Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1882-10-28
NTKIES.

DocroBs live by pillage.
CAIrFoRYIA is raisin' raisins.
A HEAITH-Grv1so number-Quinine.
THE man who had so elastic q step
wore rubbers
How man decides how no will build
his house-By lot.
The chiropodist first dates from Will
lam the Corncurer.
The term Mormon means the NOR
mon-y you have the more wives you can
be sealed to.
The man who hes'tates is lost. That
is why Charlie Ross hesitates about
coming back.
In the voyage of life every man is
provided with skull, with which to
paddle his own canoe.
WICKED New York men want to be
buried in Greenwood, because it won't
burn so quickly as the dry.
DARWIN says: "Man, only can
whistle" Darwin certainly never lived
anywhere near railroad crossing.
A PROCESSION OF men passed through
the Bowery and were an hour passing a
given point. The given loint WAS sa-
loon.
WHATEVER you have to do, do it with
your might. Many lawyer has made
his fortune by simply working with
will.
QUEEN vIcToRA's children stand in
great awe of their regal mamma. No
wonder; che is go much great awe than
they.
ALWAYS pay as you 60" said an old
man to his nephew. "But. uncle, suppose
1 have nothing to pay with2' "Then
don't CO."
EDO TRY and talk little common
sense" said young lady to her visitor.
"Ah, but wouldn't that be taking an
unfair advantage OF you?"
WHAT swindlers there are in college
business An institution in this State
which claims to fit young men for the
ministry doesn't own single croquet
set.
WHosoEvER shall smite thee on thy
right cheek, turn to him the other also,
Is a biblical expression. In modern
| parlance it is termed ga reversible
cuff"
IT seems that competition has forced
the price of false teeth down 80 low that
t isn't really worth body's while to
cut his natural ones. burlington
HaWk-Eye.
SCENE: Bridal reception. Several OF
the guests, after shaking hands with the
bride, and all speaking at the same
time "Where is the bridegroom? .
Bride, naively-" he's upstairs
watching the wedding presents.
ONCE more my eager, searching eyes
A sight OF thee hath 4 addensd;
Once more thou bring st blest surprise
Tohim thine absence saddened.
Too long thy pearl-white hand hath pressed
That Of some other feler,
Come let me clasp thee to my breast
My loved andio.t umbrella
ALL women are naturally afraid Of q
COW. MADAM" said the oleomargarine
dealer, when she uttered shrek at dis
covering that il was bogus butter she
was handling. "madam, you needn't be
alarmed. The COW it was made from IL
100 dead to hurt you.
AN Oh City boy was recently taken To
the opera house by lbs uncle. A few
evenings subsequently there was com
pany at his house, aud the uncle and
aunt were among the number. The lad
was relating what he saw, aud among
other things said: ~ was little Bit
afraid. coz every time the curtain rolled
down uncle went out to see man, and
left me alone"
"PArA," sail an inquisiti,e boy,
"this morning the dominic prayed fol
more rain, and this afternoon Deacon
Bixby prayed for dry weather to get hi,
hay in. Now. il the Lori loves ths
deacon and the dominic just the same,
what do you suppose He'll do about it =
"My son. answered the old gentleman,
sternly, whenever you want TO ash
foolish questions, so to your mother
don't comu To me-"