The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-09-01
A Progressive Century.

In one of those delightful tales of Vol.
taire l remember how the King of
Babylon cured of excessive self-esteem a
great satrap called Irax. The moment
he awoke in the morning the master of
the royal music entered the favorite's
chamber with a full chorus and orchestra,
and performed in his honor cancata
which lasted two hours, and every third
minute there came a refrain to this effect:
What virtue. what grace, what power hath he!
How pleased with himself my lord must be!
The cancata over, royal chamberlain
advanced and pronounced haranguc
that lasted three-guarters of an hour, in
which he extolled him for possessing all
the good qualities which he had not got.
At dinner, which lasted three hours, the
same ceremonial was continued. If he
opened his mouth to speak, the first
chamberlain said: clark, we shall hear
wisdomw And before he had uttered
two words the second chamberlain said:
"What wisdom do we hearw Then the
third and fourth chambeilains broke into
shouts of laughter over the good things
which Irax had said, or rather ought to
have said. After dinner the same can
cata was again sung in his honor. On
the first day 1rax was delighted; the
second day he found less pleasant; on
the third he was bored; on the fourth he
said he could bear it no longer, and on
the fifth he was cured. 1 sometimes
think this nineteenth century. with its
material progress and mechanical inven-
lions, its steam and electricity, gas and
patents, is being treated by the press and
other public admirers much az the cham
berlains in Zadig treated the satrap. The
century is hardly awake of morning be-
fore thousands of newspapers, speeches,
lectures and essays appear at its bedside
or its breakfast table, repeating as in
chorus:
What virtue, what grace, what power hath he!
How pleased with himself my lord must bel
Surely, no century in all human his
tory was ever so much praised to its face
for its wonderful achievements, its wealth
and its power, its unparalleled ingenuity
and its miraculous capacity for making
itself comfortable and generally enjoy
ing life. British associations and all
sorts of associations, economic, scientific
and mechanical, are perpetually execut-
ing cantatas which (alas!) last much
longer than three hours. The gentlemen
who perform wonderful and unsavory
feats in crowded lecture halls always re-
mind lis that ''never was such a time as
this nineteenth century" Public men
laying the first stones of institutes,
museums or amusing the Royal Academy
after dinner, great inventors who have
reaped fortunes and titles raise up their
hands and bless us in the benignity of
affiuent old age. l often think of Lord
Sherbrooke, in his new robes and cOrnet,
as the first chamberlain, bowling and cry
ing out: "What noble age is this"
The journals perform the part of the
orchestry, banging big drums and blow
trumpets-penny trumpets, twO-penny,
three-penny, or six-penny trumpets--and
the speakers, before or after dinner, and
the gentlemen who read papers in the
sections, perform the part of chorus,
singing in unison:
How pleased with himself this age must be!
As a mere mite to this magnificent
epoch, 1 ask myself what have done,
and many plain people around me who
have no mechanical genius at all-what
have We done to deserve this perpetual
cataract of congratulations? All that
can think of is the assurance that
"Figaro" gives the count: "Our lordships
gave ourselves the trouble to be born in
."-fOTtni0htLU ReC2eU.