The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1882-01-21
FRONTIER ANECDOTES,

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One of the dryest jokers of the day is Judge
Allen A. Bradford, of the Pueblo bar. He is a
little eccentric, but withal, one of the best law
yers in the far West He was trying case few
years since before judge to whom he took
dislike. The Judge was undecided in his rulings
would change his conclusions every time the OPP
poste lawyer would argue point. When Brad
ford came to talk to the jury he took occasion to
express his contempt. Said he: Gentlemen Of
the jury, the indecison of this court reminds me
of the tabled ass that died between two bundles
of straw for want of decision" The court could
stand this no longer. Calling the attorney to
order, he fined him SIS for contempt. With the
GOODNESS he is capable of, Bradford felt in his
pocket for moment, then producing $3.50, said
in his peculiar intonatons of voice: "Your honor,
[ have but half the amount I will pay for the
straw, but let the ass stand"
One day notorious horse thief had been cap
tured and brought into court to be committed.
While the examination was progressing the pros
ecutiug attorney and the sheriff stepped to the
door to counsel. The thief seized the opportu-
nifty, and clasped in the squires hand a twenty
dollar gold piece with the remark: Hold the
case until dark; then dismiss for error in the
complaint 1t sets forth that a horse has been
stolen while the evidence shows it was mare"
The case went tripping along until the sun had
dropped behind the hills and darkness Swallowed
the land. Then the court raised the horse and
equestion, and dismissed the prisoner. Before
a new complaint could be made he was far away
under the cover of darkness. The squire then adj
.journed the court and went straight home in
high glee. Arriving there he clapped the double
sawbuck over his eye and went caporing around
the floor like a young colt His good wife, MOTTO
ing the wealth, made some remark about apparel.
Nothing to wear, eh ?" said the squire. "a cal
leo dress goes" Supper being over, he repaired
to the barn to feed his beast. But, TO- she was
gone. He had bogus coin in his pocket, while
the thief was bestrde his beautiful mare over the
hills and far away
A very good story is told of one Squire Dyer,
who was justice of the peace at Canon City in
an early day He prided himself On having the
finest saddle mare in all Colorado She was as
slick as mouse and as feet as a hound. Not a
horse in Fremont county could overtake her in
hundred-mile run, and the squire was ready to
stake his money on that proposition Said he in
the bar-room one day, addressing some seedy
bummers: "Gentlemen, II you want to give my
mare ten minutes start, will bet $1,000 that all
the horses in Colorado can't catch her before she
lands in the Pacific Ocean," The barkeeper, hay
ing an eye to business, chimed in, eyes, gentle
men, I believe the squire's mar is a better boss
than the winner of the Darby to-day. She is
daisy, and don't you forget it." These remarks
so pleased the squire he called all hands, and ten
red noses with blue trimmings stood in row at
the bar without further notice. "Now," said the
barkeeper, as he raised his tumbler to his chin,
cheers to the squar and his wonderful mar"
And they all guggled at the same time. As the
money was paid for the "scoots" and the squire
retired, the barkeeper remarked to the bummers
who had taken their seats at the stove "Maybee
| I'm sucker This would have been a dull day
if hadn't rung in that ar remark about the
Darby boss. The squire has got weak spot,
and it's hoss.-Denuer (Col.) Inter Ocean,