Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-09-30
The Quickest Oure on Record.

The professionals summering at Mount Clemens, Mich, are at times rather hard pushed for something to do to kill time, and the boys have their heads together the most of the day ar ranging some scheme to while away the long summer vacation.
 Last season Gus Williams and Char ley Young were the ringleaders in most of the devilment, and many are the fun ny stories told of their pranks, in which they were ably seconded by the rest of the gang.
 While over in the bath-house one morning Gus learned that number of old gentlemen from the South were to arrive on the afternoon train to exam inc the baths, and, if satisfied that the waters were as represented, they would take up quarters for the summer. Hay ing obtained the above information, Williams concluded to have some fun with the expected arrivals. and with his chum arranged a programme that will be unfolded further on.
 At o'clock six benevolent-looking old gentlemen, suffering from rheuma- tism, gout, etc., arrived at the bath house, and calling for the Superintend- ent, visited the different baths, and then proceeded to the reception-room, and commenced to put the Superintendent through a cross-eXamination in regard to their chances of being cured, and the cost, etc. While the discussion was at its night, terrible uproar was heard near the entrance of the bath-house, in which groans, shrieks, and yells of agony were heard that made the new guests turn pale and start from their seats in alarm. The front door was soon opened, and Gus Williams rushed in, eXclaiming:
 ''For Gods sake, Doctor. get two baths ready at oncei Two men have just been taken off the train who, we are afraid, will not live to get to the baths Can you hear them outside? Here they come now" said Gus, as other unearth- ly yells went up that would have made the heart of Sioux Indian jump for joy, and the door opened, disclosing the lengthy form of Charley Young and De Witt Cook holding up the apparently dying forms of Emerson and Clark, who were on crutches, their limbs bandaged and their faces the picture of despair.
 ''No use for bath for those poor men," said one of the kind old gentle men; ''they will not live an hour"
 "They are bad" said Williams. "but we must put them in; it is their last chances" and the boys were led to the rooms, keeping up their grooming SC pitifully that the new arrivals could scarcely keep the tears from their eyes, big beads of precipitation standing out on their faces almost as large as hen eggs.
 The old gentlemen listened attentive. ly and anxiously. The groans and erie: | grew fainter and fainter, and soon ceas | ed entirely.
 "The poor fellows are dead" said one of the o. G.
 II think not" said Gus; wait til the waters take full effect"
 In a few minutes a noise was heard from the bathroom that sounded likt some one humming lively song ant dance air.
 That's a shame" said the O. G. ''to be singing so near the presence o death."
 Just at this point out rushed Charle, Young, saying:
 NuS, they re oetleri uO you nel them singingP"
 You don't mean to say," said all tn o. G. at once, mot the men you jus took in there, who appeared to be dy ing?"
 ''The same," said Charley, and jus as he said this crutch came flying ou of the bathroom, soon followed by thre more, and then Emerson and Clar themselves in their bathing dress, wh proceeded to dance double clog, to tn astonishment of the o. G., who woul scarcely believe their eyes.
 "How -how-how-many baths hay these men had?" said one of the o. G in a trembling voice.
 This is their first" said Williams.
 "We will stay here for the summer, said the leader of the O. G., and u aCdnt bath HoW."