Connecticut western news., 1882-06-07
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Shaking Hands With a Stranger
 General Notes.
From the Detroit Free Press. l

upon the members, "I doan' keer two cents wheeler his great gran ,fader was a Cabinet officer or cobbIer; wheeler his own gran -fader sold silks or kaliker; wheeler bis fader was 8 cooper or 8 statesman. De man have to deal wid am de man befo' me, an not de dust an bones, an cofins of his predecessors. He may size up we'll, or he may run to remnants; he may be squar' or he may be bilk; be may be honest, or he may have de right-bower up his sleeve-dat am fur me to find out.
 'I doan' propose to jine hands wid 8 stranger bekase his gran fader cum ober wid de Pilgrims. Neither shall I lend five dollars to one O my color on de ] ground dat his uncle weighed ton, an shook hands wid three different Presi- dents. What a man he am, an wheeler his fader was poet or blacksmith won't make him better or wuss. Size up your man on his own personal shape. It doan' matter to you what sort of 8 head his fader had, or how big his un- cle's feet war, he am de man you am doin' bizness wud. De pusson who trabels from dis kentry on nothing but de record made by some relative half 0 century since will land in jail as soon as in good society. When have any plug tobacker to spare de man who's fader didn't do anything but mind his own bizness an purvide fur his family will get it quite as soon as de man who's fader diskivered a comet or predicted an airthquake.
 II want each an ebery member of dis club to stan on his own shape. If he am fast-colors dat's all we want to krow. If he crooks or fades in de washin' he must step down an out. De fact that Samuel's Shin's fader was elected to the South Carolina Legislatur' doan' prove that Samuel hisself knows beans from hoss-barns. Likewise, de fact that Giveadam Jones had an uncle hung for stealth con doan' go to prove dat 1t wouldn't be safe to leave our brudder in a grocery sto' fur half an hour while the clerk went out arter change. When a man boasts dat one of de family signed de Declarashun of Independence, doan' you take his note widout good indorser. People who lay back on nothing but de glory of de dead or de statesmanship of some one who sat in Congress hun'erd y'ars ago am jist as apt to work off bogus dollar on 8 sore-eyed railroad conductor as de man whose geological tree has g baker hangin' to ebery limb."
 SIMPLY ILLUSTRATIVE.
 Giveadam Jones was on his feet be- fore the President had ceased speaking, and he demanded to know if the remark in regard to his absent minded uncle was personal fling at him. Samuel Shin likewise desired to know if the President intended to hold his lack o1 education up to the contempt of the world at large. Brother Gardner re- piled that he used them simply to illus. trate points, and but for slip of the tongue he should have had the uncle steal the whole outfit of national bank, instead of three bushels of corn.
 HE DOES.
 Cottonseed White, of Glenrose, Tex. in communicatio ion of scientific na turo, addressed to the President, asked as follows |:
 "Did you know that knowledge could only be obtained by experience, ant that experience is but another name fol suffering2
 'sThat about the time we grow wis' ) enough to live we must fail and die? "That the most meritorious actions are often followed by the must dis
 astrous consequences.
 "That this universe is governed b, passionless, purposeless, inexorable eternal law P
 "I know all about it." replied tn President with sad shake of the head "Ive bin dar. My fust knowledg , about a mule was gained by pickin' u one of his hind feet. have in my kind ness of heart lent my shotgun to ; friend to shoot crow, an bin obleege to pay $15 for de calf he killed. I hay not only obsarved dat de universe al
 governed by passionless, puposless, ii exorable an eternal laws, but have dis , kivered dat de man who goes fshin' o Sunday mus buck agin de hull biznes' It am sad, sad, an yet we mus brace u an keep turnin' de grindstone. :, :, ENCOURAGING GENIUS. h The Rev. Penstock, who has just r, A turned from his Southern trip, took tt a floor in the interests of genius. 4 !, Montgomery, Ala, colored brothe
 Mozart Pinkston, invited him to inspe
 an invention called "The Handy All
 viator." It is machine which will el
 able any and every man to scratch h itching spinal column between h e shoulders, and wherever it has bee l. tried 1t has given the most intense sa isfaction. Before this invention can u into use in Alabama the colored peep .s of that State had to scratch their bacl # # on tLe edges of doors and gates a1 of fence rails. They can now sit down IS red splint- t-bottomed chair in the sha, a. of magnolia and tickle the itchi1 Ill locality with the greatest dispatch al n,r n ease.
 = The Rev. Penstock hoped the cl, d, would encourage such genius. In fae al he would move that the inventor ,n given vote of thanks, and be permit nf to refer all would-be purchasers of l x machine to the officials of the Lime-Ki