The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1882-05-03
ALEXANDRIA, La, WEDNESDAY, NAY 8, 1882.
THE PI0Us DEACON AND WORLD
LY cow.

1 ~ = Wv W.
A Jaynesville business man whom
we all know got up on last Tuesday
morning, and took a walk down by
Monterey to view the beauties of ma.
ture, and get up an appetite for his
breakfast. He is a man who weighs
close on to one hundred, and fifty
pounds. Gazing into the crystal
waters of Rock River it occurred to
him that he would take bath, SO he
disrobed himself, laid his clothes on
the ground and plunged in. He had
been sporting with the wavelets for
some minutes, when he looked up to
see cow paving the ground and
running her horns into his clothes.
She had run one horn through one
leg of his pants, and was engaged in
chewing his shirt, when the man
struck her on the hip with a stone
and she started off with those two
garments for the blind asylum, where
she evidently belonged, shaking her
head to get the pants of her. horns,
and chewing the shirt as though it
was q bran mash.
The pious man rushed out of the
water toward the COW, snd said $50
boss, so-boss," but she took one look
at his shape, and turned away, and
didn't so.boss very much. A war
map of the thoughts of this Jaynes-
vile business man, as he saw the COW
go away, would sell we'll if it was il
Illustrated by a picture of a native
Zulu pitking buchu leaves. The only
things the COW had left were his hat,
vest, shoes and stockings. He put
them on and started after the cow
The vest was one Of those GRANDPA
theirs clock vests, that stops short,
never to go again, a sort of emf
grants vest, that goes high. He tried
to remember some of the ten com.
mandments, to repeat, but the only
one he could call to mind was, "Pull
down thy vest" His eyes swept the
horizon to see if anybody was look
Ing, and he could see the grounds
about the asylum were alive with
people of both sexes. He thanked
Heaven that by the inscrutable ways
OF Providence, people were made
blind; but his joy at the calamity
was mingled with sorrow, when he
thought that the teachers at the asy
lum were endowed with the most per.
feet eyesight. As the COW neared
the gate of the ground, he made one
effort to head her of, but she ran by
him; and then he attempted to take
a pistol from the hind pocket of his
pants to kill himself, when he real
lied again that he was barefooted
from his vest to his stockings, be
sat down under tree to die of slow
starvation, but before he began to
starve, be got up again, and resumed
an upright attitude on account of
ants. 1t is a picnic for nest Of ants
to partaks Of a human being, who
has lost his or her trousers, as the
case may be; and he followed the
COW, saying $50. boss" in the most
pitiful accents that were ever used
BY a Jaynesville man. The COW
looked around, and as she did so the
pants caught on sapling and were
pulled of her horns and dropped
upon the ground. The pious man
looked upon this as a direct interpo-
sition Of Providence, and was sorry
he swore.
He got into his trousers SO quick
it made his head swim, and just as
the crowd at the asylum had come
down to the gate to see what strange
looking calf was following the COW
home, the man started on a run for
town, leaving his shirt with the COW.
II Peck's Sun.