The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-12-14
snoopendrke Cuts His Chin.

"My dear y exclaimed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, dropping his razor and examin-
ing his chin with starting eyes, "my
dear, bring some court plaster, quick
I've plowed off half my chin "
"Let me see p demanded Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, bobbing up and fluttering
around her husband. "Great gracious,
what a cut Wait minutev and
she shot into the closet and out again.
"Quick y roared Mr.. Spoopendyle,
I'm bleeding to death fetch me that
court plaster p
"Ob, dear ~ moaned Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. az put it--oh, where did /
put it2"
"Dod gast the putty" yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke, who had heard his wife
imperfectly. "What dye think this
is, crack in the wall? Got some sort
Of a notion that there is draught
through herep Court plaster, / tell
you Bring me some court plaster
before l pull out the side of the house
and get some from the neighbors p
Just then it appeared to Mrs.
Spoopendyke that she had put the
plaster in the clock.
"Here it is, dearp and she shipped
off piece and handed it to him.
Mr.. Spoopendyke put it on the end
of his tongue, holding his thumb over
the wound. When it was thoroughly
wetted it stuck fast to his finger, while
the carnage ran down his chin. He
! jabbed away at the cut, but the plaster
hung to his digit until finally his pa
thence was thoroughly exhausted.
What's the matter with the measly
business he yelled. "Where'd ye
buy this plaster2 Come off, dod gast
YEP" and as he plucked it off his finger
it grew to his thumb. "Stick, will
YEP" he squealed, plugging at the cut
in his chin. "Leave go that thumb!''
and he whirled around on his heel and
pegged at it again. "Why don't you
bring me some court plaster?" he
shrieked, turning on his trembling
wife. "NNho asked We for Il leech:
Bring me something that knows a
thumb from chin" and he planted his
thumb on the wound and screwed it
around vindictively. This time the
plaster let go and slipped up to the
corner Oh llS lnOuli.
"Now it's all right, DEAR" smiled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to secure
peace in the family. at is right
now -
"Think it is, do ye?" raved Mr..
Spoopendyke, with Il fearful grin.
Maybe you've got the same idea that
court plaster has P'raps you think
that mouth was cut with a razor
Maybe you're under the impression
that this hole in my visage was meant
to succumb to the persuasion of bit
of plaster Come off /! Let go that
mouth |" and as he gave it a wipe il
stuck to the palm of his hand as
!, though it had been born there.
. Let me try" suggested Mrs
Spoopcndyke, 81 know how to do it. ;
"Tien why didn't ye do it first
howled Mr. SpOopendyke. what dix
: We want to wait until I'd lost three
gallons of gore for? Oh, you know
how to do it? You only want a liner
back and bottle Of mucilage up yOul
side to be a county hospital? Stick
dod gast yew and he clapped tht
wrong hand over his jaw. "Il
hold ye there till We stick, if | holC
ye till my wife learns something !!
and Mr.. Spoopendyke pranced up an
: down the room with face indicatiyt
, of stern determination.
/, "Let me see, dear" said his wife
f approaching him with a smile, ant
: gently drawing away his hand sh
, deftly adjusted another piece of plaster
! THAT was my piece after all,
e growled Mr.. Spoopendyke, eyeing tn
: job and glancing at the palm Of hi
hand to find his piece of plaster gone
! "You always come in after the FIJI
9 neral"
Q - guess you'll find your piece stick
I ing in the other hand, DEAR" said Mr.;
r Spoopendyke, pleasantly.
"Of course you can tell" snortr
= Mir. Spoopendyke, verifying his wife
2 assertion with glance. "If / had you
g insight and pack of cards I'd hire
e shot tower and set up for an astron'
: mer !" and Mr.. Spoopendyke, who ev
: IDENTIFY meant astrologer, wore th9
n piece of blood-stained court plaster o
f his hand all day long rather than aC
nit, by taking it off, that his wife ha
ever been right in anything.-BrooI
Ign Eagle.