The Portland daily press., 1882-09-20
Wit and Wisdom.

VIII ana WlSQOm.
"Did you see the moon over your right shoul-
der, my dear?" said she to him as they roamed
down the walk "N-n-no, not exactly. Init
just saw the old man over nv left sben,der
and III bid you good night" No kisses served
up with that parting.-Boston Globe.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate as a Nerve
Food.
DIR. j. W. Smith, Wellington, o., saws: 81
have used it advantageously in impaired ner
vous supply"
The transportation lines needn't fight about
carrying grain. We canal freight some of it.
2. S.-Please pronounce it 'kann awl," then
look at it with one eye through a smoked glass
and the joke will become fearfully apparent
Syracuse Sunday Times.
Constitutional skin diseases of scorbu,ic
character are successfully treated with DIR.
Benson's Skin Cure, internal and external
treatment, both pleasant. 1t certainly re-
moves scrofula, eruptions, dandruff and tan,
and makes the skin smooth and healthy.
This is the diffe ence between hen and
bride: You swear "shoo" at one and throw
it at the other.-Syracuse Sunday Times.
A reliable means of Graduating local disease
of the skin, viz: Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, so cents.
Herod the younger once paid 100000 for
three lectures that pleased him. Insanity must
have been Hereditary in the family.
Town Herald
Wheat Bitters is a genuine pharmaceutical
preps ration, and SO recognized by the profess
son
The Philadelphia Inquirer says Mayor
Phipps, the poorhouse robber, is "only the
ripened fruit of public indifference 1t is time
to knock such fruit down with the polls.-New
Orleans Pieayune.
Sprains. lameDess pains and stitches, lumba-
go or disease of the spine will be Immediately
relieved on application of Hop Plaster over
the affected parts. It's penetratiye power is
very wonderful Warranted to be the best
made.
The London World has statistics to prove
that lawyers have less sickness class than
physicians, but as an offse' physicians can get
their medicines for about fifty per cent. off,
Detroit Free Press.
The woman who seeks relief from pain by
the free use of alcoholic stimulants and mar
cotic drugs finds what she seeks only so far as
sensibility is destroyed or temporarily suspend
ed. No cure scds ever drought by such means,
and the longer they are employed the more
hopeless the case becomes. Leave chloral,
morphia and belladonna alone and use Mrs
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
For sale, Mackinaw hat in good order,
used only three months, or will exchange for a
sealskin or silk hat, apply at this office.-Bos-
ton Star.
Wheat Bitters will strengthen you and asss t
nature in removing every symptom of disease.
Try them at once. Sold by all druggists.
Georgia man has hen twenty-oue years
old. 1t is the acknowledgment of the fact that
makes this item interesting .-Boston Globe.
blood food" is the suggestive name often
given to Ayers Sarsaparllla, because of it's
blood enrlching qualities.
In western town the other day young man
was shot at, but the ball lodged in testament
which was in his vest pocket There ought to
be beautiful moral to. this incident, but un-
fortunately the fact remains that if he had
been reading the testament he would have
been killed. iladelphia News.
Constipation, liver and kidney diseases are
cured b. Browns Iron Bitters, which enriches
the blood and strengthens the whole system.
The latest book of etiquette says that people
who are away from home should never speak
of being hungry. We trust De Long knew this
and didn't break the rule.-Boston Post.
"Why suffer lopger?'' These are the words
| spoken but day or two since, by one who for
years had passed sleepless nights, and whe
CHANGED to meet friend similarly afflicted
"Hops and Malt Bitters has completely restor
| ed me.''
A sketch of King Cetewayo the Zulu mon
arch, says that che wears No. u gloves and
drinks bottle of whiskey after dinner" How
that man would be worshipped in Chicago
| Philadelphia News.
| Barnums Circus always takes. along gross
OF German Corn Remover. Sold by druggists
"You say that you were present when my
son was killed." said an Arkansas gentleman
to man who had inst arrived from Colorado
Eyes, sir, was present" 'How did the fight
occur?' "Well, you see, your son and fell
low got into dispute, and the fellow struck
your son with quart bottle of whiskey, frac-
turing his skull and killing him instantly
"Struck him with bottle of whskey Well,
since the poor boy had to die, I'm glad that he
died a natural death. Arkansas Traveller.
Congress Yeast Powder contains no alum,
ammonia, terra alba, or any other injurious
Ingredient but is made from absolutely pure