The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-01-27
More Truth than llumOr.

The editor of the "writing down" de
partment of live contemporary had
just finished disinfecting an editorial be
fore sending it in to the printers, when
an exhausted-looking special reporter,
with shiny coat ard hungry look,
slid into the victims chair, and said
"lf you please, sir, | haven't brought
any copy in today. | think, on the
whole, will resign
What the devil do you mean, sir p
growled the slave pen driver, aghast at
such audacity from a reportorial peon at
so week
"'rhe fact is said the interviewer,
after working off a graveyard cough,
81 cant stand it any longer I'm all
broke up"
Hungry, ell p snecred the boss jour
nalst. ats singular how the writers
on this paper are always sniyeling for
something to eat
'Tain't so much that" replied the
reporter, feebly. "It's these personal
interviews that are doing it. You'll
have to put some tougher man in my
place don't think I've got the STAN
ina and assurance required for personal
journalism, anyway.
Anybody licked you to day p growl-
ed the editor. You're pretty reporter
to squeal at being thrown down stairs
now and then"
ooh, l don't mind the throwing out.
I'm used to that but it's the exposure
and the fatigue that plays me out. l
haven't got the staying powers, you
see.
"The what p
"Why, the hang on--the grip--don't
you understand For instance, last
week I've been on the Palace Hotel de
tail to interview noted arrivals; four
nights hand running I've had to crawl
under those Internally low bedsteads
they lave it the Palace, and lie there
twelve or fourteen hours, although the
dust and feathers keep out every word
the distinguished arrivals said then
pehraps, along in the morning, I'd fall
asleep and be butted i'll the nose a few
times by sweepNg machine. Perhaps
you imagine that's pleasure ?"
"You should wear one of those patent
Keyhole Nose and Eye Protectors, like
the rest of the boys do, said the other.
Bad cold you've got there.
It'll be the death of me- gasped the
official, who had been coughing for five
minutes. Il caught it last week on that
divorce case on Van Ness Avenue. To
Get at the bottom of the facts | had to
hide in the bath room for two days. |
kept the tub filled, and every time any
body came around I'd have to dive in TO
hide myself Sometimes | couldn't come
to the surface to breathe for more than an
hour
That's nothing" abstractedly replied
the editor, who was writing a sensational
item with the scissors
"Ain't ch p muttered the journalistic
wreck But last nights work let me
out for good. You know | was sent W
to skplk round that Supervisors house
to work up that sewer steal matter
Wei, there was no closet, or any othel
high grass in the room, so had to rusl
up the chimney. was getting on first
rate, and had both cuffs filled with mem
orandums when, toward evening, tn,
weather tullcu Cllll y,dili Ill blcNScu l
they didn't start fire in the crate. had t.
shin up clear to the top Of the house
four stories-to get out. Look here
and the interviewer held up badl
scorched pair OF pants and shoes wit
the bottoms burned clean out.
so you think you'll quit, ch ?"
:Wcll, | should smile" said tn
smoked-out party, Il thought I'll TT
and hang on until the soup house
opened, but it's no-" and his voic
died away into an inaudible rattle.
, 1t was more than IN hour before II
editor looked up again, and then |
2 started and said
2 "Great Scott he's dead Well, tn
| is luck Here, somebody, lock the do,
1 quick, and help me put the corpse in Il
| closet until the paper goes to press.
And, with grin of tiendish deligf
t the live quill driver started in on p
= thetic account of the sad event, hcad'
|. Melancholy Occurrence ! Sudden Dea
e of n Well Known Journalist. = 5,
e Francisco Post.