Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-09-30
NEWSPAPER WAIrs.

| The army. worm passes its own appropri-
tions over the veto of the farmer who runs
the field. The army-worm seems to have
| Congressional qualifcations-[Te Texas Sift.
iDgs.
Rhode Island is a little State, and ex-
I'Governor Sprague knew it when he rose in
rebellion against it. 1t was a cowardly
proceeding ON the Governors part.-[Bos-
ton Advertiser.
| Sam as a critic-"All the worlds a
stage, Sam, and the men and women merely
players" Eyes, massa, but if OATS SO
where you goin' for to get yer audience and
orchistry 2"-[Boston Commercial Bulletin.
"What is pessimist, papa!" asked a
bright lad. "a pessimist, my son, said
the old man, is enc who would find fault
| with his seat in heaven, if he ever got
| there. IN. Y. Commercial Advertiser.
The guests have dined and the host
hands round case of cigars. 81 don't
smoke myself" he says, but you will find
them good-my man steals more of them
than of any other brand ever had. ~ Phil
adelphia Times.
A stranger called at forty. eight different
houses in Cleveland and asked, lis the
boss home?" There was no man home in
any one instance, and yet forty-seven of
the women promptly replied: 8 Yes, sir !;
what do you want? - Detroit Free Press.
A young girl being asked recently, as she
returned from the circulating library with
the latest new novel, if she had ever read
Shakespeare, tossed her pretty head and
answered Shakespeare? OF course /
have l read it when it first came out. 4"
lex.
Egyptian view OF the bombardment of
Alexandria. First Egyptian (contemplat-
ing the ruins -"still they say it has been
done as friendly power" Second Egyp.
tan" Thank heaven, then; for what
would they have done if they had been at
war with US ?''-[ Exchange.
"Then you caught your boy stealing, did
you - said a suburban woman to her neigh.
Dor over the fence. "Yes, and it most
broke my heart" "What did he steal %
He stole two big apples from the store.
wouldn't have cared go much if he had
taken enough to make a couple of pies. -
Boston Globe.
81 say, old fellow, where is your sweet
hesrt-the girl you're engaged to? She's
here to.night, isn't she ;" "She is. Do
you see that blonde in pink over there?"
" That magnificent creature with the dark
eyes: Yes. By jove, Old boy" "My
girl is the one alongside of her on the left. ="
New York World.
How many children have You now 2"
a lady asked an old servant the other day,
Fourteen" he replied. "a large family,
indeed" Eyes, ma'am," said the philo-
sophie retainer; "'but you see | am not
like many of my neighbors I've never had
any churchyard luck with my children
they all lived. 81 London Truth.
A boy paid his first visit to one of the
public schools the other day as scholar,
and as he came home at night his mother
inquired: ''Well, Henry, how do you like
going to school? ?" Bully" he replied, in
an excited voice. 81 saw four boys licked,
one girl get her ear pulled, and big boy
burned his elbow on the stove. l don't
want to miss day. Exchange.
Unto Pawtucket poet is born. He is
not as yet the peer of the sweet singer of
Michigan in the musical flow of his num-
bers, nor are his verses marked by the
weird strange fancies that haunt the mel.
aucholy songs of the Badger warbler. But
there IS quaint rustic beauty and sim.
plicity about them that at once appeals to
the waste basket. Now when he gets
through describing the cold Grist Mill "
and passes on to the miller:
And the miller, with his gray locks, Joe Brown,
And his face calm and mild.
With his rustic team, the heifer and cart?
remember him. though was but child.
Oft have stood on those rocks, Joe Brown,
In summer, and fished for hornpout;
have memories Of those bygone days
Which time never blot out.
That's 80. Time never blots out the
capture of hornpout. One canhot but
admire the cautious manner in W hich the
poet, while he ohronicled the fact that he
and Joe Brown ished for horppout,
avoids placing himself on recotd as to
whether they caught any. The Iresump.
tion is they did. Not. Il Burlington Hawk
eve