davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31

MARK TWAIN,
His Experience as a School. Com
mitteema in a Frontier Village.


Some alleged Western man tells the
following Of Samuel L. Clemens, bet
ter known as Mark Twain:
"Butlhere was another little incident
which l call to mind. Old Bill Nye of
Nevada--everybody knows who he was
appointed Sam Clemens and School
Committeeman for our district. Well,
we had a few Piute young ones and one
or two white ones, enough to make q
nucleus, Sam said, so We hired female
teacher. She was considerable ON NOR
ais, andsl suspect that Sam had intima-
led that this branch OF their training
Should not be neglected Il was a
pretty barren soil to sow ideas on, but
the teacher was cute as they make 'em,
and bound to Llease and perhaps aston
ish the committeeman. So she goes to
work and stands them up like a lot
of sticks and practices moral instruc-
tion upon them. She always ranged
them in exactly the same order and,
like young colts, the youngsters soon
learned to know which was their partic-
ular stall or standing post. For boy
No. l she always had one question,
who made you?' Of course there was
hut one answer, and that was God.
This was the alpha and omega OF that
Youths moral requirements, 80 to speak.
Well, boy No. 2 wasn't any brighter,
and he had this question and answer
drilled into him: Who was the strong
eat man i was the ques ion. and Samson
was the answer. Boy No 8 was the son
of Piute squaw and white man. He
was dull and his ideas were terribly
difficult to cultivst'. So suppose for
that reason the schoolmarm assigned
him to say that Job was the most pa
tient man. Well, Sam came down one
day to sac how things were progressing
at school The teacher stood her three
particular pupils up in row on the side
of the log cabin, and, intimating that
the committeeman could pull out slo WY
on the catechism and moral instruction,
invited him to steam ahead. Boy No.
l, meantime, had complained of.faint-
ness, sudden feeling no doubt inspired
by Sans awful presence, and the teach
er excused him with the recommends
ton that he go out in the adjoining ten
acre lot and lie down in the grass till
be recovered. To boy No Sam now
addressed himself with the leading
question: Sonny, who made you 2
samson, sir, was the ready. reply. The
teacher blushed, and even Sam was ia
ken ahack. We'll, my boy. you can tell
who made you,' said Sam to boy No. 8.
Yes, sir; job Why, there must be
some little mistake here calculated Sam
in an undertone. Then back to boy No
2 he went with: Are Won sure. my little
man, that Samson made Jon ?" 'Oh,
yes, sir, because he was very strong
man fhento boy No. 5 DE put the I
question: Are you quite certain Job
made your oh, yes, piped the Piute
cherub, because Job was very patient
man. Why, you little rascals, don't
you know God made your No. sir,
replied the young Piute, greately alarm
ed, the boy God made is out in the ten
acre lot kicking up his heels and havin'
a bully time This ended Sans efforts !
at catechizing, and almost completely |
broke him as School Committeeman"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
A Fable by Bret Harte.

One of the chief defects of American
humor Is that it is so frequently leaven-
ed with strong dash of profanity
From this fault Mr.. Bret Harte is COM
paratively free, and even rigid Scotch
Presbyterian could hardly grudge a
laugh over the following:
THE SHARK AND THE PATRIARCH.
During the Deluge, as shark was
conducting thanksgiving service for
an abundant harvest, prudent Patri-
arch looked out and addressed him thus !:
"My friend, I am much struck with your
open countenance; pray come into the
Ark and make one of US. The proba-
bilities are a.falling barometer and heavy
rains throughout the region of the lower
universe during the next forty days.
"That is just the sort of hair-pin I am"
replied the shark, who hal cut several
rows of wisdom teeth; "fetch or your
deluges" About six weeks subst quent-
ly the Patriarch encountered him on the
summit Of Mount Ararat in very strait
ened circumstances.
MoRAL--You can't pretty much most
always tell how things are going to turn
out sometimes.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
Eating in Winter.

Gall classes should make good and
nutti.ious breakfast; should on no &C.
count neglect warm meal in the mid
die of the day; should make their third
not too late or too heavy, and try their
best to keep up. by an equal division of
food taking, constant maintenance Of
vitality and temperature. All uncertain
~ of food taking brings with it era.
wing for stimulants. There are cases
where little stimulating action should
be given between meals, but that is not
the principal staff to depend upon
Only that heat can be reckoned upon
which is brought forth by the assimila-
ton of we'll digested food with the
blood and only that heat gives us vigor
and strength to bear the most rigorous
winter weather.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
Hiring Dress Suits.

New York society is shocked at the
discovery that some of the charming
young men, who appear in irreproacha-
BILE evening dress at high-toned enter.
tainments,a ARE in the habit of hiring their
costumes from secondhand clothing
dealers. 1t becomes question with
this sort of swell, on receiving an invita-.
ton to fashionable party, whether be
shall pay $50 for coat or rent one for
the occasion for S. BEING usually I'M
pecunious, never-got-any. leash Young
man, he decides in favor of the latter.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
To Avoid smallpox Plttina.

The Medical Journal, Of London;
England, gives the following hint in the
treatment of smallpox;
When the preceding fever is at its
height, and just before the eruption ap-
pears, rub the chest with croton oil and
tartaric liniment. This causes the whole
of the eruption to appear on that part
of the body, to the relief of the rest
1t also secures full and complete erip.
ton and thus prevents the disease froth
attacking the internal organs, This is
now the established mode Of treatmen
in the English army In China and India,
J and is regarded as q perfect cure. -
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
LIFE.
! We are born; we laugh; we weep;

We are born; we laugh; we weep;
We love; we droop; we diel qgq7
Ali wherefore do we laugh or weep?
Why do we live or rdiep
Who knows that secret deepP
Alas not II - '51'sa
Why doth Ne violet spring
Unsesn bg human eye? .
Why do the radiant seasons bring
Sweet thoughts that quickly fyP
Why do our fond hearts cling
= To things that dief ze 5iEt
We toil-through pain and wrong,
We fght-snd fly;
We love; we lese; and then, gro long,
Stopeeisad We lie. tafe
30 zsss i az thy song s,t--sss,.4....s.,
sEndure and-die2"
De Corp,ceu.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31

"Mamie," he said. and his voice was
singularly low, "will you be my wife ?
Will you cling to me as the tender vine
clings to the" "Yes, l catch on" she
said.
A Western editor being asked by a
subscriber what was meant by the word
hydrogen, replied "Gin and water" and
explained that hydro was the French for
water.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
Estlietic Pigs.

An English writer says pigs love flow
ers. We have noticed this fondness for
flowers on the part of the pig. Should
the animal accidentally fad his way into
a garden containing one choice plant
among 500 weeds, he would instinclively
go for the flower and root it out OF its
little bed in the twinkling Of an eye, al
most. A pig won't thus admire ten
cent plant in the garden if there is five
dollar plant in the same enclosure-at
least it will pay its respects to the latter
first.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
i West Pointer on Whitaker.

A Western Congressman recently met
in st. Louis young man who was a
classmate OF Cadet Whitaker at West
Point, but who is not now in the army.
"Now,'' said the Congressman. "you
are no longer in the service and have no
interest in copcealing the facts, l want
you to answer question. Did Whitta-
ker cut his own ears p
mo. he did hot" was the reply, "but
he had to be got rid of in some way that
would prevent the sending Of any more
uiggers to West Point"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31

False friendship, like the ivy, decays
and ruins the walls it embraces; but true
friendship gives new life and animation
10 the object it supports.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
I.P. FARQUHAR. M. ID.
- 1,1azu;tfa 0hia

Physician and Surgeon,
Once and residence in the Walton property,
w 90 D SFIEL D, o H 70.
Having located at the above place, offers his
Professional services, where he hopes by
close attention to business to merit public
confidence and patronage.
Chronio Diseases vii, receive specisl
a,tsution. may4,':5Y
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31

NY little boy, four years old, said to
me, "Mamma, what is the name Of that
town on the left hand of God, where the
wicked people go2 II can't think"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
A1uehm
THE OPEN CHEST.

Sadly stepped to my mothers room
She had travelled away, and came home nj
more:
Now she lay in the quiet tomb
Lonely and orphaned my heart was sore.
Her chest stood open; found it to-day
Just as she had left it, in haste to depart;
Things strewed about, in the usual way.
When horses wait at the door to start.
There lay her prayer-book. open wide,
With household bills. in her writing fair;
And left from her breakfast. the day she died,
A morsel Of cake still orumbled there.
The prayer read where the pages lay turn
ed
My trembling heart now bent in fear
The prayer of a mother whose spirit yearned
For heavenly blessing on children dear.
I read the writing her hand had traced
No longer my pain might be suppressed
Read her figures and tore in haste
joys reckonings from my aching breast.
I gathered up, with pious care,
Each tiniest crumb of her little cake;
Ate of the choking inorsel there,
And wept till my heart was like to break.
Temple Bar, from Lsnay.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-31
,Aavertising. Rates;


One square, III Z lines.) one week. VI 90
Eachsubsequsnt insertion tor.hye weeks, 30
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0ne column, one week. I'D %
Bnero0lumn one month, - 1870
6ne eolumn. three months, 30 GO
enc oolutnn, SIX months, % 90
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Legal advertisements charged at the rate
of one dollar per square for first insertion, and
City cents for each subsequent insertion.
Administrator's or Executors, Attachment
and Road Notices, $2 90.
Local Notices, per; line. first insertion. 10
cents, snd Eve cents per line for each addition
week.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
The Markets,

BALTIMORE, Aug. 31-virginia Is deferred -;
do consolidated 59i4 do second series -; past
due coupons So new 104Os 421b bid today.
Cotton quiet; middings 127sa13. Flour un,
changed and fairly active Wheat-Southcrn lower
and active; Western lower and weak: Southern
red 1OSa1 II; do amber 112a116; No Md Jig
asked No Western winter red spot 11Oa11O9,
August 11Oll bid; Sept 110Iaai1O3.; October
l i2a1 1154; Nov 123sa1127s; Dec 113ata114
Corn--S"uthcrn quiet and steady Western dull
Southern white S5aS6: do yellow nominally IS
Western mixed spot So Sept S4a,a95 Oct SPA
81; Nov and or Dec 704a71. Oats shade better
Southern l2a46 do red rust proof 40; West
ern white 41a43 do mixed 3Sa4O; Pcnna 4Oa45
Rye quct at 65a6S. Hay unchanged Coffee
dull Rio cargoes ordinary to fair St,a9A. Sugar
quiet; 4 soft 9''s. Whiskey steady at 81 19a1 30
New YORK. Aug. 31.--Stocks very dull Money
.: Cotton quiet; uplands - 1916; Orleans 1871,
Flour dull and heavy. Wheat heavy and 1aaa1c
lower. Corn-Cash and Aug 2a5c higher; Others
l4alac lower.
CHICAGO, Aug. 31.-Whcat at II o'clock was
ttic lower. Corn 12a1a.c lower. The greatest
drop was on Nov Oats 1l4c lower for Aug; lac
lower for other months
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
To-DAY's TELEGRAPHIC DISPATCHES
Egyptian News.

LONDON, Aug. 3l.-A dispatch to the daily
News from Constantinople says: evidence
abounds that the Turkish population is ia.
vorable to Arab Pacha
The Taket announces that'a great victory
has been won by Arab Pacha.
The Dj"'7de states that the British have
lost 1000 men in a fight at Ramleh Other
lying reports are industriously circulated"
The Pal MAI Gazette ofthis evening saws
no confirmation of reports concerning nego-
tlatIons between Arab Pacha and Gen.
"olseley have been received by the govern
ment, and they are believed to be unfound-
cd
y dispatch to the Daily Chronicle from
Fort said dated at 7:45 a. IN. to-day saws ::
Arab Pacha has asked for all eight davis
armstice Gen. Wolseley refused, but offer
ed an armstice for one day. Nothing, how
ever, will be done for several days unless
Arab again forces our hands"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
LOCAL BREyITIEs

MIR. 4. i. Pettitt, while ut work on a steam
tug. Yesterday, was struck on the head by a fly-
ing piece OF iron and badly bruised
The bark &. +. Ward arrived here today Ia
Mrs5rS /. A. Reed 4 Co., to load coonrrapr for
Cuba
The Jail of Fairfax county has been with
ont prisoners for the past six months, which
fact is pointed to with pride by Fairfax
erS.
The oyster season opens tomorrow. the
law allowing the catching of oysters for
sale from the LIST Of September to the 18th of
April.
Mrs Judge J. H. Gray. of Munson Hill,
Fairfax county, is visiting at the residence
of her son-in-law, Deputy Collector of the
Port l.. l.. johnson, on Duke street.
Norman Jenkins. of this city, has bean
awarded the contract for the brick work on
the new residence Of Mr.. John Swift, in
Maryland, opposite this city.
Charles Baggett, son of Mr.. BENJAMIN
Bagsett, who was badly injured about the
face while cunning yesterday by the prcma
lnrc explosion OF an ovcrchar@ed GUN, was
much better this morning
\ marriage license was ISSUED in Washi,rs.
ton yesterday To VIM. H. Newly. of Eliy,.
beth. \. c., and Mary McKenny. of Slaun-
ton, Va.
\ match game of base ball was played in
this city yesterday afternoon between Mount
Vernon nine second nine of the Associa
ton and picked nine, resulting in favor of
the Mount Vernon nine by score of - to-
l4I permits were granted to-day to color
cd children to enter the public schools The
clerk will be ut his Office again tomorrow
to grant permits TO such colorcd children AZ
may apply.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
Child Mnrdprar.

PETERSBURG, Va, Aug 3l-Isaac Booth
who murdered his child in Brunswick coun-
ty,Was arraigned for trial at this term Of
the County Court. but because ofthe absence
OF AN important witness for the Common
wealth the case will be continued to the
next term of the Court. The murder was
most alrocious one, the child having been
Drained by IN ax in the hands of its father.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
Missing Child Found.

New YORK, Aug. 3O.-A dispatch was re-
ceved at police headquarters this morning
from the acting superintendent of the
Brooklyn police, stating that the missing
child, little Lizzie Seldom, and the woman
who abducted her had been found by a de-
tective in BROOKLYN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
MARINE NEWS.

PORT OF ALEXANDRIA, AUGUST 81, 1852,
sun risc'............. . 20 Sun sets. g. 81
ARRIVED
Str George Lcary, Norfolk to b Hooe
BARK I Ward, Baltimore, to f 4 Reed l. Co.
Schr Cumberland, Windsor, S, to WIN 4 Smoot
& Co.
schr Aradnc, Windsor, S, to VIM A Smoot
& Co.
Schr NJ V Dunkcn, Baltimore, to Fl BRYANT,
SAILED.
Str George Leary, Norfolk by B Hooc
Str MattanO, lower Potomac. by Lauuon.
Str 1 Arrowsmith, lower Potomac, by Poto.
mac Ferry Co.
ARRIVED AT WASHINGTON
Schrs Marcia Reynolds, Vim Mason, Maggie J
smith, Sherman, all with ice: VIM oliver. and
Martha Skinner, coal
MEMORANDA.
Brig Sarah & Emma for Richmond. cleared
from New York Both
Schrs Hattie Baxter and John Fl Converse from
Richmond, at Boston Both
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
Professor Aliens Funeral.

plIILApEI.rlIIA August ;i1.-rhc remains of
tine late President Allen, of Giram College, will
he inferred Tomorrow ut Laurel Hill At o'clock
IN the afternoon there will he funeral services in
the chapel of the college for the officers. pupils
and graduates of the institution, at the close of
which the body will he moved to the Broad and
Arch Streets Methodist Church, where public
service will hr held at 3 o'clock.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
Sarah Barnl,nrdt.

BRADFORD, Eng, Aug. 3l.-Sarah Bern
hardt, after performing as Adrienne Lacour-
rcur here yesterday evening, was seized with
splitting Of blood, and was for two hours
unconscious. She is now somewhat better.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
BarbaIous Crime

LANCASTER, Ohio, Aug 3l.--NIiss Belle
Bowers was arrested yesterday for the MUIR
der Of an infant child. The babe was born
in wheat field, and the liendsh mother
took it by the legs and knocked its brains
out against fence post
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31

PEErAEI%G FOR DEFEAT.-IEc Malone
rrldiu3trr congressional committee OF this
district. appointed At the late convention OF
the party mel in secret session at the old
Courthouse in this city this afternoon. There
were present: Ben Austin and A.Whalcn,
Of Alexandria county; :. }. Wimsatt and ID.
\. Windsor. Of Alexandria city; VIM. Ayrc
aud Job HawXhurst, Of FaraX;G. ". Hogr
ulld owen Holmes, of l.oudoun: \. W. Crisis
Ter, oi Madison: T.. y. Stevens. of Orange; 4.
4 Bell and w. H. E,g@horn. of Culpeper:
v. {. kyMnrry. Of Clarke; !. 4. Jones and
j. l.. Hur.e.. Of Frederick; W. \. Pattie
and Ju,i.r >humalr. oil Falquicr, and K. K.
FAir. oi Fairfax. the candidate for Congress.
DWv! iiu!lm,: Wn:, elected chairman. =. }.
N>u~"it. secretary. and Job IfawXhUrst.
treasurer. Nn executive committee, con-
si,:iH" g.: The three above named and Judge
Shumatr ani f. y. Stevens. was also
elected.
There. Wa good deal of talk and some
sort Ola campaign programme mapped out.
The COMMITTEE. then adjourned.
;"ryr.al members Of the committee de-
r!agrt that ~" subject Of finances had not
yet been juu.nrd ;ipor, the inference being
ina! l." money has yet arrived from Wash
inGtun
There va report that the meeting was
called ~ ru.si,rr the advisabi!ly Of with
DRAWN" farr from the contest, but ii is I'M
dcraiuud that that question was not brought
up uMr prominent rcadjustcr has been
heard To say that farr'S withdrawal has
been talked OF.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
Einannfal

New YORK, Aug. 31.-Thc stock market open
I'd irregular, the changes. however, being only
fractional As compared with yesterdays closing
prices. In the early dealings the market was dull
and heavy and prices fell oil L,a1as per cent.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31

MIsCEGENATIoN.-M Mag Lucas, white, and
John Mumps. black very black who for
Il long time lived together in this city, in
the petersburg" and "Buzznrtl RooSt' Sec
tions, as man and wife, were arrested in
Alexandria county yesterday, where they
had established themselves. for their vile
conduct, and taken before Justice F. NJ.
Mills who committed them to Jail in default
of the payment of fines of $50 each. The
Lucas women, supposed to be in dying
condition, was granted a permit to enter
the Aims House from this city a few years
ago.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
Yellow Fever

GALVESTON. Ten, Aug. 3l.-A special dispatch
to the Nr"S from Matamoras says: There is no
change in the epidemic here. The cases are moro
catering. There are two hundred cases of fever
in Ihr riiv
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
The Greeks the Aggressors.

LONDON, Aug. 3l.-A Vienna dispatch to
the Times says: "According to information
received here it seems to be undoubtcd that
the Greeks were the aggressors in the 'front.'
Ter ujlli,S -
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31

COUNTERFEIT BANK NoTEs.-Counterfeit
tcn.dollar notes of the Traders National
Bank, of Chicago; Merchants National of
New Bedford, Mass: LIST National, of Can
ton, Ill.,. and ten-dollar notes of The 1st Ma
tiona of Poughkecpsie, n. v, and the High
land National. Of Newburg, y. V. are in
circulation i'm this CITY.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31

GIG"i.EES At \ RELIGIOUS MEETING
One night this week Il meeting was held in
Shiloh Baptist Church, colored, at which
there was II iilli attendance. The preacher
had concluded his discourse. and Il solemn
feeling prevailed. when an old brother,
John Wood. thinking it Il good time to make
an appeal iur the suffering arose and read
4 letter from Il sick and distressed sister in
Nancmtnn. The old man in the goodness
OF his heart thought it proper to supplement
the letter with Il few remarks. "Brcthrcn
and sisters, said he, this sister couldnot be
in Il N"I-r condition had she been feeding
ON nothing hu; dry soda crackers, which
You ali know Is a food hard 10 digest No
medicine she can take will produce an"
The sisters here commenced uig"linr,
and one old tat woman laughed right
ont. Soon nearly the whole congre-
CATION Ms III @ig%iinG state, and the old
man was compelled to stop talking about his
sick sister. Deacon 'rIman Giles, seeing
nothing /" laugh III. took down the names
OF Henrietta Pines, Mary Coleman, and 9TH
crs of the %i"@lcr>, and Vim. lIacklrv, who
was seen to "licklc' some of the sisters to
keep tn" %i@%lim% up, and had them all sum
m"nrd before Justice WhitllcSry yesterday
afternoon. The Justice after list cning1u the
story OF Deacon TilmAn dismissed all the
parties wit'i i rrI'gmund.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31
COMMERCIAL.

ALEXANDRIA MARKET, August 31--Thc mar.
kct Is fairly active, though We have no change Of
Importance to make in the price of Flour, which
Is in limited demand. The offerings of Wheat
amounted TO about 1000 bushels, which were
taken ut looalO7 for Fultz, los for mixed ana
lo9 for Lancaster: Very little Corn coming in
and quotations from SSa9O Small sales of Rye
at IS, and few bushels of Oats BROUGHT 20
Nothing doing in other things
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-08-31

- QrEESsTowN CATTLE MARKET, August 30
Ihr offerings for the week amounted to So Cattle
o3O Sheep and Lambs and 3 Mich Cows Cattle
sold at Ia5 &c per lb; Sheep Bad lsc per III. Lamb,
i'=l6c per ID; Milch Cows S25aSl5 per head The
market opened very sluggish for all kinds of
stock, but rs it progressed Cattle were taken more
freely than expected with all the offerings sold,
while Sheep and Lambs remained dull with con
siderable number left over unsold