Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1882-07-01
TOO AWFULLY ALL But.

HOW A CULTURED YOUNG DAMsEL ASTON
IsuED nER PARENTS.
A few months ago, the daughter OF
an East. Lockport man who has grown
comfortably well off in the small grocery
line; was sent away to "female col
lege,' and recently she arrived home
for holiday vacation. The old man
was in attendance at the depot when
the train arrived, with the old horse
in the delivery wagon to convey his
daughter and her trunk to the house.
When the train stopped bewitchlng
array of dry goods and wide brimmed
hat dashed from the car and flung Itself
into the elderly partys arms.
"Why, you superlative pal she ex-
claimed, "I'm ever SO utterly glad to
see you.
The old man was somewhat unnerved
by the greeting, but he recognized the
sealskin cloak in his grip as the idcnti-
cal piece of property he had paid for
with the bay mare, and he sort OF squat
it mp in his arms and planted kiss
where it would do the most good with
a report that sounded above the noise
OF the depot. In brief space of time
the trunk and the attendant baggage
were loaded into the wagon, which was
soon humping over the bubbles towards
home.
PA, DEAR" said the young Miss, sur
yeying the team with critical eye, "do
YOU consider this quite excessively be
yond!'
"Hey," returned the old man, with a
puzzled air, "qulte excessively beyond
whatl"
"Ob, no, pa, you don't understand
me, the daughter exclaimed. 81 mean
this wagon and horse. Do you think
they are solefull-do you think they
could be studied apart in the light Of
symphony or even simple poem he,
aud appear as intensely utter 10 one re-
turning home az one could EXPRESS"
The old man twisted uneasily on his
seat and muttered something about be
believed it used TO be used for an express
before he bought it, 20 deliver pork in,
but the conversation seemed to be trav-
cling in such lonesome direction that
he pitched the old horse resouDdiDg
crack on the rotuDda, and the severe
ioiting over the frozen ground prevent
ed fur,her remarks.
"Oh. there is that lovely and con
sumate ma" screamed the returned col
legialress, as they drew up at the door
and presently she was lost in the en-
brace OF a motherly woman in specta
cles
"Well Mariar," said the old man at
the supper table, as he nipped piece
Of butter of with bis own knife, san
how'd you like your SCHOOL,
"Well, there, pa, now you're shou-
mean, consider it far too beyond,
replied the daughter. 1t is ungueDch-
ably unefable. The girls are so sumpt-
nously stunning-I mean grand-so
intense. Aud the parties, the balls,
the rides,-oh, the past weeks have
been one sublime harmony"
81 s'pose SO" neryously assented the
old man, as be reached for bis third
cup, "haIf full-but how about your
books-readin, writin, grammar, rule
of three, how about them''
"Pa, don'L" exclaimed the daughter
reproachfnlly; 'the rule Of tbreel gram
mar! 1t is French and music and
painting and the deyiDe in art that
have made my school life the bos-I
mean that have rendered it one urbro-
ken flow of rythmic bliss-incompar-
ably and exquisitely all but"
The grocery man and his wife looked
helplessly at each other across the ia
bic. After long pause the old lady
said:
How do you like the biscuits,
Mariar,"
''They are too utter for anything,
2ushed the accomplished young lady,
''aDd this plum preserve is simply a
poem in ITSELF
The old man rose abruptly from the
table and went out of the room, rub
bing his head In dazed and benumbcd