The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-14

Victory at Last for the G. R.
I. & P. Road.
How an Estimable Granger
Achieved a Limburger
Triumph.
The Reddig Wait Deposited
in the Doorway.
An Exceptionally Coed Sup
ply of News for Sun
day Reading.
PAUL, DRIVE FAST.

Out beyond Milan may be found well
| TODD farmer, who came into Illinois as
poor in this worlds goods as the proverbial
Jobs turkey. but who by careful attention
| to work. and wonderful amount of spunk
| and thrift, has contrived to become fore.
work, however, he has been signally assist
ed by his wife, wholesome DAME with a
more than average share of common sense,
who has been helpmeet to her husband
in the fullest acceptation of the term. In
proportion as he prosPered, his enthusiasm
for fast or trotting horses grew apace, and
nothing so filed his soul with true fervor
IS to be travelling over the country behind
a 2:24 nag. His good wife. however, was
as much afraid of fast horse as of boiler
explosion, and could never be induced to
accompany her husband to town at any
price He was an elder in the church, and
as such made it point to drive to town
every Sabbath morning in order to do his
full share of the spiritual labor in the vine
yard, for which a breezy seven mile ride
peculiarly fitted him. For several years
his good wife chad viewed with alarm
the fact that her husbands stables were
gradually filing up with feet steppers, but
having found cut that remonstrance was
useless, she quietly rested in the traces, de-
termined to demonstrate no longer. But at
lass her opposition to fast riding
WAS COMPLETELY OVERCOME,
and it was brought about in this manner:
Last Wednesday she wanted to come to
Rock Island so badly to do some necessary
shopping, that all her natural dislike
to an airy drive hither was
removed upon the solemn assurance of her
husband that he would drive. vely, very
slowly. To town they came, therefore,
and true to his promise the elder drove as
moderately as if jogging homeward from
camp meeting, with the presiding elder as
companion. Right here the truth of his
tory requires the insertion of a fact, a
lamentable one. indeed, considering the
elders exalted spiritual station. He was
passionately fond of - limburger cheese
the kind which would drive the average
dog out of a tan yard. Therefore, while
his wife was meandering about among the
stores he quietly slipped up town and pur-
chasing a small cheese had it wrapped up
securely and put it safely under his buggy
seat. The wicked man then drove back
down town as innocently as if he had
no such dynamite aboard, and after pa
tiently waiting awhile he found his wife,
and about O'Clock p. m they started for
home as demurely and contentedly as while
coming to town. They had barely reached
the outskirts of the city when Mrs. Elder
THREW BACK HER HEAD
and began indurstriously snuffing the at
mosphere like Jobs war horse from afar,
ETC. All this time she said nothing but in
replying to her husbands questioning in a
monosyllabic, absent minded sort of way,
the good instantly OWNED that all was
not well with her. For little while Ion
ger they rode along without much sweet
converse until the good woman could con-
tain herself no longer and she broke out
thus, rather excitedly too. it must be con-
fessed, for the wife of ruling elder:
''Paul, [snuff,] Paul, [snuff. snuff, do
drive fast, [snuff, snuff, snuff, there's
something dead around here" Then the
truly good man, fearing that his game
was up, did drive fast, his good
wife, entirely forgetting or ignoring
her fears, seeming to take sohd
comfort in the thought that they were
rapidly getting away from the vicinity of
SO much decomposing organic matter.
Faster and faster they went, the elder be-
ing continually
sPURRED To LOFTIER ENDEAvoR
by the excited injunctions of his wife, his
soul, meantime, being filed with the most
ecstatic imaginings, till in almost a
shorter time than is required to tell it the
end of the journey was reached and the
couple drove rapidly into their yard.
Then, after helping his wife to alight the
good man took the fragrant package out
from under the seat and the astonished
wife, like the boy caught up the farmers ap-
pie tree, had nothing to say, except to order
it conveyed to the woodhouse in solemn
silence. Her scruples against fast riding,
however, had been wholly overcome, and
to-day she enjoys lively ride as well as