The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1882-12-21
The Majors Artificial Leg.

Major Todd, of Bangor, Me, lost his
right leg at the battle OF Fredericksburg,
and some time ago he purchased an ar
tiiical leg from a man in Washington.
II contained system Of springs which
enabled the Major TO use it in such II
natural manner that when he was walk
ing along the street nobody would for
moment suppose that he had not both
of his own legs.
One Sunday. while the Major was on
his way TO church, he slipped up on the
ice and gave the store leg severe
wrench. He must have dislocated some
of the springs; for, after reaching the
church and taking his seat, and while
the clergyman was reading the Script
ures. the leg suddenly flew up and rest
ed on the back of the seat in front OF
him The congregation looked at him
in amazement, and he grew very red in
the face. As soon MS he took it down
il jumped up again and wiggled about
on the back of the pew finally kicking
Mrs. Thompson S bonnett TO rags Then
the Major suppressed it again, and held
it down, but il instantly began con
vulsive movement in his own pew, dur
ing VIII ch it upset the stools, plunged
around among the hymn books and
hats, and hammered the board beneath
the seat until the minister had to stop.
The sexton came rushing in to find out
what was the matter and the Major,
after explaining the difficulty in whis-
per, asked the sextl n to let him lean
on him while he charged on the front
door. As soon as the Major got into
the aisle that dislocated leg kicked the
sexton sixteen or seventeen times in q
most insolent manner, var, ing the eX-
erciseS by making eccentric swoops oil
TO one side, during which it kicked
eight of the high hats at the pew doors
into black silk chaos.
BY the time the Major reached the
vestibule the leg had become perfectly
reckless. 1t flew up before and it few
up behind. 1t butted against the good
| leg, and darted out sidewise, and de-
scribed circles, and tried to insert its
toes in the Major coat-tail pockets,
and to whack him on the nose. When
the sexton came with the hack and put
the Major in it the leg banged through
the window-glass, and when the driver
got down to see about it the leg brand
| ished itself in his face. and concluded
| biO VhNiCloJ Wy plhhbiiiS Aollipfo bipN
in his stomach. Then the Major told
the driver that he would give him ter
dollars to take the leg off, and tht
driver accepted the offer. For severa
minutes it emded all his efforts 10 catcl
it as it danced about, but finally he 60
hold of it and hung on while the Maiol
tried to unbuckle the straps. Then j
came off and rolled the driver in Tho
mud. He got up TO watch it. i
writhed and kicked and jumped ant
throbbed and hoped; and whenever /
would make dash to one side or thu
other the crowd would scatter in ordel
TO give it full play. Finally Ben Wool
lev set his dog on it. and most excit
ing contest ensued. the leg two or thre'
times running of with the dog; and i
seemed likely that the dog would ge
whipped. Mr.. Woolley got crow-ba
and aimed blow at the leg with tn,
intent to smash it, But he missed i
and nearly killed the dog As soon a
the dog retired, Mr.. Woolley whacke,
it again and burst it into flinders, an'
then there was peace. TIE Mao
drove home and got his crutches, an,
since then he has confined himself 4
the use of a wooden leg withou
springs. = Chicago Herald.