Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1882-12-22


Say. are you a Mason, or q nodfsI.
low, or anything2" asked the bad boy
OF the grocery mar. a. he went to the
cinnamon bag on the shelf and took
out a long stick Of cinnamon bark to
chsE+
Why yes, Of course / an: but
Whit set you to thinking Of that9"
asked the grocery man, as he went te
the desk and charged the boys father
with halt pound Of cinnamon.
Well, do the goats bunt when you
nishiate a fresh candidase?'
mo, Of course not. The goats are
cheap ones that have no life, and we
muzzle them and put pillows over
their heads, 50 they can't hurt any
body" says the grocery man, as he
winked at a brother Odd Fellow who
was seated on q sugar barrel looking
mysterious But why do you ask?"
70, nuthin, only | wish me and my
ohum had muzzled our goat with a
pillow. Pa would have enjoyed be-
coming a member Of our lodge better.
You sec pa had been telling us how
much good the Masons and Odd Eel.
lows did, and said We ought to try and
grow up good, so We could jine the
lodges when We got big, and | asked
pa if it would do any hurt for US to
have a play lodge in my ROOM and
purtend to nishiate, and pa said il
wouldn't do any hurt. He said it
would improve our minds and learn
US to be men. So my chum and me
borried a goat that lives in a livery
stable, Say, did you know they keep
a goat in a livery stable 50 the horses
won't get sick? They get used to the
smell ot the goat, and after that moth
ing can make them sick but a glue
factory. | wish my girl boarded in a
livery stable, then she would get used
to the smell. ! went home with her
from church Sunday night, and the
smell Of the goat on my clothes made
her sick to her stummick, aud she
acted just like an excursion on the
lake, and said if | didn't 70 and bury
myself and take the smell out of me,
she wouldn't never go with me again.
She was just as pale rs a ghost, and
the preparation on her lip was Just
ait she had been hit by a street sprink-
Ter. You see my ohum and me had 10
carry the goat up to my room when
pa and ma was out riding, and he
blatted SO We had TO tie handkerchief
around bis nose, and his feet made
such a noise on the floor that we put
One baby socks on his feet. Gosh,
how frowsy a goat smells, don't it? |
should think you Masons must have
strong stummix. Why don't you have
a skunk or a mule for a trade mark?
Take a mule and anoint it with Linn
berger cheese and you could initiate
aud make a candidate smell Just as bad
as a gosh darned milldewed goat.
Well, my chum and me, we practiced
with that goat until we could bunt a
picture of a goat every time. We
borried a buck beer sign from a saloon
man, and hung it on the hack of a
chair, and the goat would hit it every
time. That night pa wanted to know
what We were doing up in my room,
and | told him we were playing lodge
and improving minds, and pa said
that was right; there was nothing that
did boys of our age half so much good
as to initiate men and store by useful
: nOlidge. Then my chum asked pa if
he didn't want to come up and take
the grand bumper degree; and pa
I, lated and said he didn't care il he
/, did, just to encourage US boys in limo
cent pastime. and was so improving to
our intellex. We had shut the goat
up in a closet of my room, and he had
got over blsting. so we took of the
, handkerchief and he was eating some
, Of my paper collars and skate straps.
, We went up stairs and told pa
to come up pretty soon aud
give three distinct raps, and
when we asked him who comes
, there he must say: "A pilgaric who
wants to join your ancient order and
ride the goat Ma wanted to come
up, too, but we told her if she come
s in it would break up the lodge, cause
a woman couldn't keep a secret, and
: we didn't have any side saddle for the
: goat. Say, if you never tried it, the
next time you nishiate a man in your
4 Mason's lodge you sprinkle a little
kyen pepper on the goats beard just
9 before you turn him loose. You can
get three times as much fun to the
square inch Of goat. You wouldn't
think it was the same goat, Well,
we got all fixed, aud pa raped, and
3 we let him 10 and told him he must be
! blindfolded, and he got on his knees a
laiing, and | tied a towel around his
, eyes, and then l turned him around
! aud made him get down on his hands
$ also, and then his back was right tow
I ard the closet door, and | put the
buck beer sign right against PAL
, clothes. He was a lafiDg all the time.
and said we boys we're full of fun
as they made 'em, and We told
him it was a solemn occasion, and
we wouldn't permit no levity, and
0 If he didn't stop lafing VIC
9 couldn't give him the grand bumper
. degree. Then everything was ready
and my chum had his hand on the
7 closet door and some kysn pepper il
the other hand, and asked pa, in low
7 tones, If he felt as though he wanted
Q to turn back, or if he had nerve
enough TO go ahead and take the
9 degree. | warned him that 1t was
full of dangers, as the goat was loaded
for beer, aud told him he had time tc
7 retrace his steps If he wanted to. He
I said no wanted the whole biznesss, and
8 we eouldgo ahead with the menagerie.
! Then | said to pa that If he had deoi.
ded TO 60 ahead, and not blame us for
b the consequences. to repeat after me
the following: Bring forth the royal
bumper, and lot him bumpl' Pa re.
3 peated the ~words,and my chum sprink
ted the kyan pepper on the goats
mustaohe, and he sneezed once
q and looked sassy, and then he sees
e the lager beer goat raring up, and
he started for II, Just like a cow
e catcher, and blatted. Pa is real lat.
n but he knew he had got hit, and he
grunted, and said, "Hcll's fire, what
you boys doiDg?1 And then the goat
gave him another degree, and pa
e pulled off the towel aud got UP and
started for the stairs, and SO did the
goat, and ma was at the bottom of the
b. ofafro lotnntnU and 49, 4 .