davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
BUYING A GUN.

A country gentleman came into
store the other day and wanted to
buy shot gun. The proprietor siz-
ed up his customer in a general man.
ner, thoueht he had struck just the
right man ON whom to work off some
old stock. The farmer thought he
never met a man who was so genial
and affable, and became so much in
love with the store-keeper that he
nearly decided not to leave the prem
ises, but to remain to enjoy the So
ciety of his entertainer.
He had been looking at a piece of
ordnance appraised at $6.75, when
the store-keeper reached back into
the corner and brought forth another.
''This gun isn't worth so much as
that you have in your hand" said he
"It looks little better, but it was
only gotten up to sell. Appearances
are deceitful, you know, and travel
ing through this vale of tears you
have to look closely to your steps.
/ just showed you this gun, which I
sell by the dozen for five dollars
piece, to teach you how you might be
deceived. 1t looks a superior arti-
Gle to this one for S6.75 but, you
can't do near the execetion with it
that you can with the latter, and be-
sides, man with your culture and
general intelligence don't want to be
fooling away his time with pop that
won't knock a red squirrel off sap
ling. This $675 article is more suit
ed to the demands of your nature"
and the dealer smiled his sweetest.
"Did you say that five dollar gun
would not shoot worth anything 2"
inquired the customer.
II did. I've tried it, and it is
fraud. | only keep it to show up
better goods with. l never got
cheated on a gun but once and that
was the time / bought that gun
sit amt especially dangerous then
is it,"
"Well l should say not. l shot a
tramp between the shoulders with it
one day up at home and he came and
sat down on the door step and asked
my mother-in-law to scratch his back.
Gun looks good enough, but l don't
want to sell it to you. 1t won't shoot
hard enough to blow the wadding out
of the barrel.''
"Well, l never. Say! are you
telling me the truth ?"
Gospel truth. You ought to
know me we'll enough to understand
that l don't lie about my goods =
eyes, exactly. I'm glad to hear
it. Here's your five dollars. Glad
l came here. Can't stay long you
know, for my wife's holding the
horses outside. | don't care how
mean the gun is for l want to give it
to my sisters boy, and l don't want
him to have an article that's liable to
90 off and kill him. Don't think 1
could have found as mild-tempered a
weapon anywhere else, do you?
Good day." and he was gone.
The merchant stepped out to the
edge of the walk as the wagon rolled
off up the muddy street, and gazed
after it long and anxiously, then
turned and came back into the store
and re-arranged the cases. He didn't
seem excited or grit his teeth or
swear, but sometimes a calm and I'M
ruffied exterior may hide a world of
woe, and it may be sometime before
the merchant will show a guileless
granger twenty dollar gun for one
fourth its value simply to furnish him
information about the relative merits
of sporting apparatus.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

BE HAPPY.-1t Is the easiest thing
in the world to be happy, if men and
women could only think so. Hap
piness is only another name for love,
for where love exists in a household
there happiness must also exist, even
though it has poverty for its close
companion where love exists not,
even though it be a palace, happi-
ness can never come. He was a
cold and selfish being who originated
the sayiug that "when poverty comes
in at the door, love flies, out of the
window" and his assertion proves
conGlpsiyely that he has no knowledge
of love, for unquestionaDly the re-
verse of the axiom quoted is nearer
the truth. When poverty comes in
at the door, love-true love-is more
than ever inclined to tarry, and do
battle with the enemy, Let those
who imagine themselves miserable,
before they find fault with their sur
roundings, search in their hearts for
the cause. A few kind words, a lit
tie forhearance, or kiss, will open
the way to food of sunshine in a
house darkened by the clouds of dis
cord and unamiability.-Ea.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

GREAT BLESSING TO Mo1HEEs AxD NURsEs-
''swayne's Teethins Cure for infInts Ibis new
Theory and infallble remedy has saved the lives Of
thousands of children. When The child IS in pain OF
restless with its teeth shooting in lis gums simply
rub the gums for two three minutes with the
Cure" What little il may swallow will relieve the
collie, pain aud natulenee pre-, eut fever and avoid
that PAINFUL Operation Of laneing TIE gums. which
always makes the next tooth harder come through
and sometimes eaases death. Depend upon il. moth
ers. win give rest to yourselves and immediate ,elef
and health 10 your infants. very able medical
wrtterwho enjoys large aud lucrative practice says:
rubbing the gums with soothing lotion IS the only
true method for children teeIhiis. POISONOUS drugs
should never be introduced their delicate siom-
aehs. "swasne's Teelhins Cure" PREPARED only Ly
Dr. swayne Son. Philadelphia aud sold by all Lead
Ing apotheearies at 25 cents hottie
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
A CONTRAST.

Youth is like joyous feet,
Sailing when the dawn is sweet,
Bounding past the harbor bar,
Shouting to the morning star.
Round the merry world it flies.
Seeking deeds Of high emprise,
With the happy full dsdain
That ne'er com es in life again.
JOY! the world is wide and sweet;
Joy! the sea no end it hath;
Youth is like joyous feet,
With the sunlight on its path.
Age is like harbor vast,
Whittier all must come at last,
All who on the tide of life
Have not foundered in the strife.
Some are only dismal wrecks.
Ruined lives on ghostly decks;
Some. oh joy! with peaceful gales
Filling all their happy sails.
All have feared the ocean vast,
All have thought the haven far:
Well for those that rest at last
Safe within the harbor bar!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
BROKEN TOYS.

found my baby girl to-day
Asleep upon the floor.
The space around her little form
With playthiugs scattered DER.
Her hands were nestled meath her chin,
And one still firmly held
A broken toy. whose novel charm
AS yet was rndispelled-
There fingered still about the mouth
And on the brow a trace
OF thought half griev'd and half perplex'd,
AS if the tiny face
Already had begun to learn
The look it was to wear
In years to come. I stopped to kiss
Away the mimic care,
! And as laid her, still asleep.
Within her nest-like bed,
And smoothed the cradles pillow for
The little weary head,
1 thought how we of larger growth.
When tired of pains and joys,
With that same look. fell fast asleep
Amid our broken toys!
And then the Father. stopping, takes
The tired head to his breast;
And smooths the furrow from the brow,
And bears us to our rest.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
BROWNS MATRIMONIAL
METHOD.

''Brown, don't see how it is that
your girls marry off as soon as they
get old enough while none of mine
can marry.
'Oh! that's simple enough. l
marry my girls off on the buck
wheat straw principle"
''But what is that principle? I
never heard of it before. -
"Well, l used to raise good deal
of buckwheat, and it puzzled me to
know how to get rid of the straw.
Nothing would eat it, and it was a
great bother to me. At last /
thought of a plan. | stacked my
buckwheat straw nicely and built Il
high rail fence around it. Ny cat
tie, of course, concluded that it was
something good, and at once tore
down the fence and began to eat the
straw. | dogged them away aud
put up the fence few times, but the
more | drove them away, the more
anxious they became to eat the
straw. After this had been repeated
a few times the cattle determined to
eat the straw, and eat it they did,
every bit of it. As / said, | marry
my girls off on the same principle.
When a young man that | don't like
begins calling on my girls | encour-
age him in every way | can. | tell
him to come often and stay as late
as he pleases, and | take no pains to
hint to the girls that | think they'd
set their caps for him. 1t work first
rate. He don't make many calls.
for the girls treat him as coolly as
they can. But when young fellow
that like comes around. man that
| think will suit me for son-in-law.
[ don't let him make many calls be-
fore give him to understood that he
isn't wanted around my house. l
tell the girls, that they shall not have
anything to do with him, and give
them orders never to speak to him,
again. The plan works first-rate.
The young folks begin to pity each
other, and the next thing | know
they are engaged to be married.
When [ see that they are determined
to marry, [ always give in and pre-
tend to make the best of of it.
That's the way l manage it,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

chance to breathe for the first time
in three hours as we form a line and
lie down. What grim, cool fellows
those cannoneers are Every man
is a perfect machine. Bullets splash
dust in their faces, but they do not
vince. Bullets sing over and around
but they do not dodge. There goes
one to the earth, shot through the
head as he sponged his gun. The
machinery loses just one beat, misses
just one cog in the wheel, and then
works away again as before.
Every gun is using short fuse shell.
The ground shakes and trembles, the
roar shuts out all sounds from bat
tie line three miles long, and the
shells go shrieking into the swamp to
cut trees short off, to NOW great gaps
in the bushes, to hunt out and shat
ter and mangle men until their corp
ses cannot be recognized as human.
You would think tornado was howl
ing the forest, followed by pillows of
fire, and yet men live through it
aye, press forward to capture the
battery. We can hear their shouts
as they form for the rush.
Now the shells are changed for
grape and canister, and the guns are
fired so that reports blend together
in one mighty roar The shrek of
shell is the wickedest sound of war,
but nothing makes the flesh crawl
like the demoniac, singing, purring,
whistling grape-shot and the serpent
like hiss of canister. Mems heads
and legs are torn from bodies and
bodies cut in two. A round shot or
shell takes two men out of the rank
as it crashes through. Grape and
canister NOW swath and pile the
dead on top of each other.
Through the smoke we see a swarm
of men. 1t is not like battle line,
but mob of men desperate enough
to bathe their bayonets in the fame
of the guns.
The guns leap from the ground,
almost, as they are depressed on the
foe, and shrieks and screams and
shouts blend into one awful and
steady ely. Twenty men out of the
battery are down and the firing is in
terrepted. The foe accept it as
sign of wavering and come rushing
on. They are not ten feet away
when the guns give them last shot.
That discharge picks living men off
their feet and hurles them into the
swamp, blackened, bloody mass.
Up now, the enemy are among the
guns There is a silence of ten Sec
onds and then the flash and roar of
more than 5000 muskets and rush
forward with the bayonts. For
what? Neither on the left, nor on
the right, nor in front of us is a liv-
ing foe! There are corpses around
us which have been struck by
three, four, and even six bullets, and
nowhere on this acre of ground is a
wounded mau. The wheels of the
guns cannot move until the blockade
of dead is removed. Men cannot
pass from caisson to gun without
climbing over winrows ofdead. Ev-
cry gun and wheel is smeared with
blood. Every foot of grass has its
horrible stain.
Historians write of the glory of
war. Burial parties saw murder
where historians saw glory.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

Remember that you are but an ac-
tor, acting whatever part the Master
has ordained. 1t may be short or it
may be long. If he> wishes you to
represent poor man, do so heartily
If cripple, or magistrate or pri-
vate man, IN each case act your part
with honor.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

REMARKABLE CoINcIDENcE.-It is a matter of
journalistic record that years since, schooner
set sail from Baltimore. having board crew of
thirteen men. By most singular freak of nature
the entire force attacked by skin disease which
manifested itself in large liberated sores on the aims
and hands, wholly incapacitatng the from duty.
The result that the vessel was towed back to the
city where the men were placed in The hospital
Moral Had Swayne's Ointment for skin diseases
been used in The first place. the would have Ie-
covered in from l2 TO "a hours
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

A fond mother said to her little
son, ''Tommy, my dear, am goiug
to give you little companion soon.
Which would you prefer little
boy or a little gfrls'' ''Well, moth
er," replied Tommy, ''if it is the
same to you | would rather have
little donkey"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

FEAR Nor All kidney and urinary complaints es-
pecally Brights disease diabetes and liver troubles
Hop Btters will surely and lastingly cure. Cases ex-
actly like your own have been cured in your own
neighborhood. and you find reliable proof at home
Of what Hop Bitters has aud can do.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

~ q y Great chance to make money. Those
| TAIH who always take advantage of the good
~ SAN chances for making money that are of
fered generally become wealthy while
those who do not improve such chances remain in
poverty We want many men, women, boys and girls
to work for US right in their own localities ANY one
can do the work properly from the first start. The
business will pay than ten times ordinary wages
Expensive outfit furnished free. No who engages
fails to make money rapidly. You can devote your
whole time to the work. only your spare moments.
Full information and all that is needed sent Free
Address STINsoN Co.. Portland, Maine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

Clear head and voice, easy breathing, breath.
perfect SMELL taste and hearing cough distress.
These conditions brought about in catarrh by the
use of sanfOrd's Radical Cure Complete treatment
for 81.
Terrible itching and scaly humors ulcers, sores and
scrOfulous swelings cured by the Cucura and Cuti-
Soap he great skin cures externally ana Cuti-
Resovent blood purlfer) internally Ask about
them at your druggists.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

How TO SAvE.-An hard workers are subject to
bilious attacks which may end in dangerous Illness.
Parkers Ginger Tonic will keep the kidneys and liver
active and by preventing the attack save much sick
ness. loss of time and expense Delay at such times
means danger.-Dsiroit Press. See Other column
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

The only iron preparation that does not blacken the
teeth and will not cause headache constipation as
other preparations will, is Browns Iron Hi.seys
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

II yon wish to purify the blood, make nee use OF
Wheat RitteEs." Its an economical physician
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15

BEAUTY REGAINED.-The beauty and color OF the
hair may be safely regained by using Parkers Hair
Balsam, which is much admired for perfume clean
illness and dandrnff eradicatina nrnnerties
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
Orleans County Wonitor,
PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY
GEO. H. BLAKE.
PARTON VT
BARTON, VT.

Enthusiastically in ddpdnce, $l.50 per annum. slf
not paid in advance $500 year. Subscribers living
outside of Orleans County must remit 10 cents extra
for postage. For convenience in renting, we will
give credit for one year and four months for s. co. to
subscribers in the county and year and three for
$500 to subscribers without the county, when sent
strictly an ddrdnce.
RATES OF ADVERTISING made known on applca-
tion. All cuts must have metal body
Remit by P. O. Money Order, Registered Letter. or
Draft. Watch the label your paper and notice
when your subscription expires and see that your
payments are kept in advance. When money is sent
us we shall give you the credit the label at once
if the label is not advanced within two weeks notify
US by postal card.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
A Lady Cured of Rheumatism.
Heart Disease.

Vine St., Harrisburg, Pa.
Dec. 2, 1881.
After trying different physicians
and many remedies for palpitation
of the heart without receiving any
benefit, l was advised to try Browns
Iron Bitters. ! have used two bot
ties and never found anything that
gave me so much relief.
Mrs. JENNIE HESS.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-05-15
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

CT. PERCIVAL,
HEALER IN FURNITURE, COFFlNS AND
- Caskets, Barton, VT.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19

A Pullman car porter has been telling a
st. Louis reporter about tho earnings OF
the employees on those cars. Drumncrs
are liberal, young married men are good,
women are very bad, millionaires worst.
" had a sad illustratration Of that a cou ple
Of week ago. Colonel Gillette, Ia million
aire mine owner travelling with Bonanza
Mackey), gave INC adollar. lie said, with
4 terrible stutter, ut WINS all the CHI. change
he had It. was somewhat OF a blow, but
went in and got Mr.. Mackey out for his
brush. He fumbled round among lot OF
keys and finally lished out fifty cents. By
links! | was mad, but couldn't say auy.
thing. It's so with most rich men. There's
Governor Tabor, he's about US good rs any
Of EN-, but he never gives mo more than Il
dollar. There's Senator Jones; he went to
Demins once with me and gave me s.. On
the other hand Senator Fair, who is fifty
times richer than Jones, they say, came up
once and he only 4 ave me 81. He was
nice about. it, llougll-spoke so kind
and told me not to spend my money fool.
ish!y. Politicians, when they get money,
are mighty good. There's Dorsey, the Star
route man: When lie goes down to his
ranch he always gives me IL handful OF sill
ver-don't stop TO count it. The worst OF
all are old ladies, who want bugs and par.
GELS carried, but never give aught but
thanks; in these, however, they arc gener.
ally numerous
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19
A kure Cure FIR piles.

A sure cure for Blind Bleeding, Itching aud
liberated Files has been discovered by DR..
William, ian Indian remedy called Dr.. vii.
liam's Indian Ointment. K single box has
cured the worst chronic cases OF twenty-five
years standing. No one need suffer five min.
utes after applying this wonderful soothing
medicine. Lotions aud instruments do more
harm than good. Williams Ointment ab.
serbs the tumors, allays the intense itching,
particularly at night after getting warm III
bed, acts rs a poultlcc, gives instant and
painless relief, and Is prepared only for Piles,
itching Of the private parts, and for nothing
else, "a .
For sale by all druggists and mailed on re.
cept OF price, 81 90.
For sale by J. +. shirk, Logan 4 Co.. also
Chas. Moenkemoeller, Wheeling, and r. X.
McConahey, bridgeport, 0. pAw
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19
.MOLASSES,

We opine that these goods have reached
bottom figures, and we cordially invite the
inspection OF the trade as they are the finest
goods TINT have ever been offered in this
market.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19
a I'nttl, Cure.

Medical Cure.
Sir Humphrey Dayy, when young man,
had m experience which serves to illus.
trate the nature OF healing by faith. Davy
was employed by DR.. Bedloes, who had
MI cxtravagant theory ofthe curative power
Of oxygen TO administer tho gas 10 certai,,
patients. Among those WHO came 10 be
treated was a paralytic. Before beginning
the Inhalation Dayy placed Il thermometer
under the patients tongue to record his
temperature. The main was much impressed
with this and declared with much en.Lu.
siasm that he was already much relieved.
Seeing the extraordinary influence OF the
mans imagination, Davy did nothing moro
than sravely place tue thermometer under
his tongue from day to dizzy, and in short
time he reported cured. q
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19

4o'sl ono Reward will be paid to any Chem.
Il, who will Anh on annlyslS Of 100 bottles Of g.,
4. s., oncIartlcle oi Mercury Iodide Of Potassium,
az auy Miaefal substance. SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19
A Knnbc In the White House.

FrODi VIC 1NltIuUtC Nmtttnh. 7-"T -7TH77V-T q
There was seen yesterday at Messrs. Knabe
just finished By them Tor The pres,dentiai
mansion. President Arthur, who is thor.
ough connoisseur of music, in selecting d
piano for tue White House, decided in favor
Of the knabe Piano rs his preference, and Or.
dcred accordingly tho instrument referred
to. 1t Is u concert grand, Of beautiful finish,
in . richly carved rosewood case, and Of
superb tone aud action-an instrument
worthy IN every respect Of the place It Is 10
occupy. It was shipped 10, its-destinatiou
yesterday, +"'' :tf&5 p4w
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19
Rusln eSs IicfOre Pleasure.

AtkAnsaw Tmvelct. ..a ",.-a
The average Arkanslw editor rarely fails
to consult the intellectual tastes Of Ibis
readers. The other dayl the Slick Rock
Muscle, weekly paper Of well known
ability and great political influence, con.
tained the.tollowing: "Our wife who has
been our companion and assistant for
years, died day before yesterday, and we
would give our numerous readers IN In.
tcIestinv account Of her life and public
services, together with Il great obituary no.
tice expressive Of our grief, but Ms we have
10 condense aud crowd In as much election
news rs possible this week We must Crap.
pie business md dispense with pleasure
until next week." .I.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19

The six cities in Massachusetts which
voted last week NIL gave majorities for H.
cense, the total vote being 5G,057, and the
majority in favorof license, 1915. Fifteen
cities, which voted last week for license,
sl,3o3 votes; against it, lG,6+S, Il majority
for license of 1855. Last year, with twenty
cities voting, tue total vote on this ques.
ton was about 1000 greater, and the ina.
jority Tor license about half as lnrge. Last
year eight Giles voted against license and
twelve tor it. This year five voted against
and sixteen for license. -,a5
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19
"I.AtiicS I'OIltc.0

The Great Female Remedy is prepared by
the Women's Medical Institute OF Buffalo
MY, and Is their iayorite prescription iol
ladies' who are suffering from any weakness
Or complaints common To the sex, II ia
sold by druggists at $1.oO per bottle. Ladies
Tan obtain advice free. Send ystamp, for
names oil those who have been cured. -
At wholesale and retail by Logan e. Co.,
Whe ing, W, Va, s.S5.,' nav
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-12-19

When all other remedies fail DR.. FEAzrEE's
fooT BlrrgEs will cure General Debility,
Loss OF Appetite, Dyspepsia, and all diseases
arising from Disordered Stomach, Liver
and Kidneys.
For several months have been afflicted
with Fever and Aguc. For weeks ut n time
| was confined 10 the house, my suffering
was intense. could find 10 relief until i
heard OF your Root Bitters. I have taken
the Root Bitters for two weeks and they have
'estored me to my former health.
-r- "a. JOHN ROLAND, Cleveland, 0.
For sale by J. +. shirk. Logan Il Co., also
Chas. Moenkemoeller, Wheeling, and K. X.
McConaiey, bridgeport pAw