The news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1882-1891, 1882-08-24
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
he whom we call "a live man. is al
ways in dead earnest
When Mr.. Goblet the French Minis
ter, fell from his carriage, the other day,
he became tumbler.
SKINNY MEN.
Wells Health Remover. Absolute
cure for nervous debility aud weakness of
the generative functions. ST.. at drug.
gists. Prepaid by express at $1.25, 6 for
IS. E. WELLS, Jersey City. N. J.
The lahdedah cigarettee-smoking young
man may be appropriately referred to as
third class male matter.
"RoUGH ON RATS"
The thing desired found at last. Ask
Druggists for Rough on Rats" Itclears
ont rats, mice, reaches, flies, bed bugs.
l6c. boxes.
Ny son, you ask who or what nobody
is. Well my dear young man, a nobody
10 q prominent woman's husband.
0OCAOfAlbA.
New, quick, complete cure 4 days, urin-
airy affections, smarting, frequent or diff
cult urination, kidney diseases. ST.. all
druggists. Prepaid by express, $1,25 s
for IS. E. 8. WELLS, Jersey City, N. j.
Base ball players have been fined.
Now let them be refined, and the national
game viii regain its lost attractions.
DR.. Kline's great nerve restorer is the
marvel Of the age for all nerve diseases.
All fits stopped free. Send to 931, Arch
St, Philadelphia, Pa.
Women kiss each other-not because
they Ike it, but to make men mad at the
reckless waste Of affection that is going
on.
The purity and elegant perfume Of
Parkers Hair Balsam explain the pop
ularity Of this reliable restorative.
The fly now takes the Mountain air
upon the peak of some grand old bald
head, ond his morning bath luxuriously
in the milk jug.
A Delicious Appetizer,
That ensures digestion and enjoyment
Of food; tonic that brings strength to
the weak and rest to the nervous; a harm
less diarrh@a cure that don't constipate-
just what every family needs-Parker's
Ginger Tonic.
4s this your first appearance in a court
Of justice7" asked the Austin Recorder
ola vagrant. mo, Judge, it is my last
time thus far-how is it with yourself?n
4 Deem 1t My Dssty to Tell
What DR.. swayne's Compoundsyrupo Of Wild
Cherry has done for me. had a violent
cough, night sWeats, sore throat. great weak
up all hones Of recovery. am cured, q
EDWARD H. HANSON,
Engineer of Sweanys Pottery,
1884 Ridge Avenue, Philanelphia,
Over twenty-five years have elapeed and
am still hearty man.
The sublime state of misery is endured
only BY man with stiffly starched
vest, q collar that wont stay buttoned be-
hind, pair Of tight shoes, and black
berry seed between his front teeth.
ElegGst Toilet Preparations.
Hair dressing, and restorative is found In
London Hair Color Restorer' It seldom
falls to restore gray or faded hair to its orig.
tnal youthful color aud beauty. Failing
hair IS checked by Its use and 1t produces a
growth Of beautiful young hair soft, glossy.
and luxuriant. It certainly Is the most
cleanly aud effective hair restorer now be
fore the merican people.
a. A. Gibson, Barryt0wn, Duchess county.
n. II, writes: DR.. Swayne q Son, Phiiadel,
phia: Gents-I enclose Post once order for
eight dollars; please send me one dozen bot
ties Of the London hair Color Restorer. /,
II has stopped my hair from falling, and re-
stored It to Its natural color It has proven
satisfactory IN every respect. The "London
Hair Color Kestorer" can be obtained at an
the leading druggists at rs cents bottle.
The Chicago Press Club refuses to ad.
NIT women to its membership. Then il
gets along with mighty poor squeezing.
The power Of the press can never be
known unless there is a self-registering
corset to test il on.