davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
CareIessness with Firearms.

am reminded every once in q while
upon reading some tragedy caused by
reckless ''fooling" with guns and pistols.
how near once came to taking the life
of a fellow-being, and it has been a con-
slant warning to me never to point gun
at anybody unless in self-defense. At
the time referred to, which was aoout
1858, was learning the printers art at
161 Lake street, and during a "slack"
time in the fall the boys in the Office con-
Guided to have trip to the Calumet
after ducks. Most of them, not owning
guns, had to borrow or hire them. OF.
Fordham, our pressman land still a we'll
known pressman of the city, now veri-
table Falstaff in his proportions), hired a
gun OF. Eaton, I think. We secured a
team-hve or six IN the party-drove
down before daybreak, had but indiffer-
ent luck, but of course had good time,
with the usual accompaniment of small
mishaps, such as capsizes, breakage of
harness, ETC., and returned by moon
light in the evening of the same day.
Those of the boys who had borrowed or
rented guns left them at the office until
the next day. 1t should have been
stated before, however, that previous to
getting into the wagon to return home
we all discharged our guns-or supposed
we did.
Next day at noon, while was washing
up, Fordham S gun, which was standing
near the Washing trough, caught my eye
and took it up to examine it. Fordham
was working the old Ruggles press at
the other end of the Office, distant, per-
haps, fifty feet. cooked the gun, both
barrels, several times, as everybody does
who gets hold of gun to examine it,and
seeing that there were exploded caps on
both nipples, had no doubt but that the
gun was empty. Then asking Fordham
if the gun was loaded, and receiving q
negative reply, boy-like, said
"Give me leave, Ol?"
EYES," said he, without taking his eyes
from his work, ''fire away"
1 had some caps in my pocket, and
thinking to startle him, placed one
on the right hand nipple, took good aim
at his head, and was about to pull the
trigger, when sudden impulse caused me
to turn and aim at handful hanging
about ten feet from him.
A loud report, a tattered hand-bill,
scared pressman, and worse scared in
dividual holding gun in his nerveless
hands, was the result.
Is it any wonder that then and there
resolved never to fool with firearms I'M
der any circumstances Corr. Chicago
Field
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
FOUND AT LAST.
A Positive md Never Failing Cure for Rheu
matlsni, Neuralgia and Gout.

Hundreds of testimonials given to DR.. Henley.
solicited, in his possession from his towns
men. living right here among u.s. testifying to the
wonderful curative powers of his Rheumatic NeI-
tralizer DR.. Henley refers only to the testimonials
given by we'll known parties in midst, and never
relies on far of and unknown individuals as sup
porting what he claims to be true of his Rheumatic
Neutrazer that is, it will cure any of Rheuma-
tsm in existence. The doctor long since discovered
the folly of applying external remedies for disease
that has its seat in the deepest channels of the
blood and therefore set to work to discover a
edy for rheumatism, and mankind may rejoice in
his Rheumatic Neutralizer.
DEFINITION ON. RHEUMATISM.
If you have thorn or splinter in your finger and
you put on Chloroform, or some other drug, you
stop the sensiEility of pain for a time only. The
thorn is still there, and soon as the effect of the
drug dies away the pain returns In order to get rid
of the pain You must have that thorn plucked out of
the flesh That is precisely the same way with
rheumatism; You might rub on the skin some drug
to stop the pain for little time but the pain is
to return the effect of the drug dies
away. Now 1t has been proven beyond the slightest
doubt that Rheumatism is in the deepest Channels
of the Blood and that there is no other to reach
it only through the Blood. This has been demon
strated right here in Portland by dozens of people
that have been cured by DR.. Henley's Rheumatic
Neutrazer. That it is the only Medicine that has
Ever Reached the and made Lasting and Per-
manent Cures. In fact, the only true principal tor
Eradicating rheumatism from the system is through
the Blood. 1t is pack of nonsense to attempt any
other method, that is, If you would wish Perma-
nent and Lasting Cure
The Doctor has come to the conclusion, after
Twenty-Five years travel and close investigation that
the Liver has a great deal to do with Rheumatism.
A man or woman with good sound Liver seldom or
ever has any pains aches. The Doctor has got up
Concentrated Liver Pill, one pill for dose. One
of these Pills has effect in rousing the torpid
Liver than gross of other Pills. By all means use
the Concentrated Liver Pills in connection with the
Neutralizer.
OFFICE: 203 Third street, near Taylor, Portland
Oregon.
HODGE, DAVIS a. CO., Wholesale Agents.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
Butter-GOOd and Bad.

The quantity of bad butter in this
country is surprising, not in the West
and South only, where farmers and
planters do not understand and do not
care to learn the art of making it, but in
the Middle States, and even in New
England, where it is better made than
anywhere else. The chief trouble is
ignorance as to the method of working
butter. Comparatively few work out
the butter-milk, and consequently, the
butter, however sweet at first, will not
keep A great many people, fortunately
for their palates, have no idea what
good butter is, being incapable of tell
ing good from bad. But a great many
others know so we'll that they
cannot eat but the best, and the best is
very hard to get, and very expensive
also. Even in great cities like New
York, Boston, Chicago and Cincinnati,
good butter cannot be had except as
what is called fancy price. Here, for
example, many families are obliged to
pay fifty cents a pound during spring
and summer, and one dollar a pound
during autumn and winter for prime
butter. Philadelphia butter, as it is
named, commands from seventy-five
cents to one dollar the year round. The
first class hotels and restaurants always
have excellent butter; they are obliged
to have it. But the moment you leave
them the butter is precarious. even
suspicious. Indeed, you very rarely get
it. Not nearly enough good butter is
made to supply the demand of any
ordinary rates. You must pay double
price to secure it. 1t is nearly us easy
to make good as it is to make poor but
ter; but farmers have not yet found it
out. If competent persons would go
through the country instructing others
how to make butter, it would be an
important and benevolent work.
What the quality of butter
was in ancient times, is I'M
known. Many people think that it is a
modern article of food, but it seems to
have been used largely by the ancient
Hebrews. The earliest distinct mention
of it is by Herodotns, and frequent refer
ence is made to it by writer's of the same
age. The old Greeks and Romans en-
ployed it as an ointment in their baths,
the former gaining their knowledge of it
from the Scythians, Thracians and Phry-
gians, while the Romans got butter from
Germany. In southern Europe it is now
very sparingly used, and in Italy, Spain,
Portugal and southern Foance it is sold
by apothecaries medically, for external
application. This is the greatest butter
making state in the union, about one
fourth of all the butter in the country
being produced in New York-Chautau-
qua, Delaware, Jefferson, st. Lawrence,
Orange and Otsego exceeding all other
counties. Something like lao, 100000
pounds are said to be made in the entire
country, and its value is estimated at some
SIC, 100000. II butter were properly
made, the value of the product would be
nearly doubled. We sorely need mis-
sionaries in the cause Of good butter
n. Y. Times.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
Bad Handwriting.

There are here and there human beings
who are by nature incapable OF writing a
good hand, Just as there are others who
are incapable of drawing straight line
or true circle, or even recognize one.
But the ugly manuscript of the clumsy
listed struggler after form is very clear.
Haste, uneaslness, excessive work, nerV-
Gus prostration-these are the chief
causes Of obscure handwriting with the
most of us. But when a mans manu-
script has once made for itself fixed
character OF its own, neither printers nor
expert copyists would like to come
round to tame simplicity and correct
ness. 1t would be, in another way, the
case of the lover with squint, who
ruined his suit by going to the occulist
and having his eyes put straight; the
lady could no longer meet his eyes in
the old affectionate way, and she dismiss
ed him. Still, there are faults of hand
writing which are inexcusable in them
selves, and which neither compositor nor
copyist can possibly like to see. Ore of
the worst of these is lax practice in put
ting the strokes to such letters as m and
n. There is no harm in cutting down
certain syllables such as ment and ing,
to mere lines or twirls; but where an at
tempt is made to express the characters,
the number of strokes ought to be uni
form. Another practical observation is
that Hurried handwriting gains no time
for the writer. A downright lazy scrawl
Is another matter, and SO is that kind OF
bad writing in which we can see in the
badness, egotistic self assertion or disre-
fya rd of the eves and wits of others. 1t
may be laid down that there is much
egotism lassociated, it may be, with
much kindness) an the man who writes a
bad hand, which never strives to pick
itself up. But, of course, the rule must
be applied, with greater or less. strin-
gency, according to the amount OF work
that presses on the producer of the man
uscript, his health, his pre-occupation
and the activity of his or her self
consciousness London Spectator.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
OREGON TO MAssACHUsErrs.

Some time ago Messrs. Hodge, Davis Co., of this
city, read in a Massachusetts, paper that Hon.
Charles r. Ladd auditor of that state, afflicted
with an incurable kidney disease, and had been
obliged to give up work and return to his home
They Immediately sent him box of their celebrated
Oregon Kidney Tea, and from time to time sent him
other boxes few days ago they received from
him the following letter.
COMMONWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS,
Auditors Dept, Boston, Nov. IL, 1881.
Messrs Hodge, Davis 4 Co.: Dear Sirs-I have no
hesitation in saying that have been much benefited
by the of the Oregon Kidney Tea a remedy for
akidney difficulty which has troubled me for six or
eight years. 1 can heartily recommend it to those
who are similarly afflicted a safe and agreeable
remedy. shall test its virtues further for have
great faith IN it specific for many diseases of
the kidneys. Respectfully yours.
CHAS. r. LADD,
The original of this letter can be by calling
on Messrs. Hodge. Davis x Co.. Portland, Oregon,
and the Oregon Kidney Tea can be bought of any
druggist or dealer, in Oregon or Washington. Price
81 per box
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
Household Sewing Machine.

Dealer in alt KINDS u. Seviog Machine Attach
mems Ne dies '1is. Elc-
np-Sewing Mscrin,s repaired on short nouce.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

A member of London club was stand
ing ON the clubhouse steps, when gen.
tleman came up 70 him and asked him II
there was gentleman with one eye
named Walker in the club. II don't
know !" vns the answer; what va The
name Of ths other sys9"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
PERSONAL.

Mr.. A. NJ. Cannon, president of the bank of Spo-
kane Falls and treasurer of Spokane county is here
to purchase milling machinery. He seems to be
well pleased with the present Improvement of the
Spokane country and regards ITS future established,
as its natural resources and advantages such
that invite immigration and capital to develop it, As
regards his eyesight he speaks in high terms of the
operation performed by DR.. Pilkington, oculist Of
Portland, who some months ago performed deli
cate operation upon the eye by cutting open the eye
ball and removing portion of iris and restoring
perfect vision. Mr.. Cannon will leave for home
the fore part of the week - Ddiiy OreQonidn.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

Send S1.O0 to W. D. Palmer, Portland, for on
years subscription to the Pacific Overseer, tn
great semi monthly A. 0. U. W. paper.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

Frank G. Abel, the gold medal photographer
of Portland, has returned from a trip to San
Francisco, where he has been to procure new at
fractions for his gallery, and his work will now
be better than ever.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

When you visit Por tland see the Elite Theater
at the old and popular prices. frankie Howard
in her great song and dance, Hallett and Ray
mond IN their great sketches are among the
attractions.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

They 1.-THE revisers of the New Testa-
ment) have rendered an invaluable
service toward the right understanding
and the clear expression of the New
Testament. But their work is not per-
feet. We dare say that, knowing as they
do by experience the difficulties OF the
work, they are themselves the most con-
scious Of its imperfections. We are not
likely soon to have another committee Of
revision whose work will be SO well done,
still less be invested with so much au-
thority. But for that very reason 1t is o
pity it should not be made as perfect as
possible. OF course they cannot be OK.
pected to heed or care for every censure
or criticism that is psssed upon 1t. But
it is great pity that they should not
come together at some future time, and
either in committee of the whole or by a
subcommittee review their own work,
and remove such errors and imperfec-
tons as the best scholars always discover
in their published works and are eager
to correct in subsequent editions.
As Spring with its change Of weather creates .
revolution IN The very bowels Of the earth, -
does Pfunder's celebrated Oregon Blood Pur'hsr
create the desired oSanss In The human system.
Send in your orjers eltkes direet % Plumber ,
Co., OF any vhc1oen1e house IN Portland.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

Music: Largest stock on the northwest coast
orders filled promptly. Send stamp for catalogue
and journal, Wiley B. Allen 1853 Third street
Portland.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16

great vegetable Tonic for delicate females
Plumbers Oregon Blood Purifier
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1882-06-02
The Old Mans Consent.

Old bow-legged Jake. a colored man of
high standing and extreme biackness,
entered tie County Clerks office and
said:
Boss, wants par oh marriage Ii
Cense. Use an Old man, but Use gwino
to marry one Oh de youngest gals in dis
commdnity.'
"Hdve tie parents of the girl any OBJ
iections to the marriage?' asked the
Clerk, hesitating as to whether or not
the license should be issued.
Hit doan seem so ter me-" replied
Jake.
"Did you ask the old mans consent p
"No, sab"
How do you know then that he does
not object ?"
"Well. yer see has been calm on
de young lady for some time, an las
night de ole man come in. tuck down an
army gun an said he reckoned me an
Indy ouehter git marrid. Dis nnornin'
he come oher ter my house wild de gun
an said suthin' about my goin' at once
an getun' de license. tole him dat I
had " fe somewhat i'm re country. but
he r"r.cd he ole gun an looked so sad
like ia. | struck a trot for dis Office"
III vnu nave living wife, old man
/ can't issue license"
but, boss, dis Is one ob desc hear
stringent cases. DE fodder oh de gal is
standin, out at the corner oh dc house
wild that army gun. It's better, boss
for q man to hao two libin' wives den it
IL for oman to- hab one dead husband. :"
Finally, tile old man with the gun was
induced to come into the Off 20 and ex-
plain. "Weil, yer see, boss" he said.
cole Jake had been burniu' my oil an
weafiu' cut lie bottoms Of my chairs long
enough He's been eatn' at my house
more'n fclr, courtin' my gal. an now
| wants him 10 board de gar a while. II
he don t, TN bah to injure him" After
wl'ilo, however. the old man agreed
that il Jake would pay him five dollars
the affair would lie settled without mar
riaye.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1882-06-02
The Human Hand,

Even philosopher is overwhelmed
with sstonis hment when he 7, fleets with
any degree OF attention on the mechani-
cal structure Of the hand In the frs,
place, the II, network of the organ, the
bones entering into the composition OF
that ne mbtr, is "a maslorplece of aggr, GA.
ted contrivances, which throw into the
shade the most perfect contrivapc, ol
man in point Of combinations and ,fil.
cheney.
% From the shoulder to the tips Of the
fingers there are thirty 1.-TWO distinct b mes,
curiously aTtiCulated enc with another,
which could lot Le initiated with any tx-
pec;ation Of success viz: one shoulder
blade, ore collar .,ur, CIt arm bone,
two in the forearm, eight in the carpus
OF wrist, five in the palm Of the Lai q.
TWO IN the thumb, abu twelve III the fin
gers. Next, 10 move those thirty two
bones in all the directions they were de
signed TO act, there is "a perfect labyrinth
OF delicate cordege, which when separated
and distinctly displayed shows that there
are fOTtS six musclee-sud some anatO
mists make mOre--tO extend, bend, turn,
CleLch, III clench, nip, squeeze, and make
all the movements which wc Can give the
arm and hand lY simply willing to do So
But in order that the mind may hold
positive control over those thirty differ
emily formed bones by the frrty-six mus
Giles, of which no two are alike, there are
long nerves running like Telegraph wires
from the arm pit 10 the smallest fibre Of
every muscle. Fiou The plexus in the
axills, or Grm-pit, the nerves hold com
municGtiop, through the intervention of
other nerve threads, with the brain. Ole
set Of nerves, or rather telegraph chords,
convey messages TO The fingers, and an
other get send back word to the brain OF
the reception OF the order, and how busi-
ness ls trsnspirir z.
BesiotB eli THESE c. Implications, to nour-
ish and keep the several parts yltahzeQ
there are arteries, veins, lyDphatic-, ab
FOL bents, eXbaleLt tubes and tissues al
most beyond enumeration, 20 keep the
whole IN working order. And when in
good condition, what power il exeIts
IL convey an lntffable language, which
even brute animals understand. It mena-
CO, INVITES, repels, or gives character and
grandeur to the expressions of an orrtOr
II is bsDmer, wise, punch, wrench,
= lever, pTy, force aud q mighty power
by winch the pyramids were reared. c. Jh-
edTsls called into being from the hardest
queTri,s; and al that is smaziDg, surpris-
ing, celcaie, or calculated To 8dNbuCs
CIVILIZATION 10 art, Literature and science,
is accoml lished 10y those wonderful in.
ktrumt utG-- human bends
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1882-06-02
Sparkling too Long.

A young man wss telling some Of his
acquaintarces how he bad gone back on
hrs girl because che was sarcastic, and
they asked him 10 explain what be meant.
He said that be was spending the evening
with her and be noticed the, she seemed
to be sbsenl.mlnded or tired, or something.
About two o'clock In the morning he said
she started up suddenly in alarm and ex-
claimed "My, what is tbat2" He said
be didn't hear anything, and she sale che
thought maybe 1t WAS the milkman com
ing with tie milk. He said that she was
too sarcastic, md he would never go to
see her again. Well, probably he couldn't
suit her any better. Some fellows ovordo
the thing entirely when they go To- see a
girl and nothing .ill break them o. the
habit Of wearing out girl except some sar-
castle remark like that. Sometimes the
father of The girl will come To the head Of
the stairs and ask the girl If the morning
psp per has come, or If she will not tell her
visitor To tell the hired girl when he gels
ready Ia 90. These things may look To- q
young man TO be- sarcastic, but his con-
due, warrants il. There is no girl who is
well, and has the least desire to remain SO,
that wanis To ST. up all night with ordina-
y young men, she has got TO have come
sleep or she IL not worth the powder to
blow Yer up. She can get all the infor-
nation that be- has to impart in Elk or sew
eli lcugs and every hour he stays after
that is a dead loss Some young fellows
never know enough 10 80. They speak
oi II being time 10 90 about ten O'Clock,
and the grl to be polite, says: ooh,
don't bury away il is early yet and
the gsiOOt thinks she means IL, and he
goes INTO camp Tor IA few hours more, and
all the time the girl is on netues. She
wishes the house would take fire, or that
he would be seized with u cramp so he
would gol out. She knows she will be
ihe laugmug -s.Gc. OF the whole family,
ana wish.sne was ~ Gehena, but he stays
| rs though he Mas sitting up "ith a corps.
NJ giri wants to seem impolite, and no
! one will yaWn behind II handkerchief, or
hitch unes-ly in her chair and pray for
relief, anu when the slayer does finally
go, che will SKIP up stairs three At time
and give a Sigh of relief. We understand
mat e petition has been sent to the police,
signed 10y one hundred girls, asking them
to arrest any young man found ON the
way home after twelve o'clock at night,
unless he can give an account Of himself.
a girl uugh; 10 nave cheek enough 10 tell
a young man when he mas remained long
enough that il is time 10 retire aud ii be
does not go, call servant and have "a
mattress spread on the parlur floor and go
of and leave the deliberate young man To
stay all night il he wants To. This is writ
ten at the request Of u number OF young
girls who have become pale and hollow
eyed from being kept up until the eaily
hours Of The morning by smart Alecks,
who will know enough TO g. home after
this.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1882-06-02
SI'rCE.


II IS son eu'nes pretty bard to decide
which gives Us more pleasure, to hear
cur elves praised or to hear our neigh
rs run down.
Il take my tex dis mornin'," said a
colored preacher. "iiom dat potion oh de
Scripture whar de Postol Paul pints his
pistol TO de Fesions."
One Of the mobile red men" recently
taken tn Washington sententiOusly obs
served. on seeing locomotive tor the
first time. Heap wason-no hoss."
A woman has suggested that when men
break their hearts il il all the same as
when lobster breaks one of his claws,
another is spfouting and immediately
grows ia its place
Wont you ladies toll me what you
are talking about?" said Il fop; az n all
ears" one of them looked ut him sh.rp-
~, and sad, $50 you are--you ough,
never TO get your hair cut"
You are tho worst boy / ever saw -
exclaimed Blown 10 his son, "Whv
VIII you go ON ~ you do? I should
think you would have some respect for
your mther." How can /. dad. have
any respect Tor a man with such "A ras-
ca " son?" asked tho young reprobate.
1t certain y bctokens IA very c.oudv
matrimonial life, and yet the poor wid-
ow's remark wasquaint enough To make
smile. When her friend nondoled with
her she hedved Il deep sigh and murmur-
cd, well, there il one con ISOLATION, AT
any rate. / know whore poor John is
now o. nights. and that is something /
could never find out before"
\ witty attorney, who was counsel for
the opposing s.do ina case with Mrs.
Belva Lockwood, was puzzled how &c
address her. Hc could not say "mv
learned brother. and my learned sister
had rather an odd SOUND. SO ho conpro.
missed matters, and brought dow, the
house by abiding to her as my learned
sisier-in- law -