Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-11-23
FLASHES OF WIT.

tality, and yet entertain hopes.
It is wise bank cashier who takes
no vacation.
"Bsen tuplitical meet'n," is the
excuse now nightly given by hus-
bands who can't find the keyhole of
the front door,
"My new stall is of polished ..sh and
cherry, trimmed with black walnut.
We shall probably raise the freight
rates about Nov. l.
No matter how loose an engagement
ring may be, the diamond never slips
around on the inside Of the lady's
finger.
A Pennsylvania paper chronicles the
attempt suicide of one Agnes Wunder.
Of course, Agnes will recover, for Wun-
ders, you know, never cease.
1t is whispered in our ear by one who
is impartial to card-playing, that It'll
quires two packs to play game-a
pack of cards and pack of fools.
"Yeu see, my child, this turtle one
nishes the best combs that are made,
and yet he cannot use one, as he hasn't
single hair to comb.
where's the molasses Bill?" said a
woman sharply to here son, who had
resured with an empty jug. "None in
the city, mother. Every grocer has a
big black board outside, with the letters
IN. 0. Molasses' chalked on it."
A cabinet organ which can be taken
apart and packed in d trunk has been
patented. If we have ever said any
thing against baggagesmashers we APP
pologize most humbly. Let the good
work go on.
Now that the chilly winds of autumn
is blowing cold across the moor, the
thoughtful road agent has begun to
warm the Leadvllle stage coach pass
engers by covering them with revolt
vers.
An evidence of eccentIicity: eyes,"
said the man with the cuilcd mus
tache, Charley is good fellow, but he
is so eccentric, you know. Why, he
asked me to-day for five | borrowed
of him last summer"
A hotelkeeper announces that he
has added "a celebrated gas-stewing
machinen to his establish ment. We
shouldn't think it..would improve gas to
stew it; but there may be some persons
who like it that way.
"What did you think of my train of
thought" asked lecturer of sup.
posed friend. II thought it lacked
one thing" said the supposed friend.
"Ah," responded the acknowledgements,
"what was that? "a sleeping car"
was the answer.
A miner fell in love with girl at
first sight, she was easily smittcn with
him, and the entire courtship was "My
pet?" "You het"
Louis Michel, the famous French
Socialist, travels hundreds of miles
weekly, and delivers on an average
three lectures every day. This is being
social with a vengeance.
Why do all you Americans say
"deepo" for station? English Tourist.
We don't. Some of us say deppo, others
say daypo, and few others depot.
Now tell us why we Enslishmen say
Eye knaw" every six words when you
know we don't know, you know.
A crusty old fellow once asked:
"What is the reason that griffins, dra-
CONS, and devils are ladies' favorite
subjects for embroidery designs "Ah,
because they are continually thinking
of their husbands" was the lady's
quick retort.
At TroNville-Mme. de G. to hel
husband, who comes home at 4 O'Clock
in the morning? cat what time did
you get in this morning." "About mid
night, dearest, about midnight-a few
minutes after, perhaps" eyes, $40
after, i counted them"
A reporter interviewed prize fat
woman whose whose weight is 72O
pounds. When asked, "Do you still
claim to he the largest fat woman in
the world?" she frigidly replied, "Ex-
cuse me, sir, but | do not recognize the
title. am said To be the largest large
lady on exhibition"
II pnt secret kiss under the post
age-stamp for my darling" wrote a
Cincinnati man to his girl. She deity
removed the stamp by steam, but found
no kiss, only some remnants of plug
tobacco and strong odor of beer.
They are not married yet, and not
likely to be.
81 believe you're fool, John, F"
testify exclaimed Mrs. Miggs, rs her
husband unwittingly presented her the
not end of a potato dish, which she
promptly dropped and broke. Eyes, y
he added resignedly, "that's what the
clerk told me when / went to take out
my marriage license"
Argonaut soup: Take a pail OF
water and wash it clean. Then boil it
until it is brown on both sides. Pour
in one bean. When the bean begins to
worry, prepare it to simmer. If the
soup will not simmer it is too rich, AND
you must pour in more water. Dry
the water with towel before you pul
it in. The dryer the water the sooner
it will brown. Serve hot
"No, ir-ee," remarked the old resi-
dent" my wife didn't bring me cent
But it was my fault. | wouldn't nave
il. The morning Of the day we we-c