News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-12-14
LAUGHED OUT OF COURT.
Funny Editor Defends His Own Cause in Il
Libel suit.

At Erie, Pa, the editor of a German
humorous paper was sued for libel. On
the opening of the trial the defense was
astounded by the District Attorney
claiming an ancient right to ''stand
aside any juror called until the box was
filled with men acceptable to the Com
monwealth, the standing aside being in
dependent of the peremptory challenges,
and allowable to the extent of standing
aside the entire panel practically en-
aiding the Commonwealth to get a jury
of its own selection.
As the affair was between Germans and
the Young Mems Christian Association,
the former were fearful that they would
all be made stand aside and kept off the
jury.
On the second morning after the Judge
had ruled in favor of the 'Fstand aside
claim, Weiss, the defendant, convulsed
everybody by coming into court with an
armful of ancient legal literature, OBJ
tanned by ransacking every law library i'll
the city, and asserting right, under the
ruling of the court, to establish his innO-
cence by ordeal, or trial by combat. He
cOntended that if unrepealed ancient pro-
cedure is good law his claim to demand
the ''wagere of battel'' was as Just and
equitable as the ''stand aside" privilege.
Shrieks Of laughter followed the sad-faced
mans demand, irresistibly comical in it
self, but the more exquisite from the fact
that he is little, attenuated, weak chest
ed, asthmatic body, weighing only 90
pounds, while his adversary is a hercu-
lean fellow who tips the scale at 200
pounds, and before whom in q personal
| hn o14
away like the hoar frost under the morn
ing sun.
Weiss has carefully drawn up all his
rights under the unrepealed laws, and he
proposes to make this judicial district
sick of King Edward the First These
alleged rights are !:
First-The ''ordeal of fire" He claims
that he can demand the establishment of
his innocence by offering to plunge his
arm in boiling oil, pick up red-hot iron.
or walk barefoot over nine red-hot plOw-
shares, and that if he sustain no hurt by
the operation his innocence will be
proved, and the costs belong to the prose-
cutor. But this test, after mature delib-
Grafton, he will waive "All that re-
trial by combat, and may God defend the
guiltless.
He describes the procedure of this COM
bat as follows, producing ancient author
ity in its support:
The Judges and clergy are to assemble
on a given day, and before them the ac-
cused person must fling down his glove
and declare his intention to defend the
same with his body. The prosecutor
will then pick it up and announce his
readiness to make good the appeal, body
for body. Then both men Will bring out
their battle axes or javelins, and, kneel-
ing before the judges, will make oath
that the weapons have not been charmed
by witchcraft, etc. This done, each is to
grasp his AK in the right hand and the
left hand of the other in his left. The
accused person to say: ''Hear this, o
man, who callest myself John Firch by
the name of baptism, that I, who call
myself Frank Weiss by the name of bap-
tism did not libel you, so help me God
and all the saints To which the ac-
cuser will reply: "Hear me, o man,
whom [ hold by the hand, and who call
est thysef Frank Weiss by the name of
baptism, that / do hold thee periured.
and this [ will prove with my body, so
help me God and all the saints" At a
signal from Judge Galbraith the men will
come out of their corners and 90 for each
other, and his cause shall be deemed lust
who succeeds in carving up the other be-
fore the going down of the sun.
The merriment caused by Weiss's claim
can better be imagined than described.
One stout juror came near having fit of
apOplexy, and another laughed himself
into imbecility. During the roars of
laughter Weiss stood without smile on
his face, a picture of solid, substantial
misery. While conscious of the absurd
ity of his claims and the impossibility of
suhstantiating them, Weiss made the APP
peal with a tragic earnestness that al
most induced commissions. The upshot
is likely to be that the case will be
laughed out of court.