The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-24
Sense and eUopset,se.

SeU5e ditu c2yuI5EstSr'
To succeed, young man, you must
work, unless you are to succeed to an
estate.
Beauties of the language: II q man
calls another rail spelled backward he
is said to rail at him.
Mr.. Dsmit lives in Illinois. He is
not prominent citizen, but his name is
a "household word"
man, being tormented by corns,
kicked his foot through a window, and
the pane was gone instantly.
1t is stated that only 400 cedars Of
Lebanon remain. How MANY we're there
and where are the seeeders?
They have brand of whisky in Ken
tucky known as the "Horn Of Plenty"
because i: will corn you copiously.
Little Josie Byron Murphy, OF New
Haven, aged two years, died from excess
sive joy on seeirg his Christmas toys
Dean Stanley, says Moncure D. Con-
wav, was ''the most heretical and lati-
tudinarian thinker ever conceded the
Christian name"
"What style of diction do you like
best 10 a clergvman?" ooh, don't
know. I am generally well pleased with
the bene-diction.
"Profe ,sor-"TIme Is money; how
do you prove it7" Sludent.-"Well. if
you give twenty five cents to couple OF
tranps, that is a quarter to two"
A Massachusetts small boy at Sunday
school gravely quoted Solomon: ga
wise son maketh a glad father, but a
foolish son is just like his mother J"
"Too much absorbed in bis business"
was the comment of Western. news
paper on the death OF brewer who was
dro Wned in tank of his own beer.
A man With a small salary and large
family says if pride goes before fall
he would like to see pride start on. q
little ahead Of coal and provisions.
A Chinaman thus describes trial in
our courts One man is silent, another
talks all the time, and twelve wise men
condemn the man who has not said a
word.
A four-year old child who, while Wis
iting, saw bellows used to blow an open
fire, informed her mother that "they
shovel wind into the tire down at Aunt
Emma's."
"Is your father Christian ?" said a
gentleman to little boy, on one occa-
sion Yes, sir" said the little bov;
shut believe he has not worked much
at it lately"
An Indiana girl sued man for breach
NJ promise. and proved him such 8
scouudrel that the jury decided that she
ought to pay him something for not mar-
ryng her.
A Tennessee man told neighb )r that
he had hidden $500 in q orncrib, and
that very neighbor was the chap found
in a bear trap at the corn-crib next
morning.
The clergyman has many duties
such, Tor instance, as engineering fairs,
making oyester stews and lemonades,
and curing love-sick people by joining
them in marriage.
Mr.. Speer, Mr. Frost and Mr.. Bel
mont, the youngest members OF the
House OF Representatives, are some
times called by their associates the "Kin'
dergarten members.
No two faces are alike. NoIwo cases
of insanity are alike No two patients
look or act alike. When you remem-
ber this YOU can give "expert testimony"
the credence it deserves.
II has been suggested those who con-
template swearing of from their bad
habits on the first of January will frd
it to their advantage to wrestle with
them during the intervening days.
"And so gave up searching for him,
for it was as hopeless as looking for q
. needle in bundle of hay" Then you
!, shouldn't have, for there is nothing
easier" Nonsense! How do you find
itP" sit down on the bundle OF haV!
A little four -yesr-old girl did not obey
when her mamma fist called her. so her
mamma spoke rather sharply. Then she
came iu and said: Mamma, I've been
very kind to you to-day. and don''
want you to speak so large to me-"
After wedding party had assembled
in church at Bloomington, Illinois, the
rather of the girl offered her $500 if she
would back out. She took the money
, remained at home, and sent word to- the
minister to dismiss the assembly.
; Mademoisele," said witty and gal
liant septuagenarian the other day, ma
king bis demand for the hand Of young
I lady still in her teens, 81 am seventy
and YOU are seventeen. Will you dc
me the honor of becoming my widowP
There is another jay Gould in embryo
y down in Maine He is young man
!, and having bought up all the pews in {
church at low price. got up a religious
excit, ment in the village, and when i
was at its height closed out his purchas
at profit of $500
= General Sherman says OF the lat
>. General Fitzpatrick: II never knew
!. more enthusiastic, brave and intelligen
officer, and was personally indebted te
him for the qulckness he displayed il
- comprehendlng my purpose, and the fer,
y y earnestness with which he executed hi
% part
!, Old Father Time sat down enc day
To take a sin of wine,
And shanced to see. across the way,
.s "a stitch in time saves nine"
8. "Well. well" quoth he, 50 stitch in Time!
A Indeed! Sew. sew! we'll see!
lff Now I'm determined they shall save
st Just nein by stitching me-
20 A Hoosier, purchasing ticket at
he rail way station, produced very dirt
he and ragged S5 greenback. The agel
n looked at both sides Of it, aud, in di
ID pusl, handed il back, saying: "Som
o. thing else can't, use that" "Nev
.. mind" said the Hoosier, "give it to Il
,is company then; they can use it, t
took the bill.
ip- 81 know" said little Canton girl
As her older sisters young man at the su
of per table, .that you will Join eur Socie
IL Ind