davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07
THE NEW xOSgx SIN-FOR 1882.

The Sun for 1882 will make it's fifteenth
annual revolution under the present man
agement, shining, as always, for all, hi"
and little, mean and gracious, contented
and unhappy, Republican and Democrat,
| fuse. The Suns light is for mankind and
womank ind of every sort but its genial
warmth is tor the good, while it pours hot
persistently wicked.
The Sun of 1865 was a newspaper Of a
new kind. 1t discarded many of the forms.
and multitude of the supertluous words
and phrases Of ancient journalism. 1t un
IA i ofhn world
emitting no event OF human interest, and
comment upon affairs with the tearlcssnesS
this experiment was the success of The
Sun. 1t effected permanent change in
tine yle i eo
try in the dozen years past has beeu mod
elled after The sun. Every important
and bothered by the force of The SUMS OK
ample.
spoken, truth telling and interesting news
Bya liberal use of the means which an
abundant prosperity affords, we shall make
it better than ever before.
We shall print all the Iows, putting i!
portance. not by the traditionaljyard Stick,
but by it's real intcres to tho people.
In politics we have decided opinions; and
are accustomed to express them in Ian
guage that be understood We say
what we think about men and events. That
habit is the only secret Of The SUMS roliti-
cal course.
The Weekly Sun gathers into eight pages
the best matter Of the seven daily issues.
An Agricultural Depart mcnt Of uncIualled
merit, full market reports, and Il liberal
proportion Of lit crary, scientific and do
nestic Intelligent complete Tho WccllI v
Sun, and make it the best II newspaper for he
farmers household that was ever printed.
If our idea of what n newspaper 81 Guild bc
plcascs You, send for The sun.
Our terms are as fOllOWS:
For the Daily Sun, Il ionr-pagc sheet of
twentyeight columns, the price by mail,
post paid, is So cents !, month, Sc 80
year; or including the Sunday paper,
eight-pagc sheet of Eny-siN columns. the
price is SiNty-iivc cents per month, s. 30
Il year, postage paid
The Sunday edition of The Sun is also
furnished separately at 81 20 4 year, post
age pad.
The price of The Weekly sun, eight pages,
fifty-siN columns is 81 :, year, postage paid,
For clubs Of ton sending SO we will send
an extra copy.
Address. /. w. EN- GLANp,
Publisher Of The Sun, New York City
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

The art of shorthand is, it appears, to
De superseded by one of the queerest
inventions on record. The revolution
10 to be effected by means of a machine
called "glossograph," consisting of
six levers, forming sort of cage, each
communicating with q tracing pencil.
Inc use to be made of the oglosso.
graph" IS rather curious. While the
orator or lecturer is holding forth, the
reporter Is to repeat the words OF the
speaker with his tongue in the cage
Thus the quickest conversation, some
London journals tell us, may be taken
down with ease.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07
uoFFENsTE1N ON MARRIAGE.

ssMisder Hofenstein, vat you dink"
exclaimed Herman IN fiutter of
surprise, 81 shust get an Invitation to
the Wedding at my trent Moses POwski,
vot lifs by de Sorapuru market. He
was going to marry Miss Sallie I4iecht-
enfelder, whose fader keeps de shoe
store.'
"Does she hat any money!" inquired
Hoffenstein.
"Does he hat money ~
ono, sir.''
"Vell, den dey vas tam fools, you
know, und dey will find it oud. De
more man vas poor in dis world,
Herman, de more he wants to get mar
ried; if ne don't want to do dot, he
wants TO EXPRESS his opinion efery
chance he gets, ven it amt wort Won
cent on de dollar und he don't
represent ANGLING but an old va)ise.
Ven people get married or go around
dalking dey ought to hat someding to
back it up. People vot get married
und don't haf money vas shust like de
steamboat vot don't hat any steam und
fire in the boilers, you know. DE
pilot rings de bell und turns de veel,
but he don't 60 anyvere. You see in
de books, Herman, dot love laughs at
1OCh~ot"4Ntos tSH3 IL AANy az oo1 } Ou
know, but love nefer goes around
laughing at grocery bills, ind de land
lord vot don't get his rent. Love vas
very brave, but it gets weak in de
knees ven ANGLING like dot happens,
und you can bet on it. dink poor
woman should hat a :velty husband und
poor man a velty wife. If had my
way NIT dis world, and 1 heard uf II
poor young man vat wanted to marry
n girl no better Off as himself 1 would
chain him to post, Herman, shust to
keep de tam fool oud of trouble. "A
poor man nit any pride ought to know
dot If his love, und care, und protection
ia vert ANGLING, it is vert being paid
for at de best price he can get in de
market. De easiest way, und de most
pleasant, dot man makes money is
ven he marries n woman vot hat it. 1t
vas de safest piseness transaction in dc
world you risk no capital, und you
make big profit. DinlS uf it, Herman,
und watch your chance. Dousands of
velty und good young women hat mar
ried no.count fellows vot were so poor
dot de fieas wouldn't stay init dem, und
you must feel encouraged, you know.
No Won can dell vot woman vas going
to do.''
"But, Misder Hoffenstein," expost-
ulated Herman, elf a man marries a
woman vat he don't love, he Won't hat
any respect for himself no matter if
she vas velty."
"Neffer mind, my poy, neffer mind,
oder beeple will respect you. 1 know
a man vot drinks de same way as you
ven he married, und now he goes
around de streets wearing blue pants
NIT yellow patches. Dake my advise,
Herman, und don't let poor woman
rope you in." JOE G. Any.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

For some time prior to her death
there We're many reports in the news
papers in regard to the poverty of Mrs.
Abraham Lincoln. 1t now seems that
she was not at all troubled with inn
pecuniosity. Last week Robert Il. Lin
coin appeared in the county court at
Springfield, Illinois, and gave bond in
$50, 200 as administrator of the estate of
his mother. She had $4,000 in gov
eminent bonds.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07
THEORIES OF AIR NAVIGATION.

The recent successful aeronautic
crossing Of the English channel has
called to mind the fact that nearly one
hundred years ago, DR.. Jeffries, a Bo5-
tonian, made an aerial trip from Eng
land to France in company with a
EHrenchman; and the fact that Barnabys
air passage lately accomplished is look
ed upon as such q remarkable feat, indi-
cafes The very small advance that has
been made in the. science of cir naviga-
ton during the last century. 1t is now
regarded as pretty certain that if any
decided improvement is in future
made in this direction it will consist
in the complete abandonment Of the
system of using a large volume Of con-
fined gas to overcome the law of Eravi-
tation. The wind, it is argued from
this theory, is altogether too uncertain
in its movements to permit the free
use of a craft which can do nothing
but drift before it-while, of course, to
urge such 4 great light mass against a
strong gale would not be possible.
Scientific writer's havo lately expressed
the opinion that if the problem of air
navigation is ever solved the chances
are that it will be by using some light
and cOmpacted machine having enor-
NOUS power obtained by some system
for the storage of electricity, which
will in time be discovered. This pow
er would have to be applied rs the
muscular energy of bird is, to both
keep it aloft and urge it forward.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07
TOR SALE.

FOR SALE.
THE BEST REAL ESTATE INVEST
MENT IN NORTH LOUISIANA.
IOFFER FOR SALE sSTOWED AWAY"
the plantation tract of the late DR.. Gilman
NJ. Peck, decd of Richland parish. The
tract contains $50 acres of land, so acres in
cultivation and so an old deadening now be-
ing cleared up. This tract is located across
the neck OF large bend of Bnuff river,
one mile across and is known to be the best
tract on that river it is Is miles from
Monroe the river is navigable six months.
This tract has three advantages over any
tract situated on the Mississippi river, viz:
it is entirely aboye any overflow, has no
caving banks and no levee taxes. The
cleared land produces one and-a-half bales
to the acre, and rents for $3.50 per acre an
abundance Of labor on the place which will
always command it soil black mould,
mixed with little sand growth, ash,
gum, dogwood, oak, hickory, pawpau,
in abundance, waiting for the frying pan.
The projected X. X. from Alexandria to
southwest Arkansas will pass by this place.
Apply to
!. N. PECK,
Attorney in Fact, Sicily Island
Reference: Judge NJ. J. Liddell, Non
roe, La.
N. E.-This place has Il fine cypress
break and mill-seat for water powder.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

General Sherman, acting as secretary
of war, has accepted the resignation Of
George Stoneman as colonel on the re-
tired list, after thirty-siN years of SER
vice. Stoncman is the Democratic cam
didatc for governor of California, and
has II large income from his farm in
that State.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

Admiral Seymour and Gen. Wolse-
ley ought to feel very grateful to Arab
Bey. Ifhe had not rebeifed and made
a rumpus they would never have Sc
cured the distinction which will now
elevate them to the pecragc.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

An underground telegraph system
between Paris and Marscilles is nearly
ready for use.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

The pcrsimmon crop promises an
enormous yield this year, and lager
| beer is likely to be seriously affected.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

In 1851 Gen. Wolselcy, the Irish
hero, was poor clerk in = surveyors
office in Dublin. To-day he is on the
road to peeragc.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07
THE SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN,
/
l. FOR 1SS2.-
The 2fost Iol2t,its2' Scientific Itttc1. in Tire
World.
Only 1920 a Year, including Postage.
Weekly. 81 Numbers Il Year.

This widely circulated and SplendiulV il
Illustrated paper is published weekly. Eve
~ number contains sixteen pages of use
full information, and large number Of orig
coveries representing Engineering Works.
Steam Machinery. New Inventions. Novel
ties in Mechanics, Manufactures, Chemist
ry, Electricity, Telegraphy, Photography,
Architecture, Agriculture, Horticulture,
Natural History, etc.
All classes of readers find the Scientific
American 4 popular resume of tho best
the aim of the publishers to present it in
attractive form, avoiding as much as posi-
bic abtruse terms. To every intelligent
mind, this journal affords constant sup
ply OF Instructive readiug. 1t is promotiVe
of knowledge and progress in every COM
nunity where it circulates.
TERMS OF SUBSCRlPTIoN.-Onc copy Of
year-52 numbers-postage prepaid, to any
subscriber in the United States Canada,
on receipt of So 20 by the publishers; six
months. 81 60; three months, 81 90.
CLUBS.-One extra copy of the Scientific
American will be supplied gratis for every
club OF five subscribers at SIS 20 each; addi-
tiOnal copies at same prOportionate rate.
One copy Of the Scientific American and
one copy of the Scientific American Sup
prepaid. to any subscriber iii the United
States or Canada, on receipt of s. 90 by the
publishers.
The safest way to remit is by postal Or
der, draft, or express. Money carefully
placed inside OF cnvelops, securely sealed,
and correctly addressed, seldom gees astrsy,
but is at the sender's risk. Address all let
BILE to MUM e. CO.,
Park Row. New " Or1S
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1882-10-07

The Bank of England, in settlements
in fractions Of penny, reckons such
fractions in its own favor. 1t has thus
accumulated the astonishing sum of
$716,3 The London Economist cites
this as an example of the power accum-
ulation of small amounts, and praises
the wisdom Of the English government
in establishing the postal saving bank
in which deposits of one penny are re-
ceived. During the year 1881 the de-
posits in this institution were $l2 500, 900.
Something was heard during tho last
session of congress of government de-
pository on a similar plan for the benefit
of the people of small means in this
country, but the members were too
busy abstracting money from the gov
ernmcnt treasury to pay much attcn-
ton to it, and it was eventually lost
sight of.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
The Coming Flood.

Saws the Standard: The rise of .he
river is the great topic of interest at
the present time. Owing to the tele-
graph line to The Dal!es being down,
no yeportas to the stage of the water
in the upper Columbia have been
received for several days, but the
river here has kept rising steadily at
the rate of about a foot per day.
Yesterday there was general NOV
ing of heavy goods from the ground
floors of the stores on Front street
and building of platforms to elevate
goods above the expected rise. Par
ties who left The Dalles yesterday
morning report rise there during
the preceding "a hours of three feet.
The water was already in the Una
tllla House and other buildings along
the river. Hot weather prevails
East of the mountains, the thermome-
ter at The Dalles being on Wednes-
day 1929 in the shade. Many are
betting on the water being higher
than in 1876, and ttheir prospect OF
winning seems favorable. At mid
night the riyer.ias e. feet 2 inches
absve low water mark, only 4 feet
below the floods of 1880.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
The Letter that startled . Husband.


A broadway street merchants
wife yesterday gave him the follow
ing letter, with Instructions that it
should not be opened until he got
to his place of business: 81 am
forced to tell you something that I
know will trouble you, but it is my
dutysto do so. / am determined
you shall know it, let the result be
what it may. I have known for a
week that this trial was coming, but
kept it to myself until yesterday,
when it has reached a. crisis and l
cannot keep is ANY longer. You
must not censure me too harshly, for
you must reap the benefit as well as
myself. I do hope it won't crush
you. The -four is all out. Please
send me some this afternoon. l
thought that by this method you
would not forget it." The husband
tele2honed forthwith for a barrel of
the best -four in the market to be
sent to his home instanter.-Nash-
allie, Ze,aaa., american, Nay 18Th.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
HOW TO SHAKE HANDS.

There are only two or three people
now living who can successfully
shake hands. There is good deal
of handshaking done through the
country, especially at this season of
the year, but only a very small per
cent, of the shakers and shakees know
how to do it SO as to get the entire
amount of exhileration out of it.
Some grab the hand of an adversary
in a quick, nervous manner that
scares the victim nearly to death,
while others slide the cold and clam
my paw at you SO that you feel the
same as when you drop a cold raw
oyster, with vinegar on it, down
your back.
Ifyou are shaking hands with a
lady, incline the head forward with
a soft and graceful, yet half timia,
movement, like a boy climbing a
barbed-wire fence with fifty-pound
watermelon. Look gently in her
eyes with kind of a pleading sEssae.
/ 'oealin on 'ner ffsstJsHea q bright and
winsome beam, say something that
you have heard some one else say on
similar occasions, and in the mean
time shake her hand in subdued
yet vigorous way, not as though you
was try ing to make a mash by pull
verizing her fingers, nor yet in too
conservative a manner, allowing her
hand to fall with a sickenfng thud
when you let go. Care should be
taken also not to hang on to the
hand more than half an hour in pub
lie, as bystanders might make re-
marks. This is now considered
quite outre and naa,ae1ansus.-Bi1l
Maze
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
Great Electrical Discovery.

Mr.. Van Kysselberghe, Director
of the Belgian Meteorological Bu-
reau, has discovered system for
transmitting telegramsr and tele-
phonic messages simultaneously
along the same wire. The French
Minister of Posts and Telegraphs has
received in Paris from Brussels, SIM
ultaneouslY, a telegram of SO and a
telephone dispatch of 119 words.
The practical advantages of this in.
vention are estimated by the French
and Belgian Governments as OF the
utmost Importance.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17

by their widely different tastes. Eng
was very fond of sour apples in his
youth, and when at night he rolled
and tossed upon his couch with
large stock of eolic on hand, Chang
had to awake and get the benefit.
Later In life, Chang developed a
strange longing for the flowing bowl.
while Eng was Good Templar.
When Eng went to the lodge, the
worthy outside guard would refuse
to let Chang in, because he coulden't
give the password, and as Eng
coulden't go in and leave Chang in
the anti-room, he had to go home
and wait till another meeting. Eng
was Mason, and Chang was a
Knight Of Pythias, and sometimes
they used to give each other away
and have lots of fun.
Once in while Chang would get
an invitation to private party in a
set to which Eng did not belong,
and then they had to settle the ques-
ton by putting Etruscan noses on
each other as to whether they would
go or remain at home. Chang died
first and Eng died a few. hours later
at matter of courtesy. Eng was
not prepared to die, and regretted
that he was not consulted by Chang
before this important step was taken,
but he said it would save the expense
of two funerals, and be wanted to do
what was right.
The lives of these two men were
somewhat peculiar in many respects.
There were many little nameless an
noyances to which each was compell-
ed to submit, and which would not
at first occur to the student. For
instance, Chang had to get mp ard
90 for the doctor in company with
Eng whenever Eng's children had
the Group; and whenever Chang's
wife thought there was a burglar in
the woodshed, Eng had to get up in
his night shirt and go with his
brother in search of the villain.
They coulden't ride the festive
velocipede, and when Chang got
billing drunk, Eng had5to 60 to the
jug with him, and stay there till the
fine was paid. Among the many
blessings which cluster about us, and
are showered down upon us through
life, we are prone to lose sigh. of the
fact that with all our sorrows and
disappointments, we were not born
Siamese twins-Mye's Boomerang.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
Another Excitement at Ainswer.h.

Within a few days. says the Walla
Walla Statesman, the discovery has
been made OF a large tract of very
rich farming land, lying about half
way between the Northern Pacific
railway and a point on Snake river
about ten miles above Ainsworth.
The tract lies in the midst of sage
brush. is about two thousand acres
in extent, aud exceedingly rich:
About twenty claims have already
been taken. There is likely to be
some difficulty in getting water.
Parties are now engaged in sinking
wells. If they are successful in the
search for water, there will be rush
for the oasis.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
CHANG AND ENG.

In ansxefto a correspondent who
writes for information on the above
subject, we have condplied the follow
ing information:
Eng and Chang were born stimuli
taneously, on the 18th Of April, 1911,
and died at the age of sixty-three
years. They were connected togeth-
er by patent coupler, which enter
ed the body of each In the region of
the vest pocket. This connecting
arrangement necessarily threw them
q great deal In each others society.
When they were boys their lives
were rendered more or less unhappy
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Land office at Oregon City, Orggor

Land office at Oregon City, Oregon.
May 80, 1882.
NOTICE is HEREBY GIVEN THAT THE FOL-
N lowing named settler has flee notice Of his in
tention to make final proof in support of his claim.
and that said proof will be made before the County
Clerk of Benton County, ut Corvallis, Oregon, on
MONDAY, JULY 10, 1882.
viz Martin Van B. Springer, Homestead Application,
No. 314I, for the Lots l, 2, 5, Of Sec. 80, and
Lot 1, Sec 81. T. Is. s. R. low.
He names thefollowing witnesses to prove his con-
land, viz: B. J. Hawthorne, of Henderson. and
James R. Barclay. William D. Barclay, and r. s.
Mitchell of Tidewater, all of Benton County, Oregon.
No 4026 for the S, W. of s. W. Of Sec. 20, Lots
& 2, fsec. 27, and Lots & of Sec. 3s. I. 13,
s. r. low.
He names the following witnesses to prove his
continuous residence upon. snd cultivation &C. said
land zig: B, ,g.-Tawthorne Of Henderson, and Mar
tin V. Springer, William q 8arclay, and r. s. Mitch
ell, Of Tidewater, all of Benton County, Oregon.
IT. BAPIN, Register.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
ARE LUNCHES BADf

Alternate activity and rest is law
of nature for every part of the body
except the heart and blood vessels,
and for the mind Also. This law can
not be violated without more or less
harmful results, whether they are
noticed or not. The human stomach
must have periods of rest. or it will
weaken and finally fail. It is in one
sense the gristmill that supplies the
whole body uith nutriment. The
mill keeps to work as long as there
is anything in it to grind. An ordi-
nary heavy meal requires four to five
hours for being Dissolved and sent
out to the system; in weak stomachs
more time is needed. Then the
stomach wants quiet and rest of at
least an hour or two to recuperate
itself, during which the other parts of
the body and the mind may be ac-
tire. As rule, net less than six
hours% siasld intervenei between
meals. A lunh of any kind, even
| milk itself, if put MO the stomach
before it has disposed of he previous
| meal, and rested, is harmful. Lancn-
es between meals, nibbling at cake,
candy, fruit, at anything that must
be digested, keeps the stomach at
work, and robs it of rest absolutely
needed. Even beer and sugared
drinks have to be digested. The
feeling of faintness, of ''goneness''
experienced in the hay or harvest
field, usually comes from the disturb.
ance of a hearty breakfast or dinner
that, by.reason of hard work and de.
pressing heat, is still undigested.
The lunch quiets it, but partially uE-
fits the stomach for attacking the
next meal; the best way is to do
without the lunch; stop work when
too weary to do further, and rest at
least fifteen or twenty minutes before
taking food; then rest little more,
and gradually push on to ones full
measure OF strength. Attention to
these matters will wonderfully in
crease the amount of work, mental
and physical, which one can accom-
plish during a year or series ofyears.
American Agricasltsrist for jane.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-06-17
NERVOUS DEBD HY.
4 Serc Cure Guaranteed.

nR. E. c. wEsTs EERyE AND BRAIN TREAT
W ment q specific for Hysteria, Dizziness, Convul-
sions Nervous Headache, Mental Depression, Loss
Of Memory, spermatorhaa, Impotency, Involuntary
emissions premature old age, caused by over
exertion selfabuse over-indulgence, which leads
to misery, decay and DEATH One box will cure re-
cent cases Each box contains one months treat
ment !; one dollar abox, or six boxes for five dol
lars sent by mail prepaid receipt Of price. We
guarantee six boxes to cure any case. With each
order received by us for six boxes, accompanies
with five dollars, we will send the purchaser our
written guarantee to return the money the .treat
ment does not effect cure. Guarantees issued
only by
wholesale and Retail Druggists, Portland Oregon.
Orders by mail at regular pricss. lslSy1