The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-11-18
MARK TWAIN'S WELCOME,

\ regiment from Worcester recently
visited Hartford. The Major requested
Mr.. Clemens to make few remarks of
welcome at the proper time. These are
the remarks he made: ellis Honor,
the Major, deputies me to speak for him
in answer to the toast to the city of
Hartford. lie is i'll politics, a delicate
situation at all times, where exceeding
caution is necessary. 1 admire his
prudence as much as ] admire my own
intrepidity, because, although he is not
willing to answer for Hartford and to
indorse it, I am. I will back up Hart
ford in everything else if he will be
responsible for the weather. Now, as
l am talking for Hartford, 1 will talk
earnestly but modestly. The is much
| here to see--the State House, Colts
| factory and where the Charter Oak
was. And we have an antiquity here
the East Hartford bridge. Now, let
me bescech you, don't go away with
out that seeing that tunnel on stills.
You may think q triile, but go on and
sec it! Think what it may be to your
posterity, generations hence, who come
here and say, "Yhcre is the same old
BRIDGE Ii is coeval with the flood
and will be coeNistent with the millen-
mum. Hartford has q larger popula-
ton than any city in America except
New York. 1t is more beautiful than
any other city excepting Worcester,
and it is the honestest city in the world.
Well, that will do for Hartford. !
will rest my case there. When asked
to repond / said 1 would be glad to, but
there were reasons why 1 could not
make a speech. But I said L would
talk. l never made 1t speech without
getting together lot of statistics
and being Instructive. The man who
starts in upon Il speech without pre-.
paratlon enters upon y sea Of
infelicities and troubles. had
thought of /. great many things that 1
intended to say. In fact, nearly all
these things I have heard said here to
night I had thought of. Get man
way down here on the list and he
starts out empty. l was going to say
something about prominent people and
about the Foot Guards, who had seen
everything that has happened for Ill
years. Five years they fought for
King George, and JOG for liberty.
They fought Ill years and never lost
a man. And the enemy never lost a
man. What l mean, is 70 compliment
the Foot Guards, and 1 hopcI have
done SO.
! One reason I didn't like to come here
to make Il prepared speech was because
1 have sworn off. l have reformed. 1
would not make a prepared speech
without statistics and philosophy. The
advantage of prepared speech is that
you start when you are ready and
stop when you get through. Ifunpre-
pared you are all at sea, you don't
know where you are. I thought to
achieve breVity, but l was mistaken.
A man never hangs on so long on his
hind legs as when he don't know
when to stop.
L once heard OF a man who tried to
be reformed. He tried to be brief. A
, number Of strangers sat in a hotel par
Tor. One sat off to one side and said
, nothing. Finally all went out except
one man and this dummy. Then the
dummy touched this man on the Shout
der and whistled. He touched again
and said 81 think l have s-s-s-e
(whistles) cen you before"
"What makes you whistle ~ asked
the other man.
i "l used to s-s-s-s-tammcr, and the
d-d-u-d-d-d (whistIcs) octor told me
when l w-w-w-w- W (whist!es) wanted
tito speak and st-t-t-ammcred tC
whistle. I d-u-d.u (whisties) id w.
whistle, and it occurred nc'' So it Is
with IL man who makes an unprepar
cd speech. lie tries to be brief and il
takes him longer. l won't uetain YOU
We welcome You with cordial hospi
taiity, and if you remain We will try
to furnish better weather tomorrow