Morning journal and courier., 1882-02-06
Who Got the Worst of Ifs

II
There's man stealing bag of -four OUT
side, said pretty young woman IN great ex-
4 citement to the stout, placid, Healthy looking
i grocer who was selling her package of
starch in bis store near the uptown end Of
| Second avenue.
'Yos dot so?" said the grocer, dropping
/ the starch and rolling around toward the
door. He would probably have walked OF
| run If his anatomical construction had been
different. As Il was he did not literally roll
but that word seems more appropriate than
| any other.
When he had reached the door he stepped.
j $50 helup mein kracious," be said. IS he
stopped in the doorway and looked around
"He went around the corner" said the
young woman
"Call policeman. suggested the reporter
who happened to be in the store. cit is IN
necessary to explain that the presence Of the
pretty young woman had nothing to do with
the presence Of the reporter, who was buy
| ing an apple.
Gin policeman if dot man ne vzs Elm Battery
at, shoost so kavicker as dot policeman he
wouldn't be here"
But your -four is gone" said the repor-
ter.
.'Yah-shl Dot vlour Dot man he vos
"A .hs a.2gles und clspboArds dot vlour of /"
man can laugh, va laughed Is only very large
with establishment, not - - q -.
as to whether he ought not nsleo VIE oooDt
man for his own protection
ST vos loss me drei, visr pags dot vlo3zzxt
already. IND drinks me dot schoundrsl he
vos took 'em all But he got genncht
He didn't come no more by nein shtOre fur
dot vlour-" And again his mighty corporosi-
ty was convulsed.
''What did You do to the hour!' asked the
reporter with visions of an impending TRACE
dy by mysterious poisoning floating IN his
ssYeu vos drinks dot vos Tlour 1So7
drinks me dot ahcoundrel he vos dinks dot
too. So helup mein hacious, how he Tos
had been fooled already. Dot vos ssvdust,"
1t is impossible BY any arrangement Of
{ pc TO do justice to the JUNCTION with which
the last word was pronounced, or by the
most graphic description to convey any no
ton of the merriment that possessed he
speaker.
A little inquiry served to inform the re-
porter that this particular grocer was not the
only grocer who had suffered recently from
sneak thieves, and that on somebody's sug-
gestion several grocers had put out ''deooys''
of sawdust similar to the one that had Just
been conveyed" from the front of the
plethorie grocer's store.
reporter VINO cannot get the whole Of
story is totally unfit for his high calling. and
is remained to discover what became of the
bag of sawdust. An intimate knowledge Of
all the haunts of vice IN the neighborhood
enabled him to spot" the locality most Ike
ly to harbor the thief, and the iudieious az
penditure of quarter procured the services
of astute small boy to ''pipe on de gang
Next day the small boy was jabilant. DE
grocer thought he was playin' it mighty low
down, didn't he 2" said he. well Shiney
Mick played for a sucker de worst you ever
see. De savdust man Eot comes wild q big
wagon to peddle savdust, he come around
yesterday, and Shiney Mick he give him de
Office not to go to Schnapps'. Dis mornin'
early Shiney Mick he borried wheelbary
an dumped de bag o. sawdust out an wheeled
it round by Sehnapps' door An Schnepps
he hadn't any sawdust to put on his floor,
and be give Shiney Mick ten cents for his
own sawdust ~