Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-06-08
Building q Hen.Coop.

"My DEAR" said Mr.. spoopendyke,
as he appeared before his wife with a
broad grin on his face, 'ssay, my dear,
I've bought some chickens so we can
have fresh laid eggs. Look!" and he
held out a couple Of pair of fowls tied
by the legs for Mrs. Spoopendyke's
contemplation.
"Well, upon my word!" exclaimed
Mrs. Speopendyke. s.Of all things!
chickens! Ever since we've been mar
ried I've wanted chickensl and she ap-
preached the birds cautiously and with
look of misgiving that belied her
words. Where can we keep them?''
"In coop, Mrs. Spoopendyke, in a
COOP" retorted her husband, laying the
chickens on the bed while he took off
his coat and vest. sWe might keep
'em up the chimney or in the clock, but
we probably won't. Well just keep
'em in . hen-coop, and I've got the laths
and nails down stairs to build it with
Come down in the yard" and Mr..
Spoopendyke grabbed his new acquisi.
ton by the legs and started of, followed
by his wife.
"Do you know how to build a coops"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she watched
her husband dig post hole in the cor.
ner she had reserved for geraniun
bed.
elf I don't, you probably do"
snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke, kicking
away at the spade until he loosened his
leg. "Now, 1 put this post here and
that one there. Then the two fences
make the rest, and L only lath up these
two-dod CAST the post!" he concluded,
q tnnnlaA
you hold it up? What're you sitting
around there like cork in jug forP
Hold it, will ye?''
firmly with both hands and held it at an
angle of thirty degrees.
"Now hold it perfectly still while [
dig the other hole,'' and Mr. Spoopen-
dyke hacked away at the ground again
and set his second post.
81 see what you mean," giggled
Mrs. Spoopendyke. You slat it up
from one post to the other, and then
put the chickens in. My! how nice
that'll be-"
Mr.. Spoopendyke glared at her
moment and then began putting up his
laths, standing between the posts and
the fence-corner and whistling as he
worked.
"Now," said he, as he finished,
"what do you think of that?''
Mrs. Spoopendyke examined the job
critically.
"It's a perfect palace!" she ex-
claimed. "But say, dear, how are you
going to get out?"
Yah-h-h!" roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
bounding into the air. "Why didn't We
tell me? What'd We want to let me
build myself in like dod gasted mum
my for? Amt We got any sense at all
anywheres? Why didn't We watch what
l was doing?" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
grinned horribly through the Stats.
81 supposed you were going to build
a hole in it, faltered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke.
$50 ami" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
jamming his leg through the structure.
"Want any more holes?" and he kicked
the side half way across the yard.
"Four chickens, four holes!" he roared,
and the laths flew in all directions.
ssWant any more holes?" and he
smashed the roof out with the spade.
"Holes constantly on hand! If you don't
see the hole you want, ask for it," and
he blew out the end with terrific energy.
"New goods coming in all the time!
Second hand holes a speciality" and
he banged out the other end. s'Parties
wanting holes to send in the country
will consult their interests by applying
here before going elsewhere!" and he
ripped down the rest of the coop with
prodigious clatter. 'Want any more
holes in this particular coop" he roared,
wrenching out the posts and slamming
them across the yard. "Does this hem
coop begin to convey the impression of
having a hole in it," he demanded,
stalking up to his wife.
Yes, DEAR" replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, soothingly. sim SO glad you got
out, but where can we keep the chick
ems now?'
Keep 'em," ripped MIR. Spoopen-
dyke, with a horrible grimacey and
grasping the wretched fowls by the legs,
"who's going to keep 'em?" and he cut
the lashings. "S'pose I'm going to run
my business just to crafty a measly
whim of dod gasted woman?' and he
jerked the chickens into the air.
"Never mind" said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, as the last bird slid over the fence
and disappeared. .'chickens are nuis-
ance, anyway. We really didn't need
any"
Why didn't you say so before L
bought 'em?'' blurted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
as he dashed into the house.
81 didn't know it, sighed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, looking around upon the
wreck, sand, besides, L don't believe
we would have had many eggs, because
those chickens were all roosters."
And Mrs. Spoopendyke followed her
husband, who stormed around the rest
of the evening because he couldn't find
the Eagle of January II, 1879, which he
had cautioned her to save because there
was something in it he wanted to read,
and which she had used the next day, in
conjunction with the back breadth of
her new flannel petticoat, to clean his
shotgun with.-Brookiyn Eagle.
A Man Sold for a Dollar.