News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-08-17
HOW TO BE BOYS AGAIN,
Some Advice to our Public Men as
Given by Western Humorist,

From Peek's Milwaukee SUM-
The legend that men are but bows of
larger growth, was illustrated at Syra-
cuse, when Roscoe Conkling met man
who used to play marbles with him
when he was boy. They got into
conversation about how good game
they used to play, and each claimed
that he was the boss player in the olden
time, and to settle it they went out be-
hind store, with some marbles, made
big ring. and played for keeps until
MIR. Conkling skinned his friend, when
they shook hands over the battle and
separated as smiling as they were forty
years ago, but not SO happy. If such
men would meet often, and go through
some of their boyish games, the world
would be better for it, and there would
be fewer bitter enemies among prom
inent citizens.
Suppose David Davis and Alexander
81. Stephens should drop the cares of
state some day and take couple of
jack knives and sit down on the grass
and play game of mumblety-peg. 1t
would loosen up their joints, make
them feel young, and do them more
good than dozen bottles of liver medi-
cine or anti-fat. Of course Stephens
would have the bulge on Davis when it
came to pulling the peg out of the
ground with his teeth, but that would
be neither heresanor there. Both would
greet each other more kindly and
friendly afterwards.
We believe it would do John A. Logan
more good than a visit to the hot
springs, if he would pull off his boots
some day, put on hickory shirt, hat
with no crown and the brim gone,
pair of tow cloth pants held up with
one gallus, and go off in the woods to
drown out gopher. By the time he
had carried water a couple of hours
from spring forty rods away, in an old
wooden pail, and poured it in the hole,
he would be as healthy as an Indian,
and when the gopher came to the top OF
the hole, soaking wet, and John grabbed
him by the neck and got his thumb bit,
he would be as proud of his victory as
though he had passed a pension bill,
aud he would walk down Pennsylvania
avenue as sassy as though he didn't
care whether school kept or not, limp
ing on one heel on account of a stone
bruise.
If President Arthur would some day
take baking powder can full of angle
worms, and take Sterl. Rounds, the
public printer, and Tim Howe, and
Frank Hatton, and the four should bor-
row some old clothes of some poor boys
and go down to the Potomac and fish
with tamrock poles and twine fish lines,
for bull-heads, all the afternoon, they
would have the best sport they havehad
in thirty years, and we presume old
Tim Howe would laugh, if Arthur sat
down on bull-head, SO you could hear
him clear to Mount Yernon.
We have often thought we would like
to see Don Cameron and old Christiancy,
and Tilden, and Sunset Cox, and a
whole crowd of those fellows go down
to creek and peel themselves and go
in swimming old-fashioned. But we
know how it would be. The other
fellows would tie Tilden's clothes in
knots, so he couldn't unite them without
an eight to seven commission, and when
they got their clothes on they would
run off and leave Christiancy crying for
them to wait for him.
Oh, there would be heap of fun for
these fellows if they only knew it, going
out hickory nutting, cooning melons,
and acting as they did when they were
young, but they will lallygag around
their houses, resting, go to the club and
get their skins full of wine and devilled
crabs, and terrapin, and by and by you
will hear of them at summer resorts
water for their kidneys, and
after a while they will die of Bright's
Disease, and congress will go to the
funeral and get drunk at government
expense.
People try to be too almighty grea
in this world, and they lose half the
fun that is goin on. If Conkling is the
man we take to be, he will, now that he
is out of politics, organize marble
or an old-fashioned town
ball game, and make all the old fellows
play or keep score by cutting notches
in shingle. If he will do it, blessed if
we don't vote for him for president and
no questions asked.