The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-08-06

The Vicar; Got your grandson with
you to-day, Mrs, Browne Mrs Brown.
Eyes, sir Schoolmaster amt well, yer
see, sir, an 'e's give 'em a 'oliday sir;
SO ! ses to mesclf SEES, n bcy0otiiul
time to have two of is teeth drawed.
sir"
Thousands of immigrants arriving
daily in New York immediately leave
Tor the West, and many persons won
der where they all find employment.
Inc fact is, they merely take the places
OF those Western people who are blown
away by frightiul tornadoes.
us there such thing as luck Pn asks
correspondent There is. For in
stance If you 90 home at two o'clock in
the morning, after promising your wife
TO be IN early, and find her asleep and
don't tumble over any chairs, that's
luck but it isn't to bcdepended on
Gomgom, junior, who has only been
married few days, happened in COM
pany with his wife, to pass near bee
hive. The bees stung bis wife, and
Gomgom, instead of plying her. said.
How intelligent are those bees, NV
dear, to know that we are in our honey
NOON
A father complained bitterly of the
way his children destroyed their cloth
ing. He said: when | was boy
only had one suit of clothes, and had
10 take care Of it. was only allowed
one par Of shoes year in those days.
Ihen the oldest boy spoke up and said:
81 say, dad, you have a much easier
time OF II now-youare living with us.'
A young lady who had been married
a little over a year wrote to her father
in this city, saying I'VE have the dear
lst little cottage in the world. ornament
ed with the most charming little creep
erS you ever saw The old man read
the letter and exclaimed, Twins, by
thunder
"Are you going to take that ugly pug
dog with you again, Carrier asked
Charles. Il really believe you take
him simply to make yourself look pref
tier by the contrast Don't be Jealous
OF poor Pug, Charley replied Carrie.
II II take YOU some time when | want
to look especially handsome
A young lady Of Harlem was recently
noticed by her mother to be fonding
and kissing a pet kitten. "Whv, MARY"
said the mother, you have kissed that
kitten more in five minutes than YOU
have me in five years Don't YOU
know why I'd rather kiss the kitten
than you, mother?' mo, my child"
You haven't got whiskers!'
An Equiyocal Compliment. Pm so
glad to meet you here, Capt Spinks
and so glad you're going to take me in
to dinner" Capt S. is delighted.)
You're about the only man in
the room my husband isn't likely to
be jealous off, Capt. Spinks' delight
Is no longer unmiXed.)
A French Spectator, who has lust
been ruined, meets one of his pals.
And what are You going to do now?'
inquiries this person. do? there's
nothing left for me but the other
world!' My dear fellow, Kill Your
self?' Kill myself? sail for New York
TO morrow that's alp"
There are a number of circumstances
that will take the conceit out of man.
and one Of the chief is, after taking a
turn up the street and Judging by The
way they look at you that YOU are max.
Ing a stunning impression on the girl,
to find on your return that your hat has
been on wrong side foremost all the
time
They Were talking of the innumera-
ble caravan Of colored men now passing
to the tomb who had once been coach
men to the Father of his Country.
Brown said they were one and all inn.
posters You wrong them" said Fogg:
why, can show YOU man. a friend
of mine, who has seen Washington.
Nonsense" said Brown, I'm bet
YOU something on that" What shall
it be?' asked Fogg "A dinner for
three Done Fogg retired, return
ing moment later with a youngish-
looking fellow Here he is" said Fogg.
What" cried Brown, "do YOU mean
to say you have seen Washington?'
80, yes, was the quiet reply-"lived
there two winters" Brown paid for the
dinners without whimper.