davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
School Books to 20 Around.

The number of higher arithmetics re-
quired in the public schools of the Uni
ted States is 1,750,000; arithmetics,
lower, $3.50, 900; algebras, 500. 900; as
tronomies, 100000; bookkeeping, $780,
600; copybooks, $4,000, 900; compost
tion-books, 100000; etymologies,
500, 200; biographies, 100000; gram
mars, 100000; histories, 1000, 900;
natural philosophers, 500, readers,
5000 600; spoilers and defners, $780,
600; The annual cost of school books
to the users is estimated at $4,000, 900.
AS most persons are aware, the change
of text books goes on continually, else
publishers would have no business. As
soon as the pupil is fairly grounded in
one arithmetic, someone discovers that
the pupils will 60 astray if the book is
longer in use, and new book is intro
duced. This takes its turn to 90 out as
soon as another has been invented t.
take its place. There are arithmetics
collecting dust, and sold for old junk,
out of which pupil who studied to
learn could get as much as from the
latest publication. 1t is not in the
book, but in the pupil. In fact, there
are old arithmetics. in the opinion of
educators, much superior to those now
in use.-PrOUtieRce or. ~ Journal.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
Transportation Curiosity.

Every student OF nouns, pronouns
and verbs knows the necessity of trans.
posing language for the sake of ascer.
tanning its grammatical construction.
The following, from the Evangelical
Messenger. shows twenty-six different
readings of one of Gray's well-known
poetical lines, yet the sense is not af-
fected:
Tho weary plowman plods his homeward way,
The plowman weary, plods his homeward way,
His homeward way the weary plowman plods,
His homeward way the plowman, weary, plods,
The weary plowman homeward plods his way,
The plowman, weary, homeward plods his way,
His way the weary plowman homeward pods,
His way the plowman, weary, homcward plods,
The plowman, homeward plods his weary way,
His way the plOwman, homeward, weary plods,
His hOmeward, weary way the plowman plods,
Weary, the plowman homeward plods his way,
Weary, the plowman plods his homeward way,
Homeward, his way the weary plowman plOds,
Homeward, his way the plowman weary plods,
Homeward, his weary way the plowman plods,
The plowman, homeward, weary plods his way.
His weary way, the plownan homeward plods.
His weary way, the homeward plowman plods,
Homeward the plowman plods his weary way,
Homeward the weary plowman plods his way.
The plowman weary, his homeward way plods,
The plOwman plOds his hOmeward. weary way.
The plowman plods his weary, homeward way,
Weary the plowman his way homeward plods,
Weary his homeward way the plowman plods.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
Rev: Plato johnson on Darwin.

Last Sunday morning, in sermon on
the origin of man, the said: "Brud-
dern de drouble wild some folks is dat
dere brains is too large. l don't tend
to be pussonal, an has no reference
whatever to any man in dis 'sembly;
but dere is people in this worP who has
a preston dat dey oughter have created
de Lord, an dat it was a act of con-
descenshun on dere parts dat they
lowed de Lord to create dem at all: an
dey's ben sorry ebber sense dat dey
did MT assert dere rights on de fust day
an hab n han in maxim tings. Now
dere's Mr.. Darwin, man who has been
maxim Il big fuss bout de way de Lord
put tings togedder, and beleebs de whole
of creation is wrong jist cos he was mt
suited. l wish de Lord would glib
sech men'as him bout Il couple OBJ acres
oh de 'riginal chaos, an see what kind
oh fist dey would make oh it. guess
dat arter while dey would all move off
dere own plantation an try to rent
house on de land whar de Lord was
runnin' de machine.
dis Darwin says dat a man is de
gran son oh IL monkey, and dat the
Bible amt got the truff oh de matter at
all. You'se all the chillen of balloons,
my belubbed. Wat you tink oh dat? How
You like your ancestors? In de begin
min every one OBJ you had long tail
dat was long fore you wore trousers
an some oh you got your tails
twisted off, an some oh YOU was 'shamed
oh EN-, an rubbed 'em off against de
trees; an At lass de tails got so Disguised
dat dcy refused TO grow. OATS what
you are, an dat's whar you cum from.
Now, den, my idea is dat cherry man
Oughter speak for himself on dis sub
jec. IF Mr.. Darwin was born up in
tree while his mother was stealin' CO.
coanuts, it don't follow that my mudder
was up anOdcr tree dom the same ting.
Darwin is dead shore dat his ancestors
were apes, an he oughter know. l
amt goin' to contradict it. Ebbery man
must look after his own family. As fol
me, Use Bible Christian, an was
made out Oh de dust, an don't take no
stock in the monkeys. l can look any
OBJ EN- in de face widout a blush for my
family. an say, Go long bout your
business, you ole eater oh peanuts, you
amt no fust cousin OBJ miner can
stan in front of a whole cage OBJ desc
funny little fellers. an don't feel no
family sympathy stirrin' in my heart.
De fust chapter oh Genesis am good
huff for me, belubbed. Pass de box.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
The Favorite Poems Of Garfield and
Lincoln,

It seems, impossible, says the Des
Moines Register, to ascertain the au-
thorship of that poem which was so
great favorite with Garfield, and
which pictured almost with prophecy
some of the circumstances attending his
death, entitled, "Ho, Reapers of Life's
Harvest" Like Lincoln's favorite life
poem, why Should the Spirit Of Nor
tai be Proudp' its authorship seems to
be unknown. Garfield said with regret
that he did not know the authorship OF
the piece that was so great 10 favorite
with him, while Lincoln said of his
favorite poem: II would give.a great
deal to know who wrote it. but have
never been able to ascertain" So
among the other wonderful parallels
between these two great men, 1t ap-
pears each sought out an anonymous
poem and held it precious in his me-
mnrv
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
A RAOO00N HUNT.
Tho Fun OF freeing One in an Overlooked
Flat.

/ Aho VI xFec1uk Ou6 IN an Oy0ruOW00
| Flat.
A Baltimore man, who had never been
initiated, thus describes his first expert
ence:
We picked up old Ben johnson "a
darkey), a keen old coon hunter, who
brought his two dogs with him. When
we reached the woods there were six
head of dogs in the pack, and Of course
each man thought his own the best, but
old Ben's puppies, as he called them,
gave tongue first, and the other dogs
soon picked up the trail, and off they
went, and we tried to follow, but it was
dark as Egypt, and muddy-mud was
no name for it.
We pretty soon called halt, and al
lowed the dogs to have all the fun to
themselves, and they had it too, if we
might Judge from the racket they kept
up. How it makes the blood jump
through fellows veins to hear q pack
of hounds in full cry.
Neither the dogs nor the coon could
travel very fast, and for upwards of half
an hour we could hear them slashing
around in that soft, oozy mixture of mud
and water, until at last they freed. We
tried to reach them, but it was no use;
the coon had climbed into big gum
that stood about midway in the swamp,
with about four feet of water around its
butt. We fooled over that coon for up
wards of an hour, until Tom Sipple,
hearing the noise at his house, which
was only about two hundred yards dist
ant, on the hill, came down to us with
his gun. We were within about fifty or
sixty yards of the tree, and Tom hav-
ing on high gum boots, managed to
wade little bit nearer to the tree, but
nary coon could he see. There were
the dogs, however, some on fallen tree
trunks and some on floating brush, and
all barking up that big gum, which was
proof positive that the coon was "dar,"
as old Ben expressed it.
''rll give him blast anyhow" said
Tom, and he fired one load into the tree,
but nothing came down except a few
shattered twigs. Bang went the other
barrel, but the coon did not respond.
Tom had plenty of shells with him,
and he poured them into that gun live
ly, and at the seventh fire he succeeded
in dislOdging the gentleman, and down
he came kersplash into the water, and
of all the yelping, growing, splashing,
barking and k-yi-ing ever heard, this
display beat it.
Old Ben, in his eagerness to getwhere
he thought his puppies were, tripped
over brier vine and fell headforemost
into the mud and water The old fell
low attends to his religious duties regu-
larly on SUNDAY. but he had To LET loose
some pretty tall "cussin,'' to relieve his
feelings. Our Baltimore friend, in his
excitement, fell over log and sprawled
full length into the water, but he only
laughed. Finally, we got the coon
away from the dogs. 1t was a big one,
but pretty well used up. We all had
enough coon hunting for one night and
concluded to return home, all near
about used up, especially the Baltimore
man.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

One of the judges of the New York
bench stands credited with saying
that, had he been presiding at the
trial Of Gniteau, he would have
directed ga verdict of murder In the
first degree on the second day, and
sentenced him to be hanged on the
third"
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

There is imported into this country
annually 500, 900, 900 pounds Of coffee,
the value Of which is 500, OO0, 900;
IS 0OO, 900 pounds of tea, valued at
$4,000. 900; 1900. 0O0, 900 pounds Of
sugar, worth $4,000, 900. It viii thus
be seen that we spend each year for
coffee, tea and sugar, $3.50, 900, 900.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

The latest popular craze is a two-cent
red stamp and a one-cent blue stamp on
a white envelope. This is especially
the correct thing where young ladies
and gentlemen correspond. The blend
ing Of the colors, red, white and blue,
means union. 1t also means that the
variegated billet-doar, being prepaid,
win 60 through.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

When Texas couple stood up to be
married, the minister saw the handle of
a pistol protruding from the BRIDE
groom's pocket, and suggested that, out
of respect to the solemn ceremony, it be
laid aside. The advice was needed,
when the bride demurely drew q dag
ger from her bosom and tossed it be-
eide The other weapon. .<..--~.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

announces that his mourning will be
wholesale. Some of the passages are
intensely funny and in others the humor
is forced, with q tendency to slang; but
as a whole the innovation is very
laughable and the thing will no
doubt attract large audiences wherever
the piece is played.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

Mr.. Seth Green announces that any
one sending so cents to his address.
Rochester, N. Y, will receive from
800 to 500 eggs of the California
mountain trout for experiment in fish
culture. This species Is very hardy
and easily raised In comparison with
Eastern brook trout. ass ~
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
The Longest Speech,

The longest speech on record is pc
lieved to have been made by DIR. De
Cosmos in the legislature of British Co
l,rmbia, when a measure was pending
which would take from II great many
settlers their land. De Cosmos was ina
hopeless minority. The job had been
held back till the close of the session,
and unless legislation was taken before
noon of given day the act would fail.
The day before, De Cosmos got the
floor at 10 q. m., and began to speak
against the bill.
Its friends cared little, for they sup
posed that by one or two o'clock he
would be through, and the bill put on
its passage. One o'clock came and he
was still speaking. Two o'clock-he
was saying sin the second place"
Three o'clock-he produced q fearful
bundle of papers, and insisted on read
ing them.
The majority began to have suspic-
ions-he was going to speak till the
next noon, and Kill the bill. For q
| while they became merry over it; but as
it came on to dusk they got alarmed.
They tried Interruptions. but soon aban-
doned them, because each one afforded
him chance to digress and to rest.
They tried to shut him down, but that
gave him breathing space, and finally
| they settled down to watch the combat
between strength of will and weakness
of body. They gave him no mercy.
No adjournment for dinner: no chance
to do more than to wet his lips with
water; no wandering from the subject;
no sitting down. Members slipped out
to eat in relays, and returned to sleep,
but De Cosmos went on. The speaker
was alternately doing and trying to
look wide-awake. Day dawned, and
the majority slipped out in squads to
wash and breakfast, and De Cosmos
kept on. 1t can't be said it was very
logical, eloquent, or sustained speech.
There were repetitions and digressions.
But still he kept on until noon came to
a baffied majority. livid with rage and
impotence; and a single man was tri-
umphant, though his voice had sunk to
a husky whisper, his bloodshot eyes
were almost shut, his legs tottered, and
his baked lips were cracked and bloody,
He had spoken twenty-six hours, and
] saved the settlers their lands.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
Anecdotes of David Davis.

Mr.. David Davis. being now in the
line of brief Presidential career, the
anecdotes begin to flow in. A New
York Tribune writer remembers that
while OH the bench in Illinois, Davis
was so much interested in the election
of Lincoln that it often filled his mind
to the exclusion of other business. Dur
ing the course Of an argument lawyer
happened to say: And now, your
Honor, the matter rests in this State"
The last word reused the Judge from
his revery. Still thinking of the vote
he hoped Douglas would get, or rather
wouldn't get, in the State, Davis cried:
Estate! State! he won't carry Il coun-
ty." At another time he told lawyer
who was very anxious to go on with q
case in the absence If the counsel on
the other side, "We'll go on if you say
so. But ought to tell you that in such
cases | always think it my duty to look
out TOR the side that is not REPRESENTED
by counsel. We had case of that sort
in Tcrre llaute the other day, where
man insisted on going. on when the 9TH
CT side wasn't there, and singular as it
may seem, we beat that fellow y
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
THE GHOST WALKING SCENE.

In the fourth scene William gets him
self up in fine shape and rehearses the
ghost walking scene until he is entirely
satisfied with himself, while he INDUCES
In the following soliloquy.
think It the true business and no mistake; IL
can get him about half crazy can corral the
girl. Blamed IL he'd have far to go;
In this scene Twain has followed the
original text pretty closely. The follow
ing extracts will give general idea OF
his treatment of it:
Ham My fate cries out
And makes each petty artery in this body
[Ghost beckons
Still am called. Unhand me gentlemen,
breaking from them
BY heaven I'll make ghost of him that LET'S
say, away, Go on, mi ri follow thee.
WillismLOh, he's coming, I've got MIN
cranked already.
The narrowing tale which William, as
the Ghost, unfolds, runs in this practical
fashion:
am thy fathers spirit. Doomed to an ever
lasting swing around the circle. could tale
unfold that would lift your hat to the ceiling.
II there ever was slick olo fraud, your uncle
death were all wrong, although a. near right IA
all newspaper reports. Mountain fever never
got away with me. The man who Is now in my
shoes an ,Ss IN
tell you, Hamlet, that for good, quick, reliable
poison, consider prussic acid as unequaied.
j am willing to furnish TESTIMONIALS Tor the
trade.
The ghost then proceeds at considera-
bic length to tell Hamlet what to do and
how to get even with his uncle, inter
spersing his story with some side-spht-
ting ..asides'' which are in Twain's best
vein. Through the entire play the
pranks of William are indescribably lu-
dicrous, as he appears in the double role
of ghost and advisor to Hamlet in the
flesh. When not masquerading with
his Undertaking. seances, he is going
about with his brother trying to dis
suade him from doing anything rash
and telling him what an internal fool he
is for taking any stock in the supernat,
ural, occasionally Withdrawing to q
quiet place to hold his sides and laugh
when his hilarity threatens to escape
from his control. His prime idea Is te
get even on his uncle and step-father
for whom he has the most profound con
tempt, but when events thicken as the
direct result of his pranks he studies to un
do his work and on one occasion confess
es the fraud and tries to get Hamlet tt
look at the armor and mosquito net
ting, but Hamlet only looks upon it as
dodge to dissuade him from his pur
pose and will listen to nothing. Ii
the latter part of the play he soDer
down and allows events to take thei
course. In the closing scene he gaze
upon the work of death and coolly or
iders 70 bolt Of black GRAPE" while b
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06

Hamlet, do you swallow oil this? Don't You
know all these fellows are as crazy as bed bugs?
Do you s'pose the old man would walk around
this castle with his armor onp What I'm the
deuce does a ghost want OF armor! Besides, a
ghost amt capable of packin armor round.
Why, in the last few years before dad died. he
wasn't hardly able to waddle about in that one
hundred and ten pound suit. Don't you know,
when he came in from that last dress parade he
said he'd be switched If he'd ever put the old
brass toys on again? Pshaw, old boy, have
some sense.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
THE PLAY.

In his revised version Twain takes
liberties with the original text, which
strongly remind one of Boucicault adap-
ting French drama for the American
stage.
In the first act where Bernardo and
Francisco indulge in coiioquy on til,
platform along with Marcellus and
Horatio, William comes in and sets up
the refreshments for the guards out of
little black bottle, but refuses the two
latter to have a second pull at the flask
after they begin to talk of the appari-
ton. on the grounds that he does not
care to encourage so pronounced a case
of deliriun tremenS.
The guards then leave William to
himself and after they have disappeared
he burst into an immoderate fit of
laughter. He then slips away, and in
side scene is represented dressing him
self up in his fathers armor and COW
ering himself with some mosquito net
ting, making up ghost. AS soon as
his arrangements are complete he stalks
in and frightens the wits out of Bernar-
do and Horatio, making several tours
out in the side scenes, where he goes to
hide his merriment at the success of his
trick.
When Horatio is telling Hamlet of the
apparition, William listens with his
mouth wide open, apparently transfixed
with fear, Int after they are gone he
turns to Hamlet with:
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-01-06
TWAINs LATEST ODDITY.


Access has been had to the advanced
sheets of Mark Twain's new play, which
will be brought out in New York some
time during the coming winter. 1t is
not exactly a new play, but rather re-
vision of Hamlet. According to Twain's
idea Hamlet as it came from the pen of
Shakespeare was incomplete. Twain
assumes that man of Hamlet's melan-
choly and eccentric temperament must
OF necessity had a younger brother in
the family of more sprightly and sun
ny disposition. Twain srstains his
theory in the following ingenious argu-
ments:
We find in the history of England and parts
Ing letter from the king of Denmark to Tom
Sayers, an old friend of his:
DEAR ToM:-rhose b. ir-stufied boxing gloves
and foils came by the Mark Lane Express
Mark Lane who ran the express company was
a distant uncle OF the author-M. IT, In good
order, &. o. ID. Hamlet, my eldest son, being
OF taciturn and melancholy disposition. takes
very little stock In the gloves, as u blow on the
nose only serves to increase his melancholy.
Thus have given ye gloves to Billy, my sec
pins and u jOvial lad withal who takes kindly
TO 20 manly sport of boxing. Yesterday he
thumped his teacher most soundy on yc buglc,
ipI "uicu ny CIV IHH HilH u SIl-
ver-mounted wassail-bOwl, ilied to the upper
most rim with good brown ale. If you maze
your match with Crabb let me know, ana send
couple of tickets for seats pretty close to the
ropes. If you want backing, the whole ex-
chequer Of Denmark and the sub-treasury
thrown in is Yours truly,
King of Denmark.
From this historical scrap Mr. Gle
mems proceeds to reconstruct the play,
holding with no little show of reason
that Shakespeare had no license, poeti-
cal or otherwise, to give Hamlet prom
inence not accorded to his younger
brother. Twain continues:
Other letters from the King to Sayers, now in
my possession, being kindly loaned by the
British Museum, 20 to show that Shakespeare
had grIdge against Billy, the younger broth
err because when Shakespeare visited the palace
of Claudius, Billy put an old cande-snu1fer In
Shakspeare's boot, a frolicsome proceeding
which so incensed the bard that he never for
gave the young rascal. Persons who have had
candle-snuffers placed In their boots can readi-
ly appreciate the motives which governed the
poet In making no reference to Billy in the
play except where he appears to him
Like a widowed ear
Blasting his wholesome brother"
The events at Elsnora happened as have
written them. Shakespeare trauspoScd and dis
torted the facts and cannot conscientiously
allow these gross historical mistakes to pass
uncorrected.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-04-01
Ophiophagous.

If he were bolC who first swallowed
an oyster. surely the pioneer of snake
cookery was holder. though to my think
ing there is nothing in the whole rang.
ct edible things ST. absolutely repul>ive
IN it's appearance, habits and associat,n S
as that hi,Ieous Spidery crus.acnan. tn,
ctah-very delicious it is, nevertheless.
The katir and IIottentot eat snakes Il
al kinds even tue deadly putf-adl. /.
while the hushman not only regards
rhan' ,iesh as Il delicaCy, but consumes
without hesitation the animals he brings
down, his arrows tipped with adder's
venom. On the banks of the MISSISSIPPI
pi Musical Jack" means stewed rat
tlesnake, favurite dish, and one foI
which ingredients are never Lacking in
that infested region, Sir T. Mitchel Il
tells US thar the Australian aborigint>
France tissue or broth of vipprs il
highly esteemed for govt and scrofulous
affections. the big viper being the rep
tile used for its connection. The late
Frank auckland states that he has tast
ed boa constructor and found it to reSem
BILE veal somewhat, and gives an anus
ing acccpE. iE iii. '>Cur,osities of Nat
"rat History of his little girl appro
priating some snakes eggs and eating
them. under the impression that thew
were biz -plums. ALL the Yer
Round