davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
Literary Puzzles.

Literary puzzles are not exactly a
novelty. An advocate named Marchant
took it into his head to write a long
love .etter, from which the vowel a
should be excluded 1t exists printed,
but absurd. In 1916 one Ronden out
did the love letter by composing La
Piece sans A,which was acted (but only
up to the commencement of the last
scene) at the Theatre DIES Varieties,
drawing crowded house to witness the
first performance of this dramatic Grip
pie. The curtain rose. Duval entered
from one side of the stage and Men
goZzi from the other. The first words
uttered by the latter parsonage were
"Ah, monsieur! vous voilal" at which
the whole audience burst into roar of
laughter. 1t was curious beginning
for "A Piece Without an A" Luckily,
Mengozzi was within earshot of the
prompter, and corrected his mistake
with "Eh, monsieur! vous voici!"-
London Society.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
The Richest Tin Mine In the World.

To the westward of the Surrey Hills,
in Tasmania, in the County Of Russell,
and at distance of hundred
miles from Launceston, lies Mount Bis
choff, and here few adventurers found
tin LII 1872. A company was formed
and workings were commenced. An
eminent mineralogist reported that the
mountain was almost mass of tin, the
ore yielding from 20 to S0per cent. of
pure metal Large smelting-works
were erected Mt Launceston, and in the
year 1876 thousand tons of tin were
raised Twenty-Five shillings only have
been paid up on each share, but the
present market price is from EGO to
f69, the company during the last four
years having paid dividend every two
months of 10 shillings per share. A
fortunate gentleman in Hobart, who ex-
pended fS75 in the purchase of 700
shares in 1873, now rejoices in the re-
ceipt of f2,lO0 year as the income of
his investment.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
Bill I'VE on GO.Aheaditiyeness.

1t is all right to keep up with the
should avoid abruptness so far as pos
sible. The momentum acquired by
some of our young people is truly
alarming to an old man. Nothing stirs
the blood of an old mans heart and
makes his pulses fig like the gay and
festive immediate girl and the wink of
her soft blue eye Abruptness is one
of the peculiarities of our beautiful
climate. People get rich rapidly, bust
simultaneously, get acquainted pre-
viously and shoot Immediately. They
clio not give that close and wearisome
study TO important questions that East
ern people do. They jam ahead and
do what they have to do early, and re-
pent of it afterward. It's cold day
when man has to repent of thing
before he does it, and afterward, too.
We are like the man who decided to go
over into pasture, catch bull by the
nose and yank his head off. The idea
was so fraught with mirth mat he lay
down in the sand and rolled overt
made him laugh so.
After he had grabbed the bull by his
aquiline nose, and the bull had, in a
frolicsome mood, in return thrown the
man over the fence into the road and
driven his head into the ground, Pat
said it was fine thing he did his laugh
ing before he monkeyed with the bull.
We have told that story a good
many times, but we don't care if we
have. When man hasn't but one
story and can't tell that but once in his
life he can't have very much fun.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

HANGTowN is a railroad station in
Washington Territory. Il dunno jest
how we cum ter git SIGH name, cos it
wor named afore we cum ter live yere,"
said a gloomy resident to tourist but
we amt agoin' ter keep the doggoned
thing no longer'n we kin git postofiice
an the Legislator meets. We uns air
older nor Rathdume or State Line, but
we don't seem to grow a bit. People
won't settle here, sumhow, an we think
as how it's all on account o. the name
They say as how six or seven thievin'
Cayuse Injuns wos strung up on that
ar tree in front o. my house. They stole
a lot o horses down to Spokan, and wos
cotched here. But that's no good ex-
.cuse for calm us hangmen and our
place Hangtown, is it? We uns air
thinkin' O. movin' away from here, COS
the town is just as good as killed, an
all on account ov its name"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

RECENTLY Capt. Burton, the traveller,
reported that almost illimitable gold
can lie obtained on the Gold Coast, At
RIGA, district which has been aurifer-
,ously prolific for centuries. He says
the region is equal to half dozen Cali
fornias. In this he is supported by the
English Commander Cameron, who in
vestigated the Gold Coast in his COM
pany. Gold is found in the sea sand, in
the dust of the roads, and in the mud
walls of native huts. A subject of such
importance has of course been widely
discussed by experts in England, and by
this time large numbers of prospectors
are doubtless verifying matters on the
spot. Notwithstanding all the difficult
ties that would confront gold miners in
Africa-the insalubrious climate the
savage inhabitants, the hostility of the
native rulers, and other obstacles equal
ly as great-there is no doubt that when
proof positive is obtained that great
gold deposit exists there all Those diff
culties will be overcome, and that white
men and the capital and energy of civil
ization will flow thither to confront
those of nature and barbarism.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

Mr.. CoLoUHoUN was lately enter
tanned at public dinner in Rangoon, to
celebrate the success of his enterprising
and dangerous journey through China,
from Canton to British Burmah. The
following are the salient points of his
speech: He divided his journey into
two parts, the first the Canton river
and the second the Yunnan river. As
10 the prominent characteristics of the
latter river, it is navigable by light
draught steamers, and forty miles of its
upper portion are gorges and rapids.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
Michigan Military Academy.

Among the educational institutions
under State supervision is the Michigan
Military Academy at Orchard Lake,
Col. j. Sumner Rogers, Superintend-
ent. Not only has Gen. Sherman high
ly commended it, which vouches for the
excellence of it's military training, but
what concerns the people of the State
quite as much, that eminent scholar,
Prof. Moses Colt Tyler, when on the
State Board of Inspectors, reported it
prosperous schools in the Northwest as
preparatory for college or for business
life. It's course extends through four
years. It's catalogue, just published is
well calculated to draw particular atten-
ton to it.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

In the order of production Michigan
stands first among the States in the
growth and manufacture of lumber,
first in salt, first in copper, first in char
coal pig iron, certainly second, if not
first, in iron ore, first in its fresh water
fisheries, fourth in wheat. and fourth in
wool. 1t has the largest iron mines and
the largest copper mine in the world.
Seven-tenths of all the wheat raised in
the country is grown in nine States,
and only three excel Michigan in the
volume of this crop. Winter wheat is
successfully grown in all parts of the
State. In the last census year it pro-
duced more wheat to the acre than any
State in the Union, except Colorado,
whose total yield was less than ], 5O0,-
900 bushels, and whose agriculture de-
ponds upon artificial irrigation. All its
principal products are staples for which
there must be q constant and growing
demand.
In the production of lumber. salt and
copper Michigan not only surpasses but
far outstrips any rival State. No known
region of the same area equals the
northern part of the Lower Peninsula
in the richness Of its stock of timber
The average saline strength of its natu-
raj brine exceeds by 30 per cent. that of
the Onondaga salt springs, and is nearly
treble that of the salt wells of West Vir-
ginia, Ohio and Pennsylvania.
Its copper is not an ore cut 9 pure
metal, which is ready lev he market
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

MAI MILLS emigrated from Kentucky
TO Montreal soon after the close of the
Rebellion with lady whom he intro
duced as his wife. He died few
months ago, leaving a life interest to
his widow, at whose death it was to go
TO the hospitals and public charities.
One clause of his will set apart $4,000,
the interest on which was to be expend-
ed annually for bread for the poor.
Now deep sensation has been caused
by the appearance of Western lady
and some children, who lay claim to the
estate of the deceased.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

Mr.. ROBERT PORTER, one of the mem
bers of the Tariff Commission, was Is
years Old when he came to this country.
be went West and engaged himself on
a farm at Sl2 a month. In year he
had acquired reputation for his ability
to pitch hay; in few years he was still
more celebrated for his skill in handling
statistics. At the age of 20 he was
made Assistant Superintendent of the
Census of 1880, in charge of the subject
of debt, taxation and cities.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
About Butter.

The Hon. Roscoe Conkling once said
in playful mood: The women of this
country could churn out the national
debt in ten years." but at that time
dairy products were not so high as they
have ruled since. When the total pro-
duction of butter in the United States
was not over 100000 pounds per an
mum, the average price for the finest
was 10 to II cents per pound. Now,
with total production of 1,2OO,OOO,OOO
pounds per annum, the price in many
cities last winter was 40 to As cents per
pound for the best, and it was all used
at home
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

A SAN Francisco man laid down a
package of United States bonds while
he paid for magazine, when we'll
bred, well-dressed gentleman engaged
him in discussion over an article
which had attracted his attention in the
magazine. They grew quite interested
in it, but presently the gentleman with
drew. The bondholder put out his
hand to pick up his envelope of bonds
1t was gone. The police said English
Bill" was the cove, and set out to find
him. But they were quite baffied, with
the exception of one detective who hung
on. The only clew he had was the fact
that English Bills" pal was seen driv-
ing in fashionable quarter and stop
ping at q well-known boarding school.
The detective made himself "solid"
with one of the chambermaids, who de-
clared that there was not man in the
house. But he patiently continued the
acquaintance. One morning she came
out of the gate in the back yard and
emptied pail of Stops into the gutter.
Suddenly he saw a bit of paper floating
along. He picked it up and looked sat
isfed. A day or two after when -
French girl" who had been in the institu-
ton few days and kept her room on ac
count of the neuralgia, was about driv-
ing away in a carriage, the detective dis
robed her and showed the astonished
school teacher that she had been har-
boring man. Most of the bonds were
recovered. The thief had been detected
by shaving paper. To maintain his
feminine character he had been obliged
to use the razor every night when the
rest of the house was asleep. Weeks
had been employed in perfecting the
ruse and arranging the matter so as to
allay all suspicion. The clever rascals
had learned all about the school, and in
the Introductory correspondence had,
without appearing to do so, played upon
the lady's vanity. An unconsidered
trihe had betrayed them.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

There are numerous fine cities. The
evidences of former affluence are due
to the important carrying trade of the
Yunnan. which is now fast decaying,
owing to the Mohammedan rebellion,
which is driving the traffic on the
Yangtse river on account of the unr
friendly attitude of the inhabitants.
placards were issued Offering reward
for the head of the traveller. I'M
friendly towns were avoided, and the
Chinese dress adopted. Regarding
Yunnan, its mountainous plateau is
about 5000 feet, and the ranges are
$4,000 feet in the north, falling to 5000
OH the south. The scenery, the climate,
the people, the languages and costumes
all change rapidly. The numerous fine
cities attest the former prosperity of the
population Opium, minerals and tea
are the main exports, and the imports
are cotton from Laos and Bhamo, also
English salt and piece goods from the
latter. He met with numerous large
caravans on the way home from Thibet.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

IHR news of President Garfield's
sieath, which occurred on Sept. 10, 1881,
did not reach Alaska Territory until
April II, 1882.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

CERTAIN dress reformers are suggest
ing the advisability of discarding the
vest entirely, as they consider 1t use
less article of clothing. This movement
will receive the hearty support of the
sports who wear their watch chains
across the outside of their coats.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
Health I'm Michigan.

Reports to the State Board of Health,
Lansing, by fifty-one observers Of
diseases in different parts of the State,
show causes of sickness during the week
ending Sept. 2, 1882, as follows:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

The aggregate is 467, 6s7. This in
cludes aliens and many others who,
though of voting age, are not voters.
The largest vote ever cast in the State
was at the Presidential election in 1880,
when the aggregate was 352,22S.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

THE Herald, of Richmond, has dis
covered that eight out of ten sons who
are left money by their parents soon
contract Incorporate habits. Parents
should leave their money to further
North Pole expeditions.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

The latest bulletin of the Census Bu-
reau gives as follows the number Of
males of voting age in this State ac-
cording to the census of 1880:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

"THEY tell me you have had some
money left you," said Brown. "Yes,"
replied Fogg, sadly, "it left me long
ago"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
Number Percent

Beside those tabulated above, the
following named diseases were reported
each by one observer: Cerebro-spinal
meningitis, diabetes, sore-throat, mumps
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

WHY are farmers like fowls? Be-
cause neither will get full crops without
industry.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

WHY MICHIGAN Is GREAT.

The REASONS ARE FULLY SET FORTH BY ONE
or HER DEVOTED ApMRERs-THE GROWTH
OF POPULATION AND NDUsTREs-WHY THE
FARMERS ARE RICH AND Prosperous
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15
CENSUS FIGURES.

THE NATIVE FOREIGN AND CoLoRED MALES OF
VoTING AGE IN THE STATE
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-09-15

Number and Per
Cent Of Obserp-
ers bv Whom
Each Disease
Was Reported.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-02-23
Not That Kind of a Hollyhock.

An Austin colored man, Jim Webster
by name, of rather limited education,
and whose memory is remarkably de-
fective, was recently blessed with son.
His wife, who is more intelligent, deter
mined that the son and heir should
have high-sounding name, and select
ed a very beautiful one. When the child
was presented to the clergyman to be
baptized the latter said:
"Name dis infant?''
Jim scratched his head for a while
and finally said:
"Squash.''
"Dat's no proper name for Christian
child.''
Sunfower, den."
Once more the clergymen shook his
head incredulously. jun Webster leaned
over and whispered to his wife to give
the right name.
"Hyacinth, she replied.
"Well, knowed it was some kind OF
garden truck. "-zeras Siftings.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-02-23
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

| Poplar wood in considerable quan.
titles is being shipped from Rockbridge
County, Virginia, to Philadelphia, at
$40 per cord, to be converted into pa
per.
Experiments now make it appear
| that not only do iron and silver possess
the property of retaining large amounts
of gas for an indefinite period, but that
this is also the case with aluminium and
magnesium.
I'm Seeking for substance which
would destroy the microscopic animals
in water without injuring it for drinking
purposes, DIR. Langfeldt found that
citric acid (one-haf gramme to every
itre of the water) killed all the living
organisms, except cyclops and those
with thick epidermis, within two min
utes.
Mr.. Underhill, q wellknown New
York stenographer of inventive genius,
has contrived a theater seat that. with
up, fall down and become a part of the
floor. They can be instantly folded in
case of fire, or to clear the floor for
dancing, by one man and lever.
The most durable article of belt
lacing, it appears, may be made as fol-
lows: A dry, untanned horsehide is
soaked in water until soft enough to cut,
and then cut into strings; these are
made soft and pliable for sewing by
s'sawing' them over a square cornered
iron, and the belt is then sewed with
the hair side inward the first time across,
and outward on the finish, so that the
hair takes ali the wear. After the string
has dried it is as solid as any hooks.
The Scientific Amertcap says that
the prejudice against American hem
lock-tanned leather has disappeared,
excellent qualities. Its capabilities for
resisting water and withstanding wear
by attrition in the soles of boots and
shoes are said to be quite equal to those
of the best English sole-leather, and
greatly superior to the leather of En-
glish "mixed" tannages or the gener-
ally poor sole-leather made on the Con-
tinent of Europe.
"A German named Schmidt has
patented school slate which consists
essentially of stiff piece of white
cardboard covered with artificial or pa
per parchment prepared by the action
of sulphuric acid upon unsized paper.
They are set in the ordinary wooden
frame, and furnish cheap and indie.
structible slate. The ordinary size sells
for 80 pfennings G 1-2c) He also
makes peculiar kind of ink for use
with these states, called s'children's
ink'' (Kindertinte). 1t is made of harm
less mineral colors and solution, of
dextrine, and has an advantage over
ink, that the blots which chill
dren are sure to make can be easily
washed out with cold water. The same
slate can also be used to write on with
ordinary ink or lead-pencil, and both
washed off with an ordinary sponge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-02-23
a MN OF METTLE.

a man OF mettle should be lead,
nnu nave, OF coure, a bullet head.
ne should have " BRASS and lots of "tin,"
ana with magnetic chances win.
N man OF mettle should be tough
Nun lace well brcnzed by weather rough
III nSure should be why. and
rive penny nails should tacks each hand.
man OF mettle should be strong;
anu qnlck re fuse to do a wrong;
ohould have Il mind that naught can dent
anu a mereurial temperament
a man or mettle should have weight,
ne should be steeled to sorrows great;
Iola locks and silver tongue his choice,
ana likewise a metallic voice.
a man of mettle should attract;
Rave IRON sinews for a fact;
Anu ms zine wiring mind should show
nalne of knowledge he would know.
a man of mettle should not break,
ana II he ''antes" for a stake,
lie should have antimony though
+ or this old nickel catch him, oh,
\ man OF mettle who is shot
reels it next day an ore full lot:
ANA no one can dis pewter fault
Like this Will make his head cobalt.
Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-02-23
PITH AND POINT.

The best cure for far-sightedness is
to overlook the faults of your friend
Baltimore Ecery Saturday.
The home paper having said, "Great
credit is due Mr.. Smith," etc., Smith
showed the paragraph to his grocer.
There is story told of fine old
Cornish squire who only drank brandy
on two occasions-wnen he had goose
for dinner and when he had not.
The Government has accepted for
the use of our alleged navy the clay
Haight torpedo" We Haight to make
the pun, but it is hoped the machine
will effectually Lay out all invaders
Norristown Herald.
"A young lady who graduated from
the Lawrence High School last July is
teaching school up in New Hampshire.
A bashful young gentleman visited the
school the other day, and was asked by
the teacher to say few words to the
pupils. This was his speech: "Scholars,
I hope you will always love your school
and your teacher as much as / do,
Tableau, giggling girls and boys and d,
blushing schoolma 'am-LoaOeU Courier |.
"A correspondent writes to us to
know which in our judgment is the safest
seat in case of railroad collision, as
he wishes to settle controversy with
some friends. From a long and painful
study in this matter, and calling to our
aid ripe experience, we would say
without fear of successful denial that the
safest seat in case of railroad collision
is the top rail of reliable fence about
four miles in northeasterly direction
from the collision.-Laranaie Boomer
ang. 1E~
Since the late disaster on the Hud-
son River Railroad passengers all crowd
into the front cars, refusing to ride in
the rear car. The Buffalo Express says
that the companies will probably leave
off that car entirely. The same man
who invented process for giving every
advertiser place at the top of the col
umn on the outside page Of newspa-
per will give his attention to this new
problem.
Question in French journal:
"When lady receives visit from a
gentleman, ought she to rise or remain
seated when the visitor enters and when
he takes his leave?" If the lady lives in
Washington, says an American paper,
she will rise without regard to Partisan
etiquette and accompany him as far as
the hall, to see that he doesn't carry off
ten-dollar ivory handled umbrella in
place of the dollar-and-a-half cotton one
usually carried by visitors.