davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
She Wanted Comedy.

Three months ago, when new
servant girl came to q wellto- do fam
lily, the mistress said she desired to
post the girl in advance on one GER
tain little point. She and her hus-
band belonged to an amateur the
atrical company, and In case Jane
heard any racket around the heuse
she must not imagine that they were
quarreling-they would simply be re-
hearsing their parts. The "play" be-
gan on the third evening of the girls
engagement. The husband tainted
his wife with extravaganza, and she
said he played apoker' for money,
and chairs were upset and footstools
were kicked around, and threats
were made of "goIng home to moth
er" Next morning the mistress said
to the girl:
"Did you hear us play our parts in
the Wronged Wife last night n
Yes'mr
at was simply rehearsal, you
know and you mustn't think strange
Of my throwing vase at my hus-
band and calling him vile wretchw
Three or four nights after that the
curtain went up on play called
"The Jealous Husband" and Jane
heard sobs, signs, protestations,
threats and EXPLANATIONS. The next
play was entitled "Coming Home
Tight" and mostly played in the
front hall. Then followed "The
Depths of Despair "Threats Of Di-
yorce," and "Such Wretch !" until
Jane was at last tired of having a
private box and being the only audi
ence. The other morning she ap-
peared in the sitting room with her
hat on, her bundle under her arm,
and said:
crease Maam put I'm going this
morningr'
"What! gong away 7"
"Yes'm!s
.For what reason I"
"Please, ma'am but I'm tired of
tragedy; I'm girl as naturally likes
to see hugging and kissing and love
making, on the stage; and when
Marks the lawyer comes in on the
what-do you-call-it, Pm sure to be
tickled to death l think I'll try
acme family where they rehearse
comedy and have deal Of kissing,
and perhaps I may come in as a |
'supe,' and get small share of it
for myselfw
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
Balancing the Books.


At the end Of last year, when an
Ohio bank cashier could not make
his books balance, the president sat
down with him and said:
"Mr. Symonds, it is evident that
You have made a clerical error some.
where
"But | have verified my figures
over and over again." protested the
cashier.
.Just so. but yet you have over
looked the error. According to your
books this bank is SCOOP sllert."
/" Yes, sir.v
And according to my private
memoranda you are a S400 trotting
horse and $500 diamond pin
ahead, while the rats probably ate
up the % cents. Please correct tho
error and furnish a clean balance
Sheet
Mr.. Symonds isn't cashier any
more. His health was so bad that
he had to have out door employ
ment.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06

Railroads.
nAITInoRE AND OHIO RAILROAD.
a IN and after sunday, Noy. 90, 1881, trains n

On and ftersunday, Noy. 20. 1881, trains run
TRAINS GOING EAST.
No Daily. leaves Wheeling at 10 m, ar
riyes at Martinsburg att IL p M, leaves II, ar
riyes at Washington rs, Baltimore ~ % p m.
No Daily, leaves Wheeling % m. arrives
ut Martinsburg at 05 a m, leaves NJ . w, ar
rives at Washington d Baltimore 10 70 a m.
No n Daily, except sunday leaves Martins
burg rs a m, arrives at Washington IS, Bal
tiinore II 10am m.
Piedmont 10 a m, arrives at MartinSburg AZ
ii 10 u m leaves II 20, arrives at Baltimore TO-
No Daily leaves Parkersburg 30 m, ar
rives at Martinsburg at II 55. leaves II 59, ar
riyes at Washington Us m, baltimore 10.
TRAINS GOING WEST.
No. 10 Daily, leaves Baltimore at 80 m, ar
riyes at Martinsburg at 06 p m, leaves at 10,
arrives at at Parkersburg at II 40 m, Wheel
ing IL 35 pm.
No. Ii Main stem, except Sunday leaves
Baltimore so m, arrives at Martinsburg at
II O8 u m leaves Il IL, arrives at Piedmont 70.
No. Daily, leaves baltimore 50 m, arrives
at Martinsburg IS, leaves ~ m, arrives In
Wheeling Mt 2 50 p m.
No q Daily leaves baltimore 80 p m, arrives
at Martinsburg IL IS, leaves IL IA m, arrives at
Parkersburg ID IS a m, Wheeling 10 50.
No. % Main Stem, Daily except sunday,
leaves Baltimore at % p m, arrives At Mar
tinsburg at 10 40.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
HANOVER JUNCT., HANOVER & ETTYs-
III BURG X. r., AND HANOVER & BALTI-
MORE H. r..

On and after Nov. LIST, 1881. trains will run
and connect as follows:
EASTWARD.
Leave Gettysburg at 755am, II 80 p m, and
10, through cars for Baltimore. Arrive at
New Oxford 10 m, l o5 p m, 3 81; Hanover at
sss, 200, Oh; Han; juno. $50, 4o5; Emory
Grove, 10 30, Is; Baltimore, IL 49, SIS; WASH
ington, 3 A. !. 81; York, 1905. IS; Harrisburg,
Il e. 10 70; Phil, via Columbia, Is, 30 M n;
p m, IS a m; Pittsburg, ! 80 M. 90 am.
Trains connect at Emory Grove with western
bound trains on w. NJ. r. K. Trains leave
Hanover for Frederick II o. a m, Il M.
WESTWARD.
Leave Pittsburg 25 p m, Is m, New York
IS a IN, SIS a M Phil, 8 90 a m. y 10 p m, via
Bait, 05 m, IL Is IN, Harrisburg 40 a m,
10 IN, York II so pm, Is pm, Hillen Station,
BALI, Through cars for Gettysburg) s. a m,
4s5 pm, Emory Grove II oS am, 5 So m,
Hanover juno, 8 BOA IN, so p M, Hanover II SIS
pm, 9 90 a m, 40 p M, New Oxford as a m. ! -
49, D m, arrive at Gettysburg 10 30 m, IS,
$40 m. Passengers to from Washington
will change cars at Union Depot. Charles ST.,
baltimore.
II. d. SCOTT, Agt. JOS. LEIB, Agt.
Gettysburg. Pa. Hanover. Pa.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
CUMBERLAND VALLEY RAILROAD.

On and after Monday, Jan. 2srd, 1882, trains
Will run as follows:
EASTWARD.
Mail Train leaves Martinsburg at 10 a m.
Bedington Z "a Falling Waters 80, Williams
port Station ~, Hagerstown 500, Chambcrs-
burg S. Carlisle 10 IL, arrive at Harris'g ii 05.
Philadelphia Express leaves Martifsburg at
10 Il a IN, Bedington 10 10, Falling Waters 10 50,
Williamsport Station II Is, Hagerstown IL 40,
Chambersburg % p m, Carlisle 49, arrive at
Harrisburg Is p M.
Accommodation Train leaves Martinsburg at
3 l0p. m. Bedington 32i, Falling Waters S3l, Will
Transport Station As, HaserstOwn 0S. Cham
bersburg 0S, Carlisle 50, arrive at Harrisburg
at 80.
WESTWARD.
Accommodation leaves Harrisburg at 8 90 q
m, Carlisle So, Chambersburg 10 90, arrives at
Hagerstown at IL o., Williamsport Station IL
"a, Falling Waters IL SO, Bedington II 70, Mar
tinsburg II IS.
Mail leaves Harrisburg at 100 p m, Carlisle
l55 Chambersburg 8 Is, arrive at Hagerstown
at %, Williamsport Station 4.24, Falling Wa
tiers So, Bedngton AZ, Nartinsburg So.
Philadelphia Express leaves Harrisburg at
05 m, Carlisle 90, Chambersburg6 20 arrive
at Hagerstown at 10.
]. F. BOYD, supt.
CHAs. FELDMAN, Agt.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
Wanted 5!

FIvEHUNDRED THOUSAND WHITE
OAK and HICKORY SPOKES, bought in
Log, standing on ground or split out, for
which will pay cash. Call and get size
to cut by. Also Elm, etc., for Hubs.
JOHN FITZ,
TUscARORA SHOPS AND RIM WORKS. Mar
tinsburg, Berkeley County. W. Va.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
DISSOLUTION NOTICE.

The firm of Messman & Ramer,
jewelers., has this day been dissolved
by mutual c0nsent-F. s. Ramcr
taking all accounts of and against
the firm. MESSMAN & RAINIER.
April 9th, 1899.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
REMoVA AL!

/ wish to inform my customers and the
public in general, that 1 have removed
my shoe store to North Queen Street,
and have increased my stock of
BOOTS AND SHOES
of the latest styles. just received from
the mandatory and made especially to
order, fine lot of Ladies' & Misses Tam
peco Morocco and French Kid Shoes ]
call the farmers attention to my stock of
handmade Kip Boots, and children's
school calf shoes These goods are made
of the best material and sold cheap for
cash! Call and get Lyons Patent Heel
Stiffner to keep your boots and shoes from
running over! Boots and Shoes made
to order Repairing neatly done! Give
me a call JOHN LYONS,
Next door to Adams Express Company,
North Queen Street, Martinsburg.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06

The faults of fool are concealed
from himself, while they are evident
to the world; on the other hand, the
faults Of the wise man are well known
to himself, while they are masked
over and invisible to the world.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
rEsTERS MARYLAND RAILROAD.

VIZ EsTERN MARYLAND RAILROAD.
On and after Thursday, Dec. LIST, 1881, trains
will run as follows:
EASTWARD.
MARTINsBuRG EXPRESS leaves Willismsport
at 7:40 a m. Martinsburg II 50, Hagerstown 8 o.
Waynesboro 49,, Mechanicstown 8 Is, En-
mittsburg 50, Frederick junction Q 40, West
minister 10 20, Fulton Station II 43, arrive at
Hillcn Station Baltimore, IL SIS.
MAIL leaves Williamsport 10 m. Martins
burg 10 Is m, Hagerstown 80 p m, Waynes-
boro 81, Mechanicstown so, Emmittsburg
80, Frederick Junction 10, Westminster 5 OF,
Hanover So, arrive Fulton Station, Bait, 0 Is,
Hillen Station 81.
WESTWARD.
MAIL leaves Hillen Station, Bait, 7 Is a m,
Westminster OIL, Fred. juno. 9 49, Emmitts-
burg (ar) 10 80, Mechanicstown 10 %, Waynes-
boro II 81, Hagerstown II 40, Martinsburg (ar)
80 IN. Williamsport (ar) II 10 noon.
MARTlNSBURG EXPRESS leaves Hillen Sta
ton. Bait, at 00p m, Fred Jane. s 10, Hagers-
town 55 arrive at Williamsport 10.
B.H. GRlswOLD, ]. N. HOOD,
General Ticket Agent. Gen'l Manager.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
Subscribe for THE HERALD.
FOR SALE OR RENT!

A VERY DESIRABLE FARM, near Mar
tinsburg, in good state of cultivation, an ex-
cellent house and necessary outbuildingx, Fine
Peach and Apple Orchard; a good neighbor-
hood; also near church and school, For fur
Their particulars inquire OF Henry Wilen, Esq.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06
SPRING { SUMMER GOODS,

both foreign and domestic, beautiful in
style and finish, which we will offer low.
In fact, down with the LOWEST, accord
ing to quality and price for cash or REA-
soNABLE CREDIT. Spring Fashions just
received-New York and London designs
very tasty. We are glad to say we
have good share of public patronage,
and we expect by good work and mate
rial, by giving undivided attention to
business and the wants of the trade, to
largely increase in the near future.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-05-06

The jewelry business will be con-
timed by the undersigned, who,
while thankful for past patronage,
respectfully asks for a continuance
Of the same in the future.
+. s. RAINIER.
New-York tribune., 1882-04-23

Mrs. PARIIsGToN ON THE ROMANS al never
did like the Romans said Mrs. harrington, when
seeing the play of Corlolanus,"" since mistook
some Roman punch for ice cream, and IL got into
my head. And caIne pretty nigh exploding once
in trying to light one of Isaac's Roman candles
thinking it was WAX j must cay they arc a set Of
the red table cloth for counsel and then going to
throw him over the touhpin rock. l AN very glld
though, they didn't do it, because don't see how
tho play could get along without him. and il would
have disappointed many" Stop talking" said
a harsh voice behind her. Mrs Paftington looked
round at .he speaker, who scOwlc led at her with the
Indignation OF two shillings worth of impaired en-
joyment, and she. simply saying. You needn't DO
DO bituIninous about 1t" waa silunt.
New-York tribune., 1882-04-23
PROFESSIONAL E1RNLNGS IN ENGLAND.
From The Lancet


We have recently allotted special space TO the
notification Of wills left by medical men. 1t mus.
have already struck those of our readers who have
glanced At the figures recorded III TINS weekly To-
port that the average value of the property handed
down by members OF the profession 10 their families
is sngularly small. THIS is unhappiIy, the fact.
The general practitioner Is haId-W Orklng and TOO
often struggling man TO the end oI his days
Comparatively few Ot the class are able 10 retire,
the members of other c;llIngs retire for rest from
their iabors, before The relief which rest bnugs to
all men. Ply slcans ana surgeons i,s "a rule die III
harness. The expenses Incurred BY those who make
specialIties of medicine surgery, of any one
branch OF either Of those departments of prOfcs-
slOnal work, are necessarily great, whlle the re-
compense the life OF labor entaIled, looking at
the career u whole, Is prOportlonately small.
Even the few who seem 10 mako large Incomes
dunng part of their career seldom alnass even
moderate completeness. Some Hye-and- twenty
years ago calculations were made for
London and the PROVINCES and 1t Was esti-
mated that physician. practising as such IN
London. did not acquire al Income OH which lie
would be required 10 pay IncOmc-taX for sixteen
years from the commencement, while a physician
In the provinces reached the legal figure i'll eleven
years. but not earlier. The differences in favor of
the provinces are, of course due the TACT that no
man would thiIk OF commencing practice Us pure
physician III any city or town, except the capital,
unless IA. had special reason " believe there existed
an opening"
We have no means of knowing whether matters
have mendod with the profession generally during
the last quarter vi century. but looking 10 the
crease Of It's aggregate numbers relation to the
population We tear there Is not much ground 10
hope that the rewards OF professional labor have
been sensbly augmented. The laborer is worthy of
his hire and II Is well now and again 10 look into
this matter OF money. Ii viii sooner or later be
necessary 10 take II INTO very serious consideration
In relation to the question OF fees Meanwhile the
lesson ~ be learnt from te story OF the Wills left by
medical men Is certainly one 0i caution and thrit.
il is sad reflection that, speaking generally, tho
families of medical practitioners are nsninclently
provided for, Large proportion being lett almost ia
poverty.
New-York tribune., 1882-04-23
TIE REASON HHY.

Tho she hath not dams grace,
Nor Aphrodite's perfect tace
And golden har,
She is dcarer unto me
Than another Ger could be,
And more fair.
lis she rich. then ?" Oh dear, no,
But have enough, tr0w,
Fcr us two.
what do love her for 7" Al. well,
That can't exactly tall,
But DO.
All my hope OF gladness lies
H. the love-light If her eyes;
The fond kiss
OF her tender rosy lips.
Touch OF her slender nnger-tipf,
Gives more bliss
Than you, cold cynic, c'er could guess.
But still, the reason, yDu confess,
You can't diNn
Wen / love her, AMI she loves me;
What better reason can there be
For JOY luxe mine NJ. i. G.
New-York tribune., 1882-04-23
SORROW.

When was young. | said to sorrow
Come, and ! will play with taee"
He is near me now ali day,
And at nigh, returns 70 say
8" will come again tomorrow
| will come and stay with thee"
Through the world we walk together
lis soft footsteps rustic by me;
TO shield an unrcgarded head
He hath built winter shed;
and all night III rainy weather
hear hear his gentle brt afhings by ne.
AUBREY DE NKNs
New-York tribune., 1882-04-23

SLIP OF The TONGUE.-She encouraging
ly) Your step suits mine exactly" lie (neryOusyJ;
d so glad " hear you say know I'm such bad
vaitzer"-iJudy.
New-York tribune., 1882-04-23
Fixed on my sea-girt steep,
| neither SOW nor reap,
Yet never o fast | keop.

No: the idle town goes not hungry. 1t eats and 1t
eats well. The burdens which an oppressive gov
ernment used to lay upon the industries OF the 70
volted towns were never felt in the little rock capi-
tai because there men did not work. Monaco has
no industry except the exploitation Of strangers.
The reigning prince, Charles, is blind old man
who lives secluded life in one wing OF tho palace.
and allows his servants to take few francs Tor
showing the deserted State apartments twice week
TO curious visitors. Inside tho palace gate a gor-
ceous beadle receives you. In the vestbule
woman takes your cane and sells you photographs
You are ushered through the handsome quadrangle
called the Court of Honor to the marble stairs
leading up TO n decorated arcade. The frescoos by
Caravaggio and Carlone, arc interesting. but you
are granted little time to examine them. Making
the tour OF the show.roons Of palace is not an OK
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1882-10-28
STATE TAX SALE
STA IEEBz=sbDUI2IANA PARlSH1CAD GASIBU.
4lIr STATE Of LOUISIANA, 1Auisn d cAroAsrsp,
DELINQUENT TAX DEBT0Rs.

TIDY VIRTUE OF THE AUTHORITY vested BY the constitution
tho State Of Louisiana the undersigned, Sheriff and
Collector and for sid Parish of Geasieu will sell at the
the Court House. which the Civil Dscs Court is held
tie Charles onsna within legal hours for Judicial sales
beginning II o'clock !.
SATURDAY., November rs, 1852,
succeeding until compile
iuosab which due to the
Parish Of Calcasu January !, 1880
The provisions of Act No 49, of the General Assembly
Of Louisiana entitled Aeto enforce the Miscellaneous Drdi-
Constitution Of 1872 for the relief of delinquent
.auprosed July s. 1882, to-ait
S.sa A4ossT,
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1882-10-28

Foneaot Ant lone horse and improvements taxes y 20
Fonenot Ant lone horse and improvements u teIo
FoneBot Drozn and improvements, ~ to ~
81 F0nenot Ee 1T2 sec II 3 n w taxes 20 10 o
As 70 Fouenot horse and oxen rs to 70
81 Foneno improvements 70 to rs
IA Fonenot twenty ventyeight
and cattle, IA to 70
Honore horse and improvements 70 to ~
IT Fonnoi Thos Improvements seventeg
I9 So Fonenot Thos Bl
seventy cattle and six horses seventy
SIS Ford horse and improvements taxes 20 to 20
PIP horse and a US
Ford Washington stock eEenty-eght
Foreman Mrs I horses and ZIG CATTLE seventy
Foreman, 0sem horse and IS to ~
so Foreman Mrs Ralph
sTi agent stock, seventyseven
as Foshel cattle seyentythee to eight
5T Foster Joel horse and eventywo to eight
u Foster no horse and mps sevenyou to eight
IL 27 Fountain, w G orr
o. VIM two horses, taxes ssventytwo seTenyeght
Fowler, A
Francois Joachim horse and eight
Francois Pierre 1.-TWO horses and to eight
Kruger, horse and three cattle a to 70
Fuselier, Hiram and four cattle 70 TOYS
Jno eight
eight
81 Fcnne
Fenne eight
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-05
AN OLD LOVE AFFAIR.

A valentine seen by a Lsttger reporter
which was sent to a girl in Easton by a
youth in Washington brings to mind the
story of name and OF q name OF note in
American history. The name Of the SEN
der of tho missiye is Return J. Meigs, and
the same Christian name has been in the
Meigs family for several generations Many
years ago, in ante-revolutionary days, iona
than Meigs courted young lady who reject
ed his addresses Megs continued to love
the girl, and, though too proud and sensitive
TO try second time to win her, he determine
ed never to marry any one else and to live
and die bachelor unless she, of her own
yohtion, relented. After q few years the
lady did relent, or perhaps got to know her
own heart better, and sent letter to her
former sutton. Meigs got the letter and
found in it only the two words :-'Returp
Jonathan" 1t was enough. Jonathan did
return and made her his wife. Their first
child was baptized -" Return Jonathan,
to commemorate the brief letter that saved
the Mcigs family from extinction, and from
that day to this there has been Return
J. Moigs in every generation. The sender
Of the valentine referred to is the grandson
Of General M. @. Meigs, late Qnartermaster
General now retired. Eastoa (Md) Letig.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-05
WALL STREET LINGO.

f u tx
Every traffic has its special parlance,
which in many cases requires explanation.
Among business men, for instance, paper"
means promissory notes. In the printing
craft copy is matter to be put in type.
Down East the captain of any small vessel
is a skipper" and the Cape Cod parlance
n School would attract fisherman rath-
er that pedagogue. In music the sscore :"
is not twenty, and among iron smelters
"pigsr are not swine. SO also in Wall
street man six feet high may be " short"
while another of scarce five feet (iise jay
Could may be "long." AS am often
questioned concerning the terms used In the
stock market, | take this opportun ity to
reply. Canard is French for duck, and
suggests those wooden deeoys which sports
men float when after such game. In Wall
street anything Is o canard that may be used
for purposes of deception. From caneyd we
naturally have the term ELAINE duck" as APP
piled to losers. Buying on margin, is
term SO common that every one may be
supposed to understand it. It is the COM
mon method of spectators, who generally
pay one-tenth down, and the stock Is held
at their risk. If it decline they must put up
a new margin or be sold out.-Hermit,
in Troy Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-07-05
A NOBLE sPENDTHRIFT.
fhe Short Career Of the Earl of Lonsduies
One of the wenlthiest British Peers.

The Earl of Lonsdale, whose death in
London was recently announced, succeeded
IN the short period of six years, since he
came into his title and estates, in distin-
gushing himself In number of ways not
before attempted by amy member of the Low
ther family, of which he was the head. His
predecessors had been known for their gift
of accommodating property and the fam lily es-
tates in Cumberland and Westmoreland are
so extensive that the Earls have successfully
been Lord Lieutenants of both counties, a
very unusual distinction. The late Earl was
one of the richest peers in England, one Of
the hardest drinkers, one Of the most reek-
less gamblers and an unrivaled spendthrift.
These distinctions he gained within two
years after attaining his majority and he
then added to them the additional distinc-
ton of becoming the husband of Lady Con.
stance Gladys Herbert the leading "pro-
fessional beauty Of English society. The
marriage took place in 1878, and was con-
sidered most brilliant one, though opposed
by the lady's brother and guardian, the Earl
of Pembroke, on account of Lonsdale's
reckless habits. The Young bride and groom
ran n race in prodigaliiy, and the Countess
is said to have layished three millions In her
first year. while the Earl kept up an enor-i
nous racing stud and one of the most ex-
pensiye steam yachts in the world. Inside
the year, La Gitana," as the Countess was
familiarly called, returned to her mother un-
der q cloud, and the Earl cheerfully adver-
tised the fact to the world, coupled with the
assurance that he would thereafter "pay no
bills Of her contracting" which, ~ he was
even then practically bankrupt, was not OF
much account TO tradesmen. He has since
gone OH from bad to worse and wrecked not
only his fortune buthis health by his excuses.
He had not yet reached the the age of TWEEN
ty-seyen, and will be succeeded by his broth
er, who is married to a sister OF the now
somewhat notorious Marquis of Huntley, =,