The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-07-13
II Didn't Work Well

w A business man who had always been
A. hurry since he could remember, and VII
q, bolted his meals and rushed for his oflic
" so suddenly that his family only caugl
sight OF his coat.tail occasionally, was tol
20 by his doctor that he had got TO qui,
m down and eat slow, and keep up cheer
q. ful conversation at the table while eating
10 or he would die in less than a year. Tn
d doctor told him to take at least an hon
to eat dinner, and should laugh and tall
}. aud be jolly and have good time.
a He went home to dinner Monday, scare,
!. at his condition, but with his mind firml,
Y made up to be jolly and to eat for full
l hour. and obey the instructions Of his doc
tor to: the letter. II was washing da,
e and they had "boiled dinner, and as b,
' sat down he wondered how in the name ol
the apostles he was going TO put in a solid
| hour on slice ofpork and boiled potato
and q little cabbage As he handed his
wife plate, that good lady opened the
cheerful conversation by informing the
husband that neighbor had died that
morning of dropsy, and went on to tell
what a sufferer the deceased had been for
over twenty years. The man of the house
broke out into laugh that fairly raised
the tablecloth.
"Ha! hal" said he, in forced and aw-
fully serious manner. ''That is devilish
goodg' and he speared potato that had
turned green from being boiled with beet
tops.
| The poor woman looked at the color Of
the potato, and gazed at her husband in
great anxiety, and the children looked at
the mother as though they feared the
worst.
Have you heard from Mrs. Daniels to
day?' said the wife OF the ushand, hop
ing to discover if his mind was wandering,
YES" he said with laugh, rs he swal
lowed portion of head OF cabbage aud
cut off pork rind Tor one OF the children,
''she died early this morning in great
agony" aud the man broke into another
forced laugh that grated harshly on the
ears of the poor wife, while two of the
children began to cry.
He looked around ut the wife and child
ss though he would bite their heads of
and broke out into another round of APP
planse. accompanied .by fit of laughter
that nearly choked him.
"What is it, dear?" asked the wife, as
she held up knife as ito protect herself
in case he drew the carving knife on her or
the children.
"Oh, said he, as lie chuckled and NOW.
ed away fork full Of beet greens, II was
thinking Of when / crossed the pontoon
bridge this morning The police were
fishing body out Of the river. One more
unfortunate and he laughed loud and
long.
The wife turned pale; one OF the child
rem was sobbing as il its heart woula
break, and the other was frightened, and
o'Ao ecoA euShA out VI tut fOoui bcut u |
servant for man that lived in the next
house to come right in, as her husband was
in an awful condition, and she feared he
would kill every one in the house.
The neigbor, who used to be on the po.
lice force, took stick of cord wood and
came in and he and the wife peeked IN at
the door Of the dinning room. The old
man was alone, shoveling in yictuals and
laughing as if lis neck would break, aud
they watched him until he had got through
eating He looked at his watch and said
"Well. this beats all the medicine ever
took. Got through eating in fifteen
minutes and have got to put in three quar-.
ters OF an hour more, and he took up car
wing fork and steel iand began playing
snare drum on the cloth an laughing
The ex.policeman told the wife the old
man had got EN- sure, and asked her if he
had not been drinking pretty hard lately.
She insisted that he never Crank anything
at all Then the policeman said he was
probably crazy and the only way was to .
mount him and tie his legs with piece Of
clothes line. They sneaked in behind
him and pulled him down on the floor, and '
the eX.policeman held his arms, while his I
wife sat on his legs and the servant tied j
the clothes line round his boots He yell. i
ed murder, and laughed and thought il :
was joke, and when they had him tied b
and Strengthened out, the poor wife got 4
down by his side, as lie was beginning to
get mad. aud told him that it was all for
The best, that he had been overworked and
needed rsst. and that she would send for
1octor
Then be told her what was the matter a
hat the doctor had ordered him TO be &
,heerful and 10 laugh at the table, and q
hat he had tried it and been arrested for 4
! lunatic aud frightened his family half to j,
leath, and il they would let up he would !,
,ever laugh at the table again. They un- )
led him and put piece Of coat plaster on !,
lis nose and be went down 10 business :.
ured lie now eats in silence and er. a
,ects TO die within year. and be had :,
aiher take the chances Of dying than OF !,
,eing cheerful at the dinner table again. :.
: Mi,cdnlee lsDL
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A Little Damp X