Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-09-14
Somewhat Highly Spicel

ION me, salu Colonel er9er to Hos
letter McGlnuis, ms they happened to
meet. Cant think of it, Colonel
I"Why not?" "Wel', I've already had AS
much as is good for me, and besides |
swore of last week.
Home again; 81 met lovely wo.
man from Rome, G,., yesterday, and
she said: i've been at summer resorts
for a month, and all want now is 10
be IN my back porch at home in loose
wrapper and my face buried in a
Georgia waterm elon,
When time flies withal: A core.
spondent asks: What time of year
do the days begin to shorten?' When
you have II note in bank. \ note IN
bank is the great annihilator of time.
The days are crowded together in thin
layers, and the nights are like smear
from the backing brush.
Abused the privilege. Here is a new
at least not very old-story of Tom
Marshall: Said the Woodford orator
to a man whose wife he dishked, "Bill.
your wife is an ugly womanw "Wen,"
replied Bill, blushing up, chats her
privilege" Yes" replied Tom, 'but
she abuses the privilege"
Don't shake before using: Two
countrymen from Onion Creek came
to an Austin lawyer to consult about
bringing " joint suit against neighbor.
The first granger began to tell the law
yer the cause Of the trouble, mbellish-
ing it rather literally. Don't tell him
any hes, Bill" interrupted the other.
1T is his business to put in the lies.
You will get him confused if you 90 to
mixing your lies with his"
\ coat of many owners: "I've stolen
a coat said "a man to lawyer. "and
want you to defend me. Think YOU
can prove me innocent" ooh, yes;
we can prove that you were in an ad.
Joining township when the coat was
stolen and that the prosecution is
malicious. How much will YOU
charge?' What sort of a coat was it?"
First rate; never been worn any"
well, | won't charge you anything.
Just give me the coat"
Very busy: Mrs Colonel Percy Yer
ger has two colored ladies employed.
few days ago Mrs. Yerger called
down from her room in the second
story: Matilda, bring me glass of
water" 81 amt gwine ter do it till rse
fru what Use dom right now Bring
bit yerseIf.' What are you so busy
a2' "Restin' myself" "Then tell
Jemima to bring me glass of water"
She am busy, too" What is she
busy at2" "Helpin' me rest myself"
Missed his train: In no city in Texas
40 the clocks and watches vary M
much ~ they do in Austin. The town
time varies from the time Mt the jewelry
stores, while railroad time seems to
regulate itself. Yesterday afternoon II
gentleman with srip-sack in his hand
remarked ON hearing the town clock
strike three: "Merclful Moses! it is n
quarter past four, and now the four
O'Clock train that was to go off on
left three-quarters of an hour ago"
Conversational defect: Gan Austin
merchant has the habit of interlarding
his conversation with "you know" A
few days ago Hostetter McGinnis, who
is always up to some deviltry, Went
into the store and said to the pro.
prietor; IL want, you know, paper,
you know, Of pins, you know After
Hostetter lad gone out the pro
prletor said to his chief clerk THAT
was comlcal cuss. you know. He
said, you know, you know, you know
everything he said, you know"
Rosoin ana Wagner Rossini was
one day discovered at the piano with
a copy of 'Tanhauser' before him
only the music stood on the rack up
side down, "What are you doing
there, maestro p asked his visitor
Don't you seer" am trying to un
dersland Wagner and | can't manage
it," "But you have got the music the
wrong way up "Oh, | tried it the
other way and it was no better"
Too smart An insurance agent ap.
( Piled to woman in Austin to induce
her to get her husbands life insured
"Wlll | be sure TO get the money if he
dies right otl?' Certainly, madame
"Rut will you give me any assurance
that he will die right cf'2" mo, ma.
dame, we cannot do that" "Woll
then, what good viii it be to me 70 gel
his life insured. if he don't die2" !
knew there was some catch about this
insurance business"
A Legislative joke ; Some of 'em are
very like Cousin John Thrasher's man
who told him ne wanted 10 be door
keeper, but cousin John had promised
to vote for another Teller and so to gel
nd IF nm he says: "Why, jim
did you ever Keep door, "No,
says he. did you ever study BOOK
on keeping q door, NO" says he
odd you ever re anybody keep a
door, Il never did, says he "Well
did you ever attend lectures in Augusta
or anywhere on how TO keep door 2
"Ol course not, says he. ".Well, my
dear sir, you had better 90 back home
and prepare yourself for the next SEES
SION and III vote for you"
The latest Iowa romance:
darnse who lived in Dubuque
Was ambitious TO marry duque
But ~ none came 10 her,
She accepted poor
Young fellow whose name It was Luque.
The bride was led up the lroai aisle
| Got up ia the mos k,iiing stajsle