davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
PILES PILESl PILESl
A Sure Cure Found at Lasti No
One Need Suffer.

A sure cure for Blind, Bleeding, Itching
and liberated Piles has been discovered by
DR.. William, ian Indian remedy,) called
DR.. Williams Indian Ointment. A single
box has cured the worst chronic cases of
Is or 80 years standing. No one need
suffer FIVE minutes after applying this
wonderful soothing medicine. Lotions,
instruments and electuaries do more harm
than good. Williams Ointment absorbs
the tumors, allays the itching particularly
at night after getting warm in bed, acts as
a poultice, gives instant and painless relief,
and is prepared only for piles, itching Of
the private parts, and for nothing else.
Read what the Hon. J. NJ. Coffinbury of
Cleveland says about DR.. Williams Indian
Pile Ointment: have used scores of Pile
Cures, and il affords me pleasure to say
that have never found anything which
gave such immediate and permanent relief
as DIR. Williams Indian Ointment.
For sale by all druggists or mailed on
receipt of price, Sl.O0.
HENRY & Co., Prop'rs.
81 Nesey street New York,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
The Girl OF the Period.

A woman writing to the Philadel-
phia Times expresses the following
opinion: Looking back twenty-five
years tn rough the life spent in various
cities and places in this and other
countries. l can say with an American
woman's pride. that in no other land
can you find more good girls-self re-
liant, well educated and accomplished,
excellant house-keepers, exceptionally
dainty in person and house appoint
ments, and in no home, however hum
BILE, but you will find evidence of re-
fined taste and skill than in our own
fair land. If our girls can "cIaw"
the piano and will paint PLAQUES, they
can cook the beefstesk also; when a
young man drops in and finds her as
pretty as pink after emerging, Gin.
derella-like. from her multitudinous
duties about the house, he. no doubt,
thinks she has occupied the easy chair
all day. There's more truth than
poetry i'm the counter-charge of our
girls that a model Young lady, pro-
ficient in all the model accomplish
mems, is on the average sighted and
left behind for the giddy butterfly
girl. who is all tinsel, show, and an
adept in the art of fascination. Girls
that are perfectly helpless seem to
have more charms for the generality
of men than woman nobly plan'd,'
for it seems they hate to even think
of wife having any claim to supeir-
GRITTY.
Our girls are all right; our boys are
not. Too many dare not have their
lives Investigated. and l have seen
with shame that our best educated
young men frequent places they
should blush to know, and they are
blatant on the subject of the
deficiencies of girls whose hands they
are unworthy to touch.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
Efle Ellsler's Joke on Raymond

Ef1e Ellsler's Joke on Raymond
Denver Tribnne.
Bv the time Miss Ellsler had con.
cluded her explanatory remarks about
"Snooks," he was curled up and nap
ping.
"Oh, YES; we were talking about
John T. Raymond when | interrupt
ed the conversation" she said. 81
don't think that to this day Mr.. Ray
mond knows that / once perpetrated
a joke OH him. At that time he
would have given anything to learn
who the author was, for he always re-
taliates two-fold upon those in the
profession who made practical fun
drives at him. He was playing in
St. Louis. l was in the cast. / had
heard and seen so much of his jokes
that resolved one day to give him a
spoonful of his own medicine. You
know that Raymond, before ordering
at meals, is close student of his bill
of fare. And, in contradistiaction to
the theatrical diet of his Colonel Sellers,
he Is quite an epicurean in taste.
After thinking the matter over, / de.
cided to send him bill of the Null.
berry diet. So | had printed in
splendid style the fare which most he
did not like. Just think-Raymond
dining at dinner cr turnips! The bill
of fare was sent TO- the hotel, the pro-
prietor was induced to join the con.
spiracy, ana at the table he was deli.
cateiy handed the delicately printed
menu. He read: 'Soup-turnip,
turnip, fish-turnips, turnips; roast
turnip; boiled-turnip; entrees-tur.
nips; cold-turnip.' Before he had
reached the turnip pudding and pie
he SHE'D the card across the room,
buried his face in his hands, and was
heard by the waiter TO mutter !:
Good one, good one; wonder who did
it." He then got up from the table
and went to restaurant for his din
ner. l know that when he finds out
that | am the guilty one, he will play
hack at me"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
A Scene on the Towpath.

Beneath the nights bespangled arch
they were strolling unconscious of
aught save the intermitting fancies of
their twain hearts. Suddenly they
paused and, gazing at a ruddy star
that flashed like a great ruby in the
armament. she said: "Diomedes |!
what rufescent orb is that which winks
with bloody cen from yonder dome ?"
THAT, Andromeda," spake her
courtier knight, "is Mars, the wad of
gore-beg pardon. l mean the god of
war;" "Ah, yes and looks he not
like some gaunt Achilles, armored for
conquest, bidding defiance to the hosts
of hades ?" "He doth, Andromedo, he
doth! Or like some grim avenger
furling hoe-I mean hurting a foe
to the death Rome Sentinel.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

keep house with husband and wife
subject to hereditary blues is too
much, and / kick. Ihave told no.
body but you and the druggist who
furnishes me with drugs, but | think
the girl has told everybody she knows,
because half the girls meet look at
me as though was white elephant.
Can you save me ?"
The young lawyer said he believed
he could. but he would have to look
up the authorities, and he took down
a "blue book" of the legislature, and
told the young man to come again Oh
Saturday with $40 more. 1t Ger.
tainly will be one of the most singu.
lar cases that has ever been before
our courts, and will attract much at
tention, no doubt.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
A New Era.

The true secret of happiness is perfect
health, which enables the individual to en-
joy life, and attain competency and con-
tentment. The martyr to dyspepsia, in
continual misery, is without hope in the
pursuit of business or pleasure. and real
ICES that existence yields only failure. But
new era has come, and good health is
assured, with positive relief from the ills
OF digestion and torpid liver, by the use OF
DIR. Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets. They
are very nice, try them. Only % and so
cents, in. handsome boxes. For sale by
Bard & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
Fred VOkes and Sother n.

Fred Vokes and Ned Sothern, the
famous Dundreary, were bosom friends
but strange to say, though associated
together almost from boyhood, neither
had ever seen the other upon the
stage. The night of the great fire in
Chicago. both were playing there, and
the performance at Fred's theatre be-
ing prematurely brought to close, he
hurriedly dressed himself and started
in hack to McVickers, hoping At
last to see his dear friend Sothern as
the eccentric lord. At the door Of
the thetre the first person he encoun-
tered was SOthern himself hurrying
into q hack.
(Which way, Ned? ?" called Fred.
"Bless me, my boy said SOthern.
81 was going to run over and see you
do Fun in Fog"
"No Fun in a Fog tonight" said
Fred, 81 have come to see Dundreary."
"No Fun in a Fog no 'Dundreary,,
replied Ned dryly.
"No!" exclaimed Fred.
"No," replied Sothern.
"Well!" CALCULATED Fred.
"Well - echoed Sothern. Lets
take a drink" and the twain drowned
their sorrow in a cup of thick, but to
the day of his death Sothern never
saw Fred VOkes on the stage.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06


Whereas, Thomas Ferguson and Susan his WIFE
by their certain deed of trust, dated the 2rd day OF
April iS72 and recorded n the recorders office OF
Petit, county, at trust aud mortgage deed book s,
page Al conveyed to the undersigned all their right
title interest and estate, in and To the following
described real estate, situated ia the county Of
Petts state OF Missouri, viz The south quarter
Of the seuthes; quarter of section twenty co. and
the northeast quarter III the northeast quarter of
section twenty mine (2i, in township 49, and range
2a. Which said conveyance made in trust TO
secure the payment OF Q certain proniSsory note i'm
said deed Described and whereas, said note has
hesome due aud is unpaid now therefore, in accord
with the provisions of said deed If trust, and
the request Of the legal holder Of said note shall
proceed sell the above described real estate the
cours house door. in the city of Sedaia, in the
county OF Pettis and state aforesaid to- the highest
fos cash, at public auction, on
SATURDAY, THE 18th DAY OF JULY, 1882,
between the hours of nine in the forenoon and five
in the afternoon of that day, to satisfy said note
together with the cost and expense OF executing this
trust. W. l.. POWELL, ST.,
SSwft. Trustee.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

Agents wanted for the sale of the indian Blood
syrup In every town or village, in which have no
Agent. Particulars given OF application.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

BEDFORD, NO.
have used Dr. Clarke Johnsou's Indian Blood
syrup for Chronic Disease and have received great
relief therefrom. H. CUNTON.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
WARSAW BENTON. TO.

WARSAW. BENTON, Co., 30.
Eish 70 inform you OF the facts OF one Of the
most remarkable cHr-s ~ DropSy known in this
country was afflicted Tor 4 number of years, and
Tiled different doctors anu various remedies but sill
20 no purpose. One doctor said could dot live
isree week ! was advised 10 try some Of Dr..
Jonnscns indian Blood syrup, which did, and in
snort time vas able 10 90 to town asi cali upon
the doctor who said could lot live. IL perfectly
cured me.
JOHN MILLER.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
DRUGGISTS SELL IT.

Laboratory. a West 3rd St.. N. Y. City.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

VEsoSA. LAWRENCE co.. Mo.
/ was troubled for long time with Kidney
Disease. and also with ChiliS and Fever. I tried
various remedies unsuecessiully for months. then
commenced taking DR.. Clark JohnsOn's Indian
Blood Syrup, which has completely cured me. /
am now Is stout and healthy rs ever WAS
WILLIAM WATSON.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

Those who desire any of the latest STYLES
in either of the above lines will do well to
give Mrs. Wallace call. 3-14w4m
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
$500 Reward.

We win pay the above reward for any CO
Liver Complaint, Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, In.
cure with Vests Vegetable Liver Pills, when the
directions are strictly complied with. They ag0
purely Vegetable and never fail give satisfaction.
Sugar Coated Large boxes, containing 80 Pills, -
cents For sale by all druggists. Beware of count.
erfeits and limitations The genuine manufacturea
only by JOHN c. WEST 4 Co.. "The Pill Maker"
iS1 & 1873 w. Madison St., Chicago. Free trial
package sent by mail prepaid on receipt Of csaA
stamp. so 4 lyxs
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1882-08-11
NO. 81
SPECIAL NOTICES.
NOflce,

Notice.
II you have fine or complicated watch or
clock, music box, an automaton singing bird
OF any other delicate and intricate piece o
mechanism needing repairs, go to
EDW. WILHELM,
ohronometer, watch and clockmaker
Jewelry neatly repaired.
:, All work warranted to give perfect satisfsc.
tion or positively no charge. o.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1882-08-11
VOL. XIII.
Gureka Dailp Sentinel,
up1surD EVERY MORNING (MoNDATs EXCEPT
ED By
cassidy & SKILLMAN.
A. sKILLMAN. 'ho' W. oA'siDi'
Corner of Monroe and Bateman streets.

oscs-Corner of Monroe and Bateman streets.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
,o,,,, one year by mail. ail..................$15 90
Une nv Cop six months, by mail............ 90
onoooI o,opr three months by mail ........... 90
one ne 'upS, upners forwarded until paid for.
TERMS OF WEEKLY:
oo cony one year,.....".......... .........So OO
ono oo sony six months, s,.-"............-..... 81
ono ono cony. three months."."... l 6O
AGENTS.:
cN FAsSETT. T.........'... .kuoy Hill
NRs.J.F. 0UPIp..... ."......... ......Ward
u p GO0pNAN & Co....>. ..... ...Pioche
" c MARCHANT,.. T,..........".. ......Pal1sade, New.
LINES 0. DOYLE...... .."...... Hamilton
II p. sTIMLER. R............"....... .....Belmont
ca.s B. srREITBERGER.... .Tybo
SCOTT Bristol, Lincoln County, New.
= cuENOWETE. E.......... " W.nnemucca, New.
I R. RICKARD. ...........".S Silver keef' Juan
0RMOND II LOVETT:. ........f rlsco' Otan
, n BARNES, Central City, u. L.
a a. TavEY Bingham Canyon, Utah
" SIMMONS MlSuel, Oal'
NJ HAIIER Bellevue, luano
" N GILLESPIE IE........-... Booze, Cai.
CHARLES W. CRANE, No. 31S Pine street ana
" Iaidesdorff street, Room 80, is Sole Agent
~ Gov the EUREKA DAILY and WEEKLY SENTINEL
~ San Francisco. Persons in that CITY nav
ina m business with this office are requested 10
Communicate with him.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-01-20
Some Peculiar Superstltions.
There are some intelligent and We

There are some intelligent and we'll
educated people whom nothing can in
duce to try on a mourning garment
when not in black themselves. The
writer has heard lady upbraiding her
self with the keenest remorse on the
death of her sister, because few DAYS
previous she had tried on black Grape
hat belonging to friend visiting at
the house. To reason with her and en-
deavor to prove that any connection
between the two events was impossible,
comferted her but little, and to-day it
is probable that not one of the family
would, upon consideration, do the
same thing again. Every one knows
the origin of the custom of burying the
dead with their feet to the east, Gus.
tom among Christian nations, and
adopted at first that, as the Lord is to
come in the east, the dead may arise
and stand with their faces to Him in
the resurrection. The usage of GEN.
turies has rooted this custem 20 deeply
that it is little wonder that when it is
departed from. the superstitious shake
their heade, and prophesy that 10 good
will come of it. Some of us, indeed,
who do not in such cases actually ex-
pect another death in the family, must
confess to feeling as though our dead
coul1 not rest quietly if laid other.
wise than in this time-honored po-
sition.
Probably insurance agent, are the
only people who have any idea how
many men, sensible in other respects.
are kept from insuring their lives by
the fear, either on their own part. or on
that of some member of their families.
that the act might shorten their lives;
and there are sober business men who
die and leave their estates to endless
litigation rather than make a will be-
cause of the vague fear lest thus l" set
ting their house in order hasten the
day OF death. From the same fear men
refrain from altering or adding to an
old house, and we have known q man.
prominent in his neishborhood, wealthy
and otherwise liberal to his family,
who year after year lived in a dwell.
ing which was continual modification
to his wife and daughters, resisting all
entreaties to rebuild, so fully was he
convinced that if he were to do go, his
death would soon follow. This super.
stition is not an uncommon one among
old people.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-01-20
Testing His Affections.

A mean trick was played on an Austin
darky, Mr.. James Grow. He was pay
ing attention to one of Uncle Mace e
daughters. it being understood that or
her marriage she was to get house and
lot. Uncle Mace is sly old coon. and
to test his future son-in-lsw' vs. affections
he said, as they we're smoking theil
pipes:
"Mr. Grow. 1 has been cogitatin'
and l has come to de 'clasion not tc
donate Matildy dat ar house an lot or
Austin Avenue"
MIR. Grow sprsng to his feet, and stick
ing his stovepipe hat on the side of his
head, said:
" Iu dat case, sab, our future rela.
tions done cease to exist, from this
moment, sah."
"But, Mr.. Crow, I was going tel
say
90, go hire a hall, and invite vel
friends to attend, exclaimed Grow, in.
solently.
"All right, Mr.. Grow. Our future
relations has done cease ter exist; but
only wanted ter say dat dat house am
too small, go am gwine ter glib Matildy
dat two-story cottage on Pecan street,
wnff twice as much"
Jim tried to explain also, but when
Uncle Mace soiemnly lifted boot the
size of ham, and pointed to the gate,
James refused to linger.-l Texas Sift-
ipQs.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-01-20
ltll;n neve: knew what danger had

MitI;n never knew what danger had
menaced him!
At the end of that time the old gen.
tleman's grandson came from some
wide, wild region across the sea, tall,
dark-eyed young man with the mien of
prince in disguise.
My father has been dead for a
yesr,' he said. "And his papers have
only just been thoroughly Investigated,
80 that have just learned for the first
time, thet there is an arrearage ;ue on
my grandlather's allowance. hope
he has not been allowed to suffer-
ooh, he's all right" said Mrs. Dag
gett. We've took excellent good
care of him."
lyon are u noble-hearted woman, :"
said the young man, fervently clasp
ing her hand, land will see that you
are no loser by your generosity"
at amt me-" said Mrs. Dsggett,
turning red and white. for Helen Hyde,
now spending her second summe- at
the farm house. sat by, quietly sewing
in the window recess. I'm free to
allow that me and Dlggstt got out of
patience and was going to put him on
the town, but Miss Hyde here, ore of
our boariers, she's paid for him ever
since
81 beg your padon if have inter
fered," said Helen. blushing scarlet AZ
the large black eyes fell scrutinizingly
on her face, but he seemed so old and
so helpless, tlat"-
"God bless you for your noble Decd"
said Ambrose Miffiin, earnestly.
But there was something in Helen's
manner which prevented him from
Offering any pecuniary recompense to
her.
"My grandfather will need your
care no longer" said he. "We have
been fortunate in our Australian invest
| AChbo uhA aui PASphi0I w uuy Tue
old farm back again and settle here per-
manentiy."
And when Mrs. Dardanel began to
think about getting her winter ball
lresses made up, she received a note
from Miss Hyde. which ran as follows:
DEAR Mrs. DARDANEL:-I am sorry
to 'isappoint you, but / cannot under
take any more orders, for l am to be
married next month to Mr.. Ambrose
Mtllin, and we are to live at the Dag.
gett farm. And oh! how proud ]
should be if you would come here and
visit me next summer, when the roses
are in bloom and the straw berries ripen.
Ambrose is all that is nice, and / shall
have the dearest old grandfather-in-la law
in the world.
Affectiouately, HELEN HYDE.
Aud all this life's romance had grown
out of Helen's month at the seaside.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-01-20
Detroit Currency,

You don't need any trap to catch
smallpox.
"Crankism !" can be put down by
hangism, and the cure can't come tco
soon.
"America." says an Englishman, "is
a country where mans statement is
not worth two cents unless backed up
with an offer to bet you ten dollars" !"
Hit us that time.
In Italy they license hand organs
which are in tune. A discordant note
is not permitted. Hand organs which
can't get license are shipped to this
oountry.-[Philadelphia News.
A Connecticut man wrapped White
sheet around him and "sppeared to
a widow. She hit him on the head
with an iron teakettle, and the next ap.
pearance was that of surgeon.
A milk dealer at Frankfort. Germany,
VINO only put one quart of water to
eight gallons of milk, WAS fued $40
and sent to Jail for three months, Just
as he would have been in America.
No danger of Confederate bonds
running short. They can be engraved
and printed for about cent apiece, and
several men have gone into it for q liv-
ing. Bring on your market and the
bonds will be there.
King. the balloonist, told how he was
surrounded by wolves in that swamp
in Wisconsin. Farmers living near by
say that no wolf has been seen in that
section for twenty-five years. If King
had only seen snakes, now, there would
be no mystery about it.
In an outburst of enthusiasm the Rev.
Talmsge said that "the cylinders of
the printing press will be the front
wheels of the Lords chariot" Press
cylinders are very we'll in their places
but they must make very clumsy wheels
when used for road wagons.-[P Plea
yune.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-01-20
Reconciliation.

Strike hands across the gulf OF wears,
Lands drifted erst so far apart:
United flow a nations tears,
Throbs with enc pulse nations heart.
Strike hands in our deep grief above
The grave Of our illnstrous dead;
Only the warmth Of living love
Can heal the wound that death has made
No passion now our lines divide;
No sears remain OF cruel war;
Twice for us hath MARTYR died;
And "'tis land worth dying for"
Do homage to your peoples choice,
Land of his burial and his birth;
But OH deny US not voice
OF tribute to exalted worth
Our hearts are MISUNDERSTANDING need
To win such fond allegisnce'
monumt n, defying creed,
Or time, or change, or circumstance,
Our century y-built structure stands,
And for our faith assurance gives:
From east, from west, north, south, strik,
hands!
"God regns-the government still lives
Il Mrs. Lizzie Hamlet, in The Household
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-01-20

GROWING PLANTS IN WATER.-To
grow an acorn, a hyacinth glass or a
pickle jar is suitable. Choose q fine,
healthy looking acorn, and crochet
with moderately coarse cotton. a little
network case just large enough to hold
it. Take off the cup and put the acorn,
point downwards, in this little bag,
closing it at the top, and make a loop
of cotton or chain stitch, about two
inches long according to the depth of
the bottle), to hang it up by. Cut q
narrow piece OF wood, of such q size
that it will lie across the top of the jar
without slipping in. pass it through the
loop, and thus hang the acorn point
downwards in the glass which must
have Just as much water in it that the
tip of the acorn scarcely touches it.
Keep the bottle in dark cupboard till
the acorn has sprouted, and then put it
in the light, just as you would q hya-
cinth, being careful to keep the water
always at the same level. This will
live long time if properly managed.
An ordinary sweet chestnut can be
grown in the same way.