Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1882-08-01


At wicked men and sin;
These are as nsught. for now hear
The must: VI his chin.
PREHT1EST OF THREE.
Nearly sixty years ago there died in
Upper Hungary an eccentric old judge
who had invented a very singular means
of getting himself talked about for a
long time after his death.
He had three nieces-Hermiue, Jose.
phine and AgneS-all of whom, during
his lifetime, were celebrated throughout
the country for their beauty. Each OF
them often went to see her uncle, and
invariably terminated her visit with this
question::
"Well, dear unc.e, if you ever die,
won't You leave NE your great big
honse?'
Certainly, my little darling, you may
he sure of that!' the uncle not less inva
riably replied to each of those who put
the question; and he laughed in mis-
sleeve at these reiterated questions,
which never made him angry. in spite of
their very selfish character. One would
even have sworn that the idea of death
seemed quite agreeable to him-so de-
lighted was he with the prospect of
playing a certain practical joke, that be
doubtless hoped to laugh about it in the
other world.
Well, at last, when they opened his
will, they found therein a clause thus
framed:
II leave my two-story house to 1.-The
L., <.f, am
How would you like to be the executor
/ such case ~ that!
The Judgment OF Paris, as everybody
knows. provoked ten years war; and,
nevertheless, it was merely about an APP
PIE which three goddesses were disputing
the right to claim. Imagine, then, what
would have happened if tSO-st0ry
house had been III dispute!
II must be confessed that the legal
question in this case was'as ticklish as It
WIS norsi.
Who was the haudsomsst of tho three
girls!
10 prove the thing by witnesses was
not to DO dreamed of for moment, IN
asmuch IA each of the three fair claim
ants could have brought forward hun
dreds of adOrers, suitors, dancers, trOu-
badours, aspirants, and other human or
naments Of all GarrisOp-towns.
Everybody knew how slender Her
mines waist was-what magnificent
pIaits of hair she had, black as crows
wing--and what Respondent eyes she
had. Everybody also knew JOsephine's
fair face, the silky ringlets of her beau-
tiful blonde hair, and the delicacy of her
hands. Everybody also knew what a
wealth of rich chestnut hair Agnes had,
what dimples there were in her checks,
what exquisite rows of pearls cleaned
in her little uloutt-and, above ell, what
a smile she possessed!
But abysscs of difficulty yawned be-
tween this knowledge and the capacity
Of giving the palm to any one of the
beauties; they were all SO handsomc! 1t
was possible, therefore, only to confide
the decision to the lawyers, and leave
them to fight it out.
This new Trojan war accordingly
commenced-with ink and stamped
foolscap. Blu. what proof could the
claimants furnish? Upon what argu-
ments could Il lawyer base his plan! Tne
proof direct was impossibie-the ques-
ton had to DO got around somehow; 1t
Was less important FOR tho lawyers to
prove that her two rivals were u2lier
than she.
All! what charming-what delicious
law suit that was. 1t WAS worth while
10 have seen how all the most innocent
and even the most my sterious articles of
woman's toilet we're ruthlessly dragged
into the light of publicity!
Hermine's lawyer opened fire with the
insinuation that Josephine put rouge on
her face; but the accuser was IN this case
COMPOUNDED, as 1t was con-
shown by experts whom the
Judge himself appointed that Jose
phins's cheeks were naturally rosy, and
that she had not the slightest need to
borrow complexion from rouge.
Oh! then came the tug of war. All
fOrb ,arance ceased; and reports were
gwen with unantic,pated rapidity. Her
m,ne was accused OF having detormed
waist and of wearing q corset to conceal
il; the experts proved that the corset was
Then came Agnes's turn.
she was vehemently suspected OF limp
ing with her right foot, 30 that she mad
to wear Il faise sole in her shoe; they
even went 40 far AZ to assert that her
hair was not all her own! What they did
NOT imagine at that trial, 1t would be
hard to say.
OF course, all this caused much waste
Of time; but the articles of the lawyers
prolonged the situation oven beyond all
At one moment-just when
they were about to determine u very I'M
portant point, Josephine's lawyer de-
handed that the case be adjourned. as
his client n suffering from infiamma-
ton in her cheek, which made it almost
for her to open her mouth.
time an adjournment was solic-
tied by Her.nine's counsel, who said that
his client had such cold III her hepd
III II she couldn't speak.
To these physical assaults succeeded
moral assaults upon the three beauties.
One was sarcastic; another ungrateful;
another had bad manners. This one was
obstinate; that one had q venOmous
toneus--nnd how could woman be
beautiful if her beauty be attenuated by
cunceit or ill-temper!
Then came the long procession OF wit
nesses-Sarah, Catherine. Annette, uiia,
Clara and many others, including ser
want Girls, cooks or chambermnids who
had been discharged, and who all de-
lchtedly swore that their mistresses
we're absolutely insufferable during at
least eighteen hours out Of the twenty
four-tnat they spent most Of their time
Worrying unfortunate servants 70 death
land that any one who had dropped in
ON them unexpectedly at such moments
would have bsen SO horrified aud dis
gusted that be would never have wished
"a see them again. But. on tho other
hand, Elizabeth and Nathalia. witnessed
for the defense, summoned BY ono OF
the plaintiffs, swore that her mistress
vas always, even in her domestic priya-
cy. the most adorable beauty in the
whole world.
So the trial ran for six long years,
without the prospect Of settlement, even
by the thickness Of hair, while a lost
tooth occasionally falling into the scales
Of Justice caused them alternately to
balance little moro this way or that
wny by turns. AT last the Judge himself
took occasion to explain TO the adversa-
RES that it would be great deal bcster
for them 70 make some settlement
among themselves and live thcnccforth
in peace.
Most excellent idea, NO doubt.
Il Is an easy matter 70 advise the Eng
l..l, e. l,~> vv,sSu Cnnd feFuna with the