Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-10-11
lie That Hath Ears 10 Hear.


The popular notion about ears is that
they are organs OF hearing. IL they
were nothing more, the visible portion
of them might well be abolished, or ut
least converted into objects Of beauty.
They possibly aid in conveying sounds
to the drum, but not very much. be-
cause chickens have little difficulty in
hearing, and donkeys arc not known to
be sensitive to noise. IL they were,
they would either never have learned
to bray, or long since abandoned the
habit. But ears have other uses, and
as n means of moral discipline and cor
rection, play no mean part in domestic
and social experiences. The boy or
girl who has ever had them boxed I'M
derstands, at least for a few moments,
how much emphasis parent or teach
er can lay upon his Instructions; and
neither child nor pupil wants " any
more upon that head for some time to
come.
But the ear serves still another pur-
pose in moral discipline. II is useful
as handle to lead the erring one from
vice and danger and bring him back TO
the paths of rectitude and the domicile
OF virtue. The Cincinnati man who
boldly entered the theater during a
matinee performance and taking hold
of his wife by the ear led her gently
homeward and installed her again in
the midst of her domestic duties, well
comprehended the value of his wife's
ear when properly employed. He had
in vain applied his mouth to that organ.
He might as we'll have talked to an ear
of corn. But when at last, tired of the
dramatic flavor she gave to the ordi-
nary incidents of life, he snatched her
by the ear away from the temptations
which did so easily upset her, he ac-
complished, according to his own
statement, what years of remonstrance
had failed to do. 1t broke up the habit.
cit put stop to his wife's attending
matinees, and called public attention to
terrible evil" He had already threat
ened to do it, and thinks that, under
all this provocation, he would have been
"a Sheep not to have done it. He
appeals to other husbands and fathers
who suffer from the matinee malady to
cheer and sustain him in his views of
what is due to domestic and public
morality.
1t is plain, however, that he Is not To
have q monopoly of his discovery of q
new and right use to which to put the
human ear. The sword and the spear
are weapons which women cannot well
use, but the revolver puts them on an
equality with man. So this new instru-
mcnt of moral education and discipline
is destined to be welded with equal, il
not greater success, by the sex that has
the honof of being the first to suffer
from its introduction into the code.
The Ohio woman, quick to recognize
the efficacy of the new method, has al
ready adopted it. The other night, af-
ter waiting at home until late hour,
she armed herself with lantern, and,
like Diogenes, went out looking for a
man. At last she found him drinking
beer and playing cards in saloon. The
cards fell on the floor. The beer mugs
went under the table. There was q
dreadful silence. In the middle of il
she approached, seized her husband S
car. and with firm grasp led him to
his home. The next night he was missed
from his accustomed seat, and has not
yet been heard from.
Those Ohio husbands who so rashly
and loudly applaud the conduct OF the
Cincinnati man have found some other
use for their hands than clapping them
in approval of his invention. They arc
clapping them to their ears. -Dctr0ii
Froe Press