The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-04-02
ELI PERKINS ON LYING.
Eli defends IenOoent Lying before
the Y. M. G. A.

Eli Perkins departed from his set
lecture last nigh, delivered before the
| Y. M. G. a., and crowded house.
and made some wise remarks about
lying:
Now, my friends, there has been
good deal said about lying in this
country lately. ] confess that I have
been called great liar myself. In
fact the Tyre bAs been struck great
many times. laughter You re-
member that Henry Watterson. of the
Louisville Courier Journal, said pub
licly on the steps of the hotel at
Saratoga, last summer, that be was
personally acquainted with three of
the biggest lisrG-the biggest, living
liars in the world, and when they
asked him who they were he said:
"George Alfred Townsend is one and
Eli Perkins is the other twol" Great
laughter. Now. my friends, speak.
ing of lying, I maintain that all great
humorists are great liars, and that
the funniest men have always been
the biggest liars. But l do not say
vics versa that all greatliars are great
humorlsts. II this were the case then
the lawyers would be the funniest
men in the world. Laughter. The
lie to be funny, Aust be purely inuo-
cent-it must be told to make our
feliow-meu happy and to harm no
man, or it must be told to make
wrong ridiculous as did tie satires
of don Quixote," "Ginx's Baby"
JuvenaI and Dean Swift. In fact, the
lie must be an innocent Baron Nun
chsusen lie. # the old bumorists
were not great lisrs, then Dean SWift's
Tale of Tub" was true story.
Gulliver's travels were as true as
Moody's sermons. Thsckerays "Yel
low Plush Papers" we're Sunday school
tracts, aDd Baron MSuchsusen's four
hundred gigantic lies were ss true as
Mscauley's History OF England.
Almost all fun is exaggeratiou, all
exaggeration is lying. Mark Twain
is a fearful liar. Show me q single
truth in Max. Adler's elbow Room"
Artemus Wards works are all pure
fictions, pure lies, with no satire. but
told simply to produce innocent
laughter. Laughter cannot be pro-
duced without acting, painting, or
writing an eXaggerRtion-in plain |
English, without acting, painting, or
writing an innocent lie. The humor
Gus artist, the csricaturist like John
Leeck aad Oruikshsnk, had no other
elements but to lie to draw upon to
produce laughter. They had to make
a long nose, 3 big ear, crooked leg,
or cockeye. No one ever laughed
at true picture. If live man really
looked az Cruiksbank or John Leeck
painted him, We would shed tears at
his mournful condition. If a real
man acted like Don Quixote, we |
would weep at his mfsfortunes.Some-
times people laugh at a great truth,
for truth is often stranger Sounds like |
a bigger lie) than fiction. This has
always been my great trouble. |
Laughter. 1 have generally told |
such great truths, that the people |
would laugh because they thought |
they were lies. So I have got the
reputation of being worldly minded |
humorist, when, in fact, l am a
great truth-teller. To illustrate: One
night 1 was telling about the big
trees il California. said 1 rode into
a tree, a big hollow tree, on horse
back, and then walked out at the
knot-hoIes. Laughter. The people
laughed because they thought it was
a lie, when, in fact, il was the truth.
The trees are thirty five feet in diam
eter, and the hole through them is
twelve feet in diameter-as wild e
through as barn door. To illustrate
what l mean by an innocent Baron
Munchausen story: I had an uncle
William once, who got caught in q
fearful rainstorm one night, when he
was on the way to attend a prayer
meeting at New London, Connecticut.
He started for New London on hsrse-
back but when ne got about half way
there, there arose dreadful storm.
The wind blew a hurricane, the rain
poured torrents, the lightning
cleaned through the sky, and my
uncle got in behind large barn. But
in a moment the lightning struck
that barn and Knocked it into
thousand splinteTs, and sent his horse
over into neighboriDg corn
patch. "What did you do then,
UnoIe William?" I asked. "WelI,"
,aid he. II didn't hardy know what
10 do. VAS very much discouraged,
out to tell jne honest truth-the hon.
est Connecticut truth, Eli, I went
right out in'0 the cornheld, took of
ny coat, bumped up my bare back,
and took eleven strokes OF lightning
light on my bare backbone, drew the
light ming all out OF the sky and then
yot onto my horse and rode into New
London on time to lead at the even
noprauar M oofip0 - ill.,