Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-03-09
HUMOR.

Mr.. MalOny-NOwl look here, Brldg-
ct, can ENCORE this no longer. I've
wore that little Ships shirts patiently
for months and months, and you've
got to get the washing for long armed
man, or get short-armed husband"
A young man in great rage told two
friends that he had just had his face
slapped. "Ha" said the friends, 1--WE
will rush off and demand satisfaction"
"What?" he said, "a duel tool Not
much. Don't you call having your
face slapped enongh?"
The Washington Critic says "There
is rumor around the capitol to-day
to the effect that a bill is preparing by
a democratic statesman, similar to the
one passed in the senate the other day
retiring General Grant, to retire Gen
eral George B. Mcclellan"
Mr.. Gladstones disheveled hair has
grown grayer in the past few months,
but his brilliant dark eyes are undim-
med. His strength and nerve are
nursed by persistent taking of fresh
air ard exercise. He has been known
to walk forty miles on summers day.
James Newell, aged 81 years, living at
Hopedale, ILL.,, was recently summoned
a Juror, for the first time in his life. 1t
was the first ride he ever had on the
steam cars, and he would have travelled
on foot if the roads had not been so bad,
rather than risk his life on "them
steam things"
The Virginia tobacco manufacturers
have issued circular to the tobacco
planters of Virginia and North Carolina,
urging the importane of the cultivation
of Burlev tobacco instead of Virginia
leaf, in places where the latter fails to
prove remunerative. Ten thousand
copies of the address are to be printed
and distributed through the states
named.
"Well, never had so much trouble
in my life" remarked Miss Fityoy to
her friend who had called. "Here our
society is to sing Patience, and there
isn't girl of our set who will take Lady
Jane" "Why" said the friend, thought
fully, "the part would just suit you"
'Impudence. am cast for Patience"
The caller retired, and Miss Fitzjoy
went to her room, drank a half pint of
vinegar and water, and endeavored to
draw her corset lacings a little more
tawt."
Some one was telling Horace Smith
of his having given late royal Duke
an account of an accident he had met
with when ne had been run away with,
and of the Dukes exclaiming aloud to
himself when he heard the narrator
had jumped out of the carriage, Cool
fool p "Now," said the narrator to his
auditor, 'it's all very well for him to
call me fool, but | can't conceive why
he should. Can your" NO." replied
the wag, as if rejecting; because he
could not suppose you ignorant of the
fact"
A Duchess county n. Y, farmer says
" To get grass started on poor land,
which is tillable, and where there is
not much manure, the land should be
thoroughly cultivated, and dressed with
what manure there is, made fine and
narrowed in, and the glass seed-clo-
yer and timothy--sowed without any
grain. 1t is a mistake to suppose that
some grain growing with the grass, is a
necessary protection to it, by keeping
it shaded while very small. The
moisture, which the grain draws away
from the grass is more necessary to the
grass than the shading could be twill
probably have some weeds the first
year, when it should be moved in pro-
per time. 1t will be rare thing if
after that there is not good crop Of
grass. And where there are good crops
of grass there comes fertility.