New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-11-08
Women and Water.

. Z. &
''There's an end to all fishin' for this
season!" sighed the old man dismally.
''Perch was just bitin' good and bass
was commencin' fer to run, but it's all
up now for goodv'
..Why sop
See them three girls out there in a
boat? When three girls goes rowin' the
fish just pack up and slip OUT
''HOw do you account for that
4'Cause girls makes such splashin'
and fuss and slam around so that even
a whale couldn't stand it.. Hear 'em
nowp'
There's a good deal in the PROPOSE
ton that girls ISLAM around some un.
der the conditions nominated, and a
man who takes any interest lin human
nature can hoard great deal of in
formation by watching three women
get into small boat First, there is a
series of squeals, supplemented by an
edition OF yells, closing with an abrupt
dive and then an effort to sit on the
same seat, and prolonged falsetto in
quiries as to why the thing tips over so.
10 the average woman the center of
gravity is always over in the next coun.
ty when she wants to get into boat,
and the idea of equilibrium never en-
tors into her calculation, until the keel
pops up above the surface to see what's
going on inside. As for rowing, the
girl OF the period regards it from a
standpoint peculiar to herself, and in
clines to the opinion that the oar blades
were made sharp because the water is
hard and digging the order of the day.
II claim that no woman can row
boat continued the old man. ..You
see that girl shove one oar in the
water while she holds the other in the
air and abuses the other two for not
steering straight But they get come
up WITH he chuckled. 3'The other day
that same party was out fishin' and
they caught one crab. The crab know'd
they was girls as soon as he got in the
boat. and he just opened his nippers
and them gals walked ashore. l ketched
their boat about a mile below and that
crab was sitting up on the midships
thwart winking at himself for his luck
and enterprise"
''No, sir,'' continued the old man,
glancing out on the river, 'tgirls has no
business in boat, unless it's pulled up
out Of the water. I'd as quick trust q
baby with gun as q girl with boat,
if l had my way. There they gor' and
he pointed to the disaster beyond.
''When they want to change places they
always try to walk past each other on
the same side and that fetches 'em!
The water is nigh on to two feet deep
there. and they are satisfied they are
drowned!'
Did you ever see woman fish?
Primarily she catches the hook in her
dress, drops her hands in her lap and
says ''Pshaw!' Next she denounces the
bait as ''nasty,' refuses to touch it, and
then wonders why nobody does not
string it, on her hook for her. If by
any mistake she gets her line into the
water, she is sure that something is
wrong with the sinker, and if she gets a
nibble she throws the whole business
overheard, falls backward into the bot.
tom of the boat and squeals for help.
Occasionally you will find one who
holds on and captures her prey. Look
out for such woman, Intoxicated
with her success she will swing her line
around her head, tear mans law out
with her hook, and all the time pity the
fish, Brooklyn Eagle.