The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1882-12-16
GRI:NS.

diamond ring, a present, when tbs
old lady dropped her spoetacles to
the end OF her nose and exclaimed !:
" Lor' sakes l thought II was :
GOOD wSSt."
A MINISTER was travelling along q
country road In Scotland ono day in
winter, riding long, lean horse,
and he himself dressed in a rather
odd'looking cap and largo camioi
cloak, when gentleman came along
riding fine horse, which scared at
the preacher and his horse. DWELL
cir" said the gentleman, "you
would scare The very devil, sir"
That's my business, SIR sald tho
preacher.
A." How DID you come TO get into
Jail" asked a gentleman OF II negro
he saw behind the bars. Dey put
me in heah TO borryi.' money from
a friend" "why, they can't do
that; it's no crime 10 borrow mon
ey." "Yes, boss, but yer see had
ter knock him down several times
before he would loan 1t ter me, an
then had ter take it ont OF hi.
pocket myself" That is whs, Hub
bell would call a voluntary contri.
button.
WHAT He WAS GETTiNa.-A n.
tailor had bRl against u young
book.kseper In a commission house.
and becoming alarmed about il,
dropped in on the firm one day to
investigate. He approached the
senior member, and asked about the
young man in question, without
very much satisfaction. As a last
resort he inquired:
What's he been getting"
" Been getting drunk the greater
part of the time for the pas. three
months" briskIy resPendcd the
head of the house
How AosEs RESENTED THE INSULT.
III say Dot vos mean man
which won't shust now Der door
oud," said Moses Fuhrnm to sriend
who had dropped into his stero.
" Why 30 7" inquired the friend.
"He insult me NIT my own
shtore."
" Well, what did he sayf"
He say dot bile of bants would
make good mlluck strainers nit a
sss'sssss'+ss ss4oaeg5jg. /" .~.,'"ss,r",
Why didn't you talk back 10
him 7"
w didn't l! Bed your poots l
did r.
What did you say T"
Vat did xsy7 | told him to
come to hell |"
SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE HE HAD THE
QUALIFICATIONS - Rcv. Mr.. f., OF
New Jersey, q gentleman of fervOnt
piety and commendable modesty,
made an afternoon call in ~ family
which consisted OF q bright little
miss OF Eve summers, and another
of some nine or ten weeks. The
stately divine WAS ushered into the
parlor. whore no found three ladies'
and the childrsa. In such company
he could do ne less than TO relax
bis dignity to the extent OF saying
: few words TO the elder daughter.
So he went on thus:
" Well, Ellen, you've now got a
little sister, think I shall take
her home with me; l suppose you
will interpose no objection r.
No answer, but a surly look met
this proposition.
You don't want your little sis.
ter; you don't love her; 50 think |
| shall take her. l may, msynt |,
Ellen Y"
Yes" said Ellen, with a scorn.
full and increculous look, "you may
take her, but you don't think you
can nuss her, do you ?"
ONE LITTLE FINAL FAvoa. - He
had meyer told his love, for their ac-
quaintance had been a very short
one and when suddenly ne put her
arms around his neck and imprint.
cd a hrge Hiss upon her rosebud
mouth she was naturally startled.
Sir /" she SAID, "this is insuffer.
able p
Forgive me !" he cried al was
mad to act thus; beseeuh you par
don me !"
No, | can never forgive you
never You have forfeited my
friendships You must leave me at
once and forever 70
Vainly be pleaded she was OBJ.