Connecticut western news., 1882-02-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

MANY a man of forty cold winters has a conscience just as good as new because he has never used it. ls
 A GERMAN astronomer has found new planet. Anybody who misses any of his planets should make 8 note of this. '" "3'"
 THE horse has only four feet, but when the blacksmith has fitted the horse's fore feet, there are two feet more still to be fitted.
 A GOOD many of the young men of this city are natural sailors. At least we judge so from the ease with which they q pilot schooners over the bar.
 AN ANTI BEER drinking society has been formed in Denver. Over the en- trance to their hall is inscribed: "Who enters here leaves hops behind. "e sE
 THIS question threatens to revolutions ie ize Garden City: "Should young man leave his music lesson to split wood when his mother is at home and per fectly we'll ?" re." .' F~
 A CORRESPONDENT wants to know where the expression "Let up" comes from. We believes it comes from theES fello v who isn't on top in the fight.- Philadelphia San.
 IT WILL be advisable for such as have any fears of badness to quit indulging in white grub, since farmer has dis covered that the white grub eats off the, roots just below the crown. Rome Sen s tS,aeI s.sss.
 THIS is not bad notion of a Cork e shop-keeper. His establishment was ss, seized for debt, and it was closed pre- vious to an execution sale. He put on large poster: "Closed during stock-eA taking" rsaSs7sg.s
 "How's BUSINESS with you, Brown2' 2',s asked his friend Pingrey. "Not very lively" said Brown. "But you have ;. made something, suppose?" ".Oh, yes; made an assignment. "-Boston Transcript.
 | "THE bees are swarming and there's no end to them" said Farmer Jones, coming into the house. His little boy George came in second afterward and said there was an end to one of lem, anyhow, and it was red hot, too.
 "WHAT was the immediate cause of his rapid fortune ?" asked @ mutual friend. "Oh, he advertised steadily in < the paper that went directly to the peo- ~ pie" was the suggestive reply. '"Good," said the other, 'I shall carry the Ne,0s to Mary" ~ "ANNIE," said fond husband to his wife, "what were the current expenses for last month ?" ooh l" she answered, "only twenty-e eight cents !" "Why, how is that ?" "Well, you see, only baked cake twice, and therefore used s very few currants."& "& .s. @ egsN&
 "TH1s butter, MT. Spices," said the dealer, (" "carried off the prize at the farmers fair, and Seth spat out taste 4s of the compound and remarked: Un- less the prize was ships anchor and chain cable, I should think the butter could have carried it off easily"
 THE evil doer is sure to meet his fate at last. This is like the Irishman who covered himself up with the sheets to ,s escape the mosquitoes, but who ex- plaiued when lightning bug entered the room, "There's no use; here is one of 'em come wid lantern. It's all over q wid me, sure." aS %@ -4%
 A LADY who knows more than Ovid about love says that man is "not in earnest unless he gets so confused tha & he can't tell his hands from his feet. l" Aas If, therefore, you want to prove your \ devotion, young man, put your hands on the fender and try to get your feet into your pockets. se ., .-.t .sa.
 A LADY called on her milliner the g other day to investigate the character of a servant. The respectable appearance of the latter was beyond questioning. "But is she honest ?" asked the lady. CT am not so certain about that, re- piled the milIiner; have sent her to YOU with my bill dozen times, and she has never yet given me the money" 's
 Miss HoRrENsE is working Beauti- full Piece of Embroidery. It is Motto i. in Green and Gold. 1t asks What is X. Home Without Mother When Miss Hortense gets it Done she will give it to her Beau, who tends a Dry Goods Counter. You cannot see Miss Hortense's Mother. She is in the Back Yard doing the Weekly Washing. By and by she will be Bringing in the Coal s for the Parlor Stove, because Miss M Hortense's Beau is Coming Tonight Deasver Tribune Primer. es
 A SHORT time since colored man en- tered the office of the clerk of coun- X try court in the West, and advancing to table where the deputy clerk was busily engaged. he produced marriage 2 license, for which he had paid the legal a' fee few days before. "Boss," said 2 he, poking the license under the nose 2 of the absorbed deputy. "What is ita" was the impatient response. Boss, continued the man, "de lady declines dis document, and I fotch it in to get my money back" s-. 9si
 Ir ADDS greatly, says the Ha,Okeye, to your appreciation of detective htera- ture to read in the book how the lynx } eyed detective, with sleepless vigilance, e hovers ever on the track of the fugitive, , and see things that are hidden from all
 other eyes, and with an unerring wisdom IL. .s-I~A ,aA@ @INax rawwx