davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
An Ark Built in Fear of Another Deluge

An Ark Built in Fear of Another Deluge
A few miles below Otto, Ala, there
is an old negro named Moses, who
claims that he had revelation from
the Lord, in which he received infor-
nation that the world would again be
destroyed by water. He was SO con-
vinced that the destruction would be
by water that he at once began the work
of building an ark. He has been thus
engaged for several months, and the
result of his 1abors may be easily seen
from the river. The ark is very unlike
the representation of the one built by
Father Noah, and would doubtless not
withstand any severe gales, such as
might be expected in a cruise of forty
days and nights. This oddly construct
ed vessel or house is placed on high
hill, ready for the rising water. 1t is
composed of several apartments, about
five feet wide and ten feet long, which
are placed on the top of each other.
Each has small portico, and spires
with feathers as ornaments. Approach
ing The dwelling of the negro, one has
to pass through a very elaborately dec
GRATED arbor, over the entrance of
which are the words: Welcome, Peace,
Rest and Happiness. - Columbus
((T1 En0fll1'e7.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
A Cure for Smoking.

"a few years ago was most invet-
crate smoker said Judge Tyner. the
First Assistant Postmaster-General, rs
he strolled along the beach at Atlantic
City, "At that time thought it moth
ing to get through ten cigars day and
often l exceeded that number The
practice played the mischief with my
health. bat, do what could, the habit
stuck to me, and l decided that it was
no good trying to be virtuous where
tobacco was concerned.
stWell, cured myself by mere ac-
cident. One day, while crossing the
ocean, had severe spell of sea-sick-
ness, went up on deck in the hope
that the fresh air would act as . reviver.
Mechanically, as was my habit, took
out cigar and lit it. Before it was
half consumed the sickness came on
again. Ugh! it makes me pale to think
of it even now. Anyhow, overheard
went the cigar, and from that day to
this a couple of whiffs are enough to
burn ME upside down. !. If you happen
to know anybody who wants to let up
on the habit, just advise him to take q
weed and q dose of sea-sickness to-
gether and | warrant you he VIII be an
man ever afterward. -
Phs3QdelpAtd Record.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
How the Boys and Girls Study at Harvart

How the Boys and Girls Study at Harvard.
There is trouble at Harvard College
on account of the admission of girls as
students, an innovation that was re-
Gently made. 1t appears that the col
lege has large library, provided with
t'authoritiesn and sofa seats, where the
students go to refresh their memories
upon certain points in their studies,
and the complaint is that girls will get
down some work, of which there is
only one copy in the library, and when
young man comes in and desires the
same book he is obliged to swait until
the girls get through with it, or sit
down and look it through with her. On
a recent occasion a venerable professor
entered the library and was surprised
to see no less than six girls with books
that young men were desirous of perus-
ing, SO desirous, in fact. that the two
were seated together eagerly scanning
the pages, when the professor entered.
The sight fairly caused the glass in his
spectacles to bulge out, and it would be
mild expression to say that he was
shocked. He ut once inquired the
cause of this extraordinary desire for
informatioa that hal so suddenly
sprung up, and the young men told
him plainly that there must be dupli-
cate copies of the books procureA, SO
that the girls could have ono and the
young men the other. He said he
would attend to it the first thing in the
morning. and then the old Puritan
glared around the room at the girls,
who, poor things, were sitting with
their noses close down to the pages of
their books. and were studying as
though their hearts would break.
Then he coughed couple of times.
vaguely. and then he had the decency
to 90 out.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

Sifttst sdfftK. f1oi5eiisteiif. ote psoat dere
vas in dc pisness. | hat put de bian
already in Liberation, und it works silust
so easy as a Windmill. In de town in
Alabama we're iii, slere vas an old
plind mule vat vas named Mike. und de
only ambition vat he haf vas to go
around at nighd und fall down veil.
Fiery morning ven de beople got up
dey found dot mule at de bottom uf
some ven in de town. und dey would
haf to work all day TO get him oud.
Ven he wasn't in a veil at nighd he
would be standing on de sidewalk, und
ven man NIT lantern come along he
would eder kick de man trew de lantern
or de lantern trew lie man, debenlling
endirely on yich uf dem he hit first.
Veil Won day vile vas helping to get
dat mules head oud uf hole ia
bridge vat he fell in, / dinks uf de blan
vat dells You aboud, und vent to tie
man vat owned Mike und he sold me
de mule for secondhand ACCORDION.
Veil, Won nighd I put de mule NIT
bundle uf fodder on de railroad drack,
und de nexd week de company bays me
dwcnty dollars. All dot We haf to do,
Hoffstein. vas to buy all do old mules
vas made. 1t WON'T dake much capital,
und ven Won Sdate vas worked out We
can move to anoder.' Herman, dat
vas Horizons blan for getting yelty, und
the last dime vat / saw him he vas
blanding cabbage oud at Sde poor
house. ~. @. Times.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
Queer Freak of Nature.

Here is about the most strictly local
work of whirlwind on record. A ship
with $500, 900 of British goods is pass
ing Rio Janero on her way to China
She is sailing nine knots, with no cloud
in sight. The captain in his cabin
hears crash. Goes up to find the
mainmast lying over the starboard side,
with mizzentopmast, foretopsail yard
and pgallentmast-th mainmast
twisted off near the deck, The mate
said he had heard a rushing sound; the
whirlwind struck the sails on the main-
mast with thud-those on other masts
being untouehed-and away went the
mast and spars mentioned. The ship
was otherwise ali right, the wreck was
cut away, and she sailed safely into Rio.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
HOfeustein on Money Making.


'Msder HoffensCein," said Herman
thoughtfully. ''de oder day | vas read
ing how all de rich men in the country
got dere money by dinking uf blans und
inderbrises, und sometimes / dink dot
] viii got up blan myself. Vat you
dink of itP''
my gr-r-acious, Herman" replied
Hoffstein, astonished, swat makes you
dalk dat EayP Don't you haf sense
enough to know dot vile you vas going
around wasting your time dinking Nv
blan to make money dot oder beople viii
be working and getting velty? Pay your
addention to de pisness, Herman, if you
want to get rich. Dot vas de segret of
success, Ven / vas in Vickspurg /
knew man from Alabama, und his
name vos Horton. All vat Horton efer
do vas dinking uf blans 10 get rich, und
keep on dinking uf dem undil he vent
around de sdrcets NIT his clodiug look
ing like q rag carpet und drying to
make de beople invest their money.
Won day he come in my sdore, und he
SAYS, 'Rube, / wants to see you on pis-
ness uf importance Vat vas it, Hor-
ton?' / saws. Veil he dinks vile und
den he says, haf . blan vich if haf
de money to carry it oud would make
me Won uf de veltiest men de whole
country around. Do you know dot in
Alabama dere vas bienly uf railroads
und no less den tifdy dousand old mules
vat vas blind und has warts on dere
legsP' .Vat's de mules got 10 do nit de
railroadsP' / saws. Wait aviie und you
will know, says Horton und he dook
oud uf his booklet a biece uf baper und
q pencil. Now. he says. we can buy
dose mules fur fifdy cents abiece. md
ven de railroad runs ofer Won uf dem
und kills him We gets dwenty dollars
from the railroad beople. Fifdy
dousand mules at dwenty dollars q.
head viii bring von million uf dollars.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
Profits in Garfield Pictures.

Next to the mourning trimmings the
creates traffic has been in the large
photographic pictures of the late presi-
dent, and Mrs. Garfield, and Gen.
Arthur, the new president. The sale of
Garfield's portraits have been as fifty to
one almost of either of the others. An
employe in the principal establishment
in Boston said recently that his concern
in two weeks. They had received
orders. he said, from nearly every city
and town in the United States, and he
expected that the establishment would
be kept running night and day to its
full capacity for the next fortnight
Boston Herald.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
Never Go Into q Place Where You Would
Not Take Ynnr Wifa.

Not long ago a young man in Carson
got married and started for California
with his young wife. As he boarded
the train his father bade him goodbye
and gave him the paternal blessing.
My son. said the aged sire,
shaking with emotion, etc., remember
these words if you never see me again:
Never go into a place where you
would take your wife, fa
The couple settled in Mariposa coun-
ty, and last week the old man went
down to visit them. He proposed a.
bear hunt and they Were fortunate to
track a grizzly to his lair among some
boulders in the chapparal. AS the two
approached, the bear reused up and
sent forth a growl OF defiance that
shook the trees. Ts
go in there and kin 'im," said the
old man excitedly.
The SON held back. further acquaint-
ance with the bear seeming in some re-
speets undesirable.
Count me OUT he said.
Have crossed the seas and settled
in America to raise coward?'' shouted
the father brandishing his gun.
Il recollect your advice when / left
Carson" was the reply. ''How can I
forget your sage precepts? Didn't you
tell me never to go where / couldn't
take my wifee Now, how would Sal
look in there with that bear?''
The old man clasped his dutiful son
to his bosom, and as the bear issued
forth, exclaimed:
Speaking of Sally, let us hasten
home. Our prolonged absence might
cause her needless alarm.
In about fifteen minutes they had
reached the ranch, tho old man a little
ahead, and the distance was about four
miles.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
-z7szl-szs1--'-7.--7Il'-7--l''s'.--ls-l-1a-l--a
PILEaII
PILES!
FILEsi
a Sure Cure Found ataLass. no One Need
SufTer

szg
A sure cure for the Blind, Bleeding.
Itching and liberated Piles has been
discovered BY Dir. Williams (an Indian
remedy, called DIR. Williams Indian
Ointment. A single box has cured
the worst chronic cases of Is and so
years standing No one need suffer
five minutes after applying this won
derful soothing medicine. Lotions,
Instruments and Electuaries do more
harm than good. Williams Ointment
absorbs the tuImors, allays the intense
itching particularly at night after
getting warm in bed). acts as poul-
tice; gives instant and painless relief.
and is prepared only for Piles, itching
o. the private parts, and nothing else.
Read what the Hon. J. M, Coffin
berry, of Cleveland, says about DIR.
Williams Indian Pile Ointment: 1
have used scores of pile cures. and it
affords me pleasure to say that I have
never found anything which gave such
immediate and permanent relief as DIR,
Williams Indian Pile Ointment.
For sale by all druggists, or mailed
ON receipt Of price $500.
s. T. Henry & Co.. Props.
Cleveland, Ohio
For sale by McCabe & Wheaton. Rock Island.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

For the benefit of people who haven't
any handkerchief or gloves, the Gin
cinnati Saturday Night has felt called
upon to give the sweet damsels of the
Paris of America away by detailing
how they firt and where the peanuts
go, as follows: Breaking the shell gent
Iy-I am mashed on you. Crushing it
savagely-Why will you break my
hearth Slipping the shell into the pock-
ct We must be secret. Throw it away
You are fired ont. Swallowing the
peanut whole-rm yours alone. Eaten
mincingly-Go slow. Tossing it up
and catching it dexterously in the mouth
Some other evening.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
Climax! Climax

Pages Climax SaIYe,
A Family Blessing for rs cents.
1t heals without a scar. No
family should be without it.
We WARRANT it to CIRE
Sores, Ulcers, SerofDlst sores,
Fever Sores, Salt KIleuE..s ore
Breasts Or Nipples, EFysile elias,
Swollen Glands, INF AIMED Eyes,
ScaldS, Burns, CutS, Bruises,
Fistula, Piles, Rolls, CEii!b!ains,
Frosted Feet, CorEs, AHA ail Gu
taneouS diseases on Elan az least.
1t las been used o,eI Vi, My
Eve years, without Gic failure.
1t has no IIel-haying per-
fectly eradicated DISEASE, . nd
healed after all ether remedies
had failed. 1t is a compound of
Arnica with many ether Extracts
and Baisams, and put up il, larger
boxes for the same price than any
other Ointment.
EI Sold by Druggists every where
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

Prince Bismark has a special fond
ness for his little estate of Schophausen,
one which has belonged to his family
which was gift from the Margraves of
Brandenburg. The prince passed at
Schonhausen the greater part of his
childhood. and formally attached its
name to his own.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
Seeking a Translation: a Queen Does
the Work

A good story reaches us from Belgium
says the Manchester Erdnelne7', the
truth of which is guaranteed. A bank
ing-house at Neryiers recently received
letter from bank at Buda-Pesth.
The recipients knew that it related to q
matter of great Importance, but, un-
fortunately they could not master the
contents of the missivc. as it was written
in the Hungarian language, and there
was not q soul at Verviers who UNDER
stood that tongue. Accordingly, ono
of the partners took journey toBrussels
expecting to find everything he wanted
at the capitol, but only 20 be disappoint-
ed-nobody at the banks could read
Hungarian. There was, however, still
the Austro-Hungarian Embassy, whith-
er the banker betook himself. to learn
that there was an attache who spoke
Hungarian, but he had gone to Bar
ritz for some sea-bathing, Almost in
despair. the hero of the story called up
on the Burgomaster. with whom he
was acquainted, and related his troubles.
After some thought his worship, strik-
ing his forehead, exclaimed:
s.After all, sometimes our most fool
ish ideas prove the best"
With this enigmatical observation he
asked for the letter. The next day he
returned thasoriginal to the gentleman
from Verviers, with translation in
French, in neat, feminine hand.
ITO what Hungarian fairy do owe
this good fortuneP" asked the delighted
banker This is an affair involving
some millions, and l shall be happy to
pay handsome douceatr to the trans
lator who has enabled me to get at the
meaning of the letter in time to con-
clude the affair
Il take you at your word,' replied
the Burgomaster. Give me 10,oo0f.
for the poor of Brussels, for the trans
lauor is none other than the Queen. She
has experienced lively satisfaction in
employing her knowledge of the Hun
:1arian language to oblige one of her
subjects"
Yhe Queen of the Belgians is daugh-
ter of the Archduke Joseph, whose
benetic.nt rule of Hungary is still re-
membcrei by the people, and she was
born in the capital city during her
fathpIfa palatii,a
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
TRUTH ATTESTED.
Some Important Statements Of well-Known
People Wholly Verified.

In order that the public may fully realize the gen.
u1neness of the statements, as wei as the power
and value of the article of which they speak. we
publish herewith the fac snte signatures of parties
whose sincerity is beyond question. The truth of
these testimonials is absolute can the facts they
announce be ignored.
MOLINE, Ill, July IA. 1891.
Fl. II. WIdTner De Co., Rochester. NJ Y:
GENTLEMEN: Your remedy, the Safe Kidney and
Liver Cure, mas been used by both my wife and N.Y.
self She used it ION general principles, sys
tenn and liver regulator; i took the medicine for
long-etanding kidney trouble, which has been the
source of much inconvenience, and which failed to
yield to the doctors remedies any Others until
used your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. We both
unite in pronouneng it to be the best.medicine we
ever used, and in recommending it to others as a
safe remedy. I
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
BIackgnard journalism.

Said Horace Greeley: There is moth
ing easier than to edit hlackguard
paper. and nothing more difficult than
to get up newspaper free from foul
ness and blackguardism. Fish women
aud bar-room loafers are skilled in the
art of dandying epithets and bespatter-
ing each other with dirty words. 1t
requires no brains to do this; but it
does require both heart and brains 10
print newspaper that decent man
or woman can read without a blush. ]"
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

Mrs. John Brown has received a gift
of nearly So. 600, contributed by those
who wished TO show their admiration
and reverence for the good old man
whose .'soul is marching on.n
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
Moffat's Life Pills,
phnnix Bitfers,

The Most S Successful Medicines
IN the World.
Established in 1855, b. one Of
our Nest Eminent Physicians,
and now used throughout North
and South America, with more
pleasing results than any other
Medicine.
MOffat's Life Pills
are purely vegetable: they act
on the Stomach AID Liver, ard
regulate the entire system, ard
put all the f'uncti0.s ct the body
in a Iealthy condition. Q and
WARRANTED a certain cure for
all MalariGus Diseases, Torpid
Liver, Impure Blood, Jaundice.
Bilious Complaints, Dyspepsia,
INDIGESTION. Costiveness, NerY
GUS and Sick Headache, Colds.
Scuryy, General Weakness, and
Fever & Ague.
M0ffat's PhGDix Bitters
correct the Secretfons or the
Stomach, and are a Sure Cure
for Sleeplessness, Nervousness,
Dyspepsia, Female Complaints,
Weakness, Debility, etc.
Thousands of Certificates are
I'm our possession giving perfect
CURES effected by these inyalu-
able medicines, and we are cer-
tain that they will do just what
we have said. 1T is simply ask
ed that the afflicted Will TRY
THEN ONCE, their use will con-
vince the most skepfical.
Pages Climax Salve 25 cents box.
M0ffat,s Life Pills % cents n box.
M0ffat's Fhenix Bitters S1.0O n bottle.
e Sold by Druggists everywhere.
j. P. MILLS, Sole Proprietor,
S5 Liberty Street New York.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

When the last census of India was
taken it was found that there were over
over so, 900 widows nnder six years OF
age.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
LYDIA =. PINKHARF,S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
The Positive Cure
For all Female COMPLAINTS

This preparation, its signifies corsists Of
Vegetable Properties that harmless to the most del
icate invalid. Upon trial the merits of this Com
pound VIII berceoGnized, relief Is immediate and
when its use is continued, In ninety cases In hun
dred effected thousands win tes
tify. On account of its merits 1t is to-day re
commended and prescribed by the physicians fin
the country
It VIII cure entirely tho worst form, of faIlins
OF the uterus Leueorrhosa, irregular and painful
Menstruation aII Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation and
liberation Floodins all Dlsplaceents and the con
sequent spinal weakness and Is especially adapted to
the Change of Life 1t viii dissolve and expel tumors
from the uterusin early stage development The
tendency 70 humors there Is checked worry
speedily by itz use
In fact IL has proved to be the great
est and best remedy that has ever been discover
ed It Dermeates every portion OF the system and gives
new life andv.Sor. 1t >scness flatuiency de-
sroys all craving for stimusuGs relieves weakness
OF the stomach
It cures Floating Headaches, Nervous Prostratio,.
General Debility, seeplessness, Depression and Indi-
gestion That feeling of bearing down, causing PAIN
weight and baesache, is always permanently hy
its 1t viii at all times and under all circusan.
ces, act in harmony with the law that governs
feTnalesystem
For Kidney Complaints of either sex this compound
is unsurpassed.
Lydia {. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Isprspared at 2s3 and 25 Western Avenue lynn Mass
Price sOo SIX bottles for $500 Sent by mail in the
form of pills. also the form Iozenges on recipe
of price, $i.o0, per box, for either. Mrs. PINKHAA
freely answers all letters OF inquiry. Send :or pam
phlet. Address as above Kentfon This paper
No family should be without LYDIA z. rI15KHA~
LIVER PILLS They Constipation E.liousness.
ndTorpidity of the Liver. cents per box.
NoRRTsONf PLUMMER q co
Gener Agents, CHICAGO, ILI.
<s~ Sold by Mccabe Wheaton. Rock Island.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

There may be no such word as can't.
but may we be blessed If there isn't
such thing as cant In words.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05
NERVOUS DEBILITY.
A Cure Guaranteed.

DR.. e. C. WEsT's NERVE AND BRAIN TREATMENT
. specific for Hysteria, Dizziness Commissions.
Nervous Headache. Mental Depression, Loss OF
Memory, Spermatorrhoea, Impotency involuntary
erti Premature Old age, canseo oy ovel-e1-
20 misery, decay snd death. One box will cure re-
cent Cases Each box contails one months treat
Ineht. One dollar box, six boxes for five dol
lars; sent by mall prepaid rsceipt OF price. We
guarantee SIX boxes to cure any case. With each
with five dollars, we will send the purchaser our
written guarantee to return the money If the treat
ment does not effect q cure. Guarantees issued
only by McCabe 81 Wheaton, Druggists. Rock Isl
and, Ill Orders By mail at re ular price. d&w
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-01-05

Remember heavy
a ih Greats
IEROVEMENTS,
ns is own Supona T1EhT
mehcnnes st orhneaB Nhwe hf oupo
any y
by n things,
g. @ A " Fl. H.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1882-01-14
Nevada's capa biIilies.

The Reno GaZatte thinks Nevada is
not supporting near the animal life it
is capable of, the land is not put to
the most economical use in either the
kind of crops oil the method of cul-
tivAtion. Inc turnip grows we'll III
cold soils, and in fact 1t is only in
cold countries that ii reaches perfec-
lon. II grows larger IN California,
but is stringy and woody, and has no
such delicious flavor as those grown
here. The turnIp is not only excel
lent food for man, but tame and " lid
cattle ca /. with relish. Ii makes them
fat and healthy. A piece OF lanl that
will Ia Sc "a ton OF hay will raise sew
eral tons of turnips. Beats and car
rot also make excellent food for AMI
mails, and vii grow we'll almost any
here in Me- ada. 1t Is a%liiiculL 10
say where the capacity OF Nevada for
raising cattle and horses would stop
if the right method prevailed. DIS
lant parts of the State are capable Of
producing vast quantities of grain,
hay, beats, carrots and lurnips, and il
these We're all cultivated To the full
extent AMI fed TO sto tx the results
would lie enormous. Cattle and
horses are goods that are indepen lent
OF I~aIlroads. Thousands oi heads
have been raised in Nevada, Oregon
AMI Idaho and driven TO the country
East of the Rocky mountains at u
nominal cost.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1882-01-14
solvlag she Mormon Problem

The Herald's Washington special
says: Delegate McGinnis OF Montana
proposes an excellent way to put a stop
to polygamy and place polygamous
Mormons under the proper control of
the law. His proposition is to let
Congress divide the Territory OF Utah,
incorporating the western part with
the State OF Nevada, the southeastern
part with the State of Colorado and
the small northern part with Idaho
ami Wyoming. Congress has album
dant power to do this, aud it is evil
dent that when it is lone Mormon
power will be broken. A part Of the
Mormon population will then be citi-
gems of Nevada, and will be there only
. minority OF the whole State, and
part will become citizens of Colorado,
aud in a minority there. The main
portion of the Mormon population
would thus become citizens of States
which have already established con-
stitutions and laws, to which the Nor
mons would, of course, be amenable
McGinnis remarks that such a divis-
ion OF Utah and the distribution of its
parts would not only be perfectly le-
gal and proper, but would have the
advantage of new boundaries thai
would be natural instead of artificial.