Smyrna times., 1882-08-30
WHOLE NO. 1,4l7.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

80 - A'i-A-A nh ~ A@-NA-NN NI@hSs
What are the best malarial antidotes
known ?-GeOrge. Soap and water,
lime and temperance pledges.
Progress thinks that Independent
arguments should be met with argu-
ments. The only argument we have
heard from the Independents yet is:
D-n Cameron"
y poor tramp crawled into the rooms
of Il bank at Bangor and slept there all
night. The bank officers now think of
purchasing a wooden bar or something
to hold the door shut.
Lille Hinton, in one of her interest
ing letters to Progress, refers to Lon
don as the stomach and Edinburgh as
the brain of the British empire" New
Workers always copy LondOners, never
Edinburghers.
\ correspondent at Mount Desert
/ tells of lady's dress that is perfect
/ dream The nightmare part of the
business was probably enjoyed by
the man vino paid for the dress.-,I.
Louis Post Dispatch.
/ war correspondent tclegraphS from
Egypt that the widest stories imagin-
able are afloat, and therefore without
foundation" Did anybody ever hear
of anything with foundations that was
atioat ?-Bo@tOR Post.
A North Carolinaian has this year sold
$1,000 worth of potatoes, all of which
he raised on his own land. From the
price of potatoes it is reasonable to
suppose that the land referred to was
his front yard. IIWmingtOA Ners.
4 lady writing from England COM
plains that the restaurant walters there
t always wait on the gentlemen first.
Perhaps the walters have learned from
} experience that Il man generally knows
| what he wants as soon as he sits down.
+ 1t is said that the wealthiest city in
o the United States, in proportion to
+ population, is Portland, Oregon. The
: weather there is so bad during six
g months in the year that the people can't
4 get out to spend anything, and, of
course. riches accumulate.
II II 1t has been found that sparrows will
II eat caterpillars They never did object
" NtllCA liiisll lllOtll9 bul lAlON NAlSllNN
! their hairy covering. and now careful
e experiments have proved that spar
= row will gobblc up caterpillars Just as
y fast rs Il man can skip them.
he 1t never pays for two young men to
c fight about u girl. Nine girls out of
Il. ten invariably nurse and marry the
he one who gets whipped, while the victor
n always finds that no other girl wants
ed a fellow who has made such a fool OF
y himself over that horrid Miss -'
1t 1t is declared that some of the
to numerous runaways at Long Brancl
,es are intentional, the parties letting thei
;es horses 60 in order to be " talked about,
but we do not believe this. Th
nv probability is that the horses reall.
IRE and truly do their best to get ava.
as from the dog carts and other Englis
er- denominations to which they are hitch
he ed
- = At every station on the Russian rail
~ roads is a grievance book, III which tn
@ ,n,, traveller may inscribe his wrongs
L. any language he likes, and which
the the periodically read by the authoritie
IN 1t would not do to try that plan Q
. = SOME vi lllC lOduS III Nhlo NOOAAbA
~, = The expense of furnishing books ;
ono ",, fast as the pages were filled wou
tho & bankrupt them in month.
~ The Louisville Courier Journal say:
~" ira THE temperance people of Kentuck
Iio ~ have found that they only have 3,7'
-. ~. liuuor-dealers to contend with Ton
We ,'.a third of them are in this city,l viii
We Indiana has 5,199 and Deacon Smith
We Ohio 1896" This, however, prov
: to,,, ~ nothing In Kentucky every man
'S tSn4 his own saloon-keeper and go
,I1'; ,n;' many are their own distillers.
;dlt I ne The suggestion of the New York S
i+,S tI,o that every locomotive should have
III fmt pilot, whose sole duty it should be
an nti' watch the track ahead, is being quot
~ ttl1 ~ by other papers as if they thought
:. o.,iI ~ idea new one. This plan is almost
o"lu old as railroads, and was originally 81
VI gested by Punch. PWnch's pilot wa'
railroad director, and his seat was
the cOwcatcher.