The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-06-20
LOCKING THE TRUNK.
Mr.. SpOopendyke Undertakes q
Task Which Afterward Proves
to Have Been Entirely
Unnecessary.
BROOKLYN Eagle.

Unnecessary.
Brooklyn Eagle.
"My DEAR" said Mrs. Spoopendvke as
she arose from her knees hot and tired
from packing, and rubbing the small of
her back as she strsightened up, 81 am
all through now and | wish you would
lock the trunk
Certainly" replied Mr.. Spoopendyke,
dropping his paper and slamming down
the lid. Gall you've got to do is to just
TO fit the hssp in the lock and turn the
kew Sop
But the key didn't quite turn, and Mr..
Spoopendyke hit the hasp with the side
+, OF his fist and tried it again.
"Don't it work p asked Mrs Spoop.
end, Ike, watching the proceeding with
considerable interest
"It'll work if you'll let it Alone" said
Mr.. Spoopendyke severely and he raised
the lid, dropped it again, pounded the
hasp and wreDched at the key with all
his strength. "Stand back and give me
room, can't your" he growled, as he
pressed down on the cover and gave the
key quick twists in vain effort to catch
the lock unswares
why don't you rest your weight on
it and let me lock itp" asked Mrs
Spoopendyke, duttering around her his
band and wondering if he was thorough
" aware that his plug hat was immedi-
ately under the lid.
"Have you got the time to keep away
from this thing and let me work it 7" de-
Danded Mr.. Spnopendyke, contempla-
ting his wife with Spartan expression
of visage. "S'pose l can do anything
with YOU sitting on my elbow2 Ii fyou'll
go down cellar for minute I'll lock
this trunk" and Mr.. Spoopendyke bang
ed away at the hasp and breathed hard.
But his best efforts could only turn the
key half wav.
"Oh! amt glad you couldn't lock
it" exclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, anx
ious TO stay her husbands growing
wrath 81 forgot to put in your walking
cane"
"Dod CAST the cane!' sputtered Mr..
Spoopendyke "S'pose it's going to
lock anv easier with a dod-gasted walk
ing cane sticking out at one end1 Who
says can't lock it2 What's the reason
can't lock it ?" and he stood off and
fetched the hasp a tremendous kick
AN, thing else you've forgotten to put
in?" and he sprang on the lid and ting
ged at the key with his head thro wn back
and his teeth set. "Got couple Of mir
rors you want in here2 Any china
around the house that wants ride in
this trunk2 Want to put in that dod-
gasted ass on the top floor who tries to
pay the 6ddle?" and he Topped off on
the floor and banged at the hasp again.
'Let me sit on it," suggested Mrs
Spoopendyke. climbing up without wait
ing for response. "Now try it,
Mr.. Spoopendyke fumbled around and
worked al the basp and key, bat fruit
lessIy.
Cant ye sit any harder than that P"
he yelled, as the KEY stuck and wouldn't
turn either way. "'Fraid Of breaking
the measly thing2 Press down, can't
ye?'
Mrs Spoopendyke SO iirmed around
and said, "Now, DEAR" and then looked
over to see how be was getting on, but
still the lock was obdurate.
"Dod CAST The measly trunk y howled
Mr.. Spoopendyke, firing the key out Of
the window and giving the trunk fare
we'll kick. "If you want it locked you
get blacksmith and steam derrick" !"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke threw himself into
chair and pretended to bury himself in
his paper,
81 don't know how we're ever going
to get it open." said Mrs. Spoopendyke
after long lence.
"Get what openT' srowled her hus-
band.
"Fhe trunk Now l remember, it's
got a spring lock, and when you took
the kew out it locked itself. don't sup
pose we can ever find the key"
That's it," yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"You know all about it now! Whv
didn't you tell me it was a spring lock ?
What dye keep it to yourself for ?"
II forgot" whispered Mrs Spoopeu-
dyke; "but 1t will be all right. can
open it."
"Oh, you can open itr' snorted Mr.
Spoopendyke. You're an opener! All
you want is to be sharpened on both
sides TO be an oyster knife! With dark
lantern and skull cap you'd make full
set of burglars tools! On, yes, you'll
open it! II you had loose handle and
one corner knocked of you'd get rich
as a screw-driver and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke tore out of the house to see if he
could borrow something to pry open the
unfortunate trunk.
THAT gives me time to pack the va
lise," murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, 'and
ae I've got another key to the trunk
we'll do pretty well, after all" and the
worthy lady began to jun night shirts
and hair oil into the bag, together with
sand wches and tooth brushes, wonder
ing betimes whether Mr. SpoopendYke's s
silk hat had been so badly smashed thai
1t wouldn't do to go fishing in on rainy
days, even il it did not look we'll enough
for church