Arizona weekly citizen., 1882-05-21
BREYITIES.

Invisible green is the fashionable color for young men with bottle noses.
 Whenever judgment is given, some persons wonder what the iudge meant.
 The laws of nature are about the only laws which preserve themselves un- broken.
 The bootiack was first used as an of- fensive weapon in the time of Caroline, the conspirator.
 When a barber charges too much for cutting hair IS it proper to call It cheat ing at the polls? The Troy laundry vas established B. C.. lly5; that is Co say. they had Hector and Achilles coiiaring and cufling each other and Helen around there, then
 Proctor having struck a streak of luck m Mars, now proposes to show that the spots m Venus are caused by the size of the hats worn by the fair Veuuses.
 Try newspaper over the chest beneath your vest in extreme cold weather, says FOots monthly. Earth has few ailments which a newspaper will not prevent.
 Calico discovered the movement of |. the contribution box at a camp meeting in 1912 and said: "It does go round:'' for which be was afterwards called a rounder.
 There IS 0 rumor that Mir. Cyrus W. Field has some idea of quitting the land of his birth and attaching himself as misunderstanding to the British ar istocracy.
 Father Taylor, the old Methodist preac Ter, once said Send Emerson Co hell2 Why, he would alter the eli. mate and turn the tide of emigration that way"
 They were talking about grief when one of the party said to another: Did you ever lose dear One2 "No,' was the reply. but staid n Litehfeld one winter"
 In deferenc, to growing prejudice, work on the channel tunnel has been stopped England IS growing as uerv- ous as an old woman alone in a house at night
 The first train over m Iowa railroad bridge smashed it ir. This shows the folly of trying to put bridges together with flour paste. They should be gummed with baDdoliue.
 The town of Belmont, in Waldo eoun- ty, Maine. is without a doctor, lawyer, clergyman, tavern or rum shop, and yet the people enjoy life pretty well, as they've got a number of fighting dogs,
 VIII. vandeTbilt's reply to the Social ists: "I highly appreciate your desire to advance me tO a moro elevated position; but, with my usual modesty, l must de- cline. You can give 1t Co Jay Gould, if you want to-"
 A correspondent of tine Boston Tran script asks: "Was there ever a law in New England fOrbidding man to kiss bis wife on Sunday?' We believe there was such law, but itreferred exclusive ly to the hired girl.
 Mrs. Jesse James says her husband often laughed heartily ut newspapers accounts of his exploits. It must be gratifying to the editors Go hear that tEeir criticims on Jesse's little frOlics did not warp his genial smile.
 "Gem'Ieu. says brother Gardner of he Detroit Limeziln Club, "let us con- timer to try to be angeles; but let us count on wrestin' with satin about fo'ty times a day, an on hein frown Hat on our backs cbery blessed time.
 Somehow, the tornudoes vhooping around the West never take effect in an Indian tribe aui smash the vitals out of a few red fiends. They always pick up- on some LarlworkinS farmer and bust his barn. A tornado is no good any how.
 The young ladies of a sociai club in New A,ab1ml. K, cal themselves the -Buls of Promise Whenever a fellow wants to inSrati1te himself with the girls he put, hIs hand on his heurt and exclaims, Am I not Q man and bDd- ier:'
 Discussion by two politicians -"S0 you are still fixed in yOur aspirations towards the triumph of republIcanismE, ''Ay, ! ann l stand here ? compulsory the obligatory ballOt--in fact, for the regime of complete and absolute Iibertyr
 The paper-pattern fined who calls oE officers fer a few -exchar ges, to be used in bis family for cutting paper patterns. also wants papers Of the lateSs dates. He probably has a notion that the latest style of patterns can only be cut from the latest papers,