davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1882-10-18
1T Il PURELY VEGETABLE

And las all the power and efficacy of C.,lome
QLinine, without any Of the injurious after efie
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
NWllHlN c. SHORTLIDGES
ACADEMY FOR YOUNG MEN AND BOYS
MEDIA. PENN.

IL Miles from Philadelphia.
SCHOOL YEAR. OPENS SEPTEMBER y.
Fixed price covers every expense, even
books. &C. No extra charges. No incidental
Thirteen experienced teachers, all men and
all graduates. Special opportunities for apt
students TO advance rapidly. Special drill for
may select any studies or choose the regular
Eng, Eng!ish: scientific, business, Classical or
Civii engineering course: Students fitted at
colleges and polytechnic schOpls. Media has
seven churches and a Temperance charter
which prohibits the sale OF all intoxicating
drinks. For new illustrated circular address
the principal and proprietor, SWITHIN G.
SliOkTL1DGE, A. NJ. Harvard University
Graduatcl MEDIA. PENN. a3ilmd&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
NJ" READY.

NUMORS.-AS A KULE THEIR GROWTH
i is moderately steady, but slow; they f.
nally cause death. either rapidly-as, for ex-
ample, bysuffocation-or slowly, by the Lcctic
of exhaustion and pain.
CANCERS and TUMOES Of all kinds cured
without pain or using the knife; also. Skin
cessfully treated by
DRS. H. ID. and NJ. A. LONGAKER.
Ohce-l3 East Walnut street, Lancaster. Pa.
Consultation tree, sl53td
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
STOCKS.
STOCKS.
INCREASE YOUR CAPITAL.
WHEAT STOCKS,
$40, $40, $50, $lOO.

Those desiring to make money on small au,,
medium Investments in grain, provisions ana
stock speculations, can do so by operating on
our plan. From May l. 1881, to the present
profits have been realized and paid to invest
nrs amounting TO several times the original
investment. still leaving the original invest
ment making money or payable ON demand.
explanatory circulars and statements OF fund
w sent free. We want responsible agents who
VIII report the crops and introduce the plan.
Address,
FLEMMNG & MERRIAM.
Commission Merchants, Major Block, Chi.
cage, LII, tu9.lyd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20

Harrisburg, Express west, Mt $40 p. m.. has
direct connections (withOut change Of cars) 70
COlumbia AMI York.
Fast Line, west, ON Sunday, when tagged,
Will StOpat nOwningtOwn COatesville, ParkoS.
burg, Mount Joy, ElizabethtOwn and Middle
town.
Day Express, Fast Line, News Express. Mail
Train, No. J, western Express and Pacific E1-
press run atailv.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
Economy.

AFFast. brilliant and fashionable are the
Diamond Dye colors. One package cOlOrs 10
4 lbs. of goods. 1Ocents tor any color.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20

THE REV. GEO. II. THAYHR, OF bourbon. Ind.
says "BOth myself and wife owe our lives to-
SHILOH's Consultation CURB. For sale at COch-
rams drug store. l37 North Queen street.
FOR DYSPEPSIA and Liver Complaint, Won
have q printed guarantee on every bottle of
ShilOh's Vitalizer. 1t never fails to cure For
sale at Cochran's drug store. l37 North Queen
street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
DIR. g. W. BENSON'S
New Remedy and FsyorIte Prescription.
SKIN CURE

Is Warranted to Cure
ECZEMA, LETTERS, HUMORs, INFLAM
MATION,.MILK CRUST, ALL ROUGH
sCALY ERUPTJONS. DISEASES OF
HAIR AND SCALP, SCROFULA
ULCERS. TENDER ITCHINGS
AND PlMPLES,
on all parts Of the body. 1t makes the skin
white, soft and smooth; removes tan anc
frecklcs and is the BEST toilet dressing IN THE
WORLD Elegantly put up. Two bottles in one
package, consisting of both internal and ex-
tcrnal treatment.
All first class druggists have IL. Price 81 per
package.
q. N. CRIITENTON, lis Fulton street, Now
York, is wholesale agents for DIR. T.. w. Ben
sons remedies.
scplG-lmd, M .W&S&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20

st." By asking too much We may lose the
little that we had before" Kidney Wort asks
nothing but fair trial. This given, 1t fears
no loss of faith I'm its virtues. A lady writes
afflicted with kidney complaints. Two pack.
ages of Kidney Wort have done me more good
than all the medicine and doctors 1 have
had before. believe It Is sure cure"
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20

ARE roU MADE miserable by Indigestion, Con.
stipaIiOn, Loss OF Appetite, Yellow Skin
ShilOh's VitaliZer is a positive cure. For sale
at C0chran's drug store, Isl North Queen
street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
Tho Country.

Who that has ever lived any time i'm the cOun.
try but must have heard OF the virtues of Bur-
tiers cure dyspepsia. biliousness and all .Iisor-
ders arising from impure blood or deranged
liver or kidneys. Price 81. For sale at H. B.
Lancaster.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20

1 had severe attacks OF gravel and kidney
doctor to cure me until used Hop Bitters,
and they cured me I'm a short time.-A Distin-
guished Larger in Wayne County. N: r.
Sl5-SWd&W
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
EDUCATIONAL,

CWARTaMORE COLLEGE,.
y RE-OPENING IN RESTORED BUILD
ING. Both sexes admitted. College and pre-
paratOry school under care of members OF
tne society OF f Friends. The main building,
completely rebuilt, enlarged, and fitted up
with all conveniences. Thorough instruction
In Lsnguages, Literature, Mathematics and
tanning Laboratories, Drafting Rooms, Ma
chine Shops. and all appliances for pursuing 9
and Civil Engineering. the next term opens
9th mo- (Sept) 25th Apply early. as, other
things being equal, places will be given to the
earliest applicants.
For full particulars address
EDWARD NJ. MAGILL, Pres't.
SwarthmOre College, Delaware Co., Pa.
june2l3lnd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-09-20
Gk.As c..S' stCSHA


1OlDA BlA = PORT DEPOSlT RAIL
~ ROAD TIME TABLE
Trains now run regularly on the Columbia
& Port Deposit Railroad ON the following
time:
The Wichita city eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1872-1883, 1882-08-17

SMITH & HEATING
Implement Company,
olesalea ndT Dealers II
Agricultural Implements, Wagons Buggles &c.
the season following and Machines
goods made Fnrst & Bradley Manufacturing Co.. such as
GARDEN CITY PL0WS, CULTIVAT0 ETC.
Moline Pillow ompanyS Pl0WS and CutlVat0E,
Including their celeb
WESTERN CJTIy ATORS PARIIN ATORS,
PRIZE CUITIVATOI.S,
~ HAWORTH WIRE CHECK ROWEts,
PLANTERS.
Rotary and ard
PLANTERS. EVANS CORN PLANTERS
RANDOLPH BUCKEYE REAIERS " MOWERS,
HARvESTER5 AND TWINE BINDERS,
DEERING'S EMPIRE MOWERS,
WOOD MOWERS SUIKY RAKES several STYLES;
RIJCKEYE GRAIN DRILLS Our Celebrated W AGONS
MASSll.LON AND swEEPsT AXES TlIIiESlIERS
ROSSOW WAGONS SMITH WAGONS.
large Assert o Spring Wagons, frst-ass.
BUGGIES G RRLAGES ATG FFI . hi@rO1Ts5,
of and power kept in stock
sareke
whose trade especially solicit
5o,f j VAN ZANDT, Manager.
The Wichita city eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1872-1883, 1882-08-17

B. LOMBARD, JR., JAS. L. LOMBARD,
President Vice Prest.
/. ID. SKINNER, GEO. f. SPALToS,.
Cashier. Asst Cash.
The Wichita city eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1872-1883, 1882-08-17
IF 1 X 5 t
Paid up Capital, S52,0O0.OO.
DIRECTORS (:

Up. ALLEN, J NJ. ALLEN,
GEO. +. SPALTON, II. c. DAY.
b. LOMBARD, Jr., JAS. l.. LOMBARD,
l.. ID. SKINNER.
The Wichita city eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1872-1883, 1882-08-17
PUBLIC SALE
Unclaimed Express Matter |!

The NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. articles of Express
Matter having remained in the possession of the
Adama Express Company six months,
the owners, shippers and consignees are hereby
notified that the same will be sold at Public
Auction for cash at the auction house of D. Il
Browa, In Wichita Kansas, August 3lst, lsS,,
unless called for at the Company's Office and
charges paid on or before that day. Sale 10
commence At 10 O'Clock.
b. 4. ZAHTNAN. Agent.
Il : IIkENBIII Special AGENT
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
The Woman Has the Best Of 1t.

In matters of controversy the woman usu-
ally has the best of it. A witty old author
advises men to avoid arguments with ladies,
because in spinning yarns among silks and
satins a man is sure to be worsted and twist
ed, and when man is worsted and twisted
he may consider himself wound up.
The above retort might be matched by a
dozen others culled from domestic controver-
sy, in which the woman has come off trium-
plant.
"Really, my DEAR" said a friend of ours to
his better half, "you have sadly disappointed
me. l once considered you jewel of wo-
man, but you've turned out only bit of
matrimonial paste"
"Then, my love-" was the reply, console
yourself with the idea that paste is very adj
hesive, and in this case will stick to you as
long as you live"
"See here" said fault.fnding husband,
1--WE must have things arranged in this house
so that we shall know where everything is
kept"
with all my heart" sweetly answered his
wife, land let us begin with your late hours
my love. should dearly love to know where
they are kept" He let things run on as
usual.
1t is not often, however, that one comes
across such a crushing retort as that which 9
Sheffield husband received from his wife the
other day, through the medium of the public
press. He advertised in one of the loca
journals, that he, Thomas A, would no Longer
be answerable for the debts incurred by hi:
wife, who seems to have been truly amiablt
creature, if one may judge from the advertise
ment which she published next day in reply
This is to notify that l, Elizabeth A, an
able to pay all my own debts, now that
| have got shut of Tommy"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
Nothing to Live For.

A negro planter came to Vicksburg the
other day, sold his cotton, put his money in
his pocket book and started down the river.
Leaning too far over the guards as the boat
backed out, he fell overheard. His portmon-
maize, which was in his side pocket, fell out
and rode with his hat on the surface of the
water, while the current carried the negro
away. The yawl was lowered and assistance
at once started toward the drowning man,
who perceiving his treasure floating off,
raised his voice and shouted:
"Save dat pocket-book ~
His head went under and he disappeared.
AS he rose up again he gasped:
Oars $118 in dat pocket-bookw
Scarcely had he uttered the words before
he sank second time.
The yawl came within reach just in time to
rescue The drowning African as he came to
the surface for the last time. As soon as the
water was wiped from his nose and mouth,
so that he could speak, he said:
"Did-did you save dat pocket-book ?"
mo-" was the respt nse.
"Well, den," said the negro, regretfully,
"what de debble was de use of savin' me ?"-
jacksonville Union.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
"Witness my Hand and Seal

A thousand years ago the masses, the no.
bility, the poor and the rich, were wholly I'M
acquainted with the mysteries of the alpha
bet and the pen. A. few men, known as
clerks, who generally belonged to the priest.
hood, monopolized them as a special class of
artists. They taught their business only to
their seminaries, apprentices and beyond
themselves and their few pupils, no one
knew how to read and write, nor was it ex-
pected Of the generality, any more than it
would be nowadays that everybody should
be shoemaker or a lawyer. Kings did not
even know how to sign their names, so that
when they wanted to subscribe to written
contract, law or treaty, which some clerk had
drawn up for them, they would smear their
right hand with ink, and slap it down upon
the parchment, saying, "witness my hand"
At later date, some genius devised the sub
stitute of seal, which was impressed instead
of the hand, but oftener beside the hand
Every gentleman had seal with peculiar
device thereon. Hence the sacramento
words now in use, "Witness my hand and
SEAL" affixed to modern deeds, serves at least
the purpose of reminding us Of the Middle
Ages.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
Caring for a Horse Harness.

The average harness in the rural districts
is poorly cared for, and short-lived. Not in
frequently it is hung in the horse stable ex-
posed to the ammonia generated from pile
of fermenting manures. The stable may be
furnished at odd spells with bedding or alb
sorbents of some kind, but these are not
promptly renewed, and there is great waste
of the most valuable constituents of manure.
The harness has the benefit of the ammonia,
and the effect is about the same as washing
it with lye The harness rots, cracks, and
without frequent oiling comes to grief at an
early date The safer way is to have place
for the harness in the carriage house, or some
building outside the stable. If the stable
alone is available, it should be kept free from
the smell of ammonia by the constant use of
absorbents, sawdust, sods, road dust, straw,
or refuse hay. A harness properly cared for
and kept clean and pliable will last twice as
long as one that is neglected. 1t is much
cheaper TO Spend ten cents for meats foot oil
once in three months, than fifty cents at the
harness maker's-American AgricuIt,aistt 70,
,JdnudTU
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29

The horseshoe was of old held to be of
special service rs security against the at
tacks of evil spirits. The virtue may have
been assigned, perhaps, by the rule of
contraries, from it being thing incompati-
BILE with the cloven foot of the evil one, or
from the ruye resemblance which the horse
shoe bears to the raps of glory, which in
ancient pictures are made to surround the
heads of saints and angels; or, finally from
some notion of its purity acquired through
passing the fire This latter supposition
receives some countenance from the method
resorted to tor the cure of horses that have
become vicious or afflicted by any distemper
that the village farriery did not understand
such disease was invariably attributed to
witchcraft, and the mode of cure seems to
imply the belief that the imperfect purifca.
ton by fire of the shoes which the animal
wore had afforded an inlet to malevolent in
fluence Accordingly the horse was led into
the smithy, the door closed and barred, the
shoes were taken off and placed in the fire
and the witch or warlock was speedily under
the necessity of removing the spell under
which the animal suffered Sailors are, fol
the most part, careful to have horseshoe
nailed to the mizzenmast or somewhere OF
deck near midships, for the protection of TIT
vessel The Chinese have their tombs bull
| in the shape of horseshoe, which custom il
very curious, as it may be regarded as
branch of the superstition long prevalen
among ourselves.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
VARIETIES.

What fruit does newly married couple
resemble? A green pear.
1T is sometimes great comfort to be left
left alone with your best girl.
The man who wears fleece-lned stock
ing is apt to feel down at the heel.
81 am broken man." said poet
"Well," said his friend, 81 inferred that from
your pieces"
1.-THE proper study of mankind is man."
Pope knew better than to say "woman."
Woman is TOO deep study for any to I'M
dertake.
How lady in this city accepted two hus-
bands on one wedding day.-She married
man for husband and Mr.. Husband for q
man.
Mistress to new cook-"On Wednesdays
and Saturdays shall go to market with you"
New cook-"Very well, mum, but who's
agoin' to carry the basket, mum?"
Just because man goes through the
rain without an umbrella it doesn't prove
that he is a philosopher. 1t only shows that
somebody has appropriated his water shed.
The meanest kind of a mean man is the
man who will, at this season, give to
tramp straw hat when he knows that If
that tramp wears it he'll get guyed to death.
-"Are those stars which we see at night
suns? ?" asked little boy of his father
Eyes, my boy" Are the shooting stars suns
too?" mo, the shooting stars are not suns;
they are darters."
-"What are you laughing at my dear ?"
asked Mrs. Jones of her husband, who was
chuckling over his newspaper. Something
struck here" he replied, butts hardly fun
ny enough for two.'
-"Pa, are you an agnostic?" asked young
New Haven miss at tea last evening. mo,
my dear, l am proud TO say am Republi.
can" "Well, that means the same thing, pa.
No Republican knows what he believes now
adays."
Captain Ito two soldiers practising with
their rifles)-"Come, let me have one of your
rifles. You shoot wretchedly." (He shoots
and misses). "There," he says, "thats the
to second soldier: "And that's the way you
shoot" (Shoot again and hits: Sand that's
the way l shoot"
OF the street decorations at the late
review the London World says: "The prize
for originality must be awarded to small
halter in the Kings road, who on triumph
al arch inscribed the words, Welcome to the
brave of old England while Immediately
beneath was the inspiriting command, up,
Guards, and hat en-
Gus De Smith called at very fashiona-
BILE house On Austin avenue few days, ago,
and acted so queerly that when that ladys
husband came home she said: "What is the
matter with young De Smith? He acted so
strangely / think there must be screw
loose about him somewhere" Reckon not.
| saw him this morning, and he was tight all
over"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
A Sharp Question to the Bishop.

When Bishop Whitaker was in Candelaria
New, he took stroll in the outskirts of the
camp with party of ladies and reverend gen.
tlemen. A man was seen laboriously turning
a windlass which hoisted from shaft a
bucket filled with rock. The only thing re-
markable about the man at the windlass was
his hat, the crown of which was cut clean of,
allowing the hot sun to pour down upon
perfectly bald head, some waggish friend
having recommended this arrangement as
sure to produce crop of hair. The bishop
and his party stood watching the man toiling
and grunting at his heavy labor for several
minutes, and the kind-hearted clergyman
spoke up with concern, and said:
"My friend, why don't you cover up your
head? This hot sun will affect your brain"
brain, is ?" cried the man as he gave the
windlass another heavily creaking revolution.
"Begob, an if l had any brains dye think
I'd be here pullin' up this buckets"
The bishop and his party hastily retired as
the gentleman at the windlass proceeded to
express, between tugs and in very strong
way, his opinion of men who had been born
like himself, without brains
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
2uetica1.
THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS.


Twas the night after Christmas, when all through
Every soul was a-bed, and as still as a mouse!
The stockings so lately st. Nicholas care,
The darlings had duly been tucked in their beds
With very full stomachs, and pains in their heads.
l was doing away in my new cotton cap,
And Nancy was rather far gone in nap,
WheE out in the nurs' ~ arose such Gattcr, ,
l sprang from my sleep, crying, what is the
flew to each bedside-still half in a doze-
To open the curtains and throw off the clothes,
While the light of the taper served clearly to
The pteous plight of those objects below;
For what te the fond fathers eyes should appear
But the ltsie pale face OF each sick little deart
For each pet that had crammed 1tself ful as
7 knew in a moment, now felt like Old Nick.
Their pulses were rapid, their breathing the same,
What their stomachs rejected Ill mention by
name
Now turkey, now stufIng, plum-pudding, of
And custards, and crullers, and cranberry-saucc,
Before outraged nature; all went to the wall,
Yes-lollypops, tlapdeodle, dinner and all
Like pellets which urchins from popguns let lily,
Went figs nuts and raisins. JAM jelly and pie,
Till each error of diet was brought to my view
To the shame of mamma and Santa Claus too.
turned from the sight, to my bedroom stepped
And brought out a phial marked "Pully, Ipecac,"
When my Nancy eXclaimed-for their sufferings
shocked her
Don't you think you had better, love, run for
the D0ctorr'
I am--and was scarcely back under my roof,
When heard the sharp clatterof Jalap's hoof;
might say that / hardly had turned myself
When the Doctor came into the room with a
He was covered with mud from his head to his
feet,
And the suit he had on was his very worst suit
He had hardly had time to put that on his back
And he looked like Falstah half fuddled with
His ewes. how they twinkled. Had the DIR. got
merry?
His cheeks looked like Port and his breath smelt
He hadn't been shaved for a fortnight or so,
And the beard on his chin wasn't white as the
snow. ,
But inspecting their tongues in spite of their
teeth,
And drawing his watch from his waistcoat be-
meath, 49, ,.,,, -,
He felt of each pulse; saying-"Each little belly
Must get rid"-here he laughed-"of the rest of
that jelly ,.,.,,c
I gazed on each chubby, plump, sick little elf,
And groaned when he said so, in spite OF myself
But a wink in his eye when he physcked our
Soon gave me to know had nothing to dread.
He didn't prescribe, but went straightway TO
And dosed all the rest, gave his trousers jerk,
And adding directions while blowing his nose,
He buttoned his coat; from his chair he arose,
Then jumped in his gig, gave old Jaap Whlstle
And Jalap jumped off as if pricked by thistle: :
But the Doctor exclaimed, ere he drove out of
sight, ,,,. ,
"They'l bt well by to-morow-good night, JONES'
good night
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
Historical Bells.

The famous old chime of bells belonging
to st. Michaels Church Of Charleston have
had an eventful and varied history. A hun
bred and fifteen years have gone by since
they were first hung in the belfry and their
music called to religious service the church
goers of colonial days. In ITO they were
seized and sent back to England, and at the
close of the Revolutionary war they were re.
turned to South Carolina ami restored to
their position. For eighty years they did
their duty, till in 1868 the Union forces be-
seiging Charleston sent their shells fly
ing around the steeple. The bells were
removed to Columbia for safety, and in the
great fire which devastated the town when
Sherman's soldiers occupied it they were
ruined by the heat: Once more they made
the voyage to England and were there recast
Six times they have crossed the ocean they
have twice suffered from the fortunes of war
and they are speaking to the ears OF the great
grand children of their first owners, In oul
Comparatively new country they are certain
w historic.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-12-29
The Lords Prayer.

Did you ever think, short though it is how
much there is in it? Oh, 1t is beautiful !!
Like diamond in the crown of queen, it
unites thousand sparkling gems in one
Our Farther
1t prompts us to raise our thoughts to and
desires above the earth-Who art in Heaven.
1t tells us that we must reverence our
Heavenly Father-Hallowed be Thy name.
1t breathes the saints reward-Thy king
dom come.
And submissive obedent spirit-Thy
will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
And dependent, trusting spirit-Give US
this day our daily bread.
And forgiving spirit-.Forgive us our tres
passes as we forgive those who trespass
against us.
And cautious spirit-Deliver us from
evil
And last of all, an adoring spirit-For
thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the
glory for ever and ever, Amen.