Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1882-06-22
Advice to a Young Man.

Oh, yes, I understand all that, my son. l
have heard much of that before. You mourn
and grieve over the lack of true womanhood
among the girls of your acquaintance. Mere
butterflies of fashion, you say, who can rat
tie the keys of a grand piano, dance like
fairies, chatter nonsense and society nothings
by the hour, but for their lives cannot bake
loaf of bread, roast turkey, do days
washing or make shirt. You say you de-
mand the noblest type of womanhood in
your wife, and you want to know where you
can find the wife you want? Well, will
tell you, my dear boy. If this is the sort of
a woman you want marry Nora Mulllgan,
your laundress's daughter. She wears cow
hide shoes, is guiltless of corsets, never had
a sick day in her life, takes in washing, goes
house cleaning and cooks for family OF
seven children, her mother and three section
men who board with her. l don't think she
would marry you, because Con Regan, the
track walker, is her style Of man. She is
the useful sort of woman you appear to
want; but don't think she'd look at you
twice. Let us just examine into your quail
fications as a model husband after your own
matrimonial ideas, my boy. Can you shoul-
der barrel of flour and carry it down Gel
lar? Can you saw and split ten cords of
wood in the fall, so as to have ready fuel all
winter? Telemacus, those twenty-three
inches of coat padded out over sixteen inches
of shoulders wouldn't help you cents
worth. Dou you know, my son-look me In
the eye-do you know how to measure ten
cords of wood after the man has piled it in
five irregular heaps and tells you it is all
there? Do you know how to pick over the
apples after Christmas? Do you know how
to watch the shoeing of your own horse-if
you drive one-and can you tell timothy
from prairie hay when you are buying it
Can you spade up half an acre of ground for
a kitchen garden? Do you know what will
take the limey taste out of the new cistern,
and can you patch the little leak III the
kitchen roof?
What would you do if hoop fell off the
flour barrel? Suppose the chimney gets
choked up? If the front door binds at the
top? What if mortise lock gets out OF
order? If an extra shelf is wanted in the
pantry? Or two or three little houses for
the hens with broods of chicks? Do you
know how to fix pump when it chokes
Can YOU make two or three tree boxes for
the shade trees you planted on the sidewalk
if YOU knew how to plant them? Can you
do anything about the house that Con Regan
can? My dear boy, you see why Nora Null
Iigan will have none of you; she wants a
higher type of true manhood. You expect
to hire men to do all the mans work about
the house, but you want your wife to do
everything that any woman can do Be
lieve me, my dear son. nine-tenths OF the
girls who play the piano and sing SO charm
ingly, whom you in your limited knowledge
set down as "mere butterflies of fashion" are
hetter fitted for wives than YOU are for huS-
band The girls know more about these
things than you do. If you want to marry
first class cook and experienced housekeep-
er, do your courting in the intelligence office
But if you want wife, marry the girl you
love, with dimpled hands and face like the
sunlight, and her love will teach her all
these things, my boy, long before you have
learned one-half of your own lesson.