The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1882-11-04


needle by those expert in the process.
The public is in blissful ignorance OF
the jobs which. the upholsterers have
when these Willoughby's pets SO thor
oughly take possession of set OF furni-
ture that the covering and stuifing is
stripped to the bare frame in order to
GUST the tormentcrs. Several years ago
an extensive upholstering establishment
was forced to entirely suspend operations
for a season, so overwhelming was the
flea scourge, while in 1867 New York
City suffered from q most peculiar and
notorious visitations The attendants upon
Grace Church were suddenly afflicted
with an intolerable itching. which proved
destructive to all spiritual exercises The
devil had entered that sacred edifice, and
while he came not as an angel of light
or as q roaring lion, he came as cometh
the wicked fea-in truth he was the flea,
and the last part of the description was
| literally fulfilled; he came seeking whom
he might devour. In no form more than
| in the gtlise of q flea can Satan hope for
success in subverting the sanctities Of
a church; and so it proved with Grace
Church in 1867. The first installment
of uneasy and distracted worshipers was
noticed in the corner to the left of the
chancel. The next Sunday abstraction
gave way to distraction, the whole half
Of the sanctuary on one side of the broad
aisle being infested. The third Sabbath
nearly the entire edifice was overrun, and
so grievous had the annoyance become
that the church was closed and the he
roic remedy resorted to of removing all
the cushions, tearing out all the carpets
andreplacing the entire fittings with new.
There is divergence of opinion con-
corning the conditions favorable to the
best development of the sand flea life and
activity. One man says that he has seen
no fleas this year, because it was an
early wet season. while another affirms
that a wet season always brings the fleas.
From one authority it is learned that fleas
revel in hot weather, while another is
positive that flea can only do his level
best when it is cold.
A careful observer has ascertained
that our Normal Art School was first in
tested with the sand flea some two years
ago, and in this light the only wonder is
that, if the thing were possible; the leg
islative investigation was not more acri-
monious than it really proved. But the
very climax of malignity is reached
when the wicked flea ensconces himself
in the luxuriant folds of the chair occu-
pied by legislative presiding officer.
He then becomes the well authenticated
emissary of the evil one. No one appre-
ciates better than the flea that che who
doubts is damned" and he fixes his vic
tim SO that he shall doubt Just at the
critical moment. What can be moro
unfortunate than to compel q political
aspirant to Ego hunting for fleas" just
as he is balancing the niceties of tie
vote? 1t has been asserted that the Ser
geat-at-Arms of certain western Leg
islature was bribed to pack-not eau
cus-but the seats of certain leading
members with sand feas, the whole
course Of legislation being changed
thereby.
We learn from surgeon in the army
Of the Potomac that fieas never troubled
the troops in Virginia during the late
war, but from q quartermaster, who
served in Florida, we gathered data both
instructive and amusing. The troops
about Pensacola were overrun with the
multitudinous and tormenting pest. 1t
was ascertained that sand flea cannot
jump higher than three feet, and that its
longitudinal Ieaping capacity is about
the sane. One method Of circumvent-
ing the flea practiced by the officers there
was to strip stark and climb into elevated
hunks. looming night clothes aloft. This
expedient was inadequate. They then
made immense cotton pillowcases, in
which they buried themselves at night,
gathering the quicker so closely about
the neck as to prove almost suffocating.
But when. one night, the quartermaster
had bagged himself up until he sconsid-
cred that hermetical joint had been
secured about his compressed throat,
and, despite those precautions, had been
driven out of night-bag by sixteen fleas
which somehow got in. he abandoned
the experiment and tried another. On
vessel in the harbor our quartermaster
could easily detect every flea; and,
again, = flea cannot jump on blanket
with long, soft nap-for once flea
was outwitted. The feas in the room
were driven upon this blanket and then
dumped into pail Of water, where they
could swim but not jump.
The Hungarian shepherds have an
absolutely infallible remedy for fIeas;
and it is here commended to an aesthetic
generation. Those Hungarians of the
pastoral crook simply out-n erod Herod.
They ''go one better than the fieas can
| = IL