The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-08-24
Oonnuerinr a Mule,

''Ben Appleby, of st. Louis, had
mule" said the stableman, (Which was
one of the knowingest cusses you ever
saw. | dunno where Ben found him,
but, one day he come drivin' home with
this mule hitched ter the tail end of his
wagon. He was an innocent lookin'
animal, plump an fat. an looked like
he was goin' ter be good fer suthin'.
Well, the next day after Ben got i'm
home he tried ter hitch i'm up, but he
wouldn't be hitched. He jest everlast-
in'ly kicked the wagon inter splinters.
He kicked one eend outer ther stable,
an kicked ter stall down, an kicked
everything in sight. Ben took i'm out
in the corn-feld one day, an hitched
i'm to plow, but he up an kicked that
plow over inter ther next lot. He was
all right under saddle, but ther mint
Ben tried ter hitch i'm ter anything he
jest kicked it outer sight. No matter
where he was, if things didn't suit i'm,
he jest let himself out an kicked No
body but Ben dast go near i'm. Well,
finally he diskivered that everybody was
scared of i'm, an he got the idee that
he was the greatest mule in that section
of ther country. He had away of cock
in one ear forward an the other back
ards an winkin' one eye when any one
came near i'm, as much as to say: Git
on to me; I'm Ben Appleby's kickin'
mule, an don't yer forgit it. When
Ben would be ridin' i'm long ther road
an they'd pass another mule, he'd jist
git his ears in position an wink an grin
as much as ter say: Pm the only mule
in this county. I'm kicker, | am
He seemed to understan' thet he had
the dead wood on Ben, an thet nobody
could hitch i'm to no sort of a vehicle.
He got chuck, ram, jam full of conceit,
an use ter parade hisself aroun' the
barnyard like he owned the place. Ben
made up his mind as how the mule
wouldn't never be no count tell he was
broke to drive in harness. He tried all
sorts 'er ways. He hitched i'm to a
mowin' machine, an the result was he
had ter git new machine. The mule
everything that Ben tried ter hitch i'm
to. Bimeby Ben got mad. He swore
| he'd take the conceit outer that animal
to study up ther case, till, one day a
man came along with one of them farm
engines what they run thrashin' mer-
sheens with. Ben says to i'm, 'rll give
yer five dollers, if you'll let me hitch
my mule ter that mersheen.' Git out
yer mule sez the man, an Ben led i'm
outer the sta bic. He can't pull it, seq
tee man. Never mine sez Ben, 'he
kin try it, So he led the mule out in
the road, an the mule he knowed in a
mint what was goin' on. He cooked
his ears backards an forrards, an
grinned and sez to hisself:
"'They'm goin' to hitch me to that
thing. Dog-gOne my skin, 1ll kick
it inter the next county. I'm Ben APP.
pleby's kickin' mule, am. Watch me
now an see how | do it.
well, Ben an the man got i'm
hitched up to the mersheen an he be.
gan to kick agin ther boiler-head. He
Kicked, an he kicked, an he kicked
but the mersheen never budged. Ber
an the man stood on the fence watch.
in the job. an the man a-laughin' tC
kill hisself Ben looked kinder satisfied
but he never fetched a smile. Bimeby
| the mule settled down on his four legs
an swung his head an said to hisself
'''Wat kline of a dog-gone vehicle is
this, any how? She don't fetch worth
cent. Maybe somethin's the matter
with my legs. I'll go it agin, anyhow.
can he set his teeth together an be
gan to kick agin. Well, sir, he ham
mered his heels agin that boiler-heaC
till he was black in the face, but she
never weakened, Then he'd stop an
take breath an swear, an then he'C
kick agin'. ''Well, sir, he KEEP that ul
fur half an hour, till he was as weak as
cat, an then he stopped an floppet
both ears forrard an cried like baby
Ben let i'm stan there little while, an
then he onhitched i'm an took i'm bacl
to the stable. The next day he hitcheC
i'm up to buggy, an he trotted of
without sayin' a word, an to-day he'
as decent an respectable a mule as they
is in the county. Ben's wife drives in
to town mos every day in fayton.