The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-12-27
TRE BAD BOY IN LOVE.
He Felt as. ne Had the Chills, but was as
Warm as Toast.

"How's things over in your house??'
inquired the grocery mar Of the bad
boy. ssAnd say what's the matter with
YOU You are all dressed up, and have
got a clean shirt on, and your shoes
BACKED, and [ notice your pants are not
raveled out so at the bottom of the legs
behind. You are not in love, are your"
well, I should SMILE" said the boy,
as he looked into a small mirror on the
count er, covered with fly specks. "a
gid got mashed On me, and ma says it is
good for q boy who hasn't got no sister
to be in love with a girl, and SO | kind
of tumbled to myself, and she don't go
nowhere without I so with her. take
her to dancing school, and everywhere,
and she loves me like a house ON fire.
Say was you eyer in love? Makes a fell
low feel queer, don't it. Well, sir, the
first time | went home with her [ put
my arm around her, and honest, it
scared me. It was just like when you
take hold of the handles of an electric
battery and you can't let go till the
man turns the knob. Honest, was
Just as weak as a cat. [ thought she had
needles in her belt, and was going to
take my arm away, but 1t was just left
like it was glued OIL. I asked her if she
felt that way, too, and she said she used
to, but it was nothing when you got
used to it. That made me mad. But
she is older than me and knows more
about 1t. When 1 was going to leave
her at the gate, she kissed me. and that
was worse than putting my arm around
her. By gosh, L trembled all over just.
like [ had chills, bnt [ was warm IS
toast. She wouldn't let go for much as
a minute, and / was tired as though |
had been carrying coal up stairs. Idis
not want TO GO home at all, bat she. said
it would be the best way for me to go
home and come again the next day; and
the next morning / went to her house
before any of them were up, and her pa
came out to let the cat in, and I asked
him what time his girl got up, and he
LATED and said I'd better go home and
not be picked till | get ripe. Say, how
much does it cost to get married.
"Well, I should say you had got it
bad said the grocery man, as he set
out q basket Of beets. ''You'Te getting
in love will be a great thing for your pa
though. You have won't time to play
n u,ora ioJra, on hin, ~
"Oh, I guess we can find time to keep
pa from getting lonesome. Have you
seen him this morning? You ought to
have seen him last night. You see, my
chum's pa has got q setter dog stuffed.
1t is mi that died two years ago, and he
thought q great deal of it, and he had it
stuffed, for a ornament. Well, my chum
and me took the dog and put it Oh our
front steps, and took some cotton and
fastened it to the dogs mouth SO it looked
just like froth, and we got behind the
door and waited for pa to come home
from the theater. When pa started to
come up the steps, I growled and pa
looked at the dog and said: Mad dog,
by crimus.' and he started down the
sidewalk, and my chum banked just
like a dog, and I 'ki-yi-d' and groWled
like 8 dog that gets licked; and you
ought to see pa run. BE went around
in the alley, and was going to get in the
basement window, and my chum had q
revolver with some blank cartridges,
and we went down in the basement, and
when pa was trying to open the window
my chum began firing toward pa. Pa
hollered that it was only him, and not q
burglar, but after my chum fired foul
shots. pa ran and climbed over the fence
and then we took the dog home, and
stayed with my chum all night, ant
this morning ma said pa didn't gee
home till four o'clock, and then a pc
liceman came with him, and pa talked
about mad dogs and being taken for /
burglar and nearly killed, and she saie
she was afraid pa had took to drinking
again, and she asked me if / heard an,
firing of guns, and I said no, and thel
she put a wet towel on pas head
"You ought to be ashamed" said tn
grocery man. How does your pa lik'
your being in love with the girl Doe
he seem to encourage you in it?'
aOh, yes. She was up to GU house t
borry some tea and pa patted her o.
the cheek and rugged her, and said sh
was q dear little daisy. and wanted he