The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1882-11-11
LACONICs.

IL 10 lliO lANO NtAJ bAl0b NobNAiCD WV
early boot,iack-
A rare thing in ladies' bonnets-
An unpowdered face.
"Work is the salt of life," says
Mr.. Upper. Perhaps that is why
many of us are SO eternally thirsty.
eyes, said the county member,
81 went to that variety show be
cause | was sure there would be nc
one there who knew me. Durn'd
if pretty near the whole Legislature
wasn't there !"
A Kansas boy named Black was
changing his pants when pistol
fell from his pocket and exploded,
the ball shattering his arm. lie
will confiue himself to one pair OF
pants hereafter.
A Cincinnati man in trying to
break $40 colt smashed up 800
worth of property, but as he had
the applause of some 200 men and
boys he didn't mind the loss much.
If you can't trust aman entirely,
let him skip; this trying to get an
average on honesty has always been
lure.-Josh Billings.
Professor Huxley estimates the
take of herring in the North Sea at
5000, 600, 900. Before relying on
HuXley's estimate we would like to
know whether he saw the fish or
took the statement of the fishermen.
Douglas Autz, of Norwich, fell
under a moving train he was trying
to board. When the train passed
Douglas arose, uninjured, with his
cigar in his mouth. And vet there
are people who claim smoking to
be injurious.
A wild western orator wound up
very thrilling speech by saying
" And fellow citizens, there is not
a man, woman, or child i'll the
house, Of so years of age, who has
not had this truth laundering
through their minds tor centuries. .
Old saying: 81 have divided
my subject. began the parson,
Into two heads" "Two heads
with but single thought" whisp
cred Fogg to Mrs. f., and then he
closed his eyes for his usual nap.
A shirt has two arms, the same
as pantaloons have two legs. Yet
one is called a pair and the other is
only one. Isn't it time that we let
up on comets and paid more atten
ton to every day trihes that veA
the clearost minds.
Officer of the Prussian guard,
looking at the ocean, to his wife
"lsn't this glorious sight, Min
niei But the sea seems greatly
agitated-probably has never be
fore seen an officer of the Prussiar
guards.
Plantation philosophy-Remem
Der, young man, dat de best frien
yer's got ON dis earth is a better
fl'ien' ter himself den he is ter you
Pay no attention ter IA man by dc
boasts what he makes. Thunder
doan all de time tell OBJ a comm
rain. Doan turn man outen dc
ranks of spectability case he's I
coward A hound dog amt mucl
on de fight, but he's mighty use
full animal. While Nature wa,
foolin' away her time paintin' differ
ent colors an strip pes on de horns
OBJ de Jack snappers an odder bug
| doan see why she didn't contriv,
some easier way fur a chile to Gu
teeth. .-ArkanSaS TaUeler.
When a young man kisses hi
girl goodnight, about 1870 a. IN
he may have nearly a mile to wall
before reaching his home, and h,
envies his girl, who, he supposes
jumps into bed and is fast asleel
ten minutes after he leaves tn,
house. He doesn't know that sh,
must first fish seventy-nine hairpin
out of her head, one at II time, AM
twist her hair up into bits of paper
so that it will crimp nicely next da,
and that he is in bed snoring be
fore she turns off the gas. If h
was aware Of this fact, perhaps h
would leave earlier.