Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-07-21
ALL SORTS.

him.
A blunder-buss- kissing the wrong
girl.
A product of the dancing school
Hops.
A cheerful face is the sunlight of the
household
Bond-robbery- Stealing marriage
certificate.
Dangerous associates Those who are
dressed to kill.
A successful debater-The hornet al
ways carries his point.
The life-preservers oftenest used in
the battle-feld-Legs.
Long absence makes the heart grow
| fonder-of some one else.
A nd-dollar-education on a
five-dollar boy is money thrown away.
If mans aim in this world be good.
the chances are that he will miss fire
in the next.
When was the most beef-tea madep
When Henry the Eighth dissolved the>
Pope's bull.
What is the difference between an
editor and wife? One sets articles to
set. vines ai''''es 70
The art of talking to any one with
whom you are secretly in love is in
cluded in the power of making repair
tees.
They have at Portland, Me-, what is
called widows Wood Society,"
Who ever heard of a widow that
wouldn't?
Mrs. Yell cowhided Mr.. Lay for not
performing promise to marry her.
AS he wouldn't make her Lay, she made
him yell.
A tombstone in Maine, erected to the
memory of wife, bears the inscrip-
ton: Tears can not restore her, there
fore l weep"
An lrishman, writing sketch of his
life, says he early ran away from his
father, because he discovered he was
only his uncle.
Irritation of the throat is the way
in which Yorkshire, eng. doctor de-
scribed in his certificate case of sui
eide with a razor.
GA fellow must sow his wild oats,
you know" exclaimed the adolescent
John. Eyes replied Annie; ''but one
shouldn't begin sowing SO soon after
grading"
Anything pite you darep" inquired
one Dutchman of another, while en-
gagged in angling. mo, nothing at
all. ''Veli!' returned the other,
noting pite me too"
''Let's Illustrate it," hiccoughed DO
litical orator. ''It's beautiful. You
see, an old farmer comes to town load
ed with new wheat, an he goes home
loaded with old rye"
A witness being Intercepted as to
his knowledge of the defendant in the
case, siad he knew him intimately-..h
had supped with him, sailed with him,
and horsewhipped him."
''You are as full of airs as music
box, is what young man said to a
girl who refused to let him see her
home. That may be, :" was the reply,
"but don't 60 with crank
Hannah" said landlady to her
servant, ''when there's any bad news
always let the boarders know it before
dinner. Such little things make great
difference in the course of year.
An Ohio woman ran pin into her
foot and said, "Cuss itn' Her husband
Immediately left the house and has N
been seen since. Such language fr6 y
woman was too much for him. 1t
was interfering with his prerogatives of
profanity.
A facetious fellow having unwittlngly
offended conceited puppy, the latter
tod him ne was mo gentleman"
Are you gentleman" asked the
droll one. Eyes, sir, bounced the fop.
''Ihen l am very glad am not" re-
piled the other.
An intelligent lady asked sculptor
who was about completing the figure of
lamb; ''Did you cut out that animalp''
y'Oh, no. said the artist, ''the animal
has been there all the time; / only
took the marble from around him
that's ALL
That was a wise little theologian on
the Pacific coast, who voiced the bitter
cry of humanity in her evening PRAYER
the other night After the Now | Law
me down to Sleep she added the peti-
ton, in most fervent tone, land now.
O God, if you can, catch the devil and
kill him.
An Irishman took Yankee friend to
church with him on Christmas day.
The music was magnificent and the dec
orations gorgeous. On their way out
he asked the Yankee how he liked it.
why it beat the devilr' said the )
down-easter. That's the intintion,''
dryly remarked the gentleman from
Tiperary.
The following statement concerning
the preparation of figs for market will
be of interest to lovers of that tropical
fruit: 1.-The figs are stepped in salted
water and placed in heaps on mats laid
on the pavement of the court. Around
these mats barefoot women from the
country collect and manipulate each
fig with their fingers. These women
are accompanied by their children, also
barefoot, and greatly in need of good
Washing. and occasionally. In their