The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1882-02-16
HuMoRs OF THE DAY.

SINGS the dear little gas meter: "Men
may come and men may go, but go on :
forever"
LIZ THE good die young, how do you,
account for the bald-headed editors
Modern Argo.
MosT great singers are accused OF TAX
ing some slight stimulant, but Jew know
how much it takes to prime donna.
MARY had little clam"
And laid Ii on Johns ear,
Because she heard him cali the " maid"
'Mongst other things, MY dear.
CHURCH choirs seldom harmonize alto
gether, and their debates often baritone
Of contention which is de-bass-sing.
Oh, it is t'rebleI
WE ARE told that the ancient Egypt
ians honored cat when dead. The
ancient Egyptians knew when cat was
most to be honored.
"THERE is no accounting for tastes
Nonsense What is the work Of book
keeper in an eating house. but account
ing for tastes ?-Boston Transcript
SYRACUSE has q female architect.
Norristown hasn't female architect,
but she has more than one designing
woman -NorristoaDn Herald.
A CHICAGO girl has sued q man for
$40, 200 for hugging her twice. The
man who would hug q girl only twice de-
serves to be mulcted in heavy damages.
-Norristo,0n Herald.
THERE are three prominent phases OF
young woman's life, all visibly con-
nected As baby, she is lugged; As
young woman, she is hugged; as wife,
she is humbugged.
"HAvE you ever been whipped by
your teacher before?" he was asked by
his pa. And then the good little boy who
never told lie said: "No sir, and as
he went out he finished the sentence by
remarking "But I've been whipped be-
hind"
EXTRACT from q young lady's letter:
ssAnd, do you know, Maud and are
quite sure Captain Popple had taken too
much champagne at the ball, for he took
out his watch and looked hard at the
back of it and then muttered: Blesh
my shoul hadn't any idea it was that
time o. night"
"YoUR arguments are sound, my son,
and delivered with force" said the
Clergyman to his boy, who had been
banging at away at his drum for an hour
or more; "but we have heard quite
enough on that head" The boy stop
ped at once, with the aid of his mother
and hired girl.
"WHEN I grow up I'll be man, won't
! I?" asked o little Austin boy of his
| mother. eyes, my son, but if you want
| to be man you must be industrious at
| school, and learn how to behave your
self" "Why, mamma, do the lazy boys
turn out to be women when they grow
upY
| A DETROIT girl has sued man for
81 900 damages for hugging her twice.
That is too confounded high. But we
suppose while he was about it he could
have hugged her ten thousand times and
it wouldn't have cost any more. Michi-
gan men always let up to quick. -PecEs
Sun.
A LITTLE rascal: A boy who had been
watching through the keyhole the antics
of a couple of lovers, ran down into the
kitchen to announce his discovery to his
mother. "Oh, it's such fun !" he ex-
claimed. "What's such fun?" grayely
asked the old lady. "Why, to see sister
Molie and Mr.. Fipps play lunatic
asylum. Brooklyn Eagle.
NATURAL history for little ones: This
is a mule. He may look amiable, but
he isn't. He differs from the condor OF
the Andes. The condor scars; the mule
sours. That speck on the sky yonder is
the man who attempted to climb the
mules back by catching hold of his tail
When he comes down he will tell you
that the best way to mount mule is to
drop on him from the limb of tree
Chicago Tribune.