Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1882-07-21
HUMOROUS.

Little Miss Innocent (seated at
dinner, to pompous old cove): "Mr.
S., won't you drinkP" S.: "Yes, my
dear, certainly. But whyp" Miss l.:
Because mamma says you drink like
fish, and ] want to see how fishes drink"
i--Colunabia Spectator.
Here is good joke, original in its
way, from the provinces. Station
MASTER, to suspicious looking lady
(aged), who has just entered COM
partment: ''Are you first-class, ma am?"
Aged lady: "Yes, thank you; how are
you, sir?"--London Life.
"A hint is sometimes as good as a
long speech "Mr Foote," said gen.
tleman to that celebrated wit at din
ner party. "your handkerchief is hang
ing out Of your pocket" .. Thank you,'
was the mild reply, lyon undoubtedly
know the company better than | -
NJ Y. Herald.
:" Children" said la-da-dah Bos-
ton school examiner after hearing some
ESSAYS read, "children, you should nev-
Ell use proposition to end a sentence
within "Isn't with prepositionp"
asked the girl whose composition gave
rise to the correction. The la-da-dah
school examiner with-ered. Detroit
Free Press.
They were discussing religious
questions: Said Brown 1 tell you
that if the other animals do not exist
after death, neither does man? There
is no difference between man and a
beast" '.If anybody could convince
me of that it would be you, Brown" :"
replied Deacon Jones, demurely.-
Boston Transcript.
Together they sat in the parlor alone,
b. At the dusk of n Sabbath day,
Her shapely head close to his own,
In a tender loving way.
~ Ii 20 to lay my head, dear Will,
'Gainst yours" she murmured low,
In tones which made his pulses thrill,
And his face with rapture glow.
And Is 1t because you love me dover"
He asked; and then she coughed.
mo, dear VIII, not that, but love,
Because it's nice and soft!'
Revenge is sweet: Look here,
waiter, there is a fly in this SOUP" said
well-dressed, but disguised looking
stranger to waiter at an Austin res
taurant. The waiter looked at the fly
critically, and finally said: I'D give
five dollars to know for certain if that
fly is the one that has been nibbling at
my nose all the morning. ."-Te1as Sift-
ings.
An Austin Sunday-school teacher
was examining his class as to their Bib.
lical knowledge. Who was it that be-
trayed his masterp First boy-"Abra
ham betrayed his master. THAT:
not right. Next" Second boy-"I
was Judas Iscariot who betrayed his
MASTER" "That was right" A good
little boy looked reproachfully at the
teacher and said: Z" 1 am going to tell
my ma you say it was right for Judas to
betray his master. Tegas Sytings.
In the steam car the other day wa:
a bright little four-year-old lady. Al
elderly gentleman, few seats back
every time the little one turned around
would shake his finger, or duck his head
or " cluck," or do some one of the score
of things that are supposed to be espe
cially pleasing to babies. The little cir
answered these kindly attentions with {
vacant stare, until, apparently surfeiteC
and grown tired of them, she exclaimed
in voice loud enough to be heard hal
through the car: Mamma, really be
lieve that old fool is trying to make lov,
to me-" The old gentleman stopped a
once. -C0urier-JOurRak