The Tombstone epitaph., 1882-05-20
A LEGAL PHILOSOPHER
Carrying . Full-PigGed Court or
 His HtD.


 His Hip.
 An EPITAPH reporter happened into the office of the district attorney last evening in his eager search for news, and found assembled three citizens, one of whom the district attorney introduced as Mir. Smith, of -. The gentleman just named was talking, and the reporter making an excuse for the interruption, promised to listen. Mir. Smith continued: "I hate to live in a new country, where there is no law" Yer bet" chimed in third party; Claw is the only thing that keeps us out of ever lasting chains" Yes, indeed" sad Price; "it IS the bulwark of the poor mans liberty; the shield which the strong arm of justice throws over the weak the solace and balsam of the unfortunate and wrOnged; the "Oh, stop 'er," remarked the silent man in the dark corner behind the desk. "I won't have it that way. Law is boss invention for rascals of all grades. Give me country where there is no law and can take care of myself ev- cry time. Now, for instance, when l lived Tn Ohio 1 got dose of law that 1 will never forget. l was in partnership with man named Butler. and one morn. ing we found our cashier missing with Po,ouo' t1C uau uIdSSCu Luc bttic anu SOl it out. We'll, I started after him, and caught him in Chicago, where he was splurging around on the money. I got him arrested, and there was an exsmina- tion. We'll, all the facts were brought out and the defense moved that the case be dismissed, as the prosecution did not make out a case in the name of the firm, and that if there was firm the co-partnership had not been shown by any evidence before the court. To my as. tonlshment the court said the plea was 0. K. and dismissed the case. Before I could realize what was up, the thief had walked off. We'll, 1 followed him to St. Louis, and there 1 tackled him again. l sept for my partner and we made com- plete case, going for him in the name of the commonwealth, and Smith, Butler & O. We'll, the lawyer for the defense claimed that the money being taken from private drawer in the sate, was my money exclu- sively, and that my partner had nothing to do with it; that the case should be prose- cuted by me individually and not by the firm. The old 'bloke' who sat on the bench wiped his spectacles, grunted around awhile and dismissed the case. Away goes the man agai7. Then got another hitch on him and tried to convict hlm of theft, but the court held that he should be charged with embezzlement Some years after tackled him again, and they let hlm go, statutes of limitation, you see We'll, concluded to give 1t up, and l did. But | about four years afterwards l came to Tucson and a man pointed to another and said: That fellow has just made $100, ,OOO out of mining swindle." I looked at him and it was my old cashier 1 fol- | lewed hlm to the Palace hotel, and nailed him in his room with the money. "Now," I says, Billy, do you recognize your old | boss ?" and of course he did. Says I, Bill | l want that 5000 you stole from me, with the interest and all legal and travelling eX- penses."
 "Ah, youw said he didn't the courts de. eide" "Curse the courts" says 1 put ting six.shooter, foot long, under his nose. That's the kind of legal docu- ment I'm travelling on now. This is the complaint, warrant, indictment, judge, | jury verdict, and sentence all combined, and the firm of Colt < O., New Haven, are my attorneys in the case. When they speak, they talk straight to the point of your mug, you bloody larceny thief. This jury of six, of which l am foreman, is lia- ble to be discharged at any moment No technicality or statutes of limitations here, and stay ot proceedings won't last over four seconds. want $l0,000 to settle my bill, or I'll blow your blasted brains out" Well, he passed over the money right away and said he hoped there'd be no hard feelings Now there's some Arizona law for you, and it's the kind for me; Eh, boys" And large majority of his aud. | fence concurred in the cheapneSS and eff. cacy of the plan by which man could carry his court on his.hip instead of appeal ing to the blind goddess in Chicago and and St. Louis.
 District Attorney Price demurred and asked what he would do if Billy" applied to the courts at Tucson to recover the money extracted under duress! The phi. losopher answered that he was sa.ely in the midst of his prospect holes in the Santa Cstalinas, in few hours afterwards, and had prepared his Winchester to enter a demurrer in case the officers of the law did moi like the decision of his court