South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-04-07
nit Il Nd II u M o X .


passing by; they stopped and viewed
the building very critically. The law
yer somewhat iisgrsted At their ouriosi.
~, lifted up the window. pat bis beaa
out, onl addressed them:
WHY DO ycu stand there like pack
Of biockheads, gazing a. my Office; 10
you take it for church 2
Fax answered one OF them, Il waa
thinking 50, till / saw tho devil poke his
beat cot Of the window
Old PETE's wisost remark. .Ff do
descendants Oh de rooster what crowel
ut Peter was ter make noise ebery
time lie was told, der would be sich a
noise in &c world dat yer conldn'. bear
de hens cackle.
-JonNNY's mother was reading 10
him anoGt cleanliness. In Africa che
read, 1T is dreadful to think there are
many benighIod tribes who do not know
what soap is and do not wash from one
years end TO another. ''Wiss | was
u 'nigh,ed tribe said Johnny.
A gentleman who took to medicine
late In lie said 20 a friend, You know
the old proveTb--at forty u man must
he a fool or physician ?
Yes was the reply; 'but, doctor,
don't you think lie can be both >
a Memphis dsrky stole d mule not
long ago, IN payment Of wages which
he could not collect from the oauer.-
Upon being arrested he sent for law
yer who had saved him from prison
once before when The law was after him
Tor stealing bedclo,hes. The lawyer
reminded his quondam client that a fee
was still due for services in the bed
Clothes case, and refused to help him
further until that was paid. WIN.
boss exclaimed the disconsolate darky
in last attempt to touch the LAWYER
heart, 4 stoio dat mule specially TO
sell him and pas you At last accounts
he vas still without a legal adviser.
a correspondent Of the Yonkers
Statesman Lal this 20 tell: Ny boy
Is hree years Oh. The other day |
was showing him some pictures, and in
answer TO the familiar question. Whats
that 2 1 replied, That's a crown. He
locked up, with bright smile, aud
said, Yes pnpa, know; Jacks have
crowns / was aghast, sand thought.
'ls it possible tho butler has been teach
iag The child 10 play euchre p fnal,
~ asked what hc knew about Jacks
lie said why, papa, don't you re-
member jack fell down and broke
his. crown, and Jill came tumbling al
ter
BROTHER SMITH, INTRODUCE Me-
Brother Smith what does this mean ?
" hat does what mean ? Bringing 3
niger to this church. Well, Iput him
in roy own pew Your own? Is that
any reason why you should insult the
whole congregation Z Bot he is intel
iigcnt and well educated WHO cares
for that. lie is niger. But he is a
friend Of mine What Of that? Must
you. therefore, insult the whole con-
grega,ion But he ia = christian and
tolongs to the same denomination
What DO I care for that? Let him 90
and worship wi.h his fellow niggers
BIZ, he is worth five million dollars
said Tie me,cbant.' Worth wAat?-
Five million dollars Worth five mil!
lion dollars Brother Smith, introduce
INC Toronto Globe.
why Ha FELL.-At a social oather.
ing few nights ago, at house on Aus.
tia avenue, they we're taking abou.
lucky men, when Bill Prior spoke up
AMI said that he knew man who ha5
more lucl, than General Grant.
Who is it, asked several
4. is Seth Craig, tie prosiden. Of
Temperance society in Waco, lie was
carry ms .lree or four bottles Of beer
across the street, when he fell down
with ihom, and lo didn't get hug, at
ALL
Didn't ho got en-, with the broken
glass 3 asked another oil ;be partg.
shuidoring
no he didn't. You see ho was car.
ryiug tho three or four bottles OF beer
in..le'-Teza5 siftings.
WEBSTER t>D HAYNE.-Tho Bangor
Hhly relates The following auecdote.
which is youcLcl for by Mr.. Webster
Wien De lad finished his srccca q
Southern member approached him cor
aiaI.y and snij 81, Webster, / think
sou had better die row and res, your
iame on that speech. Mr.. uayno vas
standing near and heard The remark.
ana said You ought mo-, 70 die A
man who can make such a speech ought
never fg If. (v.Istc,..l 10