Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-11-04
The Absurlities of Fashion.

DfOau stairway or marble and rosewood l leading to the high backed, Queen-Annt editorial rooms of the HawIeye, the best advertising medium west of the Missis sippi and the most popular paper in the world, now is the time to make uL clubs, yesterday morning. His heavy tread fell noiselessly upon the Pompa- dour velvet carpets, and as he sank int costly escritoire the perfumed light fell through the stained glass tant mieux at the facade of the managing editors ebranlement de cuir touched the old mans face with a softened overmoulou, that seemed like an echo from the state ly renaissance that looked down upon the walls. Carefully moving the elegant Louis Quinze pdSSte- partout where the old man could not tip it over with his feet, if after his usual habit he should choose to rest them on the carved mdu- viS Sujet. the editor asked the honest til- Ter of the sOii how was crops in the Flint river country.
 "Crops?" echoed the man. "Well now I want to tell you about crops. Corn's all right. an oats was better usual an wheat just boomed, but you've got a crop of fools in Burlington that'll just lay over any other green thing that ever drawed the COWS in the state of Iowa"
 The managing editor was surprised, and said he had not heard such intem- perate talk since the prohibition can vass. lie added that there were some fools in Burlington, he had heard, but as they were not subscribers to the HdUkeVe he didn't know much about them and felt very little interest in them.
 "Why, the towns full of 'em," shout ed Mir. ThistlepoOl. who labors under the impression that he can't be heard unless he talks very loud.
 "How can you tell they're fools?' asked the society editor.
 "By their clothes," waved the old man, and the society editor slid as far as he could under the table and then laid his face flat on his arm in order to write more easily. By their clothes" repeated the sturdy old agriculturist. "'Y gaul, if boy of mine 'uz to dress like young fellers I see in this town, I'd beat some sense into him with neck | yoke. Why it's redik' lus, tell ye it's redik'lus. see young chap down in the countin' room with pair O trousers Ou IlIu il1uttI u HOpG to die f didn't think he'd stuck his laigs into a couple O snake skins. N his coat-by jockies, it wasn't hardly | long enough to cover his suspenders; it wasn't. 1 swanny. N it fit him closer than his undershirt and his shirt collar sawed his ears every time he turned his head, n he wore his watch chain out side his coat. An he wore flat hat with round top, about as big as a cooky. An his shoes? P'inched, do ye know, p'inched like toothpicks, m they was long as pickaxes. To see him skippin' around in that git up, lookin' more like a monkey nor a white man. V gaul it made me mad n I swan 1 wanted to lick him. 1 declare I did. There's no sense in a Christian man maxim such an outlandish spectacle of himself an if I ever ketch my boy dressed up in any such dog goned redik' lus, absurd, disgustin' fashion, I'll be gaul swizzled if I-hello, Jasper, are ye waitin' fur me?"
 And saying good bye, Mir. Thistlepod accompanied his son down stairs to the , wagon. As the old man turned to go, he did not in the lesst degree resemble the ''young feller'' down in the count [ ing room. The big felt hat he wore had originally been of some color, but that
 was years ago. The blue merino band 1 sewed on with black thread was toe
 loose and a twine string tied tightly around it, caused the hat to bulge out g above the band like the dome of 6
 mosque.
 The hickory skirt, fashioned at the
 collar in severe complicity with big horn button, scorned a collar of any b kind. The roomv brown vest had foul white bone buttons and black shaw Q pin and through the irregular reticula
 lions of its much abraded back the sOli - tary suspender showed through. reso A lutely clinging to button aft and mai
 forward. The baggy blue trouser t swelled out below the Tapping vest int r an ample dome, strongly creased an
 fearfully wrinkled, breaking, as the ol g man walked, into awful billowy bulge and humps, while one long, deep, diae
 onal crease showed where the trust @ suspcnder, hauled taut from port { V .tarboard, held everything fast on tf quarter. Further down they bagged n great curving pillows at the knees an
 urinkled behind; they were brief, an T. same to an untimely end about foI r, inches before they reached the top She shoe, and they ended abrupt, | same size all the way down and sawe
 square of across the ends. The sho, " were not exactly pointed at the toe l. and when the old mans feet were n, if in them you couldn't bet which way ti
 shoes were pointed. Jasper was a y tired in like manner as his father, on
 being a much taller man his trouse a were correspondingly shorter. As the m passed through the aesthetic decoration
 of the counting room, the man in Il n'' lean pants laughed sneeringly, and M Id Thistlepod laughed tauntingly. Fl
 managing editor sank back in his e ', mine cushioned feur de terre.
 '1 am afraid" he sighed wearil is 'those two people are laughing at eaC ,o others clothes. Burdette.
 A Sum in Arithmetic.