Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-12-30
II will ?"
VERY well. Now, then, l de
owe you a dollar.

owe you dollar.
'You do?"
NJ do. sir; but in case you
borrow S25 of me for week here
"I don't care whether you call
ing or lending, so long as | g,
money, repli i the creditor, an
made out a receipt IL full and too
money.
At the end of the week hswSS a.
TO return the loan, but laugh, ~
absurdity of the request. Suit wa.
to recover it, the mutual friend
witness. and the plaintiff received Iuus-
ment in his favor and had clean receipt
to show for the debt
HE MAY STAY.
A perfectly formed specimen OF the
tramp Yesterday called into a top floor
office in Detroit, and on being asked his
business he replied:
Gould you spare half dollar to man
who wants to reach Buffalo,
"No, sir.
"Could YOU spare quarter!
''Not unless he earned it.
"Could he earn it?"
eyes, sir. There's ton OF coal at the
curDStOue WHICH hdlu pAO"OH" ~
here"
"A whole ton"
That's what paid for. )"
"And four stairs high q
eyes, this is the fourth story.
The man sighed heavily and was going
away when the gentleman called out:
"Well, what do you say
II can't promise, sir. III walk around
the block and consult my fe, lngs as to how
bad want to reach Buffalo. The more
/ look at the coal the more l think De
troit the incest place in the world to win
ter in. Free Press.
ALLsPICE.
THE operators in mythical mines are
always willing to let you in; but there IS
quite difference between letting you III
and letting You win.-BoSton Tran
script.
THE use of iron cannot increase the
running qualities Of a dog, but tim can-
-ROcki0nd Courier Gazette.
THE Post Office Department exhibits
CLEAN of common sense IN tackllng
names of post-offices. There should not
be two of the same name in America,
and neither should the town have one
name and the post-office another. There
ought to be names enough to go round
without doubling on Columbus, Jeffer-
son, jackson and Jones.
THE same law which says that a note
of hand made on Sunday is not legal
saws that marriage contracted on that
day is all o. K. in the eyes of the law.
STORY" said an American friend who
was watching the great American artist
at work in his studio at Rome. Il wish
to ask you a question. In Heavens
name tell me what induced You to give
up the glorious profession of the bar to
come to Rome and pinch mud IL"
TEACHER why, how stupid You are,
to be sure Can't multiply eighty-eight
bv twenty-five? I'll wager that Charles
can do il in less than no time" Pupil:
II shouldn't be surprised. They say
that fools multiply very rapidly now-a-
days"
81 HEARS smart men say dat time Is diff
ferent at different places, said Uncle
Nose. Il believe dat's a fact, fur de
time alters feels longer to de boy who
holds de hoss den ter de man who goes
inter de whisky shop"
ONE cannot but view with alarm the
reported growth of sponge culture IN
Florida for any one who has suffered
from the experience knows that the
cultured sponge" is the very worst of
the whole species.
"WHAr impudence r' exclaimed Mrs.
Shoddy Here is a man applying by
letter for a situation as coachman, who
signs himself Your obedient servant,
and Ihave not even thoughtof hiring him
vet. Philadelphia NetCs.
THE London Lancet says that the peo-
pie who sneeze oftenest are the healthi-
est. A sneeze sets the blood circulating
and throws of a cold which is trying to
settle. This medical opinion is evidently
made in the interest of snuff, and the
public is not yet up to 1t.
LIME-KnN Club Philosophy-'What
we have let as be thankful fur. What
we haven't got let us hope would render
us miserable if we had it.
RAILWAY SIGNALs-Signal extortion.
signal neglect and signal impudence.-
The Judge.