The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-11-24
A WIDOWS COW.
How bismarck Mitchell Outwittsd tAs
Canadian Cabinet.

NV. A. Croffut In Detroit PostI
While in Montreal / heard q good
story of Sir Peter Mitchell, member of
Parliament for New Brunswick. He
was an opposition member during the
lamentable government of Sir John
Mackenzie, in the last decade, and was
most constant and uncomfortable
thorn in the side of that unhappy
Premier. Sir John was conspicuous as
railroad magnate, and, just before the
opening OF Parliament one winter, Sir
Peter called on him to induce him to
pay $40 for a widows COW that had been
run over by the cars. ~ don't believe
there is anything in it'll" exclaimed the
Premier peremptorily; "it's probably a
trumped-up case. but I'll inquire, and
you can call tomorrow"
The gentleman from New Brunswick
was not used to being treated 30 caval-
ierly, but he pocketed it, and called in
the morning.
"There's no justice in it; we won't
pay for the cow" broke in Sir John.
"You won't, won't you ?" rejoined Sir
Peter, with a manner quite as bouncing
as that of the leader of the govern
ment. "Have you been there or sent
there and investigated it?"
mo, haven't, but won't pay for the
COW. It's q mere trife, and she ought
to have kept it off the track"
Don't the law say you shall have .
fence"
II won't pay for the COW. now, and
that's all the answer you'll get!"
"You won't pay for the widows COW,
won't you? Sir John Mackenzie, I'll
make you pay for i'll" exclaimed Sir
Peter, now thoroughly aroused.
"You will you will! How will your
growled the Premier.
I'll take it out of you during the
session, as sure as you're a living mani
The widows $40 isn't anything, isn't it!
I'll take it out of your
1t was an Irishman against Scotch
man, and both were angry. The sequel
proved that Sir Peter "took it out of
him." very thoroughly. He is round
headed man, hard worker, pugnac-
ious and redoubtedable foe, an unfor-
giving enemy, bold and eloquent in de-
bate, no dilettant, but hard hitter, and
some of his onslaughts were furious.
If he had not great tact he has great
force, and he never forgot the COW. In
the speeches he made every day against
the measures and methods of the gov
eminent, then under serious suspicion,
he told the story of the COW, and trot-
ted her out with frequency that must
have seemed like cruelty to animals.
Finally the last day of the session
dawned, and the consideration of Mac
kenzie's expense budget was resumed.
1t provided the appropriations for the
coming year.
Sir Peter Mitchell took the floor and
launched into eulogy of the deceased
COW and the propriety of making an APP
preparation for the widow He was
greeted with laughter and mock APP
plause, and then his auditors waited I'M
easily for him to finish He did not
finish. He told the story over again.
with embellishments and Celebrations.
He contrasted the stinginess of the
wealthy ruler with the quiet endurance
of the penniless widow. He began to
read from the Bible the commands to
mercy, justice and charity, when the
honorable members struggled out one
by one to dinner. Sir Peter bit bis
cult, drank swallow of water and con-
tinued, impressing upon the empty
chairs about him the tender duties and
graces Of humanity. Members stray
gled in again. He quoted the Song of
the Shirt. They appealed to him to
draw his remarks to close. He retold
the story of the COW. Meantime Sir
John Mackenzie was perspiring with
wrath and anxiety in the Premier's
apartment hard by. All his hopes were
bound mp in the Appropriation Budget.
What if it should not come to II vote
The honorable member from New
Brunswick could not be stopped, for
this was the one bill in q Canadian par
lament on which member could
speak as long as he wished. There was
no way of cutting short the debate. No
| motion was in order while he was
speaking except the motion to adjourn
and that would be adjournment sine
die. The government members were in
CONSERVATION as the orator delivered
q speech on the blessings of vaccina-
ton, gave statistics on the cost of fences
! in the United States, passed an elabor-
ate encomium on the superiority, for
draft purposes, of Devon cattle, to
which class the deceased domestic
friend of the bereaved widow belonged,
and then began to describe the religious
ceremonies in which the sacred COW of
Burmah takes part, when the bell rang
for vespers. A short time more and
the session would expire by law, and
the government had passed no appro-
priation bill
At this critical juncture one of the
government members returned excited
| ly from the Premier's room, rushed to
the orators desk, and exclaimed: "In
the name of God, what ails you, Mitch
ell? What do you want 2" and STILL"
said Sir Peter, finishing the sentence he
had on his lips, mot cent has ever
been paid for the widows cowp The
member uttered vehement exclama-
ton about that animal, and added. "Sir
John Mackenzie authorizes me to say
that he will pay for the COW if you'll let
this bill come to vote"
Sir Peter sat down rather tired. and
the widow got her pay The govern
ment organs declared that the widows
4 L. u