davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1882-10-19

We prefer to aScrlDe his errors To Jne laLter
cause, for we are not willing to believe that
he would deliberately make statements and
quote authority with the knowledge that the
authority quoted directly antagonized the
statements made. But is there excuse for ig-
norance in man occupying the position that
Mr.. Tucker does He assumes not only to be
well posted on all tariff matters, and to speak
from the record, but is regarded as the special
champion of free trade ideas, and to his state
ments are attached more than ordinary lmpor-
lance. He had the opportunity to inform him
self, for the letter of Mr.. Swank above referred
to was read before the body of which Mr.. L. is
a member. If he was not present he ought to
have been. But suppose there was good
reason for his absence on that particular day,
the Congressional Record was open TO his in
spection, and the facts as we have stated them
were there set forth. He had ample time be-
tween May and October to correct the erro-
neous impression created by Senator Beck's
blunder Instead of that he repeats the ex
ploded arguments of his colleague and under
takes to make the farmers of Augusta believe
that they are ground down by a monopoly
which realizes an annual profit of 81 per cent
on the amount of it's invested capital, when it
scarcely realizes one-fifth of that amount
The trouble with Mr.. Tucker and with most
of the so-called Democratic leaders is that
they never try to get at the facts of any issue
they attempt to present. They have their old
notions of what should be-no-
tons that have long since proven utterly fall
lacious, and without undertaking by patient
to prove the correctness or error
of the positions they assume proclaim their
wild theories on every occasion and rely upon
the Ignorance of their hearers 10 shield them
from just account Facts and figures are to
them non essential as the basis of any argu |
ment. The former they comfort to suit their
whilst the latter have ever been to
hem an unknown world. Their practice is |
airly illustrated in the instance under consid-
The National tribune., 1882-08-05
A TRUE FRIEND

Promising Dying Han the Best Funeral Ever Seen.
The sun was sinking behind the snowy
peaks of the Rockies, gliding their glisten-
ing tops with rosy light, as poor Dave York
was born by the boys to his cabin. He had
been. terribly hurt by blast in the mine.
They carried him into the rude hut, and laid
him on pile of soft bear-skins before the
fire. He was suffering intensely, but he
bore it like hero. There they left him
with his partner, Dan Hamlin. Dan sat
beside the injured man and held his hand,
while the tears silently flowed down his
sunburned cheeks. The sun went down; tho
room grew dark, and the dancing flames in
the fireplace made the shadows leap up and
down on the wall. For long time the two
partners were silent. At last the injured
man spoke:
dan, I'm going over the range" he said.
"No, no; old pard, don't say that; you
will scoop the pile yet"
"No, Dan, no. Old Death holds four aces
to my two pairs. must pass in my checks.
Old pard, we've worked together, gambled
together, got drunk together, and fought
together for four long years. It's hard to
part"
You bet it is, partner"
''But it has got to come, old man. Dan,
you've stood by me always. We've accumu-
lated quite little pile. There's no one on
earth has so good q right to my share as you.
It's yours, Dan, when I am gone. But, Dan,
promise me one thing
Anything, old partner"
"Gimme bang-up tuneral!"
u will, old pard'
See that there's a good pair of flyers on
the hearse. OF course, you'll race going to
the cemetery. l never was beat in race
at my funeral"
They shan't, Dave"
And, Dan, see that there's plenty of
liquor at the grave"
III have barrel, Dave
and in the fight at the cemetery see that
there is at least three men killed. don't
want any halfway funeral"
"Tll kill the men myself"
"And, Dan, don't you think it might give
tone to the thing to lynch the undertaker?"
1t might"
"And you will do to"
ave will, pardner. And after we've got
the ceremonies at the grave attended to- we
win come back to town and have a dance
and the biggest drunk ever seen in Leadville.
You shall have the best funeral ever seen in
these parts"
"Dan, yer true friend. Good-by, old
pard, I'm goin'! Good-by, good"
Dave York had gone over the range.
The National tribune., 1882-08-05

again, and you might find your last state
worse than your first if another repentance
were to set in on your part"
Don't congratulate me too soon, old fel-
low Of myself | am sure enough, but of
Pauline-Ah, Jacques, perhaps if your peo-
pie and mine had not been at so much trou-
bic to bring us together, we might have
found one another out and fallen in love
naturally! AS it is, you see"
my good Hugh, l see nothing but logi-
cal and COMPREHENSIVE state of things.
Four months ago, when you were strangers,
you choose to exhibit yourself-forgive me
in a very unpleasant light; now Pauline
knows you better, and she has seen through
the fraud you put On her. Our people made
mess of the thing, as folks always do when
they try to manage the matrimonial con-
Germs of Others. Love should be led, not
driven; and when my turn comes, let's hope
they will show that they've learnt wisdom
and not get manHuyring on my behalf with
any desirable young person. Well, its $50,
and if we are to be home in time for dinner
we ought to be making tracks"
Later on that same event ful day, in a re-
mote corner of Madame Lestrange's draw
ingroom over two cups of postprandial cof-
fee, Hugh and Mademoiselle Pauline pri-
vately arranged their own love affairs very
much to their individual satisfaction, and to
the subsequent JOY and graduation OF the
parties secondarily concerned.
And l only hope that the gallant and re-
jected Colonel found balm for his disappoint-
ment in the reflection that but for his time
ly intervention two foolish young persons,
whom nature had designed for each other,
would probably have never tod their love,
and might have gone on until the end of
this dispensation mistaking the ardOr of
Cupid's fame for the mild effulgence Of
cousinly affection.
The National tribune., 1882-08-05
A Gypsy MARRIAGE IN ENGLAND,

An interesting ceremony took place yes
terday at st. Mary's Church, East Moulsey.
when two members of the ancient Gipsy
tribes of the CoOpers and Taylors were mar
rled with Protestant rites. The Rev. F..
Reynolds, rector, ofticiated. Prior to the
marriage ceremony baby belonging to the
Cooper family was baptized, after which
Elias Taylor, styling himself "cab pro-
prietor," and Louisa Cooper, whose father
described himself as a traveller" were mar
ried. The church was crowded with Gipsies,
who were in the neighborhood in great num-
bers to attend the Hampton races The bride
wore striped, pale blue, French silk dress,
with long train, covered with a cream
colOred satin shawl, and a white straw hat
trimmed with wild flowers; she carried in
her hand bouquet of wild flowers The
bridegroom looked like London coster-
monger in his Sunday best" At the close
of the ceremony the Wedding March" was
played on the organ by Mr. Wyman and as
the newly married pair left the church they
were received with shower of rice. Almost
all the Glpsies present were profusely deco
rated with wild flowers. 1t has become the
practice with Gipsies within the last ten or
fifteen years, whenever marriage is agreed
upon, to have it celebrated in the church
nearest the locality where any race or sport
ing meeting is being held which the tribe
attends.-LoRdOn STANDARD, June 18.
The National tribune., 1882-08-05
SORT OF RREVET DEVIL,
Strange Power to Resist fire Possessed by
Maryland Negro.

Strange Power to Resist fire Possessed by
Maryland Negro.
Nathan Coler is of pure African lineage,
black as ebony, and of stalwart frame. He
is now somewhere between sixty and seventy
years of age, and has resided all his life in
the lower part of Tuckahoo Neck, Md. He
has no knowledge of books cannot even re-
peat the alphabet, but is much above medi-
ocrity in point of general intelligence and
good, hard, cornfield common sense, as COM
pared with his race. When quite young he
conceived the idea of becoming fire-proof,
and before he was twenty-five he was a YER
liable fire-king. How he acquired the power
to perform the feats of placing his hands and
arms in vessel of boiling water and keen
ing them there for ten minutes. licking n
red hot shovel, holding in his mouth molten
lead, and even swallowing it, as well az
many others more daring, without apparent
injury, no one knows, nor has he ever re-
vealed the secret. In fact, it is doubtful if
he can himself explain the mystery: but ba
can and does handle bars of iron g!c-yino
with white heat, eat glowing charcoal made
from hickory or oak wood, walk barefooted
on a red-hOt bar of iron sixteen feet long.
with perfect cOOlness and delberati0n. These
facts are attested by many respectable wit
nesses. He used to delight in frightening
the ignorant and superstitious country peo-
pie, to whom he was unknown, whenever he
could find crowd gathered around the stove
in village or country store, by stalking in,
opening the stove door, and running his
hand down in the fire and deliberately TAX
ing live coal in his fingers and coolly place
it in his pipe and walk off
He was at one time on exhibition. and his
strange feats created considerable excite
ment, but owing to his dislike of notoriety
and lack of education he retired from the
stage. His power Of resisting the effect of
fire is singular, and has never, so far as 7
know, been explained, though he has been
examined by a number of scientific men.
Many of the colOred people, and, in fact, not
few of the whites, who had been taught by
the crude theologians of fifty years ago 10
believe in a personal devil with horns, tail
and clOven foot, whose kingdom was the
bottomless pit, and who occasionally treated
his refractory subjects to doses of molten
lead, firmly believed, and perhaps some of
them still believe, that Nathan was sort Of
brevet devil himself Wiimiagton Nelcs
The National tribune., 1882-08-05
ONE WOMAN TOO OLD.

Old Dinah," an Onondaga Indian squaw
living on the New York reservation at a
wonderful age and in great bodily infirmity,
has just received pension of s. a month
and arrears of SI00. Those who ought to
know as much about her as ever can be
known affirm that she is 10S years old.
While the pension agent was reading to her
the official notification that pension had.
been granted she listened attentively until
he finished the clause, so long as said Di-
nah John shall remain in her widowhood,"
when she broke into hearty laugh and ex-
claimed, "Me too old now"
The National tribune., 1882-08-05
IN EVERY SOUND.
MAY PRoBYy.

In every sound think hear her feet
And still wend my altered way alone.
And still say Tomorrow we shall meet"
watch the shadows in the crowded street.
Each passing face I follow one by one
in every sound think hear her feet.
And months go by-blealz March and May-day
heat
Harvest IS over-vinter wcll-nigh done
And still say Tomorrow we shall meet
Among the city squares, when flowers arc sweet
With every breath sigh of hers seems blown
In every sound think hear her feet.
Bolfry and clock the unending hours repeat,
From twelve TO twelvc-and still she come ir
And still saw Tomorrow we shall meet"
Oh lonS-delaycd tomorrow hearts that beat
Measure the length of every minute gone
In every sound think ! hear her feet.
Ever the suns rise taTiily fleet,
And light the letters Oh a churchyard stone
And still say " Tomorrow we shall meet
And still from out her unknown. far retreat
She haUnts me with her tender undcrtone-
In every sound l think I near her feet
And still cay, Tomorrow we shall meet"
The National tribune., 1882-08-05
A WINDFALL FOR MINISTER HUNT,

A recent telegram from New Orleans says:
Jose Domingo, q native of Spain, came here
40 years ago a Carlist exile, and soon be-
came prominent as an importer of cigars
from Havana, o business in which he accu-
mulated an immense fortune. On Sunday
last he died, and to-day his will was opened
for probate. He declared he had no heirs,
gave his relations and friends a few liberal
bequests but left his homestead in CarOnde-
let street to COrnelia Redgly Hunt, daugh-
ter of the Hon. William I'll. Hunt, late Sec
retary of the Navy and now Minister to
Russia, and the balance of his entire estate
to Minister Hunt. Of late years Mr. Hunt
has been in somewhat embarrassed circum-
stances, but this unexpected gift of his old
friend and admirer will render him one of
the wealthiest men in the diplomatic ser
vice
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
Daily Hack from Middlebrook t.
GrauiteVille.

The undersigned will run hack from
Middlebrook to Graniteville and return,
commencing Monday, Oct. 18th. Will con-
meet with railroad trains No. and No. 4,
leaving Middlebrook' after the arrival Of No.
at 1880 p. NJ, and returning In time to
make connection with No. 4, at 2:20 p. NJ.
Fare each way, Is cents.
1t CHRISTIAN OEsTERLB.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
Beating the Government.

During the palmy days of the income tax
and when blanks were mailed to even tailors
apprentices, farmer living near Columbus
Ohio, called upon q lawyer in that city and
said:
.I'm afraid IN have to pay an income tax
on about $780,"
els that SO? That would be too bad"
"Yes; the bear idea makes me eelterrible.
I want to figure with you and see If We can't
beat the Government"
The two sat down and went over income and
expenses dozen times over, but figure rs
they would there was $500 on which income
should be paid.
SCI have it, have it !" suddenly exclaimed
the lawyer as a light broke in on him. You
must return $500 as lent on anote for year;
I'll give you my note; take the money, and
Uncle Sam may whistle"
cpl be hanged If don't do it." cried old
Cornstalk, and do it he did.
He hadn't been able to collect anything on
that note up to year ago, but he beat the
Government all the same.-Wau Street
Ne,cs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16

Newport (Kenhrcky) is situated on tn
south shore of the Ohio river, $40 miles from
its mouth, and east of the Licking. ON
popularity of its site is that If it had beer
located 519 miles from the mouth Of tn,
Ohio, 1t would have been west of the Lick
ing.
"If that's geographical or Typographical
joke" said Dickey, "you'd better label II
SO it won't be taken for the wad cut of 8
gum"
"Shut up" said I, and she closed.
Newport was founded by in the year
-; full particulars Of which will be found
in Collins History of Kentucky, and save the
Coarfer-yourRal that much expense in put
ting in type whole lot of old matter Econ-
omy gathers moss.
"I've got a conandrum," said Dickey.
"Let 1t out" said 1.
"Why is q small boy with cross parents like
Newport and Covington?" said she.
"Give It up" said 1.
'Because between the two he always finds
a licking" said she, laughing.
"Doa't laugh" said 1.
"Why?" said she.
because such veaerated age as that is
possessed Of is worthy Of more respect"
said L--Nary Jane.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
A Chicago Man Mad.

While the Park theatre in New York cit,
was burning several men in a hotel near BY
were talking out it. One was Chicago mar
and he had good deal to say. A New York.
er, who probably had not travelled much, wa,
a listener. The Chicago man recalled the biz
fire out there:I
"You remember the Chicago frep' he
Isaid.
"No, }" said the New Yorker, ST never heard
Of it. Had fire, Ell? Did anyone put II
out?"
"Dfd anyone put it out!"
"Yesf Got some engines, I suppose?''
"Why, sir, we've got the best fire de-"'
"Oh! theui was put out. Pm glad. Hope
no one lost anything"
| The Chicago man turned away, but pretty
soon came back. Aremark about the theatre
being fimsy led him to say:
"a theatre like that would not be allowed
In Chicago; no, sir, not be allowed"
Then the New Yorker Clipped in with:
"Have you really theatre in Chicagop'
"Have what?'
"A theatre. You were speaking about the
theaters. Do actors ever go out there?"
The Chicago man did not answer. He
seemed to be getting riled. The innocent
New Yorker spoke again:
would there be any chance to start a
church in Chicago? have friend who feels
that he was born to be missionary, and he
thinks that If he got into some new settle
ment-o
The Western man was really getting mad.
He squared himself and said:
"Sir, you and your friend may go to Hall
fax. II you ever come to Chicago"
swell, mebbe I will. should like to see
one of those new places. How do you get
there? Any RAILROADS.&C.
When the meeting adjourned the Chicago
man looked as If he wanted to lick some one |
right away.-Caspdr.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16

Down WITH THE PRICES OF SEWING Ma
CHIMES !-Yo ~ can now buy the best and lat
est improved Genuine Singer Machines In the
market $50 less than factory prices, for cash,
and save agents commission. Call on II. Da-
Wis, Ironton, Mo.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
The Leading Harness and Saddlery
Establishment!
Especial Attention Given Z
Fine Work!

RoaSOnab1e Prices!
/ am selling frst-class goods at lowest
prices. If you don't think so, just ask my
customers.
w. MCCARvER, Prop'r.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
Do You Want Good Fruit Trees'

If you do, we can give you no better adj
vice than to call on A. X. Sutton, proprietor
of the Arcadia Valley Nursery. He has APP
Piles, Pears, Peaches, Cherries, etc., etc.,
Of every variety. Most of the fine fruit grown
here this season is from trees taken from his
Nursery, which Is rapidly acquiring an ex-
cellent reputation. The trees grown in this
climate are certainly better suited to this
section than those imported from a distance,
come aware of the fact. We can commend
Mr.. s. unqualifiedly to every reader Of this
paper, and his word can be depended upon
at all times. Orders by mail for trees from
responsible parties will receive prompt at
tentiOn.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16

Guild Pianos are giving first-class sat-
isfaction in the st. Charles Catholic Academy
st. Charles, Mo-; Mrs. Cuthbert's Female
Seminary, 1894 Olive St., st. Louis; also at
Huntsville University, Huntsville, Mo-, and
IN many other schools where none but the
best will suit. Sold by C. w. HANDLEY &
Co., Cor. 10th 8 Olive sts., st. Louis.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
Can This be Trues

81 would Hike to have an advertisement IN.
serted" ~
This is slogan that would resurrect dead
man behind newspaper counter, and the
clerk turned as II moved by an electric cur
4 rent, and CALCULATED:
"Yes, sir; want the top Of the column,
s'poser"
"No, am not particular" said the adver-
tiser.
swami It inside next leading editorialp'
"Either page wiN answer" replied the
other.
"Want cut Of deaths head and marrow
bsRes or sore leg to make it attractive, or a
portrait of the advertiser with long hair and
rundown shirt collar.
"Clear type, black ink and white paper are
good enough for me" was the response.
"An right; want head line in type an inch
longer than jenkins ad. in next column, or
will you have 1t put In upside down or your
name in crooked letters like forked lightning
all over itf'
"No; plain, straightforward advertise
ment in q space of four inches will answer
my purpose"
"Good enough. Want about ten tenches of
notice free, don'tyou Family history; how
your grandfather black ed Washington's boots
once; mention of yourself as member of q
circulating library, church, fire company, CO.
operative store, base ball club, and other i'm
portant public positions?"
The customer said he did not care for any
notice.
"Of COURSE" said the clerk, "you want a
paper sent to each member of the firm; one
for yourself and the privilege of taking half
a dozen of the counter every week for the
next year or two because you ADVERTISED"
The gentleman expected to pay for his pa
per, and asked the price of the advertise.
ment,
The delighted clerk figured IT up. and then
asked,
SIT we send you the bill around in about q
wear, you can tell the boy when to call again,
can't you~
'No; win pay you now" said the other,
taking out roll Of bills.
"The Newspaper mans eyes bulged as he
said;
"Ah! you want to ask for 70 per cent. dis
count and % per cent. OF for oashr'
81 am ready to pay fair price for valuere-
ceiyed. Tell me your regular rates and here
Ia the money"
beatifc expression spread over the wan
face Of the worn clerk, and he murmured:
"stranger, when did you come down, and
when do you expect the Apostles alongT-
Boston Commercial BulstsH.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
Arcadia College
AND ACADEMY'
or THE URSULINB SISTERS

OF TH1 UESUL1N1 SISTERS
The system Of education pursued in this
institution is designed to develop the NOR
al intellectual and physical powers Of the
pupils; to make them refined. accomplish
ed and useful members of society.
receiYed-all interference with their con.
victions being carefully avoided.
TERM9
For young lady boarders will be for the
present, per session OF five months,
$75. 00-payable in advance.
Terms for instruction in music, foreign
languages, drawing, painting and or
namental handiwork can be had by ap-
plying as below.
Attached to the Convent, and totally
separated from the boarding school, is
SELECT DAY SCHOOL
In which the usual branches Of sound and
practical education are carefully imparted.
A system of rewards and monthly ex-
limitations beget in the pupils healthy
mutation which stimulates study and
produces surprising results.
Terms n the Day school will remain a.
formerly - One Dollar, Two Dollars,
Four Dollars, or Five Dollars per month,
according to the studies pursued.
In the Day School boys IA years OF
age and under svitl be received.
prOspectusas, and other information,
may may be had by applying ps; in person Or BY
Superforess Of the Convent of the Ursulne Sisters
Arcadia Iron Co. Mo.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-16
graa GDaatg @egister.
Hunsins owls In Missouri.
BY J. C. sCHGNBERGER.


You, who are skilled in hunting fowls,
Know you how they capture owlss
MOI Then wait q bit and see
How Ms done In Missouri.
Wen, they start out for the woods,
Having DO explosive goods,
Nothing Of the kind. you know,
Nothing but the plan below.
Now they spy one on tree,
Very wise owl looks to be;
When they see he starts with fear
Round his tree their course they steer.
And the owl leers, as is right,
To keep the hunter In his sight;
Onward still the hunters bound
The owl his head twists round and round
Wen, the Consequence one knows
So, at least, the story goes
Keeping the owl upon the string
Till his head quite of they wiring!
Detroit Free Press.