Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-05-14
ATMOSPHERIC INFLUENCES.

Written for the Sunday Appeal
Let me premise that the caption of this
article is not intended TO mislead any one
into thinking they are about to be treated to
hygienic disquisition upon the effects of
dephlogisticsted and heterogeneous air. COM
bining to form that assemblage of uniform
vapors, upon the inhalation of which de-
ponds the continuance of our vitality There
nowl
/ am rather proud of that paragraph. 1t
sounds az if it meant something, which, you
know, is after all, almost as good as mean
ing >nething. No; I've simply been led to
tn < Of atmospheric influences as they effect
ei'i one CO Gs morally and socially; we are
all Of US more or less mere creatures Of our
surroundings.
My shopping completed this morning, /
stood idly for few moments on the theshold
Of book store, watching the busy, busting
stream of humanity surging ceaselessly up
and down the broad street. Every now and
then familiar face would lash across my
Ie:iua, passing as rapidly as the changes
of the kaleidoscope, but before my
spasmodic effort to obtain recognition
could avail aught, the face had van
ishe1 like the baseless fabric of dream.
Hurry-scurry, pell nell they passed me,
young men and old men, young women and
old woman; the one as fast as the other, all
rushing msdly to arrive at-no place, to ac-
complish nothing! / was irresistibly drawn
into the vortex, and was only reminded that
], too, had joined in the mad race, by famil-
lar voice at my elbow asking, "Where so
fast?" Nowhere at all; only the effects of
atmospheric influences" ! make sententious
>, psWer. My lady of the robes tells me
that undergrown umbrella is the thing;
that the pretty, tiny sun-shade that used
to shield a woman's head and face
from the suns glare and heat is no longer
en- reyte l object first on purely unselfsh
philanthropicsl grounds. l contend that
the rest of the world has as much right to
the sidewalk as / have; that it is q species
OF monopoly that should not be endured for
women to spread their huge but gorgeous
umbrellas all over the walks, leaving the
less fortunate sex to dodge them as best they
may, cengratulatlng themselves on every
successful running of the gauntlet. But
Fashion contends that she has right 10 run
her chariot-wheels where she pleases, and
prod mankind in the head, eyes or nose with
the points OF million big sunshades if she |
chooses. So I-all owing to atmospheric |
influences, please remember-grown accus- |
toned to the heartless practice, issue as |
boldly forth with my annihilator, and prod |
accomplishing pedestrians in the eyes with |
my undergrown umbrella as complacently as |
the Oldest stagers of them all.
Stopping at a candy-stand, I observed |
some curious little square packages, done up |
ever 30 neatly, labeled ever so curiously. As |
] stood there trying to decide between the |
respective merits OF chocolate caramels or |
pindar candy, group OF half dozen ju- |
veniles paused; each one of the group pur-
chased one of the mysterious little packages;
each one of them moved on with wildly |
working jaws. "What is it?" l asked, with |
countrifed curiosity. Chewing-gum, they |
told me, and then they kindly explained 10 |
me how it was prepared; what variety of /
brands already obtained; how it tasted. In |
short, proved it to be nice and lady-like
substitute for mankind's vie "quid." Then |
i understood that queer twitchiDg aud work.
ing of the jaws (feminine) that had SO mys-
titled me before. "Try it" one said. Try it
did influenced by atmospheric surround /
ings). Tried it, unIuckily, just was
about to state my needs to po-
lite and patient clerk in dry
goods store. Tried it and found
my jaws helplessly locked together. Pried
them apart. and brought about long and
painful separation betwixt them; appealed
mutely to the clerk for patience and 10 my
companions for advice. The clerk looked |
like polite craven image; my companions
cheered me with the information that cit
would sjften presently" IL softened and
articulation once more became possible. l |
swallowed my cud, not knowing how else to
dispose of il and my business simultane-
ously. Looked with envious awe at the null
titude of jaws working easily and skillfully
around me, and wondered il, through the be-
nigu Influences of association, l should ever
attain unto like excellence.
~ ----7------errs r.ssl.ias tide
1 hailed one OF tue peot>l-,s-narriages and |
started for my clearinghouse. As our poor
beast OF burden toiled psinfully and slowly |
along train of half DE- n carriages
dashed rapidly by Us, the dainty apparel
and Joyous faces OF the occupants denotiUg |
a bridal party. Hardly a block behind a
sly lish-lookiug heaTse hove in sight. IL, too,
ratified by scarcely whit lees merrily than
the bsidal cortege. "Such is lifel" exclaimed
a lugubrious individual by my side. From
the altar TO the grave, scarce a stepw "At
mespheric influences will render you indif
ferent TO these violent contrasts soon," / say
TO him encouragingly. But the old man
looked at me very much as one might look |
upon grub but recently turned, by stmos-
pheric influences, into a butterfly, and re-
GREETED the wisdom had thrown away upon
him. MOTHER GOOSE