The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-03-16

CannIbals sometimes have their neignporS
at dinner.-Exchange.
With this remark the worlds innaied-
Have yo,l, my son, Deen vaccinatcd
Eimird Ere. Press.
Another Of the shurtz family Is coming
10 this country--Madame Shirtoh, the
famous actress.--Ne,c York COMMERCIAL
advertiser.
Poultry, brrlesque actresses, and cavalry
officers frequently appear In undress.--
Ncu York Commercial Advertiser.
Printers make better generals than even
the graduates OF West Point, because OF
their ability in handling columns and
forming lines in The midst OF the greatest
confusion.-Od City Derrick.
A shell which had slept on Georgia bat
tle-field for seventeen years raw0ke ut the
blow of an axe the other day and scattered
q negro over an acre OF cornfield.-Detron
Free Press.
Fogg says he was never baptized, but lie
went to church where there was sprink-
ling OF sinners in the congregation and he
was one Of them Boston Transcript.
eyes" said Oscar Wilde, everything
at Niagara Is artistically harmonious. The
hotel and hack charges are on scale OF
stupendousness corresponding with the
cataract. "-BoSton Post.
1t is now believed that the fixed stars
were placed so far away in order that the
patent-medicine man couldn't get there to
paint on the rocks.-Netc Tori; Post.
California is mad over case where the
father took the silver handles from his
sons coffin at the grave and carried them
home in his pocket. They seem to think
that such things are the rightful perquisite
Of the grave-robbers.- Boston Post.
A fashion writer says "raised figure "
produce excellent effect. Well. that de-
pends; IL they are on a check they some
times produce the effect OF sending the
raiser to the State prison. Com
mcrciol Bulletin.
Water-color paintings are becoming very
popular in this country. But certain
class OF men still cling to the old fashion
Of coloring their frontispieces with whis-
key. They take no stock in wator-color-
ing. NorristoUn Herald.
Tommy was q little rogue. whom his
mother had hard work to manage. Their
house In the country was raised few feet
from the ground. and Tommy, to escape
wcll-deseryed whipping, ran from his
mother and crept under the house. Pres
emily the father came home, and hearing
where the boy had taken refuge, crept I'M
der to bring him out. As he approached
on his hands and knees Tommy asked. "Is
she after you, too ?"-Baptist Weekly.
The Rev. Arthur Anniccseed, OF Utica.
is dicple OF Wilde, and pronounced
by his lady Pensioners a very zephyr Of
poetic piety. His preaching is very deli
cate. Last Sunday he read portion Of
sacred writ detailing a rehearsal OF Jonah's
submarine adventures. awe come now
to JONAH" said Arthur ''who passed
three days and three nights in the whales
Hdterto,rn Times.
A young woman named Frances DeNvce
was arrested and locked in up New York
few days ago for wearing masculine attire.
That was the head and front of her offend
ing. She said she had donncd the custom
in order to earn living wages at a respect
able business, and for two years she had
succeeded. Fer this she was sent to jail
Nix months. Anna Dickinson donned
masculine attire in order TO earn more mo-
ney than she could win i'm female characters
On the stage, but up to the hour of going to
press she had not been arrested and locked |
Ip.-NOrriStolcn Herald.
$50 you've been to Europe, have your"
ne asked, az he wrigglcd his chair around |
10 as to get his feet on top Of the stove.
dyes, sir"
"Did you 90 TO Egypt"
"Oh, yes"
See the Pyramids"
eyes"
"Did they look natural!"
"Yes, pretty natural"
Any saloons anywhere ncar:"
"No."
What did you do for drink"
ooh, | carried along flask"
"Did, oh 4? Well, that was correct-per-
ectly correct. Anything in the flssk?"
"Yes, sir.
Whiskcy?"
"No. sr-brandy."
"Ah! That's what / was trying to get
t. l didn't know but you had il tiled
With cold tea, and thus disgraced the
rholc nation there at the foot OF the grand
st wonders the world ever saw. Stranger
IN no pyramid, and there's nothing 1000
ears old about ne, but il you have any
brandy left I'll guarantee TO imbibe about
wO inches Of il in manner TO make the
Id Egypt hide her head in envy
)ofrnjf Free Press