The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1882-11-30
CLASSROOM Ouips.

'lliaUlonS IN form are reported in the
coileSe papers year after wear, but in
substance it never looses its tvpical
identify There is hardly hackman or
narheeper IN the country who can not
thoroughly appreciate it. and Jumbo.
were he privileged to frequent the class
rooms, would frisk and gambol under
the inspiration of it with solidlv svmpa-
thetlc glee. Observation-Disclosures of the
metropolis, for instance, ever made q
more striking retort than the Prineetown
professor who remarked to the uproari-
GUS youth before him: Gentlemen, this
class would proceed better if there were
more use of the head and less of the
feet." AT the same college also this ad
vice was officially given to those who were
appointed to speak upon the chapel
stage: Take a subject with which YOU
are perfectly familiar. I suggest, that
some OF you steer clear of moral and re-
ilgtous subjects. A student of Columbia.
belonging in West Virginia, was asked:
''Wh hat minerals have been found in that
StateP' He replied; Copper, platinum,
gold and lead" and was rewarded by
the professional remark: ''No, sir, no, sir,
not one OF them; nothing but brass comes
from West Virginia" Likewise at Ra-
cine College, when student inquired,
,'What is our age?' of professor who
had been saying, Among these we may
mention the wood, the stone and the iron
age the speaker pleasantly continued:
Judging by the class now before me
one would say it was the age of brass
10 this may be added another profess
serial retort: $50 you've forgotten that
fact, have you2 Why, you're the only
man that ever knew it to forget
"Ilssue, sir, is something which is ex-
ceedingly thin,'' was the definition which
Junior of Bowdoin gave to his instruct
or. who retorted: The same might be
said of your answer The question:
What do you know about absolute
zero9' having brought no response, the
interrogation added, in whitening man
ner: You wouldn't like to get one of
them on your seore-book, would you9''
A professor at Brown, apparently aiming
to give proper idea of etiquette to "the
owner of apair of feet lying before his
desk" asked: "Whose feet are these2''
"Mlne. sir.' responded student in the
rear OF the room. ''Haul them home. |
then," continued the modern Chester
heid, and the feet were accordingly
'coiled around the adjacent benches. . |
A student of Wesleyan, impleadins a
''slck excuse" asked insinuatinely WHY |
his colds always went to his head. and |
was told; ''Itis well-known principle, |
'lr' that eoldis most likely to settle in |
The weakest part A student at Yale,
who answered the question. .'How is
power applied to this machine?n by
saying ''it is turned by crank" was
to lust step forward and Illus
rate. - A student in biology at Mad
son, having obeyed the request to 'sex-
pose the brain of this frog and make a
sketch of it, was rewarded by the COM
nent: 1.-The only thing remarkable
lbout that drawing is the lack of brains
Exhibited Elsewhere the metaphysical
question, 'Is life worth living, Profess
or?' brought the response: ..That de-
,ends 1i, upon the liver" A sophomore of
Villains who said: 1.-The army was
lrawn up in the shape of plow," was
old, SO, no; rather in that of a harrow.
(ou need little instruction in an agri-
ultural college" The next awful ex-
mple is derived from Wesleyan: Pro-
do you know about
berration of light?'' Student-.I am
otsure l know that, but think have
faint idea Professor-''What do
ou imagine it is?'' Student-.When
ne light strikes the obiect-glass , it
lances off, Professor-s.What can
on tell about the moons parallaxPn
you mean about the mi
rometer and the heliometer, / can tell
ou about that" Professor-"Yes, and ;
D you might tell me about political
One would be as much to the
oint as the other. The only connection
etween the heliometer ID the moons
arallax is that both are in astronomy. :
hat is sufficient u. -
Professional insolence of course always ,
as undergraduate impudence for an ac- :
and it is only fair to pre- :
mt some recent specimens of the latter. J
ERE is ''scene in a recitation-room at !
olumbia- Bell has just rung and the
ass becomes impatient to leave. Pre- }
'ssor says: Now, gentlemen, | have a r
lortgage on you for few minutes yet q
H. H. And, sir. YOU don't get much !
terest from us either'n Similar was
le case when the Professor, looking at !
s watch, about the close OF +Le recta- /
On hour, said: LAS we have few min q
es left, | should like to have anv one
k question, if so disposed =" Then :
e bad boy of the class improved the oc- :
sion by inquiring: g What time is it, n
ease9" At Racine College, when
udent of great impudence was talking
'ainst time to conceal his ignorance of
9 question, the irate instructor ex- c
aimed: "Sit down, sir. you know s.
thing whatever of the subiect.''~ The 81
Ident replied: All right If you il
low more about this thing than I do, I
st show me where. I'm wrong" With il
is may be compared a conversation at d
de, which was begun by an instructor d
10 was examining some work on the Il
ckboard: Il don't quite understand n
ur figures, Mr.. X.' Very well, I'll Sc
plain them to you after recitation .
Sewhere, when student was explain .
: a proposition, illustrated by a circle II
had drawn on the blackboard, there L
IS another similar Interchange: "Isn't in
1t reasoning erroneous?' :. Perhaps 81