davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
Rapid Transit on the Rocky Mountains

Rapid Transit on the Rocky Mountains.
On Saturday evening we had the
pleasure of riding down the dizzy grade
from Hancock a distance of eighteen
miles, in which time we descended
mile perpendicularly in push car,
with Superintendent Wilbur as conduc-
tor and engineer. A push ear is plain
flat car about as big rs dining-table,
with tour wheels and nothing to propel
it but gravity and nothing to stop it
bat n sharpened piece of pine two-by-
four scanting. Hancock is nearthe Alp
inc tunnel, at the summit of the moun-
tains. about II, 600 feet high. Secretary
Morgan, Mrs. Morgan, with their little
daughter Gertrude, Z. A. Slack, of the
Sun; Frank Clark. of the Leader; Su-
pcrintendent Wilbur and ourself con-
stituted the party.
At first everybody was little nery-
Gus with the accommodating velocity of
the car and the yawning abyss below
lis: but later we got more accustomed
10 it, and the solemn grandeur of the
green piDe-coveTed cauons, the lofty
suow-coyered peaks, apparently so near
Us, and the rushing foaming Torrent far
below US, were all we saw. Like light
ming we rounded the sharp curves
where the road seemed to hang over
instant destruction. and we held our
breath as we thought that only piece
of two-by-four scantling stood between
Us and death.
Again and again the abrupt curve
doomed up ahead and below US, while
we few along the narrow gauge at such
a pace that We were almost sure the ear
would leave the track before it would
round such point, and each time the
two-by-four went down on the drive
wheel with pressure chat sent up
volume of blue smoke.
1t was a wild. grand ride-so wild
and grand in fact that even yet we
wake up at night with a start from q
dream in which the same party is rid
ING down that cannon at lightning speed
and Mr.. Wilbur, in thoughtless mo-
ment, has dropped his pine brake over
board Wyoming Journal.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
"Without Anv Beard

London Temple Bar has this: ssThe
King of Spain sent an Ambassador to
the Pope-a young man of high extrac-
tion-with special mission. The Pope,
informed that a special Envoy of the
King of Spain demanded an audience.
imagined that he would receive an aged
Minister, covered with stars and venera-
bic with white hairs, etc. Instead of
which in walked. with light, elastic
steps, quite young man. Naughty
and irritable, the Pope looked at him,
and at last said: Are all the old diplo-
matisIs in Spain dead, that the King
sends US a young boy without even a
beard?' ('Um jeune homnae ana5erbe?)
Holy Father said the indignant Span
lard, if the King, my master. had
thought that honor consists in a beard,
he would have sent you goat, and not
nobleman like myself
To which the Cincinnati Commercial:
This anecdote reminds US of an in
cident in the history of early Method
ism in Northern Ohio. A preacher
had been appointed TO new circuit,
and wore on his first round fashiona-
bic broadcloth frock coat, which his
tailor had innocently provided for him.
This became source of grievance to
the homespun laity, and it was finally
resolved to make it matter of disci-
plina. So at first quarterly conference
charges were prepared in due form, and
the offending minister notified to be
present and make answer Entering
the room where the Presiding Elder and
lesser magnates were assembled, the
preacher stripped OFF his coat, hung it
on the back of chair. and pointing to
it said: Since it is the coat that offends,
try it. Could | preach any sounder
gospel in robes or cassock? 1t seems to
me it is not the manner of the coat, but
the manner of the man in the coat that
should be considered And there the
trial ended"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
What Prevented Him From Committing
Cr7s~.Ga

There is no doubt but what the tenn
peranee element holds this city tighter
in their squeeze than any place of any
size in Maine. This is a picture of
what is the best they can do for bar
room. Imagine room about eight BY
twelve feet, apparently an old closet,
nothing in the shape of spirit TO be seen,
excepting faint smell of the dear de-
parted, such as one gets from bar
towel. One or two boxes in corner,
rubber coat on a coat hook, and half
dozen others hooks loating for want of
something to do. A gripsack and pair
of slippers on the floor and small bu-
reau behind the door, the glass gone
and the paint going. A sad, silent, pale
faced man suddenly appears before you,
looking as if he had not smiled since the
landing of the Pilgrims, and taking in
the number of those present, he opens
the little comb and brush drawer in the
bureau and pulls out the requisite num-
Der of glasses, unroofs a herring box
and produces a bottle-and such a bot
tie. Not flask. not real cookbook
ing, healthy bottle, but one about as
large round as ones wrist and half as
long as your arm. A sickly-looking
pitcher completes the list of accessories.
Not word has he said. 1t is plain
drink or nothing. Of all sad places,
Lewiston bar-ro0m lays over anything
| ever saw. / asked the dispenser what
prevented him from committing suicide.
and he said simply the fear of death,
that was all, but little thing like that
never wonld stand in my way.-BeLast
(Me.) Journal.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07

A young man stood silent on Broad
way yesterday. He was good looking
and neatly dressed. He appeared TO be
very much absorbed in contemplating
some object across the street. He was
so obiyious OF his own personality that
when he was joStled by some one of the
passing throng he paid not the least at
teulIon TO it. A push, q thrust in the
ribs, produced, seemingly, no response
in his sensibilities. He stood long and
patiently, turning his eyes neither TO the
right nor to the left.
At length the fixity of his attention
and gaze attracted the attention of a
plasterer who was passing, The plas-
terer stopped short and followed with
his eyes the gaze of the young man. A
boy, observing the youth and the plas-
terer staring across the street. joined
them. Then came washwoman, then
bank clerk, then q man of leisure, then
two negro swells, and finally q simple
crowd of a promiscuous nature was COL
lected, all looking in silent admiration
at two men in an opposite window, who
were engaged, one in swinging Indian
clubs, one in pulling away at a patent
chest-expander. Meanwhile the original
gazer had shifted his position. The re-
porter said:
How much do you get an hour?"
The young man started. ''Well, you
see" he said. ''the art of drawing a
crowd is peculiar one. I get twenty
five cents an hour for the use of nv
eyes. l haven't read Mark Twain for
nothing"
Then he resumed his twenty five cents
an hour interest in the window across
the street. and looked around in the
consciousness of being proficient in his
art.-Nelp York Sun.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07

A NEW IDEA embaced in Elys' Cream
Balm Catarrh is cnred by causing
discharge and cleansing, not by drying
up. The application is easy and agree
able Price 80 cents
Apply into nostrils with little finger
1 Was troubled with Chronic Catarrh
and gathering in my head, was very
deaf at times and had discharges from
my ears, besides being unable to
breathe through my nose. Before the
second bottle of Elys' Cream Balm was
exhausted | was cured, and to-day enjoy
sound health. c. T. CoBBIN, 923
Chestnnt-st., Field Manager Philadel
phia Pub. House, Pa.
I Am cured of Catarrh and deafness
after giving Elys' Cream Balm a ttor-
ough trial. Ny aunt was deaf in one
ear. After using the Balm few times
her hearing was restored z D MORSE
Insurance Broker, Elizabeth, n. j. II
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
He Felt Proud of His Feet.

In down town auction room. on a
certain occasion, little German jew.
who was slowly and shrewdly making
his bid, was addressed by near by
stander with:
There is a very disagreeable odor
about here; what can it be?''
"Yaas," he replied, unhesitatingly;
''dat ish my veetr'
Your feet! Then why don't YOU re-
tire from the room and not mingle with
gentlemen The odor your feet exhale
is very offensive
"Ahn' responded the little Hebrew,
''you ought to zmell 'em in a Email
room in de zummer-timer'
Pride in such an accomplishment, as
Baron Pompolino would say, SIS q viz
tue somewhat rare"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
They Snared His T.;fa

Many years ago, when Denver didn't
! have any opera-house, and the Rocky
Mountain country was terra f9coqgita
of the world. there wandered out to the
region of Fort Benton man named
Exbeadle, who made himself unpopular
among the Shoshones by killing some
of their most prominent men whenever
he could catch them away from home
As result of this course of procedure,
Mr.. Exbeadle had large private ceme-
terry. and hostilities were declared by the
tribe.
Mr.. Exbeadle was a speculator, and
one day fortune threw in his way lot
of fireworks that didn't meet with a
ready sale and he purchased them,
more for his own amusement than any
thing else These he put to one side,
and didn't think of them again until
one day there was council of war In
the Shoshone tribe, at which it was re-
solved TO extinguish the light of Mr. Ex-
beadle and send him across the mvster-
ious river.
They notified him that the intention
was to make him climb the golden stair
in about fifteen minutes, Western time.
1t looked pretty dubious for moment,
and he didn't know exactly what to do,
not having time to consult counsel.
1t was dark night in autumn, and
MIR. Exbeadle felt that the morrow
would be of very little interest to him.
Like IN inspiration, however, came
the recollection of his fireworks He
rose and said:
Gentlemen OF the forest, you appar-
emily have the bulge on me, and I admit
you are largely in the majority, but YOU
do not know me. l am medicine man
from Michigan, and | can make it
mighty interesting for you, if you carry
this thing too far. / just say this for
your own good, and more in sorrow
than in anger. Ii you take out my Wit
ais and feed them to the vultures. will
linger near you in the spirit, and viii
annoy you pretty plenty. | am aware
that | have planted some of your
leading men in the cold, cold ground; but
that isn't a marker to what | will per-
form when get out of the flesh, where
| won't be delayed by the inclemency of
the weather.
Il will now proceed to show you
few little amateur efforts of mine as a
medicine man from away back"
MIR. Exbeadle then let off a new style
of sea serpent from a slight elevation
1t was the biggest thing in the line of
pyrOtechnics that was ever turned loose
west of the Missouri. Ii shot out into
the dark about nine feet like carload
of delirium tremens, and squirmed
through the inky bosom of night like an
uneasy demon walking in his sleep
The gathered warriors of the tribe took
one Mortified look at the Kissing ennis
sary OF hell, and lit out. They left all
their baggage that didn't happen to be
tied to them; and there hasn't been a
Shoshone Indian seen there since.
MIR. Exbeadle picked out the best po-
MES belonging to the tribe, loaded up
the rest OF fireworks, and went home
Hr lived many years after, and became
one of the most trusted Indian peace
commissioners known in Western his
tory.-LGraanie Boomerang.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
s Child's Valna Of q Cent.

To child cent is the embodiment
of wealth, the anticipation of his every
expectancy, the central point of happi-
ness. Give him cent. and his eyes
grow big with brightness, and he goes
off on tangent Of happiness. He has
no idea but that it can buy tons of can
dy, hogsheads of toys, or poney with
buggy attachment. What would you
give if you could appreciate a cent as YOU
used to? Not bat what you do cling TO
one with some tenacity, but the young
gliding of the cent is gone. You now
recognize it as the important factor.
which, if added to ninety-nine other
cents, makes dollar.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07

DoiDS a Great Deal Of Good

Mrs. J. Berry, of Portland, Me-,
writes--Your HENRY's CARBoLIc SALvE
is doing q great deal of good. Some
of my friends have been greatly bene
fitted by its use. l think it is the best
salve / have ever used. Beware of
counterfeits.
BAKERS PAIN PANAcEA cures pain in
Man and Beast. For use externally and
internally.
Dr. RoeER's VEGETABLE Worm SYRUP
instantly destroys Worms aud removes
the Secretious which cause them.
DIR. DEWITT G. kELLISGEB' 5 LISIzEgF
is an infallible cure for rheumatism,
Sprains, Lameness and Diseases of the
Scalp, and for promoting the growth Of
the Hair.
DEMONS BAIsAM cures Colds,
Coughs, rheumatism, Kidney troubles,
etc. Csa bs used exATnaaiy Us psasser.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
q Ermn. GnIl,

Numbskull is q young man who in
herited ignorance, and has been gradu-
ally adding to his patrimony. He read,
among some proverbs, the other day,
that "a wise man never apologies.
Ee wanted above all things to be con-
sidered wise, and here was an attribute
of wisdom that could be easily copied,
so he thought. He had, on several oc-
casions. apoloTized, but he would do so
no more. 1t was unwise. So the next
day, when he ran against a lady turn
ing corner, he didn't stop to apollo
gize. but walked right on, though not
SO rapidly as not to hear the remark of
a man who observed his conduct:
WHO is that fool scudding away
there?''
Since then Numbskull doubts about
proverbs being just the things to go by.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
A VOUnO man well known in buSipo

A young man well known in business
and social circles, and not unknown in
the journalistic profession, invited
young lady living on the bob side of
the city to attend the the performance OF
"Edgewood Folks one evening last
week. With many regrets the young
lady said her father, who, by the way,
is minister, objected to her attending
the theatre, but that she would be pleas
ed to accept an invitation to the opera.
The young man had not contemplated
an expenditure of the opera altitude,
but his gallantry forbade refusal and
ne gracefully accepted. He readily OBJ
serves, however, that the moral distinc-
ton between a beautiful pastoral play''
and an opera with ballet accompani-
ments is one of those things no fellow
can find out.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
The Draft of Chimnevs.

At the closing meeting Of the British
association Lord Rayieigh read paper
before the mechanical section on the eff
feet of wind on the draft of chimneys,
based upon experiments made with
tubes and fan driven by hydraulic
power. He stated that a horizontal
wind would usually promote draft, ex-
cept in cases where the chimney opened
out upon a large eXpanse of wall, and
so was indirectly affected. The cure in
this case was to carry the chimney high
er. When the wind was inclined down
ward to the chimney at an angle of
thirty degrees and upward, there was
down-draft, and the maximum up
draft was produced by wind inclined mp
ward at about the same angle. The
simplest thing to prevent wind blowing
down chimney was to erect a T-piece
on the top. In that case vertical or
inclined wind favored the draft, and
the effect of wind blowing through
the L tube was practically nothing. Mr.
Park Harrison suggested as the only
real remedy an increase of draft. Ii all
the chimneys in house could be made to
open into a common cloaca, a down
draft would hardly ever occur
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07

Old Mrs. l., the widow of small
farmer, of Westminster County, was re-
markable for her plainness OF speech
and manner; and she was zone of cute
sort" The Old woman was All import
ant witness for the prosecution in a case
in which Burke Cochran defended the
eyil-doer. Her testimony bore hard up
on the prisoner, and in the cross-exarni-
nation, Cochran underworld in vain to
confuse or irritate her. At length, turn
ing abruptly to the witness. he exclaim-
ed:
MADAM! you have brass enough in
your face to make twe,ve-quart
pailr'
Yes" replied the witness, land
you've got sass enough in your head to
fiji itr'
The lawyer had done with that wit
ness
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07


Aess. Robinson & Hi,lrichS:--We take
this means OF attesting our high opinion
of Hiarichs' american Corn Cure Our
opinion OF its value III removing CoT1ls
and Warts l. based on The tact THAR we
have used 1t and have found tuat 1t viii
do Just what yoG claim for it, As a cure
for Coriss aud Warts it is deserving OF
the hIghess praise, aud we take pleasure
IN recommending it to all who are affiict-
ed, knowing that 1t will effect care in
every instance.
Yours respectfully,
Ii. ID. SMALLEY, Justice of the Peace.
HUsH MORRISON, City Marshal.
Il. ID SMART, County Judge.
G. II. SCHMIDT, Editor Nord Festen.
FRED. HEINENAN, City Clerk.
G. =. CANKIGHT. HENRY BURcHERDT.
A. ID. SMITH. Fl. kLNGHoI.z, I'll.
L. BRANDEIs ROYAL SNIFFIN.
JOHN PTTz FRANK A. MILLER.
J. p. REINpL. VIM. RUNGE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
REQUISITES fol q PHYSICIAN,


To be a successful physician woman
must be lady, womanly woman. No
aping of masculine habits. dress or fol-
bles will conduce to success. She must
have an affinity for the work, feel at
home in the sick room, with desire and
tact to relieve suffering, devoid OF any
morbid sensibility at sight of pain, of
fensive deformities, and CHASTITY injuries
and operations. She must be born to
command, firm in purpose and quick to
execute, at the same time have dignity
and self-control. Nothing must escape
her observation. She must be able to
reason from cause to effect, strong in
convictions, but slow to give an opin-
ion. She needs love for scientific re-
search. and the ability to apply herself
to study.-Dr. dice Stocktdnt.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
stlauitoluof 1)ilot.
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1882
Hotel Guests Electrified.
The Trouble that Caused by the Little Screw
of an Electric Lamp.

of an Electric Lamp
A gentleman leaning against one of
the iron pillars in boomers cafe recent
ly, says the Philadelphia Press. was OBJ
served to pitch suddenly forward and
nearly fall on the marble floor He turn
ed very pale, and looked about him to
see whether his involuntary action had
been noticed. 1t did not appear to have
been, and he walked back to the pillar
and examined it critically. Then he
walked around it and looked to the cell
ing. He looked to the floor, and then
to satisfy himself whether the post had
moved from its place and kicked him,
he pressed hard against it with the palm
of his hand.
In another instant the gentleman was
sprawiing on the floor. lie got up and
finding that he was beginning to attract
attention, he walked back and sought
Mr.. Dooner. is this place haunted"
be asked, ''Or have You familiar spirit
which knocks people down?'' Then he
explained what had taken place. Non
sense said Mr.. Dooner, .sshow me the
post and I'll hug it if you say SOL Mr..
Dooner was shown the post, and he put
his arms around it. But it was not for
long. In less than two seconds Mr..
Dooner was where his guest had been a
few minutes before. At the same time
a howl of rage was heard in the bar
room. Mr.. D0oner ran back. 4 man
was standing there with a half-emptied
glass of wine in his hand. what does
this mean?n he demanded. II attempt
ed to take a drink and a shock went
you" He was interrupted by another
man, who entered suddenly with a yell
and a mutteTed imprecation. whats
the matter here?" he asked, rather ang-
rily. Iput my hand on an iron post out
there, pointing to the cafe, land | be-
lieve I'm paralyzed.'
BY this time group of excited men
had gathered around. The place is be-
witched," said one, cor has been mag
netized," suggested another mo,
gentlemen" ventUred little man, who
was smiling broadly, ''it's nothing OF the
kind. These gentlemen have all receiy-
ed an electric shock. Make an investi-
CATION and see If / am not right
The hotel proprietor sent for the
manager OF the Electric Power Compa-
ny on Arch street, above Tenth. He
came, and in less than twenty minutes
had solved the mystery. 1t was found
that steel screw, from which depended
an electric light, had been pushed too
far through the lath and plaster and
came in contact with an iron girder rest
inc on the pillar and the base of the pill
lar rested on another girder beneath the
floor. The gentlemen who were knock
ed down had completed the circuit
by touching the post, and the man
who thought he was drinking mol
ten lead did the same by placing his
foot on the metal rail in front of the
bar, after he had lifted the glass to his
lips. The screw was given a half turn
back. the circuit was broken and every
body was relieved.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
The Sassy Aspect of Some Women.

"Women have taken on a sassy
aspect" writes Clara Belle, '.due to tip
ping their hats over their noses. l don't
know how long the fashion will last,
but Just now the turned back brim is
discarded, and the top front of the head
is once more covered. This transfers
the neuralgia center from the phreno-
logical bump of reflection to the bump
of love, and / won't undertake to pre-
dict the result. VIII the sudden expos
ure of the back of the head, right at the
beginning OF cold weather, lower the
temperature of the amative-mercury
supposed to be stored in that part of the
noodle? Or, will it cause congestion and
consequent increase in the number of
weddings this winter?"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
Apythiur to Fill in Time.

Scere-Piazza of rural hotel. At
one end of it Il group of women talking
vigorously; at the other end . group of
men smoking.
Voice from the group of women-'I
wish you to understand, madam, that
my children have just as much right to
the parlor as yours have"
Response-'.I don't care snap for
you or your children; you're low COM
mon trashn'
Voice from the group of men
There's going to be a hen fight; let's
take a walk"
Response Gall speaking together)-
81 eft 6 -
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
A coUGH, COLD Or SORE THROAT

ACOUGH, COLD OR SORE THROAT
should be stopped. Neglect frequently results
in Ia INcURAsLE LCgc DISEASE OR CoNsUNP-
ro1. BROWNS BRONCHIAL TR0GHES ARE
CERTAIN TO GIVE RELIEF IN ASTHMA, RgOE-
cnITIs, COUGHS. CATARRH, CONSULTATIVE AND
THROAT DISEASES For thirty years the TrCcn-
o. have been recommended by physicians. and
always give perfect satisfRc. ION. They are not
new or untriei but having been tested by wide
and constant use for nearly an entire genera
zion, they have attained weli-Tnerited rank
among the few staple remedies of The age
PUBLIC SPEAKERS and SINGERS use them TO
clear and Sfrs-,la,r hen thu VOICE. Sold at tween
yv-nve cents tux everywhere. dEMH
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07

The Philadelphia young man has an
ingenious system of Irritation. He OBJ
serves lady whom he would like to
know more intimately. He walks up
behind her on the street and drops some
yellow substance on the back of her
dress. In moment he tells her very
politely that some wretch has been spit
ting tobacco juice on her dress, and in
vites her into a neighboring store,
where he cleans the dress. Then he
tells her that her dress in that condition
will attract attention. and suggests q
carriage to take her home. They enter
the carriage, and-tte rest OF the story
depends altogether upon the character
Oh the lady.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07

FREE OF CosT.- All persons wishing
to test the merits of great remedy-one
that will positively cure Consumption,
Coughs, Colds. Asthma, Bronchitis, or
any affection OF the Throat or Lungs
are requested TO call at Robinson & Hin.
richs' Drug Store and get Trial Bottle
of DIR. Kings New Discovery for Con
sumption, free Of cost, which will show
you what regular dollar. size bottle will
do