National Republican., 1882-01-21
A cool PROPOSITION.
How n wIdower Wanted to Get an Iceberg
Monument for IaIs Vire's Grnvc.

NAhN "hNtN SEhNFs
The morning before the H. fntcd Jonnnotte, with
Captain Dc Long, set sail for the frozen north
that bourne from which so few travellers return
the officer Of the deck noticed peculiar tapping
sound on the ships stern and, on looking over the
side perceived a whitehall boat, I'm which sat q
solemn looking man dressed in black, and with
Grape band around hishat This sepulchral look
ing party kept up an impatient rapping on the
rudder.post with his knuckles.
What the blnzcs do you want? Why don't you
come mp the side p inquired the officer.
Because wish to find out If this IL the right
ship" replied the man in black. "Is Captain Do
Long at home2"
"Thars my name" said that amiable com.
mander, sticking his half shaved head out Of the
port.hole of the captains cabin, razor in hand.
Captain said the stranger sinking his voice
TO confidential whisper "you are going up
among the ioebeergs, amt you2"
why, yes. Why2"
what do you think 1t would cost to tow good,
big, tall one back here on your return trip? What
We'll that's COOL" said the Captain, much
",oi course 1t s--thet's Just the point said the
solemn party, earnestly. You see the fact is that
l lost my wife about two weeks ago"
Sorry for you" returned the explorer
oSfes 1St 6s HU MS5f m be boat
| " Martha was about the most cnntankerous, bad.
tempered, scandal loving old vixen ever saw"
That's more like it," continued the widowor;
| "'tis, indeed Besides all that, the late Mrs P
my names PlG-was decidedly fond oftea with n
stick in II; you understand. Used to make It just
lovely for me, when she sprung a leak, and don't
| you forget IT,"
"Yes, but don'tseo what all this" began the
seaTcher for the North Pole.
81 was just going to explain" put In Mr. PlG.
You see, Martha was good bit OF spirituallst,
and when she died she said good deal about be.
ing my guardian angel in the better world, and
all that sort Of stuff; She said she'd keep her
! spirit eye on me, and If she caught me shining
| round nights or galvantlng with the girls she'd
well, sir, but"
Just one minute It occurred to me at first
that I'd erect forty foot marble monument over
Marthas grave, MS she'd left me a-good lot of
bonds and things. Something that would not
only be gratifying TO her feelings, but would
weigh at least sixty tons and be calculated keep
order yesterday, when got to thinking Of some Of
Mrs. little trnits, and 1t occurred TO me that If
the old lady got her deserts she must have pretty
hot time oft down there. came across notice Of
| your expedition, and the idea struck me
| like pile driver that an iceburg was Just the
thing for her monument ailer all. Now, marble
| to me that good, tall ioeberg-one that would
| take long while 10 melt-would keep oozing ice
water, as u were, around the remains in a manner
calculated to keep mot any departed spirit kinder
| cool and contentcd like, no matter what they had
| done. How does 1t strike your"
well, I'm blowed," said the Arctic lnvestl-
gator.
And So" concluded the yearner aflor mental
peace, al concluded to come right out here and
see Il couldn't arrange bargain with you; all
| you'd have TO do would be to hook OH to some
good, solid, reliable berg aud tow II right along
back with you. lift don't cost over $40 900 wish
you'd take the order. What say, ehg'
And II was only after the captain had formally
agreed to accept the contract that the bereaved
husband concluded 10 fire Il trade dollar through
the portfolio TO bind the bargain and then paddle
serenely ashore.-DcrT7ck Dodd IN San francisco
Pos,