The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-12-22
Christmas In Central Africa.

CuTlStmaS In Centrol A1flC0s
Christmas is. q delightful season in
Christian lands. especially when the
balance of presents and dinners is in
ones favor, and the tin-horn crop among
the children has been q failure. Very
different is Christmas in heather lands,
where the uses of the stocking are I'M
known, and Christmas-trees are hung
with unfortunate travellers and unap-
preciated missionaries instead of glitter
ing and snowy presents. Think of
Christmas In the region Of the North
Pole, where the night lasts for six
months, so that even the ablest of the
Esquimaux can not distinguish Christ
mas-eve from Thanksgiving night, nor
Christmas morning from Washington's
Birthday or Decoration day! Even more
depressing Is Christmas in Central
Africa, as distinguished English trav
eler once discovered to his mingled sor
row and danger.
The traveller was good and noble
man. He was engaged in discovering
fresh lakes, new kinds of cannibals, and
original sources of the Nile in the heart
of Africa. and his only desire was to do
good to the human race, and to prove
that the maps made by other travellers
were all wrong. He had been three
years in the Dark Continent, and. hay
ing suffered necessarily from fever,
starvation. the rude embraces OF lions
and elephants. the bites of deadly SER
penis. and the cruelties of native Kings,
was nearly worn out. He arrived late
one afternoon on the shore of mighty
lake which no other white man had ever
seen. and which was at least five hun
dred miles distant from any of the
various localities in which European
map-makers had previously placed it.
He lay down under the shadow of the
trees, faint with all the various things that
predispose q man to be faint in Central
Africa, but exulting in the thought that
he would compel the map-makers to
place Lake Mjambwe where he wanted
it, and not where they selfishly i'm
agined that it would present the most
picturesque appearance. Suddenly he
remembered that it was the oath of De-
cember. and that Christmas, eve would
naturally arrive in the course of the
next two hours. The thought saddened
him. He glanced at his bare feet-for
his supply of stockings had long since
given out-and he thought of the happy
homes in England, where the children
were preparing to hang up their moth
ers' largest stockings. while he must
spend the blessed Christmas season
among savage heather and unframed
animals. He felt at that moment that
he would give his new lake for an hour
in his English home. and he covered
his face with his hands and sobbed him.
self asleep.
When he awoke it was broad day
light. The woods were vocal with par
rots who necessarily remarked: "Pollv
wants a cracker" and ostriches, and
other tropical birds. each singing at the
top of its voice. On the bosom of the
lake floated immense native canoes
bearing parties of excursionists, the
music of whose accordions and banioes
came over the water to the wearied
traveller. He was hungry. and felt in
his pockets for his quinine pills. but
they were all gone. He tried to rise to
his feet, but he was too weak and rheu-
matte to rise without help, so he sank
back. murmuring: "'Tis ard. ard in
deed. to die on Christmas among the
'eathen."
The sound of women's voices reused
him. Three native women, clad only
with the tsetse and pombo worn by their
sex in that part of Africa, emerged
from the forest on their way to draw
water from the lake. They saw
the traveller, and one of them, moved
with compassion, sang, in a low, mourn
full tone: 1.-The poor white trash done
come to Africa. He hasn't no mother
for to fry hominy for him, nor no wife
for TO send to the store with a Jug"
Enfeebled as he was the traveller knew
that this was wrong. for he had read
Parks Travels. and he could
not help remarking: you women don't
sing that song as it ought to be sung"
.'Sing it yourself, them" retorted the
singer. in q cold. heartless way. and
Siereupon the women passed on. and
ieit the wretched white man to perish.
The cruelty of the women made the
so indignant that he resolved
to make one tremendous effort for life.
He managed to rise, after painful exer-
tons and the use of many scientific
terms, and hobbled slowly toward
native village about quarter of mile
away. He had scarcely reached it when
he was seized by two gigantic canni-
balls and dragged to the kings palace,
where he hoped that either death or
breakfast, he did not much care which,
awaited him.
The palace consisted of one large
room with an enormous throne extend
ing entirely across one end of it. On
this throne sat twelve native Kings in a
row, each one with musical instru-
ment in his hand. The one who sat in
the middle looked fiercely at the trav-
eler, and demanded of his captors what
was the charge against him.
"Poor white trash, Mr.. Johnsing,"
briefly replied the largest of the two
cannibals.
"Mr. Bones-Ishould say. prisoner"
began the King, ''what do you say for
yourself:'
II am a white man," replied the
traveller; .but 'aven't 'ad any soap
Tor years, so l plead Matchmaking Cir
Besides, am 'ungry. Will
you not give me some breakfast"
THE Kings face grew bright with
it could not grow any darker
than it was--and he turned to his
brother Kings, and conversed with them
rapidly in the Mjambwe tongue. They
we're evidently discussing the fate of the
for presently the middle King
cleared his throat, and said:
Prisoner, You have forfeited your
life, but we are DISPOSED to be merciful.
You ought properly to be baked alive. !
md afterward eaten, but we shall pro-
q lighter sentence. You will !
listen attentively while we sing the
opening chorus and the favorite planta-
ion melodies, and you will guess every !
and LAUGH at every Joke. |