Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1882-02-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Shocking disaster-An earthquake

Naturalist: Can a wolf become fond
Of man? He can, and would j st as
soon have him raw as cooked.
Will tho "coming man" shut the
door after himP Ho will in this Office,
or the going will 60 out OF the window
Every family is said to have a skel-
eton in the closet, but Uauan and gen-
tlemen of his craft are Said TO prefer a
scull.
The world will never progress far
enough TO believe that mans black
eye was caused 10y anything else than
somebody's fist.
Trained doWs exhibit 40 much intell-
sence that it probably won't be long
before there will b. aares 9 in the mar
ket that can talk.
Don't throw away your old barrels.
They are useful II has been found that
an ordinary flour barrel will hold G75,-
600 silver dollars
Parlor matches are like fashionable
engagements. There is too much fuss
and noise about thcm for the nlcney.-
Men ! Orn Commercial.
Horseshoes are now being made Of
cork. 1t will be lucky day for the
human race when the hind shues OF a
mule are made of tho same material.
The ice crcam day
Has passed away;
What will our dariugs try2
They one and all
Now quickly cali,
"Givo mo an oyster fry"
Tho best sermon in the world never
yet reconciled the proud man, trying to
curl his feet out of sight under The pew,
to the painfully obtrusive and evident
fact that the wife OF his bosom had used
his blacking brush to polish the kitchen
stove.
81 wish you wouldn't talk 70 about
good people, said New Haven woman
to her husband. "They all have their
iailings but many Of them will get to
heaven before you DO" sincerely
hope So" was the curt reply. He was
in no hurry to so.
A million dollars in gold weighs
3,GS5 pounds Gvoirlupois 1t took us
some time 20 learn thio interesting fact,
and if any persons hink We have made
h mistake they can call at the Office and
we will show them tue weights and
also the scales.
Professor Huxley wants his boy 10
have "broad shoulders, deep chest,
and stomach SO good he will never
know he has one." That kind of
stomach would be bonanza for q
tramp. And, occasionally, it would
strike the wealthy editor as g good
thing to have in the house.
At breakfast remarkably light ONE
lei souille is served, at moment when
every one is engaged in II deeply in
terasting conversation. The omelet is
neglected, and begins to settle down
from its appetizing airiness, to the enor-
nous disgust of the little daughter OF
the house, who exclaims: "Oh, ma, do
hurry The omelet is eating itselfl"
"The candles you sold me last week
were very bad," said Jerrold to tallow
chandler. "lnde,d, sir, / am very
sorry for that" "Yes, sir; do you
know they burnt to the middle and
then would burn no iongerp' "You
surprise mel What, sir, did they go
OUT ?" "No, sir, no; they burnt
shorter |"
"Ticket, sir, said railroad conduc-
tor, passing through one of the trains
tho other day to Il passenger. "My
face is my ticket" replied the other.
"Indeed |" said the conductor, rolling
back his wristband, and displaying q
most pow, rful bunch of fives; "well,
my orders are to punch all tickets pass
ing over this road" "And my business,
rs director of this road" quietly re-
piled the passenger, sis to see that con-
ductors do not knock down." The
conductor readiusted his wristband
A doctor will sit down and write q
prescription; time, five minutes; paper
aud ink, one-lUurth OF cent; and the
patient pays 81, 80, So, $40, as the case
may be. A lawyer writes ten or twelve
lines OF advice, aud gets from $40 to
$40 from his client. An editor writes
half column puff for a man, pays
man from fifty cents to one dollar for
putting it in type, prints on several
dollars worth of paper, sends it to sew
eral Thousand people, and then sur
prises the pulled man if he makes any
charge.
All noxious weedssuch as dock, skunk
cabbage and others may be killed by
pouring small quantity of kerosene
oil over the young plants. They may
also be cut off with hoe several inches
below the surface and salt dropped on
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