Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-11-04
WIT AND HUMO2.

The most exaggerated dlSpatchcs come by the fish line.
 Ella Wheeler says that "love is sui licient." Ella has evidently been read ing from Dr. Tanner.
 It was q Detroit girl who married at l5 so as to have her golden wedding when it would do her some good.
 The young woman who sneeringly TO- marks that men are ali alike generally shows her sincerity by taking the first man that offers himself to her.
 Miss Emma Abbott is said to have made Sl00,000 in stock speculation re- gently. Emma, if you can do that sort of thing, you just let opera alone.
 There is one advantage in warm weather. At no other season of the year can you spread the butter on the chi!dren's bread so evenly and so thinly.
 Says & cynical old lady: "Very handsome mothers are often proud of their very ugly babies. 1 wonderif but terdies are proud of their caterpillars."
 No matter how handsome a young woman may be, when the right man comes along she is ready to yield the palm of her beauty. if he have the sense t6 ask it.
 Takes woman for ingenuity. A Cleveland girl had a new bonnet she wanted to show, and contrived to get herself called as a witness on case she knew nothing about.
 "Vegetabtes are ever so much better for person than meat this hot wealth er," remarked the head of the family, as he reached for the last slice of beef and left an unsatisfactory ear of corn for the rest of the household
 A woman lately looked at a printing press at work, turned to her ercompanion, and in most earnest manner inquired. Well, Charley. an thems the things as writes the papers. Be's them what they call editors?"
 Yes, my boy, there are 53,200, 900 people in this country. And you are only one of them. Just one. Think of that, once in while, when you get to wondering what would happen to the world if you should die.
 It may be interesting to the boys to learn that mule can fight at both ends. A Louisville boy who tickled 8 mule about the mouth the other day was frighdully bitten in the hand by the en- ragged longears.
 Il dcclarer' exclaimed Mrs. Tindce, ''I never saw gal ike our Sary Jane. 1 worked eenamost two hull days on her bathin' dress. and don't you think she got it wringin' wet the fust time she put it on."
 Su5stitution.-It was at party. Miss Angelina had been persuaded to preside at the piano. There" said Seraphina. as Angelina took up piece of music, ''she has taken tune from the rack, and now sine will put us all on it.''
 4 trade journal gives directions for preserving harness" Preserved, har- ness may be considered very palatabe by those who ike that sort of thing. but we don't want bit in our mouth. -N0rriSt0lcn Herald.
 'Yes, sir says the oldest resident, ''the first trip l made from Lowell to Boston was over the old canal, and l worked my passage on the canal-boat." :" Worked your passage? How?' in- quired his audience. ''l led the horse, ' s0lemuly remarked the ancient mariner
 4 certain sef-styled authority On wit and hunor says that there are 5ut twenty kinds of jokes. Wen wager that we can send him a boy that will play over forty different practical jokes in half day, unless he assassirates the boy before that time.
 | A fashion item sEvs that the belle Of the period now wears at her waist belt little music box, faintly playing a sin gle tune. We suppose this is 10 enable the gentleman to explain to anybody who comes along unexpectedly, that he was winding the box.
 Recipe for AnreIs: Mamma. whst makes apge,s?" asked little boy who had been reading of the heavenly in- hab;tants. The mother glanced out into the orchard. and, with warning look. soleinn'y replied, 'Unripe fruit, my dear"
 Her Position.
 Rev. Edwin Thompson has raised a roar of laughter probably q thousand times with the story of countrvman' wife and children who thought they were all constables because the huS- band and father had been elected to the office of constable 4 visitor was con- plimenting the wife of prominent pub lie functionary on the high social position she held <
 "Yes, and you are very kind, sir, to say it." said she, but what little social distinction I may have acquired is en- tirely due to my husbands office. If he were to die now. what would 1 be? ] leave it to you"
 Visitor (after mature redection)- You would, madam. be widow,
 A Jersey veteran is claiming pen