Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-08-17
MY BREAKFAST.
From the January Patriot.

From the January Patriot.
Its perfectly useless, my DEAR" I
said as sweetly as possible, then added
magnanimously, for wanted to temper
justice with mercy, "but then you are
young"
did not receive the answer consid-
cred due me; instead, my wife preserved
most perfect silence.
Are you nearly ready?" asked Kit
zie, sweetly.
never did see such irreproachable
good nature as Kitzie's. "Hat and
gloves" responded, provoked at my
want OF success as q domestic lecturer,
and trying my level best not to see how
pretty she looked twisting fleecy, white
arrangement, caught with lilac bows,
all around her dainty head, and looking
demurely out at me with her pansy.
shaded eyes.
You've not been listening to what l
said Kitzie," I said with much severity,
and bursting a button off my glove. 81
was decidedly in earnest"
MY dear boy" she said solemnly, 81
heard every word, and in consequence
thereof am thoroughly convinced that l
am failure, and great worry to you.
I've tried my best, but can't cook like
your mother. I'm sorry; just as sorry
as l can be; but you shall have one
breakfast precisely on time, and just ex-
actly like your mothers. You shall
cook it yourself tomorrow morning"
Now was staggered. I pulled off
another button, and wished I could
pull out my tongue as esily. I cook!
and cook the whole breakfast at that!
Shades of Cicero! But Kitzie was evil
IDENTITY waiting for an answer, and ST.
lence would convict me, so 1 SAID, with
pompous Indifferent ce. every well, my
dear, are We quite ready now?"
Bless my soul, what an evening that
was! danced and ate, and laughed and
talked with the regulation party goer,
but was haunted with the nightmare
OF cooking stove and new girl. At the
supper table ae some of everything,
whether liked it or not, and thought
anxiously all the while to myself: 'I
wonder how they made this, and if had
better have it for breakfast With dis
tracing clearness / recalled to my mind
each criticism which 1 had made on Kit
zie's breakfast, and remembered that
each had been accompanied by boast
that could do better; so of course she
would expect to find every fault correct
ed and every item exact. glanced up
at her as she sat opposite to me with a
mortally ugly man, and SO perfectly love-
ly was the arch sweetness Of her face,
with its precious, tender little mouth, the
laughing, pansied eyes and the dear little
nose, that quite forgot my worry for
an instant in exulting proudly over the
fact that she was mine, all mine. These
pleasing reflections were cut short, how
ever. The lady at my left, evidently
thinking the silence between us should
be broken, seized upon an unlucky SUBJ
ject and remarked sweetly:
Aren't these biscuits delicious, Mr..
Treherne?"
Very" I responded, swallowed in
quick recollections.
Mrs. Lewis, do you suppose they
were made with cream of tartar. tartaric
soda Orwell, the other thing?" l STAN
mered, confusedly, and dropped nv
eyes before the amazement in hers.
AN three, 1 guess" she answered
with utmost gravity, though there was
twinkle In her eyes, for she evidently
considered me in fun, when was near
ly distracted with seriousness.
mentally resolved to have biscuits
for breakfast, and with that in view be-
gan to dissect mine to discover, if posi-
bile, the other necessary ingredient; but
deriving very little satisfaction from the
operation, l slipped a piece into my
pocket, to use as guide on the dreaded
tomorrow morning.
The fuss and fume ended. and Kitzie
and | went home. She was full of frolic,
and make several CHASTITY attempts to
be IN an answering mood; but l couldn't,
and to this day | regard woman as
marvel. How can she laugh and be gay,
with three hundred and sixty-fve break
fasts, not to speak of dinners and sup
pers, to look after2
Pm positive that it was midnight when
Kitzie awoke me with the remark:
Roger, it is time to get up. 1 heard
Patric down stairs quite while ago, and
she doesn't know anything to do until
you 60 down and start her"
and had crept into my dressing gown
and slippers before 1 recollected that
Kitzie always went down fresh and
sweet, all ready for breakfast. I turned
round and faced my dismal reflection in
the glass, and mechanically picked up
my necktie. 1t was of delicate lilac,
very good for party, but hardly suit
able for now; so threw it aside and be-
gan to rummage for my black one, which
proved to be .obstinately modest, so I
decided that breakfast without neckiie
wasn't bad, and perhaps ! should have
time to run up again. l didn't think, as
went down, what should have said if
kitzie was to come to breakfast without
one of her dainties on it was best for
me that reflected as little as
possible on what I ever had said
or would say again. AS it was, STUN
bled along through the semi-darkness of
hall and rooms, and opened the kitchen
door to be greeted with cheerful pros
pect. The yawning stove hearth was
graced with ashes, as was the floor
around; the cat was placidly licking out
of the bowl of fresh milk standing on
the bench, while Patric, with a huge
scarlet bow in her frizzled hair, was bal
ancing out of the window flirting with
the milkman. ] stood aghast for two
whole minutes, and wondered how I
mad best address the strange queen of
my culinary realm. / concluded not to
address her at all, but to rattle the door
knob ominously.
BLESS my SOUL" she cried with star
tled Jump, sure an L thought 1t was
the mistress herself, an what do you
want anyhow"
81 want the cat taken ont of the milk"
l said, regainlng my self-possession in
anger at her impertinence. "What are
You idling. out of the window for? Shut
sand build the fire Immediately"
"Shure now" she cried loudly, with
arms akimbo and face defiant, 'tan'
who's the like of yourself, to be bossing
me? II yes wants the fire built, yes
cam build it."
"Patric," said I with great dignity, ct
want no such airs. am your master,
and want the fire built"
my master" she cried shrilly. "In-
dade an we'll see. hired myself to
swate, purity, leddy-an' it's not by the
likes of yes I'll be bossed," and before
my wrathful gaze she founced out of
sight and / stood alone. As a first move
was q failure, in the celebration of
which stamped across the kitchen, and
threw the cat out of the window, then
sent the milr f1vinO after her ond con,