Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1882-07-12
Whole No. 2O76.
Tho Trout Fishing Liar,

"fhe trout liar" said Captain Her
bert, lis the gem Of all fishers, lie is
the saddle-rock llaFi u moore among
antelopes Hyperion To satyr he Is
tho long-tailcd comet among tho quiet
lwinklers, All men cannot be trout
liars, The trout liar must bc born
with peculiar fitness for the task, aud
then he must be educated 10 II aud do
vote himself TO treat lies u liie'work,
When David said IN his haste, IAN
men are liars, Saul aud Ablndab, Doeg
and Edmonite, had probably just re-
turned from irout-ish down along the
brook IN the Valley Elah, aud were
telling what they had seen and what
they had done, aud David, as he lis.
tened to them numbering the unarmed
truth, naturally supposed there was no
more truth lail IN the hearts Of men In
all the wide world,
"Thc trout liar exceeds all other
liars, because the man who has done
any amount of trout fishing Il, to u
certain extent, u Travelled man. IL is
his custom to sit on the ycranda and
tell his stories, crushing all compcti.
ton, and putting his feet on the neck OF
all ordinary striped bass and land
locked salmon liars. But If it happen
that just rs he has told his MASTER
piece the opposition trout liar comes in
with II right bower, genuine royal
flush of u trout lie, the first liar is hurt
to the heart he is detected and sor-
rowlul and says not another word that
night. But he draws new inspiration
from defeat, and the very next place
he goes to he appropriates the lie that
paralyzcd him, and, unblnshngly
claiming it as his own, dciiantly crush.
es down all pitiful competition with
crowning lie that only two days before
crushed him.
"There are several kinds Of trout
liars. The liar of weights, who never
catches more than half dozen trout u
day. but they each weigh anywhere
from eight to ten pounds. Then there
is the liar of numbers who always
catches so many dozen in one hour and
twenty-cight minutes. And there is
the liar of places, who knows hidden
pools, dark and still, in the secret
places of the rocks, that are just boil
ing over with trout, and he takes you
under many oaths of secrecy ANA by
stealthy and circutous routes to these
places, and you fish in them for eight
mortal hours without nibblc.
"But you can never corner trout
liar. Arithmetic, facts, science, prob
abilities, precedent, general principles
and the eternal fitness of things may
combine in overwhelming array to
proye him the awfullest liar in England
or America; it doesn't disturb him.
He lies on, calmly, confidentially, en-
Enthusiastically, always locating the
scene of his lies so tar away he is pref
ty certain you will never 60 there.
"There are limits to human belief"
the good jester said, rising to his feet.
You may believe what the candidate
says on the stump; you may believe
what man tells you in horse trade;
you may believe the army liar, and
you may believe the snake liar, but
when a man takes his cigar from his
lips, and with simple prefix of Il
place and date, starts in on trout
story, bar and bolt and lock and double
lock the gates of your belief when he
gets to the mace. Don't believe a sim
gle, solitary front, not though it weighs
less than pound. Under the shadow
of the trout, truth dies and the man
that fishes four days and cnly hooks
one lone trout, so small that he loses it
in his empty basket, comes home the
biggest liar of them - [San Fran
cisco Chronicle.