The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-05-09
Stories About Mules.
ONE THAT WOULD SHAKE A PEAR-TREE AM
ANOTHER THAT PLAYED SOLDIER.


"A mule is a ambitious critter when she
gifts her meddlin' up" remarked old Jerry
Greening yesterday afternoon as he came
in to have one Of his mules shod. As il
was nearly dark the old man walked over
10 Asher's to get ga leetle suthin' t keep
cut tn maary," and as he found Judge
Ridgway there he repeated the assertion.
"A mule is ambitious critter when she
gifts her meddlin' up. tell We I've see Il
good many kinds o. mules, hey. I've see
| five-legged ones, four-legged ones, three
legged ones, an quite few two-legged
ones; but of all the pesky, dum-busted
mules ever | see hev got tn wust. She
kin kick higher an quicker, eat more, bite
more yiciouser, an smash more things in
less time then emmy mule atween Canady
an tn Gull o. Mickey. She's over t tn
blacksmith-shop now gittin' shOd, an ei
tibet thar blacksmith amt bright an
shinin' little angel afore he gifts done D.
shoein' OF her I won't he her fault. Wall,
sir is a fac tibet when we want a Maple
tree r pear-tree shook we jest git out OF
Betz an turn her round an let her kick
twicet agin tn trunk o. the tree, an by
hockey she kicks so pesky hard tibet tn
tree is alters shook Jest . clean
eI We u ltcu inltt inth up
int a-shakin' the limbs. An ez a ac'rate
kicker she were a immense success. Sine
hez stood still an kicked a fly often tn
edge O champagne glass, an though she
killed tn poor fly deader'n a last-year's
tater-bug she never teched nor spilled tb'
frail glass. She hez done tibet not only
oncet, but three times in secession, an |
know what Pm a-talkin' about, cause |
Il oil a~ull
nough e know that | wouldn't lie for love
nor money.
"Bitey Wall, should bust z mutter g!
she couldn't bite. She were ca good on
tn bite ez she were on tn kick Why,
I've see thet thar OF mule 'Betz,' when
she were in hurry Z cit inter tn stable,
Pve seen her take an bite tn inch an u
quarter iron hasp tibet holds tn stable door
shet. Pve see her bite I square in two
with Ter teeth an then pull tn door open
an walk inter tn stable ez cool ez We
please, Jest ez il she was alters in tn habit
o. dom thet way. We usety hev turri-
BILE time 4 keep her tied in tn stable. Fust
we tried a chain, but she'd bite tibet right
in two. Ropes an leather wasn't o no
count, so how dye think we worked tn
scheme Z tie her? Wall. Z were my own
idee an t were tn best idee tibet ever
come Z me. We done t in this way: i
got good. tough hunk o tarred rope an
we tied Miss Mule into tn stable by her
tail. We see, made tn tie strap so short
she couldn't reach round fer Z bite u of
am then we he'd her fast.
"But, speakin o. mules minds me o. a
mule that Saunder Ennises OF Uncle
YOsefos usety own when | were Il boy.
- IL l,.,
IDENTICAL animal Gineral Washington rode
tn battle o Bull Run, cause tn OF man
Yosefos he'd tn ANIMALS verdigris (pedi-
gree] down in black an white am they
was no denyin' o. sich fac's ez them. Wall,
this yere mule o. OF Yosefos' were tn
boss jumper George Washington hisself
taught il t jump when he were a boy an
usety ride tn OF mule am jump fences Z
meet tn boys that was agoin' 10 rob tn
neighbors' melon patches. At tn time |
seen that mule last she were hundred am
twenty-nine years OF an she could Jump
n ten-bar gate ez easy almost ez kin do t,
an We all o. We know Pm ripper on tn
lump, shoot an chaw. Why, Pve see that
OF mule that b'longed Z OF Yosefos take
an Jump across tn Sawkill creek whar lis
twenty-five foot wide, an then OF Ioseios
he said she were OF an out o practlce, an
he act'ly pologized for her havin' not
jumped furder nor she did.
"OP Martin Dewire, him ez lived down
Z Fiddler's Elbow, he usety hev mule ez
only he'd three legs, two forrard ones an
only one hind one. O'course she weren't
o. much count 'ceptin, ez hossback
animal fer women, till fin'lly one day OF
Martin he he'd a wood leg made fer tn
mule an then she were IS good 3 a new
critter. Act'ly tibet mule could do any
tink with tibet air wooden leg, an OF
Martin he teached her all sorts o. tricks.
He'd say shoulder arms !! an OF Nance
'ud up an hist that wooden leg o. hern
In th' air an march round iests good a
sojer. Then he usety tie rag onto tn
end O. tn leg am OF Nance she'd beat time
onto bass drum with tibet leg-pomder
while OF Martin he played tn cornet-horn
an his son Job played th' fiddle. "-Phitd-
delphia Times.