The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-07-24
Wit and Wisdom.

| seemed likely TO do the pest they ever DID,
Young Farmer, in Boston journal.
Wit and Wisdom.
Young America: First proud mother
my boy is only II years old, and he comes in
every day with his pockets full of fruit. He
| can get over the top of any fence they can put
| up, the darling! Second proud mother
"Pooh for your boy! Why, my Jimmy is only
| 10, and he's corner loafer and has been to the
| police court twice" louisville Courier
Journal.
Your wife would not be compelled to leave
home to get rested if she owned the "Domes-
tic'' II Elm street.
1t was Jean Paul who said 'to love early
and marry late is to hear a lark singing at
| dawn, and at night eat it roasted for supper. y
The public lacks not genuine remedy for
| skin diseases in GLENN's SULPHUR SOAP.
"HnL's HAIR DYE" black or brown, fifty
cents.
1t is appropriate to refer to the spanker boom
when whole primary school is whipped for
| some general misdemeanor.
| No DISAPPOINTMENT. - Virgins Pellets
have an inherent power to cure DysDep STA,
Constipation, Piles, Sick or Nervous Head
ache, and all diseases of the Stomach, Bowels
and Liver. Never surpassed in the history of
| medicine. Sufferers, try them, and ye will
suffer no more. Fifty cents bottle at drug
gists. Sent by mail on receipt OF price.
Miss Sawyers salve, as noao prepared, beats
the world. Twenty-Five cents box. Sent by
| mail.
WIGG1N & Co., Proprietors, Rockland Me.
England's Alexandrian fleet appears to be
able to sail right over the Bey.-Picayune.
We are persuaded that the ancient Hermes
with all the su otle art and natural resources of
the Alchemists, was very poor doctor COM
pared with Mrs. Lydia E.. Pinkham, of Lynn,
Mass. Hermes may have been after all only a
clever practitioner OF the Black Art; but we
know there is no humbug in the pharmaceuti-
cal chemistry of Mrs. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
Boston established the first board of Traid-
at the commencement of the revolution.-Cin-
cinnati Saturday Night.
Is your scalp full of dry, husky scales and
| little pimples? DR.. Benson's Skin Cure will
cleanse your scalp and remove all scales and
tenderness within six days. Try it, for it is
the best head-dressing ever used. 81 per pack
age, at all druggists.
1t has been discovered that the castor-oil
plant will drive away flies. Yet some people
say that flies can't Philadelphia
News.
Digestion and assimilation are perfected in
all cases by "Wheat Bitters,' the great blood,
brain and nerve food.
After man has been Rugged nearly to
death by sin he turns around and embraces re-
lgion.-N. Y. Commercial Advertiser.
Making Raise.
John Hays, Credit, P. O., says that for nine
months he could not raise his hand to his head
through lameness in the shoulder but by the
use of THOMAS EcLEcTRIc OIL he was entire
ly cured
"And what makes my little Johnny SO cross
this morning." asked devoted mother the
other day. "Dot up s. urly," was the innocent
reply.-Exchange, which thinks that age inn
proves good joke.
1t does not cure everything! but kidney
troubles and many other complaints to which
flesh is heir yield gracefully to the life-giving
properties constituting Hop and Malt Bitters.
People who have become discouraged should
resort to this new remedy.
A Chicago editor had an experience with a
cat which turned out to be something else.
When he got over it little so he could speak,
he remarked: "My lord what q hand that crit
ter would be to write political editorials. -
Boston Post
Rorsford's Acid Phosphate for Alcohol
ism.
DIR. P. P. GILMARTIN, Detroit, Mich,
says: IT have found it very satisfactory in its
effects, notably in the prostration attendant
upon alcoholism"
A father scolds his son for his numerous,
youthful errors. Greatly, father, you Wee
once young. Did you never frolic?'' s'Neve'r.'
said the father, with amelancholy sigh; "w hen
was young had no money, and when I be-
OAA4AN
Wheat Bitters reach every part of the hui
man body, through the blood. Do not fail to
give them trial.
A hat Irritation is the latest idiocy among the
girls. There is no way that man can wear a
hat that doesn't mean sonnet hing, and the only
way you're safe is to go bareheaded. Boston
Post.
That weak back or pain in the sides or hips
you will find Immediately relieved when a Hop
Plaster is applied. 1t strengthens the mus
Giles, giving the ability to do hard work with
out suffering. Take none but this, tits sure
The fashionable canes for gentlemen have
hammered copper heads Come to think of it
there were q good many hammered copper
heads in Philadelphia during the wsr. Boys
in blue hammered them.-Philadelpri News.
Not an alcoholic beverage, but a true and
reliable family medicine is Browns Iron Bit
tiers.
"Wheres the nearest place for me to get
shaved, boy?' cover to the brokers', yon-
der" replied the boy, pointing to three gilt
balls over doorway.
MONTHS Of nausea are spared to women who
use Healy's Vegetable Tonic Cordial; it helps
mother and child. See adyt on this page.
CEPHALINE relieves at once Hysteria. 'Ner-
vous Spasrns, and st. Vitus Dance.
One of the greatest trials in young lady's
life is when she tries TO get half gallon foot
into quart shoe.
Corns cause more suffering than neuralgia.
German Corn Remover easily cures them 25c.
Druggists.
''It is the little bits ov things that fret and
worry u.s. says Josh Billings: "We kan dodge
an elephant but we kant fly
CongEess Yeast Powder contains no alum,
ammonia, terra alba, or any other injurious