The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-11-11
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

Most any man can grab a gun by
the muzzle and pull it over fence or
out of q boat, but the second or third
time will leave the gun without an owner
Detroit Free Press.
When man has a debt that he can
not pay short of three months, aud the
creditor is importunate, the only thing
for him to do is to make note of it
LoWeU Citizen.
The Englishman who addressed a
letter to The Picayune, Esq, New Or
leans" was not so far out of the way.
There are in this country good many
picayune esquires. louisville Courier
Journal.
Said q railroad engineer to an Irish
man, whose COW had been killed: "But
she didn't get out of the way when |
rang the bell" Faith, thin said
Pat, eye didn't shtop when she rang her
bell, naythur. "-HoteL Mail.
i say, when does this train leave?"
"What are you asking me for? Go to
the conductor; I'm the engineer" II
know you're the engineer; but you
might give civil answer" Yes, but
I'm not civil engineer"
"A woman in Marietta, Ga, killed
a large black snake, and observed that
1.-TWO live mice scampered out of the
snakes mouth" The killing of the
snake did not at all alarm this brave
woman, but the appearance of the mice
caused her to faint dead away.
"A physician who is vestryman in a
country church was called upon to sug-
gest remedy for reducing the swell of
the new organ, which had been pur-
chased, and which drowned the minis
ter's Amen" The wretched man pre-
scribed arnica. He had always used that
for reducing organ swelling.
An Illinois woman recently discov-
cred that her husband proposed to elope
with the housemaid. Did she weep and
shed tears and kick up fuss? Not
bit of it. She just wrote letter purport-
ing to arrange for her elopement with a
neighbor, and let it fall into his hands
And it about drove him wild. He fired
the servant girl out of the house, and SAT
up all night with a shotgun to shoot the
villain who was after his wife, and has
been since then the most devoted hus-
oand in Illinois. boston Post.
"A certain member of Parliament,
who owned extensive estates, was spend
ing few days at the residence of a
noble family. There were several inter
esting and accomplished young ladies in
the family, to whom the honorable mem
Der showed every attention. Just as he
was about to take leave the nobleman's
wife proceeded to consult him upon
matter which, she alleged, was causing
her no little distress. 1T is reported"
said the Countess, ''that you are to
marry my daughter Lucy and what
shall we do? What shall we say about
itP2 Co." responded the considerate
Nj. F., ''just say she refused metz
1t was in horse-car. She had been
away for several months and the chill
dren had gone to the depot to meet her.
they chatted away merrily. while she
palted their little heads and smiled in
teresteedly: Flows Mary?" she in
CURED when they both stopped for
breath. 80, she's well. She's taking
her music lessons right along" "And
Harry", He's going to school, started
last week" "And papa?" Hes well,
TOO He's having bully time. He said
ne dldn care if you didn't come back
for year" The PASSENGERS roared.
Grabbing the children with both hands,
she rushed to the door with an rll-gct-
eVen-wlth- him-for-this expression on
4 B race Heaven help him. --BaitimOre