The National tribune., 1882-03-18
WHY HE DIDN'T MARRY.

WHY HE DIDN'T MARRY.
The following communication from "A
Bachelor" will doubtless he read with in
teres., if not endorsed, by some OF our TO
cent lady correspondents:
Being bachelor, with an income just
about double my wants, and having always
been marrying man without being able to
find a woman who would enter nlatrimony
with NE on basis of recognition of practical
facts, think l may have right to retnte
some Of the charges heaped by lady CORES
pondents on my unOffending sex. In spite
Of all that is said to the contrary, l know
that all men are anxious to marry, but not
quite all are hot-bloOded enough to neglect
to count the cost. The woman of to-day is
an expensive animal. Without useful ac-
complishments, such as spinning drawing,
cooking, she makes nothing she uses, bat
buys everything. She dresses to meet the
criticism of other women, not Tor her own
comfort or her husbands approval. She
values nothing for what IL is, but for
what it appears TO others. Hence
she is extravagant. she wishes to shine,
and does not hesitate TO make a strain
upon the family finances to get the last new
| trifle. The spring bonnet costs fr:m 80 to
! $50; my hat costs me 90. 4 bonnet ribbon
! alone often costs 56. No woman IS ever happy
without sealskin sacque, costing from 5000
| to $500 She has half dozen dresses year,
made up by extortiouate milliners, and cost
| ing from $50 to 500 apiece. When these
| tribes of her wardrobe cost so much, what
| are we to expect of the substantials? /
| shrink from the estimate. / can see that
| the average girl cannot live on what my liv-
ing costs me, but requires twice as much.
Her habits demand 1t. She may fancy in
the early stages of her love that she can
forego her expensive tastes, but the sacrifice,
if she makes it, tells ON her spirits, affects
her digestion, undermines her health, and
carries her to an early grave. Seeing this,
no man with tender and truly sympathetic
heart will wish to tempt her to the dismal
effort. She may after marriage try TO con-
= ceal ii, but ii is plain that the woman who
i is unable TO defy the criticism of her neigh
bors in dress furniture, blue china and orns-
mental ginger jars is never happy woman.
This brings me TO the principle involved.
! II is this: that the American woman nova
davs finds the stimulus and interest of her
life not at home in the arms and smile of
snnroval Of the lord Of her heart, but out of
doors, on the street at church, in the dry
goods stores, at china uc,ions, and at church
fairs. Man loves the fireside. and when on
matrimony intent it is upon the prospective
domestic hearth that his fancy fixes. That
warns his heart and prompts the soft con-
fession. But woman nov aiays does not
center her interests here. Her fancy roves
abroad, and as in this country her liberty is
greater than her discretion, abroad she goes
70 see and he seen; 10 bring back expensive
bric-a- -brac which she lacks the taste To
create or select; 10 en- Iage IN the dlssipatlons
Of society. of religion. until she has little
energy left to devote TO making home com-
forta BILE for her husband. Exhausted with
her foreign expeditions, she has no patience
with her husbands demand for well cooked
food, such as he was formerly accustomed tc
in the happy days of his hoarding-bOuse
existence. In word. BIr. Editor, If could
, find a woman who could cease to live wholly
for herself and become able TO live partly
for somebody else. I'd court her."
As partial answer to the question of a
| wife's true duties and position, we give Rus
kin's eloquent definition: What do you
think the beautiful word wife comes from
1t is the great word in which the English
, and Latin languages conquered the trenef
and Greek. | hope the French will som'
. dav get a word fer it instead of that femme
,, But what do you think it comes from? The
> great value of the Saxon words is that tney
:. raean something. Wife means weaver.
You must either be housewives or house
moths: remember that. In the deep sense
- von must either weave mems fortunes and
smhroider them, or feed upon and bring
=! them to decay Wherever true wife comes
IL home is always around her. The stars may
ba over her head, the glow-worm in th'
i, NIGHTS cold grass may be the fire at her feet
!" hr. home is where she is, and for nobl
III woman it stretches far around her, bette
n than houses ceiled with cedar OF painte'
Ny With vermilion-shedding its quiet light TO
, those who else are homeless. This, / believe
;s the woman's true place and power"