Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-11-04
Advice to a Slim Young Man.

81 want TO see an EDITOR said slim
young man who wore very light pants, a
hat about the size and shape OF a peanut
shell, and collar that seemed to be always
reaching for his chin without quite getting
there, as be opened the doc yesterday after
noon.
at it's anything about a delightful recep-
tou was held last Thursday evening at the
residence OF our well-known fellow citizen,
John Smith, or Miss Beatrice Perkins will
spend the autumn at Mokwanago, you'll
have to take it into the other room,' said
the tOrse reporter, because the society edi-
tor is out editing chicken tight this after
noon, and the orders are to turu all the
social grnd over to the janitor. Tomorrow
is window cleaning day"
81 came up to see, said the young man !,
'whe Their Que OF the editors would have any
objection 10 giving me some advice on a
matter in which am deeply interested
may say hat =
"You re in love, aren't you,'' asked the
horse reporter. 81 know you are, anyhow "
he continued, without giving the visitor 1t
chance 10 answer. "There is sort OF
nervous, hesitating, cat-tound-ln the wrong
back yard air about your actious that gives
you away at once. What's the trouble?
Girl gone back on you?'
IL think not. replied the young man.
II cannot believe that anyone has usurp ed
my place in her affections"
"Doue WHAT"
81 say don't believe her love has fall
tered"
"You mustn't have such Boston way of
talk ng, said the horse reporter. cor we
shant be able to get along well. The gill
hasn't weakened, you say ?"
mo"
CLOVIS the old man ? Have you cor
rallied him?
do you mean the young la dy 5 father?'
asked the visitor look OF mild Astonish-
ment passing over his continuance.
Certainly do, responded the rep orter
Glow do you loom up in the paren;s |
horizon?"
"rhe father Of the young lady does not
object to me, - was the reply.
well ,hen, what's wrong? You have
the girl on your side, and her father is
agreeable. 1t looks to me like walk oy er
tor the money"
"Ihardly think you understand the mat
ter, said the young man. My tro uble is
that the young lady does not seem fitted to
become the wife OF Il man who wants help
meet. She doesn't have auy PRACTICAL IDEAS
regarding life
''Sort of girly-girl, isn't shef" said thu
horse reporter; ''alwsss talking about the
identity of the ideal and all such mush as
that, aud wants to know if the sily cred
penclitgs Of moonlight among The verdure-
clad trees are not weiEdly beautiful Eve
seen that kind They are dasies-to keep
away from"
Il think you have the right idea re-
piled the visitor, although your style of
expressing i: IS somewhat crude
''It's a pretty tough case" said the ad-
mirer Of Maud S. These girls that are so
eternally aesheIical are generally first-class
feeders, though-Fve noticed that. The
silyery mconbeams never seem to take away
their appetite. guess you'd better try the
misunderstanding racket-that ought to
fetch her"
TRY the what ~
"The reckless-dissipatlon racket The
next time you call on Myrtle, or hateyer
her name is, YOU want to plant yourself on
the sofa in sort OF weary, man been read
iug-a- Milwaukee paper look, and put your
hand up to your forehead Then when 81 c
asks " hats the matter, you say that her
manner OF late has been SO cold that il must
be that she does not love you, and that the
thought OF losing her WAS so maddeuing
that You have been INDUCING in reckless
dissipation. 1t she doesn't sling herself
around some then, aud say that she will
never, nvver leave you, and how colld you
ever doubt her love, ana all that, I'm no
Judge" Aud the horse reporter assumed
BeDjsmin Franklin LOOK.
81 will act on your suggestion, :" said the
visitor, ttNing up his kiss M qlick before
Ego hat, aud looking out in "a friendly way
over The high-water collar. How much
dissipation do YOU tAink | ought 10 indulge
IN to produce the proper ELECT ~
" Well, replied the horse reporter, 81
should imagine II you were TO play about
two games Of billiards and drink strong
lemonade, il would constitute Tor you the
widest kind ofa debauch."