The Magnolia gazette., 1882-03-31
HUMORs OF THE DAY.


DoEs man break into humor when
he cracks a joke?
lr IS no longer Il matter of pride to
have high forehead. A COW has that,
and she is very lovely.
In UNION there is strength. "Poor
Toms a cold, but Tom and Jerry's hot.
-Hosf0a Commercial Bulletin.
The best description we have ever
heard Of slow man was that he was too
slow TO get out OF his own way.-Lo'eeH
Courier.
WHEN the washerwoman calls for q
young mans linen, does that make her
q shirt-caller? Neckst. ~ SteUJenvitie
HcrGtd.
MONEY makes my ma go, said little
Sleesieks when his mother, armed with
y $40 greenback, left for downtown
shopping tour.
ENQUIRER: Are plants in sleeping
room unhealthy? Notnecessarily. We've
seen some very healthy plants growing
in sleeping rooms.
"DoN'T you think that Miss Brown is
a very sweet girl?" asked Henry. "0h,
yes, very sweet, replied Jane; that is
to say, she is well preserved"
''ARE you dead, Tim?" said IN Irish
iather TO his son, who had fallen down n
well. g. Not dead, father, but spache.
less, came up from the depths.
No WOMAN eer conlented ls
No matter what she's got;
For when She builds little house
She always wants lot.
--hacIcosach Republioan
''lr rs poor taste to laugh at your own
jokes, said Henderson something /
never do, through do say it. " Does
anybody else ever laugh at themp
asked Fogg.
A BROOKLYN man has Just found his
sister from whom lie has been separated
fifty years. She was the cook in his
boarding house, and he recognized the
style Of her hash.
HAVE you any faith in mince pie as
Il cure for headache?" asked one young
married lady Of another. "Yes,h was
the reply, "bring out your mince pie.
| get mince-pie headaches regularly"
WHEN Brown complained of rush Of
blood to the head Fcgg endeayored to
ease hIs mind by reminding him that
nature abhors vacuum, and Browns
blood rushed to his head worse than
ever.
"MAN and wife are all one, are they?"
said she Eyes; what of it?" said he
suspiciously. "Why, in that case"
said his wife, j." / came home awfuliy
tipsy lest night and feel terribly ashamed
OF myself tins morning." He never said
a word.
Ar A YOUNG ladies' seminary recently,
during an examination in history, ono Of
the pupils was interrogated thus:
Mary, did Martin Luther die a natural
death z" "No," was the reply; che was
excommunicated by bull. Harvard
LaHtlJoon.
LITTLE EDITH was terribly sleepy the
other night She began her customary
prayer upon retiring, but when she got
as far as "Our Father" her eyes closed
and her head tumbled ON to the pillow.
tan't tay it tonight, she said, "I'm
too s'eepy, Heknows the vest of il.
A LECTURER was once in dilemma
which he will probably never forget.
While talking about art he ventured the
assertion, cart can never improve ma
ture." And at that moment some one
in the audience cried out in a gruff voice,
Can't he? Well, then, how do yon
think you would look without your wig9'
"AIEMoRY is wonderful thing" said
Jack Miller to his friend Dan Watts.
"Just think OF what fellows head can
hoIdl It's gigantic, sir - giganticr'
Watts" have often heard your friends
say you have very fine memory, Jack"
Miller Cdatteredj -" Well, that's very
kind. Yes, have pretty good memory"
Watts" DO you think you can recall
the ten dollars l lent you three years
ago?'