Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-15
Noses.

Noses.
IT has often been remarked that any
kind of nose is better than no nose.
But it is very indefinite and hence IN
satisfactory remark, for nobody knows
exactly what the remark means. whether
| it relates to the appearance or qualities
CT the nose. A nose may be as beauti-
| full as the marble nose OF q Greek
statue, and yet be worthless for smelling
purposes, and as devoid Of expression as
| Il white wall. Such q nose is exasperat-
Jag to the last degree. The beholde1
has an irresistible inclination to tweak
1t, just to see, you know, whether 1t is
real flesh and blood, or composed OF
wax, putty, clay, porcelain Or marble.
HERE are noses SO immobiIe that they
remind one of the pyramids. They
asurp every function of the counten-
| ance, and, facing one OF these pyramidal
| noses, you 20 more think Of looking at
the neighboring eyes or mouth than you
would think of looking at an ant-hill in
| the presence of Cheops. On the other
hand-to be briefly accurate, on the
| other face-there is a nose SO mobile
that it seems to act for the whole coun-
tenance, like q squadron of flying cav
| airy. If you seek to catch the owners
eye, Lis mercurial nose goes up or goes
sideways with a sprightliness which IS
marvellous; ii you seek to look at his
| mouth. his nose goes down with equal
facility. No matter where your glance
| falls, it is challenged and arrested by tits
| ubiquitous nose.
The unfortunate Juliet philosophical
finely upon the unimportance OF 81
| name" whats III name ?" solilo-
qnizad the love- sick beauty. But, alas !
she found an accumulation OF horrors,
and, ii the end, despair and death il
the name Romeo.
WHAT'S in nose queries the innocent
| MAIDEN as she morallzes about the pro-
boscls OF her lover. which iuts, repellana,
nom his lace like a promontory Oh a
desert island frowning on the sea. Alas!
| contiding sweetheart, there is more in
that nose thar. is dreamed Of in your
philosophy. There are fourteen bones
III It, and a mass Of cartiiages which are
ossifed into immovable rigidity. It is
an unbending nose; it will domineer
it will dictate it will subd,te it will
crush your young spirit. As it domi-
neers over its face, so it will domineer
| over you. Il will say "no" to every Ole
| of your softly expressed desires, although
its eyes will give forth no light and is
| lips utter no sound. 1t is the nose ON
nicient, the nose omnipresant, the nose
all-pervading, and it hides everything
but self, as the promontory hides the
| island.
The demonstrating nose in the entire
family OF noses is the nose that curves
| toward the face, runs almost to point,
and then buiges into a knobby pro
tuberance like an exaggerated wart.
Such nose may be good enough to i'll
hale odors with, but it is good for moth
ing else. If the possessor of this sort
Of nose is a generous, whole-souled
person he is compelled to get over his
nose, as it were, to prove it. It is as if
he sent G herald in advance prOclaiming
his own meanness, and then came halt
| ing in the rear denouncing him as a liar.
There are no two noses exactly alike,
but ali noses have many things in COM
mon. For example, all noses sneeze,
snore, snarl, snuff, snaIi1e, and SWIVEL.
| 1t IS fortunate for mankind, however,
| that there is no concert of action among
| noses, for if all the noses in the world
! should sneeze at the same time it is
eminently probable that the earth would
| be thrown cut of its orbit by the con-
cussion of sound.
Many persons stand in terror of their
| noses, as witness the remark often made:
II fear I shall sneeze my head off. -
Thousands of people make extended an
nual pilgrimages to avoid annoying their
noses. Their noses having gotten the
best of them, so to speak. they try to
eonoliate them by travel, by following
them over the ocean, into the mountains,
to the springs, and the seaside. Some
noses have fallen into the lamentable
habit of beginning to snoeze violently,
annually, at a certain hour of certain
day in the year. The possessors of these
noisy noses weep and tear their hair with
rage, but to pull their noses they do not
| dare 1t is under such circumstances
| that the question arises Does the man
control the nose, or the nose the man ?
And those who maintain the latter crop
osition have the best Of the argument.
They declare, for example, that if the
man with hay-fever had the least in
/ fluence over his nose he would make it
! stop sneezing. Chicago Tribune.