National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-02-04
FUN, FACT, FICTION.

Longfellow and prevents him from working.
The Partisan servants now rival their masters
and mislrcsses in card leaving Mt New Years.
Somebody says love makes 1913 pounds OF rh
feel no heavier than feather in fellows lap.
He was only poor super at the theatre and YET
when he played In tho menogerle scene they mada
q lion Of him.
Do you see this young mann what makes the
young man look unhappy lie haslately married
q young woman who has cold feet
A Denver editor hasn't kissed any lady but his
wife. for ten years. lie has missed heap Of fun,
but has probably saved good deal of hair.
Bishop Clark, Of Rhode Island, says 1.-THE de-
vout ohurch-goer who cannot be trusted on n week
day is the present scandal Of Christendom."
"Is the General on the retired llstT' they asked
Of his wife the other evening Retired No, In
deedi" she replied; "he's down to the club play
ing poker"
correspondent asks how he can build and
manage hot house. BY boarding his mother.in-
law, the desired information will come to him in
It's full force.
An Ohio man died the other day INN ediateiy
after asking for glass of water. Probably re-
morse and horror ut the thought of what was COM
ing killed him.
A Kansas City man in his will made the enjoy
ment of the income from his property by his wife
contingent upon her remaining widow Of good
moral character"
The claims against the estate of Archbishop Pur-
cell amount to 81 100000 and the assets are $500 600
The Archbishop must be some relation to q Chi
cago savings bank.
Boston bank puts forth the story that II has
sixteen tons of gold stored in Its vaults The OBJ
ject seems to be TO makeprofessonal burglars goto
bed with headache.
"Attar of RosegOscar" is on his way to the sunny
South where he intends to try and persuade the
young men to use aesthetic reyolvers and the too
utterly too bowie knife.
The Grand Duke Constantine. uncle TO the Car,
has taken house In Paris, and II Is probable that
he will reside thorc in future, as he Is not per-
United to return TO Russia.
IL should relax my features" is more aesthetic
than saying you should smile. Furthermore, you
don't go out to SEQ man " any more. You sim
ply raise your temperature.
four.yenr-old child. who, while visiting, saw
bellows used to blow an open fire. informed her
mother that they shovel wind into the fire down
at Aunt Emma's.7--Sundrv School Gazette.
Right Rev. DR.. Littlejohn has accepted the an.
nual chancellorship Of Union University, Schen-
ectady, N Y, and will deliver the chancellors adj
dress at the commencement OF Union College.
Lord Lorne has just received valuable diamond
ring lost by him during his last years northwest
ern trip and fortunately found by an honest half
breed, who confined the search after the party len.
"Therep triumphantly exclaimed Deadwood
editor, as a bullet came through the window aud
shattered the inkstand,"I knew that new Per-
sonal column would be a succcss."--Sdn Francisco
Post
Some of the students of the Indiana College
dressed up gawky, long haired comrade as Oscar
Wilde, accompanied him on q lecturing visit to
Charlottesville, and dined with an aesthetic vii
lager
DR.. Tolman Wheeler, of Chicago, has given
Bishop McLaren S20000 to be used In enlarging the
work of the Episcopal Church In Chicago in
RNn Han TIE NI,nI.a
boulevard.
Sixteen years ago there were at Harvard twelve
undergraduates from Harvard now the number
Is seventy. President Eliot snys that, with strict
economy, 1t costs about $500 year to be student
at Harvard.
Christopher r. Eliot, son ofthe Rev. DIR. Eliot,
the distinguished Unitarian divine of st. Louis,
has been ordainedpastor of the First Parish Church
In tho Dorchester district of Boston, tho Oldest
church wlthnthe city limits.
curious undertaking Is OH the carpet at Ba-
tavia, N Y. monument 10 William Morgan,
supposed to have been murdered by the Masons, Is
to be erected there, and over two thousand per-
sons have already contributed to its cost.
Postmaster Pearson is determined to get rid Of all
the competent men in the New York post ofhct
and to replace them with his personal toades and
creatures. Colonel Kerwin's dismissal will prob
ably be the last straw OH the camel's back
woman hunted two hours for n needle sho
dropped on the floor and couldn't find It, and then
her husband came In and had hardly taken his
boots off before he could tell where 1t was. Queer
how men can do things that women can't
druggist at Beltou Falls, Va, has been sent
to prison for sixty pays "for selling liquor as
beverage" Wonder what they.woud have done
with him If he had sold 1t as d liver pad or as q
wash for removing frcckes-7 t.ras sitiags
Olive Logan, in n London letter to the Cincin-
natl Enquirer, says: ~ really think change has
come over the heart OF the Princess Louise By tho
expression of her face should say she loves and
appreciates her husband as she never did before"
married man recently went to Wichita, Kan.
taking with him his little boy of fourye When
they returned the next day his mother asked of
the boy, "Who did you sleep with last nlght2' The
boy very innocently replied, With pa and another
woman"
1t was a North Carolina bridegroom; when about
to retire on the wedding night he could not pull
off his boots. He asked the bride to help him and
met with an indignant refusal. The disguised
man took out revolver, and In ten minutes was
dead with his boots on.
A ul-blooded negro was among the Cinnamon
who lately arrived In Denver. but he wore the
clothes, spoke only the language, and had all the
ways of his Chinese companions. He had lived
twenty seven years in China, having been cap
tured In youth by pirates
Chief-Justice Waite walked Off In the overshoes
of Justice Stanley Matthews. and tho Justice COM
relied the Chief.Justicc to shed them in street
cur. This WAS sad. for It Is not likely that Justice
Matthews will ever again stand In the shoes worn
| by Chief.Jus Waite.-Lerdd p T.
Miss Ida Ferry, of Chicopee Falls, who Is of full
average height, boasts the possession OF hair THAI
trails for half yard along the floor when she
stands erect. The glory has Its disadvantages,
however and 1t Is said that photograph will soon
be the only evidence Of the present fact.
A Philadclphlan deserted his wife to go or with
another woman. Amer being away n month he
wrote back that he was repentant, and would re-
turn If assured of welcome The wife replied
" Come home; you will be warmly received" And
so he was-by tho officer who was on hand to ar
rest him.
| A Washington letter says: Mr.. Arthur has done
some very graceful acts for man occupying the
| high position of President. One was seeking ouk
| lady who was one Of HIS wfe's bridesmaids, and
who is living very plainly In retired part of tho
city and going in person to see her to ask If there
was anything in his power to do for her."
A party of vegetarans who were boarding at a
water.curc establishment while taking q walk in
the fields, were attacked by bull which chased
them furiously out of his pasture. "Thats your
gratitude Is IT, you great hateful hlng2 exclaimed
one of the ladies, painting with fright and fatigue.
"After this I'll cat beef three times adayT
Yung Wing, the we'll. known Chinese Commis-
siouer and Associate Minister, proposes to become
q permanent resident in this country, lie has just
lefl Hartford on his way TO China, where he has
been summoned TO report upon the work he has
accomplished here. lie was the originator and
| successful conductor OF the Chinese Educational
| Mission.
The handsome Western belle picked out couple
ofyears ago for Uncle Sammy linden, and widely
advertised In the papers rs his alleged intended
| rtnH n lox IN nhnAu all