South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-02-24
" IT u u al II u Ds or.

liner tbs other day 10 take up The
character offs servant. The respec. q
bio appearance OF the latter was beyond
questioning.
Blu. is sho honest 2 asked the lady.
Il am pot 81 certain about that re.
piled the nilliner; Il have sent her TO
you with my bill dozen times, and she
has never yet given me the money
II wonder said s young hopeful Of
seven, who had been 10 a grand we'd
ding in stylish church, wonder why
the organ played Lo-hc-grins p
How very stupid, Freddie = was the
prompt reply OF his young sister. 1T
wasn't Lo-hc-grins 1T was Lo-Le's.
green
"A WITTY ANSWER TunNEru AWAY
WRATH The man who travels on the
railroad and sits down by the side of
lone females, while laboring under the
impression thst he recognizes a likeness
in their faces TO his wife's aunt's cousin
met his match on one of tho roads in
this vicinity lately. he sat down in
the half OF seat, the other half OF which
was occupied by pleasant,faced Young
lady. Ills FIRST question wac:
Pardon me. Miss, but is your name
James? ] have a cousin of that name
whom You greatly resemble
No, sir was the reply, my mare is
not James But pardon, me, is your
name Zinc or Copper p
Zinc or Copper No, ina am, said
the astonished man. what led you TO
suppose had such name P
Excuse mo, was the quiet reply.
but thought you must he first cousin
to n brass foundry
The man fell over two seats and
kicked bird cage half way down the
car in his haste To get into the smoker,
while the Young lady smiled gentle
smile behind her handkerchief. IL was
proof OF the old adage that O. witty
answer turnoth away bores. -Washine-
ton Register.
Where lid You make The raise 2 a
darkey was asked "a he trudgcd home.
ward with fat chicken under his arm.
1 didn't raise it, sab, pulled it down
of de roost."
-'Is there any fixed rule FOR writing
poetry 2 wrote n correspondent To n
country editor. His reply was: There
is. Don't
How many pears have on nv
plate, pa ? asked a smart boy the other
evening.
Two, my son, answered the fond
parent, surveying the fruit.
mo, sir; I've four, AMI / can prove
it, triumphautly remarked the juye.
nile.
How 10 you mako that out p asked
the perplexed father.
Well sir, haven't two pears, and
don't two pairs make four 2 grinned
tho archn.
All right, my son. You have too
many said the old man, getting up
and reaching over. Here. mother, You
take one and I'll take one, and John
may have the tTo that are left.
-SPoonoy dry goods clerk to smart
miss trying on q hat before the class ?
Don't l wish I was looking glass.
Smart miss: Yes perhaps you'd get
more girls to look at you then
Are You dry, Pat" Dry's not the
word shake mo aud ye'll SEQ the dust
comm out o nc mouth.
1t is never safe to rust the discre-
Sion Of the average small boy A Lon
don tradosman found this out the other
day when it was TOO late. He tells the
story himself i keep a shop, says ho,
and sells fancy goods. a gentleman
came in to buy something. Il was ear
", and Try little hoy and I were alone
IN the house at the time. The gs1tle-
man gave mo q sovereign, and / had TO
20 up stairs TO my cash box. Before
doing SO went into The little room next
20 The shop and said TO The bog, watch
the gentleman, that he don't steal any
thing and I put him on The coau,cr.
a. soon rs retained, lo sang out. at
The top Of his voice, Pa Lc dijn't steal
anything / watched him.. You may