Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-14
THE sP0OPENDYKEs
Building a Fountain.
brooklyn Eagle.

planted the nozzle of the street-sprinkler
and braced it with bricks so it would
squirt straight up, my dear, that makes
considerable of fountain. wish had
thought of it before.''
Upon nay word" giggled Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. "Why. you are really an inventor.
That's the best fountain ever saw; but
how are you going to take it DOWN." and
Mrs. Spoopendyke contemplated the foun-
tain with considerable misgiving.
''Don't want to take it DOWN." grunted
Mr.. Spoopendyke. ':It comes down itself
by the natural law of gravitation. Did
you suppose that water intended to squirt
up In the air and wait for me to bring it
down on step-ladder? Got some kind of
a notion that was going to tie a rope
around that water and haul it down, hadn't
ye? Well, I'm not, and I amt going to
offer it any chromos to come down,
either!" And Mr.. Spoopendyke seated
himself on the lower step and eyed his
fountain with great deal of satisfaction
"How long are you going to let it
squirt" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious
to have the trouble begin that it might be
over the sooner.
80 guess about twenty feet" replied
Mr.. Spoopendyke, measuring the hight of
the stream with his eye and chuckling to
himself. "That's about as long as the
pressure will permit, and I thought I'd let
it go that far before hitched it up." and
Mr.. Spoopendyke shook all over as the full
strength of his joke impressed itself upon
him.
Mrs. Spoopendyke watched the play Of
the water in silence.
''P'raps you think I can't get that foun-
tain apart without getting wet" said Mr..
Spoopendyke at length. 'Maybe you have
imbibed the idea that when turn that
water off Pm going to be soaked. Well,
I'm not. The head that invented this
fountain knows how to keep itself dry"
and Mr.. Spoodendyke got up and walked
around his prize, his face beaming with
smiles. The water was falling in perfect
shower upon the key-box, and in the after
noon sun the fountain looked remarkably
pretty.
Mrs. Spoopendyke made no response,
but patiently awaited developments.
''Now bring me the umbrella" said Mr..
Spoopendyke, preparing himself for the
closing triumph. Bring me forth the fiery
untamed umbrella"' and as Mrs. Spoken
dyke handed it to him, he raised it, picked
up his key, and approached the stream.
The umbrella protected him from the down
pour, but as he bent over to turn the water
off the kissing shaft struck under the ging.
ham, and, missing the umbrella with a
vicious jerk, tipped Mr.. Spoopendyke owe,
ON his beam ends.
''Dod CAST the measly squirt he yelled
as soon as he recovered breath. ''What did
ye want to distract my attention for?' and
he shook the umbrella at his wife as he rose
dripping to his feet. ''Another time when
I'm fixing this fountain you get under the
bed, ye hear?' and Mr.. Spoopendyke glared
around him and approached the enemy
once more.
This time he held the umbrella straight
out before him, cropping along behind it
with the key. He had almost reached the
rod when the stream struck the outside of
the umbrella, and as it whirled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke spun around, landing in a sitting
position on the fountain, which lifted him
about foot and rolled him in the gutter.
''Thats what ye were waiting to see, was
it," he shouted as he climbed to his feet,
and shook his fist at his trembling wife.
'Been roosting up there to watch the dis
play of genius against brute force! Got an
idea hid away somewhere that this fountain
| and me amt on friendly terms!" and he
whanged the umbrella across the steadily
pouring stream, got caught once more, land
landed in the gutter again. this time on
the back of his neck. GLOW dye like the
show" he squealed, bounding to his feet.
There's going to be concert after the Cir
cus" and he charged once again with
his umbrella, which this time was
jerked out of his hand and
rolled over in the street. Procure
your tickets of the gentlemanly ushersv'
| and he grabbed his weapon and made an
other onslaught. mot that the circus per-
Torrance is coucluded" he continued as
| he fell clear over the stream and rolled in
to the umbrella. ''The best is yet to
come" and in trying to straighten the
umbrella, which had turned inside out, he
caught the fountain again and slid down
it on to the curbstone with a sound like a
bung starter on barrel.
''My dear, why don't you began
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Saint II" roared her husband. s'P'raps
you know more about the personal habits
of this dod gasted squirt than I dor' and
he slammed at it with the umbrella and
kicked at it until his leg was loose
''Maybe you've got some political infiu-
ence here"' and lowering his head behind
the umbrella he charged again
The water tipped the umbrella
straight, poured up into it, and fell
in deluge on MIR. Spoopendyke's head
and shoulders. ''Don't be alarmed. ladies!'
he squealed. There's no danger!'' and he
smashed the umbrella down over it, like an
extinguisher. ga competent corps of doc
gasted officials on handr' but at this
juncture the umbrella ripped from handle
to whalebone tip, the stream caught Mr..
Spoopendyke under the chin and landed
him pale and gasping against the fence.
| s'This is what meant, dear,'' said Mrs
Spoopendyke, boldly approaching the
fountain, kicking the nozzle over an6
turning the water off. s'Thats what
wanted"
II know what ye want!' yelled Mr.
Spoopendyke, fairly beside himself with
rage when he saw how easy it was done
''Ye only want little political influence
and brick chimney to be a board OF
water commissioners! If could kick like
you, I'd build wall around me, get into 8
wash-tub then rent out as a reservoir! Il
that's all ye wanted what made We howl fol
fountain? If ye only wanted to kick il
Over- what made va stand oronn1 m 4