South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-02-10
Wtt IN d II u ne 0 p

auditors nnd said: 'Brethren. II is
hard 10 realize the wondrous, unbound
ed love the Lord appears to have for
good portion OF this congregation
An lrishman took Yankee friend To
church with him o. Christmas day.
The music was magnificent and The dec
orations gorgeous. On their way ont
OF church no asked Tho Yankee how he
liked it. why, It beat The devil! said
toe down-easter. That the intintion,'
dryly remarked tho gentleman from
Tipperary.
Mamma, when l noticed Gil the PEG.
pie after they came into church this
morning lean their heads down against
the back Of the pew in front of them,
did just as they did and leaned mine
down too That was right, my dear
and You uttered prayer like a good
little boy p 'No,mamma, / counted teu.'
Dir. K. b. HAYES will sail for Europe
IN few days. The money he will offer
hotel and shopkeepers ~ his various
stopping places is tie savings from Mr.
Tiiden's salary. Ii it is refused he will
probably say he has no other. out lie
will not be offended.
Can pa make Circus, ma p Il
don't know, Johnny; suppose he could
ii he had great deaf o. money 10 buy
horses and wild animals. But-why do
You ask, Johnny?' %, nothing much.
Only saw that CASTOR fellow that you
told Sis 20 have nothing to do with
standing with his arm around her at the
back gate last night, and he said to sis,
Il spose flyer old man came along new
ne would make circus, and Sis laugh
ed ana said, You bet
He EXPLAINED. Nov, then, Mr.
CASHMERE, arc you ever going 20 get
Them trowsors done ? exclaimed the
promising youth hurricdly, entering the
establishment of his favorite tailor.
They'll be done Tomorrow, sic, re-
piled the gentleman OF Cts. quietly.
That's what you said yesterday
'Exacilyr
Well. isn't this Tomorrow p
Certainly not"
Well, wasn't to-day tomorrow yes.
tardsy ?
II was, but it isn't to-morrow to-
day
VOL. when in creation will to-mor-
row be, then 2
Don't you know ??
No
DO yoa remember the las. suit /
made you p
Yes.
'Yon remember when called for ny
money you always said You would pay
tomorrow. / discovered then that to-
morrow never comes. DO you under.
stand ?
The youth sought the street, and by
the gentle slam nc gave The front door
Il vas quite evident that lie did.
DEACON JONES, STAND Upi-A
preacher was dscoursiug on Tie specific
sins Of his congregation, and growing
warm with His subject, cried out Show
me a drunkard.
Promptly interrupting, man down
hy The door, fall orljquor, struggled TO
lis feet and responded, Here / am.
.hic) Parson.
After awhile the minister, approach,
ing another climax, shouted OUT
Where is tho hypocrite p
There coming no response fer mo
ment, the drunken man, pointing across
the seats, cied out, Deacon Jones
My don't you stand az, ,lic) ike / diig
Palmyra (Mo) Spectator: One Of
many returning emigrauI families pass
cd through towa a few days ago, OH
their way to Ohio, with The following
inscription painted in large blacl. letters
on ,heir wagon sheet:
Gin Cot 80 trust;
TO Kansas or bust.
j. God ne trusted.
And ia Kansas busted"
NuUsE- Come, Wuic. 1fd Won hear
your mother tell you 20 come r.lt into
the house WiI.ie--.E,ou 'm;r5-..,