Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-09-06
PEEASANTRIE&

l# S.SsA ~ ~ = AAGOo
A sEKssADE ous hi to be set in night
key
A ZINE novel is OF course in-ten- cent
s,tion.
WaaaE business is "run down il II
time to have it "sound up"
THnvegetarian's dilninutive pleasantly
Its rare that l eat meat"
HERE's your ring, )" said the bell TO
the belle, and the wedding went on.
Ar tho Hub--"I am tired" said the
wheel. Poor felloe," spoke the axle,
wagon his tongue.
''FoRrrSE knocks once At every
mm's door," but misfortune stalks IN
many times without knocking.
PArrr is thirty nine years old, and has
been Just that old 20 long she u used to
Z md i dossat ~esEy ~ ssaa,a
worth. -
AurTLs girl being asked what shs
was doing with her doll, replied that shs
was making her an angel aud was about
to sew on wingA
IAN honest man is the noblest work
" God" Nothing is said about an
honest woman, because she isn't such
an astounding variety.
WHAT can mike more vocal noise than
q boy driving ten cows through town
Why, . boy driving two cows, Of course.
The more COWS the less noise.
"How OLD are your" said an ancient
dame to a grluning little tar-pot. "Well,
Il | goes by what mudder says, I is most
10, but il goes by de tun Use had, Use
most l00." !
4OsG Of the leading dailies Of Chicago
has resolved not to natlce ba.e-bal
games hereafter. 1t wants all its space
for reports Of divorce cases. Norris
torn Herald.
DEACON JONES was happy, indeed,
when he was told that his daughters.
dear girls, had gone to the revival.
Their M her didn't tell him that it was
revival OF !" Pinafore. "--Bostoa Tran.
script.
A Utica clergyman had occasion tc
refer IN y sermon 10 the prophet Jonah,
aud the report says that he deIicately
spoke Of him as having passed three
days and three nights in the whales
ahem-society.
A TURKEY was shut up in cellar II
Clarke, Va, and lived five weeks with
cat food or water. It il said that tn,
turkey was forgotten, but we are in
ciilied to think that is really the wa,
turkeys are fattened for the city market
Ar young ladies' seminary recently
during an examination in history, OH
Of the pupils was interrogated thus
"Mary, did Martin Luther die mai
urai death r. "No," was the reply, ssh
was accommodated by bull. "--Ha,
yard Lampoon.
FIougEs won't lie, maybe, but 70,
can't bet on the breadth Of mans shout
ders or the girth Of wman's--ha--ches
by measure outside the dress or coat
Oh, no, they won't lie, figures won't
But q Newark cashier can make then
dissemble little.
A LITTLE boy asked mamma the fol
lowing question:, to which all mamma
answers are notyet recorded Mamma
if . bear should swallow me / woul,
die, wouldn't n" Eyes, dear" "An.
would go to heaven 2" Eyes, dear.
"And would the bear have to 20
too2"
THE USE OF TIE BEAUTIFUL.
Whom fails the soulful ,nocnbesm
Upon the bscsysrd fence,
And tunefu fe inc chorist n
Their serenade commences,
Tho suffering nsthetic,
His uttersnce forgot,
Hnrls msdly through the midnight cir
us ioo-too supno~er pot.
PHnF. BIzzozERo, Of turin, has dia
covered q new and important constituen
Of the blood, which he calls "blui
plattchen." They are lenticular boaie
aggregated around the colorless corpus
Giles. II is enoueh to make q man i
down and cry with modification to thin
thst he has TO 60 around with thing
like that in his blood. and no way Of ge'
ting them out-liurdettc.
| GATARRH CURED, health IN
seet breath secured by Shiloh's q
,rrh Remedy Price ~ cents. nj
al injector free.
SHlLGHiS COUGH and Go.
umption Cure is sold by us ON
uarantee. 1t cures consumption.
i SHILOH'S yITAIlZER is VIII,
ou need for costipatiun, loss Of al
settle. dizziness and all symptom
i dyspepsia. Price 10 and Is cen
,er bottle.
GROUP, WHoOPING coUG
nd bronchitis immediately relieve
Shiloh's Cure. For sale by
sLC'A. 1ARis s--sAIyE
Is the most soothing and heasil
Eternal remedy ever ,iiscovere
J 4 Immediately relieves the pain
aalsls and burns, and uaH cure