The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-03-23
Gbisilrs.

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MAJ Dc IL coEiinnslly siletiae b.
npat % aiAr' people bgsiboss can sas
g. i.o4~pas r,smin nose
uianFt csuuiy TIA has 100 poora
naa aly three psapers They All TAI
uiuitt l.oaflsfs GOT there
laik .hni sIsiling sasd Johnbg
Way. n.y ia bIoiAer can spell sosd
iAsi 81 spell srabs 10 The diei.oaary
THiof 10 Mechanics III body NEE
k'hody Sophomore 10 an underione
Mechanic ally Coming through The rye
burglar entered tho house otl
oosBtfy editor The other night After
terrible struggle the editor succeeded ia
obbing him
Physicians q, 3 loes how 10 relieve !
Ncw York man Who has swallowed tack.
Strange they loat think 70 put CLAW
hammer coat on him
Jay Gould can I find dime 10 shave =
II should 10 said. oat Of justice TO Jay,
that shis paragraph refers solely TO his
face aud uoi 70 speculators
Has your sisier got son or dangh.
teri asked an freshman Of friend up.
on my life, was the reply, Il don't
knos yet whether I'm an uncle or an
aunt
III | ever used any unkind words,
Hannah. said Mr.. Smiley, refectively,
Il take them all back. ''Yes, suppose
you want 10 use them over again, was the
no; very soo,hing reply.
scene-A tailors shop, Customer;
II sant you 10 build a coat as though Id
been square built, 10 tone down this rotund.
iiy Of mine Toilor: Just so, sir; in fact
you want me 10 square the circle
IL the statistics Of drunkenness 10 this
country and England continue 10 indicate
an increase Of the vice. j, might be as well
IN the interests OF truth 10 designate our
par, Of the world in the biographies as the
Incorporate zone.
This butter, Mr. Spicer, said the
dealer, carried of the prize at the farm.
or's fair" and Seth spat out taste Of the
compound, aud remarked, Unless the
prize was ships anchor and chain cable,
should think the butter could have car.
ried 1t OF easily.
Amelia may talk about your
city fellows, but but give me beau from
the country" Juliet -"And why do you
want country bean, | should love TO
hear" Amelia-"B Because, sis, he's very
likely 10 become a husbandmanl"
Professor Doremus says that an ele.
plants milk is 100 per cent, richer in but
ter than the milk Of a Jersey COW But
the drat Of il is that an elephant is 100 per
cent, worse than COW TO milk, having
tail at both ends, TO slosh round in mans
eyes
Thomas Schofeld, aged ninety one
years, walked nine miles TO renew his sub
scription TO New London paper. 1t is
the general impression among publishers
that there are a number Of subscribers
who are waiting until they are ninety -one
years old TO come and pay for their paper.
Adolphus' courage was up. Falling
on his knees he cried ''Angelinc, dear.
est, make me the happiest of men by ac
cepting my heart and hand" Casting
one look at the great paw, Angelina thrill.
ell in every fiber as she replied swee,ly
"Oh, Adolphus, this is more than ] ex-
pected.
Clara Louise Kellogg has postponed
the date Of her marriage one month on &C.
count OF her concert tour. Clara has
something Of the provident instincts OF
Pennsylvania Dutchmau who married a
month or more in advance OF his first in
tention, because, as he expressed it,
the was q rouser at potato digging.
The true inwardness OF horse racing
and other diversions on which money
changes hands may be inferred from the
following They had a terrible time at a
Kentucky horse race recently. The horse
that WAS set down 10 be distaneed, took
the BIZ in bis teeth, in spite Of pulling,
went TO the front aud won. cleaning out
everybody but green old countryman
who had bet on that horse,
No. Young man, i, doesn't hurt you a
particle TO SOW your wild oats. Go head
and SOW as many as You wish; but it's the
gathering in Of the crop that will make
YOU howl And you viii have TO gather it,
too. And you don't il will gather you,
and one is worse than the other. Go on
aud SOW your Wild oats, but keep away
from The office during harvest time.
a countryman climbed out Of wagon
and entered music store, and said he
waited TO buy piece OF music for his son.
'If your son is not far advanced perhaps
this would doy" said the clerk, handing
over a piece VI sheet music How much
does il costg' Fifty cents" well,
that's too easy for him. The last piece !
bought for him cost 70 cents /
reckon be knows enough to play piece
worth q, least sl.25 at least A 80 cent
piece is too low. ! wan, high piece
a Boston man on rainy day seeing
man ahead Of him whom he thought
friend. with silk umbrella hois,ed over
his head. rushed up to him, clapped his