The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1882-05-17
STRATAGEM.

am q spinster, aged-but no, will
not tell you my age-and live in lit.
tie white house on the side of the hill,
surrounded by fruit trees and lilac
bushes, while in the front of the house
is little garden with hollybocks, mari
colds and plentiful supply of spear
mint, which is 30 nice for soup, and a
sprig of wake-robin, which is very
good for weak eyes. am plagued with
weak eyes some.
Here I live alone by myself-not
alone either, for haven't I Tower a
big black dog, with face that is mix
ture Of gray and white, and great brown
eyes with look almost human in them,
and a great deal more expression than
has that simperinR Sarah Smythe. She
says am conceited old maid, only
waiting for a chance to get married.
the ninny Why shouldn't /, il have
good chancep II would he handy to
have man bring water, chop kindlings
and stretch clotheslines on washdays
I may be out of the market now before
she is, the little goose for when turn
my cup over after drinking teal al
ways do-the grounds say a long Jour-
ney with three dots at the end, which
stands for crown; and IL that isn't
marriage I'd like to know what Isl
If nothing happens to intercept for
tune shall have him call me Sillie; it
is so much more loving an affectionate
than Priscilla. Now my name is one
of those things that never can be ac-
counted for; for why should they name
such a loving person Priscilla Nettle-
ton? And to tell the truth the man
who gets Priscilla might do worse. /
don't want to brag, but the man or wo-
man who finds any dirt in my house
has got to hunt for it; and can make
piecrust that would melt in your
mouth, and rhuharb tarts and huckle-
berry hollows that would do your soul
good. III my mind mans love has a
great deal to do with the condition of
his stomach.
Then am not very bad-looking; 1
have sweet disposition, dress young
and that makes me think of Sarah
Smythe again; that girl is brier in
my flesh. She says, coming home from
meeting the other Sunday-so could
hear her. too;
of old Miss Nettleton hasn't got a
pink gingbam just like mine, and made
just like it, with three houncesl I"
Says I:
"You good-for-nothing little mink,
why shouldn't have pink gingham
with three houncesif pay for itp Your
father is in debt to everybody in Thom-
, asvillel"
Don't you think she got mad just my
saying that--folks don't get mad as
easy as that unless you bit them pretty
close-and says she
:" You're a meddlesome, interfering
old maid p
Just think of calling me an interfer-
ing old maid Now that is downright
fabrication. l don't want anybody to
be wicked, but if they are / want to
know all about it, and l won't uphold
anybody in their wicked ways by with
holding my opinion, and if Abby
Nicholas is going to have light in her
front room until half-past 10 Sunday
evenings, / have a right to call in there
about that time if want to. And if
Sara Perkins and her husband don't get
along l want to know that, too. knew
they wouldn't; why, Sara can't make
brown bread fit for my Tower to eat;
and that soggy white bread is what has
given poor Perkins the dyspepsia, and
in my mind it has something to Go with
his rheumatism. You have to be very
careful about raising white bread, for if
it stands three minutes too long or too
little it is spoilt-just spoilt.
There comes Mary Green's sassy boy.
I must go out and tell him to wipe his
feet before he comes in-and if he hasn't
got letterl Now letter always sets me
shivering like, for they are almost al
ways trimmed with black; but this one
isn't. most wish it was, though.
"DEAR Miss NETTLEToN: i wrote you
some time ago informing you of the
death of your kinsman, John Vance. l
now feel it incumbent on me as his
friend aud the guardian of his only
child, Dolly, to say that, as she has no
permanent home, it might be pleasant
for you to have her come to you. If
receive no answer by next week shall
take silence as consent, and you may
expect her the first of the week after.
"Very respectfully,
"W. KELLER"
Isn't that cool, though? Why, she
win be as much trouble as was Tower