Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1882-12-26
his Pa .oFu6ed.


His Pa Mortified.
Peek's Sun.
What was the health officer doing
over to your house this morning" said
the grocery man to the bad boy, as
the youth was firing frozen potatoes
at the man who collects garbagein the
alley.
20, they are searching for sewer
gas and such things, and they have
got plumbers aud other society experts
Jill you can rest, and | come away
Tor tear they would find the sewer gas
and warm my jacket. Say, do you
think it is right, when anything smell.
awfully, to always layit to q boy?"
We'll, in nine cases out of ten they
would hit it right, but what do you
think is the trouble over to your
house, honest?"
"S.h-hl Now don't breath a word
OF it TO living soul, or I'm a dead
boy. You see | was oyer to the dairy
fair at the exposition buildinG
Saturday night, and when they
were breaking up me and nv chm
helped to carry boxes of cheese and
frkins Of butter,and a oheefe mar gav,
each ofus a piece of limberger cheese,
wrapped up in tin foil Sunday
morning opened my piece. aud Il
made me tired. 0, it was the awful,
est smell | ever heard OF, except the
smell when they found a tramp who
hung himself IN the woods on tn,
White6sh Bay road, and had beer
dead three weeks. 1t was lust like !
old back number funeral. Pa anc
ma were Jest getting ready to 20 t
church, and | cut off a piece Of cheese
aud put it inside pocket Of pas vest
and | put another in the lining of mai
mutf, and they went down to church
too, and sat on a back seat with my
chum, looking just as pious as though
| was taking up a collection. The
church was pretty warm, and by the
time they got up to sing the first hin
pas cheese began to smell a mattel
against mas cheese. Pa held ont
side OF the hymn book and ma helC
the other, and pa he always sings fol
all that is out, and when he bracet
himself and sang Just as | am, mi
thought pas voice vas tinotureC
with bllIousness, and she looked a
him, aud hunched him and tolC
him to stop singing and breathe
through his nose, cause his breatl
was enough to stop a clock. Pa stop
ped singing and turned around kline
OF cross towards ma, and then h
smelled mas cheese, and he turnet
his head the other way and said
Whew, and they didn't sing an.
more, but they looked at each othe
as though they smelled trowy. WheI
they sat down they sat as far apart a
they could get, and pa sat next to
woman who used to be nurse in a hos
pltal, and when she smellcd pas ohees
she looked at him as though SD
thought he had the smallpox, and sh
held her handkerchief to her nose
ihe man In the other end OF the pew
that ma sat near, he was a strange
from Racine, who belorgs to on
church, and alter the minister prayed
and they got up to sing again, the ma
took his bat and went out and when h
came by me he said something in
whisper about a female glue factory
Well, sir, before the sermon was owe
everybody In that part of church ha
their handkerchieis to their noses,a an
they looked at. pa and ma scandaloul
and the TWO usheTs they came aroun
IN the pews looking for a dog,and whe
the minister got over bis sermon an
wiped the persplration of his face, b
said he would like 10 have the trustee
OF the church stay there after meetiD!
as there was business OF importanc
to transact. lie said the question 0
proper ventilation and sewerage for th
church would be brought up. and tha
he presumed the congregation ha
noticed this morning that the churc
was unusually full of sewer gas. II
said ne had spoken Of the matte
before, and expected it would b
attended to before this. He said h
was a meek and humble follower Q
the Lamb, aud was willing to cas-
his lot wherever the Master decided
but he would be blessed if he woul
preach any longer in a churcI
that smelled like a bone boiling es
adjustment. He said religion wa
a good thing, but no person coul,
enjoy religion as we'll in a fat rendin
establishments as he could In a howe
garden, and as far as he was concerne,
he had got enough. Everybody locke
at everybody else, and pa looked a
ma as though he knew where the sewe
gas came from, and ma looked at n
real mad, an6 me and my chum lit on
for home and distributed the cheese al
around. | put a piece in mas burea,
drawer, down under her underclothes
and a piece in the spare room. upde
the bed, and a piece in the bath room
in the soap dish, and a slice in m
album, on the parlortab and droppe
a piece under the range in m
kitchen. | tell YOU the house wa
loaded for bear. Ma came home fro,
church first, and when | asked wher
pa was. she said she hoped he ba
gone 10 walk around a block 10 a
hisself. Pa came home To- Dime
and when he got a smell Of the hons
he opened ali the doors, and ma pu