Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-02-09
TRYING TIMES.

said l. "And lobster salad and frieC
oysters! Upon my word this looks as i
we we've going to have company.
so we are, my dear" said my wife
looking little guilty, as she polished
up the surface of the big silver tea-tray
with new chamois leather. "TheY ar,
all coming to visit me-Uncle Silas, ,ant
Aunt Melicent, and the children an(
Cousin Joab, and the two Miss Wilmer
dings, and my Aunt Louisa, to meet the
Rev. Mr.. Speakwell, from Minnesota
who married my cousin Jerusha Wilde
Mr.. Speakwell is troubled with the ca
tarrh, and he thinks of staying at oui
house for few weeks, while he is being
treated by Mr.. Dosem." D."
I put down my nnen duster and
brown paper parcels with some empha-
sis.
ooh, confound the Rev, Mr.. Speak
wellv' said 1.
"Johnl" calculated my wife.
"Well, my dear, l can't keep it, said
I. "It's not in human to endure every
thing. And I've been relationed cut OF
all patience ever since our marriage.
The Jenkinses went away last week, the
Birdsaes took an affectionate leave yes
terday, and now. Just as was contem-
plating a peaceful evening by ourselves,
here's a new swarm, hungrier than the
rest, just about to settle down upon us
In my opinion Kitty. my dear, relations
should be abolished.
''I am surprised at you, John," said
my wife. "My own people, they are so
fond of me-"
There's where you are mistaken, my
dear" said I. "It's your comfortable
spring beds and good cookery that they
are fond of, not you,
"Johnw
I'D be willing to wager a good round
sum on the truth of my assertion, said
I,
because you have no relations your
self"
Thank Providence for that!" said /,
devoutly. 81 was reared in founding
asylum, and have nobody to thank but
myself for my tolerable success in the
world"
''It's no reason you should find fault
with mine, said Kitty, with her bright
blue eye full of tears, "And Mr.. Speak
well is such a spiritually-m man,
and dear Uncle Silas loves you just as if
you were his only son, aud Cousin Joab
is so interested in our children"
''Tn much obliged to EN-" said l,
dryIy. ''But I slept all last wesk on
soft cushions lying in the bath tub; and
we had fourteen people here over the
anniversaries, and was obliged to give
up my own room for month last win
ter to old Mr.. Mansewell, not to speak
of our being half poisoned with Aunt
Louisa's hygeian messes in the fall.
When the poet said, There's no place
like home presume he meant when
there were no relations visiting. I'll
tell you what, my DEAR" with a sudden
inspiration, '1've great mind formally
to deed over this house for your rela-
tions, if they will agree solemnly to
leave me III peace for the rest of my
life, wheresoever may set up my family
| tents"
'Nonsense!' said nay wife. ''Do GO
up stairs and change your things, and
brush your hair and get ready for tea.
They're all waiting in the best parlor,
and was awaiting your return to see
about hiring some cot beds from the
village hotel, to put up in the attic for
those four little Speakwell children.
You see, Aunt Louisa has the blue
bedrooms, and Cousin Joab sleeps
in the little wing chamber and Mr..
and Mrs. Speakwen will have our room
and"
"IndeedP' said I. "And we are to
sleep Ill the barn. SUPPOSED"
"Don't be cross, John, said my wife
appealingly. "One must be hospitahle,
you know. And 1 can easily make up the
sofa-bed in the back parlor for our use,
for week or SO.
said nothing, but ground my teeth
in silent despair, as I sprang up stairs.
two steps at time, to make what chan
ges could in my toilet, by the aid of q
ten-by-twelve glass hung over the wash
stand Of stufy little bath room.
The Rev. Mr.. Speakwel was big
man, with still bigger voice, and limp,
faded little wife, whose sole earthly,
interest seemed to centre in her four
white eyed, freckle faced children. Un-
Gle Silas and Aunt Melicent were silent
couple with excellent appetites, and two
boys, who giggled and snickered at each
other in the intervals of the converse
| ton.
Cousin Joab talked necessarily with
his mouth full, and the two Miss vii.
merdings served as general echoes to
| the rest; while Aunt Louisa devoured