The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1882-07-28

An obituary notice in Utah closes
touchingly-"He leaves thirteen wild
ows and ffty-four children"
II takes 6,0o0, 600 miles of fence 10
keep neighbor's cows and hsos out Of
the gardens in this country.
1t Is impossible to find out how
much religion man has 10 his heart
by measuring the length Of his tongue.
As between the cheese press and tbs
printing press the former 10 tao strong.
est, but the latter 10 the more rapid.
Nothing makes 10 much noise as
ricke.y wagon with nothing in IL, un-
less Il be The man who insists on talk
ing when he has nothing to say.
Some Of the river appropriations will
dam up the trout brooks and spoil
good fishing grounds. The congress
men should think Of this as their va
cation comes on apace.
An exchange says it's a very bad
thing TO Got rich too rapidly. We
never thought Of that before; now
here's another danger for uA 70 worry
about and strive 10 guard against.
English doctors say that plants in
sleeping rooms are unhealthy. French
doctors say they produce sweet slum-
bsrs. American doctors don't say
any thing absut il but charge il in the
bill.
Sitting Bull now receives his ration
Of pint Of whiskey daily, and il con.
tsnt. II the Government had only
thought Of this years ago, Mr. Bull
would have been q quiet, peAceable,
drunken citizen all this time.
Il is the general impreasion that q
tin pan fastened 10 . strange dogs tail
will ,Gord the Average boT about all
the fun be wants; bat dogs teeth
fastened Ia boys coat tail has been
known 70 yield his comoAnisns jus. Al
much sport.
81 am ashamed Of the effeminacy o.
my sex" said female orator. "Lool
at your fripperiss aud nupe,auities
Why. fer instance, do YOU need para
soils, when / never u-s oner' Aud
pert minx answered, "B.'c4use you ar
on the shady side OF life"
"Your honor aud g-ntiemsn OF tn
jury, aeknowleIge the reference q
eaunssl OF the other side 10 my gra.
hair. Ny aair Is gray aud I viii COZ
tinue 70 be gay As long as live. Th
hair Of that gentleman Is black an
will continue To be black ~ long q
be dyes"
It's funny; but sofs palmsd won
On can pass hot pi"-plaie TO her neal
eel nsighbor at the table With q smil
a. sweet as distilled honey; while
nau With hand As horny as a croc'
dils's back will drop il to the floor an
howl around like Sioux Indian at
seAlp-dAnce.
II suppose you ara very glad thi
{ your husband 10 entirely cured Of b
rheumatismI' said dsctsr 70 fas
4 ionAbls Galveston lady. "Yes, I sul
pose ought TO be, but from now {
We will have to guess at ths weather
buy Q barometer, IL his homes qu
aching Sefsre damp spell"
Why do children ask such ha
> qusstiOnsi "Are you paid. dear fat
'f or, when your patients die just I
same a. when they get welIi" sc
n be thanked, my child" was the rep
" not 20 beyond the bosom Of his o.
family" 81 am; il were not l Q
afraid you wsuld be beggar."
= A lady and her little daughter pa
. ing out Of church. the child babe goc
. by to q POOrly-dressed little girl. "H
did you know herP' inquired the mo
e or. "Why, you see, mamma, 4
ID came into our Sabbath school alo
~ and made place for her on my sc
and I amiled aud she smiled, and th
d We were acquainted.