davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
SCOTCH IMMIGRATION.

Scotch paper, in dealing with the sub
iect of Scotch emigration, says that it shows
some remarkable features in comparison to
the emigration from England and Ireland.
Last year the increase of emigration from
Ireland was larger than from the United
Kingdom generally, ii showing about 9 per
cent more than the increase for England
and Ireland over the previous year. 1t says
that the tide of emigration from Scotland
has flowed with remarkably steady increase
since 1860. The increase the most steady
and regular is toward this country, to which
Scotland has contributed gradually aug
mented number of settlers The Scottish
creased since the time of the gold excite
ment. sit is, however" says our contem-
porary, Sin the records of emigration to
all other places that Scotland stands most
alone. Within the past year the Scotch en-
igrants for these destinations more than
doubled themselves in number" From this
fact it is argued that the spirit of adventure
is driving more Scotchmen to explore fresh
regions and make new settlements, while
the Irish tendency is to drift in the same
channel and in the direction of the United
States But the Scotch can satisfy their
love for adventure in this country without
going to other places. In the unexplored
regions of the great West is field which
cannot be explored and opened up to civil
ization for century to come. Let the tenn
ing population of the Old World come and
find home here
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
ORIGIN OF ELECTRIC TELEGRAPH.

In a biographical sketch of the late DR..
Gale the Washington correspondent of the
Louisville Course7, Journal says: Having
graduated at Union, and completed course
of study at the College of Physicians and Sur
geons in New York, DIR. Gale became assist
ant to the chemical professor, Dr. John Tor
rey, in the same institution, making all the
experiments for the classes, and acting in
this capacity from 1927 till 1882, when, on
the breaking out of the cholera, he was placed
in charge of the palanquin that traversed the
streets to pick up the sick and the dead and
convey them to hospital on Twenty-ffth
street. The same year was founded the New
York University DR.. Torrey having de-
clined the professorship of clssmistry, DR.
Gale was chosen to fill the place, and le
opened the University as teacher of che.
istry and geology, there being no other
teacher in the University at that time. This
position he held five years. Mr.. Samuel
Finley Breese Morse, an artist of fine repute,
then studying in Europe, had been appointed
professor of literature and fine arts. Return
ing to America to accept the new position
that gentleman improved his leisure on
board the packet ship Su1ly in deyising
machine to transmit messages, to be operated
by electricity, with apparatus for recording
by dots and dashes. Professor Morse was
man of liberal education, not only a painter
but also sculptor, accustomed to habits of
close observation as well as possessing that
happy complement of culture of the intellect
skill of hand, SO that when an idea was
once suggested he was able by his plastic
skill to give it practical expression in his
machine He had mechanical ingenuity and
he had been observing magnetic machines in
Europe but his knowledge of science was
not extensive, and though he had felicitous
classical style, he had not the technical
language of science at his command not
withstanding he had bestowed intense
thought on his new invention.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
walnut Leaf Hair aestorer.

1t is entirely different from all others.
1t is as clear as water, and, as its name
indicates is perfect Vegetable Hair
Restorer. 1t will immediately free the
head from all dandruff, restore gray hair
to its natural color, and produce a new
growth where it has fallen off Tt does
not in any manner affect the health,
which Sulphur, Sugar Of Lead, and Nj
trate of Silver preparations have done. 1t
will change light or faded hair in few
days to beautiful glossy brown. Ask
your druggist for it. Each bottle is war
ranted. SMITH KLINE & CO., Whoesal
Agents, Philadelphia and c. N CRIT
TENToN, New York
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12

| MONUMENTS. HEADsToNEs. POSTS. MAN
Tells BUILDING MARBLE, AND
FLAGST0NE.
8a- Designs constantly on hand, and the work
executed in the best manner and of first class
terial
Sole agency for The Patent New Style GENE
Terry LOT ENCLOSURE. 1t is better and cheaper
than the plain pipe railing
Mar. 9, 1881
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12

SOMEWHAT MIXED. "A gentleman who had
spent half the winter at Washington endeav-
oring to get private bill through Congress,
returned to the bosom of his family sadder
and wiser man. Shortly after his arrival
he was met by friend, who greeted him
warmly with: "Glad to see you back
again. How about your bill?n "Bill-
bill ?" said the disappointed solicitor, con-
iusedly, with dim recollection Of an en-
counter with the hotel keeper. ~ left it
unpaid. - Brooklyn Eagle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
WHAT A DRUMMER SAYS.

Five years ago the leading merchants OF
st. Louis took pride in having well-paid,
experienced drummers on the road, who
brought an enormous run of trade. Salaries
then averaged $4,000 year and expenses,
and there had developed in this city an en-
terprising crowd of tradesmen. Many were
receiving $4,000 a year, and more than
earned their salaries AT the first attack of
dullness the drummers' salaries were reduc-
ed and their work discouraged, so that to-
day the compensation scarcely averages
$500 year. Merchants argued that if a
commercial man who received So, 1000 year
could be displaced for one willing to labor
for 81 800 year, clean saving of one
half would be effected, forgetting that the
old drummers could travel for at least SO a
day less and secure 20 per cent. more trade
than the cheaper man."
land what followed ?n
Results the most natural and certain.
The leading drummers found better posi-
tons in Chicago, and were sent into Nilsson
ri on their old trails.
=" What line of goods pays the highest sal
aries to commercial travellers p
1.-THE clothing houses, for their profits
are larger. Standard houses, dealing in such
necessaries as dry goods and groceries, sell
OH narrow margins and must have an enor-
nous business to make anything like an
equal profit. There are some specialties that
pay better than clothing houses, such as
silver-plated ware, diamonds, and the like.
| travelled for number of years for the
Meriden Silyerware Company, of Connect
cut, with territory extending south from
the Ohio Kiyer and west of the Mississippi.
In that enormous territory, where obtained
business of $4,000, the profits of the
company were equal to those of the dry
goods house that obtained $3.50 worth Of
trade. Thus we had only to get one-fourth
of dry goods trade in order to equal their
profits. st. Louis Globe Democrat
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12

BAD BEGINNING. Uncle Mace and Aunt
Sukey, his wife, were out ON Austin Avenue
buying some things few days ago. The
old woman bought handkerchief, the color
of which did not suit Upcle Mace, and he
said angrily: "Yer has made a poor choice.
Yer hain't got no taste.' 81 know l had
bad taste, but de fust poor selecshun made
vas when tuck you. "-Iszos SJtings
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
ITgf0 gL-ET
:. ~. eSAS TO ADVERTISERS.

Advertisers will find The RECORD good advertising medium. 1t
cues the class Of people that wanted customers and
the rates reasonable which be learned upon application the
Office either personally OR by letter
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
Wednesday, July IL, 1882.

JOB TRoTTER.
JOB Trotter was a jockey who
Was honest as the day;
His horse was very harnessed, too.
And never ran away.
Upon bay Job never rowed
let he rode ON bay;
He never owed along the road,
Although he did all day.
Once at bride party free
He gave the bride pup,
And told his wife next day that he
Just gave a gallop up.
He never would indorse note,
Yet he would often say,
''Of course Will lend horse an oat;
He'll PAGER, won'the7 Haypt
one day while In driving rein,
Job caught colt, of course,
And In his livery had pain,
And fell To talking horse.
His wife she tried race-horses all
To cure him OF his whoa.
ss0hl Job, it's hard to part" she'd bawl,
"Big horseshoe love me so.n
In horse-bit-al Job would have died
Had not one Of his cronies
From a decanter him supplied
With spirited young ponies"
Jobs stable had some thorough bread,
Which in O charcoal
Sometimes In nag-ony he said
A nightmare he would get.
AZ MAST 500 'Yrotter run MS course
In human race and died,
And got behind his weeping horse
To undertaken ride.
Horse-chustnuts grow above his head;
Horse-radish at his feet:
And on his turf but grassy bed;
Jobs trotter stands--to eat
II. @. Dodgetn Norristown Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
SPE 9 L A Il N OTI 9 Fl.
We have ample facilities all kinds
n Mercantile Printing. ~E>sg


promptly
so
with the he 88a8as
The its
good satisfaction all - st s
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12
HE FORGOT THAT.

After he had explained that the old wo-
man was bound and determined to have q
new bedroom carpet, and that being he was
in town, he thought he'd take it home and
surprise her, he added that he wanted
enough Inham carpet to cover room seven
by eleven.
"You mean ingram, said the dealer.
''Well, spose it's all the same How
much is that piece ?"
Seventy cents yard"
lawful steep, but kinder purity How
long will it wear2p
"0h, ten or twelve years"
Can it be turnedf"
"Yes."
Anything to get out of repair n
Nothing
"Will the colors fade 2"
"They are warranted not to-"
Seventy cents yard, eh ? Well, rattle,
like it. Can the old woman sew it togeth.
er?"
"oh, yes"
"And can nail it down, reckon2"
/" You CAM
The number of yards required were cut
OF, rolled up and paid for, and the buyer
soon departed Two hours had passed and
his call had been forgotten, when he drove
up to the store, leaped to the walk, and
rushing in he called out:
"Hang me, if hadn't got four miles out
of town when suddenly remembered that
didn't ask you if the blamed thing would
wash !"--Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12

The novel police system adopted by
Chicago year and half ago is said to
have proved perfectly successful. The
city is divided into twenty-four districts,
in each of which is depot containing
three policeman, wagon and four horses.
Throughout the city are police boxes,
looking like the old-fashi0ned sentry
boxes, and provided with telegraph signals
and telephones. The door is kept locked
but can be opened by anybody needing
police aid, keys being literally distributed
among stores and residences. Private in
dividuals can thus send an alarm by tele-
graph, just as we transmit fire calls In
New York city. Each key is numbered
and registered, and after being used to
open box, is held fast in the lock until
released by policeman. Thus mis-
chievously false alarms are detected.
When an alarm is received at depot, the
police on duty there drive quickly to the
box in response. The telephones are used
by patrolmen to make periodical reports,
and thereby roundsmen are done away
with, and every man is directly under the
control of his captain. When q patrolman
makes an arrest, he does not desert his
beat, but calls the wagon to take the
prisoner away. Householders may have
private signal boxes by paying the cost.
The Superintendent declares that his
force is much better controlled than be-
fore, that crimes are fewer, that criminals
are more easily caught, and that the ex-
pense is no greater.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-12

The poet who can sing the song of the
peanut must needs have powerful mag.
nation. as well as strong powers of diqes-
ton. II is indelibly associated with hand
wagon dealers and "fresh roasted. five
cents pint or with the auditoriums OF
cheap places of amusement. The peanut
rarely finds its yay TO the social circle. nm
less il may be in the pocket of the most
juvenile member. 1t is never seen as a
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
a FIJI HUNT.

I now began to make havoc among a
colony of flies who had apparently
spent their lives in obtaining from the
window panes some occult flavor which
is not perceptible to our coarser palates.
1 made three captives, who were passed
beneath the muslin door of the jar with
q little sleight of hand. The appear
ance of these flies was my next subject
of observation. They each had an indi-
viduality which I did not till then know
that flies possessed. Their department,
their figures, their very moral tone, had
a distinct stamp; yet there was har-
monious something which united char
acters SO different. The first had a
fluffy appearance, his body looked sod
den, and he behaved in fat and sensual
manner. He took the grossest pleasure
in warming his ventral surface ON the
side of the jar toward the sun. He
slipped the sweets Of life to excess. and
had lost that activity a fly ought to
possess. Alas! his career rendered
him unfit to battle in the struggle for
existence. He became the spiders first
meal.
The second fly had but one wing. He
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
STORIES WITHOUT MORALS.

There could be no question but that
John could make a better shoe than
James. A shoe made by John would
outlast two made by James but James
had happy way of knocking leather
together which produced work fair to
look upon. A customer buying pair
OF Johns shoes came not again for a
year or more, because of the durability
OF the shoes; but he who purchased a
pair made by James came again quickly.
The employer of the two men perceiv-
ing this sent John about his business
and rewarded James with increased
wages. John had genius for making
shoes, but James possessed tact. This
was the difference between the two men.
II.
Charles spent all his time reading, so
that in time he came to know more than
I can tell you; James, on the contrary,
read little or nothing. But James had
the gift of CAB. To be sure, ne had
nothing to say, and, although he con-
tinualiy kept saying it, nobody was
obliged to listen. Charles, notwith-
standing his comprehensive knowledge,
seldom spoke. If Charles had been en-
dowed with loquaciousness his friends
would have been obliged to listen, which
would have awakened interest among the
people who are more proficient with
their mouths than their ears. James is
in receipt of $40, 900 per year; Charles
pecuniary variety. His wealth will be
buried with him. James wealth will &c
to his heirs, if there be any when he
leaves.
Ill
Adolphus is good boy. He never
quarrels. Rather than fight he would
permit any indignity to be heaped upor
him. But Richard was Of pugnacious
disposition. This propensity has be-
come SO intense that when he plays al
marbles the other boys allow him te
beat them. They would rather be beat
en- in the game than in another way
Adolphus, however is so peaceable thai
the boys cheat him right along; they
knock off his hat and play all sorts O.
practical jokes upon him. Adolphus il
a good boy and is the cause of much
pleasure 10 his mates while Richard
gives them small opportunity for enjoy
ment.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
THE CHLORAL HABIT.

The very extensive and habitual use
OF seductive, drowsy drugs bearing Gov
eminent passports particularly choral
In the unobserved undercurrents of
the domestic life of our times is, per
haps, little generally known, but that it
is very extensive and daily increasing
evil, much encouraged and greatly
facilitated by the present condition of
the medicine license acts, is beyond
doubt or question, and a custom and
habit known to medical men as the
"chloral habit" is thus engendered,
more enslaving and more fraught with
sad results than the habits of alcohol
drinking or opium eating. The first
dose may perhaps be prescribed in the
ordinary course Of physicians attend
ance, and the prescription is carefully
treasured; more frequently, however,
the weary, the wakeful and heavy-laden
are allured by tempting advertisements
of the miraculous effects of Government
stamped bottles, to be obtained of all
grocers and chemists, etc. The effect of
the first dose is probably charming an
other dose on the next occasion is equal
~ satisfactory. No dangerous effects
being indicated on the label, no particu-
lar danger is suspected, and by degrees
the habitue resorts to it until it becomes
a nightly necessity. After a time the
customary result is not experienced, anu
not infrequently in the middle of the
night, by familiarity become bold, the
habitue, after hours of weary tossing,
with trembling hand pours out another
Tablespoonful or few more drops, as
the label directs, and drinks it of. The
desired effect and more is now produced;
coma ensues for sixteen, twenty, or even
more hours, greatly to the alarm of sur
rounding friends, and not infrequently
the consequences are such as to necessi-
tate the services of the Coroner. From
the happy, united family circle Of yes
ternight one is absent from the break
fast table the following morning. Asud-
den change comes over the wonted
cheerfulness of the home. The bright
morning sunlight is dimmed, the tread
of every step is altered, and every voice
is subdued and anon the festive cham
Der of the house is converted into court
of inquiry, with all it's solemn and SOM
Der parapherhalia, and after short and
tender deliberation the final and sooth-
ing verdict of Misadventure by an
overdose of chloral' is entered. Mac
sy,i11D1'e N0O0Si2p
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
DISCOVERY OF THE CROCODILE IN
FLORIDA.

DISCOVERY OF THE CROCODILE IN
FLORIDA.
Recent investigations have shown that
the crocodile is to be found In the less,
frequented parts of Florid, "a where it has
long been COMPOUNDED with the alligator,
and single specimen is now among the
collection Of reptiles of the Smithsonian
Institution. The great point of differ
ence between crocodiles and alligators is
that the former live in saltwater bayous
or creeks near the sea, while latter are
found only in the fresh-water streams.
The crocodile, cayman, gavial and alli-
gator are all types of one group, the
crocodilia. In these reptiles the heart
resembles that of birds more than that
of any cold-blooded animals. The
ventricle is completely divided by sep
tum into two chambers, the venous and
arterial blood join outside of the heart,
and the brain is bird-like. The muzzle
of the alligator is in straight line. but
that of the crocodile is much narrower
behind the noshils. There are also
other anatomical differences. The croc-
odile is known among the Indians as the
s.long-nosed alligator" The Florida
crocodile is the crocodilus acutus of Gu
vier, and is entirely identical with the
Jamaica species, but entirely different
from the cayman Of Guiana, South
America.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12

was lean and ill-nurtured, yet he had
withal chirpy and pleasing manner.
He had neither the pompous bearing of
opulence nor the boisterous ways of
rude health. He was sweet-tempered
and amiable fly, and among the local
muscm undoubtedly occupied the same
position that Tiny Tim did in his family.
I should have let him go, only that I
feared that if I did so I should also re-
lease the third fly, whom my soul
loathed. Now, let ND tell you why that
fly was Objectionable. He was the only
fly left on the window anes, and he
walked over them with the arrogance of
landlord. I sought to catch him, but
each attempt was more futile than the
last. He lodged, he flew away from
the window, he calmly foated about the
room, and I followed him, Tapping with
my pocket-handkerchef till I visibly
perspired. He was as cunning as the
fox of Ballybogue, who, you remember,
used to look at the newspaper to see
where the meets were to be. NV tenn
per overcame me, and I swore I would
have that fly.
After hunt, which brought out all
my worst characteristics, I caught him
and deposited him in my vivarium, re-
joicing to myself that his death-agonies
would be some compensation for my
pains. AS soon as he got into the jar,
Mr.. Fly discovered that his poor little
brother in adversely had raw place
where his wing had been torn of, and
he would follow him from place to place
to put his sucker on to the sore. 1t was
not the kindness Of the dogs of Lazarus
which led him to lick the wound. He
saw that Tim did not like it, and, as he
was nasty, bullying cad, he persisted
in his obnoxious performances. I left
him disguised. He was beast. w.
IL. Winter, IN Popular Science
Monthly.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
IN oLD-FAsH1ovED RECKONING.

A case was tried in Louisville. in
which a understandable witness was
introduced. The suit was one brought
by an old German, who keeps q grocery
and bar-room, against rather tough
citizen who owed him a bar bill. When
the old man was placed on the stand, he
stated his case in broken English, but
IN straightforward, truthful manner,
and said that the defendant had been a.
customer at his bar and received credit,
but refused to pay his bill when the
time arrived. He was then asked by
the court if he had kept regular ac-
count OF the amount, and was requested
to show his bill. This seemed to puz-
zle the old man some, and, after scratch
ing his head in silent deliberation for
few minutes, he said he had kept an
account, but had left it at his store, and
asked permission to go off and bring it.
The permission was granted, and he
started away on tret, and in a short
while came back, putting and blowing,
but wearing satisfied look on his face
and carrying large pine door on his
shoulder. ALI in the room were consid-
erably astonished at this, but he quietly
seated himself, and, taking the door
across his knees, he pointed to num-
Der of charcoal marks on it, which he
stated was his bill. When asked to ex-
plain he said that whenever the defend
ant got drink he marked it down on
the door. IF the drink was beer he
made short mark, and if whisky long
one. He then counted up the marks,
and they agreed with the bill he had
presented. This evidence was clinch-
er, and the old German won his case
amid the smiles of the spectators.
Louisville Courier Journal.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-12
QUALIFICATIONS OF Il DRUG C1ER1

OUALIFICATIONSO OF Il DRUG CLERK
"Want to hire drug clerk ?" asked
a bright-eyed youth, stepping into the
Office of a prominent apothecary on
Dearborn street.
care you competent man?" inquired
the proprietor, rising and closing the
door with an air of secrecy.
Well, I should say, yes. replied the
youth.
"Had any experience ?"
"Three years.
"Where
{" In Milwaukee"
"What would you do for plain wink
at the soda fountain ?"
'sDash with sour NASH
"Two short winks and the tongue in
the left cheek ?"
"Fill the glass half full with Jamaica
rum"
In case man calls for banana sirur
with doleful look and his hand on his
watch pocket?"
"Give him cognac and ginger"
"Three winks and jerk over the left
shoulder with the thumb ?"
"Put in Old Tom gin, and have the
same ready for friend of the mans
who will be in directly"
What if man says Baraboo and
spits to the left?"
GILL with Old Grow, dashed with
peppermint and tansy."
"The examination is satisfactory,
You may come on in the morning. The
new international code of signals is moi
published yet. If any change is made
will give you key. We have to be
very strict in the examination of pre-
scription clerks where the health, yes
even the lives of individuals. are at stake. ;
Chicago Cheek.