davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-06-25
sarS;a parilllaa lsescIvent.
A GRATEF I'll RECOGNITION.
FALSE AND TRUE,

Ye extract from r. Radway's "Treatsc on Die
saze and fsCure, az follows:
Last OF DISEASES CURED RY
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-06-25
DIR. THEODORE W. FISHER.

superintendent of the Boston Lunatic hos
pital, and for many years previous en-
ployed by the city to examine all its insane
to be committed to state or city hospitals,
and who has examined thousands of insane
persons, possibly more than any other
physician in the country, writes thus:
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04

"They are making lots of fuss over the fact tha
the Jeanette survivors were compelled to live OH
walrus hide for three weeks" said DfenderfeI
down at the club the other night; ',Just as though
that was anything so terrible Now, IL they had
gone through the hardships that have they
might talk"
Cooks been burning your buokwheats, sun.
pose2 2" said Boggs with a satirical wink.
"Oh, I'm In earnest" said Difenderfer "For
instance, was lost on Michigan prairie once, and
for three days lived on q single field-mouse
caught"
THAT'S nothing" said another member, con.
temptuously.
Amt, ell? Another time was shipwrecked in
the South Seas. Floated around on rait sixteen
days with nothing to eat but pair OF old bootegs
among ten OF u.s.
Good soft calfskin isn't so bad" critically OBJ.
served skidmore, who claimed to have been pi.
rate, or something, in early life.
"Ihen, on another OCCASION" said Difenderfer,
bracing up again, after awhile, IL was locked by
mistake in q bank vault and had TO subsist over
Sunday on Government bonds and coupons"
Lots of men doing that now," said old Bolts
~ escaped from the rebs during the war, at New
Orleans" said the narrator, growing paler and
hid IN swamp, and lived exclusively on the cast.
of skin of an alligator"
You should have boiled II, said Gucy, calmly.
THAT'S the way used TO do in Africa
There was a silence that could be cut with
knife after that for some time, when, Just as the
enlistment Of the story teller, pIsndeTfer took tho
bit IN his teeth, and made one moro desperate brush
for the lead.
were hardships indeed, but nothing, absolutely
nothing, compared TO an experience | once en-
dured In this city about three years ago Through
an unfortunate combination of circumstances |
was compelled 10 eat three hotel steaks in one
week r And with awe.struok faces the sympa
thiZing crowd arose and awarded the survivor the
OtfiCial cake,-lDcrtick DOdd
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
A WEIRD INDIAN STORY.

F. II. Cushing, of the chronological Bureau
Of the Smithsonian Institute at Washington,
was in Kansas City, No.. recently, accom-.
panied by six chiefs Of the agricultural and
pastoral tribe Of Pueblo Indians, located in West.
ern New Mexico, about thirty-fye miles south OF
the Atlantic and Pacific Railroad, and known as
the Zuns. He is en- route to Washington and
Boston by way of Chicago. The object Of the trip
is to enable the Zunis, who have a civilization
similar to the ancient Taltic and Aztec peoples,
70 perform religious ceremony which can only
be performed at the ocean. The ceremony in rs
minutest details. has been handed down from the
past by traditions but so old is 1t that not even
their traditions say when 1t was last performed ii
is an interesting scientific, problem, therefore,
when these people were on the shore OF the ocean
and at what point. The ceremony will probably
be performed at Plymouth Rock. Mr.. Gushing has
been adopted into the tribe by the highest re :
ligious order and will take part in this cere-
mony The Zunis are an agricultural people and
have reached the highest success in that Industry
as well as In horticulture, and have large herds
and aocks. one Of the objects of this tribe is TO
secure an enlargement of their grazing ranges.
Mr.. Cushing has discovered a rich and fruitful
field for ethnologsts and scientists In the East are
waiting for the result of his trip with great in
terest,
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
THE GREEN HooSIER.

To the Editor Of THE REPUBLICAN:
As the Green Hoosier" seems to be the subject
Of SO many stale quasi jokes, as a Hoosier desire
to make few remarks about real Hoosiers and
some of the things they do and do notdo. In the
first place will say that Indiana has the largest
school fund of any State in the Union her col
leges and universities equal to those of almost
every other State, and her scientists and states.
men are and have always been the peers of those
OF any other State. oliver p. Morton was born in
Indiana, and his name will be known as a great
and pure name so long as there are people to read
our history. There are only two counties in In.
diana that have no railroads.
THE FARMERS OF INDIANA
ride in better looking vehicles than dog carts
while blowing their ground or cutting their hay
and grain, and do not pillow with the same kind of
pillow that was used by " the father of our couu-
try the kind that may be seen In use in sight of
Washington in blowing time any day. And among
those farmers VIII be found musical instrument
(piano or organ) as frequently as will be found
suchluxuries in this city There are some very green
people in Indiana, but investigation viii show that
they went there from the East or South in nine
cases out of ten. In our cities gentleman who
gives his seat in horse.car to lady
IS NOT LOOKED AT AS A CURIOSITY,
and neither gentleman nor lady there has the
confirmed habit of stopping a heavily loaded car
III such places as the one opposite the Treasury
while the same Is going uphill Aud there arc
plenty, ofpeople in Indiana Just a shade sharper
than the bunko fellows of this city Any six. year
old Indianian knows what Sorghum" Is, but
grocerymen here never heard oft. These grocery
men also advertise "new maple molasses In
October. With the kindliest feelings for Wash.
ington and her people, and taking all the Jokes
good humoredly,I beg to say that / have seen
more old Troglodites in six months here than /
ever saw IN whole lifetime in Indiana; and
that believe that, BY little brushing around
some "derned old fool can be found who does
not hail from Indiana. Shake up the fossils
though, wherever you find them. and Indianians
VIII bear their own part OF the appropriation. but
they protest against imporations. HoOsIER
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
BRACING UP A BELLE,
The Course Of Grooming and Diet Neces-
sary 10 n Lady in Warrington Society.

The institution of Lent brings rest for the weary
swollen feet which last week danced day and
night from Monday to Saturday. " How does your
daughter stand it," asked of mother whom l
met at the Bachelors german last Friday night,
she answered by telling me that the same woman
who took charge Of her daughter when an infant
still had the care of her. and always waited until
her young mistress returned from ball then she
undrcssed her gave her sponge bath, rubbed her
wei, and, after administering cup of hot beef
tea, tucked her in bed, and left her to sleep until
MONDAY or longer If she was so inclined. As
soon as the young lady awoke she was fed with
beer tea or some food equally nourishing; in short
she was treated exactlyas she would be If seriously
III, ana In that way she kept fresh for the afler-
noon dancing receptions and the germans at night
and rest when she was tired, so she could continue
TO participate in the gayeties while the dancing
season lasted. Tuesday night this young lady
danced until two O'Clock at the german given by
the tuesday Club; Wednesday night she danced
at the german given by Miss Dora the daughter of
Senator Miller, which lasted until four a. m /;
Thursday afternoon Mrs Miller had dancing at
divided between the ball given by Commodore
and Mrs English and the charity ball. which kept
up until four o'clock Friday afternoon she danced
az Mrs CARROTS, and In the evening at the german
hrst mentioned; Saturday afternoon she danced
atthereception given by the Misses Fox, and rested
sunday SO as to be ready for the german given to-
night by Mrs. White, daughter of Senator Sawyer,
day afternoon Judge and Mrs. Macarthur give a
reception from three to six p. m, and there are
dozen things for TIE evening" Washington Core
spORdeRce Of ne Courier Journal.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04

Jehiel Jasper stroled into the grocery store and
post office of one of our back. country villages
Saturday, and after standing around with his back
to the fire until he was permeated with colorlc
said:
well, guess I'll read the news and get along
toward home Square Perkinses papers come
yetg' and he stepped behind the post-oiiice boxes
as was his custom, to take 1t out and read it..
"Can't let you see 1t, Jehiel," said the postmas-
ter, Government has issued orders that any post
master who allows non. subscriber to read sub.
scribeTs paper Will lose his position"
mo! You don't tell me9 Well If that amt O
great idee2 It's put up job-a gol darned con-
spiracy between these ere newspapers and the
Goy'ment TO keep the multitude in ignorance, So
that they can domineer 1t over the community
And they talk about this ere bein q free country
It's drifting right into despotsm jes as fast as Ii
can. How in thunder's Il man to know what's
goin' on II he don't read, an now the Govern
ments settin down on all ideas OF dedication an
tOkin' away that privilege.
ION, not so bad as that, Jehiel" said the post.
master, 1.-The government doesn't say anything
you know"
"Subscribln' for III What dye take me for
Dye suppose that I'm goin' to subscribe for paper
mat I've read fourteen years right here by The
stove without eoslin' me a cent? No. sir. amt
a'goin to help 'em to Cypress me by keepin' me In
Ignorance. No, Stree" And having got q supply
OF cheap plug tobacco put on the slate he
NetU Hdten REGISTER.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
a JacEnas Thnt WouIdn,t scnre.

A YagFant ass stood beside the track Of the sun
set Railway at the depota few mornings ago. An
engine moved slowly up 1t stopped within few
feet Of the ass. The engineer blew one OF those
terrible screams, prolonged aud piercing
such blast as makes a sleeping Millerite dream
oftho day ofJudgment, Did the ass scare Not
worth cent. Did heshake the sloth from his limbs,
erect his tail and speed away like the asses OF BIAS.
to the ehapparal? No, he didn't. He turned one ear
toward the engine, Just as deaf man uses his tin
sound. And when the steam blown whistle
ceased lie notes and all the echoes died away the
animal Strengthened out his neck, opened his
mouth, and, In a voice that deafened ali the rail-
road men and caused the freight clerk TO drop his
pen, roared: 81 can't l can't 1 can't be beat
be beat be beat l can't DO DO. be- be. beat ~
San AniOniO Lighk
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
Herolnes or Mowell.' Novels.

In the Century Mdgdsine for March Mr. Il. S. Perry
talks Interestingly of Mr., Howels' heroine He
says: women have no cause TO be indignant
with Mr.. Howells' kind comprehension Of them.
What he feels for them Is not the EMULATION Of a
man who has found them out or the pity of a SUI
perlor being for attractive interiors but the sym.
pathy ola man who understands them; and what
we are all hungry for is not SO much thatwe may
be loved as that we may be understood Possibly,
at times, we are over hasty in assuming that II we
were understood we should be loved. There can
BIO no dark doubt of this kind, however, IN thu
case Of Mr.. Howells' girlish heroines Take them
In succession and see their naturalness and con.
sequent charm. The heroine of A Chance AG-
quaintance is not the same person as Lydia, the
heroine Of The Lady OF the Aroostook or that Of
DR., Breen's Practlce yet they are alike in their
fearlessness before Others and timdlty be.
fore themselves, in their gracious Innocence
aud generosity. No one has drawn such
uncontamnated souls more delicately than
drawn them more exactly In tho great s wb Si
of life they would have but little show by the side
Of intenser people more praoticed plolters ana
the victims of iiercer emotions; their kingdom so
to speak, is just out of the busy world, In some
quiet corner whence fancy and poetry are NOT
banlshed. Fond as Ar Howells is Of these indie
pendent girls with their romance awaiting them
he has also written about another sort Of heroine
the full-bown coquette, the mature hirt and hB
has made most thorough study of her antics
monty but one trick although, 10 be sure, this is
generally irresistible, OF said 10 be irresistible; he
has shown US accomplished experts In the gay
science who are not simply arch, or misCheyous
or appealing, but much more for at times they are
frank, The art with which he draws his coqiiettes
y most admirable, because here, as everywhere,
Mr.. Howells describes what no secs, and bis eyes
deorepit New England village in the briof season
when 'boarders' assemble, but also the psrturb.
ing hlrl, inc unworthy cause OF Tragedies, who ia
before us"
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
A NEW ENTERPRISE,
An Invention for the speedy Removal of
Molhera-in.InW.

MOlhsrs.insBRw.
"Mr Dihcnderfer," said a serious looking man
with long hair, calling at tho former we'll known
citizens mansion, on Van Ness avenue, the other
day, IL wish 10 see you on aconfdentlal mater OF
the creates, importance. weare alone, believe %
ave are, believe" said Mr.. Dinendcrfer much
mystited by the movements of the caller, who
looked cautiously into the book case and behind
the piano and concluded by dropping the cat out.
side the door
In the frst place then" said the long haired
man, taking a scat and producing a square leather
box from his coat tail pocket allow me to ask II
] am correctly informed that your mother.in.law
Sc residing with YOU
such is the case" responded Mr.. Difenderfer
VERY WE'LL said the stranger, unstrapping the
box; " / now desire to call your confidential at.
tention-conhdcnual attention, mind you-to
little invention just gotten out by our company,
the A. I. Company of Hartford, Conn.," and he
displayed an object that represented gigantic
glass marble,
Whats, thatg,. asked Dificnderfer Some new
"A pll That's the genuine Russian glass bomb"
asserted the agent.
= Look ont there! Policew and M Diffen-
derfer turned a handspring over the back Of the
Don't be alarmed my dear sir" blandly ex.
planned the stranger. " It isn't loaded. It's only
sample; You see, the nitro. glycerne cartridge is
not added until the fourth day"
What the blazes do you meGn?'
ALLOW me TO explain You see our company
the Accident Insuring-notice the ing, please
Company of Hartiord-no connection with Mark
Twain's INSURANCE concern-manufaCtures these
articles Of the very best materials under the super
On strictly honorable and confidential basis to
1amiiies, where-ahem-where they are most
needed, as curiosities."
"Curiosites?"
Exactly The system Is this Some assumed
friend IN Russia sends you by express a supposed
diminished glass bomb as curiosity. You exhibit
around, let II drop on the floor, give it to the
baby TO play with, &c. On the fourth day you
take the entire family TO a picnic, with the ex-
eeption ofyour mother in law, rich grandfather,
or whoever II is that is-well, suppose we say
superfuous in the domestic circle. Before leaving
you slip the prepared cartridge into this aperture
wren you return the dream of your life is accom-
pltshed It's a little rough ON the mirrors and
things, but what's that, after ul?'
And receiving from Mr.. Dilenderfer an assur-
nnee that he would think over the matter care.
inlly, the agent warmly shook that estimable gen.
ueman's hand, wnked in an eloquent aud sig
nihcant manner, pocketed his box peeped cauti-
ousy into the hall, and walked out,-DcrricE Dodd
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
Old IaoIu's Joke.

The other day show came to Little Rock and
was shamefully imposed upon by old Isom. While
standing near the tent he saw n crowd of "low
spirited" boys, grleying account of financial de.
preston.
"Docs yer youngsters want ter go inter de exhl.
bition ?" he asked.
The boys responded in noisy chorus.
"Well, come on, den ! ulster be chile myself an
unlike de mos oh men, hain't forgot hit Count
desc boys" he added, addressing the doorkeeper.
The man began counting, and by the time the
boys had passed in lsom was ling around talk
ing to acquaintance from the plantations.
Here" said the Snowman, give me twenty
tickets"
What fur? Does yer think me lottery agentY"
you passed in twenty boys, and | want the
tickets or the money"
81 doan owe yer no tickets, an l doan owe yer no
money"
you're an old liar"
Look heah, mister yer'd better canvass this
subject fore yer filings out SIGH invitation Iddnt
tell yer ter pass de boys in, said count 'em Use
always heard dat showmen is good in rithmetic
an wanted TO satstymyself Yer say dat dar was
twenty boys doan spute yer word case amt
no mathetiCan. S'posen take IA lot OBJ BOYS ter
de cashier oh bank an axes him ter count EN- :
does dat signify dat de cashier gwne ter pass en-
inter dc money! room? No, sab! Go on back ter
yer tent, for sees n regiment goin i'm
The Snowman, remembering that he Mad left the
entrance unguarded, turned, when Isom ran away
with an agility rarely exhibited in an old man.
IiIUT Rock
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
Anecdote OF CeperaI wad,woru

After the death of General James s, wadsworth
Paymaster W. b, Rochester, recently appointed to
be Paymaster-General related the following anec-
dote of the deceased hero: 81 always paid him
from his entry into the service" said the Pay
master, " and when the General called on me for
money previous to his starting to the Mississippi
Valley, ON special mission connected with the
arming and organization of the slaves Of that re-
gion, I casually remarked TO him that when he
got to New Orleans he would find there Major
VeddeT, to whom / would recommend him as a
gentlemanly officer TO apply for any moneys he
might need No, SIR said General Wadsworth ,
l shall not apply TO Major Vedder. While / am
in the service shall be paid only by you and my
reason for that Is that wish my account with the
for II Is my purpose at the close of the war to call
on you for an accurate statement of all money
have received from the United States. The
amount, whatever Il IS, ! shall give TO some per-
manent inslit ulion founded for the relief of dis
abled soldiers, This is the least inyidious way
in which can refuse pay for fighting for my coun-
try in the hour of danger"
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04

During the winter of lbis Titan went To Augs-
burg, where Charles " again required his SER
vices the Emperor had become very fond Of the
artist, and treated him with the greatest respect
and consideration, While on this visit IL happened
one day that Titan dropped his pencil, and the
Emperor picked itup and returned It to him 4;
court etiquette forbade that the sovereign should
DO such a service for any one, aud Titan was
much embarrassed. Charles seeing this, said
"Iiuan is worthy TO be served by Cesar"
C"CRsar" was one of the titles of the Emperor)
AT Augsburg the painter was madea count, and
received yearly pension Of two hundred gold
ducats.
Some writers have said that Titan visited
Spain. This does not now appear to be true but it
is certain that Charles V. continued through life
his favors to him, and when the Emperor resigned
hiscrown and went to live in the monastery of
Yuste he took with him nine pictures by Titan
One ofthese was portrait of the Empress Isabella
upon which Charles gazed when on his death
bed II is now In the Museum of Madrid After
Charles mad given up his crown to his son
Philip ii ., the new monarch patronized the artist
as his father had done, and many fine works by
the master are now In Madrid.
Although Titan had enjoyed much prosperity
he had also suffered much his wife and his dear
sister Orsa had died; his son Pomponio had been
worthless fellow, and had made his father very
unhappy his daughter Lavinia had married and
the old artist was left alone with Orazlo, who,
however, was dutiful SON But Titan had then
iNnNhSN ohNh OF MS
middle life had died, and he was a lonely old
man.
He had painted many pictures of Lavinia, who
was very beautiful; one of these, at Berlin, shows
her in rich dress, holding up plate Of fruit and
IL Is ono of the best of all his works
Orazio was an artist, but he usually painted on
the same canvas with his father, and his works
cannot be spoken of separately. Many pupils
from all parts of Europe gathered about Titan in
his latest years, and II is said that toward the
close of his life, when he was at work upon an
Annunciation," some one told him that 1t did
not resemble his former works. This made him
the painting, TIsidHUs fccn Jech," by which he
meant to say, "Titian truly did this."-ETOm Mrs
Clements Stories Of Art and Artists" in March S.
Nicholas.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04

The big hat was at the Arch on Saturday, writes
"a Constant Reader" to the philadelphia Times.
1t was magnificent affair Around the rim could
be seen the most delightful mass of spt-curls and
frizzes which human eyes ever beheld. Itentered
seat Immediately before me, leaving me in total
ignorance of all but its own overawing presence.
As my imagination is not SO powerful as to con-
lecture the events transporting on the stage took
a seat on tho back railing Il occupied Il seat on
the back row of the first gallery, no one behind
me, when was informed by the polite usher that
called his attention to the hat its owner being in
visible and requested him to tell the wearer, as
politely as he had told me- TO remove 1t, in order
that that would be nice thing to tell lady" |
then requested him TO refund my money, when he
do so foolish thing that IL was out of the nues.
tion." So l was compelled to stand during the
entire play or create u disturbance if l claimed
what was Justly duo me.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-04
PoKER-LovING PRINCESS,
s"hie Winnemuccn and Her Last Illus.
band $50 Broke"

correspondent of the Reno Gazette, in n column
and half letter, tells how Her Royal Highness
the Princess Sarah Winnemucca and her latest
catch in the matrimonial drag-net visited Pyra.
mid Lake Reservation recently. The new hus-
band, to break the motonony of reservation life
engaged In game of poker with some of the dus,y
lnhaDitants OF that Government reserve and prob
ABLY the indian agent took q hand, though the
Gortespondent does not say So However
that may be, the new husband lost $3.50, and get.
ting discouraged gave his place TO the Princess
she played until she lost IS, upon which he ex-
claimed You can't play poker worth a d-nI''
Wnlch ungentlemanly remark insuted the
Princess, and she asked him whose money she was
playing. Before he could reply she wanted to know
Inc mad forgotten the circumstance of his gam
ping oil 5000 OF hers in San Francisco within an
hour and half. He acknowledged the same but
grew SO angry at being accused of it in n crowd
Ihat ne vowed he would live with her no longer
dead, and when she was brought to life Mr. Hon.
kins and his royal spouse kissed and made up