Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-03-25
WIT AND WISDOM.

because it will corn you copious
"WmAr is that man yelling
quired Tommy of his youngeyh
''At the top of his voice, repli,
little one.
SIZE told him that she could re
mind like an open book, and ther
~ added, "Blank Book. ."-CH
Tribune.
4 LAUNDREss takes in twelve
and has four stolen from her line.
many are left and what are the K
going to do about it !?
THE attempt to revive dresses cut lc
in the neck for ball costumes has be
failure. When anything gets sol
as they were, it is extremely difEsglt
revive it.-Lo1CeU Citizen.
SOMEBODY threw red light on the 4
at Niagara the other night, and fol
thought the cataract was blushing
the way the hackmen round the
charge folks.-Boston Post
''Is BE good German scholar2' the
asked of the Washington belle cora
ing her lover. "Splendid r. she
piled. " He holds a lady beautifu
and knows all the figures. ."-Bos
Post.
An English form Of phrasing wa
oddly illustrated in depot the othe1
evening, when atraveling British cousin
was overheard asking the other, "Haye
you got the brasses for the luggage ?"
THE New York Commercial AduaY-
tiser says: In China they punish ad
teration of food with death. The mo
we think of these benighted heather
the more we are convinced they mu
go
john G.. EHRING, of Utica, made
wager that he could drink two quarts c
whisky at sitting. He did go and
in few hours. Its always well to
gently with the Ehring. -Lo'
Courier.
PREcoCIoUs children-"I know, 81
the little girl to her elder sisters yom
man at the supper table, 'that you W
join in our society for the protection
little birds. because mamma says 20
are very fond of larks."
WoUIDsr thou be happy liverl
Let the past be past foreverl
fret not when prigs and pendants bore you.
Enjoy the good that's set before you;
But chiefly hate no man the rest
Leave thou to God who knows what's best.
GoETHK.
THOSE who feel aggrieved at Lenten
fastings may solace themselves with
Sydney Smiths reflection According
to my computation, have eaten and
drunk between my tenth and SEVENTEEN
year forty fcur-horse wagon loads more
than was good for me-"
THINGS one would rather have left
unsaid-Vicar (who, until last Sunday,
had always preached himself): "Wen,
and how did you like my young curate's
sermon ?" Mrs. Robinson "Oh, quite
the best We have heard for yearsi We
all said so !''-Pmch.
''HAvE you seen our friend B. latel
eyes" "Then you must have moi
that he dyes his hair in front, bu'
gets to dye the back of it." "W
only proves this, that if he is wiIlin
deceive himself, he IS not willing to
ceive Others"
ADMIRATION "There is somethin,
about Pingrey that I ADMIRE" sale
Brown. eyes" replied Fogg, "the~
10 SOAOtnA1lS dDOlJ Hill budb el0AAtAAe
too-something in the morning paper
which says that he has gone to Eurors
for couple of years"
FIRST North Country Farmer (wit
newspaper) Another storm pledit;us
from America Second ditto-Fat ae
| F? They can SEN as mony hurricanes
as they like, an blaw sna-drift an hail
forby, gin they wild only keep their
darned beef at hame, an no spile the
price O. my nowte !"
''THE wisest of all sayings" said some
one in the hearing of Charles Lamf
Kenny, an old journalist who has jus
died in London, sis the old Greek
maxim know thyself. ," EYES," SAID
Kenney ''there is deal of wisdom in it
know thyself, but never introduce q
friend"
A LANDLADY advertises that she has
''a fine, AIRY, well-furnished bedroom,
for a gentleman twelve foot square )"
another has "a cheap and desirable
suite of rooms for respectable family
in good repair ;" still another has ga
hall bedroom, for single woman eight
by twelve"
(Which of Shakespeare's plays do
you like, Mr.. O'Flannigan ?" "Well,
like the Irish ones the best" f.And
which may those be, Mr.. O'Flannigan 2"
"Are you so ignorant as that, me son?
Sure yer eddication's been sadly ne
elected. Why, O'Thello, Cory
OLanus. Mike Beth, and Katharine
and Pat Ruchid."
One of the hits of the Covent Garden
pantomime-a very good pantomime by
the way-is made when the old woman
who lives in shoe asks her class,
"What do you know about the govern
ment of Ireland?" "Nothing!" boldly
replies the candid but ignorant pupil.
''Then You are qualified to be Prime
Ministes y replies the old lady, and the
house applaud Justify.
A BOY was recently taken to the
opera-hou by his uncle. A few even-
Ings subsequently there was company
at his house, and the uncle and aunt
were among the number. The lad was
relating what he saw, and, among
other things, said, ''I was little bit
afraid, cause every time the curtain
rolled down, uncle went out to see
man and LETT me alone"
PIP PER ENGLISH.