Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1882-09-24
For the Fair.

81 tell you what 1t Ii, frllahs," yavneI
Adolphis, I'm making sn AWFUL $50.
motion among the the girls. Oniy want.
ed q little fun, yer know, but drucy,i /!
they aren't all falling in love w,h me
'Pon houori ] believe I'M getting ina
hot water, Ser know" "D" you%.ui
one or the girls who CHANGED TO ors.
hear; "well, perhaps !; ~! nave liz
same effect upon you as IL does upon ta'
lobster" III say, Martha" exr.ainti
Adolphis, turning about, you'rrdrunol'
ly sharp, yer know, but blamed ! 4
know what you're driving AT nos
"Oh, nothing, replied Martha; ""n!
Holsters, you know, are green till lhry
get into hot water"
Little Georgle had been sick, and IN
consequently placed upon clos dirt
Feeling some better he begged ior Jas
one piece OF cake. "Docs Your hr,4
ache?" asked her mother. ono, man
ma" George replied eagerly; mot one
mite" "Do you feel bad nj your .L,u'
ach?" mo, feel first rate" "WrIl
then" said his mother, 81 CUES. yoa
had better not have any" Fancy
Georges feelings, aud wonder whG
would have been the maternal veriid
if his head ached and his stomach irii
bad.
In getting out of tram car he hap
penpd To stumble over the fvt OF
young lady who was sitting next 10 The
door. The damsel, COMPRISING hf
brow into an awe-inspirlng tj'a
calculated: "YOu clumsy fello1.
MANY men would have looked foolsa
and apologized, but this one was el,s
10 the occasion. lie exclaimed: ~
dear young lady, you should have lra
large enough to he seen, ana then 'o9
would not he trodden upon"
A Berks County, New York, ediS
had lust finished An able and leng'H
editorial on the physical Degenefs1
Of Women" when a robust female er
tered the Office, with cart-whlp 10 oa
hand and copy Of his paper IN w
other. Az the editor threw open ta
window and WA about u spring out' w
woman mOdesuy said she had "hroHh
the lost whip advertised IN ye-'efn.I'
paper, and she wanted the MY ce'
reward offered"
An Iowa paper says; A young ~ y.
yoIuptuOus couple IN the gallery " wv
opera house last night were Sow
come by the beautiful forms 90 y.
stage that they sank In each ousn.
arms with hug and kiss. Tbey"s
man wore All immense wide-Dfiin '"
hat, which the young lady workeI w
orousIy n q fan to keep BIN coL
rooster who saw the perforrnaneeye'T
with envy. ..,
Alta small social gathering the Stss %
evening the host kindly said: WV.
the ladies like to have little ShenJ
Everyb Ody looked at each other 49, -.
doubt whether to accept or o's1n.,
when one lady with chaTac. 49,
frankness, exclaimed: Well . r s :.
hate TO say I did not like IT, Im
was broken, and the glasses GLIDE"
merrily ~ the host was toasted A..
He came home the other nIshs 10 ~
drilling rain, soaked inside - Ssn
out. "Wbat excuse have you 70 pnn, ,
laid his better half, "fof coming e. 60
IN such berry condition" n, ~,
my dear, 'cept twas q very "''"
day"
It has become the fashion Of ~ ..
foolish young men 10 tattoo Ine .,a
Of their sweetheart on Their hsn "a
II don't hurt the sweetheart AZ .,S
n one OF these Eolishvouths shoa', ~,
marry some other girl, would o." '0''
he fun. -.
When Hood wrote "There J. q 9.pS 4,
ness that makes the heart airs ,olof
was probably thinking Of one 60 $50
when he sat up very late WIN ~. ~
and did NOT know what minute m ,sI
man might come humping do'n
stairs. ,-,.Is-
BY long cu4om everybody 10 , 49, =.
hem b expected TO coners.ins Inc
aUsintancts on every BIRTHDAY ~,
Inc a wi,ole town coDgTstulsun5
e. nisf maiden on having entefea
forty-seventh year. ,tbL
'sIfI have ever used Any ,;isI -
words, Hannah" said |: Mr. smDt,, -
fiectiyeIy, ~ take them ~, ne thfs
"Yes, / suppose you want "'
all over again." ,Ins
A Michigan COW got n s xrseu
clothes line, and parsded .n so e,ai
clad In underwear that no H. - osfSi
make any use Of, and yoTo
to have heard the boys wboop -:
A Young man recently marie ., -
81 tbourht when / got mar!e1 .Io~;
would darn my socks and " o.. 80
tut instead OF that she 'ee
alone aud darns me-" .o, y
A north country f.h-s ,i, e,,ody sL
buy 4 dress. "None ofyop me rs
ors for me- she said at once " rcd =
at the counter; "give me pun
The New Orleans Picayune ~. .'Siss..
point lace stockinss are both IT VI
BE and expensive, but Is
lust how high they come Linn %
A Dutch judge, on COW 1. aid: 'Bs
culpyit for having four Wv lIfss -
has punishment blenfy'
onep .k~s ~
The Young skipper who ts ss So
NJ riris ont ssilIng should COW
,f..fIl G..,~l,,S The nbOSe.