Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-05-18


-
1i.fa;T The Trials Of Being o. HIN. f's9
Ohs yes, we can see that the other
rand stronger sex have their triais!i II
isaisolemn responsibility to be d man!
+ Men have a greet deal #tO contend
with; from the time'iwhe,i they get
into their first pair Of pants up to the
historical epoch when they strike iout
orthat cro~ning gglory-amonstache!
-uWhen they Are boys, they have to
learn various things which never oh.
thdeluponl the thoughts Of the other
"A boy must learn how TO swap
iaek-knives with the other boys and
always get the best end Of the bar-
gain. He must learn to chew gum
so that the schoolmaster won't find it
out. He must learn to go n,swim-
ming and come out with his hair sirys
SO that his mother and his Aant
Peggy, who believe all swimmers
foredoomed to death by, drowning,
viii not. mistrust that he hes been
near the water. g5 - 9. .susa ..-
1 He must know just when Squire
Jones, who owns the peach orchard,
is away to temperance meeting, so as
not to get caught while climbing the
wall after Irase-npes. He must know
just how a colt kicks ont, SO as, to
steer Of its hind legs, when he ties q
tin kettle to its tail. Il He mast learn
how to open the breaking dtor of the
paternal domicile, so that ii; will make
! no noise to waken the suspicious old
folks when he returns, about mid
night, from a raid on old Grimsby's
watermelon patch; or, later on in life,
when he comes home from "seeing
his girl" F" --ell -&:"-'''+.A
| AS he gets along upon the threshold
of manhood, new troubles set in. He
4 wants whiskers like his Brother JOS.
His moustaehe is liable to lie reddish
and his whiskers brown, SO that they
don't match up to suit him. Some.
thing has got to be done so he dyes
/ for it, and the dye spatters over his
face, and he scrubs the skin off, and
still the dye holds fast. 1t is war.
ranted fast colOrs. tfs@ ='''.
generally happens that some Other
fellow wants the very girl lie wants
How unhappy he makes himself ovel
that insignificant circumstance! as il
one girl were not as good as another
He sighs, and refuses beans and beef
steak, and everything solid, and writes
sonnets on AGrief, and '.Blightet
Hopes" and "Severed Hearts," TO
the course of two or three weeks, ant
then falls in love with the favorit,
ballet-dancer OF the season, an,
Ispends half his allowance in bouquets
A man, If he lives in these Unite'
States, must, at some time Of his life
lrun for Office. He fails to fulfill hi
destiny if ne does not. 1t is a sacre'
duty he owes to his country, Fo
there never yet was a man lived VIII
did not, privately, indulge the opinio
that he would make a lille bette
President than any other man.
From the time a man casts his frs
vote he feels that the destiny of hi
; native land rests upon the way b
votes! And he feels that IL his part
J be defeated, everlasting destructio
will come upon the reppblic! Br
: Everybody lives through it a goo
many times, and things wsg on th
g same as ever! Which proves tn.
even man may be mistaken.
A married man has got to get use
:, :, to domestic squalls. They will gatht
y in the best regulated families, and /
, will have to learn to calmly hear hin
self called "brute" and a ''hart
, hearted wretch, and to hear his vii
:. declare that ''if it was the last wor
,.dshe had to speak, she wished she ha
- never set eyes on him! So there"
He has to bear being teased sem
y annually for new bonnet, and mope
to buy things for the children
and every two or three years there
a carpet wanted, for "Mrs., Van Kror
has gotsueh an elegant new Brussels
;, And he must Shell out, literally I,
" Christmas-gifts, and receive, for h
share of the spoils, pair Of workt
- slippers, three sizes too small for hin
with green dogs on the toes and bl,
- rabbits on the heels.
=. There are great many things
!, mustn't do.
Il He mustn't smoke. in the parlo
= nor lean his head against the wa
tpaper, nor sit against the tides, n
,e Irock on the carpet, nor drive Il
ar poodle out of the chair which th'
!. fboth fancy-nor turn music for t
81 pretty cousin from the city, nor bril-
n friends home to dinner, nor go roul
~ tthe house in his stocking feet, n
I'd leave hairs in the comb, nor put |
It. backing brush on the bed, nor gru1
ut BILE, over the, fish-chowder three da
IT, running-''to use up the fsh"-n
ed growl when his mother-irl-law, a
re her parrot, and two cats, and a ban
u box, and three hair-trunks, comes
n spend the winter. -...t.~ >. :,
hs He must be willingto do the chore
te ito get up and make the fire in I
n ,norninfr tn hrinO tho yrafer washiu