, 1882-06-09
Good Manners,

GOOU MdDIIeIS,
1t is difficult, almost impossible, to
give definition of good manners
That indcscrihablc something 10y
which We recognize, after five mn
utes' conversation, a gentleman or
gentlewoman l. not to he told IN
words. 1t is like the true ring of tn,
coin. suhtlest but surcst test OF ITS
renuineness No book of etiquette
can help Us to lay down the rules on
the subject. There are wcll-mannered
men and women who have never re,
ceived IA lesson in manners or deport
ment in all their lives, who do not
know single conversational rule
and who have never mixed in what Is
called fashionable society. Accident
of birth seems but a small account in
the matter stranger still, difference
of early surroundings. There are
Doors with blue blood in their veins,
and there are gentlemen who have not
a drop. If the old saying that it
takes three generations to make a
gentleman be the rule, there are
many exceptions to it. The mere in
heritance of an aristocratic name, the
possession of long line of noble or
gentle blooded ancestors, does not
always imply gentle demeanor. Good
blood must, however, be considered a
favoring circumstance, chiefly be-
cause it generally insures refined sur
roundings, intercourse with elegant
and cultivated persons, and gives that
perfect ease of manner in society
which is the result of consciousness
of high position and seldom meet
ing ones superior in rank.
Elegant or polished manners are
those which we sometimes see in
people accustomed to mix a great
deal in the world. They are partly
natural, as the result of such mix
ture partly studied by those who
set much store by such things, and
who put on company manners as they
put on full dress.
A sweet manner, when the effort to
please is too evident, the affability
too deliberate, the fiattery too gross,
is rarely agreeable ; but slight soup,
CON of compliment in manner is, how
ever we may disclaim the fact, accept,
able to all, especially to the gentler
sex.
A courtly manner, which we now
and then come across, chiefly in eld-
erly gentlemen, is fast becoming a
thing of the past 1t reminds us of
traditions of the days of chivalry,
when ladies were accustomed to con
slider themselves superior beings and
to exact the most exaggerated serv-
ices from men as a matter of course.
In our days of free and easy inter
course between the sexes a courtly or
ultra gallant manner rather puts us
out, and makes us feel kind of re-
straint or stiffness, as if we should
sit straight and speak very precisely.
Given gentleman or lady with
that ease of manner which must
characterize such-a determination to
Try and feel, or at least to appear, in
terested in whatever is going on
around, and to avoid, as far as CON
science will allow, anything which
may offend the prejudices of those in
whose company he or she may be,
and we have Undoubtedly a well-man-
nered person, although all extra
graces may be wanted. "Be natu-
raj" (the answer to a conundrum we
have somewhere seen "Wbat is
the key to good manners ?'') is per-
haps the most useful hint to give to
those who feel it their duty to try and
please in society. Absence of affect
alton is a charm which compensates
for the want of many a grace, and a
put-on manner rarely deceives, and
is unpleasing.