Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-06-08
Mr.. and Mrs. spoopcndykc.

see that Frenchman has got a
patent for canned energy" observed
Mrs. Spoopondyke, as she picked ND
lot of cut steel beads on needle and
began sewing them on medallions for
dress trimming.
Got what" Intercepted Mr..
Spoopendyke, who was backing his
boots.
Yes. He says he can put strength
up in bundles and send it anywhere. so
they can run ships and things without
steam. He sent ever SO much over to
Scotland"
"What circus bill have you been read
ing now?' nueried Mr.. Spoopendyke
glaring at his wife.
"It'sso she replied. Il saw it in the
Eagle. He does it up like preserves
and it lasts ever so long, and its just as
fresh and strong when they open it as it
was at first"
"who put it up9 Who're you talk
ing about ?"
"a Frenchman. He gets lot Of
strength and fixes it with electricity, and
you can buy it anywhere. I'm going to
get some and take 1t. I'll be just as
good as going in the country, and maybe
It'll help my headaches. l suppose the
Government will buy lot of it for
tramps."
"You gone crazy again?" demanded
MIR. Spoopendyke. What dye mean
by putting strength in boxes? Think
energy is some kind OF dod gasted fish I?
Spose You can put main strength up in
bottles like measly shrimp? II you're
going to read, why don't you read
straight?"
"Why, did. He has some kind OF
machine, and he makes energy so it
will last, and then he soldiers it up in
tins, or something, so you can keep it
in the house. I'm going to have some
and do the washing"
"Does it strengthen up the mind OF a
dod gasted idiot p blurted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "Can it make measly Spoopen-
dyke woman talk sense ?"
"The paper don't say but ii it is nll
they claim for it, it will be a great help
in house-cleaning and moving the step
ladder around when you want to hang
pictures. And then it saves boiling
beef tea. Oh, you ought to read about
it. They say it's the greatest invention
of the age"
Dye mean to tell me that they're
selling muscle by the keg? Want me
to understand that some frog-eater is
keeping industry on draught? Think
I'm an ass ?"
"That's what the Edgie says" re-
joined Mrs Spoopendyke, with a
woman's implicit reliance on anything
in print "And they can make it in
any quantity cheap, SO we can have all
we want wish you'd get some right
of, and we1l try it on the Friday
sweeping"
"Quit |" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke
"Stop making an idiot asylum Of your
self S'pose you can make me b'lieve
that house cleaning comes in jugs ?
Think I'm going to believe that week
wash comes in box, like measly pills ?
P'raps you want me to think that your
dod gasted stuff will pay the rent and
run my business Next time you strike
a corn salve you read it understandingly,
We hear Energy by the pintl Strength
by the yard Got that rip sewed up in
my pants ?"
eyes, dear" murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, meekly, and Mr.. Spoopendyke,
having arrayed himself, plunged ont OF
the house and made for the ferryboat
Hello, Spoopendyke r. saluted his
friend Specklewottle, see this thing in
the paper about the Frenchman who is
boxing up energy ?"
Yes, certainly" replied Mr.. Sroop-
endyke, - and I've been all the morn
ing trying to explain it to my wife,
but these women can't understand
such things How's stocks ?"-Brook-
Ign Eagle.