The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-07-13

ter in it's little round fist on the table. M,
! wife and had exchanged few words
and now again we sat silent. Apparentl,
on account of this silence, its large eye
began to open wider and wider. The.
stared on me, stared at my wife. with {
surprised, almos6 frightened expression
as IL they had presentiment that al
was not right between us. I confess
chat these eyes embarrassed me, anC
that l had feeling of relief wber
Frederick entered with dish. And
think that my wife felt the same.
And the following days there were
the same large, wondering eyes, like ar
appealing question, staring into the
pauses of our conversation. 1t sounds
ridiculous, but it is nevertheless true
we were culprits before the child, We
two grown persons And by degrees
our conversation became more ami
mated. The occasional prattlings of the
little one were noticed and spoken
about; indeed sometimes there was
mutual laughter at his attempts to
speak.
All how light, how bell.like pure
sounded her laughter Had never then
heard that before And what was the
matter with me, that 1 sometimes bent
over my writing desk, listening, as
though heard from a distance these
same silvery tones
With the first sunny spring days eft"
began to play in the garden, which I
could overlook from my seat in my
Office. She was generally with him. I
could hear the sound of his little feet
( on the pebbles, and then her footsteps.
Now she would playfully chase him,
and chorus of twittering sparrows
would join their notes with the merry
laughter. Now she would catch him
and kiss his cheeks over and over. Once
1 opened my window; warm, balsamic
air streamed around me and butterfly
futtered in and lit on my inkstand
Just then she came out of a green, vine
grown bower; she was dressed in q
dazzling white negligee, trimmed with
costly lace; all over her streamed the
golden sunshine, except that her face
was overshadowed by the pink of her
parasol.
How slim she appeared how graceful
in her movements! Had I been blind /?
Truly the aunts and cousins were right;
she was in reality beautiful A sweet
| smile transformed her features; she was
happy-certainly in this moment she
was-and her happiness came from her
| child. Then voice made itself heard
in my breast, which said very plainly:
"You are monsterP' I got up and
walked to the window. cit is beauti
full day." called I. know how cold and
Y,or1of hora uonpIol 10 ha, t.
came like heavy cloud-shadow over q
sunny landscape. She answered some
thing that I did not understand; but
tn e brightness was gone from her little
face. Then she took up the child, who
was stretching out his arms to her, and
kissed and caressed him before my
eyes.
There it was when the first feeling of
jealousy was aroused in me; jealousy
truly, but what a strange jealousy,
which could not make clear to itself
who was its objectl If "It' said
mamma" to her, there came pain in
the heart; and the caresses with which
she overwhelmed him almost drove me
wild. I was jealous of both! 1t
pained me that | had no part in this
weaving of love; that I was not tho
third in the union. I exerted myself
to gain part of their love. I did it
very clumsily. The child persevered
in certain shyness, and she-had I
not kept myself forcibly away from
her during these long, long years I?
One day at the dinner-table, after a
skirmish of words, came a great still.
ness between us, stiffness more pain.
full than it had ever been. I glanced
down at the flowers on my plate Of Saxon
porcelain, my displeasure showing in
my face; but felt plainly that It.
had it's eyes fixed on me, and also her
eyes It was as if those four eyes
burned on my forehead. Then sound
ed suddenly in the stiffness, " Papa !"
and again louder and more courageous,
"Papa" l shuddered. cit . sat there
and stared, now very much frightened,
over at me, wondering, perhaps,
whether q storm would be raised by its
"Papa." But her face was suffused
with glowing redness, and her half.
open lips trembled slightly.
T here came food of gladness over
my heart. Certainly no one but her
had taught him this "Papa." Why did
with one word, one embrace, strike out
the loneliness of these last six years :?
One right word in this moment and all
would have been we'll. 1t remained
unspoken I seemed to have lost all
power to act; but on certain page
of my ledger are still traces of the
tears | shed in anger at my own
stupidity.
There was no doubt about it; another
spirit had stepped in with its little
curly head-the spirit of love; and
that made me a stranger in my own
house. A Aprecious sunshine frightened
the rooms, even when the one in the
heavens was hidden by clouds. The
face of the servants and even inanimate
objects streamed back this radiance.
But me, only, the sunshine did not
touch.
/ felt myself always more and more
unhappy in my loneliness. Jealousy
grew in me it gave me all sorts Of
foolish thoughts. l wanted to rebel
against the little autocrat, but that
would be ridiculous. I wanted to give
her the choice between him and me.
l, audacious one. / knew very we'll
which side her heart would choose. at
another time l was ready to take steps
in order to find the mother, and, with
the power of gold, force her to take
back her child-behind my wife's back.
That would be cowardly.
could no longer fix my mind on
business. l mistrusted even myself.
People asked what was the matter with