The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1882-04-07
mUMORs OF THE DAY.

A HALF loaf is better than q whole
loafer.
NEVER too late to mend--A torn ten
dollar note.
A REAL estate transfer moving a cart
load of dirt.
A LOVER has all the qualities hus-
band has not
A FOOL and an ACCORDION are both
easily drawn out.
WHAT is sauce for the turkey is cram
berry for the dinner guests.
MAN wants but little here below, and
that's just about what he gets.
BANK cashiers are generally smart fell
lows, but they are frequently Aighty.
OFA1Lshares, plow shares are tho most
reliable. They always turn out some-
thing.
THERE are people who will buy any
thing on sight if they can be allowed to
pay for il on time. e.-Ne,o Orleans Plea
yane.
"ITs scold day when / get left, " zan-
tippe remarked when Socrates went off
to the circus without her. --Burtington
HdWkeye.
A DERBY doctor killed fox, and the
Derby Transcript sardonieally remarks:
"The doctor means business when he
gets after em.
"MY daughter" exclaimed fashion-
able mother, "is innocence itself. You
can't say anything in her presence that
will make her blush"
SOLOMON is snid to have had some nino
hundred wives of all sorts. What 1t
mast have cost him for fries in boxes
when he stayed out late.
HENS scratch up flower beds only when
they are barefooted. That's why women
run out and 'shoo" the hens 10 keep
them from doing damage.
HAIL to tho thief who In triumph advances,
Tho more he steals the more renown,
The bigger his pile the more he Frances,
And cash keeps him up, while Others go down.
Hampton.
IF some religious people we know
would prey on their neighbors less and
their knees more, the world would be
better of. baltimore Eveyy Saturday.
"MAhuE," said he, and his voice was
singularly low, twill you be my wife
Win you cling to mo as the tender vine
clings to the" eyes, catch on,
said she.
A New YoBK tourist who ate an nlIi-
gator for q beefsteak in Florida didn't
get the taste out Of his mouth until he
had eaten half peck Of onions and four
dozen herrings.
A PREACHER who had turned specu-
lator and bought lot Of hogs on ris.
ing market, telegraphed his agent
Hold the pork, for am coming. p
SteubengilLe Herald
SHAKESPEARE asks, "What's in
name2" Well, il is good thing, some-
times. Not necessarily for publica-
ton, but merely rs n guarantee of good
faith. detroit free Press.
81 call that very rare, said Jones to
aworllman who had done some work for
him. "Ah?" answered the workman,
highly tickled +" Yes, went on Jones,
"rare, very rare-not half DONE" That
cooked the workman, and he retired. ~
SteubenUitic Herdtd.
A FASHIONABLE lady witness tainted
dead away while giving her testimony,
and the doctor who was SUMMONED said
it resulted from her corset being too
tight. The incident was very properly
entered upon the minutes of the case as
80 stay in the proceedings"
PROMINENT citizen, whose idiosyn-
Grassy is that Of becoming intoxicated and
going to bed with his clothes on, was
surprised with the following the other
morning, from his wife "You we're not
as drunk as usual last night, Henry,
dear, were you?" "Well, l don't
know, said he "what makes you think
SOP "Why," she replied, II see you
took your oyershoes off before you went
~ had y