Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-07-01
Artc,mas Wards Fun.
From the Baltimore Day.

From the Baltimore Day.
The late Artemas Ward Charles F. Browne)
knew what he was about when he courted the
company of actors and journalists SO assiou-
ously. He took from them much mere than he
gave, good companion as he was and it was the
actors who taught him to give expression to
his Irresistible flow of spirits in succession OF
practical jokes of harmless sort. yet comical
beyond measure by their very oddity and unex-
pcctedHess. Come in here come in here!i
said he one day in Boston to the companion
walking with him. Come i'm here: we will have
some fun" 1t was n Boston pc-bakery which
.lcY catered "A place where pies were
'rec!alty--where pies and nothing but pies were
sold, wholesale and retail, all the ive-long day
Browne approached the counter. behind which
che proprietor of the establishment was standing
aud asked. in his bland. insinuating voice
Have you any pies 2" ''Pies!' replied the
astounded proprietor. Eyes. pies" ''I'cs.. ~
repeated the man. still more dunbfounded. ..Ot
coursc-p:cs, Have you any-pics.' pies -
GaSped the shopman once more. gazing at
Browne as ii he thought him an escaped lunatic.
ION. well, if you haven't got any pies. I'll
inquire somewhere else; come, Jack u and he
marched his fricad out OF the shop again before
the salesman could recover his wits.
ARENAS delighted to flip the sedate re-
spectabity of Boston, while loving the place
sincerely. One day, in the early afternoon. hay
ing IA lecture to deliver that evening, some of
HIS iFlcuuS concluded t!aC he would not he able
to talk SO well at night if he kept on talking in
frOat of the bar at the Parker house. They ac-
cordngly insisted on an immediate adjourn
ment, and ARENAS, suspecting the game. de-
termined to revenge himself. He locked arms
with two gentlemen very well known, indeed,
In the city-one manager of the leading the
alter, the other public officer, high in the con-
hdencc and books of the commonwealth and
walked off with them along the city's most
crowded and fashionable thOrOughfare. Acting
hn Il, u
his companions. and making his voice conspcu-
ously loud. ARENAS began - Gentlemen. you
are probably aware that the noble red man. the
incompatible savage of our plains. forests and
mountain Businesses, whom l have studied
closely in his native wids, has various modes
of expressing the emotions which swell his
generous BOSOM and of giving voice to the
ceremonial traditions inherited from an immem-
orial ancestry. His cries and his dances are
equally peculiar, and he has particular sort of
WhOop for each particular occasion. The scalp
dance the war dance. the beer dance, the dance
OF skulls each has its appropriate hallOo. and
so has the feast of the moon. the harvest feast
and so forth. But no verbal description gen
tiemcn. can give you an idea of these vigorous
cries. They must be heard to be appreciated;
and to him who has never heard them they are
startling as the revelations of a lifetime. In
Illustration of what | have said, gentlemen.
will now proceed to give you an imitation Of the
yell OF the noble savage as. tomahawk in hand.
he springs eXultant from his ambush upon the
aStOunded foe"
ThereupOn Browne executed a startling and
tremendous war-whOop, which made people
turn for blocks around and drew upon him the
attention of thousands.
Il will now give YOU" said ARENAS, after
re@alning his breath. "a faint imitation of the
warriors cry. as he returns to his wgwam, the
scalp OF his enemy dangling i'll CORY ghastliness
at his belt
Another war-whoop and thus the scamp kept
up his game for a mile or So until his friends
got him at last to his hotel