The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-02-22
A Many-Sided Humorist.
"Say, do you want joker" asked {


"Say, do you want joker" asked
man entering the office
If you see the advertising man you
can probably dispose Of it.
"Now you are trying to insult me.
Probably you don't know who | am. l
am remarkable man in disguise. ! am
the author of the Spoopendyke papers,
which you have no doubt seen in the
Brooklyn Edgle."
Thought that work was done by
Stanley Huntey."
mo, sir. Stanley Huntleyis my nom
de plume. Wait till give you an imi-
tation Of myself" and seating himself,
and rejecting for moment, he began:
"'My dear said Mr. Spoopendyke. we have
received an invitation to yisita Christmas tree
over at Colonel Clay's residence Amt that
too sweety replied Mrs. Spoopendyke. i al
ways did enjoy Christmas trees, and once when
girl | went out into the country with my
cousin, and roamed around the woods looking
for Christmas trees 'Yedid, didye? Thought
somed presents, did ye? Thought that wax
tapers grew like leaves, did yc2 Ally you want
Is ten cents worth of common bark and
wooded top to be agroye. Think I'm going to
lhkt sum u WO1utl uIHDHR lHttIlKeUJ ptOplcf
All you want Is TO lace tight TO be q campaign
pole. Take me for dodgasted, measly birch
rodY'
How'll that dop Now. don't you
think that wrote those papers," said
the visitor, with the air Of aconqueror.
you have established youridentity,"
answered the scribe.
"And that amt ALL" continued the
humorist. 81 do the humorous writing
for the Detroit Free Press"
Thought that Charles Lewis was the
Free Press man"
mo doubt you thought so Light
minded men are liable to think anything.
Lewis, or M. Quad, is another one Of
my MONS de plume. I'll illustrate:
"The other evening, on Woodward Avenue
car, Il sad-faced man sat holding an oyster can
between his knees. Going to have an oyster
stewr asked red-cyed man sitting just oppo-
site. NO. 'FryY NO ']roiY No What
liveliest circus with my wife when [ get home
You ever. saw. And. closing his right eye, the
sad-faced man got or the car"
''How does that strike youp" asked
the humorist, with another expression
suggestive of vanquisher.
"Another establishment of identity"
acknowledged the scribe.
II am also Bill Nye."
William, am glad to meet you"
"Do not address me rs William until
Iproduce my credentials"
I'VE do not believe that any man has a right
to chow our name. Our constitution forbids
gIIph Familiarity No a continental Whan
hope and fear dance with fantastic tiptoe on
our broad bosom, filled with generous throbs,
we do not think that the moon-eyed editor Of
another sheet has a right to slipup and nip out
amouthful OF our ear"
The scribe fell from his chair, but was
lifted to his seat by the kind-hearted hui
morst.
Nov you can call me William"
"William," whispered the scribe, and
fumbling under lot of papers, he drew
out bottle and refreshed himself
MY name is Alex. Sweet, sir, and |
write the humorous stuff for the Texas
SUtingS. Listen:
Uncle Mace was met on Austin Avenue yes
terday by Jim Webster, who said Uncle
Mace, da tells me that yer's got de smartest
three-year-oid boy in Austin DE man what
Informed yer stated IA fack' What ebidence
has yer oh dat fackY why, sab, de udder day
chicken cum into my yard, an dc boy begin
ter chase him wild an instinck dat shows what
man he's gwine ter be-.
"Alex, am glad to meet you. We
have exchanged sympathy in private
manuscript, and now that we meet, the
occasion is one of excessive joy. Isthis
the extent of your literary wardrobePn
mo, sir; ] am Eugene Field. the man
who writes primer for the Denver Tri-
bune. But wait. i don't ask any man
to take my word:
Here we Have Boy and a Dog. The Dog
Has Big Mouth, and.the Boys Mouth Tor Jam
is Correspondingly Large. WIN the BOY Pull
the Dogs Taig Yes He Will Pull His Tail.
VIII He Pull 1t Twice2 No. He VIII Not Pull
II Twice"
WHO else are youp"
81 am numerous Others. am George
W. Childs, Of the Philadelphia Ledger.
Listen:
"My dog isdead, said Nancy Carey.
Come, write to-day her bitchuary,
Gone TO meet old Towsar."
a heavy fall attracted the attention az
the porter. When he came in he foun1
the scribe lying on the floor insensible.
lie will not recover. Arkansas Gazette.
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