The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1882-11-16
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Munkey with the buz saw when in mo-
shun."
1t is all mistake about the spoons.
Butler when an infant was not fed from
q spoon even.
"The camels kick, write naturalist.
''is study" Itmay be added the mules
kick is lesson.
An editor, only married short while
ago, the following week printed a fierce
article against bossism.
When man gives up house, what
rank would he hold in the army? That
Of a left-tenant, Of course.
Outing the last 90 years more than
200 millions Of acres Of land have been
given to the great corporations.
Philadelphia boasts r.an who tried
to poison seven people. Iu man who
isn't doctor this seems extraordinary.
The proper study of mankind is man.
said Pope. He omitted to state that wo-
man might be undertaken us an ''ophon-
al"
! Senator Wade Hampton said in q
| speech in Chesterfield county, S. o.,
the other dav he would meyer be can
didaie for Office again.
Astronomers continue TO assert that
there is something the matter with the
comets head. Men who are up allnight
rs the comet is, will know whnt il means.
Jones getting up from his dinner in
quiet way remarked to his land lady that
he had found everything on the table
cold except the ice cream,
Aunt-Has any one been nc the pre-
serves? Dead silence. Have you tonch-
ed them. jimmy Jimmy with the ut-
most deIiberation--Pa never lows me to
talk at dinner.
An editor wrote personal account Of
young man going to spark his girl.
When it was printed he was Mortified to
see the lettet ~ substituted for the let
ter II in the word spark.
Two Montana men, while sinking d
nine, broke into a subterranean cavern
filed with skeletons From the NUM-
Der Of deadheods in the pit it must have
been old theater.
J "Whnt station is this2'' asked Indy
passenger OF an English tourist near by.
7 Looking out Of a window and reading a
sign on the fence, he replied, Rough
e on Rats, | guess, mum"
! Mamma, is the old hen going to be-
i sent away for the summer. No Charlie;
! but why do ask2" well, / heard papa
q tell the new governess that he.would take
!, her out riding when he sent the old hen
away for the summer"
8 Have place for everything and every
e thing in its place. Somehow or other
& this won't work, we have big place for
o our wealth. but we'll be hanged II we
!, can put II there. we haven't got it.
y Well, said d child, II the hairs Of our
- heads are all numbered, the numbers
= mnst get awfully mixed up. for lots Of
women wear hair that grew on some one
:, else's head 4 Danyille Advertiser,
re A young friend Of ours wants TO know
lr a remedy for love sickness. We adviss
le him TO start a newspaper, and il tha
,g don't take the starch out Of hli
10 bifalutin' ideas or worldly felicity, vel
le cave.
4 4 You are the most handsome lndy ey.
n er saw, said q gentleman 10 one Of the
- fair. / wish / conld say as mnch fo
IL IL you, replied the lady You could mad
= am, il you paid MS little regard TO trutl
ae have.
Father, did you ever have nnothe
wife besides mother - s.No, my boy
e- what makes you ask such question
~ Because / saw IN the family Bible wher
N you married Ammo Domini. in 1885, an
is that isn't mother, for her name was Sal
II. " Smith.
ne Man and wife are ali one, are they
y said she. Yes, what of it said he sus
Wy piciously. Why, in that case, said hi
y; wife, came home awfully tipsy las
q night and feel terribly ashamed Of m,
W. self this morning. He never said wore
we A Georgia man was struck by lightnin
eh thrown clear through fence and In
'ar senseless for two hours. When 4
'en reeoyed his senses goat was feedin
wo near by and a mule was browsing in th
Ied next field. And he said he
IN give $3.50 to know whether the mu
EN- kicked him or the goat bucked him.
rip "Long John" Wentworth, ex-May6
ile of Chicago, is entirely bald except n Il
the tie tuft Of hair behind he ears, and
PEE one occasion, when riding IN the car
as carr, be frequently took off his hat al
orn scatched the back Of his ears, when
icli waggish backwoodsman shouted. tSta
sed ger, drive 'em up into the clearing au
md you can catch EN- all in five minutes. I"
Ey-
I4e A IIeadville preacher is visiting
PHILADELPHIA, and some brother clerg
men noticing that he did not carry
watch, asked him how be managed
time himself during his sermons. 20
that fa eipnuio anouuh - raf,lied III