Daily Los Angeles herald., 1882-05-28
FUN, FACT AND FANCY.

ssThe Unseen Hand" is the title of a
new book. Probably the other man
didn't have anything better than pair
Of trays and didn't dare to call.
"Yes,n said he, '1'm refraining from
hard work and trying to get fat and my
flesh tender. There's nothing mean
about me, and if I'm going TO go as a
missionary to the Pacific Islanders, /
want to do them all the good can.
eyes," said the milkman, she's fit to
go to the Legislature. When he drove
cart for me he used to swindle my Gus
toners out of S. a day and divide with
me, and if he does as well by the town,
he'll be a mighty valuable representa-
tive."
The heirs of Longfellow pledged them
selves to carry out the plain intent of
his will, regardless of legal formalities.
IF the precedent should become general,
many lawyers would be beggars, and
volumes of family scandal would be sup
pressed.
In the near future the Chicago Tri-
6uns expects to see something like this
given to the public from the State De
partment: Frelinghuysen to Trescott:
ssYour telegraph bills have bankrupted
the Government. Swim home as soon
as possible"
The late Thomas Hood, driving in the
country one day, observed notice be-
side a fence, "Beware the dog" There
not being any signs of the dog, Hood
wrote on the board, 'Ware be the dog?"
And because Hood did that il was con-
sidered funny. At least there appears
to be no other reason for its being so
considered.
Quotation from the Topeka Capital.
1.-THE Commonwealth, with its accustom-
ed low and crawling disregard for
journalistic decency, takes occasion to
single out the editor of the Capital by
name, for invidious mention in connec-
tion with this matter" Murat Halstead
couldn't do any better by Deacon Rich
ard Smith than that.
The will of Miss Burr, of New York,
which bequeaths $4,000, 900 to charita-
BILE institutions, is to be contested by ten
second cousins, on the ground that she
was not competent to make a will. Sin
gular as it may seem, the charitable in
stitutions think Miss Burr was woman
of remarkably vigorous intellect. People
do see things SO differently!
Tradesman Ito the country customer,
who has come to complain of the quality
of his lucifer matches s)-''Not light
Why, have only to draw them smartly
across my corduroy breeches and they
blaze instantly" Customer "Yes, but
what's that to me? l can't come mat
ter O. four miles for your old breeches
every tim We want light
Newark policemen have got the alb
surd notion that they're expected to ar
rest somebody, occasionally, so last Sun
day night they ran in lot of Spiritual
lists who were having fun with some
ghosts. They expected to be applauded
for their vigilance, but the Judge told
'em the spiritualists had q right to play
with ghosts, all they wanted to, so long
as they didn't disturb other folks, and
he reprimanded the policemen, who felt
dreadfully discouraged and won't make
any more arrests, right away.
When DR.. Johnson had completed his
dictionary, Millar, the book seller, and
principal proprietor of the work, could
not help expressing his joy upon the
occasion in terms somewhat intemperate,
as appears by the following aclSnowl-
edgement of the receipt of the last sheet
of the manuscript: "Andrew Millar
sends his compliments to Mr.. Samuel
johnson, with the money for the last
sheet of the copy of the dictionary, and
thanks God that he is done with him. "
To which johnson returns this good
natured answer: Samuel johnson re-
turns his compliments to Andrew Millar,
and is very glad to find as he does by
the note, that Andrew Millar has the
grace to thank God for anything"