Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-08-23
SPICE AND ALLSPICE,

FROM the German-a glass of beer
Puck
The Khedive Kerhummixed " is the
heading an Arkansas journal gives to
news from Egypt.
WHEN mans feelings are so great
that he cannot express them, had he
better send them by freight ?-Derry
NeaOs.
WHAT is the difference between the
leader OF an orchestra and hook ready
for fishing? One has a baton and the
other has bait on.
STOVES are supposed to be somewhat
modern invention, but the Egyptians
were warmed by Alexander the CRATE
B. @. 800.
WHEN might a railroad engine and
detective be said to resemble each other?
When they both are on the track. -Bos-
ton Traveller.
The spectacle of a lot Of bald-beaded
men in bathing is said to resemble an
animated game of billiards. -PhjiGdeL-
21hi0 ChrOndcte-HeraId
"No," said the art-patron 1nusingly,
as he laid down the inchthyopbagoustic
menu, 81 don't care for blue-fsh to- day:
suppose you give me a bass-relief."
NARRAGANsETT PIER boasts of a re-
markable number OF pretty girl babies.
We have engaged board at Narragansett
for the summer of 99.-PhiLUdegphi0
NeGOs.
' No vehicle drawn by more than one
animal is allowed to cross this bridge
In opposite directions at the same time"
Tu q 4O1 l.,
dence.
F'DO YOU own this fence ?" savagely
inquired farmer of tramp who was
hanging over the structure. "No, I
don't own it, )" grinned the nomad, " but
I've got lean on it.
ARABI BEY has been confscating all
the horses he can lay his hands on. This
is the first intimation we have had that
Arab was trying to establish a stable
government.-TeT08 Strings.
AN Iowa farmer bid off a soda foun-
tain at auction, took it home and filed
the reservoir with iee-water, and now
wants to sue somebody because he can't
get fzz to it.-DetrO5t Free Press.
ARCHBISHOP WHATEnY was one day
asked if he rose early. He replied that
once he did, but he was SO proud all the
and so sleepy all the afternoon
that he determined never to do it again.
MARY: go, mem, I'm so glad I met
you! I've been, and posted my prayer
book instead of your letter. Can I tell
them they shan't have the letter until
they give me my prayer-book back ?"-
MoonsKi2ae.
A NORTH CAROLINA man fired six
shots from his revolver at a stranger sit
ting on the fence fourteen feet away.
Then the stranger slid down with the re-
mark: Gland alive but why don't you
throw Logo
A from Cincinnatah
Kept on growing fat and fattah,
Though she dieted battah
For yeah.
In vain she tried to scattah
All the adiposal mattah,
Till the doctor said she'd bettah
Stop her bean.
Baltimore American.
The father of an elderly damsel to
young man: son the day
that [ give you my daughter Adele
will deposit 100000 francs with NJ.
Laftte." Francois: "Thanks, dear SIR,
but suppose you give me the 100000
francs and deposit Mile. Adele with NJ.
Laftte. '-Qudz.
SOME fellow can get a job of hauling
by calling at this Office. We want to
send load of Irish potatoes to the saw
mill and have them sawed into smaller
pieces SO as to get them into the kettle
to cook. This was not written for joke
specially, but to give you an idea of the
size of the Eaters. Cummings, Ga,
Gazette.
THERE is said to be woman in Phila-
delphia who aspires to command an ex-
petition to the north pole, and she
should be allowed to go. The best way
TO find the pole is to put 81, 500 pair
Of diamond earrings and $500 sealskin
sacque on the top Of it, and give all the
who want to go sailing charts
Inter- Ocean.
The doctors tell us we should eat less
beef and more fish. If the price of beef
keeps on going heavenward, we will be
to live on few of the broiled
les the boys bring home, because that
back. People would eat more fish if
County (Go.) Times.
$50 YOU'VE weaned the baby % said
ady to her next door neighbOr. /" Yes,
[ did that some time ago. Why?" The
luerist stepped out on the front porch
as she replied, "Well, Judging from the
slapping noise I heard last night, L
knew you were bringing him up by
hand p The door closed with bang
that could have been heard over in the
next county.
A LITTLE girl in the church at Ash
land, Vs., has been one of a band OF
workers to raise money to complete their
church building. She had earned by
her own work a considerable sum for a
child, when friend heard her express
desire to own canary bird. 1t was
suggested to her that she could easily
purchare one from her own purse.
''Oh !" she replied, can't get thing
for myself while have that church on
chnr1l dars ~