The sun., 1882-02-26
CONSTABLE sTEpE AND THE COON.
Tho sheriff Illustrates FIR the Roys the Ma
ture of Extreme SnrprIse.

MILFORD, Pa, Feb. 81 s'pose the mos
surprised man that ever was in Pike County
except Bob Smith. when he shot mt u mark OIL
Nose Wcstbrook's barn and killed a calf II
the noxt lot was Steve Bennett the time h,
killed the tame coon over on the Paupack.
said the sheriff.
The County Clerk hal bought the cigars fol
himself and tho Sheriff laid down quarter OF
the bar. and taken up his fifteen cents change
Tho Old Settler was lolling in his chair. will
his eyes closed. and tho knob of his cane In
his mouth. listening to Uncle Ira. who was Civ
ing him an nfallbe recipe for knocking the
asthma higher than kite. Some of the boys
were seated around tho now c-burncr
There was u lack Of checrfulncss which might
have boon distantly connected with the pres.
cncc in the Crissman House Of unpretending
but positive placards conveying tho intelli-
gcnce that hcnceforth the foreign and domestic
policy OF the hostclry would be cash on delivery.
i don't care what you youngsters rs don I
know the differ nee twiSt II hve-prong buck an
asuckin' groun' hog. wants to hear" shouted
tho Old settler. bringing his cane down with Il
thump, but as fur mo. ! don't want to hoar
nothin' bout no coonl For hcn' the dodrot,
tedcst. mis'ablcst, wuthlesscst varmint OF ail
the varmints as gifts their livin by stealth. you
chanccs ii be even that il ii git t.other pint;
snare phcasants. an longsdc o snarin' pheas
ants, pickin' tho lock on blind niggers
chicken coop an clearin' the roost is spreadin'
Tho DID Settler touched the Sheriff on ten
II hat. all right" said the sheriff. but
chasing the ring-tailcd deni2en of tho hollow
ON a frosty night. by the light of the hunter $
..st When the % Coon drops. lays % over ' ali tho
ploughing through swamps and skinnng over
ridges after greasy old tranps of bears that has
their living by stealing eh2 Coons? All right,
But did you ever hear of u coon snatching, u
ing OF with itfY You never knewW "a a coon @ to get
away with calf. did you. aud then come back
after M the the coT Coons nny may BE- d2dr2ttd mean
cnons he does all the hunting himself. If he's
asr t bears the ; Hhaiees m are tha good share OF
But that ain neither here nor thcre," con;
tinued the sheriff. cutting oir the reply the Old
Snii,r with his eapv raisnd IN the pr E was rs prG i
about was the way St,vc Il, NETT got surprised
by tame coon up along the Paupack. steve
ship. There was IA dance down to the narrows
Of the l;ackawnck one Thanksgiving night; A
during tho evening. and by the time supper was
ready he had managed TO get enough Lacka-
wack lnvigorator under his flannel TO convince
for the rest of the night SO hr waltzrd into the
ballroom and ordered the orchestra to strike
mp ,O,d Zip Coon and 10 strike it mp lively. or
that they'd think it was Fourth o'July celebra-
tion at high noon, Tho orchestra refused to
and threw It's accord n ont of thu window
Next day some,of the boys got out a Warrant
serve. Steve went "a his house. but he wasn't
home. His wife was on the place, and Steve
told hor that he had tn satisfy the law. and
must take something. so ned levy on the cow.
They didn't have anv cow.
Then III have tot, to tnks S,a bari o Si Sdsr or
bust up no dance in my bailiwick without set
We'll. they didn't have any cider nor any
n M ttyp of In ~ q
bushwhaeker's wife ON the warrant. when she
~ We amt got durn thing that'd kinder
square things 'cept a half bar' o pork in the
cclar an 2 tame coon in the woodshcd. Now.
yer ch'icr o th.m ingre"jents. an sarve yer
papcr onto whichever one you durn please.
steve concluded 10 arrest the coon. He left
'Suuire's in three days and settled he could
have his coon; Il not the coon. as bail in the
led the coon home and chained it up in the
smoke house. The next night he went out to
tax" look mt his prisoner. but his prisoner
on, Veil y, said ,hd st.ys this is i2ns got s'1Sse
make things square with the law. Now the
.'on skip,. an the township II come bnck on
sweat isot to g, that c@onr
Steve took his doi, and hnntcsl all that night.
No coon; Next night the dog hark"d up abig
run down 10 tho edge Of the creek There's
that cussed coon thought Steve, an I'll have
him dead or alive 81 he sncaked up to the
tree, 1t was bright starlight. and Steve. could
soc the coon .crouchin, on limb near the top
Of the tree, He gave Il a barrel Of duck shot,
and down il came to the ground Steve dropped
the gun and pouncod on the coon. Tho dog
took hand in. and DOWN the hill went all
three kicking AMI biting. and h22Kng. and
bled and noundered around in the creek for
fifteen minutes. and then Steve got the coon
under tn. water and drowned it.
a., There. said stove, dragging. himself and
tho econ out of the creek and flop
much clothes left an think they's u yard or
So % hide OF o different parts u me. but when
! ~ out u serve warrant its got TO he served
ii J have to Kill cv ry coon IN the countyl'
Then Steve shpuldercd the coon and went
home He threw the coon in the smoke house.
When he went III the house his mother wanted
t. know where in the world he'd heuil His
clothes wcr" torn to tattcrs and he Wa, covered
with blood from head To foot.
We been arter that Internal coon. said
Ike he did, ~ '''''' ''' A0''' sue one i's ~
Got himr said his mother; why that
coon . gu IL the smoke house. and has been
there all the time He's been n layin' up on
day he looked jest 10 II lie was laughiu hissolf
to death
steve took light and went out Sure
enough. there was tp tame coon. huddivd
up on II raft"r lo1kin. as innocent a. a day-old
rabbit Steve took OF. look at tho animal he
had tusslcd with and killed 1t wasn't u coon
put bigger wildcat WAS never seen along the
Mother said Steve. going back in tho
house. it's hig honor "a he constable o this
Nearin ON the constitution. an think III re-
sign.