St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-12-08
SqIIibS.

The New Bedford man who tainted
away out III Montana was only brought
out of the fit by placing dead fish to
his nose. As he slowly began to re-
vive he murmured GLOW good 1t
smells just like home -
Mistaken as to the animal A wo-
man lately looked at printing press
at work, turned to her companion, and
i'll Il most earnest manner inquired 4:
''Well, Charley, an them's the things
as writes the papers. Be's them what
they call editors ?"
One-sided knowledge One of the
boys, acquainted with Fogg's frequent
changes of abode, asked him which he
thOught the cheaper, to move or pay
rent. 81 can't tell you, my dear boy
replied Fogg; 81 have always moved"
- Boston Transcript.
"Never would call boy of mine
'Alias,'" said Mrs. Jones of Huntsville,
Ala, 'If | had hundred to name.
Men by that name is allus cuttin' up
capers. Here's Alias Thompson, Alias
Williams, Alias, the Night-hawk, all
been took up for stealin."
GLOW can permanently remove an
indelible grease spot from broadcloth
coat ?" George -"Ask your girl how
she removes the grease spots from the
wall paper behind the sofa after you
leave the same preparation ought to
do it, Philadelphia News.
A hotel boaster, who was Wanting
his knowledge of the world before
crowd of newcomers, was asked by
wag ut his elbow if he had ever been
I l.ra H.
said he, 81 passed through there on top
of stage about year ago"
Langtry Nilsson Patti All in
America at once. All taking away
American money in heaps. Why has
no one gone before the tariff commits
sion and demanded protection for
home talent 2 The duty on Langtry
ought to he at least 500, ,0O0.-[ Louis
vile COurier-JOurnal.
ain carving partridge" says Sgd
ney Smith, 81 splashed Mrs. Markham
with gravy from head to foot and
though | saw three distinct rills of the
brown liquid trickling down her cheek,
| she had the cOmplaisance to declare
| that not drop had reached her. Such
circumstances are the 'triumphs of
civilized life"
Time Will Tell. Doctor, (watch in
one hand, feeling patients pulse with
| the othcr)-"Ah, Smith, you've not
been confining yourself to tea. And
you've been smoking" Smith Well,
sir, it's no use my gOin' agin that watch
% yourn. Wonderful watch she be I,
| never seen none afOrc t could tell ye
mOrc'n what o'clock it is r'-[ London
Fun.
"Be you DIR. Hamilton ?" asked a
countryman who had dropped in at
the Office of the eminent New York
surgeon. "That's my name," respond
ed the doctor. "Well, thought, as
was in town for IA day or two, I'd Just
call round and thank ye." "You're
very kind, but | was not aware that
you were under any obligation to me-
"That's what came to tell We about.
It's this way: I'd been sick for more n
three years with the rheumatic, all the
time ii groanin' and a cussin' and "A
growlin', but the very minnit | see
your bill for hOverin' around our late
president, Doc, got well.n
Robert j. Burdette of the Burlington
Hawkeye, in his recent valuable trea-
tise on equestrianism, thus pictur-
esquely describes the English style of
riding, which is, of course, like every
thing English, the only correct thing
''HOu will shorten the stirrups until
the knees are on "A level with your chin.
Then as you ride you will rise to your
feet, and stand in the attitude of a
man peering over the fence to look for
his dog, and then suddenly fall in the
saddle, like "a man who has stepped on
IA banana peel. This is the English
school. 1t is hard on the horse, but it
is considered very graceful \ man
cannot wear false teeth, however, and
ride III this manner"
A drunken man was swaying un-
steadily in ii Virginia street. when II
dog, with ii tin pan tied to his tail. ran
between his legs. The collision was
so forcible that the man was upset. and
the dog ran on minus "A piece of its
tail. The man got up bewildered,
rubbed the bruised end of his spinal
column, picked up the dogs tail, and
thus sOliloquizcd "ThIs is (hic) I'M
, fortunate Never before knowed OF
suspected had such a thing as a tail
till go and fall down and break it off.
Z Might make "A (hic) fortune 'zibitin'
myself as man with tail. There'd
been millions in it-millions (hic) in it
Just my luck. Whenever | get good
thing it's always gone before | (hic)
find it out"