Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-09-08
POLLY GORDON'lS PREMIUM FAR.
HER

POLLY GORDONS PREMIUM FAR
MER.
Polly Gordon was an old maid living in
Kansas she was not born there, for the state
has not been long enough settled, and l will
not mention the place Of her nativity, but
lest the excusable state pride Of Ohio people
be hurt, will say it was not Ohio and yet
she had energy enough at any hard work that
offered itself to entitle her to the presidency
if women were eligible to that position. She
was able-bodied, and in her way strong
minded, even to obstinacy. Though she
didn't blieve in them wimmin's rights win.
min she had heerd tell Of" she always voted
in school meeting, the Kansas law gives
that privilege to women, Because if they
mean to waste the peoples money on too
much schoolin' and high edicatin' I'm gon'
to do all kin to peryent it, was her reason
for voting.
She wore her dresses made in the style
that prevailed when she first put on long
dresses, and her scanty hair from one years
end 10 another WAS twisted in little round
knot and pinned on top of the back of her
head. The fashions kin come round to me
when they want TO, I've no time, and amt
goin' to run round after EN- was her in
variable reply when some friend dared to
suggest an improving change. Her highest
ambition ON the womanly side of her nature
wGs to have the finest colorcd, striped rag
carpets, the incest drawn-in rugs of impossi-
BILE roses and improbable cats the whtest
clothes and lightest bread of any housekeep-
er. She carried on little farm, and among
farmers it was her boast and pride that her
calves were biggest, and pigs fattest that
her corn yielded most to the acre, and she
never lost chicken or turkey by pip or ohol-
era. She could scarcely read or write, de-
spised book larnin' as no count towards
gittin' along" and took no interest in the
world beyond the prices of her crops and the
groceries she had to buy. Mrs. Prudence
Nolney for the last four years Polly's near
est neighbor, also living on farm-I may
fearlessly add that she was from Ohio, was
refined, intelligent woman, very fond of
reading, and Polly was always lecturing her
on her expensive tastes. ~ do think It's so
foolish in you TO waste your money that way,
an spend your time too. You pay out
enough hard cash every year for such trash
as would buy two or three fat calves IL
you'd a done that way, countin' the material
increase, you'd had a herd o. cattle by this
time, instid O. all this litter of books an pa
pers an you might "a drawn in a dozen
rugs just like mine!"
Mrs. Volney took this advice from Polly in
| good part, for the maiden lady was really
kind hearted and well disposed, and too ig.
norant of etiquette and propriety, or the
most common things belonging to cultured
and might add civilized life, to be aware Of
| the impertinence Of her suggestions
SO great was her prejudice against news
| papers and books as wholly useless that
while to the lightniug-rod, sewing machine
aud patent pump man she would give a not
altogether impatient hearing, and examina.
tion OF his wares, the mild hammered book or
newspaper agent, with chrome attachments
i xsag 10 a IL
need not trouble yourself to take step in
side! I've no time to look at such trash, an
no money to throw away on it; an if you
! want piece of my mind I'll tell you you'd
| better pitch into hard work than to 90 round
| in such low business" and rs she always
gave a call to the dog, who stood by grin
ming with white teeth that added to the eff
| feet of Polly's remarks, the agent mildly said,
Good morning." and retired, crab wise,
with meek side glarces in the dogs direc-
| ton, and never came again.
| But Polly was human and a woman, and in
a state where men do so much more abound
| than the other sex, she had secretly wonder
ed why, with SO many substantial attractions
| of farm stock, full cribs and fat turkeys, her
strong, bony hand had not been sought in
matrimony. As she grew older and accumu-
lated more, she often felt the disadvantage
of not being around SO as to know the prices
of things but she was entirely ignorant of
the value or use of a newspaper in giving her
| the information wanted. Besides, she wear
led of tending her stock and holding the
plough and it vexed her still more to pay
her hard earned cash TO some Indifferent
hired man, whom she feared or knew slight
| ed her work, or in some way cheated her.
One day while chatfering about plow, she
noticed on the premium list of the coming
county fair, BEST loaf of wheat bread, So,
and Kansas Farmer for one year."
The last clause very much puzzled her, but
she concluded that even for year the farm
er was well worth trying for, and he might
be so well suited he would be willing to stay
a lifetime Mrs. Yolney came in a day or
two after. 'Have you heerd tell of the pre-
miums yit for the fair2"
Eyes, have a list"
"Will they truly give 50 and Kansas far
mer for the best loaf of light bread2"
II presume so, and am half inclined to
send in loaf"
II should think you'd be most ashamed to
say so and let folks know it,"
Mrs. YOlney never dreamed of Polly's mis-
taken notions in regard to the farmer" and
thought she meant she took so many papers
she ought not to be 30 extravagant as 10
want another and she was greatly astonsh.
ed at the blush that crawled up over Polly'l
freckled face and lost itself in the roots oil
her scanty, tightly drawn hair, as she hest
tatingly went on. "Well to tell the truth
I'd like both mighty well myself; moneys
always handy, and the farmerd be conve,
nient in the house and out of doors too
There's some things about farming 1 dom
know, and being just alone by myself, cam
look after everything, and go round too ant
find out about things, and SO get taken in
Do you spose 1 could have the farmer longel
if it suited all round ?" she asked anxiously.
"Of course, the publishers would be glaC
for you to have it all the rest of your life, i
you wanted it,"
''Publishers" was an unmeaning word h
Polly but she had a dim recollection of hear
ing in her early youth about something calleC
"publishing the bans" that was connected
with matrimony; and that Mrs. Volney spok
of the Farmer as sit" soothed her maidenl.
modesty, for, as said farmer" was only
supposable case, she could not vet bring her
self to the familiarity of the "he" and "him
which the assured wife of several years give
to tho husband of her youth, as if there wer
, but one masculine in Che world Mrs. Vol
ney was delighted that after all her invective
and declarations Polly had become reeoncile
to the idea of even having paper in he
! house, aud in trying to steer clear of any dis