Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-22
Look Not Upon the Soda.

hheie ID Deaulilul young lady III this
city, a temperance girl, who has pair of
eyes that sparkle so that stranger would
think she was winking when she looked up
and smiled. She would not wink for any
thing, but when she smiles the selvage
around the eyes seems to draw up, and well.
II 1t isn't wink it is a counterfeit well CAL
culated to deceive. She was on the way to
the temperance lodge the other night and
stopped at a soda fountain to get glass of
soda, and when the clerk asked what flavor
she would have, she looked up at him and
smiled, and said, I will leave that to YOU ?n
The clerk said afterwards, when her brother
came in after the lodge was out to whip him,
that he would have sworn she winked. 1t
seems some OF the customers want 4 little
brandy in their rsoda, and the proprietor told
the clerk when anybody winked and looked
sort of cunning to put little brandy with
the tlavoring. He thought she was one of
the wlnking customers, and he thinks now
ne might have put in alittle two much. The
Noble Duke of the lodge refuses to accept
the explanation up to this time, though it is
thought he will get over his annoyance be-
fore the next meeting and let the girl re-
main member if she desires to do so though
she says she does not see how she can ever
look the brothers and sisters in the face.
They tell two or thre stories about it but the
version of the Grand Worthy Chaplain ofthe
lodge seems to be accepted as the true one.
The soda began to take effect on the girl
just as she got into the antc-room. and, in
stead Of whispering the pass word to the
Outside Sentinel, that worthy official, who
is young married man, says she nut her
mouth to his ear and bit it, and then threw
her arms around his neck He would not
have cared so much about this. only hiswi
was in the ante-room putting on her regalia.
The soda girl also caused remark in the
ante-room by getting into her regalia feet
first, aud pulling it on as she would a pair
Of drawers. The Outside Sentinel says that
struck him as being more unusual than the
way she gave him the pass word. However,
he let her into the inner room. There is Il
hole in the inner door which the applicant
for admission puts her mouth up to and
whispers the pass word into the ear of the
Inside Sentinel, who is lady. The soda
girl put her mouth up to the hole, after Civ
ing three distinct raps, and as the ear Of the
Inside Sentinel covered the hole on the op-
posite of the door, the soda girl said, "Set
'em up. Soda with perfu (hic) merry in it."
A AS the regular quarterly pass word was
strong drink is raging and the Inside
Sentinel smelled liquor on the breath of
the applicant, she thought some sa-
loon character was trying to get into
the lodge, so she drew her stuffed
club, the badge of her office, and
opened the door. Seeing thatitwas a mem
Der, the guard let the Girl in, after repri-
manding her for her levity, and the girl
marched to the middle of the floor, a little
shaky in the legs The custom is for men,
Der on entering to 60 to the middle of the
floor, look at the Grand Worthy Chair
Holder, and place the right index finger to
the right side of the nose and keep it there
until the chairman responds, when the new
conner takes q seat. The girl, instead,
placed her thumb to her nose and wiggled
her fingers, and went and took seat beside
the Chaplain, and put her feet upon the
desk of the good man. Ifalarge fire-crack
er, loaded with buorbon whiskey, had ex-
ploded in the lodge-room, it would not have
created more CONSERVATION. The Chaplain
tainted, the worthy Chairman declared re-
cess, and the members all gathered around
the sister, whose face was flushed. Her hair
was scrambled caused by taking off her hat
without removing the hair pins Her frz-
zcs were around on her. left ear, and one
bang was ron the back ofher neck, while
the place where the hair was parted ran
across her head from ear to ear. Her bro
thcr: came, up and put her feet :. from
off the desk and asked her if she had been run
over by a wagon or chased by q dog Everybody
smelled the Ecror and when the Chief accused her
of having tampcred with tho sOul-destroying bcv-
erage which steals away the brain; she told him
hewas "prevar (hic) Gator" and hit him on the
ear with gavcl. The sisters tried to get her to
60 into the antc-rom and soak her head, but she
said she wanted to ride the. goat, and she took i
run and jump and sat upon "a table Us though it
was side saddle, and laughed so loud that the
brothers and sisters thought she would disturb the
worshippers in q saloon not far away. Finally
the choir struck up 4 tune, "Cold Water, Bright
Water" and the soda girl sung, Johnny Fill up
the Bowl" and tried to put her thumbs in the
arm-holes of her vest and walk like Pat Rooney.
The brother finally got her to go home and now
it is go-as-y you please between the girl and the
drug clerk and the proprietor aud the girls
brother as to who is to blame, She says if she is
forgiven for this she will never swallow another
glass of soda until it is analysed by competent
chemist. The lodge is all broke up about it, be-
cause outsiders arc talking the affair over.-Pccks
SIN. - y! -
PHILADELPHIA AUCTION SALE-There
was an immense sale of Carpets and Oil
Cloths at l. & S. Bunting yesterday. Isaac
Eichberg was one of the heaviest buyers