Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-25
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Close relations are not necessarily
stingy ones.
Farmers report the hens as becoming
very set in their ways
"Come, gentle spring." says the bur.
glar, as he picks the lock.
Inquirer-where is the best place 10
learn to sing2 The desert.
Cattle earn their daily food in the
summer by the sweat of their browse
Why is it that we hear so much about
the Cochin China but nothing about the
horse?
People at the mint arc working
overtime" And yet we SEQ very little
of their work
A lawyer is about the only man that
ever made anything by opposing a
woman's will.
docs poultry pay ?" asked stran &c
of city dealer. "Of course" wal
the reply, "even the little chickens
shell out"
Yes said q lady, complacently. "T
expect Well get rich now. My hus-
band has Just been appointed one oI
the receivers OF an embarrassed savings
bank"
81 tell you, gen slemen, that dog oi
mine is an intelligent critter." "Pos-
sibly," muttered Fogg; "but you
wouldn't think it, judging from the
company he keeps"
English doctors say that plants In
sleeping rooms are unhealthy. French
doctors say they produce sweet slum.
bers. American doctors don't say any
thing about ii, but charge it in the bill.
A New York paper has discovered
that "San Francisco has q six-leggod
COW. 1t has been attired in knee
breeches ont OF compliment TO Oscar
Wilde" That COW truly has two, two
two limbs.
Green, let me introduce you TO my
friend Brown" Green-"How are you,
BrownY Brown-"Tt's my color, aud
can't help it How are you, Green p
Green didn's like the joke. evidently,
for he changed color.
"I don't care SO much about tho loss
Nf nv thanh au m thu-.l ~ III Al.
grocer, whose horse had amputated the
member, g. but "A a source Of profit l
shall miss it. I've measured that thumb
in the shape of beans, meal and molas-
sas nigh onto n thousand times Well,
my wife can't afford anew parlor carpet
this SPRING"
A little child gave expression to an
old story in the following manner: II
seems that the littlo fellow had dis
covered bee crawling upon his hand
Finally the bee stopped for Q moment,
and, after remaining stationary fer n
instant, stang the little fellow. When
the cry of pain was over, the little
child said to his mamma that he didn't
care for the bees walking about on him,
bu. he didnt like his sitting down on
him.
China dogs are tho latest craze, and
nov in milady's bric-a-brac room will
be found large eand curious assortment
from the smallest. The china dog has
advantages over the live article not 10
be disregarded. 1t does not have TO
be fed, and instead OF being fastened TO
q string, where il Is running in every
direction but the right one,i may be
suspended from the belt by chain and
so relieve the .torturings of it being
lost. Then they need no muzzles, and
they will probably not be taxed.
What do you think OF . strong
government r inquired y New Haven
man of his neighbours they both leaned
against the fence. smoking their even
ing cigars. "I think" said The
ncighbor, looking cautiously eFound,
that women are best calculated TO
administer sueh . government. And
harp. shrilI voice from behind the
alinds called out: "5AmueI james
jenkins. what are you thinking Of, talk
ing tile whole night awayf It's time
honest folks were abod." "I agree
with you," vas the remark Of tbs
original speaker. and they both aid
nto their respective gates with becom'
n "A eskueas.