Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-06-16
Fl U N


there was in the show case, when stoop-
shouldered countryman entered the store
and inquired
"Haye you got any good jeans pants
here 2''
Certainly, my frent," replied Hoffen-
stein, I'VE make specially uf goods in dot
line, und we derry competition. Ut We
sell ANGLING und you get your money back
or someding else in exchange, you know.
Vas you farmer2'
ssYes, sir, live on Red river.'
ssYell, den. you need a bair uf bants like
desc" said Hoffenstein, pulling out sky
blue pair from pile Of clothing on the
counter. s'Dey was the genuine doe skin,
und will last the whole year oud, you
know
The countryman took the pants to the
light, examined the texture of the cloth,
and then shaking his head knowingly
said:
"There's too much cotton in them, they
will shrink
"Of course my frent,dey will shrink, but
Wait und dells you someding. If man
vat owns q pank or keeps store comes
here, don't sell him dem kind of bants.
Wy Because dey vas made EXPRESSLY for
de farming piziness. Dey vas de dermome-
ter bants, und blessing to every farmer
vat wears bair uf dem. Do you know,
my trent, dose bants will dell you exactly
vat de vedder will PEP Ven it vas going to
pc vet and cold dose bants will begin to
shrink up, und ven it vas going to pc dry
und warm, dey comes right down, you
know. Dree years ago 1 sells bair to a
man named Wilkins, und efer since den he
makes good crops ven de oder people don It
make nOding, because be always knows by
his thermometer bants vat the vedder Will
pc.
Alder vile de beople in de neighbor-
hood find out the secret OF Wilkins success
und at de beginning Ut de planting season,
you know. dey come for dirty miles arount
if .dey see Wilkins bants crawling up his
legs Gey hold off und waits for a change,
but if his bants vas down, dey goes right
back home, und put in der crop. Dink uf
it my trent. Nit de thermometer bants
you can dell exactly ven to put in cab
bage seed, und plant corn dwice as peter
as NIT an almanac, besides ven de veddsr
gets so cold und vet dot de bants goes up
under your arms, you can sew buttons on
de front und wear dem as vest"
When Hoffenstein finished his yarn con-
corning the pants, tie countryman smiled,
and turning abruptly around on his heel
left the store.
Did you see de way dot man acted, Her
man? said Hofenstein, angrily.
Eyes, SIR" replied his clerk.
s'Vell, it shust shows dot de more you
try to help some beople along de more you
don't get any thanks for it. "-Joe c. Aby-
CREAM AND STRAWBERRY PASSION
.Myrtle, dear2"
Eyes. George, what is itp'' replied the
girl, elancing shyly upward.
The radiant glory of summer moon
shone down upon the earth this June night
bathing in all its mellow splendor the leafy
branches of the sturdy old oaks that had
for centuries shaded the entrance to Castle
McMnrty and laughed defiance to tn
fierce gales that every winter came howl
ing down in all their cruel force and fury
from the moorlands lying to the westwar'
of the castle. On the edge of the broad
demesne that stretched away to the south
stood a large brinde COW, and as the
moonlight fecked with silvery iustre her
starbOard ribs she seemed to Myrtle per-
feet picture of sweet content and almost
holy calm.
us it not beautiful night, dearest?'
muImured the girl. "See how the moon
beams futter down through the trees,
making strange lights and shadows that
fit among the shrubs and flowers in such
weird, ghost like fashion. The dell is
indeed clothed in loneliness tonight,
sweetheart
YES said George W. Simpson, ''thls
is the boss dell" and then looking down
into the pure, innocent face that was lift.
ed to his. he took in his own broad, third
base palm the little hand that erstwhile
held up Myrtle's polonaise. AS they stood
there silently in the dusky glade George
passed his arm silently but firmly around
Myrtle's waist.
The noble girl did not shy.
ssDo you love me, sweetheart?" he asked
IN accents that were tremulous with trem-
uousness.
Myrtle's head was dropping now, and
the rosy bushes of Calumet avenue inno-
cence was chasing each other across the
peachy cheeks.
George drew her more closely to him.
If mosquito had tried to pass between
them it would have been bad-for the mos
quito.
.sCan you doubt me, darling?" he whis-
pered. 'sYou surely must know that L
love you with wild, passionate. whoa.
Emma love that can never die. Do you
love me little in return?''
For an instant the girl did not speak.
George heard the whisking of the brindle
cows tail break in rudely upon the solemn
stiffness of the night. and ever and anon
came the dull thud of the bullfrog as he
jumped into a neighboring pond. Present
~ Myrtle placed her arms about his neck,
and with wistful, baby s-got-the-cramp
look in her sweet face, she said to him:
II love you George, with deathless devo-
tion that will eventually keep you broke"
And with these fateful words she adjusted
her rumpled bang and fearlessly led the
way to an ice-cream lair.
Tommy asked his mother it the s chool
teachers ferule was piece Of the Board
of Education.
pa. what is meant by muscular Chris
tianity?" "Pewgilism, my sen.''