Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08
Curious Weddings.

Curious Weddings.
After dinner, the other night, curious
marriages were under discussion at a
house where some great travellers were
present, and it was hoped that they
would favor the company with some of
their experience in that line. One, l
knew, had had to pursue his bride upon
an ostrich over Afric's sands; and
another to feed his with blubber in
strips, in the neighborhood of the Pole ;
but on this occasion they were deaf to
all entreaties. l have noticed that one
traveller will seldom open his mouth
to any interesting extent at least--in
the presence of another, for which,
doubtless, they have their reasons.
at is a pity" whispered great
navigator to me, the other day, when
another great navigator was venturing
upon an experience, chat man who
has really done great things should tell
such very strange adventures, because
they throw discredit on even what he
has DONE"
Upon this occasion an old gentle
man beat all the explorers by relating
to us the nuptials of Miss Biffin, which
took place not so far away, indeed, but
so long ago that the details were be-
yond the reach of criticism. This lady
was conspicuous in her time for the
absence of her limbs-but for all that
she attended the fashionable assemblies.
One night she was forgotten by her
friends, and left in the ball room, with
the lights out. Alarmed by her cries.
the head waiter rushed into the room,
and inquired who was there. From
the dark depths of the assembly room,
female voice replied:
at is l. want to 60 home"
"Then step this way, ma'am, you can
surely see the door,"
"Alasl 1 have no legs"
The waiter was kindly man, and
ventured into the darkness. eff you
will hold out your hand, ma'am, l will
pick you up and carry you out"
"But have no arms"
On which the waiter fled, under tbs
the impression that it was the devil.
Our old gentlemen saw, or said he
saw, this lady married, poor creature, tc
a vile adventurer, who ran through heI
money and left her to starve-and de-
scribed the circumstances.
"But where did her husband put her
ringw asked one Of the audience, q
man who is never satisfied with what
is sufficient for other people, and who
has no respect for age.
Our old gentlemen remained silent
delving in the ruins of his memory fol
this immaterial circumstance.
Then chivalrous young fellow step
ped in: 81 seem to remember reading
some account of how hole was drilled
through the lady's nose, sir, after the
fashion Of African brides but per-
haps / am mistaken"
"No, no, you are quite right" ex-
claimed the old gentleman, rapturous-
ly. "You have recalled the detail to
my recollection the wedding ring was
put through her nose"
The most striking marriage of the
modern times took place just after the
overthrow of the Commune in Paris.
1t was double one, and each bride
groom had for his best men two gen.
darmes, and each lady, for her bride
maids, two female prison wardens.
The happy pairs parted at the church
door, to meet again in the convict set
Element of New Caledonia. The men
were differs" and would have been
debarred the solace of matrimony for
ever but for the circumstance that
their sweethearts possessed certain Sc
crets of great value to the police. A
bargain was struck with the State, by
which the two pairs Of lovers were thus
made happy at the expense Of the
criminal classes. 1t is therefore posi-
BILE, it seems, to combine love match
with marriage of convenience.
When Texas couple stood up to be
married, the minister saw the handle
of pistol protruding from the BRIDE
groom's pocket, and suggested that,
out of respect to the solemn ceremony,
it be laid aside. The advice was heed
ed, when the bride demurely drew a
dagger from her bosom and tossed it
beside the other weapon.