Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-12-22
NO. 20.
HumorS OF the Day.

A psir of slippers-the orange and
banana skins.
twas Detroit girl who married at
10 so as to have her golden wedding
when it would do her some good.
When Adolpus placed his arm
around the neck of Angelina he said it
was for an neck's press purpose.
Blotting-psper was first discovered
IN 1465, but it has been mighty hard
work ever since to find sny when you
want it.
Stories OF the Wore" would be an
appropriate heading for the report Of
society ball in more than one sense.
Nothing like being we'll up in arith-
mehc. A Nassar-College girl has gone
into hal:-mourning it is for 8 half
brother.
A Professor was lectdripg on cater
Man WHAT" A listener remarked
that it was generally the sheriff, or
some woman.
A young lady attending balls and
parties should always secure female
chaperon until she is able to call some
male chap her own.
When woman wants to get rid of
her husband for an hour she sends him
upstairs to get something out of her
dress pocket.
Little Lottie to her friend: 81 have
so many cares. Yesterday little ba-
by sister arrived and papa is on a
journey. 1t was but a piece of luck
that mamma was st home to take care
| of it.
The parting was sad; the tears were
many and bitter. Hide, sun, thy kind
ly face and gather We storms blacklist,
in scroll. Tenderly kiss the pale, wan
cheek; brush back the damp, clinging
auburn locks from the pale, high brow
which fond mothers lips have kissed
since infancy. Speak the last, sad
parting words, the words which max e
us. linger on their echoes. Say good.
by for aye; press the cold hand and
watch his slow retreating form which
fades away forever. He is going out
to umpire baseball game.
There, never mind" said the
| dentist, soothingly, as he twisted the
tooth around once or twice to losen il
up, "never mind; it won't hurt
NO" gasped the victim, 81 know il
won't, out it does just now, and that's
what interests me-" (Of course this is
not really and exactly true, and he
| never said it that way, and by the
time any dentist gets tooth twisted
clear around only once it comes out
and man couldn't talk with pair oil
forceps in his tooth, anyhow; but then
good law, if you're going to stick righ,
close to serious figures and solemn
facts, when are you going to get 8
chance to be kind of funny To be
sure-well, never mind.
He had never told his love; their ac
quaintance had been brief, and wheI
suddenly he placed his arms around
her neck and imprinted kiss upor
her rosebud mouth, she was naturally
startled. "Sir," she said, "this is in
sufferable p ''Forgive me-" he cried
81 was mad to act SO. | heseech you
pardon me-" "No, l can never forgive
you. You have forfeited my friend
ship. You must leave me at once anC
foreverw Vainly he pleaded. She
was obdurate. So glaring an offens,
could not be condoned. Breathing low
he said he would go. His whole life
would be embittered, for he felt that
her image could ne'er be effaoed from
his memory. II will CO." ne sadly
murmured. "But before leave you
have one boon to ask. | feel that
am not unreasonable nor too utter ir
desiring this one favor. l trust you
will grant it to me. 1t is my final re
quest" "What is it?' she timidly in.
terrogated-softly touched by his emo
ton. "Won't you please take youl
arm from around my neck?"