Smyrna times., 1882-10-25


he Democratic party they certainly
wont crow over the result in Ohio.
IIndoo girls are taught to think of
marriage as soon as they can talk.
American girls are not. They don't
require teaching.
\ Philadelphia music publisher has
received ali order for $4,000 copies of
: We won't 90 home till morning"
The order comes from Ohio
Blotting paper was discovered in
l46J, but from that year to this no man
has ever been able to discover a piece
in his own house when he wanted it.
In the cup Of life youth is the sugar,
middle age the cream, and old age the
drcgs.-H'hithaH Times. If you refer
to the fair sex we will take "sugar in
ours
General Butler is a great admirer of
the fair sex. Now we know why all
the Democratic papers North and
south used to call him "Spoon"
Butler.
\ Philadelphia bride found seven
teen full sets Of dishes among her we'd
ding presents. Her iar-sceing friends
evidently knew that she was going to
keep girl
Rufus Hatch says that constant travel
day and night will cure dyspepsia.
There may be something in this. Re
portcrs and bill collectors are gener-
ally healthy.
Old fashioned country dances are be-
ing revived, and it is thought that fash
ionabe balls this season will be less
suggestive of sitting up with Il corpse
/ than formerly.
/ An Indian princess has an elephant
for a pet. and as she don't CARY it
! in her arm in a street car or lead it by
a ribbon along crowded thoroughfares,
nobody objects to it.
We agree with an exchange that
there Is Il disgusting amount of crime
in the newspapers. but the man who
| has a pimple on his nose can't blame
the lOokimg-glass for showing it.
An Ohio man, after the election, sold
his furniture for whiskey and went on
Il glorious old spree until the police
arrested him for choking his wife. 1t
}
An Allentown man has invented a
rat trap, in one end of which is
mirror but we don't believe a mirror
will coax an Allentown rat into the
cOntriVancc, unless the inventor puts
peanut in front of it,
1t is now the fashion to have bare
t floors and scatter few rugs around.
/ Wonder if backwoods farmers ever
; realized how utterly too too they and
= their ancestors have been in this re-
+ spect for the past century.
! A Hartford dressmaker sends home
| dresses when they are promised, fin
Q ishes them as neatly as tailor-made
e costums, and sends all the pieces that
. are left. She should consult a physi-
G clan at once. The good die young.
Now the farmers say corn is very
! late in ripening this year, Anything
= = to keep up the price. When the snow
: gets to be about a foot deep they will
: probably explain that corn is scarce
h because they forgot to plant any last
= last spring.
If man had, in proportion to his size,
l. Jump as high as a mountain but here,
Y as in all things, we see how wise are
lie the provisions of nature. As it is, a
A. man can step on tack without going
c. through the roof.
in A Georgia man who has been mar
m ried seven times, says he has had aU-
n full hard luck. He'd scarcely get a
of wife before she'n die and he'd have to
le 90 to the expense of counting and mar
lv ing another. The thing got to be ruin
4 Ous.-BOstOR Post.
Us Us Burke says the perfection of cOnver-
>, sation is not to play a regular sonata,
W but, like an -Eolian harp, to await the
40 i' inspiration of the passing breeze. This
,is may explain why tongues move SO
af rapidly during domestic argument
T. " plenty Of breeze there.
le, "The Dorsay redingOte, ," says fash
nj ion journal. has broken out all over
al and is seen on every tenth woman one
- meets" Were we Il woman with
redingote which had broken out all
over. we should wear plenty of clothes
rs under it or stay in the house.
M 4 Bradford young lady wishes she
nd had 1.-THE tail of the comet for hat
,a- plume" Oh, no doubt. She has an
81 invitation to 90 to the theater and Il
itb plume 5000 600 miles high would just
-or suit her. 1t would hide the stage
rn- much better than a common cartwheel
NC hat.
eM DR.. Hall says that taking a walk be-
, ,eu fore breakfast has put more people into
al their coffins than the ailments they
GI- were seeking to get rid Of DIR. Hall
ne ne should not stop there, but explain the
~ danger of taking any violent exercise
Gu Gu before breakfast. Getting up to build
- the fire is particularly fatal and has
,d carried many married man to an
'md early grave.
Henry Ward Beecher's cow broke
into the grounds of neighbor al
we Peekskill and made havoc, which
'he brought the neighbor to Mr.. Beecher
'he 81 wish YOU would keep your cow oHt
go of nv shrubbery," exclaimed the iTatC
o"' neighbor, to which Mr.. Beecher re
a piled: And wish you would keel
III III YOUR shrubbery out of my cow; i
ny, spoils the milk" The Aforesaid neigh
nj .ii1 bors are on speaking terms no more
thn M HGWt0Fd Post.
-. Inc point mas Deeh hlauo thaC Oa'
ate orders are not unwholesOme in them
yea selves, as is popularity supposed, bu
Ser they indicate the presence of diseas
des germs that are of course unWhOlesOmE
ing What u,isa men these scientists are
t in ~ hin, Veil discover that tn
red ,o>,rsla Of ravolver thrust into vou
lihg face by highwayman is not unhealthy
nsn iisi in itself, but indicates the presence {
Ina llsn lead and powder, which are to b
ooi- avoided.
o., General Grant announces that ne
fol- out of politics. Mr.. Conkhng annoul
ugh ces that he is absorbed IN legal ousines
ade. and has no connection WIN Poh1ics
nily These declarations are merely IN