News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-05-25
A MATRIMONIAL PROBLEM.
A Young Man who Does Not Believe
in Marriage and His Simple Rea-


From the New York SUM-
When young fellow comes to us
asking advice about getting out of
promise of marriage simply because he
has begun to grow little cool in his
affections for his betrothed, he makes
confession of vacillat ton of which he
ought to be ashamed. He shows an
unsteadiness of purpose, an instability
of mind which bode i'll for him, and
which suggest unftness to bear the re-
sponsibility of a husband, or any other
responsibility. He displays lack of
the best elements of manly character,
of persistency, fidelity, self-reliance and
trustworthiness. Any girl is fortunate
in escaping MARI iage with fellow SO
fuctuating in purpose. The changea-
b1lity he confesses during the engage
ment will be likely to impair or destroy
her respect for him after she has be-
come his wife, and his character is re-
vealed to her more fully. We should
be doing her service, therefore, in
assisting to break up the engagement.
But we have no advice to give to such
fellows, not few Of whom, we are sorry
to say, write to us in the hope of getting
sympathy.
One of these changeable young men,
for instance, wants to know if he has a
good excuse for breaking his engage
ment because he has found out since
his betrothal that he does not care to
get married at all. He has come to the
conclusion, as his letter shows, that he
does not believe in matrimony:
81 am a young man, 25, and wish
some advice in a matter OF the heart,
having engaged myself to young lady
about one year ago, and by the time
another year rolls around expect to be-
come her husband. I find that during
this year of engagement that I have not
the love for her ought to have, and
that I am not eager, sometimes not
even willing, to please her-that ]
should prefer to remain always bach
elor. Should tell her this I feel, yes,
I know, it would ruin her happiness,
her life, so much does she think of me.
Therefore l have not the heart to tel
her. I am averse to seeing any one
suffer for me. 1 should almost rather
suffer myself all my life. Now, on my
honor, am bound, suppose, to unite
myself for life with this good and fail
one whom I cannot love, and perhaps
regret all my life ever married. Rath
er than do anything dishonorable,
should do this but it seems there must
be some way out. Am well aware tha
some men in my position would grad
ually withdraw themselves and quarrel
but I cannot, wish to be square ant
honest with her. Not to marry her
will break her heart to marry her
well, I ought not, feeling as Ido-woult
rather never marry"
What a sad case If he marries her
lifelong misery will be his. If he doel
not marry her, an early grave will b.
her fate. What does he expect Of us
then? Are we to assist in bringing
about her untimely demise, or are We
to condemn this unhappy young man t.
miserable existence?
But, in reality, he takes too gloomy
a view of the situation. Undoubtedly
if the girl is as fond of him as h,
imagines, she would suffer in mint
when she found out what a weak ant
silly fellow she had bestowed her affec
lions upon. But we are not afraid tina
she would die in consequence of the
revelation. She would get over it, anc
despise him Feelings of repugnance
would contract in her feelings of disap.
pointment and modification. And as
for him, whether he marries her or not,
he will get along, SO far as happiness il
concerned, about the same.
The case is not so bad as it seems
therefore. 1t is sad, however, that .
man of twenty-five should be capable O.
writing so silly letter as this one O
our correspondent. It is all nonsens,
about his not believing in matrimony
If he got out of his present engagement
the chances are ten to one that he would
be exchanging VOWS with some othel
girl within year. He is evidently {
tickle fellow, with much better opinion
of himself than his character warrants
A very just punishment for him, if ht
breaks his promise, would be to put hin
where he could not get chance to wiz
wife. Then his lifelong misery wouli
indeed begin. Do your best to conquer
your Stiffness and vanity, young man
That is all the advice we have for you