Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-11-02
Phun and Philosophy.

After ALL most friendships come
lightly; so, il ;;hey also go lightly, we
ought not to be astonished.
A st. Louis man who painted a
lamp-post every evening for two weeks
saw his marks on the backs of ninety
seven different loafers
When the old man CAME in, dropped
down behind the cradle ana began cry
ing, Rock and rye, baby" she Knew
what was the matter.
An EXCHANGE contains an article
on young Women WhosDie Early"
This frequently occurs, but the cases
of old women who die early are few
indeed
A st. Louis man saw painting OF
the enchanted place, with all the
guards fast asleep. and jaculated: :
"The house is pretty oldf,lshioned,
but the policemen look natural.
When real shrewd Virginia farmer
wants big tree chopped down and
cut up, he tells Lis neighbo.s that
there's coon III it, and they'll have it
down in ten minutes.
Spinks went home, the other aight,
afflicted with double vision. E.c sat
for some time with his sleepy gaze
rivited on Mrs S., and then compla-
Gently remarked: ''Well, | declare,
f you two gals don't look 'nough like
to be twins"
"Whst other business do you follow
besides preaching was asked of an
old colored man. IL speculate little"
''How speculate?" Sells chickens"
"Where do you get the chickensg"
my boys fetch 'em in" "Where do
they get them?" II doan know, sab.
Use alters so busy wild my preachin'
dat / amt got time to ak. / was
gwine to inquire de udder day, but
'vival came on an TUX up all my time"
Inquirer-Wh is the extreme pen
atty tor bigamy? Two mothers in law
"There," she she, waving her mar
rage certificate in the air, "there is the
flag of our union!"
A California paper thinks it is UNI
grateful for girls to commit suicide, it
costs so much to raise them.
The sweet girl graduate now divides
her time between the picnic and the
hammock, while her mother plays a
oClC VII VIC WdchpOhlN.
The girls of the sunny cline describe
this world as one of ''bustle, toll, and
care" We agree With them. The
women have all the hustle and the
men have the toll and care.
The mistress has gently reprimanded
her maid for oversl eeping herself in
the morning. "You see, man," ex-
MI mod tho NJ SI clonn
slowly, and so, you see, ma'am, it tax es
me much longer to get my full sleep
than it does others, you see, ma'am."
Seaside talk: "Well, as Pm sim
nerW exclaimed Miss Philadelphia 1T
Cape May, "there's that New York girl
again with another bonnet-the sixth
I've seen On her head this week. Well,
if my folks weren't received In good
society could do the same thing"
The Jester made 3 spendthrift ac-
quaintance the other afternoon, who
told him in confidence that Miss Blank
dash had rejected his suit. "Why SOP"
uered the Jester. "Well,' mourn
fully replied the sadeyed greenback-
singer, "you see, old Snip, the tailor,
told her father that | hadn't paid for
it,"
II declare, Jclia." exclaimed Mrs.
Marrowfat, as her eldest daughter
seated herself the the breakfast table,
"your lips are all broke out in rash"
Eyes" returned Julia with bashful
candor and heightened color that
looked as if the rash was spreading all
over her face, Charley has begun to
let his mustache grow again..
She hung upon the rope,
Her bosom iull of hope,
And watched the bathers grope,
Puff and blow.
But her sides she quickly jabbed
With her hand and yelled: I'm stabbed
When the lobster foIdly grabbed
At her toe,
A customer. takes back to tailor a
pair of trousers which are perfect
misft The knight of the shears is
overwhelmed with grief and surprise.
80 never Tnind," says the customer:
you'll be able to work them off on
some one else" tits nouthe loss of the
pantaoons that affects me-" says the
tailor haughtily; dit is an artists sor-
row at his failure of which you are the
uncomprehending spectator"
Jsmes Parton says that curious cir
cumstance occurred many years ago,
when testator in England left 10000
to friend, but with the condition that
one-half the sum SHOULD be buried with
+ him in his coffin. Che legstee took
advice on the matter. "Where is the
money now?' asked his friend. 'In
the bank" was the reply. 'All right"
said the adviser: write a check for
$4,000 and put it in the old mans cof-
fin payable to his order"