Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-11-03
f u N
Mrs. Spoopsndyke.


AND HER HUSBAND AS USUAL BE-
COMES CLUSTERED.
sob, dear!'' grunted Mrs. Spoopendyke.
IT am sure am going to die!'' and the
good woman Topped over in the bed and
contemplated her husband with pale face
and look of general debility. 'You will
be good to baby won't you, dear?"
sob, no.'' returned Mr.. Spoopendyke,
pounding her tenderly on the head with
his big hand. "You're all right. Bear up
against it and you'll be well in an hour or
two. have often had the cholera NOR
bus but you never see me give up like this.
Where's the ginger?'
81 don't know moaned Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. sLeok on the top shelf of the clos
ct. If it ism It there. try the bottom draw
er of the wardrobe; or it may be in the
pantry. OWL" and Mrs Spoopendyke
doubled up and Strengthened out with a jerk
'sYou cannot remember any other con
gressional district represented by that
ginger can you?" growlsd MI. Spoopen-
dyke, prowling around the room in an
aimless but energetic fashion. You
don't call to mind a couple or more roost-
ing places in which that ginger can be
found. Do you? Where bouts on the top
shelf" and Mr.. Spoopendyke ratified
around among the old bottles and empty
pill boxes. 'Look here! I have found
that court plaster wanted day before yes
terday!'' and more than gratifed with his
find Mr.. Spoopendyke utterly forgot the
original object of his search.
ssYou will send baby to good school,
and see that she marries happily, dear?"
groaned Mrs. Spoopendyke, adapting
woman's style Of limiting that the ginger
would be very acceptable. Sand you'll
bury me by mother!"
Certainly" replied Mr.. SpoopeEdyke
immersed in the contemplation of the
court plaster. ''Where is The sheet of
flesh color that was here?" he demanded
Il don't seem to detect the presence of
that particular element of adhesiveness.-
Where is the flesh colored portion OF this
curative?" and Mr.. Spoopendyke ran over
the little squares again in vain search
for the piece he missed.
ssDid you look in the wardrobe love?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke family.
sit is not herep' growled Mr.. Spoopen
dyke, raking over the contents of the draw
er, and turning them over with his foot
s.What-? Upon my word you are pref
ty woman! thought you said that old
razor strap of mine was lost when We
moved. Here it is as big as life and twice
as dirty. Glad fonnd the strap" num-
bled Mr.. Spoopendyke, Iubbing it tenderlJ
and blowing off the dust. Got piece of
cloth?o
.Oh, do look in the pantry! pleaded
Mrs. Spoopendyke. ST am sure it is in
the pantry.
Mr. Spoopendyke charged into the pan
try like column Of horses and hustled
around and bumped his head, but didn't
seem to meet with much success.
II did not see any, he muttered.-
ssDon't you know where you kept your
cloths! I supposed might stand around
here till doomsday, while the moths cor
rode and thieves do break into this razor
strap and steal the whole business, with
out finding piece of cloth to wipe it on.
Haven't you got an old skirt or some
thing?" And Mr.. Spoopendyke drew the
strap under his arm three or four times
and regarded it affectionately.
ooh please find the ginger!" squealed
Mrs. Spoopendyke as another spasm
caught her. 'Never mind your old strap!
Find the ginger!''
Amt I looking for it!'' retort ,s Mr.;
SpoopendYke. "Here is the cork. and
the bottle cam be very far off. When
find that bottle 1 will have clue to the
ginger, and I'm going to follow it to the
bitter end. You ought to save these corks
anyway when I 60 fishing. What kind OF
a looking bottle was it?"
ct was long and narrow" replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, almost in despair.
81 ought to find it from the description"
muttered Mr.. Spoopendyke.. Most bot
ties are perfectly round. Here Is the ar
MICA bottle upside down and l told you to
keep it filed. [ might knock my elbow
into next Presbyterian General Assembly.
and I'd have to wait all day before could
get drop of srnlca to soothe my anguish!
What's this straw hat of mine doing in
the bottle box anyhow? What particular
malady did this hat have That suggested
such disposition of it? And Mr.. Spoop-
Squinted with one eye while he stralghten-
ed the brim. That good hat yet. and
he put it on and regarded himself in the
glass. You wanted some ginger didn't
your" Where is it? Where did you put
it?''
Mrs. Spoopendike rose from the bed,
very pale but firm, and, stalking across
the room seized the bottle and founded
back into the bed with bump that show
ed that she was mad. There is nothing on
earth that will so express wonan's wrath
as that one dive among the Sheets
''Getting better AIM you?'' snorted Mr.
Spoopendyke. I told you that cholera
morbus didn't last long. Where's the razor
strap? What'd We do with the strap"
Mrs. Spoopendyke eyed him but made no
response.
s.Point out to me the.present address of
that strap! howled Mr.. Spoopendyke..
ssTake this finger and lay it tenderly on
The home and country of that strap !" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke whirled around like
grndstone and filled the air with bottles,
and boxes, and powders and pills, Come
out of the jungle and face me yelled Mr..
Spookendyke, apostrophizing the strap,
which he remembered of having in his
hand but few moments before. 'Show
me to the strap! Take the strap by the
ear and lead it before Spoopendyke in
proper persona and the enraged gentle |
man thrust his foot through the crown of
his hat and drew the wreck up to his hip. |
What is that stickin' out of your breast
pocket?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke sc-apin'
off external applications of an assortment
of drugs.
Uumph !" gfunted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
drawing out the strap. 'Found it, didn't
you Another time you let things alone
will ye? Made me spoil my straw hat with
your nonsense Another time you want
anything you just stand back and let me
search! Y understand"
Yes, DEAR murmured Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, and as her husband left the room she
took consoling swig at the ginger bottle.
and reflected that he hadn't enjoyed the
attack of cholera-morbus much more than
she had.- Brooklyn Eagle.