The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-08-31
The Quickest Orre on Record.

Ihe professionals SummeTlng AT
Mount Clemens, Mich, are at times
rather hard pushed for something to do
to kill time, and the boys have their
heads together the most of the day ar
ranging some scheme to while away the
long summer vacation.
Last season Gus Williams and Char
ley Young were the ringleaders in most
of the devilment. and many are the fun
ny stories told of their pranks, in which
they were ably seconded by the rest of
the gang.
While over in the bath-house one
morning Gus learned that number of
old gentlemen from the South were to
arrive on the afternoon train to exam
inc the baths, and, if satisfied that the
waters were as represented, they would
take up quarters for the summer. Hav-
ing obtained the above information,
with the expected arrivals, and with his
chum arranged programme that will
be unfolded further on.
At o'clock six beneyolent-looking
old gentlemen, suffering from rheuma-
tism, gout, etc., arrived at the bath
house, and calling for the Superintend-
ent, visited the different baths, and then
proceeded to the reception-room, and
commenced to put the Superintendent
through a cross-examination in regard
to their chances of being cured, and the
cost, etc. While the discussion was at
its hight, terrible uproar was heard
near the entrance of the bath-house, in
which groans, shrieks, and yells of
agony were heard that made the new
guests turn pale and start from their
seats in alarm. The front door was
soon opened, and Gus Williams rushed
in, exclaiming:
''For Gods sake, Doctor. get two
baths ready at once! Two men have just
been taken off the train who, we are
afraid, will not live to get to the baths.
Can you hear them outside? Here they
come now," said Gus, as other unearth-
ly yells went up that would have made
the heart of a Sioux Indian jump for
JOY, and the door opened, disclosing the
lengthy form of Charley Young and De
Witt Cook holding up the apparently
dying forms of Emerson and Clark, who
were on crutches, their limbs bandaged
and their faces the picture of despair.
NO use for bath for those poor
men," said one of the kind old gentle
men; ''they viii not live an hour"
They are bad" said Williams, ''but
we must put them in; it is their last
chances" and the boys were led to the
rooms, keeping up their groaning SO
pitifully that the new arrivals could
scarcely keep the tears from their eyes,
BIG beads of perspiration standing out
on their faces almost as large as hen
eggs.
The old gentlemen listened attentive
ly and anxiously. The groans and cries
grew fainter and fainter, and soon ceas-
ed entirely.
''The poor fellows are dead" said
one of the o. G.
Il think not" said Gus; .:wait till
the waters take full effect''
In few minutes a noise was heard
from the bathroom that sounded like
some one humming a lively song and
dance air.
InaG q sname," sad the y. G.,
Ito be singing SO near the presence of
DEATH"
Just at this point out rushed Charley
Young, saying:
''Gus, they're better; do you hear
lliCH oAhS
You don't mean to say" said all the
o. 6. at once, mot the mon you just
took in there, who appeared to be dy-
ing?'
The same" said Charley, and Just
as he said this crutch came flying out
of the bathroom, soon followed by three
more, and then Emerson and Clark
themselves in their bathing dress, who
proceeded to dance a double clog, to the
astonishment of the 0. g., who would
scarcely believe their eyes.
"How w-how-how-man baths have
these men hadP' said one of the O. G..
in trembling voice.
This is their first" said Williams.
''We will stay here for the SUMMER"
said the leader of the O. G., and we
soafat q bath zoec,"