Connecticut western news., 1882-01-11
WIT AND WISDOM,

walk down the aisles. ..F-. ..
 A YOUNG lady who was squeezed be- tween two freight cars says it felt just like trying on pair of new corsets.
 AN EXCHANGE says the difference be- tween a hungry man and a glutton is. cone longs to eat, and the other eats too long," .s aS
 A WOMAN may not be able to sharpen a pencil or throw stone at o hen, but she can pack more articles into trunk than man can in one-horse wagon.
 GENERAL SHERMAN ought to be happy. Ten deserters were captured last week. This increases the regular army fifteen per cent.
 As IT was with Peter, so it IS with us. As long as there is in the valley below a lunatic child who needs our help we must not stay on the Mount of Trans figuration.
 TRUE dispatch is rich thing; for tune is the measure of business, as money is of wares, and business is bought at dear hand where is small dispatch. Bacon. ..r
 SOME men who never succeed say it is because they can't see an opening. Often, however, it is because they see too many openings in tavern fronts Phila. Chronicle. |. . 'l+ @
 A CmoAao woman wrote to her friends in Boston that she ''lived in Hide Park" When they came out to visit her they found the artless thing out at the stock yards. .sa WANT of memory is considered one of the strongest proofs of insanity.
 The tailors then have good reason to believe that most of their customers are crazy. Boston Courier.
 THE idea of duty, that recognition of
 something to be lived for beyond the
 mere satisfaction of self, is to the moral
 life what the addition of great central
 ganglion is to animal life. George
 EIiot.
 1 NATURE has her language and she is
 not unveracious, but we don't know all
 the intricacies of her syntax just yet,
 and in nasty reading we may happen
 to extract the very opposite of her real
 meaning. za.L "o aa. '-"
 THE plaintive wailing of the minor
 mingles itself with earthly melody, and
 it is only by and by that the veil shall
 be lifted and the full chords of har-
 mony peal on our ears unmarred by the
 undertone of pain. ..-..,r.,, .. l WE often hear of @ woman marrying
 man to reform him but no one ever
 tells about man marrying woman to refozm her. We men are modest, and don't talk about our good deeds much. I-PlGinfeld Bulletin
 THERE IS 8 man in Jamaica, l.. l.,
 who has moved so often that when
 covered wagon comes near his home his
 chickens all fall on their backs and
 cross their legs, ready to be tied and
 carried to the next stopping-place.
 J. P. B., Galveston: ''I want to write something for your paper. What style of matter do you like bestp I want you to answer this without any foolish
 ness." Single-column display (without
 cut), W. 1y., is the sort of matter we
 like best. Send us some. See rates
 sent by mail.-Teras Sifttngs.
 AN UNDERGRADUATE, under examine tion at Dublin, was missing question after question. At last the examiner
 got irritated, and said, ''I declare, I've , got dog at home that could answer the questions that have been given to
 you." "Have you really, sir?" said the undergraduate, blandly. 'May l ask if you would sell him ?"
 Two WE'LL known gentlemen of New ark, members of the church and occu- pying positions of trust in the mercan- tile world, have come forward and con-
 fessed that they have not stolen dollar
 in twenty-five years. Public sentiment runs very strongly against them, and they are not admitted into good soci- ) ety. They will probably be compelled to leave the city ana go to Texas. THEY had been engaged to be mar ried fifteen years, and still he had not
 mustered up resolution enough to ask her to name the happy day. One even- ing he called in particular frame of mind, and asked her to sing something tender and touching, something that would move" him. She sat down at
 the piano and sang, 'Darling, I am growing old." ... "SoME years ago" says the Louisville Journal, "whenever colored man had the toothache string was tied around :. the decaying grinder, and while the dentists assistant held the cord, the dentist raised heavy maui, as if to strike the patient dead. Of course, the African threw himself back to avoid the blow, and with such force as to jerk 2 out the tooth. This sort of dentistry, it should be said, was cheaper than the ,, present operation" -...... ... . A LITTLE nine-year-old girl, who has not yet learned the meaning of treble and bass, overheard the other evening . her parents discussing the subject of a piano piece for four hands. "I don't see how two people can play on one
 piano at the same time," said she. ? "Oh, yes, they can," replied her mother; ''think for moment, dear" :, "So they can, mamma" answered the . little one, after a short reflection ''one : on the boong boong side and one on the .. the ting-a-ting side. ~ v7r... I. THE train bad run into snow-drift | S IL. T..