davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

It requires fewer and shorter words in
English to express an idea than in
French, and nearly third less than in
German. If English were Theoretically
spelled, the number of letters needed to
express an idea or speech would net ex-
coed one-half the number that are re-
quired in German. Take few samples
given by London journal:
1 was reminded of this subject the
other day by noticing the directions for
an electric bell in my room in foreign
hotel. They were printed in French,
German and English, viz:
"On est prize pousser lie bouton JUS
qu'au fond"
"Man list gebeten den Knopf so viel ais
moglich zuruckzustossen."
"Please press the button to the bot
tom"
There are ten words each in the French
and German to seven in the English lam
guage. The number of letters is thirty
seven, fifty-two and thirty-one respect
lively. The note at the foot of the bill of
fare was similarly interesting:
son remet la note chaque jour au con-
trole des voyageurs."
"Um Irrungen Zu vermedien, wird
taglich die Rechung EUR Controle vor-
gelegt."
"Bills are given daily to avoid errors. "
Here, again, we have ten, eleven and
ven words, with forty five, sixty-three
and thirty-one letters, respectively. An
other common "notice' affords corrob-
Grating evidence of the preceding ex-
amples of superior terseness of our YER
nacular:
Son est pre- de ne pas fumer."
'Es wird gebeten NIGHT zu ranchen. +"
s'Please do not smoke"
Here we have seven and six words to
four, with twenty-five, twenty-seve and
sixteen letters, respectively.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05
Fltzwhisller's Joke.

Many of you will remember dear
old whistler-Enoch of Carpet
Bag fame. Once upon time Enoch
was in his study, porting over big,
musty book; for he was engaged in
a discussion with DR.. +. Goethe
Digge, on the Antiquity ofthe Tad
pole, and the learned disputation
had reached point where Fitz-
whistler found it necessary to put
forth all his powers Of research and
critical analysis. The great Digge's
last ponderous effort had been
crusher. He had shown beyond the
reach of cavil, that the Tadpole was
not anterior to Man; and, conse-
quently, the Genus Homo could not
have been developed from the Por-
wlggle.
Thus was our scholar engaged,
porting over his big book, when his
wife entered the sanctum.
"Enoch! | want you to"
The great mans hand came up
warningly, and he motioned for
the woman to leave him. He was
busy.
"Oh!" she cried, impetuously, IL
wish | was book!"
"You-a book! What preposter
Gus idea'
"But l do, though! IF l was
book, might claim little of your
attention"
Thereupon Enoch turned upon
his wife smile that was blandness
itself.
"My dear wife, if l might suggest
the book into which You should
be metamorphosed, l should not OBJ
ject.'
"Well-what is it?"
"My dear angel, let it bean
Almanac"
The woman thought moment,
and her features were terribly con-
vulsed.
"O-yesl-you could then have q
new one every"
But Enoch did not wait to hear
the sentence concluded. He had
reached the other side of the door
just in season to avoid a three-legged
foot stool which came with crash
against the protecting barrier.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05
The First Man.

Some repairs were needed to the en-
gine when the train reached Reno, and
while most of the passengers were taking
a philosophical view of the delay and
making themselves as comfortable as
possible in the depot, in walked native
Nevadian, and he was rugged out an i'm
perial STYLE He wore q bearskin coat
and cap, buckskin leggings and mocca-
sins, and in his belt was big knife and
two revolvers. There was lightning in
his eve. destruction in his walk, and as
he sauntered up to the red-hot stove and
scattered tobacco juice over it, dozen
passengers looked pale with fear.
Among the travellers was . car painter
from Jersey City, and after surveying
the native for a moment, he cool1y in
quired:
Aren't you afraid you'll fall down
and hurt yourself with those weaponsf
"W-whst!" gasped the native in as
enlistment.
ST suppose they sell such outfits -
you've got on ct auction ont here, don't
thsy?" continued the painter.
"W-what dye mean-who ar ye?"
whispered the native % he walked around
the stove and put on terrible look.
my name is Logwood,' was the calm
reply, land mean that. II were You,
I'd crawl out Of those old duds, and pat
ON some decent clothesT
ssDont talk that way to me, OF you
Won't hive 3 minit!" exclaimed the ~
tive = he hoped around. why. Jon
Ola homssisk coyote, Tn Grizzly Dan.
tbe heeviest Ihdian dGhtsr in ths world!
I vs. he nrst whi<s man in The Black
aills. I wss TIE frst whits ma anong
~ lgodossf"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05
Twelve Rulos for Dunnlng.

l. Never give the idea that you call
because you happen to be in the neigh
borhood.
2. Never plead that you are in alb
solute need Of the money.
3. Never explain why you want the
money further than by some general
phrase, az to meet outstanding bills.
The debtor is unusually an expert in
showing a man how he can get along
without money. He will worst you in
argument, and il you should lose your
temper, it is an excuse to him why he
should not pay.
4. Always be civil, however business
like and importunate you may deem it
necessary to be.
5. Never think you have done wrong
because a debtor gets angry. His anger,
under civil treatment, shows that he
does not intend to pay. This you might
as well know early as late.
6. Show quite as firm resolution to
get the money on your tenth call IS on
any previous one, or else it would have
been better if you had not made it.
7. Never leave debtor without his
setting time when he thinks he can pay
and never fail to be on hand at the time
set.
8. As between yourself and an en-
ploye, let the most businesslike OF the
two make the dun.
8. Suggest installments. Shame the
debtor into making an arrangement to
pay something every week or every
month. If not $40, then IS. or 50, or
81. It will convince him that you have
set to work in earnest to get the money.
10 If debtor gets angry, or has worn
out your patience, threat to attach his
salary may be effective, not so much that
he is likely to fear you will get the
money that way, as that he will be
anxious that the affair shall not come to
the knowledge Of his employer.
II A similar effect may be produced
by saying You intend TO place the bill in
the hands of lawyer, particularly ifyou
mention lawyer whom he hates, or has
reputation for hsrassing debtors. Pro-
fessional debtors, however. become
careless about legal processes.
IL Drop into debtors fsvorite
haunts. II will make him very uneasy.
especially if you don't hesitate to ask
him politely, but plumply, for your
money on occasion. This may often
happen after he has displayed roll OF
bills.-[N. Y. Sun.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

"Thoss rubber garments are such q
blessing r. remarked fat man, IS he
brought into street car q perfect deluge
of water. The lady at his right, who
mopped one side of his coat with
her costly dress, agreed with him
perfectly; the man ct his Left, who
caught sbout pint Of drippings in his
shoe. could scarcely conceal his admira-
Zion: while the young miss TO whom the
80 man QnIlantly offered his seat . few
minutes later, went into perfect ecstaciea
8 shs 81 down in pool Of water left on
tho car sank-
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05
A New and Clever Swindle.

A man and woman, both stylishly
dressed, stepped into the Buckeye Nov
city Store, in the Arcade, Saturday, to
make some purchases. They selected
about $I5 worth of goods and placed
them in . small box, which was in q
satchel carried by the man. This done,
the man felt in his pockets for the money
to pay for the articles. He was very
much embarrassed when he sscertained
that his funds had all been left at his
ho.el. "Have you enough money with
you to pay for them?" he asked Of his
female companion. mo, have not; only
some small change" "Well, then, said
he, ''I'll have TO 60 back TO the hotel.
But here are the goods. I'll get them
when return with the money" So say
ing, he took the box out Of his satchel,
laid it on the counter, and the pair de-
parted, saying they would call back right
away and take their purchases. The
store-keeper, not suspecting his good
looking customers, took the box and laid
it away, awaitidg their return. They
never came. About three hours after the
pair had left he opened the box, and was
greatly surprised upon finding it filed
with stuff OF NO earthly value. 1t was an
other box, exactly similar TO the first one.
Il Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

To think We are able is almost to be so;
TO determine upon attainment is fire.
quently attainment itself. Thus earnest
resolution has often seemed to have about
it almost SAVIOR Of omnipotence. Sam
uel Smiles.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

'You have heard, my love. that
Amanda is about to marry Arthur ?"
II know it, but what can't under
stand is that q woman as intelligent ~
she is can consent to marry mar stupid
enough to marry her."
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

The f.rnse Who iran rapidly through
his Property wore = rod shirt md he'd
his bsisale ball bshind hin. -Ksoknk
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

The human soul, a. 1t exists, can be
made perfect only through struggle and
suffering. Nowhere else havo these eIe-
ments 90 benefcent an Office ~ in the
case of man. The higher manifestations
Of character spring almost entirely from
the soul OF sorrow. II We should strike
ont from human history the heroic and
sanity characters which have been born
from suffering, All that i noble and rev
erent in il would depart. II We should
strike from litsratufe all 10 which sor-
rows has given birth, it, inspiration
would perish forever. Even the pres
enee Of death hrs brought = solemn tan
dernsss and dignity into human Affection
which had otkarwIse ban impossible.
virtue, too, aequiBes stnrdinoas oily
fron roais1oa tsmptatioas, and oven mind
i1.slf Grows only thrnagh obo(noIes I'D
poGio16noo. IN. p. Dovne.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

The death 10 announced OF Mr.. n. N.
Solomon, OF Edmonton, in his 86th year
Of his age. He was one OF the founders
OF the Jews Free School In 1877, Of
which Sir Nathaniel de Rothschild 10 now
the President, and in which 1000 chill
dren are now daily instructed. Mr..
Solomon devoted himself with untiring
energy to the improvement Of the mem-
bers OF his race. As Hebrew scholer
be was acknowledged 70 be profound,
and he was generally admitted 70 be the
best English authority on the Talmud.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

Among the remarkable novelties Of
recent discovery is the boot blacking
plant, native OF New South Wales.
The leaves of this shrub contain q tough
substance gifted with all the properties
and attributes of the finest boot polish.
Squeeze them gently and they will yield
some thick, dusky drops of sticky fluid,
which must then be spread over the sur.
face of the boot. This done, polish Of
dazzling brilliancy may be brought out
by few light touches of the finishing
brush.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05

An advertisement in Berlin paper
announces that "a young noblewoman
having a large fortune and holding a
distinguished position, who is as lovely
as Helen as good housekeeper as Pene-
lope, as economical as the Electress
Marianne, Of Brandenbuig. and as spirit
ulle as MINNIE, de Stael, who sings like
Jenny Lind, and dances like Cerito,
plays the piano like Rosa Kasiner, and
the harp Like Bertrand, but who is as
austere as Lucretia. having no masculine
acuuaintances, needs husband"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-01-05
A clowns Trick.

Auriol, the celebrated French clown,
whose death was recorded short time
since in the columns of the Partisan
press, was man of remarkable courage,
GOODNESS and ready wit. During one of
his professional tours in Russia he got
into terrible scrape, from which, how
ever, his presence of mind enabled him
to extricate himself triumphantly. He
had been engaged, while at st. Peters
burg, to perform at q private entertain
ment given by a wealthy nobleman resi-
dent in the Basil Island. 1t was in the
depth of winter, and the Neva was frozen
hard. Auriol dressed himself in his
clowns costume at his lodgings, wrapped
himself MP in furs, hired a sledge, and
started for his destination, instructing
his driver to take the short cut across the
river. Probably tempted by Auriol's
costly pelisse, the istvostchik, tall,
powerful fellow, pulled up sudden
" when about haif way across,
jumped down from his perch, and, let
ting fall his reins, turned towards his
fare with menacing gestures. mo-
ments hesitation would in all likelihood
have cost Auriol his life; but he proved
equal to the emergency. Throwing on
his furs, and revealing himself to his
would be assailant in the motley garb Of
his profession, he sprang out of the
sledge and proceeded to execute some OF
his most amazing gambols on the ice.
Paralyzed with terror by so terrific an
apparition, the isvostchik made one in
effectual attempt to cross himself, stag
gered forward and with ali agonized cry
Of 1.-The fend himself p fell fiat and
motionless upon his face. Without fur
ther loss of time Auriol slipped on his
furs, picked up the reins, jumped into
the sledge and drove off, safe and sound,
to fulfill his engagement. Next morn
ing the istvostchik's corpse was found,
stiff and stark, lying face downward on
the frozen breast of the Neva.-London
News.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16
REGISTRATION

The registration for the Nogem-
Der election must close this evening.
Those who neglect to have theil
names placed on the list to-day Will
find themselves unable TO voc on
election day. Generally the people
have been prompt aud dihgent in
the matter Of registration. Yet
there are many VINO have not at
tended to that important duty Of
citizenship. The lists in the city
precincts up TO last evening con-
tanned the names of about 4 500 per-
sons, male aud female. Now, there
are at least $500 people in Salt Lake
eligible to vote, and the registration
should show that number. A few
whose right could not be cues
toned, have declined TO register
some because they are opposed on
principle to taking an oath which
they hold the Commission had
no right &c impose, and others,
chiefly ladies', who didn't care to
50 into crowds to have the oath,
which they regard as anything out
decent, read to them. But these
two classes are very small in NAM
Der. Most Of those who have not
registered are persons who have
been prevented eitrer by business
matters or physical infrmities. The
former, it seems, could be arranged
so as TO permit the necessary time
for registration, while as to the
latter class there ought to be enough
public interest taken to see that the
infrm have the opportunity of
getIng their names on the list. If
at tbs close tonight the lists con-
tain the names OF 5000 eligible
voters, it may be set down as a fact
that the HERALD'S estimate f 35,-
900 persons in the territory entitled
to vote is very nearly correct. About
one-seyenth of the total population
lives in Salt Lake, and the proper
ton Of voters to population is about
the same here as throughout the ter
ritory. 1t IS true that in some of
the mining districts, as the Park,
the Cottonwo0ds, Bingham and
Frisco. the percentage Of voters is
large, bat 1t is equalize1 again by
the small percentage in the agricuI-
tural districts.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16
EGYPT.

Those American editors who have
been fighting for Arab Bey during
the past two months, and have fog
ged the British outof Egypt a dozen
times or more within the period,
must feel that at last they are whip
ped; as also must those other editors
who saw Russia. Italy, Germany
and Turkey combine in grand
struggle against the English. The
rebel Arab has been crushed com-
2letely and is now 8 prisoner of war
in the hands of General Wolseley.
Peace once more reigns in the land
the PharaOhs, or will as soon as
the details for the new government
can be arranged. No doubt some OF
the other powers would like to see
England driven out Of Egypt, but
which one Of them dares. under
take the driving? What has occur
red in that land is the very best
thing that could have happened.
For centuries the people Of Egypt
have been among the most op.
pressed and doWn-trodden. They
are an ignorant. benighted race. in
capable Of self-goYernment, and
non-pFogressive in a high degree.
It needed just what has happened
to "wake them up" and put them
in the way to advance. The sup
preston of Arab makes England as
supreme in Egypt, as she is in any
Of her colonies, and while the Brit
ish viii not proclaim themselves
rulers Of the country. they Will
nevertheless be absolute in their
control through the Khedive.
The other powers have had
no hand in suppressing the
rebellion and restoring order. |
and cannot consistently ask |
for a voice in the government of !
the country. If they did ask, they |
would doubtless de met by a refusal. |
The civilized world will be glad that
he war has come to a sudden ter
ninatIoa. and thab so little blood
las been shed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16
ADMINISTRATORS SALE,
In The Probate Court j7g end for the
County Of Sat Lake, Terri
tory Of Utah.
IN tie uslter Of tn" eetstn OF Wn. John
Foil, deceased.

NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN
II that lhe undersigned administrators
Of the sstzta OF VIM. John Poll, de-
ceased, in pursuance OF an order of tie
Probate Court Of Salt Lake County.
dated september Sin, 1882. will sell al
priv ta sale, FOR cash, the following de-
scribed real estate: & portion OF Lot ore
~, Block fOTty-tWo (42), Plot 3D." OF
Salt Lake City survey, commencing a.
the southeast corner OF said lot. and run
ming thence west fve and one-half (516)
rods: thence north ten (lO) RODS; thence
east five end one-half 90 rods; thence
sou b ten Q0) rods to place Of beginning,
with all the improvements thereon.
Sealed bids will be reeeive led By the ad-
ministrators ct any time prior to noon Of
tee day Of sale, viz: Tuesday, Septem-
Der 18th next. Bids to be left at the
Office Of 5. W. Darke s. Co, 90 Main
rtrest, Salt Lake City.
VIM. z. POLL,
WM. STRONG,
Administrators OF the Estate OF Wm.
John Poll, deceased. ss9-id
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

THE 00ErENEs OF the Herald this
moaning are as follows:
isF PAeE-Lstast Telegrams - Egypt,
etc.
ID PAGE - Teleg,aphio News-Miscel-
laueous.
ID PAGE Correspondence - Sharp,
Sharper, Sharpest-Anarchy-
ATH PAGE-EditoFisls, etc.
9TH PAaE-M Mormon Bmigrsnss-Hotel
Arrivals, si0.
6TE PAGE -Telegraphic News - New
York Trade.
TIE PAGE-TeIegraphic News -Miscel-
la0eOus,
Sra PAGE --RegistFation-Test Cases-
Local Items.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

TIE STAR route farce progresses
apace, Two Of the defendants were
declared guilty, but as the jury was
evidently crooked the court has set
aside the verdict and ordered a new
trial. Be sure you are right and
then go ahead ought to be u good
rule for government TO follow in
prosecuting the alleged conspira.
tors; and not be moderately certain
that you are wrong, and then adj
vance. II the government lawyers
and legal advisers do not halt soon,
more Of the public money will be
squandered in vain attempts TO
convict Brady and associates. than
is claimed to have been stolen by
them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

THE RETIREMENT of MOroni
Green from he presidency Of the
Western Union Telegraph Com
pany, removes from the head Of the
great monopoly, the man who has
done more, perhaps. than any other
TO bring the telegraph service up to
its present high state Of perfection,
and to make the ". L. one If the
greatest corporations OF tie age.
Mr.. Green has been connected with
the company for many Years, and
being an active worker and
possessing remarkable executive
ability, much of the excellent
practical working of the concern is
due to his personal labor. 1t is
possible that his retirement is like
that of so many Of the old W. L.
superintendent and managers. the
voluntary stepping out ut the inyi
tation Of the new ''bosses." IF so,
the new deal has added another to
the many good and efficient men
that it has thrown out.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

NOTICE.-New properties ererv day: Loans
negotiated on real estate, houses rented suo
rents collected: charges II Oderste
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16
Words OF Wisdom.

No doctor viii fail to impress
upon his patients "that the mouth
and teeth should be healthy. because
it receives the food and prepares it
for its digestive work" Use SOZO-
DON'T, crafty your family physi-
clan and enjoy life comfortably. =
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

FHE DAILY aERAGO ia published
egery acruIrs, Mondays excepted, at
East Esallle Street. near First South,
Salt Lake Clisy, by the HERALD PRLNT-
C9a AED PUBLISHING COMPANY. Sub
eeription pr.ce,%10.69 per snnu1, post
axe Included: parts Of 8 Fesr at The
Iane rae To weekly subscribers
collector made by carriers, Csc. week.
TIE 5hMT-WEEKLY HERALD Is
published every wednesday and Satur-
Day morning, at $3.50 q year SIX
months, &. 70; postage included
TIE WEEKLY HRRALDis published
syery Thursday morning, st 81 q yeST;
nix Dlonshss $l.25, postage included
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

Ii THE day goes by without find
ing your name on the registration
list, you being entitled TO vote, do
not blame Congress for your dis,
REIMBURSEMENT.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

EVERY WORKING man 0esirous OF
saving % per cent. Of his wages,
makes his purchases at the Mechan-
&c Store, I76 Main street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16

REGISTER AND feel that you have
dene your duty TO yourself and the
Territory.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-09-16
ENEg
S'n'q v S(

we BEG to inform patrons and the general public
that exclusive Agents for and carry regularly in
stock line of Stoves which unexcelled in this orany
other Territory State in the Union We offering
them at plices that defy competition heavy percentage
Monitors and Champion Monitors both Plain and Exten
sion Also Charter Oaks-RoyaI Charters and other
Stoves both cook and heating manufactured by the wei
known firms "The Excelsior Manufacturing Co" and
William Resor and Co." The superior construction
economy in use of Fuel, Heating and Baking qualities
and the increasing demand warrant the opinion that ere
long hese celebrated Stoves will occupy position IN
every we'll conducted household in Utah