davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
Iowa County Democrat.
MINERAL POINT, WIS.
FUNNY SIGHTS.

Isaw a cow-hide in the grass,
A rush-light on the floor;
/ saw a candle-stick in the mud.
And a bell-punch at the door.
saw a horse-fy up creek,
A cat-nip at her food
| saw 4 chestnut-burr and heard,
a shell-bark in the wood.
I saw a jack-plane of board,
A ear sprng of the track.
| saw-dust of the fioor,
And then carpet-tack-
saw a lnonkey-wrench hat
From a fair lady's pate.
/ saw a rattle snake a bird,
And hogs head on the plate
/ aaw a brandy-smash glass.
/ saw q shooting star;
| heard the corn stalk 10 the field,
And pig-iron crow-bar.
/ saw a pin wheel of a post.
And sheel-wright in a shsp,
/ saw gin-sling upon q bar
| saw ginger pop.
/ saw house-fiy over field,
/ saw an ox-r0ast too
/ saw shad-roe and a clam bake,
And saw the chicken-steW.
/ saw a sword fish from bank,
/ heard the water-spout
/ raw tobaeco-spit, and then
/ heard an eye-bawl out.
] saw a fenee-rail at tho inn,
/ heard a waist-band play
A Ieyely strain a sweet spit-toon-
And then ! went away.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

A jawbone has been dug up in Min
nesOta which creates considerable ex-
element among the native paleontolo-
gists. 1t Is about two feet long and has
q curious attachment somewhat resem-
blinga drnm head, which it Is supposed
was used for the purpose of producing
sounds. Ii Is calculated that the animal
could have been heard at the distance
Of several miles. Opinions differ as 10
the class of fossils to which the relic be-
longs, but the most scientific belief Is
that il Is part Of the osseous remains
Of some Chicago p7ima donna.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

KnEIMAI,ISM

There has been no medicine for Rheumatism
ever introduced that equals nurangs Rheumatic
Remedy. 1t is us sure 10 cure as the seasons are
70 fellow one another. Many Of our prominent
men here in public life have used il with great
success We unhesitatinely recommend it
Washington Cdy Republican.
Sold at all drug stores. Price one dollar. Sin
bottles for FIVE dollars Write Tor free circular I,
the proprietor Il. X. lIelpenstine druggist
Washington ID. G.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
RED-RIDpEx avn c,upn

W +. HrEsTIs, of Emporia, Kansas, says that
his wife has been sick nearly seven wears. and for
the last four months bed ridden, She has been
treated by numblr Of physicians and only grew
worse. Her attention was called TO DIR. Pisrce's
" Golden Medical Discovery and 'Favoritc
Prescription which she commenced using In
one week she could sit up, and in three weeks
could walk about. by druggists.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
Kcscued from nenth.

William j. Coughlin, of SOmerville, Mass, says
In the tall of 1876 | was taken with a violent
bleeding of the lungs, followed by a severe cough
| was admitted to the City Hospital. The doctors
said l had a hole in my left lung. ] gave up
hope, but friend told me of DIR. VIM. Halls Bal
sam for the Lungs. got bottle. to my sur
prise commenced to feel better, and tod day
feel in better spirits than ! have the past three
years l hope that every one afflicted with dis
eased lungs viii take Dr. VIM. falls Balsam. and he
onv imced that COnsumption can be cured.''
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
The Little Rock name

The little Rock papers mitigate the
crime of man who committed suicide
there fast week, by saying i. was his
FIRST ofiense. Very likely he had not
been long in the state, or he would have
made the attempt sooner.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

In her advertisement the lady princi.
pal of a schoo! mentioned her lady as.
sistant and the reputation for teach
ing which she bears :" but the printer
left out (which, so the advertisement
went forth commencing the lady's rep
utation for teaching she bears
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Monopoly defined Glass in deiini.
tionS-"What is a monopoly? THAT
rival establishment over the way
"N hen is monopoly not a monopoly p
"When t is in your own hands"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Avoiding the vulgar Miss Araminta
Gushington speaks Of the solemn sea-
son of loaned" She never could bring
herself to say Lent. 1t is so painfully
vulgar, you know.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
To Whom 1t may Concern:

In the Rochester n. Y, Democrat and
Chronicle of December 81, 1851. there ap-
peared statement in the form Of a card
from DR.. ]. B. Henion, of this city, re-
counting his remarkable recovery from
Bright's disease of the kidneys, after sey-
eral doctors of prominence had given him
up. by the use of preparation manufac-
tured in this city and known as Warmers
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.
We are personally or by reputation ac-
quainted with DIR. Henion, and we believe
he would publish no statement not literal
~ true: We are also personally or by
reputation well acquainted with ii. ii.
Warner Co., proprietors of this remedy,
whose commercial and personal standing
IN this community is of The highest order.
and we believe that they would not pub
lish any statements which were not liter
ally and strictly true in every particular.
Z. K. PARSONS. Mayor, Rochester,
WM. PURCELL, editor onion and Id
W. 3. STUART, Surrogate Monroe
EDWARD A. FROST. (cl, k Monroe
L. 3. FESNER, District Attorney, Mon
DANIEL T. Hunt, POSTMASTER, Roches-
j.. NJ. DAvY, (Ex-Member Congress,
Rochester)
john s; MORGAN, Special Co. Judge,
Monroe Co..
HIRAM sIBLKY, Capitalist and Seeds
w. C. Row1EY, County Judge, Monroe
County.)
JOIN VAN VooRH1s (Member of Con-
gress
CHARLES E. FITCH, editor Democrat
and Chronicle and Regent of the Uniyer-
sity.)
To The Editor Of the Lining Church, Chicago,
H.:
Will you allow the following card, per
sonal to myself, to appear in your widely
circulated paper?
There was published in the Rochester
Democrat and Chronicle of the 3lst of De-
cember last, a statement made by j. b.
Henlon, M. d., narrating how he had
been cured of Bright's disease of the kid
neys, almost in its last stages, by the use
of Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.
l was referred to in that statement, as
having recommended and urged DIR.
Henion to try the remedy, which he did,
and was cured.
Now the republishing of this statement
in many of the leading Journals of the day
has been the cause of an incessant flow OF
letters to me making many inquiries, but
chiefly whether the statement is true, or a
mere advertising dodge, etc., etc.
l beg, therefore, to anticipate any fur
Their inquiries and save time and labor,
and some postage, by saying that the state
me mt of DIR. Henion is true, SO far as it
concerns myself. and belive it to be true
in all other respects. He is i parishioner
of mine and l visited him in his sick ness.
| urged him to take the medicine and
would do the same again to any one who
was troubled with disc ase of the kidneys
and liver. IssAEL FooTE, ID. d.
Rector of st. Paul's Church.
Rochester, N. Y, Jan. %, 1882.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

The alterations at James Morgan's,
East Water Street, Milwaukee, are pro
ceeding favorably. He has just opened
an immense stock Of table linens, en-
broideries. black cashmeres, etc.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

The market is flooded with worthless and vile
compounds for the rejuyination Of the hair, but
Barboline, the great petroleum hair renewer and
dressing, as now improved and perfected, still
t"kes the front rank as the best DECLARATION ever
offered to the public.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Lets Illustrate it," hiccoughed pol
itical orator. cts beautiful. You see
an old farmer comes to town, loaded
with new wheat, an he goes home load
ed with old rye"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
w arrauted.

EpINBuRG, His, Dee. H. 1851.
We recommend Pisos Cure 10 all our customers
and, in fact, urgaH every bottle: and are glad 70
say it gives entire satisfaction. We think it the
best cough remedy in the market
tRoWSpACK BEos.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
- . -

A gentleman, whose vocabulary was
mixed, wished to praise certain lady
reader of this city. Yes" said he,
'besides being very fine elocutionist,
she has u great deal of ejaculation"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
Pastor NJ. Z. Church. Elsah. I'M

1t is considered vulgar in New York
to count your change for purchases, and
you can take your choice between being
thought vulgar by counter jumper, or
being swindled by him.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Mourning at the White House
Anything taking place to-day q asked
Er. Frelinghuysen, as he walked 10
and elevated his boots to the top OF
the cabinet table. ''Nothing." replied
Mr.. Arthur, without looking up from
the tantalizing pages of the patent
Office report. There were lots of feI-
lows here who wanted to take one,
however" Thus doth the oasis of in
nocent mirth light up the barren waste
of official life.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Young, midile-aged. or old mon, suffering
from nervous debility or kindred affections,
should address, with stamps for large treatise
MoREp's plsPENsARv MEpteAL ASSOCIATIONS
Buffalo Y
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

+. Y. FIERCE. NJ y, Buffalo, \. T.: Dom
my wife has been taking your "Goldeu
Medical Discovery and Pellets for her Iivsl
and general debility, and has found them to be
good medicines, and would recommend them to al
sufferers from Liver Complaint, Sour Stomach
and General Debility. Yours fraternally.
n. T.. HARMON
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

LoSE JACK, Mo. Sept. II. 1879.
have been using Hop BittcrS, and have re-
ceired great benefit from them for liver com.
plant and malarial fever. They are superior e
all other medicines Pm BNpxys
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

The scripture lesson-Y Young Lady
"And who comes after Esther" Pause. J
"Is it Job ?" Pupil "No, miss Billy
Piper's big brother | see him Sun
day.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Mr.. Z. b. Roland, Of Coyington, KY. writes
| had given up ever finding relief from the Ill
that afflicted me / suffered greatly, both men
tally and physically. Pimples and boiis we're al
over me- The smallest cut or wound would cAus
a sore- Ny digestion troubled me, and my bael
and kidneys panied me severely. friend rec
commended DR.. Guysott's Yello~ Dock and 5ar
saparills. Thanks to its use, / am again In sound
condition, and | never can grow weary Of prais-
ing L 70 nv aenuaiutaneez7
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

Suggestive wit: Diner TO waiterl:
This chop is very dry" Waiter Ito
dinerl: Perhaps, then. you had better
order something to drink with it,
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
J. B. HKNIoN, NJ. D.
ROCHESTER,. n Y Ian 81 1850

SIRs: Acknowledging your favor duly
received, we would say: The best proof
We can give you that the statements made
by DR.. Hen on are entirely true, and
would not have been published unless
strictly so, is the following testimonial
from The best citizens of Rochester, and a
card Publ SHE'D by Rev. DIR. Foote, which
you are liberty to use if you wish.
II. III. WARNER & Co.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

and yet the people do not realize It or seek
to check it until too late. He related how
q New Orleans medical professor, lectur-
ing on this disease, thinking to show his
class what healthy fluids were, subjected
some of his own to chemical test, and
although he had no suspicion of it before,
discovered that he, too, had the dreaded
disease, which proved fatal in less than a
year. There was also an interview with
the celebrated chemist of the New York
State Bosrd of Health, DR.. S. A. baltimore,
who said he had analyzed the remedy
which cured DR.. Henion, and found thst
81 was entirely free from poisonous or
deleterious substances"
We have made these condensations in
order that all the material facts may be
set before our readers. Since the publica-
ton OF these two articles. having been BE-
sleged with letters of inquiry. We sent
communication TO DR.. Henion and also
one to II. II. Warner & Co., asking if any
additional proof could be given US as TO
the validity of the statements published.
In answer thereto we have received the
following letters, which add interest to the
entire subject, and wholly verify every
statement hitherto made:
Rochester, n. Y, Feb. ., 1882.
GENTLKMEN.-Your favor is received,
The published statement over my sigma
ture, to which you refer, is true in every
respect, and l owe my life and present
he's tn wholly to the power of Warmers
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. 1t is not
surprising that people should question
the statement / made. for my recovery
was as great a marvel to myself, as to my
physicians and friends.
J. B. HKN1oN, ND.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

~ - - a MONTH and expenses paid rny net
Nv IL i've person distribute circulars fOrus
and sell our goods. { 5 a month and ex-
N II peBses 20 distribute circulars only No
h"N capital required. Salary paid monthly.
~ - expenses in advance. We have the beet
selling goods IN the world. No novelties clap traps
sam pie package Of goods. full particulars. and ~
tract free. send 15c for postage and packing GEO.
:. ETICKLF,S 4 co. tf2 Main street, Madison, Wis.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10
NOV ELIO!

OIrSON n co. are the sole agents for the
United States for the magnificent NOvcllo List
Of OratOIiaS. Operas, tilccs. Fart Songs, Sc The
separate anthems, Choruscs, or Giles cost 6t
To lc each, and very largely used for % en-
siona singing. The following are excellent and
practical instructive works, and are called
primers, hut are really great deal mon:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-10

I saw a cow-hide in the grass,
A rush-light on the floor;
/ saw a candle-stick in the mud.
And 4 bell-punch at the door.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
Holiday Cards.

Mr.. J. w. Heiskell, % Twelfth
street, Wheeling, having already in
store an immense stock in endless
variety, will during the season
make a specially of Christmas
and New Year Cards, These beau
tiful tokens to gladden. the holidays,
ranging in price from a few cents
up, he will send in lots to FREEMAN
readers at very low rates.
Send him 81 or more, up to SO
if you like, with suggestions as to
whether you wish the cheaper or
finer cards, and Mr.. Heiskell will Sc
lect and send you lots that you will
be delighted with.
See Artistic Beauties and Holt
day Duties" in another column,
and when you order, it will be to
your advantage to notice where
you saw this notice.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
The Excursion Didn't Excurt.

The excursion that was being
arranged, in which forty or fifty Of
our people would have joined, to at
tend Miss Frances Wizards lecture
in Marietta, Monday evening,
failed on account of the inclement
weather. In spite of the weather,
however, Mrs. Caswell, Mrs. Soho
field, our Mrs. Editor, and others,
went up by the regular conveyan-
ces and enjoyed the rare treat Of
hearing this grandest of women
speak for humanity.
Miss Willard sent by our repre-
sentatives the cheering assurance
that she would visit West Virginia
in the near future.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08

Waxwork, etc. There is really a
combination of seven distinct
schools under one management.
very great advantage to its pupils.
The Conservatory of Music has
won an enviable reputation, and
had enrolled during the past year
three hundred and forty-seven pu-
pills. We commend it to all who
desire thorough instruction and
wish to learn music both as sci
ence and an art. The School of
Elocution has also been reorgan-
lied and put on broad basis. Full
particulars with regard to any or
all of the Departments can be had
by writing to Rev. |. G. Pershing,
D. d., Pittsburgh. Pa.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
Parkersburg Lyceum Association.
LECTURE COURSE.

LIEUT. NE NOu hcE'
The first Lecture of the Season,
by Hon. DANIEL DOUGHERTY,
of Philadelphia,
Subject: "ORAToRY."
At the Academy of Music, Par.
kersburg, w. Va, Friday Eoening,
Nou. 10, 1882, at 8 o'clock, P. M.
Reserved seats for sale at Will
liams drug store, Market street,
Wednesday, Nov. s, 1882, at 8
O'clock.
Holders of season tickets must
present them at the same place to
secure reserved seats.
Subscribers to the lecture course
can get their tickets from Fl. Eel
senheld, at Epstein & Felsenheld's,
Juliana Street
Admission, Is and so cents.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
Pittsburg Female College and
Conservatory of Music.
100 Full Music Lessons for $13.

100 Full Music Lessons for $13.
Many of our readers who de-
sire to attend school during the
winter months, will be pleased to
learn that the second term of the
Pittsburg Female College and Con-
servatory Of Music will open on
Monday morning, November 10.
The institution is SO well and wide
ly known as not to need words of
commentator from US. In faculty
and patronage it has but two or
three rivals in the United States.
In addition to the fine facilities af-
forded in the department of liberal
arts, it offers rare advantages in
Vocal and Instrumental music,
Elocution, Drawing and Painting,
Modern Languages, needlework,
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08

ASSOCIATION DELEGATES. = A
goodly number Of Baptist minis
tiers and delegates to the General
Association. that meets at Hinton,
Summers county, on Thursday, the
9TH, came in on the B. & o., on
Monday evening, and after lodging
with friends in the city, went sail
ing on through Ohio, Tuesday morn
ing, to enter the State again at
Huntington. From here they
We're joined by Parkersburg dele
gates.
In seeing them off, yesterday
morning, we noted the bride and
groom, Rev. Geo. Woofter and wife,
Revs. H. Langford, P. H. Murray,
N, A. Summers, L. w. Holden, w.
y, Powell, J. w. Carter, Prof. D. B.
Purlnton of the University, Dave
D. Johnson, Mrs Carter, and Miss
Bertha Johnson.
Others will follow to-day, of
whom ourself expects to be one of
which, if we can get the elections
settled up in time.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
Conference Minutes - M.
Church.

Rev. G. G. Wilding, the unap-
proachable Secretary of the West
Virginia Conference, M. f. Church,
has just handed us copy of the
Conference Minutes. But before
going further we must explain. We
don't mean that Brother Wilding
is uaapproachable, for anybody with
warm heart and ready hands for
any good work can get right up to
him, all around him, and hug him
if he likes, but we mean that as
a Conference Secretary he is unap-
proachable in the qualities of meth
cd, compilation, dispatch and enter
prise required to transmit the pro-
ceedings of great religious body
to the best book form for preserva-
ton and future use, all which the
splendid copy before us most fully
attests. In less than four weeks
from adjournment, we have the
Conference proceedings with sta
tistics complete, in an elegant pam
phlet of 80 pages. The typograph-
ical work is exceptionally fine,
throughout, the script headings be-
ing in perfect taste. The publish
ers, Beacon Publishing Company,
Akron, Ohio, must surely have SUI
perior facilities for doing this kind
of work, and we think Brother
Wilding may count on preparing
the annual copy so long as they
don't turn him out of the Mctho-
dist Church, or make him Bishop.
When our friends have read all
the minutes, please take a look at
the FREEMAN's page,
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08

The SAME.-The Hon. Daniel
Dougherty, who delivers the Ly-
ceum Course lecture on Oratory,
next Friday evening, is the same
Dan who nominated Gen. Hancock
for President, at the Cincinnati
Convention. He will not talk pol
itics Friday evening, but will give
you one of the finest lectures you
ever heard, having but few equals
IN eloquence on the platform.
Tickets so and IS cents, at Will
llam's drug store.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
Wood Co. C0nveyances.

Nov. I, Chancellor & Birely to
Lidia A. Bowen, for a house and
lot on Depot street, $1,000.
Nov. /, J. G. McCluer & wife to
Robt. Pugh, for one undivided third
interest in SO acres of land in Will
liams dist, S125.
Nov. 3, Alfred Anderson and
wife to W. B. Lagrange and Thos.
J. Alexander, for GA acres and 80
poles ofland in Walker Dr., s112.49
Nov. 4, Bartholomew Lot and
wife to Henry Lott, for 4 acres of
land in Steele dist, $40.
Nov. 5, Charles Stoetzer and wife
to A. H. Inman, for lot in Tefft's
Addition to Parkersburg, $500.
Nov. 6, James White to Mary
White, for so acres of land in Har-
ris Dt., love and affection.
Nov. 6, D. H. Leonard and wife to
Abraham & Perry Lemley, for 2
tracts of land in = Dr., 5000.
Nov. 6, S. C. Sharp, Hannah M.
Hammett, and G. R. Hammett, to
Albert G. Lancaster and Gertrude
C. Lancaster, for u acres of land in
Williams DIT, 5000.
Nov. 6, E. S. Butcher and wife to
w. w. Lyons, for 80 acres and "a
poles of land in Slate DIT, $500.
Nov. 6, John w. Stout, Com'r OF
School Lands, to George W. Neale,
for - acres of land in Walker d.,
SO.
Nov. 6, S. S. Stone and J. A.
Cook, Ex'ors, &c, to Jos. S. Cook,
for g acres in Petersburg Dr.,
$500,
Nov. 6, B. T. Beeson and wife to
J. N. Camden, for ITO acres in Par
kersburg DIT, $4,000.
Dan Dougherty, at the Academy
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08
Marriage Licenses.

Nov. 1, Abraham S. Beckwith
to Belle E. Stephenson.
Nov. l, NewmanJenkins to Lucy
E. Taylor.
Nov. 1, John ]. King to Eliza E.
McAtee.
Nov. 6, Chas. Brookover to Arme-
ia Brookover.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08

1 wish to say to the readers of the
FREEMAN, shat l have moved my
Music store opposite the Catholic
Church, on Market street, in the
Rathbone brick, where [ expect to
carry full line of Musical Mer-
chandise, from a Piano down to a
Mouth Organ. My motto-"One
price, all goods as represented, and
never to be undersold."
G.. l.. SPENCE.
West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1882-11-08

MARRIED.-At Fairmont, w. Va,
Thursday, Nov. I'd, 1882, Mr.. T. N.
Parks, of Middlebourne, Tyler Co.,
and Miss Fannie Pride; Of Fair
mont.
Mr.. Parks is the wide-awake Su-
perintendent Of the Tyler county
schools, and now takes special
and laudable Pride in his work.
On Friday last we enjoyed the
trip down from Wheeling to Sis
tersville in company with Mr..
Parks and the Pride of his heart.
May the joys Of a long, happy
lite be IN waiting for them.