The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-05-17
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.


an impatient traveller at a railway restau-
rant.
"Try broomstick," said moody man,
with 8 scratched nose; "that is what every
thing is settled with at our house."
Some New York Communists have been
trying to blow up Vanderbilt They evil
IDENTIFY did not know Mr.. Vanderbilt is mar
rie6-
An Illinois young man has just killed
himself after falling in love with young
woman who wrote poetry. He knew when
it was best for him to die.
The Russians have proverb which says:
~Before going to war, pray once; before 60
ing to sea, pray twice; before getting
asparried, pray three times"
A young lady in Boston Office is so par
ticular shout her personal appearance that
she always takes a peep in the mirror before
answering q call at the telephone
!. think I'd live in that buildingI" ex-
claimed the lady who ran . boarding house.
''Not DIT of It'll Why, all the doors fasten
with bolts; there isnt key-hole in the
building"
"a Lady Subscriber" asks why Paris
papers are SO wicked. We do not know, but
an exchange informs us that there are 100
women journalists in Paris. Does that help
you out snyH-ROchester Express.
There are five Sundays in this month, and
when a schoolJboy wants to know why there
are not five Saturdays as well, you might as
well hire him to 20 away. Explanations
won't fetch him.-Detrolt Free Press.
A Brooklyn clergyman informs US, upon
Whist appears good authority, that nine
tenths Of the redeemed in heaven will be
women. After this announcement the man
who wouldn't set his face heavenward isn't
the man we take him for.-Boston Tran
script.
: She laid her cheek on the easy-chsir
against HIS head and murmured: "HOw
do love to rest my head against your head,
Augustus ado your" said he. SIS it be-
cause you love me?' mo; because it is so
nice and Soft Then he lay and lay, and
thought and thought.
women are not angels, but plain human
beings" said the Rev. DIR. Pullman, of New
York, in the course of his sermon Sunday.
Rev. DR.. Pullman may be a. wise man in
his generation, but he is not the sort Ct cler-
gyman that you would call discreet. 1t is
plain that he is married.
. At trial of a criminal case the prisoner
entered plea OF not guilty, when one OF
the juryznen at once stood up. The judge
informed him that he could not leave until
the case was tried. "Tried2" repeated the
juror in astonishment. "Why, he aeknowl-
edges that he is not guilty"
didn't you tell me, sir, you could hold
Ihe plow2" said farmer to a green Irish-
yman whom he had taken on trial. "Arrah
be aisy now" said Pat; show the deuce can
hould 1t and two horses drawing it away
from me2 but give it to me into the barn,
and, be faber, Ill houldit with anybody
"Nothing," said an impatient husband
$50 reEeiRds me of Balaam and his ass, as
two women stopping in church and OBJ
structiagshe way, TO indulge in their ever
Wasting Talk" but you forget, my dear. I"
returned his wife meekly, ''that it was the
angel who stopped in the way, and Balaarn
and his ass who complained of it."
THAT is probably the olde't piece of fur
niture in England" said "A collector of an
tique eoriOsities to friend, pointing to a
venersblarlooking table as he spoke. "How
hundred years. "Pshswl that is nothing
1 have AZ Arabic table oEer two thousand
years OLD "Indeedl" "Yes; the multi
plication table"
One ofour esteemed Professors declares
that his wife is not 81 all asthethic. She
does not even know the fitness of things.
For only the other day he brought home q
real funny Eotto for his dining-room, that
had worked on it, "kature abhors q
vacuum opposing she knew where 10
4 hang it; but she dida't, for he found it
Hanging owe, his own picture that very sf-
ternoon.
Some time ago a man csne into Balti-
more lawyef& Office in q state of great ex
element, and asked him to commence pro-
ceedings for e divorce. Mr- Dobbin heard
him through, and then said: II think Ihave
something thai will exactly suit your case;
. sit still, sRd I viii read K to you" The
man remaiReG-sea,ed.a all ear, supposing he
was to listen &c Blackstone Or Kent, when
Mr.. Dobbin began to read "E stsv and L ere
'Oat" By the time he ended, the man s
eyes were fail o. tears. 81 believe / wiAGo
bone" he said. And he and his wife hare
lived happily eEs- since.
When DR.. johnson had completed his
dictionary, MIlls-. the bookseller. and priH~
cipsl, proprietor 6. Inc work, could not help
expressing his Joy .Epon the occasion in terms
somewhat incorporate, as APPEARS by the
following ackno wlse cement of hereceipt OF
the last sheet of manuscript: |.Andrew
Millar sands his compliments to Mr. S muel
johnson, with the money for the last sheet
Cf the eaoy OF the dictionary, aD6 thanks
ID he has done with him. TO which
Johnson yeturned this good natured answer:
samuel gohnson retncns his compliments
no Mr.. Andrew Miliar. and is very e5ai to
fad, as he does by has note, that Andrew
Nillsr has Che grace to thank God so< any
thing"
A spiteful Player.
Tie meanat Church against lives in
Philadelphia. He is ali bent with age. end
the other dsy n. the wedding of an sntiSae
PhiisSelphia bale, whom he knew many
years tefore, BE- astonishe6 everybody bg
playing fantasia on the ala "When YO9
and 1 Were Youag."
Fsz<t Result of Coz dueation.
New York Tribune.j
1t is faet-which we state az 3 fact, and
not as an argument on either side-that the
Arst woman who enteeed the University of
Michigan married the young man who sat
neat her during Rotations.
A Mormon Girl With GENTLE Notions.
~ Al