Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-04
WHY DO BARRIERS TALK !?

The reat Problem of the Age-A Report
er's Experience During Search for an
Answer to the Riddle Professional and
Non-Professional Explanations.
Chicago Herald.)
$50 and get shaved.''
Thus the city editor to the reporter, who
made his appearance yesterday morning
with beard of several days unrestrained
growth upon his chin.
SECT shaved?"
eyes, and as it is good while since you
were last shaved the experience will prob
ably be sufficiently novel to inspire you
with ideas for an article on barbers.''
This was intended as sarcasm, but the re-
porter bore it meekly and went on his way
to 'tonsorial parlor." AS he entered each
barber turned from his patient and gazed
at him with an air of languid curiosity. 1t
was trying, but the reporter bore it with
a courage born of necessity. AS he took
seat and began to read last years paper,
each barber wiped his soapy fingers on his
customers coat-collar, and all met in the
center of the room to consult about his
fate. They "sized him up" and compared
notes in an audible tone. There were some
little differences of opinion on minor
points, but all agreed that he was
''chump." By this time two of the GUS
toners had each smoked whole cigar.
another had read a newspaper all through
and had begun looking at some old mail
in his pocketbook, and the last had laid
over comfortably and gone to sleep. He
was awakened by having brush full of
lather thrust into his mouth, and soon all
four artists were again at work. The man
and brother by this time had blacked the
reporters shoes without his knowledge,
and assessed him ten cents. The searcher
after truth took in the progress of the
work to determine to whose hands
his fate would be. None of
the artists seemed to be in hurry to get
through, and the customers were not par
ticulai either. The waiting man did not
want to fall into the hands of
the fend on the end of the row. He was
an emasculated STRIPPING of twenty five
years, was slow in movement and ungainly
of figure. He kept his mouth eternally
open, and his face wore about as much ex-
preston as the portrait of Min in the ex-
position gallery. His shirt-band and collar
were so low that every time he took in a
long breath his iver-pad could be seen,
1t was evident also that he had breakfasted
on garlic. As fate would have it, he finish
ed before IL broA'er artists, and the re-
porter was obliged to take the chair. Be-
fore he went in he handed the gloating
wretch sheet of copy paper, on which
was written:
won't close shave. I am in hurry.
Do not put any oil or grease upon my
hair. I never uTe bay rum or cosmetic.
Please comb my hair up and back. I do
not wish my hair trimmed or cut. I do
not want any hair tonic or skin medicine.
7 do not want shampoo or bath. I
have Ut lo Il the latest news from Egypt
nor do want to. I care nothing for pol
itics Or crime or society. do not care for
stock Or market reports. I am not
stranger in the city, and am not going to
the ball this evening. am professor in
a deaf and dumb institute, and I am glad
Of it. Go ahead and shave me.
When the tonsorial artist had managed
to decipher the epistle, he gave despair
ing groan and began his work in me-
chanical way, stopping once in while to
look for directions on the sheet of paper.
Several times he got ready to ask cues
ton, but remembered the addmonition
with grimace. However, he unburdened
his mind to his fellow-workers and the re-
marks made about the reporter savored
stronghold personal criticism. When the
torture was finished and the artist had
placed court-plaster asterisk on his VIC
TINS chin he threw him out of the chair
with jerk, placed Is cent check in his
hand and gave him push toward the cash
desk. The reporter paid his check, evaded
the boy with a whisk broom, and vanished
upstairs.
II wonder why BARRIERS are so fond of
talkingg" thought the reporter. "That
fellow wouldn't have cut me if had let
him talk. must try to find out.''
IN S, i. of the truth he visited more
extensive establishment and had a talk
with the proprietor. The gentleman said
that. in his case, the loquacity was Guilt
waited.
II found when began business" said
he, ''that the surly and untalkative barber
did not get along nearly as we'll as those
who gabbled. found that I had to talk
or leave the business, People would avoid
my chair, and kept losing my place.
then began reading the newspapers more
than ever and endeavored to keep
Ine ruH VI uIlHSS. got tnln5S uILlo
mixed sometimes, but that was nat
ural. For number of years I
thought that Budd Doble ran the Summer
School of Philosophy, and that Bronson
Alcott was the famous horseman. 1 con-
founded Billy and Ralph Waldo Emerson,
and the only Lonfeilow knew was John
Harper's horse. have got things straight.
ened out now and get along quite smooth
ly. [ have become able to tell mans
occupation and disposition as soon as
see him. Now, knew you were a coal
man the moment you opened the door. 1t
is not intuition but a cultivated art.''
The reporter took chair and had his
raven locks shorn of some of their luxu-
RANT length. The barber mechanically
began asking set of questions, not wait
ing for an answer, but going on with the
next question.
Willing to give the craft fair show, he
entered another tonsorial palace and re-
quested a shampoo. When he had placed
himself in chair the barber ran his hand
over the reportorial mob, and remarked in
Bunthorne tone:
"Your hair is getting rather long. Bet
ter have it cut.''
No, want shampoo
Is ike shave p'' fpaJincr tho chin