Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-05-04
PUSGRNT PARAGRAPHS.

The fiattering tAffy-giver should haves
q sugar-coated tongue.
Hope never dies. OF course the un-
dertaker has no interest in hope.
Coal is very dark in appearance.
though it is often light in weight.
Ilove the summer" as the boarding
school girl said when she eloped with
her arithmetic teacher.
A Brooklyn man advertises powder
to "cure cats and dogs of somnambu-
lism." 1t is put in q gun.
1t is fearfully true that an ape in vel
vet is Just as much ape as an ape in
rage, but the world don't think 80.
How may burglars be kept out of
any house? BY leaving the valuables
out at night on the front door steps.
Why il a doctor better taken care Of
than his patients7 Because when he
goes to bed somebody is sure TO rap
hin up.
What is love p asks an exchange.
Love. my friend, is thinking that you
and the girl can be an eternal picnic to
eacl other.
Why is church bell more affable
than q church organ? Because one
will go when it's tolled, but the other
will be "blowed A" first.
There is nothing marvellous about
curing by laying on hands. Hands laid
on smartly and vigorously have cured
many smart boys of badness.
As you travel around the country
You are more impressed with the con-
viction that the chief end of man is 10
paint patent medicine signs on the
fences.
Somehow, the ugliest man always
wants to marry the prettiest woman
He is Justly proud of his own good
taste, but how mortified he must feel
over his wiie's.
In the temple OF fame, il is said.
there is niche for every honest man
but the truth compels us to add that in
that same temple there are . great many
inches to let.
II am beside myself" said Lorenzo.
as he stood by portrait of himself in
the artists studio. at isn't the first
time though, Lorenzo" sighed his wife
in martyr tones.
Italians emigrate from Italy to the
United States with the fixed idea OF
making fortune by picking mp gold
in the streets. Arriving, they sweep
the streets for 1t.
1t is pleasant 10 remember that not
an hour passes in the increasing march
OF time that there is not a half-dressed
man somewhere on the face of the earth
calling for q shirt.
PA" asked little Johnny, "what
does the teacher mean by saying tha. I
must have inherited my bad temperY'
"She meant, Johnny, that you are your
mothers own boy"
A small boy, who vas playing tIuant
the other day. when asked IL he wouldn't
get whipping when he got home, re-
piled: "What is Ave minutes licking
to five hours of iun2'
beautiful thoughts are the desert Of
tho mind" So they are, but the beanti-
ful thought that you can never get tho
s25 you loaned is constant reminder
Of the desert in your pocket
The crew OF the British bark Alexan-
der ran short OF provisions and lived
on half glass OF water each daily for
q number of days We've known lots
Of men 10 live on less water daily than
that.
vii not ssk II thou cAnsl toneh
The tuaeInl livery hey
Those silent notes Of thine aTs sueA
As quite saface lor ma
III make M question 70 ghy skin
The pencil compFehends,
Raough co. me, lore. II thoa slill
Canst drAw-.-thy dividsadA
The young Kate Shelly. who saved
an Iowa train near Boone by her cou-
ragsoas and heroic efforts : year OF two
ago. i engaged 10 10 married % tho
conductor Of the train she saved. Nov
you'll end every woman In she State cut
stopping rAilgnad trains and trying 10
pretend they're saving them. It's going