The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-07-26
Wit and Wisdom.

Wit and Wisdom.
A hand of Arizona Indians recently captured
a wagon-load of patent medicines, taking the
contents of the bottles for new kind of drink.
When they got settled down again, SO they
could collect their thoughts and reason, they
concluded that they had made no error. 1t
was new kind of drink. And II the White
men of that region had got SO they could use
that kird of beverage and like it, there was no
use for the Indian to try to extermlnate them.
Boston Post.
The light running domestic" Sewing
Machine stands at the head. u Elm street.
It is to be doubted whether he will ever find
his way to heaven who desires to go thither
alone.
Before starting off for the summer get a
bottle of German Corn Remover. 1t will pay
you. 25c.
Sir George says he don't wonder his sweet
hear, is afraid of lightning-she's SO awfully
attractive.
Making q Raise.
John Hays, Credit, P. O., says that for nine
months he could not raise his hand to his head
through lameness in the shoulder, but by the
use of THOMAS EoLEcTRIc on he was entire
~ cured
Only 1872 out of 200 exchanges looked over
yesterday contained the sentence: 'The war
cloud darkens in the East" The other eight
journals had to hold it over on account of be-
ing presented with watermelons.- Free
Press.
Is your scalp full of dry, husky scales and
little pimples? Dr. Bensons Skin Cure will
cleanse your scalp and remove all scales and
tenderness within six days. Try it, for it is
the best head-dressing ever used. 81 per pack
age, at all druggists
A new fashion in earrings copies the styles
worn by Cleopatra, who bit herself with an
asp, and died before the war. When Cleo
dressed to "mash" Antony she wore pair OF
earrings which cost over half million dollars.
If this is the style now introduced, more than
| one editors wife will have to worry along
| another year without pair of Cleopatra ear
| rings. -Norristown Herald.
| Wheat Bitters reach every part of the hu-
man body, through the blood. Do not fail to
| give them trial.
Alderman OFlannelmouth-"Be keerful,
Mrs. O'Toole, an don't let any won see me.
| fur it's all the prominent people what's get
| ting shot at
| That weak back or pain in the sides or hips
YOU will find Immediately relieved when Hop
Plaster is applied. 1t strengthens the mus
Giles, giving the ability to do hard work with
out suffering. Take none but this, tits sure.
"Mamie said he, and his voice was singu-
larry low, twill you be my wife? Will you
cling to me as the tender vine clings to the"
Eyes, I'll catch on" said she.
Not an alcoholic beverage, but a true and
reliable family medicine is Browns Iron Bit
tiers.
Actions, looks, words, steps, form the steps
by whic h we may spell characters.
MONTHS of nausea are spared to women who
use Healy's Vegetable Tonic Cordisl; it helps
mObDGT anu CullQ. 00o dQNts OA bniS taSOs
CEPHAL1NE relieves at once Hysteria. Ner-
vous Spasms, and St. Vitus Dance.
A Muscatine, Iowa, father is much exercised
to know how his daughter discovered that
eating warm maple sugar makes gentlemen's
mustaches scratchy.
Digestion and assimilation are perfected in
all cases by wheat Bitters," the great blood,
brain and nerve food.
Mother-''Now, Gerty, be good girl, and
give aunt Julia kiss and say good night"
Gerty-"No no! if kiss her she'll box my
ears, like she did papa's last night
1t does not cure everything but kidney
troubles and many other complaints to which
flesh is heir yield gracefully to the life-giving
properties constituting Hop and Malt Bitters
People who have become discouraged should
resort to this new remedy.
In two years a boy can learn as much Latin
as he can forget in six months after be goes to
work for living.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate for Alcohol
ism.
DIR. P. P. GILMARTIN, Detroit, Mich.
saws 1T have found it very satisfactory in its
effects, notably in the prostration attendant
upon alcoholism.
Plump girls are said to be going out of fash
ion. If this is true, the plumper the girl the
| simmer her chancs.
The public lacks not genuine remedy for
| skin diseases in GLENN's SULPHUR SOAP.
eHILL's HAIR Dye black or brown, fifty
| cents.
When Jones' boy was kicked out of a saloon
| by his father, he remarked that there appeared
| to be an active temperance movement on foot.
We are persuaded That the ancient Hermes
with all the su tie art and natural resources of
the Alchemists, was very poor doctor COM
pared with Mrs Lydia E. Pinkham, of Lynn,
Mass. Hermes may have been after all only a
clever practitioner of the Black Art; but we
know there is no humbug in the pharmaceuti-
ca chemistry of Mrs Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
Argonaut soup: "Take pail of water and
wash it clean Then boil it till it is brown on
both sides. Pour in one bean.-When the
bean begins to worry, prepare it to simmer.
If the soup will not simmer, it is too rich, and
| you must pour in more water. Dry the water
| with towel before you put it in. The dryer
| the water, the sooner it will brown Serve
| hot"-Three in Norway.
Congress Yeast Powder contains no alum,