Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-03-03
SimDle lessons ior Little Folks.

See the Iamp-Post. BY its Dim
RAYS YOU can Behold the Electric Light
acros; the Street. There is 4 Man
Leaning against Lamp-Post. Perhaps
the Lamp-Post would Fall if it Were
not For the Man At any Rate, the
Man would Fall if it Were not For the
Lamp-Post. What is the Matter with
the Man? He appears Disquieted. He
is Trying to Work his Boots up
Through hiSMouth. He will have an
Headache Tomorrow and Lay it TO the
Climate.
The Girl is Scratching her Back
against the Door. She has Been eating
Buckw hat Cakes. Her Beau thinks she
is Delicate, but he has Never seen her
Tackle Plate of Hot Cakes on Frosty
Morning. Cakes had better Roost
High when she is Around. If we Were
the Girl we Would wear Sand-Paper
lining in the Dress and not he Making a
Hair-Brush out of the Poor Door.
Here We Have Baby. 1t is COM
posed of Bald Head and q Pair OF
Lungs. One of the Lungs takes Il Rest
while the Other runs the shop. One Of
Them is always on Deck all OF the Time.
The Baby is a Bigger man than his
Mother. lie likes to Walk around with
his Father at Night. The Father does
Most of the Walking and All of the
Swearing. Little Girls, you will Never
Know what 1t is to BE Father.
The Peach is Hard and Green. He is
Waiting for Child to Come along and
Eat him. When he Gets into the Child
little Stomach he will Make things Hot
for that Child. The Child Who eats
the Peach will Be an Angel before he
Gets a Chance to Eat another. If there
were No green Peaches there would not
be so many Children's Sizes of Gold
Harps in Heaven.
Behold the Printer. He is Hunting
for Pickup of half Line. He has
Been hunting for Two Hours. lie could
have Set the half Line in twenty Sec
onds, but it is Matter of Principle with
Him never to Set what he Can pick up.
The Printer has Hard time. lie has
to Set type all Night and Play pedro for
the Beer all Day. We would Like to
Be Printer were it not for the Night
Work.
This is the Man who has had Notice
in the Paper. How Proud he is. He is
Stepping Higher than a Blind Horse.
If he had Wings, he would Fly. Next
week the Paper will say the Man is a
Measly Old Fraud, and the Man will not
Step so High.
This sorry SpectacleiS Plumber. He
is Ragged and Cold and Hungry. He is
Very, very Poor: When you See him
Next spring he viii be Very, very Rich
and will wear Diamonds and Broadcloth.
His wife Takes in Washing now, but She
will be able to Move in the First Circles
by the Time the Weather turns Warmer
and the Pansies Bloom again.
VIII.
Here is Castle. 1t is the Home of a
Editor. 1t has Stained Glass windows
and Mahogany stairways. In front of
the Castle is Park Is it not Sweet
The lady in the Park is the editors
wife. She wears u Costly robe of Vel
vet trimmed with Gold Lace, and there
are Pearls and Rubies in her Hair. The
editor sits on the front Stoop smoking
an Havana Cigar. His little Children
are Playing with diamond Marbles on
the Tesselated Floor. The editor can
afford to Live in Style. He gets Seventy
Five Dollars a month Wages.
TX.
Here we Have Piece of Chewing
Gum. tits White and Sweet. Chew il
awhile and Stick it on the Under Side
of the Mantel Piece. The Hired Girl
will find it There and Chew it awhile
Herself and then Put it Back. In this
Way one Piece of Gum will Answer for
a Whole Family. When the Gum is no
Good, Put it on the Rocking Chair for
the Minister or your Sisters Beau to sit
Upon.
This is a Cock Roach. He is Big,
Black and Ugly. He is Crawling over
the Pillow. Do not Say a Word, but
lie still and Keep your Mouth open. He
will Crawl into Your Mouth and You can
Bite him in Two. This will Teach him
to be more Discreet in Future.-Eugcne
Field, IN Dcnccr Tribune.