davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
An Anonymous Letter.

A day or two ago a widow living on
Sixteenth Street called the policeman on
that beat into the house and informed
him that she had very serious case on
hand. Some one had written her an
anonymous letter, and she wanted the
officer to trace out the guilty party if it
took him until January, 1892.
"What was in the letter." he asked.
81 will read it. 1t begins: My dear
friend and goes on to say that the
writer has fallen in love with my red
cheeks, sparkling eyes and dimpled
chin"
"He must be a blind man." bluntly
observed the officer. 81 don't see any
red cheeks or dimples."
perhaps you don't, SIR" she coldly
replied. "but 1 will read further. He
says that my image is constantly before
his eyes, and that am the subject of his
dreams"
"Well. that's all right" said the Off
Ger, ..unless he lets the image bother his
eyes when a butcher-cart is around. He
is evidently mashed"
..And further down he says that the
sight of me getting off the street car sends
thrill through his whole SYSTEM"
Every likely, madam-that is, if you
catch your foot and sprawl on the ground.
l think l know the old coon who wrote
that letter."
"Old coonn'
'Yes. an old Goldfish down here who
has had three wives and seventeen chill
dren."
.'Sir! how dare you imagine that he
would write to me?"
"And I'll see that he is arrested"
"No, you won't! 1 warn you not to
interfere in this case in any manner"
''But l thought you wanted the guilty
punished?'
"Who said I did? 1 simply wanted
you to trace it out and give me the name
of the writer.''
$50 that YOU could prosecu te him?"
'sNo, sir! wanted to know if he was
in earnest, and if he was-you see-you
know-I would"
You'd write him that if his conduct
was repeated you'd appeal to the law?"
II think you needn't bother with the
case at allr' she remarked, as she swal-
lowed a lump in her throat. ''You don't
seem-that is you appear-that is, good
day, sir!''
''And what she wanted of me-" said
the officer rs he went back to his beat,
twas to assure her that some one really
wrote the letter in earnest, and that he
probably meant all he said. Once sure
of that she would have answered it. -
Detroit Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Thames Church Mission Society
has fitted out smack for use in convert
ing the North Sea fishermen.
The first colored Baptist Church in
Western Pennsylvania has Just been
dedicated. 1t is located in Pittsburgh.
Language lessons have been intro
duced in the st. Louis public schools
with the intention to cultivate in the
public schools scientific precision of
statement.-.S. Louis Globe.
The School Board Of Liverpool,
Eng, after full discussion, have decided
to use novels occasionally instead of or
binary reading books in the public
schools. A beginning will be made with
some of SCOTS works.-M Y Sun.
The State of Michigan has now 239
Congregational churches. During the
past year ten new churches We're organ
lied. and the total membership is TO-
957.-Detroit Post.
An exchange remarks: " Eatonton,
Ga, has a population of 1,40O, and by
actual count they are only sixty-six per-
sons that have attained the age of dis
cretion who are not members of some
church.
There is marked increase of at
tendance at religious services in Edin-
burgh, Scotland, since leading Pres
byterian preacher induced many en-
ployers of labor to give mechanics a
half-holiday on Saturday.
The abolition of recess i'm the AL
bany public schools, and the change of
70, <~f
half-past eleven in the morning, and
from quarter past one to half-past three
in the afternoon, have proved so success
full an experiment that the board has
made them permanent. Physical, moral
and social results have all been excel
lent Albany IN ~ Journal.
The good old '.birch" times are
coming back again. At late meeting
of the trustees of the college at Mill
edgeville, n. c., it was resolved that
whipping was aproper means to enforce
discipline when necessary in the primary
and preparatory departments. The
trustees believe that children are like
postage stamps-you must lick 'em we'll
TO make 'em stick to their letters.
The two largest dioceses of the
Roman Catholic Church are presided
over by tive Bishops whose names are
u Connor. One is the Hight Rev. Mich
ael o. Conner. Bishop of Australia, the
other is the Right Rev. James o Connor,
Bishop of Omaha. These two clergy
men met recently by accident in Salt
Lake City and passed several hours to,
gether.-Chicago Herald.
A wealthy person died in Union
Springs, Cayuga County, N. Y, the other
day, and in her will left $4,000 to be
used in building Baptist Church, the
church to be built within a certain time,
or the money turned over to the Baptist
State Convention. The church is now
being built, although it has but one male
member and several females. This will
make the eighth church in the village.
which has population of but 1,200.-
" Y Herald
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

tryman had dropped into it. In less than
twenty minutes he was holding five cards
in his sun-browned fist. Mr.. Pratt re.
marked that his hand was worth Just
about 81. The big agriculturist, by way
of reply, laid down dollar-note. Mr..
Pratt produced his prepared coin. The
farmer laughed, and said he wasn't bet.
ting against that kind of money. Mr..
Pratt became indignant, and offered to
bet 500 that the dollar was perfectly
good. "Wall," said the rural gentle.
man. 'rve got $500 that says its q rank
counterfeit"
Mr.. Pratt had his money up in q
minute. "We'll leave it to this gentleman
back of us, if you say So" said he, and
the farmer asserting man in the rear
seat was called up to decide. ..It's
counterfeit" said he, just taking one
glance. "But," said Mr.. Pratt, .:won'i
you please cut into it with this knife?''
The gentleman took the knife and ap-
piled its edge to the coin. 1t went
through as though the coin was made
of old cheese. The coin was lead
Fury" said the gambler, after relating
this dismal experience, ''give me
drink-Pll pay you in the morning.
Philadelphia Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
The Basking Shark.

The shark-fishing of earlier days in
New England was not unimportant in.
dustry. Then the great basking shark,
Cetorhinus, was the chief game, and SO
closely were they followed that they were
nearly driven from the Maine coast,
rarely being seen here at present. One
of the principal places for the fishery
was at Provincetown, Cape Cod. Here
it was known as the bowe, or basking
shark. Captain Atwood had met with
only three specimens, one of which had
drifted ashore in a state of decomposi.
ton. A fisherman visited the latter foI
the purpose of procuring slice for his
hens, as is the custom at Provincetown,
supposing it to be a dead whale. As.
certaining what the animal was, he re.
moved the liver and sold the oil Give OF
six barrels) in Boston for S103. in 1S4s
quite number of these sharks were met
with off Cape Elizabeth, near the coast
of Maine, and several were secured. A
tradition exists among the eastern fisher
men that about one hundred years age
the basking shark was taken in consid.
cradle numbers for the oil. In Storer's
picture of this fish the features are very
singular and striking. The nose is blunt,
the gill openings exceedingly long, oc.
cupying nearly the whole depth OF the
shoulders, and the tail is large and
curiously winged at the extremity.
FARRELL figures this fish, and
says that it is called sunfsh
on the Welsh and Irish coasts. from the
fact that it lies on the surface of the
water, nearly motionless, in the sun for a
considerable length of time. This writer
says that the largest specimen he has
seen was taken off Brighton, and meas
ured thirty-six feet in length. The term
sailfish is derived from the fact that the
creature swims listlessly along the sur
face, exposing its dorsal fin like o sail
above water. In Orkney it is called
Hoe-nsother, and by contraction Homer
that is, the mother of the picked dog .
fish, which is there called Hoe. One of
the largest of these fishes was captured
some time ago off the Georges Banks.
1t measured seventy feet in length. and
when partly hoisted aboard the schooner.
that was sixty feet long, it hung five feet
over each end. The liver filled several
large barrels. The basking shark affords
occupation to fishermen in many coun.
tries. In some parts of Newfoundland
it is harpooned, and in Iceland there are
several permanent fisheries, the spec or
blubber being one of the staples at Fisk
ernaes. Within a few years the shark
fisheries have greatly increased, and now
extend to Proven. The chief place is al
where as many as $50 sharks,
all the way from twenty-five to seventy
feet long, are brought in every season.
The oil is extremely pure. resisting the
cold, and well adapted for fabrication.
bringing greater price at Copenhagen
than the finest class of seal oil.-Cor.
NJ Y. Euening Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
First Cousins to Their Grandmother.

Relationships, of course, figure largely
in novels. In the old romances it may
almost be said that everybody turned out
in the end to be everybody else's grand
mother! One would suppose that every
kind of discovered relationship had been
already utilized to form striking incl
dent in novels. And yet we venture to
say that the following "notion" has
hitherto been overlooked by inventors oil
plots, to whom we freely offer it.
Imagine the bride and bridegroom.
after innumerable trials and obstacles OF
every kind, to be at last at the altar and
the marriage service begun. The Off
ciating bishop 1--WE will suppose the con-
tracing parties to be of such noble birth
that it takes a Bishop to unite them)
asks whether any one can allege any i'm
pediment now, .'or else forever hold his
peace" To the dismay of the wedding
party, an old woman (the evil genius or
fairy not invited to the christening)
comes forward and explains-what she
alone has known-the mystery in which
the birth of the brides mother, long
since dead, was involved. Documents
are produced which prove, to the
satisfaction (or rather dissatisfac-
tion) of all present, that the
brides maternal grandmother was
the br;degroom's half-sister, nearly fifty
years older than himself; '.and, there
FORE" concludes the malicious old bel
dame, s'as man cannot marry his niece,
the marriage is unlawfulr' Great sem
sation, of course, ensues; but the Bish-
OPP, who is well up in the Table of Kin
bred, etc., quietly remarks: ga man
may not marry his niece, but he may
marry his great-niece," and accordingly
proceeds with the service, to the discom-
future of the ancient bag and the joy of
everybody else.
Such a marriage, indeed, would be
quite lawful, for the relationship, it will
be observed, is one of four degrees, and,
accordingly, it is not one of the forbid
den degrees" Should such a marriage
be followed by progeny, we should have
the curious result that children would
have their own mother for q "Welsh
niece" and would be first cousins to
their grandmother, and first cousins
twice removed to themselves.
A marriage in high life actually took
place, a few years ago. in which the
bridegroom was first cousin twice re-
moved to the bride. Her ladyship, there
fore, became daughter-in-law to her own
Welsh nephew; and when son and
heir appeared upon the scene, he figured
as second cousin to one grandfather and
as great-great-great nephew to the other,
who was less than sixty years of age
London Society.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
Adulterated Opium.

Itappaars from chemical investigation
that opium is generally worse even than
it appears to be, from the fact that, on
account of its many authorizations, its
strength can only be guessed at. Some
samples lately analysed showed that over
a third of the mass was composed of
crushed linseed. Other samples are
found mixed with liquorice, cashew, Sc
same oils. gum arabic and tragacanth.
sand, vegetable earth, lead, starch and
animal excrement. A lot imported into
England looked well, but contained only
two per cent. of morphine. Bullets of
clay, chopped poppy leaves, rumex
leaves; tubercles of helianthus, dahlia,
colchicum and dried mushrooms are
found, the resinous character of the SUBJ
stance being supplied by plentiful use
Of pitch. Turkish opium contains rails.
ms, crushed poppy, desiccated eggs,
wax, rosin and pulverized brick. One
sample was made up of opium. clay and
dried excrement.-M Y. Sun.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
Society Note.

A GOODNESS has arisen between Kosius.
CO Murphy and Mrs. Hufnagel, one of
the most fashionable ladies of Austin.
There was lawn party at the Hufnagel
mansion. Mrs. Hufnagel showed Mr..
Murphy over the grounds, and asked
him what he thought of their arrange
ment.
81 am delighted madam" was there
ply. Wherever l look l see the foot
prints of your genius
As Mrs. Hufnagel has foot almost as
big as wheelbarrow, she supposed
there was something personal in the re-
mark. She did not hint exactly that she
was not glad to have him stay to supper,
but she opened the gate, and pointed into
the street, and Murphy, who is very sem
sitive, strolled away Texas SJftings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

Sometimes policeman will have
something happen to make him real
mad. He was tall, solid-looking Off
Ger, evidently with pretty good idea of
his own Importance, and determination
to do his duty at all hazards. Something
had occurred to make it necessary for
him to take to the station one of those
little street Arabs who are always up to
mischief. The boy didn't weigh over
seventy pounds, and the policeman
having a grip on the larger part of the
boys back, was logging him along, when
a man on team hauled up to the curb
stone, and hailing the policeman, asked:
'Do you need any helpT'-Boston Post
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

Complaint is made in California
about the extortionate charges of court
stenographers. The Judges of the Su-
perior Courts get salaries of only $1,000,
but their stenographers frequently make
$4,000 year. When the Judges for
get or do not attend to the testimony in
cases tried before them without a jury,
which is often the case, they require the
stenographers to write out copies of their
notes at the expense of the litigants. In
recent case judge at Alameda re-
quired this to be done, and for TRANSCRIPT
ing testimony taken during five hours
trial the stenographer charged S110.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The girls of the Sunny cline describe
this world as one of 50 hustle, toll and
care" We agree with them-the wom-
en- have all the hustle, and the men have
the toll and care.-Cdanbridge Tribune.
=" Modestus" writes us: There is
natatorium in the city, so where can /
learn to swim?' In the water, man
alive, in the water. You didn't think of
learning to swim in hay NOW, did you?
Burlington HaaOk-Eye.
"A Chicago minister makes note of
the fact that he has never seen a lady
reading a newspaper in a street car.
WellP He has never seen lady smok-
ing on car platform, either, has he? 1t
simply goes to show that lady is not a
gentleman.-SaUdnn Times.
"A woman forgot to send home some
work on Saturday. On Sunday morning
she told little girl who lived with her
to put on her things and take the bundle
under her shawl to the ladies house.
Nobody will see it." she said. ssBut
is it not Sunday under my shawl,
aunty?" asked the child.
The Atlanta Consultations has never
vet found a farmer wise enough to ex-
plain how red ears of corn can come
from white kernels. What's the odds,
so long as finding red ear at husking
bee entities you to kiss the best looking
girl in the crowd?
why do they call him a brake
manp" asked the child, after that excel.
lent official had looked in at the car door
and ''hollered'' one of the lamps out.
Al 4 AT L.
the silence" said the father. and the
train rolled on, laden with truth
Burdette.
THAT'S nice overcoat you have"
said swell to his friend. Think so?''
he queried. "Well, I'm glad you like
it." New style, isn't it?'' mo; L
that is, don't know" ssAnyhow.
where did you get it?'' go, say, look
here, now, you're asking too much; but
Ill tell you if you won't give me away"
IAN right" "Well, sis and L snapped
ulsters this season. That's what's the
matter. IN T. Graphic.
How often does the ferry-boat
start?" asked the lady. livery fifteen
minutes, num-" "How long is it since
the boat left herep'' Tin minutes,
mum. Lady waits ten minutes and
then says: Didn't you say the boat
starts every fifteen minutes?' Il did,
num-" ''Well, have waited here ten
minutes since you said the boat had been
gone ten minutes" Eyes, num-"
..Then how do you make out that it
starts every fifteen minuteS?' "Why,
you see, mum, it starruts from this soide
wan fifteen minutes and from the other
soide the next. Brooklyn Eagle.
why did you take that pair of law
ender-colored pants from the store of
Nose Schaumburg?' asked Justice
Gregg of colored culprit. 81 amt to
blame. ledge" ..Who is to blame?"
''My old mudder am to blame, ledge. l
took dem ar pants to save her life"
'.How so?" ''She am mighty proud oh
me, Jedge. becase I'm her only sop, an
she would hab worried herself plum to
def if she had seed me wild my old pants
on: SO to keep her from worryin' herself
to def, jess bought desc heah pants on
credit" Ninety days in the county
JAIL" interrupted the Justice Texas |
Sgtings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20
Mexican Banks.

Up TO last February Mexico had no
banks. Then concession was given to
French bankers with capital of S20,-
100000. The Government gave them
the privilege of issuing bills to the
amount of 500, 900, 900, and promised to
give the bank the business of the Gov
erument offices. In return for the con-
cession the bank gives the Government
credit for Sl0.OO0.000. There is now no
fear of further revolutions in the coun-
try, as with this large credit the Gov
eminent can at once find means to put
down an uprising. In the past the diff
Guilty has been a lack of means to sup
port an army. A bank has also recently
been established in Sonora, one-fifth Of
the capital of which is held by Boston
parties
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

An advertisement in the Freeman's
Journal, Dublin, says: '.Mrs. C. Edge
has grown five sunfowers from seed from
Utica, Oneida County, America, seven
feet four inches high, leaf one foot in
length and breadth, stem four and half
inches in circumference; blossom, QUITE.
edge orange with pale yellow centers,
circumference of the blossom of sun
flower eighteen inches; they are splen-
did specimen of the sunfower, worthy
Of cultivation as curiosity
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

Toronto papers say that much com.
plant of extortions of hackmen is being
made by American visitors to that city,
and they advise that strangers consult
policeman before making a bargain with
them. Rather than be put to the trouble
of walking two or three miles through
Toronto streets hunting for policeman,
we shall stay out of the city altogether.
philadelphia News,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

"A smile as large as they can indulge
in in Rhode Island without its lying over
the territory of the adjacent States. is
now in progress in that commonwealth
on the discovery that the sentinel, who.
during the recent siege of Canonchet
stood upon the outer walls and held the
place against all corners, was fourteen.
year-old house-girl who put on martial
attire for the occasion,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

Even tramps have tender sensibili-
ties. One in Nashville was told if he
would split cord of wood he could have
the breakfast for which he asked. He
felt so hurt over the unfeeling reply that
he went out to the wood pile and stole
the AK, and now the lady of the house
thinks that she would have saved money
by feeding him one beefsteak at thirty
three cents and potatoes at five cents per
pound.-M o. Picayune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

"A Cincinnati man in trying to break
forty-dollar colt smashed up ninety
dollars worth of property, but as he had
the applause of some two hundred men
and boys he didn't mind the loss much,
-Courier-Journdl.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

The waltz will soon be waltzed out OF
style, or atleast the hugging part of it.
Many dancing-mdsters now refuse to
teach it in any form. Form on for a
quadrille!
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-10-20

car. He was asked to decide the bet.
One contemptuous glance was given the
coin, without any close examination.
.'It's the worst l ever saw" said he; "a
blind man couldn't get stuck on that"
'Wait minute" said Greeny, quiet
ly, as MIR. Pratt was about to gather up
the stakes. ''Just take another look,
won't you? Here's knife-cut into it."
The conductor smiled, but did as re-
quested. What was his establishment to
find that the coin was covered with a
thin coating of tinfoil. which had been
cleverly pasted on with mucilage. 1t
had been pounded on SO neatly as to
bring out the figures on each side in dull
relief, giving the appearance of being a
counterfeit. The foil gave it the dead
sound and the appearance of lead.
Mr.. Pratt opened his mouth very wide,
but gave up the money. las long as
you've beaten me so neatly" he said,
'.you might give me an insight. How is
it done?"
Greeny obligingly showed the trick,
and then very kindly offered to give the
crestfallen gambler a coin already pre-
pared, so that he might have chance
''to get even.'
"a rich old countryman will get on at
Harrisburg" said Greeny, land I'll
give you a chance to go for him. in
tended to catch on myself, but you
seem to be pretty good sort of fellow
and didn't 'Squeal,' SO you can make all
there is in it. Just play the same racket
as / did,"
Mr.. Pratt felt thankful for the chance,
and kept his eye on the car door. Sure
enough, a burly countryman entered
few moments before the train started,
and IS Greeny had left his seat the cour-
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-01-14
Gard ofThanks.

Butte, NJ. T., Jan. III, l><s::..
IT, tie t;ty (0""cH If the rity cf Butte:
For their care in providing for the
City Hospital, and for the untiring
efforts to prevent spread Of the disease
during my recent illness with small
pox, return my thanks; also to the
most kind friends who have cn,lcsavorc,l
to DO all in their power to surround n'e
with ease and comfort during my con-
va,t.scence; also t" Dr. Wright for restOr-
ing me to health and usefulness at this
early date, thereby bringing this dread
disease to u termination, for which he
deserves the regards Of the community
for duty we'll performed. While
words fail t" convey the deep sense Of
obligation feel, lit all my friends and
my physicians receive the heartfelt
thanks Of OTTO AEELISG.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-01-14
PERSONAL.

The Misses Julia and Birdie Kumlty
have arrived safely in Helena.
Mr.. Lee w. Foster has leen recently
enjoying southern winter in Los An
gcies, Gal.
Mr.. Fred. Taylor has hccn confined
to his bed with y severe attack Of neu-
r,.lgia for some days past. He is now
culvalescing.
Miss Eva Goodrich, who was married
nixht before last tn Rev. ]. J. Garvin,
was IN old school mate Of his In Du-
rand. Wisconsin.
Rev. NJ. r. Hall, after officiating ut
tie marriage of his Ola school mate,
Rev. J. J. (}arvin, left yesterday morn
ing for sun River.
Mr.. HI. Mcintyre, brother Of the local
e.lit0r of the Helena Hrrt'td, and who
visited Butte some weeks agO, Ina. gone
to Benton to practice law.
Dr. A. HI. Mitchell and Mr.. +. d.
Holland, Of Deer Lodge, and Mt. W. +.
Allison, Of Philipsburg, left this morn
inx for nm extended tour through the
South. Mr.. Holland has nat been east
for twenty-aix years.