Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-11-10
NEWSPAPER WIT.

nm, vinegar, vitriol and victory" is
the motto of a new Bismarck (Dskota)
newspaper. Whisky, wampum, worriment
and wind will be Its cognate features.
Peoria Transcript
a case of hydrophobia, it is alleged, has
been developed in New York by the use of
tobacco. Next We know foiks'll be having
dellrium tremens from drinking butter.
milk.-[Boston Post.
The other night an amateur prize fighter
was killed by mule in Fayetteville. Ark.
Barnum wants the mule, but the people OF
the town are unwilling to part with him.
Arkansaw Traveller.
some marry Tor love, and some for money,
And some the Lord knows why:
Some ind the land of milk aud honey
Some nothing but dried apple pie
-lChicago Cheek
Long Branch ladies must do something
to while away the time, SO they play poker
Hubby supplies the stakes, but he limo.
Gently thinks that he is paying for dresses
carriage hire, etc. Boston Globe.
The Detroit Free Press man has evi.
IDENTIFY got into trouble again. He writes :
American women have got through
waiting for their husbands to come home
from the lodge. "-[Courier. Journal.
Tie editor of the Hartford Courant saws
We catch about J, SS5, 900 pounds of food
fish year" This is at least forty pounds
more than is caught by any editor in Nor.
ristown. The Hartford man mus. spit on
his bait. Il Norristown Herald.
There is rich young man at Newport
who does not belong to the casino, who
don play polo, who never was on roller
skates, never owned yacht, and never
drove fourth hand He must have made
his money himself Philadelphia News.
She was Cleveland lady, and she stood
watching boat loaded with ice. ssWhat
is that boat loaded with ?" "Ice." was
the reply. "On, my ' she exclaimed, in
surprise, Z" if the horrid stuff should melt.
the water would sink the boat !'-T Boston
Advertiser.
Definition of loot Student wants to
know what is meant by the word "loot y
In the war dispatches. Why, lutte is a
thing with strings that you strum with
your fingers. Hence, anything that you
can get your fingers on to, that's loot
burlington Hawkeye.
Flies that can pass themselves off as
nuckleberries have not lived in vain
The slanderers are the men whom Darwin
means. For all time they have been, and
are still talebearers This world is a
tally-ho coach, and the man who blows the
horn attracts the most attention. -TWhite
hall Times.
| Would it not be good idea to corral all
the dry-goods drummers and book agents
In the country and send them off to foreign
chimes as missionaries? They may succeed
In talking savages into religion but, if
they couldn't, and the savages should eat
them mp, they would get considerably the
worst of it, and the country would be bet
ter of. This was written by the obituary
/ editor. Puck.
| What is it thati known so well?
| Let every one his praise go tell
| Who knoweth how to keep hotel?
| Tne landlord.
Who meets each guest with smiling face?
| Who's rich in bGnhOInie and grace?
| Inc right man who in the right place?
| The landlord.
Who knoweth every one fe meets
| who cordially all corners greets?
| But who is down on hotel beats?
| The landlord.
| Whose house is open every day
| That all mankind quite freely NAV
Come in and eat their fill IL they
| Have got the ready cash to pay?
| The landlord.
\