Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-11-02
A BLOW TO THE GOVERNMENT.
Bill Nye Resigns the Office of U. 5.
Com ssiOner.
Laramie Boomerang


we shall resign the office of U. S. Commits
sioner for this judicial district, an office
which we have held so long and with such
great credit to ourself: Fearing that in the
hurry and rush of other business our con-
! temporaries might overlook the matter, we
have consented to mention briefly the fact
that at the opening of court Judge Blair will
be called upon to accept the resignation of
one of our most tried and true officials, who
has for so long held up this corner of the
great national fabric.
It has been our solemn duty to examine
the Greaser who sold liquor to our red broth
er and filled him up with the deadly juice of
the sour mash tree. 1t has devolved upon
us to sinch the soft-eyed lad who stole baled
hay from the reservation, and it has also
been our glorious privilege to examine in a
preliminary manner the absent-minded party
who gathered unto himself the u S. mule.
We have attempted to resign before but
failed. One reason was that it was a novel
proceeding in Wyoming and no one seemed
to know how to 60 to work at it. No one
had ever resigned before and the matter had
to be hunted up and the law thoroughly I'M
derstood
The office is one of great profit, as we have
said before It brings wealth into the Golfers
of the United States Commissioner in a way
that is well calculated to turn the head of
most people. We have, however, succeeded
in controlling ourself, and have SO far sup
pressed that beastly pride which wealth en-
genders. With salary of 1925 per annum
and lead pencils, we have steadily refused
to go to Europe, preferring rather to plod
along here in the wild West, although we
may never see the beauties of a foreign
shore.
Official duty was at all time weighing
upon our mind like leaden load. Oft in
the Silly night we have been wakened by
moment on some distant reservation, some
pale-faced villain might be selling valley tan
to the gentle, untutored Indian brave, and it
has tortured US and robbed us of slumber
and joy. Now it is relief to know that
very soon we shall be free from this great
If an Indian gets drunk on
the reservation or time-honOred Govern
ment mule is stolen, we shall not be expect
ed to get up in the night and administer
swift and terrible justice to the offender.
Old-man-with-a-torpid-liver can get as drunk
as he pleases on the reservation. 1t does lot
come under our jurisdiction any more. We
can sleep now nights while some other man
peels his coat and acts as the United States
nemesis for this diocese.
Some time during the ensuing week we
will turn over the lead pencil and the blot
ting paper of the Office to our successor We
leave the Indian temperance movement in
his hands. The United States mule kleptO-
maniac also we leave with him. With a
clear conscience and an unliquidated claim
against the Government for 1886, the earn
ings Of the past two years, we turn over the
office, knowing that although we have sacri-
feed our health, we have never evaded our
duty, no matter how dangerous or disagreea-
ble
Yet we do not ask for any gold-headed
cane as a mark of esteem on the part of the
Government. We have watch that does
very well for us, so that testimonial con-
sisting OF gold watch, costing $3.50, would
be unnecessary. Any little trinket of that
kind would of course show how ready the
Department of Justice was to appreciate the
work of an efficient officer but we do not
look for it nor ask it. A thoroughly fumi-
gated and disinfected conscience is all we
want That is enough for u.s. Do not call
out the band. Just let us retire from the
office quietly and unostentatiously. AS re-
CARDS the United States Commissionership
we retire to private life. In the bosom of
our family we will forget the turbulent yoy-
age Of official life through which we have
passed, and as we monkey with the children
around our hearthstone we will shut our
eyes to the official suffering that is going on
all around u.s.