News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-03-23
An Improved Congressional Record.


suggestion made by Senator Miller that
the Congressional Record be issued as
a weekly and sent to every family in the
country, says Max Adeler, in our Con-
tineaat, some modification ought to be
made of the contents of the Record.
The paper is much too heavy and dis
NAL in its present condition to be well
coined in the ordinary American house
hold. Perhaps it might have puzzle
department, and if so one of the first
puzzles could take the shape of an in
quiry how it happens that so many Con-
gressmen get rich on five thousand dol
lars year. The department of Answers
| to Correspondents could be enriched
with references to letters from Office
! seekers, and the departpa ent of House
/ mold Economy coI1Id contain expiana-
tions of how the members frank their
shirts home through the post-office so
as to get them in the family wash. AS
for the general contents, describing the
business proceedings in the Senate and
the House, we recommend that these
should be put into the form of verse.
We should treat them, say, something
in this fashion
Mr.. Hill
introduced bill
To give John Smith pension.
Mr.. Bayard
Talked himself tired
But said nothing worthy of mention.
This would be succint, musical and in
degree impressive. The youngest
readers could grasp the meaning of it
and it could easily be committed to
memory Or a scene in the House
might be depicted in such terms as
these:
A very able speech was mad by Cox. Of Nm
nesota
Respecting the necessity of protecting the
black voter,
Twas Indignantly responded to by Smith, of
Alabama,
Whose abominatle talk was silenced by the
Speaker hammer.
Then Atkinson, of Kansas, rose to make an
explanation,
But was pulled down by colleague in a state
of indignation.
And Mr.. Alexander, in speech about insur-
ance,
Taxed the patience of his hearers pretty nearly
past endurance.
After which Judge Whitaker denounced the
reciprocity
Treaty with Hawaii as scandalous mon
strosity.
1t would be advisable, of course, to
vary the metre as much as possible in
order to prevent the monotony which
would otherwise dull the interest of the
reader.
After giving the proceedings in the
House as above, something of more
spirited nature perhaps could be in
serted into the Senate reports. Sup
pose, for example, the pages devoted to
the Senate should lead off with some
thing OF this kind:
Then up rose Smith, of Florida, the best of the
debaters,
And spoke about his measure for protecting
alIigators
regard for reason,
And asked to have it made crime to kill them
out OF season.
Then Brown he moved amendment by inserting
Compelling aligators not to operate their
Jaws
But Smith he up and said of him who thought
the subject eomical
And Brown, responding briefly, wished to say
in this connection
That Smith in guarding reptiles has an eye to
self-prOtection.
Then Smith he flung a volume of the Message |
and Reports,
And Brown was laid upon the floor a good deal
out of sorts.
Of course versiication of the Con- |
gressiOnaI Record would require the
services of a poet laureate of rather un-
usual powers. If Congress shall accep-
seriously the suggestions which we make
with an earnest desire to promote the
public interest, we shall venture to rec
ommend the selection of the Sweet
Singer of Michigan as the first occupant
of the laureate's office.