San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-04-27
WIT AND MISDOA.

The st. Louis Globe. Democrat al
ludes TO him as James duano Blain. .
THE Arabshav II that too much sun.
shine makes desert which is PROBABLY
the reason that London has never got
its deserts.
SUSAN b. Anthony wants the name of
the Pullman cars altered either b. Pull
man and women or Pull-irrespective-of
sex cars.
"You Just take that bottle of medi-
cine" said quack doctor 10 a consump.
tive, "and you'll never caugh again."
"Is IL so fatal as that9" gasped the con-
sumptive.
BEING intoxicated three times de.
prives man of the right TO vote under
the French law; III that were the law
in this country, election day wouldn't
amount to much.
THE Sacramento Record Union pub
fishes weekly edition that appears
twice u week, anu now San Francisco
newspaper has started "semi.weekly"
that is to come out but once week.
as your wife Democrat or Repub-
lican ?" asked a Rockland citizen of an
other in store this morning. "She's
neither" was the prompt response; and
then glancing cautiously around, and
sinking his voice to hoarse whisper,
he explained, @she's Home Ruler
Rockla'ad Banner
A HEALTH journal says: "An attack
of hiccoughs may be stopped by hold
ing the head under water" 1t does
not say how long the head should be
held under water, but we should think
about two hours would be plenty long
enough to stop the worst case Of hic-
coughs ever invented.
A BEAR, wishing to rob beehive,
laid himself down in front of it and
overturned it with his paw. "Now," said
he, II will lie perfectly still and let the
bees sting me until they are exhausted
and powerless; their honey may then
be obtained without opposition" And
it was so obtained, but by fresh bear,
the other being dead. Detroit Free
Press. Tu.i
A WISCONSIN man was in the hands
of lynchers and an offer on his part to
tell where bottle of whiskey was con-
cealed in the woods wouldn't induce
them to reliese him. But when friend
of his circulated the report that if he
was hanged the details of first class
scandle would never come out, they let
him off in hurry. A friend in need
is friend indeed.
The Springfield Republican says
the agnosticism of Reverend Milne of
Chicago will not shake the shrone of
God nor the hope of man." This is
blessed news. We did not know but
Mr.. Milne was going to revolutionize
society, paste, "for rent" on the gates
on Gehenna and reorganize Heavenson .
the Oneida Community plan. You
never can tell what a Chicago man will
do when he gets started.
THERE are mean men in this world.
Young Symonds got vaccinated with
virus from Gallagher's arm. Hitherto
Symonds had been known Us religious
young man. Since the vaccination took
he has acted worse than drummer.
He says it's all the effect of Gallagher's
blood introduced into his system, and
folks pretend to believe it, and it drives
Gallagher almost to insanity. Mean
trick of Symonds.
SAFE, notwithstanding, upon
to his store on Galveston av-
enue, from dinner, found his clerk very
much excited. The clerk said that a
stranger came in, and after asking and
paying the price for cravat, which
was 81, picked up the entire box, con-
tanning dozen, and went off with
them. did he pay you de dollar?"'
asked Nose, EYES," responded the
clerk. "Vell, then, We makes, anyhow,
80 per cent. on de investment.-Gal-
yeStO1l NelCS