The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1882-11-16
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

l.. EN hen woman wants to get rid of
her husband for an hour, she sends him
7 up stairs TO get something from the
pocket of one OF her dresses. Sod saa4 i
| The PLAGUE mania is over, and the
next craze will be the ornamentation Of is
broom-handles and stove-legs. Astoye- d,
leg bearing Swiss view saves two per
cent. in fuel.-DetroH Free Press. rs ,si@ 81
| -"Violet, dearest, do you play chat 50
tune often?' asked Hugh Montressor Of ..,.,
his afflanced, Eyes, pet, and when we
are married sPll play it all the time.' -ssa
Then Hugh went out and shuddered
himself to death. NJ '''
I "A lawyer recently lost bride in a .s'
peculiar way. He appeared at the we'd Z
ding, but on being called to the cere-
mony, from sheer force Of habit protest. '@g'
ed that he was not ready to proceed and, d,,,-v
demanded delay. And so the bride got
mad and shipped him. Boston Tran -i
| script. sI9 IA =. - "a ..,Ig s,...,
do you like candy, map asked a
little Austin boy of his mother. s.No.
my son, lit makes me deathly sick.n II .;ss
am SO glad to hear it. You are the kind
OF a woman can trust to hold nv candy tgss
for me until I'm done playing = Terzls zs.l
SJtings. a.
They say if you hold your thumb, 20
tightly over the muzzle of gun you p.
may tire the gun and the bullet won't
he made to hit your thumb. we accept
tne truth of this statement at once We 5ss
don't propose to try the experiment Just
to crafty an ephemeralcuriositysH Boss
ton Post. 'NS
Little Phil, bright five-vear-oId. iy,ii8
afraid OF thunder. During the areeentss,s
hot spell bis mother would remark: 90! -,
for rain. One day when she said IT,
Phil thus addressed her: 20, mamma, a.,
| will tell you why it don't rain. When
l say my prayers / des say, Please tn
don'tpay any 'tentionl to what mamma .sr
says, COS I'm 'fraid of thunder.-Our :,
Continent. es@d staR@ ssr5
Il -Jenkinson is having his fortnight faa
off. As he was leaving the house the al,
other morning, Mrs. j. presented her
lips for the customary parting kiss; but 'sa
Jenkinson, the brute, turned on his heel ..
with the remark: ''Not this morning,
'Iilda; I'm on my vacation, you know y 9ss
Evidently Jenkinson is bound to get all ,...s
the recreation possible out of his vaca-
tion.-Boston Transcript.
p. AT one Of the stations on the Erie
Railway lives New York book keeper, f
viz ~ fApAAu Va SiCcu lOOQ. "A. gen lllc.sc.s.
man recently presented him with q pine. .Fss
apple, which he gleefully took home. ~
The next day the gentleman asked him
how he liked it. "Well.'' said he, .swei"d
boiled it for two hours with chunk off,,
corned beef, but ! can't say it was as
good as cabbage. ''-Courier- -Journal. 75%''f
An undoubted alibi: Sand you say ld
that you are innocent of the charge of
stealing a rooster from Mr.. Jones pr 10
asked an Arkansaw Judge of d meek-nIt
looking prisoner. Eyes, sir, / am inno-
cent; as innocent as a child.'' i.You
are confident that you did not steal the
rooster from Mr.. Jones?' Eyes, sir;
and | can prove it." ''How can you
prove it?' ''I can prove that didn't s!
steal Mr.. Jones rooster, Judge, because
stole two hens from Mr.. Grastoh the
same night, and Jones lives five miles
from Graston's,'' 1.-The proof is CON
elusive said the Judge. Discharge
the prisoner, ,"-Arkansaw Traveler,