Daily Los Angeles herald., 1882-05-07
FUN, FACT AND FANCY.

The phonetic method would speak of
concert to take place at the Keno.
Enquirer: What does the corner of a
card turned down mean? Means the
other fellows cheating. Watch him!
Caution inherited: "Can't you trust
me, darling?' murmured Spilkins to the
daughter of old Money-lender. "Not
without real estate security" replied Is
abel, absent-mindedly.
s'The American Kiss" is announced as
the title of a book to be published soon.
Now let us have a volume on 1.-THE
American Smile; or, The Bar-keeper's
Guide. Chico Record.
1t is estimated that it costs SIG per
minute to operate the Union Pacific Rail
road and its branches, but the train of
thought which led up to such steep
conclusion is not yet open to the public.
Question answered: Miss Henrietta
Dewcome: In answer to your question
about ''unkissed kisses, we may say we
are prepared to unkiss any kisses that
we may have kissed outside of the family
for the last five years.
A law court in Rome has tried Nine.
Bernhardt for two contraventions of the
iaw--first in having issued more tick cts
for a representation than the theatre
would hold, and next for having, in de-
rogation of precautions against fire,
closed several doors for the convenience
of her controllers.
Out in Deadwood they put off lynch
ing two hours to accommodate the So
ciety reporter of a local paper who
wanted to be present. but who was ell
gagged to attend the tarring and feather
ing of Chinaman at that time. Even
the social lions of Deadwood like to have
their doings reported.
Victor Hugo is real modest. When
told of the death of Emile de Girardin,
he said "All men of that strong gener-
alton of 1880 are passing away, one
after another. My turn will, perhaps,
come soon l am ready. We must
make room for others. 1t is time for
me to cease to fill the world"
Drunkenness is no excuse for crime. I"
That is the theory of the law. There
can be no question, however, that the
vitality of the maxim has been sapped
by modern practice under the doctrine
that if one is so drunk as to be uncon-
scious of the criminality of his act, the
intent to do wrong cannot be established.
The Castle of Chillon has another mys-
terious prisoner. Bonivard's successor
is lady ''forty years old, said to be a
Russian;' and her offence is that she
tried to shoot German from Magdeburg
as he sat ON the terrace in front of his
hotel at Glion. She seems to have done
SO under q misapprehension. She thought
he was Nihilist.
An Ohio suitor, unable to make the
young woman say yes, threatened to
shoot himself in her prisenee. Thereup-
on she relented. But next day, having
considered the matter carefully, she
wrote to him that she would not keep
the promise made under. coercion, and
that, while she strongly advised him
against suicide, she should feel no re-
sponsibility about him. He blew his
brains out.
A Western editor offered prize of $50
and years subscription for the best
written proposal of marriage from lady.
He picked out nice proposal from a
beautiful and wealthy widow, answered
it accepting the proposal, and with the
threat of a breach of promise suit actu-
ally captured her. Editors may not ac
quire wealth by writing twenty-three
hours a day, but when their genius
takes the right shoot, they procure the
persimmon.
A fSt. Louis dog, recently deceased,
was property holder His estate con-
sisted of house and lot left to him by
his deceased master. There was trus-
tee, of course, but the income was con-
scientiously spent in paying for the ami
mails food, lodging, and attendance. He
was handsome spaniel, and was not
made vain by his wealth, but associated
freely with common dogs. At his death,
few days ago, the trustee had him
buried in costly coffin, a hearse con-
veying the remains quite tremendously
to the family cemetery.