The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-18
THE DAILY ARGUS.
Spoopendyke
Boxing a sewing.Machtne.

and" -
I've got the cover Off, snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. ibid he say to take it
off twice. Amt once binding on this
machine?'
Certainly" replied Mrs Spoopen-
dyke, then you take the top off and
Did that man say anything about
boxing up this machine? That's what
| asked YOU" vociferated Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. Il know all about the cover and
top. You can't teach me anything
about the top and cover. want some
information about this dod-gasted bird
cage looking arrangement! Did he say
whether | was to take that off of any
thingp'
1.-The machine goes in that fiuttered
Mrs. Spoopendyke. And then this
slat-cover nails over it"
Now that's the way / like to hear a
woman talk, ;" remarked Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, betaking himself cheerily TO his
work. IF you'd always answer straight
up we'd have been moved week ago"
But you must screw the top on the
bottom of the top and tie the cover I'M
derneath," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, who,
having been complfmented on detail,
determined, womanlike, to know all
about it.
What stable have you been boarding
in nowP" roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
dropping the hammer on his foot.
What asylum for INDECENT jackasses
did you get that scriptural quotation
from? How'm 1 going to screw the
measly top on the dod gasted bottom of
itselfP Where's the screw that does
thatP just jerk your thumb in the di-
rection of the interconvertible screw
that will screw thing on in that way?"
'Why, you just turn the top over on
the bottom. the man said, and screw it
to the top; that"
Come overr yelled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, Juggling at the works, from which
he had neglected to take the thumb
screw. Come over the way the man
said for you to! Hear mel Come over!
There can't any dod-gasted piece of
seventy-dollar ingenuity get the best of
the manufacturer when Spoopendyke's
within reach! Come over and screw on
the bottom. like the man saidi Coming
over?' and Mr.. Spoopendyke's hands
slipped, landing him on the back of his
neck in the crate his wife had purchased
to box the machine in.
Never mind, dear, y said Mrs. Spoop-
endvke, trembling with apprehension
for the safety of the machine. LET
the man come and do it himself if he
knows so much about it,
bod CAST the manr' howled Mr..
Spoopendyke, springing to his feet and
moving on the works once more
Think he can break this measly old
cast-iron imitation of an inebriate home
any quicker / camp and he grasped
the top Of the instrument and hauled
away till his eyes hung out. Come
over to the dulcet bottom and be screwed
on . come where the glory of being
screwed to the bottom of the top awaits
thee. Come over and see this miracle
of plastering the top and bottom of the
same thing together as performed by
Spoopendyke, the apostle of impossi-
bilities! Come to the dod-r' But
here the thumbscrew broke, driving Mr.
Spoopendyke into the closet like spike,
where he sat holding the mutilated top
in his arms and looking dazed
Are you hurt. dear?'' asked Mrs
Spoopendyke, rushing toward him.
Hurt shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Am hurt? Dye see that thumb-joint
hanging to that measly screw? Wow
w-wm squealed Mr.. Spoopendyke, dane
ing to his feet, and dashing the machine
ry into the crate. ''Get in there, quickr'
and he tumbled the rest of the business
in after, where it struck cornerwise in
spite of his effort to drive it in with his
leg. lis this what the man said?" and
he jumped at it with both feet bot
tom appear to be coming any nearer to
the top from where you stand?" and he
whlrled the crate around and then
kicked at the corner of the machine.
''Does that screw strike you as begin
ming to take hold? Got notion that
this machinery can be moved from here
to Hackensack without scratching any
paint off the farm-houses along the
road?" and concentrating himself in
one last effort Mr.. Spoopendyke turned
the crate over on the machine and
breathed hard.
You have done that splendidly,"
cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to re-
store peace between Mr.. Spoopendyke
and the wreck of her sewing machine.
at isn't exactly the way the man said,
but know
80 you know all about itl'' eff /
could build front door and a veranda
to your information, I'd stand you in
tub of salt water and start a summer-re-
sort! o you're posted on what to do!
I GU understand mechanics! Some dav
I'll fit You out with a price-list and
strike, and start a rolIing-millv' and
Mr.. Spoopendyke went for his hat, and
tore out of the room.
Its pretty well scratched. but other
wise it's all right commenced Mrs.
Spoopendyke, examining the wreck.
s'And I'll get the man to box it. /
think I'll mt this bottle 0f ink in his