Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1882-12-30
THE FUNNY MEN.

quitur. because 1t does not loIIoN.
..What are crowds" The science
of love says the third party Is large
crowd.
When a clock is accused of beng
behind time there's something wrong
on the face OF 1t.
Professor in Physics -" What's
Bovley's Law" Diligent juror
Never trump your partners ace
The posse is much moro danger
Gus than the panther. A man was
killed by a posse in Arkansas the
other day.
A family who have recently moved
into suite of rooms received an Gle
pantlv- worked motto last week, which
read as follows: "Heaven bless your
fiat"
AIR moaned widow recently
bereaved, what misfortune. L
know what kind of husband ] have
lost. but how can know what kind
of husband his successor will be
What station is this?' asked a
lady passenger of an English tour
list near by. Looking out of the win
dow and reading a sign on the fence.
he replied: Rough on Rats, guess,
mum"
The verdict of the CorOners Jury
at Turnbridge Wells on the death Of
a child. was. The child was suffo-
Gated, but there is no evidence to
show that the suff,ocation was before
or after death"
Do YOU subscribe to all the articles
of the Athanasian creed?" was asked
an old woman. mo, | don't: L
can't afford it. There's a collection
next week for the Convention fund.
and l can't do any more" was her
reply.
This is the season of the year when
the agricultural papers are hard at
work advising farmers not to leave
their $500 mowers and $500 reapers
out in the snow all winter. No
farmer could get along without an
agricultural paper.
DE shanghigh chicken midi me
OBJ certain men dat Use seed. lie
crows mighty loud an brags around
'mong de hens an young chickens,
but when game rooster comes
around he's got business on de udder
side OBJ de fence"
A peasant comes to broker to ex-
change hundred-mark note for
silver. The broker gives him hun
bred mark roll. which the peasant
opens to see if it is all right. He
counts up to seventy one and then
puts it in his pocket. ut was all
right SO far, SO l suppose the rest is
all right too"
A scientific writer says: "a little
extract of ginger, mixed with hot
water and sugar, will counteract the
bad effects of wetting." That is
all very nice in theory, but in prac-
tice it will be found that the bar
keeper seldom has any ginger.
"What did you think of my train
of thought" asked lecturer of a
supposed friend Il thought it only
lacked one thing" replied the sup
posed friend. All" responded the
delighted lecturer, "what was that ?"
"A sleeping car" was the answer
ugh" exclaimed Brown, Il be
lieve I shall freeze to death; but I've
got to die some time," he added, "and
l might as we'll die that way as any
other" much BETTER" replied Fogg,
consolingly; you'll have such an ex-
cellent chance to thaw out on the
other side, you know"
"Going away?" they asked the
man who was closing the shutters of
his house and pulling down the cur
tains. "No," he replied, but I'm
going to put up some stoves, and L
don't propose to have any inhuman
ghouls look in at the windows and
see me and laugh at my misery"
Some time ago a very innocent
young lady paid visit to lady
friend, who, a few days before, had
presented her good man with son.
She had, of course, to see the baby.
After looking hard at the little
stranger for sometime she remarked:
Dear me, Maggie, how sunburnt
it is"
Old Chief Pocotello, now at the
tolb 1idli os5ciiSyt III dhoWOi W al III
quiry relative to the true Christian
character of former Indian agent
at that place, gave IN very terse Ian
guage the most accurate description
of hypocrite that was ever given to
the public. "Ugh too much God
and no -four"
A Honolulu paper describes one of
the Cabinet officers of the King as
"a deliberate, shameless and bias
phemous fraud; remorseless deceiv-
er, renegade Mormon swindler;
grand Panjandarum of the Latter
Day Saints" 1t is curious what bad
men will get into Cabinets the world
over.
"Why didn't You deliver that mes
sage as gave it to you2" asked an
Austin gentleman of his stupid SER
want. Il did de best 1 could, boss"
You did the best you could, did
you" initiating his voice and look.
80 you did the best you could. If l
had known that [ was sending don
key l would have gone myself"
One day toward nightfall, and in
uncertain light, man bought an
overcoat of pretended plum color.