The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1882-08-04
A Strange Dream.
MI IN


3 Mars was the general government. There seem
cd to be two great parties Of nearly equal
i strength, which were waging a bitter political
y warfare against each other. These parties.
= thought, were known as the Democratic party
ss and the Republican party. An amusing part Of
II was that perhaps not one person in q hundred
could tell the essential difference between re-
!: public and s democracy. There seemed to be no
essential difference; though there were few in.
cidental differences; but each claimed to be
government by the people. The chief difference
3 seemed to be merely verbal-the name of one
i party being derived from language and that
of the other from another-the primitive words
meaning about the same.
thought that about fifty eight out of sixty
Nexperiments with this form Of government had
3been failures; ~ il seemed that the average
sslarsite politician never ceased to ring changes
on the superiority and stability Of this form of
government.
l thought attendeda political meeting, which
seemed to be the anniversary Of some great po.
ltical event in the history of the province. Il
seemed that everybody was there, eagerly wait
ing to hear an address from the Hcnorable Yer
bose Fuss and. Feathers, sort f political lead.
er and general oracle. thought that the dis
unguished gsntlman arose with deliberation
apd dignity perfectly stunning, and after sur
ing the audience, opened his mouth and
nike somewhat thusly:
"Friends and fellow citizens Of this glorious
and mighty republic! "lend me your ears"
Know all men by these presents Ali Ahm!
(cheers.) When in the inscrutable course of hu.
man events, All Aim it becomes necessary
for the citizens of great and peerless nation to
celebrate the glorious deeds Of their noole and
patriotic ancestors, who fought, bled and died
, for their country-evcry one falling with his
''back to the field and his face to the foe." At
this, thought the whole crowd Jumped several
feet high and came down with yell that would
put TO shame the whistle Uf dozen Mississippi
steamboats,. About hundred men had clualiy
jumped clear out of their boots. Yell succeeded
yell. The air was full Of hats. 1t seeemedNth hat
all bedlam had been turned loose OH that partc
ulsr spot.
Order being restored, the great man went on
TO give glowing description OF the wonderful
progress of the country, predicting n future far
more glorious. Eyes. patriotic fellow citizens"
said he, 1.-THE time has already come when
peak Of the Aleghanies it's oeak in lake Onta-
rio, the end Of his tail in the Gulf of Mexico
the end Of one wing in tho Atlautic and
the end Of the other in the Paci6c-we can bid
defiance to the world" (a) When the great or
'ator took his seat. it seemed that the yelling
and throwing Of hats would never cease.
What does all this mean? thought | asked
.ofa very serious, sober looking man, who had
been standing all the time under q tree outside
the crowd. IL may be owing to obtuseness.
said but really fail to perceive that your dis.
tinguished orator has said anything to justify
crowd.
!, 'tlt makes me sad the man replied, ..to think
= kdfihc ignorsuoe and folly of large majority of
1ss gas has is
and bombastic pla,i,udes to have been an oration
OF supernal excellence"
But why all that noise and ado, even had tho
speech been one of the best? | askel.
"fou are probably not aware of the fact my
friend replied. "that large portion Of our peo-
ha nafh fharn f~tn
out making fools of themselves. The religion Of
our people, said he, sis largely kept up by an
annual rally in the summer, when vehement
eIhortations. anxious Seats and everything
adapted to work on the feelings and PASSIONS Of
the people, are made to play prominent part.
These measures are sometimes carried to such
extremes that an intelligent lady told me, that
in her neighborhood they could hardly have log
rolling or q corn 'shuckihg without inviting up
"mourners" atthe ,!ose. "Just so," he contin-
ued, is it in politics. It is out of the question
for our people to carry on political cam paign in
aquiet sensible manner. Their patriotism is of
that peculiar kind which needs red shirts. the
yelling Of brainless mobs and the booming of shot
less guns to stimulate, strengthen and perfect IT,
II makes me sad to think of il all." said he for
noise and tumult mean disorder disorder means
weakness and weakness means decay"
Here, thought, was about to tell him how
diherent 1t was on earth; but he seemed dis
posed to talk, and kept silent.
ALREADY, he continued. sis the political weak
ness manifested by noisy mobs in grotesaue cos
tunes, showing itself in other forms of unmis-
taxable disease. The body politic exhibits
various symptoms Of disease, one of the least
gS2minent OF which Is peculiar kind of surface
SshPtion, which, in some respects, resembles
certain phases Of skin disease in man, which the
common people call ''breakings out" Every
two years and every four years, the body politio
is afflicted with this breaking out. The symp.
toms "are peculiar. For some time before
tho eruption, or breaking out" actually com.
mences there is restlesness, with feverish symp-
toms Men seem more disposed to 90 to public
places At length they look and talk in an
ominous manner, as If they were convinced that
some great event was about to happen, but were
uncertain what IL would be. 10 u short time
She "breaking OUT commences. At first not
more than one or two pusiules appear, with slight
ttching. The eruption steadily increases and
fhe attendant sympto oms become more distressing
Suoh notices as the following now begin to ap
pear In the local papers:
''The v,ry many friends, relations, acauaint-
anees, and we'll wlshers of our very excellent
most worthy and accomplished fellow citizen.
Colonel Edward Sno. ks. most respectfully an.
nounce him as candidate for the very arduous,
importaat and responsible office Of Dogpel,er
aud General Regulator. Our disting guished
friend is too well known and his many virtues
aud accomplishments too highly appreciated to
MANY VOTERS"
1.-The amusing part Of il" he continued, sis.
that these fnlsome notices ore usually either
written or dioated by the very excellent persons
themselves. This peculiar breaking out, "he
continued, "now rapidly increases. with great
restlessness and itching. The excitement and
restlessness spread NIL the body polite, ill
crisis Is reached. On certain day the peo-
pie ai certain places. called polls place small
pieces Of paper. or plaster. upon the ernp,ed
portions OF the cuticls Of the bpdy polite The
r effect Is magical, The restlessness and itching
eoon cease and the eruptions heal up; but the