The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-08-31
Spoonendyke.
Boxing a Sewing-Machine.

Boxing Sewing Machine.
''Say, my dear" observed Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. Strengthening up and scratch
ing his ear, s'what did the man say
about boxing up this sewing-machineP'
'Why, he said to take the cover off
and"
I've got the cover OFF, snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. ''Did he say to take it
off twice? Amt once binding on this
machine?n
Certainly replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, then you take the top off and"
''Did that man say anything about
boxing up this &achine? That's what
l asked YOU" vociferated Mr. Spoopen-
dyke. Il know all about the cover and
top. You can't teach me anything
about the top and cover. | want some
information about this dod-gasted bird
cage looking arrangement. Did he say
whether I was to take that off of any
thing?"
1.-The machine goes in that" futtered
Mrs. Spoopendyke. '.And then this
slat-cover nails over it,
''Now that's the way 1 like to hear
woman talk" remarked Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, betaking himself cheerily to his
work. IF you'd always answer straight
up we'd have been moved q week ago"
''But you must screw the top on the
bottom of the top and tie the cover un-
derneath," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, who,
having been complimented on a detail,
determined, womanlike, to know all
about it.
"What stable have you been boarding
in now?" roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
dropping the hammer on his foot
.'What asylum for INDECENT iackasses
did you get that scriptural quotation
from? How'm l going to screw the
measly top on the dod gasted bottom of
itself? Where's the screw that does
that? Just jerk your thumb in the di-
rection of the interconvertible screw
that will screw thing on in that wayp"
''Why. you just turn the top over on
the bottom, the man said, and screw it
to the top; that
Come overr' yelled Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, tugging at the works, from which
he had neglected to take the thumb
screw. ''Come over the way the man
said for you to! Hear me! Come over!
There can't any dod-gasted piece of
seventy-dollar ingenuity get the best of
the manufacturer when Spoopendyke's
within reach! Come over and screw on
the bottom, like the man said! Coming
over?, and Mr.. Spoopendyke's hands
slipped, landing him on the back of his
neck in the crate his wife had purchased
to box the machine in.
''Never mind, DEAR" said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, trembling with apprehension
for the safety of the machine, sLet
the man come and do it himself if he
knows so much about it"
''Dod gast the manin howled Mr..
Spoopendyke, springing to his feet and
moving on the works once more.
Think he can break this measly old
cast-lron imitation of an inebriate home
any quickern n l camp" and he grasped
the top OF the instrument and hauled
away till his eyes hung out. Come
over to the dulcet bottom and be screwed
ont o corur- HIory peIng
screwed to the bottom of the top awaits
thee. Come over and see this miracle
of plastering the top and bottom of the
same thing together as performed by
Spoopendyke, the apostle of impossi-
bilities! Come to the dod-!" But
here the thumbscrew broke, driving Mr..
Spoopendyke into the closet like spike,
where he sat holding the mutilated top
in his arms and looking dazed.
Are you hurt, dearpn asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, rushing toward him.
''Hurtf' shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Am | hurt? Dye see that thumb-ioint
hanging to that measly screwp Wow
WV! squealed MIR. Spoopendyke, dane
ing to his feet, and dashing the machine
ry into the crate. ''Get in there, quickr'
and he tumbled the rest of the business
IN after, where it struck cornerwise in
spite OF bis effort to drive it in with his
leg. 'Is this what the man said?' and
he jumped at it with both feet. "Bot-
tom appear to be coming any nearer to
tho top from wbere you stand?" and he
whlrled the crate around and then
kicked at the corner Of the machine.
''Does that screw strike you es begin
ming to take hold? Got a notion that
this machinery can be moved from here
to Hackensack without scratching any
paint off the farrn-houses along the
road?' and concentrating himself in
one last effort Mr.. Spoopendy ke turned
the crate over on the machine and
breathed hard.
''You have done that splendidly,"
cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to re-
store peace between Mr.. Spoopendyke
and the wreck of her sewing-machine.
''lt isn't exactly the way the man said,
but know
30 you know all about itr' elf /
could build front door and a veranda
to your information, I'd stand you in a
tub of salt water and start summer-re-
sort! O you're posted on what to do!
You understand mechanics Some day
FL fit you cut with a price-list and a
strike, and start rolling -millr' and
MIR. Spoopendyke went for his hat, and
tore out of the room.
''It's pretty well scratched, but other
wise it's all right commenced Mrs.
Spoopendyke, examining tho wreck.
And I'll get the man to box it. /
think FL put this bottle of ink in his
light coat pocket. He'll want it as soon
as he gets out there, and he'll find it as
soon as ne sits DOWN.