Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-04-25
UPPER MUD

UPPER MUD
There is p locality somewhere in West
Virginia known by the expressive name
at the head ofthis article, Upper Mud"
We are not prepared to give its exact
latitude and longitude, but infer that it
is q prominent point in the county OF
Lincoln, where, by reason Of its super
ior elevation, the mud is washed by the
rains, and has a cleaner and more aris-
tocratic appearance than the mud Of the
lower lands which receives the washinSs
from this Upper Mud" district.
clipper Mud has peculiaritieS of
population as we'll as in the quality OF
its soil. We infer that the population
is sparse. 1t is probable that when an
immigrant climbs into Upper MUD he
has to stay, or spoil his clothes in get
ting out. The mails are, therefore, not
regular, and indeed We do not find
either Upper Mud or lower mud
down in the list Of pOstofticeS.
1t is presumed, therefore, that its pop
ulation has very little communication
with the balance of the world. Its peO-
pie are peculiar. There are q great many
localities in the State where the mud
interferes with locOmOtion during the
greater part of the year. But we infer
that the position of Upper Mud is
such as to be mapproaehable and mae
cessible for twelve months in the year,
save to its own inhabitants the in
evitable newspaper reporter.
At any rate, a newspaper reporter
seems to have accomplished the feat Of
scaling the banks of Upper Mud ex-
ploring its territory, and, Of course, in
terviewing one of its residents. He
found among its inhabitants a man by
the name of Oracle" who seems not
TO have been misnamed, for he has an
original and profound philosophy which
crops out in the report of the interview.
He reached Mr.. Oracle'S residence at
night, having, We infer, been dragged
out of n bog by the neck and carried to
the mansion, where the lady Of the
house scrambled toward what seemed
to be q fireplace, stirred up light and
~reeealed TO him that the chimney had
fallen down into the bedroom
This was his introduction to the man.
sion Of Mr.. ORACLE, and when the re-
porter had sufficiently recovered HIM
self he began to ply the pumping pro-
cess to his host, from whom he learned
among other things-as reported by the
Lincoln CUppsr-"that there had never
been but one war since the beginning of
Time, and that the MethOdists had
caused that. He also explained some
dark places in philosophy; such as, how
the moon rules vegetatiOn-why 10
plant 'taters' in the dark of the moon
why to plant 'watermilliOns' in the light
mOOn-how the PHILOSOPHERS tell the
'clipses'-and a great many other things.
He is all and ALA religionist; believes in
ghosts and witchery, and declares that
the whole duty Of man is to keep as
many young ems on the place
as he can support. He
ignores education and blames school
teachers for all the forgery and mean
ness done by those whom they teach to
write, and informed the reporter
after finding out that he would
not be before "the jury" that he
had burned several school houses.
He has two girls named Louisa;
he sounds the "f' in one name
as an 81" and in the other Is an Sc"
He has another girl named Viola.
"Vr' named for girl he loved in his
youth, and ola" slightly varied from
"Oley," the name of the Colonel under
whom ne fought in the war. He says
after this world the "iron works" will
begin"
Upper Mud is new territory, and
populated by an original people. y
hint to the newspaper reporter is all that
is necessary to bring it into unusual
prominence, and we shall expect fur
Their and very rich revelations by
and-by.