The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1882-07-13
Some Matrimonial Mistakes

IF men put oil marriage ialc! than
thirty, aud women ;t;cT than twenty live
or sin, they are apt 10 conclude never IL
marry they are less likely to harmonic
with each other: they will be more what
is called set in their ways, and les hap
py in The marriage relation. This may
be laid down as rule, though 1t has nii.
merous exceptions think tie age !
have just given are good marrying agee,
whether you consider morals, health, OF
finances. People should make their
choice long enough before they are
married to be sure what sort OF person
it i to whom they are intru,tinS the
happiness Of thcir future. 1t, by cHrIy
choicc, you mean boy and girl selections,
] do not believe in them. i refer you
again To 81. N1na1iS IjW. The heroine
complains Of Il bligltcd distracted life,
but says, when was it otherwise, with
engagement. formed in youth and folly
Non and wcud, you know, become
man and woman while we were sc!
scarcely more than children. Let ns
suppose that this c,triv ch0ice means 4 very
carly marriage; say the girl Of sixteen
or seventeen marrrie5 tic lad OF twenty.
Now there are many such couples, ANA
the marriage is usually without the con.
sent of the parents OH either side. The
girls parents would fcri that she i, ;aT 800
Young for the cares Of married life, the
boys parents feel tha. he is TOO young
either to know his own mind, or to sup
port wife. When these matches are
made, the unfortunate parents on either
side arc usually forced TO support q
household for which they are not resron-
siblc Their consent was 10: asked by
the Youthful advcntllrcr5, but their care
and money are freely demanded. The
mother, who is scarcely y,s,ci from the
fatigucs o! bringing up her own little
iamilywho has perhaps Just seen her
nursery vacated 10y the last small candi-
date for the schoOl-roo is Obliged to
rcassumc these same burdens Tor the chit
drcn Of the two youthful parents
At this minute the doctor, who Was IN
search Of his son Thomas, thrust his bead
in the window He had heard the last
remarks and in,crposcd. Now have ii
word to say 10 you young folks. and |
want You all to heed il. Some Of you
think it very smart 10 run oil nnd get
married, long before any one thinks yon
are old enough. Nils. iancics that she
has raised herself far above her playmate.
by hor early matronhood. And young
master, who ought to be pursuing his
studies, or learning the first steps in the
business Of his life, struts about, aud
takes airs III Il married man. 1t Is II sight
to make doctors weep. if nobody else, for
ice know what will come Of it. Now ]
an notgoing to minCc matters The prob
abilities in this case are for q large fam
i!y nf children, near Of al nge, and fee
bio in body and mind. These premature
ly married couples have not physical and
mental maturity sufficient for robust aud
vigorous Drained children. Tho POOR
young parents will groo att fast enough
in watching s!ceplcas nights with baby
sufferers when they can not by my pos
ability nurse with judgment in
following little cotiins. The girl, WAC at
sixteen was vain Of being bride, is very
likely not to sec twenty four; if she does,
she will be pale, thin, careworn her vi
vaeity gone, her hopcfulness lost in many
disasters, just when the companions Of
her childhood are in the first freshness of
young beauty, hope, and love. There is
another point to be looked at. In these
ovcr.early marriages women grow old
much faster than men. The girl, two or
thlce years the junior of her boy bride.
groom, soon begins to look older than
he does. AT thirty lie is yet young
man, while, if she has lived SO long, she
looks like an old woman, having 50 long
sustained cares to which she was entirely
unequal Ten to ono the man has by
this time found out that he made Il has
ty choice; every year has widened differ
mentally, while she, poor soul has no
timo to grow. He, is shut out from
pleasure which lie longs to enjoy: his
home is burden, his Wife drag. She
compares herself with others and secs the
difference. She feels that her husband
over.persuadrd her to take step whose
result has been bitterness. 1t is not
+. ovory Iias, ai.i snissfan!y and oHa;.
repeated. I wish I could keep it before
the eyes Of all foolish girls and boys"
"Wcll," said John Frederick, "sinco
the doctor has drawn us such picture OF
premature marriages, who will utter
similar Jeremiad over Long Enyayc.
metts :"
II WILL" said the stranger, promptly.
"rhey are dangerous things"
"But in what are they dangerous?
They give people time to become ma.
turo and sensible before they marry"
And also time to grow apart from
each other; to change, to see, perhaps,
some one who suits them better, and to
marry with only hall heart. Take such
al instance rs this : at IN academy or
high school, n youth of eighteen becomes
engaged to q girl Of nearly his own age.
Flo goes from tho school to college, then
through his professional studies, say for
seven years II lie stops to help himself
by teaching, lot us say nine years. Then
he is lucky if two years moro will give
him such start in life that he may mar.
ry. He is twenty. eight or thirty he has
had ten or twelve years of mental growth
and rapid progress he has learned much
of men and Of things. seen much of 80.
ciety. Suppose in this time, the girl has
not pursued her studies, she has paid no
heed to books then her mind has re-
trograded, for mind can not stand still.
Shut up in her home, with few interests,
few sources Of improvement, tho years of
waiting havo been harder on her than on
!::::::Gs:. Thho fact of her engagement has
shut her out from many little attentions
that others have received her early
companions have married and found 9th.
or homes; the noxt younger set have
grown up, and think her old. Her story
may be fortunately different, but it is
often exactly this her lover remains
true to his promise, though the first
warmth of his feelings has died out with
distance aud new occupations. They
find themselves strangers to each other
they have so changedl He thoncht she
was younger and brighter: she thought
he was more tender. They each might
I, 1akk e A.. ~ r.