The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1882-08-10
Minister vests Internal Machine.


Wash cor. Rochester IN. Y.) Sunday Herald.
Have you heard OF the "infernal machine"
received by the British Minister, which ere
ated such CONSERVATION In high quarters7
presume not, for every care is being taken to
keep the matter out Of tho papers. box was
received by Lord Lionel Sackville West, two
feet long by something over q foot In each OF
the other dimensions. One side Of 1t was
marked, "Handle with care;" on the other was
inscribed, "rhis side to be opened" This side
was fastened on with screws. The whole thing
wore very suspicious look. My Lord Lionel
sent for the magnates OF tho State Department,
and they agreed with him that 1t was a thing
10 be treated like ahigh.strung Congressman
very tenderly. Tho question arose how to
open It; for nobody doubted that when those
screws wero taken out tho lifting OF tho lid
an explosion that would lay the ministerial
residence in ruins, and kill whoever were In
range. There are no machine shops connected
with the State Department., 80 tho Navy De-
partment officials were taken Into the secret.
They sent spring wagon up. to my Lord
Lioneps mansion, and the fateful box, COW
cred with green baize cloth, was conveyed to
the Navy.yard by way OF back streets, where, IL
q jar should cause an explosion, tho loss of
life would be as light as possible. Arriving at
the Nayy.yard, the thing was taken TO the most
secluded docks and an apparatus rlgged to
open II, with tho least possible human prox-
Unity. OF course, to open 1t according TO d.
stead OF unscrewlng the lid they determined
to saw 1t in two through the middle.
saw was rugged at the end OF
the longest shaft to BIO found, and set at work
by complicated contrivance for converting
crank motion Into reciprocating motion, while
tho workmen operating and controlling 1t
sheltered themselves behind two thicknesses
of four.inch monitor iron.plating, through the
bolt holes In which they watched for tho an.
ticipated explosion. When 1t was plain that
one side was sawn through, the box was turned
one.fourth over and the next side sawed, and
80 till all four sides were severed. An attempt
to pull the ends OF the box apart longitudinally
showed some internal resistance and a careful
inspection gave glimpse Of wheels and some.
thing resembling clockwork, which rendered
assurance doubly sure that they were dealing
with an Internal machine-doubtless Fenian
implement for the destruction OF the British
nobility; 80 they rugged at tho end Of their
horizontal shaft an oval tool which, on partial
revolution, would widen the aperture made
by the saw, retired behind their barricade aud
crowded tho ends OF tho box apart. At last
not TO waste too much space upon details
they gained access to the interior OF tho mys-
representatives OF the majesty OF the State
Department looked at each other In a silly
way; then the workmen, one after another,
sat right down on the dock, by the side of
the "infernal machine" and laughed, and
laughed, and laughed-and are laughing yet.
A paper inside tho box explained that an Eng
lishman, having invented a harmless impie-
ment for some domestic purpose, desired his
country's representative here to arrange for
procuring o patent therefor In this country.
That was all. f