Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-01-04
THE MAJORS MONKEY

THE MAJORS MONKEY.
When 1, very young subaltern, frs
joined my regiment 1.-THE Royal Manx Flu
sileers) the depot had been for some 81,
months stationed at the delightful town o
Ballynoggin, County Longford, Ireland.
| suppose my brother officers had by tina
time contrived to exhaust all the resource
of the neighborhood in the way of amuse
ment, for on my arrival found them re
duced to three topics of conversation
First. snipe. shooting bog with bird II
it lying within reach. Second, the saying
and doings of the three Miss McCrans daz
ziing beauties, daughters of the local sole
itor, who kept Cargo" and resided il
stucco villa with s. Castellamare painted
on the garden gate, on which the manly
forms of two or more of the Royal Many
were generally to be seen leunging con.
versation with the lovely Ger'ldine OIL
Norah. Third, Major Ma illier's monkey,
and why he kept it.
The snipe became bore now and then,
ones interest in Ger'ldine's bewitchine
Irishisns or Norah's conquests might even
flag occasionally, but the mention Of Con.
COS name or his latest iniquity brought ex.
element into our --LATEST moments di.
rectly.
Congo was a beautiful little creature,
with long, soft fur, dark face and paws,
and gentle, mournful eyes, the temper of a
wild cat, and the morals of an imp of dark
ness. BE was supposed to reside in a
house, made of wine case, in Carmody,
the Majors servants room; but except for
the purpose of secreting his plumber in the
straw, never was found there by any
chance.
Every device that the mind of man could
conceive, and Carmody hit upon fresh one
once week at least, failed to secure him.
He bit through leather and rope, united
knots, picked locks, dislocated chains and
always ended by flying like a demon
spider, up and down every passage and
staircase in the place-Carmody swearing
in his wake-till he gained some coign OF
vantage whence it was impossible to dis
lodge him.
To appreciate the situation one should
have known the Major.
He was a sedate and dignified parsonage,
about 40, very quiet and rather precise and
"old maidish in his ways. l always sus.
pected that he considered himself created
by nature to be the regular pattern of the
British officer and gentleman, and intended
his dress, demeanor and conversation to be
instructive studies for us youngsters
was so perfect in its way. l can't imagine
why we didn't detest him. l think we
were rather proud of him and considered
him credit to the regiment. He was a
thoroughly good, kind hearted fellow au
fond, and it was generally understood that
he could if he chose do everything better
than anybody else. He didn't often choose
and generally held aloof from our sports
and pastimes, not only refusing to enter his
horse for our steeplechases, but actually
declining to lend him to Miss Norah Nc
Gran for the same occasion.
His dress was study of cut and color,
from the parting of his hair to the toes of
his boots but think his rooms impressed
me most-such combination of military
precision with feminine prettinessss
trophies of warlike weapons lace founces
to his shelves and chimney board tiger.
skins, crewel- work, antimaeassars, military
models and plans, and old china. He had
some valuable engrayings and Photographic
about, and over the fire. place hung a large
water-color sketch, Brockwood," Leices.
tershire-a magnificent old baronial resi-.
dence-which, without the slightest foun'
dation for the idea, we all agreed to be the
Majors birthplace or Inheritance, of which
he had been somehow wrongfully deprived.
There was also big writing. table, sur
rounded by laden bookshelves, at which he
spent most of his spare time, celebrating
and revising his great work on tactics, o.
which we were won't to speak with respect
full admiration. Now imagine, over THU
scene of peaceful propriety four-armed
fiend rampaging, leaving destruction in hi
train; playing all manner of impisi
pranks, hiding bottle of Brilliantine,
carefully uncorked, in the Majors boots
swallowing every stud he possessed under
the delusion they were bon bons or bonn
harding him with freshly corrected proof
sheets orumpled and chewed into pellets
and you'll have some notion of the never
failing zest the existence of Congo gave Il
life in Ballynoggin.
Why did he keep it
Some of Congo's performances turned
him ivid with rage, but never drove hin
to condemning the brute to exile or exc
cution.
Every man has his pet extravaganza,
he was won't to say, smiling serenely. s.
suppose Congo is mine"
never but once saw Major Marillie
nearer to being excited than when a rumol
that Congo was lost arose.
He wasn't, the beast; he had as many hid
ing-holes as magpie. My bed was one
and there he was found Tin company with
Carmody's backing brush, one of the Ma
jor's immaculate CATERS, and the big OWL
head with the red glass eyes that used Il
AroC..,,. L
time to prevent his master from bursting
into tears, or offering fl00 reward, eithel
of which seemed imminent.
What did it mean?
We speculated, argued, betted, nearly
fought over it, SO disproportionate grew tn
excitement in the dull stagnation of on
lives in Ballynoggin, and got no nearer th,
truth. Once the solution of the enigmi
seemed within our grasp-thanks to Mr.
Terence O'Flaherty.
He was local "squireen proprietor o.
the before mentioned bog, whom, In defaul
of other society, we used to invite continu
ally to mess.
BE was heavy enough when sober ; late
on, great on Home Rule and the departe'
glories of Ireland and his family, eth
fightin' Flahertys," duelists of note in th
brave days of old, when Castle Flahert.
was kept up in princely style and tn
"clar't in the cellars would have flooded
the country for miles round.
O'Flaherty was mixing himself som
whisky and water one evening before de
parting. romancing the while gloriously
when suddenly black figure descended
with swing and bound from somewhere
alighting on o Flaherty 3 shoulders. Congo
of course. He clawed fast to o Flaherty'
hair with one hand and plunged the othe
into the scalding brew, presumably Il