Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-02-27
ALL SORTS.

There is, after ALL only one bone of contention in
the world and that is the jaw-bone.
"Thats very bad cough of yours" said irritable
man to a lady in omnibus. 81 know it" she meek
ly replied "lm sorry for it, but it is the best I've got"
Poor woman She ought to take Hatch's Febrfuge
Mixture.
Never despise man who wears paper shirt 'front.'
He may have no mother to support him.
ALWAYS REFREsHING.-A delicious odor is impaired
by Floreston Cologne which is always refreshing no
matter how freely used
Some men never go to church for fear their shoes
may squeak as they walk down the aisles.
DebIlitated persons, and sufferers from wasting
diseases such as consumption, scrofula kidney afec-
tons, will be greatly benefited by using Browns Iron
Bitters.
81 feel for you deeply" said hungry man probing
about in his soup bowl for stray oyster
REGULATE THE SRcRETIoNs-In our endeavors to
preserve health it is of the utmost importance that
keep the secretory system in perfect condition. The
wel-known remedy Kidney-Wort, has specific action
the kidneys, liver and bowels. Use 1t instead of
dosing with vile bitters drastric pills. 1t is purely
vegetable, and is prompt but mild in action. 1t is
prepared both dry and liquid form and sold by drug
gists notwithstanding Eagle.
The reason that baggage man recently hurled
himself from fourth-story window was that he was
insane and thought he was a trunk
A WORD TO MorHERs.-Mothers should remember
it most important duty at this to look after
the health of their families and cleanse the malaria
and impurities from their systems, and that nothing
will tone up the stomach and liver regulate the bow
tloh ot1xac Dor lin
ger Tonic. advertised in our columns.-Post. See
other column.
"Lets Illustrate it," hicooughed political orator.
"Its beautiful You see old farmer comes to town
loaded with wheat, an he goes home loaded with
old rye"
Wstar's Balsam of Wild Cherry cures coughs, colds
bronchitis, whoopng cough, Group. influenza con-
sumption, and all diseases of the throat, lungs and
chest. so cents and 81 a bottle.
| method has been discovered recently by which
good walking-shoes be made from leather. This
will have tendency to relieve the great strain the
| pasteboard market.
| On THIRTY DAYS TRIAL.-We will send DIR. Dyes
Celebrated Electro-Voltaic Belts and other Electric
Appliances trial for thirty days to young and
older persons who afflicted with debility,
lost vitality etc. guaranteeing speedy relief and COM
! plete restoration of vigor and manhood. Also for
rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis, liver and kidney
difficulties, ruptures and many other diseases Illus
| trated pamphlet sent Free Address Voltac Belt Co.,
| Marshall, Mich.
The old gentleman is snoring the of the virtu-
Gus in his easy chair His youthful grandson rushes
to his mother. "Oh ma, grandpa is in the parlor-
sleeping right out loud
ELEGANCE AND PURITY.-Ladies who appreciate
elegance and purity are using Parkers Hair Balsam
1t is the best article sold for restoring gray hair to its
original color, beauty and lustre.
Water coolers are unknown in Cincinnati, but beer
coolers are selling like hot cakes.
"RoUeH ON RArs."-The thing desired found al
last. Ask druggists for Rough on Rats 1t clears
out rats, mice, reaches, flies. bed-bugs. 15c boxes
SKINNY MEN.-Wells' Health Remover. Absolute
for debility and weakness of the genera
tive functions 81 at druggists. Prepaid by express
$I.25. for S.. E. s. Wells, Jersey City, N. J.
"BUoHUPAIBA." New. quick, complete cure days
urinary Affections smarng, frequent difficult uri
nation. kidney diseases 81 at druggists. Prepaid BY
express Sl.25, for S. E. S. Wells Jersey City, N J
The Russians call their convicts "unfortunates'
They get right down to the facts that point any
way.
1t seems impossible that a remedy made of sucl
common. simple plants hops, buchu, mandrake
dandelon, etc.. should make so many and great cure
as Hop Bters do; but when old and young, rich an,
poor pastor and doctor, lawyer and editor all testf
to having been cured by them, you must bieve ant
try them yourself, and doubt no longer.
Mr.. Ragbag only drinks liquors when he has ha
ham for breakfast and he hasn't missed having han
for breakfast for seven years.
10 Ihat cot
and effective American distillation of witch haze
American pine, Canada fir, marigod and clover bios
son. called Sanfords Radical Cure for Catarrh fey
doses instantly relieve the violent sneezing
head cold. stop all watery discharges from the
and eyes, cure headache and nervousness and bans
all danger of fever. Complete treatment for ST.
Guiteau will lecture if he is not hanged. 1t is sal
say that public sentiment. will not let him escap
the gaows.
WoMAN's ADMINISTRATIONS and daughter
should feel alarmed when WEAKNESS constantly OF
[ presses them. If 1 am fretful from exhaustion
, vital powers and the color is fading from my fac
Parker's Ginger Tonic gives quick relief 1t builds N
up and drives away pain with wonderful certainty"
5 Buffalo lady.
The greatest out about mans playing poker is n,
to know the game.
Peruvian Syrup dyspepsia. general debi
t liver complaint, boils numors. chronic diarrhoe
nervous affections, female complaints and all disease
originating in a bad state of the blood.
Save old shoes. Rum can be made of 'eml
New Orleans girls bouquet base ball players.
i RESCUED FROM DEATH.-William J. Coughlin,
y Somerve Mass, says: "In the fall of 1876 l w
taken with bleeding of the lungs, followed by a
cough lost my appetite and flesh and was confn,
to my bed. In 1877 1 was admitted to the hospit;
The doctors said 1 had hole in myfnng as big as
half dollar At one time a report around that
dead. l gave up hope. but a friend told me
DIR. William Halls Balsam for the lungs. got b,
tie, when to my surprise, commenced to feel bett
l. and to-day feel better than for three years past.
o Il write this hoping every one afflicted with disc;
% ed lungs will take Dr. William Halls Balsam. and
Il convinced that consumption can be cured. can p,
lively say it has done more good than all the 9th
medicines have taken since my sickness" Sold
E.F DuttoD Barton, VI.