The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1882-08-04
JOSH BILLINas ON uoURrINo.

JOSH BILLINGS ON COUKIlNG.
Courting is luxury, IL is salad, il is
Use water, it is beveridge, it is the pla
spell ov the soul. The man who has
never oourted haz lived in vain; he haz
bin blind man amung landscapes and
waterskapes; he has bin def man in
the land Of hand organs, and by the side
ov murmuring canals. Courting IL like
2 little springs ov soft water that steal
out from under q rock ut the fut ov
mountain and run down the hill side by
side singing and dansing and spatering
each uther, eddying and frothing nnd
kaskading, now hiding under bank, now
full ov sun, and now full ov shadder, till
bimeby tina jine and then tha go slow.
am in favor ov long courting; IL gives
the parties chance to fnd out each
uther's trump kards, il is good exercise,
and is jist as indnersent as 2 merino
lambs. Counting is like strawberries
and cream, wants to be did slow, then yu
git the hayur. / have saw folks git
acquainted, fall in luv, git married set
tel down and git tew wurk, in three
weeks frum date. This is iist wa sum
folks larn trade, aud akounts for the
CRATE number Of almitey mean mechan-
ichs We hnv, aud the poor iobs tha turu
out
Perhaps it is best shud rtate sum
good advise tew yuug men, who are
about tew court with a final view to
matrimony, ez it waz. In the first phase,
yung man, yu want TO git yure system
awl rite, aud then find a yung woman
who IL willing tew be courted on the
square. The next thing il tew find out
how old she IL, which yu kan dow bi
asking her and she will so that she iz
10 years old, and this yu will find won't
be far from out ov the wa. The next
) best thing il tew begin modesate; sa
; onse every mite in the week for the fust
: six months, increasing the dose az the
pashient seems 10 require it. 1t IL a
fust rate wa tew court the girls notaer
, leetie on the start, for there IL one
thing woman never dispizes, and that
", leetle good courting, if il IL dun
strikly on the square. After the fust
: year yu will begin tew like the bizzness.
! Thare iz one thing / alwas advise, and
that IL not TO swop fotograifs oftenei
than onse in 10 daze, unlese yu forgiI
! how the gal looks.
OCCASIONALLY yu want tew look sorry
i and draw 10 yure wind az tho yu had
pain, this will set the gal tow teazing ~
! tew find out what ails yu. Evening
u meetings are good thug tow tend, il
y will keep your Religion in tune, and
then il the gal happens tew be thare, b
> aksident, she kan ask yu tew go hun
q with her AS ginral thing wouldn'
y bragg on uther gals mutch when was
is coorting, tmite look az tho yu kLu tey
mutch. II yu viii courts years this wa
L awl the time on the square. il yu don
?. sa it IL leettle the slikest time in you
q life yu kan git measured for Int at N,
L expense, and pa for it. Don't court TO
MUMMY hOt OubJs uoh toAhohuhos ehcN
10 things are jist about az ousartin as th'
kerosene lie refining bisness, liable te'
~ git out ov repair and bust at enp
minnit.
Court a gal for fun. for the luv y
g bear her; foi the vartue aud bizzne
n thare is in her; court her as a wife an
ri for mother, court her as yu wud coul
g. farm--for the strength ov tho sile an
i the parfeckshun ov the title; court be
q as tho she wasn't fule, and yu nuthei
ID court her in the kitchen, ia the parlori
e. the wash-tub. and at the pianner; coul
ID tins way, yung man, and il yu don't g
" good wife and she don't git goo
g. husband, the falt won't be in the courl
I'd ins.
" Yung man, yu kan rely upon Jos
ie Billings, and II yu kant make these rule
IL wurke jist send down for him and l
ed will sho yu how the thing IL did, and
d. | ahapt boat yst a uat.k