davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-05-27

-Br0ther Z. >. DUglas, Of me Em-
erson { Manitoba international and
former publisher Of TIMES, was visit
ing his old Superior friends this week
We have been reading the Interna-
tional for some months, but never
dreamed that lis editor was our old
friend, that we knew and worked with
ten years ago, down in Minnesota, and
il WAS pleasant surprise to us when
we met him. We hope he may find
it conveniet TO visit Us again soon
when he can stay little longer, for
we didn't have half visit with him.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-05-27
NOTTTFI

I. o. Address, Superior, Wisconsin.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
Funny Faneies,

Bachelor Jones: "The state would be
better off if every Cbinanan was kicked
out of it to-morrow." His married friend:
Where would yoN get your washing done
then?" Bachelor Jones: Marry some
nice girl and have it done at home"
Chorus by six eligible young ladies who
happened to overhear Jones and his friend
talking: "The Chinese must go"
When Boston girl is presented bou-
quet. she says: 'oh, how decidedly sweet
Its fragrance impenetrates the entire at
mosphere OF the room." A Kansas girl
simply saws: az smells scrumptious;
thanks, Reuben.-Denuer Tribune.
Practical young belle to utterly utter young
man: "Algernonr' "What is it, my PEN
sive lily?" You ought to study mp the
the theory of ensilage, Algernon." aAnd
what is ensilage, my languid one?" oh,
it shows how to keep green things green till
the winter is gone, Algernon, and dom You
wish to live till spring, Algy?" The cold
wintery air, from the hastily raised window,
blew ACROSS the sun lowered dado, and Al
eernon revived sufficiently to be taken home
in Herdic. But two young hearts on the
Back Bay will never beat in unison.-
Boston Herald.
A few mornings ago the occupants OF o
Metropolitan car were greatly amused by
the entrance of q we'll dressed old lady,
"Well, don't see but you're full enough
here!" Immense efforts to restrain laugh
ter on the part of passengers, during which
elderly gentleman politely offers old lady
his seat. "Lor, YOU needn't get up FOL
me-" as she drops into the proffered seat
Turning to lady at her side she bawled
out, af don't see where all these folks
come froml I keep snug at home; aim
been down town this winter; been wei
enough, though"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

A writer in the Boston Economist on the
subject of goldit derives good deal Of sat
fatcion in comparing the present produc-
tion of the precious metal with the produc-
ton of former periods. The amount of
gold at the beginning OF the Christian era,
the writer says, is estimated at $527 100000
When America was discovered this sum
had dwindled to $58. coo, 900; in 1000 it had
grown to $105, ,000, 600; at the beginning Of
the next century it was 81, 1,125, 900, 900; in
1853. So. COG, 900, 600, and now the grand to-
tal is believedto be 81 895, COG, 600. The val
ma of the gold and silver Of the world is
named at S13, PIG, 900, 600. The magnitude
of the value Of the sum is almost beyond
human conception, and yet If this grand to-
tai of precious metals were melted togeth-
ar a cubic block could be formed the di-
mensions of which would not be much over
one hundred and fifty feet. The annual
production of gold about 1892 was but
100000. The subsequent discoveries In
Mexico and Peru swelled this comparative
bapatelle into the millions, until in 1900 the
annual proouction amounIeu W @lf'1Vo,-
OG6. and in 1853, after the California discov-
cries, to 1926, 900, 600. This production
WAS the maximum. 1t is now only about
half what it was twenty seven years ago.
The total amount Of precious metals OBJ
tanned from the earliest date down to the
present time is estimated at 1926, ,673, ,374,
600. The difference between this total and
the ga, 3,276, ,OOC, 900 is put down as the
waste.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
FtOrence'S First Letter.

From the Boston Saturday Evening Gazette
Here is the best specimen Of precocity
We have known. The letter was received
by prominent gentleman of Boston, and
the handwriting, though in printing, was
strongly suggestive Of his SON. n-law:
January 90, 1881.
DEAREST GRANDPA: I was a week old
yesterday afternoon, and pa said if I was a
good girl last night that 1 might write let
ter TO my own grandpapa to-day. l was
good last night, and mamma had a good
night. and she and are both doing well. I"
Papa is doing well too. like my two
grandmammas quite too utterly much. E. I
want to see my grandpapa, and see if he is
really and truly an elderly gentleman" as
mammals mamma says he is. like your
picture ever so much, dear grandpaEa, and
don't think you look elderly at all. Mamma
says you are coming to see me- soon, and
am SO glad. I want you to come as soon as
you can, and stay long time and you and
can talk over old times together. Won't
that be previously precious2 They haven't
told you anything about me in their letters
TO you, so l am just going to tell you about
myself. I have blue eyes, and hair of au-
burn hue. I am perfect in all respects,
physically and intellectually (papa taught lac
those two big words this morning). I eat
great deal, and nurse says am little
pig. sleep some, but don't cry at all, ex-
cept when very hungry. I lave one N
nose, two (2) eyes, two (2I ears. one %
mouth, ten Q0} fingers and ten Q0) toes.
l lake an inventory every morning to see
that they are all right. Now, I went to
send my love to all my nice relations. and
I must stop, because | am tired. l shall
be 80 glad when you come. We are all
we'll and happy. hope you will love me,
dear grandpapa, as much as love you. and
that you will soon ans wor this first letter
from your loving granddaughter,
FLORENCE.
P. Saint you clad I'm girl?
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
St0neWaIl JackS0n'S TOGly.

Col A. c. Botsler in the Phila. Weekly Tiules.
Having fingered to the last allowable mo.
ment with the members of my family
"hereinbefore mentioned"--as the legal
documents would term them-it was after
10 o'clock at night when I returned to
headauarters for final instructions, and be-
fore going to the generals room ordered
two whisky toddies to be brought up after
me. When they appeared offered one of
the glasses to jackson, but he drew back,
saying:
"Ne, no, colonel, you must excuse me; I
never drink Intoxicating liquors."
"I know that, general" said I, "but,
though you habitually abstain, as 1 do my
self, frem everything of the sort, there are
occasions. and this is one of them, when n
stimulant will do us both good; otherwise
I would neither take it myself or offer it to
you. So you must make an exception to
your general rule and join me in q toddy
to- night.
He again shook his head, but, neverthe
less, took the tumbler and began to sip its
contents. Presently putting it on the table
after having partly emptied it, he said:
"Colonel, do you know why habitually
abstain from Intoxicating drinksP' And,
on my replying in the negative, he contin-
ued:
aWhy, sir. because I like the taste Of
than, and when discovered that to be the
case made up my mind at once to do with
out them altogether"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
The Late Chinese Professor at Harvard.

Mr. BENJAMIN r. Curtis writes of the late
Chinese professor at Harvard college:
"On one occasion asked him to accompany
me to meeting Of the Papyrus club.
sent him an invitation through the mail.
By return of post received a.rePly envel-
oped in the Chinese style, and written in
his own hand on Chinese letter paper. At
the appointed time he called at my house.
and We walked together to the rooms OF the
club. He met the members without the
slightest embarrassment, and took his seat
at the head Of the table with dignity. At
the conclusion of the dinner the president
introduced him to the club and he rose to
reply. How many Americans would like to
stand up at q dinner in China before fifty Of
its literary and professional men? Prof.
Ko first made short speech Of introduction
in good English; he was hardly at loss for o
word. He then read poem in Chinese
from manuscript and then sat down. The
whole performance was deliberate, quiet,
and easy. So much did be please the COM
pany, that they urged him, by hearty ap-
pIause to address them again. He rose
again, and recited from memory one OF his
own poems. Then, bowling his farewell to
the club, and taking leave of the president,
he retired"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
Terms: s2.oo per Year In Advance.

The report of the state school superin-
tendent of New York shows that for ten
wears the average attendance of children
upon the public schools has been pretty
steadily falling Off relatively to the increase
OF the state population. In 1875 the at
tendance averaged $1,000 over million;
IN 1877, $1,000; in 1878, $4,000; in 1870
$4,000; in 1880, 81 200, and in 1881 only
$4,000. The falling off is attributed to two
causes; general pres perity, which leads
people to take their children from the
schools and set them to work, and the in
creased number of private schools; but
neither of these alleged causes are general.
ly accepted. 1t is asserted that dissatisfac-
tion with public schools, especially in rural
communities, is largely due to the persis-
tent efforts of people to use the schools for
the propagation of isms and ideas which
are foreign to their object.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

THE mad rush for Office in Washington
is represented as something extraordinary.
The passage of resolution in the senate
for half dozsn additional messengers,
brought out hosts Of women, who beseiged
senators in behalf OF their brothers, sons
or husbands, as the case might be, and also
for themselves. These women were vii.
ling to take almost any position, however
humble, and pleaded with tears in thel1
eyes. David Davis, president pro TEN. of
the senate, though he has no offices in his
Gift, was bored until late hour with their
piteous solicitations, and to group Of
three he said, in substance: Why do you
permit yourselves to be placed in the igno-
minous position of coming here, begging
fayors Of the government, where there are
thousands ready to crowd you to the wall
and fight you for every favor that you ask?
You all look intelligent. Why do you not
90 out and learn to become cooks, house
keepers, chambermaids. if you please, and
then you will be certain of good home
and independence. People will then be
running after you, instead Of you runnipg e
after them, and the position of respecta-
BILE servant in good family is one infinite
Iy to be preferred to that of hanging to
some beggarly Office, dependent on the
whim or will of some buleaucrat.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
How Temperance Meeting Saved Him.

The Lewiston Journal is responsible for
the following: At one of the local tenn
perance meetings Sunday, speaker in
dwelling upon the degradation caused by
the appetite for liquor, said he knew man
who drank to such an extent that his whole
person seemed impregnated with alcohol;
his lungs, even, became so charged with it
that in blowing ont candle one day his
breath took fire as if it were naphtha. At
the conclusion of these remarks blear-
eyed and ragged man staggered forward
from the rear of the hall. The audi
ence room was packed. People standing
in the aisles made a passage way for the
cropping inebriate. All present thought an
other reformation was to come, and that the
trembling old topper was on his way forward
TO sign the iron clad pledge. The people
on the siege stood ready to welcome him
gladly. The besotted and rum poisoned
appearance of the old fellow made q sad and
quieting appearance on the crowd, and the
utmost silence prevailed. He pushed his
way along to the place where the last speak
er sat- With trembling voice and sway
ing body be said: my fren' (hic) want to
shake hands with you. You've saved me
(hic). [Applause from the audience Ill
sw'ar to ye, (hic) stranger that I'll never blow
out another candle as long as liye." The
benches could not help exploding in roars
of laughter at this quaint and unexpected
eli ak, although the scene furnished an
other terrible warning of the dangers Of in
temperance.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
WA wASHINGToN.

There has been Q, nsiderable opposition
worked up in the house to the bill to retire Gen.
Grant, and appearances are that the democrats
will unite to oppose There is a good deal of talk
of semi republican opposition, but it is thought
in some quarters that the course OF the demo-
Gratis taking stand against 1t as If to make 1t
party measure, will have the effect of uniting
the republicans in it's favor Its passage how
ever, will be strongly rested.
2 Secretary Hunt received the following cable
from Hoffman ut ST. Petersburg: jackson
telegraphs that an oculist says Donsnhauer
should not start till warmer weather, as 1t is
dangerous now. Shall men start without him?"
Secretary Hunt telegraphed Hoffman in reply
to notify Donenhaur 20 remain until fully able
to leave without danger and for the rest Of the
party to delay their departure till the time.
The commissioner Of the general land Office
has rejected the application for patent to the
Troy lode mine of Colorado, on the ground that
the original locator was an alien and that the
discovery shaft was within patented ground and
because claim had been patented, covering
the premises midway between the side lines.
Commissioner of Internal Revenue Raum
authority for the statement that during Febru-
ary there WAS a decrease in Internal revenue
receipts of 1924, ,65O.12, which is unpre-
cedented in this branch of the fervice. He eas-
signed as a cause for this falling off the agita-
ton ali over the country for the repeal Of the
tax Oh whisky, tobacco and other articles.
The controller of currency has declared a
second dividend of 20 per cent in favor of the
creditors of the Mechanics National bank of
Newark. amounting to$521, ,715. The amount
of both dividends as per cent? declared in ia
vor of the creditors of the bank, since its failure
II November last is 81, 173, $50.
1t is understood that Judge Advocate Gene
raj Swain, in his review Of Lieut. Fipper's
case, recommends that less serious punish
ment than dismissal be imposed. 1t is thought
that the president and secretary of war favor
the lighter punishment
The president has nominated Cornelius A.
Logan, of Illinois, envoy extraordinary and
minister plenipotentisry to Chilli and John B.
Weaver, Of North Carolina, United States coun-
sci to Bahia
1t is every day growing more evident that
there will be no tariff legislation this session.
A democrat will succeed the late Senator
Wagner st Albany
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

whole country in 1881 was TO- bushels, the
lowest on record. The highest average in the
list Of States was 1873 bushels in Colorado,
followed by 1S bushels in Vermont. while the
lowest yield was only g. bushels per acre in
Louisiana AS small as the yield was in the
majority of the southern States it was but little
less than the average in some of the western
States, as in Iowa the average was only q
bushels, in Missouri s. g. and in Nebraska z. l.
The high yield in the New England States of all
grains is doubtless due to more thorough cul-
tivation than is given to cereals in other parts
of the country r I'll E.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
Something about the .sOldest Mason. y

Az the oldest Mason is dying very nu-
merously these days, an organ of the order
prints the following table for the guidance
of obituary writer's, the dates signifying the
year of initiation: "Col. Nathan Huntoop,
Unity, N. H., 1903; James Franklin Chase,
Nantucket, 1907; Captain Sylvanus Hatch,
Chocolate, Calhoun county, 1909; Wait
Garret, New Hartford, Conn, 1810;-
knight, Dever, England. January, 1911;
Silas Ford, Westville, Conn.,, 1911; Philip
Chetham, Stockport, England, 1911; the
Hon. James Garland, Lynchburg, Va,
1872; James Scott, Middlebourne, 1872;
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
she Probably Did Not Say IRIS.
ron, the yicksburp miss. Herald.


The papers have said SO much about
Mary Anderson's limbs being attenuated
that she told an interviewer her opinion OF
her own defects, She says: II am aware
of the fact that would not appear to ad-
vantage in the ballet, but God gave me
alent, and expected na ture to do the bal
ance, and if nature made o failure OF her
part, am I to blame for it2 Is it just 70
criticise faults over which I have no con-
trolp Criticise my acting, my voice, my
gestures, anything you will, only please
don't allude to nv limbs" Long ago we
advised newspaper men TO keep their hands
off this subject, and to attend strictly to
Mary's voice and gestures. We do not care
il her legs are like corrugated copper light
ming rods, and bowed like q parenthesis.
her art is what touches us. Her soulful
syes, and mouth full Of Wlm, are enough TO
make man strike his parents
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

The price of corn was greatly enhanced by
the heavy decrease in yield, and hence the ag-
gregate value of the crop WAS $3.50, 49,, no.
or more than in any preceding year, while the
combined value of all cereals was likewise the
largest on record, exceeding the value OF 1880
by 800, 100000. Notwithstanding a decline
in the total yield of Coo, 900. coo bushels
While the reduction of product of corn in the
seven surplus yielding States amounts to about
four-tenths OF the usual crop, the aggregate
still equals 62 per cent of the crop of the
country, leaving as the production of the other
thirty-one States and the ten Territories but
three -eighths of the corn product The yield
per acre, which should be 3Obnshels in year
of moderate production, was only 21.3 bush
els, but this is larger than the average yield of
the remaining States, which is 15.4 bushels.
The price per bushel in these soven States was
% cents, against 81 cents in the remaining
States. The following table gives the States
producing surplus Of corn:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
GRAIN PRODUCTS FOR 1881.

Statistics Showing u Great Decrease in Yield
but Increase In Prices, Especially in Corn
Iowa and Illinois Showing the Greatest De-
crease in Production-The Average Yield of
Wheat the Lowest on Record.
Special Correspondence Of the Pioneer Press
BALTIMORE. Feb. 2S.-The final esti-
mate Of total yield Of cereals in
1881, as lately furnished to the associated
press, has already been published, but the de-
tails for the years crops have not yet been
given to the public. From the advance sheets
Of the forthcoming report of the agricultural
department. l have boon able to compiled gen.
eral statistical review of the production of
grain in 1881 which may prove of interest
The aggregate quantities, areas and valuations
for the year were as follows:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

On Saturday W. l. Eaton of Uhaska was ar
rested on charge of assault with intent to
commit rape. He is accused OF having enticed
several little girls Of about the age of seven or
eight years into his tin shop and having there
tried to crafty his bestial lust upon their per-
son.
Mr.. G. Demeules OF New Munich, Stearns
county, died Of small pox On the 10th inst
he was o brother of A. J. Demeules Of
Sank Rapids and J. l. Demeules Of st Paul
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
SIT is Curing Eyerybody,

writes druggist. Kidney Wort is the most
popular medicine we sell" 1t should be by
right, for no other medicine has such specific
action on the liver, bowels and kidneys. II
You have those symptoms which indicate bill.
iousness or deranged kidneys do not fail to pro-
cure it and use faithfully. In liquid or dry
form il is sold by all druggists. Salt Lake
City Tribune
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

The New York Frening Post recently
sent ont circular note, addressed to forty
clergymen of various denominations in that
city, asking for their views as to more
liberal use of Sunday by opening the pub
lie libraries, museums, and art galleries on
that day to the people. Twenty. two of the
number made no reply at all, apparently be-
ing unwilling to commit themselves. OF
the remainder five answe. ed favorably, one
approves it with!certain qualifications, and
twelve are hostile to it. 1t is regarded as
an astonishing feature ofour civilization that
saloons, theatres and gambling dens should
be allowed full swing on Sunday in New
York, and museums, libraries and art gall
leries should be closed against the people.
OF course the clergy are not responsible
either for the license or the restriction;
neither can it be said with certainty that
opening libraries and galleries of art would
result in deserted slloons-but there
would be tendency in that direction.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
ShreNdness ana Ap1IItY.

Hop Bitters SO freely advertised in all
the papers, secular and religious, are hav-
ing large sale, and are supplanting all
other medicines. There is no denying the
virtues Of the hop plant, and the proprie-
tor Of these bitters have shown great
shrewdness and ability in compounding
bitlers, whose virtues are so palpable te
everyone's observation Examiner and
Chronicle.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09

OLEOMARGARINE cannot be easily sup
pressed while butter maintains a high
price, and there is no prospect of material
reduction. The skill which manufacturers
of oleomargariue have attained
is remarkable and the dairy
interests ask congress to COM
pei them to stamp every package they put
upon the market in order that the people
may not be deceived. The st. Louis
Gtobe-Democrat recently published an ar
ticle in which it was asserted in the most
positive terms that what is known as
creamery" butter is largely adulterated with
oleomargarine. The statement seems In
credible, and will be received with many
doubts. 1t states that creameues where
this quality of butter is made are often To-
Gated near oleomargarine factories. In
these the tallow and grease are made into
an oil, which is mixed with the cream
the creameries, and made into the finest ap-
pearing crea nery butter. 1t is further
stated that this oil is shipped in barrels to
distant parts of the country.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
GA ASuAITIESu

The engine and baggage car of a passenger
train on tho Odgensburg & Lake Champlain
road ran into washout, killing James
Chambers, engineer, and Henry Pietre, fire.
man. The express messenger and baggage
man were badly injured. No passengers were
hurt
John Wilhelm and wife of Nauvoo, Ill. left
their small children alone in the house, and
actually seemed surprised when they returned
and found their house and household treasures
in ashes
brakeman named Johu Bull fell from the
cars at Midway, a few miles east of Winona, On
Sun day morning and was instantly killed. The
remains were sent to his home at Madison.
Five men were instantly killed and two others
badly hurt by the explosion of a boiler in a
saw mill belonging to Westler & Barnes, at
Stone station, near Richmond, Ill.
There sis good deal of riotng at Omaha
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-03-09
EoRETar.

United States Minister Lowell has rendered
to the queen the congratulations of the Ameri-
can nation at her escape. kilograms express
ing similar sentiments have been received
from the various foreign countries.