Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-07-01
FASHIONS IN LIES.
"A cne-Eyed WAN who was Look ing to
Something New.

From The Brooklyn Eagle.
What is the style Of spring lie this season."
| asked one-eycd man, as he dropped down by
the exchange editors side. ''Have they re-
trimmed the interconvertible snake. that breaks
up into precincts and comes together at the call
OF the presiding link ?"
" Haven't seen anything Of it," replied the ex-
change editor, plGnging his shears into the ac-
count OF tornado that shifted state line 100
leet and landed river i'm cottonwood grove
without disturbing ripple
I'm glad OF that" said the one-eyed man.
rupoing ms hands slowly. 81 never liked that
lie. 1t always seemed far-fetched and unwho-
some besides, YOU couldn't help thinking that
frog might swallow quorum of the snake and
not leave enough to transact business. Do YOU
see anything of that lie about the dragon out in
Illinois, with wings like a corn-patCh and smell
OF birthstone? Is the dragon current this year?n
" haven't struck him yet. answered the edi-
tor. eliminating the profanity from far western
account OF mine explosion, in which forty men
were blown through the side of mountain
seven miles thick. s. If he's around he's flying
very low"
THAT pleases me, too, smiled the one-eyed
man. stroking his chin. 1.-THE only objection
ever had to that dragon was the smell. 1t never
sounded reasonable. If they had said he
smelled of birthstone and moasses it might have
worked IN girls clearinghouse as fair
spring lie, but they couldn't fix it to do for men
unless they perfumed him with blue pills.. It
was great mistake. Have you struck any
fresh particulars about the sea serpent since the
thaw." - = .
Too early for him." returned the editor.
writing new headline to an account of baby
VINO fell out OF a window sixty feet and bounced
back without split, bruise or chp-off He'll be
around by the 14th of July"
line l4th of july" murmured the ope-eyed
man. -" reckon you're right. Yes. you're
right; with a head like barrel and eyes like
coffee cups; estimated by Mr.. VIM Jennings. of
N h. IN h,,.
mile long Yes, that's his date, July II. / like
to read about him. There's always something
breezy and fresh about that serpent, though he
must be getting on in years now. What's be-
come OF the two old people that were born at
the same moment and died within ten minutes
OF each other. at the advanced age of 104? Amt
they dying this season ?'
Not that I've heard Of" reiOined the eX-
change editor, pruning down long article on
boy who was cut in half lengthwise by steam
grlndstone, and whose recovery was confidently
anticipated by the eminent local physicians
Il hope they haven't quit the business" OBJ
served the one-eyed man with anxiety 1--WE
Kind O warmed up to those two old chumps
1here was something unanimous about 'em that
caught me, ana count on getting up to em
regularly If L am going to keep my health May
De the backward season has been against 'em.
what's the news about the skeleton found in the
Tree with a bag OF money tied to his spine
Let see. he's spring product. isn't he:"
mo, fall, replied the editor, glazing over a
report OF man who had just been relieved of
live lizard that had fed on his kidneys for forty
years. He'll come around about the Sd of
October"
Just So Just so. l was msled on him. He's
an old friend of mine seems like one of the fam
lily, and if they should go over his season with
out finding him, appears as though should
commence to pine. Is there anything new this
spring; any servant girls making Greek poetry
III their sleep; any live frogs found concealed in
a. Philadelphia brick. and springing eight feet in
the air after an Imprisonment of is, 600 years
Anything of that sort %
Nothing" sighed the exchange editor. put
ting sub-heads into an account of whale climb
Ing to the top of Absecom lighthouse to borrow
match. Nothing fresh, except this one about
the payment of a church mortgage out in Wis
c2nsin but they won't be popular among the
Christians"
II suppose not; suppose not, - murmured the
one-eyed man. "Weli I'm much obliged. So
long! 1t warns me up to see the old ones come
around. man of my age would miss em if
they let up, and | began to be little ticklish
about the serpent and the skeleton until you ex-
planned the date
And as he went out the exchange editor
turned over an article on an old woman Of
ninety who was cutting her eighth set of false
teeth and fourth head of hair.