The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-01-13

i
The republic is guilty of the sin
of counting the people, and the act
causes more anxiety to the virtuous
and vicious alike, than the voting of
supplemental credits for Tunisia, or
the casuistical debate about NJ.
Gambetta being chief of the execu-
tive, and M. GreYy, chief of the
state. The graYamen of the anx-
| iety residesi in the fact that citizens
have to tabulate a portion of. their
autobiography and then hand it to
| Cerberus, the generic name of house
porter, who will read. mark, learn
and gossip about it as Familiarity as
II the subject were only a postal
card or tax summons. Not few
would prefer the Roman plan Of ap-
pearing before "A censor in his curule
chair, and, while supplying details,
swear to their accuracy. The re-
public, however, like the Friends,
observes the injunction "te swear
not at ALL" There are couples liv-
ing together Independent of the au-
thOriZation of church or state; they
have children, whose parentage is
an enigma. With the Latins, single
women and orphans were registered
on separate list and never were in
cluded in the general population
balance. A lady who has positively
become fresherJ looking since
the last census, is she JUS
tilted in docking enc lustre ray,
off natures addition ? A dear crea-
ture VINO passes as widow and has
one baby, but who has never been
married, must she destroy the charm
by writing herself down demoiselle?
Unlike bigamy, it is not a hanging
offense to supply s'incomplets" in
| formation to aeenSus clerk, happily.
Why should ladies be punished for
INDUCING In romantic news, and
Journalists be let off scot free !?
| Equality is republican virtue, and
| gallantry ought to initiate charity
| by covering a multitude of sins.
Often in a court Of law, a judges
quart-shape hat has been observed
to involuntarily stand bolt upright
when a lady replies to her age; but
the annals Of the bench never record
an instance where judge followed
with the observation, Madame, re-
member you are on your OATH"
The Figaro, which claims to be
the first Journal in France, indulg-
ing in a remarkable guess at truth,
that its columns were becoming as
uninteresting as a charity sermon
or slashing article in quarterly,
offered a prize of 500 francs for a
| three column contribution on any
subject, only to be outside of abb
stract politics, pure literature or
| first class rhetoric. Nearly 500 man.
uscripts were received. A good
many of the articles were written
on wrapping paper, used-up grocery
bags, and bearing numerous inner
ana outer circles of pint measures
and tumblers. As sign Of the
times, the grand majority of the
| essays were devoted to criminal and
photographic subjects. The tale
selected unanimously" is mandy
PANTY loves Of the angels affair;
where a young man quarrels with
his grisette, aAd they never meet. till
both are in the scar and yellow leaf;
he, an aeademician, and she, the
granny of an artisan family. Sic
transit gloria. The truth is public
taste in France, as in other coun-
tries, perhaps, leans to money
making, luxurious comforts, amuse
ments of tho forum character Oh
gala days, sensational stories not
longer than telegram, where the
success of virtue or the triumph OF
villainy, creates no other interest,
than as works of art. All else is
leather and prinello. sT -...I
But I forget Donate, who con-
tributes to our pdnem ct circe1lSeS
avidities. He possesses a one pan
oramic power of attraction. He is
a magnetizer, an old matter under a
new form. Hitherto Professor
Charcot had the monopoly of impos-
ing his will on the Ca alrptic, the
Ihysteric, and the hypriutlr, i, Z mod
ern science coins as many n; "a IS as
the scholaStics of the middle ages.
Donate aims to populariZe the bio
logical phenomena of Charcot on
the inmates of Saltpetriere lunat
asylum; only the professors audi
tors do not laugh, and their number
| is restrained. Donate makes science
amusing, and more mouths
are opened by broad grins
than one. He has no con-
nection, he asserts, with such
houses over the way as the consol-
sonists of St. Niedard, Balsamo or
Cagliostro. He selects from among
the audience, the fastest gommettT
or any young men from the country,
and makes them as obedient to his
will as Ariel t. Prospero. They
Lavow turnips to be peaches, moons
green cheese, and freezing point TO
be close neignbor to boiling water.
Thus man comes up to what woman
is said to be-a contradiction. Mile.
Lucille is the girl Of the period.
I'm faco pice di tuce. Donate takes
herl hair pin, Of respectable
dagger size, plHnges it into her arm,
and she 10 more budges than mar
tyr in his shroud. A concert fol-
lows. where tin kettles and tom
toms discourse excellent music; she
avows. as Donate tells her, it is an
overture of Councils, till a son of
harmony exclaims, Vtre Wagner!
1 r. q)Ti11itZ a. la T1lISicG.