The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-08-16
Puts, Calls, and Straddles.
Mrs Breezy, Puzzled and Curious, Demands
Explanation

Mrs> Breezy, Puzzled and Curious, Demand, q
Explanation.
II believe you have gambled in Wa
street, Mr.. Breezy" said Mrs. Bree7y
helping her lord and master to a cup 4
coffee.
81 have speculated a little in stock,
dear, if that's what you mean" saidMr
Breezy, unfolding his napkin.
Same thing said Mrs. Breezy; won
can call it speculation; | know it Gam.
bling. How do they do it anyway? |
read about puts and calls and straddes
and buy a three's, but can never make
any head or tail out of it. l suppose If,
some horrid slang you men have invent
ed.'
"Well. no, dear" said Mr.. Breezy
helping his better two-thirds to chop
''It isn't exactly slang. You see 70,
instance, buy a hundred short
''You do what?' cried Mrs. Breezy
81 buy a hundred short" reppae!
Mr.. Breezy.
swell, what in the name of comma
sense do you mean by that?' asked Mr.
Breezy. "Why don't you talk Unit
States-I mean English? You buy
hundred short, and what has short @
to do with it?''
eff you will give me time 1 will fl
plain. my DEAR said Mr.. Breezy. "Yn
see if a man is long on stock he is
Long on stock?'' said Mrs. BreeH
CHOW what are you getting to? Firs
you are short and then you are long
What does man want to get on a StocE
for, anyway?'
MY dear, if you viii allow me"
ITO be sure. Go ahead. Tell me
something about Wall street, but don't
talk nonsense" said Mrs. Breezy.
'Wen, my dear, we will suppose thg
| have put on Wabash, and
''There you go again. said Mn
Breezy. 'Will you or will you not tall
in language can understand? WIS
is Wabash, anyway? l suppose it Is
another slang term?''
mo, that's a stock" said Mr. BREEZY
''you see, dear, if have a call on vs.
bash or Northwestern
eff you call on the Northwest cried
Mrs. Breezy; ''are you really going mad
Mr.. Breezy? Well, I might expect IS
much from the life you have led recently
What with clubs and politics, YOU are
going headlong to some terrible fate
MY dear, it will be impossible for
NE to explain anything unless you viii
give me five minutes to do it in" said
Mr.. Breezy, with unusual warmth
Now, at the beginning of this week
Omaha preferred started at 1867 and
I05-''
"Omaha preferred?' asked ME
Breezy. 'sWhy is it preferred? Who
preferred itp What has Omaha got 10
10 with New York and Wall street any.
way, and what do you mean by 106l?
81 shall have to give it up" said NJ
Breezy in despairing voice.
mo, Mr.. Breezy. | have started out
o know something about Wall street
md won't allow you to get out of it in
hat way,'' said Mrs. Breezy, setting her
elf more firmly in her chair. Nov,
dr. Breezy, you will please drop slang
nd come to something l can understand.
COR instance, what is a bull bear?"
'.Ho, ha, ha-oh!'' laughed Mr.. Breezy
''What do you mean by laughing at
ne, Mr.. Breezy? I'm sure II
''Ho, no, ha-ohr' and Mr.. Breezy fairly
Dubbed up with laughter.
''Mr. Breezy, you haven't the mannes
savage" cried Mrs. Breezy, push
lg back her hair, land / don't believe
on know any more about Wall street
IAN two weeks old baby" and Mrs.
reezy made Hazae time to the Kitchen
, take revenge upon the cook.-BTooe-
m Eagle.