San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-08-24
LUCIDLY.


Some time ago We got new press
for this office, and for number OF
weeks ii was our chief delight to take
visitors through the mechanical depart.
ment of the paper, politely and cheer
fully explaining to them thousand
things that we didn't know anything
about. The foreman used to say that
We did pretty well, although he used to
caution us about the use OF certain
,erms in certain ways. You see a man
not practical printer has to trust to
his memory and chance to help him
out, and don't always use the correct
scientific name.
One day Col. Stanton, the chief pay
master Of the department., entered the
Boomerang Office to pay his subscrip-
ton end tell us some blood curdling
anecdotes about different engagements
in which the pay department had waded
in blood and came of ciore than con-
queror. After we had ladled out a few
lies to him relating to our frontier
life, we took him into the pross room
and showed him the new press. He
manifested great deal of interest in
the thing and asked good many ques-
tions, which we answered in our usual
graphic style. Then We went into the
news room. We could see by the frown
on the foreman's brow that we were
making some awful breaks, but what
can You do when you have visitor that
must be entertained, and keeps asking
about these things that you don't know
anything about?
After awhile the Colonel seemed to
lose his interest in our description OF
how newspaper was made. AT hrst
ne would look surprised and agitated
over some rash statement we would
make, but after little while he seemed
to care very little about what we said
and acted almost rude; so we braced mp
and went on to explain how type was
set, and as we stood by case just va
Gated by one of the compositors, we
told him where all the letters We're, and
explained the whole philosophy of set
ting a galley, locking it, proving it.,
making up, ETC., etc. There were q
number of other officers present. and
they seemed greatly pleased and tried
to draw us out on this subject, which
presents so much that is of interest to
the novice.
Finally Col. Stanton yawned little,
stepped up to, the vacart case, took the
stick in bis left hand and gazed earn
estly at the copy" of an article on An
act to provide for the retirement OF the
army worm at the age of sixty-two."
He then lit out for dear life like man
setting by the thousand and hopes to
make San Francisco before the cold
weather sets in. He dumped his stick
in the right place, resumed his work
cheerfully and staid at it till the article
was all up, and then said he guessed
he'd have to go.
We looked around at the officers to
see how they felt. They seemed cheer
full and pleased about something.
They knew that that meek and gentle
fraud was an old printer all the time,
and when we were making courteous,
self forgetful ass of ourself all the
time, explaining the operations OF a
printing office, not only Stanton, but
all the rest of them were winking at the
foreman, and even the devil was in the
scheme.
Since that we don't even dare to
show young lady how printing press
works, aud the other day man who
was born without arms, and who, there
fore, wouldn't make much of compos
itor, wanted to see how a paper was
made, but we put him off on the fore
man and excused ourself from being a
professional guide to the mechanical
part of the Boomerang any Lore.
Once we allowed ourself to act as
guide for Rev. Mr.. Hall, of this place,
because il was nothing more than right
that we should be civil to clergyman.
After we had told him great deal
about the ins and outs of the printing
business, and Mr. Hall had gone, tue
city editor said: "You are the most
genial newspaper. directory and speci.
men catalogue and pcice list o. printers
supplies ever saw. You thought } on
played it on that gray haired Clergyman
in good shape probably. You fooe 1
away an hour right in the middle Of
the day showing off about how to print
a paper, when you don't know lower
case roller mold from an italic shooting
stick. Mr.. Hall stuck type all the first
part of his life for Sam Bowles. but he
has gone home without telling you 80
because he was afraid you might feel
bad. Now, if you don't quit acting as
guide to this paper I'm going TO resign;
| can't stand it to be Inundated this
way. 1t is wearing my young life in
sorrow away."-BiU Nye.
kflvox-y