The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-02-01
1Hs szul-WEEKlY 1lAIR.
wEpxEsDAY. FEBRUARY !, 1se2'
rr1r NATIONAL QUESTION.

~, spoopsndyke Family Have ,
vaw Words Upon the Natter
of Expert Testimony.
....,. the Brooklyn Eagle.
INV DEAR said Mrs. Spoopendyke
~. w;wd the corner of the babv',
:.,,l and curle.l up a roll on the top a
~ head, .'why don't you go and be On
rS !!Exmrt in what ~ demanded Mr.
.,,.,,s,,,lykc. dropping his paper
..lV6at kind Of al expert ?"
..iMn't you know: An expert who
. ~ court and yells right out what
:" thinks about Hypothetical questions
u" vi heads. and knows by the almanac
a ;,..t when "A man is crazy and when he
i-n't." .,
,o,,r head this trip" r0ared Mr.. Sp0Op.
::"Ivkc. ..I;cen reading some old cook
,.ni lately: What're you talking
.,m,,: What dress pattern have you
n,t hold Of n"w:"'
~ VA, reading about Mr.. Guiteau, y
rn!i.d Mrs. Spoopendyke, land
,hnn.ht how much better It must be tn
H.. AN expert than to know anything
.to,,l the case That's why I asked.
If a mai, knows anything they always
,.r,y, that he don't, but If he is On ex-
,,.rt he lust swcars that the man who
I.ahcrs him is crazy, and that ends It. /"
~ s'm~. you think I've had 80 much
,.xmr:c:nr in itiiO<:y at home that
,,ntl,l make IA fortune rs an expert, !"
.,Mttcr,,l Mr.. Simopendyke. II tell you
,hcv arr Ill: intelligent men. They make
m their minds and swear to their Opin-
ions. as,u,limg to law. When the r.
r ri.,., .:a...tc. ut large provide for me a.
an rxprr:. as they provide for idiots,
ri,1I women. I'll go into the business,
and Mr.. Sl"nlendyke winkcsl Mt HIM
..li triumnp I,antly as he thought over
The last shot.
well" rc;"incd Mrs. Sptnpendpkc,
hridling Indignantly, IF the revised
statutes provide in that way, they ought
70 le shut up. They've no business ut
aryr. didn't know that these experts
were ley;.lizcsl. supposed they just
went there I" help their friends along"
NO they don't either" retOrtetl Mr..
>poope,,Iy kr. "They go t" swear
whether the man is insane or not
But what do they want to drown
Lin tur::'' argued Mrs. Sp>Orendyke.
There they were all talking ut once
and getting along pltslsa ntly, when all
Of sudden Mr.. POrkIill and Colonel
Cortcr and Mr.. Savage throw Nr. Cult
teau into the dock"
''Drown your grlndmOther's hind
leg" h"wlc'i Mv. SpOpendytle. What
dive think Il law dock Isl Got Il mo-
ton it's is,e:,sly pond with . green
.kum on top If it,: 's>lx,sc it's u two
in.h m,s! paddle with u fence around
il, and cong re~.iOnal appropriation to-
MAKE ii navi yabl.::' It's q pen. l tell
&c. 81 rallied oil pen in the court room,
where they put prisoners! Guiteau
:adlIertsi the experts 80 they hal to put
linn IN the pen. Think you understand
il ,r,w:"
"tf course" a>sented Mrs. SpNOlcn-
..;kc. ''but why don't they put Mr..
seville and Mr.. Reed there too They
are trying IT, |Ntller the experts just ~
..,uh as (;Uiteau did. They won't let
Inc l"tor men alone"
Don't you know the difference be-
TWEEN lawyer and u criminal:" rip
,s,l Mr.. Slxm,rndykc, ''or Is that tO0
line distinction for you: Reed and
seville are defending Guiteau. Porter
and C"rkl,ill and Dnvillgc ARE prss.ecllt-
ing him. OF course his lawyers will ex-
avIne the witnesses against him. But
lis no u-4. to explain anything tO you"
Il understand that lMuch," returned
Mn. SlHOl,entlyke, "but l don't under
stand what Judge Cox means by pitch
ing INFO the lawyers and overriding
their questions. The first he knows the
experts will swear that he is IN asynl-
M'etri..,l, and then he'll he put In dock
with Guit.4,u, where it will 20 hard
With him. tell you Judge can't Ike
"cs,r!ul how he behaves" and Mrs.
>lHnpe'nlykt pinned the baby skirts
around it's legs and slnOOthei cut it's
dress.
Now. yelled Mr.. Spoopentlyke, un-
allie for an instant to throw his feelings
into any coherent form Of speech.
'i"u'v" struck it Iou'rea whole lar
ri "f canned judiciary! All YOU want
TOW is 4 rel label on your back anu
,'''''r marginal notes to be q dOtlgastcd
law library! lfyou'd change assistants
"'''r month and win four cases during
one term "f office, you'd only need three
"i.rin'l~ and Il plus. hat to lc district
attorney. Iou'vc got the idea. There's
llnt'iim- mere can liz. said on either side.
'''vr you Il black ln.ttitsmt with sleeves
|" II ami u wart on your morse and you'd
only want II restaurant in the basement
ami lounge up stairs to Ike Il United
>lat.s Supreme Court. What dye
,I,'nk .!u.lgc is for \ Substitutes:
Think ii' sets around Ia c;.st. the pri~-
one. turn ana turn about Got some
KIND %! al IDEA tina, ht Is !. tl'nlg:,stHi
work Gil 'i,lVt;c with m"ttiett leaves
ai"' 4 yellow i'in.iing and Tommy from
tanhy "n he :iy:' | tell you lie pre-
>"'t> And an,,"nly hilt II ',alf-wittcl
~"!lan. whn dln't think with her
n''''> and i,:,s,n with the r;,t-li";s~ next
""" """ai, ne.,! t. III. told ri it more
INES iiai, 81" n,:.i:<.$ Il nt:,-Iy idi"t 81
hrr>ri.'
~ Il" j.. i; Is all right" re-
'"H',' NJ. :~lm,!wndyAr. with sigh
=: - ''''. amt y; t the ,lC:, that hcWcnt
~, """ to - The public sentiment. ami
,""v >;\ i.l"~>' we're his views, AMI as
:" Was "H': it:i,i;:= the prosecution +"
J.: '''' error 't.,i:c:,,iS ways before
.'.> ''"hl III va -,,aW",i up and used
'":'in-i ANA"
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