National Republican., 1882-10-06
DEAD-LETTER OFFICE.
A Wan win n Grievance Amer nn Even
Ing star" Mnn.

A Wan win n Grievance Amer mn EVEN
Ing star" Mnn.
70 the Editor OF THE RRPuDLIcASi
"blar'ted Britisher," sightseeing In wash
ingion, ON one occasion visited the Dead-Lc
ONCE. OF course Johnny naturally did not re-
frain from tho national crow. He expatiated 10
the person who was explaining our system upon
the superiority of their system; how accurate
their deliveries were, &C., &c. DOUBTLESS" re-
piled tho d. l.. o. clerk, "ior If there were tho
least uncertainty about letter carrier could
step around over the island before breakfast aud
soc where II did belong" We are reminded OF this
by the structure upon tho Post Office Department,
aud particularly upon the Dead d-Lettor once ~
the Etenino Sdr Of September 30. II Is trite but
true that fools rush In where angles fear 10 tread:
In any event, when one has the temerily 10 oeal i
with question OF great public interest II IS wen
TO be fortified by facts that can be substantiated
The peculiar uhase Of letter mania which seems
pecl--frst uncomfortable grief for the mutltudes
which our colos al fraudulent department de-
prives OF It's correspondence and second, yir!u-
Office should becomc ptssesscd Of an intimate
knowledge Of the most sacred affairs OF others
To one familiar with the return letter system
THIS IS ABSURD
even farcical, and we arc constrained TO add our
quota of infOrmatiOn.' 1t is not nor has II ever
been question With any clerk In the office as to
whether he. or she deemed letter "of sufioient
importance" 10 return; the only point Is whether
Information II contains The letters nre
Of many hundreds per day. who merely. give
one hasty glance to see that there Is 10
valuable inclosnre. They, are subsequently ,e,
we said before, it Is possible to do So Often o
momcntary look reveals all that Is necessary 1t
i sometimes. bus rarely, necessary to read eter
IN order TO find a clue to the writer's address.
Occasionally faint post.mark upon the envelope,
illegible except TO IL traincd eye is the only in-
formation afforded. II probably did not occur to
tnis private citizen" and official critic that
many thousands of these unhappy, misguided let
ters thut have found
AsEPuLcHEE IN THE DEAD-LETTER OFFICE.
are without beginning or end save honeyed
" Dearest darling Jcriisha" or Your devoted
Tommy" and when Bill , writes to Mary
Ann" or n doing Mamma" to MY precious
chld,' 1t is not altogether rs lucid rs u purling
brook MS 10 whence comcth any of these individu-
ais or whittier they eoeth. But as 10 reading the
letters only as matter of purest necessity Is a
proceeding wholly unknown 10 the clerks They
feel no more interest in these dead" letters than
SO many bits Of waste paper, except to zee thst
way wouli they make among these millions lied
astray," over which Mr.. Woods drops n tear, If
they spent time In mastering their contents We
irresponsible creatures who had II curiosity about
other peoples letters, but never thought Of them
except with vague pity, us ono would have for
kleptomuniHc, an opium eater,
on A HOPELESS IMBECILE.
While entering into an exhaustive treatise upon tho
subject 1t would not lave been alnSs for Mr. Woods
To nave stated tnnt about lO,OOO letters per month
are sent out from the Dtad-Letlcr Onice, where
cXperis have supplied the deficiency i'll address,
winch made 1t impossible to forward them from
tue mailing Office. lie might also have alluded To
the vast sums of money, the yalunbles paper, aud
many other articles which are returned u their
rghtiul owners by the intelligent and dligent
workmen of this BUREAU Possibly the DeAd-
Letter Office clerks may have private views about
people who don't pay postage. Those who expect
II letter to go without delay to its destination
when not n stroke OF the pea mars the Dlankness
Of the envelope or of those whose chiroJruphy
might be Saiscrit, Chinese, or Russian, but for
tunately, perhaps
THEY ARE TOO BUSY SENDING
back dead letters 10 formulate theories in regard
to tue ignorance or Incidence of the epistolary
class. Some of these clerks, we fear, are even
Sybaritsh in their tendencies, and 1T is quite
likely will suffer severely even to stand by and
witness the throcs of this postal reformer. Mean
time the Dead-Lette Office might profess Il Kim
ship with women and dogs, concerning which the
ancient rhymrster declares, lhe more you beat
EN- the better they be- and while 1t has always
been pivotal point CT interest In the department.,
the misstatements to which we have alluded will
only serve to call attention to the details of lis
management aud accentuafe the official appreci-
alton of the clear beaded practical worker and
gentleman ut the head of this bureau and whose
services are justly esteemed as Invaluable. In
conclusion, We have idly observed that re-
formers" usually spring from class that a Ger.
tam Arkansas statesman observed were " not ar.
ter the good Of the country, but the spiles and
| perquisi.es of office. 10.