davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1882-12-06
The Result of Forty Years
lEXPERIENCE1

Has placed DIR. Ira Hatch's Febrlfuge Mixture at
the head OF the list OF medicines for Coughs Colds Group.
and all Lung Diseases. II combines good qualities
than any other similar remedy II the result OF
OF study and experiment during the long and successful
practice OF Dr. Hatch Of SwAnOn, who considered II the
greatest OF his life II confidently
mended by other physicians of that time among whom
DIR. n II. Balou, fayoahy known In ~. AlbAns II was
used by hundreds who did hesitate 10 give their written
eommendaiion. II acts quickly energetcally, effectively
and without depletion removes the and brings a
II Is perfectly safe for the child well those OF Ad-
vanced Its best results attained In small doses
We continually receiving letter. and words of com
mendAOn showing the high esteem In which II held by
those who use It, II will break up Cold OF Influenza in
twelve hours aud give immediate relief To the most ohst-
nate Cough II Ia sovereign remedy In Group, and should
be In house where there children liable sudden
attacks. II will break up Lung Fever other medicine
being required II relieves Asthma, whoopng Cough, cures
Congestion OF the Lungs and Throat and IA used
ALWAYS with Good Result.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1882-12-06

DURING Martin Van Buren's brief mission
to England, it is said, he attended one OF
the soirees of Queen Adelaide; at which in
conversation with him, she inquired how
far back he could trace his ancestry Gas
far back as Undertook (where he was
born) may it please your majesty" replied
Mr.. Van Buren, with the grave urbanity
characteristic of him. Supposing the name
OF German princes paid still greater defer
ence TO her guest.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1882-12-06

A ST. LOUIS lady wants $4,000 damages
from man who kissed her against her will.
1t is needless to add that the man is worth
no such sum. Had he been, kiss from
him wouldn't have been Objectionable.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24

IDENTITY taken down the shutters to see what
the row was about.
Don't care a dod gastcd nickel with hole
in it" protested Mr.. Spoopendyke,
thoroughly impatient Here's one that's
going to open his mouth or the resurrection
will find him still wrestling with the ostensi-
bic head of this family. Own ard Mr.
Spoopendykc, having rammed the knife into
the palm of his hand slammed the oyster
against the chimney-piecc, where it was
shattered, and danced around the room
wriggling with wrath and agony.
Never mind the oysters dear cried Mrs.
Spoopendyke, following him around and
trying to disengage his wounded hand from
his armpit.
Who's minding cm ? roared Mr.. Spoop-
cndykc, standing on one leg and bending up
double. Il tell ye that when | start to inflict
discipline on II narrow minded oyster that
won't either accept an invitation or send
regrets, he's going to mind me Where's the
oyster? Show me the oyster Arraign the
oyster
Upon my word you've opened him., gig
gled Mrs. Spoopendyke, picking the
smashed bivalve between the tips of her
thumb and forefnger.
Won't have him. shifted Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, eyeing the broken shell and firing his
defeated enemy into the CRATE. If | can't
go in at the front door of an oyster, I'm not
going down the scuttle! That all comes of
laying em on the Hat she'll he continued,
suddenly recollectng that his wife was to
blame for the whole business. Now you
take the rest of 'em down and lay 'cm as ]
told you to-
Yes, dear.
And another time you want any oysters,
you sit around in the cellar, and when they
open their mouths, you put sticks in. You
hear?
Yes, dear
And Mrs. Spoopendykc took the bivalve.
back, resolving that the next time they were
in demand they would crawl out of theil
shells and walk up stairs arm in arm before
she would have any hand in the mutilatior
of her poor, dear, suffering husband by
bringing them up herself. .- Brooklyn Eagle
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
A $l,500,000 Diamond Found,

From all accounts, the wonderful Koh-i-
moor, or Mountain of Light" the property
of her Brittanic Majesty, is eclipscd by re-
Gently discovered diamond found in South
Africa, and now in possession of Mr.. Porter
Rhodes, who is, we believe the fortunate
discovercr of the gem. The weight of the
newly-found stone is l50 carats.
1t is uncut, but from its peculiarly favor.
able shape it is not expected to lose more
than 10 carats during the process. The dia-
mond is as big as very large walnut, and
is described as like "a hailstonc in sunlight,
of II bcwitching transparency, and brillian t
whitcness no other precious metal can vie
with" Most Cape diamonds are of an inferior
ycllowish tinge, which detracts from the val
ne of the stones but this specimen is not
only the largest ever discovered, but of
purity unsurpassed by any Of its compcers.
We understand that the stone was recently
shown to the Prince of Wales at Marbor-
ough House, and that his best diamonds
when placed beside the Porter-Rhodes stone
were seen to he off-color" Offers for his
property flow in upon the lucky owner from
all parts of Europe. The first offer received
was 100000; the last made was c100, 600
The owners banks, we hear, are willing to
advance 900 against the security. The
stone will not, it is thought, change hands
under f20O, ,OOO which is just 100000 more
than the famous Koh-i-noor is valued at.
Mr.. Portcr-Rhodes asks the trtling sum of
e3OO, 900, or 100, 600, for his property, and
does not seem in IA hurry to dispose of it. 1t
is rumored that Il Russian Prince is in treaty
for the jewel
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
Fulfllment of a Dream.

Myer Rubenstein, a Paterson (N.J) jewell
er, has worn a $3.50 diamond pin for the last
thirty-two years. On Sunday last he lost it,
as he supposed, while in the cellar, but the
closest search failed to discover its where
abouts, although everything in the cellar was
thoroughly oyerhauled, and several barrels of
onions empticd and each onion examined
Mrs Rubenstcin, while sitting in a chair in
the store, fell asleep. In her dreams young
girl, somewhat resembling her own daughter,
appeared to her and seemed to say, "GonH
find pas pin in the second barrel of onions"
Mrs. Rubcnstein awokc and Immediately
went down into the cellar, and from barrel
of onions which she overturned there rolled
out some decayed onions, in one of which
lay the diamond pin, firmly embedded in the
soft mass They now believe in the efficacy
of dreams in the Rubcnstein family.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
Couldn't See the Analogy,

To the class in metaphysics at the uniyer-
sity the professor was trying the other day to
impress upon "a student the theory that the
mind is always active, even while the senses
sleep. In this connection Illustrations were
drawn from certain powers possessed by the
lower animals, together with the inference
that man, possessed higher intelligence than
brutes, must be able to do more than they.
"A turkey in tree" said the professor pres
emily, twill sleep all night long on Il twig
not much larger around than this lead-pencil
in my hand. How would such an act be
possible if the intelligence or will was not
consciously active in order to make allow
ance for the swaying causedby the wind and
enable the turkey to strike a point of equili-
brium 2" 'I}ut Professor" put in the matter
of-fact student, II don't think ii is correct TO
infer that man could sleep all night on such
a twig without falling off"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
BLOOMSBURY, Pa, FRIDAY. MARCH "a. 1882

in every act, official and individual This
accounts for much of the confidence rcposcd
in him which showed itself at the recent
great battle TO secure the management and
control Of the trust. In politics he Is a Dem.
ocrat, and ii is an open secret that the nom
ination of his party for the Govcrnorship is
within his grasp at any time. His past life
and acts as man and manager, accounts
for the rest; to the gentleman who approach
es him as only gentleman will, he is afTable
and kind. To the bore he is quick to speak
and rough in his actions; to his intimate
friends he is cordial and communicative TO
his family, he is indulgent and kind, and to
the world, he is plain +. b. Gowcn, who
courts no title, no homage, and cannot be
fiattcrcd by the mention of his name for pub
lie position. His life is devoted to working
out the great problem of the restoration of
the Reading Railroad Company to solvcncy
and prosperity. 1t is to be hoped that his
success in his labor will be "A paramount to
his merits. Sol. FOSTER JR.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
A Strange if True" Story About Santa Anna

Judge Major of Kentucky, recently re-
lated the following story of Santa Anna, the
Mexican Dictator; did you ever hear" he
said "that he was II Kentuckianf" con-
fesscd that | never had. "Wcl, that is be-
lieycd by many old people about Frankfort;
| have heard it from boyhood. 1t is said
that Santa Anna, afterward President of the
Mexican Republic, was an illcgitimate son of
Nat Sanders, of this country. While a
youth he went to New Orleans in hatboat.
and was never afterwards heard from.
When captured at San Jacnto, in 1886. he
was brought to this place on his way to Wash
ington, and was recognized by the Sanders,
who recognized him as their illegtimate and
long lost relative. He did not deny it. lie
spoke English like Kcntuckan, and with
II Kentucky accent. One of the Sanders had
determined to kill him, on account of the
death of relative in the massacre of the
Alamo, but abandoned that intention on
learning that they were blood relatives,
The mother of Evan f. Settle. Of Owenton,
was Il Sanders, and she bears marked
resemblance to the pictures of Santa
Anna. Larkin f. Sanders, Representative
from Carroll county to the present General
Assembly belongs to the family, as also did
the noted George n. Sanders, who figured so
prominently in politics during the admins
| trations of Pierce and Buchanan
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
The Boy Understood,

A stall keeper on the market had been
wanting a boy to assist him, and yesterday
one of his friends presented lad of fourteen
whom he thought would suit. After few
general inquiries the stall keeper said
This boy will have the handling of the
money in my absence, and will he exposed
to temptation
eyes, we understand that" replied the
man.
"Thc first boy | had here cmbezzled b
dollar, and discharged him"
Certainly, certainly"
'And the next stole five and | had him
sent up"
Eyes, certainly"
"And this boy"
This boy understands HIMSELF inter-
rupted the citizen. IF he cant steal
enough to make it an object FOR you to
settle with him for fifty cents on the dollar
he won't touch penny We've talked it
over and it's an understood thing.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
POetical.
TENNYsON's NEW POEM.
TIE CHARGE oE TIE HEAVY BRIGADE,
BALAKLAvA, OCTOBER 25, 1854.


The Charge OF the Gallant Three Hundred,
\ he Heavy brigade.
Down the hill, down the hill thousands Of Rus
SLAMS,
Thousands OF horsemen drew to tie valley
And stayed.
For Scarlet and scaretCs three hundred were
riding By.
when the points q the Russian lances broke In on
the sky:
And called: "Left wheel into line" and they
wheeled and obeyed.
Then he looked at the host that had halted, he
knew not why,
And he turned haf round and he bade his
trumpeter sound
ITO the charge" and he rode on ahead, as he
waved his blade,
To the gallant three hundred whose glory will
never die,
Follow and up the HIM.
Up the hill, up the HILL followed the II avy
Brigade,
The trumpet, the gsllop, the charge and the mi h
OF the fight.
Down the hill slowly thousands OF Russians
Drew to the valley and hatei at last on the height
With wing pushed oit TO the left, and q wing
to the right.
But Scarlet was far on ahead. and he dashed u
alone
| Through the great gray slope OF men,
And he whirled his sabre, he held his own
Like an Engishman there and then,
And the three that were nearest him followed with
force,
wedged themselves In between horse and horse.
| Fought for their lives In the narrow gap they had
made,
Four amid thousands; and up the hill, up the hill,
Gaoped the gallant three hundred, the Heavy
Brigade.
Fell like a cannoL- shot,
| Burst like a thunderbolJ,
Crashed like hurricane,
| Broke through the mass from below,
Drove through the midst OF the foe,
| Plunged up and down, to and fro
Rode, flashing blow upon blow,
| Brave Innlskillings and Greys.
| Whirling their sabres In clrc.es Of light,
And some OF US, all in a maze,
Who were held for while from the nght
| And were only standing at gaze
When the dark mH1i-d Russian crowd
| Folded its wings from the left and the right
And rolled them around like a cloud
| oh mad for the charge and the battle wers we,
When our own good red coats sank from sight,
| Like drops Of blood in q dark gray sea-
| And we turned to each other, mutterlng all dis
mayed:
"Lost are the gallant Three Hundred. the Heavy
Brgadew
~.
| But they rode like victors and Lords,
| Through the fore :ts OF lances and swords;
| In the heart OF the Russian hordes,
| They rode or they stood at bay;
Struck with the sword-hand and slew;
| Down with the bridlehand drew
| The foe from the saddle, and threw
| Under foot there IN the fray;
Ragged like II Storm or stood like rock
| In the wave Of stormy day;
| Till suddenly, shock upon shock.
| staggered the mass from without
For our men galoped up with cheer and shout,
And the Russians surged and wavered and reeled
| Up the hill, up the hill, up the hill, out Of the
neld,
over the brow and away.
V,
Glory 10 each and to all, and the charge that they
made
| Glory to all the Three Hundred, the Heavy
Brigade.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24

A pretty good story Is told about Land
Agent Miner Of the Atchison, Topeka and
Santa Fe railroad, who one day had party
OF eastern farmers in tow, trying to sell each
OF them farm in the rich Arkansas valley.
Miner had taken them into his light wagon
and behind his spanking team of bays had
given them a grand ride, lasting all day.
He had done his best to make them enthu-
siastic by rchearsing the stories, which he
had at tongues end, OF the marvellous crops
OF the valley, but to all intents it was cloves
labor lost" for they would not 'thusc. This
annoyed Miner, but hc had his revenge in
his reply to one of tlis party, who with II
sardonic smile, asked; "Wcll, Mr.. Agent, is
there anything that won't grow here 2
"les," replied Miner, pumpkins won't"
WHAT exclaimed the cynical land-buyers
together, pumpkins WON'T" NO" said
Miner; "thcre are men in this country who
would give $3.50 an acre for land that would
mature crop of pumpkins They never
have been able to get II crop since Eve been
here, and that's ten years. We'll how
strange Why is :" said hamburger No /.
This was Miners chance, and, with Il
serious expression, he replied; Well, sir,
the soil is so rich that the vines grow so fast
they wear the pumpkins out dragging them
over the ground. - Kansas Sketches
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
How a King Earned Two Francs,

King Humbert, of ltaly,is as fond of shoot
ing as was his royal father, Victor Emmanuel.
From time to time, oblivious of all royal GUS
toms and court etiquette, he separates him
self from his suite and, gun in hand, goes
out alone in search of game, accompanied by
his two favorite dogs During one of his
excursions he was met by a peasant, who
looked on with admiration at the havoc the
king had made among Il covcy of parridges.
He did not know the monarch. He went up
to him, complimentcd him on his skill with
his gun, and then told him that if he would
come to his farm on the following morning
at day break and kill fox which had made
several raids on his hen-roost he would not
mind giving him Il couple of francs for his
trouble. King Humbert kept the appoint
mcnt, and was fortunate enough to kill the
fox. The delighted peasant welcomed him
on his return, and called his wife and chill
dren out and insisted on the King sharing
their breakfast with them. At the end of the
repast the peasant took leave of his visitor,
pressing two-franc piece in his hand which
the King tossed up in the air and caught de-
claring it was the first money he had ever
earned. Two days afterward the peasant
was surprised to see an officer in uniform
ride up in an open carriage with presents
from the King for his wife and children. He
then learned to whom he owed the obligation
and was confused at the familiar manner in
which he had hobnobbed with royalty
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
Diphthepia.

cold or sorc throat may not seem TO
amount to much, and II promptly attended
q can easily be cured; but neglect is often
followed by consumption or diphtheria.
No medicine has ever been discovered which
acts 81 qUickIy and surely IN such cases rs
PERki DANis, PAIN KILLER; The
prompt us u this fnrd'udbIe remedy has
PERRY DAVIS PAIN KILLER 8
not an experiment. 1t has been before the
pubic FOR forty years, and is most valued
VII re II Is best known.
\ few 90: tracts r in voluntary testimonials
read as 40 utS:
pAIN XII, Hr - been my household rt medy for
colds Iur tn pTst twCnty-seSen years, and have
l., CgocKEn, WilIiamsyiiIe, n, !.
found it ne,e,:fsiling remedy for colds and sore
sore throat and consider Your PAIS KILLER
invaluabie sened..-GEo b. EvEHErT, Dickinson.
hays ia.t recovered. from very severe cold.
ThSA TSsf NTH da 2r c%r sSe tins k,nS fgga gss gwseS eS
rsieyed me iImpediately, will never again be
% Have u,e Pas KinnR nJ iHTs II my family 9 for forty
years and hive never known it to fail-RANsoM
five years ago and have used it ever since and have
ht found no ptdiGine m TO take it, race-B W. DYEH'
For wfool inf; cough and Group it is, the best
Az f,SgTts Liberty MiIl15 Va n.o,
for colds and charIed iL6 and consider II the best
medicine ever oil rcd.-GEo HOOPER, ilmington,
Nc.
| was suffering Feyeroly with bronchitis, and my
tIrolt was 70 inhnmed cou scarcely swallow
Pny food ! was HdNisod tn thy your PALS KILLER,
rud 0fter king few doses was completely
Curcd.-i NlLKINsON.
nr WALrOS writes from COehCCton: Your PAIN
KILLER cures dil hthcria and throat, 70 alarm
ilgly rrey.lcnt here, and has not been known to
ilil n single ins tanCe, This fact you should
make known t. the world
MrS LLrN u MASON writes: Ny ron was taken
Violently Ok with dinhtheria. high fever, and cold
thllS; 50 E'ny children nave dltd here, WIS
afraid to call a hysician, and tried your PAIN
KILLER, He was taken on SUNDAY, and on
Wednesday his throat clenr. 1t was Il won.
derful cure, and wish it could he known to the
poor mothers who arr losing 80 many children.
For ChillS and Fever PAIN MILLER has
IA ouu 1. 1t cures when everything else fails.
D'lavS are often dangerous. A bottle OF
PAIS KILLER IN the house Is a safeguard that
10 family should be without.
All druggists sell 1t at 25c., Soc, and sI.OO
per bottle.
PERRY DAVIS g. SON, PropdetOrs
Providence, r. !.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
DESTROYING the CONTENTS OF 4 ROOM

used by small poX patient may be avoided
by using Darbys Prophylactic Fluid. 1t is
morally criminal to neglect the use of such a
disinfcctant and preventive, 1t is certainly
best to prevent the spread of disease and
those who win use Darbys Prophylaclic
Fluid freely about their houses will be saved
from the attacks of all contagious diseases
and death itself
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
PLAIN
TRUTHS

The blood is the foundation Of
life, it circulates through every part
Of the body, and unless it is pure
and rich, good health is impossible.
If disease has entered the system
the onlv sure and quick way to drive
it out is to purify and enrich the
blood.
These simple facts are well
known, and the highest medical
authorities agree that nothing but
iron will restore the blood to its
natural condition; and also that
all the iron preparations hitherto
made blacken the teeth, cause head.
ache, and are otherwise injurious.
BROWN'S Iron BIITERs will thor
oughly and quickly assimilate with
the blood, purifying and strengthen,
ing it, and thus drive disease from
any part Of the system, and it will
not blacken the teeth, cause head
ache or constipation, and is posi-.
lively net injurious.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24

The charcoal man was out calling on New
Years day Everybody in the neighbolhood
heard him. New Orleans Picayune
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
THE MAN AS WE FIND HIM.

Mr. Gowen will be forty-siX years old ON
the first monthly anniversary of his reinstate-
ment to the responsible position of President
of the Philadelphia and Reading railroad
and branches and the Coal and Iron Com
pany, His birthday occurs on the 9th of
next month, In appearance he looks like II
man of forty years, tall, dignifed and of
commanding presence. His personal mag
netic power is very great, and he has attach
ed TO himself Il larger circle of devoted
friends than any other Pennsylvania, lie
is polished speaker ripe scholar and II
man of wonderful memory, He can abstract
the cube root of any given number as quickly
as he can tell you the number of miles Of
rail of Reading railroad, But his quality is
integrity Honesty is depicted in every cx-
preston of his handsome face and is shown
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
Saved his Child.
I'm. Eutaw ST., Baltimore, Md.

y n, Eutaw ST., Baltimore, Md.
FCb. IL, 1880,
Gents Upon the recommenda.
ton Of friend ! tried BRowS's
lRoN BITTERs as tonic and re-
storative for my daughter. whom
was thoroughly convinced WAS
wasting away with Consumption.
Having lost three daughters by the
terrible disease, under the care uf
eminent physicians, was 10th to
believe that anything could arrest
the progress OF the disease, but, to
my great surprise, before my daugh.
ter had taken one bottle Of BRuwk's
lRoS BIrrERs, she began to mend
and now is quite restored to former
health, A fifth daughter began to
show signs Of Consumption, and
when the physician was consulted
he quickly said "Tonies were re.
quired !" and when informed that
the elder sister was taking BRows's
lRoS BIrTERs, responded THAT is
good tonic, take it.
ADoRAM PHHLPs.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1882-09-05

server reports that the English soldiers M
Meks are suffering from diarrh,ra ana Avs.
EMERY, caused by the bad water i'm Inc fora
IL Is stated that General Wolsslev has
telesraphed to the authorities tia, il Is mn.
tneceS 'ary to prepare third army cnrns a,
ne Only require a few reiniorcements 10
NIL up gaps,
y dispatch from KqsssSsin To the Daily
News reports the British po>ltioa Their, Ms
SO formidable that it is hoped Arab PAsha
may test bis strength against it,
ALEXANDRIA, September 3.-The b..
uoulns continue entrenching their posi-
tlons on the Aboukir side OF Alexandria.
IN IL, close proximity to the British ou,postS.
lie khedlve has given the british permi..
tlon TO cut the dykes at Meks. thus inun.
dating Ma'iout lake and preventing an at
McA oy the enemy from that side. Ad-
wees nom Cairo say great anxiety is felt
there lest the perfect OF police be unable Ia
maintain order despite his unceasinr Of
i3rts The populace continue to menace
the lew remaining Europeans, and threaten
wholesale plumber.