The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-02-24
HUMoRS D. rHr NV


WHEN wild cattle get loose,
apt to suffer from hist-steria. ne are
To FIND lawyer who charges only q
nominal fee certainly is phenomenal
WHO ever saw a woman use a hammer
TO drive tack when a fiat iron was
handy.
Stop the pressi the editor franti-
ca tiy shouted to the young fellow who
was hugging his sweetheart. Esntfrd
Free Press.
told man that asked for two twos that
this was not an aesthetic postofice Is
now looking for new situation.-De-
troit Free Press.
CHEESE il, said the rat to the trap.
will," said the trap, and with
baited breath / await your coming"
All right, responded the rat, and
III wire You the result. ."-NesO Jersey
hhterprise. -
PERHAPs in 900 years hence, there
VIII come man to Chios to make exca-
vations in tine ruins of the destroyed
towns, and make ont of an old. broken
barber-cup and three broken chairs the
statue of the Apostle Paul. Puck.
So yoU are going to lecture ?" in
quired friend of q musical professor re-
Gently. "What on ?' Well, if am
entirely sober. on my feet, was the re-
! ply. That's wrong" was the response;
never give superficial talk on large sub
jects."
MAYBE you can bat over the pyramids
with tallow candle, but you can't con-
vince woman that the railroad men are
not brutal because they won't keep q
train waiting for her to kiss her friends
and say goodbye" for the twentieth
/ time
81 A HAED case Mr. Maloony-" Now,
flook her, Bridget, I can ENCORE this; NO
longer. I've wore that little Ships shirts
patiently for months and months and
now ye'ye got 10 get the washing for a
longer armed man or get @ shorther-
armed husband"
He slipped quietly in at the door, but
catching sight of an inquiring face over
the stair rail, said: ''Sorry SO late, my
the cars were full, too" said the lady;
and further remarks were unnecessary.
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
A RAILROAD man met with painful
accident the other evening. He had
just emptied one schooner of beer, and
was in the act of reaching for another
when his wife appeared Unexpectedly
upon the scene. He was caught between
the bumpers with the usual result
Net0 York Graphic.
HIRAM GREEN was Juggling up coal
when he stubbed his toe and feb, causing
him to accidentally let slip cuss word.
"Aint you 'shamed of yourself Where
do you expect you'll go to when you
die?" asked his wife. ITO a place
where 1 shan't have to lug coal, by
thunder - and he continued on
Whitehall Times.
"SAY, boy 70 called woman to bare.
foot lad, and admonishingly shaking @
re-finger, ''what are you throwing
water on that cat fur ?" "The water
won't hurt the cat fur" replied the
youth, and the woman, whose grammar
was rebuked, said she didn't want any
of his ''sass. "-NorT-istot0n Herald.
THE class in natural history was be-
fore the examining board, and had beer
answering questions as to the use o.
various domestic animals. when one o.
the examiners, simple-minded farmer
very fond of fishing, puzzled the pupils
by asking: What are eels for?" No
body appeared to know until lad OF
one of the back seats said 90 think
can guess" "Well, go ahead" replied
the examiner What are they for.
ITO skin," was the answer brooklyn
Eagle.