Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-02-17
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WISDOM FOR CHICAGO INFANTs.-Is
this the Great Eastern? No; it is Gin
ciunati girls shoe. See how easy it is to
be mistaken.
How happy the Man looks. He is going
to have his Picture taken to send to his
Girl. Poor girl. how sad the Christmas
will be.
Here is poet. He is going up in the
Elevator. How happy he looks. Pretty
soon he will walk down looking very Sad.
He has seen the Editor.
See the Boot. How large and shiny it
is. A Man owns the Boot. Call on his
daughter some evening and see what it
was made for.
This is Horse. 1t can go very fast
The man who is standing by the Horse
looks sad. He is broke. Do not GO to
horse-races, Tommy, OF you will be broke
too.
What fine looking Old Gentleman. Is
he rich? Yes, he is very rich. See how
uCdlUly LIZ 1OOhos 11C W LII AOu OlO VI LII
largement of the Heart. He lives in Chi
cago.
Here is Miss Lucy. How proud and
fine she looks in her new Seal-skin Sacque.
1t cost Three Hundred Dollars. Lucy's
Father will Fail next week.
What have we here? It is Young
Man who wears yellow Ulster and
High Collar. Does he smoke Cigarettes?
Yes. Let US all take a kick at him.
The Man is at his Desk. He is an Edi-
Microscope. What does the Editor want
of a Microscope? He is looking for his
Salary.
This is Young Lady. She is sitting at
Piano, and will soon begin to sing Emp
ty Is the Cradle, Baby s Gone" Run away
quickly, children, and perhaps you will
miss some of it.
Where is Tommy? He is playing base
ball in the lot. Can Tommy play well?-
Yes, indeed, for he sometimes makes "a
Home Run. This is when his father heaves
in sight.
The Dog and the Cat are fighting. Is
this wrong? Yes, it is very wrong for the
Dog and Cat to fight. beca use. they are hot
married When you grow UP, children,
you will see the point of this Lesson.
What large Dog. He is going SWIFTLY
up the street. So is Tin Can. tits tied
to the Dogs tail. viii the Dog WIN the
race [ should smile. It is wrong to tie Il
Can on Dogs tail if the Owner of the
Dog catches you.-Denuer Tribune.
WHAT SHE sAwIN CHURCH.--He stayed
at home and she went to church after
dinner he asked her:
What was the text, May ?"
sob, something in Generation; have
forgotten the chapter and verse. Mrs.
Hight sat right before me with Mother
Hubbard bonnet on. How could 1 hear
anything when 1 could not see the minis
ter? wouldn't have worn such a looking
thing to church if l had to have gone bare
headed"
How did you like the new minister :"
''Oh heb splendid and Kate Dar5in Was
there in Spanish lace cape that new
cost less than $50; and they can It pay thti-
butchers bill, and I'd wear cotton lace Oh
go Without any first.''
did be say anything about the new
mission fund ?"
No and the Jones girls were all rigged
out in their silks made over, you would
have died laughing to have seen them
Such taste as those girls have and the min
lister gave out that the Dorcas Society vii
meet at sister Jones' residence-the old
poky place y
1T seems you didn't hear much of TIE
Sermon
''Well Pm sure it's better to go t.
church, If you don't hear the sermon. than
to stay at home reading the papers, and Oh
Harry the new minister has lovely voice,
it nearly puts me to sleep, and do tell
you that the Rices are home from Europe,
and Mrs. Rich had real cancels hair
shawl on, and it didn't look anything Oh
her,"
A long silence, during which Harry
thought of several things, and his wife was
busy contemplating the sky or view, then
she suddenly exclaimed:
There 1 knew I'd forget to tell you
something. Would you believe it, Harry.
the fringe on Mrs. Jones' parasol was
an inch deeper than mine and twice as
heavy Oh, dear what world of trouble
this ISL
A campaign lie is going the rounds of
the press to the effect that Sarah Bern
hardt hung up her stocking Christmas eve,
and next morning she found it badly burst
in several places, some one having damned
a lead pencil into it. Sarah says it was
not lead pencll-it was match. This
fashion of originating exaggerat ed stories
about public characters is all wrong, and
should be frowned down by free and un-
shackled press.
-''What is the number of your house,
Spicer ?n said the sage of Auburndale as
they rolled down town in the palatial
horse car. ''222," answered the inter-
rogated and the sage Widely remarked
That is utterly q" and save the silvery
ring of the bell punch, there was silence in
the gorgeous vehicle.
Esthetic Wife (sobbing)- dearest,
will, and [ will see that your grave is kept
green; also (refectingly), but not one of
those horrid bright colors. A nice olive
gray green, with an old gold tombstone,
will lock too awfully lovely for anything.
.'Eloise" asks if we will publish her po-
EN- on 1.-THE Wavelet of the Rivulet.''-
With smilelet upon our facelet, we reply
yeslet Write only on one -sidelet of the
sheetlet, Eloise, and put on enough stamp
let's. Your poemlet shall have spaeelet.-
Chicago Tribune.
Tyndall's theory that heat is simply mo-