National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-02-25
FUN, FACT, FICTION.

- ,
Last summer the English dog-cart was fashionable;
this winter 1t is the English oscar.
The tailor measures his customers whenever he
he takes ht.-Betron Sundny-Schooi 0dscte.
:" There's music in the heir" sorrowfuiiy said tho
young husband, he reached for the paregorIc
bottle.
Never go into newspaper Office to shoot the editor
1T you do, you had better take your coffin along.
Detroit CngB.
The late Governor Blue Jeans Williams, Of IndL
ana, is to have granite monument y feet incha
high TO cost 1900
on the Goth instant Archbishop Purcell will be
eghty-,wo years old, and his friends In Cincinnati
Will celebrate the event.
Ex.Secretary Blaine is to attend the banquet ofth,
Knights of st. Patrick in st. Louis st. Patrloki
Day and respond TO a toast
A party fsan Juan ranchers made a bonfire of an
Apache Indian, and the coronor's jury returned
verdict of" overcome by the heat"
IT," says Hans Won Bulow 81 stop practlcing ont
day, notice difference; If stop two Gays my
friends notice It, and If Istop three days, the public
notice It,"
A Wisconsin man, while setting up huggng his girl
received telegram stating that he had fallen heir u
fortune See what man gets for being goneroui
with his huggng?
An Iowa girl busked fifly-one bushels of corn ai
ono sitting, and the Philadelphia Ne10s meanly saysI
1T Is astonishing how much husking n girl can gel
through with when searching Tor red ears"
One THE gallery gods writes to a New York paper
complaining of the admission to the gallery Of Wal
lacks of n man who wore dress coat. Perhaps
poor waiter who had no other garment
horse which being shipped from Boston Ia
Chlcopec. Mass, slipped It's halter, managed to open
the car door, and jumped OF the train. The buyer
has learned that the animal returned to Boston and
Its old MASTER
California paper says that wild geese Swarm
like bees" around washoe Lake, Nevada, The
n n a. hp
knocked three fat old ganders out ofa flock that was
flying across the track.
We are going to Arkansas and start paper. call
lnglt Quinne and Whisky Everybody will take it,
Modern A,Do. Better call It Fever and ADus, for
people take that first-SomerUfue Journal. Correcti
ShaSe- Ydigco6 Strauss
Parham Adams, student of the University Ten
nessee, from Brownsville, is in critical condition.
He smoked forty cigarettes wager, lnhallng tho
smoke. lie is fourteen years old and is not expected
TO live. Served him right.
Cincinnati plumber has has been scared, but Il
took an alligator to doit The plumber was at work
under the Exposition building floor. when u the e
foot alligator that had been len from show
came along and stirred him up.
A hornets nest is said 10 be the best polisher IN
the world for glass lenses. But you want to do your
polishing when the hornet Is not around 10 holp you
For what shall 1t profit man If he polish thousand
glass lenses In day and one hornet catch him at
Waiter" Isn't that pleasant wineH" Guest" II
Watcr-"I should smile. May be tie boss didn't
have time getting 1t up to tho right color. He had
TO ransack all the drugstores I'm town."-TerdS $40
tnDs.
The father of Harvard College student having
had is nocl boo contnInIng shn1 returpe,l IN hI,r
by honest conductor, who had found II In his street
car took the conductor to q Boston savings bank,
and deposited the $500 his credit subject his or
der one year hence.
"IIow are Won and your wife coming on pu askeda
gGCst..
or hos y "Wbot,s the matter ~ aria 10 blame
boss aove her A SPLENDID white silk dress and dem
she got so proud she had no use for me She lowed
7 was too darl, 10 match de dress.n
"Tnm n clerk I'm country store and would like IA
he an actor. What would Won advice me TO doPn WI
wonId "adyiee " Won TO stay behind the counter II
Won insist on being nm ACTOR the literary and or
iboprnpbca labor of writing puf of Yourself for tbs
press viii wear your young life away
,,,.. r. ,yoi,,, ,,,J ., p,,.,,,o.,, oo,,o. - -,
,., ,i,o oras,ion "Doos ,ha hoo aro., ." w..
NOT pTenared TO answer as completely as We would
like Int Judging by the remarks of felowswho hays
hoan uont all niob with tho bovs - we should In,nein.
tbat the head does grow-sometmes 10 alarming pro,
nortions
.,,, ,., % ,ht, o,, ,,,o. ,ooo,,, ,,ta l..
,a '",her no conH,,no and r,ss,n, no, I,,,on
~ ~, 49, - saIa ,,o r'o,hor :. ,,n 49, issa1
m"y m"s, I S a. we r''',as , % 1851
II, G,o years "Don,t voul,no,v ,yhv IA rather iii
tho Kitten ihan Won. mother 81 mo. NV cbildN
avon haven't rot wbiskersU
-,.., ~. -. :. -, 49,. -, - -.
a !ouns 'AuS r.' Is ~ le. eap ~. 800
nus ~ ~ M ~, 'n,e ~
10 VIII NM mus .ens re- W pe ,
eonhuanIs wnen Que o. sin,'io o ooa
th.se WOius' Nevei n'aN, y ''nSoii,o $500
s ~ ,or v hor ,,te brother lint shn wants
That, rcpneu ner Ntle protucIt ouN oho wanna
whale"
A man in Atlanta saw mirage at night city
pictured the heavens the buildings appearing 10 Id