The Portland daily press., 1882-09-11
Wit and Wisdom.

Nevada paper tells of citizen who was
oo+or mn nv a bear while asleep. He will be a
.,o,,cb astonisbed citizen when he wakes up and
finds where he is.-Detroit Free Press.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate Lemonade.
DR. G. G. OLMSTEAD, Milwaukee, Wis,
says: 81 use several bottles in my family. an
nually, as Lemonade prize 1t highly.
Much of Washington's fame refsts upon
Weem's story of he cherry tree. or in other
words, all on account OF a lie sir.-Boston
Transcript.
Get the best. German Corn Remover. Do
not be deceived by base limitations. Druggists.
People generally are curious to know who
Courtney sold out to in that race which he won
Boston Post
Hops and Malt Bitters is the best tonic fol-
the restoration to health and strength OF those
weakened and enervated by over-work, sick
ness, general debility or other cause. It con-
tains no mineral substance to remain in the
system and do permanent harm.
An explosion in a rice-mill blows the hui
thing up.-New Orleans Picayune.
BY taking Ayers Sarsaparilla many poo
sufferer who submits to the surgeons knife be
cause of malignant sores and scrofulous we'll
ings, might be saved, sound and whole. Th
will purge out the corruptions which pollut,
the blood, and by which such complaints arr
originated and fed.
| Black stovepipe hats will soon be ripe.-Bos
| ton Commercial Bulletin.
Colden's Liebigs Liquid Beef and Tonic In
! Wig orator promotes digestion; admirably adapt
| ed for females in delicate health. OF drug
| gists
The mosquito is little, but his brave exampl
| is contagious. He makes the most coward
| come 10 the scratch.-Boston Transcript
Do YOU feel broken down? Try Wheat Bit
tiers and jump for joy. They will restore you
| Spring water is sold in Boston at two cents
glass and several persons who have tried it pro
nounce it quite palatable.-Philadelph ia News
sAmong the most efficacious of remedia
agents are the medical preparations from tn
laboratory of Mrs Lydia e. Pinkham, Lynn
Mass.
Hay fever is going out of fashion. Quite
number of prominent persouages have neglect
ed to have it this year.-Philadelphi News
HEALY's Vegetable Tonic Pills restore al
functional arrangements of the uterus to {
normal condition. See advt. on this page.
The soothing effects of CEPHALrNE are neve
followed by unpleasant reaction. 1t is invalu
able for Nervousness.
Cetewayo is now reported to be mashed OF
an actress. That settles it, He'll never b.
any good on earth again.-Boston Post.
In cases of cramps, bowel complaints, ant
diarrhea Hop Plaster on the stomach viii
greatly assist in affording relief. Apply
promptly.
The best reason yet advanced for having
Monday washing day, the next day after Sun
day is because cleanliness is next to goodness
Lowell Citizen.
Demand it and take no other iron prepara-
ration except Browns Iron Bitters. 1t is the
best.
"Will the coming man use both hands?" is
the question asked by scientific paper If the
neighbours dog that he pets has t1eas he will
Boston Post.
Wheat Bitters. The best blood, brain AND
nerve food in existence. 1t is scientific pre-
paration which will do all that is claimed fol-
it.
Mr.. Langtry left his wife at home when he
came to this country, ard now he intends to
stay on the other side of the ocean while she
comes to this country. Can it be that the beau
tiful Lily snores?-Philadelphi News.
An unpleasant catalogue constantly beinG
printed, in which human infrmity is specified
as headache, nervousness, dyspepsia, neuralgis
| paralysis and ague, can be entirely expunged
from the records, by the use of DR.. Bensons
| Celery and Chamomile Pills.
/, Tell man lying ON lounge that runaway
team is going by and you can safely het seven
to one that he'll collide with every piece Of
furniture in the room in getting to the window
Boston Post.
TOPEKA, SAL1NA AND WESTERN RAILROAD
| bonds are destined to be very popular with jul
| dicious investors.
Out west man is considered nobody unit
he has KILLED his man" There is where young
physicians have the advantage over the aver
| age man in migrating west-Lowell Citizen