Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-06-08
PUNGRyT PARAGRAPHS.
Annie r. Carpenter

Many lightning rod sgen! has been
known to strike twice in the same
place.
A dumb-bell raises the muscle, while
a belle that is not dumb simply raises
the temper.
The proper remedy for young lady.
who is short Of stature is TO get spliced
as sooa az possible.
We saw 4 man yesterday who had no
advice to give an editor regarding the
tone OF his paper. He was dead.
A man adyertises: Hands wanted
on boys pants" Hands won't do any
good out this way; it takes q leather
strap.
An Arkansas editor fays: Our women
are accused OF being fond Of whistling.
Well, so he it. What is more lovely
than tulips well blown?
A scientist claims to have discovered
q species Of wasp tha. does not sting.
What lots of fun he must have aad in
experimenting before he found ii.
1t is said that a process has been dis
covered for bottling sunshine. This
will be a great boon for Sunday-school
picnics when calght in thunderstorm.
Tho eyes Of the snail boy are bigger
than his stomach until be has eaten
green apples, then the stomach appears
TO be bigger than anything else in the
world 70 him.
"What did yoa DO to break that
vaseT "Ah, madame nothing could
be easier. had it in my hAnd-like
this-and / struck 1t against the CT
ner OF the table, So" And h. breaks
the mate to it
"a dog with a memory" is the tie of
an article in daily paper. In this par
ticular tho animal doesn't strikiagly re-
semble the young man who borrows ten
dollars and promises to return it "ne1t
Saturday night"
"a newspaper under the vest makes
capital chest protector" Care should
be taken. however, to select paper on
which there is nothing due. Dew Gre
stes dAmpDess, and the weare- might
catch cold therefrcm.
lis there such thing as luck p
asks a correspondent. There is. For
instance, If you go home at . o'clock in
the morning, after promising your wife
te be in early, and find her asleep, and
don't tumble over any chairs, that's
luck, but IL isn't to be depended on.
The old man sighed as he took the
golden.haired. laughing boy upon his
knees, and stroking his shining tresses,
said: "Ah how much 1 should like TO
feel like q child again" Little Johnny
ceased his laughter, and looking sober
ly up into his grandfather's face re-
marked; "Tben why don't you get
mamma to spank Your
DESTINY.
Three mAidens, bright and pretty as can be,
80 that scarce can choose between the three,
Sat Sunday evening in the gallery.
The first her mother joined when church was
done,
and two we're left--I wanted only one.
The second met come other girls. and took
Her homevard way with them-without alook.
Tho third another fellow got-while
Went home alone. Can this be destinyG
A man Who believes in self improve.
ment suggested 10 his wife recently
that they should argue some question
frankly and freely every evening. and
try to learn more Of each other. The
question Tor the FIRST night happened 10
be, Whether q woman could be ex-
pectcd 10 get along without hat" and
he took the affirmative but when he
was last seen he had climbed into the
hayloft, and was pulling the ladder up
after him.
Ono by one the illusions Of centuries
are being dispelled. The Roman Pan.
theoh has been considered q temple of
the gods for ages, but an archaoIogiHs
has recently discovered beyond dOabs
that it was simply Agrippa's bath-house.
Agripra vas rich Roman general who
could afford such extrAvngancos. The
seven large inches in tho walls were in
tended for furnaces 70 heat The place.
not, as vas supposed, 10 hold the
statues of the principal gods. II they
search 9 lille closer they may, perhaps
ind ths nail in The vail wheFo Gip
hung his shirt when ha took hia morn.