Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-03-15

| tive pa an your lovely and CONSUME
mate mas runnin' the ranch. You
| hear me, Maria?"
Editors and Their Peculiarities.
YlnktoD Herald.
| The extra on ''boon" edition OF
country newspapers is worked
down TO science by the Watectown
| News, which has the whole thing
printed III Chicago as Il specimen Of
Dakota enterprise to attract inini-
| grants from the east. This extra is
sue Of the News is illustrated with
the portraits of the editor and imam
aging editor' The expression on
the face of the latter tells plainly of
the wcighty responsibility aud grind
| ing intellectual strain incident upon
| the position of managing enitor of 81
Slx-coluinn patent, whose oRcrous
! duties of washing forms, taking
proofs, etc., are brain-wearing i'll the
extreme. The portrait of the edi-
tor is good and carries with it that
distinguished air attaching to a well
| fed ar-keeper, but the editor him
sell is lame i'll not giving the public
something of his biography even in
a general way.
| The editor of a country newspaper
while he is supposed to be human is
III reality neither fish, flesh, fowl
nor good sausage meat. He is am
phibious---he can live on either air
or water, though well known to
have a marked preference for the
| former and never delicate in show
| ing his antagonism towards the latter.
| The sight OF Il beer kcg or 81 long
necked bottle produces in him the
same delightful sensations that q
slab of molasses candy foot square
generally produces in an eight-year-
old boy. Unlike other members OF
the nondescript family he is not
prone to err, in fact he is not suppos-
ed to be mistaken on any subject no
matter how triiiing or important
He must know the price of corncobs
for fuel rs well rs the value Of Gle
waited railroad stock; he must be
able TO desert be the price of wheu,
to be delivered in August ffse3
equally as well as he can direct the
uninitiated to an establishment
where they can purchase two glasses
of beer for q nickel. He wears nc
stockings and his toe-nail; are sold
semi-annuaiiy to a bone yard and
the proceeds OF the sale turned in tt
his clearinghouse boss" in pay.
ment for one meal per diem. His
boots have not been injured by
backing any more than his body by
water, and his shirt is cai0rod and
has been so for months. He con
sidcrs collars superfluous and neck
ties idiotic. He wears o garment re
scmbiing coat in the winter, but il
the warm season lie scouts the pre-
J yailing style and itiosynerasics o
> the MASSES, and is clad simply in :
pair of spectacles and Il gold pen
He is not proud even in the pres
ence OF his interiors, if he has any
: and will humbly and serenely peck
ct all the abuse in indignant irient
: Or opponent may choose to heap ol
him, and in his next issue reiserat
his former statements. He despise
/ filthy lucre," in fact he doesn
:! want it around. He takes deligh
y in lecturing his creditors on tl,i
y heat, showing them that wealth an
y wickedness 60 hand-in-hand. On
:" meal per day is sufficient for him
- unless we consider lunch la Co
v Sellers n second meal. He has IN.
ny admirers and fewer subscriber
~ but is comforted with the kf0Mleds
q that the former are friends, who's
~ support may be relied on in adve
sity and whose willingness to shal
q the results of prosperity, if it ev'
comes, either in liquid or solid forr
. is one Of the most soothing an
~ agreeable themes of his existenc
i He is not particular as to the natul
or kind of commodity he recciv
u" for subscription. Anything W
ny do, consequently he is fairly supp
'e- ed with cord-wood, log chains, tu
-, -, nips, hay, limestone, empty bottle
Nv horse-shoes, cur dogs and numero'
~ other articles equally useful and (
.e namental. He is editor-in-chief, /.
ne sistant editor, local editor, tighti
ia editor, financial editor, report
~ compositor, job printer, Office swee
Grand devil all combined. He
w supposed to be capable Of writing
ha article on the financial condition
'a' the country, with the same abii
700 as he would describe the flight
81 Moriarty's wife with a book peddl
~ He is statesman, politics
als churchman, merchant, temperar
'sl- orator, farmer, anti-prohibition ,