The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-04-06
WIT AND HUmOR.

Him, not over the threshold.
We are never ruined by what we want,
but by what we think we want.
Virtuous men are the salt Of the earth;
they make it healthy to live in.
Borrowing money is a very bad habit;
and borrowing trouble is not much bet
ter.
Action, looks and words form the
steps by which we may spell charac-
ter.
The miller imagines that the corn
grows for the sole purpose of making
his mill turn.
The truly wise man should not have
any keeper of all his secrets but him
self.
There is always room for a man of
great force, and he can make room for
many.
What doth better become wisdom
than to discern what is worthy the liv-
ing?
1t is the case of a very great part of
mankind to conceal their indulgence from
the rest.
Charity taken in its largest extent is
uObulllS 6lS6 Ulldu tu6 SluCtT6 lOto VI NIOO
and our neighbor.
1t is with antiquity as with ancestry;
nations are prond of the one, and indi-
viduals of the other.
Would you gain the confidence of
business men, do not try to'support the
style Of your employer.
Even poverty is better than avarice, for
while poverty wants many things, avarice
wants everything.
Argument in company is generally the
wo. st sort OF conversation, and in books
the worst of reading.
If million applaud YOU, seriously
ask yourself what harm you have done;
if they censure, what good.
The discovery of what is true and the
practice of what is good are the two
most important objects of life.
If you would not have affection visit
you twice, listen ct once to what it
teaches.
Some men have Sunday soul which
they screw on in due time, and take off
again every Monday morning.
A man may be the architect of his own
fortune but if he is not able to build his
plan is not worth much to him.
Tell your children that they are the
worst you ever saw, and they will no
doubt grow up in the way they should
not go.
Miss Clara White, daughter of the
President of Cornell University, and
Prof. Newberry, of the department Of
chemistry, are to be married.
Atlanta boasts of young, attractive
and industrious cobbler of the female
sex, who both mends and constructs all
kinds of shoes, to the satisfaction o.
numerous customers.
(Which, my dear lady, do you think
the merriest place in world?" "That
Immediately above the atmosphere that
surrounds the earth, should think"
"And why sop because l am told
that there all bodies lose their gravity"
A member of fashionable congrega-
ton called at q music store and inquired:
"Have you the notes of a piece called
the Song of Solomon p adding: sour
pastor referred to it yesterday as an ex-
quisite gem, and my wife would like to
learn to play it."
The. art of the future.-Friend (cau-
tiously) II have seen many a worse
picture painted by professionals.
Amateur: "Oh, hang it, don't I've
been painting these twenty years, an,
pom me honor, this is the first time my
work has been compared with those fell
lows Judy.
An old gentleman who always took
notes of his minister's sermons, ON one
occasion read them to the clergyman.
stop stop said the latter, at the &C.
currence of certain sentence; II didn't
say that" II know you didn't" was the
reply" put that in myself to make
sense."
Mrs. Jenkins didn't present such q
grand layout OF food, but she contrived
to have three fresh scandals trotted out
during the afternoon, aud somehow the
sewing society went away impressed with
the idea that Mrs. Jenkins was splendid
ct entertaining, and that they had Just
had lovely time.-Boston Post.
More than human nature could stand.
Friend Ito colored servant who had
just cleaned OF Boston sidewalk after
deep snow): 'Say. Mister Jonsin,
hear dat Venner proffersies q heap o.
heavy storms dis yur." Mr.. Jonsin:
Look heah, now, eff you cum roun'
heah wid dem disagreeable remarks you1l
git sumAn you won't like, young man"
A modest disclaimer-The Professor
opening his wife's prayer-book by
chanCe): "With all my worldly goods