The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-10-04
WIT AND HUM0R.

Reduced fare-lnmates Of the Old
Ladies Home.
An Albany type-setter is training a
quartette Of flies to put the periods in
his take"
Any kind of cookery in the world, no
matter how eXecrable, is preferable to a
family broil.
IF sawdust advances says the
Whitehall Times, ballet girls will have
to kill the fatted calf"
Whether the British can or cannot
whip Arab, they can make him look
dreadful sick-by telegraph.
"a prudent man." says witty
Frenchman, sis like a pin. His head
prevents him from going too far"
A regiment with military band in
front should always march by play
tunes.
1t was Artemus Ward who said there
~ere t--v thinSs IN tins world noUouy
was ever prepared for-twins.
On week days one buys his music by
the sheet; but on Sundays he gets it by
the choir.
Says cynical young lady: VERY
handsome mothers are often proud Of
their ugly babies. | wonder if butter
flies are proud of their caterpillars."
What is the difference between an In
dian and an agriculturist? The one
carries bow and arrow, while the
other carries hoe and barrow.
John, did Mrs. Green get the medi-
cine I ordered?' said doctor to his
hired man. II guess so, for saw Grape
on the door this morning"
"Whistling," says the chronological
Journal, sis good for the lungs SO is
blowing tin horn; but it is great and
intolerable nuisance.
Amateur Gardener" wants to know
the easiest way to make a dollhouse.
Leave box of matches where the baby
can play with them.
A Baltimore belle has married a
policeman. His beat was in front OF her
house for over year, and she noticed
that he never snored.
Red Cloud is one Of the kind without
silver lining. Like all his race, a
copper lining would suit him best, as it
would fortify him for a time against the
corrosive action of government whisky.
New Parlor maid: Here's a letter,
ma'am, if you please" New mistress:
"Pray, Mary, are you not accustomed
to see letters handed on tray?" ''Yes,
maa But | didn't know you was"
"Does it affect one unpleasantly or
injuriously," writes hgh-school girl,
"to sleep in the moonlight" Certes,
grille; it makes you light-headed. Glib
bous a hard one.
A correspondent wants to know chow
we pronounce 'Ras-el- Tins" We don't
pronounce it at ALL we only write it.
Do you suppose we read the papers &c
the subscriborsP
Faith" he wrote home, america is
the friend of the Orsh. Bedad, they
think so much of the Oirish byes anC
| gurrls that they name their States by
them. There's O'Hier, and ORegol
and Mrs. Ore"
Mr. Middlerib came down at 4:15 tc
Jake tne eNpTcSS EasJ, anu IodTHeu INA
his train had pulled out just quarter
of an hour prior to his arrival. TIL,
traveller turned away sadly, Not lost
he said, "but gone by four"
II don't ask any mans advice" sale
the man with the big bump of self-es
TEEN. 81 do my own thinking" Eyes,
murmured Fogg, II should think 20,
might, and not be greatly overworked
either"
1t is announced that science has pro
duced new silkworm, superior to tn,
old brand. If the new worm will pro
duce silk that costs no more than cali
co it will fill long-felt want. Norris
tom Herald
A New York man says he keep
chops and steaks for several days in TIN
hottest weather by burying them il
neal Meal is good thing in an
weather for steaks and chops. w
more particularly refer just now TO th
morning meal