Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-06-09

70 affably, his fingers on Aunt Anuiky's pulse.
MY pa had that struck off the first time l
ever got tooth out. That's pa with the gray
hair and the benediction attitude Tell you,
he was proud of me had such an awful
tussle with that tooth Thought the old fell
lows iaw was bound to break But got it
out, and after that pa took mo with him round
tho country-starring the Provinces you
know-and prRctioed on the natives"
BY this time Aunt Aunky was we'll under
the influence of the gas, and in an incredibly
short space of time her Eve teeth were out.
As she came to herself, am sorry to say she
was rather silly, and quite mortified me by
winking at Dr. Babb in the most confidential
manner and repeating over and over again,
Honey, yo' amt half so smart as yo thinks
yo' isl"
After few weeks of sore gums, Aunt Ami
ky appeared radiant with her new teeth. The
effect was very funny. In the first place, black
ness itself was not 30 black as Aunt Annky.
She looked as If she had been dipped in ink
and polished off with lamp-black. Even her
eyes showed but the faintest rim of white.
But those teeth were white enough to make
up for everything. She had selected them
herself, and the little ridiculous milk k-white
things we're more fitted for the mouth of a
Titania than for the great cavern in which
Aunt Anniky's tongue moved and had its be-
ing. The gums above them were black, aud
when she spread her wide mouth in a laugh
it always made me think of piano-lid open
ing suddenly and showing all the black and
white ivories at once. Aunt Anniky laughed
a good deal too, after getting her teeth in,
and declared she had never been so happy in
her life. II was observed, to her credit, that
she put on no airs of pride, but was as socia-
BILE as ever, and made nothing of taking out
her teeth and handing them around for in
specton among her curious and admiring Wis
itors. On that principle of human nature
which glories in attracting attention to the
weakest part, she delighted in tough meats,
stale bread, green fruits and all other eatsbles
that test the biting quality of the teeth. But
finally destruction came upon them in a way
that no one could have foreseen.
Uncle Ned was an old colored man who
lived alone in a cabin not far from Aunt An
niky's, but very different from hers in point
of cleanliness and order. In fact, Uncle
Neds wealth, apart from little corn CROP
consisted in a lot of fine young pigs that ran
in and out of the house at all times, and were
treated by their owner as tenderly as if they
had been his children. One fine day the old
man fell sick of fever, and he sent in haste
for Aunt Anniky to come and nurse him. He
agreed to give her a pig in case she brought
him through should she fail to do so, she
was to receive no pay. Well, Uncle Ned got
well, and the next thing we heard was that he
refused to pay her the pig My father was
usually called on to settle all the disputes in
the neighborhood, so one morning Anniky
and Ned appeared before him, both looking
very indignant.
'Td jest like to tell yo', Mars Charles, " be-
gan Uncle Ned, lob de trick dis misb bic ole
niger played on me-"
Go on, Ned" said my father, with re-
signed air.
''well, it war de IF night OBJ de fever, said
Uncle Ned, IAN was tossin and a moan
in, an ole Anniky ies' laid back in her cheer
an snored as if O dozen frogs was in her
throat. l was a-perishin' and Albumin with
thirst, an l hollered to Anniky; but lor
might as well a hollered to a tombstone 1t
was ice l wanted, an knowed dar was glass
somewhar on my table wild cracked ice in it.
Lor how dry 1 was l neber longed TO
whiskey in my born days as painted fo' dat
ice. 1t was pow'ful dark, fo' de grease was
low in de lamp, an dc wick spluttered wifi
dyin' flame. But felt aroun', feeble like an
slow, till my fingers touched glass. pulled
it to me, and run my hand in an grabbed de
ice, as s'posed, an flung it in my mouf, an
crunched an crunched-"
Here there was an awful pause. Uncle Ned
pointed his thumb at Anniky, looked wildly at
my father, and said in hollow voice, ut iods
Annikys 4efr
My father threw back his head and laughed
as had never heard him laugh. Mother from
her sofa Joined in. was doubled up like a
jackknife in the corner. But as for the prin-
cipals in the affair, neither of their faces
moved a muscle. They saw no joke. Aunt
Anniky in dreadful, mufled, squashy sort
of voice, took up the tale
''Nexsh ting l knowed, Marsh Sharles,
somebody's sheizin' me by de head, a-jammin
it up gin de wall, a-jawin' at me like de an
gel Gabriel at de rish ole sinners in de bad
plashe-an' dar wash ole Ned a-spittin like a
black cat, an a-howlin' so DIRE ful dat fo't
he wash de debbil an when got de light,
dar wash my b'utiful chany teef a-hung aroun'
like scattered seed-corn on de fo', Rn' Ned a.
swearin' he'd hab de law OBJ me-"
"An' arter all dat" broke in Uncle Ned,
"she purtends to lay claim fo' my pig. But
says no, sir; don't pay nobody nofn' who
plays me sech trick"
Trick !" said Aunt Anniky, scorntully
"WhAr's de trick? Tink wanted yo' L eat
my teef An furdermo', Marsh Sharles, dar
is jes' dis about it when dat night set in dGr
wan't no mo- hope TO ole Ned dan fo' a foun-
dered sheep. Laws a massy dats why |
went TO sleep. wanted to have strength to
put on his burial clos in de mornin' But
don't yo' see, Marsh Charles, dat when ho got
so mad it brought on a sweat dat broke up de
fever 1t saved him But fo all dat, arter
munchin' an manglin' my chauy teef, he has
do imperdence of tryin' to 'prive me OBJ de
pig dat honestly armed"
1t was hard case. Uncle Ned sat there
very image of injured dignity, while Aunt
Auniky bound a red handkerchief around her
mouth, and famed herself with her turkey
tail.
II Am sure don't know how to settle the
matter" said father, helplessly. ''Ned, l
really don't see but that you'll have to pay
up"
"Neber, Mars Charles-neber
"Well, suppose you get married" suggested
father, brilliantly; that will unite your in
terestl, you know"
Aunt Auuiky tossed her head. Uncle Ned
was old, wizened aud wrinkled as a raisin, but
he eyed Anniky over with a supercilious gaze,
and said with dignity:
''Et wanted to marry, l could git likely
young gal"
All the four points of Auniky turban shook
with indignation.
"Pay me fur dem chany teef !" she hissed.
Some visitors interrupted the dispute at this
point, and the two old darkies went away.
week later Uncle Ned appeared, looking
rather sheepish.
"Well, Mars Charles, he said, "I'se bout
concluded to marry Auniky."
"Ab is that SO ?"
"'Pears like it's de onliest way I kin save
my pigs. When wes married, she's boun' to
beg me. Women, hey your husbAn's-dats
what de good Book says"
"She'll bay you, don't doubt" said my
father making pun that Uncle Ned could
not appreciate.
"An' eff she ever opens her jaw T. me bout
dem ar teef, he added, ''I'll mash her"
Uncle Ned tottered on his legs like an un-
screwed fruit-stand, and had my own opin-
ion as to his "mAshing" Aunt Anniky. This
opinion was confirmed the next day, whom my
father offered her his congratulations.
"You are old enough to know your own
mind" he said.
''Ise ole, maybe" said Anniky, "but so is Il
oak-tree, an it's vigorous, l reckon. Use a