The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-09-14

An iron chess board, provided with
magnetic chessmen, is a Berlin novelty
The small magnets concealed in the
figures cause them to adhere TO the iron
board and retain their places in spite of
considerable shocks, such, for instance
as are received on shipboard or on rail.
road trains.
Philadelphia kills her superhuous
dogs, not by drowning them in cage
but by Introducing carbonic-oxide Gas
into an apartment which. after the dogs
have been driven into it. is made air.
tight. One hundred can be dispatched
in this manner at once, and their destL
is quick and painless.
An eminent Boston physician SAYS
that persons who use the telephones
constantly and are apt to apply the sane
ear to the instrument every time, soon.
er or later are sure to become deaf in
that ear from the effects. He recon-
mends that both ears be used alternate
ly, which will obviate the danger very
much.
An honest bourgeois is entertaining
his wife at dinner at a restaurant and
at the conclusion of the meal treats him.
self to cigar. lone frame" almost
screams the woman, looking at the box
''well Alfred, do hope you are enjoy
ing yourself" 'tMy dear" says the
husband majestically, nothing is too
good to be ordered when one invites
lady to dinner"
Another girl: ''Do you know, my
young friend, that it pains me to see
you cling to your cigarettes?" said q
philanthropist to a pallid young man
this morning. You will have angina
pectoris, as sure as you're born" al
ready engaged to ArabeIla Higgins, so
you see Angina has no attractions for
me- The philanthropist moved on.
A young man who had married
bad-tempered woman was one day pro
voked to correct her. The lady com
planned to her father, who. knowing her
character, followed the example of her
husband, and, boxing her ears, said:
There, now; go and tell the fellow that
I am even with him; he has beaten my
daughter and have boxed his wfes
ears.'
A stranger dropped in one morning
before breakfast at a Washington drug
store and called for bottle of congress
water. The intelligent clerk ducked De-
meath the counter and promptly pro
duced bottle of old Monongahela-
The customer tasted it, and then depOs-
iting his glass, remarked: DO you call
that congress water?'' That's il" an
swered the pill compounder, smiling
pleasantly. Every congressman who
comes in here drinks it.1
Said a singer to a farmer: Il would
like to engage board with you fors
month"; The husbandman looked at
him moment, then asked: ''What do
YOU do for Twin ?'' 20, l sing in
church choir in the city" You do, en-?
Well, YOU can't board with me-" why
notP'' gasped the wondering warbler.
cause" replied the soiltiller, 1.-THE last
fellow who boarded with me was sing
er, and he had such thunderin' bass
voice that every time he growled all the
milk in the cellar turned sour
A London lecturer on female attire
said recently: Dressed as women are
the less exercise they take the better for
health. In fact they are seldom fit 70
stand erect or walk block, but should
be rolled around or carried on palah-
quin. Not one woman in 10000 has
room INSIDE ner clOJneS IOr Inc Itso a.
fall of the ribs in breathing, and there
is not one in 10000 whose vital organs
are not displaced by external pressure
While this is so, the less exercise the
better"
Dates worth remembering: Gin cock
tails invented by Confucius, in Cochin
China, b. C. 800. ShampoOing intro
duced by Barbaresa, 1922. Quail on
toast first served by the Israelites, o.,
Free lunches introduced by Joseph INTO
Egypt, b. c.. 400. Bricks first worn III
the hat by Noah, b. c. zoo. Bicycles
frst used by Ixion, pol. tWeathef
prophecies invented by Ananias, b; =
BOO. Aprons first worn BY Eve. l. Cm
,ulation discovered by Harvey, I9fU'
led about by editors ever since: FHS'
treat moral show started by Noah d.