St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-07-21
SqIIibS.

Beef is so scarce and high that IA
gentleman of this city is having a sir
lOin steak set for breastpin.- Boston
Courier.
A circus man who was wanted by
Colorado constable betoOk himself to
the lions cage, and, safely enscOnced
therein, taunted that constable and in
vited him in. That constable with
drew his warrant unserved.
When the Old Testament is revised
and mOdernized, it will probably state
that Adam, after eating the apple, re
ceived word that his resignation would
be accepted.
Travelling on the Baltimore and Ohio
railroad track, they came to mile
post, when one of them said: "Tread
aisy, Pat. Here lies man one hun
dred and eight years old. His name
was Miles, from Baltimore"
At a dinner party, clumsy footman
spills the contents of a sauce-bOat over
the dress of one of the guests. GLOW
clumsy What a PITY" says the lady
of the house chow could you do such
a thing AS likely as not there won't
be sauce enough to go round, now !"
A lady who was preparing bathing
suits for a trip East for the summer
wrote to an eastern fashion paper to
know what the style of bathing suits
wotIld be for children, say from five to
six years old. She received reply
that this year the bathing suits for
boys were very simple, consisting of
wad of cotton i'll each ear. The lady
will add to this suit a red yarn string
around her boys neck and let him 90
loose Milwaukee Sun.
If few more women will lust invent
few more medicines and have their
portraits published with the advertise
ments thereof, the daily paper will
soon look like Il photograph album
Burlington Hawkeye.
"When grow up, III he man,
won't ?" asked little Austin boy of
his mother. ayes, my son; but if You
want to be a man you must be indus
| triOus at school and learn how to be
have yourself" ''Why, mamma, do
| the lazy boys turn ont to he women
when they grow up?"
Marion county, Ga, is dumbfounded
over preacher asking for his back
salary for three years. He had been
paid SI5, and that was thought to be
enough to run him for several years
yet The Christian at Work.
Mems nightgowns are now built with
pockets in. This will fill want long
felt by commercial travellers who have
heretofore been compelled to claw
around under the pillow when they
needed their flask n. Y. Com. ADV.
Physician -"And is that all you are
going to give me-twenty marks for
forty visits ?n Miser-''I should think
that was enough. You must consider
that if hadn't been sick you wouldn't
have had anything Fliegende Blat-
ter.
One of the stall keepers at the Cen
trail market had IA basket of vegetables
to 90 to a house on Fourth street, and
calling to a whitewasher who was
hanging around for "A job he said to
| him,
"Here, old man, take this basket to
No. IA Fourth street, and | will give
YOU IA watermelon"
The colOred brother closed his bar
| gain at once, and upon his return, after
Il suspiciOusly brief absence, the man
handed him the two halves of green
melon.
81 promised you melon and here it
is" he said, as he clapped the halves
together.
''But dat mellyon amt ripe, boss"
Cant help that. | didn't specify
that would give you a ripe one"
''Dat's so, boss, but didn't specify
what time dis summer should tote
dat basket up dar either, an ! kinder
reckOned dat it was best to leave it in
"a lumber yard till | saw de size and
color of de mellyOnl Pears like |
hain't much behind in dis trade"
He had a ripe melon under his arm
rs he started off to finish his errand.