Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-03-16
FRONTIER ANECDOTES.

One Of the dryest jokers of the day is
Judge Allen A. Bradford, of the Pueblo
Bar He is little eccentric, but withal
one of the best lawyers in the Far West.
He was trying case a few years since be-
fore Judge to whom he took dislike.
The Judge was undecided in his rulings !;
would change his conclusions every time
the opposite lawyer would argue point.
When Bradford came to talk to the jury
he took occasion to express his contempt.
Said he Gentlemen of the jury, the in
decision of this Court reminds me of the
tabled ass that died between two bundles
of straw for want of decision" The Court
could stand this no longer. Calling the
attorney to order, he fined him s. for con-
tempt With the GOODNESS he is capable of,
Bradford felt in his pocket for a moment,
then, producing 81 80, said in his peculiar
intopations of voice, Your Honor, have
but half the amount. l will pay for the
straw, but let the ass stand"
A very good story is told of one Squire
Dyer, who was a Justice of the Peace at
Canyon City in an early day. He prided
himself on having the finest saddle mare
in all Colorado. She was as slick as a
mouse and as fleet as hound. Not horse
in Fremont county could overtake her in a
hundred.mile run, and the Squire was
ready to stake his money on that PROPOSE
ton. Said he in the bar.room one day, adj
dressing some seedy bummers, Gentle
men, if you will give my mare ten minutes
start, will bet 81, 200 that all the horses
in Colorado can't catch her before she lands
in the Pacific Ocean," The barkeeper,
having an eye to business, chimed in,
eyes, gentlemen, I believe the Squire's
mar is better boss than the winner of
tde Darby to-day. She is daisy, and
don't you forget it." These remarks 80
pleased the Squire he called all hands, and
ten red noses with blue trimmings stood in
row at the bar without further notice.
"Now," said the barkeeper, as he raised
his tumbler to his chin, cheers to the
Squar and his wonderful mar" And they
all guggled at the same time. As the
money was paid for the "scoots and the
Squire retired, the barkeeper remarked to
the bummers who had taken their seats at
the stove, "Maybe I'm sucker. This
would have been dull day if hadn't
a-rung in that air remark about the Darby
boss. The Squire has got weak spot, and
it's hoss"
One day notorious horse-thief had been
captured and brought into Court to be
committed. While the examination was
progressing the Prosecuting Attorney and
Sheriff stepped to the door to counsel. The
thief seized the opportunity and clasped in
the Squire's hand a twenty.dollar gold
piece with the remark, "Hold the case
until dark then dismiss for error in the
complaint. 1t sets forth that horse has
been stolen, while the evidence shows that
it was mare" The case went tripping
along until the sun had dropped behind the
hills and darkness Swallowed the land.
Then the Court raised the horse and the
mare question, and dismissed the prisoner.
Before new complaint could be made he
was far away under the cover of darkness
The Squire then adjourned the Court and
went straight home, In high glee. Arriv-
ing there he clapped the "double saw.
buck" over his eye and went capering
around the floor ike young colt. HIS
good wife, noticing the wealth, made some
remark about apparel Nothing to wear,
eh?" said the Squire. ga calico dress
goes" Supper being over, he repaired to
the barn to feed his beast. But, 10! she
was gone. He had bogus coin in his
pocket, while the thief was bestride his
beautiful mare over the hills and far away