The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-11
How Mr.. Poultney went for
Two Callers.
A Celebrated Actress Settles
a Judgment against Her.
Remarkable Work of a For
mer Rock Island Justice.
The Usual Full Line of Short
News Nuggets.
WOULD 90 FOR THE BOYS.

P0ultney, bnaC is we small cali MIN
Poultney in order not to give him away
very badly. The old gentleman, who has
| a family of blooming and manageable
daughters, is as finicky and irascible as such
old covies are usually. He is not SO foolish
however, as to try to prevent the boys
from calling upon the girls, but he insists
upon going to bed early and if he is
awakened from his first sleep by a sound
of revelry in the parlor he becomes as
uncanny a subject as one would wish to
tackle. A night or two ago slender
Davenport journalist, who has his evenings
to himself, came over the river and accom-
panied by friend concluded to put in an
evening at old Poultneys. The streets
being muddy, the weather damp and the
night as dark as Erebus, combined to keep
all of the girls at. home. which happy COM
binatisn of circumstances was appreciated
by the callers at its true value. They
reached the house little after 8 o'clock
and the first hour was spent with
THE BEwITCHTNG YOUNG LADIES
in the stereotyped manner. First in look
ing over the albums at pictures of sisters
cousins, aunts, etc, many of which seemed
to have been pulled out of the camera that
Noah is said to have taken into the ark
under his arm. Then they talked about
comets, the weather, etc, and from meteor
ology the conversation glided into more in
teresting channels, such as the very latest
style of pull-b back for the ultra fashionable
young man. By this time it was after 9
O'Clock and old Poultney after renewing
the mustard plaster between his shoulder
blades and slipping his hot stuff was
ambling off leisurely into the land of
pleasant dreams. About this time Mo
mus was king in the front parlor and
HILARITY BEGAN TO BOOM,
as it were. One of the girls had, however,
previously taken the precaution of closing
the folding doors, thinking that the old
gentleman could not, by any possibility,
catch onto the racket But 1.-THE best laid
plans of mice and men gang aft aglee" and
old Poultney did catch on in way to be
despised.
1t was about 10 O'Clock and the fun was
growing fast and furious, when one of the
girls went out into the dining room to get
a glass of water for one of the visitors. OF
course she took care to close the folding
doors tightly, in order that not a sound of
the parlor hurrah should reach the ears of
her father. But, alas, on her return she
got glimpse of venerable gentleman, a
la nightgown and cap, sliding
ACROSS THE DINING ROOM
from his bed room like cat Before
Bella, (she shall be called thus,) could set
the glass upon the table old Poultney had
seized one of the door knobs
and was Juggling away like mad
to open the doors. In his
great excitement he couldn't accomplish
much, so that in less than five seconds poor
Bella was pulling as hard at the old mans
fluttering robes as he was on the door
knob. The harder he pulled the harder
Bella pulled, all the time imploring her ia
ther. in fierce whisper, to desist from
his fell purpose and fly once more to his
bed room. The only response was, from
between his clenched teeth: "I'n teach
them idiots that I'm going to hev some
sleep in my own house, by mighty" and
thereupon he pulled again harder than
ever, and Bella also pulled. But cid
Poultney had forgotten the COM
bination, and finally, when it
seemed as if something must
give way, there was sudden rush in the
| front room. The callers had, in a moment
of quiet, heard the subdued rustling on the
other side of the folding doors, and, mag
lining that something was abont to happen
hurriedly babe the girls goodnight, left the
house and skipped down the street like a
couple of frisky young lambs. The first
| correct intimation they will have of their
| narrow escape will be this publication in
the ARGUS Next time they go up
they will sing psalms. eat peanuts
and talk in whisper.