Daily globe., 1882-04-30
P1TH AND POINT.

ALMOST every country has its national
melody, but the waltz is the music of
the whirled.
THERE is init-First young lady:
"I could sit here forever" Second DIT
to: "And I till lunch time"
WHY is wine that has been bottled for
years like an unmarried lady of advanced
age? Because it is old made, and none
the worse for it.
DIR. JOHNSON once. speaking of
quarrelsome fellow, said: "H he had
two ideas in his head they would fab ont
with each other"
EMERSON says a man passes for what
he is WORTH No, he doesn't, he passes
for the sake of getting a new trump
Loa0eW Courier.
IF you. Judge of Browns character by
the umbrella he carries, you will form 8
very poor opinion of Smith, for it is
Smiths umbrella.
WHEN man tells story he thinks is
funny and the crowd does not catch On,
his face falls, naturally. 1t is affected
by the force Of gravity.
NOTWITHSTANDING the defamation Of
PrOhibitionists, rubicund-yisaged
friend of ours asserts that "sling In
the hand is better than handin sling.
Cambridge Iribune.
A WITNESS was ON the stand In an j.
legal houor-sale case. The counsel was
trying to find out III what kind of glass
the liquor was handed to the witness.
and at last exclaimed: "What kind of
looking glass was it?" "Begorra, sor,
it was not looking glass at all it was
t1mbler''
THE English word Luggage" is
creeping into American newspapers, and
without reason. Luggage is derived
from ug.-Phaladetl1hi0 Neaos. En-
tirely right. Trunks are not lugged IN
the American system. Theyare smashed
Smashage is the word.-Indionaposss
Nears.
PROF. HARRIS, Boston scientific
sharp, says: "There is a coming of
the macrocosm into the microcostn."
Well, what of it? If the microcosm is
larger than the macrocosm, and the ma
crccosm wants to go in, and has got a
ticket, We don't see what Is to prevent
it. Give us something new.-Peck's
San.
"WHo's that frizzly, black haired
woman talking to my husband on the
ottoman ?'' "She's Mrs. Cardigan" "
"Indeedi she's good at fattering peo-
pie, 7 should say, and knows how TO lay
it on pretty thick" "Ah; you infer
that, no doubt, from her attitude and
expression?" "Oh, dear, no from my
husbands
A COUNTRY girl at fashionable hotel
in the city noticed that all the guests
used their forks only in eating pie. Up
on her return home she reported She
fact to the old lady, who comforted her
by observing You shouldn't mind
'em, Jemima; it's all because they're too
lazy to use their knives"
STRANGE impertinence. Pastor =
Yes, Mrs. Brown. Taking into con-
sideration the fact that the Smiths hard
ly ever pay their pew-rents, it is strange
" bad taste on their part to sing so
loudly and throw such JUNCTION into their
PRAYERS" Mrs. Brown" "Quite too
terribly shocking !''-London Fan.
AT Chautauqua little girl was asked
if she was a Methodist. "Oh ! nop
she replied. 81 am Brethren, and
my mother is Brethren, too" These
were of the United Brethren. At Mon
treal one of the Plymouth Brethren WAS
asked why they never spoke OF the
Plymouth sisters. con- was his an
swer, "the Brethren embrace the
sisters"
A BosToN man took occasion to re-
mark to his wife: "My dear, the infinite
is always silent. 'Tis the finite only
that speaks" She was q dull woman,
who didn't take hints, but she never for
got the remark, and long afterward,
when some friends expressed wish TO
visit the deaf and dumb asylum, she
turned to her husband and asked:
'sWhat days, my love, is the asylum of
the infinite open for the reception OF
finite visitors ?"
DEE-POT-DAY-POT-D
Said Master Jones, " Now must we 60,
without delay to the dee-pot."
Laughed sweet Miss Jones, " should say sc,
I,ets start at once to the day-pot"
Smiled Mrs. Jones, In quick step, oh,
Wen all run down to the dep-pot."
Groaned Mr.. Jones, I" It's mighty hos
To drive you ali TO the dee-pot."
These conflicts Of pronunciation
Would not be if they'd call it "station."
-AoTristolCn Herald.
THE BUTTERFLY AND THE POET.
(The Butter1y.l
On gorgeous wings he foateth along;
Little for this world careth he,
Save for the wild bees somnolens song
And the sweets in the flowers that be;
He sippeth to-day from the lily's bell
Tomorrow he loveth the as well.
(The Poet.l
On gorgeous dreams he Goateth along;
Nothing for this world careth he,
Save for the madens' laughter and song
And the sweets on their lips that be;
To-day blonde Edith be loveth we'll
Tomorrow it's brown-eyed Isabel.