Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1882-04-29
"QUESTIONS ANSWERED."
a Visitor who w as Above the Vanitics
Of T.ais World.
From the Brooklyn Eagle.l

II iOih tnO Dioohiyh GaBic'J
care you one of the editors of this
newspaper ?" she asked in q futtering
tone, approaching the man who
does the "Questions Answered" for the
Eagle.
"Yes," he replied, taking her in at
glance. Make the waist plain and
shirr on the skirt; put in an apron front
and leave the back of the dress full,
with a narrow tiounce at the bottom"
and the encyclopedia turned away to his
work.
CT didn't want to ask you about
Dress" she faltered. II hope 1 am
above the vanities of this world. Ihave
been a church member, but am be-
wildered about my responsibilities, and
her eyes filled with tears.
care you an idiot, lunatic, married
woman, or habitual drunkard ?" in
CURED the "Questions man, running
over the Norvun Organum to see If the
Plesiosaurus laid eggs or sucked her
young.
"Sir! !" she demanded, with rising in
dignation.
"Because if you amt, you're legally
responsible" he answered, turning to
the question How could the chill
dren of Adam marry the daughters of
man, If there was no man before
Adam ?"
81 don't mean that. want to I'M
derstand whether am a free agent, or
if l am"
"That depends upon how you have
made your contract. Ii you bought the
goods outright you are only liable for the
purchase price, but if you work on COM
mission"
mo, no. Not that; )" and streaming
tears reused the Questions " man to
some show of interest. 81 am In doubt.
Which way shall 1 turn? ?"
"Well, my dear, that depends much
on the dance. In the waltz you turn
from left to right until you reverse. In
the"
"Good Heaven !" calculated the in
quirer, she thinks dance. No, no,
mol You don't understand me. want
to understand the right road
"Yes, yes !; / see. That depends upon
circumstances. Ii you're going to the
cemetery, you take Greenwood car.
II you're going over to williamsburg.
look out for Greenpoint and Myrtle
avenue car; or, if you want the circus,
you will find the Fulton street"
"Merciful Providence tits not that,
either. Can you scott ut me when my
head is bowed thus in sorrow?"
"Oh, that's it p replied the "Ques-
tons" man, glancing through Rollins
history to find the difference between
Scandinavian and o Swedenborgian.
SECT q brown chip turned up at the
back or on the left side, and trim it with
yard of Spanish lace and bunch of
forget-me-nots in the front. Or, you
might try white Leghorn with"
Giant you understand me?" she
moaned, wrlnging her hands. "Don't
you see that my feet are sore and weary,
"Corns?" asked the Questions
man, scratching his ear. "Pare 'em
down carefully, and put on four drops
of lemon, Or"
"You mock mel" she sobbed. "Pray,
let me rest moment"
The 'Questions" man regarded her
sympathetically, and turned to the in
quiry, "Did the Athenians fry their
CLANS or eat them raw?" while he gave
her time to recover.
81 come for information" she con-
tinued, OF length; Il want to know
what can do. am in a fever"
"Saltsl" proclaimed the encyclopedia
with energy. "You want salts; a table
spoonful an hour before breakfast. That
will reduce the fever, and then"
"You horrible wretch |" sobbed the
unhappy woman, rising. 81 came to
you because thought you could guide
me to the spiritual fountain for which I
am thirsting, and you insult me in this
wanton way T" and she Topped out Of
the office with riotous Indignation.
"Most unaccountable female" solilo-
quized the Questions man. 81 told
her what thought she wanted to know,
and she gets as mad as the fellow did
when 1 told him that pawnbroking took
its origin in showing Jonah in the spout.
I've got to have more salary for this
business, or the Eagle must get another
man," and the encyclopedia bent his
attention upon his question, "What
postage did Paul pay on his first epistle
to the Corinthians 2"