davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press., 1882-03-15

mother-in-laW. Fathers-in-law have no bad
regulations anywhere May not say this
is because they have too much tact to inter-
fere, too much tact to notice trif1es, too much
tact 10 be fussy and irritating in matters that
should wisely be let alone? Does not any
woman realize how much tact men are found
to exhibit in order to successfully keep their
places in life? 1t has been shrewdly doub
ed, you know, whether clubs would be
possible with women, not merely because
they have not the club disposition, but be-
cause they they cannot abide together with
out getting into hostile divisions It takes
good deal Of tact to meet daily on familiar
and equal terms with numerous persons and
keep all irritating things out Of sight The
club is possible in the highest civilization
only, because nothing but the self-repression
that comes of the highest social training,
permits men of diverse interests and tastes
to come together harmoniously. The club
affords an excellent lest of tact, and if men
are better adapted than women for club life
if they can live together in this way with
out collisions-they have established the pos
session Of tact more effectually than even the
requirements of the drawing room establish
it for women.
The river press., 1882-03-15
A Visit to she Maginnis Mines.

Herman Clark, the railroad contractor,
who has supply store at Coulson, says Ma
ginnis is bound to be mineral center of
great richness. During the last couple or
three months large quantities of goods have
been purchased at his store and shipped to
the camp. Recently he sent one of his men
to Visit the new diggings, who, in due course
of time, returned with the most extravaganza
ly favorable report. He found large and
prosperous settlement of miners. prospect
ors, merchants and others there. Green
backs and gold dust were circulated in abun-
dance. Everything, in fact, was indicative
of flush camp. 1t is Mr.. Clark's opinion
that the Maginnis mines will be the center
of big gold excitement during the present
season. Old miners from every section Of
of Montana, from Colorado and the Black
Hills are already slipping quietly into that
region. The placer grounds there, which as
yet have only been prospected, it is calculat-
ed will pan out bushels of dust this spring,
and give to Maginnis boom equal to the
biggest. Bismarck Tribune.
The river press., 1882-03-15
An Of.Hnnd Way to Measure an Acre

An OTHnnd Way to Measure an Acre.
Few farmers know the size Of their fields
or how many acres they contain. A field of
the writer's, before it came into his posses
sion, had been sowed and reaped by contract
for fifteen acres. On measuring it was found
to have but twelve acres. 1t is desirable, in
fact it is indispensable for good work, that a
farmer should know how many acres each
field contains, for otherwise he cannot ap-
portion seed or manure for it, nor can he tell
how much time it should require to be plow-
ed. A measuring cord should be part of
the furniture on every farm. To make one
procure sixty-seven feet of strong rope, one
inch around make loop or fasten ring
or bar at each end, and make these pre-
cisely sizty-six feet apart. This is four rods.
Then tie a piece of red rag in the center.
One acre Of ground will be piece four of
the cords (chains) long and two and one-halt
wide, equal to sixteen by ten rods, making
100 square rods to one acre. The advantage
Of the ring or loop is that one person can
measure alone by driving stake in the
ground to hold the:.rope while be stretches it
out The rope should be soaked in tar and
dried, which will prevent it from shrinking
when wet.
The river press., 1882-03-15
No Bad Fathers.in.Law.

No doubt it is more difficult for woman
to suppress her indignation, to conceal irrl-
tation, to ignore unpleasantness, to feel or
affect indifference; but you see, madam, we
are not inquiring into causes, bat as to the
fact. Women are declared to have more
tact than men so they have in some social
things, but in important things I think not.
1t is, for instance, the lack Of tact ,on the
part of women that sets clique against Clique
in congregations and church societies of all
kinds: that causes almost all associations or
ganizsd by women to break up in differences;
that keep SO many people in hot water in
family hotels and boarding houses, or where
ever lovely woman predominates. It is to
lack Of tact that we owe the traditional
The river press., 1882-03-15
THE SUN.
NEW YORK, 1852.

THE SUN for 1882 will make its fifteenth annual rev.
olution under the present Management. shining, as al
ways for big and little, and gracious contented
and unhappy, Republic n aud Democrat depraved and
virtuJus intelligent obtuse. The SUNS hight Is
for mankind and womankind of every sort; but its
genial warmth is for the good, while ii hot dis
comfort On the bistering backs of the perlssently
wicked.
THE SUN of 1868 was a newspaper of new kind 1t
discarded OF the forms and a multitude OF the
SUI eruous words and phrases OF ancient Journa ISM
It undertook to report iD fresh succinc unconven
ional way all the Of the world, omltting no
event Of human interest, and commenting upon affairs
with the earlessness of absolute independence. The
Of this experiment. was the success OF the SUN
1t effected permanent chang in the style OF American
newspapers Every Important Journal established in
this country in the dozen ye past has been model ed
after the SUN Every important journal already exist
ing has been modified and betered by the force of the
SUNS example
The SUN Of 1882 will be the same outspoken. truth
telling and interesting newspaper.
BY liberal use of the means which an abundant
prosperity affords, we shall make it better thin ever
before
We shall print all the news, putting it into readable
shape, and measuring its importance by the trad
onal yardsek but by its real interest to the people,
Distance from Printing House Square is not the first
consider alton with the sun. Whenever nythng hap
pens worth reporting get the particulars whether
it happens in Brooklyn Or in Bokhara-
In politics have deeided opA ons and are accus
toned to express them in language thBt can be under
stood. We say what we think of men and events
hat habit is the only secret OF the SUn's polit cal
course
The WEEKLY SUN gather into eight pages the best
m after of the daily ssnes. An Agricultural
Department IF uneqnaed m rit, full market reports,
and liberal pr, portion OF literary scientific and do
mestic intelligence complete the WEEKLY SUM- and
make it the best newspaper for the farm,rs house-
hold that was printed.
If our idea of what newspaper should be pleases
you, send tor the SUN.
Our terms follows:
For the daily SUN four-page sheet of twenty
colunns the price by mail, postpaid, is 55 cents a
month, S6- 80 year; or, including the Sunday
paper, an eght-page sheet Of fty-six columns, the
age paid,
The sunday edition of the Sun is also furnished
separ tely at Sa 20 year. postage pail
The price of the Weekly SUN eight pages, ffty-ax
columns is I'll year, postage pad, For clubs of ten
sending ske we will send an extra COPY free
Address / w. ENGLAND,
Publisher of TIE SUN, New York City.
The river press., 1882-03-15
The Largest Cave on Earth.

The great cave lately discovered here, says
the Grayson, KY, advocate, has been visited
by multitude of people from various points
of the United States. We think that Leitch-
field is destined to become the great Mecca"
of the world-for the Masonic fraternity, and
scien tisss generally.
For the last two weeks no one has been
admitted to the cave except upon presenting
a written permit from Mr.. Rodgers. and those
who have been fortunate enough to obtain
admission have been principally scientists
from abroad, who journeyed here to see the
great wonder for themselves. 1t was really
necessary TO take this step, as the cave was
rapidly being dispoiled Of its contents. In
deed, several of the mummies and some Of
the smaller Masonic emblems were carried
Off before Mr.. Rogers-or in fact any Of our
citizens-realized the importance of the dis
covery, and of preserving the contents of the
cave intact The subterranean river has
been so swollen from the excessive rains of
the last month that no explorations have been
made IN the avenues beyond it. Excavations
have been made, however, in the chambers
or catacombs where the nlummies and Ma
sonic emblems were found, and in the vicin-
ity of the pyramid, and several tablets with
queer hieroglyphics have been dug up, also
some bronze and copper vases, and pieces of
pottery. A mound was open and found to
contain six well-preserved mummies, repos-
ing in regular order with feet radating from
the centre.
In the discovery of this cave the key is un-
doubtedly found that will unlock the mys-
terry of the prehistoric races Of America,
and also prove their identity with the ancient
Egyptian race, who undoubtedly crossed
over and peopled this continent, built tenn
pies, and fourished in high degree of civil
ization until wiped out Of existence by the
ruthless hand of the savage. The caves of
Kentucky undoubtedly furnished them shell
ter and protection, and were used as sort
of catacomb for all that was near and dear
to them, including their illustrious dead. Such
at least seems to have been the case in this
instance, whether this theory will apply to
the other caves of Kentucky or not.
Many beautiful formations have been dis
covered during the last week. The stalactites
and stalagmites gllsten like SO many millions
of diamonds. The pillars and columns of
alabaster are beautiful beyond description,
and it's wonders will have to be seen to be
appreciated.
The news., 1882-03-23

house and tore down the street with
his head sunk in his shoulders and his
fists in his pockets.
In an hour he returned all grins
and set parcel in his wife's lap.
"Now, my dear what do you think
of that2" he asked cheerily.
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the
parcel aud disclosed huge crimson
silk handkerchief that would have
made tabernacle tent for a camp
meeting.
Chow did you come to think of it2"
she asked, holding it up admiringly.
"Wh7," replied Mr.. Spoopeudyke,
che said in the letter if / couldn't
think of anything else to get hand
some handkerchief. Here it is" and
Mr. Spoopendyke drew out the letter
triumphantly.
"But he don't say handkerchief;
he says a nice handkerchief ring!
Here's the ring on the next line" said
Mrs. s. mildly setting her thumb on
the last word.
'Dod CAST the dodgasted womanr"
he howled. why don't he write
plain? Why didn't you tell me be-
fore what he wanted7 What did you
let me break my neck for this flag for,
when he wanted ring? If / didn't
have more sense than you've otPd
stick broken glass on my head and
hire out for the back of an idiot
asylumW
Mr.. s., dove into bis chair and
snored Justify until bed time.
Anyhow" thought Mrs. s., as
she slowed the handkerchief away, II
can find out where be bought it and
trade it of for match safes and ling
erie for the baby, and by the time he
gets strop to suit him will be very
well fixed for stockings and hairpins."
And Mrs. s., fred another charge
of cstnip into the baby, hushing it's
startled cries as Mr.. s., fast asleep,
slid out of his chair like chunk Of
lead. q
The news., 1882-03-23

ELEGAST TOILET PREPARATIONS
Hair dressing, and restorative is found in
London Hair Color Restorer" 1t seldom
fails to restore gray or faded hair 10 its
original youthful color and beauty. Fall
ing hair is checked by Tvs use, and it pro-
duces growth of beautiful young hai--
soft, glossy, and luxuriant. 1t eertainlr
is the most clearly and effective hair re-
storers now before the American people.
A. A. Gibson, Barrytown, Duchess
county, N. X, writes: DIR. Swayne 4 Som
Philadelphia: GENTs-I enclose post
Office order for eight dollars: please
send me one dozen bottles Of the LON
don kair Color Restorer.n 1t has
stopped my hairfr falling, and restored
it to its natural color. 1t has proven
satisfactory in every respect. Tie Lon
don Hair Color Restorer''i can be obtain
at all the leading druggists at rs cents q
bottle.
The news., 1882-03-23
MOUNT HOLLY, BURLINGTON co, N J., THU


reality it Is from diseased kidneys
which have become weakened by the
fever they have just had"
swell, doctor, you have got some
new truths here, certainly, but they
sound very reasonable to me-"
"Well, whether they are reasonable
or not, | have demonstrated to my
own satisfaction that they are true,
and | propose to stand BY them, no
matter how much opposition | may
raise BY doing so. Any man, be be
politician, preacher or physician, who
is 50 considerate Of his pocketbook or
his own personal ends as to stultify
himself BY suppressing the manifest
truth, is unworthy the name OF man,
and unworthy the confidence of the
public whom he serves"
I The above are some OF the principal
points in the interview referred to.
Now for the sequel. The following
oulspoken letter from the doctor him.
self which has just been received is
published in full
The news., 1882-03-23
TO A CHILD.


How shall I sing you, Child for whom
So many Tyres are strung; 23e
Or how the only tone assume
Ias That fits maid so young?
What rocks their are on either hand
Suppose1tis on the cards .FiA
You should grow up with quite granC
Platonic hate for bards
li.issa5 1Ah
How shall I Their be shamed, undone,
For ali /! with what scorn
Your eyes must greet that luckless On,
Who hymned you, newly born
Who DER your "helpless cradleY bent
His idle verse to turn, 4sq ra.
And twanged his tiresome compliment
-liAs Above your unconcerni afeA
Nay-let my words be SO discreet
"a That, keeping Chance in view,
) Whatever after-fate you meet 9s
A part may still be true.
Let others wish you mere good looks
Your sex is always fair;
sE1Or to be writ 10 Fortunes books
sol She's rich whoghas to spare:
/ wish you but hearts that kind,
saslaA headsthafs sound and clear;
1s { Yetlletthe heart beaiot too blind,
al The head not too severe s
Ajoy Of life, frank delight.
{ ssaA moderate desire; a $3.50 a
sih And if you failto find a Knight, a.
Al least--a trusty Squire.
AUSTIN DoBsoN.
The news., 1882-03-23

TRY.-rry cfanbsrries for maisTia.
Try sun bath for rheumatism.
Try ginger ale for stomach cramps.
Try clam broth for weak stomach
Try cranberry poultice Er erysip-
elias. asp
Try wet towel to the back Of the
neck when sleepless.
Try eating fresh radishes and yellow
turnips for gravel.
Try swallowing saliva when troubled
with sour stomach
Try eating onions and horse radish
to relieve drOpsical swelling. ss
Try buttermilk for the removal of
freckIes, tan and butternut stains.
Try taking a nap ia the afternoon
if you are going out late in the even
ing.
Try hot dry flannel over the seat
Of neuralgia pain and renew frequent
ly.
Try hard cider--a winegalassful
three times day-for ague and rheu-
matism. e5
Try shutting powdered borax up
the nostrlls for catarrhal cold ia the
head.
Try taking your oodliver oil ia
tomato catsup, if you want to make
it palatable. Is
Try breathing the fumes of turpeh-
tine or carbolic acid to relieve RhoOp-
ing cough. as4s
Try cloth wruug out in cold
water put about the neck at night for
sore throat. l-aos
Try walking with your hands be-
hind you if you find yourself beeom-
ing bent forward.
Try silk handkerchief over tho
face when obliged to go against .
cold, piercing wind.
Try planting sunaowers in your
garden if compelled to live in a mala-
ria neighborhood. sas
Try saturated solution Of bi ear
Donate Of soda (baking soda) 10 diaf-
rh@a; give freely. 9.sae sds
Try . newspaper over the chest,
benath your coat, as a chest protector
in extremely cold weather. Health
Monthly.
The news., 1882-03-23

q { ana Il you isilto nnG q Knight at
''s''' a. -'sass77'4 'iuS's s Isrrs- nonsov
la4... $3.50. z1N
ru.mprc.5 Evnpn,r,,rcn
. s., 81 e'....t'.. A .... IAlnNon.
A FREE PRESS iNTEhFiE" sus7
+ iag99 TANNED AND ITS SOURCE
= -es' '' REVEALED. lin
(Detroit Free Press
l'9al -.. ~.
,.;,h - '...a. o:sn0 'so ~ 1u'e.s,e"
sshs.;.;., . snass,.s .a ss;as "e - W.
pn'sI 10. .. L. 0''yTus - e
iugss' pus IVY ''s'ns ~ lssm olA'
'a ~, = 'ue COLUMNS - sn'S paper.
~. ~ ~, I's's ssa, - a y .ne uuo'Ol
anu sne ,a0'S no u'suiseo were u u. 30
uuususl { nature q e cause no ilttls
oommo'ion among NOSE VINO read
'nem, lan0 many inquiries were raised li
as 70 the genuineness OF the interview
and tneAVaiioity oftne statements IT
contained. Inc name o. the physic-
IAN Wassatt that time suppressed at his
own request. The, seal of secrecy,
however, caa now be removed, as the
important and interesting letter which
appears below will aburdantly show.
In order, however, that the reader
may better understand this letter, a
few extracts are herewith given from
the interview 10 question ieoT "a
= After an exchange of courtesies
and few "reminiscences about the
war, in which the doctor was prom
inent surgeon, the reporter remarked
upon the doctors improved appear
ance, upon which he said
'ASsSYes, Ehave improved in health
since you last saw me, aud / hope
also ia many other ways. One thing,
however, ] have succeeded in doing
and it is one of the hardest things for
any one, aud especially q doctor, to
dn, and that isl thsvs overcome my
prejudices. 4 You know there are
speeple 'whe prefer to remain 10 the
wrong rather than ackDowledge the
man'fest right Such prejudice ieacs
70 o'gotry o. the worst order, NOW
az . pnysicis 30, o. ta s', old school,
"raeF' 'ooi Dns nsss' sites years OF
:exPsf'e1ee sos observation, come 20
me eep ss 'nae stlte'a y Ine nigc.
~ ~, " al 'u.pess sna ''s' u eJuo.ce
o..os'e & 1919 = NC Stxo1 Eu'nl
. 100 s..;. 800 -. sasu-'Asy
la,sr Wa 49, rs 800 ' ~. - y
ns,.a:, 80 yoI =
,boueh, g v;ola.;ar h ooSa - ~
;csiIs;5 doss \, ne nrossss;on ~ :,
.nsss.r;h;rs. :. 49,. go - ~ =
t,isf orass l5bsh + wa,,ld of smrula,;r |
no Lsrd Nos hawsvsr Trrsso,;hs
ssd Is,lS;sa sSoss tbinos whinb IT 10.
hse 10 shs sdsrfsds tcse,,,s ana rh;cb
r. =, ernorianee- has proven To Ibl
ssch p 80.
aHow did Won come Il, + Get, such
h,fetical IDEAS a. This. doctor 2"
FOh. they are the result Of nv OK.
petienee and observation. | obtain,
I'd my Hrst idsas upon the subject
haush, from having been cured after
sllimy, care andzslaA Of nv profes.
-ioral treihesa had failed to relieve
l md Why Sllwsk a badly off AZ n, an
The news., 1882-03-23

IS The generality Of men expend the
early part of their lives in contribute
ing to render the latter part miser-
able,
The news., 1882-03-23
Yours very truly.

A man asked for admission to
show for half price, as he had but one
eye, But the manager told him it
would take him twice as long to see
the show as it would anybody else,
and charged him double. e
The news., 1882-03-23
KNOWLEDGE IN A NUTSHELL
A cubit is two feet.
A space ia three feet.

hN0WLEDGE IN A NUTSHELL
A cubit is two feet.
A space is three feet.
A fathom is six feet.
A palm is three inches.
A league Is three miles.
There are 2,75O languages.
A great cubit is eleven feet.
Two persons die every second.
Bran, twenty pounds per bushel.
Sound moves TAB miles per hour.
A square mile contains 6 l6 acres
A barrel Of ice weighs 900 pounds
Slow rivers Aow Eve miles per hour.
A barrel Of pork weighs 200 pounds,
A barrel Of aouer weighs 1876
pounds.
An acre contains 4,s4o square
yards.
Osts thiriy.thrse pounds per bpshsl.
Barley fOrty-eight pounds per
bushsl.
A hand (hosss measuss) ID four
inches, s
A span Is ten add ssvsu.sights
inches,
A rife ball moves 1000 miles per
hour. ss
A storm blows thirty-six miles per
hour.
A rapid river sows seven miles per
hour.
Buekwheas afty.swO pounds per
bushel.
Elsotrieisy moves s2s,OOO mile. per
hour.
4 hurricane moves eighty miles per
hour, co.,
The arss luoiser match was made 10
1929,
A frkin Of butter weighs afty.six
pounds.
Coarse salt, eighty-fvs pounds per
bushel. ~ ss; sss..sa
A tub of butter weighs sighty-fous
pounds. IL S
The average human life is thirty
one years. s
Timothy seed forty-fve pounds per
bushel.
The first horse railroad was built
in 1867.
A moderate wind blows seven miles
per hour.
The FIRST steamboat piled the Hud-
son 10 1907. aai
A days journey is thirty-three and
oue-eighth miles.
The news., 1882-03-23
Skin DSsadses. :

"Swayne's Ointment" Cures the most
"Swayne's OintmentH5 sinysterate cases
"Swayne's Ointment skin disease, such
"Swayne's Ointment" as letter, salt
"Swayne's Ointmehfn rherlin scald
"Swayne's Ointment" head BARRIERS
''Swayne's QiptmenT,Jo itch. sores, all
"Swayns's Ointment" | crusty scaly itch
"Swayne's Ointment" ing, skin erup-
Swayne's 0infnishP + fions, and that
'Swayne's Ointment" distressing, COM
"6waynee Ointment / plant, itching
"Swayne's Ointment" piles, the only
"Swayne's Ointraent' efectual cure, no
"Swaynes Ointmehte matter how OBJ
"Swayne's Ointment" ( stinate or long
standing. Ask for it and take no other.
1t cures where all sfse fails. Sold by all
prominent druggists.
Ese48ts skkS1 ER
Piles ITcHING PILES The symp-
tbnnF Of it6hifg piles ,s&e moisture, like
Precipitation, intense itching most at night,
seems as if pin worms were crawling ID
otsrbqV fths sreclum. The mere you
scratch the worse they itch; very sdistres-
sing. The private parts are often affected.
DIR. Swayne's Ointment is the NEST effec-
tive remedy extapt, for this .tormenting
Complaint Gives rest alright without
the desire 10 scratch. Also has no equal
in quickly graduating letter, itch, sail
rhepn, ,srysipelas, barbeEs itch, pimples,
all scaly, crusty, itchy skin eruptions.
Here is the proof: Certainly the best
remedy eyer used in my practice" DIR.
Cotton, W oodslodk W. s"ttohblea with
itching piles for over twenty years, it
cured me completely" L. s. Messer, En-
field, Me. Sent for fifty cents Tin three
cent stamps, three boxss $1.25. By Pr.
Syawne & Son, Philadelphia, Pa. Sold
by all dr,1ogists.
The news., 1882-03-23

Dark clouds roll up and obscure
the sun, but we know that there is
light above the clouds.
The news., 1882-03-23
VOL. yIseaNo. TO- ssfl pniseinn1Ope i

Governor Cameron, cf Virginia, is -i.k
With rhepmatism r.;ugnt on by his bril-
liant raid against The bad oysters.
The news., 1882-03-23

The Detroit Free Press says "the night
key slays more men than the mnsket
The news., 1882-03-23

sIf rest rust is German proverb.
.If trust bust is the American YER
s;ol,
The news., 1882-03-23

The Coop ONE MAN CAN Dot
"There is q man." said his peighbor,
speaking Of village carpenter, wEO
has done more good, really bsliexa
in this community than any otHif
person who has ever lived 10 il. He
cannot talk very well in a pray ss
meeting, end he doesn't try. He isn,t
worth two Thousand dollars and nh
very little be can put down on SUP.
scription papers for any worthy Object.
But q new family never moves into as
the village that he does net fiudvthem
out; to give them a neighborly wsi-
come and offer them any little sersi6s
he can render. He is usually "a the
lookout to give strangers a seat in, his
pew at church. He is ready to watch
with a sick neighhor, and look aftEsr
his affairs for him; and I've sometimes
thought he and his wife kept hOpasss-
plants. in winter just for the sake ef
being able to send little bOquets to iS-
vslids, He inds time for pleasant
word for every child he meets. and
you'll always find them cIimbings;n mo- !,
his oneshorse wagon when he has; no
other load. he really seems to have
genius for helping folks in eli sorts
Of ways, and it docs me good e y,nsr,
day TO meet him On the streets. 4 ~
The news., 1882-03-23

A young man in California had
taken up 160 acres of land, built a
house upon it, bored wells, dug
bitches, sowed it in wheat, and in all
spent hundreds of dollars upon it.
1t happened to be . dry season and
the crop failed. He became discour-
aged, aud offered his claim and i'm
provements at a sacrifice. A young
lady gave him shooter his right, title
and interest in theland and everything
on it. She lett lie. She need Dc
nothing more. She sold the Insult.
Gent crop for hog feed. The hogs
rooted and scattered it. The winter
rains came and with it came the vol
unteer crop, which has just been cut
yielding twelve bushels per acre OF
100 acres. She win clear at leasl
81, 500, besides having the land ani
Improvements.