The Osceola times., 1882-06-03


Nor do we get competent and eff
cient public servants from men who
have neither business training nor
sober and industrious habits. Lit
tie Rock Democrat.
The above is a good text for a po-
litical sermon, and in the language
of the i.inerant preacher of the gos-
pei, is divided in three subdivisions,
to-wit, thusly: First; "We do not
gather figs of thistles." This is a
self-cvident proposition, and requires
but little effort of the mind to grasp
its full meaning. The pronoun 'we'
refers to the present sober genera
ton Of Arkansawyers, and not to the
whisky guzzlers of the past, who saw
through whisky-soaked eyes political
figs not only on thistles, but the bot
toms of every glass emptied by the
dear voter. The political apostle
who saw and gathered figs of thisties
lived in an age SO remote that any
hieroglyphic record made of the fact
has not yet been satisfactorily inter-
preted or translated to warrant the
historians and compilers of ancient
lore to aflix date. In fact, my be-
loved political sinners, we incline to
the belief that the idea is a myth,
and grew out of alcoholism, and was
circulated as fiat money to catch un-
suspecting and gulllble voters. With
these few remarks on the first divis.
ion of the text, which are made in
full confidence as to their truthful
ness, and to which we challenge sue
cessful contradiction, We pass to the
consideration Of the second division
Of the text. "Nor do we get com.
petcnt and efficient public servants
from men who have no business
training" This portion of the text,
my b. p. s., is equally as self evident
as the first subdivision, but some
how the masses of political sinners
fail to grasp the full meaning of the
sentence-it is not clearly fixed in
their minds, and until the prohibition.
lists take them by the nape of their
necks and shake the vile whiskey
out Of them, put them square on their
feet, and erect school-houses where
whiskey shops now stand, we may
expect as many good, clever, chuck
le-hcaded fellows to swim into Office
as competent, efficient and well-train-
ed gentlemen. But we are admon-
ished that time is passing, and in the
language of the aforesaid preacher,
eve must pass to the third division
of the text, and briefly note a few
points," "Nor sober and industri-
Gus habits" When we consider this
division in its entirety-its many in
tricacies and ramifcations; and when
we clothe it with the habiliments
worn by the devotees of Alcohol,
perfumed with the subtle and perni-
cious odors of the barroom, its pow
er and influence for successfully and
swimmingly floating into Office, we
frankly admit, has been in times
past, beyond resistance; and the won-
der of the world to-day is, that that
gigantic power and influence is being
so effectually shorn of its strength in
ARKANsAw. The time when a can
didates abilities were measured by
his capacity to swallow whisky, and
the contents Of his purse for settin'
'em for the boys, was the sure guide
to success, is gradually passing away
and will soon be numbered with the
hieroglyphic records mentioned in
the first division of this discourse;
already the political sinners are look
ing to the sure enough fg-trees for
salvation figs, and he who would eat
thereof must by diligence, industry
and his faith prove that he has earn
ed the right to chunck them off the
bushes. Fellow p. S., do you hitch
onto the racket if you do, and be-
fore we be dismissed, let brother
Quildrivcr pass around the editorial
hat and let the announcement fees
drop therein.
OscEoIA ARH Juna Let 1920