davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
What a Shark Swallowed,

The following letter, written by the
officers on the British bark Lutters0orth,
has been handed us with the request to
publish it: While the Lutterauo7:th was
laying becalmed in the tropics, large
shark was observed swimming around
the ship. A large hook with chain
attached was baited with a four-pound
piece of pork. The shark made for it
and bolted it. In hauling him up the
chain parted, and he coolly swallowed
the hook, chain and pork. Another
hook was then baited which he instantly
seized, biting three inch rope in twain,
and also swallowing it with another four
pound piece of pork. Another hook was
then baited with a similar piece of pork,
and with this the shark was caught and
landed on our main deck. All hands
cleared from him for he was in terrible
dutter. His tail was cut off with the
carpenters axe, which quieted him a
little. Some said It was not the same
shark we had hooked before. He was
cut open, when we found two large
shark-hooks, chain and rope snuggly
coiled away, with eight pounds of pork
in his locker. It seems almost incredible,
but all hands are witnesses to it.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
Talking to Bows.

There is knaek in talking to boys
which not every public speaker posses
ses. There is also an art, if not SCI
ence, in putting questions so as to secure
desirable answers. Not long ago noted
temperance lecturer was addressing the
young people of a certain town in nli-
nois on his favorite theme. He said:
''Now, boys, when ask you question
you mustn't be afraid to speak right out
and answer me, When you look around
and see all these fine houses, farms, and
cattle, do you ever think who owns them
all now? Your fathers own them, do
they not?'' eyes, sir,' shouted hun
dred voices. SWELL, where will your
fathers be in twenty years from now?''
':Dead?' shouted the boys. s"That's
right. And who will own all this prop
erty then?'' ''Us boysr' shouted the
urchins. .'Right. Now tell me-did
you ever, in going along the streets,
notice the drunkards lounging around
the saloon doors, waiting for somebody
to treat them?'' Eyes, sir, lots of them .
''Well, where will they be in twenty
years from now?'' '.Deadr' exclaimed
the boys. S And who will be the drunk
ards then?' ''Us boysr' shouted the
unabashed youngsters, enjoying the joke.
The lecturer was so astounded at the
ready reply, that it was some minutes
before he was able to proceed with his
discourse.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
Owed Him One,

Quite an interesting wedding, says
The Little Rock Gazette, was celebrated
at the Atlantic hotel last night. Some
time ago Thomas Luster, necessarily a
very bright young man, fell desperately
in love with Miss Margaret Rice. Miss
Rice was the divorced wife of a man
named Henry Robertson, but that made
no difference with the ardent lover. The
charms of the young woman had made
the hair stand sentimentally on the head
of Mr.. Luster, the brilliant. As Poe in
sisted, he slowed with love that was
more than love- How such love
can be bestowed is something that q
newspaper man hasn't time to investi-
gate, but as he hasn't time to question
such emotional desperation, he must
simply allow Mr.. Poe, who is dead and
therefore can not defend himself, to re-
main master of the heart-moving situa-
ton. The ceremony was performed by
Justice Pears. The bridegroom was
nervous. Robertson, the former hus-
band, had followed the couple. The
bridegroom had many reasons to believe
that Robertson, as the divorced husband
of the bride, meditated revenge. The
bridegroom trembled. The bride shook.
A doctor who was present thought that
she had a chill After the ceremony the
divorced husband approached the BRIDE
groom and said:
Il have followed you because I owe
you one.''
The bridegroom shook.
Eyes, sir, l owe you one, and I pro-
pose to pay it right here"
The bridegroom shook violently.
Eyes, sir; I always pay it. I owe
you the drinks, what'll you take?''
The bridegroom was greatly relieved,
and took whisky.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
Recognized It.

A primary teacher, not thousand
miles from the Hub" is describing the
banana, and the children are to name it.
Finally yshe steps to the board and draws
the outline of the fruit. Up comes
Johnnie's hand.
''Well, Johnnie, what have describ-
edp''
s'Cucumber!'
'.Oh, no; the cucumber grows here,
and told you this fruit grows in the
South; besides, is not the cucumber q
vegetable?'
Johnnie yields the point and relapses
into brown study. Soon an idea
strikes him and up comes the hand
again.
.Are you sure you are right this time,
Johnnie?''
'm''-with self assurance.
''Well, what is it?
Sausage" is the triumphantr ejoin'
der.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
The Chinese Minister,

The Washington Star says that "the
Chinese Minister apparently enjoys So
ciety very much. He does not yet un-
derstand English, but is very observant
and seems to comprehend much of what
is going on about him through watching
actions and gestures. He could not
have his interpreter with him at the
State dinner at the White House last
week, and SO was the only person there
who did not at all understand any of the
languages spoken by the others present.
When he makes calls, as he does daily,
his interpreter always accompanies him.
His wife does not have any opportunity
Of learning English, since no one except
her husband and her woman servants,
all of whom are Chinese, are permitted
to be with her"
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
Home Amusements Jacobs Rod"

Attach plain gold or brass ring to a
piece of black silk-thread, about six
inches long, the other end of which you
sew to the middle of large silk hand
kerchief.
Provide yourself with a wooden rod,
half an inch in diameter and about a
foot long. This may be painted black,
or of plain wood, polished. Now get q
tumbler, and your apparatus is COM
plete.
When performing this illusion, you
advance to the company, and, after
making your bow, observe:
'..Ladies and gentlemen: I have here
an ordinary tumbler and little rod or
wand, both of which are without prepa-
ration of any kind.''
Give them for examination, and when
they are returned, ask some one to lend
you plain gold ring.
When you receive the ring, take from
your pocket the silk handkerchief with
the duplicate ring attached (be careful
when doing so not to let the ring be
SEEM, set the tumbler on the table and
pretend to place the borrowed ring un-
der the handkerchief; but instead, YOU
conceal it in your hand and put the sus-
pended ring under. Grasp it through
the handkerchief, and give it to one Of
the company, asking him to hold it over
the tumbler, around which you drape
the folds of the handkerchief. Then tell
him to let 60, when the ring falls with
an audible ''ting'' into the tumbler, with
the handkerchief over it. Ask for the
loan of pocket-handkerchief, and the
assistance Of two very ..strong'' men,
A little fun may be had in the selection
of the parties. Meanwhile, you take up
your wand, or rod, and secretly slip on
to it the borrowed ring (Which it will be
remembered, was concealed in the handy
sliding it along to the middle, under
cover of your hand.
Now request the two volunteers to
step forward and take hold of each end
of the rod, and to cover it and your hand
with the borrowed handkerchief. Now
take your hand away, and leave the rod,
covered by the handkerchief, in posses
sion of the two gentlemen holding it.
Going over to the tumbler, you shake
it, when the ring will rattle, thus con-
vincing the company that it is still there.
Tell the persons having charge of the
rod to hold tight, and saying. Zone, two,
three pass" you nip the handkerchief
by the middle and lift it from the tum-
bier, which you show to be empty. Step
up to the rod and jerk away the hand
kerchief, when the borrowed ring will be
seen spinning round on the centre, to
the utter astonishment of the two indi-
viduals holding it, who gaze at each
other in dumb amaZement.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
Took a Header and Down she. Went

>O~> ~Ss'S~S1 s4AO
A young lady residing on William
street in this city went to q hogshead
under water pipe to get soft water out
the other day. She found the vessel
about two-thirds empty and q film of ice
covering the water. Going back into
the house she procured hatchet, and,
returning, leaned over and into the
hogshead to break the ice. The hogs
head was rather high for the lady's
stature, and she was compelled first to
tip.toe and then to lean her whole
weight on the edge. While in this rath-
or uncomfortable position harder
stroke with the hatchet, which sent it
smashing through the ice, disturbed her
equilibrium, the center Of gravity was
removed further from the slippers and
nearer to the chignon, and over she
went, crashing through the ice and
souse into the water. It luckily happen
ed that gentleman passing was attract
ed by the sight of two little feet sticking
out Of barrel and kicking like fury.
fastening to the rescue, the lady was
released from her dangerous position,
and ran into the house without taking
time to see who her deliverer was, or to
thank him, and the latter retired, re-
marking to himself, II guess she won't
take cold; her face = too red. ."-Nev
London Conn., Day. .,--.z...s..
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26

the air; the wheelbarrows trundled from
woodpile to woodshed. Peleg fiddled
through and through his repertory of
tunes from yankee Doodle to ..Mon-
ey Musk" and at length came high
noon, with twenty minutes for refresh
ments.
In the afternoon the excitement waxed
stronger. The boys sawed steadily on
with scarcely any symptoms Of fatigue,
save that there was,a scarlet flush on
Max's dark cheek, and Sandy lips were
pale, and trembled little nervously.
Everybody was laughing and talking
of the sport. Even Mrs. Colonel Gros-
venor, the great lady Of the village,
drove up to the backyard gate in her
carriage, bringing a demijohn of deli
cious iced lemonade for the young saw
yers and their friends. Captain Winty
Coolidge walked around, rubbing his
pudgy hands together, and sprinkling in
encouraging remarks between the shrieks
of the saws and the squeaks of the fid-
die.
'.It's good thing to strengthen the
muscles-the muscles. A long-chalk
sensibler than walking ten hours to q
stretch, SO tbs. SO It's! Good boys! Do
ing well, all on ye-all on ye!'
And how earnest every one became,
to be sure, when at length the sticks IN
each woodpile might be counted!
''You never saw anything like it,"
said Max to his mother, between huge
mouthfuls of bread and jam, at the tea
table that night. Everybody who had
handkerchief shook it, I know, and
aunt Nabby waved her big checked
apron. They were all singing out Go
it, and .Goodr till fellow couldn't hear
himself think. Uncle Nathan sat in the
door trotting his foot and wiping his
eyes, though what for can't imagine;
and Peleg jumped up on his nail-keg
and fiddled like the whole town was
burning! Oh, twas great! And when
we counted up the money there were
twenty-nine dollars and sixty cents clean
cash for uncle Nathan, and everybody
cheered again like fun when we handed
it over. And Captain Winty made one
of his speeches. Uncle Nathan broke
right down when he tried to thank us,
and aunt Nabby kissed us boys all round.
Yes, ma'am!
"Oh, yes'm; Sandy beat by twenty
four seconds; and Sandy's Cap'n again
at school, and Of course Dickey Bird beat
Charley, because Charley couldn't split
my last stick till I'd sawed it, for they
kept right on our heels the whole time.
But Art Humphrey beat Jack Jardine!
For Art caught up the wood in his arms,
quick as Charley split it, and ran into
the shed with it and out while Jack was
unloading his wheelbarrow. 1t gives q
fellow an appetite concluded Max,
with a sidelong glance from his laugh
ing eyes as he reached for his third help
ing of jam; 'but it's little hard on the
arms?'-Ada Carleton, n, Wide AaUuke.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
The Home of the Garfelds,

The new home of the Garfield family
is modest little modern house on Euclid
avenue, Cleveland. 1t is about half way
between the business part of the city and
the termination of the celebrated avenue
in Lake View Cemetery; and, though
small looking among the pretentious
mansions around it, has broad lawns
and cosy rooms. The household is made
up of the late President s wife and mother,
Molly and the two younger boys. Gar
fields house in Washington will prob.
ably be sold, as Mrs. Garfield has no
desire ever to 60 back to the capital to
live; but the farm at Mentor will be pre-.
served as the family homestead.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
Too Much Raggago.

Erasmus T. Ruggleson, young man
OF Saxon lineage, worked on farm out
here in Yellow Springs township. He
was not rich, but he was industrio GUS and
just too pretty for anything. So was
the daughter of the farmer for whom he
worked. She was weather than Eras-
mus. but she was not proud. When the
chores were done in the winter evenings,
she went with him to the singing school
and she walked by his side to church.
She loved him.; she had rather sit at her
easement in the cleaning, and hear him
holler ''po-oo-ey!' in long drawn mellow
cadences, at the hour of the feeding of
the swine, than hear Campanini sing
'.Macaroni del Vermicelli'' from Hand
orgzhanni in Venezuela And he-he
was clean gone on her. Mashed past
all surgery. When they foolishly let
the old man in their plans for each others 8
happiness and half the farm, the wrath
ful agriculturist said if he heard one
more word of such nonsense, just another
word, he would lay that farm waste with
physical havoc. and blight its winter
wheat with the salt tears of his only child.
and that was the kind of father-in,law
he was inclined to be.
Naturally, the young people deter
mined to fly. Their plans were laid;
the night was set. So was the ladder.
At its foot waited the ardent Erasmus
Ruggleson, gazing at the window for
the appearance of his love. Presently
the window opened softly, and face he
loved appeared.
'.Rasmus!'' .'Florencer'
Eyes, dearest. Shall drop my things
right down?''
Eyes, love; l will catch them. Let
the bundle fall.''
The glittering starlight of the clear
March night fell on Erasmus glad and
upturned face. So did q trunk, four feet
high, four feet wide, and about eight feet
long. 1t weighed about 2,700 pounds.
1t contained few s'things'' that no
woman could be expected to travel with
out, and Florence had spent three weeks
packing that trunk for her elopement.
Erasmus Ruggleson did not scream.
He did not moan. He couldn't. He had
no show. Florence came down the lad
der, having first, with q maidenly sense
of propriety, requested her lover to turn
his back and look at the barn. He NAV
have heard her, but he didn't look at
the barn. He was busily engaged in
looking at the bottom of the trunk, and
thinking how like all creation he would
yell if he ever got his mouth out doors
again.
Florence reached the foot of the lad
der. ''Did you get my trunk, Erasmus?''
she said, looking around for him.
.'Oh, yes," said a hoarse mocking voice
at her elbow 'Oh, yes, he got it. Got
it bad, too."
She turned, knew her papa, shrieked
once, twice, again, and once more for
the boys, and tainted away.
Il never worried about it a minute, s"
the heartless old man told his neighbors
the next day, 'though I knowed well
enough what was goin on all the time.
I've been married twice, an I've mar
ried off four daughters and two sons, an
if [ don't know what baggage woman
carries when she travels, by this time,
I'm too old to learn.''
And, Erasmus Ruggleson! The jury
brought in verdict that he came to his
death by habitual drunkenness, and the
temperance papers don't talk about any,
thing else for the next six weeks.-Bur-
liasgtoa HaaUkeye.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26

The first wife of the late ex-senator
Latham lies buried in the sands of Lone
Mountain cemetery, in California, near
the remains Of the murdered Broderick.
whose place in the senate Mr.. Latham
was chosen to fill. Her grave is marked
by stately monument of stone and
iron, surmounted by q marble statue Of
herself, idealized into angelic form, and
q large fag-stone at the entrance to the
burial-lot bears, deeply carved, simply
the words Eternal Rest
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26

my son. said Boston merchant to
his new partner, whenever you desire
to borrow money get shaved, don your
Sunday clothes, see your objective credi-
tors after he has been to dinner, be affa-
BILE, but rather Indifferent as to whether
he obliges you or not, and you will be
pretty apt to succeed" J"
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26

"What Did He Marry Her Forr'' is
the title Of recent novel, We haven't
read the work, but we imagine it wsA
because she had an income Of ten thou,
sand dollars : year.
New Ulm weekly review., 1882-04-26
A Rogue.
BY MRS. NARY L. WYATT.

Grandma was noddine, rather think:
Harry was sly and quick as wink;
He climbed in the back of her great armchair,
And nestled himself very snugly there.
Grandma's dark locks were mingled with
white,
And quick this little fact came to his sight;
sharp twingc soon she felt at her hair,
And woke with u start to find Harry there.
''Why, what are you doing, my childY' she
said; :s
He answered, "rs pulling basting-freadr'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-02-11
To Regulate Primary Election.

Mr.. chew snsbley. q member Of the baltimore
bar, In a communication 20 the S-s, suggeas that
the systs@ u sslsciins jurors nov psassssl In
many States and proposed to be estabishelin Dali
timore with reference 20 grand juries should be
applied 10 primary elections and In the selection
Of those who are TO constitute nomina;ing eonven-
,iOns. The plan. briefly outlined. contemplate
that voters when regi'tered should be required 60
state their political affiliations be registered As
independents; that the Governor should appoint
. certain number Of persons TO be known as
'.ja5ges ofnominAtions,' with power ''toosxaniss,
appoint presiding officer for the body % make
the nominations, 10 call it, members together, 20
receive and count votes and declare nomisations.
% preserve order and commit for disohedienee or
contempt" The judges Of nominations 10 be
furnished with lists Of voters before the primary
election, aud in the presence Of n COMMITTEES 20
place the names d all who have signi6ed their
afhllatlon With the party In as many wheels or
boxes as there are wards In baltimore or districts
In the counties. aud then In the presence Of the
committee 10 draw the number Of names required
20 constitute the nominating body the members
Of the nominating bodies 20 be male liable ~
jurors now are TO punishment for delinquency or
misconduct, and bribery or attempted bribery Of
members Of such bodies 20 be made o criminal
onsnse, tine judges of nominations AID ;hs ns:z.
hers Of nominating bodies TO serve one year, aud
where ward or district 10 entitled 10 hse men,
bers Of . nominating body. ten names 10 be drawn,
90 that " there be . vacancy. u can be yFunptly
filed mp from the reserve. The members Of such
nominating bodies, the correspondent thinks,
"wouid be persons Of like political sentiments,
and would be free aud independent Of al fore.
staiiing Influences"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-02-11
No, q creawell Victory.

The Baltimore cys'sos S,a.,. an indepsn len
paper. under the above caption, Gays
The Baltimore Asisrieas hA. tried 20 make Il
appear tina, the Federal nominations Fecenily
made for baltimore uas simply turning Maryland
over into the hands % Mr.. Cre.weil. Thi. u. 40
Injustice both % SIR. Cfssseil aud 20 President
Arihsr Mr. CFeswell has more political .Agaeity
than all the falton-ThomAs faction together, and
be u not an osiee-seeker. While other isaiin 2
Maryland Republicans have been peFsistsutiy seek
Ing ofces for themselves or families % friends be
has attended 60 hts private business and ha. only
taken par; Ia politics when his duty 90 bis party
seemed % reqaife H. lie has been REGARDED With
extreme Jealousy. aud has been often malieiosly
,raduesd by a nomina;ly Republican paper. bat
this has not driven him TO any imprudsnee,. No
doubt President Arthur considered him a judicioas
advisor, but President Arthur could scarcely Do
less that select FOR nomination, men Of undoubted
personal honor who have no afhliation With that
faction. which has been In alliance with Mary
land Democracy. and has been faithiess 20 every
prominent Republican Who trusted Il. The nomi-
nations made are not 90 much q triumph Of Nj.
cresweli over his malignant personal enemies ~
victory Of the true friends Of the administration
and true Republicans over those Who would GER
tainly betray either II they could profit thereby.
The retention of Thomas or selection Of any
person suggested by the Fulton Thomas faction
would have been folly. There were other excellent
gentlemen beside Col. Webster. named for the
Collectorship. but II any one Of them had been
nominated. the American would have claimed
that II was \ concession 10 the Fulton Thomas
faction. and that unprneipled gang would have
ell rushed In for places under him."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-02-11
Tina Taxa,,or ~ Asor,.....

The lIagerstown Mail Of last week has a lengthy
editorial favOring the taxation Of mortgage from
which We make the following extracts;
"The arguments 10 favor Of the taxation are
strong, aud one would think, almost irresistible.
The Declaration Of Rights Of the State, Art. IS,
ought 10 be decisive, which says that every per-
son 10 the State rperson holding property therein
ought 10 contribute his proportion Of public taxes
for the support OF the government, according TO
his actual worth In real or personal property
There can be no reason assigned why q man Who
has 5000 Invested In mortgages should nay no
tax and his neghbor who has q farm worth &c..
ees With . mortgage npon II Of 1000, (which, IL
he has no other property, would make him worth
only $5,ooe,l should pay taxes on $4,000. Here
are two men, each worth sj,000-the one pays no
tar, the other pays taxes on $4,000.
"The equitable rule, and What no conceive TO be
right aud just and In accordance with the letter
and spirit u the Declaration Of Rights ofthe State
Il 20 tax the mortgage and exempt the land 10 the
extent of ths mortgage. That IL 70 say-if Mr.. A.
has farm appraised AZ $4,000 and Mr.. u. has
mortgage upon u for Is zoe, sash has 5000 In.
before the cerpty Commissioners and have his
assessment credited With 5000, and let Mr.. b. be
charged with S5Oee. Rash thea would be assass.
Cd according 10 his interest IN the farm. This
mode would be just, aud We believe would mat al
real objections against taxation. Il would moi 10
double taxation, and would be great relief 10 the
iand-hcidsr who u unfortunate enough TO have
mortgage upo1 bis property. Minor objections
might be urged 20 this plan, but we think . well
drawn and judieious lau soRld remedy al ofthem."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-02-11

G0-A few years ago the objection constantly
urged to vaccination the liability to the trans
Ter OF other diseases along with the vaccine virus
This danger was more imaginary than real, OK.
eePt In the case Of inexcusakle carelsssness, but
physicians have nevertheless lately preferred to
use the virus taken directly from the hefer instead
Of that from the human ARIA. The demand has
created supply, and the charged points from tho
"vaceine farms" are now used almost exclusively.
The old arguments being thus rendered useless,
the ant-vaeeinators, who queer set Of cranks,
have shifted their ground. and the London Society
for the Abolition Of Compulsory Vaccination 10
now sending around pamphlets to prove that this
primary vaccination Is not eficaciOus. Il Is not
worth while to dispute with these people, but Il
may be worth while to say that the disease com.
muniea,ed in this way Is apparently the same as
when reproduced from healthy human subject,
aud that In either form Il Is believed 10 modify II
not to prevent smallpox.