davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31

THE HIGH HAT.-The ordinary high hat has generally been denounced as a grievous imposition of fashion, but it has at last been turned to a really useful purpose. The Swiss Federal Council was at it's wits end to know what to do with the requests for invitations to the St. Gothard festivities, and there were "6OO gentlemen at least" whose claims were undeniable, but all of whom the Council did not see it's way to feeding and lodging for three days" In this emergency the Council has intimated that "cylinder hats and black coats will be de rigteatr," and this costume is so abhorrent 60 Switzers that many will stay away rather than wear the hat.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
WIT AND WISDOM.

IF THE doctor orders bark, has not the patient right to growl?
 You can look for warm weather when the fly begins to put on his specs.
 IF you are so terribly nervous that every stupid thing you see frightens you, avoid the looking glass.
 ToMArE's mother had gone to the dentist to get some molars filled, and Tommie told visitor that she had gone to get her teeth stuffed.
 A MAN who wauts his wife to love and respect him will never make the mistake of putting his feet into her slippers. Years of devotion will not wipe out the insult.
 A BOSTON paper is in "favor of women voting if they want to-" We would like to see the man that would make them vote if they didn't want to. -NeO Fork MaiI.
 SAID Mrs. Gallagher, 'T think it is wrong to make these soda f, u .a;ns so shiny, white and dazzling. They don't trouble me, but I've observed that my husband can never look at one without winking. ."-BoSton Post
 THERE is 0 certain way of distinguish ing man from head waiter at swell party, notwithstanding both may be dressed the same. The waiter generally has towel on his left arm, and the man generally has young lady there, If he is agreeable. .-Picayu,ae.
 A DISTINGUISHED lady having pur- chased dog from worthy vender, in- qulred its name. "William," the man responded, after some hesitation. "Wil- liam Is not that very odd name ? "Well, ma'am, we calls him Bill," said the man, "but didn't like to say that to the likes O you." ACCOMMODATIONS for six = Moses Schamburg has heen annoyed by bur glars prowling about his residence on the upper end of Austin avenue. YesS terday he went into gun shop to buy pistol. "What kind of weapon do you want ?" ''I would like one," said MOse, mlt ACCOMMODATIONS LOT SIX burglars. "-Te1as Siftiags. A ST. LOUIS burglar broke into house where a high toned wedding had oc- cured and stole the silverware that had been given as presents to the happy couple. The next day, after he had tried several pawnshops, he wrote an insulting letter to the bridegroom, ac- cusing him of palming off plated ware on to an innocent burglar, and telling him where he could find his confounded pot-metal in the lumber-yard. The man went and got his presents, and he says he will whip the burglar on sight.
 "PoRTER," said a passenger from Albany, on the New York Central Rail- road, as he stepped into his sleeping berth, ''call me at Lyons, sure." "All right, sah." Late next morning he called him. "Only twenty minutes from Buffalo, sah." "Why didn't you call me at Lyons ?" "LyonsP Fore goodness, dat's it You did say Lions for suah, boss, an done fought, ober the whole circus, an hope to die of l could ketch onto any animile higher dan Buffalo! I'll remember de cage next time, boss.".
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
The Feeling in Ireland.

A cable dispatch from London to the Herald says:
 nEvictions of tenants for non-pay- ment of rent have been resumed in many parts of Ireland. The sadness and as- tonishment following the assassinations of the Irish Secretaries had the effect of stopping for time the work of agita- tion. Taking advantage of the situation, the process servers again prepared to oust tenants in arrears. In County Galway alone 300 tenant-farmers have been evicted within week, and the work still goes on. While the national organizations are yet in dread of making any overt opposition, the measures oi repression proposed in Parliament are creating revolution of feeling through out the country. There was 8 desire and hope that the murderers might be brought to justice, but now the grow ing feeling is that Parliament is deter mined to believe, no matter what hap. pens, that there are no good traits o1 lender feelings in Irishmen, and means
 push oppression and coercion to ex. tremlties.
 "The result is that the fire of revolu. tionary sentiment, which has been per. mitted to shoulder, has been rekindled by the action of the Commons on the Repression bill. Already murmurs oi discontent and dissatisfaction are heard at the course pursued by MT. Parnell. The disclosures made voluntarily by the Irish leader, and those forced by MT. Forster, have had very bad effect, and truce will not be tolerated by the mass of people engaged in the agitation. The feeling gains ground that MT. Paraells opportunity to distinguish himself is slowly slipping away. The people are not in favor of any com promise with the Government, which means complete pacifcation. The revolutionary organization, which Is a very large body both in Ireland and in England, wants all it can get for Ire land. Every favorable measure pro. posed and adopted is acceptable, but 'more' is the cry, and more will be demanded until home rule is granted; and then many of them will insist on complete separation from England in fact, Irish independence and arepubli. can form of government.
 Mir. Parnell is not a member of the Irish revolutionary organization. Itwas not, and is not, politic that he should be, but the opinion of the Nationalists is that if he should continue to be the Irish leader, he must push forward without looking back and without com. promise or agreement that contem plates cessation of the Nationalist move. ment. The disclosure already made concerning what, to some minds, ap. pears to be Irritation with Mir. Glad. stone, are disliked, and even excite dis trust"
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
HAwKEYE DOTS.

THERE is only one way to prevent the Indians from breaking out-don't shut them in.
 MIR. MIDD1ERIB calls his straw hat Saratoga" because it's "summery sort" So is police judge.
 CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER writes from Palermo that brigandage is at an end in Sicily, "the brigands having gone to keeping hotels, and thus takeit out of the traveller in legal but more thorough manner"
 els there anything" writes MT. Old boy, "that will make the hair grow on bald heads ?" Indeed, and indeed, brother Oldboy, there is not. If the hair would grow on them they would not be bald.
 THERE was really one good thing de- veloped in all this Jesse James worship. Until that awful display of public bandit worship, it was never generally under stood why natives of Missouri were called Pukes."
 ON the 4th of May the U. 5. man-of- war Brooklyn was run into by steam tug and cut down to the waters edge, Tn the harbor of Montevideo. The fact is, the U. s. navy should not be exposed in this way. Whenever it goes out alone it always gets into trouble. They should send man with it, when it travels, or else put it in the care of the conductor.
 A MAN in Upper Canada last week poured kerosene over the bed in which his wife and child lay sleeping and set it on fire. Now, that man has an op- portunity, if he will only improve it. He should go to Missouri and endeavor to win the place of the idolized Jesse James in the hearts of the people. It will be hard thing to i'll that cherished niche, but this gentle-hesrted Canadian hero seems to have the right material in him.
 SOME heartless wretch broke into q farmers house the other night and moved the bottoms of all his strawberry boxes nearly four inches nearer the lower end. The perpetrators of tbis brutal outrage should be made tc suf1e1 fox n. \ ICY oan M found.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31

Nor A CAND1DATE.-St Stilson Hutchins, editor of the Washington Post and Con- cord (N. H. Union, writes "Mr, Til den said to us some weeks ago that he would not accept the nomination for Governor this year for fee simple title to the State of New York, and that he had no more intention of being a candi- date for President in 1884 than he had of becoming an applicant for the throne of Russia."
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31

CHINESE WAYs.-A Chinaman who WAS defeated by some of hls relatives in a suit at law concerning burial ground murdered three of his opponents. The criminal was sentenced to death, but it IS principle of Chinese law that the punishment shall be as far as possible commensurate with the crime, and &C., cordingly the criminals wife was sent into penal servitude, and his son was condemned to mutilation. His daugh- ter, luckily for herself, was engaged to be married, and she was accordingly delivered to the family of her betrothed to be married when she comes of age otherwise she would have had to share her mot fhersa fnfa.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
Satisfied.

The following story illustrates the probative force of the duello:
 A young man has been "out" and has been run through the lungs, so that, after spending nineteen weeks in bed, he is able to sit up and the doctors think he may live three or four years, provided he is very careful and spends the win ters in 8 tropical climate
 He receives the congratulatory visit of friend who, having been absent from the country, knows nothing of the circumstances of the quarrel.
 'How was it, eh ?''
 "Well, I'll tell you. You see Loubull said I was an internal thief. Of course I couldn't rest under such in imputa, tion. I called him out, and"-with pride-"he made me the amends that a gentleman of honor should"
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
THE COUNTERSIGN WAS MARY"

HE COUN N1EnOIGN WdS MAhI. Twas near the break of day, but still The moon was shining brightly; The west wind as it passed the flowers Bet each one swaying lightly; The sentry slow paced to and fro A faithful night-watch keeping, While in the tents bebind him stretched His comrades-all were sleeping. Slow to and fro the sentry paced,
 His musket on his shoulder, But not thought of death or war Was with the brave young soldier. An no bis heart was far away
 Where, on Western prairie, A rose-twined cottage stood. That night The countersign was "Mary." And there his own true love he saw, Her blue eyes kindly beaming, Above them, on her sun-kissed brow, Her curls like sunshine gleaming, And heard her singing, as she churned The butter in the dairy, The song he loved the best. That night The countersign was "Mary," ] "ob, for one kiss from her p he sighed, When, up the lone road glancing, He spied form, little form,
 With falt'ring steps advancing, And as it neared him silently \.l He gazed at it in wonder; Then dropped his musket to his hand, And challenged: "Who goes yonder ? Still on it came. "Not one step more, Be you man, child, or fairy, Unless you give the conntersign.
 Halt! Who goes there2 "'Tis Mary, /" sweet voice cried, and in his arms The girl he'd left behind him Half fainting fell. Ger many miles She'd bravely toiled to find him. heard that you were wounded, dear," She sobbed; "my heart was breaking; could not stay moment, but,
 All other ties forsaking, travelled, by my grief made strong, Kind Heaven watching OCT me, Until Unhurt and well?" "Yes, love. ,, "-At last you stood before me. They told me that could not pass The lines to seek my lover Before day fairly came but
 Pressed on ere night was over, And as told my name, found The way free as our prairie" Because, thank God tonight" he said, The countersign is Mary"
 MARGARET EYTINeE.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31

A MISSOURI WIFE.-Edward Rosner's wife deserted him five days after the marriage at Pennington, Mo-, drove him to suicide by her heartless per6dy, and married his rival the day after be- coming widow yet she claims his en- tire estate. and will get it, there being m oEl1ar haSra, x 3s
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
LLLLLES.

In the baby's tiny fist, Tightly held and softly kissed, The Lilies.
  In the maiden's golden hair, Breathing perfume on the air, The Lilies. In the snowy bridal wreath, Shading happy face beneath, The IIillies. In the chambers of the dead, Grown with grace the lifeless head, Ye Lilies.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
A Curious Problem.

A correspondent of KeoaOledge having asked how much space would be re- quired on the earth, on the assumption that, beginning with single pair, the human race had multiplied during 5000 years at the rate of thirty children to
 each pair, sons and daughters being born alternately, and each husband and wife being at the time of marriage respectively twenty.one and twenty years old-there being also no deaths the editor replied that the population, taking thirty for each pair at the average age of forty years, would be 2,199, ,915. followed by Al digits, which might be represented without ap- preciable inexactness by ciphers. Now, assuming that ten persons could stand on surface one yard square, 30, 900, GOO could stand on square mile, and on the entire earth, whose surface is about 2OO,OOO,OOO square miles, some 5000 millions of millions. Dividing the num- Der just obtained by this, the result is 3,666, ,526, followed by 125 ciphers. It would require this inconceivable num- Der of worlds like our own for the population on the assumptions made.
 Let us see, says MT. Proctor, how large single globe would suffice to give standing room to this population, ten to the square yard. Such globe must have a diameter exceeding the earth's as the cube root of the above quantity exceeds unity, or roughly, as seven followed by forty-three ciphers exceeds unity. (Ln reality it will be larger con- siderably, but this is near enough in such problem as the presently Now the diameter of the orbit of Neptune, roughly, exceeds the earth's diameter nearly 100000 times. Hence the diameter of the required globe exceeds the diameter of Neptune's orbit more than hundred billions of billions of billions of times. Supposing the furthest star visible in the great Rosse telescope to lie some thirteen or four teen millions of times further from us than the nearest, which lies about 1 10000 times further than Neptune, the distance of that star, 1000, ,0OO, 900, ,0OO times further than Neptune Cor a light-journey of some forty millions of years), would be but the 100, 900, 900, 900, 900, 900, 900, ,OOo, O0Oth part of the radius of such globe as would be required to hold the popula- tion we are considering. A sphere having radius equal to 100 millions oi years ight-journey would not suffice even to contain so many human beings.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31
Connecticut Western News.
 PUBLISHED AT CANAAN, LlTGHFiELD C0UATY, CT. EVERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING. J. B. HARDENBERGH, Editor md Pro pr C.1@s-1A~r
Local News a Speciality.
TERMS {:

S15O PER YEAR, if pad strictly in advance If not paid at the expiration of three months, S2 will be charged.
 Subscribers desiring their papers continued must give notice at the EXPIRATION of their subscriptions. any previous natice not being suficent and unless al arrearages are paid, pspers will not thea be discontinued save at the option of the publisher.
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31

BLACK DIAMONDS. In 1881 164, 164,, 300 tons Of coal were mined in HnelNnd
Connecticut western news., 1882-05-31

FRANCE. Of 92O, LIT children born in France in 1880 6S, ,227 were inegiti-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

The irrepressible Don Henderson floats at
the head of his editorial columns, in the
Alegan J0arho', the following legend
"Por President in 1854, Chester A. Arthur
OF New York" He considerably adds there
10 the following very proper proviso: Sub
iect TO the decision of the Republican Ma
tional Convention" Isn't it a little early in
The season Bro. Don? We know that presi-
Dental candidates are a kind of fruit that
ripens early, but sometimes as consequence
thereof they are subject to premature decay
However it will be quite feather TO stick in
your political cap, if you shall have chance
10 say that the Journal was the first paper
in the State to hoist the name of the sue
cessful man.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23
The symptoms OF Itching Piles are moisture,

The symptoms OF Itching Piles are moisture,
like perepiraton, intense itching most at night !,
seems as IL PIN worms were crawling IN or
about the rectum. The more you scratch the
worse they itch; very distressing. The pri-
vate parts are often affected. DIR Swayne's
Ontn ent is the most effective remedy eItant
for this tormenting complaint. Gives rest at
night without that desire TO scratch. Also has
Salt "a kheum. Erysipelss' Bsrbsrs Itch PmpIes
all Scaly, Crusty, Itchy Skin Eruptions. Here
is the proof: "Certainly the best remedy ever
used in nv practice" DR.. Cotton. Woodstock,
VT: Troubled with Itching Piles for over
twenty years, 1t cured me completely" l.. 4.
Messer. Enfield, Me. Sent for 90 cts. Gin CT.
stsmps), 3 boxes, si.25. BY DIR. Swsyne &
Son. Philadelphia, Pa. Sold bv ali Druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

many and varied are the sources Of pleasure
open TO the farmer whose work brings him
30 constantly in contact with nature in her
frequent and beautiful changes. Every Ia
borer should find enjoyment in trying to dc
his work skilfully; in economizing time and
strength, and in making his home and sur
roundings as cheerful, comfortable and in
viting AZ possible.
The popular amusements of our day us
ually draw 30 heavily on time, health and
purse, that the man or woman who has any
worthy object in life, cannot afford to be
amused.
able by constantly fretting because we are
obliged to work, and mourning because we
are not rich enough to live in idleness and
have some one to amuse US.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

A Large Assortment OF KENSINGTON
PATTERNS for Stamping.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

PERFUMES POWDERS, BRUSHES, ROSE
WATER, GLYCERlNE. and ali kinds OF
TOILET ARTICLES.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

large will have TO pay. There are many
other reasons why the system should not he
abolished, but if there were not its economy
would DO a sufficient reason to retain il,
rather than TO convert the government into
vast political banking machine.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

The Men York Times predicts Republi-
can majority of 81 members in the next
House. And now comes the augusta ga.
Chroniele, and AYERS that Republican esti
mates are dangerously reliable. just 30.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

We extend a friendly greeting TO l.. s.
Russell, the recent purchaser of the Adcdnct'
and are glad TO see that he interprets that
word in its broadcast Specification. We pre-
sumo that, under his management, the paper
will prove still more worthy of its name.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23
+" NOW I SEE '"

So said the blind man after the Savior had
healed him. Actual blindness is not easy 10
cure, although it is sometimes done. But re-
member that disease Of the eyes often results
from impure blood. II you have any reason
to think your bad eyes may have come from
this cause, lose not an hour OF time IN buying
bottle OF DR.. David Kennedy's "Favorite
Remedy" which will cost you only One Dollar
and take it to cleanse your blood. You car
implicitly trust it to do this. Or drop a line to
DR.. David Kennedy, Rondout, n. Y. State
your case fully and get the Doctors opinion
free.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23
A GOOD FOUNDATION.

In American households the prevailing cem-
plants are weakness of the stomach and it's
consequences, Indigestion, Nervousness and
rheumatism. Such sufferers can lay good
foundation for health by using Parkers Ginger
Tonic as it tones up the stomach and nerves,
and keeps the kidneys active 10 carry off the
foul matter.-N. o. Picayune.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

Van Buren, county is entitled to Ia dele
gates in the Republican State Convention to
I've held at Kalamazoo, on Wednesday, Aug
3oth next.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

All kinds OF Threads, Yarns, Silks and visits,
Braids Honitos Laces, Etc. Everything need
ed for Fancy Work.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

Go to Duncombe, stoarns & Co.'S for Mrs.
Frseman's New Nat ional Dyes. For bright
ness and durability OF color are unsqusled.-
Color from TO five pounde. Directions in
English and German. Price Is cents.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

For Congressman, 4th Congressional Dis
trict, Hon. julius @. Burrows.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23

Guiteau makes his last appearance on the
platform, Just one week from to-day.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-06-23
BEWARE OF INVITATIONS.

DIV hHr OI INII IhEIONE'
The delicate odor Of Floreston Cologne is en-
tirely novel. Look for signature OF Hiscox &
Co., N. Y, on each bottle.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-11-25
MISSING LINKS.


A man named Dunlap requested Theo-
dore Hook to make punning sllusion to
his name. Well, just lop off the last
syllable" responded the wit, and it's
Dun.
Two Italian oarsmen have rowed all the
way from Rome to Paris in an outrigger.
They went by way of the Mediterranean
and the rivers Rbone, Saone Bourgogne
and Seine, the journey occupying three
months.
It is estimated that the Cornell Uni
,versity students destroyed nearly 500
worth of property Halloween night. The
largest destruction was that of the wooden
bridge on University avenue. No arrests
were made.
From the Investigations Of naturalists it
would appear that the trout lives to a green
old age. An instance is given of trout,
domesticated in an English well, having at
tanned the age Of nearly forty years, though
it's weight never exceeded two pounds.
1t is common thing for country editors
to take their pay in squashes, pumpkins
and other products of the farm, but it has
been left for Kentucky editor to offer q
six months subscription TO the donor of
VIC lei SS0S pLuiPhiu y4o DGbWSGl now aGu
Christmas.
i popularity of the Wilmington,
Wrightsyille and Onslow Coast Railroad
Company IN North Carolina is that it is
owned by colored men and will be operated
exclusively by them. E F. Martin. an
enterprising colored man of Wilmington, is
the manager.
Apropos of the pronunciation of Whit
tiers Maud Muller" we quote the fol-
lowing from letter to the Boston Journal,
which settles the matter Last GUNNER
l met Mr.. Whittier. and in answer to the
same question, which has been asked me
scores of times, Mr.. Whittier replied that
the family whose name suggested the word
to him pronounced their name Muller.
They were Hessians."
She heard burglar coming in the front
door. She sprang from bed, seized the
washbowl, pitcher, bootisck, and fat
iron, and waited for the intruder. Her aim
was good. Picking himself up from the
floor the burglar beat hassy retreat. Her
husband limped into the house the follow
ing morning in time for breakfast and as.
sured her that he shsuld never again return
from the lodge before midnight. His scars.
are indelible though.