Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1882-11-09
The Splendid Fountain.
ABOUT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL IMPRoNPTU
DEVICE or MR.. sPooPESDYKE.


iBrooklyn EAgle.
My dear" said Mr.. spoopendyke. as he
planted the nozzle Of the street sprinkler
aud braced II with bricks so il would squirt
straight up, My dear, that makes consider
able OF fountain. wish had thought OF
it before"
Upon my word" giggled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. why you really are an inventor.
That's the best fountain | ever saw 4; but
how are you going to take it down." and
Mrs. Spoopendyke contemplated the foun-
tain with considerable misgiviny.
"Don't want to take ii down" grunted
Mr.. Spoopendyke. 1T comes down itself
BY the natural law of gravitation. Did you
suppose that water intended 10 squirt up IN
the air and wait for me TO bring 1t down on
a step ladder Got some kind of notion
tina, was going to tie rope around that
water and haul It down. hadn't We? Well.
l'm not, and amt going to offer it any
chromos to come down either" And Mr.
Spoopendyke seated himself on the lower
step and eyed his fountain with great deal
of satisfaction.
How long are YOU going TO let il squirt p
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to have
the trouble begin that It might be over the
sooner
'Oh, guess about 20 feet" replied Mr.
Spoopendyke, measuring the height Of the
stream with ms eye and chuckilng to HIM
self. That's about as long as the pressure
will permit and thought I'd let it 20 that
far before hltched il up" and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke shook all over as the full strength
Of the joke impressed itself upon him.
AL. L
the water IN silence.
"P'raps you think can't get that foun-
tam apart without getting wet" said Mr..
Spoopendyke at length. Maybe YOU have
imbibed the idea that when turn that wa
ter of I'm going to be soaked. Well, I'm
not The head that invented that fountain
knows how to keep itself dry" and Mr..
Spoopendyke got up and walked around his
priEe, his face beamIng with smiles. The water
was falling in a perfect shower upon the
Key box. and in the afternoon sun the foun-
tam looked remarkably pretty.
Mrs. Spoopendyke made no response but
patiently awaited Developments.
Nov bring me the umbrella" said Mr..
Spoopend.ke, preparing himself for the
closing triumph. bring me forth the fiery.
untamed umbrella and as Mrs Spoopen-
dyke handed II TO him he raised it, picked
up his KEY and approached the stream. The
umbrella protected him from the down pour.
but as he bent over 10 turn the water off
the Kissing shaft struck under the gIngham
and raising the umbrella with vicious Jerk,
tipped Mr.. Spoopendyke over on his beam
ends.
.'Dod gast the measIy squirt - he yelled
So kus
sant to distract my attention for - and he
shook the umbrella at his wife as he rose
dripping 10 his feet. Another time vi hen
I'm hAIn this fountain YOU se; under the
bed, le hear ?" and Mr.. Spoopend, g
glarrd around him and approached the enc
my once more.
This time he held the umbrella straight
out before him, cropping along behind it
with the KEY He had almost reached the
rod when The stream struck the outside OF
the umbrella, and as il whirlcd, Mr Spoo-
pcndyke spun around, landing in a sitting
position on the fountain. which lifted him
about foot and rolled him in the gutter
That's what ye were waiting To see, was
It III he shouted as he climbed to his feet
and shook his fist at ms trembling wife
Been rnoNting up there to watch this dis
play Of genius against brute force Got an
idea md Away somea here that this fountain
and me amt on friendly terms :" and he
~hanged the umbrella across the steadily
pouring stream, got caught once more and
landed IN the gutter again, this time on the
back Of his neck. How dive like the
show" he squealed, bounding to his feet
There's gong 20 be a concert after the CIR
Gus and he charged once again with his
umbrella, which this time was ierked out of
his hands and rolled over into the street.
Procure Your tickets Of the gen!iemanl,
u'hers +" and he grabbed his weapon and
made another onslaught. Not that the
circus performance is concluded ," he con-
timed a. he fell clear over the stream and
rolled into the umbrella The best Is vet
to come" and in irving 10 straighten the
umbrella which had turned inside out he
caught the fountain again and slid down on
II on to the curbstune with a sound ike a
buus starter on barrel
MY dear, why don't YOU" began Mrs
Spoop,nd,ke.
Amt | - roared her husband. "P'raps
YOU know more about the personal habits of
tins dod gasied squirt than | du?" and he
slammed At II with the umbrella and kick ed
al II until his leg vas loose MAY be
you've got some political influence here ?"
and lowering his head behind the umbrella
he charged again. The water tipped the
umbrella straight. poured up into it and fell
IN deIuge On Spoopend,ke's head and
shoulders. don't be alarmed ladies'" he
squeaied. There's no danger! :" and be
smashed the umbrella down over ii, like an
extInguisher. "A competent corps of dod
gasted officials always on hand =" but at tins
juneture the umbrella ripped from handle To
~halebone tip, the stream caught Mr..
Spoopend,ke under the chin and landed him
pale and gasping against the fence.
This Is what | mean, dear" said Mrs.
SPooPendyke, boldly approaching the foun-
tam, kicking the nozzle over and turning
the water of. This is what | wanted"
81 know what We want" yelled Mr..
SpOopendyke, fairly beside himself with
rage when he saw how easy it was done
You only want little political influence
and brick chimney to be board of water
commissioners! II | could kick like YOU,
I'd build wall around me, get into a wash
tub and rent out as a reservoir If that's
all We wanted, what made We howl for
fountain' If ye only wanted to kick it
over, what made ye stand around and devil
me into building that squirt ?7 Mr.. Spoop-
endyke wrenched off the hose without wait
ing to uncouple it, and started for the house.
Are you wet, dear ?" asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, regarding him affectionately.
"Weti" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke "Man
is four-fifths water and the other fifth of me
is a little moist that's ALL" and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke plunged up stairs and into bed
al don't care murmured Mrs Spoop-
endyke. 'He didn't stand still long enough
to get chilled, and if he keeps mad for an
hour longer he won't catch cold,' and, act
ing on this new 'pathy. Mrs. Spoopendyke
busted herself at the bedside until her hus-
band fell asleep from the exhaustion of an
ger and snored the snore of the just.