Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-11-23
The Lime.ktln GLIB.
Detroit Free Press.


De ole man Saunders an his wife
war ober to see ME las nite,' said
Brother Gardner, as q hush fell upon
the multitude. reckon dey didn't
feel 'zactiy easy in DER n.inds, Some
body in de church had bin tellin' 'em
that it was an awful sin to dance.
When dey axed my advice on de sub
jeck | answered 'em same as have
answered all others. A religun which
won't let a man walk frew ouadrille
to de SCUM of musick am weak some
whar'. A religun which rolls off a
pusson's shoulders d mint ne begins
to laugh or sing or kick up his heels
won't take him to de sort ob Heaben |
want to 60 to.
can when de ole man axed me if
pla yin' keerds was gwine to consign
hif soul to perdlshun | had de same
answer dat | gave you las var. l
wouldn't advise any Of you to take a
pack of keerds in your coat tail pocket
an sot out TO win all de beer you could
drink, an wouldn't advise lady to
call de hostler in from de BAN to try
an beat him OUT OF his months wages ;
but when | am told dat religun forbids
me to sot down in my own house an
play gamo of eucher wild my old
woman or naybur, mus look upon
il as a sort of lowerdeck ideah.
"When de ole man axed me II
thought he could go to the theat:r an
squeeze into heaben too, had de same
answer shall allus have. A Christian
who can't sot frew play widout feeln'
Satan tuggin' at his coat.ta'ls mad bet
ter lock hisself up in bank-vault an
iorgit &c combinashun. l take de ole
woman an sail down to de theater
, bout twice month, an ] can't reckol-
lect dat our guilty consciences have
kept Us awake or made US ashamed TO
walk into church mex Sunday.
81 want religun, my friends, dat
kin stan mptashun. ! want one dat
kin meet Satan at de doah Of q circus
an knock him colder dan a wedge. 1
want one dat will let me play euchre
an yet keep me from cheatin'. want
one dat will go wild me to de theater
an irioy what am good an condemn
what am bad. ! want religun widout
any dyspepsia or liber complaint in It,
If il am de sort Of religun dat a
dance am gwine to peel off ] want to
know it in time to look fur kind dat
will stick by me frew thick an thin,
A pusson who am afeard dat de mint
he begins to smile his religun will be-
gin 10 crack like new varnish must be
in an uncomfortable state o mind.
Let me be tempted. If my religun
am strong huff to resist | shall have
de glory of victory. If it am not, let
me AK fur forgiveness an tighten up
de bolts an try again. Be good. Re
spect de ch arch. Reverence true
Christianity, an try an foller de teach
ms of de good book, but be keerful
how you clothe yerselves in armor dat
will be shivered by de SOUNDS Of a
fiddle an fall to de ground at de sight
of circus purcgshun. Let us now az
sault de reg'l order Of bizness."
ELECTION.
Sir Isaac Walpole said he desired to
remark, before passing the bean-box,
that there was two kinds Of religion in
his neighborhood. One sort was hor-
rified at the idea Of attending circus,
and yet would pick up a wallet IN the
street and whip the children for giving
the fact away The other would meet
regularly once in two weeks for auuse-
ments, and yet paid its pew rent in
cash, and had a bowel Of chicken
broth for every sick person in the,
neighborhood. The latter was his sort
and he sneuld ontinue to stick TO it
The following candidates were the