South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-05-12
WIT AND HUsross.
"A Young lady who was graduate

This was his speeca Scholars, hope
you will always love your school aud
your teacher as much as do Tableau
--gigglin2 boys and blushing school
ina'am.
You doctors says lady 10 a
prince Of science, have one thing to be
thankful for-you are never siok.' Still
we die %, but that ia because when
you have dangerous illoess you call in
another doctor.
"A mau who detected piece of
bark in his sausage. visited The butcher
shop to know what had become of the
rest Of the dog. The butche, was so
affected that he could give him only
part or the tale.
II like to hear baby cry said
crusty old bachelor.
why 2 lie was asked.
Because then the little nuisance is
taken cut OF the room
"A young lady. speaking of herself
as a part OF speech, Gays that she's the
frs. person singular present indicative
OF the verb to receive.
Why did you not send for me
sooner p asked doctor of patient.
Well. you ee,doctor, couldn't make
up my mind TO do any thing desperate
The OTHER HoRN.-'Mister,' began
4 small boy, as he entered Woodward
avenue grocery yesterday, ina bought
some mackerel here last night
Yes
Aud in making change you gave
her
no, l didn't haven't had quar-
ter With d whole in ii for month y
But ma Says you gave her -
Don't believe it-don't believe it! !
remember now gave her half dol
lar, quarter and nickle.
Ma says you gave her a gold piece
= for d penny, aud here IL is,'
Good gracious alive! bnt so | did
30 / did ! remember now tha. gave
her dollar bill and lot OF small
change. Bub what's your name, and
do you thiuk you can eat thee sticks of
lemon candy 40 it does mo good to
end honesty and reward itr-Detroit
Free Press.
OUTRAGED BY 4 PoLICENAN.-Sau
oil Joansing was up again yesterday.
What brings you here this time Ask 8.
cd the Recorder. de p'iiceman, sab !;
&c same one wba. bring mo head de
last time ! mean what did YOU do 2
Il Vas jess passin grocery store when
struck my head agin . ham what was
hanging by de dote. tuck de ham
down TO put it somew hares whnr it would
lie safG from folks bGstin their brains
cat agin it, when de fust kuoged .
piiceman tried TO get the ham away
from me, and bekase wouldn't let de
Lam 80 he jus brung me along too
The following anecdote about the
famous jurist Story is 10 private circu.
lauon, but is good enough for the pub
JIG eye. 1t was prepared for Story's
biography by lis son, bat Charles Suu.
IGeE, who edited the work. struck il out.
The narrative runs Ike this: Ia his
younger days Story lived ia tho aristo.
cratic Old tom OF Salem, in Masss cha
sets. Biz grca. ability was not then
tempered by as much wisdom as he at
tegwaCd displayed, and be was looked
upon With djsiavor bv some Of The old
families. one day Mrs. A. called upon
Mrs. u and 10 The course or their con-
yersation-there being scamstress
present Mrs. a. asked Mrs. T. ir her
daughter was going 10 the party that
evening. No, was tue short reply y
don't propose 10 let my daughter 90 20
any place which is freguented by tha,
,nsigniacent young puppy story. Years
aisorwarl, when story was Judge on
the Supreme Bench, he visited Salem,
and was warmly welcomed By those
WHO lad known him formerly. Among
his best friends apparently was Mrs D.,
e1d Ac accepted Der pressing invitation
q ainuer Now ~ he yeats which had
oiap,ed, the seamairess had become
pOsssssU- 81 ioue Cf her own 10
which vas a..acbsd a garden. with
pear',rce, Which was ast then loaded
viii foe lrlit Afler Tie invitation 20
OianeT Lad been accepted, Tue seam
stress received q .,i, from Irs. B.'s scr.
Naui asking Ter q send 80 n basket Of
hef excellent peers Tor dinner. as Nj.
Justice story Of Tie Supreme Court Of
tue United States, was to be present.
The good-naturcd stamstress sent ,hc
pears at once, and with them this racs.