National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1882-03-25
FUN, FACT, FICTION.

rs the sneak thief remarked when he stole legls-
lators overcOat,
one more unfortunate, weary of care, rashly
importunate sold her back hair--Neto Yert Conn
mcrcidl Advertiser.
Patti is said to guard herself carefully agains
cold. She evidently does not believe in free sing
boston Commercial Bulletin.
It is bad luck for thirteen persons to sit down
together at table especially IL aero Is only din-
ner enough for ten.-Picdyune.
An encouraging sign of the times is found Ia
the failure of two New York pawnbrokers
When pawnbrokers fail the people must be
prosperous.
The character of the Central American earth.
quake region is td by the name given to Il by thu
aboriginal Indians: Cuscatlan-"the land that
swings like hammock"
Bonamy Price, in an English magazine askT
what is Money! Bonamy is evidently pub
fishing an eight-page daily paper in two. page
town.-Noirtstotrn Herald
Somebody threw red light on The falls at Ni-
agara the other night and folks thought the cat
arect was blushing at the way the hGckmen round
there charge folks.-Boston Post
The two oldest ex. Senators of the United States
now living are Mr. Yulee ofFlorida, and Mr. Cilley,
Of New Hampshire. The latter who is ninety one
years old is lying dangerously III.
The lieutenant was badly bitten about three
inches from the end of his vortebrfp aud twenty.
five miles from the mouth of tho RIO drande,
where he was stationed-7 Saih0s
Market reports state that cowhides are luctuat-
ing. We can vouch for this for pair fluctuated
young man down the front steps of n house on
Four Gnd-a half street last night. Her pas feet
were inside them.
General Sheridan has fought sixty. four battlcs
and he never knew what fear was until he stood
on his front door-steps and heard the bell strike
two and realized that he had forgotten his excuse.
Sunday School Gazette.
Nine. Dc Balzac widow of the great novelist, has
sold her famous house In the Rue dc Derri, Paris,
to Baroness Janesde Rothschild for 100000 francs
Years ago there was no de In either the Balzao
or the Rothschild family
"Thc man who is anxious to know how the
world could get along without him can find out
by sticking his finger into the Ohio River thon
Withdrawing 1t and looking for the holc."-Em-
poyee rho has been fred out.
The story of the discovery OF new mammoth
cave in Kentucky was hoax. The story was
started by man who saw Governor Blackburns
mouth when he was shooting profanity therefrom
at an offending newspaper reporter
Said the Chicago girl as she saw Bunthorne after
the desertion of Patience sink down orushedt
What did he give up that way fora Why didn't
the drafted fool sue her for breach of promise n
Chicago girls take deep interest in play.
Professor Doremus says that elephant milk is 10t
per cent. richer in butter than the milk Of q
Jersey cow. But the worst of 1t Is that all elephant
is 100 per cent worse than a cow to milk having
tail at both ends to slosh round In mans eyes.
A man in Ohio was struck by lightning and in,
stantly killed Il dry or two since Just as he wa
trying to say something original about wintc
lingering in the lap of spring Even the i'm.
mortal gods can't stand everything huntington
Haukeye.
Baron Won Magnus, the Prussian diplomatic
who got into trouble for his silly toast at tho Co
peuh0gen banquet to Sarah Bernhardt is IN an In
sane asylum at Gcerlitz. He is gaining In health
but the cloud upon his intellect is growing darks
and darker.
"A prominent physician says that If mo theirs did
not take up the senseless prate of babies and hut
1t back Mt them under the plea that II Is "babi
talk" children would learn sooner how TO talk
plain. They repeat the tumble of syllables thai
they first hear.
The death ofa famous cockatoo is reported Ia
Philadelphia His name was Tommy Prescott
and he hau for twenty five years been before the
pubic as performer in circus sdeshows. Ht
was remarkable speaker, for bird, and earned
a salary for his owner of $50 n week.
NJ. Labouchere was talking with his tailor and
remarking about the excellent dress of n gentle.
man who was in the room. The tailor repliedI
iSo uc Dtcu CuStOUler OF mine yedrA
He Is now major general, and he has never paid
me his account since he was lieutenant"
st. GATHERINGS (Canada) jury of twelve en-.
lighened and thinking men, who were called Il
judge the facts of the case wherein murder had
probably been done--its victim woman-camt
TO the fore with the conclusion, Died by the vista
ton of God under suspicious circumstances."-
Quiz.
The AMenaum states that Mr. Herbert Spence
intends TO pay visit 10 the United States In thu
beginning of the autumn. Mr.. Austin Dobson hid
undertaken to write the life of Fielding for tho
English Men of Letters" series; Professor Col
vim will write on Keats and Professor Jowett q
Jeremy Taylor, for the same series.
At q church festival In New York the frie<
oysters were spoiled and condemned as unfit ia
food. Tho pious and benevolent managers by
formal vote sent them to the Old Ladies' Hom
without mentioning the source from which the,
came. Thus another transformations act of oharin
is registered above,-New York Post
Tx Senator Joseph Cilley, of New Hampshire
now nnety-one years Of age, is lying at the poiI
of death at Nottingham He served In the war d
1872, and is, with one exception, the Oldest ex,
United States Senator living. His brother, iona
than Cilley, WAS Congressman from the SAM
state, and was killed in duel near Washington
in February, 1888.
Excuse me, Miss Mahoney, but may inquin
what this arrangement means that you have hum
up on the kitchen WALTZ" "Oh that? Sure an
It's dado, mum, and just wait till you see tht
beautiful paycocks feather I'll be afther hanging
the dure. It's issihetic, j am, mum, If you Place
and my gallery greenery young man. comm he'd
to take tay wild me this evening"
One of the most accomplished of stenogron =
reporters is Miss Abbie Pulsifer, d. .phli
Major s. d. Pulsiler, of Auburn -"ush.er y
brought up family &c .L, me- VINO ha'
doc =. the profession in Mime. Miss Abbi,
"a not remember the time when she could mol
read and write photography, and kept phone.
graphic diary when four years of age.
The following judicious reminder has been
posted on the curtain fthe Grand Theatre, Rouea
in letters large enough to be read by every oni
present: "When fire breaks out in n theatre thu
danger most to be dreaded is an indisCrminau
rush for the doors. In the usual course the Grand
Theatre is wholly evacuated in seven minutes, 81
that the last spectator can always leave the build
ing long before any danger really exists"
bear, wishing TO rob bee. hive, laid himself
down in front oft and overturned It with his paw,
now" said he, 81 win lilo perfectly still and la
the bees sting me until they are exhausted and
powerless; their honey may then be obtained with.
out opposition" And II was so obtained, but bya
fresh bear, the other being dead This narrative
exhibits one aspect Of the Fabian policy,
He sat at her feet in quiet peace. He looked int
her face and said softly: "Ab, dear could sit her
forever" could you love p answered she. "Yes
sweet" You arc right sure you could, darlingf4
" l know II, my own" Every we'll. then you N
there, for l have an engagement 10 go out with
young Mr., Fitzpooner and won't be back thi
evening Turn down the gas and fasten the night
latch when you so away."-Ste,benrdle Herald.
A letter from Prince Louis Napoleon to an Ena