davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
The sahara Not a Dry Sea.

!. 1t is commended by M. P. de Tchihatcheff
that the great deserts of Asia and Africa are
not sea-beds recently made dry, but that they
had been raised at remote geological epochs,
and that their sand is not of marine origin,
but is the product of rocks disintegrated by
winds, changes of temperature, and other
similar subarial causes. He says that the
Sahara is much more modern than the deserts
of Asia He,makes the statement that on May
10th temperature of twenty-five legrees
Fahrenheit and snow two yards in depth had
been found in the Cobb at point having the
same latitude as Palermo.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
MalmaisOn to Make Room for a Plebe.
ian NEanufnctOry.

NEW 1UTk QUIZ
The sale of Malmaison to land company
for 10000, or less than one-third Of what the
late Emperor Napoleon gave Queen Christina
of Spain for it will remove another landmark
in the history of the Bonapartes Originallya
hospital, Malmaison was the dowry house of
Josephine de Beauharnais, and it was there
that she died, thus being fulfilled, according to
Lord Holland, prophecy made to her by
gypsy before she made the acquaintance of
Napoleon, that "she would be more than
queen and would die in a hospital" After the
death of Josephine Malmaison became in
turn the property of a Swedish banker, and
of the ex Queen Christina of Spain, while of
late years it has belonged to a financier whose
attempt to divide the property into eligible
building sites was a failure. This financier has
gone the way of so many courtiers, and Mai
maison is to be demolished to make room for
a mannfactorY
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
A Cure for the Imagination.

At 0 large hotel the not uncommon dilemma
Of there being only one room in the house
vacart when two visitors required accommoda-
dion for the night It was double-bedded
chamber, or was soon converted into such, and
the guests, who were both commercial travel
ers, agreed to share it One Of these gentle
man was . confirmed hypoohondriac, and
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Home Ilecorations.

Take pasteboard and cut twenty-six round
pieces two and one-half inches in diameter,
and exactly in the center Of each make per-.
eter; thread darning needle with shaded
Germantown yarn, tfrom pink to brown is
very pretty and proceed to wrap ,l,a pieres If
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Just Aeaned over and Wept.

He was bachelor, had travelled extensively,
and could speak any language dead or alive.
Hieroglyphics were nothing to him. But
when he returned home the other day, and
talked to his sisters baby, when it cried and
was paciiiod by it's mother saying; "Dld his
naughty wauty wuncle come honey and scarey
warey my little putsy wutsey-" he just
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
An Inexpensive Monument.

New York Sun
A snew grave monument" is advertised as
being @tastefully decorated and ornamented,"
the cheapest in existence" costing only IS.
1t can be delivered within an hour after it is
ordered, and anybody can set it up. 1t IL a
slab OF zinc about two feet long and seven
inches wide, set up at the head of a grave on
standards of zinc that prot1ude from the earth
some ten or twelve inches The lettering on
the picture is as follows, the blank line repre-
senting the name of the deceased person:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
The ClOture.

Cincinnati Enquirer.
The reader may have noticed something in
the foreign dispatches recently concerning eI-
forts to pass the acoture" in the house of
commons, and wondered what variety of ami
NAL il was. The cloture is bill, the object
Of which is to abridge debate. II it succeeds
. little cloture would be blessed thing in our
American congress-
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Lighting a Chinese Ironcia6-

NC" 10TH
The Ting Yueng, the formidable ironolsd
that has just been builtin Germany for the
Chinese Government, is to be lighted by 40
Edison's electric lamps This mysterious
method of illumination will probably be a.
satisfactory evidence to the magnates Of the
Flowery Kingdom that there is something In
western civilization as any that could be
furnished
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Education--Then Earning q Living.
Youths Companion.

A live, energetic boy, bent on conquerins an
education. can diminish it in many ways by
teaching, working out Of school, etc. How to
earn living after the education is gained is a
more difficult question, Emigration and the
refusal Of trades unions to admit American
boys beyond limited number as apprentices,
make it hard for lad without any capital or
influence to find standing room.
: With the increasing difficulty the require
uents for success grow higher The special
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Have solved the Problem.

A down-tow man, noted for his good ma
ture, says: whats the use Of wrangling?
Nobody can tell how easy it is to get along
without wrangling till they try Now, | like
to sleep on the front side Of the bed so does
my wife; but we didn't wrangle bout tive
just moved the bed in the center of the room
It's heap easier than wrangling bout its
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Twa lust Alike.

Mr.. Pilgider went home the other night con-
siderably intoxicated and afflicted with double
vision. He sat down for some time with his
sleepy gaze riveted on Mrs. Pilgilder, and then
quickly remarked: well (hic) hope t'holler
if you two gals don't look enuff alike to be
fhic) twins"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
How Old is the Mississippi Valley 2
Frank Ieslie's Newspaper

Geological examination of the delta of the
Mississippi shows that for distance of about
three hundred miles there are buried forests
of large trees, one over the other, with inter-
spaces of sand Ten distinct forest growths
of this description have been observed, which,
it is believed, must have succeeded each other.
OF these trees, known as the bald cypress,
some have been found over twenty-five feet in
diameter, and one contained $500 rings; in
some instances, too, huge trees have grown
over the stumps of others equally large. From
these facts biologists have assumed the an
tiquity of each forest grown at II, 900 years. or
l00,0 900 for all
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
a FIT preax

what is the name of your cat, sirg" in
quired visitor. sHis name was William
said the host @until he had fits, and since
then we have called him Fitz William"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
An Awkward Mistake.

An AWKWARD Mistake,
A gentleman addresses another gentleman,
whom he don't know, at party: @This affair
is awfully stupid; let's 60 out and take
drink. II would like to do it." was the reply,
"but can't leave very we'll" aWhy not?"
@Why, you see am the one who is giving the
narfu y
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
UNIVERSAL MURDER
[Arnold's Light Of Asia

Looking deep, he saw
How lizard fed on ant, and snake on him.
And kite on both; and how the fish-hswk
robbed
The fsh-tiger of that which 1t had seized;
The shrike chasing the bulbul, which did
The jeweled butterflies; till everywhere
Each slew slayer, and in turn was slain.
Life living upon death. So the fairy show
Yelled one vast, savage, grim conspiracy
OF mutual murder, from the worm to man,
Who himself kills his fellow
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
See Something Interesting.

Rustic critic Ito artist painting out Of
DOORS: aNow, that's real kinder material, amt
it? But what makes ye waste yer time over
them darned old ellum trees? Ye'd ought to
go right up back here onter SINNERS hill,
where ye could see something sorter interest
in'-the town hall, an the Baptis' meetin'
house, an the new brick high skule."
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21

Jinks says he knew . oney-lender who
kept the trunk containing the securities near
the head Of his bed, and lsy awake 70 hsAx
than accumulate interest
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Rolornon in Ebony.

Arkansaw Traveller
chile alters deserves whippin de mos,
when its father is outen humor. Oars a ole
saying what says neber hit boy when yel
are mad ] wouldn't give cent TO hit him
any udder time, case amt gwins to fight no
body whsn Use in good humor
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Paris crom an American Point Of
Wow.

PArks 6rOsa an American Point Of
Wow.
Henry James, Jr's, clever study in Tho
Century, of American manners and institu-
tons from The Point Of View" of Travelled
Americans and travelled Europeans, contains
by way of contrast the following criticism Of
Partisan life by an American:
1t was in Paris, however, that | got your
letter. | remember the moment as we'll as if it
were Ito my honor) much more recent You
must know that, among many places l dislike,
Paris carries the palm. l am bored to death
there; it's the home of every humbug. The
life is full Of that false comfort which is worse
than discomfort, and the small, fat, irritable
people give me the shivers. had been making
these reflections even more devoutly than
usual one very tiresome evening toward the
beginning of last summer, when, as l re-en-
tered my hotel at 10 o'clock, the little rep
tile of FORTRESS handed me your lines was
in a villainous humor. l had been having an
over-dressed dinner in stuffy restaurant, and
had gone from there to sutfocating theatre,
where, by way of amusement, saw play IN
which blood and lies were the least of the hor-
rors. The theatres over there are insupport-
sit with their elbows in your sides; they
squeeze past you every half-hour. 1t was one
of my bad moments; have great many in
Europe The conventional perfunctory play,
all in falsetto, which l seemed to have seen q
thousand times; the horrible faces of the
people; the pushing, bullying ouvreuse, with
her false politeness and her real rapaeity,
drove me out of the place at the end Of
an hour; and, as it was too early to
go home, 1 sat down before cafe
on the boulevard, where they served me glass
of sour, watery beer. There on the boulevard
in the summer night life itself was even
uglier than the play, and it wouldn't do for
me to tell you what saw. Besides, was sick
of the boulevard, with its eternal grinace and
the deadly sameness of the article de Paris,
which pretends to be so various-the shop
windows wilderness Of rubbish and the
passers-by procession Of manikins. Sud
deuly it came over me that was supposed to
be amusing myself-my face was yard long
aud that you probably at that moment were
saying to your husband: @He stays away 80
long What good time he must be having!"
The idea was the first thing that had made
me smile for a month; got up and walked
home, rejecting, as 1 went that was seeing
Europe" and that, after all, one must see
Europe
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Total D.nrayity.

Two little girls were comparing progress in
cateclism study Il have got to original sin"
said one Slow far have you got." "Oh.
I'm beyond redemption said the other.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Like Greater Thieves.

A Chattanooga darkey, who was one Of
jury which failed to convict for want OF evs.
dence, explained to his brethren thai the cur
Drit was released on s'picion.a
Michigan claims 70 have gained Sssos0 40
sstslers In her uorthsrn essueiss Mia ysAs
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
vet Nature Conauers.

A Chinaman never swears when he gets
mad, because there are no @cuss words" in his
dictionary. He simply upsets his washtub,
butts the bottom out, kicks dog, and feels
better
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21

81. H. Bancroft, historian of the Pacific
coast, has spent over $500, 900 in collecting his
private library. He is an Ohio man. and
made his money in mercantile business in
San Francisco
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21

90 Commune With the Angle Worm
Most of us pass our lives in regretting the
past, complaining Of the present, and indulg
ing false hopes of the future, when it would be
vastly better to cut pole, dig sr ae bait and
90 fishing
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
witt, a Manly Grin

Commend US to man who holds his faith,
whatever it be, with manly grip, and dares
to defend it in q manly way-@speaking the
truth in Iova
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21

a man viii scoop the inside out q an ~
without thinking that tie mother Of thai sgs
e perhaps hundred miles away, in the raj,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21

Coming Money for the Hawaiians.
Hawaiian coins to the amount of 100000,
and corresponding in value and denomination
with our silver coinage are to be struck at the
San Francisco mint
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Victor Hugo on the Death Penalty.

The penalty Of death has summarized and
represented the old criminal justice of the
past 1t has been the angel of olden legisla-
sions To-day it is judged and condemned
Within the last fifty years twenty seven states
have removed it from the statute book The
governments that retain it-France alas re
sort to it as little as they can. They are afraid
and ashamed of it There is not single and
enlightened juryman who consents to sign a
verdict entailing the penalty of death. It is
no longer an angel; it Is spectre. Here the
people stop us and say the penalty of death
is more powerful than ever. The two worlds
adopt it So little is it dead that it kills
Arab is going to be shot The language sur
orises, but does not disquiet US. No. civiliza-
Zion is not barbarism; no, savagery is not
modern justice; no, civilization does not kill
man as old societies did, without exactly know
ing why; no, civilization does not commence
the great work of which the twentieth century
viii be full by deed which is an enigma for
hose who commit it and q crime for those
Who look on.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Born JUNE 2, 1868
DIED JAN. 26, 1882
pat'd Oct e 1899

The lines giving the name and dates of the
birth and death are in characters of japanned
lead fastened to the slab The fourth line
seems to be cast in zinc, and the characters are
small
The monument is designed as q substitute
for the more costly affairs in stone, which the
poor cannot afford, and as temporary mark
ing for the graves of the rich while awaiting
the finishing of permanent monuments. Zinc
is used in this monument because it is the only
cheap metal that won't rust
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
MERRY EFFIE.
Mrs. Mary D. Brine.J

Dear little Efie sat singing a song
Under the apple tree;
looked from the window and threw her kiss,
And she tossed one back to me;
And the bees and the butterflies lowered
around,
While the sunshine froicked all over the
ground
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Niagara to Dwindle to q Whirlpool.

New York Sun.
Prot. Tyndall gives some interesting views
in regard to what he terms the sproximate fu-
ture' of Niagara At the rate Of excavation
assigned to it by Sir Charles Lyell. namely,
foot year, Prof TyndaI says that 5, 600 years
or SO will carry the Horseshoe fall higher than
Goat island, and as the gorge recedes, it will
drain, as it has hitherto done, the banks right
and left of it, thus leaving q nearly level ter
race between Goat island and the edge Of Inc
gorge; higher up it will totally drain :he
American branch of the river: the channel
will become cultivable land; the American
falls will then be transformed into 8 dry preci
pice. forming a continuation of the cllfy
boundary of the river Niagara, and, lastly, al
the place at present occupied by the fall, there
will be whirlpool
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Down with the Telegraph Poles.

New York Herald
The telegraph, telephone and electric Ugh,
companies, which are disfguring the streets
and avenues of nearly all of our leading cities
and towns, attempt to defend their outrageous
action by declaring that the underground wire
system is still dangerous and doubtful e1-
pertinent Nearly all the telegraph wires in
Germany are under ground, and the expert
ence of the companies and of the govern
ment there is all in favor of the plan which
meets with SO much opposition here. The
making some experiments in this direction.
and it is needless to say that they are entirely
successful This is question which must be
taken up by New York in the very near future.
The unsightly poles, no matter to what som
pany they belong, must come down, and the
wires must be put under ground
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21

why is my gal so merry to-day,
And why is her heart SO Lightly"
Ny little one lifted her face to me,
And threw back her curls so bright:
Don't know, Mamma, but guess" said she,
THAT sunbeams are creeping inside of me-"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-12-21
Revnard xns Correct.

leopard and q fox had o contest a. u
which was the finest of the two. The leopard
put forth his numberless spots; but the fox
replied, at is better to have versatile mind
han n variegated body"
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1882-11-16
SAVING THE TRAIN.

The usual crowd of autumn liars had
gathered together in the store occupy
ing all the grocery seats-the only gross
receipts the proprietor took no pride in
when little, blear-eyed, weazen-fa-
ced individual sneaked in by the back
door, and sunk into dark corner,
That's him" said the ungrammat-
ical hummer with a green patch over
his left eye.
Who is it?" asked several at once.
"Why, the chap who saved a train
from being wrecked" was the reply.
Come, tell us all about IT," they de-
manded, as the small man crOuched in
the darkness, as if unwilling that his
heroic deed should be brought out un-
der the glare of the blazing kerosene
lamp.
After much persuasion he began:
1T was just such night as this
bright and clear-and was going hOma
down the track, when, right before me,
across the rails, lay a great beam
There it was. Pale and CHASTITY as a
lifeless body, and light as it appeared, 1
had not the power to move it A sud
den rumble and roar told me the night
express was laundering down and soon
would reach the fatal spot. Nearer and
nearer 1T approached till, just as the
cow catcher was about lifting me from
the track sprang aside, placed myself
between the obstruction and the track,
and the train flew on unharmed,"
The silence was so dense for a mo-
ment that one might have heard a dew
drop. Presently somebody said:
What did you do with the beamP"
Il didn't touch it," he replied; "but it
touched me-"
"Well," persisted the interrogation, "if
you couldn't lift it, and didn't touch it,
how the dickens did the train get over
it?'
"Why, don't you see?" said the sad
faced man, as he arose from his seat and
sidled toward the door. "The Obstruc-
tiOn was mOOnbeam, and jumped so
that the shadow of my body took it's
place, and"
Bangl flew a ham against the door;
and if it had struck the body of the re-
treating hero, there would have been
bigger grease spot frescOed on the panel.
Travellers Maga zine.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1882-11-16
FUNNY BUSINESS.
Clipped and Arranged by Our
Laughing Hyena.

Clipped and Arranged by Our
Laughing Hyena.
What nation produces the marriages
Fascination.
What workman never turns to the
leftP-A wheelwright.
Misery loves company, and so doea n
marriageable young lady.
Has it ever occurred to base ball men
that a milk pitcher is generally good
fly catcher.
"A babe," says writer, sis mothers
anchor" We have often heard that the
first thing she does is to weight Ii.
When a man says apoIogeticaIIy,
May have Just one word with you In
private, sir ?" you may be quite sure that
that one word is "Greenbacks."
Two round dozen of railroads run out
of Toledo. 1t was certainly thoughtful
in the railroad builders to afford such
ample means Of escape from the town.
A bolt of lightning struck tree in
front of Chicago alderman's house the
other night, and in his fright the alder
man remarked: "HOId on! I'll restOra
the money"
1t is a little singular, although NO
less true, that one small but well con-
structed fly will do more towards break
ing up mans afternoon nap than ths
out door racket of full brass band, no
matter who the leader is.
Scene in a police cOurt.-'cP-isOneF
how many reams of paper did you say
you stole" Seven, yer honor, three
but that's only fve." "Och' sure I'm
going for the other when get out of
this"
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1882-11-16
A MEATY SPEECH.

come now to enjoy with you the
pleasures of approaching victory, We
charge against the Republican party
that they have been guilty of wicked ex-
travagance in the expenditure of public
money. In one year a Republican Con-
gress increased the expenditure $77,-
100000. There is no excuse for the
enormous burdens placed upon the peO-
pie. They refuse to reduce unjust taxes,
because they want to spend the money
for political purposes. l favor the absO-
lutte repeal of all internal taxes. The
Government can be administered on
S250,OOO,OO0 a year, raised by custom
duties. | also favor revision of the
tariff. Three hundred million dollars
is locked up in the United States Treas
ury, interfering with business and pro-
ducing shrinkage in values. Repeal
the internal revenue entirely, and come
back to economy. The Democratic party
has learned wisdom by defeat, and there
is no fear thBt it will make trouble by
its management of the financial system
of the Government. You want Cleve-
land at Albany to bring back the ad-
ministratiOn which Samuel j. Tilden
inaugurated. [Great applausel. Tilden
and Robinson reduced the State ex-
penditure One-half. The effort to make
the Garfield men bow the knee to Ar
thur produced the victory in Ohio and
the split in Pennsylvania. | have come
from Pennsylvania to ask there be per-
feet harmony in the ranks of the Kings
County Democracy. There should be
a united front in the city and State. We
promise total repeal of internal taxa
tiOn. Wepledge the public expenditures
shall be brought down to $780, 100000
To take more than is necessary for ex-
pences is robbery. There is bright
day coming. The public lands were ac-
quired under Democratic administra-
ton. They were dedicated to those who
required homes. The Republicans have
given away 10 million acres, of which
40 millions went to corporations. This
giving away was entirely unnecessary,
and it should be taken back. The Demo
cratic party has always stood by the
laboring class, and their safety Is in
that party. We shall move on to that
victory which God in His infinite wis
dom, has shown is within our reach
Speaker Randall at New York.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1882-11-16
THREE EARS AT ONCE.

The squirrels were very plenty one
fall, and were carrying off Uncle Ma
than's corn very fast.
'Beats all how the squirrels are steal
ing YOUR corn, Uncle Nathan" said
Master Tommy. 81 saw one just now
carrying three years at once"
"ShOl nOw," said Uncle Nathan, "yOu
don't say sol Must have been pretty
small ears"
"Well, yes" said Tommy, his black
eyes twinkling; "the two on the sides of
his head were rather small, about the
size squirrels ears usually are, but the
one in his paws was good, fair-sized
One." .zsa--l--l
Tommy ran along to school, and I'm
Gle Nathan, laughing. went on with his
work, realizing that for once Tommy
had the start of him on joke.