The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-04-14
Remedy Against BARRIERS.
BARRIERS vii talk. There is no help

/
/ for thai. Their jaws have to keep time
is not the mere talking that is annoying,
but it is what they say, and their man
ner of saying it, that nearly drives a
strong man crazy. If, for instance, a
barber were only to make such remarks
as-"what noble brow you have or,
your dome Of thought reminds one Of!
Daniel Webster or il they were to
abuse some man you do not like, the sit
ter would listen very complacently, and
some bald-headed people we know of
would wantato have the ends of their
locks trimmed four or five times q week,
just to hear what the COMPOUNDED fool of
barber had to say. The trouble with
BARRIERS is that they do not say. what you
want to hsten.to The BARRIERS will per-
sist in discovering that your hair is fall
ing out, and there is nothing in heaven
above, or on the earth below that will
arrest the fugitive hair, except q bottle
/ of each particular BARRIERS magic lotion.
Another thing that worries the barber
more than it troubles its legitimate
owner, is dandruff. AS nine persons in
/ ten have more or less dandruf on their
heads, the barber has fine field to work
in, as it were Dandruff is another
dread malady that is hurrying the I'M
fortunate man into his grave, unless he
is willing to shell out O. relunctant half
dollar for bottle of the same vile stuff
that the aforesaid barber is willing to
part with for the consideration men,
| toned.
Of course, the eloquence of thebarber
cannot be closed off entirely, as gas is
1'shut off; but the colored barber can be
temporarily discouraged. He will run
his hands through your hair and say:
!" Boss, II kin glib yer remedy for
fifty cents what will knock dat ar scurff
in yer head cold 5.s.5s
Then you say:
!" Look here, you have got one foot M
the grave. Your liver is out of order. I
can tell it by your complexion. Your
complexion is too yellow. You had bet,
ter get a bottle of Carter pills or Reeds
Gilt Edge Tonic" 5s
He will be surprised if not shocked.
| We tried that game on barber, and his
reproachful look will never be forgotten
/ while memory holds her seat. Usually
ore application is sufficient, but oc-
casionally he rallies towards the close of
the matinee, his system reacts, and he
says timidly: a
]" Yer hasn't answered my question
| yet, boss, about de bottle Of magic lotion
| for de scurfff. !" gassi
/ All you have TO do is to ask him if he
has read DR.. Pillkins' treatise on dam
druff. he will reply he has not, then
you say: sa {'ss M .es ss.s
s''Dr. Pillkins is OF the opinion that
dandruff is produced by activity of the
brain. People who have torpid brains
or no brains at all, are never troubled
with dandruff What you need is some
dandruff If you colored folks had more
dandruf in your heads there would be
more Of you in Congress- If you don't
quit curing white peoples heads of dan
druff, their brains viii dWindle away and
they will set up barber shops, and then
You viii have more competition than you
will want. = @ ia
This last dose will cure the barber OF
dandruff, falling out of the hair. and
whatever else troubles him. After the
above remedy has been applied, you can
get your hair cut ten times day, and he
! SIil never again venture to prescribe for
ssde scurff in yer head. Try it. Texas
SJtings.
-