The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1882-02-23
\. COMBINATION HUMORIsT.
Who Gives a Synopsis OF the Style
of Humorous Writer'S.

of Humorous Writer'S.
Say, doyou want a joke ?" asked a ma
entering the Gazette office.
IF you see the advertising man you cal
probably dispose of it,
ssNow you are trying to insult me
Probably you don'tl1now who | am. / an
remarkable man in disguise. am the all
thor of the Spoopendyke papers, whicl
you have no doubt seen in the Byoohzy,
Eagle.
Thought that work was done by Stan
ley Huntley.o
'No, sir; Stanley Huntley is my nom dt
pIanae. Wait till give you an Imitation
OF myself and seating himself and re-
heeting for moment he began:
!" My DEAR said Mr.. Spoopendyke. we
have received an invitation to visit Christ
mas tree over at Col. Clay's resideuce.'
"-'Ain't that too sweet, replied Mrs.
spoopendyke. I always did enjoy Christ
mas trees, and once when girl went out
into the country with my cousin and roam
ed around the woods looking for Christ
mas trees
"Ye did, did ye; you thought that the
dodgasted things grew up and blossomed
presents, did ye? Thought that wax tapers
grew like leaves, did ye? All you want is
ten cents worth of common bark and a
wooden top to be a grove. Think I'm 60
ing to take such woman among intelli-
gent people All you want is to lace tight
to be campaign pole. Take me for dod-
gasted, measly birch rod ?''
How'll that do? Now don't YOU think
That wrote these papers p, said the visit
or, with the air Of a conqueror?
You have established your identity,''
the scribe.
And that amt all,'' continued the hu-
morist II do the humorous writing for
che Detroit Free Pyess.'
Thought that Charles Lewis was the
Free Press man.
mo doubt you thought so. Light-mind-
I'd men are liable to think anything. Lewis
or NJ. Quad is another one of nv 9lo7us de
2lN1ee. I'll illustrate.''
6" The other evening, on a Woodward
avenue car, a sad faced man sat holding an
oyster can between his knees.
Going to have an oyster stew 20 asked
req eyed man sitting just opposite.
sesFry?'
stNo.''
aBroil?''
ssNo, No."
What are you going to have?'
I'm going to have the liveiiest circus
With my wife when / get home you ever
aW, and closing his right eye the sad
aeed man got.of the car.
How does that strike you'' asked the
umorist, with another expression sug-
estive Of a Vanqulsher.
Another establishment Of identity,n ac-
noWledged the scribe.
Il am also Bill Nye.''
IVY lfliam, [ am glad to meet vou.'' ~
'sDo not address me as William until 7
roduce my credentials.
1--WE do not believe that any man has a
ght to chew our name. Our constitution
,rblds such familiarity. We are senti-
lental' When hope and fear dance with
tntastlc tiptoe on our broad boom filled /
lth generous throbs, we do not think that
le moon~eyed editor of another sheet has
right to slip out amouthful of our ear.
The scribe fell from his chair, but was I
tied to his seat by the kind-hearted hui
orist. !
oW you can call me William
: " 1lliam," /" whispered the scribe, and
milling under alot of papers, he drew
1t bottle and refreshed himsef.
my name is Alex. Sweet, sir, and |
rite the humorous stuff for the Texas
filings. Listen.
- Uncle Mace was met on Austin
enue yesterday by Jim Webster, who
id:
Uncle Mace, da tell me det yer's got
s1nartest three-year old boy in Austin !
: DE man what informed yer stated a
ck.'
= What ebidence has yer OBJ dat fack?'
: Why, sab, Gle udder day aehieken
N into my yard, an de boy begin ter
ase him wild instinck dat shows what
IN he's. gWine ter be.'' v
Alex. I am glad to meet you. We have
sympathy in private manu-
'ipt, and now that we meet the occasion
one of excessive joy. Is this the extent :
your literary wardrobe? II
No, sir; 7 am Eugene Field, the. man
10 writes primer for the Denver Tfibaae. ]
{ wait. don't ask any man to take nv !
rd:
Here We Have a Boy and Dog.
e Dog Has q Big Mouth and the Boys :,
'uth for Jam is Correspondingly Large. :
Il the Boy Pull the Dogs Tail? Yes.
VIII Pull His Tail. Will He Pull it =
ice? No, He VIII not Pull it Twice. -
What else are you?''
I am numerous others. I am George
Childs, Of the Philadelphia ELeaqer. d
ten:
My dog Is dead, said Nancy Carey,
Come write to-day her bitchuary.
Gone to meet old Towser.,''
! heavy fall attracted the attention of
TEEE