The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-01-05
Odd Items.

WE CONFIDENTLY ASSERT AND CAN sATfs
FACroRILY PROVE
| There Is no instance on record of a case
OF dyspepsia or torpid liver that cannot
be relieved and positively cured by the
sys ematic use of Simmons Liver Regu-
lator. This is no vain boast, but an es-
| tablished fact; and suffered from these
diseases deny themselves the blessings of
health and comfort by refusing to give
the Regulator a trial. 1t is no'co npound
of adventures, but meritorous medicine
which has won its high reputation in
countries where torpid livers prevail and
and where Nature supplies the roots and
herbs to cure the disease common TO its
climate.
Ambitious man; Is there any fixed
rule for writing poetry! There is! Don't!
Mr. Cobb recently married Miss Webb;
he knew they were intended for each
other as soon as he spider
Ayers Cherry Pectoral is a really re-
markabe and time e-honored medicine. IL
is the best remedy known for all dis
eases of the throat and lungs
PREMIUM WINE.
We can confidently recommend Speer's
Port Grape Wine, which was recon-
mended the highest premium at the
Worlds Fair, as n superior article of
wine for the sick and deblitated, and all
those who require a vinous stimulation
and invigoration The vineyards and
cellars are at Passaic, New Jersey, near
-, Il |,
G. A. Klein, druggist, Bloomsbury, Pa
In accordance with the facts: A party
of San Juan ranchcrs made bonfire of
an Apache Indian, and the coroner's
jury returned a verdict of overcome by
the heat"
When a Yankee in Rome was shown
the petrifed form of one Of the early
Christian martyrs, he remarked that it
was evidently Saint Gothard.
SITTING UP NIGHTS.
Mrs +. $ Perkins, Creek Center, n.
Y. writes she had been troubled with
asthma for four years. Hadito sit up
nj yht after night with it, and was ulti-
mately cured by two bottles of Thomas
Eclectric Oil.
Wien a man told his wife that he had
just traded for a new spring wagon, she
replied, "You Ounce youl why did you
buy spring wagon in the fall of the
year,"
An auctloneer, by birth native of the
Green Isle, of course, caused to be print
ed on his handbills at a recent sale, "Ev-
| arx nj La 10 ii
der, unless some gentleman bids more"
KIDNEY COMPLAINT CURED.
Il. Turner, Rochester, n. Y. writes:
Il have been for over year subject to
serious disorder of the kidneys, and often
unable to attend to business. | pro-
cured your Burdock Blood Bitters and
was relieved before half bottle was
used. | intend to continue as / feel
confident that they will cure me" Price
SlOO, trial size 10 cents.
Farmer Janesbury says his hens al
ways lay during the winter All he has
to do is to casually remark that eggs
have dropped down to ten cents a doz-
en-. Then they all go to work with
will
Texas complains of too many newspa
pcrs. 1t is getting so a gentleman cant
take a hand in a lynching, or c,,.4
join in free fight without having h
name in print,
Joseph Durrinlurger, Broadway, Buff
falo,was induced by his brother to try
Thomas Eclectric Oil for a sprained
ankle; and with half dozen applica-
tions he was enabled to walk round
! again all fight
A greenback with a hole in it will be
received where silver dollar having
hole in would be refused. This is an
Iowa argument in favor of greenbacks.
Cincinnati Irish Citizen.
Mr. Thomas Lewis, G2 Butler street,
: informs us that for seven years he was
; afflicted with that dreadful malady,
J Scatica, and being induced to try St.
Jacobs Oil, found almost immediate
relief therefrom, and is now perfectly
1 cured
y The Star route men have had seven
! lawyers to pay for the last six months,
+ and many people are beginning to think
4 they are punished enough,
e WRONG IDEA.
y Many persons having gotten the wrong
{ idea that hops are Strengthening, have
{ taken to drinking beer and ale very
J freely. The consequence is they fee
le better for short time, but when the
II reaction comes they are much weaker
* than before, Reader, if you value life
10 oil al. li,h lao,
," and put your trust in that temperance
y preparation of iron and vegetable tonic,
u called Browns Iron Bitters 1t gives rea
:" health and strength to every part of tn,
"' body, rt treshes the mind, and restores tn
nervous system to its proper standard
30, Over 100000 bottles have been sol
- this year,
~ A devil fish with arms thirty,two fee
to feet long has been caught on the bank
st of Newfoundland. What cashier
il would have made
nd George -four years old, at the te
m, table,: "Mamma, may | have some sa
ed dines?' mamma: "Wait till I'm read,
n George" George (surprised) "Wh,
OF ma, it's me as wants EN-"
az az An exchange thinks the cause of ter
'or perance will stand poor show if Ge
-, man chemist has discovered, as he say
49, how to make brandy from sawdu.
I'M There is not much chance for tempe
" ance preacher to get in his work when
man can take his rip saw and 60 out al
,c5 get drunk on a fence rail
ng A tutor of college, lectuine to
lad young man on the irregularity of !