Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-08-06
TICKLING TRIPLES.

Capitol sport Bringing down the
house.
The butterfly never goes back on its
grub.
.'Onc difficulty about chip Off n the
DID block, said Deacon Scarcely, sis
that it's of'en Off n a blockhead
The students of New Haven, although
temperance men as a general thing, are
fond of good old Yale and Porter.
The Boston Transcript saws q Young
man who boosted of moving in the
highest circles was found in the top gal
lery of theatre.
A lazy boy was complaining that his
bed was too short, when his father
sternly replied, that is because You are
IN it too long, sir"
Patrick comes to the morgue to claim
4 relative. Has he any popularity by
which he can be recognized?n asks the
guardian. Yes. he is dumb
A Chicopee, Massachusetts small boy
declined to eat soup at dinner, the other
day, on the ground that he hadn't
teeth that was little enough for soup,
Fidgety Lady-'.But what am | to
do? | can't ride with my back to the
engine. Insolent youth - Better
speak to the conductor. He'll turn the
train round to oblige you"
1t takes FIVE gallons of whiskey to
cure an elephants cold, and since this
fact has come out, seven New York men
have been sent to insane asylums, as
nothing can convince them they are not
elephants suffering with colds.
Il say, Glenn cried two disputing
darkies, appealing for decision to sa-
BILE umpire, 'whichis right-dizactly or
dezactly." The sable umpire reflected
for moment, and then. with look of
wisdom, said, Il can't tell perzactly.n
Give me the hand that will never de-
ceive me- said q young Cleveland
sprig in the presence of some young
ladies the other evening. A young lady
who had heard of the young mans pro-
pensitv for the gaming table drily re-
marked: Il guess q straight flush is
about the kind of a hand you want"
Tom Marshall was using quite abu-
sive language, and the Judge, after one
or two reprimands, fined him SO for
contempt. Mr.. Marshall looked at the
Judge with smile, and asked where he
was going TO get the money, as he had
not j red" Borrow it of friend"
said the court. "Well, SIR" answered
Mr.. Marshall. you're the best friend l
have; will you lend me the money!"
''Mr. Clerk" said the Judge, ''you may
la h. = 81
lose it as l am"
The Galveston lawyers have got a
good laugh on brother attorney who
was defending colored kleptomaniac
on the plea of insanity. The attorney
for the defendant made an eloquent
speech ON the irresponsible condition of
his clients mind to the jury and took
his seat. His idiot client reached over,
touched his advocates arm, and said
emphatically, ''You is de biggest fool
ON Governors Island" The opposing
attorney instantly remarked. There, /
told you he had lucid intervals"
At concert baritone, with cold
voice but warm gesture sings
"would it were nv lot to be
captain of the king"
And later in the evening he MARBLES:
Il wish were q bird"
Whereupon Mr.. P stands up and
says in conciliatory way: See here,
my friend, you ought really to take one
part or the other. Which do you want
to be, captain of the king or the little
bird?
An old Vermont farmer came home
drunk the other night, and became the
victim of an irrepressible desire to get
still drunken. So he thought he would
bring out his wagon and drive over to
Shelburne Falls for more whisky; Just
as he was about putting the finishing
touches on the Harvesting arrangement,
he said to himself: This horse has got
hornsr' He brought out his lantern,
and found he had hitched the COW to the
wagon. He muttered, .'rm drunk
enough now" unhitched the beast, and
into tho bouSa m cIaar, n of