The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-08-27
WIT AND HUM0R,

The Mississippi negro will sell his
shirt for first watermelon.
An Idaho man followed bear into
cave and forgot to come out.
This is a big country, but the trouble
with the house-hy is that he doesn't
take to the back counties.
The Hungarian vineyards have been
badly nipped, and American tourists
viii do well to take a jugof cider along
\ party who bad just paid a big
Doctors bill says he would like TO see
high heals 20 out Of fashion.
A bitter disappointment: Very
sorry, sir said the bartender, but
were out Of tansy.'
II take, 2l,0OO, 600 barrel, Of kerosene
to light the world with. The other
barrel is to hurry up the fire with.
A Philadelphia advised his son to
aim high in life, and the lad went out
and shot q COW. Beef was about the
highest thing he could find to aim at.
'San Franci,cois clamoring for brass
bands in churches Extreme measures
must be taken to keep San Francisco
people awake, evidently.
why do good children 90 to heaven
when they die?' asked the teacher.
because it's unsafe TO trust children in
place where there's a fire
4 Detroit boy conquered the measles
in twenty hours, and the mumpS only
brought him off the fence for half a
day.
Old Simon Cameron says he was born
when the art Of printing was in It's IN
fancy: as that art is about 400 years
old, il would be interesting TO know the
extent Of his antiquity
The elevation of Mr.. Bass. the Eng
lsh brewer, TO baronetcy, recalls
Theodore Hood witticism-that people
may brew and be somebody, but if
they baked it was all up with them.
The author of the song, "Sec That
Nv Grave Is Kept Green is in Jail
in indianapolis, He is now engaged
on a companion piece, entitled: "See
That My Cell Is Kept Whitcwashed. y
"At what age were You married."
asked she inQuisitivcly. But the other
woman was equal 10 the emergency,
and quietly responded, AT the parson-
age
Yes. Eve got horrd cold said
Mrs. Jcnkinson, I've doSed and do-ed,
and believe I've taken no less than
.hirty-nine articles and begin to feel
like an EpiscUpalian.'
A little boy, whose parents are always
moving from one house to another was
asked by the Sunday school teacher,
"Why did the lsraelites move out OF
Egypt?" Because they couldn't pay
their rent was the reply,
In spite of the growing demand for
them By the plumbers and negro min
strels, the price of diamonds is not likely
TO advance greatly, for there were S22,-
Colony last year
II is believed that if Alexander Selkirll
could have spent one hour in II railway
waning-room he would have gone back
to his desert island by the first train. to
find it by contrast II place of excitement
and u wilderness of delight.
Two nowsboys in Canada, conversing
on the difference between English and
American time said; If You had q
brother in England and he died at II
You would get the newsin Montreal four
hours before he died y
Bronson Alcott, 50 years of age, has
Just published a book Of poems, all of
which were written within the last six
months. Eighty-three we should say
to our young friends, is the proper age
to begin writing poetry.
She why is it that when we were
lovers You always got me a box at the
theater and covered the front with
boouets but now you buy seats in the
dress circlegn He AT that time your
father paid for your bonnets.'
II have been grossly nsulted," ex-
claimed Brown. "rhat scoundrel Smith
called me n liarn How unfortunate
remarked Fogg "You couldn't deny
theaccusation without endorsing t,could
your
A boot.black. smoking a "butt' which
he had just picked up, is accosted by a
comrade with: "Say, what brand OF
cigar is that?" Robinson Crusoe. y
"Why dyer call it thatp' Because it's
n CastaWay.N