Connecticut western news., 1882-09-27
ADVERTISING RATES
WIT AND WISDOM.

lSuorance.
 IF thou would'st be borne with, bear with others.
 To GIVE pain is the tyranny, to make happy the true empire of beauty.
 IF you want enemies, excel others; if you want friends, let others excel you.
 OUR happiness in this world depends on the affections we are enabled to in- spire.
 A GOOD motto for an expressman- "Haul things to all men."-Bostom Transcript.
 No MAN ever offended his own con- science, but first or last it was revenged upon him for it.
 BETTER to be despised for too anxious apprehensions, than ruined by too con- fident security.
 THERE is no use of money equal to that of beneficence here the enjoyment grows or reflection.
 AN editor. only married short while ago, the following week printed fierce article against "bossism."
 WE do not always like people the better for paying us all the court which we ourselves think our due. a
 CONCEPT is to nature what paint is to beauty; it is not only needless, but it impairs what it would improve.
 IT IS very hard to be courteous to bad temper. It is like trying to smile while some one makes 8 pin cushion of you. ... .....
 THE houses hope builds are castles in the air. The houses of the wretched who are altogether without hope, are too dismal to live in.
 HOPE is a pleasant acquaintance, but an unsafe friend. He'll do on pinch for travelin' companion, but he is not the man for your banker. THE poet says, GA well bred dog generally bows to strangers but the revised version of the practical man has 7 it, "A we'll bred dog generally bow
 VOWS to strangers.
 CANT that dog got feasp" uneasily queried woman at 8 railway station, near whose feet dog was reaching after his spine. "I think not" said small man. ssIt looks more like the feas had got the dog"
 THERE are now about twenty.four
 hundred different diseases, and every
 year the strain on single patent medi-
 cine becomes harder and harder, yet the
 medicine stands up manfully and prom
 ises to cure them all.
 THE United States Army has become
 sadly depleted, thirty of its members
 having deserted Gin all directions" If
 thirty more should get away, the army
 will have to adjourn. for want of
 quorum. Bulletin.
 FIRST Russian Officer-Do you think
 the coronation will pass off peacefully?
 Second ditto-Think am sure it
 will. The Czar never was more popular
 than he is at this moment. Why, the
 people are ready to exalt him to the
 skies. First Officer-I know, but they
 may do it with dynamite.
 SOCIETY people who go away for the summer can count on several men, tions in the papers first, that they
 contemplate going; second, that they have gone; third, where they are and how they are enjoying themselves;
 fourth, that they have returned, and,
 perhaps, fifth, how they feel about it,
 Cincinnati Saturday Night. ) "JoHNNYp chided his mother, Chow ) can you be so cruel to that poor fly ? 3 How would you like to have great t elephant come along and stamp on you 5 the way you did that poor little fy2" 3 "I think, mamma" replied Johnny, B "that wouldn't give the elephant the 3 chance. I'd keep out of his way, and ) all ask of the flies is to keep out of l mine."
 PLANTATION philosophy-N de Lord ! shortens de lives ob dem what he loves, $ it is great pity dat he ain't fell in love U wid de man what always has pocket full ob political figures. Elf yer want ter make oman mad an appear pleased, tell her ob fault; but eff yer wanster !, make her pleased an appear mad, tell Il her dat she's good lookin'. .-Arkansdso
 7rdVeILer.
 "PvE got a message for you from Miss F-," said waiter at a Newport hotel d to fashionable young Boston man who had been secretly congratulating him. ,- self on his fancied conquest of the heart if of the young lady in question. ''Wbat V is it ?" he asked with great eagerness, V slipping fifty-cent piece into the e walters hand. "She says she'll give
 you $5 to stop picking your teeth with e fork at the table," a AN OLD financier, who is at the head d of financial concern in which he has l. invested most of his fortune and the n shares in which are certain to fall when of he passes away and the management is 1t confided to less sk l,ful' hands. "When. d ever my time comes," he says, with Q r, quiet chuckle, 1T have arranged to n have my heirs sell the whole stock oi y company for delivery after my death. l. Then when they cover their shorts in they'll make all they lose on the stock " as an investment. Beats blind pool r. all to smash l''
 le WHEN Marshal Narvez lay dying, hii 1t confessor demanded tf him that he pr should begin his preparation for death 'e by forgiving his enemies. "I have It none," said the surly sick man. Nc 1t enemies thought the priest. Why, fl