Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-08-16
SPICE AND ALLSPICE.

tnG ANO1bH 4 OlCs
The dodo was undoubtedly musica-
bird, as indicated by its name.
MAD dog is pronounced instance Of
outrage. Philadelphia Quiz.
ARAB BEY must be awfully sick, fol-
he is actually throwing up earthworks.
WHEN the skipper hallows through
his trumpet he becomes hOarse marine.
One of the difficulties of life-Talkine
to a deaf person In an omnibus. Quiz
A DARKEY's idea of heaven is one i'm
mense melon patch, and no dogs il
sight.
'sSoNG of the lighthouse inspector
Where is My Wandering Buoy To-
night?''
The most exaggerated dispatches
come by the fish line. Memphis AVal
aacbe.
A TEXAS paper publishes an account
Of the lynching of two negroes, under the
head OF sporting news"
Nor only is the whereabouts /" OF
some men puzzle, but also their why
abouts and whatabouts. -Quia.
AN editor, only married weel- ago,
yesterday printed fierce article against
''bossism. "-NOrrSstOaU7a Herald.
NEVER insult a milkman by asking
him what watering place he is going to
this summer--BoSton Transcript.
Now they say Jumbo is not an ele-
phant, but Jersey mosquito with his
wings cut off.-SomerUjLte Journal.
IT'S cherry nigger's duty to be bap-
TIED. Even if he amt got de faith,
de watell do him good.
IrGUeIer.
NEXT we shall have coat-tail firta-
ton code. Having tails covered with
mud will mean, ST don't like her father. -
Boston Post.
PRISONER, this is the third time
this year that you have appeared before
this court. What has brought you here
now, eh ;" "The police, sir! !"
A NEW fabric for ladies' wear has been
placed upon the market, called ''cheese
cloth" We should think it would be
quite durable-and strong.-EI.
'sGREAT Pains Taken is the heading
of an advertisement In one of the dailies.
Probably some gentleman has eaten a
whole watermelon Commercial
Bulletin.
SEVENTY berths in the ladies' cabin! .
exclaimed Fogg, after hearing a de-
scription of the new Old Colony steamer.
''Great Scott! but there must have been
a terrible squall about that time!
NEVER go into a railway superinten.
dents office with clergyman; there is
nothing a railway man hates to see more
than a man coming in to introduce 6
coupler. Boston Commercial Bulletin
WHEN a young lady asked to look at 6
parasol, the clerk said: 81 Will you
please give the shade you want E" "
expect the parasol to give the shade ]
want" said the young lady.-Her6er1
Spencer.
A TRADE journal gives directions for
sfpreserying harness." Preserved har-
ness may be considered very palatable by
those who like that sort of thing; but we
don't want bit in our mouth. Norris
tOaO1a Herald.
"PA, are you going to have any girl
vanized iron on our new house % SAny
what ?" "Any galvanized iron %
" Galvanized you mean, don't you %
eyes, pa; but teacher says we musn't
say gal; it's girl!'
''MR. SPEAKER" shouted the member
from Ruraldom, ct rise to pint OF
order" "And /, Mr.. Speaker, inter
rupted his colleague, "rise to quart OF
the same commodity; I go the gentle
man pint better"
A GERMAN professor claims to be able
TO tell mans character by feeling Of
his nose. It is possible to tell some
mems character-or absence of charac-
te1-hy merely glancing at their nose
NOrr6StOaO7l Herald.
The man who was leading COW anG
tied the lope around his waist, died o.
fractures of the skull. He did not have
his brains knocked out, because a mar
who would tie the rope around hin
couldn't have any brains.
II declare p exclaimed Mrs. Tidinice
Ct never saw a gal like our Sary Jane
/ worked eenamost two hull days on he1
new bathin' dress, and don't you think
she got it wringing wet the fust time she
put it on I'--BO8ton transcript.
GERMAN workman: "Yaas, it is drue
some of mein countrymen drink noel
bier, but it is not strong and docs not
make dem dronk." British workman
emo? Then what the dooce is the use
O. them a-drinkin' of it ?"-London Fun
ny Folks.
CALIFORNIA editors use $50 gold pieces
for paper weights. Around here they
use their diamond sleeve buttons fol
that purpose. All they consider $50
gold pieces good for is to shy at cats
out of the back windows. -Brocktoq,
Enterprise.
A MAN in Kentucky has found red
hair growing from the trunk of very
old tree. This is the first tree on record
we believe, that was provided with 9
hair trunk. It is probably hair-red
itary in that family of trees. Norris
t0eOn HerGld.
81 SHOULD SO like to have coin dated
the year OF my birth" said a nader
lady of uncertain age to male acquaint
ance. Do you think you could get