The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-15
SPOOPENDYkE,
He Wanted His Waterproof,

(From the Brooklyn Eagle.)
"My dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke, pulling
the shams off the bed, where is my-my,
where Is my-you know what ! mean. What
did you do with its''
"Your shawl.strap," asked Mrs Spoopen-
dyke, dropping the baby into the crib, ooh,
l know; your dumb bells. Is that what you
want?"
"Has that shawl.strap got sleeves in it?' de.
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, rensacklng the
sewing machine. Are these duRb-bells split
up the back and torn around the collar? You
know what / want; my rubber overcoat.
Where did you put it." ana Mr.Spoopendyke
pulled pile of letters out of the pigeon-hole
to his wife's desk and spilled them along the
floor.
"Where did you have II last?" murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke, With her finger in her
mouth and CONSERVATION IN her eye.
Had it onv growied Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Where'd We s'pOse had it? Think | had 1t
tor lunch? Don't you know where the meas
ly things got to: Spry around and find it!
Take your finger out of your mouth l don't
suppose It's in therei Get that coat before 1t
clears cup, will ye! and Mr.. Spoopendyke
shook the clock and then peered into the man.
tel vases
II don't believe it's going to rain much,
anyway" faltered Mrs. Spoopendyke, who
couldn't remember having seen the coat for a
month. "When 1t locks like this. it's always
geing to sunshine" and she followed him
around the room in iiutter of apprehension.
got course it isl" snorted Mr. Epoopendykc.
Things are going to do ust what you tell 'em
to do. If you had q lot of tin figures In font
and streak of mercury up your spine, you'd
only need a sheet.lron case and wire handle
to be a barometer! If you'll look along your
measly Information about the weather, p'haps
you'll find that overCOat at the other end of i'll!
Where's that COats Going to let me stand
here. and soak while the moths picnic that
coat into "a shad-netY Take me by the elbow
and lead to the coat" and Mr. Spoopendyke
tipped the sofa over so that he could see un.
der 1t, and then slapped plaster bust Of MI.
aerva against the wall, under the impression
that the coat might have craWled into her ear
ITS the strangest thing IN the worldw gig
glcd Mrs. SpoOpendyke, hysterically. Are
you sure you wore it honey
"lf didn't how'd it get homer roarcd
Mr.. Sp0opeudyke, putting his hands on his
knees and grinning IN his wite's face. "S'pose
II hired hack and drove home? Oh, no! !
didn't wear 1t home. The last | saw of 1t 1t
had its hat over Its ear and female water.
proof on It's arm, piklng up Fulton street at
an alderman's funeral. What're We standing
there for? Got some lndstlnCt notion that
the GOd gasted coat has gone to get shaved,
haven't ye? Who'd yc give 1t to? Been en-.
downing metaphysical char in some kind of
al old woman's home with it, haven't ye.
Where's the coat? Develop the coat before
vItlate'-he Insurance." and Mr. Spoopendyke
kicked his wite's workbasket across the room,
and rammed his arm to the shoulder up the
chimney.
"Do YOU remember where you wore il last ?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, suddenly becoming
calm and analytical
81 wore 1t on my back" protested Mr.
Spoopendyke who didn't remember whether
he had taken it to church or to hospital
Maybe you're under the impression that |
tied it TO a stick and wheeled it along on but
tons! On my back / tell YET On this par
ticular back" and MIR. Spoopendyke almost
broke his arm pointing out the attraction re-
ferred to. Most {alks fit up their rubber
overCOats with htut wire and q focus, and
wear ETA for spectacies, but hadn't time; so
wore it on my back Bring forth the coat!'
yelled Mr. Spoopendyke, spinning around like
top. Fetch ont the measly coat before the |
proprietor OF these premises makes up bis
mind whether he'll build a house here or
mortgage The lot!'
You wore 1t the last dSy it rained, and |
when 1t cleared off IN the afternoon | noticed /
that you had on your spring overcoat," said |
hrs. Spoopendyke. quietly.
Great bead" grunted Mr. Spoopendyke,
beginning to feel uncomfortable, and wonder.
ing how 1t was coming out. with your
perceptive faculties and meteorological educa-
ton, you only need one more leg and clear
night to be q dod gasted street telescope at 10 |
cents peep! Wha. oft? S'pose aid wear
a spring overcoat! It's spring, amt it,"
"And don't know, 4" continued Mrs. Spoop
endyke but think Won had il on over vonr
waterproof ifyou look, you may find the
rubber coat inside of the other now"
MIR. Spoopendyke growled and snoried his