New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-23
Hand shakinr .nd Hand.sh.ker..

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am not unsociable, but I had rather
not shake hands with everybody; and ]
am quite sure good many people
would rather not shake hands with me.
Then why do we do it? It is just one Of
those unwritten laws which might with
advantage often be more honored In the
breach than in the observance; Just q
matter in which people trust their in
stincts, and in which their instincts are
really not to be trusted. / am dead
against the current frequency of hand
shaking in society. Jones drops in for
an afternoon call; he does not really
want to see Jones; when he comes I
shake hands with him. more or less;
when he leaves, in five minutes, he
shakes hands with me, less or more.
hate Jones' hand, because it is always
damp; Jones knows that as we'll as
do, and sometimes offers me his hand
gloved-but / detest a gloved hand
had rather not shake hands at all. II
must do SO, will do it once, and
no more; no one but lover wants to
shake hands more than once in five min
utes.
But Jones has q detestable habit Of
lingering on bis way out. He gets up
to 60. l give him my hand. It's over!
No, it's not. A picture catches his eye.
He turns and says with q shipper, cap
pital portrait, pom my wordr' Eye
as" l say, half accompanying him to
the door. "Who's it by?'' .'O-by-
Smearun,,. r. A." Dear me! he paint
cd--a-who did he paint?'' don't
know; paints every b0dy-paints him
self. > ''Really-a-good-bye! Shakes
hands again; but before he has got
through the door, he remembers mes
sage from his wife. I'll see him out: he
shan't get into the room again. u go
into the passage with him. I accom-
pany him to the door. He shakes hands
again ut the door! There ought to be
some rule about this. 1t should be un-
derstood that once is enough in one
visit. OF course, know we often shake
hands with man to finish an interview
and bow him out. Well, that is for our
own convenience, although it does not
always act-just as q mans after.din-
ner speech is sometimes applauded rap
turonsly In the middle to make him
sit down-but he does not always sit
down.
Those people who shake hands should
consider their ways. / hate man, for
instance, who can't leave off shaking
hands. He begins SO heartily, YOU
think he will soon be done. He relaxes
his grip, you attempt to withdraw; but
he tightens it aegain; he holds you in 4
vice. You begin to shake him up and
down. when you suddenly find he has
dropped your hand like 4 hot potato,
aud you are left shaking the air!: This
is bad enough, but the wooden shake ID
almost worse. A hand IL stretched ont.
and you get nothing but the sensation
Of bone-angular bone; there is no flesh
and blood, no grip-the hand might be.
long to lay figure. I. don't want to
shake hands with . lay figure. Then
object to the -crusher. Ladies suffer
more than gentlemen from the festive
''bore. = because they wear moro rings;
he seizes you impulsively, and manages
to crunch your fingers vertically one on
the top Of the other. You don't Ike Ia
screami yon are girl, or to show dis.
pleasure # you are . man, but you are
dread fully hurt, and ,you. suffer .whaa
Mrs Gamp,calleds ..alla tho tostoises 81
the imposition from the oppre ! af.
Sfusive, but iron, grip. Then there IS tie
dabby, pulseleas ashake, which means
nothing, or means !. yota ars less than
{ nothing TO me. and I hope ! am the
Same To- ou. Z SO
lairal 8 - bsought % England "a
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