The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1882-12-30
Miscellaneous items.

AuSIIh WIZ CIdlIHS 10 nave STUDIED n0SSlty
outen a book" Yesterday he went to the
Justice Court and said: ''Jedge, kin | git
a 'dictment writ agin dat wuffiess niger,
Pete ?"
What's he been doing?"
Hes a procrastinator. He's been bin a
procrastinatin'."
"PrOcrastinatlng2 There's no law
against that"
No law agin procrastination ? Den
what's de law fur ? Amt procrastInation
de thief OBJ time ?'
Certainly, believe it has been so
stated"
Well den, lint Pete a thief ?"
Yes, you might so construe it but you
cannot convict a man for stealing time"
mo, but when we hab got de proof on
him fur steaIin' time, we hab got de cir
cumstantial Evidence agin him for stealth
money, fur don't '1ossify say dat tune am
money? Got yer dar, ledge"
And the old IN n went out chuckling to
himself: Got him dar. Got de ledge dis
time suah as yer a foot high.''--Ileas
SJtings.
DEATH OF A TRAFALGAR VETERAN-By
the death of Charles Mckenzie. which took
place at Path of Condie, Perth, a few DAYS
ago. there has passed away one of the very
few now remaining who took part in Mel
sons great victory at Trafalgar. Mckenzie.
according to his own sta tement. was born 1T
Dunbar on the 18th August, l7S5. so that
he had all but completed his 9th year. He
early took to the sea, and, after being for
several years in the merchant service he
W s at last pressed into the Royal Navy
He WAS present at the glorious action Of
Cape Trafalgar. He fought on board the
Defence, Captain Hope. a gentleman f'r
whom the venerable tar cherished a lifelong
regard, and a commander who was greatly
beloved by all his men. Shortly after this
Mckenzie left the service, and after wander
ing about he at last settled down at Path of
Condie, where he has resided for nearly Is
years. He earned "A livelihood by working
for the farmers round about. He was a cap.
ital fiddler, and his services were often re-
quired at marriages, balls. and harvest
homes. He so distinguished himself in this
capacity that he became known among the
Ochils by the sobriquet of Fiddler
Charlie
WoMAN's WoRK.--No century like the
last has shown woman her better nature.
Since the day when Elizabeth Fry, rich,
beautiful, and gifted, preached in all the jails
of Great Britain and France, establishing
schools and manufactures within the prisons,
moving all northern and central Europe to
humane feeling, there has not been wanting
a Lady Huntingdon TO build and support
churches and colleges, a Florence Night
ingale in hospitals. a Clara Barton on battle
fields, a Helen Chalmers in midnight mis-.
sions, revered by the most degraded, a
Catherine Pennyfeather among the out
casts, an Anne Macpherson finding homes
f.. xx,orco fhon nrnhanod chiIArap n p. rooace
Burdett- Coutts to spend fifteen million dol
lars in model tenement houses and missions,
and a Sarah Smiley to tell with womanIy
tenderness the story of the Cross. Woman S
benevolent work has been marvellous in the
last century. Out of S22 associ tons, con-
Quoted by women, reported to the Women's
Centenni i Board all but five are the pro-
duct of the last hundred years, and most of
the last twenty-five years. One of these,
the Red Cross of Germany under Augusta 4,
for the care of the sick and wounded in war
or famine. hospital or orphan asylum work,
has its 3S1 branches, and u membership of
upwards of $1,000. The Red Cross of
Russi has l76 branches. The London
Society has IA.
A blue jacket in Alexandria, IN carrying
out one of the multifarlous dut, es which fell
to Jacks lot during the Egyptian expedition,
was assisting to remove some trusses of hay
from the quay, and stumbling along under
the weight of a small h ystack, not being
able to see where he was going. pushed
against a com risSariat officer irrepro 'chably
cid in review dress. Who the devil are
you, and what are you doing here 2 says
the gentleman. "Who am | p s VS. Jack.
Wet, don't altogether know. | used to
be IA British sailor but new, it strikes me,
Pm turned into a ID commissarIat mule"
A contributor to the Hongkong Daily
Pres writes as follows = My lady friends
ing account taken from the Nec YORK:
Times of the latest thing in American
inventions. designed by an ingenious indi-
vidual rejoicing in the name ofM'GoneraI for
hose who love dancing for its own sake
The /" irreproachable waltzer " is q stout
frame of light wood, of about five feet in
height, and remotely resembling an old
fashioned kite frame. At the top of the
frame is "a padded crest" for the Iady's
hand, and at about the middle of the frame
is a jointed arm, capable of being placed
round a young lady's waist and securely
fastened in that position with a thumbs screw.
The frame has two feet furnished with cas-
tors, each one of which has a universal Joint,
so that it can turn freely in any direction.
The whole affair weighs only five pounds
and it is made to fold together, SO that a
lady can carry it in her hand, either with or
without a shawl strap
1t is stated that the ban against w~altzing has
been removed by some of the ~stricte>t
American Presbyterian ministers, who. I'M
til M'Goneral came to the rescue, have
never ceased to denounee the improperly of
the dance. 1t is confidently anticipated by
the inventor that a machine which never
treads on a lady's dress scrupulously re-
spects & gathers, and can never lose step,
will be preferred far before the old-fashioned
animate partner who was often guilty of
these enormities. The portable waltzer is
especially recommended to the attention of
the stouter members of the fair sex, who
may find difficulty in inducing any gentle
man to nndarnn the nrdnnnS Lahnr of dEnm-