The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-02-16
"QuestlOns An, wered."

care You one of the editors OF this
newspaper" she asked, in futtering
tone, approaching the man who does the
Questions Answered" for the Eagle.
Eyes, he replied, taking her in at
glance. "Make the waist plain and shirr
on the skirt; put in an apron front and
leave the back of the dress full, with
narrow hounce ut the bottom" and the
encyclopedia turned away to his work.
81 didn't want to ask you about dress, ="
she faltered. 81 hope am above the
vanities of this world. I have been
church member, but I am bewildered
about my responsibilities, and her eyes
filed with tears.
"Are you an idiot, lunatic, married
woman or habitual drunkard?" inquired
the Questions" man, running over the
Novum Organum to see if the pleiosau-
rus laid eggs or sucked her young.
"Sir?" she demanded with ringing
indignation.
Because if you amt, you're legally
responsible" he answered, turning to
the question: "How could the children
of Adam marry the daughters of man, If
there was no man before Adam?"
II don't near that. / want to under
stand whether am free agent, or if
am"
"That depends upon how you have
made your contract. If you bought the
goods outright, you are only liable for
the purchase price, but if you work on
commisslOn-"
.No, no; not that" and streaming
tears reused the Questions" man to
some show of interest. II am in doubt.
Which way shall I turn?"
"Well, my dear, that depends much
on the dance. In the waltz you turn
from left to right until you reverse. In
the"
GOOD heavenv' CALCULATED the in
quirer, she thinks dance. No, no, mol
You don't understand me. 1 want to
understand the right road"
Eyes, yes; l see. That depends upon
circumstances, If you're going to the
cemetery, you take Greenwood car. Ii
you're going over to Williamsburgh,
look out for q Greenpoint and Myrtle
avenue car, or, if you want the circus,
you will find the Fulton street"
"Merciful Providence! 1t is not that,
either. Can you scott at me when my
head is bowed thus in sorrow?"
"Oh that's it," replied the Questions"
man, glancing through Rollins history
to find the difference between Scandi-
navian and Sweedenborgian. Get
brown chic turned up at the back or on
the left side, and trim it with yard Of
Spanish lace and bunch OF forget-me-
nots in the front. Or, you might try
white Leghorn with"
Cant you understand me?" she
moaned, wringing her hands. Don't
you see that my feet are sore and weary,
looking for the right path?"
"Corns?" asked the Questions" man,
scratching his ear. "Pare 'em down
carefully, and put on four drops OF
lemon Or"
"You mock mew she sobbed. 'Pray
let me rest moment"
The Questions" man regarded her
sympsthetically and turned to the in
quiry, Ibid tine Athenians fry their
clans or eat them raw?" while he gave
her time to recover.
''I come for information" she con-
tinued, at length; IT want to know what
l can do. l am in a favor"
''Saltsr" proclaimed the encyclopedia,
with energy. You want salts; table,
spoonful an bour before breakfast. That
will reduce the fever, and then"
"You horrible wretch" sobbed the
unhappy woman, rising. came to you
because thought you could guide me
to the spiritual fountain for which am
thirsting, and you insult me IN this wan
ton wayw and she tapped out of the door
with riotous indignation.
''Most unaccountable female solilo-
quized the Question" man. II told
her what thought she wanted to know,
and she gets as, mad as the fellow did
when l told him pawn broking took its
origin in showing Jonah in the spout.
I've got to have more salary in this bust
ness or the the Eagle must get another
man. and the encyclopedia bent his at
tention upon his question: What
postage did Paul pay on his first ep.stle
10 the Corinthians?" Brooklyn Eagle.