The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-09-08
A MoURNFuL STORY.
The Bottom Facts About the Funeral Of the
Poor Woman. 4~ . " ..

oFoVAsyb LuytSs
"If you've got time I'd like to have you
write little something about the deceased,
said the little man, something pretty
mournful, If You please" @..@
"Who is deadr inquired the managing
editor, scratching his head and putting hi.
pen in the ink pot. "Friend Of yours ?"
"Well, yes" replied the little man, lean
Ing over the table. "She was my wife. Her
wings sprouted yesterday, and we turfsd hel
over this P. NJ. She was very superior
article Of remains, and thought I'd have
you speak q good word Of her to the public
with something about papers copying 1t a
the bottom"
"Where was the plant ?" asked the editor
trying to think for some melancholy ideas
ave set her out up in Cypress Hills" re-
piled the mourner, wiping his eyes"
Eyes"
"Oh, yes ; we had q $40 discourse and Q
$40 funeral. You might speak of the casket.
That cost $15 alone, aud there must have
been s. or $40 worth of flowers aad shrubs
and one thing or another"
~ might say she was popular and gene
rally beloved by all who knew her in life
eh ?" suggested the editor.
"You bet! And that'll make her sist q,
mad. You might say she was the hand.
soonest woman In the ward, and that there
were four carriages choke full. If you wan.
a nice piece Of descriptive, you might add
that rode on the hearse with the driver"
"An affectionste wife and mother ?" limited
the editor.
"Well," coughed the little man, "if you We
got plenty of time and room. Perhaps you
had better pay more attention to the handles
on the casket. pll show 'em to you. Gen.
uine plate !" He drew them from his
pocket. "The screws were all silver-headed
but I thought I'd better leave them"
"Was she prominent In any Of her char
liable rackets? Much In: the Sunday school
business ?" asked the editor
"Yes, some. She belonged to . gross or
two Of old women's homes, and couple o.
dozen children's temperance societies, but
that didn't cut much figure at the funeral.
You might speak of the number present and
say that several friends of the remains were
jammed about considerable trying to get q
good sight Of her. We showed at the house
and at the grave, and though I say 1t myself,
think the coffin plate was generally ad-
mired." .0.-.
"Then she was worthy, Chr istian
woman, charitable and kindly disposed, and
departed sincerely mourned by = large circle
of friends" .. ...
"Oh, yes," sighed the bereaved." 81 have
lost money on the headstone, cost SIS, and
lost $40 to my brother-in-law betting tha.
the hearse could beat the mourner's carriage
to the first toll gate on the old road coming
home. I'd like to have it known that did
the fair thing, though I don't care to look
like l was blowing about the expense" -
"Did she leave any children?''
"Yes; oh, yes! she left 'em. They went
with her as far as the grave. 1t stood me In
SIT to fit them. out with grief for the
occasion. But don't begrudge 1t. When
spend money calculate to get the worth
it, and nobody hears me complain. !
paid SIS for the clothes she was shoveled
under in" s.. 80.
"Did she leave any property ?' '.....
"A couple of houses and lots; but you
needn't mention them. Just speak OF 1t u
the social event of the season In funeral
circles, in which no expense was spared tc
make it gratifying success, an'you'll hit /,
about even. The neighbors are all watch
ing for the paper; and you'll make little
something out Of 1t yourself If you do thu
right thing. You might say In to-day,
paper that the notice will appear tomorrow
so as to advertise it little," and the pros
trated husband put on his hat and bu ttonet
up his coat. ,,.as,a ..,.-s-..f -...-' ...t.
And the managing editor wrote simple
touching little tribute to the m EN- ory Of th
woman whose qualities were buried unde
her funeral bills, and the prostrated hus
band showed 1t around, explaining that b,
couldn't imagine how the paper got hold o
the facts unless it was that reporter wa
present disguised as one of the "frisnds o
the remains" t.s.. ...a'ue..u.