The Portland daily press., 1882-01-09
T LIE PRESS.
Wanted Hounding.

He was a gentlemanly and affable-looking
man who walked into the managing editors
room of the San Francisco Post, and quietly
took a chair until that accomplished iourna-
list had finished an editorial with the scissors.
"what can we do for your" asked the editor,
finally, replacing the paste-brush behind his
ear. Haven't brought in a poem on
Autumn" he continued, frawning suspic-
iously.
''Not at all, my dear sir, replied the stranger,
with SMILE ~ trust l don't look like
poet have dropped in to consult you on
practical business proposition"
"Ah! an advertisement" sad the iourna-
list, benignantly. Something in the star ad"
line, l suppose?"
'In certain sense, yes" replied the bust
ness man. 81 want to know your best inside
rates for bounding"
"For WHAT" asked the writer.
"Why, for bounding. 1 should like to be
thoroughly well-hounded in your paper for the
next-say three months il it didn't come too
high"
"what the dew"
Permit me TO explain, interrupted the mat
ter-of-fact customer, II am an attentive read
er of the local papers, and I notice that when.
ever man, corporation or monopoly has
streak of luck, or gets to making money
rapidly, the said papers immediately Jump on
his neck as the saying is, and hound the sue
cessful person or persons as though he or they
were escaped convicts, or something like
that"
ssYou mean our blackmail contemporaries"
said the editor, vindictively.
81 don't think they blackmail anybody in
particular" said the stranger, thoughtfully;
THAT ia, not nowadays; the people seem to
have dropped to it, as the hoodlums say; but
that isn't the point that affects me. The point
is that of course these papers never hound any
body who hasn't got dead loads of coin. Every
body recognizes that fact, and the result is that
the minute they start in against man his
credit goes right up"
81 begin to DROP" said the moulder OF public
opinion scratching his head
why, of course It's dead sure PROPOSE
ton; so il occurred to me, as my business has
been dreadfully bad this year, that I'd either
have to brace up my credit or go under. I've
got to do il or bust. Now if l can arrange for
your paper to come out tomorrow afternoon
vita slashihg article accusing me OF being
grasping monopolist or a bloated corruptionist,
or something else rich and comfortable, it
would about fix me up
"snd you'd better go down and see the business
manager at once. I'll write an editorial my
self calling attention to you as bigamist and
swindler OF orphans and widows"
"Do So" exclaimed the far-seeing man, as he
rose to go-"Whatever you do, don't spare me,
gentlemen. Give it TO me strong, I've got
$4,000 note to meet on the 17th so you must
get your work in at once"
'I'll attend to it, said the editor, earnestly.
"rll work over your early career myself, and
have three or four affidavits accusing you of
bribery and brutality ready for next Saturdays
double sheet I'll send our most sarcastic re-
porter round to interview you, bright and early
Monday morning.
"Thanksl thsnks" said the customer, fer
vently. II begin to see my way clear already.
God bless youl'' and he tripped down stairs
with heart full of hope and encouragement,
while the editor at once set to work on leader
entitled "a Fiend in Human Shape"