The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-30
WHY WE LAUGH.

The Philadelphia Press thinks Guiteau
should be happy man. Nobody will ask
him where he is going to spend his Fourth
of July.
1t Is announced that Anna Dickinson will
attempt Othello next year. She should re-
feet that the Moor she plays the more she
will be criticized.
~ said i'm my wrath" remarked the inspired
writer, call men are liars. That was rash. /
will reconsider it and say that all men who
catch trout are liars"
We have failed so sadly in efforts to reach
the North Pole that it begins to look as If
the pole were taking pity on us and were
coming down halfway to meet us.-Rome
Sentinel.
"You have terrible high pulse" said a
doctor to well known local politician the
other day. "Why not drop your boom t?
| guess the people can find you if they want
you." The parting was very cool one.-
Boston Globe. --@.
A New York State man who tried a flying
machine of his own invention last week had
no advice to give those who crowded around
him. All he said was {: "Work in 'durned
fool somewhere on my tombstone.'-Cin-
cinRati Gazette.
An eloquent preacher was discoursing in
a tent. His discourse was so extremely pa
thetic that the audience, with the exception
of single person, was moved to tears. The
could listen to the discourse unmoved, made
answer, "Oh, dinna belong to this parish"
"Mother," said little Ned, one morning,
after having fallen out of bed, 81 think
know why fell out of bed last night. 1t
because l slept too near where l got in"
Musing a little while as if in doubt whether
he had given the right explanation, he added:
"No, that wasn't the reason; it was because
slept too near where l fell out"
A young man recently returned to San
Francisco from Montana gave his grand
mother such hug that she tainted. A ply
sician found that three ribs were dislocated
and the old lady continues under treatment.
N. Y. Tribune. A young man, recently re-
turned to Chicago from st. Louis, gave his
girl such hug that she tainted. A physi-
clan found that no ribs were dislocated, and
the girl explained that she tainted from grief
because Arthur seemed to have lost his grip.
Omaha Bee.
A young man in the train was making fun
of lady's hat to an elder gentleman in the
seat with him. eyes," said his seat mate,
"that's my wife and told her if she wore
that bonnet some fool would make fun of
1t. The young man slid out. At the next
station the man poured out his hot coffee
into the saucer to cool. "Look, ma" said
a snickering girl, sat that old. fashioned way
of drinking" eyes," said the old gentle
man, 'and it was old fashioned manners not
to notice it," The elderly gentleman fin
ished his journey in peace.-Detroit Free
Press.
"To prove that our fashions are very unsta-
Quoth snugg to friend as they sat at the
table,
"I'll tell you what people first ask in New
York,
And he pressed nice piece of roast duck on
"And then what in Boston they deem it po-
lite
To ask of stranger the very first night,
In Gotham they ask, Well, what are you
As if gold were all they esteemed upon
earth.
In the Hub people say, with wisdom aglow,
pleased, sir, to meet you, but what do you
know"
Boston Post