The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-12-13
Fun. Fact, and Fiction.

The owner of Il fur-lincd circular con-
siders it reckless extravaganza to keep it
buttoned so tight that one end won't blow
back and show the fur.-Phiddelphid
Chronicle Herald.
"Our young men are coming to the
'front.'" cries political journal. 1t doesn't
look that way at the theatre. Just as many
bald heads in the front rows rs cyer.-Cin-
cinnaG Saturday Night.
HoRsFORD's ACID PHOSPHATE promotes
sleep when the nervous system is over
worked OF worried by care and anxiety.
Some one wants the tax taken of whis-
KEY and put il on cranks, in order 10 in
crease the revenue; but that would be n
bad move. If tacks were put on cranks,
editors couldn't "sit down on EN-
LolceN Citizen.
China. it is thought, is about TO adopt
our railway system. Ii she does IT would
he good idea to get i'm good supply Of
freight brakeman before and-say enough
to last year.-LoreR Citizen.
When Oscar Wilde said that Niagara
Falls was all bulk but no beauty, he had
Just settled with hackman for atwo hours
rde.-RocheSter PoSt-EIpress.
A Pennsylyanian has invented a new
rat-trap with a mirror in one end OF it. Ii
il doesn't catch the rat he guarantees that
il will catch the reelection while the rat is
eating the cheese. -La,Tence american.
Mr.. r. ii. Stratton. GordonsyilIe, says {:
~ have used Browns Iron Bitters in my
family with beneficial results"
An astonishing instance Of rigid adhe-
renee TO belief in superstition il found in
the case OF the woman who desired TO i'm
prove her child's appearance by cutting its
hair, and dccming it unlucky 10 cut hair
bit it or with her teeth. She must have
made that kids head look neat Boston
| Post.
j. q. Brown il painting ga young girl
with very sweet face. seated in the fields.
with hands claspcd in her lap, wrapped in
| happy thoughts" This sort OF wrapping
may DO for summer. but girl needs more
on than happy thoughts can be in winter
Ner Orleans Picayane.
Conversation between a grocer and a Gus.
toner: Three OF those eggs were bad
that you gave me the other morning."
impossible" Nevertheless | say that
| they were stale" "You must have walked
awful slow, then. You couldn't expect
them TO keep all day."-BOSton Courier.
Mr. W. w. Massey. Richmond, Va,
says: " Browns Iron Bitters completely
cured me OF an attack OF yellow iaundice."
A London publication has paper on
THE Emotional Language OF Bees" We
had always supposed the language OF bees
to be very humdrum, though we were
aware that there was generally good deal
of emotion when they began to gesticr-
ate.-BoStOn Transcript.
A travel-Stained tramp was seen sitting
under The protecting @gis OF stone wall
this morning, withanewsp aper in his hand.
Yes" he remarked, sadly, "Herbert is
right; overwork is what's raising the
deuce with us Americans. But rs long As
! live it shall be my endeayor to stand as a
living rcbukc to the spirit Of unrest which
| animates so many OF our people, and which
Is hiding so many OF or young and pro-
missing men in early graves. > Boston
Transcript
Miss Alice Morris, Gordonsville, Va,
says: "Brown's Iron Bitters has cured me
OF several attacks OF neuralgia
There Is grocer in certain small town
in this State who has always been called
the stingiest man in Michigan, and many
stories are ailoat about his breaking crack
ers In two and taking out pnches Of flour
to make exact weight. 1t seems. however.
that he has been harshly judged. A few
days ago he had lot OF cranberries dis
played at the door, and a lady pedestrian
hated and asked?
Are those fresh 20
"Ob, yes"
"How much Il quartz ?"
"Twenty cents, madam"
"That's ten cents for pint, five cents
for gill, TWO and Il half for half gill, one
and three"
"Did you want quart ?"
"Oh, no. l was reading that corns
could be cured by binding on split cram |
berry. l have two corns, and one berry
would answer for both. I'll give YOU
cent for single berry,"
"Very well, take 1t along. Hold on
Let's see, let's see; yes can do It. I'll
throw in an extra berry, madam, and do |
both up in parcel. l am bound to please !
my customers II don't make a cent. "-De-
iron Free Press.