The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-05-12
HUMoRs OF THE DAY.

CANT coffin shop properly be called
bier saloon?
By CONTRACTING disease you help TO
spread it. Queer, isn't it?
l CAN'T account for it !" exclaimed
the defaulting bank cashier. PhiladeI-
17hia Item.
SMOKING and chewing are two evils,
and ye who select the former chews the
less.- Cosrier-Journ0k.
Foee says he never finishes cigar but
he thinks, Another temptation removed
from the young men of America.
LII Is bad luck for thirteen persons to
SIT down together at a table, especially
If there is only dinner enough for ten.
The cat is the great American ,orinsa
donna. If bootjacks were Bouquets,
her nine lives would be strewn with
roses.
AND phat wud ye want sich man as
Pathrich for?" said Mrs. McGlone "Ye
nlyer cud thrust him out yer sight, onliss
ye was wild him"
WHAT is called respectability is q great
help to many men. Once they have at
tanned 1t, they can put IN a lie where it
VIII 40 the most good.
AN Indian chief in Washington went
to see the Ideal Opera Company. When
Nj. w. Whitney gave particularly low
note the chief said: "Ughl him heap
dug out
REST is said to be the solution of many
puzzling perplexities. If that's SO, we'd
like to solute puzzling perplexity about
three hundred and sixty live TIMES
syear.-C Cottrior~JouTnal
AN IRISH gentleman, hearing of
friend having stone coffin made for
himself, exclaimed: "Be me sowl. an
that's a good ideal Shure, an stone
coffin 'ud last man his lifetime"
A PENNSYLVANIA boy recently swal-
lowed horseshoe nail without expert
encing any i'll effects. If it had lodged
in his throat it would have made him q
little horse sure.-NorriStoaOn Herald.
"Is THIS the front of the CapitolP"
asked newly-arrived stranger of an
In front am de rear. Eff yer wants ter
see the front yer must 90 around dar
behind on de udder side. '-Ie1as .Sfft-
t,1gs.
" Ny son" asked q clerical parent of
his hungry boy who was just in the
starvation period, 81 wish you would
make a study of Watts on the Mind"
% will, pa, was the quick answer, ''as
soon as L have studied what's on the
CALCULATED to fill it: "I tell you,"
continued Pingrey. Brown isn't tit for
the place. In fact, l don't know of a
place that he is calculated to fill"
@ Don't be intemperate in your remarks,
Pingrey," " said Fogg; "you forget his
"YEs," said the injured party to the
owner Of the dog, Il know the dog was
only in play when he bit about half a
pound of flesh out of me. Certainly he
was only in play And 1 was only in
play when took an ak and made hash
Of him. Only in play. sir. Nothing to
get mad about -
''TELL your mother I'm coming to see
her" said a lady to Mrs. Gibson Bige-
ove's little boy, who replied: "Pm
glad you are coming. Mamma will be
glad, too" "How do you know your
mother will be glad to see me?" asked
5he lady. "Because l heard her tell
papa, yesterday, that nobody ever came
20 the honse except men with bills to
collect. "-Austin Siftings.
Hrs exit: There had been a seeming
,oolness between the lovers. One day
Emily's schoolmate ventured to refer to
he subject and asked her: When did
Tou see Charlie last?" "Two weeks
lRp to,,night. . What was ne doing?'
=, y1nR 70 get over the feneasli = 80 1sss3-
= ppesr 70 be much aoS tnag IL toeLsz
'reatly. !, ~ 1rned E,zs,;l.sknew bulldog
) hold. him.