Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1882-09-02
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The man who has a thousand friends
Has not friend 10 spare.
But he who has one enemy
VIII meet him oyerywhere.-Emeron
Tho man with halfa-dozcn boils,
Has jest six boils too much
And IL he slips upon the Stair,
Hess apt toraiso high ch.-Enriqu
The Mormon with n hundred wives
Has nino.y-ninc 10 sell;
For ii one wife pest can prove
hundreds simply HI
Every man wants to hide his poverty
from others and bis idlcness from himself
A regular system of sending out bills is
better than spasmodio dunnng.
We look on the dark side of every thing
but heap jewelry. That dazzles us.
How few new brooms, after all, sweep
clean, unless there. is clean sweeper be-
hind them.
If there is any great and good thing in
s;ore for you, it. viii not come at first or
second call.
No kissing by telephone for US. We pre-
fer to take the electricity direct TO- the
battery.
"Its all matter Of taste" as the boy
said when he preferred a piece Of ginger
breli to picture-book.
"Do yonr best" is good motto, but the
trouble is that many people won't even try
To do their second best.
Sleep may" knit..up the rayeled sleeve Of
care" but it won't darn the torn stocking
Of poverty worth a cent.
What is the difference. between a new po-
iceman and an old hat? One is sworn ia
and the others worn out
Sorrows arc our best educators. A man
may see further through tear than tele-
scope.
A mooley COW has no horns. II is differ
ont from man in this respect. The more
horns he has the muller be becomes.
a prodigaI-"What makes you spend
your time so freely, Jack?7 Because its
the only thing I have to spead."
As daylight can be seen through the
smallest holes, so do the most triGling things
show 4 persons character.
Emmy man who ken swap horses Or catch
fish, and not lie ab ut it IL AZ piuz az men
ever get to be in this world.
The clam has 4 larger mouth in propo,
ton to its size than 4 human being, ye. a
clam never talks about his neighbor
A Philadelphia paper says in Jersey the
mosquitoes are 50 large that picnic parties
harness t7om up and make them pull the
pleasure boats.
Somebody says that women would ney-
er do to run railroads, as the trains would
always be behind Yes, but they Ere up
mighty quick.
What IS the difference between the
preacher, the builder, and architect Of a
church? Oneis the rector, the other Is the
erec .or, aad the other the director.
II - ettlth bf riitAtirta thaL Dlig u = ~
male mosquitoes bite. Blast the scientists
FOR interfering, anyway. OF course no gen
tleman will strike a female, even If she is
draining bis best blood.
Mamma, do you know how / get into
bed 50 quickly?p No, my darling. How
DO your why. pat one foot On the
bed, an then holler 'RatsP and scare
myself right in"
Every kindly word and feeling, every
good deed and thought. every good action
and impulse, is like the ark-sent dove, and
returns from the tsoubled waters Of life
bearing green olive baanch to the soul.
An Arkansas bridegroom caught the
/ bride in his arms at the conclusion of the
ceremony, dislocating two Of her ribs with
a violent hing, and she did not make half 90
much fuss as she did when a few minutes
afterward, her brother stepped on her