Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-01
PITH AND POINT.

HE fun of the fair Trying I
catch husbands.
A.dARCH it said to be the most sol,
stirring music ever yet composed.
ALMOST anybody can run into dei,'
but nearly everybody has to crawl cut
it.
IT is terrible come-down for ma
to fall out of balloon, and be oi,i4,
to walk home.
No ONE ever believed beef could g
up SO high. It was quite po3r VIII, IL
commenced to go up.
STUDENT, fresh from college, to con
ductor: " wish to get on the penultr
mate car" Conductor: eve have h..
peanut car you can take the smoker
COOKED his own goose. "Mr. D.,
you'll get my coat done by Saturday i
shall be forever indebted to YOU" III
that's your game it won't be done, >
said the tailor.
"YEs, says Fogg, 81 used to believe
everything; was the most credulous fel.
low alive. But" he added, "s,nce
have had this COMPOUNDED sore throat it
is hard for me to swallow anything"
SCIENTIFIC and systematic efforts are
being made to grow the Peruvian bark
in this country. "The Peruvian bark, >
says an eminent soldier of Chill, "is s
great deal worse than his bite. Bur
dette.
PHYsIc1AN-"A And is that all you arc
going to give me-twenty marks 10,
forty visits?" Miser-"I should think
that was enough. You must conside,
that if I hadn't been sick you wouldn't
have had anything"
A NICE Judge, when asked why he ha6
allowed totally unnecessary female
witness to take the stand and testify.
said: 1" L knew that it was not neces.
sary, but I saw that she bad new bon.
net and was striving to show it.
MADAME" he said sorrowfuIly, "l
shall never be young again" "No,'
she replied, regarding him with a Gym.
ical expression, "when nature makes 8
mistake, she never repeats the same ex
pertinent with the same material"
81 WOULDN'T be in Egypt" said Mrs.
McGill, "for all the wealth of Creosote.'
Seeing look of establishment on the
faces of her auditors she added "Creo.
sOte, you know, was an old Roman god.
and everything he touched turned into
gold.'
A LITTLE girl braids the hair of one
who sits in front of her instead o. study
ing, when the teacher remarks: "Home
is the place for arranging the hair, not
here. What would you think of nv
braiding my hair in school?" Presently
Susan's hand was raised, and the teach.
or, supposing she wishes to ask some
question about the lesson, mods, when
she hears the following: "Mary saws
your hair is false, and that you wouldn't
dare do it here
Two Highlanders found themselves
unable to get into harbor in their boat.
the waves driving it cut to sea SO per-
sistently that Donald, after obstinately
battling with the elements, cried out to
Duncan in dialect which we will not
attempt fully to represent, SEQ doom
on your knees, mon, and offer bit Of
prayer" But before Duncan was on bis
knees the boats keel grated on the
beach, whereupon Donald shouted.
~
our own exertions, and I'll no be be-
holden to anybody"
THE following authentic anecdote was
told py an English lady: She had en-
gagged new cook, and, On the day fol.
lowing that functionaly's arrival, went
down to the kitchen to give orders,
which the cook received in silence. bu.
with manifest iil-wiu. The following
morning no cook appeared in the kitch-
en-, and, after waiting some time, the
mistress retired to the drawing groom.
Here sat the cook on a comfortable sofa,
and, rising on her mistress entrance,
she prepared to withdraw, observing,
"Now, You have left my part OF the
house, ma'am. I am ready to leave
yours" 1t is hardly necessary to state
that she did leave, with some PROMPT
ness, but the lady contemplates speed
ing the remainder of her existence in
hotel.
WHAT do you ask for him ?" in.
quired a gentleman stopping in front OF
a box wherein a remarkably clever
looking Yorkshire terrier, weighing less
than five pounds, lay doing, and which
was presided over by a man with pc.
culiar "dorgy" look. Fifty dollars.
sir" As the gentleman examined the
dog the "dorgy man, thinking he had
a buyer, observed, "What will you give
for him ?" "Oh, I might go $40 on
him." The look Of disgust that came
over the mans face was SIMPLY indie
scribable. Ten dollars !" he CALCULATED,
patting the little fellow on the head,
land that little tarrier weighin' but lit
tie more than four pound and havin'
caught three rats already! Sir, that's
an insult to the dorg."-New York
Hour.