Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-11-25
A BATCH OF JOKES.
WHAT THE FUNNY PAPERS nAYE TO
SAY THIS WEEK
rev Texas SiitingS-An Incident in Peun's
Iiie-A Ready Agent -AIlspice, etc, etc.
TEXAS SETTINGS.

HAD HIM THERE. You have been M
here before me half IA dozen times this
year, said an local Austin Justice. Sc
VereIy, TO local yagrmt.
Come now. Judge none of that. Every
time We been here I've seen Won here.
You are here more than / am. People
who i've in glass houses should not
throw stones.
4 HIGH-ToNEp LAWYER. Two Austin
ladies were conyersing about matters
and things in general when one Of them.
Mrs. Stuckup asked
Haven't you got brother In New
Orleans vino is Il criminal lawycr?"
"les. he practices law. but lac never
defends amy criminals unless thev belong
to the first families. He has t. hc - s
he'd with themsocial status hcfg, ne viii
f-lls,-..iiit 10 take ficiT cases
EpUcArioNAL IrEM.-A Young man Of
twenty Years of age opened private
school Ia Austin. One Of the first parties
10 bring him Il scholar was one Of the
most fashionable and intelligent ladies in
Austin. She came with her son. aud
asked the price If tuition
Three dollars per month, replied
tlr Noutlnul pIcccplhf.
why you must he crazy For that
much money | can have linn taught bv a
teacher who wears spcctaclcs and has q
bald head
\ BAD TEMPER. You Say you vile
get, mad and raises row =
i should say She did. She makes
enough fuss to run freight trci. forts
miles an hour
But il You knew that she was in the
habit Of getting mad. why did you marry
hcr?'
"Becausa if had held back she would
have got madden than ever.
SHE WANTED NOTICES.
! gentleman whose wife had instructed
him to purchase few nice. appropriate
notices. became inebriated and forgot
gust what was wanted OF HIM He had
confused notion that his wife's request
was in some way relative to his purchase
of something il the way of SIGN cards. So
called upon dealer aud purchased quite
vniaty.
I've got EN- Chic) my dear. He-he-
here q whole lot nice ms. he said. as
he triumphantly produced the package.
With q sigh over his maudln coudi-
ton ~h" opened the parcel and found
the following:
:. Hands OF. Your Choice for Five
Gents, Look Ont for the Locomotive. J"
" Keep Oft the Grass-No Dogs Admit
ted. " Ham Sandwiches Ten { MIS-
Each, For Rent. " Tom and jerry.
i Oysters in All STYLES.
Then the lady went down town and
-.-,, y Il
husband woke up one morning after
spree that cost him four hundred dol
lais, a placard stared him In the face
from his bedroom wall. " Rum Did 1t. !"
and Whom he turned over with a groan
he noticed the warning. "Shm the
Bowl. Shifting mea-ily to the other
side he caught sight o. Death in the
Cup. He hasn't been drunk since
READY AGENT.
The agent of a New York fire insur-
ance company, who VA, soliciting ins,u-
ancc in an interior town recently. cr-
c2untered 2 merchant. who asked:
How large a surplus has Your com
pany?"
"Over million dollars.
How many seaside hotels have YOU
insured"
j. I{aw n,a',,. ,.;II INN, .I,i. r;.4..9"
1val r",rto',, ~ a.. ,I, - 1:7
,o+ - - ,''', = W. w
tl,'rlr"ro ti,,r. ma +,,..l ,,'''.l,
,,,..,t,. m, ''''' w. I'm,
60 am Tr.l', ,'''.,,.D' . :, n .',,'
,yI;ch ,n.r. .n,l,;,a '.' .'',,,,'
like ours. Even ii SIX OF the public
.+;n l,.,,.. .I M, .ooo ono ','1' 1''.''
moe. amy. - ,',,..,..I ~ ~
-. - '''''''" "i'
The merchant said he liked ~ sos 4
company figuring on losses rs well a.
profits. and h. insured hi, = 600 stock
for 81. 800 wan STREET .Nws.
EVERY MAN FOR ,uusrrr
m
~ huron, 'a'"i' ! FLl'1fI' '"t i"tS
S''e IL 'i'lI - ''''S'ii ~, .i-'' |" i.;ii til'
= 9,'i' ~ az VIsv'''i' ~ y were WI ma
~ ~ = 49, ny 4 ~ =, ~ N"I ~
''''S' ~ io'''1t'' ne g. I'm !'ad me
i,,,'i',H '', N""i''E "illil'!s7 !oH9f'
~ p",il'L 'li' county ."lhiHi~Niohgf'
We ,'"l 'lt' "Ii! titi''S 3o"'lI tIi''. Z"
on !" ne hCN' or Register OF
1, 20 % No "h 81
~ No matter ahout INC IN rill.
Io on 10 inc Probate Judge Probate
Judge Probate Judge cred score. OF
N"ices. an sorry 10 "nnounc" that
.i'' VOC ior Ifooat' J"d$e Is = ne ana