The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-02-04
w1d and Impossible Rcmanoaa
Told.
4 X0ntuckian'o 9torios Ov.r.haA.
owed by tho Oold-Blooded
Lie OF the Artist
Prom Ohio.

| tlme ana introduced the princiD0ls
Colonel Mulhattan, u tall, slim, dark
man, who has never been seen to laugh
but once, bears national reputation o
fabrication. Subsidiary to his profes.
| sion as liar, he passed his time rs
drummer, aud in that capacity has, OF
course, had unusual facilities for becoIn-
; ing accomplished iu his chosen protes-
sion. The Colonel makes his home in
this city. Major Brixindine ia. ON the
other hand, halter Of Cincinnati. His
celebrity, though not so extensive az that
OF his opponent, appeared from the out
set to be strong among those who knew
him, and he was hacked heavily and
confidently. Some said they would put
their money on any man. however un-
known, who came from Ohio, simply on
the strength of the ability ut fibbing dis
played by residents of that State In gen-
erai. In matter Of odds, though, the
I.Ouisvillian lesi.
Before opening the ring the referee
read the rules and regulations which
had been adopted governing the great
international reminiscent tournament
between Colonel Joseph Mulhattan and
Major L. Brize,dine, held at Louisville,
ky., Deccmlet 10th, tor the champion
slip ri tine world.
Colonel Mu!lattan shall have the
opening, and Major Brizcndirc the
close.
Neither contestant shall, during his
opponents recital, receive any comfort
from the slxctat ~.
Tic narratives are to bc confined
strictly 10 personal experience.
rlr ur lergyMl;,l formation uf the
sell If X" ltuci.y and encounters with
Ill Il
81 bjacts f'r discussion.
LIE ABOUT AN OPERA BAr. -
After some explanation Of the diff
ferent rules, the Colonel stepped out
amid lavish applause, and opened
the onslaught. He began the first
round in a very unpretentious way.
AT the Gcntcr opera last night" he
said, awakening the curiosity Of all to-
see how he could make lie out of any
thing that had happened - near home
and 10 recently, =; saw a young man
who had just put up $3.50 Of his $40 sal
AIRY, to take his girl. 1t was his mis-
tortUr" 70 sit just behind an elderly
lady v'ho wore one Of the big hats 50
affe; tod 1t present by DANES over thirty
year If age. During the first act the
young man twisted his collar lcOse in the
effort to see around that hat. All in
vain. He heard the sounds Of vocal
music, and the interest evinced by
ne;ghbOrs with lorgncttes III dictated that
persons were moving about Oh the stage.
Presently the lady looked around to see
how the smith girls were dressed, and
noticed the young mans distress. oh,
SIR she said, as tear; came into her
eyes, Il am 20 young and gitldy that !
did not think Of your pleasure ut first.
But now must show repentance. Per-
nit me- and she removed her hat and
laid it ON til &c floor, 80 that the young
man could see the STAGE
1t was evident that the story had made
a dec, impression, and that Colonel
Muiilattan had sustained the high csti-
nation in which he had SO long been
hid.
Az OHIO MAN NAMED SMITH.
Though Major Brizcni:ne received
little sympathy as he rose, anal was, III
fact. advised liy many to give up the
struggle, lie ccuragcc.:siy persisted. and,
ix:Ur,. closing, completely changed t:?c
tide O! things by the following:
.:Whcrc l vas horn, in the n"rtI,"rl
part Of Ohio, there liye'! man nar''!
smith. He had several SONS. One q!
these WAS named John. As Il baby
.Jrhn was never known to cry. He
never swallowed u copper. lie never
.,mk.,; his toe. AZ Il ts,y, John wac
never known to pat hus,hlc;"s's in lis
!,r,t;,er>. beds. Ike never lett the i,arS
down. never climlxs( out the hack
window ut night tO go coon hunfing.
he never pu, Il pin under Il 10y at
...,,mI. He never told his teacher tina:
ne knew the answer to q Question. h;;t
could not rx.iia il. He never ste be-
tween meals. Still he did not die. l
r,,.at dramatically, hs did not :!ir. lie
grow ur sac! would ju>i IS sH"n III
e:.,:ri,: horing pot:,ocs i'll his >:'l:t
sleeve. when Miss JONES passed a. not.
IKE never stole lard TO- grease his l:,!r.
H,. would just as lief read book t" his
o..i grandmother a. play "ic-trnt ANTE
,.,hry in tho barn with tn other boys:
Two girls were after him. on' ':d
SA,u..I in her own name and hvett III
another State. The other didn't l''ea
red ard didn't live M':c than IL h'i:t
rem i.is fathers home. let ne mar
RED tie !nMl home girl, anu i""er
threatened to get divorce. hc uiun
ret mad and swear ilei! he 'oahu mat
his wires pretty tectn were '"l:e.
..,,cw Of tobacco. He Was elected
to Congre.. without spending cent OF
NV: wdt %s sss ak %sa,S S.vy w' Sesn
snh."n,l to recognize afterwar1. In
I,ou.rrcss he never promised his HMe To-
y. .;nul.. member in considerable" ~
that member: promising to vH,e a with !"
hin, ut some time. I'm .tssvln!s hohls 10
,n i to Washington he never travelled
n. r u. to Nia:s:.ra Falls, sar',toxa: LoaS
i Hr.mch or other pleasure resorts and
then charged up the mileage t" the Gov
"He alstaincl from taking brides:
H.. ,aver told the Congressional printer
:y!% Fl n* . fs: sae x' i : :1% es:
un'e..s s =. ''''' He died. and 80 great was
t tbe love Of the people for him that 1 not not
. :inrie one came to his funeral TOR the
mere ss%t purpose Of getting hack ,;, ride"
| . .n ". this hut all to no purpose. In
..'sts of his most strenuous exert1ons the