Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1882-07-08
SEYsE ND NONSENSE.

T A-NAtN''.
Thaps wha' beats me, as the boy sad
when he saw..his father take the skate strap
down from lis accustomed nail.
The worthiest men a-e most injured iy
ISLANDERS; as we usually find to be the bet
fruit what the birds have been picking a.
\ married lady declined to tell maiden
sitter any of her troubles, saying, "Whcro
ignorance is bliss It's folly to be wise
"Yos," replied the sister and Eve come %
the conclusion that when siDglcness is bis
It's folly to be wives"
Mary Clemmcr says that only.one girl in
FIVE hundred can be happy as 1 clergyman
wife. She tried it aud she d;dnf see cir
Gus for elevenyeara
What is the national fishery questions
pompously exclaimed an osaior; and
squeakirg voice il the audience responded
1T is have YOU got bte?'
Bad boys Boys arc so very, careless ani
impulsive whore theirp.casurcs are concern
ed. Two Brooklyn juveniles were severely
punished last week for stoning their mother
new bonnet, under thc.imprcssiou that .'twaa
wasps nest.
The comet, which was to have been suohe
brilliant object in .the. heavens. this summer,
has evidently secured star engagcmon.
elsewhere Perhaps it became jealous OF Che
sensation caused by the star rou,ers and De
ferrcd its visit to a more opportunescason
few days ago a.caucus Of ,,he.Commar
cial staff unanimously resolved that 'cfery
girl who expects to keep up with the times
should wear clocks on Ler stockings" o.
which the combined {talcnt Of the Boston
Commercial bulletin responds "and tlcu
mark EN- hands or 1t is no intention Of
ours TO second such minute suggestion
She had ordered nothing but vegetable
and was eating them vigorously whcnaliliio
old lady seated next TO hcr-one Of thcse
busy-bodies ever anxious 70 be pleasau
smiled and interrogatiyely said "vegetria
No said the other inquick response, "Uni
tartan I'm from Boston-arcyou Oneoi
those grand old Beethoven laughs witfog'
words went round the table.
Gus De Smith called AT avery fdshionab.3
house on Austin avenue a fcw'days ago, and
acted so queerly that when that lady's hus-
band came. home shesaid What is themat-
ter with youngHDc Smith? lie acted
strangely; think there must be ascrcr
loose about him somewhere" Reckon Dot
sfw him this morning, and be was tgL'
all over"
\ Pagan.-A certain clerk in Westerl
village recently made the following comment
on Pocahontas Said he "Pocahontas
great man; Pocahoutas was kind-hcar'o1
man" Hold onw cried his companioa.
"Pocahontas was n woman" "She wa
eh?7 said he "Well, that's just my luer
How am ! expected TO know? never ra1o
the Bitle." =.
A man cane.intoa. .docior's Office, and sl-
asked by the doctor How do YOU do Do
day p Pretty we'll for me-" And hor
are the old folks 90 Pretty well, consid,r
ing" Anything new in your section
"Wcll, no-nothing very Is'pose you've
hear1'old auaty was dead % "No, I.bego
not. She must haye.disd suddenly -"Well
yes, rather sudden. .for hc-'
Father, you are an avful brave mar
said a:Detroit youth, az he smoothcd down
the old mans eray.locks the other evening
"How do you know that, Willie ?' "Oh.
heard some men down az the store say taa,
you killed thousands Of soldiers during tns
waT" Me? Why, was beef contreei0r
for ihearmy" "Ycs, that's what they said p.
explained young innocence.
"Thc fact is" said the sccdy tramp,
have read so much about the irogblos IN the
labor market thai.I am heartily sick oftbs
whole busines., and | male upmy mind long
ago that would never have anything 10 d9
with labor IS am a man who never Tor
sake8 his principles cannot work: boz II
you have a nice rare steak and q cup Of boz
coffee about She premises, I'll devote a fev
moments 10 thcir demolition
A prominent writer Of q eulogy On comm
bial bliss save IL is often the case when goo
see q great man, like ship, sailing Proa5r
along tie current Of renown, that there Is
little tug-his wiic--whom you cannot se
but Who directing bis movements and lgp
plying the motive power Just imsg
Brigham Young il ..this connection. Itc-o
were enough tugs around himsto have ysn'
ed him along c, the rate Of sixty mile. or
hour
40 +ol play lawn tennis this season, 81.
-" inquired he, last evening "No J
never learned the game. l. it interesting
"Yes, very. You see, theFc are four couris
on each side" THAT Is eight courts, s1s
it? Why, if I had known there was 20 nlei
courtng in the game should have been al
expert by this time" "Oh, ! ASSURE yo5
but you are an expert" There Is 90 use b.
pursuing this scheme further.
He..rg,s Cdrbotfc SdIUc.