Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-06-14
AT THE BAKSER's.

Do any VI your cuSto5uers ever Iaii
asleep in the shaving-chair p
"Oh, dear, yes," replied the barber,
Ticking off an intrusive morsel of soap
suds. "That often happens in the cold
weather, when men appreciate the
warmth and comfort of the saloon after
coming in from the street. When see
an elderly fat gentleman coming down
stairs with toothpick in his mouth I
know l am going to have trouble, so
shave quickly and talk to him all the
time, making remarks that call for re
ply, and occasionally splashing the suds
into his eye or getting the shaving
brush into his mouth. or course he
doesn't like it. But it's the only way to
keep him awake. Worry him, sir, worry
him all the time. Keep stirring him up.
There are men, though, who will go to
sleep in spite of me, lolling back in the
chair and drawing the skin of the throat
80 tight that it's almost temptation to
cut into it. They shut their eyes at
once, and only grunt when ask if
Guiteau he's got new trial, or cut
piece off them, or stick the brush in
their mouth but they're sound asleep
when I've finished shaving them,
and they get angry and swear when j
wake them.
cit is wonderful, too, how much
trouble some of our customers take, un-
der the impression that they are helping
us. When man takes his lower lip
into his mouth aud draws the skin over
his chin until it is tight as drum he is
adding considerably to our trouble, and
the slightest carelessness on our part is
sure TO cut him. 1t is much easier to go
over loose skin than tight one.
Now, if you will just blow all that air
out Of your cheek / shall shave you
quicker and more safely. Thank you.
You'll look younger with your whiskers
off."-Nea0 York Sun.
ELECTRICyTr.
Prof. Tice is an authority on electric
ity, which he claims to be the motive
power of the universe. Everything"
he says, sis moving nothing stands
still, nothing is stationary, the moving
impulse being electricity. 1t moves
your hand, it moves all the planets in
their orbits. According to some, the
Creator hurled those vast obs into space
and they were set moving, but the prim-
tive impulse was electricity, the prime
cause of all motion. It is unquestiona-
bly, the motive power. We have the
earth moving eighteen miles and six
tenths in a second, around its orbit
electricity is the cause. Electricity is
convertible into light and heat, and the
time will come when electricity will be
our fuel. But there is no way Of storing
it up for use. It has been given out in
the public press that some one is storing
it. That is an impossibility. If he has
done anything he has some chemical
clement that will not act on something
else. Electricity will have to be evolved
by either decomposition or recomposi-
ton, which must he done before electric
ity is evolved. Water will become the
source Of fuel; the lakes and rivers win
be reservoirs Of fuel wherever you have
a cheap method OF producing electricity.
Electricity is the soul of the universe.
You can't tell what it is any more than
you can the soul of man. Your pro-
fessors know nothing about it, except
what they get from books. The so-callei
scientific men retard instead Of ad-
vancing truth. The whole theory of the
old lightning-rod is wrong. They try to
accomplish an impossibility."