The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1882-03-10
LADY PHYSICIANS.
Why il viii Never do to Call Them
for n vers sick Man.
From Peck's Sun.

From Peek's Sun.
A ST. Louis doctor factory recent.
ly turned out a dozen female doe
tors. As long as the female doc
tors were confined TO one or two in
the whole country, and those were
ouly experimental. we held our
neace and did not complain; but
now that the colleges are engaged
in producing female doctors as q
business we must protest, and Ia
so doug will give u few reasons
why female doctors will not prove
a paying branch of Industry.
In the first place, il they doctor
anybody il must be women, and
three.fourths Of the women would
rather have q male doctor. Sup.
pose those colleges turn out female
doctors until there are as many OF
them as there are male doctors,
what have they got to practice on'
A man, II there WAS nothing the
matter with him, might call In =
female doctor, but ii he was sick as
horse III a man is sick he is sick
as u horse), the last thing he would
have would be "a female doctor.
And whyf Because when a man
has a female fumbling around him
he wants to feel well. He don't
want to feel bilious or feyerish,
with his mouth tasting like cheese,
and his eyes bloodshot, when the
female is.. looking him over and Ia.
king account of stock.
OF course, these female doctors
are all young aud looking, and
IL one of them came into u sick
room where u man was in bed, and
he had chills and was as cold as q
wedge, and she should sit up close
to the side OF the bed aud take hold
OF his hand, his pulse would run up
to 100, and she would prescribe for
q fever when he had chilblains.
Oh, you can't fool us on female
doctors. A man who has been sick
and had male doctors, knows just
how much he would like to have a
female doctor come tripping in and
throw her fur-lined cloak over a
chair, take of her hat aud gloves
and throw them on a lounge, aud
come up to the bed with u pair Of
marine blue eyes, with n twinkle
in the corner, and look him in the
wild, changeable eyes aud ask him
to run out his tongue.
Suppose he knew his tongue was
coated so it looked like the yellow
turkish towel, do you suppose be
would want to run out over 8 or 0
inches of the lower part OF it and
let that female doctor put her iiu.
ger on it to see how furred it vast
Not much. He would put that
tongue mp into his cheek, and
wouldn't let her see it for twenty
five cents admission. We have all
seen doctors put their hands under
the bed clothes and feel o man's
feet to SEQ il they were cold. lfa
female doctor should do that it
would give a man cramps IN the
legs. A male doctor can put his
hand on u mans stomach, and liver
and lungs, aud ask him if he feels
any pain there; but if fem he doc.
tor should do the same thing it would
make man sick, aud he would
want TO get up and kick himself
for employing u female doctor. oh,
there is no use talking, it would
kill % man.
Now, suppose msn has heart
disease, and a female doctor should
want to listen to the beating OF his
heart. She would lay her lett ear
on his left breast, 80 her eyes and
rosebud month would be looking
right In his face, and her wavy hair
would be scattered all around there,
getting tangled in the buttons of
his night shirt. Don't you suppose
his heart would get in about twen-
ty extra beats to the mlnutef You
bet! And she would smile--we
will bet $40 abe would smile--and
show her pearly teeth, aud the ripe
lips would be working AS though
she were counting the beats, and
be would think she was trying TO
whisper to him, and. Well,
what would he DO doing all this
time?
1t he was not dead yet, which
would be 4 wonder, his left haud
would brush the hair away from
her temple and kind Of stay there
to keep the hair away, aud his right
hand would get sort OF nervous and
move around to the back of her
head, and when she had counted
the beats = few minutes and was
raising her head he would draw the
head up to him and kiss her once
for luck, If he Was AZ bilious as q
Jersey swamp angel, and have her
charge 1t in her bill. And then a
reaction would set in, and he would
be as weak as . cat, aud she would
have to fan him and rub his head