Morris tribune., 1882-08-31
Courtships in Old Graveyards.

a Saratoga letter to the New York
Commercial says: II don't think there
is as much genuine love-making in Sara
, toga nowadays as there used to be years
ago." said old Sexton Palnueston, and he
leaned on his spade. They all seem to
be going for money. Why, haven't
had four genuine love cases in the grave
yard this year. Now, when man is 60
ing for money you don't see him bring
! ing his girl over here"
"How does he act when he is going for
money!" l asked
"Why, he spends his time around the
florists, he heaps presents on her, keeps
her room full of flowers, hands chairs on
the balcony, always stands ready with
music programme, looks after her mail,
always compliments her clothes, and--''
And what else?" | asked impatient-
ly.
''Why. the counting -for-money lover
even looks after his sweetheart's table.
He even goes and brides the head cook
to send her chicken livers en- brochette.
woodcock and Spanish mackerel. The
cooks always have these delicacies for
them. Oh! he gives his girl an elegant
time, but th"re's no love in it,"
"But how does the all-for-love young
man 60 to work?" I interrupted.
"Why, he don't fool around at dis
tance," said the old sexton, with bou-
| quets, and chairs, and programmes, and
nice breakfasts. He just quitely walks
his sweetheart over to this graveyard,
and, sitting on one of those benches out
under the trees yonder, he takes her
hand. He sits right down and attacks
her heart He don't fool around buying
flowers for her eyes, nor candies for her
tongue, nor perfumes for her nose; he
just gets his arm right around her heart,
and when it begins to throb and when her
cheek gets red and warm, he knows that
girl is his'n. Don't stand so near the
grave or it'll cave in) Why, that girl
would rather have one hour
warm graveyard counting than 400 years
of such icelerg counting as 1 see going
on over in the States parlors. I've seen
this courtin goin' on forty years. (By
jimminy, there's bone! Pm getting
too near that other grave.) 1 see old
gray-headed men every day riding up
here in carriages who courted their
wives in this graveyard forty wears ago.
There's R. L. Stuart, the wealthy sugar
retiner"-
"But he's all old bachelor" 1 inter-
rupted.
Never mini that. I tell you, my
benches could tell why he never got
married. He Lived the girl we'll enoug Oh,
and"-
"But who else do you remember see
ing here?" I asked.
"Why, there was Mr.. Winston, of the
Mutual Life. He used to walk around
here. thirty years ago, with beautiful
blonde girl. can see him now, kissing
that girl-but am not going to tell all l
know. Andrew H. Green, he married
girl he courted in my graveyard. Fer
nando Wood used to have seat here,
and Charles A. Dana, he used to know,
forty years ago, all about flirting in
graveyard. Old General James Watson
Webb, used to walk the young ladies up
here fifty years ago, and his son, the
doctor, why he could never get along at
all counting Miss. Vanderbilt till he got
heraway from the stuck-up States hotel,
and found himself one day
in one of my seats. knew Vanderbilt
would lose q daughter that night. l tell
you, these graveyard seats mean bust
ness every time. Did l ever have any
senators or governors on my seats?
Why, of course. Senator Herman court
ed two girls at once in this graveyard,
and President Arthur knows where all
the bes, seats are. They needn't be
ashamed Gift either, for Hamilton and
De Witt Clinton used to do the same
thing when they were boys
Boys will be boys" continued the old
man, as he jumped out of the grave,
s'and girls will be girls. Girls with big
hearts like to be loved, and fellows with
big hearts will kiss and love them.
don't care how straight their parents
make them sit up and down at the States,
they will occasionally get away and come
up here in the graveyard to act natural,
and Pm the last man to hinder 'em.
Why | often keep these graveyard gates
open till 8 O'Clock when there are gen.
uine lovers enough around to warrant it.
I don't mean firters. l mean real, gen.
uine lovers"
'.But how do the lovers manage down
at Long Branch and over to Newport,
when they have no graveyard handy"
/ asked.
II don't know, but they have mating
places somewhere. 'spect they sit out
IN the sand under the bluffs, or sit
around under umbrellas in the pavillions,
or get in dismal corners on the balconies.
They've got toby gosh, they've got tor
That's what the old Saratoga grave
yard philosopher said.