The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-06-24
[san Francisco ohronlcle.l
The Trout Fishing Liar.

'sThe trout liar" said Captain Herbert, sis
the gem of all fishers. He is the sadde-rock
liar; moose among antelopes; Hyperion to
satyr; he is the long-tai ed comet among the
quetstwinklers. All men cannot be trout liars
The trout liar must be born with a peculiar fit
ness for the task, and then he must be educated
to it and make lies life-work.
sWhen David said in his haste, 'All men
are liars Saul and Abinadab, Doeg and Ed
monte, had probably just returned from trout
fish down along the brook in the valley Eah,
and were telling what they had seen and what
they had done, and David, as he listened to
them numbering the unarmed truth. naturally
supposed there was no more truth left IN the
| hearts of men in all the wide world,
81 he trout liar exceeds all other liars, be-
| cause the man who has done any amount OF
| trout fishing u.s. to a certain extent, travelled
| man. 1t is his custom to sit on the veranda
| and tell his stories, crushing all competition,
and putting his feet on the neck of all ordinary
| striped bass and land-locked salmon liars But
If it happen that juss as he has told his master
| piece the opposition trout liar comes in with
| right bower, genuine royal flush OF front
lie the first liar is hurt to the heart he is de-
| jected and sorrowful and says not another word
that night. But ne draws new inspiration from
defeat, ard the very next place he goes to he
appropriates the lie that paralyzed him, and,
| unblushingly claiming it as his own, defiant
ly brushes down all pitiful competition with
browning lie that only two days before crush
ed aim.
"There are several kinds of trout liars. The
liar of weights, who never catches more than
half dozen trout day, but they each weigh
anywhere from eight toSten pounds. Then
there is the liar of numbers who always catches
| SO many dozen in one hour and twenty-eight
minutes. And there is the liar OF places, who
| knows hidden pools, dark and still, in the Sc
cret places of the rocks, that are just boiling oy-
| er with trout, and he takes you under many
| oaths of secrecy and by stealthy and circuitous
| routes to these Places and you fish in than for
| eight mortal hours without nibble.
"But you can never corner a trout liar. Arith-
metic, facts, science, probabilities, precedent,
general principles and eternal fitness OF things
| may combine in overwhelming array to prove
| him the awfullest liar in England or America;
| it doesn't disturb him. He lies on, calmly, CON-
| fidently, enthusiastically, always locating the
scene of his lies far away he is pretty certain
| you will never go there.
| "There are limits to human belief, the good
| jester said rising to his feet. "You may believe
| what the candidate says on the stump: you
| may believe what man tells you in horse
| trade; you may believe the army liar, and you
| may believe the snake liar, but when a man
| takes his cigar from his lips, and with simple
| prefix of place and date, starts in on a trout
| story, bar and bolt and lock and double lock
| the gates of your belief when he gets to the
mace. Don't believe single, solitary trout,
not though it weighs less than pound.
Under the shadow of the trout, truth dies and
the manlthat fishes four days and only hooks
one lone trout, SO small that he looses it in his
empty basket, comes home the biggest liar OF
then, all ..-