davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
Two Distinguished Travellers.

Two young ladies of Terre Haute,
were returning from California. The
i,arlor car they were in was crowded
with passengers. AT small station
woman in snowy attire entered and
demanded whole section OF a sleeping
car. Ii was not 10 he had. and the
conductor, brakeman. porter and cook,
whs seemed to ne impressed with the
new passengers Importance. were all
painfully exercised TO know where to
put her. They looked at the other
passengers with scorp. and seemed.
without exactly asking, to demand
an apology for their appearance ON
the car where they had paid for rights
and privileges. The cause of all this
commo;ion was very blonde, very
large. very richly clothed and very
swell. When it seemed impossible to
get her a whole section. Oh even half a
one. she turned to the young ladies
and said: viii you consent to take
the upper berth of your section and
let me nave Tue lOWcT.
Sorry We can't obl;ge you,r re.
piled one Of the pink-cheeked fairies;
but really We prefer to keep the
lower berth ourselves"
The big blonde Strengthened her
self up; threw inefabie contempt and
superhuman importance into her pale
eyes and said:
Perhaps you do not know who l
ann?
mo we don't replied the Terre
Haute girl in tone of very great in
difference
Il will tell you," said the woman
Of silks and jewels as her face bloated
with self satisfaction, Il am Mrs. Col.
Dunlevv Wickersham.
(Dunlevy Wickersham is known
all along that end OF the road rs a
bonanza man-bushels OF money-and
needs nothing more.)
Are you indeed ," replied the
hoosier maiden. not in the least over
whelmed. And perhaps YOU don't
know who | ann
Madame Bonanza's face said that
she did not know. and also that she
had some curiosity.
Il am Mrs. Gen. Grant"
"And said her companion, "am
Queen Victoria.
Madame Bonanza subsided.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
The Dry Goods Clerk.
Texas Siftings.

lekds
The drv goods clerk is a young man
who is paid $3.50 a week to stand
behind counter and sell dry goods.
If he can conceal his feelings, and be
polite to old ladies who ask CIR
samples of seventeen different pieres
of calico. his employers sometimes i'll
crease his weekly pay 10 SIS. Five
dollars 90 for board; The other ten he
invests in clothes. hair oil, and the
hire of a buggy on Sunday. He wears
his hair pasted down oh his forehead
in half circle, and is the prophet n
of sweet smile. which spreads all
across his countenance AMI ditfu-es
itself over the whole estab!i Shment
when the uptown Young ladies cal
to get ribbon matci.-l. He Assure
these young ladies that it Is "A.
trouble to show good he is respect
fully deferential to matronS with
manageable daughters; is charming
ly familiar with country customers,
and dignified and noncommittal with
male purchasers who forget whether
it was four yards of blue insertion or
a quart of foulard nainsook double
width striped hose that they were
told to get
The dry goods clerk wears seal
ring and gorgeous expanse of shirt
cuff. When customer has 90. all he
has ordered, the clerk says. Anything
elseg" and then in a very atfiuent
voice. shouts Cash :" When he re-
turns the customers change he again
SAYS anything else?" Why he says
it We cannot understand. as no one
has ever known the query to cause a
customer to purchase even an addition
al shirt button.
After the store is closed in the
evening, the dry goods clerk refresh
Is himself by rolling up the pieces of
goods that, in the course of business,
he has opened during the day, and
in discussing the financial and social
standing and the imperfections of
character Of the old ladies who have
an Unsuitable craving for samples but
who never buy anything.
The dry goods clerk lives in a
boarding house. in an sxlO room that
has small window opening ON the
back yard, through which the dying
echoes of the smell Of cooked Goldfish
balls may be distinctly head as they
gently float from the kitchen on the
evening breeze. His ambition in life
is to marry some girl whose father
will set him up in business, or. to be a
drummer.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04

three days. but it isn't over a week
before the family begins To lose their
appetite and hire cheap boy to 60
for doctor AMI stomach pump"
lis she sorry -
"Oh, YES. She didn't mean 20.
YOU know; never thought of killing
the family; always lived happy with
her husband had entirely forgotten
that he had any life insurance; was in
a hurry and didn't stop to look "
And is there vet another species of
DOdo
Several others, but We haven't
time to take 'em in detail and give
full particulars III each case. The man
u no thinks the best horse wins is a
Dodo. The woman wED gets tn So
ciety Oh the 5; ength OF her false hair,
small waist. pa l;ei eve broas, chalked
cheeks anu cralnred feet is a DOdO.
The man whu ihinSs ne CAN take COM
fort on a steamboat excursion the
man who g0e, on fishing excursion
the wo,r III who weeps over the
heathen--;Ie girl who writes poetry
"n sunsets the young mal looling
tor a necktie To become hin, tine old
man who n,arries young VIE why,
il would take ME an hour 10 mention
them all. Put away your books in a
careful manner and We viii walk out
and see some live specimens of the
Dodo. / know of one who has been
engaged to deliver q Fourth Of July Or
alton. aud perhaps We may get shot
at him."
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
A Little Damp.

"Have We had any rain in Indiana
this spring." he echoed, as he turned
in his seat.
"Yes."
swell, it's been a little damp out
there" he softly answered. The day
before leaving home had to hang up
twenty-eight of nv ducks. They had
become so well water soaked that they
could not swim. During the month
of April it rained 81 different days
"What about the other dav?'
ooh, that was the day OH which it
showed for % straight hours
"HOw is corn"
"Well, 1 planted mine in two feet
of water. and tween you and ME |
don't expect over thirty bushels to
the acre"
"Wheat looking well:'
"Tolerably we'll, but the sturgeon
and catfish are doing considerable
damage"
Didn't you get any dry weather
in May"
"rhere was about fiftesn minutes
one day when it tried to clear up. but
I hadn't commenced to bring out my
sheep before the rain came down
again"
"Grass must be goOd?"
"ShOuldn't wonder, but can't say.
When get back I'm going down in a
diving bell and see."
SCOT your potatoes in?'
"Not yet, I've got them loaded on
a scow. and the scow anchored i'm the
field in three feet of water"
"Then the prospect looks gloomy
"Not any, sir-nOt any. I've got
an ark almost ready to sail, and if it
will only rain for another week I'll be
the best fixed man in Indiana"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
MRS. LANGTRY AND NILSSON.
Details Of their Proposed Tours in
America Nilsson Not to Sing
in Opera-Campanini.
Boston Herald.

BOSTON FfrlAiis
LONDON, June 2l.-After long
and tedious series Of negotiations, MIR.
Abbey has secured Mrs. Langtrv for a
six months. engagement i'm the United
States. In the past season she has
made great deal of money. SO much
so that a fortnight ago, after finishing
her season at Edinburgh, she paid $3.50
for special train to convey her and
her maid to London, where she was
engaged at a dinner party on the fol-
lowing day. 1t is understood that
Mr.. Abbey gives her the same terms
as he gave Mile. Sarah Bernhardt,
':amely. so per cent. of the gross re-
ceipts, with a guarantee that her share
shall not fall below 81 900 a night. he
to pay her ocean passage both ways.
and her travelling but not hoteD ex-
penses; to engage and pay her company
and its ocean fares Gf EnglishD and
travelling expenses; to secure the
theaters and assume all responsible
ties of the undertaking. Mrs. Langtry
is to come over the last of September
or early i'm October, and will begin
her tour in New York. She will he
accompanied by Mrs. Labouchere, and
it is probable that her entire company
will be taken over from England.
Mr.. Abbey has also just completed
another engagement, negotiations for
which have long been pending. He
has secured Nine. Christine Nilsson
for all extended tour IN America,
to begin in the early autumn. This is
positive, all reports to the contrary
Notwithstanding. Nine. Nilsson will
not appear in opera, as has been stated
but only in concert, and a strong COM
binatiOn of artists is being organized
to accompany her. Signor DEL
Puente has already been engaged. and
it is very likely that Signor Campo
mini will accept. the very liberal offer
that Mr.. Abbey has made him. Signor
CampaniLi. on arriving here from
America, declared that he was worn
out with hard work and would rest
for season. He would not, probably
sing in opera. but he is tempted by
the prospect afforded him of concert
tour, and has about made up his mind
to try it. There is strong probable
ity that Mr.. Abbey will secure the
famous contralto. Mime. Trebelli-Bet-
tint, so long a favorite in opera in
London and the continental capitals.
He has offered her tempting terms,
but, although apparently favorably
disposed. she has not yet decided to
accept. There is, l believe. some
hitch about her engagements for next
season on this side of the ocean.
However, an intimate friend of hers
says to night that she will accompany
Nilsson.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
Natural History.

professor, what is a Dodo!
"There are several species of the
DodO, my son. and there used to be
several more before the fool killer cut
the country up into regular districts. !"
Please describe some of them to
me-"
with pleasure. You have prob
ably attended a Sunday school picnic
given on the banks of lake or river ?
Six fat women, two girls who wear
eyeglasses and very good boy who
lisps, make up party to take a ride
on the water. As they are ready to
shove off the Dodo appears and keeps
them company"
"What is he like and what does he
do?"
"He is generally soft-headed
young man under % years of age, and
he stands up and rocks the boat to
hear the fat women scream and in
duce the girls to call him Gweorge."
''Does the boat upset.
cit does"
"And is everybody drowned
Everybody except the Dodo. He
always reaches the shore In safety, and
he is always so sorry it happened. He
is sometimes so affected that it takes
away his appetite for lunch"
"And is nothing done with him.
''They sometimes rub bis head with
a cheap brand of peppermint essence
and turn him out to grass. but no one
ever thinks of dong him harm"
"And the next species -
1.-The next species is a youth from
sixteen to twenty. He labors under
what the ancient termed the swell
head. He gets out the family shot
gun or revolver to show of. He
points it at some boy or girl to see
EN- shiver, and after he has testified
before the coroner that he didn't know
it was loaded, the affair is looked upon
as ended"
els this species on the increase?"
"Well, no, The friends of the vic
TINS have got to making such a fuss
over these trifes that the didn't -knOw-
it-was-loaded Dodo isn't quite holding
his own"
"What is the third species?'
"The third species belongs to the
female sex. Of course there are two
sexes of Dodo. She buys arsenic to
kill rats. or corrosive sublimate to dis
courage bedbugs, or Paris green to
give ccckroaches hint to skip, and
she leaves the package on the pantry
shelf alongside of her baking-powder.
She may keep EN- separate for two or
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
One Of the Kings of the Rail.

Forty years ago r. F. Wilson was
poor country boy, residing in one OF
the mountain counties of Northeast
Georgia. Why he abandoned his
quiet. peaceful. frugal, happy home to
try his luck in the great lottery of the
worlds iostle, is matter of no conse-
9uence now. since it is a fact that he
ventured and gained the prize. He
is the chief owner of the East Tennes-
see, Virginia and Georgia railroad
and its branches, the Memphis and
Charleston and the Macon and Bruins
wick, or what is known as the Gin
cinDati and Georgia, which, when
the two short links are completed.
will dip down from Chattanooga, via
Rome, Atlanta and Macon, to the
city OF Brunswick, on the southeast
coast of Georgia. He owns vast in
terests in other roads, and has money,
stocks, bonds and real estate amount.
ing to several millions more. He
made the remark some weeks ago
tt ..:s.t he intended to come down south
and build him a railroad of his own.
A dispatch from New Orleans, in the
News of Sunday morning, discloses
the sequel. His engineers have been
over the line from Memphis to New
Orleans, and a road running parallel
with the Mississippi-perhaps skirting
the food line-is to be constructed as
quickly as men and money can &C.
complish il. One of Mr.. Wilson's
partners, his brother in-law, VIM.
NJ. johnson, who accompanied the
engineers, thinks ''no road in the
sonth runs through as much good cul.
tivated land, and that the line, when
completed, will do a larger business
than any new line ever built in the
south, as it runs through large sugar
and cotton plantations" Mr.. John
son and the engineers are probably
correct ia their estimate.
No section east of the Mississippi
presents better prospects for railway
tonnage. and as the road will start at
deep water on the gulf and connect at
Memphis with the Wilson system, ex-
tending to deep water at Norfolk on
the Atlantic. the importance of the
line can we'll be conceived. Mr.. Will
son is OF Irish parentage, and COM
menced his railroad career i'm an hum
BILE capacity when the road was being
built from Macon to Atlanta, nearly
forty years ago. He is now one of the
kings Of the rail. and his mileage is
second only to that of the Vanderbilt
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
A LIFE OF ELEGANT LEISURE
Or the Trials Of q Foreign Diplo-
mat-Swell Chaps.

The following interesting sketch OF
the ills of those swell legation fellows
at Washington is given by CORES.
pendent of the Buffalo Commercial
Advertiser:
To the world outside of Washing.
ton, which has an insane reverence
for important dignity, it may seem
that the young gentlemen who come
here from abroad in official capacities
are overwhelmed with business In
every conceivable shape. No doubt
they fancy (that is, the outside world }
that these foreign ducks get up early
in the morning, by the bright light,
and are kept busy till a late hour in
the evening in sending important
private communications To their home
governments about the condition of
republicanism in the United States.
and the prospects of its doctrines eat
ing out the mOnarchies of Europe.
So much for the theory, and now a
word or so about the practice and the
actual facts of diplomacy from a
Washington standpoint.
Il am SICK" said one, "of this
whole diplomatic life. 1t is one con-
tinued round of idleness and sloth
How do | pass my time? 1t makes me
ashamed when / think of it. Well,
nv servant has standing orders to
wake me up at ii o'clock. When he
comes. | tell him to come again at l.
o'clock. and then | again tell him to
come at l o'clock. because it is an irk-
some duty to confront the sunshine
and see other people busy, and I al
WAYS put it of till the latest moment.
What then"
"Well, order nv bath, and next
NV breakfast. and it is about 2 o'clock
before | am ready to 60 on the street.
You want to know what next? Well.
from that time on till bedtime 1t is
one constant battle to kill the hours.
drop in at the legation, and We
smoke few cigars and drink some
wine and tell a few of the latest stories.
The relations between the United
States and my native Spain are SO
friendly that We poor diplomats are
going to seed. Do not make a mis-.
take, my friends You think it is an
easy life. You are wrong. Nothing
is more wearing than idleness when
forced on you by the circumstances of
the case. We are invited out to re
ceptions? 0. yes; but that soon loses
Its charms Every month / re
ceive handsome remittance from nv
family, over and above my salary
with the legation, but | am tired of
spending it in the old ways. have
exhausted the opportunities for
pleasure. and sometimes feel as if [
could envy the common mechanic
who has regular hours for his work. >
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
Out on First Base.

IN ago CnSrS.
A young couple of Prairie avenue
had conversed long and earnestly one
night, last week. about the weather
and other thrilling subjects, and at
1890 Llewellen grabbed his soup
dish castor from the SIS hat rack and
prepared to 60 home. In the hall
were some rare exotics, among them
a young century plant, only year
old.
"They are curious flower" said
Maud.
'.They are that" replied Llewellen.
How [ should like to see one In
bloom"
"Would YOU truly - inquired Maud
with a radiant, artless look in her
soft, brown ewes.
Indeed | would" said Llewellen,
a wild hope springing up in his in
experienced heart.
As they stood in the door way be-
meath the warm, bright stars of June.
and he held her snow-white, jewelled
hand in-his'n-Maud asked him to
call again.
Llewellen ventured to squeeze the
tiny, unresisting hand.
eyes, call" she said softly, and
tenderly, "call again Llewellen-
when the century plant blossoms.
Cardinal Points to Remainder
That Acker's Blood Elixir is a specific
remedy for neuralgia. rheumatism, malar-
ious and other fevers, scrofulous tendencies
and all forms OF blood poisoning 1t puri-
fies tho system, rouses and develops the
nervous energies, enriches the blood, pro-
motes appetite, di,pels languor and re-
stores the body TO robust health. Sold by
Bard x Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
Nervous Debility-A Cure 0uarsn

DR.. E. C. Vests Nerve and Brain treatment;
specific for Hystera Dizziness, Con vulsieus Nervou
Headache, Mental Depression, Loss Of Memory
Spermatorhea, Impotency, Involuntary Ennis
sions, Premature Old Age, caused by over-exertion
self-abuse, or over-indulgence, which leads B.
misery, decay and death. One box viii cure recen
cases. Each box contains one months treatment
One dollar box, or six boxes for d We dollars
by mail prepaid on receipt of price. We guarante
six boxes to cure any case. With each order re
ceived by us for six boxes, accompanied With 6v
dollars, we will send the purchaser eur writes
guarantee to ret the money il the treatment doe
not eject a cure. Guarantees issued only by Au.
T. fleiscbmsn, druggist, Sedaiia Ne. Orders b
mail at regular price. s-21lxriyr.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04

and Gould systems. With great OAR
ing in enterprise Mr., Wilson has
wonderful caution, and with energy
and quick perception he combines
discretion and judgment. Take him
al in all, he is one of the shrewdest.
safest, most successful and most reli-
able business men i'm the country.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04
DRUGGISTS SELL IT.

Laboratory, n West 3rd ST., n. Y. City
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04

wish to inform you of the facts Of one of the
most remarkable cares Of Dropsy known in this
country was afflicted for a mum Der of wears aud
tried different doctors and various remedies out all
To no purpose. One doctor said / could not live
tRree weeks. | was advised 10 try some OF D..
Johnson's Indian Blood Syrup, which did, and in
short time was able TO go TO town and call upon
the doctor who said could not live. II perfectly
cured me.
John MILLER
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-07-04

GROUP, WHOOPING COUGH and
Bronchiti, Immediately relieved by Shi-
loh's Cure. For sale bv all druggists.
National Republican., 1882-11-27
A neIigIous Ne,ysn,,,,,

we uesiro TO cali the attention OF our readers 10
one Of the largest ab!est aud most non,T.- W
ligious newspapers published-one tl,sr .oa,,-o ~
the b9st writer's In THIS country and Euronc ~
gaFdless Of expense; has tho best and fullest boo
reviews ot any paper in the country; has ohIa
arneie= upon financial and commercial subiects.
mas departments edited by specialists and devotsd
i,io No o Hfs mu5ic science religious Intelligence
hyihn notes, the Sunday-schooi, legal and seHI'
sTy Questions S Biblical research s6mehiHu TINT
fnitnS SS S,d touhd IN any other newspaper In the
weekly market reports, &c-in fact, a newsnane..
" SSniGh, MIN us twenty-five distinct depGrnehts
rs suited 70 the requirements of every fan,iiv n,
tal9lhs iund Of information which oamyyn6t eGi.,
hau r ~ nny oIhe[ shape, and having wide ciroS
~. @ 10 ~ ~, over me country aud in Europe We
- an tne iaisgst the a9est the best See sdyertssl
y, ,leat 10 another column ana send postal caTd
National Republican., 1882-11-27
I GOT THE 'pRop' ON HIM
Ford. nn.r rI

MT. Elliott Barnes's "only Farmers Daupb.
ter opens at Fords Opera House tonight. The
pro-. o' lne drama treats of happy family-a hus.
to supplant the wife in the affections of ber hns
oana, , and u villainous accomplice material
Th STHGent zen ior very interesting and strong plav
VINO, III addition toa handsome presence posSaSSas,
strOng Dramatic ability. She is supported bya
,vipay ,innp carefully selected for their oiIaiifca.
NY dnere Is no doubt that the play will meet win
this week. as 1t has been larcciy
has rnen & ulid warmly com mended wherever il
,,resa,g eeng WIN success in it, the one which will
~, a ~ mere to-night and which is pIayinp
National Republican., 1882-11-27
TAYLOR & HUFTY.
Price Bulletin for the Next Two Weeks

At 10 Cents.
Eve cases Wool Filling Fancy Dress Goods,
Ualue, 10 cents.
At 124 Cents.
Fire cases Wool Filling Fancy Dress Goods,
gatue, 25 cents.
At IL Cents.
Tuelve cases Plain Colored Cashmere, ralte,
Is cents.
At Is Cents.
Sir cases Brocaded Dress Goods, val,te, 80
cents.
At 123 Cents.
Eight cases 30-inch avide dark Rubans, good
ral,le, 25 cents.
AT Is Cents.
TWelUe cases beautiful High Colored Plaids,
ralue, % cents.
At IS Cents.
One case beautiful Steel Grey Mirturss ualue,
25 cents.
AT 20 Cents.
Tro cases beautiful Dress Goods, assorted,
Valle, So cents.
AT; At 2S SIS GssBlts~ Blts ,"'"', 'a"',
aC IS Cents.
rue cases 45-inch qUde Colored Cashmere.
va'ue, 45 cents.
At 373 Cents.
%" cases 4o-tnch acide Plaid Dress Goods
actual vatue, rs cents.
At A5 Cents.
1"ree cases 4O-inch wide AH- Wool Cashmere
eatue, 60 cents.
At so Cents.
1hree cases 4O-inch uide AU- Wool Cash,oer,
vata.e, 65 cents. ''"'''''
AT so Cents.
1"o cases 44-inch aUide AU- Wool .shoodo
uatue, rs cents.
AT S24 Cents.
1Uo cases 44-inch qcide AH- Wool Casb,nere
value, S73 cents.
AT rs Cents.
1tco cases 44-inch aOide AH- Wool Cashmere.
qattte, $1.O0.
we haveiust opened fifty pieces n yeouarto-. ,,,,o
,hs ooi biarrtz, IN steel-mixed and other dnrk
'hades, at 5S cents; actual value 81 NA
one case Billiard Cloth-the fines, o,, , |
~ poftea-in all the leading shades at a. is. va,no
io'' Also 70 French Cloth Robes. rednced 10 s,o
run vo one case Cashmeres, 40 inch wide in craor,
nu MI lne iight opera shades, at so cents orr go
MI 1901 French Dress Goods. in stripes dar. coIors
es,.si vaue, Si2 Thirty pieces 45inch wide Col.
'ooi and silk. atsl.25; value, sI7a "ii