River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-02-23
In ANUTSHELL.


Count Waldersee, the successor o.
Won Moltke as head of the German
army, has an American wife. The
countess was once Mary E. Lee, 81
New York.
Prince Leopold, the youngest son Of
Queen Victoria. has just been appoint.
ed to an honorary colonelcy in the
British army.
MARY, have you given the goldfish
fresh water ?" mo, ma'am. What's the
use. They haven't drank up what's in
there yet"
The betrothal of Miss Clara White,
the accomplished daughter of Presi-
dent White, of Cornell University, to
Professor Newberrv, of the same insti-
tuition, and son of Professor Newberry,
of Columbia College, New York, is an
nounced.
"A dentist in Morgantown. w. Va,
has made from India rubber and guta-
percha, an entire face for Elias Cart
wright, of Marshall county, who had
his lips, eyeids and nose burned of.
Kate Southern, the woman who
shot another woman in Georgia few
years ago of whom she was jealous, is
still convict, but is allowed great lib
erty, her husband being one of her
guards.
A little child was addressed by gen.
tleman the other day: "How old are
you my dear ?" he asked. "Oldl" said
the child, Indignantly. 'I'm not old at
all. I'm quite new"
There might have been time when
servant girls had penchant for wear
ing their mistress clothes, but that was
in the days of low wages. Nowadays
the average girl would not be seen in
such shabby dresses as the mistress is
obliged to appear in.
81 don't see any sense in that sort of
thing" said Mrs. Smith, as the walters
whirled past her; and not only that"
she added, I" but it is positively dis
graceful. "Why, how can you say
SOP" replied the young lady by her
side; "turn about is fair play, you
know"
"Gen. Hancock is as regular as
clock in his habits. Every afternoon at
the same hour he takes nap of GER
tain length" This is the way the
paragraph started, but on its travels a
fiendish compositor put an 81 Z" in the
place Of the "a " in "nap" and made
it dreadfully suggestive.
A dispatch from Ithaca, N. Y, says:
Give leaders of the Cornell university
kidnapping case have been suspended
indefinitely, and required to leave
Ithaca Immediately. Forty other stu
dents are yet to be dealt with. Presi-
dent White says hazing will be repress-
ed if it requires the expulsion of one or
all the classes"
Mrs. Sarah III. Dorriss, of st. Louis,
who was murdered recently by her va
gabond grandson, was the only woman
in this country who ever made slave
trading business. She made a large
fortune before the war buying and sell
ing slaves, and she was estimated to be
worth 100000.
''Ma, am all made now?" asked a
little miss of three-and-one-half years at
the breakfast table yesterday morning
"Why, dear?" said the fond mother.
Because / have had my ears pierced,
and was vaccinated yesterday" said
Ii tie Tot.
When a schoolma'am in Paterson,
N. j., found the schoolroom as cold as
q barn in Greenland, she did not swear
or dismiss her pupils. She just arranged
them in two lines, and while one of the
pupils played the piano they all danced
the Virginia reel. They soon became
,,1t lO,,. ca,
Papa, me has been baptized, amt
me?" asked little three-year- old.
"Yes, dear" "Then me won't have to
be baptized again." mo; but can you
remember anything about being bap-
tized?D "Of course | cam" "Well,
what did the minister do to you"
Gle showed up my sleeve and stuck
knife in my arm"
When the late DIR. Bellows visited
General Halleck to prepare the way
for the Sanitary Commission, Halleck
said, ~ hate philanthropists." In
stantly Dr. Bellows answered, "And
we hate Generals" then catching
himself up with the tact which never
failed him, he added; "0f course you
mean bogus philantrophists, General,
and / mean bogus Generals"
Little Graham had baby brother,
Gussie, whom he dearly loved. Inn
PEELED by some childish sense of ETH
quette he always cried whenever, and
as long, as Gussie did. Being sretty
badly hurt one day the crying lasted
longer than usual, and the sym pathetic
older brother had hard work to make
his cry hold out: so at last he turned,
and, with comical quicker of the lips
and industrious blinking of the eyes,
said: "Say, Dussie, amt 90 mos
froo?"