River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-09-07
4 LITTLE Fun.

'My idea of de better worl' is whar dar
is lection goin' on all de time, case
den de white folks is alters perlight"
Our navy: Philadelphia mothers
now tell their youngsters that If they
are right good little boys until the bi-
centennial celebration this fall they
will take them down TO the river bank
and let them play with the United
States navy.
Bring up the plant in the way it
should grow: Young mistress: 81
think those flowers in the greenhouse
would be all the better for some wa er;
they look quite dried up !" Gardener:
We'll, fol my part, | don't old with
giving 'em lot of water; if you uses
EN- toity they comes to look for it.
It's 'abit, Miss, merely 'abit."
Seanee-Spirit of Thomas Jefferson
present: Question: "Wel, Thomas,
how have you been resting since you
left us?" jefferson; Pretty well,
thank you.-But | did turn over inmy
grave once" Question: "Why, when
was that, Thomas'" Jefferson: at
was when the Louisville newspapers
began to put Hon before the name Of
a police court judgel'
Love at the seashore: "OA, Harold"
said she, as she chung closer to his arm,
show very quiet and rcstful the sea
seems to be this evening" "Just as ]
would like wife to be" was the re-
Spouse. "And would you, as hus-
band, be the quiet, restful complement
of such a wife," He thought he could,
and the launch into the sea of matri-
monial difficulties was thus quietly
made. There's sure to be a gale, how
ever.
A farmers will was presented for
probate lit was in old days. to an arch
deacon during his visitation. He
found a name scratched out. The
widow stepped forward and explained:
81 tells you how he be, sir. When we
comes to looi, into the will we sees 200
left to John Wheeler whats he got
to do with masters money!" says l.
So / gets knife and us scratches him
out, and that's just how he be, sir"
Senator David Davis is visiting friends
in North Carolina, and dispatch from
Fayetteville. in that state, says: sit Is
rumored here that Senator David Davis
will soon marry a lady living in this
vicinity.
"Welcome home, Pansy."
Dapplevale was at its prettiest this
sweet June day rs it nestled cozily
among the hills that lowered above it
on every side. Down in the shady glen
where the village church stood, almost
hidden by the cypress trees whose great
boughs of green were swept caresslngly
against the sides Oh the modest struc-
ture, Pansy Perkins was standing, and
as Ethelbert Pettingill spoke the words
with which this chapter opens her face
lighted up with a radiant 2x4 smile
that was beautiful in It's sad expause OF
territory.
Come 10 me, Pansy," he said.
1t was Ethelbert's voice, tender, gen.
tie, that spoke, yet with something in
its tone that made the girl pause in her
excited, feverish walk up and down,
and she pressed her hands to her throb-
bling temples, looking at him with large,
bright, pathetic eyes. But he stretched
out his hand and she came TO him. Ne
passed his arm around her waist and
held her to his breast moment in
silence.
Presently Pansy spoke. ut is very
hot, is it not darline?" she said.
EYES," replied Ethelbert, "and it is
getting late, and we should be going
home"-Dut as he spoke the girl looked
up at him with those handsome dark
eyes that had witched so many men.
"DO Won love me?" she said.
''Passionately,. my angel" was the
reply in tremulous tones.
''And will you buy me some ice
cream?, she continued.
ELhelbert felt his heart throbbing
against his suspender, and for an
instant he could not reply. But the
momentary agitation was soon over,
and he spoke out in clear, mellow tones,
II will do it with pleasure, he said.
The peachy cheek of the girl was
laid close to his now, and the velvety
lips kissed him tenderly back of the
left ear. And then, turning her head
slightly, Pansy whispered to herself:
II have not lost my grip."-Frone "OUer
the Brink" By Murat Hdktedd.
The rich young lady who recently
married a horse-car driver had taken
to heart Sir Joseph Porter's pronnncia-
mento that Glove is front pl atform
on which ali ranks meet"
A case of domestic scandal was I'M
der discussion at tea-table. "Well,
let us think the best of her we CAL"
said an elderly spinster. "Y es," said
another, "and say the worst--that's the
fashion"
Count d'Orsay, who possessed a
charming wit, in remarkipg on a beauty
speck on the cheek of Lady Southamp-
ton, compared it to gem on rose
leaf. Tine compliment is far-fetched,'
observed her Ladyship. "How can
that be-" remarked the Count, "when
it is made on the spot"
The fashion reporter who wrote with
reference to belle Her feet were in
fairy boots" tied mis- wardrobe up In a
handkerchief and left for parts un-
kdown when it appeared the next
morning: "He feet were incased in
shoes that might be taken for ferry
boats"
"Mr. Perkins free lover | do not believe
Such thing of the spouse OF my Ida"
And at once Mrs. B. babe her child to explain,
Which she did as she sat Down beside her.
'Why. mamma It is one Of my dear hubbys
jokes,
Which he offers with so much impunity
When you gave him an intrest in me he av err'd
That he'd Joined the own-Ida community"
Into one of our largest dry. goods
stores entered a gentleman the
other day, and with the air of one
VINO had been used to this sort Of thing
all his life, you know, he said TO the
astonished saleswOman: "Giye me a
yard of maroon colored flannel to
match baby, please" Correcting
himself hastily, he began again: Il
beg pardon; mean q yard of flannel
to match q maroon colored baby
here producing a bit Of flannel from
mis- vest pocket), want yard of that"
The day is not far distant, mHrmurs
an western exchange, when the house
wife will glance into the woodshed and,
finding that the husband has gone off
without splitting the daily allowance of
fuel, will take down the phonOgraph,
howl into it volley of epithets that
will register 100 pounds pressure to the
square inch on the safety guage, and
then call out to her boy: Here, John,
go down town and grind that out to
your lazy old father, and see that you
turn the crank lively, too"
Wants to be the Hangman.