Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1882-06-07
A RAILROAD PASS.
A Model Application From the
Rural Editor.

b"'herdhR, DiiI aye, u now pre-
pairing n letter writer which, he
evidently means shall be of practi.
| cal benefit tn his journalistic brrih
rem. lie SAYS: Our first letter
will he in the form that should he
used in addressing "A soulless cor
poration relative to n pass:
OFFICE OF FREyN.S's BrGLE HoRx, !
Wahoo, Neb., Feb. ~, ls-l. (
To Hon. j. q. Gall. general pas
sengcr aud ticket agent, j. !. NJ.
&. r. o. w. X. r., Chicago, H.:
! have addressed you at this mo
mcnt for the purpose of ascertain
ing your mental convictions rela
tive to an annual pass over your
vOluptuous line. Ii will occur to
you instantly that, with the enor
nous power in my hands, some
thing should I've done at once to
muzzle and suhsidize me. The
Buglc Horn stands upon the pin.
nacle Of pure and un,arnishrd in.
/ dependence. Her clarion notes are
ever heard above the din ot war
and iii favor of tho pour, the down.
tr"iden and oppressed. Still it is
my sole duty tn foster aud encour.
age n few poor and deserving mon.
opolirs. | have already taken
your road and, 80 to speak, placed
il upon it's feet. Tine aud again
have nncioscd my eyes TO unplras
ant facts relative to your line, be
canse | did not wish to crush
Young and groNi ing Industry. Last
fall you had washout down 10
Jimtown, which WAS Ciiminally in.
excn>able in its character. but |
passed silently over the occurrence
in order that you might redeem
yourself. One of your conductors.
AN over grown, bald.hraded pelican
from Laramie, u man of no literary
ability, and who could not write "A
poem to save his measly polluted
soul from perdition, once started
the train out ut Wahoo when | was
within one quarter of mile of the
depot, and lett me gazing thought.
fully down the track with 100
pound hand trunk tn carry back
home with me. Another time,
when my pass and pocket had
expired at about the same moment,
and | undertook to travel on my
voluptuous shape, red headed
conductor whose soul has never
walked upon the sunlIt hills of
potent genius, caught me by the
bosom Of my pants and forcihly
elected me from the train while il
was in motion, and with such yigor
and enthusiasm that | rolled down
an emlmnkment one hundred feet
with frightiul rnpi'lity and loss OF
life. A large hottie Of tRnsey and
sweet spirit hear,my prayer, which
| had concealed about- my person
to keep of malarin and rattle.
snakes, was frightfnlly crushed and
segregated. Besides all this my
feelings, were hurt and outraged.
and 80 was the poriico of my
pantaloOns. | hushcd these mat.
ters up. ! kept them ont of the
papers 20 far as possible in order
that your sonIlrs, corporation might
have new lease OF life. now
AJAX you whether, in view Of this,
yOn will or will not stand in the
pathway Of yonr company's success 7
Will you refuse me a pass and call
down npon yourself the avalanche
of my bnrniDG wrath, or will you
grant me an annual. and open np
snch an area Of prosperity for the
j. |. VI. G. r. o. W. railroad IA il
never before knewf Do yon want
the aid snd encouragement Of the
Bugie Horn and success, OF do you
want its opposition and n I,aul~r's
grave beneath the blue-eyed John.
nv jumpups in the vallpyf Should