Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-05-21
A WOEFUL TALE.

| "A University Student Stricken WitIa the
PGngs of Remorse Unboso,ns Himself
He OonfesseS to Haring Carried a Fish
Horn to the Disc0niftMre of The Gentle,
Mild hammered President and Professors
"A Subject, Of COnsns5seratiOn-Ptty the
sorroacs of a Poor Young Man.
While the writer of the following article
was sitting in his office thinking sadly of the
state, he was aroused from his reverie by the
entrance of youth who by his haggard
| visage, tottering step, land blood-shot eyes
showed that he was a prey of sorrow, fear
and remorse. He staggered to a chair and
raising his wan countenance with its hunted
expression, related the following blood curd-
ling tale, which undoubtedly was true in
every particular, for it Is clearly evident that
| "thug,n.a villain" or "ruffaln' would not
hesitate at any of the terrible plans which he
exposed:
t'My dear SIR" he said, "I have endured as
| long as am able the terrible guilt of having
carried fish-horn. I have suffered as long
as human nature can endure it the awful
crime of beating dish-pan with pine stick.
I am craZed in mind and ruined III body from
the sleepless nights have passed in anguish
contemplating my abject depravlty in not low
| ing a nan who has made himself the idol of
the community by his slyness, Partially, de-
ceitfulness and cunning little ways. Now in
order to rid my soul of this dark cloud ]. come
| TO make a full confession of the awful plot
which has brought me to this condition.
by the sentiments felt by small
gang of about seventy-fve thugs whose
only redeeming qualities are good scholar
ship, upright action and true friendship for
all that is honorable and right, while they are
| filled with the pernicious faults of being out.
spoken and independent, of despising that
which is mean and small. even if the meanness
be in their college professors.
"This gang also possessed that most repre-
hensible spirit which hates toadyism, and are
ready to resist imposition, even while enjoy
ing the privilege ola free institution.
'sMoved by this sentiment a small band of the
most hardened and bloodthirsty wretches that
ever trodIyour streets met to organize plot,
which was one ofa seriesof similar plans for de-
stroying life and property. The place of meeting
was a dark and lonely garnet. The light
burned low, the dark scowls told of desperate
determination, while they in1amed their
minds by reading that fearfully revolutionary
article by Artemus Ward upon his visit to the
Shakers. After becoming sufficiently excited
by these fierce doctrines, the mystic crowd
| slowly found their way to the street and silent
ly stole down upon their prey. Our intention
was to arouse the whole population of
the east side, slaughter the professors,
drive the cattle into the river, blow up the
university and draw and quarter all who
should offer opposition. In accordance with
this plan they had armed with the most deadly
weapons which could be found. Look how
Won conspirator strides ahead! In his hand
there glitters something cold and sinister and
| threatening. See what desperate bearing he
has! AS he hurries along, the instrument of
4. t. how &c hnal
| approached, curious to note the new and
| wondrous weapon of destruction, and, horror
of horrors he carried in his hand
| the alldreaded fsh-horn. Another less
| fierce, but fully as determined bears weapon
| which for its fendish barbarity is only ex-
eeeded by the powerful horn; in his left hand
| he held this fearful scourge of the enemy,
this weapon destined to revolutionize the art
| of war, while in the other he held its accom-
! panying horror of the internal machine. l
drew near and was stunned to see that the
one was the deadly dishpan, the other a
startling pine stick.
"With these instruments this band of ruff
| fans or thugs was to surround the dwellings
| of the enemy, and like the host of Joshua
before the city of Jericho, they were to blow
| three times when the walls OF the build
| ings were to fall down in ruins.
Against this terrible band, armed in this
ferocious manner, the gentle professors came
forth with nothing but harmless revolver
and heavy cudgels. What uneven warfare.
While the student rufians could pour into
their ranks volley of fish-horn blasts, they
could only answer with the sweet tones and
harmless pellets of revolver and the gentle
patter of an oak club. But fierce as were
these aesperadoes they fed before the advance OF
righteousness, while the professors had
their nerves fearfully Jared, the vii
| lians' only suffered the punishment
of having one of their number
nearly killed by club and revolver, and others
severely hurt by flying projectiles. Oh, we
were evidently Villains, thugs and despera-
does,' aud regret deeply the shame Of my
blood-thirsty attempt"
| Having finished the youth breathed deep
| sigh, said he felt easier and departed.