Morning journal and courier., 1882-07-17
INNOCENT AMUSEMENT.

Beef is so scarce and high that gentle man of this city is having sirloin steak set for breastpln. .-Bosto7a Courier.
 The initials ID. C." after Washington my son, mean "Da Capo," musical phrase, in dicating that when anything is in danger of being accomplished there it is to be done all over again.-Boston Transcript.
 Friend-"Hello, Jim, you ain't out of work again, are you" Unfaithful employe Well, yes fact is, I'm not able to work i; been injured by premature discharge. "- Cous5er-JoatrnGJ.
 When Middlerib went to Arizona and was scared nearly to death one night by the yell ing of band of Indians, he tried to laugh it off next morning in ghastly way by saying he was only whoop scurt. Then erybody wished the Indians had killed him.-Burhng- ton Haoekeye.
 An honest bourgeois is entertaining his wife at dinner at restaurant, and at the conclusion of the meal treats himself to a cigar. "One franc,'' almost screams the woman, looking at the box; "well, Alfred, I do hope you are enjoying yourself!" My dear, says the husband majestically, moth ing is too good to be ordered when one in- vites lady to dinner ''-French Pdper. ''So you are no longer on the street?" No; and you?"
 "I am off, too. Did you lose everything p "Evsrything except my sacred honor; and your"
 s'Just the same with me; lost my capi ! tai, but saved my sacred honor" "Then we are in the same boat. Let's l take walk and see if we can find restaur ant where sacred honor is taken in payment ] for lunch IKaU Street Neacs.
 In dancing saloon one night 8 sailor was ! asked by messmate to explain to him ln ! few words and as quick as possible the thirc figure of a quadrille. His description was as | follows: You first of all heave ahead, l said he, land pass your adversary's yard | arms; then in jiffy regain your berth or ! the other tack in the same kind of order skip along sharp and take your station witt ! your partner in line; back and fill, and the1 ! fall on your heel and bring up with youl craft. She then haaneuvers ahead off along | side of you; tn, n make sail in company witt ! her until nearly astern of the other line | make stern board; cast her of to shift fo
 herself regain your place out of the mele' ! in the best manner you can and let go you
 anchor. ."-Cham6ers' Journal.
 ''Now, boys," said the teacher, 'I neee not tell you anything further of the duty o
 cultivating kindly disposition; but I will
 tell you little story about two dogs Georg
 had @ nice little dog that gentle as
 lamb. He would sit by Georges side quietl. ! for an hour at time. He would not bark 9 ! the passsrs by nor at strange dogs and woul I never bite anybody anything. Thomas
 dog, on the contrary, was always fghtin l other dogs, and would sometimes tear then ! quite cruelty. He would also fly at the hen
 and cats in the neighborhood, and on severs
 occasions he had been known to seize co' ! by the nostrils and throw her. He parked a ' all the strange men who came along, an ! would bite them unless somebody interfered { Now, boys, which was the dog you would lk
 to own, Georges or Thomas ?" Instantl | came Ere answer in one eager shout, "Ihon as' ."-BoSton Transcript