St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-10-13
SquibS.

Is it il runaway match in the insect
OF animal world when you see one ante
lope with anotherg
The cultured no longer call it hash.
Mosaic nutriment is the current form.
- Boston Transcript.
Say, for instance, a dog loses his paw,
and TO Dster loses his NAV, does it
make orphans of them
The most marked difference between
Il rogue and an honest man is that the
former wears the best clothes.
Nothing makes the keeper of a rail
road restaurant more disgusted than to
have one customer ask in Il rather loud
tone of another: ''Have they ever tried
plating war ships with this kind of
sandwiches ~ Boston Post.
An advertisement in western pa
per offers Questionable" piano for
sale. Mrs. Yeast was at loss to know
what fashionable piano really was,
but she has come to the conclusion
that it must be one that is "banged."-
GOnkers Statesman.
"Well," remarked a young NJ. d.,
Just from college, 81 suppose the next
thing will be to hunt good location,
and then wait for something to do, like
Patience on a monument" "Yes,"
said il bystander; "and it won't be
long after you do begin before the
monuments will be on the patients"
An Arkansaw boz, who had been
reading humorous paper, remarked to
his father, who was in the field "crad-
ling" wheat: "Say, pap, why does
your cradle cut unwillinglyP" BE
cause it's dull, reckon" replied the
old man. "No," said the boy, "because
it goes against the grain" y Arkan-
saw Traveller.
"What have you that's good ?" said
hungry traveller, as he seated him
self at table dhGte at IA Salt Lake CITY
hotel. "Oh!" said the waiter, "we've
roast beef, roast mutton, roast pork,
and broiled cmlews." "What's cur.
lewP said the traveller. "Why, "A
bird something Ikea snipe." Gould
it fy?" "Yes!" "Did it have
wings 7" "Yes!" "Then don't
want any curlew. Anything that had
wings and could fly and didn't leave
this country | don't want for my din
nerr
There is IA church in Michigan which
has been struck by lightning IA dozen
times, and now, whenever the preach
er shows signs of getting long winded
and passing from his "seventhly" to an
''eighthly," the Organist slyly initiates
the sound of approaching thunder on
the pedals. The way that preacher
dives into the "conclusiOn" and rushes
through it and starts the doxology is
"A caution. The congregation would
not part with that organist for mil
lion of dollars.
When Penn appeared to receive his
charter, he came into the royal pres
cnce in his usual easy manner, with
his hat on and his hands in his pock-
cts. Charles at once removed his own
hat. "Keep on your hat, young man.
said Penn; "keep on your hat and
people won't know you're bald" 'Its
the custom of this place" the king re
piled, ''for only one person to remain
covered at time" "Then You ought
to have more covers" said Penn. s'It's
Il queer custom but | don't Law my
hat around loose in strange house,
unless | get a check for it. I've travel
ed, have"
One day an old Turkey took IA Walk
| through the Meadow to see how the
| Crops were getting along. Seeing IA
| Hornets Nest by Stone Wall, she
! FOndly Imagined she could Hatch out
the Contents. So she Sat down upon
| 1t, and did Hatch ont the Contents
IN about two Seconds. Five Minutes
later she stood upon bit of Looking
Glass, filed with Humiliation, Run
ming her Bill through her Feathers and
| Attempting to Count the number of
! PerforatiOns in her breast which look
ed very much like Nutmeg Crater
! The Moral of this Fable teaches us
that Squatting on other Peoples Prop
erty is a PerilOus Proceeding; and
/ fhat there are some Humble Institu-
tions which cannot be Sat Upon
| IPuck