davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
Heard Something Drop.

The Republicans who inclined their
LARGE fair ears toward Kentucky in the
sweet and blessed hope of hearing some-
thing drop have not been disappointed
Something has dropped, but it is the
Republican coalition, which has met
with the fate of Humpty Dumpty. The
Republicans had a strong candidate:
the Democratic nominee had weakened
himself by very foolish display early
in the snrine. and further, had been
compelled by illness TO suspend his cam
yass. and even the Democrats were pre-
pared. if not to concede the State to
their opponents. at least to look for
considerable reduction of their majority.
The behavior of the Republicans since
the fateful 9TH of August has savored
of the eYer-memorable conflict be-
tween the dog Bose. the pride of
Kentucky, and the alleged dog which
waggish tavern keeper pitted against
him, but which in reality was wolf
With pride and confidence the owner OF
Bose dropped that noble animal into the
corn-crib where his antagonist was con-
fined, and with cheerful chuckles he
heard the sound of battle arise After
two minutes had elapsed he re-
marked. with the cordial apprecl-
alton of a generous foeman, that that
other dog was no slouch; after five
minutes he observed with pensiveness
not devoid of anxiety that he had never
known dog stand up agin Bose SO
long and two m nutes later. when an
ominous silence succeede to the sounds
of strife. he threw open the entrance to
the crib and Bose tottered out, complete
ly eviscerated, to die, while the wolf IN
expressive panlomime called for the sec
ond course to be brought in Such has
been the experience of the Republicans
of Kentucky. A Washington correspon-
dent informs us that HubbeI 5 assistance
to the Independent Democratic candi-
date has cost them two il not three
Congressman. That his estimate IS not
far out of the way is shown by the fact
that the Republicans have been sitting
in dazed surprise, too utterly flabber-
gasted even to howl :. Fraud We
await, however, Mr.. Hubbell' $ explana-
tion of the cause and extent OF the catas-
tropbe, feeling reasonably sure that il
will only strengthen him in his belief
that it is utter folly to waste money on
the Southern Republicans which might
be utilized in helping him to wrest the
Senatorship from Mr.. Ferry, and that
the only way to get Southern Repub
lican into Congress is to count him il
at Washington. 7. World.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
Dick Benbridge's Catfish.

Two weeks ago. Mr. Smith, living a
few miles from Calhoun, Ga, on the
Costanaula River, lost heifer about
three years old, aud. rs it was fine stock,
made diligent search, but could not find
it. A few DAYS ago 4 party of young
men fishing on the river-wer attracted
by the smell of a dead carcass, and upon
exarufsss-ss the cause. 10 and beholdi they
found a monster catfish. which had
swallowed the calf, and the horns of
the calf, becoming entangled in the gills
of the fish. had drowned the fish. The
fish measured exactly twentY-three feet
and seven inches in length, and was five
feet eight and one-quarter inches aeros;
the head. and, from the length of the
whiskcrs. was supposed to be III year
old. -Calso,1a Ga Times.
A Times reporter on Thursday last
read the foregoing extract to Captain
Benbridge. the celebrated mud-cat fish
ernan of this city, for the purpose OF
learning whether in his opinion the story
was worthy of credence. Captain b.
listened attentively to the reading, and
then unqsaIiii~lly stated that he had no
doubt the catfish had swallowed the
heifer rs related, and cited several in
stances coming within his own expert
enee to demonstrate the voracity-
.'gaminess. the Captain termed it-of
the mud catfish. "In 1882 said the
Captain. Il was fishing at Goose Island
in the Wabash, with my younger brother
Tom and Jay Mix, when Tom accident
ally lost his footing and was immersef
in twenty feet of water. As he was .
good swimmer, however, | had no fears
for his safety, when suddenly, to my
horror. | observed a terrible commotion
in the water. and instantly saw Tom dis
appear within the Jaws of an immense
catfish Knowing that this species of
fish had no lacerating teeth, l calmed
myself with the thought that, if | could
manage to capture the monster, the
safety of Tom would still be assured, as
| should find him alive and well in the
catiish's belly. JAY and |, therefore,
captured one of John Rodefer's sheep
which WAS feeding on the island, through
which we run longitudinally a boat
hook. to which we attached our painter
or boat-rope With this immense bait
and tackle we commenced fishing for
the catfish. and in less than ten minutes
had him landed high and dry, and found
Tom safely ensconced inside. as safe and
and sound as if in feather-bed. We
measured his finny highness and found
him to be nineteen feet long-one of the
largest / ever caught. o yes, said the
Captain in conclusion, s'you may rely
upon the Georgia catfish story as being
strictly true. Lafayette (I1ti.J Times.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
The Republican Party from a Repub-
lican Standpoint.
The Springfield (Mass.) Republico

The Springfield (Mass) Republican
says:
:: Two years ago The country gave the Re.
publican party another chance. 1t sees how
ina. cnance mas peen used IL sees lns party
leadership & ven to Robeson aud keifcr. 1t
sees an eNtravagant AMI in great measure in
efficient ses sion It sees tariff reform lodged
and C.vll-servsce Reform ltUghed at. IL secs
the offensive and dcspcabls tax on Office
holders enforced with new al, by the chosen
fugleman O the Republican, C1i,gT., ,ssrnen 1t
catch votes in doubtful districts and the pub
lie offices handed over as patronage to the
able men among the party leaders either as
sent ng or cove into silence.'
This is a strong Indictment, and COM
ing from such source extremely sig
nificant. 1t is a frank and fearless Re-
publican acknowledgement that all Re-
publican talk about reform is shcerest
bosh. The party is incapable of reform;
has not a drop of reform blood in its
veins, never has had and never will
have. 1t went into power twenty one
years ago on a platform every plank of
which was, so to speak. saturated with
reform. What professions and proInis-
es they were that fioated Lincoln to the
Presidency How the Democratic Aug
can stables were to be cleansed and
fumigatedi How all the rogues were
to be rewarded, What care was to be
exercised in the selection of public
servants, and how scrupuiously
watched and guarded was to be the
expenditure of public money! How in
dustrious and incorruptible were to be
the Republican Congresses, and how
much as Cesar wife ought to have been
every Republican ofiiciall How the coun-
try and the world were to admireand APP
plaud the great, glorious and beneficent
change from Democratic sin to Repub-
lican righteousness Well. the history
of twenty-one wears is before u.s. and
speaks for itself loud enough to wake
the dead. In no single department of
Government from highest to lowest has
there been the slightest Improvement,
and there is no department of Govern
naent from highest to lowest which has
not deteriorated in its management in
one way or another. The cost of Gov
eminent has increased enormously. and
it is well known that very large pro-
ortion of this cost is the result of
shameless extravaganza, culpable neg
.ect, or worse. How many rings were
there during the sixty years of Demo-
cratic rule /? How many have there been
under Republican rule? WhatDemocrat-
ic Congress had Credit Mobilier scan
dalp What Democratic President patron
;zed and protected a nest of whisky
thieves? What Democratic Secretary OF
War matched Belknap2 or what Demo
cratic Secretary of the Navy matched
Robeson? Was it Democratic Ad-
ministration that kicked out Brlstow
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15

and defended Babcock? Was it DEM
ocratic National Convention that nomi-
mated for the Presidency man who
denied under oath what was proved
upon him, and for the Vice-PresidencY
q man who was dismissed from a
custom-house .for conduct preju-
dicial TO the interests of the Govern
ment?"
No wonder our Massachusetts, name
sake is disguised and discouraged by
the principles and practices OF its par,
ty- 1t is rotten without and within, and
'.there is no health in il" Fairly and
fully tried it has been found wanting
in every particular, and to-day its great
est-energy is displayed in hunting up
some moral issue to hide a swindle.
or in crushing every honest and earnest
effort for reform With such chiefs as
Robeson and Keifer. Conklng, Cameron
and Logan, what is there to hope for
in the future except a record as bad as
in the past? 1t has already lived toe
long for the country good, and moth
ling will graee.iEss-llie lilz-svthe ending O
4 il. s'--.St. Loais Rebltbafcan.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
pUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

AT a dinner given by Mrs. John
Jacob Astor at Newport recently, roses
were banked up three feet high on her
table. The hash was also excellent
NJ o Picdyune.
1t is now a vexed question whether
a town should be named after a base
ball club, or vice versa. A town which
won't change its name to honor club
must be stupid place. ce.-Detrott Free
Press.
-California well-diggers have dis
covered trees standing upright at dis
tance of sixty feet below the surface
There are no harvest apples on them
Burlington Hat0k- Eye.
Said Mrs. Gallagher: al think it is
wrong to make these soda fountains so
shiny. white and dazzling. They don't
trouble me, but I've observed that my
husband can never look at one without
winking. brooklyn Eagle.
-"Where are you going, anyhowPf
asked an irate conductor on the Central
Pacific the other day of beat whom
he had kicked off five or six times, but
who always managed to get on again
lust as the train started "Well,'' said
the fellow quietly, ..Im going to Chi
cago, if my pants hold out. - Chicago
Tribune.
JOHNNY said the teacher, "a lie
can be acted as well as told. Now, if
your father was to put sand in his sugar
and sell it, he would be acting lie and
doing very wrong" That's what
mother told him. said Johnny, impetu-
ously. land he said he didn't care. -
Wheeling Journal
"A young lady having .sset her cap"
for rather large specimen of the oppo-
site sex and having failed to win him,
was telling her sorrows to a couple Of
her confidantes when one of them com
forted her with these words: Never
mind. MoIlie, there are as good hsh in
the sea as ever was caught" "Mollie
knows that" replied her little brother,
"but she wants whale. - Exchange.
-"Father,'' began the boy as he
looked up from his First History, ''are
silver mines very freshP' .'Freshl
What do YOU meanP'' why, they have
to put salt on EN- TO make 'em keep,
don't theyP'' what nonsensel Idon't
understand you.'' ..Well, heard some
men in the car say that you salted a
silver mine and made a hundred thou
sand dollars; and / wanted to ask what
the salt was for.' The way that boy
was hustled off to bed made him dream
of cyclones all night VAL Street Ne'cs-
want to buy a muleP" queried a
farmer of country editor. mo; what
the deuce do want of mule?' asked
the astonished paste manipulation
.Well.r replied the granger, Il seed an
item in your paper last week which said
that you wished folks wouldn't talk to
you so much through your tellyfome, as
YOU had only one pair of ears; SO
/ thought I'd fetch down another pair and
then you'd have a team" When the
farmer got outside and dug the paste out
of his left ear he felt thankful that he
wasn't mule.-N y Commercial Ad-
! uertiser.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

"A Christian Rescue Temperance
Union has been incorporated in Brook
lyn, n. Y.
in thirty of the London Board
schools there are penny banks connect
ed with the p0st-office, and about 81 900
was deposited last year by more than
$500 thrifty pupils
The Welsh Presbyterians in the
West have formed a new Synod, en-
bracfng the churches in Missouri, Kan
sas, Iowa and Nebraska. The call among
them is for young men,
of all Protestant Evangelical de-
nominations there are 496 churches in
the city of New York for an estimated
Protestant population of 100000 to 6OO.-
600. The number of missions" is l33,
of which l1S are Protestant.
The Church of England is said to
receive rents from more public houses
than any brewers firm in the country
On the premises of the Archbishop of
Canterbury himself is public house
whose revenues from the sale of liquor
are 100000 a year.
The Mennonites of Manitoba are di-
vided into the Hook-and Eye party and
the Button party. The former are con-
seryatives and see danger in buttons; the
latter are radical and progressive. in
sisting upon the innocence of buttons,
also their convenience and cheapness.--
The Interior.
The Dunkirk On. Y } church case is
at last settled. Judge Barker has deci-
ded that the party adhering to the pres
bytery constitutes the true First Pres
byterian Church of Dunkirk, and is
entitled to the full possession of the
church property. The adherents Of Mr.
Adams, deposed by the preSbytery, have
decided that, though their position IS
right, the courts are against them, and
consequently they will not appeal from
the decision. Chicago Journal.
The school population of Tennessee,
white and colored, numbers 545, S75.
4 The number Of teachers employed is
$3.50; of this number 1883 are colored..
There are 1888 schools for whites and
/ 1870 for colored children. The average
1 daily attendance last year was of 139, 4o9
white children and Al ,046 colored- Tho
public school receipts were sos, l52. H.
There are in the State 1,467 private
schools, with 1,52S teachers, and an
average attendance of 25,S20 pupils
-Afiddlebury College, in Vermont,
has had a present of a silver mine.
Colonel Comins, of Winnemucca. New,
| has conveyed to the College the Rose
Creek Silver Mine, which is in the Sierra
mining district The present value OF
the mine is stated at $4,000, but there
is no telling what it may be worth when
developed The condition attached to
the gift is that the proceeds shall be
used to build hall of science, to bear
the donors name.-N Y. Independent.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
Russian Extraragance.

Warsaw society is still excited over an
exhibition of fantastic extravaganza with
which a number of Russian officers have
recently entertained themselves. Adju-
tant General Count Pillar and Prince
Miianowiez, of the Hussars. conceived
the idea of Roman banquet in the style
of Lucultus, and twenty-six other OIL
GERS united in the novel diversion. The
banquet hal was filed with roses and
perfumed with all the odors of Arabia,
and the feasters arrayed themselves in
Roman togas and wore garlands of roses
on their heads. Swallows nests from
India, wild African pigeons, and ragout
Of nightingales were among the costly
viauds with which they were served.
The banquet lasted eight hours and cost
S21. 900, or $3.50 apiece. This CASTRO
nomical extravaganza has provoked Bit
ter criticism in Warsaw. where it is de-
nounced as a wicked imitation Of the
wanton luxury which preceded the fall
of the Roman Empire, and where It has.
at least, done nothing to make more
agreeable the relations existing between
! the Polish population and the kussiaA
garrison.--Cor. Chicago Times
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
A Birds Nest Imbedaed in Wood.

Yesterday, while an elm tree (Which
had been recently cut down near Drog-
heda, Ireland. was being cut up in the
saw mill of Messrs. Bar a. Shearer, Ar
drossan, the working men came upon a
nest containing six eggs. four of which
were quite intact. The nest was about
four inches by three, and was entirely
composed of fog. 1t was encased in
about nine inches of wood, which proves
that many years must have elapsed since
the nest was formed and subsequently
deserted by the parent bird. Both nest
and eggs were in capital state of pre-
servation and they will be preserved
carefully as a natural curiosity by the
firm in whose premises they were found.
Some months ago q similar discovery
was made in the same yard. Glasgow
(.Sc0tld,sd) Herald.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
A Dolsar's Worth OF Knowledge.


Yesterday afternoon a seedy-looking
intlividua IN winter clothing walked into
a beer saloon on Third Avenue, near
Twenty-lrst Street. He called for
glass Of .German milk" and as the
froth showed its way to the top, he re-
marked TO the bartender This is a
good summer for flies, and l am glad
of it.
The bartender eyed the stranger for
a few seconds, and replied Yaas, It's
a good summer for flies, but why should
you begfad?''
Il Ifiasp my living out of flies" an
swered f@e funny-looking man :. I'm
the maa who can bring flies to life after
they haFe been drowned" The beer
iugglerhad his opinion about the Gus
toner. ssile' s a little off - he exclaimed,
sdlresSHg several young men who dis
PLAYED BIZ shirt collars, and were talking
about Nse-ball matches. The :. fly
iscitS x heeanae~ angry because his
a5ifstfeS nj laughed at - Gimme
glass of water he cried. land L Il show
YOU how quick can bring a fly TO life
after it has been drowned
The glass OF water was produced, and
The man scooped ally with swing of
his hand on the bar. The fly was doused
in the water. He kept it below the sur
face with wooden cigar lighter. twas
fully five minutes before the hy folded
its wings, and bobbed up to the top TO
all appearances dead. The stranger
picked it up gently and placed it on a
.able. while crowd gathered about him.
. You all see. said he, =. that that ere
dy is dead. Now watch me bring him to
ife. Say Bartender, give me some salt -
The salt bottle was handed him, and
ne covered the dead hv with salt and
offered to bet dollar that the fly would
waltz out alive in five minutes The
bet was taken by young man, and the
pile of salt was gazed at intently by
twelve persons. Suddenly there was an
upheavel of the salt, and grains were
scattered about the table. The appar.
emily dead fly struggled through tbs
covering. paused for II moment on the
heap 10 perform its toilet. and then
huzzed toward the lunch counter.
The iiY resuscitator poeketed the dollar
and went out saying: Ia, ia, boys
you can get even on some other fellow
some other day. Now you know how tc
bring drowned fly to life.''
After his departure several flies weic
drowned and resuseitated, and the young
man who paid dollar for this really ole
information went into a neighboring
saloon, and was heard to say - I'll be
dollar that | can drown a fly and bring
it to life
Too late - replied lounger. "a g
tramp Just left here after scooping three
dollars from the boys on that racket. y
~ Y. World
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
Novelties in wedding Music.

A lady traveller just from the South
tells of attending stylish wedding of
colored persons The groom was short,
thin specimen of humanity. the bride
immense and robust. As the pair sailed
up the aisle of the church, with a train
that swept away in the rear like the tail
of a comet, the choir sang with all the
race feryor Broad am de road that
leads to death. to the great amusement
of the few whites privileged to be present.
This, however, is equalled by the ex-
perience of country pastors wife not
far away, who was requested to play a
wedding march at funeral, the mourn
ers knowing no difference between it and
a dirge. AT a recent wedding in Hamp-
shire County the hymn, Sister, thou
vast mild and lovely" was sung as
specially fitting the occasion. Boston
Journal.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-09-15
Being an Editor and MOlding Public
Opinion.

Hundreds have learned that '.moldng
public opinion is a mighty poor busi-
ness. Molding stove lids pays much
better, and dom cause half the wear and
tear on the molder's system. A good
many people think newspaper work is
Just as easy as falling down on ice or
finding a girls lip in the dark. We used
to think so ourself, but that was when
we were a bigger fool than we are now.
We knew a young man once, out West,
who for two years longed for place on
a newspaper as reporter, and at last he
got it. The first day he was required to
report a horse-race, a temperance meet
ing and fire seven miles out of town,
After he had done all this the managing
editor told him he might write a Wash
ington letter, giving summary of the
political situation at the National capital,
and then he could go out and get some
points on the pork market for the next
days paper. He wanted to know how
in the dread future he could write a
Washington letter at point IA miles
from the National capital, and when he
had never been there in his life. The
managing editor coolly replied that eff
he couldn't write letter from any point
IN the known world on fifteen minutes
notice he'd better quit the newspaper
business before he disgraced it. He
resigned that same evening. and went
back to his old counting house stool, and
his old-time independent ten-dollars-a-
week air, and never asked to be a journal
ist again. Some men seem to be born
to do newspaper work, and they will do
it if they have to live on cold hash and
button their coat up to their chin while
their only shirt is in the wash And
they will be just as happy, too, as the
son-in-law of monopolist with a bad
cough. They would never be contented
in any other calling. even ifit paid them
$4,000 ayear and fire-wood. All others
should keep out of the journalistic field.
-nifdLetotOn (N. y. transcript.