davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

Whatever may be the result of the eff
forts to repress the practice efpclyeamy,
there is no doubt as to the increase of
mormons, as denomination, and its ex-
tension into other localities than Utah.
Missionaries, are zealously at work IN
foreign lands, and.in many of the states
of the Union, and correspondent of the
San Francisco Bulletin tells how the
Mormons have been prospecting in Ari-
iona with view of colonizing the Terri
tory. L Bishop went through the coun-
try with letters OF introduction to few
public men. He said his object was to
get reliable information as to land capa-
bic of cultivation, with water and sound
titles, for his people. They did not want
mines, and were glad to see the Gentiles
engage in mining. He said it was only q
question of time when the mines would
be exhausted, and those dependent upon
them would have to seek other fields
and occupations. By this time the Nor
mons would have possession Of the pas
turage and agricultural lands of the Ter
ritory, on which people could forever
make living and multiply, and they
would always maintain possession and
have absolute control of affairs, and that
the mining Territories were the only
ones in which they could hope for
supremacy.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
THE NEWS IN BRIEF.
EVENTS IN WASHINGTON.

In the Jeanette court on Saturday Mr..
Ninderman, in describing the march to the
south on Sept. 20 said that Just be-
fore noon Erickson told him he couldn't
20 much further. Wituess tried to encour-
age him, but without avail. In attempting
to repeat Erickson's language when he be-
came disabled, witness broke down and
gasped out; II can not go on now, sir"
and hastily left the room. The incident
was most pathetic and the court and spec
tators were deeply impressed. The presi-
dent of the board ordered a recess, saying:
THE poor fellow never broke down up
there where he was put to the test, but his
sympathy for his lost companions over
came him." After recess Ninderman
resumed and said that Erickson said to
him, "Nindermas, don't care how far you
go; l can't go any further"
Senator Sherman agrees that it is very i'm
portant that republicans of the present con-
gress should do their utmost to secure at this
winters congress full revision of the tariff,
with a view to rednce taxation and remove
he inequalities and impertections of the
present law. The proper policy seems to
him for republican senators and members &c
adopt IS 10 secure such reduction of internal
revenue as will limit this form of taxes to
spirits, tobacco, beer. and modify and reduce
these taxes SO that in the aggregate they
yield about 500, o00, 900 year.
The annual report of Col. Irish, chief of
the bureau of printing and engraving shows
that during the year there were completed
and delivered 7,64l, los sheets of notes and
securities of the face value of 5000, S57, 700;
"A, PSI, 456 sheets of internal revenue and
custom cigar stamps, containing 9S7. 22l $50
stamps, and 64s,9l9 sheets cheeks, drafts,
etc The aggregate expenditures for the
year were 1896, 7e5.
Some newspapers are saying that by the
star route frauds the National treasury was
robbed OF 81, 500, 600. This is large sum,
but it is far below the real total. Several
months ago the attorney general estimated
the amount stolen at 81, OO0, 900. The net
additional pay granted to ring contractors
was more than s., 10000 per anuum in the
last term of tour years.
Hannibal D. Norton, principal clerk ofthe
finance division of the postoftice depart
ment, was removed to-day for an alleged
completely with star routers,k
The coinage executed at the minis in
November ia valued at 5000, 1913.
The Garfield fair at Washington will hard
~ pay expenses.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
THE CRIMINAL RECORD.

Durango, CAL, special says: Last night
about II o'clock, while DR.. II. A. Clay. a
pioneer physician and one of the most Elm.
lnent citizens, was sitting in his office his
partner Dr.. Euetsky, entered, and without
warning Aired several shots at Clay, then
Blew his own brains out with the same re-
volver, dying instantly. DR.. Clay died this
morning. They had been partners several
months, doing thriving business, when
Euetzky received q severe cowhiding from q
Mrs. Moore and Miss Hawkins, who &C.
cused him OF talking about them. Euetzky
was under the impression that his partner,
i)r. Clay, had something to do with his be-
ing cowhided, which is thought led to the
fatal shooting.
Consi deTable stir hiss been caused in rail-
road circles at Milwaukee by the disappear
ance of Henry Cary, clerk in the purchas-
ing agents office of the Chicago, Milwaukee
& st. Paul road. The officials say Cary's
accounts are straight. Information
from other sources have it that Cary eloped
with woman of the town named wv st.
Clair. Cary is young man of family and
held an office OF trust III the railroad office.
Sylvia Bowman, eaid to have been a St.
Paul girl for season, has disappeared in
the direction taken by young and impress
slble Milwaukee & St. Paul attache, aud the
theory is that they will bring up at San
Francisco. Sylvia was dashing brunette
and Carey, her captive, is a husband and
1ather, who is quite young and as fresh as a
sucker.
The tragedy revealed by finding the body
OF man in a straw stack on the Ramsey
farm, between st. Paul and Minneapolis,
has developed into an undoubted murder.
The post mortem examination revealed four
pistol holes in the mans head but not a
scrap OF evidence as to his identity nor as to
the circumstances under which he rlet his
death.
Thomas Foote of Baltimore, who brutally
beat his wife, was sentenced to resolve thir.
teen lashes on his bare back, punishment,
by the whipping post for wife beating hav.
Ing been revived by the last Legislature.
The robbery of the Wabash ticket Office at
Adrian, Oct. Is, has just come to light.
Nearly So, 600 worth of tickets were stolen
by young man named Z. P. Rowell
Young Carey, the Milwaukee elopar,
turns out to be defaulter as well. He has
$500 oil the railroad oompanys money, as
well as the st. Paul woman.
William Babbitt, who is charged with
placing dynamite in the International dis
tillery of Des Moines, had been arrested in
Chicago.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

The passage Of the constitutional
amendment making the Erie Canal free
OF tolls at the late New York election
has created a lively sensation among the
Canadian shippers and exporters. The
Montreal Board of Trade has adopted a
resolution asking the government to
abolish the tolls on all the Canadian
canals at the opening of navigation the
coming year. The Canadian govern
ment has spent about &c, 200, 900 upon
the various canals of the Dominion and
has succeeded in establishing very lu
crative export trade in American grain
in consequence. The recent action of
the state of New York in making the
Erie Canal free of tolls seriously en-
dangers this trade, and it is quite probable
that the request of the Montreal board
will be entertained and granted.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
Mark Twain'S Barometer.
be Philadelphla Press

From the Philadelphia Press.
Somebody was asking Hartford man
bow it happened that Mark Twain wrote
ana published so little nowadays He
writes as much as ever" was the reply,
but his baromenter is out of order. and
be does not know what to publish; 50 he
publishes nothing"
What sin the world has his barom-
eter TODD with his literary activity"
His barometer is a man-servapt
named Jacob, who is remarkable for his
deficient sense of humor. Mark never
can judge of the merit of his own per-
formances. Years ago he fell into the
habit oftesting everything that he wrote
by observing it's effect upon Jacob. If
Jacob listened to the reading of tho art
icle. Jest, or story with unmoved count
cnance, or merely smiled in perfume
tory way, Mark was satisfied and sent
the manuscript to the printer. But i!
Jacob laughed outright, or gave any other
indication'of genuine uerriment, the hui
sIorist concluded that the stuff was hope
Iess and withheld it from publication.
He regarded Jacob as infailible and
came to lean upon his Judgment.
About three years ago it appears,
Jacob learned for the first time from
some outsiders that his master was a
professional hurporist. He felt greatly
iionored that he should have been CHI, g.
en- hlbitually to enjoy the first freshn, Sir
of every new production Of genius. He
did not exactly understand why he
should have been thus chosen, but fe
IN vague way that great humorisE
must need sympathy and appreciation,
and must naturally look for 1t to
the fellow-being nearest at hand. He
also felt that he had perhaps failed to be
at all times sufficiently appreciative. So
Jacob kept his decovery to himself as
far as his master was concerned ,and re
solved to be as appreciative in the fu-
!ure as anybody could desire.
'sOna day Mark called Jacob in and
read to him sketch entitled, THE Cow
and the, Liehtning-rod Man, In COM
posing 1t Mark had flattered himself
that he had struck pretty fine streak.
To his amszement Jacob put back his
head and reared. With a unsurpassed
ejaculation Mark dashed the manu-
script into the waste basket. Then
Mark waited six weeks or two months to
collect his forces for he is never pre-
cipitate in anything he does,) and
achieved romance called How /
Bounced the Baby He summoned Jacob
and watched his face with obvious anx-
iety as he read the touching narrative.
Jacobs mirth was painful to observe.
Mark tore up the story and then tore
his hair.
Two or three experiments Of this sort,
with unvarying results, persuaded Mark
Twain that the malaria, which he has
creep up the Connecticut valley, had
reached him at last and destroyed bis
powers Of usefulness. He fell into q
settled melancholy. His friend, the
Rev. Mr.. Twichell, tried in vain to cheer
him up. Perhaps suggested Twitchell.
your man has really cultivated sense
of humor. 30 that you must no longer
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
RECORD OF CASUALTIES.

The steamship Cedar Grove, from Lon
don for Halifax and st. John, N. B., struck
the lodges of Cape Canso Thursday morning
during gale and sank an hour later in ten
fathoms Of water. Three boats were launched
shortly after the vessel struck; two of which
containing thirteen people reached the shore
safely. The remaining boat has not BEEN
heard from, and it is feared that che has been
lost In the breakers. Among the missing
are the captain, chief officer and Miss Fair.
all, passenger.
A terrible accident occurred at Ryan,s
packing house, Dubuque. Patrich Fox, one
of the Oldest and most valuable men in the
establishment, while working by the side of
boiling lard vat slipped and fell into the
burning sauldron. His body was completely
covered except his head, and when pulled
out he shrieked with agony and presented a
horrible spectacle. He is still living and
suffering intense torment with little or no
chance Tor recovery.
Orange Culp, aged sixty years and for
twenty years past yard-master in the Chi
cago, Milwaukee q st. Paul railway wards
at Madison was run over and killed while
coupling cars. Culp was member of the
masonic fraternity and well known there.
At 10 o'clock Friday night, near Ply
mouth, KY, south bound passenger train
on the Kentucky Central railroad, collided
with north bound local freight. En-
gineer Ben Early and Fireman William
Gray of the passenger train were killed.
At Quebec large factory occupied by the
Asbestos company and Joseph & Sons, with
a block of wooden buildings, was burned.
Total loss s125, 900 to 100000; insurance
$82, 900.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

A leading agricultural writer in Iowa
makes an earnest appeal to farmers to
meet promptly every note or debt when
it becomes due, on the ground that the
air and the woods are full of rumblings
of coming financial storms, and that no
candid man believes that present pros
perity can or will contin ne for many
years, or it may be for months. Many
loaners have already advanced rates of
Interest and are demanding more Sc
curity. He says it is better to sell stock,
or part of the land, at pres mt prices,
than to be found in debt at such, times
as 1887, 1849, 1859, or 1873. If the crash
does not come he will be no worse off.
In fact, financial crash never comes to
a farmer who is out ofdebt This storm.
signal from Iowa is worthy of observa-
ton. 1t will do no harm to shorten sail
even if the storm is delayed.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
Wit and Repartec. iGCr~

The colored people ought to make the
best members of secret societies. 1t is
so easy for them to keep dark
"Premises all on fire! what shall We
do?" was the telegriphic message re-
ceived by an Ottowa man absent from
home. Put it out" was the reply.
Mistress to new Cool1-''On -wedn,,<:.
days'anl Saturdays l shall! 60 to market
with vou." New cook-"Nerv. wei
mum but who's agoin' to carry the has
ket, NUM- ~- 81. ~. = Il
Rallying: Doctor (soto voco 10 lis col
league)-"We must reduce the fever
and abate the thirst" Patient (who had
overheard}-''f you'll reduce the fever.
gentlemen, I'll und'take to abatc the
thirst myself"
1t was at Nice, last winter, that The fol-
lowing charming illustration of the Dlisy
Miller from one ofour fair country women
occurred: Two English girls were stand
ing at the foot of a hotel staircase roar
ing with laughter, To them came 81 lift
ly the matfon ofone of them, exclaming:
For heavens sake, Mabel, don't
They'll take you for one of those horril
American girls" One oftho classthus
sweetly designated happened tohe stand
lug at the head of the stairs, and gently
observed: 81 guess not. with those
awfully big feet" - a.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

Nassau, more properly the island OF
New Providence, one Of the Bahamas,
IS becoming q great winter resort, not
only for consumptives, but generally for
invalids. 1t ranks with the island of Ma
deira, one of the healthiest spots on the
globe. From the first of November un-
tilthe ensuing June, the Bahama Islands
are the Eden of consumptive patients,
far superior to the island of Maderia in
sanitary value, particularly as respects
diseases of the lungs. The mean height
of the barometer is exactly so degrees,
and the humidity 1873. The mean tenn
perature Of the winter months is II de-
grees Fahrenheit. Old Peter Bruce,
one hundred and forty years ago, speak
ing in his memories of his recent visit to
the Bahamas, described them as possess
ing the most serene and the most tenn
perate air in America. Nassau can be
reached in few days from New York,
and at small expense. The variation of
climate during the winter months is
almost impreceptible and visitors soon
become as lazy and as INDECENT as the
natives,
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

Judge by oppos1tes.' Mark SHOOK his
head end borrowed a volume of Johna-
than Edwards's sermons from his friends
library. He copied out a long passage
from the discourse On eternal punish
ment, and palmed it off on Jacob as his
own latest effort. For the first time in
history, the gloomy periods provoked
peaIs of laughter. Jacob held his sides
and shook all over Then he suddenly
stopped, his countenance became blank,
turned pale and he incontinently. fed.
He had seen murder in his masters eye.
"That," said the Hartford man, in
conclusion, sis why Mark Twain does
not write. He hung his reputation asa
humorist upon his barometer, and hls
barometer no longer works" ...-.s,.s.ss
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
Fire at Mandan, Dakota.

On Wednesday fire broke out in saloon
kept at Msndan by Mack q Drury, and res
taurant, the Commercial hotel, the Mandan
house, the Pacific house, Strong Hackett
d Co.'S hardware store and Orurarc g. Nc
Gillics grocery, besides some smaller bsildr
ings, fell an easy prey and were soon re-
duced to ashes. The total loss will aggre-
gate S17,5O0, covered by 5000
insurance distributed rs follows: E
E. Buckley, proprietor of Pacific house,
Loss, 81, 500; insured for S. 600, P. H. Byrne
of the Commercial hotel. Loss, $1,000; in
surance, $500, Strong, Hacket, & Co., 81, SOC
on stock; fully insured, John Whalen, of
Bismark. Building, total loss: insured for
500. The following are without insurance:
i. b. Winston, building 81 600; Mandon
house, 1900; John Mack, 81, 900. The
large dry good store OF Charles VsnSlyck
but narrowly escaped. BE -
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

l had such before but never so ple!n
never SO degrading. ]. telegraphed to
this gentleman to come to me. He came.
/ did not show him the letters for e time
I was too bitterly ashamed to do it. OF
course, you think he advised me to quit
the stage. Not bit of it. He tortured
me for an hour by pretending to like it,
until l declared that I would never
again appear on the stage, and when he
felt quite sure felt sufficiently morti-
fed, he took the letters and put
them in the fire, dictated note of res
ignation, and he went to the jewelers.,
where my finger was measured for a
wedding ring. am proud of my sue
cess on the stage, but there is on happi-
ness Like this in the reputation Of an &C.
tressr
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
A BACHELORS QUERY.
From the Washington Republican.
What mighty autocret Ia This

What mighty autocrat is this
Around whose throne in worship bending
Are female votaries whose bliss
Is quite complete at chance to kiss
A tingertIp-a big toe, maybe 4
His every act and look commending2
1t is, it is the blessed baby"
What alteration of his eyes!
What wonder at his soft cheeks blendingi
What exclamation at his sizel
They listen to his ''goo's" and cries
And note with appreciation, maybe. g
The luckless volume he is rending,
For is he not the blessed baby"
AT other times his pleasure tits,
In apathetie unattending
To lie indifferent to this vi
Excess of worship which Is his
Through no inherent merit, maybe,
But from a terror of offending
This solemn despot of baby.
Suppose use such arts as these
Will ladies, charmed attention lending,
Before me upon Bonded knees,
Be making such attempts to please
Should such homage get2 1t may be,
Though am sorely apprehending
They'd give 1t to some blasted baby.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
NEWS OF THE RAILROADS..

From parties just in from Bohemian it is
learned that the track layers on the North
era Pacific arrived at Livingston on Tues
day, but tarried not. They at once began
the toilsome ascent of the belt range of the
Rocky mountains. The contractors declare
that they have orders from the company to
celebrate the new year in Bozeman at VIII at
ever cost.
The United States commissioners have re-
turned from their trip of official inspection
over the line of the Northern Pacific, and
more than confirm the reports of their en-
thusiastic encomiums on the character of
the country and the quality of the road.
The st. Cloud & Hinckly branch of the
st. Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba will be-
open for business shortly.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
A Granger and the Scientists.

Now that the Hon. Thomas A. Hen
bricks of Indiana has really recovered
from his attack of so-called "gangrene,s
a story has come out which is decidedly
at the expense of his physicians. On the
very day, the tale runs, to which The
medical prophets in attendance had
limited his life, blunt old granger
also doctor, after u fashion-cailed to
pay him farewell visit. After a pa
thetic interview, the country practi-
toner thought he would take look al
the "gangrene" which was about to ter
inmate his illustrious friends life. He
di d so; stared at it, open-mouthed. for
moment; and then with a derisive
grunt and an indignant, humping OATH
reared out: Nothing but boiNa
surely enough, Mr.. Hendricks was very
soon rushing along the high road to re-
covery, and the able phys icians who
attended him are keeping moderately
quiet.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

Beecher's latest sensation was an ut
terance in his pulpit squirting pretty
strongly towards Darwinism. He would
not say that he absolutely believed in
the theory of man from the lower life
but he was very strongly inclined in that
direction. He did say that the evolution
of man from the lower animals is just as
consistent with the doctrine Of God as
manifested in the creation as the other
theory. The great preacher manages to
keep his prominence before the public,
IN one way or another and probably will
continue to do 80 to the end.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
ReaufY Takea The Pot.

Mr.. Abbey, theatrical manager has made
public statement Of the receipts OF MIS-.
Lapgtry's four weeks performance in Ne"
York. The receipts the first night were
Sc, $40, 70, and the first week s18, 75s. 25; SEQ
ond week S15, 5S7, SO; third week $l2 532.
and the fourth week, ga, $685. so; making the
total, SOL. 803 g. Mr.. Abbey says that Mrs
Langtry's season was the largest ever played
by theatrical star in America.
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
MINNESOTA NEWS NOTES.
THE TRUE FIGURE.

Official Canvass OF the Returns OF the
Election for Congressman In the
Five Districts OF Minnesota.
The state board Of convassers consisting
of Gov. Hubbard, Secretary of State Won
Baumbach. State Auditor Braden, Attorney
General Hahn and Judge Dickinson, with
Clerk Nichols of the supreme court have
canvassed the congressional returns with
the following result:
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07

Alaska cost the United States 81 ,O00,-
600 and for years after, the purchase was
considered worse than worthless. But
1t appears that the Alaska Fur and Seal
company has already paid the govern
ment Sl0,0O0,0Oo for the right to catch
seals, and it is estimated that the COM
pany will have paid the government, for
the expiration of its contract time, eight
or nine years hence, fully $50 900, 900.
BY that time some of the other resources
of the territory will have been de vel
oDed
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
General NEWS NOTEs.

The commissions of the following fourth.
class postmasters will expire Jan. 1, many
of whom, it is said, will be removed: CIV.
Bartelle, q Milbank, OAK; Chauncey wald-
bridge, Manchester, Wis; II. f. Norris,
Montezuma, Iowa; L. L. Ramstead, Ada,
Mimi; Malcomb McLarty, Chatfeld, Mimi;
Peake, Wadena, Mimi; e. H. Wilson, Ash
land, Wis.
The report Of Fourth Auditor Beardsley
indicates an improved condition ofour for
report condemns the appropriation of a sum
in gross for the entertainment OF the board
Of visitors for the naval academy, and he
makes out good case by citing several
Morris tribune., 1882-12-07
Last Weeks Failures.

Brsdstreet'S journal furnishes the follow
ing: There were 1876 failures in the United
States reported to Bradstreet's during the
past week, fifteen more than the preceding.
week, aud twenty-eight more than the GORE
spending week last year. This is the largest
number for any one week during the past
ten months, and they have been OF greater
importance than usual, particularly IN New
York city, which had fifteen. y arST'