The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-26
SHORT BITS.
A woman of grit the sphinx.
Voices of the night-babies.

the men get their pay.
Solitude shows us what we ought to be
society shows us what we are.
The Arabic for cat is "gitt." That
ought to be the English of it, too.
Ladies make poor railroad officials, for
their trains are always behind.
The latest slang among ulstered young
men is, well, should SILVER"
The pork packer likes library with
plenty of buy-hography.- Louisville
Courier-Journal.
An exchange says: can umbrella that
keeps Lent the year round is altogether
too religious for u.s.
Cremation has rather q comfortable
sound to shivering people, especially
these foggy cold mornings.
Mr.. Damit lives in Illinois. He is not
O very prominent citizen, but his name is
a household word.
So our lives glide on; the river ends we
don't know where, and the sea begins,
and then there is no more jumping
ashore.
81 notice that you always sit at your
wife's left Mr.. Miggs." "Yes," frankly
returned Miggs, that's the side her glass
eye is on"
The Century for November has an
article entitled, 1.-THE Choice of Saddle
Horse" Probably his choice is to have
plenty of oats.
A little child was addressed by gen.
tleman the other day: How old are you,
my door?" he asked. "Old," said the
child, Indignantly, I'm not old at all,
I'm quite new"
The Rochester express says: "It does
not necessarily follow that because a
man is half-breed he likes half and
half" Certainly not. A half breed
always sticks to Bourbon straight
when treated.
Boston School girls have got 30 that
they can walk mile in twelve minutes.
Each one is provided with gong, the
same as hook and ladder truck, and it
is only now and then that anyone is
killed.
Any actor who can pay SO for beer,
SO for five-cent cigars, and furnish
twenty-five dead head tickets for the
gallery, can engage two dozen American
jackasses to draw him to his hotel after
performance.
A Chicago girl left one of her dresses
stuffed with a pillow set up behind q
lace curtain at her window, and fourteen
fellows who passed had just as much fun
waving their handkerchieves at it as they
would bad it been her.
A railroad man met with a serious &C.
cident the other evening. He had Just
emptied one schooner of beer, and was
in the act of reaching for another, when
his wife unexpectedly appeared upon the
scene. He was caught between the bum
pers with the usual result.
An ingenious Baltimore small boy got
a good kite string for cent. He went
into drug store with his dog, called for
a cents worth of licorice and, when the
clerk turned his back to get it, tied the
end of the ball of Irvine on the counter
to the dogs tail and gave the animal q
kick.
II can we'll remember the time" said
Mrs. Marrowfat, leaning over the fence
rail, in confidential conversation with
her neigabor next door, "when Simpsons
wife was glad enough to get plain
woollen shawl to wear. Now she always
appears in sealskin sacque." "Ah, you
forget" was the reply, that Mr.. Simp-
sons brother has become a bank
cashier"
Look here, Matilda" said q Calves
ton lady to the colored cook, "you sleep
right close to the chicken house, and
YOU must have heard those thieves steal
ing the chickens" 'Yes, ma'am; heerd
de chickens heller, and heerd de voices oh
de men, "Why didn't you 60 out
then?" "Case, ma'am, bursting into
tears) case, ma am, knowed my old fad
der was ont dar, and l wouldn't had him
know Use lost confidence in him foah
all de chickens in de world. If / had
gone out dar and kotched him, it would
hab broke his ole heart, and he would
hab made me tote de chickens home foah
him besides He done tole me day before
dat he's gwine to pull dem chickens dat
night"
A young man has gone up for his ex-
animation in medicine. I'VE will now,
says the examiner, pass on to consider
the relations of medicine with Legislation.
Ahem! Is physician authorised TO pre-
scribe for his mother-in-law in the event
of her sudden illness, no other doctor b.
ing within reach?" Certainly not. .
"You are admitted to our profession. my
young friend, and feel sure you will do
It honor" When the examination ID
over. the candidate accosts the examiner;
Doctor, it was very kind of you 10 do
it, but even if / am to marry your
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