The Russellville Democrat., 1882-11-09
Brother Gardner's Latest Obser-
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 The President ordered thirteen windows to be raised, and the ice in the water. pail renewed and all the dogs turned out of the room, and then said:
 "When you cum across a man who has no vices or weaknesses, drap him as you would a hot 'tater. The Lawd intended man to be mo or less weak, wicked an wretched. It was not de ideah to turn out perfeck man. If it had been, we should have had neither religion, preachers, nor de Bible. Airth would have been bin Heaben, an dar would have bin no call to die.
 "Natur' sometimes turns out pus- son widout guile, just as she turns out one eyed colts an three-legged calves. Such pussons should become known as either fools or lunatics. It am agin natur's way to bring men into dis world wid an angels wings already half grown. An it am lit tie suspicious to find too-good man. When you diskiver human beiu' who isn't lame somewhar neb. Der decleves, cheats, lies, envies, GOV cts who goes about satisfied wid de weather, craps, an himself-who won't bet, drink, go to de circus, or look upon a hoss race, you have foun' man to be let alone. He am too good. Natur' made hlm fur an angel and forgot to put him in Hcab- en.
 'I like man who has weakness an sins. Den I know dat he am a feller mortal who was put on airth to be saved. Hike man who has had sickness, heart-aches, an grievous trouble. Den I'm sartin of man who has sympathy. like man who has been foolish huff to get drunk and strong huff to kick de temptashun over seven-rail fence. Den you know whar to find him. He has been dar an knows what fool he was. 1 like man who has been a liar, an who hasn't entirely recov- cred from de injury. Den I know how to trade horses wid him, as 1 know what to believe when he tells me dat he has been fishin'.
 "When a man tells me dat he has become so good dat he feels like bustin', l go right home an put an extra paddock on my kitchen doah. When man sheds tears ober de con dishun ot de far-off heathen, de heather at home had better be keer- ful how dey lend him money. De man whose conscience won't let him go to place of amusement, has bin known to elope wid anoder man 8 wife. De man dat can't remember he eber used an oath or tole a lie has been follercd across the ocean an arrested fur rob bin widders an orphans. De man who allus wars a smile am now seryin' his third term in prison.
 "Let me say to you in summin' up dat de man who sins an knows it an wants to do better am sooner to be trusted dan de man who nebber sins an feels dat he am good huff. If you tie to s man let it be to man who feels dat he am weak an sinful. You will then have pardner who am not q freak of natur'. Let us embarrass ourselves wid de regular order of bizness."
 $. William Okochee, President of the "Ella Checker Club" of Ella, w. Va., forwarded communication asking if the Lime Kiln Club would affiliate, and inquiring if Brother Gardner if he thought cheeker-play ing led to evil.
 "Dls club will be glad to filiate, responded the President, "but as to checkers l am not prepared to say. Checkers doan' furnish de excite ment dat hoss race does, an you can't lose money as fast as you kin on poker, but kin say ob it dat whar one player sots on a soap-Dox an de oder on bag O con, an de grocer isn't rushed wid traid, an il am rainy day, and boaf players be long to de same church, it am good way to kill time" ."-Detroit Free Press -