davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
A WE'LL DEVELOPED EAR.

Losciusko Murphy, who is remark
able for his large, generous ears hns had
a falling out with Miss Esmeralda
Longcofan. an Austin belle, towards
whom he had been suspected of enter
tanning matrimonial intentions. Some
body asked him the other day why he
and Miss Lopgcof1in were not out bug
gy-riding as much as usual, TO which
Kosciusko replied that he did not pro-
pose to pay buggy hire for any woman
who called him a donkey:
81 can't believe that Miss Longcoffin
would call any gentleman a Donkey"
was the reply.
"Well, she didn't como right out and
say | was a donkey, but she might
just as well have said so. She limited
that much"
"What did she say?"
awe were out riding, and it looked
very much like raiu, and said it was
going to rain on US, as felt a drop of
rain on my ear, aud what do you sup.
pose she said?"
"I have no idea"
"Well," she said, "tiaat rain you felt
on your ear may be two or three miles
o6."-Zeras iSItsiags.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
THE NEW YORK sUN-roR 1882.

THE Sun for 1882 will make its fifteenth
annual annual fev1 Eiii under the present man
and little, mean and gracious, contented
and unhappy, Republican and Democrat,
fuse. The SUMS light is for mankind and
womankind of every sort; but it's genial
warmth is for the good. while it poors hot
persistentiy wicked.
The Sun of 1868 was newspaper of a
new kind: 1t discarded many of the forms.
and a multitude of the superluot,s words
and phrases OF ancient journalism. 1t I'M
dertook to report in a fresh, succinct, I'M
conventional way all the news Of the world
emitting no event of human interest, and
comment upon affairs with the fearlessness
this experiment was the success of The
Sun. 1t effected u permanent change in
the style Of American newspapers: Every
important Journal established i'll this coun-
try IN the dozen years past has beeu mod
elled after The Sun. Every important
journal already existing has been modifiad
and bettcrcd by the force OF The SUMS
ample:
paper.
BY liberal use of the means which an
abundant prosperity affords, we shall make
it better than ever before.
Wc shall prin all the news, putting it
into readable shape, and measuring it's I'M
pOrtance. not by the traditOnaliyard stick
but by its real interest to the people.
In politics we have decided Opinions; and
guage that can be understood. We saw
what we think about men and events. That
habit is the only secret of The Suns politi-
cal course.
The Weekly Sun gathers into eight pages
the best matter of the seven daily ISSUES.
An Agricultural Department of unequalled
merit, full market reports, and Il liberal
proportion Of literary, scientific and do
mestic Intelligent complete The Weekly
sun, and make it the best newspaper for The
farmers household that was ever printed.
If our idea of what newspaper 81 Guild be
pleascs you, send for Tho Sun.
For the Daily Sun, four-pagc sheet of
twenty-eight columns. the price by mail,
post paid, is So cents Il month, or SO so Il
year; or including the Sunday paper. an
eight-page sheet of tiHy-Six columns. the
price is siNty-tive cents per month, or 81 80
n year, postage paid.
The Sunday edition Of The Sun is also
furnished separately at 81 20 4 year, post
age paid.
The price Of The Weekly Sun, eight pages.
ffty-siN columns, is 81 Il year. postage paid,
For clubs of ten sending $40 We will send
an extra copy.
Address. !. w. ENGLAND,
Publisher of The Sun, New York City
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
LITERARY.
l9oa-l98R
THE MISSOURI REPUBLICAN,

Republican, published i'll the great trans
1903, whilst the now fourishing state of
Missouri was small territory and st. Louis
mere outpost; IT,, the head9uart,e 2r Of few
The Republican has steadily increased from
a diminutiye sheet. printed weekly and
American journal, holding place in the
front rank Of the great newspapers of the
world. It's history is the history of the
West and South in all enterprises, and in
all the material, political and social inter-
tho views Of chat Glass of ctisens %ho seek *
to have tho government conducted upon
Democratic, popular and conservative prin
ciples, and in that regard is the organ Of the
most intelligent and thoughtful minds of
the extensive region in which it circnlates.
The Republican, from the care with which
manifested in tho collection of news from
all quarters, it's consistency in the advoca-
cy of principles bearing upon the prospect
built up Il circulation not to be estimated
merely by its numerical greatness.
The Republican is published by men
chiefly who have g grown up from m boyhood
of Il newspaper the study Of their lives. 1t
is practically impossible that any event of
real importance could occur anywhere
the civilized eartl, and not be published in
tho Republican before the rising OF the
next sun. With tho means and Tho Pnr-
columns will have no reason to look fur
Their for history of the times.
The following is tho subscription price of
the Republican:
DAILY.
BY mail, postage paid, including Sum
day, per year, ...... observation-disclosures. sl2.OO
Without Sunday, per year, .............. HOO
TkI-WEEKLY.
Monday, Wednesday and Fridays
per WEEKLY, Si.oo PiSK ANNUM. ~
The Weekly Republican contains the
cream Of all the news of the Daily and Tri-
Weekly editions, and is especially edited
to supply the wants of country readers. In
order that there can be no excuse for not
having it on account of cost, we place the
price at ono dollar per year.
All subscriptions arc payable i'll advance,
and discontinued ut the end of time paid
for.
Remittances may be made by draft.
money order or registered letter, at our
risk. Give postoflice address in full. in
GLIDING state and county and address.
GEORGE KNAPP & CO.,
St. Louis, Mo.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
EDINBURGH AND QUARTERLY
1E0IE~s.

Messfs. Houghton, Mitllin Il Co. take
pleasure in announcing that, beginning
with January, 1882, they have the exclu-
sive sale in America of the two leading
British Quarterlies.
These will be published in America by
special arrangement with tho British pub
fishers, and printed from the same plates
as the British editions. We doubt not there
is u large class of cultivated readera i'll
America who will he very glad to secure
these two great 2uarterlies in the excellent
Typography w hich distinguishes these edi-
tons, at the same price mt which they have
been heretofore offered in cheap reprints.
The price of each is $500 year.
CLUnRINa RATEs-Quarterlya and Edin-
burgh Review together, 800; either of these
Reviews and the Atlantic, 800; both the
Reviewa and the All antic, $1,000.
Remittances should be made by mouey
order, draft or registered letter,t
HOUG HTON, AIFFLINtS co, Boston.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
GOLD So ON POLITICAL REFORM.

Jacksonville (F1a.) Times.1
One of the Fourth Ward politicians
tackled the old man last night, saying:
"Uncle 81, how is you gwine ter vote
in dis 'Ieckshun ~
81 amt gwine ter vote no way, 'kase
I amt been heb long huff fer ter git
nachuIized yit!"
"Well, 'sposin' dat yer had de age
which way wood yer vote?"
cpd vote wild my mouf shet and do
de job airly-dats my hand ailus -
"But witch ticket 'ud yer vote. Dim
cratic, Publican, or Ind'pendint?
81 wouldn't vote nary wun Use 'er
scratcher from err cuntry whar de
seben-year itch ar politikly epidemic,
an votes for men an not fer de labil
what's put on de ticket! I nebber
goes ter sea in er bote jess 'kase hits
got a gilt figurehead!''
eden you don't believe in stickin'
ter de nominashunsv'
"Yas, does-but I'se gin'urally de
man whar makes de nominashiuns on
my tickit, an de sooner dat cherry
homes man forms hissef in hollow
squar', calls hissef ter order an nomi-
mates his own ticket unanimously, de
sooner dar'll be reform in politics an
honesty in de gubment
This doctrine seemed to be novel to
the Fourth Warder, and when last seen
he was evidently deeply engrossed In
the proceedings of a convention of one.
ON DRUNKENNESS.
Old 81 was meandering around the
Office yesterday, and after reading the
Times said:
II see by de papers dat dey holes el
temprence meetin' in dis town cherry
day."
$50 they do"
"Weil, Use heard dat"
"What do you think of it?''
"Well, tink dis temprence is all
berry good, but de way dat yer do it
ar nuthcr thing.'
"What do you propose ?''
"Well, er man Gums out ez er tenn
prencc man an talks like er sojer, but
he goes in wild der boys an drinks
like fish,"
"You must be mistaken"
"No, I hain't mistook muffin. Ise
bin drunk-'drunk ez er billed OWL
but Use nebber seed de times wen sum
Teller drunken dan me didn't talk tenn.
prence. Hit seems ter me dat de
mo- temprence what yer gifts de mo-
ticker what yer needs. Eft dey'll jest
invent sumfin fer to take de red outen
err mans eye cherry morning den dey'n
do somefin fer de temprence cause ="
And with a suspicion of rcdness in
his eye the Old man left the Office.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
OF GENERAL GORDON

Monroe (Ga.) Advcrtiser.]
General Gordon is going to Europe
before long on important business con-
nected with the development of certain
lands, and the building of new rail-
roads in the southwest. With the Cen
erals energy, which keeps him always
on the 60, there is a genial playfulness
his presence congeniaI to all, both old
and young; and probably no agent
could be sent abroad more likely to win
success. Everybody seems to love him !;
children hang around him, ladies flat
ter him, old men seek his company,
and audiences are charmed by his elo-
quence.
With all the Generals gaiety and
Imagination, he is and always has been
sincerely pious man, and never went
into an engagement that he did not ask
Divine assistance and favor. Once,
however, he almost lost his gravity ut
prayers held on the eve of Il battle
the battle of tho Wilderness. One of
the common soldiers was called on to
pray, and men could pray at such
times, knowing that within the next
hour or two one or more of them must
be lying in the dust. On this occasion
the soldier began, "Oh, Lord Thou
knowest that we are about to engage
in n terrible conflict, ii you take II prop
er view of the subject" 1t this time
the hearers lost their gravity, and
fought the battle of the Wilderness
With their internal spirits giggling all
! the way through.
| AT another time when Gordon was
about to lead an attack on Petersburg,
he and General Heth and some others
went into little school room on the
lines to pray. Sol. IIeth, the Generals
brother and Adjutant General, who
was always on the lookout for Il drink,
was standing n little ways off, and
Henry Peyton, one Of General Lees
staff, beckoned him to come in the
house and join them. Sol. did not un
derstand their object, but totally mis-
conceiving it, held up his canteen and
shaking 1t, said: "No, 1 thank you.
I've just got hold of some.'
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22

rectly, through this Agency, will entitle
to Commissions.
Z Commissions arc due and payable
upon the Contracts Of Sale, Exchanges or
Rent being signed by parties thereto.
s. Any disagreement between the parties
after signing such contract does not impair
the claim for Commissions.
-; owners are expected to know their
Titles before asking tho services of this
Agency, and no failure to perfect II Sale
because of Imperfect Title will destroy the
claim for Commissions.
10. All Property will be Advertised Free
of Charge, unless where Sale. Lease or
Exchange is effected, when the usual adver
ting charge will be made.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
l. The Seller, and not the Buyer, will he
look tst4 for Commissions
PATENTED AUGUST 1. 1876,

l: The Seller. and not the Buyer, will be
looked to for Commissions,
2. Owners must set the price at which
they will sell, giving full descriptions. and
on the price SO fixed commissions will be
charged. Maps will be furnished at the
Owners expense, when desired.
3. Introducing, or sending Customer to
any Owner will, in case OF sale, entitle me
to Commissions.
4. Property entered on the List will be
considered on sale at the price stated until
notification OF withdrawal is received.
5: If no notice be given of advance in
price, or withdrawal Of property, and a
customer Is furnished ut the price fixed,
Commissions will be charged.
6. Information obtained, directly or indi-
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22

"A New York young woman tainted
While she was getting married because
person who was acting "a usher was
the man she really loved.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22
PUBLICATIONS
PUBLICATIONS
r Attest CURRENT EVENTS
or INTEREST TO THE
F.. NORTH LOUISIANA
WILL BE CONTAINED IN
THE 0UACHITA TINELEGRAPH.
l. HE OUACHITA l. lcLEGRAPH.
THE SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN,
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All classes Of readers find tho Scientific
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TERMS OF SUBSCRIrTION.-One cory of
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CLUBs.-One extra copy of the Scientific
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The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-04-22

This Academy has been long established
and successfully conducted. 1t is mainly
q preparatory School for the University Of
Virginia. The instruction, therefore: in
Mathematics and in the Ancient and Mod
ern Languages, including the English, is
necessarily very thorough.
The Location is one OF the healthiest and
most beautiful portions of Piedmont, Vir-
ginia, under the Blue Ridge and near the
Rapidan River, and in an intelligent and
highly refined community, with Churches
of various denominations convenient.
The Buildings and Grounds are extern
sive and attractive, and specially adapted
to the purposes Of Boarding School.
The Session begins the Third Monday
in September, and closes Third Thursday
in June.
The Terms are 5000 for a session of nine
(9) months, for every expense except
Clothing, Text Books and Medical Atten-
dance.
Patrons preferring it, Board at reasonable
rates can be obtained i'll private families in
tho immediate neighborhood.
For sons of Ministers of the Gospel, the
Tuition Fee of $4,000 is remitted.
This is a Private School, and under the
absolute control of the Principal.
For further information, address the I'M
dersigned at Locust Dale p. O., Madison
County, Virginia.
d. +. BOYD.
Dcs,> nj
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-23

Mr.. Filley was to test the feeling of the
country he has succeeded admirably
and he shouldnow retire within him
self in disgust, confident of receiving
the execration of ninety-nine out of
every hundred of his fellow citizens.
II, regard to the Chase letters, former
private secretary of Chief Justice Chase
has come to the fore with the announce
ment that he is responsible for the pub
LEGATION of that letter and that he has
the remainder of the correspondence Of
the Chief Justice, which was turned
over to him. Admitting this to be fact
| SEuckers must then have either been
guilty of the dispiseable sin of proving
recreant to his trust by divulging Sc
cfets intrusted TO his care or have had
the permission of Mrs. Sprague who in
trusted the letters to him, to do so, AS
this lady had had trouble enough Of her
own It is hardly probable that she would
allow herself to become n party to so
groulish an attempt as that recently
made on the grave of Garfield. Suffer-
ing herself from unmerited attacks, she
should revolt from furthering such con
temptible schemes. But in one way can
it for a moment be considered that Mrs.
Sprague VIZ a consenting party, and
that way Juld oblige the supposi,ion
that sne was still under the control Of
ex-senator Coniding, whose former as
sociations with her have done 50 much
to tarnish the fair name of Mrs
Spragus in the past. This is not inn
possible but extremely improbable
and the first supposition must
be accepted as the true solution until
moe evidence is in. AS the attacks
has proved failure the public have but
little interest in it any further than they
would have 10 identify any other grave
dcSecrators
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-23
nd never east tbeir ballots for a

would never east their ballots for
straight out Democratic candidate while
they night be tempted to do SO in the
case Of a peoples candidate.
All this assumption cannot disguise
the fact that Judge Cothren is to-day a
candidate Of the Democratic party just
as much as George Clementson is the
candidate of the Republican party.
True, he was not nominated by straight
out party convention, but this was dis
pensed with as the party managers
knew that such a move would at once
give away the whole thing so it was
decided to resort to petitions as the
easiest way Of binding the people to the
direct issue. In accordance with this
plan Democratic strikers started out
petition in hand and returned with them
signed by Democrats entirely,or SO near
it, that the Republican names in the
twenty-five hundred claimed could be
counted on the fingers of one hand.
Democrats presented these petitions to
his Honor sitting on the bench and as a
Democrat he accepted. No matter how
he may have sought by skillfully con-
trived speech TO gild the pill TO the
masses, such are the facts stripped of all
their gauzy wrappings, and Judge
Cothren is to-day the Democratic candi-
date, trusting to Democratic votes to
elect him. Let the reader look around
in his own neighborhood and see to what
party belong the active workers for
Judge Cothren. They are Democrats.
They are now in favor of non-partisan
judiciary. Are they in favor of nom
partisan town officers Are they in
favor of non-partisan Congressman or
President or have they ever been? A
single moment for reflection is sufficient
to convince even the most careless that
their present argument is based on a
knowledge that they cannot elect their
candidate on a strict party division,
and 50 they wish to cover the lines with
the dried leaves and tangled brushwood
of false sophistries and baseless argu-
ments. 1t is an old dodge and there
fore the more worthless. 1t has been
tried so many times that its mission is
ended. They can, however, hardly be
blamed for trying it. Were it not for
the danger to public morality which
such subterfuges portend by placing a
premium on deception and falsehood
they might even be allowed to play their
broken down game in silence, SO long as
it served for an amusement. As it is
the necessity exists for once more call
ing attention to the inaccuracy- use a
mild team of their claims. No one
can offer any objection to Judge Goth
rem 5 running for the judgship. 1t is a
privilege which is his by right of citizen
ship; but let him DO so openly as Dem
ocrat, which he is, and not seek to de-
ceive the people by pretending to be
what he is not and never will be 4 non
partisan candidate. Such subterfuges
are unworthy of himself and the official
erminc to which he aspires.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-23
GEORGE P. MATHEs. Eoi
Much Suffering.

The suffering entailcd By the floods
on the lower Mississippi and its tribu-
taries is gradually being brought to
light BY the cxertions Of officials in the
submerged districts. General Beck
with, of the CommIsary Department,
says that in order to prevent starvation
the government VIII have to continue to
issue rations until May i, and this will
but simply keep body and soul together,
while the future is hung with black
cloud Of uncertainty The greater por-
ton Of the flood refugees have lost their
all, while even the Weather classes Of
planters have suffered so severely as TO
place them in Strengthened circumstan-
ces for some time to come. The govern
mcnt came the rescue just in the nick
Of time and is doing noble work in
relieving tn, immediate necessities Of
these uniUrtt mates.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-23
THO Vow plnIi.

The bill reported by the select COM
mittcc, 20 whom was referred the matter
Of caring for Che chronic insane, pro
yides for the building Of an additional
state asylum Ito cost not more than
.sl25.ooo, with a capacity for 250 in
matcs. somewhere north and west of the
of the Wisconsin river As Il sop to
Milwaukee an appropriation is included
Of 500, 900 for the extension Of the capa-
city of the Milwaukee, county hospital
providing the county donates to the state
fifty acres Of land a, is usual in all
building propositions the original
amount is the minimum price TO be eN-
pended and before the matter is done
with nearer 5000, 900 than The amount
proposed will have been paid out.
Yet the two buildings when completed
will barely furnish accommodation for the
patients now waiting to enter, leaving
Us almost hmm lately in the same posi-
tou that we were are now. The sys-
tenn it will be seen at glance is not elias
tic enough, unless it bc understood that
that the building Of new a>yums is tC
bcconlmucd indeGnctely when it viii
result. rs claimed by THE HERALD III
practically system Of county asylm>
erected ut public expense The same
end then could have been attained much
caster, more economically and with
greater rrompttudc, thereby relieving
the uufortuuatc>w who are crowdediupoor
house, and iail,, under the county svs-
tenn as established BY the law of 1851