Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1882-04-08
WyrrISCIsSoRS.

HlIIfNCfSSO.sS'
I stood on the perch at evening, -
When the sun went silently down,
And the June bpg bIi-lit in the starry nignt
Flew merrily through the town
Oh, sweet were the gentle zephyr
That blew from the balmy south,
And red were the lips and sweet the spe
That took nom the pretty mouth
Her tiny waist was encrcled
By my arm so strong and true,
Said l. Whose ducky are YOU, loyc2'
Yours" she murmured, and whose are
y0u?'
Oh. the llallowcd hours of that evening"
Oh, the cruel caprice Of Fate
Her father, uukind. came up from behind,
And flied me over the gate.
After man came woman, and she has been
after him ever silce
my wife won't even hear Of my going
to Che theatre with another lady" said Gal
lagher. Ragbag didn't seem to construe
Gallaghcr's remarks Alright, for he said
won't ch? Don't YOU be too sure Of i'll
I thought ny wife wouldn't, but she did,
and | had fearful time Of it"
Here is an cpitaph copied from the tomb
stone Of an Ohio woman:
~ MEMoRI,N
Ncuralria worked ON Mrs Jones,
TIL finally death had laid her
She was a worthy Methodist.
Aud served rs a crusader.
Her obscqucs will be two,
With plenty Of cool carriagc-
Death is the common lot " all,
And comes as eft rs marriage
Sundav-schonl teacher about TO comment
on ST. Paul's direction for conduct ofmcn
and women during divine service "Now,
Do YOU know why women DO not take OF
their bonnets in church2' Small boy "Co'
they amt got looking glasses to put en- on
again by"
\ school-teacher asked, "What bird ia
large enough to carry oil mp Nobody
knew. but one little girl suggested "a lark"
And then she csplsincd Mamma said papa
wouldn't be home until Monday, because he
had gone of on lark"
This is a Contribution Plate Ithas jus}
been Handed around. What is there upon
it? Now Count very SLOW, or you will make
a Mistake. Four Buttons, on, Nickel, abluo
Chip. and one spectacle glass Yes, that IS
Right. What will be done with oil these
Nice things? They will he be acnt to For
eirn Countries for the good Of the Poor lIea-
tacns. How the Poor Heathens will Re
jjice
Mr. Lois Harrison, actor, writes Us: at
Providence. when made ny first appear
ance ON the stage, young lady rose nom
her seat and exclaimed Father yon arc
rich. Can money procure anything? Tho
father replied: 4 gu,-s 90 Then buy mo
him. she cried, pointing st me. You can
imagine Low felt" No, We can't imagine
how you ielt, sir. We never were bought,
though wc have been sold occasionally.
City belle meeting country Amt --'On,
I'm 50 glad to see YOU Come and see us
nextwoek, DO, fer m going TO Lave Ger
man on Thursday" Aunt with severity
"Not. !. child. don't want to sec any ono
the family that's going to make fool Of
hcrsclfby marrying foreigner
A hen is a most inconsidcratc and unac-
couatablc creature. Now that she eau Icy
eggs worrh three cents apiccc, she takes a
vacation and refuses to have anything at all
to DO with business By-and-ty when
chicken seed are down TO fifteen cents doz-
en-, ,hc will put on extra help, ard even work
NIGHTS to food Lemarkot The hen isno
Fl ancier.
An Austin f,thcrrcbuked h-es3n for drink
ing at tie saloons.
Didn't you used to drink ut The saloons
when you were ofm, agef' asked The prom
ising young man.
@Ycs, but sIwtsc folly Of it, and gave it
rp7
"Well, how -r to see thefgliy oft, sol
can give it up. unless 60 theTe?'
Vifdict for thc junior member ofthcfrm,
and DO appeal.
An Ohio naturalist claims to hayed'scov-
cred tha, "Crow. rs ZIG zay, and not, a. has
been generally believed, I'M straight line"
o well may be they DO fly zig zag in Ohio.
II depends good deal on the condition Of
the man Who j. looking At them. Now, in
Texas they Gy around, and round and round;
IN Mississippi they can't dy 4 rod after 4 o.
clock IN the ,hernooD; while in Iowa and
Kansas they ay ., -traich, a, chalk-linc
any hour bet.een Il and r.
II the VALLEY Of tie Shenandoah they do
no: in these pii in time, Of peace, need to
c.rry their rations with them.
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She FOryof she trIg HITPfrd