The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-22

A fashion item says the belle OF the
period now wears at her waist belt a
little music-box, family playing n single
tune. The average American girl can
put on enough airs without attaching
music-box to her waist
A Philadelphia man who was going
away travelling promised his wife, who
was afraid to stay alone in the house,
that he would buy her dog. ''Be sure
and get one that snores loud" said his
aflectionate better half, lit will remind
me of you while you are away"
"As for Mrs. So-and-so," remarks
one of the guests in salon where they
are passing their friends under review,
"her worst fault is that she is bored
wherever she goes" "Her lack of
selfishness is still greater defect"
says another, "for she insists not being
the only bored person in the COM
pany."
"'Suppose," said lawyer to witness
he was trying to badger recenty--"s
pose should tell you that could bring
dozen men of your town to this court
room who would say they would not be-
lieve you on oath, what would you say"
And calmly the witness made reply, II
would say you lied"
II don't miss my church as much as
you suppose" the Boston Globe reports
a lady as remarking to her minister,
who had called upon herduring her i'll
ness, ''for make Betsy sit at the win
dow as soon as the bells begin to chime
and tell me who are going to church,
and whether they have got on anything
new"
A lady whose husband was the cham
pion snorer of the community in which
they resided, coniided to female friend
the following painful intelligence: "My
life has not been one Of unalloyed de-
light. have had the measels, the
chicken-pox, the cholera, the typhoid
fever and intiammatory rheumatism, but
never knew what real misfortune was
until | married burglar alarm"
The "lost and found" bulletin boards
at the principal seaside hotels are a
study. The lost side of the board al
ways seems full People appear to be
losing something all the while. Seaside
life makes them careless, apparently
Then, too, on the otherha the found
side of the board never seems to have
anything ON it. People appear never to
find anything.
Now, the beauty of paper collar"
remarked the honorable member, coax
ing refractory pin, sis its economy. You
wear one a week, then you turn it and
wear it another week. Then you split
it and you have two new collars with
one clean side, good for another week,
each of EN-" And adjusting the fiat
scarf over the red flannel shirt he went
down to dinner. -HdWkeye.
Some men have tact Said the bride
groom, who didn't wish either to offend
his bride or die of internal disturbances
"My dear, this bread looks delicious; bu
it is the first you have ever made. can
not think of eating it, but will preserve
ii to show to our children in after years
as sample of their mothers skill and
deftness."
"What Ais This Heart of Minep" is
the heading of story that is going the
rounds of the papers. We suppose he
saw his girl out riding with another fell
low. There is nothing that makes the
heart get m and pound ribs and carom
on the ot.lr vital parts and jump up
and down like churn-dasher, and then
get tired and keep so still you think it has
stopped beating forever, as TO see your
girl out riding with another fellow, we
are told.
A member of the last legislature, who
was less remarkable for the profundity
of his knowledge than for the overween-
ing confidence with which he advanced
his opinions upon any and all subjects,
was asked by fellow-member of a
somewhat quizzical turn of mind, while
discussing the New Code, what he deem.
ed the proper punishment for arson.-
"Well,' said he, with an air of profound
deliberation, 81 have thought on that
subject good deal, and have come to
the conclusion that he should pay a
fine of five hundred dollars and marry
the girl"
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