davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1t has been ungallantly said that the
telephone does what society rules have
always been unequal to-cOmpels
women who use it to talk one at a
time.
Yesterday we saw 4 man with a
black eye, a skun nose and arm in a
sling. He had a revolver and wanted
to know who invented hammocks.-
Boston Post.
What is the difference between
freight and cargo? n horse-car con-
ductor says the pa: sengers make the
freight and the horses make the car
60
When a man kums to me for advice
find out the kind Of advice he wants
and / give it to him; this satisfys him
that he and I are two az smart men az
there is living-Josh Billings.
a s%ad-hearted poetess asks in the
columns Of the Philadelphia Bulletin:
"Why dc we sing" Perhaps it's be-
cause you don't know what the public
feeling is in your immediate neigllbor-
hood.
When Hood wrote "There is a happi-
ness that makes the heart afraid" he
was probably thinking of one evening
when he sat up very late with his girl
and did not know what minute the old
man might come humping downstairs
In some of the mountainous sections
Of Pennsylvania real estate has taken
a sudden downward tendency. About
two hundred acres slid down into the
valley the other day. 1t will be some
time before it goes up to its former
height.-Siftings.
An easy time of til don't want
any mans advice" said the man with
the hig bump of self-esteem. 81 dc
my own thinking" EYES" muir.
INJURED Fogg, 81 should think YOU
might and not be greatly overworked
either."-Boston Transcript.
The title of the lesson was: "The
Rich Yong Man," and the golden text
was: Zone thing thou lackest." y
teacher in tho primary class'askcd d
little tot to repeat the two, and looking
earnestly into the young lady's face
the child said: Zone thing thou lack.
cst-a rich young man.
"Whcre are you going, anyhow?'
asked an irate conductor on the Central
Pacific the other day to a cheat
whom he had kicked off five or six
times, but who always managed to get
on again just as the train started,
WELL" said the fellow, quietly, "I'm
going to Chicago, if my pants hold
out."--Chicugo Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
Report of the Commissioner Of Pen
SiOnS.

The ANIMAL report of w. W. Dudley, COM
missioner of pensions, shows that at the
close of the fiscal year ended June 30, 1882,
1S5,G95 pensioners had been classified, as
follows: .oo
Army invalids. 1850
Army widows, minor children and
dependent relatives. 'o'dd3
NV ;nvolids 2,31
Nay :,,. Mani r.lntives. 1853
SURVEYORS of the war of 1S12......... 7,134
Widows of those WHO served in the
war of 1872 2f'ool
The names of 9 1861 new pensioners were
added to the rolls during the year, and the
names of GAO whose pensions had previously
been dropped were restored, making an nS-
prcrate Increase TO the rolls of 2S,3l3. The
name of l1,4tG pensioners were dropped
from the rolls for various causes, leaving u
net increase for the year of lG,SG1 pension
crs. At the close OF the year the pension
raid to each p%cnSioner averaged SlO2.lo, anu
the aggregate annual value of tho whole roll
was S29.:3il ,10l. 81. The report says:
1.-The annual payment of pensions exceeds
the annual value by several millions of dol
larS--that is TO say, tho total amount PAID Tor
pensions during the year, exclusive OF the
arrears due in such pensions as were allowed
prior to January %, 1879, was S53,924,5 66' ~;
the difference between this sum and the an
nual value being the arrears due III new PEN
sions computed from tine date of discharge
in the case Of an invalid soldier, and from
the death of the soldier where pension was
allowed TO the widow or Others"
The amount paid during the year upon
first payments to new pensioners was S2d,-
42l. GG9. This amount was paid to 27,1U3 pen
sioaerS.
The report gives in detail the operations
of the bureau covering the period since 1871.
the tables being arranged by years for tho
purpose of ready comparison. table has
also been prepared which shows the number
of pension claims filed and allowed since 1861
and the disbursements on account of PEN
sions since 1862. This table shows that tho
total number of claims filed during the Pc
Rod mentioned was S37,3G1; the total num-
Der allowed, 472.7 nc and the aggregate dis
burscments made, $5GO,G41 ,32i.M. Included
in this amount is the sum of S225,2 34 232. IS
paid TO pensioners for and OH account of
service rendered during the war of 1872.
Another table shows that there are gU,9G6
claims for pensions now pending, and 75,2Go
on the rejected files of the Office. This e1-
hibit also shows that there were 75,0S7 claims
filed during the last fiscal year. The special
examination system substituted by Congress
at the suggestion of the commissioner for
the Especial service" is said to be giving
great satisfaction. On this subject the COM
missioner says:
This new system does away with the e1
parte evidence formerly in use, so that the
claimant is now afforded the opportunity to
face the witnesses and to appear in person or
by counsel in the examination of his case.
The expenses incurred in this service dur
ing the year amounted to SSS, 275.23, while
the gross saving to the government resulting
from the adoption of this system was about
SE4G 1S3.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

perhaps she has gone homc,'
Clarke suggested.
did she mention such a possibility
to YOU" Mr.. Merrivale inquired.
"IIang it all, Jack! Haven't l said
that she didn't tell Inc anything:'
Clarke replied. And is it possible
that you think l could keep anything
l might know from you at such time
us this? Upon my word, you must
think | have suddenly developed into
a~villain"
eff Mildred had seen fit to throw a
little light on the suhjcct,' MIR. Mcr-
rivalc remarked, entirely ignoring his
companions earnest disclaimer, cit
would have simplilied things consid'
erably; but women are as destitute OF
business capabilities us they are of
logic. l should not have put a straw
in her way if she had told me she
wanted to leave me-"
What use to talk to a man who had
so fully made up his mind?
Clarke once more asked to be allowed
to assist in the search, and was again
refused, and quite as peremptorlly as
before.
There was one chance in n hun
dred, Mr.. M%crrivale told himself, that
his wife might have met with an ac-
cidcnt or been the victim of foul play,
and on this chance he must work.
The fact was John Merrivalc cared
too much for the opinion of the world
not to do his part toward discovering
the whereabouts of his wife, but there
was a look in the mans face which
once seen could scarcely be forgotten.
Clarke Denning saw it, and Won
dered could it BE- possible that he had
loved his wife and was really sorrow
ing for his loss?
Sometimes there seemed little doubt
of it, and then again Il few satirical
words pointed as plainly to another
conclusion.
Clarke made several attempts to get
away, but each time his determination
had been overruled.
One day, about two months aftc
Mrs. Merrivale's flight, he broachcd
the subject again.
eff | were of the slightest use to
you," he told his companion-"but |
am not, and l really think l must go,
Jack"
You are of use to me-" Mr.. Merri-
vale replied.
you are very good to say so, but l
don't see it," Clarke responded.
Upon my word, jack" he added, with
considerable feeling, Il would give
several years of my life ii l could do
something for you, but you have tied
me up so that l don't feel at liberty to
say my souls my own"
Mr.. Merrivale smiled, but made no
answer, and Clarke gave up once more
his intention of leaving in obedienceto
the superior will.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Alfred Krupp's gun business at
Essen, Germany, is the wonder of the
world, It's the statistics will show that
it ought to he. The population of the
Essen works is Is, 900, and the number
of boilers and engines is as follows
l29 boilers, 45:} steam engines, with Il
horse power of 1890; 81 steam ham
mrrs, and 1856 furnaces, of which
fourteen are high furnaces. producing
100000 tons of steel and 10000 tons Of
iron yearly.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
Female Stock SnrCuIaf0rs.

A New York correspondent, writing
up the city'S female stock brokers,
says: Men are not allowed to enter, for
very good reasons. Women who deal
in stocks as a rule do it surrcptitiouSly
and they consequently wish to have as
much privacy as possible. AS Il rule
they buy on margins, as this requires
Il smaller amount Of money than to
buy the stocks out and out. | have
heard of women who became so fas-
cin;tcd with speculation-why should
they not when men do?-that they i'll
vested every dollar they could get.
Thry deny themselves necessary
things that they may have money for
investment, and some women 90 so far
as to carry on Il system Of pilfcring-
that is, they extract small sums of
money from their husbands pockets.
There are several women who have
been successful in stock spcculationS,
and who are well-known figures in
Wall street. One OF these is Mrs.
Parncll, the mother of the Irish agi-
tator. She goes downtown every day,
carrying a hand s~atrlirl, and does not
return to her lodgings until business
hours are over. Her dress makes her
somewhat conspicuous, rs she is very
fond of color, particularly green, be-
cause it is the national color of Ireland,
probably. She has bought and sold
stocks for years, and has made money.
But the most successful female SprcIt-
latur is Grace Courtl;mI. She has
made Il fortune, and is as radiant in
diamonds when dressed for Il reception
as Il popular prima donna. But most
women who engage in speculation are
not successful, and some Of them are
not able to sustain their losses without
tears.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

You will be not sorry for hearing be-
fore Judging, for thinking before speak
ing, for holding an angry tongue, for
stopping the Il Of a tale bearer, for
disbclieving most of the i'll reports, for
being kind to the distressed, for being
patient toward everybody, for doing
good toward all men, for asking pardon
for all wrongs, for speaking evil of no
one, for being courteous to all.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
"It is not Yesterday
(TnE ANSWER OF A CHILD.)

(TnE ANSWER OF A CHILD.)
I Poor red flower of a mouth, you culver so =
What is the matter? Tell me-if you know.
Why don't you laugh out in your own one
way?
"Because-because it is not yesterday"
I know, l know. Oh, yesterday was sweet.
It laid its one blue blossom at your feet.
1t let you see that gracious old man pass,
Leading his COW to find the glad first grass.
To-day is dark, dark, dark. Somewhere l see
Quick lightning, and the sleet is Oh the tree
Where the bird, futtering, thought about a
r. nest.
And so you cry. Well, sometimes tears are
best.
I do not know but I could hide my face
Deep in my arm, if but had you grace,
And shed more tears than you can count,
Isay,
Because, ah me, it is not yesterday!
IS. ". B. Piatt, in the Century.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

The Kansas City Times reports that
its hookkccp"r suffered very severely.
and for Il long time, with rheumatism.
He tried st. Jacobs Oil and was cured
by one bottle of it.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

The metropolitan board of works in
London controls an area of l22 square
miles, covered by population OF
nearly 100000. The royal parks
cover l,742 acres and other open
spaces 1876 acres.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

The figures given of the losses by
tie strikes this sunmcr are large.
The loss to employees is estimated at
S6,000,000; to employers, sl2,OOO,OOO;
and to the general public, $3O,OOO,O00
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

william J. Coushlin. Of Somerville, Mass, says:
In the fall of 1876, l was taken with BLEEDING OF
THE LUNGS, followed By a severe cough. I lost my
appetite and flesh, and was confined to my bed. II
1877 I was admitted to the Hospital. The doctor:
said had a hole in my lung rs big as q half dollar
At one time 4 report went around that I Was dead,
cave up hore, but q friend told me Of DIR. WILL
LIAM HALLS EALSAM o THE LUNGS.
got a bottle, when to my surprise, I commenced tc
feel better, and to-day feel better than for three
years past.
BAKERS PAIN PANACEA cures pain in Nan o.
Beast. For use externally or internally.
20 Cents will buy n Treatise upon tic
Horse and his Diseases. Book Of LOO pages. Valuable
10 oyery owner of horses. Postage stamps taken. Sent
postpaid by NEW YORK NEWSPAPER UNION.
$50 Worth street. New York.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Pretty new ballad by the HOUSE"
Keeper. Dedicated to the grocer: "T;lkt
Back the Flour"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

The Ithaca N. " HhncGn Observes:
Our druggists report that st. Jacobs
Oil gocs off like hot cakes.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

20 LCntg VIII Buy
a Treatise upon the Horse and his Diseases.
Book Of 100 pages. Valuable to every owner
of horses. Postage stamps taken. Sent
postpaid by New York Newspaper Uuion, 1O
Worth Street, New York.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

DAlhTlhf " ~ WHIT v Io0v.
H. II. WARNER & Co.: SirS-By kidney dis
ease I was reduced to a walking skeleton.
Against the advice of friends ! took your Safe
Kidney and Liver Cure, and to-day I am as
we'll AZ ever, E. M. SHERwN.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

MOSES McLANE, @ colored mar of McMul
len county, Texas, has made $4,000 since
the war in raising cattle.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Weak lungs, splitting of blood, consump-
ton and kindred affections cured without
physician. Address for treatise, with two
stamps, WORLDS DIspENsARY MEDICAL Asso-
CITATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Nincty-nine locomotives and ll,G0l
car wheels were exported from the
United States last year. During the
same period there were exported
2,164,648 pounds of iron rails.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Ladies', send 25c. to Strawbridge& Clothier,
Sth and Market sts., Philadelphia, and receive
their Fashion Quarterly for six months. New
music and 900 engraWngs il each number.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

When a passenger boards the train
what Is the bill Of fareP
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

DR.. R. v. Pierce's "Goldon Medical Dis
~covery' cures every kind of humor, from the
common pimple or eruption to the worst
scrofula.
Four to six bottles cure salt rheum or tet-
ter. 1885,.
One to five bottles cure the worst kind OF
pimples on tho face.
Two to four bottles clear the system OF
boils, %carbuncles and sores.
Five to eight bottles cure corrupt or run
ming ulcers and the worst scrofula.
BY druggists, and in Ealf-dozeu and dozen
lots at great discount,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Is the best in the market. 1t is the most
economical and cheapest, one box lasting as
long as two of any other. One greasing will
last two weeks. 1t received first premium at
the Centennial and Paris Expeditions, also
medals at various State fairs. Buy no other.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
"AgnInst the Advice of ~Friends.n

In digging a we'll in Pierce county, Neb.,
the trunk of a large tree was struck at q
deDth of fifty-six feet.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
2l Cent. Will Blu

Pain, Irritation, Retention, Incontinence,
Deposits, Gravel, ETC., cured by "Buchupai.
ba." Send for pamphlet to E. s. WELLS,
Jersey CITY, N. J..
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
The Frazer Axle Grease

COMMON sense does not ask an impossible
che Gsboard, but takes the one before it anG
plays the mama.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

A BOY died in Carthage, Jefferson county,
N. Y, from the effects of e bee sting on the
hand.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

JOHN SHEA, who was once worth Sl5,UO,-
OOO, now lives in comparative poverty IN q
rude cottage near Soda Springs, Cal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Is unfailing and infslH.
BILE in curing Epileptio
Fits, Spasms, Con7ul'
sions, St. Vitus Dance.
Alcoholism, Opium Eat,
ing, Scrofuln and all
Nervous and Blood Dis
eases. To Clergymen,
Lawyers, Literary Men,
Merchants, Bankers,
Ladies and all whose
seGentary employment
causes Nervous Prostrac
ton, Irregularities OF
the blood, stomach,
bowels or Kidneys, or
who require \ nerve
tonic, appetizer or
stimulant. SAMARI.
TAN NEnVINE Is In.
valuable. Thousands
proclaim it the most
wonderful ~Inyigorant
that ever sustained tho
sinking system. For
sale by all Druggists.
CO.,
-l.s M
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

PURE coD-L1vER OIL, from selected livers,
on the seashore, by Caswell, Hazard Co., N.
have once taken it prefer it to all others.
Physicians declare itsuperior to all other oils.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25

Solid men admire the beautiful, and this
accounts in some measure for the thousands
upon thousands of bottles of Carboline, the
deodorized petroleum hair remover and dress
ing, which have been sold yearly,
The Science of Life or Self PreserYation, 9
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
England has statistics showing that
out of 139,143 of her people engaged
in literary pursuits only twelve be-
came lnnaticS.
"a Drop of Joy In Every WOrd."

DR.. R. V. PIERCE, Buffalo, N. Y: Three
months ago l was broken out with large Ill
GERS and sores on my body, limbs and face:
I procured your Golden Medical Discovery"
and "Purgative Pellets'' and have taken si1
bottles, and to-day I I'm in good health, all
those ugly ulcers having healed and left my
skin in q natural, healthy condition. J
thought at one time that could not be cured
Although I can but poorly express my. graft
tude to you, yet there is a drop of Joy II
every word l write. Yours truly,
JAMES O. BELLS, Pennington, n. D..
discovery" sold by druggists.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
Kidney Disease

skin cured by using Juniper Tar Soap, mad.
by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
RESCUED FROM DEATH.

medical work for every man-young, middl
aged or old. 125 invaluable prescriptions.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1882-10-25
e. PINKHAM,S

viii eradicate every yestige OF Humors from II
Blood, at the same time will givo tone and strength :
Tie ,stnm. AamarYellouSin results aa tho COmp0Qol
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-08-22
A rIENDTSH PLOT.
Discovery OF Conspiracy Among Negroes IN
Alabama to Murder All the Whites In
Choctnw County-Arrest OF RiDgisaders
One of Them Hung.

MOBILE, August 2l.-In Choctaw county.
Ala, Tuesday, the 18th instant, a bundle OF
papers disclosing a well-organized plot
among negroes to kill the entire white
population OF that county was found near
one OF their rendezvous by two gentlemen.
The matter was laid before the Solicitor.
On Wednesday the 18th quiet meeting
OF citizens Of Mount Sterling and Butler
was called at Butler to consider the best
mode o; suppressing the intended out
break and massacre. After discussion il
was agreed that the following ringleaders,
Jack Turner, j. ID. Barney, Jesse Wilson.
Peter Hill, Willis Lyman, Aaron Scott,
and Range West, to whom had been
assigned the duty OF leading squads TO
Butler, Mt. Sterling. and Desotoyille, and
other places, and killing all the whites at
each place. should he arrested and lodged
in Jail. Their arrest was effected on Thurs
day the 18th without disturbance or blood
shed. The same day n maSs-meeting OF
citizens Of all classes was called for Satur-
day to decide the fate Of the prisoners.
The plot has been in existence since 1873.
and the conSpirators now number 400.
They have powder, shot, and guns. They
think themselves sufficiently strong To
accomplish their iicndish design. sunday
night the l'tn OF september hau ucch
appointed as the date for lis contamination.
The papers further showed that this day
was selected because then the white people
would he at a camp-meeting unarmed, and
could then offer no resistance. The meet
ing called for Saturday brought together
about 700. among whom were about 100
negroes. who. after having the papers read,
by an almost unanimous vote decided that
Jack Turner was turbulent aud danger
Gus character and regular iirebrand in the
community, and that the public safety de-
mandcd his immediate death. lie was nc
cordingly hung about l:lj j. u. in the
presence of the assembled multitude. The
crowd dispersed and all signs Of disturb
ance ceased. Everything was quiet Satur-
day night The other prisoners are still III
jail 10 await further developments.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-08-22
r,,. c,u.rers Nv Punched Coin.

When the Government refused 10 "'0'p
punched silver coins filed with base iilc.ai
there was great cutlery from inc PeopntI,
mutilated coins by weight, the figures snow
that the business Of drilling out large guam
title of silver, from the dollars particular
". has grown TO very large extent, ana
could only be stopped. by such an order
from the Government as would MAKE 1n ao
debased coins uncurrcnt. Alreaoi 4,Vv ~,
onncee have been redeemed and paid Tor,
and the business Of the professionals has
been narrowed down until only three sc
mntilation. The liquor saloons and the
beer brewers are naturally at the mead .; o.
the list. but ii is lad to learn TIA. nv. -
order are the churches. the au.hor,.ie,
state that a great deal Of silver that cann Z.
be passed IN any other manner finds III
way into the church contribution-pia'e'-
EIchdn1e.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-08-22

were In ignorance about the cause Of the
halt In the case. The prisoner was visited
in jail by his venerable mother and by one
OF bis sisters, also by some OF his lady rela-
tives or connections Of this village. Par
ties recently returned from Oxford, y. c.,
report that Miss Hatchett has written Mrs.
Addison, the mother Of deceased, letter
OF coincidence, and that after the trial Miss
IIatchett will return here to "bury herself
alive"
Miss Hatchett has heretofore been teacher
in public school in this county, but it is
not supposed she will have it again.
A number OF ladies visited the court
room yesterday and Clipped pieces from
the hickory tree behind which ii Is alleged
Addison retreated after having been shot
to preserve as mementoes OF the tragedy.
Applications for the tree have been made
to Judge Perry by several persons, their
object being TO convert it into canes to be
offered for sale.
A lady who recently arrived here from
Granville county, in North Carolina, where
Miss Mamie lIatchett is now residing, says
Miss Iatchett positively denies having
ever been engaged to Addison. or having
ever sent Garland the lengthy epistlc he
claims to have received
FLOWERS.
A handsome bouquet was received this
morning by Garland, accompanied by the
following note:
Accept these flowers as a token OF my
sympathy and admiration in your manly
struggle for honor. justice. and right.
Mrs. /. d. JONES, Green Bay, Va.
The lady sending the flowers is unknown
to Garland.