The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-06-28
WIZ AND PLEAsANTRIEs.

A Dutch Judge on conviction of q cul-
prit for having four wives, decided: HE
hash punishment plenty; Ifs NIT oner'
When Patrick saw the announcement in
a shop window, "Grest Slaughter in Cloth
ing" he stepped in and inquired for swan
of thin kilt suits"
A lawyer rose for pray er at one of the
Talmage revival Meetings recently. He
feared the judgment day and had doubts
about asking for a continuance of his case.
A wife, having lost her husband, was in
consolable for his death. Leave me to my
SELF" she cried, sobbing, "you know the ex-
IRENE sensibility of my nerves; q mere
nothing upsets them"
"Have you mistaken the pew, sir?'
blandly said Sunday Chesterfield to a
stranger who had entered it. 81 beg par
don," answered the intruder, rising to go
out, II fear have; took it fer Chris
tian's."
A Western woman named her girl baby
after a noted lady and wrote 20 her about
it. The lady sent a thick, heavily-sealed
envelope mot to be opened until the babes
3Oth birthday" 1t was n terrible revenge
to take.-Philsdelphia News.
THE WAY WE LIVE Now.-~Well, old
chappie, what did the doctor sayl'' sob
said 1 was to give up tea, and take
plenty of rest, and all that. Mean, too"
"But what did he say about cigars and
brandies and sodas in the morning, and all
that?" .Oh-didn't mention it. Fact is
never asked himr-Punch.
When the "divided hygienic skirt" is
adopted by women, the male sex should
make some startling change in their COS
tume-wear "united sanitary trousers" for
instance We don't know what 'united
sanitary trousers" are, but then we are in
the same predlcament in regard to the "di-
vided hygienic skirt. "-N orristown Herald.
We rau across a man the other day who
was travelling FOR pleasure. "But," said we,
''you don't seem to be having a very hila-
rious time" ''No, certainly not; 1 am
not travelling for my own pleasure. am
travelling for the pleasure of my wife,
sir, she is in New YOrk."-Lsramie Boom
rang.
An eccentric old gentleman placed in a
| field on his estate board with the follow.
ing generous offer painted thereon: II will
give this field TO any man who is content
ed" 1t was not long before he had an ap-
plicsnt. Well, my man, are you content
ed fellow2" "Yes, sir, very" ''Then why
not wait to reply.
A laugh without words: She had or
dered nothing but vegetables and was eat
ing them vigorously when little old lady
seated mex. to her-one Of those busybodies
ever anxious to be pleasant-smiled and in
terrogatively said: "Vegetarian2" NO."
said the other, in quick response, "Unita-
rian; I'm from Boston-are your
One of those grand old Beethoven laughs
without words went round the table.
A.young man seated beside sn elderly
passenger on the Cincinnati, Hamilton and
Dayton train several days ago mazda consid-
cradle sport in quiet way of the hat of q
lady near them. AT last his elderly COM
panion replied: THAT lady is my wife, sir,
and told her that every fool who saw the
hat would make sport of it, but she wouldn' t
believe me and insisted on wearing is" The
young man stammered en- apology and re-
treated to the smoking-car.
The little sister: "Well, my little girl, .
sid a New Haven gentleman to frienc'.'
"preciousest, aren't you going to sing for
me~ No, sir, Pm not a singer" "Now,
/ though you was singer" "Oh, no. l
only sing little to my dolly" but I'll
be your dolly" "Your'e to big. / guess
sister Jennie wouldn't mind If you were
hers. She said you was just splendid"
Sudden rafting of the dishes in the back
room, where Jennie was busy.-New Haven
Register.
A woman critic pays the following trib-
ute to Emma Abbott: As singer she can
just wsllop the hose off of anything that
ever wagged a jaw on the boards. From
her clear bird-like upper notes she wonld
counter away down on the bass racket, and
then cushion back on sort of spiritual
treDble, which made every man in the au-
dience imagine every hair on his head was
the golden string of a celestian harp, over
which angelic fingers were sweeping to the
aspiring old tune of "Sally Put the Kettle
On"
The parson extended the box to Bill, and
he slowly shook his head. "Come, Will
liam, give something" said the parson.
"Can,t do it." said Bill. "Why not2 Is
not the cause good one?" asked he. ayes,
good enough; but 1 am not able to give any
thing" answered Bill. "Poohl poohl L
know better; you must give me better
reason than that" swell, owe too much
money; / must be just before 1 am gener-
Gus, you know" "But, William, you owe
heaven larger debt than you owe any one
else" "That's true, parson; but heaven amt
pushing me like the rest of my creditors. p
Old Anecdote.
Scientific item: "That msn is a phrenolo-
gist Pat" said an east-side citizen TO a son
of Erin, il reply to an inquiry regarding
long haired individual who was just closing
the door behind him. "a phat2" asked
Pat, puzzled. "a phrenologist." "Phat's
that?'' why, a man that can tell, by feel
ing of the bumps on your head, what kind
of a man you are" explained the obliging
citizen. Bumps on me head, is It'll" ex-
claimed Pat. "Begorra, then, / should
think it would give him more of an oidea
pbst kind of woman me wife isl' And
then the much-abused Hibernian changed
his pipe to the other corner of his mouth
and walked out.-Yonkers Statesman.
A story is narrated of the present bishop
of Limerick, which. coming from Lord EN-
~, must be true. The bishop, who has for
some time back been in extremely delicate
health, was told some days since by his
physician that a trip to Nice was positively
necessary to set him up in health; but he
positively declined to entertain the idea Of
going. and shook his head so determinately
that the man of pills and potions thought it
only right to express himself in plain terms.
any lord, "Yhe said very solemnly, 81 tell
you very canddly that your case is most