Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-07
PITH AND POINT.

| 1A1n AND fO1NIs
LIGHTHOUSES are better appreciated
| by sailors than actors.
A YOUNG cat is kitten, but an ole
one Is q confounded nuisance.
LIQUOR works much evil, which &C.
counts for the dealers wanting to rectify
it.
WHAT word in the English language
possesses the greatest number of one
particular letter? Possesses"
THERE never was law in England
forblddlng a man to kiss his wife on
Sunday. Hprobably never was needed.
FASHION at picnic demands that a
girl should get wet sooner than hoist
an umbrella that does not match her
suit.
Ii has been ungallantly said that the
telephone does what society rules have
always been unequal to-compels women
who use it to talk one at time.
Eyes" said the farmer, "barbed-wire
fences are expensive, but the hired man
doesn't stop and rest every time he has
to climb it. "-Salenl Sunbeam.
PRINCESS BEATRICE now manages the
royal establishment at all the palaces,
and will not marry anybody. Next
thing you know, that woman will buy o
cat.
A GIRL who sets out to look graceful
In hammock has as much work on
hand as the man who tries to be lam
guild. with saw-log following him down
hill.
WOMAN as we'll as man is fond of
hitting the right nail on the head: but
when it happens to be her fnger-nail,
her enthusiasm becomes wild and in
coherent.
THERE young lady called Nancy
Who for bric-a-brac had such fancy
That family jar
Twixt her par and her mar
Delighted the soul of Miss Nancy.
"MY brethren" said Swift, in a SER
mon, "there are three sorts of pride
of birth, of riches and of talents. T
shall not now speak of the latter, none
OF you being subject to that abomina-
bic vice."
"YEs, stranger" said the native of a
hobbledehoy Western village, "five year
ago this hull place were a wilderness;
nothing but perarie grass and red In
juns. Now, stranger, there be twenty
men in that jail over yonder, and forty
more in the poor-hus. It's a CROWN
town, you'd better believe, stranger"
IT is serenely claimed by a Bradford
editor that young lady in charge of a
local telephone office has such dulcet
tones that when she is talking through
the instrument the wires between the
stations becomes an Eolian harp, and
little birds fly out to roost on the line,
in order to learn new music for their
songs.
FIRST proud mother: "My boy is only
II years old. and he comes in every day
with his pockets full of fruit. He can
get over the top of any fence they can
put up, the darling!" Second proud
mother: "Pooh for your boy! Why,
my Jimmy is only 10, and he's corner
loafer, and has been to the police court
twice" -LouisuiIle Couu'ie,-Joat17a0L.
A DISPATCH from Troy, N. Y, says the
Baptist council which tried Rev. E. B.
Simmons, pastor at Greenbush, for
writing love letters and lying" has
found him guilty. It was hardly neces-
sary to add the words "and lying"
writing love letters and "lying" are
synonymous terms, and if the members
OF the council ever wrote love letters,
they know it,-No'Tisto,cna Herald.
MADAM is preparing about 10 80 p.
m. to go out for the evening"" as she is
accustomed to do rather too frequently
to please monsieur, who has made up
his mind for the fiftieth time to assert
himself. The following dialogue ensues !:
Monsieur Where are you going, nv
dear?" Madam-"Where 1 please"
"But when will you be back? ?" when
I choose, sir "Ah, yes! of course! But
no later; I should not permit that"
THE London Spectator says that
"The hrmor Of the United States. if
closely examined, will be found to de-
pend in great measure on the ascend
ency which the principle of utility has
gained over the imagination of rather
imaginative people" The humor of
England, If closely examined, will be
found just about ready to drop over the
picket-fence into the arena, but never
quite making connections. If we scan the
English literary horizon we will find the
humorist up a tall tree, depending from
a sharp knot thereof by the slack of his
overalls. He is just out of sight at the
time you look in that direction. He al
ways has a man working in his place,
however. The man who works in his
place is just pairing down the half-sole
and newly pegging joke that has re-
Gently been sent IN by the foreman for
repairs.-Nye's Boomerang.