St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-09-29

/ ing between us anu MIN lIt soup
might he too hot, and he might eat too
much - "Wife," said |, very quietly,
but very decidedly, 'frOm tomorrow
1T shall eat with us at our table. 1t
| is old enough now, with its two years"
From that time on ''Itn ate with us.
He sat there in his high chair like IA
prince, close to my wife-bOth opposite
to me like declared enemies, as it were.
The yellowish paleness of poverty had
| yielded to an aristOcratic pink in his
| little checks, which, now becoming
quite chubby, sat comfortably on the
stiff folds of the napkin. 1t worked
powerfully at its soup and, now that
it had finished, set up the spoon as a
scepter in its little round fist on the
table My wife and had exchanged
few words, and now we sat silent.
Apparently on account of this silence,
| its large eyes began to open wider and
wider. They stared on me, stared at
my wife, with a surprised, almost
| frightened expression, as if they had II
presentiment that all was not right be
| tween us. | confess that those eyes
embarrassed me, and that had a feel
ing of relief when Frederick entered
with a dish. And | think that my
wife felt the same.
And the following days there was
the same large, wondering eyes, like
an appealing question, staring into the
pauses of our conversation. 1t sounds
ridiculous, but it is nevertheless true ;
we were culprits before the child, we
two grown persons And by degrees
our conversation became most animat-
| 81 Of I,n
little one were noticed and spoken
about indeed, sometimes there was
mutual laughter at his attempts to
| speak.
All how light, how bell-like pure
sounded her laughter Had | never,
then, heard that before And what
was the matter with me, that | some
times bent over my writing-desk, lis
tening, as though heard from a dis
| tance these same silvery tones
With the first sunny spring days,
'It' began to play in the garden,
which | could overlook from my seat
in my office. She was generally with
him. | could hear the sound of his
| little feet on the pebbles, and then her
footsteps, Now she would playfully
chase him, and Il chorus of twittering
sparrows would Join in their notes
with the merry laughter. Now she
would catch him and kiss his cheek
over and over. Once | opened my
window IL warm, balsamic air stream
ed around me, and il butterfly fluttered
in and lit on my inkstand. Just then
she came out of a green, vine-grOwn
bower; she was dressed in il dazzling
white negligee, trimmed with n costly
lace all over her streamed the golden
sunshine, except that her face was
overshadowed by the pink of her para
sol.
How slim she appeared how grace
full in her movements Had | been
blind Truly the aunts and cousins
were right; she was i'll reality beauti-
full A sweet smile transformed hcl
features she was happy-certainly in
this moment she was-and her happi-
ness came from her child. Then i
voice made itself heard in my breast
which said very plainly, "You are Il
monster" got up and walked to the
window. at is ii beautiful day,
called |. | know how cold and prOsaiC
it must have sounded to her. 1t came
like IL heavy cloud shadow over sun
ny landscape. She answered some
thing that | did not unders and; but
the brightness was gone from her little
face. Then she took up the child and
kissed and caressed him before my
eyes.
There it was when the first feeling
of jealousy was aroused in me ; jeal
ousy truly, but what a strange jeal
ousy, which could not make clear to it.
self who was its object If ''It'' sale
"mamma," there came pain to my
heart; and the caresses with whicl
she overwhelmed him almost drove m,
wild. | was Jealous of both i
panied me that had no part in this
weaving of love, that | was not the
third in the union. | eXerted mysel
to gain part of their love. | did i
very clumsily. The child persevereC
in certain shyness, and she-had
not kept myself forcibly away from hel
during these long, long years?
One day at the dinner-table, after ;
skirmish of words, came a great still
ness between us, a stiffness more pain
full than had ever been. | glanced
down mt the flowers on my plate o
Saxon porcelain, my displeasure show
ing in my face: but | felt plainly tina
at" had its eyes on me, and also he
eyes. 1t was as if those four eye
! burned on my forehead. Then sound
, ed suddenly in the stiffness ''Papa !!
, and again louder and more courageous
=, "Papam | shuddered. ''It' sat ther
), and stared, now very much frightened
over at me, wondering, perhaps
, whether storm would be raised b.
! its papa" But her face was suffuse'
with glowing redness, and her halt
, open lips trembled slightly.
There came a flood of gladness owe
my heart. Certainly no one but he
d, had taught him this papa" VIII
: did not spring up, bound toward hel
;, and with one word, one embrace, strik
- out the loneliness of these last 81
years? ? One right word in this mo
ment and all would have been well.
> remained unspOken | seemed to hav
lost all power to act ; but on certai
page of my ledger are still traces {
the tears | shed.
There was no doubt about it anotl
er spirit had stepped in with its littl
curly head-the spirit of love; an
!, that made me a stranger in my ow
house. a precious sunshine bright
;, ened the rooms, even when the one i
!, the heavens was hidden by cloud
- The faces of the servants, and even il
animate objects, streamed back til
r. radiance. But me, only, the sunshin
- did not touch.
Is felt myself always more and MOI
,e unhappy in my loneliness. Jealous
is grew in me. 1t gave me all sorts
foolish thoughts. | wanted to reb
|. against the little autocrat-that Won
er be ridiculous. | wanted to give h,
ne the choice between him and me.
d audaciOus one, knew very we'll whiC
Iv side her heart would choose. At al