Connecticut western news., 1882-11-08
WIT AND WISDOM.
THE first case of black male-Ham.


 IN UNIVERSITY it is easy to despise life; he is truly brave who can endure wretched life.
 THE mind wishes for what it has missed, and occupies itself with retrospective con- temptation.
 GREAT ideas travel slowly, and for time noiselessly, as the gods whose feet were shod with wool.
 A WEAK mind is like microscope, which magnifes trifing things, but cannot receive great ones.
 OUR chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. This is the service of friend.
 A GENEROUS man will place the benefits he confers beneath his feet, those he re- ceives nearest his heart.
 ENVY feeds upon the living; after death it ceases; then every mans well-earned honors defend him against calumny.
 FATHER" Isaac, if you are good to- day, you may carry up some wood, but if you are naughty you must carry it up"
 THE reason why some of the street lamps burn all night is because the light is so small 1t is afraid to go out alone in the dark.
 WASTED time: The time wasted by men feeling in the wrong pocket would make the next generation rich if they had it.
 MRS. LANaTRY, it is said, first con- ceived the idea of coming to this country on being shown picture of Mrs. Lydia | E. Pinkham as a type of American beauty. y.-Rochester Express
 PEAsANT-"I wish to get divorce; my wife drinks too much" Priest "How can you say such thing, you who are drunk every day?" Peasant" That's | just the reason. Some one in the family has got to be sober."
 "WHY do women so often wander aim- lessly in the murky solitudes of the dead past, breeding over days forever gone p' asks correspondent This is indeed a difficult question to answer. There are dry goods stores in the dead past.
 GENERAL Wo1sELY, the hero of the Egyptian war, is the author of book called "The Soldiers Pocket-Book for field service" As the British soldier gets only twenty cents day, he can't have much use for pocket t-book. k.--Norristoso Herdld
 A FEMALE, young or old, who does 6 mans work ought to get mans pay. True; and if you will look at the new fall styles, you will perceive that many women who don't do mans work are getting pretty good share of mans pay.---Lo1isVille Jouyraol.
 A NEW YORK CrrY editor went to se- the play of "Richelieu" the other even- ing, and when Barrett rendered the lines: "In the hands of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword, /" the noted journalist arose, bowed pro foundly and exclaimed, 70, thank you, sir, thank you.''
 A NEW baby recently arrived in the family of a journalist, and papa was ex- cessively proud over the event. Turning to the old black nurse, "Aunty, '" said he, stroking the little pate, "this boy seems to have journalistic head" "Oh," {" cried the untutored..old ..Aunty, soothingly, "never you mind bout dat; datn come all right in time"
 PLANTATION philosophy: Laziness is de mother of promises. De man what tries , ter be boy ain't got half as much sense as de boy what tries to be a man. The man wid eddycation ain't got nigh SC much excuse fur tellin' lie as the ignore ant man, case de larned man hab got g bigger range ob truth. h.-Ark0,asoaD 7rGv- eIer
 "I WOULD like to be excused, your , Honor," said a Chicago man who had a been drawn on the jury. "What for ??
 "I owe man $5, and I want to hunt him up and pay it. "Do you mean to
 say you would hunt up man to pay a
 bill instead of waiting for him to hunt you
 upp" "Yes, your Honor" "Do you
 belong to Chicago?" "Yes, sir.". "You
 are excused. don't want any man on 8 jury who will lie like that" n Ir TOOK the boys all one Saturday to r. do it, but they searched through the 6 bushels of chestnuts in their parents a barns and got out quart, every chestnut Q of which was wormy. And the next h Monday they took those chostnuts to 6 school and left them on the teachers
 desk, and the latter cracked chestnuts a looked at them and threw them away, f pretty much all the forenoon, before he h come to realize the situation, and then he o was so mad he lost pound in weight. = II Boston Post.
 d A GENTLEMAN explains to an hones' O peasant, who has been allured by the doc e trines of Communism, that even if it were 1t possible to have redistribution of prop V erty, his share wouldn't amount to nor, , than 300 francs, according to the lates l. statistics of population and wealth IT "Well," says the honest peasant with , Q smirk of satisfaction, "three hundred a francs would make very tidy little sun IF along with what I have already. Com ,- munism is by no means such bad thing.
 A YOUNG husband, desirous of provok
 ing a chance to pay a compliment to hi
 young wife and of receiving an assurance of affection, says, with an aspect of sur prise !: My dear, Iheard very remark | able thing to-day Whatshisname tol,