The National tribune., 1882-12-21

4
AS anything you can think of.
| 81 declared there's Widow Brown
lin the cottage over in Tauuery Townl
The family had the house rent free
AS long as her husband worked for me.
good, smart. faithful chap was Jim
Wish had forty good as himi
But he died one day, and left her there;
And put the place in the parsons care
For the only man in the town dare
10 trust is Parson Emery
To see that the house don't run away,
And collect the rent she agreed to pay.
III write letter this very day,
To jog the good man 8 memory"
The letter was straightway penned and sent;
And it preached hard times to dreary extent:
" For money is tight at ten per cent;
Often no sooner got than spent;
The poor man finds it a heavy Stent
To earn his mess of pottage;
And so,' concluded the argument,
You may, if you please remit the rent
Jim's widder owes for the cottage"
In two days time the answer came
. The parson is prompt. But-what in the name
He cried, as he opened aud read the same:
How extremely odd it sounded!
Dear, no6te, generous, hOnOred friend"
Were terms he couldn't well comprehend;
And when he had struggled on to the end,
He was utterly astounded.
He gasped and gurgled, and then burst out
t." What IA thunder's the oil fool ravin' about?
He's crazy without shadder o doubt!
A-writin to me as if was saint!
Wa'al, mabby be, and then mabby / amt.
An what's his argyment? why, to be sure,
That I'm marcIfui man to- the poor,
An feel for the su1erin' brother,
An stay the widder whose staff is gone;
And so he contInners a-lavln' 1T on,
An he Amt sarcastical, nuther.
Blamed OF blunderhead, couldn't he see
IT the poor was merciful tn meant net
But here he goes on, i'll a gushin' mood,
TO tell o the womans gratitude,
Because We been so crce6dingty good
is TO pity her sad condition.,
an giUe him the blessed authority tu
RenIit-REMIT-the rent that is due
Why don't he remit then wish | knew
Std o that, here's more of his hullabaew,
To thank me for the renission!
" Remission-remit. oh, drat the dunceI"
And he rushed for a dictionary;
1t having occurred to HIM all at once
That the meanings sometimes vary
OF even the simplest words we write;
And that pro5y old parson might
Use one, and IA man of business quite
Another, vocabulary.
Finger and eye ran down the page:
" RA, RE''-he was flushed with rage:
" REMEMBER-REMIND-RE at last
The terrible talon had IL fast
With the definition against it set:
. 'Sead back, he read; but, lower yet,
" 10 release, 10 forgive, sin or u debit"
All, through that mesh in the treacherous net
Had siipt the widows pittance!
Twas sol twas strange! twas very absurd,
That thus from phrase, or single word,
With equal reason could be inferred
Collection of debt or quittance!
Words have their FORKS, like highways, whence
To left and right run the roads of sense;
And, taking the wrong derivative,
The needless old parson had come TO give
Remission instead OF remittance.
Elkanah glared for moment and then,
With a snort at the book, and scotf at the men
Who invented the language, seized his pen
Tore one letter, and wrote again,
Protrudlng his chin, while the hard dry grin
Grew terribly savage and sinister;
TILL too impatient to brook delay,
He quite forgot it was Christmas day,
Swung on his ulster, and swooped away
Toward Tannary Town and the Widow Brown
And the good old laundering minister.
AS out by the forenoon train he went
He had ample time to consider:
TO be soit-soaped to sich extent
Cracked up like spawned hoss that's meant
To be sold to the highest bidder
It's pooty duAbed rough on plain old gent
That never was known to give cent,
Say nuthln' o seventy dollars rent,
To anybody's widder!
An amt one o the kind that cares
To be boosted up in a wonlan's payers
For a favor l never did her.
" Yet she might pray for me all her days,
An / wouldn't object to the parsons praise,
Which he spread so thick i'll his letter;
But though he believes il himseIL aud though
Other folks may think it's all les So
The plague is, know beateri
He'll wonder what sort of II beast be-
When tell him square out how it seemed to me-
What a blamed, rldiciseious, fools idee
That should forgive IA debtor!"
Quick moist flushes, strange hot streaks
Shot down TO his shIns and up to his cheeks.
He loosened his collar, and wondered what
In time made 'em keep the cars so hot
Still, he thought of the interview
he was going to seek, the warmer he grew;
And he said To himself, with lecr, :" Must be
I'm fond of parsons s'ciety!
For what else under the canopy
Pm maxim the trip for j can't see,
Sence letter or tn would as soon undu
The snarl he's got me inter,
save railroad fare, an the wear an tear
OF n journey in midwinter.
IT'S an awlI ard mess du declare!
The wldder she'll cry, an the parson he'll stare,
An like enough somebody else viii swear
Wish was back i'll my office chair!
For why should go twelve mile or so
An lose my time am my dinner
70 prove to THEN faces, beyond doubt,
L amt no saint, rs they make out,
But a hardened sort of a sinner"
;ome such thoughts pcrplexod his brain,
is up to the station rolled the train,
With slackening speed and brakes screwed down.
md the brakesmen bawled out, "Tannery
Town.
Wa'al, here bel" With gathering frown
md firm-set teeth, old Ekanah straight
,ook his way to the parson s gate;
10 longer inclined TO turn about,
In IL furry of confusion,
md like n coward retrace his route
tut grimly resolved TO carry out
His original resolution.
'hough, after ali, he approached the spot
utwardly cold and inwardly hot
IS brave man goes to be hanged or shot,
r whatever else he thinks is not
Ihe thing for his constitution.
nd when this answer he received
Parson amt to hum will it Ice belieyed?-
e felt like the very same man reprieVed
At the moment of execution.
Ya'al, no, he wouldn't go in and wait
e stood III the snow mt the parsonage gate:
o train back till half past one,
nd the village bells had Just begun
o ring for noon for a minute or two
g stood, uncertain what to do,
ooklnG doubtfully up and down
he dreary streets of Tannery Town
nd thought OF his money and Mrs. Brown:
Then this is what he did do
e turned his feet up the snowy street,
And went to call on the widow.
was Christmas-tinle, rs l said before;
nd when, arrived at the cottage door,
tie reached for the old bell handle
C paused a moment, amazed and grim.
1r he heard such racket as seemed to him.
the home of the late lamented Jim,
Sufficient cause for scandal.
short, sharp ring, then a hurried noise
Whispering scampering girls and boys,
nd the door was opened IL little space,
trough which pecred out, with a bashfu grace,
4 surprisingly pretty looking
mildly smiling, bright young blonde;
nj kIsanah cnught from the room beyond
A savory sniff, wonderful Whit
Of most delicious cooking
a table, with neat cloth spread
pG amir Iisho and 1