The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-10-04

The ruling passion strong in death:
"John," feebly moaned society lady,
who was about shutlling off this mortal
coil; John, if the newspapers say any
thing about my debut into another
world, just send me a dozen marked
copies"
81 met lovely woman from Rome,
Ga, yesterday, and she said I've
been at summer resorts for month,
and all want now is to be in my back
porch at home in loose wrapper and
my face buried in q Georgia water
melon "-Ahanta Constitution
Polo is game played by thin-legged
young men who smoke cigarettes
They ride sawed-off horses and try to
knock a wooden ball across n lot. Ben
jamin Franklin. George Washington,
and several other men whose memories
are held in high esteem never played
polo.-DetroH Free Press.
Arab Bey to his Adjutant before re-
firing for the night: You have re-
ceiyed the reports from the different
commands?" Adjutant--"I have" Ar
abi-"Our soldiers are securely tied,
hand and footP' Adiutant- They
are" Arab -"Mash Allah! | shall
then have an army to fight with in the
morning"
Society life in Des Moines, Iowa; "a
young couple in the gallery of the opera
house last night were so overcome by
the beautiful forms on the stage that
they sank into each others arms with a
kiss and hug. The young man wore
an immense wide-brimmed hat, which
the young lady worked vigorously as a
fan to keep him cool. A rural rooster
who saw the performance yelped with
envy"
"Pa, what is pessmist, and what is
an optimistic "a pessimist, my son, is
one who takes the surplus kittens, just
after they are born, and chloroiorms
them The optimist is one who lets the
kittens grow up, to live a wretched,
starving life to be tortured continually
by boys and other thoughtless animals,
and to be finally killed with brickbats
and left TO rot on the streets"
Father, if mother should sit in
chair and you should want it, you would
say, Get up dear wouldn't you?n
"Yes," said !. But" said the little
four-year-oId, ''if / should sit in It chair
you wanted, you would say, Get
down, dearp" "Well, what is the diff
ference?" said she; and as if perfectly
satisfied that she had given utterance to
a poser. she replaced her thumb in her
mouth again, and looked sidewise with
rougish smile on her countenance.
Lately at the Theatre, Royal, Dubbo,
Australia, while Mrs South was singing
magnifcently in mime. Angot,"
bearded and top-booted miner entered
the auditorium and sought out his rough
looking and coarsely -attired mate.
"Well, chum? how is it getting onp"
asked the late conner. well" replied
the other, "she was a singin' just like
old peaches 9ll to herself, until lot If
yUiiu" ;iie+, a,s,l u0l4IIu &" ineu III anu
drowned her pretty voice by jining their
screeches into regular gulch squall. !"
Three years ago seaside summer
boarder, while straying along the bed of
stream that had been left partially
bare by excessive drouth, discovered,
lying upon the sand, conchiferous
bivalvular mollusk vulgus, clam-that
seemed to be in the last gasp from ex-
haustion and thirst. Plying the sore
distress of the unhappy bivalve, the
stranger took it up and cast it into the
deep part of the stream, and went on
his way happy in the thought of kind
ness done. He speedily forgot the in
cident A week ago, however, as he
was enjoying again summer vacation,
and sitting near the spot where the
event of three years before had taken
place, he perceived clam clamboring
laboriously over the rocks toward him.
Arrived with much eXertion at the feet
of the amazed obseryerthe clam opened
its shell and disclosed a pearl as large
as hazel nut. This the gentleman un-
hesitatingly appropriated, and thereup-
on the grateful clam, smiling clear
around to its back hinge, returned joy
fully to the water and disappeared with
a gurgle of satisfaction. From "lAG
Sunlmer Boarder and the Cldm."