Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1882-11-09
ScHOOLR00M HOBBIES.


I exercise, as the practice is so common
even among those who stand highest
in our profession. Hence, a glance at
! the pedigree and record of some of the
more famous nags may not. be amiss.
Prominent among those trotted out
at Teachers institutes and associa-
tons and advertised with q long list
of desirable qualities is the ancient
one Of order-mOre generally known
and revered in the 18th century than
it viii be III any succeeding one-as
| it has seen such long and hard usage
that its SHELTON has become so con
! spicuous as to be unsightly and re-
| pulsive. Some teachers have this an
| tiquated hobby so completely under
their control that not a child NAV
dare occupy any OTTER pcs ten than
that prescribed, be it ever so unnat-
uraI and conducive OF lung and spinal
difficulties. If they are allowed to
play at all during their recess-and
there's only one chance in ten that
they will be-they must not ran for
that would not be orderly ~ they
must not shout for the same sage rea-
son they may march, perchance, il
they keep in line, "tOe out, hold up
your head, and fold your arms - and
that last command, as generally obey
ed, is simply relic OF barbarism,
contracting muscles that need expand
ing, and giving to the innOcents the
graceful appearance of miniature Jug
gerauts. In school they may not rest
their elbows on the desk-I don't see
why elbows are omitted on the pro
granl-because our good steed ''order'
would become FESTIVE and run away.
n book, however, heavy, and be the
little fingers never so weak and tired,
may DO held in but cne hand and that
the weaker one. Every natural inn
pulse to stir, to change position and
so get a temporary relief from the in
evitabIe cramp and ache, is religiously
held in by the check-rein of this me-
chanical quadruped.
In the next stall we shall find on
exhibition another old beast named
Dignity" whose stately trappings
are most affected by the Juvenile pOr-
ton. OF this profession.
After man or woman has been en-
gagged for period Of twenty or thirty
years in teaching ''the- young idiots
how to shout"-beg your pardon! I
certainly meant to give that time hon
| Ored quotation about 1.-The young
| idea" etc-they have learned among
other Important lessons, that the
dignity lOHjch requires 6ol5tcri31g Is
ORiy q sham and that there may be
things of Infinitely greater conse-
quence to every teacher than his own
| dignity. But the ad0!escent teacher
as (, rule has paid dearly for his hobby
in the first place, and knowing the
vast uncertainty of the equine race,
does all he can 70 retain possession OF
Iit-even at the expense, sometimes, of
common sense. Laugh in school ?
why. bless you! no! A thousand
times no! IT would compromise his
dignity too greatly, and so be the Oc-
casion never SO worthy, he nses the
hold back, and u grand opportunity to
get nearer to some chi5d'S heart is lost
for the sake OF his dignity!
Never mind, he will wake up some
morning only to find that he has for
gotten to lock the stable door ahd his
favorite hobby has gone; but some
how he will become reconciled to the
loss, and will finally laugh that he
placed so great dependence on Dignity
to advance him over the road to sue
cess.
Our catalogue shows the next hobby
to be gaily caparisoned, and bearing
the euphOnious name of Parade
atlas Examination This poor and
much a bused nag is full of defects and
is both halt and blind, but with efforts
worthy of better cause, its owner
seeks to conceal the knowledge of any
of these blemishes from the prying
eyes Of too inquisi i've public.
HIS pupils are trained to make a
good SHOW" but it is lamentably true
that they are at the same time learn
ing lessons in deceit, dishonesty, van
ity, or if keen observers in cynicism.
The possessors OF this snowy hobby
ignore the fact that ''Thou must
to thyself be true, If thou the truth
weuldst teach" and ere long they too,
will find themselves without trotter,
for he'll die of his own diseases that
were deity hidden but never cureds
The next nag to which our attention
is called is the untamable one, Lee
turing" Teachers who ride this hob
by are generally these who fancy
themselves a second Demosthenes or
Cicero in eloquence, bnt whom an
unkind fate has cruelty consigned to
the treadmill life ola pedagogue so
they mount their steed and amble up
and down the stage on every possible
occasion, never caring if the nag
proves balky, and they are thrown
with more OF speed, than grace or dig
nity-they are soon ready for another
ride. We would recommend the
owners Of this steed TO auction him off
to the highest bidder, for though most
excellent in some places, we have no
use for him among faacharS tho