Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-08

MANY young men complain of the cost
OF courtship, but in the long run it is
not so expensive as seeing the boys"
Boston Star.
He bowed to her across the table.
smlrked, washed his hands in Invisible
soap and water, and said: " excuse me,
dink hat med you at Saratogas dis
summer-my name is Moses" g can
not recall your face" she airiIy an
swered, "but your name is quite IA
miliar. "-Menaphis AUalonche.
ITs too provoking. After all the
thousands it has cost the government.
and the great amount of costs, and time.
and one thing and another, this star
route prosecution hasn't yet settled the
question whether we should say "Star
rout or star root" It begins to look
as though we never would know.
"WHY didn't you deliver that message
as [ gave it to you?" asked an Austin
gentleman of his stupid servant. ct did
de best I could, boss" "You did the
best you could, did you?" irtimating his
voice and look. $50 you did the best
you could. If had known that I was
sending a donkey, l would have gone
HAVE you ever before been punished
by the law?" asked justice of a col
ored culprit. Eyes, called man
liar and 1 had to pay fne.' els that
the onl y time you have come in conflict
with the law ?" "Now dat yer speaks
oh hit, iedge, bleeve I was in de peni-
tertiary for ten yeahs, if disremembers
myself. "-Teros SIftangs.
ONE day toward mig tfall, and in I'M
certain light, man bought an overcoat
of pretended plum color. The next
morning it proved to be of quite too
unmistakable green. Returning it to the
shopkeeper, that worthy regarded the
buyer calmly, and said: IS You must
have little patience with it, my dear
sir; it isn't ripe yet. lie Figaro.
SEEING her son coming in with his
fishing pole, said Mrs. Smlthers, "Been
fishing again, you wicked boy; how
many times have I told you not to go
fishing on Sunday ?" "But, mother"
said the boy, 81 don't catch anything"
"That's just it, exclaimed Mrs. s.;
"and here it is almost dinner time, and
not thing in the house to eat but bread
and butter. boston Transcript.
1HE COlupOSlbOE VINO SGb some MANU-
script about donation party, mad
vertently made it read ILLUMINATION
party" The minister next day bought
hundred copies, mailed one to each
of his congregation who attended the
party, went around and thanked the
editor, asked him out for drink, and
then presented him with six pairs of
slippers he had scooped the night of the
party.
"WE1L, my little fellow, I suppose
you expect to be q good and useful man
some day" said benevolent old gentle
man as he patted the head of young
ster. Nav, don't I'm goin' ter be
hard ticker. I am; dad says So Give
us light. Oh, you don't smoke, you
old blizzard" Benevolent old gentle
man drops around the corner, terribly
shocked at the wickedness of the rising
| generation.
A RUSTIC who visited Portland the
| other day conceived the idea of being
shaved. His search for barber-shop
was unavailing, but, finally, he espied a
brass mortar and pestle over drug
store. He went in and asked for a
shave, and was informed they kept no
barber. "Don't yer?" said the rustic.
"Well, swan and here he stepped
to the door and pointed to the g1lded
mortar and pestle-"I SAY that big
yellow brush and mug sticking out
there, and thought this must be o bar
ber-shop, sure.