Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-12-23
SOliIOquy ON Carving.

Speaking about carving, there is a
prospect now that in our best circles,
within a short time, the old custom of
making the host demolish the kiln-dried
poultry at dinner will become extinct,
and that a servant at a side board, on
a small salary will take hand saw and
a can of nitroglycerine and shatter the
remains, thus giving the host a chance
to chat with his guests instead of spat-
tering them with dressing and casting
gloom and gravy over the company.
This isa move for which | have long
contended. 1t places the manuel labor
of dinner where it belongs, and re-
licves man who should give his whole
attention to the entertainment of his
friendsat the table. You would not
expect your host to take off his coat
and kill the fowl in your presence in
order to show you that it is all on the
square, and it is not customary to re-
qure the proprietor of the house to
peel the potatoes at the table for his
guests to prove that there is NJ put up
Job about it,
Therefore | claim that the lamented
hen may be thoroughly shattered at a
side table by an athlete al four dollars
week, and still good faith toward the
guests be maintained. If any one be
doubtful or suspicious, etiquette will
permit him to stand by the side of the
hirling carver and witness the'inquest
Still it would be better fun for him to
sit at the table, and if the parts given
him are not satisfactory, he can put
them in his overshoes pro tenn and cas-
ually throw them out at the back door
while the other guests are listening to
the "Maiden's Prayer" in the parlor.
Under the new deal the host will en-
Joy the dinner much more than he used
to with his thumb cut off and a quart
of dressing in his lap No man feels
perfectly at home if he has to wrap up
his cut finger in a rag and then scoop
handful of dressing out of his vest
pocket and return it to the platter.
Few wimen are cool enough to do this,
laughing heartily all the time and tell.
ing some mirth provoking anecdOte
meantime.
1t is also annoying to have twenty
guests ask for clark meat, please,
when there are only three animal:
cooked and neither one of them had a
. particle of dark meat about her person.
Lately have adopted the plan Of Sc
gregating the fowl by main strength,
using the fingers when necessary, and
then wiping them in an off,hand man
ner on the table cloth. Then | ask the
servant to bring in the dark hen We
ordered, so that we might have al
abundance Of dark meat. IF the ser
want says there is none, smile and tel
the guests that the brunette chicken
by some oversight has been eaten il
kitchen, and | shall have to give then
such relics as may be at hand. Thi
simplities the matter ami places me il
J a far more agreeable place relative tt
> the company. My great success, how
ever, in carving is mainly confined tt
the watermelon. The watermelon doe
not confuse me. | always know wher
. to find the joints, and those who do no
like the inside of the melon can hav
the outside. Now, my great trouble
with fowls is, that one day l have Ne
braska chicken, and the next trip
have to assassinate a Mormon Shangha
pullet, with expressive hip-bones an,
amolgam paletot. This makes me mel
vous, because they are so dissimila
and their joints are in different places
The Norman hen is round -shouldere
and her collar bone is more on the bia
i. than the Nebraska fowl. This gives
totally different expression to her fei
lures in death, and, as l have said, dt
; stIoys the symmetry of the carve.
! | began my education in this line b
= carving butter in hot weather, an
. gradually led up to the quail on toas
= In carving the quail, first mortgag
=, your home and get the quail Th
quail should be cooked before carvin,
but not until the chronometer balanC
at
= and other organs have been removed
Place your quail on the toast in 81
ting position, then passing the disseCtin
I. knife down between the shoulder blade
- d;esaot tho ,o1Ona;so