The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-07-27
AFTER HIS WATERPROOF.

''My dear said Mr. Spoopen,l. aa. pulling the
shains of the bed, ''wl ere is Iny-my where is
my-you know what mean. What did you do
with it!r
.-Your shawl-strap p asked Mrs. Spoopeudyke.
dropping the baby intp hr crib "0h, / know :
your dumb-belis. Is that what you want r.
HAS that shawi-strap got sleeves 10 il y
demanded Mr.. SpooPcndyke. ransaeking the sew
ing machine. Are those duInb-bells split up
the back and torn down the collar: You know
what want, my rubher overcnat. Wherr did
you put il! and Mr.. SPoopendyke pulled 4 pile
of Letters ont of the piseon-holc Ia his wife's
desk, SKI and scattered them along the floor.
spoopendyke, with her finger in her month aud
CONSERVATION in her eye.
Had it on growled Mr. Spoopendyke
.sWhere'd You s'pose had it Think | had it
for a luncht Don't you know where the measly
Take your finger out Of your mouth: I don't
suppose it's in therei Get that coat before il
clears, up will ye 7" and Mr.. Spoopendyke shook
the clock. and then peered into the mantle vases.
II don't believe it is going to rain much, any
way faltered Mrs. Spoopendyke, who couldn't
remember of having seen the coat for n month
.'When il looks like this it's always going to
sunshine" and she followed him around the
room in fintter of apprehension.
..Of course il is.r snorted Mr.. sPoOpendyke.
"Things are going to do Just what you tell EN-
to. II yon had lot of tin figures in front and
Q streak of mercury up your spine, You would
only need a sheet-iron case and wire handle to
be a barometer! If you'll look along your meas
ly information about the weather, p'raps You'll
find that oyercoot ut the other end of il I,
Where's that coat! Going TO let me stand here
aud soak while the moths picnic that coat into
Q shad net Take me by the elbow and lead me
to the eoatT aud Mr.. Spoopendyke tipped the
sofa over so he could 50 under it, and then slap
ped plaster bust of Minerva against the wall,
under the impression that the coat might have
crawled into her ear.
Its the strangest thing in the world" gig
gled Mrs spoopendyke, Historically. Are you
sure you wore il homes'
eff didn't, how'd it get home p roared Mr..
Speopendyke, putting his hands on his knees,
and grnning in his wife's face 'S'pOse il hired
a hack and drove homei Oh, no, / didn't
wear it home. The last saw of it, it had its
hat over its ear and a female waterproof on its
| arm piking up Fulton Street as happy an
| alderman's funeral! whatre you standing
there fort Got some indistinct notion that the
dod gasted coat has gone to get shaved, haven't
YET Who'd We give it to! Been endowing a
| netaphy chair in some kind of an old wO-
mems home with it, haven't yel Where's the
| coat DevelOpe the coat before | vitiate the
insurance" and Mr.. Spoorendyke kicked his
wife's work basket across til" room, and rammed
his arms to the shoulder up the chimney.
"Do you remember where you it last =
| asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, suddenly becoming
| calm and ANALYTICAL.
81 wore it on my back protested Mr. Spoop-
endyke, who didn't remember whether he had
taken it to church or to a hospital. maybe
you're under the impression that | tied it to a
| stick and wheeled it along on the buttons! On
my back, tell We, On this particular back
and Mr.. Spoopendyke almost broke his arm
pointing out tue attraction referred to. "MOst
| folks fit up their rubber oyercoats with a bent
wire and a focus, and wear them for spectacles,
but hadn't time; i wore it ON my back!
Bring forth the coatr' yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke
spinning around like top. Fetch out the
measly coat, before the proprietor of these prem
| ises makes up his mind whether he'll build \
| new house here or mortgage the lot.
''You wore il the last day il rained and when
it cleared of in the afternoon, noticed that You
had on your spring overcoat," said Mrs. SpoOp-
endyke, quietly.
"GTeat headr' grunted Mr.. SpoOpendyke, be-
| ginning to feel uncomfortable, and wondering
how it was coming out. "With your preeeptivr
| faculties aud meteorological education, you only
| need one more leg and clear night to he a dOd
| gasted street telephone at ten cents n peep!
What of III Spose did wear spring over
| coat! It's spring, amt it!'
'And don't know continued Mrs. SpoOpen-
dyke, ''but think you had it on over your wa.
ter-proof IL you'll look, you may find tho rub
Der coat inside of the other now"
| Mr.. Spoopendyke growled and snOrted his way
to the closet like fog horn, and found things
as his wife had predicted
| ''Smart, amt ye :" he gIunibied, as he hauled
| out the waterproof, 'Great powers of Undue
| tive reasoning! Some day I'm going TO fit you
up with a stiff neck and pot of beans, and start
Concord school of philosophy with you"
And with this threat, Mr. Spoopendyke threw
| the coat over his arm, and all the way to COney
Island entertained his friend Specklewuttle with
a description of his habits of order, (Which are
so perfect, sir, that eOnld put my thumb "H
anything wanted, sir-:f by wife would only
| let things alone"