St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-18
SQuibs.

Since the advent of the toy pistol
kerosene has been put to the blush
New Haven Register.
The New York Clipper mourns be-
cause Eve did not tell the serpent "Not
this Eve, some other Eve.r
The poet who sweetly referred to
the "sighing of the windsn should go
ont west and experience sighclone.-
philadelphia Bulletin.
~ understand that your courtship
with Charley is at an end" eyes,"
said she, Charley pressed his suit until
it became threadbare, and then gave
him the sack"
Fond wife-"HOw strange Every
time Peter comes home from the lodge
he comes to bed with his hat on. But
| suppose it is some more of those Ma
sonic dOings."
A New York locomotive threw
steer up into the air distance of thir-
ty feet. They are bound to keep beef
up even if steam power must be called
upon to do it.
People needn't wonder at the scarci-
ty of good servant girls. The good
always die young, anyway, if they have
to take to lighting the fire with kero-
sene to make the proverb come true.
''What pretty children, and how
much they look alike !" said c., during
first visit to friends house. "They
are twins" his friend explains. "What,
both of emf" exclaims c., greatly in
terested.
The reporter of New York paper
70 th.. nf /
Pilgrims Progress" The man at the
door refused to admit him without pay
ing, and the reporter said: Send Mr..
Bunyan out here he will let me in"
Perhaps the best apology for Nor
mon polygamy that has been made is
one by IA wit on a Pacific coast news
paper. He says that at least the sys-
TEN does not throw the burden of sup
porting a husband upon one woman.
The Cincinnati Enquirer thinks that
the venerable Artemas Hale died of
| grief and modification that he had ev-
er been member of Congress, recent
developments Fastening his end. He
must have been more sensitive than
the average congressman.
"Any children ?" asked landlord of
n gentleman seeking tenement on
Cherry street. eyes, three" "NO use
talking then; | want tenants without
children" "But mine are not fat
enough to KILL" mildly. remarked the
gentleman as he turned on his heel
Here it isl The reason Mr.. Arthur
vetoed the river and harbOr bill, the
COurier-JOurnal making the discovery {:
"Mr. Arthur, being renowned fisher
man, may have vetoed the river and
harbOr bill because of his honest Opin-
ion that the Improvements named in
the bill would certainly scare the fish. -
They were talking over music and
drama at the table of their host, who,
as they were already well aware, owed
his fortune to his own unaided exer-
tiOns. "YOu are fond of ROssini ="
asked one of the guests. "Passionate-
ly," replies the host. "KnOw his Bar
Der 2" "No, sir; | do nOt-never pat
ronized the man-have shaved myself
for the past 40 years"
A lucky father.-An Austin man
complained bitterly of the way his
children destroyed their clothing He
said "When | was boy / only had
one suit of clothes, and had to take
care of it. ! was only allowed one pair
of shoes a year in those days" There
was pause, and then the oldest boy
spoke up and said 81 say, dad, you
have a much easier time of it now you
are living with us."-ITeXas Siftings.
They were sitting in the shadow of
the honeysuckles, through which the
sinking sun was peeping at them with
IA face as red as if it had just emerged
| I'll l. An fol
me to Europe on our wedding day, dar
ling ?" she said, toying fondly with
one of his suspender buttons that had
broken loose and fallen into her lap.
A very serious look stole over his coun
tenance, and for some moments he was
silent. Finally he chOked back ris-
ing sigh and said: "No, deary; Wen
stick to the dry land. | never could
hold a basin under a womaD's chin for
ten days and love her afterwards"