Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-06-21

Tm Gloss Of day-The dusky mantle
OF the night.


TIM Gloss Of dsy-The dusky mantle
of the night.
"THAr's what beats me, " remarked
boy, ~ he passed pile Of shingles.
IT is bad luck for thirteen persona 10
sit down together at table, especially
if there is only dinner enough for ten.
ArrENTIoS is drawn to the fact that
the man with the heaviest gold chain
rsuaily has silver watch at tho end
of it.
"DoN'r you love birds, Mr.. Prose-
man, and all their sweet little ways?"
81 do. Miss Gushington, dearly--on
toast"
Mr.. WALL, Of Nebraska. has eaten
102 eggs at sitting, aud says that sea-
sickness is pleasure compared to some
other kinds.
FARMER: Yes, when farmer is haul
ing silo on his farm with donkey, and
the boys make fun Of him, it is silo. jack
and the game.
To BE thirsty" is not the right way
to say it, now that technical terms are
fashionable. To "suffer from polydop-
sia is the correct thing.
The new settlers in Texas will find
plenty of elbow-room, If nothing else.
One Of them writes that he has the "Fsio
Grande for bath-tub and eli M5xIJ0
for back yard"
A YOUNG lawyer was receiving the con-
gratulations OF his friends on his state
ment that he had won his first case. II
turned out that il was case of bottled
lager, and he won it on a base ball bet.
LAWS and customs have not changed
much in 100 years after all. In 1765 the
English Parliament forbade the celebrat-
ing of marriages in America without
stamps. Now the laws Of society as ef-
fectually prevent it.
A GENTLEMAN saw an advertisement
that cure for dyspepsia might be had
by sending a postage stamp to the ad-
vertiser. He sent his stamp, and the
answer was "Dig in your garden and
let whisky alone"
"IT's my last resort, my last resort"
murmured detected looking individual
as he braced himself against q lamp post.
"What lis that2" asked sympathetic
bystander. Home" was the mourn
full reply. "Home, sweet home"
A BOY who was recently taken 70
church for tine first time had bis atten-
ton specially drawn to man in the
choir, who was playing on bass viol.
After leaving the church he inquired
Papa, what was that thing man kept
scratching on its back with stick 2"
Mrs. Awe had beautiful SER
mon this morning, didn't we?" Mrs.
B." Beautiful, and did you notice
Mrs. Smithson's bonnet?" Mrs. A.
"Notice it Well, should say did.
I couldn't keep my mind off it the whole
services. (" Mrs. B.--"Nor /, neither.
THREE men and dog were in q boat
on the ST. Lawrence. The boat cap-
sized, and the dog. instead OF saving the
men, sagaciously swan ashore and let
them drown. This is one Of the little
dog stories that will not be related in
that touching publication, sour Dumb
Animals. "--Louisviile Courier Journal.
They were speaking about cranial de-
formities down at the corner grocery.
"I hold" said fly young man. "tbat
man with big head is just as apt to be
burned fool as man with small
head" "True," repiied an elderly man
who was holding down the cover to Q
sugar barrel, "but he ginerally knows
it and don't give himself away" !" The
young man ordered a small bottle o.
spruce beer.--Nc,0 Haven Register.
Mr.. CLEMENT Cox, of Austin, is the
father of boy named Augustus, who
has been going to school for long time,
and whose head is supposed to be
crammed full Of all kinds Of knowledge.
Augustus, my fon," said Mr.. Cox, de-
string to test his boys PROGRESS, "why
do you call rat rodent" The boy,
be nding his massive brow on his hand,
thought and thought and thought FL
nally no said 81 wouldn't call o rat
anything, for il wouldn't come, no mat
ter what called il. If wanted to cal
anything, I'd whistle to dog, and IL