Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-04-06
ALL SORTS.

DeeoS are fruits; words but leaves.
Calamity is mans true touch-stone.
path. - a
Hopes are raised higher than corn.
stalks. 'A soAA-
Too good to keep-Florida straw
berries.
The paper hangers business is yerv
stuck up.
Advocates of improved husbandry-
old maids.
What kind of hen lays the longestp
A dead hen.
A lover has all the qualities hus-
band has not.
An honest man is the noblest pur.
suit of woman.
We have often seen statue of Clay
made of bronze.
A fool and an accordion are both
easily drawn out.
Does girl cudgel her brains every
time she baLgs her hair?
What fruit reminds you of saddle
horse? The canter lOpe.
The telephone tells its own story,
and its sound one at that.
A man may smile and smile at q
public bar, and still be film himself.
Why are book keepers like chickens?
Because they have to scratch for liv-
ing.
A cigar is perhaps the only thing
that is destroyed by being pulled too
freely.
What is that which no man wishes
to have and no man wishes to loser A
bald head.
When the landlord presents bill
for extras he claims that it is not only
fare, but above beard.
A mailed knight must have required
a good many postage stamps 10 carry
him through successfully.
The girl who has two strings TO her
bow dOsen't feel unstrung because she
happens to lose one Of them.
If 3 man knew as much about him
self as he does about his neighbcs, he
would never speak to himself.
An Iowa merchant. won't advertise
in the papers, but paints on the fease,
Go two Aliens for yer dri goods"
"What is that man yelling att" in
quired Tommy of his younger brother.
"At the top of his voice." replied the
little one.
A man running for Office in Texas
was detected drinking water, and was
defeated 5y the biggest majority evey
known in the district.
Under the microscope hair has
rough edges like rasp. No wonder
then that a young mans mustache Of
ten tickleSa girls pose.
They are laughing at travelling;
who complained, in Syra-
cuse, III cahn't get me luggage, for.I
lost me byasses, You know"
A man was sent to the penitentiary
for washing, stamps so that they might
be'used again. The government does
nothing to encourage cleanliness and
1t is, s&id that at learning to swim
women, are quicker than raen. This.
IS probably because the custom of
wearing trails has learned them to kick
out gracefully.
There are thrse prominent phases
Of young wornans life, AL visibly~
e0nnectelc-As baby, she's lugged;
as a young. woman, she's Rugged; as a.
wife, she's humbugged."
Il never argy agin a success" says
Artemus> Ward! when 500 a rattle
snaix's he'd sticking out Cfa hole,
bear off to the eft and say to myself.
That hole belongs to that snaix."
An e7changs,says that mao is very
much like an. egg. Yes, peer man, he,
carries his yoke around with, him, andi
has to shell out every time his house,
keeper gives,him rap on tae head.
Don't stand ON ceremony come in. -
said a. lady to an old farmer, as she
openetbthe door," "Why, ag goodnesse
Excuse me, na'am, l thought all
along L was standin' on tie door matt
1t g. estimated that if a man lives 70
be seventy years old he passes at least
twenty.fOus years in sleep. So You
see q. man Is "a pretty goo6a sort of fol-
low one tAiEd of the time, bad as ne
may be the remaining two-thirds. Bet
us De cha5ltaDle.
A forisrnlOoking man said, live
tried everything that I could turn my
hand to, but couldn't make anything
answer : and now l have decided I'd go
Up, amoag the hills, where they say
there's wonderful echo, to see if I
can MAZE that answer"
Oscar Wilde, paying q morning visit
ito lady surprised her busting some
articles OF certu too precious to be in
trusted to any hands but hes own.
'"Ohr' said he, what unnecessary
laborf Dust should never be removed.
1t is the bloom of time"
The strong-minaed way: Uader the
influence of spring evening, noon
shine, and other romantic surround
ings, Putney boating man was led on
to ask a pretty but stYOng-minded
InIx 20 -.