The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1882-12-28
Van Nore's Daughter.in.L

Van Nore's Daughter.in.Law.
From Our Continent.
The Van Nores were present at the
creation of the world. Some people say
they made it; but one really knows bet
ter than that. If it had not been
for their unacconntable belief that
the builder of the ark that rested On
Mount Ararat was Jew, and their un-
utterable contempt for the race ofSpino-
"a and Mendelsssohn, Of Heine, Auer-
ZACH and Disraeli, they would not have
hesitated to conceive that the family
name of the Patriarch was Van Nores.
At any rate, you may understand that
the Van Nores were an immensely an
cient family, SO old as to be really worm
eaten. In the dust of the Van Nores
there were soldiers and statesmen. and
even less regarded author or two; in
this century there WAS nothing at all to
speak Of If. however, any one says
their family tree was like one of those Of
old, wide and deeprooted fir trees, some
times seen, with but a single gnarled
and lichened branch last of all its forest
glory, the best cart of 1t underground,
you can see that the person is no friend
of the Van Nores, but one whose eyes
have been hurt by the dazzle Of their
splendor, who has been forgotten at their
banQuets, looked at with a stony glare
upon the street or possibly knocked
down and bruised and ignored by their
fast horses.
Being immensely ancient. immensely
distinguished, and also immensely
wealthy, it goes without saying that the
Van Nores thought immensely well Of
themselves. They never ,soiled their
garments by contact with the crowd;
they bought their pictures and statues
straight from the manufacturers before
they had been profaned by the vulgar
gaze; they would have liked the gold
they spent cast with Van V: More device
and the die broken. They could not
universe to themselves; but they did
not care so much for that-there we're
always tutors and chap]ains and all that
to be had, after the custom of certain Of
the South Sea Island chiefs, who main
tain Fila-oma or Talking Man of Knowl.
edge. If, once in a while, they allowed
themselves to come before the public in
a matter of suffrage, twas not altogether
without the sensation of some wicked
scribe who has written the Sacred name
with unwashed hands, and, being usually
defeated, they relapsed into more pro-
found contempt Of the people than be-
fore, and talked glibly Of the advantages
of monarchy, although not without an
undercurrent O feeling that in the event
of monarch the Van Nores would be
monarchs They intermarried, Of course,
only with families of pedigree and as
sumption one degree less than-tt could
not b more than, and could hardly be
equal to-the Van Nores.
Judge, then, of the bewildered and
amazed wrath Of the Van More family,
when the son Of the house, the heir of
the name, the only male Van More left
to 20 down the ages with the weight of
the family illustriousness upon his
shoulders, married young girl in the
west, unknown, obscure, poor, and
Jewess!
More Van More had sister older
than himself, dark and imposing crea-
kulC WILL WIG dlA ANOAC AASoC, lAC AAdN q
sister younger than himself, pallid,
bloodless, with her mothers delicacv of
feature, and with nothing about her but
her haughtiness to distinguish her from
the herd of young women; he had one
Van More cousin, q little apple blossom
hardly coming up to the family require
ments; he had four Van More spinster
aunts, who, if they Quarreled among
themselves like birds in the wood, pre-
scented an unbroken phalanx Of the
family integrity to the public, and who,
with the idea that they had the manners
Of duchesses, really gave some reason to
believe them directly descended, from
Patriarch, they looked 50 extremely like
the wooden women inssthe children's toy
arks His father embodied all the dignity,
pomposity and grandeur Of all the Van
Nores before him, ifhe were the flame OF
their ashes; he had but one gift, and
that was faculty for satirical speech,
which he exercised with impunity upon
his wife-his wife, the line of whose de-
scent was so long that it had worn to
color]ess, attenuated thread in her, a
thin, pale, languid woman, of whose
condition it expresses little to say she
dared not call her soul her own, because
in looking at her, or looking through
her, rather, it was not clear that she had
a soul-a woman without intellect, with
out individuality, and almost without vi
tality. Into this assemblage More Van
More had dared introduce person alb:
solutely without a grandfather, and
would have been named ShaCabac!
Mr.. Van More and his household would
entreat this vile and vulgar intrigver,
who had thrust herself upon them, and
had thought to lift herself by pulling
them down, as she deserved. In their
heart of hearts they had q complete if
inarticu}ate, consciousness that no one
could have married the bridegroom in
question for any other purpose And
More Van More received letter Of re-
pudiation from his father, disowning
and casting him forever into the outer
darkness of the world of people who
were not Van Noree.
And who was More Van More? He was
a young man Of twelty.six years, whose
mental processes had mastered the rudi-
ments Of learning to such an extent that
he could read the newspaper and make
change. All attempts to cultivate those
mental processes much iSlrther had failed;
if he entered the university at last, it
was because tutors and proctors and
family influence, forthitous chance,
and perhaps money, all wrought togeth.
er. Entrance was all, however; before
the first term closed Mr.. Van More had
privatebut authoritative ntimation that
unless he wanted expulsion for stupidity
approaching imbecility, he had better
Withdraw his son. In hot and self
righteous fury, Mr.. Van More turned the
tables and expelled the university. He
withdrew his son with wild show 1T
anger and scorn for faculty, curriculum,
endowment and career. "They have
graduated no man who comes to any
thing for the last twenty-five yRrs!" he
said. And that the matter might be the
sooner forgotten, he gave Mr.. More Van
More a purse and q travelling compan-
ion, and despatched him to the far west.
It was probably but case of retarded
Development; perhaps he would do q
little exploring and discovering; when
he should return the affair would
have quite blown over, and he would
marry him to some maiden who
had been so well brought up
that she would feel herself taki,E pro-
ner place among nominations princes
mad LAWYERS NV l.hrrvinx a Van More of