Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-30
HE WAS DECLARED INNOCENT.


HE WAS DECLARED INNOCENT.
The negro Baptist church Of Chicago
has been called upon to decide whether
its pastor, the Rev. James D. Podd, had
or had not broken q promise to marry
Cora Wheeler. He is yellow, eloquent
and handsome. She is black, ignorant
and ugly. The accused pastor called
attention to the contrast, and asked if
it was probable that he had ever asked
her to become his wife. The vote was
unanimous that he was innocent.
ONE MILLION MORE.
Commissioner of Pensions Dudley
has made the discovery that there are
100000 ex-soldiers living who have
not yet applied for PENSIONS, and has
the audacity to hope that Congress will
pass another arrears of pension bill to
lug out of the Treasury another fifty or
sixty millions q year for score of years.
Dudley reports that he has information
that petitions are now in circulation
with such an end in view.
HE HAS HAD BONES broken.
Elihu Stevens, aged 81, of Middle
town, last week dislocated his hip.
Eighteen years ago he broke both
wrists and almost broke his neck,
which was seriously injured. At an
other time one Of his legs was broken.
and he has twice broken one or more
ribs, besides his nose. In all he has
had twenty-six bones broken, and yet
he is q temperance man.-NeaU Haven
(Conn.) Palladium.
SHE WAS BOUND TO SEE THE CIRCUS.
Whe heard an old darkcy say to his
wife at the circus: "Look ahere, Suse,
yer just got to make up yer mind; ef
yer gwine ter take de shoes yer can't
go to de circus, an eff yer is gwine to de
circus yer can't git de Shoes" Just
about this time the band struck up a
lively air, and Suse told the old man
she would go barefooted q while longer.
(Ga.) Banner Watchnse,s.
BEYOND ALL EXPECTATIONS.
After stating thst some far-seeing
citizens of Keokuk, Iowa, had discov-
cred the figures "a chasing each other
Louisville Co4rier-Joursa0I adds these
remarks: cit was q big victory, but
this thing of old Sol hanging the Dem
ocratic returns OH the outer walls sur
passes the expectations of the most
sanguine."
AN ANGLER HOOKS A DUCK.
A most extraordinary piece of fish
ing was done by Mr.. Joe Lindsey, of
Clarke county, on Monday last. A
duck had, unobserved by him, dived
and swallowed his minnow, and he had
the surprise and pleasure of landing in
his boat and capturing a live duck thus
taken.-Richneond( Virgin-
ia) Wing.
AN ELMIRA BELLIES INDICATION,
It is said that there is al avenue belle
who wears shoes without stockings.
This morning some of her associates
enclosed pair of hose in an envelope
and sent them to her. The matter was
not taken as joke, aud for time there
were indications of bloody battle
Elnaira (N. W Free Press.
oAT CLUBS IN GEORGIA.
Oat clubs are the mania among Geor.
gia farmers, and as an incentive to hard
work aud great care in growing their
crops are great success. Every MEM
Der has to pay two bushels of oats To
sAAS
on given number of acres, and one
bushel to the next highest.
A TREE OF EXTRAORDINARY aIRTTf.
Anon the obstacles removed from
the roadbed Of the prospective Arkan-
sas and Louisiana Railway, Ark. was
a tree which measured twenty-six feet
in circumference, and which REQUIRED
the combined efforts of six men. work.
ing for nearly eight hours, to tell ia
Little Rock Gazette.
HOW OUR GRANDFATHERs RUGGED.
An old member of the Legislature.
when he saw the fashionable waltzing
1t the inaugural ball, made the follow
ing sensible remark: "Weu. I don't |
know what they call such IS that now,
but in my raising such wrestling as |
hat was called hngging. ."-Sasaaa,aA
Go.) Nes0s.
BEN AcSp THE PRESS.
The Hartford Post notices that Ben
hutler used To- talk about "the forty