The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-30
The Man Who Cried.
B. Dadd. Norris,osn Herald

In the tirst place 1 wish the reader to understand that the following = tale IS none of my oan unfolding. IL belongs wholly and solely 10 my friend William Wacks. II is not sea taic. although t Is very watery. IL Is a tale of the 6riny. but no, of the deep. aiil lei sweet Wil- ham un'old i, in his own words. which are. as near as don forget them. as fol- lows:
 Y0u know commenced William you know hat the name of ;hs old cod gcr Sao Cried WAS Reuben W,llcr. and Ill his ncighbors called him the Weeping NIllcF for short because he va, the most leakN old vessel yau ever dld see. And you can bet that he never died natural death. but. Ike Mss \Iobc. oi whom you have read. JUS, melted AWAY III tears. Ills face was aiWaya as long as one oi Secretary Evarts sentences. and Nou would think there WAS :. funeral III his family every day n the WceS And funerals were bls sironEcs, hold. Reuben would travel ten miles sioo; io attend funeral and when the people. observed ketlb. sitting in d carnage uc.ar the rear oi the solemn eor- ,csc. thcl Would marvel much dna ask rhA ia. MAS mt at the hott. ot the pfe- ec,>tan. miaslsnS hls fcars wlth the inouf1eys Ter hc shed mere tears than .tli the moaFucr, contained. you knnN
 And Reuben : friends would dcCosi him the next day. and tender han then sym pathles. and ask hlin If that wds the lasi of hi> relations tkai Was consi Gned to the tomb yesterday: and then the Weeping Nlller,s l,tehrYnlstl gland would open anew and hc would norplus his friends by repls nS that hc did nu, knsw whose oofpsc Il w,ss. and that inc had never bur jed relation.
 There was a graveyard near Reuben house. where hc wouid while away his lci~9fe hours in tranquility and tears. He knew every cpllaph cut ef book lust as easy ..s hi> \ b S; and he would mean der around among these old mnss-sruwn graves. sircwing each mound with his tears ~a eopIousll. that you would infer thu, not only his fereialhcr>, but his iort- mothers. and orcgfandmothers, and all the rest ot his kindred were slumberlus there. 6ut they weren't. you know. his sort ot thing Reuben lndulsed Tn for some anc. wflcr' ,i.e stN;aR. ho :. :, ,tthers them in. came Ia the conclusion that tic Weeping Nllier was a perfect old nus anee. you know. for he lust went spilllns his tears among those aged monument, until the ground beeanc-se moist and damp that they could not preserve ,hcir equilibrium. and all the vegetation be- came rotten. se that the only vegetables you could have raised in that " city uf the dead. wcrc Salt oysters and dflcd. her rings
 keubcn N ller laughed or rather cried m hi> sleeve of dfoushis. There wa, never a dry spell within a quarter of ., mile of his premises And there was something gained in Reuben beng his own ralnstorms. too. for when the scgcta- blcs were placed on the table |, was found they were suih, iently seasoned. as far aS saliWa> concerned. And when he put up" hi> win,cr pork he did not go to the cx- pcnsc If purchasing nccessarics for piek hng. you know. but he would lu>i ,arrv until he set | good spell of cry on. and then he would 90 and mourn oxcr those dciunct porkcr> until a sufficient amount of pio kic was obtained.
 Now this eorl of thing had very damp enng cticc, on the Weeping Niller's fam ily which consisted of a wife. two sons. a daughter and a hired man and they tired various methods to dam this leak in the old mans laehrymal bas,n and thus prevent the constant flow oi the lmpid iiatd. you know and to thle end they of iercd a reward ot fifty doidi to ,,uy per son who succeeded drawing d laugh from Reuben. l, would be something new under the sun for his family ,o see d smile on the old gentleman face. and if they could only hear him indulge in a laugh they sad they would no, have lived in Nan. So. after hundreds mad failed. undertook the arduous task ot producing that laugh not for the indueemen held out in the paltry nf,N dollars. but tor the intense loNc bore the Weeping Niller'> family especially the daughter. whose name was .Angcline
 prepared my ammunition. and the nrst charge l iied aJ the old sinner head was a NaluMe of London Punch. and don't you think the weeping humbuS shed tears enough while l was reading ,ha, little hnnchback'S pages Ia wash eu, all the lekcs n the volume. which was quite supcrilaou>. for some of the lokcs were watcry enough to wash themselves out. YOU know and al each particular sde- splitting Jokc he would groan awiulls. and pull from his coat-,ail poCke, ! drH hand kcrchiet. w.ts hule discouraged a, this. although hadn't much faith ip the book. l gra>pcd this idea bcCAuSeSo many Amcnean journals won prin, loke unless 1t first appears m d London comio paper. But did l sr>e ;, up: No. didn't. employed lit,lc strategy. and under the pretcnse of leading the old floating palace ,o hear a funeral discourse. ;oek ham inio d Thcspi4n temple, where Fox was playing HumpN bempiy. because f there Was any laugh in the man l believed Fox could brlns il out.
 Under the impression that he was gong to listen to a panesNue on ,he dead. hls spirits revived l,,ie. became inter . ested in the pan,oplme. and the house became convulscd with laughter. und l forgot all abeu, the old Weeping Willer you know. until the vest buttons, which were now uoochet,ing about the room as fhtrt sfa.. l,,Aan1n8 f..,,f