The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-07-13
A TRIFLE MIXED.

"What is the trouble about Mr. Loubat and
Mr.. Turnbull, my dear r. asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, dreamily, lingering around the baby IS
mouth. SIS there suspicion out that they are
the murdeTers ~
..Murderers of who9r demanded Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, looking mp from his paper. "Who have
they murderedi p
didn't see in one of the papers that they
found druggist who sold arsenic 10 Mr.. Loubat,
and that Mr.. Turnbull was seen on the flying
horses, in an intoxicated condition, on the night
before the body was found r.
what paper said so ?" snorted Mr. Spoopen-
dyke. "What back number of petticoat pat
tern have you had hold of, this tripi Who's
been lOaning You the statistical reports of the
lunatic asylums, latelyin
81 haven't followed it very closely" faltered
Mrs Spoopendyke, beginning TO hedge, "but
understand, from what saw that Mr. Loubat
was seen holding Mr.. Turnbull's horse on Chapel
street, while the rest were at Savin Rock and
that they had bought a railroad in Yirgiua-no,
no. that wasn't it. Mr. Turnbull and Mr.. Lou
bat were to have "A duet together, when the
body was found. Now I've got tn
'.You want to hold it," roared Mr. Spoopen-
dyke. You'd better take a blight around the
door knob with it, Oh, you're right about hav-
ing it! If anybody else should get it as bad as
you've got it, it would he an epidemic, With
the way you've got it, and are likely to have
it, you'll only need a spndle-legged doctor and
a yellow flag to be quarantine hospital. Turn
bull and LOubat are duelists, They are going
to fight duel, and not duet! And it was the
Malleys who bought arsenic and went to Savin
Rock! Is that straight enough' Got room for
those two ideas in your head at once n
.'Ies, yes" smiled Mrs Spoopendyke, a new
light dawning on her. 81 see it, the moment
yOu explain it. But never heard of men fight
ing duel with arsenic before; and l think they
must have been poor amsmen, 10 have missed
each other and hit the girlI'
WHAT'S the girl got to do with it'" bawled
Mr.. SpOopendyke. Ever since you've had that
baby, you think everybody's girl, l tell We,
the girl had nothing to do with it. 1t was
only Lou5at and Turnbull, and when they got
mad, everybody else got out of the way. Can
you or. sp that. VIII you let that rattle round
in your mind till it makes an impressiOnir
That's what | say" mumbled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. And if they put the girl out of the way,
they should be punished. No woman is safe
when sueh bloodthrsty loose their vicious
tempers"
Spoopendyke looked at her, and she quailed.
"LoOk here" commenced Mr.. Spoopendyke,
with horrible calmness "Does anybody on this
dod gasted earth know what you are talking
about You go around pecking at the papers
like measly Old hen, and when you've got it
all in Your crop. yOu begin to wander what it
all means! ! say that Loubat and Turnbull
had nothing TO do with it. II was Blanche
DOuglas!'
'0f conr~e" aSsented Mrs. SpOopendyke "a
understand that part, but don't see what they
want TO fight Blanche Douglas for; though,
suppose, when business is bad, the duelsts have
TO take any kiad of work they can get. Did
they find any arsenic in Miss Douglas I"
'.Yes, they found arsenic in Miss Donglasi"
yelled Mr.. Spo6pandyke, mad clean through,
when he found that his lucid explanation made
no impression on his wife. ''And they put u
glass window with red lights in her side, aud a
prescription counter in the small of her back,
and sold hundred tons of arsenic to Walter
Malley, in twen.y-four hours See it now
Understand it at lasti Aud they'd have made
a fortune out of her, if she hadn't kicked against
having Il candy counter in her ear, and a soda
fountain iu her dod gasted esophagus, Got
hold of it this time And Loubat and Turnbull
quarreled because she got sand in her gullet,
and spoiled the stock! Want any more infor-
nation Think yOn can talk intelligently on
the subject to the neighbors now"
II guess So" murmurcd Mrs SpoOpendyke,
looking rather doubtful about il. "By the way,
my dear, did you ever read Fowler's solution of
the matter. I've seen it referred to, but never
could find it,"
CHATS strange, grunted Mr. Spoopendyke
Il don't see how anything should escape that
twenty-five foot front, three story and basement
brown stone mind of yonrs, Now, Just listen
For the sake of average intelligence, listen ~
pleaded Mr.. Spoopendyke, most pathctically.
"LOubat and Turnbull had n quarrel. The Nal
leys and blanche Douglas, and Jennie Cramer
were other people, and had nothing to do with
it. That's all of the matter: Now, you must
understand it"
Yes" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke; but when
men like Mr.. Loubat and Mr.. Turnbull get
CRY and quarrel so desperately, you can't blame
a woman for jumping overheard, or eating arse
mic, though I'm glad they were not murderers, for,
from what | read, had an idea that they were
implicated, and that Mr. Turnbul would escape,
because Mr.. Loubat didn't take any notice of
the murder at the time il was cOmmittedw
Mr.. Spoopendyke drew off his clothes, and de-
liberately iammcd them in the empty CRATE.
The English language was too watery for him.
Anyway" solloquized Mrs. Spoopendyke, as
she watched him crawl into bed like a cannon
ball, ''anyway, Tm sure that Mr.. Loubats and
Mr.. Turnbulrs mothers are glad they unjust
ly accused and l hope it will keep them from
Savin Rock, in the future"
With this reflection. she smoothed out her
husbands Clothes and fell asleep, dreaming that
Jennie Cramer had fought n duel with Blanche
Douglas. for insulting Mr.. Loubat, and that Mr..
Turnbull had tumbled overheard, while dodg-
ing the flying arsenic.-Brooktya Eagle.