The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-05-04
Puts, Calls, and Straddles.
Mira Breezy, Puzzled and Curious, Demands
iYv,lzr1aef1r7

H6ra Breezy, Puzzled and Curious, Demands an
Explanation.
II believe you have gambled in Wall
street, Mr.. Breezy" said Mrs. Breezy,
helping her lord and master to 3 cup Of
coffee.
Il have speculated little in stocks,
dear, if that's what you mean" said Mr..
Breezy, unfolding his napkin.
"Same thing said Mrs. Breezy; "ycu
can call It speculation; know it's gam
bling. How do they do 1t anyway! I
read about puts and calls and straddles,
and buy three's. but csn never make
any head or tall out OF IT. suppose it's
some horrid slang you men have invent
"Wsll. no. DEAR" said Mr.. Breezy,
helping his better two-thirds to q chop.
''It isn't exactly slang. You see, for
instance, buy a hundred short
'You do whatF" cried Mrs. Breezy.
81 buy a hundred short" repeated
Mr.. Breezy.
'Well, what in the name of common
sense do you mean by thatP" asked Mrs.
Breezy. "Why don't you talk United
States-I mean EnglishP You buy a
hundred short, and what has short got
to do with lt?"
'If you will give me time 1 will OK"
plain, my DEAR" said Mr.. Breezy. You
see if man is long on stock he is-'
'Long on stock?'' said Mrs. Breezy.
"Now what are you getting to? First
you are short and then you are long.
What does a man want to get on stock
for, anywayP'
MY dear, if you will allow me-
ITO be sure. Go ahead. Tell me
something about Wall street, but don't
talk nonsense" said Mrs. Breezy
"Well. my dear, we will suppose that
I have put on Wabash, and
''There you go again." said Mrs.
Breezy. "Will you or will you not talk
in language l can understand? What
is Wabash, anyway 1 suppose it is
another slang term?''
mo, that's a stock" said Mr. Breezy;
''you see, dear, if l have q cali on Wa
bash or Northwestern"
If you call on the Northwestp" cried
Mrs. Breezy; ''are you really going mad,
Mr. Breezy? Well, might expect as
much from the life you have led recently.
What with clubs and. politics, you are
going headlong to some terrible fate
''My dear, it viii be impossible for
me TO explain anything unless you will
give me five minutes to do it in," said
MIR, Breezy, with unusual warmth
''Now, at the beginning OF this week
Omaha preferred started at 1864 anti
los -.
Omaha preferreda' asked Mrs.
Breezy. why is it preferredP Who
preferred itP What has Omaha got to
do with New York and Wall street any,
way, and what do you mean by 1063?''
Il shall have to give it up" said Mr..
Breezy in despairing voice.
mo, Mr.. Breezy. I have started out
to know something about Wall street,
and won't allow you to get out of it in
that way" said Mrs. Breezy, setting her
self more firmly in her chair. .'Now,
Mr.. Breezy, you will please drop slang
and come to something can understand.
For instance, what is bull bear?''
''Ho, ha, ha-oh!' laughed Mr.. Breezy.
"What do you mean by laughing at
me, Mr.. Breezy? I'm sure ~
"Ho, no, ha-ohr' and Mr.. Breezy fairly
doubled up with laughter.
'-Mr. Breezy, you haven't the manners
of a savage" cried Mrs. Breezy, push
ing back her hair, land don't believe
you know any more about Wall street
than two weeks old baby" and Mrs.
Breezy made Hazael time to the kitchen
to take revenge upon the cook.-Brook-
ky1, Eagle.