Morning journal and courier., 1882-07-18
''No impotence, sir '"
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Love NIarred by Brooches.

1T had rather an amusing love affair myself in Texas which should like te tell you, if you will not feel bored with my long anecdotes,'' ,'' said the New York man, throw ing away his stump of cigar. 1T was staying at ranche on the Rio Grande, and fell in love- or thought had fallen in love, with a beautiful little dansel who resided with her father at small hacienda twenty miles away. I was the possessor of new pair of buck skin brooches which I had purchased in New Orleans, but had hitherto never worn. One morning put them on. They fitted perfect ly, and I was so delighted with the appear ance of my neither limbs that l determined to pay visit to Donna Isabella. When half way on my ride 1t began to rain in torrents and my brooches began to stretch, and the stretching continued until they hung half a dozen inches below my boot heels. l arrived in the young ladys presence in rather worse looking condition than that Of the drowned rat. However, she received me kindly and conducted me to the kitchen, where 8 roaring fire was blazing. I sat talking to her while my clothes were drying. and was too much occupied to think about my new brooches, when my love making was cut short by the announcement of supper. l gave my arm to the donna and entered the next room. We were greeted with shouts of laughter from 8 large company of men and women who were seated at the table. I glanced downward and my eyes fell ou the cause of their mirth. My
 brooches had shrunk with the heat until they had rolled above my knees, leaving 8 wide space of bare flesh between them and my l socks. A love for the sesthetic did not four ish in those days, at least not in Mexico, and I was glad to hide my legs under the table. and for the rest of the evening I wrapped a mantilla round my limbs. I was too uncom- fortable to resume my love making to Isabel la besides, she laughed whenever she looked at me- slept there that night in a room on the ground floor overlooking 8 wide meadow
 Thinking the fresh air would restore my brooches to their normal condition, took them off and spread them on the grass, and
 then jumped back through the window and
 went to bed. In the morning I arose early and looked for the cherished garments. dreadful sight met my gaze. Two COWS
 were contentedly breakfasting off them, and
 only portion of the seat and the band with the buttons remained. I did not know what
 to do and lay in bed waiting for the appear ancs of one of the inhabitants of the house.
 Presently Isabellas father went past my win- dow. I hailed him and told him my plight. He laughed and said he would fetch me pair of his trousers. Now I am tall and spare my Mexican host was short and enor- mously fat the trousers he produced me were patched in every direction with cloth of divers colors. Imagine my appearance when I put them on. The rest of the house had been told of my misfortune, so when l left the room I found all tbs men and girls in the place, including Isabella, awaiting nay debut I shall never forget the wild yells of laughter
 which greeted me, and it struck me that Isa- bella laughed louder than the rest. I made 2
 rush for the stable, hastily saddled my horse, and without word of farewell, rode off as hard as 1 could. I never went to see Isabella ! again. Nothing kills love so badly as f1dl- cule."