The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-08-05
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
A striking subject-A hammer.

Best thing In Oonnet-S pretty Iace'
The distribution of a few toy pistols in congress
might have a salutary effect
"We'l shake once more for the quinne," a
the aguc said TO the victim.
Sullivan got bigger wages than most fellow
who strike. Inter ocean.
Paris consumed the flesh of 600 horses las
wear. That's the way some French horses VIII
the steaks.
Chicago claims to use barrel of ink where
Boston uses bottle. Boston folks color theil
wines with lockwood, probably.-Detrot IRE
Press.
The Chicago Inter Ocean has come to the con
clusion that q good wife is a treasure. Nothing
ike finding out things fifty years in advance OF
other people.
A Vermont woman has been arrested for scan
lallzug a man because he did not cry when his
wife was buried. He is prepared to prove that
he felt bad but couldn't weep.
What are the wild waves saying
On the sands near the hotel door?
you've got to do some steep old paying
When you summer by the sad sea shore"
Fall River Adydnce.
An exchange devotes three-quarters of u
column on When to Cut Timothy" The best
advice on the subject can be given In few
words, VIZ, cut MIN wheh he broke. --I"cM"dt'
Saturday Nigh
An old bach" wanted to get even with the
widows of Wllliamsport, Pa, who had gossiped
about him, and SO he left them S35, 900 in his
will. He knew they'd fight over it until the
last dollar went to the lawyers.
a.. al hail
Where, when it was known, she WAS stared at by
all;
And some one said with very bad grace,
That he knew she could paint, by the looks of
her face
The Philadelphia Times has interviewed n
travelling barber who makes an average OF $50
per week. We don't believe in making these
statements. While they do the travelling bar
bers no good, they discourage hundreds OF col
lege professors who are receiving Sl5 per week.
Detroit Free Press.
Tayans, Fla, says the Boston Post, have taken
to eating alligator steaks, and pronounce them
delicious. as long as Il man has got to eat u
thing he'll pronounce it delicious, whether he
likes it or not unless he gets 1t ut boarding
house, and then he'll growl anyway.-Lacon
Home journal.
They tell of II man out West who was putting
q blast in a we'll, and 1t went of prematurely
and blew him out into an apple tree about fifty
feet away In a moment he recovered himself,
and remarking, THE Lord knows better than
do, alter all; | guess it's almost time to 60 to
pruning" took a large pruning knife from his
pocket and went to work.
cablegram says that ut is rumored that
Arab Pasha has withdrawn with the bulk Of his
q rTru IN mi nnr IL 70 nf kaf
el.dwr." 1t is believed that the outposts are
perfectly safe in case the commander OF the op-
posing forces undertakes to tell his men the
name of the place they are going to.--Chicago
Tribune.
Oh, | long to sec the love.light
In your deep brown eyes SO true;
Aud long to hear your footstep
Ere another evenings dew.
long to hear that loving voice,
Sweet music TO my ear,
And long to press those loving lips,
That are to Inc so dear.
| long TO see my darling,
'Twould make my heart so light
And wish that he were coming,
Coming home to me tonight.
OH | love him so much better
Than | ever did before;
Pvc wondered that thought twas love
In the happy days Of yOre.
-Woman Who is Laying Pipe fora Ne,o Bonnet.
The poet who sweetly referred to the "sighng
Of the winds" should 20 out west, and expert.
ence slghclone. Phhadelphia Bulletin.
fashion journal says that the --latest caprice
Of New York bellies IS to suspend beautifully
painted miniature tambourne by ribbons from
the neck. satin bag upon the under side con.
tains the hankerchef.' The latest caprice Of
Chicago women is to suspend n shirt by clothes
pms from the line.
SATISFACTORILY ANswERED.
Miss Lii and Harry slipped away
Toward II shady lane;
She was maiden fair To see
lie, trOth, noble swain.
They'd met full many time before
Within this shady dell,
And there for every kiss he gave
She paid him back full well
Some base betrayer (may he de)
Must needs the cat let out
The Iate parent to the maid
Cried, what are you about?n
The blushing culprit, looking down,
Made answer with "Ahem--
Whae'cr you'd have men do to YOU,
DO even 80 to them"
luis not far out Of the way to speak OF the
American navy as american knavery," consid
eFing It's management since the war.
1t makes no difference what the weather NAV
be in other parts OF the country in April and
May they always have Hot Springs in Arkansas.
Missouri newspaper claims that the hogs
are SO tat in It's locality that in order to find out
"here their heads are it is necessary to make
them squeal and Judge by the sound
De KING OBJ FRUITS
some are pa'shcI ter deapple oddahs clamor TO-
de plum ~
some hh, 'Joyment in de cherry odtahs make dc
peaches hum:
some git fas'ned ter de onion, oddahs lub de
a'tichoke; ~
bat my taste an watahmellen er boun' nv a.
pleasant yOke
Hit er meller, hit er Juicy,
Hit er coolin', hit or sweet!
hlt er painless ter de stummick--