The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-10-10
Seuse and nn,lset1se.

Why are gentlenen's love-letters so
liable to 90 astray2 Because they are
always mis-directed.
ALBANY, Georgia, has negro who is
turning white. 1t is strange what men
will do to get an office.
sCan you flirt fan ?" asked a CO.
quette of her partner. ''No" he replied,
81 can not; but can fan frt."
Before the wedding day she was dear
and he was her treasure; but afterward
she became dearer and he treasurer.
Dead men, it Is affirmed, tell no tales;
but nobody has ever ventured similar
assertion with regard to dead women.
Acknowledgement OF cheap shoes adds
Ladies' wishing these cheap shoes will
do we'll to call soon, as they will not last
long"
The Berlin butcher who named one
of h,s products the Bismarck sausage
has been arrested for insulting the gouty
statesman.
A Michigan woman pns ice in her
churn to make the butter hard and firm
in hot weather, but for some reason or
other it was failure.
'D> you want fast colors? ?" queried
the dry goods clerk. mo, indeed !"
she answered, with blush, "Charley
doesn't like anything fast!'
Adolphu. wants to know if it is any
worse for man tc>part his hair in the
middle than to part his moustache under
the scenter. Who nose2
A Portland school which had been
exercised to walk coolly out in case OF
fire, tumoled over each other like sheep
when real alsrm was sounded.
The young man who aims to be a
"daisy" is not appreciated in the coun-
try. The farmer thinks that daisies are
a nuisance and hates them accordingly.
A Seymour mechanic who picked up
a piece ofhot metal by mistake, let go
of it s quickly as to throw his shoulder
out of joint. This is the fastest time on
record.
The fashionable dance in Hungary is
1 one in which every man dancing hugs
two women at the same time. The
HuDgarans are evidently far more fly
than they look.
81 am in favor of free trade were
the swelling worls Of seedy- looking
fellow. 1t was the unanimous opinion
of those who heard him that instead of
free trade he meant free lunch.
A Kentucky black snake which tried
to fascinate an old rooster didn't have
glare. enough 10 hold the old bird off
more than ten seconds, and then there
was a dead snake and Growing chan
ticleer.
1t is said that s'the quaint old pagan
fashion of wearing bracelets nv men
is gaining ground in Continental Europe.
The fashion of wearing collars with chain
attachment might with p-oprietv be ex
tended from monkeys and puppies to
such "meD."
Don't blame the rooster for hrag-
ring over every egg that is laid in the
family. Only human nature, nothing
more. You remember that when that
bouncing hoy arrived at your house it
WASH t the mother who went about do.
ing the Growing.
"Come here, my little Eddy" said a
gentleman to yeungster of seven years
of age, while sitting in the parlor, where
large company was assembled. "Do
you know me ?" "Yes, sir, I think
do {" "Who am I, then2 Let me hear -
"Y u are the man that kissed sister An
geline last night in the observatory"
"No, SIR" said Dr.. Jalap, IL woulin't
have that apple tree cut down for money,
"But You never get any fruit from it,
argued Brown "the bovs stea! all the
apples before they are halfripe" "That's
just it, replied the doctor, with auiel
smile; "that tree stands me in good
thousand every season
A girl born in Buchanan, Virginia,
recently, has living on her mothers side
grandfather. great. grandfather, grand.
mothers, and on her fathers side, grand
father and grandmother. that child
doesn't find out what being "spoiled'
is by the time she can walk it will he q
wonder.
A citizen OF Troy has discovered that
by tying handkerchief tightly around
the head an average nan can drink a
double allowance of beer and not have
his head affected. The Trojsns consider
this discovery a sweet hoon to mankind,
and now when you go to Troy you will
understand why every other man you
FIsee on the street has handkerchief tied
Tightly around his head.
Captain Of the Dispatch to Secretary
Chandler-"Will you proceed to the
quarter deck The marines will salute
! on there 1t is the custom!" Secretary
of the Navy-"The quarterback ? Beg
your pardon, Captain, but don't you
think the Secretary Of the United States
Navy should he received on the half
dollar deck, il you have one?" The
Captain falls overheard
A young lady of Philadelphia, who
was wearing handsome new dress. the
sleeves Of which fitted as tight as her
skin, came near losing her life on Satur-
day. In attempting to remove her waist
the cuff Of one sleeve was so tightly
wedged against blood vessel that cir
culation was arrested and she tainted
Her fall brought assistance. and the
sleeve had to be cpt open before it could
be removed.
; A woman has to exercise a good deal
of self-denial 10 take husband. While
she remains single she has sweet com.
pliments showered upon her by all her
male acquaintances. These cease after
marriage. Tue men are either afraid to
continue their flsltery or have no longer
desire to continue it, aud her husband
well, man and wife are one, AID fel.
low would be ninny to be forever
praising himself J ..-.
Returns from distinguished watering
. place. Foreigners are coming in early
this season. "Count Zanekelli" net ,
, wealthy and fashionable Philadelphia
: belle at Cape May, and persuaded he
without much difficulty to promise to b
J his'n. Then he borrowed diamond
! 'lring to he used as measure for the en-
gagement ring which he went to buy
/ When che got the diamond again 1t wa
II from the hands Of detective who foun,
q Eit in pawn shop. Cards are not We