The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1882-01-19
ERke Flexible E1enzE.

urging her to meet her in that city on a
: important family matter. Let no one su
. pect me Of intinating that MY rcspecte
mother-in-laW Is the ssF'lexiblo Tiend,
rom my introducing her SO soon after II,
: title Of my story; but had it not been Il
that telegram my experience with sill;
tiend would have been nil.
Arabeila was to start early III tiie morn
ing, and gave me my orders: ssBe sur
and lock all the doors every night, The
ophiEus, and whatever you DO, Clon't agi
tate Bridget, for what helpless predica
ment you would be in If she should tax
it into her head to sleave.'7'
gave the required promises, and mex
day saw Arabella safely on her way. Fo
a few days all went smoothly. Bridge
was, to use her own description. in thu
most "illigantist" Of humors and enjoy
ed unwonted tranquility. Then came ttt
beginning of the end Of course, Arabel
la and l exchanged letters daily. CyVe hac
only been married year and 8 half. Oh
the afternoon of the fourth day her letter
contained the following thunderbolt-in q
postscript:
Il forgot to tell you that found aunt
! CarraWay here on a visit from the West.
| She will come home with me for short
stay, SO be sure and have Biddy clean the
house from roof to cellar, as aunt CarrawaY
has an eye like. Il lynx-but then you
know, Philiy, dear, she has a great deal of
money"
Understood that "Plailly DEAR a1 once.
On ordinary occasions Arabella calls me
''rheophilis. She knew that [ would
rather face howitzer than convey he1,
commands to Bridget, butss the thing had
to be done, her mode Of address was an af-
fectionate hint to approach the dreaded
damsel with the utmost circumspection.
began at once. | went to the kitchen
where Biddy was securing pans.
''Well, Bridget, is there anything you
need from the store? [ may run down
there Tonight, and can bring anything you
WHnt--.ust as we'll as not, you know"
Sugars out" said the maiden laeonic-
ally.
"AnythiDg else, Biddy?" with Pick
wickian smile and Chadband injection.
Sure, ye might he after fetchin' Il sup
O tay, too.''
II will, Biddy, with great pleasure. By
the way, that's q fine fellow shat comes to
see you sometimes. Mccarthy is his
name.''
s'Itfs my eulzzint, silure,'' said the basIt-
FIJI Bid6y, rubbing away very hard 1t. the
bottom Of pan.
"A very nice cousin, indeed, andsI hope
you will treat him well, Biddy, every time
he comes. BY the way, have just had
another letter from Mrs. Blodgett. She
will be home on Thursday, and wished
me to mention to you that YOU might do
little house-cleaning, as she expects to
bring a friend with her. I'll help you, |
Biddy, 'pOn my word will, - continued,
hastily, seeing signs of gathering wrath on
Erin's brow.
Next day we began operations. While
Bridget scrubbed and secured and grum-
bled and growled devoted my energies to
clearing out the rubbish in oNr bedroom
closet, and progressed sWimmingly until
| came to an old hoop-skirt of Arabella's. |
had heard q friend say that stove-clink-
ers and old hoop-skirts were the hardest
things to get rid Of on the face of the
earth. Burn it [ could not. Break it
could not. could not hide it In the attic,
for aunt CarraWay would be sure to make
In expedition thitter within tWenty-four
hours after her arrival. i'll should throw
i behind the woodshed, Biddy would trip
over it aud fracture her classic nose. A
brilliant idea presented itself! / would
oury it-ln the vegetable garden near the
potato patch. /
'"The turf shall be its winding Sheet"
'ang I, triumphantly, and bore it to the
'pot. A few spadesful of earth, few man
Y tears (caused by the uprootng of Il very
powerful onion near by and all was over.
The next day / sat in my library read
ng an instructive volume entitled '"En e
mas OF Life" The door was thrown open
md Il bouncing, beWildering object gyrated
long the floor TO my study chair, followed
~ Bridget, with the thunders OF Olympus /
N her brow, and-yes-a BACKED eye.
With wrathful gestures she shot fort her
trade: II
can ii is meself that'll be :lfther hayin'
ny eye kilt entirely wild the murthefin
wild villin av hoop-skurrt jumpin' into
&c face, whiieI was diggin' 4 few peraties ;
or dinncr--like ! divil from pnrgatory, ,
ure!'' {
sne disappeared, and I laid down my ,
ook in despair. "Enigmas Of Life" ]
houId think so. seized the hoop-skirG
d ran frantically into the garden. |
fould bury it seventy fathoms deep, it Il
ad TO dig through to the Antipodes. No /
ne should say that Theophiius Blodgett /
Fas the man to be conquered by an old
oop-skirt, forty spring, double elliptic
1ough it might be! Just as Ireaehed the t
orner of the woodshed | heard q silyery |e
dice exclaim: i
Good morning, Mr.. Blodgett..'' - ]
Looking aronnd, / deserted, oh, horrorI =
ne clergyman of st. james, with his wife : !
nd young lady visitor, Miss Juliet Thorn-
IN, coming to call /, For the Rev. Gigs :