Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-09-05

secondclass matter.1 ~ NieA''iora' Virginia, rs
MOI Line In the Paper that Nobody Reads.
Nos FRANK 6; Tobey of Providence journal lsf,ro
I'M tie Rhode Island Press Association.1
me editor sat in his chair alone
Dusier person there never was known
Mhen IN camea farmer. a jolly old soul,
whose name for long years had been horne
on the roll o''N0
ofpaying subscribers. He had come into
town '''
TO bring his good wife and some farm prod
uce down,
AND having moment or two he could spare
Had run III as usual. to bring in q share
Of his own inward sunshine, to tighten tho
Of the man of the press and his dull cheer
less room.
The EDITORS smile, as he lifted his ewes
And saw who was there was of ioyful sur.
prise;
And ne greeted his friend with a deal of
For good chat with him was like taking u
rest. O
When at length the old farmer got ready to
leave, w
He said, with sly little laugh in his sleeve.
My dear friend, there is one thing iust
want to say
Now, please don't get vexed, for you know
its my way
But what makes you put in each paper YOU
print
so much that is worthless-do you take the
hint? ''''
Well-petty misfortunes-and little mis-
deeds
The editor looked at him square nj the lace,
At first with 4 frown, then q smile took its
place.
"My dear friend" he replied, "I'm surprised
you don't know
Every line i'll the paper is read-but it's so;
And now, if you wish, will make my words
good,
And prove what say as every man should.
I'll put in the very next paper line
Or two about you-in course print or fine,
Whichever you choose, and just where you
may say,
And if you don't find on the very next day
That your neighbors all read it, I promise
Free subscription to you, just as long us
you live"
agreed said the farmer, "you shall sing
Put it right in the middle of one of those
long
Fine-type Notwithstanding never yet knew
Any person of sense to read one of those
through;
If I hear from it twice, will bring down to
you
The best load of garden sauce 1 ever grew"
Then the ''good days" were passed, and the
farmer went out,
And the editor laughed to himself without
doubt,
As he thought of his wager and how it would
end,
And the nice little joke he would have on
his friend;
Then he wrote just two lines, and he order
ed them set
In the smallest of type-thinking, "I'll win
And he placed them himself, to be sure
and not fail,
In the midst of o close agate real estate sale.
For, to better succeed in his little designs,
He'd selected place where to put these
two lines
And have them connected with what follow
ed and make
A sentence complete in itself, without break.
These the lines that he wrote: "Our old
friend, good James True,
Who is one of the best men the world ever
| knew,
Of the we'll known Hope Farm"-that was
all that he said
About James, but the line-next below these
| two read
''Will be sold very cheap"-then went on to
unfold
The beauties and bounds of the estate to be
sold,
The paper was printed. The next day but
one,
The farmer camein, with his eyes full offun
"You have won," he began, .ijust as sure as
you're born; A.
Why, before I'd got breakfast ate yesterday
morn,
Two or three of my neighbors called, pur-
! pose to see
What that meant in the paper they saw
about me.
Il hadn'tseen it YETI Then, during the day,
Every neighbor that met me had something
to say
About my being sold. I was sold very cheap,
And you did it we'll, too; it was too good to
So I've told the whole story, and come with
all speed
To bring you the garden sauce as agreed "
The editor looked from his window and saw
His friend had brought in all his horses
could draw
All for him /; he declined to accept it, but
found
That his friend would not listen, and was
off with bound,
Saying, cheerily, as he went out-"In your
next -.