The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-07-30

They say there Is man in Gunnison
county only twenty-siX years old who
has killed twenty-sevcn men already. 1t
- very rare that young physician at
tains a practice like that at the age OF
twenty-six.
When certain prince of Salm-Salm
came during the civil war 10 offer his
sword TO the federal government, his
title puzzled Mr., Seward psalm
Psalm!' he exclaimed, where does he
come FROM" perhaps from Sing
Sing" said the person addressed,
Gen. Grants son-in-law, Algernon
Sartoris, is TO swim a race with another
man on the Thames in June for 81 900
side. And yet some persons feared
when Nellie Grant married Sartoris
that she was getting mere nobody. 49,
The young man, it appears, has talent.
A member Of the rhetorical class in a
certain college had just finished his
defamation when the professor said;
"Mr, -, do you suppose general
would address his soldiers in the man
ner you spoke that piece?' Eyes, sir, |
do,' was the reply, "if he was half
scared to death. "
1t is well known that NJ. Legouve,
who is such master Of reading, writes
detestably-a hand like inky ly-tracks
A lady said, speaking of him TO one of
his colleagues Wonderful reader, NJ
Legouye, eh?' Wonderful? cali him
supernatural; he can even read his own
handwrit'ngm
A cruel but esthetic father was in the
habit Of beating his children "black and
blue before the arrival Of Oscar Wilde
in this country. Now he hammers
them until they are "grcenery-yallery'
Oscar has succcedee in including a love
for the beautiful cen in the savage
breast
"Are You going to take that ugly pug
dog with you again, Carrier" asked
Charles. II really believe YOU take
him simply TO make yourself look pref
tier by the contrast Don't be jeal-
Gus Of poor Pug, Charley, replied Car
rio. "I'll take you some time when |
want to look especially handsome.
A contemporary asks, How shall wo-
men carry their purses to Illustrate the
thieves? Why, carry them empty
Nothing illustrates thief more than to
snatch woman's purse, after following
her half mile, and then find that ii
contains nothing hut receipt for spiced
peaches aud faded photograph OF her
grandmother
A man living near Burlington, Vt,
recently got divorced from his wife,
whom he now employs rs hired girl, but
he can't see what he gains by the opera
ton. She demands 80 week, the
washing sent out, three nights and an
afternoon of, besides the privilege Of
having company in the kitchen, and now
threatens to leave if he does not intro
duce into the house all the modern inn
prOvements.
The fact is, said the seedy tramp.
81 have read so much about the troubles
in the labor market, that | am heartily
sick OF the whole business. and / made
up my mind long ago that would new
or have any thing to do with labor. AS
] am man who never forsakes his
principles, | cannot work but if you
have nice rare steak and cup Of hot
coffee about the premises, I'll devote a
few moments to their demolition
A St. Louis editor accidentally re-
ceyed in his morning mail proof-sheets
intended for the employs of religious
publication house, and, after CHANGING
over them rushed TO the city editor,
yelling. why in the world didn't you
get report of that big food? Even that
slow old religious paper across the way
is ahead of you. Send out your force
for full particulars-only one family
saved Interview the old man. His
name is Noah
The stage of a Western theatre took
fire the other evening, but a panic and
rush for the door was averted by the
manager, who, with great presence of
mind, slipped to the front and said,
Ladies and gentlemen, we have pre-
pared little surprise for you An i'm
mense kettle of whiskey-punch is now
being heated, and in few moments
waters will pass through the hall and
distribute il" After that the audience
had 10 be pulled out one by one.