Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-10
Fun.

It is wise bank cashier who takes no va
cation.
Punch has found man to lazy to labor
| under an impression.
When a Russian is too lazy to scratch for a
living he has himself arrested for nihilist.
Though not muchof conversationalist,
| mute might get along very nicely in a
spoke factory.
Astronomers have discovered red spot
| on the face of Jupiter. Prohibitionists
will please take notice.
A Harlem boy attempted to tie knot in
mules tail. He was good boy, but he
has gone to meet his grandmother.
Among the recent arrivals in Philadelphia
is gorilla preserved in alchol. Although
| dead, the animal is in excellent spirits.
''Why did you hide, Johnny ?" said one boy
to another. Il hide to save my hide" repli-
ed the other, as he hied away to a secure
spot.
Mlnce-pie season is here, and those who
can afford it will now dream of elephants
with four trunks and mules with illuminat-
ed heads.
Venus possesses modern ideas. She will
make rapid transit ON her elevated road
tt. tveling Line 10000 miles across the sun in
SIX hours.
Oscar Wilde, probably owing to his
patent medicine hair, mas been taken on the
streets for Buffalo Bill. Mr.. Bill, it is said,
| intends to shoot him on sight.
a cable dispatch that "a mine was dis
onvara6 in StraaT in ATocco,U Puo-io xuaS
headed by an innocent journalist head
writer as "A bonanza in Moscow
You see, my child, this turtle-one of
| the wonders OF creatiOn-he furnishes the
best combs that are made and yet he can not
| use one, as ne hasn't a single hair to comb"
Said miserable little Cincinnati boy, VINO
had just received scOlding from his father:
| Ma, L wish I'd never been born" why,
| Charley:'' We'll think I'd been better
boy"
Lightning recently struck a telegraph
| pole and ran along wire into the oitic7 at
Coatsviile, Ind, when the clerk seated at
the instrument excitedly telegraphed back.
| Don't send SO fast!'
| Teacher: Define the word excayate.''
| Scholar 1T means to hollow OUT Teach
| Is properly used' Scholar: The baby ex-
| cavates when it gets hurt
1T was terribly oppressive at the theater
| last night" said Brown; iii was SO hot that
| the blood all rushed to my head We'll, 1t
| found pieanty OF room there didn't, it,
| replied the unsy rnpathetic Fogg.
When things come to such pass in idaho
that men are shot oy an angry boarding
house keeper just because they refuse to
eat mis- hsnballs, We don't wonder that
| young Lochinvdr came out OF the west.
| Extract from an Grafton delivered at
| the Inauguration OF a statue 10y NJ. Duclaud
| member for the Charente: Yes, gentlemen,
Radicals was QUE of the men whose form
and face deserves TO be preserved in moi
| ten marble Tor the admiration of pOsterity.
A hotel boaster, who was Wanting his
knowledge Of the world before a crowd OF
| new corners, was asked by wag al mis- Ell
| bow if he had ever been i'll Algebra. .'Oh.
| yes, certainly" said he Il passed through
| there on top Of a stage about year ago"
A young gentleman home for the holi-
| days was talking with an old laborer in his
| fathers grounds, when the old man said:
| 'Ay,ay, sir, It's fine thing is larnin'. There
| was 10 such when l was boy;I was a big
fellow, helpin' the family, when all at once
school broke out"
A ceartain Irish II. P. had been describ-
Ing MS travels in the far west and the wiz
gin forests there. What is virgin for
est:" asked an auditor. .Phwat is virgin
| iorest,i it ye whant TO know: v;rgln for.
est sorr. is one phwere the hand OF man has
nlver set fut, bedad!'
| An editor returning home one morning
about o'clock, was met in the hall by
his vigilant spouse, Alas" she said. that
you have been detained by another break
age Of the press NAY, not So he re pli-
ed; neither has the press broken down nor
hare been detained by getting out the
weekly. but it was small game Of ien cent
ante which hindered me-" Hearing which.
the soul Of Gsorge Washington turned over
| III his grave and muttered silent benedic-
! tlon.
Thomas Charlton hooked his chin over
the prisoners bar al the police court and
regarded las honor with a bland smile.
Thomas. you are charged with being
drunk said the court. - can't deny it,"
said Thomas, grining from ear TO ear.
1Od GCAl SeSlA " o6 stEJ eOffy' l IL
happy your honor said the prisoner. gig
CLING. What excuse nave you for getting
drunk" I've seven OF 'em. Judge"
"Ssven excuses -'les.yer honor, seven. Now
/ don't mind telling We all bout it. Ye see.
I've got six boys in my family and las night
its : girl, Judge" Thomas got otI.
Rev. Joseph Cook, like his namesake OF
the long past. has circgmnavigated the
globe. He found things very different
from what the famous sailor found them.
For one thing, he says he was greatly As
tonished to find how widely the English
language IS spoken in the East. He found
no difficulty in finding audiences OF Eng
disappearing people in the smallest places
in Iadia. He delivered in all $50 lectures
during his grand tour. al in English, sage
one in Japan. On that occasion he spoke
through an interpreter. Nothing moro
| forcibly shows how the sturdy stock of the
English speaking people has Influenced
the world.
| Speculation is a dangerous malady
when ii rises to fever heat. The Pitts
| burgh Dispatch says one man in Pitts
| field. Pa. has been carried by the ''oil
| craze into absolute insanity. and two