The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1882-11-05
OLD NINETY.

We went over to the asylum a few day;
ago aud interviewed gentleman who has delusion
but II you, kind reader, win peruse the following
we believe you win conclude as did we, that there Il
method in his madness. When we entered his ruon
he drew himself up In very impressive way, an,
said;
"slr, my name is Ninety"
Ninety"
EYES, SIT; Ninety"
"And, begging your pardon, pray tell us VIVA
Ninety is9'
"Nincty, sir, Is the North Pole. -
"Thc North Polc2'
ayes, SIR
"Ah we see. Then you are the gentleman tina
so many explorers and navgators have been looking
for during the past two three hundred years 2''
"rhat am l. sir. I'm the Identical Individual
the very man. suppose they found me- what good
would that do2 Suppose they crawlcd al over me
mapped aud Chartod me, how the devil could that
bcucnt them anybody else? tell you, sir, II tn,
mines of Golconda were under my feet and thes,
Arctic adyenurers could get to me and take all tina
wealth home with them, It wouldn't pay. It's beei
amusing TO mo for n long tlno 10 know that Dutch
men, aud Spanlards, aud Portuguese, and Norwe
CLANS, and Eugllshncn, aud Yankees, nj one tim,
oranothcr, have tried to reach me. haven't wished
them any harm, but when | think they are getting
too close somewhere down near Sovcniy-six. or Sow
cnty seven, OF Sevcnty-eight, who ars friends o
niue. Just blow my breath on them and freeze then
up. and there they are. Well, what do they do
They mako themselves as comfortable as fires ant
grub and grog can make them, and take notes ant
walt TIL the sun comes; then | let up them AND
they manage to get home and write books, and tel
thnt they have been away up to Eighty two. OF
Eighty two and half, or Eighty-threc and ther
come the brass bands aud all that sort OF thing.
"Why In thunder can't they stay home and not Try
TO come up here to bother me? Hudson said he got
to Eighty In 1907 and Fhpps said he got above
Eighty In 1913. and Buchau to Eighty In 1918, and
Parry to Eighty two In 1877 and Hartsene to Seventy
kplINpy In oh nna In nd
the Swedish Expedition TO Eighty two In 1859, aud
Hall to Eighty-two In 1870. and Green to Seventy
Mares above Eighty In 1875 aud then Eighty
two In 1875. Aud what did they md when they were
on the way up there? lot OF hthy, dirty, immoral
savages, who butchered Sir John and all his men for
run: who steal on princpe-why do you know that
that scoundre Hans, who was treated well by
Kane, Is the grandcst rascal between here and Cape
Farewell?
"Tak about Science, and the Variation, and Navl-
cation It's fudge, sr-nothing but fudge. IL an
honest, seafaring had got above Sixty
Seventy, there would be Just much known about
Variation as there Is now. Talk about making good
seamen by freezing their ships solid In an Ice. pack
Why not Sink them In n diving bell for five or six
months and let them take observations down there
Talk about heroism aud pluck WHO'S TO take care
It's the qulntessenCe of id nonsense.
Then they say thatlt necessary TO chart. Chart
Why chart seas that can't benavlgated? Althatcar
be navlgated, all that Will help tho whale fishery and
the -catch, is charted now as well as the Meder
ranean Is. I've no hard feelings against the Norwe-
CLANS, spaniards, Portuguese Dutchnen, and
Englishmen who fanced there was west nor
east passage and tried 10 find tno that all right
enough, because that might have been some good tc
comNerce; but now that passage has been found and
Nordonskiold went through what good has come of
1t? Go TO Liverpool and try to ship crew for India
China, or Japan, and tell them you purpose golnI
through the breast or west passage, you'd pro-
badly get couple million TO ship. When you get your
and cargo aboard try to insure ship and cargo;
most any marine company would take 1t for about one.
tenth OF one per cent, of course.
"Gallant Franklin and his crew of ono hundred
and thirty-e ght officers and men, leaving many wild
ows and orphans, laid down their lives for nothng-i
foolish and useless sacrifice. The Ross expedition Of
1918, with ninetyfour officers and men, accomplished
quite as llttle but got back all right. SO did Buchan
find out about me In 1sD'2OP He tried to come nj
here with his two ships, the Hecla and Griper
and nlnety-four officers aud men did as little as thu
rest OF them. went home, were fced, and he stuffed
the many headed on science. Yet they hadn'
enough of me-no, sir. In 1922 Clavering and sabln
tried crack at me, but cracked back again, an,
they got away, but fearing their endcavor would b.
looked upon as big izzlc Sabine published lots o
stun about observations made with transit instru
mcnts, thermometers, clocks, aud pendulums. tina
could have been taken ahd nat been taken years he
fore, In Iaplnnd aud Spitzbergen-ts fact, sir
dead certain, and you needn't smile about IT, or II
send = cold chm through you before you know 1t
But Parry hadn't Ills belly full-durn me II he dIdn
sail for me again In 1921 In the Fury and Heca, witt
lis officers and men, and he found out more ahcu
me than lie did before
"Yet they were bound to try again. Lyon com,
a-roaring In 1924; he was Just going to reach me- h
lowed about In his old tub the Griper aud got bac
10 England-another failure. Then Parry tried agal
IN $50 20 IN the icola and Fury with one hundre
and twenty-five officers and men, and he did-noth
Ing. But he was game. He tried It again In 1927
stuffed himself with mess OF nonsense from Phipp'
voyage OF l773 and thought there was plain O
smooth Ice and snow running to my feet; so he lief
his ship, tho HGcla, In Spitzbergen, aud came
booming toward me with small boats, sleds and rein
deer. why, bless Your soul, he didn't even sh ak
| hands with my old friend, Eighty-three.
"And Franklin came In 5000. '2l-'22, ac
compished nothing, but got back all right that time
And Back tried IL In 1888. 3I-'35, but i II bet YOU
bottle of wine he did as little and MORE than III
others. Sir John Ross tried to come here IN 1922 &c
32-'SS. lie was blunt sailor was Sir John, an
he told Parliamentary committee that II there was
Northwest Passage It was utterly useless and tina
made the scientists howl-why they 70 danning hi
| ~ amt going TO bother you with long string ,
adyentnrers from America-De Haven, and Kane, an
Hayes aud Hall, and u lot OF smai-fTy gudgoOns
rhey d,d NO more than tho others. Kane would hay
made his everlasting fortune archer. I'm bustc
II he couldn't draw the longest bow of aH."
What are you doing, anyhow"
'ShOrthandr
| "What's that2''
'Inst dotting down what you say, MIR. Ninety.
| ''What for ~
For the press
'oh, / see aud I'm glad to hear 1t. Just say I
the people that say there's nothing up here. ca
| see and understand why Robinson dclyed into I'll
| bowels of Jerusalem. There was something 10 lear
tbere there had been city there, and people wit
history, traditions. literature. Aud appreciai
DR.. schliemann' labors amid the ruins OF Troy b,
what the devil can bring men up here to bother me
assure you that there has never been ANYTHING lel
| but Ice and snow. Please do what you can 10 kee
them from trying to reach me. I'm solitary cuss
excepting twoor three friends and don't want an,
| thing TO do with them. They have had warning
| enough and amt bit vindiciye. but II they Il
| II again I'll let into them worse than ever. ~
80 Maybe you n say the seekers for mo opened II
| whaling and sealng-but tell you that wlalers an
seaers succeeded away south Of ms before the flr
| mad-cap tried to come up here. What IN the biz
blazes have all these trials to reach me amounted to
Go TO your curiosity shops and scientific museums an
| you'll md Kayak or two, a few crude weapons an
tools, made by sinking Eskimos, and lot OF M OIL
eaten fur cloes some geological specimens, labele
| with bad Latin, and that's about all Now / as
| you, In all kindness, II such game is worth II
| candlep What have you given for this disgustin
truck Ioil and trouble, starvation and perishln
under my bitter breatl-gallant but misguided me
have left their bones to whlten amid Ice aud snow
| and their widows aud orphans have dragged along
sorrow poverty, aud want II has away seemed Ia NJ
that you scientific folk who label specimens In villain
Latin might let me alone n you tried right hard
| I'm fixture M here, and have never travelled IN
I've understood that In their museums the worse IN
Latin the deeper the sclence--is that soY"
80 That's about the Size Of It, -
| Eyes so I've heard Now, want YOU to under
| stand my sentiments; when 1 had Sir John In M
grip didn't blame those who came to help him ol
| OF his scrapo; their motives were good And whe
| had Kane fix thought wello those who cam
To assist him but I'm down on those who try to com
up here 10 bother mo- MhaleTs and sealers who sal
to try 10 make an honest living have my good wishes
but they must not come too close. There anothe
| tlIug-l'ye heard that fishermen lies is that so2''
Great Falls yesterday, aud caught three hundred an
forty bass IN less than two hours and none OF thel
weighed less than six pounds.n
HRemarkable; but, although wouldn't doubt yO
for the world know that the bigger the fish they
| for tho more they le-why you can't find an OF
| whaler who won't swear that he's been to Eighty
| three. Eiglty-three DO you know that no huma
being ever touched Elghty-threo, the books TO IN
contrary notwlthstandingP''
1--WE don't know anything about 1t; wo were neyc
| theTo. ~
Gwen, wouldn't try to como up here were
| you. And 1t has Amused me very much to hear IN
different theories advanced about me- Some say H.
| a fine climate up here-oh. Lord some say there
| an undiscovered race about me-great Cesar / Som
say the coolest place is Seventy seven and when 20
| come higher 1t grows warmer and more equable-
| JehOsaphat And one cranky cuss says Inn no
here at all-ouly big hole. ia like TO get m
claws on Aim. Why bless your Innocent soul
you couldn't md, among all tho scientific cranks
| the country, sap-head who hadn't dead. cerlai
plan 10 reach me, and yet men Of ability, good sea
men and good naylgators, with good ships and goo
crews, have been trying since 1928 TO come up here
and tell you again that none OF them ever louche
| Eighty-three.'
''But suppose men are ordered to look for you, m
| dear sir, how thon? '
"Thato their misfortune. admire them, TO |
sure, but let into them when they come too close
| I'D Just like TO leave here awhile aud get a fai
/ oh "a hat nnll Isut,a Oh,