The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-01-21

upon family quarrel and therefore coughed
loudly to call attention to my presence. There
was a sudden cessation of the noise, and pres
emily mans voice called out, qaeruously;
"Comc in, whoever you are!'
This was not encouraging; but | entered,
and to my dismay found | was in bedroom.
A middle aged man, with very red face lay
on the bed half dressed, and shaking violently
all over The furniture of the room looked as
If somebody had been dancing upon 1t, and
the pillows were lying about the floor The
man glared savagely at me moment, ana
then, shouting, "Oh, here are some more OF
youw he hurled the bolster with all his force
a, my head lodged it. "WhO the dickens
are you?" yelled the man.
| underworld 10 explain, but before mao
got half dozen words out my friend, VINO
saw was suffering from an alta TX OF deIirlum
tremcns, was out of bed, and making sudden
spring, pinned me by the throat before coulu
stir finger 10 prevent hun. WAS nearly
choked, but struggled desperately, and at last
by a supcrhuman effort, succeeded in freeing
myself.
Seeing an open door, dashed through it,
and found myself in u small dressing room,
with no other cufess than the window. lIasu-
" throwing it open, | sprang on to The sill,
and grasping the IRON pipe which ran ny us
side, | descended into the darkness beneath,
and came down with splash into the middle
of huge walerbutt Happily it had not
much in it; but | could feel the cold tuld
trickling INTO my thin shoes. There was a
wall by, the top of which | could just reach
by standing on the edge OF the water.but,
scrambled up without much difficulty, ana
dropped down, gently on the other siue-lhto
the arms Of policeman.
"Now there's no use your kicking this
worthy remarked, as he pinned me roughly
by the collar and cuff; az you don't come
along quietly, III whip the darbies on ter yer
in u jltiy.'
In vain cxpostuated, and, all br.alhless As
was, tried to tell him all about IT, lie only
warned me that whatever | said would be
used agn me- and taking firm grip, he
marched me off, despite my struggles
At the station | attempted TO give connect
ed narrative Of myself but do not think the
police paid much attention to IT, The cnnsta-
BILE who had effected my capture swore that he
had had his eye on me for long time, and
knew me to be Il notorious CrackSman, lie
also accused me of being drunk and disorder
ly. | think | was more indignant about the
accusation of drunkenness than Tie more serl-
Gus one. | could, of course prove that WAS
not burglar, but it is another thing To con
vince an OpInlOnated policeman that man Is
not drunk. therefore insisted on the dlvls-
ional surgeon being sent for to say whether l
was sober or not, and rather to nay surprise,
the Inspector consented. In the meantime
was thrust into cell to await the arrival OF
the medical officer.
In a quarter of an hour or so that gentle
man made his appearance. To him recount
ed my history, and as it proceeded, his lace,
which at first had been somewhat grave, eX'
banded into broad smile, and at last he sat
down on one of the benches, and sIapplng his
thighs, fairly burst into roars OF laughter. |
ielt rather hurt, and think | told HIM so. AT
this he exploded into fresh roGrs and at length
managed to gasp out
"D-d-don't you see the joke-ho! ho!oh,
dear! ha! hal Why, man alive, | am Mr..
Pwllhyll Jones, and we had been waiting DIM
per for you quarter of an hour when was
sent for to examine an alleged drunkard--ho!
no! ha! hal"
OF course, after this, was immediately set
at liberty, and accompanied my newfound
friend to his comfortable house on Campden
Hill, where after repairing, with my hosts
as Tar rs possible the damage my
wardrobe had sustained, | was taken by HIM
into the drawing room and presented to his
daughter, whom found "all my aunt's fan
cy painted her" and more My host beng
little man and fat, while am long and slim,
my appearance in me OF his garments must,
| feel have been rather absurd but when once
Miss Jones understood the situation, her sweet
with thesutferIngs had undergone
more than compensated me for the gatherings
of her papa, who however, turned out to be a
very good fellow indeed, and some time after
ward (as my aunt predcted) was OF much
service to me. Indeed, it was he who helped
me to buy the very comfortable practice which
| now enjoy in my native town of Blggwsberis.
| need not say thoroughly enjoyed my dinner
at last, and was really not much spoiled after
all by the unavoidable delay. In fact | shall
always look back with peculiar pleasure to
the first little dinner had "chez Jones"
p. S.-Mrs. Rees, who has just read this,
says that if had seen her after | lett that
evening, screaming, while her papa roared, at
my adventures and appearance, | would not
lay so much stress on her sweet sympathy"
But no mattcr.--Harper's Weekly.