The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-12-15
Witty Olergymen.

In the early part of the. present GEN.
fury DIR. Asa Burton, pastor OF the Con-
gregational Church in Thetford, Yer
mont, was one day officiating rs Mod
orator of the Orange Association OF
Ministers, of which he was a member,
and, toward evening, while the brethren
were engaged in criticising an essay
which had just been read by one of their
number, tea was brought in and passed
around. One of the Juniors at once
rose and said, ''Mr. Moderator, shall we
continue our criticisms while we are
eating?" The old doctor pithily replied,
Young men, let your victuals stop
your mouth"
A young minister once preached for
the celebrated DIR. Emmons, of Frank
lin. Mass, and, as he was about COM
mencing the service. he said to the doc
tor, II will be glad if you will offer the
long prayer before the sermon" The
doctor testify calculated. "Whet your
own scythe."
DR.. David Parsons, the old-time pas
tor of the church in Amherst, was noted
for his eccentricties, and, among other
vagaries, used to have plate set at his
table for favorite cat. One day, while
asking blessing at the morning meal,
he was taken with a fit of coughing,
and before the paroxysm was over the
cat mewed. AS soon as the parson could
speak, he turned to the cat and exclaim-
ed. "Shut up! / can get along without
your helpr' and then Struck in where
he had left off and finished the blessing.
Some forty or fifty years ago, when
Mr.. Burchard was itinerating as an
evangelist in Vermont, he had four
days meeting in Burlington, and on
one occasion, Immediately after the SER
mon, he left the pulpit, rs was wont,
and went up and down the church
aisles, catechizing the congregation.
Stepping up to Prof. Farren Benedict,
he said, care you professor, STRIP
Eyes, sir. / am professor of mathe-
MATES and civil engineering" was the
cool reply.
You'll go TO hell, SIR
demonstrate that, if you please, sir"
Mr.. Burchard apparently concluded
the enemy carried too many guns for
him, and passed on.
DIR. Archibald Alexander, of Princeton,
abundant occasion to know. 1t is said
that a young theologue once called at
the DOCTORS study to receive his critic
isms on an exercise which had been
handed in some days previous. The
doctor took up the paper and remarked:
IL see that you have incorrectly writ
ten the first letter in agood many words
in capitals. Don't you know that n
word should never begin with capital
letter unless it is u proper name or the
beginning of q sentencew
'Why, doctor, this is poetryr'
'Is II. indeedp / beg your pardon,
sir. l beg your pardon, sir l wasn't
aware of it,
When Professor Park, of Andover,
was younger man than he is now, he
visited the Walhalla, at Nuremberg. AS
he was standing near the magnificent
temple, lost in admiration, II German
professor approached and, after passing
the compliments of the day, remarked,
II perceive, sir. that you are an Eng
lishman." Professor Park smiled and
made no reply. A moment later he in
quired, ''Do you know the cost of this
buildingp" The German at once cx-
claimed, IL perceive, sir, that you are
an American. l do verify believe that
when an American comes to stand be-
fore the great white throne his first
words will be, How much did it
costp'"-Rev. A. Dean, in The Indepe's-
don't