davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30
MORE ABOUT LUCY.

One evening Lucy's Young Man did
no; keep his engagement TO come and
help her Hold Down the sofa, and she
WAS very angry. because. the Young Man
generally brought along box of Candy.
and Lucy could make it Look Tired
abou; as easily as any Girl in town.
so she 81; down At the Piano and be-
gan 10 sing. After she had given the
folks sample Of "When the Roses
Bloom Again. '"Only Pansy Flower"
Empty Is the Cradle" a" and few other
Gems Of Melody that would make man
feel like committing Murder. her Father
said that perhaps she had better Quit,
= he didn't care about having the Patrol
Wagon making useless trips on such a
cold night.
Lucy made no reply TO this remark OF
her Fathers, but only slammed the music
down pretty Hard. probably to show
what she coald do in case she should
ever Get Real Hot. Then she began
TO play the Piano. starting in with "The
Battle OF Prague" When she had finish
cd the piece. her Papa went across the
Room 10 where his oldest son was sitting
and handed him $50.
"Why, Papa" said Lucy, ''what are
YOU giving James all that money for ?"
"Iour brother bet me sso," he re-
piled, "that YOU would Knock Out the
Piano in the First round, and | am Civ
ing up the Doodle"
Then Lucy began to cry and said that
her Father and Brother were Nasty
Horrid Things. But they only laughed
nj her. and when she had gone upstairs
her Papa said TO James: ''Lei US open
i Small Bottle"
Men are very Curious Creatures, chill
drcn. Theywill frequently open Small
Bottle, and then go home and tell their
Wives that times are too hard to buy 4
new Bonnet. But sometimes these men
Lose Their Grip and turn up about
Thirteen or Fourteen o'clock at night,
having had TO hire a Hack to get home
in, and then somebody gets Scalskin
Sacque.
think il serves them right. Don't
YOU agree with me, children s-CAioagO
2ITbEAc.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30
Esq"

An exchange has this to say about the
title of esquire: The legislative prohi-
bition by the United States OF titles Of
nobility could not eradicate the trial OF
human nature which makes such titles,
or any verbal badge OF distinction, 4
dearly craved prize TO the mass OF peo-
pie; but in our eagerness for these we
have done more to abolish them than
any laws, by making them ridiculous.
4 title given 20 everybody is I self con-
tradiciion and absurdi;y, for j; distin-
guishes no one and implies nothing and
in our democratic society no one is
willing to give others the monopoly OF
such distinctions. In consequence
several titles which were iolerably def
mite in meaning cnce have become tags
that do not add hair to the meaning
Of the name itself. Among these IS
"Esq.," once coveted badge of pro.
fessional distinction and in early New
England times confined rigidly to its
narrow use-indeed. even "Mr." was
only allowed to respectable housekeep-
ers in good standing. Coming to Us
from feudal England, ESQ" marked
members OF the legal fraternity and
kindred occupations. 1t was at length
assumed BY or conferred by courtesy
upon prominent and wealthy citizens,
and II last has come to mean only an
adult ciiizen-ihe same as "Mr." or. in
general, the same as the name would i'm
ply without addition. II IS therefore
utterly useless. bore and an ohensc.
for meaningless title is an insult 20
any man. II should be disuscd alto
gether. and left TO be marked "obscleie"
in the dictionaries. Write''John Smith,
or .'Mr John Smith," II YOU please.
bu, letus have no more Of "Iohn Smith.
ESQ"
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

DarAn odd and handsome mat for a
small table or for iete-a-ieie set is made
OF felt. Make the center of some dark
colored felt, and then make border OF
points Of different colors and different
widths. Buiton-holc stitch these with
embroidery silk faSten together at the
center, and where the edges join catch
with a few stitches. On the winder
point fasten six brass curtain rings with
gay colored embroidery silk and on the
narrower point sew five rings. Fill in
the enclosed circle with fancy stitches
OF the silk.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

D@-A visitor to a baby show down in
Maine thus sums up his conclusions -
''For pure, undulterated foolishness
about baby, father can 'out. foolish
all the rest Of the family-yes, and I
will throw in the grandmother on the
mothers side"
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

sS~A pretty penwiper that resembles
n rose is made of twelve circular pieces
Of cloth Of difieren; colors, edged with
crystal beads. Fold the pieces in four
and fasten together in the center with
silk thread.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

b9Be deaf to the quarrelsome, blind
10 the scorner. and dumb to those who
arc mischievously inclined.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

eTTable mats are no longer used in
stylish houses, either at luncheon or
dinner. The waiter should have coarse
towel outside and wipe each dish before
he puts il on the table.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30
HIS DEBUT IN PRINT.

Ah! here Il is. I'm famous now
An author and poet
IL really 10 In print. 70 gods
How proud III be TO show Il!
And gentle Annie i-what . thrill
viii animate her breast
To read these ardent lines, and know
To whom they are addressed.
Why. bless my soul here's something strange
What can the paper mean
by talking Of the "gracefai brooks
That gander Ger the green 7"
And here's . ., instead Of,
Which makes u "tippiing rill;"
even seek the shad, !" Instead Of "shade:"
And "heil," instead Of "hili."
They look so"-what! I recollect,
Twas "sweet'' and then twas "kind;'
And now, to think, the stupid fool
For "bland" has printed "blind."
'ris curious. BY the BY,
How anything 10 rendered blind
by giving Il an eye.
''lIAst thou no tsars"-ths Is lsft out,
"lIast thou no ears" instead.
81 hope that thou art dear" is put
81 hope that thou art dead"
Who ever saw In such q space
So many biunders erammsdi
Those gentle eyes bedimmed" q spelt
'-'ssfssss scasis syss bs d@nssd. As''-s's-s''
affection" 10 "aniietion; !"
] wonder " the likeness holds
In fact as we'll as fctionl
Thou art a fricnd"-,he y 10 gone;
Who ever wouid have deemed
That such a trifling thing could change
"friend" into "6end."
"Thou art the same" Il rendered "iame,"
IL really is too bad;
And here. because an IL out,
Ny "iovciy maid" 10 "mad;"
They drove her blind by poking In
An eye--a process new;
And nOw they've gouged IL out again
And made her crazy. too.
"wherc are the muses. fed, that thou
Should'st live 80 long unsung,"
Thus real my vcrsion--here Il ia
''Should'st live 90 long unhung !"
"Thc fate of womans love is thine
An \ commences "fate -
How small q circumstance will turn
womRn's love to hate.
"I1l read no more What shall I doy
I'll never dare 20 send IL:
Tho papers scattered far aud wide
'Tis now too late TO msnd Il.
Oh. Fame thou cheat of human bliss.
Why did ever write!
wish my poem had been burnt
Before Il saw the light.
Lets stop and recapituiate:
I've id her eyes. that's plain
I've told her she's a lunatic,
Aud blind. and deaf. and lame.
Vas ever such horrid hash
In poetry or in prose,
I've said she was Gend. and praised
The color of her nose.
I wish had that editor
About half minute,
I'D bang him to hi. hearts content,
And with an 4 begin IL:
I'D jam his body, eyes and nose,
And spell IL with d.
And send him 20 that hill Of his,
And spell IL with an 9.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

D6rA strict mistress who had Just
hired a new cook made tour Of inspec-
ton after she had kept her a week, and
found a policeman locked up in
the pantry. "How did this man
get here1 asked the lady, severely
''I'm sure don't know" answered the
girl, che must have been left over by
the old cook"
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

n|Mrs. Partingion says that few
persons suffer from suggestions Of the
brains nowadays.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

eSrThere are new English rugs which
make pretty and inexpensive coverings
for parqueiry floors.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

B@It is good thing to laugh; beasts
can weep when they suffer, but they
cannot laugh.-DUdeR.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

s~POverty may excuse a shabby
coat, but il is no excuse for shabby
morals.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30
DIDN'T RECOGNIZED HIM.

The Boston .Sngsly SAGScf tells the
following story: Many yeare ago there
dwcli in 4 certain Boston street two
families which, although near neighbors.
had no neighborly relations or even ac-
quainiance. This grew out of the fact
that while the head of one housc-lei
Us call him Iones-was of somewhat
slow condition." the other, whom we
will style Pedigree, was upper crust, 1
regular plirician." II rather troubled
the Jones family TO have the Pedigrees
treat them IS though they did no; exist;
but they managed 10 worry along. and
in due tine the Jones boys grew TO be
men and entered upon the serious bust
ness OF life, one of them TO such good
purpose that he acquired wealth and be-
came the president of bank. One day
one of the Pedigrecs received i check
on this same hank and stepped in TO
have it caShed. The teller was all po-
li,cness, said he had no doub, il was all
right, but added that the rules of the
bank required that the presenter OF 4
check should be identified. Mr.. Pcdi-
gree found no fault, and added that he
had no doubt Mr.. Jones, the president
Of the bank, could furnish the needed
identification. Just then the President
happened TO pass from his private room,
and the teller handed him the check and
stated what was wanted. The President
took the check, examined the signature
and the Endorsement carefully, and look
ing Mr.. Pedigree straight in the face,
handed il back to the teller and said.
al do not know the gentleman, turned
on his heel and went about his business.
APPLES As Foop.-Apples have al
ways been used for dessert. Pliny tells
Of - varieties cultivated BY the Romans,
now We possess over 1000 kinds. As
an article Of food they rank with the
potato, and on account OF the variety Of
ways they can be cooked, are preferred
by many to the potato. As substitute
for pastry they are invaluable, feeding
the brain rs we'll IS neSh-producing.
preventing constipation and acidity. A
ripe, raw apple is diges,ed in an hour
and half, while boiled potato takes
three hours. Sweet apples baked or
stewed should be used instead of the
sour varieties.
Every meal should have apples cook
ed in some form or other, and children
should be allowed to eat as many as they
want. Instead Of using the quack nos
trums sold for the blood and other pat
ent medicines, use apples freely as food,
and as far rs possible in the place Of po-
tatoes, and the testimony of the medical
profession goes to prove the healthful
qualities Of this excellent fruit.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

b%Why are troubles like babies?
Because they get bigger by nursing.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-12-30

S. PARKER B0sLEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW AND SOLICITOR IN
cHANcERY,
ROOMS Nos. 9 AND MASONIC HALL.
T0wsoNT0wN, Nm,
Except Friday and Saturday Of each week co
which days Office at
IS SARATOGA STREET, BALTIMORE.
MONEY LOAYED.Va
Claims prosecuted In any Of the Departments in
Washington.
PENSIONS AND INCREASE or PENSIONS
OBTAINED.
Jan.l0, soft.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
PILES! PILES! PILES!
A Sure Cure Found at Last! oOne
Need Suffer!

A Sure Cure for Blind, Bleeding. Itching
and liberated Piles has been discover,
ed by DR.. William, ian Indian remedy, J
called DR.. williams Indian Ointment.
A single box mas cured the worst chronic
cases Of % OF 80 years standing. No one
need suffer FIVE minutes after appilng
this wonderful soothing medicine. Lo-
tions, instruments and celectuarles 40
more harm then good. Williams ONT
ment absorbs the tumors,, allays the
intense itching, particularly at night al
ter getting warm IN oed.l acts as pour,
tice. gives instant aIs painless relief, and
is prepared only coc Piles, itching OF the
private parts, and Cor nothing else;
Read what the Hon. j. N. Coftinbury
of Cleveland says, about DIR. Williams
Indian Pile Ointment: have used scores
Of Pile Cures, and il p6'ords me pleasure
&, saw that have never found anything
which gave such immediate and perma-
merit relief as DIR. Williams Indian ONT
ment. For sale by all druggist or mall
ed on receipt of price, $1,OO; n..,,
GO Vesey Street, New York City.
WALDING, KINNAN & Co..
noy3'81-1y Wholesale Agents Toledo, o.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
THE DEMOCRATIC NORTHWEST Thursday OCTOBER ls. ls2

8 pen, wrote a few hasty lines and rang
his bell. Blossom heard his orders
given. Nl rl-,."ta
send this dispatch at oncel' Z
The President then turned to the
girl and said; Go home, my child,
and tell that father Of yours, who
could approve his country's sentence
even when it took the life of child
like that, Abraham Lincoln thinks
that life far too precious to be lost. Go
back. or-wait until tomorrow. Ben
ME will need a change after be has
faced death; he shall go home with
YOU" IA 4ft,s. f.sgl- lslv0s
aGod bless you sirl' said Blossom.
Two days after the interview, the
young soldier came to the White
House with his little sister. He was
called into the Presidents private
room and strap was fasteLed around
his shoulder. Mr.. Lincoln then said;
"The soldier that can carry a SICK
comrades baggage and die uncom-
plainably, deserves well o. his coun-
try"
Then Bennie and Blossom took their
way to their Green Mountain home.
A crowd gathered at the railroad sta
ton to welcome them; and, as farmer
Owens hand grasped that of his boy
tears flowed down his cheeks, and he
was heard to say tervently, 1.-The Lord
be praised"
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
ARE WE IN DANGER?
A Prediction That the Comet Will Fall
Into the Sun, and Blow Us all
Higher than GiIderOy's Kite.

Especial Dispatch to the Enquirer.l
NEW YORK, October S.-The World g
cable letter from London says:
''The comet is all the talk in scientific
circles at present, and may say that our
celestial visitant is being regarded with
considerable apprehension. Mr.. Richard
A. Proctor, who denied that it was the
comet of 1843 and 1880, finds that he
made mistake in his calculations, and
so has withdrawn his statement. More
cautious astronomers than he have no
doubt of the identity of the comet, and
believe that it will return at the latest in
October, 1888, and then fall into the sun,
with results which will enable you to
dispense with the future publication of
the World. am assured that this is the
opinion of the most eminent scientists of
the day-Mr. G. Pis-.zi Smyth, the clev-
er if eccentric Astronomer Royal for
Scotland, in particular having made no
secret of his belief"
Especial Dispatch to the Ecqriref.l
WASHINGTON, D. c., October8.-Prof
Skinner, of the Naval Observatory was
interviewed this evening in regard to the
London prophecy concerning the comet.
He said that the prediction from London
may come to pass about the time indi-
Gated. but he would not like to vouchs :fe
prediction of his own until he has had
an opportunity to make further observa.
tions. Ee thought that if the precent
comet was the one of 1843 or 1880 it was
very evident it was out of its orbit, and
maysfall into the sun, but with what re.
suit he was unwilling to hazard any
predictions.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
A Word of Caution.

AS is usually che case where an article
of true merit has attained a worldwide
reputation by its wonderful results, as
the celebrated Electric Bitters have done,
certain UNI 'incipled parties have endeav-
ored to initiate them, and expect to in
duce an unsuspecting public to purchase
their fraudulent wares. Ask your drug
gist for the genuine Electric Bitters, that
are guaranteed to cure. and take no
others. Sold by J. G. Saur at SOC.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
pretty way to cover q hair cushio,

A pretty way to cover hair cushion
is to knit stripes Of zeypher worsted or
of yarn Of different colors. Suppose
you have three stripes, one Of red, one
one Of blue, and the third of black,
knit them together, put them over the
cushion, aud at each corner fasten a
scarlet bow, Or, instead Of . bow.at the
four corners, a cord and balls made Of
worsted look very pretty at two front
corners. This cushion has soft, warm
look which is appreciated in winter
N. Y. Post.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
Bucklen,s 4 rnca salse,x. Il.

( Tne best salve IN the world for GUS,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fe'
yer Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, CD,..
bls;rs, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piles. It is guaraD-
teed to give perfect satisfaction or mon.
ey refunded, Price 25. cents per box,
For sale by j. G. Saur. dec8-1yr8i
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
The Doctors Secret.

Probably no new development " i'll
more surprise the public, than to learn
the secret of success of certain leading
physicians. When they have difficult
case of throat or lung disease that baffi
their scientific skill, they prescribe DR..
Kings New Discovery for Consumption,
Coughs and Colds. having it disguised in
a prescription bottle, with their own di.
rections and name attached. The patient
is cured land they get the credit-Tribune.
Trial bottles free at Saur's Drug Store.
Large size $1.00.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19

Gentlemen on the car takes an excel.
lent cigar from his pocket and just as
he is about to light it reollects that his
fellow traveller may object to tobacco.
smoke. Accordingly, the cigar be.
tween his finger and thumb, he turns
to his vis-a-vis and says politely: ID
beg pardon, sir, but perhaps
80, thank you; with pleasure" Ano
the other traveller takes the cigar ano
smokes 1t. P.S.-Of course it was the
polite mans .ast weed)
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
Satisfaction for Ten.

In our family of ten for over two years
Parker's ginger Tonic has cured head.
ache, malaria and other complaints SO
satisfactorily that we are in excellent
health and no ex0ense for doctors or
le- medicines, s,-Chronicle I'm
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
Kendall's SPAWN Cure.

blister yet Il is penetr ling and powerful 70 reach
cry deep seated pain or to remove any boly growth
or other engagements, 3ucn spavns splints curbs
ringbones, callovs swellings and any iameness and
all engagements OF the joints o. .mbs o for pler
matsm n man or for any purpose for winch q lini-
ment is used for man or beast. 1t Is low known to
be the best lnient for man ever used, acting mild
yet certain In tn effects.
Send sddless FOR illustrated Circular which we
thinL gives positive proc. III virtues. No -emedy
has ever lei with srcn unquliafed success to our
knowledge for beast or man.
Price 81 per oo.s'e, or sly bottles fo- %. All
druggis ave II o: car get 1t 20 5oa, o will be
sent to any address 1ceipt Of price by ,e ,ropri.
etors. d. B. j. KENDALL sS CO.,
June Is, 'S2-1y. Emo ,lrg Falls, ermont
Sod by all Druggists.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19

who knows that ifIthe beautiful girl
who died 50 young had been blessed
with DR.. Pierce's .'Favorite Prescrip-
tion" is certain cure for all those disor-
ders to which females are liable. By
druggists.
zionsville, Indiana, Nov. 8, 1880.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19

1t is said OF great many persons
who have no exterior excellence to
boast of that they are possessed of
much inward beauty. If kindly nature
would SO rearrange her laws that such
people could be turned wrong side out
life would be more worth living.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
A understanding Minister.
rNew York Su /, October IL

New York SUI, October IL
Our Baptist neighbor, the hao"''"s"
and Chronscle, breaches little sermon
on the following te--,:
"Some time ago well-known cler-
gyman, beloved by his church and re,
specteq by the community, resigned
his pastorate and entered on secular
employment. The cause assigned
was ili-health, caused by long contln-
| ued over-work. Probably the reason
was genuine, perhaps it was sufficient:
put another that was carefully concealed
has since transpired. In an evil
hour he was persuaded to take ti.-er'
in Wall street, and soon he engaged
quite extensively in stock s2eculatlons.
AS a result he became SO seriously
involved that he was obliged to resign
his pis pastorate and accept an offer OF
large salary IN business, in order to
repair his shattered fortunes and keep
from bringing opens shame on his sa-
cred Office.
Probably the clergyman referred to
| is the Rev. DIR. Tying the younger, who
resigned his pastorship of the Holy
Trinity Church and went into the in,
surance business, we believe. OF his
stock operations recent lawsuit has
given us hint. 1t is obvious
that if DR.. Tying had health and
strength enongh to earn a handsome in
come from an insurance company ne
was not too mnch enfeebled by over
work to take care Of a church, and the
reason given for his resignation was
not the true one. Bat whether tha
true reason was his unfortunate stock
gambling or something else we do moi
know. Our Baptist contempory says II
was the stock gambling.
So ar from church having suffered
any loss, it has made a great gain IN
the withdraw of such man from lts
ministry. He was only a half-heartee
servant Of Christ, and it is men like
him who are doing more to discredl
than all the lnfdels who assall it. Jay
Gould would have as much justification
for preaching the religion Of Christ o.
L ho . ... . u. ,ts K.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
The VERY Latest News.

slave you heard the latest newsi'
said one city swell % another. 'fNo; do
tell me what it is .Weli, ! have at
last got rid Of my corns BY one trial OF
Putnam's Painless Corn Extractor, and
as I know yours are even worse than
mine were couldn't pas without telling
you to get a bottle at your druggists.
I'll guarantee it will fix 'em completely"
1t is sure, prompt. and painless, taking
the corns not at once. Sold everywhere.
Beware of substitutes and limitations.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19
From Col. L. Y. Foster.

= 1OunRstOWhJ o., NIHy IOt IooU.
DR.. B. ]. KENDALL & Co., Gents:-I had very
valuable Hambletonan colt that Iprized very high
ly, he had o large bone SPAWN on one joint and 9
small one on the other which made him very lame;
had him under the charge Of two veterinary surgeons
which failed to cure him. was one day reading the
advertisement of Kendalrs SPAWN Cure in the Chi
cago Express determined at once to try II and got
our druggists here to send for it, they ordered three
bottles; took them all and thought would give II
thorough trial. used it according to directions and
the fourth day the colt ceased to be lame and the
Jumps have disappeared. used but one bottle and
the colts limbs are as from Jumps and smooth
as any horse In the state He s entirely cured. The
cure was SO remarkable that let two of my neigh
bors have the remaining two bottles who are now u.s.
ingit. Very Respectfully, L. T. FOSTER.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-10-19

The only iron preparation that does
not color the teeth, and will not cause
headache or constipation, as other iron
preparations will, is Browns Iron Bitters.