News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-10-19
WIT AND WISDOM.

| HE superiority OF some men 10
merely local. They are great, because
their associates are little.
THE perfection of conversation is not
to play regular sonata, but. like the
Eolian harp to await the inspiration OF
passing breeze.
GREAT minds, like Heaven, are pleased
in doing good, though the ungratefui
, ~ ,,S.hiects of their favors are barren In
return.
Our minds are as different as our
faces we are all travelling to our desti-
nation-happiness; but few are gong
by the same road.
No MAN can possibly improve IN any
company for which he has not respece
enough to be under some degree OF re-
straint.
INaRATIToDE thou marble-headed
fend, more hideous, when thou show'st
thee in child, than the sea monster i
Shakespeare.
The Boston Post now thinks that il
Arab was any such person as old man
Sprague, the English wouldn't have got
foothold in Egypt.
How carrier, in throwing a news
paper over transome, can always man
age to make it fall in a pail of water is
something that cannot be explained by
modern philosophers. 1rdv-
eLer.
ONLY as brother: "My teeth are all
full of sand" said the fairest bather il
the surf. "All right, hand them out,
said an admirer; "and I'll rinse them
off for you." And now she regards him
only as brother. r.-PIck.
PRIDE, Immature, and want of sense,
are the three great sources of ill-man-
ners without some one of these defects
no man will behave himself i'll for want
of experience, or what, in the language
of fools, is called knowing the world.
SHE laid her head on the easy chair
against his head and murmured: "How
I do love to rest my head against your
head, Augustus" "Do you, dearest !?
said he; sis it because you love me ?"
''No; becaase it is so nice and soft"
IT is folly for an eminent man to
think of escaping censure, and weak
ness to be affected with it. All the Il
lustrious persons of antiquity, and in
deed of every age in the world, have
passed through this fiery persecution.
A BOOK of three hundred and fifty
pages has been written to prove that
sharks do not eat human beings. The
author of the work has declined an offer
of $1,000 to jump into the harbor at
Key West and settle the dispute.-De-
troit Free Press.
A MAN il he really tries can find con-
ISOLATION in every event of life. "Ah,
well," said an old farmer as he came
home from the funeral, "we've buried
good man when we buried poor Wuzzle
Howsomever, yer can't get no good out
of the ground 'thout you put some
good In.
EDISON has obtained over three hun
dred and fifty different patents, and is
is still applying. 1t is strongly sus-
pected that he intends to start paper
next year, and expects to run the circu-
lation up to fifty thousand by giving
each subscriber patent. This would
be slight improvement on the map
and chrome scheme. - NoTTistO1On
Herald.
AT the restaurant: After struggle
disespaired against bifteck who resists
heroically and does not let himself be
cut, client arrests himself exhausted,
and, posing his fork, appeals to theboy:
Sis this of the beef or of the horse ?"
4" No, mister, it is of the mule" "Oh,
then, have nothing to say, for the mule
is most enheaded !" L (Entete-stub-
born.) And the unhappy diner contfn-
ues the struggle uninterrupted.
A BRADFORD lady's husband was de-
tanned late one night at his business in
Haverhill, and could not join whist
party to which he had been invited.
"Why didn't Charlie come ?" asked the
host. Because" answered his wife;
che had to stay at the store-(after a
vain search for the word she wanted)-
teetering his accounts" Balancing
was the word she was hunting for.
"MARY," said he, gazing into her
bright eyes, "can you tell me why you
are like the weather ?" Give it
up" said Mary, quite promptly. "Be-
cause" said Charley, "you are so con-
founded changeable, you know"
every good" said Mary, "but can
you tell me, Charley, why you are not
like the weather." Charley having
failed to guess, she added, "because the
paper here says the weather is going to
clear off," Charley looked serious and
began searching for his hat.-Boston