The Portland daily press., 1882-09-13
The Newspaper.
A Brief Essay on the subject by PUCK.

A newspaper is, ostensibly, a periodical pub
lished by a man called the proprietor for the
dissemination OF certain amount of intelli-
gence among q certain number OF readers; but
il is. actually, sinecure maintained in the in
terest, and for the benefit, of an advertising
agent and number of debonnair compositors.
The chief of these is called the foreman,
while his pal and accomplish Is known, tech
nicslly, as proof reader. These two men, In
conjunction with the advertising agent, COL
stitute the acting triumvirate of every newspa-
per office. Around them revolve, as do lesser
bodies around the sun, the proprietor, the edi-
tor, the editorial staff, and the readers and the
general public.
If you 20 into newspaper Office you will
see seated in luxUriously furnished and tap
estried private Office on the first floor, pros
perous-lookiDg individual. He is probably
putting a twenty-five cent cigar, and Is watch
ing the smoke as it curls softly toward the
ceiling He has an overcoat of fur and seal
skin, wears rubes and diamonds, and has a
glistening black silk hat. Near what is called
a "type-measure" his gloves are negligently
thrown. He is figuring out for himself ninety
five per cent of $4,000 order. This is the adj
vertiSing agent.
Ascending to the next floor you see the fore
man. He enjoys luxurious ease, and it appears
to agree with him. Aronnd the room are sta
toned compostors, who are toying with small
pieces of metal called type" With them and
with the foreman rests the entire policy and
conduct of the newspaper. They revise, re-
write, add to, and expunge from, the scrips of
manuscript before them. They strengthen GER
tain articles and modify others. They smooth
out awkward and Objectionable sentences.
They polish certain periods. When in doubt
they confer with each other. VI such sessions
the foreman is always member ex-oficio.
TIL, Sc bandits hold as it were, the newspaper
in the hollow of their hands.
Proceeding to the third floor you encounter
that terrible parsonage, the proof-reader, who
ia the hi-Bazouk of American literature
hand. He waits for his "proofs" as carnyer-
GUS animal might for his prey. The proof
reader receives $27 per week for being on the
lookout for any CLEAN of sense or Conference
the compositors may have escaped in the au-
thor's manuscript and for extinguishing 1t
forthwith. He is responsible only to the adj
vertising agent; but as matter of courtesy he
sometimes confers with the foreman to learn
| the intentions of the compositors This, how
| ever, is exceptional Gases have been known
where writer would have seen his article
printed as he wrote it but for the vigilance OF
the prcof-reader. As rule, however. the COM
positors, by their insane watchfulness, avert
any such catastrophe.
On the top floor of newspaper office, in a
dismal looking cell, sits the editor. The apart
| ment is sextangular. The focr and two of the
sides are of wood; the ceiling an the remain
ing two sides are of plaster. The editor sits at
desk. 1t is his business to write certain notes
and suggestions, from which the compositors
| and the proof reader will make articles. Be-
| yond that he is an entirely ornamental charac-
ter. Being on the top floor he Can go no high
er. To penetrate below into the precincts of
the proof reader or foreman would be instant
death; SO he must needs linger in his cell till
the shades of night have fallen ON the office,
nd han la Oa0d his m As
Establishments the errand boy full of young hope,
| spirits and heartiness, sympathiZing with the
poor editor, speaks an occasional kind wsrd tC
| him. At times, to-, the collector, when in his
cups (and therefore irresponsiblel speaks gently
even genially-to the editor; but whom sober
next day he Immediately regrets. The COM
| posiors, being men of full habit, make merry
| at the mention of the editors name; but the
proof reader, more delicate and spirituelle In
| his ways of life, and always struggling under
| the responsibilities OF his position, gives, pub
| licly, llo utteraDce to his views. In the secla-
| sion of his home, however, as he places the
| dishe veled proofs under his pillow-a place Of
| safety for the night-he not infreQuently al.
| ludes to the editor as "the poor lunatic whs
| has never been practical printer"
| TIE proprietor of newspaper is, from the
nature of his calling, phiianthroplst. His
| brain, his time and the contents of his pocket
| go to support and maintain the advertising
| agent, the foreman, the proof reader and theil
satellites ho mas no llAou ollCoJ anu is rarely
| seen. In the early stages of his career he may
| attempt to argue with his employees; but the
| futility of such a course becomes soon apparent
| and he retires to the country. The Foreman
| and the Proof Reader run the paper. If there
| is any profit, the Advertising Agent takes it
| if there is any loss, the latter becomes morose
| and respondent, andt spends the weeks re-
ceipts in convivialities with fellow advertising
| agents, of whom there are many. 1t is the
| Editors business to be blamed for everything
| to be professional target-and to pawn his
| clothes and to turn over the money to the AID.
| vertisng Agent as an incentive to that per
| sonage "to work"