New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-11-06
GENLRAL AOIES.

There smoothing sometimes like hitting thenal
the mead. At a recent fire IN Ottoway one sent
telegram to the owner who in Boston, saying
Premises all on fire; what shall do I" The answer
came promptly, Put IL ont"
Some time ago the library Of Cornell Univer.
sty became possessed by viii OF Wisconsin pine.
lands which supposed at the time to be only mod
eratey valuable IL is saii however, that owing 10 the
recent great appreciation Of such properly. these pine
lands are now worth something over S2000,O00 This
VIII be IN addition 10 the S9,OOOOOO that Cornell
pecis 10 realize from the sale OF her scrip pinesads
The same state.
One Of the worst foes of the fishermen OF
Maine has been the prolific doSfsh which, OF value
in ITSELF has been destroyer OF valuable species
But alter many experiments, fish scrap has been
made from it which said to be excellent foo for fowls
and from which useful oil be expressed. leayiaga
residuun OF much value as fertilizer II tho sangne
dscOycrcr of tins process, succeed, IN TRANSFORMING the
dOghsh from curse into blessing he viii deserve well
vi his fcl.Ow-ctizens
A Picking newspaper tells of the sale of
Chinese wife by her husband she had fallen in love
wIth the purchaser, and m husband, wishing realize
some advantage OF this state OF affairs agreed TO
sell her to the gallant for $50. But when he
get b. properly he failed to bring the money with him.
and the husband declared The bargain of. But ths.
lovers were not to b. baked. They drugged the has
band, seized ali bis property and eoped. Ihey wers
aiterward arrested and put INTO dungeons, "Aeh O0A
committed suicide.
A locomotive with a raging wOOd-fre be-
meath tho boiler, dragging a long train up
"a heavy grade near Cofax, Cal, n week or
two ago. when tho wire netting over the
smobe-stacL Instantly stream OF live Goals
shot into the air and fell back upon the thieY
that there was great danger of eOnfagTaton. TAe
conductor stationed brakemen top Of the train and
was hoping to surmount the grade without accident
when on looking over his wayb he discovered to his
horror that the directly behind the locomotive was
loaded with gunpOwder He Immediately uncoupled It,
without alarming the passengers and while the other
cars stood on the grade with the brakes hard on, tho
powder drawn swiftly up the slope ana leit on
side track The engine then returned ana TOOK me resi-
OF the train forward. The conductor charles Lougn-
bridge Is entitled to public credit for his calm courage
and sound Judgment
The ST. Jan.eS'S Gazette says that one of the
great objects OF every Partisan who respects hmseis
to obtain ticket for the first night of new theatrical
pieces-a thing very difficult do unless belongs
irst.c ass club has considerable interest with the
journalistic or theatrical world The GauiOs offers
10 mace al the disposal Of its subscribers certain num-
Der of tickets for each premiere These VIII be drawn
for by lot is done in the clubs, and the drawer OF
ticket will receive 1t gratis. Similar eXpedents TO BRING
in subscribers resOrted TO in this country some
time ago an Ohio journal announced that the admins
ira ion had made agreements with number OF rich
heresees single aud widows who had all engaged not TO
ACCEPT tie haud OF any tut subscribers or at least one
year Of the journal In question.
In The TRIBUNE recently appeared an &C.
count Of young woman in Dakota who advertised o'
husband the characteristic slang Of the Far Ne'1
Another story Of "A similar character comes from this
Wild untrammeled land. An officer Of the 7th CaVaLJ
Regiment at Fort Lincoln, Dakota, received letter
from woman who owned ranch Mandan whsn
IN substance read as follows " Dear SIR Ny man, per
haps yOu know Is dead. Ibaried him Thursday II Is
coming On spring now and am lone woman with
big ranch and the Indians about. don't mind the ID
dams the red devils but have too much work Tor any
woman to do. II yon have any sergeant about TO DC
mustered out or a private If he 10 gOOG Dan, Toul
like 10 nave you in about HIM. L he steady
man, likes work and wants good home VIII n.fay
him, ii think We can get along toSotneF usas0"
chance for any man. Peaso answer
very amusing trial recently came OF III
tho County Court at Brighton England. A dressmsEer
sought to recover from lady the sum OF thirteen e"F
lings for work done In tking dress The defend NJ
testified tlat the plaintiff had spoiled the dress uu
not tit and could he made to H.. on hearing is 'e
plaintiff in an indignant tone. said: ~ did make inc
dress properly, but the lady has no figure whatever
How could l. or any dressmaker. make her LOOK uAo
Venus when she has "A frame ike a cothes-sorse'
After the laughter had Subsidei, the defendant ca
claimed: "That f. false: have good figure; my n~'
band Ia in court ask him" The Judge did not do TINS
but decided that the dress should be tried on; ana '
defendant, re ring private room to pa, ss
sent back word THAI she looked 50 badly III II n hy
could not come Into court again. IN lulse pre- me-
took fhs view OF the ease; Tor after seeing ti hst
ment he came ont ana gave Verilct TOT INC "e'0"
Many amusing stories are told of the way ID
which Cinnamon give evidence in Christian courts
lnstice In England Il custom 20 break uenea
china saucer over the head Of the Chinese wlthess ~
this IA supposed TO insure truth-telling There vas
Chinese witness In a trial which was recently neu
san Francisco. The judge, evidently not being ~ w..
satisfied that the witness understood the op)ee' 49,
form he had just gone through asked him. a. 10
.nnAf hA
Perfectly" replied the witness with the utmost oO.
dence; know that II tell lie every one In the oou
will be damned" An equally amusing ILLUSTRATORS
the ignor ance Of the Chinese in the matter oil our
oath was furnished time by the native be
the Consular Court at SHANGHAI. He was ara
makng an an xous search for some missing oDect ss
on being questioned by Judge, he sta cd tha' p vii
looking Tor the little book which IL gwen 70 tnSseu
nesses 10 smell Aud this man had been TOR o's"
years usher OF tho court /!