St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-11
Another War.
Pure Fun in New York Times. ]

The troubles of England are endless
| In the midst of her war with the Irish
Land League, she cOntrived to get in
to Il war with Egypt, and no sooner is
the latter war begun than she finds
herself on the eve of a war with NJ. De
Lesseps. We need not wonder that
Mr.. Bright thought it prudent to an
nOunce that he would not play any
more, and that Mr.. Gladstone feels Sc
riously i'll. Ireland and Egypt togeth-
er are quite enough to tax the re-
sources of the British Empire, and now
that NJ. De Lesseps has resolved to
fight, the future of England looks dark
indeed.
NJ. De Lesseps, who appears to have
much the same feeling as to his own
Importance as the various members of
the illustrious Field family have as to
their importance, has forbidden Eng
land to land troops for the protection
of the Suez canal. He intends to pro
tect it himself, and calls the universe
to witness that the British shall land
only over his dead body. There is no
possibility of mistaking his meaning.
He is resolved to repel British invasion
ut any cost, and his defiance of Eng
land compels her to appeal to arms to
protect her interests and to suppress
Nj. DE Lesseps.
We may assume that England will
not formally declare war against NJ.
De Lesseps. She has not declared war
against Arab Bey, but has taken the
ground that he is rebel against the
Turkish Government, and that hence
he must be put down by British troops.
In like manner Mr.. Gladstone will
doubtless assert that NJ. De Lesseps is
Il rebel against, say, the Sandwich Is
lands Government, and that the inter
eSts of humanity require that England
should promote the etfusiOn of blood
by attacking and dispensing NJ. De
Lesseps without delay. Still, no mat
ter what the operation may he called,
the suppression of NJ. De Lesseps will
be as much an act of war as the bonn
bardment of Alexandria, and humani
ty will shudder to Il greater or less eX-
tent when the bloody and terrible trag-
edy begins.
1t will probably begin by the bonn
bardment of NJ. De Lcsseps by the
British fleet. Now that he has deter
mined to oppose the landing of British
troops, he is doubtless concentrating
himself at Port Said or perhaps Is
MALTA and mounting himself with
heavy ordnance. The British Admi-
raj, following the precedent of the at
tack on Alexandria, will order NJ. De
Lesseps to dismantle himself and cease
to threaten the safety of the British
| fleet. The gallant Frenchman will re-
fuse to accede to this demand, and
thereupon the feet will open fire.
The result of this bOmbardment will
depend upon the calibre of the guns
with which NJ. De Lesseps is mounted
and the steadiness with which he
stands to them. 1t is, however, only
too probable that his guns are no heav-
ier than those placed by Arabi in the
forts at Alexandria. In that ease he
will speedily be silenced by the supe-
rior artillery of the fleet, his guns will
be dismOunted, his magazines blown
up, and he will be forced to withdraw
after having sustained heavy losses.
VIII he become Il straggler to any
extent, and plumber Port Said while he
is retreatingP This is contingency Y
for which, of course, the British Gov
ernment will make no provision. Ii
NJ. De LesSepS chooses to break into
the shops of Port Said, to fill his pOck-
cts with cigarettes and chocolate, t.
set fire to the town, and to massacre
every European that ventures under
the nose of his donkey, there will b,
no help for it, and we can only hop,
that the infuriated and demOralized
Frenchman will conduct himself better
than did the Egyptians after the bonn.
ha nf Alavaul,.io
Falling back into the interior of tn,
country, NJ. De Lesseps will probably
fOrtify himself with Il sand-bag anC
wait to be attacked by British infantry
Doubtless, in order to raise his courage
he will issue a bulletin to himself in
, forming himself that he has repulseC
the fleet and sunk four or five iron
clads. With a view to the protection
of the Suez canal, he will blockade i
by throwing few spadefuls of sanC
: into it, and will cut the fresh waite
canal so as to flood the country Mean
while the British Government will pre-
pare to send an army corps agains
him, and will urge the King of til,
Sandwich Islands to declare that VI
| De LesSeps is Il rebel, and to abstain
} from sending any troops against him.
1t may be imagined that NJ. De Les
, seps cannot, single-handed, withstand
the attack of ten or fifteen thousan,
English soldiers. 1t must be remem
bered, however, that unless he mutt
= nies against himself, or shows uneX
pccted cowardice, he will make des
: perate resistance. If he is attacked il
front he will defend his sand-bag t,
the last gasp, but suppose a stron;
force attacks him at the same time ol
: the left coat-tail, or on the back of tn
, head? With all lis bravery he coul,
hardly repel such an attack, and al
l though he would intlict fearful losse
f upon the enemy he would finally b
+ overwhelmed.
. NJ. De LeSseps' wisest course vii
he to avoid pitched battle, and to re
treat slowly into the desert, drawin
; the British after him. Unincumbere,
f by any baggage except, perhaps,
, spare shirt, and mounted upon "A came
= with half a.dozen stOmachs full of wa
ter, he can Outmarch the British an
t lure them on to perish of thirst an
; heat. Then, after Great Britain ha
5 exhausted herself in the vain struggl
. to overtake and suppress him, he ca
a make peace upon honorable tenn,
j and, reOpening the canal, can sit in
comfortable lock-hOuse and levy to
on passing vessels. England has nev
f er yet gone to war with an adversar
i so dangerous as NJ. De Lesseps, and
he only pursue more Fabian pOlicy
n he will be able TO hold himself togetl
. er and to finally triumph gloriOusl
over his enemies.
It SHOT FOR OBEDIENCE.-The Russia
: proverb, ''Near the czar, close
# DEATH had singular fulfillment T,