davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
The Only Rebel.

In FIVE weeks wandering over Virginia,
| found but one rebel she was woman
living near Harrison's Landing. 1t was a
hot day as i followed the track of MeClel-
lan's retreat from Malvern Hill, and 1 as
both hungry and thirsty. The woman be-
ing at the gate, / rode up and asked ::
Madame, can I get dinner here
She saw the "Iank" in me quicker than
scat, and instantly replied:
The Yankees stole all had to eat ~
"Fll pay you WE'LL"
"But haven't got nothin' To sell 7"
IF you had some potatoes and bacon
and"
"Ianks stole 'em all ~ she interrupted.
But you can give me a drink of water,
can't you?"
"No, sir. The Yankees filled ND the
well and carried away the dipper."
is there spring around here?''
toted 'em OFF,
Below us was the muddy James, and the
drought had lasted SO long that there was
hardly enough water to float catfish.
Pointing to the historic stream, asked:
why didn't the Yankees steal the river.
too >"
She scratched her head with silver
pulled of the fence, and never unbent a
particle, As she replied:
They wanted to do it, strauger-wanted
to the wust way, and when they diskivered
that it wouldn't load up worth a cent they
galloped their old gun boats up and down
and washed so manv shirts i'm Turkey
Bend that the Jeems have been ashamed
to look cow i'm the face ever since, Nav
be you kin git drink down thar, but this
ere neighborhood won't stand by and see
you carry off any of the sandbars. Be a
little keerful how you paw around r-Free
Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
PILES PILES PILESl
A Sure Cure Found at LastI No
One Need Suffer.

A sure cure for Blind, Bleeding, Itching
and liberated Piles has been discovered by
DIR. William, IAN Indian remedy,) called
DIR. Williams Indian Ointment A single
box has cured the worst chronic cases of
% or 80 years standing. No one need
suffer five minutes after applying this
wonderful soothing medicine. Lotions.
instruments and electuaries do more harm
than good. Williams Ointment absorbs
the tumors, allays the itching particularly
at night after getting warm in bed. acts as
poultice, gives instant and painless relief.
and is prepared only for piles, itching of
the private parts, and for nothing else.
Read what the Hon. j. NJ. Coffinbury of
Cleveland says about DIR. Williams Indian
Pile Ointment: ] have used scores of Pile
Cures, and il affords me pleasure to say
that l have never found anything which
gave such immediate and permanent relief
as DIR. Williams Indian Ointment.
For sale by all druggists or mailed on
receipt of price, Sl.O0.
HENRY d Co, Prop'rs.
90 Nesev street New York,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
"BUDGE" AT BUNCETON.
A Temperance Wave Has Struck
Our Neighboring Town.
BUNCEToN, Mo-, March 8, 1882.

EDITOR BAzOo: A mighty change has
come over us here. We have become tenn.
perate They have struck us at last. Col.
Hickman gave us his temperance lectnre a
few DAYS ago, and now at this solemn hour
hundreds of our citizens are with him
at the church and are taking the solemn
pledge. No more intoxicating drinks for us.
Away with the wine and the lager beer.
We wish to taste them no more forever, for
We are temperate.
Everything is extremely quiet at this
writing. The saloons are all closed in 'front.'
What little intoxicating spirits there may
be here, is quietly stored away until called
for, for We are temperate.
we drink no more, nor buy nor sell;
Away, away the bowl
The good people of this town, the brave
women and fair men, are once more united
over the pledge Peace and harmony sI-
premely reign, and we, repeat, are tenn
perate. We have longed to be temperate,
and now We are happy.
Mr.. Editor, were you ever temperate? In
You ever were, you must know how We
feel here i'm Bunceton. Ii we ever did any,
thing wrong, We are sorry. If We have
quarreled with our neighbor and have
pounded him in public or private, We are
sorry, and ask him to come round and
shake" Probably too much wine has
caused US to do some ugly tricks, of which
We were not aware at the time, and were
hard TO convince OF the fact afIerward.
But We are all right now. We propose To
set an example ''for the people now on
earth"
Hoping that your people will become a
temperate people, and that the BAzoo will
be temperate paper, We bid You an afiec-
tiOnate adieu. LEN Loci.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Engaging Female Help.

81 seen a notice in the Derrick that YOU
wanted to hire girl?"
The speaker was a well-dressed and we'll.
powdered female who had called on an Oil
City woman, in answer to an advertise
ment
Yes" replied the lady. 'Do you want
situation?"
''Oh, 1 don't know; that depends. I've
got more'n fifty good chances"
"Why don't you accept some of them"
"WelI, you see, I'm heightened girl
and a little particular about whom | work
for"
"Do you require recommendations from
your employers"
"NO, Tm not so particular as that"
What are your terms?'
"WelI, i'm the first place I've got two
children"
"Yes"
81 don't allow nv employers to refer to
them, nor to inquire about their father"
''Of course not"
"And | want it understood that | am to
have one day each week to visit them"
Eyes"
"And must have three afternoons each
week to do my own sewing"
Certainly; anything else?'
Il never allow the lady of the house to
come into the kitchen"
NO
And L always enter the house through
the front door,
OF course
And 1 demand the privilege of two
half days each week for taking my music
lesson
Yes
And of course use the piano
Certainly, is that all? p
No, it must be understood that when |
have company | entertain them in the
parlor, and when / am occupying that
room no other person must enter
OF course not. And what salary do YOU
demand p
= MY regular rate is five dollars per
week
Well, replied the lady, looking at her
meekly, I'll speak to my husband, and if
l can arrange with him to sit in the parIor
and entertain you, perhaps We can make
bargain. But i'm the meantime YOU take
walk, and you needn't call again until
send for you. Co.
The poor laboring girl departed.
City Derrick.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
A Dead Injun.
ouray Solid Muldoon.

'hias .pobu
Colorow is dead His spirit has winged
Its flight to the unknown beyond the sands
of life have flown and the veteran warrior
has crossed over the range, he who was the
handsomest of his race now lies Ia habit
he contracted in early lifeC i'm the cold en-
brace of protracted silence; the musical
laugh that so often did greet the pale faced
captive has twittered its last twit; the ewes
that erstwhile sparkled at the glimpse of a
fresh scalp have sparkled their last spark
the unsanctifed digit that so deity mani
pulated the unerring Winchester has
manipulated Its last manip; the scalping
knife hangs idly against the tepee wall
the favored broncho has been slaughtered
for the traditional journey: the yellow dog
howls his mournful dirge and the grief
stricken relic clad in the sad habiliments
OF woe, sits by the dying glare of the pin
ion knot, weighed down with a grief As
painfully piercing and dismaIly dark as
can be woven of the warp and wool of
blighted hopes and buried affections Fare
well, ColorOw-fear not, noble warrior. For
i'm the sweet by and by, He who Judges
alike the untutored child of the forest and
classic pale faced germ of civilization, will
weigh your grist in the balance of provo
cation. The pilferirg agent, thieving con-
tractor, robbing inspector and enroaching
adventurer will weigh in rebuttal against
one whose greatest wrong was i'm defense |
Of bis home and fireside.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Valuable Suggestions to Mothers.

DEAR Mr.. EDITOR Long experience
in care of children, and great success In
bringing them safely through sickness.
gives confidence to assure that Group.
whooping-cough, bronchitis, diphtheria,
and all throat and chest affections will be
speedily relieved and cured by using DIR.
Acker's English remedy, which is exceed
ingly palatable, and may be safely given
the best and most potent known specific
for consumption, asthma, ETC., and single
trial will prove this true
AN OLD NURSE.
To sustain above, trial bottles NAV be
had for ten cents from Bard & Miller.
Regular sizes, fifty cents and 81.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Farm for Sale or Rent.

A farm of forty acres, six miles >outa-
east of Sedala, we'll improved. will b.
sold for $500 cash, OF will rent it oas
year for 500 cash. 1t is supplied viii.
good buildings. an excellent living rell OF
water lin the dryest season, and a gooG
can be found i'm this country. Come anG
see or write. Address.
JOHN WINs,-rr
S-10w6mS Sedsr,; AZ
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
THE YOUNG ELOPERS.
A Former Atchison Girls Break
for Pennsylvania.

Atchi>on Patriot
Many of our readers will readily call to
mind Katie Clark, the little sixteen-year-
old girl who was formerly employed as
domestic in MIR. Z. III Thompson's house.
Some months ago she lett Mr.. Thompson's
employ and returned to her home near
Lancaster, where she has since resided un-
til yesterday, when she came To- town with
4 young man who had been farming i'm the
vicinity of Lancaster and was on his way
TO his home near Pittsburg, Pa. Katie, it
seems, was
TIRED OF LIVING AT HOME
and was anxious To again live at Mr..
ThOmpson's, and when told he did not
want her, as he had another girl i'm he.
place, she seemed very respondent and said
she did not know what To do, as she
would not 60 back under any circumstances.
The young farmer, whose name is Will let
mier, suggested that ii she would go back
to Pitisburg with him he would paw her
expenses and care for her. She hesitated.
but just before the train pulled out of the
Union depot, last night, she
ACCEPTED HIS OFFER
and is probably at this hour rolling swiftly
toward Pennsylvania in company with
Zetmier. She has relatives within 200
miles Of Pittsburg, but will not 60 to them.
Young Zetmier will probably pass her off
as his wife until he reaches Pittsburg. when
he will drop her and leave her to
care for herself. This is very sad case
indeed and may turn out i'm the final ruin
of an exceedingly bright and handsome
little girl. Her parents, who reside near
Lancaster, are said to be splendid people,
but are in very meagre circumstances. IL
is 10 be hoped, but hardly probable, that
she NAV be induced to return to her
home at an early day and her reform
effected
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Good Intelligence.

The valuable preparations of the Gel
ebrated DIR. Acker, so favorably known
throughout Europe, have lately been in
PRODUCED among our people. DR.. Acker's
Dyspepsia tablets will be hailed with joy
by all who are distressed with disorders of
the stomach and liver, for which they are
sure preventive and cure. They are
very pleasane. and sold in elegant boxes at
twenty-five and fifty cents, by Bard &
Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
To Sheen Men

The Pettis County Wool Growers asso-
citation will meet at the court house in Sc
dalia on March Is. to make arrangements
pertaining to the State Wool Growers as
ISOLATION, which meets here on the 9TH and
9th of April, 1882.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14
Strayed.

On January %, 1882, one black mare.
fourteen and half hands high, shod all
round and about nine years old. No marks
but has had "fistula." A liberal reward
given for the return of the above animal
to Chas. Kiefer, Sedalia, Mo. 2-2lw4t
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

A passenger on the incoming Missouri
Pacific informed a BAzoo reporter, this
morning, that the storm was more severe
at Kansas City and Leavenworth than it
is here.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

WILL YOU SUFFER with Dyspepsia
and Liver Complaint? Shiloh's Vitalizer
is guaranteed to cure you. For sale BY
all druggists.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-03-14

Fresh blue grass seed for sale.
A. Y. HoUsroN.
u-9wtf. HOustOnia, Mo.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01

lutely devoted to the pursuit of truth
for its own sake. There was nothing
morose, or proud, or ungenial about
his seclusion. 1t was that of man
who knew where his duty and his
functions lay, and understood that still
ness and concentration were necessary
as well for the prosecution of his re
searches as for his own personal well
being. A man, too, whose pleasures
were those best and simple pleasures
which depend upon the affection Of
family and friends and the enjoyment
of nature"
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
Observe Habits of Regularity

In eating, drinking and retiring, as means
Of maintaing or restoring health. No less
important is it to correct growing tenden-
cy to irregularity in the habit of body. The
function of the bowels cannot be suspend
ed without an accompanying disturbance
of the liver and stomach, and other SYM
course of HOstetter's Stomach Bitters will
give an impetus to the operations of these
organs, which is manifested not only in
the beneficial effects it produces upon
them, but also in more regular and active
bilious secretion, and the disappearance
of wind on the stomach, and colicky pains.
process of digestion Is then effectnally ex-
PEELED, and the system more thoroughly
purified by the channel devoted to that
purpose by nature.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
Tornadoes and How to Avoid Them.

Tornadoes and fiow to Avoid Them.
The signal service bureau has In
press monograph, by Sergeant Fin
ley, containing review of the observa-
tons OF six hundred tornadoes. with
generalizations from the recorded facts
and suggestions as to the methods
which ought to be followed in the in
vest1gation of such storms.
These storm studies have been made
during the past eighty-seven years in
all parts of the country. From these
it would appear that tornadoes occur
most frequently in summer, and in the
month Of June. They have occurred,
however, more frequently in April
than In July, and in May and Septem-
Der than in August. Kansas is the
state that has been most afflicted, and
that notwithstanding the fact that the
period during which tornadoes have
visited it has been comparatively short.
The state has had sixty-two tornadoes
from 1859 to 1881; Illinois has had
tifty-four from 1854 to 1881; Missouri
has had ferty-four from 1914 to 1881
New York has had thirty-five from
1881 to 1881; Georgia, thirty-three
from 1904 to 1881 Iowa thirty one from
1854 to 1881; Ohio, twenty eight from
1898 to 1881, and Indiana, twenty.
seven from 1852 to 1880. The states
and territories that have had only one
each from 1894 to 1881 are Colorado
California, Indian territory, Nevada,
New Mexico, Montana, Rhode Island
West Virginia and Wyoming. The
storms occur most frequently from five
to six in the afternoon, although there
is no hour of the day that has been en-
tirely free from, them.
The average width of the path OF
destruction is 1,085 feet, and the storm
cloud runs with velocity Of from
twelve to sixty miles. The wind with
in the vortex sometimes attains a We
locity of 800 miles an hour, the average
velocity being 1872 miles.
Among the most valuable sugges
tions of the paper are those with lef
erence to the peculiarity of the move
ments of tornado clouds, containing
rules for arriving at their violence. A
tornado cloud always has a centre, and
it always moves forward from west tc
east. 1t may, however, sway from
side to side in its progressive move
ment. Changes in motion are some
times very sudden. In the event Of q
sudden change the observer, who is
east or south of east of the storm
should move quickly to the south. Il
he is northeast he should move to the
north. If within very short distance
of the cloud the observer should run
east, bearing to the south.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
Light. Heat and Power at Little Cos,

Lt8ntJ neat and POWER at Little Cost.
SeientiAc: American.
Among the most interesting exhibits
to be seen at the Electric exhibition
now going on at the Crystal palace,
London, is the new secondary elec-
trical battery of Sellon and Volkmar,
the operation Of which appears to mark
the opening of new era in electrical
progress. If all that is said of the new
invention be true, the storage of power
by electrical means is now reduced to
commercial practice, and, as results,
we may sson expect to observe some
curious changes in the arts, habits and
wants Of the people.
For example, anybody who chooses
to put a windmill upon his house or
barn will be able, by means of the
secondary battery, to light his dwelling
at night, supply it with heat and hot
water for washing and cooking, drive
sewing machines, churns, washers,
pumps, keep electric carriages that
will run anywhere about town without
horses, do his plowing, run mowers,
reapers, seeders, propel boats, and
PCAAOAA oAAAOoO oly oOAb VI WOIh JIdG
may be required. The rotation of the
windmill, running day or night steadily
or internationally, costing nothing ex-
cept repairs, will have its power stored
up and held in a secondary battery,
and by the touch of button to be in
stantly delivered and put to use when
wanted in the form of light, heat or
power. The battery forms in effect a
reservoir Of force, which when con-
nected with an electrical lamp yields
light, or with an electric machine
yields heat or motive power. Further
more, the battery is quite portable, and
may be placed in an ordinary carriage,
giving motion thereto, like a locomo-
tive. But there is no boiler to explode
and no fuel or water to be supplied.
Women and children may safely use
it Every class of society, from highest
TO lowest, every art and industry in
the civilized world, will benefit by its
adoption. These, we say, are only
some OF the indicated uses and advan-
tages OF the new invention, il all that
is claimed for it be true.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
Dar~in's Seclusion.
George Alfred Townsend.

NNotka Alfeo loWhaend.
Much comment is being made among
the clerical classes keIe at Darwin be-
ing inferred in Westminster Abbey,
where 1t is said Huxley and Tyndall
will also be laid. A person who knew
Darwin remarked OF him: "To English
men Mr.. Darwin was merely name.
OF those who knew that he was the au-
thor Of the Origin of Species" c0m-
paratively few could have told where
he lived or what we're his occupations.
No famous man has remained in such
complete seclusion, rarely ever coming
to London, and then seen by few per
sons; engaged in no controversies; new
or putting himself before the public.
This was due partly to his health,
which had been weak for nearly his
whole life. and was so uncertain even
twelve years ago that he was then for
hidden TO come 20 Oxford to receive an
honorary degree, lest the excitement of
an appearance I'm a crowd should prove
too much for him. No one cared less
for popular applause or was more abso-
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
A PHYSICIANS Advice.

Don't expect to cure constipation of the
bowels, dyspepsia, indigestion, etc., by the
use OF severe cathartic medicines. Relief
thus obtained is only temporary, when the
reaction comes the disease has a firmer
hold on the digestive system than at first.
The practice of taking cathartic medicines
is the cause ef q great amount of unneces-
sary suffering. The dose must be increased
from time to time until digestion is impos-
sible without their use, and the liver and
bowels eventually become a mass of cor
ruption that death only can relieve. The
way to permanently cure weak and i'm
perfect digestion is to purify the blood and
strengthen every part of the body by the
use OF such tonics as Yellow Dock, Sarsa-
parllla, Juniper, Iron, Celery, and Calisaya,
all or which ingredients enter into the
composition of DIR. Guysott's Yellow Dock
and Sarsaparilla, the Queen of all health
reviewers. 1t increases the power of en-
auLance and counteracts the pernicious ef-
fects of physical or mental exhaustion.
ASK your druggist TO get il for you.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
Oio CaIiente.

New Mexico is the "eld curiosity
shop" of America-full Of the strange
works Of man and nature.
Across the Ration Pass, and near the
city of Las Vegas; among the ruins of
the ancient civilization that fourished
there and decayed even before the
Spaniards came; among the richest
mineral deposits in America, on the
border of the finest grazing country of
the southwest; in a country abOunding
in almost every variety Of game and
streams stocked with trout and other
fish; and where by reason of the south
ern latitude and the high altitude
$500 feet-the climate is unsurpassed
all the year rOund-at such center Of
all that attracts men, whether health,
pleasure or profit, to the growing and
prosperous southwest, are located these
wonderful healing waters, Las Vegas
Hot Springs, or, in the local Spanish
vernacular, Oio CGlie1te.
Something new in summer travel;
fresher and better attractions, both
with reference to health and pleasure,
than the old resorts Of the east and
north can offer. Magnificent hotels;
first-class bath houses; medicinal wa
ters, having all the healing properties
Of any other known hot springs COM
bined with the advantages Of pure air,
picturesque mountain scenery, hunting,
fishing and other sports, and q delight
full climate all the year round. This is
the "invalid's Mecca" All blood poi
sons, rheumatism, general physical de-
bility. sciatica, paralysis, nervous and
neuralgia affections, dyspepsia, catarrh,
and other diseases, have been treated
with almost universal success, by the
aid Of these baths. The climate is
especially beneficial to sufferers with
lung diseases and catarrh. 0io CALI
ente.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01
Advice TO consumptixes.

On the appearance Of the first symp.
toms-as general debility, loss of appe-
tite, pallor, chilly sensations, followed
by night-sweats and cough-prompt
measures for relief should be taken
Consumption is scrofulous disease OF
the lungs:-therefore use the great anti.
scrofula, or blood-purifier and strength.
restorer,-Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery Superior to Cod liver oil
as nutritive. and unsurpassed as q
pectoral. For weak lungs, splitting OF
blood, and kindred affections, it has nc
equal. Sold by druggists the world
over. For DIR. Pierce's pamphlet OF
consumption, send two stamps Il
WORLDS DIsPENsARY MEDICAL AsSO
CITATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
Barbour County index., 1882-06-01

prevent and cure Malaria, Dyspepsia
Liver Complaint, Biliousness, Sick Head.
aches, Scrofula and diseases caused by i'm.
paired nutrition as we'll as impurities OF
the blood. Rheumatism, Gout, Lithenia
Neuralgia and diseases dependent on inn.
perfect assimilation of food or defective
excretiOn and Elimination, Flatulence,
Cramps in the bowels and spasmodic dis.
eases generally. DOSE: From one half
to one wineglass full two or three times
daily; either Immediately before or after
eating. CARL SPENGLER, Proprietor and
Manufacture, Kansas City.