Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-08-19
Saturday Smiles.

| is to be up all night with the boys.-Ne,o Yora;
| Tribune.
1t is said that the war in Egypt will raise
| the price OF mummies. People who have not
| yet bought their winter stock of mummies will
regret to learn this.-Norristo,cn Herald
| "A girl who sets out to look graceful in q
hammock has as much work on hand as the
man who tries to be languid with a saw-lOg fol-
| lowing him down hill.-Free Press.
Ancient angling: Many people think Ana
MAS was an amateur fisherman.-Ne,o Orleans
Picayune.
| Happy little boy: little boy, once a page,
but now in the graveyard, has been assessed by
Jay Hubbell. The little boy need not pay it.
| He will not lose his place.-Ne,o Orleans Plea
y,t,ae.
Mrs. Lilly White at work: .'Oh, dear, I
| never can get used to housework,' said young
housewife to her neighbour. II haven't a bit of
corn starch in the house to, do up Johns cuffs
| and collars. Can't you lend me q lttle:"-Neao
HaUen Register. co. p.
Sand in the sugar. "Johnny," said the
| teacher, "a lie can be acted as well as told
Now, If your father was to put sand in his
sugar and sell it he would be acting lie and do
Ing very wrong" THAT'S what mother told
him, said Johnny, impetuously, ''and he said
he didn't care. Wheeling Journal.
Sympathy: Colonel Folsom was reading the
morning paper yesterday at the breakfast table,
when he excleimed, in Mortified tone of voice:
"What terrible misfortune!" "What is it
| somebody got married?' his wife asked, in an
! Indifferent manner. mo; but married wo-
man In New York, in fit of rage, threw O
coffee cup at her husband. The cup was shiv-
cred into fragments and one of them cutting his
jugular artery he died on the spot. The re-
porter says the grief of the unfortunate woman
was dreadful to witness. She was frantic with
remOrse and made several attempts to put an
end to her existence" "POor creature" said
Mrs. Folsom, with a sigh; 81 reckon the broken
cup must have belonged to her new china set"
Texas Sittings.
"A crusty old fellow once asked: .sWhat ia
the reason that griffins, dragons and devils are
ladies', fayorite subjects for embroidery de-
signs!" "Ah, because they are continually
thinking Of their husbands was the lady's
quick retort.
-"Senator Hoar," says the Springfield
(Mass) Republican, ''has hurried to Maine to
get last hook into the trout streams before
the government dredge comes along"
This is how they raise children in some por-
lions Of North Carolina. A man will get up
early In the morning and after stretching and
waking himself good will say: "Johnnie!"
'Sir!" Have You given the calf some fresh pine
straw to eat?' Eyes, SIR" s.Then wash vonr
face in the branch, like pretty fellow. and 90
to the persimmon tree and get your breakfast"
Fort Valley Mirror.
|OM A00y lGJteT We Cndrdcter ora SeTU0nf)-
us she an early riser?"
-Esatetic Young Lady-'Don't know. I'm
sure; I'm never down before twelve or one"
O. Ills she honest?"
"a. r THAT'S matter that has never
troubled me-"
O. L-sCan she cook?"
n 7. Z. (indigaantty) 1--WE seldom eat"
why are you getting rid Of herr"
G. 7. L. (ahuddering) -"She has mother
who eats onions. know that mania to be
hereditary. She might break out ct any
moment. London Nua =