The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-05-24

leacher--liow docs the earth absorb
waterp Pupil.Like dog. Teacher
How do you make that outp Pupil
Don't we read of the lap of the earthp
Teacher Go up another grade.
Miss Florence Toole, the l4-year-old
daughter of the comedian is describe
ed rs the possessor of remarkable abili-
ty, and it Is thought that her falherwill
presently be able to get his pieces writ
ten for him at home. There's nothing
like having the TooleS in the house
when one wants to construct a play.
A Paris paper tells this purely French
story. A woman seated on u bench in
the Champs Elysees calls the attention
to her neighbor to a passing equipage.
"You sec that little blonde in the car
riage with the tall, dark gentleman
Well, she is my daughter" Indeed!
They are marricd?" "lIep Oh, yes
but not She"
An ancient Bohemian, who has come
into snug fortune, is felicitated warm
ly by an old acquaintance. Eyes" says
the new Crnsus, retlectiycly, lit is n
pleasant thing to have money. And do
you know what is most agreeable about
it? You feel, sir, that you are appreciat-
ed; you find friends who esteem you for
your own qualities alone"
''What is the use of making so much
fuss over the little eccentricitieS Of 9TH
ers at the tablePh exclaimed Fogg.
"Why should humans make any moro
bother about such things than pigsP"
But you must remember that we are
not used to dining with pigs said Pin
grey, spearng the last potato with his
fork. "Some of us are'not and some
of us are" replied Fogg. For some oc-
cult reason everybody looked at Pin
grey and smiled
She wanted to test his affection, so,
picking up tho revolver and putting her
eye to the muzzle, she said innocently,
81 wonder if it's loaded" "Oh, don't
he said, with manifest agitation. 1t sat
isted her that he loved her, and she ask
ed indiilerently, "Why notT BE
cause" he answered, 1--WE got house
rent to pay next month and funeral
would embarrass me.
Sporting, SIS the game pretty good
this season?' asked California tourist
of San Francisco urchin who with diff
iiculty supported upon his shoulder IA
fowling-piece almost as'big as himself.
"Bully," said the boy "Plentyof spipe,
plover, and ducks, | SUPPOSE" "Snipes
-ployors ducks? Naw,' was the con-
temptuous answer "Plcnty Of China
menu
A Hebrew vcnder Of ready-made
clothing who had his nose bitten off ip
struggle with burglar was visited
the next day by sympathizing Israel
tie. 1T ish too pad ishn't t?" said tho
mutiated merchant, extending his hand,
and looking the very picture of melan-
choly. "Py shimminy, it ish, Yacup, "
returned the visitor, sorrowfully con-
templating the havoc that the burglar
had made; nobody would ever know
YOU for a Shew.'
On certain occasion train, which
Mercwether had gone to meet was some
what late A testy old gentleman, a
stranger to Merewether, got out of all
patience at the delay, and exclaimed:
"What an internal station this is! They
try to irritate one on purpose. Look at
| those girls in the refrcshment room;
why do they dress them all in black"
Don't you know?" said Merewether,
| in most solemn tone Of voice, and with
an awe-struck look on his face. "No,"
replied the stranger, in a subdued voice,
and looked quite alarmed. why" said
Merewethor, "thcy are in mourning for
the late train.
A country doctor was sent to see la
borer who had received IA conclusion OF
the brain. He told his wife to apply
leeches, which he promised to send.
The next morning he found the man
worse and dclirious, and asked the wife
whether she used the leochcs. She an
swercd that she had given him one;
whereat she was told by the indignant
doctor that she had risked her hus-
bands life The poor woman pleaded
that she had done her best II cut un
up small, | vincgared and peppered
un; but u d licler die nor take anoth-
en-"