Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-02-24
Hawk -Eyetems.

Women are not cruel by nature. We
never hear of one thoughtless enough
to step on a mouse.
An exchange says the difference Ee-
tween hungry man ard glutton is.
"One longs to eat, and tho other eats
too long"
/ When man is headed for the pawn
brokers' with the money to take out his
pledge, he may be said to havs a re.
deeming point.
A young lady drives horse car In
Cambridge, Massachusetts. In doing
this she is in advance of ali the college
boys who ride.
a Derby doctor killed fox, and the
Derby Transcript sardonically remarks:
The doctor means business when he
gets after EN-"
Patti is said to guard herself care
fully against cold. AS the Boston
Bulletin expresses it " she does not be
lieve in free sing"
A London newspaper says that short
honeymooas are the fashion now. II
is presumed the honeymoon ends when
the last quarter is reached.
1t may be right occasionally to take a
bull by the horns, but it is always we'll
to keep in mind that the horns belong
to the bull - GLASGOW Times.
A s.. Louis woman concealed her
marriage for three years. 1t is prob
able that her husband had a wart on
his nose or some other deformity.
There is no accounting for tastes. :
Nonsense! What is the work of g
book-keeper in an eating house, bu!
accounting for tastes p Boston Tran.
script.
Oscar Wilde won't touch liquid POI.
son in the shape of alcoholic stimulauts
When ho feels bad he merely drops
into back street and takes a sniff O,
malaria.
The clergyman has many duties
sucb, for instance, as engineering fairs
making oyster stews and lemonade, and
ruring love-sick people by j,ining them
i marriage.
Chickens nre an exception to the rule
that nothing is made in vain. Chicken
cro4uettes are now made without the
concurrence Of chicken or any othc,
variety of meat.
We are informed that Guiteau is a
great apple eater. He eats half peck
a day. This is another reason WHY be
should be removed" Apples are tee
scarce this season.
A young man who was presented
with eleven Q1een Anne pen wipers Oh
Christmas by his lady friends, contin
ues to wipe his pom on his coat tail
Norristown Herald.
Mistress" Bridget, l really can't al
low You to receive your sweetheart in
the kitchen any longer" Bridget;
Thank you kindly, mum. but he's toe
bashful for the parlor."
The sailor has one advantage over
the soldier in the matter Of amuse.
ments. The soldier is liable to lose
his pack of cards, while the sailor il
always sure of his deck.
Want OF memory is considered one
OF the strongest proofs Of insanity
The tailors then have good reason to
believe that most of their customers
are crazy B Boston Courier.
Young clergymen do not now receive
so many pairs of worked slippers as
formerly. Higher art comes in, and
the preacher may expect more painted
jugs.-lNew Orleans Picayune.
In winter, our dietetic friends tell ne,
we must eat good breakfasts. This
sound counsel should be distributed
among the deserving poor, engraved or
a pretty card Buffalo Commercial.
A Massachusetts judge hes decided
that the ringing of q church bell at
O'Clock in the morning is a nuisance
The mau who has to ring the bell must
have reached that conclusion long ego
II [Norristown Herald.
The Rochester Chronicle can't re-
member On instance where woman
ever slept during church service. LIE,
q man set himself to criticising every
bonnet in the building and what time
would he have for sleep.
The youth who attempted to rob q
Western railroad train had his top and
marbles taken away from him and his
kite broken into hundred pieces. Ir
fact, these train robbers must be treated
with the utmost sevefity.-[Quincy
Modern Argo.