Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1882-04-15
Session Of the Liime-KIln
Club.
From the Detroit Free Pres

From the Detroit Free Prees
The blowing of noses in the north
west corner of Paradise Hall finally
came to and end, aud when Trustee
Pullback had flung his whole soul
into one grand effort to c0u h his
head off, and failed, Brother Gard
ner arose and said:
''My krntrymeu, when you meet
a man who knows just whar he Can
bOrroy a dollar who has friends in
boat political parties-who gifts in
vitatiOns To all church festivals
whoa ginrrally spoken of as a good
Teller, YOU have toun' a man who
makes "A udy of human nature. D.
ST udent of anatomy carveS up "a cad
aver To diskiver how de bones am
put togeddpr-w har de muscles lie
how de vital organs am nall~d on.
De good teller studies DE- liven' stead
of de drad-de mind stead of de
body. De- human mind am full o
coins. Tread on one of 'etu an dAr
am back -ackshun To once. If |
should waGt Il five dnllah bill alrly
Monday mornin' | should slip over
an AK Drakun Jackson to- it. His
big CON am DE- belief dat no one KIN
be saved piless he AN baptized III
d. rlbtr, and | have been krrrtul To
walk all aroun dat coon go ober
to his house wild IA jug o cider III one
han an baptismal arguments III de
odder, an sometimes he feels SO good
dat he'd like To douse me IN de rain
bari
IF wanted some onion sets d 20
obrr 10 f der TlffS'. De Elders
CON am "A belief dat ne was bon fur
a great preacher. I've walked all
Ober him a hundred times, but ] 'Zr
neber stubbtd my toe agin dat con.
I've sot down with him an praised
de build OLD his head, an de shape of
his mouth an his pose and gestures,
and I'ze stuck to de char while he
talked an cavorted fur straight
hour. If | wanted onions he'd fall
down de cellar to get 'em fur me.
"When you come across a man
who imagine dat he am an orator,
doan' gibe his booms; 1t won't hurt
anybody to let him keep right on
finkin' so, but it will make hun your
deadly inemy il you try To convince
him dat h. was cut out fur black
sniff. Oar am people who write
stuff an call it poetry. I'Ze got IA
naybur who writ forty -four verses of
SIGH stuff las fall, an read it to me-
an axed my candid opinyun. ID |
tell her it was bosh? Did | jump
frew de winder when She reached de
second varse? Not much! | lis
fnnA6 mid % mt II n
when she finished de las line | ad
vised her to publish book o. PONIES.
De mex week l fell sick, an dat
poetess was fust OH de groun' wild
chicken-broth aud currant jelly.
Nv hen L meet Il man who has
made up his mind dat our city guv'-
ment will go to smash if he doan't
git office, l Encourage him. | in
courage de young to become Wash
lngtOns-I Encourage de ole to hang
on till de world has TO recognize der
greatness. A word at de right time
means de loan Of a dolldh-means
thirty off when you want new
whitewash brush-means bushel o.
lime free gratis-means a recon-
mend if you want to jine der pur-
leece foe. Tech my CONS an I'll
want to kick ye. All men am de
same. Call 'em cons or Call 'em
hobbies, but he who goes slashing
around widout carin' whar he puts
his feet will make twenty inemies
whar he gains one friend. Study
your man. Take him apart-put
him togeder-tin' out whar his CONS
lay, an den step high an softly"