Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-08-22
YE DRUMMER.
Something About the Wonderful Man
Who is Usually Found Attached to
Gripsaek.
An Elaborate Essay Showing that Mod
esty is After All the Best Policy
in Business.

numerously present in the city. There will
be other sections of him here In 'Septsnber
Very few people know what a drummer Is
and perhaps little enlightenment on the
subject would not be out of place. The
drummer inhabits railroad trains He is al
ways at home on the cars. He also Temporal
rily infests the best rooms in hotels. In
winter he wears an ulster with the surciDgle
hanging loose behind, and in summer linen
duster. He is usually swung TO a sstcheI
containing comb and brush. another shirt,
clean celluloid collar and a pair Of cuffs
also railroad guide, and newspaper wrap
ped around a suspicious looking bottle.
his Is about all the personal baggage he
carries, except Brookstde Library novel and
pocket-knife, with a corkscrew in the
back OF IT. He has two-story iron-bound
trunk, which contains SAMPLES of dem
goote," which he checks on 10 the next town.
He always travels for first-class house-the
largest firm in their line of business in the
United States, firm that sells more goods,
and sells them cheaper, than any two houses
in the country. He Is very modest about
stating these facts, and bushes when he
makes the statement, but he makes it, never
theless, probably az matter of duty. He
can talk on any Subject, although he may not
know much about it, but what little he knows
he knotes, and he let's you k1toD that he knows
1t. He may be giving his views on the fnan-
cial policy of the British government, or he
may be telling you what, IN his opinion, ia
good for boil; but he will do it in a man
ner and with an air which leaves the matter
beyond dispute. He is at home everywhere,
and he never seems out of place wherever
you find him, although you do not remember
of having found him in church. Sitting on
his gripsack at way station waiting for
train six hours behind time, and abusing the
railroad, from the president down to the
brakeman, with profuse and robust pro-
family which makes the air look blue and
smell sulphurous for miles around, he seems
in perfect keeping with the surroundings.
The scene would be as incomplete without
him az a race-course without yellow dog
on the track. When the drummer gets into
a railroad train, if alone, he occupies two
seats-one he sits on and the other he fills
up with his overcoat and luggage, and tries
to look as If they did not belong to him, but
TO another man who has Just stepped into
the smokiug-car, and would be back directly.
Drummers are usually found in pairs, or
quartettes, on the cars; they sit together in
double seat, with valise on end between
them, on which they play eucher and other
sinful games. When they get tired OF play
ing they go out in a smokiDg-csr, where
man, who Is travelling for a distillery, "sets
'em up" out of his sample case. For an hour
or two they swap lies about the large bills
sensational stories about their personal ad-
ventures, and exhibit to each other photo
graphs of the last girls they made an i'm
preston on, aud while the drummer is not
SYSTEMATICALLY bashful, neither does he as
sumo any outward show of religion. HIS
great love of truth is, however, one of his
strong points, and he is never known to go
beyond actual fscts, except in the matter Of
excessive baggage. Regarding this, he will
cover up 200 pounds in a 500 trunk.
He is the only man who dares TO adj
dress hotel clerks by their christian names
He knows every hotel in the country, and
every room in every hotel. When he arrives
by late rain, he is the first 10 leave the
"'bus" and get 10 the desk, when he says to
the clerk: "Hullo, Charley, old fellow, how
are you? Got No. l6 for me?" And the
clerk flashes his kohinoor and a smile at
him as he shakes his hand, pounds the
nickel plated bell-cali and shouts: "John,
take the gentleman's baggage TO No.
Is. In the dining-reom he is a
favoriie with the colored walters,
although he orders many dishes, and
finds more fault than any two guests in the
house. He does not believe the waiter, when
he tells him the milk is all out, but sends
him off to inquire further about the matter,
and while he is gone he helps himself out Of
the blue-milk OF the cream-pitcher. He
hirts with the chsmbermaids, leases the
bootblacks, and plays practical jokes on the
regular boarders. He goes to bed at a late
hour, and sleeps so soundly that the porter
wakes the people for two blocks around, and
shakes the plaster off the wall in trying
to communicate to him the fact that the bus
for the 4:20 o'clock am. train will start in
ten minutes. The drummer has much to
worry and fret him. Travelling at night to
save time, sleeping in the baggage-car, or on
the caboose of a freight train, with nothing
but his ear for pillow, humping over rough
roads on stages and buck oards, living on
corn bread and coffee dinners, yet amid all
the vexatious circumstances he is usually
good -humored and in the best of spirits, al
though he sometimes expresses his feelings
regarding the discomforts of travel, and the
toughness of the hotel steak, or the solidity
of the biscuits, in language that one would
never think OF attributing to the author of
Watts's hymns. All kinds of stories are told
of the drummer, some of them as improbable
as the stories they themselves tell. For in
stance, we once heard of a man who saw a
drummer in the piney woods of North
Carolina, camping out under an umbrella.
"What are you doing here?" 81 am camp
ing and living on spruce gum to save ex-
pensss," replied the drummer. "What are
you doing that for?" $40 bring up the
average" 1t seems the firm allowed him
a certain sum per day, and by riotous
living he had gone beyond his allowance.
By camping out and living on gN
for few days, the expense would be so al
as to offset the previous excess he hegbeen
guilty of. This story is probable .1kbrica-
ton. The chief end and aim of the drummer
is TO sell goods" tell anecdotes and circu-
late the latest slang phrase. II he under
stands his business, the country merchant
might as we'll eapitulate at once. There is
no hope too forlorp, nor any country mer-
chant too surly or taciturn for the drummer
TO tackle. The drummer is the growth of
this fast age. Without him the car of COM
merce would creak slowly along. He is an
that we have suppressed an almost uncon-
TROLL able imnulee to saw s0methinp about his