San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
ACUR,OUs CONTEST.
How Young Lady Decided Between Two Ardent
Layers.
Kansas State Gazette,

| Kansas state uakeUf'
Miss Millie Pixton has long been
known az the most beautiful girl in ru
raj Arkansas. The night that she
graduated at the log schoolhouse, a
drummer who was present swore by his
sacred samples and the enterprise OF
the firm which he represented that the
girl could not only take the sweet
bread, but that she could overawe any
woman of her inches outside of the
overlooked districts.
Consequently, Miss Pixton became n
belle. Ardent youths engraved her
name on the beech trees in the COM
nunity; old men sang her praise. Her
only enemies were the less fortunate
women.
Among the numerous admirers who
visited Miss Pixton and entered suit in
the court of sentiment for her hand,
and mayhap her feet, were two young
men of unusual promise, Dick Greggs
and Hank Oxpatch. These young men
flowed with love that was more than
love-" They were stuck. .. ... .a.
One night, while both of these young
men were pleading with the beautiful
girl, she said: So. .s..
"Gentlemen, 1 love both of you. 1t
is strange that woman can love two
men just the same, but l do all the
same. Dick, you are man of infu-
ence. 1t is said you can kiver more
corn with hoe in day than any man
in the neighborhood. This is power
full advertising card, l must admit. For
q long time l have thought that when
got married, one of the features making
up the accomplishments of my husband
must be recognized dexterity in kiver-
ing corn. You are good man, Dick.
Some time ago, when 1 seed you fling
Buck Elmsfoot over the fence, told
pap that you was good man, and
would make some woman happy. l
love you devotedly, Dick; but cannot
marry you, for love Hank equally as
we'll. Hank, dear Hank, you are worthy
of any woman's love. lam told, Hankie,
that you can chop more wood than any
man in the country. l have said that
# ever married it would be to man
who could handle an ak with heroic ac-
tivity. The other day when I seed you
ketch that white SOW by the ear and
hold her out at arms length, I remarked
to my mother, says I: .......
"Nlam, that man is capable of max
ing some woman joyously joyous
II love you, Hank, but cannot
marry you, because love Dick too.
"Now 1 want to do the fair thing by
both of you. There amt nothing d.
minutive about me. There amt no
molecules in my composition. L am
made of genuine Jumps of principle. I
know that it is difficult matter to set
tie this affair satisfactorily, therefore l
must adopt some plan. The man who,
two weeks from to-day, will perform in
my presence the most wonderful feat,
shall claim me. Go away and practice"
The young men arose and silently
departed. They retired from society.
The neighbors knew that each man was
himself for the exhibition,
and the entire neighborhood became
excited over the approaching festivi-
ties. ..'.. ....
When the day arrived the Pixton
was crowded. The exhibition
was to take place in the yard, where
seats for the audience were arranged.
Dick, dressed in tight fitting suit, was
the first announced. Taking position,
be brayed and by muscular movement
worked his ears. 1t was evident that he
intended playing the part of the mule.
Before proceeding luther he called for
a revision of the statutes, viz: That he
should act the mule as natural as pos
sible, and that unless his com petitor
should surpass him in portraying the
disposition of the mule, the girl was to
be handed over to him.
A vote was taken and the revision
passed. Dick then brayed again and
worked his ears. The audience shout
ed. Hank then took position. He did |
not attempt to work his ears. 1t was
evident that the audience was becoming
disguise d. One of Hanks friends en-
tered the arena to whisper something
to the actor. Hank squealed and |
hauled oil and kicked the man in the
face. The audience yelled with en-
thusiasm. The victory was decided. |
The girl was handed to Hank. The
happy pair arrived in Little Rock soon
after. ..'- s.r.- --