Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-08-10
SPICE AND AllSPICE.

tne prOperty-OWner who was ordered to
lay new sidewalk along the front of his
lot.
JOHN L. FRIsBIE, consul of Rheims,
says that two years Of constant work and
care are necessary to make a good bottle
of champagne.
OLD lady Ito druggist e"Are you
quite sure this is carbonate of soda, not
arsenic ?" Druggist -"Quite, ma'am;
try it and judge for yourself.
IT is noted as a queer misprint in one
OF Chicago's great dailies last week that
doctor felt Of patients "purse."
Nothing very queer about that.
A WASHINGTON clerk who had a keg of
specie drop on his fingers, is one of the
few people who ever had too much cash
on hand. d.-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
WHAT il the difference between freight
and cargo. A horse-car conductor says
the passengers make the freight, and the
horse makes the car go.
FoGG at the theatre: Him ~ ejacu-
lated FOgg. $50 they say this play was
taken from life? 1 should say rather
that the life is taken from the play"
An exchange tells Of man who "cut
beautiful neck that would have been for
garroter to experiment upon Boston
Transcript.
81 UNDERSTAND that your courtship
with Charley Is at an end" YES"
said she; Charley pressed his suit until
it become threadbare, and then l gave
him the sack"
A LITTLE girl on being told something
which greatly amused her; said that she
"would remember it the whole of her
life, aud when she forgot it she would
write it down."
DLINDMAN's bluff is supposed to come
nearer to genuine sympathy than any
other amusement known to the children
Of man, because sit is fellow feeling
for a fellow creature"
How clumsy you are !" said the mis-
tress at the table, as the waiter split the
sauce over guests rich dress, "there
won't be sauce enough to go round now."
Detroit Free Press.
A woMAN's journal warns its fair read-
ers never to sleep in the broad glart>of
the moonlight. Considering the wealth
er, this advice is timely. There is a mau
in the moon.-Phitadelphia NeIOs.
THIS il given as a sure way to detect
the adulteration of wine: After empty
ing the bottle, fill it with water and set
il in the sun for two hours. Ii at the
end of that time the bottle explodes the
wine was pure.
TRANSLATED from the Omnibus: A
servant bestroked bimself his bread-cut
upon both sides with butter. There
l., H.. xnl 10, 4.
know it, my undermouth Is to me just
as dear as my oyermouth."
MEMBER of the church out of breath:
"What are you ringing that bell for?
What are you ringing that bell for?"
Sexton: "Why, Mr.. Blower is dead"
NJ. c.: "Oh. no ! 1t isn't true. Stop
the bell" Sexton: ''Well, then, l sup
pose tolled lie."
A NEW Mrs. Malaprop: La subur-
ban town lives a relative of the immortal
Mrs. Malaprop. The other evening q
caller asked If Mr.. - was at home suu
could be seen. 81 thiLk not" was the
reply. 81 believe my husband has ex-
pired for the night"
JOHNNY came home from school the
other day very much excited. "What
w you tHinh, pu, oot cteNaiu, ouc VI
the big boys, had an argument with the
teacher about question in grammar !"
"What position. did Joe take?" "His
last position was across chair, with his
face down %
An Austin teacher was explaining frac-
tions to a rather dull boy. "Now, sup
pose you and your little sister were un-
der tree, and you found a peach and
you wanted her to have as much as you,
how would you go about it?" "Shake
down another peach out of the tree and
give her the littlest one."
SUMNER resort item-One of the
younger Coquelin's stories relates that,
during a visit to Brighton, Sarah Bern
hardt lay down on the beach dressed in
white. She was hrusquely awakened
from her reveries by washer-woman,
who picked her up, having mistaken her
for bath towel laid out to dry.--Loa-
don Truth.
A Missouri paper wants to know "who
can endure being hawked at with the
black beak Of envy?" No one, sir No
one can tamely submit to such thing.
And if ever any man hawks at us with
his black beak of envy, we'll bite him
u IL
tion smite us with the red bolt of ven-
geance from the dripping jaws Of the
cloud of hate the next minute. Yes,
We'd do it.-HaUkeye.
GENERAL KoLPAnovsKI, general
who has risen from the ranks by sheer
and reckless daring in Central Asia, is
said to be the coming man in the Russian
army. 1t is not strange that soldier
bearing such a cognomen should reck-
lessly risk his life in order to "make a
name for himself. "-Norristown Her
aid.
HONEST JOHN was about to be married
for the fourth time. His dominic con-
graduated HIM, and added: ''They say,
John, you're getting money with her;
YOU did so on the last two occasions;
you'll get quite rich by the wives
"Dear SIR" quietly responded john,
what wi bringin' them in, and putin
them out, there's nae mockle made O.
them"
Mrs. BRowN-"Dear me, Mrs. Jones.
are those tall young ladies' really yours?
/ had no idea you had daughters grown
up." Mrs. Jones (who is still possessed
of considerable personal attraction)-
"Oh, yes! 1 was married at Is, you
know! And is that young gentleman
really your son?' Mrs. Brown (who lis
also possessed of ditto ditto ditto)-
"Yes-a-I was married at II"
As MoSTIHoDpY's elocution dwindled
to husky whisper, poignant sob es-
capped the enameled rose-tist labials OF
his only child. "Why do you weep,
my daughterY' he tenderly inquired.
Because pesky Hoboken ganinipper,
whose stem -winder has been grated
with the acute virulence Of Yonkers
yellow jacket, has stung me ON my
engagement knuckle. Boo HOOP The
fond parent arose and pulled down the