New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-05-31
We got" The old gentleman was sil-

I've go" The old gentleman was sill
enced. S. 49,
"a stingy family: '.But why did you
Brown. ''Och, mum, . replied the young
person. with toss Of her shapeless
head. ''they was that mean that there
was no Twin wild 'em. II youth behave
it, mum, twas only yistcr that whit
Until the parlor and there was two Of the
gurruls a-playin' on one peeany and their
father rich enough to buy dozen and
niver fale it!''
"A story Of q button: ..Rosalind, my
dear" said her mother, who was sweep
ing out the front hall way. docs this
button belong to your father s overcoatp''
"Let me see it. Oh. dear; no. ma! It
comes from Georges overcoat. Isn't it
splendid?' II don't see anything so very
splendid about it. ''Oh, why, ma! II
you were only young and such very
nice young man like George should
should . ''Well, shan't have any
more such works in this house. I've no
objection to little moderate hugging
in the house, but young men can't hug
their overcoat buttons otfin my hallway,
not much. And ROsalind went to her
boudoir to indulge in q weep.
( Useful dentistry: ..You look cheerful,
Mr.. Spiser,'' said friend who met the
odd gentleman rambling down the av-
enue. yes said the Intercepted; II
have just had = troublesome grinder
pulled" and when the sympathizing
/ gentleman asked him if It hurt him
much, Seth cheerfully responded, ..Not
a bit; it was an organ-grinder, and q
policeman pulled"
/ The father of q family, after reading
from the morning paper that the cold
the night before was intense, the Their
mometer registering many degrees be-
low freezing point, said, '.Now, children,
/ suppose you are taught all about that
at school. Which Of you can tell me
what the freezing-p point is?'' 1.-THE point
of my nose, papa" was the prompt re-
ply from one of the youngsters.
A youth to fortune and to fame un-
known sends Dumas the manuscript of
new play, asking the great dramatist
to become his col1aborateur. Dumas is
for moment petriied, then seizes his
pen and replies: "How dare you, sir.
propose to yoke together horse and an
ASST" The author, by return Of post:
''How dare you, sir, call me q horse?''
Dumas, by next mail: ''Send me your
play my young friend!'
"Pat," said . gentleman who was
fond ofusing high-sounding phraseology
to his man Of al work. Il am going to
town at 10 o'clock, and shall weed out
the cucumber beds in the interim. ''In-
terimp thought Pat. That's mighty
quare name for garden anyhow" lis
who called shortly afterward. Eyes,
SORT; yell find him at work in his in
term, there beyant," announced Pat.
Meissonier's portrait Of Mrs. j. w.
Mackey represents that lady as daintily
dressed, with a broad directoire hat,
and engaged in buttoning glove of ex-
travagant length. Probably he had her
use the glove to keep her occupied while
he painted, and the picture shows that
he got it done before she got the glove
buttoned. Young men who have wait
ed for q girl to GET her gloves buttoned
will believe this.
Fun at dinner party: The youngest
gentleman lit is his first visit) has brok-
en- the ice at last by inquiring the
name of the hostess little daughter, to
which the child has replied ''Ethel. -
''And why, Ethel, do you keep patting
me on the armP'' because mamma
says you're muff,"-(awful pause,
during which the child strikes him
down)-"but you don't feel like one,
you know" (Tableau-child complac-
ent-nobody else.)
The Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter has
the most flourishing Sunday school in
Austin. A few Sundays ago he asked
one of his pupils: ''Who is dat ar mys-
terious bein' from whom muffin am hid,
who sees and knows eberyting what
happens? I axed yer dat queshun las
Sunday, and now wants de answer y
Il knows hit. My fodder told me de
right answer" said one boy. ''Well,
den, who does yer fodder say am dat
mysterious bein' who knows all things
what happens?'' de foahman of de
gran jury"
A New Yorker took his friend, an
1rishman, to the theater. Immediately
in front Of them sat a young lady with
hat on that measured several feet from
tip to tip. When the curtain rose and
the play began the two men could only
get occasional glimpses Of the stage BY
lodging around the corners Of the hat.
Finally the New Yorker observed test.
lily: "Confound woman who has M
more sense than to wear such Swiss
cottage roof at a place Of public amuse.
ment?' go aisy," said the gallant
Celt; "a moighty convainyance she'd be
in a hot climate where there were no
trees"
Prisoner" says the Judge, severely,
to the scoundrel who has been brought
up before him on the charge of murder.
ing the wife whom he had abandoned
for many years-''prisoner, what car
you plead in justification Of your afro.
cious crime?" '.Well, you see, your hon.
or, did it from the best of motives.
wished to save myself from the shame
Of bigamy. and to place myself in q
position to make the other woman my
lawful welded wife"
M n a., a m, !, r,,,,