The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1882-08-03
WHY HE MOURN Ed. r -

rfrS ~ ~ -
WHY HE MOURN Ed. + -,. !,
.ii1LLlIh IL = ~ u ?
The Bottom Facts Of the Funeral
Tonchingiy Told.
1T you've got the time I'd like to have
you write little something about the
deceased" said the little man Quie ay
something. pretty ,,mournttl, :@if yo,
please"
who is dead?'' inquired the manag-
ing editog,s Dipping his pen ip tile ink.
pot ''Friend ofvo,,ls"' ! II !.
"Well, yes" replied the little man,
leaning over the table "She was my
wife. Her wings sprouted yesterday'an and
we turfed her oyer this p. w.. She was a
very superior article of remains, and |
thought I'd have you.speak good word
for her ITO the public, with something
about other papers copying it at the bot
TOM
"Where was the plant"' asked the edi~
tor, scratching his bead turappropriately
melancholy ideas.
I've set her out tip in Cypress Hills"
replied the mourner, Wiping his eyes,
I'VE had Il ten-dollar discourse and Il
forty-dollar funeral You might speak
of rhe casket That cost fifteen dollars
alone, and there must have been eight
or nine dollars worth Of flowers and
shrubs, and one thing Or another"
" might say she was popular and gen
orally beloved by all who knew her in
life, eh?" suggested the editor
''You bet! And that'll make her Sis
ter mad. You may say she was the
handsomest woman in her DO
lice precinct, and that there were four
carriages chork full. lfyou want mica
piece Of descriptive, YOU might add tfiat
! rode on the hearse with the driver" -, !.
IAN atfectionate wife and loving
mother" limited the editor. 8
"Well," coughed the little man, Il
you've got plenty Of time and room.
Perhaps you'd better pay more atten-
ton to the handles Of the casket. Hat
show 'em to you. Genuine platter and
be drew them FROM his pocket. The
screws were all silver headed but theys
thought I'd better leave them"
"Was she prominent in any Of the
charitable rackets? Much in the Sum
day school business" asked the edits
or
lCS, SOI1lt IollC DclOIStu W SIOSS
or two Of old ;womhn'sr hdmess and u
societies, but, tf1st didn1 cit much tieufe
at the funeral You might speak OF the
number present and say that several
friends of the remains we're jalnmed
about a good deal trying to get a sight at
her. We showed her at the house and
at the grave, and though say it nlyselfs
| think" the coffin plate was generally ar
mired."
Then she was worthy, Christian wo:n~
an, charita bic and kindly
disposed, and departed sincereIys
mourned by large circle of friends??" = :
"0h, yes!" sighed the bereaved. e
don't see any objection to that. Yodf
might follow it up by remarking that heE
'prostrated husband gave her as good d
send off as any woman in that ward eve &
had. The maidstone comes to SIS, and
I lost ten to my brother-in-law betting
that the hearse could beat the monrneTs
carriage to the first tollgate on the OLD
road comming home. ia like TO have
it known that did the fair thing, though
don't care to look like | was blowing
about the expense
Did she leave any rliluren?'
Eyes, Oh, yes! she left 'e1n. Theyt
went with her as far rs the grave. It
stood me in $27 to fet them out with
grief for the occasion. But | don't be-
grudge it. Whe n I spend money | cal
culate to get the worth out Of it, and no.
body hears me complain. paid $lS for
he clothes site was shoveled under in"
did she leave any property?'
"A couple Of houses and lots, but you
needn't mention them. Just speak Of it
as the social event ofthe season in funer
al circles; ID which no %.expense was
sparedto make # ID gratifying success,
and you'll hit it abohtFeven The neigh.
bors' are all watching for t1e paper, and
you'll make u little something ut
Of the sales if you do the right thing.
You might say in to-day's paper that the
notice will appear Tomorrow, 50 as to
advertise it"a litt le,,nt:,n,ltlle zl1ost rated
husband put on liiS-lat ana Butt o,hheed Bis
coat.
And the managing editor wrote a SIM
pie, touching tribute to the memory OF
the woman whose qualities were buried
under her funeral Bills; and the PROS
trated husband showed it around, ex.
planning that: hes couldn't imagine how
the paper got hbl1 of the tact unless it
was thata reporter was present disguised
as oneof nthsEffiends of the remains:.e's Is