Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-12-16
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
WHAT THE HUMOROUS PAPERS HAVE
To SAY THIS WEEK.
The Bad B0y-Wcddcd Iliiss-The Lime
Kiln Club-Allspice.
Welded BLISS.
i" | am going fishing"

Welded BLISS.
81 am going fishing"
The August sun was beating down in
pitiless fury upon the brown bosom of
the parched earth, and up from the
meadows that lay TO the westward Of
Dapplevale the hum. of insects and the
noisy notes of the grasshoppers came
with wonderful distinctness to Bervl
McCloskey. as she stood in the doorway
of modest little cottage over whose
front the honeysuclles and morning
glolies were climbing, their vivid hues
bringing ont in all its beauty the pale
glow of the girls complexion, while the
little shafts of sunlight that found theis
way here and there through the viner
overhead were not more rich in coloring
than the mass of golden hair that fell
over Beryl's shoulders.
They had been married nearly week
Beryl and George W. Simpson-and rs
the girl nestled close to her husband she
felt an unspeakabe Joy, Il sense of sweet
content that could never fade away or
die so long rs he was by her side, his
strong arm around her corset And vet
on this Sunday afternoon little feeling
OF Disappointment sort of I-am-nOt-
as-happy-as Twas a-week ago Saturday
sensation--had thrilled her soul for an
instant rs the man whom she had vowed
to love, honor, and possibly break. spoke
the words with which this chapter opens.
| had been hoping yOu would go with
me to Sunday school this afternoon,
darling, Beryl said "You are such
favorite with he children and can
manage them so we'll "
Yes, he replied, that is very true,
sweetheart; but l am also unusually
handy with a fish pole, and you know
the fish bite best on Sunday.
do they?" she asked, looking mp to
him with her pure young face. 4" How
flnny?"
Z" 1t is, indeed, ludicrous," George re-
piled, speaking with grave tenderness
that showed what lovely liar he was,
"but we cannot fathom the mysterious
laws of nature. We can only accept
them.
Suddenly George changed the subject
of conversation. :" shall come through
the village ON my way home" he said.
" Is there anything | can get for you -
and he stopped and kissed the rosebud
mouth of the one woman in the world
who had ever won his love.
The little head fcll on his shoulder.
There was long. sweet pause, AMI then
Beryl. rs ii fearful that the ecstasy which
was thrilling through her would suddenly
change to pain if she dared look up or
move, said softly:
"Caramels
That was all. No need Of explanation
between them. and. rs George W.
Simpson walked swiftly away with
light heart and pocket full of bait, he
felt the one cloud in the rose tinted
horizon of his life was liable to stay
there. Chicago Tribmc
THE BAD 10Y AT BREAKFAST.
Yes" said the boy, with vacant look.
Il take no interest in the pleasure of the
chase any more, though did have n lit
tie quiet fun nj the breakfast table. You
see, pa IS the contraicst man ever was. II
| complain that anything nj The table
don't taste good. pa says that ii Is all
right This morning | took the syrup
pitcher and emptied ont the white syrup
and put in some cod-liver oil that ma is
taking for her cough. put some on my
pancakes, and pretended to taste OF ii,
and | told pa the syrup was sour, and not
fit to eat. Pa was mad IN a second aud
he poured out some ON his pancakes and
said l was getting too conf0unded partic
ular. He said the syrup was good
enough for him, and he sopped his pan
cakes III it and fired some down his neck.
He is gaul burned hypocritc-thats
what he is. / could see by his face that
the cod-liver oil was near killing him,
but he said the syrup was all right. and
if | didn't eat mine he'd break my neck:
and by gosh | had to eat ii. and pa
he guessed he hadn't much appetite and
he would just drink a cup of coffee and
eat donut. like to dide, and that |
think makes this Disappointment i'll love
harder to bear. But felt sorry for ma.
Ma amt got q very strong stummlsh, and
when she got some of that cod-liyer oil
in her mouth she went up stairs sickern
horse, and pa had to help her, and she
had nooralgia all morning. / eat pickles
to take the taste ont of my mouth and
then | laid for the hired girls. They eat
too much syrup, anyway, and when they
got on to that cod liver oil and swallowed
lot Of it, one of them an nirish girl, she
got up and put her hand on her corset
aud said 'howlv Moses : and went out
into the kitchen looking as pale rs ma
does when she has powder on her face,
and the other girl, who is Dutch, she
swallowed n pancake and said Mine
Gott, watts de matter nit me- and she
went out and leaned on the coal hin.
Then they talked Irish and Dutch, and
got clubs ard started to look for Inc, and
l thought | would come over here. The
whole family is sick, hut not from love,
Ike my illness, and they will get over it.
while / shall fill an early grave; but rot
till have made that girl and the tele-
graph messenger wish they were dead.
Pa and are going to Chicago next week,
and I'll bet we'll have some fun PA saws
| need change of air, and | think he is
going to try to lose me. It's cold day
when / get left anywhere that ] can't find
my way back. Well, good bye, old po-
tatoes. "-Peck's San.
| ANOTHER LIE NAILED.
The Librarian of the Lime-kiln Club,
the Detroit Free Press says arose to q
question of privilege He said that he
understood that certain members of the
club had charged him with nepotism in
working one of his sons into soft spot
in the club library and another into an
equally soft situation in the museum.