St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-01-20

battery, which has made every one
laugh, for years, at its street parades.
was especially and obnoxiously dem
Onstrative. Figure to yourself, as the
French would say, a slouchy gang OF
very fat, beer-soaked TeutOns in dirty
uniforms, with rusty swords and har-
ness, mounted on brewery horses and
dragging around old fashioned cannon.
Their ex-captain sought and obtained
the unanimous opinion of these numer-
Gus Falstatfs that the Inspector Gener-
al didn't know how to inspect bat
terry. He happened to be a West
Pointer, a Lieutenant-C Colonel in the
regulars with as clear record for abil-
ity and gallantry as any officer we can
boast of.
Another Dutch command is in tribu-
lation because their chaplain can't find
any minister willing to lend him a
church to preach an annual sermon to
the ludicrous crowd. They are report
ed to be chiefly composed of Socialists
and Freethinkers, but are at present
in highly edifying condition as seek
ers after public devotional appear
ance.
They hanged a murderer over in
Jersey the other day-at least the jury
found him to be one and | dare say he
was-and he was duly buried, but the
remains were speedily dug up again
and sent to Potter's Field. 1t appears
the lot owners of the cemetery objected
to the supposed Dissertation of the soil
which encased their aristocratic de-
ceased relatives. Some folks don't
seem, in this nineteeth Christian centu-
ry, to be very far ahead of the piOus
cOurtiers who booted or boosted Crom-
wells bones from Westminster Abbey.
A rare tale has been unfolded about
Mrs. Heddy, also somewhere in
our Jersey suburbs. Queer people
some of our Jersey friends The old
lady is helpless and destitute. HeI
children are comfortably off. Each is
willing to chip i'll to support her, but
they can't agree on terms, and i'll con
sequence of the quarrel n new indus
try has been developed. One son pays
a couple of men So piece to carry the
old lady in a chair and dump her in
front of another ones door. When
discovered, she is forthwith removed
to another and dumped there, and
passed on in due form. The old lady
has spent her days and nights in the
streets for some time, and the mani
testers of this filial affection have each
spent more money in trying to carry
their point than would suffice to main
tain her till the end of her life and
then bury her decently. Again let us
observe, this is the Nineteenth Century
The Governors message has been
the cause of some talk. He has seem
ingly talked about everything in gen
eral and particularly as well, and he
has made some good points. He has
something to say about oleOmargarine,
which we think a very wholesome
preparation of fat, but is rather too
costly when considered as fat. As i'm
itation butter it is cheap and Il good
imitation, but-er-er don't yOu think
-eh-it's just Il trifie too too-eh.
Can'st thou make taffy of cleo, etc? |
wot not. About the immigration ques-
ton the Governor strikes an old note,
but it's a good one. Mostly all the
immigrants come here. They don't all
stay here, by large majority. New
York pays all the expenses of receiv-
ing them and caring for them, while
here, even feeding those unable to find
work, and providing for them when
sick for space of five years after arri-
val.
Not dime is contributed from any
other source. Once the emigrants were
taxed : head, or rather the steam
ship companies were, and they took it
out of the emigrants, and this money
enabled the work to go on without our
people being assessed a cent. But
even this extra 81 checked immigra-
ton, 81 being emphatically 81 among
the poor of most other countries, and
the steamship men fought hard against
the tax. 1t was declared uncOnstitu-
tiOnal, and is now repealed. Now the
Empire State stands the racket, and
as 5000 in round numbers came over
last year, the bills to pay weren't small.
Much of the bone and sinew goes West.
Most of the least valuable stays right
here, and broken down adventurers
constantly return to fill our hospitals
and prisons. Why should not the
burden of the evils of immigration be
as equitably divided among the states
as the benefits That's the question.
RADIX.