Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-08-11
Orr KALEIDOSCOPE.


But not Deng blind,
lie soon changed hs mind
This cynical bachelor, Harry
Foxglovc is Tug Wilson's favorite po,y
says Judge.
Josh Bllingss Pulpit" is the name given
by the Rutland Historical Society to cur.
iousy- rounded knob of slate rock, some
twenty feet high at Mason's Point. Lake
Bomoseen, and the genial philosopher says
he hopes sometime to read from it hi, lee.
turc on "rhe Probability of Life"
A city hall clerk In San Francisco Ia said
TO label lis documents "Noal's Bees. be-
cause they are found among the archives.
From careful reading of numerous agri.
cultural exchanges the Cincinnati Gazette
gathers this information Unless there is a
two-wccks' raiu the corn will be ruined, If it
does rain the other crops will lie ruined.
OR KALEIDOSCOPE,
Kansas newspapers charge five dollars a
head Tor the announcement of candidates. II
the custom were in vogue hereabout, news.
paper men would at once spring INTO bound.
less wealth.
| Kentucky editor evidently newly mar.
ried announces with great glee that he bas
discovered why woman always leaves a big
margin at tie head and along the side of the
Shoe, sic s writing on, 1t is to finish her
letter on.
The Hedges family is the last one mention.
Ell which hue S25O Coz 900 waiting in Eng
land, to he divided among its members. The
Hedges will have thorny time getting it.
Tic Whitehall Times has discovered tia, In
life's great army TIE bummers are usually
found a, the front.
i fashion paper informs us that Mrs. T.. ID.
+. y. Lydia E. Pinkham Southworth is
spending the Summer Mt Yonkcrs, New
York
Cats have whiskcrs and old maids take to
them with fondncsstla. can not be explain.
ed says the New Orleans Picayune
Tue Chinese 'ay there are two good men
one dead, the other unborn.
Liquor works much evil which accounts
for the dealers wanting 10 rectify it. - Yonk.
6rS Std'Cmda.
a Methuen mau has named his dog Toy
Pistol. He says 1t is TO keep the children
away tom the mu2ze. - laurence Ameri-
can.
Jones, why do you send Your wash to
Chiiiaman y Jones-"l don't" you
don't:" Joncs-'No, he comes and gets it,"
l-I'hiladeiphia Sunday Star.
The men of Tarshish could not have made
much ont Of the voyage in which Jonah &C
companicd them for they were obliged to
throw the prophet overheard Boston C0nf-
ir
Cool stories come back frola the TriJ.
unes fresh-air children. One girl who came
upon some geese and chickens hadn't the
least idea what they were, "Oh look !" one
cried; there's apples on trees :" She had
never seen them except in trays at provision
shops: Another child stared delightcdly at
the grassLoppers jumping through the hot
meadows, Are they rabbits z" she asked
Another followed the farmer as he went out
for vegetables for dinner and came back ex-
cited to her companions, crying "He dug
the pertateis out of the ground and didn't
pay cent"
Next Is the month OF sep:embR
When we joyfully HE TO the restaurantR
And tell him to send by brisk watR
A plate well filled with the juicy oyst'R.
baltimore american.
Nantucket has girl pilot only seventeen
years old. Knows all the buoys in the sound,
you can bet. Harrington Hopkeye.
; People needn't wonder at the scarcity of
good servant girls, If a girl is good for any
thing some fellows going TO find it out and
marry her.-Bost0n Post
The quotation, There is always room a.
the top" does not hold good concerning q
White Mountain stage during the height of
the season.-BostoR Commercial Bulletin.
1t seems strange that the deaf -and.dumb
sign language has not come into more gener-
al use in polite society. 1t would be 80
handy at dinner parties for the man who
wants to talk with his mouth full.--LeioeH
citizen.
Singular-we don't suppose there is any
design in it, but it's a singular fact that the
medical colleges always hold their commence
meuts just before green apples are big enough
to wrestle and kick. Burlington Hank-
eye.
1t is very singular, but when person
working ont in the blazing hot sun wishes to
see how hot it is, he goes and looks at a Their
mometer hanging in the coolest, shadest place
in the back yard. On the face of this it looks
a trifle incongruous. In the Winter the coolest
place is hunted up for the thermometer
TnusrWt Herald.
The popular song entitled The Ring My
j Mother Wore" has given place to better
one by au ambitious music journalist, called
The Remark my Mother Made The re-
frain is us follows
"Old solomon was very wise,
And Caesar very great;
| Napoleon bls-for his size
Demoshenes could pirate;
But all their glory's but day
All now We great ones tade
But this reminds me, by the way.
OF a remark my mother made.
An Austin wagon dealer sold wagon TO a
granger living on Onion Creek, more than
tivc years ago. and has not got his money
yet. A few days ago the countryman came
TO town in that very wagon, and the wagon
man dunned him for the amount, saying,
You have had that wagon so long that it is
nearly worn out, and you have not paid for
it YET" "Yes, that's So retorted the coun-
tryman scornfully land here you come and
want me 10 pay as much for a WORKOUT old
wagon that has been 10 use five years as you
asked for it when it was new. Well, you
have got cheek. '-7eras Siftin9s
The other night an amateur prize fighter
was killed by a mule IN Fayetteville, Ark.
Bsrnum wants the mule, but the people of
the town are unwilling to part with him.
.irkdnMD Tragellr.
During the shower yesterday citizen car
rying very wet umbrella entered hotel to
pay call to some one ups stairs. After pla-
cling his umbrella where it might drain he
wrote upon piece of paper and pinned TO il
the sentence, IN b. This umbrella belongs
to man who strikes 250-pound blow-back
in fifteen Minutes ~ He went his Way m