St. Landry democrat., 1882-08-19
COnquering a Mule.

"Ben Appleby, of ST. Louis, had a
MULE said the stableman, (which
was one OF the knowingest cusses you
ever saw. | dunno where Ben found
him, but, one day he came drvin'
home with this mule hitchel ter the tail
end of his wagon. He was an innocent
lookin' animal, plump an fat, an
looked like he was goin' to be good fer
suthin'. Well. the next day after Ben
got i'm home he tried ter hitch i'm up,
but he wouldn't be hitchcd He Jest
everlastn'ly kicked the wagon inter
splinters. He kicked one eend outer
ther stable, an kicked ther stall down,
an kicked everything in sight. Ben
took him out in the corn-tield one day,
an hitched i'm to plow, but he up an
kicked that pIow over inter ther next
lot. He was all right under saddle, but
ther mint Ben tried ter hitch i'm ter
anything he Jest kicked it outer sight.
No matter where he was, if things
didn't SUIT i'm, he lest let himself OUT
an kicked. Nobody but Ben dast 60
near i'm. Well. finally he diskivered
that everybody was scared of i'm, an
he got the idee that he was the greatest
mule in that section of ther country.
He had a way of cockin one ear for
rard an the other backards, an
winkin' one eye when any one
came near i'm, as much as to say: Git
on to me; Pm Ben Appleby's kickin'
mule, an don't yer torgit it, When
Ben would be rdin' i'm long there
road an they'd pass another mule, he d
! II-t rrit II
grin as much as ter say: Pm the only
mule in this country. I'm a kicker, [
am He seemed to understan' that he
had the dead wood On Ben, an thet no.
body could hitch i'm to no sort of yehi
Gle. He got chuck, ram, jam full OF
concelt, an use ter parade hisself aroun
the barnvard like he owned the place.
Ben made up his mind as how the mule
wouldn't never be no count tell he was
broke to drive in harness. He tried all
sorts 'cr ways. He hitched i'm to a
mowin' machine, an the result was he
had ter git new machine. The mule
kicked it all outer shape. He broke up
everything that Ben tried ter hitch i'm
to. Bimeby Ben got mad. He swore
he d take the conceit outer that animal
if it tux his hull farm. Then he begun
to study up ther case, till, one day a
engines what they run thrashin' 1ner-
sheens with. Ben says to i'm, IN
give yer five dollers if you'll let me
hitch my mule ter that mersheen.'
Git out yer mu!e,' sez the man, an
Ben led i'm outer the stable. He
can't pull it, sez the man. Never
nine sez Ben, he kin try it, So he
Led the mule out in the road, an the
mule he knowed in a mint what was
goin' on He cooked his ears backards
an forrards, an grinned and sez to his
self:
'They'm goin' to hitch me to that
thing. Dog-gone my skin, I'll kick it
inter the next county. I'm Ben Apple
by's kickin' mule, [ am. Watch me
now an see how do it,
well, Ben an the man got i'm
hitched up to the mersheen an he began
to kick agin ther boiler-head. He
kicked, an he kicked, an he kicked,
but the mersheen never budged. Ben
an the man sat on the fence watchin'
the job, an the man a-laughin' to kill
hisself. Ben looked kinder satisfied,
but he never fetched a smile. Bimeby
the mule settled down on his four legs,
an swung his head aroun' an said to
hisself:
"'Wat kline of dog gone vehicle is
this, any how? She don't fetch worth
cent. Maybe somethin's the matter
with my legs. rll go for it agin, any
how
"An' he set his teeth together an
began to kick agin' Well, sir, he
hammered his heels agin' that boiler
head till he was black in the face, but
she never weakened. Then he'd stop
an take breath an swear, an then he'd
kick agin'. Well, sir, he KEEP that up
fur half an hour, till he was as weak as
cat, an then he stopped an Topped
both ears forrard an cried like baby.
Ben let i'm stan there little while, an
then he onhitched i'm an took i'm back
to the stable. The next day he hitched
i'm up to buggy, an he trotted of
without sayin' a word, an to-day he 8
as decent an respectable a mule as they
is in the county. Ben's wife drives i'm
to town mos every day in a fayton.-
st. Louis Republican.