Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-04-15
HUM0RS OF THE DAY.

The man who is oorned is very apt to
get on his ear and stalk off.
A MN eats cloves between acts SO that
not breath of suspicion may be cast on
his temperance character
ALWAYS look on the bright side; a
mighty ugly hired girl can ring the bell
for mighty good dinner
IT MAY be said of the "belle of the
ball that when she bows assent to an
invitation to the dance, "she stoops to,
concur"
BARTENDEPs are the most sociable set
on earth. They break the ice Oft
ener and finer than anybody. Bloom
ingtO,a Eye.
Don throw away your old fiour-bar-
rels. They are useful. 1t has been
| found that an ordinary -four barrel will
hold 678, 900 silver dollars.
WHEREIN is the average church con-
gregation better than the highwayman?
Does 1t not make the poor preacher
stand aud deliver every Sunday?
"THE lauses kiss with lips of fame"
says a recent poet of the new order.
Then we are thankful that we are not
counting any of the muses. Just now.
We don't wish to have our mustache,
burned off.
| "YoU just ought to see how was pay
ing attention to Miss Flapiack out at the
picnic. did you speak to her ?'' go
no !; I didn't proceed to that extreme,
but patted her poodle dog ON the back
when she WASH looking. "-Austia S&tt-
ings.
"DEAR, dear" exclaimed Mrs. Brown.
Il have just been over to see Clara.
Poor child! She is dying of ennuj. 4"
"Why, how you tal&I' cried Mrs. Home
! spun; then, adding, as she moved away
/ from her visitor: "Mercyl faint ketch-
/ in, is itp'
"GENTLEMEN of the jury" said a
! laundering counsel, in suit about lot
of hogs, There were just thirty-six in
/ the drove. Please remember the fact
! thirty-six hogs; just three times as many
as in that jury box, gentlemen" That
counsel didn't gain his case.
The lecturer began: "There is "a for
tune lying iuws,t-" Up jumped a
| bullet-headed fellow III the northeast
corner to remark: "Weil I guess you re
/ bout right, there, mister. There's Bill
Jones, the butcher Three years ago
/ he wasn't with dollar. He's got a
| fortin now. Got it, as you say, by ly-
+ ing in weight. . The bullet-headed man
said no more, but the lecturer was i'll at
ease during the entire ning.-Bost0n
! Transcript
SHE was bright eyed and rosy checked /;
in fact, very pretty. She arranged two
car seats so that she might have abund-
ant room. Then she opened her book
satchel and began to take notes of her
| morning lesson. How charming to see
the young female mind develop, thought
| we. She took notes Just three minutes,
and then. oh, horrors she unfolded a
fash story paper and read slush for half
an hour. Her beauty faded so rapidly
that when she left the car we thought
she was the plainest person We ever
saw.
"GooD morning, Fogg." said Brown,
briskly. How did you like the opera
last night % Oh $3.50, - answered Fogg,
modify; nothing sinking about it,
excepting the drum-sticks. "Come,
come" returned Brown, be serious.
Didn't you think that bravura passage
pizzicato and appogiatura embellish-
ments were lovelyT "Guess l didn't
see it," replied Fogg as before " there
was only feathers and flowers and thing.
on the one in front of me- ''What are
you talking about, man?' exclaimed
Brown. "That girls hat, of course
Wash t you?" Good morning." sai(
Brown, as he turned the corner.