Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1882-09-20

sho Ohhu, VIC bWO grown peISOu5l Auu Dy
degrees our conversation became most ami
mated The occasional prattlings of the
little one were noticed and spoken about
indeed, sometimes there was mutual laugh
ter at his attempts to speak.
All how light, how bell-like pure sounded
her laughter Had / never, then, heard
that before And what was the matter
with me, that sometimes bent over my
writingdesk, listening, as though heard
from a distance these same silvery tones
With the first sunny spring days, " 1t "
began to play in the garden, which could
overlook from my seat in my office. She
was generally with him. / could hear the
sound of his little feet on the pebbles, and
then her footsteps. Now she would play.
fully chase him, and a chorus of twittering
sparrows would Join in their notes with the
merry laughter. Now she would catch him
and kiss his cheek over and over. Once |
opened my window; a warm, balsamic air
streamed around me- and butterfly fut.
tered in and lit on my inkstand. just then
she came out of a green, vinegrown bower
she was dressed in a dazzling white negligee
trimmed with costly lace all over her
streamed the golden sunshine, except that
her face was overshadowed by the pink of
her parasol.
How slim she appeared how graceful in
her movements Had | been blind Truly
the aunts and cousins were right she was
in reality beautiful A sweet smile trans
formed her features; she was happy-cer
tainly in this moment she was-and her
happiness came from her child. Then a
voice made itself heard in my breast, which
said very plainly, You are monster n
I a raI t, he I.
a beautiful day." called I. | know how
cold and prosac it must have sounded 10
her. 1t came like a heavy cloud-shadow
over sunny landscape. She answered
something that | did not understand but
the brightness was gone from her little face
Then she took up the child, and kissed and
caressed him before my eyes.
There it was when the first feeling Of
jealousy was aroused in me; jealousy
truly, but what strange jealousy, which
could not make clear to itself who was its
object If at" said "mamma," there came
pain to my heart; and the caresses with
which she overwhelmed him almost drove
me wild. l was jealous of both 1t panied
me that had no part in this weaving OF
love, that l was not the third in the union
| exerted myself to gain part of their love
did it very clumsily. The child persevered
in certain shyness, and she-had | not
kept myself forcibly away from her during
these long, long years ?
One day at the dinner-table, after skirm.
ish of words, came great stiffness between
US, stiffness more painful than had ever
been. glanced down at the flowers on my
plate of Saxon porcelain, my displeasure
showing in my face but felt plainly that
at" had its eyes on me, and also her eyes
1t was as if those four eyes burned on my
forehead. Then sounded suddenly in the
stiffness Papa" and again louder and
more courageous: "Papa |" shuddered.
at" sat there and stared, now very much
frightened, over at me, wondering, perhaps,
whether storm would be raised by its
Papa" But her face was sutfused with
glowing redness, and her hslf-open lips
trembling slightly.
There came flood of gladness over my
heart. Certainly no one but her had taught
him this Papa" Why did not spring up,
bound toward her, and with one word, one
embrace, strike out the loneliness of these
mont and oil would saHe a1ens sosS SSr@ @a II 'nis mo
mained unspoken; seemed to have lost all
power to act; but on certain page of my
ledger are still traces of the tears | shed.
There was no doubt about it, another
spirit had stepped in with its little curly
head--the spirit of love; and that made me
a stranger in my own house. A precious
sunshine frightened the rooms, even when
the one in the heavens was hidden by
clouds. The faces of the servants, and
even inanimate objects, streamed back this
radiance. But me, only, the sunshine did
not touch.
felt myself always more and more un-
happy in my loneliness. Jealousy grew in
me. 1t gave me all sorts Of foolish thoughts.
| wanted to rebel against the little autocrat
that would be ridiculous. / wanted to
give her the choice between him and me.
|, audacious one, knew very well which
side her heart would choose. At another
time was ready to take steps in order to
find the mother, and with the power of
gold force her to take back her child-be-
hind my wifes back That would be cow
ardly.
could no longer fix my mind on bust
ness. | mistrusted even myself. People
asked me what was the matter with me. /
feigned illness,
The sunshine would not let itself be ban
ished, and the spirit of love was stronger
than l. With his flaming sword he drove
me out. al must take a long journey,
Martha" My voice trembled as / said this.
My wife must have noticed it, for something
like moist, shining pity trembled in her
beautiful eyes. At my taking leave, she
held the little one toward me and asked, in
soft, caressing tones, "Will you not say
adeu to our child p | took up the little
one, perhaps too roughly; at all events he
began to cry and to resist my caresses.
Then put him down and hastened away.
| travelled in uncertainty through the
world, and behold after the first few days,
in addition to my ordinary travelling COM
panion, bad humor, there came another fel-
low who told me plainly that was fool.
First it sounded like whisper, then louder
and louder: "you are downright fool"
Finally, read it in the newspaper before
me; it was traced on the blue mountains
the locomotive shrieked it to me. Yes, be.
lieved it (; why did not then and there turn
my face homeward Well, the fool must
travel it all off before everything would be
right again.
At last, one day, with violent beating of
the heart, / again entered my dwelling.
What solemn stiffness reigned there
could now hear the sound of whispering
voices my wife came toward me. at is
sick, very SICK" moaned she I" it will surely
die |" | tried to comfort her. Only short
time, however, proved that her fears were
but too well grounded. During the last
night we both sat by the little bed she
there and here, each of us holding one of
his little hands. All these feverish pulse
beats EVERY stroke sounding like an ap-
peal. Our eyes met, full and earnest through
the glittering tears, as in a first, holy vow.
Words would have seemed sacrilege then.
Not long after we laid our darling in the
warm spring earth.
When we again sat down at our table,
there was a stiffness between us but it was
not the same stiffness as that which the
little stranger had broken in upon with his
parting "Papa." Even by the wall still
stood his high armchair, and on the little
board before it lay his spoon-scepter. My
wife reached her fine, white hand over the
table, and asked, Did you also love 1t p
at least a little 2" Her voice trembled.
"My wife my sweet, my own wife !" called
|. Then ] fell at her feet and held her
hands fast in mine, 4" love thee, my wife,
oh, my wife |"
After the first emotion had subsided, |
pointed TO the armchair. "The little one
came TO teach us love-" whispered |. "And
when it had finished its teaching, it went
again to the angels" added she, through her
tears.
I.
One day the physician stepped out of my
wife's room with smiling faca He