The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1882-08-26
The Road 70 Nlorgantown.


The following scene is said to have
actually occurred in the early settle
ment of this county somewhere on
the headwaters Of Dunkard creek,
near the line between Monongalia
and Greene counties. 1t illustrates
some peculiarities in the character of
the early settlers, and is not bad
example of the manner in which
roads are described by many people
even at the present day. We pub
lish q part of the story by request:
Stranger;--My friend can You tell
me the road to Morgantcwn?
Robin Darrah - Throwing down
an armful of chips which he was
carrying from the yard. BY the
grace of God / can, as well as any
man in the county, for I've been
there myself. You came past old
Joel Tuttle's didn't your with his lip
stickin' out like your foot-the am
beer runnin' off his lip sufficient to
swim ducks-He chaws tobacco. sir.
Stranger:--I care nothing about
him. I've come past there. l wish
to get on to Morgantown.
Darrah We'll you'll take up the
hull past ould blink-eyed Baldwin's,
all the blacksmith we have in this
countryside cussedest iron rooster
you ever saw in the days of your life
He will burn up forty plow-shares a
year If you'll take 'em to him. A few
days ago Jake-dang his name-end
Bets-ding her tail can't think Of
either of their names-was runnin'
off to get married over in Pennsylva-
MIA, and they stopt at old blind-eyed
Baldwin's to git their bosses shod !;
and he put his iron in the fire and
blow'd and the devil a shoe he made,
and whether they got married or not
I'm not able to tell you. He got a
little old stewed up woman for n
wife about as big as your fist-about
so Highland she keeps all the whole
country in an uproar with her lies,
runnin' from house to house tattling,
and she's got her name up SO that it,
Matte Baldwin here and Matte
Baldwin there and Matte Baldwin
in eyerybody's mouth, and there's
not lawsuit in the county but
what she's summoned as witness
and whether she swears lies or not
Pm not able to tell We, but believe
she swcars lies. You'll take down
the hill there to Dave Chews that
married old Aaron Fosters wider.
AT first sight you'll think he's mig
ger. but he's white man, sir. You
will turn around his farm to the
right: that road will lead you to Dan
Cakes the dog shooter. He has kill
ed all the dogs in his county, SO if
you're afraid of dogs you needn't be
alarmed, fur there's no dog left to
bark at We, and it's Dan Cake here
and Dan Cake there and Dan Cake
in everybo1y's mouth. He ought to
be made pay fur the dogs and ] think
he will afore he gifts through with it.
The other day day me and my son
Joe was goin' around the field and
up jumped fox, and the dog took
after it, and we've never heard tell of
the dog or the fox since day before yes
terday and then the dog was about
$50 yards ahead Of the fox, and he
hasn't got back yit and l expect Dan
Cake has killed him. You just keep
right down the run from there and
you will come in amongst the latest,
lustiest set of niggers you ever seen
in all the days Of your life. Their
name is Dowd, and its Dowd here
and Dowd there and the Dowd's is
in everybody's mouth, and I've one
Of the cussedest lawsuits with them
you ever heard Of in your life, and
it's all about SANDER and there's Tom
T. Ray, the Clerk of the Court
in Morgantown, and Edgar C.
Wilson the best lawyer in Virginny,
both say I'll lick 'em out slick as
bone, and its all about SANDER, though
/ never SANDER anybody myself If
l know anything against anybody l
generally keep it to myself. You'll
cross pint over there and fall over
on another run. by turning to the
right you'll come down to old Bill
Messer's. He married Mitz, and
her name is Peg, and she's the Gus
sedcst woman to swear you ever
heard in all your life, sir. Her hair
sticks out like scrub broom. She
don't comb it from one weeks end to
another, and It's Peg Messer here
and Peg Messer there, and Peg Mes
ser in everybody's mouth, and she
can outswear Matte Baldwin. You'll
there turn to the left and that will
take you up pint, and you will fall
over onto Jake's run-It used to be
called Straddler's run-named after
old Jack Straddlers in indian times,
and it's settled from head to mouth
with Tenants, and it's Tenants
here and Tenants there and it's
Tenants in everybody's mouth, and
they're the cussedest men to fight
you ever seen in your born days.
Whenever they have log rolling or
any coming together of the people,
their jackets are off and the blood
and snot a fyin' and all hol-
lerin' sfair play" The father will
fight with the son, and the son with
the father, and brothers will fight
ono another. But there is old EnOch