The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-02
The Man without SpectacIes
who went Duck Hunting,
And who got Considerable
Experience, but Nary a
Duck.
Esmeralda at the Opera House
next Wednesday Night.
Run Down by the Cannon
Ball" Train at Carbon
Cliff.
Extraordinary Proposition
from Mr.. Harper to the
Theodore Thomas
Company.
TOM AS A DUCK SHOOTER.

His front name is Tom, he lives in Rock
Island and he used to wear spectacles. The
other day as everybody else seemed to be
preparing for little sport with the ducks
Tom concluded that all would not be well
with him unless he could shoot some. So
he visited store on Second avenue. brib
eG the proprietor to put up some ammu-
milton, and away he went one fine morn
ing up to Dosia Although he knew moth
ing about the country he had a tongue,
and it could wag, and after he left the sta
ton he tackled the first farmer he met to
find out where he would be the least like
ly to get his boots wet and get a good
show of feathers for hls trouble. Here is
the way the old fellow met him, and it's as
true as anything that ever appeared in
did ye2 Well. you be green for fact. What
kind did We expect to shoot, anyway?
Now, stranger, I'll gin We pinter. Dye
see that yeller house on the hill yenders
Well, that's my house and down in the
holler, back NV my house there's pond,
an that pond is full NV ducks, an themis
my ducks. too. an by the great horned
spoon eff you shoot any Nv them ducks III
fill the slack Nv your brooches with such
load of bird shot as IL hold you down snug
to the ground eff cycloue nd strike We.
But my good man. began Tom, 81
didn't come here to kill your ducks, or any
other tame ducks, I'm after wild ones and
I would like to know where I would be
likely to get the most sport for the least
trouble
90, you're after sCiJd ones, be We" with
particular emphasis on the word wild.
81 thot, mebby you was one o. them Rock
Island House chaps who don't care aconti
mental what they shoot eff it can only fly
One on 'em kim up here last fall an when
caught him in my orchard on his hands
and knees jest stuff1n' my strawberry
apples into his pockets an game bag, he
whispered, softly, my good man, they're
close by / was so mad at his tryin' to beat
me twice, once a stealth NV my apples an
then pretendin' that he was a goin to
shoot somethin' that I jest grabbed him,
dumped my apples out Nv his bag, an the
way histed him over the fence was eau
ton. | reckon he busted sumthin' or
'nuther when he was goin' over cause
when he landed on 'tother side he jumped
up an holdin' onto his close with one
hand he shook his fist at me an yelled you
dammold granger eff ever kitch you in
Rock Island III wallop suthin, q thot he
said the bad place where the wicked co.,
out Nv you an don't you forgit it. l
haint forgot it, either, but I'd like to ketch
hsm around my primises agin. reckon
he'd get his share Nv the wallopin."
Tom says that after thus delivering him
self the old fellow took him up to the
house and set up the buttermilk. He then
hitched up and took him to the country
where he said ducks is as thick as flies in
July" but after tramping around awhile,
and shooting nothing Tom came home, re-
GREETING to this very day that he didn't
knock over some of them tame ducks