The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-03
ALTHOUGH WRITTEN BY A JESTER, IT
is BY NO MEANS FOOLISH FOLLY.


that tiTesome old lying that what
will keep one person will keep two.
because il wont. A thousand dollar
salary won't keep two one-thousand-
dollar people, but it will keep two
I've huudred-dollar people nicely,
and that's ali you are, just now, my
boy. You need not vince or get
angry. Let me tell you, q young
map who rates in the world as a Eve
hundred-dollsr man, all the year
round, Mondsy'as we'll as Saturday,
the day after ChristT as just as well as
the day before; the fifth of July as
we'll az the third, he is going to rate
higher every year, until be is q part
ner almost before be hoped to be q
bookkeeper. Good, reliable 6ve-hun-
dred-dollar young men are not such
drug in the market as you suppose.
You marry, and your wife will bring
tact, and love. and skill, and domes-
tic genius. q womanly economy that
will early double your salary. But
you will have to deny yourself many
little Injuries and lioertie-2 Certainly
you would; or rather you'd willingly
give them up fer greater luxuries.
And you don't want to shoulder the
burdens and cares of married life?
see you do not. And | zee what
you do not realize perhaps. that all
your objections to marriage are mean
and selfish. You haven't gwen one
manly reason for not marrying. If
you do not marry, you are going into
a world of new cares, new troubles,
new endorsements. You are going
to be careful. and worried about
many things. Yon are going to be
tormented with household cares and
perplexities, all new and untried to
yOu.. You are going to be pestered.
and bothered, and troubled. You
will have TO stsy ut homo in the even
ling. when you used to go to the CLUB.
Your wife will have 80 much 10
do looking after the comfort of her
husband and children that she won't
be able to sing and play for you every
evening, as your sweetheart did.
Your time will not be your own, and
you will have less leisure and freedom
for fishing and shooting excursions,
camps in the mountains, and yacht
ing trips along the coast, than your
bachelor friends of your own age. I
admit all this. But then you will be
learning self denial; you will be liv-
ing for some one else; you will be low
ling some one better than you love
yourself, aid more than q thousand
told that compensates for oil that you
give up.
Why you want to remain single
. now, my boy, is just because you are
: selfish. And the longer you stay sim
: gle the more this sel6shness will grow
8 upon you. TheE- re some noble
:; exceptions among bachelors, | know.
and some mean ones among married
4 men; ed a selfish married mar
needs killing more than any man
know; but as a rule, just look around
F lyour own friends, and see who ser
1t auselfish men. Who is it that gives
5 up his seat in street car to q woman,
y not pretty young girl, but q homely
, wripkled woman in shady dress
who is it heads the charity subscrip-
tions; Who the largest pew rent; who
= feeds the beggars; who finds work iol
n the trsmps; who are the men fore
most In unselfsh work? know,
y your young bachelor friends are no.
5; stingY. Oh, no. l know Jack Fast
boy paid $50. last week for new
, buggy-it ia as light as MATCHBOX
| and has such narrow seat that hI
can never ask q friend to ride with
him; AMI at the same Tins DicE
Slocum, who married your sis.el
5, Alice five years ago, gave $3.50 To-
e the cyclone sufferers. l think til,
angels laughed all that afternoon
s, my boy, bot l don't think it was be-
cause Jack paid $50 for his new
D. buggy. II yoa want to shirk th'
L responsibilities OF life. my dear boy
Y you may; if you want to live forty o
fifty years longer With no one lde
n the heavens 30 think n5rut, or car
n fer. or plan for, but yourself, 20 aheal
~ and do if; sou will De the only looser
Is the world won't miss you nearly O
much ss you will miss the world; yol
,: will have a mean, lonely. selfish, cas-
time, and unless you are a-rare- ex
g. oepaon TO your eisss. lilI,s children
IS viii hate you, and the code never ye
% lived aoy man wu~m the children
S disliked.
But you can't 6nd the right sort c
to girl, you say. Oh, yes, nnderstsn
all that, my son. have heard muc
y of that before. You mourn an
grieve over the lack of true won az
D hood among the girls osyour acqusir
- lance. Mere butterflies of fashion
you say, who can rattle the keys OF
s grand piano; dance like fairies, chat
ter nonsense and society nothings b
the hour, and isr their lives cannC
bake loaf of bread, roast q turkey
IT do days washing, or make q shir
You say You demand the neblest typ
n OF useful W0manhOOd in your wife
and you want 10 know where you ca
find the wife you want2 Well, | wi
iaI tell you, my dear boy. II that is to
sort OF woman you want, marry Nor
ID Mulligan. your lauudress's dsughsel
N She wears cowhide shoes, is guiltleI
aot cOrSet5, never had a sick day In hf