National Republican., 1882-01-14
FUN, FACT, FICTION.

"Forelgncr"-wes Point Is place on the TIud-
son River where young men are taught dancing al
Government expense.
The battle between Generals blackburn and Bur.
bridge is still raging we go to press Heavy losse,
Of stationery are reported on both sides.
"As near as can figure out the late Mr.. Chandler
does not seem to have been infatuated With me.
My patent fronteote is working spendidly this
winter."-Rodd Commissioner Hayes
The Richmond pnpers describe the suffering
which has been caused among the poor people Of
that city by the recent heavy snow, the deepest
which has fallen there for many years.
II must have astonished the Indy clerk when
genuine 1Ioosier entered one of our bookstores
last week and nskcd for Helen's Dlozcs" by
John llabberton.-NeD York Connie cidi.
A little heat that can't be beat lhcwindow open
wide little breeze. little sneezc, mud you're
the doctors pride. Seventeen dollars and twenty
I'VE cents for ten visits.Elmird Telegram.
The Hon. Ben Hill Is able TO remark that tho
Independent movement in Georgia does not
amount TO much. Pooh to you-pooh pooh to
youl" is evidently Mr.. Hill's subtle policy.
u notice that Mr.. Pendeton appears ns the irss
dark horse Of the season. When get my
sulky creased and n new driver up George will
think there is going to be horse races J.
7iidep.
master to Investigate the defalcnton of Thomas
Ambrose, late clerk Of the Federal Court at Cincin-
natl reports deficit of $50 767. The culprit Is be-
lieved 10 be solourning in Manitoba.
Note by our economic editor: What's the good
OF purchasing a new diary when the old one is
only half fu2-New York Commercial Advertiser
The man who wrote the above is better off than
his diary, for he is wholly and entirely full.
tits to be hoped that Public Printer Defrees viii
not allow the StalwNrt newspapers to worry him
nto resigning ty their uncalled. for and lima
tured attacks.-Iropdcnce Pres (TVhte,d,o Reid
Dcm) There is no danger OF Dcfrces resigning.
lie hasn't deconcy enough.
No man who has never written book can COM
prehcnd the awful JOY which fills tho soul of the
author as he discovers the offspring of his brain
sardwichcd in among number of other discarded
volumes and marked "Your choice for ten
cents."-NetU York Commercial AdratisT.
A. J. Houston, son of General SAM Houston re-
Gently wrote TO friend that, II his faher had not
been dying when the war began, 1.-The soil of Texas
IN ight have been as red as that of Virginia, but
she would have stood by the Union" General
Houston died in 1862, lamenting the civil war and
the secession ofhis State.
Some little girls in a Brooklyn Sunday school
were studying the history of David, the passage
for the day being that which describes the shep-
herd boys victory over Goliath. Tho teacher
asked the question: Now can any of you
little girls tell me who killed the giant?' Quick
as thought, one of the smallest responded Jack"
The Democrats are very anxious to have the Re-
pubicnns forget all about the war and its issues;
but ye gods how they do like to Ego fol" Fed
eral officer who bnppenad to punish guerrillas in
the border Statesl Blackburn vs. Burbrdge ia
a case in point. There is to be no moro bloody
shirt" In politcs-unless the Democrats choose 10
introduce it--Giobe- Democrat.
This is good little boy. 1t is Christmas eve,
and ho has crawled under the bed. What Is ha
doing there? lie is watching for Santa Claus. lie
expects his stockings TO be filled with toys and
candies. Does he want the toys and candies? No.
he only wants to knew whether his parents have
been lying to him. This boy will grow up TO be
political reiormer,-Brookyn E0gle.
It was in the infant class of a Salem Sunday
school. The children were asked what sort of a
place Jesus was born in. but they were slow to an-
swcr. To lead them along the teacher inquired
what q horse eats out Of youngster of four held
up his hands and said, 81 know, teacher" Being
requested to tell what he knew, he responded, "A
basket tied TO his nose" That ended tho first
lesson.
Sumter County, like Edgefeld Is bull.dozcd
section Of South Carolina, and from Sumter
large exodus of negroes is preparing. corre-
spondent of the Charleston Netrs and Courier says:
leave the county in the carly spring. The fnrm-
ing interests greatly imperiled. The complaint
is: High rents, high taxes the stock and election
laws"
Mr.. william German Cunningham, better
known as Willie Seymour, stage manager of the
Madison Square Theatre, was married the other
day in New York TO Miss May Caroline Davenport,
sister Of Mrs. Fanny Davenport Price. The cere-
| mony took place in the presence of few friends
In f,a nfih ihn Tran
IIoughton, assisted by the Rev. Mr.. Mallory, OIL
ciating.
The Detroit Free Press says that one Chicago
New Years caller drank fifteen glasses of wine,
ten of beer, six of whisky, three of cider, and
eight cups of coffee, and the next morning ho
didn't even have headache And we believe
it.. Nor any other Kind of ache. But If he didn's
have cooling board under him it was because
the undertaken had not yet been notiGed-Norris-
to,Dn Herald.
the gentlemen who rose up and shouted three
months ago that the Republican party was q unit
| for the retention of the old Cabinet and that Il
President Arthur did not want to provoke a storm
of indignation which would wreck his admins.
traton before 1t got out of the harbor he must keep
such as would stay, are going to bring the storm
as advertised, 1t would seem to be time for them 10
be about it.-MdncheS.er (N ny Mirror.
Something of a change. When nm Austin school,
master entered his temple OF learning few
mornings ago he read on the blackboard the
| touching legend: "Our teacher Is donkey"
| The pupils expected there would be n combined
cyclone and earthquake, but the phlosophic
redngoeue contentcd himself with adding tho
word driver" TO the legend and opened the
school with prayer, as usual-7eros SVfiqgs.
Representative William II. FELTON,, of Georgia.
| Is announced TO make political address in
Augusta, that state, on Tuesday, 3lst instant His
| aubippI IL TO he thp Dplitipo1
the probable future of parties in this country,
and the address will be looked forward to with
interest MS likely to afford the first public state.
ment of The purposes and expectations of the In-
dependents Of Georgia in their new movement.
1t looks as If the opposition 10 ex-senator Sar-
gents appointment as Secretary of the Interior had
an eye single to partisan and personal advantage
rather than to the public good. Among the Demo-
Gratis, Senator Beck, of Kentucky, is frank enough
to say that Sargent would be the strongest man
and the shrewdcst man whom the President could
take into his Cabinet" and that he would be the
| worst man for the Democrats whom Arthur could
| nominate" This explains some things in the
| kicking of the Democrats and "assstant Demo-
crals" over the prospect Of his selecion--Giole- e.
Democrat
The man John Mccullough Is MS great as McCul-
Tough the actor He lives quietly but elegantly
enjoying the society of his friends as only gen.
tleman of genius and culture can. He has sis
ter living in Scranton, Pa, happily married, and
when the Centennial swamped their slender
| finances and mortgage remained on their home
the great actor quietly took holiday and the
train for Scranton, paid OF the mortgage unbc-
| known" TO his good Presbyterian sister, and lei
81 1000 for her besides, Whether rs man, agen'
temau, or an actor, John McCulough's life proves
the truth of Napoleon's saying "The great hear
makes the great soldier"
NGaf.