The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-12-19
How Ben Butler Escaped Marrying
an Onion Eating Woman.

How Ben Butler Escaped Marrying
an Onion Eating Woman.
The recent triumph Of Ben Butler
and the clever devices with which he
neutralized the effects Of the "splits"
in his own ranks, recalls an incident
of the Generals early career, and which
is interesting as showing that even in his
youth Ben displayed those strategic
abilities which have since done SO
much for his military and political Ca
reer
1t appears that young Butler was
much enamored of pretty girl who
lived on farm about six miles from
that of the Butler family in the west
ern part of Massachusetts,. The coun-
try beauty was = coquette, however,
and kept quite larhe train Of admir-
ers in suspense, each rival doing his best
to gain the advantage Of the others
At last matters were brought to a eli
max, and the damsel appointed GER
tain uight when she would render her
final decision as to which sutton she
preferred.
1t goes without saying that they
were all better locking than Ben, but
the latter determined to put the iu-
"a. of his head against the .outside of
those of his opponents. The nearest
way to the flirt's house, and the one
tsken by all her eager followers, was
over bridge formed BY single aud
somewhat slippery log placed across
deep brook in the rear of the house.
Young Butler repaired to the bridge
an hour earlier than the accustomed
'.courtin' time. carrying pail of lard
with which he carefully annoinlei the
log by the mellow moonlight. backing
himself across it astraddle.
As he afterwards sat with his sweet
heart. waiting for the other suitors to
appear, a loud splash came from the
direction Of the brook. Ben's game
eye twinklea, and in imagination he
could see one fhis gorgeously gotten
up fellow candidates climbing up the
opposite hank with teeth chattering
and heading for home across lots. but
the conspirator looked as innocent as
cat in the dairy, and said nothing
Pretty soon came another souse and
after awhile another. The beauty be-
gan tn look at the clock and sfow ev-
licences of decided pique at the negli-
gence of her other admirers circum
stance Ben did not fail to turn to his
own profit
Presently he could family hear voices
in the distance, and be knew that the
last two swsins we're approaching to-
gether Pretty soon came . tremend-
Gus double splash.
Dear me" said the young lady.
chow the fish are jumping to-nigh T.
The upshot Of it va, that ~hen the
future Governor rose to 90, the eight
ed beauty gave him her hand. Sealing
tie bargain with IN old-fashioned husk-
ing hee kiss. Butler left bis prize in
such a state of exultation that he for
got all about the creased log. and the
FIRST thing he knew both heels hit him
in the back of his head and he took q
header down below just as his victims
had done. He climbed up the already
well clawed bank, and made the six
miles to home. uttering PROFOUND cuss
words. He was taken with chiIls and
fever as q result. and when he got well
found his fiance had eloped Nth a
hired man Butler tells this as the |
narrowest escape Of bis life. as he says
the girl began eating onions the very
next day after she became engaged.
The General has been lucky ever
a;ooo Can E.aaa.aoo DIT