Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-11-04
SATURDAY SMILES.

1t is said that all children for some time after
birth are completely deaf. And the little things.
reasoning from analogy, think every body else
deaf; which accounts for their screaming SO un-
merclfully loud.-Boston Transcript.
lady was lamenting not long since the
death of a young professional man who had
never entered into the bonds of matrimony
and she concluded her remarks in this way:
Eyes, poor fellow, he is dead, and only nine
teen young ladies claimed m."-BOst0n
Courier.
A young husband. DESTROYS of provoking a
chance to pay a compliment to his young wife
and Of receiving an assurance Of affection. says.
with an aspect of surprise: '.My dear. heard
very remarkable thing to-day. Whatshisname
told me that he had been looking into the mat
ter very closely and had discovered that there
was only one married woman in this street who
wasn't f1irt, and really loved her dear hubby
better than any either man in the world" The
wife, after mature reflection: IL wonder, now,
who it can be? thought knew everybody on
the street."
Speaking Of William Penn, 1t would have
been great disappointment to the Philadel-
phans II ne had entered that city two hundred
years ago by way Of the Pennsylvania railroad
instead OF coming up the river in a boat. All
the display on the river front would have been
spoiled. This shows what q thoughtful man
Penn was.-No,7isto,on Herald.
1t was the contractor, who lost money on the
job that builded better than he knew.Boston
Transcript.
Con. by wandering BritOn: What is the diff
ference between the City Fathers and the front
benches at a burlesque show? One is a board
OF haldermen, the other is q horde OF balder
men.
Somebody has discovered that the correct pro-
nuncation of the word Khediye is "Kedowa."
They might as well tell us that the proper way
to pronounce beehive is Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
Professor Parkhurst says good view of the
comet may be had from the roof of an ordinary
three-stOry house. This is disappointing to the
man who lives In five-story residence.-Nor-
ristO,on Herald
Hartford dressmaker sends home dresses
when they are promised finishes them as neatly
as tailOr-made costumes, and. sends all the
pieces that are left. She should consult ply
siclan at once The good die yonng.-Philadel-
faaid Netos.
Hndoo girl who isn't married before she
reaches the age of II Is called an old maid, and
1t seems horrible to teach girls to lie about their
age so young.-Boston Post.
Fashion now DEGREES that bridal tour need
not last over three days. Most any sort of
couple can remain within doors that long.-De-
fr0n Free Press
Hard on Isaac: Father-'sIsaac, you are
good to-day You may carry up some wood, but
II you are naughty You mast carry It up
Fliegeade Bldter.
to get divorce; my wife drinks too much"
Priest-"How can you say such a thing, you
NO are drunk every day." Peasant-.That's
just the reason. Some one In the family has
got to be sober."-FTiegende Batter
The difference: A young gilded Tor, as they
say now, nickel-plated) youth of New York or
dered pair OF pantal0ons Of his tailor and re-
turned them e. too tight. ssYou told me to
make them akin-tight, said the man s.Yes.v
said the youth, sbut can sit down IN ny skia