Fair play., 1882-12-16
PCNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The man who was hanged at the
var,l-arm had his obituary under the
head of .'Shipnoose." ."-B,ston CONNER
cidi BuitetiH.
Query: If Atlas was able to sup
port the world on his shoulders. is also
to be inferred that he was equally com
petent to balance the Poles upon his
chin.-The JuIge.
A Chicago man DELAYED mailing
letter to the President until he could find
the street and number Of the White
House. SO that the missive woull not
miscarry.-DetroH Free Press.
Mistress to new cook-..On Wednes-
DAYS ani Saturdays l shall go to market
with you." New COok-''Very well.
mum. but who's goin' to carry the
basket. m?'-QHiZ.
Fila. nv child. said a prudish old
maid To 4 pretty niece, who would curl
her hair in ringlets. IF the Lord had in
tended your hair to he curled. he would
have done it himself" $50 he did.
Auntie. when l was a baby; but he
thinks am big enough now to do 1t my
self"
Plantation philosophy: DE Shang-
high chicken minds me OBJ certain men
dat Use seed. He crows mighty loud
an braos around 'mong de hens an
younc chickens, but when a game rooster
comes around he's got business on de
udder side oh de fence.-ArkanSG0
Trdreicr.
A preacher raising his eyes from his
desk in the midst OF his sermon. was
paralvzed with amazement TO see his
rude boy in the gallery pelting the hear
ers in the pews below with horse-cheSt-
nuts. But while the gool man was pre-
pairing a frown of reproOf. the young
hopeful cried out: You tend to your
preaching, daddy; I'll keep 'em awake. y
-Cticag0 Tribune.
Has yer got any chilluns in dis
heah house," asked Matilda SNOWFALL oi
an Austin lady to whom she wanted to
hire herself as cook and wash-lady. Il
/ have only one child-a little baby.
"Den I amt gwine ter hire myself to nc
/ family whar dar am no chillunS. or whal
| de chilluns am so small dat all de stealth
| and de breakin' OBJ de dishes am put of
on me. ."-TeZas SttttngS.
Some one has written the Lord
PRAYER on a piece Of glass not larger thar
/ the head of pin. which can be easily
read through a microscope. We don
believe it will ill long-felt want. The
thousands of people in this country wht
won't read the Lords prayer when 1t /
printed in small plea type may tack!'
kindly to this microscopical scheme, bu
we doubt it-Norris:oTn Herald.
They were raised in Austin. but sh'
did not know much about gardening: a
the same time she did not care 10 expos
berignorance to her husband. They ha'
ONLY been married short time. when h
said: Il notice the asparagus Is abou
ripe-don't you want to go ont into IN.
garden and get someT She replied
.rll tell you what We will do We vii
90 out together. You climb up an
Shake the tree and I'll catch them in N,
apron as they fall. "-Teras Siflin9s.
"A man recently fell down. He wa
a large individual and took up lots o
sidewalk. and bystander thought it N
proper time TO befunnv. How did yo'
come to falla" he inquired. ''On a bit
lemon-'' Yes. sir: on q bit o
lemon" replied the eorpulent one "bu
| see no lemon replied the funny man
well. who said YOU could2' savagel
roared the corpulent individual. as h
got ND and busted himself off with HI
handkerchief. Can any one see IN
lemon in half dozen cocktails. say2'
Chicago Times.