davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28

30 IA n ANKWV business now before the
w& ID ~ public. You can make
EMJ~ M@@0 - money faster at work
for us than at anything
else. Capital not needed. We will start YOU. $40
a day and upwards made af home by the industri.
Gus. Men. women, boys and girls wanted every
where to work for us. Now is the time. You can
work in spare time only or give your whole time
10 the business. You can live at home and do the
work. No other business will pay you nearly as
we'll. No one can fail TO make enormous pay by
engaging at once. Costlyly Outfit and terms iree.
Money made fast easily and bonoraby. Address
TRUE Co., Augusta, Maine. Ja1yn. A.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28
THE COURTS RELIANCE.


The following joke is related at the ex-
pense Of Judge Jerry Black while he was ar
guing the McGarrahau case before the
Supreme Court in Washington, some years
ago:
One day, while speaking on some motion,
Black discovered, at the close of a two hours
Grafton, that the entire bench, including the
Chief Justice, was sound asleep. Much i'm
censed, he gathered up his papers and left
the room. Meeting the Chief Justice ut a
dinner at Secretary Fish's that evening,
Black angrily commented on the occurrence.
'sWhy my dear judge said Mr.. Chase,
with surprised expression, g thought you
would be the last man on earth to object to
such thing. The fact was that all the
Justices were SO faigued from the Presi-
dents reception last night, that this morning
we consulted together and agreed to hear
you on some such motion or other, SO that
we could all enjoy good, square nap,
We supposed you had been on the bench
for so long that you would know how It was
yourself. "
Ahe ucSii you ufu nteAu thc va'ss Ase'
bottomed legal luminary.
"Yes, but you needn't alarm yourself, my
dear Black The shorthand reporter made a
full memorandum of your remarks.
Did, Ell ?" snapped the Judge. why,
he was asleep, too y
The devil he VAS" exclaimed the CHIEF
Justice, much vexed. 81 always did trusI
that fellow. In that case, my dear Judge
we will have to rely on the janitor
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28


TIE Danny RRaloN THE WEST "A terri.
tory Of about 10000 square miles, including
the whole of Iowa, the north third of Hi
nois and the south quarter Of Wisconsin is,
we are told, to be the great dairying region
Of the world. Farmers there now are said
( to get, upon the average, only about fifty
per cent. Of the value of the grain, the rest
going for transportation but when the
farm is turned to dairying the net receipts
amount to ninety per cent. In 1870 there
was but little butter made in Illinois or the
West, and that little was almost uniformly
OF poor quality Now there is an immense
production there, and Western butter and
cheese command the highest prices In 1881
more than 1000. 900 boxes of cheese and q
proportionate quantity OF butter were sold
in Chicago.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28

Changed his tune: Fogg says that
Sellem is the most fickle-minded man he
ever saw. For the last six months he has
been talking about his fine country house,
with its spacious rooms, grand views and
splendid surroundings and not an out to
it. "Well," says Fogg, twill you believe It,
he told me to-day he had sold it and mighty
glad he was to get rid of the old rattle-trap.
Yes, sir, Sellem is the most changeable man
7 ever saw. "--Bostoa Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28

TERRIBLE TDrNes The Oil City Derrick
says marriage notices are often very appro.
priately published under the head Of
Amusements." Well, sometimes it may
De as jolly as circus, but when the foreman
of Chicago paper got marriage notice
among the items headed "Terrrible III
iings, the editor thought it SO apropos that
he didn't stop the press to make a correc-
lion. Noryist0soas Herald
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28

RCTORY.
City Government

CITY GOcern5HeM.
Mayor lexander II Holcombe.
President of Council--W. 4. Herr.
City Glerk--William H. Hart.
City Socitor-C. A. Skillman.
City Treasurer-Homes ID. Ely.
Tax Receiver-E. H. Holeombe.
CITY surveyor Walter Il. Hayhurst.
Overseer Of the Poor--Charles A. Slack.
Constable-Joseph Il. Bayard.
police-Amos Morgan Warren Cummings, Elisha
Reading
Pound Keeper-Isaac Cevenger.
Members of Common Couneil-John Callan, John
Finney, w. +. Herr, John II. Kilroy, John kearns,
q X. Mellck. J. W. Smith, Ely X. Soliiday, w.
II Wilmot.
dent; William H. Hart, Clerk; Theo. ii. studdi-
ford, NJ D., Andrew J. Scarborough, Ely X. Sol
iiday.
Educational Department.
City Superintendent of Public Schoos-Theo
Studdiiord, NJ. ID.
Clerk Of Board-william II. wilmot.
Members ofBoard-Miehael Know Ian, John Pur-
tell, Hugh Reynolds John II. Roberts oonrtlandt
). Reynolds, II. Sutphin samuel stockton, hieh>
ard Ii. Van Horn, William IL. Winot,
Fire Department.
Chief Engineer-Charles Clarke.
First Assistant E.ngineer-John Behau,
Second Assistant Engineer-Ge0rge w. Trauger.
Board of Engineers
Union Steam Fire Engine Company, No. t.
House, Coryell street, near Union 81,
Hiberna Fire Company No. 2.-House, south
Main street, near Swan.
Fleet Wing Hook and Ladder Company, No. L.
House North Main street, above Bridge
-.0.--
Churches.
Iresbytsridn.
Union and Church streets. Rev. Il A. Studdi-
ford D. D., Pastor Residence near corner
Bridge and Union streets,
BdpfiS.
Bridge street, between Union and Main streets
Rev. w. NJ. Mick. Pastor. Residence, North Main
street, above Deleyan.
Methodist.
Southeast corner OF Union and Jefferson streets.
Rev W C. r.. Strickland Pastor. Residence, SOUTH
west corner of Union and Jefferson streets.
Episcopal.
~ Andrew's.--York street, between Union and
Main streets Rev. 4. n Smith, Pastor. Residence,
Delaware avenue, near George street.
Friends.
Lyceum Hall Parlor
Roman ldthOiic.
St John's.-Corner OF Church and franklin
streets Rev, d. II. Ter Woerl, Pastor Residence,
adjoining the church.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28
TO ADVERTISERS.

Advertisers will find THE RECORD good advertising medium. 1t
cu among the class of people that wanted customers and
the reasonable which be learned upon application the
Office, either personally or by letter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28
AS TO NAPKIN ETIQUETTE.
Why Suinte Beure Fell into Disgrace at the
Court of the Third Napoleon.


The napkin etiquette question has been
discussed by several newspapers lately. It
has been claimed that the guest should leave
his napkin in negligent crumple beside his
plate At hotels and public places he may
do thus, though 'twere better otherwise, or
do anything be pleases with the napkin, ex-
cept put it in his pocket but in a private
house the guest will fold his napkin neatly
by the side of his plate, if he wishes to show
his appreciation of the hostess care and
neatness in arranging the table. A writer
in the modern Athens says it is vulgar to tuck
the corner of a napkin under the chin, and
calls men who practice it unweaned babies
with bibs.
Queen Elizabeth did not use napkins.
She tore the meat with her fingers, and had
hand tub behind her with an ever of
water in which she rinsed her fingers.
Sainte Beure fell into disgrace at the Court
of Napoleon III. because he spread his nap
kin over two knees and cut his egg in the
middle, while he should have used the nap
kin unfolded on one knee, break the end of
the egg, the big end, and drained it with the
tip of the spoon. They cut his acquaintance
after that What would have been the re-
suit if he had drawn and spread on his knees
his pocket handkerchief, as they do at mod
ern picnics? To the g,illotine with him "
would have been dessert for them and just
deserts for him Providence Ja0rnak.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28

the
aim o keep acew g inp II The ar
s of
good work. satisfaction all
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09

bring it up to a Tennesseean's idea
OF what is a first class and desira-
BILE farming country. Especially is
this the case in the southern part of
the state-"Italy II America"
down in the midst of the orange
groves and vineyards.
Two or three dry winters have
caused short crops and high prices.
The entire state is crowded with
men out of employment. Wages
are low and employment hard to Sc
cure, whether as a mechanic, clerk
or laborer Misled by the rose col
ored or absolu ely false representa-
tions of railroad or mining monopo
lies or immigration societies, thou
sands Of people have flocked from
the ''states" to that imaginary Edo
RADIO of the west in the hope OF bet
tering their fortunes; but on arri
val they are quickly undeceived and
awake to the realization Of the fact
that they are in a couptrY which
though comparatively new, is over
crowded and over stocked in every
branch of business and every trade
and profession, and at least ten
years ahead of it's resources, and
promising less Of future prosperity
to. the mechanic, the laborer the
clerk, the young professional man
and the small capitalist than the
older states on the Atlantic sea
board and in the Mississippi Valley.
My friend said there were hun
dreds arriving daily in California,
principally from the northern and
eastern states, having broken up
their social and business associa-
tions and gone to the golden (?)I
state under the delusion that they
would there find plenty to do at big
pay. They had been led into this
delusion by the false rep esenta
tiops already alluded to. He says
that for the comforts and amenities
of the present and the hopes of fu-
ture prosperity, Tennessee is a thou
sand times more inviting to any and
all classes of people seeking paying
remuneration for honest effort, than
California with all its boasted
wealth of soil and minerals, He
says Tennessee is good enough for
him, and Iagree with him. Our be-
loved commonwealth is indeed rich
in the natural resources that go to
make up a great state.
OOOAsIoNAI
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
A New Fiber.
Prairie Farmer. |

In some of our southern eX
changes we find mention made of a
new material suited to the manu-
facture Of bagging and rope. The
plant is pretty well known in the
central and southern states as bear
grass, and farther south as the Span
dagger. 1t belongs TO the yucca
family, (which contains about a dozen
varieties, all stout and tough in leaf
and fiber, and is known as a beauti
full and abundant bloomer. In
Kentucky and Tennessee, bear grass
has been used for hanging UP meet
in smoke-houses ever since those
states began to become settled
According to one journal, the yucca
plant, or this variety of it, is omni-
present everywhere in the south be
low forty degrees north latitude,
and if what is claimed for it is true,
it furnishes another important item
in the great resources of that sec
ton of the Union. The fiber is
represented as being as strong as
hemp, and almost as indestructible
as iron, except by fire. Its advant
ages are briefly summed up as fol
lows; The plant grows more than
one hundred years, loses less than
one tenth in cleaning, gives the
strongest coarse kber in the world,
will not shrink when it gets wet in
rope, yields largely, requires no
cultivation after the third year, is
worth ten to fifteen cents per pound
when cleaned, and grows spontaLe
ously everywhere south of thirty
one degrees.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Fellows Who Ought to be Killsa.

Inc lellOW VINO CrOSSeS MS leSS
in a crowded car, and uses the
space in front of him as a cuspadore,
The restaurant fiend who insists
on eating with his knife.
The fellow who asks: "What do
you think of the Guiteau trialP'
The fellow who can't sit next to
a woman without insulting her.
The fellow who can't pass wo-
man in the street without psering in
to her face,
The fellow who tells old stories.
The professional borrower who
never pays-about the meanest of
all fellows.
The fellow who takes another wo-
man to the theater and leaves his
wife at home.
The fellow who sits behind you
on a first night and tells his neigh
hors all the plot of the play.
The fell W who borrows your um
brella lust for minute" and re
turns the handle in a month.
The fellow who goes out between
every act to get a drink and comes
in later after each drink.
The fellow who sits on your
hat in church because you have po
litely made room for him.
The fellow who has just heard "a
good thing"
The fellow who interlards every
word with an oath.
The fellow who smokes bad CT
gars on the front platform or else
where,
The fellow who uses hair oil.
The fellow who has been abroad,
you know.
The girls who ought to be taught
better:
Gainsborough hat girls.
Oscar Wilde girls.
Girls with loud voices.
Girls who talk aloud in threaters
Giggling girls.
Too awtully young girls.
Girls who are only just coming
out.
Girls who are out too long.
Girls of of thirteen, who imagine
themselves eighteen.
Girls of forty odd who imagine
themselves twenty-five and dress
accordingly.
Blue girls.
Vickery- -Vassary girls.
Girls who use slang.
Girls who have cousins to take
them home.
Girls who can't dance.
Girls who can do nothing but
dance.
Girls who hirt with the wrong
fellow.
Girls who Airt with the right
fellow.
Girls who powder and paint.
Scientific girls who wear glasses.
Girls who know grammar too
well.
Girls who know anything too
well.
Girls who like any fellows auto
graph save one.
Girls who can sing or play,
and make fuss over it when asked.
Girls who can neither sing nor
play and are always ready TO be
asked.
Girls who don't know their own
minds.
Girls who do known their own
minds.
Fast girls.
Slow girls.
In fact!
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Hon. Jas. McCallum,

Hon. James McCallum, Of Pulas-
XII, has been an active member of
the Grand Lodge of f. & A. NJ
for nifty years. He was elected
Grand Master during the war. In
1881, when he first came to the
Grand Lodge, James NJ. Hourly was
a member. Mr.. Hourly is the only
living member beside himself that
attended the Grand Lodge that
year. Mr.. Hourly is resident of
Oxford, Miss. Hugh w. Dunlap
was Grand Master at the time.
There are now four persons who
were members Of the Grand Lodge
before that time-Judge r. l.. Ca
ruthcrs, of Lebanon; Col. r. /. Ches-
ter, of Jackson; A. W. johnson, of
Nashville, and -Grainger. Mr..
McCallum is now so years old, and
was so devoted TO Masonry that he
left is sick bed in order to attend
the present session of the Grand
Lodge II American 2d.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09

1t has been asked how predictions
Of the weather are mads from the
goose bone mentioned in the pa
pers. An exchange familiar with
the subject answers the question for
us. The breastbone of a goose
hatched the preceding spring Is ex
amined, and if it presents a translu
cid appearance the winter is expec
tc / to be mild and pleasant. If it
is covered with heavy spots of a
dark color the winter will be cold,
but if there are spots of a light
shade they indicate rainy winter.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Beschsr on Free Trads.

Henry Ward Beecher lecturod IN
Brooklyn Thursday night on free
trade. He said that tho nrotectivo
system in this country was contrary
to good morals, and in the long rur,
would work mischief 1t is a self,
lsh policy, separationg this nation
from the rest of the world, and this
Is contrary to good morals and con
trary to liberty. American com
merce has been well nigh DESTROYED.
ship building is almost an extinct
trade. What has commerce done
that it is obliged to walk in bon
dage to manufacturers All taxa
ton should be direct A revenue
tariff may be borne or tolerated, but
when tariff proposes not only to
raise revenue, hut TO raise it in or
der to protect some special indus
try. that is wrong and mischeivous.
Our tariff excludes many articles
which our people want, and forty
nine millions of our citizens are on
pressed that half milton lahorinp
men may be protected. Protection
at first is q spur to enterprise, but
IN the end it destroys it. The IN.
protected loborers are vastly In the
majority over protected ones. The
blacks in the south, and the agri-
cultural laboreFs in the west are far
too numerous. Only about 100000
laborers have their wages raised by
this so called protection, and these
have TO pay one-third of their wages
for the protection they are said to
be receiving. The whole machinery
of this tariff system is demoralizinS.
At this hour what are protectionists
doingv is there one protected iA
dustry that is willing to let go? Is
there one that will consent to a re-
duction Of tho duty? Not one. They
propose 20 take Off the internal ree
emu" taxes; they propose to take oft
the duty on matches and patent
medicine, and, confNnted along the
whole line with the cry that our
shipping is ruined, they propose to
take the ships into their scheme OF
protection, and they says "Run
your ships; we will pay the expens
es and leave you a little over"
While Great Britain is enjoying a
prosperous trade with South Amer.
lea, we propose to pay Roach for
running q few ships to Brazil
He predicted a triumph OF free
trade in this country.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Saving a Rombshsll.

A bombsheli. supposed TO have
been fired by Union troops during
the war. was encountered in n large
white oak log at q saw mali near
A gusta, Ga, recently. A eircu an
saw 8 going tnrough the piecs oi
timber when il struck a hard sub
stance, which broke rs teeth and
stopped progress. Examination re-
veaied, buried IN the wood TO the
depth OF eighl inches, a large per.
cussion bomhshell, which. accord
ing 20 the calculations OF hose N
miliar with the grQwnth Of ihiner,
bad been there sixteen or seventeen
years, and the tree bad grown over
IT untii there was but slight scar
left. IL was found 70 be loaded.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Piskings From tn. Primsra

The young Man is Reading n
Letter and seems Deeply Agitated
Maybe it is Letter from his.
Sweet Heart, and she has Given
him the Grand Bounce. How his
Breast Heaves and how his Heart
must Throb under his Celluloid
Shirt Front. The Letter is from
His Tailor. Let us not invade the
Secrecy of the poor Young Mans
Grief.
Here we have Greenbacker. He
seems Troubled about something.
He is Troubled about the National
Debt He is Grievlng because the
Country of his Nativity owes one
Billion ID liars. The other Man
around the Corner is a Grocery
Wan. He, too, is troubled, ut he
is not Worrying a out the Nation
al Debt. Oh, no. He is Worrying
about one Dollar and Forty cents
the Grecnbacker owes him.
This is Rceh rchc Affair Rech
erche Affairs are sometimes Net
with in Parlors and Ball Rooms,
but more Generally in the Society
Department Of Newspapers. A
Recherche Affair is an Affair where
the Society Editor is invited TO The
Refreshment Table. When the So
ciety Editor is told his Room is
Better than his Company the, Affair
is not Recherche.
Here is Valise. 1t does not
Weigh Four Hundred Pounds. It
is the Valse Of an Editor. In the
Vahse are Three Socks and Bot
tie and a Book. There is Some
thing in the Bottle. Maybe it is
Arnica for the Editors Sore Finger.
The Book is Baxter's Saints Rest.
The Socks got into the Valise by
Mistake. Perhaps the Bottle will
get into the Edit n by Mistake.
Her we have papa watch. There
is a Fairy in the Watch. Would
you like to Hear her Sing? II you
will drop the Watch on the Floor
the Fairy in the Watch will Sing
the prettiest little Song you ever
Heard, and all the Wheels will buzz
Just as funny as can be. When pa
pa Comes home and finds tho Fairy
has been Singing maybe he will Ask
you to 5 en- out into the Woodshed
with him on Matter Of Blu mess.
This is an Editorial Writer. He
is Writing a Thoughtful Piece
about the Degeneration Of the Age.
He talks about the good OH Times
when Men were manly and Youth
full Breasts were Pregnant with
Chilalry. BY and BY he Will go
Home and Lick his wife for not cut
ting up enough Cord wood for the
kitchen Fire in the Morning, and he
will spit tobacco all over his daugh
ter Esther's new silk gown.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Don't Go West.

To the American.
yesterday met young married
man, a friend of mine, just on bis
return from California where he
went last fall, accompanied by his
wife, with the intention of locating
there permanently; but he soon dis
covered what thousands of others
have discovered upon personal in
vestigation. that California is not
that which it has been; that the
glow of precious gold that was in its
breast, some forty years ago, is seen
no more, even in the "diggin's,"
that erstwhile "panned out the
best: that the almost fabulous
prices of the grain and fruit lands
in the agricultural and horticuitu-
raj sections Of the state. together
with the long dry spells" do not
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1882-02-09
Ry UnIversnI Accord.

Ayers CsShartic Pills are the best Of
all purgatives for family use. They are
the product Of long, laboriOus and sue
cessiul chemical investigation, and their
extensive use by physicians In their
practice, and by all civilized nations,
proves them the best and most efectusl
purgative pill that medical science can
devise. Being purely vegetable no
harm can arise from their use. In in
trinsic value and curative powers no
other pills can be compared with them,
and every person, knowing their vir-
tues, will employ them, when needed
They keep the system In perfect order,
and maintain In healthy action tho
whole machinery Of life. Mild, search
ing and effectual, they are especially
adapted TO the needs Of the digestive APP
pzratus, arrangements Of which thoy
prevent and cure, II timely taken. They
are the best and safest physic 70 employ
TOR children and weakened constitu-
tions, where a mild bpt effectual ca
thSrtic Is required. For sale By all
dealers.