davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-11-03

ARRIVAL OF THE "JERsEY LILY. Y."-Mrs
Langtry, the famous English beauty and &C.
tress, arrived in New York on the 23d ult.,
by the steamer Arizona" She was at once
beset by crowd of reporters, to one of which
she said II suppose / am to be interview
ed-isn't that what you call it Well, sup
pose that tell you great many things, and
then you can say in your newspaper what
you think worth saying. First, then, I act
because like it-really like it. look upon
the stage as my profession and 1 think it no
compliment that my position in society," if l
have any, should be given the credit of my
recent stage success, such as it has been. /
am very much afraid of acting here, to tell
you the truth for feel that must win un-
aided by the social support which my friends
at home have given me. have stage fright
for ten minutes every night in England, and
here it may be twenty. l shall play in AS
You Like It., in The Honeymoon in She
Stoops to Conquer and in An Unequal
Match l choose my own parts, and Mrs.
Labouchere drills me in everything. l shall
play here for six months and then go home to
rest l have no engagements after that, Mr..
Abbey having tempted me away from an en-
gAgement at the Haymarket theatre in Lon
don. There, is not that everything that the
public can possibly wish to know? believe
that my success is partly due to hard work,
which l like, and the great kindness of
friends" Mrs. Langtry will make her first
appearance Oct. 80, at the Park theatre, New
York, in Tom Taylor's "Unequal Match"
Ticket sales began Monday night and amount
ed to nearly $4,000.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-11-03

BABBLING WoMEN-A law of Virginia
passed in the year. 1862 reads as follows :
"Whereas, many babbling Women slander
and scandalize their Neighbours, for which
their poor Husbands are often involved in
great Damages; Be it enacted, That in Ao-
tions of Slander ocoasioned by the Wife, after
Judgment passed for the Damages, the Wom-
an shall be punished by Duckingj and il the
Slander be so enormous as TO be adjudged ut
greater Damages than Five Hundred Pounds
of Tobacco, than the Woman to suffer
Ducking for each Five Hundred Pounds of
Tobacco sdjudged against her Husband if he
refuses to pay the Tobacco"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-11-03

GEN. BUTLERs TREATMENT OF VERMONT.
ERs.-Col. Albert Clarke of the Boston Sun
day Times formerly Of the st. Albans Mes
senger), recalls, in a review of Col VIM. c.
Holbrook's history OF the 9TH Vermont regi-
ment, Gen. Buffers attempt, after the battle
of Baton Rouge, to fasten a charge of cow
ardce on the Nermonters, who have cordially
disliked him ever since. When, in 1862, Gen
Butler began to organize his New England
division, he made trip to Vermont in the
hope of raising men there. He was unsuc-
cessful, because the Vermonters did not fancy
him as commanding officer but the 7th
Vermont was afterwards assigned to his com
mand in the department of the Gulf, and the
regiment soon discovered that it was not a
prime favorite with him. Just after Baton
Rouge was fought-the memorable engage
ment in which Col. Roberts fell-Gen. Butler,
who said he acted according to the official re-
ports of the battle, charged the 9TH Vermont
with cowardice and took away their colors,
which he said they had deserted Col Hol-
brook succeeding Roberts, requested a court
Of inquiry, but Butler refused it, and it was
only after the Vermont Legislature had demand
cd ON investigation that court was appointed
and the charges tried. The court, composed
Of officers under Buffers command, exonerat-
ed the accused regiment and said moreover
that the commanding officer had received mo
official reports on which the charge of cow
ardice was based The general tried to let
himself down easy by explaining that it was
the camp colors, not the regimentRl colors,
which had been left behind and that reports
had led him into q mistake but, says the
historian, he knew very well that the desert
ed banner was only n tattered guidon which
had been left in camp as past usefulness. And
this is why the Nermonters do not love Gen.
B. f. Butler
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-11-03

A raw boned Irish woman entered one Of
the national banks, Providence, the other day
and presented check at the Cashiers desk.
The Cashier looked at her and said politely,
Madam, you must get identified" Faith,
an what's that" "Why, you see you are a
stranger to me- don't know you" "Will,
thin, I'm not too proud to introduce mesilf to
yez My names Sary MacFlinn, an I'm not
ashamed of it !" "Well, but you see l cannot
tell whether you are the person whose name
is on the check, said the Cashier, too polite
to tell her that perhaps she was lying about it,
'An' what did ye say must do?" Identify
yourself Bring some one here who knows
YOU" 'Indade An who knows me better
than know mesilfw The Cashier paid the
check without another word.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-11-03
SUFFER

no longer from Dyspep-
sia, Indigestion, want Of
Appetite, ,iOssO of Strength
lack Of Energy, Malaria,
Intermittent Fcvers, &c.
BROWNS IRON BIT
TIERS never fails to cure
all these diseases.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1882-11-03

AhNnA'lt sHhNNlNF'I ~ 1901
BRowS CHHMtcAL CO.
Gentlemen - For ears ] have
been a great sufferer from Dyspepsia,
and could get no cflh9v.ng tried
everything which was recommend
ed) until. acting on the =. vice OF
friend, who had been benefited by
BRows's lUoS EUrEps. ! ,rieI a
bottle, with most surprising resaits.
Previous TO taking BroWs's lRuS
BIrrEKs, everything ate distressed
ne, and ! suffered greatly from a
burning sensation In the stomach,
which was unhearallc. Since tax
ing BRJwH's lRos Bu1EEs, .il my
troubles arc atau end. Can catary
time without any uIsagrtcabls re-
suits. ] am practically ano,lur
person. Ms, " J. FLlES,
90 Maverick ST, I. Boston.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
THE ROCK OF GIBRALTIR.

Great Britain's possession of the rock
of Gibraltar is relic of a bygone age.
1t has for many generations been anon
ument of the least agreeable side of Eu-
ropean politics. Gibraltar is by position
a Spanish fortress, and its name ia
synonym for impregnability. Why,
then, should it be occupied by foreign
power? On no theory of fair play can
the fact be accounted for, but not till
recently has British love of justice
seen anything improper in it. Agita-
ton for the recovery of the fortress is
now in progress in Spain, and the En-
glish Radicals to considerable extent
sympathize with it. Sentimentalism,
however, is not alone at the bottom of
The talk of surrender. Modern modes
of warfare are such that Gibraltar is not
indispensable TO British glory. It's
harbor is poor and is commanded by the
guns Of other forts. No force could
take Gibraltar, il is admitted, but thai
does not increase It's impuftance p0~Hn'
gland, for at this day rendezvous fol
the Mediterranean feet Of ironclads i
of moro importance than land fort no,
connected with good anchorage ground
for vessels OF the class which compose
the British navy. There is harbor OF
the African coast suitable to receive the
largest feet Of the largest men-of-war
we'll guarded by Notifications, and &C
cessible to supplies from abroad. Tn,
changes in fifty years in the art of wa
would make this port equivalent TO
Gibraltar. It is not strange that tn,
moving spirit Of Spanish nationsiit,
mourns for the recovery Of the histori
| fortress.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
THE THREE LITTLE OHAIHa.

They sat alone " the bright wood ass,
Tn. gray y-hsired dame and the seed sars.
Dreaming Of dsys gone by:
The tear r-trops fell on each wriniled cheek.
They both had thoughts they could MOI speak,
For their sad ana fearful eyes deserted
Three little chairs placed sido BY side
Against the sitting g-room wall;
old-fAshioned enough a. there thsy stood.
Their seats OF Gag and their frames Of wood,
And the sife shook his silysry head,
And with trembling voice he gently said:
"Mothsr, thess empty chairsi
They bring Us snch sad thoughts tonight
Wen put them forever cut Of ssght
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18

The host was especially distinguished
by the number and variety of lis perma-
nent and inseparable decorations, II
would not be hard to find similar din
ner party among students in Germany,
where attendance at dueling meetings is
made more compulsory by the students
than ATTENDANCE at tn. lectures is by the
professors. Prince Bismarck himself,
when at college, earred the solriquet oi
the fighting student from ais constancy
and success in dueling.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
4 MUkE,s EARs.
United States Consul Aynie, Of Yuca-

United States Consul Aynie, Of Yuca-
tan, relates the following:
Travelling in yucatan ss.ettanded With
some difficulties, owing to the heat Of
the day and the bad state of the roads.
To avoid the heat all long journeys are
performed at night; 30 mitigate the
roughness of the road peculiar style OF
vehicle is employed called a volan. This
is conveyance altogether peculiar to
Yucatan, not found anywhere else. 1t
might be called modified volante--in
common use in Cuba-only, instead OF
sitting up In it, you lie down. 1t has
two large wheels, and the body Of the
concern is placed directly over the axle,
suspended upon high, very elastic
springs. The shafts are very long, and
framework projects behind, upon
which trunks may be secured, and from
which the body of the vehicle is sus-
pended at that end. 1t has covered
canvas top, with curtains and bottom
of interlaced rope. Upon this springy
support is placed mattress. 1t is al
ways drawn by three muies-one in the
shafts and one on either side--harnessed
in by such combination Of leather and
rope that no stranger could by any pos
sibility disentangle them. These mules
are generally very small, but make up
for this by generous length of ears,
which are carried along their backs.
Speaking of ears, friend of mine
travelling here told me that he once had
mule with very fine ears, SO long that
they met behind his back. They were
continually in his way, as the mule
couldn't help tapping them, and ire
quently knocked my friend--who is O
very staid and truthful man--off his sad
die. Though very humane man, as
we'll as veracious, he couldn't stand this
sort Of thing every day, so what did he
do? Well, he thought over ii a while.
snd tsrn.LiAyAre a Hfsr,-@-l v inoculst-
ed one OF tns muies ears With = wss4,
and then by cutting slit in the other
he had natural button and button hole,
by means OF which he buttoned the ears
together under his mules tail. This
was pleasant for whiie-for my friend
but he soon saw his mistake. That
wart kept growing, and he had to extend
the button-hole to keep pace with j. IN
til those ears were hardly anything else
but wart and button hole.
Another uncomfortable thing about i
was that, when the mule wanted 10 wag
gle his ears--for mule is so constituted
that he must wag certain number o
times day or die--he had to dismount
tie the animal to tree and pry the ear
apart with button hook. asked hin
how much the ears measured, and b
said he didn't know, but the mule ha,
caused him to measure his length
several times.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18

Is by turning down leaf OF the book
she carries for every fresh passenger that
gets in. The old lady is the greatest
success Of all. She takes her notes by
pretending to figure hergrocer's account
in q greasy blank-book. But they are all
three first-class 'spotters,i and do their
business WELL"
"And pray, my frieh," asked the
doctor, show did you arrive at CON-
prehension Of the deep Significance Of
that termP
My own eager eyes and senses In
formed me-" replied tsgSu are
pretty we'll cured. B.eard the doaio,
mutter hasf aloud - .sposter.'
usually a NSfnaie. is All empioye Ia the
secret service Of a passenger railway
company. Her daty is to spot dis.
honest conductors, and report them to
the directors Of this company. These
women, whom ! have seen, are all spot
ters, regular artists in the work."
"And how about the family resem-
blance? 2"
"The same face" / replied, "bears
an extraordinary family resemblance in
itself, when seen in a number of clever
DISCUSSES. I have said these women are
artists and do their work well. But
there is only one woman in the case
My spirituelle blonde is nothing but a
spnituelle 'spotter, and my violet eyed
beauty, my spinster aunt and my dow
ager mother are one and the same per
son. / brushed near her with the eye
Of hawk. saw the paint and patches
and powders. 1t is the best make up,
on or off the stage, / ever witnessed.
But think one or two of the conduc-
tors, from the way they looked at her,
are little suspicious; and suspect my
lady will soon be obliged to spot on
another line"
From that hour my convalescence was
rapid, and / ride less than formerly in
city passenger railway cars.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
A DuELrsr,s DFNNxR.

Dinners are not often given ON such
peculiar occasion as one given short
time ago in Pesth. A poted "fire-eater
celebrated in this way his twcnty-fifth
duel. No one was invited who had not
fought at least twelve duels. The
only guest from Great Britain and Ire
land was the 0,Gornian Mahcn. II was
SCARED assenibiage. The guests bore
tokens Of their favorits pastime in slit
ears and noses, SCARED checks, and hands
short OF the common number Of fingers,
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
THE GRASD CANTON OF THE COL
ORADO.

TIE GRAND CANTON OF THE COL
ORADO.
The Grand Canyon is about 900 miles
long, from five to twelve miles wide,
and from 1000 to {, 900 feet deep. Those
who@aaye scea it all unite in declaring
II the most sublime and impressive oi
all nsaaral featufesof the ,@ofids II
consists of an outer and inner chasm.
The outer chasm is about five or six
miles wide with a row of palisades 1900
feet high on either side, and broad and
comparatively smooth plain between.
Within this plain is cut the inner gorge
descending more than 5000 feet lower,
and with width of about 8, 800 feet.
The upper palisades are Of very noble
form and uniform profles with highly
architectural aspect. The region through
which the chasms extend consists g: Q
carboniferous strata, but about forty
miles north of the river appear strata Of
leter age forming a series of terraces,
each terrace being determined by line
of cliffs 500 to 1900 feet high, and of
very wonderful sculpture and brilliant
color. The strata in this stairway of
terraces are the remnants of beds which
once stretched unbroken over the dis
trict now drained by the Grand Can
yon. The total thickness Of the beds
removed was more than 10, 900 feet, and
the denuded area more than IL, 900
square miles. The denudation began
in the Eocene time, and has been con-
tinuous until the present time. A great
amount Of uplifting has also occurred
during the same period, varying accord
ing to locality from 10000 to $4,000
feet, and the present altitude of the
region is the difference between the
amount of uplift and the thickness Of
strata removed, that is 1000 to 5000
feet. The meeting of the Grand Can
yon is thus merely the closing episode
Of a long period Of erosion. The cutting
of the present ehasm is comparatively
recent geological event, and probably
had its beginning in the Pliocene time.
The process Of axeava.ing the canyon
consists Il tL4laniiairo; lsssos us
natural causes. The first is tRe scour-
ing action Of the stream upon the rocks
in its bed. The stream is fierce tor
rent carrying large quantities of sharp
sand, which acts like n sand blast. A
river will always cut down its bed when
the quantity Of sediment it carries is
less than 1t is capable of carrying. When
this quantity is greater part of it is
thrown down upon the bottom, protect
ing it from securing. 1t this respect
the Colorado is an exceptional river.
The other process is weathering. The
stream cuts a chasm no wider than its
water surface, but the cut is thus widened
by the secular decay of the chasm,
which, though slow to the perceptions,
becomes greater after the lapse of many
thousand years. Capt Dattoa, before
the american Association.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18

WHEN Fenelon was almoner to Loun
XIV, his Majesty was astonisbed to
End one Sunday, instead Of a numerous
congregation, only him and the priest.
"What is the reason Of thisf" asked the
King. "I caused it to be given out,
sire, returned Fenelop, "that your ma
iesty did not attend chapel to-day, that
you might know who came to worship
God, and who to aatter the King"
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18

WINE is now made from oranges in
Southern California. 1t is said to DO
amber colored, and TO taste like dry
hook, with an orange aroma 1t, how.
ever, requires the addition of spirits TO
make II at all like wine, and is better for
vinegar than for beverage.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
THE SHOTGUN PoLICY AS APPLIED
TO Dogs.

Complaints are numerous Of depreda-
tions committed by dogs among sheep
focks in various portions of the West
and Southwest. Within the past three
weeks several very valuable focks have
been frightfully decimated, and in one
particular case practically annihilated
by rowing packs Of NANCY ours, whose
presence in any farming community is q
positive curse. Flock.masters have, in
several localities, been compelled to
take the law in their own haAds, and,
by means of the shotgun policy, exter-
inmate the pests. This dog nuisance is
one which should receive attention at tho
hands Of Legislators, who should provide
means for the protection Of sheep-raisers
against the attacks of dogs owned by
neighbors, who, in rrany cases, seem to
forget the damage which their worthless
eogz Can % Sore men, Who viii clam
that they csnnol aiiofd 70 Keep ty6ckl
any description. win insist upon feedina
| = number Of s'no-account' whelps, who
are constant menace and souYce ol
anxiety TO men who have money invest
ed in sheep, and who psss mary sleep
less nights on account OF the near pres
ence of these ours. Stringent law,
should be enacted in all sheep-raisinf
districts in the interest Of fock-masters
and their rigid enforcement ought to b.
considered in the light Of duty ON IA.
part of the authorities. Illinois now he
special Legislative enactments for Ia,
protection Of cattle, and the dog lawl,
especially in regard to loss 20 flocks
should be enforced. - Chicago Tribune
/
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18
BROTHER GARDINER ON HONESTY

hhoIhEh dAhDNEh oN hOSESiI'
If / should find a perfeckly honest
man--honest in his expressions, honest
in his dealings, sincere in his statements
Il shouldn't like him. He would be
lonesome object in dis aige. He would
seek in vain fur companionship. While
/ believe dat honesty am de bes' policy,
/ doan' look TO see it practiced beyand a
certain limit. When trade mules wild
a yoan kinder hke 10 doubt his word.
want to feel da. l.. smtkeepin' ktili
bout lie ring-bones an spavins, an dat
de beast he says am iist turnin' fo'teen
vars will nebber see his 2lst birthday no
moar. 1t am monotonous to deal wild a
man who am perfeckly honest. If lend
man money I want him to be honest
'nuff to return it, but if he kin trade me
a watch worth SO for a gun worth seben
/ shall think none de less of him. Ii
men were so sincere dat we felt obleeged
to believe whateber dey asserted we
should hev no use fur theories an argy-
ments. When glib my note / expect to
pay it. When AK man how he would
like to trade his wheelbarrow fur my
dog I'm not gwine to inform him dat
Caesar am all bark an no bite, an he am
not gwine to tell me dat he borrowed
dat wheelbarrow in de night an forgot
to return it. If grocer leaves me in
charge of his sto' lie gwine to sot fur
half an hour beside box of herrings an
keep my hands in my pockets all de
time. Yet, if dat same man sells me a
pound of tea he expects me to try an
pass oif on him q half-dollar wild hole
in it.
Continer, my frens, to believe dat hon
esty am de bes' policy, but doan expect
too much of so-called honest men. You
kin trust men wild your wallet who would
borrow pitch-fork an nebber return
it. You kin lend your horse to a man
who would cheat You blind in tradin'
obercoats. You kin send home par o
dead ducks at noon-day Ly man who
would steal your live chickens at mid
night. When / lend my naybur
Mocha coffee 1 like to wonder If he
won't pay it back in Rio. When de ole
woman buys kaliker on a guarantee she
rather hopes it will fade in de washin'.
solemnly believe dat de world am
honest nuff jist as il am. When you gin
your word stick to it il it busts de bank.
When you do job of work do it well.
When you make a debt pay it. Any
man who am mo- honest dan dat will
want you to cut penny in two to make
out his shilling; he viii ring you up al
midnight to return your mouse trap ht
will take one shingle from your buncl
an offer you de one-hundredth part o
what de bunch cost; he will borrow
your boot-iack an insist dat you borrow
his washboard to offset il. Detroit Ere,
| D,.rsc
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18

work even The slow plow team should
have but little hay at the morning and
noon feeds, but give them generous
supply at the evening meal. BY doing
this your horses will keep in better
spirits aud condition. and free from any
tendency to "pot belly" which horse
men 80 much dislike to see.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-01-18

"BY Jovel" exclaimed Charley. "did
you twig that barmaide She's stun
ner, nd no mistakey' "No." rap.isd
George, pointing his thumb over his left
shoulder at q poor ragged inobriate |:
ono. didn't notice the barmaiA AIy
attention was direstod 10 what the bar
snsde. !"
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-29
The Texas Cotton 4 Grain Exchange.

Affords the people of San Antonio all the
facilities for Specializing in cotton, grain and
provisions that the members of the cotton and
grain exchanges in New York enjoy. Ten
dollars will buy one thousand bushels of wheat
and an advance Of per cent. per buShel will
yield the purchaser profit of 100 per cent. on
his investment. Circulars giving full informa-
ton can be had by sending your address, or
by calling at rooms No. 245 Commerce street.
san Antonio, Texas Asst
Canned goods in great variety and at bot
tom prices at Sauer 4 Smiths. 4-24 0t
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-29
City Items.
A Neat Piece of Reporting.

We have been shown the report of the tes-
timony in the Peters VS.. Shook case, as pre-
pared by Mr.. II. Ryder-Taylor short hand
reporter, and is one of the neatest jobs Of the
kind we have ever seen, and is very credtab!e
to Mr. Kyder-Taylor. The report has been
filed in the court and is subject to inspection.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-29
Recorders Court.

Before the Hon. NJ. q. Anderson, recorder.
- CohIson, violating cattle ordinance; fined
$1,000.
John Irish, drunk; fined S..
I. Snag, drunk; fined SIS.
+. Lyons, drunk; fined S..
]. Thompson, drunk; fined S..
/. Kelley, vagrant; fined $40.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-29
The Complimentary Hop.

Our local yesterday neglected to make no.
tice of the complimentary hop given to Mr..
Charles Newman and bride on Thur. day
night. The affair passed off very pleasantly
and was heartily enjoyed by all present. The
committee of management deserve credit for
the excellent manner they performed their re-
spective duties.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-29
Houston Manufacturing Company.

terms, of any size, from one hundred to a
100, 900 gallons. We set up every tank, and
mark each piece and every hoop. Scale
drawings showing foundation and support,
will be Sent to all purchasers free of charge.
Prices and estimates furnished on application
to F. F. Collins, corner Semmes and Cont
streets, Houston, Texas. z-27-tf