Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-04-30
THE WEEK
As " Mother Goose" Experienced IL
Her Many Wonders Over the
HeeI-and-Toe Busfness.
The Drill of the Chicks, of the Broom
Guards, and OF the :" Red-and-
Whfteo Porter Guards.

Memphis is a go-ahead, wide-awake, sure.
enough live place, and after one has made q
| selection OF entertainments for ach day in
| the week, one is left famenting that he is
not ubiquitous in order to take in concerts,
I lectures and walking m matches simultaneously
AondGy.-Spentt the morning wrestling with
| a fashion plate and materials for a new dress
| builded a new dress in the sweat of my
brow and at the cost of a vast expenditure of
mental labor; completed doubtful success
! in time to moralize over the agonizing neces-
sity for trying to keep pace with the rapid
march of style; went TO the Fitts-Pierce
concert; saw plenty of handsome faces and
dresses in the dress circle; heard some very
sweet parlor music; regretted that amateur
performers should find it necessary to adopt
any stage tricks or mannerisms; wondered
where the young man behind my back, who
was entertaining his lady companions with
an account of some "fellows" who had aft
welP and how he "done" it himself had
gotten his schooling; came home and fell
asleep dreaming of tired little cherubs toting
a big wreath
Tuesday. - Knocked about generally,
Bought huge parasol and practiced the art
OF knocking of peoples hats or punching
them in the ribs to gauge their powers of
endurance; invested in balsam tolu with the
intention of acquiring the most recent ac-
complishments; failed ignominously. Con-
d
and never would be able to vie successfully
with the strong sex in the exquisite art of
"chawing."
Wednesdoy.-A lively day in every sense
but the natural one. Spent the morning in
a culver of expectation over the promised
delights of the afternoon. (This goose is so
recently imported from the rural districts
that it has not forgotten how to quiver.)
Afternoon came las it generally does.)
women, lovely dresses, lovely equipagesl
Memphis out en- nGsss, gay, brilliant, bus
tling, progressive! The scene on the bluffs
where the drilling was executed made a
glowing picture OF animated nature. The
sunset. flushing and gliding the Mississippi
as it flowed by with majestic, placid sweep,
looking so innocent of its late fierce raging;
the surging, bright-hued, restless throng;
the military companies the superb Chieka-
saws, proudly vindicating their well-earned
reputation for being the best drilled cem-
pany out OF the regular army, added 10
which the inspiring strains of the bands
made one feel, with Mr.. Guppy, that "there
are chords"
IhrTsday.-Went to Leubrie's again to see
the Broom Guards and Porters drill; sat in
front of the drop-curtain fer one full hour
beyond the time appointed for the perform
ance to begin; studied the "Sunset on the
Nile" picture by somebody long enough 10:
it to have merged into sunrise on the Nile;
studied the fra of the Nile, represented by
the aforesaid come body, until confidently as
sured of my ability to deliver botanical lee
lures on the subject; fell to noralizing on
professional and amateur virtues; came to
the conclusion that punctuality was not an
mateur virtue; did not know whether the |
Bayonets or the Brooms were responsible for |
it, but taking the sense of the crowd as |
gathered from audible comments, discovered |
that the Brooms were getting the credit for |
it, because women never could be drilled |
into promptness, you know" felt convinced |
of two facts, that no performers have the |
right to keep an audience waiting hours for |
the amusement they have paid for in ad- |
vance, and that such calm Indifference to |
the expressed (by heels and hands, impa-
tience of the crowd would not be tolerated in |
professionals; come to a third conclusion that |
Memphis has the most patiently amiable or |
amiably patient public extant; felt my |
good humor restored as soon as the Porters |
began their machine like evolutions; won-
dered if the buffand-red would ever be |
called on to make targets of themselves; |
hoped they would not in that conspicuously |
splendid uniform; found the Broom Guards |
even more charming than fancy had painted |
them; wondered if they could handle the |
broom normal as skillfully as they could the |
broom abnormal; listened to Mr. Hughes's |
funny talk with unfagging interest; being a |
woman indorsed him without reservation;
hoped his remarks to the other sex would |
fall upon receptive soil, spring up and bring |
forth good fruit.
Fiiddy.-Cautiously felt my way to dis
cover if ladies went to walking IN atches. |
Found that ladies went everywhere nova
days; went, determined to experience as
many sensations as the week offered; first /
impressions on neutrality-suspicious. build
ing big, snowy, dirty; could be made credit
10 the town; certainly is not as it stands;
upon the men whose capital lies in their
heels; thought at first they were doing
nothing more than l could have done my
self; anybody can walk; bestowed half
an hour on the study of muscle-its play
and its motion; was initiated into the
mysteries OF heel-and-toe and go-as-you-
please; heard the wondrous record of the
scores; learned that that careless, seeming
promenade around beaten sawdust track
had already mounted up to hundreds of
miles; changed my opinion on the spot
everybody cannot walk; found my respect
or the staying powers of the pedestrians in
;reasing rapidly my respect for their
brains diminished; could not but regret
hat such powers Of endurance, such
ution should not find exercise in some
higher walk of life; left the gal
cry for closer inspection; found
hat pedestrians have physiognomies as well
IS heels; thought discovered signs of suf-
ering and weariness in more than one of
heir faces; wondered if they would not hail
his coming Sunday as a blessed day of rest.
Satlrday-Rambled around in search of
experiences; found nothing but some mud
oles; always thought before that mud
ole were indigenous to the rural districts;
bought they looked out of place in a city Of
uch pretensions as Memphis; saw one dis
lay OF municipal energy upon which to
uild fond hopes for the future of those mud
oles-a whole csrt-load of empty bottles
umped into mudhole with twelve-cart
apacity wondered if that was to be the way
II the holes were to be filled up; wondered
it was if every man, woman and child in
lemphis wouldn't have to take to hard drink
a order 10 keep up the supply of empty
ottles; wondered if the municipality was
oing to offer premium TO the best bottle
mptier; wondered if it was any of my busi-
ess after all. MOTHER GOOSE