davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1882-11-03

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Mil, ioute bsi 9erru you;a @guitcrAen
borfpredlsn. 2eri1Ibe berfauIt ieiurn
gansen g3aareH2} 6r,a;6 ~ una nnier
RoiffnprPIS
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
An Albino Monkey ,

In a snug little cage on board of the
steamer OXfordShire, of London, which
is lying at the foot of Jefferson street,
East river, frisks one of the most curl
Gus specimens of albinism ever seen in
this country. tits a monkey of the ring
tail species and was procured five
months ago at Singapore by Capt. C.
Z. Jones, the commander of the vessel.
Jack" as the little fellow is called, is
a beauty He is snow white from the
crown Of his tiny thinking box to the
tip of his long and prehensile tail, and
as he clutches the bars of his little pris-
on with his human-shaped hands and
leers between them, the peculiar red
ness of the iris and pupils of his eyes as
the light strikes them proclaims at once
that he is q simon pure. The little fell
low" said Capt. Jones, ''was captured
year ago on the Malay peninsula and
brought TO Singapore, where crowds of
persons fiocked TO see him, although
members of the monkey family are as
plenty there as felines are here. / YVES
immensely taken with him at once, and
although | have been a collector of an
imals for % years. | never saw his
like before. Indeed ] have heard of but
one albino monkey, and that was pur-
chased six years ago by the king of ST.
am, at Singapore, for $500, the ami
NAL having previously been sold in Cal
cutta for 500 gold rupees. Before pur-
chasing Jack / consulted with the best
animal traders and they were as much
astonished at seeing him as / had been.
At all the ports we stopped at in the
China seas, and particularly at Yoko-
homa, Hong Kong, Shanghai. and also
AT Gibralter, Jack attracted much at
tention.n
Jack. when standing, measures fifteen
inches, be weighs about four pounds,
and is thought not to have been MINI
licking the world for over two years
He is as playful and gentle as kitten,
and when allowed full swing of the
ship romps about with a japanese SPAN
iel, the two evidently entertaining a
warm friendship for each other. He is
very healthy, although an epicure, of
the Jack Tar school, which means he
eats everything York Herald.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Ri1l Arm. on Rows.

There's more in the boy than there is
in the college. In these days of cheap
books any boy or girl can get an educa-
ton If they want it, but my observation
is that no more than one in ten want an
unusual quantity. If the family takes
a good newspaper and has Bible and
a few books in the house, and the chill
dren do an honest days work, they'll
get along about as well as the college
boys in the long run, and do as much
good in the world. Congress has cot
more smart men than any place, reck-
on, but if | was hunting for honest men
| would cruise around outside while
before | went in, and if / was hunting
for patriots. who thought it sweet to die
for their country, 1 wolidG't 90 in at
all. The best people know of, and the
most reliable in time of trouble, are liy-
ing an humble life, and making no noise
in the world, and they are not surfeited
with education either.-1ttanta Consti-
taltion.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Puns on Authors Names.

A humorous writer thus associates
popular quotations with names of au-
thors who did not write them:
1.-TWO heads are better than one, :"
was originated by man named Coop
er, while heading barrel in his humble
cooper shop.
''Al's well that ends WE'LL" was said
by Burns, when he put a poultice on a
lump raised by a hot branding iron, used
in the gauger business.
''Faint tart ne err won fair lady," was
written by Crabbe, when he sent a sour
apple pie to his mother-in-law.
''Be sure you're right, then go on
head" was the remark of Hood.
Great cry and little wool,' is origin
al with Bacon.
"He iests at scars that never felt q
wound. "-Shakspcare.
Too many cooks spoil the BROTH
shows that it must be Browning.
''The milk in the cocoanut,' is evil
IDENTIFY from the pen of Cowper.
Don't get your back up at trides, :"
are the words of Campbell.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
The Code.

One Sunday at Montgomery we were
talking about duels, and when the names
of several parties who had gone out in
past years to satisfy their honor We're
mentioned, the Judge knocked the ashes
off his cigar and said:
Gentlemen, it may be mentioned
right here that | have been there my
self"
Were you challenged?n
Il was 1t was over in South Caro-
lima, and l called man liar. He sent
me challenge, and Iselected swords as
the weapons. We met at O'Clock the
next morning. 1t was just such morn
ing as this-bright, beautiful and full of
lffe.''
And how did you feel?''
Every queer. | shall never forget my
sensations as / saw my rival, and he
seemed to be as yisibly affected. We
couldn't either one of us say word"
'.Was it in a groye?"
"Oh, no; it was at the depot
The depot! Why. you didn't fight
at the depot, did you?''
"Well, no. The morning express
trains passed there at Z, and he took
one and | the othern'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Nine, Outrey,

Nine. Outrey is slender and graceful,
with dark hair, gray eyes, and q pale
complexion, one of the most refined and
elegant women of her circle and rather
the leader of the diplomatic ladies So
cially for many seasons. Before her
marriage to the distinguished French
man she was Miss Helen Russell, of one
of the old and wealthy families of New
York. The Russells were among the
earliest to perceive the advantages of
Newport as q summer residence, and
their handsome villa on Bellevue avenue
has been point of social attraction for
more than a score of years. Nine. Out
rey possesses herself charming resi-
dence at LenoX, Mass, and has spent
several summers there with her family
of little ones. NJ. Outrey retires now
from the diplomatic service, and will
hereafter reside at Paris, where Nine.
Outrey's mother and many of their rela-
tiyes have their homes. Owing to deaths
on both sides of the family, the Outreys
have been in deep mourning during the
last year of their stay in America and
have been almost retired from society.
The minister's successor, named some
months ago, was NJ. Roustan, the fire.
brand of q red republican, whose duels
and doughty deeds have exercised the
sister republic for some years. Grave
doubts are expressed now as to whether
III. Roustan viii come at all, his mali
cious countrymen accusing him of fear of
the ocean voyage, and of distrusting the
friends who would have charge OF his
interests during his absence.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Dog and Telephone.

Brutes-at least domestic ones-share
the advantages of scientific advance
ment by the human race. Dogs can
hear their masters voice farther off
than they could once-and a smart dog
soon learns where to listen.
a gentleman in Warren, r, Z, who
has sometimes assisted in the transmits
sion of messages by telephone, owns a
beautiful pet dog named Pat. The dog,
having lost sight of his master, went to
the telephone office in search OF him.
and the operator, understanding the OBJ
ject of Pats visit, called for his master
at place bethought he might be, and
informed him that Pat was looking for
him. and was Immediately answered,
and placing the instrument to the dog $
ear, he at once evidently recognized his
masters voice, and started for the door,
greatly excited, and asked in dog S
language TO be let out that he might go
in pursuit Of him. -Pr0UtdeRcc JourRQI.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Married ct Seventy.

Recently, says the Philadelphia Times,
the Rev. DR.. Bolton, of West Chester,
announced to the Protestant Episcopal
Convention, then in session, that he had
been requested to join in matrimony the
Rev. DIR. Spear and a Miss Thomas, of
West Chester. DR.. Spear, who is seven
ty years of age. and nearly blind, has
been an inmate of the Old Mans Home
for the past four years, and the fact that
his secret had leaked out worried him
very much, as it was the one topic Of
the aged gentlemen who live at the
Home. On Tuesday the doctor quietly
left the Home. and went to friend s
house, where he remained until the day
following, when he was met by Miss
Thomas, and at 11:S0 the Rev. DR..
Richard Newton performed the mar
riage service in the presence of half-a-
dozen of DR.. Spears friends. Miss
Thomas, the bride. who belongs to an
excellent family in West Chester, is
possessed of considerable wealth. and is
twenty years the Junior of her husband.
The groom for many years was rector OF
st. Luke's Church, in this city, and in
his younger years was an eloquent
preacher, and greatly admired by his
congregation. The bride and groom
will reside in West Chester.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
1tlantlomoe pilot.
THURSDAY. july q, 1882.
En0antrioities of Hotel Gnests.


ssDo you see that man going off with
that bell bov?n asked clerk in one of
the leading hotels in this city of "A re-
porter. says the Detroit Free Press. An
affirmative answer was given at which
the clerk continued: THAT man is
worth hun lreds of thousands of dollars
and is at the head of business which
probably amounts to upwards of mil
lion dollars year, vet he cannot write
his own name. He stops with us four
or five times year and | always regis
ter his name for him without asking any
questions, for / know of his inability,
and he knows that know it.
'.How about his bill? | should think
hotel clerk might cheat such a man, ~
said the reporter.
I'VE never cheat anybody" said the
clerk in an injured tone, and he contin-
ued: Il pity the clerk who tries to swell
old rs bill. | don't know whether
he can read figures or not, but you may
bet he can tell mighty soon whether his
bill is right or not, even TO a cent?
The above remarks led to a very in
teresting chat, during which the clerk
related a few of the eccentricities he has
met with during twenty years which he
has spent behind hotel desks. One of
the oddities was told Of well-kuown
star actor who never takes meal out
side of bis own room, vet who never
eats anything-at least in the hotel
beyond Graham bread toasted, black
tea. cold roasted or smoked meats with
a dessert of toasted cheese and crackers.
Il presume the simplicity Of this diet is
the cause of his eating his meals in his
own room," said the clerk.
Another interesting note was of a
wealthy mana resident of this city
who seldom misses an evening that he
does not visit the hotel reading-room
and spend from one to two hours read
ing the Detroit daily papers.
A novel way of carrying money was
revealed by the clerk, who told of a
guest who always has from $500 to ST.
600 on his person and upon reaching
the hotel hands the clerk n package
done up in tissue paper in such way as
to look like package of tobacco or a
roll Of calico or anything besides bank
notes. ''His package of cash has be-
come so well known to the clerks that
when they see il in the safe they re-
mark, Hello, old Tissue is here again. y
Illustrative of some of the trials q ho-
tel clerk has to put up with, was told
the hobby of an old man who insists on
having two rooms with connecting
doors, man to remain in the room and
keep awake with the gas turned on 1un
head while he sleeps. Fear of sudden
illness and possible death, (which fear
has existed seven or eight years, to my
knowledge" is the reason the old gen
49,, ', rap,,irpS n oou,pauiou
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
One of Picks Tracts,

Yes, little BOYS, it is very naughty to
be naughty, and if you do what you are
told not to do, you will in the end wish
you had not, and YOU viii not find any
thing in the Story Papers to console you,
either.
Listen to the story OF District Tele-
graph Messenger. and how his sin laid
him out.
Like all District Telegraph Messengers
he was very bad little boy. His uni
form was always dirty, and he snlelled
of fish and cabbage, and he never took
off his hat in the house, and he always
left parcels at the wrong addresses, and
he never knew where any place was,
and he was rude and uncivil.
But one nice day wise old gentle
man sent him to a watchmaker's with
an order for a little parcel, and hurry
up, and ride both ways. So the boy
went quickly and got the parcel, and
put it in his trousers pocket. He thought
it was a watch. But it was Pedo-
meter.
A Pedometer is an instrument that
registers every step you take. And this
Pedometer commenced registering right
off. just as the boy commenced letting
himself out.
First the boy went three blocks out
of his way to see a safe hoisted to the
third story of building. And the Pedo-
meter registered that little trip. Then
he met some other messenger boys, and
played tag for a while. And the Pedo-
meter kept on registering. Then he
saw policeman taking Z drunken man
to the station, and he joined the process
sion for few blocks. And the Pedo-
meter was right on hand with its little
register; then he met some messenger
boys, and they had nice little game of
par. And every time he went over an
other boys back the Pedometer regist-
cred.
And when he was quite ready, he re-
turned to the old gentleman and gave
him the parcel and said he had ridden
both ways, and that the matchmaker
had kept him waiting.
But the old gentleman was ascientifc
old gentleman, and when he looked at
the Pedometer, he was SO much inter-
ested in the phenomenal record the boy
had made that he went around and told
the Company about it, and kept on
worrying the Company, until now that
boy has more time than he wants to play
tag and leap-frog and get larruped by
his kind parents.
Boys, be good and don't fool with
Pedometers.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Oscar Wilde's Story of Rosettfs Wife,

at my request Mr.. Wilde repeated the
story he had told in Boston to the poet
John Boyle O'Reilly's guests, of Reset
It's wife-a beautiful woman, with a
wonderful glory of red gold hair, who
had entered his life to mold and color
it with her love and to shape all his
work. One day, in the act of raising a
Venetian glass filled with wine to her
lips, she died. No one knew why
With her life passed away all his inter-
est and his hopes, and the sonnets
which he felt to be her work as much
as his, he put into leaden casket and
had buried with her in her coffin. Some
wears after his friends begged that he
would restore to the world the poems,
and, at last, they prevailed upon him to
allow them TO be taken from the grave.
To do this, they applied to Mr.. Bruce
Ga secretary and the authority, sup
pose) who, Mr.. Wilde humorously said,
could understand q thing that was an
export or an import, or that had name
on the stock exchange, but TO whom
the word poet conveyed nothing, and
who was lost in amused establishment
that anyone could think that q poets
works could confer honor upon Eng
land. However, in the end permission
was given, the grave was opened, Tie
coffin lid raised, and behold, the beau
tiful red hair had grown to great length,
and wound about her grave-robe; the
leaden casket had broken by weight of
the earth upon it, and the wonderful
hair had grown in and around the SON.
nets, and made a lace-like mesh on ev-
cry page.-Florence l. Duncan IN Qaeiz.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
The Editor, tbe Hopper-Grass and the
Snake.

The editor of the Swainesboro, Ga,
Herald went out hunting Oh Saturday
evening, and while hewas chasing q jay
bird from tree to tree, large chopper
grass few up in front of him and
frightened him very much, and he (the
editor) Immediately shot the poor little
thing; after he had killed the chopper
grass he, in a brave, defiant manner,
said: '.Now, scare me again" He
walked on looking every minute for
another ''hopper-grass' to scare him
again. but he had not gone very far be-
fore he discovered large coach whip
had wound itself around his leg, prepar-
atory to giving him whipping, he got
scared again, he kicked and pranced
around considerable, until he got the
snake extricated from his leg, and i'm
mediately dispatched his snakeship.
He did not stop to look for any more
''iay BIRDS" 'hopper-grasses," and
snakes,n but struck a bee line for
town, where he arrived nearly out of
breath
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
A Business Exclamation

Every established local newspaper re-
ceives subscriptions from large cities
which puzzle the publishers. but which
the New York Times lately explained as
follows: "A wholesale merchant in this
city, who had become rich at the bust
ness, says his rule is, that when he sells
a bill OF goods on credit. TO Immediately
;, Na"ribe for the local paper Of his debt
his customer advertised
I;ho1Ie ionP az - - vested, but
literally and vigorously, ~ 4.
as soon as he began to contract his az
yertlsing space he took the fact as evil
dence that there was trouble ahead and
invariably went for the debtor. Said he:
The man who is too poor to make his
business known is too poor to do bust
ness The withdrawal of an advertise
ment is evidence of weakness that bust
ness men are not slow to act upcn.''
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
For Married People.

You make a mistake when, in your
anxiety for your home and home COM
forts you send your husband to his So
eial pleasure alone, thus compelling
him to seek enjoyment away from your
restraining influence.
You make a mistake when YOU econo-
mize in things that would tend to your
wife's good looks or health, thus depriy-
ing her of her very means of growing
daily more and more attractive in your
own eyes, and cheating yourself out OF
much domestic enjoyment
You make a mistake in being careless
of your person or dress, which forms
one of the principal pictures on memo
RVS wall, the mother or wife in neat
home attire.
You make a mistake when you but
ton your small change in your pockets,
excusing it by the reflection: Il have
not enough for myself; when / have
more than / want / viii divide.n You
make an inexcusable mistake right
there.
You make a mistake when he comes
home, fretted and tired with life's cares
and struggles, that you do not divert
his mind by some cheerful story or
song, and make him feel that no mat
ter how cold and unfeeling the world is,
there is one sure haven of refuge, I'M
failing, to which he is more than well
come.
You make mistake in not taking in
to your business confidence your wife
she who is to use and distribute earnings.
Her skill and foresight would save you
many a heart and headache, if she
could only see things as you see them.
You make a mistake when you set
your children an example of disrespect
for their father, who has the first right
to their and your obedience and atten-
ton.
You make a mistake when your son
comes to you, and in broken tones con-
fesses his error and weakness, that you
do not comfort and strengthen him to
do right, instead of giving censure and
reproof.
You make a mistake when you leave
your young daughter to learn by sorrow
and experience the lessons she should
have been taught at her own tireside.
You both make terrible mistakes in
not walking firmly and honestly, side
by side, in the paths you want your
children TO follow
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
..What colored frame will Won hay

what colored frame will you have,
ma amp" inquired shopman of lady
who had called to have her prospective
husbands picture ll. s.'Hd wen, You
ought to know more about it thai, l.
was the lady's reply. Il want frame
that will match the picture 20. of
course, a'am!' said'the dealer. select
ing one from the large assortment.
"How would a green one do?n That
man has never discovered to this day
why that woman got out so quickly.
leaving the door on wide jar.
The other day a colored lady of
standing, Mrs. Simpson, purchased a
Gainsborough, and visited Mrs. FennelI
1t was evident that Mrs. Simpson pos
sessed a few airs which she wished to
display over Mrs. Fennel. my hus-
band, ;" said Mrs. Simpson, wanted me
ter get finer hat den dis, but rejecting
DAT de twenty dollar bills in de bottom
OF de drawer was gettin' sauter sca'ce
ike, concluded to content myself wild
a five dollar hat" '.Wall, yer was
savin',n remarked Mrs Fennell: and
stepping TO the door, exclaimed, Til
dy. take dat one thousand dollar bin
away from dat chile. He tore up two
yesterday. Oar amt no sense in allow
IN chillun ter 'stroy money in dat way
Mrs. Simpson retired, realizing that her
hat was failure, -.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27

GARIBALDI's BIER-The chamber in
which were laid out the remains of
Garibaldi was filed with flowers, but
otherwise presented an appearance of
great simplicity. His body rested IN a
narrow iron bed, with the head propped
up with pillows, and faced window
that locked seward. There was about
the face an expression of calmness, but
the hands were those of mere skeleton
On the wall above his head hung a
portrait of his mother, an aged woman
wrapped in a crimson shawl, with a
countenance at once sweet and noble
Garibaldi's veneratiop for her was some
thing out of the common. He felt re
morse at having been source of anxiety
to her in his adventurous life, and be
lleved that her prayers bad saved him
from Ill consequences following his
temerity on the field of battle and in
storms at sea. He ascribed his own
tenderness for those who were in trouble
and oppressed to her example.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-07-27
Soft and Hard Scans.

Ordinary soaps are OF two kinds, soft
and hard. Soft soap IS combina-
ton of some fatty or oily substance with
potash, and contains an excess OF alkali.
The hard soaps are a combination OF
the fatty acids with soda; the principal
varieties being yellow soap, made from
tallow and palm oil, and containing a
small proportion of resin to give it lath-
ering properties; curd soap, which is
made from tallow, only u small portion
of olive oil or lard being added to give
it softness; mottled soap, which is pre-
pared from tallow, palm oil and kitch-
en- stuff, and contains portion of in
soluble iron, giving it a marbled APP
pearance. Marseilles and Carlisle soaps
are made of olive oil and soda. q small
quantity of sulphate of iron, sulphuret-
led I've being added TO them while in a
paSty condition. The object of Inasbling
soap with al inSoluble matter is to show
that they contain but little moisture,
since, if too large proportion of water
We're present, the coloring matter would
sink TO the bottom and remain there,
instead of being diffused through the
mass. The manufacture of the differ
ent soaps is very similar, differing only
in minor details. Fancy soaps are made
from pure curd soaps, scented with var
ious perfumes and colored with a variety
of tints. Honey soap contains no honey.
1t is made of good yellow soap. scented
with oil of citrOnella. Old brown Wind
sor soap is curd soap which has turned
brown with age. 1t is now artificialiy
made by mixing caramel with white
soap. Transparent soap is made by dis
color = white soap in spirit and evap-
Grating. Glycerine soap is prepared by
heating the fat with alkali and little
water to about four hundred degrees
Fahrenheit for two or three hours run
ming the mass at once into moulds. Clay
IS often mixed with soap. The motives
for mixing it are too obvious. too well
understood, to require any comment.