The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1882-03-24
Odd Items.

Inquirer" asks: Can man be Christ
ian and play euchre? The opinion is that
be can play euchre, but he probably will not
win if he is conscientious.
\ little boy who has been used to receiving
his older brothers old toys and clothes re-
Gently remarked, MA, will have to marry
his widow when he dies Up. |. Man
Told the truth When we asked our girl
to marry us she said she didn't mind-and
we have since found out that she didn't
Toledo American.
A Bostonian has discovered that the cir
cuar saw was first introduced into this
country about the year 1917; but the year in
which IA man first placed his hand on rapid
ly revolving buzz saw to learn if it was NOV
ing still remains in doubt Norristown
Herald
A prisoner in an Iowa Jail tried to escape
and was shot and wounded. He now sues
the jailer for damages caused by the shooting.
The politicians haven't got all the cheek in
this country.
a scientist says: Every person carries
enough phosphorus in his body to make
1000 ordinary matches" All that girls who
desire to become iirst-class matches have to
do is to chew wood
A western exchange wants to know why
anthracite coal is delivered in Liverpool for
$500 per ton, and at Decorah, Iowa, forSl1.-
00 if railroads are such a blessing. Our CO.
temporary doesn't appear to understand that
it costs money to build railroads but the
ocean was already there. and doesn't cost n
cent for repairs.
An Ohio journalist fired twcnty-siX bnllcts
at IA stuffed alligator lying on II sand-bank,
and then paid boy two shillings to tell him
whether he was cross-eycd or only stone
blind.
\ Cincinnati man who wanted to avoid
arrest, disguised himself as book agent,
and could not get within twenty rods of a
policeman.
"You made a fool Of me-" said an irate
man to his wife. My love-" she sweetly re-
sponded, you do yourself injustice, Call
yourself fool, if you wish but remember
you are in all respects Il sclf-made man.
Physicians say it is not healthy to sleep in
the daytime, That is why the baby which
is taken to church never goes TO sleep. 1t
knows what is good for its health,
Il find that with light meals my health m-
proves" said an EsquimauX; and down went
another condle.
They have a brand of whiskcy in Ken
llucky known as "Thc Horn of plenty"
because it will corn you copiously.
Detroit Chaf.
Horse racing, says Western preacher is
an ulcer. No sir, you are mistaken. It's
simply a runaround
In u trial before Justice at Dodge city,
II witness who was being bullyrNgged by Il
cross-eXamining lawyer called ON the Court
for protection, The Justice handed him a
pistol. Il have no further questions" said
the lawyer
Sentiment ON ice "How beautiful is the
dome of Heaven this evening" said Angelica
as she leaned heavily on his arm "The stars
seem to look down upon u.s., 'Oh, yes 4"
said practical John, Its impossible for them
to look up to us, you know, They cawn't" ="
Sudden check to an evenings fin of most de-
lghtful sent mentality,
| A giyeaway' Yesterday the wife of one
, of our friends returning home knocked at
| her own door Nobody coming she rang
: again. Still nobody. Finally, at louder,
longer ring, the valet concluded TO show him.
self, Pray are you deafJ' said the lady
i beg pardon, madame said the valet
d TRANQUILITY, "but ! hoald only the thirt
ring