Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-07-22
HAwKEYE DOTS.

JUDGE ToURGEE says ga journal is
only what the man behind makes it.
'Taint that way with a wheelbarrow
anyhow.
The sorghum sugar manufactured by
the government cost S25 pound. Put
that on your beefsteak and eat it if you
want to die rich.
"WHAT becomes of all the old box
cars?" the visitor asked the master
machinist. ''Oh we put handles on 'em
and sell them for ratoga trunks, the
truthful NJ. NJ. made reply.
ANXIOUS mama: "Come now, Rollo,
you have played too hard; sit down
here 10y mama and rest yourself"
Rollo, after forty eight seconds of sit
ting: "Me must go play some more,
now; mes tired resting"
ADVICE TO YOUNG MAN.
My son, when You hear a man growl-
ing and scolding because Moody gets
5000 week for preaching Christianity,
you will perceive that he never worries
a minute because Ingersoll gets 5000 a
night for preaching atheism. You will
observe, that the man who Is unuttera-
bly, shocked because Francis Murphy is
paid $50 a week for temperance work,
seems to think it is all right when his
barkeeper takes in twice so much money
in single day. The laborer is worthy
of his hire, my boy, and he is just as
worthy of it in the pulpit as he is upon
the stump. Is the man who is honestly
trying to save your immortal soul worth
less than the man who is only trying his
level best to go to Congress !? Isn't
soil? Isu't John B. Cough as much
the friend of humanity and society as
| the bartender ? Do you want to get all
the good in the world for nothing, so
that you may be able to pay high price
/ for the bad? Remember, my boy, the
good things in the world are always the
cheapest. Spring water costs less than
corn whisky box of cigars will buy
two or three Bibles a gallon of old
brandy costs more than a barrel of flour;
'full hand" at poker often costs man
more in twenty minutes than his church
subscription amounts to IN three years !;
| State election costs more than revival
of religion you can sleep in church
every Sunday morning for nothing, if
you're mean enough to dead-beat your
lodging in that way, but nap in Pull
man car costs you two dollars every
time; fifty cents for the circus and
penny for the little ones to put into the
missionary box one dollar for the thea
tre and a pair of old trousers, frayed at
the ends, baggy as to the knees, and
utterly bursted as TO the dome, for the
Michigan sufferers, the dancing lady
who tries to wear the skirt of her dress
under her arms and the waist around
her knees and kicks her slippers clear
over the orchestra chairs every night
gets 5000 week and the city missionary
gets $500 year the horse race scoops
in 1000 the first day and the church
fair lasts week, works twenty-five ol
thirty of the best women in Americs
nearly to death, and comes out $40 IN
debt-why, my boy, if Won ever FIND
yourself sneering or scoffing because
once in while you hear OF a preachel
getting living, or even luxurious
salary, or a temperance worker making
i money. 90 out in the dark and fee
} ashamed Of yourself, and if you don
/ feel above kicking a mean man, kicl
! Yourself. Precious little does religion
t and charity cost the old world, my boy
+ and when the money it does get is fun
, into its face, like bone to dog, tn
5 donor is not benefited by the gift, an
t the receiver is not. and certainly shoul
3 not be grateful. 1t is insulted.