Omaha daily bee., 1882-11-05
LIFE IN wYoMING,
Impressions of "a Tenderfoot.

Impressions of q Tenderfoot.
Laramie Boomerang,
A sixty day sojourn In Laramie
City and vicinity, has given mo a
passably fair opportunity, of "siziug
up" this much-famed section OF the
great and notorious west.
Having heard of the wild and
riotous habits of the fiery and I'M
tanned steer, the obtrusive and at
times highly censorious conduct of
ELAINE. Eyed jim" and his blooming
colleagues in ''sticking up" passenger
trains and compelling the timorous
traveller to lie like a horse thief, at the
business end of q four barreled Win
chester to retain his valuables, ard re-
ceiving an indistinct impression of the
untutored activity necessary to avoid
the liver.searchlug bullets aud reck-
lessly handled cheese-Bnives of the
festive cowboy during hie moments of
hllarity, it was with considerable hesi-
tation and an accident insurance policy,
after STANDING off" the washwoman
and securing another collar, / loaded
my grip" with a tooth brush, extra
sock aud other little .mementoes of
crude civilization and affecting q spirit
of Indifference, saying to the boys"
81 am just going TO run up the road,
you know" hoisted myself aboard
the train, aud plunged into a Pullman
sleeper and profound meditation.
The journey westward has been
written up and exaggerated SO much,
that it is utterly impossible to "swell
the heads of the public anothe inch;
"breeze after bieezs" has that long
suffering body stood, and still the
''fiends of the press" whack away,
giving US the same old dose.
The scenery along the Union Paoi.
fc west to Laramie, the noble expanse
of prairie lyiug around loose, the eyer
changing telegraph pole, the flock of
decayed Dutch baronesses with their
ffteen-quart, dirt calcimined tin buc-
kets and same old song, "Meestare
WOODEN sic milb haben," and "You
like some peelonee sausage, meestare, F."
the number of trips the young red
headed barbarian in your car makes to
the ice water tank, becomes so infer
nally monotonous, that the occasional
race we have with o lame cow ahead,
is a delightful relief, only to have de-
spondency again set in, when we get
gloriously distanced.
The average brakeman is an indiv-
vidual of immense pretensiong, the
amount of cold railroad experience
leaking out of him, and the quantity
of stale, worn-out circus slang, he
uses, would nauseate the driver of an
Oshkosh slop wagon, and now since
he glitters with the new regulation
harness., a cheerful gladdeping ''break''
will occur for the southern overland
route.
A glass-eyed son of Albion, a high
proof-cockney with the usual loud
figured suit, snow-shovel shoes and
twirling the inevitable eye.glass
around the fingers of a hand that was
the size of a hired mans, "fell up"
against n of these embryo railroad
directors recently, and listened to
his melodious flow of ancient slang,
calculated, "Why blawst his bloomin'
h'eyes, the fellow has the lingo of the
chain.gang at 'ome you know; dam
mel but he must have been an Aus
tralian lager, don't you know 2"
With many misgivings l climbed
down the steps on the off side of the
train at Laramie, fearful of confront
ing bill Nye," that ideal frontiers
man, attired in the picturesque cos
tune which I, in common with other
habitants of the east, imagined was
his custom-with at least four pom
derous Colts navies hookedSaround
him, complacently whiting off a sec
ton Of ''plug" with an Arkansas tooth.
pick as large aH a meat axe. No such
pirate halted me, however, and /
thankfully hunted cover. Subsequent
investigation showed the mistake +;
this North American land shark whose
national reputation and ten cent tin
types sdorn the finest rogue's galleries
oil our land, developed into a mild APP
pearing gentleman wearing q two dol
lar and a half smile and ''showing up
an extent of intellectual skat!ng-rink
that concluaively proved him a mem.
Der of the noble army Of martyrs to
the belligerent saucepan. The most
formidable weapon he alings around
"promiscuous" is a pair of pocket
scissors and the general disposition OF
this supposed Mohawk ia 80 pacific
that you can just walk right up and
stroke him on the neck. Why, ]
actually saw him collecting the assess.
ment at a prayer meeting, and his fel,
low citizens ''warmed up to him and
''put up a chip" every time he felt fol
them with the tin skillet. Us eastern
"ducks" are "away off our base" re.
garding this professional humor dis.
penser.
The city of Laramie presents {
whole raft load of magnificent psssi
bilities, and with the necessary CAPT
tai, or a government subsidy, coule
readily be developed into a metropo
lis of terrific proportions. For fur
Their views of a similar nature, inter
view some Of the moss backed ole
relics that OWL the real estate.
Having cause To enauire into IN,