South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-05-19

Very kind drug clerk to a little girl
Now be sure to tell your papa 10
take this medicine according TO the d.
reciions on the bottle; an overdose
might affect his brain Little girl
oh, | guess there's no danger Of That.
or I've heard mamma tell him lots OF
ines be never had any brains
A little five ear old boy aston:sb.
ed his mother one day by urging her 20
see if his chin whiskers hal not COM.
menced TO sprout. Another time, stand
ing before her and looking up into her
face, he inquired, Ma, what's the reason
ain't man nows I've got jack
knife aud pocket book
The following ia related by an ar
my officer who witnessed the occur
renee:
A clerk in TIE Agency store OF Z ort
Rene, in lie Indian Territory, a short
time before the last total eclipse of the
sun, Informed Tie Indians that on a
certain day Gaming that on which the
eclipse would take place. he WOULD pro.
coed 10 put out tho sun, and il they
would assemble at that time. they could
witness the performance. The Indians
profcsscd not TO believe what he said,
but he assured them he would certainly
I, oil ii
arrived, If brought large number of
The noble red men 10 witness tho suns
extinction. A few minutes before the
time fixed by astronomers for the OF.
scuration TO begin. the wag mounted
himself on an empty sugar bogshead
and began his i1cantation. Presently
the sun began to disappear, and the
sons Of tue forest evinced uHmistaka-
BILE signs Of uneasiness, which increas
cd as The performance progressed, ul-
I'll a short time before the sun disan-
peared entirely, they rushed upon the
magician, eXclaiming, Bad medicine
nan pat out sum- and would have
dispatched him in short order had they
not been restrained by the soldiers who
bad gathered TO sec the fun.
The father of President Arthur was
notable FOR his readiness nt repartee "A
quality, by-the-way, possessed by the
President, who ia also capital RACoN-
TEUR. Some years ago, at a meeting OF
he Hudson River Bsptist Association,
the Rev Mr. Walden, VITO hal been
settled IN the West, bat who had re-
Gently taken church in Troy, said: i
can tell my brethren that il they think
any sort of ministers will do Tor the
West, they are mistaken. 1t won't 10
10 seud second or third rate men there
Mr. Arthur rose promptly and ex-
claimed: Mr.. Moderator, / never
knew before why Brother Walden came
back Jumpers Ma3a.ine
HE THOUouT THE JUDGE MusT BE
LosrNG HIS MINp.-'Wbat y exclaimed
an Austin Justice to colored cuprit,
have you tic audacity to say you do
not recognize this pocket-book p
Yes, sab
But 1t vas louud ia your possession.
In my what did yer say. Jedge 2
In your possession. This pocket
book vas found in your pocket, sir
ledge, you have done told two sto.
r'es ABOUT that ar. Fust, yer said hit
was foun' in ny possession, aud den
yer loved bit was fouu' IN my pocket.
I5ofe dem yarns can't be true
The justice called the culprit to or
der, anil once more producing thc peck.
ct.b0ok said:
You denied jus, nov any knovl.
edge Of this pockot-book. now ask
you again Gid you ever see this pocket
book before {?
Why Of course Hit am dc same
one you showed nc a minute ago. Yer
must be losing yer mind Jedge.
RomanAcd TO jail without bail
Austin Gezas, snings.
An absent-mirded Now Yorker
bad been so much in the habit OF send
iag bis children 10 their mother when
they preferred any request that The cLil
Gtcn after . time took to going directly
10 her, as To head quarters. one day
The elder son, aged SIX, wanted TO look
81 picture book belonging 20 his