Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-01-01
PITH AND POINT.

HANG the thermometer. What else
is it good for?
"THE world is all STAGE" and every
man wants to ride on top.
TIE boy who is well shingled by his
parent will shed water.
KEEP your stove coaled if you would
keep your house warm.
THE Sultan has 800 cooks. 1t makes
one sick to think Of the broth.
a D1sAGREEABLE man is one whose
idea Of fun differs from yours.
MEN who recklessly run In debt are
frequently inclined to eau de V.
The man who receives and exchanges
p counterfeit bill returns good for evil.
TEMPERANCE reformers should turn
their attention to money-it Is always
tight.
A SICK man is considered out of
danger when the doctor discontinues his
visits.
The fool buyeth an umbrella, but the
prudent man knoweth trick worth two
Of that.
Why is lean monarch like man In
meditation Because he is a thin king
(thinking).
Puck has renamed the months In the
revolutionary French style, with changes
suited to longitude and language, thus:
No ONE ever yet saw man who made
move to separate two dogs engaged IN
battle, as long as his own dog was hav-
ing the best OF it.
AN agriculturist writes on elbow to
tell good cow" eft is all right, but
of no use to man who does not know
what he wants to tell the cow"
'tSER1oUs charges against a Chicago
dealer" is the head line of dispatch in
the daily papers. He probably had three
aces in his boot. -Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
AN exchange says the national debt,
in silver dollars, could be removed by
rail by loading $3.50 cars with ten tons
each. We can't believe it. II it was SO,
why ISM it done ?-Danbury NeaOs.
THERE was man, whose name was Burt
Lived in this vale of tears,
And drove mule and neer got hurt
For more than twenty years.
But nature will itself assert,
OF that behold the proof,
The other day that mule kicked Burt
Clear through the stable roof
SM1rH-" Say, Jones, let me ask you
confdentially why you associate with
that fellow fomplzins? He is a fraud,
beat and a scamp" Jones" Is ne I?
Why, that's just what he says Of you"
Smith" Why, the internal slanderer,
I'll break every bone in his body!"
JUST why man should be ashamed
to own that he is injured by fall, we
don't see, but ninety-nine men out Of
hundred on getting up from slippery
spot will lie like butchers, and say,
'sNot hurt at all, !" when in truth they
are bruised and skun in over twenty
places.
"WHY, I'm SO glad you've come. Did
you know that I've been worrying about
you, John, all the EVENING" "That's
| just what 1 married you for. It is pleas
ant to think that there is some one home
worrying about you" Somehow this
| view of the matter didn't exactly coin
eide with her ideas of marital amenities.
January would be Siushuary
February would be Slopuary.
March would be Winduary.
April would be Rainuary
May would be Muduary.
June would be Warnuary.
July wouid be Rossjuary
August would be Broiluary.
September would be Obituary
October would DO COlduary.
November would ne Frostusry.
December would be Snowuary.
Mrs. BosIBAzINE, who engineers
Galveston hasnery, can be very sarcastic.
One of her boarders always comes late
and eats like he has power of-attOrney
to eat for several of his friends. Yester-
day she said to him Young man, you
come at one and eat for twelve Now
couldn't you arrange it to come at twelve
and eat for one. "-GGlUe8tO1l NcUs.
SAM JoHNsING is the colored porter in
large Galveston business house, which
is proverbial for'not paying its employees
living wages. The other day the head
of the firm called Sam back just as he
was going to dinner and said to him {:
81 want to ask you something, Sam, but
to save my Life can't remember what
it was" Perhaps" said Sam,
"you was gwine to ask me how
de debbel Ikeep soul and body toged-
der Oh 81 week. -Goloeston NeaOS.
The most accommodating man in
Ohio kept small hotel near Cleveland.
One night the house caught fire, and,
while terrified man was climbing
through burning window, the proprie-
tor rushed up and exclaimed "Haye
you got any baggage?" Ono, sir"
"Guests without any baggage are re-
quested to pay up before they leave this
hotel. You owe me IS cents ON last
weeks bill, and So on this weeks, side
from ordering beef sandwich extra.
Get back ! won't be cheated in this
way Cleveland Leader.
Life in the Polar Regions.