New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-01-18
WANTED BOUNDING.
A Fiend in Human Form.

He was q gentlemanly and affable-
looking man who walked into the man
aging editor room of the San Francis
co Post, and quietly took chair until
that accomplished journalist had finished
an editorial with the scissors.
''What can we do for you?'' asked
the editor, finally, replacing the PASTE
brush behind his ear. Haven't brought
in poem on autumn?'' he continued,
frowning suspiciously.
''Not at all, my dear sir,' replied the
stranger, with a smile. Il trust don't
look like a poet. have dropped in to
consult you on a practical business pro-
position
''Ah! an advertisement said the
Journalist, benignantly. Something
in the star adj line, I supposer'
lin certain sense, yes" replied the
business man. II want to know your
best inside rates for hounding.''
'For what?'' asked the writer.
''Why, for bounding. should like
to be thoroughly wel1-hounded in your
paper for the next say three months, if
it didn't come too high.''
''What the dew
''Permit me to EXPLAIN interrupted
the matter-of-fact customer. Il am an
attentive reader of the local papers, and
I notice that whenever man, corpo-
ration, or a monopoly has streak of
luck, or gets to making money rapidly,
the said papers Immediately Jump on
his neck as the saying is, and hound
the successful person or persons as
though he or they we're escaped con-
victs, or something like that
''You mean our blackmail cotempo-
raries?" said the editor, vindictively.
II don't think they blackmail any
body in Particular said the stranger,
thong htfully; ''that is, not nowadays;
the people seem to have dropped to it, >
as the hoodlums say; but that isn't the
point that affects me. The point is that
of course these papers never hound any
body who hasn't got dead loads of coin.
Every body recognizes that fact, and
the result is that the minute they start
in against a man his credit goes right
up.'7
II begin to DROP" said the molder Of
public opinion, scratching his head.
''Why, of course. It's dead sure
proposition; and so it occurred to me,
as my business has been dreadfully bad
this year, that I'd either have to brace
up my credit or 60 under. I've got to
do it or bust. Now if can arrange for
your paper to come out tomorrow after
noon with slashing article accusing
me of being grasping monopolist or a
bloated corruptionist, or something
else rich and comfortable, it would
about fix me up.''
''It's a big idea,'' said the editor,
calmly; land you'd better 90 down and
see the business manager at once. ..pl
write an editorial myself calling atten-
ton to you as bigamist and swindler
of orphans and Widows
''Do so,' exclaimed the far-seeing
business man, as he rose to 60
''Whatever you do, don't spare me,
gentlemen. Give it to me strong. I've
got $12, 900 note to meet on the 18th,
so you must get your work in at once. 5"
''rn attend to it, said the editor,
earnestly. 'I'll work over your early
career myself, and have three or four
affidavits accusing you of bribery and
brutality ready for next Saturday s dou-
BILE sheet. I'll send our most sarcastic
reporter round to interview you, bright
and early Monday morning.
Thanks! thanks!' said the customer,
fervently. II begin to see my way
clear already. God bless your' and he
tripped down stairs with heart full of
hope and encouragement, while the edi-
tor at once set to work on leader enti-
tied "A Fiend in Human Shape.''