Smyrna times., 1882-11-01
WHOLE NO. 1926.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

PHILADELPHIA EVEEING NEWS.
Crush hats are still popular among
gentlemen who attend balls.
y wealthy man in Nillcrsburc. Ohio.
drives . dray Just to keep busy. Were
he poor he probably would bc too
proud TO.
Cannot some one invent 4 substitute
for iron -a!c- which thieves are cOntin-
ualiy blowing up r. BcakcrS Jouraai.
We Use = Tc~t-pockct.
1t Is time to bring tender plants into
the house, Edih' Ii You have hu--
band, and want him to love you lrayy
them out until next spring.
\ New York garba., collector ha-
amasscd $1,000 after fifty years labor
in back allcy- and hi family are now
looking around tcr a cOat-of-arm-
The doc,oi- are now fighting coffee.
-E,~'on Pest. We have often noticed
tha, coffee has very bad effect or
those who chew i: seems 10 maxi
them dizzE
\ Chinese coin -.il 10 be 1000 ycal~
old. has been found hy cold miners in
British Columbia. It is possible tha,
this country. after all. Wa~ discovered
by 4 Chjnaman.
The New Yorl, N.rs thus ypi,olnilo~
the rcSist!c-s thread Of human progress
The march Of Improvement doe No.,
wait on the antics of q drum-maio.
and a silver ccrnct band.
\ Michigan fellow married . .:.l
just 10 run OFT with the bride git
This cXplaincs why 80 many wcddiu.
presents are cheap nothiugs. Tn,
donerS are afraid the groom j. not in
earnest.
The comet was what knocked thr
Republican party in Ohio. - many
men got in the habit Of sitting up every
night to ste it that by the time election
came they were iu>t in the right eondi-
tion t. vc,c the iree-rum ticket
Another =. Louis man started into
a newspaper office to waIlop the editor
a few day ago. hu, when ne noticed
that he "a- being followed by S.x
undertakc.-. five sections and coroner
all anxious .ur job. he thought better
Of il and Went l.m-.
In China they always yacciuaty
people on the tip Of thc nose. and when
there is danger OF an epidemic a whole
city gets Vaccinated al once. Ii j. said
that after the things begin to take
| it i impossible for an American travel
cr to realize that he i not in II. Louis
\ Vienna man. who describes him.
sell a. repul-ivc in appearance and a
brute in human form advertiscs for a
! wife and appears 10 think he will gr'
! one Jus; because he is rich What i
fool he Is. Women never marry mel
unless they can love. respect an,
!, honor them. the mere possession o
: wealth having no attraction whatever
= \ burglar got into i Baltimor,
house the other evening and made hi
wayto the purlor. which was very dark
! 1t - happened that the eldest daughter
:. OF the family was there expecting hel
lover. and of course She made a mis-
: take When the burglar escaped L,
ran for half a mile without stopping
and atterward warned his companions
p to keep away from that house. " for,
said he you may not believe it, bu
\ its an actual fact that they keep 81
unclaimed bear right in the parlor.
:. The Western climate must be yer.
e healthy" remarked a Philadelphia
-e who noticed the bright eyes and bloom
e, ing complexion ola Kansas lady. oh,
E she replied. the climate Is not re
1t markable, but its the feeling of perfec
II freedom that makes Us all look :
" healthy and happy " Pardon mt
e my dear madam. but l do not quit
/ understand" Not understand?
thought you knew that in kansa
every woman is mistress of her ow1
! house We have no servant girl
y, there
n When a New York paper wants t
be particularly severe and tiendishl
r. cutting, it refers to a rival as "Ou
ne esteemed contemporary. When
lie Missouri paper wants to express III
same idea it does it in this way: Th
ignorant. contemplate. mean. sneal
ing. cowardly. self-important. low
ed flung, dirty, outIandish, back-bitin;
self-styled politician dead-beat, whi
key bloat. backwoOds hummer. 10.
he cabin child of misfortune. beer-iufate,
lie. big headed. soft skulled, overrate
Rs. swamp angle who claims 10 edit th
swamp paper.