The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-09
ON THE BRIDAL TOUR.

the world the fact that they were but
newly married, 1t was the bride that
suggested the idea.
''Lovey," she said--she called him
Lovey because he was q big, overgrown.
broad-shouldered fellow who weighed
about one hundred pounds more than
herself "Lovey, why cxn't we act like
old married people while on our we'd
ding tour declare it will make me
feel uncomfortable to know that every
one is watching me. They do watch
brides, don't they"
yes believe they do" said Bur-
ney,
"Well, | don't think persons have a
right to be Watching every motion a
bride makes, and I'm sure don't want
them watching me- And then it would
be so much fun TO deceive them. | de-
clare it will be just splendid for us to act
like old married people while we are on
our wedding tour. Now we can, can't
we?n
"Why, yes, | suppose we can. Be-
fore others we can be grum and surly
towards each other"
80, no; don't let's act that way. If
you should speak cross to me I'd cry
know ! would"
But YOU must remember that I'm
| not in earnest The more surly we act
towards each other, the more we will
deceive people, and the greater fun we
| will have laughing about it when we are
alone.
Every WELL" said the bride. "Now
let's think how we will act Will lhave
to scold you occasionallyP
mo; why do you ask that?"
Because that's the way pa and ma act
when they are travelling. | declareits
sometimes half day before they eX-
change pleasant word. asked ma
what makes them act that way, and
she said she didn't know, but she sup
posed it was habit both had grown in
to-"
The following evening the soon-to- be
married couple spent two hours rehears-
nc a few ofthe many inciyilities so COM
mon among married people.
Nov" said Burney, "will you pre-
tend that sofa is a car seat? Yougo seat
yourself, and when ! come ans sit
alongside you, you must eXclaim in Il
loud voice, BE careful; you are rs
clumsy as II bear. Can't you sit down
without tearing my dress% "
1t took twenty minutes to get that
portion of the programme perfect. -
Neither of them appeared to be very
apt scholars, for as soon rs they We're
side by side they began hugging each
other As soon as one hug was ended
another was commenced, and this they
kept up for over fifteen minutes. Final
ly, Burney remembered it was married
life and not courtship that they ought
to be rehearsing, and decidedto 90 back
to the question before the house.
After the bride had learned how to
call her husband bear in q surly tone,
Burney proceeded to rehearse another
portion Of the programme he had mark
ed out
"After you are seated" he said, "if
the window is down, ask me to put it
up. You had better ask in whining
tone, and then I'll reply grufily, 90,
don't bother mel You are big enough ia
wait on ynnrsolf' If I'm reading, ask
me numerous questions. Every time
you do so I'll either not reply at all, or
else speak very snappishly. But don't
mind what say; keep on bothering
me, and III finally get up in an angry
mood and walk away and get another
seat. If we can carry on that part sue
cessfully, people will imagine we have
been married long enough to celebrate
our tin wedding"
yes" said the bride that will do
very we'll in the cars, but at the hotels
we can't pursue the same little schemes
The hotels are what dread the most,
We must have some scheme for keeping
the people there from knowing that we
are newly-married couple"
90" said Burney, that will be easy
enough. Whenever we 90 out l. Il slip
out one door and you slip out the other,
We can arrange meeting-place far
enough away to keep the people at the
hotel from getting down to our scheme.
And then at the table instead of motto
ing me you'll be looking at every other
woman in the room. Remember, dear,
il is at the table where most couples on
their wedding tours attract the most at
tention. We mustn't consult each other
about the bill Of fare, and we mustn't
order the same dishes I'll leave you to
shift entirely for yourself, and you must
appear not to concern yourself about
me. And, by the way, you mustn't
wear any bridal fncry."
80, dear, can't | wear that lovely
white bonnet I'm going to be married
imp
NO. that will at once proclaim you
to be bride"
"But do want to wear my bonnet
If | can't wear it on my wedding tour
| don't want the tour
After considerable talk, il was decid.
ed that the bride coald wear her lovely
white bonnet, but the bridal veil was to
be left at home.
Burney was married early in the
morning, and the happy couple were at
once whirled TO the Broad Street sta
ton to take u train for New York. Their
tickets We're already purchased, and they
passed direct tothe cars
"Now remember said Burney, rs
no seated his wife, remember that we
are to act as old married people. Don't
forget to growl when sit down"