The Red Cloud chief., 1882-10-13
ssD. u.ss.,. IN xI.i p..s...

"De useSsls M Xlsi Dsesas
Why shoaid Ne "ssy soihiag bsl
good Of the desdy' ~ all the i-nossas
. ily and absurd maxims cver mana
isesurcd thsf one 10 the worst Esp-
c;aliy Is I, 20 be d~cprecssed teesass u /
apfarcnily prompted BIZ . Kind. forSis
Ing and gcnerous spirit and is. there
fore. calculated 10 appeal to she iano
cent. the snihinking and the genesoa'
minded. We viii bet . dscss that Tbs
nan ~no bssilt that maxlna vas sorns
mean. .msitsouled .coenirei who was
entity o. rascsiities that he WAITED CIV,
cred up when hc died
We s~iie.e in throwing the mantle ol
charity over the dead. and wh~n = mau
dies we do not believe Ia Publishing 10th
world ali the frail;ies and ec~renrsciis.
81 his ehar.efer tina: resulted in piae.n-
him. during life. In jail or the L. sls'
ture. We do not b-iiev- iha: all lad
ing citizens after they die play on even
electro-piatcd harps. aud We cannot un'
derstand ,hs, ;herc Is any sense In *.
pec,ing public Journalists 10 rrct-nd
they believe the deceased WAS . man q!
atwood virtues. entitiing him 20 \ glo
rious immortalit, beyond the sunset
glow. where hi. creditors will ceis
from troubling and the weary tax col
hector will not break ,krouyh and steal
When some Insignificant Alderman
die., why should established custom de.
mand that the editor Of the local paper
should array himself in ssckc'oih snI a
gum coat and write n gorgeous ob.iairy.
IN which he tres To show that the ab-
enc OF the deceased will leave The world
Iop-sidcd. while he knows that he dpes
not believe what he says. and that tho
readers do not believe IL. and even the
deceased would no, believe il. and
would blush 10 see il i'm type.
We can understand that IL is n secmly
thing for the living To refrain from rak-
ing up old grievances regarding the
dead. and letting bygoncs be bygoies;
but it is entirely beyond our comprc.
hension why the living should pretend
Ia sec virtues in the dead tha, they
know the dead never possessed or had a
soul large enough to appreciate. II is
true. however. tina,
Custom does often r-ssoa override
And oniy serves for reason tn the fool"
We recall n circumstancc that goe, TO
prove what n hollow sham obi uaries
usually are. In the Office Of the DIRTY
Argus one night there was brolght in
news Of the death Of q loca! Justice of
the Peace. named Schumerhpf. The
managing editor told the local editor TO
''give the remains a ~gilt-cdged scad-
or" The local editor was n compare
tive stranger in the town and had never
heard of the deceased before. he
sharpcned his pencil and began:
1t IL our painful duty To rccori the death
Of our esteemed townsmsn. Judge Car. schu-
merhon. He ded this evening Mt seven
%siosI so 1 i,ass xi,s t Gs,, t an f" ~ na%. Illness
Then be turned TO the night-disI atch
editor and said: "What Kind Of an old
landmark was Schumerhoa?"
"Old Schumerhof, why he was q
money by parsimonious economy and
usury-a regular money-lending. two
percent. n month Shylock; came here
from Germany years ago. There are
lots of people won't be bowed down
with grief when they hear he is gone"
Then the local editor continue | the
obituary
Judge schumcrhoH came from tn, Faith r.
land when he was quite young. Although Of
an old AM prominent family In Germany n
WAS poor. hut by energy and enterprise, com.
bin al with a liberal. progressive policy la bust-
ness, he a-nas-ca a hand-orae e mp ,tcnc,. n
can truly he sad OF h m thai ne was the
architect Of his own fortune. such men mr.,
scarce I'm these days. and the In igs's p,tc, in
society and business c rc,cs will not he easily
hlicl His death has cast u gio M over the
Mir tppr N ~ a.
Had he q family?'
EYES. and he used to bang his wife
around and pound her black an! blue
until she got n divorce. but YOU need
not dwell on that point. YOU know. for
he was appointment citizen and well
connected"
Tho was an excellent husband. a
'.How did You say his morals were,"
Morals he didn't have any. He was
\ regular old rip"
"a u.efnl AMI exemplary mcnher ~ society,"
How was he politically''
well, he used TO be red-hot Know
nothing. but lately he was q Green
hacker"
although We have been obliged 10 differ
" Oh him politically, yet we cannot lot this on.
portun " pass without psytng n q: tribaie
VI ms sincsrity- He was q man o. = mpittty
OF character and ib.rai ways in political
matters"
Ibid he ever hold any officer"
"No; never was anything but a JUS
tice of the Peace. He was too unpopular
to be elected to anything. although he
was always running for something"
And his many excellent qualities at head
and heart eudeasei him to nj, who knew him.
HIS mos,c>t and unassuminx manner Prevented
him from taking that active part I'm p shticr. or
re civiug the rewards ~ Off. that his merit.
and billy deserved"
"Say. you might hint. in that obit-
uary. that old Schumerhof Il having a
warm reception II he has gone to where
he deserves"
"while all that is mortal Of Judge q. lies IN
the cold embrace OF death, NJ hts lifc residence.
the immortal has gone Ia pat oa tmmortahty In
a better land. where there ava q him the re-
warts of an upright msn. "a jlst Jud n. and .
Chr.stian citizen. After HES ntfui fever he
sleeps welt"
And then old Schumerhof had a
pompous funeral. a giided monument
and a lying epi,aph. all in keeping with
the obituary the .Aryus published
7eras SiJtings.