National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-05-20
AL SORTS.

Republic the same.
MAN in England recently sold his wife fora
glnss Of alc, and tho ale was not OF any partcu.
larry fine quality, either.
The author Of "see that My Grave is Kept
Green" Is in jail at Indianapolis-not for writing
that song, but on charge Of forgery.
Mn. CHARLES G. FnAScKIYN, the owner of the
house in which President Garfield died last sum.
mer, has Just lost little daughter in Paris from
typhoid foyer.
WHEN Patrick saw the announcement in shop
window, "Grcat Slaughter in Clothing" he
stepped in aud inquired for EVAN Of thin kilt
suis."--BosiOn Transcript.
MRs. MARX HOPKINS has presented to the Uni.
versiy Of California Emmanuel Leulzes histoh-
col picture Washington at Monmouth Tha
painting Is insured for $4,000.
YES" said tho country member, at went to
that variety show because felt sure thered be
nobody there who knew me burned II pretty
much tile whole legislature wasn't therel"
CoSJuGAL amenities; He-"My darling. really
believe my rheumatism has wholly disappeared"
She" oh. am so soTyl Now We shall never
know when the weather is going to change"
Miss ANNA FosrER, the youngest daughter Of
Governor Foster. Of Ohio, Ia TO be married I'm few
weeks to Mr Musscy, the Governors private Sec
retary. They win take bridal journey to Eu-
rope.
coUSr vos MoLrKE, the great field marshal Of
Germany, represents n small borough in the Reich
stag, ana Is conscientious In his attention TO his
duties as deputy that he never misses n sitting
without reason the most urgent nature.
THE Boston Sar has a story about n little girl to
the effect that when some ancied action OF her
wax doll dspleased her she solemnly said:
You'll so TO he'll, you will; lut you won't burn;
you'll Just slzzle." OF courte this happened In
Boston.
EN-SESATon THURMAN was ready with the pre-
dclion while in Louisville tho other day TINT tho
Democrats would carry Ohio this fall When
asked upon what ground he based his belief he
could give none except that "our friends say We
will carry IT,"
NEARLY 5000 has been raised for the Theodore
Parker statue 10y the Boston Memorial Asso.
citation, and Bnlch has promised to give bis SER
vices in making IT, Tho association has voted 10
circulate subscription papers toward raslng n
$4,000 fund for a statue or Garfield
AT n blowing match at Inverness Scotland tho
other day, prize was oiferedto the plowman who
had been total nbsRner from intoxicating
liquors for the longest period. Tic powmen were
quite frank, and the prize was awarded 10 one
who had not drank since dinner, two hours before
CHARLES BASSisrER that inveteatc punster,
coming into cofce.room one stormy night, said:
" He never saw such wind in his life" Saw
wind" replied friend; 81 never heard OF such
thing as seeing wind: pray, what was Il like2"
" Like2" answered Charles, like to have blown
my hat off,"
THE house in Boston in which Wendell Phillips
has lived for forty years is TO be demolished this
week. 1t has ever been studiously plain dwell
Ing, having few treasures except Looks and letters
Mr. Phillips demonstrated against the demolition
because the house was dear to him, but he could
not resist the pressure of business.
THOSE who despise printers Ink little know ia
resources. theatrical company which had been
playing to dreadfully poor audiences were sud-
denly surprised to find their house full. 1t was
explained the next day when they found that the
title of their play had been changed from "Ths
Woman in Red" to "The Woman in Bed"
Golden, pauper-strieken farmers son, refused
seat In the cabinet, and subsequently, baronetcy
and privy counselorship Grote refused peer
age; Drs. Stanley and NaNghen bishoprics, tho
latter twice. Chambers, Of Chambers Journal has
refused knighthood. Such refusas of dignities.
however, bear very small proportion to the re-
quests for EN-. Prime ministers can tell curious
tales on the subject
LUTHER said: "If man is not handsome at
90 strong at 80 learned at 49, AMI rich at so he will
never be handsome, strong, learned, or rich in
this world" Luther no doubt struck the bulls
eye as far as beauty, strength, and learning arc
concerned, but he died before an Office holder had
acquired the art of saving $4,000 year out OF o
salary of S3,O0O hence his remark about riches
don't fit now.-NoriStotUn Herald.
THE latest agony" says Jeems, sis the way
felt this morning. My wife asked me for n Xxx
bill-a twenty you know-and cut the matter
short by telling her 1t could not be did, for the
simple reason that had only matter of dollar
or so in my pocket Il knew you'd tell me that
she said and it's true, too And as looked up
in amazement, she added: 1 looked in your
pockets last night; I've got the twenty Oh, boys.
how felt, but what could DOT"
COLONEL BRoDuEAD, of St. Louis, is supposed to
be q candidate for the Democratic nomination fof
Congress in the Ninth Missouri District. He was
invited to respond to toast at the banquet of the
Army of the Tennessee, held in st. Louis las,
week, TO " Missouri-Her bright egls, borne by
Lyon and Blair, still lights the way to greatness"
He declined, however, on the ground that any
thing he might say in response to the sentiment
would serve to eXasperate and not allay the feel.
ing still existing between the Northern and South.
ern sections of the country.
Dr. A. BURKE, the brother of the assassinated
under secretary, Thomas Burke lives In Lafayette
Ind. He says of his dead brother that he was
noble man in every sense of the word. To my
aged mother he had been the most devoted OF
sons, and under his roof my father passed away
quietly and serencly, surrounded with all filil
love could gather around his last days. To his
brothers and to his sisters he was father more
than a brother, for he insisted ON them all living
together in his palatial residence, thus soaring
with him all the luxuries his eminent political
position entitled him to-"
Ex- CONGRESSMAN CHALMERs's flop into the Inde-
pendent camp has considerably discencerted the
Bourbons. Some of them refuse to believe 1t, and
like the New Orleans Picdylle claim that the re-
port is incredible, that Chalmers lis Democrat
dyed in the wool, and could not be anything elsa
for five consecutive seconds TO save his life"
Others have suddenly discovered that he is no
great shakes" and that the Democrats ought to
have joined with the Republicans years ago in
kicking him out of Congress. Senator George
thinks that the cx.Congres man will find out Chat
he is not the popular mani Mississippi tfat ha
has always regarded himself"
THE readiness, ease, and grace Of Jacl VS. ex-
temporGneous lying commanded respectful atten-
ton wherever he went. Nolocallty coald BIO mem
toned in u casual conversation but te would show
himself TO be familiar with itRnd that In some
| way it was connected with his family. When al
fusion was made to the superiority of Goshen but
| ter he merely observed that old Goshen, who fras
| introduced It into general ue, was his uncle.
| When, on another occasion, al allusion was mado
| to the Natural Bridge Of Virdnia, he remarked
with an uir Of modesy that ie knew all about IL,
and could give its dlmensbns with prCclsionif
desired Gs his father was one Of the contractors
that built it. He was quitean artist In bis way
| Texas SUiings.
blaine Gctting Richer.
81 will bet you 81, 600" said Il New England man
| who sat near, and who comes ircm u country
where they do not always bet, that Blaine win
not take scat IN The lower House, or mako cali
yuss for IT, lie is making something else very fat
| lust now. He Is making money, and good deRi
| Oft Chicago Tribune.