Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-05-21
Two Old Physicians,

The other night Drs. Snort and Blk
ms, two Of the oldest physicians in the
country, met at hotel in Cleveland.
They were on a journey, and their meet
ing was accidental.
"We must occupy the same room, !"
insisted DIR. Snort. "It has been so long
since I met an old-time doctor that the
occasion shall retain pleasant mem
cries"
"Nothing would give me greater
pleasure, answered DR.. Bilkins. SIT is
pleasant to meet a genuine physician. F"
The two old men were shown to q
room, where, with a bright fire, they
built an addition to an acquaintance be-
gun when Ohio was not regarded as the
great State of Presidential production.
"Therc are great many tricks in the
medical profession now, said DR.. Snort;
"these upstart doctors are killing the
people off at shameful rate"
It wasn't so in our day" replied DR..
Bilkins "a boy 10 years of age wasn't
engaged as family physician then"
"No; nor there wasn't that jealousy
existing between doctors that you find
now. It's all right to talk about enter
prise and young blood, but doctor
should not be too enterprising.
After talking until the fire had burned
out, the two friends retired.
"Speaking about young doctors, :"
said DR.. Snort, "I have always held that
the best physician is hewho has the age.
It is all practice anyway, and believe
that 5O-year-old doctor is more reli-
able than one 40 years old.
eyes" said Bilkins, "but after they
pass 80 it doesn't make much differ
ence."
eyes, it does. A 55-year-old doctor
is naturally more reliable than one so
years old
CHOW, here" said BiIkins, "you say
that just because I'm so, and you are
about 55."
"No, I didn't think Of the difference
in our ages. However, In our case it is
Different"
"Don't try to crawl out of it, doctor,
you meant it as an insinuation. You
can't pull the wool over my eyes, for /
can doctor the life out of you any time.
"No doubt of it. Let's go to sleep"
'"Sleep, the deuce" said Bilkins,
turning over. "Stir man up and then
tell him to go to sleep! I want you to
understand that I stand higher as
physician than you do"
"No use to talk that way when you
know that I can doctor the socks off
YOU
"That's the trouble. You can doc
tor the socks off anybody. I suppose
you are not aware that Bilsley tells it all
around the neighborhood that you killed
his wife,"
"See here" snarled Snort, "you are
too Internal insolent for an old man. I
never intended to say anything about it,
but know one thing concerning your
medical career that is blot on the pro-
fession. You poisoned Glaxon's child
cut Of pure ignorance.
"You are a rheumatic old Liar !" ex-
claimed Bilkins, springing up. "You
are wheeling old scoundrel."
ssYou old carrion crow!" yelled
Snort, s'I wouldn't take that from my
father"
'sTake your hands of. I'll punch
the life out of you. Take that" howled
DuklIlS, iS ue 5tIuCh tuo Will Will HIS
fist.
Then they grappled, and began
mouth-to-mouth engagement. They
rolled out of bed, got up, braced, Crap
pied and fell again Finally the night
porter broke open the door, rushed in
and Lit the gas. Snort stood in one cor
ner of the room, holding chair. DR..
Bilains stood on the bed with boot in
his hand.
"Drive that mailman out !" ex-
claimed Snort. He has been trying
to murder me-
"He is an old liar" vociferated
Bilkins; che tried to poison me. Shoot
him. Call the police and let them kill
him."
Several men, disturbed by the noise,
entered the room, and the two old friends
were compelled to occupy different
apartments. The affair has created a
profound sensation, and warrants OF ar
rest have been issued for the old-time
physicians. Cleveland Leader.