davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
EVENING SCHOOL.

Agisiaus, King Of Sparta, being asked
what things he thought most proper for boys
to learn, replied; I" those things which they
will practice when they become men," The
good Judgment Of all persons will admit that
this was the true answer. 1t seems therefore
a little singular to find so many young men
Just beyond the confines of school who have
no adequate knowledge of the science of &C
counts and the forms of doing business.
When it is considered how large proper
ton of town-bred boys become eventually
business men, it can be readily seen what
the effect of this ignorance will be.
The study of bookkeeping is peculiar in
the range it gives a teacher of examining
into and supplementing defects in the edu-
cation of student. Spelling, penmansnip,
accurate figuring, good language, proper
forms-all these stand out prominently in
the books and papers which he must prepare.
These things every business man must know
or suffer the consequences. How unimpor
tant are all other qualifications compared
W iththem to him; what is a smattering of
Algebra compared with neat business hand.
Geometry may teach you to compete the
distance to the sun, but the ability to express
yourself in plain, grammatical and intelli
gent English is somewhat more important.
You may incline to the Sciences or have a
taste for Art or Literature. If so, cultivate
them by all means, but don't neglect to in
form yourself upon the forms and RESPONSE
bilities of parties 10 q note, draft, or mort
gage, and at least, the rudiments of book
keeping, for if you devote very much of your
time to the former you will be apt to stand
in need of the latter.
The attention of young men who lack thi:
training is invited to the Evening School
You can prepare yourself by at least one
winters discipline in this most practical OIL
all studies. without leaving home, without
interfering even with your regular daily
employment. and at cost that is nominal.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
MARKETS..
Corrected weekly by Lentz 8 Funok.l

corrected weekly by Lentz Funck.l
pples-6Oc@$1. 10 for good winter fruit
Barley-No. 2, Zoe; extra No. 8, 55c s:
No. 9, 45c: feed, 35@40c.
.S2.00@$2.25 for choice hand
picked others unsaleable.
Butter-Fair to medium. very dull at
2O@25c; choice to fancy, 10000 cream
cry, S0@34c.
Cheese-121c. for full cream; SKINNED, SC.
Corn-Ear, 10000; shelled, old, 78o
new. Csc.
Oats-New, 31@34c;
Potatoes-Sound, 45@55c.
Flax, $1.O6.
Flour-Minnesota patent spring, $500
do, straight, $500; Simmons, Arndt & Co.,
$5.50@$6 90; patent, $3.50.
Wheat bran-$l4 per ton.
Wool-35c.
Beef, $500 @$4.5O per cwt., sheep,
So O0@$4.00 each calves, $6.O0@$6 so pei
cwt.. live weight; dressed hogs, $3.50
@$7 90 per cwt.
Poultry.-Turkeys, dressed, 1879; geese
dressed, 10@11c; chickens, dressed. 8@12c;
ducks, dressed, 1O@11c.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
NOTICE TO TAKP4PERS.

The Tax Roll of the City Of Kenosha for
the yeBr 1882 is now in my hands for collee-
ton. Payments may be made to me at my
store in Masonic Block on and after Monday,
Dec. IL, 1882, until Monday, Jan. 90, 1888,
at which time all unpaid taxes will be re-
turned to the county. On all taxes paid on
or before the first Monday in January next
will deduct the five per cent added thereto
for collection.
Kenosha, Dec 9, 1882.
PAUL SAUBER, Treasurer.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
HONORABLE.

Mother" said atwelve-year old Kenosha
boy, " what is the meaning of Hon. before a
mans name?''
"H.o.n. means honorable, my son. and
is generally applied to Senators, Reprasen-
tatives in Congress- members of the Legisla-
ture, Judges and Mayors "
"Are all men honorable who have Hon.
before their name?"
"No. my child why do you ask p
Because heard a man on the street say
that some of our honorables ought to be in
State prison"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
1T MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE.

The manufacturers have yet to hear of sim
gle case of dyspepsia and biliousness, when
Z6PEsA was used as directed, in which it was
not more than satisfactory. Many write
that it is a wonderful remedy. We can show
where as high as 40 pounds were gained by
its use in breaking up chronic biliousness
and dyspepsia. Its friends increase very
fast, and all who use it as directed are sur
prised and gratifed.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

value of its feeding qualities. 1t is TO be
hoped that our people will appreciate the i'm
portance of turning out in numbers TO hear
the Professor when he comes TO hold meet
ing in this county. 1t is probable he will
be accompanied by Hon. Clinton Babbit,
Secretary of the State Agricultural Society.
K. FIR
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
STOCKHOLDERS MEETING.

The annual meeting of The stockholders
of the Phillips Furniture Manufacturing
Company, for the election Of Directors and
the transaction of any other business that
may properly come before the meeting, will
be held at the Office of the Company on
Tuesday. the second day of January, 1883, at
Z 80 P. NJ. ]. NJ. JACOBS,
Secretary.
Kenosha, Wis, Dec 18th, 1882.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

with an absolute certainty of
curing you.
ZOPESA from BraziD cures
Dyspepsia and BiliOusness. A
single dose relieves; a sample
bottle ccnvinces; a IS cent
bottle cures.
1T acts directly upon the
Stomach, Liver, and Kidneys.
Cleansing, Correcting, Reg
ulating, ZOpesa gives energy
and vim to the Brain, Nerve,
and Muscle, simply by work.
ing wonders upon the Diges-
ton, and giving activity to
the Liver.
Cut this out, take it to any
dealer in medicines, and get
at least one rs cent bottle of
ZOpesa, and tell your neighbOr
how it acts. 1t is warranted
to cure Dyspepsia and Bill
lOUSD0SS.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
ANXIOUS MOTHERS ; s &; T.; e.. q: &: !;

and strong and useful men and women, all want Dr.
Sozinskcys Great Book :" The Care and Gull
ture Of Children" 1t is Mothers Hand
book from the infancy to the maturity finer children
and its will many lives doctors bills
and tens of thousands from wrecked health and
wrecked morals. We do not publish or sell in any
way any book that we cannot heartily recommend,
and add this to Household Series of useful
books with great pleasure. Sold only by subscription.
We want agents in Iowa, Michigan, Nebraska Wis
consin and Dakota. Circulars giving table Of con-
tents free, Commissions liberal. Address,
A. G. WILCOX,
MINNEAPOLIS, MINI.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
A GRICULTURAL SOCIETY
MEETING.

The adjourned annual meeting of the
Agricultural Society will be held at the
Grant House, in the city of Kenosha, on
Monday. January 8, 1883. at II 80, sharp,
for the purpose of settling with the outgoing
treasurer and 1isposing of the money on
hand. All members are invited to attend
D. A. MAHoNEY,
Secretary.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
CORNS AND WARTS

are positively cured By the use Of HINRIcH's
AMERICAN Corn CURE; causes no pain of
soreness. The best thing ever discovered.
Cure guaranteed. Take no other Price,
25 cents For sale by F. Robinson
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
A CARD.

desire to announce to my friends and
patrons and all others desiring first class
dental work at lowest prices, that l have
opened an Office over the First National
Bank, opposite the Express office.
25tf J. F. GEORGE
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
STRONG
FACTS/

A great many people are asking
what particular troubles Browns
IRON BITTERs is good for.
1t will cure Heart Disease, Paral-
ysis, Dropsy, Kidney Disease, Con-
sumption, Dyspepsia, Rheumatism,
Neuralgia, and all similar diseases.
Its wonderful curative power is
simply because it purifes and en-
riches the blood, thus beginning at
the foundation, and by building up
the system, drives out all disease.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
GO TO THE CHEAP STORE,
AIT MAIN STREET.
Grand Display of Holiday Goods at
Less than Half Value.

Toilet Sets i'll gold band raised flowers
China Cups and Saucers, gold band, very fine.
Toys and Dolls, away down.
Fine Vases, Pocket Books and Back Combs.
Plated Jewelry and Silk Handkerchief
Plated Table Knives and Forks.
Table and Tea Spoons.
Fine display of Fancy Goods.
Ladies' Beaver Dolmans, 81 to S..
Mems heavy Overcoats, SO. so to S..
Ladies' Bear Hats, 70 cents to so cents worth ST..
Gents Fur Hats, 81 to 81. so, worth $3.50.
Best Cook Stoves in the world-No.7 7, $l2 No. 8,
$14 No. 8, SIG.
Crockery and Glass ware, &c.
Kenosha, Wis. KENNEDY & FINLAN.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
SKINNY MEN.

wells Health Remover restores health
and vigor. cures dyspepsia, impotence,
sexual debility. ST.,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
3" ROUGH ON RATS"

Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies, ants,
bed-bugs, skunks, chipmunks, gophers. l5c
Druggists.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

On motion, the matter was referred to
Committee on Gas, to report at next meeting.
Aid. Lentz presented the following amenl l.
ment to Ordinance No. A
BE it ordained By the auditing Board of the
CFtg Of Kenosha:
That section (3) three of Ordinance No.
A, IN relation to auctioneers, be and the
same is hereby amended by substituting the
word (50) fifty in the place eff five (5),
where it first occurs in said section.
Laid over under the rules, and ordered
published.
Moved by Aid. Lentz, that the Marshal be
instructed to investigate complaint of building
on Middle street at east end of Island bridge
and report to Mayor for further orders.
Carried.
The chairman of Harbor Committee was
Entrusted to examine Main street bridge, and
regulate the tension on the rods, if necessary.
On motion of Aid. Hazelton, the Mayor
was allowed $40 to settle with special police.
Moved by Aid. Van Vie. that the Clerk be
constructed to draw orders for the annual
allowance of 500 to each of the Fire Com
panies.
Secluded and carried
Complaint against sidewalk of c. Binnin-
ger on Market street referred TO Committee
on Streets and Alleys, with power to act.
Motion to adjourn. Carried.
F. W. MATHEWS, City Clerk.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
ITEMS FROM THE TAX ROLL FOE
The CITY.
ADVERTISED MAIL MATTER.

The following is list of mail matter remain
ing uncalled for at the Kenosha Post Office,
Kenosha Co., Wis. for the week ending
Dec. 21st, 1882. and which will be sent to the
Dead Letter Office at the expiration of thirty
days, unless called for.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
BUSINESS CARDS.
thony Van wyck,

Anthony Van Wyck,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
office at Room 2, Masonic Block, Kenosha, WIS.
Practices in all the Courts; pays particular at
tentiOn to Probate business. Also Gomez slols
made; Loans negotiated on keai Estdte' ElolV
uaOpe houOht and sold.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
BUCHUPABIA.''

Quick. complete cure, all annoy ing kidn ey
bladder and urinary diseases. ST.. Druggists
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
Legal Notices.
KENosHA COUNTY CIRCUIT COURT.

Sarah D. Myrick, Plaintiff. against William
Bartling, Adolph MuntZenberger, James q.
Scath and Harvey i. Scath, Defendants.
BY virtue and in pursuance OF Judgment Of
foreclosure and sale rendered by the above
named Court in the above entitled action on the
10th day Of November A. ID. 1881. in favor of
said Plaintiff and against said Defendants,
shall offer for sale and sell at public vendue. at
the front door of the Court House, in the city
and county of Kenosha, in the state of WiscOn-
sin, on Saturday, the Both day of December, A.
ID. 1882, at one O'Clock in the afternoon of that
day, the real estate and m0rtgaged premises
directed in said judgment to be sold, and there
in described as follows, to wit The west part
of the northwest quarter OF the north west
quarter of section two, township one, north, OF
range nineteen. east lying south OF the Keno
sha and Geneva road, being one and hall
acres of land, more or less, except right OF way
for Theodore HOffer on the line OF sections two
and three; also seven acres, commencing at
the north least corner of the south west quarter
Of said section two thence west on the quarter
section line five and 3S-100 chains thence
south thirty six and Il degrees east, Two ana
27-1OO chains; thence south twenty ana z de-
grees west, four and 95-l00 chains; thence
SOuth nine degrees west. four and 81 100 chains;
thence south forty eight degrees east, two and
84-100 chains: thence south eighty two and Il
degrees east to the east line, four and 43 -tU0
chains. to the place of beginning. all IN the
town of Wheatland, in said county and state.
Dated, Sheriff's office, KenOsha, wisconsin,
this 18th day of November, A. ID. 1882
H. G. BLACKMAN,
Sheriff Kenosha Co., Wis.
JAMES CAyANAGH, Plaintiffs Attorney.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

Enos Kingman, special police, without
pay. appointment confirmed.
On motion of AID. Lentz, the City Physi :
clan was allowed J years salary.
The City marshal and officers O. Brien and
Newhouse were allowed one months salary
each, on motion of Aid. Jacobs.
Auctioneer bond Of A. D. Robinson pre-
scented aud accepted.
Mr.. A. J. Griggs. of South Chicago, APP
peared before the Board, as contractor for
the "Sun Vapor Burner Company" oper-
ating their patent for lighting cities and
towns with 740 deodorized gasoline, naphsha
or burning fluid, offers to enter into contract
with the city to light IS to 100 street lam
terms, same as sample shown. The city to
furnish posts and lanterns and keep in re-
pair; the Sun yapor Burner Co to furnish
and own the attachments and burners, to
keep all lanterns cleaned and in good order
to show proper light, to furnish all burning
material and labor for lighting, on three to
i've years contract, at eighteen dollars per
post each year. Lighting to be commenced
the fourth night after a full moon and stop
lighting the fourth night after a new moon
to commence lighting at dark and let light go
eat from II to 2 A. NJ.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

OF BRIGHTON, WIS.,,
TACTICAL CTIONEER
~ business entrusted to him will receive
Ransasville. Racine Co. Wis.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
REG ULAR MEETING OF THE AUDIT
ING BOARD.

Dec. Is, 1882.
Present Mayor Williams Aid. Hazel
ton. Jacobs, Van Vie and Lentz.
Minutes of last meeting read and approved.
The Finance Committee having examined
the Treasurer's report to Dec. 18th, find the
same correct.
(Signed) E. G. HAzELToN. Chairman.
The report shows
Balance on hand at last acknowledgements 29S.0S
Amount received 0231
Amount received Time Orders $500
Total s7,836-8s
Amounts paid out as per vouchers returned 7,3OO14
Balance $3.50 Is
On motion, accepted, and ordered spread
on the minutes.
The following bills, referred at last meet
ing, were reported correct:
Simmons Lumber Co., streets and aleys-......s lo4 %
L. Grant Son, ... zZ6. %
Simmons and Co., harbor and bridges account 4.05
On motion of Aid. Van VIE, allowed and
orders drawn for the amounts.
The following bills we're presented, proper
ly certified
N S. Water Co., rent of hydrants. 81
Geo. s. Baldwin, coal for dredge o9Ut
Mrs Vroomsn, rent. AN
Anton Jansen. drayage ,.........,.... ...... 1Ot
Anton Jansen ....,..,..... 22.0(
John Bruins street worl............. 48(
F. Holderoess. ..........,.,,.,....... 64(
VIM. Schumacher, street work. ........-...... 800
Z N. Utter ..,......... 90C
N Rohr, g ........... l.
Paul Sauber. poor OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. SO 81
Mrs Jaeger ..................... 1900
On motion of AID Hazelton, rules were
suspended and bills allowed.
The following bills were referred:
Head & Sutherland S27s. 81
Dennis Kelley III
John Stret...... lot
Report of John Smith, Street Supervisor
for South Division. referred to committee on
Streets and Alleys.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

Manufacturers Of Engines and Boilers, the Ke-
nOsha Union ThImble Skeins, Tire Benders,
fire Drills, Blacksmith's Tuyere Irons, CaldTOn
Kettles, Clothes Reel Irons, Reacn m fi ia,Ie'
Bolster Plates, Rub Irons and Sash Welghts.
Also repairing OF Machinery and Implements
pnairpd
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
WILL YOU
EXCHANGE

Dyspepsia or
BiIiOuSnesS
for cents?
1T is awfully
unWiSe to
agOniZe un-
derthe many
a linn g n t S
arising from
Indigestion,
DiSOrdered
Stomach and
Liver, when
this offer is
made to you
in your own
home in all
@ Z nnn~
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

LETTERS.
Clark, Robert Mulhord, Capt.
Cohlez, Duglas Melville, Moses
Carlton, Joseph Powers, P. P.
Davis, Mics Celina Satler, Elizabeth
Evans, Bill Spencely, Edward
Harvard, James Struck, Caspar
Moxley, W. H. West, Martha E.
To obtain any of the above mail matter the
applicant must give the date of this list.
CHARLES FRANTz. P. NJ.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
A Lady Cured Of Rheumatism.

Baltimore, Nd, May ?, 1880.
My health was much shattered by
Rheumatism when commenced
taking Browns Iron Bitters. and /
scarcely had strength enough to at
tend to my daily household duties.
am now using the third bottle and /
am regaining strength daily, and /
cheerfully recommend It to all.
| cannot say too much in praise
OF it. Mrs. MARY E. BRAsHFAR.
I73 Prestmanst.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
Kidney Disease Cured.

Christiansburg, Va, 1851.
Suffering from kidney disease.
from which could get no relief. 1
tried Browns Iron Bitters, which
cured me completely. A child of
mine, recovering from scarlet fever.
had no appetite and did not seem to
be able to eat at all. Igave him Iron
bitters with the happiest results.
KYLE MONTAGUE.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22
Balance $685. q
On motion, accepted, and ordered spread

Report of John Smith, Street Supervisor
for South Division. referred to committee on
Streets and Alleys
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-22

oughly refined flower of medicine. II
knows no halfway measures, but radically
uproots all diseases of the kidneys, liver and
bowels, 1t overthrows piles, abolishes con-
stipation and treats the system so gently and
soothingly as to prove its true kindship to
nature in all it's praises. 1t is prepared in
both liquid and dry form.
Don't you forget that Santa Claus. with his
will stop at Apollo Hall, Friday evening,
Dec %, 1882, on his way to the North Pole.
Be sure TO come and bring the children.
Admission 25c children under II, ] s cts.
Owing to the unpleasant state of the
weather on Tuesday evening, the fair given
by the ladies of st. Matthews church was
not so we'll attended as it might have been.
A large assortment of Japanese ware had been
procured from Chicago, and this, together
with the Christmas tree and the fancy work
furnished by the ladies of the parish gave
the parlors Of the Grant House an attractive
appearance. About one hundred and fifty
dellars was made.
xAmong the ladies who may read this
there may be several sickly ores who have
made up their minds to act on the old saw
| which SpeGlnes InAL - W nat can De cureu,
must be endured" While the truth of the
old proverb is self-evident, it is just possible
they may have erred in judgment as to the
possibilities of the healing art outside of the
medical profession. and before giving up in
despair they had better test the efficacy Of
Mrs. Lydia 4. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. which is now attracting universal at
tention.
The third edition of CoPP's SETTLERS
GUIDE, a popular exposition of our pablic
land system, is before US. 1t is edited by
HENRY N. Corr, of Washington, D. c., the
we'll known author. Us price is only 25
cents in paper and 70 cents in cloth: 8vo
ia pp The chapter on surveys is illus
trated and shows how to tell township and
section corners, SC. The chapters on
HoMEsrEADs. PRE EaPTIoNs. and TrMBEF
! CULTURE contain the latest rulings and In
! structions. Every settler and land mar
, should have copy of this valuable little
book.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-15
A LEGEND.

There is a legend, shrined midst the dust of years,
That soft oer-hangs an ancient Spanish town,
OF how, when Arragon was wrought with fears
Of slavery beneath a Moorish crown,
There came a SIN ling woman to the square,
Where towards knelt before cathedral door,
Who, quick uplifting arm that was as fair
AS fairest jewel from the Kholapore,
Thus to the kneeling cravens, smiling, said;
"Men of Arragon. what fear ye, the while
The sun bears no foul stain of Moorish red
No day is lost that sees our sun-god smiIe!"
So when night, with gentle step drew nigh,
To kiss the Guadalquiver's sapphire wave,
A legion did the Moorish host defy;
A brlght-eyed wonan's smile had made men brave
Gone is that ancient town upon the Spanish main.
And bright no more may fash the Paynim spear:
But woman's smile wins ali the world again,
And holds it all within a woman's tear.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-15

eyes must be g~ratiied in some way. Nearly
all the blacks eyes are obtained in the same
way, if my information is correct. Is al
ways either q piece of stovewood thatfies up
and hits the unfortunate ladies, or a piece of
bric-a-brac that drops down and carroms on
their lovely eyebrows. Poor things! It's
astonishing what dangers they incur in per-
forming their HOUSEHOLD duties. It's astonish-
ing that the Legislature or board of %supervi-
sors doesn't do something to suppress the
quarrelsome disposition of stovewood and
bric-a. brac. There's q collection of old
plates and mugs on Van Ness avenue that I'd
back for 81. 900 to whip Paddy Ryan or any
other prize fighter in the country"
"Have you noticed thai these inhuman
acts of bric-a-brac and stovewood are affect
ed in any way by the seasons p
"Well-yes. Such festive occasions as
Christmas and New Years seem to excite the
brutal instinct of both 20 the highest pitch. I
have noticed, though, that other articles are
much more affected by seasons and by out
| side events than bric-a-brac and s]tovewood
are. The latter are always filled with impla-
cable luminosity to married woman and graf.
| ifY their hatred whenever their defenseless
victims give them a chance to. Rocking
chairs, hat-racks, stairways, mats, doors.
and mantels are only the mortal enemies of
the male sex, and do more TO keep up the
price of sticking plaster than Harry May
nard's gymnasium. Hardly a day passes
that I don't have to touch up some worthy
citizen who has been knocked off his pins by
a rocking chair Or garroted by a hat rack.
The other night one of the most sedate mer-
chants on California streets was quietly
crawling up stairs to his family. boots in
hand when a treacherous hat stand dealt him
a blow under the ear that nearly lifted him
out of his stockings. Before the astonished
citizen could defend himself the stairs joined
in the brutal attack, and belabored him so
numerically that when he dropped into my
shop the next day [ thought he must have
come down head first through the stove-pipe.
This is one instance of the numerous in
stincts of the articles named"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-15
Frescoed

A San Francisco sign painter, who does q
| rge business in Disgusting black eyes sailed
for Europe recently, the profits of the hol-
iday trade having justified him in taking q
pleasure trip across the Atlantic. Just be-
fore he started he told q Chronicle reporter
that his ordinary price for fixing one eve
was So so. He made the astonishing state
ment that some ef his best customers are
ladies. Yes, sir" be said, .'accidenis. you
know, will happen in the best regulated fam
lilies, and the feminine weakness for black