South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-11-03
WIT AND rHUD1o II.

several months aud the children had
gone 20 the depot to meet her. They
chsttsd away merriIy while she pzs,ed
their little heads snd smiled interes .
teddy.
'IIow's Mary1' she inquired when they
both stopped for breath.
oh! she's WE'LL She's taking her
music lessons right along
And H.rryf'
He's going 10 school. Started last
week
And papa3'
ines we'll too He's having bully
time. He said he didn't care il YOU
didn't come back for year
The passengers roared.
Grabbing the children with both
hands she rushed for the door with an
fll-get-even-w with him for-this express
Zion on her face. Heaven help him!
Ma, will my little brother always be
younger than amI' Yes. darling
'That'll be nice why loveyP BE.
cause then 1 can always lick him.
A colored porter asked the proprie.
tor for days leave Of absence.
What's up nowi'
Oars a niggah gwinc ter git married.
and oughter be present ter see him
fru.'
who is this co.ored man nj whose
wedding you have to be PRESENT.
Use de niegah, boss
An Arkansaw boy who had been
reading humorous paper remarked TO
his father, who was in the field .crad. .
ling wheat. Say pap, why does your
cradle cut unwillinglyY' Because it is
dull l reckon replied the old man.
NO. said the boy, because it goes a.
gainst the grain
RoUGH ON THE CoLoNEL.-Father
STINsoN was the Baptist chaplain of the
9th n. Y. Cavalry whose colonel tie.
lighted to march his command through
muddy ground-the preacher invaria.
bly, seeking dry roundabout course.
Called the colonel after drill one day :
III the Chaplain fears to soil hi, clothes
by riding through puddles l shall be
glad TO carry his reverence across them
myself No, thanks rejoined S,in-
son, AS the government provides hor
ses see no reason why L should ri,Ie
jackass.
A litlle-iive-ycar old boy was being
instructed in morals by his prandmoth-
en- The old lady told him that oil such
terms as by go!ly,' by jngo,' 'by thur
der ETC., we're only littl, oaths and
but little better than other profanitics.
In fact she said he could tell prorane
oath by the prefix by All such were
oaths. well then, randmo,her.' said
the little hopeful, is by telegraph
which L seen in the papers swearing p
No.. said the old lady; THAT only ly-
ing.
All flesh is grass: tBreddren,' said
plantation preacher, Il will now dis
course to you out oh. de 'pistle OBJ Clo-
vcr! No Pomp,' cried one of his sa.
hle congregation, you means De epistle
of Timothy No matter, replied the
preacher, amy kind Oh grass will do, so
dat it will DO good fodder
In tue pioneer days OF Michigan a
horselhef or murderer stood as good n
chance OF being run up to a limb as
one of those characters does now in the
Far west. One night, thirty years ago
stranger, who bad not only stolen n
horse, but shot one of his pursuers, was
overhauled rear Dc Witt, Clinton coun.
ty; and taken 10 Jail. In half an hour
a mob was drummed up and proceeded
to the Jail to remove the prisoner and
bang him. One of the foremost was a
lawyer named Green, dead long since
In fact be lead the mob and acted as
spokesman. When the crowd reached
the cooler Green stepped forward a..
lone TO demand the prisoner Of tue Jail.
er, and after a conference lasting five
minutes lie returned TO the mob and
said
Gentlemen, | at first believed tie
prisoner 70 be guilty. but now have
my doub.s about it. In fact, firmly
believe in his innocence.
How DO you make That out?' yelled n
dozen mon.
why. gentlemen, l at Grst Supposed
no vas some poor coon without dollar
IN bis pocket, but / have learDed that he