Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1882-11-18
LAUGH AND <:rsOW FAT.

y StuOoi III - WV
bv cro>S-cyed teacher. That boy that
am looking al will step out on the iioor.'
Twemty->rven stepped ont.
Doctor-"Wcll. Pat, have YOU taken
the box of pills sent you:" lnt-"leS.
sir. be, iaber>, have. but don't feel any
bctt,r vet. may bc the lid hasn't come oil
vet"
Jones asked his wife: why i huS-
band like dough" lie expected Sh"
would give it up ard WAS going To tell
her it Was bcvau>c a woman nccIS him;
hut She said it WAS because hr WAS hard
to get oil her hands.
! "johnny," said the teacher. ~ lie can
hc acted ~ we'll ~ told. Now II your
father should put sand m his sugar and
sell it lac would b. acting lie and doing
very wrong" "rhat'> what mother told
him. ." said Jonnuy impriuou>ly, "anl he
said hr didn't care darn
An Arkau>a, bo,, " ho had been rcad-
ing u humorous paper, remarked {" lis
Gather. who WAS in the field 'cralling'
wheat: say, pap, why does your cradle
cut unwillmg,y:' Because il j. dull,
reckon. replied the ol.i man. No. sill
the boz. 'brcau>c it zoe, against the grain.
This WAS = very pretty conrrit at u ro-
mantle husband and father whose name
WA, Rose. who named his daughter wild.
SO that she grew mp under the appcliatiom
of "Wnd Rose" But the romance of tie
name WAS sadly spoiled in "a few years
whru she married man 10y the name "f
Bull"
".Iohn, what i that peculiar smell ::
asked "a mans wife a. hr was trying to
steal in bed without waking her, about
o'clock a. M That i the incense "" u>"
in the lodge room. my dear; 1t cNhalrs-
it cNhalc>-" "lrs, know now, she
she interrupted. Il recognize the odor--
NN ale "
\ little 3-vclr-old. whose mother was
mixing simple cough medicine iol him,
watched the process, and asked II II Was
good. lie was permitted Ia taste II, nnd
having discovered bitterness in the de
coctiou, which MAS rot suitable Ia the
present want, of hi> palate, exclaimed:
i. j. awful good mamma; lets keep 1t
all for papa
\ famous North Carolina clergyman
while preaching "a few sundays since
from the tex "!lc sivcth his beloved
Sleep" stopped in The middle of the dis
course. galrd upon the slumbcring con-
grcgation and said: "Brcthrcn, it j. hard
To rcalilr the mbound"l love which the
Lord appear, to have for u large portion
of my auditory"
Two countrymcn from Onion Creek
went to an Austin lawyer to consult about
briuging joint suit against ncighbor
The first stranger began to tell the lawyer
the cause of trouble, rmbcllishing IL rather
liberallv. "Dou't tell him any lies, Bill"
interrupted the other. at i his business
to put ia the lies. Iou will get him cun-
fused If Won 20 mi King your lies with his"
An Iri.hman tried To shoot n little chip
ping bird with an old Queen Anne mus
krt. He fired. The bird, with n chirrup
or two. flew away unconccrncd Ia the
foreground. anI Pat was swiftly and
noisclcssly laid on his spine In The back
ground. Picking himself up and shaking
his fist at the bird, he exclaimed: "Bc
iabers, We wouldn't have chirrupcd II
yc'd been at this ind of the gum
I.ayin' cont another railroad!"
surveying for ohe?'
Coin threw my barm?'
"Don't see how we can avoid it,
''Wcll, now, mister" said the worthy
farmer, II calkcrlatc I'm got somethin'
few ,av bout that. want ycw tcw un-
dcr-tan' that I've got sumthn' else tcw
dew besides runnin' out 10 open and shct
them doors every time a train wants TO 20
threw
Mddlctown, Conn, will please go 10
the head. Que Of its farmers has just
made a wonderful discovery of the util-
iIation of bultrogs ~ churncrs. The
''' .''' ""''"7 pm r
'l"'"5 VI vac W 'oo' wv
there the next morning and found, 1t Il
'''u''"'' 80"
'',''H ''' ,, L,.,,..
p'"'''' '''''' 'P''. -,
''' '''' P''''''''' -
Jumped from the water into the pail. and
=. -. al; Lt,.L.lf L.I lao dill
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