Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
HINTS TO A YoUNG EDITOR.

HINTS TO 4 YOUNG EDITOR.
There are an astonishing number of
people who imagine that the editor is al
way suffering for something to fill up
with. One of these would-be patrons of
the press will stroll into a sanctum, with
something under his arm about the size
and shape of bottle wrapped up in an
old paper, and, with the air of philan-
thropist bestowing aims on mendicant,
will drawl out: ST thought you needed
something to fill up on, so I have just
brought you something good to put in
your inside" IF the editor is green
hand, and has just started In the bust
ness, he interprets the remark of the
would-be patron to mean that the pack
age under the intruder's arm is some
thing good to eat or drink, and is intend
ed for the inside of the editor. Under
this pleasing delusion, the green editors
face lights up with happy smile, and
he reaches out for the nourishment, re-
marking: 81 am very much in need of
something to fill up with, and there is
plenty of room on my inside for anything
good you have got"
The visitor, not catching on, replies ::
81 am glad to hear you say so. Please
print this manuscript sermon of the
Rev. John Wesley Baxter, my deceased
uncle, who was recently eaten alive by
the heathens on one of the South Sea
islands. The sermon will fill up four or
five columns of the inside of your valua-
BILE paper very nicely. You can give me
100 copies, and I'll not make any charge
for the sermon. Next week I'll help you
fill up with a biographical sketch of
myself"
Now is the time for the editor to act.
If he hesitates he is lost. If the would
be patron is small man, perhaps the
best policy is to knock him down with
his I1ncle's sermon, and cavort about on
his PROSTATE body, after which anoint
the scoundrel by pouring the contents of
the ink bottle and the paste pot over his
miserable head, and telephone for q po-
iceman to drag him out. That course
may not make your paper popular with
the intruder, but it will give it a boom
with the general public who know him,
and save you much, annoyance in the
future.
If you do not desire to resort to such
extreme measures, owing to the size Of
the would-be contributor, take the
manuscript, look over it, count the
pages and the number of lines on each
page, multiply them together, and then
multiply the product by 25 cents line.
After you have done that, add $40 for
loss of time in entertaining the fend who
wants to fill up your inside with manu-
script sermons, and tell him you will
publish his effort when the cash is forth
coming, and not previously.
The young editor who does not adopt
one of these courses is lost. If he tells
the would-be patron that he will publish
it at some future day, he will do as did
the patient boy who was sent to borrow
some clabber from neighbor, and was
told the milk had not soured. The boy
complacertly took a seat and replied {:
"Then I'll wait until it does"
Never make the excuse that the con-
tribution is too long to appear in your
paper, for, if you do, he will sit down,
borrow your scissors and pencil, and cut
it down to suit, or rather not to suit you.
The only way to prevent your paper
from becomlnga debilitated orphan asy-
lum for the feeble, crippled and insane
literary offspring of every scribbler in
the country is to adopt. at the begin
ming, one of the methods we have sug-
gested. The success of newspaper
depends as much on what is kept out of
its columns as on what appears in it,
Teas Ssftings.