The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1882-04-28
spooprNpYKE,s suspRNpnRs.

Brooklyn Englcl aii
Now ms dear said Mr.. Spoopendyke |
as he stretched hinselfsand drew gu his
pantaIoons. you have cleaned these trnu
sers up drst rates. This is what / call
economy. It saves money. Ii I'd taken
EN- to the taior's it wonld have cost a
couple Of dollars at least, and you've
saved Just that amount And Nh.
Spoopendyke went to his ablutions, and
then pulled on his shirt,
an clean your coat. too, ifyou like,
said Mrs. Spoopendyke. Leave 1t at
home sons day, and I'll take this spot
ont u theeIeeye Aud Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke BUSTED around aud looked delights
ed with the idea Of pleasing her husband.
Where's my suspenders 2 asked Mr..
Spoopendyke, screwing himself around
and looking down his back 'You didn't
clean the suspenders clear out of my
sight, did you?
They we're here when you put on
your pants.' said Mrs. Spoopendyke. i
haven't touched them. What did you
do with them 2
'Oh, yes, certainly, did something
with them rhink ] set 'em up in busi
ness somewhere, don't you? Got an
idea gave EN- a vacation to go fishing,
haven't You? Well, i didn't and nore'n
that l didn't send 'em away to be educa-
ted for the ministry. Where is my sns-
penders Where'd you put 'em? S'pose
Tn going around holding these pants up
all day? Thiuk got no business inter
est besides holding on my breeches with
both hands? Whatdid you do with the
measly tningsP'
Il know / didn't take them off the
pants, said Mrs. Spoopendyke, pulling
open the bureau drawers aud hustling
things around ia vain endeavor to find
the missing articles.
Maybe can fix your pants so you
won't need any suspeuders to day, and
Eli find them before night, suggested
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
That's it. You've got it, raved Mr..
Spoopendyke How are you going to
fix emp Going to tie them on with a
shoestring, like you do your hustle
Going to walk round behind me all day
and hold EN- onp P'raps you can pull
'ern no aud button EN- around my neck
How dSoa propose to fix EN-? Going
to put EN- on me upside down so they'll
fall up? If had your head I'd go ouI
to service as a file. FIX 'em why don't
youP Why don't you fix 'em | These
trousers are getting sick at the stomach
waiting to be fixedF AMI Mr. Spoopen
dyke shot across the room and dove un
der the wardrobe in search of the lost gu
peuders.
They must be there somewhere.
Show em to me then + demanded MI
Spoopendyke. Take stick and point
'em out TO me OF course they're her,
somewhere, ouly just put your thumt
on EN- What have you done with 'em
, Cant you recollect whether yon mad
'em up into hat bands for the heatEen
: like you did my dressing gown, Or whetl
er you planted 'em to s.e if they woulI
grow, like you did my straw hat? Thin
they walked off like croton bng
S'pose that those suspenders have tax
I, en- their girl to picnic ? What kind o
housekeeping do you call this anyhow
Where's those suspend RS howled Mr.
Spoopendyke, poking around in the soil
. ed clothes bag. Where's those suspen
? ders I? and be pulled the books off tl
:. shelf and rumaged around behind th
= case with a broom handle for divininl
rod.
u Just let me buckle them tight benin
9 said Mrs. Spoopendyke; the strap WI
/ hold them
- That's the scheme, shrieked Spoope
= dyke; something's got to hold them !
s 1 was as sharp as you I'd get rich hirin
;. ou. for an oyster knife. All you want
2 for somebody to sit crosslegged on yor
and come two weeks after, you are expe
d ted to be tnilor shop l Going TO fin
10 those dodgasted suspenders between no
70 aud the next war ?
Of / know they were on bis pants whe
X he put them on, unused Mrs. Spoopei
., dyke, entering upon little inductiN
I'd reasoning. He didn't take them off, an
so they must be there now. Aud ii
be good woman approached her husbau
lie with emile.
ie "Oh now they are going to be fixe'
he said Spoopendyke with horrible gril
% "P'raps you are going TO make butte
I'd holes in your hands and feet and har
ne over my shoulders amt you7 Want n
It's to put them over my head like meas
Nv shirt with two tucks aud A nounce to