The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-12-01
RESEARCHES In MY POCK-
ETS3

l. C1N1lldAS AOo0lAS law, w do LII
vited to dine a. the garrison mess.
had never been at a similar enter
tainment and L cannot but think,
now that l look back on it, that the
officers played a trick on me. l
only know that they were prodigi
ously polite, which always looks
suspicious. From a certain point,
from the third course, remember
very little; sort of cloudy curtain |
intercepts the view like the curtains
that come down in pantomimes, and |
all the rest of it is like a pantomime, |
and l don't know whether I was
clown, or Pantaloon, or Celumbine.
Yet something must have hap
pened to me, a great many things.
I've been sleeping in my white tie;
and then my facet What a shock
ingly yellow, dissipated face! Upon
my word, it is a pretty affair! At
my time, one and tN enty, to be over
come by wine like a school boy out
for holiday [ can not express
what | think Of it.
How am [ to know what happen
ed last night? Ask my landlady ?
No, l can not let her see how
ashamed l am. Besides, she would
only know the condition in which
I came home; and that l can guess.
They say, that from a single bone
Prof. Owen can reconstruct an entire
antediluvian animal; l must try
and do something similar to re
construct my existence during the
last twelve or fourteen hours.
[ must get hold of two or three
clews.
Where can 1 find them?
In my pockets, perhaps.
Since [ was small boy [ have
always had the habit of stufing
them with all manner Of things,
now, this is the time for me to
search them.
l tremble. What shall l find.
[ have gently insinuated two
fingers into my Waistcoat-pocket
and have brought out my purse.
Empty Hang it!
On picking up my overcoat l have
found my pocket book, half open,
and the papers fallen from it on the
carpet.
The first of these letters which
catches my eye is the carte of last
nights dinner. Well, who was there?
How many Of us? Several of the
fellows [ knew, of course; but
which Of them? Happy thought!
The men will remind me Of their
various tastes and reveal their names
to me
Oysters. Well l know that the
colonel is a tremendous hand at oys-
tiers, so am sure he was there.
Mulligataway. That is Captain
Simpkin's soup, or rather liquid fire.
so Simpkins was there. Two of
them.
Roast beef. Makes me think of
little Dumerque, the Jersey man
who wants to be a thorough Eng
ishman. He was there.
Saddle Of mutton. Tom Horseley,
the inveterate steeplechaser.
Charlotte Russo. That is Ned
Walker, who published his travels
from peterborough to Petersburg"
Now [ know pretty well who
some Of my fellow guests were. AS
for the others
Hullol were there women at the
mess? No, certainly not. Then we
must have talked of women, and
the men must have Given me pho
tographs of their female relatives.
Strange things to do; especially, as
don't know the ladies'. Here's an
ancient and fsh-like parsonage in a
blue Jersey. Dumerque's grand
mother, I'll be bound. Here's a
stout, middle-aged dame, widow.
probably. I know Simpkins wants
to marry widow, but why give me
her portrait?
And this is charming Quite in
the modern syle-low forehead,
small nose, tiny mouth and eyes,
and what splendid eyes! and such
! lashes She is fair, as well as one
can Judge from photograph. And
the little curls on her head are like
rings of gold, And so young, a mere
child. A lovely figure; our fore
fathers would have compared her
to a rose-tree, but then our fore
fathers were not strong in smiles.
She has neither earrings nor neck
lace; perhaps that gives her that
look of disdain. Disdain! She
knows nothing get of life, but tries
to seem tired of it. They are all
like that.
Who is che? She must be the
Colonel's daughter; I've heard that
this daughter is a pretty girl. !
must have expressed my warm ad.
mlration of the photograph, and be
must have responded by giving if
to me. Did ask him for her hand ?
Did he refuse it, or put off his re-
ply? Perhaps that was why | drank
too much.
Now let me proceed. What fur
ther happened? Let me commune
my researches.
By Jingol Two visiting cards !
The first says:
Captain Wellington spesrman.
First Royal Lancer Dragons
The other:
IN sor General Haveluck Cannon.
Rife Artillery"
Now, what does it all mean
do not know those military co,+1a1