St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-12-22
SquibS.

What it is: A corset is nothing more
nor less than a waist basket Albany
Express.
A real stalwart: There is one man
in New Hampshire so stalwart that he
won't even bolt his door. Post.
A lecturer once prefaced his dis
course upon the rhinoceros with 81
must beg y0u To give me your undi-
vidcd attention. Indeed, it is abso-
lutcly impossible that You can form IA
true idea of the hidcous animal of
which we are about to speak, unless
You keep your eyes fixed upon me ~
A bright little Decatur girl noticing,
among the company at her fathers
residence on IA certain occasion, a gen
tleman whose face was considerably
pOck marked, seemed much struck
with his appearance, and after the
company retired inquired who the
''moth-eaten" gentleman was. De
Kalb News.
Some men are mighty unreasonable
\ Vermont man told Il neighbor he had
hidden 5000 in hay stack, and when
he found the neighbor round the hay
stack the next dark night accused him
of planning to steal the money, when
anybody might know that he was
merely trying to find out if he had
been told the truth. - Philadelphia
Bulletin.
An humble Sausage thus Addressed
naughty Seal Skin sack How does it
Happen, my Friend, that you DO not
Recognize me, when it was only Two
| Months ago that you Used to Skin up
Tree whenever approached ?" To
this the Seal Skin Sack saucilv Replied
''YOu had None the Better of Me then,
| Mr.. Sausage, for while was skinning
up the Tree, you fOrsOOth Were Sailing
down the Street with IL tin can tied to
| your Tail."-Dcnver Tribune Fables
When an editor makes ii mistake in
| his paper all the world sees it, and
calls him liar. When private citi-
zen makes ii mistake, nobody knows it
except few friends, and they come
around and ask the editor to keep it
out of the paper. When the private
citizen dies, the editor is asked to write
of all his good qualities and leave out
/ the bad. When the editor dies, the
| private citizen says : "NOw that old
| liar will get his deserts" - [Oil City
| Derrick.
An old hand at it :: An Austin gro
Ger grossly insulted Mrs. Nose Scha-
umburg the other day, without intend
/ ing it. She is an immensely stout
woman, and, stepping on the scales,
playfully requested that grocer to
weigh her. As he adjusted the weights
/ he remarked that she weighed 100
/ pounds, which proved to be her exact
weight. GLOW did YOU come to guess
/ it p she asked. ''l am used to guess
ing at weights. | weighed hogs for
! five years in Cincinnati.n = Texas
Siftings.
Mrs. Bezumbee's call Mrs. Bezum-
bee, tall, elderly lady, who always
dresses i'll deep black, and is very much
given to making calls, will from
now on make no more friendly visits
to the mansion of Colonel Bailey Day
ton. She was sitting on the gallery
surrounded by the family, when II
turkey -buzzard aligh;cd on tree near
the house. "What large buzzard ~
remarked Mrs. Bezumbec. "Is that
Il buzzard ?" asked little Emily, very
much amazed. ayes, my child, that's
il buzzard." "Bnt it don't look much
like you" "Of course it don't look
like me. Who says turkey -bnzzard
looks like me ~ asked Mrs. Bezumhee,
Indignantly. "Why, Ma does. Eve
ry day when she sees you coming, she
says, There comes that old buzzard
again y Texas Siltings.