Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-09-15
SOME FUN.

There is nothing improper in lover
being slgher before marriage.
If well-dressed lady slips and falls,
isn't she an embroidered slipper?
Sweet milk Is like q transaction that
hasn't taken place-something that
hasn't curd.
A Texas man was arrested for riding
a mule on Sunday. 1t was another
mans mule, by the way.
Many revolutions social and other
wise, have failed because there We're
too many cranks connected with them.
Don't complain over misfortunes.
If you ask, why not, the question
echoes the answer, whine not.
Some traits run in families. Shake
speare's father, being illiterate, made
his mark. So did Shakespeare.
A banker is not always musical, but
he possesses considerable skill in de-
tecting false notes.
The fashion editor Of frontier news
paper, Immediately after an Indian
scare, said he wa5 sorry to observe that
whoops were coming IN again.
A church in Mexico was shattered
by an earth quake, and it is said the
congregation were greatly stirred up
about it.
Timid persons afraid Of steamboats,
will be pleased to know that George
Decker, who made tau first trip on
Fuiton's craft, is srill alive and hearty.
Sydney Smith said to his vestry, in
reference to Il block pavement about
ST. P4uPs: "All you have got to do,
gentlemen, is to put your heals to-
Scther and the thing done.
An insane congress man Is laboring
under tho delu'ion chat IL prop ),ijion
which is voted down i like a pair o.
spectacles, because it is ctrriod by the
noes.
A cold-hearted man is like IL run
away horse. He won't listen to the
sound of woe. He is al~o like a man
who disagrees. He doesn't give as-
sent.
Stoves are supposed to be some
what modern invention, but the Egypt
ans were warmed" by Alexander the
Crate B. G. 800.
1t Is told of Edward Everett that in
carving tough duck 1t was Knocked
from the platter into lady's lap
Madame" he said, bowling graveIy,
"I'll trouble you for that duck"
When Fogg heard of boy who was
terribly injured while playing with fire,
he quietly remarked: "Oh, that is
nothing he was only little sun burnt. J"
Fogg ought TO be tanned the heartles3
wretch.
Talk about stopping the drinking
habits ef the people" exclaimed the
lecturer there IS but one way 10 do it
you must remove "tGe cause"
''True fr you, OF fer,' shouted de-
moralizod nearer, 'true FIR you. That's
what I've been trying to do all my life.
Bring on your cause If you want it re-
moved"
why are you Iate?" asked school
telcher of a little girl, who hung her
head and said: 1--WE have got a baby
at our house" ''Don't let it happen
again." said the teacher, fercely, and
the little girl sa d she you d not, and
took her scat.
A little lady Of q years had picked
UP cane in the corner OF the room,
and WAS playing with it-a plain stick
bent at the end. Papa asked: What
are you doing with the cane?" at
isn't clne." ''What is it, them
cts an umbrella without any clothes
on it."
A st. Louis man came home very
early the other evening, kicked his
wife ard children into the street locked
the door and went to bed. His wife
made no complaint, but went to rela
tive's and with beaming face exciaim
ed Thank fortune, | know where my
husband is this night, anyway
evil you please pass the Shem?"
asked a quiet man at the lunch-coun
ter.
Haven't any, squealed the girl in
attendance.
"some Japhet?" queried the old man
again.
"Don't keep it" squeaked the dam
sci.
81 say" Clipped in a curious pas
senger, what do you mean by Shem
and Japhet?
Nothing" responded the little man
dolefully; nothing. only the ham is so
old and musty that thought the rest
of the tribe might be around mere
somewhere, and I'd ike to see 'em."
"How old are you, Fanny asked
little Johnny Fizzletop OF neighbor's
little daughter living in the suburbs of
the city of Austin.
Pm five years olI," replied Fanny.
''She is telling lic," said Fanny's
brother, who was present. :'She was
seven on her last birthday"
"Ah y said john "that's the way
it is with these women; they are AL
wavs trying TO make themselves
out younger than they are. -Te1as
Siitin0s.