Middletown transcript., 1882-01-27
THE BACHELoR's CONFESSION.
BY HELEN FOREST GRAVES.


1 live in a French fiat. Of course
there are objections to French fats.
So there are to most things. l can't
afford a hotel, and detest boarding
house. A bachelor of 80 odd, who has
been at the mercy of clearinghouse
keepers all his days, can easily under
stand that.
So, when l engaged a suite Of rooms
third floor in French fiat edifice-
and arranged my household goods there
in, with a fine lookout over a green dot
Of park in front, and the glimmer Of
palisade far in the rear above a forest
of shipping, considered myself well
off.
What is my profession ? 1 haven't
any in particular. I'm an artist, and
draw a little daily, in front Of my
easel, l contribute to the press, and
write when the divine afiatus seizes
me. read the law when feel like it,
and draw little income from snug
little property left me by an uncle in
India. Consequently | was able to dec
crate my new quarters very prettily
with Bagdad rugs, old China dragons,
black and gold japanese screens, and
pictures had picked up at bargain.
And when the fire was burning cheer
fully in the CRATE, the first rainy May
evening, the student lamp shining soft
ly on the red, carved table, and the
waiter from a neighboring restaurant
had brought in my frugal dinner Of a
broiled bird, a mold of currant jelly, a
slice of roast beef, and a raspberry
dumping, I considered myself pretty
comfortable.
"Upon the WHOLE" says 1 to myself,
II rather approve of French fiats.'
| rang the bell. The janitor-a re-
spectful, decent sort of a fellow, in a
round jacket and carpet slippers-an-
swered the summons.
Janitor, - said 1, "who occupies the
floor above ?''
Nobody, SIR" the man answered.
Last party moved out yesterday.
New party moves in tomorrow.
A large family ?" said 1, rather
obviously.
"Bless your heart, sir,'' said the
man, mo family at all-single lady,
sir ~
At this 1 congratulated myself more
and more.
II shall have prospect Of little
peace now, think, " said 1 and 1 ate
my dinner in a FOOLS paradise of hap
piness.
The single lady moved in on the NOR
row. She must have moved in when 1
was down town selecting some new
mill-boards and color-tubes for the
summer sketches 1 intended to make,
for when returned, fondly expecting
once more to enter into my kingdom Of
peace and serenity, everything was
changed.
There was banging and pounding
over head, humping and hammering
"a sound as if some middle-aged giant
ess in hob-nailed shoes was enjoying
herself in a promenade. 1 sent for the
janitor in rage.
"Is the house coming down ?" said l.
"It's the new tenant a movin' in,
sir" said he, apologetically.
''Does her furniture consist entirely
Of Herring's safes and square pianos ~
said 1.
There is two pianos, sir, ," said he.
She's musical"
"The deuce she is, (" roared 1. 1.-TWO
pianos! And does she play on 'em
both ?''
Don't know, sir, Pm sure,'' said
the man, with distressed expression
OF cOuntenance.
L endured the noise until midnight,
and then I sent up the janitor's wife.
The third floors compliments to the
fourth floor, and would like to know if
this sort of thing is to go on all night?"
Down came the woman again.
Fourth floors compliments to the
third floor, and wishes to know if he
expects people to get settled without
noise 20
The next day the piano-only one,
however-commenced. 1 was elabor-
ating skeleton for scientific essay,
and it disturbed me seriously. 1 en-
dured it as long as possibly could, and
then | had recourse once more to the
janitor's wife.
Third floors compliments to the
fourth floor, and will feel obliged if
she will favor me with little peace
and OUietnaSS lono nnorIph fo do conoo