The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-12-09
Hints on Hcuss4 Cleaning.
low true the words of the poet;


How true the words of the poet:
'Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
| The saddest are thoSe-hOuse-cleaDin agen.
And vet the average housekeeper fails tC
perceive it in that particular illumina.
ton. She affects to dislike house-elean-
ing, and earnestly informs her neighbor
over the back fence how she breads its
approach, and what a terrible nuisance
it is, and how she would give twenty
dollars if the awful job was cover with. "
But all the same, she wouldn' tfOrego the
pleasure and the excitement of the OPP.
Grafton for a new bonnet, with ten
dollar feather on it. On such occasions
she is the tyrant of the household, and
she enjoys her brief reign.
| Ii on the eve of the depressing event,
during her absence from home, some
kind neighbors were TO break into her
house and thoroughly cleanse it from
cellar to attic, she would commence next
day to tear up the carpets, slosh around
with her dress pinned up, and now and
then impatiently murmur that she can I
| conceive how in the world house gets
so dirty in six months,
When woman gets the ballot, the next
thing she will clamor for will be Con-
gressional enactment making house
cleaning an imperative duty six times a
year,
Man, however, is differently consti-
tuted. The excitement and confusion
attending housekeeping don't thrill his
entire being with q ho!y and ecstatic
thrill Not much. He would enjoy life
with quite as much genuine enthusiasm
if the aggravation did not occur oftener
than once in Il century-and also feel
less like pirate. There are some spe-
cies of wild and exciting fun for which
he doesn't yearn with a soul-consuming
yearnfulness, and housekeeping is one
of them. 1t is in his behalf, therefore,
that we offera few practical hints on the
subject, the adoption of which would rob
the semi-anuual incubus of much of its
terrors, and make man feel less like
building q cave and becoming a pro-
fcssional hermit.
HouSe-cloaning should always be com
menccd on q cloudy and drearv day,
when a married man is generally in
a good humor, and wants vent for the
exuberance of his Joy. Don't employ
extra help, in order to finish the work in
twenty-four hours. Extend the whole
business over at least four days, Just to
please your husband. He will appreci-
ate your economy, if he isn't brute.
Always time the workso that the dining
room will be in sloppy and nightmare
ish condition at noon, and your husband
will be obliged to climb over table, q
lounge, three pictures and six chairs,
which blockade the door leading to the
kitchen, where he will find "coId bite
prepared on the head of a -four barrel,
and woman with whitewash brush in
her hand. As soon as he gulpS down
his lunch, gently invite him to accom-
pany you to the parlor, TO lift one end of
the piano while you pull out the carpet.
He will acquiesce and follow you with
q peaceon-earth-and- good will-to-man
smile on his face-and you may imagine
you hear him gritting his teeth, but he
feels too happy for that.
You will not forget to unwittingly
place piece of soap at the head of the
stairs. He may he in great hurry to
get back to the office, after spraining
his back at the piano, and the soap will
enable him to go down ten steps without
touching anything but air until he reach
es the bottom. His insane haste may
startlc you at first, but when you remem-
Der that you left pail of water stand
ing at the bottom of the stairs to break
his fall, and see him wearing such q
heavenly counterance as he rubs the sore
places so afectionatcly, you will feel
amply repaid for your thoughtfulness.
The delicious sensations experienced
by man when he migrates from the
head of Il flight of stairs to the bottom
in single flying leap, aud alights in q
| pail OF dirty water at the terminus, may
| be better ;magined than described, Ii
this interesting episode did not occur he
would failto absorb the beauties of house
cleaning.
Don't remove the globes from the
chandeliers. 1t IS waste of time. The
servant can be depended upon to knock
them oil with some article of furniture
! before hOuse-cleaning season is half a
day old, and new globes always look
well.
When your husband comes home in
the evening, weary and worn with the
business cares of the day, cheer him
with pleasant smile and the informa.
ton that the carpet in the bedroom must
be tackled down before he retires. II
will be so instructive and edifyinr to
listen to his dignilied remarks when he
fails to make the carpet connect by about
six inches; and when he straightens un
at brief intervals to wonder if the comet
will plunge into the sun and whether
there will be any carpets to put down in
the next world, and vigorously declares
that it was hugo blunder that man
wasn't built with a gate hinge in his
back, YOU will know that he is cnjoyino
| himself
Always leave few carpet-tacks scat
tered about the floor after everything
else is arranged. When your husband
jumps out of bed y, four o'clock a. m.
to see if the comets tail is seven millions
of miles longer than on the preceding
morning, he will be pointedly reminded
that house cleaning is over, and this
thought will cause him to rejoice with
exceeding rejoiceness. His inadvertent
language, however, may convey CON
trary impression.
If these hints, and few others that
will suggest themselves to the intelligent
and experienced housewifo-such as
knocking leg from under the cook
! stove and slSiliup tina hot Goals ovor tho