Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-07-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

i. takes the whole Legislature to
'hangc mans namr. A woman can
,hange hers by the at of single man.
II woa!d box yonr ears" said a
Young lady to her stupid and tiresome
.dmlrcr. If" If what9' he anx-
.ou,ly inquired. III could get box
large enough for the purpose CHE re-
piled.
A Cincinnati lady disguised herself
= Il book a1en, and made twrntv->ix
'allS L, different offices. She SAYS she
'ad no idea that old. gray-h"a'lrd men
.ou!l tell such sweet lies and be SO de-
eiving. Detroit Free Press.
Young man. if you had onr and
wo-thirl tons OF S,il coin, you would
~ worth jI't million dollars. Every
little p;e,r of gold voi get hold Of throw
nto the junk pile until you accumulate
nat weight. lou can then sell it and
'ccome Il rich man.--NcW Haren Rrqis-
,er.
The great apostle of the c>thetcS was
asked the other dly which OF all the n,l-
anrralS he Thought thu most truly bpauti-
tul and scrnn.lv lovely why. four,
% Ge sure he replied with an air of
nrTpreS>ible lanyupr. And whv?"
'>Ae his fair que>iiuncr. ''DrcaaSc it )
wo twoS." And tha! vas all he said
hat day.
A boy who hal alway, refused to
~at oat-meal. in spite of his mo,hcr's :
IrgingS that il was Il strengthening diet,
suddenly surprised her one morning bv
eating liberal p!ateful and calling for
more. Upon his mother asking for an
explanation. he replied: Il am bound
10 eat Oatmeal III | am strong enough
10 whip Johnny scott
- How do you like the character of
St. Paul." asked 4 parSon OF his land
lady one day. during Il conversation
ibou; the saints and apostles. "Ah. he
Na' Il good. clever old soul. know"
replied the landlady, for he once said,
YOU know, that We must eat wha; is set
before us and ask no questions for con-
s.ieace sake. always thought | should
like him for boarder. -N0derm Argo.
Music and Millinery. Good morn
ing. Fogg." said Brown. briskly. .IIow
did yoa like the opera last night?" 80,
$685. answered Fogg. modify; moth
ing striking about il, excepting the
,ir,m-sirkS.' 'Come. comr.' returned
Brown. be serious. Didn't you think
that b:arura passage viii: piahicato and
appogiatnra embellishments were love-
lv?' "Guess didn't see it, answered
fogy. as before; :. there wa; oni, fealh-
ers ani flowers and things on the one in
front of M" What are talking
about. man exclaimed Brown. That
girls hat, of course. Wasn't you?"
= Good morning. said Brown. as he
turned the curnrr.-PucL'.
AT 4 meeting of some colorpd bretn-
rcn it WAS decided to make collection.
The President concluded to pas, the hat
himself. and, in order to rn nuragr the
others. he put in trn-rea. piece. After
the collection. during whi;h every hand
had been in the hat. the President AZ
preached the table. turned the hat up
side down, and hot even hi, own con
tribution dropped ont. He opened his
eyes with a-tonishm"nt. he exclaimed:
- Fo' goodness. but rze cbea lost d. ten
cents | started wilr' Then there was
CONSERVATION on the faces Of the as
sembly. Who wa iii: lucky man? That
was the question. I, was evidently a
hopeless case. and was summed up bv
one brother, vino rose in his place. and
said, soleInly. - Dar pears to be a great
moral lesson roun hcah somewhat"