News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-03-02
WIT AND WISDOM.
A NATIONAL salute-"Here's to you I"
A SAGE HEN-one who avoids the

MANY an unlucky sailor has met
shark-ing fate.
A MAN that is variable is not esteemed
very able by his neighbors.
MARRYING drunkard to reform him
is like drinking up medicine to save it.
A Chicago dealer advertises corsets
for ten cents. It's wonderful how
cheap squeezing has become in this
country.
BOSTON is an inconsistent town. Her
Milk street is whole mile away from
Water street. How are they to get to-
gether?
THERE is nothing that go goads a
spirited woman to madness, as the re-
alization that any man controls her
husband.
Is IT the interests of love and the
jealousy of conquest that render friend
ship between women so lukewarm and
of SO short duration2
HINDU saying: Large rivers, great
trees, wholesome plants and wealthy
persons are not created for themselves,
but to be of service to others.
CHILDREN are travellers rewly arrived
in strange country; we should
therefore make conscience not to mis-
lead them.
To BE ill-thought of in another per-
sons mind is in itself no wrong doing,
although it may signify some discom-
fort to yourself.
TRUE glory takes root, and even
spreads. All false pretenses, ike flow
ers, fall to the ground, nor can any
counterfeit last long.
He who ascenda to mountain top shall find
The loftiest peaks most wrapped in clouds
and snow,
For who surpasses or subdues mankind,
Must look down on the hate OF those below
In some ways disappointment is as
good as success, for it does not prevent
the sincerity of your good intentions,
nor alter the truth of your good feel
ings.
A LADY announces that she will re-
ceive pupils on the piano. Let it be a
concert grand, then, SO that every one
may have foothold. ld.-Bostop CONNER
ciaI Bulletin.
THE son of an emir had red hair, OF
which he was ashamed, and wished to
dye it, but his father said: "Nay, my
son better so live that all fathers shall
wish their sons had red hair"
ONE of the inscriptions upon the wall
of the room in which the Wisconsin
Dairymen's Association held its recent
annual meeting was "Talk to your
COW as you would to lady"
A New YORKER who had offered $50
to any one who would remove his
buniop, now turns around and wants
SIC, COO because street car accommo-
dated him.
''DAN RICE" says the Detroit Free
Press, "claims to be the only man in
this country who ever received salary
of 81 900 per week for nine years with
out laying up a single dollar"
"Do YOU know, my DEAR" said a
husband to his wife, "that there is
never a divorce case without a woman
i. it? Her response was, "Do you
know, my love, that there is never a
breach of promise case without a very
mean man in it ?"
A KENTUCKY ofIice-seeker dreamed
that he saw in the distance the fattest
Office he had ever looked upon but just
| A,NI
| Gainsborougfi hat, stepped III between
him and the prize, and he awoke.-
Louisville Journal.
81 JUST went out to see friend for
moment" remarked Jones to his wife,
as he returned TO his seat in the theatre.
Indeed" replied Mrs. j., with sarcas-
tic surprise, 81 supposed, from the odor
of your breath, that you had been out
see your worst enemy" Jones WINGED.
A POLITICAL speaker noted for his
long -winded harangues, said to the pre-
siding officer of a meeting, just before
he was introduced "I really do not
know what to talk about, called upon
SO suddenly" "Well," said the pre-
siding officer, ''if You want TO please
the audience talk about five minutes"
A NoBLEMAN bad married three wives
who had been his servants. A beggar
woman meeting him one day in the
street made him very low courtesy.
"Ah, bless your lordship,' she said,
sand send you long life, for if you do
but live long enough we shall all be
ladies in time"
"MAY / leave some timidly tracts?"
asked a peddler of Western farmer.
"May you leave some trucks ?" was tie
brutal reply, ''may you leave some
trucks? Yes, you may, and if you will
leave 'em right off and leave 'em with
the hubs toward the door I'll be
| obliged"
ENVY must be cen let her feed her grudge
Truth will shine out when time shall be the
| judge;
Tis an old use that hath been, and will be,
That where the sun his liberal light may
throw,
The heat comes with it, and the grass viii
| grow.
How PEOPLE do change, to be sure.
There are the Pingreys, for instance.
Six months ago, before they were mar
ried, when Henry used to leave her
house, Martha would stand at the gate
and throw kisses at him until he was
out of sight. This morning, when he
left home, instead of kiss, Martha
threw fire-shovel.-B0StOn Tran
script.
A ScoToH minister was once busy
catechising his young parishiorers be-
fore the congregation, when he put the
first question to stout girl whose
father kept public house "What is
your name ?" No reply. The question
having been repeated, the girl replied:
"Nsne O. yer fun, Mr.. Minister; ye ken
my name weel eneuch. Dye no say
when We come to our house on night,
Bet, bring me some ale
LETTER LANGUAGE.
The farmer feeds the bleating u,
The sailor sails the &c,
The gardener plants the p P, he does,
The printer takes his Q.
The owl looks veryyy
At everything he z,
The schoolboy dots his
And crosses all his t t.