The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-03-24
HUM0Rs OF THE DAY.
TIE man who is corned is very apt to
on his ear and stalk off

TIE man who is corned is very apt to
get on his ear and stalk of.
A MAN eats cloves between acts so that
not breath Of suspicion may be cast on
his temperance character.
ALWAYS look ON the bright side; a
mighty ugly hired girl can ring the bell
for mighty good dinner.
IT MAY be said of the "belle Of the
ball that when she bows assent to an
invitation to the dance, "she stoops to
concur"
BkRTENDERs are the most sociabIe set
on earth. They break the ice oft
ener and finer than AUTHORIZATIONS
i'sgton Eye.
DoN'T throw away your old four-bar-
rels. They are useful. It has been
found that an ordinary hour-barreI viii
hold 678, 900 silver dollars.
gregation better than the highwayman?
/ Does it not make the poor preacher
/ stand and deliver every Sunday?
"THE muses. kiss with lips of fame"
I says recent poet of the new order.
Then we are thankful that we are not
courting any of the muses. just now.
We don't wish to have our mustache,
burned off
"YoU just ought to see how 1 was pay
ing attention to Miss Flapjack out at the
picnic. did you speak to her ?" 80
no didn't proceed to that extreme,
but patted her poodle dog ON the back
when she wasn't looking. - Austin Sift-
irags.
DEAR, dearl" exclaimed Mrs. Brown.
- have lust been over to see Clara
Poor child s. ia~dying of .e1l1sali.,,
"Why, how you talki" cried Mrs. Home
spun; then, adding, as she moved away
from her visitor: "Mercyl 'Tain't ketch-
in, is itI''
GENTLEMEN of the jury" said a
blundering counsel, in a suit about lot
OF hogs, There were just thirty-six in
the drove. Please remember the fact
thirty-six hogs; just three times as many
as IN that jury box, gentlemen. That
counsel didn't gain his case.
THE lecturer began: "There is a for
tune lying in wait" Up jumped a
bullet-headed fellow in the northeast
corner to remark: "Well [ guess you're
Jones, the butcher Three years age
he wasn't wuth a dollar. He's got
fortin now. Got 1t, as you say, by ly-
ing in weight" The bullet-headed man
said no more, but tue lecturer was i'll at
ease during the entire evening. Boston
Transcript.
SIZE was bright eyed and rosy checked:
In fact, very pretty. She arranged two
car seats SO that she might have abund-
ant room. Then she opened her book
satchel and began to take notes of her
morning lesson. How charming to see
the young female mind develop, thought
we. She took notes Just three minutes.
and then, oh, horrors she unfolded a
flash story paper and read slush for half
an hour. Her beauty faded so rapidly
that when she left the car we thought
she was the plainest person we ever
saw
"GooD morning, Fogg, said Brown,
briskly. "How did you like the opera
last night?" Oh so-so," answered Fogg,
moodily; nothing striking about It,
excepting the drum-sticks.'' "Come,
come" returned Brown, "be serious.
Didn't you think that bravura passage
pizzicato and appogiatura embellish-
ments were lovely!" "Guess didn't
see it, replied Fogg as before; " there
was only feathers and flowers and things
on the one in front of me-" What are
you talking about, man ?" exclaimed
Brown. "ThGt girls hat, of course.
Wash t you?' GOOD morning" said
Brown. as he turned the corner.