The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-16
The Doubts and AnxIetles OF Brides
Expectant.

the train for Boston, when a woman, VINO
was probably born near the opening OF
the present century, came to me and
said
"You are stranger to me, sir.
eyes," replied, looking at her bon
net and wondering how many years old
it was.
81 am sorry" said she with sigh.
"Why SOP" said l.
"Because if felt acquainted I would
like to speak to you"
She had already spoken twice.
''Try and feel acquainted" said 1, en-
couragingly.
"Then you have no objection to me
telling you my story2"
"How many chapters are there?" in
CURED SIS it long or short?"
Short" she replied.
"Begin," said l. 1.-THE train will be
here soon."
81 am in Distress" replied the wo-
man.
"What caused it?" inquired, "mince
pie or cabbage?"
"Oh, no, nothing that ever eat hurts
"Ah, see. Your husband has left
YOU"
"No, that's not it. I never was mar
ried."
Indeed, then, you are not in the mar
ket."
This was a slight deviation from the
truth, for she was side of me in the de-
pot.
"Well mot exactly. am engaged, but
r bova IN iJao of broakinO off the n
gagement.
''Heartless wretch" thought I to my
self.
For what reason?" 1 asked.
because of something that I have
heard lately"
"What is it?" I inquired. eve have
not had any thunder storm lately"
mo; but hear that folks after they are
married grow to look like each other.
What do you think about it?"
Il haven't any money to put up on 1t"
I replied, "but yet it may be so. len
nyson advances some such idea as that, 1
believe. But what do you care II your
future husband grows to look like your"
"Grows to look like mel' she ex-
claimed. I wish he would. That is not
it at all. l am afraid l shall grow to
look like him."
"Ah, there's the rub said I, as the
woman rubbed the lobe of her left ear.
"But what will you do?"
"Why. he's all bent up with rheuma-
tism." replied the woman, land l am
sound in every timber"
"But rheumatism can be cured, re-
piled.
"More than that, he's bald-headed as
lol tho WnnlH
not look pretty without any hair?'
"On the contrary, think it would
rather detract from your charms" L re-
piled.
but this isn't all-he hasn't got
without teeth?'
bad" replied, looking through the
depot to see if the train wasn't coming.
more than this" said the woman,
"he's only got one leg"
probably the other is all right" said
/, trying to comfort her.
Yes" said the woman, "but he lost
one eye in the army"
Then you ought to marry him out OF
sympathy" said |, 'if for nothing else.
II can stand all this very well, re-
piled the woman, ''but there is one
tnlDE tnat cdn nOl ShuAiO", ohi eH"s 40
his nose"
"But why 90 you want top
"Want to what?"
"Why--swallow his nose"
81 mean" said the woman trying to
explain, that can't stand his nose-its
tremendous.
Large, You mean?'
"Yes, perfectly friGhtful!'
Mature remembered you in that di-
rection," said l.
She had as big nose as l ever saw on
a person of her size.
No, I've got a good big one myself,
but there isn't any wart on 1t, said the
woman.
"None that / can see,' 1 replied.
"Well, that's the trouble; he has got
big nose and a wart on the end OF
that
unfortunate" said I.
IT want to give you a conundrum,
said the woman. when he goes to
take glass of water, which do you think
strikes the liquid first. his lips or his
nose?"
His lips, OF course" said l, starting
for the train, which had arrived i'll the
station, and was on the point of starting.
mo, sir" she replied, that wart
does"
ASH took hold of the door-knob the
woman shouted:
''Shall I marry him or not?'
l.. - L.. 30 lxrto va