The Opelousas courier., 1882-04-01
spoopendyke as a Sportsman.

dyke, as be drew a gun from the case
and eyed it critically, j want you TO
wake me up early in the morning. I'm
going shooting" D..
"Isn't that too sweet !" calculated
Mrs. ~Spoependyke. "ph my
new dress and my Saratoga waves
Where do we got"
"Pm going down on the island and
you'll probably 60 as faroas the front
door," grunted Mr., spoopenGSke,
"Women don't go shooting, It's on'y
men. All you have got to do is TO
wake MP and get breakfast. When l
come home we'll have some birds"
won't that be nice?" chimed Mrs.
Spoopendyke. Can You eaten bros
with that thing !" and Mrs. Spo"pen-
dyke futterel around the improved
breech. loading shotgun firmly impress
ed with the idea that it was some kind
of a trap. o,
"Ican kill 'em with this exclaimed
Mr.. Spoopendyke. This Is a gun my
dear; it isn't a nest with three speck
led eggs in it, nor is it a barn with a
hole in the roof. You stick the car
fridge in here and pull this finger
niece. and down comes your bird every
time"
"Well, isn't that the greatest thing !
) I suppose if you don't wants partridge
you can stick a duck or a turkey ID
that end, too, or a fish or a lobster
=, aud bring it down just AS quick
Yes, or you can stick u bonse or a
eornfeld, or a dod gasted female idiot
+ in there too. if you want to-" snorted
Mr.. ~Spoopendyke. Who said any
thing about a partridge? It's a car
fridge that goes in there"
"Ohr' CALCULATED Mrs. spoopen-
dyke, rather crestfaIlen. 81 see BOW
q Where does the bird go?"
! HE goes to night school, ifhe hasn't
o got any more sense than yon have
snotted Mr.. Spoapendyke. LOOK
A here, now, and I'll show yon how II
works. and Mr.. S~poopendyke, whose
ideas of a gun We're about as vague al
q those of his wife, inserted the cart'ldg'
' half way in the muzzIe end, aud can
d tiausly cooked the weapon.
aAnd when the bird sees that HI
e cemes and pecks it! Isn't that the fun
=. NEST !" and Mrs Spoepenayke clapprs
her hands in the enjoyment of her dis
ID covery. aThen you put out you
OF hand and catch him.n
you've struck it," howled Mt
10 Spoopendyke. who had the hammer o
III the half cock, aud was yainly pnllini
If. at the trigger to get it down. That
tile idea All you need is four feather
aud q gas bill to be a martingale
II. With your notions, you only mi
i. new stock and a team trip hammer
m lie a needle gun! Den't you kno'
nv the dod gasted thing has to go off be
il fore you get a bird. You shoot tn
=. birds, you don't wait for 'em to shoe
he yeun
AT home, we used to always cho
- their heads off with All AK" faltere
no Mrs. spoopendyke.
So would /, if | was going aft.
~ measly old hens retorted Mr.. spool
u. endyke, who had managed to nncoc
the contrivance, !" but when | go Fl
yellow birds and sparrows go like
nd sportsman. While I'm waiting for
We bird" continued Mr.. S~paopendyk'
to adjusting the cartridge at the breecl
Ter Il put the load in here for safet.
S.. Aud when / see a flock / aim aud fire
IL Bang! went the gun, knocking Il
lat tail feathers out of an eight day clot
to and blowing a foot furrow in the wa
lie perforating the closet dosr and culm
es, mating 10 Mr., Spoopendyke's plug ha
by Goodness, gracious" sqnsaks
or Mrs. ~Spoopendyke. oh, my"
ID Mr.. s~poopendyke gathered linnse
tie up and contemplated the damags.
to why conldn't ye keep still"
lie shrieked. Whatd ye want to di
TO turb aim for and make me let it Oh
ps- Think / can hold back 4 charge
to- powder aud d pound of shet while
measIy woman is soaring it through
gun barrel -
Pr If that had been a bird, how nice
you would have shot it," suggest'
80 Mrs. Spoopendyke, seothingly. :.
you should ever aim at q bird, you
~ catch him, sure ~
: .Oh, you know what ] could d
n With your information about gnnae
you only need a wad III your mouth Al
u kick like q mule to be a mouDta
howitzer! If had your intelligsD
on sporting subjects, I'd hire out for
shot tower. Don't you know you
spoiled the dod gasted gun q A
Mr.. Spoopsndyke, anxious for sol
excuse to take il back to his frie
Specklewottle, whs loaned it to hi
held it ont aud eyed his wife stern
" You have ruined that gum he G
our tinued solemnly. " L won't ever