Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1882-05-13
Charlestovn, May G, 1852.
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
VIoLrNcrLLo

Engaged for every set--a hen,
Women invariably fear death-and don't
wonder
The Lowell Courier knows man who
was so slow that he could not get out of his
own way. nf
81 don't like that cat. It's go splinters
in Is fcetw was the excuse of four-year-
old for throwing the kitten away.
Syracuse has a female architect Nor
ristown hasn't female architect, but she
has more than one designing woman.
Fuller has said "IIe that spends all his
lifc in sport is ike one who wears nothing
but fringes and eats nothing but sauces"
Dr. Johnson once, speaking of Quarrel
some fellow, said "Ifhe had two ideas in
his head, they would fall out with each 9TH
er." .,,
Where ore woman scans the hotTilon 10
signs of better dawn 100 are ,oouriag Il
-mong their neighbors trying TO borrows
little Saleratus.
I, is always nice to meet man who is "a.
bic to talk on any subject" SO long as he
does not try to talk on every subject during
the hsli-hour YOU are his company.
The AmcricGn Miller says that on diet Of
bread a man can live on SO a year. Unless
the fellow happens to be a half-bread, in
which case he might get along on s..
A Chicago editor heads an editorial.
Trashy Literature" thus demonstrs ting
that he's good judge of the value Of his
writings
A writer III s.. fGcloia, advises Toys al
ways to breathe through their their nose.
when running. A boy who would breathe
through his ears could not expect to win
race.
We see a bill is introduced in the House
for the relief Of Owen Long. If Congres,
shall aid all who have been Owen Long il
will make lot Of money circulate in the
land.
Tafin, Ohio, has three lady lawyers. the
youngest Of whom is named Sans sho i
one Unclesam's girls, and ifby any chance
she should marry client Of the name Of
David, she would then become one Of the
Sans Of David.
A Philadelphia man says women can't bc
induced to listen while Others talk for any
lcught Of time they want to DO the talking
themselves This is a slandcr on the sex.
Let him trot out 2 first-class scandal see
I If the women'l listen
The Havana cotton crop this year is pro
nounced complete failure. The tobacco
crop in this country last year was also fail
ure-so much so that We are now importing
cabbage from Holland
The editor Of Texas exchange says he
docs not like turkey; that if he can't have
possum to celebrate With, he don't want "a
NJ at all but his ncighbors still continue to
lock up their turkeys after dark. Some peo-
pie don't believe every thing they read ia 2
newspaper The editor can'tPlay "possum"
on them that way.
Tyndalls theory that heat is simply mo-
/ ton in another form, must be true. Strike
2 piece Of iron and It become, hot. Strike
man and he Immediately boils over. There
Is however, one exception to the rule. Strike
warm friend fora short loan and he at once
I t..o,.,-o- 80 coTt A.. o, ;ooT,x<
( A story is told of German shoemaker
who, having made pair Of boots for a gen
tleman of whose financial integrity he had
considerable doubt, made the following re-
ply 10 him when he called for the articles:
| ''Der poots ish not quite done, bat der beel
ish made oud.'
"Pat. this is hishty hard work we're A."
Otis, indade, Jenny but what kind Of
job wud you like ifyou could get -"
"Well, said the other, leaning reAectiyely
on his shovel and wipiDg the Precipitation
from bis brow with the bacz Of his hand
"for nice aisy, clano business, think
would like TO be a bishop"
I A Lowell man hss mOther-in-iaw Of
such { changerable disposition that he says
some days when her good temper is the pre-
yailing quality he thinks enough of her to
wish her in paradise, and the next day is
tempted TO tie her to barrel of nitrogiy-
eerine and wait her to the institution where
the business of "wailing and gDashing Of
teeth" is carried on wholesale