The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-01-19
Interview With a Small Boy.

A small boy leaned out of the rear
third-story window of his fathers house
in BrooNlyn yesterday afternoon, look
ing at the sky, and at times breaking
out with the tune, s.In the North Sea
Lived Whale" His noise attracted
his newspaper neighbor, who also
leaned out and said, ..Well, George,
how are youP"
Use a prisoner locked up on bread
and water George replied, ''just
cause | didn't know it was loaded.
You see, father was in the army, and
last week when you heard him firm of
his pistols he was shootin' at a cat.
He shot five times, and the cat looked
up and smiled when he got frou'. Says
1, Father, did you ever kill man
when YOU was a sodier?' thinking,
you know, that he couldn't shoot fur
cent. He says, s'pose so.' WELL l
saws, you muster bin close enough to
hit him with an AK and he sent me into
the house. Well, l seed where he hid
his pistol in his oyercoat and Yesterday
got it out, an there was an accident.
| felt sure it wasn't loaded, for didn't
hear father fire it off? put it under my
piller, N 1 waited for supper to be
over, cause wanted to scare the girls.
Girls always holler when they see
pistol. Well, our minister come to tea
Ministers are the greatest hands to
come to tea; it's half their work to GO
round an eat suppers with the ladies.
Father went down to the Convention
and Bess and Lily, them's the girls,
went into the parlor to see the minister
didn't get sleepy. Bess,' says I, lend
II f.,ry
utes, want to be an Indian brave i
wrapped the shawl round me, put
fathers cane over my shoulder for 9
gun, m then I got the pistol, m
crept softly down to the parlor
so they wouldn't know Indians
was skirmishin' round their camp. ]
pushed open the door. N there was the
minister and Bess sittin' at opposite
ends of the sofy, N Lii was crocheting
a lamp mat. All was still, N says:
The hour has come Then l give
three whar whoops m rushed in and
said, Surrender or 1 shoot! There
was a panic. The girls went into nys-
terics, m the preacher said, MY son,
mebbe that pistol loaded
Says (. ''S'render, pale chief, or
I'll shoot yer dead in yer tracks Thev
all made rush at me to take the pistol
away, m l fired. Lordv, what a noise.
was skeared most to death. The bull
let went into picture of the signers OF
the Defamation of Independence. and
took off the head of one of the signers.
! The preacher turned pale m said was
a wicked boy. Iknowd it m | knowd
what was goin' to ketch. The girls
cried like as though there was fun raj
N was whipped. 1 dreamed all night
l was fghtin' the Indians, IN when
| woke up this mornin' l felt sure my
name would be in the papers. They
gave me bread m water for breakfast
m wouldn't let me see newspaper.
| So | thought L d escape. l tore up the
| two sheets. tied one end to the bureau
| drawer, and was climbin' down like
! folks 90 at fire, when somethin' give
way. I fell about thousand feet
thought, / came down so hard. hit
| the stone area n it seemed to me as il
it was night and I was lookin' at about
a million stars. l didn't know nothin
for minute. Then I come to-"
What broke?''
"Nothin' broke; the bureau drawer
come out. I oughter tied on to the ga
| fixture. Father wouldn't give me {
newspaper but he gave me anothel
lickin' and some more bread and water
s'pose now IN be a month on breat
N water"
But you mustn't make SO mucl
noise"
THAT was op'ra I was singin'. Dom
you like op'ra? Well, you don't care
play the umpah?' a-s- as
!" What is the umpah?' 81
"Why, didn't you never hear bras
band going down the street? One maj
with little horn goes Ta-te-rent-t ia
ta-ta-ta,' and man with big horl
goes 'um -pah. um-pah, um-pah. That
the umpah l play"
AS the neighbor drew in his head tn
small boy began on the "umpah.' an
he was playing it when the reporte
went away.-N y. San.