The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-26
81 Haint Gwine Ter Do Hit.n

II Halnt GWlne Ter DO Ill.,"
A pony, that looked very much as lift
was far gone in consumption, was tied to
a lamp-post, and standing on the side
walk in front of Nose Schaumburg'S en-
porium, on Austin Avenue. The colored
porter came out, and seeing the pony
tied to the lamp post, and old Uncle Nose
leaning against it, said banteringly:
look heah, ole man, jess you onhitch
dat ar crowbait from often dat ar lamp
pos"
~ amt gwine ter do hit" said Uncle
Nose, sullenly.
"Why don't yer hire cart, " continued
the colored porter, and hab him moved
out inter de mesquite bushes whar de
buzzards kin hold convention on de
ole bag OBJ bones? Onto your boss, ole
man, hit am agin de law ter tie bosses
ter lamp POSSESSES"
81 haint gwine ter do hit, replied old
Nose.
'rll see about dat ar" responded the
colored porter, so he went in and told the
clerk, who came out, and said:
"Look here, uncle, you will have to
move that horse. He draws flies, and
besides, he may fall down on somebody
and break some customer in two. You
will be fined if you tie your horse to a
lamp post. Unhitch him right off"
81 haint gwine ter do hit"
"You ain t?-well, I'll show vou," SO
the clerk went in and told Nose Schaum-
burg himself, that sassy nigger had
tied his horse to the lamp post, and cash
customers were afraid of being kicked,
and were doing their trading at other
stores.
Schaumburg came out in his shirt
sleeves, with a yard-stick in his hand,
and said coaxingly to old Nose, with a
genial smile:
mine fren, we're you gets dot fine
FLOODED animalP wish you would do me
the favor to move him away mine door
pefore."
II haint gwine ter do hit"
81 dells you vat" urged Schaumburg,
'ven you dakes dot horse away right oil
some of desc fine days don't you forget
it, makes you splendid Christmas
present of a bair of nish new suspend
ers, by schimminy erasmus"
Il done tole yer, l haint gwine ter do
hit"
Then Schaumburg lost control of him
self. Before anybody could prevent
him, he ran his hand into his hip pocket.
Old Uncle Moses eyes began to stick
out, and his legs to wabble about, when
Schaumburg drew forth, not pistol, but
a police whistle, upon which he began to
improvse a lively tune.
About forty men, supposing fight
! frDippr ,Nn11,.aH nnt # nniCrb hD,.
ing saloon, like bees out of hive. The
gentlemen who sit in front of the Bruins
wick hotel, and squirt tobacco juice on
the sidewalk, went on the doublequick
to where Schaumburg was still engaged
on his solo. There were men in the
crowd with towels about their necks
and lather on one side of their faces.
Upwards of two hundred excited men
were gathered around Schaumburg and
Uncle Nose, the former still playing on
his wind instrument, while the sly old
niger was holding his hand to his ear,
and his head on one side, as if Schaum-
burg intended the musical performance
for the special amusement of the aged
African. Everybody in town, except
the police, seemed to be there, and every
rible crime.
Finally two policemen in uniform
pushed their way through the crowd,
and with drawn revolvers wanted to
know what was the cause of the riot.
Schaumburg brought his concert to a
close, and pointing to Uncle Nose, said
"He Won't dake his old horse from dot
lamp post away"
81 haint gwine ter do hit,'' said Uncle
Nose, solemnly.
"Uncle Nose, why don't you unite
that horse and lead him OFF," asked a
friendly voice in the crowd.
because dat ar boss don't belong ter
me. | hain't gwine ter ontie and lead
off boss l nebber seed before. Use
seed too many men in Texas tied up so
dar feet didn't reach the ground for
foolin' wild horses what didn't belong to
'em.n
There was roar from the crowd.
"Why didn't you say before that it
wasn't your horse?" asked the indignant
policeman.
"Bekase nobody asked me-"
The crowd began to dispense good
humoredly, Notwithstanding the voice of
Schaumburg could be heard several
blocks off, like the voice of one crying in
the wilderness: "Schentlemens, don't
tear yourselves away. Choost walk right
in and inspect my new stock of schentle-
manly underwear, shoes, boots, hats,
which vas being given away to make
room for new goots. "-IeraS SifttngS.