Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-06-03
WIT AND WISDOM.

IF YOU wish to know the climate of
any high mountain, why go to it and
climb it.
You can't make farmer recede from
his habit of re-seeding his soil. Rome
Sentinel.
WHAT'S in name? That which we
cauli-fower by any other name would
taste as good.
TRAVELLING in Russia must be trying
to one not versed in the measures OF
distance in that country.
"THE proof of the pudding is in the
eating," but it's the proof of the pie
that maddens the printer. .-Springfet
News.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON amassed
fortune of over 100000. He didn't
make money as fast as Billy Emerson,
but he saved more.
YoUNG man don't marry a "gilded
butterfly" Marry good-looking girl.
The butter will fly fast enough when
you get to housekeeping.
BAsHrUL lover to his belle: would
that had three Kilograms of dyn 4mitep,
Belle: "Why, monsieur ?" Bashful
lover: " To break the ice between us"
THr hides of all the cats in America
would be worth $4,000, 600 to COM
merce. And it's fearful shame to have
so much property lying idle.-Boston
Post.
VANDERBTLT's fortune is said to be
$500, 900, 900. The weight of this in
silver would be 1875 tons. A pretty
big bundle to get through the eye of
needle.
A WAC, speaking of friend whom he
suspected of living altogether beyond
his means, observed that he believed he
"would owe several Thousand dollars
after all his debts were paid"
Mrs. MAcKEY's daughter is pro-
nounced 10, pretty and reserved" and
the Lowell Courier won iers who she Is
reserved for. For her future husband.
no doub -NorristoiCn Herald.
"WoMAN," says Mrs. Eastman, sis a
problem" So she is and Though a
problem we can never hope to solve, it
is one that we can never, never be will
ing to give up.-Boston Transcript.
TIE genius who telegraphed that the
loss by the Racine fire was SO, 900, 900,
when it was not 81 900, 900, or anything
like it, is in the wrong field. He should
be President or Secretary of q HininG@
company.-Bos'on Herald.
"I'M NOW going to tell you true
story" said Col. Bragger, "and truth,
you know, is always stranger than
fiction" eyes, the kind that You put
in your true stories beats fiction blind"
remarked by-stander.
A GENTLEMAN givlng lecture to some
boys was explaining how no one could
live without air. He then said, "You
have all heard of man drowning; how
does it happen ?" The ready answer
was, Cause he can't SWIM"
UNDER certain conditions -four
becomes as explosive as gunpowder,
but the only drawback is that you can't
point barrel of it in fun at any of your
dear friends and have it to go off at the
right instant. ."-Detroit Free Press.
HEARTS of Oak-Angelina (who has
never seen a revolving light before)-
Chow patient and persevering those
sailors must be, Edwin The wind has
blown that light out six times since they
first lit it, and they've lighted it again
each time. ."-LOndon Punch.
PEOPLE in New York who pay exorbi-
tant rents for inferior quarters aud are
deprived of the luxury of meat by the
speculative rise in prices will be pleased
to learn that the spectrum of the corona
has been successfully photographed at
Soham, Upper Egypt, for the first
time.
Cook: Madame, may ask you for
my testimonials" Mistress "What
do you expect me to write you worthless
creature ? Surely, cannot say that
am satisfied with you" Cook: "Isn't
necessary. Only write that remained
with you three months. That will be
my best recommendation"
A GERMAN actor, anxious to secure
some applause, and unable to pay for
claque, secured places in the gallery for
his nine children, and instructed them
carefully as to the moment when they
should clap their hands and shout,
'Bravor' The moment arrived at last,
and, to his amazement, a chorus of nine
called out, "Bravo, papa, bravo -
FrankJurter Zeitung.
DEsrISY:-Three maidens, bright and pretty
as can be.
SO that | scarce can choose between the
three.
Sat last Sunday evening in the gallery.
The first her mother joined when church
was done.
And two were left wanted only one.
The second met some other girls. and took
Her homeward way with them-without
look
The third another fellow got--while
Went home alone. Can this be destiny?
-Lo,ceH Citizen.
JoHNNIE's diagram of monkey
A monkey is blame funny insek You
can't tell how many feet he has, cause
he amt made up his mind yet whether
his front feet is hands or feet, an he
uses 'em both waze. When he smiles
his ieechers work hard enuff to pan out
somethin' ginowine, but the real flavor
don't seem to be fetched out. Monkeys
hang on tree just like a prapevine,
but there's more meat to 'em. Monkeys
don't dress enough to suit most folkes,
an, besides, their clothes is made of
such thin stuff that it wares off wen tina
sit down.
AN old lady who was in the habit of
declaring, after the occurrence of any
event, that she had predicted it, was
one day cleverly ''sold" by her worthy
IA.