Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-19
PLEASANTRES. -
WHILE there's lye there soap.

Train up child IN the way you
should have gone yourself.
A BOOK with loose leaf should be
bound over to keep the piece.
FRITZ says he can't eat oleomargarine
because it disagrease with him.
IT is little singular that a man will
bolt ticket he cannot swallow.
:" In Nantucket there are sixteen
women to one man." Happy man
"THAr butter is too fresh" as the
man remarked when the goat lifted him
over the fence.
WHAT riles country postmistress is
to have postal card come to the office
written in French.
A GAMEcooK ought to be good eating.
Does not the poet say, "The bravest
are the tenderest?
A VAssAR COLLEGE girl, upon being
asked if she liked Goldfish balls, said she
never attended any.
IT is never too late to mend. Which
is why the cobbler never has your boots
done at the time promised.
THIRTYTwo cilcuses are bleeding this
unhappy land. What tough time it is
those poor old jokes are having.
THE force of habit example has no
effect on the man In the moon. He
stays sober when the moon gets full.
"SIx Girls is the title of the latest
novel. 1t is expected that a sequel, en-
titled "Our Broken Gate" will be issued
soon.
AN Irishman, eating his first green
corn, handed the cob to the waiter and
asked: 'Will ye place put some more
banes upon me sthick?"
THE following typographical error
shows the vast Importance of comma.
At banquet this toast was given
"Woman-withouth her man, is brute"
GEORGE a years old, at the tea-table):
Mamma, may I have some sardines ?"
Mamma: "Wait till Tn ready, Georgia
George (surprised): "Why, ma, it's me
as wants en-"
AN English servant-girl who had re-
turned from the United States, to visit
her friends at home, was told that she
"looked really aristocratic." To which
she responded: Eyes, in America all of
us domestics belong to the hire class"
ROBINSON (after a long whist bout at
the club)-"lt is awfully late, Brown.
What will you say to your wife ?" Brown
lin a Whisper Oh, 1 shan't say much,
YOU know; Good morning, DEAR or
something of that sort. She'll say the
rest"
A CoLoRADo photographer started in
to be a desperate, but he lost his life
the first time he tried to kill a man as,
after covering his intended victim, he
gave the victim time to draw and shoot
first, by pausing to remark ere he fired ::
"Now, look natural !'-BostOn Post.
MOTHER Ito new girl, who had been
hired to amuse the children Mary,
how is this? These children are making
a terrible noise !" "Well, indeed they
are. ma'am, and I'm so glad you've come
in. Here I've been trying to write for
the last half hour, and their noise is so
distracting."
THIS is the season of the year when
the mince pie comes to town, and the cltl-
zen comes down town after dinner try
ing to pry raisin seed uot OF a hollow
tooth with buck-skin mitten, and he
stops in the drug store and orders an
other box of those powders for indi-
gestion. San.
A YOUNG man who lives i'll Austin, and
whose mustache is like faith, "the evil
dence of things hoped for, the substance
of things not yet seen," called on his
prospective father-in-law and gave notice
that he intended marrying the old gen
tleman's daughter at an early date. " 1t
had better take place on Saturday, SO that
it will not interfere with your school
hours" lsarcastically remarked the old
man.