The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1882-06-08

oring for one With hip pocket
Nor. Herdh.
A lazy man sp, lis your work, dis
appoints your expectations, oxhausts
your patience eats up your sno~
stance abuses your confidence
and hangs dead weight upon al'
your plans and the very best thing
man can do with lazy nau is to
get r,d of him.
Yes said the farmer, "barbed
wire fenco is expensive, but the
hired man doesn't stop and rest for
five minutes on the top of it ever!
time ho has to climb it,
Au exchange remarks that no man
can afford to make fool Of himself.
Our contemporary fogets however,
tha, some men are utterly reckless Of
expense.
A boy defined salt as "tbe stuff
that makes potatoes taste bad When
you don't put it on Ho was twin
brother of the boy who said that
pins had saved great numbers OF
Ives by not being swallowed,
Recent boarding house statistics
lead to tue conclusion that butter
was invonted by Mr.. Strong, Of an
ciont Greece.
Clergymen, who has caught boy
stealing : "Don't you know that tho
devil gets naughty little boys .''
Boy know it now.'
A Now York jewoler has sold
$1,000 pair of garters. Tho pur"
chaser must anticipate very wet
weather and extremely sloppy
streets this summer.
Tho first circus started out from
Putnam county, n. y, in 1927 or
lS2s. We supposed tho circus jokes
Of 1882 wero much older than fifty
four years.
The Englishman enjoys fox-hunt-
ing more than any other kind of
work. Ho has horse to carry him,
and dog to DO tho smelling, aud n
servant to kill aud skin the fox.
Here rests his head upon the lap
OF earth youth to fortuno and
fame unknown. Too much benzine
crept underneath his girth, and
played tho mischief with his. ton,
perate zone.
Tho hrmor who "rau rapidly thro'
his property" wore a rcd shirt, and
had his brindlo bull behind him.
The old lady camo dowr to break
fast in q bad humor, aud sharply ad'
dressing her sou, said Charley,
did you loave that whisky bottle on
tho parlor table .'' "No, | guess dad
left it," "Nhy, do you think your
fatho, loft it p cause it's emp
tyr
Hs was a fine-looking man, aud ho
proudly strutted down tho sidewalk
with tho air of proprietorship in
every movement. "Beg pardon, sir, =
ta;d stranger IA he stepped mp to
him, hat in hand, in utmost humility,
do have your permission to re-
main in town over night
Clara writes II am thirty years
old aud have novor yet had an offer
of marriage. What are the young
men afraid Of 7" Perhaps Clara $
father has kept n ferocious dog dur
ing the past twelve years. But as
she confesses to being thirty years
old, the man can sell or shoot the
animal now. The danger is now
over.
The latest joke about King Kala-
kama. Of the Sandwich Island, is that
he cannat help being q good man.
Tho reason assigned is that his an
cestors ate so much missionary in
their time that it worked into their
systom, and was transmitted to their
descendants. Missionaries who are
eaten are, after all, not wasted, it
would appear.
swell. my little man, aren't you
barefooted rather early this season''
said benevolent gentleman to n
New Haven youngster this morning.
"Guess not. Wuz born barefoot,
1 wuz." II declare, so you was.
What a pity; what pity. Well
Nature is unkind to the poor, really"
and he gave tho youngster a dime to
atone for the neglect Of the mother
OF us ALL"
A n. II