Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-02-18
Facts About Jay Gould.


with pine burrs in his clothes and a
stick of sasafras in his mouth, ap>
preached and said, s'Be you the wild
animal man, Mister?" The proprie-
tor of the Double Mammoth Masto-
don Aggregation admitted that
such was the fact
"Then," proceeded the man from
the mountains, II think I'll get you
to make me an offer for large sized
California lion I've got.
Good specimen, eh ?" said the cir
Gus man.
Good? well, I should say so
measures eleven feet from the tip of
his nose to the tip of his tail !;
caught him myself when a cub, just
four years old tomorrow.
"Hum, good appetite q
appetite? Well, I should smile
that's just the point; that's why
I'm parting with Jay. I call him
Jay Gould because he takes every
thing in. If it WASH for his appe-
tite and the queer little things it
makes him do, l wouldn't part with
Jay Gould for a fortune"
Savage, EN-"
DWELL, no; I don't know that I
should call Jay Gould savage, exact
ly, sorter nibblish, though, he may
be. Has a kinder habit of gna.ing
up things, SO to speak. In ia t, the
neighbors Il live up to Bladder S
Peak have gotten to be so noisy
and iussy and particular of late that
1 can't unchain Jay Gould for bit
of fresh air without their getting
grumpey about ii"
There's no pleasing some peo-
pie" said the hlppodromer.
Il should say not; now, for in
stance, but three months after Jay
got to be about as big as boarding
house sofa, / came home one day
from a picnic and found he had eat
en- up Aunt Maria, who had been
left at home to mind the house,
leastwise, she was nowhere to be
found, and as Jay seemed sorter
bulgy like, and kept coughing up
harpins and false teeth for day or
two, we kinder suspicioned the whole
thing
Maternal aunt?" inquired the
Snowman, thoughtfully.
Exactly. Ny wife took on
dreadfully at first, and wanted me to
shoot Jay right off. But 1 told her
that he had probably suffered good
deal as it was, that most likely he'd
catch rheumatism and things from
The remains, we'd better call it
square"
And did she g
"Well, she kinder got reconciled
after while, especially as Jay
seemed fond of playing with the
children. One morning soon after
that, my wife's mother whole family
lived With me, you see,) didn't come
down to breakfast. AS all her false
hair was hanging on chair back and
Gould crawled out from under the
bed licking his chop, and with a
tongue a good deal coated (mother
inlaw was always taking things for
the liver complaint), we saw at once
it was another visitation of Provi-
dence, and that the heavy hand OF
atfiiction was again upon us"
4" Looked that way, did it 2"
"Well, as may suppose, the old
lady Chats my wite) pranced around
good deal and got down the breech
loader right away But just then
arrived a gold medal from the S. p.
G. A, awarded ON account of my
forbearance in the Aunt Maria bust :
ness, and so got her Gained down
after while.
"Pacltied her, eh?"
Eyes, l managed to arrange 6
reprieve for Jay somehow. You see
I was awful fond of pets. and ten
derehearted and all that, you under
derstand. I argued that the pool
animal didn't know that he was doing
wrong. The merciful man is mercl
full to his beast That smoothed
things over for another month"
"What happened then7"
well, one day 1 sent Johnny
| CHATS our youngest boy down tc
the store for some sugar, and ht
took Gould along for company. Now
whether it was because Jay was
fond of sugar or not l don't know
but he came home alone, and soor
we noticed peculiar kind of bulge
on his ribs about as big as-Johnny
t We concluded that the dread
archer had marked another Skid
more (my name is Skidmore) for hi!
own. The whole family took on like
mad, and Mrs. Skidmore was abou
to shove the powder keg under Jay
Gould and touch it off herself, whel
| pointed out that it would not d.
to desecraie our offspring's tomb il
that way. So 1 had the burial ser
vice read over the lion, and tiet
Grape around it's neck for thirt,
days. How does that strike you {?
After that time you kept the ami
NAL chained ?"
"Well, no the fact is, I set out t.
get a chain several times, but on
thing and another prevented, unit,
last week I actually missed the oil
lady herself. 1 looked around fo
her couple of days, when someho,
of sudden 1 sorter intentione
where she was. 1 gave Gould half
pound of emetic right away, but all W
could get out of him was a pair of higl
heeled shoes and a chest protecto
It was too late-too late. We p,
the shoes and things into coffin an
had Jay led behind the hearse to Il
cemetery. We wanted to have
much of the corpse present as poss
BILE; don't you see? We had the al
| Ill ~~-.4L 4o-x1,-es ~