Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1882-02-23
MORSELS OF MIRTH.
A sour mash-an old maid.

A sour mash-an old maid.
A jolly dog-the type-setter.
The latest thing in boots-holes.
A man may smile, and smile, and be a
film.
Bushes and pretty girls both become
women.
You will seldom find an attorney at
law-he knows better.
"A rolling stone gathers no moss"
Who wants to gather moss?
Horse thieves are generally high strung
individuals out in the Territories.
Policemen are always taking people in,
yet they seldom obtain prominence as
Fjokers.
When a member of the Legislature
marries, his wife becomes speaker of the
house.
Never call man liar. 1t isn't polite
Tell him he is of an exceedingly imagina-
tive disposition.
''This is too, too," as the man said
when his aesthetic wife presented him
with the second pair of twins.
A bottle of something hot is good for
cold feet The contents should be left in
the bottle and not taken internally.
"Darling husband" she said, "am |
not your treasurer "Certainly," he re-
piled, "and should like to lay you up in
heaven"
Having been enveloped in a garment
much too big for him, little boy told his
father that he felt lawfully lonesome" in
his new shirt.
An old lady being told that a lawyer was
"1ying at the point of DEATH" exclaimed,
"My gracious, won't even death stop that
mans lying?"
| "The Unseen Hand" is the title of a
new book. Probably the other man didn't
have anything better than pair of treys,
and didn't dare to call
An editor wrote Il personal about a
| young man going to spark his girl. When
it was printed he was Mortified to see the
letter ''n'' substituted for the s'r'' in the
word spark.
A Professor Cunning, in Albany, is lee
| turing on "After Man, WHAT" A Yonk-
ers man, who has been there, rises to re-
mark that it is generally the sheriff or
some woman.
..Will He VIM" is the perplexing title
of a love story in an exchange. We have
not read it, but feel confident in asserting
that if, when called, he holds the four
aces, he will win.
| "a Little Boy on the Bble,' is the
name of sketch in religious paper.
Probably the boy was so small that they
put the big Bible in his chair to raise him
when he came to the table.
| \ northern paper speaks of a young
farmer who 'ran rapidly through his
property" His property was an open lot.
| He wore red shirt, and a mad bull was
i'll the way of the young farmer.
| The poet says ga kiss without a mus
tache, is like an egg without SALT May
be it is; we can't say positively, for the
girls we've been used to kissing for the
! last twenty years didn't wear mustaches" !"
"Young man, we eat all the rind here, "
said IA boarding house keeper TO a boarder
who was taking off the outer portion of a
l,.,. &c ,1,n 1ri,r - n1 hD
boarder, "I'm cutting this off for you"
4 young Oil City lady recently visited
New York, and when she returned related
how She stopped at Il 'palatable hotel
and went up and down stairs in culti-
vator." Her parents should cultivate
her.
Mr.. Bronson Olcott says that the blue
or brown-cyed woman, with fair COM
pleXion, sanguine temperament, and fail
sized feet, love deeper, and make better
wives than any other sort. Boys, secure
your seats.
\ boy buys a revolver and bursts l0(
cartridges without hurting a serenadins
cat: but the moment he turns the muZZle
toward his mother or little sister some
one dies-and it isn't the boy, either
Why is it thus?
CELIA, is your father at homer" said /;
haShful lover to his sweetheart. 81 want
to propose something to him. sNo
Clarence, papa is not at home, but l am
Couldn't you propose to me just as well?'
And he did, with perfect success.
Little Bobby, who talks enough slang
for the whole family, said to his father
one night: ''There are fixed stars, aim
there, papa?" Towhich his papa replied
eyes, Bobby And then the young ras.
cal asked: care they well fixed papa?'
The Solid Euldoon makes this .touchin:
, appeal to delinquent subscribers: "Gen
tlemcn, we must have wealth. The night
are growing cold, and this thing of forcin:
a ten-cent mustard-plaster to the worl
of an all-wool undershirt is growing mo
notonouS."
"Any burglars in this town." a travele
, asked vilager in Western Tennessee
"Well, no, not now stranger; there wa
couple of 'em here last spring, but on
night they broke into the editors houS
: and starved to death before they coul
get OUT
t An Omaha asthete is the author of til
i following: ''The canary bird beneath hi
\ wing now hides his little head; the tram
f., within the station house now seeks hi
little bed: The wearer of the liver pa
another pad has got; and now the soulft
u guzzler doth take his sumfiower hot"
A political speaker noted for his Ion
l winded harrangues, said to the presidin
officer of a meeting just before he wa
O. introduced: 81 really do not know whi
! to talk about, called upon SO suddenly.
'Well," said the presiding officer, ''n yo
Z want to please the audience, talk abot
: five minutes.''
e A Chicago naturalist stated in his LEI
IS ture that black bear could hug seve
10 times as hard as man, and the next tin
a menagerie visited that city every girl
the crowd made eyes and waved h
u handkerchief at the black bear, and pa