Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-10-27
GEMS FROM THE ANTIQUE.
some Anecdotes WhIc! car Ancestors
Considered Funny.

\ traveller solicits an order and re.
ceives for reply 81 have no order to
give but that you put on your hat and
walk e. He oheys, and shortly after re-
turns. well, sir" said he, 81 trust
your former order was executed to your
satisfaction Can do nothing else for
vou?' His wit and good humor sue
ceeded
There was Il tout, or horse watcher ito
use the poliicr cpithcD, Jew, who very
early one morning picked up roll Of
banknotes On Newmarket Heath. The
unconsidercd triies had been dropped
near 'rhc ring on the fiat" the afternoon
before. What have You got there Mo?"
exclaimed brother tout lucky rs us
ual." Lucky, you call ito" grumblCd
the man in reply, rapidly turning over
the notes, the expression OF his face be-
coming more disconted rs he examined
figure after figure in each corner Of the
pieces of paper. 'I.ucky, S'welp me
Lucky it is All fvers--not a-tenner
among en-
AT the beginning Of the present century
a trick was played on a learned antiquary
by student who pretended to have
found. on the heights OF Montmartre, an
ancient stone bearing the inscription
C. F..".S. Il. i......C. l.. LIZ. C......H.
l.. M...l. \. D....E. S. A. A.N....E T.. S.....
Many members OF the Academic dcs
Inscriptions were said to have been
caught by it. The more they cudgeled
their brains, the further they wandered
from the Interpretation thereof. Where
as, the letters, read straight on, would
have told them that "C'est lei lie chemin
des anes. "'T Hills. Is. L. H......E.P.
A.T... II, +. O.R D.....O. n. K....E. Y.
S....." This is the path for donkeys. u
"rhe age has grown so picked one
only chances now and then on a provin-
cial Mayor, Alderman or Town Council
lor, who upon the Bench or in the Coun-
ell Chamber, makes laughing stock of
himself and of his office. The descen-
lants of Dogberry are few and fan
far between. 1t seems like centuries
ago that the Alayorof South Durham
borough, in replying, on great occasion,
to the toast Of the evening namely his
own health and that Of the members OF
the corporation, of which he was dis,
tinguished head, exclaimed, with visible
emotion We'll, all | can say, gentle.
men, is, we goes it like brickr" Dog
berry is no; dead /; and yet, not 80 very
long ago, at n borough by no means re
mote from that Just mentioned, the
worthy chief magistrate sentenced {
prisoner 10 be imprisoned for a term o
six calendar weeks
An old Scottish dame, rather too font
OF "the mountain dew was one day
"unco droutnie,' and without funds
wherewith to provide "a drappie." Sh'
thought there was q chance of getting i
ON credit from n public house near so
summoning her little granddaughter, she
said Classic, gang round to Donalt
MacCailum and bring me gill. Tel
him ri pay him i the morning" Bacl
came the damsel with n refusal, Donald
declined to part with his whisky withou
cash. Eager and irritated, the old womai
cast about tur some means of "raisint
the wind" aud her eye fell upon the fam
lily Bible Here, lassie, she said, "gi
him this, and tell him to keep it until
bring the siller" on went the littl
messenger, who soon returned, however
bearing the Bible. Donald was obdurate
"He says lie maun hae the bawbees frs
granny" With mn angry snort the oil
grandmother threw up her arms and eS
claimed "Losh, did onybody ever hea
the like othGt The man will neithe
tax my word nor the Word o God for
gill o whisky" !"
Literary puzzles, now the fashion, ar
not exactly u novelty. An advocate
named Marchant, took it into his head
write long love letter, from which tn
vowel should be excluded. 1t exists
printed, but absurd.
In 1916, one Roden outdid the low
letter by composing "La Piece sans A,
which IS acted (but only up to the con
mencem nt of the last scene) at til
Theatre des Varieties, drawing crowde
house to witness the first performance c
this dramatic cripple. The curtain ros'
Duval entered from one siie OF the stag
and Mengozzi from the other The fir
words uttered by the latter personae
were. "Ah monster vous VOLTA " I
which the whole audience burst into
roar of laughter. 1t was curious b'
ginning for "A Piece Without an A.
Luckily, Mengozzi was within earshot {
the prompter, and corrected his mistak
with "Eh, monsieur, yous voici y
A more successfully solved puzzle
related by NJ, Oscar Commettant. in h