The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-13
u rit,eu for The Sunday Morning Raz-o.
1T CLINGS TO HIM,
Does the Happy Recollection Of
the Ancient Boarding
House

Inroe StOfN euluce, III d lucau SITcet
On the east side of the town, within
three doors of one of the busiest
thoroughfares.
ITS MISTRESS.
lady of foreign extraction, had re-
tanned in full perfection that lively
sntipathy to soap and water, charac-
teristic of her nationality. Her hus-
band was a policeman, and six or
seven ubiquitous children impart the
reverse of gladness to their mutual
household.
Mrs. BIS hydrophobia is equally
manifest in her person, children and
establishment; the former being large
loose, oleaginous and black worsfed
st )ckingized; the second unkempt, ino
dorous and ragged; and the three EN-
phatically dirty. Her hair was red
and coiffeu a-la-horse tail. She has a
generally stingy, down-at-heel-and-go-
acknowledgements. No
good man could look at her without a
wish to
PUT HER UNDER A PUMP,
which would be also his impulse in
respect to her children. Their ages
ranged from three months to eight
wears, the minors being vociterous
twins.
Their affections were confined to
dirt, pies, candies, dead cats and the
cutters of the vicinity. 1t was diff
cult to avoid treading upon them as
YOU mounted the stair case which was
generally if We may be allowed the
expression, in squirmy condition.
The premises were of peculiar con-
struction. A little dry goods estab-
lishment, having no connection with
them, occupied the lower story, ascent
TO the upper rooms being gained by
the narrow, and excessively dirty
,,.,ir-c..se just alluued to. TueSe eN-
tended over boot store in the ad-
iacent throughfare, as we discovered
on the first night of cur sojourn in the
house. We were then indicted into
a small room very like the interior of
a collapsed diving bell. 1t had no
particular shape, and but one window,
which was h,rmetically fastened and
looked into a sort of shaft covered at
the top by cucumber frame skylight
for the purpose of Illuminating the
Promises below.
Opposite us in an apartment of
similar construction, We remarked
that two of the window panes had
been removed, possibly for ventilla-
ton, thus allowing one of the occu-
pants an opportunity of
STICKING HIS FEET THROUGH,
and going to sleep in that position.
We thought of plagiarizing the idea
as it was in July, but were doubtful as
TO the result.
Our neighbors, two rough, good
humored laboring men sometimes
played the banjo, and sometimes
fought in bed. They also sent the
landlady's eldest son out for beer and
generally invited us to partake,
bringing it into our chamber at mid
night, in q ever. And once they
made our roommate drunk on New
England rum with tobacco in it.
He was a remarkably ugly boy, the
expression of whose countenance,
could only be compared to that of
BILIOUS GOLDFISH
attempting to swallow a bomb shell,
the fuse of which had been previously
lighted. He used to make himself i'll
in attempting to smoke strong cigars,
and, at first, manifested an inclination
to become unpleasantly confidential, on
the subject Of busts." He received our
advice to confne his indulgences to
peanuts and the Bowery pit with in
iignation. Heat and insect phlebot-
omists, after four nights occupancy of
this apartment effected our removal to
another. This was little room over
che passage which had been white
washed no later than three years
ago, and where we had the unshared
privilege Of feeding the myriads of
creeping carnivori.
We never saw red rovers in such
urofusion or of equal ferocity. They
would have reduced our Daniel Lam
bert to an anatomical preparation in
the course of one night. We soon
learned why the old English poets
o,odo the devil lord of insects. Never
a kings son in christendom could be
hetter bitten. We were
spnrrED ALL OVER LIKE LEOPARD,
and had to 90 to sleep with lamp
and matches by our bedside; waking
up regularly. to half hour battles or
rather to explosive and inodorous ere
nations.