Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-10-27
POLLY GORDON'S PREMIUM DRESS

Polly Gordon was an old maid living
in Kansas; she was not born there, foi
the State had not been long enough
settled and ] will not mention the place
of her natiyity-but lest the excusablt
State.pride of the Ohio people be hurt
| will say it was not Ohio; and yet she
had energy enough at any hard work
that offered TO eutitle her TO the Presl
dency. If women were eligible to thai
position. She was able bodied, and in
her wav strong-minded, even TO obsta-
macy. Though she "didn't b'lieve in
them wimmin's rights wimmin she had
heered tell of" she always voted a.
school meetngs-the Kansas law give;
that privilege to women-"because Il
they wish to waste the peoples money
on 100 much schooliu' and high cdica
TIM, Pm goin' to do all kin to pre-
vent it," was her reason for voting.
She wore her dresses made in the
style that first prevailed when she put
on long dresses, and her scanty haii
from one years end to another was
twisted in little round knot and
pinned on the top of the back of hel
head. "The fashions kin come around
to me when they want to, I've no time
and amt goin' to run round after 'em,
WA her invariablc reply when some
friends dared TO suggest an improving
change. Her highest ambition on the
womanly side of her nature was to have
the finest colored, striped rag carpets,
the incest drawn-in rugs Of impossible
roses and improbable cats; the whtest
clothes and lightcst bread ofany house
keeper.
She carried on n little farm, and
among farmers it was her boast and
pride that her calves were biggest, and
pigs fattest; that her corn yielded most
TO the acre, and she never lost Il
chicken or turkey by pip or cholera
She could scarcely read or write, des-
pissed ''book -larnin' IA no count towards
gittin' along" and took no interest fol
the world outside beyond the price oil
hor crops and the groceries she had to
buy.
Mrs. Prudence Volney, for the last
four years PolIey's neighbor, also liv,
ing ON farm may fearlessly add
that she was from Ohio-was q refined
intelligent woman, very fond of read
ing, md Polly was always leGturlng hel
on her expensive tastes.
81 do think it's too foolish in you to
waste your money that way, and spend
your time, too. You pay out enough
hard cash every year for such trash rs
would bay two or three fat calves; if
you'd n done that way, countin' the
material increase, you'd had herd OF
cattle by this time, instid of all this
litter of books an papers; an you
might drawn in II dozen rugs Just like
mincp
Mrs. Voncy took this advice from
Polly in good part, for the maiden
lady was really kind-hearted and well
disposed, too ignorant of etiquette and
propriety, or the most common things
belonging to cultured, and might add,
civilized life, to he aware of the imper.
Thence of her suggestions.
So great was her prejudice against
newspapers and books, as wholly USE
less, that, while to the lightning rod,
sewing machine and patent pump man
she would give II not altogether impa-
tent hearing and examination of his
wares, the mid hammered book or
newspaper agent, with chrome attach
ments, WAS sure to receive II severe
"No, sir; you need not trouble your
self 10 take step inside! I've no
time To look Mt such trash, an no
money to throw away on it, an if you
want n piece of my mind, III you
you'd better pitch into hard work than
to go round i'll such low husinessl" and
~ she always gave call to the dog,
who stood by grinning with white teeth
that added To the effect of Polly'S re-
marks, the agent mildly said, Good
morning. and retired, crab-wise, with
meek side glauces in the dogs direc-
ton, and never came again
But Polly was human and woman,
and i'll 1t state where msn do 80 much
more abound than the other sex, she
had scarcely wondered why, with so
many substantial attractions of farm
stock, full cribs and fat turkeys, her
strong bony hand had not been sought
IN matrlmony. As she grew older and
accumulated more, she often felt the
disadvantage of not being around so rs
to know the price ofthings, but she was
entirely ignorant of the value or use of
newspaper i'll giving her the informs,-
ti0n she wanted. Besides, she wearied
of tending her stock and holding the
pillow, and itvexed her still more to pay
her hard. earned cash to some indiffer-
ent man, whom she feared, or knew
sighted his work, or i'll some way
cheated her
One day while chahcring about a
plow, she noticed ON the premium list
of the county fair:
BEST loaf of wheat bread, So, and
Kansas Former for one year"
The last clause very much puzzled
her, but she concluded that even for
year the farmer was we'll worth try
ing for, and he might be SO we'll suited
he would be willing to stay his life
time.
Mrs. Volney came in day or two
after.
Have you heern tell of the premi-
ums yit for the fair p
YES; have list"
"Will they truly give s. and \
Kansas farmer for the best loaf of light
bread9'
al presume SO, and | am half in
clined to send in Loaf
az should think you'd most be
ashamed to say so, and let folks know
it,"
Mrs. Nolney never dreamed of Polly :
mistaken notion in regard to the
farmer" and thought she meant she
took so many papers she ought not to
be so extravagant rs to want another;
and she was greatly astonished at the
blush that crawled up over Polly S
freckled face, and lost itself in the
roots Of her scanty, tightly drawn hair,
as she hesitatingiy went on:
well, to tell the truth, I'd like both
mighty well myself; moneys always
handy, and the farmer d be conve-
nient in the house and out OF door,
too. There's something's about farm
ing don't know, and, being just alone
by myself, l CAN'T look after every.
thing and so around too, and lind out
about things and so l get taken in. Do
you s'pose 1 could have the farmer
longer if it suited all roundi" she ask