The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-22

which he proposes to convert into
home for destitute children and iniirm
women. He will endow the institution
with half million dollars. The Boston
Heratd says that this act will do much
10 soften some of the hard things which
have been said about Mr.. Park in the
past in connection with politics and
railroads.
Philadelphia mothers now tell their
youngsters that If they are right good
little boys until the bi-centennial cele-
bration this fall, they will take them
down to the river bank and let them
play with the United States Navy
Philadelphia NewS.
A sarcastic question may sometimes
do duty for the severest of replies. Il
never consider dinner perfect without
SOUP" said one man to another; 81 al
ways have soup when | dine" "And
do you ever have anything else?" asked
the other.
Gain bottomed chairs" repeated the
countryman. studying the upholsterer's
sign "Cain bottomed chairs, did hep
| want to know! Can't hardly believe
it, but then these ere city chaps know.
Won't our dominic be took back, though,
when tell i'm"
He Smoked. Bill Snort, Texas
journalist, was about to get into car
on the Central railway, when the con-
ductor, thinking the passenger might
prefer the smoking car, asked: ''Do
YOU smoker" Don't care if | do"
reaching out for the expected cigar.
"As for Mrs. So-and.so," remarks
one of the guests in salon where they
are passing their friends under review,
cher worst fault is that she is bored
wherever she goes Her lack of self
ishness is still greater defect" says
another, "for she insists in not being
the only bored person in the company"
A Chicago man came home very ear
ly the other evening, kicked his wife
and children into the street, locked the
door, and then went to bed. His wife
made no complaint, but went to a rela-
tive's house, and with beaming face eX-
claimed: Thank fortune, | know
where my husband is this night, any
way"
Lady Visitor-"Y boy looks very
bad, Mrs. Jones; what's the matter?"
Mrs. Jones-"Yes, ma am. he be very
bad; an what's more, the doctor has
made him worse. I'm sure we poor
people need to pray with all our hearts,
From all false docterin, good Lord, de-
liver u.s. i never saw its meaning be-
fore"
A certain married man got up out of
his bed one night and took new red
coverlet and lay down upon it on tho
floor. In the morning when he got up
his wife gave Il yell of fright, for on the
day before she had been reading of the
tattooed man, and for a moment she
thought he had broken into her cham
Der. That new red coverlet is now for
sale at second hand store.
Chance for Stake. They were bury
ing man who had died in Southern
Indiana, when tramp leaned over the
fence and inquired, "WoS he states
MANI" NO" "Orator?" "No."
"Great inventor, or anything of that
sortP ''No; he was simply an honest
man" ooh, that's it, ehP Why don't
his wilder take the body over to Chica-
go and put it on exhibition, and make
stakep
An Augusta man, who has been en-
joying few weeks leisure at Reeds
Neck, Boothbay, recently donned his
r,,h
shoulder on hoe, and started out at
high tide to dig clans. Not meeting
with good success, he approached set
tiers cabin, and inquired where he
could find the juicy bivalves, The
squatter eyed him keenly for moment,
and then remarked: Young man,
don't know much about city customs
but if you want to dig clans in flood
tide you'll have to leave these parts to
| do it,"
| A Rockland woman has made quilt
containing 3,69S pieces, 1t is unneces-
sary to say that this Rockland woman
is nigh on to hundred, never wore
glasses, mlks all the cows on the farm
and makes all the butter, besides doing
her housework, bel ping in the bayfield,,
going to market every other day, and
getting through a thousand and one
other duties in the course of twenty -four
hours. 1t is unnecessary to mention
these trining things. OF course this
Rockland woman is no exception to the
general rule in the innumerable race OF
patch-workers.