The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1882-08-12
Ada,.,'sI Dl ary.

I found it in an old chest I bought a
an auction; that is where the ..missine
/ link" will doubtless turn up some day
and it is just possible that the s.los
pleiad" was knocked down by an auction
eer's hammer. would not excavate the
ruins of Pompeii, or dig Ger Babylon
or Balbec, or delve in Indian mounds
I'd just haunt auction rooms, and il you
wanted any of Noah's old traps or Solo
mons faded splendors, I'd trot 'em out
for you.
Yes, found Adams diary among q
| lot of other antediluvian specimens in the
old chest It is queer piese of manu-
| script and appears quite certainly to be
| written on snake skin. In fact, it is ev-
| ident from his language, which. like that
of Truthful James, is plain, that Adam
| went for the snakes liyelyzsfter Eve got
so woefully taken in by one, as he starts
out boldly on them in the very first lines
of his diary, which easily read as fol-
/ lows:
''Third day-Out of the Garden. Got
another one of them snakes; darn their
skins, Tn lookin' out for 'em now.
Fourth day-Funny sort of world
this is anyway: that bumblebee has got
its eyes at one end and teeth at the
other. / never heard of such a thing;
just look at my thumb.
Fifth day-Here comes Eve, I'll hide
the book; I've had some experience about
her curiosity. There, she's gone again,
and I'll write until she comes back She's
gone for more. I wonder what it is.
Well, I've got to name all these things
any way, so I'll just call it honey, and
this bundle of holes I'll call honeycomb.
Eve says the bees make it down there in
the rocks. Here she comes with more.
Bless her heart, she's always bringing in
something sweet. I'll hide the book"
Seventh day--Eve's got to stop this
climbing trees; she'll tumble out some
day and leave me widower, and I'm
afraid after that apple business I'd not
get another. Making me success; max
ing her turned out kind of failure any
way; she's real comfort and she some
times makes me feel that we gained more
than we lost No, woman wasn't made
to climb. Her toe-nails arn't tough
enough.
sNinth day-Had some rhinoceros for
dinner to-day. He went pretty nice with
string beans. Eve is first-class on a
roast. Fresh elephant goes best, with
peas, of anything know of. I'm laying
for that hippopotamus down there in the
creek. I think he'll make good steaks
for breakfast"
Eleventh day-Kinder lost my reck-
oning on this diary business, bein' SO
long since I wrote anything. Awful
weather; never saw such times before;
water all hard as a rock. and it keeps one
busy shoveling off this white stuff that
l10I c& Gaa &1~ r
first thought the angels were all shedding
their pin-feathers snd down. but / see
it's something the matter with the rain.
It must be the cold weather that hardens
the water this way"
'sThree hundredth day-Eve says we
must call him Cain. Very appropriate
name; I'll cain him before he's three
days older if he don't stop this squawk-
ing. Snakes alive, l don't know about
this thing l can hear that youngster
cry all the way down to the barn.
X Il
"'Ten years 6tin' the briars. Well,
I'm gittin' along pretty comfortable now;
lifted the mortgage on my farm, and
have invested in some good stock and
bonds. How them youngsters fight. /
don't altogether know about that chap
that's runnin' that bank; it is always
smells of sulphur down there. Seems to
me used to see them skulkin' around
in the Garden of Eden. At any rate,
he's got all my money on deposit in his
bank.
Eleven years scratchln' it out on this
line-if it takes all summer. Bank
bursted and the internal rascal gone
with all nv money"
This calamity seems to have over
whelmed poor Adam and left the other
pages of his diary blank. III Detroit Free
Press.