The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1882-04-22
ALL SORTS.


Bats always shear of the wings OF flies
before eating them.
Boaz, of the Bible, had his Ruth, but
modern bores are ruthless.
Every good man who has had second
wife win be Mormon in heaven.
There is about $40, 900 900 OF railroad
property in Jersey City exempt from
| taxation.
There are ten railroads chartered to
| cross the line between the United States
and Mexico.
Chicago has the largest Hebrew popu.
lation of any city of equal numbers in
the world.
When Dame saw Jupiter descending
in d shower of gold she simply remarked,
s'The rain is ore.
Liverpool seems to DR.. Lyman Abbott
Fan odd combination of Boston solidity
aad Bowery garishness.
AIN innocent person asked an edito,
| the difference between prose and poetry
and the editor replied that prose was
read.
II it Is your purpose in life to make
your face your fortune, you must look
| we'll to it or it will turn out to be your
misfortune.
A lecturer is telling 'tHow We Hear. ;
Ut is easily told. Somebody tells friend
| Of ours, and tells him not to tell; that's
the way we hear.
Montenegro has modified her army,
which will march upon Vienna as soon
as proper outfit of shoes and stockings
can be provided for him.
| The man who never told q lie never
paid compliment. A compliment, by
the way, is relished by the recipient in
| inverse ratio to its truth.
| Arabella Whose soul is wrapped in
| science): Charles, isn't this nice?
Charles (who is deeply interested in Ara
bella): .Nicel it's delicious"
People who are tired of this weary
| world had better move to Glendive. NJ.
T. Of the thirteen people who have died
there, only two died natural death.
Brown and Fogg fell on the slippery
walk, the other morning. Fogg says
he isn't exactly acquainted with Brown,
but they have been thrown together in
society.
"Woman," says Mrs. Eastman sis a
problem" So she is; and though q
problem we can never hope to solve, it
is one We shall never, never be willing to
give up.
It is calculated that in London child
is born every five minutes.-Ex. A
child that is born every five minutes
| must be world of trouble and expense
to its parents.
A poem entitled 'sThree Kisses of
FAREWELL" has been received from a
young lady In Iowa. The old gentle
man seems to have come home rather
early that evening.
When party of respectable Cincin-
| natians go to Paris to see the sights, it's
| q little mean in certain newspapers to
announce that Cincinnati hams have
| invaded Paris in fofce."
Magistrate-"Do you know the nature
of an oath, my hoy?" Witness prompt
ly)-"Yes, sir. Must take it, sir-'relse
can't be 'memb'r O. Parli'ment, sirr'
asked him where he had taken up his
abode. "Ohr' he replied, I'm living
by the canal for the present. I should
be delighted if you'd drop in some even
ing" Then left him.
NJ. Richenbach, in noticing the state
ment that DR.. E. G. Spitzka found in
the egg of turtle a live maggot, says
that he once found in hens egg small
piece Ct printed paper.
Some years ago Miss Libbie Minklel
of Rochelle, ILL.,, lost both arms by fail.
ing in front of a reaper. To-day she is
earning good living by oil painting
holding the brush in her teeth.
Miss Julia Test of Richmond, Ind,
has just recovered watch lost in Pull.
man sleeper three years ago. In rebuild
ing the car the workmen found the
watch wedged in corner of the birth.