davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-07-07
SADDLES AND HARNESS.

F.sIMP<ON keeps full line o Saddles
u Collars and Harness. Al repair WORK neaIly
aud promptly done. Shop opposite IhOmpsons
st Bile, on Reservoir street, east of Gay. VIII be
pleased to have you calE
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-07-07
TUT IS
PILLS
A DlSoRDERED LIVER
le The RAAE -

Of the present generation. It Is for the
Cure Of this disease and its attendants,
sICK-HEADACHE, BILIOUsNESs, DYS
PERSIA, CONSTIPATION, PILES, etc., that
TUFTS PILLS have gained worldwide
reputation. No Remedy has ever been
discovered that acts so gently on the
digestive organs, giving them vigor to as
simulate food. As natural result, the
Nervous system Is Braced. the Muscles
are Developed, and the Body Robust.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-07-07

Rev. G. w. RICE, editor of
the Ame,zean Christian Re-
wezo, says of Browns Iron
Bitters:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
CHINESE CONVERSION.

\ missionary just returned from China says: Il am disgusted with the Chinese
 For wears l have laboted among them. and have realized that they are lost. \ Chlnaman is So sci III his way that it r, impossible To change him. Why ln the capital \. nation do you want to change him: II the ChinamAn i> satlticd with the religion which was handed down tn him. why attempt to change his bchef: Let him %. The church |, spending a great deal of money m trying ,o convert the international laundr,man. but if cl,il- lkation has ever been m the least advanced through such agency 1t must have been <, very long time ago. The Chinaman iS enjoying pretty good health. l. may be true that he eats rats. Hang h;m ict him ca, rats. The Americans eat ,ripc. and no one of refined taste can say that tripc Is more .csthctc than rat. The money expended in Chinese conversion is thrown away. The Chinaman had his idea of re- hgion long before the dawning of the Christian era. Alter an eNperlmen, of three or four thousand year, he ought to know whether or not h,> idea ofl future life suits hun. line goes Ia the or,ho- do> place of everlasting ,ire and k brell- cd. the democrats will not be held fc,- pon>ible. The first step taken by | con- vertcd Chlnaman k to come ,o America and mary white women. Poor wo- man. Poor Chlnaman.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
THE KINDEST ADVICE

It IS vcry nearly tune for some fresh
 magazine writer to contribute an article
 with statistics. shown that l, was inpos- siblc for Shakespeare io have written the plays and sonnets attributed ,o him. Thi, IS the class of literature mostly indulgcd in by the college graduate. who k dis appointed with the result of his own cdu- cation. and who attempts Ia prove that onlN l nNersity man could have writ ten Shakespeare. The graduate will continue to md tha, his education has been false: that his tutors a> rule ire unknown ln the world of letters. and that
 Il is originality instead ai imitation tina, gains recognition. Each graduate con siders himself literary critic and journalist. He Is literary critic so far as his limited idea covers the ground and is journalis, well k journalist in a horn. Superior education k mag niticeni polish. but poor wood can be polished. Polished oak Is harder and stronger than the raw material. Polished sycamore Is weaker. If you are syc- amore. young man. do net ,ry to take the place of oak. If you are best fitted for journalism, why go 10 farming. for 1t IS natural 10 suppose that your young judgment is in error. fyou think tha, you would make good farmer. work in a tan yard. you think that you would be a success in a tan yard. peddlc soap.
 This advice does no, COS, you anything, if you borrow the paper. |, may be Of great value 10 you. IL may keep you from engaging in business for which you are not qualified. But above all.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
THE PROFESSIONAL JURYMAN.

l There is broad room for i'm
 provemcnt in the Arkansaw Jury
 system. Men who woui,i f'1-.>i-
 competent jurors shun the dut, and
 men who are incompetent seek the oblisa
 tions. Hence. the JurEsT Is man of very
 little intelligence. The lawyer, have
 learned by some sort of crooked eNpe-
 pcrienee. ,o objec, to intelligent mcs. There IS d certain class eflawyefs. know ing tha, ,o gain a case they must appeal to passion and prejudice. object to eY- cry clear minded man. The jury system of every state is bad. but il seem, that n Arkansaw Il is Il litric worse than !, e.ln possibly be in other states. he judges are powercss to remedy the evil. They sit. with wcaricd expression. and allow tae lawyers to have their own way. The professional Juryman is an lndAid- aal who Is rarely disabled. Cyclones sweep over the country. but the professional Juror s uninlurcd The judge. in his subdued way hopes that the luror has been killed. but next morning. when court is callcd there he is. throa- lng off lcsal lore to 4 crowd of illitera,e admirers. Then the disappointed judge looks forward to 4 fire or another cyclone. m the modest; and subducd hope that the professional Juror will be killed but when the disaster comes. good men are killed and the Juror escapes unhurt. The IuiY- man never hopes to be anything but Juyman. In his earlier days he may have aspired to the position of q steward in 4 ladies benevolent hospital but as years rolled on and his experience ripened. he chose the profession uf .' Iurymansm The oldest inhabitant does not know whcr profcssioal inry- man wa> buried. During the war il wa> re- ported that Jaryman had been killed. but an investigation proved that I was only a witness Even th.s w.a cncoilrl- gng. but Il was I disappointment after all. The Juryman chews tobacco and >lobers on his 9hir, front. He does not buy the tobacco but berrons il. without interest. from the lawyers. The profess ienal luryman has l clear way of showing how he was instrumental in man guilt -r innocence. Coming down to sttet question of ,eracity. the ruth |, not found m the professional lurNmau. nor doe, lntelh -ence clam seat in his mind. line were intelligent. he would not be a pro- fessional lurvman
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
THE JoINTED SNAKE.

Now that the question of the hoo, snake has been settled. ii is appropriate that the jointed snake should be dis cussed. There are great many people who do not believe that the pointed snake exists. These people make a mistake The jointed snake Is an actual character This species of reptile at first sight does not present the appearance of loose con- struction. but when he IS in the least mo- tested. he flies all to pieces. He does not command as much respect as the hoop snake. on account Of his loose habits. bu, as cur osiiy. itis difficult to rival him. Some time ago in Arkansaw, Senator WalkeT. while walking around on the top of the Boston mountains, constructing the men tal draft of his next great speech. Jointed snake fell from q high rock in iron, of Inc distinguished gentleman. Mir. Wal- kcr impulsiycly struck the reptile with his cane. The snake separated into about sixty pieces. The Senator knew that he had found curiosity, and picking up a portion of the serpent. he wrapped l, in his hand kcrchiet. put t in his pocket and continued his media,ing stroll. One day in the senate. several weeks after.
 
 wards. while the Senator was making a speech on the chinese question. he fell something pulling at his pocket. Look ing down he discovered the other parts of the Iointcd snake. struggling to cap ture the section which the Senator had wrapped in his handkerchief. The per severance of the snake challenged his admiration and taking out the de- layed section. he presented il to the snake amid the applause of his oontem- poraries. Some people may think tha; this IS a lie. and perhaps i; Is. bu; il illus trates how thoughtful Senators are of their constituents.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
MORE NEWSPAPER TROUBLE

The editor. born Q; woman. Is of few days and full of trouble. The other day John B. Gaines. editor of ,he Louisville 1T ori8 and Col. Sears editor of the E7'l'nin. P0s;. mo, on inc streets and empued their re- vollers at each other \ow If thev had met on a revaver and empiied street al, each other. the resul, have been more satisfactory. Col. Sears was shot in the foot. and dislnteresied man. who stood d sher; distance away. suddenly became
 interested bN rceeiv!ng Il shot in the arm. Col. Sears legs were not injured, but the fac; of hls beng wounded in the foot. proves tha, Mfr. Gaines was drawing a New Orleans slaughterhousc ann. Prob ably the size of Col Sears foot suggested the slaughterhouse- and prompted Mir
 Games to shoot a, II. impressed with the idea that he was killing beef. Mir. Games IS a young and impressive man. and is the emhodlnen; of that reckless ness which establishes new snapcrs
 AfalilN oat NSsti ltliic MI. NfAiHS> began the publication of len newspapers n len Kentucky towns. and the success wh.oh he attained has made him careful of his reputation. Col. Sears established sew erai publications. an advertising sheet and m organ oi horticultural society but ihls did not justify him n the following assertion which appeared few days ago :" understand tha, John Games claims 10 he ,he champlon newspaper starter in Kentucky. When Mr Giaines,days claim
 to this journalistic distinction. he simply goes too far. l can start fve newspaper. 10 his one. can start 'em ali around him. When Gaines read the platform which the colonel had unanimously adopted. he became angry. and offered the following resolution: '' Resolved tha, can start more newspapers in second than Sears can m month ;hat Sears V ould be better as bung starter than as
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

THE question of producing rain is now being agitated by the scientists. The idea is by no means new. for raln-makers ex- isted long before the sun forever sat on Ihc gioTies U: ;i.. ;ii..e CT hefnre the young man was advised to go in the opposite direction. The ancient rain-makers re- sorted to drugs and charms. The scicn- tlsts of to-day propose to produce rain by the firing of cannon. For several years 1t has been observed that ,he fifth of Euly IS invariably a rainy day. This is un- doubtedly caused by hre-erackcrs and other combustible enthusiasm. The in- auence nf these explosives IS so strong that in anticipation of atmospheric agi,a- ton. clouds gather and produce rain on the third of July. There is only one thing more to complete this scientific arrange men,. Thunder can be easily produced but lightning Is an article of difficul; manufacture. This IS why a storm on the stage Is not successful. It IS mere amuse- ment to produce stage thunder by striking 4 kind of shee,-iren fender. but the man who produces the lightning occupies an unenviable position. Bu, science Is work ing wonders and II IS now discovered that the electric light can be used Il is proposed ,o erect tall tower in every agricultural district. and to plant at the base of tine ;o~er heavy piece of artil- leH. When rain IS needed, il is proposed to ire the cannon and turn on the electric light. l, IS thought that in the near fu- ture. droushts wll be unknown.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

whether or not you borrow the paper. do not say that Shakespeare did not write himself The idea tha, Bacon wrote Shakespeare is as empty as the idea that Mir. Tilden wrote tunius hoa-may as tonish few school teachers who have advanced the same idea. but the public generally will only consider you fool. Don't declare tha, Shakespeare was ig- norant because Ben Jonson said that he knew little Latin and less Greek. Horace Greedy knew no Latin and less Greek. vet NIT. Greedy was not ignorant.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

THE Little Rock Ga-ffe'5 editorial last Friday on the Egyptian situation. is the finest piece of currca, event literature ever published in the State IL was more than an edtorial; it IS an essay Ne say was. in referring ,o editorial and Is. in speaking of essay. for an editorial lives bu, one day. while an essay does no, die. In the sher, space of less than half a cell nmn. there Is a condensation and yivlfv- ing of history; a rapid bui brilliant paint ing-a shipment from a mental ware hossc richly stored. Such an article is not produced in a day: wears nf study can alone be the paren, of such m offspring. Political writers acquire a force. kind of chop wave declaration strength and compactnesS which the more polished writers do not acquire. Whea such strength and polish are combined the vii ter is indeed well equipped. But Nhy. simply because , man is edi;or of po- lltieal newspaper. should he dwarf his ac- qulrcmcnts by simply writin: on poli,,- cal subjects: If editors generally would write on subjects aside from state debt. conventions and the chances ef favored candidates. newspapers would be more interesting and far more instructive.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

I'm Arkansaw editors have returned from the northern cNeursion1 They came back one a; d umc and the worse for wear. Their cheap dus,crs were wrinkle,l and their clothes were solled. Editorial excursions never resul; iu any good to
 hotels ArkansaW editors are the most entcrprlsing cxcursionis's in the tniicd States. From the prcscn, outlook there is no hope that the mAn wha ins;jsatcs the cNcurs,ons MI die.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

BI MATCHMAKING a corpse seems to be hailed with admiration on the Paoihe slope General Roscerans has been rcnouinaied for eensres>.- Het Np,fr<'s H0yss >hef.
 Hlaeksuardism k ,he machinery of polite, any way, you know. The sacred dust of honorcd dead. the pufcst virtue of life nothing is safe from the grinding of is mcreiless eog-wheels. Some men who would soorn individual dishonesty will steal for party. |; fs sad state of affairs. but there Is no remedy.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

THueYpipE> sad that Il was not a disgrace to acknowledge poverty. bu, that II was more of disgrace not ,o exert oneself 10 rise above il. This was terri ble slam en the ancient tramps who yearly piled between Rome and Carthage After this declaration by the great historian. the lunch hand out; became less frequent and at last being unable ,o sell themselves politically the tramps were compelled ,o work The down. faIl If Greece dates from that tune. Modern college professors may attempt, to teach you differently. but as minister of Charles l. remarked, ar should have re- marked. put not your trus. in professors for in them there Is no intellectual saliva ton. This glimpse of history caugh, by accident will Re of grea, benefit to the student who should remember that the ARKtNSAw TS,vrl ER is for sale by all responsible ne~sdealers
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

SKETCHES from Zsras ,Sifhsgs." is the title of new book now in press. The work will contain large number of the humorous sketches written by Sweet X Knox. editors of the Sifnngs. and will be profusely illustrated. The book will. of course meet with a large sale, as the originality and richness of it's humor can- not fail to find appreeiauve readers. Price. SO cents.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

IT is said that Bismarck smokes a half pound oftobacco per day. This should not cause aa increase m the use of the weed. as Bismarck's tobacco does no, cos, him anything.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

I'll. Arkansan republicans. il. their platform accuse the democrats oi all kinds of political meanness. If they had hoped to draw strength from the demo- cratic ranks. they would no doubt have been milder in their expressions. With the weaker party. concilia,ion is the better policy. By conciliation few votes may be drawn from the majority.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

\ NtwspEALtR writing from TcNas. says; The people like your paper be- cause il is of the higher order and k no, filled up with slang. The sARSANsAa rgsy..ss k published for the best classes. It proposes 10 adhere to gram mar and idiomatlc decenoy. Aside from dslineation of character, slang does no; ind place in its columns
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

AN approprIa,'on io improve the Arse nal grounds. a, Little Rock. has been made. An improvement of the place has been made without an appropriation. The present officers, Col. Bainhridge and Major Sinclair. are decided improve
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

A CrLrnRArlp mathematician has de- olared ,ha, president oi the United States will be ass.rsina,cd every sixteen years. This fact $ piece oi useful infer- nation. We shall choose our own time to be president
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

QUITE q controversy has arisen among historians in regard to the death of Remus at the hands of Romulus. Nearly all of the historians maintain that Remus ln- suited Romulus by stepping over the wall ot Rome aud was killed with a white oak club. One prominen; man. however. says that when Remus stepped over the wall Romulus decided al once to destroy him. and accomplished his murdcrous purpose by pcrsuading his brother to take drink of whisky. jus, brought from a ncighbor- ing prohibition town.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

.A> Asken ,ay. coroayf -ctu,ed ,o hold an inquest over the reinain, ot ] man be- cause inc deceased owed him htty cents. ,' No sir" he said to he county ,udsc = sworc@aat I'd never nave any more business ,ran>actlons with that fellow, and won't"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

THE American navy has from -iIne e time been slahdered. 1T is not patriotic ,o depreciate our institutions. I; is the most wonderful navy in he world. 4 years bombardment would no, inJrre <. In fact, i, would help the thing.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

Tnt Mexicans have again begun to murder American ciufens. They have begun rather carly m the season and as the crop prospects are good. the weld may hc greater than during any previous season
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

THr circulation of the ARkA$SAN TRANtItk is rapidly increasing in Texas. This proves that the northern papers have sian dcred that state.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

"GREfNR.cki>M k 7 aning ground" says an exchange. Nes. the men who advocate the supposed doctrine are gain ing ground. About slx feet as an aver ape
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

Tit newspapers are presenting a new pictxre of Mrs. Lydia F.. Pinkham. The new picture is much more in keeping with the great woman l, looks more like c1,rr,Se
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

X young lady treasurer of an Ohio re- lief association has run away with one thousand dollars She used to keep the lemonade well ai 4 church fair.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

NEBRASKA is getting ready ,e adopt prohibition. and an eastern capitals, is preparing to inves, two million dollars in jug factory. to be established in that
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
Kcpetr fully
CHE>IrR \. ARrHUR K

K Arkansaw the las; legislature k al ways the worst and the next will alway, be the best, The legislatures of northern states rarely attract attention. No one pay, any attention ;e the legislatures of New England. Sessions of the Arkansaw Legislature ss attract at,en- ton all over the country This ns---l l--- heeaase the-n"ahern banker cN- pec,s the Arkansaw legislature ;o declare that eaon >kias shall pass a> currency. If he @erc to keep up with the political news of the day he would md that lis useless te stand ln dread of the coon skin shock for the State bank ceased operations years
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

IT ,A,d ,ha: the country prosperity is gaugcd by lfoa. l; may also be said that the eountry's misfortune k gauged bv steal
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

I'm Rev Dr. Hicks says that Ciutcau's : poem. :" I'm gong h the l.ordy" is a wonderful production, equal ,o anything ever produced by Whittier. Dr. Hicks. il will be understood is d fnc literary critic. It is said ,ha, in his scrap book k the following beautiful poem. written by a coored murderer who was hung in Arkansaw several months ago. "Isc s~ine >,ratch, ter heabtn.
 Come cr long.
 1',c elinhin' up dr rope. hear mA song
 Halielujtl come CT fiin Jack
 Round ID corn
 Hallclujah con,c ! m crack
 Gone shure'> Nrr born
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

THt New York NRn says that England is al Iast n earnest, Well. yes. Alcxan- drla thinks su.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

starter of newspapers and be il further resolved, tha, Sears will be compelled 10 personally account to me for the disgrace ful manner in which he has handled my name
 This declaration of principle caused the alteration. The man who was shot in the arm while buying vegetables. de- clares that he can take cabbage-slung- shot and run both of the combatan;s out of town.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

HrNRY WARD BEEcHrR said 1t is awonder ,o me thar newspaper men be lieve anything" Keep quiet. Henry they don't.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16
MIDSUMMER NIGHTS REvELRY

ScESE-LIni< R.ck id=es;s ofice TIxE- Night \ company of gentlemen are assem- bled around table covered ~ith clipped ice and wine lt seems 10 be some kind of celebration. Snfns<e- What ho. good company by the buttons on The eoa, that Thomas Jefferson used 10 wear. t.rt Us if; our glasses high and drink To the health and wealth of our business
 pians Which, like clustered grapes beneath the glow Of sun and gleam of moon do brightly rIprn, An gentlemen. drink ye one and all. For by the power, that some men great are
 made And others small are thrown out from the
 molds. Oar plans are laid ,o make the country howl: And by the ia .nrl skirt worn bs Diana And hy th- horns of every brindle COW hat lashes flies on Pine Bluffs spacious
 commons I'm gong giye the ,hrob of actual life To this great and giant enterprise. C.rsar. fia,o. Jumbo. ali the res, Come boa your heads and hear .i> fos4i
 n!bbs. Hy my coupons. from uheneely dos, thou
 hal B, my Roman nose boa darcst ,hoa ask Wei aa~ b, Joses own syndicate If hhis amt high and double pointed cheek bi1i no' weld UP ten thousand ductt, = S,gik4e.- Hush, hush, Dossic quiet man. pray. Ea- ,l44.s .i Doe not understand the wass of ifr You could not n twelve month make him W.h, l should borrow money. othcr men Gan borsoN all they want yba know. my
 friend. And no, the sliehtcs, kind os kIck |, made. Bat " hen borrow one-f8Gfth of \ hat nrcd The people howl and rcnd their neither
 oloihc> 0if .Sse7.tr- kF. ht ;ite ~ 4y mos; noble Colonel. Since s't,.e brought the >uhjec, ,o the lig't Blamed II don | want to know. seu know. M. from the holders of iilega, bond> fo- u euc ,~oop ten th41,.sad dnElfs b0f=
 ro" Haven, a righ,. my fr,ena ,o borro~ .)id 17so.s,- Al incn have a risht To borrow. Colonel. But hs my plow share. what want To know k N hat l.ck of business caused those men To
 lend | 04: E9[y- N atic tfe suhJcc;'S nf I'd iik, ty, s,,.,,, l. thIs here paper d demoeraile sheet or do ;ic RadS no~ yiAim TOUT mighty quill W hen BrnNcf took hls Iourae. io the North. The man whp spread he ink whlc hc ~a>
 gene Nhnr@a-hed Dorsey aad upheld the gang Here allow n1r for all ,ime ,o saY l hii .til men who make ,neh a clam !, that Shan tx. naked trui: and simply ie o.d E.St- Don't you say. s.r tha, ;e.! :. l.e: Sm,f6,e- ,a, ,h., by the sqant iu lIlea'> ,.tg Thou Hest Akr the man Nha catches ;l>i. CT like the man ala kills the biggest snake. MaJor Newman. which way mus, dodge. Dot Paesas- Ny friends. 'hink ~s are al seuns drunk. I'm never drunk sir, only when I'm sick. Das Ptsi7t- You are no, then feeling ~cll tonight. Nfs-TGr-- tHie. -Yon be, ,aur life @c're ali good
 friends. the same. tai .N~,ififr-- Ice ~ork Is now proceeding swim hic in
 ingiH. -Nr.s Colonel Smitfcc gimmv Nour han ,Ie lov. pa>>o>. just Tor kind nt Joke xon knoA. Lend inr auc1t> like VOL d;i Inc Colonel, I.5 Pc,s.'e-- fear n,e,hink>, couldn', ser tsc joke. .>,4;.tee- I pray thee gentle New he man. do not
 leave me. NJ, head k heavy and fam would sleep.
  The dark winged bird of sleep lowered CT
 the scene. Ant. none iaa soon. for Gods. tie wi4.. N, 4>
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

Tn flet that AfkansAw has three can ii,iale, i..ft .s3sefnor >h"nid no, prove dctriment ta immigration.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-07-16

In rye cop nj lIfnois i. said to be yer, large The rye crop in Iowa has been badly damaged.