davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

At church wedding in another city
where the bridegroom led for the second
time bride to the altar, the officiating
clergyman, with an intention better
than his wisdom, thought it well to
make a few remarks as the bridal pair
stood before him, and he did so in these
words: Dear friends, this is indeed a
happy occasion; and all that is needed
to complete this happiness is the pres
ence of the first Mrs. Thompson
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15
Advertising Rates.

Business Cards, one yeer ono dollar for every line.
local Notices ten cents per line for each inserton
and all notices continued for three months longer
o discount Of rs per cent.
Advertisements sunacccrrsnodb by verbal or written
directions viii be published three months.
Advertisements, under contract, ordered out b.
fore expiration Of time, win DC charged full rates.
No paper discontinued until ali srrearages are paid.
except at tho option Of the publisher.
Transient advertisements must be paid In advance
HS Terms CASH, payable quarterly.
Only Metal Cuts inserted.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

A Providence woman contrived to
get false advertisement of her enemy's
leath into the papers, with the age set
iown at 3S years, and the "NIiss" in
serted to remind the reader that she
was still unmarried. Murder isn't saw
age enough for some folks.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

A strong minded woman married a
man not noted for activity of body or
energy in character, and before the
honeymoon was over, upon awakening
one morning he found bis spouse in
tears.
my love-" said he, what is the
matterr ~
ooh, ! have had such dreadful
dream"
"Why, what was it 2"
81 thought / was going up Broadway,
shopping, when / saw sign 'Hus-
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

"Mean," said Mrs. Ragbag, "that
hoy of Gallagher's is the most abomin-
,ble little wretch in existence. Yes
terday when the family in the next
house were having fight and jawing
1t the top of their voices, he got in the
street and yelled so you couldn't hear
lnything else to save you."--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

"What is meant by the pomps and
vanities of this worldf" asked the Sun
day school teacher. "Them flowers on
your hat, num-" replied quick witted
scholar.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

Crowds are honest. If you compli-
ment an individual man to his face, he
will pretend he dosen't like it; but tell
an audience that it is with unspeakable
pleasure that you appear before such a
line looking, intelligent body Of men,
YOU will be applauded to the echo.-
EY
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15
WIT AND HUMOR.

1t is said fortune knocks once at
every mans door," In most cases it
must have knocked when the man was
out.-New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

Mutual Judgments Scene: A horse
fair. Aristocrat: "Ya-as, he may be
jewel a--but you want too much for
him. He's got such an ugly head and
legs. Irish dealer: "An' faith sor, if
the horse could only spake, he'd be
lfther saying as much iv your honor"
Punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

1t is shockingly impolite to say of a
distinguished public man that "he has
advanced from poor house to palace
out of the savings of a salary which
never paid his expenses. "-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

When Douglass Jerrold heard a So
ciety bore speaking of a song that "al-
ways carried him away" when he
heard it, Jerrold simply asked if some
one present would please to sing it.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

He entered the grocery store, said
not word, but allowed his cane to
swing to and fro exactly as the pendu-
Ium Of clock. The grocer only said,
"No; we sell nothing on tick" and the
man with the cane passed sadly and
silently out.-Louisville Courier Jour-
nal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

This is a goddess country. A man
was arrested for kneeling and praying
aloud in Broadway. He might have
stood and sworn with impunity.--Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

A question of madness: THAT dog
If yours few at me this morning and
bit me on the leg, and now notify you
that intend to shoot it the first time l
see it." "The dog isn't mad" "Mad !!
I know he is not mad. What's he got
to be mad about? It's me that's mad"
-Ex
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15

God be thanked for books. They
are the voices of the distant and the
dead, and make us heirs of the spirit
ual life of past ages.-Channing.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-03-15
CHAS. ". CORNELL,
Architect & DraughtSman.

Once IN Comstock block, Second street, Al
pena Mich. Will furnish plans and specifications for
buildings, and superintend the construction of the
same IL desired. Will also give attention to the
making and copying Of maps. u kinds Of orna-
mental designs, writing and lettering in India Ink
water oil coors, done on short notice and at rea-
sonahle rates.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
FARM WAGES IN ENGLAND.

The condition and wages of the Eng
lish agricultural laborer have been made
the subject of an investigation by the
Mark Lane Express, The report shows
him to be in a rather sorry plight. He
lives i'll little cottage, paying his en-
plJyer usually about SO cents week ront
say about $50 a year. His privileges
are few. As a rule he is not allowed to
keep chickens OF a COW, for in the one
case they would be almost sure to run
upon his employers fields. and in the
other, the animal would require pasture
and his master has no arrangements for
this; therefore-strangely enough-on an
English farm the man who does all the
work is under the necessity of buying all
his own milk, butter and eggs. As to
the pay far farm work, it appears from
the statistics compiled by the express that
the nominal weekly wages i'll the South
ern counties OF Cornwall. Devonshire and
DorSetshire is about So. IS per week, as
an average, rising considerably. as the
metropolis is approached, and with extras
added giving IA yearly pay Of about $40.
But this does not include board as in the
United States. In the midland shires
the pay rises somewhat, and in the North
ern counties it amounts TO about S4.25
week The southern counties are by far
the finest, agriculturally. yet the pay is
less than iii the less fertile shires of the
north. The highest income of the farm
laborer-s2225 year-is a beggarly sum
on which to support a family, especially
when we consider that the staple articles
of food are much higher il England than
in America
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
A Little too Warm.

4 tent was pitched near Hot Springs,
Arkansas and the announcement of a
show brought crowd. When all tn !
money obtainab!c for admission had been
received, a stalwart negro wreStled with
a monster bear. The combat was fierce,
and passed from play to work as the
beast warmed up. The spectators scream
ed with excitement, and it seemed to be
a question of life or death with the negro.
Bleeding and exhausted, ne finally got
the bear oil the stage, amid overwhelm-
ing applause. The assembly insisted up
on an encore. When the tumult had
reached its height, the negro appeared,
carrying a bag. After acknowledging
The kindness of the spectators, he stoop-
ed down, and drawing knife from his
pocket, commenced to tumble with the
bag. The people surprising this to be
some new trick, preserved breathless
silence. Then he cut the bag open, and
there issued from it swarm of bees. AS
the insects buzzed forth, there was a
movement of the crowd. then panic,
and finally wild rush for the exit. Some
got out by cutting Sits in the canvas of
the tent with their knives.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
A Medley of Facts.

There are two thousand seven hundred
and fifty languages. Two persons die
every second. Sound moves seven hun
bred and forty-three miles per hour. \
square mile contains six hundred and
forty acres. A storm blows thirty-Six
miles per hour. The average human life
is thirty -one years. An acre contains
four thousand eight hundred and forty
square yards. Slow rivers flow five miles
an hour. A hurricane moves eighty miles
an hour. 4 ritle-b ball moves one thousand
miles an hour. Rapid rivers flow seven
miles an hour. A hand (horSe measure)
is four inches. Electricity moves two
hundred and eighty eight thousand miles
per hour. The first lucfer match was
made in 1929. Gold was first discovered
in California in 1915 \ mile is five thou
sand two hundred and eighty feet, or one
thousand seven hundred and sixty yards
in length A moderate wind blows seven
miles per hour. The first locomotive
in America was built i'll 1880. The first
steam engine was brought from England
in 1853. Until 1,l6, cotton spinning was
performed by the hand spinning wheel.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

da, or something of that kind, in be-
| half of-in behalf of what? That is the
| interesting question. The cause" of
| liquor dealing has heretofore been con-
sldered safe with only the championship
of the unregenerate stomachs of man
kind. If the arguments supplied by
those always Jealous and sometimes in
ilamed advocates are not eificacious, what
can the Rev. c. c. Burnett and the IL
quOr sellers do about it ? In the earlier
days of the West, it is reported to have
been the custom. as it is reported still to
be the custom i'll mining camps, to invite
the stranger to drink, and TO kill him if
he refused. But the liquor dealers can
not really hope to revive the death pen
atty by making the refusal to take drinks
statutory and capital offense. Nor can
1t be possible that its missionaries are to
go up and down the State with revolvers.
terrorizing communities which are not
thirsty into taking unlimited drinks for
the behoof of the Liquor Dealers and
Manufacturers Protective Association"
If that were the purpose, clergyman
would hardly be chosen as an emissary,
and if the James boys were alive-who
would be more effective than any other
.miSaries i'll tn 5 peculiar feld-they .
would demand salaries for stimulating
an artificial demand Cor demanding an
artificial stimulant) which would nearly
wipe out the profits of their missionary
labors. 4 party of boys" might cor
raj the inhabitants of an Illinois viilaoe
and drive them to the bar, but it would
be difficult to make them drink. Besides
one drink does not deliver man over
completely to the rum fend, and it would
be necessary for the liquor dealers, even
If they could force one round of drinks
upon an unwilling populace, to repeat
the raid many times before com
munity of abstainers could be converted
mt" community of hardened and ha-
hitual drunkards The scheme of extend
ing the market for spirituous beverages
by organized effort" is likely to en-
counter serious difficulties.
Meanwhile the advocates of prohibit
ton ought to be aged by one in
cldental revelation made by the Conven.
ton OF liquor sellers. 1t is frequently
maintained that prohibition does not pro
hloit, and that the consumption of liquol
is really as great in communities in which
the sale of liquor is forbidden by law a.
If 1t were permitted as freely as the salt
of any other article. The Illinois liouo, "
dealers confess that the plohibitory law,
made in Western States have reduced III,
volume Of the liquor traffic, and thei,
whole project of crusade in behalf o
stronger and more frequent potation
proceeds npon this confession. What i
probably true is that resident, not
traveller, in any place in which there
q Prohibitory law can get liquor to drin
If he is willing to take trouble enoug
in order to get it; but that prohibitio
does very much diminish the traffic i
Intoxicating drinks there could be n p
doubt, even if the liquor dealers of III
nois had not made their confession.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

HALLS VEGETABLE SICIIIAN
REVIEWER is scientific combin
of some of the most powerful res
tive agents in the vegetable king
1t restores gray hair to its orr
color. 1t makes the scalp white
clean. 1t cures dandruff and hui
and falling-out of the hair. 1t furn
the nutritive principle by which
hair is nourished and supported
makes the hair moist, soft and 81
and is unsurpassed as a hair dres
1t is the most economical prepar
ever offered to the public, as its
remain a long time, making on
occasional application necessary.
recommended and used by EN-
medical men, and officially endors
the State ASSayer of Massachu
The popularity of Halls Hair Rel
has increased with the test of
years, both in this country al
foreign lands, and it is now know
Ired in all the civilized countri
Me world. Z
For sale by al dealers. Z
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
LIQUOR SELLING AND LIQUOR
LAWS.

The liquor question is coming to play
an active part in the politics of several
Western States. The liquor dealers of
Illinois have just held Convention,
which has viewed with apprehension and
alarm the triumph of the hosts of prohi-
ton in Kansas, and the formidable as
pcct of the enemy i'll Nebraska and Mis-
souri,. and which calls upon its own con-
stituents to shake of their lethargy, and
to grid themselves for work" Fully
half of the towns. cities and villages of
Illinois, says the report "have been
won by the prohibitionists. This is an
alarming fact" 1t is comic to read that
the liquor dealers believe in organiza-
ton and "agitation,' and that they
have employed lecturers, among them
1.-The Rev. C. c. Burnett to inaucurate
Il crusade or establish "propagan-
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
LIFE ON THE STEPPES.

Besides the striking phenomena OF n
ture there is little to be seen during IT,
long ride across the plains, except in al
near the miserable Russian villages thu
are dotted every ten {. fifteen miles alor
the route. Just now the villages show
much more life and animation than
al; for the last weeks before the long
son of religious feasts it is the CT
tor the young people to get married,
the more the merrier. In score of l.
lagos through which we passed, weddin
seemed to be the only occupation goiI
on. Sledges. driven by wreathed- crow
ed peasants, crowded to the fullest
tent with girls of all ages from six
thirty, all singing with unpleasant
high screeching voices, pass back a
forth along the village streets or are dr.
Ell in procession around their the lit
wooden church. The old peasants, L
relatives of bride aud bridegroom, ST
inside and get dead drunk in honor.
the occasion. In one post-housc we VIC
caused long delay by the old postmas.
having drunk himself silly, though
little after noon; by night he w6.
either have the delirium tremens or
found by the traveller rolling outside
the snow. OF animal life in the will;
streets you see on sunny days all the
tie of the community standing close
against the wall of the houses on
warm side of the street, getting all
comfort they can out Of the sunbeam,
younger members here beginning t
acquaintance which in springtime rip
on the steppes to love and the more ca
est duties of animal existence. OF
lowtravellers you meet but few at
post-houses along the road in wiz
time. In these resting places there is
ways one room set apart for travel
where you may sleep through the nj
on hard benches if you choose with
any payment whatever exacted. In
journey of thousand miles the nun
of travellers We met could be counted
the fingers. At one station we -four
Russian and his wife occupying two
fas OF the guest-room. At another.
met an entire family who had SPENT
weeks on the road from Irkutsk to TrC
The husband, man of about forty,
occupied post as cashier Ia ban.
lrkutsk, and was going to St. Pc,
burg to seek new and more genial.
mate. He was accompanied by his
little girl and an old nurse. One G.
little girl, he told us, had been t.
sick at kransnejarsk, and she had
and had been buried. At another ST..
we met an old government empl,
lettering and feeble, who had spent
ty years of his life in Irkutsk, and
finally obtained influence enough to
himself removed to st. Petersburg. "
he hoped to end his life among his frit
He was a sorrowful- looking wreck,
had had the misfortune TO be robbie
his way by fellow-traveller. Ra
indeed, does petty official ever r,
from his far Siberian post. 1t is
enough to get sent out, but only on
thousand can ever save money enou
return to their friends.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

again and empty it when he came back:
so she had no trouble trying to thaw out
frozen drinking pans. On two or three
extremely cold days the chickens were
! given a bucket of water. milk warm, in
the morning as well as at night, for they
did not seem inclined to come ont.
The result of Nenias care and feeding
was that she got from her thirty six hens
| a dozen and half of eggs every day,
even in the coolest weather. Most of the
time she got from two dozen to two doZ-
en- and half, and until after the middle
of December thirty or thirty-four every
day.
Two families in town engaged three
dozen each, weekly. during the winter of
fresh eggs for use on the table. They
paid thirty cents a dozen, without regard
to the changes of the market price, and
Nenia sent them in twice week. She
used all she needed in the family. and
they used them freely in various creams
and sweets, and at least five mornings
out of the week, boiled, poached, or fried
for breakfast, and added what she had
over to the packed ones, until they reach
ed their best price near the holidays
Then eggs sold for fifty cents dozen.
After Christmas she did not pack any
but sold each week what was left after
those engaged had been sent, and plenty
Tor their own use put away. Sometimes
eggs sold as high as thirty cents doz-
en-. Most Of the time less than twenty,
and towards spring at twelve and half
cents.
Counting up in the spring Nenia found
that expense and trouble had been but
trilling. 1t had required but few F.-;o-
utes' thought and work each day t.
vide for the wants of the chickens aud
the profits had been more than double
what she expected them to be.
The result of her experiment proved
that chicken-keeping on small scale was
profitable. Xcnia found that chickens
will do well if left very much to them
selves; that they need q variety of feed.
and a plenty of it; that meat. vegetables
and cooked food keep them in good lay
ing condition, that pepper i'll small guam
titles, and sand and shell il abundance are
required. and il corn !. fe, it should be
rakei into the ground or straw, 50 the
chickens will be obliged 70 scratch for
It,
Nenia learned from some source that
the suntlower is Of great value as q food
for chickens. and she has raised in the
bosom of some Of her friends the false
hope that she too has become devotee
tonsthetic art, for all along the fence
around ten-acre meadow she has Il row
of suntlowers growing
Her friends praise the yellow haired
beauties who turn their dark faces to
their god in mute alterations; the sleek
Jerseys and sott-eyed Guernseys chew
their cud and mediate beneath their
shade; and Nenia looks at them as she
drives by behind her yellow ponies aAd
smiles with pleasure at the prospect Of
plentiful crop, which will give joy to her
feathered tribe when the cold snowy days
of the coming winter shall drive them
from their summer haunts.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

The Collector of the Second district at
st. Augustine. Oh September 18th Murphy's
Mill. 18th Port Herman, 9th; Chesapeake City,
18th. 18th and Both.
St. Augustine. on October 25th Murphy's Mill,
Goth Chesapeake City. 27tl!, 18th and 3Jth Port
Herman. 3lSt
Chesapeake City. on November 18th. 25th and
9th Port Herman. 18th: st. Augustine 18th ::
Murphys Mill 3uth.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

BENZ. u. BOWEN, Clerk
OF The County Commissioners OF Cecil County
Aug u. 1882
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

The Collector Of the Eighth District at
Rowlandvi!e. on September 18th: Conowingo.
10th: Pilot Town. eth; Rock Springs. 2sth Por-
tcrs Bridge. 18th: Mount Pleasant :}oth.
Mount Pleasant. on October 10Th: Rock Springs
Goth: Pilot Town. 27th: tonowngo. 18th: Porter 5
Bridge. :iuth: EOwandviIc, 3lst
Mount Pleasant. on November 24th: Portcrs
Bridge. 25th Rock Springs 27th Pilot Town 2Sth;
COnowingu 18th: RV"!andville, 3Oth.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
FOR SALE CHEAP.

nNE "Success Pump Asst has not
W proved success will dispose OF it for what
ever it is worth TO the purchaser.
Apply to L. G.. STRICKLAND,
Sept 16-lw Elkton. Md
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

The Collector of the Third district at
New Leeds. on September 18th Cherry Hill
26th: Elkton. 9TH. 18Th. 10Th and 30th
New Leeds. on October 18th: Cherry Hill 9th:
ElktUn. eth. 2Sth. iUth and 3'St.
E.ikton. on November 2ith. .ith. 9TH and 2Sth {:
Cherry Hill. 18th New Leeds Both.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

The Collector of the First District at
Warwick. on September 25th and 26th Frcder-
icktown, 9th: Earleville. 18th: Cecilton, 18th
and 3Oth.
Earlerlle. on October 25th: Frclericktown
10Th: Ceciltpn. 18th AID 18th; Warwick, 30th and
3lSt.
Ceciltor. on November eith and 2hth Earle
willie. nth: Frcdercktown. 18th Warwick, 2uth
and 3uth.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
TAXPAYERS, TAKE NOTICE.

In pursuance of an Act of Assembly. passed
January session 1881 chapter IS. The County
Commissioners OF Cecil County have named the
days and places for the Sittin%S OF the Collectors
Of State and County Taxes in their respective dis
tricts, for the purpose OF receiving taxes, FOL
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
The Collector If tbe Ninth Distr;,t

The Collector of the Ninth District at
Zion. on September 2dth and 10th: College
Green. 9Th: I.onbarllville. 18th: Brick Meeting
House. 18th ana ;iUth
Zion, on October Gath and Goth; Brick Meeting
House, 27th and :!sth College Green, 3Oth; LON
barivilc. ;:ISt.
Brick Meeting House, on November oath and
18th: Zion. eth and 2sthi College Green, 18th;
I4umbardvlle seth.
And at these slttings the Collectors will allow
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

The Collector Of the Fifth district at
Principle. September 18th CharlcStown,
10Th Bay View. 18th: Elk Neck, 18th; North
East. 18th and Both
Principle, October 18th: Charlcstown 26th:
North East, 27th and 2Sth Bay View, 3uth: Elk
Neck. 3lSt.
North East. November oath and o5th: Prin-
cipio. 21th: Ckarlc.town, 18th: Bay View 2yth:
Elk Neck Goth
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14

The Collector Of the Sixth district at
ColorI. on September 18th: Liberty Grove 18th:
Wood Lawn. 3,th: Farmiugton. 18th: Rising Sun.
18th and ;,nth.
Rising sun. 9TH and 2sth Wood Lawn :iuth:
Pennington, 3lSt.
Rising sun, Oh November 9th and .5th, Cnlora,
9th: Liberty Grove. 18th; Wood Lawn 18th;
Pennington. 3Oth.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-10-14
NEH L1DFERTISENENI,S.

The Agonies of Bilious Collie the ndeScriha-
Bile pangs of Chronic Indigestion. the debility and
mental Stupor resulting from coStivc habit. may
he certainly avoided by regulating the system
with that agreeable and refreshing Standard Pre-
l,aratiuh. TAKEAN MIS- SETTER ApEHIENT.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS