Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-06-08

How to manage bachelors-M Mise
manage them.
When Danae saw Jupiter descending
in a shower Of gold, she simply re-
marked: "The rain is ore.''
During the last fiscal year 1904
tons OF mahogany were exported from
the state OF Tabasco, Mexico.
Why should the whale be called the
politician of the scar Because he fire.
Quently comes to the surface to spout.
A bare foot is said to be a good tacks
collector. But it is bad for the owner
of the foot when. the iron enters its
sole.
A young man who passed pleasant
evening afterwards wished he had
stopped and participated in the enjoy
mentS.
Talk of the "good old timesr Why,
in the good old times. they used to
hang woman in England merely for
"hooking" a dress.
Somebody calls this the locomotive
age. That is perhaps the reason that
so many vaporize and blow off steam
in such an extravagant way.
As physician was feeling a little
girls pulse. she said: @It's no use to
feel of nay wrist. Doctor. The pain
isn't there. tie in my head.
A Venetian glass manufacturer is
making ladies' bonnets of glass, SIMMER
and OF better color than silk, and
standing rain without injury.
"It's no use to feel of me wrist, doc.
ther." said Pat. when the physician be-
gun taking his pulse; .'the pain is not
there, SURF: it's in me hid iniiIely."
81 never can be proud of my native
land" moaned beautiful girl. why
noty" asked sympathetic young man.
Because | was born at sea-" she sob
bed.
"Mr. Brown, why do you wear that
bad hatr' Because, my dear sir, my
girl vows she will not enter an ice
cream saloon with me until get new
one"
There is physician to every 500 or
600 of the population in the United
States. The permanent ratio of the
sick is eighteen to twenty-five per
1000.
''Why IS it," exclaimed lecturer
why is it that this age is so full of
falsehood? p Because SO. many words
have to pass through false teetb,' cried
an auditor.
A gentleman writes from Manitoba
that he sailed over $4,000 farm in a
large steamboat, few days ago. The
said farm produced forty bushels of
wheat to the acre last year.
The yield of the potato crop in the
neighborhood of Charleston, s. c.. ia
probably the largest ever known.
Thousands of barrels are lrried to
the city every day from the farms
The 100000 of our population
have Protestant minister for every
72o persons, and a Sabbath-school
teacher for every Sc. One in every
five is member of an Evangelical
church.
A prominent stock. grower of Albu
querque, N. M, has in the last few
weeks lost $50 head of horses out of a
herd of 10 from eating lhe loco weed.
The dead horses were valued at about
$4,000.
"How do manage to rid myself of
boresT' said woman of the world.
Nothing is easier. When / want to
send man away. talk to him about
myself; when 1 want him to stay in
definitely, talk about himself"
"And what are you looking forY'
IN In ,kf ~
"For my character" replied the man
in Jest. "Then," said Pat. 'you may as
well stop looking; you'll never find 30
small thing with SO dim light"
The manufacture of gold watch.
eases is an lmpol tant and growing in
dustry at Providence. R. l., and The
Journal says that ten thousand cases
may be made there this year, and that
the demand is really ahead of the
supply.
Ican't find place in the city to suit
me-" despairingly remarked a house
hunting lady TO her husband. .Why
SO, my dear?' "Why, because-be-
cause-well, if you must know. I can't
find mantel long enough for the
crewel lambrequin made last win.
| ter"
The strawberry crop of the Mary.
land peninsula has been twice cut off
by the frost this season, and it is
thought the crop will not b ) abundant.
yet the late seasOnable weather NAV
increase the blossoms and render the
crop better than has been expected BY
strawberry growers. Berries will be
late coming to market.
A woman of Hibernian descent an
tered one of our large dry-goods stores.
and stepping up to salesman inquired,
*Whaur's the pulley?' .The pulley.
madam p repeated the puzzled clerk.
why, yis. mon, the pully that pulls
you up stairs" she explained. She
was smilingly directed to the elevator.
A bachelor and spinster, who had
been scho0l-mateS In youth. and wara