The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-03-23

"what's to be done? My pantaloons are
right in the midst of them. / can't get
out now; they'd tear the very flesh off
my legs; and that fellow there sleeps
like top. Rellool Do you mean to
say you don't hear them cats, how they
are going it?'
Valentine meant to say no such thing,
for the whole of the time he was not en-
gagged i'll Meyowing and splitting, he was
diligently occupied in snorting, which
had very good effect, and served to fill
up the intervals exceedingly well.
At length the patience Of Mr.. Beagle
began to evsporate, for the hostile ami
mails continued to battle apparently with
great desperation. He, therefore, threw
pillow with great violence at his COM
panion, and shouted so loudly that VAL
entine, feeling that it would be deemed
perfect nonsense for him to pretend to be
asleep any longer, began to yawn very
naturally, and then asked, "Who'se
there p
'Tis l." shouted Mr.. Beagle, "don't
you hear those witches of cats?'
"Hish !'' cried Valentine; "why, there
are two of them"
"Two!" said Mr.. Beagle, "more likely
two-and-twenty! I've turned out a doz-
en- myself. There's swarm-a whole
colony of 'em here, and I know no more
how to strike light than fool"
"Oh we'll never mind" said Valen-
tine, "let's go to sleep; they'll be quiet
by and by"
SITS all very fine to say Lets sc to
sleep but who's to do it 2" cried Beagle
emphatically. "Blast the cats I wish
there wasn't cat under heaven-I do,
with all my soul They're such spiteful
vermin, too, when they happen to be put
out; there's one of them in passion, I
know by her splitting, confound her I
wish from the bottom of MY heart it was
the very last spit she had in her,
While Mr.. Jonas Beagle was indulg-
ing in these highly appropriate observa-
tons, Valentine was laboring with great
energy in the production of the various
bitter cries which are peculiarly charac-
teristic of the feline race; and for man
who possessed but very slight knowl-
edge of the grammatical construction OF
the language of that race, it must, in
Justice, be said that he developed de-
gree of fuency which did him great cred
it. He purred and mewed, and cried
and spit. until the perspiration oozed
from every pore and made the sheets as
wet as if they had been "damped for the
maugle."
"Well, this is remarkably nice posi-
ton for man to be placed in, certainly, u
observed Mr.. Beagle. ''Did you ever
hear such wailing and gnashing of teeth:
Are you ever going to leave off, you
scoundrelsl" he added, throwing the
bolster with great violence, as he fondly
conceived, right amongst them. Instead
however, of striking the cats Herewith,
he unhappily upset some furniture, which
made such clatter that he began to
slut! tut p and to scratch his head
audibly.
"Who's there ?" demanded Plumplee
in the passage below, for he slept in the
room beneath, and the noise of the ar
ticles in question had alarmed him.
"Who's there; dye hear? Speak, OF
I'll shoot you like dog !" and on the in,
slant the report of pistol was heard,
which in all probability had been fired
with the view of convincing all whom i,
might concern that he bad such thing
as a pistol in the house. "Who's there9'
he awain demanded; "you vagabond, I'll
be at you ~
''Beagle!' he shouted, after waiting
in vain for the street door to bang.
''Here |" cried Beagle, "come up here
It's nothing. I'll explain. For heavens
sake" he added, addressing Valentine,
"open the door,"
But Valentine was too much engaged
to pay any attention to any such request.
At this moment the footsteps of Mr..
Plumpee were heard upon the stairs, and
Mr.. Beagle, who then began to feel some
what better, cried:
"Come in, my good friend; come in. y
What on earth is the matter2" in
quired Mr.. Plumplee, as he entered the
room, pale as ghost, in his night shirt,
with a horsepistol in one hand and q
lamp in the other.
"It's all right" said Beagle; "'twas
that made the noise. I've been besieged
by cohort of cats. They have been at
it here making healthful music under my
bed for the last two hours, and in trying
to make them hold their peace with the
bolster upset the furniture
Seats !" cried Mr.. Plumplee, seats
You ate little too much cucumbers, my
friend! That and the crabs were too
much for your stomach. You have been
dreaming you've had the nightmare
We haven't cat in the house; I can't
bear them"
you're mistaken" rejoined Beagle;
''they are about here in swarms. If I've
turned one cat out this night, I'm sure
that I've turned out twenty2 I've in
fact done nothing else since I came up.
In and out, in and ont. Upon my life
think I can't have opened that door NO
less than hundred and fifty times; and
that young fellow there has been all the
while fast asleep as church!"
81 tell you, my friend, you've beer
dreaming We've never had a cat OF
the premises"
"Meyowl meyowl meyowl" cried
Valentine ouietlv.