The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-24

The Ugly Girls club will please take
notice. that the new hats for theatre wear
are dIminutIve affairs with close trim
mlngs. The Gain-boroughs have l.een ~
moved.-Exchang..
The jefferson City young ladies will
please ste To it that they do not violate tn.
rules If their club.
Fourth ward girls pin instead Of button
their shoes.-Ex.
All. how shocking. Wonder if this is
an answer To that old query, Where do all
the pins go tor
why don't you pu, the toothpicks
on the table" asked guest st a CALVES
ton hotel, after he had finished his din
ner. Because, after you used one yester-
day you didn't put it back in the SAUCER"
responded The new waiter.
-"Larning," says Andrews Queen" i
we'll enough but hardly pays to give
5000 education to a - boy.
That's SO; better buy him a 80 cen,
blacking brush and tell him to le, hi,
works shine before men.
What should be done to a man tina,
could refuse his wife a new bonnet, and
thereby break her heart ?"-Ex.
He should be promptly convicted OF muir
der in the first degree without the jury
leaving the box.
-Becher estimates that one female
house iy will lay 10000 eggs in n sea-
son.-Ex.
just NJ present when egg, are so scarce
it's pity hy or two couldn't be grated
into the hens.
After all, marriage is but q conf
dence game.-Ex-
True, for after the confidence Is gone the
game is generally up.
A Texas man kicked What he suppo,-
ed was an empty dynamite can just to
scare crowd that didn't know il VIA
empty, and is the can was empty. the Joke
worked just as he expected. except that
when the crowd recovered from the scare
they rode the joker on rail.
I'm on the press, now adavs," said
John Henry, as he folded his girl In one.
sweet embrace the other evening. We'll
that's no reason you should try To the
iorn," she replied as she rearranged her
tumb!ed collar and pinned up her hair.
which had come undcne.
An orator who was making land
league speech at Kildare, in Leland, was
lately nit ON the head with q rtone--Ex-
change.
He probably found out il WAS no, the
land vi the shamrock ut all.
Let us not be too harsh with the poll
ticisns. II it wasn't for politics many men
who are too lazy to earn their living with
their hands would be pauprrs.
There are many ills that desh is heir
to.-E1change.
Yes; and among these are ill-,emper
aud illiteracy.
1t is said that Oscar Wilde, the xsthete.
is a great devotee Of knee-breeches, and
many young men are already seriously
their adoption. Exchange.
IL would truly be serious contempla-
lion for some OF Sedalia's young men
such calves as they would display--ugh.
A Young minister should never begin
his career by being very radical III his
abuse OF tobacco.-Ex.
No-at least not to the old deacon who
,as pretty daughter.
-"Clothe me in dreams" says Miss Fan
1ie Driscoll, In recent poem--Ex.
You might look we'll that way, but, dear
.irl, don't you think it is little thin?
Bridget" said the mistress to her
'ervant, "put little nutmeg In the GUS
ard this afternoon" and Bridget picked
mt the smallest nutmeg she could find and
hrew il in the custard, where it was found
ntire at the evening meal.
A South End man asked a one armed
'rgan grinder if he was a survivor OF the
var. and the organist replied: Hang it,
10 act ~ though was killed In it?"
-"Can I give my son q college educa-
ION ut home " asks fond parent
Certainly, sir; all you want is a ball
,uide, a packet of cards, . racing she'll and
ONE good cigars.
A Justice of the peace in Pennsylva-
Tia rural town married couple the other
law, and the groom asked him his
eruis after The knot was tied. We'll"
aid the Justice, "the code allows me two
dollars" Then said the young man,
theirs n dollar; that will make you
hree."
Advice to little boys, by spirster Of
xperi.nce. If your sister, while engaged
u tender conversation with her sweet |
'ear,, asks Won to bring glass of water
rom an adjoining room, you start on the err
anI, but You need not r..turn You will
"t To- missed, that is certain; we've seen
/ tried.