The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-05-24

Three periods of life-Youth, munps;
middle age. bumps old age, dumps.
Carpet designing ia new employment
open TO women But women always have
some design on the carpet.
Patrick dressing for partyl-"Bedad,
now, and / shan't be able to git on these
boots till I've worn them tonne or two"
The Philadelphia Press has Just inter-
viewed man who has been married six
times. He was glad to get In a word at
last.
A man has invented a chair that can be
adjusted to 800 different positions. 1t is
designed for boy to sit in when he goes to
Church.
directions for wearing a new style headgear:
"With this bonnet Che moIth is worn
slightly OPEN"
Imitation sesl-skin, made of silk, is man
ufactured in New Jersey. The man with
fourteen daughters will move into New
Jersey in the fall.
Student: "How is it, Doctor, that 1 always
take cold In my head2" Doctor: at i. a
well-known principle. sir. that q cold is
most likely to settle in the weakest part"
What this age has thus far signally failed
to produce is a nice-ftting, easy-feeling,
sleep-producing ear pad, TO be worn by
married men who are given to late hours.
Boston Post: 1t was man from the great
State of Ohio who unpinned tidy from a
chair in Washington parlor and wiped his
nose upon it. We're glad to hear of man
who knew what to do with tidy.
AID ba,ya hoov h,ooinc- An Jo1
said Harry to James, his successful rival in
the suit for the hand of Miss B a day OF
two after the marriage. $50 do II" re-
sponded James. Now, just what did James
mean.-Boston Star.
The very latest, broadest-rimmed hat for
young ladies is called "0ver the Garden
WALL From the description it is supposed
that the name arises from q tendency of
unsuspecting citizens to climb the nearest
wall when they see the hat coming-Jour-
nal.
Two old ladies, evidently from out of
town, were walking about the streets the
other day, when one of them discovered a
bunch of bananas. Stopping to look at
them, she adjusted her glasses and said,
"Well, l do declare, if them amt bigger
string-beans than i ever saw IN ell my
life.''
1t was DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes, we
believe, who while waiting in drug store
for a prescription, had his attention called
to lad seated in chair. That is nv
n, sir; don't you think he looks like me?"
well, yes" replied the witty poet; II
think l can see some of your liniments in
mis- face"
Hostess: "Wbst, leaving already, Mr..
Mivers I've scarcely seen anything of you
the whole EVENING"" Mr.. Miyers (who
goes in for the courteous mar ners of the
olden time) "That, madam, is entirely my
fault - Exit grae efully, but remembers as
he goes down stairs that he meant to say
s'misfortune' not "fault"
1.-TWO eagles large enough to carry off q
sheep were seen lowering over Harvard
College on Tuesday morning immediately
after prayers" 1t is supposed that they
were awaiting an opportunity to clutch one
of the lost sheep of Israel, of whom there are
always great number of in that neighbor-
hood Immediately after prayers.
Texas Sifti3gs: A scientist says that
every adult person carries enough phos-
phorous in hi. body to make at least 1000
Of he ordinary wo c. Mt packages of friction
mstches. That is q scientific fact that is of
vey little valu- to a man who comes home
in the night, smssh@s ev' rytbing on the
bureau in ses euil for match, and real
iz' s that All the 1000 match power phos-
phorous cone .aled inside of him will not
liz h the gas.
He ran away from home, did this prodigal
and spent HE patrimony In billiard saloons
and lottery tickets. and had got down to
his last paper collar. He returned TO his
parents, out at tive elbows and bankrupt in
the matter of linen and the very next day
when he met an old neighbor who asked:
land did your father kill the fatted calff"
there was evidently story in the ground,
solved in part by his sullen reply: "No,
but he came blamed near KILN the prodi-
gal"
The bride of Green Bay Wis wedding
YVES sstonished by receiving from friend 8
pair of trousers, with the message. LOANED
for the part you are to play" The BRIDE
groom construed the garment as an insult,
aud the guests unanimously agreed that
some decisive form of resentment ought to
be shown. While the excitement was high,
the friend arrived IN equal perturbation and
explained that the trousers should have
gone to fellow to wear in an amateur en-