The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-15
ARTEMCS WARD.


theatrical matters, when it was proposed to
bring out the passion Play" at hrs theater
turned to the stage manager and asked
But see here-hOw many characters will
there be! want T.. know"
"Well sir, therell be our Lord, you know,
and Caiaphas the high priest, and NicOdemus,
and Pontus Plate and twelve disciples"
Twelve! twelve disciples. On my STACEY
III have forty of 'em!'
| OF ccGrse when manager is reckless
enough to think OF amending the evangelists
IN the wholesale way to suit the dimensions of
his stage granting that he knew, which was
doubtful the actual number of the disciples),
he would not be likely to respect any authors
manuscript or his ideas, And, indeed, few
managers ever think of dong any such thing.
! Their standing order in regard to plays is
Cut! cut! cut" and a Philadelphia manager
who enjoys the fame OF reducing speed the
Flow to Il single act, use TO carry this prac-
SO far that a member Of his company once said
of him: &C. would cut the Lords prayer
down to single sentence" The manager
spoken of above Is rather notorious for his
slips of the tongue. He Is very much afraid
of the water, and coming from New York to
Boston one stormy night on Sound steamer,
he is reported to have exclaimed, as he leaped
ashore as soon rs the boat reached her pier
"1hank heavens! ] am on vice versa once
more"
The late Artemus Yard Charles F. Browne)
knew what he was about when he cOurted the
company of actors and journalists so assidu-
Ously. He took from them much more than
he gave, good companion as he was, and it
was the actors who Taught him to give express
sion to his irresistible flow of spirits in sue
cesslon Of practical Jokes of harmless sort,
yet comical beyond measure by their very
lNIl y tod AZ
come in here!" said he one day in Boston to
the companion walking with him. "Come in
here; we will have some fun 1t was a
Boston pie,bakery which they entered-a place
where pies were specially pies and
nothing but pies were sold wholesale and
retail the lve,loDg day. Brown approached
the counter, behind which the proprietor of
the establishment was standing, AMI asked in
his bland, insinuating voice. Have you any
ples?' Pies" replied the astoundcd propri,
etor. Eyes ples.'' "l'les" repeated the man,
still more dumbfounded. "Of course pies
Have you any-piesy' "Pies!" gasped the
shopman once more, gazing at Browne as If
he thought him an escaped lunatic. ooh,
we'll If you haven't got any pies, III inquire
somewhere else. Come, Jack?" and lie
marched his friend out of the shop again
before the salesman could recover his wits
Artemus delighted to flip the sedate re.
spectabllity Of Boston, while loving the place
sincerely. One 'tlay in the early afternoon,
having lecture to deliver that evening, some
of his friends concluded that he would not be
able to talk 80 well at night If he kept on
talking IN froat of the bar at the Parker house.
They accordingly insisted on an immediate
Adjournment, and Artemus, suspectng the
game, determined to revenge himself. He
locked arms with two gentlemen, very well
known, indeed, in the city-one a manager of
a leading theater, the other a public officer,
high IN the confidence and books of the com
monwealth, and walked off with them along
the city's most fashionable and crowded
thoroughfaue- Acting as if he was in
the custody and needed the care of
his companions, and making his voice con
splcu0usly load, Artemus began: Gentlemen,
you are probably aware that the noble red
man, the Incompatible savage of our plains,
forests and mountain Businesses, whom have
studied in his native wilds, has various modes
Of expressing the emotions which swell HIS
generous bosom, and Of giving voice to the
ceremonial traditions inherited from an in-
memorial ancestry. His cries and his dances
are equally peculiar, and he has a particular
sort of whoop for each particular occasion.
The scalp dance, the war dance, the bear
dance, the dance of skulls, each has its appro'
PIRATE halloo and so has the feast of the moon
the harvest feast and SO forth. But no verbal
description, gentlemen, can give you an idea
OF these various cries. They must be heard
to be appreciated and to HIM who has never
heard them they are startling as the revea-
tons of a feline. In illustration of what
have sad. gentlemen, will now proceed TO
give yOa an imitation of the yell of the noble
savage as, tOmah2wk In hand, he springs en-
ultant from his ambush upon the astOundcd
foe"
ThereUpon Browne executed a startling and
tremendous war WbOop, which made people
turn for blocks around, and drew upon him
the attention of thousands.
VI will now give you said ArIemus, after
rcgaining his breath "a faint imitation of The
warriors cry HIS he returns to his wigwam, the
scalp of his slam eEemy dangling IN CORY
ghastlness at his belt -
Another r.whoop; and thus the ssamp
kept up his game Tor e mile or so, until his
friends got him at last 70 his hotel.
1t was in 1862 that The Dukes Motto" was
first played in New York 1t had been i'm.
ported-the English trans latiOn-by an Irish
actor, Mcdonnell, who intended playing
Lagardere. William Wheatley, however, who
brought 1t out took the paH. OF Lagardere him
self, casting Mcdonnell as Carricktergus,
While the piece was being played the draft
riots broke out and business Sell of to almost
h'th'HE' W hC'i't NiuttNl ~ tlpSC tLc h'usti
but his contract forbade it, so he fe.l sick con
venIently, and McDonneli's mbitlon was sat
lstied, he playing Lagardere and Doyle
another of the company acting CarricklcrgHs
They played, however to less than would pay
for gas bills, and at last Wheatley locked the
house up in absolute disgust. OLD Man Sauls
bury, a quaint muslciaE and BHlon, was in
the orchestra at the time. Someone SAID To /
HIM. WHY, salisbury, | see your house Is
closed. What's the natter" well, you
see" he replied, slowly, Mcdonnell, he
undertook to play Lagardere, and Doyle, lac
Undertook to play Carricktergus, and the two
undertakers have buried the piece"
Indeed, almost all actors who are really .
welded to their profession, unconsciously /
learn To think their life upon the boards ihe
rnal and oil uls nrln nnnntnrEDit ~