davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

| had had dim ideas of snowy garments
dyed purple with the juice of grapes, and the
delicate feet of girls treading the luscious fruit
under the shade of vIneclad trelllses in the
open air In my Imagination there were toun-
tains of pure water washing away all stains
and impurities, and long professions of men
and maidens bearing the fruit on their heads,
all decked with flowers, and singing and
dancing to the sound of harps and flutes. Had
not seen pictures to that effect, read pOetical
descriptions Of 1t, and had ! not always been
encouraged by my childhood's instructors in
this deluslon? And now, behold there were
not any snowy garments at all; the 1ungari-
ans had on coarse shirts and loose drawers
tucked above the knee, and came to the con-
cluslOn that they had never seen any fountains
of pure water, and wouldn't have known the
use Of them If they had. For there was a
kind of grimness about them, burned in by the
sun, which seemed to indicate that they never
washed either themselves or their clothes.
In fact they had fine contempt for the ordi.
nary rules of cleanliness. One black.eyed
purplelegged fellow, with the grape Juice
just drying on his bare feet, seized a basket,
and ran off down the steps are into the vine
yard and presently returning with load OF the
fruit, shot it into the press, and, with all the
dust and dirt of the road still clinging to his
feet mounted, and began to tread the grapes,
and soon stood almost knee deep in the liquor,
which, having served him as a sort of foot
bath, was to be the drink, perhaps, of future
generations of refined fastidious palates. Hav-
ing seen this became melancholy and pre-
ferred to leave the rest OF the manipulations
of earh's choicest nectar in obsCurlty-L0R-
IOD Ir00Su
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
Changing Places,

A citizen who has an office IN the top story
of a block had half a ton of coal dumped on
the walk, and the cart hadn't yet disappeared
when boy came putting up stairs and called
out:
"Say, want that coal lugged ups"
That's no way to address person" re
piled the man. why don't you address me
in civil, polite manner"
Dunno how" answered the boy.
- "Well I'll show you. SIT down here, and
suppose you are the owner of the Office and I
sm boy who wants TO bring up your coal"
He stepped into the hall and knocked on
the door, and, as the boy cried out Come H."
the man entered he room with his hat IN his
hand, and begun:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

Topnoody made up his mind that he was
not going to be bossed any longer by his wife
80 when he went home at noon he called on,
imperiously, Mrs. Topnoody Mrs Topnoody!
Mrs. T. came out of the kitchen with drop
of sweat on the end of her nose, a dish rag
tied round her head, and a rolling-pin in hel
hand
"Well sir" she said, "what'll you have:"
Topnoody staggered, but braced up Mrs
Topnoody, want you to understand, madam
and he tapped his breast dramatically"
am the engineer of this establishment
"Oh, you are, are you? Well, Topnoody,
want you to understand that land she look
ed dangerous-"l am the boiler that will blow
up and sling the engineer over into the mex
county. Do you hear the steam escaping
Topnoody?"
Topnoody heard 1t, and he meekly inquired
if there was any assistance he could render in
the house-work.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

We like to keep the world informed Of the
progress of American inventions. The latest
comes to us from the far west. Some enter
prising Capitalists" and financial" gentle.
men moved into Dakota Territory, formed
themselves into county," passed laws and
regulations and gave themselves a standing IN
the eyes of the financial world. They then is
sued bonds to the amount of two hundred
thousand dollars as douglas county bonds"
and brought them oyer to New York for our
unsuspectlng Wall street lambs. There was
no such county, no population, no legal or
ganlzation-simply shrewd, thievlng eXped-
lent which surpasses the brightest exploits of
the manipulators of our elevated railway
stocks.
We have not heard what has become of
the bonds" whether they are held by banks
or trust companies, but we have no doubt that
there are enterprlsing gentlemen enough IN
the community to organize u dozen other
counties" and issue as many bonds" as the
street VIII buy. The whole business is ieloni
Gus, but it Is not any more so than many finan
cial experiments of recent years IN the way of
issuing railroad bonds" upon roads that have
no value and selling them to confding invest
ors.-N. y. Herald. --
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
Drugs, Paints, Oils, C0l0rs, VarliSles, Glass

In Drugs and Medicines purity and care in
compounding are of the greatest Importance.
The undersigned calls your attention to this.
as ne exercised great care in selecting his
Drugs and in the preparing of the same not
only the greatest care is exercised. but every
thing is proceeded with scientifically. The
stock is the most varied in this county, and
the prices always the lowest, quality consid-
dered. You will also find the finest stock of
Druggists Sundries, Yankee Notions. Toilet
Goods of every description, Fancy Articles for
weddings, birthdays, &c.
In Paints, Oils, Brushes, Colors, Varnishes,
Plate and Window Glass, no competitor will
sincerely claim to equal my stock, neither in
quantity, quality or price, my goods being the
guaranteed My facilities for handling goods
are double those of any other establishment.
Thanking the public for their liberal patron
age in the past, and hoping to serve the same
and a great many more in 1881. l am truly
yours G.. GEHRING, Druggist,
North of Court House, Ottawa, Ill.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

Money was set by Detroit woman to her
daughter in England TO bring her, with her
husband and two children, TO this country.
When the remittance was received the hus-
band was i'll in hospital, and the wife was IN
love with another man. The bold plan of hav.
ing the latter personate the husband, whom
the mother had never seen, was Immediately
carried out. The elopement party were cor
daily received by the relatives IN Detroit, and
the fraud might not have been discovered if
one of the children had not made a casual re-
mark about liking its old papa better than the
new one. That led to an exposure of the truth
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
BUDGET OF FUN.

"No," said the hank cashier; II didn't need
the money l wasn't specializing. had no
necessity for stealing 1t, But, hang 1t, | didn't
want to be called eccentric.n
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

lie took Glove; SAID Brown, who had just
returned from visit outside between the acts.
90, darling, | had such fright, 1t almost
took my breath away" "Mercym exclaimed
Mrs. b., turning her face away, Il wish it had
John" And John looked sheepish enough
as he slyly inserted Glove in his mouth-Bos.
ton TianSrTpt.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

A gentleman went INTO Pearl street dry
goods store yesterday, and asked for ten yards
Of naked cambria" The young lady blushed
and said: 81 guess you mean undressed cam
brio" "Oh, yes; that's lt."-1lJany argus.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

Friends" once SAID "a clergyman to mum.
Der of people WHO had entered his church for
the purpose of getting out of the ram. II
have often heard of the church being used as
cloak for ones sins but this is the first time
ever heard of its being used as an umbrella"
UdrrdyH LdmDOOH,
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

Job Shuttle has abandoned going to the the.
atre altogether, When he wants an evenings
enjoyment he hangs his wifes new Rem
brandt" beaver hat on the gas bracket, sits be-
hind II and looks at it intensely lie gets just
as much as he would by going to the theatre,
and saves the price Of a ticket.-Nem Hdcen
HeliSter
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

a young man proposed for the hand of a
beautiful gil, As she hesltaed about reply
ing, he said; 81 wait your answer with baited
breath" The girl who is Il good deal of a
humorist, said: "Well, Err. Man, you Will have
to bait your breath with something besides
hIghwlnes ana Limberger cheese to catch
your humble servant. Good evening"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

A candidate for the Office of Auditor of
Public Accounts was suddenly called upon
for speech. On rising, he said Fellow cit
liens, you have called on me for few re
marks. have no prepared speech, Indeed,
| am no speaker; do not desire to be a
speaker only want to he an AUDITOR
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
Tax Receipt-.

Collectors will find tax receipts, in any guam
tity desired, Of desirable sizes, machine ruled
and elegantly printed, at reasonable prices at
Osman & Hapeman's. Orders by mail promptly
attended to-
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

"Why, my dear" said a lady last evening,
"when did you return from Washington
"Only yesterday. And I've had such a
splendid time. Went to the Guiteau trial,
and"
ooh, did you? Wasn't that splendid?"
YES, indeed If they hang him it will be
so nice to say that | saw him" That's all
we heard Oh, tenderhearted woman.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
every farmer
Should Own this Book.

Thousands who have seen 1t commend It, and many good
hoTsemen rXtoed II In the highest terms stating
that they preferred II To books which cost 81 10 so
Do not throw away your money IN the purchase OF costly
books on the HORSE which so full of Latin phrases and
technical terms to be unincighe the average reader
but buy kENDAlL'S TREATISE, u book of ~ pages, in
paper covers giving you more practical Information than Is
contained IN larger volumes at far higher cost.
Having examined this book thoroughly, are satisfied
hOrseownCr would hesitate moment about Investing -
cents IN It's purchase did the value OF its
contents. Recognizing the desirabty OF having such prac
tca information farming friends daily need In their
business provided reasonable cost. instead OF being
obliged To pay the enormous prOht demanded by the pub
fishers of most Agricultural Books have secured several
thousand copies OF this valuable little TREATISE ON THE
HORSE single copies of which shall be pleased TO NAL
to any of this paper postage prepaid By
cept OF twenty-five cents RemittanCrs may be made In
currency silver stamps. Send all orders -
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
Farm for Sale.

The Southwest Quarter OF section Twenty-Five Township
Thirty North. OF Range Three in the Town of Dayton
containing one hundred and sixty acres.
Also the southwest Quarter Of Section Thrtynye, In
Township Thrythree North of Range Four in The Town
OF Fall River.
For ters of sale and other Information enquire at the
office of LELAND d GILBERT in the Opcrs House Block
Ottawa Illinois. luna
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

Perfectly water proof: Preacher (arrving
drenched)-"What shall do, Mrs. McGregor? .
woman-"Get into the pulpit as sumo as ye
can. Yen be dhry emo there"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07
THE wOMEN'S HOSPITAL
OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS,
,Ti Collage Grore Ape.. Chicago. II

81 Collage Grove Ape., Chicago III
charitable institutions Incorporated Sept 1871;
devoted exclusively to the treatment of the diseases and &C
cdepts peculiar women Provided with full corps OF
surgeons For admission circulars containing
further information, address DR. ELEANOR NJ sTAL
la RID ResIdent Physiclan moves
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-07

THE LATEST NOVELTIES II ,ios So,
O.rr an Ap.psmsr's. v,s' ofCoat Hnass-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13
No Room in Heaven for Such Small Soul.

A citizen of Michigan who has some
thing of areputation for his infidel views
and arguments happened to meet seven
or eight clergyman at railroad station
as they were waiting to take the train
to attend conference, and introducing
himself to one of them he said Il
want half an hours talk with the smar-
test one in your crowd. Who is he p
"Well Brother White is pretty smart, :"
was the reply, The infdel walked up
to the clergyman named and buntly
began; Preacher White, you hold that
there is God, don't your "Yes, sir"
"And a heaven and help "Yes
sir. "And that none but believers can
be saved 7" "Just So "Well, sir, |
don't believe any such thing,and I'll
defy you to convince me-" II shant
try to, sir "You won't? Don't you
want me to be saved ?' mo, sir no
sir. wouldn't waste five minutes
to send you straight to heaven" "Why
not ? "Why,not3" Why, sir, folks
have been going to heaven by the mil
lion for thousands of years, and there
is now such crowd up there that a
small soul like yours could no more be
found or heard of than an atom of sand
thrown into the middle of the ocean.
It's too small potatoes to pay for the
hoeing II Detroit Ffee Press,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13
w, A. CLIpPINGER,
PULP Thomas, SCom.
III. &. PARpoE,
Stammering It's Cure.

Stammering or suffering varies all
the way from a slight impediment in
the speech to difficulty of utterance
that is painful to those who witness it.
Authorities agree that it is, as a gen
eral thing, a nervous affection, and the
successful methods of treating it are
those that give the patient control
over those nerves and muscles con-
cerned in articulation. 1t is singular
fact that those who stammer most
violently can usually sing without inn
pediment. We had the pleasure of
visit few weeks ago from the cmi-
neut DIR. Dawson Turner, of London,
Eng, who told us of method by
which he had cured confirmed cases of
stammering. 1t being a nervous af-
fection, everything tending to excite
ment should be avoided Talk to the
patient quietly, and ask him TO sit
down with you where no others will be
present. 1t is important to divert his
attention from the organs of speech,
therefore show him how to shut his
hand with the forehnger only extended,
as one would naturally do in pointing
to distant object. Engage his atten-
tion as much as possible on the proper
position of the fingers. Then ask him
to repeat any sentence after you, fol
lowing you in making tap with the
finger after each syllable. The taps
may be made by the forehnger of the
right hand in the palm of the left
| hand hut nrpiarahlv IN q tnbla Dr
Turner told us of his cure of the en-
gneer on an ocean steamer upon which
he was a passenger, The engineer
was highly esteemed for his skill, but
his inveterate stammering so interfered
with his usefulness that it nearly un-
fitted him for his position, as in an
emergency he was unable to say what
should be said promptly. The doctor
had given the engineer a few lessons
with success, and the captain was
much surprised to have the engineer
come to him one day with, "Cap tap,
tain tap, the tap, pro-tap, pei tap ler,
tap, is tap, bro-tal', ken tap, and tap
we tap, must tap, lay tap, to tap, fol
tap, re-tap, pairs tap" TO have given
this message in his usual manner
would have required long time and 1
severe struggle. This illustrates Tho
method: Some quiet friend should
first practice with the stammerer alone
until he can speak without difficulty
and then gradually accustom him iC
J the presence OF others.-ADierica,
AgrtctttturiSt.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13

March, 8, 80. ly
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13

August, 4 's2 ly
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13
A FRIEND IN NEED.

Time over and again Thomas Ec.
lectric Oil has proved a salutary friend
to the distressed. AS a reliable cura,
tive for Group in children, sore throat
and bronchial affections, and as a
positive external remedy for pain, it is
a never failing antidote.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13
JAMES REILLY,
Ton A ptiSt.

|TOnSO110I ArClSU,
Is again at his old stand under EXCHANGE
HOTEL, and has as usual FlRST-CLASS
BARBER SHOP. lie respectfully solicits the
patronage Of his old customers and Of the public
generally, jaly l6, soft
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13

e7OA WEEK. sl2 a day at home easily made
vi nCostly outht free. Address TRUE 90
Augusta, Maine. march ~ -iy
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13

BRowN's IRON BITTERs
will have a better tonic
effect upon any one who
needs "bracing up" than
any medicine made.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-10-13
C,IRE INSURANCE.
CHRISTIAN =. KNAPP, BLooMsBURG, PA.

BRITISH AMERICA ASSURANCE COMPANY,
GERM AN FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY.
NATIONAL FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY.
UNION INSURANCE COMPANY.
These OLD CORPORATIONS are well seasoned by
age and FIRE TKsTBD and have never yet had q
loss settled by any court OF law. Their assets
are all invested In SOLID sgCURIrIRsand are liable
to the hazard OF PIRk only.
Losses PROMPTLY and HONESTLY adjusted and
paid as soon as determined by CHRIsTIAH u.
SURG, PA.
The people OF Columbia county should patron
ize the agency where losses II any are settle !
and paid oy one OF their own citizens,
PROMP1NEsS, EQUITY, FAIR DEALING.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-05-11

the White House grounds. President
Buchanan was very fond of buckwheat
C ikes. The day before Sickle- shot
Key, Mrs Sickles went over to the
White House to invite President Buch-
anan to come over and break asst with
her. She told Buchanan that she had
received some very fine buckwheat from
Pennsylvania, and if he would come
over to breakfast with her he might
have some of his favOrite cakes. Mr..
Buchanan said he would; that is to say,
that he could then see no reason why he
would not. He had never heard of the
scandal about her and Key, which was
then the leading topic in Washington.
After Mrs. Sickles had gone, Mr.. Buch-
anan spoke to Miss Harriet Lane, who
is now Mrs. johnson, of Baltimore, about
it. She said: Mr.. Buchanan, [ would
not go TO that Breakfast" He asked:
Why" She said: 81 would not like to
explain" Her little word, or sugges-
ton, made such an impression upon MIR.
Buchanan that he staid away. The af-
ternoon of that day Sickles shot Key.
Afterward Buchanan said: MY God!
what an escape! If I had gone t. that
breakfast tins morning | would have
gone down to posterty as one of her
lovers. / would have been involved III
that scandal, and God himself could
not have saved my reputation"
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-05-11
TEEE2 GREAT SAHARA.
a scheme 10 Change the Deser
IntOa sea.

The long talked of scheme for CONVEX
ting the Desert of Sahara, OF at least a
part of it, iuto lake is about to be car
ried ont. The French cabinet has APP
proved the pan drawn up by NJ. de
Lesseps, in accordance with which a
canal is to be dug from the Mediterra-
mean near the Gulf of Gabes to the des-
ert; and as N. de Lesseps has already
accomplished engineering feats much
more diff ;ult than the one now under
contemplation, it is in every way proba-
BILE that the canal will be dug and the
Mediterranean let loose on the desert
within a few years.
The advantages of the scheme are
twofold. The canal will separate Tunis
and Algiers from Tripoli and thus meas
urably lessen the danger OF an invasion
o the French possessions by the Tripod
itans. At least this is the opinion of
the French cabinet. 1t might be s1Ig-
gcsted that canal of one hundred feet
in width would not be an insuperable
obstacI. to horsemen, who could swim
it, or to foot soldiers, who could cross it
on RATS. Still. the canal rouIl nm
doubleday be made line of defence and
would add to the security of Tunis to
some extent.
The other advantages of converting
the Sahara into a lake are partly com
mercial and partly hygienic. Tie eli
mate of the coast would, of course,
become much cooler than it now is re
the not desert to be laid under water,
and the marshes lying south Of Tuuis
would no 10 ger breed feve,s were they
made part of an island sea. If the
level of the desert is such that the Med
iterranean when once admitted to 1t
will reach as far as TimbuctoO and the
fertile regions south of the Sahara, com
munlcation with those now practically
inaccessible regions can be easily e.
ia lished, and such trade as can be car
ried on with the Central African nations
will be monopolized by the French. In
our present ignorance Of the to ography
of Sahara, it is, of course, uncertain how
much of the desert is below the Level OF
the sea, and it is impossible to tell
whether the effect of NJ. de Lessep's ca
nal will be to convert the whole desert
into vast inland sea or merely to form
a small lake Immediately south of Tunis
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-05-11
Ora in.

hereby inform my friends and the
public. that | have removed my office
from Fast Waco 10 the Lusk building
north side of the public square, where a.
manager for Mr.. julius G. Wiley, ] will
buy grain and other produce the present
season fer his account. | will also buy
for d, livery at stations on the HOus on
and Texas Central. Missouri Pacific,
Gulf Colorado ami Stnta F'e or Texas and
st. Louis roads where shipping facilities
iii permit. | wi | continue branch OF
flee 1T my old stand in East Waco. for the
purpose of accommodating receipts on
tie east side of the river. Thanking YOU
for past patronage, respectfully ask a
continuance otlhe same in my new rela-
tons. Very Respectfully,
) limo \. e. \. ROGERS.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-05-11
Buchanan's Escape from
Scandal.
Washington Post.

Buchanan, when he was minister to
England-before his election as Presi-
dent-had wi h him as secre airy If the
legation, General Sickles. S ckles' wife
WIS a crazy headed,u disciplined, merry
American gil, who was made a great
deal of by Burnanan. When Buchanan
was elected to the Presidency, Sickles
came to Washington and Buchanan con,
tinued his intimate rela ions with the
family. 1t will be remembered that the
old Sickles mansion is on one SHE Of
Lrfaye tie Park-the park that fronts Oh
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-05-11
Oar Suburban Friends.

If we wish to note the progress in
aesthetics, we must only observe the
great change that has taken place in our
own people, though far removed from
art, scientific and fashion centers. Blu
a few years ago, most of our country
friends wore ready-trimmed hats, pur-
chased at dry goods houses, but now
the masses flock to the Fashio. Bazaar
for their millinery, demonstrating that
the philosophy of taste" has been
studied to some advantage. d&w