The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-01-28
An Undercaker's Spree.

"rhere is my card. Judge. You will
sec that l an. Il man Of good standing
! in the community 1t read:
Exekiel Spry. Undertaken.
Judge Walsh put the card in his peck
! II for future reference. and then con-
! tenplatetl the sprightly inditlual who
stood before him. His checks were red
| with the bloom of health. there was Il
merry twinkle in his little brown eyes
! and smile on his face that seemed to
tell Of Il disposition cheerful to the last
degree. \ heavy watch fob dangled
from his vest and diamond ring
sYarkled on his little finger.
II am glad Il meet yOu.' said the
| court, perfectly satisfied with the result
Of its observation. "How do you find
business, Mr.. Spry::''
twisted up the corner Of his left eye.
'yOu can hardly say its booming.
Brooklyn is q healthy place, and that.
you know, Judge, is had for business.
Why, when l was down in Jackson
willie, we used to stand on the pier and
distribute our cards among those who
came ashore, and we'd be sure to have
some calls in day or twO-twenty and
sometimes forty in a week, Judge"
but you seem TO Ike prospecting, my
friend, remarked his honor.
Never say die" chucklc.l the prison
er, and then he quickly added: No.
judge, ] forgot myself. mean never
''espsir:' So,
your business" venturcd the court.
my name is Srry," was the response.
nut I'm a regular Uriah Heep when on
business, and | tell you, Judge, have
i velvet foot when 80 into the house
Of mourning"
The court pcclxd over the bcncI, and
noticed the prisoners No. II shoes,
while Mr.. Sprye continued:
1.-the general public, Judge, don't
Seem to mark the distinction lctwvt:il
an undertaken on business and an un-
'lcrtakcr at leisure. They think that he
should he always funercai in his aspect
and demean"r. Now ut the party last
night went through the waltz with
the utmost grace, and was the life Of ::
gay and pleasant company. This aft
pardon, this attcrnMn-I am to manage
u little job on the hill. and l venture IT,
say that by ni.y solemn appearance an';
grave bearing l will i've taken for one c:'
the most deeply afflicted! Of the iia,n;|y'
"!av" you ever had such an eXle-
ricncc::''
"Whv, YES. Judge. WIS at funeral
on Park avenue one day. Tie family
WAS poor. The minister had lkcn Civ
ing them some talk aimut being rich il
spirit, although, peer in purse, when :.
little old woman whom | hail never
seen before. callc; nn. TO one side ,n.!
said: Take il; talk" it, and may tn.
I"r.i !'rin:, you more. I've owed it t.
your wife for These. tn years 1t was
50, Judge. which the old lady felt ''6und
"'ip up under the inspiration h the
funeral Sermon"
''Y':It is inlcrsst:n-." :,s<ents! the
court. 'rruly you Mas, have had SOM.
remarkable experiences"
ON anM!c: occasion, Judge, I was
about to tell the crowd t. take the la
fond lock- when Il ~hrivs!si-np little
MAN with Il muller arn,;n! his ears.
ht''k"nv.t me to 20 over to him. 'SIlur.,
says '.c. never mind the meat bill. III
send II in r.''eiptcti Tomorrow. Never
;"r"'t Pat Murphy | didn't"
'Dn> your business l.:y::'' asked t!c
court. i
~; might. Judge. only people, ham,
up the undertaken with n.l,rh more ,
readiness even than they hang W tile /
se''''a' -" s'U'N1 H''''k'N.NN sIS iaN S1tVt"
the following ,lcvrr-'ly;ny selection ,ro,u !
the Had:
To lrus: in to bnst.
To bust IL 10 trust;
No triSt-EO bust. i
'\"a said. believe" continued his i
honor, THAT !y'"l had little job to at !
tend to this afternoon. Now, knowing |;
that this little job m,eri,cd your atte,l-
ti"n, why did you .i~conlc intox ia..sl
last nigh,:" !
the undertaken suddenly ceased tn !
smile. assumed a Very grave cast Of
countcnan'e. and s:li. in u Greenwood
whisper:
Even un'lcrtakrr>, Judge, take Il !;
drink occaSionally'
-" ! presume" was the reply. but
never become intoxicated when YOU
rrOnlise:''
by all that is disnlal,' was the
graveyard response; and then Mr.. Spry |
vanished around neighloring corner. |