davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1882-10-07

UTANTED-A SITUATION BY. A NICE,
w tidy white woman as housekeeper, one
who thoroughly understands her business. Call
at No. i2l St. bet. iih and 6th sts. u. W. Oc5
The Evening critic., 1882-10-07

UTANTED-Te exchange new stoves FOR old
w ones at Buffers Stove Exchange cor. 9th
and X. Smokey chimneys cured or no pay, Steyes
exchanged for gr0ceries Old stoves bonght. fe27
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The following took place at camp
meeting recently conducted by S. p.
Richards, presiding elder Of the Au-
gusta district this year: "Uncle ST.
mon Peter" as he is generally called, f,
went up into the stand on Sunday
morning to preach. As is customary
at camp-meetings he found a great
many of the young men sitting among
the ladies. lie told them they must
all move over on the mems side, which
they did. That evening Rev. Sam
Jones was to preach, and "Uncle ST.
mon Peter was up in the pulpit with
him. just as Mr.. Jones got up t.
commence preaching, "Uncle Simon
Peter" locke d over the audience and
spieda young man sitting with a young
lady. He Immediately jerked Mr..
Jones by The coat tail and motioned
him to sit down. Rising mp he said:
"Young ladies, ifany of you have a
spare dress, please put 1t on that
young man over there among those
young ladies, with his hair parted in
the middle, he wants TO be girl so
bad. = Washington GA Gazette.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The other day a show came to Lit.
tie Rock and was shamefully imposed
upon by Uncle Sam. While standing
near the tent he saw n crowd OF low.
spirited boys grieving on account of
financial depression.
docs yer youngsters wanter go to
der showl' he asked.
The boys responded in noisy chorus.
"Well, come on, den. uster be Il
chile myself, an unlike de mos Of
men, / hain't forgot 1t. Count desc
boys" he added, addressing the door.
keeper. The man began counting, and
by the time the boys had passed in
lsom was walking around, talking to
acquaintances from the plantations.
"Here," said the Snowman, "give
me twenty tickets"
"What forf Does you think me a
lottery agentH"
"You passed in twenty boy', and |
want the tickets or the money
II doan owe yer no tickets, aud |
dOan owe yer no money. didn't
tell yer ter pass de boys in. | said
count 'em. Use always heard that
showmen is good on rithmatic, an |
wanted ter satisfy myself Yer say
dat dsr was twenty boys. doan'
spute yer word, case aint no math.
erlician. Sposen take a lot oh boys
ter de cashier oh bank an' axes him
ter count 'em, does dat signify dat
the cashier is gwine ter pass 'em into
de money rooml No, sab Go back
to yer tent; sees a crowd goin in"
The Snowman, remembering that
he had left the entrance unguarded,
turned and Isom walked away Lit.
tie Rock Gazette.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03
oUR VIEW YEAR,s MFfK



The INTERIOR JOURNAL at Stanford
is now published as a Semi.Weekly.
This is characteristic Of the enterprise
OF It's proprietor, and we are glad to
note such marked evidence Of the
papers prosperity. - [Georgetown
Times.
The Semi Weekly INTERIOR JoUR.
NAL came to hand last week and is a
very attractive seven. column sheet.
Bro. Walton gets up one Of the news
lest papers in the State, aud his
change to two papers a week speaks
well for the enterprise Of Stanford
[ [Hopkinsville South Kentuckian.
The Stanford INTERIOR JOURNAL
now visits its patrons twice a week.
Always one Of the best papers in the
siate--able, bold, spirited and newsy
we are delighted with the prospect
OF its visiting US twice as often as be-
fore. Brother Walton has richly and
bravely earned the prosperity that
now blesses him, and We heartily ex-
tend TO him and his our congratula.
lation as we'll as the merry greeting of
this joyous season. Breckinridge
News.
The Stanford INTERIOR JOURNAL.
in its Semi. Weekly form, was brought
to our notice for the first time yester-
day. Since its debut we have been
80 much engaged with the General
Assembly that our entire exchange
list has been neglected. 1t gives us
pleasure to find the new enterprise
upon such an excellent footing. In
points Of size and appearance the pa
per is most creditsbIe, and the we'll
known ability Of the editor make its
success beyond question. Il Frankfort
Yoeman.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03
Al Kmnn

This has been the warmest Decem
Der within a number Of years. Ven.
nor's prediction was as follows: II
looks ugly, and smacks Of cold
bitter, biting cold, north and south,
east and west. This cold may be
somewhat proportionate to the heat OF
the past summer, aud extend to ex.
treme southern and western points.
The entry Of the month is likely to
bring in winter al ruptly in most sec.
tions where winter is usually expected
or experienced"
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

How TO SLEEP IN A SLEEPING CAR.
Il. Get birth in the fore part Of
the car. This is because the pure air
comes in at the front end and win
dows and goes out at the rear end and
windows. / always take the front
upper berth. My reason for taking
the upper berth is because it is freely
ventilated and away from the hot
pipes. 2. Have your berth made up
head towards the engine. This will
keep all draughts of air from your
head and prevent taking cold. If the
car is very tight put lead pencil un-
der the window at your feet in case of
lower berth; or, in case of upper berth,
open the hind sky window at your
feet. 3. Fix your pillow in one corn.
er of the berth and your feet in the
other. BY lying crosswise you will
not roll in your berth.-[Chicago
Hotel Reporter.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

ANOTHER ONO WEDDING. - A
young man named Calvin Hile, who
has for several month, been stopping
at hotel in Nation, ILL.,, was sud
denly confronted yesterday evening
by a young woman named Miss Ma.
ry Cusick, Of Gallon, Ohio, accom-
panied by an officer who read States
warrant to him. The nuptials took
place Immediately in the pArlOrs Of
the hotel, and the couple left on the
fret train for Gallon.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03
Nov Year ResoIaiions

In theory, the first day Of the new
year is a mount Of vision whence the
traveller on life's journey, looking
backward over the way that he has
passed and, seeing the places where he
stumbled, or went astray, is enabled
to 90 forward, freshly fortified against
the pitfalls and temptations Of the
future. In practice, the "mount of
vision aspect Of the day is confined
almost exclusively to the business
community. The way that is scanned
is fouud in the ledger aud the balance
sheet and the places Of stumbling
and going astray are the charges to
profit and loss when bad debts were
made, or confidence was misplaced.
There is a good deal, 80 doubt, Of
sentimental determination, and
equally sentimental resolving TO do
better, either in respect to smoking, or
graver sins; but the persons who
really profit much by selfexamination
and resolutions for reform are not the
ones who wait Tor New Years Day.
The man or woman who really finds
the pas: failure, and honestly re.
solves to begin again, will succeed just
as we'll if the start is made on any
other day Of the three hundred and
sixty.fve. The chances are, indeed,
for better success. The New Year
resolution, through frequent fracture,
has come into disrepute, aud there is
a widespread belief that il is made to
be broken. He, therefore, who makes
one aud keeps it, disappoints his
friends and the general expectation,
which is an unpleasant thing to do.
The resolution maker who selects some
other day avoids this unpleasantness.
Still, there is something in the ira.
ditions of the day which marks it,
above its three hundred and sixty
four brethren, as a day OF beginnings,
Of new hopes aud new purposes. IL
it we're not for the things which never
happen this year, but are always 60
ing 10 happen next-the houses We
are to build, the fortunes we are 10
make, the journeys we are to take,
the improved health We are to have
life would be n dreary business. And
as there is 10 be "next" year,
which must, in some way, be divided
from this, the first Of January an
swers an excellent purpose, and well
deserves the recognition we accord it
Of social gathering and glad, hopeful
greeting. "The thought Of our past
years in me doth breed perpetual
benediction,' sang the poet Words
worth but with each recurrence of
the day we celebrate, we learn that
the thought OF coming years breeds
also benediction---the benediction of
hope Detroit Free Press.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

New York has no disposition to
boast of her supremacy as the COM
mercial metropolis of the country, but
a little pride is certainly justified by
the showing that of the s19S, 159, ,676
receipts from customs collected by the
Government last fiscal year $685..
90S,562 were collected at this port,
leaving but s59.25l,l13 to be col
lected at all other ports combined.
the figures boast enough of them.
selves.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

A USEFUL LIFE.-" Sometimes,
remarked Fogg, removing his cigar
slowly, 81 wish / bad never been
born. or that / had died in childhood. "
He pulled away for moment or two,
and then added, with something like
bis customary cheerfulness Well,
we'll, | have not altogether lived in
vain; have made a fairly good hus-
band for Mrs. F., a woman who never
could have got anybody else to marry
her. = Boston Transcript
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Postmaster General james says that
official life has been disappointing to
him, but philosophically adds; 81
suppose that every boy has an ambi.
ton when he starts out in life. | be-
gan as a printer, and, without any
idea of achieving so much fame, l
hoped to emulate Franklin. He was
Postmaster General of the United
States, and inasmuch as | reached the
same position from a similar begin.
ming suppose ought to be salts.
fed."
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Dutch fishermen kill their fish as
soon as they take them from the wa.
ter, preventing them from dying
slowly and having their tissues soft
ened. The superiority of the flavor
of the fish killed by Dutchmen when
compared with those which die slowly
in French markets is, says NJ. Baule,
very great.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03
MEXICAN GIRLS ADoRNMENTs.-

MEXICAN Girls ADoRNMENTs.- Il
saw something the other night that l
shall not soon forget-a bevy of
young girls wearing freflies in their
hair. AS they moved about in the
dimly lighted corridor playing some
girlhood game, | know not what,
their living jewels flashed and gleam-
ed and glowed as never diamonds did.
-[San Francisco Chronicle.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The best thing to do with inferio
stock, when the price of grain and
other feed is az high as it is now, is to
fatten them quickly, if possible, and
sell them, or dispose OF them in some
other way. Better give them away
than, by keeping them, to deprive the
better animals of an abundance of
food.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

For the benefit of newspapers hav-
ing large lists OF subscribers, we will
state that "the new postal law now
makes the taking of newspaper and
the refusal to pay for the same, theft,
and any person guilty of such an ac-
tion is liable to criminal proceedings,
the same as if he had stolen goods to
the amount of subscription" A
New York paper has already com
menced suit against several subscrib-
ers for such an ofiense. Estate Jour
nal.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Kentucky will never get abreast the
civilization of the age until she estab-
fishes the gibbet for murderers, caus-
es convicted thieves to serve out their
terms in the penitentiary, erects the
whipping-post for petit larceny, res
tricts the pardoning power OF the
governor, and provides amply for the
education of every child, white and
colored, within her borders. When
she accomplishes these things, then
indeed will the old darling become a
heaven upon earth.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

A circus is going to exhibit the
handsomest man and woman in the
world next season, and will offer $50, q
600 for the pair. We don't know
where the woman may be found, but
the circus can strike the male part of
the combination in this Office. Mod
esty forbids the mention of name. -
ISunday Argus.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

A breach Of promise case in Illinois
will present novel question for legal
decision. The plaintiff was a good
looking girl when the engagement was
made. Two years of courtship
passed. Then smallpox disfgured her
face, and the defendan. declined to
marry her. He claims that in view
OF her deterioration in personal ap-
pearance since he made the promise,
he is not, in law or honor, bound to
keep it.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Forbidden ground: He had been
introduced to a girl from Boston, and
together they paved aimlessly through
broken.backed alb um. "And shall
you hang up your stockingS' he in
.quired, as they talked Of Christmas.
"Sir!" exclaimed the Boston girl,
drawing herself up proudly and fix
ing her quivering glasses firmly on
her nose, "let me never hear you
speak to me again" And she swept
grandly out of the room, while the
young man went and laid his aston
ished head against the frosty window
pane.- Rockland Courier.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Flipping the penny: He was ask
ing the conductor how he managed to
build a house and buy fast horse out
of his fifty dollars month. "You
see, said this noble man, sometimes
we get way passenger who pays a
quarter or half dollar for his fare.
Well, We Zip the money up-heads
for the conductor, tails for the compa-
n.y." But" persisted the investiga-
tor after truth, sometimes it must
turn up tails. What do you thenH"
ooh" replied the conductor. with an
ineGable contempt, "then we flip it up
again" So that passenger went home
and sold out his railroad shares
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Our apology for not pre6xing the
names OF ladies and gentlemen with
Miss or Mr.. is that We are short OF
cap Ms. We trust our poverty will
be overlooked aud our apology ac-
cepted. Il Maysville Morning Call.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Guiteau objects to the "attempt to
blacken his character. We are Gu.
rious to ascertain the composition of
the paint that could effect that result
on character which lampblack would
certainly whitewash.--[ Breckenridge
News.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The members of the Legislature
who voted against going to Atlanta at
the expense of the State, and who
remained at home, now feel that they
are "solid,' while many Of those that
did go, feel that they are Sold
[ Flemingsburg Times.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The average small boy will stand
out in the rain halt day spinning his
top, but il mamma wants bucket of
water OF armiul of wood while it is
raining, he would be drowned il he
were to go out in it.--[Clinton Dem
Ocrat
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Richmond has an abundant supply
of churches. There are eleven
white and colored-or one to every
272 persons. Should there be preach.
ing at all these churches on any Sun
day, aad every man, woman and child
in town should go to church on that
day, there would be ample seating
capacity, and some to spare. Il Reg
lister.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Nor SWEARING. "A real pretty,
precise and polite young girl went to
the dentists, and having a difficult
case, had to put the rubber-dam in
her mouth, US is usual. The girl
stood it like little man, and whim-
pered, but when she had the teeth all
fixed, and came out, she was over
heard to remark TO her best friends
as she held her head in her hands,
that she never sw9re except when she
was on the witness stand, but really
thought that thing would rubber
dam head OIL. The dentist had his
head out Of the window up stairs, and
the shock threw his store teeth against
the roof OF his mouth with such force
that the shingles were knocked of in
several places. [Stenbenville Herald.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

A Virginia father has eleven chill
dren named in the consecutive Latin
minerals from Primus" to 4" I'm
decimus i" at the birth of his tenth
boy the latter was named Decimus
Ultimus," or tenth and last, but
somehow, another son followed, and
was dubbed 3" Undecimus.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

A Sedalia dentist was called into a
Pullman sleeper last week to pull a
tooth for a colored porter. The man
made so much noise that several la.
dies tainted, and panic seized the eth
er passengers. 1t will fill the soul Of
every reader with joy to know that
one man has got even with a Pullman
porter. From the fact that the dent
ist nearly killed him it is inferred
that he had had his boots blacked in a
sleeper at some time.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Harry Jones, house-painter, mar
ried three girls in Mexican county,
Pennsylvania, at short intervals, and
then ran away with the wife OF a
young farmer. Mr.. Jones says it's
all foolishness tor young man to
wait till he is getting $4,000 a year
before he marries.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

1t has been estimated, says an ex-
change, that the railroad system of
the entire world embraces lO5, 900 To-
cOmOtives, representing 3O.OOO,OOO
horsepower. The steam -engiRes-
stationary, in vessels, and olhers-are
estimated at 45,OOO,O0O horsepower.
If we admit that the nominal steam
horsepower corresponds to the effect
i've labor of three draught horses, and
that the draught horse produces the
labor of seven men, we shall find that
the steam engine actually represents
the labor of a thousand million Of
men.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Beechei asserted in a recent sermon
that four.fiths of the inhabitants of
heaven are women. The Bible con
tradicts such a theory in recording
that, on acertain occasion, "silence
reigned in heaven for the space Of an
hour. ~ Breckenridge News.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

FoREsHADowING. - Taken as a
whole, the House is organized in the
interest of great corporations, of bare
faced jobbery, aud OF unlimited ex.
travagance. Star Reuters, railroad
schemers, mining spectators. syndi-
Gates, land grabbers, Indian jobbers
and other like characters will control
legislation in the House.-[N. Y.
Sun.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

An Illinois deacon, while visiting
Philadelphia, was asked if he had
purchased any Christmas cards, and
replied, with some surprise, "Why
should II My old pack is good
enough"
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The girl is embroidering a watch
case for her young man. He has no
watch, but that does not matter. She
will give him the watch pocket
Christmas. 1t cost her l5 cents, but
she will be angry if she doesn't get
$40 present in return. The young
man she is going to give it to has a
salary of 81 a week, and can afford to
make nice present.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03
Topnood

This, my dear" said Topnoody,
coming into the house last night, "is
Christmas week, and have been
thinking, sweet wife, what I should
give you for Christmas, and what
you would give your dear Hubby
Dear Hubby, nothin'," replied
Mrs. Topnoody, looking badly dis
couraged in her wearing apparel, aud
her hair like the rats had slept in it,
dear Hubby, indeed !"
why, my dear darling, don't you
want anything, and won't you give
me something 2"
Yes"
"Well, what is it, dearyT
81 want you to give u, a rest on
calling me dear and darling and
sweet wife, and such slush, or III
give you piece of my mind as big
as a ten acre lot. How does that
strike you for a Christmas present ?"
"lt don't cost me much" replied
the good man, "but you've given me
so many pieces of your mind, my
darling dear, that | should think you
wouldn't have any left" and Top
moody put the door between himself
and Mrs. Topnoody and hurried of
down town, not TO return until his
sweet wife was in bed sound asleep. -
ISteubenville Herald.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

GENERAL DEBILITY CURED.-Chester-
Vile, Kent County, Nd, Jan. 81, lsSl.--
Feeling broken down and generally debili-
tated, | Was induced by our druggist to
try bottle Of Browns Iron BiIlers. From
the third dose, began to feel the good
effects Of your medicine, aud really think
il did me more good than any medicine |
ever took. b. ID. Quimby.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

When young man is alone with
his best girl, he is generally supposed
to be 4" holding his own"
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Clergymen, lawyers, physicians, farmers,
merchants, business men, gentlemen OF
leisure, and their women folk and children
all use Browns Iron Bitters. IL keeps
them well.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Ifa man really wants 10 know Of
how little Importance he is, let him
20 with his wife TO the dressmaker's.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Bishop Elder has issued a circular
against round dancing, but the man
with a hornet in his trouser leg will
be allowed TO dance round CD.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

PLEASURES OF SoCIETY.-"I sup
pose the McGushes will make a great
many presents this year, - remarked
one lady to another, as they met yes
terday afternoon. "Oh, yes, indeed, -
was the reply, 81 just saw their car
riage stop at a 81 store
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

The babble of an infant is more and
less than speech; it is not measure
and yet it is song; not syllables aud
yet a language; murmur that be.
gan in heaven and will not finish on
earth; it commenced before human
birth, and will continue in the sphere
beyondI These lispings are the echo
Of. These beautiful thoughts end
with a reference TO Jones Teething
Syrup, which we omit.-[Texas Sift
ings.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

For Colds, Coughs, Bronchitis and all
affections Of the Lungs, take Ayers Cherry
Pectoral.
Semi-weekly interior journal., 1882-01-03

Darling, this potato is only half
done" Then eat the other half, love-"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-08-21

dor SALE-l50 lots IN Arlington Hills ad-
II dition. Terms liberal. B. r. Schurmeier,
III East Fifth street, between Jackson and
Sibley. 1904
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-08-21
Garfield Hospital Subscriptions

WASHINGTON, Aug. 20.-Among the sub.
scrlptions recently received for the Garfield
Memorial hospital are The following: VIM.
Window, 500; president of Hayti, S1O0; min.
lister Of state OF Hayti, $l25. The contribu-
tons from Hayti were accompanied by letters
expressing sympathy with the project. The
letter of President Solomon is dated Port au
Prince, Aug. 9th, and says:
81 applaud and join in the noble purpose
of the citizens of the United States
OF America to erect monument to
the memory of their very much regretted
President Garfield. At the news of the out
illustrious victim and to the great republic.
To-day she sends her contribution for the
erection of the Garfield hospital. Be pleased
to accept mine, Mr.. Minister, with the assur-
ance CT my most disting uished cOnsidera-
ton. (signed), SALoMoN."