The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-11-02
spocpendyks as a Farmer.

as he gaZed around on his new ac-
QUESTION of six acres-'this, nv
dear, is what 1 have always wanted
A farm and a farmers life are the
highways to happiness. Mrs.
Spooyendyke, don't you tn k soy'
Its perfectly lovely" raioined
Mrs. Spoopendyke. II wa born
on farm, and was always healthy,
though 1 had to go a good ways fol-
water"
I'll fix that, my dear" returne d
Mr.. Spoopendyke. ''TI bring the
water. Now, where are nv agricul.
tural reports? must plant right
off if we are going to lave crops
and when they're ripe well take
them to market"
81 see the report says you must
give your hen chopped tnrnip once
in while" said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
putting her thumb on the paragraph.
Either that or cabbages,'' re
turned her husband. 81 lon't know
whether we will have cabbages
enough" he continued nusingly.
You might have less ouckwheat,"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke 81
should think, though, that two
acres would be enough for one hen,
and if it isn't you can buy load
now aud then from the neighbors."
'-'T'H think that over" replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. .'Here's one thing
certain L don't understand. 1t says
we should test a few seed before
planting to make sure they will
terminate, but it don't say how to
do it.p
Maybe it means to boil them"
suggested AIRS. Spoopendyke, cor
perhaps you.
ooh, perhaps you think it means
to crack 'em with an axe to see if
they are hard! I s'pose you've got
an idea you stick straws into 'em to
see if they're donel Well, you
don't; you put acid on 'em. I'll get
some acid and drop 'em in, and if
it discolors 'em they are no good,
and if it don't they're all right. i
think we ought to have some weevil
for the pig"
Il don't know where you are 60
ing to plant it, said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "unless it will grow with
buckwheat or onions. You can't
put it in with cabbage, because the
pig and hen would fight"
Don't you know what Eeeyil is?"
demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke, glar
ing at his wife. SCOT a notion it's
some kind of weed for the pig to
smoke, haven't you? Imagine its
note paper with a mono
gram for him to write on, don't you?
Well, it isn't swallow tail coat or
/ plug hat for him to go to church
n, neither! You don't plant weevil,
Mrs. Spoopendyke, any more than
you do soap, or clothes-pins, or stair |
ODDS. You buy it in barrels, and |
Pl order some"
81 think we ought to have some
ace curtains for the front windows"
Mrs. Spoopendyke, anx-
Gus to change the conversation.
eyes, and we want folding bed
stead for the COW, and we've got to
nave a new arm chair for the pig,
md Pm afraid those cabbages won't
10 without a wet nurser' squealed
Mr.. Spoopendyke. 81 suppose I've
got to hire 8 man to see that the
meadow don't go fishing on Sundays
and upset your religious notions.
OIL you're a farmers wife, you are
If l had time to write an index to
you and get some dodgasted binder
TO fit you up with a fy-leaf, you
would make a whole agricultural
And Mr.. Spoopendyke shot INTO
the house and to bed, while his
wife, having put. all the oil lamps
into buckets of water so they could
not explode during the night, fell
asleep dreaming that the cabbage
patch had eloped with the onions,
while the COW and the pig died of
weeviI, and the windmill had
agricultural pursuits and
started off through Ohio preaching
the gospel. = brooklyn Eagle.