Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-05-12

pared to write it down on sheet of wrap
ping paper.
double u = said the voice.
Jones wrote it down, and said:
Eyes.
Double ~
s'I've got that"
well, put it down again."
Eyes. 60 ahead.''
Double u"
"Why. I've got that.''
PUT it down again."
But I've got it down three times. Jones
sighed, and wrote it down again.
IA double do
"a double d-that's add" soliliquized
Jones; then he shouted back:
add what ?"
a add nothing. just put down double
d.
This is internal nonsense - muttered
Jones; but he cheerfully call backed, IS Y es,
go ahead.''
ssE double ~
'sWha-a-t ?''
''Jenes stamped on the floor and pulled
his whiskers savagely; but he put it down
and sweetly remarked:
Yes"
That's all.'
',Al what ?"
s'All the name"
Then Mr.. Jones studied his paper
carefully moment, where he had written
thus:
'.Uu uuuuad d l." and rea rked to
himself, "Why, that's COMPOUNDED non
sense" He then hallooed through
the telephone in vain. and rung up the
central office, and inquired in yoin who
hal been talking with him. Then he stud.
led his writing some more. Pretty soon
III came his son, the junior partner. Mr.
Jopes showed him the letters and told him
how he got them. The junior partner
studied them hard, and read then. both
ways. looked On the back of epaper, and
finally said it was the infernalist bosh be
ever saw. They showed the paper to the
book-keeper, and be said it was sheer fool
lshness. The big clerk said it was absurd.
TIE little clerk thought somebody Was
crazy. Finally the GRAND boy looked at it
and was told that it was meant for some
customers name; thereupon he asked Mr.
Jones to call off the letters as near as he
could remember the same as he had re-
celved them by telephone. Mr.. Jones did
so. when the errand boy nearly choked
with laughing, sail:
'sWhy, that's perfectly plain, it is w.
w. Waddell."
Mr.. Jones never felt such an immense
relief since he went into business.
THE SPINDLE THAT NEEDED OILING.
An exchange gives an illustration of the
way in which well known ventrlloquist,
who gives public exhibitions, sometimes
exercises his gift in his idle hours. He is
great practical joker. Several years ago
he was on board Mississippi river steam
boat and forming an acquaintance with
the engineer, was allowed the freedom of
the engine room.
lie took seat in the corner, and. pull
ing his hat down over his eyes appeared to
be lost IN reverie. Presently certain
part of the machinery began to squeak.
The engineer oiled it and went about
utes the squeaking was heard again, and
the engineer rushed, oil-can in hand. to lu-
bricate the same spindle.
Again he returned to his post, but it was
only few minutes until the same old spin
die was squeaking louder than ever.
ssfyo ho ho 1tod 70
bewitchedP' More oil was administered,
but the engineer began to be suspicious
as to its cause. Pretty soon the spindle
began to squeak again, and slipping up
behind the ventriloquist, the engineer
squirted half pint of oil down the joker's
back.
'.Thers," said he, 81 guess that spindle
won't squeak any more.o
The joke was SO good that the ventrilo-
quist could not keep it, and he tells it
with as much relish as his auditors re-
ceive it.
81 prefer lighter literature said the
equity man " hen Worchester's Unabridged
fell on his toes.
II Tennyson wrote sThe Charge of the
Heavy Brigade" we move that the laurel
crown be taken away from him and given
to Walt Whitman or the Sweet Singer of
Michigan, we care not which.
ut isn't the loud praying that counts
with the Lord so much as four full quarts
for avery ua1Ion - rova an rkonaas Dir