Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1882-11-22
SELECT.
The Singular Vote of Aut TilbOx
From Harper's for T ecember, 1882.


with the citizens of the place as the
bearer of an honorable, ifnot OF pro
foundly aristocratic name; but in th,
occasional brief notices taken Of my ex
istence, was designated only as ''tha
young man from Boston," Moreover
to gain any idea Of the sublime scorn
the severe and overpowering ridicule
implied in those simple words, one
should hear them as they fell from The
lips of the Amity town oracle, the oc
cupier of the armchair in the Amity
country store, Colonel Sonorous B
Bacon. The Colonel's own pseudo
nym of "Snore" which might even be
supposed to bring smile to the fea
lures of the uninitiated, was regarded
among his townsmen as title of pom.
derous dignity and respect,
That young man from Boston, said
Colonel Snore-to who m my insignif.
cant presence at the opposite end of
the store bad not been MS yet on this
occasion rovealed-'that young man
from Boston everdently has towerin'
opinion of himself | consider it dooty
and kindness to that young man to
take him down peg To which the
others of the Colonel's audience, un-
fortunately conscious of my presence,
although they graciously forebore to
make any audible assent, replied by an
expressive silence.
This imputation of inordinate con-
ceit, l found afterward, was solely
attributable to the fact that, during my
stay in Amity, severe cold in the
head caused me to have frequent re-
course to some white linen pocket
handkerchiefs; while, as still further
taunt to this unmanly weakness on my
part, the Colonel's own method Of
blowing his nose, by the unaided
means of his thumb and forefnger,
was brought, | now remember. into
loud and frequent requisition.
Yet despised and ridiculed as | was,
[ clung meekly to the ever-varying
theatre of interest afforded me by the
conduct of the Amity magnates, and
so that | might occupy humble seat
in the auditorium of the country store,
bore the Colonel's derisive shafts
with silent resignation.
1T is beautiful and thrillin' sight,
gentlemen Colonel Snore began,
seated now amid a transient company of
droyers, his whole countenance glow
with SPLENDID consciousness of the
occasion and of his own ability to
chinn Int I eIa1o1 nth
the fatal impulse to sneeze. drew
out my despised pocket-handkerchief
with depreciating gesture. But the
Colonel paused
Been to Boston lately" he inquir-
of the group, with an expressive wink
and a slight inclination of the thumb
in my direction.
'Wa'al, yes, tolable so,' one answer
ed.
Il hear they've been tryin' to get
it Incorporated as city-eh?' the
Colonel continued, indulging in still
more vastly facetious play of the eye
brows
'Wa'al, yes, believe they made it
out some little time since replied the
willing votary of his heartless wit.
Glad to hear itl' exclaimed Colonel
Snore with loud emphasis-'glad to
hear it! Let perseverance and writer
Gus industry have their reward
Having paused to crush me in one
feeting moment of amusement, the
Colonel now resumed that thread of
his discourse to which the pompous
gravity of his tone had been SO evi
IDENTIFY adapted:
1T is beautiful and thrillin' sight,
gentlemen, amidst the party strife
which is devastatin' our country, the
fraud and pussonal ambition ragin' in
the capertals of our land, to turn for a
moment to view the perlitical situa-
tion as it is here in our little country
town of Amity. Yes, gentlemen, we
may not be fastijeus, we may not be
yet Incorporated as city, but we can
thank Heaven that there is yet one
place in our land onblighted by the
hand of perlitical corruption, and
where patterotism is still a name.
Not, gentlemen, but what we have
had here in Amity some very closely
contested elections, and on some occa-
sions / do not deny to have witnessed
no small display of party spirit; but
this is owing not so much, gentlemen,
to our discord as to our uquanimity.
Sech is the uquanimity of our vote
here in Amity that we have become
distinguished fur and wide for our ties
And in our caukerses ! have frequently
heard it brought to point of issoo,
not to defeat this party or to carry
that party, but, 'Countrymen and fel-
| ler citizens, let US on this momenchous
occasion nerve ourselves to the con-
flict, brace up our scattered cohorts,
and do our durndest to avide tie!'
AS clost a perlitical contest, per-
haps, gentlemen, as | ever witnes ssed
occurred here some year or more ago,
when Jedge Marlborough and me,
one and severally, competed ag'inst
each other for the j'int Office of Town
Clark and Registrar of the town o.
Amity Though often urged to it by
my feller-citizens, | had always prev
ously refused to run, lukertive busi
ness of my own-ownin' perhaps
the largest tobacco farm in the State
gentlemen-havin' made it ompossiblt
for me to engage to any extent in pol
critics. But 8eardsley came to me,
and says he; 'Snore, the fate of the
Republican party of the town of Amt.
is a-hangin' on your hands. You ant
you only can afford to meet the Jedg'
on this campaign Jedge Marlbor
ough bein', with perhaps one excer
tion the richest man in Amity.
have carried the Republican party OF
my shoulders for five years. say
Bearsley, and should continnoo in i
as my dooty and my priverlige. Blu
my tobacco crop has gone back on n!
this year, and ] know my fgger.
know that | amt competent to tn
ledge