The daily gazette., 1882-12-27
STAGE MAKE-uPs.
Discussion of the subject of Theatrical
Bald Heads and Beards.

Bald Heads and Boards.
Laramie Boomerang.l
Most everyone who was not born blind,
knows that the stage bald head Is delusion
and snare. The only all-w0ol, yard wide,
bald-head we remember on the American
stage Is that Of Dnmstdm Kirke as worn by
the veteran, Couldock. Etiie Ellsler wears
her own hair and so does Couldock, but
Couidoek wears his the most. It Is the
most worn anyhow.
What we started out to say, Is, that the
stage bald head and the average stage
whiskers makes us weary with life. The
stage bald-head is generally made of the In
! ternal economy Of q COW, dried 90 that IL
| chimes, and cut TO fit the head as tightly as
a potato sack would naturally it a billiard
cue. 1t Is generally about four shades
| winter than the red face of the wearer or
| vice versa. We do not know which Is the
worst violation of eternal fitness, the red
| faced man who wears n deathly white bald
head or the pale young actor who wears
| fiorid roof on his intellect. Sometimes In
starring through the country and playing
ten or fifteen hundred engagements, bald
head gets soiled.
We notice that when show gets 70
Laramie the chances are that the bald-head
of the leading old man is SO soiled that he
really needs sheep dip shampoo. Another
feature of this accessory of the stage is It's
singular failure to it. It is either a little
short at both ends or II hangs over the skull
in large festoons and wens warts in
such way as TO make the audience believe
that the wearcr has dropsy Of the brain.
You can never get stage bald-head near
enough like nature to fool the average house
fly A fiy knows in two moments whether
it is the genuine or only base imitation,
and the bald-he OF the theatre fills him
| with nausea and disgust. Nature, at all
times hard TO initiate, preserves her bald
, head as she does her sunny skies and deep
, blue seas far beyond the reach Of the weak
in fallible human imitator.
Badness is like fame, it cannot be pur
: chased II must be acquired. Some meu
A may be born bald, some may acquire bald
ness, and others may have badness thrusi
, upon them, but they generally acquire it.
The stage beard il also rather dizzy as
c rule. 1t looks as much like beard tina
e grew there as cows tail would il tied Il
a the bronze dog on the front porch. Wher
you tie u heavy black beard on q younI
actor whose whole soul would be churnet
up il he smoked a full fedged cigar, h
g looks about as savage as a bowl of musl
: and milk struck with club.
brains and Obesity.
Fat is by some considered an indication
{ of laziness. Physically, .his is to a certail
# extent true, but not mentally. Some q
{ the greatest men the world ever saw Wer
l., plump even to obesity. Napoleon was de
cidedly embonpoint. Some one says tina
men Of genius had parchment loo
e formerly, because being underpaid, the
+ were constantly underfed. That type
Il now, however, as extinct as the dodo 0
a megotharus. There are no litcrati now VIII
like Saudery, flavor their crust with plec
! Of bacon stolen from = mouse trap. Dl
l. johnson was fleshy, even 70 clumsiness. )
was his biographical shadow, Boswell
William Writ, the great orator Of the earl
u part or the century, and attorney in th
re Burr trial, laced with corsets so that he wa
a frequently carried fainting from the coui
= room. Balzac, the French novelist was 2
stout that II WAS days exercise to wal
IL around him; and he was encircled with banC
IN ages, as If he were hogshead. Rossini, h
Is musical composer, was a regular Jumb'
n since for six years he never saw his knee
The small boys called him a hippopotamt
ie in pantaloons Jules Janin, the prince
D. critics, broke every sofa he sat down upon
Dl his chin and cheeks protruded beyond h
H. beard and whiskers. Lablanche was charge
IA three fares when he travelled. Dumas II
elder vas stout Saint Beuve was curse
u with the stomach of a Jack Falstai
s; Eugene Sue, the author of the Wdaderi,
le Jew, as well as Lord Byron, so dreaded b
4. coming fat that he indulged in vinegar AL
u lemon II is generally considered, wht
~ speaking of people remarkable for flesh, tn
as Daniel Lambert leads the list. lie was boz
n. in 1770. In June 1900 he weighed, al
ld tapped the beam at 737 pounds. His mea
~ ures round the waist was three yards fo
inches, and he was one yard four inch
hu round the leg. He died on June 20, lSO
OF and his coffin was 6 feet inches long, fe
K 4 inches wide, feet inches deep and
as quired IL superficial feet Of plank to ma
- 1t. II was built on two axle trees and 70
v wheels Twenty men worked half am no
to get this monster into the grave, and
last slid the coffin down an incline plane