davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
HE USED TO BE A BOY HIMSELF

The other day show came to Little
Rock and was shamefully imposed upon
by Uncle Isom. While standing near
the tent he saw a crowd of low spirited
boys grieving on account of financial de-
preston.
"Does yer youngsters wanter 60 to
der show he asked.
The boys responded in noisy chorus.
"Well, come on den. | ulster to be a
chile myself, an unlike de mos of men,
| hain't forgot it. Count desc boys" he
added, addressing the doorkeeper. The
man began counting, and BY the time
the boys had passed in, Isom was walk
ing around talking TO acquaintance from
the plantations.
Here" said the Snowman, "give me
twenty tickets
What for: Does yer think me lot
terry agent
You passed in twenty boys, and
want the tickets or the money"
Il doan owe yer no tickets, and
doan owe yer no money. | didn't tell
ye, to pass the boys in. said count
EN-. Tse always heard that shOwmen is
good on 'rithmetic, an wanted ter sat-
isfy myself. Yer say dat dar was twen-
ty boys. doan' spute your word, case
| hain't no ma,hertician. Sposen ] take
a lot ob boys ter de cashier on bank an
axes him ter count EN-, does dat signify
dat de cashier is gwine to pass EN- into
de money room: No, sha. Go back to
yer tent sees a crowd goin' in
The Snowman, remembering that he
had left the entrance unguarded, turned,
and Isom walked away.-Liule Rock
Gazette.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
A HOTEL BEAT.

Years ago, when Mr.. Paran Stevens kept
the Continental Hotel in Philadelphia, a
lady with three large trunks arrived there
from New York. She was an attractive,
modest woman. Upon her arrival she in
formed the room clerk that she expected
her husband from the South. A week
passed, and the bill was sent up. No re-
spopse. second week passed, second
bill, and no response. Az the end OF the
third week, As no husband appeared, no
money was paid 10 and no response to po-
lite duns, Mr. Stevens paid personal vls-
1t TO the lady. The conversation was quite
brief, for Mr. S. presumed that he had been
taken in. He resolved TO make the best of
T., and therefore he said
Madam, | understand the situation,
perfectly. Now will tell you what will
do. If you will go TO the Astor House,
and honor them with your patronage, I'll
settle the bill and pay your fare to New
York"
"Wel, bless my soul" exclaimed the
lady, indulging in loud laughter, they
sent me here from the Astor House, be-
cause you were such au amable man.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

He WAS Is LovE.-"Ain't she fine
looking remarked man as lady
passed along the street.
"Yes," replied young fellow 81 re-
gard her as the finest looking woman in
Utica. In fact l am in love with her
Isn't she married LADY,
Eyes, but fell in love with her some
time ago, and | suppose l shall always
love her"
"Did you ever tell her of your love =
"Oh, yes, and know that she loves
me-"
"Does her husband know it,
"Yes, for one day while | was visiting
the lady he entered the room just as |
put my arms around her."
"What did he do:'
"He didn't do anything"
'Curious kind of man."
"No, for did not expect him to do
anything"
Why"
"She's my mother"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

"WuoA, DAH."-Yesterday one of our
colored draymsn had considerable trouble
with his mule. The old man was standing
on the side walk, engaged in q religious
discussion with preacher. The mule
kicked at boy. "Whoa, dab y yelled the
owner, "ain't yer got no mo- sense den to
pick fuss wild chile? Dat mule is aw-
full briggerty of late" Turning and tax
ing up the thread Of his discourse, he was
again disturbed by the animal. keep
on" he yelled, "time add off two years
oh corn from yer feed yer won't be so sky,
larkish. "
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
AN INVESTMENT.

Now. We are not only out Of debt, but
We have got one thousand dollars ah cad,
aud the question Is, how are We goin : to
invest it:'
Hiram Graham, sitting just outside Of
the open door TO enjoy the grateful cool
ness OF the summer evening, threw aside
his paper as he spoke, and awaited his
wifv's reply. His wife, busy over her ew-
iug, did DO, reply immediately.
Come" he said, let me have your
opinion. III bet you've made your min d
what 10 10 with it long ago, You know
the saying. \ man TO save money and n
woman to spend III" anc he laughed go cd
na;uredly.
Yes, Mrs. Graham had made up her mil I'd
long ago. The thought of time VIII,
they should DC clear of debt, and some O.
their surplus earnings could be expended
for home comforts, had helped her TO make
over aud .epair an old garment that she
was about 10 throw away in despair; it
had er coursged her 10 contend with num-
berlsss incoavenienceS. But now the time
had really come she felt rather strange
reluctance about revealing her thoughts.
She was oppressed with fear that her long
cherished plans might be dashed TO the
earth. However, she commenced bravery
enough;
IL have thought we might paint the
house some pretty color, such as silver
gray, and have shutters put up at the win
dows the right shade of green to HARMON
ize with the color OF the house, the same
as the green leaves of the poplar harmon
ize wit.l the SO gray of its trunk, and
why, Jennie" exclaimed Mr. Graham
there's a goo coat OF paint on the house
now; and there is no color so durable as
lead in my esti nation.
"And." continued his wife, - wouid
have the yard closed in with neat pic.1et
fence"
"I don't Sc. any use in tearing down
that fence. The rails are as good ana
sound as they we're twenty years ago.
Please don't interrupt me, Hiram
would re-pape the rooms, buy new In
grain carpet for the parlor, and mpsiin
curtains for the windows"
"what is the sense of having Gu rtains
II vou have shutters? Besides, those pa
nsr curtains answer every purpose. as faI
asJcan see. The paper on the walls Is
perfectly whole. 1t is true that You have
patched il considerably, but tnat dom
show much. And as for the ca''pet-why
haven't you got new rag carpet on th'
room now:"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Extract from a letter from Waymant,
Wayne county, Penn. 1.-The wonderful ef-
flcacy of your great remedy Ponds Ex-
tract for the alienation of pain and for
healing diseased tissues, was signally
shown in the case OF my wife while suffer
ing from carbuncle OF the most malignant
type For four weeks she was dangerous
ly low. PoND's EXTRACT was prescribed
BY o1e of the best physicians In Pennsyl-
MIA. 1t was used lavishly and constantly
for bathing, and used internally, and it
was certainly the principal remedial agent
in enecting her recovery.
:" III. ToRREY.'
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

MAY: This is the month in which the
trailing arbutus Is sought. Also, in this
month, the front gate begins 10 exhibit
signs of wear. Tie weather prophets
guess at "balmy atmosphere" for May,
and the poet writes his usual " Lovely
May" verses for the village paper This
is all right but if you are wise you will
get bottle of DR.. Baxter's Mandrake Bit
tiers and use them as directed, to ward of
iaundice, liver complaint and biliousness,
consequent upon the warm temperature
of this month. Only % cents per bottle.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

RErRAcrIoS-"D Do you mean to call me
a liar:" asked one railroad man of another
railroad man during a dispute on some
business they had on Austin Avenue, yes
terday.
mo, Colonel, don't mean 10 call YOU
a liar. On the contrary, say you are the
only man in town who tells the truth all
the time, but I'm Offering reward Of s2j
and a chrome to any man who will say he
believes me when say you never lie" was
the response.
well, am glad you took it back re-
piled the other party, as they shook
T,rds Sidings.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

-"I merely throw out the idea," a
youthful clergyman remarked, with some
degree OF embarrassment, after making q
suggestion in presbytery. "Well," white
haired old dominic said, "that is the very
best thing you can do with it," There was
a silent assent on the part Of majority Of
the brethren.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

1t was in a day-school, and they
were recitlng the commandments. They
had reached the flfth-'' Honor thy father
and thy mother, that thy days may be long
upon the land that the Lord thy God Civ
eth thee ee"-when a little chap said he
guessed his dad honored his father and
mother. ~ hope so. "Oh, know he
did," responded the boy, "for he works in
the mill, and he's always telling how long
his days are"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
Harper's Magazine for April.
GREENWOOD GREETINGS.
BY FRANCIS L. MACE.

The morning of the year
Pushes again these Northern glades. Awake
% slumbering branches. The remembered
cheer
And comrsdeship OF other Summers take
On your mute faces. Answer me again,
And tell your Winters dream OF ecstasy oi
pain.
Then first the Naples irrej,
Their pendent blossoms trembling with dc
light,
And said: " The night il over We have heard
The brook rejoicing in the breaking light.
The rapture OF the rain
over the lost arbutus found again,
The sod grows velvet green beneath our feet
Homewari the robins fiy. and life is warm and
sweet"
The Pine.tree fiung
Its tassels 10 the wind, and proudly sung
IL dreamed Of lands where over leagues OF
ice
The skaters Joyous few; ofspectral lights
Flaming along the skies In strange device;
ofreindecr speeding through the glimmering
nights
The forest trembled with old odin's signs
or stormy pain. but all undaun,ed sung the
Pines"
The Elm returned:
"Of simmer was my dream the long night
through:
ar sunset fires where myriad roses burned.
To give their beauty back In morning dew;
OF inieriaei : boughs
fesiooned in arches meet FOR lovers VOWS;
And OF the golden robins nest that clung
Close 20 my heart. which throbbcd whene'er
the bsrdlinss sung"
Rough-hoodeI Fir.
Why dost thou beckon to the Juniper
With signs OF JOY? Slow waved her rustling
ian
A. she replied: "I heard in my long dream
The mellow pipe. far blown, OF jocunl Fan.
Invisible 10y wool and valley stream.
lie j. not dead, tac god or dell and grove,
And with him. ever glad. the Nymphs and sat
yrs rove
The Poplar-irees
With odorous buds all quivering in the breeze,
sighed Heavy was our sleep. and dark with
gloom
The dreaded vision OF the night, ofyore
The fatcd Poplar grew unto It's doom.
And stricken, (cll. shaped from its shudder.
ing wood
The Cross was fashioned. Now and evermore
That woe returns. The stain OF holy blood
our slumber hanats aIway.
And every waking leaf al trembles with dis
may"
The willows plume
swept the warm sod with downy tufts OF
bloom.
o willow, thou dost ever carthward gaze,
And sighs are all thy language. And the tree
Whispered: " l feel again The fowery days
of new year; bu, spring. the fair and free,
Can not bring back the beautiful TO me.
There Is a sound OF tear.d drops in the rain.
Of mourning in the air. The lost come not
again"
All then the Ccdars bent
Their glossy crowns, and spake with deep
content:
ave have not slept nor dreamed the Ii vclong
night,
In our dark mauues wrapped. we watched
for ligh,
We arc the faithful. In our spicy DO ughs
The breath OF Lebanon forever flows
summer OF Winter. life or Death. may be.
Hope gathers garlands green from of the Ce-
dar-tree"
kindred OF the wood.
liz up your heads. FOR now the sunrise he ans
scatter the mist of darkness and of dream
The world is made anew. and II Is good
A thousand voices herald Summers day.
Let u dr nk deep from LIES fresh fountains
while we may
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
PROBABLY NEVER

~ hc history OF proprietary medicines has
..yai;.clc mCt sucrcs' AZ bone equal TO mat
w..cl las lccn ror.cd Cpon HOOPS SAHsA-
:..atitA WY, sacL has hcca tie success
,fta.s article. that nearly every family In
Whole uciglibcIhOcds Lave lccn taking II ~
i.c same time. Every week brings new evil
de- Il The wonderful curative properties Of
lis r.cd.c.Ee.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
CONSUMPTION.

To prevent Night Sweats, to case
the cough and arrest the emaciation and
decline, no other form OF malt or medicine
can possibly equal MALT BITTERS. This
original Nutrient and Tonic is rich in
nourishment and strength. 1t tides the
patient over the most critical stages OF the
disease, digests and assimilates food, en-
riches and purities the blood. 1t builds up
the system by stimulating into new life the
entire process Of digestion.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
The New York Ledger SAYS {:

"We feel grateful to the ladies for the
pains they have taken lately to array them
selves in the fresh and beautiful garments
of spring"
1t is safe to wager that the author of the
foregoing paragraph has not been compel
led to pay for any of the "fresh and beau
tiful garments" aforesaid. All his daugh-
tiers are boys.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Ask your physician and he will tell you
that for all those tonic properties which
strengthen and invigorate, there is nothing
known in the vegetable kingdom equal TO
hops. They are prominent ingredient in
Hops and Malt Bittcrs. i.ll-4+.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
TIE DANGERs OF TIE SrocK MARKEr.- :

THE DANGERS OF THE Stock Market
man may be incredulous enough to risk
his money in the Gckle mysteries of a mer-
curial stock market but when he gets the
Itching Piles, he goes straight for DR..
Swayue's Ointment. Unlike the bulls and
bears of the Stock Exchange, who clean
you ont Of hard earned cash, it returns
your money with interest, in the way of
allayng the intense itching and insuring
sweet reDOse.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

In the cure ofsevere coughs, weak lungs,
splitting of blood and the early stages Of
Consumption, DR.. Pierce's Golden Medi-
cal Discovery" has astonished the medical
faculty. While it cures the severest
coughs, it strengthens the system and pu-
rites me blood. BY Druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
WHAT EyERYBoDY WANTS.

Is a reliable medicine that never does
anybody any harm and that prevents and
cures disease by keeping the stomach in
order the bowels regular, and the kidneys
and liver active. Such medicine is Par
kers Ginger Tonic. IL relieves every case,
and has cured thousands. See other col
umn-T Tribune
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

see covered drain that carries away all
thing with these things" he said, after
they had entered the sittlngroom, glanc-
ing deprecatingly at the dingy-colored pi-
per, the dilapidated furniture and thread
bare carpet. / would rather trust that to
You. And, b:sde, found there was so
much real enjoyment ln 1t that thought |
would be generous and leave some Of the
pleasure for you. Here is the money that
Is left," he added, presenting her with a
goodly roll of bills.
One pleasant day in autumn all was COM
plete, and indeed, as Mrs. Graham said, 1t
did look like ga bit of Eden
81 do believe" Jennie said, turning to-
ward her husband. with bright glad look
on her face, - do believe am just the
happiest woman in the world"
He drew her gently TO him.
"Jennie," he said, what were you think
ing of that morning found you churning
under the locust tree, aud looking so in
tently at that old stone building upon the
hll?"
Her only answer was merry laugh.
"Did you ever think so before?'
Although he asked the question hesitat-
ingly, he looked wistfuly into her face for
al answer.
"No, you dear, simple darling, and am
sure never shall again; and, looking up
archly, 81 didn't then"
Six years pissed away, aud one bright
morning in spring Mr.. Graham entered
the house. He had changed in these year 5
the slight roughness which had charac-
terized him previously had worn away /;
there was increased dignity aud manliness
in his bearing. His children had along
grown to be a constant source of paternal
pride and delight. SO surely do our inner
natures conform TO the plan of our outward
surroundings. He held up the paper he had
in his hand.
There" said he, addressing his wife,
"is the deed of the Southwell forty. clear
from lncumbrance. :" | should have owned
it long ago, and the whole Southwell farm,
too, perhaps. But thank God that did
not" he added. earnestly. If | had |
would have been so close over the work
rack by this time that | never would be
able 70 look up.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

The king having dismissed his page
was asked why he did SO, and replied !:
"No man can turn over new leaf with
out trying new page.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
We don't need the North Pole, anyway

A VALUABLE ADDITIoN.-Because 1t Is
beneficial to the scalp and adds to person
al beauty by restoring color and lustre TO
gray or faded hair, is why Parker's Hair
Balsam Is such popular dressing.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

After suffering several years with the Leu.
corrhGl, and no doubt would have been
only lady induced me to try Sulphur
Btters. Now / am we'll Three bottles
cured me.-Nrs. c., NecpOrt, u. l.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Professor in hydrostatics eff you
had purchased a crown of gold and
thought part of it was silver, what would
YOU do. Junior: "Take it back"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
Lots OF Congressman at large next year.

PERUVIAN SYRUP cures Dyspepsia, Gen.
eral Debility, Liver Complaint, Humors,
Boils. Chronic DiarrhGa, Nervous Affec-
tions, Female Complaints, and all diseases
originating in bad state Of the blood.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
Hoods
SorsapanMa

rs to derive their 2; latest medicinal Effects
with the least disturbance 10 the whole sys-
TEN. In fact this preparation is so well bal
anced in its action upon the alimentary
canal. the liver, the Kidneys, the stomach,
tie bowels and the circulation Of the blood.
flat IL brings about healthy acton OF the
cntlrc human organism, THAT can hardly be
credited by those who have not seen the re-
riarkablc results that have followed its use.
!lihc SarSaparilla does not prove sufficient
T. laxative. take few dcses of IInop's VEG
IrAnLE FILLS. II is well in all cases OF
l!iiluSness TO take these pills In connection
with the Sarsaparila Tor the first ten days.
That dull, sleepy. sick feeling can be wholly
overcome by the use Of these remedies. VIII
you give them tiial and be yourself again?
An ex,aldcrman OF this city says OF Hoods
Sarsaparila. II is the strongest Sarsapa-
rllla ever saw
Zach dollar bottle contains one hundred
(ayogages) doses. Sold by all druggists.
Price one dollar. or six for five dollars.
Hoods sarSaparllla, prepared only bye.
/. HOOD s CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.
sg- Use HOOPS TooTH-P0wDER.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Let her 60, Scoville Don't you
know when you're in luck
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Mamma, do you know what the largest
species OF ants are? You shake your head.
Well, I'll tell you. They are elephants"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Congress can pass bad bills with impun-
ity. Let poor counterfeiter do it, and he
is iugged for II.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Guiteau's inspiration doesn't trouble him
half so much as his respiration will next
June.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Johnny was hit by ball the other day.
The bawl Immediately came out Of his
mouth.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

At the Hub-"I am tired" sighed the
wheel. Poor felloe," spoke the axle,
wagon his tongue.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
Lucca Is being doomed now.

DoS'r DIE IN THE HoUsE.-Ask drug
gists for Rough on Rats" 1t clears out
rats, mice, reaches, flies, bed-bugs, lJc.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Tommy asked his mother If the school
teachers ferule was piece Of the board OF
education.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

There isn't a COW on Pitcairns Island.
What Paradise for milkmen. Their busi-
ness Is all profit.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23
| WISHED | WAS DEAD.

Bricks are the best things to throw at
hens
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Many OF the Bitters advertised as tonlcs
are simply cathartics. Wheat Bitters Is
not a cathartic,-E. L. RUSSELL. NJ. ID.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Combines tie
nEsr Remedies
Of the vegetable
Kingdom, and In
s,,ci, rrnuarfi.n
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-05-23

Okindred OF the wood.
Lii Up your heads. FOR now The sunrise he ams
scatter the mist of darkness and of dream :.
The world j. made anew. and II j. good
A thousand voices herald summers day.
Let u dr nk deep from Life's fresh fountains
while we may
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-11-07
JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE.
Efforts by the Independent and the Dem
Ocratic Forces Last Night.

Parades we're made by democrats and in
dependents last night, and independent ora
tors delivered addresses on Alamo plaza,
while democratic orators spoke on Main
plaza. The former were Judge A. Siemerng,
l.. c. Grothous, Judge A. ]. Evans and Jas:
P. Newcomb; the latter, Attorney General
McLeay, Major I. T. Teel, L. ID. Dibble.
Senator A. w. Houston, L. F. Lefrenz and
Mr.. Mondragon.
Pyrotechncs were displayed on both plazas,
and some pretty fire works were shown by
Fire chief Duerler as the independent process
sion passed his store. A part of its route lay
on Main plaza, straight through the democrat
ic ranks As it was passing an excited demo-
cratic orator yelled 10 his colleagues: my
God They're bigger than we are. Get up
here and yell, and they'll think we're
stronger IL
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-11-07
A MAMMOTH STOCK.
The Finest Goods and Lowest Prices.

L. WolfsOn has the largest and most elegant
display of dress goods ever seen III TINS city, 10
which he especially calls the attention OF the
ladies. His stock comprises oil grades or dress
goods, from common print to the flnest piece
of goods turned out, either in America or
Europe.
He also keeps full stock of all kinds of dry
goods, embracing everything in the line, when
is most complete and large. To those wanting
anything in the dry goods line, Mr.. Wolfson Of
ters unparalleled attractions and Inducements;
In ladies wear and underwear, and i'll fact all
kinds of ladies furnishings from hose to nat
or bonnet, is kept in full stock, and the selec-
tions in this line are most beautiful and excel
lent. Also full and complete stock OF ladles
and children's shoes and slippers. These goods
are the best and most fashionable made.
In clothing and gents furnishing goods Mr..
WOlfsOn also offers great attractions ana IN
ducemcnts. In fact the stock OF clothing Is one
of the largest and best selected ever brought TO
the city, consisting of mems, boys anu youths
clothing, of all grades, from the finest to the
comnlOnest. Also fine lot of overcOats and
ulsters In gents furnishing goods the stock
embraces everything in that line 49,
In furniture, carpets, mating and house fur
nishing goods, there are three houses FULL ana
you can get anything you want, i'll any qnallty
or style, and at the lowest prices prevailing.