The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1882-05-06
CITP BASKET


"a kind of Lily Pad as it were.
The telephone has developed an en-
tirely-new school Of hellocution.
Some one who has been there re-
marks that young author lives in an
attic because one is rarely able to live
on his first story.
All persons who invest money for
chances in turkey raffies are unani-
mously in favor of drawn as compared
with undrawn poultry.
The happiest disposition on record
is the Philadelphia woman who smiled
when told of her husbands death and
who firted with the undertaken at his
funernal
He had plugged a stick of wood
with powder and then carelessly put
it in his own stove But he didn't so
explain the affair "What's the use?"
he asked, ''Nobody would believe it,
anyhow"
1t is stated that persons under the
use of ether are prone to confess their
crimes. If this fact becomes known,
it will be impossible to inducs more
than one person in 10000 to take the
stuff.
"Ah," he exclaimed, as he pressed
her tenderly to him at parting, Shall
| hold you in these arms again to-mor-
row and paint our future with the
bright pigments of imagination ?"
''No, " she said calmly, mot to-mor-
row to-morrow's wash-day"
THE MAIDES'sA DyICE
Young Fred, a bashfui yet persistent swain,
Was very much in love with Mary Jane,
One night she told him, in her tender tone,
1T Is not good for man to be alone
Fred said, Just 50, you darling little elf
I've often thought Of that same thing myself"
Then said the lass while Fred Was all agog
You ought to buy yourself terrier dog"
A neighbor Of Mr.. Miggs glancing
out of the window, observed that esti-
mable man plugging up the knot-holes
in his back fence, and ventured to
ask ''Any hard feelings agin the
woman next door," "Non returned
Miggs placidly Mrs Ms got rheu-
matiz in the jaw, and the doctor says
she must keep quiet.
I'm not going to school any more, y
said a little 4-year-old boy to his
mamma, on his return from his first
day at the kindergarten. "Why, my
dear, don't you like to see the little
boys and girls ~ Yes, but don't
want TO go" PERSISTED the boy, "cause
my teacher says that tomorrow she's
going to try to put an idea into my
head"
The full term of three years had
nearly expired, and they were discuss
ing at the breakfast table the certain
ty that they must move and the I'M
certainty us to where, when the young
miss of the parsonage drew a heavy
sigh. Sympathizing father asks the
cause and she replies ooh, l was
thinking what mistake mother and |
made when we married Methodist
minister"
dad were you ever q fish," The
individual thus addressed lowered his
chin and gazed over his spectacles at
the boy i'll speeches. establishment
"Oh, don't get mad at me, dad, for
asking you, continued his inqusitive
offspring. Mrs. Cody came in after
YOU had gone yesterday, and asked
ma what she would do if you were
dead, and ma laughed and said she
guessed there was just as good salmon
IN the sea as you are"
"The country will always be safe,
says a contemporary, while her citi
zens continue to take an interest il
politics" This is true, and it is pleas
ant to observe that the interest of he
citizens in politics continue unabated
And what more patriotic picture coul(
one wish to look upon than that of :
man discussing the tariff question in ;
corner grocery, while his wife, st
home, down cellar, is rasping her fling
ers In splitting kindling-wood.
1t was a beautiful little rustic pile
the village church with 4 lecture
room in the basement One evening
a farmer of the neighborhood, VIII,
WAS driving by, observed the latte
apartment lighted up, and stopped t,
ask the reason why of young MAJ
who stood leaning against the gate
whats going on tonight ?" a con
versation of the married men of tn
congregation, was the answer
Found ont suthin' agin the minister
eh ?" ''1ov've rung the bell the frs
shot, old man" returned his inform