Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-23
THE WEATHER FIEND,
Or, The Crushed Passenger.
From the Burlington Hawk-Eye.1


"Pretty warm" the man with his thin
clothes said to the man in the corner
seat.
whats pretty warm?" growled the
man in the corner.
why, the weather."
what Weather." more gruffy than
ever.
why" the man with the thin clothes
said, looking as though he wished he
hadn't begun it, "this weather."
well" said the man in the corner,
shows this weather any different from
any other?"
The man in the thin clothes looked
nervously ct the dumb mule, and said.
1T was warmer"
How do you know it," asked the
man in the corner.
The other man began to wish he was
well out Of it, and said he supposed it
was; he hadn't heard how the
isn't the weather the same every
where?" savagely demanded the man
in the corner.
@Why, no." the man with the thin
clothes replied, wishing to goodness he
had newspaper to hide behind; mo,
it's warmer in places, and in some places
it's colder"
"What makes it warmer in some
places than it's colder in others?" re-
morselessly pursued the man in the
corner,
why" the man with the thin clothes
said, piteously, the sun, with the effects
of the suns heat"
Makes it colder in some places than
it's warmer in others ?" roared the man
in the corner, Indignantly. Never
heard of such thing"
NO." the man the thin clothes hast
ened to explain. II didn't mean that.
The sun makes it warmer"
"Then what makes it colder?" pur-
sued the remorseless man in the corner.
The man in the thin clothes wiped
the beaded perspiration from his pallid
brow, and said slowly he guessed 1T was
the ice"
what ice?" demanded the inquisitor.
"Why," the victim said, with all
symptoms of approaching dissolution
apparent in his tremulous voice, the
ice that s-frozen-frozen by the
frost"
Did you ever see any ice that wasn't
frozen?" howled the man in the corner
10 burst of derision.
The man in thin clothes huskily whis-
pered that he wished he was dead, and
said: "No; that is, he believed he die mt.
"Then," Numbered the man in the
corner, what are you talking about?"
The man in thin clothes then made an
effort to brace up, and spicily replied
that he was trying to "talk about the
weather."
and what do you know about it ?"
triumphantly roared the man in the
corner. What do you know about the
weather."
The man in the thin clothes lost his
grip again, and feebly said "he didn't
know much about it, that was fact"
And then he tried to be cheerful and
work in little joke about nobody being
able to know much about the weather,
but the man in the corner sat down on
him with a tremendous outburst.
"No, sir! should say you didn't.
You came into this car and forced your
self on the attention of stranger, and
began to talk to me about the weather,
just as though you owned it, and find
you don't know solitary thing about
the matter yourself selected for your
topic Of conversation; you don't know
one thing about meteorological condi-
tons, principles or phenomena; you
can't tell me why it is warm in August
and cold in December; you don't know
icicles form faster in the sunlight than
in the shade; you don't know why the
earth grows colder as it comes near the
sun; you can't tell me why man can
be sunstruck in the shade; you can't
tell me how a cyclone is formed nor
how the trade-winds blow; you couldn't
find the calm center of storm if your
life depended on it; you don't know
what a sirocco is nor where the south
west monsoon blows; you don't know
the average rainfall in the United States
for the past and current year; you don't
understand the formation of fog, and
you can't explain why the dew falls at
night and dries up in the day; you don't
know why a wind dries the ground
more quickly than hot sun; you don't
know one solitary thing about the
weather, and you are just like thous-
and and one other people who always
begin talking about the weather be-
cause they don't know anything else,
when, by the cave of Boreas, sir, they
know less about the weather than they
do about anything else in the world"
And the man in the corner glared up
and down at the timid passengers, but
no man durst answer him. And as for
the man in thin clothes, he didn't know
for the life of him whether he had
sunstroke or an agno chill.
sx""Facts 81 eak palmer than words" Proof
1.-THE doctor told me to take blue pill, but I
didn't, for had already been poisoned twice by
mercury. The druggist told me to try Kidney
Wort, and did. 1t was just the thing for my bill
iousness and constipation, and now l am as well
as ever."-A. P. Sanford. Sold in both dry and
liquid form.