San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-07-20
A Corner In Collins.
by LOCKE MELoSE.

their supplies from uista
man died because, among other reasons
he could not postpone 1t.
The brother Of the dead man ordered
a handsome coffin for the occasion he
ordered it of an undertaken named
Hotchkiss. The mother'in-law OF the
deceased, not knowing this, ordered a
coflin-a cheap one. She ordered it OF
Sudberry, another undertaken.
In the afternoon Hotchkiss came
with his coffin. 1t fitted like a glove
Just as he was giving the finishing
touches, and making the corpse feel
comfortable, Sudberry arrived with his
coffin. They looked at each other. Inc
latter saw that the former had got
ahead of him; but that was not ALL
Hotchkiss' coffin was not only very
handsome one, but he arranged things
so that the corpse looked like it was
proud of being dead. It's appearance
cheered grief.stricken friends and rela'
tives. They were elated. SudberrJ S
coffin was cheap and coarse-and 1t was
empty. ;,
They had words. Sudberry blurted
out:
@You've taken a mean, sneakin' adj
vantage of me-"
"Coffin was ordered of me in regu-
lar way" returned Hotchkiss.
aI'd like to furnish coffin to bury
you in" continued SudIerry.
"I'd rather live forever than be
buried in one of your old cheap collins. !"
"Ill cut down the price of coffins un-
til you'll have to pack your blankets
out of town."
"Cut away"
He did cut down prices so low that
he got all of Hotchkiss' business. Then
Hotchkiss cut below Sudberry's prices.
1t was getting cheaper to die than to
live. Several availed themselves of the
reduced rates. Old Gudsey, who, as
matter Of economy, ate only one meal
a day, took this occasion to get off and
avoid the expense of even one meal
day. - :
Sudberry cut again. Hotchkiss met
it. Then the former began to pay
dollar for the privilege of undertaking
a corpse His business ivened. up.
Teddy O'Flynn, whoshad partner in
boot.black stand that he could not get
along with, availed himself of this op-
portunity to dissolve the partnership,
and make dollar. His partner died
very unnaturally. The increase of the
death rate of the town was very notice
able. A good many people seized the
occasion to get rid of their enemies and
burn an honest dollar. IA Fl
Notchkiss, too, began to offer re-
ward of 81 a corpse and drink OF
whisky thrown in. The next morning
Bill, desperate character
Of the town, stopped before .Hotchkiss'
shop with four dead Cinnamon in
wagon. He wanted 81 and the drinks.
The undertaken objected to taking the
four Cinnamon. Bill told him he could
AXE them or be dumped dead in with
;hem and go over to Sudberry's.
Hotchkiss took the four Cinnamon.
Bill took the four drinks: Hotchkiss
aad cut the prices as far as he could.
He had a large family dependent upon
aim. .Sudberry had no family-no
family at the time. He had previously
buried the several members Of his fam
ly, as it came right in his line, and be
lid it at first cost. The former APP
preached the latter to see if they could
not agree to restore old prices. Sud-
berry would not entertain any such
Said he would sell.
aotchkiss bought.
Then, to retrieve his losses, he put
10 coffins to exorbitant prices. He
Knew. if anyone else set up in the un'
lertaking business, weeks would elapse
before his collins arrived. There was
great falling off in the mortality that
lad prevailed. None but the wealthy |
could afford to die-that is, to die de-
,ently. There was a great deal of dis
People expostulated with
they said it was perfectly
legitimate to make a corner in any
,ther article. of trade, but to make it in
ofins was sacrilegious and ought not