Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16

VI the endless bliss it NAV
FIND In Lands of Where Away!
- ~. Riley, in Indianapolis Journal.
HOW ALUMINIUM WON THE GRAND
PRIX.
VI course / must take the reader into my
confidence in this affair now, or forever at
terward hold my peace about the matter.
Let me trust that it will not go any further,
rs what am going to disclose is a secret Of
the French turf, and unknown to any of the
knowing ones" of the French capital,
whose name is 'legion," and consequently
should be kept strictly entire nous.
, Let me begin at the beginning. so that
the leopard could change his spots 20
sighed to myself as 1 took my usual four
O'Clock walk along the Avenue DIES Acacias.
The vernal sun that causes the violet and
the snow.drop to blossom had also brought
out the traces OF the entire winters table
accidents on the only frockcoat possessed.
The sun and the dust are bad enough; but
then there are the April showers, which
often extend far into the month Of May, and
1t would often seem that the much abused
clerk of the weather becomes confused even
in the leafy month of June, and turns on
the April tap. All the forces of reviving
nature in spring-time seem combined to
crush the fmpecunious man of modern times
i mean the man of the world-and awaken
Hill 10 sense OF shame ana f1Qlcufo after
an expensive winter of folly and fashion.
Only yesterday / was standing on the
curb-stone, and the beautiful, refreshing
rain came down in sheets, "a the fascinating
Comtesse De x. sailed past in her gorgeous
landau. / was constrained to suddenly
open nv neatly folded umbrella, displaying
two woful rents in the same that had hith-
ertO escaped my vigilance. l have tried
sleeping upon my unmentiOnables, but it
fails to renovate them as to certain 'bag-
eytr hn NH oh
my tailors, Messrs. Schneider and Clipper
tape assured me could never occur in trous-
ers of their "build," generally acknowl-
edged TO he the Knee plus ultra Of fashion.
Perhaps have lost flesh, too. 1t is unfor
tLG.te hat my social position requires that
L should keep up appearances.
1endeavoredto obtain arrangement at the
Musee Grevin to pass as waxwork figure.
i thought that in this way 1 might get lit
tie rest, and at the same time be making
some of the "needful.' The manager
damped my hopes on this score, however.
He said that while fully admiring my dis
tingue appearance and aristocratic bearing,
the resemblance / bore to any celebrity. past
or present. was not sufficiently striking to
warrant his placing any niche at my dispo-
sal. Thus, gentle reader, appearances are
against my waxing great in this line. Are
great men aftodys insignitcant-looki
Hemi
Since that time I have been living on eX-
peetations and invitations to dine out,
chiefly the latter. When / see the nOu-
redur riches, and people who have more
money than they know what to do with and
nothing in particular to ''keep up,' except,
perhaps, a reputation for being easily sold,
it makes my heart ache. l don't mean to
saw that 1 am envious; but merely that |
should like to be in their shoes for a while,
especially as their heels are usually quite
correct, and are not worn off at the back,
mine are. Should this go on much longer,
I shall soon have to show a clean pair of
heels; not from any motives OF fear, but
from sheer inability to cover them. Indeed,
often feel that il expectations do not IRE
suit" soon, / shall be Obliged to take to my
bed on account of my linen, or rather on &C
count of a plentiful lack Of it. i had thought
of borrowings; but one naturally feels sort
of pride or reserve that makes it difhcult to
postuIate for trifies when one already owes
a few years. arrears. / have friend, how
ever, from whom / might borrow, but
never could. This arose from simple i'm
pecuufosfty.e He is great genius, however.
and was evidently destined to make his
mark in the world, as the reader will prob
ably learn before he finishes this veracous
narrative. / once asked Joe CHATS my
friends name, Joe Hook; he is, of course,
an American, from the State Orwell, the
other States might be enviOus of such a ge-
MUS, so 1 won't say where he halls from)-
/ once asked Joe for louis. hoping that this
request might elicit smaller sum; but he
only folded me in his arms in warm en-
brace
affected him as much had 1 at the time
asked him fairly and squarey for dollar Is
a question I have not been able to solve.
can assure the indulgent reader, however,
that as a point of honor, have never asked
anything soul for less than louis. felt,
come when to passively permit my
self to be strangled by the octopus
PERJURY, without a last frantic effort for
freedom, wouldbe unworthy of the great
future I felt was in store for me. L had
heen promised an ushership, with free ac-
cess TO the refreshment-r room, by the
"Shoddv Ladies' Committee" at the great
fair that was shortly to be given for the
benefit of disappointed office-seekers.
must tell YOU that my friend Joe was an
artist as we'll as q great inventor. SO COM
muned thus with myself: "Joe is an artist,
and it is almost within the bounds of posi-
bility that he has sold q picture. There are
a few fools left in the world YETI On this
faint hope / RECALLED myself. But, alas
moor Joe was far ahead OF this century-too
TAR, perhaps--yet his genius was startling:
He painted canvas for the Salon, and
brought it before the approving committee.
at first the work set forth glowing sunset
upon a placid summer sea; but the commit
fee whose duty il was TO approve did not
view the sunset in the proper light, and dis
approved. He, nothing daunted, then in
yerted the picture before their very eyes,
turning it upside down, when 10! 1t was
now seen to represent the red sands of the
sahara Desert under a sky of ardent blue.
This miracle-may l not call it so?-he had
wrought to prove to these prejudicei and
IGNORANT individuals what an unduly born
genius of the twentieth century could do.
1t was with certain vague feeling OF
apprehension not unmingled with melan-
eholy that l rapped on Joe's door on the
beauti nj morning of the LIST of June, 1882.
NV summons was 1t last answered, but
was not adpaitted at once. Joe opened the