Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1882-02-08
Young Fools That Marry

| WIZ Ept e""o y"""b 'e""" '"''
broke yet,
IAN Illinois justice has decided that
"courtship Ia u public necessity and
must not be interrupted therefore, 1t q
young fellow wanted TO kiss girl, he
might first put her father ont OF the
room if he liked"
The publication of the above item
may cause some smart young man Ia
do something he will regret, The
lame, sickly looking father Of girl
may ,vniV i.,v - ro.ia. snme ni0hi
and find the warm-hared youth on the
sofa with the girl, aud when the old
man speaks Of il being time TO put q
stop to such nonsense, the young man
with the above judicial decision in his
mind will tell his prospective fathcr-in-
law to wipe of his vest and 60 to bed,
The old man will then spit on his hands
and grasp the warm-haired young man
by the county seat and tie him up in a
double bow knot, put scarf pin on
him, and throw him out on the path to
the gate, and then he will turn and
slap the girl across where the dress is
padcd, and she will 60 up stairs with
her hand on her heart as it were, and
the old man will jump up and say
"whoop - The young men of this
country have gall enough about visit
ting girls in the evening, at their homes
without filling their heads with any
such ideas in regard to their legal
rights. There are few fathers who
would quietly submit to being told to
60 away by a young man with a strip
cd necktie and pants too short at the
bottom. These sparkers are looked
upon by the parents as nuisance, and
often they look so green that it is laugh
able to the old folks to look at them.
They generally haven't got n second
shirt, and they are no more qualified to
get married, than steer is fit to
preach. And yet marrying is the first
thing they think of. A green boy'
without dollar, present or in pros
pectivc, sparkling girl regularly and
talking about marrying is spectacle
for gods and man. He should be rea-
soned with, and if he will not quit it
until he is able to support wife, and
to know the difference between love and
passion, he should be quarantined or
put in convent erected on purpose for
such cases.
Nine-tenths of the unhappy marria-
ges are the results ofgreen human calves
being allowed to run at large in the
society pasture without any yokes on
them. They marry and have children
before they do moustaches they are
fathers of twins before they are propri-
etors of two pairs ofpants, and the girls
they marry are old women before they
are 20 years old. Occasionally one of
those gosling marriages turn out all
right, but it is clear case of luck. 1t
there was a law against young galoots
sparkling and marrying before they have
got all their teeth cut, we suppose the
little cusses would evade it some way,
but there ought to be a sentiment
against it. 1t is time enough for these
bantams to think of finding a pullet
when they have raised money by their
own work to buy a bundle of laths to
build a hen house. But they see girl
who looks cunning, and they are afraid
there is not going to be girls enough to
60 round and they begin to get in
their work real spry, and, before they
own a cook-steve or beadstead, they
have got up in the night and gone after
the doctor, so frightened that they run
themselves out of breath, and abuse the
doctor because he does not run too, and
when the gets there he finds that there
in not linen enough in the house to
wrap up doll baby. 1t is about this
time that young man begins to real
ize that he has been colossal fool, and
as he flies around to heat water, and
bring in the bath-tub, and goes whoop-
ing after his mother or her mother, he
turns pale around the gills, his hair
turns red in a single night, and he calls
high heaven to witness that if he lives
until morning, which he has some
doubts about, he will turn over a new
leaf and never get married again till he
is older.
And in the morning the green look
; ing "father" is around before the drug
stores are open, with no collar on, his