The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-02-24
In the Barber Shop.

In the Barber Shop.
"a woman, being only q beardless
woman" the sad passenger said, "wih
always, even though she succeed in OBJ
tanning the ballot, miss the manly ex-
perience of waiting sixty-seven minutes
In q barber shop for shave. She will
never know what it is to study character
from the chair. She will never see the
row of patient looking men sitting in
solemn rows around the room, reading
Yesterdays papers and Police Gazettes,
and looking upon each other with dark
suspicion, each man believing all the
others capable of sneaking into the chair
before he is next"
"She will never see the nervous man, y
said the fat passenger, ''who springs hall
way to his feet every time next IS
called, and sinks back overwhelmed with
bashfulness,a and silently accused OF cheek
with an intent to commit fraud by all the
other sufferers"
..And she will miss the spectacle of the
anxious man." said the fat passenger,
'who is supremacy fearful of missing his
turn, and keeps tally on his fingers of the
elect who are in ahead of him, and gets
excited and loses his count every time 8
new man comes IN, or an old delegate
changes his seat"
"And the impatient man, SAID the tall
thin passenger, "whO fidgets along until
he is last and next, and then runs across
the street to find twenty men in the
other shop, and then returns to discover
that seven men have come in since he
went out and tries to look as though
he didn't know how badly he was
left.'
'.And the distracted man." said the
cross passenger, 'who looks at the
chrome of a round-faced woman with
coal-black hair, and Turkey-red cheeks,
grapevine curls and circular eyes, en-
titled 1.-THE Southern Beauty, and drums
on the floor with his feet until he misses
his turn, and gets so bewildered by the
catastrophe that he can't imagine how to
work himself into the chair until the last
man is shaved.
And the foolish man." said the pas
senger with the sandy goatee, who
waits an hour and ten minutes, and Just
discovers when he is on his way to the
chair, that he is in strange shop and
hasn't cent in his pockets. Then he
looks quietly at his watch, murmurs an
awful lie about an impossible train or an
unheard of engagement, and wanders
out into the night to smite himself with
reproaches that sting like serpent and
bite like horse fly"
And the man who takes off his coat,
vest, cuffs, necktie and collar when he
gets into the chair, and looks as though
he wanted to take off his boots, trousers
and Shirt" said the sad passenger.
"She will never comprehend" said
the cross passenger, ''the Mortified feel
ings of the man with black beard three
weeks old and thick as hedge. who sees
boy with round, fat face, smooth as an
April watermelon, take the chair of his
favorite barber on the call of next
Nor the feelings of the crowd" said
the man with the sandy goatee, " on
Saturday night, when some soulless
scoundrel, who needs hanging, gets into
the chair at half-past nine o'clock and
orders shave, shampoo, hair cut and
whiskers dyed, and then wants his NOUS
tache waxed."
"And the fresh man." said the fat
passenger, "who rushes into a shop
with ten men waiting for chair, and
says he has to take train in fifteen min
utes and would the gentleman who is
next object to giving way to him as q
great accommodations
"And nobody says anything" said the
tall thin passenger, "but everybody looks
steadfastly at him, and the gentleman
who is next calmly but firmly gets into
the chair when his turn is called"
"And the man who goes around from
one shop to another, asking: How many
are there ahead of me?' until the last shop
is closed"
s'She will never know" said the sad
passenger, "what it is to be shaved by a
man with a touch like a shadow and a
razor that puts you to sleep in minute,
and who fuses over you with towels
and water and perfumes 50 deity and
lightly that you want to be shaved over
again.
"And she will never puzzle herself six
times week." said the Jester, ''trying to
understand why barber will spend three
minutes carefully brushing and waxing
your mustache, and then, just before he
lets you out of the chair, take towel and
rub it up and down your face and back
and forth across your upper lip. until he
makes that mustache look like q fright
wig on minstrel end man.
"And she will never know" said the
woman who talks bass, ''what it is to be
shaved by barber who eats garlic to cure
his catarrh, and who ought to change his
trade or learn to breathe through his
ears -Burdette. in Burlington Haa0k-
Eye.
An Encounter with q Slave Dhow.
An English correspondent writes as
follows: The story of the British fight
L1x