davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
A Mammoth Cave.

correspondent Of the Pittsburg Dispatch
describes what Is styled the Saltz Cave, sltu-
ated in Kentucky, three miles from the Nam.
moth Cave, which throws that natural wonder
into the shade. The entrance is in the midst
of a cornneld, partly hid by the spray of an
ice.cold stream OF water that descends into
the sinkhole. This stream disappears a short
distance from the mouth, and tho floor be-
comes perfectly dry. After a descent Of sixty
or seventy feet and passing along a narrow
passage three hundred feet, the lamps reveal
a cavern of most remarkable size, the roof
being only seen by the light OF blue. fire. At
q point where the cave branches in two
directions there is u deep hole, into which
pours constant stream of water from the
root. The guide points out spot four-and-a-
half miles from the entrance, where he found
some time since the body of an Indian woman
perfectly nude and dried up like mummy.
He says the body is now in the museum of
Princeton College. All through the cave are
found fragments OF cane torches, evidently
left by Indians in their explorations. The
cave is described as far mere extensive than
the Mammoth Cave, but more interesting to
tho antiquarian, as many valuable Indian
curiosities aie found in 1t. The guide Is a
shiftless fellow, who makes a living by cary
ing and engraving shells and alabaster. He
escaped from jail a year ago and took refuge
in the cave, where he was secure from the pur
suit of the officers. He occupies hut neal
the entrance.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

sent ono Of its reportorial staff over there
to make special report. He did the work
well. The EreaiEg Yesterday, Judging from
It's mcagrc report, was not aware that any
Of our local companies had gone over to
take Part in the display.
Again, after scooping its uncsteemcd con-
temporary on the list of meritorious pupils
in the public schools, THE CRITIC got away
with its rival the next day by publishing
the list of the pupils who arc to be adj
vanced to the High School for the ensuing
year, the Ercaing Yesterday remaining in
blissful ignorance of its existence.
Once more; THE CRITIC >publishel the
result of the bids to furnish the Senate sup
plies for the coming year the day the con-
tracts were awarded, the Erening Yesterday
being in its usual state Of stupid ignorance
about what was going on.
Yesterday THE CRITIC published all of
the nominations, the Ereaing Yesterday hav-
ing only part of them.
Then, too the report The CRITIC
made of the reception Of the Boston
and Philadelphia Posts of the G. A. Il.
by the local Post was elaborate, faithful
and satisfactory, and creditable alike to the
occasion and to journalism at the National
Capital. That Of the Erenirg Yesterday was
disgrace to journalism everywhere and
an insult both to the local Post aud their
visitors. There ISM a 9x10 amateur paper
in the United States, edited By boy years
old, but would have done better. But
then, as a regular thing, the Eecaing Ycstcr-
dag is below the average of even amateur
papers IN news enterprise and editorial
ability.
We could go on enumerating enough
instances of similar character to fill a
column. But we will have little mercy
on the slow. going, never-can-fnd-out-th the
news,the.same-day sheet, the Eceniag
Yesterday alias the Erening Star
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
--------- . %--------
No Time TO Tell n Lie.
Marietta Journal.

marietta JOuInui.
Jesse G. had the reputation of being tho
'sbiggest liar" in Georgia, and was never
known to come out behind. one hot day Bill
II. sat on the shady side of his barn. After
dinner he saw Jesse riding in great haste
toward town. Bill hailed him and went to tho
gate. Jess asked what he wanted. "Step and
.ell us big lie" said Bill. ''No time for lying
denly an hour ago, and am going for the
coroner and cof1ln." And on he went. BIZ
ran to the house and told his wife. She
gathered up tho children. He hltched the
horse TO the wagon, loaded In his family and
posted off four miles through heat and dust TO
Uncle Soils. on arriving he found the family
and two sneighbors in the large Kitchen, Uncle
Soil buried-to the eyes in half a big water
melon. The surprise was mutual and xplan-
ations followed. "Well," said Bill, 81 asked
jess for n big lie, and not only got II, but was
fool enough to believe it. l wouldn't believe
him nrain Il know he WAS dYlng.n
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
New Grand Army Oaicers.

The session OF the National Encampment OF
the Grand Army OF the Republic yesterday
was opened with prayer by Chaplain-in-Ohlef
j. +. Lowering, OF Worcester. Mass. The rolf
OF members wss called by AdJutant-General
olin, of Boston, and all the chief officers and
representatives from the various departments
responded TO the call. The attendance was
very full. Commander-in-Chief Merrill read
his annual address, which declares the order
10 DO at present In the most auspicious hour OF
its history with membership OF 100000.
The following ofilcers were elected for the en-
suing year; Commander. in-chief, Paul Van
dervoort, OF Nebraska; senior yice-commander-
in.chief, william Il. W. Ross, OF Maryland; I;
junior ce-commander in-chief, J. S. Bangs,
OF Maine. The other Ofhcer5 Will be elected
today, and the place for the next annual
meeting designated.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
A Duel Impending in South Caro-
lima.

The noted colonelE. b. G. Cash, who has
slain his man In duel, made an attempt to
involve himself In another at Cheraw, S. O.,
on Saturday last. Meeting Captain Theodore
+. Malioy In store, he asked him II he had
said that Colonel Blair, OF Kershaw, was no
better than whittemore. Malloy replied that
he had said soi whereupon Colonel Cash
called him ga damned liar" Malloy at
once struck Cash, and Cash falling over plow
that was standing In the store, Malloy sprang
on top of him. Several blows were struck by
each Of the parties, but friends interferred
and they were separated, on Sunday, as the
story goes, Mr.. W. II. Cash, Colonel Cash's son,
went 10 Cheraw, carrying with him a chal-
lenge 20 fight duel from his father to Cap
tain Malloy. Captain Malloy declined TO re-
ceiye the challenge on the ground that the
day was Sunday, and not the proper time for
making arrangements for hostile meeting.
on Monday Colonel Cash, accompanied by his
son, went 10 Cheraw, when Colonel Cash was
arrested on decendlng from the train and
held to bail in $4O0. Efforts were made tc
capture young Cash, but he, being on horse
back, escaped. The Rev. f. II. Buist made an
attempt TO settle the dinlculty but without
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
Baked Bean Philosophy.

Boston Post.
man who attended bull fight at Madrid
fell over tho barrier into the arena and got
hurt by bull before he was flshed out. Then
the managers wanted to stop the show, but the
crowd kicked and made them go on. And for
this the Detroit Free Press denounce5 tho
crowd as heartess and cruel. Don't see 1t. In
every crowd that assemblies TO see bull fight
or a baseball game or any such SPORT there Is
generally some fool who puts himself In a
way to get himself hurt. and does get hurt. 1t
doesn't ease his pains any after he is lugged
away TO have the show stopped, and we don't
see why the people who are not to blame for
the fools folly should lose half the fun they
have paid for on his account.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
Keifer's Familiar.
CIeveland Leader

Speaker Keifer gets out of many tight
place by relying upon the advice of a young
man who has been reading law In his office.
This young man was formerly page In the
House, and picked up more parliamentary
knowledge in his several years of service than
Keifer and his fotund friend, Robson, have
acquired between them. When Keifer was
elected to the chair he telegraphed TO Ohio for
the former page TO come on, and his services
have been called into requisitiOn very fre-
auently. "Jerry'' White is the familiar name
by which he is called about the Capitol.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

IT is rumored that harmonious slate
has been arranged in New York, and the
Republicans are confident Robertson is to
stay in, Conkling is to come back to the
Senate in place of Lapham, who is to resign
in order to be elected Lieutenant Coy
ernor, to succeed Cornell, who, after being
elected Governor, is to we forget the
balance. But it is fine programme all the
same.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
Tn Summon Ahscntees.

persons leaving the city during tho sum
mer months can have THE EVENING CRITIC
mailed TO their address, In any locality, for
80 cents per month, or three months for
81, payable In advance. TIE CRITIC VIII
be found the best medium for keeping absen-
tees thoroughly posted on what transpires at
the Capital. orders can be sent by mail, or
left at the business of1ice. Address changed
as often and whenever desired.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

THERE is something really touching in
one Reformer's certificate of good character
to another Reformer. 1t seems to be the
intellectual cognate of the favorite physical
dissipation of the Roman Emperor Com
modus.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

ONE week remains of the current fiscal
year, and but four Of the regular appropria-
tion bills have become law. The indica-
tions are that after Saturday week the
Government will be run awhile by joint
resolution
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

WE ARE informed that Mr.. Nordhoff has
been writing to the Reform Editors, re-
questing certificates of good character.
Thus far we have observed responses from
Harpers Weekly and the Free wiz Baptist.
Mr.. Nordhof himself has also responded in
the New York Herald. But we note a
strange reticence ON the part of Mr.. Nelson
collecting affidavits.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

TITusyILLE, Pa, March ~, 1881.
II. II. WARNER X Co. SbS-I am fully 0atls-
He'd that your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure
saved NV life, and that would have been
dead months ago had not used II. i look
upon II as great blessing 10 mankind and a
remedy that ali ought 70 know,
a. A COUpANT.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

WE notice in this weeks Harper touch
ing certificate of good character to Mr..
Charles Nordkoff by Mr.. George William
Curtis. This pleases US. We love to see
Reformers furnishing certificates of good
character to each other. AS a rule each Re-
former spends all his time furnishing Ger
tificates of good character to himself.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

THE prevalent opinion at both ends of
the Capitol is that Congress cannot adjourn
before July II, and perhaps not until the
25th The weather thus far has been favor
able to the longevity of the session, but a
few days of SO in the shade would expedite
fbipuc
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

HUTcH does not now conduct the organ
of this Administration, but he is said to
ave 'opes in quiet way as to the future.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

THOUGH Congress has been in session
nearly seven months the eternal doctrines
of true Jeffersonian Democracy have not yet
been elaborated in a single speech-not
even with leave to print. Is Jefferson
payed out?
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

WE shall await the opinion of Attorney
General Brewster on the assessment ques-
tion with great interest. Brewster was a
Reformer in 1877 and agreed with George
William Curtis as to the hideousncss of
Boss rule. Possibly Brewster is one of
those old Romans whose opinions not even
fat Office can modify; but we don't be-
lieve it. On the contrary, we presume heis
like the average of his kind-always the
charlatan when out of office, turning to the
mountebank OF the harlequin when acci-
dent happens to let them in. Still there
may be an organic difference between silk
stockings and frilled shirt.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

Tom BROWNE does not talk much, but
when he does take the floor he always says
something that commands the attention of
the House and the country.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

GENERAL Tom YOUNG having intro
duced a bill to reduce the tax on whisky
from ninety to fifty cents gallon, the
Louisville. Courier-Jou,nal, organ of the
late Whisky Ring, sneers at the proposition.
This tends to corroborate the view we have
held from the beginning, that what the
Whisky Ring wants is not an equitable re-
duction of the tax in favor of the public
generally, but an iniquitous special subsidy
of seventy million dollars for the benefit of
few individuals. 1t is an open secret that
the "inside lobby" of the Whisky Ring
will oppose reduction Of the tax as vigor-
ously as they begged and labored to pass
the subsidy. AS the Hon. William Brown
observed, they are a bad lot"
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

THE Washington Post has just discovered
that there was Whisky Ring.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
Edmonston a. Co.
:. Am OuwIlt 10 Know. %

Nos. 1889 and 1871 + street northwest, are
selling nrstclass low three-button shoe, at
So and so 6O
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

SEVEN days yet of Dent.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

TwENTY-sEvEN candidates for Commits
sioner
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
.LANSBURGH & BRO.
404 and 406 Seventh St.
SAFE DEPOSIT COMPANY.

lN-~-ge7e,-ye
CECURTTY FROM LOSS BY BURGLARY,
, ROBBERY, FIRE OR ACCIDENT.
THE NATIONAL L SAFE DEPOSIT COMPANY,
of Washington.
In Its own Building,
CORNER 18TH STREET AND NEW YORK AVE-
Perpetual Charter Act of Congress January 3D.
1867.
The Company rents Safes, inside its Fire and
Burglar Proof Vaults, at prices varying from s.
TO 800 per year; according to size and location.
Rooms and Desks adjoining Vaults, provided for
Safe Renters.
yAULT-DOoRs GUARDED BY THE sAR-
GENT TIMELOCK.
SECURITIES AND VALUABLES of every
Descriptions Including BONDS and STOCKS,
PLATE JEWELRY, DEEDS, etc. taken for
sAFE-KEEPING, on SPECIAL GUARANTEE
at the Lowest Rates.
BENJAMIN p. SNYDER, President
CHAS. O. GLOVER, of Riggs & Co., Vice Presi
JOHN CASSELS. Treasurer.
ALBERT l.. STURTEVANT, Secretary.
q. 4. Nyman. Asst. Secy.
DIRECTORS:
BENJAMIN p. Snyder, Charles @. Glover,
John Cassels. Henry A. Willard,
Albert L. stnrtevant, Thomas Evans,
myl5 2m! John q. Parke.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

ONE week more of Guitoau.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
FIRE-PROOF STONE.

STONE cAsKErs FOR BURIAL PURPOSES
at prices 30 to 100 per cent less than the
tcles can be obtained In approved natural Store
OF Marble.
Also constantly on hand full Hue OF the best
brands of Portland Cements, Lime, Plaster and
Fire-Proofing Material
Headquarters for the celebrated Wood, Carpet
and Parqpetry Floors. Tiling, ETC.. etc.
All desiring any OF the above named articles
can save very large percentage.
Call, by all means, and we will exhibit 10 you
articles that are perfect useful, new and cheap.
my15
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

We INFER from an able editorial in the
Republican this morning that the Admins
tration is afraid of George William Curtis.
George William is apparently getting des-.
perate. He has been making himself in
convenient to every Republican Admins
tration, in hope that the President would
give him a foreign mission in order to get
rid of him. This time he turns up in a
more inconvenient form than before. We
have no doubt that, if he perseveres, George
William will compel Mr.. Arthur to send
him abroad. We trust that this intima-
tion viii not be lost upon the able editor
Of our esteemed contemporary, the national
organ. suggestion from him would
doubtless do the business. 1t would be a
vast relief to the Hon. Hubbell.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
FOR EXCHANGE.

VIVA NTED-To exchange nsw stoves lor eie eie
w onsa al Buffers stove Exchange, cor. Din
and X Smokey chinneys cured or no pay: sleEss slesEssss
exchanged for groceries, oiu STOVES oo"k"" 'e~'
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
u "A Sc E.
STONE AND MARBLE WORKS,
GIL AND era E STREET NORTHWEST,

are now prepared TO receive and execute all or
ders for Water Tables, Corbels, Window Sills,
Keystones Water Coolers, Mantelpieces, Betting
Courses, Chlmney Tops, Horse Blocks, Lawn
ing, Ashlers, Cisterns, Wells Posts for Corner
Lots, Monuments, Tombstones, Vaults. Oraye
Caskets, Sewers, Drain Pipe, Curhing Of all d.
mersions, Solid Stone of all kinds for building
purposes, of any shape or dimension.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

The CRITIC has received many cOngratu-
iations for its magnificent report of the
college and school commencements yester-
day Every point was covered and the
report was perfect and complete in all
respects. The contrast between its spark
ling pages and the duh and stupid columns
of the Ereniag Yesterday was painful to the
patrons Of the latter sheet. Apparently, it
did not know that there were any com
mencements going on.
Then, too, THE CRITIc's report of the
Grand Army Reunion at Baltimore the day
before yesterday was another piece of news
enterprise for which We have received
many warm praises. Appreciating the true
local character Of the reunion, owing to the
large number of Washington military
organizations in attendance, Tas Garlic
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
BUSINESS CHANCES.

A CHANCE FOR spEcULATloN,Efno.,11 NY MY
N cash there Is a chance for stock sbecuuaia-
ton in what may bring 100000 Address faelnSe,
Grille Office. ..s -
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
Green Serge suits.

stylish spying suits 60 order, eIs.
Benbursers 9, alb Pennsylvania avenue.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
roR ssfs syo RrWr

DEAL ESTATE BULLETIN
IN
Tuos. e. wAGoAMAN. oIz street.
(Changes made Wednesdays and Saturdays).
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

Do not consider this idle talk. Every lady In
Washington knows the magnitude of our stock,
which we can safely state is three times large
the stock of any other merchant in this city.
Therefore, prepare for Bargains, as by the time
reduce the stock to the smallest in the city. The
Goods are all fresh, having sent all our old trash
to New York auction, to be sold to the highest
bidder. Call early in the morning to avoid the
immense rush.
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
PERSONAL.

CHARLES s. sHREvE,. REAL ESTATE
Deeds, Wills and other legal papers carefully
acknowledged and drawn. Houses rented and
rents collected. Money to loan and property for
sale. juSlm
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23

" yeloping the size and strength of parts of
the form, male or female. Sent sealed. Address
Erie, NJ. Co.. box 5l3, Buffalo, N. Y. my20
nISEAsES OF THE GENITO. URINARY
men, Catarrh bronchitis, Dyspepsia. etc, speed
lily and permanently cured; write for advice; book
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
SAMUEL S. SHEDD,

Garden Hose, Lawn sprinklers, Gas Stoves,
ovens Brolers etc, Slate Mantels, Gas Fixtures,
Latrobcs, Ranges, Furnaces, Plumbing and Tin.
ftf4
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
FOR SdfE-Fdrr,s.

LNOR SALE = VALUABLE FARM OF 100
Il acres, 1Is miles from Rockville. Md; every
Improvement that could be desired. Apply TO j.
w. Warner, Attorney, IS2 La. ave. jul9 Cts
The Evening critic., 1882-06-23
FREE ADVERTISING.

Advertisements under the heed of"situations
Wanted" and "Help Wanted" piu hereafter
be inserted in The EVENING CRITIC three
times FREE. We invite our friends wislino
situations or help 20 arait themselves Of This
offer. 4nstrcrs directed in care Of CRITIC
Office ,ciU yeceire careful attention. Business
advertisements three lines three times for 25 cts.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1882-11-14
said Id do it, and 1 always keep my
word. Climb down hprer

ssid Id do it, and 1 always keep my
word. Climb down herer
The stranger "clumb' without q
protest, shedding his coat az he
struck the ground, and a fight he.
gan. In about two minutes be had
used up the farmer and was cody
replacing his coat.
"See here" said the man from
Nankin as he wiped his nose with
bnr,lock, lyon aght better than yon
did eight years ago.
"Well, l dunno. This is my frst
affair with you.'
"Didn't | wollop you in front of
the Detroit postoffice eight years
agor
"And you never saw me beforei7
"Never!"
"And never was in Nankinr
"Npver!"
"Well III be hanged. Come to
look at You ] can ace that Won are
not the man! Why on earth didn't
you explain or ask me tot You
must have thought Inc mistaken"
"Oh. yes, | knew you vert mista
ken, but had just discovered that
| had driven seven miles on the
wrong road and was wishing some
one wenld come along and give me
sass. ! didn't want any explaha.
tons about it. A rotten sweet APP
pie will cure that black eye in three
or four days, and salt and water
will tighten yOsr front teeth in a
week OF so. | feel fifty per cent
better, and I'm ever 40 much obliged.
So long to you FER.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1882-11-14
The Democrats Illustrated Almanac
For l--2. and
Hand Book Of General Information,

An elegant work of 10 pages, st16i
inches in size. priutctr on finely tinted
book paper, illustrated thoroughly with
most beautiful cuyravinr>; and containing,
besides all the information pertaining TO
the calendar, statistical and general inform.
alton on various subjects. and especially up.
on the political and eiviltlivisious, popuss-
tiou names of officials. State and suuiei,
pal; record, of past elections. productions,
railroads, geological formations, etc, Of
the States Of Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas,
Tennessee. Mississippi, Alabama and Flor.
ida. will he mailed free. postage prepaid,
To- every subscriber of the Daily or Week.
IL TIMES-prMucENT.
Send rrmitianccs in registered letter,
postal order nr draft at OnI risk.
Address all communications aud Letters
I. TIE TIMES DEMOCRAT,
Nrw On cans, La.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1882-11-14
What Made Him Feel Fifty per cent
Better.

Some eight or ten years ago sil.
vcry.tongued chap who claimed to
he IA frnittree agent, swindled the
farmers in this county in u shameful
manner. and one resident of Naukiu
WAS so mad about it that he came TO
Detroit, searched the rascal ont, and
gave him pounding on the street.
After he got through his work hp
told the fellow that he should lick
him twice rs bad if he ever put
eyes on him again, aud it was q
threat to be remembered an d
nurSPd. About three week ago the
Nankin man was travelling in Wash.
tcnaw county, and as he jonrneyed
along the highway he met o travel
er who so resembled the fruit.trec
swindler that he called ont:
"II1e you are again, you bold
faced rascal =
"Ycs, I'm here" was the calm re-.
ply.
"Wefl, som /, and I'm going to
lick you until you can't boiler! l
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1882-11-14
teachers should engage in other
means of obtaining a livelihood.
A Man Ouqht TO be Arrested for
ProcFsstinating.
Texas Strings. ]

Texas siftings.l
There is an old negro in Austin
who claims TO have studied "'hOsify
outen n book Yesterday lie went
into the Justice court and said
"Jcdge, kin l git a dictu'ont witt
ayin dat wnffies Niger. Pctei"
"Wha,'s he been doingi"
"He's n procrastinatOr. He's bin
. procrastinatin'.'
"Procrastinatingf There's no
law against that
mo law agin REORGANIZATION
Den what's de law FURY Amt PR .
crasfination de thief ob timer
"Certsinly, l believe it has been
30 stated
"W-ll, den, amt Pete thief
Eyes you might so cOnstrne il,
but you cannot convict man for
stealth iime.'
"NO, but when We hab got de
proof on him fur stealth time we
hab got de cirrumstantial evidence
agin him fur stealth money. fur
don't 'hossify say dat time AIN mon
cyl Got yer dar, Jrdge.'
Aud the old man went ont chuck
ling to himself: SCOT him dlr.
Got de Jedge dis time sua! yer a
foot high