Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-06-10
Saturday Smiles.

part the hair in the middle.-Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
1t was evening Three of them were killing
cat One Of them held q lantern, another held
cats ear, and fired, shooting the man in the
hand who held the cat, and the one with the
lantern was wounded in the arm. The cat left
when it saw how matters stood and that ill-feel-
ing was being engendered.
= Sleep knits up the ravelled sleeve Of care,
but she lets the WORKOUT seat of poverty's pants
take care CT itself Salem Sunbeam.
Mrs. P. c.. Chattanooga Tenn: "Is there
any way to keep ants out of the sugar bowl?"
Yes. Fill the sugar bowl with salt.-IeIds
Sittings.
Mary Clemmer says only one girl in 500 can
about one man in 500 stands In need of clergy
mans wife, we don't see what Mary is growing
about.-Neso Haven Register
A tobacco hater says: Two cigars a day will
supply family with -four" Fogg says he
buys half a dozen cigars some days, but he
doesn't find it any easier to supply the family
with flour, for all that. He thinks there must
be mistake somewhere. Transcript
- Thirty days in solitary confinement" was
the sentence pronounced against Jim Webster
man. 'Thirty days" was the response 'Look
heah, boss you glib me thirty days las winter
for de same Tense, when de days was heap
shorter den dey is now. Amt you gwine ter
allow de usual discount on account Of de signs
in de zodiackle?" A look Of intelligence ap-
peared on the judicial face, and spread all over
it. 81 declare, l forgot the days were not
always Of the same length. I'll make it twenty
days solitary confinement instead Of thirty"
''Tell me dat book larnin' don't do niggah no
good. gets out ten days sooner, all OWN to
my habin' studied up de symptoms Of de zodi-
ackle, j" remarked Jim Webster, as the constable
led him off to jal.-TeJas Sif1inqs.
His last wishes: ''Your future husband
seems very exacting; he has been STIMULATING
for all sorts of things" said q mother to a
'Never mind, mamma" said the affectionate
girl, who was already dressed for the wedding,
''these are his last wishes. "-Hdrtford Times.
Cautious: ''When you were last here" said
the magistrate to the prisoner, you promised
me that If released you you would go to
work. Why haven't you kept your word7"
'Judge, returned the victim, meekly, II didn't
want to be breeding any disturbance, and was
afraid If went to work that would get on a
rike."-Brooklyn Eagle.
Matrimonial pleasantly: A lady whose hus-
band was the champion snorer of the commu-
nifty in which they resided contided to female
friend the following painful intelligence: my
life has not been one Of unallOyed delight.
have had the measles, the chicken-pox, the
cholera, the typhoid fever and infammatory
rheumatism, but l never knew what real mis-
fortune was until married burglar alarm
Brooklyn Eagle.
"A French account Of Adams fall: Monsieur
Adam, he wake up-he sees une belle demois-
bon jour, Madame w." Madame ", she wake;
she hole her fan before to her face. Adam put
on his eye-glass to admire re tableau, and Zey
make one promenade. Madame Nv, she feel
Sc prone sur rarbre-make one walk on re tree
Monsieur lie Serpent" say ", twill vous not
have re bOnte to peek me some appel?jai faim. {"
'Certainement, Madame w." say re serpent.
'Charme de vOus vOir." ''Hola! mon ami, ar
r-r-etez vous7" say Adam-sthop! sthop!-que
must not peek re appel!' Re snake, he take one
pinch OF shnuff, he say: eau, Monsieur ADAM
do you not know how zere is Messing proheebet
for re ladies? Madam Nv, permeet me to offer
fruit" Nv, she make one courtesy-ze snake
he fill her whole paras0l wiz re appel. He says:
"Eritis sicut Deus. Monsieur Adam, he will
eat ze appel, he will become like one Dieu,
know re good and re eveel-but you, Madame
", cannot become more Of q goddess Fan you
are now" An Eat flemish Madame Iv.-Sp,iraq-
field Republican
Riding out from Murfreesboro toward Nash
Vile turned to the right to strike part of the
battle-ground. and In going half a mile found
after puzzling over It rode back to where
negro was working alongside the road and
asked: "Can You tell me where that right
handed road leads to-" 'Yes, sab. You keep
TignC On OaC ROAD an yOuu TIE nil. Den you'll
60 freu some woods. Den you'll go down hill
an cross q branch an go up anoder hill an be
right dar!" "Right .wherea" 81 dunno, sab;
but it's plain road" "Where does the mid
die one. 90 TOT" 'Wall, you'll go freu
de woods fust. Den youth come to an
ole mule baked wild "a alload Of wood
Den you'll wind aroun' a hill an take
slant to de right. an by keepin' straight on
sab, but reckon you,l 1hd him down in 0ar
somewhar'." .And the other road?" "Dat's de
bes' one Of all. AFTER you branch of you'll see
fence. Den you'll turn TO de right and see a
big log BAN. After you pass de BAN you'll likely
see my brudder Jim cuttins ont cotton. Doan'
mind him, but keep on across de branch, slew
aroun' to de left a leetie, an arter you riz de
bill You am all right. How al right2 WhereIl
be them" 81 dunno. sall; lie nebbef up as
fur as dat. II you doan' want to see nobody
nor 60 nowhar' nor find nufIn'. you'd better
stick to de pike. You'll meet somebody on de
pike who'll tell ye whar' to make short cut to
hit de 'zact plantashun!"-Dt4r0it Free Press.
Judge Wallace, in the United States circuit
court at Philadelphia, has granted the mo-
ton TO discontinue tho suits between the Rmma
SILVER Mining company Of London and the Emma
Mining company Of that city. \ settlement has