The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1882-06-22
IDLE PARAGRAPHS!

THIS weather is good for corn-but not good
time to tread ON
MAY woman be compared to thunder when she
bangs the 'air9
SPRING -r1ME-when the dog takes after you pro-
vided the fence is within reach.
AMAN can keep house very well without his wife
until he gets all the dishes dirty.
1T is a shrewd politician who go through
heated political campaign without giving Offence.
CAN preacher who breaches eternal torment for
sinners, in lake of burning birthstone, be called
sin-sear preacher?
1T must have heen terrible battle of the lightning
one day last week. when lightning struck Kentucky
distillery.
THE Democracy of Jackson County are informed
that their annual political repast is readywith
colored man to wait on the table.
AN indianapolis dispatch says that SHERMAN Betz,
young man of good habits shot himself in the bow
els.'' We don't call that very good habit.
SEVERAL parties were present and saw Guiteau
shoot President Garfed-yet it cost the Government
than fifty thousand dollars to prove that he did
1t.
MUSIC sometimes loses its influence. OF what use
is 1t to sing awake My sole in Joyful Lays" to
small boy who is wrthing under the paternal slipper?
AN Illinois man, De1ng requested 10 give a new
baseball ground an appropriate name, attended a
of ball upon it, and afterwards gave it the
of "Pandemonium."
A GANG of bandits have been discovered in Tusca-
rawas County, Ohio. Hunt 'em down! Put 'em in
the Penitentiary! The Democratic majority in that
County is too big, anyhow.
IT singular to hear of great railroad colli-
sion, and nobody hurt Yet such the we
write of-the conductor of the train conided with a
book agent Their cheeks struck, and neither was
injured.
against any encroachments upon religious liberty by
the passage of Sunday Laws. man whose religious
liberty is hampered by Sunday Law must soar upon
the pinions of penitentiary bird.
SOME of the local Democratic statesmen affect to be
much worried because there will be but Welsh
man elected this year. What they really grieved
is the fact that Democrat will be elected this
| year, or for many years to come.
| GEN. SHARPE, of the New York Legislature gave
the names of several gentleman authority that Sen
Conkling, after resignng, sought reelection. The
several gentlemen promptly bore testimony that
Sharpe was very much mistaken individual-yea, a
veritable
ONE who sees perambulating peddler of tinware
heeing it along, under thirty buckets, yfve
tin-cups, dozen dish-pans, and full stock of
tions, is apt to wonder IT. after ALL the wagon is
necessity.
AN old soldier, after hearing musician singing OF
'the musis of the waves in the singing shells,'
marked that ''the meeting of 32-pounder, busi-
ness trip, would knock the romance all out OF
shell music.''
| COUPLE FROM THE CITY-"Oh, Adolphus, do come
here and see the potato bugs!" "Where ith the
bugth, Angelina dear ?'' "Why, there, those two
great black bugs! See! They rolling potato 6a
ugh, Angelina, how they do thmell! Letth get away
| from thith horrid plather'
| THERE is no man known to be living except an
American Congressman who drink gallon OF
rum four dozen bottles of champagne, six dozen bot
ties of appolinaris water and smoke two hundred and
fifty tencent CIGARS in day. If the Congressman
is going to funeral and feels little bad he even
| go beyond this.