The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-08-01
Early English.
A Picnic Painted In Stained Glass.
brooklyn Eagle.l

brooklyn Eagle]
Gan old woman in spectacles told me to do
the church picnic up in medival STYLE" OBJ
served the religious reporter, looking over his
notes and scratching his head obviously.
"a very clever idea," said the city editor,
nodding approvingly. 'The old woman had
some Judgment. Just lay it out as she sug-
gests and you'll have an original account of a
pious fracas."
goods wot, butye ladyes faire and ye brave
fellowes of their ilk did come from divers
places for to pic ye mic upon ye grass, and
s'blood, but they did bust ye pyes and gorge
themselves Herewith, odds bodkinsp some
thing in that line?' inquired the pious report
er. sThats pretty derned central, if it will
do"
s'No-o-o," unused the city editor ~ should
commence by saying, Now ye ladyes of ye-.'
What church was it?''
"The Tenth Baptist" replied the reporter
'but if you're going to run it in that shape,
you've got to say 'Ye ladyes of ye Tenth Bap-
tyste Kirk did make ye picnic yesterday out on
We Jamaica road in ye grove of Hans Banner
mann, goodly Dutchman of ye by'r halidom
stripe because promised to run in a puff for
Hans. How would that style suit YOU"
ssNever mind Hans" replied the city editor.
.We'll do the picnic first and Hans will drop
in naturally"
don't you neglect it," growled the pious repor-
ter. sLook here! How's this? 'Ye old times
rocks Hans Bannsrmann, did bravely on the
yesteraeh when forth there Jared from ye kirk
of ye Tenth Baptystes such goodly crowde OF
maids and matrons as ye $30 day grove OF ye
II D.. hod nnu
before. S'death' Eh How does that strike
II tell you to let Bannermann slide,'' re-
torted the city editor, angrily. "Whoop up
the picnic first Open up by saying, 'Perad-
venture few of all We seasons gay festivities
to-"
There's good place to ring in odds bodi-
kinsl'" protested the reporter. 'And say.
fby'r layde comes in somewhere, or that old
woman will snort, now you listen! She's got
to have shot if you fire Bannermann. Sup
pose we say, 'By'r layde in ye gig lamps, but
We Tenth Baptystes did do themselves proud
at Bannermann's faire parke on yester. For
goodly knights, well doubleted, and ladyes
faire, especially her in barnacles, did gayle
sport and gorge with all ye seasonable pyes, the
which,"
ssOh, give us resti'' pleaded the city edit
or. Didn't they have anything but Banner
mann and pie?"
fsNot that saw grumbled the pious re-
porter. "Why don't you let me alone? Now
here: '--ye seasonable pyes, the which, odds
bodikins'-there you get 1.-THE which, odds
bodikins, did heavy set upon ye stomachs OF ye
pic We nickers, so that their gorge arose and
they did growl and rub themselves am1dships,
until We brave Hans Bannermann, himself
host Of legions did forth straightway bring
unto them We bottle of blackberry brandy, the
which they did partake thereof and straight
way were made we'll 80 that they went forth
to their homes There you are! We can
sprinkle in 's'death and s'blood' and bye
knightly sword all through it, and you get
your medievil business pat!"
"Was that all there was to it?'' asked the
SThat's all they got" replied the pious re-
porter "There were few side dishes for
Bannermann and me, but the rest only got
blackberry brandy. Say, will that do as I've
got it?"
giving way. "Dont forget to drop in those
other things about death and blood. What
was the old womans name?"
az don't know" answered the reporter,
"but I'm going to call her Mrs. Wat Tyler"
And as the city editor turned away, the
pious reporter run in another line to the effect
that eye Hans Bannermann is all woole and
yarde wide and forty feete hygh without ye
knot. rate or woodpecker hole, as is testyfde
by all who know the same, and don't ye for
gette it!''
You can't catch the modern reporter in
matter Of literature.