New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-10-11
HUNOR IN THE CAMPAIGN.
Speech by 4. J. Flemfng IN Fay County, Missouri.
nr President ladihs and gentlemen. am cor


Speech by A. J. Fleming IN Roy County Missouri
Mr.. President, ladiesand gentlemen, am sorry
am candidate, or the son OF one. am nelthSh
not candidate by proxy. III were, how would
OF grand old habeas corpus and Che Corpus Christ
Of the yox del and the yox poPn OF the SIC semper 80
brace My blood fairly bos and bubbles TO speak TO you
Democratic party, ably and earnestly assisted by the
Republican, Greenback, U. T. T. aud Wing parties The
tariff has been pulled this way hauled that way and
ture other way until the whole fabric stands perched
upon and we are compelled TO pay 10 cents
for cents worth of very poor whiskey This Is an
imposition upon the whole human race including
negroes Cinnamon ana women. 10y TINS ne
to carry the burden providing always he has
the money. at Is cents a drink, 10 buy the burden
snakes this earth from dome. from sto cupola
and the British lion to roar with pain and weep
protection. That's hire soldiers for that's
what We build our grand naves for; and employ our
police, feed big dogs and get married for Man can
live without whiskey, politics. cainlneetlngs reIgloh
aud even store clothes but take away his protection ana
he Is done for give him protection or ne VIII perish au
emgrate from the face OF the earth ana the
that know him now will know him no more forever
Without protection this country would DC moving
wilderness, maraudipg mob OF lightning rod and DoOk
tenperanoe lecturers male and female. Yes, friends,
cannot survive unless our Dulwarks OF protection are
made stronger sOuter and more reliable There Is NIUE
use In taking up your time with discussion OF the
finances of the day You know more about money Inan
do least you know any thing about IL you 90.
honestly believe there Is not nau IN TINS audience Dui
knows all about money. You know now IL Is MADE ana
L editor, and my knowledge OF money is there
fore somewhat curailed rather scattered among sub
scribers. know IL requires cents to purchase
glass OF beer, 15 cents 10 buy drink OF Whiskey ana
100 cents TO make one dollar, and mighty fine
schening and full grown and able bodied planning to
a dollar without work. Beyond this my knowledge
of finances IS limited know that man who has lots
OF money takes high interest in the affairs OF life and,
the other nand, one who has none Is always hchag
his interest is high know that money Is the
root of ali evil and the Of evil is immense aud
stanily increasing. know that when man has dol
lar he has friend, and the more dollars the more
friends and also know haven't friend. This last Is
not grand eloquent nor brilliant idea but is solemn
fact and varnsh to make IL stand out In bold
relief like river and harbor bill or salary grab AS 10
Inc b e ay have 70 take back In the sweet
byandby don't like to express myself too forclbly
and one destined TO cut Vide swath in American pOh
Tics many years have gone the way OF all candidates
iDnR Ns fas Of Deea very GOOD sRng do
think it policy to give myself entirely away OIL tne
Language of plank IN one of the party Platforms
when says:
Whersos 1t should be suppressed; therefore, be it
Resolved, Jirs-Ihat believe nigh tarlh coupled
clause, Will prohibit man VINO drinks from selling to
man with "A large family who has house to rent. pro-
resulting leasing the saloon to the man
candidate, with the consent OF his neigh.
bor without regard TO race occupation or number OF
children, including dogs.
relations TO this cause, and hope in time 10 be able TO
say Black is black and white is whitehall whskey Is
Intoxicating and all men not what they seem.
Won 70 understand thoroughly my position on this great
and absorbing question OF domestic happiness public
peace and national honor and integrity.
civil suffrage and female rights question also DC
manGs att tion. am opposed 10 women voting hold
ing Office tatronzing saloons, etc Opposed to II because
the life OF our American women Is already cut too
briefly
OPPOSED to it because she has enough trouble now.
Opposed it because she has enough sins TO answer
Opposed to it because she is naturally weak sister.
The women have no time to run about over the coun-
try discussing the tariff, banks, political and official
economy, railroads, temperance, etc, etc. She is not
constituted successfully carry water Oh both shoI
smoke bad cigars chew tobacco relate WI gar
stories tell lies Islander the other parties On these
grounds base opposition to female suffrage. do
not feel she can things and retain her beauty,
purity lovelness honesty and youth; at least she cant
do them very many years ana retain her youth. am
soemnly impressed with the latter clause in this
This, understand is political gathering, and my
speech thus far has been like Hamlet with Hamlet OIL
something about politicians; Inc politician 10
clever anlmal-nOt quite so useful as the COW or the
mule, but generally little better looking My friends,
the politician In the only animal Noah DID not take iO
with MIN ana his interesting 1lInly, wnen he
have read freight list of that cargo very minutey
and have signaly JAILED to mud politician way
told that Noah "a cOol-headed ana sagacOus man. a
of much WISDOM and This accounisior the fact tnat
craft full well II he admitted or PAIR OF thein
trouble would eusue. No one, when they go out for
these things with them Noah did not want to listen to
long and tedious rigmaroles about finances educ ato
tariff protection, sic senper; I'm SICK send Tor McGinns
and PluriDus CnolefamorDus. Not much He wanted
peace and quiet and safety Death by water Is said 10
be bad, but death by wind must be full as bad not
worse. The politician would have had strikes, dead
locks stanpedes and brass bands, resolutions. bylaws
rules etc. all time. NO. there was no politician GU
that excursion. The origin OF the politician, like
the whereabouts of Charley Ross somewhat similar
They are snrouded IN mystery; enveloped in gloom,
deep dark and, ike the London log. inpeneIraDlc'
Tradition sheds the only ray OF light have upon the
history birG the politician. and that Is only
feebe starlight speak This authority, that is old
tradition says that when the old tcboat landed safely
III he 10 @ Commander
greatly .6nished morning after, while taking
OF his customary observations, 70 find a large,
healthy ard able-bodied politician standing ad
joining mountain rehearsng stump speech. BY this
we led 10 believe that the politician "a hardy and
tough animal, as he is the only animal that lived
throughout that damp period outside He
tainly was held In little esteem III NOahs time they
didn't consider him WCrth saving. lie saved HIMSELF
therefore lie Is his saviour 1t is questionable
whether q second Noah would consider him worth the
room he'd occupy or not politician s undcres-
tiinaed We couldn't live happily without him. lie is
useful and harmless.