davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
ANl, s

KINDER close, is she? Close? Why,
last month her husband died-fourth
husband, mind-I'm blamed if she did
not take the door-plate off the front
door, had his age added, and then nall
ed it on the coffin. Said she guessed
likely she'd be wanting a new name on
the door soon, anyway"
Has hands, but they toll not-a clock.
Has feet, but they walk not-a rule.
Has lows, but she corns not-a tug.
Has eyes, but sees not-potatoes. Has
ears, but hears not-corA. Has legs,
but walks not-a chair. Has knees,
but prays not-a ship. Has teeth, but
eats not-a saw. Has a tongue, but
talks not-a wagon.
An Irishman having accidentally
broken a pane of glass in a window was
making the best of his way out of sight,
but, unfortunately for Pat, the proprie-
tor stole a march on him, and. having
seized him by the collar, exclaimed,
"You broke my window, fellow, did
you notp" $40 be sure L did," said
Pat, "and didn't you see me running
home for the money to pay for itp"
Did you ever observe how charmingly
real and smooth the frizzes and scallops
of hair lie upon the foreheads of young
womenP Did you ever wonder how they
could could fix them up so nicely and
make them look so nicely? Well, they
don't fix them. That has already been
done at the hair stores, where they
bought 'em already fastened to a string
and ready to be plastered right on.
A man went into a drugstore and
asked for something to cure a headache.
The druggist held a bottle of hartshorn
to his nose, and he was nearly overpow-
cred by its pungency. AS OOH as he
recovered he began to rail at the drug
gist and threatened to punch his head.
But didn't 1t help your h~eadache?"
asked the apothecary. "Help my head
ache!" gasped the man. 81 haven't
any headache. It'smy wife that's got
the headachel"
Too literal: 81 see, " said Mrs. Brown,
k"that in this boat race the Scudamores
took water first. Poor fellows! how
thirsty they must have been; but what
do they put it in the paper for?" at
doesn't mean that" jerked out Brown.
Doesn't mean that?" said Mrs. B.,
"then what does it mean?" Why"
said Brown, sit means-why, it means
that they were the first to take water,
that's all. You women can never I'M
derstand anything" 1.-THE idea of let
ting women vote!" said Brown at the
club that evening.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

Z It~was a man at one of our restau-
rants last Wednesday night. He was
sitting ut a table digesting that hallu-
cinating dream-that mockery of res
taurant mockeries-a modern oyster
stew. Calling the white-aprcned darby
to his side, he pointed down into the
dish and said:
This thing must be investigated. 1t
appears that you have given me an oys-
ter stew with an oyster in it. Come,
this is hardly fair. AndI am a stranger,
too"
'Hey?" asked the puzzled waiter.
81 repeat, you have given me, an
oyster stew with an oyster in it. Must
l pay anything extra for the oyster?"
"No-why-"
"Well, that's all right; Tn glad of
it." smiled the stranger, Strengthening
up. 'Only, 1 don't see how you can
make any money if you put an oyster in
the stew. Well, it beats me how you
can afford to do it. 1 suppose you'll be
putting chickens in chicken salad, ham
in ham sandwiches, and veal in veal pie
next Then you'll be SO rash as to give
q man a clean napkin, besides putting
vinegar in the vinegar castor when it's
run out. You folks will bust up with
kindness if you're not careful."- VII
Transport BREAKFAST Table.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

My dear young lady, l want to speak
TO you about your mother. 1t may be
you have noticed a careworn look upon
her face lately. OF course it has not
been brought there by any act of yours,
still it is your duty TO chase it away.
Get up early tomorrow morning, and
prepare breakfast, and when she comes
down and begins to express her sur
prise, kiss her into silence. She will
leave one of these days. Those bur-
dens, if not lifted from her shoulders,
will break her down. Those rough,
hard hands that have done so many I'M
necessary things for you will be crossed
upon her ~lifeless breast, Those neg
lected lips that gave you your first baby
kiss will be forever closed, aud those
Fad, tired eyes will have opened in
eternity, and then you will appreciate
YOUR mother, but it will be TOO late.
There, there, don't cry; she has not left
you yet. She is down in the kitchen
Btringing beans for dinner, and if you
feel so badly you might go down and
finish them, and let her change her dress
and rest an hour before dinner. And
after dinner you might do up the dishes
while she takes a little nap. Then you
might take down her hair and do it up
Tor her. Perhaps the young man in the
parlor is not quite willing to wait until
you have performed these duties. If he
expresses any impotence, you may ex-
plain 10 him that you feel under more
obligations to your mother than you do
10 him. If this does not seem to satisfy
him ask him how many times he has got
mp in the middle of the night TO warm
peppermint for you when you were dy-
Ing with the collie, or how many hours he
has carried you up and down the room
Just because you would not be quoted
n any other way. Ask him to repeat
Mother Hubbard backward, and if he is
unable to do it, it will be a proof posi-
live that he is not the one that has re-
peated it, and explained it to you,
seventeen hundred times. Then polite
ly show him out and 90 and help your
mother to pick currants for jelly; you
will not lose him; he knows that q good
daughter makes a good wife.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
Square Miles in States.

Correcting the prevalent errors exist
ing in relation to the area of the sever
nj States and Territories in the Union,
the new census shows that New York is
smaller than North Carolina by over 81
900 square miles, and has nearly 10, 900
less than Georgia, the Empire State of
the South. Rhode Island holds her own
with l, $50 square miles, and Texas with
her fertile 265, 900. The "eyes of Della
ware" cover 2 ,150 and the center of the
Federal Government-the District of
Columbia, 70. The total area of square
miles in the United States, not count
ing Alaska, is 3,025, 600, or 1914 less than
the old estimate.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
Suspicious Symptoms.


A minister who vas perhaps not too
careful in his habits was induced by his
friends to take the t~eetotal pledge. His
health appeared to suffer, and his doc
tor ordered him to take n glass of
punch daily.
''Oh," said he, 81 dare not. Peggy.
my old housekeeper, would tell the
whole parish"
when do you shaver" tho doctor
asked.
'In the morning"
Then" said the doctor. 'shave at
night; and when Peggy brings you up
your hot water, you can take your
glass of punch just before going to
bed"
The minister afterward appeared to
improve in health and spirits. The
doctor met Peggy. soon afterward and
said:
'Pm glad to hear, Peggy. that your
master is BETTER
.Indeed. sir, he's better. but his
minds affected; there's something
wrang wi his mind"
"HowP"
.'why, doctor, he used to shave at
night before going to bed, but now he
shaves in the morn, he shaves before
dinner, he shaves after dinner. he
shaves at night-he's aye Shawn"
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

We will send DIR. Dyes Celebrated
Electro-Volt Belts and other Elec'
trio appliances, on trial for thirty days
to young men and older persons wit
are afflicted with Nervous Debility,
Lost Vitality, ETC., guaranteeing speedy
relief and complete restoration of vigol
and manhood. Also for Rheumatism
Neuralgia, Paralysis, Liver and Kidney
difficulties, Ruptures, and many othel
diseases. Illustrated catalogue sen
free. Address Voltaic Belt Company
Marshal, Mich o29daw1y
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
Weekly Leader,
ISSUED EVERY THURSDAY:
Terms, ~. so a Year. sI.S0 Half Year.
Commercial Job Printing
UKD 4 THURSDAY:

or every kind Neatly. Chesply and EIpedi-
tiously executed. Cards Of every shape and
kind. Bill Heads, Letter md Note Headings.
Blanks OF every kind. Posters, etc. printed
on short notice. Having q new lot OF y
and Presses, we can do handsome work at
Low Prices.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

Tin either stage, whether
primary, secondary or
tertiary, are an invalu-
able remedy. They never
fail to cure when direc-
tions are followed. Price
50 so per box. Five boxes
$40. Sent by mail, pre-
paid, on receipt OF price.
Address, DR.. Clarke
Medicine Company, B5S
Broadway, New York
TttU
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

J 1t has been proven that the peacock
hasn't q bit of vanity about him. He
simply displays what God gave him,
and that's no more than the turkey
docs.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC RY


10 ANIo
Its main line runs from Chicago to Council
Bluffs, passing through Joliet, Ottawa, La SAFE,
Geneseo, Moline, Rock Island, Davenport, west
Liberty, Iowa City, Marengo, brooklyn
Des Moines uhe capital OF Iowa. stuart AIl aIn
Junction to Peoria; Wilton function to hiusca-
tine, Washington, Fairfield Eldon. ,Belknlp,
CentreVilie. Princeton, Trenton. Gallatin. CAME
Washington to Sigourney. Oskaloosa. and KNOX
Vile; Keokuk to Pennington, Bonaparte, Beh-
tonsporL Independent, Eldon. OttuinwaI EDDY
willie, Oskaloosa, Pella. Monroe, and Des MONIES;
Molnes to Indianola and Winterset: Atlantic 70
Griswold and Audubon: and hyoca TO Haflah
and Carson. This is positively the, onIy ,hal-
road; Shirhao oM ynts t Inu SAFE 3Ptsi ~ Kansas'
Through Express Passenger Trains, with Pull
man Palace Cars attached. are run each waydally
between CHICAGO and PEORIA. KANSAS CITY.
sos. Through cars are also run etwee Milwau-
nee and Kansas City, via the /" milwaukee, aud
Rock Island Short Line"
Tho "Great Rock Island" Is magnihcently
equipped. Its road bed is simply perfect, and its
track Is laid with steel rails.
What will please you most will be the pleasure
of enjoying your meals, while passing over the
onr magnificent Dining Cars that accompany all
Through Express Trains You get an entire
meal. rs good rs is served In any hTst-ciass hotel
for seyenty-hye cents.
people prefer separate apartments for different
purposes land the immense passenger business
Of this line warrantinR itl. we are pleased toan-
nounce that this Company runs Pullman Palace
CouSCiL BLuFFs, KANSAS CITY, A
Tickets via this. Line, known As the
nil Ticket Agents In the United States
For not o~btainable at
L., II. GABLE,
ves IraIdshs add General Manages.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
4 BLESSING TO WOMANIXIND.

Relieve all diseases OF wO-
man peculiar to the APP
pearnnce and cessation OF
the menses, uterine dis
Iturbances, torpidity Of
functions, with leucOr-
lrhna, d~ismenorrhgR, and
lhysterla, also in melan-
lcholia and other mental
arrangements. Afford
prompt RELIEF to those
distressing bearing down
pains so peculiar 10 wo-
linen. Price, 81 per box.
lSent free by mail on re-
Iceipt Of price. DR.. Clarke
Medicine Company, B5S
broadway, New York
IrItv
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
NyALUABLE REMEDY.

For weakness of the Kid
neys and Bladder. A
quick and complete cure
lin 4 to s days of all URN
AIRY affections, smartlng,
frequent or difhcult urin-
lation, mucous discharges
and sedimentin the urine
from whatever cause IN
Iduced, whether of recent
or long standing. one 70
three boxes usually SUM-
Client. Price 81 per box
b boxes for IS. Mailed
free on receipt OF price
Address, DR.. Clarke
Medicine Company. 10
Broadway, New fork
ITTtv
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

nj LfUeI
Anr IT,. q
VIZ H~heuhndttSIh
DroDsu. Heart Dis
-.
ease, Btta0tGsneSS, Nervous OeO1HtJ, etc.
mn. ~ ppupny uxnuuu NJ,
go 900 DnTTI &c
1<,OOO,OOO LIZ LIN
sOID SINCE 1870
~
This ,Sur,tD nOssesses Ynrie1 PrsDerttes.
IL stinnuiaLes tue 5tSalne an aTths
r ~ 10 4 daSn,ancv IN IN Ptyoltpe
roo Haa me- %Efnd ISL sonring eftSe rood IN The
stomacn: II the mealcine Is taken aaaS !.
aIeiy a..eI ea'ins the 10
Psso.sou. r
acts UPON ~ ~ iHnsSn.
- Ipon the anwes
n IN daa 9ba pInoJ
1917 n eN y -
II Promotes Digestion.
1t Nourishes, Strengthens and Invigorates.
1t carries on the Old Blood and make new.
1t opens the pores of the skin and induces
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

SLEEPING Cars for sleeping purposes. and Palace
Dining CdTSfOT eating purposes only. Oneother
great feature of our Palace Cars Is n
SALOON where you can enjoy your Havana
Magnificent Iron Bridges span the Mississippi
and Missouri rivers ut all points crossed by ms
line. and transfers are avoidedh az Council bluns'
Kansas city. Leavenworth and Atchison, con-
%nectious being made in Union Depots.
The principal X. H. connections OF
this great Through Line are ns follows;
AT CHICAGO, with all dlYerging lines Tor the
At EsGLEw0oD, with the LIS. & MS, and p.
At WASHINGTON HEIGHTS. with P, c. list.
Al La SALE with III. Cent. r. R.
w; Iii. Md; and T, p. a "; Rds;
At ROCK ISLAND, with "hllwaukee and kock
4 DAYENPoRr with the Davenport Division
AtwEsT LIREETY, with the b. c. R. N.R.R
A. DIS DIS M65INfsS' Win i. n. / F. D. R,R.
BLUFFs. with Union racine XIX:
At OMAHA. with b. & Mo. X. .R.R. I'm Neb)
At COLUMBUS JUNCTION. with
st, L, & Pac, and C., II. and q. II. Rds.
Al KEoRUR with Toll, PEG. & War; " abySt.
Louis & Pac., and ST. l., keo, 4 N w. Il. hds.
At CAMERON, with H.. St J. X. X
AtAToHisoH. with Atch.. Topeka & Santa Fei
Atch. a Neb. and Cen. BT. y. I. x. Rds.
Al LEAyENwoRrH. with Union fac. anc Kan
XtKAssGs CITY. with all lines for tho West
/ through to PEORIA. DIES MONIES,
rCHISON. and LEAYENWORTH.
: Great Rock Island Route are sold by
our home office, address,
Z. ST. JOHN,
GsRsth TsksI And fSssngsg 1872
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
HHEKE rs A BALM IN GILEAD.

For all cases OF sper-
matoTrhra and impot-
ency, as the result of self,
abuse in youth, sexual
Ipxcegses in maturcr
years, or other causes,nnn
producing some of inc
following effects : Ner-
Iyousnoss, Seminal mis-
Is!ons might emissions by
Idreams), Dimness OF
g.. Sight. Defective Mem
DRY, Physical Decay, PIN
piles on Face, Aversion &c
lSocIety OF Females, Con
fusion OF Ideas, Loss o.
Sexual Power, &C., rem
!dering marriage impro'
per or unhappy. Are z
positive cure In 2 to
weeks. One to six boxes
usuaIly sufficient, Pric,
|SI 81 per box. Four boxe'
a, sent by mail, prepaid
on receipt Of price. AZ.
dress, pr. Clarke Medi
cine Company, Cos broad.
waS, New York city.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

Notice No. I6-Applicdtion for Patent 10 eight
petroleum oil claims, embracing 100 acres, k1tOUn
as The jacobson OIL Claims.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24

The finest of Printing done at this
office. Call and see samples. II
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-02-24
Eor scrornIa or any nIood DIsorder

DIR. Clarlke's
AntI-SyphiIit
Pills.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25
TELEGRAPHIC
washington Adv ces.

Warrington, 24.-Manfred Burrell
hes been appointed store keeper for the
First District Of California.
Sefior Barea.- Spanish minister, held 8
brilliant rece; ton at his residence here,
last evening, VI honor OF King Alfoneo's
birthday. All foreign legations were
Represented, end many prominent
Washingtonians were present, including
Attorney General and Mrs Brewster,
ex-Secretary and Mrs. Blaine, and
others.
The Senate finance committee, to-day,
heard Superintendent Snowden. OF the
Philadelphia mint, in advocacy If the
bill introduced by BAyard o provide for
condemnation for government purposes
Of the remainder of the square on which
the mint is situased. Snowden argued
that the mint should be isolated from
private prOpertr, and that room should
be afforded for the Improvement and ex-
tension Of the building, which hethought
might ultimately be so enlarged as to
enable government 10 di.pense with all
other coinage minis with tn except OF
the one vt San Francisco, and make the
remaining minis simply assay offices and
refnerics. The committee authorized
Bayard 10 report the bull for passage,
with sundry amendments reducing the
amount OF the proposed appropriation 10
$3.50, 600.
Senator Keliopg introduced bill. to-
day, 10 C cate the oregon Short Line
Railroad Company in Utah, Idaho and
Wyoming.
The House Judiciary committee, eight
to tour, sdonttd the proposition to pay
from the Geneva aw~Id losses by sex
culpated schconers," and pay war pre-
miums, and not refer the question to the
court Of claims. or pay insurance COM
psnies.
The Senate bill for the relief of Mrs.
Lincoln passed.
Chicago, "a Journals Washington:
The Dakota del gstion has arrived, and
find the prospects for admission as
state good.
shou the jury find Guiteau guilty he
will probably hang within sixty days.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25
Iron and Steel.

Washington, 24.-The House commit
tee OF ways and means, authorized Rep
resentative Mckinley TO report to the
House, with favorable recommendation,
the following bill, fixing the rate of duty
on manufacturers of iron, steel, ETC.:
Be it enacted, That title 80, Revised
Statutes, be amended By adding to the
schedule of said title the following:
Provided, that on all iron and steel, ana
OF all manufactured wares, vessels and
articles of iron or steel, or Of which such
metals or either of them shall be the
component part or material Of chief
value, whether wholly or partially manu-
factured, there shall ba levied, collected
and paid, no less rate of duty than the
rate of duty imposed upon said goods, or
up, any part or material of said goods,
in any of the forms of which it or they
las; existed prior to their passing into the
firm or article on which duty is 10 be
levied. This act shall not apply 10, nor
in any manrer fleet articles 81 ecifcsl!y
enumerated in this title by their COM
mercial designation. but shall apply to
articles designated in this title as manu-
features Of steel or o! which steel snail be
the component part, not otherwise pro-
vided for, steel, in sny form not other
wise provided for, manufactured articles,
vesses and wares. not otherwise provided
for, of iron or of which iron qhAli be the
component material or chief value;
metals unmsnufacturtd, not otherwise
provided for, and castings Of iron not
otherwise provided for.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25

Accounts Kept on the most favorable
terms.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25
BUY AMI. SELL STERLING EXCHANGE

Interest Allowed on Deposits, subject to
Notice OF Withdrawal.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25
To Be Forfeited.

Washington, 24-In the Senate, TO-
day. Talie introduced joint resolution
declaring forfeited. so far rs the same
have not been earned by the fulillment
of their conditions, the land grants 20
twenty-five railroads enumerated by the
bill, including the Northern Pacific, At
lantic and acifc and Texas Pacific.
The estimated quantity of lands granted
to each Of these is set forth in the bills
as respectively 1900 600. $4,000, 600 and
$4,000, COO acres.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25
The ~ arbIers.

Chicago 24.-We shall have next year
in opera Fatti Nilsson, Valeris Gernen,
Lucia and Albani. Contracts have been
signed with all of these artists except
ono
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-25
UTAH CONTRACT con- PAEY

06ics No. 12341l, First South St., Gait
Lake City. P. 0. Rox 431.
Undertake and execute, on tie lowest
e ms and 10 the shortest time, either or All
Of the work of locating. grading, bridging
3 ing, ironing and e9u; Jping Steam n orse
or other RAILWAYS: Locating and con-
struotiBg wagon roads, canals, reservoirs,
aqueducte, dams etc.. laying out and grading
streets, Sidewalks, parade grounds and race
tracks; excavstiDg tor building foundations
cellar dralLs, etc., "a well as every aud all
other kinds - work requiring the removal
earth, gravel, cement, stone ETC.. etc etc
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-09-28
POLITICS AND POETRY.
What the Gentle Shepherds of San Diego
Think of Ochiltree.

Special correspondence of the EVENING LIGHT.
SAN DIEGO. September 20, 1889.
Major Tom Ochiltrce independent candidate
for congress, arrived here yesterday from
Santa Gertruds, where he had been the guest
of Captain Richard King. The major spoke
here last night ut the court house for about
two hours to Il large and enthusiastic audience.
The frequent rounds of applause that greeted
his remarks showed that they were apprcciat-
ed. Toms visit here has curtaed the chances
of the tall Sycamore of the bell punch matcr-
ally. The fact is, that Finlay being nominated
by convention that endorses the taritf-fOr-
revenue plank, gives him too much to str1id-
die. When he tries to start little protective
issue on his own account, it won't go down
with the Shcepmen.
The lack of enthusiasm by the bourbons at
the nomination of Finlay, shows palmer than
words their opinion of the convention, and
Tom Ochiltrce occupies u more enVable posi-
ton to-day, running independently on his mer-
its as friend to the people and their interests.
than if he wore the collar of il doubtful and
mysterious nomination.
The advent of Major Ocniltrce here has
CAUSED quite Il change in his favor and il is
called ''rhc Finay Fmishcrs Finishing Fo-
ray
The following is the opinion of Major Ochil-
tree by prominent shecpmen, got Oft by one of
the number who courts the muses.:
The Red-headed Ranger is out in the West
While Finlay is junkctting, ing Il rest.
The sheepmen declare out here in Duyal
That Tom is the man they will vote for this
fall
For they know the protection of Finlay's Il
ruSe,
And their votes they can put to much better
use,
Putting them solid, untrammclled and free
For West Texas friend Tom Ochltree-
Independent indeed, not the doubtful choice,
Ofa clique where the voters had no voice.
1t is hoped that Finlay will survive to tell
How the tariff and bell punch sounded his
knell
As warning to those who seek political strife
And retire on their ears to private life.
Dinnah We hear the slogan of Ochtee
Its pibrOchs will lead us to sure victory,
The handwriting'S on the wall plain to see,
Sir, I. Ochiltree, NJ. c., Washington, ID. C..
And don't let the men who want to sell their
wool for % cents per pound, forget it !!
San Diego has a crank out here that would
be a valuable adjunct to a Bell punch but it
tried to turn the board Of health, which was too
pOnderous and the crank took II relapse unto
itself. 1t now carries an eliptical lip of Long
| Island manufacture. The condition of the
long sycamore Of the Bell punch will he similar
when the genial, whoe-souled Tom Ochtree
gets through with him in November. Asa.