Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-09-23
SPOOPENDYKE AS A FARMER.
lErom the Brooklyn Eagle

ltrOm the Brooklyn Eagle
"This." said MIR. Spoopendyke, as
he gazed around on his new acquisi-
ton of six acres, sthis. my dear, is
what [ have always wanted. A farm
aud farmers life are tie highways to
happiness, Mrs. Spoopendyke, don't
you think so? p -zi
'It's perie tly lovely" rejoined
Mrs. Spoopendyke. Il was born on
a farm, and l was always healthy,
though l had to go a good ways Tor
water"
"Ill fix that my DEAR" returned
Mr.. Spoopcndyke. "Ill bring the
water. Now where are my agrlcul-
tural reports? must plant right of
II we are going to have crops, and
when they're ripe we'll take them to
market" -r
81 see the report says you must
give your hens chopped turnip once i u
a while." said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
putting her thumb on the paragraph.
"Ei;her that Or cabbages,n returned
her husband. 81 don't know whether
we'll nave cabbages enough" he con
tinned, musingly.
You must have less buck wheat
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. II
would think, though, that two acres
would be enough for one hen, and If
it isn't you can buy a load now and
then from the nsighbors."
"IN think that over" replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. Heres one thing l
don't understand. 1t says We should
test a few seeds before planting 10
make sure they will germinate, but
1t don't say how to do it."
MAY be IL means to boil Them,
suggested Mrs. Spoopendy ke, cor
perhaps you" u
"Oh. perhaps you think 1T means
to crack 'em with all axe to see il
they are hard! l s'pose you've got
AL idea you stick straws into 'em to
sse if they are done! Well, You dou't
you put acid on 'em. Iii get some
acid and drop 'em in, and If it die.
colors 'em they're 10 good, amt if il
don't they're all right. l thiuk We
ought to have some weevil for the
pig" .arss rs :
Il don't know where you're going
to plant It," said Mrs. Spoopendyke'
"unless it will grow with buck wheat
or onions. You can't put 1t in with
the cabbage because the. pig and hen
would iga:." 's
"Do you know what weevii is p
demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke CHANGING
at his wife. "Got u notion IT'S some
kind Of a weed for the prg to smoke,
haven't you? Imagine it's gilt-edee
note paper with a monogram for him
to write Oh, don't you? Well, it ISM,
\ swallow-tail coat or q plug hat for
him to 60 to church in, neither! You
don't plant weevil, Mrs. Spoopend, Ike,
any more than yeude soap or clothes.
pins. or stair rods. You buy it in
barrels. and III order some"
81 think we ought to have some
lace curtains Tor h front windows,'
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. anxious
10 change his conversation.
eyes, and we wan a folding bed.
stead for the cow, and we've got 10
have u new arm chair for the pig, and
I'm afraid those cabbagcs won't do
without n wet nurse" squealed NJ.
Spoopendyke. 81 suppose I've got TO
hire u man TO see that the meaduw
don't 20 fishing on Sunday and unset
your religious notions. On, you're
q Iarmer's wife, you are. i had
time to write an index to O and
get some dod-Gssted binder to fix You
up with a hy-leaf, you'd make a whole
agricultural report"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke shot into
the house and to bed. while his wife
having put all the oil lamps Into
backets Of water SO they couldn't x
plode during the night, fell asleep
dreaming that the cabbage patch had
eloped with the onions. while tho COW
IL pig had died of weevil, and the
WIND mill had abandoned agricultural
pursuits and started Oft through Ohio
preaching the gospel.