Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1882-08-12

fernal malice and GINNING devise some
adequate, diabelical artlfice to bring the
Irish to our Standard
There vas long and momentous 81
lence; there was an evident hesitation on
the part Of the members Of the council
tn resp nd TO the Summons Of their en-
ragged chief.
At length very venerable white hair
ed old devil, one of the patriarchs of
Lucifer's host, Was seen to rise. Imme-
diatelya great sensation ran through
the assembly, and the greatest ea9erness
was manifested to hear what this old
veteran counselor had to say. Even In
cifer himself drew forward his chair Of
state and raised his hand TO his ear that
be might better distinguish VIVA was to
b Said. The devil who was abo7t to
speak was held in great awe BIZ them all
and Justly 90. 1t was said that he it was
who led Judas to betray his Savior: tt at
be it was who prompted Henry VIII of
England in his sgil and bloody course;
that he was the adviser Of Martin Lu-
ther, the evil gen rs of Queen Elizlbeth.
and the constant companion Of Oliver
Cromwell.
No wonder he was regarded with ave
and reverence IN that place by such an
assemblage.
Most renowned MASTER he began;
II have long meditated on this mighty
problem. How to seduce the Irish from
their religion has been nv chief study.
I have thought of many plans and ydri
Gus methods, and finally hit on the one
which / am certain will not fail. The
Irish cannot be induced to enbrace
another religion. Persecution has been
tried in vain; the prison does not terrify;
the ak and ths gibbst fail to appall
them. Famine and pestilence, exile,
and even death, seem of no avail. They
are unyielding to the end. Parsons and
preaching amount to nothing; the Irish
scorn the one and turn deaf ear to the
other. But have discovered -and con-
coctsd the means, more potent than all
else, to bring over the Irish In great
swarms. Adopt it and We will soon have
to enlarge hell for the Irish recruits.
| Whisky-that is the means and agency
| to conquer the Irish when all else fails.
Send over TO Ireland. and wherever the
Irish people are to be found, great
swarm of active devils. Let them be as
signed-ssme to collect sugar, others to
distill whiskey and the remainder to
boil water. Then compound whisky
punch and deal it out to the Irish peo-
pie. Whisky punch, whisky punch is
the thing to bring down the Irish
The counsel was received with applause
and Immediately acted ON. The devils
went over to Ireland, and set to work in
all parts. The Irish easily took to the
} drink" and soon hell was swarming
with them. Thus the Irish We're perver-
ted.
Lucifer again called another assembly.
and in the presence of all his hosts he
loudl; applauded the old devil whose
counsel had been thus crowned with
success. he assigned him place and
rank next to himself, and he is still
there.
| At this climax the people, who had
been growing more and more agitated
burst into sobs and groans, during which
the preacher descended from the pulpit
The discourse is said to have made 81
deep an impression ON the people tina,
they ever after abstained from the taste
of whisky, thinking, SO they said, tina,
they saw the devil stirring the whisky
punch"