The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1882-1884, 1882-09-14
SEALS NEW GRAMMAR.

|
Sunny South, is an old school teach
er. While teaching school in Greene
county, Georgia, he used a new
style grammar. The following is
one of the chapters.
Teacher-PaTse man.
Pupil-Man is q common noun of
the female gender.
What is that, sir
Man is a common noun OF the
feminine gender; common cause he
can be bought cheap; and feminine
gender because he's always got wO-
man ON the brain, eighth person
cause his wife and six children come
first; is in the objective case and
governed by a woman.
Go to to your seat and put wet
cloth on your head.
Next. Parse woman.
Woman is female noun Of the
masculine gender.
Mercy on US What do you say ?
She's a female noun of the mas
culinc gender; masculine because
she wears the braechaloOns and is
determined to vote, she's compound
ed of cotton, whalebone, starch, sun
shine, smiles, and thunder cloud
is the first person, cause she's al
ways the person speaking; plural
number. cause she makes more noise
thar half & dozen parrots is in the
objective case and governed by
fashion.
Sit down and rinse your mouth
with 'prophylact fluid.
Next. Parse boy.
Boy is an uncommon noun, of the
goslin gender and female persuasion
Thunder and bootjacks ! What is
that SIT ?
Bow is an uncommon noun, of the
goslin gender and female persuasion
uncommon cause he's hard to find
nowadays, cause lie soon enters
the threshold of goosehood; female
persuasion, cause he's always GOT
The heart-sick about some female
first person, big Ike! singular rum
Der, cause there's nobody but him
self; III the objective case, and gov.
erncd by an embryo mustache
Soheidan Schnapps, and the length
OF his daJldy's purse.
Go home, sir, and bath your feet
in mustard.
Next. Parse girl.
Girl is an angelic noun of the
Grecian bend gender, and masculine
tendencies.
Oh, save us from sudden death
These boys will never be raised
How is that sir?
Girl Is an angelic noun, cause she
paints her CHI eeks and loves injuns
she's compounded of cosmetics
flowers, fuss and feathers; is Of mus
culine tendencies, cause she wears
the shirt bosoms, paper collars. an6
always has her head full of boys
singular number, cause the boys ar,
afraid of them, and matrimony il
played out; third person, cause
she's much spoken of; in the Oh
jective case and governed by
gypsy bonnet.
Next. Parse fashion.
Fashion is -. tyrannical nou
cause it must DE obeyed and laugh
at q poor mans purse; common ge1
der, cause all the people must bow
to it; it is compounded of founces
tiimsies. ruflles, scuffles, bubbles. rufus
suntfs, cuffs, higgles. giggles, Singles
curls, furls. hairs, snares, Greciar
bend, fuss and feathers 1t was once
in the objective case. and governed
by Eugene, buC is now in the nomi
} native case independent.
Go home sir, and goIto bed.
: Next. Parse baby.
Baby is an obstreperous noun o
Z the neuter gender.
Moses and the prophets save u
I from destruction What do yo1
, say, little imp?
! Baby is Il musical noun, cause
2 sings n soft tune between midnigh
e and day, especially of a cold night
4 it is neuter gender, cause it is neitl
t CT male nor female till it is bi
L enough to wear breeches. 1t weigh
l according to size and measures a.
l. cording to proportion is compound
c cd of milk and lungs, and especial
d of lungs; grows at = rapid rate.
e Go nome, sir, and tell your mott
n or to rock you to sleep.
I Next. Parse matrimony.
l. Matrimony is an ancient noun, d
e funct gender.
5 Hear him! You little vagabon'
f. what do you say
q Matrimony is of the defunct gel
e der, cause it's played out. Girls al
.. rs plentiful as biackberries. bl
|. they've got nothing Matrimony
lie compounded of the words mate IL
d money. but when there's a mate
is nowadays. it's nothing without tt
er money. Third person, cause i
IN much spoken of by the girls.
s the objective case aud governed /
u the money of the girls daddy.