davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12
How Uncle IsOm Played Practical Joke
on a Snowman.

The other day show came to Little
Rock and was shamefully imposed upon
by Uncle Isom. While standing near
the tent he saw crowd of low-spirited
boys grieving on account of financial de-
preston.
"Does yer youngsters wanter get inter
der show?" he asked.
The boys responded in noisy chorus.
"Well. come on, den. Iuster be Il chile
myself, an unlike de mos OBJ men, 1
hain't forgot hit. Count desc boys" he
added, addressing the doorkeeper. The
man began counting, and by the time
the boys had passed in, Isom was walk
ing around, talking to acquaintance
from the plantations.
"Here," said the Snowman, "give me
twenty tickets"
"What for? Does yer think me lot
terry agent?"
"You passed in twenty boys and I
want the tickets or the money"
81 doan' owe yer no tickets, an 1
doan' owe yer no money. 1 didn't tell
yer ter pass de boys in, said count 'em.
Use always heerd dat showmen is good
in rithmatic, an wanted ter satisfy my.
self. Yer say dat Oar was twenty BOYS.
I doan' 'spute yer word, case hain't no
mathertician. Sposen L take lot OBJ
boys ter de cashier oh bank and ak
him ter count 'em, does dat signify dat
de cashier is gwine ter pass 'em inter de
money room? No, sab. Go on back ter
yer tent, fer sees crowd goin' in"
The Snowman, remembering that he
had left the entrance unguarded, turned,
when Isom walked away with an agility
rarely exhibited by an old man.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

Beside those tabulated above, the fol-
lowing-named diseases were reported
each by one regular observer Cholera
infantum, typhoid pneumonia, dyspep-
STA, chorea and chicken-pox.
For the week ending April %, 1882,
the reports indicate that cerebro-spinal
meningitis, dysentery, bronchitis, erysip-
elias and pneumonia decreased in area
of prevalence. There was no marked
of any disease reported.
At the State Capitol, the prevailing
winds were northeast the average tenn
perature was lower, average absolute
and average relative humidity and the
average day and night ozone were
less, during week ending April 20, than
for the preceding week.
Including reports by regular OBJ
servers and by others, diphtheria was
reported present during the week end
ing April 30, and since, at 20 places,
scarlet fever at IL places, measles at IL
places and smallpox Mt places, as fol-
lows At PlainwelI, Allegan county,
April "a: in Big Prairie township, Ne
waygo county, April 26; in Everett
township, Newaygo county, April %;
at Detroit and Flint, April 20; at Manis-
tee, April 30; at Grand Rapids Zone
new case), May A; and it is unofficially
reported there are, on May 4, two new
cases of smallpox at Menominee.
HENRY b. BAKER, Secretary.
LANSING. May 5, 1882.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

A wELL-KNowN gentleman OF Wash
ington called at the Chinese Embassy
and requested of the Minister the priv
ilege of bringing two or three friends to
call The Minister was somewhat en-
barrassed at the request, as it was not
exactly III accordance with his ideas OF
etiquette, but Oriental politeness for
babe refusal. The next night, to his
great dismay, the enterprising American
invaded the mansion with delegation of
thirty-odd sightseers, of whom the ma
iority were ladies. 1t was soon evident
that they came to spend the evening.
The wife of the Minister was up stairs
and not mixing in society, according to
Chinese law and custom, and she could
not make her appearance. The Minis
ter, unable to speak word OF English,
did the best he could to entertain his
unexpected visitors by the aid of his in
terpreter, set refreshments before them,
and permitted himself 10 be gazed at
until curiosity was satisfied. On de-
parting the visitors all exclaimed to each
other of the lovely time they had, but
there may be serious doubts as to wheth-
er their host could say the same.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12


"I'm lostedl Gould you ind me, plesssf 2"
Poor, little, frightened bAbyl
The wind had tossed her golden fleece,
The stones had scratched her dimpled knees.
i stopped and lifted her with ease,
And softly whispered, MAY DO.
"Tell me your name, my little maid,
can't md you without it."
"My name Is Shiny. Eyesl" she said.
Yes, but your last?" She shook her head;
"Up TO my house icy never said
A single fng about II.
"But, DEAR" said, what is your name7"
"Why, didn't you hear me told you?
Dust Shiny Eyes!" A bright thought came:
"Yes, when you're good; but when they blame
You, little one-ist just the same,
When mamma has TO scold your"
"My mamma never scolds," she means,
A little blush ensuing,
"'Cept when I've been a-frowing stones;
And then she says (the culprit ownsl,
'Mehitable Sapphire Jones,
What has you been s-doingf'"
Anna n. Burnhorn, IN tho Wide-Awaka
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

ACCORDING to census bulletin No,
279, there are 255, TAI farms in Illinois.
1914, Obj in Indiana, 1876, 351 in Iowa.
1873, SCI in Kansas, l66, l53 in Kentucky,
154, 00S in Michigan, 92,3S6 in Mime
sofa, 2l5,575 in Missouri, 63, 3S7 in Ne
braska, 247, in Ohio. 134, 800 in
Wisconsin. OF the farms in Illinois,
It's, 497 are occupied by owners. The
farms occupied by owners number 147,
963 in Indiana, 141, III in Iowa; 49,
go in Kansas, 122, 400 in Kentucky,
1873, 597 in Michigan, SO. 933 in Mime
sofa, 1856, 703 in Missouri, 81, 1868 in
Nebraska, 1919. 562 in Ohio, 122, 1913 in
Wisconsin and Is, 757 in Dakota. In
Illinois II, 507 farms are under 20 acres,
46,9 between 20 and 80 acres, rs, $50
between 80 and 100, 116, $50 between
100 and 500, 3,249 between 800 and
1000, and $40 farms of over 200 acres.
Iowa has 364 farms of over 1000 acres !;
Indiana, 275; Kansas, 235; Kentucky,
LIP; Michigan, "a; Minnesota, 145 !;
Missouri, 6S5; Nebraska, 11S; Ohio,
252; Wisconsin, 1O9; Dakota. "A /;
Mississippi. 1888 North Carolina,
1,72l Virginia, 1853 ; California, 1881.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12
How Pilgrim Weakened

1t used to be said of Pilgrim, who was
resident of Clinton county, Mich, for
thirty years, that he never paid debt
IN his life, and further, that no one ever
found way to make him. The nearest
he ever came to such climax was when
neighbor found him mired in a
swamp in the woods, two miles from
any house. Pilgrim was over his knees
and slowly going down, when accident
ally discovered, and the situation offered
the neighbor just the chance he wanted.
Taking seat on log near by, he said:
"PilgriIn, you owe me S16."
cts outlawed," was the reply.
81 can't kelp that. 1t was a just debt
and you've got to pay it or I'll leave you
to sink out of sight"
81 never pay outlawed debts, was the
grim reply.
Then down you CO." said the credi-
tor, as he started away.
Of course he did not mean to leave
old Pilgrim to die. but he thought he'd
give him scare. He therefore hid In
the bushes where he could see him, and
during the two hours he was there the
debtor went down until only head and
shoulders were above the swamp. 1t
wanted only an hour to shutdown when
the creditor came forward and said:
pilgrim, you're in bad fix.
"Yes, rather bad"
"Unless you have help you'll be out
of sight in two hours"
"Looks that way to me, too"
"Now, then, will you pay that debit"
cts outlawed."
Il can't help that, you owe me SIC.
Will You pay it if I'll help you out?"
Pilgrim glanced around at the darken-
ing forest, and seemed to fully realize
his situation; but after moments re-
Election he called out:
'I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll wait
till go down to my chin, and then if no
one else happens along, or the boys do
not come this way after the COWS, I'll
give you my note for 80, payable in a
year. How's that?"
''I'D let you go down and be hanged
to your roared the creditor, as he moved
away.
"Hold on! hold onl" called Pilgrim,
81 forgot to say that the note must be
drawn without interest, and you must
agree not to sue on it."
He was actually down TO his chin
when the neighbor returned with help,
but he was not in a debt-paying mood.
On the contrary, when he found that his
boots had been left in the mire behind
him, he growled out:
81 don ; say as i shall sue any of you
for the value of them boots, but won't
agree not to bring in the claim if we
ever make horse-trade."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

Two CHILDREN o. George Wagner,
aged respectively 5 and years, boy
and girl, were playing near the brick
kiln at Goshen, N. Y, when the girl fell
into the water, which is about twenty
feet deep. The boy pulled off his coat
and iumred in to save her, and both
were drowned. On hearing of the calam-
ity the grief, stricken mother endeavored
to drown herself as she sought for the
bodies of the children.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12
He Would Wait.

A gentleman lost his wife, and little
miss of 6 years, who came to the funeral
said to his little daughter of about the
same age, "Your pa will marry again,
won't hep"
"Oh, yes" was the reply. "but not
till after the funeral"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

MICHAEL r. FURLoNG, a lawyer of
Springfield, ILL.,, and Mrs. Peynado, a
very wealthy widow of Louisville, met
for the first time at Hot Springs, Ark. +,
and were in the same hotel week. On
parting they eaci promised to consider
the question of marrying, and, if of the
same mind at the end of another week,
to 90 to the Southern Hotel, st. Louis,
to meet each other Both were on band
at the appointed time and place, and
the wedding was celebrated.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

The top of circus train in New Jer
sey was struck by projecting beam,
and the top of the leopard's cage knocked
off. One of the beasts at once made its
way along the top of the cars, and, just
as it was about to spring with savage
growls into the engine, it was laid low
with a poker in the hands of the EN-
gineer, who was also business manager
and clown. 1t fell under the train and
was crushed by the wheels. The train
being stol ped, the other leopard, who
remained sitting on the cage. took refuge
under the cars, from which he refused
to be dislodged. With the idea of get
ting at him, the train was started, when,
in trying to escape between the trucks,
he was crushed by the cars.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

j. G. LANDREAU, from whom Ship
herd purchased his guano claim, is Uni
ted States Consul mt Santigo, on the
south shore of Cuba, and is said never
to have had any confidence in the prop
erty which Shipherd estimates to be
worthS 1000, 100000.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

A NUMBER of Indians living on Kings
river, California, were afflicted with
measles, and, when well broken out, con-
cluded to take bath in the river as a
remedy. Fourteen of them were, in
consequence, gathered to their fathers
in the happy hunting-grounds.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

JUDGE ROMANS, of the New Orleans
Criminal Court, sentenced a juror to
twenty four hours in the parish prison
for contempt of court in appearing in his
presence without necktie.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

JOIN r. MAGRUDEK, the only man who
escaped from the Clifton (Arizona) mas
sacre. is a son of the late DIR. Hezekiah
Magruder, of Georgetown, ana is well
known among Washingtonians. In 1869
he went to New Mexico and settled
there, engaging in mining, but he has
paid almost annual visits to his old
home. Several years ago he was cap
tured by band of hostile Indians,
stripped OF almost all his clothes and
strapped to an Indian squaw on the boc'i
of a pony. The Indians were attacked
and the squaw was shot. Magruder
rolled from the pony with her, and, dur
ing the confusion of the fight and retreat
of the Indians, succeeded in freeing
himself from his dead companion and
escaped.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12
Health in Michigan.

Reports to the State Board of Health,
Lansing, by fifty-seven observers of dis
eases in different parts of the State, show
causes of sickness during the week end
ing April 30, 1882, as follows
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

THE wife of Senator Edmunds is to re-
ceive gift of silk quilt from the wom-
en- of Utah as mark of their apprecia-
tion of her husbands recent services.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

sell friend by informing him in n
formal and detailed manner that his wife
and daughter had been killed A case
of this kind really happened in Louis
vile, Ohio, the other day. When the
poor victim of the comical "surprise
went home and saw his dear ones alive
and well, the revulsion of feeling was so
overwhelming that his reason gave way
under the strain, and he is now in al
insane asylum. Another case OF crimi-
nal joking is reported from Erie, Pa.
While dissipating at that place John l..
Morgan, of Newburg, Ohio, caused a
letter to be sent to his parents detailing
his death, and asking for money to ship
the corpse. The mourning mother ar
rived ON the scene with an undertaken
and casket She was rendered nearly
insane by the shock, while the scape-
grace fled to Pittsburgh.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

DIR. HENRY GANNETT, geographer of
the tenth census, has submitted plan
for the subdivision of the States and
Territories for statistical purposes. He
puts the six New England States and
New York, New Jersey and Pennsylva-
MIA in the North Atlantic division. Del
aware, Maryland, Virginia, West Vir-
ginia, North Carolina, South Carolina,
Georgia and Florida i'll the South Allan
tic division. The Western States, in
Guiding Missouri and Dakota, in the
Northern Central division; Kentucky,
Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisi-
ana, Texas, Indian Territory and Ar
kansas in the Southern Central division,
and the Pacific States and Territories in
the Western division.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

THE ex- Empress Eugene was sued as
the widow of "Mr. Charles Louis Ma
poleon Bonaparte
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12
GEN. BEAUREdARD has about finished

Gen. BEAUREdARD has about finished
his book upon the War of Secession.
The work covers his whole military ca
reer. 1t is not conciliatory in tone. 1t
assumes throughout the fundamental
Justice of the Confederate cause. Gen.
George w. Smith has also completed an
account of the fall of New Orleans under
Mansfield Lowell, together with his
tory of military operations on the PENN
sula. He attacks Jefferson Davis rs Sc
verely as some of his predecessors have
done.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12
FRIDAY, MAY II, 1882.

To-DAY there are As. 700 postoflices in
the United States, and the same time
last year, 4i,512.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

The words of mans mouth are as
deep waters, aud the well-spring OF wis
dom as flowing brook.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

Number and Per
Cent. Of Obserp.
ers by Whom
Each Disease Was
Reported.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

A SCIENTIST says it does not kill an
oyster instantly to open its shell. May
be not. but il surprises il considerably.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-05-12

FAscY the sense of "humor that
could prompt couple of lockers to
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10

New YORK, November Sd. c. Hucston,
who was appointed manager Of the New
York Associated Press 10 succeed j. w.
Simonton, resigned to-day. after incum-
bency OF less than year. He was brought
from the London agency Of the Associated
Press TO the New York office. Some MEM
beers OF the Association had not admired his
management OF the London office, and op-
posed his promotion, which, however, was
accomplished, mainly through the in
fiuence OF Mr.. Simonton, and George
Jones, Of the Times. There have been
complaints that the news-gathering eli.
cheney Of the Association has not improved
under his direction. and this has helped to
aggravate the troubles between the West
ern and the New York Associated Presses,
the Western concern claiming that 1t was
not getting the value OF its money in
news bought from the New York
Press. The new Executive Committee OF
the New York Associated Press, 1t Is
understood. was not favorable to Hueston.
Erastus Brooks was appointed his success
sor to-day. 1t is believed that his appoint
ment IL merely temporary, as he has Just
been elected to the General Assembly, and
his duties at Albany will occupy much OF
his time,
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10
Good Understanding on the border.


The Mexican custom-hOuse official is
capable OF appreciating joke If his atten-
ton is called to it, At least, we infer he
is amenable to hilmor from what gentle
man who has just returned TO Austin from
Monterey tells us. His trunk was search
ed at Laredo, but nothing contraband was
discovered, although the official was par
ticularly careful in looking into every hole
and corner OF the trunk. lie even explored
the cavernous recesses OF a pair OF new
boots the American traveller had in his
trunk, whereupon the Gringo remarked:
"Therc is nothing in those boots, but there
is something in the other pair" The
custom-house official, after an Intellectual
hunt for the other pair, asked: "Where
are those other boots that have got some
thing i'm them!" "Here," said the Anne
rican, pointing to the pair OF boots he had
OH, and In which there certainly was some
thing, they being number elevens. As the
Mexicans have very small feet, the absurdi-
fy Of the Joke caused that Mexican to keep
on smiling for three whole days.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10
Virginia News.

There will be meeting Of The Board OF
Trustees of Hampden-Sidney College on
the 18th instant to accept the resignation
of President Atkinson and elect his sue
cessor. DR.. Atkinson resigns OIL account
of continued ill-health.
The Mecklenburq Democrat reports that
on Saturday son Of Harrison Chapman,
residing near Union Level, accidentally
shot and killed his little brother, aged five
years.
The dwelling and store Of Mr.. William
II. Selectman, at Occoqum, Prince William
county, together with all the contents,
were destroyed Tuesday night by fire. In
sured.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10
aucrvor sALEs--Fusure Days.
BY Grubbs Williams,
Real Estate Agents and Auctioneers,
Eleventh street between Main and Bank.
A GRAND SALE BY TRUSTEES
OF A
LARGE NUMBER OF BEAUTIFUL BUILDING
LOTS
ON WEST FRANKLIN AND GRACE slhhEio'
INTHE PLAN OF BELLvILLE,
IN TIE MIDST OF THE BEST GROWTH OF
THE CITY,
At AUCTION.
4 GRAND SALE BY TRUSTEES

In execution. of two deeds Of trus, 10 the sub
scrIhcrs duly recorded, and with the consent OF All
interested, we will sell by auction upon Tue pre"-
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1889.
commencing nj 4 o'clock T.. 81, the following
MOST DESIRABLE PROPERTY IN the pan vi
Bcllville-to Wit: ,,. ., .- tI,rr,
ON the south side of Franklin street near i'i'-
son street, lO2 feet front. . r.o-,
On The north side of franklin street near IiuIri-
son street, and adjoining J-B. Pace Esl' l'o iee'
front. -. ,,o,, rr,-,
son and Ryland streets, lying between properly
owned on the east by G. L.. Todd, and on inc west
Inv " H. Luckc, front Of 155 feet. ,,
And At the southeast corner OF Grace anu nyian"
streets overlooking the beauifui grounds OF fich-
mond College front OF 20 iect. ,,.,,o .,,o,,s aud
All Of thfse lots run back To wide alleys ana
.1les VIII be made in parcels Of suitable sizes.
The opening and grading OF the streets ana oll,er
improvements now progressing anu III cOntehip'.-
tion by the city III front OF these lots, ana steady
and rapid growth OF the best character aione tleI
line give assurance that the above property Is soon
To be ranked a. amongst the most des rable In the
entire city for private residences ana no such op.
portunlty can again be offered TO purchase at hrst
hands lots so elgibly located on Franknn ana
t;racc streets. and at prices mach below thOSe
obtained anywhere else on those streets; so uJ,i
preferred for private residences. Attend this SAFE
and secure nj \ small cost frst-class lots of ample
Recent sale In the vicinity Of the aboyc lots de-
monstrate that no better Investment or specuHi-
ton can be made than in their purchase ut this
sale.
TERMS Thy CONSENT: One fourth cash balance
1t four, eight, and Twelve months with Interest,"
anu /. II. CARRINGTON,
A. ID. WILLIAMS,
cprppc C. WILLIAMS AuctiOneers mol
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10

louisville. PA, November San eX-
plosian occurred at the Girard coliery,
Girardville, this afternoon, caused by the
spontaneous ignition OF gas which had ac-
cumulated in an exhausted working. The
detonation was heard and felt at distance
OF three miles. Earth and rock were
thrown hundreds Of feet in the air and
scattered to great distance. Windows
and doOrswere blown in, houses shattered,
and people thrown to the ground, but
nobody was seriously inquired, although
many miners were working in adjacent
breasts.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10
Nv william II. LYME & Go"
Real Estate Agents and Auctioneers'
lIl3 Main street.

U,RUsTEE,S SALE OF TWO TWO
/ STORY FRAME TENEMENT DMELL-
lNGs on DTVAL STREET NEAR BROOM
AVENUE-By virtue Of two deeds OF trust bear,
ing date respectively the 18th April, 1878, and
hfh March, 1870. recorded In the clerks Office OF
The Richmoud Chancery Court. respectively In
Deed.BooR iI2 A. page ESQ, and Deadlock ia
4. page l42. default having been mace In The pay
Iuircd so IN do by the beneficiary therein, shall
sell by public auction. on the premises, on
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER II. 1882,
at 4 o'clock L. NJ, the REAI. ESTATE dcscriheI
in said deeds-to wit. TWO TWO-STORf FRAME
TENEMENT DWELLINGS, Win iots itoh ,h "
together about ffty-yc feet. on the south side OF
Dmyal street east nf and near Brook ayen-e.
TERMS: Cash rs to expenses OF sale ana tie sum
Of 1900 with Interest thereon: the residue ~ ne
rotiabc notes at six and twelve months, with in-
terest added, and secured 10y deed Of trust.
y. NJ. LEE, Trustee.
" II TySy RI Auctioneers NOT
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10
virginia POstal News.

A new post-office has been established at
Hickory, Norfolk county, with William E.
Charlton as postmaster,
The following postmasters have been re-
Gently commissioned James f. Jones, at
Edge Hill, King George county, and Abe
neZer u. Mclean, at Laconia, Va.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-11-10
.7-crToN sALEs-russrs Days.
n = = T,mberiaks, Auctionecr.

BY D. a. Ti"DI'~S
HANOVER LAND FOR SALE.- Az
',,o ..,',sst OF the owners I viii sell, on the
premises, nj IL Nj. 1000
the FARM known as LAuKLh, srMrNSss IN Han.
nsr sou mc'u ave- and quarter miles from Rich
%oad and one ana half miles from kI,eTso cons s.
.nesapcake ,na vrrREs or LAND. which Is adj
inv d.,ed m trucking. which Is very profit
able n this locality, There y nRon , ans nar and
GRIsT-MILL With nevcr,,a ,.,,,,,i roaa nj 40
near the city. might be made very profitable. o
TERMS: One fourth cash, ana balance d ~ ons
,,.y,oa anu '"iee '' ID. A. TiMBERLAkE,
Ps 81 y" q Auctoneef.