davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
Strange Wedding Fees.

We knew a clergyman who once receiy-
ed from a wealthy groomsman bright pen
nv, inclosed in dozen wrappers. He
always persisted in believing that the in
tention was to give him twenty-dollar
gold-piece. We were not so credulous.
A clergyman who was formerly located
in Hartford, Conn, but now in New York,
married, not long ago, couple who at once
started for Europe The bridegroom was
man of wealth, and before he presented
himself before the bridal altar he placed a
one-hundred-dollar greenbaek in his vest
pocket to give the parson for the marriage
fee, and did not pay it to him as he sup
posed.
While crossing the ocean he discovered,
greatly to his astonishment, the bill in the
pocket where he placed it, and could ac-
count for Its presence there only ON the
theory that he must have ha unother bill
of different denomination which he had
donated to the clergyman by mistake.
On getting back to this country. he de
termined to solve the mystery. and waited
upon the reverend gentleman, who did not
recognize him, and inquired it, on certain
date, he did not marry certain couple.
The clergyman remembered the occasion
perfectly.
Il know | am about TO ask you an im-
pertinent question, said the visitor; 'but
| should like to be informed what fee you
received for performing the ceremony ??
The clergyman recognized the man as
the one he had married, and said that he
would, Of course, crafty him, since he was
so anxious to know.
IL received he then went on to say, "a
very small quantity of fne-eut chewing to-
bacco. folded in very small piece Of paper.
That was enough The only thing re-
manning to be done was to apologize for the
curious blunder, laugh heartily, and make
the one-hundred-dolla deposit good.
An old uncle once brought his niece to
a recsory, on cold, rainy day, to be mar
ricsl. and then, aftcrthe ceremony was over
fumbled about for atwo-dollar bill, and, not
being able to find il, said. as he handed the
parsou five-deIlar bill
Take the change out Of that for two
dollar job Its kind o wet and cold ike
to-day, and guess two dollars viii be
about the thing
OF course the amount os a marriage fee
is delicate question, which clergymsn are
generally too modest To determine, much
more 10 ask; but we never heard il disposed
OF 81 neatly as this
A Quaker married woman Of the
Church of England. After the ceremony,
the vicar asked for his fees, which he said
were = crown.
The Quaker astounded at the demand,
said If be would show him any text in the
scriptures which proved his fees were a
crown. he would give il To him
Upon which the vicar turned directiy @
the I2th chapter Of Proverbs, eth verse,
where il said .--"A Sirtuous woman i a
crown tn her husband Philadelphia
N,f4rsifg NfgLf
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
d6lit and gampr.
"reminiscences of Washington.

You say, / remarked to the old negro
who drove the hack, ':that you were Gener-
al Washington's body servant p
Oats so OATS jes SO, massa | done
waited on Washington since he was SO high
no bigger'n small chile.
"You knoa the story, then, about the
cherry tree and the hatchet n
"Know it? Why I was dar on de spot.
| seen Massa Gawge climb de tree after de
cherries, and seen him fling de hatchet at
de boys who was stonin him. / done chase
dem boys off de place myself
"Do you remember his appearance as a
man? What he looked likelp
aYes, indeed. He was kinder short,
chunky man, sorter fat and hearty lookin'
He had chin whiskers and moustache and
spectacles Mos generally wore a high
hat; but | seed him in fur cap wild ear
warmers
you were not with him, of course, when
he crossed the Delaware-when he went
across the Delaware riyer?1
"Wid him Yes, sir; | was right dar. /
was not NOR n two feet off n him as he
druv across the bridge in his buggy OATS
afac'. Iwalked 'longside deoff hind wheel
of dat buggy all de way"
''You saw him, then, when he fought
the British at Trenton ~
Sho's you're born I did | held Mossa
Gawges coat an hat while he fought the
British at that very place Massa, Gawge
clinched him, and den day rassled, and at
frst he frew Massa Gawge, and den Massa
Gawge flung him, and set on him and done
hammered him till he cried 'nuffl Massa
Gawge won dat fight seed him wild my
own eyes! An come home wild him in de
kyars
"You weren't with him. though, when he
shot the apple off the boys head y
who wa MT wild him? wa MT? was de
only pusson dar 'ceptin' one white man.
loaded Massa Gawges revolver an han'ed
it to him, an picked up de apple an eat it
as soon as he knocked it off, Nobody can't
tell dish year old niggah muffin bout dat
cireumstane.
you know all the generals relations,
too, ! suppose? Martin Luther and Peter
the Hermit and the rest ?"
'Knowed um all Many and many's de
times done waited on de table when Massa
Gawge had 'um to dinner. | remember
dem too gemmen jess wells if I'D seen 'um
yesterday. Yes sab; an | druv um out
often r
I've frequently seen pictures of Wash
ington in which he is represented sitting
upon a white horse Did he really ride
white horse, or don't you recall the color Of
his horse?''
why, bress your soul; cad de color oh
de hoss-'eall de color oh it2 Do you see
dish yer nigh hoss dat I'm am drivin now,
right yer? Well, dat's de very hoss Mas
"a Gawge used to ride He lef it to me in
his will !"
Just then we reached the station, and I
dismOunted from the hack and paid Wash
ington's body servant for his service No
doubt longer conversation with him would
have revealed other new and startling facts
relating to the Father of his Country
lHpr Adelev.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
What a wife should Be.

Has thar woman a call to be a wife who
thinks more of silk dress than her chill
dren. who visits her nursery no oftener than
once a day? Has that woman call to be
a wife who cries for cashmere shaw when
her husbands notes are being protested 2
Has that woman 4 call to be a wife who
sits reading the hast novel while her hus-
band stands before the glass vainly trying
to pin together battonless shirt bosom ?
Has that woman call to be a wife who
expects her husband TO swallow diluted
coffee, soggy bread, smoked tea and watery
potatoes six days inseyen? Has she call
to be wife who firts with every man she
meets. and reserves her frown for her home
freside? Has she cali to be wife who
comes down to breakfast in abominable curl
papers, soiled dressing gown, and shoes
down at the heel ? Has she call to be
wife whose husbands love weighed naught
in the balance with her next door neigh
bor's damask curtain or velvet carpet ?
Has she call to be wife who would take
advantage of moment of eonjugal weak
ness to extort money or exact a promise ?
Has she call to be wife who takes
journey for pleasure, leaving her husband
to toll in close office, and have an eye,
when at home, to servants and children
Has she cali to be a wife to whom good
husbands society is not the greatest of
earthly blessings and house full of rosy
children its best furnishing and prettiest
adornment?
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

A law suit once settled some strikingly
original features Among other articles, a
lady purchased coffee pot. But neither
she nor her maid could make coffee from
il, and it was returned to the dealer. He
refused to receive it, and the husband sued
him. In court the defendant managed his
own case The manner Of procedure was
very unique, to say the least. The dealer
took the coffee pot and liberal supply of
coffee, sugar and cream, gasoline stove
and coffee mill into the court room The
coffee was ground in the presence of the
jury, the gasoline lit in the stove, water
and coffee were put in the pot, and allowed
to boil over the gasoline blaze. At length
the eoncoetion was pronounced complete,
properly mixed with sugar and cream, and
passed to the jurors and justice, What
jury could notwithstand such sweet bland
ishments? They called for more, and as
there was plenty and to spare, their request
was granted, At length the jury retired
for consultation, and ON returning, rendered
a verdict for the man who made the coffee.
II generally pays to appeal to the appetite
of men.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
The Turkish bachelor.

II be be q bachelor, Church and State
combine to make hfe miserable for him.
He must live with his parents, and, whilst
they still exist, the authorities content
themselves with general apprehension of
his celibacy. But when they die, if they
leave him homeless, his troubles begin. 1t
Is forbidden any householder to take a
young man into his dwelling without per-
mission of the civil and religious magis-
trate Of the quarter. Before this is grant
ed. the lodger must undergo a severe in
auiry. which takes into account not his
personal reputation only, bat that Of all
his kindred. The landlord, moreover, must
display his ability TO have this young
stranger waited ON without oifense TO NOR
als-that is, without employing his female
servants, OF the female members Of his
family, If the bachelor be rich enough to
occupy house, or to rent 'unturnlshed
chambers" he cannot possibly obtain that
simple privilege unless he show that
woman of good repute lives with him
therein. Those who can produce blame
less mother or a sister have no difficulty,
when the identification has been thorough
" established; even an elderly aunt Is ad-
missable. But if young man have no
kindred. he may go homeless for an indei-
mite time. The abolition of the slave trade
is grievance he warmly feels. In days
when this edict was passed, one could go
into market and buy female creature,
white or black, ugly or beautiful, according
to ones means, and thus fulfill the law,
Times have changed. 1t may probably be
the fact that slaves are still to be purchas-
ed by those who have cash enough. Many
Turks have assured me it is so, though |
have met none who spoke, or admitted that
he spoke, from experience. But the cost
is very high; the merchants weuld not deal
with young bachelor likely to be thus
circumstaneed; and the transaction would
surely be discovered
He has, therefore, to find a servant. 1t,
for any reason, he will not, or cannot, OBJ
tain Christian, his case is pitiable. The
injunction to wear veil, neglected among
the lower class of Moslem elsewhere, and
triAed with by the higher class in Turkey,
is rigidly kept by women such as he is
seeking. When there is a lady ruling the
household, compromise is permitted where
servants, being few, must work hard. Cow
ering the hair in presence of male members
of the family is thought enough. But the
muftis and the cadis, the imams, and the
niemas, would be Mortified at the idea of
such gross immortality if it occurred in a
bachelors house. lie must wait there
fore, living as he can, until some one will
cede to him, for love or money, an ancient
woman to do propriety; or he may hire a
chaperon. Thisessential piece of furniture
secured, he has a domestic spy in his house,
who viii report his every word and action,
in the interest of the State and of public
morals.-AH the Year Round
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
People Who don't KIN Themselves.

Too much silyerware at the start Is a
dangerous thing for young couple, says
modern philosopher, for it calls for other
things to correspond, and will keep the
young man on strain to keep up appear
anees. l knew pair of brass andirons to
ruin man thirty years ago, and he never has
recovered from it, for they called for fender
and the fender called for fine rug and the rug
for a carpet and carpet for curtains and
eorniee and SO on and so fourth and fifth
and sixth, until he got in debt and tried to
sell his house to pay out and couldnt t
sell it but the sheriff came along and sold
it just as easy. Extravaganza and trying
to keep up with the neighbors is the great
domestic trouble in this country. 1t brings
on financial distress, and that causes specu-
lation and embezzlement and dbamboozlement
and ends in whisky and suicide. There is
no security in this life but honest industry
and living within ones means. Folks who
do that don't kill themselves.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

Deaf people sometimes hit on strange
truths. The other day young damsel was
addressing pious old gentleman who was
so deaf that, as Hood says, he couldn't hear
anything, even if an earwig had carried in
the news, and she happened to say Of the
new minister that he was Just married.
"Has he got it bad? ?" shouted the listener,
who had evidently misunderstood There
was nothing to do but to shake the head
negatively, but the pious man continued,
"The ways of Providence are very peculiar,
aren they?'' This time there was an affirm
ative shake of the head. At last the old
gentleman asked again, "Do you think he
will ever recover? Tell him when yoa see
him how sorry | am, will you'll 1t was
afterward discovered that he thought the
new minister had caught fever. And his
comments were made accordingly.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

A countryman brought mule to town
yesterday and tied him in front of store
where there is a musical clerk on tap. The
mule quietly listened to the alleged music
for time; but as it waxed stronger his soul
stirred to its utmost depths. He seemed
to recognize the tune, and as it floated out
on the chill November air, scenes of his
childhood's home hoated before his mental
vision. Opening his mouth, he gave way
to wild burst of song which, joining with
the music of the store clerk, created such
harmony as is produced seldom but by the
blending notes of horse fiddle and cross
cut-saw, The music was so exquisite that
Hibernian lady, who was passing, paused a
moment to admiringly exclaim, Il wonder
which of the craychures sings the swatest.
OIL Crtg Derrick.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
The Noise Of Cannon.

In an article describing the Confederate
charge on the last day Of Gettysburg NJ.
Quad says in the Detroit Free fress:--At
= o'elock, while there was almost perfect
silence over that great battlefield, the sud-
den boom Of gun was heard from Lees
centre. It's echoes were vet rolling back
aud forth from hill to hill when there came
a crash as if the heavens aud the earth had
met. Lee had opened with nearly 1850
pieces Of artillery. Meade had massed
eighty or more gRRs in the center 10 reply,
and now 300 cannon began their awful din.
An officer standing within thirty feet of
three six-pounders which are being rapidly
fired must shout his orders One standing
as near as that TO full battery could not
hear thunder-clap in the sky above The
roar of twenty pieces of artillery will drown
Ordinary voices half mile away McClel-
Ian had sixty or seventy guns massed At
Malvern Hill, and dishes were shaken down
in houses six miles away. The eannonade
at the first Bull Run was nothing compared
to subsequent battles, and vet the reverber
ations were distinctly heard in Washing
ton, twenty miles away. The eannonade
at fredericksburg toppled down farmhouse
ehimneys eight miles distant, and was heard
twenty-five miles. Think, then, of 230
pieces of artillery, many of them Parrot
guns. massed ON the crest of hills and all
firing as fast as men could serve them
An earthquake could not thus have shaken
the earth Men hacame ariddy and stag
gered, and houses seem to lift off their
foundations. In ten minutes after the first
gun was fired one could no longer distin-
guish single reports. Allreports were con-
solidated into one terrible roar, which
alarmed cattle in the fields fifteen miles
away, and was plainly heard by human ears
forty miles away.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

A man is oftentimes willing to recon-
mend remedies to his neighbors which he
would be very slow to take himself The
best proof you can offer of the value either
of medicine or of religion is that you
have tried it, When man appeared be-
fore Bismarck, some years ago, with an
armor which he said was bullet proof, the
statesman inquired, 'are you sure ?" 'a0h,
yes, perfectly sure, was the reply. "You
may let one of your soldiers try it mo,
have better plan than that, said the
shrewd politician Put it on yourself; and
do you, turning to lieutenant who was in
the room, stake him down to the barracks
and FIRE six shots at him at short range.
If he is killed | do not want his armor; if
he isn't I'll report the matter to His Majes-
ty. The inventor was so pressed for time
that he couldn't possibly comply, and the
armor is still seeking purchaser.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

FRIENDLY PEoPLE-The influence of
genuine friendliness is wonderful. We have
met people who were so kind and cordial in
manner, so responsive in look and greeting,
and SO swift in doing and saying courteous
and gracious things, that they seemed to
diffuse sweet atmosphere around them.
How beautiful they were, even though they
had plain face and rough hands. No face
is hopelessly plain through which friendly
soul looks out upon the world
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

A famous North-country clergyman,
whilst preaching few Sundays since from
the text, He giveth His beloved sleep,
stopped in the middle of his discourse,
gazed upon his slumbering congregation,
and said Brethren, it is hard to realize
the unbounded love which the Lord ap-
pears to have for a large portion of my
present auditory !''-London Life.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

Gen. Wallace, the American minister
at Constantinople, was recently invited
by the Sultan to witness drill of his
household troops, and he thus describes a
performance of the Circassian cavalry -
"Four companies, magnifeently mounted,
were in line, A bugle call, and the right
company dashed through to the front full
speed. Another call, there was beautiful
feat. Each man reached out with his right
hand, caught the rein close to the bit, pull
ed hard, and threw his horse fiat on his
left side, dismounting as it went down.
Then, on the ground behind the horse, he
began firing as a skirmisher A third call,
the company rose up with their horses and
retreated at full speed, reforming as they
went. AS / had never heard of such a
thing you can imagine my astonishment.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

A middle-aged boy, writing compost
ton on Extremes" remarked that 1--WE
should endeavor to avoid extremes, espec-
tally those of wasps and bees"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

Marriage" said an unfortunate hus-
band, lis the churchyard of love- "And
you men, 4" replied his wife, ''are the grave
diggers"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10
Select 4oetrp.
AFTER THE STORM.

AFTER THE STORM.
After the furious rain,
After the sweeping storm,
The world is bright again
With the sunlight clear and warm.
The grass is o deeper green,
Blossoms are pure and sweet,
Wherever light is seen
The flowers have come to greet
The sky is a fairer blue,
Carol of bird more clear,
The touch of life more true
Than before the storm so drear.
Nature is eharmingly fair
Her gaze the heart beguiiess
The storm which fills the air
Is wreathing her face with smiles.
Beauty is filling the land.
Glories circles the sky,
Graces are hand in hand
since the sweeping storm went by.
Bosom Transcript.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-06-10

Wanted to know the exact length of a
rope used when a man is ''tied to time.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1882-06-14

IIla2 sri IA and pu.c' lie c,rc5l.1 =, 4 ,2-src .,
~i',o"d "r'i en'e'lee,i 1,lte,r trs.:a IL. Al<,
EAAsj
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1882-06-14

-..'. ID. .'... - rs, e1ca "a
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1882-06-14

Treats Az <;srcsssr and a-psciat.ysi#ra~rs
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-03-24
NOTES OF THE DAY.

Senator Anthony. of Rhode Is
land is now approaching the close
of his fourth term of continu-
| GUS service in the senate, and if he lives
/ to complete another term, to which
there is no doubt of his election, he will
have equaled the famous thirty years of
Thomas FL. Benton.
The biggest thing in the Supreme
Court Is not the best, pecuniarily. The
/ Chief justice gets S10,500 a year, and the
Associate Justices $4,000 each but the
humble clerk of the silk-robed tribunal
pockets about 10000 annual dollars in
fees.
Mr. Bancroft, the veteran historian.
has almost finished the last volume of
his history The Critic says: "Mr. Ban
croft writes that the printers can work as
fast as they please, and he will keep pace
with them"
The wife Of the postmaster at Dick
son, N. c. embezzled ten dollars from
letter. To save her he plead guilty, and
was sentenced to one years imprison-
ment. The noble fellow has been par
doned.
The Memphis Avalanche claims that
the present system of improving the
Mississippi and preventing overhows
was discarded 1000 years ago by Chi
uese civil engineer as worthless.
1t is now understood.that President
Arthur will take no action in the case of
Sergeant Mason until he has served
with good behavior a considerable por-
ton of his sentence.
A Virginia man on his way to get
married, was shot by a pistol carried in
his hip pocket. Served him right for
carrying pistol on such an occasion.
1t is proposed to erect in the csntral
hall of the new Cotton Exchange in New
Orleans statue to Eli Whitney, in
yentor of the eotton-gin.
Paul Hayne, the Georgia poet, is dan
gerously i'll at his home near Augusta
He recently suffered another severe
hemOrrhage.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-03-24
STATE BONDs-HIGH FIGURES

STATE BONUS-HIGH FIGURES.
Mention was made yesterday by the
EXAMINER of the recent purchase, by
the state, Of $4,000 in bonds, known as
"long seyens." They bear seven per
cent interest and were due in 1904, with
out the right to call until due. The
price paid was $40. Treasurer Lub-
book, explaining the transaction to re-
porter of the Galveston News, said:
This IS apparently high iIgure, but 1t is
the very best arrangement that has been made
or could have been made. in the past twelve
months. The bonds now tsker up would have
TWENTY-FIVE years more to run, and tte state bv
buying them In now saves in interest slone 1854
on every 500 bond. Eyou Will calculate. vou
VIII see that the advantage made to rhe state IA
equivalent to an Investment of its own money
for Its own benefit 1910 Der cent per annpm
for the twenty-five years
1t is further learned that within tbo
past twelve months the purchases
OF tins character viii aggregate as much
as SlOO0,000, which is Il reduction Of tbe
/ public debt to that amount. Perbaro =
IS as well that the surplus revenue has
been used for this purpose. The money
was laying idle in the treasury and there
was no constitutional method by which
II could be returned to the tax-pay-
ersr even were such a course de-
'lrable' which we question. All things
considered the administration has used
the sl,4OoOO0 necessary to purchase a
million in bonds about as adyanta-
geousIy could be exI ected. Weaward
ine chief credit Of this policy to the
Governor who is undoubtedly sincerely |
deslTous OF seeing the state put in the |
best financial position possible The
Old gentleman may emulate joey Bag
stock IN some respects, but he is practi-
eally honest and careful.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1882-03-24

The North Texas Stock Association
composed Of representative cattle mem
IN session at Gainesville, Wednesday
adopted a resolution declaring that it is
unwi-e to fosterone industry or auother
IN any part ofthe state to the prejudice
or exclusion of any other, and that men
have equal rights to so into the rublic
lands and follow their calling. EFT tn
Brute" will doubtless be the Governors
mental comment on this action. which
Is dash of cold water on his PROPOSE
ton to the late Stockmens' convention
at Austin.