The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1882-06-10
NO. 8.
Fun For All.

|
The term Mormon means the NOR.
mon-y you have the more wives you
can be scaled tor
This is the rock Of ages said
the father, rocking two hours aud
the baby still awake.
The man who hesitates is lost.
That is why Charley Ross hesitates
about coming back.
In the voyage of life every man is
provided with skull,Iwith which to
paddle his own canoe.
Wicked New York men want to be
buried in Greenwood, because it
won't burn so quickly as the dry.
We always enjoy greenback meet
ings, especially when the meeting
happens to occnr between a greenback
and ourself.
A procession of men passed
through the Bowery, and were an
hour passing given point. The
given point was saloon.
Whatever you have to do, do it
with your might. Many lawyer
has made his fortune by simply
working with will
Norway has discovered that tele.
graph lines scare the wolves away.
They are probably afraid Of the sx-
tortionate rates. ~
always pay rs you CO." said an
old man to his nephew. "But, uncle,
suppose ! have nothing to pay within
Then don't gor'
A dull old lady being told that a
certain lawyer was lying at the point
Of death, exclaimed: 30, dear! won't
even death stop that man lyingr'
do try and talk little common
sense" said a young lady, to her
visitor. "Ah, but wouldn't THAT be
taking an unfair advantage OF you?"
"He was a kind parent, a good
citizen, and had three horses that
could beat $780," is considered about
the right thing for an obituary in
Kentucky
Anvexchange thinks no shares pay
20 well as plow-sbares. This may
be correct, but most people who hold
plow-shares would he willing to trade
them off for bank shares.
Even he'::wisest'' is sometimes
fool. For example, the philosopher
who wore his spcctacles when asleep
that he might recognize his friends
whom he might see in his dreams.
"The bees are swarming, and
there's no end to them" said Farmer
Jones, coming into the house. His
little boy, George, came in second
afterwards and said there was an
end to one Of EN-, and it was red hot,
too.
A fond mother, hearing that an
earthquake was coming, sent her
boys to the country to escape il
After few days she received note
from the friend, saying: "For good.
ness sake take your boys away, and
send along the earthquake instead
A negro prayed that his brethren
might be preserved from their "up-
settin' sins" ''Brudder," sail one
Of his friends, lyon ant got de hang
Of dat ar word. Its besettin', not
npsettin.'" Brother" replied the
other, ''if dat's so, its So. But was
prayin' de Lord to save us from the
sin of 'toxicatien; an il dat amt
an upsettin sin, Isdunno what am"
An Oil City boy was recently taken
to the Opera House by his uncle.
A few evenings subsequently, There
was company at his house, and the
uncle and aunt were among the num-
Der. The lad was relating what he
saw, and among other things said:
II was little bit afraid, coz every
time the curtain rolledi down uncle
went out to sec man, and left me
alone"
| He read In newspaper paragraph
the statement that "The child il
father to the man." and straigbtway
went and asked his mother If that
was true. Eyes, my SON. she IN.
swered, lit may seem a.little strange
to you, but it's true" "Well. man.
ma" responded the inquisitive youth.
why is it, if I'm papa's father, that
he always ticks me and I. never lick
him?"
"Papa,' said an iHquisitive boy,
this morning the dominic prayed
for more rain and this afternoon
Bixby prayed for dry weather to get
his hay in. Now ii the Lord Loves
the deacon and the dominic jnst the
same, what do you suppose He'll do
about it?9 "My son." answered shs
old gentleman, sternly, whenever
you want to ask foolish questions 60
to your mother; don't come to me-
Tommy. my son, what are you
going to do with that cIubY ~Scnd
it to the editor, OF course" "Bnt
what are you going to send it ia the
editor for?" Cause, he says il any
one will send him club he win send
them copy Of his paper" '"Bur.
Tommy, dear, what do you suppose
he wants. with y clnb?r well. I
don't know unless it is to knock
down subscrihersas don't pay TOR
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