South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-02-03

- luuge AT montgomery, Alabama,
recently intercepted very fowery
young orator with Hold on. hold on.
my dear sir. Don't 90 auy higher
You are already out of she jurisdiction
of This Court
Two Irishmen travelling came 10
very poorly supplied inn.
What can you give va for supper p
said they to the lean and shiyering land
lord.
I've naught in the house but one
pigeon replied he; so you mus. make
the most of it between ye,'
All right replied the shrewder OF
the Two; bring us your bird, and we'll
divide him.
The dish was accordingly produced,
when Paddy, turning TO his companion,
said, Now, Mike, Pve been thinking
this ghos, OF bird won't bear dividing;
what dye say to tossing up Tor is ia
this way: well go to bed, and to.mor-
row morning whoever has had the
tiaest dromo shall have the pigeon for
his breakfast
The proposal vas accepted, and next
morning, when tho travellers
met, Paddy took the word, and inquired
OF bis companion how he had slept and
what he had dreamed.
Bsdadr replied Nike, 'and didn't |
just drame, aud wasn't it dramc tharll
bate hollow every other dramo that iver
was drained. There was in tie very
midst OF the sivin,h heaven, with eli The
powers OF glory round me, and clouds
OF angels and archsugels oud bewild
ermont Of saints aud patriarchs, all
making much Of me and hosting M
UP, and up, and up, till couldn't 30
any higher, and then l woke.
Och, we'll said tue other, its
strange thing, but had exactly the self
same drame meself and | know what
you says thrue, for l saw We dying up
and up, and | says TO myself, Sure,
now, Mikes got up as high as that, he'll
never be sch fool as to come down
any more so | got up and | ate the
pigeon
She had him He slipped quietly IN
Mt the door, but catching sight of an
iuluiring face over the stair rail, said :
Sorry so late, my dear; couldn't get
car before so the cars were full,
too said the lady, and further remarks
were unnecessary.
The other evening gentieman's but
ton caught hold on the fringe OF la
dy's shawl I'm attached TO YOU said
the gentleman, laughing, while ho was
industriously trying to get loose. The
attachment is mutual was the good
na!ured reply.
A person described by q Kansas pa
per as "a bald-headed judge rubbed his
pate daily with fresh raw onion, and
IN two months his hair grew out. IL
probably came out, remarks a contem.
porsrv, to ascertain why its proprietor
always had.the whole room to himself.
Little brother, having heard the bar
rem spots in the field called 'aIkali
spots, came to moJber one day while an
old bald-heaaed man was visiting here,
and said IN n loud whisper: Mamma,
that man has an alkali spot on his
head
a cynical Old practitioner says: "a
lady who practices medicine commits
two faults she increases the number Of
doctors and dimipishes the number of
women.
In Italy they license hand organs,
which are in tune. a discordant note
is not permitted. Hand organs which
can't get license are shipped TO this
country.
a Cairo girl whose lovers name is
PoIeg bIushingly addresses him ns Pc
limb. Her molesty is Of several years
duration and has baGled the skill Of the
pest physicians.
y NEWSPAPER PArnog. lie came in
With q very eager look in his face, aud
inquired whether Tho publishers could
furnish him with copy Of the paper
OF jus. sixteen weeks ago. lie wanted
D.. csY.ol.,If g r,- ygroetLfp.. tLor, ,,,,