Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1882-01-19


round to collect his rents, sent his
servant forward TO prepare the tenant
I for his visit. On reaching the house
and finding his man taking q survey o.
the place and apparently endeavering
to gain admittance. he asked: whats
the matter? Is the door boltsd?"
"Ne, MASTER" was the reply; "bu'
the tenant has boltsd."
"Fellow citizens" said the street
corner orator, standing on dry-good'
box amid the CLARA and smoke Of many
torches. "my position upon this ques
ton Is a peculiar one And just then
when the box caved In and lot HIN
down in the shape Of letter V, grip.
ped by the neck and heels, the crowd
rather thought 1t was.
"But pass" said a minister, recent
ly, In dismissiDg one theme OF his sub
ert to take up another. "Then MAKE
it spades" yelled man from tht
gallery, who was dreaming the happy
hours away in All imaginary game OF
euchre. 1t Is needless to say that he
went ont on the next deal, assisted by
ono of the deacons.
"Why, my dear Mrs. Smith. what
ever have you done with your piano"
con, Mr.. Smith. insisted upon my
Idisposing OF it, and buying instead a
sewing machine fer each OF the girls.
He says they would be much more use
ml, and would make much less
noise
1t occasionally happens that the edi'
torial fraternity is in good luck. Now,
for instance when bloatei bondholders
are trembling for the safety Of their
wealthy in national banks, the editor
, Iecps the sleep of the innocent and IN
concerned, for he has nothing on his
mind or in the bank.
An age negro was showing the scars
| of the wounds inflicted by the lash
when he was u slave. "Whas pic
ture = exclaimed sympathiNng look.
er-on. 'Yes' responded the colored
brother, "dat's de work oh de old
masters"
When Rothschill was asked whether
he would not like to become Il temporal
king OF the jews in Palestine-"Oh,
no." said he, "T would rather be- a
lew of the kings that the king of the
Jews"
A Frenchman brought wo mugs to
the milkman in place of one, as usual ,
and being asked the meaning of it re-
Piled ."Dis vor tie millirh an dis vor
to water, an | will mix TEN no as to soote
myself.
At the medical examination. GLOW
should you detect pruasic acid among
OF her substances" "By breathingit,'
answer. the candidate. of l died
Immediately, should know prussic
acid was present
Enraged omnibus driver (rcvised, not
King James Style):-"Condemn your
eyes where the Gehenna are you driv-
ing TOP who the Hades trusted you
with a wagon, a ryhow?'
"Where the demon are you going
to-"
What is it that see? That, my
child, is the News Interviewer, and he
is interviewing man. But where is
the man? | can see no mau. The man
my child. is in his mind.
A New York amusement seer obj ect-
to paying $40 to hear Patti sing Comm
thro the Rye. We suspect that he
would rather invest the $40 in such a
manner that the Rye would % through
him.
The reason women don't like the
telephone better, is because the man at
the other end can get in last word
and hang up the instrument before SHE
can reply.
At the door Of a readvmade clothing
store in the poorer quarters of Paris
is the following sign: "D'n't &c
any here else to be- robbed ; walk In
lie e."
A suffering coxromb asked a BARRIERS
boy, "Did you ever shave a m.m-mon,
key ?" No sir, replied the apprentices;
"but if you will please sit down, III
TT try"
ooh, Mr.. Smith, this pea will never
come 10 perfection p said pretty girl.
Permit inc then, said he gently taking
her hand and walking toward the
plant, "to lead perfection to the pea