The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-07-14
Wit and Wisdom.

Wit and Wisdom.
A Pittsburgh paper said ''the great want OF
the Democratic party is policy and az soon
as that paper struck Hartford, sxty-nine in
surance men packed their bags and started for
Pittsburgh in search of that ''party. Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Before dancing put your feet in good order
by using German Corn Remover. 25c. Sold
by druggists.
A Boston lecturer astonished his audience By
bringing down his fist on the table shouting,
"Where is the religiosity of the anthropoid
quadrumana?" If he thinks we have got it he
can search us. We never saw 1t in the world"
-Peck's Sun.
We do not know where Guiteau is. The
Domestic is at II Elm street.
The full term of three years had nearly ex-
PRED, and they were discussing at the break
fast table the certainty that they must move
and the uncertainty as to where, when the
young miss of the parsonage drew heavy
sigh. :"Oh, was thinking what a mistake
mother and 1 made when we married meth-
odist minister
It Heads the List.
OF ali other preparations of medicines. In cases
of nausea, headache, dizziness or Irregularities
of the system, BURDoCK BLOOD BITTERs have
no equal They never fail in affording imme-
diate relief Price 81 CO., trial size 10 cents
A little girl who ran home from school, all
out OF breath, said: ooh, please, ma, may
get married and have a husband?" My
child" exclaimed the astonished mother,
"don't let me hear such words from yon
again." "Well, then, may l have piece OF
bread and butter and go out to play III the
back yard?'
The fairest faces are sometimes marTed by
myriads of pimples and markings OF letter Or
freckles, which are readily removed by pop
ular toilet dressing known as DR.. G. W. Ben
sons Skin Cure. Even scrofulous ulcers yield
to it.
A man should not resign-even an umbEel-
la-while under a cloud New Orleans Plea
yune.
The cid need them for strength; the young
want them for tonic; the sick crave them to
get WE'LL the we'll take them to remain so; dys-
peptics need them for relief; epcures like
them as an appetizer; everybody takes Hops
and Malt Bitters.
1t is a terrible come-down for man to fall
out of a balloon and he obliged to walk home.
New Orleans Picayune.
Horsfords ACID Phosphate as a Brain
Tonic.
DIR. E. w. ROBERTSON, Cleveland, O.,
says: "From my experience can cordially re-
commend it as brain and nerve tonic. espec-
tally in nervous debility, nervous dyspepsia,
etc., etc.
A Vicksburg Miss COW stuck her tongue
through lattice work and vicious mule bit
off four inches of it. Don't stick your tongue
out at mule.
The celebrated Vegetable Compound for fe-
males, which, within few years, has made
the name of Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham known
in every Fart of the civilized world, relieves
suffering by thesafe and sure method of equal
izng the vital forces and thus regulating the
organic functions. 1t is only by such asmethod
that disease is ever arrested and removed.
A bunion is spoken OF nobby thing in low
cut shoes-New Orleans Picayune.
Beautiful skim and fair complexion, robust
health, and powers Of endurance follow the
use of Browns Iron Bitters
A Philadelphia paper says that at Lafayette
college is an immense horn formerly used 10
awaken the students with. The Harvard stu
dents use "an immense horn to this day to
wake themselves with in the morning. 1t is
called in Latin Ginabus Koktalabus.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Many of the Bitters advertised as tonics are
simple cathartics. Wheat Bitters is not ca
thartic.-E. P. RUSSELL NJ. d.
An exchange says that our Navy is still in
its Infancy, which would justify the assertion
that the vessels are seldom seea out OF their
slps.-Yonkers Statesman.
To allay pain and cure diseases use Tue law
orite household remed, Hop Plaster.
Seven hundred and sixty newsboys and one
newsgirl partook of the dinner given by George
W. Childs in Paramount Park, Philadelphia,
on Tuesday. She was only newsgirl, to be
sure. But oh, We besilked and beieweled.
DANES of high degree, think OF the ecstacy OF
bo;,, fI,a ohipct 0f the attention OF IDU OF
the male sex!-Boston Post.
Periodical pain, back ache, cramps, ETC., are
impossible to those who use Healy's Vegetable
Tonic Cordial. See advt. on this page
CEpHALINE is certain, allays Nervous lrrita-
bility and sleeplessness.