The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-06-01
THE MISSING sUsPENDER..
Mrs. spsependyke. in Fit Of Dsmestic Zee
smy, Cleans Her Husband's Clothes.

Snow, my dear said Mr.. Spoopendyke, as he
stretched himself, and drew on his pant aloons
s.you have cleaned these trousers first rate. This
is what call economy. If I'd taken 'em to the
tailor, it would have cost couple of dollars, at
least and you've saved just that amount" and
Mr. SpoOpendyke went to his ablutions, and
then pulled on his shirt.
an clean Your coat, too, if you like" said
Mrs. SpOOpendyke. leave il at home some
day, and I'll take this spot ont of the sleeve"
and Mrs. SpOopendyke hustled around, and
looked delighted with the idea of pleasing her
husband.
"where's my suspendersi" asked Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, .crewing himself around, and looking
down his back. "You didn't clean the su.pen-
ders clear ont of sight, did you,-
They were there when you put on your
pants" said Mrs. SpoOpendyk-. Il have not
touched them. What did you do with them 7,
"Oh, yes, certainly. did something with
them! What dye s'pose did with emf Think
set 'em up in business somewhere, don't We 7
Got an idea gave 'em vacation 10 go fishing.
haven't YET Well, didn't; and, moren that
didn't send 'em away to he educated for the
ministry. Where's my supendersf Where'd
you put emf S'pose I'm going around holding
these pants up all day! Think l got no bust
ness interests besides holding my breeches
with both hands' What'd you do with the -
things?'
II know / didn't take them off the pants, y
said Mrs. SpOOpendyke, pulling open the bureau
drawers, and hustling things around. in vain
must be somewhere"
sShow 'em TO me- then ~ demanded Mr. Spoop-
endyke. Take stick and point 'em out to
me- OF course, they are there somewhere. only
just put yOur thumb on EN-, What have You
done with emf Can't You recolect whether We
made 'em up into hat bands for the heather,
like you did my dressing gown, whether you
planted them TO if they would grow, like
you did my staw hat' Think they walked off
like Croton bugi S'pose those suspenders
- -.
of housekeeping do you call this, anyhow
Where's my suspendersf" howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, poking around in the soiled clothes bag.
where's those suspendersi' and he pulled the
books off the shelf, and rummaged around be-
hind the with broom handle for q divin-
ing rod.
MAY be | can fix your pants you won't
need any suspenders to-day, and I'll find them
before night" suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
That's it. You've got it~ raved Mr.. spoop-
Going to tie them on with a shoe string, like
you do your bustlef Going to walk around
behind me all day, and hold 'em ont Praps
you can pull EN- up and button 'em round
my neck! How dye propose to fix emf Go
ing to put 'em me upside down, 50 if they
fall they'll fall up' If l had your head, I'd go
ont TO service as a file"
"Just let me buckle them tight behind said
Mrs Spoopendyke; "the strap will hold them"
That's the schemer shrieked Mr. Spoopen-
as sharp as you, I'd get rich hiring out for an
oyster knife. All you want is to have somebody
to sit cross-legged on you, and come home two
weeks after you're expected to be tailor shop!
Going to find those dod gasted suspenders be-
tween and the next war;"
81 know they upon his pants when he
put them on" unused Mrs. Spoopendyke, enter
ing upon a little inductive reasoning ale
didn't take them off, and SO they must be there
now" and the good woman approached her hus-
band with a smile.
"Oh! now they're going 10 he fixed" said Mr..
SpoOpendyke, with horrible grim. ''P'raps
you're going to cut buttonhoies in your hands
and feet, and hang my shoulders, amt YET
Want TO put 'em on over my head, like a measly
skirt, and two tucks and founce to it, don't
YET May be Won think those suspenders hurried
down TO breakfast, SOS to get the first crack at
the morning paper, don't ye"
But Mrs. Spoopendyke made response.
Opening the back of her husbands huttering
shirt, she saw the missing suspenders. He had
slipped them over his shoulders, before assuming
the muslin, and had forgotten all about them.
''Smart a whip, amt YEP growled Mr.
SpOopendyke, he drew off his shirt, and let
the suspenders down. .'If my head was as clear
as yours, I'd hire ont for a church bell. You
only need four lessons and drop of rainwater
to be MICROSCOPIC and Mr. SpOopendyke hur-
ried on his clothes, and scuttled down stairs to
get the morning paper, before his wife could
make clutch at it.-BrooklyH Eagle.