Connecticut western news., 1882-01-11
The News' Prospectus for 1882.

It's poor newspaper nowadays that hasn't got s'Prospectus for the New Year, telling all about it's politics, creed, color, principles. hankerngs, what great things it expects :o do, and other comforting and exciting infor. nation. A Prospectus is as necessary in a in peach orchard. Now there may be some in this cold and unfeeling world, who think the NEWS hasn't got any principles, and therefore no Prospectus If such there be, let them hark ye minute. He that hath ears to hear, let him unfold them. We've got a Prospectus as long as telegraph wire, and principles favored to suit the taste; and in entering upon the New Year, it behooves us to re.assurs our anxious readers with a few
 ''stubborn fax" which we can back up every time
 The NEWS stands up fiat footed in behalf of morality, justice and good order, at the rate of $l.50 year. If those who think they don't get their moneys worth of these cardinal virtues from our columns, will call at our office and say 30 sometime when we're out, we'll see lem later.
 Politically, the NEWS isn't on the fence by any means, nor is it exactly in the ditch It's sort O between and betwiKt." We've been for some time the organ of the National Re- form party, but as some of our readers have kicked against it we propose to go out of the organ business, and become the mouthpiece of the No Lieense horn. We're bound to please our readers if we have to resort to chromos and corkscrews to doi it.
 The NEWS will not support for ofice, any man who is over five years in arrears in his subscription account That's civil service re- form on practical basis
 Big huckleberries and long corn stalks Witb holes punched in them will not be received as legal tender for subscriptions at this office after April 1st; and the simple, bare state ment that man has picked pumpkin four feet in diameter will not be sufficient to secure ''puf." The pumpkin must accompany the aforesaid s. b. 8. as guaranty of good faith.
 The NEWS is down on hoop skirts and banged hair like thousand of brick, and will wage bitter aud unyielding warfare against them until the former are collapsed and the latter tied up.
 The NEWS believes in social equality-that one man is just as good as some more men that the man who wipes his nose on e lamp post is no better than the man who is entitled to wear his hat in the parlor and squeeze the corsets of the 'bells of the ball." and it will not print the name of the defendant in dog stealing lawsuit in any bigger letters than that of the manager" of caucus.
 The NEws believes in going to church every Sunday when it don't rain, and in keep. ing awake during the sermon, especially if one snores. It also believes in laying it's penny gently on the contribution plate. in- stead of skipping it down so hard as to make | the other pennies rattle and wake up the oc- l ,upants of the next pew.
 The NEws don't believe in Guiteau's in. 'piration. and thinks he'd better be hung up y the neck-he's too sassy to live. It has cen inspiration gurgle from little brown tug, 'r fat bottle, that would kill at 40 rods just $ quick as Guiteau's inspired pistol.
 The NRws believes in lots of other things, nd don't believe in several more, which pace forbids us to mention. The foregoing lone should be sufficient to convince any ody that the NEWS hGs principles and view. f it's own, which it will live up to as long as s readers don't object We are sin the ands of our friends" as the candidates for fics say, and are bound to please them Sl.50 'orth, even If we have to change our platform ! very new moon i