The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-09-12
Sepse and eNopsenge.

I
The half of the Su.z canal trouble
has never been toled.
1t is more common 10 make a viriur
of necessity than a necessity of virtue
1t is appropriate to refer TO the spank
pr hoom when a whole primary school
is whipped for general misdemeahor.
"Fat Boy"-No you cant raise chick
ems from egg plants. You might as
we'll try TO raise cows from a cow-catch-
er.
"Jones, why 'lo You send your wash
tn chinaman ?" Jones-"I don't.'
"You dont7" Jones-"No. he comes
and gets it.
"There is always room at the top
seid the hotel clerk with ssrdonc grin
as be sent the weary guest up to The
ninth story.
When a gnl has been engaged To
fna'rimonv bv an ambitious mother she
genera " finds that the yoke does no,
easily sit on her.
II is said that the Chinaman who mar
ried the Newark lady the other day now
wears his hair cut short. His queue
rosity is satisfied.
The Atlanta Constitution says Sena-
tor Hill was The greatest orator this
country has produced since the days OF
Clay and Webster.
What is the difference between the
esder Of an orchestra and a hook ready
or fishing? One has baton and the
other has bait on.
A Milwaukee woman has been pois-
oned by eating bologna sausage. Peo-
pile should he verv careful how they "a,
sausage during dog days.
| They make banana ice cream now.
And it's so slippery tina. a man has to
lie down on the floor ami hold on with
both hands to swallow any of it.
"Where's the nearest place for me to
get. shaved ?" Over to the broker s,
yonder," replied the boy, pointing to
the three gilt balls over door way
You dog of printer" cried the poet,
"ynu have not punctuated nv poem at
sll F" "Yes. hut you see. sir, am not p
pointer-I'm a setter" replied the prin-
ter.
Somebody ungraciously remarks thai
the way people rave over the luxury OF
the daily bath at the sesshore, one would
think that they never bathed at all when
at home.
Mr.. George Dexter, of Albany, "a
years Old, is the sole survivor OF fifty
passengers on the first trip of Fulton's
steamboat, the Clermont, from Albany
to New York.
A lady Of uncertain years who has
grown weary Of single hlessedness think.
OF going to Washington, as the Con-
, gressmen there, she understands, are a.
ways willing 10 pair.
"My big rat, "My own darling green
rabbit" The idoIize'i pig OF my dreams,
etc., was what French vie wrote to q
Captain of artillery, and her husband
has asked for separation.
When young lady asked 10 look al
q parasol. the clerk said: "Will you
please give the shade you want Z" i
expect the parasol to give the shade
want" said The young lady.
Archbishop Wbeately was one day
asked if he rose early. He replied that
once be did, but he was so proud all the
morning. and so sleepy all the afternoon
that be determined never to do II again.
"Modesty" writes MS: There is no ma
tatorium in the CITY. go where can ]
learn TO swim ?" In the water. man
slive, in the water You didn't think o.
learning to swim in lay -mow, did yt u ?
At a Virginia watering place gentle
!, man asked another who was sitting near
him three questions concerning sulphur
water, and discovered that he had been
consulting the resident physician when
he received a bill for SIS
AS a matter Of seasonable intelligence,
it is reported that New Yorkers are
making pepper out of old shoes roasted
and ground iue. We had supposed that
our pepper was pure, hut this puts the
fiery condiment upon quite another foot
ling.
Twenty FIVE thousand Pairs of blu:
spec'acies have been sent to the British
army in Egypt. Of course war is nee.
essarily attended with horrors. hut The
British Government is not justified in
making lie army look like female suff. a.
gists.
Count DO say, who possessed charm
ing wit, in remarking on beauty sp, ct
: on the cheek OF Lady Southampton
e compared it to a gem on a rose Leaf
D The compliment is far-,etched," oh
4 served her Ladyship. "How can tha
: be," remarked the Court, "when it i
q made on The spot"
g The completion of the iron bridge o
the Atlantic snd Pacific Railway eve
: The canon Diatalo, in Arizona, add
} another to the list of high bridges.
spans dark gloomy gorge some 25
: feet deep. The bridge is 240 feet ahov
n the water. Sal feet long, weighs S37
l30 pounds, ana cos: 100000
In chapter on the filtration of tb
coat TAIL The Boston Post says, "Whe
: there is mu,l on the coat tails, 1t means
n i do not like your father From tn
persis,ency with which the Post ma
i writes paragraphs of this tenor, we infe
that during courting days the old ma
y never wiped hrs feet on the door mat!
Talk about stopping the drinkin
8 habits Of the people!' exclaimed th
0 lecturer: "there lie but one way to do
you must remove the cause" "Tru
i'r you, OF fell" shouted demoralize,
nearer, 'true f'r you. That's what Nv
. been trying TO do all my life. Bring Of
e yer cause if yer want it removed
}, An Illinois hoy fell down cliff, ant
! was so injured that be had to stky abeC
month. A physician prescribed drugs
and clergyman prayed daily for his re-
4 covery. He is now we'll The fathe
e refuses to pay the doctors bill Of $50
o because be believes the cure was w,ougb
: by prayer alone, but has given $50 t
% the church. A lawsuit is the result.
: An Official in the wafer board of
g Western city having departed this life
Is the city government, who esteemed hin
r.. ~. l. -