The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1882-09-14
TO START A CIRCUS W.T..

TO START A CIRCUS WIZ.
Important if true-A wife.
Sheet understanding.
Pressed for time-Mummies.
A word with business men-Settle.
Only question of timc-asking the
hour.
sDo not talk ice to q butterfly" is Chi
nese saying.
The watermelon is like book. 1t isn't
read until it is opened.
Goes without saying-the man who has
'good.by" for nobody.
Out in Wisconsin people who are too poor
to own horses are content to drive logs.
Rebecca: Yes; you will always find a
funnybone in the humor-wrist.
"Take care" says an exchange. Well,
take it in small doses ifyou must.
Can anything go, and not go anywhere.
Where does light go when it goes out?.
The fashionable young lady with yher
hair in style is the proprietor Of she-bang
Cast.off stovepipe cut up in slices makes
very nice bangles for ladies' wear. 1t just
sooJS EN-
The penalty Of success is to be bored by
the attentions of people who used to snub
"Love," says the Philadelphia Chronicle
'make many good right arm go to
waist"
The old masters abroad must be kept very
busy to supply the shoddy Americans with
paintings.
The Rome Sentinel says that an alligator
laughs when it hears that beauty is only
skin deep.
ASSSlsc-seller announces in his window a
sentimental song, "Thou hast loved and
left me" for three cents.
The rolling stone gathers no moss, but it
gathers the fellow that rides bicycle
every time.
The girl who chalks her cheeks thinks i
is better to mark the miss than miss the
mark.
The man who spends all his money on a
diamond shirt stud carries everything
before him.
Our ancestors. the monkeys, couldn't
have been so ignorant after all. They were
all educated in the higher branches.
ga seaside residence Is the latest phrase
invented to describe twc-roomed hut
within sight of the ocean.
The moon, like some men, is the bright
est when it is full; but like them again, 1t
soon begins to lose its lustre
"Then, 1 suppose, Miss Strongmind you
ana Nr. OpdTrOW are oOeii W NC iiion nh~'
wife ?" "No, sir; woman and husband"
An Illinois woman has named her baby
"Pinafore.' Probably because she never
-. What? Well, comparatively seldom.
The individual who saw a mouse fighting
with q piece of Limburger cheese readily
realized that the battle is not always to the
strong.
1t is claimed by some medical men that
smoking weakens the eye-sight. Maybe it
does, but just see how it strengthens the
breath,
Texas society is agitated over the ques-
ton of whether or not the groom at we'd
ding should wear his revolve belt outside or
inside his dress-coat.
The two urchins who played escaping
from the wreck" by using their mothers
holiday dough-trough for life-boat, were
lashed together.
Stories first heard at a mothers knee are
never wholly forgotten Ruskin.l But
rules of conduct first enforced at the same
place leave far more vivid impression.
ct think its time to be going" said young
Skinner, after boring his betrothed till late
hour one night. YES" said she, "this is
ago-as-you-please match"
Byron once said of lady whose tongue
suggested perpetual motion to every visitor
that she had been dangerously i'll, but was
now dangerously well again.
You may have seen young man on one
side of gate and maiden on the other
side. Why they talk so long is because a
great deal can be said on both sides.
nWhat did the Puritans come to this
country for" asked Massachusetts
tevcher of his class. "To worship in their
own way and make other people do the
same, ;" was the reply.
In old times it was the custom of country
papers to put the word Poetry" over
spring verses sent in fol. publication.-New
Orleans Picayune.l And they used to call
the editor of that paper the Poets Scorner'
-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The last piece Of rustic laziness encoun.
tered by out-oftown correspondents Is that
of the man who, being asked what allied his
eve, answered, "Nothin' l shut it coz
can see we'll enough with one.. Sometimes
i shut one, sometimes tother."
Why is it that whisky straight will make
a man walk crooked ?-TBoston Globe.
Why is it? Why, it is because you dink it.
Did you never think of that You leave
the whisky in the Jug and it will not make
you walk walk crooked.
He talked love to her. and dove TO her.
And tried to squeeze her hand.
While she sat up and 'yesed' and "noed,
Anayawned behind her fam
because she had sat up the night before.
With a fellow she had an awful fondness for
-tsteubenville Herald
Dean Stanley was not equal to his oppor-
tunities when he performed the marriage
ceremony Of Prot. Tyndall. The dean
should have asked the groom: do you
take this anthropoid to be your coordinate,
10 love with your nerve centres, TO cherish
with you whole cellular tissue, until hnal
molecular disturbance shall resolve It's or
ganism into primitive atoms'"
-Youne Fred. a bashful yet persistent swain,
Was very much I'm love with Mary Jane
onenIeht she told him IN her tenderest tone
at not good for man to be alone.
Said Fred, "Jest so, you darling little elf,
I've often thought OF that same thing myself
Than said the lass. while Fred was all agog,
lyon ought 10 buy yourself terrier dog
He took the hint and left