The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-05-10
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
THE man who is corned is very apt to
rot On b;a aor and stalk off.

THE man who is corned is very apt to
get on his ear and stalk oil.
A MAN eats cloves between acts so that
not breath OF suspicion may be cast on
his temperance character.
ALWAYS look on the bright side; q
mighty ugly hired girl can ring the bell
Tor a mighty good dinner.
IT MAY be said Of the "belle OF the
ball" that when she bows assent to an
invitation to the dance, "she stoops to
concur"
BARTEypERs are the most sociable set
on earth. They break the ice Oft
ener and finer than anybody.-B.oon'-
ington Eye.
DoN'T throw away your old hour..bar-
rels. They are useful. 1t has been
found that an ordinary four-barrel will
hold 67S,900 silver dollars.
WHEREIN is the average church con-
gregation better than the highwayman?
Does it not make the poor preacher
stand and deliver every Sunday
"TaE muses. kiss with lips Of flame"
saws recent poet of the new order.
Then we are thankful that we are not
courting any OF the muses. just now.
We don't wish to have our mustache,
burned off,
"You just ought to see how I was pay
ing attention to Miss Flapjack out at the
picnic" "Did you speak to her p ~
no 1 didn't proceed to that extreme,
but patted her poodle dog on the back
when she wasn't looking. Austin Sttt-
ings.
"DEAR, dearl" exclaimed Mrs. Brown.
81 have Just been over to see Clara.
Poor child! She is dying of ennui. "
"Why, how you talk!'' cried Mrs. Home
spun; then, adding as she moved away
from her visitor: "Mercy! 'Tain't ketch-
in, is itp'
, GENTLEMEN Of the jury" said o
blundering counsel, in suit about lot
of hogs, "there were just thirty-six in
the drove Please remember the fact
thirty-six hogs; just three times as many
us in that jury box, gentlemen" That
counsel didn't gain his case.
The lecturer began: "There is for
tune lying in wait" Up jumped q
bullet-headed fellow in the northeast
corner to remark: "Well guess you're
bout right, there, mister. There's Bill
, Jones, the butcher Three years age
, he wasn't wuth dollar. He's got {
{ fortin now. Got it, as you say, by ly
: ing in weight" The bullet-headed mai
Q said no more, but the lecturer was i'll o
: ease during the entire evening.-Bosto'
J Transcript.
:, SHE was bright eyed and rosy checked
= in fact, very pretty. She arranged tw,
/ car seats so that she might have abund
ant room. Then she opened her boo
satchel and began to take notes OF he
morning lesson. How charming to sc
the young female mind develop, though
~ we. She took notes just three minutes
Ill and then, oh, horrors she unfolded
y flash story paper and read slush for ha
is an hour. Her beauty faded 30 rapid
g. that when she left the car We though
40 she was the plainest person we eve
Is saw.
o. o. "GooD morning, Fogg," said Brow
P. briskly. "How did you like the opel
81 81 last night?" Oh $3.50, answered Fogt
% 20 moodily; "nothing striking about i
D, ., excepting the drum-sticks." "Comt
y: w come" returned Brown, "be serious
S S,s Didn't you think that bravura passae
no 10 pizzicato and appogiatura embellisl
an ~, ments were lovely!" "Guess Ididr
Su see it," replied Fogg as before; " the
hhy was only feathers and flowers and thin
no IN, Oh the one in front Of me-" "What q
, VI you talking about manp" exclaim
re Brown. "That girls hat, Of court
" Wasn't you?" "Good morning." Sc
=, Brown, as he turned the corner.