Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-08-06
WIT AND HUMOR.

1t IS poor speller who does not kee,
an to business.
Inc man who missed his footing prob
ably had his boots stolen.
Mrs. Langtry is so beautiful that she
is more than head and shoulders above
any adornments of dress.
It's probably true that the church is
the pewrest place on earth. since so
many OF the congregation sleep.
The cultured way to speak OF o bur-
lesque actress dress is to say that the
skirts are very decollete at the bottom.
Every maiden can have Teller if she
mas money TO buy sewing machine
with all the modern attachments.
Old lady Ito modest Curate)-.Lor'.
sir, l do like to ear you preach extrum-l
fluid. -
There is no place like home.n re-
peated Mr.. Henpeck. looking at a mot
to, and he heartily added: I'm glad
there isn't.
The ancient maiden who defers her
proposition of marriage much longer
will soon have Mr.. chances for this leap
year.
Women don't take to telegrapbv very
much. Lots of dispatches have to he
taken on manifold, and the sex don't
care for man if old.
The woman who trims her own bon
net can always be picked out OF a crowd
by other women; now if men only had
this peculiar gift of selection.
A dull old lady, being told that GER
tain lawyer was lying at the point of
death. exclaimed: MY gracious! won't
even death stop that mans lyingP"
Time, 2 a. M: My DEAR said he.
IS all right. Eve been down getting
tn returns. There's no use YOU raisin'
row. Taipt my fault. What YOU
want sh earlier returns?"
At Bullong-Mr. Belleville (who likes
TO air his French before his friends.)
"Avvyvoo Ia Parfume du-er-du Jock
ey club?' Fair perfumer-"O YES, sare!
We have all re English smells!''
A child of 5 was being taken to o
party in close carriage. and while
passing through plantation he sud-
denly exclaimed with great satisfaction:
Look, look. I'm going out to tea; but
ell the trees are going homer
Speaking of Mr.. Forbes lecture on
Kings | Have Met" Western news
paper says that some day he will come
across three kings and pair of sevens,
and then he will learn something about
the really great resources of this coun-
try.
King Ludwig. of Bavaria. who in
council, sits, and makes his ministers
stand, often wakes his old chamberlain
at o clock in the morning to play bill
lizards, and if he darcs to yawn he is
soon made TO feel the weight of the roy
al displcasure.
The other day mild little man, with
an invalid wife and seven children, won
a big black bear at Il rattle in Memphis.
The bear was rallied off because it ate
up its last owner, and the little man
who made the lucky throw is just wild
to know what to do.
Dr. G. is one of the most fervent
apostles of materialism. In recalling
certain souvenirs of his youth, he be-
gan an anecdote, in the most natural
tone in the world-''At the time was
in love with an agglomeration of MOLE
cules called Ernestine.
A woman who went to concert to
hear a performer called Blind Tom
''play by ear" says she was swindled,
and wants the fraud exposed. She says
that, instead of playing by ear, he
played with his fingers, just like other
performers.
A wicked Connecticut man being re-
Gently taken i'll, and believing he was
about to die, told neighbor that he felt
the deed of preparation for the next
world and would like to see some prop
err person in regard to it. Immediately
the friend sent for u fire insurance
agent.