The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-03-29
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

DOES q man break into humor when
lie cracks joke?
Ir IS no longer matter of pride TO
have high forehead. A COW has that,
and she is very low.ly.
In UNION there is strength. "Poor
Toms cold" but Tom and Jerry's hot
-BostOn Commercial Bulletin.
TIE best description we have ever
heard Of slow man was that he was too
slow TO get out Of his own way.-Lo,ocH
Courier.
WHEN tho washerwoman calls for o
young mans linen, does that make her
shirtcall Neckst. - SteuJenvite
Hcraid.
"1IosEY makes my ma 60" said little
Skeesicks when his mother, armed with
$50 greenback, left for downtown
shopping tour.
ESQUinER: Are plants in sleeping
room unhealthy? Notnecessarily. We've
seen some very healthy plants growing
in sleeping rooms.
"DoN'T You think that Miss Brown is
very sweet girl?" asked Henry. ooh,
yes, very sweet" replied Jane; "tlat is
to say, she is we'll preserved"
GAZE you dead, Tim?" satSan Irish
father TO his son, who had fallen down
well. "Not dead, father, but spache'
J less, came up from the depths.
No WOMAN Ger contcnted is,
No matter what she's got;
| For when she builds little house
| si5ho always wants lot
| -HacleqSick Republican,
"IT IS poor taste to laugh at your own
Jokes" said Henderson; something l
never do, through do say it. "Does
anybody else ever laugh at them?"
asked Fogg.
A BROOKLYN man has just found his
sister from whom he has been separated
fifty years. She was the cook in his
boarding house, and he recognized tho
style of her hash.
"HAvE you any faith in mince pie as
cure for headache?' asked one young
married lady Of another. eyes" was
the reply, "bring out your minco pie.
| get mince-pie headaches regularly"
WHEN Brown complained Of n rush Of
blood to the head Fogg endeavored to
ease his mind by reminding him that
nature abhors vacuum, and Browns
blood rushed to his head worse than
ever.
OMAN and wife are all one, are they? ?"
said she. "Yes; what OF it?' said he
suspiciously. "Why, in that case, "
said his wife, 81 came home awfully
tipsy lest night and feel terribly ashamed
Of myself this morning" He never said
, word.
T AT A YOUNG ladies' seminary recently,
: during an examination in history, one OF
} the pupils was interrogated thus
"Mary, did Martin Luther die natural
death?" "No, was the reply; "hc was
, communicated by II bull -Iiuvaro
4 LampOOn.
LITTLE EDITH was terribly sleepy tho
: other night. She began her customary
: prayer upon retiring, but when she go
as far rs "Our Father" her eyes closet
5 and her head tumblcd on to the pillow
q 81 tan't tay it tonight, she said, "I'n
J too s'eepy. He knows the vest of it"
y A LECTURER was once in o dilemm
u which he will probably never forget
y While talking about art he ventured til
Z assertion, "Art can never improve na
:. " ture." And at that moment some Oh
} in the audience cried out in gruif voice
Cant he? Well, then, how do yo
think you would look without your wig !?
"MEMoRY is wonderful thing" sal,
}, Jack Miller to his friend Dan Watts
It "Just think of what fellows head ca
: hold! It's gigantic, sir gigantic!
o Watts-I have often heard your friend
le say you have very fine memory, Jack.
'e Miller (lattered) )-"Well, that's vel
$. kind. Yes, have pretty good memory
50 Watts" Do you think you can reca
10 the ten dollars lent you three yea
q ago?"