Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-12-13

and get on the right side of the COW. This les
son was 50 forcibly illustrated by this eXperl
ence that, whatever my conduct may have beel
since that time. have always been ready tx
admit and assert that on all subjects
cows included, it is wisest and safes
to be on the right side. Later on, one of m!
plaYmates had the misfortune to intlict sever
cash on the back of my dexter hand, nearl.
severing the tendOns of the index, prlnclpa
and third finger. This was III the winter
Spring brought the necessity for more mixers
and before my wound was fully healed, | wat
required to aid III the performance of that ser.
vice. The consequence was swelling of those
Joints and resulting crookedness which the
fingers on that hand have never outgroWn
But none of my friends seem inclined to excuse
anv crOokedness in my acts on that account
NV experience in the dairy business has de-
clined, very sensiby since then, and 1T Is now
more than a quarter of a century since 1 owned
my last COW. At that time we had
a quite pretty, but recently-imported,
German servant girl. to whom was assigned
the care of the COW. Among other things, she
was told always to wash the cows bag before
milking. We forgot, however, that she heard
as well as spoke in broken English. One morn
ing neighbOr passing noticed Anna bathing
the patient animals back with cold water and
vigorously rubbing it in with cloth. Anna
loquitur: "Meesther Lobdel, [ wonder vot
vor l dose desc dings." 81 wonder myself,
Anna; notice you doing it every day."
| ''Vells,' returned the damsel, with TeutOnic
placidity, /" Nlish SchtoweH she dells me [ shall
| efery tay wash te cOwsh bak, but she not dells
me w shall dose it." She had mistaken the
English sound q for the German 4, and poor
bossy had endured the nfiiction in silence until
this little episode corr ected the mistake.
This unpleasant enough for the
COW, but not quite so hard on her as
| the mistake Of Annals Irish successor,
who was instructed always to slop the cow
of hat no Df
like that in the barrel of the widow of Zareph-
ath in the days of the prophet Elijah, wasted
not, although the quantity of milk and the
COW herself, did, Bridget was eatechised after
this fashion: Do you lop the cow every even
ing, Bridget? Viz mum, shure that do. Do
you never fail? Fale is it ? Shure divil a
tonne did fale, since yez towld me to do that
saim'. But we do not notice any diminutlon
in the meal. what do you sIop her with? Is it
the mail yere schpaken NV? Sure an its little
[ know iv the mail, but the haste is gttin that
woild wild de shloppin I'm afther givin er, that
it's divil iv tonne I'm afther havin to git
feminist her to milk, at all, at ali. But what
do you slOp her with, Bridget, if not with the
meal? And what slid the loikes of meh be
dom to slop the COW with mail? Be CORA, it's
wild meh shoe, I'd be sloppin her to be shure,
and it's moigEty convanient.
Having thus presented my credentials for
admission to your galaxy, or milky way, in my
own personal experience, and having brought
the subject down into the domains of modern
history, have only to say, in conclusion, that
If any bull Is suspected, or discovered in what
| have said, you may be assured that 1t is of
the Irish persuasion and will be, l trust, per-
tectly harmless in this your beautiful "China
shop" / have no fancy for that biped of the
name that lnfests our boards of trade and
fercely losses the price of our cereals high
out of reach and sight of our toiling poor.
That he and his traditional antagonist, the
commercial WIN 10
values of your products into a mar
rover compass than any of your power
full presses could do, may ever be kept out of
your honest marts, Is my fervent wish and
hope. Let the jewel of fair play ever be the
brightest gem IN your commercial coronaL. If
any of your products should be 4" off color"
and you desire to give us gilt-edged butter Or
cheese, be careful that in your efforts to cor
rect that, you do not get the letter u, in gilt,
by introducing anything deleterious, and thus
substitute real evil for what was an apparent,
but harmless blemlsh. Be as honest as the
face of the noble animal that only can make
your calling possible, 1t were better that your
butter than your morals be off color"
Again wishing you hearty Godspeed in all
yodr efforts to improve your methods and ex
tend your honorable and useful business, and
in behalf of our people and our municipality,
extending to you, again, hearty welcome, l
congratulate you, thank you.
The welcome address on behalf of the
Exposition and Merchants Associations
was then delivered by John r. Good
rich, who said:
GENTLEMEN:-It would hardly seem neces-
sary that any additional words were needed at
this time to assure you of the hearty and cordial
greeting extended to you by our people, The
| ex governor of the state of Wisconsin in fitting
and earnest words bids you welcome. Our own
fair city through its chief magistrate invites
n of itv i,,h
sincere expressions. 1 am glad, however, of
the opportunity of saying IN behalf Of the
| Milwaukee Industrial Exposition Association
| (under whose auspices.you are this day con-
vened) that the citizens of Milwaukee are
| greatly honored by your presence, and are
| deeply interested in the objects which have
! called you here. 1t is to be regarded as mat
| ter of no ordinary moment when so many dis
| tinguished and representative men from ali
| parts of our land have assembled for the pur-
| pose of promoting this highly important indus
| try. And we are glad to meet you here under
our own 5 vine and fig tree" and take you by
| the hand and make your personal acquaintance.
can truly say, 1t is none other than warm
| cordial-welcome we offer you-and hope and
believe the results of this convention will prove
a mutual benefit and pleasure to us all. 1t
would be quite out of place for me to offer any
suggestions (Were l competent to do SOY with
regard to the practical management of these
most valuable products. But can assure you
we are, nevertheless, very deeply concerned in
these articles of food. 1t is a source of con-
graduation to us that SO much inter
est of late is being manifested
in the dairy products of our country; therefore
anything that will awaken and stimulate the
American people to give Us better butter and
better cheese, will be hailed as blessing to the
whole human family.
Mr.. Goodrich concluded his remarks
by giving statistics to show the import
ance of the dairy interests.
Responses to the addresses of welcome
were made by Austin BeInap, of Boston,
president of the Butter, Cheese and Egg
Association; on the part of the north
western Dairyman's Association by W.
d. Hoard, of Fort Atkinson; in behalf OF
the State Dairymen's Association by
Hiram Smith; G. F. Dexter on behalf Of
the Chicago Produce Exchange and Col
L. d. Curtis, secretary of the American
Dairymen's Association, responded fol
the dairymen of the east. The ad
dresses and responses were heartily ap