Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-07-27
PUNEENT PARAGRAPHS.

list.
A cool reception-An ice cream fes.
tival.
A man should not resign-even an
umbrella-while under cloud.
If musician enjoys himself without
"measure," can he have good timer
Hanlan has won $50, 600 by his skin
with the oars, and that is good sculler-
ship.
Paris green is the fashionable color
for buckets, but it's bad taste for cur.
rant worms.
1t is terrible come down for man
to fall out of balloon and be obliged
to walk home.
! It takes the whole legislature 10
i change q mans name. A woman can
change hers by the act of a single man.
A correspondent wants cure for
lazinesA Let him try nitro-glycerine
placed underneath his rocking chair.
A dynamite mine in Russia is not
nearly 30 destructive as brand new
ten.million dollar silver niue in Color
ado.
"H'mr' calculated Fogg. 80 they
say this play is taken from LIEF 5
should say rather that the life is taken
from the play"
"No, you don't; you must pay as you
gor exclaimed the landlord, as he
caught an impecunious boarder trying
to skip away.
"Does poultry payT asked
stranger of city dealer. "of course"
was the reply, "even the little chick
ems she'll out"
Old Crusty, who has two pretty
daughters, says he has kept bulldo
for years for the express purpose Of dis
tributing the males.
"Who was the meek est manT asked
Sunday-school teacher. "Moses."
every we'll; who was the meekest
woman" "Never was any,"
Persons with boys in the family should
know that the boys have PLATFORM
and that they always stand on it. IL
reads: "Scolding doesn't hurt, whip
ping doesn't last long, kill they dar'snt.'
Physiology" Mother, what have
people got noses for 2" asked child Of
her mother, who had seen better days.
"To turn up at poor folks, my child.~
was the cynical response.
Don Carlos, the would-be king Of
Spain, and his wife have parted. Tha
cause of The disagreement is not given,
but the neighbors say she used the royal
scepter to stir soap with, and set hen
on fourteen duck eggs in his kingly
crown.
Every little drug store has soda water fount,
Which simply raises ructions with fellows
bank account
For he meets his girl at twilight, when he'
coming home from biz,
And he sweetly has to ask her IL sl'e ed like
hear it fz.
"Poor man." exclaimed the physi-
clan, as he approached the patients
bed, che seems to be suffering from
neuralgia" "You're mistaken" said
the sick man. " Her name isn't neuralgy,
it's Sophia, and we've only been married
six months"
J. M. S.: "Csn you give me any
recipe for preserving fence posts. Please
reply in your next ISSUE" We cana
do it. We have asked several ladies.
aud ell of them say they never tried it,
believing that it would take too much
sugar, and that the thing wouldn't be
much of delicacy anyway. But they
say il you want to know how to fl, to-
matoes or can green corn, they can
food you with information.
"Is Mr.. Vanderbilt in ?" asked Q
gentleman of person who was lounging
at the entrance of the officers apart
ments at the Grand Central depot, New
York. The latter regarded his inter
rogator with look Of mingled pity and
contempt as he answered.: "In Welb
should say so. Lake Shore stock was
0S three weeks ago and now it's 1I2.
He's in about $500. 600 if he's in =
cent"
A ATexan stopped into Philadelphia
tonsorial saloon TO have his hair CUT
The OH siating artist having enveloped
his victims neck in towels and com
pressed him securely In the chair
opened the conversation by sayings
You are q little nervous. sir. per-
ceive Allow me to nay that our UApile
larry Elixir not only covers bald heads
with luxurious Growth Of hair, bus