davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
AN OILY JOKE.

The San Francisco Chronicle tells
of a ventriloquist who got into troub-
lie through his love of practical jokes.
During a trip ON the Mississippi, a
few years ago, he made friends with
the engineer of the boat and was al
lowed to enter the engine room.
He took seat in corner of the
room, and pulling his hat down over
his eyes and appeared to be lost in
revery. Presently a certain part
of the machinery began to squeak.
The engineer oiled it and went
about his usual duties. In the
course of a few minutes the squeak
ing was heard again, and the engin-
eer rushed, oil-can in hand, to lubri-
cate the same spindle.
Again he returned to his post but
it was only few minutes and the
same old spindle was squeaking loud
er than ever.
"Confound the thing p he yelled.
ssIt's bewitched." More oil was adj
ministered, but the engineer hogan
to be suspicious as to it's cause.
Pretty soon the spindle began to
squeak again, and slipping up be-
hind the ventrlloquist the engineer
squirted half pint of oil down his
back.
"There, % said he, II guess that
spindle won't squeak any more"
The joke was so good that the
ventriloqnist could not keep it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

ssTHE OWL" = By A BoY.-The
owl is deceivin' rooster. To look
at i'm yude think he Good see furthern
spiglass cause his eye is biggern
dore-knobs, but they can't see emmy
better neether. If owls feechers was
all made cordin' for the eyes, the
faced half to be big as cistern-
kover to hole 'om. All owls is good
for hootin' and sittin' round, ceptin'
some what screeches, but some of
'ems got bald heads and that kinds
good to laf at. Owls alwaZe wares
the same unyform, and how they tell
each other from theirself is what nox
me, but when you undress 'em they
look so disgustin' thin you wish yude
let 'em alone. Wunts a boy wrote
compersishin and he sed owls was all
ize, which is a whopper, cause the
laud knows theys fethers tu. Sum
people stuff owls, but wots the use,
cause live owls is just as ded as ded
wuns and mos as natcheral.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

Perhaps medicine is so universally required as
good cathartc. Swayne's Pills are prepared expressly
to meet this necessity, being composed of purely veg
etable ingredients, OF which podophylln or mandrake
sarsaparilla yellow dock and other concentrated
Juices enter largely into their composition the whole
strength of which is extracted on an entirely new
principle. They are mild in their operation and are
truly valuable aperient and anti-bilious medicine
They stimulate the liver to healthy action cleanse
the stomach and bowels of all impurities Curing
sick and nervous headache. dyspepsia or indigestion,
oiliousness, fevers. drowsness. colds aching pains
slight ehills with flashes of heat, and female rregu.
iarities For bilious and costve habit no medicine
is sc prompt and eectual Mailed on receipt OF price
Tin postage stamps. 25 cents, or Ave boxes for 81
Address Dr. Swayne & Son. Philadelphia, Pa. Ask
your druggist for them
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

knowledge is not obtained by labor.
All that | have achieved in music
has been by hard, persistent toll,
it is impossible that such labor can
be wasted. Some one might answer
that the growth of the spirit in patti
ence and the other virtues was COM
pensation enough. 1t does not APP
pear so to me. If / am given a tai
ent, and / cultivate that talent to the
best of my ability, it is mine for
ever for all it is worth. | am sure
of it."
"But, my dear Mrs. La Force"
Bertha took one of the old lady's
hands in he1s and tenderly kissed it
eff you are musician in heaven
you cannot play with these hands.
So what will it avail that you have
brought them to this state of perfec-
ton in execution?' %
"My dear, shall have hands, and
they will be all the better for my
purpose because of what these have
accomplished. This is one of the
details that does not disturb me in
the least. This is all that concerns
me; ] was given a talent, and I
have done the best 1 could with it
under very difficult circumstances.
To my mind the conclusion is as log
ical as it is comforting"
The next day Mrs. Montgomery
went to work in earnest; and though
there were no condolences between
husband and wife in the matter,
there came to be better understand
ing. Mr.. Montgomery sometimes
heard the piano as he entered the
house, but the sound of his step was
sure to put an end to the practicing.
After a while Mrs. Montgomery
used occasionally to invite her hus-
band to listen to some new piece, OF
an old favorite, and after a few
months of diligent practice the long
ed-for improvizations were resumed.
At this crisis Montgomery's delight
was pathetic to witness.
Mrs. Montgomery found less time
for embroidery, and there were fewer
tucks in the children's clothes, but
nothing suffered that needed hel
care. The dinners were as well ap-
pointed, and the guests as hospita
ably entertained, as in the days wher
these duties occupied most of the
housekeeper's time.
s'Mrs. La Force did it ALL" Berths
told her husband one evening, aftel
electrlfying a parlor full of people
her husband included, "and / wan
to go to Colorado and play for her
Her philosophy is a little too mucl
for me, though I don't see why i
shouldn't be true; still-''
Mr.. Montgomery finished the sent
ence with kiss.-Christian Union.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

A YEAR OF PLENTY.-The corn
crop of the United States this year is
estimated by the department of agri-
culture at 100000 bushels.
The condition of the crop is rated
very high in the south and compare
tiyely low in the states of largest
production. The oats crop is esti-
mated at 4S0, 900, 900 bushels; rye,
10000, 900; barley, 45,00O,O00
buckwheat, IL, 100000; and pota-
toes, 100000, 900.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

LESSON IN EQUEsTRIAXIsM.-Horseback riding as
an art and beneficial exercise Is one OF the most
iudicious habits that could cultivate While 1t
affords the equestrian every opportunity for the culti
walton of graceful posing, il comprises all the health
ul elements Of the most nvigoratng pleasures Like
all else in this world however If INDUCED in mmod-
erately. the results are extremely painful and on
times dangerous. Called limbs. and piles that itch
intensely particularly after getting warm in bed are
not infrequently the outcome Of excessive exercise in
the saddle In such cases. however, the evil can be
thoroughly eradicated by applying swaynes Ointment
which, as cure for piles-itching or otherwise. has
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

Mexico is to be Americanized.
The job is big one, and nothing
but Yankee pluck and perseverance
could accomplish it. A syndicate of
Americans has been formed to COB
BILE all the really valuable interests of
the country, the privileges granted
them making such q result certain.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
THE COTTAGE HEARTH

Published at Boston. An Illustrated Magazine of
Home Arts and Home Culture. Contains more read
ing of Practical Domestic Worth and Positive Home
Interest than any other magazine of its price. Each
number contains Portraits and Sketches of Distin-
guished Men, Superior Home Music, Fleral Articles,
Stories and Adventures, Choice Poetry, the latest
Fashions the Mothers Chair the Students Corner,
the Young Folks Window, all fully illustrated. Among
regular contributors Louise Chandler Moulton,
George Macdonald (of England) Lucy Larcom, Rose
Terry Cooke, Mrs. A. NJ. Diaz B. P. ShIlaber and
many other well-known authors.
CLUB RATES.
We are enabled to make the following liberal offer
to our readers: To all who subscribe within three
months and pay 1925 in advance. we will send the
ORLEANS COUNTY MONITOR and the COTTAGE HEARTH
for one year. This will give you good paper and
choice magazine for a little more than the price OF
either. Please send in your subscriptions at once.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

ptTSOu ifi'ibS.l
See that bridge, like slender thread
Hanging above that watery bedl
Stretching across from shore to shore
Above the waves that break and r0ar
Seen in the darkness hanging there,
Like some filament in the air.
Say who hath said it will not break
When wind and wave their freedom take?
Harki It's the winds in demon play,
Lashing to foam the Firth of Tay.
Hear the roar through that iron frame.
As forests roar in sea of flame.
Hear the waves on each iron pier
Strike like curse then disappear.
Who would dare on night like this,
Venture train Ger that abyss?
But looki is that trembling star
Glimmering through the dim afar?
Or is that light. so dimiy seen.
The moving headlight of train7
Look. peer sharp through the dingy air.
Be ye sure that train is there?
Great Godl it moves, it comes this way;
Heaven uphold the bridge of Tay!
Who has dared on night like this
Venture a train DER that abyss?
Keep right watch of that fated light,
Which braves the bridge this stormy night,
Lose it not. though the tender eye
Is cut by sands which the winds blow by.
HeavensI the pebbles strike like hail
Driven before the fiercest gale.
What's that? shower of light-a glare?
And all now dark? no headlight theref
mol mol for heavens sake-sdy no!
Though all is plunged in the FIRTH below.
Look once more with shaded eye,
Is not that light still drawing nigh?
Or is that there which seems to shine
myth upon these lids of mine?
Don't for your souls salvation say
That train has found grave in Tay.
Heavens look at the gap now seen
That yawning gulf which lies between.
See the exultant waters flow
Over the ruin they hide below;
Seeming proud that each crested wave
Rolls above some watery grave.
See the friends and the mourners pour
Down the banks of the wave-washed shore,
Wringing their hands in wild dismay,
Mingling their tears in waves of Tay.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

Clear head and voice. easy breathing. sweet breath.
perfect SMELL and hearing. cough, no distress
These are conditions brought about in catarh by the
use of sanfords Radical Cure Complete treatment
for 81.
Terrible itching and scaly humors ulcers. sores and
scrofulous swellings cured by the Cucura and Cutt
cura Soap (he great skin cures) externally and Cuti-
cura Resolyent q ood purHer) internally. Ask about
them at your druggists.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
175 ACRE FARM FOR SALE.

We offer farm for sale in Sheffield fifteen min
utes drive to village of churches. stores saw-m
grist-m. blacksmith. repair paint shop &c Cut this
year so tons hav, mostly cut with machine; three
good pastures Two good sugar orchards of 1000
each, with saphouse and fixtures very convenient and
near the buildings. Apple orchard-raised 100 BUSH
els last year, grated fruit also plums and cher
ries in abundance Large muck bed also good chance
for fish pond Buildings consist large cottage house
and ell well finished. with milk and wash rooms !;
wood-house. barns, COW barn 44x64 with basement,
completely finished in modern style-bnilt in 1879.
Horse barn With pigery underneath nearly new. also
corn barn. Aeyeralllpg Eater running at house and
barn. We Will sell together with sugar tonls moving
machine nearly new. horse rake, one years STOCK OF
wood at house and sugar house. and all farming TOOLS
for $2500 onehaf down, the to suit purchaser.
We have 10 acres In crops would be pleased to
show any one-one field of common 8-rowed which
stood s feet high August a.
For further particulars enquire of L. w. Simpson
of Barton Landing, B. +. Taylor of Wheelock. H. p
King OF Sheffield.
S. KENDALL & SON.
Sheffield, VT, Aug. 81. 1882. 34tf
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery" has become
thoroughly established in public favor that it
not for the forgetfuness of people it would not be
necessary to call attention to its power to
sumption which is scrofula Of the lungs and other
blood diseases. eruptons. bloches pmples, ulcers.
and "liver complaint"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

WHY SHOULD THEY.-No man or woman can do
satisfactory work when the brain is dull the nerves
unsteady. the system relaxed and they feel generally
wretched. Why should anybody drag through their
work in this condition, when bottle of Parkers Gin
ger Tonic will at moderate cost give them the strength
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

Az ExPLANATIoN.-The delicate, howery and last
ing fragrance of Florestou Cologne explain why is
such a favorite with the ladies.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

Browns IRON BITTERs effectual-
ly cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion and
Weakness, and renders the greatest
relief and benefit to persons suffering
from such wasting diseases as Con-
sumption, Kidney Complaints, etc.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
Saved his Child.
II N. Eutaw St, Baltimore, Md.

II N. Eutaw ST., Baltimore, Md.
Feb. II, 1886.
Gents Upon the recommends
ton of friend / tried BRowN's
IRON BrrrERs as tonic and re-
storative for my daughter, whom
1 was thoroughly convinced was
wasting away with Consumption.
Having lost three daughters by the
terrible disease, under the care of
eminent physicians, / was 10th to
believe that anything could arrest
the progress of the disease, but, to
my great surprise, before my daugh-
ter had taken one bottle of BRowN's
IRON B1rrRRs, she began to mend
and now is quite restored to former
health. A fifth daughter began to
show signs of Consumption, and
when the physician was consulted
he quickly said "Tonics were re-
quired :" and when informed that
the elder sister was taking BRowN's
IRON BIrTKRs, responded "that is
a good tonic, take it
ADoRAM PHELPS.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
GEO. w. BUZZELL,
Barton. Vermont

Dealer In Saws, Water Wheels, Shinge Machines
Shafting. Gears, Pulleys. Planning and Matching Ma
chimes. Portable GlistMils. Boiling CLOTH Smut Mills.
Buhr-Stones and all Mill Furnishing Goods Mill
wright work done to order. Send for price, and
circulars
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
For the Monitor.
THE FATED TRAIN.
BY DAVID HILL.

FOUR readers will remember the great disaster in the
Firth of Tay Scotland when by the breaking of an
iron bridge railway tram containing more than
hundred souls went down with the bridge. not
person surviving.1
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

ITO ADVERTISERS.-Low Rates for adver-
Il tisng in LOGO good newspapers sent free. Ad-
dress GEO. p. ROWELL & CO., 10 Spruce st. N Y
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

true iron medicine, beneficial to the young as well
as the old who suffer from dyspepsia etc. is Browns
Iron Bitters.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
to Use.

AgreeapIe 70 U So.
Unequalled for colds
in the head, headache
and deafness. OF any
kind of mueus membra-
nal irritations. inflam-
ed and rough surfaces.
| A preparation of un-
doubted merit. Apply
by the little finger into
ed. eftectually cleansing
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
+. NJ. PERRY,

G. H. GREEN,
DEALERIN BURIAL ROBES C OFFINs ,CAsK-
- cts and Furniture, Austin's Block, Barton
Landing Vt. Hearse provided atfunerals.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

DENTIST, BARTON VT. OFFICE IN ROBIN
sons Block over Hall store. Consultation free.
Gas and Ether forthe
of teeth. Nabolused to prevent pain in filling teeth
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

G.. H. NEWLAND,
NENTIST, NEWPORT, VT WILL BE AT
Irasburgh the second Monday of every month
and dremain six days. S-4ou
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
J. A. PEARSON

TNHE OLD DENTIST, MAIN STREET, BARTON,
i Vt. All work done in best manner and war
ranted Gas and Ether used when desired.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20

NEANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN FURNI-
w ture, Collins and Caskets, Carpets. Room Pa
per ETC., Glover. VT. Ill
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-11-20
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

L. H. THOMPSON,
A TTORNEY, COUNSELOR AND SOLICITOR
N Also Bounty and Pension Agent. .Irasbprgh, VT
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-07-25
MONEY IND BESINESS.

The most important and most satisfactory
event of the past week has been the continued
decline in prices. Wheat has dropped about
receipts at the West and the removal of doubts
az to the crop. Corn has declined but little,
and there is still much uncertainty IN regard
to the yield, but the general tendency of
prices has been downward, and it is now Tea-
sonable to hope that the speculative cliques
which caused so much trouble last year, will
be unable to control the markets. Cotton is
still held with exceptional steadiness, notwith-
standing favorable weather reports from the
South, in part because the holders appear to
have 10 market on which to sell, and in part
because war ID Egypt gives them hope that
supplies from that country, and possibly from
India, may be interrupted. Petroleum has
stifened little alter It's remarkable decline
some reaction upward was expected. In lard
and provisions there has been more active
movement, and the failure of an important
refining house caused some decline. Sugar is
dull because of pending legislation, and the
same cause, with favorable crop reports, has
depressed the price of tobacco With no
change in the position of the iron manufac-
tuners or striking workers, there has been
greater stiffness in prices OfS iron, but
without definite advance, and other metals are
quiet and firm The marked change in grain
prices and prospects has caused ocean ireights
to advance to 5ia pence for wheat by steam
TO Liverpool.
There was some disappointment last week
because exports of gold began again, though
it is stated thai 81, 100000 gold shipped was
on account of the Italian loan. The total ex-
ports of specie were Sl,7l9,426, making
S37, s4s,S1O this year, against less than
So, 800, 900 last year to date. But it il not
reasonable to expect that the outward move
ment of gold Will instantly stop as soon as
this country becomes assured of good wheat
crop. There must be actual exports Of pro-
ducts in excess of imports before the merchan-
disc movement can cease to add each week 10
the unliQuidated Indebtedness still existing,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-07-25
NEwvoKx DAILY TRIBUNE TUESDAY, JULY %, 1882

all of them hearing. Doubtless any one OF
the candidates mentioned would represent his
constituents with ability and fidelity. 1t may
not be amiss, however to say that the ke-
publicans of Vermont have it in their power
to render the party great service by
doing what with their overwhelming ma
jorities they can well afford-that is,
to disregard every other consideration IN
the selection of candidates except that
they be the very best men, the ablest and
purest that can BIO persuaded into public life;
men of experience, discretion and knowledge
of affairs, who will bring wisdom and strength
to Republican counsels in Congress, and give
the strongest Republican State In the Union
the position of influence that belongs to 1t in
a Republican House. Vermont has been pecu-
liarly fortunate in her representation III the
Senate. The State that in the past has been
represented by ColIamer and Foote, and is now
represented by Edmunds and Morrill,, LII the
upper branch of the National Legislature,
should endeavor to have standard equally
high for its representation in the lower. Under
the new apportiOnment it has but two Repre-
sentatives instead of three as formerly, and in
selecting these two care should be taken to
:" get the best" So far as Judge Poland IS
concerned The TRIBUNE entertains no doubt
of either his ability or integrity, and II the
Republicans of the lid District see tit to
nominate him it will hail his election with salts
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-07-25

taxation is not yet complete. The Republican
party has made its record, however. IL has
supported a renewal Of bank charters, and
reduction of about $1,000, 900 in taxation,
while the Democrats have opposed oo'n meas
mes with great unanimity. The plausible
pretexts offered will 90 to the people WIN .ne
votes of the two parties When the record Is
complete, it will be seen that the Republicans,
however they may have fallen short CT full
performance of their duty, have no occasion to
fear a comparison with their opponents. For
the Democrats, when they were in the majority
refused to amend the tariff at ALL refused to
reduce taxation in any way, and refused legis-
lation necessary to preserve the national bank
ing svStpm.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-07-25
Nem,11ork Daily aribn'1s.
FOUNDED BY HORACE G EeLeY
TUESDAY, JULY 25, 1882.
THE NEWS THIS MORNING.

FoRrIGN.-The British troops had skrmish
with the Egyptians yesterday at Ramleh and cap
tured sixty prisoners the casualties were small
Mr. Parnell is organizing movement III
opposition to the Land Corporation. - Inc
TIillsdale crew has challenged the winner of the
four-oarcd race in the Metropolitan regatta -
Miss Lillian Norton the singer, has made success
full debut in opera in Paris. - George r. Marsh,
the limited States Minister to Italy, died suddenly
at yaliambrosa yesterday.
CoNGREss-In the Senate yesterday the Revenue
bill was discussed; a letter was read from the
Health Officer of the Port of New-York urging an
appropriation to enable the National Board OF
Health TO paw for the inspection of immigrants
= The minority report on the Northern Pacific
land grants was LAID the table In the House; the
drawback bills were considered.
DoMEs11c-Square Dance, Ada Glenn, Rochester
and Rose won the Saratoga races. - The Ken
dali Bank Note Company filed protest against the
decision annulng their contract to PRINT Virginia
State bonds - Cholera infantum is very preva-
lent at Fall River. - The remains OF Fanny
Parnell were placed In a receiving vault at lren-
ton. - The 47th Regiment, OF Brooklyn
arrived at the Peekskill Camp of Instruction,
md the Sth. of New-York, returned. - The
weather was very hot at Newport. - Dancing
Is the favorite pastme at Saratoga. - Inc
Massachusetts, Central Railroad Company elected
directors 60 Robert f. Pattison accepted the
Democratic nomination for Governor III Pennsyiva-
mia. - A statue Of Daniel Webster is to be
erected at Concord, n II. 80 DR.. Jones and Pro-
lessor Harris read papers before the Concord School
of Philosophy.
CITY AND SUBURBAN.-An insane man tried to
kill himself and his wife yesterday. - The
steamboat Cygnus sunk tugboat In the North
R;ver 60 The Parole Turf Club pool-rooms were
broken up by the police number of arrests being
made. - writ of habeas corpus was granted by
Chicf-Justice Waite in favor of General Curtis.
g. The railroad companies refused to compro-
mise with the strikers. - Arrangements were
made for another glove fight between Sullivan and
Wilson. - Gold value of the legal-tender silver
dollar (412l2 grains), e7.4O cents. - STOCKS
opened higher and excited, and continued to be
strong all day, aud closed buoyant at about the
highest prices.
THE WEATHER.-TRIBUNE local observations in
d,cate warmer and clear or fair weather TEN
perature yesterday: Highest 930; lowest II"
average, S0l2o,