davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

UNDER the circumstances: "How far
is it to Clydep" asked a weary-Ioohng
tramp on the tow-path of an urchin the
other day. Nine miles, replied the
lad. "Nine miles yet" exclaimed the
footman. Are you sure?" "Well," "
said the sympathetic youth, seeing
you are pretty tired, will call it seven. L"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

''HERE's your matchl" said G--to
a conceited wag, handing him a match.
''By Lucifer, ought to be offended, +"
said the wag, taking a cigar from his
pocket, "but I'll make light of 1t.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

ANEoDoTE of M. de LIE seps: One of
his little ones had boil at the fingers
end; arrived at maturity. papa under.
took to pierce it. Chow you tremble T.
said Nine. de Lesseps, afraid of the i'm
provised surgeons experiment. "Trem-
BILE tremble at plerceing fester-I,
who have pierced an Isthmus 2
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

WHERE ignorance is bliss NO."
said she to the waiter, "no, do not
care for soup, but you may bring me
some Of that"-and she pointed to Con-
somme Brunoise On the bill of fare |
Where ignorance is bliss 1t is the height
of absurdity to be intelligent.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

PROGRESS Arthur to Raoul-''WeGl
did you kill many partridRes ?""Not one !;
but still l am vely well satisfied with
came much nearer than last
year -
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

TAXING orders: ''Se Henry has grad
uatedr" remarked friend of the family.
"What is he to choose as a profession ?
Take orders, suppose" "Ah," replied
Henry's father, plain, common-sense
man, "you don't know the boy. l
should laugh to sec him taking orders
from any one"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
"AlI Ought to Know"

T1UsvILLR, Pa, March II, 1881.
III. II. WARNER & Co. SiTS-I am
fully salts fed that your Sale kidney and
Liver Cure saved my life, and that l
would have been dead months ago had
not used It, l look upon 1t as great
blessing to mankind and u ely that all
ought to know. j. A. CoUPANT.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

THERE Is no surer way to destroy the
borers than to dig for them with pointed
knife and kill them when found. # they
are high up they may be crushed with a
wire pushed up into the boles. Coal ashes
spread around the trees are beneficial. The
wounded parts may be covered with a
mixture of fresh cow dung and clay.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

OLD meadows should have a sprlnkling
of fine manure early III the Autumn to
give the grass a good start again before
Winter. We do not believe In pasturing
meadows much, if any, after the hay crop
has been removed.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

VEGETINE.-Tne srcat success Of the
"Vegeune' as a cleanser and purifier :.
the blood is shown beyond doubt by the
great numbers who have taken 1t, and re-
ceiyed immediate relief, with such remark
able curea
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

HARRowNG-Tourist-"1 say, my
man, do you know the way to Harry?"
Rustic (contemptuously)-"The way to
arrerl D'you think I spent nigh on
forty years on this 'ero farm, and dunno
how to 'arrer?'"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

En- easy job Robinson (after a long
whist bout at the club)-"It is awfully
late, Brown. What will you say to
your wife ?" Brown Tin a whisper)-
"Oh, l shan't say much, you know.
Good morning dear or something of
that sort. She'll say the resi-"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

A BLIND pool: trust you are putting
few pennies aside in your savings
bank" said fond father to his son,
who was beginning to earn money by
doing erranas and odd jobs. "Not any,
pa. Ever since I saw you shaking out
a dime from 1t I have regarded it as a
blind pool. 1 have no faith in it F"
That ended the boys catechism for that
day,
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

WESTERN marvels A Denver paper
processes to think it marvellous that a
man who's brains were knocked out is
still living. If he were out this way he
would not only be living, but would be
holding some important office.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

A CRUSHED smoker: That was a rather
unkind remark which q grabbed old fell
low made the other day to one of those
little boys who smoke cigarettes and
offered him one. "No, thank you," he
said; I'm old enough to smoke cigars. &"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

AN old bachelor leaving his boarding
house for weeks journey, after TAX
ing leave of his landlady, stepped up to
o salt mackerel on the table, shook him
by the tail, and said: "Good-by, old
fellow, I will see you when 1 return"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

PROMPTLY answered The following
advertisement appeared in daily news
paper recently and was answered by
about 500 young men "Wanted-Ex-
perienced hands ON ladies waists.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
FAYOTitlsn

is bad thing. but DIR. Pierce's ''Favorite
Prescription" deserves It's name. Ii Id o
certain cure fdt those painful maladies and
weaknesses which embitter the lives of 80
many women. OF druggislA
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

THERE is no gain in plowing ZIP sod land
in the fall. The most approved practice
in the culture of Indian corn, which re-
qulres greater degree of heat than other
crops, is to plow in the spring, turning the
sod under of sufficient depth to allow just
enough soil for properly covering the seed.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

A WIFE, having lost her husband, was
inconsolab:e for his death. "Leave me
to my grief" she cried, sobbing; "you
know the extreme senslbIlity of my
nerves; a mere nothing upsets them"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

II bilious, or suffering from Inpu-lty of
blood, or weak lungs and fear consumption
(scrofulous disease of the lungs), take DIR.
PieFce's Golden Medical Discovery" and
1t will cure you. BY druggists.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

L had severe attacks Of kTavel and KID
ney trouble; was unable TO get medicine
or doctor TO cure me until | used Hop Bit
ters, and they cured me in "A short tune
A DISTINGUISHED LAWYER OF WAYNE Co.,
N, Y
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

BARLEY is one Of the best grains for a
soilIng crop 1t grows more vigorously at
the start than oats and has peculiar rich,
sweet flavor which all ANIMALS relish. 1t
should be cut, however, before getting into
head,
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

Mr.. GUNYER sold his irish setter
because he said, the dog had no scent.
That's nothing. He'd dollar if you'd
kick HIM, which is hundred fold bet
ter.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

THE annual wheat crop of Minnesota is
gloritied in the four quarters OF the globe,
while the hay crop stays quietly at home
and Is seldom ever thought of by the out
side world. Yet its value this year IS
reckoned at nearly 500, 600, 900. The crop
Is estimated at l 500, 00G tons of wild hay
and 300, 900 of cultivated.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

IT has been well demonstrated that IN
case of all live stock clean and open con-
dition of the skin is conducive to health
and economical feeding, and no labor in
the barns is more proftably expended than
that which is employed ID a thorough
cleaning, not only of the horses, but also
of the cattle,
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
Catarrh of the Bladder.

Singing. smarting, irritation OF the urinary
passages. diseased discharges, cured by Bu-
chupAibA 81 at druggists. Prepaid by ex-
press $1.25, 6 for IS. f. s. WELLS, Jersey
City N J.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

DIR. KIine's Great Nerve Restorer is the
marvel OF the age for all nerve diseases. AL
fits stopped free. Send to 9S1 Arcb Street.
Philadelphia. Pa
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

*Wonen that have been pronounced in
durable by the best physicians have been
completely cured by Lydia E. PInkhanl's
Vegetable Compound.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
*.*"Better be wise by the misfortunes

*.*"Better be wise by the misfortunes
of Others than by your own." Take warn
ing in time. Avoid quack nostrums by
which thcusands annually perish. Use
only such remedies as are demonstrated
above Suspicion, foremost among which Is
Kldney-Wort. For torpid liver, bowels or
kidneys. no other remedy equals 1t. 1t Is
sold in beth dry and liquid form by all
druggists.
Bd~For one dime get package OF Dia-
mond Dyes ut the druggists They color
anything the simplest and most desirable
colors.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

BREEDERS have noticed that q remarka-
BILE development OF the tendency to ley on
fat is usually accompanied by dehcacy
of constitution. a diminished secretion Of
milk, and loss of fecundity. Very fat
animals are not likely to be good breeders;
IN fact. the excessive production of fat is
Incompatible with high development of
the reproductive powers.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

AS regards the exports of hops in 1878,
we marketed rs 949 bales abroad; in 1869,
SO, 563 bales. In 1881 our exports were
but 80, 015 bales, the lowest aggregate for
seven years. In 1874 we exported but
1888 bales; in 1878, 9315, and IN 1872,
6095 bales From 1875 to 1882 our exports
averaged nearly As. 600 bales per annum.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
Aliens Brain Food,

Cures Nervous Debility and Weakness
of Generative Organs, 81 all druggl sts
Send for circular. Aliens Pharm acy
3l3 First av. N. 7.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

BUYING wheat bran AMI cotton seed meal
for feeding milch cows, in connection with
fodder grown on the farm, is one method
of buying fertilizers for the soil. When
large quantities of either of these grains
are purchased, fed iudicIously and the ma
nure saved, farm should not grow poor
er, even though the milk be sold for cheese
making,
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
HUMOROUS.

THERE is a church in Michigan which
has been struck by lightning q dozen
times, and now whenever the preacher
shows signs of getting long-winded and
passing from his "seventhly" to an
"eighthly," the organist slyly initiates
the sound of approaching thunder on
the pedals. The way that preacher
dives into the conclusion, and rushes
through it and starts the doxology is a
caution. The congregation would not
part with that orgalnst for 81 900, 900.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

MAKING COMP )sT.-The usual proper
tioAs Tor compost of manure, puck, lime,
and ashes are 10 loads of muck, spread
evenly for a bottom, in pile about 10
feet wide and 10 feet long. Then three
or four bushels of fine air r-slaked lime and
as much ashes mixed as much as possible
with the muck by leaving the muck rough
ly spread. then load OF manure; then 10
loads of muck and lime and ashes as be-
tore, and so on until the heap Is five feet
high. This will give about so to 100 loads,
which is enough for one heap. 1t will
soon heat but not enough to hurt, as the
muck will require q good deai of heat TO
rot it. But If 1t is turned over and we'll
mixed once in the winter 1t will be in fine
condition by the spring, and Will make a
rich top dressing for fall gram or grass.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

Sralghten your old boots and shoes with
LYONS Patent Heel Stiffeners, and wear
again.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

WHERE one wishes to keep large num-
Der of fowls, and to raise early chicks, a
two-story fowls house will be just the
thing.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

A PULLET owned in Mlddlebury, VT,
has distinguished herself by building a
nest in poplar tree, fifteen feet from the
ground, where she flies every day and
lays an egg. And the owner distinguishes
himself every day by taking ten cents
worth of time and heap Eof vexatlon to
climb up the tree and get the egg, which
is worth about two cents.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

PAsTURING wheat land is not common;
but Mr.. John Rosser, IN the RurGL World
says that as soon as his wheat is an inch
high he turns In his sheep, changing them
every two weeks, and keeps them there all
winter. They come off in the spring quite
fat. He pastures 375 head on fifty five
acres, and they cannot feed it down. He
believes that the treading of the wheat is
benefit, to say nothing of the evenlv-spread
droopings. The yield is from % to 40
bushels of wheat per acre. Heclslms that
the first growth of wheat dies off anyhow,
and the sheep do not rob the plants. Net
only does he obtain good crop of wheat.
but the profits from the sheep are no small
items, while the land is benefited instead
Of injured.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

From John Kuhn, Lafayette. Ind. who announces
that he is now in perfect health" we have the fol-
lowing. Zone year ago 1 was. to all appearance. In
the last stages of Consumption. Our best physi-
clans gave my case up. i finally got so low that
our doctor said could not live twenty-four hours.
My friends then purchased bottle Of DIR. VIM.
HALLS BALSAM FOR THE LUNGS. which con-
siderably benefited me. continued until took
nine bottles. / am now In perfect health, having
used no other medicine.
DR. DEWITT C. KELIINGER'S LINTNERNT is an
infallible cure for rheumatism, Sprains Lameness
and Diseases of the Scalp, and Tor prE-~"~Gn0 the
growth of the Hair.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

The BEST FARM HoRsEs.-fears ago,
when faster horse than then existed was
desirable, there was reason In the attempts
to improve the speed of the animal, but
there is hardly doubt that the good of the
farmer mas been nearly lost SIGHT cf In the
desire to get horses of great speed. The
best farm horse is the strong horse, and
one that can step out lively, and has en-
durapce to get through days work with
cut great fatigue. The business of raising
fast horses is altogether distinct from the
business of the farmer. 1t is source of
excitement to see horse race but when q
farmer thinks the horse he sees racing Is
enc he ought to have on his farm he makes
mistake. The heavy Norman horse
would be more profitable than the one
which is simply trotter.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

LATIN is a dead language, and this is
why the doctors use it III writing out
their prescriptions.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
FEMALE WEAKNESS.

ST. LOUIS, Mo-, March 10, 1877.
MR. II. r STEVENS:
Dear Sr-After having paid over four hundred
dollars during the past two wears, for doctors for
INV WIFE who has been q sufferer from deranRe-
ment OF the womb was recommended 10 try
VEGETlNE. She has now taken four bottles OF
IL and IL has done her more good than anything
else, and am encouraged 10 think she Will be
once more in good health.
am with respect, yours,
HENRY 'SPECHER,
Book Springs City.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
%S7

TnOs0 Snswerlng nm Advertisement WII
onnf9R q xaV0r upon the Advertiser and Gh
RIcNsheK byStatinE thatthOy Ea w the AaVeB
nSe@e@a h AhIn IOUPna llDAwlnR tho PAPER
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
AGRICULTURE.

Ducks. s.-Light-colored ducks are always
of mlder flavor than their darker brethren
and those which are reared exclusively on
vegetable diet will have winter and more
de,lcate flesh than those allowed tn feast
on animal offal. The flesh of birds fatten-
ed on animal food will be irmer than the
other, and have a gamy favor. The an
clent notion that ducks whose beaks have
tendency to curve upward are better lay
ers than another sort Is simply absurd-all
ducks are good layers If they are carefully
fed and tended. Ducks generally lay in
the night or early IN the mornug. While
she IS in perfect health she will do this;
and one of the surest signs of indisposiuon
among birds of this class is irregularlty in
laying. The eggs laid will invariably near
ly approach the color of the layer-light-
colored ducks laying white eggs, and brown
ducks greenish-blue eggs. Dark-colored
ducks lay the largest eggs, One time OF
day the notion was prevalent that duck
would hatch no other eggs than her own;
tins is not true; nevertheless it will be as
well to match the ducks own eggs as near
ly as possible, for have known instances
where the duck has turned out of nest and
destroyed eggs differing from her own IN
size and color. The simple way to tatten
ducks is to let them have as much sub
stantial TODD as they will eat. They will
require no crammiag, as does the turkey
and some other pouliry-they will cram
themselves to the verge of suffocatlon;
they should, at the same time, be allowed
plenty of exercise and clean water. BrWs-
ed oats and pea-meal Is the standard fat
tening food for ducks.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

EVERYBODY should send 25 cents to
Srswbridge & Clothier and receive their
Fashion Quarterly for six months.
Nearly 1000 illustrations and four pages
of new music In each issue.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30

Vegetine is sold by all Druggists.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1882-11-30
Automatic Engines.

M@aiAble. Durable and Economical gUH gsEr~aA
aOgsc p0teer cSth n Aw nSet QG tpuaaT G&oR ass e@
ESaR5aSG sRfh not htted with On AutoInm4b@ Cut-@&
SeRd for Illustrated Catalogue 81. for lnfcgrnahaA@
Srlges. I'D. WV. PAYsK q SOFA Boz 90 QnEnlnGa -
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-08-18
Cuttlensh.

The d" arms" or " feet of the cuttle-
fish demand somewhat detailed men,
ton, on account of their armature. In
all cuttlefiShes, save the exceptional
pcarly nautilus. the arms are either eight
or ten in number. and are provided with
dcetabnin, or suckers" Those cuttles
in which ten arms are present-and of
these the squids and sepias form good
examples-havc two of these appendages
produced beyond the remaining eight in
length. Aristotle noted in his day this
popularity of the tcn-armed cuttles.
Speaking on this point he remarks that
all of these animals have eight feet
provided with Il double series of suckers,
except in one genus of PolypT'-the
genus Eled0ne, in which there is but a
single row of suckers. "The sepia, teut-
hides and teuthi Chat is TO say, the
sepias and squids) have besides two long
prObOscitieS, the extremities of which are
beset with double series of suckers"
The two .'proboscdcs' of Aristotle are
the " tcntaclcs" of the modern natural
ist; and Pliny, speaking of the uses of
these tentacles, remarks that they may
be used for the capture of prey at dist
ance, or may be employed to anchor
their possessors safely amid the bolster
Gus waters. The suckers" which con-
Stitute a most noteworthy armament of
the arms, are borne on short stalks in
the ten-armed cuttleiishes, but are un-
stalked in the eight-armed species. Each
sucker exhibits all the structures incl
dental to an apparatus adapted To secure
effective and instantaneous adhesion to
any surface. 1t consists of horny or
cartilagnous cup, within which are mus
cular fibers converting toward its CEN
ter, where they form well-deiined plug
orpiston. BY the withdrawal of this plug
partial vacuum is produced, and the
suckers adhere by atmospheric pressure
to the surface on which they are placed.
The sucker is released by the projection
of the plug and by the consequent de-
struction of the vacuum. The number
of the suckers varies, but it is always
considerable; and when we reflect that
the array of suckers can be inslantane-
ously applied, and that their hold is au-
tomatically perfect, the grasp OF the
cephalopods is seen to be of the most
efficient kind. In some cuttleiishes, and
most notably in the so-called "hooked
squids" (OnychOteathiS,) the pistons of
the suckers are developed to form pow
erful hooks, by means Of which the prey
may be secured with additional facility;
and in the common squids the margin OF
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-08-18
Late Fashion Notes.

Brown Scotch tweed is an exceed
inely fashionable material for trav-
cling dresses this year. The new
of copper and bronze, and is very
handsome in effect.
Eglantine pink, lemon-coiored, and
pale blue cashmere tea dresses, pro-
fusely trimmed with cream white lace
and silk embroidery, are the prettiest
dresses for the warm season which have
yet appeared.
A stylish carriage dress is made of
dark green satin with a short visite of
the same lined with gray silk and closed
with silver buttons. The Buckingham
tunic opens over round undershirt
trimmed with satin plaitings, and is
caught midway on the front of the skirt
with large bow of satin ribbon with
floating ends. The Vandyke hat of dark
green satin braid is trimmed with moss
green feather tips and cluster of blush
roses.
The wide Tyrolese and Gainsborough
hats rival the London Witch and Queen
Nab bonnets in general favor, while the
close little cap bonnets beloved by
Frenchwomen are smaller, flatter, and
more fashionable than ever. Among a
number of pretty French hornets is
GipSy shape made of Tuscan lace of an
unusually yellow hue. Outside is
wreath of scarlet honeysuckles and a
bunch of perfumed Isabella roses. The
lace crown is covered with amber beads,
and the strings are of yellow net work.
ed with beads and caught together by a
bit of scarlet honeysucklc.
The most fashionable styles in walk
ing costumes are those which show q
perfectly plain skirt formed of some rich
material, gored in French fashion, thus
giving it the cachet seen upon no other
skirt. Around the bottom is placed
full rampant" outstanding ruche, which
constitutes the only trimming. Above
this is worn short polonnaiSe with full
short p0nts at the side, or a pointed
bodice and tunic with panniers. To be
worn with these are handsome jackets
or visites to correspond. Later on,
shoulder capes-lncroyable, EaEdyke,
Mother Hubbard, Quaker, and Carrack
will take the place of these wraps.
Pelerines of every description are to be
more in vogue than ever the coming
season.
Various shades of gray will be much
worn the coming season. Steel gray
will be adopted by elderly ladies, while
softer hues, showing sheen of pearl or
silver, will be used for youthful wearers.
A very handsome dress, designed for a
stately matron in this city, is made of
''winter sky" silk, with Louis XIV.
bodice of the same, and panniers of rich
black lace. Over the shoulders is draped
large bertha of the same lace. A Sec
ond dress is of the most delicate shade
of silver gray, with a triple-plaited ruche
around the foot of the skirt. The
sharply peaked bodice is trimmed with
pearl beaded point applique lace. The
sleeves are very tight to the arm, and
over these are to be drawn very long
pair of silver gray dressed kid gloves,
which are to reach to just above the
elbow.-N. Y Ercning Post.