San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-11-02
Mnntcd a Job.

Yesterday man came into the
Boomerang office with the air of u man
who is tired of this earth and wants TO
wing his way to a land of forgetful-
ness and plunge into the Lothian depths
of oblivion. After he had taken seat
on the tete-a-tete and hung his hat on
the escritoire, he said:
I'm a newspaper man myself.
Didn't know but you might want n
good man on the staif-somebody TO
write up the sad features of life and
furnish the fearful wall ms it were.
Life is full of woe, and in my estima-
ton every paper should have woe
editor. | am well fitted for that posi-
ton, as you will see if l may be al
lowed to go on and detail my expert
ence to you. @ jH..
Il went into Kansas and started a
paper in small town on the Santa
Fe road, with the assurance that l
would meet with the cordial aid and
sympathy of the people there. / did
not expect TODD a big business, but |
just wanted to run a little modest
sheet. The first week my paper didn't
get there, and 1 had to print that issue
ON some paper bags that / got from
our leading grocer. This was an ad-
vantage, because his ad. was already
printed on the first page, and it saved
the wear and tear Of display type.
Still the paper looked meager and did
not attract the attention that l had
hoped for. 1t did not influence the
administration nor boom up the town
as | had anticipated.
THE next week | wrote up little
social party and gave the name of a
young man who was drunk and frolic-
some and shot out all the lights. He
also shot an old man who was calling
off the dance.
Il thought the press ought tosbe
fearless and outspoken if the occasion
required, and 1 wrote it up carefully
and, as l thought, fairly, but the young
man came around the next day and
convinced me that I was wrong. l
was writing a scathing article on ag-
Mysticism when he came in and
knocked me under the job press with
a chair. l didn't know him at all and
thought it was rather eccentric for a
total stranger, so when l got up again
l told him so. Then he jammed me
into the wood-box and poured key of
ink and can of coal oil on me before
I could have any understanding with
him.
"Then he went away.
"That evening he came with some
friends and bought the good will of
the establishment, and the whole Of
flee and subscription list of me. He
had the advantage of me, and bought
it low. l felt that I was making
sacrifice, but 1 was afraid l might not
have another opportunity to sell, SO l
sold. The price, of course, was NOM
inal, but the inducements held out
were not to be ignored.
"Since then 1 have started three pa
pers and have had three large and
hotly-contested fights. My collar bone
has been broken in two places, and
my doctor bills have always been big
ger than the other expenses of the Of
flee. The dentist has been pulling
teeth out Of my palate ever since 1
went into the newspaper business. AS
soon as 1 got SO I could see with both
eyes one of them has been closed up
on me, and my nose has at different
times pointed around all over my face.
What I want now is chance to
work on some paper in cog., as [ might
say, and where I will be myself. l
can take most any current event and
tinge it with sadness. l can give an
air of hopeless melancholy to the oc-
currences of everyday life that will
make your paper known all over the
world. l will admit that this is an
innovation in journalism, perhaps,
but it will take, think, and l know
that if 1 can succeed in imbuing into
my work that settled air of gloom that
1 feel, your paper will win for itself in
short time the name of being the
most CHASTITY record of disappointment
and grief-stricken, horror-soaked Ne
morse in the known world"
The manager sobbed few times,
and then said, while his voice was
choked with emotion, that the Opaque
gloom department was ably filled at
present; and the stranger went out
into the cold, hard, unsympathizing
outer world, taking with him his
leaden burden of woe and silk UNI
brella that stood in the hall.-Nye's
RoO1uer0,l0