The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-01-19

The prayer, "Give me neither
poverty nor riches" is interpreted
in Chicago to mean about a quarter
of million.
Patrick on the zebra-'Phat kind
of haste is that-the mule wild his
ribs on the outside Of his shkin en-
tirelyr'
Do not tell a man he lies. 1t is
vulgar. Say that his conversation
suggests to your mind a summer
resort circular.
There's always room at the
top" said the customer when he
saw the way the grocer filled the
measure with potatoes.
The clam has a larger mouth, in
proportion to its size, than human
being, yet a clam never talks abo ut
its neighbor.
When a man says he make his
living by keeping a country tavern,
isn't it sort of declaration of inn
dependence.
1t is a mean man who will fool
flies by having the wax figure of
DllO-LCduCu Lltil1 III Ills IOOu W dO-
tract them from him.
Jones says that after trying for
years to photograph his girl on his
heart, all he got from her in the end
was q negative.
The first thing that some women
will want to do when they get to
heaven will be to hunt for broom,
and dust and clean house.
1t is said that all fashionable sad
horses at Newport have their
tails banged. The questionable
mules have their ribs banged.
Women BARRIERS are multiplying.
If they have pretty mugs they will,
no doubt, keep their customer in
hot water all the time.
Drug stores in Maine and Kansas
are closing up for want of custom,
it having beed decided that rock
and rye is not a medicine.
One redeeming feature in Nor
monism seems to be that it does not
throw the burden of a support of a
husband on one woman.
What is the difference between
laudanum and Abraham of old?
One is the juice of the poppy and
the other the poppy of the Jews.
Biologists are agreed that the
earth is millions of years old. The
mountain tops have been bald as far
back as we can remember.
The girl who was locked in her
lovers arms three long hours
explains that it wasn't her fault.
She claims he forgot the combination
The Old Testament will not be
revised for three years yet. People
will have to break the ten com
mandments as they are, for the
present.
"Do you think you will be able
to pull throughT' anxiously in
quired the needle of the thread.
Eye guess So" was the curt re-
Spouse.
In the good Old Testament day it
was considered miracle for an ass
to speak, and now nothing short of
a miracle will keep one quiet.
Nothing in the world yields larg
er and quicker returns on the |
invested than poking a wasp
with your finger to see if he feels
well.
Some men when they go to
church never think of studying the
frescoeing on the ceiling until the
collection plate is being passed
around.
A very sweet breath is said to be
IN indication of blood poisoning.
We fear that blood poisoning is not
'pidemic in the United States.
y person once sent a note to n
vaggish friend, requesting the loan
'fhis moose paper, and received in
eturn his friends marriage GER
ificate.
Why is wine that has been bot
led for years like an unmarried la
ly of advanced age? Because it is
Id made, and none the worse for it.
Severe. Frugal landlady at
boarding house-''Coming home to
Inner, Mr.. BrownT' Hearty board
r-"Well, p'raps. If 1 don't feel
1t seems a little strange that
ans should always be found in a
ride mouthed bottle. Only Jim
ans frequents the narrow neck ed
,ottles.
What this beloved land needs IS
class of reformers' who don't have
o stop every fifteen minutes to
xplain a little cTookedness in their
wn record.
S-a-a V, father, l learned some
hing new at school to day" "What
as ity' Il learned to say Yes, sir
nd No, sir" Did your ''Y s."
A reporter of California free
ght says; Sol. Bagges was
hot once in the left side, once in
ght shoulder, and once in the
saloon adjacent"
a red haired Englishman says,
nat in his native country they call
i'm an auburn haired blonde, but
re in America they call i'm red
led sun of gun.
Exchanges are republishing di
ctions "How to treat your watch"
at we don't want to. 1t costs ,
ore than a poor man can afford
treat the other fellows.