Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-08-05
HUBBELLS LAST.
TwELvE moxE CIncuLARs SENT
Governmens Depsndsnrss who Were ut First
Overlooked Receive His Blackmail
Letter.


Jay A. Hubbell has reached tho end of
his line in the assessment business. Being
apprised from this city that there were a
number Of males and females enjoying q
compensation for their services in the
privately for list. A dozen names were
forwarded, and how the chairman of the
congressional assessment committee must
overlooked square dozen of assessable
folks. Soon there came to the post Office
letter addressed to "AIiss Sallio Binns,
Post Office, Philadelphia. Pa" "WhO can
Miss Sallie Binns" be wondered the clerk
as he looked at the address. Straightway he
carried the document to Deputy Post
master James Bingham, and asked who
Miss Binns" was, and added that there
were other letters out in the Office for per-
sons around the postOfice whom he did
not know. Colonel Bingham scratched
his head and sent for Postal Inspector
Barrett to ascertain what this could mean
Deacon Barrett was lost in wOnderment,
and it was finally decided to open the let
ter. Insido was found one OF Jay Hub
BELLS famous circulars informing Miss
Binns that per cent. of her salary was
gressional committee, "that in may pre-
pare, print and circulate suitable docu-
mentS illustrating the issues which distin-
guish the Republican party from any
other"
Who the deuce can Sallie Binns be p"
queried Colonel Bingham. "Pll see." So
out he went into the main room and call
ed " Who knows Sallie Binns ~
81 do, Colonel" said Mr.. Irwin. "Sal
lie Binns is one Of de cats IN de cellar,
sir"
"What ~ exclaimed Bingham. "One
of the cats q"
Yes, sir she's do black and white
tabby," was the reply.
eco bring her up herc," said Bingham
breaking out into q roar OF laughter.
Jay Hubbell has assessed her per cent.
Let's see what she has to say:
In a few minutes the female cat was
placed upon the stamping table, and the
boys gathered around. BOlOnel Bingham
assumed serious air, and then began to
read the circular:
My DEAR Miss :. This committee is
organized for the protection of the inter-
ests of the Republican party in each of the
congressional districts in the Union"
Mo-ow." replied Pussy Binns, and the
boys smiled.
Colonel Bingham continued to read in
the same tone as he would sermon:
In order that it may prepare, print
and circulate suitable documents illustra-
ting the issues which distinguish the Re-
publican party from any other, and may
meet all proper expenses incident to the
campaign, the committee feels authorized
to apply to all citizens whose principles or
interests are involved in the struggle
Me Ow.w0w," cried the cat, and the
roars of laughter could be heard all over
tho building.
"Under the circumstances in which the
country finds itself placed, the committee
believes that you will esteem it both a
privilege and q pleasure to make to its
fund contribution, which it is hoped may
not be less than - >"
Meow, meow, wOw.wOw-phlst, ~
and pussy hOwled as if she were getting
her tail cut off, aud jumped around the
table as if she were mad.
"Sho's kicker-bOunce her." yelled a
half dozen of the boys, and pussy let fly
her paws right and left until Bingham
read tho next sentence:
"The committee is authorized to state
that such voluntary contribution from
persons employed in the service of the
United States will not he objected to in
any official quarter"
This assurance seemed to quiet her, and
she sat upon her launches, and, lifting one
foot to her face, began to rub her nose.
"She's got her fingers to her nose, "
roared out one of the boys. "She doesn't
believe it."
Then there was a grand shout.
Pussy, more scared than hurt, made q
leap off the table, and rushed down the
Office to the cellar stairs, and soon disap.
peared. In a few minutes there was a
terrible howl among the cats in the coal
bin. The "me Ows " were loud and long,
60 it was concluded that Sallie Binns had
told the other cats what Jay Hubbell had
done, and they had joined in the kick
against being assessed.
"There's the Independents down in the
cellar" remarked an old employee.
"Hubbell won't get any two per cent. out
| of them"
The letters were addressed to Tabitba
Yard, Maria johnson, Thomas Fentz,
Sallie Binns, Caesar Smith, Jerry Balls,
William Black, Thomas Brick. Joseph
Phistor, G. Arden Wall, Sarah Nader and
Kate Erwal.
II was learned that some wag in the
Office, knowing that tho cats were kept by
| an appropriation from the government,
had forwarded a list Of names to Hubbell,
and complained that the other employees
were assessed while these persons were
overlooked. Hubbell didn't lose a day in
putting the assessment machine in opera.
tion but he will not reap much to aid in
circulation, printing, etc.