The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-08-18
Artemus Ward.


| III tlS thca'Ir. i'irilcu 10 ilc StaCe Hltn-
agcr and asked:
But. see herc-how many charac-
tiers will there he? want to know"
.Well. sir therc'll be our Lord you
know, and 'Caiphas,' the high priest,
and 'Nicodcmus' and twelve disci-
pies"
Twelve! twelve disciples! Oh my
stage? I'll have forty of emp
OF course when Il manager is reckless
enough 10 think of amending the evan
CYCLISTS in this wholesale way to suit the
dimensions of his stage (granted that
he knew. which was doubtful. the ne
tual number of the discir'es) he would
not he likely To respect any authors
manuscril,. or ely ideas. And indaad,
\ few managers ever think of doing any
such thing. Their standing order in re-
gard to plays is Cut! cut! cut?' and
Philadelphia manager, who enjoyed the
fame of reducing Speed the PIow" to
single net. used to carry this practice
so far that a member of his company
once said of him: &C. woaid 'cut the
Lords Prayer down to a single SEN
tencer The manager spoken of above
is rather notorious for lis slips OF the
tongue. lie is very pnch afraid OF the
wafer, and. coming 10 New York from
Boston one stormy night on Sound
steamer, he is reported to have exclalm-
ed, as he leaped @yhore as soon as the
boat reached 4er pier. "Thahk Heaven!
| am on. sce versa once morc!
| Tl,o i,,te Artemus Ward Charles +.
| BruwRe) knew what he was about
| when he courted the company of actors
and journalists so assiduously. He took
| from them much more than he gave.
| good companion rs he was, and it was
the actors who taught him to- give en-
preston to his. irresistible Aow Of spirits
in succession of practical jokes of
harmless sort, Va. oJulical beyond
measure by their very oddity and unex-
pcctedhess. Come in here! come in
here! said he one day in Boston to the
companion WALKING with him. Come
in here; we win nave some fun" 1t
WAS Boston pic-bak.ry which they Ell
tered i place where pies were spe-
cially-where pies and nGahing but pies
were sold. wholesale and retail, all the
live-long day. Browne approached the
counter, behind which the proprietor
of the establishment was standing, and
asked. in his bland, insulating voice,
Have you any pics?" ''Pies! replied
the astounded proprietor. Eyes. pies"
"PieS!r' repeated the man, still more
dumbfcmded. "Of course-pies! Have
you any-pies?" 'Pies!r' gazed the
shopman once more, gazing ut Browne
Us if he thought him an escaped lunatic.
.'Oh, well, if you haven't got any pies,
ri inquire somewhere else; come
Jackr and he marched his friend out
of the shop again before the salesman
could recover his wits.
Artemus delighted to flip the sedate
responsibility of Boston, while loving
the place sincerely. One day, in the
early afternoon, having lecture to de-
liver that evening, some Of his friends
concluded that he would not be able to
talk so we'll ut night if he kept on talk
inc in fro,,ue If he bar ut the Parker
ilUdse. Ha@t '.oeo.Gingb Insisted on
I'm immc s sssss.. -,lin,."ninpnt and h"e-
mus, suspecting the gaMe, delcnined
to revenge himself. He iock.d arms
with two gentlemen very week known,
indeed, i'll the city-one II manager of
the leading theatre, the other a public
officer, high in the confidence and books
of the Commonwealth, and walked oil
cal and fashionable thorOughfare. Act
ing us if he was M the custody and
needed the care of his companions, and
making his voice c"nspicuously loud,
Artcmus began; 'Geh;lemen, you are
probably aware that the noble red man.
the Incompatible savage of our plains,
forests aud mountain Businesses, whom
/ have studied closely in his native |
Willis, has various modes of expressing |
the emotions which swell his generous |
bosom and of giving voice to the cere- |
monial traditions inherited from an inn |
memorial ancestry. His cries and his |
dances are equally peculiar. and he has a
particular sort of whOOp for each par
ticular occasion. The scalp dance, the
war dance, the bear dance, the dance
of skulls, each mas its appropriate hal
loo, and so has the feast of the moon,
the harvest feast and so forth But no
verbal description. gentlemen, can give
YOU an idea of these vigorous cries.
They must be heard to be appreciated
and to him who has never heard them
they are startling rs the revelations OF
a lifetime. In Illustration of what
have said, gentleman, l will now pro-
cccd to give yas an imitation of the yell
of the noble savage us, tOmahawk in
hand, he springs exultant from his am
bush upon the astounded foe"
Thcrcrpon Browne executed start
ling and tremendous war-whoop, which
made people turn for blocks around and
drew upon him the attention OF thou
sands.
81 will now give YOU" said Artemus,
after reGaining his breath, "a faint lmi-
tation of the-warriors cry as he returns
t. his wigwaifi, the scalp of his slain
enemy dangling in CORY ghastliness at
his belt"
Another war-whoop; and thus the
scamp kept up his game for mile or
so. until his friends got him at last to
his hotel.
| II was in 1868 that THE Dukes Mot
| to- was first played in New York. 1t
had been imported--the English trans
lation--by an Irish actor. Mcdonnell.
who intended playing "Lagardere;;"
VIM. Wheatley, however, Woo brong!t
it. out, took the part OF "Lagardere'
himself, casting Mcdonnell as ''Carrick-
fergus" While the piece was being
| PLAYED the draft riots broke out, anu
| business fell off to almost nothing.
Wheatley wanted to close the house,
but his contraet>forbade it, so he fell
sick conveniently, and McDOnnelPs am
bitior, was satisfied, he played ''Lagar-
der.' and DOYLE. another of the COM
panv acting "Carrickfergus." They
playcd, however, to less than would
pay for sas-bills, and at last Wheatley
| locked the house up in absolute disgust.
Old man Salisbury, quaint musician
and Briton, was in the orchestra at the
time. Some one said to him: why,
Salisbury, SEQ your house is closed
| what's the matter? 'Well, you sec" he
replied slowly ,s..McDonnell, he under
took to play 'Lag;irdere,' and Doyle he
undertook to observation-disclosures, and
the two undertakers have buried the
. piece. -
Indeed, almost all actors, who are
= really welded to their profession, UNI
consciously learn to think their life up
on the boards the real one and all else
only counterfeit and tinsel. This makes
them miscalculate. the actual proper
ton of things, but helps them to be-
v come delightful companions. Joseph
Jefferson, charming gentleman and the
most natural and unaffected of all &C
tors. is yet nearly rs much an actor off
+. the stage rs on--in both places, howev'
er, perfectly aware of the force of the
maxim 'art est celare artem." Some
actors, indeed, carry their art with
them TO the very brink of the dark'river
Eph Horn, the famous jester and min
| strel when he was diving was under tA(