davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
AlrSanlrla 0azette.
TUESDAY EVENING, ocTR. 81. 1892.

A McTammany self-acting organ was re-
Gently put in church. The sexton learned
how to start but not how to stop it. The
music went we'll with the first hymn. It
stopped then, but just as the clergyman COM
pleted the words "Let lis pray" the organ
clicked and started a fresh tune. The con-
.rcgation and minister sat it out patiently,
while the unhappy sexton grew red i'll the
face trying to find out how to stop it. At
the end of the fifth verse of the second tune
the minister got up again, and said. LET us
pray" when click" went the machine. and
otrit started on another tune. SO four of
the stoutest men in the congregation carried
the thing out into the churchyard, where it
continued to click and to play away for the
rest of the day. getting to the fortieth tune
and the end Of the rope being toward even
ing.-.imcricdn .4,f Journal.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
1000 GREAT 100.
lCOS PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE SS.

1900 GREAT 1908
lCOS PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE ISSI
TO THE :, .rI WEST &AND SOUTHWEST
DOUBLE IkACk, steel. RAIL-
SPLENDID SCENERY. :
MAGNIFICENT EQUIPMENT.
In effect October J. 1882
trains leave Washington from station, corner OF
Sixth and B. streets, as follows:
For Plttsburg and the West, Chicago Limited
Express of Palace Sleeping Cars mt $50 a. m
daily Fast Line, $50 a. M, daily with Sleepina
Cars from Harrisburg to Cincinnati Western
Express $50 p NJ, daily, with Palace Cars tc
Plttsburg and Cincinnati. Mail Express CSC
p. m, daily, for Pittsburg and the West.
BALTIMORE AND POTOMAC RAILROAD.
For Erie, Canandaigua, Rochester, Buffalo Nioo,r,
S:oop; m. daily, except Saturday, with Palace
Cars Washington to Canandaigua.
For Willamsport, Lock Haven and Elmira. At
$3.50 a. M daily, except Sunday.
For New York and the East, 500 and 1870 a y,
l:3O, 4:2O, 900 and 1920 p. m. On Sunday
~, 700 and 1920 p NJ. Limited Express Of
Pullman Parlor Cars, $50 a. M, daily, EXCEPT
For Brooklyn, n. Y, all through trains connect at
Jersey City with boats of Brooklyn Annex.
afording direct transfer to Fulton street avoid.
ing double ferriage across New York CITY.
For Philadelphia, 500 and 1890 a. M. lao
Az, 800 and 1920 p. NJ On Sunday, 400,
$50 and 1920 p. M. Limited Express Gao
a. m, daily, except Sunday
For Baltimore GAO, 500, $50 and 1920 4. m.
and anod 1:So, APO, 4:40, 6:20, 7:3O, $50, and
1920 p. NJ. On Sunday, 500 and 0.3Oa m
:, and42o, $40, 7:so, $50 and 1920 p. m. "
For Pope's Creek Line, GAO a. NJ, and 40 y m
daily, except Sunday. = '''''
For Annapolis GAO a. M, and 4:4O p. NJ, daily,
except Sunday.
ALEXANDRIA AND FREDERICKSBURG RAILWAY
AND
ALEXANDRIA AND WASHINGTON RAILROAD
For Alexandria, 6:3O, 700, 92O, HOO and
11:25 a. NJ, 400 500 600. 500 and II 40 y
M. On Sunday at 6:3O, 9:2O, loo and ! Ok
a. m. and 500 p IN.
For Richmond and the South, 6:sO and IL % a
= M, daily, and 300 p. NJ, daily, except SUNDAY.
Trains leave ave Alexandria for Washington, 600
*. ~ s9O and 1000 a. m; 1910, 300, 500,
100 and 900 p. m, and 1900 midnight. On
Sunday at 100, 500 and 1000 a. m; 700 and
Tickets and information at the office, Northeast
corner of 18th street and Penna Avenue, and at
the station, where orders be left for the check
ing OF baggage to destination from hotels and
residences J.R. WOOD. q p
Ghas. +. FuGH, U. al. my7
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

Mail train South bound, connects ut Charlottcs-
vile, with Chesapeake and Ohio R. w. East and
West; at Lynchburg, with Norfolk & Western r.
r., through Southwest Virginia to Nashville, New
Orleans, Memphis, Little Rock and Texas, and
with Rich & Alleg'y. Il. r. for Lexington and
Natural Bridge-and at DaAville with Richmond
Danrille Railroad, to South and Southwest.
Mail train North bound, connects ut Lynchhurc
with the Il. q 4. K. L. for Lexington and Natural
Bridge, and at Charlottesville with c. &. O. Il. W.
for Staunton, Clifton Forge and intermediate
points
Express trains South bound. connect ut Char.
lottesville with c. l. o. r. ". for the West and
at Danville with r. & D. r. R., for all points in
South, Southeast, Southwest, and East
Express trains north bound connect at Char
lottesville with c. & 0. II. W. for Richmond
Staunton, White Sulphur, Charleston and Hunt
ington.
For Fairfax c. H. daily connection, except Sun.
day, at Fairfax station.
Trains so, 81 and 81 connect to and from
| WARRENTON daily, and train 53 daily, cxccpt
Sunday, to and from Warrenton
Mail Trains, north and south bound connect at
Franklin Junction to and from all points on
Franklin Division
MINED TRAINS, leave Alexandria daily OK
ccpt Sunday, 600 a. m LOO pm and 1905 am
returning arrive at Alexandria 2:45. lilo and
11:10 p. N.
Il.
4. m, arrive ut Strasburg 1910 p M, connecting
with the Valley Road East and West. and at
River with Shen. VAL R. r. for Luray and
Waynesboro. Returning, leave Str,shurp 1:5O D.
m, arriving ut Alexandria 54Spm
MINED TRAIN leaves Alexandria 7:O5 a. m.
arriving at Strasburg $50 p M, returning
leave Strasburg 700 a. ~, arriving at Alcxan.
dria at 4:40 p M
For Middleburg, connection at Plains station.
For upperville, connection at Delapane
Pullman Sleeping Cars between New York and
Atlanta on Mail trains, north and south bound,
without change; only one change of cars between
New York and New Orleans.
New Orleans Sleeping Cars leave Washington
40 a. m, running through without change.
Pullman Sleeping Cars between Washington
and Charleston, S. c., without change OH 1885 n
III. train, via Greensboro, Charlotte and Columbia.
Solid trains with Pullman Palace C...s attached
run through between Washington and Louisville,
via Staunton and White Sulphur, daily.
Marks Sleeping Couch Cars on Night trains
between Washington and Danville north and
south bound
All trains make good connections, Mt Washinp
ton, to and from North and West.
Through tickets at lowest rates to all imnortont
points i'll the United States.
r II HAWKS A Il C. IN
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

''My case is just here said citizen to q
lawyer. the other day: ''The plaintiff will
swear hit him will swear I did not.
Now what can you lawyers make out OF
that ii we 60 TO trial - Five dollars
apiece was the prompt reply as he extern
ded his hand.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
ONE PRICE TO All.
HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS
STEUERNAGEL'S
Exchange and Ballard House

Nos. % and 30, North Royal Street.
GEORGE STEUERNAGET,...... .pronrictor
having Deen remodeled and refurnishei, is now
open Tor the entertainment of guests. The very
best accommodations guaranteed Meals at all
hours, with bill of fare embracing all the deli.
cacies OF the season. SALT WATER OYSTERS
received from Norfolk three times Il week
oct10
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
DIERS And SCOURERS
EXCURSIONS. PICNIcs 4.

0CCOQUAN FALLS
~ AND MT. VERNON SPRINGS.
STEAMER MARY WASHINGTON
Having been thoroughly overhauled and newly
furnished, will commence running excursions to
the above places. Until further notice, on and
after
SUNDAY MAY 81, 1882,
for Occoquan Falls Sundays, Wednesdays. and
Fridays, boats leaving Prince street Wharf Sun
days at 10 q. M, returning at 7:3O p. m; Wednes-
days and Fridays at $50 a. m, returning at 100
p. N. Fair, round trip % cents. Mount Yer
non Springs, Saturdays, leaving wharf at $50 a..
M, returning at 43O p. IN. Fare round trip 1Oc.
Music and dancing on all trips except SUNDAYS.
Music by Professor A. ]. Cooks Band
No Objectionable parties allowed OH the boat.
ES. RANDALL
myiS-u Proprietor
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

D EFRIGERATORS! REFRIGERATORS y
LIZ We are now prepared to furnish all who want
Refrigerators, with the best that are made,
elegant in design and workmanship and perfect in
their working. Call and examine or send for
illustrated catalogue and price list.
my5 MCLEAN & UHLER, IS King ST.
MORTICE LOCKS AND LATCHES for Yesti.
Ul bules, on hand and for sale at low prices.
Dead Locks of extra quality and great variety
of cheap Rim and Mortice Locks of assorted ouali
ty. Builders will find it to their advantage to call
at 80 King cor. of Royal streets
sep5 J. 7. CREIGHTON & son.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
LEGAL NOTICES.


VIRGINIA: City of Alexandria, to-wit:
We, B. ?. Sale s Co., bottlers and vendors OF
beer in the city of Norfolk Virginia have adopted
as our Trade Mark the name and words, "B. p,
Sale, Norfolk, Fa.," enclosed in an oval-shaped
figure, and claim the right to the exclusive use of
this trade mark impressed upon the beer bottles
and the bottles upon which the said trade mark is
impressed.
The bottles upon which this trade mark is i'm.
pressed, and of which we claim the exclusive use
are of glass, light in color and contain thirteen
fourteen, fifteen and sixteen ounces, are common.
~ called pint bottles, have patent beer shoppers
afhxed thereto, and arc of the shape in which beer
bottles are usually made.
This claim of trade mark is made and this do.
scription filed i'll accordance with the terms and
provisions of an Act of Assembly, approved 9th
March, 1880 and entitled an Act to protect own.
ers OF trade marks and to prohibit the unauthor
lied use, sale or purchase of bottles upon which
any manufacturer vender of beer. mineral
waters and other beverages may have had their
name or mark impressed
Given under our hands this Doth day of Octo.
Der, 1857 B. P. SALE g. CO.,
B. p. SALE.
JNO. S. HOLMES.
VIRGINIA: Corporation Court of the CITY Of
Alexandria, Clerks Office, October %. 1850
This claim of trade mark was this dar filed and
recorded. Teste:
MORTON MARYE, Clerk.
copy:teste: MORTON MARYE, Clerk.
Oct23-Ow
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
FOR TIE LOWER POTOMAC.

The str w. THOMPSON will leave her wharf
ut $50 o'clock a. M. EVERY SUNDAY FOR
LEONARDTOWN, EVERY WEDNESDAY FOR
NOAllNI. and EVERY FRIDAY FOR CURRIO-
MAN and INTERMEDIATE LANDINGS, return
ing OH alternate days.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

TNHE NEW YORK ENAMEL READY MIXED
L PAINTS, combining beauty, durability and
economy-always ready for use and easily applied
These are decidedly the best Ready Mixed Paints on
the market, and are suitable for the finest house
painting work. Prices very low. Send for sam.
pie card of colors. (ap25I JANNEY & CO.
NE ADAMS & WESTLAKE OIL STOVE
l. Perfect security; easy operate The stovc
Tor 1857 combines all the latest improvements
Call and examine before purchasing. Just the
thing for heating rooms For sale by
oct7 MCLEAN & UHLER, 76 King ST
nUR FULL LINE OF RUBBER BOOTS AND
~ SHOES, purchased in May, since advanced 20
per cent sold lower than any other store in the
city at [oct5] JOS. KAUFMANN'S Ae,t.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
SUMMER AT BREUGLE'S

ICE CREAM, FRESH MILK
FRUITS AND CREAM, PIE AND MILK
ALL DELICIOUS, FRESH AND cool.
At No 129 King ST.. always ready
40 BkENGLE'S ICE CREAM WATER ICES.
Orange and Lemon Pics for dessert or lunrh
and pure Candies specaltics in which he has
never been excelled. Cakes of all kinds of the
best material cheaper than they can be made at
home. He caters of the best for families, parties
balls, fairs and entertainments.
Cream Putfs, Tarts and Pastry of all kinds:
Fruits, sugared and plain; Caromels. Nuts and
SonIecIionerlcS OF all KINDS. ie1O
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
FOR NEW YORK.


STEAMERS Z. c. KNIGHT AND JOHN
GIBSON
EVERY FRIDAY. and returning leave New
York, from pier IL, East river, EVERY SAT.
URDAY.
The steamers of this company make connections
at Norfolk for Boston and all points East; at New
York with all points West and Northwest, and NJ
Alexandria with Virginia Midland Railway and
Washington and Ohio Railroad Through rate,
given and freight handled carefully and promptly.
For further information apply to
+. A. REED & CO., Agent,
- Janncy's wharf,
VIM. THOMPSON, President,
l4l6 + street.
scp2l-tf Washington, D. C.
GLIDE'S STEAM LINE WEEKLY To
PHILADELPHIA, FALL RIVER PROVI-
DENCE AND BOSTON
Appointed sailing days from A!exandri, Ev
SATURDAY..
This line connects at Alexandria with the vir
glnla Midland and Washington and Ohio railroads
and at Philadelphia with Clyde's regular Steam
ships for Fall River, Providence and Boston.
Freight forwarded with promptncss and care
free of commissions
NO charge for transfer in Philadelphia. and to
wharfage in Boston. Quick time Frequent dc.
parturcs. Through rates and through bills of
iadirlE gwen Insurance. ut the lowest rates
Agents
F. a. REED &, CO.. Alexandria
VIM. =. CLYDE & Co, Philadelrbia
JOHNSON & CO., Wash. & Georgt'n
janS-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
COncOrdia Hotel.
J. B0HRAUS, Proprietor

J. B0HRAUS, Proprietor.
COR. PRINCE AND ROYAL STREETS
Having thoroughly refitted and furnished my
house, it is now open 4 HOTEL to be kept on the
European Plan, and guests will be received and ac
commodated on the most favorable terms.
everything to be found in season and the repu-
tatlon OF the house will be mai~taned. sep4
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
Steamers of this line will run as follows;
FOR NORFOLK,
Connecting with Merchants and Miners Line for
Boston, steamer
LADY OF THE LAKE

LADY OF THE LAKE
EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY
at GOO o'clock p. M; returning leave Norfolk on
alternate days at 400 p. M
This stunch iron steamer has Just been painted
throughout. statcrooms newly furnished and ear.
petcd and is the handsomest as well as the safes,
boat on the Potomac river and Chesapeake bay,
and IS the only steamer making close connection
with the New York and Boston steamers; also
connects with Richmond Steamers and railroad
lines South. Stops at PINEY POINT and POINT
LOOKOUT going and returning.
For the fall and winter, commencing Oct. LIST.
rates of fare will be rs follows:
First class fare to Fortress Monroe and Norfolk
$50, second class $50 first class fare to Piucy
Point and Point Lookout, $3.50; second class
rs cents.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

NTE WOULD REMIND THOSE IN WANT OF
w STATIONERY AND PRINTING
that We can supply them with first class stock Mt
prices below our competitors. Special attention
called to ENVELOPES, STATEMENTS, BILL,
NOTE and LETTER HEADS.
sep2 ROBERT BELLS SONS
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
! NORFOLK, PORTSMOUTH, FORTRESS
MONROE AND THE sOUTH
THE STEAMER GEORGE LEARy

! Il l. \ M Z GEORGE LEARY
Carrying the u s. Mail)
Will leave her wharf foot of Prince ST., ON TIES
DAYS and THURSDAYS at $50 D. m, ..and SAT.
URDAIS ut 600, stopping at Piney Point and
ia oinI Nooh9ut gong ana returning. Returning
at 4oclock p. M and SUNDAYS at 500
FALL AND WINTER ARRANGEMENT
Beginning October l.
First class fare to Fortress Monroe and Norfolk
500; Second class, each way, $3.50; First class
fare to Piney Point and Point Lookout. 81 so.
Second class each way rs cents.
Connects at Norfolk with steamers for Rich.
mond New York and with the Merchants and Mi.
ners' Line for Boston,
GEORGE MATTINGLY, supt.
P. 3. HOOE, Agent. mhoe
INLAND AND SEABOARD COASTINC 20
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
RAILROADS.
W7AsHINGToS AND WESTERN RAILROAD
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.

SUMMER ARRANGEMENT,
TWO TRAINS DAILY EXCEPT sunday BE.
| TWEEN ALEXANDRIA AND ROUND HILL,
BEGINNING OCTOBER II, 1882.
Leave Washington ut 20 a. M. and 90 p M.
ana Alexandria at . 20 q. m. and 4 25 p. m. Pass
Leesburg going westward, at IL 33 a. M. and
~ p m, and arrive at Round Hill at - Is p.
M and 50 ?; m Leave Round Hill at 5 80 q
III. ana II 80 p. ~. Pass Leesburg, going east
ward, at ID 4. IN. and 16 p. M, and arrive at
Alexandria at Is a. N. and 3 Is D. m, and at
washington at 30 a. M. and 3 % p M
| 10" Passengers from Washington will take the
Washington and Ohio cars at the Baltimore and
Potomac Railroad station at 800 m. and 40 nj
M, and go through to Round Hill without chang
| of cars.
The 9:25 a. m. train from Alexandria and 1890
pm. train from Round Hill connect at Round Hill
with DAILY Line OF Coaches for Snickersville Der
ryvllle and Winchester; also with Line of Coaches
which leave Leesburg daily for Aldie and Middle
| burg.
Both trains, Westward, make close connections
at Vienna, with Sision's Line of Stages for Fairfax
| Court House.
One thousand mile communication tickets, bear.
ing two names $50; one thousand mile tickets
bearing all the names of family or members of q
| firm, S25.
oct21 II. MAcLEAN, supt.
| VIRGINIA MIDLAND RAILWAY
JOHN S. BARBOUR, President,
On and after Sunday, Oct. 18th, 1882, Passen.
ger trains will run rs follows:
SOUTH BOUND Train so. Train S. Train ST.
MAIL EXPRESS L. EXp's
W.,ashngt!onQeave) 10 A. N. 1875 P, NJ. $40 NJ
Gordonsvie (ar) lbs Us A. NJ, ''''
LIyneh5urg (aT.) rs p NJ sis sis wv
| Danve, Cos ~
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31
STEAMERS.
GUNNER ARRANGEMENT.
WASHINGTON STEAMBOAT CO. uIu1rrn,

On and after June 49, 1882. the steamers CITY
OF WASHINGTON and CITY OF ALEXASDP1,
will run the following time table, viz:
LEAVE WESTINGHOUSE Is, 73o, $40
30. 10 30 and II 80 A. NJ, and 10 so. 30
30, 3 80, 30, 5 80, 6 30 and Z is P. N w.
LEAVE ALEXANDRIA-6O 90, 7 30 40
81, 10 80 and IL 30 A. NJ, and II 80. 30
30, ) 30, 30, 5 80. 6 80 and Z 15pM
40 \. B.Same schedule on Sundays, com.
mcncing at s 30 A. NJ
CHEAP AND PLEASANT EXCURSIoN-1a
miles on the Potomac for Is cents
POTOMAC RIVER LANDINGS.
The steamer ARROWSAIITH leaves eth STREE,
wharf Washington, at a. m and Alexandria ~,
1870 a. m. EVERY MONDAY, THURSDAY ana
SATURDAY for all river landings On MONDAYS
as far as Nomini Ferry; on Thursday Nomini and
Currioman; on Saturday Currioman and LeonsrS'
town; connects ut Shepherds with B. & o. r r
c. W. RIDLEY. Gen. Manager
Capt. JSo. r. WOOD, Fl. 4 Pass. Agt. ie20
TOR NORFOLK, PORTSMOUTH, FORTRESS
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

STEAMERS r. G. KNIGHT AND JOHN
GIBSON
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-10-31

VIRGINIA MIDLAND RAILWAY
JOHN S. BARBOUR, President.
On and after Sunday Oct 18th, 1882 Passen
ger trains will run rs follows:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-07-25

there's an iron box under the hearthstone
containing ten registered one thousand
dollar Sacramento bonds, made out in
Miss Patsey's name and, of course, they
are yours"
looked at John with sparkling eyes.
$50 | am an heiress, after all, y said /,
"Oh, John-dear John--I only wish it
was hundred times as much, so that /
could lay it all at your feet ~
For Miss Pounsett had deal of the
miserly element in her nature, and had
died in poverty sooner than to break in
upon her idolized hoard.
And that is how it happens that | am
living out here in Wisconsin, an artists
happy wife. And to the end of my days
shall always love the smell Of pepper
mint and rue, boneset and pennyroyal,
Cousin Patsey's treasured ''yarbs."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-07-25
A CHEAP GRAFTON.

There is yet living in Central Michi-
gan ii lawyer who some fifteen years ago,
was waited upon by committee from a
small village for the purpose of engaging
him to deliver a Fourth Of July oration.
When they asked his price he said that
te considered S25 cheap enough.
MERCY on me! !" explained the chair
man, but we can't pay no such price as
that That must be for a regular Henry
Clay oration.
..Well, yes. think it will compare
favorable with anything Henry got Oft. ~
"Oh, but we can't stand tive must
have cheaper one"
"How cheap
"Not over 50. Well give you 50,
your dinner, and all the lemonade you
can drink foy the cheapest Grafton in your
head"
I'll do it - replied the lawyer, and
the money was introduced, and without
any foo'ing around he walked to the
front I'd said
Fellow countrymen: We whipped
England twice and Mexico once. We
are free people. This is the gloriou:
Fourth. Give 'em Hail Columbia and
90 in for a good time-the end"
He had given them 80 Grafton, and
every soul in the crowd except one old
woman was perfectly satisfied. She fol,
lowed the orator around until she hac
cornerd him, and then expressed her dis
gust by saying:
"Seems to me that if you had really
desired to please the crowd you wouldn
have chopped that off without single
word about Noah's ark or the battle o
of Bunker Hill
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-07-25
NOT VERY MUCH.

| A young man with nose like razor
and an eye which would have raised a
blister on sheet-iron on hot day halted
a pedestrian on Gratiot avenue and stat
Cd that lie was trying to raise money to
reach the bedside OF his dying aunt in
Chicago. He was too proud to beg, but
if the citizen would give him quarter
he would show him a trick worth five
dollars.
''vhas ish dot drick :" queried the
citizen.
at is to make ten cents go further
than dollar. You can play it on the
boys and make ten dollars day"
my frient, | nefer blays nit der boys.
"Yes, but you can have lots Of fun,
you know
II vhas no handt for fun. If efer
git off some shokes defer latt."
"les, but this is something new.
When you come down to the grocery Of
an evening YOU"
81 doan' come down. Ivhas home en-
der stheps all der eafnings.'
But you could have little fun with
your neighbors."
81 told you vhas not funny man.
| likes to schmoke und read der morning
bapers.'
"Well, | don't want to beg, and | am
offering you this trick very low in order
to get home and sec my sister die. Have
you dying sister,
81 doan' expect ! have. Vhas ih
dot bricks =
"To make ten cents go further than a
dollar
"Und Will she do it y
"She WILL"
"Und five cents goes more as a dollar
"Just so"
"Und nottings at all goes peter ash
FIVE cents -
"I-I-I think it does"
"Nhell, you shust consider you haf all
der nottings efer was and you vhill be in
Chicago tomorrow Gif my love to dot
dying sister und tell her dot you saw me
well. You'd peter git some express
Wagons to draw dose nickels down to
der railroad, und you look leedle out
for some Dutchmans who has peen eat
ing grass und vhas green =
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-07-25
TIE BAD AND WORTHLESS

Are never initiated or cOunterfeited. This
is especially true OF family medicine, and
it is positive proof that the remedy initiated
is of the highest value. As soon rs it had
been tested and proved by the whole world
that Hop Bitters was the purest, best and
most valuable family medicine on earth,
many limitations sprung up and began TO
steal the notices in which the press and
people of the country had expressed the
merits OF H. b., and in every way trying
To iLduce suffering invalids TO use their
stuff instead, expecting TO make money
on the credit and good name of ii. b.
Many others started nostrums put up In 4
similar style TO III. b., with variously de-
vised names in which the word Hop" or
" Hops" were used in way to induce
people to people to believe they were the
same as Hop Bitters. All such pretended
remedies or cures, no matter what their
style or name is. and especially those with
the word " Hop or " Hops in their name
or in any way connected with them or
their name, are limitations or counterfeits.
Beware of them. Touch none OF them.
Use nothing but genuine Hop Bitters, with
a bunch or cluster of green Hops on the
white label. Trust nothing else. Drug
sists and dealers are warned against deal
inc I'm limitations or couuterfeits.