davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
A Small Boys Explanation.

1t was Sunday evening. Angelica had
invited her =" best young man" to the eve
ming meal. Everything had passed off
tremendously until Angelicas seven wear
cid broke the blissful silence by exclaim-
ing:
Oh, ma, yer oughter seen Mr. Lighted
the other night, when he called to take
Angie to the drill he looked so nice sit
tim long side of her with his arm
" Fred" screamed the maiden, whose
face had begun to assume the color of a
well done crab, quickly placing her hand
over the boys mouth,
" Yer oughter seen him." continued the
persistent informant, after gaining his
breath, and the embarrassed girls hand
was removed, he had his ARM
" Freddie" !" shouted the mother, as in
her frantic attempts to reach the bows
auricular appendage she upset the con-
tents OF the pot in Mr.. Lighted's lap,
making numerous Russian war maps
over his new lavender pantaloons.
| was just going to say" the half
frightened boy pleaded between cry
and an injured whine, he had his ARM
" You boy" thundered the father,
away to the woodshed"
And the boy made for the nearest exit,
exclaining as he waltzed, " l was only
goin' to say Mr., Lighted had his army
clothes on, and I'll leave it to him if he
didn'tm
And the boy was permitted to return,
and the remainder Of the meal was spent
in explanation from the family in regard
to the number of times Freddie had to be
talked to-, for using his fingers for a
ladle.-I IOnker's Statesman.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
Geographical Names of the Peninsula.

1t was George Alfred Townsend that
pointed out the remarkable reproduction
IN Sussex county, Delaware, of the
geographical names of Sussex county,
England, and it is a fact that nothing
shows more plainly the strongly English
character of our early population than
the great preponderancc of English names
revealed by a glance at the map of the
Peninsula. On the other hand. however,
our geography has a polyglot character
that would astOnish those unaGuainted
with its minutiI, and the presence O.
many of these foreign names side by side
with those of English origin, is not always
easy to explain. Our Murderkills and
Broadkills are inherited from the Dutch
and Pencader, with a few family names,
Is Welsh, while the great personality of
Augustin Herman, the Bohemian is recall
ell in Bohemia River Manor and Mills.
and in the little village of Port Herman
Cantwell's Bridge changed its name to
Odessa, just as the place lost the growing
grain trade that suggested the new name.
1t would be good deal harder to account
for Smyrna's Eastern name and it is not
easy to say why Spaniard's Neck, Corsica
Neck and Cordova are within few miles
of ono another in Queen Anne's county.
Among all Peninsula names, however,
none are more curious and interesting
than those that have come down from the
Indians. There are comparatively few in
this county. Appoquinimink, Drawers
and few familiar names in this immedi-
ate neighborhood being notable exceptions.
but they cluster thick in the lower coun-
ties of the Eastern Shore. The sufTix
teague' or "eague' in Chincoteaoue.
Assateague, PungOteague and Wacha-
preaSue, all names of Virginia inlcts or
streams, apparently means q riyulet or
arm OF the ocean, though Chincoteague.
the most familiar to readers in general.
has been applied as we'll to an island.
The suttix " leo seems to have somewhat
the same meaning, as it appears in
Wicomico, Quantco, Rewastico and
ChlcacOmico, all Eastern Shore streams.
The same sufiiX somewhat changed may
be contained in POcOmoke and Nanticoke.
names Of well-known Peninsula rivers.
1t IS curious to trace tho presence of the
same verbal clements in Manokin. Wet
umpkin, Wetypkin, Tyasllin, and Trans
guaking, all geographical names Of the
| lower Peninsula.
good deal has been done bv local
antiquarians to sift the peculiarities ofoul
geographical names, and George Alfred
Townsend, though scarcely the man to dc
very accurate work Of this kind, impaired
to wide circle of readers some of his own
enthusiastic interest in the Peninsula
Meanwhile, however rich field remains
to any one who has the loving patience
for its exploration,-Erery Erening.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
A Question Well Put.

n valuable friend and able farmer about
the time the temperance reform was be-
ginning to exert healthful influence in
the country, said to his new hired man !:
Jonathan, did not think to mention to
you, when l hired you, that think of
trying to do my work this year without
rum. How much more must | Give Won
to do without it?
Oh, said Jonathan, don't care much
about it; you may give me what you
please.
We'll, said the farmer, I'll give you a
sheep in the fall if you will do without.
Agreed, said Jonathan.
The oldest son then said, Father. will
you give me sheep if do without rum +?
Yes, Marshall, you shall have sheep
also, If you do without rum.
The youngest son, a mere STRIPPING,
then spoke up and said; Father, will you
give nae sheep to if do without rum? :?
Yes, Chandler, you shall have sheep,
too, if you do without.
Presently Chandler speaks again.
Father, hadn't you better take shsep
yourself?
This was n poser he hardly thought he
could give up the "good creature" yet {;
but the appeal was from source not to
be easily disregarded. The result was the
the demon was henceforth banshed from
the premises, to the great joy and ulti-
mate happiness of all concerned.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
The Wonders of the Spectroscope.

But this little instrument is still more
wonderful, for it combines with its quail
ties of q trap the advantages of balance
which we may suppose is fine enough for
the most fastidious fairy to weigh the nee
tar distilled in the dew-drop, or other
delicacy OF the season. Our ideas of
weight and size are purely relative. and
that which seems a small or light object.
from one point of view, may become large
and heavy by different comparison. To
most of us perhaps, "grain weight"
suggest little thing; we know that the
apOthecary and a few other small dealers
split up the grain into halves, quarters.
tenths, and perhaps even hundreths, but
then we regard them as homeopathic Wis.
ionaries and laugh at their absurd little
pellets yet, strange to say, there is van
ishing-point in our minds, which, if an
object is small enough to pass, it becomes
larger and more important by reason of
our astonishment and wonder at its
minuteness; the most ordinary specimen
under the microscope is an evidence of
this, but when we realize that the ability
of the spectrOscOpe to reveal small parti-
cles of matter begins where the finest mi
croscOpe searches with its highest power
in vain, that the grain of matter may be
divided, not merely into hundredths, or
thOusandths, or tens of thOusandths, but
into millionths, and that II single one of
these particles may be readily detected
by this little searcher and held up for our
inspection, eur wonder and amazement
enhance cur respect for its occult powers.
The astronomer tells us that a comet often
throws out tail longer than the distance
between the earth and the sun, and broad
in proportion; yet the matter forming this
tail is so attenuated that, if properly COM
pressed, Il gentleman's portmanteau, pos
sibly his snuff-boX, might take it in. Yet
we have merely to point this little tell
tale at the comet and presto we know
what the matter Is. Think of it. Not
merely can we grasp infinitesimal parti-
cles at our hand, but we may sweep the
armament, gather up the star dust and
tell its composition. But we have not yet
reached the end of our excursion; indeed,
we have only entered the threshold of the
scientists sanctum, and the wonders of
arcanum eclipse those of the portico
That mysterious agency or force called
electricity has been utilized not merely
for the benefit of bulls and bears, or for
hundreds of utiliarian purposes with
which we are familiarized every day, but
it has been used as a fairy,Anger to probe
aatures hidden structure and, as 1t were,
enable us to feel what the spectroscope
has revealed to sight.-PopuIar Science
Monthly.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
The Lime-Kiln Club.

I" De var 1881 am passed an gone for
eber," said Brother Gardner as Samuel
Shin let the stove alone. "I see muffin
sad bout it-nuffn' to call for sigbs am
tears an groans, which kin be heard two
blocks away. We expec time to keep
dustin right along. We expec to grow
old, an. to hev gray hairs, an to cotch de
rneamatiz. OATS what we am heah fur.
Ii we could allus remain young an purity,
an part our h'ar in the middle, an war
yaller kids an smell of cologne, de under
taker an de grave digger would starve to
death"
My frens, in beginning de new wear
doan' start out on de belief dat dc louder
you talk dc mo- argument We hev.
" Doan imagine dat cherry man wild a
gift of CAB am a BON orator.
When you find quiet man doan'
rush off an gin him credit fur wisdom.
Some men doan' talk kase dey hev muffin
to say. Silence am no mo- sign of wis
dom dan poundin on an empty barl am
a sign of war
g." If argument won't bring man ober
to your side of de queshun knockin' him
down won't do any good.
DE man who can run up bill at de
butchers an dodge him for six months
am not necessarily a statesman.
" DE man who takes up dc moas side
walk, am not allus de pussen of de moas
consequence. A fifteen cent drunkard
wants mo- room in dis world dan a Judge
of de Supreme Court
" jealousy of your naybur am not am.
blshun. Slander am weapon used only
by towards. Hopin desc few remarks
won't do you any perticilar injury, VIC
will now address ourselves to de usual
PrOsrammy. .'-DetroH Free Press.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

VACCINATED ON THE EAks.-A singular
case Of contagious vaccination was report
ed at the health office yesterday. A
young lady living in West Baltimore was
recently vaccinated by prominent physis
clan and while suffering with the fever at
tending vaccination borrowed pair OF
earrings from lady friend for a day.
Upon the return of the earrings the owner
put them on, aud yesterday was astonished
to find that she was thoroughly vaccina-
ted in the ears.-Balt. Gazette.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

The Herald reporter who went to the
Elks' Ball has it pretty bad He says:
"The heaven fairly cleaned with radi-
ance. Every star shone with undiminishs
ed splendor. The moon sailed slowly
through the unolouded sky. The tenn
perature was most enjoyable. Every
thing external was perfect" And the
wine in the committee-room must have
been very plentiful.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
All Sorts From All Sources,

On guard-Your watch.
Does coalition coalesce?
No moose would be good news TO Gui-
teau.
A Sign Of spring-The bent pin an the
chair.
" Dear Nicoll'' isn't quite so numerous
just now
The Potomac Flats-Men in Washing
ton looking for office.
Fitz John Porter appears to have run
agln snag somewhere.
Jew know that the Hebrew population
of the world is 100000?
An Old Line whig One that has beer
banged up for ten years.
How nice " Me Too" Platt would look
with a collar on labelled .3O6.'
The hardest struggle that death has
with llts is when it tackles an officeboI5or
There are only three Germans in Con-
gress, and lagerbeer still sells for five cont.
a glass in Washington.
Everybody is saying that the Gaiusbor-
ouSh hat must go" Confoupd If thar.
just what 1t does do-to all the shows.
Montgomery Blair is 50 quiet these davs
mat the suspicion that he is tied with .
string is gaining ground.
Nulteau has not been presented with
one OF those 1906 Stalwart medals" Ac
he IS one of the boss Stalwarts we can't
understand this oversight.
Cincinnati boasts that it contains moro
drunken women than any city in the
United States. Newark still takes the cab.
Dage for dcad-beat cashiers.
Bob Toomba says he has been cbe,vipo
the ends of cigars for twenty-seven wears
put has never yet smoked. Now we
know where all the cigar-butts 90.
King Thecbaw, Of Burmah. has very
nearly run his royal race. He is now at.
tackled by delirium tremens, and will ouit
the earth in the company of a whole
mcnagerie Of snakes.
The present winter is said 10 be th.
most active attractive and brilliantthat ha,
ever been known in New York societ,
circles. In other words, the elephant i,
putting his foot all over pas pocketbeok
There is only one prisoner in the iail Al
Lewis county, \. V, and he says if the,
don't hurry up and arrest somebody elst
pretty quick he'll sue EN- for damages a,
he's lonesome, and wasn't sentenced +,
solitary confinement.
1t is stated that if visitor should spent
a week in Vanderbilt's house it woult
hardly DO time enough to examine apC
enjoy all that the house contains of archi
tectural and artistic beauty. A tram,
would probably faint away in the door
way.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

A WORLD OF GoOD.-One of the most
popular medicines now before the Ameri-
can public is Hop Bitters. You see it
everywhere, People take it with good
effect. 1t builds them up. 1t is not as
pleasant to the taste as some other Bitters,
as it is not whiskey drink. 1t is more
like the old-fashsionsd bone-set tea, that
has done world of good. If you dou't
feel just right, try Hop Bitters,-Nunda
Ne1pS
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
Hovesyille. Ohio. Feb. II 1880.

HayesUIIle, Ono, FEB. II, I8SO.
1 am very glad to say have tried Hop
Bitters, and never took anything that did
me as much good. / sHly took two bot
ties and 1 would not take $100 for the
good they did nae, | recommend them TO-
my patients, and get the hest result from
their use. G. B, MERCER, NJ D,
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

Every one, says the New York Sitn,
who abhors the brutality of prize fights
should feel kindly toward Mr.. Sullivan,
who has just beaten Ryan. Mr.. Sullivan
has probably put an end to heavy weight
prize fighting. 1t is altogether inproba-
BILE that for many years man will be
found who would dare to face him in a
prize ring. He cared nothing for Ryan's
blows, and his own hitting is 50 tremend-
Gus that it seems beyond the power of
one of his hands let out from the shoulder.
Mr.. Sullivan is only twenty-three years
and few months of age, and 30 long as
he retains his health and strength, there
is little likelihood of his being called on
to defend the worlds championship.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

ClrHERED OUT.-An old darkey, who
works around town by the day and is
very proud of his reputation for extra
ordinary ability in ciphSring, called on
Gilhooly yesterday with a view to get a
settlement, in cash, for work doae in Gil,
hoOly's garden.
" "Well, Uncle Ren," said the Major,
"how much do owe you?"
Z" Use worked for ye 'leben days at a
dollar day, boss, an if yer hand me a
piece of paper an pencil I'll cipher it
out fur yer" Uncle Ben got the paper
and pretended to figure on it, he said :
Leben days at dollar day. Lemme
me see oughts ought, cipher's cipher,
figures figure, two ter carry an one to
throw away. 'Leben dollars, by gosh /!
Boss yer owes me prezackly 'leben dol
lars. ."-Galreston NeWs
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
THE LATEST OBITUARY POEM

THE LATEST OBITUARY POEM.--
While in this earth sweetly sleep.
Around my grave my parents weep;
Hush, dear parents, l am your love-
Happy with Jesus, dwell above
Like a rose in early morn,
Was our sweet Maggie from us torn;
Faded lilies, like winters breath,
She is now locked in the cold arms of death.
My shroud is damp,
My face is white.
It's here now must sleep;
1t is your tears that wet my shrOud.
Dear mamma don't you weep.
Papa's pride,
Philadelphia Ledger
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

CARP.-The German carp, the valuable
foolish recently introduced to this cOun-
try, is making its way to all parts of it
with great rapidity. Mr.. Abel Wright,
who began with two or three dozens of
the carp three years ago, thinks that he
now has at least million in his pond at
Griffen, Ga. He has sold more than 5000
at 500 a hundred, and cannot keep up
with his orders. He bears out Mr.. Seth
Green's statement that one can almost
see the carp grow, so rapidly does it in
crease in size. Mr.. Green asserts that an
acre of water can be made as profitable as
an acre of land, and it does not cost much
to make the experiment.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
For the Smyrna Times
FROM SAD TO SADDEST.

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these; 1t might have been"
" II might have been" is sad. no doubt,
But sadder far ken.
Were it to say: 1t is, Nh me.
That it had never been
Love hath aesthetic joys It's true
Yet it's to pain close kin,
And they who most have loved have most
Wished love had never been.
Then haste you not to wed. sweet girl:
lis not the bliss yOn ween,
And the saddest things to welded be
And wish you ne'er had been"
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

SMALLPOX HoRRORs.-The prevalence
Of smallpox throughout the country has
caused some strange exhibitions of fright
and seltishncss. Only nine miles out of
st. Louis negro lay sick with the disease
on pile of straw at the roadside. The
next morning he was discovered, and as
the weather had been cold it is probable
that he was badly frozen; but nobody
would go to his aid, and he was left to
die alone, which he did after another
night Of exposure. An Indian woman
was similarly left to herself in a suburb of
Cincinnati After her death the shantv
In which her body remained was set ON
fire by throwing blazing wads of straw at
it. Three children were abandoned bv
their parents at Selma, Tenn, and in this
case there was not the excuse of real
danger, for the father and mother had
been protected by recent vaccination. In
Wisconsin lumbermen's camp three men
were left by their companions with food
and water for only three days. After
that they would have starved to death
had not man, who heard of their plight
through the fugitives, gone to their
succor. On the other hand, cases of self
sacrificing bravery are also numerous.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
An old couplet used to read:
"Ispent my days in idle mirth.
And danced by soul To hell"

Every one has a will and mind to
think for himself, yet many will go about
hacking and coughing until a friend
recommends DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup for
that cough.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

The report of the Chief of Police of
New York in reference to secret crime
says that 95 out of every 100 of the women
who are found in houses of i'll fame COM
msnced in the public dance.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

An article so favorbly known as HALLS
Hair Renewer needs no words of praise
from us. 1t has won its way to the high
est favor in the public mind, and multi
tudes who have vainly used other
preparations have, on trying this, been
made glad by the speedy restoration of
abundant locks as in the days of youth.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

The question of temperance is one that
is pressing our State and National Lcgiss
lators more and more every year, and
like slavery the rum traffic is bound to so
under
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

The rum traffic and polygamy are the
two cancers that are gnawing at the vitals
of our government.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

The Rev Mr.. Milne, the successor of
Robert Collysr in the pastorate of the
First Unitarian Church of Chicago, is
asked to resign on account of his disbelief
in the existence of the Deity and the per-
sonal immortality of the soul. The con-
gregation cannot be accused of bigotry in
requesting him to leave the pulpit. A
man who has no faith in God or a future
life may have useful career in this world,
but his proper place IS plainly in some
more material occupation than the min
istry,
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

Only seven days from the beginning OF
Lent. Time to get in all your light fan
tastic tripping,
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

Pref, David Swing says that the novel
is the worlds truth with a beautifuI
woman walking through it,
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

Much serious sickness and suffering
might be prevented by promptly correct
ing those slight arrangements that, other
wise, often develop into settled disease.
When a cold or other cause checks the
operation of the secretive organs, their
natural healthy action should be restored,
and inlammatory material removed from
the system. Ayers Pills accomplish this
quickly. safely and surely.
Smyrna times., 1882-02-15

Months afterward-before the minstrels
crossed the sea-a letter reached them
burdened with the news of Cherry and
Cherry's baby. Then the simple souvenir
came-the picture of the beaming face
and fairy figure with young arms bound
about its tiny, wide-eyed counterpart, 1t
fills to-day prominent place among the
Treasures of the company's travels.
New-York tribune., 1882-02-19
yEW UNDERGROUND TELEGRAPH.

The full sum of 81, 900 required to lay and test
the underground telegraph wires on the pan W oi
Char es L. Gore of which THE TRIBUNE Inaue lIieli
tiOn last week has been subscribed. ana tla "ot t
will be begun at once SUBSCRIPTIONS ~ my n.op ~
fifty shares were limited to two and hali Snarti
from any one person or the wnOlc amour! T;uhL ht
have been obtained from one OF the electric ugnt =
compInies and from the Mutual District
Messenger Company. The original, subscribers
who risk their money in thoroughly teSilhB
the scheme will he entitled for every sharo
10 FORTY shares of the stock of the company Mhich
wi il be formed soon as the teSt Is lnau' ~ !, -
successful Among those who have thus subscribed
are Henry w. Pore, of the Mutual Robert brown
of the Ne r0polItan relcpho e ana lelegraph Gon-
many. George SEQ IT, the electrician; eX-Judge ff'e-
man j. FIhian, County Auditor Daniei Jackson
Bdo nh Hallgarten and f.. W. Sap0rtas, banker; ;
United States Marshall Henry T.. Knox, IGa'T
Richmond. n. G.. Miller, J. n. WI slow and H. C.
Va entinp The patent in this case was not obtained
until after serious contes' lasting over year, th
applica ion of Mr.. Gore being opposed on the gIolh
that the material used by him as an insulatcr MA
long been used as an indispensable article 10 GUS
pended wires. But the patent WAS hnally Rian,tfu leu
on the ground that this was the first use OF the
material as an nsulatOr. On tins plan the Ordinary
conner wire used for telegraphic purposes IL mace
into cable of any dcsiri bic Thickness, ana cach
wirr i, ctcct ly separated from the others ny be-
ing run through ass beads arranged so clOacly TO-
petber that the sag cf the wires VIII not OlhG lnem
in o con.act Tuey can he enclosed in an Ordinary
lead pipe, and lai 9TH or without other cover or
DrOtection The expense Is not over ToO per lnll.,
hIle the cheapest submerged or unCcr round CAME
has cost Is 30 DER mil. An inch lead pipe VIII con
Ia IN rab.c of tOr,y-tive wiz S; tWo-lnch pipc,
40 wires; ani 50 on III propjIto lattiy InoIcaSi5
ratio. Permission viii b, a-ked of the Ponce and
Fire Commi siOncrs to the test wire by the SIC
of the one they are now testing between thelr rc-
spccuve headquarters.
New-York tribune., 1882-02-19
NEW-JERSEY.

PATERsoN.-In the Pas,aic County Orphans
Court at Paterson, n. j., Yesterday, the jndg -
bate Of the vii of Sarah p. Dale. Mrs. Dale was
the widow of Thomas \. Dale, prominent silk
manufacturer of New-York and Paterson, and VIII n
she died an estate valued at 500 900 was left to her
older son, T. ~ Dale. His bro her, Frederick ;.
Dale. contested the will on the grounds of testa-
Inentary incapacty and undue influence