The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-23

III the court s'oofn. where ley ilnt pris-
oncFsis Guile..;Is Bothered the experts SO
stiiat they hasi. 10 put lin ia the pen.
Think you understand il now =
ssOf course, asseLted Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, s.but why Didn't Trey PIT Mr..
Scovilte and DIR. hsssd t here, toog They
care trying to bother the EXPERTS just as
much as Guiteau did. Tliey won't let
! the poor men alone.
.sDon't YOU know<tlie difference be-
tween a lewyer and q eiinlinalqa rip
ped mir. Speppendyke, ..or is that too
line q distinction for youp Reed and
ScoviIle are defending Guiteau, Porter
and 4orkhilf and Davidge are prosecu-
ting him. Of course lis lawyer will
eross-examine the Witness against him.
But. it's no use to explain anything to
YOU
sI4understand that much.'' returned
Mrs Spoopendyke, ''but | don't UNDER
stand what Judge Cox means by pitch
ing into the lawyers and overriding
their questions The first he knows the
experts will swear that he is an asym-
metricd, and then he'll be put in the
dock with Guiteau, where it viii go
hard with him. l tell you Judge can't
be too careful how he behaves" and Mrs.
Spoopendyke pinned the baby's skirts
and smoothed out it's dress.
.:Wow!,' yelled MIR. Spoopendyke, I'M
able for an instant to throw his feelings
into any coherent form of speech.
..You' We struck itie You're whole bar
rel of canned judiciary! All you want
now "a red label on your back and some
marginal notes to be dod' gasted law
library! III you'd change assistants once
a month and win four cases duringson
term of office, you'd only need three
deodands and plug hat to be a district
attorney You've got the ideal There's
nothing more to be said on either sidei
Give you a black pettieoat with sleeves
TO it and a wart on your nose, and
you'd only want restaurant IN the
basement and a lounge up stairs to be a
United States Supreme Court What
dye suppose a Judge is for, substituted
Think he sits around to ease the pris-
toner, turn and turn about? Got some
kind of an idea that he is work on eti-
quette, with notified leaves and yellow
binding, and Tommy sfrom Fanny, on
the fly? tell you he presides! And
anybody but half witted woman who
didn't think with her heels and reason
with the rat hole next door wouldn't
need to be told of it more times than
she makes an idiot of herselfr'
IL Tic pIcStucSy II al liSHt, lGJoii-
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke, with a sigh of
relief, ''but l got the idea that he went
there to feel the public sentiment, and
then say those were his views, and he
was Only helping the prosecution to see
the error of Guiteau's ways before his
conduct was snapped up and used
against him. - @
e Mr.. Spoependyke drew off his cloth
ang solemnly, fired the pieces into diff
ferent corners, and waded into bed with
the stern reflection that .'some people
only needed side-wiliskers9 and a note
book full of bad lectures on repealed
statutes to be a modern law schoolr'
'EI don't care Tnuttered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. Il like those experts, and 1
wish my husband would go into the
business. They may not hang Mr..
Guiteau, but they'll find the jury insane,
and Mr.. Porter will have to look up
some other kind of a job, for this trial
cam't last forever
With which satisfactory solution of
the national complication, Mrs. Spoop-
endyke undressed the baby, dropping
thea1,ins where Mr.. Spoopendyke would
be sure to find them the moment he
stepped out of the bed in the morning.
Eagle.