davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05
The Lawyers Trade.

$50 1 am doomedp" said the client,
just found guilty of murder in the first
degree and condemned to be hanged.
GuiltyP Hangedp" howled the law
year. "What are you talking about
Evidently you have never been tried be-
fore for murder"
"No," said the prisoner; "this is my
irst offense."
"Why, man," said the lawyer, "the
thing has but Just commenced. Being
found guilty is now by the law consid-
cred only the preliminary stage of a
criminal trial"
"But what will you do nowP"
"DoP You have twelve or fourteen
chances for life," said the lawyer.
First-Application for a new trial.
Second-Stay of proceedings.
"Third-We shall find some new wit
resses who will prove that you are quite
another man as compared with what
you were when you committed the deed.
Fourth-There are forty-fve excep-
tons to the rulings of the court.
Fifth-If these fail we shall clap on
a certiorari.
Sixth-If that fails we shall try the
old habeas corpus.
Seventh-Then there is the insanity
dodge. That opens new field alto
gether for saving your neck. We can
make you insane. | have in reserve a
corps of experts who can make any,
body out insane. Sentence you to the
asylum, you know, for life, and let you
out by the back door in less than year,
when the public has forgotten all about
the case.
MULTIPLICATION the Executive for
pardon.
Tenth-The writs in reserve.
There's the writ of corporations auro-
ra borealis Do you understand Latin"
Prisoner Not Latin
Lawyer-"If that fails there's the
writ of pulcherimus amo masculinibus,
which means it is sin, anyway, to hang
lovable white man-like yourself.
Then there's the writ of nil desperan-
dunn in quandary, which means any port
in storm. SeeP"
Prisoner-'I don't see exactly. But
1 know you must be learned man, and
| know there's heap of power in them
there writs. How muchP"
Lawyer-"Well, it costs heavily to
get them out, especially those last
named, for they are the choice and fancy
varieties. A thousand dollars will
smooth things and procrastinate the
gallows for the present"
Prisoner-''Judge $500 is all l can
raise just now. Won't that answerP"
Lawyer-"For half the time mention
ed, yes. You are saved for six months. 3"
IN. Y. Graphic.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05
USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE.

In Germany during the slippery
season temporary calks are used for
horse shoes. Two sharp-pointed studs
an inch long are screwed into holes left
in the shoes, and when the horse enters
tie stable they are taken out and but
ton screwed into their place, thereby
preventing all damage to the horse and
keeping the screw holes from filling.
Cultivate frogs, toads and lizards.
Put them in your gardens, and as the
evening approaches they will hop from
their hiding p aces and snuggle down
in some convenient spot near the gutter,
or where they know there will be plenty
OF food. The ants, reaches, mosquitoes,
ETC., they consume in the night is mar
Vicious, and thus they keep down the
insect pests.
1t is said, and we see no reason to
doubt it, that if cucumber vine is
trained to run up a stake on which a
few stubs OF limbs have been left along
its whole length, the crop will be enor-
nous. By this plan the vines not only
occupy less space but are afforded OPP
portunity to follow their natural habit
of climbing up, instead of running on
the ground.-M. Y Heraid.
--Vermin on fowls and about hen
roosts will leave headquarters by inject
ing from a syringe weak steep in water
OF pennyroyal herb tea. Drive this weak
steep thoroughly over the roosts and the
poultry and it will cleanse them from
lice Several varieties of flies an
noy and suck blood from horses and
other animals. Pennyroyal steep will
drive them away if the animal is washed
with it.-Anlericdn CulttUGtOr.
Dreamed Cabbage: Slice as for cold
slaw, and stew in covered saucepan
till tender; drain it, return to sauce
pan, add gill or more of rich cream,
one ounce of butter, pepper and salt to
taste; let simmer two or three minutes,
then serve. Milk may be used by add
ing little more butter; or have a deep
spider hot, put in the sliced cabbage.
pour quickly over it pint of boiling
water, cover close and cook for ten min
utes, then pour off water, and add half
pint of rich milk. When the milk
boils stir in teaspoonful of -four moist
ened with little milk; season, cook a
moment and serve. Chicago Journal.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05
Physical Perfection,

You can be made strong in all your parts
You can strengthen the digestive organs, cure
OF constipation and diarrhea. You can
strengthen the urinary system and cure all
such symptoms Of weakness as bad Dreams
milky urine, etc. You can strengthen the
nervous system and rid yourself of that ex-
treme feeling of debility. You can strengthen
your mental faculties and improve your men,
DRY. You can strengthen your muscular sys-
tenn and increase your power of endurance
In word, you can be an example of physical
perfection If you desire, by using scientific
Juniper, Buchu, Iron, Celery and Caisaya, all
OF which ingredients enter into the compost
tion Of DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsa-
parilla, and makes 1t Natures best assistant
IN curing all forms Of organic diseases, enti-
Ting 1t to be called the Queen OF all health Re-
uewers, and a perfect blood purifier.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, WIN
send DIR. Dyes celebrated Electro oltaic
Belts and Appliances, on trial for thirty DAYS,
to men young or old) who are afflicted with
nervous debility, lost vitality and kindred
troubles, guaranteeing complete restoration
of vitality and manhood Address as above.
N. B.-No risk is incurred, as thirty days
trial Is allowed
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

A SLEEPER is one who sleeps. A sleeper is
that in which the sleeper sleeps. A sleeper is
that on which the sleeper which carries the
sleeper while he sleeps runs. Therefore while
the sleeper sleeps in the sleeper the sleeper
carries the sleeper over the sleeper under the
sleeper until the sleeper which carries the
sleeper jumps off the sleeper and wakes the
sleeper in the sleeper by striking the sleeper
under the sleeper, and there is no sleeper in
the sleeper on the sleeper.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

*x*"Slow and steady wins the racer
Steadily, but not slowly, Kidney Wort is dis
tancing all competition for universal populari-
ty and usefulness. This celebrated remedy
can now be obtained in the usual dry vegeta-
bic form, or in liquid form. 1t is put up in
the latter way for the especial convenience OF
those who cannot readily prepare it 1t will
be found very concentrated and will act with
equal efficiency in either form. Read adyer-
tisement.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

WHO has not seen the fair, fresh young girl
transformed in few months into the pale,
haggard, dispirited woman! The sparkling
eyes are dimmed, and the ringing laugh heard
no more. Too often the causes are disorl ers
OF the system which DR.. Pierce's "Favorite
Prescription" would remedy in a short time.
Remember, that the "Favorte Prescription"
will unfailingly cure all female weaknesses"
and restore health and beauty. By all drug
gists. Send three stamps for DIR. Pierce's treat
Use on Diseases of Women COG pages). AdGkess
WORLDS MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, N Y.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

There has recently been discovered
in the County of Lanark, Ont, a pillar
of granite fully seventy-five feet in
height, and tapering to point at the
top, which originally formed part of the
cliff near the shore of Christy Lake, but
by some CONFUSION was displaced and
remained standing upon its end, twenty
feet from the bluff. 1t has a base of
twenty-five square miles.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

A MINISTER writes: "From hard study and
close application TO the duties of protractei
revival, my health suffered severely took
a vacation and tried to win back health and
strength, but / seemed to be sinking into a
state Of general weakness and prostration. A
friend presented me with bottle OF Dr. Guy
sott's Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla. It's
effect has been wonderful, and although de-
cline having my name published will speak
a good word for this medicine at every oppor.
tunity.n
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05
A Losin z Joke,

A prominent physician of Pittsburgh said
iokingly to lady patient who was complain
ing of her continued i'll health, and of his in
ability to cure her, "try Hop Bitters ~ The
lady took 1t in earnest and used the Bitters,
She now laughs at the doctor for his Joke but
he is not so well pleased with it, as it cost
him good tient.-HdrriSburg Patriot.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

If you feel dull, drowsy, debilitated, have
frequent headache, mouth tastes bad, poor
appetite, tongue coated, you are suffering from
torpid liver or "biliousness" Nothing will
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.h By all
druggists.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

GLOW sENsIBLY your little boy talks !" ex-
claimed Mrs. Smith. Yes" replied Mrs.
Brown; "he hasn't been among company yet"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

TEACHERS wanted for fall and winter va
cancies; Address, with stamp for application
form, Teachers Agency, Cincinnati, D.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

II maiden says she is twenty yet looks
fifty, add the figures together, divide by two,
and you will aver age
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

In some respects the genter sex far sur
passes us. No man, for instance can deliver
lecture with dozen pins in his mouth
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05
The Bilious,

dyspeptie or constipated, should address, with
two stamps for pamphlet WoRLD's DIsPEN-
sARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

"IHAvs fresh cold" said gentleman to
his acquaintance "Why do you have fresh
one9 Why don't you have it cureil"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

"DoN'T put in no muskeeter nettin' for
me-" said Aunt Hannah. ~ don't want to
breathe no strained air. "-BoSton transcript.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

STRAIGHTEN your old boots and shoes with
Lyons Patent Heel Stiffeners, and wear them
again. Sold by shoe and hardware dealers.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

CALL me an octagonl said Mrs Parting
ton; why, the next thing you will call me a
centurion, relic OF antipathy, and send me
to the next imposition.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

"A Florida man has trained horse
fly to draw little cart, and he wants a
Government pension for having assisted
70 develop the country
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

No YOU don't; you must pay as you go"
exclaimed the landlord, as he caught an i'm
pecunious boarder trying to skip away.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

WHEN his cousin Annie got angry and told
OF the alleged mean way in which he had
treated her, Fogg simply remarked that 1t was
an Annie mad version, and he had nothing to
say.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

lfs Make your old things look like new by
using the Diamond Dyes and you will be happy
Any OF the fashionable colors for 10 cents.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

Rev. DR.. BoGGs believes in church debts.
because, he says, they increase the interest.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

WHAT constitutes a revolution of the
earthl First comes the spring, then the
summer set and the fall. Needless to go win
ter further details.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

FLIES, reaches, ants, bed-bugs, rats mice,
crows, cleared out by Rough on Rats" 15c.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

USE Redding's Russia Salve in the house and
use Redding's Russia Salve in the stable. Try it,
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

SKINNY MEN. "Wells' Health Renewer'' re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia 81.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

A CAREFUL man will never attempt to sit
down at table when the chair is not there.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

JAPANESE and other designs. plain and fancy al.
phabets, practical articles recipes, &c, in Haneys
Journal for Painters, monthly, e5 cts year. JESSR
HANEY CO.. lie Nassau st.. N Y.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

The proprietor of this celebrated medicine
Justly claims for it superiority over all rem
edies ever offered to the public for the SAFE,
CERTAIN, SPEEDY and PERMANENT cure
ofAgue and Fever, or Chills and Fever, wheth-
er of short or long standing. He refers to the
entire Western and Southern country to bear
him testimony to the truth Of the assertion
that in no case whatever will it fail to cure II
the directions are strictly followed and carried
out. In great many cases single dose has
been sufficient for a cure, and whole families
have been cured by single bottle with a per-
feet restoration Of the general health 1t is,
however, prudent, and in every case more cer-
tain to cure, if its use is continued in smaller
doses for week or two after the disease has
been checked, more especially in difficult and
long standing cases. Usually this medicine
will not require any aid to keep the bowels in
good order. Should the patient, however, re-
quire cathar tic medicine. after having aken
three or four doses of the Tonic. sing 9 dose
Of BULLS VEGETABLE FAMILY PILLS
will be sufficient.
The genuine SMITHS TONIC SYRUP must
have DRJ0HN BULLS private lamp on each
bottle. DR.. JOHN BULL only has the right to
manufacture and sell the original JOHN J.
SMITHS TONIC SYRUP, Of Louisville, KY.
Examine well the label on each bottle. If my
private stamp IL not on each bottle do not
purchase, or you will be deceived.
DIR. JOHN BULL,
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

three sizes) for animal iiesh. Try bottle.
As these cuts indicate, the Oil is used sue
cessfully for all dis Eases of the human, fOc
and animal feSh. Shake well before using.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

Principal Orlcp. ss1 Main ST.. LOUSY
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

% claim tits withoutan equal.
IL Is put up IN bottles of three
lslzes, and all we ask is that
lyOu give it a fair trial. Femem-
bering thatthe Oil putup with
white wrapper tsmalD is for
human and fowl flesh, and
that with yellow wrapper
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-05

or 4. t1fl per day at home. Samples worth SIS
W W eLU Tree Address SIIssoN Co. Portland, Me.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-04-27

A VALUABLE WoRK.-We have a large supply OF
Dr. KendalIs book, The Horse and His Diseases, y
ono of the most valuable works for farmers to be
found. 1t is book of 100 pages, containing ustra-
tons showing the appearance of the horse in every
disease or ailment to which he is subject, and by
which any person tell what complaint is affect
ing sick horse. 1t also contains directions for the
treatment of all diseases, and recipes for making all
kinds of medicines used in treating horses.
We have copies of the work in English, German,
and French. Every subscriber of the Chief who has
already paid in advance, or who may hereafter pay
in advance, will be presented with copy Of this
book, in the language he prefers by calling at the
Office and applying for it, or sending three cent
postage stamp to have it mailed to him. Persons
not subscribers. can procure copies for IS cents.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-04-27
Town POiutUfems

The heaviest rain for some seven or eight years,
fell south Of here, two three miles, on last Friday
Bridges were washed ont, corn that had been plant
ed washed out of the ground, and out Of the
field, and other damage was done. At this place,
the rain was not near go heavy az it was mile OF
two south. Old settlers say they never saw Indian
Creek so high it from this rain. The railroad
switch at Mr. Gutbrie's, below this place. was almost
entirely ruined by the Indian Greek tear"
A little row in town, last Saturday, between two
young men from the country. Cause--too much Of
Wiedemeiers beer secured from the den he keeps at
this place. Result-one of them arrested, and fined
81 and costs.
viii. Garner returned, last week, from g two
months look through Nebraska, trying to find bet
ter place than Doniphan County, swearing he would
not give twenty in the hills west of Iowa Point
for n whole section in Nebraska
Two or three hundred head of cattle were sent to
the Kickapoo Reserve, Brown County, last week, by
the farmers near here, to be heIded, this Summer
J. =. Fornan was up, last Thursday, establishing
the centre Of section r. township range 49,
three miles south Of town.
For full, complete, unvarnishsd directions how to
get wife, let all unmarried young men, bachelors
widowers, &c, apply to Stephen Pryor, of Moore
block, Iowa Point. Charges reasonable. Office
hours, from 9 to Il, p.
Sunday school commenced at Martins school
house, last Sunday, with Mr.. Mullens, of Highland
University, Superintendent, and Misc Mollis Fish,
Secretary.
DR.. Pierce expects his wife and family to arrive
from Indiana, this week, and has rented Cal BalIs
house for a residence, this Summer.
o. s. Ball, owner Of the Iowa Point mills failing
to suitably rent them, has concluded to run than
himself and has employed Orrin Ball for miller
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-04-27
ASTRONOMICAL NOTES.
Planets in May.

These calculations made from tables given in
the Nautical Almanac, and are calculated for the
meridian passing through the centre of this County
MERCURY
is in superior conjunction with the sun, the first
day of the month"; being then at nearly his greatest
distance from the earth. On the Cd, he is at his
ascending node, the point where he crosses the
earths orbit On the 4th he is close to the araway
world, Neptune He reaches his perihelOn on the
9TH, and is % ly north OF Jupiter at 9, H. on the
18th Five days later he is 8 80 north of the new
moon, when the moon will point out the position of
the faint tvinkler On the 3Oth, Mercury is only %
minutes Of degree north of Venus, at about p m.
VENUS
is evening star, and is now as bright as her neigh
bors Jupiter and Sirius. On the 9Th, at nearly 1879,
q. H. this lovely star passes Il L 49, north of the
colossal Jupiter. Both planets set about an hour
and half after the sun, on this day, and if the
evening is clear this will be very interesting pic
ture, even to the naked-eye observer. Venus is p
40T north Of the new moon, on the 18th. Star and
crescent will be lovely. On the 18th, Venus is in
perihelion. Her conjunction with Mercury, on the
Both, has been mentioned. On the 18th, Venus
crossed our meridian at l:24, p. IN.
is evening star but is no interesting than his
nelghbOrs, Castor and fOluX, 10 tne naked eye OD-
server He is growing very faint, he hurls on TO
aphelion, which he reaches on the 4th. Mars is
near the moon the I'D, and crossed the meridian
at i:53, on the 18th.
is evening star until the 3Oth of this month when he
in conjunction with the Jupiter is far away,
but his satellites may yet be seen with good opera
glass. His disc now 30 seconds Of degree
in diameter. Jupiter is very close to the moon on
the 18th, but as they both only about s. above
the horizon at sunset, it will be extremely difficult
to find either. Jupiter will be in conjunction with
the sun the 30th when he will be about $50 600
miles from the earth-a distance which imagina-
ton fails to picture. On the 18th, Jupiter is only
forty-one minutes behind the sun.
comes into conjunction with the the 9th, af-
ter which time he will go on the list as morning
star. On that day, his distance from US will be
very great, and his disc will measure only IA
onds of minute in diameter.
THE MOON
fuls the Sd, and is in conjunction with Adebaran
on the 18th PolluI, on 2lst; Spica, 18th, when
the moon will pass 10 TO- south Sirius, Goth Pro-
cyon, 2lst; CapeIla 18th Rigel, 49, Arcturus, 3Oth
Beta scorpii, beautiful star of the second magni
tude, 4th; the will pass So minutes of degree
south. p. L. g.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-04-27
white CIoud Ir.,..

Mr.. Joseph Howe. the boss carpenter of the Bridge
Gang, Of the A & n. R. R., went on q visit to hil
home, on the evening Of the 18th inst and Mr. Geo.
W. Beidleman is acting in his place. until his return
10 duty.
Mr.. z. B. Thompson. of New York, has taken the
position Of telegraph operator at the A. & n. K Z.
Station in this place. left vacant by the resignation
Of Y. W. Benedict. Mr.. Thompson ia q steady and
reliable young man, and glad to notice his &C
ceptanee of the Office.
The farmers hereabouts are busy blowing, and
getting ready to plant q large crop of corn, this
spring
Mr.. A. R. spsulding, wife and family, and Mr.
Enoch spsulding wife and family left this place for
their new home in Irwin, Gunnison Co., Colorado,
the evening of the 18th inst. We wish them all
safe and pleasant journey to their home in the
far West. large number Of friends and relatives
gathered ct the station, to them off, and to give
them their best wishes. Mr.. Al Spsulding il Q SON
in-law Of Mr.. p. Dunlesvy, of the Farmers' House.
Mr.. Jerry Swartz also went with the Spauldings to
Irwin.
We understand that the city fathers ct their next
meeting, are going to pas ordinance restraining
hogs from roaming at large through the streets of
the city, and along the public highways We won.
der il they mean that Billy goat, which is verita-
BILE nuisance, stopping ladies from crossing the
sreets and that old gray horse that goes all around
nibbling the blue grass, and tearing the fences
down.
We noticed Mr.. Brorius, the efficient Agent Of
the Great Nemaha Agency, on our streets, last Fri
day.
DR.. Z. @. Pugsley Is erecting an addition to his
house. and when finished, will have q very fine resi-
dence.
One day last week, as We were passing along, we
noticed the City fathers viewing that dilspidated
fence around the cemetery, and we hoped that they
would fix the fence, to exclude the hogs and
pigs from roofing up the graves of our lost ones.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-04-27
The Topeka Daily CAPITAL.

Kansas has been in the growth and present prosper
ity Of the Daily Capital Starting with five column
evening paper, it has grown to metropolitan proper
TONS and is the largest daily in the State, and
published every day in the year. strong stock
company was formed to build up q large frstclass
daily at the Capital of the State. The company oc
cupies three floors, each 251l3O feet. The engine
ROOM press room, job department and book bindery,
news room, editorial room, and business Office are
each and all most completely fitted up for the best of
work. Every department is thoroughly and syste-
matically organized; and taken all in ALL it is of
the most complete newspaper establishments in the
West.
The Daily and Weekly Capital are both splendid
specimens of newspaper enterprise, and worthy the
fine support now extended to them throughout the
SfafA