Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-06-10
WIT AND WISDOM.

| uOuDle-4Gaueu WOHliU WeuI III lISc.
EVERY man in the world has master
whom he is trying all the time to please
and that master Is himself
MINING projects are ont of favor. Peo-
pie are sick of the hole business. .-Bos.
ton Bulletin.
"DoEs poultry pay?" asked a stranger
of city dealer. "Of course" was the
reply, "even the little chickens shell
out.
IT Is suspected that the science in
whose interest many boys are allowed
| to shoot our song birds is the science of
millinery. y.-Boston transcript.
WHEN the English got rid of Jumbo
they did not lose the largest elephant
in the world. they have got the Irish
question on hand yet.-Teras SJtings.
SoPHRoNIA &" What is philosophy 2"
| 1t is something that enables rich man
to say there is no disgrace In being
| poor. .-iSODlerUiHc Journal.
An innocent person asked an editor
the difference between prose and poet
ry, and the editor replied that prose
was reld.--NOrristOtOn Herald.
CAMELs are said to thrive in Arizona,
ment on account of being able to go so
long without drinking.
In one lot there are four calves and
in another two young men with their
hair parted in the centre. How many
calves in all ?
PROFESSOR HEDGE, of Cambridge, has
said great many good things in his
fA Irtf nfh
"What we need most is not to realize
the ideal, but to idealize the real."
WHAT inquiries the editor Of the
Philadelphia Times, "shall we do with
our girls?" He can do as he likes with
his. but we warn him to let ours alone.
-Elmiro Free Press.
An exchange says Jesse James died
poor That is his own fault. He ran
through great deal of property, mostly
land, during his life. He ran through
some of it very rapidly, too.-1eras
.S:ftings.
"YoU have played the deuce with my
heart, said a gentleman to his lady
partner during a game of whist.
"Well," replied the lady, with an arch
smile, sit was simply because you
played the knave."
"SAM, you are not honest. Why do
you put all the good peaches on the top
| of theNmeasure and the little ones be-
low?" Same reason, sab, dat makes
de front of your house marble and de
back gate mostly slop bar'l, sah."
SAID his prudent friend: "Why SO
for carriage is extravaganza. Go in
horse car or take herdic." And the
extravagant man replied 81 can't.
You see the woman I'm going to take is
| not my wife Boston Post.
I wILLIE's IN THE DEEP, DEEP WE'LL.
Oh. mother you had better be git, git, git
ting.
For Wnlie's in the deep, deep well,
So You had better chuck aside your knit,
knit, knitting
He was drowning of the cat and in he fell
SENATOR EDMUNDs, of Vermont, says
it should be every young mans object
to pursue private calling, inform him.
self on public affairs, always participate
in elections and leave public honors and
responsibilities to seek him, not he
them.
IT was DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes,
we believe, TO whom, as he waited for
prescription, the druggist said :: ''That
Is my son, sir, sitting by you; don't
you think he looks like me p "Well,
yes, replied the poet, ''I think l can
see some OF your liniments in his face.
a PHILADELPHIA girl was so thought
less as to tell friend at her wedding
the names of the donors would not be
displayed with the presents. Of course
the friend told Her wedding came off
the other day, and the presents were
not displayed, either. They consisted
of 1872 plated sugar spoons and $50
salt cellars. Philadelphia Ne'0s.
WHAT to him was love or hope
What to him was JOY or care? He
stepped on plug of Irish soap the girl
had left on the topmost stair and his
| feet flew out like wild, fierce wings and
he struck each stair with a sound like
drum. and the girl below with the scrub
bing things laughed like fiend to see
him come.
PEOPLE look upon things very differ
emily and according to circumstances.
When a boy who could play ball longer
than he could study arithmetic was
asked how he liked his teacher he re-
piled, II don't like him at all. Why he
| does nothing in the world but stand up
there aud ask us fellows questions all
day. One would think he didn't know
anything at all. ."
A GUMAIY whose fortune is far from
being as ample as he pretends, makes a
/ speciality of showing himself in front OF
| expensive restaurants, where, however,
he does not dine-far from it His
friends, having seen nothing OF him for
some days, begin to ask each other
what has become of him. 81 hear he is
laid up with an attack of Indigestion.
"Ah, of tooth-picks p
L'ENFANT TERRIBLE" Tell your
mother ISa coming, to see her" said a
lady on Austin avenue to Mrs. Gibson
Bigeloves little boy, who replied =
i" / m glad you are coming. Mamma
will be glad, too" ''How do you know
your mother will be glad to see me ?"
asked the lady. Because l heard her
tell papa yesterday that nobody ever
came to the house except men with bills
to collect. "-Terds .Siftings.
To CHURCH the two together went,
Both. doubtless on devotion bent.
The parson preached with fluent ease,
On Pharisces and Sadducees.