The National tribune., 1882-10-19
STRIKING IT RICH:
Or, From Kitchen to ParlOr and
Back Again.
by Ethel AUen.l
CHAPTER ".

/ never in all my life long knew it rain
harder than it did the night after we was over
at Mrs. McCatfery's! jim" says, '' it's just
comm down by the bucketfull!"
We'll, let it come" answers Jim. / tell
you this rain is just soundin' nice on the shed
down at that snug little store of Ourn. I most
wish we was back there to hear it, There aint
no sheds to this house; you can't hear the rain
half as plain as we used to hear it. 1t always
pattered so on that shed. could have listened
to it for an hour at time. Now, you can say
what you like, SalIie, but this ere scttin' room
aint one mite more comfortable than that little
old kitchen back Of the store. | never can feel
at home here, somehow or other. When ] get
to smollin' my pipe, and feclin sort of happy
and good-humored like naturally want to put
my feet up on sOmcthin', but there seems to be
nothing here just intended for that very pur-
pose. If l stick 'em up on the mantcl you hol-
Ter out to me that I'll break them china vases
and things, and you won't let me put 'eIn on
any of these fancy chairs unless l hunt all over
the house for newspaper to put under em
first. If there was q good high stove III the
room, then I'd be fixed all right. l never did
like furnace, no way. If | owned this house
I'd have a shelf built all round the settin'
room, so that could put my feet up on it wher
ever happened to sit. Then I'd be prepared
to take life kind O easy. | tell you what it is,
Sallie if we're goin' on livin' like mil.lee-On-
aires 1 must have some place that can take
comfort in. / don't like this ere havin' to do
Just like other people. Now, next summer,
like o. IN whom thp tbprTDOrDntnr is uInatV-
nine in the shade, you'll be maxim me keep
my coat on all the time just because Mr.. McCaf-
fiery and that Boston chap never sit around in
their shirt-sleeves. I'll be bound if l care
cent about bcin' iI-lee- -on-aire in hot weather.
1t don't cost much to live, then, you see; you
can get along with mighty few clothes, and ice
water aint very expensive, so you don't take 1t
through a straw like some people do. You don't
catch me livin' in this style next August! aint
goin' to wear necktie and collar from mOrnin'
to night when it's so hot you can't get good
breath. Suppose we go back to the store just for
the summer and take things kind O comfortable.
1 tell you I miss the store powerful. This
doin' nothin' is Just about trim me out. Now,
it's different with you, cause you have the
house to see to, and the baby to take care of,
and my stockn's to mend, and goodness knows
what all"
"But, Jim," says, "why don't you go into
some big business that's real fashionable-like?
eyes, and lose every cent I've got in the
world I don't know nothin' about any busi-
ness exceptin' the grocery business, and L sup
pose you wouldn't call that exactly fashionable,
- ."
#aHE .ular big place, Jim, it
n. -.t .s -ss.l.nas lough. I'll ask Mrs.
'a..r~ .aare my nice people here
saEs zae. -e.rv $"
rDrat .s lo ug ch thing Her hus-
band Ola 2earG o Crade so of course she
3zs down IA folks earns their ivin' in
s---.. ;, ,,.--- ---- of a way"
"What kind of board is Board of Trade,
Jim?"
"Well, you wouldn't understand if was to
tell you. They buy and sell wheat"
"Why, that's the same as keepin' feed
store, aint it? I don't see why grocery aint
just as respectable"
"Well, FL bet anything Mrs. McCafTery
don't think so! It's considered mighty stylish
here in Chicago to be on the Board of Trade, l
can tell you"
Would they let you on, Jim?"
"Well, they might if they thought I had
considerable money and were in need of little
themselves. l don't think III oblige 'em, how
ever"
Indeed you shant go to lendin' money to
any one, Jim If Mr.. McCanery is that kind
of a man you'd better have nothin' to do with
him, to my 'thiRkin'. See here where's that
book that tells all about havin company that
you got me to-day?"
"I laid it over there on the table. You read
some out loud while finish snol1in' my pipe"
"Why, JIM" L says, lookin' at the name of
the book, "what in the world did you want to
get this for? It's only for gentlemen. Now,
you'll know how to behave and l wont at all.
| think you're real meant"
"Well, how did | know what to get2 I took
the first one the man showed me- l thought he
knew what [ wanted. Tell me the name of
it,"
So I opened the book and began to read the
first page
"The Perfect Gentleman or, Etiquette and
Eloquence. A book of information and instruc-
ton for those who desire to became brilliant or
conspicuous--"
What does conspicuous mean, Jim?"
"Why-why.-wh way ahead of other
people"
az wouldn't mind bein' that, would you,
Jim? Mr.. Raymond thinks he's sort Of con-
spicu6us, doesn't he?"
-" Con7picuou5 in general society, or at
parties, dinners or popular gatherings, contain
ing model speeches for all occasions, with direc-
tions how to deliver them; five hundred
tOastS-"
"Why, Jim, I didn't know there was so
many kinds of toast, did you? never heard
of any but milk toast and dry toast"
"Well, ! rather think l know some of the
kinds he's talkin' about"
"What are they, Jim?"
40, never mind nowl Go on with your
readin'."
-" Five hundred toasts and how to use wine
at table with rules for judging the quality of
wine and rules for carving. Etiquette; or,
proper behavior in company, with an American
code of poiiteness for every occasion. BY
Gentleman"
"That's Just the name of it, jim, and I'm
tired readin' Already"
"Well, / don't wonder. It's the longest
name for book ever | heard Of"
"Jim," says, turnin' over the leaves, there's
nothin' here but whole lot of speeches. You
amt got to learn speech to say Thursday
night, have you?"
"Well, reckon won't make such fool of