, 1882-07-07
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1T up with my eloquence."
81 GUESS the goose has the advan.
tnge OF YOU said u lady to an iney.
pert boarder who was carving
Guess it has mum-in age" was
the withering retort.
YOUNG Bride Ito Visitor,-"Ob,
on our way to Parish [ suffered so
dreadfully on the steamer that dear
George promised me the next time Wa
went ho'd take me round the other
wayw--LOndon Punch
DIALOGUE between two boosters.
LANDED estates9 My dear fellow. |
have estates at Marseilles. estates so
vast that you can't see the end of
them" "Pshaw, That's nothinoi
| have estates at Toulouse, sir, that
you can't even 500 the beginning Off
You've lady-"Oh, Aunty, did you
see that man stare at you! How rude
the men are" Aunt--"Oh, they're
much better now, my dear! Why, ten
years ago they used to actually come
up and talk to me; now they only
lookw
NV laid-on.-Reportcr of London
paper there had been 4 catastrophe
on the line -" Well, Mr.. Station
Master, anything fresh?' Station
master worried and irritable)-"No,
nothing much. Only the paint you're
leaning against."--funny FoikS
OLD Slobson was raking in the
front yard yesterday when he noticed
boy gazing through the picket
fence in most earnest manner.
What are you doing?" asked the
old man. Watching tho Rake's
Progress" replied tho bog, as he
lodged just in time,-Rochester Er,
press.
A CUSTOMER gives the shopwomana
twenty franc piece which rings false.
The shopwoman--" But, Monsieur,
this is a counterfeit" The customer,
after examining it closely-"Oh,
that can't be! You see it is of the
time of Charles X. In all these
years it would have been found out
before. ."--From the FRENCH
EGGs AcrLY so. "Haye you any
fresh eggs?' Yes, mum, plenty;
them with the hen on 'em?" with
the hen on them" "Yes, mum, we
always put hen on our fresh eggs to
distinguish OF 'em. Beg pardon,
mum, don't think you understood.
Hen the letter, not 'en the bird. Hen
for noo-laid, mum. Take a dozen,
mumR Thank you?"--London Fun
Test OF TRUE LOVE" Is there any
thing / can do to satisfy you that the
affection | have confessed for you is
real-any further proof that l can
give Of my sincerity and devotionP
exclaimed the youth, passionately
The faco of the marble hearted
maiden lighted up with a Machiavel
lian smile us she answered; Yes,
there is, Gilbert; join the next Arctic
expedition. n.'--Brookiyn Eagle.
AN East Boston father discovered
that his daughter, Who had soul for
romance, proposed to elope, and he
didn't sit up with q bulldog and
shotgun to waylay the fugitives. Oh!
no, he went to his daughter and told
her he desired her to marry young
man, naming her lover, and he would
set him up in good-paying grocery
business; and the young lady at once
declared she'd die rather than marry
any man just to please her father
The German Fliegende Blaetter re-
ports the following conversation;
'Who is the gentleman escorting Miss
Amelia?" "That's her fance-cash,
ier in bank-very rich-splendld
match" wndeedl what may he be
worth" "Well, that can't be SAID
now-don't know with what amount
he'll manage to get away"
A SHORT SIGHTED German Professor
having invited several students, TO
sup with him, notices that one OF them
does not touch his knife and FORK
and asks him why he doesn't eat
Student" Because there is nothing
left on the plate" Professor" Then
one of the others must have taken
more thanone sausage."-Fhegeno
BLdetter.
The truth of the following story :
vouched for by q clergyman: A gooa
old lady, speaking in prayer meeting
and giving expression to the Joy anI
confidence she felt, said: Il feel as u
1 was ready this minute to fall lng
the arms Of Beelzebub." abraham
You mean Abraham" hastily COZ
rected brother sitting near. well
Abraham, then," was the resPonse
sit don't make any difference. Ihey"
both good meu"
"THEN you are paying attention. ~
ola Gr;nda,,a 1nuuhter are you, NY 4