The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-01-06
SOMEBODY'S MOTHER.IN.LAw.

A Tragedy In the Streets OF Paris. aud
How a affected "a Humorous Hnck man
A Paris cabman was brought before
the correctional tribunal charged with
assault and battery. His account of the
affair. given in all seriousness, is worth
reproducing.
You see, this is how it came about.
| had had an old lady in my carriage,
driving her about for some four hours,
and said | to myself, . I'm in for good
tip, for she wore jewelry and diamonds
and all that Well, and so at the corner
of rue Aboukir the old lady was getting
out when-ylan up comes an omnibus,
knocks her down and kills my fare dead
as a herring 1 tell you, itll make you
laugh"
Tie Court-"It is rather ludicrous,
Jarvey-'' Not yet, but it will be by
and-by. Well, and so 1 jumped down
crowd gathered and I gathered with it,
and says l TO myself, his is all very
well, but who's going to pay me for four
hours?' At that minute a gentleman
comes running mp 9TH make you
laugh) 49, and looks at the corpse and
cries Great heavens, it's my mother
in-law and says l to myself, That
makes my four hours all safe, and so
told the gentleman that it was 1 who had
been driving the old lady. All right;
We put her into the carriage and took
her home, and helped him to carry her
up stairs, and then / hung round the
room, for says / to myself, The son-in-
law'll settle with me, and as he comes IN
for the property he won't be apt TO beat
me down Well, and so be began to
say, How on earth am l going to break
this to my wife when she comes IN 2
aand then l withdrew into the ante-roOm,
not wishing to lntrude the subject of
the fare on him at that moment Just
then III comes the servant girl scream
/ ing, She's coming 9TH make you
! laugh)-and said | to myself, This Is
all very well, but if they'd pay me I'd
Just as soon go Still | thought the
time | waited would be charged for.
And so then she comes in, his wife does,
and when she sees the long faces she
screams out, What's the matter
What's the matter? Oh, it's ma
Where is She Z? Her husband says,
She's on the sofa in the sitting room =
and she runs in, and he follows her, aud
l follow him, and she-itll make you
laugh she hops right down along side
of the dead woman, and shrieks, Why,
it isn't ma at all = If you had only seen
her husbands face-he didn't come into
the property-and mlne-I Was out my
four hours. Naturally, because, as il
wasn't his mother-in-law, he didn't owe
me anything.
The Court Well, if he didn't owe
you anything, why did you insist that
he should pay you ?"
Jarvey-" Well, you see, I wanted
him to pay me for the time after he put
his false mother-in-law in my carriage,
and for the time l had been waiting at
his house. Thereupon ne gets mad and
asks me who had told me to wait :?
Thereupon l tell him that I had been
unwilling to ask him for my fare in his
hour of bereavement Thereupon he
abuses me, and offers me thirty sous.
Thereupon | ask him what he is giving
me-besides, we charge more for a
CORPSE than for a living passenger.
Thereupon he says, What DO l want of
that body here Take it to the police
station and III give you forty sous.
Thereupon | wouldn't aud So"
The Court instructed the prisoner that
he should have cited the complainant
before the jUge de pair, and not to have
struck him, and sent HIM to Jail for three