Daily Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1876-1884, 1882-06-16
FUN, FACT AND FANCY.

A Pennsylvania man who owed a
horseshoe nail is kicking lively.
Motto of Washington politicians eff
You wish thing preserved, put it in the
bureau"
Clara Louise Kellogg will not sing
any more after she gets married 1t is
said she will lecture. Baltimore Ameri-
can.
An exchange says that nothing is per-
feet except the first baby. "a perfect
nuisance growls the double-dyed ia
ther OF the Norristown Herald.
Nothing makes so much noise as a
rickety wagon with nothing in it, un-
less it be man who insists on talking
when he has nothing to say.-N. Y.
Herald.
The trout season has begun down East.
The polls open with about the usual
proportion, four liars to the front and
none Of the upper wards in yet.-Bur-
iington Ha,ckeye.
If it takes boy twelve years of age
twenty-five minutes to bring III six small
sticks OF wood, how long will it take
him to walk mile and q half to see a
circus procession
ssYou are as full of airs as music
box, is what young man said to a girl
who refused to let him see her home
''That may be, was the reply, 'but
don't 60 with a crank.
The author of .'See that my Grave i
kept Green, is in Jail at Indianapolis
Show this item to the poets and song
writers in your neighborhood. Il ostol
Post. Let the good work go on.
A Philadelphia editor bears the nam
of Comet. He should have no difficult,
in providing tale for his paper, but i
ishoped he will not get out of his orbit
and pitch into the Sun or World.-Nor
ristocn Herald.
A lazy young man complained that hi
was overwork ed in his business, to which
the father replied: 81 suspect, George
that overwork is not your trouble, but
that it is that you need working over.
Home Treasure.
Eli Perkins cut open a Florida ALI
gator and found pine knots in its stom
ach. That's nothing. An alligator il
not obliged to make diet off of rocks
and gravel banks all the year round.-
Detroit Free Press.
The Texas Christian Adcocate say:
that thousands of good men are spoiled
by marrying the wrong woman. The
woman who marries thousands of good
men must be very wrong, and no wonder
the good men are spoiled.
An oriental traveller says: 81 have
seen heavy man fired several yards
into dense crowd by the kick of {
camel, and picked up insensible." The
American mule used to 60 to school to
the camel. journal.
A Denver reporter asked Alice Oates
the actress, how old she was, and sh
replied, Il am twenty-five" "Wer
you twenty two recently inquired tn
reporter, innocently, at which the littl,
kicker said she detested newspaper re-
porters.
Old Mrs. Skittleworth don't know
why people will make counterfeit
money. She says she ''tried to pass a
bad half dollar dozen times the Other
day, but nobody would have it, and
she thinks it waste of time to make
such stuff.
Now that ladies bonnets are made of
glass, such remarks as these will fall on
our ears: ''George, dear, | think you
might get me cut glass bonnet like
Mrs. Sprouts, instead of making me
wear this horrid thing made of common
lager-beer glass.
No matter how much is spent on a
Jail, it can never be made attractive to
its occupants. Winchester, Ind, was
quite proud of its new Jail which cost
$35, ZOO. A few hours after it was
opened for business two of the prison
ers had managed to pry off a CRATE and
escape.