The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-02-22
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

A COUNTER attraction--a pretty girl
clerk.
ALWAYS ready to take hand in con-
versation-deaf and dumb people.
THERE is no rest for the wigged 10
what q bald.headed man said when he
chased his false hair up the street in
gale.
You can always tell the fastidious man
! by his sending twenty-seven cuffs and
collars to the laundry, accompanied bya
single shirt Yonkers Gazette.
"THE truth always pays in the end"
is an old saying. and that is the reason
probably why there is 30 little Of it told
at the beginning Of any business trans
action.
A YOUNG lady bearing the aristocratic
cognomen Of Jardine recently deserted
her lover, because in an impassioned
sonnet, he made her name rhyme with
"sardine"
WELL" said cowboy, as he looked
at Sookey, when she had come through
a weedy stubble-feld "Well, old gal,
you amt got wings, exactly, but you are
buried Of passage, all the same"
POVERTY Is the mother OF rest. An
editor is proverty. Therefore an editor
is the mother of rest, but he never gets
very we'll acquainted with his offspring
on this terrestrial sphere. Hampton.
The gentleman who caught severe
cold from pressing his lips to maidens
snowy brow, recovered quite rapidly
while basking in the sunny smiles Of an
other fair damsel.--IOledo american
JOHN had . pop" Of thunder-tone,
He lent young Billy Smith It,
Tho "pop" went of, but not alone,
Smiths finger went on with It.
A NEW YORK lady who was travelling
in Ohio gave baby her gold watch to
play with, and the baby gulaed it down
and cried for more. What they can't
swallow in that State must be over foot
in width. Detroit Free Press.
YOUNG man, look not upon the church
sociable oyster stew when it is red
with pepper; because at the last it sting.
eth like an adder and biteth hole in
your pocket-book to considerable
amount. - JVilIiamsport Breakfast
Table.
SAID the sailor to his sweetheart: II
know that ladies care little about nauti.
cal matters, but il you had your choice
Of ship, what kind Of one would you
preferp" She cast down her eyes,
blushed and whispered: "A little
smack"
TIE latest marvel Of science is instan-
taneous photography. By the aid of this
process it is possible to obtain ricture
Of yourself and girl in the act Of being
thrown over a stone vall by a runaway
horse. This picture can be placed on
the mantlepiece in n maroon velvet
frame Us warning to young men to
never let 60 the reins with both hands,
Me,O Haven Register.
SHE wanted to test his affection, so,
picking up the revolver and putting her
eye to the muzzle, she said, innocently,
~ wonder il it's loaded" "Oh, don't"
he exclaimed, with manifest agitation.
It satisfied her that he loved her and
she asked, indifferently "Why not ?"
Because" he answered, "I've got
house rent to pay next month and q
funeral would embarrass me. "-BrOoklyn
Eagle.
"A NEW boarder at the Occidental gazed
at his plate, the other morning, and then
SAID: "Is there reliable physician
stopping in this housep' "Yes, sir, "
said the water. Good surgeons, too,
eh?" "Believe So sir" "Then Just see
If he Is in his room before start in on
this breakfast had brother choked
/ to death on steak like that once, and ]
| am bound to take all the necessary pre-.
, cautions. San Francisco Post.