The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-11-17
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

MY Wife" said AIiddleby, "does
not talk about stocks and bonds; but i
must confess that she sometimes gives
me some pretty good rail-away inteli-
gence. "-Tbe Jfdge.
This exclaimed the man who was
fitting stove-pipe as the black dust
deiectedly dropped to the floor, "this is
nv fall sootr'-N 7. Commercial i'd
UertiSer.
Adams fall occurred before Eve
was created; so it is useless to twit
woman with being the cause of all our
sorrow. 1t was when he fell into deep
sleep prior to losing a rib.-BOsto71
transcript.
Mrs. Partington honored us with
call this morning. She is looking well,
and saws she is like the windows of
renovated honse-all the old panes are
out of her and the pneumatics are things
of the past Boston Star.
A cowboy at Prescott, A. T., was
running the town and carrying high
head until a Massachusetts, consumptive
cracked his skull with club The ma
tives never dreamed that a cowboy could
be laid out.-DetroH Free Press.
"A Jackson County, (Ga.,) man had
his ear bitten offby a horse the other day,
which recalls the old rhyme:
'The horse bit the parson.
How came it to passy
The horse heard the parson say,
All flesh is grass
Perhaps the casual reader has never
sat down on buzz saw and felt himself
fading away. If so, he doesn't know
what it is to form the acquaintance of a
somnambulistic bulldog in the prime of
l;fa O,-o7z3fe Roo757e9-0,5n
Married but six weeks and in
tearsr' exclaimed friend to a weeping
bride. '.Yes; the first cruel shadow has
fallen athwart our pathway. 1t is settled
at last; either | must give up eating taffy
or George must cut off his mustache."
-BroObly5s Eagle.
why didn't you deliver that mes
sage as l gave it to youP" asked an
Austin gentleman of his stupid servant
II did de best / could, boss. You
did the best you could. did you?' imi-
tating his voice and look. 80 you did
the best you could. If | had known that
y was sending a donkey, l would have
gone myself. - Teras siftings.
One day toward nightfall, and in
uncertain light man bought an over
coat of pretended plum color The
next mcrnln9ll pTOFtu " Do VI I" duiuo
too unmistakable green. Returning 1t
to the shopkeeper, that worthy regarded
the buyer calmly. and said: You must
have little patience with it, my dear
sir; it isn't ripe yet lie Figaro.
Why does the Man Smile? Because
He Went into Closet this Morning and
Found a last Years Hat. which He Put
on in front of Looking glass. He didn't
Know himself hardly, and Wondered
how He Had Been Fool enough to wear
such Hat. Thus you see Man is
Fool every Year, but He does not Find
it out until the year after. . Brooklyn
Ui7toe.
"A hard-up editor in the far-away
West speaks to his delinquent subscrib-
ers in a way tl1at is both quaint and un-
mistakable. He says: ''Dear gentle
hearted readers of this pale-face sheet,
If YOU find cross-bones and skull, with
crest of metallic burial casket drawn in
blood, on the wrapper of your paper,
YOU will know that your subscription has
expired and that something has got to
be done, and there's no time 10 monkey
about it. Winter is upon as, and our
summer porous plaster don't shed the
chilly worth chucks