The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1882-01-25
A Sioux Bill Of Fare.

One of the peculiarities of the latest
United States style of feeding the
noble red man is the fact that he is
given governments rations, and at the
same time appropriations are made
which are supposed to maintain him.
Sometimes q wild Indian who don't
know much about groceries and how to
prepare them for food, comes in and
draws his regular soldier ration in his
way. For instance, up in the Sitting
Bull country awhile agoa an Indian
came in from the warpath who had
never seen any of the paleface style of
food, and drew his rations.
He made light meal of unground
coffee the first day, and as he overate,
and theicofee swelled in him, he had
difficulty in buttoning his pants around
the pain that he had on hand.
he felt very unhappy for day or
two, but laid it to the fact that he hadn't
exercised much, and the consequent
ennui and indigestion resulting there
from. As soon as he succeeded in get
ting the interior departments quieted
down little, he ate his ration of can
dies. These he decided to par-boil, in
order to avoid trouble of Indigestion.
The dish was not so much of a glitter
ing success as he had anticipated, and
as he remorselessly picked the candle
wick out of his teeth, with a ten pin,
he made some remark that grated
harshly on the aesthetic ears of those
who stood near.
He then tried meal of yeast powder
with vinegar. He wet the yeast
powder and then took pint of ex-
tremely potent vinegar to wash it down.
at first there was feeling of glad sur
prise in his stomach, which rapidly
gave place to unavailing remorse. A
can of yeast powder in an Indians midst
don't seem to be prepared for pint
OF vinegar, and the result of such an
unfortunate combination is not graft
flying.
Every little whilea look of pain would
come over the features of the noble
child of the forest, and then he would
Jump about seventeen feet and try to
kick a cloud out of the sky. Then
he would sit down and think over his
past life.
1t took about week sor him to get
back to where he dared to get up
another meal for himself. Then he
fricaseed couple of pounds of laun-
dry soap and ate that. Soap is all
right for treating p air of soiled socks,
but it does not assimilate with the gas
trio juices readily, and those who have
tried laundry soap as relish do not
seem to think that it will ever arrive at
any degree of prominence as an article
of diet.
This is why this untutored child of
nature swore. He had never received
the benefits Of early training in pro-
family, and his language therefore was
disconnected and rambling, but when
we consider that he was ignorant of our
language, and hat every little while he
had to stop and hold on to his disaster
with both hands and dig great holes in
the earth with his toes. the remarks
didn't seem altogether out of place or
irrelevant.
When gallon or so of agitated bak-
ing powder and vinegar is singing its
little songin the innermost recesses of
IN Indian, and this has been followed
Oy treatment of laundry soap, the
student of human nature can find
vide field for observation in that To-
,ality.
The earnest and occupied look, the
troubled expression of the countenance,
by the quick and nervous
Of the muscles of the face
md then the swelling Of the body, the
bursting of the suspender button, the
leep drawn sigh and the smothered cuss
vord, all betokened the gastric agita-
ion going on within.
This is why an Indian prefers a link
# bologna sausagas and two-year-old
log to the high-prieed groceries so
ommon to our modern civilization
boomerang.