The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-04-07


and laugh in my face, You vile scamp"
roared Josiah, picking upa carpet footstool
and hurling it at Charles head, while the
latter ducked, as the swirling footstool with
projectile force swept the dressing-table
clear of its ornaments.
"Out of my sight" screamed Josiah,
now fairly demented.
The young man still hesitated hoping to
| explain; but Josiah seized the poker, and
would have used it as a projectile hal not
Charlie. still convulsed, fled quickly down
stairs and out at the front door. When he
got there, he requested the two men to carry
the coffin back TO the station and afterward
| adjourned with them to the only hotel in
the place, to explain and laugh immoder-
ately at this most amusing misunderstood
ing.
Meanwhile, Josiah helped Mrs. Meikle to
put his unconscious wife to bed. There
after, he hurriedly donned his apparel,
threw on his overcoat, and rushed off down
stairs.
Where are you going? inquired Mrs.
Meikle who had sent for doctor.
" Going? l am going to my lawyer in
Glasgow to get divorce. I'll not stand
tricks like these " cried Josiah rs he an
med the door behind him.
At the station he got Herdh, where he
read
On the 2lst instant, suddenly, at L,
in the sixtieth year of his age, Mr. Josiah
Blend, much regretted"
"Much regretted! Mhm," muttered
the old man, sneeringy "a month or two
would have seen the two married Oh, 1
see it ALL see it all"
| When he arrived in town, as he was cross
| ing the streets on his way home, he met his
old friend Mr.. Maxton.
Dear me- is that you Josiah You
are advertised as dead in to-day's papers ?"
" Get out of my way, You old fool, re-
piled the reckless one, his temper in no de-
gree improved by the journey up to town.
SO saying, he tore along the street, leaving
Mr.. Maxton gazing after him in speechless
| amazement.
When he arrived at his house, the servant
who opened the door nearly jumped out of
her skin with fright; but Josiah pushed
past her, aud marched into the parlor.
where a few male and female friends were
assembled, presumably for the purpose of
condoling with the widow upon her ex-
pected return TO Glasgow. They received
Josiah at first in silent astonishment but,
Immediately afterward, with hearty cheer,
which was the first thing to make him
think an error had been made, and that
there was no intention to kill him with fear
The shaking of hands and the subsequent
explanations tended to cool down his wrath
and as the fever of excitement left him. he
| began to feel his weakness and physical
prostration returning, and ultimately was
compelled to accept the situation with the
best grace possible under the circum-
| stances.
When the telegram was shown to him. he
went to the postmaster to demand an ex-
PLANTATION, an apology, and compensation
for loss and damage
"Look here" said he. I" was bad with
a bilious attack and got my landady to
send this telegram: Your husband is bad
come down at once One of your operators
made it dead, and thereby caused a fright
full misunderstanding. l think you will ad-
init, said Josiah, with studied severity of
tone ct there is a very great difference be-
tween being bad and being dead?"
eyes; there is n great difference, cer-
tainly," replied the postmaster, pleasantly
"and Tn glad the mistake is not the other
way; for if you had been dead, instead of
being bad, would not have been favored
with this visit"
Josiah had not looked at the error in that
light; but not wanting to acknowledge the
postmasters urbanty too readily, lie re-
piled:
That's all very well but it does not
explain one of the most stupid b,mder
whipped"
II am exceedingly sorry the mistake has
been made; but, if you will bear with me a
moment, I'll explain. The difference be-
tween bad and dead is not very great in
the telegraph alphabet-it is altogether in
what is technically called spacing. Accord.
ing to the dot and dash system of tele-
graphy," continued the postmaster, who
took paper and pencil to illustrate it, :" the
word bad is thus written and spaced:
-. a - Il -.
the word dead:
d. c. a Il -.
being exactly the same number of beats
or dots and dashes and when telegraphed
thus;
-... - -. bad,