Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-08-28

Somehow the uglieSt man always wants
to marry the prettiest woman. He is
justly proud over his own good taste, but
how mortified he must feel over his wife's.
An Ohio farmer who has barbed wire
fences all through his farm, says that he
gets one-fourth more work out of his hir-
ed man than he used to when he furnish
ed top rail to sit on.
Nora and Donald, walking together IN
the garden, discovered toad stool,
which was a curiosity to the little three
year-old. On learning the name, his dark
eyes filled with wonder, and with great
earnestness he asked, 'Is this a seat for
hop toads to sit on?"
"Oh yes," said the tramp, as tear
glistened like gum-drop upon his sum
stained face: 81 served during the entire
war;" After slowing away the comfort
able breakfast that was given him he fin
ished the sentence-''I was waiter in
a Canadian restaurant
w uCu buC NCN l. OIh NlllD WIS III
Marblehead harbor, recently, milk was so
scarce that 81 quart was offered for it.
A somewhat excited old lady, on hearing
| the news, rushed to the door, and ex-
claimed: "Just think on it! A dollar a
| quart for milk wish to the Lord had
a cow and a pump"
A little girl was asked by her mother
on her return from church how she liked
the preacher. s'Didn't like him at all, -
was the reply. "Why?" asked her moth
er. "Cause he preached till he made me
sleepy, and then hollered so loud that he
wouldn't let me go to sleep"
A boy paid his first visit to country
school the other day, as scholar, and as
he came home at night, his mother inquir-
ed: "Well, Henry, how do you like going
to school?" Gully" he replied, in an
excited voice. II saw four boys licked,
and one girl get her ear pulled, and don't
want to miss a day for anything"
Spinster landlady-' you and your
mamma want the same rooms you had
last year?" Young lady-s'Yes, Miss
Spiggins; only it isn't mamma who is
with me, but my husband. I've got mar
ried since last year" S. L.-sLor, now
have you? Pm glad to hear it. Yet, after
all, I don't know why / should be glad
you never did me any harm, poor dear!"
1t is now known that the moon has al
atmosphere, and there is reason to believt
that it is inhabited by race which ha:
advanced far beyond the people of thu
earth in sciences and mechanics. Wht
knows but they may have telescopes 81
powerful that they can watch our lovers
in their moonlight promenades. Shov
this to your daughter when she goes ou
for stroll with Charles Augustus.
A little Philadelphia boy had his lon|
curls cut off the other day, and was an
noyingly reminded of the fact by the re
marks of all his friends. To his delight
he escaped them by going with his famil
to the country. Soon after his arrival
however, he came running into the hous
In great sorrow, crying, mamma, man
ma, even the hens laugh at me: they a
say, 'Cut-cut-cut-got-y ot-your-hair-cut! ="
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