Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1882-04-15
Not to Brindle Cows.

A man came into the office recently
with black eye a strip of court plas-
ter across his cheek, one arm in sling,
and as he leaned on a crutch. and wiped
the persplratlon away from a lump on
his forehead, with red cotton handker-
chief. lie asked if the editor was in. We
noticed that there was quite healthy
smell OF stock yards. about the visitor,
but thinking that in his CRIPPLED condl-
ton We could probably whip him, if
worse came to worse, we admitted that
we were in.
Well, want to stop my paper, said
he, Is he sat down on one edge of a
chair, as though it might hurt Scratch
my name right off. You are responsible
J for my condition.
Thinking the man might have been
taking our advice to deaf men, to always
wa on railroad track if they could
lind one, we Were preparing to scratch
him off without any argument, believing
him 70 be a man vino knew when he had
enough, when he spoke up as follows:
''The amount Of 1t is this. | live oIt
in Jefferson County, and l came in on
the new Northwestern road just to get
recreation. | am farmer, and keep
cows. l recently read an article III your
paper about dairymcns convention,
where one of the notices over tue door
was. Treat a COW as you would a lady,
and the article said it was contended by
out best dalrvmen that COW treated IN
a polite, gentleE4anly manuer, rs though
she was a companion, would give twice
as much milk. The IAN seemed feast
BILE to me. had been hard man with
stock, and thought maybe that was one
reason my COWS always dried up whey
butter was forty cents pound, and gave
plenty of milk when butter was only l;
cents pound. | decided to adopt YOU
, plan, and treat a COW f.s would lady
had brindle COW that ne yer had beel
much mashed on me, and decided t(
! commence on her, and the next morning
: after [ read your deyilish paper. 1 pu
on my Sunday suit, and wl1te plug hat
r that [ brought the year Greeley run
for President. and went to the barn t.
milk I noticed the old COW seemed te
: be bashful and frightened, but, taking
off my hat and bowing politely said
< Madame. excuse the seeming impro
priety of the request, but will you d.
t me the favor to hoist % At the sam
time tapped hsr gently on the fam
e with my plug hat. and putting the til
/ pail on the floor under her, | sat dow
f on the milking stool"
"Diu she hoist?' said we, rather anx
r ious to know how the advice of Presl
t dent Smith, Of Sheboygan. the grea
r dalrvman had worked.
odd she hoist? Well, look at me
c and see if YOU think she hoisted. Say
{ tell you now ID confidence. and [ don
want 1t repeated, but that COW raise
right up and kicked me with all fou
: feet, switched me with her tall an
. hooked me with both horns, all at once
> and when l got up out of the bedding
/ the stall, and dug my hat out of I'll
manger, an>. the milking stool out frol
q under me, and began to maui that COW
| forgot all about the proper treatmel
9 of horned cattle. why, she fairly ga
8 loped over me, and never want to rea
your old paper again.
We tried to explain to him that Il
: advice did not apply to brindle cows
all, but he hobbled out, the madGe
man that ever asked COW to hoist
diplomatic language.