The Evening critic., 1882-02-13
who G6t the worst of II.

There's man stealing bag of flour out
SIDE" said pretty young woman in great
excitement to the stout, placid, healthy
looking grocer who was selling her pack
age of starch in his store near the uptown
end of Second avenue.
"Vos dot so?" said the grocer, dropping
the starch and rolling around toward the
door. He would probably have walked or
run If his anatomical construction had been
different. AS it was he did not literally
roll, but that word seems more appropriate
than any other.
When he had reached the door he
stopped.
stopped in the doorway and looked around.
HE went around the corner" said the
young woman.
Call policeman" suggested the re-
porter, who happened to be in the store. 1t
is unnecessary to explain that the presence
of the pretty young woman had nothing to
do with the presence of the reporter, who
was buying an apple.
"Ya-ah," said the grocer. "Und call
me Elm policeman if dot man he vos Elm
Battery at shoost SO kavicker as dot bolice-
man he wouldn't be here"
"But your flour is gone,' said the re-
porter.
"Yah.ah Dot vlour. Dot man he vos
bake shingles und clapboards dot vlour Of"
And the grocer laughed as only very large
man can laugh, while the reporter looked
on with 'astonishment, not unmingled with
doubt as to whether he ought not to call a
policeman for his own protection.
Il vos lose me drei vier pags dot vlour of
already. Uud dinks me dot schoundrel
he vos took 'em all. But he vos got
genucht. He didn't come no more by mein
shtore fur dot vlour." And again his
mighty cOrpor0sity was convulsed.
What did you do to the four?" asked
the reporter with visions of an impending
tragedy by mysterious poisoning floating
in his mind.
"You vos dinks dot vos vlour? So? I
dinks me dot schoundrel he vos dinks dot
too. So helup mein kracious, how he vos
had been fooled already. Dot vos saw
dust |"
1t is impossible by any arrangement OF
| type to do justice to the JUNCTION with
which the last word was pronounced, or by
the most graphic description to convey any
notion of the merriment that possessed the
A little inquiry served to in.
form the reporter that this particular
who had suffered recently from
sneak thieves, and that on somebody's sug-
| gestion several grocers had put out "de.
coys' OF sawdust similar to the one that had
just been conveyed" from the front of the
plethoric grocer's store.
A reporter who cannot get the whole of a
story is totally unfit for his high calling.
and it remained to discover what became OF
the bag of sawdust. An intimate know
ledge ofall the haunts of vice in the neigh.
borhood enabled him to "spot" the locality
most likely to harbor the thief, and the
judicious expenditure of quarter procured
the services of an astute small boy to ''pipe
off de gang"
Next day the small boy was jubilant. De
grocer fought he was a playin' it mighty
low down, didn't her" said he. "Well
Shiney Mick played for sucker de worst
you ever see. DE sawdust man wot comes
wild big wagon to peddle sawdust, he
come around yesterday, an Shiney Mick
he give him de Office not to go to Schnapps.
Dis mornin' early Shiney Mick he borried
a wheelbarry an dumped de bag O. saw
dust out an wheeled it round by Schnapps
door. An Schnapps. he hadn't any saw
dust to put on his floor, and he give Shiney
Mick ten cents for his own sawdust."
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