Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-10
WIT AND HUMOR.


Elope:nenss Az becoming quite fash
ionable. A horse ran away with one
Of the Oldest maids in Philadelphia.
Samuel johnson defined nonsense to
be s'bolting door with boiled car
rot"
"What makes the sea salt?" said
the teacher, and young America
shouted, ''The Goldfish that are in it."
GLOW shall we get the young man
to church," is the title of an article
in a religious weekly. Get the girls
to go, sainted brother, get the girls to
go.
A lady put her watch under her
pillow the other night, but couldn't
keep 1t there because it disturbed her
sleep. And there, all the time, was
her bed-ticking right underneath her,
and she never thought Of that at all.
A preacher at Sunday school ex-
cursion described heaven as an eterni-
ty of picnics-and several young men
members Of his congregation who
logged baskets weighing nearly a ton
each, and climbed high trees to put
up swings, have left church.
A gentleman at one of the hotels
split some milk on his coat and won.
dered if it would leave grease spot.
s'Grease spot?" queried the fellow
boarder just opposite, '.grease spot?
Well, I should say no. Rather look
for chalk marks when it dries up"
Ola gent: "Ain't your name John
ny Smith," Little boy: eyes, SIR:
"You never saw me before, did you
sonny?" "No, SIR" "Well, I never
saw you either, but l knew your
father long before you were BORN.
II came mighty nigh not recognizing
you, didn't II"
A coquettc came out of o fancy.
goods shop loaded with purchases
You have renewed your provision"
said rival. "Don't speak of it; /
have ruined myself! l have bought
thousand things l do nced-amOne
others six tooth brushes" 'Ah! one
for each TOOTH" said the other, sweet
ly.
During q country ramble Brown
fell into puddle and muddied his in.
expressiblcs. Jones, his companion,
was trying by means Of casual stick
to rid Brown of some of the thickest
of it, when passing countryman in-
CURED: "Say, yeou, what'r yeou
doin'3" "My friend, am simply
scraping an acquaintance" said Jones
i'll his blandest tones.
Old Mrs. Charles Mathews, mother
of the celebrated actor, is related to
have been very juvenile-looking till
late in life. A friend of the family
meeting her son one day, and COM
menting on the fact, said: by the
way, Charles, how old is your moth.
err" ''Weli, answered the ininitable
Charles, considering, 81 hardly know.
She must be forty; Fm thirty-nine.H
The editor laid his half-smoked CT
gar on the table, and the candidate,
dropping III To talk matters over,
perched himself on the table and sal
down on the real Connecticut Havana.
BY and by he sadly slipped Off his
cause, anyhow" he said plaintively.
''Ah, no. replied the editor, encour-
agingly, "the old fires are still burn.
ing" And then great hush fell up.
on the busy sanctum, such q profound
silence that for q moment you might
have heard gum drop.
LII just the cosiest little nook under
the shadow OF q great tree, right
where the shelving rocks made nice
settee with a back to it, they were
sitting. Down, down at their feet
was the sounding sea, caressing with
its mighty hugs the shore. us not
the sea inspiring?" said he. "Scc yon-
der snowy sails. They are lilSe-they
are like" care tbey?" said she az
she dug her parasol into the bank
mo they are not" replied he sharply,
and tho GOODNESS of the breeze was ca
loric in comparison with the frigidity
Of the rest Of that day. She had in
terrupted just on the brink Of q very
important declaration, which she will
ever wait for now.