Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-04-27
investigating Light Literature.

| Brooklyn Eagle.
The other day stout woman armed
with an umbrella and leading small
urchin, called at the office OF a New
York boys story paper.
els this the place where they fight
Indians?" she inquired Of the gentle.
man in charge. els this the locality
where the brave boy charges up the
canon and speeds bullet to the heart
of the dusky red skin?s and she ierked
the urcLin around by the ear and
brought her umbrella down on the
desk.
1--WE publish stories for boys" replied
the young man evasively.
81 want to know if these are the
premises ON which the daring lad
springs upon his fiery mustang and,
darling through the circle of thunder
struck savages, cuts the captive's cords
and bears him away before the won
dering Indians have recovered from
their astonishmenti That's the infor-
nation I'm after. / want to know if
that sort of thing is perpetrated herer'
and she swung the umbrella around
her head and launched a crack at the
young mans head.
81 don't remember those specific
acts" protested the young man.
81 want to know if this is the pre-
cinct where the adventurous boy jumps
on the back of a buffalo and with un-
eTring aim picks off one by one the
blood thirsty pursuers who bite the
dust at every crack of his faithful
riflel Pm looking for the place where
that sort of thing happensp and this
time she brought the unlucky young
man a tremendous whack across the
back.
81 think" commenced the dod ging
victim.
"I'm in search of the shop in which
the boy road agent holds the quiverine
stage driver pOwerles5 with bis glitter.
ing eye, while he robs the male pas
sengers with an adrOitness born Of long
and tried experience, and kisses the
hands of the lady passengers with a
gallantry of bearing that bespeaks no.
bic birth and chivalrous naturel'
screamed the woman, driving the
young man into the corner. I'm look.
ing for the apartment in which that
business is transactedp' and down
came the umbrella with trip hammer
force on the young mans head.
"Upon my soul, ma'amr-gasped the
wretched youth.
81 want to be introduced to the Jars
in which you keep the boy scouts OF
the Sierras! Show me the bins full OF
the boy detectives of the prairie
Point out to me the barrels full of boy
pirates of the Spanish maini" and with
each demand she dropped the umbrella
on the young mans skull, until be
skipped over the desk and sought safe
ty in neighboring canon.
'I'll teach 'emI' she painted, grasp
ing the urchin by the ear and leading
him off-"Ill teach 'em to make il
good or dance. Want to go fight In
dams any more? Want to stand proud.
ly upon the pinnacle OF the mountain
and scatter the plain beneath with the
bleeding bodies of uncounted slain ?
Want to say 'histp in a tone that
brooks no contradiction? Propose to
spring upon the taffrail and W tn a ring.
ing word of command send broadside
into the richly laden galley, and then
mercifully spare the beautiful maiden
in the cabin, that she may become
your bride? Eh! going to do it any
more?'
With each question she hammered
the yelping urchin until his bones were
sore and he protested his permanent
abandonment Of all the glories emu
merated.
"Then come along" said she, taking
him by the collar. LET me catch you
around with any more ramrods and
carving knives, and you'll think the
leaping, curling, resistless prairie fire
had swept with ferocious roar Of tri
umph across the trembling plains and
| lodged in YOUR pantaloons to stayp'