The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1882-08-03
There is COW to every twelve peo,

, There is n cow to every twelve PEG
pie in the United States.
The first corner in corr was when Jo-
seph stored all the grain in Egypt.
Ex-County Commissioner HowARI
You've, died at his residence in Camder
on Monday evening last. Of the cause
OF his death we did not learn
Darwin made a fortune by his writ
ings. And thereby hangs a tail" Let's
have no monkey business about a thing
like this, please.
If you want a man to think well of you
never converse with him via telephone,
You can't talk with a man five minutes
in that way without his coming to the
conclusion that you're as deaf as an adj
der, and a condemned fool, in the bar
gain.
The Crawford House, corner of Sixth
and Walnut streets, Cincinnati, is a good
place to stop when you are in the city
Convenient to all places of interest. Lew
is Vanden, the proprietor, invites you to
come and see him when in Cincinnati
Terms 50 per day.
That was a libelous rejoinder given a
tramp last Sunday evening. He was
passing west on the Dayton and Western
turnpike singing, Heaven is my Home
when a corner loafer called out, 'then
you're going the wrong way, stranger;
that is the road to Richmond"
A Columbus man answered ga charm
ing young lady's" newspaper personal
for a gentleman correspondent, arranged
for a clandestine meeting, and met his
wife. They both would have been de-
lighted to have some one shoot them in
the neck, but after begging each others
forgiveness they kissed and made up.
That best of all periodicals, the "Phre-
biological Journal" for August, is on our
table, the contents of which are rich and
rare. Published by Fowler & Wells,
75S Broadway, at 50 per annum. If any
of our readers want a real valuable and
interesting monthly, send for the Jour
nal.
A jour sends US a postal to know what
chance there is for "a sit" in this office.
Splendid. The best we ever saw. That
is-sit around and do nothing. Nobody
works in this office but the editor, and
he is kept busy from early morn until
dewy eve to collect enough funds to keep
out of the poor house and the institution
going. Come II.
ExcURsIoN-The Cincinnati, Hamilton
& Dayton Railroad will run an excursion
to st. Paul, Mimi, on its regular trains
August 9-tickets good for return until
August 81, 1SS2-at the low rate of SIG
for the round trip. Harvest is over, trav-
| cling is pleasant. This is the excursion
of the season. Go and take your family.
Ask your Ticket Agent for particulars.
Editors are mercilessly criticised if
every edition of their paper is.not the
gem of perfectness, and yet editors often
have as poor opinions of their publica-
ton as q housewife has Of certain poor
ly cooked meals. The workings of things
in an editorial sanctum is not always
calm and clock-like-no more than the
sea is ever placid and unrufied by storm.
Mr.. Samuel Mitchell, who is comfort
ably and pleasantly located on a section
of productive and well improved farm
land near Brinley's Station, had the
hugest birthday surprise last Saturday
that ever occurred about here. Three
hundred and fifteen relatives, friends
and neighbors gathered to celebrate it!
1t resembled a county fair! Sam and
his ''better half" and friends, have our
thanks for their kind remembrance in
the shape of a large and beautiful cake
with a handsome boquet. Sorry we could
not be present to participate.
Geo. Goldsmi:h's wife met with very
serious and painful accident on Thurs
day evening of last week, while prepar-
ing a mixture of powder and sulphur to
burn in her chicken coop to destroy lice
on the chickens. By some means fire
was communicated into a flask from
which she was pouring powder, causing
it to explode and decorating her left hand
terribly. DIR. Webb dressed the wound
and she is doing very well. There was
but a small quantity of powder in the
flask, which no doubt saved a fatal acct
dent.
We have received of Oliver Ditson &
Co. a few excellent pieces of music,
which show evident progress as to quail
ity as we'll as in the quantity of their
publications. "Mary of the wild Moor"
40 cts.) is an old friend with a new pic
ture title. "Never too late to mend" go
cts.), is one of a number of agreeable
proverbs in Song by Roeckel. "Fair-
ly caught" go cts.), is a neat ballad by
Eiehl. "Bessie with the hazel Fen"
go cts.), by Major, is all about a Scotch
Lassie, and GOOD Morning" go cts.)
with German and English words, is one
of the Norwegian Grieg's compositions.
The foregoing are vocal. For the Piano
there are ACADEMY Waltzes," 40 cts.)
by Missud, and a short "Tarantelle" (25
cts.), by We'll, and for Violin and Piano
there is a pretty 'Rose of Killarney
(35 cts.), by Thomas.
Mr.. Lee Parks and wife, of e Con
cord, met with a "smash up" on theil
way home from Eaton on Wednesday
evening of last week. They were driv'
ing a young and spirited horse that be-
come frightened at a flock of geese run
ming under him just before leaving the
Corporation on south Israel street, anC
when crossing the branch bridge neal
st. Clair Springs he plunged off, over
turning the buggy, spilling out the occu
pants and wrecking the vehicle. Mrs
Parks was severely bruised about thu
head and shoulders, but Lee got off will
but a few scratches and the expense of