Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-12-28
Stories of Tom COrWjn.

Stories of Tom COrwin.
The late General Tom Corwin was
probably the greatest stump orator
Ohio ever produced, and his speech
IN the United States Senate on the
Mexican war is conceded to be one
of the finest efforts ever delivered in
the American Congress. His wit was
genuine and never>failing, and his
sarcasm was SO biting and whitening
that even his ablest opponents were
compelled to succumb. When his
term as Governor of Ohio had ex-
pred he remarked: 81 think have
been one of the best Governors this
State has ever had. I have pardoned
more criminals and signed more
notarial commissions than any of my
predecessors, and if this don't make
a good Governor, what does?"
Corwin was Quaker, and opposed
to war. At the beginning of the late
rebellion, he was approached by a
delegation of clergymen to enlist his
voice and influence in favor of the
North. The reverend gentlemen
labored earnestly with the great man,
but he gave no satisfactory response.
They demonstrated that it was a war
for the preservation of the flag and
the maintenance of civil rights, and,
as the most potent argument, the
parsons declared it to be Gods war.
Gentlemen" at last said Corwin,
with that peculiar, penetrating gaze
for which he was noted, ''do you
mean to tell me that the Almighty is
in charge of this bloody, this fratri,
cidsl war; that God is directing the
bullets which make wives widows and
children orphans?" EYES," replied all
with one voice. ''Then, th-e-n, said
Corwin, solemnly, II am opposed to
HIS administration
The innabitaets of the Western
Reserve of Ohio, or, as it is some-
times jocularly called, ''Cheesedom,"
are very peculiar sort of people.
There is, probably, no community in
the United States where the old
blue stocking laws and ideas of the
past are SO much respected or tenac,
iously observed. They are, withal,
sober, industrious, conscientious
body of men and women, but with
no more humor about them than a
hyena or an oyster. In their santi-
monious eyes any attempt at amuse-
ment or hilraity is worldly and
should be frowned down. This con-
dition of affairs was strictly true in
Tom Corwin's palmy days, even if
they have by the lapse of years be-
come little more "modernized."
Once Corwin was invited to deliver
a lecture at some point in the Re-
serve, probably at Oberlin. He had
heard of their quiet, demure temper
ments and antipathy to Jokes, and
he accepted with reluctance, for
humor was Toms strong point.
Well, he went at the appointed
time and began with the firm resolve
to bring smile to the countenances
of some, at least, of his hearers.
First he tried some of his common
place yarns, but they had not effect
whatever, and the hall was as still as
the house of death. Then he began
to bring out his old stand-bys, which
had never failed to move an audi~
ence, but again he failed, and the
| features of those before him were as
motionless as statues. At last this
great orator, having tried all his arts
in vain to produce one little laugh,
grew disguised and sat down. After
he had been seated five minutes a
lanter.jawed, slab-sided old fellow
with blue spectaeles, arose slowly
and in measured accents. pros
posed three cheers for Thos
Corwin for the nice address
with which he had favored his
brethren. In ten minutes thereafter
some one seemed to think favorably
of the proposition and seconded the
motion for three cheers for Thomas
Corwin.' The chairman gave his fel
low>citizens quarter of an hour to
consider the step they were about to
take and put the motion, which re-
celyed three affirmative votes, and as
the remainder of the large audience
were non -committal, and didn't say
may, the motion was declared car
ried, and Mr. Chairman said: ave
will now proceed to give the same.
The old fellow IN the corner shouted
out, sharply, 'Rah for Corwinl" the
man who seconded it squealed, "'Rah
for Thomas Corwin!" and an anti.
quated female in the front row, whose
face looked Ike the sharp end of 9
Ratchet, responded, 'sHurrah for Mr..
Corwini" and the great compliment
had been paid. After singing sold
Hundred" and a twenty~minute
prayer by brother the meeting dis
persed, and poor Cerwin quietly slid
off to his room at the hotel. He was
just getting into bed when he was
startled by loud knock at his door
who's therei" II want to see Mr.
Thomas Corwin." The door WAS