South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-12-15
Life in the Metropolis.
Special Correspondents.
New YoRK. Nov. IS. 1882.


clear crisp days and beautiful lights
as We had IN the idss Of November.
And then for Thanksgiving We had an
OLD fashioned enow storm, which has
been followed by all the terur implies
here IN the metropolis. 'Besutiful snow
makes mistake when it comes (. New
York. 10 the country it arranges il
| self in long white street ches, With occa-
sionly slight elevation. until It rem india
one OF great. fau!tiess dinner table
, before the era OF decorated china came
in; but in New York there 10 no such
dead samensss. The snowfiak tum-
bles down as airy and neat an newly
dedged broker entering tie Stock sx.
| Change; but its conceit, like his, is
taken down with great rapidity. No
sooner does IL reach the ground than
one foot after another tramples it out
OF shape. it finds itself in jumhIe of
cipar stumps, gutter mad and general
sweepings; . horses hoof passes il to
/ a cartwhesl. a uamp's shoe carries II
into rum shop, it u kicked from side
walk TO street an from street back to
sidewalk, until fnally it 10 OF about t q
color and consistency OF the mud it
| tries tn hide. A few hours after SNOW
has fallen q native OF the tropics, if
sud ienly brought 10 New York, could
| see nothing unusual in the streets ex-
cept much dirt that is almost sloppy e.
| uough to be called mu1.
Among the figures often seen about
tie corridors Of the Fifth. avenue Hotel
is that OF Henry w. Shaw known to
fame as Josh Billings.' Every man
woman and child has heard OF him, but
every one does not know what manner
OF man lie il, that bis quair, philoso-
ply hidden beneath such wIetched or
biography Is the quint essence of world
| ~ wisdom gathered from the expert
ences of n lite that has known oil the
ups and downs aud the j,ys and sor-
rows OF huC an existence. There are
few more serious men than Josh Bill
| iihgs. For several months this summer
he was Invisible, but lately he reap.
peared in his old haunts. When | saw
him few days ago he looked TO me
more like Edward Everett Hale. the
Unitarian minister, than ever. His
| long. dark locks fell upon his round
shoulders from beneath broad brim-
met hat, aud turned forward anier his
ears. His beard, which is becoming
quite gray, VAS trimmed closely TO his
face. Tue color OF his skin re embed
that OF an Indian, aud his jaws, which
are usually angular, wero we'll rounded
out. lie didn't remain more than u
minute or two in one place, but would
stalk around with hi. peculiar tony, gi.
AIT stride, swinging his long arms. In
conversation tho philosopher talks 1u-
emily. and not mt all as you ould nat
urally expect him To. lie makes you
laugh frequently. but no does not even
smile himself. lie is all the time as
solemn "a an owl. His earaestne-s is
simply phenomenal. ia makes many
ges ures With his great hands, anil fire
qnenily. leans towards you and taps you
on the arm or shoulder with his fore
finger. II is surprising how many pea.
pie be knows. Almost every second
man who camo in the hotel he spoke to.
In reply To my inquiry he said: i
have lately returned from summer
trip There ISN'T hair turned on the
nolses We started last May-my
wife and Ito drive through New Eng
land and Cannds. Mrs. J. Il did The
driving. II you want to see the coun-
try. % that way. and you'll see it, We
won't for smus mcnt ind recreation.
Whenever VIC arrived in a town We were
immediatei surrounded bv crowd
We'll, boys | would say, III you mus,
have it. get ball and Ill read you NV
lecture They were not long in get
ting a room ready. 'rhe same old lee.
ture 'fhe Probabilities OF life Tha,
lecture 10 twenty years old. Its name
has bean changed several tunes, but
people don't know it. Did you ever
see anything that had such wonderful
Vitality 1t IS made up OF small para
graphs. without the sIi !htest connec
ton between them; so that l can he
gin with the toll as we'll as the head
and read back wards DO you ever va
~ your style2' Il can't write anv q.
lher way. With Tue everythjnI mist
be put in two or three lines. Az soon
as attempt 30 expand the idea it be-
comes o weakened that it is good fer
nothing do you sit down and study
your aphori-ms outf' NO. They come
to me spontaneously. ] mag be walk
ing down Broadway. or in an omnibus,
on n train, or talking here to you. when
| days, however, before ] determine the
exact form they shall have Mr.. j. -.
| took out note book in which h had
| jotted down some fresh condensed wis
! dom an hour before The ink vas not
dry. Tie last line reSi: Kindness is
an instinct; politeness ONLY an art
What is your definition If bumot?' /
inquired. 'IIumor must be based on
truth no replied. tapping me with his
foro0nger and drawing ii back 1T is
because q thing is ludicrous and at the
same time true t. nature that people
laugh at it.. Nov Artemus Ward was
not u humotist. but he was the drollest
man the country has ever roluced
Writer'S who make their effects ny IL, %
perbole are not bunorists Genuine
bumVr lasts forever, because IL is trUe
! You soon tire Of hearing n man tell stu.