The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-04-07
An Improved Congressional Record.
Max Adeler In Our Continent.

| "d1 hattcf I" DuF NONtHciu
If Congress resolves to act upon the sug.
gestion made by Senator Miller that the
Congressional Record be issued as a weekly
and sent to every family in the country some
modification should be made in the contents
Of the Record. The paper is much too heavy
and dismal In Its present condition to be
welcomed In the ordinary American house
hold. Perhaps 1t might have puzzle de-
partment, and If so, one of the first puzzles
could take the shape of an inquiry how it
happens that so many Congressman get rich
on 5000 year. The department Of An
swers To Correspondents could De enriched
with references TO letters from office-seek"rs,
and the department Of Household Economy
could contain explanations of how the menu
bers frank their shirts home through the
postofiice so as to get them in the family
wash. As for the general contents, descrb-
| ing the business proceedings In che Senate
and House, we recommend that they should
be put into the form of verse. We should
treat them, say, something in this fashion
Mr.. Hill
introduced "a bill
To give John Smith pension.
Mr.. Bayard
Talked himself tired,
But said nothing worthy of mention.
This would be suc:inct, musical and in
degree impressive. The youngest readers
could grasp the meaning of it and it could
easily be committed to memory. Or a scene
In the House might be depicted In such terms
as these:
A very able speech was made by Cox of Min
nesoia
Respecting the necessity of protecting the |
black voter.
Twas Indignantly responded to by Smith
Of Alabama,
Whose abominable talk was silenced by the
Speakers hammer.
Then Atkinson of Kansas rose to make an
explanation,
But was pulled down by a colleague in
state of indignation.
Aud Mr.. Alexander, in a speech about in
surance,
iy past endurance.
After which Judge Whitaker denounced the
reciprocity
Treaty with Hawaii as scandalous mon
strosity.
Il would be advisable, of course, to vary
The meter as moch as possible In order 10
prevent the monotony which would other
wise dull! the interest Of the reader.
After giving the proceedings In the House
IS above, something Of more spirited ma
lure, perhaps, could be inserted into the
Senate reports. Suppose, for example, the
pages devoted to the Senate should lead of
with something Of this kind
Then up rose Smith of Florida, the best of
the debaters,
And spoke about his measure for protecting
alligators;
He showed how tourists shoot at them with
out regard for reason,
And asked to have 1t made crime to kill
them out Of season.
rher Brown he moved amendment by in
sertlng brief clause Ii
aligators not to operate their
jaws;
But Smith be up and said of him who thought ,
the subject comical,
That Nature, when she gave him sense, had !,
been too economical.
And Brown, responding briefly, wished to
say In this connection,
That Smith in guarding reptiles had an eye |
TO self-protection. Ii
Then Smith he flung volume Of the Message
and Reports,
And Brown was laid upon the door a good
deal out of sorts.
Ofcoune verslfcation Of the Congressioa
u Record would require the services of .
poet laureate Of rather unusual powers. II
Congress shall accept seriously the sugges-
ions which we make with an earnest desire
o promote the public interest, we shall ven
ure 70 recommend the selection Of the ,
sweet Singer Of Michigan Is the first occu-
,ant Of the laureates Office.
4#8 F |