The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1882-01-20
HUMOROUS.


Never known to get tired Outstand-
ing debts.
First freshman to second ditto. ssDid
you get her photo while you were
away p Second F. /: s'Wellahs the fact
is she gave me her negative. "
A Western editor, in response to q
subscriber who grumbIes thath morn
ing paper was intolerably damp, gays
"that is because there ig 20 E2Ilch due
on it.
The Boston Home Journal speaks of
s'picked squad of twelve men from the
Crescent Bicycle Club." They were.
doubtless, picked out Of soft layer OF
mud.-Modern Argo
ssMr. Smith, said a lady at fair,
s'won't you please buy this bouquet to
present. to the lady you love z
s''Twouldn't q be right" said Mr.. Smith.
SIN married man"
The great trouble experienced in Iowa
in keeping Russian blood hounds is the
fact that they don't discriminate be-
tween the tramps and members Of tho
family, but bite all alike.
Stories first heard at mothers knee
are never forgotten. Tt is the same III
some other things received at a potk .Ns
knee, which will readily occu to our
reaIers. -Rocklasad Courier.
Mr.. G. Delauney is the author Of an
article to prove that women are in every
way inferior to men. It is hardly neces-
sary to state that Mr.. Delauney did not
touch on the subject Of doing up r SIX
hair.
Financial and commercial In mer-
camille houses it is always deemed best
be cautious in crossing the It's and
dotting the ssi's, but IN broken banks
the defauIting cashier,s chief thought IS
to cross the ssc's."
ssYou have heard M love. that
Amanda IS about t1 marry Arthur r. q
now III. lgti + <aasf q Isl
that & woman as intelligent as she Is
can consent to marY Q man stupid
enough to marry her"
The astounding statement Is made that
there are only FIVE professional dog
thieves in all the great City Of New
York. A more marked instance OF the
neglect Of a great industry IN not on
record. Philadelphia Press.
ssThis world is made up Of little
things" moralized Mr.. Hickenlooper,
as he dug his knife into the qnivering
heart of an underdone potato. "That's
SO, softly assented his wife, gazing at
him with such piercing lock that Mr.
Hickenlooper quite forgot the thread
10 the discourse. =. Rockland Courier
When, in the course of human events,
a mans false teeth come in contact with
rusty pants button, lying in ambush
in mince pie, and the teeth are tipped
up on one side, like fiat car off the
track, he feels disheartened and cogi-
tates for a time on the mutability Of
earthly things. oil City Derrick.
Smithers "Why, Swellington, what
ever are you doing with two hats !"
Swellington 'Idea of my own, dear
boy. In this country fellow is always
lifting his hat. What are the conse-
quences ?-disreputable tiles, colds in
the head What's the remedy bowling
hat. "-Panch.
When an ultra fashionable lady can't
suddenly turn Streeb corner W1eno1
the brim Of the aggregation on her head,
called hat for short, rasping the eyes
Of man on the opposite side OF the
street, it is time for the great public
educator called the press to enter an
emphatic protest against the fashion.
NoTristopn Herald.
"What Did he Marry Her For9" is
the title of recent novel. We haven't
read the work, but we imagine It was
because she had an income of $4,000 q
year. That's what young men marry for
nowadays, for they work SO hard that
they need all the money they can get
to support wife, PhiLadelphia Item.
A naval officer, for his courage ia a
fierce contest where he had lost a leg,
had been preferred to the commend OF
a good ship. In the heat Of the next
engagement cannon ball took off his
wooden deputy. SO that he fell upon tho
deck. A seaman, thinking he had been
wounded again, called out for asurgeon,
mo, no." said the captain, the car
penter will do"