Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-08-24
SPICE AND ALlSPICE,

SPICE AND ALlSPlCE.
FROM the German--a glass of beer
Puck.
"THE Khedive Kerhummixed is the
heading an Arkansas journal gives to
news from Egypt.
WHEN mans feelings are so gre at
that he cannot express them, had he
better send them by freight ?-Derry
NeUs.
WHAT is the difference between the
leader OF an orchestra and hook ready
for fishing? One has baton and the
other has bait on.
Stoves are supposed TO be a somewhat
modern invention, but the Egyptians
were warmed by Alexander the CRATE
B. G. 300.
WHEN might a railroad engine and
detective be said to resemble each other?
When they both are on the TRACK. .-Bos-
ton Traveller.
The spectacle of lot Of bald-headed
men in bathing is said to resemble an
animated game of billiards. s.-Phitddet-
phia Chronicle Herald
"No," said the art-patron musingly,
as he laid down the inchthyophagoustic
menu, 81 don't care for blue-tish to day;
suppose you give me bass-relief."
NARRAGANsErT PIER boasts of a re-
markable number Of pretty girl babies.
We have engaged board at Narragansett
for the summer of 99.-PhiLldeiphia
NeWs.
"No vehicle drawn by more than one
animal is allowed to cross this bridge
in opposite directions at the same time"
is a notice posted on bridge in Provi-
dence.
"Do you own this fence ?" sayagely
inquired farmer of a tramp who was
hanging over the structure. "No, 1
don't own it, grinned the nomad, but
| I've got lean on 1t.
ARABI BRY has been confiscsting all
the horses he can lay his hands on. This
is the first intimation We have had that
Arabi was trying to establish stable
government Terds Siftings.
Az Iowa farmer bid off soda toun-
tain at auctlon, took it home and filed
the reservoir with ice-water, and now
wants to sue somebody because he can't
get a fizz to it.-DetrOit Free Press.
ARCHBISHOP WHArELY was one day
asked if he rose early. He replied that
once he did, but he was so proud all the
morning, and so sleepy all the afternoon
that he determined never TO do it again.
MARY: 80, mem, I'm so glad | met
you! I've been and posted my prayer
book instead of your letter. Can l tell
them they shan't have the letter until
they give me my prayer. book back ~
MoOnshiae.
A NORTH CAROLINA man fired six
shots from his revolver at a stranger sit
ting on the fence fourteen feet away.
Then the stranger slid down with the re-
mark: "Land alive but why don't you
throw Logo"
A GIRL from Cincinnatah
Kept on growing fat and fattah,
| Though abe dicted on battah
For yeah.
| In vain she tried TO scattsh
All the adiposal mattah,
TIL the doctor said she'd bettAh
| Stop her beah.
Baltimore American.
The father Of an elderly damsel to
manageable young man: son the day
that l give you my daughter Adele
will deposit 100,0O0 francs with NJ.
Latitte." Francois: Thanks, dear sir,
but suppose you give me the 10000
francs and deposit Mile. Adele with NJ.
Lafitte. '-Quiz.
SOME fellow can get Job of hauling
| by calling at this Office. We want to
send load of Irish potatoes to the saw
| mill and have them sawed into smaller
pieces so as to get them into the kettle
| to cook. This was not written Tor joke
specially, but to give you an idea of the
size of the 'taters.- Cummings, Ga,
! gazette.
THERE is said to be woman in Phila-
delphia who aspires to command an ex-
petition to the north pole, and she
should be allowed to go. The best way
to find the pole is to put 81 800 pair
of diamond earrings and 5000 sealskin
sacque on the top of it, and give all the
women who want to go sailing CHARTS
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The doctors tell us we should eat less
beef and more fish. If the price of beef
keeps on going heavenward, we viii oe
compelled to live on u few Of the broiled
lies the boys bring home, because that
is about all our fishers ever do bring
back. People would eat more fish If
there were more fish caught. carroll
County (Ga.) Times.
$50 YOU'VE weaned the baby ?" said
lady to her next door neighbor. Yes,
did that some time ago. Why| The
querist stepped out on the front porch
as she replied, "Weli, judging from the
slapping noise 1 heard last night, l
knew you were bringing him up by
hand - The door closed with bang
that could have been heard over In the
next county.
ALrrrLR girl in the church at Ash
land, Va, has been one OF a band OF
workers to raise money to complete their
church building. She had earned by
her own work considerable sum for
child, when friend heard her express
desire to own a canary bird. 1t was
suggested to her that she could easily
purchare one from her own purse.
'.Oh !" she replied, can't get thing
for myself while I have that church on
my shoulders.
A GENTLEMAN, while bathing at sea,
saw his lawyer rise up at his side, after
long dive. After exchanging saluta-
tiops, says he, "By the way, how about
Gunterf'' "He is in Jail, replied the
lawyer, and dived again. The gentle
man thought no more of it, but on get
ting his account he found: "To consul
tation at sea, anent the incarceration
Gunter, 6 anu 8 pence"
"I UNDERSTAND, Uncle Amos, that
You have quit preaching" said the sec
retaIy Of state to an old colored man who
for years had charge of church in Lit
tie Rock. yes, boss, I'.e e, stepped
Ia xvo 10 nm upoovnua r,reaau req brouQht to
bar agin de ole man. Da charged him
wifi stealin' o ham, TO- one thing, an
'vised me ter quit" "Why, they
couldn't prove that you stole the ham,
could they" "No. sab, IA couldn't,
an et / hadn't 'knowledged IL da neber
could hab prubed it." "Why did You
acknowledge itf" cease de foun' de
ham under my bed, sab. ."-Arkoasas
Traveller.