River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-07-20
HUMOR.

nUMUh.
A Methodist itenerant preacher once
breakfasted at house where johnny
cakes were served. Observing feath-
er protruding from his cake he remark
ed, SISTER, your johnny cake seems to
be fe&thering out" Eyes, responded
the lady. unabashed. 81 told John no
longer ago than yesterday that he
must either get cover for that meal
barrel or move the hen roost."
The full term of three years had
nearly expired, and they were discuss
ing at the breakfast table the certainty
that they must move, and the uncer-
tainty as to where, when the young
miss of the parsonage drew a heavy
sigh. Sympathizing father asks the
cause, and she replies, "Oh, | was
thinking what mistake mother and /
made when we married Methodist
minister"
"Porter," said a passenger from Al
bany on the New York Central rail-
road, as he stepped into his sleeping
berth, 'tcall me at Lyons, sure" "All
right, sab" Late next morning he
called him. 'Only 20 minutes from
Buffalo, sab" "Why didn't you call
me at Lyons?" "Lyons?' Fore good
ness, OATS it! You did Say Lyons for
suah, boss, an | done fought ober de
whole circus, an / hope to die eff |
could ketch onto any animile higher
dan Buffalo! III remember de cage
next time, boss"
An Irish laborer was taken to a con-
cert for the FIRST time and was asked
how he liked it. "Well," he replied,
81 liked it all except a piece they
called euarthet. They didn't know
that at all. Furrust the two ladies be-
gun singing, and the min waited fur
them to sthop, but thin they got tired
NV waitin' and stharted in anyhow.
But the ladies kipt on, as it was quite
right they should, and thin whin they
all sthopped singin' the gurrel at the
pianny she didn't know the piece was
done and just kipt on whole by her
self. They spoilt it intlrely, but | didn'
loike the piece anyway"
A gentleman in a village in New
York state had family of three or four
little girls. Not long since the children
were talking about pair of twins.
| One OF them, an elder one, turned to
| h er father and said: "Papa, what do
they call it when three babies come at
once?" A little one, who was much in
terested in the conversation, and who
had heard talk about the small pox, at
once interrupted and SAID with much
animation, 81 know, papa" "Well,
what ko they call it?" said the father,
"An epidemic" said the little one,
proudly displaying her knowledge.
"Sir !" began Detroiter, as he en-
tered the grocery the other morning,
tSir! ordered some butter of you
yesterday !'' "Yes--ah-I know, meant
to have it sent up, but forgot it. You
shall have it right away" "Sirl the
butter came up on time" "Oh-ah-
it did, Ell? Well, Pm sorry it was poor,
but we shall have some better in a day
or two" ''Sirl the butter came up on
time, and was all right, best I've seen
in year" "You don't say SO! Certain-
ly-iust so-I'll make up the weight on
the next lot" Sir the butter was
good, the weight correct, and l called
to order six pounds more" 'Is il
possible? Well, / do declare Their
that was it2 Well, well-but accidents
will happen in the best regulated fami-
lies, you know. Sorry, but will do bet
ter next time"
Quite sensation was at circus al
Marquette, Mich, last week. In III
act where circus rider disguised as 9
drunken tramp falls into the ring anC
wants to ride horse, the ring master
threw the drunkard out, and with
much seeming Indignation asked why
there were no policeman around tC
keep order. AGerman policeman was
standing by, and knew the man be-
longed to the circus, felt indignant al
having the police abused, SO he took
the alleged drunken man, notwith-
standing the circus people tried to ex-
plain the circumstances, and hustled
him off to the lookup, and the act was
left out After the show the proprietor
went to the Jail and got the performer
out, and abused the policeman a little
for being so of1icious. The policeman
said "Vell, choke is choke, but
ven a man gay verer de hell is de bo-
ice, and Wy don'd dey arrest dat drunk
man, den the Marquette bolice is in
dot vicinity, and don'd you forget it,
Mr.. Circus"
One Of those unnaturally bright
children who are always getting people
into difficulties was at prayer meet
ing the other evening with his mother,
when he asked aloud:
No linn n
Moore?"
"Hu-u-sh," whispered his mother,
cautiously, "it's hymn"
"No, it amt, ma," continued the
hopeful, otis woman's name; say
who's going home to Dnah Moore?"
willie" said his mother in a ghast-
ly voice, "you're disturbing the meet
ing. 1t means going home to die no
more"
"Dine no more O, ma. don't they
eat anything there ?"
His mother explained as well as she
could, and Willie sat still for half a
minute, his bright eyes rowing about
the church Then he asked in a shrill
whisper:
"Ma, is God out of town"
'No-o-o, no-no," answered the dis
tracted woman, family.
"Then what's Mr.. Kelley running
this meeting for, MAJ continued the
sweet child.
The choir sung him down, but as
the meeting closed with a moment of
silent prayer, his gentle voice was dis
tinctly heard.