Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1882-08-03
Aists!lanecus.
a. J Burlrtts
A Chapter on Secret Societies.

Ga the edge Of the uI. country j. O.esn.
Il doesn't prDluor. bat d store. and refine,
and IL manufacture. the pleasant lulr
protecting commuui, called nitro Il, orrIur.
Full Of power - OlcAn. Aud II has 4 sr-
crrt society ON ever, corner. For a town ii
it, s.Er Il scar. morr rrga.l. than auV other
to~ IN America. he upper sIndu~. are
Socal With initials, and il has been fairly
>aec.uAtcd for \. o. /. w., and hA. bruk
en- out With ). KS Of the same. aud It has
al eruption Of f.. o. VI 4. which suppose
means every other Monday afternoon" be
cause It meet, eSery other Wednesday and
there are /. O. q. F's, and f.. 4. u e.
pecially eau de vie. and r. and A. Ms. and
4. o. r.. and X. Of ). F.'s. and X K Of
t., ~hich 1. probably the k-iginal K-lental
T. company lodge and league and legion.
chapter, council. post, cOno!ase and CON
mAnder, -Olran hA, en- all.
Solomon invented the Free VI asons
didn't be ?" asked the Jester, no isn't yer,
well posted on these things. lie did, re-
Piled the fat passenger, proudly, Who j. one
Of the ~aNups. and wears three kinds Of
pins and a watch seal. that nobody can read
With SUNDAY, Monday. Tuesday. Nrdne sday
and all the rest OF the ten commandments
initiated on IT, "He did. sAid the fat
passenger. a. he bent thirt, third degree
ln-thr- shade look upon the man on the wood
box. who i, only VI, ,tlc Nail Eater oi
Jerlcho. and only dates the origin OF his
order back to the day. Of BeelIebub.
Solomon the Jester remarked. mu,ing
ly. was WISE man, and extremely numer-
Gus father, and an e1tra,a agantly difusiye
/ n / 4 Z
and bre,et, than there are women in Oiean.
And have no doubt he vas good. ex-
emplary Mason. Only, | wonder, If he had
been content with one wife, If he would
have invented lodge night Nov, out in
Burlington, where live" the Jester wen,
on, hastily breaking IN on the "a, passenger
attempt 10 say something, was woman,
q nelghbOr Of NINE whose husband belonged
TO more lodges. and societies, and frater-
mites and leagues, and orders, and unions
and clubs, and rites, and teams and things
than the tao Of them could count in week
Why, this man used TO take some Of his
meals at home. And he went TO bed in re-
gala PLAIN, but regalIs. And from force
OF habit he used TO call his wife worship
full mistress, and he addressed his children
as, Junior Nardens, and Chief Tough
Mogues' and Most Worthy Basin Bazouks
and other wicked and pagan titles. The
mans children grew 10 regard the entire
system Of secret societies of the United
States as their father. They had vague
idea that they we're in some close degree
blood relations To solomon, and they told
their Sunday school teacher that their
grandmother worked on the Tower Of Bah
s.f "A h.. Al
as Uncle Hiram. They believed tha,
Great Heart was post commander OF the
Grand Army Of the Republic. And this
man used to go down and pound the boiler,
and hold one corner of the blanket, and
grease the pole, and help eat the pitch.
nights Shen there was a candidate to BE- as
sassInated and he watered himself into
dropsy at Good Templar meetings, and
ferRented himself into a beer vat Druid
picnics. and ate himself into a chronic in
digestion at Odd Fellows suppers, and sat
up nights with sick Grand Army comrades,
and visited Masonic widows, and comforted
knights Of Py'hias Orphans, female-si1-
teen wears and upwards-ar.d he danced him
self into paralysis, and got his eyes black
ed at all sorts Of balls, and had good busy
time of ii, and was considered capital fel-
low because he had to write IS. o. F. W.
and b. b. G. f.; and +. o. ID. If, and W.
/. p. d. after his name every time he wrote
a letter or registered at a hotel.
"Well one day there we're several things
going on all al once in our town. There
was a grand convocation Of knights Temp
lsrs-and a public installation Of Hope
lodge, No. S211, l. o. o. f., and Druid
picnic. and Hioernian Benevolent Society
ball, and fraternity symposium, and Grand
Army parade and camp FIRE, and special
NJ W. of the S. X. of A. o. u. w. Legion
800. and two or three bazaars, masked
parade Of the 7. o. Ms, and a fire-tourna-
ment and a fight, and a choral union re-
hearsa, and a choir meeting and squabble,
and base ball match and a regatta, and g
croquet quarrel, and in the effort to attend
all Of them in full regalia the man overdid
himself, came home all tired out, told his
wife he didn't believe he felt very well him.
self, and went straight to bed.
"His family never saw the man again fol
six weeks. And the days vsrs msds busy