Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1882-11-30
WIT AND HunoR.

is SO ALFRED lazy that when he once
cts to work he is too lazy to stop.
A man who ''takes life easy"-the
doctor
. The sidewalk shovellers will soon 60
for Winter quarters. @
A stump speech: ..Gimme the butt of
yer cigar, misterp" ,.,5
The creme de la creme of society
sours on many aspiring people.
Roses bloom in summer only, but a
large majority of the American nosa
blooms all the year round,
q. The humane individual who would
not crush defenseless worm will never
est chestnuts in the dark. 9z.
An exchange says that self-made men
have generally 4 great deal to saw in
praise If their architects.
An animated bundle Of raw material
for medical student argues that ms
laria is the result of foularia.
~ No matter how loose an sneassuasnt
ria9eAyhe. q 61Aa6olEd never slips
around on the inside Of Q lady's finger.
Dead men, it is affirmed, tell no tales;
but nobody has ever ventured . eimil&f
assertion with regard to dead women.
When you want q drink In Illinois
you walk into drug store and say s'ma-
laria" and the clerk ''catches right on"
Each of Garibaldfs children win re.
ceive an annuity Of $4,000 from tho
italian government. .,t,,g 4.te ..s.
A little boy says he would rather
have the earache than the toothache,
because he wasn't obliged to have his
ear pulled. Al - s
Man sticks up fantastic mile-posts -
the course Of empire westward takes its
way. A new town In Kansas Is called
Prairie Dog Jim.
New York Commercial advertiser: A
certain man in this city never laughs.
He writes for the comic weeklies and
reads nothing but the Tribune.
''You do not seem to be very sorry
for your lost son-in-lawg' .sOh, / regret
ted him enough when he was alive"
replied the legal parent. siig4 aa
Baltimore has girl fifteen years old
who has eloped three times. Go rs you
please matches are not confined to New
York, nor to the male sex.
Two hundred thousand people ars
asked to contribute nickel apiece to
build church In Texas. 1t should be
called the church of ST. Nickel us.
The reasons that aesthetics SO admire
the stotk Ii that he can stand for hours
on oneleg. and iesk as though he didn't
know anything and didn't want to.
A Vermont man who has been tlSl j
fourteen times, says the meanest thing
about misfortune with . polecat Is the
difficulty Of keeping it secret. -ra
Several of our exchanges are devot-
ing considerable space to the import
ance Of cooking girls" It's no use.
We don't want them cooked. The raw
dainsel is good enough for us.
A man named Dunlop requested The
odore Hook to make punning allusion
to his name. "Weil, Just lop of the
last syllable" responded the wit s.and
it's Dun"
ID Most any man can grab gun by the
muzzle and pull it over the fence or
out Of q boat, but the second or third
time will leave the gun without an own
or. ;ts
Girls who enter the English postal
service receive salary of $3.50 per
week. The outlook for the future hus-
bands of these girls is indeed sad
one. .s.sf,,...- ..-f.
A little city boy, who was visiting in
the country, and watching q woman
who had just been churning take the
butter from the churn. asked, "What II
thata" "Why. it's butter, Jimmie -
"Butter!' he exclaimed, In surprised
manner. what did you put It In the
milk forP''
A gentleman who took to medicine
late in life said TO friend: "You know
the old proverb. AT 40 q man must be
. fool or physician'p'' Yes" was the
reply; .'but, doctor, don't you think he
can be bothp'
Twenty-Five dollars will purchase all
the materials needed for young lady
to 60 into plaque painting, and X she
has any talent at all some OF the plaques
can be warranted to scare a cat to
death on sight.
Mr.. Vanderbilt has sold $4,000. 900
worth of his per cent bonds. 1t is
not known whether Mr.. Vanderbilt con-
templates having the plumbing Of his
new house overhauled or is going to
take hack-ride.
We are willing to take certain
amount of stock in newspaper accounts
of western cyclones, but when an Ar
kansas paper tells about a zephyr car
rying bed-quilt sixty-one miles, and
then going back for the sheet, we Amt
there.
A Newport snob recently went row.
Ing with small poodle. The boat can.
sized, the snob was drowned, and the
poodle swan ashore; and we are long,
ing 10 know II this Is case Of the sur
pival Of the fittest.
A cablegram states that the Khcdiye
OF Egypt has engaged an operate COM
pany which was to leave for Egypt in a
few days. The Khedive probably in.
tends to show his oountrymen some
real lighting.
5-year-old. visiting at tho seaside,
and obliged to sleep three in a bed. mar.
rated her dream, which, being unfinjsh.
cd, she accounted for fully by saving
she did not have room to dream the resi-
of ii, 'NN'
A young lady Of Philadelphia sang q
song to her western lover, the refrain a,
which was: ''Oh, listen to the sivbipo
Winds" and when she got through he
emphatically remarked: Il say, sis.
you ought to come out to our section
and experience a sigholone."
81 believe that mine will be the fate
Of Abel" said devoted wife TO her
husband one day. "How sop'' inquired
the husband. because Abel was kill.
ed by club. and your club will kin me
II you continue to 60 to it every night. -
Placing the adjective: Clara Cooking
at the bonnets, ETC. Don't you think
they are very handsomep' Amy twhose
thoughts are on the other side of the
street,; VERY. specially the ono with
the black mustache."
1t does torment a railroad restaurant
keeper frightfully to have customer
ask: ''How much will you charge me n
thousand for such sandwiches as thesep
I'm going to build house aud / think
they be more durable than brick"
Many Journalistic are clamoring for Q.
cent letter postage. There is nothing
mean about them. Whenever they re,
eeive tailor's bill by mail, the though,
obtrudes that cheaper postage y,ould
DO great saving to the tailors.
"When did the first train leave Ans
tin for San Antonioar asked a stranger
at tho railway deppt for Gilhooly, ssI'hc