davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-22
The New Steam Beds.

A description of the new apartment
house being built in New York, says
that the bed-steads are stationary, and
that the stats of the beds are steam
pipes, intead of wood, so that there is
a constant warmth kept upall the time.
This may be all right in New York.
but out West here the people want bed
Stats, regular old fashioned bed Stats,
a lettle toe short, so that they will fall
down occasionally and let the mattress
fall on the floor. i house where the
midnight clatter of the falling bed slat
is never heard, and where the white
robed head of the family is not seen
raising up the mattress with one hand,
and feeling. under the bed for a bed
slat with the other, is mournful sight
There is something singular about the
fall of the bed slat. Statistics show
that the bed Stat always falls when the
man of the house is sound asleep, and
the woman of the house is sound awake,
The first indication the man has that
there is a fall in lumber, is the scream
of murder that comes from the sleep
ing partner Of the firm; and when the
man wakes and finds that his head and
feet are high enough, and that his body
is closed mp like foot rule and gently
resting ON the floor, he knows instinc-
lively that there are no burglars in the
bouse, but he cannot convince the
screamer that such is the case, even
after the slst is put IN its place, until
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-22
The Crocodile SyllOgism

Amongst other famous ancient dia-
lectic problems is the following diem
ma, which is framed with wonderful
ingenuity, the scuteness displayed in
its construction being probably unsur-
passed. 1t is called syllogismus croco-
dilus, and may be thus stated An in.
FAINT, while playing on the bank of a
river, was seized by a crocodile. The
mother hearing its cries, rushed to its
assistance, and by her fearful entreaties,
obtained a promise from the crocodile,
(who was obviously of the highest in
telligence,) that he would give it her
back if she would tell him truly what
would happen to it. On this the moth
err (perhaps rashly) asserted:
"You aUiU not giue 1t back"
The crocodile answers to this! "If
you have spoken truly, I cannot give
back the child without destroying the
truth of your assertion if you have
spoken falsely, I cannot give back the
child, because you have not fulfilled
the agreement; therefore, l cannot give
it back whether you have spoken truly
or falsely"
The mother retorted: "If have
spoken truly, you must give back the
child, by virtue of your agreement; it
have spoken falsely, that can only be
when you have given back the child; SO
that, whether 1 have spoken truly or
falsely, the child must be given back. +"
History is silent as to the use of this
remarkable dispute.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

WHAT fruit reminds you of a saddle
horse? The canter lope III the desert.
The YoIkers Statesman discusses
women as Wives" The idea seems
feasible.
NENER despise a man who wears
paper shirt front. He may have no
mother to support him.
PIANIsTs are not always bejeweled
set. but did you ever see one who did
not like to display his lingering.
PERHAPS the reason that the foolish
virgins had no oil in their vessels was
because they used it all on their hair
Yonkers Statesman.
Is Eli Perkins descendant of Ly-
curgus or Lysander ?-OU City Der
rick. No, Eli is a descendant of Ly-
likethunder.- Quincy ArgO.
AN exchange says the difference be.
tween hungry man and a glutton is,
"One longs to eat and the other eats
too long" Huntington HaWkeye.
If life were but game of cards,
what an advantage the lumber man
would have He would always have
the deal, you see. - Ne,Oto11 Repaid
lica71.
DIFFERENCE of opinion. After read
ing the fereign news. our Jeem's wife
laid down the paper and remarked: II
think, husband, that Ireland must be
very hand country to live in, don't
you?" "On the contrary" said Jeems,
81 think it must be a very soft one."
"How SOP" Because, you know it is
very thickly padded" Cambridge
Tribune.
BEAUTY of Keeping the Mouth
Shut.-It is all very we'll to adj
mire a pretty girl in a sealskin sacque,
but when one of these charmingly at
tired and attractive-appearing demoi-
selles is heard to blurt out, as was
heard In Tiffany's the other day, "Oh,
ma, amt them terra frma ornaments
Just lovelyl" our faith is shattered.-
ALL the same: A good old lady
speaking in prayer-meeting and giving
expression to the Joy and confidence
she felt, said: Il feel as if was
ready, this minute, TO fall into the arms
of Beelzebub." abraham You mean
Abraham = hastily corrected a brother
sitting nearA ~Well, Abraham, then" =
was the response, at don't make any
difference. They're both good men,
-OH. papa, that plaque is just too
too, said lovely young girl as she
stood looking in a shop window in
Main Street. ~Only 81 or said the
old gentleman in surprise. i should
think that was cheap You'd better
buy it, 1t was a natural enough mis-
take, but the old gentleman bOaght the
plaque al the same, though ID did cost
him s15.-BdnQoT Commercial
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-22
"BOy Wanted"

Have you not often seen an adver-
tisement "Boy Wanted?" In New
York boy who was wanting something
to do. saw such a sign. The merchant
saw cigar in his hand as he came into
the Office, and when the boy asked for
the place, this is what the merchant
said:
Il want a smart, honest, faithful per
son; but see you smoke cigars, and In
nv experience of many years have
found that boys who smoke are less re-
liable than those who do not. You can
leave; you will not suit me-
Is it manly, boys, to do anything that
will keep you from getting into bust
ness?
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-22

Az afternoon tea on Beacon Street;
Snodkins-%Have you read The Pale,
Pale Moon Miss Amy7" Miss Amy
Southslope-@Yes, / began it; but il
wasn't lovely enough. / like real blind
love, don't you knovi' - Harvard
LdplDoon.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-22

Az honest man is the noblest pursuit
of voman.-Sdn Francisco Wasp.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16

Thousands Of Jews are finding re.
fuge in America, from their persecu.
tors in some portions of Europe.
Here they are comparatively free, but
it is shameful that in this enlightened
age and in this enlightened country,
the prejudice against the "Jew,o has
not wholly died away. It is going
but it has not yet gone. The simplest
child can remember how hotels have
publicly closed their doors against
"the jew" and every one of us can
recall instances ofopenly expressed
hatred and detestation ofssall Jews
BY intelligent men and women. Close.
ly questioned they would say: "Ah!
yes, we know some good Jews, but
that proves nothing" This rank in
Justice must be rooted out. Treat
''the Jew" as you would any other
man, and you will likely find him
much the same.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
One OF THE Boys.

(
FLAT RIVER, N. G., March IL, 1882.
Dear Recorder: Ipromised to write
You something, now and then, from this
part of Durham county, but news Is
scarce, and / have nothing much to
communicate.
Our farmers are preparing to plant
a large crop Of tobacco, and If Aiesdo
not attack the plants, and seasons are
good, ! think there will be the lar
.gest crop planted there has been any
previous year. |
MI. A. Mangum, is rebuilding his
store, and when completed, will BIZ
occupied by Mr.. Jerome Bowling
Mr.. Mack Parrish is running a store
in the old house once occupied by
Webb 4 Co., and is doing good
business.
! understand our quiet vicinity is
to be invaded by number of Dur
ham nimrods this week. Tell them
to come on, we will guide them over
our choice hunting grounds and do
all wecan tomake them al home. do
not like to aatter you young editors,
but you are giving us a good paper
and its weekly visits, is looked for.
ward to with much pleasure. "May
you live long and prosper" and take
the advice of an old friend to the RE-
coRDER, and keep cool, abe sure
Iyon are right and 20 ahead"
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
.sE.et G,ultenu IEnnn..,,

Mr.. Scoyille, council for Guiteau,
has been interviewed in regard to tile
execution Of the doomed assassin.
Mr.. Scoville said to the reporter:
my opinion is that the best thing
for the country and for public opinion
is to let Guiteau hang on the day ap.
pointed in June next
isn't that remarkable statement
from you y
ut is my opinion, however remark
able it may be. Most people believe
Guiteau insane, and if he is hanged
the hanging will produce such reac.
tion of public-opinion that the laws
treating insane cases will be very
much modified, and in this result Gui-
team will have done more for his coun-
try than he could by living
Are you in favor of Guiteau being
hanged I"
II am in favor of Guiteau being
sentenced to prison for life, and, should
he become raving maniac while
there, it would be an easy matter to
send him to an asylum under the
same restrictions regulating other
criminals. have asked President
Arthur to do this by letter.
The interview was quite extended,
81. 5f No.. =
[teauH r seoville had the following to
When asked by the reporter, ii,
you believe Guiteau insanes'
.W,hat difference does it make
whether he is sane or insane I? The
murder Of President Garfield was 8
political murder, wrought by a polit.
icai fanatic. Why, the best medical
experts in the country are fast coming
over to the belief that Guiteau is in.
sane"
'.But do you believe him insane n
II have said so time and again,
and l will say so in my lecture, and
again in my book, which will be entitled
Secret History Of the Guiteau Trial, 2
with synopsis of the testimony, con-
densation of the case and leading
medical and legal opinions"
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16

best proverbs, outside Of Solomon's,
~ to "let well enough alone. We
have good schools. Let us make them
better. Too many children in one
school won't do, !! don't care who Is
President. We have too many evil
boys in our towns to crowd them.
Better divide them up and have
strict Deliver inc Solomon's doctrine
at the head Of each department. /,
have visited three graded schools in
this State and two outside Of the State,
within the last year. They were like
the old ladies' children with measles
In fly time. "Doing as we'll as posi-.
bly, could be expected" Two or three
classes in each one was doing better
than ] expected. They were always
trotted out for strangers tosSe and
hear. They seemed to enjoy It, too.
And as for pedagogue q should have
said Professors) who was unexpected
ly q? called upon to show the superb
GRITTY Of a mammoth Graded School,
to Bingham's, private school, or any
other private school of ancient or
misrepresentation actually reminded
the Lydian Court with a slaves collar
about his neck. Perhaps he saw some
little -bigY fnaB about the throne Of
Chrorcus and wanted to describe
him. So Aesop tells us Of gnat
which lit on the wheel of a Chariot.
When the wheel revolved few times,
the gnat grew dizz'd and said, Look
how make the world roar, see how
furiously ! drive the world! Don't
| cover the heavens with dust, or
words to that effect! Now, as looked
upon some of the aforementioned
Professors, and listened to the best
drilled in the graded schools, I said
within my heart, sLook how furiously
these graded professors drive the
world But to my astonis.lment. |
found that the novelty Of the graded
school ways was dying out. The
funds which Mr.. Peabody, and other
bodies had been pouring out so Law.
ishly, did not come in quite as rapid
ly as at first anticipated, and the Pro-
fessors at some Of the places we're not
altogether unwilling to listen to over
lures for good position elsewhere.
Well, well, it is the way with the
world. New tangled humbugs are al
ways exceedingly" popular for
time. The graded schools are not
exactly that, but so many things
about them border so closely on 1t. |
that our best people, WHO are able,
send their children to private schools. |
Oh me, how foolish q they are to do
so, when they might have a FIRST
CLASS Graded School, right here in
our midst-one that would darken
the heavens with smoke and dust.
"A VOTER"
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
G8MWUEIGHFI0NS.
w nj NJ
Durham. N. G., March IA, Iy8

Durham. N. G., March IL, 1882.
MEssEs. EDITORS :z+If you will al.
low me a short sppee in the valuable
columns Of your worthy paper, THE
DURHAM RycoRDER, / would like To
ask a siyple question Of contributor
to a paper published in you thriving
city. And It is this: sWhy priates
save to shoulder the blame Of co..
tributors to papers, when reallylt
would take "a Philadelphia lawycr,p
translate even the introduction Of sore
communications that they have to ID
up for said paper? Itseems to bet
general presumption Of contributed,
that printers can read and translae
anything that's offered as contrib
ton 70 papers, even if they are wit.
ten in an indiscernible manner. II
know that printers are liable to MAXI
like others that / have
! neai3 Of if they do make mistakes
y some letters % that they have 70
,.s -, that sfe's would make i
Il rvr-v-rrgrp1U enough for some one
to make out. But nay poor printer7'
sneh is mot the case 0fcosrss prsnssil
are good scholars, but if they are, they
are not necessarily translatore, hence
they should not be blamed for that
which others can not make o,a.
More anon.
nNyu o. rrrI pr,vu ~
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
STATE NEWS.

Milton Chronicle /: And the courtly
Ransom voted to retire that poor man
Grant on big annual salary. Well,
sirs ! Will wonders never cease I
A correspondent writing from
Longs Mills, North Carolina, wants
Jesse Holmes to go for Governor
Jarvis for thinking about an extra
session of the Legislature. Let Jarvis
alone-he's no fool.
Fayetteville Eramiaer: The trial Of
Ial Faircloth, who was indicted for
the Murder of Joshua Mcdaniel. was
going on in the Superior Court Of this
county last week when we went to
press. The jury, aftera short absence,
brought in verdict Of mot guilty."
After a protracted and painful
illness, Mr.. Theodore III. OVERLY died
in this town on the evening Of March
9TH, 1882.
Wilson Adcaaoe Yesterday MORN
ing as the Northern bound train from
Wilmington was passing a crossing
four miles south Of Goldsboro, it ran
into two-horse wagon which was
completely demolished, both of the
horses attached to it being killed. A
mar, an woman. who were in the
n -.1--..ss s..k Une VI the gIiaul
bones Of his leg broken.
Milton Chronicle: The Radical
party, had they CONTROL of the State.
Y Y. an not hesitate twenty-four hours |
n calling an extra session to reannar'
ll y the State, even If il cost a million
y dollars. Why? Because n h;rJ
= inc hand is worth two in the bnsb
LOOK az them in yirginia +! And IooL
Z that bill they have chalked out far
the State. Was ever
'eforey seen
niunD1S11Ist Ssss.s.a1 IL. <,.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16


WHEN Hayes was President a
strange, lean, lanky. gray dog stood
vigil at the White Honee ornasds, al
81 i.~nrs cffhA 4. q 80 .ss,dp ptm.
ea 20 hover around President Car.
nelas fortune. This animal first
came into notice by following the
carriage down the avenue
AZ the time Of his Inauguration and
s TO be driven out Of the line
~ afterwards made its home IN tha
s %n,'o House grounds, sleeping at
hes a.. Under particular tree Will
ss near the northeast en- |
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16

Association, writes to Bradstreets,
under date February 25th, as follows
"From personal observations and IN
formation obtained from reliable
sources, I estimate the tobacco crop
Of Virginia and North Carolin, at
from two thirds to threefourths lin
pounds) as compared to that of last
wear. About one half Of the present
crop is more or less frosted say some
three. fourths Of the other half con.
sists of cherry red filters, while the
remainder Is made up Of common to
fine bright wrappers and bright
smokers. Up to the present writing
nearly one.half Of the crop has been
marketed, and is now held by manu-.
facturers and leaf dealers. The re.
mainder is still held by planters, who
show disposition to sell as rapidly
as they can get IL ready for market
The general average price up to the
present has been about 1lc per pound
higher than last year, and, should thu
, offerings improve in quality, th'
, average will be a shade higher still
J III hence conclude that the aggregate
amount IN money will be something
: oyer three.faprths in eo,nna,isan- =
!. tine last crop. +a@ s
4 ouestio;gitation Of the tobacco Ia,
Is the present dnlr'ene responsible 70
r featured tobacco markets the manu-
u remembered that the short MAS y
u marily the canse of the inactive ma
II ket as prices forced the dealers to Ia
G in large stocks and time must be a
J. lowed for their disposal before trad
l. will resume It's wonted briskness.
II At recent meeting Of the Toba,
i" co Association Of Lynchburg. Virgin
y Ia, II announced itself as favoring tn
y abolition Of the tax on tobacco, or |
T that measure proved abortive, its re
: duction to eight cents. Hon. J. n
? Tucker, the Congressman from tina
district, was urged to represent thei
$ interests in this connection.
: The Tobacco Board of Trad
throughout the country have petition
ed Congress to desist from a furthc
!, agitation Of the tax question as 50
! ! riously affecting the interests of I'll
!. industry.-Weaern (Cineinnoti) III
3. baccO Journal.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16

tildt StApiEs /
We have boon astonished at thy /
normous prices some Of our friend p
the upper part Of the county obtaist
for tobacco at your Durham mar
We do not see why the people in rs
neighborhood do not get out Of r
old routine Of planting cotton n
nothing else, and diversity their cros.
Having travelled over large porth
of Granville and Person county, q
sure that our section will PRODUCES
fine tobacco as can be grown in te
State. We hope some Of our farmes
will make the experiment this yea.
If some of your Durham and Persh
county farmers owned the land In tlls
section, il could not be bought for 81
per acre. Yet it is selling for 50 aid
$40, simply because our people do no
know how well adapted II is TO III
growth Of fine tobacco. Send some 3
your people down TO examine. .
Our excellent Deputy Sheriff, J. ]
Knight, has recently returned fror
a tour through Georgia, Louisiana
and Mississippi. He is delighted wit
the country and people, but there
no place like Chatham to him, and b
would rather be Sheriff of Chathal
county, than Governor Of Mississippi
He Is the choice of q large majorit
of the people in this section for Sheri
should "steye Brewer decline to rul
, Our neighbor, Thos. W. Womble,
, 49,. -,,o...--H,r ssifetfff. ~ ell 71l
would make q good one, II he coul
ever get elected, but some how d
people Of Chatham cannot stomach q
Independent candidate sufficiently
. elect him to any Office. He will agal
, be in the field, backed by the Chatha
argus, the orgah Of the "brindle tall
!. We expect q lively time during u
Y M. s'.,aPs'e- :: Record and A
J. thing bad about every e as..i M,
e Some Of our people speak Of rum.
=. w. Atwater, for the Lepislatu,
from this part Of the county. /
}. would sweep the whole Democrat
}. strength east of Haw Riv
3 But as yet politics have be-,
discussed but very little. rs, 90 ,
! line, is the fayorite s.saii, and Will
= pressed to run again for Register
/. Deeds. w. +. Foushee, will be ele
! ted IL he runs, by a larger majorii
than before-which was nearly 30
The conssactors who are building o,
new Court House, seems TO be bac
= ward about completing the buildin
They will not have Il ready by Coul
which meets next week. have Gig
: new subscribers for the REcoRDE
/. and expect to increase that TO fiftee
) by Tuesday in Court.
Yours
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16

"You know" said Rice, show the
negro like 'possum. Two darkies
were riding from the field after a hard !,
DAYS blowing. They began to talk
about the good things 20 eat. Take
a good faint possum-pahbile him
nut him in ole fashion Dutch owing
--roas' him brow the other darkey's
eyes rolling and mouth watering as
the description went on, 'sarve him up
wild coon graby-"shut yo' mouth
yo' niggah! Ill fall risht al "a IL
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
COUNTY LErTEk
GROVE. March tnt

Feeling a deep interest in the II
cess Of your paper, and knowing |,
popularity in this section Of Cbatb,b
Am ! am forced to give you a short Ietr
T Thicn ! am in hopes you will pubiA
Inns Is one of the best adapted. 4.
a a,ons Of the country, for the growtlSf
COZ and our farmers for the II
zen years have turned their attenSn
amos. exclusively to the growt Df
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
Expenses |:

. TIJITIoN-S4O to $50 for ten months.
BOARD. including furnished room and ser-
wants ss 10 SO per month.
Janitcr fee 90 per term.
Naturalization S., paid one time only.
We have three courses Of study: A. b, b.
p. and b. s., in addition. we have . Business
Course. Students can also take Q select course
q study, embracing whatever they desire.
We have gooo preparatory Department
and take boys of any age or advancement
For further information, send for Catalogue
mhS.tf B. CRAVEN.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16

: Ode infOrr US that y
MI Med letter fro Judge Ael-
" ehairnan Ofthe VI and Means ",
,onmittee, to whom v re,er IT,. ~ !
tobaccot whq''a'eS
hat The committee agre' +" g 3. =
he House recommendin q re'iV
,f'the tax on tobacco 2 y 'A ..,,
hare glad to know pms 800 "
"a speedy settlemei o. o. 49, 49,
The question has 81, De.li
'eiy taicious to the Va 'ntougn'
out theeo country reduction
70 elghtNts would much pore e
satisfactio. to our u scturffs, lor
9 tax Of 10, per POI y complete,
y change thsA size s&ages ana
oe 2 great inconved ana trouble
a "a regulating thes ws t''sns.o =
each package oklns Tobacco
But then anytA is better tnan .
prolonged agitl
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1882-03-16
SOUVENIR OFCARNuvAI.. rssa
THE FEAST OF THE KING.

THE FEAST OF THE KING.
The day selected for the Kings barbecue
rs ~ tne third Monday in February, eighty-two,
Inc day proceeding our Mardi Gras,
When we meet the King with great eclat.
IT'S well to give the King his due.
Proving his subjects loyal and true; .r
With soldiers and banners, in grand array,
We welcome his coming on that day.
The Mayor opens wide our city gates,
The Council in our halls debates -~...
The question as to how they best d.,
Can entertain our honored guest 444
Each Duke ofthe R1ym attends this meeting,
And questions close about what greeting
Is meet to offer the mighty King,
Who to our city such honors bring.
The Duke Of Durham speaks out bold,
And tells how, as in times of old,
When from crusades his riches bring,
A feast should be given to the King.
The meeting rose, and with cheer,
That told their sentiments very clear.
That they thought the Duke Of Durham right
And offered toasts in great delight.
Each Duke while standing, asked the Mayor
y, Who ne thought could best prepare
This II banquet, and the Mayor agreed
The Duke Of Durham should take the lead
This noble Duke lit cigarette,
Made by his serfs, and don't YOU forget
They are the best Of every brand
Smoked in this or any land.
And, while he pulled its fragrant smoke,
lie told his hearers little Joke,
VI how he was once forced to slay
A Durham Bull, to make II pay. -
! This Bull now will offer YOU. r
"a NJ thing for a barbecue;
Como, laTai subj, slsnsk ssrv ssroax.
Each ,s;iro.SS. from every State
'a.ifoaa IAN inducing rate.
s Gnu while you're here, de,not foros,
I, ans Ihe Duke Of Durham Cigare,a
long :,, ut and cross-cut-Tobaeeaol s u',s
= VIII your future happiness ins,,rpp pure