Daily globe., 1882-09-19

Who wants the peoples votes and prais b,
Ts 1ezgthen his Official days,
But saght TO try to change his ways?
The Presiden&
OBITUARIES TO ORDER
Tie Death Editor Explains HSw Abilixy to
Accemsssgate AH Cusseesers.
"Good morning, sir" said pale, tiaded-
locking little woman, az she arippsi into
the room andtook q seat beside tlae city
edition II called for the purpose of hav-
ing an obituary written on the death of
one who was very dear to ma"
IF that Is the case, madam" !" re Piled the
city editor, II will have to refer u ~ to that
fair, smoeth4faced young man o'rer tasrei
with the blue and spirisHal ey ,. He .is
the death editor, and will take ,leasure I'M
serving you
The little woman crossed the roon and
the death editor politely inviteti her to he
seated.
'How mueh," she inquired, '1wiM you
charge me for writing an obituary."
''That depends entirely on the style of
the article you desire, and the age of the
subject" replied the death editor "sIf the
deceased is little girl, I can give you
something for 20 cents a line that will
glide along in this way: ''Little MAY;
beautiful, loving little May She was be-
loved by all, end Wac the idol OF her par
ents. Her tiny pattering feet brought
sunshine into the house, and her childish
laughter foated an the air iks the soft
music of silver bells. Alas! little
did her fend parents dream
they sat and watched little May chase
butter flies in the garden, that death would
soon claim her foathis own You see can
start it off in that way, and wind up by
describing how white and still she lay up
On the death -bed,sand how shs lifted up
her Little waxen hand and said, Mamma,
div 'Ittle May tum roses; wants dem to
do sleep wit me tonight That would be
& master stroke The roses and the deli
cate dialect of the child would cast po-
|sstic gloom and raise howl of woe from
here to the far Pacific slope. This kind of
work is my str0ng card, madam. How does
it suit your"
''It is very NICE" sighed the little woman,
''but l want an obituary written on my
uncle"
''Well, that can be accomplished equally
as easy. Now the proper way ito treat an
old subject like your uncle is to ring in
the aged oak business"
'"What's that, sir?"
SIN other words, madam, 10 describe
how for years he stood like "a weather
scaryod oak, majestic in his honesty, gen.
| eroslty and manly strength. / can also
| compare his family to vines clinging to
| the massive oak, and when the terrible
wO0dsman, Death, felled him to the ground
how they lay crushed and helpless with tho
burden of grief. This is little piece of
| rustic work which invariably excites COM
ment and garnishes with touch Of
beauty, as it were, the entire tos.t ensemble
Now, if your uncle was in the war-no
matter whether he was sutler sor mott
would be we'll to give him record. Let's
see .Ah III have it. I could cay
| 'sMidst kissing shot and bursting shell
Upon the stubborn foe he fell,
| And waved his banner high"
"But my uncle wasn't in the army" said
the lttewoman.
Swell, perhaps he was prominent oiti-
zen, large merchant or something of that
kind. and I can tune up by ,remarking:
"Alas, again we are called upon to chron-
ic@s the. death Of one who for the past forty
years, has been identified with the history
of New Orleans"
"But my uncle was not large mer-
| chant" saidtthe griefsstricksn female. HE
worked on boat"
He did, eh?" sighed the death editor.
'sWell, then, we will have to locate him as
|sOne of tho pioneers of 1924. Yonknow, in
writing an obituary, it is not absolutely
necessary toscOn6ne yourself strictly to
the text, Now Lean dash off something
for thirty cents a line that will produce a
universal wall las weird and hollow as a
jackass's nicker in an old saw mill. At
the end of the shituary j can round off
beautifully. The idea has just struck me.
For instance, I'll say, Lets draw aside the
curtain and gaze upon the once happy
fireside now made desolate by DEATH
Then will draw vivid picture of the
remaining memAars of the family, seated
about the room, with their heads bowed
in grief. On ahe hearth rug I will
have the house eats looking thoughtfuily
into the glowing embers. You see, the
great art in writing obituaries is to bring
In something that is natural as well as pic
turesque. What is more natural than
cat, comfortably er1sconsed on rug, look
ing into the fire. Take out the cat and you
mar the pisture. Put in the Sat, and i'm
mediately the scene is touched with nature.
This style of obituary is what we call the
gem. 1t is really worth forty cents line, |
but you can have it for thirty
"Will you promise to write it nicely for
NOR
"Yes, madam; when I get through with |
your uncle you may not recognize him, but |
you will feel proud of him."
The little woman paid the price of the |
obituary and was bowed out of tho room,
and the death editor, with inspiration in
his eye, and his mind fixed on tombstones,
settled quietly down to work.
The Nest Congress.
New Orleans Democrat
The press is engaged, just now, in max
ing estimates and calculations of the
constitution of the next congress.
Nearly all the papers agree as to
the probability of Democratic success.
Everything, they say, is favorable to it
the eff year when the opposition vote al
ways comes out strong, the new apportion-
ments, and the bolts within the Republi-