The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-06-01

One DAY laSt week o DeGrO1G produce
buyer had occasion to remain over night
with o farmer in Western Michigan.
While eating supper he was asked if he
knew anything about law; whether he
had served on jury; if he called him
self q competent man to arbitrate in an
affair between neighbors, and if he was
posted on the law in regard to breach of
promise cases. He answered these
questions as best he could, and appar-
emily to the satisfaction of the farmer,
for as soon as the meal was finished the
sun-browned agriculturalist confidently
began:
II think you are pretty square man,
and may want you to help me out of a
little difficulty. I'll beback in about a
half of an hour"
He put on his hat and went down the
road, and at the time agreed upon he
returned in company with a young far
mer about twenty-five years old, whom
he called Josephus. The only peculiar
things about Josephus were his faxen
hair, long legs, white eyebrows and
breadth of feet, but he was no mud-sill
As soon as he was introduced he opened
the case as follows:
"There hain't no use in my beating
around the bush. The fact is when I
first come here fell in love with Uncle
Sile's Mary. She reciprocated and we
agreed to have each other. That's COR
rect, isn't it Uncle Sile?'
"I guess that's about the way of it,"
replied the farmer.
wall, to make long story short, last
January gin Mary the cold shake fur II
gal over in the Beebse Settlement. Mary
is good gal, but she amt even second
fiddle on style or good looks. and Uncle
Sile knows that as we'll as do. Now,
tier, they've been talking about breach
of promise suit on me, and won't deny
they've got case. I've been willing all
along to settle damages on fair basis,
but we couldn't just agree on what was
fair. Uncle Si!e comes over and says
you are here, and he offers to leave it to
you If I will, and so if you will act on
the case we'll come to some agreement. ="
"Where is Mary?" asked the Detroiter.
"Down in Martin county, Indiana"
answered the father
"And how old is she?"
"She's only twenty-one and that's
another thing to be considered. Tain't
like as if she was forty, and might have
to go off to China as missionary"
"And how much property are you
worih?"
"Wall, I've got forty acres of scrub
land, an old COW, and mule, and l
reckon the traps about the place might
bring $40 at auction. That's homes In.
Jun, and Uncle Sile knows it,"
"Yes, that's about the way he's fixed, "
said the farmer.
"And another thing you want to con-
slider is the fact that amt purity. If
was purity the gal might claim high dam
ages, but I'm about IS internal homely
as Digger Injun. Add to this the fact
that I'm an inddel, and that can't sing,
nor fiddle. nor dance, and am too lazy to
enjoy billed dinner, and what has the
gal lost by not marrying me?"
And you are both willing to leave it
to me?"
ST reckon" they answered together.
"Well, all things considered" said
the Detrciter after due reflection. my
verdict is that Josephus drive the old
COW over here as payment in full for all
damages. What do you say, young MANI"
1.-THE COW is worth S14, but Ill do it
rather than have any hard feelings
Chow is it with you, Uncle Sile?"
S'Waal, guess that's about fair. l
b ID been clicking out for $15 in cash but
times are purity clus and l want to give
Joe fair show. Con git the crittur,
Josephus, and we'll have the papers
made out, treat the stranger to hard
cider, and 60 to bed feelin' that we are
as good friends as before you gin Mary
the shake. 81 Hsverhill Bulletin.