davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09
LACONICs.

NoTHISo but good life can Of men for
better one. 4
A rrnlcrrx that costs pain gives double
content.
MoNEx is well spent in purchasing tran
guilty Of mind
THHRr is no deeper law Of nature than that
Of change.
INDoLnNon is the rust of the mind and the
inlet of every vice.
WnoNo none by doing injuries, or emitting
tho benefits that are your duty.
PurrrNe sells many book on which the
paperknife refuses to do its office.
MEN usually follow their wishes till suffer-
ing compels them to follow their Judgment
The sleep of memory is not its death; for
gotten studies are certain apttudes gone to
sleep.
TIE intellect of the truly wise man'is like a
glass-it admits the light of heaven, and re-
fleets it.
BE always ut leisure to do good; never
make business an excuse to decline offices of
humanity.
He wko is pulled up with the first gale of
prosperity, will bend beneath the first blast
of adversely.
The inoapacity of men to understand each
other is one of the principal causes of their
ill-temper towards each other
WITH love, the heart becomes fair and
fertile garden, glowing with sunshine and
warm hues, and exhaling sweet odors
Those who excel in strength are not mosi
likely TO show contempt in weakness. A man
does not despise the weakness of child.
WHEN woman smiles at an affront one OF
two things is certain. She has either lost all
modesty, or she is assured of her revenge.
WISDOM. chief properties of wisdom
arc to be mindful of things past, careful OF
things present, and provident of things to
come.
GREAT secret of education is to make the
exercises of the body and those of the mind
serve always as recreation 70 each other.
In man be gracious and courteous to
strangers it shows he is o citizen of the
world, and that his heart is no island cut off
from other hearts, but continent that jo
them.
FIDELITY. often seem to imagine
the property of the mind resembles the pro.
erty of sea-water, and loses all its deleteriou,
particles when once it is fairly frozen.
ERRoR. -There is a wonderful vigor of con.
stitution in n popular fallacy, When the
world has once got hold of lie, it is as
tonisning how hard it is to get it out Of the
world
THERE are few men who, were they certain
of death ON their SEVENTEEN birthday, woult
think of preparation. Tomorrow may b,
the gate of an eternity, and they go ON il
their folly.
SUCH as have virtue always in their mouth
and neglect it in practice, and, like harl
which emits sound pleasing to others, Will
its own body is wholly insensible to the musi
produced
A GOOD conscience is better than two wit
nesses. twill consume your grief as the SUI
dissolves ice. 1t is spring, when you are
thirsty; staff, when you are weary; a screen,
when the sun burns you, and pillow in
death.
LETTERING. certain is the crime of lis.
tening to carry its own punishment, that
there is no pointed prohibition against il 4; we
are commanded not to commit other sins, but
this one draws down its own correction, and
woe be to him who infringes it
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09
POETRY.
FARE THEE WELL.

Fare thee well, fare thee we'll,
Most ceaudful Of earthly things,
viii not bid thy spirit stay.
Nor link To earth those gathering wings
That burst like lightawRy5
know that thou art gane to dwek
in the sunny home IT the fresh day beam.
Before decay implying tread
Hath crept upon the dearest dream
That ever canie aud He'd
Fare thee WE'LL fare thee WE'LL
And 90 thy way, all pure and fair,
Into the starry armament
And wander there with the spirits OF air.
AS bright and innocent
Fare thee well, fare thee WE'LL
Strange feet will be upon thy clay,
And never stop to sigh or sorrow;
Yet many wept for thee to-day,
And one will weep tomorrow,
Aiasl that melancholy knell
Shall often wake my wondering ear,
And thou shalt greet me for while,
Too beautiful to make me fear,
Too sad to let me smile
Fare thee well, fare thee well
/ know that heaven for thee is won;
And yet ] feel would resign
Whole ages OF my life, for one
One little hour of thine
Fare thee we'll, fare thee weni
See / have been to the sweetest bowers,
And culled from garden and nom heath
The tenderest OF all tender flowers,
And blended in my wreath
The violet and the blue harebell,
And ono frail rose in its earliest bloom
Alas meant it for thy hair,
And now fling it on thy tomb,
To weep and wither there
Fare We we'll fare We we'll
Sleep, sleep, my love, in fragrant shade,
Droop, droop, tonight, thou blushing token
fairer flower shall never fade,
Nor fonder heart be broken
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09
Death and Sleep.

The Angel of Sleep and the Angel of Death
walked the earth in Il brotllerly t.i rlca It
was evening. They hlid them ,owu ON hill,
not far distant from the lahta,iots OF men
melancholy stiffness rignsd uOiind whilst
the vesper-bell sounded in III distance. The
night drew on, and found the tenefcent
genii conversng sadly and sweety (as is their
WON'T clasped Ia each others arms when the
Angel of Sleep arose from its messy couch,
and scattered with gentle hand the Invisible
seeds of slumber. The evening breezes
waited them towards the peaceful dwellings
of the wearied husbandmen, who were soon
embodied in the gentle arms OF repose, from
the hoary-headed man with his staff to the
sucking in the cradle. And now the sick
man forgets his sufferings--the mourner his
sorrows--the poor his cares-the seal of OBJ
livion has closed every eye. Having perform
ed his tender office, the Angel of Sleep once
more reclined beside his stern brother, and
exclaimed with innocent delight--"At the up
rising OF the rosy morn, men also shall awake
% bless me as their benefactor and friend.
Oh, the bliss of secret, invisible well-doing |!
Thrice happy we, my brotherl Secret minis-
ters of the spirit of good-Low beautiful is
our still mission u SO spake the loving angel.
The Spirit of Death gazed on him in silent
sorrow, and tear, such as mortals weep,
stood in his large, rayless eye. '.Ah y re-
piled he, why may not luxuriate, as you
do in making others happy Alas l am
only known ON earth as the grand enemy
the JOY destroyer l"--''Nay, my brother"
replied the Angel of Slumber, twill not the
good man, ct his last awakening, hail thee as
his best friend, with grateful blessings? Are
we not ministering brothers of one great
Father?" As he thus spake the dim eye Of
the Angel Of Death flashed through its dark
ness, and the brotherly spirits once more were
clasped in loving embrace.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09
A Young Gorilla.

IN Cbaillu in his interast;ne, ,vorL ,.aoor,,-
inc his travels IN Africa saws that on ON,
occosion eonse natives brongIt hin, ,,o,,,,,
oo,ille alive II cannot " avs he ,sacsc,;bse
ibe emotions with which saw the st,nao,line
Ittlo hrnta draooed into tbe v;lloaa Afii he
hnrdsbins 7 had endured in Afrieo we've re-
,yvnrle5 in that ,nomen1 ~ l;,,,a fel,o,y
,vos bstween two aud three years of o,o a,,d
two feet sly inches bieb n GORILLA MIMI,
who WINS as fierce and sfnhhorn as Nc $ ,goil
pro,yn relatives The hunters Ind shot his
mother and Ind sec,reJ tbe o,,ban Lv
throwing cloth over his. beaa while he was
making hostile demonstrntions Astbe httla
brute, though SO diminutiye, and The merest
hoby of aoe WINS astonisI,;noIy slrona a,,J
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

CAIRO is the most Mohammedan city in
the world. 1t has the finest library of Mos
lem literature, and its printing press has a
reputation wherever the name of Mohammed
is revered. There are upward of 500 mos
ques in the city. The chief of them is cali
ed ALAzhar (the splendid), and has 10, 600
enrolled students, who are instructed in the
ology, law and mathematics, But, although
Cairo is externally more religious even than
Mecca, the faith ofthe people in their system
is dying out
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

JoHs ADAMS wrote prophetically But
let us take warning and give it to our child
rem. Whenever vanity and gayety, love
OF pomp and dress, furniture, equipage,
buildings, great company, expensive diver
sions and elegant entertainments get the
better of the principles and judgments of
men and women there is no knowing where
they win stop, nor into what evils, natural.
moral or political, they will lead us.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

THERE lisa woman in Baltimore older than
the United States She had her centennial
nine years ago, and yet enjoys perfect health,
attends to her domestic duties, reads the tele-
grams and murders without spectacles, and
has baby seventy-four years old. She
firmly believes the theory that men are de-
cended from monkeys, 'for," says she, '1the
longer one examines them, the more one
sees they are everrestlessly playing tricks on
each other Just like their ancestors"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09
A TURNED.DOwN PAGE.

There's aturned-dpwn page, as some writer says
In every human life
A hidden story of happier days
Ofpeace amid the strife.
folded leaf that the world knows not
A love dream rudely crushed
The sight of foe that ID not forget.
Altho' the voice be hushed.
The far distant sounds of a harp's soft strings,
An echo on the air:
The hidden page may be full of such things,
OF things that once were fair.
There is hidden page in each life, and mine
A story might unfold;
But the end was sad Of the dream divine
Itbetter rests untold.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

In LcEdon the new Coffee Palace" for
the working classes is very popular. It
is an immense building well lighted, and
having hall for miscellaneous enter
tainments, rooms for talking, reading,
smoking and playing all sorts of games
from dominoes Ia billiards. There are
rooms for women also, and huge dining
room, where good food can be bought
very cheaply, but no liquor,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09
NO. 5Ie
sIrrISGs.


Never use agold snuf2box Sod is not to
b. peczcd at e-
When is wine like a pigs tusk? When it is
In hog s-head. M @4rI Hcl
- novel may be very old, and yet what Ia
old cannot be novel. -ff AIA sar
Whore may everlasting spring be founds
In an india-rubber factory. fi;f
---EIow is ii some papers are afraid ~ to give
credit to whom 1t Is due .5 sne
AN Irish paper adYertses, ''Wantcd, an able
bodied man as washerwoman," II
1.-The young gentleman who flew into pas
sion has had his wings clipped.
We are asked, in u long communication, ST
tight lacing is injurious. OF corset is.
The man who Couldn't stand it any lonaer.n
has tuken seat, and now feels quito comforts-
Bile.
Whom may man be said to be literally ini-
mersed in Business When les giving swim
ming lesson. 5 sas
IA Boston paper publishes the receipt Of
Heaps Of Money q book) Why is il that none
comes ton. W
1.-The girl who succeeds Id winning the true
love Of true man, naksa 2 lucky M, and 10
herself q lucky miss
IF you want to teach 4 dog arithmetic, tic
up one OF hispaws, and he viii put down three
and carry ono every time.
"A country paper speaks Of i man who died
'swithuut the aid OF u physieisn'' such in
stances of death are very rare.
"A Frcnchman, intending to comp1iment
young lady by calling her gentle lamb, said,
''She is one mutton as is small
An editorial in nj exchange is headed does
ments, but tile in thick hcadedness.
The lays of tho nightingale may be very
delightful to well fed nan, but the Gays" OF q
hen are liked better by Il hungry man.
Why is man who spoils his children like
another who builds eastltsin the airP-Because
he INDUCES in fancy t'ufancy1 too much.
81 20 through myiworb, as the needle said to
the idle boy. "Bat NJ until You are hard
pushed, as the idle hoy said to the needle.
"A fayorite mode Of Introduction in Brazil is
said to be, 'rhis is my friend il he steals any
thing nom you, am rrsponsiblefo 1t.
SAMMY, my son, how many weeks belong
to the year, y 'Fprtg-six, ii why, Sammy,
how do you make that oil; The other six are
Lent"
IA gentleman WIS ltisly asked the question,
"What is yonr ii siluns maisuts Il will wait
long while belufe do any Lighting" was the
response.
An exchange avs a man named Chip
Thompson, crossed the Sehasikil ON tight
rope. de must have been eAip OF the old
block, Tom.
"A woman was offered thousand dollars If
abe would remain slie;it ii,r two hours. At the
end of fifteen minli.s AZ asked, Isn't the time
nearly up ana t4nS i7-t. slzFH
William Aydelotte Is the name of the pub
of the Philadelphia Conference.-The. Whether
William aid a t6t or aid little, the success of
the paper is duetc his energy q
An American ionrnal asi,s ,,hat ia the differ
euce between n eood solili nm a tasb,onable
younp lady? and ronli,,s ;. some faces The now.
der, and the other powders the face. !"
hsaa ~ ~ W asl''leu 70 shros
oi I'M i,"o I'M at 1,i. waile ~ some
Say. ven ',lo.s'' m'ql4 slala any pettei
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

No statue that the rich man places os.
tentateously In his windows Is to be COM
pared to the little expectant face pressed
against the window PIANO, watching for
his father when his days labor is done.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

vegetarian who was lodging an infuria-
ted bull behind tree, exclaimed: s'You
ungrateful beast you toss vegetarian, who
never ate beef in his life Is that the re-
turn YOU make y
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

A Texas revivalist who saw q lady
writhing at camp-meeting thought
his words had made an impression, but
saw his mistake when lizard was taken
out of her hustle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

"A boy, as he turned to his uncle, and pointed
to a picture, said Uncle Ned, what 10 that I"
On being told it was q whale, he looked at II
long wayl"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

Revenge is q fever in our blood, 10 be cured
only by letting the blood of another; but the
remedy too often produces a relapse, which
10 remorse-a malady far more dreadful than
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

See reading matter in fifth column on
fourth page. ,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-08-09

IT Is impossible TO ascertain how far virtue
will predominant until oppressed by tempta-
ton
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1882-05-20
selling Girls i'm Sheets.

Up at Clear Lake, the center of sum-
mer pleasure parties and Sabbath school
associations in Iowa, the churches be-
came tired of the old sterotyped plans of
raising money, and new scheme was
evolved from the inner consciousness OF
some bright genius. The treasury of the
COhgregatiOnalist church became rather
bare, and so the young folks got together
and determined to fill it even to over
flow. After long discussion it was de-
cided TO bring about the desired end by
putting all the girls of the church up at
auction to be disposed of to the highest
bidder. The time came around, and every
young man in that part of Iowa in or
near Clear Lake who had any money or
could possibly borrow any was promptly
on hand, eager to bid to the fullest eX-
tent. But there were some of the girls
on whom it would have been impossible
to obtain the bid of an Old-fashiOned cop
per cent, while there were others for
whom the lOve-sick SWANS would will
ingly have bid their last dOlla-, and in
the spirit of Artemus Ward, the last dol
lar of any of their relatives. So to give
all the boys an equal chance, the girls
were wrapt up in sheets, so as to be COM
pletely unacceptable. Each young
man was positive that beneath the snowy
folds of the sheet he could discern the
| outline of the girl on whom he dotted,
| and when from fifteen to twenty of the
young fellows singled out one particular
sheeted object on which to stake their
fortunes, excitement ran high, and mo-
ney ran out of pOcket-boOks like water
down slanting roof.
After all the fair ones were disposed of,
| the order was given to haul up the
Sheets" and then ensued an indescrib-
| able scene of mingled happiness and dis
appointment. Maidens who had been
| purchased for mere song, owing to lack
of bidders. turned out to be the best look
| ing girls in the town, while beings whose
sylph-like appearance under sheet eX-
cited the greatest admiration, and drew
hard-earned money from unwilling poe
textbooks, were found to be most COM
mOn-place creatures indeed. But all
made the best of it, and the disappointed
ones bore themselves bravely. Alto.
| gether the plan was great success; and
as long as churches will raise money by
lottery schemes, why not adopt this
method? 1t is harmless, and yet as pro-
ductive of as much good to the partici
pants, as any game of chance we know
of. 1t gives the hOmely girls and bash
sui boys an equal chance with their re.
spective Opposites, besides resulting in
a grand financial success, and we l0Ol
for its general adOptiOn.-Des Monies
Register.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1882-05-20
NORTHERN TRIBUNE MAY 20. 1882.

county, southeastern Indiana. 1t Is
thought that after 1850 the center Of
population will remain somewhere in
southern Illinois, for despite the marvel
Gus growth of the new west it is only a
little more rapid than that of the great
middle region between the Hudson and
the Mississippi. What statisticians un-
derstand by the term center of population
is the point at which equilibrium would
be reached were the country taken as a
plane surface without weight, but capa-
BILE of sustaining weight, and the inhabi-
tants distributed over it in number and
position as they are found at the period
under consideration, each inhabitant
supposed to be of equal weight, and con-
sequently to exert pressure on the pivotal
point in proportion to his distance there
from.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1882-05-20
The Center of FOpula ton.
From the Lansing Republican.


An interesting volume on 1.-The center
Of population" based on statistics gath
cred In 1880, has recently been issued
from the q. S. census Office. The first
census of 1880 showed the center of popu-
latiOn to be % miles east of Baltimore,
near the 39th parallel of latitude. From
that point it has moved westward at the
average rate of 81 miles in a decade,
never deviating as much as de-
gree to the north or south of the Both
parallel. In 1900 it was Is miles west of
Baltimore, i'm 1910 it was near the POtO-
mac A. miles northwest of Washington,
in 1920 it was 16 miles north Of Wood
stock, in 1880 1t passed trife to the
south of the 39th parallel and was 10
miles west of MOOrfield, Virginia. This
was the most decided nOrthward move it
has made, and came about by the acqui-
siti0n of Florida, and the settlement Of
Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and
Arkansas. During the following decade
1t had again found the north side of the
Both parallel, and in 1910 was 16 miles
south of Clarksburg, Virginia. Southern
Michigan, wisconsin, northern Indiana,
and Illinois had begun to fill up, and
their population turned the balance
again to the n0rthward. The annexation
of Texas again detected the line to the
south and in 1850 the center was %
miles southeast of Parkersburg. 1t again
crossed to the north of the Both parallel,
and in 1860 1t was 20 miles south of Chill
IicOthe, Ohio, having made the wonderful
distances of 81 miles i'm the decade. In
1870 the center Of population was i'm
Highland county, Ohio, AZ miles east by
north of Cincinnati. 1t is believed that
the apparent northern movement during
this decade was caused by a defective en-
enumeration of the cOlOred people of the
southern states in the census of 1870.
In 1880 the center was at TaylOrsville,
KY, about eight miles west by south of
Cincinnati. Leaving facts and going
into speculations it is believed that in
1890 the center will be found in Jennings
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1882-05-20
A WOman's Experience.

Mothers and daughter should feel
alarmed when WEAKNESS constantly OPP
presses them. IF am fretful from ex-
haustion of vital powers and the color is
fading from my face, Parker's Ginger
Tonic, gives quick relief. 1t builds me
up and drives away pain with wonderful
tainty."-BuffalO lady.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1882-05-20
A Rare Chance.

80 acres of splendid farm land, good log
mousse x26 with summer kitchen Smalf
clearing and more that can be cleared easily
Easy terms or will exchange for house and
lot. Enquire of NJ, ID. CHAMPION
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-20
BEHREND'S BALTIMORE STORE.

BEHREND'S BALTIMORE STORE,
90S SEVENTH STREET.
BETWEEN ] AND NORTHWEST,
Would respectfully invite attention his selections Of
HANDSoME NEW GOODS, which are offered at
markRbly low prices.
1erster Co;h. all colors. Csc. Terra Gotta Bronze
Electric Green, &c
ReautfI! L aids, SILK Wool. Csc: formerly Soc
E1gGr Dress Goods that retailed at % only like.
Chuddali Cloth l5c.. a great bargain.
tpleld.d Caehmeres, in black and col ,rs Soc.
Fine Atwood Cashmeres. 20, G22. Toe. and Al.
Novelties in Dress Goods. Pushes and Nelyets.
Green "a Cloth, choice qua ity, 81. IS.
Silks aid Satins, Brocadee, &c.
The New Shades in iadee Cloaking Cloth.
UNDERNEAk for LADIES, GENTS and CHILDREN
We particularly recommend those suffering from
rheumatism To buy our prepared he'd Flannel Under
wear, 81 . 10 81 30 each sell incidentally
prepared Flannel at Soc yard equal to goods usual
ly ret4iled for 15c
Corsets. 50, so. 75c.. 81, 81. Is and up.
Hosiery, Gloves and Handkerchefs
EaNe just received lot= of Linen handkerchief
slightly imperfect, at less than half prices. Call and
see them b fore they all sold out.
tull stock of Domestlcs Table Linen and Towels.
Blankets, Flsnnes, Cassimeres and Housekeeping
Goods.
Last but not least, Misses' Wooden Hose in sizes
from 5to IS, 25c. par.
BALTIMORE CASH STORE.
n3-lm 90S 9TH street northwest