Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-05-05
F. UN
Bill Nye on J. James.

Flu N
Bill Nye on ]. James.
We are once more panied to announces
the death of Hon. Jesse James. We speak
Of him as the Hon. Jesse James because it
may be possible he may not be dead yet,
and we do net desire any personalities
raked up in case he shoald be still at large.
The regular semi-annual death of Jesse
James has been cause for national sor.
row for some time. His obituary has bsen
written seven or eight times by the falter-
ing hand that pens these lines. and we are
still young. Death has marked Mr.. James
for its own good many times, and he has
again been butchered to make Missouri
holiday.
The soil from Maine to California has
been drenched with his gore. and the
green grass waves above his ashes in everv
portion of our great land. No man has
persisted from the face of the earth 50
ubiquitously as Mr.. James, and no Ameri-
can citizen has yielded up his young
life under such varied and peculiar cir
cumstances.
Lay him low where the bobolnk bios
SONS on the sweet-potato vine, and plant
him in the valley where the pecan waves.
Born OF humble and obscure parents, he
rapidly rose to the proud emlnence of
America g leading thief and murderer
When death marked him as its victim the
last time he was as prominent man as
Henry Ward Beecher or Roscoe Conkling.
His genius took different shoot, it is
: true, but he won name as plundeTer
which throws the proud achievements of
our modern bank cashiers back into cold
and clammy oblivion. Death has once
more stilled the pulse of a man who. were
itnot for his little eccentricities as hui
man butcher and grand larceny cennois-
seur. would have made an elegant humor-
ist or statesman.
Had he pleaded emotional insanity in
stead of making an outlaw of himself be
might now be alive, loved and resp cted
But he was ignorant of the law, and
thought that when man murdered al
the first class passengers on trai he
would los dealt harshly with and ostracized.
That is where he committed grave error.
He went from bad to worse, and soon be
] ,st all respect for bimself. Yellow fever
and the James boys have been a great
tcourge TO this country The mortality
from these combined diseases has been
frightful. Now that JESSIE is fead one.
f.ri fI1 fhaf bo
hay be populated without serious delay
Heretofore it has been an uphill job, and
ti.eh men as Ifr. Hayfold have felt al
| 'ues AS though they would sink down and
q. of disbursement. But now there l.
lope again. The yellow fver is s.ltdne,,
fl Jesse James again reclin%s on bis t,isr
The census should show a rapid advance
in the next five years and bn-m in way
tat will make the other nations sick
Laramie Boon,eranq
HER FIRST BABY.-We do not know
how true this is. but a neighhor vouches
for it, and it is as good as any one of the
adventures i'll the Spoopendyke family. A
Dung mother, who is rich in her ubby's
Elections and pocketbook. is the owner az
three months Old sunbeam. The young
,nefhar, to nave the offspring receive prop
tf nourishment, resolved to take sole
charge of it. It was Ter first child, and
aving been reared in luxury. With plenty
O. servants to wait On her, she did not
] stidle the contract with as much success
some other women. The other day g. 9
I uiertook to give the child bath in a
s.sAli foot tub. The lady's mother. who
}ves with her, passing through the room.
& pped her finger in the water. and told
!. r daughter it was too cold for the little
q e, and that she would have to warm it.
stead of adding little VAIN water. she
PACED the bath tub with the baby in it on
. small gas stove and waited for further
developments. The developments came as
soon as the bottom of the tub began to get
extra warm. The offspring gave one yell,
While the fond mothe. grandmother and
the two servants rushed to the lescue The
Grandmother took the blessed baby and
Iaced handful of -four where it would
e. most good. In the future, grandmoth-
tr will look after tie child, while the
,.sother reads up on the cares of mother
ind how to bring up Children Kingston
Freeman:
A two-foet rule was given to laborer
in Clyde boat yard to measure an iron
plate. The laborer, not being well up in
The use Of the rule. after spending a con-
siderable time, returned, moo, Mick"
asked the platter. "what size ia the plate?"
''Wsll." replied Mick, with grin of salts
faction, tits tho length of your rule and
two thumbs over, with this piece Of brick,
and the breadth of my hand and my arm
from here to there, bar tinger."
Caught in strange place: "Frlends,'
once said clergyman to number of peo-
i,le who had entered his church for the
purpose Of getting out Of the rain, II have
often heard of the church being used as
cloak for ones sins, but this is the first