New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-03-26
ARTEMUS WARD IN ENGLAND.
HR Ha,reis an Good Words.

n. n
When hrtemus arrived here in 1866 he was
dying man. | can him now as he came on the
platform in front of his inferior panorama and stole
n glance at the deuscy packed room aud then ut his
panorama His tall gaunt though slender figure
his curly light hair ana large aqulne nose, which
always reminded me of macaw, his thin face
flushed with consumption his little congh, which
seemed to shake him TO pieces. and which he said
WAS wearing him ont ~ which we all laughed
irrcsstlbly Hud then felt ashamed Of ourselves rs
well We might: but he himself seemed to enjoy
his cough j. was all part of that odd tOpsy
mind in which everything appeared most natural
upside down.
conscious that anything was expected of him. but
after looking AT the audience, then at his own
clothes and then npOogeicaliy nj his panorama, he
began to explain its merits. The fact was that
Artemus intended having the finest scenes that
could Toe painted but he gave that mp on account Of
the expense, and then determined to get the worst
rs the next best thing for his purpose. When any
thing very had came up he would pause and g0ze
admirinGly at the canvas and then look round Il
little. Geproachfuly a. the company, This pic
ure be would say, is great work Of art, IL is
oil painting done in retr cum. 1t Is by tn" old
masters. 1t was The last thing they did before
dying. They did this and then they expired.
wish Won were nearer 81 il 50 You could 1t bet
ter wish could take II to your residences and let
yOu u by daylight Some OF the greatest artlSts
In London come here every morning before daylight
with lanterns to look NJ a. They say they never
anything iSg 1t before, and they hope they
never shall again"
Nothing could ta more impromptu. and therefore
TiyctEC. than hjs manner throughout from the mo
Inent he entered ho seemed 10 De dong eVeryi hing
for the first imo and without the least preparation
and indeed ho most unlike such mechanical
artists rs Albert smith VINO III. to he could 90
through his Mont Blanc hal asleep. AremuS
was always IN reality at high pressure, He was
never twice the same: lie poured ont new Jokes with
prOdiga invention, aud every gesture was original
and arose ont of the immediate occasion. lis finger
vase ever ON the puise of the people: they were
ALWAYS absolutely in ma power, whilst he hHttcred
them by appearing O be entirely III theirs. lie
would coaciiiatr them, inspire pity, claim indui-
gcuc throw himself upon their generosity, pretend
10 exert himself 70 la"or under GepT S. ng sense
oil mlurc even male capital GU, OF his poor cough;
and then hr 81 deeply wounded II some very
mild Joke failed 10 elicit applause that he would
shook with new scn.e OF the abSurb situation. At
Other times When la cITupted 10y laughter he would
look round with surprise ana say, - qua not expect
Won L., laugh at th:.t. / can throw oil numbers Oi
those little things. bat assure You can DO better
than that"
the egyptian Hall. h. SAID quiie automatically: !
don't expect to do much here but have thought II
/ could make money enough to buy me passage To
Zealand / should icel that hal not lived III
vain. don't want 10 live Ia VAIN. I'd rather 1--we
in Margate, or mere" go ,
TIE heat was most oppressive and tho hall very
crowded the day | was there, and lo0hlng up 10
tbr roof hc cOn'iuucd " But / wish when the
TgypIians huiit THIS hall "a burst oil laughter they
had not forgotten the ventilation" Api0pos OF
nothing at al a little further on he observed. " /
really don't tOr money only travel around 10
show my clothes" This Was tayor!te joke of his;
he would look with pl eOus expression ot dlscom-
tort and almost misery AT ms black trousers ana
Ylow-rail coat, u costume IN which ne said he
was always most wretched. " he,e clothes have
on" he continued were great success III Amerl-
ca and then quite rTcleyanty and rather hastily,
how often do largo fortunes ruin young men. |
should like to be ruined, but can get on very vel
as am p so the lecture dubbled on with httle
fragments of impairment biography, mere pegs lOr
slender witticisIns ike this hen quite child
used 10 draw on wood ; | Grew small CARLOAD OF
raw material over n wooden bridge; the people OF
IN
they salG had future before me up 10 mat tliue
| had an idea it was behind me- Or this be-
came A man | have always been mixed up with
arr. have an uncle who lake, photographs, and
have a servant who takes anything he can get MS
hands on. IL
humorisl he was a man OF character and principle;
there was nothing of the adyehturer-Very ltde
even of the Speculation about him. Even IN the
depths of comedy he always on the side OF JUS
nc, and virtue, and not with the Dls Datta,lols'
" AK these questions" (about Louis Napoie' ~,
avs the Snowman, my royal duke ana most hoOlc
hIohucss and nHpcralS, because 1 III anxious 10
l,,,n, how ne stands as 4 man. | know he's smart.
He l. cuunin' he - OHghelded he IS grate out OA-
les. no ~ good. he'll cOnc down WITH CT 'Sh one On
these uays aud the BOnypartes Will be busted up
oc,tn REF yer hf..H These coulc plt prophetic
word we've written when the latc emperor Was u
tie climax of hIs power ana about the tline }! was
so much IN, fashion to call the Second Empire
Ar.cn,us Yard was q worthy and loyable man;
he was sound, biamrless alueWd, sensitive anu "
ferticuatr He deYOt0n TO his old mother WAS Ike
thai Of a Ettio child her comfort and happiness
constantly uppcImOst IL us thoukuIs', AZ ono
Inn, Lr wanted To get her to tnsland-ala s, II
would only h.vc been 10 weep over hi5 grave Al
another ne thou ,ht OF going nome to i've WITH heF
.,iter m,hiur his fortune. His tame he yalu d quite
a. mnch for The pleasure it gave the Old lazy rs
for the cash il br1ugh him in.
lie was Ine natural zoe Of big9lry rechsiil,i-,I
ism, and immortality of every klud There are many
6its at iypocritcs Journalists, sbas and religious
bui throughout the whole OF his works
YOU via not fined Oueeneer at virtue OF religion ana
~ tLrre Is not one really Loose or unguarded
tLou8lII. me Times said of his lecture on the Nor
80 III l. utterly free from oten,c though the op-
49,. -. If otl.Uc, are obviously numerOus; not
pu are hi, Jokes irresistible bat his shpwd remarks
nroc him to be aman Of reflection as well as cOGsun
- ~ Lunor,stD 'Inever stain my pages, writes
nt,",Is with even mild profanity IN the inst
tlace il is wicked, and in the second 1t Is not
funny.