davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
Simply a Common Liar.


''Old b." says that some years ago,
in Carolina town, a crazy man was
brought before the examining board to
settle the question as to whether or not
he should be sent to the asylum in Col
umbia. After the doctor got through
with his examination. one of the COM
mittee, an old farmer. said:
my friend did you ever borrow any
bags or jugs?'
t'Yes, lots of them"
Ibid you ever borrow your neighbor' s
newspaper
Eyes, many time"
.'Well, now, what became of the jugs.
bags and newspapers?''
s'Why, | carried them all back
The old farmer gave a blow almost
as loud as Nancy Harris whistle, and
said:
Gentlemen. he's no lunatic; just
simply common liar, and all the asy-
lumS in the world won't cure man %
iyinr.n
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

| From the Tariff Commission argument OF Thos. g.
Shearman.
In the first place we will answer the oft
repeated question: What kind of tariff
| could free traders propose that would not
be protective and yet raise as much reve-
nue. as ought to be raised by tariff
The commissioners viii please note that we
do not propose to answer the kquestion,
''Howscan money be raised by non pro-
tective tariff which shall be sufficient to
meet all the government expensesf" Those
expenses are so large that the necessary
sum would hardly be raised by any tariff.
We do not feel called upon to burden bur
de- ourselves with the preparation of any
tariff scheme which would relieve home
made whisky from taxation. We believe
thatathe mass of the American people,
whether free traders OF protectionists. are
heartily agreed that so long as imported
sugar is taxed seventy per cent, home
made whisky and tobacco shall not 60 free.
We therefore assume that the present in
ternal revenue taxes should be substantially
continued. and shall only allow for re-
ducticn IN the internal revenue of $50, 600.
600 to $4,000, 600 at the least. The sur
plus revenue for the current year cannot,
as we areadvised, be less than $3.50. OOO, 900,
and no one pretends to put it at less than
$3.50, 600, 600. We maintain, therefore,
that the tariff should be cut down by at
least $780, 000.O0 which would leave
only $6s, 000. 900 to be raised in this man
ner. This revenue should be raised by
duties upon eight articles, of which only
one would be in any reasonable sense
protective duty. These articles are sugar,
Gncluding molasses). coffee. tea, cocoa. in
toxicating liquors. fruits and spices. These
articles would be divided into eleven
Il = knhI Oh yTrxfR
the amount Of each imported in the fiscal
year ending June 80, 1881, and the amount
of revenue which would be produced by q
duty somewhat lower than is now imposed
upon each, except in the case of articles
which are now admitted free of duty for
the sole purpose of maintaining enormous
protective duties on other articles. We
give the figures only in round thousands of
dollars
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
Birds That Observed the Sabbath.

A correspondent of the Selma Gala
Times has come to the conclusion that
one pair of birds at least observed the
Sabbath day and kept it holy. He says:
"A pair of hooking birds were very
busy building nest on the swinging
Dough of an oak tree that grows very
near my room window. At dusk Satur-
day the nest was about finished. Yes
terday Sunday sat by the window
reading most of the day, and could
plainly see the nest and its builders
During the whole day not one stroke of
work did they do on it. They hoped
and flew about, chirped and sang, but
no work for them. They were keeping
the Sabbath. This morning (Monday)
bright and early, looked out and then
they were flying to and fro, carrying
straws, sticks, and bits of cotton, as
busy as bees. Strange, wasn't it?''
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
About Peanuts.

For the ten years 187O-1SSO, the pea
nut crop in this country was 100000
bushels, 100000 from Tennessee, 3,
200, 900 from Virginia, and 700, 600 from
North Carolina. The crop last year was
1920, coo bushels, and the average price
pounds to the bushel. 1t is the retailer
sometimes as low as 3 or cents a
pound, but the consumer finds no
abatement in the price of his measure
of nuts. At cents pound, buslIel
win bring S1.54, which, peddled out at
10 cents Pint. brings in SO. 40, or at 8
cents pint $500 fair profit to the
curbstone dealer.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
The Dandelion.

Those who have been pestered TO
death by the irrepressible dandelion on
their lawns may now take heart. The
pest will poster themno more. Eastern
markets have begun to utilize them for
greens, SO that gardeners cultivate them
for sale. The plant having thus be-
come useful, the bugs will eat it of
above ground, the grub will saw its
roots IN two, the sun viii parch it to
death, the rains will drown it out, the
rain viii thrash it to strips, and the boys
viii dig it out and steal it. Thus the
dandelion which has been among the
first of the weeds to coax its way into
favor in the spring by throwing out its
golden blossom as sort of flag of truce
and peace offering combined, will retire
from the field and the lawn to the se>
clusion of the guarded greenhouse.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

The completed figures of the post Office
business for the fiscal year show that the
increase of the revenues has been $5,091.-
OLE over those of the previous year, while
the addition of the expenses was but $780,
80s This increased expenditure was
due to the rapid development of the rail-
road system. The gross excess of receipts
over expenditures is 81, 1886, IT'S, from
which there should be deducted outstand-
ing liabilities to the amount of about $780,
600. The number of post offices estab.
lished and re-established during the fiscal
year 1882 was 3, 1853; officers discontinued,
1,481; new postmasters' bonds issued
1.5(9.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

It is reported there is great and inereas-
ing dissatisfaction among the German peo-
pie, and that large numbers are now pre-
pairing to emigrate to this country, We
trust their coming may be delayed until the
dissatisfaction of German republicans can
be healed. Moline Dispatch
That is to say, as long as the Germans
voted the republican ticket they were
heartily welcome, but now they are getting
their eyes open to the true inwardness of the
republican party, it is hoped by the party
that has deceived them for number Of
years that their emigration to this country
"may be delayed y. Perhaps this is pre-.
lnde to the cry: 1.-THE Germans must go.s
Who knowsf
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
THE STAR ROUTE AFFAIR.
WHAT THE ATTORNEY GENERAL CLAIMS

WHAT THE ATTORNEY GENERAL CLAIMS.
I WASHINGTON, Oct. 16.-The attorney
general stated on Saturday that important
arrests on the Star route bribery matter
will be made soon. and among them two
persons in the department of justice who
were used as spies by the defense and who
were deeply implicated in attempts to cor
rupt the jurors; also that the defeuse, hav-
ing been informed of the governments con-
templated action, won very shortly
furnish an article to the press, disclosing
facts that have long been within the
knowledge of the defendants. and take
credit before the public of being the expos
ers OF wrong doing. The article in question
was furnished last night by such papers as
would agree to publish the same in full
The document is being prepared by clever
attorneys, and its spirit and purposes are
to aid Star route people by forestalling the
actiong of the government in making the
contemplated arrests, and to cause the
public to think that the efforts to bring the
guilty to justice proceeded from the de-
fense..9
MERRICK's STATEMENT CONCERNING THE
ALLEGED DISCLOSURES.
I When asked whether he had ANYTHING
TO say in reference to the affidavits pub
lishede this morning in connection with the
Star Route jury bribery affair, Merrick
said in his opinion it was beneath the dig
Rity of q Government counsel to engage
in q newspaper discussion of the matter at
this time. The whole subject was under in
vestigation and IN two or three days he ex
pected special counsel would make a re
port. Meanwhile any attempt to FORE
stall public opinion would be unsuccess-
full
He said that without doubt attempt
had been made, with more or less success,
to force upon the Governments service
corrupt men with an object to damaging
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
he Thought be was Boss.
BY n. L. CHARLES.

Joe Blade mas lived single for thirty-one years,
Butnow hedecided totake him wife,
Which lie did with all promptness, untroubied
OF possible end to the peace of his life.
But soon he discovered that many loose ways,
Which in days of freedom had carelessiy
Were dlspi as.ng to her who should brighten
And must now be abandoned else live in "a
storm.
He called on an old boon companion one day
Tom waynor his name-and he told hiin'his
grief.
THAI is nothing" said Tom, "for all wives
And the most of them freely express their
belief
ssIf you are in doubt that my statement is true,
Wen start out at once, and will give Il test
We will call at each house and find out by
If the wife las an influence over the rest.
~with every man we can find on the way
Whose wife has no influence, cow will
If you will permit all those under her sway
The small gift of an egg from your hand to
receive"
All day they labor, and many a man
Accepted his egg with courteous bow;
But not one, when brought under the test CT
Could be found who was worthy of taking
cow.
Their final attempt was made just before night.
Approaching house, an old man they espied,
II presume you re the owner, - said Tom. ''Anl
] al rightr'
.sYes, stranger, I'm boss of this RANCH" he
replied.
You're bosse So you're single. take it.
said joe
''No, indeed I've been married for twenty
five years,
But, betwixt you and me, would have you to
know,
No woman can ever lead me by the ears"
Said Joe you're the man we've been seek
ing since morn
See. here two cows: come take which
you Please"
On examining them both he preferred the
si.ort horn.
But continued: "Just wait till speak to
Louise.
my wife doesn't like the old short horn at ALL"
He said on returning; ''your pardon beg;
But Ii now take the brindle, although she is
small"
''No you WON'T" says Tom Waynor, Joe,
give him his egg!
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

1t has been clearly established by the
evidence presented at London police
courts that the penny dreadfuls," or
cheap novelettes, of which boy high
waymen are the heroes, have produced
an abundant crop of young thieves,
who have only initiated the adventures
described with devilish ingenuity by the
romance writer's.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
THE SEASONS BoNxxrs.
The Shapes that are Worn and How TAsy are
Trimmed.

From the Philadelphia Times
Never were bonnets and hats so suscep-
tible of being extremely plainor elaborate
ly garnished. Many 'of the materials used
for covering frames. care trimmings + in
themselves, and hats with crowns, brims,
or both, formed of embossed velvet or
ribbed plush, or moleskin, do not require
any other garnishing, exeePt the inevitable
cluster Of tips. or perhaps the tropical
bird, while bonnets of plain goods are
trimmed with folds OF velvet OF plush,
which must be secured with handsome Or
naments and the additional dnishings of
piumes, tips, breasts and Wings or entire
birds.
The fashionable shapes are most difficult
to define. To say that they are queer con-
yeys world of meaning. Lassssy easaahe
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
sTALwART STATE sTEALINGs.
FEARFUL INCREASE OF STATE TAXATION

The following table shows the tax levy
for state purposes for nine years, from
1878 to 1891. 1t will be seen that the levy
for 1881, when the state was entirely out
of debt, is just double what it was in 1874,
when very large amount of old state
bonds were yet unpaid, and large sum
was demanded TO meet the interest and
principal:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

The only way by which capital can
increase is by saving. If you spend az
much as You get. you viii never be rich
81 than you are,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
FROZEN FACTS.
Robeson's Republican Ring Robberies.

The annual appropriations for ten fiscal
years, as officially reported by the treasury
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17
A FREE TRADE Tariff.
Cut This Out and Show Your Neighbors What
Fres Traders Demand. ~

Free IRON, Free LUMBER FrssE cleshines IRA
Books.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

Average for ten years. .S15s $50, o5s
/ This years appropriation, as stated by
the chairman of the senate committee:
ss-Robesonan Congress-............ $2s4 2as O94
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-17

their case. 1t was a circumstance worthy
of remark that every one of the jurors,
who it is alleged were corruptly approach
ed. voted for the acquittal of some of the
defendants.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1882-09-02
The Butcher.
and sounC

A butcher 10 a man who wears an
apron like that of 3 bsrkeeper
When you ask him for porter. house
steak he produces q bone that looks
as il belonged to a mastodon, with a
little meat hanging to it. He hooks
this bone on to his badly adjusted
scales, swings himself on il, and yells
"five poundsl" You pay for five
pounds of meat, but you only carry
off three pounds of bone and six
ounces of meat. Aud the worst of II
is, you do not get all of that, for he
proceeds to chop off the bone, which
he keeps, and afterwards sells 1t 20 u
hotel to make soup out of. That's
the kind of pnilanthropist some
butchers are.
There are some butchers not quite
so enthusiastic. They dc not swing
themselves clear off the floor when
they weigh. meat. They only keep
q hand as big as y canvass covered
han. on themeat to prevent it
from blowing off the scales. In law
and equity, you are entitled to the
butchers band along with the meat,
tor you have bought it and paid for
it, but he never delivers the goods.
He needs that hand in his business.
1t 10 so handy in weighing. He sells
that hand at eight or ten cents q
pound fsrty times day, but he al
ways keeps 1t on hand, as it were, it
being so useful in making change,
and In removing customer Who
wants to have the meat weighed over.
The butcher can be very sarcastic
If he tries. Possibly his trade has
something to do with his making
cutting remarks. Besides, he is n
man of brains. hayIng more on hand
than he has any use tor, which may
account for the fact that he is never
sent to Congress or the Legislature.
We may mention right here, in-
cidently, in closing these remarks,
that they do not apply u all butchers,
but principally to THE enc We have
the most to do with -Tsras Stftsags.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1882-09-02
An Extraordinary ORer.

There are q number Of persons ou. OF en-
ployment in very coGnty-yet energetic men
willing to work 10 not need TO he. Those
willing TO work can make from 500 to $500 a
month clear, working for us in pleasant and
permanent business. The amounts that our
agents make varies some making a. high as
$500 month. while others as low as 500, all
depending on the energy of the agent. We
have an article Of great a <sJt. 1t should be
sold to every house-ovner. an pays over 100
per cent proft Each sale is from 50 90 20
$40. One agent In Pennsylvania sold 80 in
two days, and Gle ued s64. An age 4 in New
York made $4s in one day. Any man with
energy enough TO work full day, and will do
this through the year, can make from $1,000
TO 90 900 year. We only want one man Ia
each county. and 70 him will give the exclu-
sive sale ss long as he continues to work
and nathing like our Invention msde. Parties
having from 5000 to 81 900 to invest. can OBJ
tain q general agency for ten counties or .
State Anyone can make an investment OF
from S25 to 81 200 without the least risk Of
10 8. as our Circulars will show that those in
vestihg $2s can after 80 days trial return
the goods unsold to us. and get their money
back, II they do not clear OF least 500. They
show that General Agent who will take ten
counties and invest $2l6 can after trial of
90 days return all goods unsold to US and get
their money returned to them II they fail to
cl, ar at least $3.50 in thst ime. We are not
paying salaries, but want men willing TO
work and obtain as their pay the pIohts OF
their energy. Men not willing to work on our
terms will not work on any. Those meaning
business will receive our large descriptive cir
cular, and extraordinary offer by enclosing .
tn Go cent stamp, with heir address. The
first to comply with our terms will secure the
eounty or counties they may wish to work.
Address. RRSsER MANUFAcTuBINa Co.,
llS Smithfield Street. Pittsburgh, Pa.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1882-09-02

A mule team with wagon with
locked wheels was carrying 4,7O0
pounds of powder along the line of
the Southern Pacific road, in New
Mexico, the other day, and the driver
finding it necessary TO unlock the
wheels, pounded the chain with 9
stone. He and comrade who was
assisting him suddenly dissppea red,
the mule team was strung in strips
along the road, aud hole fifteen feet
deep markes the spot whore the wag-
on had been.
Several weeks ago Q Chinamsn,
named Chin Ah Sing, was arrested In
San Francisco, for unlswfully carry
ing . weapon concealed on his person.
He was convicted and sent to Jail.
Believing that one Wong All Bo"
had caused his arrest by "giving him
away" to the officers, he met that in
dividual in Sullivsn's alley last night
and fred shot from 9 revolver at
him, but did net wound him. After
the shooting he ran away, but was
pursued and arrested by Detective
Cox and Officers NJ. Sullivan and
Kennedy, VII" locked him up for as
sAult to murder.
A Colorado CORES pondent of an
Iowa paper is responsible for the
following. "Bill Nuckells, q pros
psctor, tell down prospect shaft
ferty feet deep, right into 9 nest OF
blscksnskes. Most men would have
died of fright, but Nuckells was moi
that sort OF man. He tied severa
snakes together and started them uF
the side Of the shaft, tying fresh
snake on as fast rs the rest went up
Pretty soon the head OF the snakes
got over the edge aud started dowr
hill. Nuckells kept tying on rep
tiles until he had used up = couple OF
hundred-every snake there was II
the shaft. BY this time the crowd o
snakes on the GU side was strong
enough to pull him out of the shat
and he reached Mead's ranch saf'
and sound.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1882-09-02
NERVOUS DEBILITY.
A SURE CURE GUARANTEED.

nR.E E. G. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN
Dtreatment. a specific for Hysteria. Dizzi.
ness, Commissions, Nervous Headache, Mental
depression, Loss OF Memory, Spermatorhoea,
lmpotency, involuntary emissions, premature
ola age, caused by over-exertion. self abuse,
or over INDULGENCE, which leads to misery,
decay a "A death One box will cure recent
cases Each oox contains one months treat.
lnent: on dollar box, or six boxes for five
dollars; sent by ,vail prepaid on receipt of
prics. W. gisraI, &c six boxes to cure any
case. With each order received by us for six
boxes. accompanied with Ave dollars, we will
send the purchaser our written guarantee to
return the money II the treatment does not
fret cure. Guarantees issued only by
O. +. RICHARDS & CO.
wholesale Druggists, 427 h 429 Sansome st.
0rders by mail at regular pricer. s. +.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1882-09-02
Glad to Meet q Gentleman.

"May l open the window for you,
missl" politely inquired gentleman
off young lady on the Northern
Pacific road, az he saw her tugging
at Q sash that had not yet recovered
from the preceding winter. She
glared at him moment, and gave u
reluctant consent.
"Folks cAn't be too careful who
they speak to or accept favors FROM"
she remarked after loag pa, sc.
"That is very true" replied the
gentleman quietly.
"Are you Boston drummera" she
inquired.
"No, am not" he answered.
"a hotel clerka"
"No, not hotel clerk"
N am glad of that" said she; ~
never let hotel clerk or q drummer
speak to me. Maybe you are an
actor2"
mo, not an actor"
"That's first -classl" she exclaimed
showing her dimples and becoming
more and more confidential. "If an
actor should speak to me, I'd die
What is your business"
"I'm barkeeper, and Tn travel
ing West to get a Territorial divorce
from my wife, explained the ger
tleman.
"Oh I'm so glad !" glggled the girl
"Reach down my satchell; there's .
bottle of whisky and pack OF card'
in it. I'll play you an odd game o.
California Jack for $5 a cornerl
like to meet a gentleman, and know
'em when see 'em. Ask that bald
headed duffer across there If he'> O."
q corkscrew, will you. - Drdke't
Travellers Magazine.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1882-09-02
MIDDLE-AGED MEN.

There are many at the age of thirty TO six
ty who are troubled with too frequent evacu-
ation+ of the bladder, often accompanied by
a slight smarting or burning sensation and q
weakening of the system In q manner that the
patient cannot account for. On examining
tse urinary deposits g ropy sediment will Of
ten be found, and sometimes small Particles
OF albumen will appear, or the color will be
of q thin milkish hue. again changing to 9
dark ana torpid appearance. There are many
men who die of this difficulty, ignorant of
the cause. which is tine second stage of semi
nal weakness. DIR. s will guarantee g per-
feet cure in all such cases, and healthy re-
storstion 0f the genito- urinary organs.
Office Hours-10 to 4 and to 8. Sundays,
from 10 to IL Q. m. Consultation free. Thor
ough examination and advice, IS.
Call or address
DIR, SPHNNEY d. co.
fb1s-tf No. II Kesrny Street. San Francisco.