The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-01-20
Nistrl lanru1rs.
The Bachelors Confession
by HELEN FOREST GRAVES.

| live in French flat. OF course there
are objections to French fats. So there are
to most things. I can't afford hotel, and
detest a boarding house. A bachelor of 30
odd, who has been at the mercy of boarding
house keepers all his day, can easily under
stand that
So when engaged suite ofrooms-third
floor in French flat cdifce-and arranged
my household goods therein, with fine look
out over green dot of a park in front, and
the glimmcr of q palisade far in the rear
above a forest of shipping, l considered my
sci well off.
What is my profession? l haven't any in
particular. I'm an artist and draw a little !;
daily, in front ofmy easel. contribute to the
press, and write when the divine aflatus
seizes me- read the law when feel like it
and draw n little income from snug little
property left me by an uncle in India. Con-
sequently was able to decorate my new quar-
tiers very prettily with Bagdad rugs, old China
dragons, black and gold Japanese screens, and
pictures had picked up at q bargain.
And when the fire was burning cheerfully
in the crate, the first rainy May evening, the
student lamp shining softly on the red cary
ed table, and the waiter from a neighboring
restaurant had brought in my frugal dinner of
broied bird a mold ofcurrant Jelly, slice of
roast beef, and Il raspberry dumping, con-
sidered myself pretty comfortable.
Upon the whole" says | to myself, 81
rather approve of French flats"
rang the bell The janitor-a respectful,
decent sort of fellow, in round jacket and
carpet slppers-answered the summons
CANTOR" said |, "who occupies the floor
above?n
Nobody, sir" the man answered Last
,,,punl ,roctorIay ori,,
moves in tomorrow"
"a large family ?" said I, rather obviously.
"Bless your heart, sir" said the man, "no
family at all-single lady, sir?"
AT this | congratulated myself more and
more
81 shall have the prospect of Il little peace
now, think" said | =; and ate my dinner in
fools paradise ofhappinesss.
The single lady moved in on the morrow.
She must have moved in when l was down
town selecting some new mill boards and
color tubes for the summer sketches intend
ed to make, for when returned, fondly ex
pecting once more to enter into my kingdom
of peace and serenity, everything was chang
ed.
There was a banging and pounding over
head, a humping and hammering-a sound
as if some middle aged giantess in hob nailed
sHOCS WIS CD lug ltlScll Ill IL plOHlGllulC-
l sent for the janitor in a rage.
as the house coming DOWN. said |.
"It's the new tenant amovin' in, sir "
said he, apologetically.
"Does her furniture consist entirely of Her
rings safes and square pianos?' said l.
There is two pianos, sir" said he. "She's
musical"
"The deuce she isl roarcd I. 1.-TWO pianos!
And does she play on 'em both"
Don't know, sir, I'm sure" said the man
with a distressed expression of c6untenance
l endured the noise until midnight, and
then sent up the janitor's WIFE
THE third floors compliments to the fourth
floor, and would like to know if this sort OF
thing is to go on all night?"
Down came the woman again.
Fourth floors compliments to the third
floor, and wishes to know fhe expects people
to get settled without noise?"
The next day the piano-only one, how
ever-commenced | was celebrating skele
ton for scientific essay, and it disturbed me
seriously. endured it as long as l possibly
could, and then l had recourse once more to
the iantor's wife.
"Third floors compliments to the fourth
floor, and will feel obliged if she will favor
me with little peace and quietness long
enough to do some necessary writing"
There was no reply, and the music ceased
abruptly. But that evening when l was he
ginning to solace myself with little violin
practice in the twilight, tap, tap, tap came
the ianitor's wife at my door.
Fourth floors compliments to the third
| floor, and will feel obliged if he will favor
her with a little peace and quietness, long
enough to write letter"
How hated that woman So we lived fol-
! a month, exchanging constant missiles o.
| warfare. | could cheerfully have given uI
that miserable French flat and gone back tC
boarding, only unluckily had engaged it fol
he year. The fourth floor elocutionized
and had friends to select private readings
whose voices were deeper than Hamlet's ant
more sonorous than that of Charlotte Cush
man. She was charitable and had classes o
heavy-booted girls twice week, to sing
hymns and learn to sew. A single lady, in
deed If she had been quadruple lady sh,
could not have made more noise, nor enjoyed
the making of it more.
At the close of the month, however, an in
cident happened which turned the current o
my whole life went on picnic. don
often go on anything ofthat kind; but thit
was an especially select affair gotten up b.
my friend Harold Webster. went, an,