Morning journal and courier., 1882-06-02
DUBIOUS.

Cotton keeps abreast of the times.-Nel0
York Nelcs.
In the new arithmetic one reads: I'm
one lot there are four calves and in another
two young men with their hair banged. How
many calves in all ?"-Rochester Democrat.
1t is said new that Manager Stetson will go
to Europe in July, and when he gets there
that he intends to hunt up Eur1pldes and
prevail upon him to write a new Greek TRACE
dy-Boston TraUeLzer.
The New York Post says that good way
to restore faded straw hat to its original
color is to wear q sponge wet with ammonia
inside of it. The same receipt will also re-
store faded head.-Detr0tt Free Press.
A bald headed man who purchased front
seat for a show of the Black Crook brand eI-
planned that he could not hear very we'll A
few nights later he was seen at a lecture, sit
ting on seat farthest from the stage. OF
course he might have fully recovered his
hearing in three days but such apparent in
congruities are apt to occasion remark.-Ihs
J1Ldge.
A new sub order of odd toed ungulates, or
hoofed quadrupeds, named Condylarthra, has
been proposed and extended by Professor
Cope to include early tertiary mammals con-
stitutine two families, the Phenacedontidas
and Menisco theriide The Critic. This
news greatly relieves u.s.. We have long sus-
pected that this would have to be done, and
are much pleased to have our suspicious con-
firmed in the above manner.-HdrUdrd Lam
pO071.
A St. Louis editor accidentally received in
his morning mail proof sheets intended for
the employees of a religious publication
house, and. after glancing over them, rushed
to the CITY editor, yelling: "Why in the
world didn't you get a report of that big
flood? Even that slow old religious paper
across the way is ahead of you. Send out
your force for full particulars one fam
ily saved. Interview the old man. His
name is Noah. "-Independen
When fond mother finds that her six
year-old boy knows the difference between
blue pencil and a black one she is sure he
will be great artist; when he shows ten
dency to make mud men she knows he will
be famous sculptor when he goes ''choo,
choo," along the yard she is certain he was
born for railroad magnate, and when he
afterward settles down to clerking at $40
week she begins for the first time to reflect
that her boy might have made good me-
chanic and be on the high road to comfort If
not to fortune but then, alas, it is too late.
The ambition of American mothers, beautiful
as such doting love is, must be held RESPONSE
BILE for good many of the missed callings in
this country. Philadelphia NeanS.
story is narrated of the present Bishop
of Limerick which, coming from Lord Emily,
must be true The Bishop, who has for some
time back been in extremely delicate health,
was told some days since by his physician
that trip to Nice was positively necessary
to set him up in health; but he positively
declined to entertain the idea of going, and
shook his head so determiRately that the man
of pills and potions thought it only right to
express himself in plain terms. "My lord, "
he said, very solemnly, II tell you candidly
that your case is a most serious one, and if
you do not 20 to Nice you must very soon
90 to heaven" aOh well, in that case"
said the Bishop, very dismally, II will go to
Nice !"-L6te.
Now rake up your yards aud slick up around,
The most useful OF all the spring lAboTs;
Pick up The old you find on the ground,
Sling them over the fence to your neighbors
DSrri