Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1882-01-19
THE FSCHRISTMAS STORY.
And the Difficulties he Encountered in tell
ing it to the BOy's-A Hunter whose Hair
Turned White in a Single Night.

And the Difficulties he Encountered in tell
ing it to the Boys-A Hunter whose Hair
Turned White in a Single Night.
Eighty years ago on Christmas eve, said
the sheriff, Uncle Peleg Underhill's grand
fathers hair turned as gray IS badger"
1t was II o'clock p. m. The Crissman
House was closed, and the lights we're
turned out, but some Of the boys were lin
gering by the genial new base burner stove,
where they had been exchanging experiences
during the evening. The stove was radi-
ant. Its beams fell warmly on the dog
Caesar on the floor. They lit the jovial face
of the county clerk as the early sunbeams
illume the tin rooster on the hotel barn,
and kissed the nose of the sheriff until it's
reflected light surrounded him with halo
of glory They eloTed on the decanters
back of the bar with a soft intensity that
emphasized the labels, and they even
climbed to the mo trust" sign, and clothed
it with SO kindly CLEAN that it appeared
no longer stern reality, and carried terror
to none--not even the foreman of the print
ing Office reclining OH the coal box, back in
the shadows.
Eighty years ago!" unused the sheriff.
Els -h-t-y-y-e-a.r-s-a The poet
says. old age comes on apace,' but it
seems to me as if ne was bowling along
this way on gallop. Age may be crown
of glory, but I notice that youth hangs up
the most yenison."
WELL" said the county clerk, did age
pounce down upon Uncle Peleg Under
hills grandfather all in one night and turn
him gray? What business had he to be
Uncle Pelegs grandfather, or anybody
else's grandfather, anyhow, unless he was
gray when he started in on the grandfather
business?"
But hold on! Hold on!" said the sher-
if. II havn't told you about it yet. Un-
Gle Peleg's grandfather was only % years
old when"
"Stop!" said the ex-poundmaster as he
got up and began to button his overcoat.
stop, sheriff; that'll do! I've heard you
tell about catfish climbing trees and pickerel
burrowing through ten-acre lots to get from
one pond to another, and have never for q
moment doubted your thruthfulness. I've
told those stories to my children, and when
they have pulled down their under eyelids
and asked me if saw anything green, I've
reproached them for the implied doubt,
telling them that you had seen those things,
and they we're consequently true. But
sheriff, in presenting me with a man 90
years old as o grandfather, you are asking
too much Of me at my time of life. I now
begin to doubt even the climbing catfish
and ray faith in the burrowing pickerel is
wavering Sheriff, it is sad thing when
one friend loses confidence in another
Good night, boys. I 60 home sadder,
but wiser man."
"Poundmaster," said the sheriff, I'm
touched" And the sheriff pressed his
hand to his head. Then, thinking the
movement might be misconstrued among
the boys, he removed it quickly, and laid
it on his chest How sharper than a SER
pent's tooth it is to be called a liar by a
man you darsnt hit!' he said bitterly.
But stay. Uncle Pelegs grandfather
wasn't his grandfather then. You Sec"
''But YOU said he was his grandfather, %
urged the poundmaster. DO you take it
back then, and admit that you were lying
to us?"
You see" said the sheriff, not commit
ting himself. "You see he got to be Uncle
Peleg's grandfather, because he was Uncle
Peleg's grandfather finally. See?"
The poundmaster shook his head sadly,
and sat down again.
''Then that spoils the whole story" said
the county clerk. "You said Peleg s grand.
fathers hair turned gray in a single night
Now, that would be something worth istend
ing to. IF the old gentleman's hair turnes
gray all at once, that goes to say that hid
hair wasn't gray before, unless it was dyed
and he lost his hat in a shower. Now a
grandfather without gray hair was just an
immense thing to commence Christmas
story with. But it turns out that there
wasn't any grandfather at all, and if there
was any grandfather, where are you going
to get your gray hair? The next time you
intend to get your line work in on a grand
so41 c+o oh t,v RI >1o1y
year older off On us for the old man."
TRY it the other way, Sheriff, suggested
the district attorney. Cant you make
it come out right by telling how your grand
fathers Uncle Peleg Underhilps hair
turned gray in single night? Mebbe
thatI fix it.
But my grandfather didn't have any
Uncle Peleg Underhill, said the
sheriff.
II tell you what to d." said the pound
master, who disikes dispute. Begin the
story, Once upon time etc. It'll
straighten out as you CO.
Eyes, said the district attorney; land if
you could work in couple Of ghosts right
near the start, and kill some one in a dark,
deep hollow, we'd like it,"
The foreman of the printing Office come
out from among the shadows and took a
seat in the glow of the base burner. He
said it was too cold on the coal box.
But there amt any ghosts in this story, :"
SAID the sheriff, "and no .one gets muir
dered"
The foreman Of the printing Office went
back to the shadows. He said it was too
hot by the base burner.
II have an impression" continued the
sheriff, "that there is the suspicion of an
m, tho mart of tha oiro7o Sbic
evening to infer that do not intend to
lay this story out with the aid Of straight
edge. Gentlemen, I am deeply hurt
With what good reason let my witness be a
simple statement Of the facts in the case of
Uncle Peleg's grandfather. Poetic license