Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-02-26
HUMOR.

A successful debater-The hornet al
ways carries his point.
How to make barrel of flour go great
way-Ship to Australia.
A sign of Indigestion "Gone to dinner;
be back in five minutes"
Some men are like the moon. They get
full once in about so often.
A reporter, in describing railway dis
aster, says: "This unlocked for accident
came upon the community unawares."
Jones says that he used to be proficient
in half dozen languages, but since he
was married he is not even master of his
own tongue.
A New York man recently sold his
wife to neighbor for a dollar. Some
men seem to take delight in swindling
their neighbors.
Because he was mashed to the last, and
Farragut was dashed to the mast. We
have forgotten the COMMUNICATION
Commercial Bulletin.
Many fast young man, when told that
his course Of life will shorten his days,
consoles himself with the thought that it
does any rate lengthen his nights.
Said she: II do wish l could read
French. There's an item in French in the
funny column Of the paper, and L know
there's something. improper in it,
Boston Post
"You are weak" said "a woman to her
son, who was demonstrating against her
marrying again. eyes, MOTHER he re-
piled, ~ am so weak that can't goa
stepfather."
Economy is wealth. A Philadelphia
lady who found a baby in basket ON her
doorstep took the infant to the station
house, but saved the basket to carry home
her marketing.
The story comes from Staten Island
that an old man of so died suddenly
while waiting for the hour of his we'd
ding. That was very narrow escape
for the old man.
Statistics show that women commit
suicide most frequently on Sunday. 1t is
On that day that the humiliation of hav-
ing to wear last seasons bonnet is most
keenly felt.-!SyrGcuse Herald.
''The bees are swarming, and there's no
end to them" said Farmer Jones, coming
into the house. His little boy George
came in a second afterwards and said
there was an end to one Of 'em, anyhow,
and it was red hot, too.
1t is all very well to admire pretty
girl in sealskin sacque, but when one
Of these charmingly attired and attractive
appearing demoiselles is heard to blurt
out, ooh, ma, amt them terra firma Orna-
ments lovely?'' our faith is shattered.
An exchange says ten plaques of a
newspaper office are bores, poets, cranks,
rats, cockroaches, typographical errors,
exchange fends, book canvassera, delin-
quent subscribers, and the man who al
ways knows how to run the paper better
than the editor himself.
Sunday school teacher about to COM
ment on ST. Paul's direction for conduct
of men and women during divine ser
vice)-"Now, do you know why women
do not take off their bonnets in church,
Small boy" Cos they amt got looking
glasses to put them on again by
How people do change to be sure. There
are the Pangreys for instance. Six months
ago, before they were married, when
Henry used to leave her house, Martha
would stand at the gate aud throw kisses
at him until he was out of sight. This
morning, when he left home, instead of
kiss, Martha threw fire shovel.
The eminent counsel had been speak
peal case concerning a boundary wall,
when, on gazing at the bench, he found
that all the judges were asleep. ~ shall
not continue my argument" said he,
with great dignity; 81 never plead, your
honors, while you sleep" "Continue,
brother" said the chief justice, benevo-
lently: ''though l am differently consti-
tuted and never sleep except when you
plead
The train had run into a snow drift,
and the engine was butting its head in
| vain against six-foot bank. "For once
the iron horse appears TO be beaten" re-
marked fat woman in seconded
carriage. ''You shouldn't call it an iron
horse" mildly reproved solemn-faced
man s'Why not?" asked the fat woman
in some surprise "Because it is block
tim softly murmured the solemn-faced
man, as he gazed out of the window and
look in his eye.
Terrible accident: The sentimental
young man of New Haven was much
distressed. Mother" said he, 81 will
confide in you. l love her, but she will
never look at me, am poor: Would
that / had barrels of bullion" and he
WTuuS HIS HdiiuS Ill uCSpdlI. hdNC
courage, my son, - responded the mother;
''she is a good and true girl. L am sure
she cares nothing for filthy lucre-''
'sThen am resolved. Twill lucre in the
| face. | will ''My sonl" shrieked
the woman. and she fell to the floor in
swoon. In moment. of recklessness he
had prematurely discharged the dreadful
pun. He should have been more careful
of concealed weapons.
And got the girl: A healthful moon
light evening is good for building houses.
No money is required, only talk. Two
young lovers discuss the future-after
they are married. They sit down with
their arms entwined around each other,
and say they will build as soon as they
are married and the season has advanced
little. They will have two story
house. with an attic. They will have
three story house, perhaps 1t shall have
this or that number of rooms. This
convenience or that convenience will
make it much more desirable than any
other house Hundreds of little points
are discussed. The season advances.
The season passes. No house built. The
other fellow builds the house.
Thrilling courtship: "Don't contra
dict me-" said the stern parent. "You
have been holding secret interviews with