davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05
Practical Civil Service Reform.

The House Committee on Civil Service
Reform is understood to have decided to
report in favor of trying what seems to be
| a sensible sort of an experiment in the di-
rection, not 50 much of reforming as of
establishing a Civil Service system. For
the truth we have at present no system
whatever. Appointments are. and ALWAYS
have been made in an indiscriminate,
haphazard way, without any system or
methed, and with little reference to anv
rule except that to which so much obiec-
tiOn is made, and with good reason-the
test of partisan service. So when we have
been talking all along about reforming the
present system we have been using a
misnOmer: there is no system about it.
Personal and political favoritism and the
caprice Of the appointing power have
regulated and governed the appointments
to subordinate places always. The thing
to be done consequently is to establish
something like a Civil Service system.
We cannot reform the system till we have
it. And the House Committee has, as it
seems to us, taken a very practical and
sensible step in approving a plan for ex-
perimenting in this direction. II is pro-
posed to proceed in tentative way at
the beginning, which possibly may not
suit the radical reformers who think
everything should be done in a twinkling
and the millennium at once brought in.
In short, the plan is to build up something
that is not expected to be perfect at the
start, but that will furnish basis to work
upon.
The necessity for the appointment of
large additional force in the Pension Office
to push forward the accumulated work of
that department furnishes the opportunity
which the committee recommend should
be embraced. Their plan is to appoint
nOn-partisaR Beard of Examiners to con-
duct the examination of all applicants
who present themselves; this board to
admit all who come to an examination,
regardless of politics, and to conduct the
examination with view of determining
the fitness of the applicant for the special
work of the position he seeks.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Senator Bayard, one of the most out-
spoken free trader in the Democratic par
ty, voted on Tuesday in favor of the ap-
pOintment of a Commission to revise the
tariff. This bill the Democrats have re-
peatedly declared to be in the interest OF
protection, since it will postpone all action
upon the tariff till next year at least, and
probably till after the next Presidential
election. Then why did Mr.. Bayard vote
for it? Simply because ne thinks it will
be better for the Democratic party to have
the tariff issue out of the way till after
1884 He is in favor of free trade, but he
puts himself on record as opposed to dis
turbing the present tariff system. This is
inconsistent, and we fear Mr. Watterson
will call it cOwardly. but we are unable to
see how any Democrat who does not wish
to have his party commit suicide can take
any other course-N. y Tribune.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05
Hofenstein on the Military.

Il would like to get away de sdore a
leetle early dis evening, Misder Hoffen-
stein,' said Herman, as he began taking
down the goods which were hung up as a
display in front of the establishment.
"Vere vas you going?" inquired Hof-
fenstein.
: / want to go to de meeting uf my Mill
Diary company" replied the clerk.
To de mllidary meeting; my gr-a-cius,
Herman, don't can afford to bay twendy
dollars a mOndth, you kknow, und den let
you waste your dime nit de milidary.
Ven all uf de drOubles vas going on nit
de strikers, uMd de milidary vas wanted.
dells you dot you can go NIT 'em und fight
for de law. But nobody fights, und vile l
vas going around delling my frendts dot
you vas mit de milidary, und dot you will
fight sawmill backwards, you don't do
noding but blay boxer. For dree days
you vas init de soldiers, und you don't
shoot nopody yet. Efery minute vat
passed expected to hear uf de fighting,
ivy AAoNh WV SOAhCo Wy SIOIS
says to him; Vas de droops out? p und he
says Yes, dey vas out; dey shust vent
down to get dinner Dink ufit, Herman,
und don't exbect dot l will let you waste
your dime mid de soldiers. l know a
couple uf things about de milidary myself
Ven de var vas going on vas de member
uf combany vat sdayed at home und
kept de Yankees away. We only lost Won
man. He vent to hardy und eat so
much dot he vas killed NIT de cramps,
und We dook him to de graveyard und
shoots guns Offer his grave"
"But, Misder Hoffenstein,'' expostu-
lated the clerck, it vasant my fault dot
dey milidary don't fight nOding. 1t
vas"
Don't dalk to me, Herman. l want
you to keep away from de milidary, und
instead uf Walking around de sdreets mid
gun, dinking dot all de laties vas look
ing at no Won else but you. Id would be
bedder uf you dake de old shoes from de
box under de gOunder und wipe dem mid
placking prush, und dell der beoble dot
you shust got dem in from Yew York
Dere vos more money in it you know
~ o. Times
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Eighty-fve tons of mail matter handled
every day last year--3l, OPS tons, or
6S,255,OOO pounds in the aggregate-that
may give faint idea of the volume of
business done in the New York postoffice.
1t is wonderful hive of industry. where
quick brains and hands work ceaselessly
day and night. The average of tons
handled daily in 1877 was sixty-one. This
steady growth in mail business, not only
here but throughout the country, is good
index of the growing and prevailing pros
perity. There be mails and males-and
it is equally favorable for the land when
both increase in ii.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Jumbo has been boxed up and swung
intO his berth, and now sets out ON his
American tour. Tears, entreaties, injunc-
tions, imprecations, and even hard cash
have been of no avail. The agitation
caused by his departure has sensibly
diminished since it became a foregone
conclusion that he would have to go. He
has already ceased to be regarded in
London as unique representative of a
race that is rapidly dying out; and by the
time he arrives in port he may shrink into
utter insignifcance as a poor specimen
that is not worth looking at outside of
America. He comes, too, with a shock
ingly bad character, for at their late meet
ing the Council of the Geological Gardens
declared that Jumbo was such danger
Gus brute Mr.. Barnum might have had
him for nothing. Dark-skinned elephants,
particularly when vicious, are apparently
sometimes as inconvenient as white ones.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05
FOOTSTEPS OF ANGELS.
BY HENRY wADswoRTH LoNGrEIlow

When the hours of day are numbered
And the voices of the night
Wake the better soul that slumbered
TO holy, calm delight
Ere the evening lamps are lighted,
And. like phantoms grim and tan.
Shadows from the fltful freight
Dance upon the parlor wall.
Then the forms of the departed
Enter at the open door,
The beloved ones. the true-hearted,
Comes to visit me once more,
He, the young and strong. who cherished
Noble lOngings for the strife.
By the roadside fell and perished.
Weary with the march of life!
They, the holy ones and weakly,
Who the cross of suffering bore,
Folded their pale hands so meeklv
Spake with us On earth no more!
And with them the being beauteous
Who unto my youth was given,
More than all things else to love me.
And is now saint in Heaven.
With slow and noiseless footstep
Comes that messenger divine,
Takes the vacant chair beside me,
Lays her gentle hand in mine.
And she sits and gazes at me
With those deep and tender eyes,
Like the stars SO still and saint-like,
Looking downward from the skies.
Uttered not. set eOmprehended,
Is the spirits vOiceless prayer.
Soft rebukes. in'blessings ended.
Breathing from her lips of air
q. though oft depressed and lonely
All my fears are laid aside,
If but remember only
such as these have lived and died.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

The lengths that people will go to to salts
fy their cravings for liquor or opium, was
aptly illustrated at Lewes few days since
when an aged woman was detected in
stealing the chickens of a resident of that
place, for the purpose, as she admitted, OF
selling them for laudanum to satify the
craving ola depraved appetite. The old
woman was not arrested, but allowed to
depart upon a promise that she would
pay for the chickens she had previously
stolen.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

A lesson for young men =" How charm
ingly beautiful the Easter cards are this
year, are they not?" said Algeron to Isa-
bella last evening, as he sat in the parlor
making talk" "Yes, indeed, they are
beautiful; but there are some things l
would prize more than Easter cards.
81 presume so. If l should offer-otfer
to" 81 don't know what ma would
say to an offer in Lent" And she blush
ed beautifully. Algeron was entrapped
nicely. He was merely going to offer tc
escort her to the opera next week, and
now he has got to have her lean on him
through life. A young man cannot be
too guarded in his conversation.--Neu
HdUeR Register.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Queer things sometimes happ'
transmitting kilograms. A PhIlad,
man arranged with a friend in New
to telegraph him the moment his wi
rived from Europe. A few days aft.
friend telegraphed: Vessel is in.
wife is now here" In transmittin,
last two words were run to /
and the waiting husband read witu
sternation: Vessel is in. Your v
nowhere"
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

After Garfield had been dinned
two talkative women at the White
he walked away and asked a gent
in corner: DO you know what
derivation of bother ?" 1t comes
both-ear-two people talking to y
once.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

FooD FOR Young AND OLD.-Food and
medicine for young and old, prepared
without fermentation, from Canadian Bar
ley Malt, Hops, Quinine, Bark, etc. Malt
Bitters are warrented more Nourishing,
strengthening, Vitalizing and Purifying,
by reason of their richness in Bone and
Muscle Producing Material than all other
forms of malt or medicine, while free from
the objections urged against malt liquors.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Part of bottle of Parker's Ginger Tonic
cured nae Of rheumatism. My dispeptic
wife got so much relief from the balance
that she tried another bottle, and now we
can truly say we have never had better
health.--A Boston Mechanic.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

The next dodge of the tramp will be in
the role of sufferer by the Mississippi
overflow. Call his attention to the fact
thai he hasn't been near water for six
months, and it may confuse him.-BostOm
Post
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

My husband had Drunken Habi
could not overcome until Parker,s @
Tonic took away his thirst for sliraa
restored his old energy of mind
nerves, and gave him strength to q
to business.-CincinnGti Lddg.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

The Pope is about to create seven new
carninals. 1t would be as well, therefore,
not to buy your spring hat until we learn
the particular style His Holiness has
chosen for his new creations.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

"When l publicly testified that
been cured of a terrible skin humor
Cutieura Remedies, l did so that q
might be cured, and do not regrc
time given to answering inquiries. y
Wm. Taylor, Boston.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

If people who are troubled with
would make use of Ayers Cherry Pc
before attending church or rpublic LED
they would avoid coughing, and the
fort of hearers and speaker woul
greatly promoted. The Pectorals 81
public speakers to speak clearly and
out fatigue, having an immediate
wonderful effect in increasing the
and flexibility of the voice.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Society ladies say that parties may be
given during Lent if the guests do not
dance. This is as far as society can ever
go, for forty days rest from dancing is
ABSOLUTELY necessary for the cure of ball
room corns and bunions.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

CATARRH.-Relief. in five minutes in
every case; gratifying, wholesome relief
beyond money value. Cure begins from
FIRST application and is rapid, radical and
permanent. Ask for Sanford's Radical
Cure. Complete for 81.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Don't be alarmed at Bright's Dis
Diabetes, or any disease of the kid
liver or urinary organs, as Hop 81
will certainly and lastingly cure you,
it is the only thing that. viii. 4
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05
WHOLE NO. l,39
Scissors and Paste.

One touch of malaria makes
achin'
The paper-hanger'. business )
stuck up.
The shad is FISH that wears a I'M
for a back bone.
Guano is fertilizer. but il
grow Presidents.
The telephone has developed an
~ new school of hellocutiOn.
Lent ought to pass very rapidly
are so many fast days in it, YOU kno
When a couple make up their mi
get married, it may be called a tie '
Ii there is anything an undertake.
next to a cheap funeral it is crsmati
1t Is estimated that the Chicago
lers fleece the public out of sS.OOl
year.
II Is believed that Guiteaus resnI
will trouble him more than his insn
next June.
Heat the bread knife very hof
cutting new bread. This will D
crumbling.
One OF the latest and most popula
in England is Don't Kick Mother
/ She's Down.
The Cincinnati Saturday Night b
covered that prize-fghters are addiI
holding Pound Socials."
Why is the discovery of the Mort
like an lllict whiskey manuia
Because it is a secret still.
\ Dayton girl has named her de
lover Conkling, because he voluI
went back on sure thing.
A cynic says he agrees with Lon
that life IS not an empty dream
a full dream, pretty much all niglI
A coal dealer recently received
promiAent shOddyite, who had j
Europe, an order for five tons of q
livered a la cart.
\ German professor claims to
to tell mans character by feelin d
nose. A nose which feels like she|
is a sign of a statesman.
1t may be secuted as fulsome Il
for you to tell young lady that|
winsome and fair, but she will 4
whether yO tell her so or not.
The poet says: "StOns walls dol
prison make" Bdt those who havl
getting through EN- thinks diffeI
Why is poetry SO misguidingP
The most popular book agent i
Philadelphia. When snubbed Id
mad, and Immediately goes of, !
I'll never speak to you again"
Tennyson's charge of the
Brigade" reads as if he wrote il
galloping over a plowed field ahea
bull who wanted to see him for q Z
or two; hut most anything is poetr1
adays.-Free Press.
There's nothing selfish about Cl
people. When a bakers family Ii
smallpox the baker divided his tin
tween nursing the patients and wait
the public. He was perfectly williI
others should have some oft.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

1t is said that sharks will not bite a
swimmer who keeps his legs in motion.
If you can keep kicking longer than q
shark can keep waiting, yon are all right.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

A pure strengthening toais. fses
whiskey and alcohol, cures dyspepeia,
similar diseases. 1t has never been "a
led. Browns Iron Bitters.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

BRIGHT's DISEASE OF THE KIDNEYS,
DIABETEs.-No danger from these dis
eases if you use Hop Bitters; besides, be-
ing the best family medicine ever made.
Trust no other.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05
Thought He was Schoolmaster,

a Dutchman, sitting in the door of his
tavern, in the far West, is approached bv
tall, thin Yankee, who is imnipratino
westward on foot, with a bundle hung ON
a cane over his shoulder
Veil Mister Walking Stick. va, Won
vant?' inquired the Dutchman Of the
Yankee.
" Rest and refreshment. replied the
printer.
Supper and lotchin', I recon YOU
vant?"
es, supper and lodging ifyou please.
" Pc ye Yankee peddler mid chewslrv
in your pack to sheat der gals with"
" No, sir, am no Yankee peddIer,"
A singin' master. vat is too lazy to
work q
NO, sir
A shenteel shoemaker, We, loves 10
measure der gals feet and hankles better
tan to make der shoes? 2"
No, sir, or should have meuJed INV
own shoes.
\ book achent vot bodders der school
committees till they do vot YOU wish.
chOost to get rid ofyou. me friendt >"
Guess again, sir: l am no book agent :.
Ter tyefuls. A dentist, preakinc de,
peoble's jaw at q dollar a schnag. und run.
ming off nit der daughtcr?"
No, sir am not tooth extractor
PhrenologuS, den; feeling der Young
folks heads like 50 many cabbitch?',
No, am no phrcnologist.
Veil, den, vat der Iycfuls can Won he
ChOost tell, you shall have der best sas
sage for supper, and stay oil night. free
! gratis, mitout a cent, and chill of whis
Key to start Out nit in der morn
i am ii humble disciple of Faust;
professor Of the art which preserves al
arts--'' typosraphcr at Your service. sir.
! NOtsch dot p
\ printer, sir; Il man thal prints boot,
and newspapers.
man vot. printoch n"osepapers. Oh
yaw, yaw! Walk up! a man vot printscl
noosepapers | Wish may he shot if di,
not think You wa, Il poor tyelu of Il dis
trick schoolmaster who works fornoddine
and boards round fought you va
him. R"rIiagtoN Hawkeyc.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Prairie dogs viii dig 200 feet for y
There ara no prairie dogs In Dover.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Kentucky girls don't have 10 50 I
from home to marry Bourbss Princs>
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

An effective medicine for kidney dis
eases, low fevers apd nervous prostratisn,
and well worthy Of a trial, is Browns Iren
Bitters.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Two Columbus men are haviag a |
suit over an iron wedge worth 40 cent
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Esthetic editors have their paste made
from san -four now.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

An exchange says: Mans average life
is SO years." DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup will
always live.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

The Washington correspondent ef the
Iror'dencc Star tells Il story which shows
that the mere incurring of disgraceful
and heavy bill for the Government 10 pav
was not perhaps the worst feature in con-
nection with the Congressional junketing
party that went to Cleveland to bury the
late President. A trusted friend ofGen.
Garield's, one who, though Democrat.
had often shared his counsels was of the
party. He had at one time been addicted
to intemperance, and had even known
what it was TO lie in the gutter; but his
own conscience and the prayers of friends
had made a sober man of him after he was
sent to Washington and his precept and
example here had both been on the right
side for years. remember to have heard
him say heartily, in bidding Mrs. Hayes
good night, after attending the first of her
three annual temperance parties to the
diplomatic corps, 1 like your pluck
This man, shocked out of his equilibrium
at the calamity to our common country.
and tempted by the drinking that was
going on around him, is said to have
proved false to the restraints he had i'm
posed upon himself, and drank to such ex-
cess that he was put to bed perfectly be-
sotted when they reached Cleveland.
am told that he finds it hard since then to
get back 10 his old meorings"
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

There's nothing selfish about C1
people. When a bakers family Id
smallpox the baker divided his ii 4
tween nursing the patients and wait|
the public. He was perfectly williI
others should have some of it.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

Tennyson's charge of the
Brigade" reads as if he wrote it
galloping over a plowed field ahea
bull who wanted to see him for q I
or two; hut most anything is poetr,
adays. Free Press.
Smyrna times., 1882-04-05

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The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-06-22
Low Heads for Fruit Trees.

Some writer, no matter who, gives the follow
ing recommendation for the shape of fruit trees.
They are commended to all who raise such trees.
Ii is said to be much better to grow fruit trees
with their heads and branches near the ground,
than to have them branching overhead, for va
rious reasons.
LIST. The sun, which is, perhaps in our hot
and dry summers, the cause of more disease and
destruction in fruit trees than all other diseases
together, is kept from almost literally scaldIng
the sap, as il does in long naked trunks and
limbs. The limbs and leaves of a tree shOnld al
ways effectually shade the trunk and keep it
cool. The leaves only should have plenty of
sun and light; they can bear and profit by it. If
trees were suffered to branch out low, say one or
two feet from the ground, we should hear much
less of 'fireblight" frozen sap blights," black
spots, and the like.
ID. The ground is looser, moister, and cooler,
under low branching tree than under a high
one. Grass and weeds do not grow a hundredth
part rank and readily, and mulching becomes
necessary.
Sd. The wind has not half the power to rack
and twist, and break the tree, and shake of the
fruit; a matter of no small consequence.
ith. The trees will be much longer lived, and
more prolific, beautiful and profitable.
5th. The trees are more easily rid of destruc-
tive insects, the fruit is much less damaged by
falling, and the facilities for gathering it are
much greater; there is less need of climbing, and
less of breaking limbs.
9th. The trees require less pruning, scraping
and washing, and the roots are protected from
the pillow, which is too often made to tear and mu-
tilate them.
These seem to be indisputable facts, sufficient
10 silence all objections. An apple or cherry
low, near the ground, especially near the south
west side
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-06-22
MY TRUNpLE-BEp.

As runmaged through the attic, listening to the falling
rain,
battered the shingles and against the window
Peepng DER the chest and boxes, which with dust
tbckly spread,
Saw in the athest what my trundle bed
So drew from the where il had remained long
Hearing all the while the music Of mothers voice In song
As she in sweetest accents what since have often
read:
Hush my dear lie still and .umber, holy angel. guard
thy bed"
As listened recolectons that thought had been forgot
Came with all the gush Of memory rushing throngng to
the spot;
And wandered back childhood to those merry days Of
yore,
When knet beside my mother by this bed upon the
Then WA with hands no gently placed upon my infant
That she taught my lips utter carefully the words she
Never have they been forgotten deep they In nsny
rven:
"H.lOved Be Thy name oh, Father! Father. Thou who
This she taught then she told of its import great
After which 1iearned to utter: Now lay me down to
sleep"
Then 1t wa. with hands uped and in son and
mild,
That my mother ssed our Father: Father do thou bless
my child"
cred meath the sod,
And trust her santed spirit revels In the home Of God
But that a, Summer twilight never has from msmry
And it in all its freshness when my trundls