Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-11-17
AS MERRY AS CRICKErs.
Frame your mind to mirth and merrimeat
Which bars 4 thousand harms.

EfdlAS your mlnQ TO mfrt1 anu mSrf2me1t
Which bars q thousand harms.
Taaing efths SAresc.
Election echo: "Need q new hat p
he said. mo, but I'll tell you in con-
fldence why / bought it. want folks
to think I'm democrat"
Easy to keep dark: TIE colored
people, ought to make the best mem
bers OF secret socitIes. 1t is SO easy for
them to keep dark"
He lost the bet: An Iowa farmer
bet rev hat that he could cross the
railroad before the train came up. He
lost by ten feet. The distance was
measured by his heirs.
illness of the Micado: The latest ao-
vices from Japan report the mikado
SICK OF peculiar Japanese disease dis
ease called 'kakake.' A suffering
contributor wonders how he "t-took
the kakake."
Revenge is sweet: ayes, sir" said
the irate man, 81 got even with that
clergyman. 1 slurred him. 1 hired
hundred people to attend his church
ana go to sleep before he preached
i've minutes.
A Funny verdict: The verdict of
the coroner's jury at Tunbridge Wells
on the death of a child was: "The
child was suffocated, bat there is no
evidence to show whether the suffoca-
ton was before or after death.
Plantation philosophy: De shanghigh
chicken minds me OBJ certain men dat
Use seed. He crows mighty loud an
brags around 'mong de hens an young
chickens, but when a game rooster
comes around he's got business on de
udder side OBJ de fence.
The big hat problem: 81 don't see
why the newspaper fellers make SO
much fuss about the woman's big hats
at the theeayter," said bootblack;
they don't bother me at ALL" 1t will
be remembered that the be otblack and
others of his ilk always occupy the sky
| seats,
A train of thought: "What did you
think of my train of thought" asked a
lecturer of a supposed friend. Il
thought it lacked only one thing" re-
piled the supposed friend. sAhl" res
ponded the delighted lecturer, "what
was that7" "a sleeping car" was the
answer.
A duelist sat upon: Scene on railway
platform at Heidelberg. Traveller Ito
university student)-"Sir, YOU are
erowding; keep back, sir" U. S. (fierce-
lly)-Don't you like it? Allow me to tell
you that l am at your service at any
time and place." Traveller (benignant-
lyl-"Ah, indeed; that is very kind of
you. just carry this satchel for me to
| the hotel"
Origin of wise saying: Did it ever
occur to you why old Solomon made
the remark about there being nothing
new under the sun? Well, the fact was
that his numerous wives kept
limiting to him about having new bon
nets, and he merely murmured that
there was nothing new under the sun
in order that they might be made to
believe that the fall styles in hats had
not yet struck on.
Cul bono: An Arkansaw politician
was approached by man, who said:
Colonel, please give me nickel,
want to cross the river" "Haven't YOU
got a nickle?', "No, SIR" 81 won't give
you one. A man that hasn't nick ell is
just as well off on this side of the river
as the other. Now if you had money
enough to establish yourself in business
after crossing I'd give you nickel. AS
1T is, you'd better stay here"
photography in free country: There
are hand-painting sign in front of an
uptown grocery in Chicago which olig-
| inally read in dark, rheumatic letter.,
"Calt for Sail" A very nervous and
sensitive man lying around the corner
noticed that 1t was wrongly spelled ard
spoke to the proprietor about it.
| Hasn't that sign been changed vet Bill p
he inquired of his confidential clerk.
mo guess not" "Well hang it all! I
told the boy to fix it up last night; give
me that marking pot" and rushing out
CT the store the board soon bore the
cabalistic words, "Sault for Gale"
Earning livelihood: "You are a
brute, and if the law allowed me to do
SO would have forty lashes put upon
your bare back. You not only refuse
to provide for your family but you beat
your wife BESIDES" was the language
used by an Austin Justice to burIy
negro. Boss, you has got dis heah case
mixed up in yer head. I owns up to
beatin' my wife, but does it outen pure
kindness" "a strange sort of kindness
indeed" eyer see, Jedge, if didn't
beat her and make her howl like de
mischief de kind hearted neighbors
would stop bringing good things to eat
and gibben her clothes and de like. Dat
is de way .purvides for my family,
ledge.
What the Flirt said.
If made you think ms yours,