News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-09-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

is the mark of pretty mind, and IL al
most always happens that he who uses
it 10 cover himself in one place, uncoV
ers himself in another.-La Rochefou'
cauld. =.
A NATURALIST has discovered that II
takes house-fy vedays to hatch from
the egg. People who had supposed tha'
it didn't take five minutes thus hnd
themselves way of.-Detro" FREE
Press.
ONE Of the regular exercises at nor
NAL schools is writing words from dio-
tation and giving their meaning. one
of the words given out was "hazard-
ous," which the young lady pupii
spelled hazardness," and de'lneo y
female hazard. ."-Boston Journal.
The orator answered "What is the
key to this great mystery OF death =
solemnly inquired the orator, pausing
impressively. And the man in the front
seat who had been coughing all the
evening huskily replied that he recx-
oned it must be skeleton key.-Bttr-
Hngto'1 HaaOkeye.
AT TrouvilIe-M Nine. de @. to her hus-
band, who comes home at four o'clock
in the morning: "At what time did you
get IN this morning ?" "About mid
night, dearest, about midnight-a few
minutes after, perhaps" Yes, 24O
minutes after-I counted them !"
The obliging visitor, to show that he
really is fond of children aud that the
dear little one is not annoying him in
the least, treats the kid to ride upon
his knee. "Trot trot t-ot How do
you bike that, my boy? Is that nlce%
"Yes, sir" replies the child, "but not
so nice as ON the real donkey-the one
with four legs r.
A SUDDENLY rich and very muscular
young man from the oil regions stopped
at sea side hotel the other day for the
first time, and had great difficulty in
getting anything to eat. A sympathiz
ing stranger at his elbow whispered,
" You will starve here if you don't tip
the waiter" Two minutes afterward
the waiter found himself tipped over on
the floor. The young man did not
starve. philadelphia NeaOs.
A PAPER published up in Western
Congressman's district tells story that
is good deal at his expense. When
young man he was proprietor of livery
stable, and had big sign painted rep
resenting himself holding mule by the
bride. Is that a good likeness of
me?' he asked an admiring friend.
" Yes it is a perfect picture of you.
But who is the fellow holding you by
the bride %
He lisped, and his name was Mr.. Carr,
and one of his family being i'll late in
the night he ran to the drug store and
rang the night-bell. A head appeared
at the third-story window, and a voice
demanded, " Who's there ?" " Mis-ta-
Car" was the reply. 81 can't help
that; take the next car p and bang
went the window. Repeated rings had
no effect, and Mis-ts-Car cannot be
convinced of the sanity of that druggist.
AT Montreal thief went into the hall
of hotel while the boarders were at
supper and gathered up all the hats.
He was making his way out when
boarder, little behind time, came in
and asked him what he was about.
4" Oh" says the thief, "Pm taking the
hats around to Leary's to
get smoothed." "Well," replied the
"take my hat, too" Seer
tainly, SIR" said the accommodating
thief, and vanished.
DIALOGUE in a summer hotel in Rhode
Island at midnight, recently "Ma P''
" What dear ?" els that you, ma ?"
" Yes, dear" Spa p" Z" What, dear 2''
g Is that you, pa p :" Yes, dear, "Good
night, ma" "Good night, DEAR"
+" Good night, pa" Good night,
dear" The dialogue had been repeated
at intervals of fifteen minutes for two
hours, when an elderly mau in an adjacent
room, who had been trying to sleep all
the time, rolled out of bed with thud,
climbed up in TO the transom, and put
ling his head out, shouted out at the
;op of his lungs eyes, it's me, NAV,
and it's me, paw; now go TO sleep, you
title brat, or I'll come in there and
,hew you up Five minutes later
,alm brooded over the house.-Boston
Globe.