Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-02-11

| GEORGE WASHINGTON never bOlO u
lie; but it must be remembered that he
eutereo politics when the country was
new.
If the papers keep on they will make
| out all our great generals in the war to
be great liars. Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
GENEROUS to fault" may be said OF
many men. At least, they are generous
enough to their own fBults. s.-LoWeu
Citizen.
THE facetious postage-stamp clerk
who told man that asked for two twos
that this was not an fe sthetic post-ofiice,
is now looking for new situation.
The editor wrote, "The showers last
! week, though copious, were not sufti.
cient to meet the wants OF the mill
men," and the compositor set it up
milkman."
A VERMONT couple have married after
a courtship of twelve years, during
which time the brides father has put
seven sets of hinges on the front gate
Boston Post.
BENEvoLENGE belts the wlseSt m nd:
Bnt he who has not studied to be kind,
VINO grants for asking, gives without rule,
Hurts whom he helps. and proves himself
fool
The intelligent compositor left ont
the letter d in a paragraph about
beautiful actress, and informed the pub
lie that crows fiocked to see her wher-
ever she went.
PROUD mamma-" Don't you think
dear baby's the image of his pa?" Dull
but wsll-meaning family friend--"Well,
perhaps he is-but dare say he'll out
grow it in time"
DEAR girls, whenever a young man
gets so soft that he can be dipped up
with spoon, the best thing for you to
do is to dip him up and pour him out
over the back fence. ce.--SteubenUitte Her
aid.
BoLpNEss and firmness, these are virtues each.
Noble in action. excellent in speech.
But who il bold, without considerate skill,
Rashly rebels. and has 10 law but viii;
While he called firm. illiterate and cross.
With mulish stubbornness obstructs the pass.
A DRUGGIST of Bolton Falls, VT, has
been sent TO prison for sixty days. 60 for
selling liquor as beverage" Wonder
what they would have done with him
il he had sold it as a liver pad or a wash
for removing freckles -Teras Siftings.
A GENTLEMAN of Ottawa gave an
order for a silver mounted claret jug to
a Montreal dealer, instructing him to
send it by express marked @. O. ID. A
couple OF days ago the jug arrived, en-
graved in beautiful large letters, &c.
o. D."
AN ambitious editor of an amateur
journal at Elkhart, Ind, announces
that the purpose of his paper is ''to re-
store to the public its wonted grandeur
and prosperity" 1t is proper to mem
ton incidentally that he proposes to do
this for fifty cents year.
A MIDpLErowN plumber was ST.
posed to be crazy the other day w
was seen on the street clawing h
wildly with both hands and feet, blu =
was only trying to make German en-
ployee, who had not learned our Ian
guage, understand that he wanted a
step-ladder.
THE delight which some men take in
''figgering" on job was illustrated by
an artist who was called in to paint
cellar door. Taking out card and
pencil stub he wet the latter and said
''Twice two is two, and naught's q
naught. I'll paint that ere door fur
dollar N 'alf.
"WHAT time is it, my dear ?" asked
wife of her husband, whom she sus-
pecte of being drunk, but who was do
ing his best to look sober "Weil, my
darling, L can't tell, cause you see
there are two hands on my watch, and
each points to different figure, and ]
don't know which to believe"
THERE is a man in Louisville who car
not get prompt service to his bell at hi
hotel. The other night he gave vic
lent ring at midnight. Shortly after
the servant answered it. 81 don't want
ANYTHING now," said the fellow; ~ ring
now III order to get it on file. Bring
me hot water at in the morning. -
| Courier Journal.
"WHEN a woman gets frightened at
night, she just pulls the bedclothes over
her head, says she is terrified out OF her
wits, and goes to Sleep" says one who
| knows "but with man it is different.
He says he is not afraid, pushes the
clothes down, aud lies tremblingly
awake for two or three hours, straining
his ears at every sound"
AN ex-State Senator of Colorado,
while recently IN New York rode up to
Central Park to see the obelisk. He I'M
mediately understood why the Govern
ment brought it here. He said it
showed that the Egyptians had re-
corded on it the fact that they used the
same kind of cattle marks that are EN-
ployed by the Mexicans.
Dip it ever stwike you, gentle wea.
dah. that no noah beautiful poem than
How does my lady's garden gwow,"
was evah witten? How twooly tendah
and lovely are those pwecious lines,
With silvah bells and cookie shells,
and pwitty maids all in wow." How
twoo, how tendah, how consummately
deucedly pwecious. CH-sssstsaa- mon
'IsN'r the moon beautiful this even
. ing?" said Alonzo, as he snuggled his
: arm Just as close upon hers as ne could.
! ''Y-yes, but [ know another moon that
is perfectly ecstactic in its loveliness.
"Do YOU? What moon is that, ducky z
Z 7 cts the honeymoon, Alonzo, and dom
! you think it is about time for us to have
! - 81 Tho oa-dc oro ont - Nom HTve1