The Osceola times., 1882-04-22
The Proof-Reader.
Blunderbuss in the Saturday Review.


Papa, who is that sorrowful, sad look.
ing man we just metz"
''He is q proof-reader on a morning
newspaper, my SON."
"Well, | should think he would be
very happy, reading all the news and
pretty stories. Why does he look so
miseratlep'
There's where you're off, my son.
Happy, indeed He has cause TO look
miserable. III tell you. He is an asylum
for feeble minded people who imagine
that they were sent into the world TO en-
tighten it through the columns of the
newspapers. He is a kindergarten for
veay yong men and cranky old fellows
who think the newspaper world would
cease to exist should they fail to contri.
butte to its support from their storehouse
of general knowledge, brilliant ideas and
classic lore. He is also a hot house for
the propagation of young com positors.
He is expected TO know the name, na-
tivity, date of birth and death Of every
body, from constable to president,
and all the officials and dignitaries OF the
world, especially in Russia, Turkey China
and Japan-which he does not know by a
large ma j"rity. Some innocent people
arc under the impression that writers
prepare their manuscript correctly, as
the articles appear. Not so, my son. In
many cases, if an article should appear
as written, the anthor would refuse to
father it, and never make another effort.
But they must be encouraged, and 80
their productions are trimmed up in the
Office and made presentable.
hAr .,.t, IF -,
butors to the newspapers First, there
is the classical writer. He is always on
the lookout for obsolete and uncommon
words and phrases, never heard or seen
except in the most complete unabridged
dictionaries. When he has collected
number of such words, iye goes TO work
and writes an article around them--that
is, adapts the subject to the words. He
can't write half column article without
introducing the names Of lot of old
mummies, who were petritied thousand
years before the advent of the Saviour,
whether they be germane to the subject
or not. He provides himself with bio
graphical dictionaries, with the names,
professions and achievements of the old
fellows, all classified and arranged. and
then turns himself loose on them. If he
fails to spell them correctly in copying
them, it is all right, for he knows the
proof-reader is bound to look them up
and getthem right in the paper or loses
his JOB. lie MAJ write it Johannis
Schneider, but after good deal of worry
and guessing it is found TO mean Julius
Cesar.
Then there's the minister who sends
in mere skeleton of sermon, a page
OF which looks like the top of a tea box
covered with Chinese hyeroglyphics, all
disconnected, with Scripture and proper
names written in dots and dashes. and
the whole affair a complete enigma.
However, he knows it will be all right, |
and that the printers and proofread
will unravel it, no matter if they are fit |
subjects for the mad house before they
get through with it.
Then, there is the local reporter.
Well, he is good fellow, and means
well; he has troubles Of his own. But if
he spells mans name four different
ways in an item four inches long, he
knows the proofreader will drop svery-
thing. rush around, find a directory or
else, and fix it all right
before It goes into the paper. Also
ZONES the statistical Aend, with his
Asues oil presenting the same appear. !,