The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-10-30
Mr.. Moons English,
[Knowledge.1

We do not know Mr.. G. Washington Moon,
the self-appointed guardian of the English Lam
guage, personally, but we should imagine he
must be troublesome person to converse with
II not, his works belle him. We picture him
speaking-in the ordinary converse of life
Somewhat as in the following imaginary
scene:-
Traveller Injecting Mr.. Moon). Can YOU
tell me, sir, where this road goes?
Mr.. Moon aside. HE should have said, "If
you can, will you tell me?" (Aloud.) Sir, the
road does not go anywhere, 1t remains always
here.
Traveller-Pardon me- should have said.
ftWhere does this road lead?''
Mr.. Moon.-To lead, sir, is to go before-to
guide (uade Webster, Worcester, and Walker.
especially Walker) The road cannot 20 be-
fore you.
Traveller.--I perceive, sir, you are precise.
1 want to know where shall arrive if fol-
low this road?
Mr.. Moon You cannot follow that which is
at rest, for the word foHoW-
Traveller-Excuse me, my time is limited,
Where shall arrive if / follow this road?
Mr.. Moon.-Your query is wanting in pre-
cision. Where you arrive will depend princi-
pally on the duration of your progression.
Traveller.-(after pause). Supposing I
should walk upon this road at the rate of, say,
four miles per day. during, let US suppose, two
hours, what are the various places through or
near which my walk will bring me?
Mr.. Moon.-This is very painful. There are
no less than seven mistakes of the most glar-
ing kind in the sentence you have just spok-
en-. Your use of the word supposlng" is
quite inaccurate. Who are supposing? Then,
having already used the word once, you should
not have used it again in the same sentence
Again, what does ''say'' mean? Also why use
the Latin word per, when, Sin a" would have
served your purpose? You speak of Uarious
places. But the word various, SO used, is quite
unmeaning. If it were not redundant itWould
be incorrect, for the word various implies that
the objects to which it is applied vary from
each other. Now, the places through which
you have to pass may, for aught you know, be
precisely alike. Further, you should not have
said 'my walk" but "my walking. The
word "bring," also, is inappropriate. will go
| questions which have raised respecting your
| incorrect language; and
Traveller-In the meantime, will you kind
ly tell me what l want to know?
Mr.. Moon.-(aSide.) He does not mean sin
the meantime but before that. (Aloud) No,
sir; that is what you should tell me. Not to
speak of telling on, how can / ever learn
what you want know when you fail to ex-
press yourself in terms at once clear and accnr-
ate. Permit me quote for your edification a
passage from the preface to my treatise on the
'Revisers' English" "The mind which al
lows itself complacently to delight
Traveller.-How about tautology? HE
goes upon his way.
Mr.. Moon-(Aside. A most inexact express
sionD Understand, sir that in what I write
no one has ever yet detected imperfections-
''complacently to delight" / say (raising his
voice. sin anything below the highest stand.
ard of excellence is thereby dwarfing its facul-
ties; for Qouder) we become assimilated to that
which we worship, and (shouting) [wel are en-
nobled or debased by the influence of that up
on which our minds dwell with satisfaction y
He is beyond hearing; I will write series Of
letters for Public Opinion, and point out his
multitudinous errors l aoM be heard; he shall
| Saxon, Scealdn) listen to me.