Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-26
A TOAST TO WOMAN.
Il SPEECH BETWEEN CIGAR WHITES
At THE PILGRIMS DINNER.
Learned Notes About the Fan Ladies, the
Probable Origin Of Switches and the Hair
Pin Mystery, with Catalogue of Topics
Too Tremendous for Ten Minute Talk.
IN. Y. Sun, 2S.l

The New England society of this city
spent two hours at Delmonico's last night
over the nine courses of its dinner in honor
of the 262d anniversary of the landing OF
the pilgrims. There were about 800 din
ers. One of the table ornaments was a
comic representation of the transit OF
Venus, in which the candy observers were
looking through champagne bottles and
| other impracticable glasses. At the head
of the table sat the president of the society,
Josiah NJ. Fiske. Gov. Long, of Massa-
| chusetts; Senator Miller, of California
| ex-President Grant; Gov. Bigelow, of Con-
necticut, and Samuel F. Clemens, of Hart
ford, sometimes called Mark Twain, were
| among the guests.
At 9:35 p. m. President Fiske raped
for order amid applause for his prompt
| ness, and called upon the Rev. Arthur
Brooks to return thanks. The president
then welcomed the members and guests.
In response to the third toast, 'sThe
United States" General Grant said that
if he had known he was expected to re-
spond he would not have been present.
He could think of no greater agony than
to know beforehand that he had to speak.
Then he mentioned the United States
humorously as small place of no par
ticular consequence, and called upon
Mark Twain to make his speech for him.
Mr.. Twain, however, was billed to respond
to the toast to 'Woman-God bless her"
He began by saying that he had felt
honored at being called upon to respond
for General Grant, but could not under
take such task. He felt that General
Grants history would be the best speech
that could be made for him, and for him.
| self he would proceed to make his own
| speech. He spoke in his most deliberate
manner, smoking all the time, and inter-
| rupted at almost every sentence with roars
of laughter. This is what he said:
The toast includes the sex universally.
1t is to woman, comprehensively, whereso-
! ever she may be found. Let us consider
her ways. First comes the matter of
dress. This is most important consider
alton, in subject of this nature, and must
be disposed of before we can intelligently
proceed to examine the profounder depths
| of the theme. For text, let Us take the
dress of two antipodal types savage
| and the cultivated daughter of our high
modern civilization.
among the Fans, great negro tribe, a
| woman, when dressed for home, or to go
to market, or to go out calling, does not
| wear anything at all but just her complex
ion. That is all. That is her entire out
fit. It is the legitimate custom of the
| world, but it is made of the darkest mate
| rial. It has often been mistaken for
| mourning. It is the trimmest and neatest
| and gracefullest costume that was ever in
| fashion; it wears well; it doesn't show dirt.
L l.
| wash, and have some of it come back
| scorched with the flatiron, and some of it
with the buttons ironed off, and some of it
| petrified with starch, and some of it
chewed by the calf, and some of it rotted
with acids, and some of it exchanged for
other Customers things that haven't any
virtue but holiness, and ten-twelfths Of the
pieces overcharged for, and the rest of the
dozen mislaid. And it always fits; it is
the perfection of fit. And it is the
handiest dress in the whole realm of fash
ion. It is always done up. When you call
on Fan lady, and send up your card, the
hired girl never says please take seat;
madam is dressing; she will be down in
three quarters of an hour No! madam is
always dressed, always ready to receive,
and before you can get the door mat be-
fore your eyes she is in your midst. Then,
again, the Fan ladies don't go to church to
see what the others have got on; and they
don't 60 back home and describe and SLAM
der It.
"Such is the dark child of savagery as to
every day toilet; and thus, curiously
enough, she finds point of contact with
the fair daughter of civilization and high
fashion, who often has nothing to wear ;
and thus these widely separated types OF
the sex meet upon common ground. Yes,
such is tho Fan woman as she appears in
her simple, transformations every day
toilet. But on state occasions she is more
dressy. At banquet she wears bracelets;
at lecture she wears earrings and a belt
at ball she wears stockings, and with true
feminine fondness for display she wears
them on her arms. At funeral she wears
the bride who can afford it puts on panta-
looms. There the dark child of savagery
and the fair daughter of civilization meet
| once more upon common ground; and
these two touches of nature make the
whole world kin.
Now we will consider the dress of our
other type. A large part of the daughter
of civilization is her dress, as it should be-
l
their charm without dress, and some would
lose all of 1t. The daughter of modern
civilization, dressed at her utmost best,is a
marvel of exquisite and beautiful art and
expense. All the lands, all the climes, and
all the arts are laid under tribute to fur
nish her forth. Her linen is from Belfast;
her robe is from Paris; her lace is from
Venice or Spain or France; her feathers
are from the remote regions of southern
Africa; her furs are from the remoter
home of the iceberg and the aurora; her
fan from Japan; her diamonds from Bra
zil; her bracelets from California; hex
pearls from Ceylon; her Canoes from
Rome; she has gems and trinkets from
Pompeii, and others that graced comedy
Egyptian forms, that have been dust and
ashes now for forty centuries; her watch is
from Geneva, her card case is from China.
where her hair is from, front don't know
her hair is from-I never could find out.
That is her other hair-her public hair
her Sunday hair. l don't mean the hair
she goes to bed with. Why you ought to
know the hair I mean; it's that thing
which she calls switch, and which re-
sembles switch as much as it resembles a
brickbat or shotgun, or any other thing
which you correct people with. It's that
thing which she twists and then coils round
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