Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1882-08-25
A Domestic Disorganizer.

Lieutenant Atwell, who recently
married the daughter of Captain King,
of Texas, was presented on the wedd ng
morning. by the brides father, with
10, 600 head of cattle and horses. Just
imagine the visitors, rs they fingered
over the wedding presents, when they
came to ten thousand head of cattle
among the card cases, butter knives
and napkin rings that custom requires
should be presented to bride and BRIDE
groom by their friends; and think of
how embarrassed Lieutenant Atwell
must have been when he had ten thou
sand long-horncd cows, frsky calves
and believing steers turned over to him,
without even halter around their necks
to hold them by! Nobody ever gave
me ten thousand head of cattle, but
can remember when | received an old
COW in payment of Il bad debt. 1t was
very bad debt, and came to consider
it very bad payment. She was Il thin
COW. but the former owner said she was
better than she looked, being eros,
between the Jersey and the Durham.
She looked as if she might have been q
abandoned hoop-skrt. kept the brute
three days, and no one, except perhaps
Lieutenant Atwell could ever appre-
ciate the suffering | endured in that
time. The first night she broke through
the fence, and reduced to pulp all the
undcr-clothing belonging to my next
door neighbor. She put her horn
through my bath tub, and ate up all my
aunt's geraniums. l had expectations
from my aunt, but the extent of that
cows appetite ruined them. She was
to give three gallons of milk day, but
she seemed to be short just then, and
never had that amount To spare while
we kept her. In fact she never pro.
duced any milk worth speaking of un'
less it was the milk of human kindness
that she kicked out of the hired man.
The second day she wa,ke,l into the
kitchen and upset II pan OF batter, my
aunts nerves and II tub OF lard. Then
she fell down well, and when | got
| ne. out, at cost of five dollars, she
took the collie, whooping cough or some.
thing, and kept us awake all night. Not
n green thing was left in my garden;
my neighbor's peach trees and the rope
on which his underwear grew We're rs
| bare of fruit rs sngle-tree, and he did
not have tyig of shrubbery left. My
neighbor came over To see me. and said;
"Why do you let your cow into my
garden at night? Why don't you take
your blamed old COW in after darkH'
=" And why, my friend" said'I, ''don'
you tax: your blamed old garden in
after darkP'
"Now, don't desire any quaTeli but
want YOU TO keep your COW out OF my
shrubbery."
"Andl want you TO keep your shrub
berry out of my COW; it spoils the taste
of the milk"
Friends separated us, bnt ever a'ter.
wards there was Il GOODNESS between us
and my ncighbor's wife ceased to pat
ronize our house when she wanted tC
borrow cupful of yeast powder.
l could bear the COW no longer.
sa ,riliced her to the payment o y bad
debt owed the grocer around the cor
ncr. Now, II one old COW disorganizet
my domestic economy, and destroye,
the amicable relations existing between
my neighbor and myself, what mus
Lieutenant Atwell have suffered witt
ten thousand cows! Think of the ruiz
and desolation oil his garden! lmagin
how the ncighbors over the way mus
, have suffered! / would venture to sa
that inside OF two weeks there was no
, living soul within fifty miles who ha
a shirt TO his back. - 1oras Syfia9s.
----------