The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-07-30
WIT AND HUMOR.

On the question Of the next potato
crop the eyes have it. On the question
Of the crop the nose will have it.
A mattcr-of-fact boy defined salt as
that stuff which makes potatoes taste
bad when you don't put any on.
There ought TO be great many red
ears in the corn crop this season, it has
been talked about 50 much.
The question Of the hour: Which shall
we do, stop eating meat or postpone our
trip to Europe'
Never kick poor, friendless tramp
away from the door Tell a policeman
to do it
It's conquer or die with the good
doctor bu, the patient is expected to do
the dying.
Away. look On the right side;
mighty ugly hir"d girl can ring the bell
Tor mighty good dinner.
a ,aloou-}e .r Pea. invented a drink
which be call, -" he'll punch because
it make, hole, : bee pockets Of his pa
irons
III, c,mr',,l lha, some Of the beef
now sold j. iupIama'ad with garlic. --
They have 10 strengthen 1t SO it can
bold mp the price.
Eve did not experience any Of the
toriures endured by the modern ladies
of fashion, and yet, ike the latter, she
had nothing to wear
a babe SAYS q writer, lis a moth
er's anchor" We have often heard
that the first thing she does is TO weigh
il.
Rev Mr.. Lyon, Of Bridgeport, preach
ed sunday night on the national sin
There was universal exchange Of UNI
brellas the next morning
In view of the results of the Arctic
exploration, we are forced to believe
that the North Pole is one Of those
things that no fellow can find out De-
troH Free Press.
A 6.ycar-oldcr was seated in bar
ber's chair 'Well, my little man, " said
the barber chow would you like your
hair cut?" 30, like papa's with a little
round hole at the top"
yes, sirn' said the Kcntuckian; II
never was in more tantaliling position
in my life. There were three of us with
pack of cards in the room, and not u
deuced cent in the crowd
A wicked man killed himself in the
lowest level of Nevada mine, and the
account says: Thus his alleged soul
was saved over half amle of transporta-
ton
Magistrate: "Do you know the nature
Of an oath, my boy?' Witness prompt-
w: Yes, sir Must take il, SIR
else | can't be 'memb'r o parl'ment,
sir?n
"My Charley is growing perfect love
of II mustache,n said one schoolgirl to
another; Il can see it real plain" 80
you ought, dear; it is frequently right
under your nose, "
A powder is advertised by q man that
is warranted to cure cats and dogs
running about and making Il noise at
night" 1t is black and put in gun,
and makes noise itself,
He was so mad to find his wife not at
nOlUt lIldl nt lpbh VIC SVhl' ubN Nl''o
across the looking-glass, "Betsey Jane
is a big fool" She amended it with
as wife"
What did you say the conductors
name WASP" GLASS, Mr. Glass" 20,
no." "But it is" Impossible! 1t can't
be- And why, not, pray" BE
cause, sir, Glass is nonconductor. "
Thoughtful Consideration Isabel IT.
enc: Please shut your eyes for n mo-
ment, mamma" Mammal "Why"
Isabel Irene: you said You never want
cd to see me take any sugar, and | am
going to take a piece now"
The hest of reasons, A story is told of
an old gentleman who always took notes
of his minister's sermon and on one oc-
casion read them to tho minister him
self "Stop! stop" said he at the oc.
currcnce of certain sentence. II
didn't say that" Il know you didn't
was the reply, Il put that in myself 70
make sense"