The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Bill Nye viii Resign.

Laramie Boomerang
At the October term of the district court We
shall resign the Office of United States commits
sioner for this judicial district, an Office which
we have held so long and with such great
credit to ourself. Fearing that in the hurry
and rush of other business our contemporaries
might overlook the matter, we have consented
TO mention briefly the fact that at the opening
Of court Judge Blair will be called upon to &C
cept the resignation of one of our most tried
and true officials, who has for so long held up
this corner of the great national fabric
1t has been our solemn duty to examine the
Greaser who sold liquor to our red brother and
filed him up with the deadly juice Of the sour
mash tree 1t has devolved upon us to pinch
the soft-eyed lad who stole baled hay from the
reservation, and it has also been our glorious
privilege to examine in preliminary manner
the absent-minded party who gathered unto
himself the United States bonds.
We have attempted to resign before but
failed One reason was that it was a novel
proceeding in Wyoming and no one seemed to
know how to go to work at it. No one had
ever resigned before and the matter had to
be hunted up and the law thoroughly under
stood.
The Office is one Of great profit as we have
said before 1t brings wealth into the Golfers
of the United States commissioner in way
that is well calculated to turn the head of
most people. We have, however, succeeded
in controlling ourself, and have so far sup
pressed that beastly pride which wealth en-
genders With a salary of $7.25 per annum,
and lead pencils, we have steadily refused to
60 to Europe, preferring rather to plod along
here in the wild west although we may never
see the beauties of foreign shore
Official duty was at all times weighing upon
our mind like leaden load. Oft in the Silly
night we have been wakened by the oppress-
ing thought that perhaps at that moment, on
some distant reservation, some pale-faced vii
lain might be selling valley tan to the gentle,
untutored Indian brave, and it has tortured
us and robbed us of slumber and Joy. Now
it is relief to know that very soon we shall
be free from this great responsibility If an
Indian gets drunk on a reservation, or a time
honored government mule is stolen, we shall
not be expected to get up in the night and ad-
minister swift and terrible justice to the of
fender Old -with-a-t orpid-liver can get
as drunk as he pleases on the reservation. 1t
does not come under our Jurisdiction any
more. We can sleep now nights while some
other man peels his coat and acts the United
States Nemesis for this diocese
Sometime during the ensuing week we will
turn over the lead pencil and the blotting
paper of the Office to our successor. We leave
the Indian temperance movement III his hands
The United States mule kleptonlania also we
leave with him. With clear conscience and
an pnliquidated claim against the government
for $0.55, the earnings of the past two years.
we turn over the Office, knowing that, although
we have sacrificed our health we have never
evaded our duty, no matter how dangerous or
disagreeable.
Yet we do not ask for any gold-headed cane
as a mark of esteem on the part of the govern
ment We have a watch that does very well
for us, 80 that testimonial consisting of a
gold watch costing $3.50 would be unnecessary
Any little trinket of that kind would of course
show how ready the department of Justice is
to appreciate the work of an efficient officer,
but we do not look for it or ask it. A thor
oughly fumigated and disinfected conscience
Is all we want That Is enough for us Do not
call out the band. Just let us retire from
Office quietly and unostentatiously. AS regards
the United States commissionership we retire
to private life In the bosom of our family we
will forget the turbulent voyage of official life
through which we have passed, and as we
monkey with the children around our hearth
stone we will shut our eyes to the official suf-
feripg that is going on all around us