News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-03-30
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.


Brother Gardner, as the back end OF
Paradise Hall grew quiet, ''was to say
TO you dat de pusson who expects to in
Joy dis life mus make up his mind to
strike de world on de gineral average.
FIe who neglects to do so will meet wild
daily sorrows and disapintments. Doan
expect dat de man who happens to
agree wild you on de weather am sartin
to agree wild you on politicks. 1t doan
foller dat de man who agrees wild you
on politicks will feel bound to accept
your kind of religion. De fack dat you
lend a naybur your shovel doan bind
him to lend you his wheelbarrer. He
who looks for honesty whar he finds
gray hairs, will be as sadly disapinted
as he who argues dat an old coat am de
sign OF thief or beggar. Put faith
in human natur', an yet be eber ready
to doubt.
81 expect to meet about so many
mean men in de course of a var.
''I expect de summer will be hot an
de winter cold.
81 expect to have chilblains in
December an shakes of de ager in
April.
81 expect dat a sartin per cent. of
dis worlds populashun will lie to me,
steal my cabbages, frow stones at my
dog an hit me wild brickbat as 1 go
home from de lodge.
''On de odder hand, when 1 come to
strike de average, kin put my hand on
men who will lend me money, go on my
bond, speak well of me an sot up all
night to protec' me.
mo man am perfeck. He may strike
you at fust sight as very good or very
bad, but doan decide until you average
him. He may beat street kyar COM
pany an yit be honest wild a butcher.
He may crawl under de canvass to see a
circus, an yit pay his pew rent in ad-
vance. He may lie to you as TO how he
voted, an yit tell de truf about spav-
ined hoss. He may cuss on de street,
an yit be tender father at home. He
may inccurage a dog fight, an yit walk
a mile to restore los chile to its par
ents.
"Accept no man fur his fine talk-re-
iect no man fur lis old clothes; stand
him out in de sunlight an average him.
You will be sartin to fin sunthin' bad
about him, but you will also be sartin
to fin sunthin' good"
Sc m Too Whit - In
dis evening"" softly inquired the Presl-
dent as the hush came.
eyes, sab, answered a voice from
'he back end of the room, and Brother
White made his way to the platform
With look of puzzled wonder on his
ace. !
" Construction White" continued the
President, after drawing long breath,
understan' dat you have become a '
"EI-I dunno, sab, stammered the
rother.
"l understan' dat you claim to be
BILE to lift mo- wild your teef dan any
'dder man in America. One of de local
papers says dat you kin lift $50 pounds
vid you jaws, and dat you kin sustain
'our own weight seben minits by cotch-
n strap in your mouf."
CT 'spects dat's so, sah."
"Brudder White, dis club doan' go
,ent on champions. Champion rowers
I'M simply crooks. Champion wrestlers
I'm only loafers wild clean shirts on. De
champion runner am, sooner or later, an
innate of de workhouse. De champion
walker walks away from his bod bill.
Show me so-called champion and I'll
how you bad citizen. Brudder White, :
you am man wild an iron jaw?"
eyes, sah.'
"Use dat jaw properly an men will
press you. You have wide field befo
you. You kin help to tear down houses
yld dat jaw. You kin tow schooners up
IN down de ri5ber wild profit to yerself
IN pleasure to commerce. You kin help
lie firemen-you kin aid de police-you T
iced have no fear of bitin' off mo- dan
7ou kin chaw. Do dis quietly an mod
,stly, an widout any BLOWN of hons
Bite honestly when you strike a rail-
'oad spike, an chaw ON de squar' when
you git hold of a piece of sheet-iron.
Do dis an we shall be glad dat you are {
.mong us. Start out as champion,
m off goes your name from our books.
You kin now return to your seat an
Lnalyze yer thoughts, an decide what
course you will adopt. "-Detroit Free l
Press.