News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-02-02
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
New Year Reveries-General Notes.

fin sad bout it, muffin to call fur sigh
an tears an groans which kin be hear
two blocks away. We expec de Vars
pass away. We expec time to kee-
dustin right along. We expec to groy
old, an to hev gray hairs, an to cotcl
de rheumatic. OATS what we am heal
fur. If we could allus remain youn.
an purity, an part our h'ar in de mid
die, an war yaller kids an smell O
cologne, de undetaker an de grave-dig
ger would starve to death.
"My frens, in beginning de new year
doan' start out on de belief dat d,
louder you talk de mo- argument y,
hev.
"Doan' imagine dat ebery man wild &
gift of CAB am bon orator.
"When you find quiet man doan
rush off an gin him credit fur wisdom.
Some men doan' talk kase dey hev nuf.
fin to say. Silence am no mo- sign OF
wisdom dan poundin' on an empty bari
am sign of war.
eff argument won't bring a man
ober to your side of de queshun knock
in him down won't do any good.
"De man who can run up bill at de
butchers an dodge him for six months,
am not necessarily a statesman.
"De man who takes up de moas'
sidewalk, am not allus de pusson of de
drunkard wants mo- room in dis world
dan Judge of de Supreme Court.
Jealousy of your naybur am not
ambishun. Slander am a weapon used
only by towards. Hopin' desc few re-
marks won't do you any pertickilar in
jury, we will now address ourselves to
de usual programmy."
ANOTHER CLUB TAKEN IN.
The Secretary announced an official
communication from the Secretary of
the Ancient Order of Believers in
Spooks, of Logansport, Ind, asking
that the Believers be taken into the
Lime Kiln Club in body. On motion
of Pickles Smith, who said he visited
the club last summer and found every
member with his hair oiled and his boots
blacked, the Believers were voted in,
thus adding the following new members
to the Lime Kiln Club: Reuben Buck
ner, Robert Buckner, George Grant, Val
Thurston, George Rodgers, Horace
Lumer, George Fox, Lewis johnson,
George johnson, Moses Peak and Sky
Turby.
RESOLUTION OF SYMPATHY.
Giveadam Jones then offered the fol-
lowing one-horse resolution
sResoEUed, Dat dis club extends its
heartfelt sympathies to de people of
each an ebery State in which darf am to-
be session of de Legislature dis win
ter"
The resolution was adopted by vote
of 168 to 1, Elder Toots voting in the
negative to spite Samuel Shin for wax
ing him out of his first nap.
INVITED TO LECTURE.
The Rev. Penstock explained that he
was in receipt of letter from the ''In-
spired Cranks," of Defiance, o., invit-
ing him to appear before that society
on Washington's birthday and deliver
his celebrated lecture on "What is In
spir alton ?'' The invitation is extended
by such prominent members as William
Ben Davis, William Blair,
Dick Garter, Aleck Wess, James What
sci, William johnson and John Bond,
and the 81. C's" offer to charter a
freight car both ways for the lecturer,
guarantee him a pair of Arctic over
shoes and bucksaw, and will see him
to and from the depot with string |
band. Brother Gardner promptly |
granted his permission, and unless an
happens to prevent his 60
ing, the Rev. Penstock will certainly
reap fresh laurels.
PREPARING FOR PANIC.
Waydown Bebee desired to call the |
attention of the President to the fact |
that the only means of egress from
Paradise Hall was a single door, which
opened into the room. In case of fire,
and rush, calamity might occur
which would fill hundreds of Detroit |
houses with walls and lamentations.
':De President has had dat ar faek in
mind fur de las six months" replied
Brother Gardner, San now dat de |
uueshun has bin called up, 1 deem it
my dooty to arrange a programme to
prevent accident. In case de janitor
puts a stick in de stove dat has bin
loaded wild powder, or some of desc |
lamps explode, our fust dooty will be to
try an distinguish de flames. In case
Of failure, 1 will walk out of de hall |
fust, follered by Sir Isaac Walpole,
Waydown Bebee an Giveadam Jones,
at reg'lar intervals. De rest of you kin
folIer on in single file, an I fgger dat
not a coat-tail will eben be singed.
My reasons fur gwine out fust am dat
[ may see de fire engines when dey ar
rive and tell de men whar to frow water
to keep our safe from heatin' its con-
tents"
PRIZE AWARDED.
The time for receiving poetry entered
for the special prize offered last fall by
Waydown Bebee, having expired, that
gentleman announced that he had re-
ceived thirty-two different specimens,
Of which seven were poems, six idyls,