Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-08-23
RATHER HARD prcK1Nca.

Friend" Hello, Jim, you amt out of
work agsin, are you Z" Unfaithful EN-.
ploye-" Well, yes fact is, I'm not able
to work been injured by premature dis.
charge. y Courier-J ournal.
Nearly four hundred people committed
suicide this year ION account of the
weather." and it didn't seem to improve
the weather a particle. = burlington
Hawkeye.
1t is stated by a Princeton man that the
reason his college is not winning as many
athletic prizes as formerly is that the stu
dents have suddenly taken fancy to books.
philadelphia News.
Down in Texas they call Oscar Wilde
"colonel." When he gets over into Ala.
bam' they will call him "jedge," and in
Kentucky hs will be known as !" gineral.
burlington Hawkeye. >
Rev. Joseph Cook is lecturing in Aus.
tralia. MIR. Cook will be remembered as
Boston gentleman whe gave the plan
upon which the universe was created his
personal Endorsement Chicago Tribune.
Enquirer The easiest bird to initiate is
the parrot. Let bee get down your back
and you'll do it to perfection. Boston
Post.
Who'll say that beasts have ne 'er had souls
That they've no ghosts when once we plant EN-
Who will, his ignorance unrolls;
He's never seen an elept anton
[Courier-Journal
When his cousin Annie got angry and
told of the alleged mean way in which he
had treated her, Fogg simply remarked
that it was an Annie mad version, and he
had nothing to say.-[Boston Transcript.
Professor King Gays he has no doubt that
a balloon voyage across the Atlantic can
be made with safety. just so, Professor
It's the voyage that only gets part way
across that's dangerous. Il Boston Post.
When Middlerib went to Arizona and
was scared nearly to death one night by
the yelling of band CT Indians, he tried
to laugh 1t off next morning in a CHASTITY
way by saying he was only whoop scurs
Then everybody wished the Indians had
killed him. darlington Hawkeye.
Wife" said New Haven man impa-
tiently, why DO you let that child run
around so cirty, so much like little mon
key ran him in neighbor Jones yard
Just now, the worst looking object | ever
saw" Was he over there, though ?"
was the responded inquiry ''well, he'll
pass for Mr.. Jones dirty brat so long as he
is there; I'm not going to worry. New
Haven Register.
An anxious inquirer asks the etiquette
editor of Our Continent in the current issue
If man calling on lady should keep his
overcoat on unless pressed to take it off.
The editor says that he should, and the
editor is right Any man donkey enough
to wear an oyercoat this time of the year
should be made to suffer fer it.-TPhila.
delphia News.
Some men begin to be lucky when they
are mere boys. A twelve.year-ol boy shot
cat in Leadville last week, but fortu.
nately missed the cat and killed an influen-
tial citizen who was asleep in the back
yard of neighboring saloon. AS the in
tiuential citizen happened to be delegate
from Texas, who had killed several men,
and OF whom the Leadville police had
holy horror, the joy of the citizens was
great. The boy received an ovation. The
Mayor made neat little speech on pre-
senting him with gold mounted revolver.
As the boy expressed desire to be raised
for the ministry. fund was raised to send
him to theological institute. Nothing
has, however, been done fer the cat
Texas Slftings,