The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1882-12-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1t may be set down as an axiom that
when person grows fat he grows
waistful.
Late in life George Washington rode
in his own carriage, but in his earlier
years he took hack at the cherry
tree.
We sneer at the Siamese for wor-
Shipping the elephant; but think of
the money that is paid here annually
just to see itl-SatUrdGy Night.
Charming frankness: "You have
lovely teeth, Ethel" eyes, George"
she fondly lisped "they were Christ
mas present from Aunt Grace
Puck.
When a man gets into fit of tenn
per, do not allow his example to be-
come contagious, for there is law
against counter fits. Boston Tran
script.
1t is said that trained dresses for
evening wear are coming back into
favor. 1t is very evident that if they
were not trained it would be very hard
for the wearers to manage them.-
LoloeH Citizen.
First masher: "Well, did you make
the acquaintance of that strange girl
you were raving overY Second ditto:
eyes, followed her home" First NJ:
"How did she strike your" Second
ditto: "She didn't at all; she got her
big brother to do t."-PhilGdeEphid
Ne1DS.
The difference: A young gilded Cor,
as they now say, nickel-plated) youth
OF New York ordered a pair of panta-
looms of his tailor and returned them
as too tight. "You told me to make
them skin-tight," said the man. eyes"
said the youth, "'but can sit down in
my skin and can't in these" ."-Pucb.
It was at the house of the brides
parents after the wedding. On table
were exposed the costly presents. Two
gentlemen were examining them. Said
one suddenly: "These, you say, are
the brides presents, but what does the
groom get?" "Oh," replied the other,
"he gets the woman" First gentle
man: "Is that alp Poor fellowp--
Boston Transcript.
A chicken at Alliance, Ohio, went
to roost upon an axle of freight car.
During the night the car was attached
to train, and when the feathered
bird descended from his unsteady
perch he failed to recognize the scenes
of his childhood He was in Lima,
Indiana, and the man in whose garden
the fowl went to scratching got into II
fight with the whole neighbOrhood by
accusing everybody of owning the
bird.-BoSto1l Journal.
This country may not be readyto go
to war with foreign power on IL
days notice, but she could soon find y
substitute for cannon balls, provided
there were shortage in this particu-
lar. 1t is estimated that there are a
million baseballs in this country, and
if they were fired from cannon at the
enemy the destruction would be terri
BILE. The American peace society might
object to such an exhibition of cruelty,
however, and want scrap iron used in
their stead.-NOTTiStOlOD Herald.
Sad accident "a man while shay
ing accidentally cut off his nose. In
his excitement he dropped the razor
and decapitated one of his toes. Has
tily picking up the dismembered por-
tions of his anatomy he clapped them
to the bleeding wounds and bound
them on tightly. After the flesh had
grown fast and healed up he removed
the bandages and was filled with hor-
ror when he found a well developed
toe in lieu Of nasal organ, and vice
versa. Now, whenever he gets a cold,
he has to remove his shoe and stocking
in order TO blow his nose.-BaltimoTe
American.