The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-12-14


The Dakota town OF Pierre has a new
Jail, and some people wonder because a
local newspaper man praises il as "a
substantial wooden structure Even
a pine Jail ought to hold man until
the neighbors can get a rope.
A German emperor made visit to
one Of his towns, and was received at
the gate bya long row Of deputies. Just
as they were about to address him a
nelghboring donkey set up terrible
bray, Gentlemen" said the emperor.
III you wish me to understand you, you
must speak one at time"
Halo" calculated guardian to his
pretty niece as he entered the parlor
and saw her in the arms of a swain,
who had just popped the question and
sealed it with kiss, whats the time
of day now" Il SHOULD think it was
half-past twelve" was the cool reply of
the blushing damsol you see we are
almost one"
ANY bodycalled this morniugP" ask
ed the editor of a country paper Of his
assistant, whom he met on the stairs.
YES, our subscribers are up stairs"
What. all of emp Yes, they're all
there" What did you do, then? We've
only got two chairs 90 | borrowed
one next door
About six hundred years ago a coun-
try editor started Joke about a printer
who made a mistake in setting up
piece OF copy. The next week the edi-
tor tried to set up a three-line editorial,
and the proof looked like Alexandria af-
ter the bombardment, or q rubber over
shoe after three years service.
john said the cashiers wife, drop
ping into the bank in the midst of
shopping trip, you forgot to leave me
that money this morning What
name" asked the cashier, without look
Ing up. Name! namer' exclaimed the
lady, Il am your wife, "No doubt,
no doubt, answered the cashier me-
chemically, and going on with his writ
ing; but you will have to bring some
one to identify YOU"
A man who never has money enough
on hand to pay his bills bought pair
Of boots on credit. How much are
theyP' Five dollars If you buys on
credit, as usual. but ten dollars if YOU
pays cash down" How is that2" well,
you see, said the simple minded shoe
maker, wen ! sells on credit | knows
it is dead loss, so | makes the loss so
schmall as possible"
Doctor" said lisping fashionable
belle, who had graduated at boarding
school, TO gentleman who had been
introduced to her at an evening party
Doctor which do you prefer, tholidity
Of intellect or brillianthy9 Thum adj
mire tholidity; but ath for me, as
Shakespeare thayth in his Bride Of
Abydoth,' prefer tholidity and brili-
anthy combined. " The doctor sank into
the nearest chair exhausted.
The dancing lady, who tries to wear
the skirt OF her dress under her arm and
the waist around her knees, and kicks
Der slippers clear over the orchestra
chairs every night, gets 5000 week,
and the city missionary gets $500
year; the horse-race scoops in $1,000
the first day. and the church fair lasts
week, works thirty of its best women
nearly to death, and comes ont $40 in
debt.
Scene in a newspaper office; Enter
Mr.. Smith. See here, Mr.. Editor, l
want to know what you mean by allow.
ing your paragrapher to make fun of
the Smiths. There may be good many
OF US, but | just want YOU to understand
that We honor our name, and we don't
intend TO stand - The Editor;
But, my dear sir, you forget; my name
is Smith, Mr.. Smith; 'By Jove, so
it Is; never thought OF it, Well. 80
much the more reason why you should
kick out that Photographer for -"
Editor; But his name is Smith, too"
Mr, Smith; The ID you say" Eli.
tor. NO, said Smith, and our fore.
man is named Smith, and the proof
reader is named Smith, and half doz-
en- of the men who set up the copy are
named smith Coniound ii, sir, we've
got right to make fun Of the Smiths il
we want TO-" Mr., Smith; II tumble.
Good.hy,"