The Elk Mountain pilot., 1882-02-09
MR. SPOOPENDTKE.
s,xs fys.e He Lsses H.s sx.p.,x.v..

"Now, my dear" said Mr. Spoopea-
dyke, ss he stretched thimself and drew
on his pentaloons, "you've cleaned these
trousers up frat rate. This is what I
sail economy. 1t savee money. IRA
taken 'am to tho taiior's it woah have
cost .. couple d dollars 1t least, and
you've saved Just that amount, aud Ar.
Spoopendyke went to hisabluions and
hca pulled on his shirt.
-"IM clean your coat too. i 5ou like, =
said Mrs. epoopendyke. Leave it
home some day and I'll take this spot
out d the slseve," and Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke busted around end looked delight
ed with the idea of pleasing her husband.
Where's my suspsnders9" asked Mr..
spoopendyAe, scsewing himself a<oGnd
and looking down his back. "You
didn't clean the suspende-s clear out Of
sight, did your"
"Ihey we're th"fe when Jcu pat Oh
your pants, said Mrs. snoopendyke, 81
haven't touched them. What did you Go
With them 2" s1ls zG.Ysd e i-s-
"Oh, yes, certainly u I did something
with themi What dye s'pose I did with
them? Think, I set them up IL businass
somewhere, don't ye? Got al idea I
gave EN- vacation to 60 fishing, haven't
ye? Well, l didn't, and moee'n that I
didn't send EN- away to ne educated for
the ministry. Where's my suspend
e-s! Where'd you put EN-? ? 6'pose I'm
going around holding these pants up all
day? Think I've got no business i4ter-
ests beside holding on my bTesc4les With
both HANDS? What'd you do with the
measly things?"
81 know I didn't take them off the
pants, said hrs. Spoopendyke, pulling
open the bureau drawers and hustling
things around in vain endeavor to
find the missing articles.
"They must be there somewhere"
"Show EN- to me, then r demanded
Mr.. Epoopendyke, "tsLe q stick and
point 'em out to mel OF course they're
here somewhere, only Just put your
thumb on 'em! What have ye done
with 'em? Can't ye recollect whether
ye made 'e.n up into hat bands for the
heather, like you did my dressing gown,
o. whether you planted them to see #
they would grow, like yea did ny straw
hat? Think they walked Of like GRO
ton bug? S'pose those suspendazs have
taken Their girl to picnic2 What kind
Of housekeeping dye call this, anyhow ?
Where's my suspenders p howled Mr.
spoopendyke, poking around in the
soiled-clothes bag. where's those
suspenders ?" and he pulled the books
Of the shelf and rummaged around be-
hind the case with broom handle for a
divining- rod. ".i ~, .' 40 '-
maybe 1 can fix your pants SO you
won't need any suspenders to-day, and
III find them before night" suggested
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"That's it You've got |" raved
Mr.. Spcopendyke. Chow are you 60
ing to FIX en-? Going 70 tis them on
with shoe string, like you DO your BUS
tles Going to w>lk around behind me
all day and hold EN- on? P'haps you
can pail EN- up and button 'em around
my neck! How dye propose to fix emf
Going to put 'em on me upside down so
if they fall they'll fall up? If I had
your head I'd go out to service as file.
Fix 'em, why don't ye? Why don't ye
fix EN-? These trousers are getting sick
at the stomach, waiting to be fixed r
and Mr.. 6poopmdyke shot across the
room and dove under the wardrobe in
search Of the lost suspenders.
"Just let me buckle them tight be-
hind" said Mrs. Spoopendyke. "The
strap viii hold them"
| "That's the scheme" shrieked Mr..
spoopendyke. "Something's got to
hold them If was as sharp IS you
I'd get rich hiring out for an oyster.
knife. All ycn Want IS 10 have some.
body sit cross-legged Oh you al coAs
home two weeks after you're expected t.
be tailor-shopl Going to find thost
dod gssted suspendes between now and
the next war? 2" ;s III, -o,
81 know they were on his pants when
he put them on" unused Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, entering upon little induetiv'
| WHICH. III THE wORSn, -,