The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-04-19
PLEAS ANrRIES.

| smaller than mems. An elephant is also
larger than a mouse, yet he can't catch one.
They were speaking of miser, just de-
ceased. "Did he leave anything2" asked
Smith. "He had to-" was the lsconic an.
swer of Fogg.
81 declare" said Julia, 'you take the
words right out of my mouth" IN Won
der, they are sweet" said Henry. The day
was set that evening.
An elderly minister, at a social party
where the young people were dancing. being
asked if he danced, replied: 'No, l am not
educated on that end"
Michigan has man with three arms.
And the girls like to go sleigh-riding with
him, as they always feel safer when man
drives with two hands.
| When the affectionate father of five grown
daughters calls at a hardware store for an
extra stout psir Of gate hinges, it means
that the spring campaign has opened.
A Professor Cunning, up in Albany, is
lecturing on "After Man, What?" A
Yonkers editor who has been there rises to
remark that it is generally the sheriff or
some woman.
An Irish drsgoon on hearing that his
widowed mother had been married since he
Quilted Ireland, exclaimed: "Murtherl /
hope she won't have q son older than me;
if she does L will lose the estatei"
"No, sir" said the Michigan Republican,
visiting Washington; II don't vote for
that man Horr sgain. Why he actually
laughed at joke make BY Democrat. Is
that sticking to his party2"
eyes, said the practical wife, PPM look
ing for some dsshing sort of a girl TO coax
my husband to elope. He'll probably stay
away two weeks and so be out of the way
until get all through house-cleaning."
A few days since barber offered reward
for instantly removing superAuous hair,
Among the answers was one forwarded by
gentleman In Kingston. We give it:
''U ndertake to kiss woman against her
will"
A census .taker received the following in
formation from a little girl: 'There are
five of us, sis and George, Bill and Tom;
but ma says she don't know how many OF
us there would have been if pa hadn't
died."
An Austin young man was seen coming
hurriedly out of business house, which he
had entered to solicit employment as a
salesman. "Did the boss engage you as q
salesman" "No; he wanted me to travel"
was the ambiguous reply.
agriculture is on the decline in Austria, .
reads farmer Longcrop. 81 should think it
would be-" answered his wife; didn't
hear you SAY the other day that Austria had
1000 men in the field, and amt that
enough to trsmple down all the crops,
I'd like 20 know?"
Disadvantage of saying things: Scene
at avoDinU The horta.S-UraD I
introduce you to any of the young ladies,
Mr. TT" Mr.. T.-"Ahl no. 1 think am
acQusinted with all wish" Hostess-"Do
YOU know my dsughter?' Mr.. L. (much
embarrassed) -"A-h, no; should be de-
lighted. Boston Transcript.
A youth who attended Scotch revival
meeting for the fun of the thing, ironically
inquired of the minister "whether be could
work miracle or not2' The young mans
curiosity was fully satisfied by the ministers
kicking him out ofchurcb, with the maledic-
ton: ave can not work miracles, but we
can cast out devilsl'
The young Kate Shelly, who saved an
Iowa train near Boone by her courageous
and heroic efforts year or two ago, is en-
gagged to be married to the conductor of the
tram she saved. Now you'll find every wo-
man in the State out stopping railroad
trains and trying to pretend they're saw
ing them. It's going to be hard year fol-
conductors.
} A peddler was offering clock, finest
vanished and colored, with locking glss:
: in the front, to a certain lady not remark.
able for her personal beauty. "Why, it i:
beautiful" said the vender. beautiful in.
deed. A look at it almost frighteEs nue.,
- IA Tnd To-,
athan, al guess you d better take one that
: amt got no looking glass"
Girls of nineteen can not be too careful
about accepting the love of old persons o.
seventy FIVE. At that age they become
;, kitteny, and when you think you have so
> them dead sure, they are gone. Besides
they do not die as readily after being mar
ried as one would suppose. We knew of {
girl of twenty who married man OF sixty
expecting that he would die pretty soon
He is now eighty-6ve and looks young, anC
she is forty and looks IS though she wa!
i 100.
Bangs on the brow of bison and fai
: women are tame and insipid as compared t
the pendant hirsute ornamentation which
decks the forehead of the callow young gen
tleman; and when 10 this is added the cents
q tive moustache, soft as dowDy pillows are
upon a countenance glowing with inane ant
s ineffable innocence, we feel like waving al
5 questions of age, sex and previous condition
and kissing the dear thing with swee
/: kiss and sending him home to his dear, dea
q mother-Boston Transcript.
An amusing story is told of the successful
courtship of the late Astronomer Royal
: and how IL began A friend had asked
= "Have you ever observed Miss KS eyes
j. They have the principle Of dsuble refrac
ton" This struck the philosopher as odd
g and he expressed a wish TO zoe them, and t
n call. at the end of his first visit he beggeC
/ permission to call again, to observe TIA
III ladys eyes in a better light, and at las
e found the problem was ore which woul'
!. take lifetime to study-and he merrie'
her.
Z, Arthur and Morey.