The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-11-11

COW. ~ -H
| tScESE-me Imperial Patace at .tfoseou
Peronay's-7he Gar, The Minister Of Police.
The Minlster--sirc, l can take upon my
self to assure you that your lie will be saf
throughout the memorable DAY soon +
dawn upon us.
The cxar-Memorable day Memorable
day? It's memorable day I could yer,
well dispense with It. (Sivhs.)
Minister assure your majesty TINT II,
precantion lHls been neglected. In the frs
place there wi be nobody In the streets.
| Czlr-Nohody In the streets? But, blcs
mt, TINT will be rather dull ior corona
ton.
Minister-Nobody hut the police,
mean. | have detailed ten thousand men,
who, in assorted disguises OF peasants
moujiks and the like, will surround and
escor. your majcs.y's earring, filling the
air with joyous cries.
Czar-l'ut arc you certain that there are
no nihilisls among them?
Minister havc provided Tor TINT
Each man Is instructed the moment thu,
he notices suspicious movement on the
part OF his ncishbor TO blow out TIM,
neighbours brains.
| CzAr.-l'ut, ! shy, may be hit by one OF
the flying balls, You know.
Alinisler-Tlien, your majesty, | will
suppress the rcvolvers and serve out ding.
gers instead.
C%r-An improvements great i'm
nrovement. And how about the windows
along The route Of The procession?
Min'stcr-Thcy have been seen to and
will duly locked and the curtains viii
bc drawn.
| CAr-lut the fellows might pop me
through the gh,ss, you know. The,
woudntsiAnd ut smashing it--they hay,
10 respect for anything.
Minister-'rhen | will have all the win
dows boarded up.
CMr-IIat'll be expensive, wont It? IL
might be better to drive all the inhabitan,.
down into their cellars and keep then
there for Neutrality-suspicious.
| Minlstcr-An excellent idea, and one
that reflects great credit OIL your majesty :
Imperial ingenuity. But | will permit
myself 10 observe that il confined to the
cellars the population would have oppor,u.
mites for tunneling.
| CARLY Saint Sersius, never thought
OF that Still we might put detective in
each cellar to give the alarm.
Minister-l'nt II there should happen 10
be Il household ofnihilists, Il solitary watch.
man would be struggled before
Czr-lsight, right fear we must aban.
don the idea and fall buck to boarding III,
the windows. As to the church,
Minlster-lt has been risidly inspected
and the walls have been sounded.
CzAr-Thc pictures behind which nj
AlInister-l have had them taken down
and the organ pipes removed. The whole
building us bare as my hand. There is
not cover for cat, let alone IL conspirator
Czar-Stlll it is Il pity to omit the must
cal portion Of the ceremony.
Minister-We shall have IL band from,
one Of your maies.y's most faithful rrgi
| nents.
CARRIE sure there are no explosives in
| the brasses, and see that no Nihilist con.
ceals himself in the drum.
Minister will post one OF my tr,lsticsi
men sldent it, your majesty. As for the
list OF invited guests, shall 30 over that
IN pel6on aud give special attention 10 the
delivery ofthe invitations.
Czhr-lt seems to me that there is Il good
deal OF risk about that. A ticket Nigh, &c
asiray or one might be forged,
| MinlAer-ie.ts, there's no denying
that. Still, l don't see now-but let me
see, is it absolutely necessary that there
should he any spectator present?
Czar-Certainlv no.!
Mlnlser-ln that case think | would
impart an additional characlerol grandeur
TO the ceremony were it performed with.
out the presence Of 4 crowd to stare and
distract. Suppose that we make it mere
tete'a'tete between. your muitsiy and divine
Providence?
| tzlr-ihat IS by no means IL bad idea
and 1t has something majestic aud auto.
cratic about it. You may cancel the list
OF invitations. The vaults OF the cathedral
have, ! suppose
Ministcr-They have been visited, sire,
and the only mine we found there has been
carefully removed, SO that there is not the
slishtes. ground for apprehension on tina,
score.
Garland my carriage has been iron.
clad?
Minister-It has, sire; four inches OF iron
with athree.ioot backing Of solid teak. Ali
being seen to, l.
Czar-But, hold on, we have overlooked
the greatest danger OF all. The crown
Trey might have cartridge or spring
gun, or something in it, and blow my
anointcd head Off!
,Minlsser-iour majesty need not iear.
will carry the crown in hat box under
my own arm and give it to The patriarch
with my own hands.
CMr-'Tis well! All our arrangements
then are made. find them satisfactory
and will reward your prudent and loya
care. Good night shall see you in The
morning. Exit Minister Now, let mt
gee, who in thunder shall set to keep M
eye on him ill tomorrow morning ?
Translated freely from the French cfP. Iiaon