Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
PEPPE 0

1t has been demonstrated that five cast.
away sailors can live for four days on /,
dog, II they gnaw the bones pretty close
When it can't rain or hail or thunder o,
cyclone in Leadville, it can snow. Tn,
weather out there is never W a stump for
o change.
The south will make 1000, 900 gallons OF
cotton seed oil this year, and You will buy
some of it put up In nice shape and labeled
as olive oil from Italy.
A Jerseyman has invented a cigar. hold.
er by means of which q man can smoke
three cigars at one time, but alas! no IN N
can invent a three-barrelled beer glass.
1t is time to let up on the star route
thieves. In Boston a barkeeper has been
detected putting vinegar into squeezed
lemon, and using 1t q second time. Texas
Siftings.
The power of the human eve can only
be fully appreciated when a well regulated
wink will change n bottle of tonic beer into
a bottle of lager in spite of the LABEL
Maiden Headlight.
An Arizona Indian has gone out of the
numbering business and started a grocery
He thinks he can do more torturing with
adultered groceries than with u s~calpinp
knife. Boston Post.
Since the stringent prohibition law went
into effect in Iowa hundreds of men have
lots of small change to give to their wives.
They don't 10 so, however, but bet on dog
fights and horse races.
An Arizona man stops people on the
highway and asks them to contribute to
an orphan asylum, and he looks 70 mad
about it that all travellers she'll out without
asking where the asylum is or how much
it needs.
A baby was born in a cemetery at Mar.
shalltown, Iowa, the other day, and the
order of things was reversed by carrying
the child from tho grave to the cradle.
Empty is the graveyard, baby's in the
crih.-New York Com.
A one-legged man carrying n sack of
-four; his wife wheeling a baby in u pre-
ambulator; his father.in-law carrying n
codtish-all drunk except the baby, the
preambulator and the codfsh-was one of
the sights on the streets of the civilized
town of Fulton, n. Y, one day last week.
An item for the household says "If
the wat + in which new cabbage is boiled
Is changed once or twice, it. will he less
likely to be indigestible.p Perhaps it will;
and persons who are in the habit of drink
ing water in which cabbage is boiled should
heed the suggestion; but as long az water
is SO cheap, we shall continue to take ours
raw.-Norristown Herald.
Gilhooly strolled into Nose Schaum.
burg's store on Austin avenue, and after
looking around he said to Nose, who, ru \.
bling his hands, asked him what he want.
ed. Twill You be kind enough to bring
me a glass of beer, some fried beefsteak
and onions, some fried potatoes and some
boiled cabbage?" replied Gilhooly. "Mis.
Their Gilhooly, mine store wash not q res-
%taurant." What the devil have | got to
do with that! You have got up n sign that
reads, IF you DON'T see what you want ask
Tor it, / a some grub. j don't see it,
so l ask for it, and instead of bringing on
the grub you go to telling me what your
occupation IL, as If | cared n cent. Why
don't you take down your sign" When
last seen Nose was standing in a thought.
full attitude in front of that sign. absorbed
in profound contemplation. Texas Sift.
ings.
&"I'm no hand to complain" he was say,
ing to n friend in the corridor of the post.
Office, but il makes me feel bad to have
a man doubt my financial standing" HAS
any one doubted it, "Well, not IN so
many words, perhaps, but l can see a great
change in human nature. Three or four
years ago l could buy a trunk for a dollar.
arrive at a hotel 10 a 5000 hack, and live
on the fat of the land for three weeks be-
fore had to skip. Alas! how times have
changed. Nothing less than an IS trunk
will secure a room, and you can never tell
when the clerk will ask you to break n $50
bill in order t. size your pile. 1t makes
me feel degraded to have a man doubt me,
and 1 sometimes think l might just as we'll
pay my bill with a bogus check as to slip
out the back way and leave my empty
Free Press,