Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-04-06
No. 20.
HELPING HIM ALONG,
Or Mrs. BreeZy's Pink Lunch.

I'm going to give pink lunch, said Mrs
Breezy, folding up the evening paper and
gazing into the glowing Goals in the CRATE.
you are going to what? - asked Mr..
Breezy, looking up from partially out
number of the Supreme Court Reports
Give pink lunch, said Mrs Breezy.
"A pink what ?" asked Mr. Breezy, looking
at his wife with an amazed stare
Lunch! lunch! said Mrs. Breezy. Its
the very latest thing, and must be just too
charming for anything. Mrs, Astor gave one
last week"
"Oh, she did," said Mr.. Breezy, in an
amused voice.
Eyes, she did y said Mrs Breezy, "and
the papers gave a long account of the whole
affair"
"Of course, they will give an account of
yours too," said Mr.. Breezy.
MIR. Breezy, am not SO fond Of getting
into the papers as you are" said Mrs. Breezy.
"It will matter very little to me whether
they mention my lunch or not A man who
hangs on to the coat tails Of reporters as you
do, Mr.. Breezy, shouldn't say word about
getting into the papers. You who see that
every reporter you can find has copy of
your speech before it is delivered, so that it
will be sure to get in the papers. You who
rave when they alter or leave out even a
word Of your long, dull addresses. You are
the last man in the world, Mr.. Breezy, to
talk about getting into the papers"
But how about the-the pink lunch p
asked Mr.. Breezy, smiling.
Never mind the pink lunch,' said Mrs.
Breezy, Il know you care nothing about it,
and was very foolish to mention it. Here
I am trying to be like other people and at
tempting to give US a standing in society, but
you take no more interest i'll my efforts than
a COW. You are so dull that you cannot see
it helps you in business"
Does it?" asked Mr. Breezy, yawning.
ITO be sure it does," said Mrs. Breezy. "If
men would only pay more attention to the
efforts their wives make to help tn em along
they would show much better sense, but we
poor women amount to nothing. We are
something to be indulged and petted and
given compliments, but as for asking our
advice about anything, no, never" Shall l
tell you why you never ask our advice, Mr..
Breezy?"
Yes said Mr.. Breezy, opening an eye
and then closing it again.
"Well, Mr.. Breezy, it is because you are
too awfully conceited. You always think
you know everything in heaven, on earth
and in-well, under the earth, but you don't
Mr.. Breezy As a rule you 60 through the
world stumbling at every step, when some
poor little depised woman could often keep
you from blundering if you would only let
her While you poor slow creatures are
making up your minds to do a thing we
would have got through with it and COM
menced something else. You superior crea-
lures call it intuition. 4 very fine sounding
name, but the real one is common sense, a
faculty which every nine out of ten of your
sex know nothing about"
"No," calculated Mr.. Breezy, settling still
further in his big chair and putting one foot
up on the chair.
"Mr. Breezy, can you ever manage to SIT
for five minutes in my company without 60
ing to sleep?" asked Mr.. Breezy.
NO." murmured Mr.. Breezy, throwing his
other foot up on the chair.
''Mr Breezy, if you are sleepy for good
ness sake go to bed," cried Mrs Breezy, Civ
ing the work table near her q vigorous thump
and upsetting her work basket.
"Who-what !" said Mr., Breezy, springing
up" "blue lunch-ha! !" but Mrs. Breezy was
already disappearing through the door, and
after taking realizing view of the situa-
ton Mr. Breezy settled back again in his
chair, blinked a moment at the fire, and
finally closed his eyes in peaceful slumber.