The Osceola times., 1882-08-05
A LONG ISLAND HEATHEN
Who Knows More About CLANS than He
Does About God.

In the recent discovery on Long Island
ofa community of full blown heather,
the boasted civilization of the nineteenth
century has received a severe shock.
Right under the nose OF the foreign mis-
sionary society paganism rears It's horrid
seven story front.
A man from the seventh ward, New
York, was over on the Island last week,
and while leaning on a iiSh-cart inter
viewed one of the elderly and most re-
spectacle OF the down-east heathen.
When the old animated mummy fetched
TO in his starboard tack to windward the
seventh ward man accosted him.
"Why don. you have some churches
in this locality ?"
whats them?"
"Places to worship God in"
"God - This with profane accent
which suggested tl.at the old duifer had
heard the word before.
ayes, God. Didn't you ever hear of
him."
well, I've heard the clam dlggers use
the word when the tide was up, and
sometimes the fishermen, when they'd
made poor haul"
"Who do ysu suppose God ls?'
suppose don't suppose nothing at
all about il cause don't know nothing
at all about it. Do your"
The seventh ward man took his pipe
out of his mouth and spat on the shingly
shore.
Glow old are your
"Going on seventy.two."
Support family2"
r.. m II
laws"
Have you n bible in the house?"
is it something like a gill metz"
"No, the word of God written by tho
twelve apostles. Ever hear about Peter
the Gre at?"
Nav"
"One of the apostles drove Adam and
Eve out of the garden Of Eden with a
sword. and afterwards caught colored
man named Pontius Plate and elit his
ears
what was his number"
"Whose number"
"rhe pilots"
Didn't have any number What do
You mean by that?"
'All the pilots on this coast have a
number. Thought perhaps might know
him."
Don't you have any schools here?"
"Had akind of school here last chow
der season, but the teacher was too will
ing"
How so?"
"Oh, some of the blue fishers asked
him if he taught that the world was
round or square, and he said seein' as
how he was outen job he'd teach her
round or squafe-iust as the school board
wanted it teached. Said it was inmate
rial"
Never have any Sunday SCHOOL,"
"Naw."
"Dig clans on the SABBATH"
''lf The tides down"
"What would You do If they should
send some preachers over here?'
"Sell 'em some clans"
"What would you do if missionary
should come over from Brooklyn and
build q nice biz house to preach in?"
DRY Goldfish in it,"
"Did you ever hear of hell?"
"Only when Cap. Skidmore talks OF
New Jersey"
Where do you expect to go to when
you die?'
Go to pieces"
"Well, all I've got to say, old mar, is
that we propose to send over some civil
izers and evangelical fertilizers from
New York. and"
From New York?' murmured the old
man.
"Yes, from New York."
The old man moved a few PAGES down
the road. Then he paused and looked
again at the seventh ward man atten.
lively.
"From New York;" This in a surprised
and querulous tone.
"Why, yes. What is it you are driv'
ing at?"
"IIal hal Shepards fold. Starving
widows and children, he, he Boss Kelly
crime, blood, and corruption. Evangeli'
cal fertilizers no, no! and all from New
York 1t makes me tired" and with sew.
eral wierd, sepucheral chuckles, the old
heather ambled up the white and clam
sheled road.