The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-10-22
THEOLOGY AND BAS
BALL.
BASE

|
rushed, and it was found necessar
to assign the religious editor TO bss
ball match. He watched the gam
through patiently, and the mex
morning submitted the following re
port:
"a very refreshing season of bas,
ball was experienced in the Capitol
| inc Vineyard yesterday afternoon
afording exceeding JUNCTION to {
congregation of fully 1000 souls
Brother Murphy, ct the Brooklyn
Glass, first welded the rod, even SIS
did Moses at the rock OF waters, and
shifting the ball with prodigous
smite. was richly blessed with two
bases. It then became the blessed
privilege OF Brother Fitzgerald t.
stand forth, but 1espite his most fer
vent efforts. divine providence inter
fered with foul tip, and the brother
harvested naught. During the
season Brother Murphy had exper-
fenced a change of basis, garner ing
unto him the third thereof. whereas
there was great rejoicing. mins led
with lamentation and the rendiug OF
garments among the disciples of the
conflicting tribes. At this critiea
point in the salvation of the elias
Brother Maloney came among them
as physician OF souls, but the sheaves
OF great rejoicing was not for him.
Like Jacob he Wrestled, and like
Nathan he fell, for bis adVersaries
we're plenteous and their wisdom
that OF the serpent, for asmuoh when
he smote the ball so that it SCARED
they that were as Philistines unto
him did congregate around about
that the ball might not escape them,
and did hold forth each man his
hands, until their fingers in numbers
were like unto the lilies OF the valley.
and they seized the ball and bore it
thence in triumph"
Look here," hoWled the mans
ging editor wnen he reached this
point. whats all this got to do
with it?"
Anything the matter" inquired
the religious editor.
This is no way to write up q ball
MATCH" protested the managing ed.
itor.
tWhy not?" Indignantly demanded
the religious editor. whats the
matter with it? That's the way they
did it and that's my way of doing it
up"
But, man alive!" exclaimed his
"this reads like a sermon!"
VERY well, any objections to ser
mcns?" asked the religious editor,
tartly. ''If you don't like my style
of business you'd better send some
secular cuss to the next bali game"
Listen to this, mani" said the
manager, reading from the account:
''In this, the eleventh hour.
Brother Gilhooly esssyed through ef-
tectual shifting to turn back the
host that beset his brethren. aud
save unto Brother Murphy the rich
harvest of his frequent exertions by
welcoming him to the haven of the
home plate. But his enemies pre-
vailsd against him by mighty cast
of the bat they threw it with marvel
ous di.ectness unto one of their num-
Der, yea even unto him who was
upon the first of the bases, and he
smote Brother Gilhooly hip and
high, so that be fell, and the high |
priest called aloud in a great voice, |
laying, All out'P'
"That's all consistent with tie
acts" said the religious editor as
he managing editor looked up. "If
here's anything that aims SO I'll buy |
7ou new hail"
THAT'S all rightI' proclaimed |
he msnsging editor, ''but the stylel |
zee the style! 1t eounds like the
3iblel"
"Then it's the Bible you object to"
etorted the religious editor. II isn't
he game it's the Bible"
mo, no." protested the despair.
ng manager. "Not that. object
o applying the scriptural style to
ucn matters. Suppose a reporter
hould write up political meeting III
hat way:
Sour city was previously
blessed last evening by q richly
blessed and fervent meeting OF the
Mclaughlin democrats. Brother
i'm Dunno occupied the chief seat
md availed much III bringing perish
ng souls to more perfect under
landing of the grace and blessed
privileges of democracy as preached
y Brother Mclaughlin. The har-
'est vast pienteous, and though the
nammon of unIighteousness was in
trumental in exciting grievous dis
urbance over the contestiug delega-
ions from the First Weird, the Lord
vas with his people, and the labor.
'rs garnered-b0unteously and the
espers we're richly rewarded"
''How would that sound, eh!'
THAT sounds all right, commented
he religious editor. Don't see
out Of the way with that
it's true"
"But how many democrats would
understand it?'
"None' I suppose."
Sand how many persons who
Idmire base ball are going to under
tand your account of that game
Testerday?" demanded the manag.
no edifor. triinnnhantlv