The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-04-05
At the Gore Factory.
Woman with Her Boy Calls for Certain
Information.
brooklyn Eagle.l

lbTOOklyn Eagle'I
The other day a stout woman, armed with
an umbrella and leading a small urchin,
called at the post office of the New York boys
story paper.
SIS this the place where they fight 1ndiaDs?"
she inquired of the gentleman in charge.
"Is this the locality where the brave boy
charges up the canyon and speeds a bullet t
the heart of the dusky red-skin?" and she
ierked the urchin around by the ear, and
brought her umbrella down on the desk.
"We publish stories for boys" replied the
young man evasively.
81 want to know If these are the premises
on which the daring lad springs upon his
fiery mustang and, darling through the circle
of thunderstruck savages, cuts the captive
cords and bears him away before the wonder
ing Indians have recovered from their aston-
ishment! That's the information I'm after.
1 want to know If that sort of thing is perpetra-
ted herei and she swung the umbrella
around her head and launched crack at the
young mans head.
81 don't remember those specific acts" pro-
tested the young man.
ST want to know if this is the precinct
where the adventurous boy jumps on the back
of buffalo and with unerring aim picks OFF
one by one the Dloodthirsty pursuers who bite
the dust at every crack of his faithful rifle!
I'm looking for the place where this sort OF
I QluS uapp6US! AuQ Julb tIu16 bu0 UrUuSub
the unlucky young man tremendous whack
across the back.
81 think" commenced the lodging VIC
tim.
"I'm in search of the shop in which the boy
road agent holds the quiverng stage driver
robs the male passengers with an adroitness
born of long and tried experience, and kisses
the hand of the lady passengers with gallan-
try of bearing that bespeaks noble birth and
IL ID Tho
driving the young man in the corner. "I'm
looking for the apartment in which the bus
mess is transactedi' and down came the um-
brella with triphammer force on the young
mans head.
"Upon my soul, ma'am-!" gasped the
81 want to be introduced to the jars in
which you keep the boy scouts of tue Sierras
Show me the bins full of the boy detectives of
the prairie. Point out to me the barrels full of
boy pirates of the Spanish main?" and with
each demand she dropped the umbrella on the
young mans skull, until he skipped over the
desk and sought safety in neighboring can
yon.
''I'll teach 'em!' she painted, grasping the
urchin by the ear and leading him off. "Pll
teach 'em to make it good or dance. Want to
60 fight Indians any more? Want to stand
proudly upon the pinnacle of the mountain and
scatter the plain beneath with the bleeding
bodies of unconnted slain? Want to say 'hlstH
in a tone that brooks no contradiction? Pro-
pose to spring upon the traffraIl and with
ringing word of command send broadside
into richly laden galley, and then mercifnl-
~ spare the beautiful maiden in the cabin
that she may become your bride? Oil Going
to do it any more?'
With each question she hammered the yelp-
ing urchin until bis bones we're sore and he
protested his permanent abandonment of all
the glories enumerated.
'Tben come along" said she, taking him by
the collar "Let me catch you around with
any more ramrods and carving knives, and
you'll think the leaping, curling, resjstless
prairie fire has swept with ferocious roar of
triumph across the trembling plains and
lodged in your pantaloons to stayp'