Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-12-29
A COMPLICATED GARMENT.

thl~ ~u.nL,'r by sea baths Bathing
i'll tn" -,Tf l. an excellent tonic, and
II you Will make me up suit. and
one for Yourself, If You Ike, Wen 20
down often add ;;nr Il dip IN the
wav,,."
" Tn" Very best thing, smiled Mrs..
Spooprndyke. You certainly need
s"lutthInG to ton" You up. and there's
nothing Ike salt water | think I'll
make mine Of blue flannel. and, let
lnr 500, youre ought t. hr red, my
dear"
Il don't think y"u caught the TX
act drift of my remark retorted
Mr.. Sroop"ndyk" Il didn't say
was going INTO the opera business.
or that | was going to hire out to
some country village as a contiagra
ton. My plan WAS to 90 in swim
ming. Mr., Sroup"mlykr. and not
grow mp with the country as Il
cremation furnace. Nou can make
your, of hlur, if you want il. but don't
make mine Of red. that's all"
There's pretty shade of yellow
flannel ~
Most Individually, Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, but if you can think Tn going
to masquerade around Manhatt an
Beach in the capacity Of a ham you
haven't yet seized my idea. | don't
apprehend that [ shall benefit by the
waters any more by going around
looking like a Santa Cruz rum barrel.
What want is bathing suit, and if
You can't get one up without making
me look like a Fulton street ear, I'll
go and buy something to suit me"
Would you want it all in one
piece, OF do you want pants and
blOuse?"
g want Il suit easy to get in and
out of. I'm not particular about fol
lowing the fashion. Make up some
thing neat, plain and substantial,
and don't stick any fancy colors into
it. | want it modest and service
able"
Mrs Spt oprndyke made mp the
suit, under the guidance of IL lady
friend, whose aunt had told her how
it should be constructed. 1t was in
one piece, and when completed was
rather startling garment.
I'll try it on to night" said MIR.
Spoopendyke, eying it askancc when
it was handed to him.
Before retiring. Mr.. Spoopendyke
examined the suit, and then began
to get into it.
why didn't you make some legs
to it? What dye want to make it
all arms for?" he inquired, strug-
Cling around to see why it didn't
come up behind.
/" You've got it on Sideways" ex-
claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. You've
got one leg into the sleeve"
i've got to get it on sideways.
There amt any top to it. Don't
you know enough to put the arms
up where they belong? What dye
think l am anyhow! a stariish!
Where does this leg go?"
Right in there. That's the place
for that leg"
Then where's the leg that goes
in this hole?"
why, the other leg"
"Thc measly things all legs.
Who'd you make this thing for
me? What dye take me for. cen
tipede? Who else is going to get
in here with me? l want some
body else. L amt twins. can't fill
this business up. What dye call it,
any way; family machine7"
Those other places amt legs;
they're sleeves"
What are they doing down
there! Why amt they up here
where they belong? What are they
there for, snowshoes? S'pose I'm go
ing to stand on my head to get my
arms In those holes?"
Il don't think you've got it on
right suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
1T looks twisted"
That's the way you told me.
You said, put this leg hero and that
one there and there they are.
Now, where docs tho rest of me go!"
Il made it according to the pat
term" sighed Mrs Spoopendyke.
Then it's all right, and its me
that's twisted" sneered MIR. Spoop-
endyke. Ill have my arms and
legs altered. All l want is to have
my legs jammed in the small of my
back and my arms stuck in my hips;
then it'll fit Wha' did you take for
a pattern, n crab? Wher'd you find
the lobster you made this thing from!
'Sposc I'm going into tho water on
all tours? | told you | wanted
bathing suit. didn't l. Did say any
thing about chair Govern
- think it you take it off and try
1t over again. it'll work." reasoned
Mrs. Spoopcndyke.
"Oh. of course Eve only got to
humor the gasted thing That's all
1T wants" And Mr.. Spooprndyke
wrenched it off with growl.
Now, pull it OF" said Mrs Spoop-
endykn.
MIR. Spoopendyke went at it again,
and reversed the original order of
his limbs
Suit you now" he howled.
" That the way you meant it to go!
W hats these things Topping around
here?"
Those are tho legs, I'm afraid"
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, deiectedly.
What are they doing here? Oh,
I see. This is supposed to represent
me making dive. When l get this
on I'm going head first. Where's
the balance? Where's the rest?
Give me the suit that represents me
head up" And Mr.. Spoopendyke
danced around the room in fury.
just turn it over. my DEAR" said
Mrs Spoopendyke, land you are all
right"
"How'm l going to turn it over?"
yelled MIR. Spoopendyke "S'pose
I'm going to carry around a steam
boiler to turn me over when l want
the other end of this thing up?
S'pose I'm going to hire q man to go
around with griddle spoon and
turn NE over like a flapjack just to
please this dod gasted bathing suit?