The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-23

property. worth 100000, to his serv-
ants. We never hear of servant leav-
ING $500, 900 to his employer, but in this
country such thing would be possible,
if the servant was engaged one season
Mt summer-resort hotel. -Norristo,0n
Herald.
"Can have some milk, mammap'
said bright little iive-year-old. "You
can if you have not been eating cher
ries; you must never mix anything sour
with milk milk is sour, mamma
said he. "Sour; why no; it isn't sour
if it is fit to drink" But" he re-
Joined, 1.-THE sour is there all the time;
il must be there, and it comes out by
and by"
A party of vegetarians who were
boarding at water-cure establishment,
while taking walk in the fields, were
attacked by bull, which chased them
furously out of his pasture. That's
YOUR gratitude, is it, youhateful thing?'
exclaimed one of the ladies, painting
with fright and fatigue "After this |
will eat beef three times day."
A dry goods clerk, who had most
outlandish way of walking, had to go to
distant part of the store to find some
goods which a party of feminine Gus
toners desired IL see. walk this way,
ladies' he called, rs he swung himself
off But we can't walk that way"
cried pert miss; 1--WE never learned
that style, YOU know" The clerk. is
now drilling his tibia in the motions of
new gait.
An old man with the palsy went ont
to shoot squirrels, taking his son with
him to carry the gun. Spying a half
dozen in tree the boy took AIM fired
and missed several times in succession.
The old man took the gun in his shak
ing hands, put in fearful charge of
powder and shot, fired and brought
down three. There! that is the way
to shoot squirrels" well" answered
the son, Il might have done as we'll if
had fired all over the tree at the same
time"
A young Austin doctor, who had just
graduated, was asked the following ques-
ton by an old practitioner: Suppose
you were called in to see u wealthy pa
tent and there was nothing the matter
with him, what would YOU do?' 81
would suggest that he set up the wine 10
celebrate his narrow escape from having
me treat him professionally" Young
man, you have a heap to learn was the
reply of the old doctor, -IeraS SytingS.
Those who have been pestered to death
by the irresistible dandelion on their
lawns may now take heart. The pest
will poster them no more. Eastern mar
kets have begun to utilize them for
greens, so that gardeners cultivate them
for sale. The plant having thus become
useful, the bugs will eat it off above
ground, the grub will saw its roots in
two, the sun will parch it to death, the
rains will drown it out, the wind will
thrash it to strips, and the boys will dig
it out and steal it. Thus the dandelion,
which has been among the first of the
weeds to coax its way into human favor
in the spring by throwing out its golden
blossoms as sort of flag Of truce and
peace offering combined, will retire from
the field and the lawn to the seclusion
of the guarded greenhouse. Detroit
Free Press.
A German satirst has produced the
following fable There was once four
flies, and they were hungry one morning
The first settled upon sausage and
made meal. But he speedily died of
intestinal inflammation, for the sausage
was aduterated with aniline. The sec
ond fly breakfasted upon -four and
forthwith succum5ed to contraction Of
the stomach, owing to an inordinary
quantity of alum The third fly was
shaking hi, thirst with the contents of
the miik-iug, when cramps suddenly
CONFUSED him, and he gave up the ghost,
victim of chalk adulteration. Seeing
this, the fourth fly, muttering to himself,
"The sooner it's over the sooner to
sleep" aiighted upon moistened sheet
of paper exhibiting the inscription, Fly
Poison" lie drank to his hearts con
tent, growing more vigorous and cheer
ful at every mouthfu Even the fly
rpiann uyoe uIult.rotnI -