Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1882-07-29
NORTHERN TRIBUNE.
SATURDAY. JULY 30, 1882.
NIormons at she Circus.

You may talk about gala days and fun
all you choose to, but you don't know
much about 1t till you have seen the cir
Gus in Mormon town. The govern
fnent of the United States has done a
very good thing in appointing a COM
mission to look into the Mormon prob
lem, but if thorough investigation be
made, the result will show that the
proper way to conquer the p0lygamists
Is, to go among them with circus and
fire woman out of cannon at them.
Other means. may temporarily succeed,
but the only way to win the MOrmCns to
better life Is to get them in a circus
and fire the everlasting truth at them,
while they sit on the narrow blue seats
under the hot canvas and watch the
fearless woman with the pink tights,
who falls off her horse at salary Of SO
per week and yermilliOn lemonade.
When old John RObinsOn's only and
and supremely isolated world renOwn
and universe-defying congress Of pink
eyed ponies and measly hyenas struck
Ogden, nobody seemed to know how it
happened, but the whole Of Northern
Utah was aiiame with the pink sun bon
nets and bedtick pantalo0ns OF the Lat
ter day Saints. Long before daylight
the bull teams and mule loads Of poly
gamOus fruit began to deiuge the city
till Ogden was one yhst camping ground
and the the valley was musical with the
neigh of the new colt and the echo OF
the Mormon spank. The white-eyed,
freckle-nOsed yearling, and the 2-year
old with the stone bruise we're there.
From the parbOiled infant whose nose
was peeled with his l00-mile ride, up To
the lOose-jointed girl whose feet spread
out over the circus ground till they Oh
scured the face of nature, all, all were
there. The red-faced pr0genit0r, with a
Seymour linen coat and wagon tar on his
nose, led the van. Behind him came his
most recent wife with a testimonial of
her affection wrapped in red shawl.
Then came the wife Of 1881 bearing in
her arms one Of the April crop. Back
around the block extended the long pro-
cessiOn of prespiring humanity. They
drove into town in every style OF convey
ance known to modern mechanism and
took in the entire show, from the fat
woman in the side show to the negro
minstrel performance in the ring at the
end Of the circus. Filled with wonder
and. collie they turned their tear-bedim-
med eyes toward the waning electric
the animals loaded on the train. Sadly
and sorrOwfulIy they loaded up the worn
and weary cargo of humanity, and when
the morning sun lit up the Wasatch
Mountains they lit out.
The immensely of the undertaking
may be considered and understood when
we stop to think that few Of these Nor
mon patriarchs can load their families
into one lumber wagon. What can they
do? The children cannot be left at home,
for the mothers are determined to see
the arenic display and mighty world
defying phalanx OF geological CHAMBERS
and acrObatic genius. There isnO alter
native but TO hitch up the time-hOnOred
bull team and trail wagons enough to
hold the sacred outfit. Western people
know that a freightinG outfit consists of
a very large wagon in the lead, with
one, two or more traiied after 1t. Some
of them hold car load or more. and
when jerked over the road by a team Of
eight or ten pairs of unterrified mules,
the old patriarch with yellow fringe OF
coyote hair under his chin Is a general
manager of understanding, squalling and
persplring humanity than anybody.
The performance at Ogden was delay
ed thirty minutes for the arrival OF one
family alone that had been delayed by a
hot box. The circus manager estimates
that he rms the circus at an expense of
800 per hour, but when this family got
there and he figured up the price of ad-
mission he was ahead $35 %, to say
nothing of peanuts and the minstrel
show receipts.