Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-12-19
MARK TwAINs BAROMETER.
THE REMARKABLE NAN SERVANT WHO
PASSES ON HIS JOKES.
rJobn Pare, New York Letter

| [John Pages New York letter.
Somebody was asking Hartford man
how it happened that Mark Twain wrote
and published so little nowadays. she
writes as much as ever" wYthe reply,
"but his barometer is out OF order, and
he does not know what to publish. So
he publishes nothing"
"What in the world has his baiome.
eter to do with his literary activity ?"
His barometer is man named ia
cob, who is remarkable for his deficient
sense OF humor. Mark can never judge
of the merit Of his own performances.
Years ago he fell into the habit of test.
ing everything that he wrote BY obs erv.
ing its effect upon Jacob. If Jacob lis
tened to the reading of the article, jest
or story with unmoved countenance, or
merely smiled in perfunctionary way,
Mark was satisfied, and sent the manu-
script to the printer. But if Jacob
laughed outright, or gave any other indi-
cation of genuine merriment the hmnor-
ist concluded that the stuff was worthless
and withheld it from publication. He
regarded Jacob as infallible, and came to
lean upon his judgment.
About three years ago, it appears, ia
cob learned for the first time from Some
outsider that his master was protest. on
al humorist. He felt greatly homo red
that he should have been chosen habit
ually TO enjoy the first freshness Of es ery
new production Of genius. He did not
exactly understand why he should have
been thus chosen, but felt in a vague
way that q great humorist must need
sympathy and appreciation, and must
naturally look for it to the fellow being
nearest at hand. He also felt that he
had failed to be at all times sufficiently
appreciative. So Jacob kept his discov-
cry to himself a. far as his master was
concerned, and resolved to be as appre-
cia,ive in the future as anybody could
desire.
One day Mark called Jacob in and
read him a sketch entitled The Cow and
the Lightning-rod Nan In composing
it Mark had fisttered himself that he had
struck pretty fine streak. To his
amazement Jacob put his head back and
roared. With halfsuppressed ejacul.-
ton Mark dashed the manuscript into
III. waste paper basket.
Then Mark waited six weeks or two
months TO collect his forces for he is new
err precipitate in anything he does, and
achieveda romance called How Bounc-
ed the Baby He summoned Jacob and
watched his face with obvious anxiety as
he read the touching narrative. Jacob,
mirth was painful TO observe. Mark
tore up the story and then tore his hair.
Two or three experiments Of this sort
with unvarying results, persuaded Mark
Twain that the malaria which he has
been dreading ever since it began to creep
up the Connecticut valley, has reached
him at last and destroyed his powers Of
usefulness. He fell into a settled mel
ancholy. His friend, the Rev. Mr..
Twi,chell, tried in vain to cheer him up.
Perhaps suggested Twitchell, your
man has really cultivated sense Of hu-
NOR, so that you must no longer judge
by opposites." Mark shook hi, head,
and borrowed volume of Jonathan Ed
wards sermons from his friends library.
He copied out long passage from the
discourse on eternal punishments, and
palmed it off on Jacob as his own latest
effort. For the first time in history, the
gloomy periods provoked peals Of laugh
ter. Jacob held his sides, and shook all
over with glee. Then he suddenly stop.
ped, hi, countenance became blank, turn
ed pale. and he incontinently fed. He
had seen murder in his masters eyes.
That" said the Hartford man in con.
clusion, lis why Mark Twain does not
write. He hung his reputation as a hu-
morist upon hi, barometer, and his bar
ometer no longer works"