Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1882-11-11
PLEASANT,RIES.
WHILE there's lye there soap.

TRAIN up a child in the way yoa
should have gone yourself.
BOOK with loose leaf should b
bound over TO keep the piece.
Fritz says he can't cat oleomargarine
because il disagrease with him.
IT is little singular that man will
bolt ticket he cannot swallow.
In Nantucket there are sixteen
women to one man." Happy man
"THAT butter is too fresh," as tho
man remarked when the goat lifted him
over the fence.
WHAT rifles a country postmistress ia
to have postal card come to the Office
written in French.
A aAMEcooK ought to be good eating.
Does not the poet say, "The bravest
are the tenderest?
A VAssAR COLLEGE, girl, upon being
asked if she liked Goldfish balls, said she
never attended any.
1T is never too late to mend. Which
is why the cobbler never has your boots
done at the time promised.
THIRTY-Two cifcuses are bleeding this
unhappy land. What tough time it is
those poor old jokes are having.
The force of habit example has no
effect on the man in the moon. He
stays sober when the moon gets full
"Srx GIRLS" is the title of the latest
novel. 1t is expected that n sequel, en-
titled "Our Broken Gate" will be issued
soon.
AN Irishman, eating his first green
corn, handed the cob to the waiter and
asked: "Will ye PLACE put some more
banes upon me sthick?"
THE following Typographical error
shows the vast importance of comma.
At banquet this toast was given
Woman--withou her man, is brute"
GEoRoIE a years old, ut the tea-table):
Mamma, may l have some sardines ?"
Mamma: "Wait till I'm ready, Georgia
George (surprised): "Why, ma, it's me
AS wants EN-"
An English servant-girl who had re-
turned from the United States, u visit
her friends at home, was told that she
Cooked really aristocratic." To which
she responded: Eyes, in America all Of
us domestics belong to the hire class"
RoBISsos (after long whist bout II
the club)-"lt is awfully late. Brown.
What will you say to your wife 2" Brown
lin whisper)-"Oh, shan't say much,
you know; Good morning, doar, or
something Of that sort. She'll say tho
rest"
A CoLoRADo photographer started in
to be desperate. but he Lost his life
the first time he tried to kill man a,
After covering his intended victim, he
gave the victim time 10 draw and shoot
arst, by pausing 10 remark ere he fred
snow, look natural l"--B ostOn Poet.
MOTHER Ito new girl, who had been
hired 10 amusc the children): "Mary,
now is this? These children are making
terrible noise "Well, indeed they
are, ma'am, and I'm 30 glad you've come
in. Hero I've been trying 10 write for
the last half hour. and their noise il 70
listrncting."
THIS is the season Of the year when
the mince pie comes TO town, and the citi-
zen comes down town after dinner try
ing 10 pry raisin seed uot Of hollow
tooth with bnck-sAin milton, and he
stops in the drug store and orders an
other box Of those powders for indi.
gestion. --PccRs Sun.
A YOUNG man who lives in Austin, aud
whose musischc in like faith, "the evil
dence Of things hoped for, the substance
81 things not yet seen" called on his
prospective fathex oa-'aw and gave notice
that he intended marrying tho old sen
ueman's daughter at an early date. III
asd better tAkep!ace on Saturday. so tina.
Il will not interfere with your school
hours" sarcasticAlly remarked the old
Osu.