davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1882-08-11
SIZE WOULD BE 4 MASON.

,r,,, funniest thing ever beard,
n. Lh. ,,mmi,ie,t thing that ever occurred,
in,,s .,nry II Mrs. M'nltabic fyrdc,
e" 'N who wanted to b. Il Mason.
,,., husband. Tom Byrde. Mason truo--
AZ ,noL Mason M ally OF you;
a. ~ ,ylrr nf Icdg" Crrulcan Blue,
~ NJ ,yirs and deliN,rs the TllmulOns due,
ANY jo wanted to lc Mason, too,
Anu This ridiculous Mrs. DyIde.
,,., ,,u,vcL round, this inQuisitiyc wife,
Sn S narvcd him aud traSrd him haf ont OF his life
SSt, GU, ,nripinatr this unhnnwcd strife,
% He cunsentcd At last to admit her
,,, srst tn disguise her from bonnet aud shoon,
TIL. ridirulous lady agreed to put on
va hreecl-sh! forgive me. meant pantalOons;
ii'' And miraculously did they fit her.
THE lodge wa. at work on tho Masters degree,
rhe light was abaL" on the letter c;
i,igh snarcd the pillars and B.
M, officers sat ike solomon, wise;
Thr br.mstnnc burned amid horrd cries;
The poat roanled wildly through :hc room;
Thr candidate begged them to let him go home;
And the devil himself stood mp at the east,
A, broad az an alderman at u feast,
Wheh in came Mrs. Byrde.
oh horrible sounds. oh, horrible sight,
Can IL be that Masons take delight
In snending ihus the hours Of night!
An could their wives and daughters know
The unuttorabe things they say and do,
,rheir feminine hearts Won burs. with voc!
But this is not all my story.
Those Masons ioined In hdeous ring,
-rhr candidates howling like everything,
And thus IN tones of death they sing
CThe candidates name was MOreyG
aD'ood to drink and bones to crack,
skulls to smash and lives to take,
Hearts to crush and souls to burn,
Give old Morry another turn,
And make him grim and CORY"
Trembling with horror stood Mrs. Dyrdc,
Unable Ia speak single word.
She staggered and fell In tb nearest chair
ON the left Of the junior warden thcr,
And n,urcely noticed, sO loud the grUana,
TThut the chair was made Of human bones.
O, human bones On grnning skulls
That uhaatly throne Of horror rolls.
Thu,c skulls, the skulls that Morgan tore;
Those bones, tue bones that Morgan wore.
His scalp acroas the top was hung,
Ills teeth around the arms were strung.
Never IN al romance was Known
Such uscs nladu Uf human bone.
There came a pausc-a pair Of paws
Reached through the floor, up sliding DOORS
And grabbed the unhappy candidate!
How can |, without tears, relate
The lost and ruined MOrey's fa.c3
She saw him sink In hrry hoe,
She heard him scream, my SOUL My s0ulI"
While roars Of fcndish laughter roll,
And drown the yell. for mercy,
"Dood to drink, etc, etc.
The ridiculous woman could stand no more,
She tainted and fell on tho chcckeTed 6Oor,
'MidAt all tho diabolicai roar.
wha, tlcn, you ask me, did befal
M.htaUIe Dyrdc? Why, NOTHING at all
She dreamed she had Occu IN q ilasOn's hall
, 1882-08-11
NOTICE..

PoRr townsend, August 2, 1882.
| hav" this day sold my fruit and
variety store to McSsrs. Plunlmer ~
Terry who will conduct the business
hereafter, and for whom | request Il
continuance Of my patronage.
All persons having bills against
me will please present them for pay
mcnt; and all persons indebted tome
are requested to call and settle
o. II. HoLCownr.
, 1882-08-11

NoTICE.-On and after this date we
VIII deliver our lt ods to all parts of the
city, free Of charge.
G. G. ART EFT & co.
July %, 1SS2.
, 1882-08-11
A RARE CHANCE

Claws FILED ON SHORT NOTICE.
= AMI m fr~t-clu-5 style. hy ..
Port Townsend. NEWELL GEERl~ll
, 1882-08-11
For Sale.
In South Port Townsend.

II BLOCKS 1872 LOTS, 45xl20 FEET
This property is eligibly located of
IA mile south of the furnace at Irondale;
it corners on tide water. Plat nearly
level; timber partially removed and be-
ingremoved. Good water obtained any
where at depth of NboNt II feet
Title Perfect; Terms Reasonable.
The above lots will I've offered for sale
cheapfor cash. Apply to
JAMES JONES,
Port Townsend,
Or Charles Case, Seattle.
June -, 1882. 3m.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02


owners OF the property insured; and that the
sum allowed by the United States Govern
ment under the act Of 1874 was gift, the
sum not having been recoverable except I'M
der a special law, which expressly excluded
the underwriters from all participation In its
benefits.
Admiral Nicholson, who commands the
American feet at Alexandra, is a man
rather below the medium height and Of
spare and wiry frame. He wears long
sandy beard, and his bright sharp eyes look
from under bushy eyebrows. His face mas
that peculiar appearance frequently seen In
men who have lived most OF their nVes on
the water, being scanned and crossed All over
by minute wrinkles, as il the traelngs OF tne
charts he has so often studied mad Deen
transferred to his countenance. The Adml-
raj has the faculty Of preserving his
imperturbability under all ciTcum-
stances. At dinner on his flagship. the
Lancaster, one day, just previous to
his departure for the Mediterranean last
fall, waiter, newly shipped, went to IN
cork a champagne bottle. He cut the
strings, holding the head of the bottle to-
ward the Admiral. The cork flew out with
a loud 'pop" and q fountain OF wine
spurted over the dignifed commander of
the Mediterranean feet. The waiter was
pctIlu6u VIII ulSudyy anu bJoOQ lOlQlDR
the bottle turned full upon his victim TIL
one Of the Admiral's staff told the man to
turn around, which he did, distributing
what was left of the wine impartially over
the rest OF the company. The Admiral did
not move a muscle.
One or two refugees who had been given
up for dead seem to have emerged unhsrm-
ed from the ruins of Alexandria, and others
will probably follow now that the city is
again secure. Such escapes are not unfre-
quent in the East, thanks to the under
ground chambers that abound in all Orien-
tai cities, In which any one may exist for
days II provided with food and water. Dur
ing the great fire Of 1870 at Colstsntinople
these subterranean rooms were common
place Ofrefuge, with very ludicrous result
in one particular case. The sailors told off
to clear away the ruins around the Brit
ish Embassy at Pera heard cries for
help issuing from the remains of q
small Turkish house, and, remov-
ing the rubbish, found and lifted a trap
door, Instantly a man sprang out, who
darted of with such speed that no one could
see which way he went. The master of the
house and his family followed, all profess
ing utter ignorance as to who this nimble
gentleman could be. He atterward proved
to be a thief who had been rlflng the house
when the flames encircled It, and finding his
retreat cut off, had made at once for the
underground room. Here, to his unspeak-
able dismaY, he was speedily Joined by the
whole household, and remained shut up
with this subterranean family party for six
teen hours. His eagerness to escape under
such circumstances was natural enough
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Says the Philadelphia Press: Gas to
Southern recuperatiOn. every sensible
and patriotic man is glad of it, and is
anxious to see it more abundantly. But
when Southern papers speak boashngly
in this matter, such of them as are can
did are quite ready to acknowledge their
Indebtedness to Northern capital, energy
and foresight" That may be, but we
have never yet known Northern capital
to be invested in the South or elsewhere
unless the investor expected return on
it of anywhere from seven to twelve
per cent. If Philadelphia has within
her limits any disinterested capitalist
who is willing to spend his money in the
South just for the love of the thing, let
him be known. He could command a
big sum from Barnum, for he would be
a greater curiosity than Jumbo.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Advertisements for situations under
the government are quite common in the
Washington papers, the advertisers offer
ing a commission on their salaries to any
one who win get them appointments.
Wbereupon the Philadelphia Ledger in
ouires: "Why not apply to Mr.. Jay A.
Hubbell direct2 The difference between
voluntary contributions paid to
keen Office and voluntary contribu-
tons 70 get Office is so Insignificant
that no attorney or party editor would
ind any difficulty in indorsing the one
method of getting money after approx
bg tbe other. Itwould simplify matters,
TOO. if instead Of fixing the rates for
Voluntary contributions the offices were
But up to the highest bidder, the chair
nan of the campaign committee reserV-
III the right to reject all bids that did
sol come from bidders of the required
Nlitical faith.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The total value of i'm ports into this
country for the eleven months ending
with the 31st of May last was 1861, 954,
8O2. against 1888, 743, s19 for the previous
twelve months. The total value of ex-
ports for the corresponding eleven
months were $6S3, 500, 1928, against
1921 GAS, $50. The total export of gold
coin for the twelve months ending June,
1891, was 4,226s944. The export of
gold for the month of May, 1882, alone
was $14, 4S2, 904, and over $50, 900, 600
for the ten months preceding. By put
ting the large increase in the exports of
merchandise against the large falling off
IN exports, it is not difficult to ac-
count for the considerable draft on us
for coin. 1t affords some consolation,
however, to know that the big crops of
wheat and other cereals will go forward
to answer the demand from Europe, and
probably set gold to flowing again in this
direction.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Crop reports from Texas are of the
most rose cOlored character. 1t is an
nounced that the small grain and the hay
crops are all made and harvested, while
the fruit yield is so abundant that the
fruit cannot all be gathered, but much of
It is allowed to rot on the ground. The
corn crop is very large, the average yield
being fifty bushels to the acre, while
some farmers report seventy. Cotton,
too, is in splendid condition, and picking
will begin in about two weeks. Evi-
IDENTIFY the Texas farmers will be able to
board at home next year, and the West
will have to seek another market for its
products. This is genuine independence,
and it is to be hoped that it will not be
long before the whole South will be in
the same happy condition. Texas, it
must be remembered, is the banner
Democratic State of the South, but its
farmers give practical evidence of the
fact that good crops pay better than poll
tics
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

On Monday next the people of Ala
bama elect State officers, one-half of the
members of the State Senate, and the
full House of Representatives. The
Legislature thus chosen will elect a
United States Senator in place of Gen.
John 7. Morgan. The Legislature last
chosen was practically unanimously
Democratic, there being one hundred
and twenty seven Democratic members
and only six of other parties. For Gov
ernor, the Democrats have nominated
Gen. Edward A. ONeal. To him is OPP
posed James L. Sheffield, who was nomi-
mated by fusion convention made up
of Republicans, Independents and Green
hackers. The vote of the State for Presi-
dent in 1880 was; Garfield, 56221;
Hancock, 81, 1856; Weaver, 4.642. Rep
resentatives in Congress will be chosen
in November.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The importation of iron for the first
SIX months of 1882 amounted to 64O.97
tons. This amount exceeded the impor-
tation during the first six months Of 1881
by 1O7 900 tons. During April, May and
June last forty-twO bituminOus and an
tbracite furnaces in this country went
out of blast. The tariff on pig iron is
seven dollars a ton, equivalent at present
prices. to about 335 per cent. of the
price. Whereupon the Philadelphia
Record pertinently remarks: IF after
these many years of protection this
infant industry cannot compete with
English and Scotch furnaces, is there
any reason to expect that it ever will be
able TO stand alone Or is it not the
fact that importation increases and native
manufacturers blow out their furnaces
because protection does not protect 2"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Commenting on the political status in
the South, the New York World men
tions two very significant facts: First,
that the Independent party that was at
one time forming in almost every State
has now no separate existence anywhere.
In the few States where it even pretends
to have life it has formed an open cOali-
ton with the Republican party. Sc
cond, that the Democrats of the South
are unanimous in their demands for the
abolition of the internal revenue tax 1t
notes that no convention of importance
has met this year which has not included
this demand in its resolutions, and
Democratic candidates for Congress have
already begun to insist upon it with
great emphasis in stump speeches.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

A correspondent who is familiar with
te match industry in this country gives
0an exchange some pertinent infOrma-
,stion showing the effect of the tax and
be reason the manufacturers have been
sing all their influence to have it re-
lined Large purchasers of stamps OBJ
in them at q discount Of from five to
"a per cent, and are allowed sixty days
(which 10 make payment. These who
euuable to get more than fifty dollars at
ece must pay cash and in full. On
isrv cross of boxes of matches the price
lb 10 of which the tax is 81 A. The
1iBg nriee of IA boxes of matches,
kof is therefore GO cents. and the
Gehasers must pay in addition tax of
Aper cent The abolition of the tax
@ld not only reduce the price OF
etches in proportion to the tax, but
esiderably more, as it would permit
seomuetition of small manufacturers.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The Norfolk landmark makes an ex-
celent suggestion as a basis for new
law concerning dueling. 1t advocates
the passage of an act of the Assembly
commanding the Sheriff to conduct each
fight at short range, and to keep it up
until there is a funeral. Such a law, it
thinks, would speedily tend to make
dueling unpopular.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

& Is it not almost time for some fair
trade parties to advocate their principles
before the Tariff Commission? The
prOtectionists have been enjoying mo-
nOpOly Of that business so far. How
would it do for a delegation of Southern
farmers to appear before that body and
show the commission how grievOuslY
protection Expresses the agricultural
classes3
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The Radicals of Georgia, in convention
assembled in Atlanta, yesterday decided
to sit with closed doors and to rigidly
exclude the press. The excuse for this
is that disturbances in previous conven-
tons have been held up to ridicule by
the newspapers. From this it is reason.
able TO infer that the brethren are not
living together in harmony, and that
disturbance at this convention also is
spficinafed
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

We see that the imports of foreign
merchandise into the port of New York
continue on a very liberal scale. The
total for the past week was SO, 738, 47S,
of which 81, 1892, 900 represented general
merchandise and the remainder dry
goods. Since January LIST the imports
aggregate 1924. 40. Isl. compared with
$246. 7S4. 727 for the same time in 1881.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Mr.. Arthurs nerve and pluck in We
toing the river and harbor swindle
might well be'applauded, if he had not
signed the pension fraud. 1t has been
well suggested that list of the pension
ers on the government be published, so
that the public may see exactly how
much they are imposed upon under the
pretext of providing for its soldiers and
their families.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The telegraph announces that Boston's
champion bruiser, Sullivan, was fined
last Saturday for drunkenness and using
Dad language Clearly he has not yet
recovered from the disappointment he
received in his late glove contest with
Tug.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Calling guns have rivals now in rapid
shooting military rifles with skilled
marksmen to handle them. In recent
match atCreedmoor on the two hundred
yard range one of the competitors fired
nineteen shots in one minute, and with
sufficient accuracy to make considerably
more than half of perfect score.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Arab Bey calls it loot" Brady calls
II ginger" Hubben calls it political
assessment" Robson calls it navy
construction" and Congress calls it
river and harbOr improvement. The
world at large, however, still calls it
Stealing"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

England's reply to the Canadian Par
liaments suggestions about the manage
ment of Irish affairs, "It's none of your
business, was to have been expected ;
but the fact remains, nevertheless, that
Ireland will never be fairly governed
until she has home rule, at least as free
as that of Canada.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Hale, of Maine, defends the monitors
on the ground that they were Quilt
rom the bottom" 1t is the fear that
they viii go to the bottom that induces
hesitation to put several more millions
into them.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

1t now turns out that Sir. A. Thomas,
to whom FOlger's assessment dispense
ton was issued, is a mythical parsonage
No such individual is borne on the
Treasury roll. He is evidently a po-
litical Mrs. Harris, while FOlger has
been playing the role of Sairey Camp. 1t
is also said that Brewster arose to the Oc-
casiOn in his recent Hubbell opinion by
the aid of something warmer than ice
water.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The Princess Louise is badly fright
ened. She will not go about in the
Dominion of Canada without a body
guard, because somebody told her that
the American Fenians intended to kid
nap her. She is afraid the Fenians will,
if they catch her, hold her for a heavy
ransom-nO less than the liberation of
Ireland. But suppose they do kidnap
her, where viii they keep her until the
arrangements can be completed 2
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

Reports about Egyptian affairs are so
numerous and conflicting that it is hard
to get at the bottom facts. Nevertheless,
if it be true that Russia intends to aban-
don her passive policy and assume a
position of active hostility to England's
pretensions in Egypt, the Gladstone
government will find itself involved in
graver complications than it has yet an
ticipated.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The hot wave may have caused con
siderable death in its path, but it has
certainly conferred one inestimable boon
upon the cOuntry-it has forced Con
gress to decide upon a speedy adjourn
ment.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02
WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 2. 1sse

The Republican Convention, now in
session in Atlanta, have decided to
conduct operations in secret. There will
oe some dark dOings there to-day, GER
tain.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02

The Baltimore Day dominates De
Lesseps for Khedive. 1T looks very
much as if the distinguished Frenchman
was engineering for that position in case
AIabi Bey's rebellion succeeds
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02
JUNIORS

The cause Of most human Ills, and curing when
physicians, hospitals and all other methods
and remedies fail Scrofula or Kings Evil
9landular Swellings, Ulcers, Old Sores Milk
Leg, Mercurial Affections, Erysipelas, Tumors
Assesses, Carbuncles, Boils Blood Poisons
br1ghts Disease, Wasting Of the Kidnevs and
Liver, rheumatism. Constipation, Piles Dvs-
pepsia, and all Itching and Scaly
-ERUPTIONS
OF the Skin and Scalp-such as Salt Rheum.
Psoriasis, letter, Ringworm, BARRIERS Itch
Scald Head, Itching Piles, and other Disguring
and Iorturing Humors, from a pimple TO q
scrofulitic ulcer, when assisted by Cuticura and
Cuticura Soap, the great Skin Cures.
-CUTICURA-
A sweet, Interchangeable Medicinal Jelly, clears
on all external evidence Of Blood Humor, eats
away Dead Skin and Flesh, instantly allays
ltchings and Lrritations, Softens, Soothes and
Heals Worth its weight in gold for all Itch
ing Diseases.
-CUTICURA SOAP
An Exquisite Toilet, Bath and Nursery Sana-
tive. Fragrant with delicious flower odors and
healing balsam. Contains in modified form
all the virtues CT Cuticura, the great Skin Cure,
and is il Indispensable in the treatment of Skin
and Scalp Diseases, and for restoring, preserv-
ing and Identifying the complexion and skin.
The only Medicinal Baby Soap.
CUTICURA REMEDIES are the only real
curatives for diseases Of the Skin Scalp and
Blood
Price: Cuticura Resolvent. 81 per bottle; Gu
ticura Soc per box; large boxes, 81; Cuticura
Medicinal Toilet Soap 25c.; Cuticura Medicinal
Shaving Soap, 15c. Sold everywhere Princi-
pal Depot, WEEKS & POTTER, Boston.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02
gust.
LpttErg.

n HE Drawing of the Louisiana State Lot
} terry viii take place TUESDAY, August
s. 1882. Whole Tickets IS, Fifths ST.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02
fursale.

ENOR SALE.-Just received. SEQ boxes NJ
II MESSINA LEMONS which offer for sale
at s. 90 per box. CHAS. ANDERSON
Corner Bryan and Jefferson streets
Savannah 10
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02
aBautea.

WAN TED, white wet nurga -
w West Broad street. SC Apply at a.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-02
for 8eut.

TO RENT. from LIST Of Octots next, the bau
i and third floor Of St. Andrews Hall eor
ner Jefferson and Broughton streets win
make fine stand for jobbing trade. or for
clubs, concerts, etc. By ISAAC d. LAROCHF
16S Bay street
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-07-31

The water plugs of the Pennsylvania
railroad at Glen Loeb and below the latter
place some distance, which have not
been serviceable for somo time, are again
in order.
A picked nine from Columbia will play
a Mount Joy baseball club game OF
ball on Wednesday afternoon at the latter
place.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-07-31
THE WAR IN EGYPT,

Report Of EarrlsOn's SurrontleP-Arabl'
Determined Movements.
ALEXANDRIA, July 31.-An unconarmed
report prevails that the garrison of Abou
kir has surrendered to tho British.
Arabi's Bold Manifesto.
A traveller who has just arrived bere
from Stout reports that Arsa Pacha has
issued manifesto, declaring that the
Khcdive Tewfik had sold Egypt to Eng.
laud and had retired to England: Arab
therefore ordered the people to obey until
the prophet has enlightened him TO find a
worthier khedive.
Prompt Pr0ceo6ings.
The governor of the town of Minicb,
1876 miles southwest of Cairo, epdeavored
to resist the attempt of Arab Pacha, to
interrupt railway communication. but was
sent to Cairo and jailed in the citadel.
Six Mudirs of Upper Egypt have been Or
dered to supply five hundred horses and
six hundred and fifty camels to the forces
of Arab Pacha.
SOme Europeans Stin There.
Fifty Europeans from towns in Upper
Egypt still remain at Stout
The French directors Of the Atfeh and
Cairo water works are retained at their
posts under guard.
Murders Still Committed.
Murders are constantly occurring in the
railway trains. The mob search every
train for Christians.