davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

The census report makes the area of
the United States three millions square
miles, and our population is about six
teen persons to the square mile, or
"forty acres" to each "without the
mule"
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

The eulogies of the Porter Rifles are
threatening to break out again in our
city dailies. The Banner already has
them Save us from the affiiction
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

Guiteau's trial will end soon, if it
ever does, not, however. till the air is
often rent with lawyers logic.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

Gen. Dibrell exhonorates JEFF Davis
from the charge of not accounting for
the Confederate gold.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

A tramp case of smallpox was re.
ported at Chattanooga Tuesday.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

Smallpox is prevailing over large
districts in the United States.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14
LOST!

BY Won, vast amount Of fun and good
reading if you fail to subscribe for the
STANDARD Immediately. 81 a. year,
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14

STATE OF TENNESSEE, County Of Warren, IS;
is. j. Waliug, Jr., Cashier of the above
named bank, do solemnly swear that the
above statement is true to the best of my
knowledge and belief.
~. WALLING, JR., Cashier.
Subscribed and sworn to before me this
18th day of January, 1882.
c. COFFEE, Notary Public.
CoRRECT-Attest:
WIN. II. MAGNESs,
JESSE WALKING, : Directors,
y 0. NJ. THURMAN.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1882-01-14
Boots and Shoes !

HAVING removed to No. 8 WEST MAIN
Ill street, McMinnville for convenient and
more commodious quarters, am now pre-.
pared to make shoes and boots to order out
of the best stock and on most favorable
terms. make fashionable boots a specially
ana invite comparison of my work and
prices with any in this market.
REPAIRING
done to order with neatne ss and dispatch.
Call and examine my work and decide for
yourselves. 922 en-
John Terrell.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25

tened to explain. 81 didn't mean that.
The sun makes it warmer
"Then what makes it colder2n pur-
sued the remorseless man in the cor
ner.
The man in the thin clothes wiped
the beaded perspiration from his pal
lid brow, and said slowly he guessed
sit was the ice.n
"What iceg" demanded the inquisi-
tor.
"Why," the victim said, with all
symptoms of approaching dissolution
apparent in his tremulous voice; ''the
ice that was frozcn-frozen by the
FROST
''Did You ever see any ice that
wasn't frozcn?' howled the man in the
corner in burst of derision.
The man in thin clothes huskiIy
whispered that he wished he was dead,
and said: ''No; that is, he believed he
didn't"
"Then," thundered the man in the
corner, "what are You talking about?"
The man in thin clothes then made
an effort to brace up, and spicily re-
piled that he was trying to ''talll about
the weather."
"And what do you know about itg'
triumphantly rOared the man in the
corner. "What do you know about
the weatherPn
The man in the thin clothes lost his
grip again, and feebly said ''hc didn't
know very much about it, that was
fact" And then he tried to he cheer
full and work in a little joke about no
body being able to know much about
the weather, but the man in the corner
sat down on him with tremendous
outburst.
''No, sir | should say you didn't.
You come into this ear and force your
self on the attention of stranger, and
begin to talk to me about the weather.
just as though you owned it, and find
you don't know solitary thing about
the matter yourself selected for your
topic of.cOnversatiOn; you don't know
one thing about meteorological condi-
tions, principles, or phenomena; you
can't tell me why it is warm in August
and cold in December; You don't know
icicles form faster in the sunlight than
they do III the shade; you don't know
why the earth grows colder as it comes
near the sun; you can't tell why a man
/ van w SuuSbliiIh III lllC YOU
can't tell me how cyclone is formed
nor how the trade winds blow; you
couldn't find the calm centre of a storm
if your life depended on it; you don't
know what a siroccO is nor where the
southwest monsoon blows; YOU don't
know the average rainfall in the Unit
ed States for the past and current year;
you don't understand the formation of
fog, and you can't explain why the dew
falls at night and dries in the day; you
don't know why Il wind dries the
ground more quickly than hot sun;
you don't know one solitary thing
about the weather, and you are Just
like thousand and one other people
who always begin talking about the
weather because they don't know any
thing else, when, by the cave of Bore
as, sir, they know less about the
weather than they do about anything
else i'll the world ~
And the man i'll the corner glared up
and down at the timid passengers in
the South hill car, but no man burst
answer him. And as for the man in
thin clothes, he didn't know for the
life of him whether he had sunstroke
or an ague chill. He only knew that it
seemed about twenty-seven miles to
the Jefferson street crossing Bur
lingtOn Hawkeye.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
The Weather Fiend.

''Prctty warm,n the man with the
thin clothes said to the man in the cor
ner seat as the South hill car was COM
ing down the Division street steps.
whats pretty warmg" growled the
man in the corner.
"Why, the weather"
"What weather." more gruffiy than
ever.
"Why," the man with the thin
clothes said, looking as though he
wished he hadn't begun it, ''this
weather."
"Well," said the man in the corner,
elbows this weather any different from
any Other9"
The man in the thin clothes looked
nervously at the dumb mule and said,
ait was warmer"
GLOW do you know it ISL" asked the
man in the corner.
The other man began to wish he was
well out of it, and said he supposed il
was; he hadn't heard how the
"Isn't the weather the same every
whereF' savagely demanded the man
in the corner.
"Why, no." the man with the thin
clothes replied, wishing to goodness
he had newspaper to hide behind;
''nO, it's warmer in some places, and
in some places it's colder"
"What makes it warmer in some
places than it's colder in others2" re-
morselessly pursued the man in the
corner.
"Why," the man with thin clothes
said piteOusly, ''the sun, with the eff.
fects of the SUMS heat"
"Makes it colder in some places than
it's warmer in Others" roared the man
in the corner, Indignantly. "NevoI
heard of such thing"
NO." the man in thin clothes has
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
SquibS.

"DO You own this fence ?" savagely
inquired farmer of "A tramp who was
hanging over the structure. "No, |
don't own it," grinncd the nomad,
''but Eve got a lean on it,"
Visitor (endeavoring to impart infor-
nation to young mind): "The little
bird in the cage belongs to the finch
family, and" Three ycars-Old listen
er: ''NO it don't. 1t belongs to me-"
"Pa, are we going to have any girl
vanized iron on our new house ?" "Any
w-what ?" "Any galvanized iron :"
"Galvanized, you mean, don't you ?"
eyes, pa but teacher says we mustn't
say gal it's girl - Louisville Cou-
rier-Journal.
AS an illustration of how hot wealth
er develops politeness, the Philadel
phia Chronicle says: "On the shady
side of Eighth street yesterday, hun
dreds of men took off their hats when
the only female in sight was a hoop
skirt hanging in front Of Il store door"
An exchange propounds the comm
drums, why do girls kiss each other,
while boys do not Because girls have
nothing better to kiss, and the boys
have. What is the difference between
an editor and IA wife? One sets articles
to rights, and the other writes articles
to set.
"COnfound this maprn exclaimed
the geographical enthusiast. OTIS no
good. | can't find half the streams
mentioned in the river and harbor
bill" If you want Il comprehensive
| list of the watcr-courses of the country
you must search the Congressional
Record Lowell Citizen.
"You make mistake, sir. You set
too good table altogether. Now
what's the use of cucumbers and lIuck-
leberry pie right along for dozen
meals ?" 81 know it, sir, | know it,"
beamed the landlord. 81 give 'em all
the luxuries to wunst." "But, my dear
sir, think of the cramps ~ "Jess so,
jess so. But Pm bound to get my
guests into the bedrooms, if | do
cramp 'em sOme."- The Judge.
During a recent shower, a citizen
carrying very wet umbrella entered
IA hotel to pay a call to seme one up
stairs. After placing his umbrella
where it might drain he wrote upon a
piece of paper and pinned to it the
| StllbcHCty y. ID. 1 MS umbrella ne
longs to man who strikes $50 pound
blOw-back in fifteen minutes" lie
went his way up stairs, and after an
absence of fifteen minutes returned to
| find his umbrella gone, and in its place
"A note reading, "P. S. Umbrella taken
by man who walks ten miles an hour
won't be back at all Detroit Free
| Press.
~ understand, Uncle Amos, that
yOu have quit preaching" said the sec
retary of state to an old colored man
who for years has had charge of
church in Little Rock "Yes, boss,
Use stepped aside" "Why did you
quit n "Wall, dar was numerous
pressures brought to bar agin the old
man. Da charged me wild stcelin a
ham for one thing, and 'vised me ter
quit" "Why, they couldn't prove
that you stole the ham, could they ~
"No, sah, da couldn't, an eff | hadn't
'knOwledged it da neber would hab
prubed it," "Why did you acknowl-
edge it Pn "Case da found de ham un-
der my bed, sab. y Arkansaw Tray
eller
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
81. Johnsbury q Lake Champlain Railroad.
July I2, 1882.
st. Johnsbury Church Directory.

AdVent-PaddOck Village. sabbath Services at
1880 a. IN. las and $50 p. IN. Sabbath School IL
IN. Prayer Meetings at 1880 p. IN. Sunday, Tuesday
and Friday evenings.
Bdptist-Railroad Street. Corner Maple. Rev.
f. 4. Sandford, Pastor. Preaching 1880 =. NJ. 5.
School ~ N. Prayer meeting 6s3O. Prayer meet
ing Wednesday evening at 1880.
Free Bdphst-Main Street. Corner Prospect.
Rev. II. Lockhart Pastor. Sabbath services, 1890
A. NJ, and $50 Sabbath School at - NJ. Prayer
meeting Wednesday evening at 1880.
Church Of the MessiGh-( (UniversalistJ Eastern
avenue, corner Cherry street. Rev. Il. Nj. Tillot-
son, Pastor. Sabbath services at las P. NJ.
Sabbath School at IL N. Wednesday evening meet
ing at 1880
Methodist-Central street. Rev. L. W. Culver,
Pastor. Residence next TO the Church. Sab
bath services at 1890 A. NJ, and $50 ?. Sabbath
School at - N. Wednesday evening meeting at
7:30.
North OongregationdI-Main street. corner of
Church. Rev. Henry W. Jones, Pastor. Sabbath
services at 1880 A. M, and $50 p. M. Sabbath
School at las p. NJ. Wednesday evening meeting
at 1870
South Congregational-Mai street Rev Ed.
1890 A. NJ, and 6:30 2. NJ. Sabbath School IL NJ
Wednesday evening meeting at 1880.
PresbyteriGn Chureh-Rev W. X. Laird, pas
tor. Services at Presbyterian Hall, every Sab
bath at 1880 a. M, 800 p. sabbath school 300
Prayer meeting 6:3O Bible reading Wednesday
evening 1880
st. AndreWs-( (EpiscOpal,) Main street, Rev
F. $ Fisher, Rector. Services on Sundays al
1880 a. m, and p. m. Wednesdays at 1880 p. m
Sunday School, at 12 m.
Roman OathoEic-Cherry Street. Rev. j. A
BOissonnaut. Parish Priest. Mass and 10 a.
Nespers and BenedctiOn at p. On tn,
second Sunday of the month service at 5:3O a. IN.
and p. IN. At LyndOnville same day at 1890 a. nj
Y. II. O. A.-Meetings at the rooms of the Y NJ
c. A, Eastern Avenue, Sunday mornings at $50
Saturday evenings at 1880.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25

to match. or the more secluded and
private vehicle for two persons may be
had. Passing out of the hotel grounds
and along the head of the beach, the
town is entered. The buildings are
mostly of adobe and in the Spanish
style. The old government buildings,
and also Cotton hall, where the Califor-
nian constitutional convention met in
lS49, are pointed out. In crossing a
bridge beyond the town a wooden cross
is seen by the roadside. This marks
the landing place of the good Francis
can father, Junipero Sierra, who first
stepped foot upon these shores in l7SO,
and who did more than any individual
in outstanding and civilizing the In
dams of California. An old whaling
station and Il little collection of hutS
occupied by Chinese fishermen are
passed, and then the road reaches
across the moOrs, through woods and
along the beaches, far away from the
town. In one place are the pleasant
grounds of the Pacific grove retreat, a
camp-meeting place of the Martha's
vineyard and Ocean grove order. Moss
beach is one of the delightful stopping
places on the route. Here the Pacific
fringes its blue border with rows of the
whitest lace on wide-stretching
strand, the limit Of which are bold,
rocky headlands around which the
white spray dances and throws itself
aloft in showers. Along the sands
brilliant-cOlOred mOsses, bits of coral
and curious sea- weeds are seen. Here
and there the gorgeous alalone shells
glisten in the sun like mines of pearls
and diamonds. A little beyond the
beach are some black rocks in the sea.
the haunting place of thousands OF
seals and birds. Then we come to
Cypress point, one of the most weird
and picturesque places on the coast
where peculiar kind of cypress
found nowhere else hereabOuts, is
found in profusion. The trees Were
probably planted by the early priests
A little drive through the woods whicl
border the northern verge of Carmelc
bay brings one to Pebble beach, anoth-
er interesting place where visitors de
| light to search for the quaint products
of the sea. Pebbles of all shades anC
sizes are found. A mile beyond here
are the ruins of the old Mission church
but a detour of several miles must b,
made in order to drive thither. TIL,
homeward road is over the hills whicl
lie back of Monterey.
Monterey is made winter resort IA.
well as fashionable Watering place il
summer, and as such it is fast rivalins
the best-knOwn resorts in Florida
Now that railroad communication is 5,
admirable between the Atlantic an,
Pacific, what is to hinder our eastern
people from enjoying some of the com.
forts and luXuries hitherto monopo
lized by the CalifOrnians
| ATHENIAN.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
The New Geography.

How many farms are there in the
United States7 4,O06, ,907.
How many dwellings in city and
country? S,955,6I2.
Which state has the most farms, and
how manyP Illinois, with 255,74I.
What is the total number of farm
animals? 13O,972, ,673.
What do they comprise, and the
number of each7 Swine, AZ ,653,95I !;
shorn sheep, 35,19I $50; milch cows,
Il, ,443, ,952; working oxen, 993, $40;
other cattle, %, Ass, $50; horses, 10, ,357 :
95l; mules and asses, ,5I2 1872.
Which state has the largest number
of swine, and how manyg Iowa, with
6,034, BIG.
Which state has the largest number
of milch cows, and how many7 New
York, with ,437 ,S55.
Which state has the most sheep, and
how many? Ohio, with A 1902, ,456.
Which state has the most working
oxen, and how many9 Texas, with
90,6 COB.
Which state has the most "Other
CATTLE" and how many9 Texas, with
j, ,357 ,967.
Which state has the most horses,
and how manyP Illinois, with ,O23,
! 0o2.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
Judge Poland and Senator
Morrill,.

The Phenix Or. I.) Cleaner has the
following incident respecting our es-
teemed and eminent public men, which
we have never before seen in print:
In 1873 Judge Poland's friends gave
notice that he would run for Morrill's
place in the Senate, as the latter's seat
was to be filled by the Legislature which
was to meet in October. No special
effort was made until after the Septem-
Der election, when the members elect
of the legislature were canvassed by
Poland's friends. But the Senator put
in little work on his account, and the
result not being satisfactory to the
Judge he concluded not to let his name
go before the legislature. The cOnse-
quence was that Morrill, was reelected
for his third term by the unanimous
vote of his party.
An amusing story is told of the acci-
dental meeting of the two contestants
during the September campaign"
Morrill, was not so sure of the result
that he could afford to neglect the
''cheap arts of popularity" so about
the time of the state fair he went to
st. Adams, where it was held, and sud
denly developed an extraordinary in
terest in agriculture. At the imminent
risk of being kicked by horses, gored
by bulls and butted by rams, he went
through the stock yards and pens and
minutely examined the blOOded stock.
He approved in most complimentary
terms of the mechanical display. He
traversed the floral hall, and tasted of
the gilt-edged butter and of the maple
sugar and honey, and rejOiced at the
sight of the big pumpkins and squashes
and turnips, and potatoes, and cab
bages, and apples, and pears, etc, etc,
he strOked and kissed the crying and
sweltering babes, and even cast admir-
ing glances at the embroidered dream
dresses and other specimens of femi-
nine needle-wOrk ; and he finally drift
ed into the Judges stand to see the
agricultural horse trOts,n and viewed
with astOnishment the unsuccessful at
tempts of the judges to make an Isle
la Motto driver let his horse win first
money and get record. Mr.. Morrill,
made his headquarters at the WeldeI
| House, and on the evening of the sec
Ond day of the fair, Judge Poland also
registered at that well-knOwn hotel
He informed the clerk that he would
like to see Col. George A. Merrill, who
was the president of the state agricul.
tural society, and an influential politi
tician. The clerk called a bell-bOy
and ordered him to conduct the judg,
to Col. MerrilIs room. The bell-boy
mistaking Merrill for Morrill, ushered
Mr.. Poland into the senator's parlor
The two politicians glared at each 9th
er for an instant, and then shook hand,
cordially, and made some highly origi
nal remarks about the weather and tn,
success of the fair. Then both 'allow
ed' that they were tired, and the judg,
bowed himself out, and again sought
Col. Merrill's room, where he was NOR,
cordially received.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
PATENTS.
r.. H. E d ID Y ,

No 76 State Street, opposite Kilby Street Boston
Secures patents in the United States; also in
Great Britain, France and other foreign countries
Copies OF the claims of any Patent furnished by
remitting one dollar. Assignments recorded at
Washington. No agency IN the United States pos
superior facilities for obtaining Patents
dceTtGiHiig the Idtentd6hty Of inUentiOnS. K. Ii d.
EDDY, Solicitor of Patents.
TESTIMONI
Il regard Mr. Eddy one of the most successful
and capable practitioners with whom l have had
official intercourse. CHAS. MASON.
Commissioner of Patents.
Inventors cannot employ person more trust
worthy or more capable of securing for them an
early and favorable consideration at the Patent OF
fice."-EDMUND BURKE, late Commissioner OF
Patents"
Boston, October 10, 1876.
l.. II. EDDY, Esq.-DeaT Sir you procured foI
me, in lsiO, my first patent Since then you have
acted for and ad vised in hundreds of cases and
procured many patents reissues and extensions
have occasionally employed the best agencies in
New York, Philadelphia and Washington, but
still give yon almost the whole of my business, in
your line and advise others to employ you.
Yours truly, GEORGE DRAPER.
Boston. Jan. l. lss2-lv
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25

As fond mother when the day is DER,
Leads by the hand her little child to bed
Half-wiIling halfreluctant to be led
And leave his broken playthings on the floor,
Still gazing at them through the open door,
Nor wholly reassured and somforted
BY promises of others in their stead,
Which though more splendid may not please hin
more;
SO nature deals with us and takes away
Our playthings one by one, and by the hand
Leads US to rest gently that we go,
Scarce knowing if We wish to 90 or stay,
Being too full Of sleep to understand
How far the unknown transeends the what WI
know.
-fI.onpfellow
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
st. Johnsbury Post Office.

Commencing June &C. the mails will close at the
Post Office follows:
Passumpsic Il. X. Way Mail South Z 20 A..
No. Danville, $50
st. j. a L. C. r. r. Way Mail, East $50 a. IN.
Boston, n. Y. and Central VT. X. X. Mail,
New York Express, $50 a. IN.
st. j 4 l.. &. X. X. Way Mail, West, 2.3O y. IN.
Montpelier & w. River, X. X. Way Mail % p. IN.
Passumpsc X. X. Way Mail. North, 400 p. IN.
West Concord and st. Johnsbury East, 400 p. IN.
Waterford, w. Watfd and L. Watfd, 400 p. IN.
Boston, New York, Conn. X. Val. Mail, 800 p. IL.
Central Vermont X. K. Way Mail, 500 p. n.
Mail to 90 south on the New York Express, clos
ing at $50 a. m, must be brought to the Post
Office Collections will be made from the mail boxes
i'll season for the first mail south in the morning,
and at p. III. Collections will also be made from
the mail box at corner of Railroad Street and
Eastern Avenue at a. m. and 7.30 p.
CHAS. L. CARPENTER, I'd, z. NJ.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25

as vigorous as a boy. 1t is a common
thing for him to perform a full days
work cutting timber. The two daugh-
tiers who live with their mother in Cal
ifornia are children of the second wife.
The sons and Ruth Thompson are the
offspring of John Browns first wife,
whom the old man married i'll 1920 at
Hudson, o. 1t is noticeable fact
about the members of the Brown fami-
ly, that they are all well preserved,
and show promise of living to ripe old
aces
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25

RELIGIOUS CoLLEGEs.-The number
of Congregational colleges is 26, with
an endowment of "a, ,435, 900 Baptist
81, endowment S3,379, 900; Methodist
Episcopal 81, endowment s5,599, 900
Presbyterian, I3, endowment S2,O55,-
900. The Presbyterians lead all Other
denominations in the number of theo-
logical seminaries and richness of en-.
dowment, j., $40 900.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25

Oongregd6ondL-Rev. f. b. Phelps, Pastor.
Sunday services at 1O45 a. and $50 p. IN. Sab
bath school at 1900. Wednesday evening meeting
at $50
MethOdist-Rev. L. c. Dickinson, Pastor Sun
day services at l30 D. m.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
st. Johnsbury Athenaum.

Library and Reading -ROOm,-Free to all. Opel
from A. NJ. to II NJ; from to P. M and from
I to IL Saturday evenings.
Art Gallery-Open Tuesdays and Fridays.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
Telegraph Once

Western Union and Vt. Internationdl-in 81
JOhnsbury House. Open from a. m, to p. IL
Sundays, to 10 a. m, to 6 p. IN. Night message
at half rates.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
ST. cyOhnsburn (alrdonian.
G. NJ. STONE & CO,
PUBLISHERS.
ApvANcE TERMs oF LIZ cALEpoNIAN. !.

Opposite the Athena,um, St Johnsbury, VT
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-08-25
Monterey, Cal, and its Attrac-
tiOnS.

A PACIFIC COAST RESORT WHERE THERE
is NO HEAT IN SUMNER, OR COLD IN