davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
A JUMPING DOG.
He Visits the Opera House and
Stampedes the Audience.
Last Night.

Last night, while the audience ut the
opera house were quietly enjoying the
play OF Nip and Tuck, their serenity was
suddenly broken up by a series Of Wells
which sounded like the cry of fire. OF
course. such a cry always causes instant
CONSERVATION to a theater audience, and
the usual rush was made last night but,
fortunately, it was almost instantly quelled
and no one was hurt.
Ii seems that there is Guiteau-kind of
a dog running around town, and his
pranks last night were somewhat cranky.
The first appearance ne made was at the
Wine hall, where, without prOvOcation or
invitation, he jumped through one OF the
glass doors. making q wreck of the glass.
Then the dog concluded to take in the
theatre and up the steps OF the opera house
he went. Scarcely had he reached the
ticket office before Mr.. Deutsch remarked
to Jim Gossage, "Why, that's the dog that
jumped through my door," This recogni-
ton filled the brute's mind or heart with
remorse and, giving series of loud yelps,
he jumped clear down the stairs, landing
in a crowd of "kids," standing at the bot
tom of the steps and knocking them down
like row of ten pins. The "kids" set up
a veil and left in CONSERVATION. They
thought the dog had been dropped down
on them from above by some agent of
Theseus as a punishment for their hanging
around the opera house.
The audience heard these mingled yelps
and wells, and hence their fright. Quiet
was soon restored and the play went on as
though nothing unusual had occurred.
The dog-wLere is he? Echo answers,
where
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

A Brutal Husbands Neglect of
His Fifteen-Year-Old
Wife.

II what has been told the BAzoo is true,
the town Of Windsor has man who de-
serves the condemnation of all good people.
He arrived there last fall from Ohio, in
company with his fifteen-year-old wife, and
with . cash capital of 81 900, engaged in
the restaurant business. For time he
Prospered, and gave promise OF becoming .
useful citizen, but now all is changed.
Some time since billiard saloon was
opened in the town, and from that day un-
til the present the restaurant man has neg
lected his wife and business and spent the
greater portion of his time in punching the
worries. As . natural consequence, his
trade has deserted him, and he is at pres
ent on the verge of bankruptcy.
The wife, like all good and true women,
has endeavored to conduct the business in
her husbands absence, until she is now be-
reft Of health and almost heart-broken, and
on two occasions has been near deaths
door. It's said that the brute of a hus-
band, even when she was thought to be dy-
ing. refused to get her drink of water,
and instead Of attending to her wants in
person, hired young man to do her bid
ding. The true situation At last became
known TO the young wife's neighbors, and
during the past week indignation at the
husbands conduct has been great, he being
denounced on every hand "a unworthy the
love and respect of her whom he promised
to cherish and protect through life.
Although she has been q wife but seven
months, she has experienced more bitter
pangs than she had before known in her
lifetime, and it is no wonder she is DESTROYS
OF returning I" her home i'm Ohio, which
she cOntemplates doing as soon as she is
able to stand the fatigue of travelling.
The BAzOO omits the name of the brute
in this article. but unless his treatment Of
his wife is better i'm the future than i'm the
past, he can expect to be written up in a
style that will depict him in all his hid
eousness.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
She Wants DAMAGES.

At present the Pacific road seems to
have plenty of suits on hand, and on Fri
day still another was instituted i'm the
circuit court of st. Louis county. BY
Mrs Z. Fl. Hurd, widow of Edward III.
Hurd, who asks for $1,000 for the death
of her husband. He was a switchman on
the road and: on The 4ih of August, 1880,
was run over by an engine of the company
and killed. The petition alleges that there
was no pilot to the engine and that the
road was not ballas.ed between the ties !;
that the deceased stepped from the engine
upon one of the ties, which turned over with
him, throwing him down, and that before
he could recover himself the engine passed
over him, severiHg his head from the BODY.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Tackled q Tree.

This is funny, funny world, Jim, and
there's no telling when the circus will strike
town. You may see dignified blue coat
pacing his beat with the pomposity of one
of the old Guard, one minute, and the mex,
he may be miniature clown, paint, stripes
and all. 1t was SO yesterday afternoon,
when Marshal Shy and Officer Holland
gave free street performance as they
tackled drunken tree up on Massachusetts
and Seventh streets. This was the first
time they had ever been called OH i'm an
official way, to play the part of new ground
clearers, though they have been grubbers
for long time.
The tree was drunk at any rate il had
tendency to fall over, ami that's sign
of-well, never mind. Holland" saws
Shy, go and get an axe"
The officer visited every house i'm six
blocks but not an axe or saw did he see or
saw, and so reported. Finally plumbers
house was found and there he secured the
loan of hatchet. This implement is the
insignia of the plumbers business. See?
Then the two star bearers hacked away
upon that tree with all the skill Of a fellow
PLAYING ms tirst tune on a fiddle. Shv
skinned his knuckles, Holland made a
carom shot and cracked his toe. Shy came
back madden than man putting ND
stove pipe. Whack, the Ratchet flew up
the tree and laughed at him. Enraged be-
yond measure, the two grabbed the horns of
mean old tree, yanked, jerked, pulled,
sweat, pufiea. cussed-no, no-but the old
thing came down and the victors iumped
on its trunk, tapped their wings and
crowed ike banty on picket fence.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Fraud on it's Face.

Mr. Hoxie, general manager of the Texas
4 Pacific railway company, issues the fol.
lowing. dated from the general office tn ST.
Louis, which explains itself:
To RAILROAD OFFICIALS:
beg to advise you of the fact that
"a couple of suspicious and rather seedy
looking individuals" have procured from
newspaper Office, in Topeka, a stamp,
containing the words, Texas Pacific Rail
load, Marshall, Tex, Dee. 10, 1881, Office
Master Machinery" do not not know
what their purpose may be i'm having this
stamp made but, as they are entirely un-
am sure it is no good one.
Please look out for them,
The name of the road is stated incor-
rectly on the stamp, and We have no such
office as that of Master Machinery"
II. Nj. HOME,
General Manager.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
It's Bad.

There are bad, worser, worsest streets IN
this dear town, but for an ability to out
do them all, Usage, between Fourth and
Fifth streets, corrals the cruller At the
point indicated by the above geographical
DE- ~cription, there is but a single track
with but single thought-that, to swamp,
drown, bury, every horse, and vehicle of
every kind, watch dare disturb its bottom
less bottom.
Tia. street is daisy, Tom, and don't
you take your girl out riding along there,
for il YOU do you'll never see her more.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
In MenOriam.

WHEREAS, The Supreme Master Work.
man of the universe has removed from our
ompaniOnship on earth our beloved
brother, Thomas S. Davis, worthy and
use al member of Amity lodge, No. 50, A.
y. L.. W.; therefore be it
Resolved. That by the death of Brother
Davis the lodge has lost one OF its most
active and devoted members, his wife a
most affectionate and considerable husband.
and the community a most useful and
energetic citizen.
Resolved. That while we tender to his
wife our deepest sympathy i'm
this her greatest earthly affliction, we are
vet conscious that no expression of it on
our part can assuage the grief that dwells
i'm her heart, or alleviate the anguish that
fortunes her soul.
Resolved, That copy of these resolu-
tio.Is be presented To the widow of our
deceased brother that they be spread upon
he minutes OF the lodge, and that copies
De furnished the Sedalia papers for publ
.alion; and furthe., that our charter be
iraped in mourning Tor the space of thirty
laws. W W. $ SSoDDY,
%. L. HowK, Com.
JOHN EVANS.
First oysters since the
blockade at Sichers'. 2-23drf
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Why Is This |?

1t is said there is a committee from the
board of aldermen on streets and alleys
Granting that there is such a committee,
the duties appertaining thereto must be
lucidly set forth. Then why is it that the
ugly and dangerous hole on Moniteau
street, caused by the late storm, has not
been filled up before this, especially as the
council so ordered I? Every night Officer
Kelly has to hang danger signal there.
and for three consecutive mornings he has,
found the light put out. The matter
should he attended to.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
SEARCHING FOR STILL.
A Vigilance Committee After
the City Marshal Of
Holden.
He Flees from tho Wrath to Come
and Arrives in Sc
dalia.

Special 70 the Basoo.
HOLDEN, Mo-, March IL.
Holden is in an uproar OF excitement to-
night. Last Wednesday . half-witted
young man named VIM. Emery proposed
to give . girl named Kate Lane, twelve
ysan Of age, nickel or some candy
II SHE WOULD KISS HIM.
She refused, and told what Emery had
said. He was arrested, Thursday morning,
charged with following the girl with evil
intent, and, after . trial, was fined eighteen
dollars and costs, amounting to twenty
two dollars and one half.
In the absence of the cash, he was
SENT TO THE CALABoOsE.
Thursday night party of ten citizens, sup
posed to be under the charge of Marshal II.
H. Still, went to the cslaboose and took
Emery out, giving him a severe horse
whipping and pounding him up terribly.
Emery lives north of town, and
THE VIGILANCE COMMITTEE
Of his neighborhood came to town to-day
and served a notice on Still, that if he did
not leave town tonight they would mob
him.
Still left on No. 4, not having the sand
to face his accusers, although he claims to
have had no hand in, or knowledge of, get
ting Emery out OF Jail.
Public opinion is high against Still.
STILL ARRIVES IN sEDALIA.
When Missouri Pacific train No. ar
rived last night, Marshal Still was about
the first passenger To step from coach
He was met by BAzoo reporter, and in
reply to the question rs to whether there
was anything new, said there was not. Be-
ing asked If he would spend the Sabbath
here, he replied that he thought not, but of
this he
WAS NOT CERTAIN.
He then walked east on the platform
and was lost To view.
On receipt OF the above special from
Holden, BAZOo reporter started out to
discover and interview Still. but he could
not be found. although several OF the hotels
we're visited. Ii he stopped over night, it
S more than probable he retired without
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

Smallpox has made its appearance at
Warrens. urg, accounting to q special dis
patch to the st. Louis Republican. wv.
Cummings. . negro Baptist preacher, ar
rived there several days ago from Jefferson
City, and on Sunday last preached to a
large congregation. On Monday he was
taken sick, and on Wednesday was all
broken out with smallpox. The city
council met on Friday night, and every
precaution was taken to prevent a spread
OF the disease. As the house where he is
confined is situated in the suburbs of the
town, and almost isolated, there is nothing
to be feared.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Sent Up for Five Years.

At Lexington, yesterday, George Dunn,
the bigamist, was sentenced to five years
imprisonment in the penitentiary.
Ii will be remembered that he married
young lady of Lexington about the first
OF February, and the same week deserted
her, going across the river to Ray county,
where he took unto himself wife No. >. He
was Immediately arrested, and since that
has been an inmate of the Lafayette county
iail.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

The conductors on the Denver & Rio
Grande were all discharged the other day
for knocking down" fares, and after inves-
tigating the matter they came to the con-
clusiOn that man named Duckworth. a
detective who had ben employed BY the
company IA a sort of irregular baggage
master, had informed upon them. So
they quietly took Duckworth into the
woods and hung him. He was cut down.
however. before he was dead, and sought a
healthier climate.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
SecOnd-Class Rates.

Mr.. F. Chandler, general passenger and
ticket agent for the Missouri Pscitc rail-
road, announces that the following second
class rates to Laredo. Texas, will 60 into
effect April 1: From St. Louis $50 %.
Hannibal S2975, Moberly S59.25, Kansas
City $29.75, Emporia S3O45, Junction City
S3l.95, Cairo $685., Columbia S29.25,
Memphis $3.50.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
It's Equal is Unknown.

A Lowell Mass paper, SO we observe,
cites the case of Mr.. p. III Short, proprie-
tor of the Belmont hotel, that city, who
suffered with rheumatism for seventeen
years without finding relief from any of
the numerous remedies employed, until lac
applied st. jacobs Oil 81 never found
any medicine that produced such renarka-
bic and instantaneous effect as it did"
says Mr.. Short.-Lyons la Mirror.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Prof. James A. Sewell, A.

-PfOI. James "A. O0W0II, n. ".
M. D., of MEDICAL FACULTY LAVAL
UNIVERSITY, Quebec, states have found
Goldens's Liebig's Extract of Beef
and Tonic Invigorator particularly
useful in advanced stages of Co.ssunpt.on,
weokness. dyspepsia, and all nervous affec-
tions. In pregnant momea it has been re-
tanned while every other article of food
was rejected. Palatable and easy of diges.
tion." Take no 0ther.)
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

Lydia +. Pinkham's Vegetable COM
pound, the great medicine for the cure of
all female complaints, is the greatest
strengthened of the back, stomach, nerves.
kidneys, urinary and genital organs of man
and woman ever known. Send for circu-
lars to Lydia f. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
WAS NOT CERTAIN.
Weakness Cured.

LYNN, Mass, Dec. Is, 1880.
gave that valuable medicine, Browns
Iron Bitters, To my sister for weakness.
After taking two bottles, she was aole to
walk and run as well rs ever. 1t is GER
tainly a wonderful tonic. WV. JONES.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Wanted.

Land to cultivate. Everything TO be
furnished. Have 10 family; only man and
wife. Good references given. Address NJ
Rsmey, Hughesyille, No. yIts
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Grateful to Invalids.

Floreston Cologne is grateful to inva-
lids, because it is refreshing without the
effect of most perfumes.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

WILL YOU SUFFER with Dyspepsia
and Liver Complaint? Shiloh's Vitalizer
is guaranteed to cure you. For sale by
all druggists.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

-Hale's Honey Horehound and
Tar will arrest every ailment of the lungs,
throat, or chest
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in
minute.
For the skin-Glenn's Sulphur
Soap.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

-CATARRH CURED, health and
sweet breath secured, by Shiloh's Catarrh
Remedy. Price 80 cents. Nasal Injector
free,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

Health and strength given to delicate
women, nursing mothers and infant child.
rem who use Browns Iron Bitters.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Weather Report.

Corrected daily for the BAzOo by c. 6.
Taylor, Horoiogist and Optician, No. 9
Ohio street, for the twenty-four hours end
Ing at 2 o'clock p. m, March 9, 1882.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-05-19
Bribery in English Elections.

Bribery in English elections is very
common, and by many is regarded as q
legitimate way to make votes. There is
much less constituencies upon this point
there than in this country. The Gov
eminent has found the evil growing on
its hands 80 rapidly that it has made up
its mind that nothing but the most strin-
gent remedies will answer. The At
torney Generals bill, 30 the cable has
informed us. contemplates DISTINGUISHING
wholly from the end of the present Par
lament. Gloucester, Macdesield and
Sandwich. At present the first and the
last each have one Liberal member. An
investigating committee has reported
that at the Sandwich election in May,
1880, there was not only great deal Of
indirect and partly concealed corruption,
but much direct bribery-open, extern
sive and systematic. The other places
would have about a. unsavory records.
In some cases individuals are to be per-
manently disfranchised. These measures
are harsh, but unless they are adopted
there seems to be no remedy, for public
opinion is yet to be created on the side
Of purity. It sheds little light on En-
glish electoral methods to learn that in
the recent special Parliamentary election
in the North Riding of Yorkshire, where
both parties put forth their best efforts,
only 1854 votes were cast, and the
known cost Of the election to the two
candidates was &15,046 or almost hve
dollars Der vote.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-05-19
IN me Ie,uld M. speak while he was in

from me e,uld noy speak while he Was IN
the room.
! must have turned pale, and gazed stead
tasty at the ghost, almost without seeing
Madeline, who sat between US.
.'Do you know" he cried, 'that John
Hiuckmanis coming up the hill! He will be
here ia III cen minutes, and you are doing
anything in the way Of love-maxing. you had
better hurry it up. Bat this IL not what /
came to tell you. have glorious news! At
last am transferred! No forty minutes ago
Russian nobleman was murdered by the Nj
hilists. Nobody ever thought Of him in con-
nection with an immediate ghostship. My
friends instantly applied for the situation for
me, and obtained my transfer. am OF now
before that horrid Hincxman comes up the
hill. The moment reach my new position,
snsll put Cd this hated semblance. Goodby.
You can't imagine how glad / am to be, at
last, the real ghost of somebody"
''O" cried, rising to my feet and stretch
Ing out my arms in utter iwretehedness, 81
would to Heaven you were mine''
81 am yours" said Madeline, raising to me
her fearful eyes.-Frd,k x. Stockton, n Ces-
turY Adg0zii.e
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-05-19
The Race Between Vests and Scarfs,

The gradual disappearance of mems
neckwear Is one of the most singular
circumstances of modern times. Not
many years ago some philosopher dis
covered that the practice prevailing
among men Of putting from three 10
seven shirts . week into the wash was
reducing multitudes to beggary and
keeping others in comparative indulgence,
and started much-needed movement
toward economy in this respect by in
venting the g flat scarf" This article
was ct first about ten inches in length
by nix in width, and comfortably. filled
up the space left open by even the low
est cut vests. Appreciating the fact that
the purchase Of such prodigious struct-
.ures inflicted quite q onerous burden
upon necessitous young men as the
rapacity of washerWomen had aforetime
done, the humane inventor began to re-
duce the size of them. the result being
that the human vest, following q familiar
law of nature, began to add more but
tons to itself and to leave, year by year,
less space about the neck of the wearer.
At present the fat scarf il Of most
diminutive proportions, and vests are
practically hermetically closed at the
top. What will be the next step in this
scheme of development remains to be
seen, but at all events the original pur-
pose of the inventor of the fat scarf Is
shown by statistics at the laundries to
have been triumphantly gained. This
subject presents opportunities Tor still
further. learned u discrlsniOn. - Boston
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-05-19
a WOlMAN'S ARGUMENT.

Outside it was dreary and cold and wet,
And Larry lounged happily in its glow
ana talked of his farm and the men to hire;
" me seed and soil and the planting days,
u ms boys and girls and their pleasant ways;
While low in her rocking chair BY his side
Their mother sat sewing with busy skill;
mere were stockings and coats and frocks to
But her needle worked With right rood win
ill some one knocked at the door and then
Her parlor was crowded with eager men.
sThey wanted Larry-he must not refuse
The Party on overy good man had q claim,
And the club had got m st important news,
WHICH an they must discuss or be much to
And. indeed, stranger might well have
That the country had been both sold and
Then Larry stood up With an anxious. look,
BUT It'll Ls saa sad; What e it ell about?
And husbands are Tar better in than out"
wen Mistress, you can't Understand the case,
But we want the right man in the right place"
Then Lizzie looked up with gracious smile
agree with you, friends. and I'll tell you
It's a principle full of rare good sense
And exactly suits both Larry and I,
Only this is the way state the case:
The right man. Misters, in the right placs
II husband at home in the epcninQr'
They bowed to the wife with candid smile,
And one Of them answered.: MEN never
would roam
II all of us had such pleasant wife,
If all of US had such cheerful home,
And Larry would be neither happy nor right
If he left his wife and his home tonight"
And then when the house was quiet again
Larry stopped low to his wife's pretty face:
"Dear little woman, 80 wise and so true,
You have made out Q most excellent case;
There's daytime for duty Of every kind,
And you may be sure you will always find
Your husband at home in the EVENING""
Lille e. Barr, in Our Continent