Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-10-25
OUT OF HIS ELEMENT.
How the Sporting Reporter ibid Up
q Church Meeting.

From the Chicago Herald
I'VE are little short" said the city editor, ir
an apologize way, to the sporting reporter OF
Saturday night. "and will have to ask you Il
help on the religious tomorrow"
"All right, what is itf'
GO down to the cathedral; our Episcopal
bishop is going to discourse on something inter.
estings Use your own judgment about space
The sporting reporter finished an article or
the result Of the running meeting, checked OF
his assignment, and went home The next
morning he turned mp smlingly at the church,
and hustled In through the vestibule as II he had
been delayed by the transfer at Western avenue
on his way to the Driving Park He was met
by solemn-looking usher, Of whom he in
quired, breathessly:
"Am in time for the first heat?"
The usher looked astonished, and asked:
Can | show you to a seat?"
eyes; will my quarter-stretch ticket admit
me to the grand stand?"
eve have no grand stand" said the usher.
perplexed, but can give you front pew II
you would like that, and he conducted him 10
seat in the second pew, Immediately under the
pulpit, and went away wondering what sort of
fish had come to church that morning The
sporting reporter took seat next to benev-
olent-lookng old gentleman with mutton-chop
whiskers and very high collar. He looked in
vain for table rest to write upon. Not
finding any, he mopped his face with his sleeve
and began whiting very small stub of a lead
pencil.
Good day for the race" he said from force
OF habit. The mutton-chop man did not answer,
and the turf reporter inquired if there were
many entries. The man did not understand
this either, and the reporter opened hymnal
ana began to read it, laboring under the i'm
preston that it was old-fashioned .'Krick g
Guide" The church slowly filed up. and after
time the bishop and other clergymen came out
and the service began. The entire ceremonies
completely nonpiussed the racing man. He
could not keep up with the procession, and
when the bishop and ther clergymen began in
tonlng together he offered to bet with the NUT
ton-chop man as to which would come out win
ner. lie sat the morning out and went back to
the Office with the best face on the matter he
could put.
''See here" he said to the CITY editor. swhat
sort of a racket were you trying to give me ?'
Why, what is the matter 2" said the chief
why, that church racket. / couldn't make
head or tail of the race, and for the life of me
dont know this minute who won. 1t was this
right IN the grand stand there was no reporters
stand"
You mean you sat in the front pew"
"Um-m-m. said the horse-man, right in
front of the judges stand"
Judges stand" said the editor 'why, that
was the pulpit"
No. it wasn't any pulpit. 1t was Just like a
judges stand. only it had a big cover, which
suppose they let down on the Judge when he
made bad decision. The grand stand and
pavilions were well filled up, and / tried my
best to get few points on the days races, but
no one seemed to be very fly on points,"
Did the bishop preach?"
''There were four entries"
'Four what ?"
-Four entries. One was big sixteen-hand
whose cOprS md tba
other was smaller and had red and white; the
other was black and white and the last seemed
to be riding out of his cOl0rs. and / couldn't
make him out at all In fact, couldn't tell
winch was which, for there were no programs.
Blue and white got to the pole and the scoring
began. | tried to get some odds on him from
a sucker who sat next to me, but he wouldn't
bet. At last they all came up neck and neck,
ana stood up and shouted: ''It's 60" but
the crowd all told me to sit down. and the man
VINO tends the gate came up and told me
he'd put me out if | didn't make less noise
L asked him who was running this track.
anyway. but dame behind me pulled nv
Sleeve and told me to sit down. Red and white
cast shoe at the quarter pole, but caught up
fairly afterwards, resumed his pace and came
under the wire a clear winner by half a length.
trottiEg little lame however. They took
breath. and l tried to catch a bet again. but
could find no takers. Time was called for the
next heat and the unknown was bit fractions
an indifferent start. Red and White went to
the front. but Blae soon passed and took the
lead, winning easily. In the third heat the field
got away at the first tap of the drum Red lead
ing and Blue coming up to second place. There
was good race up to the half-miIe pole, where
Blue took the lead. As he broke into the straight
at the finish he seemed to be picking up his feet
quite lively, and he came down the stretch
with his head up. and went under the wire i'm
2:2O gait"
well. you don't seem to have caught much
OF the sermon. Was there any music?"
''Well, L should say so. There was full
orchestra in the band-house. 1t was quite
slick. but one lilly was crowded into a pocket
by biz geldng, and when the race was fin
lshed he was left behind When came out of
the door tried to see the Paris mutuals, but
they weren't on the board. 1 didn't get the
hang OF the thing to-day, but if you give me
another crack at 1t next Sunday think will
get on to in better shape"
The Chief however, will confine the young
man to his proper sphere hereafter.