Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-02-19
HUMOR.

What is the difference between cotton
and woolt Give it up, ehs Well, one is
grown down South, and the other is
grown on South Down.
At the restaurant. Waiter-What
wine will you have, sir, white or redi
Guest-I don't care cent which. Waiter
Neither do 1, Sir! White or reds
George" she said, s'hand me the may
noo." ''The which, ma?" 'The n,ayr,oe,
DEAR "The what?' "Oh, you stupid,
give me the bill of fare and be quiet"
A young man who, don't like the color
of his hair wrote to chemist asking,
"What is the best dying receipe!" The
chemist wrote back, "Fool with a loaded
gum"
'sMr. Smith," said lady at fair,
swon't you please buy this bouquet to
present to the lady you lover" cit
wouldn't be right" said Mr.. Smith; 'I'm
married man."
"Our hearts, our thoughts, our very
beings grow tender with age" said the
poetic landlord. eyes," said the bearder,
who was battling with piece of fowl,
ssbut hens don't''
Jones, who is driving an omnibus up
street, overtakes Brown, who is walking,
and he sings out: "Hold up" What's
up?" "GOing upa" sJump up "Up?"
eyes, Pm up" ''Git up''-and drives
on.
The D Is of Yankee girl are very
small, tapering, and beautifully shaped;
her II are as beautiful as the II. and she
is without a 4; her frown is f., and her
figure excites of surprise and ham
kering ~ her.
"Waiter," said he, examining bis reed
bird critically, 81 should judge from the
bill that this was an English sparrow"
He finished and was handed his check.
After glance he remarked: "Waiter, 1
was wrong-judging from the bill that
was Pompeiian nightingale"
Newspaper The origin of the word
newspaper" is not, as many suppose,
from the fact of its containing new
things; but in former time {1795 to 1830)
it was customary to put on the periodical
publications of the day the initial letters
of the compass, N. E. W. S., to show
that the journal had information from
all quarters of the globe, north, east, west,
and south Hence the use of the word
''news" before all papers of general in
formation.
A Chicago man visiting Cincinnati was
being shown around by citizen, who
said, CHOW let's go and see the Widows
Home" The Chicago man put his fin
ger On the side of his nose and wlnked,
and then said, "Not much, Mary Ann. 1
saw widow home once and it cost me
$4,000. She sued me for breach of
promise and proved it on me. Ne, sir;
send the widows home in hack. Mil
waukee Sun.
''Where has the summer gone2" sighed
Flora, combing the bangs on Charles
ear-locks. And Charles, looking dream
lily out over the stumbled hay fields, said,
wistfully, ri reckon it's gone to grass"
Thus one by two the onions fade, swlg by
swig the Jug runs dry, year by year it's
changing grade, brand new chickens
wink and cry. Please sing without lin
ing.
A newly married pair on their wedding
tour, stopped at the Hotel Bennett, Bing-
hamton, N. Y, and being given room
was escorted to the elevator to save them
the work Of climbing the stairs. After
viewing the interior of the little room in
the elevator, the groom stepped out and
asked the clerk if he took him for
greenhorn. The cterk replied IN the
negative. 'Then give me room with
bed in it," replied the unsophlsticated
young man. Matters were explained, and
the elevator shot upward to the third
story.