Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-07-26
RLEASAETRIEA
II goes against the grain to gamble in
corn and wheat. J.

II goes against the grain to gamble in
| corn and wheat.
An election, like circus, is generally
carried on under canvass.
WHEN q girl rejects an offer OF mar
riage she goes through slight-of-hand
performance.
The man who was crooked in the
cradle Of the deep" must have slept be-
tween sheets OF water.
An advertiser in Texas calls for can
Industrious man, ~ . boss hand over
5000 head Of sheep, that can speak
Spanish fuently."
MARRIAGE" said an unfortunate
husband, is the churchyard Of lovers.
"And you men, " replied his wife, "are
the grave-diggers."
Why is paper money more valuable
than coin? Because you double it when
you put it in yons pocket. and when you
take it out you find it increases.
SAILORS frequently mutiny for an III
crease ~ their allowance OF grog, and
bread riots are OF common occurrence,
but the only strike for water on record
was when Moses sInote the rock.
A YOUNG widow was asked why she
was going to wed SO soon after the death
OF her first husband. "Oh, lal' said
she, :" / do it to prevent fretting myself
to death on account Of dear Tom !"
"TLL 60 if see fit |" was the excla
nation Of Mrs Tweezers, as her husband
demutred at her attending ball; .Ill 20
il l see fit" very well, then; you'll
see fits if you go r was the crusty re-
ply.
T." WHERE is Block Jsland?" Polite
American" In Rhode Island" t.
" But how can you put one island in an.
other island?". P. A." Oh. that's
nothing. We accomplish anything in
this country"
A YANKEE woman recently married a
Chinese laundryman, and in three DAYS
thereafter the happy Celestial appeared
at BARRIERS shop and ordered his pig
tail cut of, saying in explanation !:
"Too muchee Yankee"
WHEN Boston girl is presented with
a bou4uet she says: ooh, how delicious
ly sweet! Its fragrance impene trates
the entire atmosphere OF the room" A
"Down East girl simply says: cit
smells scrnmptious; thanks, Reuben"
PosToFrIcE clerk: "Here your let
ter is overweight" Pat cover what
weight" Postoflice clerk: cts too
heavy; put another stamp on it. Pat:
"Och, git out wild yer foolin'! Sure if /
put smother stamp on, won't it be heav.
Ter still?"
ANYTHING new ?" asked q reporter
of an acquaintance. "Yes, the heaviest
kind of TN item. See that window up
there?" The reporter nodded. "Well,"
said the man, elm that room is the new
est thing in town; boy baby; Just
born; doctor just gone. You can't find
q fresher item."
MAID, rs by court records doth appear,
Whom $50, 900 made SO dear,
Unto her waiting lover s.ernIy said:
"Fsrego the weed before we 60 to We'd
For smoke take fame. I'll be that flames bright
farmer.
To have ,our Anna, give UP your Havana"
The wretch, when thus she brought him to the
scratch,
Lit his cigar and threw away the match
"ASD the style of beauty OF our
American girls" said Mrs. Glover to the
German nobleman at the Ocean House,
Newport; "what do you think of it,
Baron ?" Fell, was full mid enthu
siastics, Mrs. Glober, and neffer dinks
dot style was possible. Do you know
the name OF good shoemaker? hall
hole init de toe off my boot"