davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

SELECT thunder Professor Ito student
who writes, not for the masses, bot for
the educated few, you should write so
that the most ignorant of your audience
can understand all you can say" Student
(puzzled), "What part of my production
is not clear TO you, sir I"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

A CHEERFUL face Is as good for an in
valid as healthy weather. To make a
sick man think he is dy ing, ali that Is nec-
essary is to look half dead yourself. Hope
rnd fear are catching AS cutaneous COM
plants. Always look cheerful whether
you feel so or not.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

CUCUMBERs STUFFED. - Select short,
thick cucun1bers and split in two. Scoop
out the seeds and part of the meat. Fry a
teaspoonful of grated onion in butter, and
salt, pepper and nutmeg, the inside of the
cucumbers. and some bread soaked in wa
ter and squeezed. If too dry add a little
gravy or some melted butter. Stir until
well mixed and heated through. Fill each
half cucumber with the mixture; put some
bread crumbs with little piece of butter
on the top; lay in pan, the round side
down and bake.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

CLAY Off your overcoaL or you won't
feel il when you go out, " SAID the landlord
of western inn TO guest, who was sit
ting by the fire. That's what am afraid
off," returned the man. 1.-The last time
| was here lald off my overcoat, didn't
feel it when l went out and haven't felt il
SINCE
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

SAID Sidney Smith, at you masthead q
sailor for not dong his duty, why should
you not weathercock a parishioner for not
paying his pew rent 2" If this hint should
be acted on, large number Of church
members would get nearer to heaven while
here than they will after death.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
rrarne Co. tonlol democrat. ]

Mr.. William E. Snvder OF West L,ba-
non, OHIO, says: For some time past |
had been severely affl cted with Rheuma-
tlsm. Seeing an advertisement of ST..
Jacobs Oil, l proclred bottle, and l
could feel the effect of the Oh up'n the
first application. | AN now entirely we'll
after using one bottle.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

THE following tees are named as the
best for planting artificial forests in the
western states; Yellow cottonwood, max
ing saw log or rail cut sooner than any
other tree; Usage orange, giving strong and
lasting timber; and not tronbled by In
sects; the hardy catalpa, of quick growth
and lasting timber; white elm and western
plane tree; black walnut, one of the most
valuable of trees; soft maple, furnishing in
a short time great amount of fire wood;
and the fast growing willows, tie silver
poplar, the cottonwood and the Lombardy
nnDlar
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Indulgent parents who allow their chill
dren to eat heartily of high-seasoned food.
rich pies, cake, &C., will have to use Hop
Bitters to prevent indigestion, sleepless
nights, sickness, pain, and, perhaps,
death. No family Is safe without them in
the house.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

LYDIA E. Pnkllam's Vegetable Com
pound is remarkable remedy for all those
painful complaints and weaknesses so COM
mon to our best female population. Send
to Mrs. Lydia E Pinkham, 233 Western
Avenue, Lynn, Mass. for pamphlets.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

At the present time the country Ia
flooded with preparations for Coughs and
Colds but far ahead Of all others is DIR.
Bulls Cough Syrup, that old and tried
remedy for Coughs, Colds, Consumption,
etc
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

CITY belle (meeting country aunD: 80,
I'm so glad to see you Come and s,e us
next week, do, for Pm going TO have a
german on Thursday" Aunt with sever
ity): "Not !, child; l don't want to see
any one of the family that's going to make
a fool of herself by marrying foreigner. 4"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

BE yer takin' much interest In politics
this fall, Bill 2" asked the first tramp.
"Skurcely," answered the second tramp;
"but 1 expect to be runnin" for suthin'
myself purity soon." "What do yer spose
yerll run fur, Bill?" "The poor house
wlgon."
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Torpid Kidneys, and constipated bowels
are the great causes of chronic diseases.
Kidney Wort has cured thousands. Try
it and you will add more TO their number.
Habitual costiVeness afilicts millions oi
the American people. Kidney Wort will
cure il.
KIdney-Wort has cured kidney com.
plants OF thirty years standing. Try it.
See adv.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Unlike other cathartics, DR.. Pierce's
''Pellets" do not render the bowels costive
after operation, but, on the contrary, es-
tablish a permanently healthy action.
Being entirely Uegeta6Le no particular
care is required while using them. BY
druggists
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

A Boy at Columbus swallowed twenty
feet of red ribbon IN order that he might
afterward pull it out of his mouth, conju-
rer fashion, and astonish the family. 1t
took doctor four weeks TO set him on his
feet npain
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
HUMOROUS.

A BoY walked into an Office on Laurel
street with a pocketbook in his hand and
inquired if Mr.. Blank was in. "Chat s
my name," replied one of the gentlemen.
swell, there's wallet with your name IN
It," Eyes. lost il this morning" He
received it, and the boy started down stairs
but was halted by the call; "Say, boy,
what's your name 80, that's all right, "
replied the boy as he backed down.
"'Tain't worth your saying I'm an honest
boy and Offering me ten cents for my
trouble, for there was only fifty cents in
the wallet, and ma used that to buy some
soap and new clothes.ine.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

"WELI, how did you enjoy your din
ner?" Don't mention IT." said the other
feehngly-"don't mention It. 1t is good
deal like the financial question in Con-
gress. "Hows' that2" "Why, It's apt
to come up ut any moment"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

NORTH GREECE. N. Y, April %, 1880.
DIR. X. " PIRRoE. Buffalo, N. Y:
Dear Sri feel it my duty TO write and
thank YOU for what yom Golden Medi-
cal Discovery" and "Favoute Prescrip-
ton" have done for my daughter. 1t is
now five weeks since she began their use.
She Is more ileshy, has more color IN her
face, no headache, and IL in other ways
greatly improved.
Yours truly, MRs MARCELLA MYARs.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

There is but one way to cure badness,
and that is Dy using CARBoLINR. a deodor-
lied extract of petroleum, the natural hair
grower. AS recently improved, it is the
only dressing for the hair that cultured
people will use.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Constant Sources Of Etectricity.-A
section suitably cut in hemihedral crystal
with inclined surfaces and placed between
two leaves of tin, constitutes a condenser
which is capable Of charging itself when
compressed. With this system we may
realize a new instrument, a condenser
source, which posses special properties. 1t
may serve as a standard of static electricity
for measuring charges and capacities. The
authors give in this memoir an absolute
measurement of the quantities of electIici-
ty liberated by tourmaline and quartz un-
der q given pressure.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

PROBABLY there are not half dozen
hired girls in the United States who don't
know which are their nights ''out !" but
the man isn't born yet who can point TO
one who can explain how the nose OF the
water pitcher got cracked.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

THE horse-hy has 1000 eye lenses, the
cabbage but terhy 1900, and certain
beetles %. 600, but the woman who is jeal-
QUE of the hired girl can beat the crowd
ia laps.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

A HIGH compliment Jcnes-"What
did you think of my argument, Fogg ~
Fogg-'Gt was sound, very sound. Zones
is delighted) Nothing but sound in fact. "
Jones reaches for brick
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

ORANGE IoE.-To make a delicious
orange ice take six oranges, use the
juice of all and the grated peel of three,
two lemons (the juice only, one pint of
sugar dissolved in one pint of water !;
freeze as you do ice cream.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Two views of th3 matter: Yes SAID
Pendleton, swellingly, ''what am can
truly say my wife made me-" Not very
complimentary TO Mrs. Pendleton," re-
piled Blunt in stage whisper.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

THE acme of polteness was reached by
the Nevada mining superintendent who
posted aplacard reading PLEASE do not
tumble down the shaft.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

THE actors who travel with two paper
oollats and a grlpsack are all saying tina
they lost their wardrobe at the burning o
the warehouse in New York.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

NEGLIGENT patriots; Talk about uu-
kissed kisses' and 'Funthunk thoughts. F"
1t is the unvoteI votes that makes half the
in politics.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

PREACHER (arriving drenched) what
shall | do Mrs. McGregorf / am wet
through and through" Old Scotchwoman
-"Get into the pulpit as sune as We can.
Yen be dry emo there,
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

TEMPERANCE item: Drinking beer may
quench the thirst, but it will not refresh
the memory. That delicate matter is one
Of the duties of the bartender.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

''GoLDEN MEDICAL Drso o)vERY' Grade
mark registered) is not only sovereign
remedy for consumption, but also for con-
sumptive night-sweats. bronchitis, coughs
splitting of blood, weak lungs, shortness OF
breath, aud kindred AFT ,cuons OF the
throat and chest. BY druggists.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
Certain KnOwIe dge.

We know whereof we affirm when we
say that Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver
Cure has performed more wonderful cures
than any medicine ever brought before
the American public.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

A WESTERN paper contains an account
of young lady "charming rat" But
that's nothing. We have known young
lady to charm q democ. rat.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Biliousness, constipation, or headache
is the sign of disordered liver. ''Sell-
ers' Liver Pills" always cure % cents a
box.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

"MY love is gone" is The name of the
latest song written by young man III
Boston. Of course, this is rough, but the
''absent girl eats no oysters"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

III you want TO get rid OF pimples. boils,
letter, etc, use ''Lindsey's Blood Search
err" Sold by druggists.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

ST)vE-plpe surgeons nave great deal !
practice at present setting dislocated el-
bows repairing broken legs, and supplying
missing arms.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

angular distance of CoLors. The
projection of table of colors upon the
sides or an equilateral triangle renders it
possible to determine the exact angular
distance of the coIors, result which has
not yet been obtained, and which suffjces
to connect together the facts at present
known. The author gives diagram rep
resenting the law of the mixture of colors,
and which will be advantageously substl-
tuted for NeWton's rule.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

The following communi cation 10 the editor OF
the Salem (Mass.l Register shows how artist
treated his visitor: e would have accepted your
kind invitation 10 visit you In your new quarters
with pleasure before this had not my old enemy,
Mr. rheumatism, pounced on me so suddenly.
He arrived last Friday, and, without stopping TO
send up his card rushed In and grasped me by
the hand with such grip that in a few hours
my hand and wrist were so badly swollen and
painful that | felt as though one Of Mr.. Hatchs
coal teams had run over me- Mr. Rheumatism
has been a constant visitor OF mine for several
wears; he always swells and put on great many
airs making himself at home, devouring my sub
stance and leaving me poor I'm flesh and pocket.
Last winter he came and stayed two months.
then decided that the next time he came would
change his diet ] was somewhat AT a loss what
10 feed him with, but finally concluded 20 give
him three square meals day OF ST. JACOBS OIL
morning noon and night. This fare he II dis
gusted with, and is packing up his trunk and viii
leave by tomorrow or next day; says he cannot
stop any longer "a he has pressing business else
where He is treacherous fellow and he in
tends visiting some Of our Salem friends; IL he
does Just give him the same fare that / did and
he won't stop long. J. :. LEFAYoUR.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

MKssRs. MORGAN q HKADLY Mutual Life
Building, Tenth and Chestnut stree g. haYe on
hand a superb stock OF extra fne quality Dia-
mondS, which they offer al as low prices As
stones OF the tirst quality perfect alike In color
ana Rhapa ha eold for
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

PETER Henderson recommend the fol-
lowing mixture as a remedy for mildew
on rose bushes; Boil one pound of sui
phur and one pound of lime IN two gallons
of water until it is reduced to three quarts.
After settling, pour it into bottle or jar
to keep. Before using it add 80 times as
much water to each portion of the bottle,
SO that it will not be SO strong as to injure
the leaves
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

SPICED GRAPES. The Catawba grapes
are especially nice in this way.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

In his address at the York meeting of
the British Association, Prof. Huxley pre-
dicted that 80 years hence, or in the cen
tennial year of the association, whoever
undertakes to record the progress of pale
ontology will note the present time as the
epoch in which the law of succession of
the forms of the higher animals was deter
mined by the observation of pa@ontologi-
cal facts.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

Ask Druggists for it. 1t clears out rats
mice, reaches, bed-bugs, flies, verrlin, in
sects loo.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
0NNew Year Cards New Styles With Name lOc-
GOPostpaid. GEO. l. REED Co, Nassau, N. Y.

own COURTsHIP and MARRIAGE
law IL Wonderful secrets, revelations and
discoveries for married or single, securing health
wealth and happiness TO all This handsome book OF
l28 pages laled for only lO cents, by The Union Pub
fishing Co., Newark, n. ].
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
Fever and Ague.

FEVER and AGUR cured for 90 cents There
Is net a remedial agent An this world that villa
cure Fever and Ague, and other MAlarion5, Bill
Gus, scarlet. Typnold Yellow and other feveTB
Saided by Railways PinM) 80 quickly as RAD
WAYS READY RELIEF.
IL VIII In few moments, when taken accord
ting 20 directions cure Cramps, Spasms, Sour
Stomach, Heartburn, Sick Headache, DlarrhGa,
Dysentery, Colic, Wind In the Bowels, and all
Internal Pains.
Travellers should always carry bottle OF RAD
ways Ready Relief with them. A few drops In
wa CT viii prevent sickness or pains nom
change OF water. II is better than French
Brandy or bitters as q sttmulant.
Miners and Lnm6ermen should always be
mroyided with iI.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

relieve PAIN with one thorough ApplIcaLlcnI
no matter how violent or eXcructRcng the pain
the Rheumatic, Bod-ridden. Innrm, Crippled.
Eervous. Neuralgic or prOstratQd with disease
man sufYer, RAILWAYS READY RELIEF Win
AFFORD instant ease.
amnamaMmmaaOm ogGhe Kidneys, EmanmMaa~
GfOn 0fthe Bladder, En1 ann nlRffOn Oftha
Bowels, Cong esti0n ef the kBngn. SOt
Throat. Dffneun breath Ing. F2Ap1eatA0m
81 the Heart, HSateSfea. Group. Dlph-
etGeri1- C8t0rrh. AnnuenR@- AenaaeheS
rsS xaNaIai 1S ~ - IN. 1Iss~9s nS--1
Rr0ss BIteA. BruhSea. summer Coma
piatmea, NeTw0@@neams SIe e. y e@nm emR,
h,OuRhm- TOEdm, 8prmAmn. Pains hn the
amcst. Back or LfMba are INSTANTLY RE-
Mew@d.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
pATT0IVQ MON THLYMAGA2INE &

Those answering an advertisement will
confer a favor upon the advertiser nd the
publisher by stating that they saw the ad'
VerUIsement I'm this journal (naming pap er.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12

The Voltaic Belt Co, Marshall. Mich, will
send their Electro-Voltaic Belts and other
Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days to
any person affl ,ctel With Nervous Debility.
Lozt Vitality, aud kindred troubles, guarantee
ing complete restoration OF vigor AID man.
hood.
Address "a above without delay.
p. S.-No risk is incurred, Ms 80 days trial
IL allowed
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-01-12
CAUTION.

All remedial agents capable OF destroying lifa
by an overdose should be avoided. Morphine,
opium, str chnlnc, aFnlc@, hyOSclamuSS ana
other powerful remedies. does at certain times,
an very small doses relieve she patient during
their action I'm the system. But perhaps the
second dose. II repeated. may aggraEaLe aId In
crease the suffering and another dose cause
death. There Ia no necessity for wing these
uncertain agents when positive remedy Ike
Railways Ready Rel ef VIII stop the most eX-
WruciAiing pain quicker without entailing the
least dl1lcUlty In either infant or adult
THE TRUE RELIEF.
RGpwkYB RKApY RELIKF Is the only remedial
AGENT In vogue that win instantly stop pain
Fifty Cents Per Bottle.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-11-09
IN AM ] / CD )
HOW LOST, HOW RESTORED.

Just published. new edition of DR..
Culverwell's Celebrated Essay on the
radical cure ofSpermatorrhoe or Semi.
nal Weakness, Involuntary Seminal
Losses Impotency, Mental and Phyi-
cal Incapacity, Impediments to Mar
riage, etc; also, Consumption, Epil
epsy and fits induced by self-indul-
gence or sexual extravaganza, &c.
The celebrated author, i'm this adj
mirable Essay, clearly demonstrates,
from thirty years successful practice
that the alarming consequences of
self-abuse may be radically cured ;
pointing out mode of cure at once
simple, certain, and efftctnal, by means
of which every sufferer, no matter
what his condition may be may cure
himself cheaply, privately, and rdei'
cdty.
BfS@This Lecture should be in the
hands of every youth and every man
i'm the land.
Sent under seal in a plain envelope,
to any address, postpaid, on receipt OF
six cents or two postage stamps.
Address,
THE CULVDRWELL MEDICAL Co.,
II Ann ST., New York, N. y; Post
Office Box, 4jO.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-11-09
The 18th of last month was a note

The 18th of last month was note
worthy date, being the Both anniver-
sary of the introduction Of the Gregor-
ian calender 1t was the work of
Pope Georgory MIL, who in the
year 1882, being struck by the fact
that the vcrnal equinox, which at the
time OF the council of Nice, y. ID. 325,
had occurred on March y, then hap
pened on the lGth, caused ten days to
be thrown out of the current year
the day after Thursday, Oct. t, being
declared Oct. 10. This alienation of
the style was Immediately adopted in
all the Roman Catholic countries of
Europe; and even in England an at
tempt, OF which little notice has been
taken, was made to introduce it two
years later. On the 10th Of March,
in the House of Lords entitled "An
act giving her Majesty authority to
alter and new make calendar ac
eOrding to the calendar uscd in other
countries" 1t was read n srronh time
Oh the 18th of the same month, and
then the project was shelvcd for Irarly
two centuries. 1t was not till the
year 1852, in the regin of George IT.,
that the Gregorian calendar was adj
opted in England, and by that time il
had become necessary to drop eleven
days. The 81 Of September WIS de-
clared the l4tlr,so that the month only
contained nineteen days.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-11-09

The latest swindlc on farmers,
which generally succeeds on those
who take no papers, is outlined III an
exchange as follows: "Twu rog'Ir>
watch the papers for estray notices,
and when one is published one "rth"m
goes to look ut the animal. d. cOdisc
on application the unsuspccting farmer
shows the beast, and the fellow decides
that it is not his, and then returns to
his partner and described the animal
minutely. No.2 goes to the farmer,
and after proving by a thorough dcs-
cription that he is owner of the animal
says he can't take it away, and offers
to sell it at a bargain. Tie farmer
buys and in day or two the right Iui
owner comes and claims the animal
aud of course the farmer is out just Sc
much.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-11-09

Are purer. better, stronger, and longer
known in the market than any other article
Of the kind. Are always sure and reliable,
and never fail to insure the best results
in cookery. Ask your grocer for it and
give it trial, Satisfaction guaranteed or
no pay.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-11-09
A Young Man'S Sad Death.

4 PROMINENT SOCIETY MAN ROASTED
ALIVE WHILE CAROUSING WITH
FAST COMPANIONS.
Baltimore, Nov. 3.-John w. Pear
son, Il young business man, of Balti-
more, and one of the handsOmest
young men in the city, was burned to
death this morning at the Arlington
Summer Garden on North ligl street.
The garden was II disreplItable place,
and Pearson had gone TO bed thryc in
an intoxicated condition. There were
three persons in one bed--HcarSeh
James Mckinney, a circus man, and
Georgie Supplee, a young WonI"li
of the town. About three O'Clock this
morning fire broke out on the floor
below them. The girl was first to
awake, and ran out on the roof, jumped
into Il policeman's arms, and escaped
with slight bruises. Mckinney also
made his escape, burning his hands
and head. Pearson got out of bed, but
fell mt the door and there was roasted
till his body was as black as coal.
Phe girl and Mckinney both thought
that he had goOten out when they did,
and told the fireman so. Had it not
been for this his life might have been
saved. He was very popuarin society
and had fine voice, whicE led him to
take part in amateur opera perior'
nanees. He was engaged to be mar
ried to Il young lady of Northeast Bal
tinore and the wedding was to have
come Off next February. 1t is only
within the past few months that Inc
had led fast life.