The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-08-15
sPOOPENDYKE MOVES. /.
But the Sewing Machine Got the
Bestof Him. In the Eoli6wing.
Manner.

Bestof Hip.fn the Followirg,
Manner.
Say, my DEAR" observed Mr.. Spoops
endyke, Strengthening up and scratching
his ear, "what did the man say about
boxing up this eewiBe machine 2..,----------
"Why he said to take the cover of
and" f ~ TSfGII sYtgFEJT
I've got the cover of !" snorted Mr.:
Spoopendvke. ~sbid he say to take 1T
of twiceS Amt once binding on this
machine 3'' 5 s94 a1szr -
"Certainly." replied Ms. Spoopen.
dyke; ;F"then you take the top off and"
'Did that man say anything about
boxing up this machine9 That's what
l asked you," vociferated Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. Il know all about the cover
and top. You can't teach me anything
about the top and cover. Iwant some
information about This bird cage looking
arrangement! Did be say whether I
was to take that off of anything ?"
The machine goes in that, H1tsered
Mrs. .Sponpendyke. And then this
cover nails oveE ttSf sffsT55r, re
nav that's the way like TO hear d
woman talk" remarked Mr., Spoopeh-
ldyke, betakipg himself cheeriiy, to his
work. IF you'd always ans wer straight
up we'd have heen moved week ago"
"Batyou-must screwtbe Top on the
bottom OF the top and tie the cover un-
derneath," said Mrs. Spoopendyke,who,
having been complimented on adetail, de,
termined. woman like, to know all about
it.:s.s,T vfrsye1 si+e-ssrys!'ii
"What stable have you been boarding
in nowp" roared Spoopendyke, drop.
| ping the hammer on his foot "What
asvlum for INDECENT jackasses did you
get that scripture quotation from
How'm | going TO screw the top on the
bottom of'ltselfP Where's the screw
that does that ?, just jerk, your thumb
in the direction. OF the intercop7ertible
screw that viii screw thing On in that
va, I" ,-sfosfi8 ysswtFef
/ why you jnsaturn the top over ON
the bottom, the man said, and screw it
tethe-tep ;tha.---n---.-..---------4------......
"Come over!" yelled Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke. tagging at the works, from which
he had neglected to take the thumb screw,
Tome over The wsysthe man said for
veuato! Hear me! Come over! There
cant any piece OF seventy dollars in,
genuity get the best of the manufacturer
when Spoopendyke's within reaeh!.
c me over and screw on The bottom,
like the man SAID! Ginning over p and
Mr. 'Spoopendyke's hands slipped, land.
ing him on thesbsck CT his neck ini the
crate his wife had purchased to box the
machine ia xS.-S s.u
'Never mind, DEAR" said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, trembling with apprehension for
the safety Of the machine "Let the
man come and 10 1t himself, If he knows
so much about it,
"Dod CAST the man" howled Mr.
Spoopendvke, springing 10 his feet and
moving on the works once more. "Think
be can break this old cast iron imitation
OF an inebriate home any quicker'n
can Z" and he grasped the top of the. in.
strument and hauled away till his eyes
hung out "C1me over to The dulcet
bottom and be screwed on. Oh, come
where the glory of being screwed to the
bottom OF the top awaits Thee. Come
and see this miracle ef plastering the
top and bottom OF the same, thing ito.
gether as performed by Spoopendyke,
the apostle Of impossib:lilies Come to
the dod-" But here the thumb screw
broke, driving Dir. Spoopendy Ike into the
closet like, a spike. where be. sat holding
the mutilated top in his arms and look.
ing dazed. -
Are ycu hurt, dear2" asked Mrs.
Spoopepdyke, rushing towa.d him.
"Hurt! shrieked Mr. Spoopendyke.
IAN i hurt! t"D'ye see that thumb
joint hanging to that screw Wow-w.
"" squealed4Mr Spoopendyke, dancing
to his feet, and ldashing the machinery
into the crate. Get in there, quickr'
and he tumbled the rest OF the business
in after, where it stuck cornerwise in
spite of his effarts 4oldiive it in with
his leg is this what the man said 2"
and he Jumped at 1t with both feet .'Bot-
ton appear 10 be coming any nearer I'd
the top flom where J ou stand ?" and be
whirled the crate around and then kicked
at the corner of the macilnes Does
that'screw strike you as. ebegiDuing to
take hold2. Gotta notion that this ma
chinery can se moved from here 10
Hackensack without scratching any paint
off the farm houses along the road"
and Concentrating himsellI in,sone last
effort Mr sSpoopendyke TUNED the crate
| over on the machine and breathcd hstd.
You've done that splendidly," cooed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to restore
peace between Mr.. Spoopendvke and
the wreck of her sewing machine. sN"lt
isn't exactly The way the man said but
iknow-",ct ~ .9xAf4 ma tsas@yagf
..'Oh. you know all about ill.,. howied
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "lf could build q
front door and veranda t, your inforA
nation, I'd stand You in Tub oof salt
water and start summer restrt Z Oh,
you're posted on what TO do! You an.
derstand mechanics Some day. II ft
you out with price list and strikes and
start rolling MILL" and MFR. Spoopen.
dyke wen. for, his hat and tore out Of
| the room. eAs
ATS pretty we'll scratched, but other
wise lt's all right commented Mrs.
tSpoopendyke, examining tie wreck.
And III get the man to box it. ! think
III put this bottle OF ink in bis light
coat pocket. He'll want it as soon as
he gets our there, and he'll And it as soon
as he sits downm sh 9.j,
1t would be pity if England, in at
tempting to bolster up the Khedive,