News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-02-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

/
COMPOSITIONS are almost always intel
: hgent men. They are men of letters
who literally pick up their knowledge
as they go along. g.-Boston Courier.
A sHREwD advertiser keeps space with
the time, runs few risks, and generally
: has walk over in his line Of trade
{ NeaO York NeeOs.
9 SOME ingenious observer has discov-
cred that there is remarkable resem-
blance between baby and wheat, since
{ it Is Graded, thrashed, and finally be-
comes the flower of the family.
THIS is an odd comparison, but very
| suggestive one:-"It is as unreasonable
to expect good to come out of evil as it
would be to take hole to a cooper and
ask him to make bucket round it."
AN exchange explains chow leather
scraps are utilized" 1t is not neces-
sary to explain how leather straps are
utilized. Nearly every boy in the land
is painfully familiar with the process
NorriStOaOn Herald.
The rural amusement of guessing at
the weight of hog has taken such O
strong hold in New York, that when a
portly individual spreads himself out so
as to occupy three seats in a crowded
street car, everybody begins to wonder
how much he weighs.
SINCE the introduction of meters in
the city, the consumption of water has
fallen off 33 per cent. in Liverpool.
Evidently water meters have not at
tanned to the exaggerated powers of
mendacity inherent in their relatives,
the gas meters. Boston Transcript.
THERE is a certain significant relativ-
ity in crime. If you steal peck of
potatoes to keep your children from
starving you are contemplate villain,
whole world shudders you can hold
levee on New Years Day and be the
observed of all observers.
A BOY who had been Watching through
a key hole the antics of couple of
lovers, ran down into the kitchen to an
nounce his discovery to his mother.
"Oh, it's such fun ~ he exclaimed.
'Whats such fun ?" asked the old lady.
"Why, to see sister Mollie and MIR.
Fipps play lunatic asylum"
A GENTLEMAN somewhat advanced in
life, and who was never remarkable for
his good looks, asked his grandchid
what he thought of him. The boys
parents were present. The youngster
made no reply. "Well, why won't you
tell me what you think of me?"
"Cause don't want to get licked" was
the answer.
ONE of the amusing sights in the cold
weather is afforded by the man who
walks carelessly and quite unconcerned-
ly along until he reaches the thermom-
eter which is exposed to view on the
street. He looks at it a moment, sees
that the mercury is very low, pulls his
collar up to his ears, shrinks up in his
coat, walks frigidly away, and exclaims,
Gracious, how cold it is 7
IT is easy to be perfectly cool when
another man is in danger and easy to
bear the Affections of our neighbors
with becoming resignation. While
Commodore Auson's ship was in a Sc
were action sailor csme rushing in With
"Sir, the ship il on fire, close to the
powder magazine !" "Well," was the
quiet reply, "why don't you run back
oDI occiOt in r,11FkiDn, ~ ont 9O
ONE downtown preacher is blest with
two sons, bright little fellows they are,
too. Now, it is the custom in that
preachers family for these two lads to
recite every morning verse of Scrip
ture. The boys were in great haste to
get out on the hill couple of mornings
ago, when the father said: Now boys,
recite your verses then you can coast"
"Pd rather be doorkeeper in the house
of the Lord than dwell in the tents OF
the wicked" repeated the older lad.
"So'd l." calculated the junior youth,
and away he flew after his sled, and the
father did not demonstrate.
AUR1sr to patient: "We'll see directly
what your difficulty of hearing arises
from. Can you hear this tick?" hold
ing out his watch. Lady: "No.
Aurist, holding it nearer: Snow, possi-
bly, ?" Lady: "No." Aurist, placing
the watch closer to the patients ear:
" Well, now, ct all eventsP" Lady:
f" Not O sound" Aurist: "Why you
must be all but stone-deaf You surely
can't understand what 1 am saying to
you ?" Lady: " Indeed can, assure
you'll" Aurist: But upon my word
He looks at the watch, then puts it to
his ear. ooh, I beg ten thousand
pardons. The watch has not been
wound upT
FOR SUNDAY REFLECTION.
A GOOD man was once asked why he
spent so much time in reading, medita-
ton and prayer. He replied by simply
uplifting his eyes and hands to heaven
and saying, with great solemnity, "For-
ever forever forever p
THERE is q strength of self-possession
which is the sign that the last hope has
departed. Despair no more leans on
others than perfect contentment, and
in despair pride ceases to be counter
acted by the sense of dependence.
THOSE who do it always would as soon
think of being conceited of eating their
dinner as of doing their duty. What
honest boy would pride himself on not
picking a pocket? A thief who was
trying to reform would. George Mac
Donald.
OUR dead are never dead to us until
we have forgotten them they can be
injured by us, they can be wronged;
they know all our penitence, all our
aching sense that their place is empty;
all the kisses we bestow upon the small
est relic of their presence.
OUR deeds determine us as much as
we determine our deeds; aud until we
know what has been or will be the pc
culiar combination of outward with in
ward facts, which constitute a mans
critical actions, it will be better not to
think ourselves wise about his charac-
ter.
1 DO NOT say to my disciples, Go and
hr old of sunerpatural power work