davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10
BgAD aRAxssR AND xRUz.n
Bend aletter stamp to RADWAY a CO., No. 50
Warren, Cor. Church St., New York. 60 Infor-
NATION worth thousands win be sent you.
no rEE FuzLxc.

There can be no better guarantee Of the value o
DR. RadwaY's old established r. L. e. Remedie
than the base and worthless imis atoms of them a
here are False Resolvents, Reliefs and Pills 3
ure az d ask for Railways and sec that the am
ADwATn lie on whet you buy
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10
A GRATEFUL RECOGNITION.
FALSE AND TRUE.

Va extract from Lr. Railways ssTreatise on Dis
ease and Its Care," as follows:
o. LIST OF DISEASES CURED BY
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10
HEALTH IS WEALTH
Sarsaparilliaa Reselvent.

Pure blood makes sound nesh, strong bone and
clear skin. IL you wonld have your flesh hrn.
your bones sound, without carries, and your com
AZ =
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

DOR SALE-Or will trade for small farm or good
Il farming land stock of Staple Goods that sells
readily and pays good profit. Address Lock Box
No, 3J7
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10
DR.. Railways
REGULATING PILLS,

Perfect Purgatives, Soothing Aperients, Act
Without Pain, always Reliable and Nat
ural in their Operation.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

The Sheriff is besieged with persons who
desire to see the convicted prisoner They
admit that their visit is prompted solely
by curiosity, and as rule they fail to ex-
anime the interior of the Jail. A few days
since resident of this county visited the
Sheriff and sought to obtain admission to
the jail, for the purpose of seeing He'll
wagon. He was informed that Hellwagon
was not enjoying the best Of health, and
had requested that no visitors be admitted
to see him
The man informed the Sheriff that he
and Heilwagon were old friends, and had
known one another for over twenty years
This failed to induce the Sheriff to admit
him. The visitor then said that he would
like to take the contract for hanging the
prisoner on the day of the execution, and
Volunteered his service, provided he should
receive an even one hundred dollars He
came down In price before leaving, how
ever, and finally offered to perform the
hanging for nominal sum, as he thought
that friendship would enable him to do the
Job up in most artistic STYLE
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

TRAVELLER.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

DOR SALE.-Saloon and Hotel; with fixtures and
IL lease of building in good condition. Inquire Of
l.. HIBBARD,
No. lis w. Front St, Davenport Is
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

LSOR SALE-Lot, So feet front and 346 feet deep.
l. and dwelling house containing eight rooms, two
pantries and three closets good cellar and two
large cisterns. The house is well built is in good
repair and heated with furnace: also wash house
barn. hen house and other out-buildinRs, and good
well with force pump Between forty and fifty
bearing grape vines, fifteen cherry trees aud plenty
of other small fruit Located in a splendid neigh
borhood. Apply to Sturgeon s. Olsen, Attorneys
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10
FOR SALE.

FOR sALE.-Two good well paying tenement
large lot. fruit and sfrubbery, &c. vacant lot
on 3rd Avenue, and one vacant lot in Thompson &
Wells addition. For particulars apply to Sturgeon
u Olsen.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

EOR SALE.-Some desirable property on the buf
for sale cheap fine lots in the city on long time;
nice house and lot for $780, nice residence for bust
ness man, cheap. Apply to Geo. w. D. Harris, Of
fee under Harper House.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-10

DOR SALE.-Wfn exchange for city property
l. farm in Rock Island county and good land In Iowa
and Kansas. Apply to Geo. W. ID. Harris, office uu
der Harper House.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
Francis JOseph's Long Title.

The following is the official title of the
emperor of Austria, ETC., taken from the
convocation of the diets of Bohemia,
Austria, ETC., of date August 27, 1882:
Francis Joseph l., by the grace of God
emperor of Austria, king of Hungary and
Bohemia, king of Dalmatia, Croatia, Sal
vonia, Gallicia, Lodomeria and Illyria,
king of Jerusalem, ETC.. archduke of
Austria; grand duke of Tuscany and Cra-
COW; duke of Lorraine, Salzburg, Styria,
Carinthia, Carniola, and the Bukovina;
grand prince of Pennsylvania; margrave
of Moravia; duke of Silesia, Upper and
Lower, of Modena, Parma, Piacenza and
Guastalla, of Auschwitz and Gator, of
Teschen, Fruili, Ragusa, and lara; count
prince of Hapsburg and Tyrol, of Ky
burg. Gorizsa and Gradisca; prince of
Trent and Botzen; margrave of Lusatia,
Upper and Lower, and in Istria; count of
Hohenembs, Feldkirch, Bregenz, Sonnen-
burg, etc. lord of Trieste, of Cattaro and
of the march of the Wends; grand vol
vode of the voivodate of Servia, etc.
There are four "etc." and soon may be
added Bosnia, Herzegovina, and Novi-
Bazaar. One cannot say of this lions lair
nulla vestigia retrorsu'n, for though
Parma and Modena, Friuli, Piacenza
and Lorraine have escaped apparently
unknown, Lombardy and Venice are
recognized defections, being expurgated
from the mosaic.-PaN Mall Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
RaiIrOading In the West.

Now and then a chronic grumbler from
the Eastern States finds himself starring
as tourist in the West, and learns that
the purchasing power of growls isnot UNI
limited in that section.
"Where do we take dinner?" quorulous-
ly demanded such character of con-
ductor on the Northern Pacific Railroad,
travelling from Fargo to Bismarck.
"At Jamestown" courteously replied
the conductor.
"Get there sat midnight, | suppose"
grunted the passenger.
"At 1929" answered the conductor.
Cant you stop somewhere and let me
get a crackerW
"Not very well, sir. There are no OPP
portunites between here and jim
town."
Finding himself treated in such gen
tlemanly manner, the tourist turned
loose and cursed the road from st. Paul
to Glendine Greek, and after finishing his
dinner he took in the Duluth branch and
wound up with the officers and trainmen,
cOnsigning the whole business TO bitter
ness and wrath eternal. The conductor
made every effort to pacify him, Iut his
eXortions only stimulated the volume OF
abuse until the train stopped at Bis
marck.
"Can ! see you q moment" asked the
conductor, taking the tourist by the
elbow and leading him to the
quadrangle back of the Sheridan
House. " You don't seem to under
stand this railroad system. Now here's
Duluth" and he spanged the tourist one
in the eye. "And here's st. PAUL"
planting his fist with terrible force into
tie other optic. "The two lines meet
here at Brainerd" which he mapped cut
on the bridge of the passengers nose.
"ihcn tic tiuak line runs along 10 Jim
t.wa, where you get your dinner and
.e ~ lat him terrific one on the
!. nth. "From there to Bismarck is only
q short run" planting a crusher on the
victims chin, "and there you are!' land
ing him in puddle, doubled vi kc Il
4 mach ache, and bowling for mercy.
you will notice that the vigilant oiii-
cils are carefully scanning all points of
TIC road!" and he marched up and down
his PROSTATE student, who was now yell
ing for help.
whats the matter, Jim?' inquired a
Trend who had been attracted by the
controversy.
Showing bloke the advantage Of our
railroads over the Eastern outfit" replied
the conductor. "They never explain
things where he lives, and Pm fixing it
for him so he won't feel like grumbling
next time he travels over our line. Wait
al | point out the difference between
the school sections and the railroad
grant,"
But the tourist had eeled out Of the pud-
die and gained the Office of the hotel, to
the disgust of the conductor aud his
friend, who were prepared to display all
the attractions of the country, rather
than see stranger depart dissatisfied.
If man wants to be abusive in that
part of the Republic, he wants to write
out his views and mail 'em to his family.
Careless expressions are very apt to
pan disagreeable explanations Brooklyn
Edgte.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
First Cousins TO Their Grandmother.

Relationships, OF course, figure largely
i'm novels. In the old romances il may
almost be said that every body turned out
in the end to be everybody clse's grand
mother! One would suppose that every
kind Of discovered relationship had been
already utilized to form a striking Incl
dent in novels. And yet we venture to
say that the following motion has
hitherto been overlooked by inventors of
plots, to whom we freely offer it.
Imagine the bride and bridegroom.
after innumerable trials and obstacles of
every kind, to be at last at the altar and
the marriage service begun. The Off
ciating bishop 1--WE will suppose the con.
tracing parties to be OF such noble birth
that 1t takes Bishop to unite them)
asks whether any one can allege any inn
pediment now, ''or else forever hold his
peace" To the dsmay of the wedding
party, an old woman (the evil genius or
fairy not invited to the christening)
comes forward and explains what she
alone has known-the mystery in which
the birth of the brides mother, long
since dead, was involved. Documents
are produced which prove, to the
satisfaction (or rather dissatisfac-
tion) of all present, that the
BRIDES maternal grandmother was
the bridegroom's half-sister, nearly fifty
years older than himself; ''and, there.
FORE" concludes the malicious old bel
dame, "as a man cannot marry his niece.
the marriage is unlawful!' Great sem
sation, of course, ensues; but the Bish-
OPP, who is well up in the Table of Kin
dred, etc., quietly remarks "a man
may not marry his niece, but he may
marry his great-niece," and accordingly
proceeds with the service, to the discom-
future OF the ancient bag and the joy of
everybody else.
Such marriage, indeed, would be
quite lawful, for the relationship, it will
be observed, is one of four degrees, and,
accordingly, it is not one of the "forbid-
den degrees" Should such q marriage
be followed by progeny, we should have
the curious result that children would
have their own mother for ''Wclsh
niece" and would be first cousins TO
their grandmother, and first cousins
twice removed to themselves.
A marriage in high life actually took
place, few years ago, in which the
bridegroom was first cousin twice re-
moved to the bride. Her ladyship, there
fore, became daughter-in-law to her own
Welsh nephew; and when son and
heir appeared upon the scene, he figured
as second cousin to one grandfather and
as great-great-great nephew to the other,
who was less than sixty years Of age
London SOctetU.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
The SnOb Family.

Mr.. and Mrs. Snob and little Snob must
have fresh air and recreation out of town.
1t Is sometimes their pleasure TO show
their fine clothes and diamonds at a
costly hotel. But there are times when
Mr.. Snob wants to economize. He re-
fleets that il he goes with his family to a
lesser boarding house there is no law
preventing them from sitting on the
portico of the big hotel airing their style
and picking their teeth as if they regu
larly paid their bill to the diamond
mounted hotel clerk. Topick their teeth
in public is an uncouth and ungentle-
manly trick, but Snob does it in sight of
all men, and is deeply conscious of his
Importance while he does so. AS he
walks the halls of the popular hotel or
lounges in its Office or bar room, he con-
graduates himself that he is putting on
considerable style at small expense;
When Mr.. Snob ming with his fell
low-boarders ut the less pretentious hos
telry he carries with him the air of one
who belongs at a much more stylish
place. He looks down on the rest of the
company as of very little account. 1t is
for him and his party that the house is
managed and for their comfort and en-
joyment that the boats, the croquet sets,
the best chairs and the choicest corners
of the porticoes are created. Ills family
assert theirsuperiority over the others by
gathering themselves into a little group
and refusing to associate with anybody
else. From behind the barricadc of their
own self-importance they shoot out the
envenomed tongue criticism against the
raiment, the habits and the genealogy of
those whom they dislike. At table they
whisper severe remarks about others
and show by the upturned nose, the
winking eye or the pouting lip that they
are taking note of the sayings and doings
of those who, instead of being made like
themselves, or porcelain are made of or
binary clay.
When Snob and his family 90 home
there is sense of relief at the boarding
house. The rest of the boarders CRATE
fully realize that they are no longer the
subjects of inspection or the victims of
unfavorable criticism. They can wear
what they please, without being annoyed
by having it intimated that the goods
with which Mr. Snob has provided his
IaInlly arc LHOre COStlF VI Ill DcttcT SlJle'
They can eat their meals in peace, with
out worrying over the probability that
the Snobs will take away their appetites
by saying or doing something unpleas-
ant. The servants are glad, for the
Snobs are difficult people to wait on,
and are always complaining about some
thing or other Yet the family will al
ways be more or less present at summer
resorts. Their presence must be en-
dured, like that of the mosquitoes. -
Philadelphia Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06

impressions gave character to her whole
life. Hers was the religion taught by
the Savior of man. She was cheerful.
mild, benevolent, serious, humane, in
tent on self-improvement and the inn
provement of those who looked to her for
precept and example. She was n firm
believer in the faith inculcated by the
Church in which she was bred, but her
soft and gentle temper was incapable of
adopting the gloomy and austere dogmas
which some of its professors have sought
TO ingraft on it.
II have lost her, and with her have
lost the solace of my life. Yet she re-
mains still the companion of my retired
hours, still occupies my inmost bosom.
When alone and unemployed, my mind
increasingly recurs to her.
"More than thousand times since the
25th of December, 1881. have repeated
TO myself the beautiful lines written by
Burgoyne under similar aillction, sub
stituting Mary for Anna
'"Encompasscd in an angels frame
An angels virtues lay:
How soon did Heaven assert its claim,
And take its own awayl
'"My Mary's worth. my Mary's charms,
Can never more return.
What now shall MI these widowed armss
All mel my Mary's urn
All mel ali mel my Mary's urn
-Harper'S Magazine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
The Superiority OF Cards.

The New York Times thinks that
there is IL certain kind of society cere-
mony of printed character which has
escaped Herbert Spencer's keen analysis.
There is really no necessity for it save
that which arises from the greed of the
stationer. The modern purveyor of ele-
gantly painted papers might in some re-
spects be classed with the deservedly
abused plumber. Perhaps there is some
necessity for the latter, whereas there is
very little for the former. The era of
the deliriously combined monographs
having passed away for the time being,
very probably because no one could
understand them, note-paper is now be-
ing ornamented in the most curious way.
The printed cards necessary for we'd
ding Of to-day are of the most compli-
Gated character. Sometimes there are as
many as six different pieces of pasteboard,
each one in its separate envelop, all
enclosed in big one. The sorting out
of this mass of cards shows, first, the
names of the father and mother of the
bride; then that of the parents of the
groom. Then comes the brides card
separate as Miss, and thatof the groom
Next the invitation to the marriage and
another card stating when Mr. and Mrs.
ARE to be at home. The last station
cry load which breaks the camel's back
is card of the clergyman who is to marry
the people. We are pleased to state,
however, that an effort made this spring
to add the cards of the bridesmaids with
those of the groom's best friends, signally
failed.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. these events bring
money to the stationer, when a death
takes place he has heretofore shown no
desire to divide with the undertaken
There is, however, most absurd custom,
English of its kind, which might stand a
chance of transportation into New York.
In England to-day when man or woman
dies, those attending the funeral receive,
after a few days, card from the family
of the deceased which reads as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. return thanks for
kind sympathy and coincidence" This
is, indeed, the perfection fsnobbishness.
Once it is recorded that person in New
York, having recovered from an illness,
had his cards sent round to all inquiring
friends thanking them for their atten-
tiOn
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
GHANCERY SALE.

In pursuance aud by virtue of final decree of
the Circuit Court for the county of Alpena, made
and entered on the Goth day Of October, 1882,
in a cause wherein Henry Tigchon is complainant,
and Jason IL. Young, and James III. Cinclair and
John McIenen are defendants.
Notice Is hereby given that will sell at public
auction or yendue, 10 the highest bidder, az ten
o'clock in the forenoon of the
21st day of December, A. ID. Iss2,
At the front door of Johnsons brick block, ON
Water street, in the city of Alpena, in Alpena
county, Michigan, THAT being the building in which
the Circuit Court for said County is held, all the
right title and interest of said defendants, and
each of them in and 10 that certain piece parcel
of land situate in the City of Alpena, county OF
Alpena, and State of Michigan, and described as
/ follows, to-wit; Lot number ten t10l, in Block
eleven IN, according TO the recorded plat of the
village, now dty, OF Alpona county OF Alpena and
State Of Michigan.
Dated, Alpena, November 9TH 1882
JAMES A. B0GGS,
j. ID. TURNBULL, Circuit Court Commissioner.
Sol'r for Complainant 5SSwG
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
Society Note.

A GOODNESS has arisen between Kosius-
CO Murphy and Mrs. Hufnagel, ono of
the most fashionable ladies of Austin.
There was lawn party at the Hufnagel
mansion. Mrs. Hufnagcl showed Mr..
Murphy over the grounds, and asked
him what he thought of their arrange
ment.
81 am delighted madam" was there
ply. wherever l look / see the foot
prints Of your genius"
As Mrs. Hufnagel has a foot almost rs
big as wheelbarrow, she supposed
there was something personal in the re-
mark. She did not hint exactly that she
was not glad to have him stay to supper,
but she opened the gate, and pointed into
the street, and Murphy, who is very sem
sitive, strolled away. Teas SJlings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
ALPENA WEEKLY ARGUS.
MISCELLANEOUS.
CONTRARY MEN.

Some men do write when they do wrong,
And some do live who dye;
Ard some are short" whom thcy are long
And stand when they do lie.
A man is surly when he's late;
Is round when he Is square;
He die early and dilate,
And may be foul when "fair."
He may he fast when he is slow,
And "loose" when he is tight"
And "hlgh' whom he Is very low,
And heavy when hos slight"
He may be wet when he is dry"
He may be ''grent" when small;
May purchase when he won't go by;
Have naught when he has awl.
He may bc sick when he Is "swell,"
And hot when he is scold;
He's skilled so he on earth may dwell,
And when he's young hos sold.
-NOfriStO,Dn Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06

According to an old steamship cap
tain, ocean steamships, like animals, lose
their speed after few years. An eight,
year old boat will seldom give the speed
She had at two years, and a ship going
home to England will steam faster than
going to America. Some say this comes
from the British fireman, who on his way
home forces the fires more than he does
coming out, when speed is no object to
him.. Y. Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06

The sealskin clothes worn by En-.
gineer Melville during his terrible ex-
periences in the Arctic regions arc objects
Of much interest at the Navy Depart
ment. Among the relics is brilliantly
colored foxskin cap belonging to Lieuten-
ant Berry, which was presented to him
by an Esquimau damsel. She confiscated
his old cap because it was not pretty, and
gave him one she had made herself in re-
uyn.-KashinQt0n Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06
TO CONSUMPTIVES.

The advertiser having been permanently cured
that dread disease consumption, by simple RENEE
dy is anxious 10 make known TO his ellowsuiierers
the of To all who desire IL, he Will send
a copy of the prescription used, free of charge,l
with the directions for preparing and using the same,
which they will find a sure cure for coughs and
colds, consumption, asthma, bronchitis, &c.
Parties wishing the prescription, will please adj
dress, Rev. II. A. WILSON, 1914 Penn. ST., Will
liamsburgh, N. Y. 5i9y1
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-06

Robert Tawney, colored boy, al
legged to have been born deaf and dumb,
recently attended a camp-meeting at
Goldsboro, N. G. He stepped forward
among the mourners aud in distinct
voice announced his conversion, saying
that his voice and hearing had come to
him with spiritual grace. Y. Sun
Huntsville gazette., 1882-10-21
Agate Polishing.

| sOberstein, beautiful little town
about two and a half hours distant by
rail from Kreuznach, is, with its COM
panion village of Idar close by, the
center of peculiar and quite important
industry, the grinding and polishing of
agates. These stones are found here in
great ABUNDANCE, and are also brought
from South America to be cut. For
centuries past the inhabitants of these
two little towns have been engaged in
this one employment. There are at least
fifty polishing mills on the banks of the
picturesque river that runs through both
villages, and she setting of the agates in
silver and other metals furnishes occu-
patton to nearly one hundred families.
In the shops and Gewerbehalle are in
Vulnerable beautiful specimens of
agates, cut and uncut, mounted and un-
mounted. The polishing mills are
small, roughly built wooden houses, one
story high, directly over the river, and
the great grindstones, worked by water
power, come up through the floor of the
hovel, for it is nothing better There
are five or six workmen in each mill
who are obliged to lie down fat on their
stomachs, holding the agates in their
hands against the rapidly revolving
grindstone. Their faces are close to it,
they must not stir nor turn to the right
nor the left, and there they lie the day
long, toiling for the merest pittance.-
PhSk1delphl0 Bulletin.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-10-21
The Area of Modern States.

The largest State in the civilized
world is Texas, which boasts an area of
274, 1856 square miles; the smallest is
the little State of Monaco in Europe,
which has only an area of six square
miles. The Austrian Empire contains
/ 240,94 square miles; the German En-
pire, 212,091; France, 204,091; Spain,
177.7o1; Sweden, 16S,042; California,
157,SO1; Dakota, 150,932; Territory of
Montana, 143,776; Norway, 122,290; !;
New Mexico, 121, POI; Great Britain and
Ireland, 12O,S79; Italy, 1l4,296; Ari-
zona, 1896; Nevada, 112,09O; Colo
rado, 104, 800; Territory of Wyoming,
97,SS3; Oregon, 1924; Territory of
Idaho, sc ,294; Territory of Utah, S4,-
476; Minnesota, 1851; Kansas, 90,-
S91; Nebraska, 1895; Territory of
Washington, 69,994; Indian Territory,
68,991; Missouri, 65,350; Turkey in
Europe, 62,02S; then come a number of
other American States, after which are
Roumania, 5,642; Bosnia and Herze-
govina, %, 1875; Bulgaria, "a, $50; Servia,
20,850; Netherlands, 20,527; Greece,
1894; Switzerland, 1926; Denmark,
IA, ,553; Eastern Roumelia, 1880; Bel
GUM, 1928; and Montenegro, 1,770.-
N. Y. Post