The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-12-16
NUMBER AZ.

was eating some of my paper collars
and skate straps"
we went up stairs and told pa to-
come up pretty soon and give three
"lStlhct raps, and when we asked him
VINO comes there he must say "a pill
garlm who wants join your ancient
ORDER and ride the goat.' Ma wanted
10 come up, too, but we told her if
she come in 1t would break up the.
lodge' cause woman cOuld dn't keep
secret, and we didn't have a side
saddle for the goat. Say, ofyou never
tried it, the next time you nitinte a
man IN your Mason's lodge, YOU
sprinkle little kyan pepper on the.
goats beard just before you turn him
loose. You can get three times as
much to the square inch of goat. You
wouldn't think it was the same goat.
well, we got all fixed and pa raped,
and we let him in and told him he
fmust.be blindfolded, and he cot ON
his knees laffing and I tied towel
around his eyes and then turned him
around and made him get down on
his hands also, and then his back was
right toward the closet door, and T
put the buck beer sign right against
pas clothes. He was laffing all the,
time, and said we boys were as full of
fun as they made 'em, and we told
him it was a solemn occasion. but we
wouldn't permit no levity and if he
didn't stop lat1ing we couldn't give
MIN the grand bumper degree. Then
everything was ready, and my chum
had his hand on the closet door, ard
some kyan pepper in his other hand,
and asked pa in low bass tones if
he felt as though he wanted to turn
back, or if he had nerve enough to 90
ahead and take the degree. | warned
him that it was full of dangers as the
goat was loaded for beer, and told
hlm he yet had time TO retrace his,
steps if he wanted to. He said he.
wanted the whole business. and we
could go ahead with the managerie.
linen L sad to pa that if ne had de-
clded to go ahead, and not blame us
Tor the consequences, to repeat after
me the following: Bring forth the
Royal Bumper, and let him Bump y
Pa repeated the words, and nv chum
sDrinkled the kyan pepper on the
goats mustache, and he sneezed once
and looked sassy, and then he see the
larger beer goat raring up. and he
started for it just like cow. catcher
and blatted. Pa is real fat, but he
H"~'~ he l-e><l So. ,.iu, i,v SrunIeu
and said: Hell fire what you boys
doin' = and then the goat gave him
another degree, and pa pulled off the
towel and got up and started tor the
stairs, and so did the goat and ma
was at the bottom of the stairs listen
ing, and when | looked over the BAN
listers pa and ma and the goat were
all in heap, and pa was yelling
murder and ma screaming fire, and
the goat was batting, and sneezing
bunting, and the hired girl came into
the hall and the goat took after her.
and she crossed herselfius as the GOAT
strick her, and said /: 'Howly mother
protect mep and went down stairs
the way we boys slide down hill, with
both hands on he self, and the goat
rared up and blatted, and pa and ma
went into their room and shut the
door, and then my chum and me-
opened the front door and drove the
goat out. The minister, who comes
to see ma three times a week, was,
just ringing the bell, and the goat
thought he wanted to be nishiated.
too, and gave him one for luck, and
then went down the sidewalk blatting
and sneezing, and the minister came
in the parlor and said he was stabbed.
and then pa came out of his room
with his suspenders hanging down.
AS ne didn't know the minister WAS
there he said cuss words, and ma cried
and told pa he would 90 to hell sure.
and pa said he didn't care, he would
kill that kussid goat afore he went.
and l told pa the minister was i'm the
parlor, and he and ma went down
and said the weather was propftious
for revival, and it seemed as though
an outpouring of the spirit was about
to be vouchsated To His people, and
none of them sot down but ma, cause
the goat hidn't hit her, and while
they was talkin' religion with their
months, and kussln the goat inward.
ly, my chum and me adjourned the
lodge, and | went and stayed with
him all night and hain't been home
since but don't believe pa will lick.
cause he said he wOald not hold us,
responsible for the consequences. He
ordered the goat hiSSelf, and we filled
the ORDER, don't you see p Well. I
guess ! will go and sneak in the back
way and find out from the hired pirI
how the land lays. She won't 90 back
on me, cause the goat was not loaded
for hired girls. She just happened to-
oct in 1t thp WrOnn tinno E,~l -