Connecticut western news., 1882-01-04
ADVERTISING RATES.
WIT AND WISDOM.

 cheap this winter" Not if you buy them of the train boy.
 A PRINTER who recently went to work in a Cincinnati lard factory says it is the fattest thing he ever struck.
 Ir may be right occasionally to take bull by the horns,, but it is always well to keep in mind that the horns belong to the bull. -.... " WHO steals my purse, steals trash But he that filches from me my good name, Robs me of that which not epriches him Unless it is backed by good endorser.
 IT always makes boy crazy with when he sees three oornered yellow dog running along the road, to go for g stone about the size of an egg, and discover it to be frozen In the ground so hard that it can't be ralsed by @ pickax backed up by prayer.
 APLUMBER went forth to plumb
 To kingly palace by the way,
 And when his half-days work was done
 Presented his bill without delay.
 The king brought forth his bags of golds
 His diamonds and his jeweled crown;
 The plumD0r CEeulU gave IoT tucui,
 And took mortgage on the throne.
 "Is THIS 8 good country for sheepp" asked traveller in Texas. EirAt- rate," said the settler, with great en- thusiasm: "every man. in the country owns four dogs. and whenever you miss a sheep you know where he is gone" The traveller decided to take a cattle- ranche and go in, for Texas steers.
 THE St. Louis Post Despatoh reports that railway trains now hurry through Newark. N. J., without stopping. Though nobody there has yet robbed train, there is no telling what the bank cashiers and city officials will turn their hands to in order to make money when the banks are all broken and the city funds gone.
 Is THIS Corner Lot2 No, it is, a Towel. It has Been serving an Appren- ticeship in Printing Otace for the Past four Years. The horses are Dragging it away. A man will Take .an Ak and Break the Towel into Pieces and Boil It for Soap Grease. Then he will sell the Towel for Tripe. If you Find Piece of Tripe with a Monogram imonsl Cor ner, you may Know it is the Towel.iG SAM JoHNsINa felt very much ag- grieved because an Austin justice fined him $5 for disturbing the peace. l"Mr. Johnsing, i" said the justice. "you can take an appeal you hayes legal rem edy." "I knows all about dem fenie- dies, sah dey am werry much like dem udder remedies you gets as de drug store. De more ob 'em. yer takes nde sicker yer gifts. sJ tssai 2 ts'sa
 1"I MUST say that I very much fiislikc) lthis ostentaiions furnishing" :" remarked the elderly Miss Pringle as she looked about her in the new stone home of the Spankingtons. "Now, look at that elaborately framed mirror. l declare I can see nothing beautiful in it." " You shouldn't expect impossibilities, Miss Pringle," remarked Fogg, the villain.
 HERE we have Papa's watch. There is Fairy in the Watch. Would you Like to Hear her Sing If you will Drop the Watch on the Floor, the Fairy in the Watch will Sing the Prettiest lit tie Song yon ever Heard and all the Wheels will Buzz just as Funny as can Be. When papa Comes home and finds the Fairy has been Singing, maybe he will Ask you to Step out into the Wood shed with him on Matter of Business.
 r EXTREME urTEnNEss. li He asked her, as onward they strolledl 5su | In a path that was rustic and devlous, , If she noticed the beauty of scene
 She replied: "It's pellucidly, utterly
 Irisatedly, astrally previous
 He asked her again, as they sat ,.t,,
 On the top of a lofty stone fence,
 How she liked the position of things;
 She answered [" It's peripateticallv,
 Iridescently, spectrally immense Y
 While sweetly like doves they did coo,
 He caught sight of her snug little shoe.
 She asked what he thought of It's miteness,
 And he said "It's consummately, awfully, Esthetically, stellularly too !" -.
 And they both lit out !]-Puck. i''.''
 SOBER SECOND THOUGHTS. BE patient, cherish hope, read more, } ponder less. Nature is more powerful than education; time will develop everything. Trust not overmuchdlto the blessed Magdalen; learn to protect
 yourself. elf.-Beaconsfetd.
 IN ART there is point of perfection, as of goodness or maturity in nature he who is able to perceive it, and who loves it, has perfect taste; he who aces not feel it, or loves on this side or that, .. has an imperfect taste.-Bruyere. WELL is it known that ambition car creep as we'll as soar. The pride of nc person in fourishing condition is more justly to be dreaded than that of hin ? who is mean and bringing under .. doubtful and unprosperous fortune. Burke. , . !, IF ITS colors were but fast colors self :. conceit would be 8 most comtortabl . quality. But life is so humbling, morti 7 flying, disappointing to vanity that , mans great idea of himself gets washed |, out of him by the tune he is forty s Charles Borton.
 FROM the genius of our governmen
 the pathway to honorable distinction
 lies open to all. No post of honor &
 high but the poorest boy may hope t reach it. It is the pride of every Amer V ican that many cherished names, a 7, whose mention our hearts beat with