OF torture
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
Arkansas Court Scene.
Little Rock Gazette.


Lawyer McLaughlin.-As to being hired,
sir, hurl back with contempt into the teeth
of this man his remark as unprotessiOnal, =
yes, sir, as highly unprofessional.
Lawyer Howard.-Don't say that am un-
professional, sir.
Lawyer Nell say unprotessional, sir |
repeat it, sir.
Lawyer H.-You must not talk that way,
sir.
Lawyer McL.-But will talk that way,
sir.
Lawyer H.-I'll whip, you, though, if you
talk that way, sir.
Lawyer McL.-And you'll have the d-dest
time at that job you ever had in your life,
sir.
Lawyer HIN not OF that opinion, sir.
Lawyer McL-SuppOse we settle that right
here, sir.
His Honor-I object, gentlemen. 1t will
be better TO settle the controversy outside
the courtroom
Lawyer H.-The suggestion is proper
one | challenge the gentleman to a settle
ment outside the building.
LAWYER McL.-Come on, sir; we will see
who is the hreling.
. Lawyer H.-Who said hireling?
Lawyer McL.-You did, sir.
Lawyer HI used no such language, Sir.
Lawyer Neil so understood you, sir.
Lawyer HI disclaim using. any such
word, sir.
Lawyer McL.-All right, sir; | accept the
gentleman's apology.
Lawyer H-Explanation, sir.
Lawyer McL.-Call it that; I'm content,
sir.
His Honor-That's the pleasantest way
III. - 90 %o,, dol
lars each for contempt
In one voice both attorneys disclaimed all
intention to appear in contempt of court.
His Honor thereupon ordered the fine re-
mitted and the business of the court pro-
ceeded.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
Greenhouse and Window Plants.
American Agriculturist for February.

American Agriculturist for February.
The plants indoors should be at their best
during this month. The bulbs of the mar
cissus, hyacinth, etc, may be brought from
the cellar and forced into bloom. A success
sion of flowers may be had by sowing seeds
of mignonette, candytuft etc. The sand
and boxes for the propagation of the verbi-
mas, geraniums, etc, will need to be provided
now. The Importance Of securing thorough
ventilation for plants during cold weather
should not be overlooked, and yet all undue
exposure must be avoided. The leaving of
the sashes or windows open for a half hour
when the temperature is too low will chill
and injure the tender plants. There will
very likely be trouble with insects. Tobac-
co water sprinkled' on kills the green fly,
washing with water drives away the red
spider, the mealy bug must be picked Off
with stick or the fingers. Worms in the
pots are removed by turning out the ball of
earth, when they may be easily seen.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
Letter of Acceptance.

Young ladies may be gratifed to know
Just what is regarded by learned editor of
Washington as the very best style for a
letter of acceptance. A reward was offed for
the best written letter accepting an offer of
marriage, and the prize composition ran:
Fresh with the breath of the morning
came your loving missive. / have turned
over every leaf of my heart during the day,
and on each page find the same written
namely, gratitude for the love of a noble
man, humility in finding myself its object,
and ambition to render myself worthy Of
that which You offer ] will try. Yours
y f-a4S & 9aGzfsl IS f@s IS -
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
Actresses Arts.

A great many tricks of stage costume
spring from personal defects. In whatever
cut of waist Modieska appears there is al
ways bunch of flowers or bow placed at
the left of her open corsage. When this de-
vice is not restorted to, little strap of silk
will be trailed across diagonally, or little
fan of lace will suddenly spring from the
left corner. in order to hide scar on the
breast that looks as if it might be the result
of wound from poniard, souvenir of a
romance.
Poor Lucille Western was afflicted with a
birth mark She was q regular female ESau.
About her waist there was thick growth OF
silky brown nair which ran up to point in
front Where it came above the tops of her
dresses it was carefully shaved, but the skin
always remained blue. So Lucille wore a
huge cross dangling Just above that portion
of her anatomy.
Parepa Rosa had deep vaccination scar
far down her robust arm, and when her
sleeves were very short a knot of ribbon or a
trail of flowers used to cover it, Before she
grew so extremely stout, she wore golden
band above the elbow to hide it, but when
her armlet got to be as big as waistcoat
she abandoned the oddity. One night speak
ing Of the scar to an American girl who sat
in her dressing room, the Yankee offered Pa
repa an immediate and effectual concealment
of the offending spot She took one Of the
candles off the toilet table, and holding it
above the arm let one drop of the melted
wax fall upon the place. and there was no
further need of conceaing devices A dash
of flesh tinted powder completed the cure,
and Parepa's makeup box forever after con-
tanned bit of wax candle. @ ahf' 4alfili'
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
Telling Each Others Faults.

A husband and wife agreed to sit
down and have quiet chat. Each agreed
that people are blind to their own faults so
they made an agreement that each should be
perfectly frank and in friendly way tell
the other his or her faults, so they could
help each other to correct those faults and
approach perfection. 1t was their duty to
help each other to attain that state. So they
began, and in less than ten minutes the
neigbors began to take an interest in the
and stood around and cheered to
see the husband come flying down the front
steps hatless, making desperate efforts to
keep out of reach of pair of tongs in his
wifes hands. 1t always works just that
way.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
A Good Laugh.

What a capital, kindly, honest, glorious
jolly thing a good laugh is! What a
tonic. What digester! What a febrifuge!
Better than walk before breakfast or q nap
after dinner How it shuts the mouth of
malice and opens the brow of kindness
How, like thing of beauty it is a JOY for
ever; there is no remorse in it, 1t leaves no
sting except in the sides, and that goes off:
Even single unparticipated laugh is great
affair to witness. But we are glad it is sell
dom single 1t is more infectious than scarlet
fever; you cannot gravely contemplate a
laugh If there is one laugher and one wit
ness, there is forthwith two laughers. The
convulsion is propagated by sound. What
soul-inspiring thing it is when it becomes
epidemic.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
Skeptical.

Deadwood Pioneer: Last night stalwart
stepped into the X l. hotel. He was en-
veloped in buffalo overcoat that came down
to his heels. The proprietor, Harry Dunn
ing, suggested that he take it off or he would
not feel it when he went out. The stranger
looked at him obviously and remarked: Il
reckon / will keep it on all the same. Last
fall when was here in Deadwood i hung
an overcoat up, aud never felt it when
went out, and haint felt it since" Harry re-
allied the force of the remark. and politely
invited the stranger to take su'thin'.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
A LITTLE BOY WANTS.

FIRST YEAR.
He wants a merry rattle,
fIc wants a rubber ring,
He wants a dainty swing crib,
He wants mamma TO sing.
SECOND YEAR.
He wants IA baby-dolly,
He wants to dig for shells,
He wants penny trumpet,
He wants a string of bells.
THIRD YEAR.
He wants some blocks for building,
He wants Il horse on wheels,
He wants q little wagon
TO fill with empty reels.
FOURTH YEAR.
lie wants a sword and pistol,
He wants a fife and drum,
He wants some books with pictures,
Bo-Pccpand Brave Tom Thumb.
FIFTH YEAR.
He wants Il cap and muller,
He wants some mittens red,
lie wants to skate on rollers,
He wants to own sled.
SMITH YEAR.
He wants big boots like fathers,
He wants "v'lossipede,'
He wants a slate and pencil,
He wants to learn TO read.
SEVENTH YEAR.
lie wants a goat and carriage,
And Just few things more
Wait wait and see what Santa Claus
Can spare from out his store.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
A Handy Fan.

Y A new fane invented in Germany has
needles and thread concealed in its first fold,
SO as to be all ready to repair damages if
the wearers gown be torn at q. ball. This IS
but one more opportunity for % woman to
make a porcupine of herself, and she will avMf
herself of it, let her alone for that. Let her
alone anyway if you would not be lacerated.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02
NOts of the Horse.

Going up hill whip me not
Going down hill, hurry me not.
On level roads spare me not.
Loose in stable, forget me not.
Of hay and corn, rob me not.
OF clear water, stint me not.
OF soft, dry bed deprive me not.
Tired and hot, wash me not.
If sick or cold, chill me not.
With sponge and brash neglect me not.
With bit and reins, oh, jerk me not.
And when you are angry, strike me not.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-03-02

i We often hear ofsa woman marrying q
man to reform him, but no one ever tells
about a man marrying woman toreform
her. We men are modest and don't talk Of
our good deeds much. tff 7
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
BEECHEIs'S HE'LL.

In the course Of Mr.. Beecher's eXposi-
ton of his individual faith, before the
Congregational Association, occurs the
following remarkable passage:
"Finally, the medieval representation
Of hell and the punishment of the
wicked is a spiritual barbarism worthy
of having been Invented in just such a
place, and by just such place, and by
Just such demons as have been invented
for it. That there will be pain and
penalty in another world for those who
have perverted their natures in this
world | fully believe. But those gross
representations of the Roman
mind, especially those exquisite and
Internal descriptions Ofthe material and
sensuous torrents of the lost, rolling
in waves of fire, writhing in the folds
of serpents, gnawed by demons, pierced
by fiery forks, clawed, dragged, tossed,
roasted by an intlnity of disgusting
devils in an eternity of torments, in
creasing with every age, the capacity to
suffer increasing likewise, till the whole
infinite round of imaginable space is
filed with the smoke and shrieks of
their torments. Such a dogma is an
insult to reason, to the moral sense Of
mankind, and if it shall be ascribed to
God, it is blasphemy that would
Justify the humiliation of its propaga-
tors. Yet this has been represented in
art, as in Michael Angeles "Last
Judgment" and yet more abominably
and inexcusably by Cornelius in our
own days, whose Judgment" is
coarser, crueler and wickeder, because
he lived i'll an age of light and better
knowledge OF God. These hideous
and remorseless barbarisms are not
dead. | have two books in my possess
sion, of recent composition, authorized
by Catholic prelates, in which these
sensuous and sensual ideas of future
punishment are drawn out with an
incOhceivable AMI infernal detail, which
cannot but amaze sober and rational
man by the filthy fertility of rabid
Imagination. Compared to the solemn
of Christ's warnings of
future doom they are as thousand-fold
compared with the rising of
she all revealing SUM-"
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
Embarrassed.

The Rev. Mr.-was one of the most
bashful men in the profession and was
constantly getting into scrapes through
his nervous mistakes. At one time he
rose in his pnlpit to give out the hymn,
"1'his world is all fleeing show" and
clearing his throat he stuck high
pitch of voice and began solemnly:
"rhis world is all floating shoe"
Everybody smiled except the deacons,
and the minister was covered with
confusion as he began again:
"This world is all shouting flow."
This only made matters worse, and
the unhappy man cleared his throat
with tremendous force and began once
again:
"This world is all a floating She"
Then he slammed the hymn-bOok
down, and wiping his clammy brow,
said:
Brethren, for some reason | cannot
read that hymn as it should be read I;
we will omit it and the choir viii please
sing the grand old lines beginning:
''JUst as | am without one flea. y
Detroit Press.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
I've Got a Grandmother.

Detroit Fee Press; What would the
little children do if there were no old
faces to look into; no tender, broken
voices to soothe their joys and sorrows?
Fathers are only men to their children;
they never take little ones on wonderful
journeys; there is no room among their
ledgers and bank books for broken dolls
and battered kites; they have no time
to tell of the babe in the manger and
where heaven is and if Jacobs ladder
reaches there. "Oh, wont you get u
whipping when you get homer" said
one child to another who had been
guilty of some naughtiness. "No," was
the instant response, GIVE gotta grand
mOtherW That would indeed be
dreary childhood that had no memory of
white hair and patient, loving eyes-nO
old people of its very own.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
Unworthy WChet."

President Arthur has less moral
backing than any President of the
United States ever had. lie does not
hear the voice of truth, surrounded by
his parasites; but L can tell him from a
considerable intercourse with people in
ali directions that he is regarded as the
first President whom nobody ever
thought of in connection with his high
Office, and he has increased unconscious
ly the dignity Of that Office by his unwor-
thincss to fill it and coming into it in
the way he did. If he had become a
grand and faithful President it might
have been that the office was not above
the capacity of almost anybody; but it
is now clear that it is entirely above his
capacity and comprehension.- Gath.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
Sewing Machine

Now takes the lead. Ii is finely and artie-
tcally finished, Japanned Giidcd and Nick
el-platcd. The Woud-WOrks cannot be en-
celled for beau V. The cover is attached to
the end Of the table, making it useful a.
work-boX. 1t has graduated yard meas
uro on the front edge of table. so that yOH
can measure work without moving from
the machine. 1t is Undermining, Will do
all kinds Of work. from the heaviest to the
lightest, is sclt-threading. has a sell-sctting
needle. 1t has no holes TO thread either in
the machine or shuttle, except the needle.
will not break the thread Oh needle by run.
ming the machine back or forth. is the only
machine in the world that continues TO sew
in the same direction whether run forward
or backward. lteXcels all others for SIM
plicity and durability of construction. The
st. John is a first. class machine and fully
warranted for five years. Prices within the
reach Of all. 1Zf3-l will take all kinds of
Produce in exchange. f'lease call and en-
anime the st. John and you will buy no
other. :. \. PATTON,
Agent, Maryvil'e Tenn.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
Terms of Subscription;
. THURSDAY, NOV. Is, 1852.
THE NINETY AND NINE.

There are ninety and nine that live and die
In want, and hunger and cold,
That one may revel in luxury
And be Tapped in the silken fold;
The ninety and nine in their novels bare,
The one in palace with riches rare.
They toll in the fields, the ninety and nine,
For the fruits Of mother earth:
They dig and delve in the dusky mine,
And bring its treasures forth;
And the wealth released by the their sturdy
blows
To the hands of the one forever flows.
From the sweat of their brows the desert
blooms,
And the forest before them falls;
Their labor has builded humble homes,
And cities with lofty halls
And the one owns city, homes and lands,
And the ninety and nine have empty hands.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16

One Dollarpays forIhc DEMocRA1
one year.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16

Browns IRON BITTERs effectual.
ly cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion and
Weakness, and renders the greatest
relief and benefit to persons suffering
from such wasting diseases as Con-
sumption, Kidney Complaints, etc.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16

Mr.. Richard Proctor, the noted as
tronomer, though an astrolgist, pre-
diets that the end of the world is at hand.
He is confident the comet which recent
ly astrnished the universe by its UNI
timely appearance, the one 20 loved of
lovers last year, is now rapidly APP
proacling the sun, and will disappear
in that body next year. The conse-
qucnce of such catastrophe can only b.
surmised, but us Mr., Proctor has recent
!y been married the second time he is
inclined to take a gloomy view Of the
situation, and predicts the end of the
world.
Blount County democrat. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 1879-1883, 1882-11-16
RESOLUTIONS.

AS thi8 is a progressive age of
the world and the time for ministers
to make themselves intelligent, Be it
Resolved, That this District Confer
ence recommend that there be three
meetings held on this the 4th p. L.
District, for the instruction of all of
our ministers, both travelling and
local. Respectfully submitted,