davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
FUNNY SIGHTS

I saw a cow-hide in the grass,
A Iush-light on the floor;
I saw candle-stiek in the mud,
And a bell-puneh at the door.
| saw h0rse-Ay up creek,
A cat-nip at her food;
| saw chestnut burr and heard,
A shell-bark in the wood.
| saw a jack-plane of board,
A ear spring of the track.
] saw-dust off the floor,
And then a carpet-tack.
| saw a mOnkey-wrench hat
From a fair lady's pate.
| saw a rattle snake bird,
And hogs-head on the plate.
| saw a brandy-smash a glass,
| saw a shooting star;
/ heard the corn stalk 10 the field.
And pig-irOn erow-bar.
I saw a pin-wheel off a post,
And sheel-wright in a shep,
! saw a gin-sling upon bar
! saw a ginger pop.
/ saw a house-fiy over a field,
/ saw an Ox-rOast too;
| saw a shad-rOe and q clam-bake,
And saw the chicken-stew.
| saw a sword fish from a bank,
1 heard the water-spout
| saw tobacco-spit, and then
| heard an eye-bawl out.
| saw a fence-rail at the inn.
heard a wsiEt-band play
A lsyely strain-a sweet spit-toOn--
And then ] went away.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

understand each other Miss Arm
strong could not long resist a lover who
had been faithful to her for five years,
even when he believed her lost to him
forever; and George resolved to marry
her out of hand, so that there should
be no more misunderstanding. Some
times Mark Beauclere chaffs them
both little about Georges mistake;
but always boldly asserts that the great
mistake was Marks after all
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

AS CONFINED air is poor conductor
OF heat, all fabrics that are porous, that
is. full of little interstices, tubes or holes
filled with air, are the best protectors
to keep heat from escaping from the
surface of the body. A loosely woven
garment or bed coverlid is warm er
than compact, firmly woven one, be-
cause the air in the texture OF the Tor
mer conducts away heat less rapidly
than the more solid ones. Loose-fitting
garm ents are warmer than close-fitting
ones, for reasons above given, and also
because the air space between them
and the skin is non-conductor of heat
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
To g7hom it may Concern:

~ - HOHt u may NOHSS''ts
In the Rochester N. Y, Democrat and
Chronicle of December 81. 1881. there APP
peared a statement in the form Of card
from DIR. J. 3. Henion, of this city, re-
counting his remarkable recovery, from
Bright's disease of the kidneys, after sew
eral doctors of prominence had given him
up. by the use of preparation manufsc-
tured in this city and known as Warmers
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.
We are personally or by reputation ac-
quainted with DIR. Henion, and we believe
he would publish no statement not literal
ly true We are also personally or by
reputation well acquainted with ii. ID.
Warner & Co., proprietors of this remedy.
whose commercial and personal standing
in this community is of the highest order.
aud we believe that thew would not pub
lish any statements which were not liter
ally and strictly true in every particular.
Z. X. PARSONS, Mayor, Rochesier.)
WM. PURCELL, editor L1tiOn and I'D
W. b. STUART, Surrogate Monroe
EDWARD A. FROST. (Cl, k Monroe
E. B. FENNER, District Attorney, Mon
roe County,
DANIEL I. Hunt, POSTMASTER, Roches-
ter.)
]. M. DAvY, (Ex-Member Congress,
Rochester.)
JOHN S. MORGAN, Special Co. Judge,
Monroe Coz
HIRAM SHELLEY, Capitalist and Seeds
man,
w. G. RowLEY, County Judge, Monroe
County,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
A Young lady in Milwaukee has sue

A young lady in Milwaukee has sued
a young man for kissing her, claiming
$4,000 damages. She AYERS that ''he
then and there did seize'plaintiff by the
shoulder, put his arm around her neck
and did then and there kiss her." and
by reason of said act the plaintiff "was
greatly hurt in her feelings, and suffer
ed and underwent great mental pain.
Milwaukee girls are much more sensi
tive than those around these parts.-
Boston Post.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
READ THIS Now or NEVER.

The very best remedy ever invented for The
cure of general i'll health, especially dyspepsia,
bad blood nervousness, universal lassitude, weak
kidneys liver troubles etc, is DIR. Guysotts Y ell
low Dock and Sarsaparla. 1t will not harm the
most delicate invalid. Its use wonderfully re-
wives the mental faculties increases the power of
physical endurance and makes the blood rich, red
and pure, enabling it to couptera It the effect of
exhaustive and facilitating diseases. In locali-
ties where this remedy is best known, druggists
find it difficult to supply the demand. 1t contains
Yellow Dock, Sarsap arilla, Juniper Iron, Buchu,
Celery, Calisaya, etc. Every physician knows the
merit Of such ingredients.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

MENsMAN's PEPToNIzED BEEF Tonic, the only
preparation of beef conainingis entire Nutritious;
properties. 1t is not mere stimulant like the
extracts of beef but contains blood making,
force generating and DEMONSTRATING properties,
invaluable for INDIGESTION DYSPEPSIA, nervous;
prostrttion and all forms Of general debility also,
in all enfeebled conditions, whether the result OF
exhaustion, nervous prostration, oyer-work, OF
acute disease, particularly if resulting from pull
monary complaints. Caswell, Hazard & Co.
Proprietors New York Sold by druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

FII.LETs OF MAcKEREL. - Bone a
mackerel, cut each fillet in two, dry
them and sprinkle them freely with
pepper and salt and chopped parsley;
fry them in butter or lard For the
sauce boil the bones, strain and thlcken
the broth, add the juice of lemon to
taste, serve under the fillets. Garnish
with sliced gherkins.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
Mourning at the White

Mourning at the White House
Anything taking place to-day ?" asked
Mr.. Frelipghuysen, as he walked in
and elevated his boots to the top OF
the cabinet table. Nothing" replied
Mr.. Arthur, without looking up from
the tantalizing pages of the patent
office report. There were lots of fell
lows here who wanted to take one,
however" Thus doth the oasis of in
nocent mirth light up the barren waste
of official life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
RAEITMAI,ISM

There has been no medicine for Rheumatism
ever introduced that equals Durangs Rheumatic
Remedy. 1t is as sure to cure as the seasons are
to fellow one another. Many of our prominent
men here in public life have used it with great
success. We unhesitatingly recommend it,
Washington City Republican.
Sold at all drug stores. Price one dollar. Six
bottles for FIVE dollars Write for free circular to
the proprietor, R. X. Hepenstine, druggist,
Washington, d. C..
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

Mr. L. i. Roland, of Covington, KY, writes:
81 had given up ever finding relief from the ills
that afflicted me / suffered greatly both men
tally and physically. Pimples and boils were all
over me. The smallest cut or wound would cause
a sore. My digestion troubled me, and my back
and kidneys panied me severely. A friend rec
commended DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sar-
saparlla Thanks to its use, am again in sound
condition, and never can grow weary of prais-
ing il to my acauantaDces."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

JASMINE BIscUIT.-Beat up some jas
mine flowers, freshly gathered, with
white of eggs and loaf sugar. Make
them into small biscuits, lay them on
paper covered with sugar, and sprinkle
more on their surfaces. These bis
cults require to be baked at a moderate
heat
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
Pastor NJ. L. Oh

In her advertisement the lady princi.
pal of a school mentioned her lady as
sistant and the reputation for teach
ing which she bears )" but the printer
left out (which" so the advertisement
went forth commencing the lady's rep
utation for teaching she bears
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
RED-wIDpEN ANp C,HED

W. f. HuEsTIs, Of Emporia, Kansas. says that
his wife has been sick nearly seven years, and for
the last four months bed ridden. She has been
treated by number of physicians and only grew
worse. Her attention was called TO DR.. Peree's
g Golden Medical Discovery" and "Favorite
Prescription which she commenced using. In
one week she could sit up, and in three weeks
could walk about. By druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

1t is considered vulgar in New York
to count your change for purchases, and
you can take your choice between being
thought vulgar by counter jumper, or
being swindled by him.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
Kescueh frnm heath

William j. Coughlin, of Somerville, Mass, says
In the fall of 1876 I was taken with a violent
bleeding of the lungs, followed by a severe cough
/ was admitted to the City Hospital. The doctor:
said I had hole in my left lung. l gave W
hope, but a friend told me of DIR. VIM. Halls Bal
sam for the Lungs. got bottle, to my sur.
prise l commenced to feel better, and to-day
feel in better spirits than l have the past thre'
years l hope that every one afflicted with dis
eased lungs will take DIR. VIM. Hall's Balsam. and bt
onv inced that Consumption can be cured.n
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

A gentleman, whose vocabulary was
mixed, wished to praise certain lady
reader of this city. EYES," said he,
"besides being very fine elocutionist,
she has a great deal of ejaculation"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

The Little Rock papers mitigate the
crime of a man who committed suicide
there last week, by saying it was his
frst offense. Very likely he had not
been long in the state,o he would have
made the attempt sooner.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
Warranted.

EDNBURe, Ills, Dec. 10, 1881.
We recommend Pisos Cure to all our customers
and, in fact loarr0nt every bottle: and glad to
say it gives entire satisfaction. We think it the
best cough remedy in the market.
BRowSBAcK BRos.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
General Debility and Liver COMPLAINT

r. V. PIERCE, NJ D., Buffalo, n. Y: Dear
Sir-My wife has been taking your Golden
Medical Discovery" and Pellets for her livsr
and general debility, and has found them to be
good medicines, and would recommend them to all
sufferers from Liver Complaint, Sour Stomach,
and General Debility. Yours fraternaly,
N. Il. HARMON,
Pastor M. L. Church, Elsah, I'll.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

Monopoly defined Class in defini-
tions-"What is monopoly THAT
rival establishment over the way"
when is a monopoly not monopoly ~
"When it is in your own hands,"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

Young, middle-aged, or old men, suffering
from nervous debility or kindred affections
should address, with two stamps for large treatise
WoREDs DIsPESsARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION,
Rufalo Y
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

The market is flooded with worthless and vile
compounds for the rejuvination of the hair, but
Barboline, the great petroleum hair remover and
dressing, as now improved and perfected, still
takes the front rank as the best preparation ever
offered TO the public.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

The alterations at James Morgan's,
East Water Street, Milwaukee, are pro-
ceeding favorably. He has just opened
an immense stock of table linens, en-
broideries. black cashmeres. etc.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

Nuns BISCUITS. Beat up the whites
of dozen eggs and add to them six
teen ounces of almonds, blanched and
pounded into paste. Then beat up
the yolks of the eggs with two pounds
of powdered loaf sugar, and mix all to-
gather. Add to these half a pound Of
flour, the peel of four lemons grated,
and also some citron peel sliced
small, and make the whole into q
paste, which should be put in petty
pans previously buttered, and only
half filed, and then bake in hot oven.
When the biscuits begin to turn brown
turn them in the tins, sprinkle some
sugar ever them and again put them in
the oven until done.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

LONE JACK Mo-, Sept. IA, 1873.
| have been using Hop Bitters, and have re-
ceived great benefit from them for liver COM
plant and malarial fever. They are superior to
all other medicines. p. NJ BARNEs
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

Suggestive wit: Diner Ito waiter)
"This chop is very dry" Waiter Ito
diner): perhaps, then, you had better
order something to drink with it."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

Avoiding the vulgar Miss Araminta
Gushington speaks of the solemn sea-
son of loaned" She never could bring
herself to say Lent. 1t is so painfully
vulgar, you know.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
RocHrsrRR. N. Y. Jan. 81. 1882.

S1Rs !: Acknowledging your favor duly
received, we would say: The best proof
we can give you that the statements made
by DR.. Henion are entirely true, and
would not have been published unless
strictly so, is the following testimonial
from the best citizens of Rochester, and a
card published by Rev. DIR. Foote, which
you are q liberty to use if you wish.
III. III. WARNER q Co.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
Rochester. N. Y. Feb. Q, 1St

Rochester, N. Y, Feb. 2, 1882.
GENTLEMEN.-Your favor is received,
The published statement over my sigma
ture, to which you refer, is true in every
respect, and L owe my life and present
heath wholly to the power of Warmers
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. 1t is not
surprising that people should question
the statement / made. for my recovery
was as great marvel to myself, as to my
physicians and friends.
J. d. HENIoN, M. d.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

The Hon. Frank Hatton, first assist
ant pcstmaster-general, and Hiram
Price, commissioner of Indian affairs,
we're on the floor of the senate to-day.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16

"Lucy, dearest, can you forgive me !?
1t was all dreaded mistake from first
to last l thought it was you Mark
wanted to marry: and when he told
me that evening that he had proposed
and been accepted, Twas frantic, Aunt
Hester never once entered my head.
Lucy's reply was little uninteili-
gible, but after time they managed to
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
AnriOus mGtbers

n @1N EKT~&AANN WIIV IVF0 NIIIIU-
-stHt tUu1 ~E1tUlUEIJ rem and want them to
grow up healthy and
strong and useful men and women, all want DR..
Sozinskey's great book THE Care and Culture of
Children 1t is mothers handbook, from the
infancy to the nlatury of her children. and its
use will save many lives. more doctors bills. and
tens of thousands from wrecked health and
wrecked morals. We do not publish or sell in
any way any book that we cannot heartily rec
omnend and we add this to our Household Sc
ries" of useful books with great pleasure. Sold
only by subscription We want agents in Iowa
Michigan Nebraska. Wisconsin and Dakota Cir
culars giving table OF contents free Commissions
liberal. Address A. G.. WILCOX.
MinneapOliS MINI.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
CONNECTIONS.

AT MILWAUKEE-WIth all mi AMI steamer lines
tor all points East, " est ai:u S"Iiih"e I.
(Nctr-I he through cars OF tbs iue to and from
Chicago are via g. VI d t p R'y.
Al AMi!t RS JUNtT t0>--Nnh tt~een Bay, Wino>
ua and st Paul railways FIR the V est.
AT JUNCTION t1fY-Mth " Use .I,sin Valley Divis>
ion C., Vi. & II. =. R'y f. Waas;,G and NIrrlili
A ARbOfSF 'tD- Com ectipns are made between
tiaiis Oh Vic nsin Certral anu Ni-oousiu = ai,n-
nr-oia , iE oad-.
Al ~. PAuL-nith all radtoads North, South ard
West
AT rOKTAGE-Wita G.. VI / S.. 2. R'y TO- Madison
and the w. 81.
points.
+. y. FINNEY, JAS. BARKER,
Gen Mtiiagtr, Gea'i Pass. s geiit.
N'iwaut Milwaukee.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
Old English Divorce Law.

A man being convicted of bigamy
before Mr.. Justice Maule, the follow
ing dialogue took place: Clerk of As
size-What have you to say why
judgement should not be passed upon
you according to law? Prisoner =
Well, my Lord, my wife took up with
hawker and ran away five years ago,
and | married this woman last win
ter. Mr.. Justice Maule-I viii tell
you what you ought TO have done, and
if you say you did not. know l will tell
you that the law conclusively pre-
sumes that you did You ought to
have instructed your attorney to bring
an action against the hawker for Grim
inal conversation with your wife. That
would have cost you about e100.
When you have recovered substantial
damage against the hawker, you would
have instructed your proctor to sue in
the ecclesiastical courts for a divorce a
mensa ct thoro. That would have cost
you 9200 or $500 more. When you
had obtained a divorce a mensa ct
thoro, you would have had to appear
by counsel before the house Of Lords
for divorce a vinculo matrimonii
The bill might have been opposed in
all its stages in both houses of Parlia-
ment; and altogether you would prob
ably have to spend about FL 900 or
1920. You will probably tell me
you never had thousand farth-
ings of your own in the world but
prisoner, that makes no difference Sit
gtin here as a British Judge it is my
duty to tell you that this is not
country in which there is one law for
the rich and another for the poor"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
A Cry rrosa azacedouia.

The MedfQrd Star and News of last
week contained the following novel
appeal to its patrons:
Beloved subscribers: Upwards Of
four long years, in sunshine and in
rain, well or ailing, in fortune and in
adversely, we have sent out the Star
and News weekly to you without miss
ing clip. We have given you good
advice, lake father; we have shout
cd with JOY when your children were
born and wept with you when the icy
hand Of death has snatched from your
circle loved one. We have worked
increasingly for the good Of our coun-
try and state, and lied like a thief
when there was no danger Of being
caught at it. We propose in the fu-
ture to do what we have done in the
past and 4 heap more too. But we
are in need of the sinues Of war An
editor, like the balance of mankind,
must occasionally eat, and for the sake
of decency, lie is compelled to have
one suit of clothes at least. Now we
have on our books more than q thous-
and dollars in accounts, and in our
pocket piece of string, broken knife
key ring and counterfeit quarter.
There is no wood in the shed, and the
last time little Pete went for Uncle
Joe's wood pile he was shot at twice
Now this is a horrible state Of affairs,
and if you don't come to our rescue
we will be obliged to walk off with the
balance Of Keeler's kindling wood.
1t was at Nice, last winter, that
the following charming illustration of
the Daisy Miller from one of our fair
country women occurred: Two English
girls were standing at the foot of q
hotel staircase roaring with laughter.
To them came swiftly the matron of
one of them, exclaiming: 'For heav-
ems sake, Mable, don't! They'll take
You for one of those horrid American
girls" One Of the class thus sweetly
designated happened to be standing at
the head Of the stairs, and gently OBJ
served: 81 guess not, with those aw-
fully big feet
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
The PEOPLES Weekly

The sum of Fifty Dollars in gold - the party
sending the second largest list. Thirty dollars in
gold and TO the party sending the third largest
list. Twenty Dollars in gold.
The Peoples weekly is the cheapest and best
illustrated paper in the country. II is printed by
the well known house of Rand. McNally & Co,
Chicago Ill. aud contains every week elegant
illustrations OF current events American and for
eigu scenery. views, portraits Of eminent men OF
the day etc. als0 choice stories By The best writ
erS. anecd ties sketches. ETC. to amuse please
and instruct. and is the only two dollar per year
just hall the price charged for other illustrated
papers.
Send in your subscription for the Peoples
Weekly at Onca-for your name must be on our
subscription list 10 enable you to compete for the
above prizes.
The pr!zes viii be paid in gold coin and the
successful lists together with the names of the
fortunate competitors. will be published il full
in the issue of December Esd. 1882.
Address ali letters and make postoffice orders
payable 10 Manager
THE PEOPLES WEEKLY Chicago. III.
We guarantee the Above to be carried out in
every particular.
RAND, McNALLY & co.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
LAND OFFICE AT BAYFIELD,. WIS. |


NOTICE Is hereby given that the following
manned settler has fled notice of his intention
that said proof viii be made before the Circuit
Jadge, or In his absence the Clerk OF the Circuit
Court AZ his ef1ce at Superior, Wisconsin on De
cenbeT Ist, 1852 az 10 o'clock d. m, viz: Joseph
keta lack u. his presumption filing for the Ell
of 5 "a and NJ ofS Il Zee. - 7. IS. r. u W.
He names the following witnesses to prove his
eonpnuous residence upon. and cultivation of,
said land viz:
William II Patterson, John NJ Hall William
Cox and William NJ. Robinson sll of Superior,
Douglas County. Wis
JOHN r. KNIGHT Register
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
GENERAL ELECTION NOTICE.
FITS. EPILEPSY.
Or
FALLING CrrYNrac

permanently cured no humbug by one
months usage of DR. Gouiards Celebrated InfaI-
iiDie flt Powders To convince sufferers that
these powders will do all we claim for them we
Hlil SEND them by mail, post paid Free Trial
box. AS Dr; Goulard is the only physician that
mas ever made this disease special study and as
TO our knowledge thousands have been perma-
nemtly cured by the use OF these powders we
Will guarantee permanent cure in every case or
reIund You all money expended. All sufferers
should give these powders an early trial and he
convinced of their curative powers Price for
large box. So, or boxes TOR SO Sent bv mail 10
any parl or the United States orCanda on receipt
Of price, or by express c. O. d. address.
ASH & ROBBINS.
$50 Fulton ST.. Hroolslvn II. Y.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16
The Normons have been thirt,

The Mormons have been thirty
years building a granite temple in Salt
Lake City. and it will take at least
ten more to finish the work, in case it
is ever carried TO completion, which is
now considered doubtful There is
difficulty in gathering the taxes LEVIED
upon the believers for this purpose,
and the GentileS already count on
turning the structure INTO State
house when Utah is admitted TO the
Union.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-12-16

When the editor makes & mistake
in his paper all the world sees it and
calls him liar When a private cit
izen makes mistake nobody knows
it except a few friends and they come
around and ask the editor to keep it
out of the paper When the private
citizen dies the editor is asked to write
of his good qualities and leave out the
bad. When the editor dies the private
citizen says: Now that old liar will
get his deserts. oil City Derrick.