davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
what Woman Thinks of Bachelors
and Married Mcn.

"a bachelor life makes a man cold
and SELFISH" 1 remarked to my wife.
" He becomes afflicted, metaphorically
speaking, With ossifcation of the
heart"
"H'a bachelor life makes a man more
selfish than are most married men," re-
piled Guiana, 81 am sorry for him. But
/ cannot believe it."
/ gazed at her inquiringly.
"I mean," she went on, "that all the
married men ever saw were infinitely.
comprehensively and egotistically self
ish. A bachelor, as a rule, can harm no
one by his selfshness. 1t spends itself
subjectively. Like the asp, he must
sting himself. But with married man
it is different. His selfshness (Which is
another name for the consultation of
ones own feelings, the indulgence of
ones own bad temper), has an objective
outlet. The objects are his family.
When bachelor is out of sorts, tired,
yexed by business troubles, he does not
use it as pretext for making his COM
panions miserable. Not SO with the
head of family. He returns at the
close of the day out of temper. We will
suppose that the family is in pleasant
frame OF mind-perhaps laughing and
iesting. Enter husband, scowl on his
brow, black blood in his heart. The
domestic barometer rapidly falls. The
spirits of all go with it. Dinner is con-
Quoted in the midst Of forced silence,
or perhaps it is seasoned with stinging
remarks from the head of the table.
When every one is rendered thoroughly
miserable, his spirits rise. He has
transferred his troubles to his kin, as
the Israelites did theirs tothe scapegoat.
He is happy"
Guiana" said I, warmly, "I always
thought you had some sense, but see
have been wrong. / never heard sach
cursed nonsense in all my ife."
And, from my standpoint, Inever did.
San Francisco ArgonaaH.
Costly Toilets of Stage Celebrities.
Annie Louise Gary, modest in expendi-
ture, says that her wardrobe for last year,
although she is not by any means the
gorgeous creature whom Worth dresses,
cost $40, 1000.
From that, says q correspondent, we
may get starting point. American
actresses dress more extravagantky than
any women in the world. The foreign
ers who appear before the American
public usually come plainly dressed, but
they are made to understand that cos
tuning is q part of their art. Nine.
Gerster has been wearing the same
clothes ever since her first appearance
here, not that she is accused Of never
having had q new dress, but that she
has not had q new wardrobe. The
cantatrice and her husband are said to be
a prudent pair, and Mime. Etelka puts
her money in bank instead of wearing
| il ON her back.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
[Chicago Times.
"COOL" BURGESS.
THE MAN NOF MANY LAUGH 8.
A SANITY stump Speech by SANITY
Sinner.

The name of the gentleman heading
this article needs no Introductory re-
marks from the writer. Everybody
knows who 5000" Burgess is, and what
he is !; everybody who is anybody has
seen and laughed at his grotesque per-
formances, and enjoyed them in such q
manner as to neverforgetthem. "Cool's"
laugh is contagious and hilarious, and,
like the cut of his unmentionables, is
unlike anything on or off the boards. His
oratorical powers are certainly unequaled,
and, as he says himself without egotism,
he "don't believe that My Lord Roscoe,
with all his boasted powers as an orator,
could deliver my stump speech as I do. !"
We coincide in the opinion ourselves.
Mr.. Burgess tells heap of truth under
the guise Of burlesque in his roaring and
amusing stump speech. His hit at the
navy is pretty good thing; when he
straightens himself up and seriously says
that "we have as much water as ever, I"
and then, "but where, oh where are
our ships ?" the laugh that follows is a
pretty good indication the point is well
taken. Nor is it with water alone that
Mr.. Burgess deals in his oratory; that
gentleman tells some remarkable truths
about oil-one Oil in particular, and that
is st. Jacobs Oil, the Great German
Remedy for rheumatism. We doubt if
he receives more hearty laugh at any
time during his performance-and he
receives many such-than when he tells
everyone to use st. Jacobs Oil, the Great
German Remedy. Mr.. Burgess very
earnestly recommends it as the great
panacea, and to show his esteem of the
Oil produces bottle from the capacious
pocket of his ulster to show that he
knows what he is talking about.
This part of Mr.. Burgess performance
struck the writer as very laughable, and
he called on Mr.. Burgess to ask him how
he came to introduce the Oil in his
speech. In reply to his interrogatories
Mr.. Burgess said:
81 look upon the stage, my dear sir,
as a means of educating the people, and
human nature is such that truth told in
the guise of humor will be remembered
longer than the plain, unvarnished ar
ticle. Every word say regarding the
wonderful merits of st. Jacobs Oil I
mean. I am the greatest admirer of that
wonderful medicine there is in the pro-
fession, and there is not an actor in the
country who will not speak in praise of
the Great German Remedy. The bottle
which is produced by me on the stage is
no 'prop bottle, but the genuine article,
as I never travel without st. Jacobs Oil.
It has cured me of the rheumatism when
I was so bad with that aggravating dis
ease as to have to give up my business.
It cured me permanently, too, and I am
so thankful for being cured that praise
it continually. 1t cured my wife, also,
of the same disease, and know score
of performers who have been cured by
it. In fact, no performer of good sense
travels without that medicine. You know
rheumatism is their special dread; sooner
or later it comes to them all, owing to
their mode of living and travelling"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
Rnilroaders, Relief:

That most comfortable Ticket Office,
1877 West Street, New York, is presided
over by Mr.. @. V. Y. Ward, who thus
addressed one of our representatives
recently: "Some months ago I had
rheumatism in my right arm, and was
unable to raise it. I was advised by q
friend to use st. Jacobs Oil. I did so,
and before the second bottle had been
exhausted my arm was perfectly well. -
Brooklyn Eagle.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

A gorgeous bridal chamber has been
completed for the reception of bride
who has never known the want OF
money, and by whom S100 is spent with
as little thought as many people would
tender a 10-cent piece. The walls are
covered with heavy white satin, tufted
with gold buttons, and mirrors are In
terjected here and there. The ceiling is
painted in the most artistic manner, and
the curtains are of white silk, embroid-
cred in gold and rich colorings in floral
designs. These curtains are mounted
ON gilt poles, and, when drawn back,
disclose lace drop curtains that cost $500
q window. The portieres are of white
silk plush, with dado embroidery match
ing the curtains. The furniture is treat
ed with the same material as the cur
tains, and what little of the framework
is seen is found to be heavily gilded. A
table cover in white silk plush shows
gold embroidery. and is bordered with
rich gold bullion fringe, with point d
spange heading. The fringe is seven
inches deep.-BrookIyn Eagle.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
The Advantage of Going Through
the Motions.


"Sometimes," says q photographer,
eve have to take almost innumerable
negatives, and bother with customers
for hours before we get one that suits.
One day a young lady came in and COM
posed her frizzles for picture. I made
an exposure and showed her the mega
tive.
That's vey good, said she, but I
don't like the way my hair is fixed, ex-
actly, and want another sitting
"tAll right said I, handing the plate
to my assistant, who was in the dark
room.
"She pulled the frizzles down nearer
her eyes, arranged her visible pet, and
said she was ready.
"l went through the motions, the
same as before, while she sat smiling at
the camera, in which there was no plate.
My assistant had it and was making a
few scratches on the forehead, to repre-
sent the lowered frizzles.
"'That's just right now in regard tc
the hair, said she, when I showed it tc
her, but wish it was little lighter,
I'd like to sit again.
"' ALI right, said I, and went through
all the motions again. She went through
the same smile, and supposed new
plate was in the camera, whereas it was
simply drying up in the darkroom.
When lis dry it is always lighter.
"When showed it to her she said i
was better, but had hardly color enough
in the cheeks, and she'd have to 81
again. I went through all the motions
as before, while my assistant was tintine
the plate in the darkroom. When
showed the plate to her she said it suit
ed her exactly"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

GENIUS is infinitely more than talent.
Talent labors, studies, combines, 80 its
products are combinations and the Joints
and crevices show more or less. Genius
creates separate, indivisible units. Tai
ent initiates, improves, completes, it can
only initiate nature to certain extent
Genius initiates not like the silk-worm
it brings forth the finest tissues from its
own body. Talent may be inherited !;
genius is communicated from on high
Rabbi Wise.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

81 WONDER" said young hopeful of
seven, who had been to a grand wedding
in stylish church, wonder why the
organ played Lo-he-grins % elbow
very stupid, Freddie |" was the prompt
reply of his younger sister. eft wasn't
Lo-he-grins it was Lo-he's-green."
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

THERE seems to be rage just now
among people who are afflicted with dys-
pepsia to drink a glass of hot water be-
fore breakfast. Astonishing cures are
reported but, on the whole, it seems
that the dyspeptics who are loudest in
their praises of the hot-water cocktail
are the ones who have not yet tried it.
They are about equally divided with the
people who praise the juice Of oranges
in the morning. The man who praises
the juice of apples before breakfast and
all the time lives numerously in New
Jersey.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

AS A young shaver of five or six years
was reading at school one day, he came
upon the passage, "Keep thy tongue
from evil and thy lips from guile. +"
Master Hopeful drawled out, "Keep-
thy -tongue-from = evi-and- thy
Gps-from-girls."
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.
NY First Love.

His hair was black as ravens wing,
He had the brow Of King;
His eyes were luminous wells Of gray,
And how the creature could singi
i fell in love with his long mustache,
Twas grand, twas utterly too;
] laid my heart at my hero's feet,
As schoolgirls frequently do.
/ might have married him-I can't tell
He loved me alone, be said;
But he robbed our house one winter night
OF all our jewels, and fed
We met once more. He was caught and tried
Alas his mustache was gone;
Without a wig, his hair was rs red
As any the sun shines on.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
On Thirty Days Trial.

ON InHFty 11ays HrIAi.
The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, will
send their Electro-Voltaic Belts and other
Electric Appliances ON trial for thirty days to
any person afflicted with Nervous Debility,
Lost Vitality, and kindred troubles, guarantee
ing complete restoration Of vigor and manhood.
Address as above without delay.
P. S.-No risk is incurred, as thirty days
trial ia allowed
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

A BROOKLYN man received $12, 800
damages from street-car company for
the loss of leg, and now the drivers
have to stop their horses every few
blocks to rull enterprising citizens off
the rails. Philadelphia NeaDs.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

COLDS yield to onions like magic, but DR..
Bulls Cough Syrup is q still better and by far
more agreeable means of curing Gold or Cough.
You can buy q bottle for Is cents at any drug
store, and we are sure it will do the work every
lima
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
WHAT we charitably forgive will be
recompensed as well as what we chari-
tably give.
+" In n Decliuc.ss

DR.. r. V. PIERCE Dear ,Si,'-Last fall my
daughter was in decline and everybody thought
she was going into the consumption. got her
a bottle of your "Favorite Prescription" and it
cured her. OF all druggists.
MRS. Mary HINsoN, Montrose, Kan.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
Mental YassalagA.

The attempt in England to impose
avil disabilities upon man because OF
his religious belief, as in the Bradlaugh
,ase, will bear its fruits. Sensible and
just people will see the folly and the
wickedness of the stab at the liberty of
thought. Gladstone believes In the
Christian God. Bradlaugh does not be-
ieve in any God. No one objects to
Gladstone for his belief, to the extent of
trying to handicap him in political ac-
hon. No one has a right to do SO. Any
one with spirit above beast, willingly
accords him his religious opinions. Then
why not extend the same generosity to
Bradlaugh? He is a man of liberal
mind, and SO far as we know, he has al
ways plead for the advancement of his
people. He has not been trucking to
power. He has not been slave to the
opinion of others. He has often and al
ways spoken for the weak and plead the
cause of the poor. But prejudice, in
trenched behind public opinion, has
ostracised him and driven him out of Of
fee, or refused him seat in Parliament,
because he did not believe in the God
worshiped by the orthodox members OF
that body. In England it appears that
the people are more generous than their
representatives. No sooner is Mr.. Brad
laugh rejected by the House of Com
mons than his constituents honor him by
| returning him to Parliament. There will
never be any real honesty in politics or
| in religion until men and women can
| think and speak freely. The politician
is still in bondage. Where is the one
who dares to be exactly what he is :?
Where is the one who is not in sublec-
tion to some society-some secular or re-
ligious society? Here are few words
from Colonel Ingerson, which may be
worth considering. He says: 81 would
like to iberate the politicians. At pres
ent the successful ofice-seeker is good
deal like the center of the earth; he
weighs nothing himself, but draws
everything else to him. There are SO
many societies, SO many churches, SO
many isms, that it is almost impossible for
an independent man to succeed in polit-
ical career. Candidates are forced to
pretend that they are Catholics with
Protestant proclivities, or Christians with
liberal tendencies, or temperance men
who now and then take glass of wine,
Or, that although not members OF any
church, their wives are, and that they
subscribe literally to all. The result of
all this is that we reward hypocrisy and
elect men entirely destitute of any real
principle; and this will never change un-
til the people become grand enough to
allow each other to do their own think
ing." A man ought to be the master OF
the institutions which he has created.
He ought to stand above them. Noman
ought to be either a physical slave or a
mental serf This world will not be
much of paradise so long as the indi-
viduals in it are willing to be the servants
to fear and prejudices. The religious
world and the political world will both
be improved when thought is unclaimed,
and when every idea can be honestly and
fearlessly expressed everywhere. Fetters
should be broken from the mind, and
mental vassalage of every kind should
come to an nend.-Iadia,aapoli Herald
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
Wrecked Women.

The wisdom of this age must see that
this constant never ending wear and tear
OF mind and muscle must and does make
wrecks of women that it enfeebles the
body and dwarfs the mind that it pre-
vents women from developing healthy,
stout -limbed, full-lunged and broad
chested offsprings that for a proper
mental and physical development there
should be each day some period of ofabsolute
waking Rst and leisure for recuperation,
for social enjoyment, for the cultivation
of some special pursuit, for getting COM
pletely outside of and from the home
cares, and thereby getting back to them
stronger and better that the poor of all
degrees are as much entitled to such
leisure as the rich; that physical ex-
haustion perpetuated in the child is one
great source of vice and crime that
Guiteau himself of this may be cited as
fearful proof, the testimony at the trial
showing that his mother was overworked
previous to his birth, and thereby he
came into the world malformed as to
cranial developments moral monstros-
ity.
There must be a number of screws
loose somewhere in the domestic and
social machinery, and I think chief
among these are lack of method, lack OF
forethought, lack of calculation, lack of
consideration and appreciation by men
of the extent and exhausting character
of woman's domestic indoor work. ALI
of which, summed up, amounts to the
lack, in many quarters, of the recog-
milton of tie care of the house, care of
the family and care of the table at sci
ence.-Pre,atice MuifOrd.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
PERILs OF the DEEP.

"During my trip down the River Tsgus, in
SPAIN" said Captain Boyton to q representative
Of this journal In . recent conversation BY the
sea shore, "I had to shoot 105 waterfalls the
largest being about eighty-f feet, and innumer:
had three ribs broken in a fight with sharks; and
coming down the Somane, river in France,
received charge of shot from an excited ana
pleasant and might be termed dangerous. fear
nothing more on my trip than intense cold; fof,
as long az my limbs are free and easy ana not
cramped or benumbed am al right OF Late
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
PrOpagating Plants.

The propagation of plants by cutting
is not difficult operation; yet it would
seem that horticulturists have taken
especial pains to obstruct the operation
with so many difficult conditions that
amateurs have been discouraged from
undertaking this delightful and satis-
factory employment. To be successful
it is absolutely necessary that the plant
from which the cutting or slip" is
obtained should be in perfect health.
If this is weak or diseased, failure will
be the result. An excellent method to
prove the proper condition of the plant
from which we wish to root cuttings, is
to note if the slip breaks or snaps clean
off, instead of bending or kneeing. If
it snaps clearly off it is in the right state
to root freely should it bend and not
break it is too old, when if it roots at all
it will be slowly and make but sickly
plant. With but few exceptions, cut
tings of all kinds root freely from slips
taken from young wood before it be-
comes hardened The practice of cut
ting at or below joint, which has been
generally considered practicable, has
been the cause of numerous failures,
from the fact that when a slip is cut at a
joint, the shoot has frequently grown too
hard at that point, while half an inch
higher up or above the joint, the best
condition will be discovered.
| It is wisest to pot off cuttings as soon
! as rooted, even if the roots are very
small. Half an inch is the best length
for them to be; they will spindle and
become weakly if left longer, and when
once in the pot will not flourish as well.
| The soil should be finely sifted and the
pots about two inches wide and in depth.
After potting, place on boards or
| benches covered with an inch of sand,
sprinkle freely with fine watering pot,
and shade four or fine days. By that
time they will begin to root, when no
| further shading is necessary.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

WEAK lungs, splitting of blood, consumption,
and kindred affections, cured without physician.
Address fer treatise, with two stamps, WoKLD's
DIsPENsARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, NY.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

carry a stock Of ST. JACOBS OH in my little boat
(The Captain calls it "Baby Mine," and has stored
therein signal rockets, thermometer, compass,
provisions, etc. land have but little trouble.
Before starting out rub myself thoroughly with
wonderful. From constant exposure am some
what subject to rheumatic pains, and nothing
Great German Remedy. Why, on my travels
have met people who had been suffering with
rheumatism for years; by my advice they used
the Oil and it cured them. would sooner do
without food for days than be without this rem
edy for one hour. In fact would not attempt
trip without it." The Captain became very en-
thtsiastic on the subject of ST. JACOBS OH, and
when we left him he was still citing instances OF
the curative qualities of the Great German Rem.
edy to o party around him.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

A APrrTsBURaH man arriving in Newark
ordered cabman to drive him to the
Newark Steel Works, and cabby inno-
Gently took him to the City Hall.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

PURE cod-liver oil, from selected livers, on
the sea shore, by Caswell, Hazard & Co., N. Y.
Absolutely pure and sweet. Patients who have
once taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians
declare it superior to all other oils.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

The success Of st. Jacobs Oil through
out the civilized world, is without q
parallel -Richmon (Va.) Southern
Planter & Farmer.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

TIE New Worlds Dispensary and Invalid's
Hotel, at Buffalo, N. Y, is now completed and
ready to receive patients.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

CHAPPED hands, face, pimples and rough skin
sured by using Juniper Tar Soap, made by Cas-
well, Hazard & Co., New York.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
Rl,eumntIc Relief.

OMAHA, NEB., May "a, 1881.
II. H. WARMER Il Co.: Sirs-Ihave frequently
used your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure for
rheumatic attacks aud have always derived
benefit therefrom. Il. ID. KITToN,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

SAVE doctors bill by keeping the system in
order with Kidney-Wort. It will do it.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

THERE are four kinds of men who lose
time-the man who is always waiting at
the street corners trying to persuade bis
little dog to catch up to him the man
who spends four or five hours day try
ing to color bogus meerschaum pipe
the man who is generally explaining to
his friends how and under what circum-
stances he was presented with his ex.
pensive cane, and the man who, having
pretty hair, wishes to keep the part ir
exact shape and appearance.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13

s'HOugh ON Rats"
Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies, ants,
bedbugs, skunks, chipmunks, gophers. 15c.
Druggists.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-04-13
TRY the new brand Spring Tobacco.

SEND name and address to Cragin i Co.,
Philadelphia, Pa, for cook book free.