Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-12-23
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sPOOPENDYKES WATER JET.
fFrem the Brooklyn Hagle.] ]

sprinkler and bracsd it with 'bricks;
my dear. that makes considerable OF Q
'ountain. wish 1 had thought Of 1t be.
tore."
"Upon my word!" gigglsd Ars.
Spoopsndyke. "Whv yon really are All
inventor. That's the best fountain L
sver saw; but how are you gong to
take 1t down Z" aud Mrs. SpoopcDdyke
tho fountain with cvusid-
able missgiving. =
"Don't want to take it do~n!"
srunted Mr.. Spoopendy ke. at come.
down itself by the natural Law. o. gray.
itxtion. Did you suppose that water
10 squirt mp in the air and
wait :or III. to bring It down on "A step
ladder? Got some Kind of notion
that was going to tie rope around
the water and haul 1t down. hadn't YEP
Well, I'm not, and amt going t otfsr
1t any chromos 10 come down. either ~
And Mr.. Spoopsndyks sealed himself
on The lower. step aud eyed his fountain
with great deal Of satisiactlon.
GLOW loug are YOU going to let it
squirt" asked Mrs. Spoolenhykr. anx-
ious to have the trouble LsEin that 1t
might be over the sooner.
"Oh, guess about twenty fss',"
replied Mr.. Spoopsndyke, measuring
the hight of the stream with his eye and
chuckliux TO himself, "Tbat's about
as lo"g ~ the pressure will permit and
I thought I'D let it go that far before
hitchsd it up" aud Mr. Spoopsndykc
) ouk all over as the full strength OF
nj. joke impressed h-eK upon him.
Mrs. .Sp""ppn we watcned the play
of the water In silence.
'-P'i APPS yvu ,.... can't take that
fountain apart without getting wst7"
said Mr.. Spoopsnd,k, at length.
"Maybe you have i'm bibcd the Idea
that when Iiurn that. water Oh Pm
guiug to be soaked. Well. Pm not.
The head that invented tDis fountain
snows how to keep itself dry" and
Mr.. Spoopsndyks got up aud walked
around bis prizs his face bsaming with
smiles. The water was falling In .
perfect shower upon the key box and
IN The afternoon sun the fountain looked
remarkably pretty. a..tt
Mrs. Spoopsndyks msds no response
but patiently awaited developments.
"Now bring me the umbrella" said
Mr.. Spoopsndyks. preparing himself
for the closing triumph. '.Bring me
forth tbs hsry, untsned umbrella and
~ Mrs. Spoopsndyks handed It 70 him,
he raised it. picked up his key and ap-
preached the stream. The ambrslls
protected him irotu the down pour, but
| 10 he bent ever TO turn the water OF,
the hisslng shaft struck suder the giuk-
ham and raising the umbrella with
vicious jerk, tipped Mr.. Spoopsndyke
over on his beam ends. '.se-
de yelled ~ soon ~ he recovered
breath. ''What did ye want to distract
my attention for ?" and he shook the
umbrsils Ut his wife - soon - hs rose
dripping 10 his fest. ..Another time
when I'm fixing this fountain, you get
under the bed, 70 heart" and Mr..
ESpoopsndyks glarsd around him and
approached the enemy onee moro.
This tme-hs held the umbrella
Il straight out bsiorsi him. groping along
bshind 1t with the key. He hsd almost
reached the rod when the stream struck
the outside Of the umbrella, And. % 1t
whirlsd, Mr.. Spoopsndyks spun around
landing In . sitting position on the
, fountain, which lifted him shout . foot
and landed him in the gutter.
"That's what ~ were waiting to see,
was itP" hs shouted at his trembling
wite. Been roosttng up ,hsrs to watch
SuAe NssPoy VI BOoiOo oK8IuoI OTUt0
force! Got an idea hid away some.
bwhsrs that this fountain and me amt on
friendly tsrms!" and he whanged the
umbrella across the steadily pouring
stream, got caught once more ana land.
ed in The gutter again, this time on Id
back OF his neck. How dive like the
, show2" he squealsd, bounding to his
!, iesi. "Thsre's going to be a concert
l alter the circus !" and b. charged Zee
again with his umbre IL. vii. b il
: inns " - jer ked out OF his hand, N !.
: rolled over IN the street. ..P. saare
your tickets OF the EsntismanIy ushers!''
' and he grabbed his weapon and made
: another onslaught. .Nnt tbat the cir.
0 Gus performance Is Concluded n he con
q tinued ~ he foil clear over he stresu
= and rolled into the umbrella. ..T,,s
|" best is yer-to coms!" AID IL tr, ing ,c
straig h:en the umbrella, ! hich hsi
u turned inside oat he csuah, ths 4, ~
tain again and 8 id down II 10 I
curbstOne " tn sound Ike buny
! . 2rter Oh barrel.
my dear. whv don't y up b.yar
= Mrs Spoopendyks.
y ..Ai,.I IP' roared her husha,.d d
u s.Praps you know more about the per
: : sonal habits OF this than dot ami b.
slammed At 1t with the umbrella spc
. kicked at it until his leg was loose
, y "May be you've got some po;i,ic in
!, flusncs hsrel" and lowsring his hsat
behind the umbrella he charged again
= The water tipped the umbrella straight
poured up into II and isll In . deluRs
J. on Sp0opsndyks's head and shoulders
Don't be alarmed ladies! he sauealed
There's no dsngsr!" and he smashed
: the umbrellas down over II like an extin
!. guisher. "A competent corps OF ON
y cials always on hand;" but at thil
:, juucture the umbrslls ripped frou
= handle to whalsbons tip, the stream
= caught Mr.. Spoopsndyks under the chiu
and landed HIM pale and gaspina
= against the fencs. .a,
. "This Is what l meant, dear" sale
y Mrs. Spoopendyke, boldly approachina
= = the fountain. kicking the nozzle oyel
:. aud turning the water olf. 1"This il
- what wanted"
y II know what 70 want =" yelled Mr.
Spoopsndyks. fairly beside bunself with
rage whom he saw how easy it wal
done. '.Ye only want little politica
:. influence and brick chimney TO be 9
;, S0sFd OF water commissioner II
could kick like you, I'd build well
n around me, get into wash. tub and
i rent out as . reservoiri II that's al
!. 70 wanted, Whist made ye howl for {
fountainp II ye only wanted to kick Il
. over. what made 70 stand around and
!. devil me into putting . motor IN aud
. start private water bul!ding:" Mr.
= Spoopendyke wrenched OF the hos,
!, without waiting to uncouple It, and
started for the house.,
"Are you wet. dearp" asked Mrs
!. Spoopendyke, regarding him affection
q ately.
y T"Wet!'' howlsd Mr.. spoopeadpks
;. "Mau is iour-tifths water. and the othsl
. fifth Of mo 10 little moist. that's all ~
!. and Mr.. Spoopsndyks plunged up stair
: and intO bed. d-,I1 ID
= Il don't care" nurmured Mrs
b Spoopsndyke. ''He didn't stand still
q long enough 10 get chilled, and If b,
n keeps msd Tor an hour longer he won
: catch cold" And, acting on this 10 y
i, sympathy. Mrs. Spoopendyke busiec
herself at the bedside IN il her husbant
d fell asleep from the exhaustion of angel
!. and snored the snors Of the Just.