Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-06-14
PLEASAHTRxES.

TIM world moves because IL can not
pay rent
TuRrrrz-Y Yes, . blooded horse II gen.
orally . good gora
VINO were the first astrolosers9 The
stars; because they first studded the
heavens.
"VARIErY is the spice Of Ese," but
there's such thing as variety show
being too spicy.
AFTER marriage the question a. to
who shall be speaker Of the house is
speedily settled.
CLASSICAL: When Ajax defed the
lightning it was just after an infection Of
q ightning-rod agent
DURING the next century compan-
ion story TO "The Man Without Coun-
try" will probably be written. II will
be entitled "The Man Without .
Pension"
DANIEL WEBsrEB used 10 say that the
great interests of the country were unit
ed and inseparable. He doubtless had
reference to the corn crop and whisky
manufacture.
"SoNE men are fortunate In their
friends, remarked young Brown; ''now
there's Smith; he never has any trouble
in borrowing IS, and couldn't raise .
loan Of so conts IL I tried Rosfon
Star.
AT town meeting large taxpayer
rose mp to protest against building new
echool-house in certain part OF the
town. whats the good Of ?" asked
he. "They are an ignorant set down
there, anyway"
"VIoLET, dearest, do you play that
tune often ?" asked Hugh Montressor Of
his afiianced. "Yes, pet, and when we
are married I'll play it all the time"
Then Hugh went out and shuddered
himself to death. - .Steu6envjgte Re
publican.
DIR. 8. II. FORD, OF st. Louis, win
soon issue volume on the Great Pyra-
mid of Gizeh. h.-Er. How is iae going TO
get his presses up on the pyramid We
should think book published on the
Great Pyramid Of Gizeh would come
very high.-7eras Siftings.
SCENE ON THE NILE.
How does the little crocodile
Improve his ehining tail,
And pour the waters Of the Nile
On every golden scale.
How cheerfuIly he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws
And welcome little fishes IN
with gently smiling jaws
--cincfnnad Saturday Night
The latest joke about King Kalaksua
of the Sandwich islands is that he cannot
help being good man. The reason as.
signed is that his ancestors ate so much
missionary in their time that IL worked
in their systems and was transmitted TO
their descendants. missionaries who
are eaten are, after all, not wasted, IL
would appear.
AN Austin Judge asked q prisoner he
was about t. sentence il he had ever
been punished before. "I should say
SO. I've got an uncle who is member
Of the Missouri Legislature. Poor
fellow" said the Judge, wiping away an
army sized tear, "you have already saf-
fered enough" and he ordered the pris-
oner to be discharged from custody
7eras Siftings.
A CHARMING woman, who is bit close
about money, without at all susrecting
herself Of that fault, received the New
Years greeting of her daughter. "Ah,
my darling" said she, "when you look
for your gifts You viii find I have not
forgotten you" "Dear mamma"
"Yes last year, you know, gave You
the lovely gown you wanted so much
this year you shall have the money to
pay for il. t."-Paris Figaro.
WHEN Farmer Bulge read that bull
painted by Rosa Bonheur sold for S5,-
600, he remarked that he did not see
how a coat Of paint could SO greatly en-
hance the value Of the animal, but il
Rosa wouldn't charge more than so he
would get her to paint his bull in the
spring. And his econom ical wife replied
that she thought he might paint IL him
self and save the $40. The indications
are now that the bull will be painted.