New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-05-03
THE DUPED LAWYER.

THE DUPED LAWYER.
Baruch Werewolf, Esquire, attorney
and counsellor-at-law, was truly and in
the strictest scriptural sense ga hard
man, His business lay chiefly in the
collecting line. About all the law he
knew, or cared to know, related to the
methods of dealing with delinquent debt
ors. He knew by heart, to a knife, fork,
and spoon, exactly what the head of q
family might hold exempt from execu-
ton.
He once levied on debtors baby's
coral, claiming that the child's teeth be-
ing already cut, the article had ceased
to be necessity; and another time he
got an injunction to restrain husband
from putting gilt handles on his dead
wife's coffin in fraud of his creditors.
Mr.. Werewolf had risen forty, and
was still bachelor. Not that he was
on principle averse to the conjugal es-
tate. ...
There were rumors, indeed, of his
having aspired to more than one fair
hand, with moderate dowry appurte-
nant, though unfortunately he had new
er succeeded in getting more than the
mitten.
He was not, if the truth must be told,
strikingly handsome man. His face
was sallow where it wasn't freckled, and
his hair, like Bitzer's, seemed but con-
tinuation of his freckles. He was cross
eyed, jimber-jawed, pigeon-toed, and
had parenthetical legs. In his highest
heeled boots he lowered to the height of
five feet two, and in tall hat doomed
somewhat higher.
One morning Mr.. Werewolf reached
his office late,> and found lady waiting,
whom he at once conducted to his inner
sanctum. "Miss Delilah Daglock'' was
the name by which she introduced her.
self. Her age, after making the usual
discount allowable to mature maidens,
might be placed at thirty-nine
course, it would never do to call her
forty. She was tall, thin, and angular,
with beaked nose, bushy brows, and
rather more than suspicion of NOUS
tache. Here eyes were black and pierre
ing, and she was well-dressed.
''What can do for you, MADAME" ask
ed Baruch when he had given his visi-
tor seat and established himself in his
revolving chair.
~ wish to have my will drawn" she
answered with none of the nervousness
with which timid and superstitious per-
sons are apt to approach such a subject
IA most wise precaution, for those
who have property whose transmission
they desire to direct, cannot safely de-
fer acting in the premises
''Just what I've said to myself" re-
turned Miss Daglock. II have an only
sister, you see, who disgraced her fani-
ly by marrying dry-goods clerk: Over
work and lack of air threw him into q
galloping consumption, and he reckless
ly died, leaving her and two children
destitute. Now, should be cut off to-,
morrow, am informed that everything
have, rs matters stand, would 90 to
my sister. It makes me shudder to
think of it!'
Il quite sympathize with your feel
ings,'' said the lawyer, and it is proba-
BILE, from his character, that he didn't
lie. ''Of what does your property con-
sist, may I ask?''
Il own hundred thousand dollars in
a bank stock. That is all of any conse,
quence."
Mr.. Werewolf opened his eyes respect.
fully.
''In what bank, pray?"
rs it necessary to specify that?"
''Not essentially, but---''
''Then prefer not to do it. You see,
don't care to let anyone" she added,
with sharp look at her interlocutor,
''know more of my affairs than is indis-
pensable. Can't just leave all have
in a lump, without going into paCticu-
lars?''
Certainly" said Mr.. Werewolf, in
wardly approving the lady S circumspec-
ton. "Whom do you propose making
the objects of your bounty?" he enquir-
ed, wheeling to face his desk, and tax
ing up a pen.
II desire to bequeath my whole fortune
in trust for the relief of INDECENT female
Hottentots in good Standing
If Mr.. Werewolf did not perceive the
superiority of the claims of inpecunious
Hottentots to those of Miss Daglock's
bereaved sister and her children, he was
prudent enough not to say So.
''But it's not unlikely that a lady OF
your northumberland personal
attractions may some day choose to
marry; in which case you might natur-
ally wish to make provision for your al.
tered circumstances
Miss Daglock paused refectively.
IF l married, and died before my
husband, without will, who would be
my lawful heir?''
''Your husband, unless there were
children; then he and they together"
'Well, suppose we put in a clause
that the will shall stand only in case I
don't marry. If do, and my husband
doesn't prove satisfactory, can still cut
him off in favor of the Hottentots, CAN'T
I?''
''Most assuredly, madam
The will was drawn accordingly, and
duly executed before witnesses.
cts plain that woman wants to mar
ry," said Baruch Werewolf to himself,
when his client had departed, after pay.
ing his fee.
..By George, she might marry metz
he exclaimed, giving his thigh smart
slap.
"A hundred thousand dollars-in
bank stockl-I wish knew the bank.
But bank stocks are pretty much all
alike, and frst-class investments, too.
By lingo! III tryit '2would be burn
ing shame to let hundred thousand
dollars go to outside barbarians. It
woulOh't be patriotic, either. True,
she's not a decided beauty. # her an
Gent namesake hadn't been any hand
somer, Samson might have kept his hair