The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1882-04-06
LIGHT LITERATURE,
4 Woman Who was Bound 30 Put
Stop 90 It's Publication.


The other day 8 stout woman, armed
with an umbrella and leading small ssr-
chin, called at the office Of a New Xsrk
| boys story paper.
s'Ls this the place where they light lndi-
ans?' she inquired OF the gentleman in
charge. s>Is this the locality where the
brave boy charges up the canyon and
speeds bullet TO the heart Of the dusky
red-skin2 2,' and she jerked the urchin
around by the ear and brought her 'ann~
brella down On the desk.
ssWe publish stories for boys" replied
the young aaan eVasively.
| II want TO know Il tteese are the prem
ises on which tho daring lad springs opon
| his ffery mustang and, darting through the
circle OF t1aunderstruck savages, cuts the
Icaptive's cords and bears him away 1efofc
! the wondering Indians have recovered
! from their aatonialamenG! That's the In
| formation Ifm after. | wants 70 know If
that sort Of thing IL perpetrated here I"
and she swung the umbrella around her
head and launched Il crack at the young
mans head.
Il don'e remember those speeiflc acts, -
protested the young man.
Il want to know ii this Is the precinct
where the adventurous boy jumps on the
| back OF buffalo and with unerring m
picks off one by one the blood thirsty pur-
suers who bite the dust at every crack OF
! his faithful rifle I'm looking for the place
where that sort Of thing hapDens'" and
thia time she brought the unluckv young
man a tremendous whack across the back.
II think~-." commenced the dodging
victim
stI,n1 in search OF the shop in which the
boy road agent holds the quivering stage
driver powerless with his glittering eye,
while he roIs the male passenger with AL
adroitlless born Of long and tried expert
ence, and kisses the hands Of the lady pas
sengers with 4 gaElantry OF bearing that
| besneaks noble birth and c1livalrous ma
| ture," screamed the woman, driving the
| Young man into the corner. ssl,m looking
FOR the apartment in which the business is
| transacted. - aud down came the umbrella
with trip hammer force on the young man. S
head. .@
ssUpon my soul, ma sam-'' gasped the
wretched youth.
tsI want to be introduced TO the jars IN
which you keep the boy scouts Of the Sier-
ras! Show me the bins full Of the boy de-
tectives Of the prairie Point out TO me the
barrels full Of boy pirates Of the Spanish
main - and with each demand she dropped
the umbrella ON the young mans skull,
until he slipped over the desk and sought
Esafety In q neighboring canyon.
am teach 'en1 !,,z she painted, graspirg
the t,rehin by the ear and leading him of.
III teach lem to make it good or dance.
Want TO go fight Indians any more? Want
to stand proudly upon the pinnacle OF the
| mountain aud scatter the plain beneath with
the bleeding bodies Of uncolnte1 slai:a :
| Want to say shist!' in tone that brooks
no contradiction? Propose to spring upon
the taffrail, and with a ringing word OF
command send broadstde into the richly
laden galley, and then mercifully spare the
beautiful maiden in the cabin, that she may
become your bride24 Eh. Going to do it
any more?'
With each question she hammered the
yelping urchin tsntik his bones were sore,
and he protested his permanent abandon
| ment of all tEe glories enumerated.
*@Then come along" said she, taking
him by the collar. '.Let me catch you
around with any more ramrode and cary
ing knives, and you'll think the leaping,
curling, resistless prairie fire had avept
with a ferocioas roar Of triumph across the
trembling plains and lodged in your panta-
looms to stay. Brooklyn Eagle.