The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-04-11
Seuse and eNo1se,tae.


The wealthy miser lives as poor man
here, but be must give account as rich
man in the day of judgment. ~
A New York man sold his wife to
ueighbor for a dollar. Some men seem
to take delight in swindling their neigh
bors. y g,.l-..,-..,
When fellow goes through dark
room with his arms outstretched feeling
for an open door be generally feels it
with bis nose.
Politics will be lively this year, al
two-thirds of the States will elect Gov
ernors, and every State in the Union will
chose Legislature in whole or in part.
You never hear OF defaulting editor,
never. OF course, there is verv little to
default, barring paste. but honesty comes
as naturally to an editor as drinking
water.
Several people we're drowned, but not
a single, barrel of whisky was lost by
the recent foods in Kentucky. This
seems to refute the theory that the moot
deeply loved are taken first. ,e,.
;"There y triumphanly exclaimed a
Deadwood editor, as bullet came
through the window and shattered the
inllstand, 81 knew, that new, Personal
column would be a success"
Full many an acme Of soreness deep
and keen, the wakings of a nights
carousal hear; full many man, who
with "the boys" hath .been. feels in the
morn his wife's hands in his hair.
"Dd you get that girls picture,
Brown? You. remember you said you
were bound to have it, swell, not ex.
ac'ly, "replied Brown; 81 asked her for
it, and she gave me her negative."r cas-
A young widow was asked why she
waa going to wed so soon after the death
of her first husband. "0h. Ia" said
she, 81 do it to prevent fret!ing myself
to death on account of dear Tom - E
New style OF Western joke: Suppose
there was man named lcular, and he
had dog. When they were together
they could not lie down because they
would have to remsin rpurp and Icular.
The family OF Senator Pendleton is
temporarily at Fortress Monroe The
one hotel there is .overcrowded with
hundreds OF Northern people, seeking
the invigorating effect of the sea breeze.
$ "Die Gotterdammerung. "iis the name
Of piece of music TO he produced a,
the great May musical festival at Gin
cinnati, and We will be gotterdammer-
upeed If we, don't 60 and hear what it
| is like.
Sundower. Lily and Zephyr are some
of The names Of the new styles of men 8
hats. The brlms of the two first are
turned up, and are not likely to be worn
by anybody who can raise the wind for
Zephyr.
What made the mule kick you r.
! they asked of the gentleman who had
been sent flying through the roofsof a
barn. And he answered ."Do you
think l was fool enough to GO back and
ask him." ~
| %
A new row of business houses at
Charlotte, Mich /, has been named Old
Maids Block by the owner, who is q
maiden of forty, and rather proud of
having made fortune for herself as q
milliner. -.rk t
A South Eod girl thanked man who
gave her his seat in street-car, and be
married her and proved. to be worth
100000 1--WE circulate this lie in the
hope of inducing the girls to be more
courteous) a.aiase j. 81
A Maine man who didn't care two
shakes of lambs tail about the news.
paper, rode fourteen miles through q
herce snow-storm to get a. copy ef q
weekly that spoke OF him as "promi.
nent citizen" 55a7 ea
A habv can put its rosy little toe in
its mouth more easily than its father can
but, when it comes to putting his whole
foot in it, the man of years and expert
ence can discount tht baby halt q hun.
dred and then run, out. Mo- t...,ss,
/, A bald-headed professor, teproving q
youth for the exercise ofahis fists, said;
"We 6ght with our heads at this 'col'
lege.' The youth reflected momeui
and then replied ."Ah, / see, and you
have butted all your hair of. ,.,.
Little f6ur-year-old wanted something
that his sister he'd. hut the sister was
resolute and wouldn't give it up. 81,
amt pretty 'nuff for you to keep" he
said mingling graceful compliment
with his own avarice in a superbly child
ish manner. ass.s aae ss1
1t is said that Joseph Cook was mad
because the Hindoos didn't understand
him That Joseph's lectures are toe
deep for the ordinary mind is sn Hin.
doobitable fact and it is difficult to IN
derstand what Hindoosed him to 60 te
that country. :
1t is said the ereason Senator Edmund'
declined TO 60 upon the bench was tina
he wished TO devote himself to his inva
lid daughter the coming summer. anG
this he could not do il he accepted th,
Judgeship, the circuit work being two
years behind.
A Puiladelphis boy ywas taken to {
symphony concert recently and on re
turning said he guessed those fiddler
must like their teacher, for, although b
was always threatening to rap them owe
the knuckles with his black ruler, be dit
,lnot hit them onco riEf' 90 ~ ft *-'''
i A Philadelphia man told a pc ostmaste
;, from rural village that his postoffic
' clerk was "no gentleman" and the post
3 master got as mad as hornet and cam
5 very near getting. himself arrested 70
e assault aud battery before he refeete
: that bis clerk was lady ya,i5s. /,
8 "a, Fritz has been hunting sup the ped
O gree of DR.. Tanner, the celebrated hur
8 CRY man, and finds be is of very ancier
r lineage. The forty-third verse of Char
9, Acts of Apostles, reads: "Apd
, came to pass that he tarried many day
with one Simon A. Tanner" sa f..
J. IAN unreasonable youth "Anythin
'r you see me do, you can do" said PiI
y grey TO his SON. Thank you, sir" r
N piled the young man; "but perhaps
of would like to do some OF the things vi
'ef flake such mighty good care / shant 9
oi you do" Pingfev thinks Of this al
in trembles every time he goes behind t
r. cupboard door to look into the botto
of that III, m hlpr,