South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-01-13

HE LOST BIZ Ira 6riswold street
lawyer was looking out or his window
yesterday when he recognized famil.
lar figure aud made hurried preparations
to vacate his room. leaving on the desk
q card bearing the legend:
Como over to circuit oourt-be back
in two hours
He was ecarcely out OF eight whom
the individual seen from the window en-.
tered the room. read the card. and at
once planted himself in chair with the
look OF man who meant TO sit right
there for twice two hours il necessary.
But 1t wasn't necessary. He left the
room In about half an hour. and the
owner hurried back to find note read
ing:
Dear Sir--I came up this morning to
borrow five dollars of you TO help nae
out On my board. You were not in. but
one Of your clients has called and left
ten dollars. have receipted for the
money in your name, and will consider
it as loan until see you again. Ia
Ia
The lawyer wasn't over ten seconds
realizing that he could have saved five
dollars by staying there and lending as
much, and he wasn't OF any good the
rest of the day.-Free Press.
In the Editors Drawer Of 'Hsrpcr's
Monthly for January We find the fol.
lowing' During the long drought of
tho last summer the Ohio River became
so low Chat all the boats built for that
river had to tie up, and the MOUNTAIN
Boy was taken from the Big Sandy
and put on the Portsmouth and Cincin.
natl route. 1t was important for Gen'l
John Echols to reach Maysville from
Ashland by certain hour, and he went
by land to Portsmouth, reaching there
before sunrise. and found, to his great
disgust. that the MOUNTAIN Boy had
left the wharf at three o'clock in the
morning. Somewhat impatiently, he
asked Of the wharf master why the boat
left at such an unreasonable hour, and
received the satisfactory reply, 'Gener-
al, he wanted to get the advantage of
the dew
The Leeds Mercury tells how the
late Mr.. Poole, the eminent tailor, was
walking on the pier at Brighton one
morning, when he was accosted by a
certain noble lord who honored him
with his patronage. Good morning
Mr.. Poole said the peer. Good morn.
ing, my lord replied the tailor, who
then passed on. Stay, Mr. Poole; l
wanted TO show you this coat,' cried the
aristocrat. 1T doesn't ft me at ALL
Mr.. Poole was a gentleman OF ready
wit. He stopped, looked carefully at
the coat, then, drawing piece of chalk
from his pocket, said, your lordship
is right; the coat wants to be taken in
here, and let out hero, and shortened
here, and just little bit heightened
here;' and at each here he made q
heavy chalk mark. Now. my lord he
continued, as he saw that crowd of
wondering idlers had gathered round
them, IF you will just take that coat up
to London. marked as it is, my manager
will see that it is altered to your salts
faction His lordship did not again
commit the Importance Of giving Mr..
Poole instructions on the pior at Brigh.
ton.
The Countess Of WAS summoned
as witness in French court. Your
age, madamer asked the Judge. My
age 2 said tho Countess; well, L
really have..such q miserable memory
But certainly you must know when you
were born No, indeed, Judge, on my
faith l don't. 1 was 80 little at the
time The Judge did not insist any
further.
Jim Webster was brought before an
Austin justice OF the peace. 1t was the
same old charge that used to bother
him so much in Galveston. After the
evidence was all in. the judge. with the
perplexed look. said
But l do not comprehend, Webster,
how 1t was possible for you to steAl
those chickens when they wero roosL-
ing right under the owners window.
and there were two vicious dogs in the
yard
1T wouldn't do yer q bit OF good,
jedge, for me to splain how I coLched
dem chickens, for yer couldn't do it
yourself ifye tried it forty times, and