The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-12-16
Tait and Yumor,
HIS PA "NISHIATED."

CINNAMON DdTk 10 CHEW.
''Why, yes, of course l am, but what set
you to thinking of that ?" asked the gro
Gerry man, as he went to the desk and
charged the boy s father with half apound
of cinnamon. ia
"Wall, do the goats but when you nj
tiate fresh candidate 2"
''No, of coure not. The goats are cheap
ones that have no life, and we muzzle them,
and put pillows over their heads, SO they
can't hurt anybody, said the grocery man,
as he winked at fellow Odd Fellow, who
was seated on sugar barrel, looking mys-
FERROUS. "But why do you ask?
''Oh, nothin, only wish me and my
chum had muzzled our goat with pillow.
Pa would have enjoyed his becoming
member of our lodge better. You see, pa
had been telling us how much good the
Masons and Odd Fellers did, and said we
ought to try and grow up good SO we could
jine the lodges when we got big, and L
asked pa if it would do any hurt for us to
have play lodge in my room, and purtend
to nishiate, and pa said it wouldn't do any
hurt He said it would improve our minds,
and learn us to be men. So my chum and
me borried goat that lives in a livery
stable. Say, did you know they keep a
goat in livery stable so the horses won't
get sick? They get used to the smell OF
the goat, and after that nothing can make
them sick but glue factory. | wish my
girl boarded in livery stable, then she
would get used to the smell. Iwent home
with her from church Sunday night, and
the smell of the goat on my clothes made
her sick to her stummick, and she acted
lust like an excursion on the lake, and said
if didn't 90 and bury myself and take the
smell out of me she wouldn t never 60 with
me again. She was just as pale as ghost,
and the perspiration on her lip was just zlf
she had been hit by street sprinkler.
You see my chum and me had to carry the
goat up to my room when pa and ma was
out riding, and he blated so we had to tie
a handkerchief around his nose, and his
feet made such noise on the floor that we
put some baby socks on his feet Gosh
how frowy goat smells, don't it2 Ishould
think YOU Masons must have strong STUN
mix. Why don't you have a skunk or
mule for trade mark Take mule, and
annoint it with limburg cheese and you
could nishiate and make candidate smell
lust as bad as with gosh darned mildewed
goat. Well, sir, my chum and ME practiced
with that goat until he could but picture
of a goat every time. We borried buck
beer SIGN from saloon man, and hung it
ON the back of chair. That night pa
wanted to know what we were doing up In
nv room, and told him we were playing
lodge, and improving our minds, and pa
said that was right, there was nothing that
did BOYS of our age half so much good as
to initiate men, and store by useful mol
lidge. Then my chum asked pa if he didn't
want to come up and take the grand bum
per degree, and pa laffed and said he didn't
care if he did, just to encourage us boys in
innocent pastime, that was so improving to
our intellex. We had shut the goat up in
a closet in nv room, and he had got over
blating. so we took off the handkerchief,
and he was eating some of my paper collars
and skate straps We went up stairs, and
told pa to come up pretty soon and give
three distinct raps, and when we asked him
who comes there he must say: "a plgarlc
who wants to join your ancient order and
ride the goat Ma wanted to come up
too, but we told her if she came in it would
break up the lodge, cause woman cant
keep a secret, and we didn't have any side
saddle for the goat. Say,i you never tried
it. the next time you nishiate man in
your Mason's lodge, you sprinkle little
iyan pepper on the goats beard just atore
Won turn him loose You can get three
times as much fun to the square inch OF
goat. You wouldn't think it was the same
goat. Well, we got all fixed and pa raped,
and we let him in and told him he must be
b.indfolded, and he got on his knees LAT
fng, and tied towel around his eyes,
and then turned him around and made
him get down on his hands also, and then
his back was right towards the closet door,
and put the buck beer sign right against
mas clothes. He was lafing all the time,
and said we boys were full of fun as they
made em, and we told him twas solemn
occasion, and we wouldn't permit no levity
and if he didn't stop lafing we couldn !
give him the grand bumper degree. Then
everything was ready, and my chum had
his hand on the closet door, and some kyan
pepper in his other hand, and / asked pa
in low bass tones if he felt as though he
wanted to turn back, or if he had nerve
enough to 90 ahead and take the degree
I warned him that it was full of dangers
as the goat was loaded for bear, and told
him he yet had time to retrace his steps
if he wanted to. He said he wanted the
whole bizness, and we could go ahead with
the menagerie Then [ said to pa that II
he had decided to 90 ahead, and not blame
us for the consequences, to repeat after me
the following: "Bring forth the Roya
Bumper, and let him Bump y Pa repeat
ed the words, and my chum sprlnkled the
kyan pepper on the goats moustache, and
he sneezed once and looked sassy, and theI
he see the lager beer goat raring up, anc
he started for it, just like cow catcher
and plated. Pa is real fat, but he knew
he had got hit and he grunted, and said
"Hells-fre, what you boys doin'? and then
the goat gave him another degree, and ps
pulled off the towel and got up and started
for the stairs, and so did the goat, and me-
was at the bottom of the stairs listening
and when / looked over the banisters ps
and ma and the goat were all in heap
and pa was yelling murder, and ma was
screaming fire, and the goat was blating
and sneezing and bunting, and the hired
girl came into the hall and the goat tool
after her and she crossed herself just as the
goat struck her and said, 'Howly mother
protect me' and went down stairs the way
we boys slide down hill, with both hands
on herself, and the goat rared up and blat
ed, and pa and ma went into their room
and shut the door, and then my chum ane
me opened the front door and drove thu
goat out. The minister, who comes to se'
ma every three times week, was just ring
ing the bell and the goat thought he want
ed to be nishiated, too, and gave him one