Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-05-03

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The secretary of the national COM
mittee must in general be a master OF
irresponsibility--that is to say, he must
cover up his tracks like a cat after
making them like an elephant. He
must be large and loud on the outside,
and pooh-pooh the enemy, and lie and
rage, and issue bulletins before the bat
tie, saying: I'VE have them by the
hair" and then after the battle isY over
he must destroy his dispatches, exactly
balance his financial accounts, look de-
mure and innocent, and say, "My men,
DRY has failed from the arduous work I
did in the campaign, and forget
whether we bought any body or not"
When it. seemed the Republican
party was going to pass out of power in
1876, and Mr.. Tilden was to control
the country and bring back the lost
sheep, a number of wild-eyed individ-
uals seized an empty carpet-sack and
another mans umbrella, and went off
to the southern States to redeem, res
cue and resurrect freedom in that quar-
ter. | will not mention the valiant
democrats who were always seen about
the managing caucus on that, as on all
kindred performances but it is enough
to say that our Chandler went right to
the front, faced all the alligators in
Florida, irritated every Johnny Rebel
in the State, and, no doubt, did his
work frst-rate, for Florida was counted
for Hayes, and the Sage of Grammercy
park, instead Of experimenting the
portraits of the White House, had to
build little private palace for himself
on Grammercy park, and hang his old
engravings up there, like James ii,
taking refuge at st. German.
Mr.. Chambers expectations were
fair to middling for his Florida work,
but President Hayes did not consider
them respectfully. Hayes had an en-
tirely social education, derived in the
city Of Cincinnati to which he went as
the nephew of his Uncle Sardius, pos
sesscd Of one extra broadcloth walking
coat and several pair of kid gloves, and
the parting advice from his uncle to
call only upon the most respectable
people, and to keep adding of it. Strict
attention to that command made Mr..
Hayes president. He never went
among the boys or into the caucuses,
but put on the aforesaid kids and
smoothed down the extra coat, and
kept small visiting list Of the superior
people-the Andersons, Pendletons,
Steinbergers, Groesbecks, &c. There
fore when two or three big politicians
would fall out about n nomination, it
would be said: There's Mr.. Hayes.
He calls on the Groesbecks. Let us
put him up" Thus the pair of kid
gloves and the extra coat swept Hayes
into the Office of City Solicitor, Con
gresham, Governor three times, and
finally President. The man who does
not keep an extra pair of kid gloves
and special walking coat after this
shall have no further warning.
OF course, Mr.. Hayes never having
met Mr.. Chandler at any of these grand
families, had no use for him as minister
to Italy, solicitor general, or anything
else. He declined to award Mr.. Chand.
Ter, who forthwith rushed into the arms
of Roscoe Conkling-like Armand
Duval" into the arms of his father after
Camille" had left him that cruel note.
The future historian ofour country can
choose no greater subject for his can
vass than Chandler being reconciled to
Conkling through the man with the
extra coat and the available pair of
kid gloves. Responsibility had accom-
plished one wonder. 1t had plucked
the right bower of James G.. Blaine
from his side, and adding it to the hand
of Roscoe Conkling. Conkling had in
the meantime mounted the tripod-or,
rather, put Tommy Plat there, and
had Hayes denounced as sham, the
mere stifening Of an extra coat, and
pair of kids, and called on the political
class TO rally to his toscin. Chandler,
foremost, as usual, in the procession,
exclaimed, 81 am the political class"
and wept on Conkling's bosom. 1t is
always the misfortune of Mr.. Blaine to
be nursing litter of promising young
terriers, who no sooner get on their feet
than they desert to the other dog.
In 1880, at the Chicago convention,
Chandler, Joe Chaffee and Stephen
Elkins were the three who broke the
800 up, and put George Hoar in the
chair to preside over the nomination of
neither Grant or Blaine, nor yet Of
Sherman, but of the poor, unbefriended
Garfield, who had been cultivating the
people instead of his fellow-politicians
all those years. Again Chandler put in