davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
D-JAnISON.
A quiet Wedding at the Cathedral
Yesterday Morning.

\ very quiet wedding took place n the
Cathedral Yesterday morning, at . . clock,
the contracting parties being the Hon.
John t. Floyd, vi LO gan County, and Miss
Clara A. daughter of Mrs Mary \. Jami-
On, If Fifteenth street, this city. QIitr
large number OF pcrGons had anticipated
the ceremony ard occupied seats in the
auditorium of the building, awaiting the
arrival Of the bridal party. There werv no
attendants and promptly at the hour named
the young couple walked up the center
aisle OF the church TO the music Of the wed
ding march rendered by Ms VI. Whitaker,
on the organ IT the Cathedral. At the altar
Rt. Rev. J. J. Kahn, Bishop Of Wheeling,
attrcd in his POntiiic.' robes met the
couple, and with all the ceremonies Of the
church, including the NUptial Mass, pro
nOunCed them man and vile. ThcCLthoI'c
marriage service is the most solemn aud
impressive Of all services. alii it seemed
dUubIy 30 Yesterday a. rendered by the
good bishop Bishop Kahn was assisted by
the Rev Father A. l. JamisOn, :. j.. OF
Boston. a brother OF the bride, and by
Rev Father LOague of the Cathedral.
The bride was ne.tly and elegantly atured
in dress OF dark and handsome material,
while the groom wore the COnventlOnal
black. The floral offerings were numerous
and beautiful. and bright as the future OF
their recipients. After the ceremony, an
informal reception was held at the resi-.
dcnce of Mrs jami.on. on Fifteenth street,
at which large number OF guests were
present. and al which numerous presents
were given.
Mrs Floyd is one of Wheeiing'S most
beautiful and accomplished Young ladies',
and her departure from this city will he
source Of regret to her many friends.
MI Floyd is IA very young, but very
talented lawyer OF Logan county, a nephew
If the Hon. John l.. Floyd, a member of
Euvhunams cabinet at the breaking out Of
the war Mr.. Floyd came to this city i'll
ISL. a member ut the House OF Delegate.
and although the youngest member, he ut
once took rank with the leaders, and during
the sessions was 4 recognized power.
During the past summer he was nominated
for the position of State Senator from his
district. and hi election will send him to
this city again this winter. The REGISTER
takes pleasure in extending COngratula-
tions. together with the numerous friends
everywhere. 10 tine Young couple who have
So SpicouSly started out on their journey
vi life
Mr. Floyd and wife left at AL +. NJ. yes
icrduy Tor Baltimore and the east. whence
they will 20 to their home in Logan county.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
TRUSTEES SALE

DY VIRTUE OF \ DEED OF THr.,,
ID made by Jane T. Rcy mer ana Fr.i,- .
Keymer her husband on the I'd tav Of " ,, -
1880, and recorded in the Office Of the r'I-,v u
The County Court Of ohio county, w,-i T.,
sinia, in deed OF trust book No. L. r....-. "
Shall proceed Ia sell, at public auction. ..rr,
front door OF the Court Huusc OF said ,I'
county, on
SATURDAY, 3OTH SEPTEMEEG. I.>-
The following dcscribcd real estate. to-g.. ,
certain lot of grourd in The city of Wa.,..i'
Ohio county, West Virginia. In what = know
as EaS, Wheeling, fronting thirty feet u. %.
west side OF McCOllOch street. ia said c.t' D,
running back weStwardly me huudr.l "a
twenty feet, and bounded ~ follows: .r-!r'
mig AT the northeast corner a.! a lot ~. 70.
James ENley 10 \. II. Gasini'r. whrc. ,..l
corner IL On the western SIG" II sad Nice.
l"ch suCct, and SIXTY feet rom iOt n "a
square No. 5. in Churchili'S addition s. =.
Ihcnce running weStwardly with Ga>urrr,
norm me one hundred and twenty .r,.. IL.
met thence rnrthwaidly and parable! ,.l
McS olIoch street thirty TN feet: thence Cos.
waInI$ and parallel with The first In. Ia
NC, "l3ch street Ia feet thence .nuthwf-l.r
WIN said street thirty IN feet to he r.a,.'. .,
beginning. ''
Terms Of sale cash.
Selling sS trustee, shall, convey or .r,r,
tlti" as u vested in m" ny SAID IrI.>, urI nm,
me J. believed Ia De perfect
hGPO WM Liner Tr,ss...
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
Certificate Of Incnrportatiou.

Secretary II State Stalnakcr Yesterday
issued certificate OF Incorporating to the
Abram'S Creek loom and Lumber Company
FOX the purpose Of constructing one or more
lo,n.s, with Or without piers. aui all nee
essay dams. locks. etc, IN AOrum' ; creek.
E'A district. Mineral county. The prlnci-
psi ,i,.re shall he a. keyNrr, aud the Ger
i:ticsic is To- .Un twenty-five years. The
capital stock i 1913. Of which S27.5N is paid
in Tie stockholders SIRE NJ. y. Neville J.
II N''>>rn sHd several others Of Tie SINE
z, uuiN
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
TRISTEE,S SALE

R NIltTC or \ DEED OF TRUST MADE
- ny David Henderson and Maggie nt,
we, and Ami" Henderson, To the undrrSisn.
ci trustee, daled ON the G5'h day of March in
'he year 1870, and recorded IN the clerks u'',.
OF the County Court Of ohio county. We, -
Iinia, IN deed OF trust book No. i, page D. ~
SATURDAY, THE 18TH DAY or SErrl.v.
BIER, l>>!,
sen nj pubic auction, 10 the highest and N.s
bidder, al the front door of the Cour' Hons,
Ohio county. commencing at 10 O'Clock n
on said day, the following described prpr..lt
that is toiay: Lot Numbered twruty-ulu. IN
the corner Of Main and Monroe streets. n. ,l,.
town of Triadelrhia. In said county Uuo.
together with al tho buildings AMI al,.!r..n'
anceS on and belonging TO said property.
Dwelling house and storeroOm Oh 'h. p-n.
perty.
TERMS or SALE-one-third Of the purch ~.
money 10 b" paid in cash, on"-tk.rd' thereof
win interest, IN one year. and the r,->si Inc
thereof In two years from The day Of sale TIM.
purchaser will lie required To give h!> nnl,.
win good security for the deferred ptymsut>.
ANA a. further security the legal Title Will b..
retained I'LL the Lutv> Hic paid.
hgli j. H. EWING, TrtI>fa,
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

We are advised by letter from Col. Will
son that competitive examination will he
held in thi> city on the 18th Of September
for the purpose OF determining who shall
represent this district in the West Point
Military Academy. The examination will
I've held III the Governors office Al the CAPT
tnl. The examination will he both as TO
physical and mental qualifications, reading,
writing, history, mathematics composition
and geography. 1t is likely that 4 large
uumbr- Ut applicants will hc on hand.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
IrUe 10 Her Trust.

Too much cannot be said of the ever
faithful wife and mother, constantly watch
ing and caring for her dear ones never neg
Letting single duty in their behalf. When
they are assailed by disease, and the sys-
TEN should have a thorough cleansing, the
stomach and bowels regulated, blood puri-
fled, and malarial poison exterminatcd, she
must know that Electric Bitters are the
only sure remedy. They are the best and
purcst medicine in the world. and only
cost 80 cents. Sold by Logan & Co.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
Bueklen's ArnlcS saIve.

The Best SALvE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores letter, Chapped Hands, Chilblsins,
Corns and all Skin EruptiOns, and positive
ly cures Piles. 1t is guaranteed TO give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded.
Price 25 cents per box. For sale BY Logan
& Co.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
DRY GOODS.
Henry Jacobs,
1854 Main St,
Our SpeciaIties!
THIS WEEK ARE.
THIS WEEK ARE

10 pieces OF all wool MataIa-
see Sacking in all the new
shades, at soc; sold everywhere
at 6oc.
40 pieces yard wide Cash
mere, all the Fall Shades, at
SOC; sold everywhere at zoe.
5opicccs Fancy Dress Goods
at I21!c.
We have the Best Black SILK
at 81 in Wheeling.
10 pieces Turkey Red Da-
mask, best colors, at SOC; sold
everywhere at 6oc.
200 Countcrpancs at soc.
100 Counterpanes at 75c;
former price ST.
Bargains in every depart
mcut.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
Accident at Akron.

AKRON, O.. September G.-Early this
morning Jacob Fur"necker a boiler maker,
was found lying near the tracks near the
Exchange street crossing with two bad
holes in his head. lie was under the intlu-
encc OF liquor and was struck by a passing
train. His recovery is probable.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
4 General Stampede.

Never was such a rush made Tor any
Drug Store Is is now NJ Logan K Co. : for
Trial Bottle Of pr. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption. Coughs and Colds All
persons afflicted with Asthma, Bronchitis,
Hyarscncss. Severe Coughs. or any siiec-
tiuus Of the Throat and Lungs, can get
Trial Bottle OF this great remedy Tor ten
cents. by calling at above drug store,
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

VIII receive to-day:
400 boxes choice yellow peaches
IS boxes plums.
50 boxes Bartlett pears.
20 barrels sweet pOtstoes.
% boxes Messina lemons
HkRNIrZ Rios & Co,
1920 Main street,
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
For SALE.

nor SALE-THE STOCK AND ~.
Il will OF well equipped job printing ngl
in this city; or will Sell material IN 7,'"
suit. For further particulars enquire Al H.
Office. 80
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
NOTES.

Charley Heinlein', two-bascr to left was
Il beauty
To day the Stars Of Petersburg will try
to repeat the dose.
Rowe made the catch OF the game, red
hot liner from Burkley'S bat.
There will b. no games next week, the
State Fair having possession OF the grounds.
Tomorrow and Saturday the Browns, the
second best club Of Pittsburg, will be here,
and good games can be expected.
The Standards >ay the Neshannocks are
the most pleasant set ot gentlemen that
have visited Wheeling this season,
The Standard, do not approve Of beer or
pool selling, and say they will not allow
it. You are right boys, Stick to it.
The Standards expect to make a short
trip next week, playing in New Castle on
Friday and in PIttsburE on Saturday.
The Standards are too much disposed to
kick This quality i becoming offensive
TO their friends and disgusting to visitors.
The game advertised Tor yesterday morn
ing dId not take place. The ParkerSOurg
club declining TO play. Us some 81 their
men were sick.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

WN>mN.roN. September II \. M.-tor
the Tennessee and Ohio valley, partly
cloudy weather and loo / rains, variable
winds. lower barometer and stationary or
higher temperature.
For tie lower Lake region. slightly warm
er, lair w,athe.. variable winds lower bar
Omter stationary or higher temperature.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
AyALyABLE IL

o, nearly 500 pages. ON - .ralih' d"N".'i''
and undcvclopcd. Of West Virginia hs ~.
distinguished authorities as IT'9' ."'nS
FELLOW Of the BoyGl dcGorny' I/,'".'
Prot Foniatee, of the University ana u
SNEAKER. Geo. H. Mecen, will he sent ~
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
t1waysIR stock.

A well selected stock of Fine Field
Glasses, Telescopes and Barometers at I. G.
billions Jewelry Store.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

BgIcHT's DISEASE OF the Kidneys, Diabetes
and other Diseases Of the Kidneys and Liv-
or, which you are being so frightened
about. Hop Bit,crs is the only thing that
will surely and permanently prevent aid
cure. All ther pretended cures only relieve
Tor time sEd then make you many times
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
the WEALTH

rTba e,terprise OF the WHEELING RT"iSls'
r.ra,m,y.,I and nppreS lated by the p'"lhr h'i' -.
is m" E,yuiT.r Ui this state Ny'gi'',''. ~
Dominion.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
MODEL NAP OF WEST VIRGINIA.

II will show all the County and MagiI'fi"
District lines, Senatorial and 'onrrcs'l'i'"
District lines, Railroads built and certain "
be built in the near future, Railroad Ntt''"h''
Post-ofliccs, tho area in acres Of each county
population of counties. vote Of each county
ut the last presidential election. politics 81
each county, Geological sections OF u" H''''
and Il hundred other things 81 value 'n
size IL will be about % x 81 inches.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

Wilt receive to-day.
fuo toes choice yellow peaches.
- boxes plums.
% buNes Eartlett pears.
81 barrels sweet potatoes.
- boxes Mcssina lemons.
ZAENIrZ, BEOS. & Co,
ISoO Main street
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

TIE MODEL MAP THE MODEL MA'
THE MODEL MAP OF THE HohEL hhT
THE MODEL MAP WEST TEE MmnL ,.,, a..
THE MODEL MAP ,,.,,.,. lhE M"''
THE MODEL MAP VRGlhlA TIRE MODEL "'F
THE MODEL. MAI 1882. THE MODEL MAT
THE MODEL MAP THE MODEL MAJ
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
FIRE RECORD.

RosroN, September 6-The Ocean House
at Swampsco,t. was destroyed by fire, to-
night. Loss $4,000. The house contained
one hundred and fifty rooms. The guests
escaped with their baggage.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
THE EALTH

THE WEALTH THE WEALTH
THE WEALTH OF THE WEALTH
THE WEALTH WEST The " n e., : = Tn
IuE WEALTH ,r,c,,,, hn ..,". r'rr
THE WEALTH 1882 TIE "EALIh.
THE WEALTH TIE WEALTH
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

The REGISTER has paid coTe-i''" ind
intelligence and integrity in every ~ ..1 n.
the state, whose business 1t Is 10 '-''.', 49,. Of
paper with all that interest u. ,,,fr,y,.
his locality to aid every c.ol .. - -, ti,. re-
ment, and in the deve'ol'H IN,
sources of the State. Ana It 40" -" r,,,.
Correspondent. in the PF'''' -. IL, gath.
or the country, who are woe o.. 90 p.oat tho
ering that which will in'e'o'
people Of West Virginia. r,
THE MARKET nrroh'' .s-,a
or the leading cities. at hon. -. We ns'''
constitute = valuable feature
IsTER.
,,.i. p,ynr & Co are inc a.. .ur n''
LeNlS ven m the country o. SO. Is
-, Which c-crPes mr. s-'-f~"
s.ud fer d sprclusu cop' CIVIC
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
THE REGISTER
TIE MODEL MAP.

ave cordially recommend 1t to our reader, A..
model Family new spaper." Mprga'HytrnI"'i "'p'
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

WILL receive to-day
700 boxes choice yellow perches.
- boxes plUms.
~ boxes BaItl pears.
80 barrels sweet potatoes.
- boxes MCssina lemons.
ZAESIrL. BRuS. & Co.,
1920 Main street.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
THE REGISTER

THE REGISTER THE REGISTER
THE REGISTER THE REGISTER
THE REGISTER TIE REGISTER
THE REGISTER WEEKLY THE KEilsIEH
THE REGISTER THE REGISTER
THE REGISTER TIE REulHIhh
THE REGISTER THE REGlsIER
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

Mrs. NJ WATCHER, Sprirgaale Pa. Ny
Chronic Catsrrh is much better, frola the
Use VI PLEuSA.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
THE MODEL MAP.

Tho REGISTER IA Keeping step with %" 'N'f.
ross and prosperity no" NOu'H'a'p 10
state. = hdHduhd Gdseue.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

"Th. Rro,1rrg Is ,9s be, iG ia eGxcGn bang ~
L,,roh DIIy TG7's1' tlnd''
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
Price OF nap. St'Vo
Weekly Register, ST."
THE u.p ASA PHEnICN.

The Map will be sent rs a rrrmicm 10 all
nersons who remit $40 for the WEEKLY
RrGtsrEK, one year, aud 10 cents to pay post
age on the Nap.
"Thp REDf>TFR i really IN cnIy aa..s a.
p,upT In the state - e"'-''''S ''''S
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
THE REGISTER.
Wkssii~a Rssiatsr.
LEWIS BAKER 4 90.
TERMS.

PER YEAR. by MAIL, POSTAGE PREPAID.
DAILY, six days in the week ...............sS ~
DAILY. three days in the week. ~
WEEKLY REGISTER--............... ~
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
A series OF articles on the
,..Iaped Riches OF the stat

TndcVeIOPed HIches OF INV W.T."
Carefully and thoughtfully prepared ~
most fascinating writer, will be prin''' .
the REGISTER running through the CO.
wear. These articles, will alone, be 80
any West virginian, many times To- i'
Of the paper.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07

The proprietors of the WHEELS" kF"''.
TER have engaged the services of gentlemen
well qualified for the task, 10 get up W."
,-;u roo,IiIy ha conceded In be- "A
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
We append the score:
welch struck by batted bail.

Inning<-l ) / :
standard nd u u ) U y u )
NcshannockS ............O : y '-
Earned runs. Standard ;, NcShannock |.
Two.base hits, +. Walker, Richard. on ana T.
HCinlein. ., ~
Tn,al base on clean hits standard y, Ne
shamrock To-
Struck out Standard ), NeShannOck ,.
of ON bu>,.S Standard :, NCShHunOCk t.
lime OF game. hours and ID minutes.
Umpire, Wallace.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
Indications.

7AN.f.W.%T.N pm. IAN N. 3PS. 7P.s.
90 IW uu ~ - ~ - NJ
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
HOTEL ARRIVALS.
No. James Hotel, September G. 1882.

ET Fdgcrtun, Pitts ! Hrll, ParkcrSlurg
j W Coats lruntOn \ g Henry, ChD
W IlollingswOrth, I L Smith, do
Flushing X Eaton. 1t ClaIrSv'c
Fley, Newark J NJ Larrar AMI wife.
II Johnston HaTTiSNillc
II Ames, WCllslun \ DOrroncr. PhilR
r T. Nichols X NJ = Miss II DchaIn- PITTS
j Il MCt'lung, Phila Miss = MuritySlar, do
G. Graham. - isterSv'c II q Parish. BALTIC
q Graham, Jr., do W Tucker. Brown Isld
/ \ Parks, Madeleine Is FreebUrg, CinCin
y Il Johnson, do NJ Taylor, Baltimore
= Green,S Matamoras ! Fmsey, Pittsburg
ID 1hOmpsOn, do & II Nickerman, Cleve
nSwrCncy .MOrg'nt'nt weigsnd, Elyria
j BlunkinSOp. Welsh VI G. Hogan, Canton
f. Han Ian ,Philadel J Dnnchou, t'olumbrsS
II NJ eyerdird, do W Jones. IittlctOn
W COmStOCk ,SHndus'yR GcSSby, BarnumS
las I Gee. Grafton show
W Stephens & wife, do
Star Ease Ball Club. Parkersburg:
L Schaffer Hull
l. EgISpr W Nash
W Mann J " DO'an
Ed Kelley Geo Campbell
y Mcfarland l. Hemp
I FLAG
WILL receive to-day:
400 boxes CT dice yellow peaches.
- boxes plums.
30 boxes Bartlett pears.
80 barrels sweet potatoes
- boxes MeSsina lemons.
ZARNITZ. Bros & Co,
1920 Main street.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
SATIN GLOSS!
SATIN GLOSS :!

You can find it at the following
reliable groceries:
r. J. sMYTH, cor. Market and Fourteenth
streets. ~ -. $500,
Mis-. PETER DOlAN. Sixteenth stre9t'
+. e. JEFFERS cor. Sixteenth JACOB sIS;
4. ". BARTON, Centre Wheeling Marhe'
+, W. WEITZELL, Market street, Centre
H. F. BEHRENS, European Steamship
r A. SEAMON. Virginia ST., Island.
g. X McMEt HEN, Market street
J. 5. WEITY, Market street.
j. Is CRAWFORD, Market street
whRTHFE 4 TEIMAN, Market st.
j. H. DIEHL & co. Main etrect.
LOUIS GREIEER, Main street.
SCHULTZ BROS, Market street ia
T.. e. REID, Zane ST., Island Ni-
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
MILL RECEINE TODAY,

400 boxes Choice yellow Peaches
20 boxes PlumS,
30 boxes Bartlett Pears,
80 bbl~. Sweet Potatoes.
20 boxes MC~Sina Lemons.
ZAENiIE SI;OS. " CO.,
1920 Nain Street.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-09-07
EARLY ENTRIES.
Made for the West Virginia State Fair
and Exposition.

Wei resent below list OF the entries
made fof the trottlng, pacing, running and
bicycle races which have been arranged for
the fair next week. 1t will be seen that in
the list of entries there are some very fine
animals and the prospect for a week OF I'M
preoedented sport are very fine. Mr.. {. L.
Rose has been at some trouble and pains.
under the direction of the Secretary and
Directors, in looking upaId securing many
of these announced below, and to him We
are indebted for many of them.
The prospects for 4 fair are daily bccom-
Ing more gratifying and exhibitors from
all quarters are writing fo- space. Many OF
the local exhibitors are already Al work
upon the quarters allotted them, and pro
fitting BY their experience of last year, 1t Is
highly proba' ic that they will Surp2Ns
even The excellent exhibits made at that
time.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-25
A Mothers Remarks.

A fond mother leaned from vine
embowered window the other evening,
and in tones soft as gentle mothers
love could make them, called to her
beautiful boy: Clarence! Clarence
Clarence Plantagnet Jones! Wander
ing little honey bee, mother hears your
merry prattle in among the flowers.
Come to your tea, my honey-bird."
And just then the mellow hum Of
honey bird twittered out on the gloam-
ing: Dog gone the dog gone luck to
thunder! was trying to make big
black ant fight gray spider in bat
tie, an you hollered and made me
mash big green worm in my fingers.
Dog gone it all !! And the mother,
hiding her smiles behind a well dis
sembled frown, came in to the garden
and said: "Oh, you nasty little pig,
I'll flake the hide off you with a mop
stick, if ever l catch you in the garden
again. Wash your filthy paws now.
and come along to your supper, if you
want any" This, children, strongly
illustrates the difference between poe.
try and blank verse.-Burlingtou
Hawkeye.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-25
Some New Geography for People who
Have not Cut their Eye.teeth.
"What is an ocean 2"

"What is an ocean,"
San ocean is large body of water
entirely surrounded by British ship
yards and covered with British ship
ping"
What is a strait ?"
"Three fingers Of whisky without
any water in it,"
What do we mean by latitude p
Permitting an office-holder to rob
the people and get into Canada with
his swag."
"What course would an American
steamer take in going from New York
to Liverpool"
Don't know. 1t has been so long
since one tried it that she would pro-
bably bring up in San Francisco"
"What is navy"
"a choice collection Of three or four
old hulks which can be cut down or
built up whenever an appropriation Of.
fers chance to steal"
"What are our principal imports
from Russia2"
"Nibiists and canards."
"What are our principal exports to
Spain ?"
"Wooden-headed Ministers"
"What is gulfG"
"The distance between the average
hotel clerk and the guest who wants
front room on the second floor"
"Where are the principal whaling
grounds of the world ?"
"In the district school-houses of
America"
"What is the climate Of Peru?"
at has been red-hot for year past,
but it is cooling off some."
"In going from New York to San
Francisco by water, what capes would
you pass ?"
"Wouldn't go by water. Editors al
ways have passes to go by rail"
Where does our best coffee come
from ?"
."From the grocery
What is an absolute monarchy"
ut is a system of government under
which one man does all the bossing
and keeps his eye out for cold poison,
torpedocs, powder-mines and pistol
balls"
"What is a limited monarchy"
"a system Of government under
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-25

He was asking the conductor how he
managed to build house and buy Il
fast horse out of his $50 month
"You sec" said this noble man, "some-
times we get a way passenger who pay,
quarter or half dollar for his fare.
Well, we flip the money up--heads for
the conductor, tails for the company
But" persisted the Investigator after
the truth, sometimes it must turn up
tails. What do you do then ?" "Oh.
replied the conductor, with an ineha-
BILE contempt, "then we Flip it up again. I"
So that passenger went hore and sold
out his railroad shares-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-25
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