Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-08-30
couRTraa In a SARATOGA GRAVEYARD.

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couRTIHG III SARATOGA GRAVEYARD.
Eli Perkins writes this conversation to
the New York Commercial Advertiser from
| Saratoga:
" don't think there issas much -sadine
love'maklng in Saratoga nowadays as there
used to be years ago." said old Sexton Pal.
merston as ne leaned on his spade. ':They
all seem to be going for money. Why, I
maven had four genuine love cases in the
graveyard this year. Now, when man is
gong Tor money you don't see him bring
lug MS girl over here"
how does he act when he's going for
money ?" l asked.
Why, ne spends his time around the
norlsFs he heaps presents on her keeps
ner room full OF flowers hands chairs on
the balcony /; always stands ready with her
music programme looks after her mail
always compliments her clothes, and"
And what else ?" asked impatientIy.
"Why, the counting for money lover
even looks after his sweetheart table. He
even goes and brides the head cook to send
her chicken iyers en- broehette, woodcock
and Spanish mackerel. The cooks always
| have these delicacies for guests provided
they are we'll paid for them. Oh he gives
his girl an elegant time, but there's no love
in it.
IS But how does the all for love Young
man go to work ?" l interrupted.
"Why, he don't fool around at dis.
lance, said the old sexton, with bou.
quets, and chairs. and programmes, and
nice breakfasts. He just quietly walks bis
| sweetheart over to this graveyard, and, sit
| ting on one of those benches out under the
trees yonder, he takes her hand and whis-
pers right on her ear-pan. He sits right
down and attacks her heart. He don't fool
around buying flowers for her eyes, nor
candies Tor her tongue, nor perfumes for her
nose he Just gets his arm right around her
heart, and when Il begins to throb and
when her checks get red and warm he
knows that girl Is his'n. Don't stand 30
near the grave, or it'll cave in Why, that
grid rather have one hour of our warm
gravey ard counting than 400 years of such
iceberg counting as l see going on over in
the States parlOrs. There are lots of darped
fool fellows from New York over there
dead in love with the different girls. They
can't help 1t; such splendid, sweet, clean,
klssable girls II wish l had chew OF to-
bacco), but the darned fools don't know
how to court them. Now and then one
understands how to do it, and he'll bring
his girl over here. Why, one hour with a
pretty girl OF one of my graveyard seats,
day, is worth more to real lover than
six weeks OF flirting on the States bal.
cony."
g You seem to know all about the lovers
in Saratoga | said, az | took the old sex
toms spade in my hand.
"Well, ought to know. I've seen this
curtin goin' on for forty years. by jim
miny, there's bone! I'm getting too near
thas other gravel 1 see old gray-hesded
men every day riding UP here in carriages
who courted their wives in this graveyard
forty years ago. There was K. L. Stuart,
the wealthy sugar refner-"
'Bu5 he's an old bachelor" inter-
rupted.
Never mind that. l tell you my
nnses could tell why he never got mar
we'd the girl well enough, and"
DO you remember seeing
Iensre was Mr.. TfNston, of the
MutuA Life. He used to wsfF> around
here, thirty years ago, with heSQ.r
blonde girl. l can zee him now, kissing
that glri-buS I'm not going TO tell all [
know. Andrew H. Green, he married a
girl be courted in my graveyard. Fer.
naDdo Wood used to have a seat here, and
Charles A. Dana, he used to know, forty
years ago, all about flirting in graveyard.
Old James Watson Webb used to walk the
young ladies' up here fifty years ago, and
his son, the doctor, why, he could never
get along at all counting Miss Vanderbilt
till he got her away from the stuck.up
States Hotel, and found himself one day in
one of my seats. l knew Vanderbilt
would lose daughter that night. l tell
youi these graveyard seats mean business
every time. Did l ever have any Senators
or Governors on my seats? Why, of
course. Senator Herman courted two girls
at once in this graveyard, and :
President Arthur knows where all
the best seats are. They needn't be
ashamed Of it, either, for Hamilton and
De Witt Clinton used to do the same thing
when they were boys. Boys will be boys"
continued the old man, as he jumped out
of the grave, and girls will be girls. Girls
with big hearts like to be loved, and fell
lows with big hearts will kiss and love
them. l done care how straight their pa
rents will make them sit up down at the
States, they will occasionally get away
and come up here in the graveyard to act
natural, and I'm the last man to hinder
'em. Why often keep these graveyard
gates open till nine o'clock when there are
genuine lovers enough around to warrant
it. / don't mean fiirters. l mean real,
genuine lovers"
"But how do the lovers manage down at
Long Branch and over to Newport, when
they have no graveyards handy" asked.
81 don't know, but they have mating
places somewhere. l 'speet they cit cut in
the sand under the bluffs, or sits around
under umbrellas in the pavilions, or get in
dismsl corners on the balconies They're
got toby gosh, they're got to ~
That's what the old Saratoga graveyard
philosopher said.
THE DIGNIFIED HARNEY.-The follow
ing story is told of General Harvey when
he was in command at Camp Verde, Texas.
He was an intensely digniied officer, and
if there was one thing he detestei more
than another, it was ua6ienified haste.
One evening, just as he was about to hold
dress parade, he perceived that be had for
gotten his handkerchief, and as the weather
was very hot, he said to his orderly, $50
to my quarters, quick, and bring me my
handkerchief The orderly touched his
cap, and started for the quarters, several
hundred yards distant. After he had pro-
ceeded short distance, remembering there
was no time TO lose, he broke into a trot.
'sSse that scoundrel running as if the In
dams were after him. II there is anything
hate it ID to see soldier running instead
Of marching properly. Here, my man,"
continued Harvey 20 another soldier, "go
after that man and tell him | say to
walk. Tne second scldier started after