The Portland daily press., 1882-08-09

Verjuicei Farmers wife (whose beer is the
smallest): "Why, you hewitt drunk half of it,
| Mars George Peasant (politely)- "Thanky,
| mum, all the same, mum. But [ bean't as
| thirsty as thought wur, mu' I'M. Punch.
sThe great value of Mrs. Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound for all diseases of
women is demonstrated by every day expert
ence. The writer of this had occasion to step
into the principal pharmacy of city of 100000
| inhabitants, and on inquiry as to which is the
most popular proprietary medicine OF the time,
was answered that Mrs. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound occupies most conspicuous place
in the front rank of all remedies of this class.
journal.
| The poetical and the practical: Sentimental
! diner-"Eat lark! Partake of one of the quir-
| ing songsters at heavens gate! would as soon
| eat hymn" Practical friend-"Ya-a l new
| err touch small birds-they all feed on worms"
Internal medication through Healey's Tonic
| Pills or Cordial, will permanently cure chronic
weaknesses. See advertisement on this page.
Cephaline, taken cold, allays Thirst and Fee
yer, and restores Nervous Strength during the
hot season.
At dinner party Archbishop Whately called
out suddenly to the host, "Mr. II" There
was silence. "Mr. -, what is the proper fe-
male companion of this John Dory?" After the
usual number of guesses an answer came,
Canine ChoVy, London Society.
Use, instead of unwholesome cosmetics
Glenn's Sulphur Soap, which purifes the skin
Hills Hair Dye, black or brown, fifty cents
One way out of it: Hostess lin despair)-
Reginald my dear, what shall we do? The
company only half served, and the refresh
ments are giving out!" Practical host-"Why,
thin out the guests, to be sure Get Brown to
read that aWfully stupid essay of his on The
characterization of the Day. and you IL see
them vanish like smoke"
Horsford's Acid Phosphate, in Dyspepsia
DIR. A. jenkins, Great Falls, N. H., says:
81 have prescribed it and can testify to its
seemingly almost specific virtues in cases OF
dyspepsia, nervousness and morbid vigilance
or wakefulpess."
son est yotre lanterne?" demanded gen.
darme of an Englishman, who was wandering
about after dark in French town, where ev-
cry passenger was bound to carry light Oh
est sortil" was the reply of the intelligent for
eigner.- Independent.
Rheumatism, neuralgia, pains of all kinds
and nervous disorders are promptly renewed by
he Hop Plaster. Fresh hops, combined with
Gums and Balsans, % cts. Insist on having it
If YOU are roasting so hard thst your collar is
almost melted and you want to get cooled off,
don't go and give fifteen cents for glass of
lemonade. Just attempt to light cigar with
your last match. Then breeze will start up.
Puck.
Quicken the circulation of your blood by u.s.
ing Wheat Bitters, the great blood food
A trade journal gives directions for "presery-
ing harness." Preserved harness may be con-
sidered very palatable by those who like that
sort of thing, but we don't want bit in our
mouth.-Norristown Herald.
The Young man or woman who must forsake
society because of notifying freckles, tan, tet-
Ter, plLHDlSS duO ltCnlIS OANoAA"eAoAAD Va s--S
face, should use some of DR.. Benson's Skin
Cure. 1t cleanses the scalp and is good for the
toilet.
How do you know there is fire?' asked the
visitor The fireman locked up to him in
wondering disgust "See it in the papers," he
said, and went on reading.
Ask your physician and he will tell you that
Cascara is one of the best vegetable remedies
for Dyspepsia, Constipation and Kidney diff
culties. 1t is freely used in the preparation OF
Hops and Malt Bitters.
"Pocket books reduced to fifteen CENTS was
the notice in store window, and wag pass
ing remarked that his was reduced to nothing
Containing all the essentials OF true tonic.
and sure to give satisfaction, is Browns Iron
Bitters.
A Cairo clergyman who told his congrega-
ton from the pulpit week ago that only tip
piers and drunkards were sunstruck, was pros
trated on the street the very next day, and now
he hardly knows how to get out OF his tx.-De-
troit Free Press.
BOSTON Brown BREAD.-One cup flour, one
cup rye, two cups Indian meal, two-thirds cups
molasses, two cups milk, one cup lukewarm
water, one teaspoonful salt, and three tea
spoonfuls CONGRESS YEAST POWDER. Steam
two or three hours.
MARRIAGES.