The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-03-10

A HALF loaf is better than . whole
loafer.
NEVER too late to mend-A torn ten
dollar note.
A REAL estate moving q cart
load of dirt.
A LOVER has oil the qualities hus-
hand has not.
A FOOL and an ACCORDION are both
easily d,awn out.
WHAT is sauce for the turkey is cram
berry + L the dinner guests.
Man wants but little here below, and
that's just about What he gets.
BANK cashiers are generally smart fell
lows, but they are fir quently Eighty.
OFALL shares, pillow shares are the most
riiable. They always turn out some
thing.
THERE are people who will buy any
thing on sight ii they can be allowed to
pay Tor it on time. -Nei0 Orleans Pea
ytae.
''ITs scold day when l get left, Iai-
tippe remarked when Socrates went OH
t. tile circus without her. Burlington
Ha,Okeye.
A DERBY doctor killed fox, and the
Derby Transcript sardonically remarks:
1.-The doctor means business when he
gets after EN-.
my daughter, exclaimed fashion
able mother, Isis innocence itself. You
can't say anything in her presence that
will MAKE her blush"
SOLOMON is said to have had some nine
hundred wives of all sorts. What it
must have cost him for fries In boxes
when he stayed out late.
HENS scratch up flower beds only when
they are barefooted. That's why women
run out and "shoo" the hens to keep
them from doing damage.
HAIL to the thief who in triumph advances,
The more he steals the more renown,
The bigger his pile the more he Frances,
And cash keeps him up, while others go down.
Hampton.
IF some religious people we know
would prey on their neighbors less and
their knees more, the world would be
better Oft --Batimors Every Saturday.
"MAMIE,' said he, and his voice was
singularly low, Twill You be my wife ?
Viii you cling to me as the tender vine
ciings to the" "Yes, l catch Oh, -
said she.
A New YORK tourist who ate an ALI
gator for b. efsteak III Florida didn't
get the taste out of his mouth until he
had eaten half peck of onions and four
dozen herrings.
A PREACHER who had turned specu-
lator and bought lot of hogs on ris-
ing market, relegraphed his agent
Hold the pork, for / am coming. -
,&est6GnviIte HeraLd.
SHAKEsPEARE asks, Whats in q
name?' Welt, it is n good thing, some.
times. Not necessarily for publica-
ton, but merely rs guarantee of good
faith. -D,t.'oH Free Press.
Il call that very rare" said Jones to
aworkman who had done some work for
him. "Ah ?" answered the workman.
highly tickled. g Yes, went on Jones,
"rare, very rare-not half done" That
cooked the workman, and he retired. -
SteubenVittC Herdta.
A FASHIONABLE lady witness tainted
dead away while giving her testimony.
and the doctor who was summoned said
it resulted from her corset beirg too
tight. The incident was very properly
entered upon the minutes of the case as
"a stay Ia the proceedings"
A PROMINENT citizen, whose idiosyn.
Grassy is that of becoming intoxicated and
going 10 bed with his clothes on, was
surprised with the following the Other
morning, from his wife "You we're not
as drunk as usual last night, Henry,
dear, were you?" "Well, l don'i
KNOW" said he; "what makes you think
SOP" Why" she replied, Il see you
took your overshoes Oft before you went
to bed.