New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-09-06
on TIE BRIDAL TOUR.

Burnoy and the woman who was to be
bis bride, In mapping out plans for their
wedding tour, determined to keep from
tho world the fact that they were but
newly married. It was the bride that
suggested the idea.
| "Lovey," she said-she called him
Loyoy because he was big. overgrown,
btoad-shouldered fellow who weighed
about one hundred pounds more than
herself :Lovey, why can't we act like
old married people while on our we'd
ding tour. declare it will make me
feel uncomfortable to know that every
one is watching me. They do watch
brides, don't theyp''
Eyes, I believe they d." said Bur-
ney:
'Well, I don't think persons have =
right to be watching every motion q
bride makes, and l'm sure 1don't want
them watching me. And then it would
be SO much fun to deceive them. I de-
clare it will be just splendid for us to act
like old married people while we are on
our wedding tour: Now we can, can't
we?''
''Why, yes, I suppose we can. Be-
fore others we can be grum and surly
towards each other"
20, no; don't let's act that way. II
you should speak cross to me I'd cry
know would"
':But you must remember that I'm
not in earnest, The more surly we act
towards each other, the more we will
deceive people, and the greater fun we
will have laughing about it when we are
alone.
Every WE'LL" said the bride. "Now
let's think howwe will act. VIII Ihave
to soold you occasionally1''
mo; why do you ask that?"
Because that's theway pa and ma act
when they are travelling. declared it's
sometimes . half day before they ex-.
change pleasant word. I asked ma
what makes them act that way, and
she said she didn't know, but she sup
posed it was . habit both had grown in
TO-"
The following evening the soon-to-be
married couple spent two hours rehears-
ing . few ofthe many incivilities 50 COM
mon among married people.
':Now," said Burney, ''will you pre-
tend that sofa is q car seat? Yougo seat
yourself. and when come and sit
alongside you, you must exolaim in .
loud voice, BE careful; you are as
clumsy as q bear. Can't you sit down
without tearing my dressp'"
It took twenty minutes to get that
portion of the programme perfect
Neither of them appeared to be very
apt scholars, for as soon as they were
side by side they began hugging each
other. AS soon as one hug was ended
another was commenced, and this they
kept up for over fifteen minutes. Final
y, Burney remembered it was married
life and not conrtship that they ought
to be rehearsing, and decided to 20 back
to the question before the house.
After the bride had learned how to
call her husband bear in a surly tone,
Burney proceeded to rehearse another
portion Of the programme he had mark
ed out.
'After you are seated" he said, III
tho window is down, ask me to put it
up. You had better ask in q whining
tone, and then III reply grufly, %,
don't bother me! You are big enough to
wait on yourself If I'm reading, ask
ma numerous questions. Every time
you do 30 I'll either not reply at all, or
else speak very snappishly. But don't
mind what I say; keep on bothering
me, and I'll finally get,up in IN angry
mood and walk away and get another
seat II We can carry on that part sue
cessfully, people will imagine we have
been married long enough to celebrate
our tin wedding"
"Yes," said the bride, .'that win do
very well in the cars, but at the hotels
we can't pursue the same little schemes.
The hotels are what dread tho most.
We must have some scheme for keeping
the people there from knowing that We
arc newly-married couple. -
TO-" said BuTney. ''that viii be easy
enough. Whenever we 70 out TIL slip
ont one door and you clip out the other.
We can arrange meeting-plac far
enough away TO keep the people a. the
hotel from getting down to our scheme.
And then at the table instead Of notic-
ing me you'll be looking at every other
woman in the room. Romember, dear,
It II ct the table where most couples on
their wedding tours attract the most at
tention. We mustn't consult each other
shout the bill Of fare, and No mustn't
order the same disheA III leave you to
shift entirely for yourself, and you must
appear not TO concern yourself about
me. And, by the way, you mustn't
wear any bridal finery."
20, dear, can't I wear that lovely
white bonnet I'm going to be married
IMP
mo. that win at once proclaim you
70 be . BRIDE
but / do want TO wear my bonnet.
Il I can't wear It on my wedding tour,
I don't want the tour. y
After considerable talk, It was decid-
ed that the bride could wear her lovely
white bonnet, but the bridal veil Was 70
be left ct home.
Burney was married early In the
morning, and the happy couple were g
=.