The news., 1882-11-28
COATING THE OLD MAN.

The bad Boy Plays 3Tason, and Gives
His Pa the Royal Bumper Degree.
Say, are you Mason, or nodfellow,
OF anything?" asked the bad boy of the
groceryman, as he went TO the cinnamon
bag on The shelf and took out long stick
Of cinnamon bark to chew.
why, yes, Of course am, but what
set you to thinking of that?' asked the
groceryman, as he went TO the desk to
charge the boys father with half pound
of cinnamon.
"Well, do the goats but when YOU
nishiate fresh candidate?
mo, of course not. The goats are
cheap ones, that have no life, and we
muzzle them, and put pillows over their
heads, so they can't hurt anybody" says
the groceryman, as he winked at brother
Odd Fellow who was seated on a sugar
barrel, looking mysterious "But why do
you ask?"
., nuihin, only | wish me and my
chum had muzzled our goat with pillow
Pa wonid have enjoyed his becoming a
member better. You see Pa had been
telling us how much good the Masons
and Odd Fellows did, aud said we ought
to try 10 grow up good, so we could line
the lodges when we got big, and a ked
pa if it would do anv hurt for rs to have
play 70 ige in my room, and pnrlend to
nishiate, and pa said it wouldn't 10 any
hurt He said it wonld improve our
minds, and learn US to be men. So my
chum and me borried a goat that lives in
a livery stable and CO rried him up to nv
room when pa and ma was out riding, but
| the goat blatted so we had to tie hand
kerchief around his nose, and his feet
made such noise on the floor that we pnt
some baby's socks on his feet. Well, sir,
my chum and me practiced with that
goat until he conld butt picture of a
goat every time. We borried buck
beer sign from saloon man, hung it on the
back of g chair, and the goat would hit il
every time. That night pa wanted to
know what we we're doing up in my room
and ! told him we were playing lodge,
and improving our minds, and pa said
that was right, there was nothing that did
boys Of our age half so much good az tc
initiate men, and store by useful nollidse
Then my chum asked pa ifhe didn't want
to come up and take the grand bumper
degree, and pa LATED and said he didn,,
care if he did, just to encourage US bows
in innocent pastime, that was so improy-
ing to our intellex. We had shut the
goat up in closet in my room, and he
had got over blatting, so we took of the
handkerchief, and he was eating some of
my paper collars, and skate straps.
I'VE went up stairs and told pa to
come up pretty soon and give three dis.
tinct raps, and when we asked him who
comes there he must say "a pilgaric who
wants ojoin your ancient order and
ride the goat Ma Wanted to come up.
too, but we told her if she came in Il
would break up the lodge, cause a wom-
an couldn't keep a secret, and we didn't
have any side saddle for the goat. Say.
if you never tried il, the. next time Won
initiate man in your Mason's lodge, you
sprinkle little kyan pepper on his
beard just afore you turn him loose. You
can get three times as much to the square
inch of goat. You wouldn't think il was
the same goat. Well, we got all fixed
and pa raped, and we let him in and
told him he must be blind fooled, and pa
got on his knees laffing, and / tied .
towel around his eyes, and then / turned
him around and made him get down or
his hands also, and then his back wa.