The Republican journal., 1882-08-03

Boxing a Sewing Machine

| say, my dear" observed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
| Strengthening up and scratching his ear. ..what
dld the man say about boxing up this sewing
| machmc:"
why. he said 10 take the cover off and"
I've got the cover off," snorted Mr.. Spoop-
! INDY ke. Ibid he say take it off twice! Amt
! once binding on this machinery
. Certainly" replied Mrs. Spoopendyke :;
then you take the top off and
Did the man say anything about boxing up
this machine: That's what | asked YOU vo-
cllerated Mr.. Spoopendyke. Il know all about
the cover and top. You can't teach me aiy-
thing about the top and cover. | want some
information about this dod gastcd bird cage
looking arrangement. Did he say whether
was TO take that off of anything:"
''Ihc machine goes in that fiuttered Mrs
| Npoopendykc. And then this slat cover nails
! over it,
NOW. that's the way like to hear a woman
talk" remarked Mr. Spoopendyke betakinp
himself cheerily to his work If you'd ALWAYS
answer straight up, we'd have been moved Il
week ago
But YOU must screw the top on the bottom
OF the top and tie the cover underneath said
Mrs. >poopendy Ike. who. having been compli-
lnrnted on in detail. determined, woman like,
to know all about it.
Nv hat stable have YOU been boarding in
now" roared Spoopendyke, dropping the ham
mer on his foot. What asylum for INDECENT
lackas>cs did YOU get that scriptural quotation
on the dod gasted bottom of itself: Where's
The screw that does that? Just jerk your thumb
IN the direction of the intercOnvertible screw
That VIII screw thing on in that way
Nv by. You lust turn the top over on the bot
tom, the man said. and screw it to the top;
that"
Come over yelled Mr.. Spoopenslyke tug
ginS at the works, from which he had neglect
ed to take the thumb screw. Come over the
way the man said for you to- Here me, Come
IaI ,,f
seventy dollar ingenuity get the best of the
manufacturer when Spoopendyke's within
reach; Come over and screw on the bottom.
IKE the man said. Coming OVER" and Mr..
Spoopendykes hands slipped. landing him on
the back of his neck in the crate his wife had
purchased to box the machine in.
Never mind. dear" said Mrs. SpOOpendvke
trembling with the apprehension for the safety
OF the machine. LET the man come and do it
himself, II he knows so mach about
bod CAST the man. howled Mr. Spooprn-
dyke, springing to his feet and moving on the
works once more. Think he can creak this
lneasly old cast iron limitation of an inebriate
home any quicker'n | cam" and he grasped
The top OF the instrument and hauled away till
his eyes hung out. 'Come over to the dulcet
bottom and be screwed on. Oh, come where the
glory of being screwed to the bottom of the
Top awaits thee. Come over and see this miracle
OF plasterlnS the top and bottom of the same
thing together as performed by Spoopendyke.
the apostle of impossibilities. Come to the
dod-" But here the thumbscrew broke, driy-
ing Mr.. Spoopendyke into the closet like a spike.
where he sat holding the mutilated top in his
arms and looking dazed.
Are you hurt, dear!" asked Mrs SpooDeu-
dyke, rushing toward him.
Hurt y shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke. ''AmI
hurt. Dye see that thumb Joint hanging to that
measly screw? Wow-w-w." squeaied Mr..
Spoopenykt, dancing to his feet and dashing
the machinery into the crate. Get in there.
Qllck ~ and he tUmblp1 the Of tba i'm
IN after, where it stuck cornerwise in spite of
his efforts to drive it in with his leg. ''is this
what the man said"' and he jumped at it with
both feet. "Bottom appear to be coming any
nearer the top from where you stand?" and he
whirled the crate around and then kicked at
the corner of the machine. "Does that screw
strike you as beginning to take hold! Got a no
ton that this machinery can be moved from
here to Hackensack without scratching any
paint off the farmhouses along the road%' and
concentrating himself in one last effort, Mr..
Spoopendyke turned the crate over on the
machine and breathed hard
you've done that splenddy," cooed Mrs.
Spoopendyke. anxious to restore peace between
Mr.. Spoopendyke and the wreck of her sewing
machine 1T isn't exactly the way the man
said but | know"
"Oh, you know all about t." howled Mr..
Spoopendyke IF could build front door
and a veranda to your information. I'd stand
you IN a tub of salt water, ard start a summer
resort! On, you're posted on what to do! you
understand mechanics! Some day I'll fit you out
with price list and strike, and start a rolling
mill" and Mr.. Spoopendyke went for his hat
and tore out of the room.
ITS pretty well scratched. but otherwise it's
all right" commented Mrs. SpoOpendyke eX-
amining the wreck. ''And I'll get the man to
box it. | think I'll put this bottle of ink in
his light coat pocket. He'll want it as soon as
he gets out there and he'll find it as soon as he
sits down."