The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-10-10
THE CLERKS CHATTER.
One of the Much-Abused Ho-
tel Clerks Comes to the
Rescue of the Rand.
A Vigorous Defense With Some
Lively Descriptions Of
Guests.

| Much has been written of the Hotel
Clerk-the man who stands behind the
counter with q quill from the wing OF
Mother Goose, or a steel pen from Gillott's
iactorv placed behind or over his auricular
appendage, and deals out sarcastic answers
with his double-gesred topgue, and meal
checks with his lily-white hand, the fin
gers of which sparkle with diamonds of
the real or imitation kind. Men have
spoken disrespectfully of him to his back
have cursed him mentally to his face
have heaped upon him contumely and rid
icule from newspaper Offices and from street
COL ers, and yet he goes on his way, smil-
ing that sad, sweet smile that would melt
the heart of the cast iron lion that ad0rns
the front steps of Col. Jaynes' home.
stead. Whoever speaks a word for this
representative OF our race? Did you
ever enter his hostelry, and he gave you
A COUCH OF DOWN?
Ii there be one among you whom he hath
not befriendej let him open his mouth and
speak now. Ii there is one who has ever
praised this humble mans condescensiOn
from behind the counter of hotel let him
speak. Ii there is man living who hos
ever been bossed, brow beaten, or thrilled
or chilled in the vital chords by this meek
eyed member of the human race let him
stand forth. III there ever was man who
did not envy him his suavity of manner,
his accommodation Of spirit, let him pro-
claim The fact from the house top. Ii there
be Que who has never felt his own bitterness
who has never felt like crawling into his
coat and pulling the coat in after him, hen
ushered into the presence of this parsonage,
let him arise. III there is one who ha
ever, In tie remOtest corner of his heart
failed to wish that the hotel clerk lived in
olden times the days when this is the
man whom the
PEOPLE DELIGHTED TO HONOR,
his voice should be heard And vet the
life of a hotel clerk is by no means path
of roses He must be good Judge of bad
human nature He must be a man won
derfully made, with discretion. knowledge,
affabilitv and courage. He must be abie
to till when the travellers grip sack is
filled with bricks and when with old news
papers He must know the private mark
of every man in the United States who ex-
ecutes checks. He must be able to tell
preacher from lightning rod peddler He
must know whether the couple i'm Room
80 are man and wife or not, for the reputa-
ton of the house is at sake. He must
know how much money Jones had hen
he be came to the house, and whether or
not he was actually robbed the night be-
fore Then there is man whose remit
tances failed to remit; the chap whose
checks will be in tomorrow the fellow
who thinks of going into tne hotel BUSH
ness, and likes his particular house. In
short, he must be mind reader, with eyes
in every part Of his head. with scent as
KEEN AS THE GREYHOUND,
to circumvent the soft tongued and oily
dead oeat who never misses a meal or pays
q cent. But these are not all of the accom-
pIishments that hotel clerk is expected to
possess. He must be able to tell where