Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-12-31
BEATING HOTELS.
Some Humorous Instances Of the Way
the Needy and seedy Have Of
Getting Board Free.
The Strange Boarder Who Resorted to
ChlorOform and the GuillotiBe to
End His Troubles.

Speaking of beating hotels, says the Gin
cinnati Enquirer, it is in order 10 remark
that The ways are as numerous as the Lord
foretold TO Abraham that bis seed should be.
Each particular beat has his own peculiar
method. Sometimes it is deep laid scheme
that he has passed months of time in con-
cocting. Then again be viii act on the spur
OF the moment, brace up and float through
on his gall, go TO speak. Jlee in znIie
the professional tries has little game on ar
inn keeper of tartsric propensities, and then
for week or two he will exhibit a prefer
eDce Tor taking his meals from the mantel-
piece, where, TO use the remark applied BY
Hans to his hen, he can "set standing up;n
but these petty trials are TO be expected from
the enid charity of the world, and as coon as
the seat of his trousers has recovered from
the shock, the beat resumes his uncertain
way.
THE sEEDS BEAT.
II is less than a month ago that the guests
of one of our fashionable hs.els were frat
scandali&sd and then intensely amused over
little episode that occurred there. They
were seated about the tables in little groups,
discussing the events OF the day, when those
who were facing the door noticed a shabbily
dressed individual, who would have been
tabooed from a "beanery," enter, place his
weather.beaten derby on the hat-rack and
seat himself coolly at one of the tables
nearest the entrance. How he ever evaded
the all-searching eye oil the head waiter was
an unsolved enigma. Sufficient it is to
know that he was present. He called two
walters to him, and the manner in which
the edibles disappeared from sight before
his devastating attack for the next fifteen
minutes challenged the admiration of all
the occupants, who, taking in the situation,
were looking on with amused ancss Just
as the inierloper was finishing his meal the
proprietor OF the house charced 10 enter.
Two walters stood one on either hand,
awaiting the commands OF the great un-
registered.
What's the meaning OF this?" said the
hotel man, whose sense of the humorous
had almost overcome the fret feeling of
anger at this exhibition of adamantine cheek.
Ihs felloB rose meekly 70 his feet and
sai9 tnat ne va 20 nearly starmed that he
had become desperate, ana is-3 resoIzed Ii
run his cbances. y
81 like your Cheek said the host, Gas
hope you enjoyed a good supper. Now that
you have finished, get out of here as quickly
as possible"
The seedy individual seized his derby,
and, with mental ejaculation at the streak
of luck he had played to, departed. This
unfortunate, however, was not one who M AIDE
it a business. He was probably, ss he
claimed, dead broke, and preferred the des-
perate measure he adopted TO starvation.
THE cocKRoAcH BEAT.
A case now comes to mind, however, th at
illustrates he artist in his business to per-
lection. He was q well dressed man, and
when he entered the Office the clerk scru-
tinized him and concluded that it would be
a matter of difficulty TO discriminate be-
tween him and millionaire. He registered
his name in a Joseph Porter-K.-C.-B.
style that commanded respect. When he
entered the dining-room the walters bowed
He sat down and occupied
full hour in discussing every article that the
bill of fare promised. He had reached the
limit in the shape of pudding. Suddenly a
Mortified exclamation burst from his lips.
The walters gathered anxiousIy around.
as this what you give your guests to eat?
he shouted excitediy.
Ssh! don't speak so loud" said the head
waiter, soo.hingly.
eyes, but / will speak loud, and if you
are in the habit of cooking CO." But the
hand of the head waiter stiaed the remain
der of the word.
SSH don't say anything about il, and your
meal shan't cost you a cent"
"Well, that's all right" said the swell |
with a Frightening countenance, and he lelt
the room. " |
In the bottom of the dessert dish WIS an |
enormous cockroach. The guest, when he |
pavement, threw a wink ever his
and, putting his hard ip his vest
pocket, removed therefrom and deposited In
he gutter half-dozen or more 81 the in
,ects. 1t afterward transpired that he had
not cent of money, and after he had eaten
his fill placed the eockroach in the dish and |
% ade holy kick on the strength of il to /
slude the demand he knew would be made /
ior a cash settlement.
THE BAKED BE e.
The manner in which another OF the pro-
ession succeeded in besiIng ACE OF en-
ertainment was so ludcrous.tha. we repeat |
I, although fearful that to many it may be
Chestnut" as the boys say. A man en-
cred the Grand Pacifis one evening late-
my Grand Pacific will do-and asked for
DOM. He wore long ulster, buttoned from
hroat to ankle, which he did rot open while
lnder surveillance of any of the attaches of |
he house. Early the next morning the bell /
with his room rang furiously. The
clerk and bell-boy few for his room and |
ound him raving and storming about like
maniac. II have been robbed" he yelled, in
answer to their anxious queries; sail any |
clothes are gone. They conrainedsall of my
Taluables- My trousers contained 5000 in
money and there was a diamond stud in my
4 new suit was given to him, besides 500 in
money. Later it was learned that he had
,wned no clothing at all, and had utilized
he long ulster to hide his nakedness until he
,ould get his work in on the hotel.
All Of the cases hitherto mentioned pos
ess their humorous side; but just now there
comes to mind clse that in all It's details
vas positively ghastly.
THE eUILLoTINE BEAT.
Once upon a time--"Who threw that
rick? What? We'll, all right, If you can't
tand that we will begin again."
A we'll dressed, middle-sged man of seri-
,us aspect entered well-knoHn hotel IN a
esding Indiana city few years ago and
normous trunk, which, by his request, was
conveyed 70 the apartment assigned him.
lie had made arrangements that at no time
hould he be disturbed, neither for meals nor
Inything else. He even went so far as TO
Iemand that The SERVANTS be ordered not TO
inter- the room. Day passed. The strange
nan came and went without attracting any
PARTICULAR attention. Finally he ceased to
ppear, but at the tine nothing was thought
t tbs affair, as he frequently remained in
lis room q day at a time. The second day
awned and died, snd still he had not
een seen to leave the room. o. the
norning of the third day one OF the SER
ants knocked at the door, but received no
nswer save the dull ominous echo from the
ppsreutiy empty rosm. With q fear that
q could not express depicted in his face he
ought the landlord and Told him of the
TRANCE affair. Together they sought the
DOM, and, receiving no Response to their de.
hands for admission, burst open the door. A
orrid sight met their eyes. There, lying in
be centre Of The room, was the body of the
trangs bosrder, Will lying some distancs
way was the staring, grinning head. The
ody was lying in , pool Of blood, jest IN
ront of queer-lookng machine, which, on
proved to be a gui llotine. An
Investigation developed, cir-umstantially,
nat the big trunk contained the instru-
rents of death, that all the time he passed
, putting the machine together. II was
.ationed, as before stated, in the center
the room. The knife, which was
cen as q razor and heavily weighted, so as
give force to its descent, was held up by
cord, that, passing mp through a pulley
,stened in the ceiling, ran along and down
he wall to table, where it was passed along
ose to a candle, and fastened 10 some objec:
rovided for that purpose. On the table, in
EDITION to the candle and cord-fastener, was
bottle that had contained chloroform.
Then ali was prepared, this strange suicide
nd evidently lit the candle, inhaled the
and then laid with his neck I'M
erneash the fatal knife. The drug caused
i'm to pass into unconsciousness. As the
ours passed the candle burned lower and
wer. and, finally reaching The cord, burned
In twain. The knife descended, and the
ranger passed psinlessiy from sleep into
.ath. He ccurted death, and beat his
lrthlv landlord