The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-04-19
THE RIVER PRESS.
The Old Man was not Esehettc,

.sWhy, you superlative PAL she ex-
claimed, 81 am utterly glad to see you"
The old gentleman was somewhat unnerved
by the greeting, but he recognized the seal
skin in his grip as the Identical piece of
property he had paid for with his bay mare,
and he sort of squat it up in his arms and
planted a kiss where it would the most good,
with q report that sounded above the noise
of the depot. In a brief space of time the
trunk and its attendant baggage were loaded
into the wagon, which was soon humping
over the bubbles toward home.
"Pa, dear" said the young miss, survey
ing the team with a critical eye, s'do you
consider this quite excessively beyond?"
"Hey p returned the old man with a puz-
zled air. 'Quite excessively beyond what.
Beyond Warren? [ consider it about ten
miles beyond Warren, counting from the
Bath way, i that's what you mean"
"Oh, no, papa, you don't understand me"
the daughter explained: Il mean this horse
and wagon. Do you think they are soulful?
Do you think they could be studied apart in
the light of a symphony, Or even a simple
poem, and appear as intensely utter to one
on returning home as one could express p
The old mar twisted uneasily in his seat
and muttered something about he believed it
used to be used for an express wagon before
he bought it to deliver pork in, but the con-
versation appeared to be travelling in such a
lonesome direction that he fetched the horse
a %resounding crack on the rutunda, and the
severe jolting over the frozen ground pre-
vented further remarks.
"Oh, there is that lovely and consummate
MAJ" screamed the returned collegiatess, as
they drove up to the door, and presently she
was lost in the embrace of a motherlY
woman in spectacles.
"Well, Maria," said the old man at the
supper-table, as he nipped a piece of butter
off the lump with his own knife, San how'd
you like your SCHOOL,"
"Well, there, pa, now you are show-I
mean | consider it far too beyond" replied
the daughter. cit is unquenchably ineffable.
The girls are 80 sumptuously stunning-I
mean grand, so exQuisit, so intense. And
then the parties, the balls, the rides oh, the
past weeks have been one sublime harmony"
81 s'pose SO, l s'pose so' nervously assent
ed the old man as he reached for his third
cup half full. "But how about your books
-readin', writin', grammar, rule O three
how about them ?"
Spa, don't" exclaimed the daughter re-
proachfully; 1.-THE rule of three! grammar!
It is French, and music, and painting and
the divine in art that has made my school
life the bos-I mean that have rendered it
one unbroken flow of rbymthmic bliss-the
incomparably and exquisitly all but"
The grocery man and his wife looked
hopelessly at each other across the table.
After a lonesome pause the old lady said:
'sHow do you like the biscuit, Mary ?"
"They are too utter for anything" gushed
the accomplished young lady, and this plum
preserve is simply a poem in ITSELF"
The old man abruptly rose from the table
and went out of the room, rubbing his head
in a dazed and benumbed manner and the
m~ass-convention was dissolved. That night
he and his wife sat alone by the stove until a
late hour, and at the breakfast table the next
morning he raped smartly on the table
with the handle of his knife, and remarked:
"Maria, me an your mother have been talk
ing the thing over, an we've come to the
conclusion that this boardin' school business
is too utterly all but too much nonsense.
Ne an her consider that we haven't lived
sixty odd consummate years for the purpose
Of raising a curiosity, az there's going to be
a stop put to this unq 1enchable f%oolishness.
Now, after you've finished eating that poem
of fried sausage an that symphony of twist
ed doughnut, you take and dust upstairs in
less than two seconds and peel off that fancy
gown an put on a callliker, an then come
down here and help your mother wash dishes.
I want it distinctly understood that there amt
going to be no more rhymthmic foolishness
in this house SO longs your superlative pa
an your lovely and consummate mas run
ming the ranch. You hear me, Maria 2
Maria was listening.
Hanlsn had things all his W way in his
race with Boyd. Hereafter whoever backs
any one of the oarsmen known at present to