The Portland daily press., 1882-04-03

easy enough. Find out how many persons
have paid twenty five cents for Guiteau's auto
graph.-Somerville Journal.
Don't be Alarmed
at Bright's Disease, Diabetes, OF any disease of
the kidneys, liver or urinary organs, as Hop
Bitters will certainly and lastingly cure you,
and it is the only thing that i'll.
A young and enterprising reporter of daily
paper was instantly discharged the other day.
He reported the fact of man being shot, and
failed to say "a bullet went crashing. into his
brain. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
A medicine of real merit, prescribed by many
leading physicians, and universally recon-
meDded by those who have used it, as tonic
is, Browns Iron Bittsrs.
A French surgeon has mortally offended the
duelling world of Paris by going to a recent
meeting on the field of honor with nothing but
piece of court plaster in his vest pocket
Cincinnati Commercial.
Miss Sawyers Salve as now prepared beats
the world % cents.
Writing poetry is a little tough for those not
born to it. A Louisvillian was invited to write
something nice for lady's album. After
struggling for several hours without finding
any rhyme for s'album' but "Sal come" he
obtained his hat and hed.-Louisville Courier
journal.
81 feel SO blue" Then you do net own the
Domestic. 10 Elm street.
A turkey was shut up in cellar in Clarke
Virginia, and lived five weeks without food or
water 1t is said that the turkey was for
gotten; but we are inclined to think that is re-
ally the way turkeys re fattened for the city
market.-Hawkeye.
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
doubtless ranks first as a curative agent in al !,
diseases of the provocative system, degenera-
tion of the kidneys, irritation of the bladder,
urinary calculi, &c., &c. Send to Mrs. Lydia
e. Pinkham, 233 Western Avenue, Lynn,
Mass, for pamphlets.
Mr. Speer of Georgia in his speech on the
Chinese bill, after giving a Latin quotation,
was kind enough to tell the house what it
meant. This proves that this is not Nh Speer's
first session in Congress. Mobile Register.
A New Haven minister of the gospel told
one of his deacons that he was constantly
hearing loud sound, which kept him awake
nights. Since using DR.. Benson's Celery and
Chamomile Pills, his bearing has become nor
NAL, and his nerves are steady and true.
Mrs. Coddle went down to the kitchen, to
see if everything is going on right. "Whereis
Bridget?" she asked of Annie, the up stair
girl "Gone out, num-" Well, I declare
the fire is out too!'' exclaimed Mrs. Coddle.
minutes after Bridget id."-Philadelphia
Sunday Item.
Wheat Bitters have received the endorse
ments of medical men of the highest standing.
These can be shown.
A bear. wishing to rob a bee hive, laid HIM
self down In front of it and overturned it with
his paw. "Now," said he, 81 will lie perfectly
still and let the bees sting me until they are
exhausted and powerless; their honey may
then be obtained without opposition" And it
was SO obtained, but by q fresh bear, the other
being dead.-Detroit Free Press.
From Emporium.
Geo. Dodge, Sr., well known citizen of
Emporium, writes that one of his mon (Sam
Lewis) whilst working in the woods so severe
ly sprained his ankle that he could scarcely
get home, bat after one or two applications of
THOMAS ELECTRIC On, he was able to 60 to
work next day.
In Chinaa man who makes or sells adulters
ated food is imprisoned or hanged In this
country it is the man who buys the adulterated
food who has to suffer. The other fellow ac-
quires five inches of fat on his ribs and is cleo
ted to positions of honor and trust The Chi
nese must 60. Some of their customs are
subyersiye Of our most cherished institutions.
Texas Siftings.
Excessive use of alcoholic drinks cured by
Wheat Bitters, prepared by solution and not
fermentation.
The first train over an Iowa railroad bridge
smashed it in. This shows the folly OF trying
to put bridges together with flour paste. They
should be gummed with andoline.-Philadel-
phia Chronicle.
Lungs convulsed by cough can be soothed
with Hales Honey OF Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
Will Tennyson kindly write us poem Oh
the CT arge of the gentleman who has money to
loan?-Rlmira Free Press.
Presence of Mind. A few Sundays ago a
Western church was discovered to be on fire,
but the preacher, with great presence of mind,
said nothing about it. He merely remarked:
"This building is heavily burdened with debt,
and wish some one would lock the doors un
til the amount is raised" Everybody volup-
teered to do the locking, and as everybody for
got to come back there was no panic, and no
one was burt-Detroit Free Press
Congress Yeast Powder contains no alum,
ammonia, terra alba, or any other injurious
ingredient, but is made from absolutely pure
Cream Tartar. 1t has the largest sale of any
1T IL l.. - z-k1z