The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1882-06-03
81 An advertising bulls due and payable after
WIT AND WISDOM.

The ladder of fame is free to all,
but to many itislike climbing CREASED
pole, one foot up, then slip back three.
A LAWYER is about the only man that
ever made anything by opposing a
womans will.-Yonkers Statesman.
WHY do elderly spinsters have pre-
objection for psrrots2 Well, they have
no man about the house, and they want
something round that can swear.
"BY shimminy, how dot poy studies
grammar" was the remark of Ger
man when his son called him knock
kneed, pigeon-toed, seven-sided, glaze.
eyed son of a saw-horse."
"WHY do you suppose Rev. johnson
Reed is always driving over to Smith
Ills wife says he goes over to admire
the beauty Of the place." was the reply.
Yes, but does his wife know the beau
ty of the place is . young widow"
A MINISTERIAL Richmond, Va, recent
ly swooned while marrying his old
sweetheart to another man. If his part
of the ceremony made him swoon, what
nerve the man who was married must
have had to stand up under it.-Boston
Post.
PiUTE John, of Empire, Nevada, was
recently bereaved by the loss of his
wife. He swung her body over his
shoulder and went to the foothills,
where he buried the remains in O,
hole about two feet deep, covering the
grave with pile of powders. He re-
turned to the lodge and ioyously select
ed shapely squaw, to whom he was
immediately married.
WAS there ever a better example of
the witty and concise from an express
sion common to the real western Ameri-
can, than the answer Of the Sierras,
who, when asked about the character
OF neighbor, sententiously replied:
mister, don't know very much about
him, but my impression is that he'd
makes first-class stranger"
ONCE upon time woman died,
and as the mourners were carrying her
to the grave, they tripped against a
stump and let the coffin fall. She re-
viyed, having been only in deep
trance. Two years after she really
died, and AZ they were carrying her
down the same road and neared the
same stump the disconsolate widower
sobbed: Steady, boys, steady there.
Be very, very careful.
LAST Sunday evening Boston di-
vine suddenly paused somewhat near
the close of his sermon, and said: ave
would all be glad if that young man in
Alt.N L. l.
satisfy himself whether she is, or is
not here. That would be much better
than keeping half-inch draft on the
i.-------''ia- af tha nav" And in the
groSataes ~~-l5 bara a saf,rd .artsida n
ola retreat of any army with Banners
Christian at Work. B.
A MAN in asleeping-car on an Eastern
railroad kept people awake two
hours by propounding, about bedtime,
the query: "What is the best thing to
brush a hat withP ?" And the whole
crowd stayed awake and guessed, and
one man who came to his station, and
had to get off without hearing the ans
wer, felt awfully. And, finally, after
they had all given it up, the questioner
thought the best thing to brush hat
with was hat brush. And ii was pain
full to witness the disgust Of the crowd.
TWAS a sultry aud muggy day, but
the agent, wiping the perspiration from
his low. but somewhat manly brow, and,
throwing his linen duster back, began:
Madam, is your husband about?"
| @Yes, he's about; but / tend to all
| agents that show themselves about here.
What is it2" I'm introducing a thresh-
ing machine in this neighborhood,
; and" "Not in this neigbborhood, you
amt if / know it. Pm competent to
, do all the thrashing that's needed on
this farm. You ask my boys, Bill and
Sam, and if you don't believe them, ask
: my man Just over in the lot there" and
slight advance that she made in his
7. direction suggested to him that he had
a better move on before she tried her
power on him.
{. WHEN the Legislature convened last
/ winter, a member of the Third House,
. who was anxious TO make personal nc
quaintRnce and to discover what sort of
men he had to handle, was introduced
to member from the wilderness dis
trict, and he straightway began to
throw out feelers.
: Il presume you will take an active
! part.in the present session. he que
. ried.
well, ! dunno" was the reply.
: SAre you pledged? p"
Not to speak OF"
Have you any particular policy
mapped outP'
! Eyes, sort O. policy. Durin' the
: first week shallsupport all motions TO
| adjourn; durin' the next, j shall move
to amend, aud after that l shall be
! guided by circumstances. Some Of
: our folks think I'm an orator, and some
\ of 'em say Tn sfool, and I've got "a
take sort O. middle course and CON.
. vince both ACKNOWLEDGMENT Free
? Press