The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-11-30
manitowof pilot.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 80, 1882.
spoopsndYke stona smoking.

0poupcuuyhc Cups tuUElHSs
''My dear" said Mr. Spoopendyke.
rumpling his hair around over his head
and gazing at himself in the glass; my
dear, do you know | think | smoke too
much9 1t doesn't agree with me at
all"
Just what have always thought!''
chimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, land be-
sides, it makes the room smell SO. You
know this room
I'm not talking about the room,"
retorted Mr. Spoopendyke, with a snort.
81 N not aware that it affects the health
of the room. I'm talking about my
health this trip, and 1 think I'll break
off short. You don't catch me smoking
any MORE" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
yawned and stretched himself, and
pumped down in his easy chair and
glared out the window at the rain.
How are you going to break OFF,"
inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, drawing
up her sewing chair, and gazing up in
TO her husbands face admirirgly. 81
suppose the best way is not to think of
it at all'
The best way is for you to sit there
and cackle about itr' growled Mr..
Spoopendyke. If anything will dis
tract my attention from it that will.
Can't We think of something else TO talk
about? Don't We know some subjects
that don't smell like a tobacco planta-
tion?'
Certainly" cooed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, rather nonplussed. 1--WE might
talk about the rain. | suppose this is
really the equinox. How long will it
last, dear?"
Cast the equinox sputtered Mr..
Spoopendyke. Don't you know that
when man quits smoking it depresses
him? What dye want to talk about de-
pressing things for? Now's the time to
make me cheerful. If We don't know
any cheerful things, keep quiet"
''Of course" assented Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, you want subjects that will
draw your mind away from the habit of
smoking like you used to. Won't it be
nice when the long winter evenings
come, and the fire is lighted and you
have your slippers and paper
That's just the time Iwant cigarm
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, bounding
around in his chair and scowling at his
wife. "Aint We got sense enough to
single your tongue for minute? The
way you're keeping it up you'll drive
me back to my habit in less n an hour"
he continued solemnly, land then my
blood will be on your headr'
''Oh, dear!'' sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, 81 didn't mean to. Did you
notice about the comet? They say it is
going to drop into the sun and burn
up"
There We go againr' yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke. "You can't open your
mouth without suggesting something
that breaks me down! What dye want
to talk about fire for? Who wants fire
when he's stopped smoking? Two
minutes more and I'll have a pipe in
my mouthr' and Mr.. Spoopendyke
groaned dismally in contemplation of
the prospect.
I'm glad you're going to stay at
home to-day" continued Mrs, Spoopen-
dyke, soothingly. You'd be sure to
catch cold if you went out; and by and
by We'll have a piping hot dinner"
That's itn' squealed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, bounding out of his chair and
plunging around the room. you d
got to say something about q pipe!
knew how it would be! You want me
to smoke myself into an early gravel
You'll fetch IT. Don't give yourself
any uneasiness! You're on the trackm
and Mr.. Spoopendyke buried his face
in his hands and shook convulsively.
Il meant it for the best, my dear"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke Il
thought / was drawing-r'
That's itr' ripped Mr.. Spoopendyke.
drawing! You've driven me to it in
stead of keeping me from it. You know
how it's done! All you need now is a
lightning rod and dish of milk toast
to be an inebriates' home! Where S
that cigar | left here on the mantel?
Gimme my death warrant! Show me
my imported doom! Drag forth my
miniature collin!' and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke swept the contents of the Shelf
upon the floor and howled dismally.
'ISn't that it?" asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, pointing to small pile of snuff
on the chair in which Mr.. Spoopendyk Ike
had been sitting. That looks like it. !"
"Wah!' yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
grasping his hat and making for the
door. Another time | swear off you
60 into the country. you hear?' and
Mr.. Spoopendyke dashed out of the
house and steered for the nearest to-
bacco shop.
Il don't care" muttered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke; ''when he swears off again I'm
willing to leave, and in the meantime /
suppose he'll be healthier without his
pipe. so III hang it up on the wall
where he'll never think of looking for
1t, and having consigned the tobacco
to the flames, Mrs. Spoopendyke
gathered her sewing materials around
her and double clinched an old resolu-
ton never to lose her temper. no mat
ter what happened. BROOKLYN Eaqle.