The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-02-23
TIE DETROIT SOLOMON.
SHE WAS A MO THE-1N-LAw.

1eS, I've got MIN, was Jno reply.
sit wasn't three minutes ago that he was
calling for oysters Oh the one-half she'll"
''Eh? Called for oysters, did he ?"
Eyes, marin. Would you like to glare
at him through the bars of his cell door,"
mo; I guess not can wait till he
comes out"
SIN case he is your hayward son, and
you want to fall on his neck and weep, I
think you can manage it,"
81 slIan't do any great amount of weep.
ing over his case," she replied, as her
hands clenched.
"When he was brought in here last
night he called for Hammer" continued
Bijah, as he fourished the duster
around.
''The brute!" she Kissed.
'And he said something about an old
hyena."
She started up with flashing eyes and
appraised arm, but at that moment his
Honor arrived, and the room soon filed
up with spectators.
THE MAN WITH LISP.
The prisoner inquired for was the first
one brought out, and when the court
aeked if his name was Charles Wayland,
he replied:
"Yeth, thir, il ith, and I'm thorry thith
thing happened"
Lets see. You are charged with dis
turbing the peace"
"Your Honor, if you only knew how l
thufered, at home you'd wonder that l
walnut crank"
Then you have suffered?"
81 thould think / had! My wifeth
mother has made my houth perfect
graveyard"
At this point the mother-in.law arose
and put in an appearance. With arms
akimbo, she stood before the pale-faced
prisoner, saying never word, but giving
him such look as hangmen give their
prisoners before swinging them off.
Perhaps you have seen a modest vio-
let shrink to a string before the fierce
heat of conAagration? Well, the man
with lisp wilted and shrunk and dis
appeared under her gaze until he was
barely discernible to the spectators.
Then she turned to the court and said:
"This thing married my darter. de
has used up the three hundred dollars i!
gave her, pawned her iewelry, slapped
her face, called me hyena, and has
even boasted that he would put me out
of the way before snow fell. Last night
/ caught him trying to pick the locks to
my bureau, and pitched him out doors.
If he ever enters my door again I'll crush
him."
"Your Honor, demand the arreth Of
that womsnthv' shouted Charles, as he
suddenly came to life.
''Oh, you wretched, degraded, loafer-
ish little sneakT' she groaned, as she
turned on him.
"Oh, Judge ,thend her upth, thend her
upthw he entreated.
"This is another unfortunate case"
said his Honor, in solemn tones. 1.-The
law cannot take cognizance Of family
troubles, unless the law is invaded. l
know nothing of the pitching out of the
door, but the prisoner was arrested for
what afterward transpired. He stood on
the walk, and shouted and called names,
and drew a crowd"
"Yith, sir; but think how I have been
used"
Cant help that. When mans
mother-in-law throws him out Of doors,
he should go to the law at once for his
remedy"
"Or come to her." quietly added the
woman, as she showed fist almost as
large as head of cabbage.
'sAnd it therefore becomes my duty to
send you up for thirty days."
"Oh, donth! Think Of my outraged
home"
81 guess your outraged home win take
care Of itself. Please fall back"
Take my overcoat, Judge, and let me
1--WE don't deal in secondhand cloth
ing here. Fall back now like a little
man, for I'm very busy this morning"
"I1l fall backth, thir, but the disgrace
will kill mel Lemme get at that old
hyena-lemme pulverize my traduther!'
But Bijah wouldn't let him, and 80 he
was led into the corridor, the mother in
law made bow to the court, and swept
out smile of triumph lighting up her
face until every freckle looked as big "a
Canadian penny.
ONE HOPE LEFT.
"Well?" queried his Honor, - Thos.
Shields stood before him.
Eyes, I'm purity near gone, sighed the
prisoner.
You're ragged and dirty and penniless.
Thomas"
"Wsll, don't deny it; but tell you
Two had the hardest run of luck you
ever heard Of. I've lost three wives in
succession"
''That's tough"
"You bet it Isl And I lost my home
ON = mortgage gave . doctor my gold
vatch to aettie his bill. and in stopping l