Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1882-03-30
How Mr.. Spoopendyke Opens Oys-
!, ..-.. =. ters... IL. -

isndykee aia yml put those oysters
; on the cellar floor with the round
shells dewn, a. told you TO 2
! : did most OF 'em,' replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. Some of 'e,n
would mt stay that way. They
turned right oyer.'
HMust have been extraord.nary
I intelligent. oysters,' muttered Mr.
Spoopendyke, eEeing her with sas-
plclan. sDidn't any of ern stand
mp and ask tor Il morning paper
did they 2
! 'You know what l mean,' fut-
tered Mrs. Spoopendyke. sThsy
tipped over sideways, SO | laid them
on the flat shell.'
i That's right grunted Mr.. Spoo~
pcndyEe sYou want to give an
oyster his own way, or you'll hurt
his feelings. Suppose you bring
up some of those gifted oysters and
an eyster knife, and wo'l eat 'en.
Mrs. Spoopendykc hurried way
and psttered back with the feast
duly set out on tea waiter whi,.h
she placed before Mr.: SpocpeEdyke
with a flourish.
snow, sad she, drawing up her
sewing char, and resting her ell
bows on her knees and her chin on
her hands. When you get all Won
want, you may open me some.'
Mr.. Spoopendyke whirled the
kEIie around his head and brought
it down with a sharp crack. Tben
he clipped away at the end fer a
moment, and jabbed at what he
supposed was the opening. The
knife slipped and plowed the bark
of his thumb.
won't come open, won't ye 7
he snortod, fetching it another lick, !,
and labbing away again. Haven't
completed your census OF who's ont
here working at ye, have !es' and
he brought it anpther whack
'Praps ye think I haven't fully
made up my mind to inquire with
in, don't yes' and he fammed the
point ct the knife at it. knocking
the Skin off his kuuckle.
sThat isn't the way to open an
OYSTER suggested Mrs. Spoopen--
dyke.
'Look here, roared MIR. Spoopen-
dyke turning ferceIy on his wife
'tave you got any private under
standing with this oyster2 Has
the oyster conhded in You the par
tlcular way in which lie wants to be
opened
'No-o!' stammered Mrs. Spoop
cndyke, Only | thought
This is no time for thought 7
shouted Mr.. Spocpendykc, bang
ing away at the she'll 'This is the
moment for battle, and if Eye hap
pened to catch this oyster during
office hours, he's going to enter ins
to relations with the undersigned.
Come 'oH, will ye,' he yelled, as
the knife few up his sleeve. MAY
be ye don't recognize the voice Of
Spoopendykes Come ont, ye dod
gassed coward, before yc make AN
enemy of me for life 7 and he belt
ed away at the shell with the han
die cf the knite, and spattered mud
like dredging machine.
Let nc get you hammer to
crack him WITH recommended
Mrs Spoopcndyke, lowering over
her husband. in great perturbation.
Don't want any hammer howl
ed Mr.. SpoopeEdykc, slamming
around with his knife. .S'pose Pm
going to nse brute force on GoG
gasted fish that i could swallow
alive if l could only get him out OF
his house? Open your measls
premises = raved Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, stabb1ng at the oyster vim
dictlvely, and slicing his shirt
sleeve CLEAR to the elbow. .Come
forth and enjoy the society of Spoo
pendyke ! and the worthy gentle
man feamed at the mouth as he
sunk back Ill his chair and contem-
plated his stubhorn tce with giar-
ins eyes.
'I'il tell you wha: to 60 2 cx-
claimed Mrs. SpoopendYke, rad;an,
With il profound idea. Crack him
in tbs door =
Chats the scheme = grinned
Mr. Spcopeniyke, witt, horrible
contortions of visage. Fetch me
the doer. Set that door right be-
fore Inc on plate, This oyster is
going to stay here. If You think
this oyster Is going to enjoy any
change of climate until he strikes
| the tropics of Spoependyke, yon
| don't know the domestic babits OF
shell fish. Loose your hold =
squaled Mr.. Spoorendyke, return
ing to the charge, and fetching the
bivaiye a prodigious whack. Come
into The outer world where all is
gay and beautiful. Come ont and