Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-08-04
Mnhnne. Lr. Goes Down in Rnttle.

Rinia Senator are thus chrouicled
by the Washington POST Young
Mr. Butler Malone has been posing
as Mr.. Tug Wilson, by which Il is To
be understood that che juvenile aud
acknowledged offspring Of the distin.
guished Readjuster candidate for the
next Vice Presidency has been aveng.
ing his outraged honor under the Mar.
quis Of Queensberry rules. II the
latest reports Of the tragedy be cor
rect, as they undoubtedly are, the hon.
or of the Malone family has been
knocked into n cooked hat. II APP
pear that few evenings since young
Malone, who has not ceased 10 call
the elder Malone papa" was out on
a "bender," familiarity yclept moon.
light excursion on the Potomac, below
the nats. by some horrible mis-
chance War Department clerk, one
Of those auburn. haired young things
who are remarkable chiefly for the
regularity with which they draw their
salary, who was attended, as was Mas
ter Malone, by young lady, stepped
on young Mahone's toes rs he passed
him. Forthwith the mighty wrath of
the Mahones rose up in its grandeur,
hurriedly buckled on its armor and
loudly demanded blood. As soon rs
the boat landed seconds were sought
and found, aud a duel arranged for
Sunday night las, ON the outskirts Of
the city. The young man from the
War Department was out on time,
but young Malone, whose valor had
been steadily and persistently oozing
out through his fingers aud his out.
ragged toes, did not show up. But on
Tuesday evening, as the shades OF the
declining sun fingered on the grass on
top OF kalaramo Heights, rs il afraid
10 leave, young Mr.. Butler Malone
and the young man from the War
Department faced each other and
went 20 work with their fists. There
were but three rounds. In the first
round young Malone executed back
double somersault that would have
done Barnums prize acrobat great
credit, and landed ia a mud. puddle
In the second round young Mahone's
light pants were split from Dan to
Beersheba, his celluloid collar hope
lessly denied, and his general appear
ance betrayed deep disgust and grief
The third and last round resulted in
young Mr.. Malone being denuded of
wearing apparel and cuffs, and being
landed on stretcher thoughtiully
prepared for the occasion. Young
Mr.. Malone now languishes at his
fathers hotel, his entire countenance
bearing puculiarly surprised aud in.
dignant look. lie will, Of course, re-
vive aud take a little more interest in
things mundane when he finds that
his follies have become more generally
known and commented on.
yeIephoaiaq for f6e Wroag Doctor
A well.knOwn medical man of this
city was called up by telephone the
other day, when the following CONVEX
sation took place:
at has come doctor.
The doctor thought he knew the
voice, and, wondering why he had
not been sent for. shouted back:
"ls it all rghi?"
at is a very small pattern, answer.
ed the voice. which was that OF wo-
man, "but it will do if we kepains. y
The doctor caught the last word,
and called distinctly:
"Give it paregoric!"
There was a mumbled discussion
which he could not hear, and then the
voice called:
"Is this doctOr-Y
"Nol Its dOctOr--Of Fort street"
Then he heard chorus of mirth,
and was informed that he was in COM
munication with fashionable dress
making house, and that it was n silk
dress for Doctor wife that was
under discussion, and that he was the
wrong man, which, under the circum
stances, was rather a relief TO the
Fort street physician. - Detroit Post.
An ABUSED WFE.-A melan-
choly-looking woman, with a very
painful expression about the corners
other mouth, applied to Col. Sam
Scudder, an Austin lawyer for a di'
vorce. "What are your grounds for
divorced" "My husband gets drunk
all the time. Its dreadful for sober,
Woodworking woman like myself to
have drunken husband" 81 sup
pose you have witnesses who know
he drinks 10 excessY' witnesses!
well, should say so. can prove
his drunkenness by myself" "Ol
course you have frequently seen him
in an intoxicated condition" "Why,
have to go 10 the grocery all day
long, bringing him one bottle after an.
other. Some days bring him half
dozen bottles in one day" "Good
heavens Does he drink that much
whisky? No wonder you want n di-
vorce." The woman looked around TO
see that no one was listening, and then
said in II confidential whisper; ole
doesn't get all of it. You see ! drink
about two thirds of the bottle before
give il to him, and then | iillitup with
water. fit wasn't for that couldn't
live with him another day. just
couldn't stand IL"
Plumpness, milky whiteness ofcom
plexion, puffy eyelids, and swollen
skin, mark emphatically the arsenic