The Republican journal., 1882-07-06

The trout LIAR" said Captain Herbert,
''i5 the gem oi all fishers. lie is the
saddir-lock liar moose among ante
IopeS; Hyperion to a satyr he is the
long tailed comet among the quiet twink
Iers. All men cannot be trout liars
The trout liar must be born with pccu-
liar fitness for the task, and then he must
Ne educated to it and devote himself to
treat lies 4 lite-work. When David said
III his haste. 'All men are liars. Sau and
Ablndab, Doeg and Edmonite. had prob
ably Just returned from a trout fish down
along The brook in the Valley Elah, and
We're telling what they had seen and what
they had done, and David, as he listened
to them numbering the unarmed truth,
naturally supposed there was no more
truth left in the hearts of men in all the
wide world
The trout liar exceeds all other liars.
because tho man who has done any
amount o trout fishing is, to a certain
extent, i Travelled man. 1t is bis custom
to sit on the Veranda and tell his stories,
crushing all competition, and putting
his feet on the neck of all ordinary
striped bass and land-lockcd salmon
liars. But if il happen that Just as he
has told DIS master piece the opposition
trout liar comes in with a right bower
a genuine royal flush Of a trout lie, the
first liar is hurt to the heart he is de
jcctcd and sorrowtul and SAYS not an
other word that night But he draws
new Inspiration from defeat, and the
very next place he goes to he appropriates
the lie that paralyzed him, and, unblush-
ngly claiming it as his own, detiantly
brushes down all pltiful competition with
croWnlng lie thai only two days before
crushed him.
"There are several kinds Of trout liars
The liar OF weights, " no never catches
more than half a dozen trout day. but
they each weigh anywhere from eight to
ten pounds. Then there is the liar Of
numbers who always catches SO many
dozen in one hour and twenty eight mn
utes. And there is the liar Of places,
who knows hidden pools, dark and still,
III the secret places of the rocks, that ale
Just boiling over with trout, and he takes
You under many oaths of secrecy and Dy
stealthy and circuitous routes to these
places, and You fish III them for eight
mortal hours without a nbble
But you can never corner trout liar
Arithmetic, facts, science, probabilities,
precedent, general principles and the
eternal fitness Of things may combine in
overwhelming array to prove him the
aWtlllest liar i'll England or America it
doesn't disturb him. He lies ON, calmly,
confidently, enthusiastically, always To-
eating the scene of his lies so far away he
II pretty certain you will never 90 there
"lherc are limits to human belief"
the good Jester said, rising to his feet.
"lou may believe what the candidate
says on the stump you may believe
" "hat d man tells you in a horse trade
you may believe the army liar, and YOU
may believe the snake liar, but when
man takes his cigar from his lips, and
with a simple prefix Of a place and date,
starts IN on trout story, bar and bolt
ana lock and double lock the gates of
Your belief when he gets to the mace
Don't believe a single, solitary trout, not
though it weighs less than pound.
Under the shadow Of the trout, truth dies
and the man that fishes four days and
only hooks one lone trout, so small that
he loses it in his empty basket, comes
home the biggest liar of them all" San
Francisco Chronicle