South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-12-22


Yes, answered the grocer. There's
millions in IT,
Why are children like postage stamps9
Because You have to lick 'em 10 make
'em stick to their letters.
There is man in California who al.
ways has throe feet in bis boots. Each
foot is eighteen inches long.
why don't you literary men Get
rich9' asked lady of Bohemian. Il
don't know, he replied, unless it is that
dollars and sense never 60 together,
He fixed himself up at his very best,
hair parted in the centre. perfumed
handkerchief, very broad cuffs, very
high collar. very shiny silk hat, very
large seal ring, very striped pants, and
an overcoat that swung open, showing
delicate colored silk lining. He was
going down town to apply for Il stu
stion in commission house. Enter
ing the Office with abundant assuranre !:
Good morning, sir. I understand
there is vacancy Never fill a va
cancy with vacuum here. sir. Good
morning The merchant measured
him with one look. Tom Wedver.
A SATISFACTORY RESPONSE On Feb.
ruary % last the American flag upon
one of the United States naval vessels
al Newport, Rhode Island, was by mis-
take hoisted union down. The officers
OF the station, noticing the error, at
once telegraphed to headquarters at
Washington:
The ship is lying At ancho r
here, union down.
Headquarters. of course, saw the
joke, and ,elegraphed to tho officer ia
command Of the vessel:
Office ship ---is repor-
tad at anchor at Newport, union down.
Who's deady
Quick as thought. on reading the mes,
sage, the officer returned the reply:
George Washington
This completed the correspondence
Observation-Disclosures DRAWER, IN
Harpe,'s Magazine for Jan.
A PRESBYTERIAN INDEED.-Yar-
mouth, Nova Scotia, has a witty and
wido-awake Presbyterian eltey of pro-
nounced Scotch antecedents, who. al
though a persistent advocate of .b,
Westminster Confession will occa.
siorally, for convenience sake, anC
from an innate love Of social religious
intercourse, attend the meetings OF hi.
Methodist brethren.
AT n recent prayer-meetinE of ,h
latter body OF Christians that was bel,
IS preparatory 10 centennial seryic
IN commemoration Of the pro ress O
Methodism in Nova Scotia, the presid
Ing minister dwelt eloquently upon th
wonderful growth and prosperity of th
Methodist Church. and Of it's grca
founder, John Wesley. He also ex
pressed thankfuness that to-day Their
were one hundred and nine Metho dis
ministers in Nova Scotia.
The meeting thus very naturally as
sumed a UNCONVENTIONAL character. An,
the minister asked our good Presbyte
rian brother to lead in prayer at th
close. Tie elder complied, and afte
thanking tie Lord for the many goo,
things he had just heard about thi
branch OF Zion he added, with nue.
depth of feeling, 80 Lord, we than
Thee for John Wesley, bat We espe
cially thank Thee for JOHN KNOX; W
thank Thee for tie hundred and min
Methodist ministers in our country, bu
we especially thank Thee for the hun
DRIED AND THIRTEEN Presby min
listers who are preaching the Word 0
Life throughout our land. AMEN.
Presbyterianism will not lose an,
lusire Ivy that earnest elder, oven in
Methodist prayermeeting.-D
The same Magazine says: JACK j
boy Of six years, and very ready
Happening recently TO be ct neigh
bor's where pet colt was being show
of, be was possessed with n frenzy 70
the animal. Say say want tba
colt; will give you all my monoy-hav
lots in the sayings-bank and a stiff
cut Can't / have it, Mrs Uart?
Guess not, jack sail the lady
Couldn't make an exchange for any
thing you have except The baby. Civ,
me tho baby and I'll give you III