davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-17

MaJOr ana Judge Advocate.
\. B.-The words embraced in quo
tetion marks in the foregoing remarks
are literally true, and distinctly remem-
bered. TG
To Colonel A. IL. MARYLAND. Washington CITY.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
The First Man a Black Man,

The primitive preadamile man, &C.
cordiug 70 Prof. Winchell. lived in a
country lying between the pres nj
African and Asiatic continents, aud
thence he dispersed himself over the
earth. He was essentially a black man
as distinguished from the white man;
not an African negro, but Of DARK
eathern skin, like the native Arsiral'
ian race. The native Australian is in
ferior in structure and intelligence t.
the African negro; he falls as far be.
low the negro AS the negro below tho
white man, and is more nearly related
to the primitive man than any othel
race. Tie black race now in existcnc,
are the Hottentots, the negroes, tn,
Australian and tie Papuans, the lat
ter who are dark. skinned and almos
black, occupying New Guinea AM
some smaller islands north OF Austrsl
"a.
Primitive man also gave birth t.
the browa races These are nov
found in the islands Of Pacific, and 0
them the Sandwich islanders are spe
cimens. They crossed the American
continent and their descendants ar
Indi.ns Of North and South America
from Greenland TO Patagonia, and, oil
the Asiatic continent, the Chinese
Japanese, the Tartsrs, the Turks
the Maylays, the Burmese, etc.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
The Primer.


/. This'is an.Editor. 'Tceillm sit
ting this Alask. Wi,a,sis the Il litor
Dong? He has in Ills hand a letter.
Wonder what is in the letter? Hear
him read: "lf You will insert this
half column al Tor six mouths, l
will give you key Of ink" What
fuss was that? The editor has only
g 'oancl.
.. Here is ssJ.ncy. How proud
and fine she looksia her,new Sc llsiin
Sacquc. 1t cost ErliSee Hundred Dol
lars. Lucs's farther wial fail next
week. But Lucy will have her Sac
que, altthe- same.
3. Do you see the hig portly man
coming down the street? How high
he holdsllis head sanl'how,prondly he
steps. He cariiesi,his ,dranas in his
mister pockets to Eeep them warm
See, he is sitting down on the side.
walk now. Perhaps he sat down to
tic his shoe string. What is he say
lag? lle.is breaking His New Year.
resolutions into ten thousand pi COS
He is'Huotiug Scriptureifor the beueti
off thclryxn who sli,hitt iput ashes OIL
The sidewalk.
4. Here is poet. lie Is going NJ
in the elevator. How happy heilooks
Pretty soonhe will walk down. look
ing very sal. lie has seen the editor
5, This is a Diamond Pin. Th
Editor won it at Church Fail
There were ten chances at ten cents
chance. The editor mortgagcd hi
paper and tnok one chance. The ri
is worth seven hundred dollars. Ell
tors like Diamonds. Sometimes the
wear them IN their shirts, but genel
| ally in their minds.
8. Mabel is siItingat the piano, an
! She isssinging Song. The song sa,
he,iswai'ing for heriin'tke' g loamin;
MaiA appears TO be Giving herse
dead awsy. lie is not,waiting' for h,
in the Cleaning at all He has iu
drawn abob,ail flush, and is wonde
, ing whether he had Better'pull out {
: stand in on a bluff Mabel woul
tonch responsive chord in Ills boso
. ifshe were 10 sin take back tie han
: which thon gavest.
Z. Here is a man who has just stol
ped his paper. V hat miserab
=, looking creature hei|. lie locks as
lac had been st a'ing sheer. How wi
! he know what is going on, w that
has stopped his paper? He will bo
: row his neighbours paper. One Of the
lays he will break his leg. or be ca
!, dilate for some Office, and then t &c p
ger will say nothing about it. Tb
i. will Sbc treating him Just right, will
: not, little chiliren2
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Asavlag Woman.

With an economical woman ut the
head OF house much can be accom-
plishcd. The idea of saving is a pleas
ant one and il the women inbibed 1t
Mt once, thsywoul,l cultivate it and adj.
here to it. and thus, when they are
not aware of it, they would be laying
the foundation of a competent security
in a'stfrny M, andshelterin rainy
day. The woman who secs to her own
huusc hasa large field to save in. The
best way for Her 10 comprehend it is to
keep account of all current expenses
Probably not one women in Ten has an
idea how much are the expenditures Of
herself and family. Whether $500 oil
IS, 900 are overwhelmingly, there is 4
chance to save something ii the righ
effort is made. Let the housewife taxi
tie idea, ect upon it, and she will So Z
something where before she thought i
| impossible. Tlns is duty. yet not
tsoriid avarice, but MORAL obligation
that rests upon the women as well a
the mcn.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

A clegyman who enjoys the snbstan
teal benefits Of a fine ism was slight
~ taken down by his Irish plowman,
who was sitting at his pillow, in to
bacco field, resting his horse. Therev
erend gentleman, being great ecouo-
mist, sail, with such seriousness,
"Patrick. wouldn't it be good plan
for you to have stub-scythe here
and be hubbing few bushes alons
the fence while the horse is restiag?''
Pat, with quite as serious counten-
ance as the divine wore himself, rcpli.
ell: Sir, wouldn't it be well for you
to have n tub Of potatoes in the pl
pit. and when the congregation arc
singing, to peel'em awhile to be read,
for the pot?" Til, reverend gentle
manllsaghed heartily and left.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Noble Butler.

Noble Butler, who has just died and
been buried at Louisville, was a man
OF great purity and character. Cultur-
ed to very high degree, and simple
minded and gentle as a child, he has
been lsborivus worker in the cause
of education all his life, and has pro.
duced many good woks. He ought tc
have died rich from the proceeds o.
sales Of his books, hut like other worthy
and honest men who have devoted
their lives to dong good, he loft moth
ing behind him except the good that
he had done lie had the soul OF a
poet, and will receive a poet's reward,
EVERY perfumed thought that camo
From the poets silent heart
Shall, In other days, impart
GRACEFUL incense to l,is name.
And the rccds Of trutt, he leaves
On the seeming barren ground,
Shall, In other days. be found,
i Into golden harvest sheaves.n
---[Yeoman.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
A Hitch in the Ceremony.
Brooklyn Eagle.


TIE light was,turned down, and the
clock in the hall had just struck TO-.
They were seated together, and that
mealrs not far apart on the parlcr sofa.
His arm hal gli,led about her supple
form, and her blonde liealrested On the
padded portion Of his best coat. Whey
mad becu silent ior the past half hd,r,
contenied with simply exist in each
others company, and blind to the great
hard world about them. At least he
looked down into her great dreamy eyes
and whispered:
Yet d little while and you will al
ways be close TO my side, darling.
Yes, she murnurcd, faint blush
manting her pretty rounded cheeks
We will glide down the stream Of
| life waited by the wings of cupid, he
gushed pressing her still closer to his
manly form.
We will, she sighed, closing her
eyes, and letting her soul float away
into realms OF fairy bliss.
When come home at night, thed
from my daily toll; you will be there
| to greet me with kiss
That reminds me, she said, Sudden
~ breaking away from his embrace
and assuming pr tty business air
We have agreed upon the day of oul
wedding, have we not, dear?
Yes, 1--we, aad--
OF course, but we have not settled
upon the way we are to he married
she said, luoking at him from undei
her dark, silken ashcs.
| Why, of course, darling, sl'al
leave that to you, letting his ann one,
more fnrtively wander abouther sylph
like form. Let it be in the church o
at home, as it suits you best.
| l--that Isl lave II request 10 make
she said.
Y Well, dear?
You say you will leave it all TO me
To be sure, which shall it be?
Well, if you please, neither, she sal
Flushing.
Why, how is that? he exclaime,
excitedly, you surely do not mean t
throw nc over at this late-O, you d
not mean-
/ No, no! che cried, only if you d
not mind, suppose--suppose We ar
married by the Mayor?
o hum, Yes, to be sue, he ejacu
lated. but mind he is only to take one
4 Only,oRr, she echoed, and then the
fell Tito another reverie.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Avenue Yesterday by,Jim Webster,
who said:
Uncle Mace, III tells me dat yer's
got dc sintrles' trce-ycar old boy in
Austin.
DE man what informed yer stated
a fack.
What ebidence has yer OBJ DAT faek 2
Why, sab, de udder day, 'achicken
cum into my yard, an de boy begin
ter chase him wia,an 'Aistfnck dat
shows what man he's'gwine ter be:
Alex am glad 10 meet sy6n. We
have exchanged sympathy in private
mana script, aud now that I'VE meet
the occasion IL one OF excessive joy,
Is this the extent OF your literary
wardrobe?
No, sir; | am Eugrn, Field, the
nan NRo writes primer for the Den-
yer Tribune. But wait. dom
want any man to take my word:
Here we haye boy and dog
The dog has a big mouth aud The
Boys month forsiaMs IS correspond
ingly large. VIII the'boy lpulp th'
dogs tail? Yes, he will pullhrs tail
win hc phil it twice? No, 'hewil
not pull il twice.
Who else are yo,f2
/ lam numerous others. i am SEQ
I w. ChiIds. 'of the PHILADELPHIA
4 Ledger. .Liste,.
4 ''My dog is dead. Sail Nancy Grey,
4 Come write to-day her bitchuary-
Gone to meet old Towscr,"
Nheavy fall attracted the attentio,
of the porter when he came in II
found the scribe lying on the floor III
sensible. lie will h3t 'recbver.-s
Opic z. Read in Arkansas Gazette
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Wnile There's Life Til y,'s Hope

There is no'condiiion SO low as to
be hopeless, nor any plane so high IA
to be without fear. Many use Brown
Iron Bit,crs in health as well as III
sickness. 1t is natures hest assist
ant in keeping health and in restoring
health. Its use will make You and
all your family healthy, robust and
strong, and save much loss Of time and
heavy doctor bills.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Having torn troubled with a very
bad Cough for about two years and
having tried almost every cough mix
turo that was ever made, | have found
none that has given Inc such great re-
li"l as DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup AMI |
earnestly recommend i''to ala afflicted.
BENZ. +. Duggan, Is Park Pl, n. ".
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Have you Ever

Known any person 10 be seriously II
withouta weak stomach or inactive
liver or Kidneys? And when
these organs are In good condition
do you not find their possessor enjoy
ing good healthP Parker's Ginger
Tonic regulates these important or
gans, makes the blood rich and pure,
and strengthens every part of The
system. See other column.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Wanted to Know-llcw many days
in the March of intellect, the length
OF the Rule OF Three, and the width
OF broad hint.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Al Extensive Humorist.

Say, do you want a5okc? asked a.
mau entering the Gazette Office.
Ii you sce'll tho advertising man
you can probably dispose 1t
Now you are trying 10 insult me
Probably you do not know who 1 am
[ am remarkable man in disguise
am-the author of the Spoopendyke
papers, which you have no doubt
seen Nv tho Brooklyn Eagle.
Thought tket work was done by
Stanley lluntley.
No, sir. Stanley lIuItley Is my
nom de plume. Wait till | give you
an imitation ofmyself, and seating
himself aud rejecting Tor u moment
he began:
My dear, said Mr.. Spoopendykc.
we have received al invitation TO
visit u Christmas tree over at Colonel
Clay's residence.
Amt that too sweet, replied AIRS
Spoopendyke. | always did enjo,
Christmas trees, and once when girl
went ont into the country with IN,
cousin and roamed around the wv,ds
looking for Christmas trees.
Ye did, did c. Thoughtthnt the dod
gastcd things grew up and bloss omed
presents, did ye? Thought that wax
tapers grew like leaves, did We? All
\ yoa want is ten certs worth OF COM
mon bark aud wooden top TO be a
grove. Think I'm going 10 luke sucl
a woman among intelligent people
All you want is TO lace tight to be a
/ campaign pule. Take me for dod-
gasted, measly birch rod?
How'll that do2 Now don't You
think that / wrote those papers
asked the visitor, with the air of q
conquer0r.
You have established your iden.
tity., answered tsse scribe.
And that amt all, continued the
humorist. | do The humorous writ.
ing Tor the Detroit Free Press.
Thought, that Charles Lewis wa'
the Free Press man?
| No doubt sou thought so. Light
minded men are liable to think any
thing. Lewis, or n. Quad, is another
one of my MONS de plume I'll illus
trate:
The other evening, on Wood ware
Avenue car, sMl-iaccd man sal hold
ing an oyster can between HE knees
| Going to have an oyster stew
asked red-eyed man sitting just op
posite.
! No.
! Fry?
| No.
Broil2
No.
What are you going to have?
I'm going to haze the liveliest CIR
Gus with my wife when get hom
YOU ever saw, and closing his righ
eye the sad-iaced man got off the car
| How does that strike you asEe,
the hamorist, with another expires
sion suggestive of vauquisher.
Another establishment of identity
acknowledged the scribe.
am also Bill Nyo.
William, am glad TO meet you.
DO not address me ms William uni
| produce my credentials.
We do not believe that any ma
has right to chew our name. Gu
constitution forbids such familiarity
We are sentimental. When hop
and fear dance with fantastic tipto
on our broad bosom filed with gen
crous throbs, we do not think tina
the moon.cyed editor of anothe
sheet has a right TO slip up aud nj
out a mouthful OF our ear.
The scribe fell from his chair, br
was lifted to his seat by the kind
| hearted humorist.
Now you can call me William.
r William, whispered the scribe, an
tupbling under lot of papers, h
drew out bottc aud refreshed him
self.
My name 10 Alex Sweet, sir, and
write the humorous stuff for tn
Texas SiiIings. Listen:
Uncle Naoe was met on Aust
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Permit no Substitution

Insist upon obtaining Floreston
Cologne. 1t is pre-eminentIy supe.
rior in pernlanencs and rich delicacy
Of fragrance.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

"Gracious! wife," said father as
he lookedat his son Williams torn
tronsers. "get that little bill resated. :"
''ani she replied, "Sew will"
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

"a A r1uETy r, a. Lehman. Solicitor
L al LIN To- Of A aeriean and Foreign
Patents, Washington, ID. e.. All busine =
connected with Patents. whether before tbs
Patent Uilicc or the Courts. pro pity attende
cd o. No charge made unless PATENT IL Sc
cured. Send fol- cifralsr. Der. u 1881.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Sleepless nights, made miserable
by that terrible ceagh. Shiloh's Cure
is the semedy for you. For sale by
Gish IL Garner. t
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
VICES
.lllgsFsAEE. FLORAL GUIDE

FNrfSSe is an Elegant Rock Of $50 Pages, two
inbred l'fAles OF Flowers. and more Than 100
illustrations OF the choicest Flowers. Plants
and Vegetables. AMI Directions FOR growing.
II Is lnltiIsome enough for the Center Table
ORR Hniiiay Present, Send on y6hir name o nj
rJst Onice address. with 10 cents. AMI will
send you n copy postage paid. This Is not a
quarter of its cost It's printed ~ both En-
glish and German, II you AftesWArIls order
seels deduct the 10 cts.
.ViUK'S SEEDS are the best In the world.
The FLORAL GUIDE will tell how get and grow
them.
Nick's Flower and Vegetable Garden, l75
Pages. Coloreti Plates. 500 Engravings. For
80 cents In paper covers; fl,QO In elegant cloth.
In German or English.
vick's Illustrated Monthly Magazines:
Pages. Coloreh Plate In every number and
many duo Engravings. Price flGS 4 year
Five Copies for. $500. Specimen Nmnbcrs
stht forB cents - trial copies fur Is cents.
AdfrSs. JAMES ylCk, Rochester, \. \.
Dee. y0h.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Elisha Morey, tdT Holland, Mass,,
aged 100. tho Oldest inhabilant, died
last week.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
THE NEWSPAPER
ABLE,
NEwsy,
y GOOD AND
CHEAP
WEEKLY COURIER JOURNAL.

The Confessional, Henry Wattcrsoh
Editor. Is by circulation anil reputation the
acknowledged RErREsESTAiyE NEWSPAPER OF
tic South. As rehable and valuable news
paper, II has no superior In this country or in
tho world, II makes earnest. vigorous war ON
Protective Tariff Robbery and Mormon i'oiyg-
amy. two evils that blight the prosperity and
morality OF the united States. ii is able,
bright and ncwsy, contains the strongest edl-
torials, the most complete snminihry NJ the
news ~ tho world, the host tclegiaphic anil
general correspondence. full turf and stock
rcporis, markefreports, fashion reports. Tai
IMAGES scrnicns splendid original serial
stories aud novelties, poetry department for
children, answers b, rorrcsponlrnts. etc.
enc. {; In work cyei,,hlng TO make II o. dc.
light to tho family circle. and invaluable to the
man OF business, tho farmer, the mechanic
and the lab0rcr
Specimen copies and full descriptive Trcm-
ium circulars will he sent free OF charge to
any onco on application. Subscription terms,
hostage free. are-ior Daily, so; sunday, 81;
Weekly sI.b0.
ANY one sending four yearly subscribers
anil six dollurs, will be entitled to m extra
copy ofthe Weekly Courier Journal one year,
free TO any address. htlfrrss.
/ w. N. TfALDEHfAN
Prcsi'ien Courier journal Co, LouisvIlie, Ky
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

INVENTORS S sss5rn,y s as law wan" and
i'atcnt Solicitors. Washington, y. e., for re-
fercnccs and advice, sent rec. We attend cN-
ciusiycl, tn Patent business. Reasonable
terms. Reissues. intcrfercnces. and rases rc-
lected In other hands a specially Caveats s',-
licited. Scnl model or sketch and description
Tor opinion Ms to paicntahility. free ~ charge,
We refer To the Commissioner OF Patents, all q
to Ex-Commissioncrs. Established 1896.
Dee 18th sSl.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Theroad TO matrimony is bridal
nash
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

Advocates of improved 'iiusbandry
Lpid maids.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
INVENTORS

Should address EnIs0N BROS. Attorncy4nt
Law and Patcnt Solicitors. Bli seventh Street
Washington, y. G.. for circulars Of lnstrr-
tions. Reasonable terms. Reference AMI All.
vice sent PREE. We attend exclusively Ia
Patent business Iicissncs, Interforcnres. and
gases r,l'ctol on other hanhs q specially.
c'iot OF model or sketch, npd description No
give orr opinion AS 10 patentahilIty, Free OF.
charge. W. rpfct 10 the Commissioner OF
,ratons,, also to Northumberland Estals
"sheu 1000 ANa La
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

n RAAAndmORpIEgNE lzrb. .,
kStgaHH b Elcured lpiatoa1days Ten years e.
sHE EbH HIN tablished. ioco eureig Write stat
va ~ tRz ngease. n. MArss, Quincy. Mith.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28

GOLD. Z /:
a. ME CA Great chances 10 make mon
ENFNT M ey. Those who always take
HHt advantage Of the guv'l chance
uTHbH III for making money that arr
offered, generally become
"a 70 ~ III Hxealihy. while those who ,lo
not Improve such chances re.
main in poverty. We want
many men. women, boys and girls TO work foi
us right in their oan loraities. Any one eau
do the work properly from the first start. The
business will pay more than ten times orlinu'
ry wages. Expensive outfits furnished free
No one who engages fails to make money rap.
lilly. Yon can devote YOUR whole time to Il {
work, or only yoilr spare moments. Fnllinlor'
nation aud all that Is ncchcd sent free. All
dress STISTUN Il CO., Portland. Maine.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1882-02-28
Time Table in efrec, Jnne ssnl. Issl.

t'i6sc connection NJ Nortonyiic for Mi point,
East Rud West Tho shortest, qujckcrt pnd
most direct lns 70 Huntsville. Cincinnati AMI,
all Eastern liHihts. ~ Dacnsboro junction
for OwensDdin; ~ EliIahciltewn with I. s n,
iiailruad; At I.dnisvllic With he. 4 l.. HALL
roMl. o 4 VI. railroad ant u. A. Mail LIND.
Steamers FIR Cincinnati anil Tho North anil
East; j., NJ. \ I. raiiron,i for inJianapoliA..
Chicago and the Northwest; q. n N. raIlroali
for ST. Louis shi tho West. I, ~, ~,
Gcnn Passenger Agent, Eilzsbcihtown, Ky.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-04-25

The following statement of William
j. CouRhlin, of Somerville, Mass, is 81
remarkable that we beg to ask for II
the attention of our readers. He says
in the fall of 1876 l was taken with
a violent bleeding Of the lungs, followed
by a severe cough. l soon began to
lose my appetite and flesh. l was 81
weak at time that l could not leave
my bed. In the summer of 1877 | was
admitted to the city hospital. While
there the doctors said l had u hole in
my left lung as big a a half dollar. ]
expended over a hundred dollars IL
doctors and medicines. l was 80 far
gone at one time a report went around
that l was dead. l gave up hope, but
a friend told me of DR.. VIM. Halls
Balsam for the Lungs. 1 laughed at
my friends, thinking that my case was
incurable, but l got a bottle to satisfy
them, when to my surprise and gratif-
cation, l commenced to feel better.
My hope, once dead, began TO revive,
and to-day l feel in better spirits thar
| have the past three years.
81 write this hoping you will publish
it, so that every n afflicted with Dis
eased Lungs will be induced to take
DR.. VIM. Halls Balsam for the Lungs,
and be convinced that Consumption
can be cured. l have taken two bot
ties, and positively ray that it has
done more good than all the other
medicines l have taken since my sick
ness. My cough has almost entirely
disappeared, and l shall soon be able to
go to work" Sold by druggists.
iune2sdsod&w1y