Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-11-01
PLEASANERLES.

ASSA~e~v
An Albany woman woke her husband
during storm and said: g. do wish you
would stop snoring, for want to hear it
thunder"
II Is cruelty to cast your bread upon
the waters II the bread is sour and
heavy. II might give the fishes the
dyspepsia.
WHES the bold Highlander went
counting he tersely introduced himself:
"Ann Saxon, I am Roderick Dhu." Ann
rcplied, "Dhu telil"
IL isn't because woman is exactly
afraid of COW that she runs away and
screams. 1t is because gored dresses
arenot fashionable.
svs2s-ssss q New Orleans man wanted his
picture in an heroic attitude, the artist
painted him in the act OF refusing to
drink. Boston transcript.
YOUNG lady wrote some verses for
pepper about her birthday and headed
them May 30th." 1t almost made her
hair turn gray when it appeared in
print, My Both"
"Yoy don't know how it pains me to
punish YOU" said the teacher. 81
guess there's the most pain at my end
OF the stick, " replied the boy. "'r any
r,to J,5 10 x,-;Itf,,. 4 ,,,,,.
BAILEY says "What men call acct
dents is Gods own Fart, but it is hard
TO convince man of this when he steps
down step that he didn't know was
there and busts pet corn. He thinks it
that other party s part.
"IT's long way from this world to
the next, sa,d dying man to friend
who stood al his bedside. "Oh, never
mind, my dear f,llow," answered the
friend, consolinsy, "youll have it all
down hill"
He ioiteTed 1T the festival,
goblet in his fist.
washy-sssly Gad brimpoi
The marge his iple;s kissed.
Quoth lie, 81 wish that coud get
pair of trousers made
For summer thin this
CoIsumptive lemonade.
Oil Guy Derrick.
"HALLoA Bob, how are you ?" Bob,
who had been i'll Jail Tor debt for some
months past, answered: Every well,
thank you but have been in trouble,
you know p "What trouble allied you 2"
"a trouble p. sed in durance."
A YOUNG lady who was doing the Alps
reported progress to her guardian ~
tried to climb the Ma:torlorn didn't
reach the top. It's absurdly high
everything is high in this country.
Please send me some money"
1HAtE the vie, pestiforous fly
That vii not let me lie
W,on would AXE my morning nap;
1sqalrn aboit aid sry 10 sap
That fly,
But slap ms face in vain attempt
Toxin the wretch
An alleged poet says that violets are
Heavenly gems on Natures polonaise,"
and We presume on the same plan it
may be- said fiat white turnips are the
buttons on Natures negro-minstrel
aust.r.
1--WE five cents left" said ioaSer,
$50 I'll buy paper with them" "What
paper do you buy?" said friend, Gu
rious TO learn the literary taste of his
acquaintance. "a paper Of tobacco"
replied the loafer.
ELLA WHEELER has not received q
single offer of marriage since the publ
cation of her poem " Mamma VIII
Not Leave Her Home" How often the
most promising efforts of our lives yield
naught but disappointment. She
should not give up iii despair, however
A brief poem beginning as. follows
niglG have more satisfactory result
Darling u,o'es dead and gone,
Leaving al his wealth to me,
Bat what are riches, what are lands,
Since his dear face no more see?
N. quad.
MAID Of Detroit we wed,
Tel t.e cas- yen lake good bread?
is The oSi!ee thSt yoa brew
Strong and clear, OF amber hue?
noyou eyer ccnaA your hair
VII re the weird hash YOU prepare7
But rst OF MI, pray tell me. sweet,
Are you cursed with frrid feet7
Free Press.
BELLS ON SHEEP.