Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-11-22
The Quickest Cure on Record.


Mpunt Clemens, Mich, are at times
rs1her hard pushed for something to do
t0skill time. and the boys have their
heads together the most OF the day ar
raaging some scheme to while away the
log summer vacation.
Last season Gus Williams and Char
leg Young are the ringleadcrs in most
ofthe dcvilment, and many are the fun
ny stories told Of their pranks. in which
they were ably seconded by the rest Of
tie gang.
While over in the bath-housc one
morning Gus learned that number of
old gentlemen from the South were to
arrive on the afternoon train to exam
me the baths, and, If satisfied that the
waters were as represented. they would
take up quarters for the summer. Hav-
ing obtained the above information,
Na!iams concluded to have some fun
II 81. tine expected arrivals. and with his
chum arranged programme that will
be unfolded further on.
At 4 o'clock six Observation-Disclosures
old gentlemen, suffering from rheuma-
tism, govt. etc, arrived Mt the bath
house, and calling for the Superintend-
eut, visited the different baths, and then
proceeded to the reception-room, and
commenced to put the Superintendent
through a cross-cxamination in regard
TO their chances of being cured, and the
cost. etc. While the discussion was at
its hight. terrible uproar was heard
near the entrance of the bath-house, in
which groans, shrieks, and wells of
agony were heard that made the new
guests turn pale aud start from their
seats in alarm. The front door was
soon opened. and Gus Williams rushed
in, eXclaiming:
''For Gods sake, Doctor, get two
baths ready at once! Two me Il have Just
been taken Off the train who, we are
afraid. will not live to get to the baths.
Can you hear them outside? Here they
come now" said Gus, rs other unearth-
ly yells went up that would have made
the heart of Sioux Indian Jump for
Joy, and the door opened. disclosing the
lengthy form of Charley Young and De
Witt Cook holding up the apparently
dying forms Of Emerson and Clark who
We're on crutches, their limbs bandagcd
and their faces the picture of despair.
mo use for bath for those poor
men," said one of the kind old gentle
men; '.thev will not live an hour"
"They are bad" said Williams. '.but
we must put them in; it is their last
chance and the boys were led to the
rooms. keeping up their grooming SO
pitiful,y that the new arrivals could
scarcely keep the tears from their eyes,
big beads of perspiration standing out
on their faces almost as large rs hen
eggs.
The old gentlemen listened attentive
ly and anxiously. The groans and cries
grew fainter and fainter, and soon ceas-
cd entirely.
1.-THE poor fellows arc dead" said
one of the q. q.
II think not" said Gus; swat till
the waters take full effect"
In few minutes noise was heard
from the bathroom that sounded like
some one humming lively song aud
dance air.
- THAT'S shame," said the @. G.,
ITO be singing SO near the presence Of
death"
Just at this point out rushed Charley
Young. saying:
Gus. they're better; do you hear
them singiny'"
You don't mean to say" said all the
q. q. ut once, mot the men you just
took in there, who appeared to be dy-
ing'"
1.-The same" said Charley, and just
as he said this a crutch came fyin~ out
of the bathroom, soon followed by three
more, and then Emerson and Clark
themselves in their bathing dress, who
proceeded to dance double clog, to the
establishment of the .. g., who would
scarcely believe their eyes.
"How -how--how-many baths have
these men hadp" said one Of the o. G.
in trembling voice.
''This is their first" said Williams.
I'VE will stay here for the summer"
said the leader OF the .. IT,. aud ws
cant q bath nOu."