The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-04-08

M Defends Innocent Lying Before
the Z. n. q. 4.
Fit Perkins departed from his set lee
ture last night, delivered hef0re the
Y. NJ. C.. A., and \ crowded house. and
made some wise remarks about lying:
Now, my friends, there has been u
COOL deal said about lying in this cs',,n-
try lately. confess that l have been
called u great liar myself. In fact the
Tyre has been struck u great many times
(Laughter,. You remember that Henry
JOu,'nu,, said publicly on the steps Of
the hotel at saratoga. last summer, that
he was personally acquainted will, three
vi the biggest !iars-the biggest living
liars in the wOrld-and when they asked
him who they Were lie said: ''t;tUrge
Alfred Townsend ia oneand Eli Perkins
is the other twO!' Great laughter>.
Now. my friends. speaking of lying. !
maintain that ali great hln,"ris!s are
great liars, and that til" funniest men
have always l.ccn the biggest liars. l tlo
not say re, rrymt that all great liars are
great iiun,orists. lfthis were I lie case thew
the lawyers would l,c the funniest men
in the world. I.au-lItcr,, The lie tO
hc funny must I,r purely inn"cent-it
must l,e told to make our fellow men
happy and to harm no man, or it must liz
told to make wrong ri.l: "ul",.- is did the
satirps Of - hon (\uiXOte." "(;inN's
Baby" Juvcnal and dean swift. In fact,
the lie must he an innocent Baron Mum
cl,au>cn lie 1.-THE old hlll,Iorists were
not great liars, then Dean Swift's Tale
ola Tab was \ true story. Gu l'iver's
l1~.>.,
mons. Tha"keray's yellow Plush i'a-
pcrs" wcr. sunday school tracts. ami
Baron Nuncl,uuscn' gigantic lies were
~ true Us Maca,!l..y's History Of Eng
land" Almost all fun is .xaggcration,
and all CxaygcratiOn is lying. Mark
Twain Is Il fearful liar. Show ne II siu-
gle truth in Max Atlclrr's "Ellnw
R:mn,." Artcnlus Wards wOrN~ are
all pure fictiOn~. pure lies, with n" s;'-
tire, hut told simply I" produce innocent
laughter. Laughter canu", bc produced
without acting, painting, or writing an
cxag:.rs:,liOM rl"in English, with
out acting, Painting, or writing an in
nne.ut lie. The humorous artist, the
c:,rir:,t,lrist like John l.eerk and Cruik.
shank. had l,o other elements hut to- lie
to draw upon t"pr,nl,lce laughter. They
had to make Il long M,ts". Il hiy car, u
crOkcl le:.. or Geek eye. No one ever
laughed ut Il true picture. liza man real
" iM,kesl az ('r,,ik~l,ank "r Ichn I.cerk
tainted him. We would shed tears at his
inO,,rnfill condition. liza real man acted
like Don t}uix0tc. VIZ would weep ut his
nlisiOrtlIIll:,. sometimes people laugh
ut II great truth. for truth i often
stranger sounds like u big iic) than tie
ton. This has always lWcn my great
.,....l,s,r 4 I l,u>.., III,
told such great truths. that the people
would lauyl, because they thought they
were lies. SO have got the reputation
Of leimg Il wOr,lly-nIill.ltrl hlln,Or'st.
when, in fact. lam Il great truth teller.
One night was telling about the III.
trees in California. ! sail | rode int"
tree, Il big hollow tree. on horseback,
ami then walked out ut the knot holes.
Laughter The people laughed TO-
! cause they thought it was II lie, when, in
fact, it was the truth. The trees are
thirty-fivc feet in diameter, and the hole
| through them is twelve feet in diameter
IT'S wide thr.r,yh :,S Il barn door. To
| illustrate what I mean 10y an innocent
Baron Alumrl'au>cn story: ! han ~" I'M
! Gle William once, who got caught IN i
| fen rful r:.i,l>tOrim one night. when he
! was ~, the way to attend Il prayer meet
| ing ut New london. Connecticut. lie
started tor New London on horseback,
hut wi,O. he got about half way there,
there arose II dreadful storm. The wind
| blew Il hurricane. the rain descended in
torrents, the lightning CLEANED through
the sky, and my uncle got in lrhim! -
large ln,rn. But in Il moment til" light
ming struck that harm and knocked it
| int" II Thousand SrIi..t r.. and sent his
horse wl,ir;inw over int" u Mri:.l'I"'ring
c,rmtirld. 'Nl,at did you Il" then, Tn.
Gle William: ," ! asked. "Well,' said
he. ~ didn't hardly know what to to:
] wa. very much discouraged, hut t"tcil
the honest truth-thc honest C"nns:ti-
cut truth, Eli, l went right "u' into the
corniield, took OIL my c'nt. bumped up
on my hare lack, AMI took eleven strokes
Of lightning right on my Ir.rv backbone
drew The liyl,,min" all out OF the sky
and then got on NY horse AMI rode int"
New London on time tn lead ut the
evening prayer nlcsIing.' Upr'ri"''~
laughter. l--IMtlin""y,'iix ./""r"H.