The Osceola times., 1882-04-15
MODEL LOVE LETTER.
A preach Of Promise Csse-The Raptures
of Cupid Touchingiy Rehearsed.
the cage.

A Rreach of Promise Csse-The Raptures
of Cupid Touchingly Rehearsed.
MyyRs ~. HARRIs.-This was one OF
those rare and peculiar cases--breach OF
promise of marriage-and occupied the
greater part of the forenoon. From the
evidence it appears that the parties both
live in or near Onondaga; that Harris
had for two and half years been fre-
ouent visitor at the house of the plain
tiff-a widow woman Of about thirty
wears of age, with three children. 1t
seems to have been the opinion OF the
friends of the plaintiff land no doubt
she thought SO herself that Harris would
marry her; but he Harris,) from some
unaccountable cause, few months ago
suddenly discovered that he loved an
other Young lady better, and verified
this belief a short time since by marry
ing that other lady. Hence the acLon
was brought by the plaintiff to recover
domsges, TO apply as a salve to her
wounded affections. The following ten
der ep'stle, sent by the loving swain,
will interest our readers, and we recon-
mend it as model love letter:
Ny DEAR MRS. M.-Every time ] think
of you my heart flops up and down like
churn. .dasher. Sensations of unutterable
Joy caper over it like young goals on
stable roof, and thrill through it like
| Spanish needles through a pair OF tow
| linen trousers. As a gosling swimmeth
with delight in mud-puddle, so swim 1
/ in sea OF glory. Visions of ecstatic rap
ture thicker than the hairs of backing
brush, and brighter than the hues OF Il
humming- birds pinions, visit me in my
slumbers; and, borne on their invisible
wings, your image stands before me, and
| reach out to grasp it, like pointer
swapping at blue bottle fly. When
first beheld your angelic projections
was bewildered, and my brain whirled
around like bumble-bee under 3 lass
tdmbler. Ny eyes stood open like cellar
doors in country town, and ! lifted up
my ears to catch the silvery accents oil
your voice. NY tongue refused to wag,
and in silent alteration / drank in the
sweet infection Of love as a thirsty man
swalloweth a tumbler of hot whiskey
punch.
Since the light of your face fell upon
my life, sometimes feel as if could hit
myself up by my boot straps to the top OF
the church steeple, and pull the bell rope
for singing school. Day and night you
are in my thoughts. When Aurora,
blushiDg like bride, rises from her saf-
from colored couch; when the jay bird
pipes his tuneful lay in the apple tree by
the spring hogse; when the chanticleer's 8
shrill clarion heralds the coming morn;
when the awakening pig ariseth from
l., kal a,,I tAt
for his mornings refreshments; when the
drowsy beetle wheels to droning flight
at sultry noon tide and when the lowing
herds come home at milking time, l
think of thee; and like piece Of gum
elastic, my heart seems stretched clear
across my bosom. Your hair is like the
name of a sorrel horse powdered with
gold; and the brass pins skewered through
your water fall fill me with unbounded
awe. Your forehead is smoother than the
bow of an old coat; your eyes are glor-
ious to behold. In their liquid depths
see legions of little cupids bathing. like
cohort of ants in an old army cracker.
When their fire hit me upon my manly
breast, it penetrated my whole anatomy,
az load of bird shot through rotten
+ apple. Your nose is from chunk Of
Parian merble, and your mouth is puck:
ere1 with sweetness. Nectar fingers ON
your lips, like honey on bears paw;
and my rads of unfedged kisses are here
ready to fly out and light somewhere,
like blue birds out of their parents nest.
Your laugh rings in my ears like the
windharp's strain, or the bleat of a stray
, lamb on bleak hill side. The aimples
, on your cheeks are like bowers in beds
+ of roses, hollows in cakes Of homemade
, sugar.
am dying to fly to thy presence, and
pour out the burning eloquen e of my
love, as thrifty house wives pour out hot
coffee.
Away from you am melancholy as a
sick rat.
Sometimes / can hear the June bugs
Of despondency buzzing in my ears, and
feel the cold lizards of despair crawling
down my back. Uncouth fears, like j
thousand minnows, nibble at my spirits;
| and my soul is pierced with doubt, as an
, old cheese is bored with shippers.
My love for you is stronger than the
smell OF Cohey's patent butter, or the
kick of young COW, and more unselfsh
. than kittens fifst caterwaul As a song
] bllu iidltheio iOi tlt likiil VI udy, tllt
cautious mouse for the fresh bacon in
, the trap, az mean pup bankers after
new milk, SO long for thee.
You are fairer than a speckled pullet,
sweeter than a fanlee doughnut fried
, in sorghum molasses, brighter than a
topknot plumage on muscovy duck.
You are candy, kisses, raisins pound
cake and sweetened toddy altogether.
II these few remarks will enable you
to see the inside Of my soul and me to
win your affections, | shall be as happy
as a woodpecker on cherry tree, or a
stage horse in a green pasture. Ifyou
cannot reciprocate my thrilling passion,
! will pine awayxke poisoned bed
bng and fall away from fourishing
, vine of life, an untimely branch; and in
the coming years, when the shadows
grow from the hills, and the philosophi.
cal frog sings his cheerful evening hymp.
you, happy, in another's love, can come
and drop tear and catch cold upon
the last resting place Of
Yours atectionately, II.
Verdict for plaintiff and $500.
Good Eating and Good Writing.
In old mouastir dave ,xoaJ ...;..z- - -