Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-12-13
CHILDREN'S DROLLERiES.
Anecdotes of the Enfant Terrible "---ChiIdren
Who Were UnconsciousIy Witty.


Anecdotes of the "Enfant Terrible - Children
Who Were Unconsciously Witty.
lFrom the st. James Gazette.l
Children say many quaint things.
Sometimes, too, there is a sort of wit in
the piercing directness with which they
go to the heart of question. Mr. How
ard Paul, IN collection which be has
just published of Clever Things Said by
Children, makes them too clever by
half.
The story of the board school student
who could not be made to understand
the nature of miracle, and who, in
stead of giving the answer expected from
him, declared that if he saw the moon
shining in the daytime he should say it
was the sun, and that if his master as
sured him it was not the sun he should
say his master was drunk, appeared
originally In an official report. The
mingled dullness and ingenuity with
which children will sometimes throw
new light on q question by their mode of
answering it, is often very amusing. In
order to explain in strikingly intelligi-
BILE manner the necessity of regulating
ones conduct, schoolmaster asks q boy
what, when watch goes sometimes too
fast, sometimes too. slow, the owner
ought to do with it. "Sell it, replies
the boy. The reputation for veracity
enjoyed by George Washington, in
America, has been made by his admlring
fellow-cOuntryme the subject of in
Vulnerable jests; and it appears that
some lecturer on moral philosophy, hay
ing questioned pupil as to why Wash
ington's birthday was celebrated more
than the lecturers own birthday, re-
ceived the prompt answer, " Because he
never told lie. "
| There can be no doubt as to the sharp
ness Cor as to the insolence) OF the boy
who, as he was removing the outer part
OF piece OF cheese, and was told by his
| father, III tone OF remOnstrance, that he
ate the rind, answered, 81 am cutting
this off for you" Many of the sayings
ascribed to innocent little children are
at least as rude as they are witty. What
| else can be said of the daring repartee
uttered by the boy who wished first to
know whether his grandpapa had been
with Noah in the ark, aud being an
swered CURLY in the negative, inquired
of the old man how it was that he es-
capped drowning? THERE'S a deep pathos,
OLI DLlO ObllCL lldAlNly III JIG Ldl6 vi ii Cullu
| who, having been presented with half
crown, and assured moreover that it was
a good one, expressed his regret saying
| that if it had been bad he might have
| kept it, but that as it was good, his par
| ents would take it from him. There is
drollery sometimes IN the naivette with
| which a child will mistake the character
of an action. A young man, for instance,
coming home from party so late that he
thought it desirable to take off his boots
before walking upstairs, was told by his
| infant brother, from a commanding posi-
ton on the staircase, that he need not
be afraid of waking the family, since
they were "all up"
To stories of the g enfant terrible"
kind there is really no end; for the ter
rible child is always among us, and never
ceases saying the wrong thing at the
wrong moment. 1t was one of Gavarni's
own ''enfants terrible" who, when
visitor showed the child packet of bon
bons, and said he should give them to
him upon his going away, called upon
the gentleman to depart at once. Some
of Gavarni's " enfants terrible" were
almost too terrible to be funny. They
let out the most compromising things
about their parents. In English stories
of the same type the " enfant terrible"
confines himself to Identifying a casual
acquaintance as the man who kissed his
sister on the night Of the party. There
| was not much in the indiscretion COM
mitted by child who had been warned
not to make any personal remarks to
gentleman who had recently lost his arm
in battle. sShe observed orders i'm
plicitely until she went to kiss him.
Good night, she exclaimed, adding:
Il haven't said anything about your poor
resent illusions TO wounds honorably
gained. The case may here be men
toned of boy who in large assembly
caused a general feeling of CONSERVATION
by claiming pecuniary reward for ex-
ceptional merit just displayed. He had
been cautioned not on any account to
laugh during the singing of lady who
could not sing without making grimaces,
and had been promised slxpence if he
succeeded in complying with the injunc-
ton given to him. Sc I want my six
pence, ma" he cried out at the end of
more than unusually snowy cavatina;
CT didn't laugh once" Some of Mr..
Howard Paul's best stories of clever
sayings by children present, as before
observed, the defect of endowing the
little ones with wit beyond their years.
The explanation, however, is good,
whether " a little girl - gave it or not, Of
bearing false witness against your
neighbour" to the effect that sit was
when nobody did nothing and somebody
went and told it.