davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
ON CORONATION EVE.

The Minister-Sirc, can take upon
myself to assure you that your life will
be safe throughout the memorable day
soon to dawn upon us.
The eCzar-NIemorable day! Memora-
bic day: It's a memorable day L could
very we'll dispense with. (Sighs.)
Minister assure your Majesty that
no precaution has been neglected, In
the first place there will be nobody in
the streets.
Czar-Nobody i'll tho streets? But,
bless me, that will be rather dull for a
coronation.
Minister-Nobody but the police, 1
mean. 1 have detailed ten thousand
men, who in assorted disguises of pea
SAINTS, moujiks and the like, will surrond
and escort your Majesty's carriage, fill
ing the air with joyous cries.
Czar-But are you certain that there
are no Nihilists among them.
Minister-I have provided for that.
Each man is instructed tho moment
that he notices suspicious movement
on the part of his neighbor to blow out
that neighbor's brains.
Czar-But, say, l may be hit by ono
of the flying balls, you know.
Mtnister-Then, your Majesty, l will
suppress the revolvers and serve out
daggers instead.
CARA improVcment--a great i'm
provement. And how about tho win
dows along tho route of the procession.
Minister-They have been seen to
and will he duly locked and the curtains
will be drawn.
Czar-But the fellows might shoot mo
through the glass, YOU know. They
wouldn't stand ut smashing it-thcy
have no respect for anything.
MfniSter-Then [ will have all the
windows boarded up.
Czar-That'll be expensive, won't it?
1t might be better to drive all the in
habitants down in their cellars and
keep them them there for twenty. four
hours.
Minister An excellent idea, and one
that reflects great credit on our Ma
jesty's imperial ingenuity. But 1 will
permit myself to observe that II confined
to the cellars the population would have
opportunities for tunneling-
Czar-By Saint Sergius, l never
thought of that! Still, we might put
detective in each cellar to give tho
alarm.
Minister-But If there should happe,,
to DO Il household of Nihilists n SOLITARY
Watchman would bo strangied before
'6"sy A'b"S. - ASlk VIZ uhuSI
abandon tho idea and fall back on
boarding up tho windows. AS to the
church,
Minister have had them taken
down and tho organ pipes removed.
The whole building is as bare as my
hand. There is not cover for q cat, let
alone conspirator.
Czar--Still it is Il pity to omit tho
musical portion Of the ceremony.
Minister--Wc shall have q band
from ono of your Majesty's most faith
ful regiments.
Czar-Be sure there arc no explosives
in the brasses, and see that no Nihilist
conceals himself in tho drum.
Minister! will post ono of my trusti-
est men inside of il, your Majesty. AS
for the list OF invited guests, ! shall go
over that in person and give special
attention to the delivery OF the invita-
tiOns.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
DE. Il. ATMAR SMITH.
OF CHARLESTON, s. O.,

IT
Who was graduated in 1876 at the Phila-
dclphia Dental College, and has since becn
practicing IN his native city, will visit
Monroe about Christmas when he will
open an office and offer his professional
services to the public for a few weeks.
10" All work done in the most approved
style, and satisfaction guaranteed.
November 25, 1882.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
SHERMAN, SHERIDAN, HANCOCK.

WASIIINGTON, Nov. 2S.-Wc arc
told that petition is now quietly cir
culated asking Congress to repeal SO
much of the Appropriation bill for the
current year as makes the retirement
of Gen. Sherman compulsory upon his
attaining the age Of Gl. One Of tho az
guments in favor Of this measure is
that in case OF the rctirc,aent Of Shcr-
man, as the law now provides, the
command Of the army Will dcvolvc up
on Lieut.-Gen. Sheridan during what
may prove critical Presidential cam
paign.
The supposed hostility to Sheridan
on the part of the Democratic men,
bers is the remembrance of his cele-
brated banditti despatch sent at the
time he was in command in New Or
leans.
On the other hand it is aVcrred that
a combination Of the friends Of Shcri-
dan and Hancock viii ask that the
grades of Gcncral and I4icutcnant-G G. en-
era1 be revived, the understanding be-
ing that Sheridan shall be promoted to
be General and Hancock to be Iicutc-
nant-Gencral.
Others who are inimical to both
Sherman and Sheridan say that they
prefer that the former shall retire next
year as the law now provides, ana
when they have elected "a Democratic
President, as they expect to do the fol-
lowing year, should Sheridan continue
Objectionable they will revive the
grade Of General, and promote Han
cock to the place and the command Of
the army.
The advocates OF the latter course
claim that there would be ample justifi-
cation for it in the precedents establish
ed by Sheridan's own promotions. In
1864, when he was promoted to be
Major-General, he jumped Hancock,
who ranked him a Brigadier; and
when, in 1869, Grant made him Lieu
| tenant-General, he overslaushed Hal
! leck and Meade, although the form er
| was full NIajor-General before Sheri-
dan was even Major.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
MII,I.ShpS,
.LLSAPS. C.H. TEOUSDAL
NIillSapS ~ TrOuSalaIe,

NIillsapS ~ TrOuSslale,
ATTORNEYS Il COUNSEEORS AT LAW
MONROE, LOUISIANA,
WIN practice in the courts Of the Fifth
w District, supreme Court, and Federal
Courts. Will take claims for collection in
all the parishes of North louisiana, with
privilege of managing same in connection
with resident attorneys.
Office i'll STuBB'S BUILDING, on Wood
street. August lS, 1SSl-
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
". J. LIDDEl.L
NJ. LID
Richardson ~ Lisllell,

A I'TORNEYS AT LAW, MONROE, La,
n will practice in all the parishes OF
North Louisiana, the supreme Court of the
state, tho Federal Courts, and in the Land
Office Department of the General Govern
ment. November 2o, 1892.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09


G.. J.-& j. $. HOATNER,
A TTOltNEIS AND COUNSEIORS AT
n Law, Monroe, La, will practice in all
the Parishes OF North Louisiana, in the
Supreme Court at Monroe, the Federal
Courts, and in tho Land Oflice Department
of the General Government.
oilice fronting northeast corner Of public
square. July 10, 1882.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
THE CASE OF kELLOGG.

The i;cpubiica,n minority in the next
Congress threatens to be smaller by one
than had been expected. The great
and good kellogg, who for six years
has drawn salary as Senator from Lou
isiana, and who recently became mod
est enough to run for Congress and WAS
so fortunate as to be elected, has been
denied a certificate Of election. Gov.
McEnery, being n Democrat, is of
course stickler for triiles, and he pro-
fcsses to be unable to sec that Mr.. kcl-
logg is q resident of Louisiana. If Mr..
kellogg cannot prove that he is a Lou
isianian where is he to live in future :?
He can hardly feel safe at Washington,
with Mr.. Walsh's accusations hanging
over him and the government all in
earnest about prosecuting star route
swindIcrs. Manifcsty his proper
course Is to hurry out TO the Arizona
ranch TO which the hcartbrokcn Dor
sey has cxiIed himself, AMI there min
gle sympathetic tears with his late as
sociate. Dorsey might at least hide
him from the cruel gaze OF an unSratc-
ful Rcpublic.-N. y. IlmeS- -ijchlocIatc.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09

1t Is wonder the manufacturers of
steel rails have not yet got to mixing a
less durable metal with the Bessemer.
n German engineer calculates the du-
ration of genuine, good steel rail un-
der the wear of tWenty-four trains a
day at thirty years, and an iron rail at
eleven years under the same wear.
Therefore, steel rail is economy at
three times the cost of the iron rail.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09
JOHN CALDERwOoD. TuOs. y. Anf.
1Drs. C:aIGlcrwOOai Il Aby,

Practitioners in Medicine and Surgery.
Office Grand street, in rear of +. NJ.
Mccurmicl>'S Drug Store, and opposite
-. Il. Gunby'S store.
january p, 10. n2O:1y
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-12-09

Stage robbing is considered as very
safe business. Six healthy, wcll-arm-
ed passengers try to see who will be
first to give up their valuablcs To one
sick. frightened robber.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
HARPER'S PERIODICALS.
YER. YEAR.

TER. YEAR.
HARPER'S WEEKLY. Vt w
HARPER'S MAGAZINE, ~
HARPER'S BAZAAR, q ~ W
The THREE above publications ~ W W
ANY TWO above named "
HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE oo
HARPER'S MAGAZINE oo
HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE, w
HARPER'S FRANKLIN SQUARE LlBhAhY, M
One Year (52 Numbers) ~ w
Postage Free to all SUBSCRIBERS III the Onlted
States or Canada.
The volumes of the Weekly begin with the first
Number for January of each year. When no tllne
is mentioned it will be understood that the subscrl-
her wishes to commence with the Number next alter
The last Twelve Annual Volumes of Harper's
Weekly in neat cloth binding will be sent by mail,
hostage paid or by express free of expense (provd
ed the freight does not exceed one dollar per yol),
for ST 90 each.
Cloth Cases for each volume, sui table for binding
will be sent by mail postpaid, on receipt OF 81 w
each.
Remittances should be made by Post Office Money
Order or Draft, to avoid chance of loss.
Newspapers are not to copy this advertisement
without the express order OF Harper s. Brothers.
Address HARPER y BROIHEGS,
dec 93t New YORK CltY.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
GOOD COFFEE.

Everybody wants it, but very rev geG H.
because most people do not know now 70
select coffee, or it is spoiled in the roasting
or making. To obviate these dliheul1les
has been our study. Thurber's package
Coffees are selected by an expert VINO IN
derstands the art of blending various ma
vors. They are roasted in the most perIecs
manner lit is impossible to roast well IN
small quantities., then put in pound pack
ages I'm the bean, not groauado bearing our
signature as a guarantee Of genulneness,
and each package contains the Thurber
recipe for making good Coffee. we
pack two kinds, Thurber's "No. ~,
strong and pungent, Thurbers mo. Al"
mild and rich. One or the other will
suit every taste. They have the three
great points, good quality, honest guam.
tity, reasonable price. Ask yoacr Grocer
for IHauber's roasted Coffee IN poasec: pack
ages, "No. 34' or 'sNo. A." Do not be put
off with any other kind-your own palate
will tell you what is best.
Where persons desire it we also, furnish
the ''Idear' Coffee-pot, the simplest, best
and cheapest coffee-pot in existence.
Grocers who sell our Coffee keep them.
Ask for descriptive circular.
Respectfully, &C..
H.K. ST. B. THURBER & CO.,
Importers, Wholesale Grocers and Coffee
Roasters, New York.
P.S-As the largest dealers in food pro-
ducts in the world, we consider it our In
terest to manufacture only pure and whole
some goods and pack them in a tidy and
satisfactory manner. All goods bearing
our name are guaranteed to be of superior
quality, pure and wholesome, and dealers
are authorized to refund the purchase
price in any case where customers have
cause for dissatisfaction. It is therefore
to the interest of both dealers and con-
sumers to use Thurber's brands.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
HARPER'S WEEKLY.
ILLUSTRATED.

: Harpey's Wecklu stands at the head OF American
ilustra ted weekly journals. By its bipartisan po-
sition in politics. its admirable illustrations lts care
fully chosen Serials short stories, sketches and
poems contributed by the foremost artists and au-
tors Of the day. it carries instruction and entertain
ment to thousands of American homes.
It will always be the aim OF the publishers to make
Harpe7's Weekly the most popular and attractive
newspaper IN the world.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
CAUGHT In HIS OWN TRAP.

''Confound the boy! what does be mean?
Does he think I'm going to be father to
him, and not be obeyed IS father? Does
he think L am going to give him my mon
ey to spend in business and take only in
gratitude in return? What can the young
dog be thinking Of? Plague the young
ster! What business has he to go and fall
in love with poor piece of trash? I'll
fix him! Ill-but here comes the rascal,
the spurnsr of my counsels"
AS Captain Jerry Pleman thus spoke he
sank into great stuffed chair, and looked
daggers; and twice he stamped his dumpy
foot yehemently to keep up his stern pur-
pose. He was stout-built, red-cheeked
bachelor, just five and forty. Most of it
he had spent at sea, and had lately settled
down ashore with an. immense fortune,
for the purpose of enjoying the rest Of his
days "after his own heart" as he express
ed it. His pate was just large enough to
carry his jolly face high up over his brow,
but yet he had a good quantity of dark
curls clustering about his short, fat neck.
The only near relative he had in the lower
world was Jack Kendall, an only child of
his only sister. Jerry Pleman had loved
his sister fondly, and when she died-she
was widow then-she left prayer upon
record that her brother would care for her
orphan boy. And Uncle Jerry had done it
faithfully. For ten years he had provided
for his nephew, keeping him at one of the
best schools for awhile, and then paying
his way through college. But now that he
hae settled down in home. he had Jack
come and live with him.
''Ah, you are here, are you?" said the
uncle, looking up with dagger-llke ex-
preston.
Jack Kendall was %, somewhat taller
than his uncle, but with the same family
look. He was handsome, good-natured,
generous, affectionate fellow, and loved
his Uncle Jerry with his whole soul.
Eyes, uncle, am here,'' he replied. Ia
king seat, 'and know you are glad to
see me-"
HYes, I am glad, for I have something
to say to you,'' the bachelor resumed, look
ing more daggers. ..'Have you seen that
baggage again?''
baggage, uncle?"
Baggage, sir! said haggagel haveyo
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27

The RETIRED CoNDUCToR.-."Gris :"
of the Cincinnati ''Times," relates of an
old conductor, promoted to train despatch
er, as follows: Habit was exceeding strong
with the ex-conductor. AS he sat in the
office he would start every time he heard
bell ring and yell Cali aboard" Then he
would go about the Office at intervals and
try to collect fare from his assistants. We
dropped in casually ono afternoon, and.
Billy wanted to know, il we had pass
He couldn't get accustomed to his new po-
sition at ALL He pinned to be again on the
road. One day he begged the boys to put
him through collision. which they did to
his entire qualification. They tore his
clothes nearly off, BACKED his eyes, broke
kerosene lamp over his head and piled a
red hot stove On top of him. Billy was in
an ecstacy of delight, and declared he
hadn't enjoyed himself so much since he
had a bile.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
~
Dostrp.
Happiness.


what didst thou say to Happiness
saw her at thy gate"
''This said to Happiness,
Thou contest all too late;
Nay! I cannot let thee in,
Where these graves are growing green.
"'I'st meet, thou thyself shall say,
That where my dead repose
Thou shouldst hold thy revels gay,
Thou shouldst wear the rose?
Nay! will not let thee in,
Where these graves are growing green
''Turaed she round little space,
Smiled and softly said,
L would even ask place,
There above thy heal.
To plant flowers, myrtle and rose,
Making fair their last repose.'
$50 she entrance gained at last;
How could gainsay
Such request? My tears fell fast,
But she won her way;
And the rare upspringing flowers
Wreathed into glorious summer bowers.
"she has won my grief from nae,
Wherefore, then, complain?
Made my place OF graves to be
Bright with hope again,
And, obeying each behest,
Joyfully serve my guest"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27

FEEDING YOUNG COLTs.-Y Dung colts
require grain the first year of their lives
at least. They need the most nutritious
food when Weaned from their mothers
milk. The use of cereals will prevent
checking the growth of young animals
arising from the sudden change of food
1t they are stinted in food at this juncture,
they may never recover from its effects.
Extra food and care in growing colts will
be more than paid for in early maturity,
and in their future growth aud develop
ment. Well fed stock look robust and
healthy. They put on an even
development of carcase. and there
fore become more perfect in form
than ill fed stock. Beautiful form
is measure of value. The starvelling
looks sickly and emaciated, worn out
with huger before he is matured. They
grow one end one year and the other the
next year, and are therefore out of all pro-
portion. They have not had sufficient food
to supply the natural waste of the boly,
and to replenish the blood with living
matter, to be deposited in the remotest
parts of the body to nourish and invigorate
its growth into full, matured form Colts
half starved when young, grow up with
lank bodies, long legs, narrow chests, and
deformed quarters.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
FARM AND FIREsIDE.

HORSE LORE.-The horse has the small
est stomach IN proportion to his size of any
animal. Fifteen or sixteen quarts is it's
utmost capacity. This space is completely
tiled by four quarts of oats and the saliva
That goes into the stomach with them.
Horses are generally overfed, and not fed
often enough. For horse with moderate
WORK, six or eight quarts of bruised oats
ard ten pounds of tiue hay is sufficient.
This should DO fed ID &C least three meals
and is better if fed in four. A horses d.
gestlon Is very rapid, and therefore he gets
hungry sooner than a man. When he is
hungry be is Ineffective, and wears out
very rapidly. Water fills the stomach,
lowers the temperature, and dilutes the
gastric Juice; therefore a horse should not
drink Immediately before eating Neither
should he be watered after eating, because
he Will drink too much, and force some OF
the contents OF the stomach into the large
lntestines, which will cause securing.
Securing is also caused by too rapid eating.
which can be prevented by putting hg~SW-
dozen pebbles, half the size Of the fist, into
the manger with the oats. Give only a
moderate drink of water to horse. A
drink of cold water, before being driven,
will have quieting effect On nervous
horse. A race-horse always runs on an
empty stomach. Digesting progresses
moderately during exercise, it the exercise
Is not so violent as to exhaust the powers
of the horse.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
1900 THE 1900
AOo~. BALTIMORE WEEKLY SUN. AOO~
ONE DOLLAR A YEAR


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Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27
The Dying Buddhist's Hymn.

I go to Him in whom all u.s.
The self existent Perfectness;
Who knows not OF fnality,
The only Being that can be;
Who, without motion can create,
Or, motionless, annihilate
A world whose cup Is brimming high,
With will, and self, and blasphemy.
Unto the All be honor given
I shall not see Him, even in Heaven:
The outline of Infintty.
The substance of Divinity,
Created spirit may not grasp;
Only by faith His knees clasp.
My little rill draws near the sea,
Source OF my soul, to Thee.
London Spectator
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-27

To KEEP TIRES ON WHERLs.-A prac-
tcal man writes ON this subject: 81 IRON.
ed a wagon some years ago for my own
use, and before putting on the tires filed
the felloes with linseed oil, and the tires
have worn out and were never loose.
also lroned a buggy for my own use. seven
years ago, and the tires are as tight as
when put on. Ny method of filling the
felloes is as follows: I use long cast-iron
heater made for the purpose. The oil is
brought to boiling heat, and the wheel
Is placed on a stick so as to hang in the
oil. An hour is sufficient for a common
sized felloe, of which che timber should be
dry, as green wood will not take oil. Care
should be taken that the oil does not get
hotter than the boiling heat, else the wood
might be set on FIRE and burnt Timber
filled with oil is not susceptible to water
and is much more durable. 1 was amused
some years ago when [ told a blacksmith
how to keep the tires tight, by his telling
me that it was a profitable business to
tighten tires; and the wagon-maker will
also say that it is profitable business to
him to repair wheels; but what will the
farmer, who helps to support the wheel
wright and smith, say?