Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-09-28
POLLY'S PREMIUM FARMER.

lied, and l will not mention the place
of her nativity, but lest the excusable
state pride of Ohio people be hurt, | will
say it was not Ohio; and yet. she had
energy enough at any hard work that
offered itself to entitle her to the pres
idency, if women were eligible tor that
position. She was able bodied, and in
her way strong minded, even to OBJ
stinacy. Though'she didn't b'heve IN
Chem wimmin's rights wimmin she had
heefd telD Or sh6 always voted in
school.rneeting, Atlfe Kansas law gives
chat privilege to women, because if
they mean to waste the peoples money
on too much schoolln' and high edicatin'
I'm goin,,to dc, all l kin to prevent it,"
was her reason for votihg5 acSA1SA
She wore her dresses made in the style
thstpyevSied when she first put on long
dresses, and her scanty hair from one.
years end to another was twisted in lit
tie round Knot and pinned on the top of
the. back of her head. ''The fashions
kin come fslnd 10 messwhen they want
to. I've no lime, and aints gein' to run
round after en-" was her invariable re-
ply when some friend dared to suggest an
improving change. Her highest -ambi-
ton on the swumanly side of her nature
was to have the finest colored striped
rag-carpets, the nice Iawn- irlrlles of I'M
possible roses and Improbable cats; the
whitest clothes and lightest bread of any
houSekeeper.- She carried on a little
farm, and among farmers it was her
boast and pride that her calves were big
geSt, and pigs latest; that her corn yield
ed most to the acre, and she never losta
chicken orVturkey by pip or cholera.
She could Scarcely read or write, de-
spised @book-larnin' as no count towards
gittin' along" and took no interest in
the world outside beyond the prices of
her crops and the groceries she had to
buy. NGTiE 81 n... 4.
Mrs. Prudence Volnev, for the last
four years Polly's nearest neigbbor, also
living on farm-I may fearlessly add
that she was from Ohio a refined,
intelligent woman, very fond of reading,
and Polly was always lecturing her on
her expensive tastes. K do think it'sso
foolish of You to waste your money that
way AN spend your time too. You pay
-6ubenough lizard cash every year for
such trash as would buy two or three fat
calves; if you'd "a done that way. count
in the material increase, you'd a had a
herd O cattle by this time, instid o all
this litter of books an papers; an you
might a drawn ina dozen rugs just like
fmineR yrr q ,........ -.,r-r .,......r., &c.,. +
Mrs. Volney took this advice from
Polly in good part, for the maiden lady
was really kind hearted and weli-dis-
posed, and too ignorant of etiquette and
propriety, or the most common things
belonging to cultured, and I might add
civilized life, to be aware Of the imperti-
hence of her suggestions.
So great-;Was her prejudice against
ne Wspap erssand books, as wholly useless,
that. while-ts.the ightning-rod, sewing
machine and patent pump man she
would give not altogether impatient
hearing, and examination of his wares,
the mild hammered book or newspaper
agent, with chrome attachments, was
sure to receive severe, mo sir, you
need not trouble yourself to take step
inside! I've no time to look at such
trash, an no money to throw away on it;
an if you want a piece of my mind I'll
tell you you'd better pitch into hard
work than to go round in such low husi-
ness!" and as she always gave call to
the dog, who stood by grinning with
white teeth that added to the effect of
: .Polly's remarks, the agent mildly said,
"Good morning." and retired, crab-wise
with meek side glances in the dogs di-
rection, and never came again.
i But Polly was human and a woman,
and in state where men do so much
more abound than the other sex, she had
secretelv wondered why, with so many
substantial ATTRACTIONS of farm stock,
full cribs and fat turkeys, her strong,
bony hand mad not been sought in mat
rimony. As she grew older aid accu-
mulated more, she often felt the disad-
vantages of not being around so as to
r know the prices of things, but she was
entirely ignorant of the value or use of
a newspaper in giving her the informa-
ton wanted. Besides. she wearied of
tending her stock and holding the pillow;
and it vexed her still more to pay her
hard-earned cash to some Indifferent
hired man, whom she feared or knew
sighted his work, or in some way cheat
ed her.
One day while chattering about blow,
she noticed on the premium list of the
coming county fair, Best loaf of wheat
bread, S., and Kansas Farmer for one
year"
The last clause very much puzzled her,
but she concluded that even for year
the farmer was we'll worth trying for,
and he might be so we'll suited he would
be willing to stay lifetime. Mrs. Vol
ney came ina day or two after. ''Have
you heerdtelI of the premiums yit for
~ Che fair?,.o5 To ~
.liiuttYes,I have a list" .
fa7o"AVirl they truly give S. and Kansas
farmer for the best loaf OF light bread?''
"I presume SO, and am half inclined
10 send in loaf"
81 should think you'd most be
ashamed to say so and let folks know it. y
Mrs. Volney never dreamed of Pol
ley's mistaken notions in regard to the
''farmer," and thought she meant she
take so many papers she ought not to be
30 eztravagant as to want another; and
she was greatly ;istonished at the blush
that crawled upsover Polly's freckled
face and lost itself in the roots of her
scanty, tightly-drawn hair, as she hest.
tatingly went on. ttWell, to tell the
truth I'd like both mighty well myself;
moneys most always handy, and the
farmer'd be convenient in the house
and ont efdeors too. Theirs something
about farming I don't know, and being
just alone by myself, l can't look after
everything, and 60 around to and find
out about things, and SO get taken in
Do you s'pose could have the farmer
longer if it suited all around?" she asked
dEXlOuSly. ztff.y gyf.g5J U.s.,
''Of course, the publishers would be
glad forsyouto have at all the rest o.
your hfe, you wanted it. 81
publishers" was an unmeanIog word
to Polly but she had a dim recollection
of hearing in her early youth about
something called publishing the bans
that was connected with matrimony ;an6
that Mrs. yolney spoke Of the Farmer
as ''it," soothed her rnaidenly r,lodesty