The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-08-26
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
A hot spcll-H-o-t.
A war poet-A BON. bard.


Natucset has a girl pilot only II years old
Knows all the boys in the sound, you can bet.
"Th,s dog seems 10 be attached to me-" as tn
follow said when the mastitf had him by tn,
slack Of his pantaloons.
The inter. Ocean, after a column long disserta
ton on tlIo,, comes 10 the Bunsbian conclusion
"Either the fly Is to be encouraged or means TAX
en- TO exterminate him"
The lumbermen have advanced prices again
People will not much longer be able to afford
wooden cotlins. Buffalo Express.
A Jersey veteran is claiming u pension
and seventeen years arrears on the ground o.
''chronlc laziness, contracted In the army"
Talmage is dispensing acrobatic theology In
New England. New England should console
Itself that no country is entirely exempt from
annoyances.
The druggists OF Iowa are allowed to sell al
cOhol ''for artistic purposes" and some Of the
old topers get 1t under that excuse in order to
paint their noses.
Beef is going down in price. A banker went
to market this morning, and after paying for q
roast had enough money left to hire boy to car
~ 1t home.
Among the notables at Long Branch ia Road.
Commissioner HAYES, Of Fremont, o. Mr.. Hayes
will be remembered as having resided In Wash.
ington from 1876 TO 1850.
The Norristown Herald hears rumor to the
effect that the proceedings to the late sessions
OF the Concord school OF philosophy are to be
translated into Philadelphia Nens.
In dispatch from Ashby, MIMI, it is stated
Nhundrpda f,f fhraa ma huns a.
work near here" Now is the time to organize
an artificial limb association In Ashby.
The news comes from Omaha that "woman's
Dress" an Indian chief, is to be arrested. The
noble red man should remember that Mr. Jeffer.
son payis still has rights which Indians are
bound to respect-Chi. tribune.
"How far is it to M.nayunk?" asked wesried
Irishman, who was going there atoot "Seven
miles," was the reply; whom do you wish to
see there%' Faith. it's meself ia loik to see
there" was the retort.-PhR. Quiz.
dispatch from Cory, Pa, says that heavy
white frost fell In that vicinity last Saturday
night. Inasmuch as none Of the Adams family
have visited Pennsylvania recently no explsua.
ton OF the phenomenon is apparent.
William Montgomery, an Ohio veteran, has
asked TO have his name dropped from the pen.
sion list IS he has recovered from his disability.
Coming from an Ohio man this is doubly re.
markabc.
The paragraphers are making fun Of the way
Alyce Carlysle, western wryter of verses, SPELLS
ner name. But tile cyril has right TO spell vt
In that Use " she wants to.-Syraogse Herald.
An Iowa Judge refused a woman q divorce
which she wanted because her husband kissed
~ IL. L.
thankful that her husband had found . way to
keep servant girl.
The endurance Of the deeg ates to an Illinois
Congressional Convention, who held out for on
posing candidates through l.52l ballots, is prais
cd by the Chicago Times In view OF the fact that
Their labors were prosecuted amid the wild,
wierd accompaniment OF the newly organized
brass band Of the town" Z
What is home without an oil can?
What is home without pokers Is
What is home without a woman
And man to hug and choke her.
What Is home without garden.
And faithful wife to make it,
And darling whom the parents II
Both can often take and shake it?
boston Star.
small stream in this county which some
r.
les, has been permitted to dry up Just because
'ur member OF congress refused to ask an ap- b
'ropration OF Sl5O,OO0 to improve it-Norris. b
opn Herald. y
New Haven man has been arrested for break.
ng . silk umbrella over his wife's head and the y
)anbury Ne'cs Indignantly excliim.: 1.-The ex. =
ravagant brute"
He dropped my fare into the box Il
With gentle mien aud wnsome air e
Black were his socks with purple locks, e
noted he was passing fare.
The most astonishing. Rip Van Winkleism that II
patent inside has ever had cause to blush for, n
re the following, found Ia the Dayton, 20 ~ Dem. n
rat, OF Aug. 20, 1882: Gen. Garfield, a CORE.
pondcnt notes, now receives hundreds of news. -
apers with tile articles marked referring to him.
70 Is gaining an experience as al exchange Y
ader, and all kinds OF experience are needed as z,
le head OF great nation 'Gen.
aribaldi's health has been entirely restored by
10 residence on the Genoese coast He frequent "
visits the villages along the shore in canoe al
small boat. His friends believe that he will ~
We ten years longer, at least"
THE SOLEMN POET MAN, III
II was the solemn poet man,
Full haggard and forlorn, w
That came unto the editor lal
One sunny summer morn, In
And placed within his jsweled hand. di,
That erstwhile In u mood IN
VI loving kindness written had IN,
VI foeman something good, ",
Some manuscript and seating then l..
Himself in u cushioned chair, ~:
spoke boldly out first smoothing down
His tangled locks OF hair.
~ know full WE'LL" the poe. said, -,
THAT oftentimcs tits pu
The painful duty Of your craft pii
To run their little sciss. bel
Ors through the thoughts of other men ca,
Which may not be expressed the
Within your columns-as porchance. "
An antiquated Jest rho
Or verses on an oil lamp death tn
All these | know must fall -
Beneath the awful ban that spreads ns
Above them like pail. chi
''But have here little thing, linn