davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1882-05-04

cutters have returned 20 work - the old schedule Of
rates.
Western Carpenters On Strike.-The C1evc-
and Ohio. carpenters are out. and are highly san
guine Of success.
Gilbert & Bash, Of Green Island near Troy.
rom tI-l3 70 81 40 day.
- Plumbers Oat.-The New York plumbers
commenced their strike 81 last Monday and es-
tAblshed headquarters at 537 Third ~.
Oae Rammer 20 Two Paviors.-The New
York paviors have decided that in future no rammer
viii ram the work u more than two paviors.
The Strike Of furniture vsrnishers in the employ
Of n. b. Schrenkeisen. Elizabeth 81. New Yosk,
sti continoss. and the men hopeful Of success.
TFsMkmakers. Fifty trunkmakess employ.
ed BY Lisa. Stern Co. ceased work because
. Union man was discharged add non Onion man
employed In his place.
R0lliag Mills.-About 200 men in the blast fur
nance Of the Bethlehem Rolling Mill. Pa. struck
upon potncation that their demand for IN increase
OF wages would not be conceded.
National Labor Clab.-The National Labor
Club. 9Th Assembly District. New York City. meets
every ThursdAy evening ct Botanic Hall for the pur
pose Of enrolling new members.
The Kneaaers want . Rise.-The bakers Of
New York City are determined 70 demand higher pay
about the middle OF Nay. All right II decrease o:
weight don { follow increase OF pay.
Firm TFarknen.-The trackmsn on the Hud
River Branch Of Vanderbilt railroad refuse 70
cept the osrsd eompsomiss Of 81 IS and the men OF
the New Fork and Harlan road aEs stin out
Types On Strike In Tennssses.-Ths com
postos on the Chattanooga Tsns Are ont for sn in.
crease from 2sc. TO SOC. per thousand The Tsa<.
found httls dimculty In procuring . sosos
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1882-05-04

Facts Showing the Absardlty Of tn
1ALrHr0AxA THEoar OF SUBSISTENCE. Oregon
alone u larger than the great States Of New York
and Pennsylvania combined. and 10 much larger
than either Ohio and Pcnnsylvania or indiana and
Illinois laid side By sids. Oregon 10 half large -
France. about twice - large - England, over six
times large - Switzerland sbopt eight times the
szs Of Holland. and nearly mind times q large
- Belgium. We're Oregon settled thickly q
Ohio. our population would be over seven and one
half millions or - Pennsylvanis We would have
over eight and onehAlf millions or New York over
ten millions Switzeriand over thirty millions
Or France. about eighteen millions or Holland.
about twenty -ssven millions or England probably
ov.f any milions or - many - are nov in al the
United States OF America These facts ara almost
startling. Such are comparisons fog the State d
Oregon only. What. then. would they be for the
whole Of the basin Of the Columbia the great Pa-
ciAc Northwest, Gather together all there u Of
England. Scotland. Belgium. Holland. France, Den.
mark. and Switzerland where over IS .000. 600 d
people dwell and il does not equal the watershed Of
the Columbia and it, tributaries. And al those
countries have their mountains and timber. and
their barren and waste lands. and are growing in.
creasinS and developing yet. and will continue for
sgss TO come. ding heavy annual depletion
from emigration. Such being our condition "a
size the question naturally ARISES Are We Of the
Northwest capable OF furnishing sustenance and pros
porous happy homes for the teeming millions Of the
futurer unnesltatiDgly answer that We ars Why
mott Our soil and climate are . good theirs. II
not far better. average. The three essential
conditions exist First. . climate warm enough 70
Iipen crops and the COMFORT OF and beast:
second . soil OF natural fertility and third and
last. sumctent moisture 70 render the soil pro1uc-
tive-HoS u. G. George Of oregon. in House If Rep
rss-:acss. IL debate lmprortRo he Rirers d ~
NovtArsa
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1882-12-09
NO. l64
SPECIAL NOTICES.
Notice..

Notice.
II you nave fine or complicated watch or
CLOCK, music box, an automaton singing bird
VI VI any other delicate and intricate piece
mechanism needing repairs, go to
chro,oo.. EDW. WILHELM,
olronometer, watch and clockmaker
Jewelry neatly repaired.
"A An work warranted to give perfect satisfac,
ton or positively no charge. 90
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1882-09-04

recent Prohibitionist Convention fig
ures up the entire outlay of the cam
paign at S336,lS of which all but
*72,953 had been previously subscrib-
ed. The opponents of the Prohibi-
ton party appear to have been very
niggardly or over-confident of success.
The whole amount subscribed by them
for campaign fund did not exceed
$4,000. They now regret their close
fistedness, and express the opinion
that the vote on the Prohibition
amendment might have been in their
favor if they had been as free in their
use of money as the temperance men.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08
The Inroads Of civilization.

A very graphic and pathetic description Of
the inroads soon to be made by civilization
given by an old man in Tennessee "But
this huyar country's goin' to change. It's
goin' to be most everlastingly improved, you
see. l shan't never be improved I'm too
old. But the old ways is comm to an end.
There's men buying up thousands of acres
of this land. They'll be railroads built di-
rectly, hither and yam. ..morn'Il do anybody
any good. They'll cut off the woods for
fuel an lumber, and they'll be mines an
quaries up huyar, they say. An they'll be
mean dirty little own laid out all about.
Then instead of people drinkin' q leetle
healthy whisky, as we've always done,
there'll be forty times as much miserable
pison stuff sold and drunk, an whoever
drinks it'll begin to steal an lie. | reckon
there'Il be some mighty fine houses built
some'ere long the river, an they'll put big,
scientific locks on their doors, an thicvesn
come from Cincinnater and Chatnoog', an
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08
How 1t Feels to Be Hanged.
Little Rock Gazette.

Little Rock Gazette.
Yesterday several gentleman were speak
ing of capital punishment, when J. L. Me-
Nicely, one of the most prosperous farmers
in Pulaski county, remarked "Gentlemen,
as far as the punishment is concerned, hang
ing does not amount to anything. | was
hung once until [ was insensible, and the
feeling could scarcely be called pain" The
bystanders thought he was joking. Il am
in earnest" he continued. I'm 1865, just at
the close of the war, robbers came to my
house in search of money. AS a precaution
against such visitors I had given two watch
es and 5000 in gold to a trusty colored wo-
man to keep for me until times improved.
l way lying in bed crippled. Several men
entered the room, and, without saying q
word, put a rope around my neck and began
to pull. told them that if they were going
to hang me to wait until I could get my
cru1ch, so that I could walk to the hanging
place. They took me out on the gallery, and
throwing the rope over q crossbeam, asked
me for my money. l told them that | had
none. They drew me up. For a moment |
experienced a slight choking sensation, and
then / became %insensible. When l became
conscious, after being taken down, / was
sitting on the steps. Thu sensations while
regaining consciousness was very much like
those experienced during a nightmare.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08
THE RIVER PRESS.

break into 'em. They amt never been a
lock on a door in these mountains. But
they's goin' to be the all-firedest improve
ments about huyar, an I s'pose our people'll
learn to steal, too; hat to, to keep up an
live. n they'll be some O. them city VIM
men huyar, | reckon, from them big places,
with their fine dresses O draggin' INTO the
ground, an their'l be the devil to pay
among our young men. That's what they
calls ci05hsation, amt 1t, stranger l tell ye
this countryll be improvin' like hell, but I
shan't live to see much of it, I don't reck-
IN ~
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08
Rather Had Brady.

When James T. Brady first opened a law
yer's Office in New York. he took a base.
ment room, which had been previously been
occupied by q cobbler. He was somewhat
annoyed by the previous occupants callers,
and irritated by the fact that he had few of
his own. One day an Irishman entered.
"The cobbler has gone, I see," he said.
81 should think he had" tartly responded
Brady. "And what do you sell ?" he said,
looking at the solitary table and a few law
books. "~Blockheads," responded Brady.
"Begorra," said the Irishman, Eye must be
doing a foine business-ye hain't got but one
left.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08

A5SASS w lac WlCs WuO 6d1u My uthI,
we are almost out of meat, and though the
deceased, from the austerities of his private
life, was in poor condition, / have no doubt
that among his surviving friends we may en-
counter others more succulent.' miserable
tigress," exclaimed her lord, cannot you see
that if we permit the deceased to be canon
lied, pilgrimages will be instituted to his
tomb, and the producer and consumer will
be brought together in accordance with the
true principles of political economy. Rather
then let us offer a chrome for each new pill
grim" This prudent advice being followed,
the tiger enjoyed q free breakfast to the end
of his days.
Moral-Beware of breaking the egg that
lays the golden goose.
THE A AND THE PATRIARCH.
During the deluge as a shark was conduct
ing thanksgiving service for an abundant
harvest, q prudent patriarch looked out and
addressed him thus my friend, I am much
struck with your open countenance pray
come into the ark and make one of US. The
probabilities are a falling barometer and
heavy rains throughout the region of the low
er universe during the next forty days :"
That's just the kind of q hair-pin l am"
replied the shark, who had on several rows
of wisdom teeth, 'fetch on your deluges."
About six weeks subsequent the patriarch
encountered him on the summit of Mount
Ararat in very Strengthened circumstances.
Moral-You can't pretty much most al
ways tell how things are going to turn out
sometimes.
II WOLF AND THE LAMB.
A wolf one day drinking from a running
stream. observed a lamb also drinking from
the same stream, at some distance from
him.
81 have yet to learn" said the wolf, ad-
dressing the lamb with dignified severity,
s'wbat right you have to muddy the stream
from which l am drinking
"Your premises are Incorrect replied the
lamb, with bland politeness, ''for if you will
take the trouble to examine the current criti-
cally, you will observe that it flows from you
to me, and that any disturbance or sediment
here would be, SO far as you are concerned,
entirely local.
Possibly you are right" returned the
wolf ''but, if l am not mistaken, you are
the peron who two years ago used your in
huence against me at the university.
Impossible" replied the lamb, ''two
years ago I was not born"
"Ah,.well," added the wolf, composedly,
II am wrong again; but it must convince
every intelligent person who has listened to
this conversation that I am altogether insane
and consequently not responsible for my &C
TONS"
With this remark he at once dispatched the
lamb, and was triumphantly acquitted.
Moral-This fable teaches us how erron-
eous may be the popular action in regard to
the distribution of alluvium, and the forma-
ton of River Deltas.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08

AS white as snow once-years ago
See, nov tits nearly amber!
Among these criss-cross hieroglyphs,
Astounding in her '1buts" and ''lfs,"
How / did Ike to Chamber!
She always wrote on "White-Laid Note; y
Just feel-it seems SO brittle
That one might crack it by a touch.
Love her? Yes, / did, very much.
Love me? A very little.
Read it? No. you may not, though
Loves fragile flower has wilted,
And this is but q faded leaf
With which I mock the gnawing grief
That comes from getting Tilted.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08
EsOP OUTDONE
A Few Fables From Bret Harte's New
Book.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN.

THE GOOD SAMARITAN.
A certain man went from Jerusalem to
Jericho, and fell among thieves, who beat
him and stripped him and left him for dead.
A good Samaritan seeing this, clapped spurs
to his ass and galloped away lest he should
be sent to the house of detention as a witness
while the robbers were released on bail.
Moral-The pe~rceiver is worse than the
thief.
THE KIND HEARTED SHE ELEPHANT.
A kind-hearted she elephant, while walk
ing through the jungle where the spicy
breezes blow soft DER Ceylonss isle, heed
lessly set foot upon q partridge, which she
crushed to death within a few inches of the
nest containing its callow brood. "Poor
little thing said the generous mammoth,
81 have been a mother myself, and my af-
lection shall atone for the fatal consequence
of my neglect" So saying she sat down on
the orphaned birds.
Moral-The above teaches us what home
is without q mother and also that it is not
every person who should be entrusted with
the care of an orphan asylum.
THE PHILOSOPHER AND THE sIMpLEToNs.
A simpleton having occasion to seat him
self, eat down on q pin wherein he made
an outc1y unto Jupiter, A philosopher, who
happened;to be holding up a hitching post in
the vicinity, rebuked him, saying . can
tell you how to avoid hurting yourself by
sitting down on pins, and will, if you'll set
'em up" The simpleton eagerly accepted
the offer. The philosopher swallowed four
fingers of the rum that pe1isheth. and re-
piled Never sit down." He subsequent
ly acquired q fortune by advertising for
agents, to whom he guaranteed .3 q week
for light and easy employment at their
homes.
Moral-The wise man saith "There is
a niger in the %1ence,' but the fool sendelh
on twenty stamps for samples, and is taken
in.
THE D TIGER.
A prudent tiger having observed a process
sion bearing the remains of a sainted Brah
min to the tomb, communicated the intelli-
Sacramento daily record-union., 1882-05-11
THE ADVANTAGES OF TWO EYES.

In response to the question, " What is
the use of having two eyes!" the answer
has been given, "To have one left if the
other is hurt" Much as we may admire
the sagacious foresight Of this youthful
Psychologist, it will not be found sufficient
to rest contented with his ultimatum He
had evidently not tried his skill to find
how unexpectedly he would miss the ink |
stand while endeavoring to dip his pen into
it at arms length, with one eye closed.
He had not thought of holding his finger a
few inches in front of his face to find what
part of the wall it would hide from each
eye in succession, or how differently IL
would look when regarded from those two
points of view separately; how much
thicker it would appear when both eyes
were open how readily he could examine
three sides of it at once how much mord
definitely he could Judge its distance
in a word, how much more compreI
hensive was the information given
by two eyes if used at the SAND
moment. Assuming that he knows exactly
how to account for the inversion OF the
retinal image and the erect appearance OF
the object there pictured, how our visual
perceptions are only signs OF what we MOI
mentarily feel on the retina, signs that
generally represent the realities with fair
degree of accuracy, but may sometimes
represent almost anything else on demand,
how, if the eyes be healthy, we have no
consciousness of possessing any retina at
all, but instantly and unconsciousiy refer
any retinal sensation to some external body
whose existence we are obliged to assume,
unless there be special arguments to conf
vince US to the contrary granting all this,
our young psychologist has not thought OF
inquiring how it is that, although two reti
nal images are produced, we see but
single object. and this despite the fact
that, like photographs OF the same body
simultaneously taken from different stand
points, these two images are necessarily
dissimilar. Popular Science Monthly.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1882-05-11
THE PYRAMID OF mEYpoom,

A recent letter from the Hon. j. Vii.
liers Stuart, author OF "Nile Gleanings,"
in the Academy, says: The other day /
visited Meydoom. The pyramid has now
been cleared down TO the level Of the
desert, to which It descends in d series of
great steps OF beautifully fitted masonry
OF fine white limestone. The joints are
so close that it is often difficult to trace
them. It ia, in fact, more like cabinet
makers work than mason's work. It must
have been recovered from the remotest
times, az it looks quite new toward the
base. You may say it was but Just fin
ished. 1t comes next in size to the Pyra.
mids OF Ghizeh. The central chamber
is tent shaped that is to say, the wall
inclines inward toward the roof, so as TO
reduce the span, and better enable it
(the roof to bear the enormous superin.
cumbent weight. There were found in this
CHAMBER some pieces Of timber, which seem
to have been used to remove some heavy
weight, perhaps the sarcophsgus. 1t is,
however, possible that, as in the case Of
the Pyramids OF Ghizeh, there may be ani
other chamber in which the sarcophagus
still exists. When last saw Professor
Maspero he seemed to doubt whether this
was really Seneferoo's pyramid; butwithin
five minutes walk Of the pyramid dis-
covered an inscription which conclusiysly
proves that it is indeed the pyramid OF that
Pharaoh. The inscription occurs on the
right hand top corner OF the tomb Of Nofre-
Maat. 1t reads " "Seneferoo Mente vi. e.,
the ''resting place." or "cemetery OF
Seneferoo. The stone il quite uniDjured,
and the purpose of the inscription is 10
designate the locality in which the tomb is
situated.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1882-05-11
sHg WANTED HER MONEY.

Actors acquire the art Of masking their
faces of course, as part Of their business.
Sometimes they find it difficult, however,
and IL was 30 with the young man who re-
centlv plaved the Mohamet in "The
French Spy" in the London Theater.
The Young actor who played Mahomet,
nicturesoueiy clad in the Arabic dress, had
iust entered the yard in the prison scene, and
was getting ready for the combat with
the Spy, when girl walked down the
center aisle, stepped close in front OF the
stage. and said in low but distinct tone
5Say, when do you mean to pay me
them two dollars"
The actor became more rigid in his
meIodramatic attitude and moro vociferoua
in his utterance as he ignored his brazen
nuestioner. But she meant to be an
swered.
81 want them two dollars" she said, in
a louder tone than before.
Mohamet stalked down to the foot.
lights, still speaking his lines, and when
he got as near the girl as possible be inter.
polated
Hush hush %
"Will you give me the money % wai
her reply, in slightly louder voice.
The face Of the actor was mask. Be
hind its unperturbed features he said TO ;
member OF the orchestra, in whisper
Pay her, for Gods sake"
The musician covertly handed the girl
two dollar note, and she retired. III [Cincin
natl Enquirer.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1882-05-11
THE TALE OF A SHIRT.

In the course of confidential conversa.
ton with friend who had recently had
two new shirts made, we learned incident
ally that the style of building shirts had
radically changed, and that they were be.
ing made to button in front instead OF at
the back of the neck. The news was SO
good that we could not believe it until we
had it directly from a shirt maker. who
showed US the ground plan and front ele-
vation that had been prepared by archi-
tects for the erection of some fine shirts
for cur best citifths, and sure enough, the
old fashion of folding doors in front, in
stead OF storm. door between the shoulder
blades in the back, was the fashion. We
have never felt 30 much like passing a
resolution of thanks to the shirt-makers,
and a resolution of coincidence to parties
who have got to wear the old ones, in our
life. Those shirts that button in the back
have been the cause of more profanity
than any one thing. Shirts that button
in the back have been the cause of
crime. Religious societies cannot pros
per as they should when the male popu-
lation has to reach over its head, and
away around to the back of the neck to
button its shirt. Talk about spending
thousands of dollars to find the.north pole
if half the money spent in that way was
offered as reward for the detection of the
man who invented shirts that button in the
back, and he could be turned loose among
men that have suffered for years by this
devilish contrivance, it would be well ex-
pended.
The bare idea of having shirts that open
in front will give feeling OF rest to tired,
back aching humanity. To stand up to
the glass and button shirt, and see what
you are about, will be bliss indeed. The
thought of generous slit in the bosom of
a shirt, where ones hand may wander, is
elysium There are times-we say IL ad-
visedly-there are times when the best Of
us want to put hand inside shirt bosom,
but with the old shirt that buttons in the
back man might as well be in burglar.
proof safe, with the combination lost, as to
try to get in. A mans stomach has been
a sealed book for fifteen years, with the
old boiler. iron shirt bosom, with no port
holes. Occasionally mans heart aches,
and if he could put hand on it, without
going around the back way and sneaking in
under the arm, he could tell by the feeling
whether it was unrequited affection or
rheumatism. With the new shirt an ex-
ploring expedition can be sent to the seat
of the disease before it is everlastingly too
late Men have been wounded, and before
they could be turned over and the entrance
to the shirt found they have bled to death.
The old back action shirt ia a fraud, and
the new one is daisy Peck's Sun.