The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-28
COMIC COMMENTS.

Literary 81 occasionally drop into
poetry" as the man said when he fell into
the editorial waste-basket Ne,c FORK
Post.
Can keep it: Can a woman keep a
secret?" asks an exchange. She can. That
is to say, she can keep telling it.-Boston
Transcript.
Musical: The cat is the great Amer
lean prima donna. If bootjacks were bon
quets. her nine lives would be strewn with
roses. --LouisuiHe C0urie,-Jou7aal.
Explanatory note "Jay Gould can't
find time to shaye.p 1t should be said, out
of Justice to Jay. that this refers solely to his
face and not to spectators -Nen Hdoea
Register
Paris advertisement I" For sale a
monkey, cat and two parrots. Address
Nine Z, Rue -. As the lady is
shout to get married she has no further use
for these animals"
"A questionable compliment: Brown
"Ahl That's your dog. he'd astonish any
suspieious-looking party coming about, l
should think" Jones "Oh, you needn't
be afraid as long as Pm with you, old fell
low. ~ Boston Post
Glass in history: Teacher" Who was
the first man p First boy: George
Washington" Teacher; Next" Sec
ond boy: adam" First boy Indignant
~: 81 didn't know you meant foreign
ers."-Bostoa transcript
The other side: g Is this the front of the
Capitol ?" asked newly arrived stranger of
an Austin darkey. No, sab; dis heah side
in front am de rear Ef yer wants ter see
the front yer must go around dar behind on
lie udder side. - Teas Siffags.
She jumped the hurdle: In a "'speri-
snce meetin'" near here one of the sisters
said she had been to hebben. Another
asked 'if she seed any niggers dar 2"
" Lor', sister, you don't spose went in de
kitchen, does you ?"-Nem Orleans Pea
ya7le.
Calculated to fill it, ~ tell YOU" con-
tinued Pingrey, Brown isn't fit for the
place. In fact, don't know of place he
is calculated to fill" Don't be intemper.
ate in your remarks, Pingrey," said Fogg
you forget his stomach. Boston Tran
scr7pt.
A" Have you seen your friend B. lately ?"
Yes" "Then you must have noticed
that he d. es his hair in front, but forgets to
iye the back of it." 9 Well, it proves this
shat if he is willing to deceive himself, he is
not willing to deceive others. - Paris Pleas
antry.
"A soft answer !. I" he exclaimed
as he pressed her tenderly to him at part
ing, Shall hold you in these arms to-
morrow and paint our future with the bright
pigments of Imagination" mo" she said
calmly, "Not tomorrow. Tomorrow is
washday. Brooklyn Eagle.
Customer, with red nose: Eyes, I
want the hat TO be just of that size" Hat
ter But, my dear sir, it will be so unbe-
coming 50 very large, you know" Gus
toner: Hush make it that way, I tell
you. There must be space for the brick.
Louisville Courier Journal
Appropriate A Philadelphia boy was
asked if he ever prayed in church and ans
wered, ooh, / always say prayer like all
the rest do, just before the sermon begins"
/" Indeed, responded heastonished querist,
"what do you say? p Now lay me down
to SLEEP. philadelphia Nelos.
Biting off his nose to spite his face:
"Don't talk to Tue p angrily exclaimed
Blivens to his son; don't tell me that you
don't care anything about what your grand
father or your great-grandfathe thought
about these things, Yo1 nustremember that
they were my ancestors, !you young rascal re-
spectacle men were my ancestors, sir, and
wish you could say the same of yours, you
young rascal Boston Transcript
His exit There had been seeming
GOODNESS between the lovers. One day En-.
ily's schoolmate ventured to refer to the sub
ject and asked her: "When did you see
Charlie last ?" "Two weeks ago tonight
"What was he doing ?" Trying to get
over the fence" Did he appear TO be
much agitateda" $50 greatly" returned
Emily, 'that it took all the strength OF
papa'snew bulldog to hold him. ~ Brooklyn
Eagle.