Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-01-08
pIrH AND POINT.

If you had the material, would ia
maica rum punch
In Texas when a man wishes to cut
an acquaintance his procedure is simple
He uses bowie-knife.
ADVICE to married men: Put q safety
valve upon your self-esteem II you 90
not want to get "blown up.
A ST.. LOUIS editor found a nickel IL
the street and wrote haf-eolumn cdr
torial on "Our Increase of Wealth."
"PRIsoNER, have you ever been COM
cicted?" "No, your Honor have
always employed frst-class lawyers"
JONES, getting up from his dinner, IL
a quiet way remarked to his landladg
that he had found everything on the
table cold except the ice-cream.
THE giraffe is q very tinlid animal
His neck is SO long that when his bearrs
comes into his mouth it takes him hall
day to get it back where it belongs.
IT is learned that sharks are very
fond of cats as food. Now let some
body invent method of teaching sharks
to climb over woodshed roofs and back
yard fences.
"BR1LL1ANT and impulsive people,
said lecturer on physiognomy. shave
black eyes, or, if they don't have EN-
they're apt to get them, if they're too
impulsive."
SOME one wrote to Horace Greeley
inquiring if guano was good to put In
potatoes. He said it might do for those
whose tastes had become vitiated with
tobacco and rum, but he preferred gravy
and butter.
LITTLE pair of gloves that yet
Retain the smell Of clover,
And just tnge of mignonette;
turn them vaguely over,
And marvel how the girl kissed
THAT night she promised to be true)
Could jam number seven fist
Into paltry number two.
PLAzE, mum, wud We obige poor
bye wild light? Sure, you've only got
to give one glance of yer purity eye at
me pipe, and it'll shine like the shfars."
He got the light and good dinner be-
side. Moral: Always speak the truth
in presence of the fair sex.
TEACHER Of spelling class "First
boy may spell foot-tub and give defni-
tion." First boy =" F-o-o-t-t-u-b-a
tub to wash the feet in" Teacher
"Second boy may spell knee-pan."
Second boy" K-n-e-e-p-a-n-a pan to
wash the knees in" He didn't 90 up
head.
BEFORE tie marriage,
With wonderous care,
She seeks the mirror,
And bangs her hair.
After the marriage,
With angry glare,
She grabs her slipper,
And bangs her heir.
Nor long ago, in French provincial
theater, a baritone made q fearful croak.
Kisses and laughter in the audience.
Then the artist came gravely forward
and saluted the audience: ''Messieurs,
I discover that I have issued false
note; I Withdraw it from circulation"
A BRIGHT little girl was sent to get
some eggs, and on her way back
stumbled and fell, making sad havoc
with the contents of her basket. "Won't
you catch it when you get home,
thought" exclaimed her companion.
"No, indeed, l WON'T" she answered;
GIVE got O grandmother.
THE East Indian Prince of Gondal is
on the eve Of natrimony. He is to lead
seven happy maidens to the altar all at
once. The troubled life of an East In
dian Prince has its compensations. just
think of it Eight souls with but sin
gle thought, eight hearts that beat as
one Boston Transcript.
"MY gracious, child" said the old
lady to a boy who offered to carry her
sachel for 5 cents, "where did you
get those hands from?" The lad gazed
thoughtfully for moment at his pair
of fippers, that looked like punches Of
young onions, and then answered proud
| ly: 81 belong to the Tontine Baseball
Club"
"I'D laugh if should tall and break
my neck jestingly remarked James
| Maloney, Of Tappan, N. Y, while in the
act of descending from fall pear tree.
| The next moment he lay upon the
ground with his neck broken. But he
| didn't laugh. What internal iii Liars some
men are.
In order to cure her husband of drink
| ing, colored woman in South Carolina
put concentrated I've in his whisky bot
| tie. The last words he uttered were to
the effect that it would be relief to him
to drop into Hades to cool off. and the
last words the widow spoke to the out
side world as she lodged into jail we're !:
"I nevah seed SIGH weak stomachs as de
niggahs are gettin' nowadays dey can't