The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-12-07
Married People.

Gc OitlF hOSSlUtc SOCIGiS DGtN tt4l w
married people should be those which
are conided to either one of them by
Others. While some people, who cali
themselves worldly wise, win laugh at
the idea of such perfect confidence as
this implies, others still, especially the
newly married, who have but small
worldly experience, will be shocked that
i should suggest the keeping of any kind
of secret by either wife or husband from
the other. | am not prepared to say
that these last are not the wiser of the
two. Only, in that case, when any con-
fidence is proffered to either husband or
wife, the recipient of it should make his
or her position clearly understood.
Possibly there is a certain hardness
toward old friends in requiring them
either to dispense with the sympathy
we have been wont to give them. orelse
to submit their weaknesses and trials to
the cold judgment, the cynical conside-
ration of q man or a woman who has
for them no tender liberation born of
loving intimacy. Yet it would be bet
ter to refuse ever to listen to another
confidence while the world stands than
to receive secret to keep when its Gus
tody would be wound TO one whose
happiness should be our first object
Some wives and some husbands are
large-minded enough and free enough
from jealousy not to be troubled by the
knowledge that a confidence has been
bestowed in which they cannot share,
and then there can be no harm in such
a confidence.
Int nN al @tlr l.
to one only of the two people of whom
love and law have made one flesh. The
very ideal of marriage had been realized
by that old Judge, who had knelt for so
many years to say last prayer at night
beside his wife, and when at last she had
left him, his lips were dumb and with
out her he could not even open his heart
to God.
One frequent cause of trouble in mar
ried life is want of openness in busi-
ness matters. A husband marries a
pretty, thoughtless girl, who has been
used to taking no more thought as to
how she should be clothed than the lilies
OF the field. He begins by not liking to
refuse any of her requests. He will not
hint, so long as he can help it, at care in
sociate himself in her mind with disap-
pointments and self-denial. And she,
who would have been willing enough,
in the sweet eagerness to please of her
girlish love, to give up any whims or
fancies Of her own whatever. falls into
habits of careless extravaganza, and
feels herself injured when, at last re-
monstrance comes. How much wiser
would have been perfect openness in the
beginning.
eve have ust so much money to
spend this summer. Now, shall we ar
range matters thus or thus?' was a
question | heard very young husband
ask his still younger bride not long ago:
and all the wOmanhood in her answered
to this demand upon it, and her help at
planning and counselng proved not a
thing to be dcspised, though hitherto she
had ''fed upon the roses and lain among
the lilies OF life. ;" / am not speaking of
marriages that are no marriages -Yyhere
Venus has welded Vulcan-because
Vulcan prospered at his foroe-but
marriages where two true hearts have
set out together, for loves sake, TO learn
the lessons of life and live together till
death shall part them. And one of the
first lessons for them to learn is to trust
each other entirely. The most frivolous
girl OF all ''the rosebud garden of girls"
i. she truly loves, acquires something of
womanliness from her love, and is ready
TO plan and help make her small sacri-
fees for the general good. Try her,
and you viii see.
But if you fail to tell her just how
much you have, and Just what portion
of it can be properly spent. and what
portion should be saved for the nest-egg,
IN which her interest is not less than
your own, then you cannot Justly blame
her if she is careless and self-indulgent,
and wishes to-day to want tomorrow.
There are thousands of little courte-
sizes, also, that should not be lost sight
of in the cruel candor of marriage The
secret of great social success is to
wound no ones self-love. The same
secret will 90 far toward making mar
riage happy. Many woman who
would considerit an objectionable rude
ness not to listen with an air of interest
to what mere acquaintance is saying,
will have no least scruple in showing
her husband that his talk wearies her.
Of course, the best thing is when talk
does not weary-when two people are
so unified in taste that whatever inter-
ests the one is of equal interest to the
other, but this cannot always be the
case, even in happy marriage; and is
it not better worth while to take the
small trouble of paying courteous at
tention to the one who depends on you
for his daily happiness than even to be-
stow this courtesy on the acquaintance,
whom it is a transient pleasure to
pleaseP-Louise Chandler MouIton, IN
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