The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09
LO AstOnixlses His stomach.

One of the peculiarities Of the latest
United States style of feeding the no.
BILE red-man is the fact that he is given
government ratiolis, and ut the same
time appropriations are made which
are supposed to maintain him. Some
times a wild Indian, who doesn't know
much about groceries and how to pre-
pare them for food, comes in and
draws his regular soldier rations in
this way. For Instance, up In the
Sitting Bull country, a while ago, an
Indian came in from the war-path
who had never seen any Of the pale
face style of food, and drew his rati0ns.
He made light meal of uDground
coffee the first day, and as he ovei ate
and the coffee swelled In him, he had
some difficulty IN buttnniug his pants
around the pain he had on hand. He
felt very unhappy for u day or two,
but laId it to the fact that he hadn't
exercised much, aud the consequent
ennui and indigestion resulting there
from. AS soon as he succeeded in get
ting the interior department quieted
down little he tackled his ration of
candles. These he decided to parboil,
in order to avoid trouble from indi-
a glittering success as he had antici-
pated, and As he remorsely picked the
candle wicking out of his teeth with a
tent pin, he made some remarks that
grated harshly on the aesthetic ears Of
those who stood near. He then tried
a meal of yeast powder with vinegar.
He ate the yeast powder, and then
took pint OF extremely potent vine
~ m, nSh d.Nsn A HrSt
was a feeling of surprise In his stom-
ach, which rapidly gave place to un-
availing remorse. A can of yeast
powder in an Indians midst doesn't
seem to be prepared for pint of vin-
egar, and the result of such an unfor-
tunate circumstance Is not gratifying.
Every little while a look OF pain would
come over the features of the noble
child of the forest, and then he would
Jump about II feet aud try to kick u
sit down and think over his past life.
1t took about IA week for him to get
back to where he dared to get up an
asseed a couple Of pounds Of laundry
soap and ate that. Soap Is all right
Tor external purposes or for treating
" lDdtT vi SDiicu SoCNS, put ~ NVSo hVt
assimilate with the gastric juice read
lily, and those who have tried it as a
relish do not seem to think that IL will
ever be Of prominence rs an art.
Gle Of diet. That Is why this untu-
tored child Of nature swore. He had
never received the benefits of early
training in profanity, aud his Ian.
guage, therefore, was disconnected
and rambling, but when we consider
that he was ignorant Of our language,
aud that every little while he had to
stop aud hold on to his digester with
both hands aud dig great holes In the
earth with his toes, the remarks didn't
seem altogether out Of place or irrele-
want. When u gallon or 80 of agitated
baking powder and vinegar Is singing
its little song In the innermost re-
cesses Of an Indian, aud this has been
followed by q treatment OF laundry
soap, the student of human nature
can find wide field for observation
in that locality. The earnest aud oc-
cupied look, the troubled expression
of the countenauce, folluwed by the
quick nervous twitching of the mus
cles of the face, and then the swelling
up and bursting of the suspender but
ton. the deep drawn sigh aud the
smothered cuss- word. nil betoken OF
the gastric agitation going on within.
This IL why an lndiau prefers link
af bnloffna sausage and two-year-
did dog ~ the high price groceries 80
couasnon 70 our modern civilization