Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-03-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

on it.
A MISSISSIPPI farmer says the grea.
trouble with the people in his country
is that everybody is trying to make an
''easy" living.
elm THE light of this menagerie r.
cried the tapir. Then the other beasts
wanted to put him out.-L0uisvill
! C0uTiCy-JOuYnai.
PHILADELPHIA Chronicle Herald -
Says the baby elephant isn't an as
thetic, but its front legs are two and its
hind legs two too"
Ar a recent school examination the
son of wealthy coal dealer was asked
how many pounds there were ina ton.
He missed. Phild. NeUs.
A BORN cashier a devil fish with arms
thirty-two feet long has been caught on
the banks of Newfoundland. What
cashier he would have made.
PENURIoUs young men who go off
sleigh riding alone should remember
that there IS a Law against sleighing
without bellies. .-LotCeU Courier.
ATMOSPHERIC knowledge Is not
thoroughly distributed to our schools.
4 boy being asked, "What is mist ?"
vaguely replied, "Au umbrella"
The difference between a dog and
boy consists III the fact that when the,
dog finds scent he doesn't spend it for.
candy. .-Phitadeiphia Herald.
TNvALIDs eat green peas with great
relish in Florida. They do not see the
cans, and think the peas are direct from
n.f~
A SENTIMENTAL young man thus feel
iagly expresses himself Even as ma
ture benevolently guards the rose with
thorps, so does she endow women with
pins"
A WISCONSIN woman gave tramp
some fish. He got bone in his throat~-
and died, and now brother wants S5C 10
to settle the case. He says the woman
is responsible.
PRINTING presses in Rocky Noun
tain towns are usually run by water
power" The editorial departments are
not. Not usually-or usually not
NorristoaUn Herald.
WHAT can make more vocal noise
than boy driving ten COWS throughs
town Why, boy driving two cows,
of course. The more COWS, the less
noise-NorristO,U Herald.
New JERSEY is trying to claim Noah,
because he was a Newark man. Yes,
but You know, he looked out of his
Arkansaw land. Give the South fair
chance in this thing.
ABOUT right Little Tommy Skid
more says Indian meal is composed
of either roast grasshoppers or roast
missionary, he doesn't remember which.
San Francisco Post.
CHEERING-Dentist examining pa
tents teeth: We'll, sir, they tafkl
about coming at the eleventh hour, but
it's quarter to twelve with ell your
teeth, I'm afraid. Punch.
The other day seven Denver 6
standing together in front of the sams
store. Can't see how any young man
stays East on salary of 50 per week.
The papers tell of q courtship and
marriage brought about by note
written on an egg shell. 1t is the most
eggs-traordinary affair. The two heart
are now yolked together. Boston iif=S.
script.
THE aesthetic craze has struck Lea
vile. A prominent clergyman of th
city has written to inquire which is
most correct taste for horse-thlef bei'
lvnched-to carry a lilly or
flower.
4 MAN asked for admission to 81
for hall price, as he had but one
But the manager told him it would
him twice as long to see the show a
would anybody else, and charged
double.
A SYRACUSE man made a bet
that he could find six women IN
city who would marry him, and hey
Each one blushed, said it was so
pected, but-ahem-well, take
darling.
Miss HENRIETTA DEwCoME-
swer to your question about "ur
kisses, we may say we are prep
unkiss any kisses we may have
outside the family for the last fiv
-HarrGrd LanlpOOn.
MYSTERY explained Why is
whenever Won are looking for ar
YOU always find it in the last pl
look? The reason is because
wavs stop looking when you fiji
Darlington Hdlckeye.
4 MAINE man who didn't car,
shakes Of lambs tail about the Il
paper rode fourteen miles thrc
fierce snow-storm to get cop,
weekly that spoke of him as '
nent citizen. - Waits.
TT is said that John Roach is 81
oughly permeated with the
question that when a haekman o
told him to go to thunder, he
''I'll do it for three cents a M
ways. ."-Detr0H Free Press.
WILL nothing satisfy the Fl
Mr.. o. Wilde? The Atlantic
him u disappointment, and
| Niagara cataract fails to NEE
pectations. The fellow may
dieanpointed with Chicago
| Times.
TIE RSS~ RsS" ofthe Yankee
are small, tapering, aud he,
shaped, her are as beautifl
~, and she is without \; her
:, and her figure excites r.
prise and hankering - her
Sas city Times.
A DISCIPLE of Wilde: There
thetic policeman in New York