The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-10-24
The Girl That Dan Run q Baby but
Not q Steam Engine.

The Girl That Dan Run q Baby but
Not q Steam Engine.
A girl poet writes that che wants to
do something that will make her name
known throughout the length and
breadth Of the land. She says q:
times she feels as though she could be
great locomotive Of thought and
action. and coul. haul trains of ideas
across the continent of literature. and
wants US to advice her. She signs her
name martha" Martha, sit down
here On this can of baking powder and
listen. Ii the baking powder will not
cause you to rise to a proud position
in the world of letters, we will try
something else. Take All old mans
advice and don't you ever hire out as
an engine to haul trains of thought.
You would get hot box before you
got your train of though: to Peewau-
kee. and you would have to be side
tracked at BroOkfield junction while
the fireman poured water on you,
which he would bring from ditch in
q leather bucket, and he would fill
your brain with taIlow and cotton
waste, and your train would be behind
hand on the first trip. You are not
big enough for an engine with a seven
foot drive wheel. You have not got
sand enough in your sand-box. AS
an engine you might whistle, or ring
the bell, but when you come to try to
pull out the throttle and start freight
train of thought across the continent
of literature YOU would get stuck. and
you would whistle to take off brakes
and your wheel would slip. That's
the time you would want to sprinkle
sand or the tsack of life. and where
your sand Suppose you we're hauling
a train Of thought along q down
grade. at about thirty miles an hour,
and cow should get on the track. you
would want to 60 around the COW,
wouldn't you! Well. you cant 60
around the cow, dear, and if you 60
through the COW you get mussed up.
You may think you could get to the
rear of the train and push it through
the COW. but that wouldn't work.
Your train of thought would be scat
tered all over the right Of way, and
you get there just in time to take all
the blame. No. little one from the
size of your head you are better calcu
lated to make soap than to haul trains
of thought You wear red hat and
a. feather that would make an ostrich
sick if you swore it of onto the ostrich.
That feather is a fraud. AMI would
never stand the racket as cow-catch-
er to an engine hauling train If
thought across the continent Of liteia
ture. What you want. Martha, in
stead of a train of thought to haul. is
q baby wagon. That is about your
caliber. You Gu home. now, and pull
off that hat as biz as a hath-tub and
brush the hair back from that fore
head. Then you take off that dress
hat stands alone. and hang that polo
naise on a hook in the closet. put on a
muslin wrapper and 60 to the kitchen
and set the bread, and help around
there and let your ma have a rest
When the young man who has been
you to marry him so long, and
whom you thought beneath you be-
cause he was breaking IN q freiobt
train. asks you again, Won tell him to
name the day. You may look a little
pale next year, if you quit using that
red stuff on your face. but YOU will be
happier handling that little fifteen
pound piece of freight than you have
ever been reaching for the Infinite,
and searching for the unfathomable.
irving to make lines of poetry come
out right and jingle at the end.-Mil-
Sun.