Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-08-04
OR KALEIDOSCOPE.

Close TO the margin OF the sea,
And small celestial pig-taled cook,
Which his name was John Chnee
snow, john" they said, ave go to swim
And very hungry we shall be-
Against the time when we return
Have something good for tea"
They came with appetltes like knives
And John,--ali smiles and bows was he -
lie set them forth blrds.nest stew,
And u broiled puppys tail, for tea
JuMBoCURA.
There was man In our town
And he was wonlrous wise
lie sui down In an vy.bch
Anu poisoned both his eyes
And when he saw HIS eyes were closed,
with all his might and main,
He ran TO see the clrcusbllls
And got them o'pn again
An appropriate conundrum for hot wealth.
Wilt thou.
| The Norrlstown UerdM thinks ii was q
queer notion for Tug Wilson TO come TO
this country 10 fight.
Glass shingles are the latest. They are
great boon to the boys.
A sign on a Milwaukee store reads
"Buries by the kwort" The cause of pho.
nctic spelling is rapidly gaining ground.
Oscar Wilde says he never could study
geography, the Colors on the map were 90
discordant and distressed him so much.
when man with apair of new shoes
on enters country church," reflectively re.
marks the New York Commercial, sit isn't
necessary for him to step up in the pulpit to
announce the fact"
Mrs. +. ID. f. n. Southworth, an exchange
tells rs, regards as the happest portion Of
her life the time she spent, soon after her
marriage, in a lonely log cabin in the forest
wilds of Wisconsin, when wolves often howl.
cd about the door. Puck thinks that it was
also the happiest for the public.
President Arthuris booked" for San Fran
cisco, Boston, Montreal, New Orleans and
Bismarck, OAK, Immediately after his visit
to the Denver and Cincinnati expositons.
Rattlesnakcs are so numerous IN the West
that the natives dry and use them for sleigh
bells
A medium has had a communication from
the late Boss Tweed. The Boss, it appears,
is shocked at the political assessments levied
by the wicked Republicans.
1t was as dangerous to be in Egypt last
week as ii generally is to he in Chicago
Marathon Independent.
woman who waits for her husband to
return from the lodge mas an object in view,
"a has t,,
american Queen.
There is German baron who has eighty
four pairs OF trousers. How mad be would
be il he came home and found that his wife
had given away TO an image man eighty
, three pairs for statuette of Cupid and
Psyche and a bust of Judas Iscariot--
Puck.
+ st. Louis boasts of man who has not
laughed in twenty years. He is possibly an
, interocutor in n ''first-cass' minstrel troupe
-Ionkers Statesman.
New York's hop crop will be small This
would be a sad blow to the country If the
: brewers hadn't learned years ago how to
5 make beer without hops. Philadelphia
Chronicle.
New York paper says ''the ice-pitcher
is more fatal than alcohol" That depends
An ice-pitcher is harmless thing in itself
l
no doubt wish he had taken pint of alcohol
: instead.-Norristoicn Herald.
Doddridge wrote about "high eternal
noon" as one OF the joys Of heaven. He
could not mean this noon, but some other
noon, in the .winter.-Nar Orleans Pea
yune.
2 Sepulchral-"Govcrnor Ramsey has lived
4 TO see wilderness OF indians turned into
! magnificent area Of wheat fields sprinkled
t over with bright thriving towns. "-Chris-
tian at ,cOrk.
4 A French Judge asked murderer what
excuse he could possibly offer for his crime.
why. judge" said the fellow, II often
beard the man say that he wanted to die sud
/, denly. The Figaro.
No wonder Miles Ross has reputation for
fixing up the harbors and streams of jersey.
When the fire companies of New Brunswick
!, are out for exercise and throw a stream
: hundred feet or so high, he at once applies
for an appropriation to make the stream nav
Z gable. -Nelo Jersey Enterprise.
. An artfu juryman, addressing the clerk
:, of the court while the latter was administer
- ing the oath said ''Speak up | can not
hear what you say" stop" said Baron
b Anderson from the bench. Are you deaf 2"
n Yes, my lo.d, of one ear Then you
may leave the box for it is necessary that
u jurymen should hear both sides"
, This picture is great work of art 1t is
- an oil painting-done in petroleum. 1t is
!, by The Old Masters. 1t was the last thing
= and then they PRED. Some of the greatest
: artists in London come here every morning
a before daylight with lanterns to look at It.
They say they never saw anything like it be.
fOre-and they hope they never shall again.
:, -Artems Warts Lecture.
When the Maryebonc vesrymen were dis,
cussing the propriety of laying down wood
, pavement within their parish, and were rails.
Il ing difficulties on the subject, Jerrod, as he
c read the report of the discussion, said
o Difficulties in the way, Absurd. They
have only to put their heads together, and
there is the wood pavement"
Madame is preparing about half past 10
D p. III. TO go out 'for the evening, as she is
y accustomed to do rather too frequently to
d please Monsieur" who has made up his
n mind for the fitch time to assert himself,
The following dialogue ensues Monsieur
!, "Where are you. going, my dear T.
5 Madame "Wherc please" but when
l. will you be back :" When l choose, sir y
o "Ah, yes of course but no later should
i not permit that. "-freneh paper.
J. A scandal so horrible that it is almost i'm.
possible to believe 1t comes from Cape May.
=. The report is that Philadelphia lady who
had every appearance of being cultured and
u refined, has outraged every sensibilty and
n cruelty mortified those who had the misfor-
= tune to be considered her friends by appear
n ing in one of the very dresses she wore last
n year, and worse than ALL the dress bad been
o turned. Ell.
n Chicago newspaper reporter who was
\ walking along in the neighborhood OF Con-
l. cord, over which the famous Jumbo had Just
Il nhsarpal hn tatinfa of h. hiio