The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1882-11-02
Kentucky Mules.


tucky mules was shipped from this port
to Alexandria,. These mules were os.
tensbly intended for the use of the Brit
ism army in Egypt. Short-sighted peo-
pie imagined that Sir Garnet wanted the
mules for his transportation service and
ms batteries, but moments reflection
VIII convince any one that this could
not have been the case. Sir Garnet had
announced his intention of finishing the
war not later than the 18th of Septem-
Der, and, rs we all know, he has kept
his word. Why, then, should he have
ordered mules TO be sent to him to draw
either his bagTaGe-wagons or his artil-
lery, when he knew that the animals
could not reach Egypt until after the
end of the war, and why should he send
to America for draft mules when, as the
event has proved, he had all the beasts
OF burden that he needed?
Furthermore, the British General is
an Intelligent and well-rcad man, and
he would never dream of employing
Kentucky mtles In connection with bat
terie4. The experiment was tried DUR
ing Our 6ivil war, and with the most
disastrous results. In the rare cases
where battery drawn by mules lasted
long enough to reach q position assigned
to it on the battlefield it never proved
to be OF any service. The mules, the
moment they were detached from the
guns, invariably began an assault upon
the entire battery.
The landing Of the mules at Alcxan-
dria Will unquestionably strike terror to
the Egyptians. Tho former animals
have brooded over the wrongs they have
endured during their confinement on
shipboard, and they will land in more
than usually gloomy and vindictive
frame of mind. The Arab donkey boys
will crowd around them, regarding thera
as o new style of donkey, and the plules
will improve the occasion. The 4,OOO
donkey boys will sail simultaneously
through the dir, and the mules, whose
appetite wi II merely have been wlletted
6y the tfif1ing exercise of kicking ten
donkey boys each, will roam through tbs
city ready to take q hand-or rather q
hcel-whenever an opportunity of kick
ing an Egyptian presents itself.
The 400 kentucky mules, under the
guidance of dozen Kentucky mule
drivers, will constitute the force with
which Mr.. Gladstone proposes to hold
Egypt iii sttbieetion. Marching from
place to place throigfiott the country,
they will reduce the Egyptians to Il state
of abject terror. British troops or Brit
ish gendarmes will not be needed, and
the mules will suppress the Chamber of
Notables and check the spirit of nation
ality in the disbanded army with more
efse and certainty than could the entire
Contingent, OF East Indian troops. 1t is
greatly to be hoped, In the interest of
science, that the ttitil8s will be given d
fair chance at one of the pyramids.
There are scientific persons in this cotifl4
try who are ready to bet large odds that
Kentucky mule can kick the largest
pyramid into ruins in less than twenty
four hours, and although the pyramids
otght not to be wantonly destroyed, it
#oHld BE entirely proper to devote one
of them to the ptifpose Of settling the
question whether there is anything on
earth that Il kentucky mule can not
overcome.
No fault can be found by Europe with
the proposed method of occupying
Egypt. Kentucky mules are not open
to the objections which could be urged
against ah 6ctnPatioh Try British troops,
and even nj. de Lesseps, Jealous as he IS
of his international relations, will never
think of finding fault with the landing
of a few hundred alleged draught ami
mails. 1t is the genius of Mr. Gladstone
which has devised this brilliant solution
Of the Egyptian problem, and next to
his paciffcati0h Of Ireland, it will be his
Erhndcst title to Immortal fame.-N. Y.
Times