The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-08-08
CAPILLARY COVERINGS.
From the Foot to the Head
A Sparkling Description
of the Chapeaus.
Some Spicy Reflections Con-
corning the Caputs Of
Our Young Men.
Brains Gagged by the Size Of
Heads.

Heads.
As extremes" are sometimes said to
"meet" in this small part of life, erstwhile
called the world, so ideas which concentrate
at one point are easily caught by some
tidal wave of thought and thrown in an
exactly opposite direction. These reAec-
tions are based upon the fact that, while
last Sundays issue contained brief Sizing
up" of the pedal coverings which grace
a number of our society gentlemen, SO to-
day it has been determined to sketch brief
ly a few statistics concerning their capil-
lary adornments otherwise hats.
| Mr.. Chas Messerly who, as a digni-
tary of power, can hold his own with any
body, has a we'll shaped head and wears a
we'll fitting hat, No. z.
Mr.. Chas. Guenther looks a trihe
"heady," but this fact may be attributed
to his abundant crop of blonde whiskers,
for he only wears no. Z hat.
| Mr.. E. H. Houx, being a triHe afflicted
with disease which irreverent people term
swell head" wears No. Il hat.
Lou Beck, being a little on the smullin
stalk order, and still growing. gives his
L
| Frank Donohue, not having any Jumps
on his Uranium, which he fears will get
out of order by pressure, wears No. 81.
Jno. Jaynes, having developed in the
classic shadows of Ohio's queen city, takes
a pretty large hat, and so sports No. e.
VIM Courtney puts peppermint essence
on his "har," and when he lifts No q
hat the girls don't give scent" for his
feet. His head is level.
| Gus Wells, having an eve In his head
open to the main chance, wears an average
sized hat, No. e, so as 10 be able to change
it without leave for a better one now and
then.
Gus Lamy gets new hat very often, but
as the material in them is small in guam
tity, they don't break him. He wears a
No. Ct.
Harry Black is afraid the amber rays of
his hair might burn hole in his hat il it
large sized No. e.
the stamp of little wit, but will wear a
ridiculous shop O. my thumb" gearing,
No. 81.
Chas. Parker has more brain than he
cares to have people know, but in spite of
his modesty, is Obliged to wear No. At
hat.
Harry Fisher has had his head punch
ed" more ttan once, but carries his socks
and paper collars in No. hat.
Geo. Vest "heads up" pretty we'll, and
while the laurel wreath my never bind his
head low, vet the duty is very good size.
He wears No. It.
r. T. Gentry has "head what is head"
l.. .h,,s.
box. when he attends church, is No. u.
Will Ilgenfritz ought to be ashamed OF
himself, but phrenologist would tell him
his head was too small for the size Of his
feet. He sports No. 81.
Thos. Kehoe is little bit "run to end, "
but averages up by the yard stick pretty
we'll. He wears No. It.
J. A. Mcdonald has. in the days gone
b., been known to part his hair in the
middle. and the only wonder among
his friends is that his head has enough in
it to warrant the wearing OF No. hat.
Chas. Bullen was originally intended for
a second edition of Daniel Webster, but
stopped such long way this side of him
that he would have been much overcome"
in his hat. He wears No. a.
Bert Pierce has plenty of time to de-
yelop, but his mental pabulum will never
kill him while No. 81 hat is his figure.
R. Skinner, being favorite with the
ladies, and not even ashamed to lock q
cow in the face" carries his love-letters in
a No. 81 hat.
w. n. Thorpe, considering the size OF
his feet, would look better in a larger hat
than No. 81, but such is his fate.
Charlie Rockwell wears q neat No. IT
hat. but as he has been advised to soak
his head" the record may even be less.
B. w. Bozman likes the "Fnnien brand
and when his head is we'll sand.papered
wears No. hat.
Ed. Small, being not unlike the great
Alternately, packs away his brains in a
hat which is fit-a No. g
Walter Kent has just escaped the "kid'
period, but can raise a hat to his lady
friends equal to an old stager. He wears
No. q.
r. E. King runs more to alderman pro-
portions than to head, but, nevertheless
wears the latest agony in hats-No. e.
Arthur Maltby has dignity and several
other hefty virtues enthroned above his
eve brows and so hangs on the hat rack
"of Sunday evening" No. It hat.
Chas. Taylor, it is said, occasionally
wears a night cap, but this may be an
exaggeration, as he always lifts No. 81
hat to his lady friends.
Vic Shaw has crammed so much Black.
stone into a very small space, that it is
supposed his death will only be question
of time. He wears only No. 81 hat.
FL. Hardcastle has been known to wear
No. 6 hat, but since he has attained to
years of discretion, has been trusted among
the Delilahs with No. z.
Lon Van Wagner is compelled to wear q
larger hat than his head would warrant
simply because his better half hates q
"hand bag" when she journeys with her
baby, and 50 utilities his No. 1t.
p. Green, not being like his name when
it comes to knowing q thing or two, pack.
away his knowledge-box in No. a hat.
J. w. Fowler being q soft-hearted sort oil
| an individual alvavs in love carries his