The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-09-08
ADVICE TO YOUNG MAN.
Although Written by a Jester, 1t is by no
Means Foolish Folly.
Burdette in Haickeye.


Burdette in Hackeye
Get married, me boy. Telemachus, come
up close, and look me right in the eye, and
listen to me with both ears. Get married.
III you never do another thing in the world,
marry. You can't afford it? Your father
married on smaller salary than you are
getting now, my boy, and he has eight chill
dren, doesn't have to work very hard, and
every year he pays great pile of your little
bills that your salary won't cover. And your
father was just as good man at your age as
you are now. Certainly you can afford to
marry. You can't afford not to. No, I'm
not going to quote that tiresome old saying,
that what will keep one person will keep
two, because 1t won't. A Thousand dollar
salary won't keep two one thousand dollar
people, but 1t will keep two five hundred
dollar people nicely, and that's all you are,
Just now, my boy. You need not vince or
get angry. Let me tell you, young man
who rates In the world as five hundred dol
lar man, all the year. round, Monday as we'll
as Saturday, the day after Christmas just as
well Is the day before; the fifth of July as
we'll as the third, he Is going to rate higher
every year, until he Is partner, almost be-
fore he hoped to be q bookkeeper. Good
reliable five hundred dollar young people are
not such drug In the market as you sup
pose. You marry, and your wife will bring
tact, and love, and skill, and domestic geni-
US, and womanly economy that will early
double your salary. But you would have to
deny younelf many little luxuries and liber-
ties9 Certainly you would; or rather you'd
willingly give them up for greater luxuries.
And you don't want to shoulder the burdens
snd cares of married life ? see you do not.
And see what you do not realize perhaps,
that all your objections to marriage are mean
and selfish. You haven't given one manly
reason for not marrying. II you do marry,
you are going into world of new cares, new
troubles, new endorsements. You are 60
ing to be careful, and worried about many
things. You are going to be tormented with
household cares and perplexities, all new
and untried to you. You will have
to stay at home In the evening, when you
used to 70 the club. Your wife will have so
much to do looking after the comfort Of her
husband and children that she won't be able
to sing and play for you every evening, as
your sweetheart did. Your time will not be
your own, and you will have less leisure and
freedom for fishing and shooting excursions,
camps In the mountains, and yachting trips
along the coast, than your bachelor friends
Of your own age. / admit all this. But
then you will be learning self denial; you
will be living for some one else; you will be
loving some one else better than you love
yourself, and more than thousand fold that
compensates for all that you give up.
Why you want to remain single now, my
boy, Is just because you are selfish. And
the longer you stay single the more this sell
fshness will grow upon you. There are
some noble exceptions among bachelors,
know, and some mean ones among married
men; and a selfish married man needs killing
more than any other man know; but as =
rule, just look around among your own
friends, and see who are the unselfish men.
Who is it that gives up bis seat in a street
car to awoman, not pretty young girl, but
homely, wrinkled woman in shabby dress;
who Is 1t leads the charity subscriptions;
who the largest pew rent; who feeds the beg
gars; who finds work for the tramps; who
are the men foremost In unselfish work?
know, Jour young bachelor friends are not
stingy. Oh, no. know Jack Fastboy paid
$57o last week for new buggy-itis is as light
as matchbox, and has such narrow seat
that he can never ask friend to ride with
him; and at the same time, Dick Slocum,
who married your sister Alice five years ago,
gave $3.50 for the cyclone sufferers. think
the angels laughed all that afternoon, my
boy, but don't think 1t was because Jack
paid $570 for his new buggy. If you want
to shirk the responsibilities Of life, my dear
boy, you may; If you want to live forty or
fifty years longer with no one under the
heavens to think about or care for, or plan
for, but yourself, 60 ahead and do it; you
will be the only loser; the world won't miss
you nearly so much as you will miss the
world; you will have mean, lonely, selfish,
easy time, and unless you are rare excep-
tion to your class, little children will hate
you, and the Gods never yet loved any man
whom the children disliked. ~
But you can't find the right sort of girl,
you say. Oh, yes, understand all that, my
son. have heard much of that before. You
mourn and grieve over the lack of true wo-
manhood among the girls of your acqaint-
ance. Mere butterflies of fashion, you say,
who can rattle the keys of q grand piano,
dance like fairies, chatter nonsense and so.
ciety nothings by the hour, and for their
lives cannot bake loaf Of bread, roast =
turkey, do . days washing, or make shirt.
You say you demand the noblest type of USE
full womanhood in your wife, and you want
to know where you can fn,l the wife you
want? Well, / will tell you, my dear boy.
If that Is the sort of woman you wan, marry
Nora Mulligsn, your laundress's daughter.
She wears cowhide shoes, Is guiltless of cor
sets, never had sick day In her life, takes
In washing, goes out house-cleaning, and
cooks for family Of seven children, her
mother, and three section men who board
with her. I don't think she would marry
you, because con Regan the track walker, is
her style of man. She Ia the useful sort of
woman you appearto want, but 1 don't think
she'd look at you twice. You won't work,
snd Con would. My dear boy, Nora Multi
gan will have none Of you; she wants .
higher type Of true manhood. You expect
to hire men to do all the mans work about
the house, but you want your wife to do
everything that q woman can do. Believe
me, MY dear boy, nine.tenths Of the girls who
play the piano and sing 20 charmingly, whom
you In your limited knowledge set down Is
'smers butterflies Of fashion," are better tit
ted for wives than you are for husband.
The girls know more about these things than
vou sn Tr vou wanf m xnarrv . ts~.x o1~.~