The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-08-08
Sense and enopse,1se.

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An old Spanish proverb says that "a
kiss without mustache is like bread
without olives"
A little Southern boy when asked if his
father had good mule replied mourn
fully, "One end of him is good"
Somehow people who say they enjoy
thunder shower always want somebody
to be present to enjoy it with them.
Weakness is the egotism of goodness.
When one hope departs the other hopes
gather more closely together to hide the
gap it has left.
A judge has recently declared that a
mans residence is where he gets his
washing done. This is rough on the
average bachelor.
When the teacher asked, "What peo-
pie live the longest ?" little fellow at
the foot of the class promptly spoke up:
"Barnum's giants"
Arab Bey's temper is truly awful.
Egypt has seen no such display Of un-
seemly passion since Mrs. Potiphar tore
off Joseph's coat tail.
The Rev Mr.. Lyan, of Bridgeport,
preached Sunday night on the National
sin. There was universal exchange of
umbrellas the next morning.
An ambitious man whom you can
serve will often aid you to rise, but not
higher than his knee, otherwise you
might be standing in bis light.
"And what shall I say more ?" asked
the clergyman after an hours holding
forth. And it was noticed that every
mouth In the congregation instinctively
formed itself into the word Amen"
A nice Judge, when asked why he had
allowed a totally unnecessary female
witness to take the stand and testify,
said f: 81 knew that it was not necessary,
but / SAW that she had new bonnet and
was striving to show it.
An old Scotchman attributes the dis.
appearance Of ghosts from the Scottish
moors to the custom OF tea-drinking at
social meetings. It requires Scotch
whisky on top OF old ale to enable q
man to see ghost really worth talking
about.
They shipped lot of mosquito net
ting to Africa. But the natives didn't
take to il. After desperate effort they: de.
cared that it was impossible to chase all
the mosquitoes IN the country under the
net they had put up, so they abandoned
the attempt.
A man at Des Moines kissed his hired
girl by mistake and had to pay $500 TO
settle it. When he discovered what he'd
done be should have sworn he did it on
purpose and she'd have been tickled to
death and worked to keep his wife from
finding it out.
Don't place your elbow upon the table
while eating, it is exceedingly impolite,
Don't take out more on your plate than
you can eat. It is not only extravagant,
but mark of neglected education, no
matter what silly fashion may say, or
6nehaired iguuramrses practice!
A Chicago preacher says all newspa-
pers keep, religious ones should be sup
pressed Once upon time fly on an
elephants ear, resolved that the elephant
should he suppressed. but just as the hy
was wondering how to go about it, the
elephant involuntarily wrinkled up his
skin.
Miss Fox, OF New Orleans. is exceed
ingly satirical. Mr.. Low failed to mar
ry her as he agreed. and she pow cues
him for breech OF promise, claiming
damages in the sum of 81 Mr. Low
must feel so mean over this estimate OF
his value as to regret not having mar
ried the girl.
Pat was sauntering along the street,
when be came upon workmen cutting
down a decayed telegraph pole.-Sur-
veying the operation with look of min
gled surprise and regret, he muttered,
"Begorra, it's too bad; il it kapes an
this way, there'll be no forrist trees lift
in the countbry."
Senator Hill. OF Georgia, says that he
IeSttts uio tuouttsy w opOoN III PuotO
and his approaching death mainly be-
cause of his great desire to give utter
ance to his views on the relations be-
tween the white and black races in the
South He says that be has always been
ip favor of "giving the negro equal and
ex'ct justice, nothing more and nothing
less.
Mr.. Bancroft, the historian, has been
fortv-eght wears writing che History
of the United States, and yet 1t is only
brought down to the election OF the first
President, so careful and painstaking is
his work. Like Gbbon, he is said to
frequently rewrite whole sections which
do not exactly suit him. Though now
eighty-two years OF age, the venerable
historian is still at work, and hopes to
bring his history down to the time of
the Mexican war.