Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1882-11-29
SELECT.
The Singular Vote of Aut Tilbox.
(ooNr1NUED FROM LAST WEEK J

CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK.
"He was again rescued by Hec ant
Marl, and lead tremblin'ly from iys
ters to cider, and from cider back ag'ir
to iysters; but it begun to be everdent
that his capacity was wellnigt
reached. His elerquence was gone
He set harmlessly down on the hearth
of the box-stove, which fortinitly con
tained no fire, and refused every in
clernation to move. But when Mar
whispered to him once more the accus
toned inyertation, dangerous CLEAN
shot from his closin' eyes: Young
man, says be, there is but one word
left that l can hear, and that word is
not a pleasant word, and that word is
tysters and cider, and woe be to him
that speaks it' And he riz up, and
leanin' on the shoulder of bis compat-
terots, disappeared temporarily from
the scene.
1T bein' now somewhat advanced in
the afternoon, suggestion was made
that we should perceed at once to the
polls. But the brotherly feelin' which
always annermated the voters of
Amity, as I have said, gentlemen, has
never permitted the castin' of a hur-
ried and onpermeditated vote. fear,
however, that Williamson had been
indulgin' somewhat too freely in the
cider of the Dimmocracy, when, after
some differculty, he succeeded at
length in reachin' the chair, and pound
ed an entirely Unnecessary length of
time on the counter perlimenary to in
troducin' bill His tones, which at
first was husky, grew clear and loud
as he perceeded.
Il move says he, that an injunc-
tion be put upon the publercation,
cirkerlation, or pursuin' of any
almanick save and exceptin' Rob-
ert B. Thomas's old-fashioned, old
farmers yallar-covered, ten-cent altman
ick! Gentlemen, says he, 4 was in
duced last year to accept another al
manick as gift from an acquaintance.
1 took it home to my family as a in
structor and guide. Gentlemen,
that almanick was the work of an in
cendenderrary and fend. My wife
and me was made to go to church on
Saturday, and wondered to find the
doors of the sanctooary closed ag'in US
We was made the scandal of our neigh
bors by washin' on Sunday, and bakin'
in the middle of the week. Gentle
men, the moon in that almanick was
seen at first quarter in perigee in the
mornin', and fulled in apogee before
night, besides bein' represented of
shape to draw tears from the eyes of
science. December was set down as
showery and January without thaw.
Moreover, in the back part of the al
manick was receipts, among which
was given one removin' stains from
the mouth after eatin' huckleberry
pie. My wife and me inherently ap-
piled the mixter Gentlemen, for days
we was in torments, and our blistered
burnin' mouths was closed to our fami-
ly and friends. Gentlemen, shall not
sech dastardly and inhuman perceedin's
be stopped?' Here Williamson sunk
exhausted into his chair, and the mo-
tion was put and carried by an over
whelmin' majority.
Scarcely had Williamson been re-
moved ere a member of our own party
was brought triumpherntly forrered
by his compatterots and set upon the
chair. His emotions was sech that
that the ruler sank lifeless from his
hands, and it was some time before he
could perceed. He begun in fur
away dyin' tone that graduerly burst
into voice of thunder.
Il am tired says he, of party strife
and. perlitical intrigues. l am sick of
campaigns and nommernations and
Elections and caukerses. | want to
settle it once and forever by nommer-
natin' good hereddertary king. And
| hereby move and nommernate that
Colonel Sonorous B. Bacon be app'int-
ed hereditary king?'
There is no KNOWN, what action
might have been took in regard to my
rash though well-meanin' constituent,
had not our attention been diverted by
the fact that the voters of the town of
Amity was suddenly seen in body
wendin, their way towards the Deep
Gulley and Loud Western railroad
tracks, which tracks, gentlemen run
parallel with each other through the
sand-gap, at distance of some three
or four rods from the Amity Town
hall. Soon l perceived that I was
standin' alone by the deserted polls,
and turned and followed my COM
patterots to learn what might be the
cause of this singerler conduct
Gentlemen, | have already narrated
to you more than was my intention of
the brotherly feelin', the friendly and
am'able perceedin's, which was carried
on in our little town of Amity durin'
this important occasion, but / think l
should fail in my dooty if / neglected
to say that, as fined my companions
in the gap, it was everdent that the
bettin' had been high and the stakes
was about equal For beheld Jones
settin' with his boss and buggy on the
Deep Gully railroad track, calmly
awaitin' the arrival of the Loud Wes-
tern train, with which, yes, gentle
men, with which IL was MS intention
to run parallel in a race through the
gap!
AS gazed upon Jones, I cannot
describe to you the emotions which
temporarily overcome me. l had ex-
pected much of my constituents, but
was not prepared for sech display
patterotism as this. 1 was about to
rush forrered to assure him that this
was Unnecessary, when the roar of the
approachin' train was heard, and calm
ly waitin' to git abreast of The Loud
Western engine, Jones loosened the
reins on his palpertatin' steed, and dis
appeared like meteor up the track.
Gentlemen, have heard it said
that there is singerlarity about the
hocooc and wauuina Of the votars 0f