davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
WHY WE LAUGH.
"Hail, gentle spring! Diphtherial mild
ness, hail ~ is the way they put it this sea-
snn.-Free Press.

"Hail, gentle spring! Diphtherial mild
ness, hail ~ is the way they put it this sea-
son.-Free Press.
A quarrying man said he couldn't see any
danger in smoking while he was handling
powder. He can't see anything now.
Trout fishing Is unusually good this year.
We have reports Of sixteen-inch trout having
been caught in two-inch streams.-Oa City
Derrick.
A western paper announces that upon the
occasion of q recent boiler explosion In the
neighborhood "between three and four men
were killed"
It isn't only cheaper postage this country
wants, but o postal stamp that will stick
after being carried around in a tobacco box
for six months.
"Women are so contrary" said Blobbs.
~ thought when got married my wife
would darn my socks and let me alone; in
stead of that she lets my socks alone and
darns me-"
James Gordon Bennett has given Mrs. De-
Long $50, 900 In United States Government
bonds. There ere now hosts of women in
this country who are wild to have him send
their husbands to the North Pole.-Boston
Post.
Small boy-Say, pa, can't / 60 and see
the show? Hard Hearted Father-No, my
son; but If you want to see as fierce looking
animals as ever showed their teeth, Just eat
a piece Of mince pie and coupls of cucum-
bers before going to bed.
1t was DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes, we be-
lieve, to whom, as he waited for a prescrip-
tion, the druggist said; 'That is my son, sir,
sitting by you; don't you think he looks like
me9" "Well, yes," replied the poet, 81
think can see some of your liniments in his
face"
A stranger in a printing Office asked the
youngest apprentice what his rule of punct-
uation was. Said the boy: ~ set up as long
as can hold my breath, and then l put a
comma; when cape, insert a semicolon,
and when l want to sneeZe, / make para
graph"
The newspapers that are always boasting
of having the largest circulation of any pa
per in Texas, but are careful never to give
the number, remind one of the poor, but
proud old lady, who beat rag with the back
of hatchet every morning, in order to make
the neighbors believe she had beefsteak for
breakfast.-7esas Siftin0s.
Some awfully mean scoundrel down in
Amsterdam filled a grocer's whisky barrel
with rain water, and the next Monday MORN
ing the Superintendent of Schools, the Presi-
dent of the Temperance Alliance and two
school teachers came round to the store, de-
nounced the astonished grocer as swind-
ling thief and q perjured villain, and de-
manded their dollar and half back again.
-Haukeye.
A German, travelling on the Fort Wayne
road, kindly volunteered to find some ice
"sum blace on der drain" for party of jovi-
al wine drinking commercial tourists. When
they wanted more the accommodating Teu-
ton went 20 find it and returned with the
sad announcement: "Der pagAge-meister
will let me kAf no more. He says mine
bruder- in laws body Won't keep till We ged
to Philadelphia uf dake any more ice Won
der coffin"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16

Apologies for poor dinners are generally
out OF place. But when . lady has forget
full husband, who, without warning, brings
home dozen guests to sit down to plain
family dinner for three or four, 1t Is not In
human nature to keep absolute silence.
What to say, and how TO say it, form the
problem. Mrs. Tucker, wife Of Judge Tuck
er, Williamsburg, solved this problem years
ago. She was the daughter or niece (I am
uncertain which) Of Sir Peyton Skipworth,
and celebrated for her beauty, wit, ease and
grace of manner. Her temper and tact was
put to the proof one Court day, when the
Judge brought the accustomed half-score or
more Of lawyers, for whom not the slightest
preparation had been made, the Judge having
quite forgotten to remind his wife that it
was court day, and she herself, strange to
tell, having overlooked the fact.
The dinner was served with elegance, and
Mrs. Tucker made herself very charming.
Upon rising to leave their guests to their
wine, she said
"Gentlemen, you have dined to-day with
Judge Tucker; promise me that you viii all
dine tomorrow with me.n
This was all her apology, whereupon the
gentleman al swore that snch wife was
beyond price. The Judge then explained the
situation and next day there was noble
banquet.
Moral: Never worry 4 guest with apo'o-
eies.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
POETRY.
THE couNTERsIoN WAS "MARY,n
BY MARGARET EyTTSGE.


Twas near the break Of day, but still
The moon was shining brightly;
The west wind rs 1t passed the flowers
Set each one swaying lightly;
The sentry slow paced to and fro
faithful nightwatch keeping,
While in the tents behind him stretched
His comrades-all were sleeping.
Slow to and fro the sentry paced,
His musket en- his shoulder,
But not thought of death or war
Was with the brave young soldier.
All, no! his heart was far away
Where on Western prairie,
A rose-twined cottage stood. That night
The countersign was MARY"
And there his ewn true love he saw,
Her blue eyes kindly beaming,
Above them, on her sun-kissed brow,
Her curls like sunshine cleaning
And heard her singing, rs she churned
The butter in the dairy,
The song he loved the best. That night
The countersign was "Mary."
"Oh, for one kiss from her!" he sighed,
When up the lone road glancing,
He spied form. little form,
With faltring steps advancing,
And rs IL neared him, silently
He gazed at 1t in wonder;
Then dropped his musket to his hand,
And challenged: "Who goes ysnder?"
Still on it came. "Not one step more,
Be you man, child, or fairy,
Unless you give the countersign.
Halt? Who goes there ?" "Tis Mary"
A sweet voice cried, and in his arms
The girl he'd left behind him
Half fainting fell. Der many miles
She'd bravely toiled to find him.
"I heard that you were wounded, DEAR"
She sobbed; "my heart was breaking;
/ could not stay moment, but
All other ties forsaking,
travelled by my grief made strong,
Kind Heaven watching o'er me,s
Until-Unhurt and well? ?" eyes, love-"
"At last you stood before me.
"They told me that could not pass
The lines to seek my lover
Before day fairly came; but I
Pressed on ere night was over,
And as told my name, found
The way free as our prairie"
"Because, thank God tonight" he said,
"The countersign IL Mary"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
DAvITT,S DEFENSE.
He Replies to n Fierce Attack ON the Land
League.

LONDON, June 5.-Michaei Davitt has
written long reply to a pamphlet entitled
"The Truth About the Land League" pub
lshed anonymously some weeks since, ex-
tensively circulated throughout the United
Kingdom, and now reissued, under his own
name, by Arnold Arthur Forster, the son
of the ex-Secretary for Ireland. The pur-
pose of the pamphlet is to show that the
Land League and those connected Herewith
had in view the commission of outrages,
mutilation, plunder and murder. Evidence
is supplied by extracts from speeches and
newspaper articles. Davitt's reply Is that
the evidence has been garbled, passages hav-
ing been persistently removed from their
context and the mitigating parts suppressed.
The object Of the pamphlet, he says, is to
arouse prejudice and enkindle hate, for
which an opportunity has been afforded by
the Dublin assassinations--a purpose which
be designates As wicked and hateful at . time
when the efforts Of good men on both sides
are being directed to allay passion. "Has
not Forster senior" Davitt asks, ''done mis-
chief enough, without Forster junior coming
forward now ?" It was the Forsters Of CEN
turies, he maintains, who stung Irishmen to
madness and helped to make the people Of
the two countries hate each other, so that
England's accursed system might be easier
to rule and ruin.
To charge made In the pamphlet that In
1870 Davitt was convicted rs felon, having
been In plot to murder, Davitt replies that
what he did In 1870 is'no proof Of what he
did in 1880, and inquiries why pamphlet
which pretends to tell the truth about the
Land Leagues does not tell the whole truth
about his share therein. II drew up the
charter OF the Land League" says Davitt,
sand drew up the instructions to organiz-
ers, and from that time until the orders Of
Forster reconslgned me to convict prison
made q hundred speeches. Why does not
Forster make quotations from any Of those,
il he would find me guilty Of melting to out
| race and murder? The answer Is, he cannot
| defy him to name an instance wherein
did Otherwise than decry force and protest
against outrage. II be cannot do this he haa
no right 70 60 back ten years." Davitt con
cludes with high compliment to HerosF'
Gladstone, and compliments the PFenier or
!. having 20 ~ of Fonter-
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
A Wonderful Rose Tree.
London Times, April 22d.


There Is now growing In the New Gar
dens, Whitby, . rose tr ee which Is at
tracing COED deal Of attention from florists
and horticulturists, as well as from the
general public. The description Of the tree
is known rs the Marshal Neil. 1t was
planted about eighteen years ago, and the
extremity Of Its growth, horizentally, Is no
less than 1O2 feet-4S feet to the left and "a
feet to the right Of the parent stem respect
lively. The average depth Of the tree is five
or six feet. Last year no fewer than 2,5Oo
roses we're plucked from It, and this extra
ordinary quantity will be greatly exceeded
this year. The roses are now IN their early
bloom, and $500 distinct flowers have been
counted, Of which between 800 and 400 have
already been plucked by the proprietor, II.
X. Williamson.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16

Detroit Free Press.

A New York doctor who had patient af-
flicted with nervous prostration, catarrh, and
indigestion, and at last had become a con-
iirmed invalid and kept his bed larger part
of the time, discovered that the trouble was
caused by a defective construction Of the
eyes. After medical treatment and the use
of proper glasses he recovered. Other cases
of nervous trouble, irritability, and lack OF
nutrition were cured by the use Of glasses.
or one hundred and fifty cases of neuralgia,
epilepsy, hysteria, stomach, kidney, and
spinal troubles, the disturbance was traced
TO disturbances In the eyes. He has taken
observations for many years before announc.
ing his discovery. These diseases arise from
lack of coordination In the vision; that Is to
say, both of the eyes do not see the object
looked at from exactly the same angle, pro-
ducing irritation of the organs. This Is
remedied either by glasses or by cutting or
straining the necessary muscles Of the eye.
One case OF epilepsy and sleeplessness was
cured by severing the muscle. Prominent
physicians of New York, although believing
that lie carries his theory too far, are in
clined TO admit that he has discovered new
and important fact In physiology.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
The New Game Of MoiI-Buzzins.

A new feature in crime now claims public
attention. Harry Woods, an Englishman,
was arrested In New York for pocket picking
in which he had displayed degree OF skill
which proved him to be London expert.
His peculiar lay Is known In the parlance
of the Tombs as "mollbuzzing," and the
method ID as follows: The victim stated that
while In the crowd at the ferry he was ad-
dressed by an interesting young woman who
was in much trouble. She had lost her way
and wanted explicit directions to reach
home. He became 50 much occupied In as
ssting this unfortunate creature that he was
easily relieved Of his pocketbook. Another
man complained that he too had been vic
timized by the woman and her pal, who were
In both cases the same. This plan Is very
apparent. sMoli-buxzes" In order to engage
the victims attention while her pal picks
his pocket. This "moll-buzzer" has taken
large hauls this season, but It last has been
brought to justice. It b certainly neat
and original way Of working the crowd"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
The Oriental Jews.


Before the Crimean war, the Jews were
afraid to venture into Syria, and suffered from
great disadvantages under Moslem rule ; but
since British protection has been extended
to them, they have begun to increase so rap
idly as to threaten in time to become masters
of Palestine. They have almost closed the
gates of Jerusalem to the native peasantry
by establishing outposts on the main roads,
where they buy at an enormous discount the
produce of the country, which they retail to
the citizens at profit of cent per cent. They
have instituted a monetary currency of their
own, in the form Of dirty fragments of pa
per, with Hebrew inscriptions, promising to
pay the sum of from one to four pennies
in Turkish coin. These diminutive bank
notes they have forced the peasantry to ac-
cept, and they will rarely redeem except at a
discount. The Oriental Jew is not Iowa
BILE character. To those who know the ed
ucation and refinement which exist among
the European Jews, or who have been ac-
quainted with the true Jewish aristocracy
which is to be found among the old families
of Spain and Morocco, it is hard to believe
that the Ashkenazim can be the same race
with the Sephardim. The distinction of
character is as broad as that of physical ap-
pearance and costume. The tall, black
bearded Spanish Jew, with his aquiline iea-
lures, his large brown eyes, his flowing
robes, and the black turban which Hakem
imposed on the race nine centuries ago, Is
the very opposite of the dwarfish Pharisee
from Poland or Germany, with his greasy
"love-locks," his dirty gsbsrdine, white
stockings, and furry cap-his face vizened
and greedy, his gait cringing and sutservient,
his religious ideas confined to the senseless
repetition of Talmudic ordinances, end his
soul filled only with the desire Of money.
Those who know the Ashkenazim best have
but one opinion Of their ignorance, fanati-
cism, selfishness, and immortality, and the
tales which circulate among men quite free
from any anti-Jewish prejudice concerning
the filthiness of the domestic habits Of the
Oriental Jew will not bear repetition or even
allusion. 1t Is with such specimens of the
ancient people that the four holy cities Of
Palestine are becoming rapidly filled, while
the richer and nobler Jews Of Spain and
Western Europe appear to take, as yet, little
interest in the homes Of their forefathers.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
A Story from Texas.

The following extract from Texas news
paper Is evidently founded on Partisan mod
els: In very mountainous Eastern State,
In very picturesque region q line Of rail-
road was In operation. It was built at one
point up the opposite sides of two noun
tains, with, Of course, valley between. A
locomotive was stationed at the summit OF
each to pull up the trains. In one instance,
when long passenger train had reached
within a short distance of the top the heavy
wire cable broke and away IL went, more rap
idly than the Imagination of the narrator, to
the valley and up the other mountain, hall
mile, like fash, and the presence of mind
Of passenger, book agent by the by, ar
rested 1t from rushing down the other side, as
he checked IL by the brakes. Anyhow, back
the train went to the bottom and again as
cended the other side, thus see-sawing for the
greater part of the day, before the power OF
gravity overcame the momentum. The ladies
skrieked, but the speed was such that the
train left the sound behind, and the prayers
that were uttered on the crest Of one noun
tain were met by the returning train In the
valley.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
A Sign which Conquered.
Detroit Free Pres.

A Wayne county farmer who is much an
noyed by tramps came to Detroit while
ago and had half dozen signs Of 'tSmall-
pox-Beware |" painted to post upon his
house and grounds. Although he had one
on either side of his gate, they had not been
up two hours when rover passed between
them and knocked on the door and asked for
food.
sDid you see those signs on the gate" de-
mandcd the farmer.
"Yes'r, but can't read"
The next one said he was near-sighted and
thought the sign read afor SALE" The third
bad had the smallpox and was willing to
nurse the family. The fourth lad been
vaccinated and was reckless. The fiith had
l remedy to sell, and the sixth, after get
ting away with cold bite, turned T. biz
benefactor and said:
III you want to bea.ths boys knock down
them signs and put up one reading, Hell
wanted 1t never falls TO keep 'em Jogging
straight along"
! The farmer took The advice, and be hasn'
Atramp since.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
Decay of Large Fortunes.

A Carsonite who came up from San Fran
cisco few days ago, spending the greater
part of the time In the vicinity of Pauper
Alley, stated to the Appeal reporter that
there are scarcely ten of the countless
brokers who made enormous fortunes during
the Crown Point and Beicher and subse-
quent Bonanza rises, vino now have as much
as $4,000 lying to their credit with the
bankers. Many and many Of the broken
brokers would, during the palmy days, from
1871 to 1877, clear from $1,000 to 5000 per
day in commissions; but they were not sat-
isfied with such paltry revenues; they had to
buy stocks on their personal accounts, and
In very short time Independent fortunes,
varying from $500,0O0 to $4,000 900, dwin-
died to comparative insignifcance. Many Of
these men, who built palatial residences on
Van Ness avenue and other aristocratic
quarters of San Francisco, with equipages
| and all else in harmony, are now rusticating
with their families In cheap boarding houses
In Oakland and that vicinity. The inform
| ant speaks of one broker, who shall be name
less, personal friend of his, who, in 1877,
had fortune of $3.50, 900 in cash, real es-
| tate and bonds. The broker sent his family
to Europe in 1878, where they remained un-
til the latter Part Of 1877, keeping up an es-
tablishment in Paris at cost of $4,000 per
annum, and his personal expenses In San
Francisco could not have been less than
s25, 900 year. He went into Sierra Nevada
and Union at top notch figures, expecting an
appreciation In values as in the case Of the
Con. Virginia and California mines. The
stock dropped and he began to "average,"
until the stock reach 500 per share; by that
time his money and credit had been exhaust
ed. He is now clerking in banking house
on California street at q salary Of $3.50 per
month. Other similar cases were recited,
but 1t Is unnecessary to publish them.
n
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
A silver Lamp 500 Years Old.
III Paso Times.

While engaged In improving the ground
around the old Catholic church In Ysleta
some parties dug out Of the ground : large
silver lamp. Investigation and research
proved that Ii had been brought over to this
country from Spain about 1543 BY Cordovan,
the well-known prospector and settler. The
lamp il or the very finest silver and very
heavy and valuable. In wAs sent 70 Santa
re, N. NJ, where II was cleaned and burn
ished and returned to the church, N object
or curiosity Is well = valuable relic and
ornament. This church vas constructed "
the year 1880, under the auspices q the
Franciscan frairS.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
NOW LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP.

"Now lay me down to sleep"
When fades the last faint ray
OF the rosy-tinted day,
There gently steals a solemn thrill
Through the evening air so still,
As from each hearthstone, far or near,
Rise the voices of the children clear,
As in their perfect trust they say,
While from their noisy sports they stray,
And twinkling stars in wonder peep,
"Now I lay me down to sleep"
Not alone for childhood fair
Is meant this simple prayer.
But, even unto manly strength and prime
Shall come ut last needful time,
When mid Iife's battles sud len gloom,
He hears the nearest step of fdeom,
And, though strong with samson's power
He knows the coming Of that hour,
And repeats in tones more deep,
~ pray the Lord my soul to keep"
When the form that is now so proud
Shall, with age, be lowly bowed;
When the hair, now black as night,
Shall with the winter snow be white;
When the head slow time is keeping
To the eyes with sorrow weeping,
And vainly tries to call the past,
Slipping from its grasp at last,
Then family from the lips shall break
.'If should die before wake"
Not for little childish dream
Should be told this simple theme,
Not alone for quiet and calm,
But the bivouac and fierce alarm;
When dangers round about us swell,
As when peace and plenty dwell,
From age and youth and manhood's prime,
At lifes closing evening time,
In accents soft and low should break
az pray the Lord my soul to take"
N. Y. Mail-Erpress.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16
The Prodigal Daughter.
Chicago Ne,rs.

81 like the story of the prodigal son, said
Jack Wsrburton, last evening in an address
at Temperance hall, los Twenty-second
street, "and I think 1t was all right for the
old man to take his sinful but repentant boy
back home and dress him up In his brothers
best Sunday suit. It was well enough for
the neighbors to flock around him and invite
him to tea and introduce him TO their pretty
daughters. That was ell right. But If that
repentant sinner had been girl they would
have frowned on her and drawn away from
her. Her father himself would have driven
her from his door. That's the kind Of chari-
ty and forgiveness the world has for fallen
woman. It welcomes her heartless deceiver
into the best society. Pure women fawn
upon him. But the wretched woman he has
dragged down from virtue to . hell Of vice Is
banished with shudders ut her wicxedness.
Christian people remember how Christ for
gave the Magdalen."
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16

An effort win be made by the friends of
Lieut.. Danenhower to secure his promotion
10 rank of Lieutenant Commander. To do
this IL would be necessary to pass him over
the heads of 240 Of his fellow Lieutenants,
but under the circumstances 1t is believed
not one Of the number would object. II
Danenhower does not recover his eyesight,
and he probably never will, he win be re-
tired, 50 that his promotion would not work
injustice to any one, and for his bravery and
suffering in thu performance Of his duty he
has earned recognition.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16

A Maine lumberman last winter had ater-
rible experience. He was cutting down q
huge tree at place some miles distant ftom
the camp. The monarch Of the forest fell
in an unexpected direction, and crushed the
unfortunate mans leg in the fall. When he
recovered from the shock the poor man, "a
his horror, perceived that snow was falling,
and that he would soon be buried; with
great-nerve he began TO chop 1t his imprjs.
Oned leg with his axe to free himself, and
ions--but his leg Va wooden one.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-16

Two new counterfeit coins that are proof
to the ordinary tests are = silver dollar Of
1878 and 1--we dollar gold piece. The dol
lar is faultlessly executed, and the silver
plating il 80 perfect that Il will resist the ap-
piicalion Of acids until it, surface is
scratched. Its weight b exact. The gold
coin il short In weight and does not have tho
true ring.