The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-13

and living marches, and original
l.CIristy minstrels with banjo and
castanet, that grandmothers boast
they can hear without the aid of
an acoustic cane, and by which
babies are quieted to a one lung
roaring power. $500 1o $50 =
The Gambetta cabinet is keeping
the even tenor of its way old maids
even commence to think there may
be a relish Of salvation after all
about it. The ministers are occu-
| pied simply with business, and turn
q deaf ear to Teazleism. If there lie
no doing, as politicians out of place
say, with Gambetta, there is GER
tainly no doing without him. He
has cut the wings and claws of the
radicals, by showing up the absurd
ity of their whole hog or none pro
| gramme; he is even deferential to
the monarchiSts, as every right
minded person ought to be in pres
ence of the departed. The seventy
| five senators, on whom practical
joke was played to be elected for
life, are to be extirpated in spring
at the flower of their age. Senator
Jules Simon would be more logical
in bringing an action against the
state for breach of promise
than calling those who differ from
him imbeciles and towards. The
terrible Paul Bert, has had no cold
bishop as yet served on his side
board. Matters will jog along till
the new session next january, and
republicans will exhibit how they
dwell in unity by splitting up into
i7l1frltnle1atS petitS. The end of the
year is the harvest season of the not
to be forgotten classes of both high
and low degree. At this epoch
French history never records the
outbreaks Of revolutions or the
bursting Of cabinets. Had Napoleon
III. made his coup etat on the
31st, instead Of the I'd of Drceln Der,
and so enabled uncheertm -lvers 10
| escape the seasons blaekmaning,
even Victor Hugo might extenuate
the quitting de la legGLite D0tLr Teut-
Tey dGtLS la droit.
Hitherto only young and old
women were cut up the better to be
made away with. At Marstilles an
Italian mother converted her in
FAINT into mincemeat, threw the
fragments into well and attempted
suicide, when they were brought up
in bucket. A year ago shop
keeper aged 30 married a pretty girl
of II; lately she went to see her
parents at Versailles for three DAYS
seventeen elapsed, but no return
the Seine was dragged the morgue
watched, and the police set on foot,
when the husband re-antering his
shop, found the lost one smiling
around; nearly the first thing
he attempted was to kill her; he
disbelieyed her story, that miss
| ing train, she had TO sleep in a
hotel, was there attacked with ft,
and lay in a trance for seventeen
days. On rousing from her Rip Van
Wrinkle slumber, she was astonished
to find, among other changes-a new
ministry. On Sunday evening last,
at dusk, a man was run over and his
wooden leg crushed; he hobbled to a
wall, when. q good Samaritan put
him in cab and had him driven to
the Pitis Hospital. At once admit
ted to the accident ward, the assist
ant surgeon ordered his expulsion
and had him carried ON a stretcher
to turner's.
At a banquet at Charenton re-
Gently, the chairman, ON rising 10
propose ''the day we celebrate" had
hardly arrived at the assurance that
he WAS unaecustomed to public
speaking-though he is an eloquent
burning and shining light III the
clubs-than he experienced the fate
Of Ananias and his lady.
NJ. Jourdan spoke prose all his life
without knowing it.
According to a learned Theban, it
seems we are two inches taller in
the morning than when going to bed /;
the fatigue of the day diminishes
stature by COMPRISING the articu-
latiOns. Some conscripts, it seems,
to escape being converted into food
for powder, have the power to de-
ceive the very elect Of the army, by
reducing their height. This consists
by not going to bed for three nights
in Succession, carrying heavy burdens
on the head and shoulders, and going
in extensively for nips of cognac.
The commercial college which has
just been inaugurated under the
auspices of the Paris Chamber Of
Commerc is splendid establish
ment; it is intended for merchants
sons; it has sixty pupils, of whom
forty are graduates Of the university.
Foreigners are admitted. Fees 5000
| fir. per annum. -.l--l
Sarah Bernhard asserts she is not
a Jewess, but a Catholic. Napoleon
l. was a Mussulman.
1t has leaked out that one of the
leading dentists of Paris, was origin
ally an old clo' man; perhaps to be
revenged on the Christians for tricks
played on his ancestors, he took also
to drawing-mOre or less painless.
\ wine merchant sends circular
to every lady's husband after her
confinement. eXtolling his dccoltche-
| n.eYat brand: q midwife carrying a
little stranger is the trade mark.
Neighboring dodgers on the same
flat, lend one another their wheeling
stoves, when visitors are expected ::
other economy: by connecting their
| co10OY, NTH a Tub1i0 boII rOoy,,