Richland beacon., 1882-02-18
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The best hcadquaircrs-brainr
Fancy work imaginative poetry.
Irrcdccmablc Londs-Vagabonds.
The Pacific mails-lwct husbands.
a china sci-A hen on a porcelain most c2r
Worthless checks-Plaid trousers with the
seat torn ont.
A successful debatcr-Thc hornet Away,
carries his point.
The ties that connect business men with the
rubIic-Advertisc.
The Gaineslorough la, mus, go bu, nc;
to the opcra.-Picayunc.
English schooboys are every where kicking
against foo,Jall.-Picayunc.
Some men are like the moon. They get
full o, &C in about so often.
The strength Of the farmer is oAcniimes
concentrated in his butter.
The sun is no invalid, but j, always gocs
South to spend the winter.
Adam missed one of the luxurics of life.
He couldnt laugh IN his sleeve.
A man that is variable is no, esteemed very
able by his neiyhbor.-Free Press.
The friend who calls uron you only when
he wants something is a friend in need
ayune.
The phrcnologlsi is governed more by his
feelings than any mar in any other business.
-pcayme.
Printing for the blind was easily accom>
plished as soon as tie printers could raise the
lct,ers-Pic.
Philadelphia has an V,st named Sword.
When eight years old he was oniy li,'c
Bowie-Hartiord Times.
Had Hoispur been sailor he need never
have gone without his gros; he could call
spirits from the vasty deep.
The marrying of a drunkard to save him is
carrying economy too far. Better let the
young man be wastcd.-Pcayune.
Strawberries are worth four dollars quart
in New York. and there are very few straw
berry festivals being given.-Picayune.
The weather is 50 warm that it will not be
long before the watering place people begin
TO work up sea serpent stores.-ricayune
Jones says that he used 10 be proficient in
half dozen languages, but since he was mar
Iied he is not even master Of his own tongue
The latest aesthetic slang the ladies' use
when reproving their admiring gentlemen
friends is: "You fa,tel too awiully perfectly
much"
little girl delighted at the singing Of thC
bobolinks, earnestly asked her mother, Nv ha
makes him sing So swee,ly-does lie ca
fowers?n
Statistics show that women commir suicid'
most frequently on Sunday. II rs on that dal
that the humiliation of having TO wear las
seasons bon.let is most keenly felt
Iniallible remedies-for corns, easy shoes
for bile, exercise; for rheumatism, new fan
mel and patience; for govt, toast and water
for debt, industry and for love, matrimony
Nellie has four.yeaf-old sister Mary, VIII
complained 10 mamma that her "but;on shoes
were "hurtins." "Why, Matte, you've pu
them on the wrong feet" Puzzled and read
TO cry, she made answer. "Whatll | dc
mammal They's all the fee, I've got"
A man advertised for wife, and reques,e
each candidate TO enclose her carte de visite
A spirited young lady wrote TO the advertise
in the following terms "Sir, do not en-
close my carte, for though there is some AT
,hori,y for putting carte before horse. | kno'
of none for putting one before an ass.
How people do change, TO be sure. Ther
are the Pinsreys, for instance. Six month
ago, before they were married, when Henr
used TO leave her house, Martha would stap
AT the gate and throw kssss at him until h
was out Of sight. This morning when he lie
home, instead of kiss, Martha threw d fir
shovel
Children are travellers newly arrived in