, 1882-06-30
humorous. .

IL don't like that cat. It's got
splinters in it's feetw was the excuse
of a four-year-old for throwing the
kitten away.
SOME one says talk is cheap. 1t is
not when it comes in an extra session
of the Legislature and must be paid
for by the state.
Il love the summer" as the board
ingschool girl said when she eloped
with her arithmetic teacher.-MaTa-
h0n Independent,
Rev. DR.. TALMAGE said that modern
young ladies We're not the daughters
of Shem and Ham, but the daughters
of Hem and Sham.
Poor men give away money as if
they were rich. Rich men hang on
to nickel as if they might be poor.
-Ne,c Orleans Picay,tne.
A PARROT is a great comfort to
lone woman. 1t soon learns to swear,
whistle and make noise Just as good
as man.-Nelc Orleans Picayune.
A WESTERN paper announces that
upon the occasion of recent boiler
explosion in the neighborhood "be
tween three and four men were
killed"
The man who has all knowledge at
his fingers ends should not bite his
nails; he might bite off more than he
could conveniently chew,-Boston
Transcript,
The way to get rich in this world
is to save what you make When
you make a fool of yourself don't
give it away.-PhiLadeLphio Chroni-
cie-Herald.
We are told that "at Pompeii,
combs have been found exactly like
the fine tooth kind" This would in
dicate-well, you catch the ideal
Boston Post.
THAT good old proverb: God
help the rich the poor can beg" is
a running mate to that very true but
sarcastic saying: "God preserve me
from my friends | can take care of
my enemies"
A New BRUNSWICK On. J.) 4-year-
old, on seeing the cook take the baked
potatoes from the oven, was aston
ished at one which had burst its
skin. "Oh, Annie" he exclaimed,
there's one all unbuttonedw
The average society young man
is not unwilling to marry, but he
must have a wife who can support
him in as good style as he has been
accustomed to while living on his
mother. r.-NeU orleans Picdyune.
A CLERGYMAN who had just married
a couple felt indignant when the
bridegroom gave him a fee of only
half a dollar, smiled grimly, and said:
"Never mind. You'll have to pay
lawyer 500 for undoing what l have
done" Wait
SEvERAE tons of spring poetry hay
ing been destroyed in the burning of
the office of Puck, all manuscripts of
that kind intended for the Courier
Journal may be addressed to Puck
until that unfortunate but deserving
concern has fully regained its feet
Louisville CourterJOurndL
A NEW settler in Texas writes that
he has "the Rio Grande for bath
tub and the whole of Mexico for a
back yard" 1t might do for him to
use the Rio Grande as bathtub if
there were no policemen around, but
Mexico as back yard would hardly
be safe place to hang clothes. Lou
ell Citizen.
AN undergraduate, under examina-
tion at Dublin, was missing question
after question. At last the examiner
got irritated, and said: Il declare,
I've got dog at home that could
answer the questions that have been
given to you" "Have you really,
sir?" said the undergraduate blandly.
May / ask if you would sell himW
IT is stated that the reason the
Railroad bill, reducing the fare to
three cents, passed the House was
because the members we're mistaken
about what bill was up. They i'm
agined the Liquor bill was before
them, and that the idea was to re-
duce drinks to three cents a smile,
and of course they voted for it.-Ter-
as SUtings. 8
He looked up very humbly, and
said he was sorry to be found in such
place, but he could assure the
Court that he was never in the pris-
oner's box before. Never? asked
the court, with some severity.
"Look a-here judge" said the cul-
prit, "name the fine, but, for Heavens
sake, don't spring that Pinafore gag