The Portland daily press., 1882-12-22
THE PRESS.
Wit and Wisdom.

i kJEi PRESS.
Wit and Wisdom.
The weigh to wealth-1SO0 pounds to the ton
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Kleptomania is very stubborn and far
reaching disease. Its ravages can only be ar
rested by policeman The Judge
Horsfords Acid Phosphate in Seasick-
ness.
PROF. ADOLPH OFT, New York, says
II used it for seasickness among the passengers
during passage across the Atlantic. In the
plurality of cases saw the violent symptoms
yield, which characterize that disease, and give
way to healthful action of the functions ir-
paired
When mar gives you his hand he does it
cut of friendship. When he gives you his foot
1t is quite another ma ter.-Y onkers Statesman
Group, Diphtheria and Whooping Cough get
prompt relief and rapid cure by the use of
Kurakoff, the wonderful Pine remedy.
The London Lancet says that the people who
sneeze oftenest are the healthiest. A sueeze
sets the blood circulating and throws off cold
which Is trying to settle This medical opin-
ion is evidently made in the interest of snuff
and the public is not yet up to tn. o. Plea
yune.
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enriching the blood, creating
an appetite, or strengthening the whole system
nothing can surpass these remedies
"What impudencep exclaimed Mrs Shod-
dy. "Here is man applying by letter for
situation as coachman, who signs himself
Your obedient servant and I have not even
thought of hiring him yet philadelphia
News.
No other medicine has woa for itself such
universal appreciation in its own city, State
and country. among all people, as Ayers Sar-
saparilla. 1t is the best combination of vege
table blood purifiers, with the Iodide of Potas
stun and Iron, ever offered to the public.
"Well, said philosophic friend to an inva-
lid, chad you good night last night?" "No;
/ never suffered so in my life" Hum!
That's badl But'-brightening up-.syou
know bad night is better than no night at
all''
Niue-tenths of the crime of the world is per-
petrsted after shutdown, and if the Society for
the Prevention of Crime is sincere in its work
it will Immediately ask Congress to enact a
law to prevent the sun going downbefore ten
O'clock p, M.-NorriStoWn Herald
That weak back or pain in the side or hips
y will find Immediately relieved when Hop
Plaster is applied. 1t strengthens the muscles,
giving the ability to do hard work withou suf-
fering. Take none but this, tits sure
Health journals say that to retain sound
constitution man must lie on the right side
Yes; but which is the right side? Every law
yer, preacher and editor in the country
thinks the size he is lying on is the right one.
Texas Siftings.
Atrue iron medicine, beneficial to the young
as well as the old who suffer from dyspepsia,
etc., is Browns Iron Bitters.
Monterey, Mex, is to have street cars We
do not see what they want Of street cars. If a
Mexican had mile to go, he would walk
three miles the other way to catch mustang,
and saddle it, and ride to his destination.
Fond du Lac Reporter.
Kurakoff, the lung healer, and great Pine
remedy contains neither opiates nor narcotics
Free samples to actual sufferers. GupDy, King-
man 81 Alden, Portland, Me.
He was pretty close man, without doubt.
At breakfast be cut an egg in two and gave the
and held ont his plate for more. "Whatl"
gasped the host, "want hull eggp' "Of
course do" said the man The boss stared
blankly at him moment, and then pushing
the half egg across the table, snappishiy cried !:
Take it,, eat 1t, and kill yourself!p The man
ate II and is still alive.-Baiey's Budget.
The interchange of Christmas presents in
many cases means the giving something you
can't afford in return for something you don't
Wilmington Gazette.
"Great MANI" says the drummer of his
friend. " why, he's genius. He lived in a
house for two years and contrived to stave off
paying any rent.'-Boston Post.
In Paris, the first night of anew play brings
out all the literary and cultured people of the
city. In this country such an event brings out
al who hold billboard tiekets.-New Orleans
PicAyune.
Portland lady said: 81 owe my success in