The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-11-15
"De MOrtuls Nil Nlsi BOnum."

why snOulu We Say nOlnln0 DuJ
good of the dead" OF all the ignorant,
Silly and absurd maxims ever manu-
featured that one is the worst. Espe-
cially is it to be deprecated because II Is
apparently prompted by kind forgiv-
ing and generous spirit and is, there
fore calculated 10 appeal to the inno-
cent, the unthinkng aud the generous
minded. We will bet ducat that the
man who built that maxim was some
mean, smail-Soulcd scoundrcl who was
guilty of rascaliics that he wanted COW
cred up when he died.
We believe in throwing the mantle Of
charity over the dead. and when man
dies we do moi believe publishing to the
world all the frailties and eccenuicities
OF his character that resulted in placing
him, during life, in Jail or the Legisla.
ture. We do not believe that all lead
ing citizens after they die play on even
electro-platcd harps, and we cannot I'M
dcrstand that there is any sense in en-
pccting public journalists to pretend
they believe the deceased was man of
all-wool virtues, emitting him to do
/ rlOus Immortality beyond the sunset
glow, where his creditors will cease
from troubling and the weary tax col
| lcctor viii not break through and steal.
When some insignificant Alderman
dies, why should established custom de-
mand that the editor Of the local paper
should array himself in sackcloth and u
gum coat and write gorgeous obituary,
i'll which he tries 10 show that the alb
Sencc Of the deceased will leave the world
lop-Sidcd, while he knows that he does
not believe what he says. and that the
readers do not believe it, and even tho
deceased would not believe it. and
would blush 10 see it in type.
We can understand that it is Il sccmly
thing for the living 10 refrain from rak-
ing up old grievances regarding tho
dead, and letting bygoncS be bygoncS;
but il is entirely beyond our compre-
hcnsion why the living should pretend
10 see virtues in the dead that they
know the dead never possessed or had a
soul large enough to appreciate. II is
true, however, that
Custom does often reason override
And only serves for reason tn the fool
We recall circumstance that goes TO
prove what hollow sham obituaries
usually are. In the Office of the Daily
ArgHS one night there was brought in
news Of the death of local Justice OF
the Peace, named Schumcrhoil, The
managing editor told the local editor 10
give the remains gilt-edged send
ofl.n The local editor was u compare
tive stranger in the town and had never
heard of the deceased before. He
sharpcncd his pencil and began:
at is our painful duty to record the death
of our esteemed townsman, Judge Carl Schu.
mcrhO0. lie died this evening ut seven
o'clock, after II brief hut painful illness.
which he bore with Christian GOrttudc."
Then he turned 10 the night dispatch
editor and said "What kind OF an old
landmark was Schumcrhoil?"
"Old Schumcrhoil. why he was n
common, hard-listcd Dutchman; made
money by parSimonious economy and
usury-a regular monev-lending, two
percent. month Shylock; came here
from Germany years ago. There are
lots of people won't be bowed down
with grief when they hear he is gone
Then the local editor continued the
obituary
Judge SchlmcrhoH came from the Father
land when he was quite young. Although OF
| an old and prominent family in Germany ho
was poor hut by energy and enterprise, com
| hmcd with II liberal, progressive policy in bust
| ness. he umusscd u handsome competence. II
| can truly be- said of him that ne was tho
architect of his own fortune. such men are
scarce in these days, AMI the Judges place IN
| society and business relies Will not be easily
hllcL His death has cast gloom over the
| entire community"
"llad he familyP'
"Ycs, and he used TO bang his wife
around and pound her black and blue
until she got a divorce. but you need
not dwell on that point, you know, for
he was prominent citizen and well
connected"
"Thc deceased was nm excellent husband, q
! fond father and"
GLOW did you say his morals were''
Morals he didn't have any. He WAS
a regular old rip"
~ useful and exemplary member of society"
How was he politically"
"Wcll he used 10 be u red-hot Know
nothing, hut lately he was Green
hacker"
Although we have been obliged TO differ
| with him politically, yet we cannot let this OPP
| portunity pass without paying J st tribute
| iuhs sincerity. He was Il man OF simplicity
Of character and liberal ways IN political
matters"
Ibid he ever hold any oilice?'
"No; never was anything but Jus
ticc of the Peace. He was too unpopula
to be elected to anything, although h
was always running for something"
"And his many excellent qualities of hcN
md heart Gndcnrcd him to Nl who knew him
His modest and unassuming manner preyentc
him from taking thnt active part IN pltlcs, q
receiving the rewards of Office, that his merit
and ability deserved.
"Say, you might hint, in that obit
uary, that old Schumcrholf is having
warm reception il he has gone To wher
he deserves"
"While all that Is mortal Of Judge $. lies
tn cold embrace of death, ut his late residence
the immortal has gone to put on immortality /
better land, where there awaits him the n
wards of an upright man, Just Judge, ana
Christian citizen. After lifc's htful feVcr II
sleeps WELL.
And then old Schumerhoff had
pompous funeral, a gilded monumen
and a lying epitaph, all in keeping witt
the obituary the argus published
leras SittinQs.