Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-04-26
The Tale of a Shirt.


conversation WIN lTlenu VINO nau
recently had two new shirts made
we learned incidently that the style
Of building shirts had radically
changed, and that they were being
made to button in front instead of al
the back Of the neck. The news
was so good that we could not be-
lieve it until we had it directly from
shirt maker, who showed us the
ground plan and front elevation
that had been prepared by archi-
tects forthe erection Of some zine
shirts for our best citizens; and, sure
enough, the old fashion Of folding
doors in front, instead of a storm
door between the shoulder blades in
the back, was the fashion.
We have never felt SO much like
passing a resolution Of thanks to the
shirt makers, and a resolution of
coincidence to parties who have got
to wear the old ones, in our life.
Those shirts that button in the back
have been the cause of more protan-
ity than any one thing. Shirts that
button in the back have been the
cause of crime. Religious societies
can not prosper as they should
when the male population has to
reach over its head, and away
around to the back of the neck to
button its shirt.
Talk about spending thousands of
dollars to find the north pole: if
half the money spent in that way
was offered as a reward for the de-
lection of the man who invented
shirts that buttoned in the back
and he could be tnrned loose among
men who have suffered for years by
his devilish contrivnnce, it would
be we'll expended. For fourteen
years the men of this country have
been slaves to this absurd fashion,
and more arms have been cramped,
shoulders dislocated and backs bent
than would be believed by those
who have not seen it.
The spectacle Of q mild-mailnered
man, after getting into his shirt,
making a contortionist of himself,
an acrobat, trying to get on the 9th
cr side Of himself to button his
shirt the back way, is sad indeed.
Statistics show that the buttons
on the back OF shirt always come
off the second week, and in place of
the thin ovster-shell button that
comes with the shirt, the house
wife always sews on a big drawers
button, four sizes larger than the
button hole. and if be gets the but
ton in the hole, the hole has to be
"busted" or a washer put on the
button next time.
Go through our prisons and you
will find that the criminals-the
bad men--wear shirts that button
in the back. They have been driv-
Ell to a life of crime by letting their
tempers get the best of them while
searching blindly for a button with
one hand and a button-hole with
the other, when their back was
turned. They 60 home mad, and
commit crime to get even.
The very idea of having shirts
that open in front will give a feel
ing Of rest to tired back k-aching hui
manity. TO stand up to n glass
and button shirt and see wha
YOU are about, will be bliss, indeed
The thought OF a generous slit j,
the bosom of a shirt, where one
hand may wander, is clysium
| There are times-we say it advised
| ly--there are times when the bes
of us want to put hand inside
shirt bosom, but with the old shin
that buttons in the back a ma
might as well be in IL burgler proc
safe, with the combination lost, q
to try to get in. With the old shil
it would be necessary to hire
| hand. A mans stomach has been
sealed book for fifteen years, wit
the old boiler-iron shirt bosom wit
no portfolios.
Occasionally mans heart ache
and if he could put a hand in OH
without going around the back wa
and sneaking in under the arm,
could tell by feeling whether it ";
unrequitted affection that allied hin
or rheumatism. With the ne
shirt an exploring expedition CT
be sent to the seat of the disease b
fore it is everlastingly too late. Nj
have been wounded and befol
they could be turned over and Il
entrance Of their shirt found the
have bled to death. The old bat
action shirt is a fraud, and the ne
one is daisy. 1t may be said |
some that the new open sesan
shirt will show the world the col
Of the under shirt.
1t might If one was going to u
. | hic shirt hnsnuo for n nillnw Int ff