Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-02-01
SPICE AND ALLSPiCE.

tell the man who voted 'syes'' on the
license question, by the appearance Of
his "no's."
ONE would say after the avalanche of
governors addresses just now, that the
country had sold it's birthright for pot
OF message Transcript.
IT is all humbug about tramps being
lazy and not willing to exert themselves.
One Of them, near Marshall, chased q
farmer a mile and half with club
Teas Syftjngs.
Chow did you travel. Jones, when
you were in India?" ooh, by the
trunk line, principally" This is re-
garded by the friends Of the aforesaid
Jones as an elephantine joke.
A YOUNG widow was asked why she
was going to wed SO soon after the death
of her first husband So Oh, Ia" said
she, 81 do it to prevent fretting myself
to death on account of poor Tom!'
s. SHOULD like to see somebody adj
duct me, F" said Mrs. Smith at the break
fast table the other morning. "H'm!
SO should I, my dear, SO should T., said
Mr.. Smith with exceeding earnestness.
HELLO! hello Glad to see you
Where you been this long while ?"
"Been? Why, don't you know? I've
been sick a-bed for three weeks. " s. You
don't say Living on tick, as usual, eh p
A LADY who had been travelling in
Italy, was asked by friend how she
liked Venice. "Oh very much, in
Decd" was the reply. 81 was unfor-
just at the time of heavy food, and we
hr1 70 al, no or. oto o4o
The winter is so mild at the north
that the ice crop will have to be replant-
ed Last winter the ice dealers gave as
reason for high prices that the crop
had been eaten up by grasshoppers.
We are not supposed to know any better
down south here.-Te10s SIftimgs.
THEY tell story of little boy,
young scion of the house Of Beecher,
that, ..on being rebuked for his noisy con-
duct in which his sister had some share,
he declared that she ought to be includ-
ed in the shooting. eff [ was bolster
GUS, he said, she was girlsterous.
EXTRACT from young lady's letter:
"And do you know, Maude and l are
quite sure that Captain Popple had
taken too much champagne at the ball,
for be took out his watch and looked
hard at the back Of it, and then nutter-
ed, Blesh my soul! I hadn't any idea it
was that time O night.
Forty years ago, when Mrs. Mowatt
was playing "JuGet" to a crowded
house, and she lay dead in the tomb,
she contrived to ask Romeo" how the
scene was going. g Beautifully" he
answered, "the people down stairs have
to but up umbrellas to prevent being
drowned by the tears of those in the
gallery"
The old man sighed as he took the
golden-haired, laughing boy upon his
knees, and stroking his shining tresses,
said: ''Ah, how much I should like to
feel like child again" Little Johnnie
ceased his laughter, and looking soberly
up into his grandfather's face, remarked:
"Then why don't you get mamma to
spank you?"
AN Austin CTex.) clergyman, whose
name we suppress on account OF his sa-
cred calling, was absorbed in thought
few Sundays ago, just before divine SER
vice began, when he was approached by
the organist, who asked, referring to the
opening hymn: "What shall play ?"
'sWhat kind of hand have you got ?"
responded the absent-minded clergy
man.
A YOUNG man who was proud of his
atheism was once riducling the story OF
David and Goliath, asserting that it was
impossible for a small boy to throw a
stone with force enough to break the
neck of a giant He appealed to
Quaker in the confirmation of his theory.
"Well," said the man of broadbrim
preiudices, sit all depends. If the
giants head was as soft as thine appears
to be, it could be done easily"
THE question addressed by CORE
spendent, "What is a Bric-a-Brac ?"
cannot be satisfactorily answered at this
time. Anything, from pond lily,
painted on shingle, to a gilt horseshoe
dotted with butterflies, from decorated
toadstool, to "pig penwiper, seems to
come under this head hereabouts. Just
which is the brio" and which the
"brac is matter rather too supremely,
too extensively intensely utter to decide.
-Hackensack Republican.
TEXAS is the healthiest country in the
world. We recently came across a San
Antonio paper, in which it was stated, III
as many words, that ''the remains of a
man, killed forty years ago, were dis
covered ploughing in Central Garden"
In no other state is the air so salubrious
that the remains of man, killed forty
years before, can be seen ploughing.
The attention of iEyalids is called to this
astonishing evidence of the salubrious
quality of the San Antonio atmosphere.
= Ter0s iSSftlngS.
ONE down-trodden preacher is blest
with two sons bright little fellows they
are, too. Now, it is the custom IN that
preachers family for these two lads every
morning to recite a verse of Scripture. The
boys were IN great haste to get out on
hill couple of mornings ago, when the
father said: !s'Now, boys, recite your
verses; then you can coast I'D
rather be doorkeeper in the house OF
the Lord than dwell in the tents of the
wicked" repeated the older lad. "So'd
T." CALCULATED the Junior youth, and
oyvox1 he flew after his sled and the father