davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05
WHAT VOLCANOES ARE NOT.

"What is volcano ?" This is familiar
which, Catechisms of universal knowl-
edge" and similar school manuals have
taught us to reply to in some such terms as
the following "a volcano is O burning
mountain, from the summit of which issue
smoke and flames" This description, says
Professor Judd, is not merely incomplete
and inadequate as whole, but each individ-
ual proposition of which it is made up is
grossly inadequate, and, what is worse, per-
versely misleading. In the first place, the
action which takes place at volcanoes is not
burning" or combustion and bears, in
deed, no relation whatever to that well
known process. Nor ara volcanoes necessa-
rily mountains nc all; essentially, they
are just the reyuil,e-namely, holes in the
eartl's crust, OF outer portion, by means of
which communication is kept up between
the surface and interior of our globe. When
mountains do exist at centres of volcanic
activity, they are simply the heaps of mate
rails thrown ont of these holes, and mnst
therefore be regarded not rs the causes but
as the consequences of volcanic action.
Neither does the action always take place
at the "summit" of volcanic mountains
when such exist, for eruptions occur quite
as frequently on their sides or their base,
That, too, which popular fancy regards as
"smoke is really condensing steam or wa
terry yapor, and the supposed raging
flames are nothing more than the glow
ing light of q mass of molten material re-
hected from these yapor-clouds. The name
volcano has been borrowed from the noun
tain Vulcano, in the Lipari Islands, where
the ancients believed that Hephetus, or
Vulcan, had his forge. Volcanic phenom-
ena have been at all times regarded with
superstitious awe, which has resulted in the
generation of such myths as the one Just
mentioned, or of that in which Etna was
said to have been formed by the mountains
under which an angry god had buried the
rebellious Typhon. These stories changed
their form, but not their essence, under
Christian dispensation and Vulcano be-
came regarded as the place of punishment
Of the Arian Emperor Theodosius, and Etna
as that of Anne Boleyn, who had sinned by
perverting the faith of King Henry VIII
Popular Science Monthly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05
BAD BARGAINS.
How Several Indians Undertook TO saw n
Pile of Wood.


A correspondent writing from Carson City,
New. says An Indian will work half
day for half dollar, but he will not work
oil day for dollar; what use would his mon
ey be to him if he could not go and get upa
little game with it? Money must be earned
for whiskey and gambling, food can be beg
ged. "Bseuit and cmney,n rs they call all
kinds of bread and meat, they can get at
the door of almost my kitchen, but for the
absolute necessities of life, even the noble
red man must stoop to labor. Though
bright in many respects, their dense minds
never seem to compass the fact that
half job is worth half the money. Here is
I'M illustration "A gentleman bought
quantity of cordwood, and on leaving the
house for the day, told his wife to look out
for an Indian to saw it, She sat down with
her work at the window and presently
JIM came along, walked around the pile,
looked undecided, glanced over toward the
plaza where several games of poker and en-
sino were in full blost, and at last came tow
ard the window and opened negotiations.
"White Mahala like Injun saw wood2
Good saw wood heap honest niun.'
"All right, Jim how mich 7"
Jim, slowly and thoughtfully, 1.-Two dol
larn
The bargain being concluded the nipple
ments were brought forth and Jim went
manfully to work After about two hours
he began to show signs of WEAKNESS and to
cast ftntiye chances at the window
He sawed few more sticks, and watching
the chance when his employer had left the
window he decamped and that was the last
Of him In about half an hour another
came and offered to do the remainder of the
work for two dollar half" He was im-
mediately engaged and set to work in earn
est. After two honrs' work it became evil
dent that he too had miscalculnted the
amount of labor required and had grown
weary of his bargain, and few minutes H.
ter he had stolen away. The first one TO
call next morning said he was willing to do
the remainder for SO, but it ended in the
same way. The next one thought he could
do il for q dollar if he got some biscuit
and carney" first, but he soon wearied of the
task, and his successor said he would finish
II for like sum- As the pile Ind dwindled
to reasonable proportions through repeated
onslaughts, jim managed to finish, and re-
ceiving his dollar, hastily wended his way
toward the Plaza"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05
MISCELLANY.
THE PRICE OF LOVER.

A somewhat celebrated case, from the
trial in the Circuit Court 1t is that of Ber-
tina j. Smell, nee Hunter, vs. j. NJ. Bray,
which was sent over from Winnebago coun-
ty. The facts are about as follows; Years
ago in his unregenerate days, Matt Bray,
now senior partner of the wealthy and influ-
ential lumber firm of Bray & Ghoate, be-
came acquainted with Bertha Hunter then
voluptuous-looking servant girl in the en-
ploy of Leander Choate The acquaintance
ripened into familiarity and the familiarity
into love- This ardent affection continued
for long series of years, until, as Brays
friends assert, he harvested his Wild oats and
concluded TO settle down in life. Shortly
after he married, and laid the foundation of a
peaceful and happy home. Subsequently
Bertha Hunter welded and everything seem
ed serene until the old fame presented
claim for So, 900, nm amount alleged to have
been offered her for releasing Bray from his
promise of marriage aud to be paid whenev-
err she was joined in the holy bonds. Mrs
Smell, who was placed upon the witness
stand this afternoon, testified that court
ship continued for several years between her
self and Mr.. Bray that early in the '70S he
proposed to her and she accepted; that he
continued his attentions, taking her out ri
ding, escorting her to parties, balls and thea
tres, and on divers occasions manifested his
love. This blssful state of things continu-
ed until along in 1874, when MATHS alfec-
tons began to wane First he asked her to
burn his billet-doux, and said he would re-
ciprocate the favor. She did so, destroying
some seventy letters. Then he made grave
business proposition, asking her what would
be an adequate inducement for her to release
him from his marriage VOWS. After due re-
Election she concluded 81, 200 would be suf-
ficient. Bray, she says, thereupon entered
her home and drewup note for the amount,
payable when she was married. This was
filed away, but the confagration which swept
over Inflated Oshkosh in 1876 destroyed it,
Mr.. Bray thereupon refused to recognize it,
and Mrs. Smell accordingly resorted to the
courts to force payment. -HudsOn Vs.
Dispatch to tile Chicago Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05
POETRY.
WITHIN.


For-seeking DER the ocean things Immortal,
A traveller stood beside
The MINISTER, with itscaryed and moulded portal,
But on the outer side
The dun gray panes which filled the pointed case.
ment
Chilled to his aching heart;
No rich-hued rays from clere-story or basement
Spoke the glass stainers art.
One step, In answer TO the soft Inviting
or portal opened wide,--
Ten million tints their rainbow hues were writ.
ing
On the soft gloom inside
Thus stand we oft outside the vast arcana
OF Nature, Science, Art,
Nor guess the brilliant crozier, lamb and banner
Blazed on the inward part,
Thus stand we at the threshold OF Loves temple,
Chilled with a thousand fears,
Nor enter IN the love-lighted warm and ample
Which waits to dry our tears.
Go in, go in the ever-walting portals
Ye've stood so long beside;
The nre that changes statues to immortal
Burns on the inner side.
For Heaven, where, IL true Sacred Story,
Pure souls alone may bide,
Never reveals to them Its weight OF glory
Until they get inside.
New York observer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05

PosrsnsrnEss UNKSowS.--A subscriber
asks if female in charge of post Office is
not postmistress. No; under the law she
is postmaster" The law knows no such
Office as postmistress. ~ Baltimore Amer
lean,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05
THE CHiLDREN'S DRIVE.

THE CHiLDREN'S DRIVE.
Three little children at grandpa's-Archie, Kitty,
and May
After q summer of sunshine have the last frolic
to-day.
High In the old farm wagon-never was carriage
so grand
Three little children ready for drive TO fairy
land.
The ponies are OF in the pasture and the black
horse stands In the stall,
But make-beiieve steeds are harnessed, and there
at the chidrens call,
They'll race over the hill and valley, they'll dash
through village and town,
And surely they'll find the fairies before tho sun
goes down.
They are going home to-morrow-this frolic viii
be the last.
SO trot away bravely, horses-no danger of going
too fast.
Aloft in the old farm wagon, dimpled and freekl-
ed, and tanned,
Hurrah for the dear little children, driving to
. fairy land Chicago Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05

A Coon LITTLE Boz Give little boy h
small cart to play with, and he win immedi-
ately harness his little sister and make her
haul him. lie win grow up to be great
and good man, and become philanthropist.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05

A kross word IL little thing, but it IL
what stirs up the elephant. Josh Billings.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05

". II. HERR,
COunceHI0r-at- aW.
S1LI6TT0R IND MASTER IN 0IKANeERF
AND, NOTARY PUBLIC.
Legal business attended to in all parts of the
Slate. Special attention given to collections.
nz- ONCE, Cor. Union and Coryeii streets, i-ans-
sertVille, Nj. Entrance on Union street.
April. u. 1850.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-04-05
The Lanlbea.tville Record I:
PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY.
aH- TERMS, $2.GO PER YEA II.
CLARK PERSON,
EITO II AND PUBLISHER.

| Square (about Il inches), time, 55
q !" f" q 3 times, I.25
A diminished ratio for large advertisements and
for those RAINING for long periods.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
History of the English People.

Green's justly celebrated Larger
History of the English People ought
certainly now to find a place in every
home. The Elzevir edition, i'll five han
dy and tasteful volumes, cloth binding,
all for $3.50, (by mail $l.80,) is GER
taiuly a specimen of book making that
will delight the eye of those who rejoice
in beautiful books, and is hardly less
than a marvel in economy of cost. But
the Model Octave edition, in M vol
ume, utility binding, caps the climax
for cheapuess-only 50 cents, or by mail
IS cents! These editions are being
published by the Useful knowledge
Publishing Co., 1862 William ST., New
York, and are examples of the quality
and prices Of numerous standard works
which they are publishing. At these
prices they sell only to buyers direct,
discounts to dealers and agents being
impossible, and the editions published
are limited to the orders which reach
them promptly. Catalogues and speci-
men pages are sem free on request.
Specimens of several of their publica-
tons can he seen at the Office of this
paper, and to accommodate our subscli-
bers we will forward their orders for
any they may wish to purchase.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
MOT a Friend in Town.

Just as a new preacher was ascend
ing tho pulpit, a steward pulled his
coal and said Look ont brother,
there comes in Col. Busthead, the prin-
cipal saloon man ia town. He pays
more to the church fund than any enc
else. Be careful what you say and
don't abuse the liquor business"
The minister said he'd try aud not
be too hard on them, and started up.
when the deacon jerked him back and
remarked
"You see that man coming in with a
red face? Well that's Gen. Swiggwell.
He drinks pretty hard but pays more
pew rent than any ma in town. The
church couldn't get along without him.
Now don't come down too hard on
drunkards.
I'm try to hit him lightly. But, my
dear sir, what will ! preach against,
without making somebody mad.n
.Give the legislature and the pro-
hibitionists fits. They havn't got a
friend In town. Pitch into them.n
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

Why DoN'T FARMERS SUccEED.-An
exchange gives the following twenty
reasons why farmers do not succeed in
the South:
They read and think too little.
They raise nothing but cotton.
They buy their meat and bread.
They have no confidence in any one.
They think dogs more valuable than
sheep.
They give too much attention to pol
itics.
They do not use the best improved
machinery.
They buy upon credit and mortgage
their farms.
They content themselves in doing as
" daddy . did.
They fence their stock out instead
Of fencing them ia.
They think n COW. sheep or hog,
S. good as another.
They plant no fruit, but few vegeta-
bles, and have no winter gardens.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
Newspaper Laws and Regulaa
fsOMS.

I. Subscribers who do not give express no.
tlce to the contrary are considered wishing to
continue their subscriptions.
2. If subscribers order the disc~ontinuance
of their periodicals, the publisher may CONT
nue to send them until all arrearages are paid.
8. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take
their periodicals from the office to which they
are directed, they are held responsible until
they have settled their bills and ordered them
discontinued.
A.. If subscribers move to another place
without informing the publishers and the pa
pers are sent to the former direction. they are
held responsible.
S. The courts nave decided that .trefusing
to take the periodicals from the office, or re
moving and leaving them uncalled for, is pri-
ma facie evidence of intentional fraud.'
6. Any person who receives a newspaper
and makes use of it, whether he has, ordered
it or not, is held in law to be a subscriber.
4. If subscribers pay in advance, they are
bound to give notice TO the publisher at the
end of their time, if they do not wish TO CON
tinue taking it otherwise the publisher is
authorized to Continue sending it on, ard the
subscribers will be responsible until an ex-
press notice, with payment of all arrears, is
sent to the publisher.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

Speaking of the increased receipts
sales Of whisky, beer and tobacco
~ Baltimore, as shown by the report
of the Collector Of Internal Revenue
for the month of April, the american
says From this il will be seen that,
while almosb every branch Of trade has
been steadily declining and while the
outlook fora good spring trade through
out the country il anything but reas-
surfing. the receipts of taxes on these
articles are greater than ever. Here
y an excellent Illustration for the polk,
cal economist
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
Domestic Life i'm Texas.
k[Texas Strings.

It wasn't thati'' exclaimed Mr..
Sanders, Indignantly. You see, /
didn't say q word ct all.n
Hew'd she find out, then ~ asked
ID BIZ the party.
Why, | went home, and she asked
If it was me. / told her it was. Took
the chances on that, you knew. Then
she asked me if I'D been drinking. /
told her no. And there / stopped.
Never said another word"
" But you say she caught on some
where. How was ii ~
Just . blunder | made. When /
told her / hadn't drank anything she
was satisfied but when I come To get to
bed / put on my overcoat instead Of my
night shirt. That excited suspicion"
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

A recent German work gives the
following return of the population
of the world, counting by millions !:
Europe 3l5,000,0 00, Asia 1000, 900,
Africa 205, 1000, 900, America So 900, 900,
Australia and Polynesias5 ,0O0, COO, Pc
lar regions, under 100000; total
LASS, 000, 900 being IN increase of over
5000, 900 upon the latest census.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
Z e QUICK.

Order at once, that you may be able to order
;ntalIigently, from these examples, the nu-
.ne-olIs other Standard books III every depart
ment OF literature and knowledge which
will follow rapidly, a9dt..o editions OF which, az
the before unheard-of low prices, are necessari,
l. limited to the orders which are received
promptly.
Rim Van Wrinkle, etc. BY Washington
irving. Price. Utility Edition, 10 cents;
EIzevif Eiit!Na, Cloth, 20 cents Half Rus
SID, 80 conts; Red-Liae Edition, Gilt Edges,
35 cents by mil, 5 cents extra.
EEacaulay's life Of Frederick b Great.
Price, Utility, 10 cents Elzevir, Cloth, 20
cents; Half kussia, 80 cents; by mail, D
cents extra.
shakespeare's Hamlet. Price, Utility 10
cents; Elzeair, Cloth, 80 cents; Half Rus
sia, so cents by mail, 8 cents extra.
Green's Larger History of the English
People. Harpar's Price, SOD In five vol
umes. Price, Utility. Is cents; Elzevir,
Cloth, SO cents; Half Russia, 40 cents per
vol by mail, z cents extra.
Model Octave Edition of Green History.
Ii one volume. Price, Utility, so cents;
Cloth, So cents; Half Russia, 80 cents; by
mai, II cs2ts extra.
CycIecedias OF History, Science, Poetry,
Choice Prose. Biography, Religious Litera-
tuTe, Worlds Index of knowledge, Manifold
Dictionary of Language, etc. specimen
pages and catalogue sent on receipt OF
postal card.
No Agents or booksellers handle our books;
no discounts p~cssible1 one price to all
Q. Q. D.-Priyilege TO Examine. Orders,
With business refer ences, over SIS, filled by
express TO any part of the United States, and
examination allowed before payment.
Library of Universal Knowledge at re-
dI4ad prices: also publications of Late Ameri-
can BaGFz Excbange. Address
The Useful knowledge Publishing Co.,
1862 William ST., New York.
.Eo:,n p. Alden, Business Agent.
Specimens of the above works can be
seen at the COURIER office, and we will
ordersf for any of them that may
be left with us. Order promptly.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
Good Night.
By p N. BROWN.

Good night-the little lips touch ours,
The little arms enfold us;
And oh, that through coming years,
They might forever hold us.
Good night, we answer back, and smile,
s And kiss the dropping eyes;
LBut in our trembling hearts theswhile,
8 The wistful queries rise.
Who, in the weary years to come,
When we are hid from sight,
Win clasp these little hands and kiss
These little lips Good NightT
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

A party of Journalists were recently
carried over the West Jersey Railroad
from Philadelphia to Cape May. a dis
tance Of 8I8 miles il s33bs minutes. 4
number Of the miles were covered in so
seconds. The train consisted Of d loco
motive and three cars.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
Am Editors Onfnfora

An editorial friend of ours, who has grown
enthusiastic over q certain remedy which has
cured him of dyspepsia, general debility and
nervousness, writes an editorial as follows
q We believe that Browns Iron BitSers is des-
tined % be THE medicine Of the world. They
give real health aud strength to every part OF
ganic functions and give new life and new
vigort To every physical and mental faenltv.z
Every man and woman III iIl-health should "a
joice that a real cure lies IN Brown Iron Bit
terss-Exs
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

Eads' Tehuantepec ship canal will
be $50 miles long, aud he expects to
have it completed in three years. Mex
leo grants him a12, 500 per mile subsi-
dy. Our government ought to be as
Observation-Disclosures.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

CLUBBING.-We will club our paper
with the New Orleans Times Democrat
on the same terms as we did last year
with the Democrat, viz. $3.50 per
annum for the two papers. Send in
your subscriptions without delay.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

Jury said a western judge, lyon
kin go put and find a verdict. If you
cannot find one of You own, get the
one the last jury used" The jury re-
turned with the verdict of Suicide in
the ninth degree
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
THE
UPRIGHT PIANOS.

In this particular, are made with a thick iron
plate drilled to receive wooden bushings nj
which the tuning pins are placed; thus the
iron pins are held directly in the tuning plate
and cannot move by any change in the wood
work.
through a strong brass agrafffe screwed Into
the iron plate, thence across the sounding
board bridge, and is fastened to a pin at the
other end of the iron plate, thus producing the
MOST SOLID and STRONGEST PIANO
EVER MADE.
finish, the Mathushek Upright cannot be ex-
celled, and is now rapidly coming into use,
and its popularity constantly increases. We
will be very much obliged If you will call and
examine these pianos. We also take old pianos
in exchange at fair value.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
o. JESSE JAMES IS DEAD an

- Es9S ID DEAD -~
AGENTS For the. Illustrated Lives
and Adventures of Frank
WANTED and Jesse James and the
Younger Brothers, the noted Western Out
laws-By Hon. j. A. Dacus, Phi. D. A. true
and thrilling account of their bold operations
for 90 years, in as many States and Territories,
St. Joseph. Profusely illustrated, including en-
cravings of the Outlaw lessee James, before
and after death, his young wife and little chill
dren, the detectives Fords, the house of the
last struggle, and SO others, engraved from
actual photographs.
Agents Wamfed2 Send for full particu-
lars and be convinced that this is the most
salable and profitable book published; or, to
save time, send so cts, at once for Canyassing
Book and state your choice of townships.
Address N. ID. THOMPSON & CO.
Pubs, st. Louis, Mo.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
OPELOUsAs TIN SHOP.

NKTM. LIGHTLEY announces to our citi-
w zels that. he has returned to Opelousas
to stay. Shop next door to Young & Co.'S
drugstore, opposite L.. Pucheu's. Main street.
He is prepared to do all job work, guttering
and repairing at short notice and III a work
manlike manner. Prices moderate.
Onelnusas. Eel. 25. 1882.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

Renaoucd to Bellevue Street, betoeem Mrs. Lao
and Geo. ". Moriarty's Shops.
SHAVING, Hair-Cutting, Dyeing, Shan
- pooling, &C., done in the latest styles.
Prices moderate: satisfaction guaranteed.
q Hair-cutting by machinery.
E.A BODEMULLER.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13

During the past five years makers Of Piano
Fortes have been making great efforts to pro-
duce an Upright which will stand our severe
climate. They have used several devices, and
have even tried (but have given it upl double
iron plates. They have made their cases
strong with immense bookings of wood, and
still most of the Upright Pianos have not
proved satisfactory for this reason: That the
Tuning Pins in all of them are placed into a
wooden plank which is wedged up to the iron
plate, and which, at every change of weather,
will shrink or swell, thus causing the piano to
get out of order and out of'tune.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
"a. GUARD OF TIE
SssG GST . SE ga

"If unsuccessful revolution is only rebellion,
then what is successful rebeiion!'-For Pop
ri,
Tine following standard books, wanted in
every hGn6e, arc published IS examples of what
the Literary Rebellion proposes TO give the
sensible Millions OF tls American people.
The cheaper editions, combining economy,
beanty and utility, far srrpass the famous
low prices Of tie Literary Revolution, or any
thing the woEia vas before seen in looks.
The finer editi2fTa are unique and exquisite
way into the homes OF ordinary mortals, and SO
low in cost that a,y one can afford thems
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
Grateful TO EnvaTidS.

Floreston Cologne is grateful to invalids,
because it is refreshing without the sickening
effect of most perfumes.
The Opelousas courier., 1882-05-13
CRAS. FgZEE.LaER.

TVHE well known teacher, informs the pub
L lie that he will teach school, at his resi-
dence, every evening from 5 to Z o'clock. The
following branches will be taught mathemat-
ing, and French and American law. Terms
50 per month in advance. ~ Wanted-a sit
nation as book-keeper. Good references will
be given. Opelousas, Jan %, 1882. 3m