The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-08-22
FLEA BITES.

'A.!SA9R NzASSSS
COME. LET Us ALL SCRATCH.
Mar, Clemmer says s'that only one girl in Ave
hundred can be happy as cleIgyman's wife -
Why not? If clergyman does s'gc abroad once
in while, that is no reason he shouldn't make his
wife happy. He doesn't have to tell her how
often he calls the good sisters of his parish for,
generally speaking, he is equal' to three or four
women.
A Texas man was married while diving, and
the fashion Journals alter lengthy discussion,
have decided that although his widow nust wear
full mourning for thirteen days, etiquette under
the circumstances. viii permit her To have clocks on
her stockings -Ex.
1t is more than likely that in less than thirteen
days there will be watches on her stockings.
An obituary notice in Utah closes touchinglv-
die leaves thirteen widows and hfty -four children.
FIX.
Probably under the circumstances the reas' II he
died WAS because there wasn't enough left of him
to make good whIp-stock.
"A pair of scissors was foun n killed in
nEsylvania.-
That M. kes bully item-a regular cutting
affair.
An elderly lady proclaims against the immO-
destv Of women sitting cross-leg ed, declaring they
saould sit with their knees hut two inches apart,
no less How about the girls who use one loot as a
cushion ?-EX-
Well, We never heard of young lady who used
her foot as .'cushion," at least when SO MANY
young men in the country are at their service. 1t
would hardly be legitimate for them TO do
Next we will be brought face to face with a
coat tail Irritation. Having the tails covered with
mud in the shape of No. 10 brogan, will mean.
81 don't like her father" Having the coat-tail
rumpled and rent "Sur oundings are too curious
Elk.
Having the coat-tai torn off "more tail than
ballast
Joplin Herald: He who courts and goes away
may live TO court another day but he who weds
and courts girls stil may get in court against his
Just so; and he who doesn't court at all is
lacking much in manly ''gaul."
The editor of the Prohibition Standard discov-
cred piece of cork i'm his ice the other day
t took six grains OF qunne to take the taste out of
his mouth.-Ex.
If the "hole cork had been there, and he had
swallowed it and ii had got stuck, il would have
taken more than six grains of quinine to make him
"hole' again.
We saw a horse-fy up the creek.
cat-nip at her food;
We saw chestnui-burr, and heard
shell bark i'm the wood.-EXchange.
We saw a church-step on the treet,
A plank-walk down the way;
We saw butterfly in the air,
And hat rack one day Paris Mercury.
We saw a cow-sp on a maid
hen-pecked husband run,
mun STALK amid the shade
sign-board i'm the
Mrs. Many. of Kansas. presented her husband
with four girl tables the other day. Many thanks.
We should say many girls.
A Wyoming was appointed sheriff the
other day aDd she Immediately asked for a warrant
TO catch a man.-Ex.
A Missouri woman is always warranted 10 catch
man whenever she finds him.
A society item reads: ''Kate Claxton was
upset in a boat the other day. That isn't so bad
as being set up i'm a b sIt.--EX.
Nor a. being ''bow-ed" up in a 'sset''
III drummer had been in the Garden Of Eden
he would nave tried to get in his work on dam
Evansville Argus The Argus man probably for
gets that there was another party in the garden
EX.
Yes and he wouldn't have cared A. dam for any
BODY else
The weather is quite warm, and the sight of
frost-hIiten heel would be genuine luxury la
few weeks, howev r, the c0al-holer will be .round
gauglng pocket books on winter contracts.-Ex.
True, and bare legs will be hunting blankets,
Mrs. Carrie Chase live in Rringhamton N V
and Is a shoemaker by frafe.-Chcek. If her hus-
band IS poor maa and has only one bench. As is
generally the ease, they viii have an advancing.
over the other shoemaksrs She could wax the
he nm hQF> ms III
run up the leg he could be punching her sole 81
when work is slack he be straightel ing out her
bristles and when she got her heel ready he could
lay on her counter. Or maybe they divide the
hours Tor labor She might peg all day and him all
night In that way they could surely raise stake
- sOmelhing.-Ex.
In the latter place she might raise little kid
slipper.
There are many things i'm nature to recall ten
der memories OF days agone but nothing does II as
eneci ually as the spectacle of mad man. liquid
eyed box aud leather strap going on an eXcur-
sion TO the wood shed.-Ex.
Undoubtedly such incident would make some.
thing tender, but We have never heard it called
memories before-nor behind, either.
link shirts have garnet or sherry colored
Waists>-AfEus Well, a. Gilbert is a married
man we'll take this authority. We never saw
one as high as the W iist.-Grip.
Waist not, want not.
The British queen still insists in holding a tea
party in Egypt. nd darkly hiI is thar Arabi's con-
duct savors Il treasen.-Ex.
Accordingly Egypt makes il hot enough TO roast
Turkey.
Miss Nellie johnson is spending a week i'm
Einp9l1a. That's rather lengthy spend
Shouldn't think She could stand it-Ex.
She didn't stand it; she-she-well, You know how
it is yourself.
A man cannot be very religious when he feels
seventeen ounce cucumber getting up no!icv
circus under hisve lie feels that he has vested in
teTest profanity factory and forge;s the collects in
the colic-EX.
But dO.'t you forget 1.-THE calico doesn't forget
the coll cts.
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