The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-12-05

End, it is true, and here's hsv . woman
slipped up On it when she thought sh,
found one:
Alter calling at several places withou
success, she was Posing one Of the bes
residences in the TOW u, and Observed tidy
locking woman cleaning the yard. Halt
ing she inquired Of The ~emsn whethe,
she knew of = girl that could be hired
The answer was In the negative. Th,
LADY By this tine became desperate, and re
solved 70 hire the woman before her, al
though she knew it was wrong to covet bel
neighbOr's servsst. In low tsne Of voic.
she began 70 relate her troubles, and wound
up BY urging the womzs to leave Mrs
= and come With her, promising her 9
dollar more . week than she was then re-
ceIving. The wemsn answered that sha
liked her place, and could not be induced
to give il up. And she added:
BESIDES, generally sleep with Mr. -
and don't think he would allow me to &c
away"
The lady departed, utterly astonished q!
what she heard. Her feelings NAV be i'm
agined when she aiterward learned tia,
she had been talking with the mistress Of
the mansion, and the wife Of one of our
most esteemed citizens.
Serve her right, for don't Webster's die
tionary say, "Ih0U shalt net covet thy
| peighbor's wife, nor his man servant, nor
his maid servant" Yet Beecher did the
FIRST, and this woman the last. And you
see the awful consequence to both.
And we will bet . dsllernaf that the
woman that tries TO steal another mans
vile fOr a servant, is the very one mention.
ed in the following:
"She was SO i'll when her new bonnet
came home that she could not get up but,
dear sakes, Jane, that didn't matter moth
ing, for she just put that bonnet On, and
lay with her head cut of the window all
the afternoon"
Talking about mean women, whs's your
doctor, stranger? There's enough to 20
J round, and We confidently lsok forward to
the day when, instead of every man being
his swn doctor, every man will have his
own doctor.
Which will be handy for the man, but
rough on the doctor.
There's Q big difference in doctors.
Some doctors study hard all their lives,
spend hundreds Of dollars for books and
scientific apparatus, and devote their whole
lives to their profession. Thea, again,
some doctors come along with clean shirl
and lots Of cheek, put cut big advertise
ments and set up some horrible pictures in
the hotels and slide alsng just as easy rs
rolling Of . leg So you see, when ii
comes to brains ". cheek, the latter is
ahead in pecuniary point of view. The
poet we'll illustrated this by the following
parable:
In Aninaltown before his lair
At leisure sat hungry hare,
A doctor BY profession,
In gloomy meditation.
"Why shosld thank thee, Jove, !" he sighed,
Fer brains of rare ability,
Fer knowledge of all the means OF cure,
For moral life end motives pure!
l wait in vain st mine Office door,
No mortal ever seeks my lore:
Whilst opposite, . feline quack
Has the unaccountable knack
Of drawing patients BY the troop"
Just then among little group
of cocks, bard BY, tight broke out,
Nor did they cease the luckless bout
Till one of them received q wound.
This to mine interest may rebound"
Thought our physician hopefully,
Zone of those fellows looks this way:
Now, Jove, please hsve me called, / pray:
Posted in sight csnspicuously,
1 wait with modest dignity"
But ere the fowl could move . claw,
The doctor opposite he saw
fastening to the sufferers aid:
Heard him with bold authority
Order the patient to be laid
Upon o coach in his quackery,
And treated with catsip remedy.
The thwarted lsech in fell dispair
Bent his brow, and tore his hair,
And sished-"Ye sightless, foolish nation,
With lack of ali Discrimination,
Twixt knowledge and bold ignorance,
Will never Jove, your wit advancew
Alas the world continued blind,
None discovered his hidden mind
He died, while sill awaiting fortune;
From cold, exposure and starvation;
Whereas the subtle, thrifty rat,
In fortunes smiles grew slick and fat.
The world attributes efficiency
OF useful ken and ability
TO him, who haply knows enough
To be his own successful pub.
Well, reader. We believe we'll quit-per.
haps you will wish We hadn't commenced ;
but We amt that kind of hairpin. When
We have got anything to say, its bound to
be said, and there amt going to be any hall
hired either. Stranger, this is veil Of
tears-there is altogether to much weeping
and guashing of teeth. Try and be hap
py, likewise virtuous. Stay at home nights
don't run with FIRE machines. editors
printers, or railroad men. And the day
will come when you can part your hair in
the middle and give Shakesperian read
ings for Sabbath schools. Vale.
p6The Scarlet, Cardinal Red, Old
Gold, Navy Blue, Seal Brown. Diamond
Dyes give perfect results. Any fashion
able color, 10 cents.
Respect for Him.
The Sedalia Times of . recent date con
tains the following:
"Wh.tever differences may have existed