The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-06-23
WHY WE LAUGH.
Every house has its skeleton; boarding.
houses half dozen sometimes.

Every house has its skeleton; boarding.
houses half dozen sometimss.-Syracuse
Times.
"Who shall decide when doctors disagree?"
We don't know who should, but we know
that the undertaken generally does.-Puck.
A Kansas man ate twenty-one boiled eggs
In seven minutes and thereby won a bet of
two dollars, but two dollars do not 60 far to-
ward paying for funeral.
Guiteau says he is a firm believer in the
Indians hunting ground. Along in the
evening Of June 30th he'll be hunting ground
to cool his feet.-Walia Wdlld Statesman.
"Great truths are often said in the fewest
words" Do you mean the remark Of the
Indian who, sitting upon wasp's nest, arose
and remarked: a" Heap hell ?"-Boston Post.
Lotta writes to afriend that she Is no longer
young, and has decided to play only sixty
years more, after which she will retire and
leave the field to Maggie Mitchell.-Boston
Trdreler.
Circuses are buying up the horses left by
the late Jesse James, of Missouri. There
will be over one thousand of the favorite
saddle horse Of James on the road this sum-
mer.-N. o. Picayune.
A new style of door mat has just been de-
vised for editorial sanctums. 1t bears the
woven inscription Come again." aud is in
| tended to lie outside the door. p. S. The
editor lies inside. e.l-Burdette.
A Pittsburg firm has secured a patent for
glass shingles, and proposes to manufacture
them. Shouldn't think they'd be good. The
first lick would break 'em, before you got q
good yell out of the boy.-Boston Post.
"Did you ever read the Decameron "
asked gentleman in the bookstore to-day.
"I don't think ever did," replied the other;
don't recollect ever hearing of it; have
heard of Don Cameron, though. h."-Boston
Transcript.
az never pretend to know thing that I do
not" remarked Brown. "When l don't
know thing say at once, Il don't know"
"A very proper course" said Fogg; "but
how monotonous your conversation must
be!"-Roston Transcript.
She decorated her room with bric-a-brac
and pictures, and placed her husbands photo
on the tspmost nail. Then she sat down to
admire her work, and blissfully remarked:
"Now everything is lovely and the goose
hangs high."-1roy Times.
A young man who recently returned to San
Francisco from Montana gave his grand
mother such an affectionate hug that she
tainted. A physician found that three ribs
were dislecsted, and the old lady continues
under medical reatment.-Cincinnati Com
merciat.
"When you were last here" said the ma
gistrate TO the prisoner, "you promised me
that If released you you would 60 TO work.
Why haven't you kept your word?"
"Judge," returned the victim, meekly, ~
didn't want to be breeding any disturbance,
and was afraid if went to work that l
wouldget on a strike."-Brooktyn Eagle.
"Does hoss-racing hurt anybody?" ex-
claimed bluegrass turfman, as he whiled
away the rainy Sunday In the pious eDdeavor
to uphold General Buford's hands in the
great work of reconciling the church and the
turf. "Hoss-racing hurt anybody? Why,
a clean, squar' race, run from eend to eeud,
with no pullin' and no pocketin', there's no
more danger in q Christians attendin' that
sort o. race than there is in-in-than there
is in a duel between two Congressmen".-
C0urier-JOurndt.
Rev. DR.. Charles II. Hall, pastor of Holy
Trinity church in Brooklyn, has always
taught his youngest child to say grace at the
table as soon as he could speak. His young
hopeful is now a small boy, whose preroga-
tive 1t is to ask the divine blessing upon the
food as soon as the family is seated. A few
days ago the preacher being in hurry TO get
through his evening meal to 60 to we'd
ding entered the dining room swiftly, and
as soon as he took his seat promptly and
said grace himself. His son looked at him
In surprise, and as the father finished, the
boy, shaking out his napkin said: swell
you've got cheek!"
A mite of a child, four weeks old and
weighing little more than half pound, was
baptised at Manhattanville this week. The
clergyman held 1t in the palm of his hand
aud poured two drops of water on it. Even
this nearly drowned 1t, aud made 1t sneeze
so big a sneeze that it kicked like an over
loaded gun. The minister felt as If lie was
letting fire-cracker off in his fingers. The
midget was named George Washington
Fromm, the name going around him three
or four times, and then tied in double bow
knot in front. He has brother four years
old, who weighs only twelve pounds. They
say they are the smallest children in the
world, and it looks as If they were mitey
right.-Free Press.