The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1882-12-30


Etc. o
NEW YORK, December Is, 1882.
EDITOR CHIEF:
Is this the law7
Aye, marry, is't; crowner's quest law.
Shakespeare.
In the olden time it was the custom to
bury the suicide at the cross roads and
drive stake through his. body to teach
him the lesson that the Irishman II taught
the skunk, that there was punishment
after death. Now while we don't pretend
in New York to follow them beyond the
grave. il the enicido is not fortunate
enough to succeed in his felonious de-
sign his chances are excellent for ak
months sojour,s IN tho pel.itentiary. We
have u couple Of cases now on hand
where ono suicide was fshed out of the
river, aud OH being arraigned before the
police justice was promptlyscommitted
to the penitentiaty. The other was q
nice. young female, who has made no
fower than six attempts on her life, and
very determined sttempts, too, but by
some mysterious providence has failed
every time. Twice sho has jumped into
the river from ferryboats, and each time
has been fished out, more dead than
alive, but still with life enough to pull
through. Twice s'e has swallowed la"-
danu.n cnongh tokill half dozen men.
Once she took chbral; and year ago
she laid down to die in a suowbank i'll
Jersey City, and after being almost fire.
zen to death she was rescued by avigi-
laut policeman who took her to the
station house and shawcd her out. After
all these mishaps she turned up the
other night wandering aimless'y about
the streets. aud now it is to he hoped
that the authorities will find some place
of safety for this poor distransht, where
she can neither harm herself nor anybody
else.
We are all delighted with the pretty
little romance published in the Herald
about Linda Gilbert's burglar. Miss Gil
bert is one of those kind-hearted ladies
who has devoted herself to the reform o1
the criminal classes she is an unf1inchine
advocate of the law of kindness. What
Henry Berg is to wind-galled and spav'
ined horses, Miss Gilbert is to burglars
pickpockets aud gnrroters. Miss Gilbert's
logic is unanswerable: firstly, all crime
is caused by necessity that is to say
that if a pickpockst had all the handker
chiefs and pocketbooks he wanted, hi
would not pick any more, and that th'
proper way to prevent crime is to giv'
the pickpocket what he requires, ant
forthwith he ceases to be pickpocke
and becomes a .vsry respectable membe
Of society. Ergo, if burglar think
about cracking bank, the best thing
the bank can do is to remove the burgla
from temptation by making him
present of ten thousand dollars. Mis-
Gilbert has struck the keynote of sue
cess. and she informs us that she ha
written to Jay Gould and w. H. Wander
bilt, informing them that they had bette
keep their weather-eyes open if they wan
to keep their ducats. On Sunday nigh
Miss Gilbert lay in her boudoir thinking
of some general scheme to benefit til
criminal classes. "It was the witch
ing hour of night, when church-yard
yawr," aud as Miss Linda was lying o
her couch she found o burglar in he
room. Did she raise row and screa1
ont "thieyesw w "thieves % "thicvesw Nc
a bit Of it; sl,o got up and approachin
the thief, said: ~ am one of your bes
friends; I am Linda Gilbert" "Is
possible" said the thief, "that you al
Linda Gilbertf I never heard OF 20
before" II am" said she; ''sit dow
Mr.. Burglar, I pray" She then bega
to question him, and at last the burgls
told her he was repentant, that he W;
poor and starving; thea Linda went
tho pantry shs fonnd two ducks,
pound of LimLurges cheese, large 81
logna sausage, some English plum pu'
ding, a dozen Of eggs, some canned oy
ters and few other deiicaeies, and ga
nishing the whole with brand ne
five dollar bill she sent the burglar {
his way rejoicing. He would bo q TO
Of u burglar who would take his chan
of being shot When he could get sui
Christian treatment ~ this. One thi'
is certain, and that is that the easie
way to get rid of burglar is to 81
him "a fifty dollar bill, inasmnch as It'll
duces the danger of robbery to !. mil
mum, and for timid people it is certain
worth trying.
1t is a matter of congratulatiou til
the great bridge which connects Ne
York and Brooklyn is to be opened
foot travel early in January. The to
will have to amount to Il million doila
year to pay the interest OH the bon'
and considerably overa million to pay t
running expenses. There Will be t'
lines Of cars worked by an endless cha
one train constantly running to Brook
and the other to New York. The brid
is nearly mile in length from termin
to terminus, and wheu constructed "
7 be the most magnificent structure OF
kind in the world.
For many months our main sire
have been in chaos, owing to the ste