Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-05-30
PITH AND POINT.

BOLOGNA is the link that unites man
with the brute.
TIE shad is a fish that wears fine
comb for q backbone.
OSCAR WILDE is an esthetic Irishman
"a kind OF Lily Pad, as it were.
The telephone has developed an en-
tirely-new schoI Of hellocution.
SOME one who has been there remarks
that young author lives in an attic be-
cause one is rarely able to live on his
first story.
ALL persons who invest money for
chances IN turkey rafles are unanimous
ly in favor of drawn as compared with
undrawn poultry.
THE happiest disposition on record is
the Philadelphia woman who smiled
when told OF her husbands death and
who fiirted with the undertaken at his
funeral.
He had plugged a stick of wood with
powder and then carelessly put it in his
own stove But he didn't so explain the
affair whats the use?" he asked.
Nobody would believe it. anyhow"
IT is stated that persons under the
use OF ether are prone to confess their
crimes. If this fact becomes known, it
will be impossible to induce more than
one person In 10000 to take the stuff.
"AH," he exclaimed, as he pressed
her tenderly to him at parting, " shall I
hold you in these arms again tomorrow
and paint our future with the bright pig
To Of
calmly, "not tomorrow; to-morrow's
wash-day."
THE MAIDEN's ADVICE.
Young Fred, bashful yet persistent swain,
Was very much i'll love with Mary Jane
One night she told him, in her tender tone,
1t is not good fer man to be alone"
Fred said, Just SO, YOU darling little elf;
I've often thought of that same thing myself"
Then said the lass, while Fred was ali agog,
"You ought to buy yourself terrier dog"
A NEIGHBoR of Mr.. Miggs, glancing
out OF the window, observed that esti-
mable man plugging up le knot-holes
in his back fence, and ventured to ask
''Any hard feelings agin the woman next
door?" ono, returned Miggs placidly.
Mrs. Ms got rheumatic in the jaw.
and the doctor says she must keep
quiet"
"I'M NOT going to school any more"
said little 4-year-old boy to his mamma,
on his return from his first day at the
kindergarten. "Why, my dear, don't
you like to see the little boys and girls?"
"Yes, but don't want to 60" persisted
the boy, "'cause my teacher says that
to- morrow she's going to try to put an
idea into my head"
THE full term of three years had near
ly expired, and they were discussing at
the breakfast table the certainty that
they must move and the uncertainty ast to
where, when the young miss of the par
sonage drew heavy sigh. Sympathiz-
ing father asks the cause and she re-
plies: ooh, I was thinking what a mis-
take mother and [ made when we mar
ried Methodist minister"
"DAD, were you ever O fish ?" The
individual thus addressed lowered his
chin and gazed over his spectacles at the
boy in speechless establishment. ooh.
don't get mad at me, dad, for asking
you," continued his inquisitive offspring.
Mrs. Cody came in after you had gone
yesterday, and asked ma what she would
do if you were dead, and ma laughed
and said she guessed there was just as
good salmon in the sea as you are"
A YOUNG friend of mine was dining
with his father q few nights ago.
"George," said the fond parent when
they next met, "you took my overcoat
instead Of your own, and regret to say
that found the pockets of your coat full
of cigarettes and matches" Ell discov.
cred my mistake, father" replied the
son, " directly got outside, for found
the pockets of the coat I had on con-
tanned chocolate creams and three pairs
of ladies' gloves. "-London Truth.
"THE country will always be safe,"
says contemporary, 'while her citi-
zens continue to take an interest in pol
tiles" This is true, and 1t is pleasant
to observe that the interest of her citi-
zens in politics continues unabated. And
what more patriotic picture could one
wish to look 1pon than that of man
discussing the tariff question in corner
grocery, while his wife, at home, down
cellar, is rasping her fingers in splitting
kindling-wood?
IT was beautiful little rustic pile
the village church-with lecture-room
in the basement. One evening farmer
of the neighborhood, who was driving
by, observed the latter apartment light.
ed up, and stopped to ask the reason
why Of young man who stood leaning
against the gate. whats going on to-
night ?" ga conversation of the mar
ried men of the congregation" was the
answer. "Found out suthin' agin the
minister, eh?" "You've rulg the bell
the first shot, old man," returned his
informant. The farmer mounted his
wagon with thoughtful look in his face,
and, as he drove off, muttered: carter