News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-10-19
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
RULES THAT SHOULD GOVERN
OUR LIFE.
How Bro. Gardner Would Like to
Have Things Generally.
from the Detroit Free Press1

From the Detroit Free Press.1
"If had chance to lib my life over
agin," said the President as a solemn
hush fell upon the meeting, 81 should
chalk down sartin fngs dat I should
'spect to come to pass, an I should
chalk down some odder sartin' fngs dat
I shouldn't reckon on onless cyclone
got loose an tore down de fences. 1
should look fur
"De man who eats onions to stop an
argy wild cherry man he meets gwine
down town.
ST should 'spect men who owed de
moas' an war de least able to pay to
war de bes' clothes an have de moas'
change when circus comes along.
"I should 'spect my naybur to empty
his ashes on de spot moas' convenient
to himself widout any reference as to
wheder de spot was on my land or his.
81 should 'spect dat broadcloth an
silk would be worn on de street by
people who fill up on cold Eaters at
home.
"I should 'spect de enmity of men
whom I did not lend to, an be beat by
nine outer ten of SIGH as L favored.
81 should 'spect to be looked upon as
fanatic by men belongin' to different
church from mine, an to be abused an
called a fool by men votin' de opposite
political ticket.
81 should 'spect about so much bad
weather-about so much sickness
about so many pains an aches, an
hungry days an lonely nights, an
KNOWN de world as I know it now, J.
should 'spect de boats to run, an de
trains to go out, an de stores to open
wheder I was in bed wild de ager or
ober in de cabbage lot in de. bes' of
health.
GAS fur de fngs I shouldn't look fur,
dey am almoas' too numerous to men,
shun.
'I shouldn't look fur a laborin' man
workin' fur ten shillin's a day to permit
his whisky to cost mo- dan his -four.
81 shouldn't look fur girl airnin
fo' dollars week to dress like bank
er's wife nor put on de agony of a prin-
cess.
81 shouldn't look fur my naybur to
sweat his collar drivin' COWS outer my
garden, any mo- dan he would expect
me to bust my suspenders keepin' de
boys away from his harvest apples.
"I shouldn't look fur my chill'en to
come up widout faults, ror my family
to lib widout bein' hit by malice or
wounded by gossip.
"I shouldn't look for any mo- room
in de street kyar dan I paid fur, nor
better suit OF clothes dan my sarcnm-
stances permitted.
"I shouldn't look for any mans word
or promise to stan good onless he was
sartin dat he would be de gamer by
maxim EN- so. 1t am now time to pro-
coed wild de business which has rein
stated us togeder, an de triangle will
now be stricken in due form an COL
leckshun taken up to defray the ex-
penses of obsarvin' de transit of Venus
from de northwest co'ner of de City
Hall Market"
The Treasurer passed the hat in his
most agreeable manner, but the result,
as it was returned to the desk, panned
out only two cents in cash, and this
sum was probably dropped in by acct
dent.
"Gemlen," said the President as he
arose, ''if any of you obsarve de transit
of Venus you will have to do it at your
own expense. lie bit sorry dat dis
club has giben science SIGH cold Shout
der, but when de struggle am between
science an wooden undershirts fur de
'proachin' winter science can't 'spect to
come in ahead"
Sir Isaac Walpole desired to ask, be-
fore proceeding further, if the President
referred to him as the neighbor not ex-
pected to sweat his collar driving COWS
out of the Presidents garden? The
President replied that nothing was fur
Their from his thoughts. Indeed, he had
known Sir Isaac to arise at midnight
and drive COWS out of a backyard for
fear of damage. They had lived neigh
bors for thirteen long years, and he was
glad to remark that Mrs Walpole never
| yet returned tub with a hoop or q
handle gone, and that Sir Isaac always
had gilt.edged butter and Java coffee to
lend.