Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-06-01
COPS smILE.
SPICE AND ALlSPICE.


contest.
A GRAIN OF comfort-wheat. Some pre-
fer rye, however.
A GOOD time to pick up stocks--when
they are dropped.
MANY men of many mines-Sbaron,
Flood, Mackey & Co.
IN western mine there is this notice:
Do not fall down this shaft, as there
are men at work at the bottom of it"
The stovepipe joke was original with
Hamlet when he remarked, "The time is
out of joint"
"THERE," said the dealer, "is car
pet that can't be beat" And the man
bought it. He hates carpet-beatiDg.
"LIsrEN, auntie-What's that !" cit
is the cuckoo, darling. Don't you know
the cuckoo?" "Oh, yes! The cuckoo's
that horrid bird that doesn't lay it's own
eggs. Punch.
A WAC, speaking of friend whom he
suspected of living altogether beyond
his means, observed that he believed he
"would owe several thousand dollars
after all his debts we're paid"
The substitute of "b, for "p,"
in the Boston Advertisers otherwise
beautiful account of some Emerson me
mortal services made line of poem ap
pear: "We brayed and sang together
A CONGRESSMAN who doesn't scatter
six or eight bushels of Agricultural De-
partment seeds among has constituents
must make the next campaign on bis
temperance record. - Detroit Fret
Press.
The poetical and the practical-Senti.
mental diner: "Eat lark! Partake OF
one of the choiripg soLgsters OF beavep'l
gate! l would as soon eat a bynu"
Practical friend: " Ya-as, never touch
small birds-they all ieed on worms"
In an editors room in Fleet Street,
London, skull is nailed up against one
of the desks. Underneath is written in
large letters, This is Smith, who did
not like an article about bipse'f, and
was rash enough to say so."-Ppnoh.
$50 the old Tightfst is very sick
Have they given up ali bope?' Fog
Yes, all hope" BIowI-"Very SD,
isn't it?" Fogg-" Very sal" They
did have strong hopes until yesterday,
but now they fear he is going 10 get
well. ."-Boston Transcript.
"THEsHEs shtairs take feller's breath
way" said Sozzle, as he clim bed YEARLY
bedward at A. N. Il wish they would
take it away to the bar-room where you
got it, said Mrs. s., as the old gentleman
lprched into his room.-Boston Com
merciak Bulletin.
PATTI says it is her ambition to live
quietly and sing to the poor" Her
system of gratifying this ambition is to
take mighty good care that by the time
people get in where they can hear her
sing they are very poor Chicago In
r-Ocean.
AFTER the circus is over, after the
wild beast show is done: First son of
toll (ecstatieally)-"Th was a bully
show. Did you see the lion-tamer, hey ?"
Second son of toll" Didn't L? l tell
you 1t iahho2 him to boss lion. Why, he
Just knocked that o.d !inness about as If
she had been his wife,"
THE czar never receives anybody afte,
l o'clock. The remainder of the day he
spends in the palace b-cellar, locked
in Marvingovski fire-proof safe, clad in
his cast-iron ulster. He received Lieu
tenant Danenhower at 2, however, on
that gentleman making an affidavit that
he wasn't Nihiist, and could not plsy
on the cornet.-Puck.
"ANp how is your neighbor, Mrs.
Browu?" inquired one nicely-dressed
LADY OF another. "She's we'll enough l
suppose. I haven't seen her to speak
to her for six weeks" "I thought you
were ON the most friendly terms"
Well, we used to be, but we've exchanged
servants. ."-Quiz.
THERE are occasionally brave women
in this world. A Philadelphia lady
heard burglars breaking into her house.
She arose, called the bulldog and seized
the shotgun. Then she opened the
door and let the dog out. Then she al
most Immediately fred the gun. The
dogs hide was too much perforated to
sell for anything.
"WHY do they call the man who gets
married the groom, pap asked little
Alexander. because he curries favor
with his mother-in-law," said Phillip,
"and saddle his debts on his wifes
father, puts q check on her cousins
visits, whips the children, and drives
while the rest of the family pulls.
Burlington Hawkeye.
A MODERN suggestion: Professor to
classical student Atlas supported
toe world, who supported Atlas?"
Student-" The question, sir, has often
been asked, but never, so far as l am
aware, satisfactorily answered. I have
always been of the opinion that Atlas
L IL ,,h "a nl
his support from q rich father. ."-Boston
Transcript.
A GIRL who recently committed some
small indiscretion was reproveu by her
master, who happened to be q minister.
"You will not, he said, OCCUPY very
high place in heaven, Ellen, II you con-
tinue in your present course" SWELL,
thin, your reverence" was the reply,
81 never was at all pushing that way,
and if could only jist squeeze in through
the gates widdout disturbing st. Pather
to open thin I'd be contint. ."-Boston
Courier.
THE SHARES ALFABET.
NJ is o mining com-ps-ny-
It has cer-tif-i-cates,
And shares and directors.
Where is the minef.
do not know.
Has il treasury?
40 yes there Is = treasury.
NJ ia the mine
N T is tie mine-treasury.-QH'r
~ would vote for an OK ii he we're the
nominee Of my party" recalls to the
New York Tribune the story Of the
Frenchman who, by way Of giapg ex-
precision to his love Of nature, exclaimed:
"Oh, madame, like no COWS. ne horse,
ne sheep and anything else that is beast
~"
AND now the soft, sweet, balmy days
come floating along, showering roses in
the fields and making the birds sing on
the budding boughs Of the orchards:
The brooke are beginning TO purl, and
the stage-driver il laying aside his army
oyercoat and getting his straw hat in
condition. The farmer ID raising lettuce,
and the hotel man is raising his rates.
The woodmsn u cutting down the maple,
the old lady 70 cutting down the paternal
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