The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-09-06
NO. $40
COMIC COMMENTS.

LOADED to the muzzle; Sc What is this
man charged with ?" asked the Judge.
with whisky, your honor" replied the
sententious policeman. Boston Transcript.
Smiles all round: ga piece of genre
painting" remarked Brown, pointing to
drinking scene. 81 should rather call il
demijohnre seene," said Fogg. Boston
Transcript.
Not an angelic disposition Riches
have wings, but the wings ON the young
lady's hat do not necessarily imply fabulous
wealth on the part of the wearer. = Boston
Transcript.
Burglar proof eft this safe invest
ment ~ asked Brown Safe investment"
exclaimed the broker. " | never knew any
body who put his money into il to take it
ont again. y" No,7istown Herald. j
Generously: "What generous man
Jones Is !" said Smith to Robinson one day.
True" said Robinson warmly. . You
rarely find one moro 30 He always gives
himself away. ~ Bosten aIobs s.
Thirst for learning Student A. d. Why
is it that Pumpmaier has Of late 80 regularly
attended his lecturespr Student b 4 Be.
cause that is the only place where his credit
ors do not look for him. ~ Fzegende bat
ter.
Fashion note: A fashion item says
that "Titian-red hair is to be the favorite
shade this season." 1t differs from the poll
titan red. One is worn on the nose and
the other on the head. Nor7fsto,on Herald
Too late: Sitting Bull is credited with
remarking, ina thoughtful manner: "what
pity it is that our forefathers, the noble
sons of the forest, failed to pass an anti
European bill early in the seventeenth cen.
fury. Hartford Courant
Powder explosion A literary man
who had recently published book, was OBJ
served to be very downcast last week.
"What is the matter ?" said a friend, "you
look all broken up" "No WONDER" was
the answer, "rve just been blown up by
magazine. "--Bostoas Post
Last drop in her cup of bitterness: A
young actress had made signal failure in the
first two acts of a comedy. After the third
in which she did not appear, one OF her fell
low actors came up to her with much ardor;
Charming, adorable Your third act quite
redeems the other two !"-F From the French.
"A city medico tells this story. girl.
from Elizabeth Bay came to him with her
mother to be vaccinated and was terribly
nervous about the matter. Just as the doc
tor was going to begin work she threw her
arms around the old lady's neck and sobbed:
g One last kiss, mamma, before the opera
ton lpAnoa.
Vanderbilt item The ceiling of the
drawing room of the Vanderbilt palace in
New York, on which an eminent Paris artist
is now at work, is circular composition
representing the marriage Of Cupid and
Psyche; or, Cupid and Sich," as the old
Commodore would doubtless have expressed
it, Washington Post.
Well turned: traveller reports
clever repartee in the old Cathedralat Santa
kneelng on the bare floor, moaning in
prayer. "Well,n said locker on, " don't
that beat the devil ?" "I guess that's what
they're trying to do" was the quiet reply of
. companion. --Denoer Inter Ocean.
Friendly neighbors: knowing next
week, I presume" said New Haven won,-
an to her neighbor. ''rm sorry you're go.
ing to leave u.s." oh, but we have con-
cluded to stay another year. The landlord
Is going to paper the dining room, and"
Indeed, was the response, and as she drift
ed into the house and slammed the door she
grumbled to herself: 81 was SO in hopes
they were going. "-New Hauen Register.
"A stingy family. "But why did you
leave your last place ~ asked Mrs Brown.
"Och, num-" replied the young person,
with toss of her shapeless head, "they
was that mean that there was no Twin
wild 'em. II you'll behave II, mum, il
was only yesterday that whit Until the
parlor and there was two of the gurruls a.
playin on one peeany and their father rich
enough to buy dozen and never fale itln--
Bostoh Transcript.