Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-03-18
WIT AND WISDOM.
FRITZ has named his dog Non
quitur, because it does not follow.

Much of the talk about the q
quantity of whisky Ii Kentucky is m
matter of moonshine. Louisville 10
nal.
The good that men do may be i
tered with theiy bones, but the c0fff
of some men are not crowded.--Sale
Sunbeam.
The Boston Star says that the chic
trouble with the age in which we liv,
is that it believes too much in varnisl
and veneer, and too little IN solid wood
THE chap who sent us a poem be
ginning "When twilight dews are fall
ing fast upon the rosy lea," has sine
married Rosa Lee, and now the IVES
dues are falling fast upon him.
THE California AHa regards the ha
less and useful umbrella as ga m,
and physical blight upon humanit.
and declares that sit creates an irres.
tible tendency to kleptomania."
Cory of a notice on the beach
Brighton: SIN case of ladies in dang
of drowning, they should be seized !
the clothing and not by the hair, whic
generally comes off.-La -,Inir9ro.
Your real artistic LONDON Made.
have abandoned shoes altogether al
adopted the Greek sandal, which give
the foot all the room it wants. TIL
would be impossible in Chicago.-M
HaUen Register.
THERE are thirty different fire escapes
| to select from, but as none of the in
ventors ever make trial from fifth
story window with sheet of flame be
hind them, the ordinary man is suspi
cious about investing. Detroit Ere,
Press.
SOME one SAYS: 'Bread and butte
the dress of this world love and XII
ness it's trimming" Well bet S400
man who wrote that isn't married. A
married man knows that the trimmin
always cost four times as much as the
dress.
ACCORDING to the Danish paper Uop
dc HJenanae, Mr.. Bjornstjorns BiornsoI
the novelist, has fine bjhouse in th
beautiful Gausdal, and keeps it wjids
openj in summer for bviisjitors t.
whom HE gives bno endj of cioffee and
ciakes.
The crying want of this courN<E seems
to be a gun or pistol that will exercise
reason in the matter of going off. 1t is
plain that the average bearer of these
weapons does not possess the reason
necessary to regulate them.-BOston
Transcript. -
"JUsT taste that tea" said old Hyson
to his better half. at the supper table
the other evening. "Well," there
doesn't seem to be anything the matter
with it. can't taste anything" mild
~ remarked Mrs. Hyson. Neither
can /, and that's what I'm growing a"
Epitaph for a dry-goods clerk
Here lies the remnant of his former self,
The world to him ran counter. Little pet
Did he acquire. His busy life, unmarried
BY lucre, left to him no yard
OF ground, save this yard double,
And here he's hidden all his trouble.
REMEMBER" says the celebrs'
Wesley, clearing my father say
mother, How could you have
patience to tell that blockhead the
thing twenty times over?' Why's
she, IF 1 had told him but ninet
times, I should have lost all
labor"
Why don't go to work? Would
have me imperil my life, sir? No,
you can't have seen the statis'
(Reads:) cit is estimated that 100
persons are annually killed in Engl
from causes directly resulting from
dustrial occupations Louisville O.
icT-JOuYnal.
PRECEDENCE and age There is
story of Solomon not contained in th
"Book of Kings" Two of his corr
damsels had row as to precede
Solomon looked kindly and said,
the oldest go first" and the dar
embraced and went in together witt
twined arms.
PROF. WENDLING, in lecture in
York, said that professional in
always had the same antipathy
minister as professional burglar
to policeman. We don't belle
We don't believe the ministers con
the infdels to whack up THEN pre-
with 'em.-BOStOn Post.
A ScoTcH preacher, who found
congregation going to sleep one Sumo
before he had fairly begun, sudde;-
stopped and exclaimed: Brethren, it
ma fair. Wait till l get alang and thei
if I'm ma worth listening TO, gang t
sleep; but dinna gang before /
commenced. Gle mon chance"
BELLE BoYD, the Confederate s.
who died recently at Plymouth, E
land, is living at Corsicana, Texas,
easy circumstances. She is also livi
in garnet in Baltimore, where
makes scanty living by needle-wo
so the papers say. Belle is beating
Confederate record of being in
places at once.-IcraS ,SiftingS.
TOGETHER they were looking over
paper. "Oh, my, how funny"
said. "What is it ?" he asked. "W
here's an advertisement that says:
reasonable offer refused" "What'i
odd about that? ?" Nothing, nothin
she replied. trying to blush; so
those are exactly my sentiments"
that young man hadn't taken the HI
and proposed right then and there, 81
would have hated him.
BOTH New York and Boston ha
abandoned the idea of holding World
Eo;~ onl WON, HL,oao, - Lsuaxxrcsunf