Connecticut western news., 1882-12-06
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
WHAT WE FIND IN THE HUMOROUS
 PAPERS THIS WEEK. How to Make Home Happy-A Cold Day
 Fatllerly Words. Etc., Etc.

The other night Jones went home in n of those heavenly moods which seem to fit man for better world, and after supper was over and the children had gone to bed, he sat down to spend an evening of unalloyed bliss with Mrs. J. The fact was a pretty book agent had sold him a new work that day, "How to Make Home Happy and though he thought it best at present to leave it at the office and gradually introduce it into the family circle, he was inspired by slight perusal of it to do better.
 So he drew the most comfortable chair in front of the blazing coal fire in the parlor grate and seated himself for the evening, while Mrs. J. filled rocker on his right.
 ''I say, Maria, this is comfort" he said, holding the newspaper between him and the too ardent glow of the fire.
 "Im glad you think so,' answered Maria, shortly. "Perheps if you had your back to cold room without any fire or my prospect of one, you might feel differently. You know the sitting room stove"
 Jones felt that he had started an lln- lucky subject, and he hastened to guide the steed of conversation into smoother paths.
 "That reminds me, Maria, of the old happy past. Do you remember when I used to visit you at your fathers, and we would sit for hours gazing into the glow ing depths of wood fire ?' meandered Jones.
 1T should think I did, Y" responded Mrs. J. T used to wonder if you would ever go. Mother was waiting to set the buckwheat cakes, the last thing, and we always had them heavy for breakfast. How you used to hang on, and how spooney you were ?"
 Failure number two; but Jones had braced up to stay in and make home happy for one evening, and the moral rectitude of his purpose sustained him. "They've started reading club over to Sawyer's, hear, he remarked presently.
 ''To keep him home nights, s'pose, , suggested Mrs. Jones. "Well, it will take club, and good strong one, to do it, though, for my part, I should be glad to have him out of the way if he was my husband. I wonder if he will ever get his wife that seal skin cloak he's been promising her?"
 "Yes," said Jones, faintly, che brought it home tonight"
 say this for Tom Sawyer, he's generous to fault. And he's really bought her z seal-skin and their pew is right in front of ours What luck some women dc have. I suppose it's luck," and Mrs Jones sighed in depressed manner.
 MT. Jones took his hat and said there was man-a customer of his--that was in town stopping at the Russell House and he had nearly forgotten he had al appointment with him on business, anc Mrs. J. skipped out and ran over tc Sawyer's and tried the new seal-skin on and the next day Jones gave that cop. of "How to Make Home Happy" to hi office boy and told him to sell it at secondhand book store and keep tn money Detroit Post
 HE GOT THERE. Everybody who will stop to think mus admit that the gates at the railroad depot are wise provision. One must show hi ticket before he can pass to the train, an' 1t is not once ill thousand times that
 passenger can go astray. And yet gals and annoys lots of people to b railed and penned up and be obliged t exhibit their ticket
 Yesterday morning a very stern an
 Ggnifed man with @ grip-sack in hi
 hand tried to walk through the gates a
 the Central Depot, and when asked fo 3 his ticket he haughtily replied } 'It is in my pocket } 'Let me see 1t. "
 "I will not My word should be proc
 that have it p
 "Have to show your ticket, sir.' II won't submit to any such indie nity p exclaimed the stern man, and h , didn't He entered the freight sheds passed through flour car climbed owe
 lot of hides and crept under baggag car, and finally reached the train he wa after. A brakeman stood at the step and asked:
 "Going West, sir?' , "No; going East. P "Then your train won't go for thre : hours and half yet! This train zoe f West!
 , And the worst of it all was the man 8 , the gate and a dozen others caught O and raised such laugh that the ster : man went down into the freight hous
 and hid behind a box-car. Detroit Ere q Press.
 COLD DAY. s One evening when Lucy's Papa ha 3 come home from the Office and eaten hi r Supper, he went into the Parlor an 3 Planted Himself on the Sofa. After h . had been there a Little While he notice r that Lucy did not come in and Make Break at the piano, as was her custom y This puzzled the Old Gentleman greatly l but he was very Happy, because tn e parents of girls who play the piano usr
 ally feel like taking an AK to that instrr
 ment. But pretty soon Lucy entered th l Room and began telling her Papa ho I much she loved him, and how Dark an J. Cheerless her life would be in case 1t should be Called Above. '- This sort of talk made her Papa fe' l. rather solemn for he had heen tn fl