The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-05-30

"A man in Indiana wants to know if his wife's
having twenty children is good ground, for I.
Yes, ii he had thing to do with the matter.
Take away women, and what would follow -
asks . writer.
Stag-nation.
How can man live ?-Ex.
| We have known men live 10 good old a.a
seven feet high, and then We have seen others who
an not live more than fourteen minutes who were
only two feet from the ground. 1t is hard to tell
i would not live always care no, to stay III costs
| FIX. '' - i
| The few lurid sun-beams that dawn on Us here
| are too much for "life's shortness; when We pay
| five cents FOR beer.
a correspondent wants to know if the yellow
| fever can be sent by mail.-Ex.
Yes, by paying the regular postage.
IBescher says: 81 enjoy soul-bath in so!:-
That is the most finished way .sf putting it We
ever heard of.
How to make money-Get a situation in the
mint.-Elmira Gazette.
To spend money-Get situation as cashier r
some corporation.
is teacher an artist ?-Ex
We have seen some of them draw salaries 50 &C.
eurately that it would surprise the treasurer hir,
self. The drawing would be faultless To a cent You
can settle the question for YOURSELF we have formed
an opinion.
Emerson recklessly wrote, Every natural
action Is graceful"
But he never an angry woman throw a stop,
at COW.
"A man fell dead recently while singing 'The
sweet BY and By."-Norristown Herald.
This is a mistake. 1t might have been s.Oij
Hundred, but the one hundred thousand Jersey
men who sing and whistle "The Sweet By and BY
are all alive and in full blast
Now, boys, once more for the beer
That is what the undertaken said to the pail
bearers.
They do these things in Canada even better
than do. The creditors of the Canada hotel in
Montreal, we're glad, exceedingly glad, to take ten
ce hts on the dollar.
In America bankrupt hardly ever thinks OF Of
ferng his friends less than thirty. Thirty or
nothing" says he. And they usually get nothing.
An exchange SAYS that ..west Point is a small
Eden, where one finds about twenty Adams to
every fair Eve
Ewes as Adams, with serpent to each, West Point
would be dreadful place for snakes.
The fool awaketh in the morning and hearken-
ing unto the sound thereof saith his heart she IS
preparing the sirloin steak for the Goals that be
Ted-hOt.
But the wise man turneth himself anon and
jOyeth in his soul, for he knoweth that the sound
thereof be the handmsiden pounding out her
liverpad.
Oh, tell me, blue-eyed stranger tell
Who the mischiefs Hotter Nell /?
Soft and low the accents fell,
stranger, am Hotter Nell"
New Madrid Tribune
III some one again the question raises
Say she's cousin of Helen Bsazes
&C. III. Chiffon will deliver ice TO any part of the
;ity.-Barry Adage.
Mr. Chiffon had better contract with some reliable
lealer to serve chunks of warm weather to the
people of Barry before he starts around with his
ce wagon. The good citizens of the town made it
10 hot for Ellis that probably he would prove he
good customer to Mr.. Chiffon in order to cool of
Misfortune is no respector of persons OF cows
Grggsville, ILL.,, Press.
That's what the city marshal says when he runs
,ver sleeping bovine on the sidewalk about mid
night.
The school teacher that is energetic begins TO
want to know where they will find good school
or next wnter.-Grggsville Press.
Vas, and if that bad boy of Tom Jones' is coming
gain Ia cut up and worry the life out of Mrs
smiths Jane, who is a weak and sweet dispositoned
,irl?
There is only one newspaper in the United
+. Sheldon.
Mr.. Sheldon undoubtedly meant the BAzoO by
he above trite saving
M. Damala did not have to court Bernhardt
ong.-Ex.
Well, maybe not; but from what We have heard
4 Bernhardt we wouldn't have thought ''short''
curt would have satisfied her.
One of the leading dailies of Chicago has re-
olved not to notice baseball games hereafter.-Ex
1t probably wishes to reserve all its space for
hurch trials and divorce cases.
If man means what he says he will be de-
iberate in his speech, and state his purpose in
lain, simple fashion.-Ex.
1t probably wishes to reserve all it's space for
hurch trials and divorce cases.
If man means what he says he will be de-
berate in his Speech and state his purpose in plain,
nipple fashion.-EX.
Yes, say he intends committing suicide and do it,
nd not 60 saving the air with razor three times
eek in the presence of his friends, just see what
hey will do.
When an Independence maiden plants three
,r-a-quarter kiss on her best young mans upper
p, she means NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Sentinel.
When a Sedalia maiden plants any kind of kiss
he means business that is-none of your business.
"A machine for grooming horses has been in
ented.-Ex.
The age demands an invention for grooming
rules, and the man that gets one up that will run
backwards as we'll forward shall have as re-
ard copy of the SUNDAY MORNING BAzoO for
year.
An English prisoner who had been bitten BY \
1t tried To simulate hydrophobia and obtain an op-
ortunity TO escape. He crawlad the floor
n ked like dog and became furious when ap-