Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-11-22
THE SMALL BOY.
A Descriptive aud Preseriplive sketch
of The Same.

No pyrotechnic aggreg alton is as full Of
startling surprises as the boy The missing
link, which depressed Darwin, or the North
Pole, or the pei feet analysis of hash may be
discovered. but the next act in a boys pro-
gramme will always remain mystery. In
bis schemes he never fails for any lack OF
ingenuity, but may sometimes fall short OF
opportunity. He is seldom peited, and feels
SIS if he is always prosecuted. Place him
where you will, there is always restraint on
his ideas of latitude and liberty. When he
is invited, or rather, conscripted, to church,
full hour previous to the stsrt is devoted
TO impressins him with propriety Of con-
duct, particularly the Observance of perfect
quiet and silence. By tie time the devout
party reaches the tabernacle the boy yainy
tries TO remember the injuEciions Tor any
one of them), but he might as well
try 10 faultlessly recite "wash list" after
one reading. He finally concludes TO aban-
don the attempt, and decides 10 trust 10 his
own natural ability, II his escort should
know OF this determination there would be a
painful nervousness and apprehension, but
happily they think the boy remembers every
word OF his instructions, and are prepared
to swell with pride at his performance. The
pew is reached and the group located. The
mother, with her eyes on salvation and
thoughts on that boy, prepares for the cere-
monies. The boy thus far has been jewel,
but the choir suddenly and dolefully fires at
him from the rear, and no acrobat ever
turned quicker or jumped more suddenly
than that youngsler. His curiosity has
eradicated the precepts SO carefully spread,
and he is bound to investigate that noise.
His action startles the occupants of the adj
joining pew, and considerable local con-
fusion prevails, and his fathers chances
for salvation go off about ten points
in the grab he makes for that
boy, apd The effort to haye him resume
the regulation position. The mother hiss
lost her place in the prayer-book, but retains
enough godliness to give him another chance
The boy is nodded into melancholy, and
would give all his marbles for some alarm to
break up that solemn gathering. He finally
discovers companion four pews distant,
and the disgrace of few moments since is
forgotten in the recognition. They immedi-
ately communicate by patent system OF
blinks and winks and gymnastic fngerings;
but true to history, the mother of The boy
di-covers the combination, and cuts off fur
Their operations by box on the ear. This
excites so much merriment in the other boy
that, forgetting his own peril, he giggles
with delight, and SO audibly as TO attract
.he attention of the whole congregation.
The father and mother relinquish all hope
OF participating in the eternal prizes TO be
awarded that day, and not a soul present
but what would postpone his chances until
pe1t Sunday just 10 hit that boy once.
He realizes il, and is subdued. Look in
whatever direction he may, there is no COM
fort, no hope, no life preserver. To add TO
his helplt mess, his mother silently but
savagely whispers in his ear, sI'll give it to
you when you get home" He feels al if he 4
had already been killed, and the only thing
pow left to give him is a cheap co6iu. The
text II, ssSniIer little children 10 come unto
me-" He mentally con ,ludes he was loo big
for the invitation, aud shoHld not have
come. Every available space on boy has
been thoroughly tested by all kinds of tim
Der TO develop hia reformation bump, but
without success. L is not decided whether
it is the fault of the timber, or whether the
right spot remains untouched. He is car
ried on excursions on the same principle
tn at bunion acconpanys yon-bscause you
can't help it. No good place has ever been
found for him when the old man wanted to
have a little quiet enjoyment. He
turns up when you don't want him and
never turns up when you do want him. You
can never attract his attention With an ordi-
uary tone of voice. No man with weak
lungs can ever expect 10 be a successful
father. if he expects to keep up With his
bow. No mother can ever expect him as q
sudden audience unless she can reich the
highest notes of a musical or unlnusical
soprauo. A circus will catch him sooner
than Sunday school. He is rubber ball,
bouncing recklessly through to maturity,
and it proloDgs life to let it bounce with
some degree of freedom rather than try to
check Is al the rick OF dying from Gisap-
pointment. ?. AITCH.