davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
Voices Of the Past.

You wonder that my tears should flow
In listening to that simple strain;
That those unski illiul sOunds should I'LL
My soul with Joy and pain;
How can You tell what anguish 1t stirs
Within my heart a&ain2
You wonder why that common phrase.
So all unmeaning to your ear,
Should Stay me In my merriest mood
And thrill liy soul to hear;
How can you tell what ancient charm
Has made me hold it dear
Yuu marvel that turn away
From all these flowers SO fair and bright
And gaze NJ this poor herb. till tears
Arise and dim my sight;
You cannot tell how every leaf
Breatnss OF u past delight.
You smile 10 see me turn and speak
With one whose converse you dehpise;
You uO not see the dreams OF old
That with his voice arI,e;
How can you tell what links have made
HIM sac ed in my eyes?
O, these are voices of the past
links OF Il broken chain,
Wings that can bear me back to times
Which cannot come gain;
Yet God forbid that should lose
The echoes that rsnain
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
DEMOCRATIC COUNTY TICKET.

49, -:O:-
t. For Representative.
WILLIAM II. CARTER.
For Presiding Justice County Court,
ROBERT A. BARSi TT.
For Associate Judge County Court,
Western District.
JOHN A. LOCKlIART.
For Associate Judge County Court,
Eastern District,
JAMES W. HARRISON.
For Sheriff,
BENJAMIN ELLIOTT.
For County Collector.
GEORGE NJ. MOUNTJOY.
For Treasurer,
BENJAMIN r. IRELAND.
For County Clerk
WILLIAM d. STEELE.
For Circuit Cisgk. ~
FRANK TRIGG.
For Recorder,
j. JACOB D. CONNER.
For Prosecuting Attorney.
JOHN 8. BLACKWELL.
For Assessor,
WILLIAM A. THORNTON.
For Probate Judge.
JAMES B. HORD.
For Public Administrator.
JOSEPH A. WILSON.
For Coroner,
DR.. JAMES G. RUSSELL.
. .s
Township Officers.
, Lexington Township-Justices of the Peace,
HARRISON SMITH.
WILLIAM L. TUTT.
ROBERT A. HICKLIN.
For Constable,
FRANK NJ. THOMAS,
Clay Township-JustIce OF the Peace,
SAMUEL LOCkHART.
GEORGE W. FERRELL.
For Constable,
JESSE JEFFERSON.
Davis Townshir-Justices of the Peace.
JOSEPH CARTER.
JOHN LIvENGOOD.
For Constable.
AZARIAH HIGGINS.
Middleton Township-Justices of the Peace,
-a JOHN E. CORDER.
1T. GOODWIN.
For Constable.
JOHN CHRISMAN.
sn,-a-Bsr Township-Justices of the Peace.
WILLIAM HARRIS.
X. T. RUSSELL.
For Constable,
| LARKIN FERGUSON.
Washington township-,Justices OF the Peace,
ROBERT MATHEWS.
JOHN WHEATLEY.
For Constable,
| A. H. KELLY.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
no YOU PLAY1 WHY NOT4

DY using Scper's instantaneous Guide TO the
ID Keys of tile Plane and Organ, any person,
man, woman child who can read or count
figures, can learn to play in ONE HOUR without
n uI-arher This is no humbug; money will be
r.iuu.ied If not represented. The Guide,
VII, ~ pieces of music. will lie sent TO any all
die \ .n receipt Of 81. Send stamp for circu
lars. Address marnh4lJ
TUMANs & CO. .o6s Broadway, MY.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
A SHOT IN THE sANOTUM.
Alonzo w. Slayback Seeks Salts
faction for Post-Dispatch
Publication.
OF tho Managing Editor, John
A. COckcrill.

OF tho Managing Editor, John
A. Cockcrill.
lFrom the St. Louis Globe Democrat, Oct. H.
Alonzo w. Slayback, a prominent
att orney of st. Louis, as we'll known as
any citizen within her limits, walked
up into the editorial room OF the POST
Dispatch, on Market street, between
Fifth and Sixth. to demand retraction
or seek satisfaction tor a publication in
the editorial columns of that paper OF the
current day, at fifteen minutes past
O'Clock yesterday afternoon. He was
accompanied by w. H. Clopton, an at
torney.at-law, who attended Mr.. Slay-
back. When MIR. Slayback and his
friend entered the room of Mr.. Cock
erill, the latter was found in consulta-
ton with John McGuffin, business man..
ager Of the Post. Dispatch, and Victor
Cole. the foreman Of the composing or
TYPE setting department OF that paper.
Henry w. Moore, the city editor of the
Post. Dispatch, was at his desk in an
lextreme corner OF the large room, i'm
medistely adjoining the quarters OF MIR.
Cockerill. Mr.. Moore says his atten-
tiOn was attracted by the heavy walk
OF man emerging from the hallway,
" no walked directly TO the closed door
of the managing editors room and,
WITHOUT KNOCKING,
threw it open. Mr. Moore had hardl y
time to recognize the visitor as A. w
Slayback, and he remembers that the
tgentlcman's coat was open in front anG
. that he had his hand on his right hif
when w. II. Clopton. whom he al>t
knew we'll, stalked in, o the apartment
and the door closed. Having reason t,
believe that there would he trouble be
tween Messrs. Slay back and Cockeril
when they met. Mr.. Moore, alter
moments hesitation, decided to go il
ana see the possible iracas. A pisto
9 shot was heard, the door opened, Clop
Ton walked out rapidly. Moore ran in
and this was the tableau he saw Cock
eril!, OH his knees, was holding Slay
back In his arms. Blood was wellin
from the mouth OF Slayback. McGufli
'e had an uncocked pistol in his hand, ,hel
loosely, almost dangling. Colo wa
bending anxiOusly over the hcav
breathing burden in Cock erill's arms.
"My God, what is the matter ?" G,
ir citedlY SAID Moore.
Cockerill said, "He pulled pistol o
t. me, and
.: SHOT HIM."
and then, with a ble ,ned face.
looked upon the ..ntenance OF Il
d. man who was d" & in his arms. In
D., few minutes, very few. tue genial so
!" of Slayback had g"ne forth. NJ
Cockerill laid the body tenderly dow
and, as the room began to fill up wi
reporters. printers and othe' = ~ tract
I'LL by the shot, he turned from the Srel
I land, accompanied b. MIR. McGultin, II
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
A Castle in the AR.

built myself q castle,
so noble, grand and fair;
! Iuilt myself y castle,
A castle in the air.
The iancles of my twilights
That Jude in sOmbrr truth,
The longing Of my sorrow,
And the vision Of my youth.
The plans OF joyful futures;
So dear they used to seem,
The prayer that rose unbidden.
Half pray er and half dream.
Within this heart OF mine;
For ull these tender treasures
My castle was shrine.
looked ut all the castles.
That rise to grace the land,
But never SAW another
So stately or 30 grand.
And now you see it shattered,
My castle in the air;
1t lies y dreary ruin,
All desOlate unu bare.
cannot build another,
saw thut one decay;
And strength, and heart, and courage
Died out, thai seli-saIne day.
Yet stiil beside that ruins
With hopes as deep and fond.
waited with an infinite longing.
ONLY looked bey ondl
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
SALE OF
REAL ESTATE.

DY virtue OF an order of the probate court OF
ID Lafayette county, Missouri, the UNDER
signed administratrix of the estate of Charles
Homer. deceased. Will. during the session OF the
county court Of said county, on
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1882,
between the houe of 3 O'Clock In the fore
noon and o clock in the afternoon u1 said duy /,
SELL at public auction. TO the highest bidder.
i'm front of the courthouse door, for cash In
hand, all the right, title amt interest Of Charles
Homer, in and to The following described real
estate, situate in the county oi Lafayette, and
state of Missouri, Io-wit: Lot nr, ,uber eeNc
~. in block number sxty-eight t6sl, in tine first
addition to the city tiOi merly town. of Lexng-
| ton Ms shown by the plat Of said town and AL
,,ii,rn ! nw on nle IN the ,.corder's Office rOE
| saul r,,,nly ANNIE HOMER,
| oct7td AdminStrstrix,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
M)eeklg gutel'lige':,!1!tle'r. g

PACIFIC RAIROAD TIME TABLE. 2
LEAVE LEXINGTON.
Accommuda atiOn for st. Louis and the
Ea"rsss and Mail for ST. Louis, East Is P. n.
ARRIVE. .......
Express and Mail from st. Louis, East q.
Assom%oaation sS% s1S.h from St. Louis. E.s.
and South iC.BEa RUSSELL: Agent.
NO. p. n. R.-K. C. & Z. DIvIsIoN- MARROW
LEAVE LEXINGTON FoR KANSAS CITY.
Passenger. ......... ...............,.. 9:S =
Freight and accommodation. Loo r. n.
ARRIVE AT LEXINGTON.
Freight and 'accommo;iatlon Ii 30 =; N.
WABASH, ST. LOUIS AND PACIFIC.
LEAVE LEXINGTON s.-...
Trains for St. Louis. h. 9 and st. Joe 9 IS \
Trains for st. Louis and East. ~. .S:SoP
ARRIvEAr LEXINGTON Ea
From st. Louis and all points East..: g :35 =
from Kansas City and all points W est. q 20 =
Fro" St. Louis X c. iaa n. IS 61s2oF. sa & Agent.
CHICAGO 4 ALTON n. Rat HlaaINsvILLE.
| GOING EAST.
No. 4s. Kansas City Mail ..... ..... s:SS A.. n. \
| No. lOl, Local Freight. ....lz;oof.
t GOING WEST.
No. 6, Denver Express. ........ 9:SS 40 a.. =
No. SO, Kansas City Night Express. :0S A. =
No. q. Kansas City mail. ,o:% a: -
Nos. At. 4s. 40 is anS 50 SaIiy. Nos. 10, and los
daily except Sundays. No. daily exoepl
Saturdays and Sundays. No. 6 daily excep
We Keep a full line of through tickets to al
principal points in United States and Canadf
| ut bottom prices. -..
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
Walking With God.

Oh! for closer walk with God.
A calm and heavenly frame;
A light to shine upon the road
That leads me to the Lambl
Where ia the blessedness knew
When first saw the Lord 2
Where is the soul-relreshing view
OF jesus and his word?
What peaceful hours once enjoyed!
How sweet their memory still!
But they have left an aching void
The world can never I'LL. .H.E
Return, o holy Dove. returnl
weet messenger of rest; &C.,"
hate the sins that made thee mourn.
And drove thee from my breast.
The dearest idol have known,
" hat 'er that idol be,
Help me to tear it from thy throne.
And worship only Thee.
So shall my walk be close with God,
Calm and serene my frame;
So purer light shall mark the road
That leads me TO the Lamb.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21

Big stock ot fruit jars. al CIsgett's, will
not be uudersold on them. jy2atf
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
WN. H. c
.vausAGE n CHILES.

TroRNEYs AND CoUMsELL0nss oUlS:Is I.ons roan Mn
Iszins,Sns, s,.yinss MS o&ss Hsai o" arpsss
ver the mouse. viii practice in the courts @, in
ss SiaSstte and surrounding sounss ssaSr ns T ana
he Supreme court OF the s.e ,r,ct courts ior the
az M M.sIsrn District of Missouri.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
For Dyspepsia,

>A~ For Dyspepsia,
Costiven
SyIiillAkykAGAS ASick Headache,
Chronic Diar-
Ia SSz[NS rhBa, Jaundice,
y AS~ Jlnpurity of the
AZNz ri Blood, Fever and
- AASue, Malaria,
G3d!lAS19l and ,a an Disease. s. ss.
ransement of Liver. Bowels and Kidneys
SYMPTOMS OF A DISEASED lIvEk.
Rad Breath: Pain in the Side, sometimes the
pain is felt under the Shouldercblade, Rsis
rheumatism: general loss Of appetite: howes sS
generally costive sometimes alternating with iax:
the head is troubled with pain is dull and heavy;
with considerable loss Of memory aesomh snmr,h;ne
which ought to have been done: slight, dry coasn %
and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, 1.;en
mistaken for consumption: the pa%uen! % eopId ..npp,Ied
feet cold or burning, sometimes Prickiy sensation
of the skin exists: spirits are low and
and although satisfied that exercise woua Ge 70
try it-in fact, distrusts every remedy. severn SeveIn
Of the above symptoms attend the disease but cases
have occurred when but few o. them ex,stsu. s., C.
examination after death has shown the LAYER 10
have been extensively deranged.
It should bo used by all persons, old and
young, whenever any OF inc 9Doso
symptoms appear.
Persons Travelling or Living in Un-
healthy Localities, by taking dose OCCASION,
ali Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau-
sea, Drowsiness, Depression Of Spirits. etc. 1t
will invigorate like glass of wine, but Is no IN
toxicating beverage.
IF You have eaten anything hard OF
digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep
less a
Time and Doctors Bills will be saved
by always keeping tho Regulator
in the House!
For whatever the ailnent may be, a thoroughly
safe purgative, Alternative and tonic can
never be out of place. The remedy is harmless
and docs not interfere with business or
pleasure.
IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE.
And has all the power and efficacy of Calomei or
Qunine, without any of the injurious after Effects
A Governors Testimony.
Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my
valuable addition to the medical sci icnce.
]. GILL SHORTER, Governor OF Ala.
Hon. Alexander H. Stephens, of Ca,
SAYS: Have derived some benefit from the use OF
Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give IT a
further trial.
"The only Thing that never fails to
ReHeve."-I have used many remedies for Dys-
| pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility. but never
have found anything to benefit me to the extent
l Simmons Liver Regulator has. sent from Min
Georgia for it, and would send further fos
such medicine, and would advise all who are sim
ilary affected give it trial as it seems the only
/ thing that never fails to relieve.
| P. M. JANNKY, Minneapolis. MINI.
DIR. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex-
perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in
my practice have been and am satisfied to use
| and prescribe it purgative medicine.
R6HTakc only the Genuine. which alway.
| has on the Wrapper the red z Trade-Marl
l and Signature Of j. H. ZEILIN g. CO
FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
Jenny Kissed Me.

Jenny kissed me when we met.
Jumping from the chair she sat In.
Time, you thief who love TO get
Sweets into your list, put that In.
Say I'm weary, say l. m sad: ...
Say that health and wealth have missed me
Say I'm growing old. but add q
jenny kissed me
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
DEMOCRATIC STATE TICKET.

For Judge Of the Supreme Court,
THOMAS A. SHERWOOD.
For Railroad Commissioner.
JAMES HARDING.
For Superintendent Of Public Schools.
WILLIAM E. COLEMAN.
For Congress-Fifth District,
GRAVES. of Lafayette County
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21

s,c,.N y SURGEON, Office opposite
IDhiSssanao over Al. Il. keiler's store.
Residence: sou'he"0' janl76-ly.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21

For Dyspepsia,
stive II e s 3,
Sick Headache,
Chronic Diar-
rl,ea, Jaundice,
Jlnpurity of the
Blood, Fever and
Vague, Malaria,
and all Diseases
caused by De-
Dnul
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21
MED DaGAL'
ma q. ". YOUNG,
-, D n CHAMBERS,

-uys,ciAN AND SURGEON; ofics anu srsis ass,-
aance on Oak (Coliegr) and soath sai9' sIi,1,i
Al.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21

The sad news was quickly convey
ed to the bereaved family at their
home, 227 Olive street. A scene Of
agony, terrible beyond description,
cnsued. Mrs. Siaybsck exclaimed,
"Dead! dead! deadl Impossible ~
and again ant, again she repeated the
! words. The children burst out weep
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21

RI uAssELL, d. D. s.-oFFlCE ogEi III
u hIiehn q mgse julyl9
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-10-21

anh demand All apology aiterwnrd. At
tn. to / OF the -tairS leading tn the
diloritI roOms--Lhc way being too
na, row ior two persons Abreast lcll
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1882-07-20

KStrinafiel0 HlIs. 15. xnli sro,,
Qihtoln. oie gBittm. bts ,rmorS,t,n
Brdfioenten. ,u.lb. felt m,br,r,n eob.
rem Sci liner 66m,iier bieri.lbff mobnt.
ift .rlron,t uub i;ebt in b,ioron;k.r. !.
rea.noer @,ii. bob;n. 6i. ii b.tt.
|Idaeria uno felt elmer mo@, i.b,
|i&po8. an porio,r s,odbt ,,iot.n ,id
epuren elmer Qdbmu,,o. Sic M.r,t,
| Rnb febr beiorot unb, m,inen. ;6r soh
T.; Hsnhy;m ~ .r,, ia, a.. ar..;..
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1882-07-20
Il u 8 Ia ,tb.

WUss O0S giSpeI nt@t tp09I ~ ettldreu
aepeiene plotli&e Abnebmen Der Gin.
manoerung. bor3ieli@ aus Deuti4lanb
binseuieien worben; bebbalb tbeiler
mir bier gum beiiern 9erftdnbnib aua
elmer bieien @eaenitanb bebanbelnoen
8temen bens27. Snni batirten GORE.
iponbena Dos Deienli@fe NIT. Sc,
Gorreiponoent i@reibt: .rDie ausnan.
oerune ldbt nod! - oas III bas 9rob,
Gr.isnib Der 3eit, wel@es ,peiten Bolts.
freiien nit @e&tmeit ,ui@tiser erf4eint
ais oas fran36Ri@e @elbbu@ iammt De,
san3.n dgpptii@en aatafropbe. obe,
Die neueite Nibilifteniaeb Der ruifi@er
poli3ei. gs 1T 3eit, bab mir Deuti&,
an uns ieIbft benten, unb ni&t unis,
eisenss @obl aus ben Mueen perlieren
inoem mir uhiere aufmertiamteit por
Dem feifeln laiien, mos anbere 2eut'
|lbun unO trei5en. Die Aus,uanoerune
bat in Dem umfans. Den iie in ben leb.
ten periooen oneenommen. Deuti@.
Lamb iebr mebe sstban. unb 10 febr mot
au& oer Union ben 3ui@ub an Ut.
beitstrdften 96nnen tonnte. bic boa,
beitrusen, Elm gut She'll Der nod brad
liesenoen 5treden Qanoes ~ beiiebeln
| 10 iebr mubte mon anbererieits min.
f&en, oab Die ausmanberuns ouf ei,
normalss 9lab. - ,penn mon 70 iaQ.r
bari -5uriidtomme. oa ia bann imh,e,
nod binrei&enS arbeitstrdfte an iib.r.
leeii&e 2dnber abeeeeben tpiiroea. g.
i&eint oob bieier Buni9 nun 3us
9beil erfallt merben lou, unb menn biel
beoeutet. bab uni.re grmerbsperbdlt.
niife i'm alien 9aterlanbe f@ miebe,
eini9eruaben 3u befern beginner
menisitens in einisen Branaen - Il
werben unfere iiber bos Dleer aeuan.
bsrten 9olissenofitn ii& e.mib baribe,
freusn; benn iie baben ia besriffen, bat
Die auswanberuns nur bur& unfer'
|idmmerli&en rirtbi&aftli@en Derbdlt.
|niffe emporsei&roubt uorben if. 9l6t,
|Ii& unb uneruartst if bic ausmanbe.
runs gefunten. Bdbreno i'm Ueono,
SUM 1881 iiber Bremen etua 1850
9erfonen ausuanoerteu, tommen ou|
ben Monot SUM- 1852 -,uenn man ID,
bic nod iibrisen Gage bic oinfti9fteu
Rutbmabunassiffer aniett- -b6&fen,
{. 200 4erfonen alio mod ni9t 81,
Qdlfte. Monn slaubt. bab iiberbaup
in bieem Sabre Die auswanoernn,
Iaber Bremen nm 10000 a6pfe obntb,
menyweroe. Aus 4ambsrs lomme,
sans dbnIi@e Beri4te; mr. piro bin,
,ase!ast, bab bort Sie e4ife nod
lbi&ter beiett itno, neil bic aus aut
tanS td&teabsu Sabsn gum sr6tte,
l9beit iiber 9anburs mad Amerits &
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-08-10

We are having, this season, the
largest pineapples ever brought to this
market, enormous fellows, selling for
30 cents and 81 each. Show is it."
| asked of a dealer, tive never had
fruit like this before?" "Because," he
answered, "they were not grown. 1t
is only OF late they have taken to cult
waiting the pineapple, by clipping off the
young ones and cutting close the trees,
growing only few on each, after the
manner of grape growing for wine.
Hitherto pineapples grew wild, and no
care was taken OF them" If they get
such great pines in England as we are
having, possibly they fall down and
worship them. Brother Bull has always
venerated .'the pine, as he calls it. He
values it so highly, that he seldom buys
one outright. He rents pine for his
grand dinners, and, as the custom is
well understood, nobody thinks of cut
ting it, though jokers have now and
then insisted upon piece, to the sore
discontinue of their hosts. Pineapples
like those we buy for a few pennies
each cost an untold amount in England.
The perfume of the pineappleis so much
liked by some persons that they hang
the fruit in their rooms. 1t does not
take long for the delicate odor to per-
wade an Progress.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-08-10

WHO has not seen the fair. fresh young girl
transformed in few months into the pale,
haggard, oispirited woman! The sparkling
eyes are dimmed, and the ringing laugh heard
Lo more. Too often the causes are disorders
of the system which DIR. Pierce's "Fayorite
Prescription" would remedy in short time.
Remember, that the "Favorite Prescription
will unfailingly cure all female Weaknesses -
and restore health and beauty. By all drug
gists. Send three stamps for DIR. Pierce's treat
Use on Diseases of Women (96 pages). Address
WORLDS MEDICAL ASSOCIATION. Buffalo. NJ Y.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-08-10

You can be made strong in all your parts.
You can strengthen the digestive organs, cure
dyspepsia. and prevent those varying attacks
OF constipation and diarrhea- You can
strengthen the urinary system and cure all
such symptoms of weakness as bad dreams,
nervous system and rid yourself OF that ex-
IRENE feeling of debility. You can strengthen
your mental faculties and improve your mem
DRY. You can strengthen your muscular sys-
ten and increase your power OF endurance.
In n word. you can be an example Of physical
perfection II you desire, by using q scientific
combination OF Yellow Dock, Sarsaparilla.
Juniper, Buchu. Iron. Celery and Calisaya, all
of which ingredients enter into the compost
tion Of DIR. Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsa-
parills. and makes 1t Natures best assistant
iu curing all forms Of organic diseases. enti-
Ting II 10 be called the Queen Of all health Re-
newers, and = perfect blood purifier.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-08-10
The Lawyers Trade.

$50 am doomed?" said the client,
Just found guilty of murder in the first
degree and condemned to be. hanged.
"Guilty? Hanged?'' howled the law
yer. "What are you talking about ?
Evidently you have never been tried be-
fore for murder"
"No," said the prisoner; ''this is my
first offense."
"Why, man," said the lawyer, "the
thing has but Just commenced. Being
found guilty is now by the law consid-
cred only the preliminary stage of a
criminal trial"
"But what will YOU do now?"
"Do? You have twelve or fourteen
chances for life,'' said the lawyer.
"First-Application for n new trial.
" Second-Stav of proceedings.
Third-We shall find some new wit
nesSes who will prove that you are quite
another man as compared with what
you were when you committed the deed.
"Fourth-There are forty five excep-
tons to the rulings of the court.
Fifth-If these fail We shall clap on
a certiorari.
/" Sixth-If that fails we shall try the
old habeas corpus.
"Seventh-Then there is the insanity
dodge. That opens a new field alto
gether for saving your neck. We can
make you insane. l have in reserve a
corps of experts who can make any,
body out insane. Sentence you to the
asylum, you know, for life, and let you
out BY the back door in less than year,
when the public has forgotten all about
the case.
I" Naturalization the Executive for
pardon.
Tenth-The writs in reserve.
There's the writ of corporations auro-
II borealis. Do you understand Latin?"
Prisoner Not Latin"
Lawyer-"If that fails there's the
writ of pulcherimus amo masculinibus,
which means il is sin, anyway, to hang
a lovable white man-like yourself
Then there's the writ of nil desperan-
dunn in quandary, which means any port
in storm. See?"
Prisoner-"I don't see exactly. But
l know you must be learned man, and
/ know there's heap of power in them
there writs. How much?"
Lawyer-"Well, it costs heavily to
get them out, especially those last
named, for they are the choice and fancy
varieties. A thousand dollars will
smooth things and procrastinate the
gallows for the present"
Prisoner-"Judge, $500 is all I can
raise just now. Won't that answer?''
Lawyer-"For half the time mention
ed, yes. You are saved for six months"
N. Y. Graphic.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-08-10

A MINISTER writes: From hard study and
close application to the duties of protractei
revival. my health suffered severely. took
q vacation aud tried to win back health and
strength, but seemed to be sinking into .
state Of general weakness and prostration. A
friend presented me with bottle of DIR. Guy
sott's Yellow Dock and Sarsanarilla Its
effect has been wonderful, and although l de-
cline having my name published | will speak
a good word for this medicine at every oppor.
tunity."
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-08-10

'x&"Slow and steady wins the race"
Steadily, but not slowly, Kidney Wort is dis
tancing all competition for universal populari-
ty and usefulness. This celebrated remedy
can now be obtained in the usual dry vegeta-
bic form, or in liquid form. 1t is put up in
the latter way for the especial convenience Of
those who cannot re IDLY prepare it. 1t will
be found very concentrated and will act with
equal efficiency in either form. Read adver-
tisement.