The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
OHILDREN'S DROLLERIES.

| CHILDRENs DROLLERIEs.
The interest shown in the droll doings
and amusing observations of little folks
is proved by the success of recent works
on the subject. Most of us have, some
time or another, heard children come
out with as comical things as any, in
| vented or otherwise, that we see chron-
icled. Not long since a correspondent
sent to provincial paper an anecdote
of the kind referred to, of which his six
year-old boy was the hero. He says:
II keep a shop and sell fancy goods.
A gentleman came in to buy something.
1t was early, and my little boy and /
were alone in the house at the time.
The gentleman gave me a sovereign,
and i had to go upstairs to my cash.
box. Before doing SO, went into the
little room next to shop, and said to the
boy, Watch the gentleman, that he
don't steal anything;' and put him on
the counter. As soon as l returned, he
sang out, PA, he didn't steal anything
4 watched him. You may imagine
what position l was in"
A little one returning from the 300"
through Regents Park, with friend OF
the writer's, pointed to some flowers
growing there, and inquired if they
were tune ones; meaning, of course,
with his thoughts on the animals he had
Just seen, the reverse of wild.
At whale exhibition, a youngster is
said to have asked his mamma if the
whale that swallowed Jonah had as
large a mouth as the one before them,
why didn't Jonah walk out at one cor
nerP
..You must think Jonah was fool;
he didn't want to walk out and get
drowned" was the quick reply of a
younger brother. before the mother could
answer.
Another youngster of four years, seat
ed at the tea-table, said:
mamma, may have some sardinesp'
''Wait till i am ready, child. -
.'Wfiy, ma, it's me 'at wants 'em,"
was the comment, in tones of surprise.
A boy who had always refused to eat
oatmeal, in spite of his mothers urg-
ings that it was a strengthening diet,
suddenly surprised her one morning by
eating a liberal plateful, and calling fol
more. Upon his mother asking for an
explanation. he replied:
Il am bound to eat oatmeal till 1 am
strong enough to whip Johnny Scott"
Little Freddie, when visiting neigh
boris house, was offered piece of bread
and butter, which he accepted. but |
without any show of gratitude.
''What do you say, Freddie?" limited
the lady, expecting him to say, ''Thank
YOU"
81 say it amt cake" was the impolite |
response.
The father of family, after reading |
from morning paper that the cold the
night before was intense, the thermOme-
ter registering many degrees below freez-
ing point, said:
'.Now, children, I suppose you are
taught all about that at school. Which |
of you can tell me what the freezing |
point isp"
"The point of my nose, papa" was
the prompt reply from one Of the young
sters.
An American mother, who fondly put |
the query to her young son, What |
would You do without a mother, TomP''
was dumbfounded with the reply:
do as liked, ma"
A mother once showed her child a |
beautiful doll, st. John, of fine make
and color.
.'See," she said, she has been very
good, and Heaven always rewards the
good by making them beautiful
"O," said the child. lifting its should
ers, '.don't believe that, mamma. This
little st. John looks very meek because
he's all glued up; but if he could only
move, you'd see."
A nurse asked little boy how much
he loved her.
s.How much is NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
was the response. This was sum he
had lately heard his father mention,
-l:l Il. <l,,l
fittest standard wherewith to gauge the
capacity of anything.
(Which of you two is the nicest?"
was the question put by gentleman
about to give some sweets to twin SIS
tiers of tender years.
''She is" instantly replied both, point
ing simultaneously to one another; an
instance of polite self-denial that affords
n strong contrast to the usual thought
less egotism of youngsters.
Children's remarks are at times even
more entertaining than their comical
queries and replies. One of two child
rem who were amusing themselves by
coloring pictures suddenly exclaimed:
..Well, how stupid of me to paint that
COW blue!''
..Oh, it's blue with the coldr' quickly
observed the other.
A little girl, on being told something
which greatly amused her, vowed that
.'she would remember it the whole OF
her life, and when she forgot it, would
write it down."
A canary had begun to twitter little
after moulting, but was unable to sing
its entire tune. A little four-year-Old,
after listening to one of the birds vain
attempts to master his tune, said, very
compOsedly:
Mamma, birdie only sang half
verse"
Canaries bring to mind their enemies,
the cats. A gentleman had Il cat which
gave birth to five kittens. On ordering
three of them to be drowned, his little
boy said:
s.Pa, do not drown them in cold wa
ter. Warm it first. They may catch
cold before they are dead"
A relative of the writer's, crossing
the channel when he was a very small
boy, suffered much from sea-sickness.-
Hearing good deal of talk on board
about the motion of the steamer, he con.
fidentially informed his parents on land.
ing that '.if hc had boat, he wouldn't