davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

How TO SPOIL A WIFE.-Snub her in
company. .*4
Domineer over her at home.
Find fault with her in public.
Try hard to keep the house untjdy.
Be extra cross when she is tired.
Always have the last word yourself.
Boss her about her own affairs.
Never have fuel to cook your meals.
Never allow her to think her soul is her
own.
Never give in, even if you know you are
wrong.
Quarrel with her one day and humor
her the next.
Never lend a helping hand in her work
when you knew she is sick.
Never offer to stay with the children so
she can walk out with friend.
Run bills for cigars whether she has a
decent dress to her back or not. s
Vow vengeance on all her female friends,
and snub all her male friends. 4sv'
Pay no attention to the household needs;
then scold because the butchers and gro
GERS bill are so large. AZ s.I.. .t,
Give as much for billiards in a month as
it would take to furnish the parlor; then
tell her you can afford it.
Tell her as plainly as possible you mar
ried her to help her to make living.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

A PRETTY INCIDENT.-After young
child had died and had been laid in. its
casket in Auburn, New York, few days
ago, a rosebud was plucked from a neigh
boring garden and its stem was placed in
one of the lifeless hands. A day or two
elapsed between the incident and the fu-
neral ceremony. In the interval the rose.
bud In thehand of clay was seen to grad
ually unfold. When the service was held
the rosebud had become a blossom. The
phenomenon gave peculiar pleasure to the
afflicted family and was very prettily re-
ferred to by the clergyman, who compared
the unfolding of the rosebud to the bios
soming in Heaven of the new child.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

ELoPEMENT ECCENTRICITIEs.- res
ident of Buckner county, Kentucky, after
arriving at the age of so, and having been
married four times, eloped at night on
horseback with the youthful belle of the
county, was chased twenty miles by her
angry father, but got away triumphantly
and went on his fifth honeymoon trip re-
joicing.
Two young people eloped from Ripon,
Wis, to Fond du Lac, and telegraphed
back to the girls parents, MAY we get
married? Please wire consent immediate
ly, as the ceremony will be performed this
evening anyhow.
A married farmer of Knox county
Ohio, eloped with neighbours wife, and
the deserted partners philosophically OBJ
tanned divorces and were married.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01
A Pretty Story.


The New Orleans ''Picayune" publishes
clever imitation of one of the Arabian
Nights entertainments in little story
that pleasantly tells how Arab Pasha--
who at present is making more fuss in the
world than any one else-was once con-
fectioner in New Orleans. We are not dis
posed to be antecedently skeptical, but we
find it hard to picture the grim ogre of the
fellaheen in his tarboosh and mustaches
weighing out bon bons to ladies and child
dren, and perhaps sucking stick of can
dy himself. We are not altogether sold to
the advocacy of the Greek unities, but
candy and Arab do not seem to have
elective affinity for each other, and either
the candy will waste its sweetness on the
desert air, or the desert air Of Arab
would melt. dissipate and exhale, the
sweetness of the candy. It is hard to i'm
agine our Hector of the Nile as manipu-
lator of sugar plumbs gum drop mer-
chant-a persuasive advocate of marsh
mallow paste. But then we are called to
order by DAME Nature. who asks if Carl
baldi did not once make candles on Staten
Island in one of his frequent expeditionsp
Just think of it! Garibaldi making can
dies! We abstain from further objection.
Arab may have been New Orleans con-
fectioner, in spite of his warlike nose. his
cleaning eyes, his brigandish mustache.
The "Picayune" declares that Aribi. who
then went by the name of Dumonteil, serv-
ed CALAMITY in the confederate war and
rose to the rank of major. He then had his
experience in the Crescent City, which
proving unfortunate, he proceeded to
France and engaged in the Franco-Pgus-
sian war, in which he served with distin-
gnished bravery, but was unable to beat
Won Moltke. Being disguised by the de-
movement, he crossed over to Egypt, Of
fered his sword te the Khedive, and readi-
~ passed for a native, with his sWarthy
looks, and rose to Importance by practic-
ing those arts which his experience in
sweetmeats had made second nature
Now. let US fail to be cynical and believe
this lovely little Crescent City idyl. What
precious set OF buffers those Egyptians
must be who are going crazy over Arab,
the patriot, in whose veins flows the an
Gent and doggish blood of all the fellahs!
How M. Dumonteil must laugh to him
self when he receives confidential dis
patch from the Sultan, or when he tries to
bowstring the Khedive, or satiates his
gloomy rage by having Christian dogs dis
emboweled and remembers his confection-
cry shop at the corner of Canal and Bour
bon streets "a very pretty story, quo
thai
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

How MANY TOES HAS A CAT.-This
was one of the questions asked certain
class in school No. 8 during examination
week, and as simple as the question ap-
pears to be, none could answer it. In the
emergency the principal, Mr.. Brands, was
applied to for solution, and he also, with
a good natured smile, gave 1t up, when
one of the teachers determined not to be
beaten by SO simple question hit upon
the idea Of sending out a delegation Of
boys to scour the neighborhood for cat.
Several went out, and having been sue
cessful. returning board was at once ap-
pointed and the toes counted, when to the
relief of all it was learned that cat pos
sesses eighteen toes. ten on the front feet
and eight on the hind feet. Paterson Press.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01
To Young Man from the Editor of the
t "Hawkeye." - i.s

My son, when you hear man growing
and scoldlng because Moody gets $2G0s a
week for preaching christianity, you will
perceive that he never worries because In
gersoll gets 5000 night for preaching
atheism. You will observe that the man
who is unutterably shocked because Fran
els Murphy is paid $3.50 week for tenn
perance work. seems to think that it is all
right when the barkeeper takes in twice
as much in single day. The laborer is
worthy of his hire, my boy, and he Is just
as worthy of it in the pulpit as he is upon
the stump. Is the man who is honestly
trying to save your immortal soul worth
less than the man who is trying his level
best to 60 to congress? Isn't Moody doing
as good work as Ingersoll? Isn't John 3.
and society as the bartender? Do you
want to get all the good in the world for
nothing, so that you may be able to pay
high price for the bad? Remember, my
boy, the good things in the world are al
ways the cheapest. Spring warter costs
less than corn whiskey; a box of cigars will
buy two or three bibles; a gallon of old
brandy costs more than barrel of flour;
''fulhand'' at poker often costs a man
more in twenty minutes than his church
subscription amounts to in three years; a
state election costs more than revival of
religion; you can sleep in church every
Sunday morning for nothing, if you're
mean enough to dead-beat your lodging in
that way. but nap in Pullman car costs
you So every time; fifty cents for the cir
Gus and a penny for the little ones to put
in the missionary box; enc dollar for the
theatre and pair of old trousers, ragged
at the end, baggy as to the knees, and ut
terly bursted as the dome, for The Michi-
gan sufferers; the dancing lady who tries
to wear her skirts under her arms and the
waist around her knees and kicks her slip
per clear over the orchestra chairs every
night, gets 5000 week, and the city mis-
sionary gets $500 year; the horse race
scoops in $4,000 the first day, and the
church fair lasts week works twenty five
or thirty of the best women in America
nearly to death, and comes out $40 in
debt-why. my boy, if you ever find your
self sneering or scoffing, because once in a
while you hear of preacher getting
living, or even luxurious salary, or a
temperance worker making money, 60 out
in the dark, and feel ashamed of yourself,
and if you don't feel above kicking mean
man, kick Yourself. Precious little does
religion and charity cost the old world, my
boy. and when the money it does get is
flung into its face, Ikea bone to dog, the
donor is not benefited by the gift. and the
receiver is not, and certainly should not
be grateful. 1t is insulted.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01
poetry.
The Dying Infant.

Pale, motionless and silent. lay ~
An infant on its bed.
While on its face the smile OF peace,
A beauteous halo shed.
And on that face a mother gazed,
With looks of wild despair. ~
Conscious that deaths restless hand
Had fixed its signet there.
She saw alsnc the Fastening hour
When to her fond caress.
No more she might those ruby lips
With tenderest rapture press, e.,
But saw not in that placed smile,
The brighter vision seard
Which on her darling's spirit broke
To her yet unreveaPd. ~
For near the cooch an angel spread ).
His pure ethereal wings,
Imparting to that spotless soul
Unutterable things;
And Whispered soft Of anguish spard,
OF bliss immortal given, "
And all the new born senses filpd g
With dreams Of opening heaven!
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01
lie has gone to Drownville," said my
fellow detective; "he went last night"
stTO DrownvilIaI,s

lie has gone to Drownville," said my
fellow detective; the went last night"
ITO Drownyille!''
was seriously annoyed. Did Mr.. Glen.
ner distrust the accuracy of my reports9
Or did he imagine that was unable to
institute thorough and complete investi-
CATION Of the premises?
! sit is very strange" unused aloud.
Jones laughed.
"Well, (" he said, "you know Clenner has
a way Of doing strange things. Depend
upon it, he has good reasons for his con-
duct.' @4
was sitting at my desk two days sub
sequently when the door ghded noiselessly
open and Clenner himself entered.
"You are back again, sir? And what
luck?o
1.-THE BEST"
"You don't mean to say you've got
him2" $500
II do mean to say it. Edward Mer-
edith, knew could not be entirely mis-
taken. Perley Matteson is in the next
room-haIf an hour from now he will be
in prison."
"Where did you apprehend him?"
''At home In his mothers house,
"But-" ., (,
"He was there all the. time you remain
ed there. Ned, my boy, you made blum
der for once; but don't let it happen
again." ID: XII :
what do you mean. sir?'' @
For reply he opened the door of the pri-
vate inner apartment. his own special sac
tum. A slight, boyish figure leaned
against. the window smoking cigarette,
with black curls tossed back from a mar
bic white brow, and brilliant eyes. He
mockingly inclined his head as stared at
him. with motion not unfamiliar to me.
Clara Mattesonl'' 1s H'"i&
YES" he said, in soft sarcastic voice
"Clara Matteson, or Perley Matteson, Or
whatever you chose to call me! Many
thanks for your politeness, Detective Mer-
edith; and if you would like another lock
of my hair
l turned away, burning scarlet, while
Mr.. Clenner closed the door.
Never mind, my boy, it will be lesson
to you" he said laughing. "He makes
pretty girl, but I am not at all suscepti-
ble."
What double dyed fool have been! I
had lost the reward-failed in the estima-
tion of my -officers-and behaved
like a brute to poor Kitty-and all for
what?
IHent to Kitty and told her the whole
story, and to my surprise the dear faithful
little creature loved me just as well as
ever.
II won't be jealous of Perley Matteson,
Edward" she said smiling, whatever I
might be of his sister. And, dearest,
don't be discouraged. I'll wait as long as
you please, and you will be second Mr..
Clenner YETI
She was determined to look on the bright
side of things, this little Kitty of mine!-
But felt the modification none the less
keenly, although, as Mr.. Clenner said, it
would undoubtedly prove good lesson to
me. - v.s p. 1.--.
Perley Mattsson' 3 girlish beauty is
eclpsed in the States prison-nor do pity
him. The stake for which he played was
highland he ''lostl''
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

The man who helps to circulate piece
of gossip is as bad as the one who origina-
ted it, To put your fist into tar-barrel
and then go around shaking hands with
everybody is what some people like to do.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

The leading Scientists of to-day agree that most
diseases are caused by dsordered Kidneys or Liver
If, therefore. the Kidneys and Liver are kept in
perfect order perfect health will be the result This
truth has only been known short time and for
years people suffered great agony without being able
to find relief. The discovery of Warmers Safe
Kidney and Liver Cure marks new era in the
treatment of these troubles. Made from a simple
tropical leaf of rare value it contains just the ele-
ments necessary to nourish and invigorate both of
these great organs: and safely restore and keep
them in order. 1t is POSITIVE REMEDY for all
the diseases that pains in the lower part of the
body-fOr Torpid Liver-Headaches- Jaundice-
Zziness--Gravel-Fever, Ague-Malarial Fever.
and all difficulties of the Kidneys, Liver and Urinary
Organs.
It is an excellent and safe remedy for females dur
ring Pregnancy 1t will control MenstruatiOn and is
invaluable for LeucorrhGa OF Falling of the Womb.
AS Blood Purifier it is unequaled, for it cures the
organs that make the blood.
This Remedy which has done such wonders is put
up in the LARGEST SIZED BOTTLE of any medi-
cine upon the market. and is sold by Druggists and
all dealers at 81 25 per bottle. For Diabetes en-
quire for WARMERS SAFE DIABETES CURE. It
is POSITIVE Remedy.
e. Fl. WARNER & CO.
Rochester. n Y.
ian27 If
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01
0h,MyBack!

MyBack!
That's a common express
sion and has a world of
meaning. How much suf-
fering is summed up in it.
The singular thing about
it is, that pain in the back
is occasioned by SO many
things. May be caused by
kidney disease, liver COM
plant, consumption, cold,
rheumatism, dyspepsia, over
work, nervous debility, &c.
Whatever the cause, don't
neglect it. Something is
wrong and needs prompt
attention. No medicine has
yet been discovered that
will so quickly and surely
cure such diseases as
; Browns IRON BITTERs, and
it does this by commencing
at the foundation, and max
ing the blood pure and rich.
Logansport, Ind. Dec. I, 1856.
For long time have been a
sufferer from stomach and kidney
disease. My appetite was very poor
and the very small amount did eat
disagreed with me. Twas annoyed
very much from non-retention Of
urine. / tried many remedies with
no success, until 1 used Browns
Iron Bitters. Since used that my
stomach does not bother me any.
Mysppette is simply immense. My
kidney trouble is no more, and my
general health is such, that feel
ike new man. After the use Of
Browns Iron Bitters for one month,
I have gained twenty pounds ia
weight o. B. SARGENT.
Leading physicians and
clergymen use and recon-
mend Browns IRON BIT
TIERS. 1t has cured others
suffering as you are, and it
will cure you.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

HONEY FRUIT CAKE.-F our eggs, 5 cups
of flour, 2 cups of honey, teacupful but
ter, 1 cup sweet milk, 2 teaspoonsful cream
OF tartar, one teaspoonful soda, l pound
raisins, pound currants, pound citron,
l teaspoonful each of cloves, cinnamon
and nutmeg; bake in a large loaf in slow
oven. This will be nice months after bak-
ing as we'll as when fresh,
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

PRUNE PIEs.-Soak a pound of ptunes
over night so that the stones will slip out
easily; stew in some water with as many
raisins as you wish, and sweeten; use less
water than for sauce; when both are soft
CRATE in the rind Of two lemons and fill
the pie, allowing two crusts.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

A New JERSEY farmer reports that a
dressing of eight bushels per acre of salt
to land badly infested with white grubs.
enabled him to raise good crops of corn
for three years past, which was impossible
previous to this application.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

PRIDE that dimes on vanity sups on con-
tempt.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

HONEY APPLE CAKEs.-soak three
cups of dried apples over night; chop
Slightly and simmer in two coffee cups of
honey for two bours, then add one-and-
ahalf coffee cups of honey, one-half coffee
cup sugar, one coffee cup of melted but
ter. three eggs, two Irresponsible salera-
tus; cloves, cinnamon, powdered lemon or
orange peel, and ginger syrup, if you have
it. Mix all together, add the apples then
flour enough for stiff batter. Bake in a
slow oven. This will make two good sized
cakes '''t e
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

AcCUsToM your young horses that are
raised for draft purposes to walk rapidly
and to this end if there is any walk in
them, never allow them to strike trot.
1t is astonishing how rapid gait can be
developed with proper training.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

There is no such thing as wearing land
out under proper management, and the
larger the crops We grow, the better con-
dition we leave the land in for the succeed
ing crops.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

No NEED FOR ICE CREAM FRERzERs.
"A good Stanton housekeeper says she
has no need for a revolving freezer. She
just puts her cream in long tin bucket
and sits the bucket in d Esg or tub with
the usual quantity of ice and salt around
it, and then sets 1t in pantry for an hour
or two, and the cream is as nicely frozen
as patent freezer would do it. To get a
quick freeze, it is said, with an abundance
of ice and salt. if the whole thing is set in
the sun, the rapid evaporation is equal to
the patent process. That is worth trying
at any rate.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-09-01

Inay26
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-06-30
Sacramento Market-Wholesale
corrected daily for the RECORD. Uxlor.I

SACRAMENTO, June GOTH
FRUITs-Pcaches sell at 95c o ID; Apricots, 3d4c o
h; Currants by the chest S4a$5; Raspberries 10c;
Blackosnies, cultivated case; Strawberries 12G
15c; Cherries, S7GS for Black; for Royal Ann, sea
10 cooking Cherries, 3d4c q ID; Oranges. S5d6
v box; Lemons, Sicily, S9aI0; Lemons, California,
81 6O@3 box LINES. 81 2561 80 . 100; Banaras,
50 20 al 80 q bunch Pineapples,, $500 2 dozen (;
Cocoanuts s7t9s q lOo Cherry Pums, from &c to &c
2 h; Blue Plums 109l5c; Pears, 50cdS1 o box
Apples cooking, 5O@75c box; Red Astrachan, 75c
@S1 %. q
TABLn FRUrrs-Assorted, 2,.b cans, doz, 80 so !;
Peaches 60 Bartlett Pears, 81 rs Plums, g rs |;
Blackberries, So Gooseberies, 90 25 Strawberries
g %; Aprieots, 80; Muscat Grapes, 81 rs; Red
Currants, 50 rs; Cherries, g %.
PIE FRUTs-Assorted, q d cans, Q doz, q 1902 !;
assorted, gallon cans, q so; Peaches, 2l-b cans
q 80; Portland nd Blueberries, 2-ib cans, g.; Whor
tered 7Gsc pears, peeled, s9loc do, unpeeled, 6
Csc; Plums, pitted, 12@13c Peaches, i0dilc; do
peeled, le@2ec PruDes, German and French, 100
lac; BIackoerries, 2oc Figs California, 7@se o n.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Beans, 5@6c q Il: Wax and
String Beans, little scarce and selling 4(d5c; Green
corn for sweet 2Od30c o doz, and 12al5c for COM
mon; Tomatoes, by the box at 75cGSt 25 for 30 II
box; Summer Squash, 2lc e d +; Potatoes, 75aeOc
q cwt; Onions, 60q75c q cwt; Cabbage. 75c;
Carrots, 81 q cwt; Turnips, 81 q 100; bunch
vegetables, 121c q doz Parsnips lie; Beets, lie :
Celery, Zoe Q, dezen; Horse rGdish, s@10c o n ;
Green Peas, 293e D h Asparagus Ale d h: Pie
Plant, 394c q n Artichokes, 25dSoc o dozen !;
Cucumbers plenty and prices lower selling at 69ioc
y dozen; Green Peppers, 1O@l5c D N Egg Plants
15920c
DENOMINATION, s5 80 . bbl; Oatmeal. "A To
o 100 lbs +; Cornmeal 50 25d2 so Cracked Wheat az
PoULTRY-Live Turkeys, more scarce, selling at
13d1bc q ID; full grown Chickens are selling at
SO 50@7 q doz; young Roosters S4d5 SO q dog !:
BIoilens,s2 5Oa3 so; Ducks. si95; Geese, 81 5o@
u pair.
DAIRY PRoDUCTs--Butter, fancy dairy, 2s@3o, q
70 mixed lots, in rolls, 24Cd26c % h Cheese. Il9
lie; california Creamery, lac: Eastern full cream
22G23c; Eastern, flats, lie; fresh Eggs selling at
2i@25c for choice fresh lots.
AEATs-Bees, 7G9c: Mutton, 1c q h lower and
selling at 5c Pork, 9G10c; Veal, generally selling
at Sc large calves, &c.
HAY AND GRAIN -oat hay, 9 ton, s139l4 alfalfa
IS to s12 y ton; bran, g ton, s16 SO; middlings,
s22 90 per ton; barley, WHOLE q cwt, 81 60; barley,
ground, 8 cwt 81 65 wheat, . cwt, 81 80 ; tame
oats, q cwt.. 81 40; corn, 2 cSt. 81 so.
MIsCBLLASEoUs-See1s-A Alfalfa, 16@17c; limo.
thy, Eastern, 1l@12e q n; Oregon, s@
10c; Red Clover, 1691Sc; Red Top, 125@1ic
Nuts-English walnuts, 12@13c; Almonds, f7aIsc;
Peanuts, 7@11c; Wool-Market dull, holding for
higher prices; mountain, 12I@16c tule, 17@1sc
Tallow, 6g!c; Hides, salt 99l0c; dry, Isolde,
choice lots zoe; New York Hops, 35@40c; Cali.
fornia 15d30e