Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-01-17
PITH AND POINT.

A LITTLE nut brown made: A peanut
In rooster.
WHEN wild cattle get loose, people are
apt to suffer from hist-steria.
To find lawyer who charges only
nominal fee certainly is phenomenal.
Conn has gone up.-Ercaange oh,
we'll, convert it into whisky and 1t will
go down.
SOME one says that Hold Fellows are
not Masons, although approaching them
in their work.
"WHY don't you have some stlle
about you," said the man who had
looked along mile of barbed fence for
an entrance.
ssDoN'T cut" murmured sleepy GUS
toner in the BARRIERS chair, fresh from
an all-night poker party" don't cut;
let 'em run. "-Burdette.
IF a two-wheeled vehicle is bicycle.
and three-wheeled tricycle., it does
not follow that the one-wheeled Is an
icycle. 1t is wheelbarrow.
No, Pauline, no; the article you saw,
headed walking Matches" did not re-
fer to engaged couples, although many
of them ego as they please.
A BRIDE is reported to have said: 81
told all my friends to have my name put
on my presents, SO that if divorced
George should not be able to claim
them"
THERE must be a great deal of "bouncc''
about newborn babies if newspaper per-
sonals are to be credited. Those that
are not "bouncing boys are invariably
"bouncing girls.
INDIGNANT mother: "Surely, you
don't mean this for a likeness of my son
Why. the boy looks like all idiot" Pho.
tographer: "I'm very sorry, but can't
help that, ma'am."
MOST women spend their lives in rob-
bling the old tree from which Eve plucked
the first fruit. And such is the attrac-
ton of this fruit that the most honest
woman is not content to die without
having tasted it.
s.THE fact u.s." said Smith, melodra-
matically, "my Heart goes out to the
| distressed. I am all heart" "1 guess
| you are" remarked Frogg, more in sor-
row than in anger 81 know that you
| are always on the beat.
A coLoRED cook expected company,
some of her associates, and was at loss
| to entertain her friends. Her mistress
"Suzen, you must make an apology"
"Good Lord, Misses, 1 got no eggs,
no butter, no nothing to make it with.
LAST summer she was eating green
corn by gnawing it from cob, when
her teeth became entangled with a corn
silk. "Oh, DEAR" said she impatiently,
81 wish when they get the corn made
they would pull out the basting threads!'
JONES says his wife is the most thrifty
woman he ever knew. "Why, sir" he
saws. "she has made ten bedspreads
during the last two years; made them
herself, sir, out of the samples she col
lected in her shopping tours during that
time"
ALL women are naturally afraid of .
COW. "Madam, 4" said the oleomargarine
dealer. when she uttered shrek at dis
covering that it was bogus butter she
was handling, "Madam, you needn't
be alarmed. The COW it was made from
is too dead to hurt you"
Four years ago young man, without
cent on his back and only one suit OF
clothes to his name, entered Denver and
begged his supper. Last week he eloped
with his employers wife and $40, 900 of
his cash. Close application to business,
coupled with pluck and industry, wins
every time.-Norr5stoa0's Herald.
essay, boy!" called woman to bare
foot lad, and admonishingly shaking a
fore fnger, "what are you throwing
water on that cat fur?" "The water
won't hurt the cats fur" replied the
youth. and the woman, whose grammar
was rebuked, said she didn't want any
of his "sass. "-NorristoaOn Herald.
"SMIrH," said Jones the other day,
"did YOU ever consider the differentia-
ton of absoluteness as compared with
the indlssoluble absolute?" "No-o-o,
said Smith, "don't think I ever did
: But did you ever consider why pigs
tail kinks to the left?" And that is the
reason why Jones calls Smith diaph
anous ignoramus.-On City Derrick.
skWH1nE an Idaho girl was sitting under
: tree, waiting for her lover, grizzly
bear came along and, approaching from
behind, began to hug her. But shs
thought it was Tom, and SO leaned bach
and enjoyed it heartily, and murmures
"tighter," and it broke the bear all up
7 and he went away and hid in the fores
for three days to get over his shame.
81 MUST say that very much dislike
this ostentatious furnishing" remarked
the elderly Miss Pringle, as she lookei
about her in the new home of the Spank
ingtons. "Now look at that great
deliberately framed mirror. / declare
cap see nothing beautiful in it. " Yo1
shouldn't expect impossibilities, Mis-
| Prinple !" remarked Fogg. the villain.