The Tombstone epitaph., 1882-03-13
SAN FRANCISCO LETTER.
Wallace" upon CrematlOn-COach. men with Liveries to I.et-The Bus- mess Given Away.
SAN FRANCISCO, February 28.

is now occupying the minds of the community at large is the subject of
 CREMATION.
 To be sure it is most dismal sub- ject, but amongst so much gaiety, there must be something dismal to relieve the monotony of things; and then q society has recently been formed here for the purpose of fur thering the interests of cremation. Hence the new project needs must occupy the minds of the people, who, as you know, are bound to dissect anything new. When some five or six years ago an adventurous person, deep in the mysterious study of an cient deaths and burials, proposed to revive the custom of the ancients of burning their dead, he was universal ly hooted at, and described as lun- atic and " crank" But there was method in his madness, as can be seen by a number of cremation houses, which now exist and carry on business in the United Sta es and Europe. People have, after having reflected carefully upon the subject, become convinced that cremation is not such a ed handed crime as they were wont to believe it; and that it is far better to be reduced to dust immediately than to be thrown into a hole in the ground and gradually returned "to the dust from whence we came" through the united efforts of time and ground worms. In San Francisco long and fierce have been the discussions upon having our
 CITIES OF THE DEAD
 within "the walls of the city," and many an argument has been brought forward to show how extremely dan gerous cemeteries are to the health of large cities. How the rain per, colating through the graves, flows of in some water vein to feed some well or acqueduct; how people drinking this essence of death are struck down by the "hand of the fell destroyer" how the summer winds, blowing with the ferceness which only San Fran cisco winds can blow, over these fields Of dead, carry with them pes tilence and death. Should crema tion become popular here, and there is possibility that it will, then bid farewell to these evils. Cremation would cure those and many other evils which l might fill columns tell ing about. Those who have dread of midnight body -snatchers and dissecting rooms of medical colleges will then be obliged to admit that body snatchers don't want "stiff" after cremation; and that the wonders of the human system can be studied better than in handful of ashes, the result of cremation. Whether this new society will be a success, depends, of course, on the people. If they desire to be put into the ground after death, and have their friends pay cemetery gardener S5 month to keep the grave in good order, and put such things as "use St. Jacobs oil" on the headstones, then, most decidedly, it will be a failure. But, in the interest of hu- manity, it IS hoped that cremation will become more and more popular, until the ancients can rise from their ashes of thousand years and say, "Well done, old boys, follow in the footsteps of your daodies."
 COACHMEN WITH LIvERIEs TO LET.
 To return to more earthly things, "coachmen, with liveries, to let" The above announcement, painted Tn small gold letters, on modest black signboard, attracted my attention as I was walking along Market street the other day. Now there is nothing so very overpowering in the assertion that coachmen were to let, although the advertisement does speak of the aforesaid coachm en as if they were horses, and not human beings; "with liveries," however, struck my eye, and walking into the office where 1 was to fined o,ch. man to let, l was met by the O, ner of this peculiar business; l was greeted with the greatest heartiness, and, upon introducing myself as
 AN EPITAPH REPORTER,
 in search of an article for the paper, was requested to take seat. l sat down and could not help noticing that ything ..in the room hinted of luxury and a good business. "Do you have many patrons in your line of business, My" said l. "Oh, yes, ] suppose l must say business is pretty good, for, of the five men in my employ, It is seldom that one of 'em hasn't job on hand" "What do they have to do?' "Well, I'll tell you; you see there are a number of ladies in this city who have a great longing for society and fashionable friends. In order to gratify the longing for society, they must gain admission to the sacred precincts of upper tendon, so they