Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-07-26
AN ESTEEMED CORRESPONDENT.

Prescott. IN Our Continent:
AN ESTEEMED CORRESPONDENTS
"Do you know me?" asked the tall
man, resting his fists on the managing
editors desk and grinning grin of su-
periority. 81 reckon you don't know
who l am !"
"Who are you?" asked the editor
savagely.
"Well, I thought you didn't know
me exclaimed the tall man delighted
ly. "Now I'm going to tell you who 1
am. Look cut now The information
is coming! I'm Anxious Inquirer, who
writes puzzles for the paper. Got me-
now? Begin to identify me now ?
I'm the Anxious Inquirerl' That's
me
Are you the man who always wants
to know whittier we are drifting, and
when the Democratic party is going to
make its organization impregnable by
widening Boreum placep Are you tha.
man2"
"Yes, yes !" roared the tall man with
chuckle, "and wants to know whether
it's healthier to sleep on goose or tail
feathers; and why the President doesn't
assert himself by breaking down the OPP
position faction and whether the moon
is the direc. offspring of the earth or the
sun. That's mel I'm that man You
have read my articles
"Well, ] should remark !" replied the
editor. Especially that ono which de-
manded whether the Common Council
should sink knavery long enough to
connect your house with the sewer, and
another about the duty of the hour as
compared with the lesson OF the times.
l remember them." and the managing
editor rose to his feet.
"That's it! Those are mine! !" the
tall man squealed. "And that's mine
about the rock On which the Republi-
can party was bound to split unless the
leaders changed their course in time TO
avoid the dangers that threatened them.
You remember that one 1t was
scorcher
mot patch to the one on the doom
Of our educational system, if the School
Board failed ss build e new pine fence
around No. 49," said the editor, gradu-
ally edging around the table. "And
it didn't come anywhere near the one on
the production Of whisky in the West
as compared with the prohibitory tend
ency of the East !"
81 declare! You remember those
I'd almost forgotten them" and the tall
mans eyes danced in his head. "But
do you recollect the discussion between
me and Constant Reader, that ran
along for two months, on the advantage
of rye straw over wheat straw in drink
ing lemonade? Didn't ] lay him outa
Did you ever see man so badly licked
since you left school
"It was terrible !" assented the man
aging editor, leaning down and fumbling
behind the door, "but liked the con-
troversy between you and PRO Bono
Publico best on that subject of opening
the parks to goats between and 8
q. M"
Wasn't that good? Wasn't it2
Wasn't that the closest discussion you
ever printed? And you remember that
'Veritas came in and how ! wiped
him! / tell you, sir, those things take
Al"
Bang and down came an Indian club
on his skull.
"Don't know you, don't II" yelled
the managing editor, as the club rose
and fell with miraculous celerity and
precision. "Oh, maybe don't! You
and your spelling, and punctuation and
chirography as bald as bat Don't r.
And when they swept out the splint-
ers of the club and took the chronic COR
respondent to the drug store the man.
aging editor went out to the form and
made up two columns Of "anxious in
quiries," ranging from the price of os-
trich milk TO the name Of the dentist who
filed Solomon teeth. b.-Brookiyn Eagle
TIE London Times is the victim Of
conspiracy within its walls which the
proprietors can neither suppress nor de-
tect The plan pursued by the parties,
who evidently desire to iniure the paper,
is to smuggle into the columns vile and
obscene reading, and heads Of families
are becoming fearful Of taking it into
their homes. The managers are laying
for the perpetrators. but are not conf
dent Of detecting them.
In Berlin there are now Ats newspa-
pers and periodicals, Of which 43 arc
classified as official organs, &c as politi-
cal mouth pieces, i43 as auxiliary 10
science and art, $50 as serving the in
terests Of commerce, trade and agri-
culture. 81 as being religious in their