The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-04-25

The Elmirs Advertiser says that 800 miles of
red tape are yearly required to run the washin g
ton departments
IL occurs occasionally to the average mind ths'
lev miles OF hemp might be used without nuca
loss to the country
-Vassar has one smart girl who will in the here
after be heard of in wOmsD's rights societies She
described "straw" a. being . hollow thing with
ten cent man end of il and q twenty cent
drink on the other snd-Ex.
''Straw" might sometimes be described as being
hollow thing with a twenty dollars worth Of
trimming sbo-t il and ten cents worth of girl be-
low il.
In London a lady prosecuted . handsome gen
tsman for Kissing her At a railway station, althouya
he explained that he had mistaken her for some
one else, and had nj the same time apologized.-
Ex.
He should have told her he kissed her for herself
alone and that she was the incest person TO kiss
he ever saw.
1t is rather unpleasant to hear public speaker
remark: NY friends-ur, l wish 10 say q lev
words-ar On this occasion ur," etc.
Trae; but 10 eur is human, very
"A shoemaker states that there is no money in
building shoes for ST. Louis people.
Well, there ought 10 b, ior no doubt they are
nam moth affairs.
Didn't Satan feel tribe bashiul when Jesse
James arrived forming Union.
We did not know before that his majesty staid
in Mrs. Samuers heaven. Thsoaogians had better
study this matter little or the newspaper scrib-
bsrs will he at loss to account for all the peculiar
tiles OF the ''untinely taking Of"
The Yorker Statesman discusses "WOnen ~
Wives" The idea seems feasbe.-N0rristewa
Herald.
But few are feasible wives. The most of the.
wear hne garments, paint, powder, simper and
bang.
"A ST. Louis man Offers a reward of 80 to any
woman who will peel An orange with her fingers
and eat il without getting any Juice on her chin
Detroit Free Press.
Or sack her fingers from ten to dozen times
while the business is going on.
1T is said that under the laws of the pilsrim
athers man could not kiss his wife on Sunday
*.
We know a man who resides in fine house Oh
seventh street that don't kiss his wife on Sunday,
n any other day. He is widower. Other mems
wives and pretty servant girls receive good share
II his attention, however.
Another presidential funeral and our congress.
nen would perish of grief and delirum tremens-
slmira Free Press.
That is slam at q republican, form Of govern
nent and the author OF the above should be
encsd to serve As q school director in Barry, ILL.,,
or one year, without pay.
The Burlington Hawkeye advises those vie
re searching for independence to look in tie
itchen.
Because the hired girl will not suffer the head #
he family to kiss her when his wife is at h,r
asther's on a visit. That is the kind Of q "pud-
ing stick he is when the pa,tner OF his joys and
orrows is away.
Bismarck is compelled 70 swear OF on beer
gain We have heard.-Ex.
And, too. when back-beer day il only one week
way. 1t must make him decidedly in . bad
rame OF mind.
Some fellow has brought out an opera glass,
'hich, he thinks, will fill long felt want. 1t
odds pint OF whisky -Ex.
Alderman Harrison would have no use for the
pera glass, bet when it comes to the whisky he
rould make fall scholar.
Bob Ingersoll is always engaged on the bad
ide. He attacks the Bible and he defends lthe
ar rONters.-Nsw York Star.
But he has not yet placed himself ON the record
being fin favor Of the late jesse James. There 10
ope for Bob yet
The Pttsfeld Herald is publishing the ped
,res of the lawyers Of this cOunty.-Barry Adage.
Will they stand this?
A man claiming to be Jesus Christ was in town
n Wednesday and Thursday.-Barry Adsse.
II was not u. u. Ellis. He has the impudence
claim most anything since he told about the p
Mississippi plantation.