davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
A Few Simple Recipes.

The Small Boy-Take equal parts of
noise. dirt and four horse power steam
engine; mix with bread and butter to
the taste the boys taste), and set the
mixture to cool in the middle of ten
acre lot. If you find you have put in
too much noise (Which you undoubtedly
have). turn over and kncad with the
hand or split shingle.
The SaleSladv-This is very easy
dish. All that is required is little
giggle, brass to season, and garnish-
ing of frizzleS. bangs and cheap jewel
ry. Mix in an empty skull and serve.
The Politician-Tact, one part; two
eyes for the main chance; one tongue,
well oiled. and rs much check as possi-
Bile. Ii you have little brain handy.
it may he added sparingly; but it does
not matter much, and most housckeep-
ers consider any Use of brain in this
connection rs eXtravagant. Bake i'll q
slOw'oven, SO that it need not be done
brown. If il be more than lalf-baked it
is ruined.
The Poet To make poet take lib
orally of shimmering sunshine. strain
through n rhyming dictionary. and add
equal parts of lovesick adjectives,
archaic adverbs and such other words
rs you may never have heard of. Set in
q warm place, where the whole may be-
come intimately mingled, and garnish
with long hair. secdy clothing and an
empty stomach.
The Author such facts as you
have in the house and mix with twenty
gallons of gush and twaddle for each
fact, and boil down one-half Then add
OF classical illusions, threadbare stories
and ubiquitous anecdotes ten parts each,
and serve in greasy coat and bald
head. Some prefer to send to the table
in curl papers, triced with hair-pins; but
in this case the sauce must not be for
gotten, and little politico-poetic tran
scendentalism is also a great improve
ment.
A Kiss-This is composed of equal
parts of honey, sugar, ice cream, soda
with four kinds of sirup, love in a cot
tage and supernal bliss. 1t can be made
in The dark just rs well rs in the light.
Bake in an elliptical dish, and serve
warm.
Charity-This is usually served cold.
When warm it is very apt to spoil. and
must therefore be used at home. Take
one part heart and one hundred parts
talk, and stir together until the heart is
dissolved, and add sufficient policy and
worldly wisdom to give it flavor.
Charity made by this recipe will keep q
long time in any climate. e.-BoSton Tran-
script.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
The Wolf as q RefOrmer.

One day Wolf, who had been pom
dering deeply for whole week. start
ed out on walk through the Forest.
Meeting Jackal. he said:
"My Friend. pause for little time
while l give you Il few words of ad-
vice. You are Il cross, snarling Great
ure, hated by men and despised by all
the Creatures of the Forest. Let me
hope that you will mend your ways and
reform"
"Ho. no! ho. but you are q pretty
specimen to give me advice!' sneered
the Jackal. "Why. it isn't n month
since you devoured an old woman and
chased Professor of Elocution into the
Riverr'
The Wolf passed on until he met
Hyena. BY that time he had recovered
his cheek, and he worked up sad,
sweet smile and observed:
"My dear Mr.. Hyena, you would be
an ornament to society if you would
cut your nails and clean your teeth.
Let me hope that you will cease your
depredations and become an honest.
conscientious animal"
That's nice talk from an old wretch
who lies in ambush for children!' re-
piled the Hyena. why, if l was half
as mean a/vou are I'd want some dy-
ing Jack-Rabbit to kick me to deathr'
The Wolf next met Fox, and after
the usual salutations regarding the
backward condition of the crops the
Reformer began:
"My Friend, feel it my duty to ad-
wise you to quit stealing spring chick
ems and get your living in an honest
manner. Show the world that you
want to be good and respectable and
you will soon be beloved and honored."
"Taffy!' grinned Reynard-" tatfy
on a chip! You old villain, you'd bet
ter own up to some of the dozen MUIR
ders you have committedn'
The Wolf next met an Owl, and when
they had compared notes on the Malley
trial the Reformer said:
"My dear friend, why is it that
neither the Jackal, the Hyena nor the
Fox will receive my advice TO reform?"
"My venerable fellow traveller"
slowly replied the Owl, reform should
begin at home. Wash up-get rid of
your bad breath-clean out your den
quit stealing and murdering-drill
some decency into your own family,
anil then come and see us"
MORAL:
1t is the men in State Prison who
most lament the wickedness of out
sidcrs. s..-DetrOH Free Press.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
The IS Masher."
Is he a rare bird?"

is he a rare bird?"
"He is that The species used to be
so plenty that every city had them by
the score; but of late years the Fool
Killer has got in his work So well that
only about a dozen Washers can now be
found in the whole United States"
"He ~ q sweet look"
"Certainly; he has stood before the
glass for hours to practi ce on that look.
When he parts his hair in the center,
wakes his little mustache and takes his
dear little cane i'll hand for a walk on
the street, he calculates that sweet LOOK
will knock down every second lady he
meets"
His plumage is very fine.'
"Oh, yes. The Masher always gets
the best. because he beats his tailor and
leaves his washwoman to sing for her
money
"Is he valuable bird?"
Ills carcass is valued at from two to
five cents per pound, according to the
price of soap"
"Then the species will soon become
extinct?"
"Yes; in a few short years the Mash
er will be known on earth no more. The
Smithsonian Institute and two or three
medical colleges will have specimens
preserved in alcohol and skeletons on
exhibition, and old gray-headed men
have II dim recollection of having once
seen the animal promenading the earth"
Detroit Free Press.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
Sails Surprising Steam.

About the year 1914 began the most
important era in the history of Ameri-
can ship.building. Our Liverpool
packets had already demonstrated the
capabilities of our builders and mar
iners. The Canada, for example, un-
der the command of Captain Seth G..
Macy, made her trips almost with the
regularity of steamer. Fourteen to
sixteen days was the average length Of
her voyages between the two ports.
This may have been an extreme case,
but the fact remains that these ''liners"
made remarkable record. -" With
out mooting the question about the
respective merits of the noted Aberdeen
clippers and the American ships which,
during period of perhaps fifteen
years, circled the globe with their vast
expanse of canvas, it is not too strong a
statement to say that some of the runs
made by our ships at that time have
never been surpassed by either sail or
steam.
The great builder of packets, Isaac
Webb, died in 1843. Donald Mckay, a
native of Nova Scotia, who removed in
youth to Newburyport and made a
name there and in Boston, began, at the
same time, to win a worldwide reputa-
tion for clipper ships of a size and speed
hitherto unexampled. Many competi-
tors appeared at the same time. The
ship James Baines, built by Mckay, ran
420 miles in twenty-four hours. The
ship Red Jacket, built at Rockland,
Maine, ran $3.50 miles in seven days, or
325 miles per diem for a week. The
Flying Cloud, McKay's most celebrated
ship, once made 374 knots, or 433 miles.
in twenty-four hours and twenty-five
minutes, equal to I'LL miles an hour.
To appreciate these distances, compare
them with the greatest distance ever
made in twenty-four hours by q Liver
pool steamer, the new and now cele-
brated Alaska, in the fastest westward
passage yet accomplished from Liver
pool to New York. Her greatest run
was 419 miles in twenty-four hours.
This proves what all sailors know, but
of which few landsmen are aware-that,
with strong and steady favoring wind,
1t is possible for sailing-ship to equal
the speed of an Atlantic Steamship
The CenturU.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
UNICN SHrfTD HE M.lEnY9

sai'i ;.e ,"t'hlrl Fred. I" :il- Tvclc larry,
i ~ r'rI.t mat, ~ i,'N i-iiui iu mary
I'4t cav not &c C.'l, IL l. - htft,r
1i:t 10y" ~ lncrr shall tu. ,c the f, TER"
At. w'!!"ck hilp"cih us J aH.i sorrow;
Nt :ri.'' t"-'igF :tI'L W. We, 10 InuTruw:
hn'! fT' IL, hr,-'ll alNal, BE- st"Iiay weather
MAere t"" At, l'i,' G'iailA l"hed t"SetheI..'
'Wo!l. here's the case" said tccd. with emo
uru:
%,i've eiyi to Clara my heats dcvotion;
but. she h.s ~ n on;'y: aud. ucle Harry.
luU kro" 'tvuUld hc i"iy Tor IL, - ln.lrry"'
well L d' II t-ku"W. s!lG tt.e g: her. turning
Ills gaze toward the Youth, oince the fire Is
hnTninI.
I've word ii counsel t, give you whichi is.
Marry Tor love, and work i"r ric.,rs.'
.Hut Grace. You Sec" said the anxinrs Freddy,
has a lllce Little huus'' keeping fund all iIeady.
Ani viii help !l,ng with contribution
10 steer from tie straits of dcstitut!un.
Mh.n ncney Is s.aice, and the wife Is ailnc.
tell You, uncle. 1t not plain sailing:
And IL bear up under Times changes and
chances
Is easy, If easy our circumstances"
stop. stop" with Il frown said Uncle Harry.
" ne plrl that You love IL the cirl 10 marry,
Anu If she's tru.. shell NOT :Alnk ii cruel
To 1--we for awhile on vater-stuei.
She II comfort You III the tiinc ol ttiai:
She ii whisper naTght uf her s;'!f-d:nal;
And cheerfuiiy take tie rCcded sti'cEes-
Who marrlcs for love. and not for riches!
Don't think f0- moment. Ircd It's bette.
To brad the ttait wlti = gold. letter;
Though many do 1t. yer may riir IT,
and Love Is teartul witness Ia it,
There ism I Il chance for Plea -ant weather
Where two are uretiualy Noi.rd toce. her:
So turn your back When money hcwlt hes.
Marry fT tore ant uoii, for ricicS.'
jose it3iHc I,di.ir;i. IN firdirju' 5 I1ufIiIu
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10

be no bullets in the pistols. We will 90
out, eXchan sc few shots, make friends
and then 20 into business together.
This will be the biggest advertisement
we could have and the people will tloci,
20 us. Bravery in the first place and
magnanmity in the second. you see"
That is. indeed. n capital idea" re-
joined Buckle" "Yes, sir. people will
point at Us and say. they are two of the
bravest AMI best men in town"
They Immediately began % contro-
gerSy through the newspapers. Latch
called Buckle a squint-eycd liar. Then
Buckle called Latch n go-gle-eyed liar.
Latch called Buckle spotted liar with
co'.-iish eye, and Buckle challenged
him. Arrangements were made with n
couple OF seconds to whom the whole
ihing was explained. and who consid-
cred the plan a fine piece of invention.
The men were to fight with Derrinrers,
distance ten PAGES. A grove, Just out
side of the city limits. was chosen rs the
battle ground On the night before the
duel was to take place. the seconds met
in beer saloon, and while sitting at a
table, one of them remarked:
"Say. of course. We are paid for this
thing, but after thinking the matter
over, hanged if [ like the idea OF giving
a reputation of bravery to = couple of
towards. Suppose. in order TO remove
the counterfeit part of the affair, and to
sustain our own characters, we load The
pistols with small shot. We ret our
money, you see. in advance"
The other second agreed.
The morning came, bright and beau
tiful. The officers of the law knew
nothing of the approaching duel. yet
there was considerable excitement
among the people. a large crowd
assembled on the grounds. The COM
batants, seconds and surgeons arrived.
81 do not like to enter into blood
she'd" said Latch. majeStically," but
Mr.. Buckle has insultcd me- I have
never in my life borne an insult l give
Mr.. Buckle another opportunity to re-
tract"
81 never retract," replied Buckle, in
q firm voice. "What | have said. |
stand by with my life. am not afraid
to die. sir. My reputation to me is
worth more than my life"
LAS you will have it," said Latch,
slowly, turning to take position. Il
had hoped that | would never again be
forced to shed blood in defense of my
honor. but it is rs you will have it,
The antagonists We're placed in posi-
ton. The seconds winked at each
other.
"Ready, aim, fire ~ Bang! Bang {!
A couple of loud yells arose. Buckle
ran around with one ear almost gone
and one eye almost knocked out. Latch
writhed in. agony and blood. You
cursed fool (" yelled Buckle, rushing up
to Latch. "What made you shoot me.
Amt you got no sense ?''
"Go awayr' howled Latch, "or I'll
kick tie life out of YOU"
The people couldn't understand why
a duel should terminate so violently
The two seconds looked at each other
and winked. Buckle and Latch are
now in Northern hospital.
1rdrcier.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
Orange Insects.


When dish of oranges is seen on tho
table for dessert. the fact is hardly re-
allied that in all probability their sur
face is the habitat of an insect of the
Coccus family. This tiny creature is
found on the orange skin in every stage
of transformation, from the egg to the
perfect insect, during the winter
months, instead OF remaining dormant
in the cold weather. as is the case with
most of the insect tribe. 1t would hard
ly be possible to find St. Michaers or
Tangerine orange that had not hum
dreds of these little creatures in various
stages of development on its surface.
Lemons, too, are frequently covered.
Upon inspection, the skin of an orange
will be found to be dotted over with
brownish scarlet spots of various sizes.
These specks can be easily removed by
needle, and when placed under mi
croscope. an interesting scene is pre-
sented, consisting of large number of
eggs. which are oval white bodies,
standing on end, like little bags of flour,
some of the inhabitants of which may
very probably be seen in process Of
emerging from the opened end of tho
egg. The female insect upon leaving
the egg has six legs, two long hair-like
appendages. and no wings; it thrusts .
sucker into the orange in order to OBJ
tain nourishment, and never moves
again, passing through the various
stages of development until it lays its
eggs and dies. In the case of the male
insect, the chrysalis after short period
opens and the insect flies of. The
male is supplied with wings twice the
length of its body, and each of the legs
has hook-like projection. 1t has four
eyes and two antenne, and is SO tiny
that it cannot be seen when flying.
From some parts of Spain oranges
come to us having their rind covered
with coccus of quite different type.
The surface of oranges, indeed, affords
the possessor of microscope an infinite
amount of interest and amusement.-
Chambers Journal.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
A Wonderful Lake.

Carniola, in the Western part of Aus
tria, and fronting on the Adriatic Sea,
is region remarkable chiefly for its
subterranean streams and immense cav
erns and abysseS. II is very mountain
Gus, being traversed by spurs of the
Alps, and covers an area of 1851 square
miles. Its inhabitants are a hardy,
thrifty race, engaged in the cultivation
OF wine, timber, maize, and millet.
Ut all the wonders of nature to be met
with in this country the one most de-
serving of notice is the lake of Zirknitz.
This lake takes its name from small
market town with population of 1900,
and situated about thirty miles north
east of Trieste, the principal seaport
city of Austria.
Lake Zrknitz lies in a deep valley,
surrounded by beautiful hills. 1t is
fair sheet of water, six miles long and
three miles broad, and teeming with
fishes and waterfowl. The monotony
OF this large expanse of water is relieved
by five small islands, on one of which is
the village Of Ottok. These islands are
favorite resorts for picnic parties. The
bottom of the lake is formed of lime
stone rock, and is full of clefts and fis-
sures. During prolonged dry weather
the waters pass into these caverns, car
rying their finny inhabitants with them.
The church bells give warning when the
first sign of the sinking of the lake Is
observed, and the people hasten to make
the most of the fishing while there is
yet time.
When the water has entirely disap-
peared, crop of luxuriant herbage
takes its place, affording pasture for
the cattle of the neighboring farmers,
who are thus enabled to reap where
before they went a-fshing. With the
recurrence of heavy rains the lake
gushes forth from its underground re.
treat, rises speedily to its normal level,
and resumes its ordinary appearance.
Until comparatively recent time the
causes of the periodical disappearance
of the lake were involved in mystery,
and people were content 10 accept as
a fact that which they could not ex-
plain. In later years, however, scien-
tific men have devoted many years of
their lives to the task of exploring these
underground recesses, and with the
happiest results.
Although the subterranean geogra-
ply of this region has been, to the pres
ent, only sketched out, still enough has
been discovered to satisfy them that
many of the underground passages ex-
tend to long distances, and it has been
conclusively proved that the waters of
the Zirknitz Lake at the periods of their
recession flow through UNDERGROUND
channels into the river Unz, which fur
ther on joins the river Save, tributary
of the Danube. Harper's Young People.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
WHOLE NO. 1143.
USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE.

-Wastefulness treads on the heels of
extravaganza, and the model farmer
will not tolerate either on his premises.
"A tree overloaded with fruit can
neither perfect the fruit nor ripen its
wood properly. A great many trees
are annually ruined by too much CROP
ping.
Pine stumps may be more profitably
removed by blasting with dynamite
than by stump-puller. A large pine
stump requires very great force to be
pulled out of the ground, but it is easily
torn to pieces and thrown out by two to
four ounces of dynamite. Indianapolis
Journal
"A good addition to soup is made BY
cutting bread in little squares and fry.
ing them in butter till they are Drowned
on every side. About three minutes be-
fore the soup is taken from the fire add
the bread, so that it will be favored with
the soup, but will not be soaked so it
will crumble.-N. Y. Post.
The Guinea-fowl is very destructive
to insects, and will feed on some that
the hens will not touch. They are great
foragers. active. and 60 over a whole
field in a short time. There is another
point in their favor not generally known,
which is that they are not scratchers
and do but little harm to plants.-M Y
Examiner.
Steamed Brown Bread: Two cups
OF sour milk, one cup of warm water,
one cup of molasses, one large teaspoon
full of soda, three cups of Indian meal
and one cup of flour. Steam three
hours, and bake one-half hour. It may
seem thin, but it will be just right when
it is done. Please try it sisters, and tell
ME if it ism 't.-Ihe Household.
About tact and management of
servants Quiz says: "We knew q cook
once, jewel of cook, who made ex-
cellent soup out of a lark's skeleton or
some light and inexpensive material.
who persisted in remaining in q place
she disliked because she had q feather
bed to sleep on. The taste was peculiar,
but it was her taste, and her employer
had the fine tact to meet it, and enjoy,
the services of an artist at the pay of q
mechanic"
-Cocoanut and Rice Pudding: Boil
ono toacuPIu VI Iice III mllk unCu SOIE
and dry. While it is still hot stir into
it quarter of pound of butter. Then
add the well-beaten yelks of six eggs, .
pound of sugar, grated cocoanut, and
rose water or lemon peel to taste. Stir
in the stiffiy y-beaten whites of four eggs,
and bake. When cool spread over the
top the whites of two eggs, beaten to .
stiff froth with some sugar and the juice
of q lemon. Color it a little in the oven,
or with a salamander.--G -Gernantovn
TELEGRAPH.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
:>..n sill lNnked very nale.

Tie Girl has beat the hull of usr'
cried rough pioneer. "lts the very
beast we were artcr. see, there's the
marks of the honnds' teeth. Well, it's
saved us 4 Journey tomorrow; that's a
comfort. But YOU beat the dickens.
Dolly, You do"
They AL crowded around, offering
congratulations. and for weeks after
ward her exploit was the talk of the
nci%hborhood.
The panther proved on measurement
to be one of the largest of its kind. lack
ing only an inch of being seven feet in
length, including its tail. The State
bounty was forty dollars. This sum,
with what she realized from It's skin,
made Dolly quite Il rich young lady for
those times. .-HUpcr'S IouNg Pt0pi,.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

Kansas boasts four women among
her County School Superintendents.
The grounds, buildings and appa-
ratus OF the universities and colleges of
the United States are valued ut $50, 623,-
2L-thicdgo Heroid
The membership of the Protestant
Christian Churches in Syria has doubled
within the last five years
In India there are no less than thir-
ty-four different Protestant Missionary
Societies. OF these twenty-three are
European and eleven American
Mrs. Josephine Louise Newcomb,
|~of New York, has contributed $2O.OOO
to the library building fund of Wash
inGton and Lee University. Lexington,
Va. Her late husband, Warren New
comb, Il few years ago gave $4,000 for
the same object.-N. Y. Herald.
Concerning the ringing of church
bells, the Christian at Hork says: IF
some people don't like the ringing. cot
ton is still abundant. and supply
can easily be had for filling the
cavity of the auricular tragus and
lobu!e. so as to exclude the vicious
vibrations of the terrible ecclesiological
tocsin."
--Rev. DIR. Burns. the Canadian
"heretic' who sinned by writing let
ter of sympathy to DIR. Thomas, of
Chicago, and expressing agreement in
his views. has been unanimously ac-
quilted by the Wesleyan Methodist
Church of Canada. which does not see
wherein he is guilty of hercsy.-Spring-
feld (.IaSS.) Rcpublican.
In Baltimore. Md, handsome
new Methodist Epicopal Church has
beon dedicated in memory of Robert
Strawbridge, the first preacher of that
denomination in America. The desk is
made of wood taken from the first
church built by Mr.. Strawbridge in
Carol County, Ml., in 1894, and the
other pulpit furniture from the oak tree
under which he preached before there
was any meeting house. ."-St. Louis
Globe
The doctrine of sinless perfection
was discussed in the General Assembly
of the Cumberland Presbyterian
Church, lately held at Huntsville. Ala.
Some congregations of this denomina-
ton have gone as far as the Free
Methodists in professions of perfect
living. A revision committee advised
that liberty of conscience be allowed
on that subject. but by large vote the
following was adopted: 1.-The doc
trne of sinlesS perfection is not author
lied by the Scriptures, and is dogma
of dangerous tendency."-M Y. San.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
Surprised Duelists.

Several weeks ago Mr.. Joseph Buckle
and Mr.. Thomas Latch came to Little
Rock from 4 Northern City for the pur-
pose of engaging together in business.
Shortly after arriving and looking
around, Buckle remarked:
Latch. / have hit upon a happy idea.
You see, these people are great ON the
chivalry business. No man stands so
high here as a fighter When the peo-
pie find that 4 man will fight, they en-
terrain a high regard for him. Suppose
now, that we become involved in q news
paper controversy. and finally fight a
duel. Say that you challenge me. We
will have couple of seconds, of course
having it understood that there are to
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10

The annual sun dance of the Ponca
Indians is described as having a con-
siderably civilized aspect this year.
There were blankets instead of buffalo
robes, paints from drug store instead
of dyes from herbs, ropes instead of
rawhide strips, and glass beads in place
of wampum. The savage character Of
the ceremonies continued, however, un.
changed, the principal rite consisting Of
lacerating the flesh in various ways.