Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-11-22
Jerry Green,pe.. yarns.


grants aud there IN almost sny fair even
lsr Jerry GreenIng, the veteran yarn
spinner Of Pike county. can be found.
The other night 1t as raining little when
the old man ssuniered in and hung his hat
on 2 peg behind the stove to dry. while he
removed his boOts and commenced warm
ing his feet before the blsZiBg wood tire.
Il heerd Jedge Mestfall telling bout
III fruitful soil IN tn lower Del'ware
Valley" said be, ''an' that minds me of
a mole story my pap told me oncet bout
tn rlch ground they usety hev in Western
Pennsylvany, in Chester county 1 thlnk't
were. Or, yes, / guess you'm right,
Jedge Ridgway; yes, come to rec'lect il
were in Potter county. Wall, my pap
usety tell bout III soil thar. He usety
say they was MT no place under tn blue
cantaloupe o. heaven where things growed
SO much as they growed OF; IN Potter
county. Wall, ez / were a sayIn', he
usety tell bout CROWN an I'm afeared
some o. his stories growed some, too, but
1 tell EN- lest oz he tOP 'em Z me an ef
they was anything outer gear into 'em why
tbatrI be his fault an not mine.
WAL. in tn fust place, be useiy say
that when he lived out thar they alters
made lump bread bout tn size of
negg an in ten hours It 'ud swell an grow
lnier a twelve or fourteen poun' loaf
Then he likewise useiy tell this story:
meet they was a man. lie went inter
III; woods not fur from Coudersport an
CHOPPED four trees down. Wall, he
built house an used them four stUmps
fer corner posts an him an bls wife
moved inter tn house lhe mex mornIn'
which he woke up he were s'piised { find
hisself an his family sixty-one foot IN tn
air. Ye see, them four corner posts hednt
GOT through a growin' when that man cut
down them four trees an they'd grOwed
llpht on up durin' tn night. An that
amt tn com 'clest part Of tn story. When
tn man woke up tn next mornin' an
looked out o. course he were s'prised /
see how high tn house was IN tn air, but
be were more s'prised t, see three Injuns
down thar on tn ground a waiun' Ter
chance Z scalp tn hull family Wall tn
fun of + is them three Iniuns did scalp
thet family arter all"
.sBut how did they manage TO do Itf'
quericd Judge Nesiiall.
wall, We see. this is tn way they done
If. They went L work. each O. them three
Iniuns cid, an sawed off a sapiin' an sat
down On 1t an jest waited furder develop
menis. Wall, ye see, a ssplln' grows
powerful sight faster nor tree an in
twenty-eIght hours them saplings grew an
riz tn Iniuns plump up t. III house, an
then they scalped tn family. But t tell
the homes truth ! alters wondered how the
Dickens them Injuns got down ag'In, an
somehow r other my Of nan never he'd
time L explain that part of t 10 me-
Jerry, do you believe every word of
that storyl Don't you think your father
might have been reading Muncbausenl'
asked Judge R,dgwsy.
WAL, no, jcdge, can't hardly We've
all of I, but ! D'lieve tn biggest part Of
I. becaze my father were jest like me-he
wouldn't lie Ter any price. An then B.
sides, Jedge, know suthin bout groWin'
trees m'self. 1e seen Uncle Joseph, he
he'd some powerful grown soil on his farm
in Jarsey. 'Tvore bully soil fer trees. !
He couldn't afford + keep no dog cause |
he he'd S many bJats L cat all there was |
IN tn house. He he'd some CROWN trees, |
though. an he usety jest keep chunk o.
that bark in tn house, an | swon ef thet 1
ark didn't keep away ail tn burglars I'm |
a Iier. One day N uncle be CIT down one /
o. them thar trees an me aG' my Cous1- /
sam, We toak our Jack-kDives an Gu. lot /
o tn spllnlers inter toC,hpicks- Wall. |
We forgot an left en- a layIn' on our front 1
pIazzer, an in III mCrrin' thet hull pile /
o tooihplcks he'd growed 81 blg lhet We
carted 'em t Newton ah' sold EN- for tele. |
graph poles, at two dollars apiece, an then
they he'd Z saw 'em in two afOre they |
could use 'em. Yes, know them t. be 1
facts, cause l were thar m'self.
"My Uncle Joseph, ez I were sayin',
he'd tn misfortun' = be poerer nor jobs
turkey. He were a com'cal talkn' OF |
man, too. Wall, he Tied a town charge, |
leas, wise IL township o Montague paid |
Is beard ang afterwards footed tn bills |
fer lis fun'Tsl 's7enses One day he were |
took sick III Asher's sloon, an tn fust |
thing he said were; III bet ten cents I'm
gom' ter dle' Why the boys sez, sez
they, how do ye feel, Mister Joseph
Kinder shaBy ike, be sez, sez ne, an
III die afore sundOwn. III bet anythink |
When they said they'd fetch Doctor Mar
tise he SEE, seZ he: Don't take any
trouble he seZ, but when kick tn |
bucket jest plant me quietly an 'th0ut |
much pertentIons Z Style Bimeby it |
II struck i'm thet il were stOrmin.
There sez he, disguised Ike, 4 KnoWed |
it'd be jest my luck L haYe such beastly |
measly weather fer my fun'ral. Wall, |
l-,,r.- -.
got took i III GENTRY with a brass ban |
an tip-an-ye-see-top style fun'ral pro- |
cosh, or whether went up lone along |
with tn driver
"They was only two men n standIn' |
round when all this yere were a goln' oD,
an tn'ly 81 Townley he seZ, SEE he, 'AIn't |
ye got no prop'ty t dispose Off WAL, >
sez Uncle Joseph, sez he, 4 reckon thar's |
a pair o hutes, an a suit O. OF workin' |
clos an nine cents in cash. spase 1
ought TO hev will and pint execuuoners,
but then, as | remarked afore. | don't |
want 70 foclin' round, so We kin divide
tn things up atween you two. But boys
this durn talkin' S maxim me weak, I'd
like swaller o some o. Asher's LIQUOR.
some o thet thar into III fancy glass de-
canter.' Wall they brung tn OF chap a
tumbler full o Asher's best an he downed
it like drum major. Then he smacks
is lips sn' sez, seZ he: IF l weren't a
goin' L die this afternoon III be switched
if wouldn't lay in stock o. thet liquor.
lis tn best I've fetched m lips to slncc
lice were pup
wall, arter he'd got the brandy inter
is system, Hank asked i'm ef he felt any
better nor he did afore lie got The liquor.
Thet made Uncle Joseph madder'n March
hare, an he SCI, sCz ne: 'Ye durn fool
dye s'pose dyn' man kin feel better?
Dye s'pose I'd be Ioafin' round here eff
l weren't goin' [ expirei ALI that minds
me. When go up tn spout, one o. you
fellers jest step over L Jedge RiJgway-
he's the poornaster-an' tell I'm Joseph's
gone higher, an tell I'm Z send some one
'rouud 5 quick S possible t plant III re.
mains so S they won't be ia AsheI's wsv.
will YET l didn't want Z get took slck
here an poster asher in this way, but then
tz 1 shall kick tn tucket pretty soon, ]
Won. frrttl 10 lYpa - x,,x- F,,,nb