Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-07-07
SunbeamS.

N#''SN ~ SANCtSS.
II takes keen-edged man ID cut his
way through the world.
The bride is led 10 altar. but she
draws the groom thither all the same,
; Every girl who expects TO keen uu
with the times should wear clocks on
+ her stockings.
; VI course a man that's dead broke
; can't be any broker, can he9
Always walk in the paths Of the yir-
tuous-h but please don't tread ON our
sore heel.
1t Is useless for the temperance asits-
'ois 10 pass resolutions SO long As the
printers have to set EN- up.
1t Is asserted by the expert of the
New Orleans PituVtns that the gold
miner gets his beer by the quartz.
A yeung married man whose house
rent is paid by his mother-in-law slludes
TO her as his darling psy-rcut.
\ wag suggested that suitable omen.
ing tor many choirs would be. Lord
nave mercy on us miserable singers.
ere III pickle now" said 4 man
III a crowd. "A regular lam" said
another. Heaven preserve lis, moan.
cd an old woman.
Definition OF Mississippi ride
pop bottle, loaded with Robinson conn
ty, wadded with a cork, ana is seuer-
ally fatal at Two and half PAGES.
Nothing makes woman craz,er than
10 plant mtgnonette. and, when il comes
up. To ascertain that the seedman mt
cabbage seed into the wrong envelope.
Booths success i'll London is attrib.
uted TO defamation" no matter what
II Is due To so long as the success suc-
ceeds.
The report that John I. RAYMOND.
the actor, was injured in the New Jer-
Sey railroad disaster turns out A mis-
take. lie was not ON the Inflated train.
Charles L. Ingersoll, professor of ag-
rlculture at Purdue University, Indiana.
has resigned that position, to accent
the presidency of the Colorado acricul
tural college At Fort Collins.
AZ Newport, X. l., Francis Ii. New
bold, of New York, married Miss Maud
Ledyard, granddaughter Of General
Lewis Cass, wonderful beauty. The
costly.
Henry Coop has been shot hv i
prominent citizen OF st. Louis. Ii IA
generally the contents and not tie Hen
Coop that the prom. cit Of st. Louis is
after.
scientist says that the nose is i
faithful index of the character. In
that case fellow who had had his pro
boscis smashed ought To recover against
his assailant in libel suit.
some men hahitually treat the wives
of other men with greater courtesy
than they do their OWN. But then.
You see, they don't have to provide
other mems wives with new spring bon
nets.
A new style Of door mat has lust
been devised for editorial sanctums.
1t bears the woven inscription. Come
again. and is intended 10 lie outside
of the door. Z. 5. The editor lies IN
side.
Why Is 1t that u man could not live
pleasantly if Gagged with a lot of ami
mails? Because he would have IA beast
ly time.-Phia. Item. Gagged with i
lot Of wild Texas steers he would have
a bully time.
The managers Of the veteran soldiers
reunion, to be held NJ Topeka, Kan,
September II 20, during the state
fair have received positive assurances
that james &. Blaine would attend and
address the veterans.
u. 5. Grant, Jr, has obtained an at-
tachment against all the property of
Henry Ii. Honore in the state of Now
York, to enforce the settlement Of
claim of 81, 800. Mr.. Honore's daugh-
ter is young Grants sister-in-law. being
the wife of Fred Grant.
a city chap told country cousin ON
her. that she Cooked as fresh
as daisy kissed by dew" She replied.
that wasn't his name, il
was Bill Jones, and ! told him every
body would find it out"
In certain street sre three tailors.
The first to set up his shop hung ont
his sign: "Here is the best tailor IN
town. The next put up: "Here is the
best tailor in the world" The third
simyly had this; Here is the best tail
or in this street.
A Montana vigilance committee
Il lynching matinee for two
hours in order 10 allow the victim To
shake in rails III which he held
chance. Thus doth the spirit Of chris
tian magnanimity crop out even in the
rough and uncouth wilds Of the west.
Sisterly affection :-"Does the world
miss anyone" questioned Il disconso-
late maiden Of some thirty-six sum
mers and eight moons over. 'eThe
world will he very likely to Miss YOU"
said her younger sister. ''As for me. !
shall he Mrs before cherries are
ripe"
WHAT this country wants Is galvan-
ic phonograph that can he set along
side the cradle and noiselessly absorb
the midnight qua rels of a colic-strick-
en- infant, SO that the parents Will not
hear the noise. The compressed lung
force can then be let out on backward
cats and book-agents who call next
Jay.
The wood for runkards--hic-ory.-
FraakJ0rd HcrGh. The wood for
ash Cho6. The wood
for rseamstress-hemlock For a love
sick maiden-pine ne.-Hrdh. The
wood to guide ship-the elm
Ne10 Jersey Enterprise. The woo6 for
gardeners cucumber -Bradfma Star.
Inc wood for incorrigible boys
prickly ash.
A rich sol. How is the soil Of Kan
iax?" asked one Of the group, Az the trav-
eler paused. Richest In the world, sir"
was the reply. II know New York
State man who went 10 Kansas seven
years ago with only fifteer dollars in
cash, and he is now worth two hundred
thousand dollars" "Whewi What did
le raise, principally" 81 believe it
vas check, sir, but they couldn't ex-
lctly prove it on him Think of a soil
hat will raise bank check for one
hundred and ninety dollars to nine
cen thousand dollars, and in back
ward season at that"
A young man with a very bad voice,
1ut who firmly and steadfastly believed
hat in the article Of voice he was the
superior Of Brignoli, engaged teacher
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