The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1882-03-30
The individuality of the Wife.

The Individuality OF the Wife.
Few women, however loving and self
sacrificing, if they are endowed with
sound sense and judgment, fully yield
up, in the secret recesseS of their own
hearts, all their pre-conceived ideas and
theories to their husbands. A man
would despise a woman who did -ex-
cept when it was by his own dictation.
But wives may learn to keep silent, and
in their daily intercourse make no at
tempt to argue or dispute, whatever
their convictions may be. 1t may not
be heavy cross to a devoted wife to
submit, and allow her husband t shape
her life not in accordance with her own
natural tendencies but to suit his own
tastes and wishes. No sensible woman,
however, so far loses her own indi-
vidualitv, and becomes so like wax in
her husbands hands, that her heart
does not often whisper to itself: 9 Docs
he ever remember that / am, although
his wife, a responsible being that /,
not my husband. at the last day, must
stand or fall according to what l have,
individually. done with the talents in
trusted to me alone, not to him? If he
endeavors to mold my acts, wishes and
aspirations in accordance with his own
pleasure or judgment-if on that dread
day they should not be approved, viii
he then be willing to answer for them,
and have me as irresponsible as he wished
me to be in my daily life?"
No woman can be as happy as God
intended mar riage should make her If
her husband S love is mainly manifest
ed by government. That is word that
should never be shown in word or act
never enter the heart between husband
and wife. The best and purest ele-
ments of a wOman's character can
never be so fully developed and
brought into constant uniform action, as
by the love, confidence and tenderness
of her husband. If he gives this from
heart full of manly, loving courtesy,
he will find a rich reward in such joy
and comfort as only happy woman $
thoughtful care can bestOw, while her
heart sings grateful praises to her
Heavenly Father who has made her life
so blessed.
But if the husband expects his will to
be the controlling motive for his wife S
conduct, God be merciful to house
thus governed. This course is not
usually called will, but is spoken of as
his ''rightful authority as head of the
| house, a better sounding expression,
/ but, nevertheless, those four letters ex-
/ press the same thing, and the wife, in
! her uspoken thought will so understand
! it. She may love her husband devoted
/ ", and in her youth and inexperience
| ina CINE that the sweet attention, the
/ tender counting of the eng agement
days, must not be looked for when
mar riage has united and made the
twain one. United! One! What a
mockeryi
| 1t is Just this assumption of rule, OF
| dominant power, that rObs so many
homes of the glory and blessedness that
/ should be only one step removed from
! Heaven. If all could fully realize the
true difference between the service rem
/ dered by woman to authority and that
poured out increasingly, spOntaneously,
! for love, what n difference would be
| found in many homes! No duty can be
/ hard, no toll oppressive. A wife s
whole life is gladly, joyfully poured out
| for the comfort of him whose every
word and act tell her she is precious in
his sight; not useful or valued simply
| because she is convenient, but that she
is truly beloved. If the husband, from
his heart, without condescending or as
a mere act of pOliteneSs, seeks her Opin-
ion or approval, shows that he respects
her Judgment, and in just fulfillment OF
the marriage VOW hOnOrs and cherisheS
her, what words can reveal all that she
win be, quietly and without pretense, tc
her husband and her children? His love
thus manifested will be to her a tower
of strength, a strong fortress to shield
and shelter her, so that all trials vii
have lost their sting. Pain, toll anc
anxiety will be met patiently, for loving
attentions and tender words will give
unfailing strength. He has no faith II
that kind of love that is too proud t.
give it expression. A wOman's hear
wants words as well as acts, and Otter
repeated too.
4" For love win die. if tits not fed;
And the true heart cries for its daily bread
A home governed by such influences
is to home governed by man author
ity as a person to a machine. One i
life; the other only mechanism. A wife
governed may have bread just as light
and a home just as tidy, as one guided
not governed; but the latter will give
to her home and her husband Joyous
ness, a brightness and devotion that the
first cannot counterfeit. Her heart !:
made so full of happiness that it shine:
through every act The humblest house
hold duties have for her richness anC
pleasure mex pfeSSlDheS IOF Is IL HOG hel
offering to him whose care and love
have made her life so rich and happyi
In such homes-and we verify believe il
rests more with husbands than will
wives to build them up-the thought o.
supremacy never intrudes. Marriage il
such homes is a true union, each mutu
ally helping the other, bound together
with united love and confidence. The
husbands manifested by unremitteC
care and tenderness. the wife's as j:
woman's nature, by that devoted serv
ice which is most happy in ministefin2
to the comfort and pleasures of her house
hold.-Mrs. H. W. Bcecher, tn Christian
Union.