Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-02-26
PLEASANTRIES.

Something important about oysters: The
shells.
How to procure telling effect: Communi-
cate a secret to a woman.
Lets Illustrate it, hiccoughed political
orator. "It's beautiful. You see, an old
farmer comes to town loaded with new wheat,
an he goes home loaded with old rye"
An Austin servant announced to the lady
of the house that there was dumb man at
the door. "Are you sure he is dumb?'
That's what he Gays, and l don't suppose
he would say go II it wasn't true. "-IezGs
Sittings.
Have you roosiers with double heads
down your way" was asked Of Southern
negro who had been Boosting of the remark
able productions OF "hia country" "Oh,
yes, habs UNI, but day are berry rsr,
berry rar."
Mary Swain had her spine twisted" in a
crowded car of the Continental Passenger
railway, at Philadelphia, and q court
awarded her 81, 900 damages. This is prob
ably the largest back pay ever drawn by a
woman.-L0uisriHe Courier-JouTnai.
At the Police Court the prisoner refuses
obstinately to answer any Of the questions
put 10 him by tie presiding magistrate. Be
ware, prisoner" says the magistrate, "for
your bearing toward the tribunal cannot fail
TO affect it when it comes to pass sentence"
Your pardon, worthy sir," replies the pfis-
oner in broken tones, "but the humiliation OF
my position overpo@ers me. This is the very
6rst time, s'hep me, that l ever was brought
up at any court less important than the
Quarter Session.
Another story Of child and candy: Miss
Edith, having been very good, her dear, kind
mamma takes her out for a walk, promising
TO buy her something. "Oh, mamma" cries
H.. LT1-v k.Tnr ~
there are some such pretty oDes there" 20
no, Edith, nv dear, flowers would be all
faded By the time We got home" "Say,
mamms," remarks the dOcile child, as they
pass a couisciioner's store, would ten cents
worth Of gumdrops be all faded by the time
We got home?" Mamma surrenders at in
discretion-Frov the French
ooh, pa" cried Mary, @c.nuoi we 60
To Washington to see Gee-toez''
tsOf course chfred ma. and take me too:
want to see them hang Geettu."
i would =" Aunt Kate said, .'cau IL law
To chop IN pieces that Git-tsw."
spoke Brother John, That dead-beat, oh!
You ladies should not see Geet-tow."
Tut tut" said pa, you must quit oh!
This talk about that man Git-to-"
"Au summer long I've been lit, oh!
BY wort Of plagues-this muss-Guiteau."
See the critic. He is tired. He has closed
his eyes. His chin touches his breast. He
murmurs through his nose. He will say
that that the violins were a at, and the con-
ductor was out Of tune, tomorrow. This il
a violinist. He has long hair. Why does
he squirm so? Ii he sick? o no! Hi
hearers are sick. This Is a prnta donna
She Is in a dress made by Worth. This i.
about all the worth she has; she cannot sing
but she kisses in 6 minor. She is psrform
ing hymn; some notes are 30 soft that yoI
cannot hear them. These are her best notes
This is pianist. Why does he look 8,
queer? He is in love. With whom? Will
himself He will never have any rivals
This Ia an advance agent. he is speaking
| with an editor. he Is telling him that now
al last, he will hear some music. The edito
smiles, aud seems very happy. What goo,
| man the advance agent must be!-TR
Score's Musical Primer.