The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-10-11
777- - y - . = -"
COMIC COMMENTS.

-Tribnlation to beau Patrick, dress
ing for q party" Bedad, now, and shan't
be able to git on these boots till I've worn
them o tonne or two. s--Anon.
"A distinction without difference: Ex-
tract from the bin Of fare Of suburban res
taurant-Beef a la mode, TO- beef in the
latest mode, IT,. From tte French.
-Numbskull She (encouragingly)-
Your step suits mine exactly He (nerv-
ously)--"So glad to hear you say so; I
Judy.
Progress of science Wanted, dis
tingnished and healthy-looking man to bo q
"cured patient in doctors waiting.room.
Address l. b. r., Post Restante French
4deertiseaaeat
Toilet art criticism First lady-"Dear
me, nevor saw Mrs. Potts look 80 pale"
Second lady--"Nor I, she's probably been
ont in the rain without an umbrella ~
Brooklyn Eagle.
Bitten: 81 tell you gentlemen that
dog o. mine is an intelligent critter.n "Pos-
sibly," muttered Fogg; "but you wouldn't
think it, judging from the company he
keeps. Boston Transcript
No exaggeration: Brown is very proud
of his argumentative powers. "Islways car
ry my pint" he says. Fogg thinks he has
seen Brown when he was carrying q good
deal more than that. Boston Transcript.
AT the crisis: There was a CLEAN of
triumph in the playwright's face, but IL was
only for few moments. The leading lady,
at the affecting crisis, had fallen too reck-
lessly into her lovers arms and knocked of
her wig. Brooklyn Eagle.
--Tonsorial item: The Scranton Repu6-
hcdn relates that as Wilkesbarre man took
his seat in the BARRIERS chair he asked the
barber If he had the Same razor he had two
days before. Being answered afiirmatively,
the patient man said: "Then give me
chloroform."
Loves young dream badly frost-bitten;
There's my hand!" he exclaimed in mo-
ment of courage and candor, and my
heart is in IT," She glanced at the empty
palm extended toward her and wickedly re-
Piled; "Just as supposed; you have no
heart. Anon.
--Sisterly affection. "Does the world
miss anyone ?" queried adisconsolate maiden
of some thirty-six summers and eight moons
over. 1.-THE world will be very likely to
Miss you," said her younger sister. .Af
for me, i shall be a Mrs before cherries
are ripe.n-Ne,o Haoess Register.
Thrilling adventure "Al," says Pic
quoiseau 81 had such shock the other
day. My phaeton was coming down the
Champs Elysees; cracki the horses runs
away, knocks against a lamp-post, the coach.
man is thrown to the ground, the shafts are
broken" And your" "Ohl me Luck.
ily wasn't in the carriage !"-From til.
French.
Interesting news item: Angus Nc
Donald, whose head was shot off his cap at
the battle of Waterloo--or whose cap was
shot of the battle at the head of Waterloo
or whose wrattle was shot off his Batcrloo at
the head of his cap--or whose cap--Well,
he's dead, anyhow, at the age of one hun
bred and six years. --Nor4stoen Herald.
Thorough: A gentleman about to leave
town for couple Of days lays his parting
injunctions upon his servant: " Joseph, !
shall be gone three days possibly four. II
my friend Jules calls. tell him shall certain
~ be back on Tuesday" Every well sir.
And if the gentleman doesn't call what shall
I tell him !"- From the French.
fluctuations of the truly good Clergy
man (who suddenly discovers that he has
he was anxious to Destroy" Hi, hackman,
I've made mistake!" Hickman (who has
palmed of bad quarter in change and is
hurriedly driving on)-aOh, sir; you'll find
II quite correct !n-N y. Post.