Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-12-02
Our
he receipts of the following persons will be
PLAYING COMET.
From the Milwaukee SUM-

.sBut, look a.here," says the greedy
man, as he gave the boy q little dried
up lemon, about az big 40 q prune,
aud told him be was . terror, what
is the matter with your eye wtnkers
aud your hair !? They seem to be
burned off, a.ystEyn EVE. ~
go, thunder,didnt pa tell you about
the comet exploding and burning Us
all? That was the worst thing since
the flood, when Noar run the sxcnr-
sion boat from Kalamazoo to Mount
Ararat. You see we had been read
ing about ths comet, which is visible
at four o'clock III the morning, aud l
heard pa tell tho hired girl 70 wake.
him aud M up whenfshe got Up to.
set the ahcSkes amdgoto early mass,
SO they could zee the c~rittsr. The
hired girl is Cathiick, and she don't
make no fuss about it, but she has got
more good. square relidging than .
dozen likeEpa. 1t makesa good deal
of djffsrence-how reIidgin affects diff
ferent peopie don't il. Now pas re-
lidgin makes him wild. and he wants
to kick my pants, and pull my hair,
but the hired girls s~relidgin makes
her want to hug me,ifl amyabused.
aud she puts ansrchy on my bruises
and gives me pie. Pa would'I1e t up
1t four O'Clock ID. the morning ITO go
to early mass, unless he could take =
fish pole along and some angle worms.
The hired girl prayS when no one
sees her but God, but paNants 10 got
a church full of %sistern'. and pray
loud, as though he was an auctioneer
sellin' tin raZors.A
"Well when l heard pa tell the hired
girl to wake him and ma up,sI told
her to wake me up shout half an hour
before she walked paSnp, and then l
got my chum to stay With me.and we
made a comet to play on pa. You see
my room is right over pas room and
l got two lengths of st0ve-pipe and
covered them all over with phOs-
phorus 80 they looked just az bright
as q comet. Then we got two Roman
candles aud a big sky rocket, aud we
were going to touch off the Roman
candles aud sky rocket just as pa aud
ma got up to looking al the comet. l
didn't know that a sky rocket would
kick back, did your We tied a piece
of white rubber: garden hose to the
s%tovs-pipe for q tallsand went to bed,
and wnen the girIWoke US up we lsid
for pa and ms.
"Pretty soon we heard pas win
dow open and looked out, aud pa
and ma hadstheir heads and half their
bodies out OF the window. They had
their night sairts Oh and looked just
like Tho picture of Miileri,es waiting
for the world TO come to an end. Pa
looked up aud seed the siove-pipe,
aud said: Hammer, for Gods sake,
look up there. That is the damn'dest
comet l ever see. 1t is as bright as
day. See the tail OF it. Now that is
worth getting up to see.'
s'Just then my chum lit the two
Roman candles and l touched off the
rocket. and that's where my ey
winkers went. The rocket busted th
joints of the .tove-pipe. and :hey fell
down on pa, but ma got her head in
side before the comet struck, and
wasn't hurt, but one length of stove.
pipe struck pa endways on the neck
aud almost cut . biscuit out Of him
and the fire and sparks just poured In
his hair, aud burnt his night shirt.
Pa was scarf. He thought the. world
was coming to an end, and the win.
dow came down OF his back. and he
begin to sing: tEarth's but a desert
drear, Heaven is my home.'
81 see he was caught, in the win
dow, and l went down stairs to put
out the fire on his night shirt, aud put
up the window to let him in, and hs
said: MY boy, your MI and l are
going to heaven, but 1 fear you will
go to the bad place. and l told him
would take my chances, aud he bet
ter put on bis. pants if he wa going
any where, that there would be liable
to be ladies present, and when he got
his head in ma told him the world Wai
moi coming to an end, but somebody
had been setting off fireworks, aud
she ssidsh guessed it was their dear
little boy, aud when l saw pa feeling
under the bed for Q bedslst l got up
stairs pretty previous, now, and DOM
you forget it.. and ma put cold cream
on where the sparks burnt pas shirt
and pa said another day wouldn't pas
over his head before he had me III ths
reform school.
"Well, if Ego to tho reform schoe
somebody's got to pay attention, yol
can betsyour liver. A boy can't hay,
any Inn these days without every
body thinks he 10 q heather. What
hurt did It do to play cometI It's
mean father that won't stand a littl
scorchin' in. the interest OF science
The boy vent out scratching tn,
place where the eye.winkers were
and then the grocerymsn knew wha
1t was that caused the fire engines L
be out and around at 4 o'clock in til
morning looking for . fire.