The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-12-08
A SoliIoauy on Carving.

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prospect now that in our best circles,
within short time, the old custom of
making the host demolish the Kindred
poultry at dinner will become extinct,
and that servant at side board, on a
small salary will take hand-saw and a
can of nitro-glycerine and shatter the
remains, thus giving the hots of chance
to chat with his guests instead of spat-
tering them with dressing and casting
gloom and gravy over the company.
This is a move for WHICH / have long
contended. 1t places the manual labor
of II dinner where it belongs, and re-
leved a man who should give his whole
attentioI to the entertainment of his
friends ut the table. You would not
expect your host to take off his coat and
kill the fowl In you presence in or
der to show you that il was all on the
square, and it is not customary to re-
quire the proprietor of the house to
peel the potatoes at the table for his
guests to prove that there is no put-up
job about it.
Therefore claim that the lamented
hen may be thoroughly shattered at u
side table by an athlete at four dollars
per week, and still good faith toward
the guests be maintained. If any one
be doubtful or suspicious, etiquette will
permit him to stand by the side of the
hireling carver and witness the inquest.
Still it would be better fun for him to
sit at the table, and if the parts given to
him are not satisfactory, he can put
them in has overshoes pro tenn, and cas-
ually throw them out the back door
while the other guests are listening to
the "Maiden's Prayer" in the parlor.
Under the new deal the host will en-
JOY the dinner much more than lie used
to with his thumb cut off and quart
of dressing in his lap. No man feels
perfectly ut home if he has to wrap up
his cut finger in rag and then scoop a
handful of dressing out of his vest pocket
and then return it to the platter. Few
men are cool enough to do this, laugh
ing heartily all the time and telling
some mirth-provoking anecdote mean
while.
1t is also annoying to have twenty
guests ask for the dark meat, please"
when there are only three animals
cooked and neither one of them had a
particle of dark meat about her person.
Lately / have adopted the plan of seq
regating the fowl by main strength,
using the fingers when necessary, and
then whipping them in an off-hand nam
ner on the table-cloth. Then 1 ask the
servant to bring in that dark hen when
ordered, so that We might have an
abundance of dark meat. If the SER
want says there is none, | smile and tell
the guests that the brunette chicken,
by some oversight, has been eaten in
the kitchen, and / will have to give
them such relics as may be ut hand.
This simpliiies the matter, and places
me in far more agreeable place rela-
tive to the company. Ny great success,
however, in carving is mainly confined
to the watermelon. The watermelon
does not confuse me. / always know
where to find the joints, and those who
do not like the inside of the melon can
have the outside. Now, my great
have Nebraska chicken and the next
trip / have to assassinate Mormon
Shanghai pallet, with high, expressive
hip-bones and amalgam paletot. This
makes me nervous, because they are so
dissimilar and their joints are in differ
ent places. The Mormon hen is round
shouldered and her collar-bone is more
on the bias than the Nebraska fowl.
This gives total different expression
to her features in death, and as / have
said, destroys the symmetry of tho
carve.
became my education in this line by
carving butter in hot weather, and grad
ually led up to the quail on toast. In
carving the quail, first mortgage your
home and get the quail. The quail
should be cooked before carving, but
not until the chrononeter balance and
other organs have been removed. Place
your quail on the tonst in sitting POI
sition. then passing the dissecting knife
down between the shoulder blades,
bisect the polonaise.
Another method is to take to quail by
the hind leg and eat it, asking the
guests to do the same. This breaks up
the feeling of stiffness that is apt to
prevail at formal dinner party, and
while each one has his or her nose i'm
mersed in quail, good feeling cannot
fail to show itself.-BiH Nye.