The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-04-05
NUMORS OF TIE DAY.

A HALF loaf is better than whole
loafer.
NEVER too late TO mend-A torn ten.
dollar note.
A REAL estate transfer-moving cart
load Of dirt.
A LOVER has all the qualities hus-
band has not.
A FOOL and an ACCORDION are both
easily drawn out.
WHAT is sauce for the turkey is cram
berry for the dinner guests.
MAN wants but little here below, and
that's just about what he gets.
BANK cashiers are generally smart fell
lows, but they are frequently Eighty.
OFALLsbares, pillow shares are the most
reliable. They always turn out some-
thing.
THERE are people who will buy any
thing on sight if they can be allowed to
pay for it on time.-New Orleans Plea
ytDle.
"Irs scold day when l get left" Fan
tippe remarked when Socrates went OIL
to the circus without her.-BTlington
Hawkcye.
A DERBY doctor killed fox, and tho
Derby Transcript sardonically remarks:
"The doctor means business when he
gets after EN-"
"MY daughter" exclaimed fashion,
able mother, sis innocence itself. You
can't say anything in her presence that
will make her blush"
SOLOMON is said to have had some nino
hundred wives of all sorts. What 1T
must have cost him for fries in boxes
when he stayed out late.
HENS scratch up flower beds only when
they are barcfooted. That's why women
run out and "shoo" the hens to keep
them from doing damage.
HAL to the thief who In triumph advances,
| The more he steals the more TenOwn,
The bigger his pile the moro he pranccs,
And cash keeps him up, while Others so down.
Hampton.
If some religious people we know
would prey on their neighbors less and
their knees more, the world would DO
better oll.-BaNimore Every Saturday.
"MAMIE," said he, and his voice was
singularly low, twill You be my wife ?
Will you cling to me MS the tender vine
clings to the" "Yes, 1 catch on, 4"
said she.
A New York tourist who ate an ALI
gator for becfsteak in Florida didn't
get the taste out of his mouth until he
had eaten half peck Of onions and four
dozen herrings.
A PREACHER who had turned specu-
lator and bought lot of hogs on ris.
ing market, telegraphed his agent :
"Hold the pork, for l am coming" -
StouJcnUiile Herald.
SHAKESPEARE asks, "What's in n
name?" Well, it is good thing, some
times. Not necessarily for publica-
ton, but merely as n guarantee Of good
faith. detroit Free Press.
81 call that very rare," said Jones tc
workman who had done some work foi
him. "Ah ?" answered the workman,
highly tickled. Yes went on Jonca,
"rare, very rare-not half done" Tha,
cooked the workman, and he RETIRED
StcuJenUitlo Herald.
A FASHIONABLE lady witness tainted
dead away while giving her testimony
and the doctor who was summoned said
it resulted from her corset being toe
tight. The incident was very properly
entered upon the minutes of the case as
90 stay in the proceedings"
A PROMINENT citizen, whose idiosyn
Grassy is that of becoming intoxicated ant
going to bed with his clothes on, wa
surprised with the following the othe
morning, from his wife "You were no
rs drunk MS usual last night, Henry
dear, were you?" "Well, L don
KNOW" said he; "what makes you thin
SOP" "Why," she replied, 81 see yo
took your overshoes of before you wen
IN bp1