The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-08-30
The Honest Man.

In spite of his rheumatic extremi
ties the Democratic Rip Van Winklt
is actually trying to dance, ano
makes about as graceful a figure as
the ordinary dancing bear. The
reason for this unusual rafting oi
the dry bones is TO be found in the
supposition that after using as much
time and trouble as Barnum TO Sc
cure Jumbo, they have at last Sc
cured an honest man, and his name
is Pattison. We have not been in-
formed In what Mr.. Pattison's hon
esty consists. The Democracy can
not surely be so self-condennatory
as to make all this fdss over a man
who simply has not been convicted
of stealing, SO we must perforce look
for the honest mans claim to that
tile in another direction. Perhaps
it consists in loyalty TO those hu-
morous myths called Democratic
principles, and if so we must con-
gratulate that party on its remarka-
bly, bad memory, as Mr.. Pattison
merely from a feeling of personal
pique opposed and defeated the reg
ular Democratic nominee for council
in the sixteenth ward, when said
nominee was a man altogether un-
Objectionable TO the party, and OF
undoubtedly good character. We
always knew that the Democracy
had bad memory, but we did not
know that it could so readily forget
an insult of that description, much
less Mr.. Pattison's opposition to
General Hancock, probably because
he like Beaver. was Union soldier.
But perhaps his honesty consists IN
his manly Independence. If mere
personal conceit were taken into
consideration Mr.. Pattison is un-
doubtedly Independent, for his char
acter is as barren of humility as q
Kamtschatka iceberg is of hen feath
ers; but il by Independence is
meant freedom from prejudicial
manipulation we must protest
against the use of the word. for his
present position reminds us iorcibly
of the story of the monkey and the
cat. The monkey held the cat firm
", while he used her paw to get the
chestnuts out of the fire, and though
the cat mewed little of course, she
was Independent. Now Pattison is
honestly Independent in the same
sense. There are senatorial chest
nuts roasting and a certain monkey
needs a certain cats paw to get
them out of the fire and the only
difference between the story and the
fact is that the cat is like Barkis.
"willin'," and the monkey will only
have to supervise, not to hold.
Now we are sorry TO have to use the
terms cat and monkey, even TO po-
litical foes, but if 4Esop will furnish
Us with such pat Illustrations, we
are certainly not responsible, so
Messrs. Cassidy and Pattison, you
must take it out on the hump-bacl1-
ed old Greek. He's dead, it is true,
but that doesn't matter: write an
article on him and damage his repu-
tation with posterity as Ovid did
for Sappho. What amuses US is
that you expect Republicans to
throw water on the fire and thus
make the task easy, but the signs
are that you labor under most
wonderful delusion, as with every
day the spirit of loyalty to the Reg
ular Republican organization is on
the increase and the feeling is grow
ing that two years hence will be
time enough to try Cameron's claim
to continue in his present Office.
Mr.. Pattison is therefore neither
honestly loyal, nor honestly indie
pendent, so we must return to the
proposition originally advanced that
his honesty consists in the SUPPOSE
ton that he never robbed the public
exchequer. Why, it would be as
hard to find in the Republican ranks
man who would do such thing,
as it has been for the Democrats to
discover one who has not, and it is
certainly very poor advertisement
of the party honor and still less of
its good sense to herald so loudly
and persistently as a rare virtue
what the Republicans deem the
plainest duty. There is one thing,
however, for which we must give
Mr.. Pattison credit, namely, an hon.
est appetite for Office. No Scotch
man in the Court of James the First
ever had a greater ambition for place
holding than this insatiate Mary
lander, but it is very certain that
the Governorship of Pennsylvania
will not drop into his greedy hand.
and tnat the chestnuts are reserved
for a better man.