davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25

Grafton intended Immediately and prin-
cipally for the attainment of another
object which is moral perfection OF
virtue.
Observe the tradesman who has
made his fortune Gas the phrase isl and
retired from business, or the opulent
proprietor enjoying his digpided leis.
ure. How he tolls ut the task of doing
nothing, as a ship without ballast at
sea, when it falls calm after heavy
blow, labors more without stirring an
inch than in going ten knots in an hour
with good breeze. How he "groans
and sweats," as Shakspere has it under
a happy life How he cons over at
night, for the third time, the newspaper
which he read through twice from be-
ginning to end, Immediately after
breakfast But this is not the worst.
No sooner does he find himself in the
state of unoccupied blessedness, than
host of unwished for visitants enter
on his premises, and declare his body a
good prize. Dyspepsia "a good name
of horror plucks from his lips that I'M
tasted morsel, and the trimming bowl
bedtmes his eyes, unatural blindness,
aud powder his locks with premature
old age. Hypochondria ploughs his
cheeks with burrows, and heaps per-
petual cloud upon his brow. Gout
g apples him by the great toe; SO that
what with black spirits and white; blue
spirits and gray, the poor man suffers
martyrdom in every nerve and fibre.
His Elysium is much like that of the
departed Grecian heroes in the" Odysse,"
who franz ly avowede to Ulysses that
they would rather be the meanest day
laborers above ground than reign SUI
preme over all the shades below. .
There are two distinct ways. by.which
we may hope to be happy. We may
either diminish or, wants our aug
ment our means; either will we do
the result is the same; and it is for
each to decide for himself, and do that
which may happen to be the easiest.
If you are idle, sick, or poor, however
hard it may be to diminish your wants,
it will be easier than to augment your
means. If you are active, and prosper
GUS, young, or in good health, it may
be easier for you to augment your
wants. But if you are wise, you will
do both at the same time, young or old,
sick or well rich or poor; and If you are
very wise, you will do both in such a
way as to augment the general happi-
ness of society; for, after all, the real
art of being happy is to endeavor to
make other people happy.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
WIT AND WIsDOM.

AUNr-"Has any one been at these
preserves" Dead silence. "Have
you touched them, Jimmy?" Jimmy,
with the utmost deliberation-"Pa
never lows me to talk at dinner"
A NEBRASKA woman missed her hus-
band for three weeks before she raised
any row about it, and she might not
have told anything then if his boots
had not been drawn up in a well
bucket.-FTee Press
A FLORIDA Indian having bought
sewing machine and watched its work.
ings carefully kicked his wife out OF
doors, with the remark, "Need squaw
no more?" A civilized white man feels
like kicking the sewing machine agent
out of doors.-NelO HdUe11 Register.
INTELLIGENT" said the butcher;
"that dorg O. mine was the most intel
ligent critter that ever travelled on four
feet. Why, when he committed suicide
he did it by jumping into the sausage
machine. so as to save me all the work
he could. "-BostO1l Post.
"Do you pretend to have as good
judgement as / have?" exclaimed an
enraged wife 10 her husband. We'll,
no." he replied slowly; "our choice OF
partners for life shows that my Judge.
ment is not to be compared with yours"
Boston Transcript.
TWAS a sultry and muggy day, but
the agent, wiping the perspiration from
his low, but somewhat manly brow, and,
throwing his linen duster back, began:
Madam, is your husband about?"
@Yes, he's about; but l tend to all
agents that show themselves about here.
What is it2" I'm introducing thresh-
ing machine in this neighborhood,
and" Not in this Deighborhood, you
amt il 1 know it. I'm competent to
do all the thrashiDg that's needed on
this farm. You ask my boys, Bill and
Sam, and IL you don't believe them, ask
nv man Just over in the lot there, and
a slight advance that she made in his
direction suggested to him that he had
better move on before she tried her
power on him
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
Wimmin's Rights.

T send you the following speech, de-
livered at recent woman's rights con.
vention, by one of thehonorsble women
thereof. As it has the true ring of
womanly manliness, I request it to be
circulated for the benefit of our down
trodden sex. Yours truly,
AMARINTHY JERUsH.
Miss President, teller wimmin and
male trash generally: am here to
day for the purpose of discussin VIM
Minis rights, re-cussing her wrongs and
cussing the men.
T believe the sexes were created per-
fectly equal, with the women little
more equal than men.
I also believe that the world to-day
would have been happier if man never
existed.
!, AS a success man is failure, and L
bless my stars that my mother was
woman. Applause.
I not only maintain the prlnc!p!es'
but maintain shiftless husband be-
sides.
They say that man was created first.
Well, 'spose he was. Amt first exper-
iments always failures? 49,,
IfIwas a betting man, I would bet
$3.50 they are. ;.
The only decent thing about him
was rib, and that went to make some
thing better. Applause.
And then they throw into our faces
about taking an apple. I'll bet five dol,
lars Adam boosted her up the tree and
only gave her the core.
And what did he do when he was
found out? True to his masculine IN
stincts, he sneaked behind Ewes Gre
clan bend, and said: "Twasn't me ;
twas her," and the woman has had to
father everything mean and mother 1t
too.
What we want is ballot, and the bal
lot we are bound to have, If we have to
let down our back hair and swim IN a
sea of sanguinary gore! Sensation
ARKANSAS Gazette,
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
She Fetched Him.

Women sometimes have great pres
ence of mind. A iailor's wife saw that
a prisoner had got between her hus'
bad and the unlocked door and was
Going for it like scotch terrier for a
rat-hole. She knew she hadn't the
strength to seize and hold him, and
besides he had knife; so she didn't
try. But she stepped into side corrl-
dor near the head of the flight OF stairs
the prisoner had to descend, yanked oil
her hoop skirt, and as he passed, flung
II before him. The way he turne d
hand springs and summer-saults dow n
those stairs was caution to cats, an o
his frantic struggles after he reached
the bottom would have attracted tolks
from dog fight. When the iailor came
M TO 4he fellow he had got himself
SO tangled that he was absolutely help
less: was doubled up in terrible un-
comfortable way and was choking to
death. and so completely wound up that
the taller had to cut him out with a
Ratchet. and it took half yard OF court
plaster and a pint of arRicA to BRING
him out.-EC.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
A Mississippi Pilots Story.

The passenger, who was going down
the big river for the first time in his
life, secured permission to climb up
beside tho pilot, grim old grayback,
who never told lie in his life.
"Many alligators in the river?" in
quired the stranger after a look around.
Not so many now, since they got to
shootin' 'em for their hides and taller, u
was the reply.
used to be lots, eh?"
81 don't want to tell you about 'em,
stranger" replied the pilot, signing
heavily.
"Why?"
"Cause you'd think I was a-lyin' to
you, and that's somethin I never do.
I can cheat at keerds, drink whisky or
chew poor terbacker, but / can't lie,"
"Then there used to be lots of en- ?"
enquired the passenger.
"I'm most afraid to tell ye, mister,
but I've counted 'leven hundred ally
gators to the mile from Vicksburg cl'ar
down to New Orleans. That was years
ago, afore shot was ever fred at EN-"
"Well, don't doubt it, replied the
stranger.
"And I've counted 3,45S of 'em on
one sand bar" continued the pilot. ut
looks big to tell, but a Government
surveyor was aboard, and he checked
'em off as I called out"
81 haven't the least doubt of it, " said
the passenger, as he heaved sigh.
"I'm glad O. that stranger. Some
fellers would think I am lier, when
I'm telling the solemn truth. This used
to be paradise for allygators, and they
were so thick that the wheels of the
boat killed an average Of forty-nine to
the mile!"'
as that SOP"
"True as Gospel, mister I used to
almost feel sorry for the poor brutes,
cause they'd cry out e'en like human
being. We killed lots of 'em, as 1 said,
and we hurt pile more. 1 sailed with
one Captain who allus carried thou
sand bottles of liniment to throw over
to the wounded onesl"
"He did?"
"True as you live, he did. I don't
'spect I'll ever see another such kind
Christian man. And the allygators got
to know the Nancy Jane, and to know
Captain Tom, and they'd swim out and
rub their tails agin the boat an try to
smile? ?"
"They would?"
Solemn truth, stranger! And once
when she grounded on bar, with an
opposition boat right behind, the ally
gators gathered around, and jumped
her over the bar by grand push! 1t
looks like big story, but L never told
a lie yet and 1 never shall; wouldn't
lie for ell the money you could put
aboard this boat"
There was painful pause, and after a
while the pilot continued:
%Our engines gin out once, and a
crowd of allygators took tow line, and
hauled us forty-ive miles mp stream to
Vicksburg."
They did,"
And when the news got along the
river that Captain Tom was dead, every
alligator on the river daubed his lief
ear with mud as badge of nournin'
and lots of 'em pinned and died
The passenger left the pilot house
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
Men Who Served Longest in Congress.

Mr.. Blaine, in his memorial address,
remarks that President Garfield was
"nine times successfully chosen to the
House, an honor not enjoyed by more
than six other representatives OF the
more than five thousand who have been
elected form the organization OF the
government to the House" Err. Gar
fields service was exceptionally long,
but the statement quoted is inaccurate.
There are at least eighteen similar in
stances. Thomas Newton. of Virginia,
was elected to IA successive Con
crosses: Lewis Williams, of North
Carolina, to ID; Nathaniel Macon, of
North Carolina, VIM. Mccoy, of Vir-
ginia, Charles Fenton Mercer, of Vir-
ginia, Joshua r. Giddings, Of Ohio,
and D. Kelley, of Pennsylvania, to IL;
John Reed, of Massachusetts,, Richard
Stanford, OF North Carolina, Henry W.
Conner, of North Carolina, and Samuel
J. Randall, of Pennsylvania, to 10;
John Dawson, of Virginia, John Dlv-
export, Jr., of Connecticut, James j..
McCay, Of North Carolina, Churchill
G. Chamberling, of New York, John
Quincy Adams, of Massachusetts,, John
S. Phelps, of Missouri, and Henry l..
Dawes, Of Massachusetts,, to 8. They
we're all cases of consecutive terms.
Newton had another term, and Reed
two, but as these we're separated from
the others by intervals, they arc not
reckoned in the foregoing list.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25

with the remark that he didn't doubt
the statement, and the old man gave
the wheel turn and replied:
there's one thing won't do for love
nor money, and that's make u her OF
myself. was brung up by q COED
mother, and I'll stick to the truth il
this boat don't make q cent"
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
The Way to be Happy.

The experience of the world, in all
-ses and nations, seems to confirm the
POTION that happiness was not intended
y nattare to be the direct results of an
YPeratlon, performed with the immedl-
N purpose Of attaining IL; but, on the
0oafrAry, the indirect result of an op-
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25

ATa fashionable wedding in Phila-
delnbia. recently, the absent-minded
orranist played Empty is the cradle.
he was retired on half pay
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25

TIE following sentance from RObt.
South will hear more than one reading
lit is most certain that i'll tongues
would be silent il Ill ears we're not
open, and hence it was an opposite say
ing Of the ancients that the teller and
nearer Of SANDER should both be hanged,
the one by the tongue and the other
by the ears
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
Rescued from Death.

The following statement of William
J. Coughlin, of Somerville, Mass, is so
remarkable that we beg to ask for it
the attention of our readers. He says:
In the fall of 1876 l was taken with
a violent bleeding of the lungs, followed
by a severe cough. L soon began to
lose my appetite and flesh. | was so
weak at one time that L could not leave
my bed. In the summer of 1877 | was
admitted to the city hospital. While
there the doctors said l had a hole in
my left lung as big as n half dollar. l
expended over a hundred dollars in
doctors and medicines. l was so far
gone at II time a report went around
that l was dead. l gave up hope, but
a friend told me of DIR. VIM. Halls
Balsam for the Lungs. l laughed at
my friends, thinking that my case was
incurable, but | got a bottle to satisfy
them, when to my surprise and gratih-
cation, | commenced to feel better.
My hope, once dead, began 10 revive,
and to-day l feel in better spirits than
l have the past three years.
81 write this hoping you will publish
it, so that every n afflicted with Dis
eased Lungs will be induced to take
DR.. VIM. Halls Balsam for the Lungs,
and be convinced that Consumption
can be cured. / have taken two bot
ties, and can positively say that it has
done more good than all the other
medicines | have taken since my sick
ness. My cough has almost entirely
disappeared. and | shall soon be able To
go to work. Sold 10y druggists.
iune25deod &wly
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
PILESl PILESl PILESi
A Sure Cure Found at Last. No One
Need Suffer.

A Sure Cure Found at Last. No One
Need Suffer.
a sure cure for the Blind, Bleeding,
Itching and liberated Piles has been
discovered by DIR. Williams ian Indian
remedy, called DIR. Williams Indian
Ointment. A single box has cured the
worst chronic cases of twenty-five and
thirty years standing. Nc one need
suffer five minutes after applying this
wonderful soothing medicine. Lotions,
instruments and electuaries do more
harm than good. Williams Ointment
absorbs the tumors, allays the intense
itching particularly at night after get
ting warm in bed), acts rs a poultice,
gives instant and painless %ralief, and is
prepared only for the piles, itching of
the private parts, and nothing else.
Read what the Hon. J. NJ. Comnber-
ny, of Cleveland, says about DIR. Viii
liams' Indian Pile Ointment: l have
used scores of pile cures, and it affords
me pleasure to say that / have never
found anything which gave such imme-
date and permanent relief as DIR.
Williams Indian Pile Ointment.
For sale by all Druggists, or mailed
on receipt Of price.
FRANK s. HENRY & Co.. Props,
Cleveland, Ohio.
Be sure and askfor Williams Pile
Ointment, and take no other.
For sale by Addoms 81 Glover.
~may7-daw1y
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07


The Russian executive officers are
astounded at the enterprise of Ameri-
can journals in obtaining reports of the
trials of the nihilists and forwarding
them home. In consequence of these
feats strict orders have been issued to
prevent foreign correspondents in Rus
STA from holding telegraphic communi-
cation with the papers they represent.
An inquiry has been opened under the
direction of Gen. Ignatien and Secre-
tary Vsiekkef1 with with a view of as
certaining by what means certain for
eign newspapers, and especially theNew
York Herald lately succeeded in bafH-
ing authorities and reporting the nihil-
ists' trial.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
A Cough. Cold or Sore Throat

should be stopped Neglect frequently re-
suits in an Lncura6Le Lung Disease or COn-
sumption. BROWNS BRONCHIAL Trio.
CHES de not disorder the Stomach like
cough syrups and bRlsams, but act directly on
The iTVddmed parts, a~llRying irritation, give
relief to Asthma. bronchitis. Coughs, Ca
tarrh and the Throat Troubles which Singers
and Public Speakers are subject to. For
thirty years, Browns Bronchial Troches have
been recommended by physicians. and
always give perfect satisfaction. Having
been tested by wide and constant use for
nearly an entire generation. they have at
taIned we'll merited rank among the few
staple remedies OF the age. Sold at p cents
a box every where iRn30dawlyeod
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

A BANQUET is to be given by the Iro-
quois club on March 10th, commemorate
ing the anniversary of the birth of An
drew Jackson;i lit promises to be a notable
affair. The following distinguished
democrats have been invited to respond
to toasts: 5. j. Tilden, Thos f. Bay
ard, Geo II. Pendletou, Henry Waiter
son, ex-senator Thurman (Ohio), Jcre
Black, Richard I. Merrick. Also fol
lowing, who have accepted invitation:
Thos A. Hendricks, Senator Lamar and
Ex-Governor Palmer.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

THERE is committee of one hun
dred in Philadelphia that has under
AIKEN the herculean task of cleansing
the political Augean stables. Upon in
Vestigation they have discovered that
gross frauds were perpetrated at various
election polls in November last, and
had warrants issued for the arrest of
the judges and inspectors who are i'm
plicated. The latter fed, however, and
$500 reward is offered for them.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

Never trine with a Cough. 1t is as
safe to trine with a rattlesnake. Check
the early symptoms before they culmin-
ate in chronic disease, with "Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar" Check
them, did we sayp Annihilate them
would have been the proper term, for
this peerless remedy does its work tho
roughly, leaving not a vestige of pull
monary irritation behind. Sold by
Druggists at 80 cents and 81 per bottle,
or six bottles, fmall $3.50 and large SIS.
The large size being most economical.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one
minute.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

THAT man who professed to have kill
ed Jesse James is a fraud. He stated
30 in order to claimtthe price put on
Jesse's head. He shot himself through
the log to make believe that he had a
hard fought battle with Jesse, but
the police found him out, and, when
taxed with his sperldy, he confessed.
The mans name is George Shepherd,
and he is really a friend of James.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
"Throw Physic to the Dogs, I'll
None of IL

We do not feel like blaming Macbeth
for this expression of disgust. Even
nowadays most of the cathartics are
great repulsive pills. enough to turn
ones stomach" Had Macbeth ever
taken DIR. Pierce's ''Purgative Pellets"
he would not have uttered those wold s
OF contempt. BY druggists.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
THE New York Commercial Adver-

THE New York Commercial Adver-
User says:'' 1t is not often that a private
family can secure a steak or roasting
piece out of a choice animal weighing
over 1,600 pounds, live weight, because
the butcher cannot afford to retail these
fine cattle on account Of the waste &C.
casioned by trimming the pieces to their
requirements, and If only actual cost Of
such choice family cuts should be de-
manded it would be considered an
outrageous extortion. Persons fire.
q~ueutly remark: "Why can't l get
from my butcher such a steak, as is serv-
ed at Delmonico's, or such roast beef
as they have at the large hotels?" But
should they inquire at the houses that
insist upon serving to their patrons the
best and primest quality of beef what
such choice morsels are costing, after
freed from all bone, slnew, string, grizzle
and superluous fat, they would be as
tonished. They would scarcely believe
that such a bit of roast beef or steak IS
worth over 81 a pound, actual cost, so
enormous is the waste and trimmings
on the ine.cuts of beef. An animal Of
100 pounds, live weight, will weigh in
the beef, when slaughtered, about 1925
lbs. OF this there are two short loins
and two prime rib roasts weighing about
lSOibs all that is now used bya first
class establishment for the table of its
guests. The remainder of the carcas is
counted as coarse cuts, and has to be
utilized for a class of customers whose
~epicurean education is not of the best,
or who, as a matter of economy, select
second quality.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

THE gamblers Of Chicago are having
a hard seige of 1t. Following closely up
on Mayor Harrison's raids come the
indictments of the grand jury. Many
prominent property owners are indicted
for letting their property for gambling
purDoses
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

If H Boomerang will take time to
look into some of the combinations of
Its own delegation in the legislature, it
will not be so ready to criticise the del
egation from Carbon or any other
conntv
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

THEY have a novel and forcible meth
cd of stopping labor strikes in Spain.
At Madrid the other day, a committee
of striking printers waited upon their
employers and found police in waiting
who arrested and imprisoned the as
tonished typos.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.

AS q valuable remedy for Indigestion.
Consumption, Dyspepsia Weakness,
Fever, Ague, &C, we can recommend
Colden's biebig's Liquid Extract of
Beef and Tonic Invigorator, in pint
bottles. Ask for COlden's, take no other.
For sale by Dare a. Collins.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

THE prominence of the cattle grow
ing interests of Wyoming has inspired
q column article OF the subject from
the pen of George William Curtis in the
current number of Harper's Weekly.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

WOMAN suffrage has received a set
back in Wisconsin. The bill for a con-
stitutional amendment failed in the
state senate.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

CoNKLNa accepts and Conkling de-
clines. BY making this guarded state
ment we sustain our reputation for eau
tion and veracity.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07
Nervous Debility.
A CURE GUARANTEED.

Dir. u. c.. VESTS Nerve and Brain Treat
ment n specific for HysteTia, Dizziness, Cor
v%ulsions, Nervous Headache, Mental De.
preston, Loss OF Memory, Spormntorrhnh,
lmpotency, involuntary Emissions, Prema-
abuse, or ovcr-indulgcnce, which leads to
misery, decay and death. One box will cure
recent cases. Each box contains one months
treatment. One dollar "A box, or six boxes
for ave dollars; sent by mail prepaid on re-
ceirt OF prices. We guarantee six boxes to
cure any case. with each order received by
us for six boxes, accompanied with five dol
lars. we will send the purchaser our writ
ten guarantee 10 return tue money II the
treatment does not effect a cure. Guar tntees
issued by GEoRG W. HoYT. Druggist ST
10 st Cheyenne, Wyo, Ter. Orders by mail
at regular ptice nDdnwly.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

THE life of General Burnside, by
Ben Perley Poore, has just been COM
pleted. The Fredericksburg campaign
is doubtless treated in ochreous colors.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

ARTHUR is said to favor a lighter
punishment for 1t. Flipper than the
court martial imposed, which is dismis.
sal from the service.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-03-07

HADN'T our stock friends better in
vestigate into the veterinary surgeons
bill, as it stands amended, and see If it
Is constitutional?