The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1882-04-30
The Funny Men.

Say, do you want a,joke ~ asked man.
entering the gazette Office.
''If you see the advertising man, you probably
dispose of it,
Now, you are trying toinsult me. Probably you
don't know who | am. am remarkable man In
disguse am the author of the Spoopendyke papers,
which you have no doubt seen In the Brooklyn
Edgie."
Huntly?''
"No, sir. Stanley Huntly is my nom de plume
Walt till give you an int!mation of myself, ~ and
seating himself and rejecting for a moment he began
g My dear, said Mr.. spoopendyke, we have re-
ceived an invitation to visit Christmas tree over at
Col. Clay residence
Amt that too sweet y replied Mrs. SpOOpcn-
dyke. Il always did enjoy Christmas trees, and
when was girl went out into the country with
my cousin and roamed around the woods looking for
Christmas trees.'
/" We did, did YEP Thought that the dodgasted
things grew up and blossomed presents, did ye
All you want Is ten cents worth OF common bark and
wooden top to be grove. Think I'm going to
take such woman among Intelligent people All
you want is to lace tight to be campaign pole. Take
me for n dodgasted, meaSly, birch rod
How'll that dc? Now don't you think that
wrote these papers " said the visitor with the air of
a conqueror.
"You have established your identity" answered
the scribe.
liam Derrick Dodd, of the Frisco Post"
''Thought he was Frank Gassaway, the poet -
'Well It's all the same; I'm known Just AS well by
either name. Here's sample of my hunsr:
- The landlord led the guest to room No. 800.
As they opened the door and turned up the gas sud
util racket near the Dtu ceased.
"'What. are thoseS' exclaimed the guest. with
trembling voice, he pointed to number OF large
Jumps beneath the Counterpart. They began to move
Great Scott he shrIeked, making for the door,
they're bedbugs =
- Hush, not word, said the landlord OBTAINING
him. Have no fear. Look they have already been
fed. We always I'LL 'em up at bedtime. Comes high,
but guests insist upon IL; and he pointed to a
plate of elposhed beef bones beneath the bed.
Then, hastily slipping out, the landlord locked the
door and retired.
The above Is section neatly sawn out of a thrill
Ing romance, entitled 'The--lfouse OF Bloody Tales
Of the Boarder, to begin In the Weekly Post.
Now Is the time TO get up clubs..
Derrick. congratulate you upon uniting fun
with biz " said the scribe.
- am also Bill Nye.n
''William, 1 am glad to meet YOU
do not address me as william until produce my
credentials. We do not believe that any man has
right TO chew our name. Our constitution forbids
such familiarity. We arc sentimental When hope
and fear dance with fantastic tiptoe on our broad
bosom, filled with generous throUs, we do not.tbnk
that the mooneyed editor of another sheet has right
to slip up and nip q mouthful OF ear
The scribe fell from his chair, but was lifted 10 his
seat by the kind hearted humorist
''Now you call me Wam.''
civilian, ~ whispered the scribe, and, fumbing
under lot OF papers, he drew out a bottle and re-
freshed himself.
''My name Is Alex. Sweet, sir, and write the
humorous stun for the TerdS SLftingS. Listen:
'''Unce Mace was met on Austin avenue yesterday
by Jim Webster, who said:
80 Uncle Mace. da tells me dat yer's got de
smaItest three year-Od boy IN Austin. -
" - Per man what Informed You stated Jack
"''What cbeTdeuCe has you of dat faCk ~
- f." Why sab, do Odder day a chicken cum into
my yard, and de boy begin Ia chase him wild a In
stinct dat shows What man he's gwiue to he. ~ -
'Alex, I'm glad to meet you. We have exchanged
sympathy In private manuscript, and now that we
meet the occasion Is one Of excessive Joy. Is this the
extent Of your literary wardrObeY''
mo, sir; am Eugene Fields, the man who
writes primer FOR the Denver Tribune, Hut wait; |
don't ask any man to take my word:
- Here We have u boy aud dog. The dog has a
big mouth and the boys mouth for Jam Is CORE
spondingly large. WIN the boy pull the dogs tail
Yes, he VIII pun his tail. VIII ho pull II twice. No,
no win not pun II twice, -
4" VINO else are you -
- am numerous others. am George W. Chllds,
uf the Philadelphia Ledger. Listen:
:" My dog Is dead said Nancy Cary
Come write to-day her obituary.
Gone TO meet old TOwser ~
heavy fan attracted the attention Of the porter.
When he camein ho found the scribe lying on the floor
lnsensihe, little Rock gazette.