Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-12-02
4 BATCH OF JOKES.
WHAT THE HJHOROU- PAPERS HAVE
TO SAY THIS WEEh.
Her Fearful I.oVc-A Little AdNicr-A TrOt-
ting Horse The Discouraged Lover
Texas ~iftiHgs. ctc.
HER FEARFUL L0Ff:

summer evening, while ON the lawn that
stretches away toward the heavy postcrn
gates there arr little knots of merry
Young people the Chinese lanterns with
which the grounds are Illuminated bring
ing into strong relief thr pretty dress, 5
of soft white goods that the Indies wear.
while the rustic seats scattered here and
there over the velvcty lawn lose much OF
their augrlarity and hardness of outline
when seen in the dim half-light that per-
vades the place.
aren't you tired. Regy?' asks Gladys
McNHrtlv. as she ucstles cozily IN one
corner of a great chan madct Of the
anarlcd branches OF an old oak that after
hraving the storms OF centuries and toss
ing its limbs in bold defiance of all the
forces Of nature had been cut down at
the mandate Of a landscape gardener. IN
order that the owner of Bricrton Villa
might have an unobstructed view Of his
broad domain as he sat in the conscrvi-
tory of a summer afternoon. looking out
upon a broad vista of meadow laud, gar
den Plat and fields of yellow grain. Very
pretty was the picture as Gladys sat
there in the bi@ nakcn char. her soft
brown ewes looking doubly beautiful be
meath the fluffy mass of golden hair that
overhung them. while the tiny foot en-
meshed in silk of the finest texture that
peepcd ont from beneath the pciGHDir
dress was in itself poem.
II am never tired. says Reginald
O'Rourlc ''at least. not when with you
and then he paUs 5 suddenly, as if
afraid he may have said too much. But
rs he stands there. looking at Gladys
with wistful. tender. I-would-eat-a-
watfle-for-vor-sake look. the girl cannot
hut feel that to win the love of this man
is something Of which any woman might
be- proud. And then. as Reginald seats
himself beside her and takes her hand in
his. the girls face IS atiane with deep
bushes.
''You must know that I love you, dar-
ling. " he SAYS land can You not love
me n little il return -
But the bushes have fled from the
pretty face now, and in their place Is a
look of haunting feaI-a where-has-thn-
hair-brrlsh-eoue-to expression that fills
Reginald with horror
'.What has happened? 2" he asks. bend
ing over her. ''Is it possible that | have
been mistaken; that you do not love
me -
For answer She places her arms about
his neck. and rs her face falls forward ON
his should l.. the girl breaks down III Il
storm of sobs
God h In me. she says, Il love You
far too we'll
Then why are you weeping? he
asks kissing away the tears as he speaks.
Looking MP to him with the beautiful
brown ewes in which the tcar-drops are
shining. she answers him slowly and with
infinite pathos
Because / am sorry to think how
soon you Will he broke. - 0jc0go
TTbuuc
HIS LITTLE TAX.
During the palmy DAYS of the income
tax. and when blanks were mailed to
even tailors' apprentices, q farmer living
near Columbus. O.. called upon lawyer
i'm that city aud said I'm afraid I'll
have to pay an income tax on about
$500. "Is that so? That would bc too
bad. Yes: the bare idea makes me
feel terrible. / want to figure with Won
and see if we cant beat the government.
The two sat down and went over income
and expenses dozen times over. but
figure rs they would there was $500 on
which income should be paid. Il have
it have it," suddenly exclaimed the
LAWYER. MS Il light broke in on him. &" You
must return $500 rs lent on a note for q
wear: I'll give YOU my note; take tht
money. and Uncle Sam may whistle.
"T'n bc hanged if | don't DO it cried
old corn stalk. and do 1t he did. He
hadn't been ahlc TO collect anything on
the note up to wear ago. but he beat
the government all the same tl'di
street Nc,cS.
TAKING ADVICE.
The Drfr0H krcc Press SAYS Their,
was Young man Mt the Central Marke
the other day who looked the perfec
specimen of a g1renhorn. His hand.
were large and rcd his clothes didn't fit
aud his cowhide boots had just becI
rubbed down with fried meat gravy
He was looking at everything with opcl
mouth when a couple of Young men whe
had been driven in by the ram com
menced to guy him. One Of them ask
ing him if he was ON a bridal tour, anC
the other insisted on calling him Shakes
pearc. Liberal offers We're made for HI
coat and boots, and an attempt was mad,
to secure him for n lecturlng tour through
the country.
The Young man took everything in {
calm. matter-of- fact way. until q gentle
man came along and said TO him:
''Sce, here, my friend. why do yoI
stand these insults?
Are they insulting'me -?
OF course they are.
And should ! resent it? -
Certainly vou should.
"Then | will | didn't know exactly
what to do, but thought I'd hold on foi
advice. Ii YOU say go in and slam EN-
I'll do So.
- / would.
"Thcn | will.
In the coolest kind of a way he re
moved his coat and rolled it up and lal'
it down. placed his hat ON the bundle
and without n word of warning he wadcC
in and knocked one off the end Of thu
bench and the other clear over II, ans
then eave each lift with his cowhide
He won a complete victory inside OF tw'
minutes without receiving a scratch, anC
rs he put on his coat he said to his ad
wiser:
Much obliged for your kindness
stranger. IF that's the way you 10 her
in Detroit I'll have six months siclnes
on my knuckles for the next chap VIII,
asks if they had to hire hall to tinisl
my boots in
ADVICE TO A DISCOURAGED LOVER.
The Laramie Roollaerana savs Sh