The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-10-14
PASSAGES FROM THE JOURNAL OF
A SOCIAL WRECK.


A SOCIAL WRECK.
JANUARY, 10, 1SS-.-Twenty-nine to-day
with Two painful facts staring me blankly in
the face. l am reduced almost literally to
my last cent, and have no prospect OF increas-
ing this sum. For the first lime in my life |
may examine the situation impartially. 1t is
notmy fault that it is physical mpossiblily
for me to get up early in the morning. and
therefore that | never have staid in any Office
more than two or three weeks at he longest.
1t is constitutional. ! can't write a good
hand or keep books correctly for the same
reason. Mathematics were left out of my
composition. | mast smoke, and it is i'm
possible for me to smoke poor cigar. If
am in debt for cigars, as well as other neces-
sites, how can help it.? | would willingly
work if | could only find the kind of work that
would suit me. ! am not a fool. There is
not man in New York who speaks French
with better accent than do. | can sing
better than most amateurs. There is no
vanity in saying that people consider me
good-looling. ! don't find it difficult to
please when make an effort and vet ] am a
complete failure. 1t is not my fault. Pm a
round peg in a square hole. | ought to have
been the oldest son of a Duke, with a large al
lowance. Instead, | am a helpless orphan,
with nothing year. | seem to joke; in real-
ty am in despair. Fortunately my landlady
trusts me blindly, or l would be turned into
the street.
have sold or pawned all my valuables I
might pawn my dress suit and studs, but if |
did ! couldn't go out to dinner if / were
asked, and that is always a saving. | can not
get p ace in an opera company because my
voice has not been sufficiently trained. There
always IS something 10 prevent my success, no
matter what try.
To-day | met Morton in the street He
stopped me and said: Blythe way, Valen-
tine, your name will come up at the Amster-
dam very soon. You are sure to get i'm
Imagine paying club dues in my present
condition! Yet to belong to the Amsterdam
has been one of my ambitions ! had to get out
of it, and said, in an offhand way: "Ah,
thanks, Morton, but you may as well take my
name off the list. Pm thinking of living out
oftOwn."
So am II think of occupying six feet of
real estate in the country, if something doesn't
happen soon. Morton always irritates me
He is one of those prosperous, fortunate
creatures, always so completely the thing, that
feel hopelessly my own deficiencies.
JANUARY ID omethiug has happened.
have an idea. 1t strikes me as strange vet
feasible. When / came in this afternoon /
found letter lying on my table. l opened it;
it ran as follows 100
Families who are about to give receptions,
dinner parties or other entertai ments will be
gratlhed to know that persons who will assist
in making these events pleasant and e ipyable
can be obtained through the medium of the
Globe Employment Bureau. These persons
VIII rot be professionals, but parties of culture
and refinement who will appear well, dress ele-
Rantly, AID mingle with he guests, while able
a d willing to play, slug, co verse flueutly
tell good story, give recitation, or anythi q
that will help 10 make an evening pass pleas
anty.
"The Globe Employment Bureau in tbis
plan simply complies wi h the increasing de-
ma DIS Of large class of its patrons. The
attendance of these persons, young or old
can be had for the sum of fiftee dollars per
event each. We will guarantee them to be
strictly honorable and reliable persons. Re
specially yours,
" THE GLoBE EMPLOYMENT BUREAU
The idea amused me. moralzed on it as a
phase of New York society; wondered what
sort of people would employ these individuals !;
wondered what the individuals would feel like
themselves; smiled grmly at the inference
that could go to the expense of fifteen dollars
to procure he services of one of these persons.
While stood with the letter in my hand, a
thought flashed into my mind. 1t widened
and developed, until it possesses my whole
being. l can't hire Globe young man, but
anything is better than starvation; / will be a
Globe young man
JANUARY lS.-It is all settled, and I am in
the service of the New York Globe. After
TWO days OF hesitation, presented myself this
morning at the Globe office. | was shown to
the Employment Bureau, and there, through a
iittle grating. was interviewed by a young
clerk OF supernatural composure. He had A
cool discerning eye that seemed to read nv
very soul and take IN my situation and errand
IN glance. l produced the Globe letter as
the simplest method OF Introducing myself.
He looked at me wi h his discriminating ex-
preston. LET me see, he murmured. "'We
nave had three thousand appica ions since the
Gay before yesterday, and our list is complete
But SIX oodlooliing-distin-
gushed, in fact''-he bit the handle Of his pen
meditatively. His air of reflection changed to
one OF decision. Just follow me, please, ~ he
concluded.
followed him through dim passage to
little room where there was a piano with some
music on it. Standing beside the piano was a
small dark man, rubbing his hands and bowino
politely as we entered. 1t reminded me OF
one OF the torture chambers of the Inquisition
What were hey going to do to me!
The chief inquisitor, in the shape Of the
clerk, began the ceremonies bv saying: 81
suppose YOU would not have come here without
being able to ill the requirements of the
Globe circular. Be kind en- ugh to sit down
and sing aud play that songn
1t proved to be ''In the Cleaning" was
in good voice, and managed to sing it with
some expression.
bravo ~ said the second inquisitor, in the
shape Of the little dark man.
lie then took me in hand He proved to be
all taldl, anu Hskeu me questions IN Italian
and French, in both of which languages | an.
swered as well as | could | was then obliged
to sing pathetic songs, drinking songs, comic
songs, opera boutle, English ballads, aud
then-worsc than all-requested to recite some
dramatic poetry Here | was at sea- | CON
fessed that | knew none.
"Never mind" said the clerk, encour-
agingly; you have done remarkably well in
other respects and you can easily learn the
regulation pieces"
He handed me a list, beginning with Cur
few shall not ring tonight" and ''The Charge
of the Light Brigade " and ending with
"Be sev and | are out" and "The May
Queen" | choked down my rising resent.
ment. What wouldn't do for fifteen dollars
an evening" short of crimel
every well,n | said, obediently.
was led out Of the torture chamber, eX-
h&usted, but still living 1t is queer. feel