Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-08-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

IL THE morning man gets up. but
Gazette.
You can put "ten million oysters,
when they are only two days old, into
four. quart pail filed with water" We
believe this because we saw it in
newspaper, and we suppose if you took
out about pint of water you could get
ill about thirty million more oysters.
elbows your rheumatism, Bill ?"
"Oh, it's lots better" "Ah, ha glad
to hear it." eyes" Bill went on,
mournfully, "you may say it's lots
better; it gets stronger every day. But
then I'm heap worse, myself. The
rheumatism's all right"
ONE of the British officers in the fleet
at Alexandria boarded the American
navy the other day, mistaking it for the
steam launch that had been ordered to
go ashore for some fresh meat. The
officer apologized in the most gentle
manly manner when he discovered his
mistake.
THE cyclone stricken west is a safe
place, in the matter of accidents, as
compared with Pennsylvania. That is
now the most accidental State in the
Union. Only last week, three candidates
for governor appeared merely by
accident" in thirty-seven towns and
when last heard from were headed for
three others on accidental special
trains that just happened to be going
thatsway.
THE process of making imported
Havana cigars, as practiced In Con-
necticut, was exhibited in court the
other day. The heart is first taken out
of the cabbage, and the rest of the head
is then sliced on slaugh cutter, and
spread on the roof to dry. When about
half dried, it is twisted into long rope.
This rope is cut into cigar lengths and
these pieces are wrapped in tobacco
leaf, when it can be procured, and
when it is scarce, brown paper Is sub
stituted. A red paper collar is then
pasted around this thing and it is sold
for ten cents straight or six for fifty.
HAwKEYE DOTS.
IT isn't only the Suez Canal England
is after now; she wants to provide for
the free navigation of Arabi Bey. Pasha.
He isn't Bey. though. There goes
another joke borne down by abhorrent
forces.
A WILMINGTON, North Carolina, man
seventy years old, was shot and killed
the other night while robbing a hen
roost. A man of that age ought to
know that it is much safer to beat the
grocer than it is to steal the chicken.
All, here, now; you may talk about
the west all you please. but there were
more people killed in New England on
the Fourth of July with toy pistols,
than have been killed by cyclones IN
Iowa during the past three weeks.
JOHN S. MARTIN, of South Hampton,
suffered for seventeen years with fearful
pains in the back and legs. He tried
everything, but nothing afforded him
any relief until he bought bottle OF
Saint Belzebub's ointment and rubbed
that on. That killed him, and his back
and legs haven't troubled him since.
GAN American" says the st. Louis
Republican, in an article on native
politeness, ''may not be so elegant at q
dinner party, but he will not ride half a
day in a railway Car without speaking to
the fellow passenger at his elbow, as the
the EngIishman will" No, indeed he
will not; fore George he will not. How
often, oh, how often, have we wished
that he would. But he won't. He will
pounce upon a stranger whom he has
never seen before in all his life, and talk
him deaf, dumb and blind in fifty miles.
Catch an American holding his mouth
shut when he has a chance to talk TO
some man who doesn't want to he
talked to.
HAPPY LOVE.