South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-08-25

an idhHoau CO servant. MT. L. -,
the railroad company's lawyer. is noted
for bis nervous manner in examining
witness. and cndcavoring 10 disconcert
and trcak them down. This witness,
however. was determined not TO be sat
down upon, by his opponents council.
After becoming thoroughly incensed by
The attacks Of the lawyer, hc ren,onstra.
ted. He said: 'Mr. L., am IN in.
valid. l will not allow you to question
me in this manner. IL is positive in.
jury to my nervous system. which is al
best in shattered condition. shall
have To refuse t. answer your questions
unless you put them In Tiff erent man.
ner. am troubled ION account OF The
injury received on the railroaJ) with
sclcrosis OF the spinal CORD, and his min.
ute CAN SEE VOC DOUBLE. when Lord
knows.h is enough to upset man TO
SEE YOU ONCE ~
Don't you think have good face
Tor the stage 7 asked young lady with
histrionic aspirations Il don't know a.
bout the stage replied the gallant COM
panion, but you have lovely face for
bus
INDEPENDENT YOU'VE LApyEs-The
Greensboro On. CD Patriot says there
passed through that town recently gay
aud irolicsome party OF six young girls
en route To the mountains. They were
all robust, good-looking, full OF life and
energy, and bent on :rolc. Dressed
in uniform style of walking habit slight.
iy shorter than even the prevailing FASH
ion, made of excellent and durable lin
en-. plain but pretty hats. easy shoes,
with high ankles for dust, they were the
personification OF comfort. Zach bore
knapsack upon her back, solder style,
snd was armed with revolver and large
bowie-knifc. The trip takes in nearly
all the mountain counties. Some nights
they camp out aud others they pass at
hotels, as humor or convenience may
happen. With no baggage or equip
mcnts except what each carries upon
her person. this might bo called the
chargc of the Light Brigade Three OF
them are Marylandcrs and three Viz
sinans.
On certain occasion q train which
Merewetlier had gone to meet was some.
what late. A tcsty old gentleman,
stranger TO Mcrewether, got out Of all
patience at the delay, anu exclaimed,
What a villainous station this is =
They try to irritate one on purpose
Look at those girls in tue rcircshment-,
room; why do they dress them all IL
LACK 2
Don't you know p said Me-ewethe1
in most solemn tone of voice, and with
an awo.struck look on his face.
No replied the stranger, in subdu>
cd voice, and looking quite alarmed.
Why said MereNethcr. they arc in
mourning for TIC late train .
Little Freddie vas undergoing the
disagreeabIe operation Of having his
hair combed by his mother, and lie
grumbled NJ the hangover. why Fred
die said mamma. you ought not to
make such fuss and cry. don't cry
when my hair is combed.' Yes, repli-
cd the youthful party, but your hair
amt pitched 90 your head.
II there be one thug upon This earth
tAat mankind loves aud admircs bet
ter than another, it is brave man
man wh9 darcs to look the devil in the
face and tell him he Is the devil
Philadelphia Mrs: Mr. Elitor-Will
you please answer who was Darid's
wife's mother? and you will greatly o.
bligc q rcader.-Lizz.e. Ccrlainly-
with pleasure. Dayid's wifc's mother
was Dayid's mo,her-in-law.
BILL ARP on LOTS Ihere's more
in the boy than there is in the College.
In these days Of cheap books my hoy
or girl can get an education ir they want
u, but my observation IS that not more
than one in ten wInt an unusual q1aD-
THY. If tho family takes a COOL news p
paper and has a Bible and a few books
~ The hou1c and tho chil;ren ID an hon
est days work, Grey get along about rs
we'll as tho college boys ia the long run.
and do as much cool in Tire world. 80
Congress has got note smartness than
any place, ! reckon, hut If I was hunt
ing Tor patriots, who Thought it sweet to
die Tor their country, wouldn't 90 i'm
"l all. The best people ! know Of and
the most reliable in a. N fi,,,, 6 ,-....t.t