The Rock Island Argus., 1882-09-08
MIGHTY THIN.
What's the Use of Trying to be Good.
lFrom the Chicago cheek.l

A young married man from Bloomington
was up here last week buying his fall stock
| of groceries for his store, and during his
stay he stopped with friend who lives up
on Indiana avenue. Being in the city
| whole week he found it necessary to have
some washing done, and instead of carry
ing it down to Chinese opium den. he
spoke to his friend about it, and his friend
said that would be all right; to just leave
the clothes in the room, and he would
have his wife attend to the matter and
send them off with the family wash.
So the Bloomington man did this, and
the night before he started home he went
to Forepaugn's circus with his friend.
The circus was the only place they visited
that evening. as they didn't care to take
in the town." and both were as temperate
as the Lake Bluffs prohibitionists, yet for
all this wise preeaution as the thing turned
out, the Bloomington man might have Wis
tied every boozing den in the city, and
acted up all right just as do some rural
snoozers when they come to Chicago TO
buy dry goods, groceries-and other
things.
The Bloomington man had small
trunk in his room at his friends house, and
when his clothes came back from the laun
dry, his friends wife selected out his
underclothing and carried it up to his
room and laid it nicely away in the trunk
1t was rather late when the Bio omlngton
man and his friends got home from the
show, and the Bloomington man turned
the gas down very low and proceeded to
change his underclothing. after which he
dropped into bed and soon after, off into
sleep. When he arrived home the next day
his wife met him with every evidence
of affection, and it was not until along
toward ten o'clock in the evening when he
began to get ready for bed that the Chica-
go circus paled into absolute insignihcance
beside the gorgeous, and eye-bunglng
hippodrome of his own household. For
as soon as his wife caught sight of his un-
dershirt she commenced single ring
performance which eclipsed anything he
had seen yet, and ma lie him think that
it was time he separated from his wife
and went home to his father. He looked
at his guaze undershirt, and it soon be-
came evident to his dazed intelligence
that some horrible mistake had been made,
1t was gauzy enough. same as the one he
wore away to Chicago, but it looked very
much as though it had been cut over, and
fitted to some one carrying u little more
ena5onpoaat to the square inch than he did
He told his story just as fast as he could
bunch his words, and in a syllable now
and then, but all he could hear from his
wife was too thinl too thinii TOO THINiir'
and it did look little gauzy |
as he began to think himself, |
and the more he looked at the shirt the |
more gauzy it seemed to grow. 1t was the |
thinnest shirt he had ever worn, and his |
wife was dead sure it was the thinnest |
story she had ever listened to for man |
just back from Chicago to reel off to his |
wife.
And thus the matter stood until a letter |
came from the Chicago end of the line re-
questing the Immediate return of his |
friends wife's west" yet even now the |
Bloomington mans wife is preparing to |
come up here and visit the Chicago lady |
and find out if everything is on the square, |
or only put up job.