Morning journal and courier., 1882-10-07
COMETS.

A list of books suggested for a public li- brary was lately submitted to an 'anti clerlcap' censor, who promptly struck out Robinson Crusoe" as having too religious a tendency. Spectator.
 'Wheres the molasses, Bill ?''said woman sharply to her son, who had returned with an empty jug. ''None in the city, mother. Every grocer has big black board outside, with the letters chalksd on it, IN. o. mo- lasses. y
 What this country wants is reply postal cards, and to save trouble the reply might as we'll be printed on them in advance by the government The words 'Very sorry. but can't pay your bill this week: some other week. would about hit most cases,-IhiI0 dezp1ia Neecs.
 Mrs. Alive had beautiful sermon this morning, didn't we?" Mrs. B.-"Beautiful, and did you notice Mrs. Smithson's bonnet?" Mrs. A.-"Notice it? We'll, I should say I did. I couldn't keep my mind off it the whole service" Mrs. B.-''Nor I, neither" Boston Transcript.
 ''So you saw my poor husband when he died ?' said woman to 8 man who had just returned from Colorado. ''Yes, madam, I was with him. gave him drink of water ?" stYes. Then he was not my husband. Poor George never took water. You make mis- take in the man, sir."-Arhans0s 1raUe1er.
 "Pa." said the inquisitive small boy, "what do they mean by unanimous ?" Unanimous my son, unanimous-ah-why, when ali the men want the same thing, that's unanimously" ''Politicians is all unanimous, ain't they pa?" ''No, my son; not by jugfull D ''Well, don't see why, 'cause they all wants a office, anyhow. .'-Ieras Oddities.
 Two farmers living near Creedmoor met and engaged in a lengthy conversation upon the subject of the crops. AS they were about parting one of them said: 'I noticed that you had all your cattle corralled behind the barn last Tuesday ?" ''Ah, yes," returned the other, ''I heard that the American rife team were going to practice" Brooklyn Eagle.
 California physician, who discovered a now disease-love madness-has been exper- imenting with the persons afflicted herewith and has produced the s'love parasitic" or bacillus microccus. This he cultivated up to the twentieth generation, and with the para rsites of that generation he inoculsted num- Der of subjects. The inoculation was invari- ably successful, symptoms of the disease appearing in a very short time after the operation. A bachelor, aged fifty, on the first day after inoculation had his whiskers dyed, ordered suit of new clothes and set of false teeth, bought top buggy. bottle of hair restorer, a diamond ring and a guitar, and began reading Byron's poems The in oculation produced symptoms of the same nature in young lady of forty five. She spent five dollars at a drug store for cos metics, bought lot of new hair and a cro- quet set, sang Empty is the Cradle" sent out invitations for a party, and compla; ned that the Chico young men do not go into so- ciety. An inoculated youth of seventeen, employed in a country store, did up gallon l of molasses in paper bag, and also, in fiji of absent mindedness, put the cat in the but ter tub and threw some fresh butter out o1 the window. Finally, he sat in basket oi eggs while looking at the photograph of 6 pretty girl, and was discharged for his care lessness. The Chico doctor is still experi menting, and will soon lay the results of his observations before the medical world.-S01 F310c5scp POst