Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-08-12
Motives for Marriage.

u.
he was ordinarily attentive but not brilliant"
Motives for Marriage.
From Our Continent.
have been turning over the leaves of an old
book. written before L was born and which was
familiar to my CHILDHOOD and have come upon
the following extremely sensible remark:
''What pity it is that the thousan1th chance OF
O gentIeman's becoming your lover should deprive
you OF the pleasure OF a free, unembarrassed, in
tellectuai Intercourse With the single men Of your
acquaintance"
The pity of it is that the Girl of the Period so
often has no desire for this uaembarrassed and
sensible friendship. and values the men she
knows only in proportion as they minister to
her pleasure or her vanity. And this superficial
and unreal valuation prevents her from getting
honestly and thoroughly acquainted with any
maIi-from seeing him as he is seen by his own
womankind, or as he would show himself in the
stress and strain of real life, with its vital inter-
ests and stern realities. when the heyday and
playday of youth should be over.
That any other motive should enter into mar
rage than that noble and well-founded love
which can safely promise to be faithful unto
death-because to be uufaithful would be as
impossible to it as for mothers heart to turn
from her child-is one of the saddest features of
our bOasted civilization; but we see Interested
and mercenary marriages every day. and it
would be idle to say that they were the rare
r.
be impressed. not only with the sacredness of
marriage, but with profound sense of its i'm
portance In the growth of character its infu-
ence. for good or evil, on their whole natures
and their whole careers they would be less
ready to enter into It's obligations carelessly.
and we should see less of the friyolity Of flirta
tiolrthe vulgarty of husband seeking.
To my thinking, Love is the most sacred Of
Heavens gifts. and should be waited for as rev.
erently as the descent of the HOLY Ghost Mat
rmOny may. indeed. be means or grace even
when it is as unhappy as was the marriage of
that pair on whose tombstone in New Hamp-
shire church yard. apprecative neighbors sculp-
tured, for eptaph-
''THEIR WARFARE IS OVER
but surely matrimony should never be entered
into as means of likelihood. The woman who
Deliberately marrles for money has something
to boast over her ''unclassed' sisters of the
de,ti-nlCnde in proprjety. but little in principle
Some plumbers will. Of course. be made in the
purest good faith. Plenty OF foolish girls will
mistake for love their own enjoyment Of admra-
ton and pleasure in being loved. and plenty of
young men Will mistake for something sacred
and eternal the transient stir of fancy awakened
10y pretty face or taking manner. If mar
rages are born of these delusiona the error is
to be pitied and not despised: yet from the life
long penalty OF such a blunder can no man or
woman hope wholly to escape. Though the
best Joys OF life may thus have been lost. its
burdens can still be borne with dignity V lille
seit-respect remains unCliai!enged. But can that
girl respect herself who deliberately and of set
purpose, tres to attract a man simply because
he is good match or that young man who seeks
girl because. through her. he hopes to add to
his own resources by some gain in family or
wealth. or political influence?
1t is to the marriage of true minds that
Shakespeare bids us to admit no impediments:'
and it is ony such marrage-bOrn, on either
side. of the perception of and love for the in
most soul Of the real human creature to whom
one Is drawn by force OF spiritual and mental at
trdction-that has any claim on our admiration |
however we may accord to a more imperfect
bond our pardon our pity.
We're this lofty ideal of marriage constantly |
kept before the minds of young people as the |
only desirable thing, think society would be |
dgnitied by it. A girl with Una |
like purity and that sensitive perception Of truth
and refinement which belongs to purity would
never be sufficiently attracted by false ard evil
man to be in danger of harm from the assoca- |
ton and the young man. however unskilled |
in the worlds Wiles. who held in his heart |
shy and sacred worship for that mot impossible |
she, who could really command the homage of
his mind and soul. would be safe as Sir
Galanad from any Fay Vivian of them all.
But what OF the undeveloped ana unaspiring
minds and souls who have hardly discovered
that, they have any mental or spiritual needs,
but who know very well that they have human |
hearts to need comfort. human longings to full |
fill? Shall they be shut out from love and mar
riage because they cannot talk about ethics and
are hardly aware that they have any intelects at
all?
BY no means As Browning says in Evelyn |
Hope" Delayed it may be for more lives yet |
ere the time he come" for them to live COM |
pletely, but at least it is in their power to live |
sincerely. They know the difference between |
love and interest; they know whether this |
woman or this man is honestly nearer and !
dearer than al the rest of the world, whether I
they are seeking mate by reason of absolute,
Inherent attraction or for any worldly and |
therefore unworthy motive whatever. There
have been noble and honorable and faithful mar
riages often enough among people who could
not write their own names, but whose hearts
were absolutely loyal and sound to the core.
Marriage, it seems to me. should be waited |
for not sought. Who knows round what cor
ner his destiny may be hiding-at what uneX
pected turn he may come upon the face above
all faces for him? To put aside as far as posi-
bic the thought of marriage until compelled to
think OF it by some strong and special attraction
toward some special person Is wiser than to be
seeking in every chance acquaintance the posi-
bic husband or wife. I'VE shall meet the peo-
pie who are coming to meet u.s." no matter in
what far-of land their journey toward us be-
gins
Perhaps parents are lnoreto blame for worldly |
than we are apt to think. How con-
stantly we hear the term married Well APP
piled. not to character or cOngenalty, or true |
fitness. but to comfortable income. And yet |
there is something to be said for 1.-THE stern
parent Oh the novels. With Ills ndIu lactS.
The old adage that ''when poverty comes in at
the door love flies out of the window" is true
only of small and poor natures-natures incap-
able of great love: but it is. nevertheless. true
that to be loved it is necessary to be lovely. and |
that it is far more difficult to be lovely when we
are hard pressed by want and rendered fretful |
by care and oyerwOrk. Human creatures cam
not build their nests as ineXpenSlvely as the
birds do: and not even the scdnt hospitality of |
homestead caves or orchard bOughs awaits their
fedglings To marry for money. or for any Oh /
.ect whatever, save and except immortal and
Love, is to perjure and debase the
human heart; but to marry without some pro-
vision for the future. such as money, or moneys
worth in a well-furnshed mind and a capacity
for skilled labor. is to defy common sense and
invoke the evil fates.
But the one blessed state under Heaven must |
always be true marriage. the perfect compan-
iOnshp of which the perfection was so exquis-
itely expressed when Jane Eyre is made to say,
of herself and her husband-''Eo be together.
for us, is to be as free as in solitude-as gay as
in company"
LOUISE CHANDLER MOULToN.
English Gums at Alexandria,.
From the Pail Mall Gazette.
On the whole, the opinion of those present at
the bombardment seems to be that the fire of |