Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1882-01-18
How we Took a Boarder.

Now our house is quite large one,
and, beside those apartments which we
occupy ourselves and those which we
dedicate to our guests, there is very
nice little room on the second floor,
which we never use and very seldom
enter.
On the morning, when l happened 10
feel in very economical mood, l
bethought myself that, were this room
furnished prettily, we might az well as
not take a boar]er- there were such
numbers Of advertisements in the pa
pers for just such places. So many
single ladies wished board in a private
family where no other boarders were
taken and so many single gentlemen
pined cor the comforts OF home
that l had no doubt We could suit our
selve, exactly.
Accordingly 1 broached the subject to
Psalter at the table that very evening,
Psalter only laughed at first, but VIII en-
he found that was In earnest. aC-
quesced IN the arrangement, merely
stipulating that neither maiden lady
nor gentleman and his WIFE were to
become Inhabitants of the apartment.
Consequently my choice was limited.
A single gentleman must have, and l
was determined 10 be very particular
about bin. l consider myself pretty
good Judge Of character, and resolved
to select an intellectual, moral and
wel'.mannered person, or TO give up
the idea altogether,
Tuesday and Wednesday passed with
out any answer. Thursday brought a
young man belonging 10 fire company
who stipulated that the members ofh bis
machine should be allowed the prlvi-
leee of meeting in my parlor once a
week. as their engine house was out
of order, and likewise mentioned that
he always, in the morning, took brandy
instead of milk in bis coffee.
To this gentleman's proposals | was
obliged to answer IN the negative, and,
on his pressing the point, TO inform him
that the reception of the engine COM
pany would Of itself be an insuperable
obstacle. did not think it prudent to
add that his appearance and conVersa-
ton did not tend to make me desirous
Of his society. Although | thought so,
| based my objection altogether upon
the fire ccmpany's expectation of meet
ing in my parlors.
had said enough to oaend my VS.
itor, however, for he thrust his head
forward turtle fashion, and remarked
ths { had better uot say anything agin
No. 24O.' and that l might be hopping
Glad to have 'em meet in my parlor,
for-for all 1 thought myself some
punkins, was only small pertaturs'
and that No. 240 boys were tine fellers
and I'd better not contradict him-sa'
| ay!' and departed, leaving an ordor ol
bad cigars and stale whisky behind
him.
NV next applicant was maiden
lady, who desired accommodations ioI
herself. a parrot, kitten. two poodles'
a monkey, and cabinet of mineralo-
gical specimens. Ofcourse she did not
suit me, especially as she was very
particular in her inquiries as to my SER
| van. girls capability Of washing and
attending upon poodles and parrots.
Closely following upon her heels came
a gentleman Of respectable appearance
and plausible address, with whom, il
ante of a pair of yerv wild, singula
ewes. which protruded beyond the lid
until they appeared about TO drop ou
Into his cheeks, WAS nightly taken
Tn fact. the arrangements were neari.
concluded. when, to my horror L mad
tho discovery tnat he was prolesso
ot spiritualism, and a speaking AM
SINGING medium; likewise, my eye
were opened at once to the slhgu
Ilarity Of the gentlemsn's eyes BY
this confession, and became awar
that the nearest insane asylu IN woul
in all probability, suit him far bette !'
than my humble dwelling So' VIII
an inward Thanksgiving for my rescue
GOT out of the scrape as politely as pos
sIble, and the medium departed
Then arrived three very untidy men
twho wanted TO share the apartment
Il and receive scholars on the .vislinceii