The Worthington advance., 1882-09-28
YOUNG MEN.

Qk5tutO 1uult AuU&As. 4,
III Fl %.< YOUNG MEN. a -. =.
Mr.. Thistlehotl's Disgust at their Alb
surd Dress
Burlington Hawkeye. ~ate 80 81
7. Old Mr.. Thistlepod climbed up the
broad stairway of marble and rosewood
leading to the high backed, Queen-Anne
editorial rooms of the Hawkeye, (the
best advertising medium west Of the
Mississippi, and the most popular paper
in the world, now is the time to make up
c'ubs,> yesterday morning. His heavy
tread fell noiselessly upo,. the Pompa-<
dour velvet carpets, and, rs he sank into
IL costly escritoire, the perfumed light
fell through the stained glass tantmieux
at the facade Of the managing editors
ebranlement-de-cnur, and touched the
old mans face with softenet OrmOlu,
that seemed like on echo from the state
ly renaissance that looked down upon
the walls. Carefully moving the elegant
Louis Quinze passepartout where the old
man could not tip it over with his feet, if
| after his usual habit he should choose 10
rest them on the carved mauvais .sniet,
the editor asked the honest tiller Of the
| soil how were crops III the Flint River
! country. 49, . &~@e -. -
"Crops?" echoed the old man. "Wcl,
now =! want to tell you about crops.
Corn's all right, an oats was better'n us
got Il crop of fools in Burlington that'll
inst Law nvor 0nv rvrooN thSnv tho& <,,..>r
| drwcl the cows in the state of Iowa"
The managing editor was surprised,
and said he hadn't heard such intempcr-
ate talk since the prohibition canvass.
tic added that there were some fools in
Burlington, he had heard, but as they
were not subscribers to the Hawkeye, he
didn't know much about them, and felt
very little interest III them.
"Why, the town is full of 'em,'
shouted Mr.. Thistlepod, who labors un
der the impression that he can't be
heard unless he talks very loud.
"tlow can you tell they're fools?"
askcdthc society editor.
by their clothes" waved the old man,
and the society editor slid as far as he
could under the table, and then laid his
more easily. "By their clothes" re.
peatcd the sturdy old agriculturist.
10y gaul If 4 boy Of mine 'uz to dress
like the young icllcrs | see in this town,
I'd beat some sense into him with
q neck-yokc: Why, it's edik'lus, tell
ye it's rctlik'lus. | see young chap
down in the countin' room with u pair O.
trousers OH him tiylltcr'n candle moulls
Il hope to die II didn't think he'd
stuck his laiss into :. couple O. snake.
skins: N his coat-by jockeies, it
wasn't hardly long enouyh ii to cover his
snspendcrs; it wasn't, | s;yallny M it
tit him closter than his undcrsliirt, anil
his shirt collar sawed his ears every
time he turned his head, m he wore his
watcli-cllain outside his coat An he
Wore Il flat hat, with II round top, about
us big us a cooky An his shoes! Pint
ed, .lo ye know, pintcd like toothpicks,
N they were as long as pickaxes 10
see him sklppin' around in that git-up,
lookll' more like 4 monkey nor Il white
man, y gaul. it made me mad, m swan
| wanted TO lick him. J. declare [ did.
They's no sense III Christian man max
IN srcl, an o;1t!andis!, spectacle of him
self, an if / ever kc1ch my boy dressed
mp N any such 4 dog roncGt, rcdick'lu
absurd, disgustin' fashion. Ill be ga,I-
sswizzled if !--llello, Jasper, are ye wait
ln' fur mc?"
And saying goodbye, Mr. TIist'cpod
accompanied his son down stairs to the
wagon. As the old man turned to 90 he
d!u not III the least resemble the "yutuy
iclicr' down in the counting room The
big felt hat he wore had originally been
OF some color, but that was years ago.
The blue merino band, seWed on with
black thread. was too loose, and a twine
string tied tight around it caused the
lat to bulge out above the band like the
dome Of u mosque. The hickory shirt
J fastened ut the collar in severe simpDi-
city with q big horn button, scorned a
collar of any kind. The roomy, brown
vest had four white bone buttons and .
black shaw!-pin, and through the irrey-
| nlar reticutations of its much-abrailed
| back the solitary suspender showed,
| resol,1tely clinging to button aft and a
nail forwari. The baggy blue trousers
swelied out below the Tapping vest into
an ample dome, strangely creased and
feari''lly wrinkled, breaking, as the old
man walked, into awful billowy bulges
and humps, while one long,
deep, diagonal crease showed where tie
trus:y suspenler, hauled taut from port
to starboar1, held everything fast on the
quarter. Farther down they bagsed ia
great, curving billows at the knees, and
wrinkled behind; they were brief, and
came to an untimcly end about four
| inches before they reached the top of
| the shoes, and they ended abruptly:
same size all the way down, and sawed
! square off across the ends. The shoes
| were not exactly pointed at the toes. and
when the old mans feet were not in
them you couldn't bet which way the
toes were pointed. Jasper was attired
i'll like manner as his father, only being
a much taller man, his trousers were cor.
rcspondingly shorter. AS they passed
through the aesthetic decorations of the
counting-room, the man in the lean pants
!a"g he'd sneeringly, and Nj. Thistiepod
@"she3 tauntlngly: The managing edi-
fleur-de-terre.
| II am afraid" he sighed, wcariv.
others clothes"
The Wcalthicst Man in Mexico.
| Villadama, Mexico, letter to St. Louis Re.
| publican.
! From Nuovo Laredo on the Rio
Grande to the Solado River the ride is
devoid OF interest, and during it the best
thing to do is to recllne comfortably in
one of the airy coaches and sleep.
Southwest Of the Solado q table.land some
$500 feet high may be seen. The sides
are rocky and almost perpendicular, the
top level and covered here and there
with forests Of timber. The table land,
or mesa as it is styled by the Mexicans,
has i surface area of 100000 acres. 1t is
owned by Patricia Milmo, an Irishman
married in a Mexican family, the veal
thiest man in Mexico, worth, am in