The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-05-27


i'll these terms:
Respected Sir, | am the twin bro
ther, and these ladies and gentlemen
are the nearest and most intimate
friends Of the late George Brown,
whom you slew On the night of the
31st Of August last, by sundry blows
Of a sledge-hammer, in order to pos
sess yourself of a nickel watch which
he had bought for five dollars.
Desiring to make known to the
public the sentiments of admiration
and respect with which your conver-
sion has filled us we pray YOU TO ac-
cept our humble homage in the shape
of a complete set of dittoes for your
own use. We viii take it as an ines
Unable favor if you will were them at
tomorrow mornings ceremony"
James DuX elected a quid toward
the pile of boquets heaped behind him
and, having tumifed his cheeks with a
fresh slug Of tobacco, he took the bun
die, tore off the paper covering, and
successively unfolded the coat, waist
coat and trousers, examining the tex
ture of the stuff with the touch OF
connoisscur.
"Are these English articles warrant
ed, you know"
"Oh, yes" chorused the group of
relatives and friends,
--latest fashion,"
ooh, yes"
Buttons soGdly sewn-in no slop-
shop work?o
ooh, yes
But, as he pursued his examination,
sudden creases puckered his forehead,
and in voice trembling with anger
he eXclaimed:
"Where are the braces! There aint
no braces on the trousers, nor buttons
on the coat sleeves.
The members OF the deputation re-
garded each with an embarrassed air.
A whispered colIoquy took place
among them. At last two Of the
youngest Of the party hurried out, and
the orator, regaining his presence Of
mind, gave MIR. Dux his assurance
that the forgotten articles would be
supplied without delay.
"All right" ," said the assassin; lets
say no more about il"
At that moment a smothered sob
was heard.
1t came from one of the two orphan
daughters left by poor George Brown.
oh, Mr.. Dux," she murmured
amid her tears, chow did you find it in
your heart TO kill our good father?"
"It was his own fault, +" answered
James.
"He provoked me by making an ex-
hibition of that burned watch. | could
not resist the temptation. Only for
that ALFRED time-piece | should have
died of hunger, like a man, before |
would dream Of ofrobbery It was more
than imprudent it was downright i'm
moral on his part"
''The Browns were always too fond
Of ostentation," loudly declared a fat
lady with red face, who was no 9TH
er than the presideutess of the society
for the protection of pentitent assass-
ins. "Poor man" she resumed, turn
ing towards Dux, you are dying
victim to the deplorable vanity of our
relative. For my part | am of the
emphatic opinion that it is high time
to pass law interdicting the parade
Of articles ofyalue."
That's a fact, assented Mr.. Hiram
X. Anthropologus, secretary of the
society. A saint himself could not re-
sist. Brown was entirely to blame
Mr.. Dux, tell me, please, when the
temptation assaiIed you to kill George
in order to get his watch, did you sut-
fer much?"
"Terrible, sir, terrible. When |
saw him pull it out to look at the
hour | thought he wanted to rile me-
That's q thing, YOU know, no citizen
of this free country can stand without
getting his dander up. 1t sort Of af-
fected me in the stomach at first, then
in the legs, and then in the head. i
tried to resist, and even made an at
tempt to run away. But / can't
tell how it came to pass, | wasn't
equal to it, and when calmness return
ed, was STOPPING over the man, a
sledgehammer in my hand, and his
skull was smashed! No
matter it can't be helped now that it
is over, / forgive him from the bot
tom Of my heart"
Poor mani' cried all the ladies
present in a tone Of profound commits
Grafton and then began a rivalry be-
tween them as to who should give
farewell token to the condemned.
''Do take my porte-monnaie." said
one "And this flask of smelling-salts,
said another
Here is my box Of pulmonic wa
fers." added a third They are
sovereign remedy against asthma and
difficult breathing"
Dux took everything that was offer
cred him, but all went the way of the
boquets before long.
A tumult in a corner put an end to
these effusions Of friendliness. Anun-
fortunate wretch, all rags and patches
his cheeks hollow from long fasting,
was struggling in the clutches of some
half-dozen persons.
II have caught him. screeched
female voice. "He was trying to steal
the venison pastry sent for James
Duxi"
Gentleman, if you please, ladies'"
gasped the poor beggar, Il have not
tasted food for two days, and--and