The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-01-14
Wanted-A Girl.

81 desire to advertise for girl to do
general Homework" said a Laramie
lady to the manager of an intelligence
office. II have had some little trouble
and annoyance during the past year,
and would like, if l could, to get good
girl who differs in many respects with
those have been wrestling with. Last
fall heard of good girl who was
working for a neighbor of mine, and
went to work Systematically to get her.
found afterward that it was a put-up
Job on me, and the neighbor wanted me
to get the girl more out of revenge than
anything else. The girls name was
Cleopatra. She wanted twenty-seven
dollars per month and the use of the
piano. | was so sure that she was a
good girl that l engaged her on that lay
out. Cleopatra had so many lovers that
we had to move the sofa into the kitchen
on Sundays, and my husband and my
self sat around on the floor, while Cleo
patra wooed the festive mule puncher.
We wanted to throw all the home influ-
ences we could around Cleopatra, so
that she would feel perfectly cheerful
and like one of the family. She used to
wear my dresses when was away, but
when / asked her to let me wear her
wardrobe she seemed hurt, and her
whole system was churned up with con-
vulsive sobs. BY and by my dresses got
kind of shabby, as the result of contin-
uous wear by Cleopatra and myself, and
SO she got discontinued and went away.
Then | got nice girl from Nebraska;
but lust as she had learned to make pie
| hot 10 ha inf
ences of time she married a man from
Bitter Creek, who was so cross-eyed that,
when he wept, the scalding tears would
roll down the back of his neck. | then
secured girl from the old country. She
couldn't speak the English language flu
emily, and so didn't have a very So
ciable time of it! When l would tell her
to wash the dishes she would generally
black the stove or bring in a scuttle of
coal. | used to pour out my soul to her
sometimes and ask her to confde in me,
but she had PARKWAY look, like a man
who cannot pay his board-bill. One day
at dinner | asked her to bring in the
dessert, but she didn't grasp my mean
ing, and through some oversight brought
in the dish-rag on tray She used to
wash the children S faces with the stove
rag, and brush their hair with the shoe
brush, and in that way soon won their
esteem and regard. One day while we
were at table she brought in the soup,
and in an unguarded moment she stuck
about seven inches of her thumb in the
hot soup, in order to get a more
secure grip on the tureen. In
the first impulse of coy and
maidenly surprise she thought
lesly dropped the tureen and the soup in
my husbands lap. My husband is a shy
and rather reticent man, but he rose with
a graceful movement to his full height,
and killed her with the carving-knife,
and kicked her CORY remains under the
table. After the inquest got hollow
eyed girl from Fort Collins. She was an
orphan, with pale hair that she used to
work up in the hash. She was proud and
impulsive in her nature, and ate every
thing in the house. We used to hear her
in the middle of the night foraging
around after cold pie and fragments of
rich and expensive grub. She had
singular yearning for jam and an impas-
stoned longing for preserves that we
never succeeded in quenching. When
the jelly and fruit-cake gave out, she
would sadly turn her attention to cold
ham and mustard, with the smoldering
ruins of baked beans and cold cabbage
and vinegar. We stood it till groceries
came up so, and apples got to be seven
dollars and half barrel, and then we
asked her to send in her resignation.
Shortly after that my husband made an
assignment. What | would like now is
good girl, not SO much as companion
and confidential promoter of financial
ruin, but more to wrestle with manual
labor in the kitchen at so much per
wrestle and board. I'm not difficult to
please, but don't want to pay the same
salary that the cashier of bank gets just
for the sake of having pampered mental
in the house who doesn't do enough work
to drive away her ennui.-BiU Nye's
Boomerang.