davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
Chat 9efsmes Of the Old Meni,

everybody Knows the. tendency that
cerIsA articles have to disappear. 1t
n:s oeen repeatedly asserted in coun-
lries Whsre -theyquse donkeys that no
cne ever sees a defunct ass. Again, that
.amoas query, putiby q lady during an
aWfad pause" at her owntable,; "What
becomes ofiail the pins?'sn struck home
70 esery feminine mind, offering bound
iess Heids of conjectuEe iT Mysterious,
however, as the haltimate fate Of pins
undoubtedly is, It. may be urged that
IheH'Nery smallness favors their disap-
Pearance, hut tMStcan not be pleaded
about old men, and sthe question we
ralse day fs, Whit becomes in this
city OF the old or. elderly menp Old wo-
men we see in nam bers, but not old men.
VI course, we know that in bank par
iors, trust companies offices, and among
the learned professions a certain number
OF elderly gentlemen may be found, but
we are speaking now of the many. Take,
!or example, walters. How many gray
headed walters does any restaurant fire.
quenter recall in this city? In the street
cars there are about half dozen con-
ductors, ,well-known to every one because
they are white-bearded, and hence so
rare, while the drivers are always men
under fifty, apparently-seldom, indeed,
as much as forty. Walk about the
streets, notice the men employed by the
great express companies; you will find
them young. The laborers, the long
shoremen, the men employed at the
ferries, are also mostly young. Go into
stores; nine out of ten of the salesmen
are young. The hotel clerks are young,
and so for the most part are the bar
keepers. Doctors say that these latter
seldom get beyond fifty. Constant nip
ping undermines their health; and hotel
men, too, as q class, do not live long,
though thHe are notable exceptions.
This absence of elderly men is to a
stranger a notable feature of New York,
and it would be interesting to know its
cause. Is it that the conditions of life
here are exceptionally exhausting, and
that, except in the comparatively rare
cases where circumstances or constitu-
ton are especially favorable, only low
average of age is attained? or Is it that
hundreds of men emigrate hence after a
few years to settle in other parts of the
country, returning, perhaps, at forty to
places from whence they came at TWEEN
ty? 1t is notorious that Parisians are for
the most part not born in Paris, and
probably but limited number of people
in this city to-day were born in it. The
infant mortality is, we know, enormous,
but how about the mortality between
forty and fifty? 1t would be interesting
to learnif that be abnormally large as
compared with other places; and if so,
what is the prevailing cause of death
Very instructive tables were published
in England some years ago showing the
average of life among different voca.
tions. 1t is believed by many that
brokers and others in business life live
here, as there, a much shorter time than
professional men. Thoroughly trust
worthy data on this point would be re-
ceived with great interest.-N. Y. Times
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

.RoUaH on SAM.-Sam Rideout is an Austin
clerk. He is personally not very attractive,
and his morals ar. Of very inferior quality.
One of Sans peculiarities is to use mercan-
tile terms and expressions, no matter what
subject is being discussed. He and lew
friends were talking about clergymen and
doctors the other day, and one Of them asked
Sam who his family doctor was 81 DR..
Doesem supplies US with all we need in the
physical department, and Parson Soothem
furnishes us full line of piety goods, said
Sam Look here, Sam,", remarked Gil
hooly, "if DR.. Doesem is responsible for your
looks, and Parson Soothem furnishes you
with your morals, all I've got to say is, that
they have showed lot of secondhand goods
off on you, and they badly damaged besides.
You ought, to deal, from now on, with first
class houses. You have been swindled out
rageously. To look atyou one would suppose
your good looks and manners were of home
manufacture Texas Siftings.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
A Turkish Fast.

Before closing this chapter of Turkish
gossip, can not refrain from giving 81
young Moslem officials account of his
infraction of the great fast. "The day
was very sultry," said he. "I had been
at work and was dying with thirst. /
resolved to myself that I would slip
out and sneak into some watershop in
some out-of-the-way corner and get a
glass of water, fast or no fast. The
water was there in crystal and ice; my
tongue was bursting. was just going
into the shop when a man crossed the
street and stood in front of me. knew
he was detective, and so went away.
I hunted up another watershop in an
out-of-the-way place, and 10, another
detective appeared. hurried past ard
q third time found watershop, ard
again it was watched by spy. Then I
said to myself: 'Here we have gor.
ernmenti that takes revenue from greg
shops and gambling houses. And this
government sets itself up to enforce
pious observances. Itputs its spies by
the watershop lest some poor wretch
may drink in fast-time. A fig for such
piety. I was going to have five paras'
worth of sin. If this is what piety
means / will go to Pera this minute and
get hundred paras' worth of sin in the
Shape of ice-cream.' went. l sat in
the darkest corner of great hall and
had my iee-cream. had just finished
about half of itWhen I saw peering in at
the window man with his rosary in his
hand, andI recognized him as one of
those nieddliHg pious people who go
about as work of religious duty to find
erring Moslems and warn them of the
conssqiiences of breaking the fast. !
cranfnted the other half of the ice-cream
into rny mouth at once and bolted out of
a side door. If you have never had
your mouth stuffed with ice-cream so
stiff that esyou can't open your jaws,
YOU can have no conception of what l
Suffered. Bur ]. had my revenge on this
government for making money out of
Vice and then putting guards over the
waterIiuss al broke my fast in spite of
them. and nobody found it out. ."-Con-
stantinople Letter.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
A Medical Curiosity.


Jean Condoist has been brought to
Paris as a medical curiosity from the
Haute Caone. According to a medical
contributor to 8 Partisan contemporary,
this youth, aged nineteen, took a start
on the 18th of May, 1881, being six feet
three inches high, and found one morn
ing that he had grown an inch. Every
week since then has he registered him.
self. and on the 14th of September this
human Sbeanstalk had grown nearly five
inches; he grew five inches more before
the Goth of January, 1882, and seven
more. before March Is, and he now
stands seven feet ten inches. All this
has been accompanied by great pains in
the back, and he stoops considerably ;
but since last June it is his legs only
that have grown, and his feet are al
ready twenty-four inches long. .ss
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
When a young man kisses his cir

When young man kisses his girl
goodnight about l 80 a. M, he may
have nearly mile to walk before reach
ing his home, and he envies his girl,
who, he supposes, jumps into bed and
is fast asleep ten minutes after he leaves
the house. He doesn't know that she
must first fish seventy-nine hair-pins out
of her head, one at a time, and twist
her hair up into bits of paper so that it
will crimp nicely next day, and that he
is in bed snoring. before she turns off
the gas. If he was aware of this fact,
perhaps he would leave earlier.-IHe
Judle. -
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

Help yourself and others will help
you'' But don't fail to use K dneyWoit for
all liver, kidney apd bowel complaints. piles,
cCstveness, etc. The demand of the people
Wort has induced the proprietors, the we'll
known wholesale druggists, Wells, Richardson
s. CO., of Burlington, Vt, to prepare it for
sale in liquid form as well as in dry form.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
All the funny things in the admins

All the funny things in the admins.
tration of police-court justice-it is
commonly termed ''justice''-do not
happen in Detroit. A few days ago in
Toronto the magistrate asked of a pris-
oner: "Were you on the drunk, yester-
day?" ''No, sir,'' replied the prisoner,
81 was on the horse-car." The reply
cleared him. In another case the wrong
prisoner was led from the bull-pen. ''I
have discharged another man for your
crime," said the justice, $50 now I'll
have to discharge you for his" Exeunt
omnes.-Chicago Herald.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

-aPa, what is a pessimist, and what
is an optimist?'' ga pessimist, my son,
is one who takes the surplus kittens,
lust after they are. born, and chloroforms
them. The optimist is one who lets the
kittens grow up, to live a wretched,
starving life; to be tortured continually
by bows and other thoughtless animals,
and to be finally killed with brick bats
and. left to rot or the streets. .'-Ex.
change.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
PeFSonaIl
THEVoIrAIc BELT Co. . Nj

The VoLTAIc BELT Co., Marshall Mich, win
send DR.. Dyes Celebrated Electro Voltaic
Belts and Electric Appliances on trial for
thirty days to men (young or old) who are af-
fiicted with nervous debility, lost vitality and
kindred troubles guaranteeing speedy and
complete restoration of health and manly vigor.
Address as above. n. B.-No risk is incurred
as thirty days trial is allowed
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

a cheerful face, says the German
town Telegraph, is nearly as good for
an invalid as healthy weather. To make
sick man think he is diving, all that is
necessary is to look half dead yourself.
Hope and despair are as catching as
cutaneous complaints, Always look
sunshiny, therefore, whether you feel SO
OF not
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
Does Your Head Ache2

No matter mhat the cause, SICK, Nervoaas
Neuralgic, Dyspeptic. Which is its A rev.
olution in the treatment of nervous diseases
is now taking place. DR.. c. w. Benson has
discovered sure remedy in his Celery and
Chamomile Pills-they permanently cure sick
and nervous headache, neuralgia, dyspepsia,
sleeplessness and all nervous diseases. Sold
by druggists. so cents a box. Address,
Baltimore, Md. By mail, two boxes for 81, or
six boxes for 50. So
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

The skies were never dark enough
nor starless enough, the storm was nev-
er fierce enough nor wild enough, the
quick bolts of heaven were never lurid
enough, and the arrows of SANDER never
few thick enough to drive a noble
woman from her husbands side.-Bob
Iz0ersOW
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

Mr. GEORGE G. CoLEMtN. of Seymour, Ind,
writes: ST have KEEP. Dr Guysott's' Yellow
Dock and Sa:saparilia in my family for years.
My wife thinks there is no such medicine as
it is think it excellent" for weakness and
indigestion. We also use it for coughs and
colds and it does not fail u.s." t...-..
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
..ARE you not alarmed at your

''ARE you not ALARMED at your children
playing on that cistern with the trap
door opens Are you not afraid they viii
drop in some day and get drowned when
you are not looking on,''' said one Austin
lady to another whom she was visiting.
Mo- was the conplacent replys I'VE get
our drinking water from another cistern
that the children can't tumble into. ~ TeDas
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

-Crazed by the misconduct of her
two daughters, woman chopped off
one of her hands at Parkville, Conn
striking not less than q dozen blows
with ahatchet.-Bost0,a Post.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

In the New York Herald we lately observed
mention of the speedy cure Of Thaddeus
Dayids, Esq, of the great ink irm 127 Will
liam street, New York, of rheumatic gout by
St. Jacobs Oil.-St. PAID 1Nsr,e. Pioneer Press.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05
. A Great Enterprise.

one of Rochester's greatest business enter
prises. Their Hop Bitters have reached a sale
beyond all precedent, having from Their in
trinsic value found their way into almost ev-
cry household in the land. .--Grapltic. ..EA
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

SUMNER is nearly over, but the girls are just
as liable to be son struck in winter as they are
in July or August. RcrQll. ,-
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

*Lydia E. Pinkhan1's Vegetable COMPOUND
ranks first as a curative Agent in all com
plants peculiar to women. Cures Kidney
troubles of either sex. ..546
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

We like st. Jacobs Oil, and observe too
that the Rt- Rev., Bishop Gilmour indorses the
remedy. dy.-Bdltimore (ld.) Catholic lHirfor.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

THE lisp has broken out in Saratoga, where
thweet thimpletons utter thoft nonthenth.- -
Ne,c Haoen Register. ~s ..s ..zs.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

/ A PHILADELPHIA paper publishes poem
entitled aConfession of an Idiot" The editor
should keep his private affairs to himself
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

A WRITER in the Popular Science Monthly
tells how flies climb. There is nothing hks
science.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

swExplicit directions for every use are
given with the Diamond Dyes For dyeltg
Moses, Grasses, Eggs, Ivory, Hair, &c
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

THE great distinguishing feature of Redding' S
Russia Salve is its power to reduce inilamation.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

WHY are wicked old men like fixed stars 7
Because they scintillate-CAteago Tribune.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

WHY should Arab Bey be the favorite Of
the chiidren! Because he is one of the Ara
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

SOME men. otherwise steady-hcaded, can
never keep their balance in a bank. ~ f.,
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

PITTSBURGH has a pie factory. The pies
made are of dark color, so as not to show
dirt.-N. o. Picdyu,ee.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

SKINNY MEN. '.WeHs' Health Renewer'' re
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia 81
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

STRAIGHTEN old boots and shoes with Lyon s
Patent Heel Stiffeners, and wear them again.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

CHTRoPoDIsT advertises that his place OF
business is open in the evening. Convenient
for gentlemen who are corned at night.-Bos-
ton Commercial Bulletin. tss
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

SOMEBODY has discovered that the cat is
not mentioned in the Bible. Yet there is the
-chism.-St Louis Post Dispatch. T.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

THE corset came to stay, and that is why It
does not go out of fashion.
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

FLIES. reaches, ants, bed-bugs, rats, mice
crows, cleared out by Rough on Rats" 15c
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

Try the new brand. "spring Tobacco"
Iron County register., 1882-10-05

Use National Yeast and have light bread.
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06
H HARDWARM.

The crews of the schooners find it possible "for man to serve two-masters. ."-Pitts6u19 Telegraph.
 An old lady, hearing that John Bright con- templated visiting this country, hoped that he wouldn't bring his ''disesss' with him. Nor75st0aoe Herald.
 A scientific journal tells us that little bird, the redtail has been seen to catch nine hundred flies in an hour. Science is great thing. It gets round to giving us this infor nation just as fly time is past and it's no use to buy a redtail. Post.
 "You make mistake, sir. You set too good table altogether. Now, what's the use of cucumbers and huckleberry pie right along for a dozen meals?' q know it, sir, know It," beamsd the landlord. 'I give lem all the luxuries to wunst-" ''But, my dear sir, think of the cramps? ?' ''Jess SO, jess so. But I'm bound to get my guests into the bedrooms if I do cramp lem some" --IHe Judge.
 A Boston millionaire railroad king has a brother who is quite hard of hearing, while in Missouri as having very prominent nose Once he went to New York and dined at a friends house, where he sat between two young ladies. The ladies talked to him very loudly and rather to his annoyance, but he said nothing. Finally one of them yelled a commonplace remark at him, and then said in an ordinary tone to the other: "Did you ever see such 8 nose in all your life ?'' Pardon me, ladies'" said our millionaire, Sit is my brother who is eaf."-Boston Courier.
 .When the hay begins to tumble,
 Then the busy bee doth humble,
 And he makes the granger tumble
 In the mnnsard of his pants;
 And 50 do the hoppers and the hornets
 --Ou Cfty BIzzard
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06
Wednesday Morning, Sept. 6, 1882.

REPUBLICAN STATE CONVENTION. The Republicans in the several towns in this State requested to send the usual number of delegates to the State Convention to be held in Pecks Opera House (formerly Music HalD in the city of New Haven, on Wednesday. September 20, 1882, at 10 o'clock m., to nominate didates for State cers to appoint State Central committee and to do any other proper business.
 All caucuses for the appointment of delegates to the State convention must be held at least five days before the convention.
 The chairman of each Town committee must send Q copy of the credentials of the delegates from his town to the secretary of the Republican committee at least four days before the convention. caucus of the delegates will be held at the New Haven House on Tuesday evening. September 19, at o'clock.
 County and district delegates will be held at 10:ae of the day of the convention for the purpose of nominating members of the State Central committee By order of the State Central Committee.
 GEORGE M. HARMON, Chairman ARTHUR F. EGGLBsToN, Secretary.
 New Haven, Conn.,, Aug. 18 1882.
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06

was taken through an iron shoot to wagons below for distribution through the works. It was found that if this machine remained in operation for length of time electricity was developed by the friction of the malt with the shoot, and In the most isolated portions of it the tension of the electricity was such as to cause continuous stream of sparks The malt itself cracked, while the sparks flew from it to the hands of those standing by, who looked upon the manifestation as one of demoniacal origin. An expert was called in to examine the phenomenon, and the subject was brought before the Electrical Technical Union. Dr. Werner Siemens showed how, through the influence of the asphalt floor, the malt room was so insulated from the other portions of the building to become large Leyden jar.
 An interesting list of British annuities and pensions has just been issued. Over and above payments of the civil list, members of the royal family receive e161, ,OOO. For pen sions for naval and military services the gov ernment pays ,e38, ,166; for political and civil services, G2O, ,434 for judicial services in Great Britain, e41, ,225 ]; for judicial services in Ireland, e22,- 467; for diplomatic services, e8,173 :; miscellaneous pensions, go, ,O95 and heredi. tary pensions, &C., Of naval and mili tary pensions the e5, 900 of Earl Nelson and the e4 ,OOO of the Duke of Marlborough are intended to run to the end of time, like the e9S4 of the Duke of Schomberg's heirs, the e1 200 of the heirs of Captaia Garth, and the G4 ,OOe to the heirs of William Penn. The Duke of Wellington's e2, 900 ceases after the death of the next holder of the title Lord Eversly draws e4,OOO, Lady Elgin e1,OOO Lady Mayo e1,OOO, Mir. Milner Gibson e2,ooo, MT. Spencer walpole e2, 900, Lord Clarence Pa get e1, ,95O, MT. Charles Villiers e1 ,95O, Earl Cairns e5, ,OOo, and six retired Judges and number of ex- County Court Judges draw various sums.
 Frenchman bought an island Off the coast of Australia for about $35O, and ar- nounced his intention of founding "New France" The projector called himself a marquis, and succeeded in obtaining subscrip- tions amounting to 1000, 900 francs from colonists who joined in the expedition. The emigrants sailed in vessels bought with their own money, the ''marquis'' not accompa nying them. When the colonists reached their destination, desert, and not the rich soil and attractive surroundings promised greeted them. Hunger and sickness killed many of them, and the rest were brought home by kind shipmasters. The projector meanwhile was organizing new enterprises. It was reported that engineers had found precious stones in the land of New France, and that agriculture was hourishing. More subscriptions poured in. Soon, however, the imposition was discovered. The ''mar- quis'' is to be tried for manslaughter, embez- clement. and for enrolling military con- mand in France, body of one hundred sol diers who were to guard New France. Two fresh vessels were being equipped at Barce- Iona when he was arrested.
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06
12,OOO,OOO BOTTLES
SOLD SINCE 1870.

SOLD SINCE 1870.
 1t Stimulates the Ptyaline i'm the salIva, W htch Converts the Starch and Sugar Of soaaas: 6f yss s Food In the Stomach. If the Medicine 1s naensatian of e Food i. prey prsrsnssd4s s the 'er- It acts upon the Liver.
 itssfuia:sa + ssss HpSn the the ha,1ss: Khiansy''
 1t purihes the Blood.
 1t qutets the Nervous System.
 It promotes Digestion.
 1t Nouriahes, Strengthens and InvIgor- = 1t carries orthe Old Blood and makes 1t opens the pores of the skin md 1ndu- 0s" 1as"'y ersRsasaon Rats,;aea conn zn,v so ,sso DR. CLARK JOHNSON = ' o'' h as last snsss % is11st yona some of the Indian Hloed syrnp, and am con. con. ss9us in ali Gt sasss ssf
 Pastor Of First Baptist Church. of and all and 1t can be taken by the most delicate babe or by the aged and feeble care only being required in at L Hearing lea of some of the remarkable effected on m an Agent s and s eostle and has done cd to give 1t trial and be oenyinced. JOHN MooN have used Dr. Clark Johnson's Indian Blood syr- for sick headache and it eneotuaiIy relieved me- Irecommend 1t highly. MRS. J. WHIKEMAN.
 Bristol Hartford Co., Conn. have nsed Dr. Clark Johnson,s Indian Blood syr- up for neuralgia in the faoe which greatly troubled me, and 8 short trial gave immediate relief. MRS. VIM. BRADSHAW.
 Norwich, Conn. Dr. Clark Johnsons Indian Blood Syrup has cured of % sSd and t : like diseases. MRS. THOMAS ROBINSON. Agents wanted for the sale of the Indian Blood syrup in every town village in which have no | agents Particulars given on application. DRUGGISTS SELL TIT. laboratory y7 w. 3rd Street, N. Y. City.
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06
About Advertising Dry Goods.

 of has
 
 
  therefore in rbuiness in ectoft  erade
  sand in materials  shall departments that ehavearr fol the
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06

There is 8 renewed demand for Confedsr- ate bonds, and they have sold within few days as high as $75O per thousand. One theory is that those who were loaded at the last boom have begun buying in order to create 8 market upon which they may now unload
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06

Some of the New York papers persist in talking about the funeral of ''Chip" Smith as if it occurred in this city. They ought to know better
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06

This is good year for school teachers in Massachusetts It is said that for fifteen years there has not been the demand there for good teachers that is manifested at the present time. The best lady teachers are quoted at considerably above par, and con- mittees have to raise their salaries in order to keep them from accepting higher calls.
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06
EDITORIAL NOTES.

Editor Candee's boom appears to be very healthy one. We hope it will continue to prosper
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06

It is stated by our consuls in Russia and Sweden that not only is the cotton sent to the former market largely adulterated with sand or dirt, but that various articles of merchant disc sent to the latter, which were at first of good quality, have degenerated so that they are virtually excluded from the normal de- mand. more foolish policy than this could not be pursued
Morning journal and courier., 1882-09-06
STRONG
 FACTS/

A great many people are ask:' 7 what particular troubles BROW, ; IRON BITTERs is good for.
 It will cure Heart Disease, Par4t- ysis, Dropsy, Kidney Disease, Co"- sumption, Dyspepsia, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, and all similar diseases.
 Its wonderful curative power js simply because it purihes and CT. riches the blood, thus beginning at the foundation, and by building up the system, drives out all disease.