The Evening critic., 1882-04-01
ALL FOOLS DAY.
The Jokes That are Perpetrated ON
the Uususpecting.


sswhat fools these mortais be-" wrote Avon's
bard more than n century ago. Time has not
changed the verdict of Shakespeare, and were
he TO visit the earth to-day his opinion would
remain the same. The fool OF to-day Is the
one who counterfeits folly, and not the ancient
retainer kept for the purpose OF making sport,
dret sed Enthusiastically with cap and bells. Not
he, indeed. This day, kuown as All Fools Day
throughout the Christian world, is held as
being the one day set apart when 1t becomes
sort OF religious duty to play the fool. The
nrchn HES him from his bed and sings out:
SAY mother. look at the dog in the yardl'
His mother Will drop the spoon in the buck.
wheat batter, rush to the window, and sing
out, "where Is he, Johnnie p "Aprll fooll
wash your face and go to school,"
Before he gets out OF the house he has got
the old lady crazy, and his exit out of the
back gate Is followed by lump of coal. ''say,
mister, your wheels going round, he shouts
TO the gray-haired family physcian who Is
driving peacefully by. The wondering Escu-
lapian disciple leans out OF his carriage to
zee II such Is ne fact when when his @ ear Is sSiuted SAL
light of your April fool friend consisteth In
Procuring an old beaver hat and u brick. He
pIaccth the baked clay Inside of the hat and
coolly, and with iendish chuckle, placeth IT
quietly on the sidewalk, then from safe aud
Observable distance he awaiteth the approach
warded, and tripping manly along
the street The unsuspecting citizen
perceiveth the rejected tlle he approacheth 1t
ball sports he proceedcth to kick. He kicks;
tho next thing he does he forgets his religion,
damneth. The only consolation he receives is
the hoarse laugh and cry OF "April fool"
which falls from his torturers lips as distance
Is made good between him and his victim.
Your refined joker goes TO much expense TO
fool his runaway brother. Within the yellow
canvas, which once covered consumed ham,
sawdust Will fill out the absent porcine sym
metfy OF the original occupant, and being
neatly stitched Il takes its place within gro,
with vehicles 1t Will be hastily dropped
into the street. The fool is around; he gets 1t
and discovers by its apparent lghtness that
the world is nothing but vanity and the ham
is stuffed with sawdust. Again the unsus-
pecting pedestrian perceives n silver quarter
lying ON the sidewalk; he hastens to secure
the prize, when just as his hands are about to
clutch 1t the unperceived horsehair to which
IL is attached Jerks 1t nimbly from his grasp,
while from the window or the door the merry
jokers laughingly shower in his mortified ears
"April fool" And so on from early morn to
dewy eve. Your average and sometimes over
average mortal will rack and cudgel his
brains 10 play some practical joke upon un-
suspecting humanity, for
"when we consider life It's all a cheat,
For fooled with hope men favor the deceit. -
How the senator was Taken I'm.
A good joke was perpetrated this morning
1y some humorous cuss on ono OF our Sena-
iorial statesmen. 1t seems that the humorist
got hold of a blank upon which n list OF the
public documents belonging to the members
are made out and filled 1t up. Among the
documents included was list of the
agricultural reports of Alaska for 1S19S0
The statesman was at the Senate foldlng-room
bright and early this morning with a lot OF
franked slips, and ordered all his Alaska agri-
cultural reports sent at once to his constitu-
ency. The superintendent told him there
were no such reports, whereupon the states
man adjusted his eyeglasses, pulled his list
and showed the superintendent that he had
been notified that there was.
ayes" said the superintendent, you have
forgotten that this Is the 1st of April
cts faQrt rNCtrAn Luz "A hfna lnJ
fer a moment and said: "Oh! hell" and left
for his home. He is not to be seen again to
day.
ate Committee ohAgriculture.
A Journalist Taken In.
The boys bit at the bait beautifully today
A statement was published this morning tha
the Joint Committee on the Congressional Ii
brary would place on exhibition in the room
of the Senate Committee on the Library, draw
ings Of the proposed new Library building
representatives in the House restaurant. Hal
dozen of the lunch nends appeared
They wandered around and inquire,
about the exhibition and feed, bu
could learn nothing. One young journalist M
tached to Boston afternoon paper was verl
anxious TO find out something about the mat
ter. He said that on his own account he pro
posed sending off singing dispatch showing
up the whole business as huge job. He hai
Leen requested 10 telegraph n few paragraph
for correspondents OF afternoon papers II
brooklyn ana P1ttSDurE, tnoSe gentlemen Oeln
too busy 10 visit the Capitol to-day, but the
had instructed him not to touch the librar
business, as they would send dispatches abou
the matter from up town. As fact, the Who'll
business was first of April hoax, and the ger
tlemen who worried themselves over IL wer
pretty effectually sold.
The Penny ON the Pavement.
About IL o'clock this morning a smootl
faced young man was walking along Mint
street at u rapid pace. His eagle eye, howeve
caught onto q nice, bran new onecent piec
lying on the pavement in front Of II store b
tween and streets. The young man, wi
evidently did not wish TO be seen picking up
single little, harmloes brass cent, looked car
fully around 10 see II he was observed. N
seeing any one near by, he stopped down an
fondly grabbed his prize. He didn't get ava
with It though for It was tightly fastened b
tween the bricks. In fact 1t had been nailt
there. shout of laughter rent the air as Il
embarrassed youth made his way up IL
street.
Great Changes i'm the Department
may be made within the next hundred year
but that should prevent no one from seeii
hA haan nj Ia nj