The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1882-05-25
Wants to Be a Bird.
An Iowa girl poet sends us a poem,
the first line of which is as follows

An Iowa girl poet sends us a poem,
the first line of which is as follows
"I would 1 were a bird"
That settled her hash. No birds need
apply. What in the wide world a decent
looking, healthy girl wants to be a bird
for, is more than we can imagine. Grant
ing that an Iowa girl poet is as hand
some as q statue, how like thunder she
would look as a bird, sitting on a rail
fence on one leg, scratching her feathers
with one claw, or hopping down under
a g~ooseberry bush scratching for angle
worms with her bare toe nails. If the
girl poet bird should find an angleworm
she would run away and scream. But
maybe it is not that kind of a bird she
wants to be. There is no kind of q bird
that can have SO much fun as q girl.
As a girl she a go to all the places OF
amusement, dane and firt and get
mashed, but as bird, withholding on but
feathers, she would catch cold. Imagine
a girl poet flying around in the trees,
hopping from limb to limb. She would
have the whole town watching her, and
making remarks. Think how a girl
poet would feel if she was a bird, and
| should be moulting. She would watch
every feather that dropped off, and won
der how long the feathers were going
to hold out. And then if the girl poet
was a bird she would have to set, II b
was that kind of o poet, or a bird, and
the setting would commence Just when
there was the most going on in society,
and she would have to stay right by re-
CARELESS. and after the poet bird got off
the nest she would look sick and 1t
-1xJI 4.Lo Lor z.- uyaoEo fn racrT1It mn
so as to make a decent appearance In
bird Society. If a girl poet desires to be
a bird in order to get out Of any OF the
duties of life, SO as to have a high old
time chirruping around stealing cherries,
and singing the livelong day, she makes
a mistake. Birds may seem to be free
from care, and to have a soft thing, but
they have a heap of trouble. There Is
the same jealousy and back-biting
among birds that there is among human
beings, and q good-looking, well-dressed
bird, who has any style about her, and
is a trife independent and jolly, will find
that she will get her feathers rumpled,
! and be called names, and she will wish
some boy with a bean-snapper would
fire a load of beans right through her.
Our Iowa poet does not say whatk III OF
a bird she would like to be, but we cant
think of any kind OF bird that would be
as good as a girl. OF course she wouldn't
want to be a canary bird, or a mockine
bird, in a cage and have to sing fol
hemp seed and mocking-bird food, and
look out for cats. She would probably
want to be a wild, out door, go-as-you.
please sort of bird. Well, there is none
of that kind that are perfectly safe, an6
who always have a good time. II oul
girl poet bird was a duck OF q wild
goose, she would be flying along somt
day when there would be a puff O
!. smoke under her, and she would feel as
though she had a hot box, and would g
i off and sit on a muskrat house all nigh
, picking No. 6 shoto out of her dark meat
, or the second joint, or elsewhere, as tn
case might be. There wouldn't be mucl
fun in that. Ii she was q pigeon sh
8 would be caught in a trap and have he
neck wrung. And whatever kind OF
!. bird our poet might be, she would hav
to scratch gravel for a living, and ca
worms. The outlook would not be first
, class. The only bird she could be, an
: be a success, would be a hen, and hav
: a rooster scratch for her, and then ther
!. would be the drawback of having t
l share the worms her own darling rooste
might find with a whole flock of hem
If our Iowa girl poet has got a fair 10
in her business, and can have an ext
: dress to wear to parties, and can cate
!. on to q fellow once in q while, and dot
: not want the earth, she should ceas
repining, let this bird scheme go, and
contented as a girl. A girl can .discouI
, all the birds in the woods, and be N I
. danger of being shot by boys wit
slings.-PecE's Sun.