The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1882-06-01
PLEASANTRIES.


PLEASANTRIES
A MOTTO for young lovers-So-fa and
no father. r,
CALLING for q division of the house
Filing petition for divorce.
A LAWYER is about the only man that
ever made anything by opposing won-
ans will.
WHEN at home, the Chinanan Is q
Mongolian. When in the United States
he is Mustgolian.
A LOUISVILLE belle has in her parlcf
beautiful embroidered motto, "E Plur
I bus, yum, YUM"
A YOUNG lady, not well versed In
music, wants to know if dance music Is
written in foot notes.
THE name of the Speaker Of the Mas
sachusetts House is No-yes, and his
ability to decide tie is doubted.
SIGN on gentleman's house in Edin-
burgh: "Any person entering these in
closures will be shot and prosecuted.
"FREE of charge-an empty gun.
There's where you make mistake. It's
the empty guns that have added to the
angelic population.
WHEN Patrick saw the announcement
in shop window, "Great Slaughter
in Clothing" he stepped in and inquired
for evan of thin kilt suits.
THE great social mania if to have ones
hand photographed. But when a man
holds four and fails to get a bet he
doesn't want his hand photographed.
HERE is one we thought of sending to
London Punch-Why is a small NOR
sci of bread smaller in French than in
English Because it is a moroccan (more
so).-LoaUeW Citizen.
eyes," said the country member, II
went to that variety show because I felt
sure there'd be nobody there who knew
me- burned if pretty much the whole
Legislature wasn't there !"
twill the coming man drink wine ?"
asks the Boston Star. He will when he
can get some other man to pay for it.
When the expense falls upon his own
shoulders he will imbibe beer.-NeW
York Commercial Advertiser.
A T1PsY Bostonian, who was arrested
while making vain efforts to clutch at
BARRIERS pole, exclaimed, as the police
man drifted him in the direction of the
station house, "Stransh, I never saw'r
'oora borealish smear before"
"WE1n, and what has become OF our
old friend X?" "Turned stock broker"
"Ah did he make anything2" "He
did-he made 400, 900 francs customer
had deposited with him, and then he
made for America p-P0ris paper.
"WHERE are you going to at such
gait p asked Jones, pere, as he met his
daughters young man. "What gate,
sir ?-there amt any gate-I mean"
and then he wrenched himself together
with sickly smile and looked feeble
minded.
els THE neighborhood much both
cred with cats ?" asked a gentleman who
was negotiating for the lease of a house.
eft used to be-" frankly answered the
landlord, "but since a French res
taurant was opened around the corner
A ooNoEITED man, noted for his lack
of good looks, pompously said :" I have
three children who are the very image
of myself" "How I pity the youngest"
exclaimed a person standing by. why
ia that ?" asked the conceited man.
"Because it is the one that will proba-
bly, have to resemble you the longest.
SOME charitable Harvard students
went and sawed up the wood pile of
poor widow while she was away, and
when she returned she discovered that
they had destroyed a lot of timber she
had bought to build an ell to her cot
tage. Bold, bad men are not adapted
to saving wood.
PRoFEssoK to classical student II
Atlas supported the world, who support
ed Atlas ?" Student" The question,
sir. has often been esked, but never, SO
far as am aware, satisfactorily an
swered. have always been of the opin-
ion that Atlas must have married rich
wife and got his support from her
fathar"