The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-01-06
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

'fJUL1Us, seize her p said Sambo. as
Julius was contemplating fat pullet in
the moonlight.
DOMESTIC troubles come punched, Like
celery.
THE only thing in this country that is
not injured by bursting, is applause.
WHEN you see an act committed are
I you not necessarily an nigh witness
HUSBAND and wife, says some sage
person, ''should no more struggle to get
the last word than they should struggle
for the possession of a lighted bomb. :"
/ They don t. The wife gets it without
| struggle. The Judge.
SAVE One Little Kiss for Papa" is
the title of the latest song. If this re-
mark Is aimed at Chicago girl with
four steady beaux the old mans chances
are pretty slim. - Chicago Tribune.
WHAT a contradiction watch is %
said Timmins " How so ?" asked Mrs.
Tlmmins Why. because it always
keeps perfectly dry, although it con-
stantly has running spring inside"
WILL the looming man +" shut the
door after him % He will in this office,
Or the going man will go out of the
window.-L0toeH Citizen.
BLONDE" They say Carrie is en-
gagged. Brunette =" Engaged why,
he married month ago and has Just
sued for a divorce. Blonde" How
rOrnanticl Isn't it splendid ?"-Boston
Transcript.
YES" said the Denver editor, 81
think / must have got out a very reada-
ole paper this morning. I've been licked
by three prominent citizens today, an
other chased me with dogs and gun
and the police had hard work to keep a
mob from wrecking my office. Chit
cagO Tribune
DIR. D. has a bright little girl about
four years OF. age, who is very fond Of
dolls and he buys a new one for her
nearly every day. He brought her
new one the other evening, but it did
not appear to take her fancy at all.
= What don't you4ike the new doll p
| be asked, after watching her few mo-
meuts. "No; rs tired of stuff dolls
| want a real meat baby" she replied,
earnestly. Judge.
81 CAN well remember the time, - said
/ Mrs. Marrowfat leaning over the fence
| rall, in confidential conversation with
/ her neighbor next door, when Simp-
sons wife was glad enough to get plain
woolen shawl TO wear. Now she always
appears in a sealskin sacque." "Ah,
you forget" was the reply, that Mr.
! Simpsons brother has become bank
cashier"
a DETROIT man calls his wife Vesu-
vius, because she is q holy terror. chat.
A Burlington man calls his wife Coto-
paxi, because she spits fire and won't
I lava the neighbors alone. .-Burlin9tojs
~ L EnterpriSe A jamestown man
calls his wife a fool because she has not
Etna thing since the winter bonnets
have made their appearance .-Leader.
4 Stubenville man calls his wife after
he gets up and builds a fire, for she
won't get up in the cOld.-StuJen0ille
Herald.
DARWIN acknowledged himself match
ed when his little niece asked him,
seriously, what cat has that no other
animal has. He gave it up after mature
deliberation, and then the sly puss
answered " kittens.
SAUSAGE FRITZ, Of this city, is an
aesthete. He says he now has ''good
quality of home mate sossiches, with der
dog collars all picked ovid. Dey wash
doc utterly py gosh q goople of dimes,
ant you pet my life if ] dold you so l
bite mine het off "-LdrLlte Bill Me-.