davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-08-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

William Tell had an arrow escape.
Gum Arabic-The language talked
by toothless pasha.
The bachelors refrain-a lass The
maiden's refrain-ah men.
If the mosquito would only stay to
hum-but they do not they stay to
sing. ~
EYES," said farmer, "barbed wirs
fences are expensive, but the hired man
doesn't stop and rest every time he has
to climb it,"
A woman who waits for her huss
band to return from the lodge has an
object in view, and more than likely
another in hand.
Stoves are supposed to be some5
what modern invention, but the
Egyptians were warmed by Alexander
the Great B. G. 300.
"They tell me you have had some
money left you," said Brown. "Yes,"i
replied Fogg, sadly, " it left me long
ago."-BoSton Transcript
"Prisoner, this is the third time this
year that you have appeared before
this court. What has brought you
here now, ehP" "The police, STRIP
This bit of conversation, which we
find in an exchange, is both timely and
expressive: "I think this ice cream
tastes little cowy," said he. "Minel
tastes bully" said she.
A lad who had been bathing was in
the act of dressing himself when one
of his shoes rolled down the rock and
disappeared in the water. In attempt
ing to rescue it he lost the other one
also, whereupon contemplating his feet
with a most melancholy expression,
he apostrophized: "Well, you're nice
pair of orphans, amt you?"
Their house in the country was
raised few feet from the ground,
and Tommy, to escape well-deserved
whipping, ran from his mother and
crept under the house. Presently the
father came home, and hearing where
the boy had taken refuge, crept under
to bring him out. AS he approached
on his hands and knees, Tommy
asked: "Is she after you, too?"
A French photographer boasts of
having been able to catch the impress
ion of flying bird. There is nothing
at all wonderful about that. A man
who has no scientific attainments
whatever, without any effort on his
part, caught the impression of flying
bat. 1t was very clear impression.
He was offering resolution at a ward
meeting when the accident occurred.
"Guess we're all right now p puffed
the old gentleman as, mopping the
perspiration from his forehead, he
reached the steamboat landing with his
wife, just in time to be too late;
"guess we're all right" "Guess we're
all right, do you?" rejoined she, catch
ing glimpse of the steamer as it ap-
peared around bend in the river;
"guess we are all right Well,
guess we're all left" And so they
were.-Detroit Free Press.
THE EsTHETIC YOUNG LADY.
There was fair maid named Louise,
Who, for handy-work, painted frieze;
The room was quite big,
Yet she cared not a fgl
This jealous, aesthetic Louise.
But, alas for the Lady Louise
Who worked at her task by degrees
The style OF that day
Had long passed away
Ere shed come to the end Of her fneze
SO, in time, TO the group at her knees
CINE gTandchildren whom she would pease)
She said: "'Twil improve 1t,
I'm sure TO remove it"-
And that was the end Of her friezel
Joel Stacy, in 81. Nicholas
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-08-31
Playing for Their Fingers.

The Malays have at all times been
addicted to gambling. In those days,
in Ceylon, they would "play away the
ends of their fingers "over the draught-
board. They would sit down with a
fire burning, whereon was set pot of
walnut or sesame oil, while beside it
lay small hatchet with an exceed
ingly sharp edge. The loser placed his
hand upon a stone, and the winner
chopped off joint, when the mutilated
finger was plunged into the boiling oil
and thereby cauterized. Some men,
fond OF the game, but unskillful or un-
lucky, had every finger shorn Of its tip.
All the Year Round.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-08-31
NO. 2S.
The Dead.

The dead alone are great,
While heavenly plants abide on earthi
Their soil is one of dewless dearth;
But when they die mourning shower
Comes down and makes their memories
flower
With odors sweet, though late.
The dead alone are dear.
When they are here strange shadows fall
From our own forms and darken all;
But when they leave us all the shade
Is round our own sad footsteps madei
And they alone are dear.
The dead alone are blest.
When they are here clouds make their day,
And bitter snow-falls nip their May;
But when their tempest time is done
The light and head of Heavens own sun
Brood on their land of rest.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-08-31

In 1870 the value of all the mems
clothing manufactured in the United
States was $147,000,000. In 1880
$l25,OO0,000 worth was made in the
five cities of New York, PHILADELPHIA.
Chicago, Boston and Cincinnati.
, 1882-09-23

Ino,s Of the trade a obts;nei, hut from the
Numerous small towns scattered throughout
the country. Everyone Is aware that nu-ner-
oes small things eorceItrs.;ng into one
causes large ones
The END Of the track Is now % rs.les be-
yona Sandy Point sad progressing eastH ara
every day. l: vii DC =, the Upper Cross,
inc. 81 u.iles from Sandy Port, about the
frst .: next month
To-day We had the irst ram sad haii storm
OF the seasln. For hall al hour ha;I-stones
.sn tie sizc c. chestuu:S, which made 81
persons take TO the woods Tor ircte-tion,
sad al animals lay hack their cars and hump
sherlzelrss, So 20 speak, 70 a. 20 cort'ae;
:dei. upper surface inic as small space a.
possible.
Al the boys we,e made happy tins eve by
the arrival Of Cashier Noxen, Chas. Gibbs
AMI Ed Smi:hcrs, with tie pay nils and Z
large bundle OF checks. which the Company
now Use entirely to pay oa ti'eir men with.
Oae accustomed to new camps could tell It
was pay day by the whoops aud yeils TiIch
now. le NJ. Ie echoes through The ''ocn-
tair.- NA>HTyGhSA.
, 1882-09-23
From the n. P. Front
HEAueCRETEgS CAMr.
NP. L. L. CONSTRUCTIuN, sept ill

HE4UvCkETEgS CAMr,
N.P. Il. L. CoNSTRUCuoN, sept IL
EpIroR STATESMAN The first stage con-
meeting through t, Misso,:Ia, l,it here this
morurng loaded down with passengers. The
through passenger frsin no. runs 20 Rock
Island Landing, on tie CLARK Fork rYer.
The new steamboat " Kate Hai.ett now
makes no regular tIirs :T Passer EerS, II BE-
ing kept busy Forwarding construction sup
plies. ~ all passengers come rom there "y
stage. From the present passenger terminus
to the Upper Crossing Of 'l4r''s torA Il Is
- miles. The stage on shis route Is owned
md r,n by lin BsliWir. an 0la-time west
,.rn stare-driyer. From tie cpi 5s'te s''ie o.
Upper Gro. sing - Miss ssula- 20 mixes l. /,
NcCay. of vo3r civ. has l-ne Of ce7en's IN
,criye oprra.i:n. TGe country ai'nE the
" hole o: that roate is beginning u boom, IN
ANTICIPATION o: the iron horse agFro-eh!n5;-
Iii. somewhat novel sisLt 70 ~Itress the
io,d,ny and having Of the stage eoaehes from
IN. town of white canvas tents, Which are
st,,es amongst the yslI pneS on zach side 81
the wagon road tor hal: nliie- Every ore
~ leisure III camp gathers aIo-cd 'He ceaeh
AZ time oE departure; passengers p'!e Oh
,ri,-rsrs, ti,ey can se- a hanJ-h"!d. hHth IL
.i1s and out. aud TIE whootI"s and god
h,. cheering. as the rrAraiug horses dash
dawn tre nl.rnt-in read. puts one IN mind
u the rooi ola days Il o'sr.-nd s'aE'eg pl'
II SACRAMENTO. CaL
n, ,be east. bound coach o iiay were t:sTsa
.,---a.,.sl .rzrc'ers tron3 Clsv,lani. Oli",
who intrnl to work the me,ohlnIs along the
.,r,s rnd IN Noatans, 70 the interest OF
E.+.rn firms. N Plci6, Coast drummer.
:. ,bo.e essential GENT are usually termed
has ,u. IN his appraruace over this roase'
-, = Ne has he has kept very quiet and not
,n.d. ;;useli kuoan. Western merchants
sr,,.ren,Iv DO not hkr 20 venture ou- 100
lar for .sar they my get let ih'y are
doing . fair l,ttle business, 20 are Ss'i=iie'i'
,-h;It other MERCHANTS, endowed ~lih rns'-
ling qualities, come tom all quarters d tl5 1,
cIabe AZ 4 do business all aruaud tIea' u,
they a-e lei, completely IN the SHADE. s2d
finally have no trade left wha'eyeF'
IL was al very weu foE 1 delegation OF
ns,,.bsnt, :, visit NissOu's to SCI what
nr,sr,,.. for trade that town held iosth, but
s.ner,l thing ,seIl-to DO merchant IS
-, siuav. the best nor night r'las - drum
. trade. II takes mAa Ehe unier'
stands, and i peculiarly fitted Tor mai hne
OF business.
Nov. in the iirc CT drrrnnin; business Il
!, no, Always 10 the principal cites Whers
, 1882-09-23
Schoo, Punishment.

! IU.- COMES froaI res.i r :. - son las
eriiens;y had whipping 1t aaho-9:. asking
"Do yoa favor fogsing ID srhool,'
We have DO word TO say IN defense Of
severe punishments in school. bu: We helieye
rha1 teachers, in their effort 20 maintain
order. should have the support OF POPULAR
sentiment; zt least unit! something better
offers against Il. thar WHIPPED boy's story.
Siany gifted AID talented man ard teacher
mas been ruined BY being pub'.cly psradsd
as brutal master, on the simple word Of a
properly whipped bog. The lesson Of obsd!-
enes must be learned BY our boys, or our
rnen VII be ruiians If society ca-ss 70. the
future government. o: these boys IS Een.
there mzs. Be mere loyalty TO ths teacher in
MS efforts 20 restr,in the vicioas tendencies-
Want Of this loyairy We consider serious
asf-cce agsias. tbs educational ia.eIe=.s 81 a
ca,nnunlry. Discipline in school lii- Huss Dc
maintained
, 1882-09-23
Increased acreage

W,inng of this matter IN Umatilla county,
the Int Drsao.lirR SAYS:
From various parties with whom Ne have
recently talked ae learn that the amount
u land s0wu to wieat III this county thIs
rail- ~. greatly exceed rnat Of any prccci-
in ycar. And this increase extends t1 all
parts ui the C-IIn.v. Sr"trsl farmers viii
seed = 900 acIrS "r upwards rach. And
.4u.., I number u TIrIn Is IL the cianty viii
,i1ot 100 a-rrs each. or over. With favor
anl5 s. a,on Cma.I!ia county viii have an
'Tin, use sur"'"s c'oP h"Nt S'ar, hut that
will Only ie I small part ot the amount that
viii he ssIsei IL fltura vars, that Is II our
agricultural eggs Will hatch, and Nc think
the most u tn'n. Vii.
Aul lhe sarn- central statement wili held
good bcre IL Wails Wa;A valley and vicin-
.ty We L-ar Of farmers aakins AL iner ase
O.: up,srrr's of "a per crn: in the acreage,
while the impression IS prevalent one that
lai: that per cent. will Re the increase
-r,,f;s-zort this valley Ire same report
comes from the ra,,usG REGION. There aIe
f:rru,.s IN this valley Sho hsd a thousand
acres hi. season wLa wjl! increase % fifteen
o- eighteen hundred tor the neNt season-
Cleaning tl.o exchange iis, Il the STATES
,-.,x. ,hi.h embraces ii lie gapeIs IL East.
rrn Washington AMI Gr's,a, We firi tha'
the disposition among tIunsi IS II double
NJ, on acrcI-c, oT nearly PC. AID to tnis the
hundreds and thousand, ut acres Of hereto
;,re u,.luproyed lands, and takiag into con-
sI,!rr,ticn the increase ci rome demand, and
tlis section of country Will next year. II A
flvarlble season. have surplu. q; ~. GOO
or 80. .CH1 bushels Of gram.
, 1882-09-23
Why She Talked to the Fly Screen
Man.
D-.ruit Fn- Pfess.

1~tIUlt fn-e Pfe.s-
She knew he was the fly screen Inan by
the samples under his arm, but shp held
the door open. and PERMITTED him to say !;
"Madaul, | n"tiee that yon haven't 4
fly screen at any door or window
'.Not a one. she answered.
"You must be cverrun with flies Z
''Yes, indeed.
"And this seems In be good locality
for mosquitoes
"Oh, Yes, SIR.
II presume they bother you nighuf
Very much
And great deal of dust blows into 4
house not protected by .ereens- "
"a great deal, SIR. "
Ind how many windows have You in
the houseF'
sixteen.
Each one ought 10 have half size "
"Yes, sir.
And can make them checper {" you
than any other nah in the business
Il think you csn,"
"Do you prefer plain green or hgnredt
We'll, | always did like plain green.
"V.ry well will measure your wln-
dows, ard take your order.
"You needn't trouble yourself any
further" she quietly replied.
"Whai, Don't you want screens"
.Nu, sir. The other day the woman
across the street had ten INMATES CONVEX
sation with tin peddIer, and shea had
I her nose in the air orer me ever s,nca. 4
ly sereen man ia about threa times a.
high as pntato nian, and I've been talk
ing with you 10 let her ere that she isn't
the only lady in town who can PIT on airs.
Shes mad as hen by this time, and hos
you ge, up and dust OF III have my dog
run rou clear IN the river
, 1882-09-23
Our Schools
[O-lf 1...f -ls-.-
HALIA MAiLA, S-pt. J


WALLA WAiLA. S~pt. y.
FprFoE STATESMAN The inter=s. !rit Ia
ou- schools AMI evinced by our people ia
erecting 4 cro,iitable school building finds IL
reward Our luh,ic school rooms are fall to
OycItlJw,a.. Whitman College Cannot re-
ceive its applicants for admission. To ali.
rich and porr. who add - tie tax receipts
Of our ci;y, this scholastic status Is tall "f
promise and reward. lie merchant, tu,!-
ness MN. mechanic aid all canno. bat teel
proud OF their citizenship, Is they meet on
our streets the bev.es Of children en IOute 10
their re-pec;trs schools. O.s caHGnt tut
ievl that all our institutions are founded
upon the intelligence Of the masscs ami viii
remain safely guarded IN The keeping ui the
school children Of to-day.
Education carries Nth - I love II righr
and liberty OF thought. Pope, potentat' and
prince ms no place IN the miisa of sch"vi
Children sui the atmosphere Of pubh2
schools. EGicts n,rst taii before reasoning
power ct.lr:rl:ed by education and the mag
uetic power of scaool-. Encouraged in =
good work, 81 vel iDanrGrat d. let u c.n-
unuc III well doing.
The central position uf Walia WALTZ. tho
culture Of cur people and all. puts "ur city
in place fo-a fi;st-class collegiate Institution.
With proper eiior. and organization Whit
nan College can br enlarged until ncGe need
be turned away
Eiucatiql to youth Is Ms hrra,i 70 the man
or woman. sec1rlty ualrr law and tee great
es. citt ur cdu make 10 oJr cSi!.trrn and
,ko-, o: aur irs, i"rtuns;c neishinr- TIE
bright eyes aud ciean:y iaces tha: one meets
sctoolwart bound IL enough to cal! 10 mInn
Of sven the childic-s Taxpayer, "Whoso-
ever shall give 70 drink .n-1 oDe Of th',c
little ones cup Of cuid vG'aT uui., stai' IL
no wise lose his reward.
a / attacks upon our free gn:cIEmeilt W.!
ever iaii SO long as wc maintain our ff'e
i -l;uoIs S. well AMI t':yfouglif Is sh-s
eat" rri. Dy "l.yuHeuts- - ----- : -..,--
crnrnent that ogr schools must be frs. ni-
Tackled to reach our strength as pecFle.
The Eoston school boys seHze "f r;sh. 5-olie
through the despot:sm OF Gen. Gage.
For some wer,, fre sel in thr city l--..,
And some clad r. -ged ard thin
Tis, ba turned N his all ard s,,ftly ,1ii.
I'VE reyer can laurels Tre:.lhe.
By fighting the ones whose veiy -aES
Draw lie. " when they BREATH"
, 1882-09-23

ing burslaries. There are reasons other
than those generally offered for this state
oi things. Where the administration of
Justice Is the NEST lax there crime pre-
rslls. We are constantly confronted with
the fact that legal delays are constantly
thrown around the onviction and Dun
Ishment u criminals, and this Is Of itself
a cause OF crime The chicanery Of law
yers, the plea Of insanity. the sentiment
a.isn cf ;hs general public, the bad ma
terIai Of which juries are composed, and
often, the partial discussion Of cases Of
capital crime hy newspapers, lead either
to the escape Of the guilty or to made
quate penalties for their offences. Itisa
Common thing To see that wealth guilds
crime and breaks tha lance Of Justice.
While poor devl is not cven allowed to
plead eAtenuatIns motives, but i
hurried through the form u
ina! - the prison Or the gli'uEs.
IN civil cases, where the defendant has
fallen from high estate, though he may
have beggared thousands Of widows and
orphars hy the betrayal Of sacred trusts,
Ills former position pleads in his favor,
and he escapes the punishment the vide
spread ruin he las wrought, deserves. II
he b.. condemned to long term OF IN
prispnmeu,, he is set at liberty before he
has fairly entered On 1t, by the i'll abused
Grace ~ governors OF presidents : poor
wretch, who, under tho stimulus Of hun
ger AID want. tuh- a till or the harder Of
Iils richer thief, is dragged to curt,
uled ANA Consigned 70 the longest term
ii imprisonment The Law permits, ana he
Is kcp; there until his legal time is out.
All this Is outrageous, but We suppose
II viii bc 50 Just 50 long as rich and poor
inhabit the earth, and the one IS allowed
privileges on account Of that wealth, and
the other * considered 4 poor devil, be-
cause he is poor
, 1882-09-23
Editorial Spinnings.

How c-usistent, grand and inspiring it
IS fer Republicans to hear fellow, ex-
Claiming:
"Principles Of that Curious National party
which led the country safely and success
fully through mighty war
When, under the guise Of patriotism
this word strjnsing driveler, sneaked .ntn
The service Of ihn country, for better
opportunity TO get his work in on such
quart termastcr's stores az axes and hppr.
This IS a uice specimen OF humanity to be
oiteling political or moral advice to a Is-
cent public NJ wonder decent Republi-
caEs repuaiaie HIM and his alleged paper.
The editor IF the Watcinprt is hardly
consistent when he says OF the Democratic
nominations. The ticket put IN the
field, is with hut two exceptions, very
good one, and then adds, "we have Ii"
fault TO iird with either ticket" These
expressions are Il contradiction IA they
stand.
We do not h,lievr that orativns aud set
srccc!,es carry weight aud canvietian
with item; and Jli,t 1t ia mistake TO
look upon thgse things as any great or
even considerable force IN public affairs,
when compared to the power Of the prr>s
r:gAliully used.
II there il anything in n title the c.
inaib,a bal, n,iga; ;.s vel consider itselt
cleaned NJ. iar ;iya Cn!nh.ls are now ex-
aal.l,iuy IL, " n.th.;hat Object.
What tcguL.,s n,,z: iii ALLEGED edIt"r
II tie ina,iuaI efi1rt a, = newspaper, is
ts.e fsc- that The Republicans, having lost
al cauflente in his political honesty or
ability - 90 them any sort Of service.
clne l. this paper t.r notice, rs a matter
Of busInrsS.
"Ee,ry mau His Own Fre!gh, Hand
lrr." IS In, latest hooh production by
some eaterf.risug hack
The usual iIdnsament to attend pc
NE in .tFizana. is having cnuaie OF men
SHIT or s,ahtei. It enlrens things.
The following is The sist of New York
dispatch Of The 18th; Tiidzn has been
s. t.,i,i bc disease from which his ply
s:crans have SAID h. cannot possibly re-
cover. lie may l.nger awhlls, but his
early dralh i, certain. Tie present 'r"n-
n, !, ,lrat-i, beng, i'll medical TERMS
avsxy. ar disorder of the nerves, and IN
plan fact an incident in his progress TO
ward ,yfran!ns uf tie hraIa. III. Iiidcn
has been spending The summer at Gray
stone. Ias handsome country place, under
,h.. care # physicians. who advised per-
feet rast Il mind ana body, They hoped
,,p;.rrde would restore him, but 1t did
no. and the AGATE conditions has come on,
conplcte'y disabling hun 4 cons"ita-
.iou of p,,y.;ci..us has been held and the
hopcleszuess oi has ease Is no@ understood
alike by medical men and the patient.
AcsrresPoudcnt OF the San Ffane'-c"
CaR vi, has fallen upon Spokane Falls
writes, :.it had r5,inei srd he SKY, clear
washed MS c,Falt behind its cu'"ul"se
,.r,r,-v!;,,r q .uis.~ That viii stmue
Peter Rosch The sunsmith, and Harry
H.ywarI VIII keep ii as i standing Joke
on cnarsc. said candidate yester
jsv -,,e all LesPise the Press and he
smiled IS lie sud it. The sentiment Is
uot rautull. The Press does noi d'spise
such , candidate. He Is zoo fuDny t" be
a,sti:.d Tie press smiles ia return and
..Ls f;c, - say moIe fanny thlnsS-
, 1882-09-23
Men. hot Principles"

This is a time when political cant ~ al
sorrs falls UNDECIDED on the ear. Voters
can no longer he cs.ught by fne sounding
wor,is that mean nothing. They xro in =
critical mocd aud not 1t all dominated by
sny windy phrases that can be turned TO
serve all manner of oharistanry. The d.
Sinlty that for many years hedged the
mission ni the Republican party, for IN
stance, hedges that missiun no longer,
for the mission has itself ceased 10 he Il
living force.
Too many Of the leaders II that party
have SD far failed 20 see AMI understand
this. They 60 on As If worn-out and set
tied issues could stll call men To the polls
AS if they were nov ANYTHING more
than mer- soris, words. These leaders
belong to the pasta brilliant past, per
haps, but still the past They learned
the OLD creed in the dsys of their ado
leseence, and in their age they persist in
repcatlny IL. obhyIum that nobody Is
listening TO the too often told tala-
Ihrv are the olos who talk about
-. =. : ,irs, n,., men, and who believe
that the party can Yet win victories by
h,nylng It's ta,tered banners on the outer
walls ard throwing the ancient tsunts at
tie Democratic foe They are obl,vinus Of
The iart that all these '.princ'pirs have
hsi their day, and tina. rh.y nci; h.r aiaTn
nrr Encourage any longer
\ Ien yrnera;ion ha4 s,':.-e Ln The
scene IL cannnt be moved ty tho worn-
out party calls. The new men take
practical view nf politics. and they hid 1t
difficult 10 discern the difference between
the two parties, excepting in the men
which tram under the respective hanners-
They see Republicans and Democrats IN
Congress alike voting for ur againt Civil |
Service reform, revenue r.fnrIn, internal |
improvements, and many other things |
which are living ISSUES and ON which |
party lines mIgh he drawn. They can |
tnd not single questiru of the least
prominence demanding legislative sOlu- /
ton On which one party stands arruyed Is
n whole On one side and the ether party |
on the Other. Whs; f,ly To tals to these
voters about either Republican or Demo
cratic principles Such talk sounds III |
their ears Ike a tale hy an idiot, full Of
sound and fury, signifyins nnthIne-
II neither party Is ready to take up |
ne~ and living is-u-s and hattie for them,
then either can only hnpe {" succeed by |
presenting the best men fer office. That !
State Of New York this taii Is The party |
that * likely to secure the Guvernorshir |
Ii the Republican party is foolish enough
10 n,.minaie any NAH for that position
who Is personally and politically corrupt, !
OF who IL a personal or political nonenti'y |
he will I've defeated. No appeal tn the
old principles yf the PARTY, no pointing
with pride to its past achievements, wall |
be Of any use if /, makes ;his mistake
" Men, not principles, must he its motto
until it succeeds in crystalirzins definitely !
around new and vital principles,