davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1882-10-28
HUMOROUS.
Erpress.

Christine Nilsson wears a sad and
troubled expression, with two rows OF
pearl buttons down the center and
shirred around the bottom. -Pe0pte's
Weekly.
Late in the day, but better late than
never, it has Just been discovered that
the reason why the Siamese twins got
married was because they could not re-
main single.
"A dummy engine ran over deaf
man in California recently. The deaf
man couldn't hear, and the dummy
couldn't speak. Hence the catastrophe!
detroit Free Press.
On the Rue St. Lazare the other day
chair was seen on which lay hat
with the following notice: ''Please don't
forgot the poor beggar, who is just TAX
ING his breakfast. "-Le Figaro.
The neighbors of woman living
on State street, Hackensack, We're UNI
able to ascertain how she spralned her
wrist until her six-year old son said:
"There was noise in the house last
night and pap thought it was burglars:
and he kept mann in front of him, and
she fell down stairs. ''-NeWark On. ~
Register. s......
The poet wrote that she had q
lovely form, and the German compositor
got hold of 1.-THE poem, not the form
and informed the world that she had
lovely farm. And that is why lot OF
young men of an agricultural turn COM
menced to WOO her for all they-or,
rather, all she was worth. -PucE.
II believe you are fool, john"
testify exclaimed Mrs. Miggs as her
husband unwittingly presented her the
hot end of a potato dish, which she
promptly dropped and broke. '1es."
he added. resignedly, ''that what the
clerk told me when | went to take
out my marriage license. ''-Brooklyn
Eagle.
| "A drv-goods clerk with very az
fected gait had to go to distant paHt Of
The store for some goods for party OF
feminine customers. "Walk this way,
ladies' he called, as he swung himself
off. 'sBut we can't walk that way,'
cried pert miss; 1--WE never learned
that style, you know" The clerk is now
drilling on a more common method. -
Chicago Tribune.
| Wy lllu uSClcoS LsClACHiDcA' '>.iNe
the venerable Brother Gardner, as he
brought the proceedings of the Lime
Kiln Club to close the other evening,
remember, as we percolate home
wards, dat while a pusson may have
voice like tornady an mouth like a
woodshed. de man who winks wild his
left eye allus gets de bes' glass OF sody
water" -Detl0n Free Press.
"A quiet man was travelling short
time ago by rail, and was annoyed by
the noise which two or three men in the
, same car were making One Of them
; had been telling tremendous stories
about himself in a loud voice. and had
, tried once or twice to draw out the quiet
. man. but in vain. At last he turned to
him and said, rather Extensively: Il
fear, sir, our noise has rather incon-
venienced you" mot in the least, y
he replied. Il thought remarked the
noisy man, "that you did not seem in
terested by my stories.' ''Quite the re-
. verse, my dear SIR said the quiet one;
81 am very much so; in feet, l am biz
of a liar myself
St. Landry democrat., 1882-10-28
THE BARNS A At REST.
LOUISIANA

There was din as We neer heard the llke'
'Mang our BARNS the NIGHT roun the hrc-en
A We're busy as bees in bike;
A were blithe as the birds in the glen.
What wi castles and kinks built WI STOOLS,
What wi rhyming at spellings a roun',
What wi playing at ball and at bools
But there's peace now, theyr re cuddieo
doun.
Now the BARNS are asleep, and a calm
Has fan roun' like soft gloamng shade,
And kind Hand, unseen, sheds pam
Ger their wee limbs in WEAKNESS lad.
On their fair chubby faces we see
Sic an evenly sweetness of rest
That We d doubt but they'd bOrroW'd wee
Frae the far-awa' realms O the blest.
Like wee birds in a nest do they cowr,
By ilk other so coy and KIN
o, their beds like rose-bed in f1owr,
And our chances O love on it shine.
o, AVA wi your glairy gOwd crown,
Frae the cunning cauld fingers o ArtI
But hurrah for the BARNS that nae grown l.,
Like living love-wreath roun the heart!
Ha, let's wheesht.+ AS we warm in their
We might waken some flaxen-haired loon;
See already shot out frae the claes
just as 1.-the a wee limbs in the toOn!
Hap it DER, hap it DER. Bonnie BARN,
Whaur ava may that wee tootle pace!
The RIGHT gait O the worlds i'll to learn.
And fair Fortune is tickle to chase
There are hid meath these lashes so long,
The full cen that are stars or the DAY;
There lies silent the nursery song,
On those lips fresh as mornings IN May,
And there beats in these bosoms a life
More o promise than Spring-buds are CIV n
That must meet the worlds favor or strife,
And shall make them or mar them 1o1
Heav'n.
Will We guard them, We angels O Peace,
In this haven, in the curtains o NIGHT?
WiIIye guide them when dangers increase,
Heaving out in their day-ocean tight?
For O. whaur, frae the bairne so wee
To the bairnie the biggest of a
Is the ain we'd first part wi, and see
To bed in the moOls+ taen aWaI
marbles. Whisper. 1.-THE grave.
Good Words.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
The Rosebud Afioat Again.

The following from the Bismarck I5S-
bune of the 2lst, gives meagre particulars
OF the sinking of the Rosebud:
News was received yesterday after
noon OF the sinking Of the steamer Rose
bud, one of the champion stealilers OF
the Coulson line. A dispatch from
Stevenson last evening says b ran on a
snag and sank in three feet OF water at
Eerthold, and that she can probably be
raised. There were twenty passengers
on board, who were transferred to the
Big Horn, which is expected to-day.
Capt. Maratta has gone up to Berthold
to investigate the matter
The same paper on the next day con
tains the following additional and graft
flying intelligence:
"Major Kirk yesterday received a dis
patch from Capt. Lingo, Of the steamer
Gen. Sherman, stating that he was
near by when the Rosebud became dis
abled, and had spent a day with the
boat; that the leak had been stopped,
the boat pumped dry, and the craft again
afioat. This is cheering news to those
interested in the Rosebud, and the
friends Of Capt. Maratta, who would
lose heavily by the loss of the boat. It
will be remembered that the Rosebud
last fall saved the Gen. Sherman from
total wreck, near Pierre. The Sherman
believes in paying her debts, and there
fore her account with the Rosebud may
now be considered square. The Sher-
man was expected last night some time
if not bothered by wind, but it is probable
she was delayed until to-day
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
Botkin ct Sun River.

Col. Botkin spoke to large and en-
thusiastic audience at Sun River Satur-
day night. The Fort Shaw band was on
band to discourse music. and quite an
interesting time was had. The school
house was crowded, a considerable num-
Der of the ladies of the Crossing being in
attendance, and the next delegate to
congress entertained them in a most ac-
ceptable manne for about an hour.
Considering the bad weather, it was a
most creditable and enthusiastic meet
ing. Sun River promises 3 good report
on the 7th Of November.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
NO MORE A THIEVES RETREAT.
The Camp on Milk River Has Accom-
plished Much Good, and Will Soon
BE Abandoned.

Late dispatches from the umm
camp at the Big Bend Of the Milk river,
says the Pioneer Press, have been re-
ceived, whichindicate a satisfactory con
dition of affairs in that section, therefore,
the haunt of half-breed srnugglers and
Indian raiders and horse thieves. The
camp was established early in July last
by troops fronl Fort A~ssinaboine. con
sisting Of troops L and 1t, Second cav
airy, and companies A, F, III and K,
Eighteenth infantry, under the com-
nland of Capt. E. r. Kellogg. Second
cavalry, for the purpose of holding in
check the Indians from the British pos
sessions and keeping them from hunt
ing and committing depredations on this
side Of the boundary line. The par
pose Of the movement has been pretty
effeetually accomplished and the In
disns have given the camp q wide
berth. There has been considerable
scouting during the last two months,
but apart from this the only thing re-
sembling active warfare took place soon
after their arrival at Big Bend, when
Capt. Kellogg pursued and captured q
party Of twenty-four Crees and six half
breeds. disarmed them and sent them
over the border. Scouts have recently
come into Big Bend with the news that
Big Bear, who essays the role Of Sitting
Bull in that region with the band OF
Little Pine CFees, has left his camp near
the boundary and gone to Fort Walsh.
In view Of this change of base, and the
near approach Of cold weather, it is
understood that the camp at Big Bend
will be abandoned about the 1st of Octo-
Der, and a portion Of Capt. Kellogg's
command will be stationed atsome point
within easy communication with and
nearer Fort Assinaboine. The remain
der will return to the fort.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
A $40 Biblical Reward.

The publishers Of Rutlbdge's Monthly
offer ten valuable rewards in their Month
III for October, among which is the fol-
lowing:
We will give $40 in gold to the person
telling us which verse in the Old Testa-
mlent Scriptures contains the greatest
number OF words by October 10th, 1882.
Should two or more correct answers be
received, the reward will be divided.
The money will be forwarded to the
winner October 18th, 1882. Persons try
ing for the reward must send % cents in
silver mo postage stamps taken1 with.
their answer, for which they will receive
the November Monthly, in which the
name and address Of the winner OF the
reward and the correct answe will be
published. This may be worth $40 to
YOU cut it out. Address RUTLEDGE
PUBLISHING COMPANY, Easton, Penn.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
Whoever Knew g Person

Having sore throat but what their blood
was impure. DIR. e. b. Halliday's
Blood Purifier is your remedy in all such
cases. Gargle the medicine in your
throat before swallowing, and every dose
will give you relief. In cases Of ulcer
ated sore throat or mouth, use in con
nection DIR. E. B. TEalliday's Throat
Gargle. Sold by all western druggists.
w. J. Minar, wholesale andretail agent,
Fort Benton, Montana. S. Blachford,
proprietor, PA East Seventh street, St.
Paul. Mimi.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
PERSONAL

From saturdays Daily.
Il. j. Morrison, Of 2hilbrook, judith
Basin, was at Billings On the 23d inst.
We regret to lean that Isaac Nee,
who has been i'll lo~rseveral weeks, is not
improving.
-Charley Price has been quite i'll
since his return from the north, but is
now, WI are glad to report, improving.
Bob Main, of the firm of Main &
Smith, and Mike Duvall, Q wood dealer,
arrived yesterday from Rocky Point.
j. S. McGinn, who hasbeen in Ben
ton several days past, will leave for Win
nlpeg, going by way Of Fort Macleod,
to-day or tomorrow.
John Moffittreturned yesterday FROM
Helena, having madea stay of several
days at the capital. He says it looked
pretty blue for the fair when he left.
From Tuesdays Daily:
j. c. Bothine returned from Barker,
Sunday evening, and reports everything
lively at that camp.
Alex. G. Botkin arrived by his own
conveyance, yesterday afternoon, and il
pleasantly domiciled at j. M. Powers
rooms, in the building adjoining T. G..
Power & Bros store. He stood the
long and tedious trip remarkably well,
and was DESTROYS Of filling his appoint
ment last evening, but on the advice Of
others consented to the poatponement.
Quite o number of friends called upon
him at his rooms last evening.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
Eighty-tive Dollars Lost.

You do not tell me that your hus-
band is up and entirely cured by so
simple q medicine as Parker's Ginger
Tonic?o Eyes, indeed, ! do,o said
Mrs. benjamin to her. neighbor; ''and
after we had lost eighty-five dollars In
doctors bills and prescriptions. Now
my husband feels as well SIS ever
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
Fall

We have received u new fall goods,
consisting of rich fur lined dolnans, ele-
CANT silk garments, black diagonal circu-
lars, light cloth dolmans and jackets,
and children's suits. Also, all the latest
novelties in millinery goods, such as
beaver, seal, plush and velvet hats,
trimmed and untrimmed. Cur millin-
cry Department cannot be compared
with in Montana. We keep the Alex
andre kid gloFein all the newest shades
in 8, 4and six buttons, and a full line of
mDusquetaire gloves in kid, char1ois and
castor. We have also on hand q complete
line Of children's shoes andslippers.
r. G. POWER s. Bro.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
THE RIVER

working for +. G.. Baker & Co, died
suddenly Of heart disease in his bed at h
Centennial house, yesterday morning.
He had been out on the streets butt few
moments before, and seemed in his usuai
good health and spirits. An inquest
was held by Coroner Kelly, and the YER
dict Of the jury is that death resulted
from paralysis of the heart. The de-
ceased came TO Benton from Butte.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-10-04
A Peerless Perfume.

The refreshing aroma Of FIoreston
Cologne, and its lasting fragrance make
it peerless perfume fer the toilet.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
Pointed Paragraphs.

From the Chicago SentneL1
-. The Greenback was the country's
savior in the day of its peril.
-. Dent forget for a moment that q
National debt is National curse.
-. While the farmer is asleep inter-
est money is devouring his substance.
-. An Understanding mortgage or
bond works night and day, Sundays and
all
80. Greenbackism means humanity,
justice, liberty, equality, prosperity and
fraternity.
If the Greenback dollar was
good in times of war, it is good in
times of peace.
The Greenback work is the work
of men with iron in their blood and
God in their hearts.
.Greenbackism means progress
and civilization; hard money means a
relapse into barbarism.
... Rally round the grand old Green
back flag and plant it upon the enemy $
works or perish in the attempt.
%. The National Bank note is a forced
loan upon the publ for the benefit OF
private corporations.
-. Money is a creation of law, and
not dependent upon the intrinsic value
OF the material out of which it is made.
80" Eternal vigilance is the price Of
liberty and eternal vigilance should be
the motto of all sincere and earnest
Greenbackers.
%. The farmer works twelve hours a
day in the heat of the sun, while the in
terest-suckers and tax devoururs sit
under the shade of trees concocting
schemes to rob him of the products OF
his labor.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
The End Mans Jokes.

"Ihev bin axed," began Brother Gard
ner, of the Detroit Lime Kiln Club, "what
relashun de negro minstrel troupe b ars
to de Gull race. To return an off-hand
answer, l should say dat it b ars about
the same relashun dat hasty puddin'
does to a ten-thousand dollar paintin'.
If dar am any relashun whatever, l hev
neber bin able to diskiver it. De Gull d
man may dance an sing, but he nebber
trabbles on his ignorance nor on de
jokes an gags of de pas gineration. If
twenty Guild men should put on wigs
an paint up to resemble twenty white
men, an sot down befo' de public an
ask why an elephant was like gimlet,
and what was de difference. between q
clam on de sand and sand on de clam,
dey would be hooted off de stage. Yet,
de public will see white men disguise
deirselves as negroes an applaud de
gags an jokes, an conundrums dat de
poorest African in Detroit would be
ashamed to acknowledge. If de public
bankers fur sich shows, an mus hev
'em, let 'em 60 on, but doan' let white
folks deceive deirselves or be deceived
Continer to call 'em negro minstrel
shows, but doan' look fur de negro in
'em. He amt dar. He's home in de
busum of his family, warmth his feet,
learnin' de chillen to read, an tellin' de
ole woman dat all flesh am grass
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
Children Adrift Oh q Door.

Yesterday afternoon about three
o'clock little girl and boy. about
eight and eleven years old respectively,
children of Octave Leteb rs, labor
er at Laprairie, were pla ing on an
old door in the river opposite the viii
lage. The wind was rather strong
and gust carried the plank with its
living freight into the middle of the
current, which bore them rapidly out
OF sight of their home. They clung
together and held their perilous posi-
tion as the stream bore them mile after
mile from their home. The steamer
Lapraire passed them. Their screams
could be heard and were answered, but
no assistance came to them. The
steamer Prince Arthur also passed
chem near the Victoria Bridge, but the
captain said the current was too strong
70 allow OF his rescuing them. He.
however, notified the river police. but
;he children tloated on until they came
o the Longueuil ferry wharf. There
hey were rescued by the captain of
,arce. Montrcal Witness.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
The Valley Of Death.

The Valley OF Death, spot almost as
terrible as the prophets valley of dry
bones, lies just north of the old Nor
mon road to California, in Utah-a re-
gion thirtv-five miles long by thirty
broad, and surrounded, except at two
90 nts, bv inaccessible mountains. 1t is
totally devoid of water and vegetation,
and the shadow of bird or wild beast
1ever darkened its white, glaring sands.
The Kansas Pacific Railroad engineers
discovered it and some papers which
show the fate OF the ''lost Montgomery
train which came south from Salt
Lake in 1850, guided by Mormon.
When near Deaths Valley some came
to the conclusion that the Mormon
knew nothing about the country, so
they appointed one of their number as
leader and broke off from their party.
The leader turned due west, so with
the peonle. and wagons and hocks he
travelled three days and then descended
into the broad valley whose treacher-
GUS mirage promised water. They
reached the center. but only the white
sands bounded by scorching peaks met
their gaze. And around the valley
they wandered, and one by one the
meH uieu, anu Gho panCinG moe y
stretched themselves in death under
the sun. The children, crying for
water. died at their mothers breasts
and with swollen tongues and burning
vitals the mothers followed. Wagon
after w gon was a andoned and strong
men tottered. and raved and died.
Alter weeks wanderings. a dozen
survivors found some water in the hol
low of a mountain. 1t lasted by short
time, when all perished but two. who
escaped out of the valley and followed
the trail of the former companions.
Eightv-seven families with hundreds of
animals perished here. and now, after
thirty-one years, the wagons stand
still complete. the iron works and tires
are bright. and the shriveled skeletons
lie side by side.-huby Hill (Colo.)
NeWS.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
The freshmen of Brow

The freshmen of Brown University,
in Providence, Z. L., ordered their an
nual dinner of caterer, and prepared
to have an elaborately good time, in
cluding speeches and songs. At the
time appointed, they marched in pro-
cession to the dining hall, with banners
flying and appetites sharp. They found
the tables little red with scant remnants
of the feast, which had been eaten by
the sophomores who had imposed them
selves on the caterer, and induced him
to get the dinner ready an hour earlier.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
The recent death of John Barnar,

The recent death Of John Barnard
by being struck by a train at the Havre
de Grace end of the Susquehanna bridge
was accompanied by strange circum-
stance. The body was found hanging
between two of the floor timbcrs of the
bridge over the street, the shoulders hav-
ing become jammed between them. The
head was badly mashed, and life had
been for some time extinct when the
body was discovered.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09

Dalton, Mass, has town pauper
who is nearly ninety-nine years of age.
This individual is one Noah CLARK, who
was some fifty years age Hampdep
County Sheriff and keeper of the Spring
field jail.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
HARPER'S PERIODICALS
pER YEAR.
PER YEAR,

Postage free 10 all parts cf the United States %
Cdndid.
Inc volume OF the Magazine begin with the
Numbers oi June aud December OF each year.
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rent Number.
A complete set Of Harper's Magazine, eompr-
sing 6S Volumes In neat cloth binuing, will be
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Index to Harpers Magssine, Alphabetical,
Analy teal, and Classified, for Volumes to 90, IN
elusive from june 1880, TO June, 1880, one voi'
svo, cloth, 81 90.
Reinittanees should be made by rost-o Mon
ey Order or Draft, to avoid chance OF loss
Newspapers are not ~ COPY this adverisement
without the express oIdercf HarperS brothers
Address HARPER & BROTHERS, New York
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
THE DAILY TlMEs-srAR,

AQM pages, J0sty-etaM sota~sNs. only sfx
0ollnTu 4 year, o for eix nlonths, el.H0
~ 1NEoo 6onths. HAs the largest clrcula-
a0n a any paper In Cncinaati. II tie best
advytaanS medium and the bsst paper for
doinD a promptly a. the news can be iI,l.
parted. Address 1fmes-Star, Cipcippati, q,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09

One yeur [52 90
Postage free 10 al subscribers in the United States
or CdadGGS.
The volumes of tine Weekly begin with the first
Number Of january of each year. When no time
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The last Twelve Annual Volumes of Harper's
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Newspapers are not to copy this advertisement
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Address. HARPER * BltUIIIEItS, New York
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
1882.
1882.
Harper's Weekly.
ILLUSTRATED.

- s.<ssS
T1rBcr's HesIIy stands at the head OF American
illustrated weekly jouanals. BY its unpai tisan
post Lon in politics. its admirable illustrations its
carefully chosen serials, hort stories sketches and
poems, contributed by the formost artists add au-
thors of the day, it carries instruction and enter
tsnmert to thousands of American homes
1t will always I've the aim OF the publishers tc
make UGy7,er's Heekiy the most posular and at.
tarctive family newspaper i'll the world.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
1882.
Earper's Magazine.
II I.IJSTR ATET

''Always varied, alw1y good; always improving.
Charles Francis Adams lr.
Hdrper'S Naga-iRe; the most popular illustrated
periodical in the world, begins its sixty-fourth
volume with the December Number. 1t represents
what is best in American literature and Art; and
art: and its marked success In England-where 1t
eas ready circulation larger than that of any
Eng Use magazine of the same class-has brought
into service the eminent writers and artists OF
Great Briaain. The forthcoming volumes of 1852
will in every respect surpass their predecessors
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-03-09
l. a It h
] Studding. Joice,

and every descripri,n Of heavy timber
kept constantly on hand. All kinds Of
lum her worked to order ard all orders
promptly filed and satisfaction guaran-
iced.
We will be found at the old Foundry
Property near X. r. crossing and Logsn
road. s. l. W. SNlDER.