The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1882-08-12
An Agreeable Storekeeper.


Old Jim Doolittle used to keep a store
in Cottonwood. Neb., but he is now out
of the business. He was very peculiar
salesman. II customer didn't buy
everything he looked at Doolittle re-
garded him as an open enemy. He
took very little stock in the motto: mo
trouble to show the goods" In conse-
quence of his peculiar method of trans
acting business Doolittle's trade dwin-
died until he was able to enjoy all of
that solitude for which his nature seemed
to yearn.
One day lady strsyed into Doolittle's
store and timidly asked the poor boon
of looking at some cheap calicos, Doc
little chung heroically to his nail key,
and kept right on whiting. ao .el,
a''Yer want to look at some prints, do
yerPn he snarled. rrif 'o =
"If you please" replied the lady.
"Well, now, eff yer air going to buy
some, I'll show 'em down; eff yer amt
don't propose to unlimber the goods
and muss up the counter"
The lady fed.
A man from the North Loup stumbled
on to Doolittles store and went in to
buy pair of boots, The stock of mems
foot wear was not very extensively sort
ed up, and every pair the Loup Fork
man tried were too small for him The
last pair of split leather kips were
mournfully laid aside, and with b sickly
smile he said he guessed he had better
go somewhere else.
"Then you don't want no boots ter
day." snapped Doolittle.
4" Yes, I've got to have sum butes,
pardner, but it seems these air are all
too small enough"
"Y Yer don't act like man as wanted
any boots" said Doolittle, glaring at
him like wounded hen-hawk.
They're too small, pardner."
"Don't you call me pardner, you old
lantern jawed snoozer. Yer one of
these finnicky chaps as can't be suited
nowheres, that's what yer air. What
do yer have such cussed big feet for,
anyways"
IL guess I'd better be a-going," said
the Loup Fork man, pulling on his old
pair of moccasins and starting for the
door.
eyer had that, yer splay-footed old
mud-dobbler. Here, hadn't you better
come back and try on the case! Mebbe
it II fit one of your hog-fat feet"
Something like crowd gathered in
front of Doolittle's store Immediately
after this colloquy. There seemed to
be a kind of theatrical entertainment
going on inside. Anon the Loup Fork
man would swing something over his
head few times, and then he would
fetch the floor thwack with it which
made all the alabaster crockery and
nutmeg graters rattle off the shelves.
The floor was strewn with canned
peaches, cove oysters homeless goldfish
and pants buttons. The dust was so
thick that the excited audience couldt
see exactly what was TRANSPORTING with
in, but from certain ejaculatory sem
fences overheard it was surmised that
some one was trying to sell Doolittle a
bill Of goods on thirty days time, five
per cent. off for cash. But as he shot
out into the heart of the crowd, and lay'
there in a kind of soft, Ipulpy condition.
his face highly ornamented with dis
played ads. and cuts, and a half pint OF
teeth scattered around him, the assem-
bled multitude reyerentlyT made way
for, a tall stranger who issued from the
store minus a hat, with a flushed face
and long rent down the back of his,
oat.-Denrer Republicans, u a.. .., ..yy
..- ~