Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-11-16
PHYSICIANS PILLS.
How They are Swallowed by Some
PeopIeyZFirst Patient.

reporter;@we have all kinds of patients,
and many laughable things occur to us
owing to the weaknesses and idiosyn-
craaes of human nature. Why, my
own experience in itself would fill vol
Iume of interesting matter, and / am con-
fident any physician in good practice
could say the same thing of himself"
Il suppose your first case put you ON
your feet, as is often reported"
Yes it did; but you must not imagine
that all doctors can say the same thing,
especially when the patient called to see
is not dangerously i'll, but my case was
certainly an exception to that rule, and
l can assure you | made the most of it..
Mother and l came here together some
years ago, shortly after my graduation,
and as is usual with young physicians |
was none too well off. | hung out my
shingle on cross street near one of our
prominent avenues and waited anxious
ly for business. | had plenty of spare
time on my hands to devote to reading
and building castles in the air, but was
rapidly becoming poorer and l made up
my mind that the first opportunity had !,
especially in dealing with woman. |
would use more blarnev than medicine.
AS good luck would have it one evening
during my absence lady came to the
door and asked to see me. My mother
bless her dear old soul-told the lady
that l would call Immediately upon my
return from visit to another patient.
Mother hunted me up at nv old rendez-
vous, the corner drug store, and bundled
me Oft to see my first patient. You must
rest assured was in f1utter of excite
ment, and imagined my whole future
depended upon the impression l would
make, so l boldly strobe on and walked
up the steps of fine mansion OH
avenue and rung the bell with such force
that the girl in the kitchen frying buck
wheat cakes would drop with fright. The
lady herself, however, answered the
call, and ], in moment of Illustration,
without even thinking of what | had
made up my mind to do, namely,
flatter the first female met in business
told her that a young lady had left
word for me to call. She answered that
she had called and had been waiting
patiently for me. That, sir, was the very
moment when l laid tina foundation of
my business. The lady herself was about
40, painted and powdered and as vain as
peacock, and so you can see where
made the hit. Well, the patient was one
of her children; nothing the matter with
the brat except slight cold, for which
+ prescribed and departed, leaving the
mother in a happy frame of mind.
in holding this family and make out of
them directly from $500 to $500 annually.
my future success dated from that
very night, and the influence of those
people in their circle has brought me a
fine income.
Do you find much difference in the
temperaments Of the sexes?
Indeed I do. l would sooner treat &c
women than one man. Of all patients
men are the worst to handle. They
are so outrageously inconsiderate and
fretful that in many cases it is abject
misery to a physician to remain in the
same room with some Of them, and
how can one say enough in favor Of the
patience and docility of the woman
nurses in the household. Men imagine
they have no right tc be i'll and often
times think there is heltish con,
spiracy on foot to deprive them
Of their lives and that their present
illness has been brought on through it.
Again, a fond mother or wife in their
love and solicitude for the patient will
so enrage him with their many acts of
kindness that the oaths and impreca-
tons hurled at these innocent and loving
creatures is something awful to contem-
template. The women are to blame in
the matter of course for it seems they
cannot understand the temperament OF
a man in sickness, so they take the
abuse without word of reproach.
1 know of a case where a lady petted
her husband with kindness to such an
extent that he flung boot at her. which
she barely lodged by closing the door.
In moment she was back again saying,
"My dear, can GO any thing for your
when he picked up the other boot and
let fly saying ''yes-you, you
can get out of here
for me. Such conduct is certainly rep
rehensible but is, somewhat ex-
cusable in sickness. The only way to
treat man generally, is to act as though
you were in a hurry; feel his pulse, joke
and laugh, get him interested in some
thing, leave a prescription, tell him he
is all right and get out of the house as
soon as possible. You will then leave
him in good humor and he will feel bet
ter if left alone, but oftentimes the con-
founded women will meet you in the
hall, and carry on whispered converse
ton for few minutes and then return
in to thesick room with countenance
mence bothering the patient again with
their Internal Kindness so as about
to drive him to distraction. Women
who are themselves so sensible and rec
onciled in sickness should remember
that they differ very materially from
men and they should accordingly act diff
lerently.
Iwould then imagine that you pre-.
ferred female patients.
I certainly do; they seem to take sick
ness as matter of course and have
oftentimes marvelled at the remarkable
patience they evince in moments-yes
hours-of intense pain. Why it would
throw many of the sufferings of the old
martyrs into the shade.
Do you as rule, find female patients
diffident in making known theit ailments
to physicians.
Very seldom; they are not halfso deli
cate in these matters as men. They
seem to take to it coolly and place entire
confidence in their physician. 1t is moi
often that we find any embarrassment
except in young girls who are oftentimes
extremely and painfully diffident
Women as rule take everything
prescribed and always follow their ply.
sician's orders promptly. Theonly diff
Guilty we encounter in prescribing fol
women is the conduct of many old ladies
| friends of the family. of course-whe
have so much 10 say, SO many sugges-
tions to make with reference to treat
| ment, that we are often annoyed and
handicapped. The physician in THU
| case must hold his own and bull dozt
the old ladies, and so convince the pa
| tient that he is in the right. Men il