The bee., 1882-06-24
The Cheerful Goat,

town. He Is not domestic IN bis habits.
He is seldom ever seen asleep. The
goat is composed mainly of horns, hair
and digestive organs. When not en-
gagged III butsiEg the breath out of some
member of his own family, or peeling
the bark off the neighbers' fruit trees,
he may be found standing on an empty
beer keg, in front of the corner grocery,
gleefulIy chewing wrapping paper and
empty sardine boxes. The town goat is
respected and feared by all who are
acquainted with his eccentricities of
character. He is very reliable animal.
He can be relied on to eat weeks
washing, break several windows, and
pursue thirty-seyen dogs in the adioin-
| ing yard all in one day, and not work
half the time. Policemen shoot at
him, boys try. to discourage him with
stones, and housekeepers empty Kettles
| of hot water on him. As result of
these assaults, he usually has chips and
splinters broken off him at every curve
and angle OF his anatomy, yet withal be
is cheerful and fFolicsome. His jaunty
tail gives him debonair and rakish sp-
pearance, that causes some people to
surmise that he isn't ali that he should
be, but they JUICE him too hastily, as
people of strong preiudices are prone
to do.
These remarks about the goat are
suggested by an incident that happened
last week to an old party named Nc
| Whittier, who lives In Wisconsin, and
who owns goat. Old man McWhirter
lives on an oatmeal diet and the interest
of his money. On Monday evening of
last week, Mr.. McWhirter was out in
the yard feeding the COW. He had
taken off his coat aud laid it on the
morocco pocket-book containing govern
ment bonds to the amount of s., 900
Why Mr.. McWhirter carried the bonds
IN his pocket instead of placing them
IN the safe, We were not told. When
he had attended to the wants of the COW
and turned to get his coat, he found
that garment lying in the mud. The
goat had pulled it off the fence, and
now stood balancing himself on the
roof of the chicken coop. As he came
within the range of MeWhirter's vision,
and rock that the old man propelled |
In his direction. he was in the act of |
mastlcating what was evidently the |
remnant of red morocco poCket-book. |
As the awful and disastrous character
of the misfortune dawned on MeWhir.
ter, and he realized that his two thou
sand dollars in bonds were filed away in
the digestive machinery of four dol
lar goat, he gave vent to his feelings in
a yell that sounded like the wall of q
bagpipe leading funeral procession
and with dismay in every feature and a
three-tined hay-fork in his hand, he
went for that goat. The goat decided
not to wait for him. He did not tarry,
but proceeded-with q celeritv and
buoyancy that was miraculous in four
legged animai-to put large area of
the landscape between himself and his
owner. The goat went streaking down
the street, the irrascible old man, coat
less and hatless, in full cry in his wake.
as the pageant came tearing alo-g, the
goat bleating q derisive defiance and
Did McWhirter waving the hay fork in
the ambient cleaning and calling on
the popuiace to ''head off that g., 900
BOND, pedestrians crawled up on the
fences, hack drivers drove into alIsys,
until the procession passed. McWhirter
Ieil over two baby buggies, entangled
his hay fork in an alderman's ear. and
was several times tripped up by police
men, who thought he was crazy man.
Tor they couldn't understand WHY any
one could take SO much absorbing
IN an ordinary goat that could
De bought any day at $50 a dozen.
Nc Whirter stopped not, neither did he
stay his footsteps, but after each delay
increased his speed, and renewed his
mportunate petitions to the passers-by
% "stop the pirate T. "catch the ipeen.
ilary thief!" etc., etc. Over shruberry
n front gardens, and out through back
'ard gates. they kept on their mad I
'areer, until at last the goat was cor {
allied in stable. A butcher was sent !
or, and, under instructions from Mr..
nc Whlrter, cut the goats throat and 6
hen prled him open with an axe.
inside him was fonnd an assort- 7
nent OF clothes-pins, MANILA paper.
ay, underclothing, child's shoe, and 1
piece OF broken mirror, but there 7
7as no trace of the u. s. bonds :
lc Whittier tried to swear. but emotion z
hoked his utterance. He directed the !
utcher to give the remains to the Door !
nd went home In a hack, to find his :
ocket book and the bonds in the q
ocket of his coat where he had left ;
1em.- Texas Siftings. :
How is the soil in Kansas 2" asked q