Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-05-16
PITH AND POINT.

ROMANTIC youth, rheumantic age.
A DoUaHMEsTIc difficulty = Heavy
bread.
THE mule always puts his best foot
hindmost.
You may be left at first, but try to be
right at last.
time makes all things even" except
odd numbers.
WHAT spring is ever dry, yet keeps on
running? A watch spring.
TAKE care of the pence alta prize fight,
and the pounds will take care of them
selves.
BALD-HEADED men are sensitive to
draughts. 1t is not the kind o., fresh air
they want
GEN. Ton THUMB gave banquet re-
Gently in st. Louis. Simon says
Thumbs sup"
HE tours of habit, F." said the gam
bier, softly, as he dealt himself all the
aces In the PACK.
EMBROIDERED mustard plasters are now
recognized as necessary feature of as-
thetic medication.
Mr.. COBB recently married Miss
Webb he knew that they were intended
for each other as soon as he spider.
The girl that has the most freedom
and runs at large most persistently at
this age is the one that's maid fast.
OLD Deacon Dobson always boosted
that he was prepared for the worst, !"
and his neighbors thought he got it
MI he ~,
Ar concert in London the fog was SO
thick that the musicians were invisible
to the audience, and the corhets and
trombones had to be replaced by fog
horns.
VERY nearly: Auntie-"You go to
school, Charley ?" Charley" Yes"
Auntie-" You don't play the truant +? F."
Charley" No; but I'm learnin' the
pianner
FARMER once hitched to his plough
jaded old ass and cough;
This team, strange to say,
Refused to obey,
And ran at the sight of sough.
"DID you get that girls picture,
Brown? You remember that you said
you were bound to have it." "WelI,
not exactly" replied Brown; &C. asked
her for it, and she gave me her mega
tive"
SOPHIA (sentimentally)-"I dearly
love to listen to the ticking of clock.
It seems to me that clock has q Ian
guage of its own" Mr.. Smart" Yes,
Sophia, the clock has a language-you
might say dialect"
A CELEBRATED lawyer said that the
three most troublesome clients he ever
had were young lady who wanted to
be married, married woman who
wanted divorce, and an old maid who
didn't know what she wanted.
How DO manage to rid myself of
bores ?" said woman of the world.
"Nothing is easier. When want to
send man away, 1 talk to him about
myself. When want him to stay in
definitely, L talk about himself.
"How beautiful the dome of heaven
this EVENING" said Angelica, as she
leaned heavily upon his arm. "The
stars seem to look down upon US"
sob, yes" said practical John; sits
impossible for them tolook up to us, you
know. They cawn't."
A LECTURER was explaining to little
girl how lobster cast his shell when he
had outgrown it. Said he What do
you do with your clothes when you've
outgrown them. You cast them aside,
don't your" "Oh, nor replied the
little one, "we let out the tucks."
PRECEDENCE and age: There is a
story of Solomon not contained in the
"Book of Kings" Two OF his court
damsels had a row as to precedence.
Solomon looked kindly, and said: "Let
the oldest go first" and the damseis en-
braced, and went in together with en-
twined arms.
a LITTLE boy who was accustomed to
say grace in the absence of his father
had younger brother who found it hard
to wait until grace was over without
helping himself to some of the good
things hear. On one occasion, when
company was present, the young master
of the ceremonies observed the small
boy helping himself literally to cake be-
fore the blessing was asked, SO he de-
hberately said; For what we are about
to receive, and for what Charlie has al
ready helped himself to, the Lord make
us truly thankful, amen"
NEVER SUSPECTED IT.
letter on the table lies
l do not recognize the hand,
And yet my heart is throbb.n2 and
There's joy-light in my yearning eyas
Is it from mother, old and gray,
Or from the little trusting maid
Whose heart won before strayed
Out to the mountains, leagues away?
Before ] break the seal, press
My lips upon the enyele pc,
And oh boundiess wealth of hope
rs layished in that soft caress.
Peace futtering heart On, soul, sit still
Why should my trembling frame recoil?
Ny letter comes from Bridget Doyie:
Itis-itig my laundry bill!
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