davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24
0Jesso.N

We want more industry and more OPP
portunities for our boys and our girls,
and We want our cotton worked up at
home and that will give us cheaper
goods, for we won't have to pay freight
both ways. They talk great deal about
n tariff for revenue only, but have never
seen one yet that didn't prove TO be
tariff for protection, and ] never will. 1t
is all a complicated piece Of machinery
fixed up by politicians to get to Con-
gress, and they stay there and the poor
consumers don't know anything about
it. Jesse. In the good old honest days
when the masses of the people made
nearly everything at home it didn't mat
ter so much, but it does now. ! was
a-thinking Of the days when we used to
wear country jeans and homemade
shoes aud wool hats and drank water
out of clean gourd instead of silver
d1pper and sat in split-bottom chairs
the best chair in the world-and lived in
houses we were not afraid of. do hate
to be afraid of house when | 90 in it.
| was thinking of the times when the
boys went to mill and chopped the fire.
wood and wore home made galluses and
made balls ont OF old rubber shoes and
played marbles without Judging, and
called up doodle-bugs out Of their sand
holes. The boys are now too smart for
the like Of that They know more than
we know, and by the time they are
grown they will know it all and quit
jesse But still 1 am hopeful. There
is always some good seed in the basket,
and maybe the old stock won't run out
entirely rim 1yJ
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

If ALI that is said against the China
men is true, they are indeed filthy
race. A paragraph on the rounds con
tains the following information " An
habitue of an opium den in Virginia
City, Nevada, discovered that the pill
low he was using was the dead body Of
a man covered by quilt. The Coroner
found it to be Chinese body that had
been dead for two or three days. The
keeper of the place said he came in Of
the railroad, sick"
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24
TIE following from Robert Bonner, o.

The following from Robert Bonner, OF
the New York Ledger, will start new
boom in story writing "a man who
looked like perfect idiot came into my
Office one summer afternoon about ten
years ago, end told me he had story
which he wished to sell to me for publi-
cation in my paper. At first ! thought
il would not be worth while to spend my
time to even look at the story, for il
seemed to me that such an idiotic- look
ing fellow could not write anything that
would be fit to print. He pleaded sc
hard, however, TO have me just look Al
his story that finally consented to taxi
the manuscript and submit it to one Q
my editors. The editor read it, and j
proved to be one Of the best stories eve
brought into my Office.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

is embraced with successive layers of
regularly inteslaced growth of shuck,
which in color and appearance closely
resembles the pineapple. After Ger
tain age they lose this, the trunk assum-
ing firm, smooth surface, which first
makes its appearance next the ground,
gradually extending to the top as the
tree natures.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

SINCE the statement has been pub
lished that DIR. Mary Walker received
the appointment of clerk to the special
Congressional Committee on Woman
Suffrage, Senator Lapham, Of New
York, the Chairman of the committee,
is having the life pestered out Of him
by woman suffragists. He AYERS that he
has no rest, and to add to it his mails
are burdened with all manner Of effusioni
from the tender sex.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24
The Magnetic Needle.

A condensed explanation in regard tc
the needle pointing to the northward and
southwark is as follows The magnetic
poles Of the earth do not coincide with
the geographical poles. The axis Of
rotation makes an angle Of about 23O
with a line joining the former. The
northern magnetic pole is at present
near the Arctic circle, on the meridian Of
Omaha. Hence the needle does not
everywhere point TO the astronomical
north, and is constantly variable within
certain limits. At San Francisco il
points about seventeen degrees 10 the
east Of north, and at Calais, Me, as
much to the west. At the northern
magnetic pole, balanced needle points
With its north end downward in plumb
line. At San Francisco it dips about
sixty-three degrees, and at the southern
magnetic pole the south end points
directly down. The attraction of the
earth upon a magnetic needle at its sur,
face is Of about the same force as that Of
hard steel magnet, forty inches long
strongly magnetized, at distance OF one
foot. The foregoing is the accepted ex
lpIanation Of tho fact that the needle
points to the northward and eouthvard
\ OF course, no ultimate reason can b'
/ given for this latural fact, any more thar
for any other observed fact ia nature"
rrp4rrox IL hotter than a notation
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24
nUMORS OF THE DAY.


clerk.
ALWAYS ready to take hand in con-
yersation--deaf and dumb people.
"THERF is no rest for the wigged = is
what bald.headed man said when ho
chased his false hair up the street in
gale.
You can always tell the fastidious man
by his sending twenty-seven cuffs and
collars to the laundry, accompanied by
siugle shirt. - Yonkers Gazette.
''THE truth always pays in the end"
is an old saying, and that is the reason
probably why there is SO little OF it told
ut the beginning Of any business trans
action.
A YOUNG lady bearing the aristocratio
cognomen Of Jardine recently deserted
her lover, because iii an impassioned
sonnet, he made her name rhyme with
"sardino."
WRLu," said cowboy, as he looked
nj Sookey, when she had come through
n weedy stubble-feld. "Well, old gal,
you amt got wings, exactly, but You are
a buried Of passage, all the same"
POVERTY is tho mother Of rest An
editor is proverty. Therefore an editor
is the mother Of rest, but he never gets
very woll acquainted with his offspring
on this terrestrial sphere, Hampton.
Tnu gentleman who caught severe
cold from pressing his lips to a maiden's
sioN9 Inv, otIsoava ~ a',u, & sn,;los ~ an
Nn, MIN 9,As Sa;. dsl " - gaIaJa 1,,e,ico,,
o'''Oi i"'i ''''''90i' o,.''V -i'''s'
J9'lN n, had on, "p9b ,,S q smIh lmnpdar-'one' n
Tho dpop' went OIL but not alone,
smiths finger went of with IT,
A NEW YoRK lady who was travelling
in Ohio gave a baby her gold watch TO
play with, and tho baby guped IT down
and cried for more. what they can't
swallow IN that state must be over foot
IL width. Detroit free Press.
YouNd man, look not upon the church
sociable oyster stew when it is red
with pepper; because at the last it sting.
eth like an adder and biteth hole in
your poclset-book to considerable
amount. TT IPitliamSpou Breakfast
1dbtc.
SAID the sailor to his sweetheart II
know that ladies care little about nauti-
cal matters, but if you had your choice
Of slip, what kind of a one would you
| prefer?' She cast down her eyes,
blushed and whispered: "a little
smack.
TIM latest marvel Of science is instan-
taneous photography. BY the aid of this
process il is possible to obtain a picture
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

The assessed value Of real and per-
sonal property in New York City is $2,-
90 900, 900. This does not include $55,-
000,O 900 worth of church property, $780,
600, 600 worth Of school and library prop
erty, and SIS, 900, 600 worth of real estate
owned by the United States, nor does it
include the reputed wealth of many
millionaires. Further, it is only 60 per
cent. Of the actual value Of the property
assessed. New York is no one-horse
place.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

IT SEEMS now to be a question whether
the Senate has the right to originate a
funding bill. The Committee on Ways
and Means have referred the proposition
to a subcommittee. Should the matter
be decided in the negative, it is said the
Committee on Ways and Means will pro-
ceed to frame a new funding bill, and ig-
more entirely the Sherman bill, which
has already passed the Senate.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

THE Dorsey combination-J. w. Dor
sey, i. w. Vail, John NJ. Miner, J. b.
Sanderson, r. @. Rendell and Thos. J,
Brady-eharge with conspiracy to de.
fraud the Government, have been in
dicted by the Grand Jury.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A WOMAN who died in Paris recently,
at the advanced age Of one hundred and
two years, had lived a widow eighty
years. She had no man to poster the
life out of her.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

WHEN a man is sentenced to hang at
st. Louis, the man gets in hurry about
it and hangs himself with his bed
blanket. This saves the Sheriff great
deal Of trouble.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

RECENTLY pack of wolves entered
church at Uvarre, Spain, and refused to
quit it until they had killed three
and seriously wounded five of the
congregation.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

IT IS estimated that more than ST.
900, 900 is spent annually in New York
for cut flowers. AS to how much is spent
on the poor no estimate has yet been
piyen.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

THE retirement of Gambetta from Off
cial life and assumption of the duties OF
an editor is looked upon by the Albany
Journal as promotion-increasing the
size OF his audience.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

The fact seems to be just published
that Cincinnati came ont something like
eleven thousand dollars behind with her
Exposition of 1881.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

MARVIN, the man with fifteen wives,
made an Intellectual attempt to escape
from the Virginia penitentiary a few
days ago. He perhaps had heard Of an
other woman who who wanted 70 get
psFEied.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A NUMBER Of State Legislatures have
passed resolutions calling up Congress
to do something toward the obliteration
Of polygamy in Utah.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

BETWEEN the 1st of March and the lst
of July next the commission Of over 300
postmasters will expire-many in large
cities. They are appointed for periods
Of four and eight years.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

AT ONE time Mr.. Bradlaugh refused
to take the oath Of office in the English
House of Commons because, he said, the
oath would be meaningless to him.
Now that he has signifed willingness
to take the oath, in order to retain his
seat, the House has refused bya strong
majority to permit him to do 50.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

THE wedding out of incompetent
clerks in tho Treasury Department has
caused another rush of ollice-seekers to
Washington.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A CONVICT in the Mississippi Peniten.
tiary was killed by one Of the guards,
and the Court has awarded his wife ST.
400 damages.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

The use Of charred bran for preserving
delicate fruit while on the road to mark
et bids fair TO solve the problem which
has SO long perplexed some millers;
Converted into charcoal, the light aud
slippery product OF the mills ceases to
be unmanageable; and it is quite likely
that large local demand for charred
bran viii arise in the vicinity Of most
mills, for packing not only quickly
perishable fruits like peaches, plums
and grapes, but also apples and other
firmer fruits, for storage as well as trans
portation.
A Bosros artist discovered an ancient,
moss-grown, vice-clad stone mill IN
Maine. and sat down to sketch it, much
TO his own delight. as well as to that Of
tbe owner. When night fell he had his
sketch half done, and the next morning
he returned TO finish it. Meanwhile,
the owner had ''tidied up" the place BY
, erubbing up the vines, scraping OIL the
moss and giving the stones fine coat oi
whitewash. -
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A VACCINE farm, capable Of turning
out 5000 points daily, has been es-
tablished near Chicago, and is doing a
thrifty business.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

Ir IS safe to refuse silver dollars bear
ing the date of 1943. A dangerous
counterfeit of that date is in circulation,
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

JUDGES Cox and Burnet, Of Cincin-
NATL after fifteen years service, have re-
tired from the District Court.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

THE Wisconsin Legislature has adopted
resolutions calling on Congress to
eradicate Mormonism by legislation.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

The wilderness in which the crew of
DE Longs boat are held, is eighty miles
in extent.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

LORD GRANvI1IE has taken grounds
in favor Of preserving the Clayton-Bul-
wer treaty.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

The new Garfield postage stamp will
be issued in few days.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

IT SEEMS that the widow Of General
Custer has no pension. She paints
plaques for living.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

QUEEN Victoria, by the advice Of her
physician. goes iacognita to Mentone in
March.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

NIAGARA FAILS is trying to get the
contemplated Worlds Fair.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

LOUISVILLE is shortly to make an eff
fort to found an art gallery.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

GENERAL HANCOCK has purchased a
large tract Of land in Minnesota.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

IT SEEMS Mr.. Gladstone is still some
what down on the Land League.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

The Insurgents in Yemen, Arabia,
have proclaimed descendant of the
Prophet of Caliph.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

Az EXCHANGE says that Oscar Wilde is
like Balaams ass because he was made
"too utter"
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

WHEAT in Southern Illinois is reported
in an unusually hattering condition.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

THE organization of Produce Ex-
change is being urged in Cincinnati.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24
TOPICS OF THE DAT.

The price of stoves promises to go
I'm
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

OSCAR WILDE has come out with
statement. 1t is this: "The newspapers
Of America are perfectly outrageous.
Correct. He further says: "The men
and women of America are splendid.
Correct again. The men and women
are not to blame for the newspapers. lis
tie nasty little type.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

DIP Sullivan ever tackle the fighting
editor of a first class newspaper? Well !!
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

"NTA, WHAT'S a sweet, sugar-coated
little angel pill?" asked Williamsport
boy Of his mother at breakfast the other
day. 81 declare, Willie, don't know, "
was the laughing reply. Where did
Won ever hear such an odd expression as
that?" "Oh, heard pa telling Mary
that in the hall, last night, when you
was over to Mrs. BIS" The ''sweet
sugar-coated little angel pill" was dis
charged the next day Wiiliansporf
Breakfast Table,
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A FLASH Of lightning made an Ohio
boy cross-oyed, but one day when his
mother boxed his ears his eyes flew back
10 their old positions and he was made
50 happy that he tainted away,
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A LETTER from an Alaska missionary
gives particulars of the torture of whole
families for witchcraft and other particu-
lars, which indicate that the SUPER
titiou inhabitants of our Northwestern
POI X sinns stand in considerable need
Of school teachers and a humane society.
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

A LIBATlos is better than potation I;
vine is often better split than drunk,
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

AT what season did Eve eat the apple2
Early in the fall,
The Magnolia gazette., 1882-02-24

\ sOusrs n Ven lines q soma psuisa.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09

AT Varzia, when medical attendance is
needed, the physician, also an allopath,
in the adjacent town of Schlawe is APP
piled to. When at Kissengen the Prince
consults the well known Diruf, also an
adherent of the old school. At Berlin, how
ever, he inclines to homeopathic
as well as the whole of his family, are
regularly attended by the Sanitary
Councillor. DIR. Swingenberg, one OF the
most noted representatives of hom9-
opathy in Berlin. Nevertheless lat all
events before 1S70), the Chancellor
also frequently consulted the present
Director of the Imperial Sanitary Blu
reau, DR.. Struck (allopath). At pres
ent Dr. Swingenberg seems to be the
Chancellor's only medical adviser, who
visits the patient twice day, and has
frequently been sent for from Varzin as
well as Friedricksruh. Previously
Prince Bismarck had put himself in the
hands of the late DIR. Vehsmeyer, and
before him in those of DR.. Kleinsch-
midi, occasionally also DIR. Martens, all
of them homeopathists. The Prince has
frequently expressed the opinion that he
is less concerned about the mode of treat
ment than about the result of the same.
At times he goes so far as to insist upon
being restored to thealth and activity
within a specified time; if his physician
succeeds in this the Prince is content
but rarely ever has word of apprecia-
ton for the brilliant achievements OF his
medical attendants. Thus it will be
seen that the Iron Chancellor, even in
private life, stands on as completely
realistic a ground, and calculates as
realistically concerning his health, as he
does in his peculiar policy" 81 Ameri-
can Register of Paris.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09
Bismarck rs a Patient.

It may be interesting to many of our
readers, Gays the Berliner Tagblatt, to
take look ct the most powerful states
man of the age, the "Iron" Chancellor,
on his weak side, namely as patient.
The Princes chief trouble, a. is we'll
known, is a painful nervous affection,
which the physicians call "sciatica, and
which they greatly dread on account of
its obstinscy. Besides this. the Chan
cellor suffers at times from an indamma-
tory swelling Of the veins in the feet, and
like all other inortals, occasionally from
lighter indispositions--colds and indi-
gestion. 1t seems that the patient is as
inconsistent regarding the methods OF
his treatment as he is in other matters.
With sthe same feeling OF absolute in
difference" which, according to his own
words. he manifosts IN certain political
topics, he also deals with the exigenoies
Of the medical science. Homeopathy or
allopathy il al one 10 him = long ~
be believes one or the other will cure
him. II has even happened that be al
lowed himself 10 be treated BY IN allopa-
THO physiCiAn and soon after by homm-
pothist. when q Friedriohsruh he
sonds for Privy Sanitary Councillor DR..
Dohn Of Hamburg. Who y ~ allopath.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09

Portsmouth Tribune: At the request
Of President Arthur, the coal CRATES have
been taken out of nine freplaces in the
White House. The interior is arched
with polished soapstone and framed with
futed brass, and furnished with all the
conveniences for burning wood. The
President knows the pleasure OF wood
fire in the house, but he says he never
has fished or hunted. and hence, perhaps,
has never enjoyed the delights OF sitting
at camp fire in the woods Of an Octo--
Der night, and watched the blaze crawl
and sputter around the big "back log"
and listen to the hftul wind IS it waited
the aroma Of fallen leaves among the
troes.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09

Garrison repairs all kinds of sewing machines
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09
FOUND AT LAST.
A Positive and Never Failing Cure for Rheu-
matism, Neuralgia and Gout.

Hundreds of testimonials given to DR.. Henley un-
solicited, in his possession from his towns
men, living right here among us, testifyfng to the
wonderful curative powers of his Rheumatic Neu-
trslzer. Dr. Henley refers only to the testimonials
given by well known parties in our midst and never
relies on far off and unknown individuals, as sup
porting, what he claims to be true of his Rheumatic
Neutralizer that is it will any of Rheuma-
tism in existence. The doctor long since discovered
the folly of applying external remedies for disease
that has its seat in the deepest channels of the
blood and therefore set to work to discover rem
edy for Rheumatism, and mankind may rejoice in
his Rheumatic Neutralizer.
DEFINITION ON RHEUMATISM.
If you have a thorn or splinter in your finger and
you put on Chloroform some other drug, you
stop the sensihility of pain for time only The
thorn is still there and as the effect of the
drug dies away the pain returns In order to get rid
the pain you must have that thorn pucked out of
the fesh. That is precisely the same way with
Rheumatism: you might rub on the skin some drug
to stop the pain for a little time, but the pain is
sure to return the effect of the drug dies
away. Now it has been proven beyond the slightest
doubt that Rheumatism is in the deepest Channels
of the Blood and that there is other way to reach
it only through the Blood. This has been demon
strated right here in Portland by dozens of people
that have been cured by DR.. Henleys Rheumatic
Neutralizer. That 1t is the only Medicine that has
Ever Reached the case and made Lasting and Per-
manent Cures In fact, the only true principal for
Graduating Rheumatism from the system is through
the Blood 1t is pack of nonsense to attempt any
other method, that is, if you would wish Perrna-
nent and Lasting Cure,
The Doctor has come to the conclusion, after
twenty-five years travel and close investigation that
the Liver has great deal to do with Rheumatism.
man or woman with good sound Liver seldom or
ever has any pains aches. The Doctor has got up
Concentrated Liver Pill, one pill for dose. One
of these Pills has more effect in rousing the torpid
Liver than gross of other Pills. By all means
the Concentrated Liver Pills in connection with the
Neutralizer.
OFFICE: 203 Third street. near Taylor, Portland
HODGE, DAVIS d co., Wholesale Agents.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-09
The man Who Was warned

During the uncertain days following
the close of the war there were certain
localities in the South where man who
had grudge against neighbor got rid
of him by writing him an anonymous
letter warming him to leave the State
inside of ten days or prepare to fill a
grave over which no one would feel
particularly interested in keeping the
grass green. One day Colonel Blank,
who had removed to Arkansas from
Southern Michigan and was attending
strictly to his business, received such q
missive 1t was the rule to turn pale as
death, rush home and pack up, sell out
or nothing and skedaddle on the wings
of chain lightning, but the Colonel did
not follow it. It struck him that he knew
the handwriting and he went home and
buckled ON knife and revolver and took
a ride of three miles into the country.
He dismounted at the cabin of long
haired, long-legged old swamp owl,
named Patterson, who was in the back
yard mending o harness. The Colonel
approached him within three feet, and
after they had seated and discussed the
state of the weather, the Michigander re-
marked:
Patterson, I am going to leave Ar
kansas"
"Shoo! Anything wronge"
"Ive been warned away"
"You don't say!'
"I've been given five days to leave the
State"
"And you calkerlate you will go?"
"Yes, I'll have to go or be waylaid or
hung up"
"Yes, reckon that's so, chuckled the
old man.
"But I want to take something with
me to remember Arkansas by, continued
the Colonel, 'and 1 came out after your
scalp"
MY what?"
"Sit still, old man, or I'll bore you
through! That's it-up with your
hands! If go back to Michigan and tell
em was warned out of Arkansas, and
that got up and busted without firing a
shot, they'll call me coward. If carry
your scalp back I've got something to
show for the two years I've put in here
and the $1,000 I've laid out. Old man, if
you know the Lords prayer you'd better
repeat it quick, for I'm in dreadful
hurry to get hack"
"Say, Kurnel, don't you like the ken
toy down kere?' asked Patterson.
Eyes"
SIS the climate all right?"
First rate"
"Chance to make money!"
Good chance"
"Then. Kernel, don't go back! don't
keer two cents about my scalp, but some
how I've got attached te you, and it will
rip up all my tender feelings to see you
go Let my old scalp stay right whar'
she is. and you stay right whar' you be,
and if any Of the boys look cross-eyed at
you fur the next ten years I'm kyote II
/ don't drive EN- into Mexico or make
em lose themselves in the ground"
The Colonel is down there yet, aud old
Patterson never meets him without
anxiously inquiring il he's got over be-
ing homesick yet.