The National tribune., 1882-12-28
SOME SIDE-SPLITTERS.
What the Funny Fellows are Saying in the NeWS-
papers.

I hH"t tue FuBny teiiOWS are Saying in the NeWy-
papers.
Harvard's compliments to Yale: "I don't
know replied Montmorenci, cuttingIy, with a
polite smile. but know man who had twins
| 50 much alike that the only way to tell 'en
apart was to send one to Harvard and one TO
| Yale. Then one came back a gentleman and
one Connecticut rough. Harvard Herald.
A virgin forest The London Times prints
/ the following palpably imaginary story of a
certain Irish VI. F., who had been describing
his travels in the far west and the virgin for
ests there. What Is a virgin forest - asked
an auditor "PnwaJ is a vairgin forest is il
ye want TO know? \ vairglu forest, sorr. IL
one phwere the hand o. man has niver set fIt
bedad!'
Making haste slowly: A young couple, ia
whom parting is most sweet sorrow, engage a
hack to drive them home from the BOiS by the
hour The soachman takes in the situation
and drives home with fond, reluctant armor-
Gus delay. When his fare settles the bill the
jaryey is unable to repress his disgust at the
smalIness of the tip. "One franc extra" he
says with an expression Of profound dssatis,
faction, and l made all the haste | couldn't.a
French Fun.
Livery man has his price: Once upon time.
when General Ney, the Duke of Elchingen, who
committed suicide last year, was commanding
the cavalry at Versailles, a circus manager was
introduced VINO came to obtain dozen CuiFaS@
siers TO take part in the grand triumphaI entree
OF his circus. "Ch, ! suppose you can have
them" answered the Duke. "What'1 you pay
them?' Three francs a head" Three
franc5." exclaimed the Duke, who was very
prudent in money matters; why, man. III 90
myself !'-Paris Paper
superior being, anyway: A tiny little fell
low living in an Eastern city, but away out on
the borders, where clrcusses did not come OF
professions, and VINO had never seen a soIdie5
in full rig, was sent to the door by his mother,
who heard the bell ring. 1t was Colonel s,
in full regimentals, as it was the day of the
Inauguration of the Governor. Tell vouI
mother, little man, to please come to the door
moment; l want to speak to her" Charlia
went up stairs and appeared before his mother
with the most aWe-strucS face. Mamma,
there Is some one at the door wants to see YOU
WHO is it, my SOM" Il don't know, but I
think its God. .''-Detlod Post and Tribune.
Conclusive evidence: An Austin man who
made prolonged trip through Mexico gives us
some interesting details of his trip. He saws
that when he was in the City of Mexico he was
shown through some OF the old buildings, con-
vents, and jails that were erected by the Span.
iardS. In the wall of one of these ancient
buildings he noticed a small opening and he
naturally inquired Of his Mexican guide what
1T meant. He was told that it was one of the
buildings in which criminals were walled ug
alive. "What was the use of that hole in the
Wall?" Well, Senior, you see, as long as the
prisoner lived his food was handed in to him
on plate and he handed the empty plate back,
but when ne handed the plate back with the
food on it untouched, then the jailer knew the
prisoner was dead already and didn't give him
any more. ."-Teras SiftiagS.