The Russellville Democrat., 1882-09-28

sunny South, is an old school teach
er. While teaching school in Greene
county, Georgia, he used new style
grammar. The following is one o.
the chapters:
Teacher Parse man.
Pnpil-Man is a common noun of
the female gender.
What is that. sirg
Man is a common noun Of the fem
mime gender; common cause he can
be bought cheap: and feminine gen
der because he's always got woman
on the brain, eighth person cause
his wife and six children come first:
is in the objective case and governed
by woman.
20 to your seat and put wet
cloth on your head.
Next. Parse woman.
Woman is female noun of the
masculine gender.
Mercy on us! What do you say?
She's female noun OF the mascu-
line gender; masculine because she
wears the breech- aloons and is de
termined to vote, she's compounded
of cotton, whalebone, starch, sun
shine, smiles, and thunder clouds: is
the first person, cause she's always
the person speaking; plural number,
cause she makes more noise than a
dozen parrots, is in the objective
case and governed by fashion.
Sit down and rinse your mouth
with prophylactic fluid.
Next. Parse boy.
Boy is an uncommon noun, of tile
goslin gender and female persuasion.
Thunder and bootjacksl What is
that sir?
Boy is an uncommon noun, of the
goslin gender and female persuasion;
uncommon cause he's hard to find
now a'days, cause he soon enters
the threshold of goosehood; female
persuasion, cause he's always got
the heart slck about some female;
first person, big Ike! singular num-
Der, cause there's nobody but him
self; in the objective case, and gov
erned by an embryo mustache, Schei-
dam Schnapps, and the length of his
daddy's purse.
20 home, sir, and battle your feet
in mustard.
Next. Parse girl.
Girl is an angelic noun of the Gre
clan bend gender, and masculine
tendencies.
Oh, save us from sudden death? |
These boys will never be raised. |
How is that sir?
Girl is an angelic noun, cause she |
paints her cheeks and loves inguns;
she's compounded of cosmetics, |
flowers, fuss and feathers; is of mas
culine tendencies, cause she wears
the shirt bosoms, paper collars, and
always has her head full of boys;
singular number, cause the boys are
afraid of them, and matrimony is
played out; third person, cause she's
much spoken of; in the objective
case and governed by a gypsy bon
net.
Next. farSe fashion.
Fashion is tyranical noun cause
it must be obeyed and laughs at
poor mans purse. common gender,
cause all the people must bow to it;
Il is compounded Of aouaees, film
sizes, ruffies, scuftles, bubbles, ruffs,
snufts, cuffs, higgles, giggles, snig-
giles, cuFls, furls, hairs, snares, Gre
elan bend, fuss and feathers. 1t was
once in the objective case, and gov
erned by Eagenie, but is now In the
nominative case independent.
Go home sir, and 90 to bed.
Next, Parse baby.
Baby is an obstreperous noun of
,he neuter gender.
Moses and the prophet save us
rom destruction! What do YOU say. h
little imp?
Baby is musical noun, cause. it
sings soft tune between midnight I
md day, especially Of a cold night,
t Is neuter gender, cause it n Meth, J
n male nor female till it l. h;o
Appoegh 10 wear breeeAcs. T. uo;rhs
according to size ap.' n,oas,rss
y C ~ y no 70 lN0p .ftion; is compound
, =, = i ~ ""A and lungs, and especially
;" w. IS; grows at a rapid rate.
60 home, sir, and tell your IN other
to rock you to sleep. ao
Next. Parse matrimony.
Matrlmony is an ancient noun, de-
tunct gender.
Hear himl You little vagabond,
what do you say?
Matrimony is of the defunct gen.
der, cause it's played out. Girls are
so plentiful as blackberries, but
they've got nothing. Matrimony is
compounded of the words mate and |
money, but when there's a match |
nova days, it's nothing without the
money. Third person, cause its much
spoken of by the girls. In the OBJ
jective case and governed by the
money of the girls daddy.
A Man With Fifty Children.