Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-02-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

Image.
THE lame chimney swallow has dt
fective flew.
WHERE wooden legs stand it the bsst
Under table.
IT is the lady with diamond ring on
her index finger who "points with
pride"
WHEN you feel that you really must
"take something" said an enthusiastic
temperance lecturer, 'just take walk. "
THERE are 10 pumps where the cocoa
mt grows, which, perhaps, accounts
for the milk in it Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
THE charcoal man was ont calling on
New Years Day. Everybody in the
neighborhood heard him. -.NelO Orleans
Picdytne.
II may be right occasionally to take
bull by the horns. but it is always well
to keep IN mind that the horns belong
to the bull. Glasgow Times.
WHEN Lord Erskine heard of the
death of an immensely rich man he said
quietly, "Well, he had a fine sum to
begin the other world with"
IT Is claimed that New York women
| look younger at fifty than Boston women
do at forty, or Chicago women do at
thirty. y.-Det,OH Free Press.
An exchange says the difference be-
tween a hungry man and glutton is,
" One longs to eat and the other eats
too long burlington Hawkeye.
You've men who want to marry are
respectfully referred to an Iowa girl
who recently husked fifty-one bushels
of corn between breakfast and dinner.
SHAKESPEARE asks, "What's in a
name?" Well, it is a good thing, some
times. Not necessarily for = ton,
/ but merely as q guarantee
faith
| OK Saturday Pittsburg man ar
| in Newark ordered cabman to d.
him to the Newark Steel Works, ant.
oahhy innocently took him to the City
Hall.
IT IS all humbug about tramps being
lazy and not willing to exert themselves.
One of them, near Marshall, chased a
| farmer n mile and half with a'club.-
IeraS SiftingS.
"C-o.Lo-R-s," said a Sunday-school
boy, slowly spelling it out-''coat of
many collars-why did it have to have
so many collars, teacher? So they could
lift him out of the well easy?"
Ir was the wife of President Madison
who gave young woman the famous
advice "Give your appearance careful
and serious thought III your dressing
room and forget it elsewhere.
r ..--l~l -
wedding" was the ground on which
Missouri Judge recently refused di-
voyce in case where the parties had
lived together forty-nine years.
"REAsoNs for dressing piainly on
Sunday" is the title of a little essay on
social ethics. Most of ms have the very
best reasons for dressing plainly on Sun
| day. Don't mention it.-NetO Haven
Register.
A FASHION writer says ''raised figures
produce excellent effect. Well, that de-
pends; If they are on n check, they
sometimes produce the effect of sending
the raiser to State prison. Com
mercial Bulletin.
NATURAL mistake: A man employed
as porter in a Texas hotel lifted piano
not long ago and carried it mp one flight.
He got hold of it in the darkness by
mistake, thinking he was carrying the
trunk of a Boston drummer. Boston
| Post.
INDIANA has Justice of the Peace
who decides cases according to the law
and testimony, instead of giving YER
dict for the plaintiff, and it is said that
| 4. - tl.o hrrc
brought before him. - Detroit Free
Press.
A PARIS photographer has invented
process by which hs can take hkeneas
in the one-hundredth part of second
This time is not so short, however, but
that the average boy could change his
position three or four times during
sitting. TltusuiUe World.
TINS is an Examination. See how
Sad these Boys look Look at That
Boy in the Corner. He will Pass. He
has all his knowledge at his Finger
ends. See, He puts his knowledge in
His Pocket Because the Tutor is look
ing. Come Away, Children - Yale
Record.
HELPING them to do a neighborl..
| turn: At recent trial in Ireland tr
Judge was about to pass sentence on
prisoners at the bar, Of w""rr ~
were several, when witty
rister said: "Not too long
my lord you'll want them b
to try the jury.
DrD IT ever stwike you, gel
dah, that no noah beautiful poem
"How does my lady's garden gv
was evah witten. How twooly ten
and lovely are those pwecious liz
sWith silvah bells and cookie she
and pwitty maids all in wow"
twoo. how tendah, how consummat<
duced pwecious.
We SEE that a bill for the relief
Owen Long has been recently int
duced into the House. 1t Congr
could make an appropriation for eve
body who has been Owen Long it VIC
put a good deal of money into circ
iion and revive the dropping tina'
of the country.-LdrGnlie Boomeri
EpIGRAMMATrc.
He wins at last who builds his trust
In loving words and actions just
The winter blast is stern and cold,
Yet summer has its harvest gold.
Sorrow and gloom the soul NAV me-
Yet love wrings triumph from d