Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-01-25
FlREs,De cHIT-cHAT.

AT evening pu1ticb euoIO eAO oA.o.
straw fans. They are ornsmented with
tiger lilies and sunflowefs.
"THHRr's another man / like better
than you-that's oil there 10 to it, /" wrote
New York wife, on leaving her husband.
An aesthetic young lady tells us that
sour apples are the ones disappointed IN
love. Isn't that sweet ?-PhiindcepAta
Sun.
"Gossrp," says the Queen. II the
patent sign of vulgarity in heart and
mind. It is as thoroughly vulgar as Gu
riosity." ss- $3.50 tst
New York fashionables complain Of
the poor quality of wedding cake. A
paper comforts them by saying that no
sane person ever eats it.
NOTHING is prettier than the cards an
nouncing the birth OF child; and yet
an exchanges mentions them % bawl
tickets.
TIE President, vice president, and
secretary Of the treasury are all widow
ers. What place Washington must BIO
for pretty maidens and widows, to be
sure.
The New York Commercial Advertiser
honestly believes that many men pass
through life without having ever known
the peaceful serenity, the sense of COM
fort, the calm enjoyment Of dining in
claw hammer coat"
A LEADING merchant OF Louisville, re-
fused to buy . sealskin ..sacque for his
daughter. The next day she left the
house, and found employment as q ser
| want. She says she will not return
home until the father yields to her de-
mands.
WOMEN are not half so shy as men. A
| woman will 60 to dry goods store and
| but not one man out of q Thousand will
tire of female clerk.
TIE catholics Of Brunswick, Me-, had
fair recently, and ring worth 81 was
to be given to the most popular girl.
There were two candidates, one q pretty
French girl, who saw signs of being de-
feated. and drawing all her money, $3.50,
from the bank, she bought enough votes
to carry the day.
| In o recent suit before justice in
this city, lady reluctantly testified that
she thought that another Newark lady
might be good enough neighbor il she
lived in locality where the houses were
Is miles apart, and was 80 crippled that
she couldn't come over to gossip or bor-
row.-NesDark Call.
A BosroN esthetec, having invited q
young man from out of town to meet
| "two minds" on . certain evening, he had
to decline her invitation on account of a
previous engagement "to meet four
stomachs." In his opinion "pairs were
not equal to "four of kind" although
We don't suppose they know what such
language means in cultured Boston,
Dc7r0it Free Press.
| A SOCIETY young man of Cleveland is
quoted a. saying: "The girls of this
city are coming right along. I know
five young ladies; three OF them live on
Prospect, one on Euclid and the last on
Clinton Street, who can play just as hard
games Of poker, exercise az good judg-
ment in betting cards aud understand
the relative value Of hands precisely as
well as any five young men l could
NAME"
A YOUNG lady in New York who was
sccosted by well-dressed man in an in
sulting manner, accepted the offer of an
old woman, who was grubbing in an ash
barrel close by, to "cover him with
ashes for ten cents" The biped was
pelted with handfuls Of ashes, covering
him from head to foot before he
could escape. The old woman was re-
warded with quarter by the young
lady, who remained to witness the opera
ton.
"THxY say" is q most Objectionable
form OF expression, and one that has
caused a. much misery ~ any dozen
others put together. Scandals and hurt
full stories always begin with /" they say"
II any one is anxious to worm q secret
out Of another, the chances are they will
begin, "they say" Now who ere
"theyf" In nine cases out of the "they"
are entirely supposi.itious, and in the
tenth they are unworthy. The world
would get on much better If "they were
extinct.-New York Mail and Erpyess.
THERE are doubtless many cases in
Chicago, and more elsewhere, that have
never come to light, similar TO that re-
Gently tried in the Chicago courts. in
which girl brought suit against drug
gist for selling her : cosmetic that rum
ed her complexion, disdgured her fea-
lures and ruined herhealth. The sale of
these poisonous compoundsis unrastrict-
60, and NO one knows the amount Ell
damage done, because the sufferers have
700 much pride to confess their injuries.
The best cosmetic il cold water ana fresh
ar, and there would be more beauty in
the world, and more charming COM
pIexlons. II nothing else were used
Chicago Inter Ocean.
ON Of the young army officers re-
Gently ordered 10 the capital has charm.
ing home in the west end, presided over
~ fair, blue-eyed wife, whose head 10
crowned with masses OF red 0old. and
Whose dainty toilets would never suQ-
ge.t : convent; and YET she was onco .
teh91eQso, member Of one Of the COM
munities established BY the Episcopal
ChuEch to look after ito orphan children.
She NJ devoted TO her little charges
and they to her, and never dreamed OF
otner cares than those Of the "home:"
Dut scarlet fever broke out among the
We iolk, the young army surgeon WAS
cAied m 70 help IN attendant phywioian.
ne sAw Sister Kate, fell desOerately
70 love with hen. and ct the expiration Of
her years vow wo0ed and vor her.
ecssfch Him"
= juror appeared before Judge Who
ceieoEased TOR dispatching business. and
uane no unneCeesaxy words 10 giving
his ordets, and asked to be excueed.
The court Swear him. M. Clark. /"
The court =" What = vonr ermseYn
The juror-"I have cot the itch--I
an itching nov" ''>'-'
TIA Y: count "Ar. Clerk, scratch
u11s s4 SSaf
Whersupon ne clerk scratched Iii
hane fyp1 ~ Ut, -
Wn@ - jlsor rstusned % his store
- - ~ povag 0oko trner = ~ M
than vhsn Re nd Sc ~ ikch;nc a. 4 q. 80 .
80 a " lvas itching, But Il Wa 5
- - p Nv hasine1s,