Daily globe., 1882-09-18
MISS BOAK TO THE FRONT

-
body to be Compelled to Get Drunk-A
Gay Picture.
To the Editor of the Globe,
viii you allow me to write few lines
in behalf of the temperance cause? My
conscience tells me to speak.
The temperance question has been dis
cussed for years and perhaps centuries
with no effect You can preach temper
ance to the end of your existence and it
will avail nothing; therefore stop preach
ing temperance and study human nature,
causes, effects, etc., and then you may pos
sibly learn how to avoid this great evil.
Men are all obstinate as mules, and the
more you lecture them the more obstinate
they become. 1t is always better to allow
them their own way. 1t is an unkind and
stupid world that will not allow man his
own way. God never created two persons
exactly alike. Why do they drink? Who
can solve the problem? We sometimes
find the vilest drunkards brilliant, kind
and noble. Old Satan is born in all of us
more or less. I have no faith in sanctifica-
ton, neither do I believe in total deprav-
ity. We must take philosophical view of
life and the evils thereof. Train up
child in the way he should go, but before
we begin training we must study the true
nature of the child, his strong and weak
points. Sometimes the training requires
years and decades, and some never become
thoroughlytrained.I 1t is better to allow every
one a fair show in each ease. This is a
progressive age, and an enlightened peo-
pie must see to be fully convinced. Take
an obstinate, ,rebellious boy and preach tenn
perance to him from his cradle. Tell him
it is naughty to drink whisky, and he will
have desire to taste it, and will embrace
every opportunity to do so. But make
him drink it-tell him it is medicine and
he must drink it-put his nose in whisky
barrel and compel him to keep it there
until he is so thoroughly disguised he can
endure it there no longer, and the chances
are he will grow up a temperance man,
and will never drink drop of that horrid
medicine. The absurdities of human
fancy.
Give any one too much of one kind of
food, and they will turn away disgusted.
Now we will show you the drunkard and
later will present to you the temperance
man. Turn them all loose, and see which,
the temperance man or the whisky man,
will come out the victor, give them both a
fair start in the chase.
Nothing is more natural than drunk
ard. Then you can read the inner soul,
you see the natural man as he is. Then,
and then only, they become as little chill
dren. It is quite interesting to see drunk
ard treading his zig-zag way most grace
fully. He reminds one of little child Just
learning to walk. I am quite fond of lit
tie ones, and it is my delight to see cum
ming little baby trying to walk and to
reach out my hands and catch the little
darling before it falls. Such are my feel
ings toward drunkard. My heart al
ways goes out ia tender sympathy towards
him. l long to take the helpless hand in
my own, and lead him safely. as would a
little child, to the end of his journey. A
drunkard on the street reminds one of a
circus actors first attempt at walking a
tight rope. 1t is then 1 feel fully con-
vinced that the Darwin theory is nearly
correct, only differ from Darwin as to
the monkey being the only origin of man;
it's the monkey, donkey, sheep, pig, deer,
mule, etc.
A woman will paint her cgeeks and lips
red and her eyebrows black, when drunk
ard can have black eye and red cheeks
without painting. The color of the
nose is only matter of taste
If it was fashionable to paint the nose
red woman would surely do it. A woman
who paints has no right to scorn drunk
ard with black eye, red face and nose, for
1 would sooner by far kiss a red faced
drunkard than woman with painted lips.
If / were man and had a wife who
painted I would make her drink whisky
until her cheeks were as red as paint could
make them.
The most genteel ornament for dinner
table is whisky bottle. The swellest res
idence is the one that has whisky barrel
modestly stored away in a secret corner in
the cellar. When man is drunk he will
always be strictly truthful, but you can fre-
quently doubt his veracity when sober.
My Christian friends, would not marry a
man unless he was drunkard. If he would
ask me to marry him when he was drunk
would say yes, but if he would ask me
when sober / would think he was only fun
ming and would say no.
The biggest swell in the land is the
drunkard; he has his liberty, his rights.
And then to see a blue coated one with
brass buttons escort him to the government
headquarters. 'Tis most enviable. How
many of our fastidious young ladies would
blush with delight to be escorted to the
church by a gentleman in blue and brass but
tons? Don't hide behind your fan and say
it is not true, for am a woman and know
something of woman's mind.
would like to see Oscar Wilde drunk
He would remind one of monkey on
stick.
You will pay fifty cents to see the tum-
bic down antics of a painted-faced clown,
and allow drunkard to 60 unappreciated.
1t would be most interesting to see
drunken military procession, to see the
whole American army drunk at the same
time, the president and the whole cabinet.
Instead of preaching temperance there
ought to be law passed that one-half the
population of the United States, men
women and children, should be compelled
to get drunk for one week, and allow the
other half to witness the performance, and
you would realize the most comical farce
and heavier tragedy than any artist ever
played upon the stage; larger menagerie
of animals than was ever exhibited.
l.