National Republican., 1882-07-08
TOUGH MAcARoNI.
'An Innocent Joke that would Not Bring
Repronch."

There is a boy In the seventh ward who Is so full
of fun that sometimes It makes him ache. He is
tho same boy who not long since wrote note to
his father and signed the name Daisy" TO 1t, and
got the old man TO stand on the corner for two
hours waiting for the girl. After that scrape the
old man told the boy that he had no objection to
innocent jokes. such as would not bring reproach
upon him, and as long as tho boy confined himself
to jokes that would simply cause pleasant laugh
ter, and not cause the finger fscorn to be pointed
at n parent, he would be the last to kick. SO the
boy has been for three weeks trying to think of
some innocent joke to play OH his father. The old
man Is getting little near sighted and his teeth
are not as good as they used obe, butthe old man
will not admit It. Nothing that anybody can say
can make him own up that his eyesight Is failing,
or that
HIS TEETH ARE POOR,
and he would bet 500 he could see as far as
The boy knew the failing, aud made up his mind
getting off his base. The old person Is very fond
OF mucaroni, and eats 1t about three times week.
The other day the boy was in a drug store, aud
noticed in showcase a lot of small rubber hose,
about the size of sticks Of macaron sucn as s used
ON nursing bottles and other rubber utensils IL
was white and nice, and the boys mind was made
up ut once. He bought yard of II and took it
home. When the macaroni was cooked and ready
to be served he hired the table girl to help him
and cut the rubber hose in pieces about the samo
length as the pieces Of boiled macaronI aud Put Put
"
rubber pipes and placed the dish at
THE OLD MANS PLATE
Well, we suppose II 10000 people could have had
reserved senis and seen the old man struggle with
that India rubber macaroni and have seen Il Q
boys struggles TO keep from laughing, they would
have had more fun than they would at circus.
First the old delegate attempted to cut the maca:
roni into small pieces and, falling, he remarked
that 1t was not cooked enough: The boy said his
macaroni was cooked too tender, and that his
fathers teeth were 50 poor that & he would have TO
Never you mind my teeth, young man, and dc :
cded that he would not complain Of anything
and one piece of macaronl on fork aud put them
in his mouth.
THE aAcoARoNI DISSOLVED EASILY
enough and went down perfectly easy but the fiat
macaroni was too much for him. lie chewed on
it for minute or two, and talked about the
weather in order that none of the family should
see that he was in trouble, and when he found
the macaroni would not down he called their at
tention TO something out of the window aud took
the rubber syly from his mouth and lain 1t under
the edge of his plate. He was more than half COLI
vnced that his teeth were played out, but won't
on eating something else for while, and finally
he thought he would Just chance the macaroni
once more for luck, and he moved away another
forkful in his mouth. 1t was the same old story.
He cncwed like q seminary girl chewing gum, and
his eyes stuck out, and his face became red, and
wife looked at him rs though afraid he was going
to die of apoplexy, and finally the servantgirl
BURST OUT LAUGHING
and went out of the room with her apron stuffed
In her mouth, and the boy felt os though it was
unhealthy to tarry too long at the table, aud he
went out Left alone with his wife, the old man
took the rubber macaroni from his mouth and laid
1t OH his plate, and he and his wife held an in
quest ovec It,. The wife tried To spear 1t with q
fork, but couldn't make any impression on 1t, and
then she saw it was rubber hose, and told the old
man. He was mad and glad at the same time
glad because he had found that his teeth were not
to blame, and mad because the grocer had sold
him boarding house macaroni. Then the girl
came in and was put on the confessional, and told
n
by night in the woodshed, and the still, small
voice was saying: "On, pa, don't; you said you
thus. a boy can't have any fun nowadays.-Er-
CHANGE