davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25

MADE FROM HARMLESS MATERIALS, and
adapted to the needs Of fading and falling
hair, Parker's Hair Balsam has taken the
first rank as an elegant and reliable hair
restorative.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25

Edibles are frequently named after
illustrious individuals, and fruits after
their discoveries, as for instance: Wash
ineton pies, Bartlett pears, Baldwin
apples, etc; and it is no uncommon
occurrence at the present day for n per-
son to walk into an eating saloon and
ask "Plato beans"
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25

Rev. DR.. Fowler says that a man who
at baptism does not 90 deep enoughinto
the water to get his pocketbook under
has not dipped enough t. save him
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25

SEND tor circular OF new style of Hopper
Scale with LeveliDg attachment. Borden,
Selleck & Co., st. Louis. (9)
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25
Fits, Fits, Fits,

successfully treated by Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association. Address, with stamp
for pamphlet, Buffalo, N
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25

FEvERs and Intermittents of all kind
re speedily relieved and entirely cured b
using Wrights Indian Vegetable Pills. {
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25
TIE BEST REMEDY KNOWN TO MAN!
Twelve Thousand Bottles

Twelve Thousand Bottles
Sold Since 1870!
This Syrup possesses varied properties: It stm.
ulates the ptyane in the saliva, which converts
the starch and sugar OF the food into glucose.
deficiency in ptyaline causes wind and souring OF
the food in the stomach If the medicine q LAKen
Immediately after eating, the fermentation OF food
IL prevented.
1t acts upon the Liver,
1t acts upon the Kidneys,
1t Regulates the Bowels,
II PuriieS the Blood.
1t Quets the Nervous System.
1t Promotes Digestion,
1t NOurishes, Strengthens and Inyigorates,
1t Carries off the Old Blood and makes New,
1t Opens the Pores of the skin and Induces
Healthy Perspiration.
1t neutralizcs the hereditary liant, or poison IN
the blood, which generates Scrofula, Erysipelas,
and all manner OF Skin Diseases and internal hu'
more.
There are no spirits employed in its manufacture
and It can be taken by the most delicate babe or by
the aged and feeble, care only being required In at.
tent II to directions.
Galva, Henry County, Ills.
was suffering from Sick Headache and Dizzi.
ness go that could not attend tony household du.
ties and short trial of DR.. Clark Johnson IEdi.
an Blood syrup elecInally cured me.
MRS HELEN ELKINS.
Waterman Station, DeKalb Co, Ills.
This is TO certify that DR. Clark Johneon's Indian
Blood Syrup has cured me of Pain in the Back, 1t
IL valuable medicine. MRS WOOD.
Centre Hill, White Co, Ark,
This Is to certify that ] was afflicted with Palpi
taton Of the Heart for many years tried differ.
ent doctors, whOse prescriptions tended more Ia
weaken me than they did TO strengthen. ! ~ last
res lived TO try DR., Clark Johnson's Indian Blood
Syrup which proved to BIZ positive curc-not on.
ly curing the Heart Disease but also Sick Head
ach which had been troubling me.
MRS MARY A. NEAL.
was afflicted with Liver Complaint and Dyspep
sia and failed to get relief, although using modi
cines from our best doctors | commenced using
Dr.. Johnsons Indian Blood syrup and short trial
cured me. T. w. RISING, Moline, III.
This certihes that DR.. Clark Johnson's Indian
Blood Syrup hgs efectually cured me of Dyspepsia
| Too much cannot be said In praise o II.
W. Il, WINNER, Bedford Mo-
Agents wanted for the sale OF the Indian Blood
| Syrup IN every town or village, In which have nc
| agent. Particulars given on application
DRUGGISTS SELL TT.
Laboratory z West Sd st., N. Y. City,
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-25

laboratory u West Sd st., N. Y. City.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19
PATRIOTIC PROTEST.

IL is not often that we give way to our feelings and make comment on any con- struction which friendly contemporary may place upon an expression of the AR kA>>Aw TRAVELLER. but the following from the Springdale Ent,prisc 90 closely involves question of great public inter- est that we cannot refrain from making a few remarks on the occasion
 The Arkansaw legislature Is made the butt of the most of the lokes m the AR KANsAw TRAvELER. The editor of the TRAvElER must have been at one time a member of tha, body he appears to be remarkably familiar with its failings. and takes deligh, in placing its members be fore the world as a set of fools and rural simplesons. in a buriesquing style. in fact, the Arkansaw legislature IS. for the most part, composed of class of gentle men the equal in intelligence of any leg islative body in the union. and the press of the state will sustain us in the asser- ton.
 1 The legislature is not the butt of nearly
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19
THE SWORD.

General Howard and General Grant materially differ on military matters. Howard thinks that the West roin, cadets should be instructed m sword exercise and Grant thinks that the sword should be thrown aside as Il Is useless m modern warfare. This question IS very lmpor- tant and people throughout the entire country will look with thrilling interest to fnal decision in the matter. .Arsu- ments in favor of both sides are being ad- vanced by some of the abesi men m the nation and |, Is likely that two mili,ar, parties will be the outgrowth of the affair. Grant says that the sword. m d Son of Ham parade. Is useful as an insignia of respect, but that the only use he can Ii nd for the sword in the service k 10 employ
 l, Tn broiling meat and spearing frogs. Howard says that many man has been killed because he did not understand handling the sword and urges the impor- tanoe of every West Pointer becoming a good fencer. IL seems to rh that Grant $ idea is correct; for fl the sword be ex- pehed from the army. no one is likely 10 die through ignorance of its use. The only trouble would be in convincing the enemy that he should not use the sword in prying among your ribs.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19
AMERICAN ARISTOCRAcY.

\ society in Baltimore is trying to es- tablish basis of Ameriean Aristoeracy, and has adopted rules prescribing the conditions of birth which justly enti,le a man to the honors of nobility The fol- lowing are the prescriptions
 Male descendants from the colonial governors. generals. and chief justices.
 Male descendants from the sgners of,he Declaration of Independence.
 ' Male descendants of the Knights of the order of the Cincinnati (Revelu;ion- ar, held otficers).
 ' Resident European nobility
 Those rules are very good bu; they do rot go far enough. for which reason we advise the following additions
 Male descendants of the American Col onel
 Male descendants of the slgncrs of pc ti,ions asking the governor to pardon a political thief
 The grandchildren of prize fighters
 Female descendants of the national washerwoman.
 Relatives of the man who does no, drink.
 Relatives of the man who does drink.
 Grcat-grandchildren of the man who invented the Amencan hired girl
 Great-grandchildren oi the man who did not invent the Amencan hired girl
 If these additions are adopted. we have every reason to believe that the society will be success. resulting in the estab- lishment of grand aristocraoy. There are so many purse-proud men in the United States that basis of family dis ,inction Is national necessity.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19
RETURN THANKS.
ernor.

The thirtie,h of November has been appointed by the Governor of Arkansaw as aday of thanksgiving. Every man must acknowledge some infinite source from which life springs and il IS his duty to return thanks for good health if not for prosperity If he has neither health nor prosperity. |, is his duty to be thankful for the fact tha, his health Is mol worse and that he is not ih debt If he is dying and IS in debt, il is his duty to be thank ful for the fac, that he Is not already dead and unable to pay his debts. Even man has something for which to be- thankful 4 man without thanks IS man without home and standing advertisement in humorous paper. From him the Lord has withdrawn the sunlight of his smile :: of hIm satan muses and ohuckles. From remotest time man has been enloined to feel gratefulness in his heart. The heart in which there is no gratefulness. no kindly remembrance. IS colder than the clammy ear of death. In returning thanks. no man Is expected ,c hop up and strike his heels together. He is no, expected to go around and whoop. bst 4 beamins. genial sun. smiling moon and merrl stars do expect hlm to warm up :. part of his soul and reflect. He needn't neglect to dodge the man from whom he has borrowed money. he need no; again ap- peal to the pawn broker who refuses to return his clothing. but he IS expected to allow the light of grea; day of divine homage to illumine section of his heart
 Thanksgiving day Is an American in sti,utlon. bu, il does not depend on either party certainly not on the greenback organization. The republican and ,he democrat. both ofwhom have been de- fcated, must return thanks. The country can, nine times out of ten. rejoice at their defeat, Then why should no, they par tioipate in their coun,ry's good cheer.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

(. E. Bl>Hor's play of Strictly Business
 s very amusing 10, of Americani>m> ,ANcn to Europe and exhibited. The nay has us, enough plot to keep il from saoilns Bishop lS 4 6ae- comedian. o4, he should not pu, the Widow Bedo,, sisirk on Mir Iihilklns. The greatest ob- .ec;ion to the play is an injustice imposed e. the Ercnchman. chief cook -nf the eekey club. and the English characters. The Frcnohman is compelled to express himself m badly broken language. set in g'>, and the English are ground down to A slaughter of the national h. while the nhilis,s. the uneduoa,ed plouer against -rhe life of the -ezar: express themselves in smooth and correct language. This IS oi course, eomplimen, te the lower class of Russians. bu, i, is slam a, the French nation which the Chamber of Deputies should not stand.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

ali the jokes in this paper. A slight maihe- matical calculation would show tha; no, one joke in twenty in the leas, refers to our great body of law makers. The editor of the Eakeyprise belongs to that public spirited class of men who speak well of the prospective and against the retrosPec- tive general assembly Heis doubtless not unknown to the class of veY young men who come down during ,he legislative session and offer services as assist ant clerk Still the EHferesise man may not be an office seeker 4 ,ruer patriot ism may struggle beneath the surface of his alabaster hide. The Arkansaw legis- lature wlli compare favorably in point of intelligence with any general assembly. in fact there IS very little difference. Some time ago during a session of the Kentucky legislature a drove of mules jumped over the fence into the s;atehouse yard. The governor. who happened to be riding by with friend. remarked ." Halloa. see the legislature has ad- Journed.
 The governor of Arkansaw would no, make such a mistake. His eyesight Is no, so good as that of the Kentucky gov
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

\ KIND of devilish self-possession has ever been a trait in Arkansaw character This self-possession lights up the sur roundings and shows up in full view the fact that resignation IS commendablc. fl not the better part of valor. \ great many men abuse fate and curse the cir cumstances which bring reverses of fortune. but the characteristic Arkansaw nan-not the young fellow who came here several years ago. bright faced and in,elligen, but who is now red. lazy. and with kind of" some of the same" man. ner of closing his commercial eye-but inc man who so materially assists time Y, its gliding in word. the old timer who says. !" want you to pay me that money as soon as you can and if you eantpay me then wait until you can't This is the kind of man who has charge of the characteristics which have mads Arkansaw famous. One of this class was dying the other day when the attending physician informed him of the approach. ing dissolution. Dying" he repeated
 Well, under the circumstances. reckon
 ts about the best thing can do.''
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

AN agricultural paper asks: How can we keep our boys from leaving the farm. This is national question. For years boys have shown a growing incli- nation to leave the farm and go to the city. Of course there IS no law 10 proven, this. but unless this wholesale desertior of agricultural pursuits IS checked. the held will be overgrown by persimmon bushes and the old sla, gate will hang in feeble and degenerate condition. Oak leaves blown by the signing winds of a changing season. will choke up the spout spring, and the rabbi, will hop around the corn crib in ,rernulous ecstacy. This mus, be prevented. Our agriculture must not suffer in consequence of the general wayward laziness pevading the coun- tn. |, is the youngsters nature 10 seek amusement. Life or the farm IS not exciting. The same pursui; day after day becomes ,iresome in fifteen or twenty years. and.;he young man natu- rally seeks objects oi interest. When a new wagon or strange horse comes in- to the neighborhood. the young man feels a thrill. bu; there are not sufficient number of new wagons and strange horses to keep up the emotions ot pleasure The farm must be made more attractive 4 kentuckian. some time ago. suggested to an agricultural club tha, in order to keep the boys a; home t would be good idea to employ brass band to play in the heids- The suggestion was adopted and was successful until nearly every young man wanted to join the band. Let some other method be devised, for farm work must not be neglected.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

TiiE ten years lease of the Arkansaw Fenltentiary ls on the verge of expiring and bids for the control of that extensive institution are coming from all quarters of the country. Ten years ago when Feb Ward assumed control. the peniteniiary WIS l heavy expense to the state. bu, un- ter his management the institution be- came line piece of property and as Ward made fortune, hundreds of people. !. hiking that the sure road to wealth has been pointed out to them. want to engage ire services of the disfranohsed lndivid- aal whose wardrobe initiates the makeup oi the zebra. Among the bidders IS Colonel ]. \. Smithee. president of the Ga-ctic Printing Company. who denies the vile aspcFsion that he intends 10 turn the prison into mann moth publishing house. The proprietors of this paper sen, in bid. but realizing the probability that they might soon be called upon to punish some of their friends, and perhaps relatives, they quietly withdrew the proposition and sent il to the insane asylum.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

A NEW YORK paper acknowledges Il. al many Of the worlds grea,es; men have been shoemakers. This. to some people. may seem a startling revelation. The fact that m old saying enloins shoema- ker to stick to his last. should not create the impression tha, all of the followers of that trade have obeyed the old time com mand. l, is true that in his profession he looks to the foo, instead of the head. bu, as extremes often meet he can ge, around to the head occasionally.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

THE London Ziwes gave ;hlrty-five lines ot Tlndall's tribute 50 Carlisle. one of inc mos; important literary events of the age. and eighteen columns cf paE!!a- men,ary "slush." After while. by care .uliy c;:l,;ya,;ng good taste and by exer- c:sing enterprise, the Tires can attain the level of the Arkansaw paper that gave ten lines to hard-fough, battle ana i've columns to the marriage of deputy con- stable.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

THi impression seems to be quite prevalent that I, was all mistake about hose spoons. Oii Gin BH-=ayd
 oi course. Any man who says that OFT friend Butler stole spoon !, a vile s.4ndereT of American statesmanship. TAe neN political change may prove that he did take ! spoon or two. but al pres er;. sir. his record is pure and above the 1.;acks of er.vious mortals who have been a,tareed in the nation srea, race for d chance to get in theIr work on the
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

TIiI latest literary success in England $ l book written by man who travelled around for weeks trying to secure pub isher. Nearly every great literary work has been refused by leading publishers. md after awhile the greatest compliment ;ha; can be paid book will be men ;!on of Us repeated rejection.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19
CAUSED BY INSANITY.

The crimes of melancholy are inoreas-
 ing every day and the newspapers. orators
 and preachers throughout the country are
 lifting their voices against this sad species
 ofinsanity It is terrible to be insane.
 To be insane with gladness. with morbid
 ninth. species of veD frequent mental
 derangement. Is bad, bu, how inconceiva-
 bly, worse 1t is to be crazy with sadness.
 Melancholy insanity is the most danger
 ous, and not only destroys it's own pro-
 prietor. but seeks to mutilatc other peo-
 pie. Persons afflicted w.th melancholy
 insanity arc s;=ca .c strange freaks. 4
 young man who lives in the eastern part
 of Arkansaw vas recently attacked by A
 fit tofmelanoholy unsoundness of frontis-
 piece. and since then he insists upon
 sleeping with the calf The other day
 when A young lady was visiting tho family, the young man entered and said Look
 here, if you are hanging around here with the expectation of sleeping with the calf.
 desire to inform you that your time is wasted" This young man will eventually impose on the family an enlargement of grief.
 Only few nights ago. the melancholy insanity of General Gastimo. d well known and highly respected citizen of this town and an able vocal assstan, at one of our fashionable churches, caused a-serioas eommotion at the opera house. As preventive ofan appetite calling for chew ins tobacco. General Gastlmo loaded his mouth with waN and began that vigorous and wholly unnecessary system of under law labor which can SO etfeotually wear a man ou, to so little purpose. 4 few seats in front sf the general. sat Major Backle- nuke. whose bald and polished head showed in ominous ghastllness when the gas was turned down at the conclusion of m act. The sight ef the bald head had an I'll effect on the general, and he chewed his gum with unrelenting vehemenoe. Finally. when the lights were turned down again. ihe general with nervous impulse, took the wad oi gum from his mouth, rolled il into ball resembling an enormous blue mass pill. and arising he hauled of and spat." he took" the bald head of the unfortunate Major Baeklemuke. The malor clapped hand on the top of his head and exclaimed in tones not to be for the ssf, accents eharao,eris- ,ie of t bridal ehanber. that he could llek the unresenerated son of d veterinary surgeon who would thus insult ,he hairless ! eNpan,e ofthe most mountainous territory oi tls phy sical layout. of course the general could not remain vice president under the expression -af such 'ndignities. that Is. he could not remain unknown. and stepping forw ard he introduced himself as the man rom whose recent transaction nigh, be the time honored toast. there's .o the hair often your head" It Is useless. yea. little less than cruel, to revive the scene how the major and the general fought and were finally taken down by he police. This is warning to beware of melancholy people. and we initiate the of a true and tried newspaper man and say. we draw the curtain on he grief of the afflicted family"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

.ARkA<s,w has become great apple s;A,e. but the people must learn that ship 9.ng fruit m barrels that have been used for the transportation of bone dus, and suano is no, the proper mode of ship pnf
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

BLEeHER has not yet succeeded in ha,ehing out new theology. Probably t.s idea is too much on the order of the rard hell =
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

WILLIAM BLACK, the novelist. is SO disturbed by the slightest noise that he objects to any one mending a boiler in his room during his hours of compost ton.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

THfRt now, take down your unsightly e..; of an exaggerated rooster. The cleo ton Is over.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

THE noblest thoughts we express in age are those we bring with us from youth.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:

i:stt,ef .t lae PostotEcr af Lin!s Roek, Ark. ~ 5sfo4d elas ndsi ssaa<r.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

The Eye of Chicago. has engaged the valuable services of Bernard Bigsby. ar English journalist of established reputa- ton. He will take an editorial position on the Eye, and will no doubt greatly in- crease the in,eres, of that popular pubii- cation.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19

r.. 0. L. Edholm. of the fiupi,a.. Hoyld. Cincinnati. is ;n the city. Mf. Edholm is well and favorably known D Arkansaw and will accomplish profitable work in the interest of his laudable pub lication
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-11-19


 opportunity. That night we sat where the russet fruit ripened. Her soft musical voice thrilled me. told her of my love. and she listened with that glorious silence which gives consent. She returned my love she would be mine. Bu, love she added. we will have to run away. Father thinks ,ha, every man who comes to see me wants his money. He knows nothing of a young heart yearning. The soft coo of the dove does no, express 10 him any more tenderness than the sharp est scream of the woodpecker.'
 We will run away" declared with ardor. We will fiy away from his wrath; we will bathe our souls in the perfumed waters of loves eternal pool
 ''She would be ready three nights from that time. was ,o come horseback. She would ride with ne. could se, the license the mex, day and request the clerk to keep the affair a profound secret. We would go 10 justice of he peace tha, lived a shor, distance away who would bind our love with strip oi law.
 Glorious woman' exclaimed IS l lay in the feather beds pi, of bo,tomless soft ness, gazing at the stars. Happiness. ah so long deferred bu, now within my eager and hungry grasp.
 When morning came hurried away after boiling down breakfast and bidding
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1882-05-03
WHAT NE WOULD DO.

Six or eight congenial spirits sat
around a stove in Grand River gro
Gerry the other night, and after several
other subjects had been exhausted some
ono introduced that of panics in church
o., thsaters and halls. This gave MIR.
Hopewell a chance to remark:
Gentlemen, ! just long 10 be there
"Where?"
"Why, in one OF those panics. Yes,
sir, I'd give new twenty dollar bill to
be in tho theater one night when theie
was an occasion for panic"
"Whyr'
"Why, because one cool, level-headed
man could stop the thing ~ easily as
you could end up that barrel of flour"
"Well, / dunno about that" obscrv, d
one of the sitters. There is something
awful in the cry Of fire, and hear it
where and when you may It startles al d
friahtens. What would you do In a
theater in case there was o cry OF fire
and rush?"
I'D stand upon my ssat, pail re-
volver from my pocket and shout out
that I'd shoot the first man who at
tsmpted to crowd or rush. Que cool
man would check the panic in ten sec
onds." Il
While the subject was being continued
tho grocer went " the rear end of the
store, poured little powder on board,
and gave three or four men the wink.
Directly there was a bright flash, yells
of '.firer' and powder and every man
sprang up and rushed. Hopewsll didn't
spring mp and talk OF shooting. On the
contrary, he fell over a lot Of baskets
piled between him and the door, got up
10 pillow his way over rack OF brooms.
aud when ho reached the sidewalk he
was on all fours, white as ghost, and
80 frightened that he never looked back
until he reached the opposite aide Of the
street.