The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1882-11-10

We publish at the request OF several O
our readers Itis not intended as
take off on tho style Of any journal Ii
Oregon, but is for testing the pro
nouncing powers Of our students. l
was written by theological student II
Rochester, n. Y. Considerable amusO
ment may be had with II in circle o
friends by reading in turn and goinI
down OH mispronouneiation, prize 4
DO given 10 the one who makes NJ
errors:
Roland and Diana were lovers. Di
ana was ephcmeral but comsly, hy2o-
chondriaeal but not lvgubrious, didasti'
but not dishonest, nor given TO ribald
or trucnlent grimaees. Her pedal ex
tremitios were, perhaps, trifo toe
large for playing organ pedals success
fully, but her heart was net at all ada
mantine, and her address was persmp.
tory without being diffuse. On the
whole she might we'll become the inam-
o-ata Of one retired TO some saiet vicin,
age away from the sqaaior and clRngor,
the dissonancs and contumeiy Of great
metropolis.
Roland, on tho other hand, was of a
saturnine countenanee at once aplenetic
aud combativs 10 deposition, 80 that his
wassailsand ergies were almost maniac
al in their details. He was q telegra
pher by profession, having received d
diploma from Caius College, but az.
grandized his stipend by dabbling in
philology. or,hoepy aud geology during
bis leisure hours, 80 that he was &C.
cused Of feticism and tergivsrHatiod
by his patrons.
Still his Acumen and prescience wer'
such that only a misogyAist would dis
Germ that he was an aspirant for the
gallswh His acetic rather than hii
aseetic nature apparently inclined Liu
to visit chemical laboratory well-filled
with apparatus, to which he had access
whence ke often returned with globule'
Of iodine AMI albumen on his caoutchouS
shoes, which subjected him 70 numer
ous aitercations with his landlady, q
virago ana pythoness in one, and with
the servant, her accessory or ally.
Roland had, however, become aecli
mated to bis place, received everything
with equability, reclined upon th'
divan while lac contemplated th'
elysium where Diana dwelt. and al
addressed donative distichs To her il
the subsidence Of the raillery.
There was certain diocesan wnc
endeavored to dispoAscss Roland in th'
affections Of Diana, but he was enerya
ted by bronchitis, larnygitis and diph-
liberia, which. on their subsidence, lef
bis carotid artery in an anparentl,
Ietnargic condition. lie had sent Di
ana ring set with onyx, chalosdoni
variety Of stone, aud once hung pla
card where be knew she would sc
it from her csaement, but sh
steadfastly rejected bis ovsrturel
and ogled him as il hs wer
dromedary. The diocesan betoo
himself TO absolutory prayers, but con
tinued his digrsssions and inquiries.
Roland became cognizant Of th
amour, and, armed with withe, il
weighed him into kind of assighatio
beneath a jasmine, where he inveighC
against this "eiay Lothario," who d
. Tended himself with falchion unit
Roland disarmed him, houghing h
palfry withsl After the joust Il
prependary abjectly apologized albe
in scarcely resPirabls condition, the
hastened to the phsrmaceutic aerie &
copaiba, morphine and quinine, AT
was not seen again, until the ne,
Michaelmas.
Roland returned on Thanksgivir
Day, took an inventory of his posses
ions, which consisted of large guam
ty of almond cement, package of e
velopes, dish of anchovy sauce,
tame falcon q book on acoustics, mil
ature of mirage, treatise on Il
epizootic, a stomacher lined wi
sarcenet, cerement of sepuIture,
cadaver and bomb.
The next day the hymeneel rit
were performed, and Diana becar
thenoeforth his faithful coadjutant al
housewife.
KALAMAZOO, MICH, Feb. 1880.