Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-02
The Quickest Cure on Record.

The QUICKEST Cure on Record.
The professionals summering at Mount
Clemens, Mich, are at times rather
hard pushed for something to do to kill
time, and the boys have their heads to-
gether the most Of the day arranging
some scheme to while away the long
summer vacation.
The last season Gus Williams and
Charley Young were the ringleaders in
most of the deyilment, and many are the
funny stories told of their pranlzs, in
which they were ably seconded by the
rest Of the gang. =
While over in the bath-house one
morning Gus learned that number of
old gentlemen from the South were to-
arrive OF the afternoon train to examine
the baths, and, If satisfied that the waters
were as represented, they would take up
quarters for the summer. Having oD-
tanned the above information, Williams
concluded to have some fun with the ex-
pected arrivals, and with his chums ar
ed further on.
At 4 o'clock six benevolent-loo
gentlemen, suffering from rheumatism,
gcut, etc., arrived at the bath-house,
and, calling for the Superintendent, Wis
tied the different baths, and then pro-
ceet.ed to the reception-room and COM
menccd to put the Superintendent
Though q cross examination in regard
to their chances Of being cured, and the
cost, &c. While the. discussion was at
its ht;gat, terrible uproar was heard
nt ar TIE entrance of the bath-house, in
Which groans, shrieks and yells of agony
were heard that made the new guests
turn pale and start from their seats in
alarm. The front door was soon opened,
and Gus Williams rushed in, exclaim-
ing;
"For Gods sake, Doctor, get two
baths ready at once Two men have
Just been taken off the train who, we
are afraid, will not live to get to the
baths. Can you hear them outside?
Here they come now" said Gus, as other
unearthly yells went up that would have
made the hAa;;. - Sea- India :::::a.:.
for JOY, and the door opened, disclosing
the lengthy form of Charley Young and
Dewitt Cook holding up the apparently
dying forms of Emerson and Clark, who
were on crutches, their limbs bandaged
and their faces the picture Of despair.
"No use for a bath for those poor
men," said one of the kind old gentle
men ''they will not live an hour
"They are bad, "said Williams, "but
we must put them in; it is their last
chance ;" and the boys were led to the
rooms, keeping up their groaning SO
pitifully that the new arrivals could
scarcely keep the tears from their eyes,
big beads of perspIration standing out
on their faces almost as large as hen
eggs.
The old gentleman listened attentively
and anxiously. The groans and cries
entirely.
The poor fellows are dead" said one
of the o. G.
II think not" said Gus swait till
the waters take full effect
In few minutes roise was heard
from the bathroom that sounded like
some one humming lively song and
dance air.
"That's shame - said the O. G., ''to
be singing SO near the presence Of
death"
Just at this point out rushed Charley
Young, saying:
"Gus, they're better do you hear
them singing?"
"You don't mean to say said ali the
O. G. at once, "not the men you took
in there T'' who appeared pear to be dying ?"
as he said this crutch came flying out
of the bathroom, soon followed by three
more, and then Emerson and Clark
themselves in their bathing dress, who
proceeded to dance double clog, to the
establishment of the U. G., who would
scarcely believe their eyes.
MISUNDERSTANDING baths have
these men had p said one of the o. G.
in trembling voice.
sThis is their first" said Williams.
eve will stay here for the summer
said the leader Of the o. c., "and we
want bath now."- Cincinnati En-
guirer.