Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-06-22
PUgGEST PARAGRAPHS.

The watermelon is like q book. ID
isn't read until II L. opened.
What word OF seven letters viii read
the Same backward7 "Reviver."
The "tender leaves of hope" are
those taken when she hopes he viii
come again.
The parting gives me pain" - the
man eaid when he had . troublesome
tooth extracted.
II boy gets on the wrong "traek" Il
shows that bis fathers "switch" has noe
had fair chance.
In 1869 Bismarck wrote q poem.
Justice is slow but sure, and he is nov
stricken with neuralgia,
"Tm sitting on the style, Mary" a.
the fellow said when he coolly sAt down
on his sweetheArt's bonnet.
OF all the duels fought in Paris Last
year but eight resulted seriously. Our
youth should be induced 10 give up
baseball for duelins.
A Miss Spence, Of Illinois, went cut
the other morning TO get some meat for
breakfast, and eloped with a railroad
man. She'll find him tough.
Buffalo Bill has made nearly $780,
600 this season. 4 broad brimmed hat,
long hair and fancy top boots pay a.
we'll as brains in some professions.
There is no evil without its COM
pensation," said the young man; ''ths
shorter the summer, the less interest,"
there will be to pay on the ulster"
Americans are great scribblers. Even
the lunAtics on BlAckvel's Island edit
and publish paper. And they are NOS
the only lunatics engaged in the buSi-
ness.
When q man tells 9 story that he
thinks is funny, and nobody laughs.
why does his face naturally fAll7 Be-
cause It is pulled down by the force Of
gravity.
Concentrate all your energies on
one thing and you will succeed" says
the philosopher. How about the man
who devotes his whole time to the prob
lem Of how TO make Q living without
work?
Small Boy" Say, pa. can't 60 and
see the showT' Hard hearted father
mo, my son, but IL You want TO see As
Herce-looking animals As ever showed
their teeth, Just eat q piece of ninOs
pie and couple of cuoumbers before
going 10 bed"
Don Carlos, the vould.be king Of
Spain, and his wife have parted. The
cause Of the disagreement is not given,
but the neighbors say she used the
royal scepter to stir soap With, and set
hen on fourteen duck eggs in his
kingly crown.
"Do the wonders Of nature ever move
your asked the philosopher of the
man who had the hAbit Of skipping
away in order to save paying rent bills.
"No," was the reply, &c 1 get moved for
half rates I have . yearly contract
with an expressmzn."
81 met Mr.. Miggles to-day" re-
marked Mrs. Chippick. "He's quite =
changed man. hardly knew him. he's
so chipper aud lively" Indeed" re-
sponded her husband, grsvely. "Hov
very strAngei 1 read in the paper thai
his wife sailed for Europe last week"
They we're discussing religious ques-
tions. Said Brown: II tell you thAs Il
the other animals do not exist AftsR
death neither does man. There is no
difference between man and . beAst.@
"If anybody could convince me Of THAI
Il would be you, Brown" replied DeA-
con Jones. demurely.
The poet Dryden was 30 engrossed
with his books that he found little time
to devote 10 his family. Upon one oO-
casion his wife said 10 him: ~ wish I
was . book. and then you'd pay me
some attention" whereapon, Il Ii
said. that the poet ungallantly replied:
"I wish you were an almanac, ny dear.
I then could change you every yeAr."
To church The tvo together went
Bosh, doubtless, on devotion bent.
The parson preached with hnsut ease.
On Pharisses and SAddacees
And aa they homawArd slowly WALKED
The lovers on the sermon talked.
And he-he deeply loved she maid
In eogt and tender accents sAids
Darling, do yon think that We
are Pharisee and saddnceege
she flashed on him her bright black eyos
In one swifs look Of vcxed surprise.
And thus to hAstenea 20 aver.
lie vas her constant worshipers
"Baf. darling, { iesist e ssia be,