Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1882-04-12
Mr.. Editor:

please, for the last time hope l"iS
handling the pen is previously nara
work 10 one whose hand is more &C
customed to the mattock or pillow.
My good friend OF the Vrginian' you
come back as softly sweet and sweetly
soft as May morning, you roar az
gently as a sucking dove" Have YOU
a club foot or broken leg? You come
I'D TO the scratch very lamely. But
your article has one merit which am
nee TO acknowledge, it is full OF iun' al
| east, every body laughed at it. Indeed
II was so excruclatiugly funny mat
they even laughed at you. What 10
Won think William Malone would do II
be should zee your reference 10 MS
temperance proclivaties? Don't you
Il ink lie would laugh until "hls little
belly shook like a bowl of jelly? L see
YOU have resorted to the last subteriuSe
Of q defeated man, you have put your
OVID words il my mouth and then an
swered them. Bless your little green
heart. don't you know that that trick
Is so old it is bsldheaded. Now con-
edentially old fellow, between friends,
WHY did you write that last article !!
What did you mean? L swear, by my
sacred say so, III never tell living
soul. It is as intangible and almos. as
interniuable rs the Schlieswig' Holstien
question. Please tell me? Don't let
the secret die with you. But il you
wont tell know what | can do. I'll
set the skin. milk thing aside until 1t
draws whey and forms curd' then
make it into a poor quality of dutch
cheese and tell what it is by the SMELL
You say you want to quit. You
want 10 60 home, don't vous can see
from your article that YOU are not as
well '.as you used to be-" have no
objections. There is no pleasure III
fooliug around corpse, and as Tor
rofit. you are "toosdead to skim" 1t
locks bad anyway TO hit fellow when
he is down. I'll take that ice-"ater
with you, but as friend would advise
YOU to stick to the diet of your early
dovs cainir tea and milk, anything
stronger would be "regime entail 10 your
institution" Next time don't talk so
much with your mouth, use your brains
more. l know nature has endowed
YOU with very fair share of that article,
so don't walk out again without it.
But what war-horse is this, tearing H.
10 the arena from Edinburg? Are you
.'sure enough" warhorse? Is your meek
clothed with thunder" Are you mot
afraid as 4 er1sshopper?" Is "the glory
Of your nostr.s terrible ~ Do sou
"pawe!h III the valley, and rejoice IN
your strength" DO you ''owalloweIh
the ground with fierceness aad rage?
In other words are you dirt eater?
Please tell US, do YOU Saith among the
trump, Il, Ha ha! " or do you only
blow Your own horn? Do you "smelleth
the battle aiar Off, the thunder OF the
captalns and the shoullng:" II So
then am goner. Say you people
up there in Edinburg, What DO you
mean By allowing such "hoss loser
Pen him in Il stable before be runs over
some child in the street. But don't Tor
Gel 10 snip off his lrappin-s and wash
oil lis war paint. After all, he may
prove. Ola ciose inspection, 10 Ve one
of those warlo.sos someumcs sa"
during he late Aar, u mule. more
dar.crous 10 the irieLd> who folio"
close bohuG hin, Than 10 the foes III
front.
Sony EhnLurg 0ar-horse. you are a
ucW kind of Re-edjuster, are you? l
have heard Of Slmonpure Readjusters'
Malone Readjustcrs. Massey Read
iusters, Colored Readjnsters. Republic
can Readjusters, Democratic ReadJus'
ters, HONEST READJUsTERs' and
Readiuster-in .the-cool, but a Readjus'
ter ir-Actu!!! Lord save US ! Wont
some one who Las nothing else to dc
have mercy on US, for here is another
split in our party. A Readjuster-in-
Actu Phew Bring in another
horses :" Please lend me your big
Latin library with the bodybuilding al
tached? Thank you! doubt if l can fnt
the page, am trembling so, and my
knees they do so "smote" together.-
Hold that sawhorse-warhorse, mean,
unulI look. Yes, here it ls. From
Quintilian,. the great Roman rhetorl'
clan. as we'll as from Cicero, we learn
that 1ctuS means an act IN play. -
Now, can it be that our great Readlus
ter party has degeperated into play,
farce And you, as ReadJuster-in
Aclu. alc only spcuuDg Your little par
on the stage, while some friend or re
lalion is keeping the door and raking il
The shekels from the deluded audience
Or cid You get that "Actu' from hear
Ing one Of our party exclaim, IN th
agony Of his Heart after reading Ly
brooks speech. "ActUn' est de nOstr
factiOne?"
9 Who DO you consider Reodjustcr
A mau WHO onl, winks, bhnks, think:
breathes. sleeps, eats aud even live
when Malone tells HIM he can do so
Every man who feels the thTob of whit
blood IN his veins, who dares to thin
for himself, whose instincts ofmanhoo'
will not let him crawl on all tours
lick the dirt fro m the footstool OF tn