Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-07-13
The Code Fully Explained.

The Code Fully Explained.
| "My DEAR" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
examining the baby's feet critically, to
see If they were both alike, s'my dear,
see that one of the strikers, or capital,
has been hurt; do you know the facts
about it?''
! Show hurt? what did it sayP" asked
Mr.. Spoopendyke, turning from the
glass and strapping his razor.
81 don't remember exactly, but he
went down to slaughter-house to get
something for his family and somebody
shot him in the legs
"That's the way it happened was it?"
demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke. grinning
through his lather. SHE didn't go to
his family for pair of legs and some
body shot him in the slaughter-house,
did he? Nor he didn't go down to his
legs for slaughter-house, and some
body shot him in the family! That
wasn't the way it read, was it?"
No-o-o, think not" replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, obviously. 'sI'm sure
it was something about slaughter
house and legs. DO you know how it
happened2"
Knocked Spoopendyke, pegging away at
his visage with the razor. eff hadn't
found out away from home I'd always
been puzzled about it, though. Two
gentlemen fought duel, and one got
shot. That's all there is to it,
"I knew ther'd be some trouble as
soon as read about those Strikes" con-
fidently continued Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"What's the strike to do with it?"
Moderated Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Think
he struck for another shotP Got a no.
ton he struck for more legs, haven't We?
1t would not have been bad idea,
that" soliloquized Mr.. Spoopendyke,
rather impressed with the combined
originality and utility of that class of
strike.
"Did he get shot in both legsP"
queried Mrs. Spoopendyke. sIt must
have been a cannon ball, or else he held
his legs in front of each other.''
THAT'S the way he did it, moaned
Mr.. Spoopendyke. ''They always do
that. When they are fighting a duel
they sit down like a tailor or Turk.
What dye think they fight with, forts9
Got some kind of vague idea that they
fight with line of battle ships? Who said
anything about cannon ballsp Pistols,
tell ye! They fought with pistols, and
one of them hit the other! Roll that in
formation around in your ten-acre intel
igence!''
Certainly" faltered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. "But tell me, dear, why should
one man shoot another for going to the
slaughter -house?''
"Holy herring!" calculated Mr..
Spoopendyke. 'He went there to get
shot. 1t was agreed upon. The man
who shot him had reflected on his hon
or, and he went there to satisfy it,
"And did it satisfy his honor to shoot
him in the legs?' asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke.
"That was as near as he could get to
it. [ tell you that when a man fights
duel he wipes out an insult, whether he
gets shot in the legs or the ear. 1t makes
no difference
81 should think it would" murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke. 'sIt would to me.
So his honor is all right now, is it?''
sOf course it ISL replied S2oopen-
dyke, wiping his face. "Suppose You
can reason ON the subject without any
further information from me?''
81 guess sou ruminated Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. GAS understand it, if mans
honor is hurt all he's got to do is to get
shot in the legs, though don't see why
he didn't shoot himself, unless it was
that he couldn't reach round"
"That's just the reason!" roared Mr..
Spoopendyke. she shot at himself in
the looking-g glass all the morning, and
couldn't make it work, so he hired
man to do it for him! 1t took your shot
tower intellect to see into it What you
want now is squint in one eye and
some dodgasted friends to interfere to
be revised edition of the measly code!
If you only had somebody to chalk off
six PAGES on you and squad of police
with bench warrant, you'd be a regu-
lar Bladensburg! Pm going out to
fight duel and get shot! Think you'd
understand it then? If 1 had bullet
through both legs, would you want any
more Information PSI
"No, dear,'' sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, and as her husband tossed his
shaving brush into the bahy's crib and
slammed out the door. she began to
think that man shouldn't keep his
honor in his legs if they couldn't take
better care of it.-Brookkyn Eagle.