Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1882-07-08
HUM9Rs OF wATRIMONY.


got rib and baby. Shadows departed:
oyster stews, brandy cocktails, cigar
boxes, boot,jacks, ascending shirt but
tons, whist and demiiOhns. Shadows
present: pullbacks, band boxes, ribbons,
carriers. long stockings, juvenile dresses,
tin trumpets, LITTLE willow chairs, cradles,
bibs. sugar teats, paregoric, hive syrup.
rhubarb, SIENNA, salts, squills and doctors
bills. I'll tell you just how | got caught.
] was always the darnedest, most tea-cus-
tard bashful fellow you ever did sec; it
was kinder in my line to he taken with
the shakes every time | saw pretty gal
approaching me- aud I'd cross the street
any time rather than face one; twasn't
because | didn't like the critters, for If
was belinda fpnce looking through knot
hole could not look long enough. Well,
sister Lib gave party one night, and /
started away from home because was too
bashfu to face the music. / hung around
whistling "Old Dan Tucker" dancing
TO keep my feet warm, watching the
heads bobbing up and down behind the
window curtains, and wishing the thun~
dering party would break mp. so could
get to my room. / smoked up bunch
OF cigars, and it was getting late and
mighty uncomfortable. and l conclude
to shin up the door post. No sooner said
than done, and socn found myself snug
10 bed.
Now said |, '-let her rip; dance I'M
til your wind gives out" And cuddling
down under the quilts, Morpheus grabbed
me.
was dreaming Of soft shell crabs and
stewed tripe, and having good time,
when somebody knocked at tho door and
woke me up. Rap, rap, rap. Then |
heard whispering, and knew there
was whole raft of girls outside. Then
Lib sings OUT
Jack, are you there2n
Eyes" says |.
Then came a roar Of laughter.
.'tct us in.n says she.
II WON'T" said |. Cant you let q
fellow alone2'
''Are you abed?' says she.
Il an, says /.
s'Get out" says she.
IL WON'T says I.
Then came another laugh. BY thunder
began to get riled.
"Get out you pettlcoated scsrecrows!"
cried |. Cant you get beau without
hauling fellow out of bed? | won't
go home with you-I won't; SO you may
clear out"
And. throwing boot at the door.
felt better. But presently heard a still.
small voice, very like sister Lbs, and it
said;
.Jack, you'll have to get up, for all
the girls things are there"
Oh, mercy, what a. pickle! Think of
me. in bed, all covered with muffs, sbawls
and bonnets, and twenty girls outside the
door waiting to let in. Ii had stopped
to think l should have pancaked on the
spot. AS it was. rolled among the ribs
hons and bounetware in hurry. Smash
went the millinery in every direction.
had to dress in the dark, tor there was y
crack in the door, and the girls would
peep. and the way l fumbled about WA
death on straw bats. The moment came;
opened the door, and found myself right
among the women.
"Gh, my Legnornl" cried one. my
dear, durllng winter velvet" cried another;
and they pitched in. They pulled me
this way and that, boxed my ears, and ore
bright eyed little piece--Sdl her name
was-put her arms around my neck and
kissed me right on my lips. Human ma
turc conld not stand that, and gave her
as good az she sent. 1t was the first time
l ever got the taste, and 1t was powerful
good. I believe could have kissed that
gal from julius Cesar 20 Fourth OF July.
Jack said she, ''we are sorry 10 dis
turb you, but won't you see me home?'
"Yes, WILL said |.
After that we took a kinder turtle dove
sfter each other. both Of Us shining like