The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1882-05-18

that business"
"Ah, Polly, what's the use of talking?" 1t
was at this precise moment that the judge,
having put on his overcoat. was proceeding,
according to his custom. to give his wife q
parting kiss, that he happened. in thrustinR
his hands into his pocket, to lay hold of
Sterritt's spoons. He jerked them ont.
With an expression of horror, he ex-
claimed:
my God, Polly!"
what on earths tho matter. judge2"
"Just look at those spoons!"
@Dear me, where dye get them2"
Get them! Don't you see the initials On
them?" extending them toward her. Il
stole them!'
"Stole them. judge?"
Eyes, stole them"
MY dear husband. it can't be possible!
From whom?"
From Sterritt, over there; his name is
on them"
Good heavens, how could it happen2"
Il know very we'll, Polly. was very
drunk when came home, wasn't Il"
why, judge, you know your old habit
theu you get among those lawyers"
But was very drunk2"
"Yes, you was."
WAS remarkably drunk when got
home. MIS-. Brown"
Yes, Judge, drunk as fool. and forty
times as stupid"
Il thought so," said the Judge, dropping
in chair in extreme dependency. Il
knew it would come to that, at last. have
always thought that something bad would
happen to me- that should do something
very wrong-kill somebody in moment Of
passion. perhaps-but never imagined
could be mean enough to be guilty Of Go.
iberate larceny!"
Bat there may be some mistake,
judge"
how it all came about. That fellow. Ster.
rift, keeps the meanest sort Of liquor, and
always did-liquor mean enough to make
man do any sort Of mean thing. have
always said it was mean enough to make a
man steal, and now have practical illus
tration of the fact!" and the poor old man
burst into tears.
Don't be child, " said his wife, wipine
away the tears; go like man over to Ster-
rift, tell him it was little bit of q frolic,
Pass it off as q joke-go and open court.
and no one will ever think of it again,
A little Of the soothing system operated
upon the judge, as such things usually do.
His extreme modification was finally SUD-
dued, and over to Sterritt's he went with q
tolerahle face. OF course, he had but lit
tie difficulty in settling with him-for aside
from the fact that the judges integrity was
unquestionable, Ste1ritt had an linking Of
the joke that had been played. The Judge
took his seat in court; but it was observed
that he was subdued and melancholy, and
that his mind frequently wandered from
the business before him. There was q lack
of the sense and intelligence that usually
characterized his proceedings.
Several days passed and the business OF
the court was drawing to close, when one
morning tough citizen was arraigned on a
charge Of stealing. After the Clerk
had read the Indictment 10 him he put the
question:
Guilty or not guIlty?"
Guilty, but drunk" answered the pris-
Whats that plea?" exclaimed the Judge,
who was half doing on the chair.
He pleads guilty, but seys ne was drunk,
replied the clerk.
What's the charge against the mani"
"He is indicted for grand larceny
whats the case?"
May it please your honor, said the pros
ecuting attorney, the man is regularly in
dicted for stealing large sum from the
Columbus hotel.
He is, hey? and he pleads"
He pleads guilty, but drunk"
The Judge is now fully aroused.
Guilty, but drunk! That is most e.
traordinary plea. Young man, you are Ger
tain you were drunk"
"Yes, SIR"
Where did you get you< iouor2'
~. Sterritt's.
Did you get none nowhere else2"
Not drop, sir?"
You got drunk on bis liquor, and after
wards stole his money!"
yes, sir"
"Mr. Prosecutor" said the judge, ado
me tho favor to enter the nolle prosequi in
that mans case. That liquor Of Sterri,t's
is mean enough to make man do anything
dirty. The court got drunk on it the other
day and stol all Of Sterritt's spoons! Re-
lease the prisoner, Mr.. Sheriff: I adjourn
the court"
Capt. Henry has the advantage of the
Judge. Though drunk, he was not guilty.