The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1882-09-28
THE STARK COUNTY DENIoCRAT SEPTEMBER % 1882
THE DONATION PARTY OF DEAD
MULE FLAT.

MULE FLAT.
From bleak New England's mountains
Up TO the cOrTalled strand
Where fair Montana's fountains
Roll alleged silver sand.
missionary. mild in
His manners and his speech,
Journeyed TO seek the Wild in
A church wherein 10 preach.
In the "city" where he duly
His wandering tent did pitch,
1t could not be said truly
Fhe good man "struck It rich.r
For the people CwhO would gather
To hear his words with mirth)
Were not earth's salt. but rather
The salters OF the earth.
OF calls though oft spoke deacon,
Or brOther-I mean "pard"-
He found that they were speaking
(See Hamlet) by the card.
And the language that they used with
Regard to every game
The good mans face suffused with
A (bobtaned) flush OF shame.
And to his deep detection.
When all around his hat
He sent for collection,
But little wealth he gat
II grOwled the parsOn plucky
They would satlric smile,
And hint he was blamed lucky
In getting back the tile
One day unto the preacher
Two ruffians did repair;
Each was the vllest creature
Except the Other-there.
One was "A Terror"
The other Murderer Ned;r
And they confessed the error
OF the lives that they had led.
The missionary ware was
That iesting they must be;
He said In his church there was
Just then no vacancy.
But when toward the trigger
He saw their fingers glide
He remembered with great vigOr
There was room for two inside"
"Seein' we now air brothers,"
The "a Terror cries,
I'VE ought to get the others
To come and be likewise.
SO cock your gun, my hearty,
And, parsOn. fetch your hat:
Hey for donation party
For the Church of Dead.mule Flatl"
Forth went the luckless parsOn,
Between the ruffans two,
Who homicide and arson
Vowed for "the cause' they'd do.
They had their weapons handy.
And used toward all they met
The mOdus Operandi
or frontier etiquette.
First, Brother Terror 1" - 'RSRRs
Would range them In a row,
And stand prepared to slay one
Whose hands should downward CO.
While Deacon Murderer Ed" he
Went through them systemat-
Ically, and the ready
Placed in the parsons hat
The party cleaned the city
Out In an hour or so
doc" said the Terror" witty,
"'Tls time for us 10 go.
Unto the distant heather
We mean forthwith 10 slide,
And preach the Gospel; we. then,
The plunder must divide.
"The sun is hast'ning bedward,
No time to lose have We
Here's half for Deacon Edward,
And here Is halt for me;
And, my white chOkered hearty
You shall have back your hat
'Rah for the donation party
For the Church of Dead.mule Flat"
But, boys" the parsOn pleaded,
"'Tls hardly right for me
To let you. unlmpeded,
Take the chuTch's property,
All preachers to their trust are
Faithful presumed to be:
just shoot my hat and duster,
That folk the holes may see.
"And think made endeavOr
The church funds to retain"
In duster and I'm beaver
They fired their pistols twain
And the parsOn snlckered queerly
As he two slx-shOOter5 drew:
Brethren, beloved dearly,
I've got the drop on yOu"
He marches to the city,
And there his prize presents
To a Vigilance Committee
Ofpromlnent residents.
The pleas the missionary
For his captlves makes they tend of,
And they give the cemetery
OF his church double send-of.
They give him the donation"
And heap anew his hat.
And elect BY reclamation
Him Pope Of Dead.mule Flat;
A church tax straight they levy.
And now, when the hat goes round,
Its contents are right heavy,
And have a chinking sound.
And his mother would not mow'm.
That young mining engineer,
Who once had been to Rome,
And with a superior sneer,
Where the Flatters pOst do cluster,
The statement did dispute
That the Pope wore linen duster.
And was upon the shoot
-[Harper's Magazine
Never Give Up.
you are suffering with low and de-
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lity, disOrdered blood, weak cOnsti-
IN, headache, or any disease of bill
nature, by all means procure bot
f Electric Bitters. You will be sur
ed to see the rapid improvement that
follow; you will be inspired with
life; strength and activity will re-
j; pain and misery will cease, and
- \ ID H. l L.