The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-12-27
COATING THE OLD MAN.
The Bad Boy Plays Mason, and Gives His
Pa the Royal bumper Degree.

AN VI
long stick of cinnamon bark to chew.
"Why, yes, Of course I am, but what
set you to thinking of that?' asked the
grocery man, rs he went to the desk amt
charged the boys father with half q
pound Of cinnamon.
"Well, do the goats bunt when you
pishiatea fresh candidate?1
"No, 5of course not. The goats are
cheap ones. that have no life, and WI
muzzle them, and put pillows over then
heads, SC they can't hurt anybody
says the grocery man, as he winked al
a brother Odd Fellow who was seated on
a sugar barrel, looking mysterious. But
why do you ask"
"Oh, nuthins, only ] wish ffle and my
chum had niuzzled our goat with a pill
low. Pa would have enjoyed becoming
member of our lodge better. You see,
pa had been telling up how much good
the Masons and Odd Fellows did, and
said we ought to try and grow up good
SO we could jine the lodges when we got
big, and | asked pa If it W uld do any
hurt for US to- have q play lodge in my
room, and purtend to nishiate, and pa
said it wouldn't do any harm. he
said it would improve our minds, and
learn us to he men. So my chum and
me borried a goat that lives in a livery
stable and carried him up to my roon
when pa and ma was out riding, but the
goat biatted SO we had to tie q handker-
chief around his nose, and his feet made
such q noise on the floor that we put
some *baby's socks ON his feet. Well,
sir, my cllum and ME practised with.
that goat until he could bunt a picture
of the goat every time. We borrried a
buck beer sign from q 'aloon man and
hung it on the back of a chair, and the
goat would hit it every time That
night pa wanted to know what we were
doing up in my room, and [ told him
we Were playing lodge, and improving
our minds, and pa said that was right.
there was nothing that did boys Of our
age half so much good as to initiate men,
and store by useful nollidge. Then my
chum asked pa if he idn't wan to come
up and take the grand bumper degree,
and pa LATED and said he didn't care If
he did, just to encourage us boys in in
nocent pastime, that was SO improving
to our intellex. We had shut the goat
up in a closet in my room, and he had
got over batting, SO we took off the
handkerchief, and he was eating some
of NY paper collars, and skate straps.
"We went up stairs and told pa to-
come up pretty soon and give three dis.
tinct raps, and when we asked him who
comes there he must say "a pilgarlic who
wants to join your ancient order and
ride the goat Ma wanted to com up,
too, but we told her if she comein it
would break up the lodge, cause a wo-
man couldn't keep a secret, and we
didn't have any side-saddle for the goat.
Say, if you tried it, the next time
you nishiate 8 man in your Mason's
lodge, you sprinkle a little kyan pepper
on the goats beard just afore you turn
him loose. You can get three times a.
much fun to the square inch of goat
You wouldn't think it was the same
goat. Well, we got all fixed. and pa
raped, and we let him in and told him
he must be blind-folded, and he got on
his knees a iatfing, and tied a towel
around his eyes, and then I turned him
around and made him get down on his
hands also, and then his back was right
toward the closet door, and I put the
buck beersign right against pas clothes.
He was a laffing all the time, and said
we boys were full of fun lis they made
ZEN, and we told him it was q solemn oc-
casion and we wouldn't permit no levi
ty, and if he didn't stop laf1ing We
couldn't give him the grand bumper de-.
gree. Then everything was ready, and
my chum had his hand on the closet
door and some kyan pepper in the other
hand, and / asked pa in low, base tones
If he felt as though he wanted to. turn
back, or if he had nerve enough to go
ahead and take the degree. warned
him that it was full of dangers, as the
goat was loaded for beer, and told him
he yet had time to retrace his steps If he
wanted to. He said he wanted the
whole dizziness, and we could go ahead
with the m~enagerie. Then / said to pa
that ii he had decided to go ahead and