davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
ROYAL HANDS FOR SALE.
The MarriaGeable Princes and Prin.
ceSSaS in Eurone

The Manchester (England) Guardian
in recent issue says: In accordance
with its annual custom the Herald of
st. Petersburg has just published a
complete list Of the marriageabIe prin-
ces and princesses living at the present
moment in Europe. The manageable
age for prince is from twenty-fOur to
forty, and for a princess from eighteen
to twenty eight. The former, therefore,
has sixteen manageable years as
against a poor decade of the other. On
the other hand the number of eligible
princes exceeding that of manageable
princesses. There are thirty-one of the
former and twenty-four of the latter.
Most of these princes naturally belong
to princeridden Germany. There are,
indeed, no less than twenty German
princes now on the marriage market.
In this list is not included any rer-
resentative of the royal house Of Prussia
the eldest son of the Crown Prince be-
ing married already, and the second
being only twenty years old. The most
eligible bachelor of the number is no
doubt King Ludwig, of Bavaria, but
no more obdurate bachelor and mis-
ogynlst exists. The rest of the Princes
arc little better than Prince]ings, and in
mentioning one ofthem-Henry XVII,
Prince of Reuss-the chronicler from
whom we are quoting thinks himself
bound to add that though the princi-
pality is but small the Prince is uncom-
monty well off. The rest of Europe has
but poor supply of Princes by the
side Of Germany. France offers a
Bourbon in the person of Prince Peter
dOrleans, born in 1916, and now occu-
plying the humble position of Lieuten-
ant IN the French navy. Denmark
supplies candidate in the shape of
the Kings youngest son, Prince Waldo
mar. The royal house of Italy furnish
es that eligible widower, Prince Anna
doe, once King of Spain. Another
widOwer of less eligible description is
Prince Albert, lord and master of tiny
Monaco. The Netherlands, Austria,
Russia and Portugal each furnish one
or more representatives to the list. OF
princesses there is in the first place and
above all our own Princess Beatrice,
the only remaining unmarried daugh-
ter of the Queen, now % years old.
Other Princesses are to be found by
the wooer with the necessary qualifca-
tons in Spain, Portugal, Holstein,
Hessen and other minor German prin-
cipalities. Lastly ifany one is bold en-
ough to WOO new Penthesilea, she is
perhaps to be found in that defendant
of line of warrior chieftains, the
Princess Zorka, of Montenegro.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

The best way to shorten sale is to
stop advertising.
a sensational report is called can
ard because one canardly belive it.
1t is reported that a New Jersey CT
gar maker has discovered that the leaf
Of the tobacco plant makes very good
cigar.
That little girl unwittingly gave ut
terance to the principles of many of
her elders when she wrote in her COM
position: eve should make mistakes
and tell lies as seldom as it is con-
venient."
II should think that you would feel
badly about leaving this place." said
the housemaid to the departing cook.
~ don't; Pm glad TO 60. [ amt sorry
to leave any of you-except the dog.
Poor old Tiger, he always washed the
plates for me p
The Oil City Blizzard says "beads"
are the fashionable style of trimming
"on glass of beer" A "glass of beer"
we presume, is a new article Of femi-
nine wear. The ladies do have such
queer names for their fxings.
The United States Fish Commission
has recently placed in the rivers of Ar
kansas and Texas 100000 shad. This
sta cement may be believed. It's not
the number Of fish they put into a
river, but the number they take out,
that men lie about.
A Denver Chinaman, who had gone
into the ice cream business recently.
has the following sign near the door:
"You catch 'em feezy belly two bittee
all same Sian Francisco" It is more
and more evident that we are ruined
by Chinese cheap labor.
An enterprising looking countryman
with q creel full of fine brook trout was
standing in the doorway of a railroad
station. A passenger accosted him,
and admiring the fish remarked: GO
ing to take them home for supper, l
SUPPOSED" "Not if [ can help it," said
the rustic, with grin. There be a
party of city bloods as went fishing
from here this mornin'. They're
'spected back soon, and I'm sorter Iy-
in round, waitin' to save their feelin's."
They were talking beneath the old
linden tree, she lazily taking her first
swing in the hammock, while he, seat
ed on rustic bench held the rope and
assisted the oscillation. ''No, l never
could bear a strong minded woman,
never" said he, ';and [ am real glad
you are not one" "And | always ad-
mired strong minded man." said she
petulently. "and I am sorry you are not
one" And the two English sparrows
that were fitting in the branches above
seemed to pick up the fight SO unwit-
tingly begun and finished it.
The agent of an accident insurance
company introduces in his ADVERTISE
ment the picture of hat with the
blade of a pair of shears, that fell out
of window, sticking upright in the
hat. He says that the wearer of this
hat was insured against accidents in
the company for which he is an agent !;
but how that prevented the shears
from falling into his hat the agent
fails to show. Moreover it was the
height of the hat that prevented the
shears from hurting the wearer of the
hat after they struck. A society to
prevent women and children from
chucking shears out of the upper
windows, or one for the encouragement
of high hats, would seem to be the real
need of that community.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

self upon the floor, and with his head
upon hassock, struggled for breath. 1t
was on the night when he was so bad and
when all his medical advisers had lorg
given him up that he began using War
ner Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. The
next morning at 10 o'clock he was able to
breathe freely, and has been ever since.
l subjected him to the most rigid eIansi-
nation possible, after his recovery, and L
can't find out about him. His kidneys,
liver, lungs, and heart are perfectly well
and sound. l can only add that, from
what have seen, I would 'unhesitatingly
recommend this remedy.
The conclusions from the statements
above made, which come to the newspaper
man as well as the general public, must
be two-fold. First, that modern miracle
Of healing has been performed in our midst,
aid that, too, by the simplest means, and
one which is within the reach of every
one. 1t should be remembered that
Bright's disease is not usually sudden
its growth slow The symptoms by which
it may be detected are different with diff
ferent persons, no two people usually hav-
ing the same. This fact was manifest in
the case of Mr.. Larabee and he had no
idea of the terrible complaint which bad
attacked him, until it became fixed upon
him. Secondly, testimonials of such high
character, and so out-spoken iii tone, con-
clusively prove the value of the remedy,
and its superior nature TO the proprietary
articles with which the public have been
flooded. The greater includes the less, :"
and the remedy which has been proven so
valuable, aad has saved life after it was
brought down to eath's door, must I'M
questionably be certain in all minor
troubles which are so disastrous unless
taken in time.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

softly. II think it has been true for a
long time, DR.. Halifax"
It was dreadfully undignifed, but
Miss Ashby had positively made an
unconditional surrender, and the curls
lay in shining heap against DR.. Hall
fax's broad shoulder.
Only dear little girl" he said tenderly
kissing the pretty, tremulous face. "My
dear, dear little girl, how happy you
have made me-"
What more have I to say? [ have
ended my record, bringing both hero
and heroine through their adventures,
and leaving them in properly dramat-
ic position. l have only to tell you
that Captain Housted has proved my
theory of the elasticity of hearts, and
recovering from his sickness, recovered
from his disappointment in very
sensible and decorous manner. In all
probability he forgot his penchant for
brown eyes and married a blonde. If
he did, could there be d better proof
that love is lottery, and variety the
spice of life?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
As THE WIND BLOWS

The wind blows north, the wind blows sout
The wind blows east and west
No matter how the free winds blow,
Some ship will find it best;
Some one out on the wild. wide sea,
Shouts with happy air,
Ho! shipmates, hOi set all the sails,
The wind is blowing fair
One ship sails out into the east,
Another to the west;
One has to struggle fierce and hard,
By winds and waves oppressed,
Under bare masts, tossed to and fro,
By rain and salt spray wet
The other flies before the gale
With all her white sails set.
go wind, o wind, why dost thou blow.
And out to ocean roar,
When l would steer my little bark,
Toward some pleasant shore?
What honor will it be to thee
If down beneath the wave
My simple craft and 1 shall find
A cold, forgotten grave :"
o foolish one, why wilt thou steer
Against the mighty gale!
There are ten thousand ships atioat
Besides thy tiny sail.
If thou would float DER pleasant seas,
Oppose my will no more;
When | blow shOreward, then do thou
Sail also to the shore.
Yet if thy will with mine must strive,
Do then the best thou can;
Against my might set all thy skill,
And fight me like a man.
Stand by the wheel, steer steadily,
Keep watch above, below;
Such hearts will make the port they seek,
No matter what winds blow"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

The story of Mrs. Lincoln writing,
when a young girl, a letter in which
she expressed determination to be-
come the wife of a president, is con-
frmed by the production of the docu-
ment, now in the possession of General
Preston, of Lexington, KY. 1t was ad-
dressed to a daughter of Governor
Wickliffe, and contained playful de-
scription of the gawky young Lincoln,
to whom she was betrothed. She said
'But | mean to make him president Of
the United States all the same. You
will see that, as l always told you, viii
vet be the presidents wife,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

The use of Homeopathic Medicines
in veterinary practice is steadily gain.
ing ground, and it has been fully dem.
onstrated that all diseases of horses and
cattle, and especially the dreaded
pleuropneumonia, are readily amena.
bic to Homeopathic treatment. Vet
Urinary Homeopathic Medicine cases
and books, giving plain directions fol-
use, can be obtained in all styles and
prices at Boericke Il Tafels Homepa
thic Pharmacies, at New York, Phila
delphia, Baltimore, New Orleans and
Chicago. Descriptive Price Current
gratis.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
PHYsIGAiI PEKEECTION.

You can be made strong in all your parts. You
can strengthen the digestive organs, cure dyspep-
sia and prevent those varying attacks of consti-
urinary system and cure all such symptoms Of
weakness as bad dreams, milky urine, etc. You
can strengthen the nervous system and rid your
self of that extreme feeling of debility. You can
strengthen your mental faculties and improve
your memory. You can strengthen your muscu-
lar system and increase your power of endurance
La word, you can be an example of physical
perfection if you desire, by using scientific COM
bination of Yellow Dock. Sarsaparilla, uniper
Buchu, Iron, Celery and Calisaya, all of which
ingredients enter into the composition of DR..
Guysott's Yellow Deck and Sarsaparilla, and
makes it Natures best assistant in curing all
forms of organic diseases, emitting it to be called
the Queen of health renswers, and perfect blood
purifier.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Mr.. J. Schuyler Crosby, who has
been nominated by the president for
governor of Montana, is at present
United States consul at Florence, Italy,
position he has held for several
years. During part of the war he
served on General Sheridan's staff. He
was on the yacht Mohawk, which cap
sized in New York harbor a few years
ago, and by his heroism, at the risk of
his own life, he saved two or three per-
sons.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

MENsMANs PEPToNIzED BEEF Tonic, the only
preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious
properties. 1t is not mere stimulant ike the
extracts of beef. but contains Matchmaking force
generating and DEMONSTRATING properties; invalu-
able for INDIGESTION, DYSPEPSIA, nervous pros
tration and all forms of general debility also in
all enfeebled conditions whether the result of ex-
haustiOn, nervous prostration over-work, or acute
disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary
complaints. CaswelI, Hazard & Co., Proprietors
New York. Sold by druggists.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

A hat Irritation is the latest idiocy
among the girls. There is no. way a
man can wear his hat that it doesn't
mean something, and the only way
you're safe is to go bareheaded.-BOs-
ton Post.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
LChicago 1nteroeean.l
PERILS OF THE DEEP.

During my trip down the River Tagus, in
Spain" said Captain BOyton to q representative
of this journal in a recent conversation by the
sea shore, 81 had to shoot los waterfalls, the
largest being about eighty-fve feet, and innumer-
able rapids. Crossing the Straits of Messina,
had three ribs broken in a fight with sharks; and
coming down the SOmane, a river in France, I
received charge of shot from an excited and
startled huntsman. Although this was not very
pleasant and might be termed dangerous, fear
nothing more on my trip than intense cold for,
as long as my limbs are free and easy and not
cramped or benumbed am all right. OF late
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

- Many silly people dezpise the precious not
understanding it." But no one despises Kidney
Wort after having given it trial. Those that
have used it agree that it is by far the best med
icine known. Its action is prompt, thorough and
lasting. Don't take pills and other mercurial:
that poison the system, but by using Kidney
Wort restore the natural action of all the organs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

A minister writes: From hard study and close
application to the duties of protracted revival,
my health suffered severely. [ took vacation
and tried to win back health and strength, but I
seemed to be sinking into state of general weak
ness and prostration. A friend presented me
with bottle of DR.. Guysotts Yellow Dock and
Sarsaparilla. It's effects has been wonderful, and
although decline having my name published L
will speak good word for this medicine at every
opportunity.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
OUK PKOGRESS

As stages are quickly abandoned with the com
tic pills, composed of crude and bulky medicines,
quickly abandoned with the introduction of
DIR. Pierees Pleasant Puragative Pellets, which
are sugar-coated, and little larger than mustard
seeds, but composed of highly concentrated vege-
table extracts. BY druogISts
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

The Enquirer of Cincinnati says: Hon.
P. T. Barnum strongly indolses St.
Jacobs Oil for pain. His combination
and artists all use it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

If the blood be impoverished, as manifested by
pimples erupticns, ulcers, or running Sores scrof-
DIR. R. V. Pierce's q Golden Medical Discovery
Sold by druggists.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
TENNYSON'S "MAY QYEEy.n

Who knows that if the beautiful girls who died
so young had been blessed with DR.. Pierces
Favorite Prescription she might have reigned
on many another bright May-day. The" Favor
tie Prescription is a certain cure for all those
disorders to which females are label. By drug
pists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

A Chilli squa sh, raised as an expert
ment by Monticello, Fla, farmer,
we ighs nearly 200 pounds.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Senator John Sherman takes a lunch
with him to the capitol every day, and
never leaves the building until the
senate adjourns.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

JAMES MORGAN East Water st. Mil,
waukee, is closing out all his Parasols
Summer Hosiery, Dress goods, Cloaks
Dolmans, ETC., and at the same time is
offering special bargains in Laces and
fine Shoes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

GHOLERA-INFANTUM or SUMMER COM
PLANT, this fearful disease which is carrying
off infants and children by the thousands at thi!
season of the year can be cured by DR.. WinchellE
Teething Syrup, which never fails to give imme-
diate relief even in the most severe cases Sold by
all druggists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

A queen rose in a garden near Bos-
ton meas ures thirteen and one-half
inches in circumference.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

It is understood that DR.. Edward
Emerson, the son of Ralph Waldo
Emerson, will soon give up his voca-
ton as physician in Concord, Mass,
and devote his time to literary pur-
c1nitC
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
THE HTlDDEp

A museum of confederate relics is 10
be established in Raleigh, n. C.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

The smallest tomato in the garden
Of Macon, Ca, man, weighed pound
and three quarters when picked.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

FOR HEADACHE, Constipation, Liver dis
eases and all bilious arrangements there is no
remedy as safe and sure as Elert's Daylight Liver
Pills. They stand unrivalled in removing bile.
toning the stomach, and giving healthy action tC
the liver. Sold by all druggists.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03


DE-. JAQUE's GERM WORM CAKES are AN infallible
remedies for worms. They will not only DESTROY but
also remove them from the system They are pleasant
TO take perfectly harmless Sold by druggists.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

If you are hairless and cappy there is one way
and no more by which you may be made careless
and happy-use CAROLINE, deodorized extract
of petroleum, it will positively make new hair
grow.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

70 No woman really practices economy I'M
less she uses the Diamond Dyes. Many dollars
can be saved every year. Ask the druggist.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Dalton, Tenn, has a young lady den
fist, and Atlanta, Ga, 3 colored dentist
who has large white patronage.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Government A ctuary Elliott figures
it that by 1900 our people will number
81, 100000.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

A Virginia girl has collected the rat
ties from 127 rattlesnakes, each serpent
having died by her own hands.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Aliens "IrOn Tonic Bitters" aids
digestion and the assimilation Of food cures sour
stomach and headache, and gives strength to the
system.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Is three times the he was before he began usir
wells Health Remover" 81. Druggists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

LUDINGToN, Mich. Feb. 1880.
have sold Hop Bitters, for four years and
there is no medicine that sHrpasse5 them fer bill
ious attacks. kidney complaints and many dis
eases incident to this malarial climate.
Fl T. ALEXANDER
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
DON'T DIEN THE HOUSF

Secretary Lincoln will return tC
Washington "Wednesday.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
THAT HUSBAND OF MINE

A mans life is an appendix to hi
heart.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

If you are frequenter or resident of a
miasmatic district, barricade your system against
the scourge of all new countries-ague, bill
ious and Intermittent fevers-by the use of Hop
RittarS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

Look We'll to the Name.
The only Genuine German Hop Bitter have
the word German blown in the bottle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

DIsTEMPER, COUGHS, COLDS, FEvERs,
and diseases which Horses, Cattle, Sheep and
Poultry subject to, are readily cured by Uncle
Sans Condition Powder. Sold by all drugeists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

There are 1850 theatres in the
United States.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

RHEUMATISM, neuralgia, spralns, bruises in man OF
beast, cured by Uncle Sans Nerve and Bone Linmen
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

SINGING irritation, Inflammation. all Kidney n
Urinary Complaints cured by " Buchupaiba." 81.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

UNCLE SANS HARNESS OIL closes the
pores of leather, eectually prevents the entrance
eff dampness dust, etc., rendering the harness soft
and pEable, and increasing its durability. Sold
Y harness makers.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03
EsVSDPDSEs

EILERT's EXTRACT OF TAR AND WILD CHERRY is 9
standard reliable remedy for coughs colds and throat
diseases If you suffering, give them trial. Sold
by DRUGGISTS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

" Rough on Rats Clears out rats, mice, roaChe
bedbugs, flies, ants, mOles, chipmunks gophers. 15c
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-08-03

South Cardinals oat crop is nearly
9 600 bushels.