davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-04-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A Philadelphia man can SO mesmer.
ize people as to make them think water
is whisky while they re drinking it. He
is offered an enormous salary to come Il
Boston and tend bar.-Boston Post.
The late Thomas Hood. driving in
the country one day, observed q notice
beside fence, ''Beware the Dog" There
not being any signs of q dog. Hood wrote
on the board, "Ware be the Dog?''
Think I'd live in that building?''
exclaimed the lady who ran q boarding
house. '.Not bit of it! Why. all the
doors fasten with bolts. There isn't q
keyhole in the building. Boston Post
The dreadfully mean Cleveland
Press wants Anna Dickinson to assume
the part Of little Eva in play-we for.
get the exact name-with respect to
somebody's cabin, Elmira Free Press.
Jones says they haven't any fire de.
partment in their town, but he feels Ger.
tain, from the frequency with which his
step-ladder disappears, that there must
be . hookin' ladder company somewhere
about. -R0ne Sentinel. 81 eah sntlI
on Longfellow's birthday .
N9l3 Goodness, gracious, sakes alive, Jalai
L0ngfellows s-e-v-e-n-t-y-nvei 10
There was more of this, but it had to
be cut outon accountof an extraordinary
press of reading matter in our columns
Huntington Hasck-Eye.
The member of the New Hampshire
Legislature who denounced q bill that
was under discussion As ''treacherous as
was the stabbing of Caesar by Judas in
the Roman Capitol is now trying to get
out of it by saying that he used .'by
Judas - sort of oath, Just as he would
say ''by George or 'sby Tunket." He
says he knew well enough it was Hanni-
bal who stabbed Cesar.
-'sThe country will always be safe. :"
says q contemporary, "while her citizens
continue to take an interest in politics."
This il true, and it Is pleasant to observe
that the interest Of her citizens in poll
tics continue undated. And what more
patriotic picture could one wish to look
upon than that Of man discussing the
tariff question in . corner grocery, while
his wife ct home, down in the cellar. il
rasping her fingers splitting kindling
wo0d?-S onsesUille Journal. ~
ai-"If," asked the client. IS . man has
his OK gOred, can't he recover snythings''
/" Not In this court he can't" calmly re-
piled the lswyer, pocketing his retainer.
she may have his socks gored, or cut
bias, or made plain with panier for tho
heel and flounces for the bunions; mo-
body can recover . cent from you for il.
Make 'em as you like 'em." And the
client went away and told his neighbors
that lawyer Taketall was going crazy
Ha,ck- Eye. oaa ~,
One Of Washington Irving funny
letters telb about naa who, In 1oin9
home from dinner party. Is which IL
had taken too much wine, fell through
an open grating into vault beneath tho
sidewalk. He found the darkness and
silence rather oppressive It first, but in
the course Of the evening several Of tho
other guests fell in aud. on the whole.
they had . very pleasant hight Of IT,
Exchange.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-04-07

DIR. Strother. Kentucky lecturer,
holds that the Garden of Eden was tho
Mississippi Valley, and that Neah's ark
started from Manhattan Island.-Chi-
cd00 Herald
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-04-07

w 1CSAS. JIG "a tuo AlSnl8uO OWCcIS
had brought his bagpipes, on which the
miscreant was distinguished amateur
performer. MacLeish was one of the
noisiest and gsyest there. Icould hardly
recognize the proud, reserved boy /
knew. The Pryse-Davieses were b.
witched with him and he with them.
- - What has come to you, MacLeish!
l asked, when came upon him, sitting
in . dark corner alone, his face buried
in his hands. He looked up with queer,
wild smile.
I'm not mad, Jones, or melancholy,
I'm fey; that's what It ISL I I'll
t'Come home now, there's good fell
low; it's past two, and you wanted to be
early 80
"Not . bit of it! I've . waltz with
Miss Winnie and half q dozen other
dances to dispose Of
The other men departed BY degrees,
but MacLeish stayed on to the last and
with him. 30
/ might have left him. but some in
stinct detained me. At last we took
leave. siFs
. Our shortest way home was through
the Lady's avenue and l took it without
reflection. Half way through the grove
XacLsish stopped. He had forgotten
some nonsensical commission for one of
:. tn overtake you." he said. Unjust
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-04-07

without Alistor lowering about him and
ministering to his fancies, and I must do
my best to drag him into society. He
certainly hates the sight of his fellow
creatures As much as any man I know"
Accordingly, next day, instead of our
usual secluded seat on thu ahingle, by .
deserted Martello tower. I Suggested that
we should take our books 20 the parade,
studying in public being 2 cinqhaven
fashion. ~ AS
where's the paradea I've never
seen it vet" he remarked. i marched
him eastwards forthwith. Il was half
past twelve on a bright autumn morning,
the sun was shining. the sea dancing,
bevies of pretty children rolicking on the
single, and three Of the prettiest girls in
Cinqhaven taking . brisk turn sftsr bath
ing. The prettiest bowed to me. and
looked as if we might come and talk to
her if we liked: but all that MacLeish
said was: :. Il was . bad place for work
ing and tina. lie wanted to go to the, town
and buy some red ink. "
This way" said. IS You don't
mean to say you've not been down the
Iady'S Avenuee"
We turned through . gate into the cool
shade Of some pollard elms tha$ made q
b0wery walk across some low lying
meadows to the town. ..Some dead
and,gone country lady-bless her con-
,siderate. soul-planted this grove and
bequeathed it to the town. Its the pref
test thing in Cinqhaven.n
.sThe town doesn't seem TO appreciate
it." said MacLeish. 1T has been let 60
to the bad. These trees want thinning
and some young ones planted in those
gaps
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03

probable that Iriquois and Foxhall will try
conclusions in the Spring over the New
market course.
It is stated that 0'Brien, editor of The
United ireland, will be released from prison
in consideration of his health, provided he
quits the country.
Two Mormon missionaries attempting to
conduct service in suburb yesterday were
roughly handled by mob and obliged to
seek refuge at police headquarters.
The Mark Lane Express says: The
young plant is at present strong and
healthy, except in few districts subject to
floods. The scarcity of sound samples of
English wheat are becoming more
pronounced. and they are in some markets
Is higher Flour, firm; best makes I shil-
fortnight ago. The rise is due to slack
ing in the supply of foreign trade in other
lines. Growing produce remains similar to
that in wheat. The trade in foreign
breadstuffs in London is at least as good
| as it has been for some weeks. Wheat is
| slightly dearer. Fine grades are particu-
larly affected by the smallness of stocks.
| Red wheat is rather scarcer, and conse-
| quently in greater demand than white, but
| the trade is very small.
| DUBLIN, Jan. 2-Dawson to-day form
ally inaugurated Lord Mayor of Dublin.
The President, Secretary and Treasurer
of the Ladies League at Roscommon have
been arrested. Three ladies were arrested
at Drumollgher and were released on
| bail
| LONDON, Jan. "A D-blin correspond
ent, reviewing Irish events, says the year
closed in confusion, contention and a war
of races and classes, commercial credit is
broken, the spirit of the country is draped
in deep depression, the years trade shows
decrease of thirty per cent in imports.
| The Irish cattle trade however has i'm
proved and farmers in this branch feel
encouraged The scare produced by large
| importations of American cattle has
| abated.
VIENNA, Jan. 2.-The Presse reports
that in fight between gensdarmes and
sixty Kuvoscians, four gensdarmes were
killed and horribly mutilated. The latter
wounded number of Kuvoscians beforc
/ they were overpowered.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
SMALL pOyT

SPIfGFIELD, I'll. Jan. "A Supervisor
as tekgraphed the State Board of Health
aat I re are ten cases ofsnall pox in two
amili& at Woodlawn Onescase of vario-
Did ishlso reported from Watseka. and
me sraall pox in Rock Island. The neces-
AIRY Instructions and orders have, already
been fnrnished there, among other threat
med points, some days since.
cHIoAao. Jan. 2.-The small pox is on
the decrease. The new cases have run
down from an average of fifteen cases PEI
day during the first of December, to an
average OF four the latter part. There
have been $4,000 free vaccinaions during
December, and arrangement have beer
made for sc, 900 in January.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
PRISONER rs SANE
NHM LIVE OF DEFENCE.

WASHINGTON, Jan. Sit is understoo
that the defence in the Guiteau case wi
shortly introduce new feature in th
so-called cranks, numbering between fort
and fifty have been arrested here sine
Guiteau shot the President Most of thel
have been sent to St. Elizabeth's Insan
Asylum on physicians certificates. I'll
physicians in each case viii, it is said,
subpenaed for the purpose of comparin
those cases with Guiteau, demonstrating
if the commitments referred to were just
made, Guiteau must be likewise insane.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
DISASTERS,

SPANIk kHvILLE, o., Jan. 2.-During the
Knights of Pythias festival last evening
the floor gave way, precipitating over 200
persons TO the floor below. Tive were
killed and seventy-five injured. ten
fatally. The building took fire and the
lights were nearly all extinguished, leaving
the struggling mass almost in total dark
ness Prompt aid succeeded in staying
the flames but not until a number were
more or less burned. The night was very
cold and the scene fri ghtful in the extreme.
The chandelier III tire store room below
was broken ara the oil spilled over mum
Der Of persons, and in afew minutes five
year old child was burned to death in his
mothers arms and mother fatally burned.
Fcrtunatelv the building did not catch fire,
The storm drowned the lconfusion. The
Iiss of dead is. Mary Nef, 90 years old
skull fractured, and Milton Yoder, fatally
bt1rned; Mrs. Yoder, Mrs. Allan Geolar
and M S Annie Grin, seriously injured
Fred Sehfatch and Louis Hirseh, leg Ire
zen: Jas. Waller, arm brokeni Lzxa
i schyyaIler. collar bone broken. AugussG
bchief. Mrs Seheif and Geo. FToeiieh
lvorty.one others were more or less II
red. So. q;
E vrton saws Edward E. Ryan, mlcna
8 Ran and Richard Adkins. employed OF
fIs Paradise tunnel near here on Satu
!. da4 were buried hundred feet deep
t a slow slide. A party has started 70 7
81 cover the bodies.
i IsaAsop1Is. Jan. "A Wabash freigl
, train at crossing this morning ran IN J,
straaf car A sister of Charity IN q
street car was killed and another passe
ger had a toot taken OIL
E KESNEBUNK, Me-, Jan, 2.-As the be
n ton s. Maine Express last night nad Gro cros
! ed the bridge at Coles corner. the nrla n !,
fell prscipiIsting cars down the e.anst emoaf
it and wore destroyed. From about ]
E. passengers one man was killed and ID
i P@dd EPomndd Some sixty persons beside w
10 severels bruised. od !,
40 HAInAx. Jan. 2.-It IS rumoTed U
ne a LARGO steamer gone ash're at West'
Oh Buenos1 Nothing 6efnite can De
cd tanned s=h
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
Adnainistrator's Notice.

Estate of Andrew Schneider Deceased.
8 The undersigned, having been appointed Admins
tratTfx Of the estate of Andrew Schneider late of the
county OF Rock Island State of Illinois. deceased,
hereby give notice that she win appear before the
county Court of the county of Rock Island
at the office of the clerk OF said court, in the
city of Rock IslaTd at the February term, on the
third Monday in February mkt. at which time al
persons having claims against said Estate nofl
fed and requested to attend for the purpose OF nav
ing the same adjusted All persons indebted % saiu
Estate are requested To make Immediate te
the undersigned,
Dated this 2Sth day Of Dec. A. d. 1881.
5W FREDERIEA SCHNEIDER, Administratrix
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
CRIaINAL.

CHICAGO, JAN 2-Thomas Somerville,
a peaceably disposed Swedish man, living
on Sixteenth street was set upon tonight
by Jimmie O'Brien, who works in the
vicinity, and some friends who desired to
avenge an affront offered to O'Brien's
brother yesterday. Somerville made 8
vigorous resistance, but was finally put in
such peril from flying bricks. that he drew
a revolver, shot oBrien dead and inflicted
serious wound on Victor Disimore. Al
the parties are young men.
SHELBYvnLE, Ind, Jan. 2.-The saloon
kent by two Germans at Palestine, neal
here, was blown up by dynamite by per
sons unknown This is the second build
ing lost by these men in the past three
IN he
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03

No invalid who values health and its blessings
should risk the mass of testimony which exists
as to her ability to care apparently hopeless cases.
-Lineon fIn.) Herald.
The Doctor is adding daily to her already iliustri-
and weli-eari3ed repatston.-Peo journal.
Indeed, il all our physicians were to take the
same interest and work with the same professional
zeal Mrs. DR. Keek who gives her life. her entire
time and labor, to the grand conquest of human
disease. then would there be less aictiOn and bet
ter health at iarge.-B Bloomington Bulletin.
The lady Is herself remarkable woman. Enga-
ging in the practiceof medicine about IS years ago,
when 1t difficult for woman in any public
position TO haye her qualities recognized. to
meet tolerance. Mrs DR. Keck, by virtue of rare
merit, supported by indomitably perseverance,. has
worked heroicly and rapidly upward, until now she
stands upon eminence, professionally celebrated
socially respected, and financially solid.-Daven-
port Gazette.
Mrs. DR.. keck has shown herself TO be wonder
full woman, and her career is a wonderful one. look
at it what way yoH win.-Peoria National Democrat.
Frank, generous, and kind-bearted, she has won
the affections of all classes, and is respected and
honored not alone for her professional sttainments
but for her high qualities lady and upright citi-
zen.-Industries Of Peoria.
We speak from our knowledge. when We say
she is of the most successful practitioners. In
the treatment of diseases made speciality by her
in this coHntry---W ashington Farmer
TIE growth of her business in this city has been
- -avsd ..v .fof, -
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
MADDOG.

CHICAGO, Jan, 2.-Considerable excite
ment was oecasioned this afternoon on
North Clark street and Chicago avenue al
the appearance of a rabid Newfoundland
dog, with large piece of rope about his
neck. He bit several persons in a vicious
way and was finally dispatched by n po
lieeman's revolver. The bites upon foul
persons were cauterized at drug store
but considerable number of other persons
known to have been been bitten have moi
1.or1OrtnH
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
SUMMONED AS AN EXPERT

JACKSONVILLE, Jan. 2.-Dr. Mcfarland,
of the OAK Lawn Retreat, a private asylum
for insane, was this morning summoned as
an expert witness in the Guiteau case. He
is well Known as formerly superintendent
of the stats asylum and has been longer
in charge of such an institution than any
other man residing west of the Alleghanies
| He left fOr Washington this morning.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
On Thirty DAYS Trial .

We will send DIR. Dyes Celebrated
Electro Voltaic Belts and other Electric
Appliances on trial for thirty days to
young men and Older persons who are af-
f1ieted with nervous debility, lost vitality,
ETC., guaranteeing speedy relief and com
plete restoration of vigor and manhood.
Also for rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis,
liver and kidney difficulties, ruptures, and
many other diseases Illustrated pamph-
let sent free. Address Voitaic Belt Co.,
Marshall. Mich
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
POLITICAL.

COLUMBUS, Jan. 2-The Legislature
convened this morning by eleeting the full
number of republican caucus nominees
Secretary of State Townsend called the
house to order Hon. o. j. Hodge was
elected speaker and d. j. Edwards clerk
The senate was called to order by Lieut.
Gov Hickenlooper. r. 81. Horr was elect
ed president pro tenn and Capt }. G. Don
aldson clark. The governors annual mes
sage was submitted.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
SEW YEARS DE.

WAsarsasrGx. Jan 2.--Nw Years day hss
,as gene slly observed, the EYesley5iye els ii Get
fansion al nsslai being ard red blue and
or.san 4. .sss ere all thrown open Tropi
ea1 ,,Sa,1ts llfed the spaces between the
4 doorrsgsa I'D min entrances, and several mag
nificent fi0yal pieces adorned the rooms.
I,rho Nd rina pand played several marches
klsnd overtrres turing the reception of Mis-
Etrassas LOGAN Cameron, Jones, James,
MilIar pon1laton Pearson and Robson,
I the ladies invited to receive with the Fresi-
il .1ent The Cahinet members and wives
{ assembled in the blue room, where they
! were soon ioined by President Arthur ana
Secretary FrelinghuTsen. l ne Mih.Steliii
corps was then received. Each minister
Il was presented to tie president Ny 'hc
Secretary of State, md the minister tnsh
. presented his Secretry OF Legatlon. Inc
, following couptries were representa-
s Germany, Havti. Turkey. Japan, Sweden
and Norway Franco, Mexico, Portugal,
81 Guateanala, San Saltador, Russia, Bolivia,
ii Chilli Spain. Belqiun, Great Britain, Peru.
Venezuela. 4 austria Denmark, Brazil and
China. Chief Justice Waite and the Asso-
crate Justice were received, followed by
members of Congress and other officials,
. according to programme. The general re-
ception to pr vate seitizs rs, from one 10
two o'clock, sas large aseenueu. =
day with De9 ,la i itirg to be conducted
TO Guiteanh cell. Ms 1ei 10ss 10y ..ay
those whom he iais new w. Pc ail.ssIe
I;satinn eo,, - furisdiction the pris-
y ne,. ra,nar II n sIhc Lord had special
II ,hieet in .lrssin<, CarAeld down SO easy
1T srnn, I.,nfr Re-, mead of from Wash
y ington The prisoner = 2 .su -
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
Rheumatic Diseases.

These ailments follow from torpid liver
ad costive bowels; the skin, bowels and
kdneys failing in their proper work, an
aeid poison is formed in the blood, which
isthe occusion of these acute diseases.
KIney- Wort produces healthy action OF
al secretive organs, and throws off the
rhamatic poison. Equally efficient IN
Linid or Dry form. Inter Ocean
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
Administrators Sale.
STATE OF ILLINOIS

STATE OF ILLINOIS, nc
Rock ISLAND COUNTY, &c
In the County Court of said Rock Island County
James s. Gilmore, Administrator Of the Estate OF
Jane A. Harrison, deceased,
Robert Smith James Reed, George Gilmore, vii
liam H. Gilmore, Mary Rathburn, Sarah
fireman, John Gilmore, Hugh Gilmore
and the unknown owners of lot four "a in block
thirtyfour (S41 in the Chicago or lower addition tc
the City of Rock Island in said Rock Islane
Notice is hereby given that by virtue of an ordel
of said County Court entered in the above en-
titled suit on the nineteenth day
of December, A. D, 1881, I shall on Saturday
the fourth day of February A. ID. 1882. at the hou
of O'Clock in the afternoon, at the north door
the Court House in the City of Rock Island, in tbs
said County Of Rock Island, to satisfy said decree
sell public venue the following described parce
OF real estate situated in the county of Rock Isia
and State of Illinois. viz: Lot four "a in biocl
oihirty four (3 in the Chicago lower addition
49, + snf Rock Island.
uoc Said safe 70 be following terms viz aon h,
DuS quarter cash down at the time Of sifrn 81 ssxs4 -
It pat remainder upon credit of not less than six
=, a@7.v and not more than twelve months from the
such sale with interest at six per cent per
-ifiing note to be taken for said deferred payment
and t@srest @ with good personal security, and NOR
mn. chase money. - ''le P"' iAen' "a
Dated this 28th day of December, A. D. 1s
JAMES s. GTLMoI
rated deceased. Vi '''e Hs''l'e of 'ahe a
ectric osBoRx 8 CURT
us tn 81 Solicitors for said admin
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
Chicago Market.

CHICAGO, jan. D
Wheat-Actiye: higher, 26 cash Dec; q
January; 2S February
Cern-Strong and closing easter, 81 cash; 61la
Dec; "a asked January; 6s1s bid May; sales 6714
May.
oats-Firmer, 4s cash, Dec; 4s+s Jan and Feb.
46h May.
Rye-96c.
Barley-Nominal &c higher, 04.
Whiskey II.
Pork-Easier 16 25; sold cash 16 35 JAN; 16 90
Feb and 16 go March
Lard-weak and lower 10 90 cash; 10 971l Jan'y
II % bid Feb
LIVE STOCK.
Hogs-Receipts % 900; moderately active, light
6 1906 35; med. packing, 1905 65; heavy 625g
665.
Cattle-Reeeipts 900; markets weak for ship
pine$ good to choice 66e616; common to fair, A
S. butchers, aD3h Texans, 2 e003 s5
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
FROZEN AT ST. PAUL

ST. PAUL. Jan. 2.-The Mississippi here
was completely frozen over asst night.
Navigation stopped two weeks ago This
is the latest closing of the rive, on record
except in 1878. The river was open from
st. Paul to Galena from Feb. 90, 1877. until
Jan. 4, 1878. During the past season it
was oper from April 80 to Jan. 6
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
GIRL SHOT.

nr VERNON, ILL.,. Jan. s-A Freder
$3.50. -. seven miles north of hde yester
- - srfernoon Thomas Miller, oNrte) sho
seas .s..s sa;r, named Annie Robinsea ,infiict
= ssng 3 ) fatal wound, the girl was fossin'
sxTb;t,s 1,gSI lot on which the Robinson lamii
...sre forbidden to trespass.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
a GARD.

To all who are suffering from the errors and In
decretions OF youth nervous weakness. early decay
Ises of manhood &C.. viii send recipe that will
cure you, FKEE OF CHARGE. This grestremedy
was discovered by missionary in South America
Send self.sddressed envelope to the REV. JossdE
r. IENAE. Station y. New York City.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-01-03
nr.,rxNIka rousG.

srnrser1EIp, Jan. s.-DFlng . quaTrei 11I',
- two little childrenA named Viii
Hams and Gates, aged seven md six years
the younger of The two securs ,eso'Vel
belonging to one of the elder members o.
his family, and discharged theaweapon a
h;s little adversary, killing HIM instantly