Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1882-02-24
A Souix Bill Of Fare.

One of the pecularties of the latest
United States style of feeding the noble
red man is the fact that he is given gov
eminent rations, and Mt the same time APP
preparations are made which are sup.
posed to maintain him.
Sometimes wild Indian who don't
know much about groceries and how to
prepare them for food, comes in and
draws his regular soldier ration in this
way. For instance, up in the Sitting
Bull country awhile ago, an Indian came
in from the warpath who had never seen
any of the pale face style of food, and
drew his rations.
He made light meal of unground
coffee the first day, and as he overate,
and the coffee swelled on him, he had
difficulty in bu.toning his pants around
the pain that he had on hand.
He felt very unhappy for a day or
two, but laid it to the fact that he hadn't
exercised much, aud the consequent ennui
and indigestion resulting therefrom.
AS soon as he had succeeded in get
ting the interior department quoted
down little, he tackled his ration of
candles. These he decided to parboil,
in order to avoid trouble from indiges-
ton The dish was not so much of
glittering success as he had anticipated,
aud as he remorsefully picked the candle
wicking out Of his teeth with tent pin,
he made some remarks that grated harsh
ly on the aesthetic ears of those who stood
near.
He then tried meal Of yeast powder
with vinegar. He ate the yeast powder
and then took n pint of extremely potent
vinegar to wash it down.
At first there was feeling of glad
surprise in his stomach. which rapidly
gave place to unavailing remorse.
A can of yeast powder in the midst
Of an Indian don't seem to be prepared
for pint of vinegar, and the result of
such an unfortunate circumstance is not
gratifying.
Every little while look of pain
would come over the features Of noble
child of the forest, and then no would
jump about seventeen feet aud try and
kick cloud out Of the sky. Then he
would sit down and think over his past
life.
Ii took about week for him to get
back to where he dared get up another
meal for himself Then he frcaseed
couple of pounds of laundry soap aud
ate that.
Soap is all right for external purposes
or for treating pair of soiled socks, but
it does not assimilate with the gastric
juice readily, aud those who have tried
laundry soap as a relish do not think
that it will ever arrive at any degree Of
prominence as a diet.
That is why this unuttored child Of
nature swore. He had never received
the benefits of early training in pro-
family, and his language therefore was
disconnected and rambling, but when
we consider that he was ignorant Of our
language, and that every little while be
had to stop and hold on to his digestor
with both hands and dig great holes in
the earth with his toes, the remarks
didn't seem altogether out Of place or
irrelevant.
When gallon or 50 of agitatod bak-
ing powder and vinegar is singing It's
little song in the innermost recesses Of
an Indian, and this has been followed
by treatment of laundry soap, the
student of human nature can find wide
field for observation in this locality.
The earnest and occupied look, the
troubled expression of the countenance,
followed by the quick, nervous witch
ing of tho muscles Of the face, and then
the swelling up of the body, the burst
ing of tho susponder button, the deep
drawn sigh, and the smothered cuss
word, all botokcn tho gastric agitation
going on within.
This is why an Indian prefers o link
of bologna sausage and two year-oll
dog to the high-priced groceries SO COM
mon to our modern civilization. Bill
Nye IN boomerang.