davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

Before and after Mr.. Evarts says
that sentence going the rounds, at
tributed to him, is an attempt at con-
densing one of his dispatches protest
ing against the dismemberment of
Turkey. 1t was founded On an Incl
dent which occurred at one of his
Thanksgiving dinners at home. chad
a roasted New England goose, well
stuffed with sage, with plenty OF apple
sauce and the usual Accomplishments.
At the close of the meal l said "My
children, you now see the difference
between the condition of affairs before
and after dinner. You then saw a
goose stuffed with sage now you see
q sage stuffed with goose
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

Enquirer: a school teacher is a
person employed to give parents five
hours of peace and quiet per day.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

Before dipping new pen into ink,
thurst it into fresh-cut potato, and
the ink will never cling. When the
pen is thickly gummed with dried ink
few thrusts will dry it perfectly.
When not in use some accountants
leave their pens sticking into potato
kept on the desk for the purpose.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27
Nature Revealing Her Treasures.

A lofty mass Of rock which threw
it's shadows over Las Vegas, New Mexi-
co, half mile away, lately tumbled
into the valley. Five to fifteen tens of
rock were loosened from their founda-
ton, The mountain lowered five
thousand feet above the Gallinus river.
The most remarkable result of this vio-
lent change is found to be the disclos-
ing at the Ioint of rupture, high on the
mountain side, Of an eight foot vein of
copper carbonates and sulphides. which
was promptly located by B. F. Martin
dale, and he is now holding his claim
with brace of forty-fours. Halfway
down the side of the mountain coal
bed was laid bare, which was also pre-
empted as soon as discovered.-Sdn
Francisco Bulletin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

IT SEEMS IMP ossIBLE that remedy made of
such common, simple plants as Hops Buchu,
Mandrake Dandelion, etc, should make so many
and such great cures as Hop Bitters do: but when
old and young, rich and poor. pastor and doctor
LAWYER and editor all TESTIFY having been cured
by them, you must believe and try them your
self and doubt no longer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

Sanitary lectures in Glasgow, Scot
land are stripped of all technicalities,
and deal with sanitary matters in a
plain, common sense way. When a
lecture is delivered it is printed and
sold to the audience attending the next
lecture at the low price of 2 cents.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

The mutability Of the weather is Sc
marked at present that man doesn't
know whether to lay in fresh sealskin
cap and sell his white plug, or to pawn
his ulster and lay in bottle of blood
purifier.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-04-27

Mr.. Charles A. Reynolds of Madison, Ind,
writes For ten years have been trying to re-
gain my health. Sometimes 1 doetored tor my
kidneys; again, L would take cough medicines
and consumption cures, and then my dyspepsia
would nearly kill me. and L had to doctor for
that. Hearing of DR.. Guv sott's elbow Dock and
Sarsaparilla, 1 bought bottle. 1t did me more
good than l expected. I am now robust and
strong and have not felt sick for long time. I
feel strong in every part of my body, and at
night I enjoy most refreshing, dreamless slum-
her"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
Accurate Time-Keeping.

Many Of the discoveries of science
which at the time are regarded merely as
refnements-yery interesting, but with
out practical value-sooner or later find
their special uses in supplying wants
before unfelt. 1t is but one of the evil
dences of the advance of civilization
that exact methods of dividing and
measuring time are now in demand, not
only by scientists and professional men
as formerly, but by persons in the ordin-
airy pursuits of life. To railroad men
and watch-makers as matter of neces-
sity. to manufacturers and business men
as matter of economy, and to individ-
uals as a matter of convenience, it has
come to be highly important to know
what is the exact time of day to the sec
ond, in circumstances where half a CEN
tury ago it would have quite sufficed to
know the minute or even the hour. This
may be due to the increased value of
time when measured by the number of
events or the magnitude of operations
which modern ingenuity is capable of
crowding into given interval; there
can be no doubt that a second to-day,
records greater stride in the worlds
progress than did many hours in the
days of our ancestors. Of so great inn
portance, for many evident reasons, has
the knowledge of the exact time become,
that much thought of some of the best
heads has been devoted to methods of
ascertaining it and making it available
by distribution for public use.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
Sorgho as a Sheen Feed.

The discussion as to the best winter
feed for sheep, during the meeting of
the Kansas Wool Growers, disclosed the
fact that sorgho has been used to con-
siderable extent in that State. One
breeder had kept large flock of sheep
for two winters with very little other
feed than sorgho. His custom was to
feed most of the cane while standing in
the field-the sheep thus doing their
own harvesting. A portion was eat in
the fall, and cured, for use when wealth
er was such as to prevent access to the
field. The sheep were at first driven
upon a portion of the field, and allowed
to remain twenty minutes; thefollowing
day somewhat longer, and, in a short
time, for half day at time. Their
other food was buffalo and prairie grass.
With such treatment during last winter,
sheep came through in fine condition.
Freezing somewhat injured the quality
of the cane, but not enough to warrant
the cost and labor of cutting and haul
ing more than fraction of the crop.
He used the Minnesota amber cane.
The result of these experiments is of
great interest to breeders of live stock.
Sorgho is one of the few plants that can
be depended upon for a reasonable
growth in those dry seasons which bring
and loss to the husband
man who depends upon the growth of
young stock for a percentage of his
profits. Breeders Gazette, Chicago.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
Ancient Structures In Norway.

1t is plain, from NJ Du Chaillu's OBJ
servations of the domestic architecture
peculiar to Scandinavia, that few dwell
Lighthouses in Continental Europe can
rival in antiquity the farm buildings of
Norway The log walls of the latter
have proved more durable than those of
stone, and still seem able to defy the
ravages of time. They were built of fir.
trees hewn in the primitive forests, and
some of them date back to the year one
thousand, /, and even to the eighth and
seventh centuries. The timber has be-
come SO hardened through the absorb
ton of the resin by the fbres of the
wood that the axe has hardly any effect
upon it. The logs are, often of great
width, showing a size of trees not at
present prevalent in Scandinavia. Many
of these old farms have remained in the
possession of the same family from the
time of Canute to our own day. The
reason why Norway can boast of SO
many old houses is that its inaccessible
mountains have been safe from the de-
vastatiens of wars, for when conflicts
have taken place they have been chiefly
on the water, or on the shores of the
sea. Most of these ancient dwellings
are situated in valleys and dales, which
but few years ago were approachable
only by bride paths, and where the life
of the isolated inhabitants is still most
primitive On many an old farm are
found chests of different shapes and
sizes, made centuries ago, long before
closets were built, and in many districts
they are still in use. You also meet
with movable cupboards and wardrobes
which are interesting on account of their
age and elaborate carvings.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23

for him and every person in the car. A
wild scene took place. Men cursed and
clawed wildly. Women got up on the
seats and danced, and the dog, which
everybody thoughtifo be mad, tore up
and down the aisle, bowling. The con-
ductor came in, thinking the people
insane. He promptly joined the show.
As the train was flying, folks couldn't
jump off. No mad house ever saw such
scene There was profanity enough
to sink ship, and the brakeman, gaz-
ing in at the door, said it beat anything
he ever saw in variety show. Finally,
the conductor stopped the train, folks
got out, and the car was cleared of
wasps and dog. But the passengers
didn't get over it. They were an awful
mad set, and occasionally after they got
started again, man would find stray
wasp IN his trowsers and rise and yell.
They talked of suing the railroad, and
if they could have got that drummer
his death would have been frightful But
he had gone on anothert train another way.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
A Eight.

Country physicians are called to per-
form all sorts of services. But few, we
suppose. have ever been summoned, as
was a Maine doctor, to protect a wo-
man. poultry-yard from a fierce eagle:
DIR. Torrington, who is seventy years
old and by no means athletic, was hur-
riedly summoned the other afternoon to
the house of neighbour. Mrs. S. Had
lock, of Peaks Island, Maine. When
he reached Mrs. Hadlock's he found
that he was expected to kill with gun
instead of with his medicine-chest
An eagle of sweeping wing and fierce
scream was. circIing about the Had
lock poultry-yard, and the good woman
was protecting her Thanksgiving tur-
keys by means of brickbats hurled with
AmaZonian courage.
The doctor was amazed and amused.
for he never before had heard of such
boldness on the part of the baldheaded
things, however big their beaks. He
was about to take aim, when the bird
swooped down at him.
At that moment six-year-old child,
a grandson of Mrs. Hadlock, toddled
out of the house, and the eagle bounced
upon the little fellow. Mrs. Hadlock
struck frantically at the eagle with
large roller-towel, and, releasing the
boy, it flew to neighboring oak.
DR.. To1aington put a double charge
ia the Hadlock shotgun and fired. The
eagle flew upward and away over the
sea. and its flight showed that it was
wounded. DIR. Torrington's shoulder
was dislocated by the recoil of his gun.
Before night some fishermen found the
eagles body half a mile off shore.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
NATUaE,s TRIUMPH.


Eraz1ex.a Root H1tters.
II you are weak, or languid, use
Frazer,s Bitters.
If your flesh is fabby and your com.
plexion sallow, use Frazer's Bitters.
If you live in malarial district, use
Frazer's Bitter's
If worn down with the care of chill
dren, use Frazer's Bitters.
IF you hare got the blues, use Fraz
er's Bitters.
If you kept late hours and lived CON-
trary to the laws of health, use Fraz
er's Root Bifters.
If you need toning up. take Frazer's
Root Bitters.
If you have abused instead of used
natures gifts, use Frazer's Bitters.
Ifyou feel old before your time, use
Frazer's Bitters.
Iflife has become burden and you
have gloomy forbodings, use Frazer's
Bitters.
If your hands tremble and yoar eyes
have grown dim, Frazer's Root Bit
tiers will make you feel young again.
Sold by all druggists everywhere at
the low price $1.00 per bottle. T.. s..
Henry Co., Sole Proprietos, Cleveland
Ohio.
For sale by McCabe s. Wheaton. Rock Island.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
A Drummer's Brilliant Idea.

Some people seem born. with q faculty
of raising the ancient masculine Juven-
lie. They get folks who are minding
their own business and merely want
peace and quiet, into all sorts of scrapes.
This faculty is peculiarly developed in
the commercial tourist, usually referred
to as a drummer. He's the man who
makes love to all the pretty servant girls
in the hotels and gets their notions so
high that they won notice the porters,
and it makes the latter want to slug
the drummers. One of this class OF
gentlemen was at an up-country railway
station some days ago, and discovered,
while waiting for train, a wasp s nest.
An idea at once struck him. How ne
achieved the feat without getting hurt
we don't know. Probably the Wasps
were dormant with cold But at any
rate, he got the nest down and tied It
to the tail of yellow dog that Was fool
inc around the depot. The dog started
to run and thatso stirred up the wasps
that they sent out q courier to lHvesuSate,.
and as he did so in q manner disagree
able 10 the doc he only ran the harder
and nadethree wild circuits of the depot
The train meanwhile came in, and as
trains don't stop long at country stations.
II was Just starting as the dog came
round the third time. Wild with pain.
the dog leaped aboard the train and
plunged into a crowded car just as the
brakeman closed the door. The poor
brute eet beneath seat and tried to
curl up. The car was hot and it warm
ed up' the wasps and they came out,
and IN about half q minute the men IN
that seat jumped up SO hard they nearly
stove holes ia the roof, and the way they
clawed st their legs was caution. Ey-
erybody looked. Then others became
Interested. And the dog started on the
run through the car. The waSps went
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
stereotyped Humor.

It is sad fact that American humor-
lists, as a class. resemble precocious
children. Let them do one thing at
which the. world laughs, and they viii
repeat the performance over again with
q persistence and a mad hankering to
please which makes justifable homicide
a relaxation as Wei as a duty. Stanley
Huntley's ssSpoopendyke Papers'' were
good at first, but anybody could write
them now. The humor is strictly ma
chine work, but s'Mr Spoopendyke'
grinds away at bis comparison mill with
fresh and breezy conviction that his
fun does not pail upon repetition. Mark
Twain's Jokes are the result of plain,
chemical formula; given a man. chair,
a dark night and a tumble, and gram
mar school boy could construct q wit
tieisln which MIR. Clemens would swear
was his own. Bill Nye has his little re-
ceipt for humor Just as George W Peek
has his, and Peck could write Nye's
stuff lust as Nye could write Eugene
Fields, or Aleck Swart, write Josh Bill
lings's. What we complain of is that
there is no spontaniety about recent
humorous writer's These amusing gen.
tlenen would as soon think of tamper-
ing with the Lords prayer as altering
the form made or expression of their
wit. They seem to think that when
they have a good thing they should
stick to It. a patented style of humor
may, as the country grows older, pass
as an heirloom in certain families. and
it would be no surprise to us, were we
to revisit the pale glimpses OF the moon
five centuries hence, to discover q de-
scendant of Stanley Huntley writing that
all Mrs. Spoopendyke' needed TO be
Eve was to add few years to her age.
st. LOUIS Post Dispatch.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
Moffatss Life Pills.
and
Phoenix BIiters.

The Most Successful Medicines
I'm the World.
Established in 1885, by one OF
our Nest Eminent Physicians.
and now used t.sroHg bout North
and South America, with more
pleasing results than any other
Medicine.
M0ffat's Life Pills
are purely vegetable; they act
ON the Stomach ard Liver. and
regulate tile ant;Te system: and
put all the functions of tie BODY
in Isealtily condition, o and
WARRANTED certain cure for
all hilarious Diseases, Torpid
Liver, Impure Isiood, Jaaniice,
Bilious Complaints. Dyspepsia.
Indigestion. CosfiYeness. Nerv
Gus and Sick Headache, Colds.
Scuryy, General Weakness, and
Fever e. Ague.
MOffat's PhGni1 Isitters
correct the Seerefions OF the
Ston ach, and are Sure Cure
Tor SieepieSsness, Nervousness,
Dyspepsia, Female Complaints,
Weakness, Debility, etc.
s Thousands Of Certificates are
in eur possession giving perfect
CURES effected by these inyaIu-
able medicines, and we are GER
tain that they will do just what
we have said. It is simply ask
ed that the afflicted will TRY
THEN ONCE. their use will COM
vince the most skeptical.
Pages Climax SalYe 25 cents box. .
Moffafss Life Pills 25 cents a box.
Moffatss Ph@nix Bifters SI.O0 q bottle
Gy Sold by Druggists everywhere
j. r. MILLS, Sole Proprietor,
SIS Liberty Street NeH York.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23

oscar Wilde is the identical gentleman
who said he never bathed because he
didn't like to see himself foreshortened
ia the water. This idea is one of the
.sEnglish Renaissance.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
Climax! Climax s!

Pages Climax SalVe.
A Family Blessing for rs cents.
1t heals without a scar. No
family should be w ithout it.
We WARRANT it to CURE
Sores, Ulcers, Scrofula Sores,
Fever Sores, Salt Rheum ,sSOre
Breasts Or Nipples, Erysipelas,
Swollen Glands, In1lamed Eyes,
Scaids, Burns, Cuts, Bruises,
Fistuia, Piles, BoiIs, ChiIbiains,
Frosted Feet, Germs, and all GU
taneOus diseases on man or beast.
It has been used over twenty
Eve years, without one failure.
1t has no paraliel-IiaEiRg per-
fectIy eradicated disease, eand
healed after all other remedies
had failed. 1t is q compound of
ArHica with many other Extracts
and Halsams, and put u p i'm larger
boxes for the same price than any
other Ointment.
g. Sold by Druggists everywhere
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23

There are none who bore as like ctr
own relafiens when uncongeniaI, none
who so try our patience and wiring our
nerves.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
LYDsA e PTNKHARHsS
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
The Positive On
The Positive Cure
For all Female COMPLAINTS

This preparation, as its name sicnifes conssts 80
vegetable Properties that harmless TO the noat s
ihvand upon one trial the merits of this Conn
pound VIII BE recognized relief Is immediate: and
when its use Is continued ninety cases I'm a mrs
dred, effected thousands will te.
tfg On account of its proven merits it is TODAY rr
commended and prescribed by the best physicians In
the country.
It VIII cure entirely the worst form of farrne
OF the uterus Leucorrhoa, irregular and painful
Menstruatton all Ovarian Troubles Inflammation and
liberation Floodings, all DISBURSEMENTS and the eon-
sequent spinal weakness and Is especially adauted e.
the Change OF Life. 1t win dissolve and expei tumors
from the uterusin early stage of developmenf TIM
tendency TO cancerous hamors there lie checked very
speedily by its use.
In fact 1t has proved to be the areas
esq and best remedy that has ever been discover
60 n pereates every portion Of the system and gives
new hfeandvigor 1t remove -a.sbness fatulercy do
ssroys alicraviag for stuianss relieves weakness
OF the stomach.
II cures Floating, Headaches Nervous Prostration
General Debility, Sieeplessness Depression and rnd
gestion That feeling OF bearing down. causing paRn
weight and backache always permanently curec nv
It's use 1t wlat all times, and undera all circunstan-
ces, act in harmony with the law that governs che
female system.
For kidney Complaints of either seq this compound
unsurpassed.
Lydia {. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
hsprspared ut $50 and 2s5 Western Avenue lynn Msz
Price seo Six bottles for $500 Sent by mail in tina
form OF pills. also In the form OF Lozenges on receipe
OF price, s1oO, per boz, for either. Mrs PINYHAM
freey answers all ietters OF inquiry Send PAM
phiet Address as above Eenfton tAis paper
No family should be without LYDIA z. PINKHAM
LIVER PILLS. They cure Constipation, BsliousnssA
and Torpidity OF the Liver. 30 cents Der boz.
soG31, oNs PLUMBER d CO.
ner Agents, CHICAGO, Ike
~ Soia be Wheaton. Rock Island
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23
CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC r. Y.

Is THE GREAT CONNECTING LINK
I,s nla5a line r1ns fre2. Chicago 90 .Copsact.
Slitfis. psEsifg through soii9S Ottawa, r.. Sale,
Senesecs Moline. Rock Islsnd. Davenport, West
Des @o:nes sthe capital of IoYa4. Stuart, Atlas-
&c. and Ayocss With branches fTola BaTcaa
Sunoti..n % Peoria; Wilton junction 20 MHscne
Centrevisie. PT1cetcn. trenton. tssi.ar' ta.:1
roEs .LeavenTorth AteaaSurls and Kansas Eitys
2 washington TO SiIo1rEey. Dsk88ocC2. ana Knox
Ftbe; ksnkuk 70 Pennington BonapEftc, {sen-
s21sport lndependait Eidon Ott-.Inua, EDDY
vile, Gaxflcosa. Peiia. Monroe. end Des Mofnes;
Newton % Monross Des Moines 70 Insiia.rste and
vinterset: Atlantic 70 Lewis and Aadebcn; snd
Railroad witch owns. srfd operases a through
line from Chicago into the STATE Of kanszs-
Through FxpTe5s Passenger Trains, with Pail
man Palace Isrs attached. arerun each <Tzy daily
between CHICAGO and PEORIA. KANsAS CRY.
COUNCIL BLUFFS, LEAvENwDfsTR and ATcHI-
soN. Throuzh ears are else ren betwecn Niiuau-
zee anf ksnsas CITY ria tke "1iiiNaosee sud
The {" Great Hook Island - is hsagni1ceztly
equipped. kts road bed ~ aEapy perfect, ana ats
trick 10 laid with steel rails
what Will please yea most will he The pleasure
Of enjoying your meals. while passing over the
beautifsn pFaiTias Of Illinois and Iowa N one OF
our magnificent Dining Cars that accompany all
Through Express Trains You ges IN entire.
Appreei5t.lsg the fact shat majority OF she
people prsfer sepafefe apartments fer diIeEeut
PURPOSES t.nd the immense passenger business
of This line waTrantuz III. NO are pleased 20 an
nounce that this Company runs Pullman Palaee
SleeRfag Ccvs for sleeping purposes, and PGlgce
PULLMAN pAE4AEE Ca Rs are m
G0gNCEL 8LEEE' KANSAS EsTI, !
al Ticket Agents In tIsS EnStcd states
For kuf0rnn&Efon nut Ok3fRxxszB2& IT "a
*. ne. CABLE 49, ~
Fica President ard 6ea7 M&1A&b1
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23

pies on the lace lest manned. ativev y
wanting the delicate RttcreB, call
home for patients. Fsi;ps1z rPhse ttsi-
which tells ali about heseitcs, nle shea nerr- Why
not 10 cents to D. iares ias cry ras ans
earors.
pm; Sunday, 10 10 II. Dr. 81 Of age
s1AIIERING AID gIsI1TTr.IfffG CUIE2
O4 Nc FE-
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-02-23

.lIs II LS-ss-Ioa

E.;',,;;s sg9sSiifsFf,
:e0zVTassi- agtal St,
Cor ff.ss.t.iii, EEtCSGO-
Cha tered hy tire state o.
Iilinais Tor the e. press l,flrlIesa
e. FigiIE, iFaNeriiaie relief in
siieases ofJsriea,n,ch alsl
urinary ,i,.-sa-gs II ali their
eissli,ilca - forms. II e well
Er.sp - ~. .fs,a.eS hEs ssa,.i -
tne !.es,l o. Il,,. PRECISION b
sac PAST ii.irtv year. ~
eti.s-e .,e5-;..-,s,= arc Fsi iI-ls-sf
sant. >s.i.a. %.-F -.i'-s>.
p;eFsi.sa-s oy urs-suls fiIsf-
Co. - a,..-..,f afff@s
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1882-06-24
Another View Of the Case.

In. plxss There are many men u many
minds 50 that while there Ia undoubtedly an
absolute right, II men could but lind ii. and b.,
road TO II, there Is almost Of necessity Diversity
of roads and conscientious men adopt maans
to good end, which to Others equally connuisa-
tious appear doubtful or oven worse u u ponnihlo
cheap production Of Compounded hqoos Win -
more good than evil While the 'ipfosmsli0n
thereby impaired is now To some who will tusn u
to bad use, will the resulting evil b moro than
break or avoid tho habit OF using liquors
What Il will BE-, Is OF oousso the visv hsld by
those WHO undertake 70 70, psoPle = nov vhat
great result.