davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08
A Home Thrust.

Complaint was brought to Colonel
tIzzletop that his Johnny had attack
ed aud beaten, on Austin Avenue,
much smaller boy than himself.
The Colonel took Johnny aside, and
mad private conversation with him,
in which Joint discussion strap play
ed an important part.
I'll teach you to strike "a smaller
boy than YOURSELF
That's so,' sobbed Johnny, that's
just what You are doing
What do you mean, you scamp?'
shouted the enraged parent.
4 mean, pa, you taught me to whip
little boys. You are bigger than am,
and you have been whipping We ever
since | can remember. 81 | thought it
was all right for me to whip boys
littler than | am Teas Siftings.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08
Hadn't Got the Hang of It

y Democrat who heard something
awful good in the City Hall short
time ago started for Woodward avenue
with his hat in his hand. Meeting a
stranger at the gale, he swung his tile
and called out:
We've met emp
Yes
And won a glorious victory!.'
Yes
'lt is the biggest tidal wave ever
heard off,
Just so.'
Ana it will sweep the Republican
party off its feet =
'lt will
And give us Democratic Presi-
dentr
1 believe it,
Then let's give three cheers !. ~
'I-l-that's little too much
'How-why? Amt it glorious? 2
Yes, but You see | was a Republi.
can up to midnight, and it might not
be Ia good taste for me to utter anv
Democratic yells before the next day.
I'm with you-fm all right-but give
me little more time to get used to
the new party. .'-DetrOH Free Pres.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08
V A RIETI E S.

All good cloths come high except
ball dresses.
The man who loves to attend politi-
Cal meetings is a farce seeing man.
The best newspaper in the county
tie PORT TOBACCO TINES.
They have got to freezing corpses for
the Morgue in Paris. This is cold
comfort for the defunct.
The fog in Boston harbor was, re-
Gently, SO thick that the man at tie
wheel couldn't see the tip of his nose.
The London Graphic announces the
birth of three young children" the
old ones are in the lap of the future.
Beauty and bashfulness are united;
yet the prettiest maiden is admired for
her cheek. What about her two lips?
Whittier, in his poem of Maud Mil
ler,' prophesied that Massachusetts,
might have Benz now Butler has yer-
Iified the prophecy.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08

Need ii new hat:' lie said NO, but
I'll tell youin coniidence why bought
1t. want foik3 t. think III Il Dem
0crat.
Twenty years ago man now living
in Nevada, was divorce from his wife,
Last week lie sent for her, and they
were re -married.-Ec. \ pretty tough
old gumdrop that fellow must be.
TO keep hams, lock up the smoke
house AID don't give the cashier the
combination. The cashier may loose
his life by this means, but it is far
better that one cashier sould perish
than that you should not save your
lacon.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08
Expert Criticism.

TIE GIARING FAULT THAT TIE HoRSE
REPORTER DISCOVERED IN LOVE STORY
Good day, gentleman
y very nlce-looking young man
TODD in the doorway of the editorial
room and gazed in benign way at
The occupants Of the apartment.
Would it be possible for me to sell
;he Tribune u story he continued.
What kind Of story have you
ground CUT asked the horse reporter.
i he story, SAID the visitor, is one
in which the triumph of love is de-
picted, aud -
1t isn't one >of those and rs Ethel
stood there in the s'ift mo. might, her
1.-THE figure sharply outlined against
lie western SKY, there was loud crash
10 C0aSung Castle, and the girl knew
that Ter mother had dropped the
d2ughnut Jrr kiud of stories is it,
occ4us- 1t won't do said the horse
!epor.er.
'rherc is nothing at all about dough-
NUS in thi, story replied the visitor,
rather haughtily, 'but if you like you
can read u portion Of it..
All right.
Where shall begin =
'Anyw here, replied the horse repor-
ter. Suppose yoa give us the last
science Of it,
Il should hardly think
oh, never mind about that. We do
all the thinking for young authors
that come up here
The visitor seated himself ard read
as follows:
For answer Gladys beautiful eyes
dropped, but she gave him both her
hands, ana there, under the heavy
iruited trees, the golden bees flying
all about them and the air filled with
their dreamy monotone, he drew her
upon his breast, and, raising her long
rlnglets to his lips, kissed then rever-
entIv.'
That's the last sentence, is it?' asked
the horse reporter.
Yes, sir
4 should hope it was. 1t makes me
tired to read about such ducks
why, | don't see, began the au-
thor.
.Of course You don't. Probably you
were the hero of the noval. Did you
ever hear OF Thompson's COLT
The visitor admitted his ignorance
concerning this historical animal.
Well, Thompson's colt continued
the horse reporter, was such an eter-
nal idiot that he swan across the river
to get a drink. Now, that fellow in
your story is Il dead match for him
Il don t understands
Probably not. 1t is not to be ex-
pec.cd of literary people. But | will
tell YOU, this young fellow in your
story is OUT under an apple tree hold
lug a girls hand, isu't he:'
Yes.
And according to tie story, he
raised her long ringlrts to his lips and
kissed them reverently.' That right?'
Certainly
Now, what do you think of young
man that would 60 mbbllng around ii
girls back hair when she had her face
with her? Such stories do not pos
sess the fidelity to nature that should
ever characterize the work of genius.
NJ, my genial imbecile; you cannot
get the weight Of this powerful jour
nal on the side Of any such young man
as your story depicts. We were once
young and up to the apple tree racket
ourselves
Good day, said tn" author, starting
for the door
80 Ing was the response. Make
George act like u white man in your
story, and come around again.
CHicgu0 7JiblUo.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08


Wa 'eii an 'rP'.A' 4. al carry 'a'
o., N.in 'm'n'">' "ra. ~, -
Arriving al i''"'' '.''' '","''' -.
'hA, n"'i"S'''''a.'" ! .s-''' '.'.' ~ az :
'oI.t procure -..
" .e" vas 49, : '.'.'.' ! -.
m"r" I. m'fTf ",'.. a. ''l I'''.y' , : :
''''> 80 an. -
my htt.'" country ! '''''""y" WIG" !
married. I" Er'dsa '"'!r a." H''"e !.
my h"m-
oae SH"''us. ".''' recovering ''g"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08

haI -" ,n'1I ,'''e' a. '.'', Ia" .d ah
t,I c,i.sail,@l ,.i i Ia T. Ia;I that -,
tL.t r.,,. 'l... ,'.nII onn,n,,',n', " ',,, ~. ~
ra,''..,,..., ~ M D'' ,N ,t1 nr,'n,a ,',', y .n1 ~
com15 'I'T,, hrt w. n,n,a VIZ, p", onI6 .,I ~
.'I - I'nr. 20 -
snl I .I','.5 :. I,..,t.s. ,Mf thnre
An r,,,..,,"l ,.,.n. J. ~, u;,hin
wa ,l,,,+ a',t',,, H. L.rs'I,
'' ''I'',' c''' '''' '''' '''''' '''N
"'"'" ''''se'
determined 10 consult ia"Nsf,,
N whose secrecy cooi" c"hiide' an"
make such arrangements rs were aoso-
!uteIv necessary.
ava 50. ana awaited results.
ha' o'-h' We were '' :" 60 " P"' )
We oIo 50. b"j no. ""'" t'sSV''
either q cur hps on the way
During the '''"lh2 'Ie voice oI
some one Singing "'"ac, u III, "''ei', ,
'ioh. NE voice svetio" i"'H'''"'
coaId not be mlStaAeh, the voice was
hers
When 1t MAS LH'>"e0 SAe ia s." "ef
-
another s'ng-"He iad never near"
betore-iAe story oi u proud ne'F'
broken,
Then she ceased anu rose from her
seat, but so wn!te WIS she that ! !'AF
ed she would FAINT.
We soon returned nome. ne us
AZ ace ;!ll "r reached cur home.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08
INITIATED IN MASONRY.
The Bad Boy Gives Ills Father She Royal
Bt IN per Degree.


SAY are Won a Mason. or a Lodfel-
low ar apvtLino:' = asked the bad 5ov
of fine ororarv mn as he went 20 the
cinnam n baa on the shelf and took
ont a long stick Of cinnamon bark to
chew.
.Why, YES Of course | am. but what
set Won IN thinliry of that : aske0 the
Gerry man ~ he went 10 the desk
and ch,rraJ tha hov's f,tbar with half
y nonrl nr cinnamon
.W.lI. do tha go,t. hnnt when Won
uj>h;atc = fresh Candidate =
.Nn. Of coursa NOT. The coats are
cb.an ones tb,. have M f. and We
mn,,Ia tbam and nur pillows over
tbei. ha,ds 81 they can'I hurt any
body' saws the grocery man. as ne
winked At , brother odd Fellow who
was seated on = sng,r barrel. looking
mv.,e ,e~ioqs. But why DO Won ash 2
I'll. uulhin. only | wish me and nv
rhpm had mu,,ial our roat with a
n;II,w y, w~nl1 Lova enioved his
becoming a member Of cur lodge bet
;er. You see. pa bad been telling us
bow much good the Nasons and Odd
FeIlrfs did AMI SAID We ough; to try
aud GROW M GOOD So could line the
.o.e,s when v. cot bio. and asked
-. fl, vnuIJ do any hurt for Us to
have = pl,y Jol g in nv room and
pu,,enG to mshiatc. and pa sad il
woul!u't DO any nurt He said it
woulG improve our minds aud learn
rs 20 be mea. 80 mv chum aud ME
borrowed goat that lives IN Il livery
stable ami carried him mp 10 M room
" uen pa and ma was outudiug. but the
goat battlrL so We had TO tie hand
he chief around his nose, ami his feet
made sutn a noise on the floor that
wy nut some taby's socks on his feet.
Well. Sir. my c4um and me practiced
with the goat uutl lie could tunt a
pic.urr Of a goat eyery time. We bor-
r.e,l buck beer sign from a saloon
nan and hung 1t on the back of a
char. and the goat would hit it every
time. That night ia wanted to know
,.Ea. 40 n.,a -, mn N INV room
w.; .SrJ ~, ~, - ,i.,;-, lnIg,s
' | ,1.N' ,''' ,.-,,.f, 81 -,
1".. 'n'i ,,i. ,..s- -. a. r1,h;llr tnat
10 80 - -, , ,',, ,. bair r'rc5 g, ,.nI
=. - ;;,.,,,,, ~, ,n..n " ,..I s,n-a nv nss,ni
",'I.I.., NJ, nv rhnn, asl-sG na +
a.. -. c,,,,.. mr al i.l,a
~ ~, '.,.' - - ~ -. .rd -,
~: ,rI - r.1;rn,, 9ars # ne All
.,,s, =, .,.,.n,.,.,.. ~ h,r. !, irnocaDt
..,.,.,,., ,I.., -. -, ,,,,,.~r,i,., tn onr
,n,.jfa., H.. S.1 NM ths no.t m
- =, L., j., nv r-nr, ,nI h. bgf
-, .,.,.,,. a,,,,.,.., :, ~. ,,.. nf
-. l.,.ll.~.f,,.r 49,, Il. - lin.
.a.,..'.r 49,, n,,.'. ...,r.,, .rl sg...z
-
IN. -, -.
" "''.' - 7 ','''' ; ''''i 20" +" ~
u P',''t 500" 40" H.rr ~ Ice e
'''''"c' ''I'', ""'' "'' we - "S" '''il'
" 80 '''','s '''''' ( ~ ''''s, =, " pa
- .. I''' "'.' N"''l' !" J"'. Fua' ""1'T'
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-08

Fritz thinks that a pair of corsets is
nothing more than waist basket. Of
course it is.
why is a young man like a kernel
of corn?' asked young lady. Be
C use, said another, he turns white
when he pops
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

A GANG OF ADRo1r Sw1NDLERs UN-
EARTHED.-St. Louis, May GA gigantic
scheme of fraud and forgery has been un-
earthed by United States District Attorney
Bliss. A firm under the name of Burt &
Miller occupied room on the corner of
Fifth and Chestnut streets, from which
they sent out circulars offering government
land scrip for sale. The authorities made
a descent upon their Office, but the princi-
pals had flown. Meanwhile John B.
Cameron, believed to be a confederate of
the gang, was arrested at Sioux Falls,
Dakota, by the instrumentality of the
telegraph. He was taken to Yankton,
whittier Deputy United States Sheriff
has gone to bring him here. District At
torney Bliss believes there is an organized
ring who have counterfeited land scrip,
and that their operations have been very
extensive. He says they realize fifty per
cent. of the value of the scrip, and that
the gang must have realized from $780,
900 to 100000. In St. Louis he says
they succeeded in swindling to the amonnt
of $50, 900 before their arrest.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12
N. C. Supreme Court.

The following cases were argued before
the Supreme Court this week:
j. 81. Wilson and wife VS.. G. J. Line
berger and others, from CASTOR; continued
under former order. 5.
Shuford & Weathers VS.. Sidney Haynes
and others, from Lincoln; argued by Hoke
& Hoke and Battle & Mordecai for the
plaintiffs, and D. Schenck (by brief and
Fowle & Snow for the defendants. -
Paul Bernhardt, executor, VS.. w. A.
Smith and others, from Cabarrus; argued
by E. G. Haywood, Paul B. Means (by
brief and Fowle q Snow for the plain
tiffs, and Wilson & Son for the defend
ants. - - @ - = y -a g
J. w. Wiley VS.. G. W. Logan, from
Mecklenburg; continued for absence OF
counsel.
G. W. Chalk VS.. Traders National
Bank, from Mecklenburg; continued for
absence of counsel.
f. E. Barrett VS.. John L. Brown, trus.
tee, from Mecklenburg; argued by W. W.
Flemming (by brief for the plaintiff, and
Wilson & Son for the defendant.
William Johnston vs. S. P. Smith, from
Mecklenburg, urgued by Jones & John.
ston for the plaintiff, and Bynum g. Grier
Thy brief for the defendant.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

Hon. D. w. VOORHEES,, in concluding
his able and eloquent speech in the House
of Representatives, in March, 1872, "On
the plunder of the Southern States by the
Republican party" said:
81 challenge the darkest annals of the human
race for a parallel to the rebberies which have
been perpetrated on eleven American States.
Ireland has been made to enrich many lawless
lord-lieutenant sent over by England to govern
that beautiful but unhappy island. The stories
of her wrongs and pillage have been said and
sung in every hamlet in the civilized world; yet
her contributions to the cause of wicked gov.
ernment have been mere pittances compared to
what the South has been compelled to make, etc.
On the facts which have stated, in
woke the judgment of the country. What right
have you to expect peace and order in land
whose rulers are lawless felonsf When did q
bad government ever fail to produce wickedness
and crime? Do you wonder that they
become restless, desperate, and disobedient, as
they daily beheld the fruits of their toll stolen in
the name of their government In the
disorders which affict the South, the philosophic
mind beholds the inevitable results of well-known
causes. Had'you sown the seeds of kindness and
good will they would long ere this have bios
somed into prosperity and peace. Had you
sown the seeds of honor, you would have reaped
a golden harvest of contentment and obedience.
Had you extended your charities and your justice
to distressed people, you would have awakened
a grateful affection in return. But as you have
planted in hate and nurtured in corruption, so
have been the fruits which you have gathered"
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12
The Dublin Assassination.

DUBLIN, May 6.-Lord Frederick Caven.
dish and Under Secretary Burke were
shot dead this evening in Phenix Park.
After dinner Lord Frederick Cavendish
and Mr.. Thomas Henry Burke, Under
Secretary for Ireland. went for a walk in
Phoenix Park. They were shot close to
the Chief Secretary's lodge.
LONDON. May GA later telegram
from Dublin says it now appears that
Lord Frederick Cavendish and Under
Secretary Burke were stabbed, and not
shot. They were both strolling in the
park about half mile from the city gate
and quarter of mile from the Chief
Secretary's lodge, when car drove up
containing four men, two of whom jumped
down from the car and attacked Lord
Frederick Cavendish and Mr.. Burke,
stabbing them both several times in the
throat and breast. The victims struggled
hard for life, and in the struggle became
separated, their bodies being found some
ten PAGES apart. The tragedy occurred
about ten minutes after o'clock in the
evening, and in broad daylight. The
bodies were first discovered by two young
gentlemen who were riding bicycles
through the park, and who Immediately
gave the alarm to the Police Surgeon.
Great excitement prevails throughout
Dublin, and widespread indignation is
expressed over the event. A large guam.
tity of notes and gold coin, besides their
gold watches, were found in the pockets
of the victims, which showed that the OBJ
ject of the crime was not robbery.
1t is rumored that the driver of the cal
which took the assassins to and from Phe
nix Park, was murdered by them to pre-
vent discovery, and that his body has
been found in Chapel Izod.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

WHERE Is THERE SIMILAR CoINCI-
DENcE ?-Mr and Mrs. David Holman,
before they were married, made public
profession of religion at the same time ;
were baptized and joined the Baptist
church at the same time; raised family
of twelve children-all of whom married,
Except one son and he lived to years of
maturity ,)-six sons and six daughters !;
the sons are all dead but one the daugh-
ters are all living and all widows except
one; one son-in-law living. Mr.. and Mrs.
Holman died May, 1852, at an advanced
age, with the respect and entire confidence
of all who knew them. Mr.. Holman died
two hours before Mrs. Holman and they
were, of course, buried in the same grave,
at Society church. St0tesvilZe Landmark.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

A WASHINGTON correspondent says it
is the purpose of the Republican party in
the coming Congressional elections to
make a strong effort to capture quite a
number of the Congressional Districts of
the South. 1t is said that in those States
where there are indications of an Inde-
pendent movement, if the Independents
and Republicans will unite and agree
upon a line of policy to be pursued, the
President has promised to aid them to
the fullest extent by the use of Federal
patronage.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

W Margaret Bethel was for twenty
years pensioner on the charity of St.
Marks Episcopal Church, Philadelphia.
She had pitiful aspect, lived in very
humble apartments, and was persistent
beggar, her complaint always being that
died a few days ago, and some of her
benefactors opened their eyes in surprise
when they saw her remains carried in a
5000 coffin to a $500 vault. The next
revelation was made when her daughter
furnished house in an expensive manner,
took daily carriage rides In the park, and
dressed in fashionable clothes. Investi-
cation has shown that Margaret had, by
begging, accumulated fortune of SIC, 900.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12
AN IMPORTANT SUIT DECIDED.-Tb

AN IMPORTANT SUIT DEcIDED.-The
suit which has been pending for some time
in the Supreme Court of the United States
under the style of Rives, &C., VS.. Parish,
&C., from Albermarle county, Va, has
been decided in favor of Farish's estate.
The suit grew out Of contract for the
purchase of lot of negroes by Geo. l..
Peyton, with the late VIM. P. Parish as
security, from the late George Rives, the
purchase price for which amounted to
some $4,000, with interest from 1865.
Peyton and Parish claimed that it was a
Confederate contract, to be paid in Con.
the case was decided in Farish's favor, a
verdict being given for the scaled value OF
the amount, about $1,000. An appeal was
taken by Rives's administrator, and the
Supreme Court sustained the decision OF
the lower court.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12
The Crops.

The New York Times has recently COM
piled, from correspondence received by it
from thirty seven States and four Terri
tories, an interesting statement Of the gen.
eral condition of the crops in the country
at this time These estimates, it states,
were obtained from persons whose business
and interest it has been to secure knowl-
edge of the crops, and from them the fol-
lowing facts were eIicited:
Small grains promise we'll and winter
wheat will give an increased yield in nearly
every State except Indiana, Ohio and N lew
York. Spring wheat is more promising.
"In the great grain States west of the
Mississippi" says the Times, "the increase
is especially marked, in some cases as
much as so per cent. In some of the old
grain States other grains are replacing
wheat-barley, oats and rye especially.
In all these large increase in acreage is
reported and promise large crop. In
sects and rust are reported in some places
but only in Tennessee is much alarm felt.
Corn shows very large increase in nearly
every State where it is cultivated at all.
In the North it shares to some extent in
the displacement of winter wheat, and in
the South it is replacing cotton to some
extent.
AS to cotton an average crop at least is
expected. Owing to the floods, abandon
ment of the all cotton system and the fail
ure to obtain sufficient supplies, the area
planted will be much reduced, but the use
of fertilizers is expected to keep the yield
up to the average. Except in some of the
flooded districts, the sugar cane crop is
reported to be in fine condition, and the
prospects OF the rice and tobacco crops
are very encouraging. A light yield.of
hay and grass is expected, and larger
crop than usual of potatoes, owing to tie
fact that an increased acreage is being
planted. Frosts have materially injured
the fruit crop, but it has not as yet been
determined whether the peach crop in
Mary land and Delaware has been seriously
damaged. Small fruits, however, are re.
ported to have suffered severely; but this
statement is regarded as rather doubtful
and more in the nature of inference than
logical deduction from the actual con.
dition of things. Owing to the mildness
of the winter the cattle-growing interests
of the West are in fourishing condition,
and altogether the prospect is most en-
couraging."
In Georgia the condition of the crops
as far as can be ascertaiDed at present, il
about as follows: The acreage of cotton
will be considerably reduced, and that Of
small grain and provision crops proper
tionately increased. In some localities la
Dor is scarce and difficult to obtain, but
as general rule, the indications are good
and farmers are much pleased at the pros
pect. In short, all reports indicate that
| Georgia will have abundant crops, raise 6
greater proportion OF her own supplies
than ever before, 60 less on credit, rely
more on food crops than on cotton, an6
become self-supporting in every sense o
the word.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

Boston, Mass, May e.-Marie Korig,
a German woman, forty-six years of age,
this morning murdered her boy Auguste,
five years old, by cutting his throat with
a case-knife. She then cut the throat of
her daughter Mary, aged thirteen, but
not fatally. Her son Alfred was also cut
in dozen places, and Emil, boy of
seventeen, wounded, but neither of them
fatally. Mrs. Korig then attempted to
commit suicide by cutting her left leg
below the knee. She is undoubtedly in
sane.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

Gov. VANcR's LEcruRE.-The Rich
mond Dispatch of the 5th inst. says: "Last
night at the theatre SenatorZ. B. Vance
delivered his lecture for the benefit of the
Governors Guard, Company E, Captain
Parater. A Asplendid audience was present,
including much of the beauty, fashion and
intellect of the city. The lecture lasted
an hour, and was full of anecdote and
humor illustrative of the ups and downs
of politicians. The audience manifested
its pleasure by repeated applause. His
picture of the politician who leaves his
party and goes to another was capi.
tai one, and was the best feature of the
lecture.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

WE learn that Henry Haddock, near
Haddock's x Roads, Pitt county, was
killed by fourteen year old son of his
brother William. Henry Haddock, while
intoxicated came to his brother Williams
house and commenced a fight with him,
and being of superior strength got him
down and was beating him, when the son
got shot gun and fired, the contents en-
tered the head OF Henry Haddock killing
him instantly.
Charlotte home and Democrat., 1882-05-12

fight has been made by Holman and others
against the Federal-building bills in the
House, but they have gone through. On
Monday, Greensboro was added to the
three other North Carolina towns pro-
vided for at this session-Asheville, Char
lotte and Newbern. These buildings, if
properly constructed, will be very con-
venient, affording Office as we'll as court
room facilities. The amount appropriated
is $4,000 in each instance. That much
money ought to build a very fine house.