The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1882-06-14
INGERsOLL. BLAsTED.
A Dramatic Newspaper Walks
Into the Apostle Of Infidelify
and Flags Him Alive!

and Flags Him Alive!
Byrnes' Dramatic Times pays its compli-
ments to Colonel Robert ]. IngerSoll in the
following incisive article under the title OF
"The lnfdel Humbug:"
Ingersoll turns into ridicule all the sa-
cred things which, from association and
tradition, are treated with respect, il not
with reverence, by most men, Christian or
Infdel-and after telling funny stories
about God for two hours, and heaping
hilarious contumely upon everybody who
pretends to have any belief at all, winds up
by telling his listeners that he does not
know whether there is any God OF not
that we are all on the same craft together
without being on speaking terms with the
captain, without knowing what harbOr We
sailed out Of, or what port we are sailing
into-and the only thing We can do is to
have as good time as possible Oh the yoy.
age.
Why rational, sensible human beings
should pay dollar and half to hear this
old epicurean say that, we cannot for the
life Of us understand.
Men may doubt that they have such .
thing about them as an immortal SOUL
Very many intelligent men do doubt it,
But they do not 30 10 the edge OF the
grave to howl it in the ears OF mourners.-
Many may doubt the existence OF per
sonal God-many gifted and honorable
men doubt it. But they do not get up pub
lie exhibitions OF tlleir doubts, and turn
somersaults in the face OF heaven.
Mr.. Ingersoll is in the habit Of referring
to science in vague but laudatory man
ner. Why does lie not trot out little sci
ence occasionally? He has an overpower
ing respect for reason. Why not stimulate
our respects for it by an occasionally exhi
bition Of little Of it?
Ii he is going TO overturn religion and
emancipate the priest-ridden sons Of earth
from the thralldom Of creeds, he'd better
let that ark story and snake story rest, and
get on to some new jokes.
II Christianity is going to be uprooted
with humor, the humor has to be freshen
ed once in six years at least.
Ii mankind is bleeding under the yoke
of the church, it is high time that this high
priest OF hilarity got down to some solid
work, and provided himself with some
new weapons OF emancipation.
We don't believe that he can strike q
single chain from the limbs OF religious
slavery with the sledge hammer OF Illinois
fun. We don't believe that the talk about
science is worth two cents to the bleeding
sons of toll, unless you know something
about it. We don't believe that infidelity
wants an endsman to play a tambourine in
her services.
1t is an irreverent ribald that he makes
his hit. Let him break into the sanctuary
where he can tumble on the mercy seat,
scrawl his humor on the altar rail, and
hang his cartoons on the cross-and he
brings down the house. And great good
God! what house! The sensation seekers
of Sunday night, the debauchees and NOR
alists OF the cafes, whom we sec, on less
secular occasions, standing up in the real
on first nights at the theatres, whose NOR,
al sensibilities are SO outraged at the OBJ.
scenity OF old comedy that they retire in
disgust at the end OF second act, and 60 IN
TO the lccherous dives OF the Sixth avenue
long-haired cranks, wnking and blinking
in the gas-light and blaze OF lngersoll com,
bined; scraggy women, who have free love
instead OF Comclness wrought in the
wrinkles OF their alabaster brows; com.
munists, socialists, agitators, Youngsters
not yet out oil the shell of egotism and au.
dacity; manufacturers oil patent gods and
new systems and fresh religions, with Il
crowd OF belly worshippers and scnsualsts
chiefly anxious to welcome any new apos'
tie who will furnish new defense forthcil
own appctites.
All these clements linked in a Sunday
night brotherhood, by the Aaming doctrine
OF Nohow and Nowhere, and reused to in.
sane unity OF approval by the creed that
virtue consists in not having anything to
believe, and making as much game as poss.
lbIe OF the poor wretch who desires to
have something
A Generous Act.