The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1882-11-29


Bill Nye, of the Laramie Boomerang, in
forms the editor of the Bohemian that he is
engaged to the beautiful and accomplished
lydia E. Pinkham, of 'Vegetable Com
pound" fame, and that the wedding will take
place next Christmas. Lydia came to stay
with us when quite young, and we grew
up together. We became well acquainted
with her. She was a right good girl at
times, but as times changed, so did we.
Now that Bill Nye has fastened on to the
old girl, and has issued the cards Of invi-
tation to their wedding, we feel relieved
muchly. When zoe refused her, she imme-
diately few off into a tantrum. Some poo-
pie call it Mysteries. CA bundle of birch
switches would have been the medicine she
needed.) When.she cooled down. and got
back into her right mind, she Immediately
ordered her adv. out. We took it out.
Glad to do so, for we had looked at it 50
much the 'tarnal thing had become stereo-
typed on our minds eye, Even our mid
night slumbers were disturbed by visions
of vegetables, vegetables, vegetables
nothing but vegetables, and caldrons, and
witches stirring them. Over piles Of vege-
tables, looking at the scene serenely and be-
nignly, we would always see that we'll
worn electrotyped face of Lydia's, with its
bland and motherly smile. But a revolt
took place in the middle of our system.
Vegetables may be good enough for Mas
sachusetts people, but Buckeyes need some
thing stronger We have no desire to skin
our bones to clothe our backs Our cult
chah was nodded in different flask. So,
like the pitcher that went to the well once
| too often, we broke-brOke off with our dar-
ling Pinkham. Cause-overdOse of vegetN.
BILE. Effect-Bill Nye, of Laramie gains q
bride. Before we broke, which was lucky
for zoe, Lydia, to us, was as budding moss
rose in the dewy morn, as a big sunhower al
noon, and as a night-blooming cereus in the
evening She made us serious, and as hel
pace got too strong for us we had to break
Now, to us, Lydia is deNd-as a beat, will
a pumpkin head carrotty hair, potato eyes
radish nose, squashy complexion, oyster
tong hands, viuey arms, corn-stalk shanks
aud all capped by a pepper-pod temper
Bill, we congratulate you, we do. We know
she will prove a boss girl out in Laramie
Vegetable Pinkham adieu. For the pain
inwardly thou didst cause us, we are nov
using DR.. Harter's Iron Tonic and Hostette
Bitters. For the bruises thou didst inhic
upon our cutiole, st. Jacobs and Garglinl
Oil are adequate. For the bald spots o.
our Uranium, made so by thy grab-hooks, W
are using the new remedy, PaTkel'a Hal
Baleam. When We went te " ledge" an
you bolted US out, and we caught cold, Dl
Bulls Cough Syrup was ordered into oamT
For our oatarrh, caused by thy straig t-out
, from-the-shoulder thump on our nasal organ
Peruna is just the thing When we didn
, move on for the coal just as quickly as tn
' sweet temper thought we should, and 20
r accelerated our movement with a remind6
from one of thy No. las in our weak sid
dislocating a kidney, for that hRrt p Lydil
we grease ingaEdly With Warmers Safe Ki'
neY Cure, and also use the same .'only
remedy to let-go-free the bile from oRF live
"Poor Me ~ When We tgjed 10 Loist d
stoye-lid with a red-hot litter and burr
our No. II hand, we applied PetrOlina, me-