The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-08-13

Musical Maiden-'I hope | am not
boring you, playing so muchP" Enam-
ored Youth--"Oh, no! Pray 90 ON!
I'D so much sooner hear you play
than talk. "--Panch.
Edison has dropped his electric light,
and is now experimenting TO see if u
COW cannot be made to give Ice cream
by wrapping her in CONCEALED water be-
fore milking,
Physiology: Mother, what have
people got noses forpn asked an Austin
child of her mother who had seen better
days "To turn up at poor folks, my
child" was the cynical.response.
Queen Victoria has a great dignity on
state occasions, land looks every inch
queen" She has been queen so
long that she ought by this time to bear
faint resemblance to one.
She decorated her room with bric-a-
brac and pictures and placed her hus-
bands photo on the topmost nail. Then
she sat down TO admire her work and
blissfully remarked, Now everything
is lovely, and the goose hangs high"
"Violct, dearest, do you play that
tune oftcn?" asked Hugh Montressor Of
his ailianced. yes, pet, and when we
are married III play 1t all the time. H.
Then Hugh went out and shuddered
himself TO death
A fond wife presented her husband
with beautiful suit Of blue cloth as a
New Years gift. She was looking Mt
him one day, when it struck her that
the cloth was fading. Said she: That
suit don't look near as blue as when you
got it.' That is strange, for feel
bluer than ever in it since | got the bill,
| assure you. lchanged color as soon
as / saw il.
We remember once recording the fact
that a little boy said that soda water
tastes like your foot's asleep; but now
comes lad who says that Weiss beer
is thawed sand paper This reminds us
of Yankee on the Pacific Ocean, who
for the first time got mouthiul Of
Chill peppers, When the tears dropped,
he gasped, For the love Of Heaven, no
more pins and needles on toast"
"No one has a right to find fault with
another unless he credits him with his
good qualities. otherwise il would be
keeping books of debt without credit
said Deacon Solum TO Dan Pcltcr, both
residents Of lively little townin Maine.
WAL, then, deacon answered Dan.
"l'll give We credit fur bein' good
smoker, and I'll then hey a right ter
charge We with borrcrin too much ter
hacker of from me.
ii. thi, the place" she asked, As she
wandered down by the fairnont dam,
where ayoung lady beautiful young
laiy fell into the water last season,
aud was rescued by a gallant young
mar, whom she alterward married?'
He looked al her carefully, estimated
her al a square forty-scyen, with false
teeth, and said, Eyes, ma am; but don't
know how to swim
Economy: ut is mousse" exclaimed
Henderson, at the family tea table; 1--WE
must economic. Beet and mutton are
way up, butter and egg, everything, in
fact. Meat once day is all we can AZ.
ford; and, mother, you must give the
children some kind Of cheap sauce to
save in butter. We must cut down ex-
peuses some way" And Henderson
then lights his ID cent cigar and salics
forth to the billiard room, putting out a
matter Of two or three dollars in the
course Of the evening. Boston Tran
script.
She was Just arranging to settle down
comfortably on Alphonso'> shoulder
and AIS eyes were contemplating her
with that rapture which is toe top dress
ing of loving and susceptible nature,
when the par.or door opened and her
youngest brother, the pride and hope Of
the family, poking his head in ex-
claimed, "Sallie, I've got one this time
that You can't guess His sister was
an amiable girl, and always humored
him, so she kindly added, well, Pom
cey, let's have it. Whats the differ
ence," he asked, between you and a
butterfly?' As neither Salle's nor Al
phonso's face betrayed much enthusi-
aSm over the conundrum, Percy fired
off the answer at once "'Cause a but
terAy has powder on its wings, but you
always have it on your face"