The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-03
ALTHOUGH WRITTEN BY JESTER, 1T
IS BY NO MEANS FOOLISH FOLLY.

! that tiresome old ssying that What
will keep one person vii! keep two
because il wont. A thousand dollar
salary won't keep two one-thousand-
dollar people, but it will keep two
I've huudred-dollsr people nicely,
and that's all you are, just now, my
boy. You need not vince or get
angry. Les me tell you, a young
map who rates in the world as a five
hundred-dollar man, all the year
round, MondByas we'll as Saturday,
the lay after Christn as just as we'll as
the day before; the fifth ofJuly as
well as the third, be is going to rate
higher every year, until he is a part
ner almost before he hoped to be q
bookkeeper. Good, reliable fve-hun-
dred-dollar young men are not such
q drug in the market as you suppose.
You marry, and your wife will bring
tact, and love, and skill, and domes-
tic genius, Womanly economy that
will early double your salary. But
you will have to deny yourself many
little Injuries and liberties? Certainly
you would; or rather you'd willingly
give them up fer greater luxuries.
And you don't want to shoulder the
burdens and cares of married life?
l see you do not. And see what
you do not realize perhaps, that all
your objections to marriage are mean
and selfish. You haven't gwen one
manly reason for not marrying. If
you do not marry, you are going into
world Of new cares, new troubles,
ne " endorsements. You are going
to be careful. and worried about
many things. Yon are going to be
tormented with household cares and
perDlexities, all new aud untried to
you. You are going to be pestered.
and bothered, and troubled. You
will have to stsy at home in the even
ing, when you used to go to the CLUB.
Your wife will have so much 10
do looking after the comfort of her
husband and children that she won't
be able to sing and play for you every
evening, as your sweetheart did.
Your time will not be your own, and
you will have less leisure and freedom
for fishing and shooting excursions,
camps in the mountains, and yacht
ing trips along the coast, than your
bachelor friends of your own age. I
admit all this. But then you will be
learning self denial; you will be liv-
ing for some one else; you will be low
ing some one better than you love
yourself, aid more than thousand
fold that compensates for oil that you
give up.
Why you want to remain single
now, my boy, is just because you are
selfish. And the longer you stay sim
gle the more this sel6shness will grow
upon you. There are some noble
exceptions among bachelors, know,
and some mean ones among married
men; and a selfish married man
needs killing more than any man I
know; but IS q rule, just look around
your own friends, and see who ser
ausel6sh men. Who is it that gives
up his seat in street car to woman,
not a pretty young girl, but homely,
Wripkled woman in a shady dress;
who is it heads the charity subscrip-
tions; who the largest pew rent; who
feeds the beggars; who finds work for
the tramps; who are the men fore.
most in unselfish work? l know,
your young bachelor friends are not
stingY. Oh, no. I know Jack Fast.
boy paid 500. last week for q new
buggy-it is as light as match-b
and has such narrow seat that he
can never ask friend to ride with
him; AMI ct the same Tins Dick
Socum, who married your sister
Alice five years ago, gave $3.50 for
the cyclone sufferers. I think the
angels laughed all that afternoon,
my boy, but don't think it was be-
cause Jack paid $50 for his new
buggy. II you want to shirk the
responsibilities OF life. my dear boy,
you may; if you want to 1--we forty or
fifty years longer With no one 1der
the heavens 20 think about, Or care
fer. or plan for, bu! yourself, 60 ahead
and do if; you will De the only looser;
the world won't miss you nearly so
much as you will miss The world; you
will have a mean, lonely. selfish, easy
thine, and unless you are a-raye ez-
oepaon to your ciass, little children
viii hate you, and the gods never yet
loved any mau Wuvm the children
disliked.
But you can't fad the right sort OF
girl. you say. Oh, yes, I understand
all that, my son. have heard much
of that before. You mourn and
lgrieVe over the lack Of true WON an
hood among the girls oiyour acquain-
lance. Mere butterflies of fashion,
you say, who can rattle the keys OF a
; grand piano; dance like fairies, chat
ter nonsense and society nothings by
the hour, and i3r their lives cannot
bake loaf of bread, roast q turkey,
do days washing, or make q shirt.
You say you demand the neblest type
Iof useful Womsnhood in your vile,
and you want 10 know where you can
find the wife you want? Well, | will
tell you, my dear boy. Il that is the
sort OF woman you want, marry Nora
Mullig2n, your lauudress's daughter.
She wears coWhide shoes. is guiltless
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