The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-07
WIT AND HUM0R.

1t is terrible come-down for a man
TO fall out Of balloon and be obliged to
walk home.
Nantucket has girl pilot only II
years old. Knows all the buoys in tho
sound, you can bet.
John, what is that scar on your
chimp" That scar? Oh that's relic
of barberism,"
Julia Ward Howe says women do not
fall in love any more. Perhaps not, but
they continue to have all the symptoms.
1T is always summer somewhere"
remarks the New Orleans Picdyu'le.
Let US 90 somewhere next winter.
Ithas been discovered that the United
States relations with Egypt are very
distant. A careful computation places
them at 1000 miles.
Next we shall have n coat-tail hirta-
ton code. Having the coat-tai covered
with mud will mean; Il don't like her
father"
They tell me you have had some
money left you" said Brown. Yes"
replied Fogg, sadly, lit left me long
ago.
Jones, why do you send your wash
to Chinaman?N Jones--"I don't"
you don'tP' Jones-''No; he comes
and gets it.
Princess Beatrice now manages the
royal establishment at all the palaces,
and will not marry anybody. Next
thing you know that woman will buy a
cat.
A girl who sets out to- look graceful
in hammock has as much work on
hand as the man who tries to be langud,
with a saw-log following him down a
hill
Hans Won Bulow. the pianist, is
going to marry woman named Maria
Amalia Katharine Josepha Schauzer.
When she adds Won Buow she will
have q real seven-octave name.
A Denver Chinaman, who has gone
into the ice cream business recently, has
the following sign near the door: "You
catch 'em foezy belly two bttee all
same Sian Flancisco."
Calino's wife goes out to work The
other day, as she reproached him for
getting up so late, he replied; "Ah,
madam | sleep very slowly, and need
in consequence much more time to re-
pose than you.
Fogg asserted the other evening that
he knew woman who never appended
a postscript to letter. Everybody was
astonished until he informed the COM
pany that the woman he referred to
didn't know how to write.
A desperate man in Bloomington, ILL.,,
advertises for "a cook, good or bad,
with or without recommendations, to
remain for life or only few months"
He further comedies that "the family
will be docile and obedient.n
what ails youP" asked Jones of q
VIGOROUSLY poor actorwhom he met the
other day; you look ILL.," $50 | am
The doctor says my liver don't act. ="
Remarkable likeness between you and
your llVcr, Stld Jones.
At n restaurant on a Virginia rail
rood a traveller threw piece of pie out
of the window and had to pay $500 for
breaking three ribs of a boy. He didn't
know it was loaded, but they wouldn't
take that excuse.
Two Rochester madens, enjoying Sill
yer lake, telegraphed their father;
"Come and bring Bess." He came and
with him several kegs of pale Bohemian
lager. The telegram read "bccr' in
stead of Bess. The mistake was taken
in, of course.
Judge, severely How do you know
the defendant Is n married man? Were
you ever at his housep mo, sir"
did any body ever tell you they were
married. mo, sir; but when | soc n
man and woman come to the same
church regularly for three years, occupy
the same pew, and have hymn-book
apiece to sing out of, ] don't want to
see no marriage certificate can swear