Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-05-30


parents generally rs nuisance, and
often they are right. Nineteenth OF
the sparkling is done by boys who
haven't got their growth, and they
look so green that il is laughable for
the old folks 10 look at them They
haven't generally got second shirt,
and they are no more qualified than a
COW is 10 preach. Aud yet marrying
is the first thing they think Of. A
green boy, without a dollar, present
or prospective, sparkling girl regu
larly and talking about marrying, is
spectacle for gods and men. He
should be reasoned with, and if he
wont quit till he is able TO support
wife, and 10 know whom he loves and
the difference between love and pas
sion, he should be quarantined or put
in n convent, erected on purpose for
such cases. Nine.tenths Of the IN.
happy marriages are the result Of
green human beings allowed TO run at
large in the society pasture without
any yokes on them. They marry aud
have children before they do mus.
laches; they are fathers Of twins be-
fore they are proprietors Of two pair
of pants, and the little girls they mar
~ are old women before they are 20
years old. Occasionally one Of these
gosling marriages turn out all right,
butt Is a clear case of luck. II there
was a law against young galoois spar
king and marrying before they have
their teeth cut, we suppose the little
cuses would evade il in some way,
but there ought 20 be a sentiment
against IT, Il is time enough for these
bantams 10 think Of finding pullet
when they have raised money enough
by their own work 10 buy bundle Of
laths 10 build hen-house. But they
see girl who looks cunning, and
there are not going 10 be enough girls
10 go around, aud then they begin to
get ia their work real spry. aud before
they are aware of the sanctity Of the
marriage they are hiiched for life. and
before they own a cook stove or bed
stead they have 10 get up in the night
aud 90 after doctor 50 frightened
that they run themselves out Of
breath; abuse the doctor because he
does not run too; when the doctor gets
there he finds that there is not enough
linen in the house TO wrap up a doll
baby. II is about this time that a
Young man begins TO realize that he
has been a colossal fool, and as he
hiesr around 10 heat water and bring
in the bath tub and goes whooping
after his mother or her mother, his
hair turns red in single night and
he calls high heaven TO witness that II
he lives till morning, which he has
doubts about. he will turn over a new
leaf and never get married till he is
older. Aud in the morning the green
looking "father" is aroused before a
drug store is open, aud with no collar
on, his hair sticking every way, his
eyes bloodshot, and his frame nervous,
he waits for the clerk to open the
door 80 he can get saffron to make
some tea Of Les than year ago
he thought he was the greatest man
there was any where. but as he sits
there in the house that morning, with
his wedding coat rusty and shiny, and
his pants irayed at the bottom, and
his coat patched at the elbow and the
nurse puts in his arms little roll OF
flannel with baby hid in il, he holds
il as he would a banana and as he
looks at his girl wife on the bed. near
ly dead from pain and exhaustion, and
he thinks there is not enough prdvis-
ION in the house to feed a canary, a
lump comes in his throat, and he says
if he had it all TO do over. he would
leave the little girl at home 10 grow
up with her mother, and he would
wait till he had six dollars 10 buy
baby flannel and ten dollars to pay q
doctor.
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