The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
AN ACCESSION TO THE FAMILY.


'.Well, well, WE'LL" said Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, with grin that involved his
whole head, and IN effort at a tip toe
tread that shook the whole house.
''And SO it's girl, nv DEAR"
Mrs. Spoopendyke smiled family and
Mr.. Spoopendyke picked up his heiress.
"!ts the image of you," said she, re-
garding with some trepidation Mr..
Spoopendyke's method of handling the
infant.
~ don't see how you make that out"
said Mr.. Spoopendyke gravely. II
don't know when my nose looked like
the thumb part of boiled lobster claw.
Do understand you that my eyes
bear any resemblance to the head of q
screwp'
81 mean the general features" muir
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke.
''The general features seem to be all
mouth" retorted Mr.. Spoopandykc,
examining his acquisition. 'If our
general features are at all alike, my
visage mus. remind you of an earth
quake. Hi ! kilchcc kitchee! What
makes her fold her legs like that"'
''She can't help it," reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke. They'll straighten out
in time"
mo time like the present." quoted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, and he took his
daughters feet and commenced pulling
her limbs. 81 don't want any handy
legged first in this family while I'm at
the head of it."
Naturally the baby began to cry and
Mr.. Spoopendyke essayed to soothe it.
eli! kitchee! kitchee! kitch-ee-eer'
he chirruped. Great Scott, what q
cavern! Any idea how much this mouth
weighsp Hi! kitchee! kitchee! You'll
have 20 get that mouth rooted in before
cold weather. What's the matter with
her, anyway"
perhaps you hurt her. Let me take
her. please" pleaded helpless Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
"She's dong we'll enough. Hi! you!
Hold up! Haven't you anything to
catch her mouth in? It's splitting all
over -he neighborhood. Hi! TOpsy,
Genevieve, Cleopatra, dry up! Pm
going to have trouble breaking this
young ones temper, can see that.
Here! bend the other way once!' and
Mr.. Spoopendyde tried to straighten up
his offspring without avail.
'Let her come TO me, do, please"
moaned Mrs. Spoopendyke, and Mr..
Spoopendyke was forced to hand her
over.
swell. that's quite baby" said he.
nursing his knee and cycling the infant.
whats those bumps over its eyes forp
What preponderance of intelligence do
they representa-"
"You mustn't talk so," demonstrated
Mrs. Spoopendyko. ''She's the hand
soonest child you ever saw"
"Well, she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any further with
this procession. Here, take your
hands out of your mouth, can't you?
Why don't you put her hands DOWN."
"Why, all babies do that" explained
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "YOu can't stop
that"
"rm going to try" said MIR. Spoop-
endyke, "and / don't want to be inter-
fered with in bringing this child up.
Here, you, MaudS. Bonesetter, put your
hands in your pockets! Don't let me see
any more nail chewing or you and I'll
get mixed up in an argument. She gets
that from your family, Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke"
"Say, dear, don't you want to go and
order some things?" asked Mrs. Spoop-
enkyke.
mo" rejoined her husband, II want
to see this youngster. Where's her
chin? Do babies always have their
upper jaw set right on their shoulders ?
Kitchee! kitchee! Her scalp comes
clear to tie bridge of her nose. Idon't
believe she's quite right. Where's her
forehead? Great Moses! Her head is
all on the back part! Say, that baby's
got to be pressed. That's no shape"
Get away" exclaimed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke Indignantly. ''She's perfect
angel. There's nothing in the world
the matter with her,"
'Of course you know" growled MIR.
Spoopendyke. "You don't want any
thing more than fog horn and a mis-
spent appropriation TO be an orphan
asylum. If I had your faith and the
collie I'd make living as foundling's
home! She'll be old enough to spank
in a week, won't shep"
mo, she won'tr' said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. "She'll never be old enough for
that"
"rn bet she WILL" grunted MIR.
Spoopendyke, ''if she isn't, she'll get it
before she natures up to that period.
That's all. Let me take her. Here.
let's have her."
But Mrs. Spoopendyke fatty refused.
keep your dod gastei baby, then"
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke. eff you
know more about babies than do, then
keep her. The way you coddle her one
would think she was new paste for
the complexion. If you had one more
brain and a handle, you'd make
fair rattle box! Fit you up with q
broken sofa and grease spot and
you'd do for q secondhand nursery"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke started off to
find his friend Specklewottle, who con-
graduated him, and started off with
him to assist in the selection of an over
coat and pair of ear muffs as a pre-
oox o~ainSf tho onnrnanhin0