davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
A Dog Miser.

Instances of canine economy are by
no means rare; but the account of q
dog mlser is, so far as our records ex-
tend, unique. Uandie, the animal re-
ferred to, was a Newfoundland dog,
belonging to gentleman in Edin-
bnrgh. 1t frequently had money
given to it, because, besides other in
terestlng signs of sagacity, it would
go to the baker and buy its own bread.
But Dandie received more money than
his needs called for, and so he took to
boarding it. This his, master dis
covered In consequence of the dog ap-
p airing one day with break fast roll
when it was known that no one had
given it any money. Suspicion aroused
search was made in the room where
the dog slept. Dandie appeared quite
unconcerned until his bed was ap-
preached, when he seized the servant
by her gown and tried to drag her
away, and became SO violent that his
master had to hold him. Sevenpence-
half-penny was found hidden in the
bed. Dandie did not forego his saving
propensities even after this; but he
exhibited a great dislike afterward
for the servant who had discovered
his hoard and in the future was care
ful to select different place of con-
cealment. Stories Of dogs who carry
money to shops in order to obtain food
are quite numerous; but the following
incident, which was communicated to
the Bristol Mercury, is, if authentic,
probably unparalleled even in canine
records. A Bristol dog was allowed
by certain butcher to receive his
meat on trust, the butcher scoring
each penny-worth supplied on board
with piece of chalk. On day our
canine friend, observing the man make
two marks with the chalk instead Of
one, seized another piece Of meat, and
despite all the efforts of the butcher
to detain him, ran off home with both
pieces in his mouth. Chambers S
Journal,
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
sflerf Misrellang.
Punishment of a Coquette.

A Young woman in California en-
loved flirting 50 much that she forced
men to offer themselves to her only to
reject them and make them unhappy.
Finally her turn came, and she gave
herself away to Il young army lleuten-
ant. The wedding dress was all ready
the invitations out, and the young
couple were sitting together at her
home, when her mother came into the
room, ard in anger remarked: Hat
tie, do You know who the scoundrel
is you have promised to marry !"
She arose to her feet, pale and fright
ened. Yes, scoundrel,' said her moth
er; 'and here she went on, as she
opened The door to another room, is
his Wife At sight Of the strange
woman the girl fell to the floor with a
shrek, and when they picked her up
they found she was insane. She had
to be taken to an asylum. 1t was the
revenge of one of her rejected suitors,
who had persuaded married friend to
personate young army officer. The
uniform was borrowed, aud the whole
scheme concocted only to mortify her.
They did not anticipate such terrible
consequence.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
Liked to Meet a Gentleman.

"May | open the window for you
miss" politely inquired gentleman
of a young lady on the Northern Pa
cific railroad, as he saw her tugging
at sash that had not yet recovered
from the proceeding winter. She
glared at him . moment, and gave q
reluctant consent.
"Folks can't be careful who they
speak to or accept favors FROM" she
remarked after long pause.
"That is very true" replied the gen.
leman, quietly.
Are you a Boston drummer" she
inquired.
mo am not" he answered.
ga hotel clerk?"
mo, not hotel clerk"
"I'm glad of that" she said. 81
never let drummer or q hotel clerk
speak to me. Maybe you're an actor?"
''No, not an actor"
"That's frat class y she exclaimed,
showing her dimples, and becoming
more and more confidential. eff an
actor should speak to me Id die
What is your business?"
I'm a barkeeper, and I'm travelling
West to get territorial divorce from
my wife," exclaimed the gentlemen.
"Oh, I'm SO glad," giggled the girl.
"Reach down i'll my satchel; there's a
bottle of whiskey and pack of cards
in it. I'll play you an odd game of
California jack for five dollars = cor
ner! | like to meet gentleman, and
| know'em when l see'em. Ask the
conductor if he's got a cork screw,
will you?"-Bost0n- Herald.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
Three Slices of Bread.

Three slices of bread shown by a
-four dealer Of Lewiston, Maine (it is a
newspaper of that region which tells
the story spoke for themselves.
Placed side by side, they shaded very
abruptly into three strlkingly distinct
tints. One was of the hue of Graham,
and fell into your hand like half
baked brick. Another was nearly
white. and would be greeted with
pleasure by hungry man. The third
was so white that snow would have to
be bleached TO compare with it; more
over. possessed that spongy texture
which is so gratifying to the eater and
a source of so much pride to the cook.
1t threatened TO dissolve in ones
mouth, and would tempt a gorged
epicure 1t would not be a strain to
say one couid distinguish them in the
dark. The -four dealer deposed that
the three slices If bread were made by
three women from one and the same
kind OF flour. The cook who produced
the slice was dissatisfied with the -four
while the woman who male the bread
last mentioned, said she could make
good bread out Of -four that didn't
cost less than Sia barrel. 1t isevident
that bread cooking is not one OF the
lost arts, but it Is an art which still
contains sufficient mystery to puzzle
many aud confcand not few of the
angels who hover over our flour bar
rels.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
How He was Detected.

Justice Willis, who set fire to house
at Putnam, Il. l., was caught with
difficulty. There was at first only =
detectives vague suspicion against
him, resting upon no evidence. 1t
weuld not have done to arrest him.
for he was man of gool standing,
and 20 much of politician that he
expected to 90 to the next Site Legis-
larure. \ plot was therefore laid to
make him convict himself. A woman
was sent to board in the same house
with him. She pretended to be book
canvssser. After gaining his conf
dence, she told him that she really be,
longed to a gang of thieves, who had
large amount of Government bonds
to sell. Willis eagerly prop" sec to act
as agent Tor the purpose. lie went
with the woman to Boston, where she
introduc d him to several men who
personated the band of robbers. They
Effected to doubt his sincerity. Fearing
that he was about to miss profitable
bit of business, he tried to win their
confidence by telling them Of crimes
which he had committed. He had
stolen from various persons, aud once
in u bank, when counting money,
alongside man who was doing the
same, lie slyly clapped the others pile
on his own, and it was supposed that
a sneak thief had disappeared with
the missing notes. This exploit ap-
parently delighted the listeners Git
turns out to be true story, and they
led him into confession of the in
cendiarism. A concealed shorthand
writer took down all he said, and his
arrest followed.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
The Mocking Bird.

According to the Washington cores
pondent an old attache Of the White
House relates the following incident:
The first time The Mocking Bird
was every played. believe, was by the
Marine Band. 1t was during Buch-
anan's term, and his niece, Miss Har-
rie, Lane, presided with gaace rarely
equaled at the White House The
leader of the band had requested Miss
Lane TO allow him to dedicate the piece
10 her, and she had consented, invit
ing large company to listen to the
first rendition. The band leader, fol.
lowing the programme, first presented
Miss Lane with card, on which was
painted mocklng bird and the in
scriprion 10 you. The composition
Was played in splendid style, and |
bave never heard it since but what
that scene WAS recalled. cln see
Miss Lane bow her acknowledgements
again and again, and almost hear the
murmur of applause from the assemb-
lage. The flavor of that evening hung
about the band concerts for many Il
day.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
A Remarkable Duel.

! Speaking of Dick Winship recalls
his famous duel with the Frenchman
at Marseilles. Dick was then second
lieutenant of our Scorpian, stationed
there at the time, and, as usual, kept
the whole fleet and half the town on
nettles through his endless practical
Jokes. The slang expression for the
Frenchmen in those days was "frog-
eaters and the wife of a French cap
tain of militia having presented her
lord with twins, Dick had the nerve
to tender the happy father, at "a pub
lie banquet, a stuffed group, consisting
of a big frog holding on its knee a
couple of smaller ones. OF course a
challenge followed, and when the Cap.
tain's seconds appeared, Winship, as
the chal llenged party, grsvely insisted
on the duel being fought in the dark,
with pistols, one shot only being al
lowed each man. This new addition
to the code ma lie a terrible stir, but as
Dick held firm the Frenchman was
finally forced to submit. On the ap-
pointed day, after dinner, the princi-
pals were placed, blindfolded and pis-
tol in hand, in room at hotel from
which every particle of light had been
excluded, At a given signal on the
door the antagonists removed their
bandages to find themselves in abso-
lutte darkness, listening to the beating
of their own hearts and each afraid to
fire first for fear of thus exposing his
location to the other. Dick quietly
took off hi. shoes and feeling for the
chimney-in front of which he had
taken care to be placed-he crept up
the tlue, descended through a trap in
the roof, slipped into carriage and
reioined his dinner party, which at
once devoted itself to making night
of 1t in the highest glee possible. The
next morning they returned to the no.
tel and opened the room, which had
been as silent as the grave all through
the night. kneeling in the corner,
every muscle qulvering with the un-
bearable suspense, was the militia cap
tain, his auburn hair turned white by
the terrors Of that interminable night.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
Carrying their Husbands.

Atone time the Duke Of Bav
was beseiged in his castle and
compelled to surrender. His Iau ,
demanded for herself and the other
ladies of the castle that they be per-
mltted to 90 out in safety with all
that they could carry on their backs.
This was granted and to the surprise
OF all, the ladies appeared carrying
their husbands on their backs, and
tor the devotion the Emperor pardoned
them all and set them at liberty.
There are many women, who, by their
industry and economy, to the shame
of the able bodied men be it said, are
carrying their husbands and their
whole households, either by earning
all the money themselves, or by econ
omlzlng while the husband squanders
the earnings in a dissolute and vol
uptuous manner.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
" a II lie TIE =.
A New Jersey darkey has traded his
wife for white and yellow setter

A New Jersey darkey has traded his
wife for white and yellow SETTER
The fashion in New York is to send
stockings (washed Of course) full of
bride cake to the friends of the FAM
lily.
John Miller, the boss watermelon
raiser of Georgia. has one on the vines
which is not quite ripe yet, but already
weighs IS pounds.
Ella Wheeler wants us to sit down
at set of sun and count the things that
We have done Can't do it Ella
That is our busy hour; and besides,
We don't care to keep count of 'em.-
1t wouldn't pay.
The peculiar feature of a Rochester
girls insanity is her mania for saving
wood in the backyard at midnight
There are men mean enough to wish
that such insanity was prevalent a.
mong married women.
Mr.. Gladstone wears ready made
clothing, and when crossing street
always acts on the principal that the
hypothenuse of triangle is less than
the two sides. In place of using the
crosswalk he cuts off the corners, or
crosses diagonally on the cobbles.
Thomas Schofield, aged ninety-one
years, walked nine miles to renew his
subscription to New London paper.
1t is the general impression among
publishers that there is number of tho
subscribers who are waiting until they
are ninety-one years old to come and
pay for their paper.
A society drama was presented at
the theatre at Salt Lake City recently
but when in the third act the husband
began to rave and tear around because
his wife had run away with another
man, the audience with one accord rose
from their seats and exclaimed: 'The
idea If making all this fuss about one
woman! and left the place in disgust.
At a recent fire in Philadelphia q
frightful disaster was prevented by
each fireman bringing out at the risk
of his life keg Of powder of the many
held in the storehouse; yet no one of
them was one half the benefactor to
his race that the man is who destroys
the pernicious literature which is un-
dermining the morals of the nation.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
Ways Of Hotel Beats.

There are a hundred different ways
to beat hotels, and maybe more, said
a detective. Did you ever hear of the
trunk trick: No: Its combination
trick, and can be played by as high as
eight dead beats. They come gener-
ally on a bus, and may have come
from another city on some other scaly
business, completely distinct from the
beating Of hotels out of board and
lodging, or they my have been living
in the city for some time. One beat
will have large Saratoga trunk Ia
den with bricks. A gentleman with
a big trunk will never be presented
his bill before it is due. Neither will
the other seven beats, for they have
large handsome vaiseS
"At the end of \ week when the bill
is presented, they tell the clerks they
are leaving that evening and will set
tie the bill before they go. The time
comes for the gentleman with the trunc
to take his departure. He walks to
the cashiers desk. pays his bill, has
his trunk piled on hack and goes
The gentlemen with the valises dis
appear without paying. When their
rooms are searched, and, behold, their
yalises are also gone. The hotel men
think it very mysterious, and don't
realize that the eight men are lsagued
and that the seven valises
are packed in the big trunk in place
of the bricks. So long as the valise
men hold themselves aloft from the
trunk man there is no reason why the
trick may not be played number OF
times at the same hotel, and the pro-
prietors fooled before their very eyes
each time
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
A CHILD OF SEVEN.
By 4. c. SwINBURNE.

All the bells of heaven may ring.
All the birds OF heaven may sing,
All the winds on earth may bllng
All sweet sounds together;
Sreerer far than all things heard,
Hand o. ha per. tone of birds,
Sounds OF woods AT Sundown stirred,
We,ling waters wiuSone wood,
Wind il warm wan wea her.
One thing yet there Is, that none
Hearing ere lis chime he done,
Knows not we'll the sweetest one,
Heard of mtn henralh the sun,
Hoped in heaven hereafter;
Sott and strong and loud aud light,
Very round aud very light,
Heard from morning : ro>lest height,
When the soul OF all delight
Fills a child clear laughter.
Golden bells of we' come rolled
Never forth such notes, nor TOLD
Hours so hlithe in tones SO bo!u,
Aud the radiant mouth Of gold
Hear that rings forth heaven
II the golden crested wren
Were nightinsaIe-w hy. then,
Something seen aud heard Of men
Might he half as sweet aS when
Laughs IA child of seven.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29
Medicinal Advertisements.
MALARIA

MALARIA
Malaria is an almost in
describable malady which
not even the most talented
physicians are able to faith
ON. Its cause is most fire.
quently ascribed to local
surroundings, and there is
very little question, but this
opinion is substantiated by
facts. Malaria does not nee
essarily mean chills and
fever while these troubles
usually accompany it. 1t
often affects the suffcrcrwith
general laSsitudc, accom-
panied by loss of appetite.
sleeplessness, a tired feeling
and a high fever, the per-
son afflicted growing weak
er and weaker, loses flesh
day after day, until he be-
comes a mere skeleton, a
shadow of his former self.
Malaria cnce having laid its
hold upon the human frame the
door OF the system - thrown open
to nervous diseases The body
weak and eufecbled absOrhs no
naurishment, but SubsISt!ns upon
itself. the digestive organs NJ
longer perform their functions:
heliver becomes torpid, and other
organs failing 10 do their routine
work, speedily become dtSordercd.
and dissolution aal death are apt
to caSlc.
In addition to being certain cure
for malaria and chillS and fever,
BROWNS IRoS BITTERS Is highly
recommended for all diseases requir-
ing certain and efficient tonic. es-
peciallyindigcs;ion. dyspepsia, inter-
mitten, fevers. want Of appetite, loss
Of strength. lack Of energy, etc.
Enuches the blood, strengthens the
muscles, and gives new life to the
nerves. Acts Ike 4 charm on the
digestive organs. II is for sale by
all respectable dealers in mcdicines,
pHce, 81 per botle
Be sure and get the genuine
BROWNS IRON BITTERS.
Take no other.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29

The United States army has become
sadly depleated, thirty of its members
having deserted 'in all directions, -
If thirty more should get away the
army will have to adjourn for want of
. quorum.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-09-29

The courts are getting so they pun
ish people with fine and imprisonment
for borrowing umbrellas. It's no
use, we shall have to buy one.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-04

PUBLISHERS of newspapers are more
poorly rewarded than any other class OF
men in the United States, who invest
an equal amount of labor, capital and
thought. They are expected to do more
service for less pay, to stand more spong.
ing and dead heading, to puff and de.
fend more people without any fee or
hope Of reward than any other class.
They credit wider and longer; get
oftener cheated suffer more pecuniary
loss and are oftener the victim Of mis-.
placed confidence than any other call.
ing in the community. People pay 4
printers bill more reluctantly than any
other. II goes harder with them to ex.
pend a dollar on valuable Newspaper
than ten on a needless gewgaw, yet
every body avails himself of the editors
pen and the printers ink.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-04
Belefonte Enterprises

ssS;&PITH The Nec Year Beilejonte
" promises to derelop into the most
prosperous Of our inland totCns-enter-
prise after enterprise Is being started
BY The capital Of our public spirited
citizens. The CAR WORKS are run
ming to their full capacity, our GLASS
Works are opening ,rih euery slo,o Of
success, the STEEL Works ,SiH gire en-
ployment 10 100 men, the NAIL WORKS,
for iohose success Gen. Bearer uouches,
,ciA shortly offer employment TO hun
dreds Of peopLe-aH these public enter
prises tOiH put Belletonte in the ran
Of prosperous and ,ride-a,oake to,cps.
Here, then, Is room and place for lively,
spirited and actire young men. Among
the best and most successful bus iness
enterprises organized recently Is the
LARGE AND WE'LL FILLED
FURNITURE ROOMS Of JOHN
PROUDFOOT d CO., oppO site he
Bush House-nothing like it in the
County. y visitors TO BeLejtnte ,riH
only take the trouble 10 call at our Store
they ,OiR be surprised al n,c quality,
style and prices Of frst-cLaSs Furniture.
We are aiming TO buy all goods direct
ly from he manufacturers 10ithOut the
Intervention Of agents, so as 10 offer
goods al bottom figures. ONE profit
Is sufficient. We propose 10 fA your
homes ,Vih Pdrior Suits, Bed Room
Suits, Sofas, Odd Chairs, Tables, any.
thing and everything in Furniture al
prices iO,Oer than you can get in this
County. We mean just 'Ohat zoe say.
We dlsO offer he public The services
Of Mr.. JoHN PRoUDFooT, sOho has a
thorough knowledge Of the UNDER
TAKING business, and sokO sciH keep
on hand COFFINS, TRIMMINGS,
de-, together sc;& frss-ciass HEARsE.
Fair prices only seiH be charged. Gipe
'ls trial.
JOHN PROUDFOOT& GO.
I7.3m
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-04
THE PATRIOT.
a Pennsylvania Newspaper for
the General Public.

Tho DAILY PATRIOT is ,Hs aHly u.afuiuE Houfpsper
IuIl.-lrl 90 ih. -fatr rsElia
'rpaiLY PATRIOT malss ,Ireial,y q Psau.,i.
faUIa nose.
.hr DAILY PATRIOT yuh.lt8tffi Associated Pfess
rrvH auf frasIais from 600 guIUtf.
Tho DAILY PATRIOT gives special attention D. Euia
aHd produce uartsfs
Tie DAILY PATRIOT opposes monopoly. lasslsn
and gsntTHlisa'tuu oi p.iiueal T0vsf.
Ifrns 500 prf aHnuu, .ttr.rfy fu ADVANCED 0f
$500 per AHHam ii uuf Ia.4 lU sHeHuye. Fuf any
period irHH fAau HHe FfaT Ht TfnfsafflHuata ratrs
Tie WEiELi PATRIOT be- lsfEe eight page paper.
devoted 20 iitslafarf aaFiruturr s.4gues 1auufar
tuFss. uHsr flaffr'F. s'. Uurr. -t4 each number
u'l u.atalr 90 iiilstFat.u ~ Hae prominent tafle
90 s''H' TAs b. au attractive feature which onnnot
.si 'n IlcaHr 1rrms 81 20. rtf aruuu Invariably 10
advance. Ono 0.gv af tho WEIEi4 PATHlUT ard
saH rrTy rf 'ha lt.'lIHYLla NEEhIT TIMES uIil
H cont n, geaE 90 81 Fl raaa iH aafaHre ilus giving
fio tva paI0ft .r tr r'rrpiuu lfsr- aftbe latter.
1us rafF of the WEEKLY PATRIOT ard one rafg e
tsr COTTAGE iLAETH. au ,E1slIeri monthly mag.
aaUs Published 80 Boston at 81 -u l.er huuuu viii he
ar-i .e rrar far 81 % -s Boa austaa-s send iu youT
auhsHg giFar ai UEra. A8lraas
PATRIOT FJ HLIEHfNs Co.
Harrisburg, Pa
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-04
SWEDISH BITTERS.
- TIL GREAT
Swedish Dyspepsia Remedy!

Ih" chief IrErrllDuf aLd fa giving element Il ihis
Ef'hi remedy BE- aE hFfh commonly LugNu ilftsf-
mint although tut very rfaly found iu tiis oouHtfy
excepting BOO tas '1tfsar Northwest. It ls rsthsfsd
iH rf"tasr ahuHaanor tf hH iaIauarfs iu tho blsak
aHa taa".fIaa WHIu'afgs ui h.fvag HHd Sweden. qua
Iaf. iD connection with other ilgTraiuoss Lreu usfd
among thruslrss 'LsiutIrsy ~ ysas De aup 4 tie
af'airst r'm"di"s 81 b1rlFptia. kidney and LirrT
luWIlutui t'iai h4f rFrf been known
lu placing tHis preparation before the American
lullg se oahaIdIR believe tIaf SO have fiIfd long
f.it Waai. ly giving medicine that Elu H0i on;y
temporarily Grs,'. Egt uIii pasuFsiy cure aystsfsla
hElHrt and Liver FsIHf sf. aI 'ieIf YafiUus sf
frts. each o. suf Ntalaarh. SICK Hr1sarh Pains iu
Goo slir aHa iafE P2If3Nilr - The Heart C9stifs-
aess, Indigestion. yellow FIBn, EullamIng IS tho
Head. Iul'rrst ~ Ift ~ Stomach low flifiis. a..
Three dasfs ulI relieve she vaftt ,ats.
- aHuf angsisi faf bottle aad De- convinced
FfHrr. II cents.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-04
A Fact Worth Knowing.

All Of you and everybody should
know that the heavy stock of mems
and boys clothing, boots and shoes. and
ladies' shoes at the Great Boston Cloth
ing House just opened in Reynolds
block, Allegheny street Bellefonte, Pa,
are the latest styles and best patterns !;
made up at their headquarters in Bos-
ton, especially for the Bellefonte Branch.
This is a fact, worth knowing. Remem.
Der the place-we mean the Boston
Clothing House in Reynolds block op.
posite the Brockerhofi' House, Allegheny
street Bellefonte, Pa. The cheapest
place in the world to buy clothing, boots
and shoes. nolT.2t