Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-08-02
SPICE AND ALLSPlCE.


ton Traveller calls him.
ALMOST anybody can run into debt;
but nearly everybody has to crawl out
of it.
ENGLAND is now the big "bob-tailed
horse" Who will beat on the hey ?"-
Inter- Ocean.
81 AM saddest when [ sting" muir
murs the mosquito. CONNER
ciGJ Bulletin.
WHEN a clock strikes it goes right on
with It's work. When men strike they
stop, as a rule.
A TAILOR would make an evenIy-bal-
men and measures. -PkjL0deEl0bi0 -BuE-
let592.
WHILE the British were Smelling Alex
andr1a, we more practical Yankees con-
tinued Smelling peas and peanuts
NeaU York NeaO8.
CAPT. MURRAY calls his steamship
Alaska " the greyhound of the Allan
tic" She is probably bark rugged
Boston transcript.
The New Orleans Picayune tells of a
certain sea-shore resort where nothing
but small beer can be bought. This is
said to be shore pop.
FROGS are so thick in some of the
ponds of Kansas that they have to take
turns sitting In the grass all night
Detroit Free Press.
''MR. D., if you'll get my coat done
by Saturday, shall be forever Indebted
to you" eff that's your game, in won't
be done, " said the tailor.
A GEORGIA woman applied at furni-
ture store for tombstone bureau. Skill
full inquiry finally elected than what she
wanted was bureau with marble top
DON'T read a word about the bonn
bardment, and I shan't. It's all "men-
of-war!" "men-of- war! I say, give
the wOmen-of-war q chance!-SuS0y1 Il.
anthony.
SAY, when boy standing on his head
looks at his feet, does he look up or
down? Hey? Take that to the Smith
sonian Institute and ponder over it,
H0Ukeye.
AT st. Cloud traveller asked at what
time the little steamers left. 'sEvery
ten minutes, " was the answer, s. mon
sieur will not have to wait over quarter
of an hour"
IRIS just as we expected. Had the
Egyptians kept Cleopatra's needle at
home, instead of getting q sewing-ma-
chine, all 1qight have been Well.-OI
City Blizzard.
In Egypt:
The khedive in his harem SITS
And things go haFum scaru1n
The sultan gets insultan notes,
And has to sit and barum.
Baltimore american.
A VERMONT man has invented a gun
which will send bullet through niLe
men standing one behind the other.
During battle men always stand thus
to let the enemy have fair pop.
An exchange devotes three quarters of
a column on When to Cut Timothy"
The best advice on the subject can be
given in few words, VIZ, cut him when
he's broke.-Cin. Saturday Night.
THERE are not few people in the
community who are morally in the cha
otto condition of the boy who wrote in a
composition 81 would rather be a
pollywog if was a rhinoceros, though
if [ was [ suppose wouldn't. .
The Denver Tribune thinks Our navy
is 'Eal right" It says: " Bill Chan
der had the marines all out yesterday
firing at a mark on the Potomac flats.
Several COWS on the Alexandria side
were hit, and persisted miserably, Brit
ISL exchanges please copy"
"AND so you are married ?'' said one
old acquaintance to another, at the
Markham House yesterday. "Quite
SO, was the reply; 81 have been mar
ried more than year" GAS long as
that?" eyes, indeed; quite as long.
I am now first walking gentleman to
double-jointed boy baby. Come down
and see me.-AtJantn Constitution.
A MICHIGAN man who was pursued by
a bull, escaped probably terrible
death by splitting tobacco juice in the
animals eyes. On the strength of this
the Detroit Free Press advises: Don't
let anybody make you believe tobacco is
unhealthy apparently forgetting that
it was very unhealthy for the bull
NOrraStoaO2l Herald.
A FARMERS Will was presented for pro-
bate cit was in old days. to an arch
deacon during his visitation. He found
name scratched out. The widow
stepped forward and explained: "Iten
you bow he be, sir, When we comes to
look into the will we sees ESQ left to
John Wheeler. What's he got to do
with masters money! says [. So I
gets knife and US scratches him out,
and that's just how be be, sir. Moo
tey'S Oxford "reminiscences.
TEXAS paper: They were raised here
in Austia, but she did not know much
about gardening; at the same time, she
did not care to expose her ignorance to
her husband. They had only been mar
ried short time when he said: CT
notice the asparagusis about ripe; don't
you want to go out into the garden and
get some % She replied: "I'll tell
you what we will do. We will go out
together. You climb up and shake the
tree, and I'll catch them in my apron as
they fall"
SOMETIMES it is not judicious to be too
particular in locating local occurrences,
SO we will merely say that the following
conversation was heard in certain store
in Oil City. A young lady was looking
at some hosiery, and asked the blushing
clerk. ssH0w do Won sell those ?" at