The conservator., 1882-11-18


, so YE'RE an American" said th
amiable Carlyle to James T. Fields
Mr.. Fields admitted the sin. "Ah
that's wretched nation of your ain
It's all wrong. It always has beer
from the vera beginning. That gret,
mon Of yours-George - YOU'D grett
mon George was monstrous bde, and
wants taking down a few hundred
pegs" Really, Mr.. Carlyle" replied
MIR. Fields, you are the last man in
the world from whom should have ex.
pected such an observation. Look at
your own book on Cromwell! What
was Washington but Cromwell without
his personal ambition and without his
fanaticism?" "Eh, sir, responded Car
lyle, "George had neither ambition nor
religion, nor any good quality under
the sun-George was just Oliver with
all the juice squeezed out" Mr.. Fields
might have retorted that Carlyle was
just the old, bigoted, American-hatino
Dr. johnson with all the juice squeezed
out.
ONE Of the most horrible 4 siaes of
the day was that of younI, girl in
Paris, not French girl. She went to
the Cathedral of Notre Dame in the
morning, where she met an old woman
stranger, whom she asked to lunch
with her. She did not appear dement,
ed or excited. At the table she helped
the old women heartily, but scarcely
ate anything herself. After this both
ascen'ed the tower of the cathedral for
view of Par:s. While standing there
the young girl ran suddenly out, "and,
climbing on the parapet, flung herself
forward. She fell on the railing. the
spikes OF which have the form of CHS
els. They cut the body in two near the
waist. The lower part fell backward
on the porch, and the upper part stuck |
on the rails. A policeman f4n to the |
morgue to fetch the dead cart. The
head, on which a round hat remained,
and the chest were not disfgured. but |
quite blanched.
ICELAND is the Ultima Thule of Eu-
ropean civilization, and this may ac-
count for the exaggerated style in
which the by no means unusual poverty
OF its inhabitants is spoken of by those
whose knowledge of it is merely hear
say description. We are told that there
is no famine in the island and no ex-
traordinary destitution among the Ice
landers. No doubt the inhabitants of
this cold and desolate country find it
hard at all times to obtain the means of
subsistence; but further than this there
is no truth in the alarming stories that
have been circulated. So little is real
ly known about Iceland that any infor- !
nation which reaches us concerning it
is seen through the magnifying glass of
The imagination.
A MEMPHIS man at masquerade ball
concluded that George Washington
trunk would attract more attention a
han George Washington sober. And l
70 he, being supposed to be George Il
Washington, became fearfully and won q q
lerfully exhilarated. The court re-
marked, the next morning, "Now, if
'ou had got drunk as private citizen.
should have fined you S.; but. mas
nuch as you appeared at the mask ball
nd committed the offense while imper- y
onatlng the character of George Wash 1S
1gton, the revered father of his coun- m
~ 1 Will have to gently stisk you for al
zo. won't have this sort of patriot
m brought into disrepute." :
IT was only two years ago that Maine
as overrun with gold and silver pros
ectors and spectators. Wildcat min gr
g companies by the score were estab- II II
she'd, and thousands of dollars spent n
the endeavor to squeeze the precious in
etals from the rocky ribs of the Pine or
rec State. The mines of Sullivan, ce
aerryield, Gouldsboro, fremont and sU a1,
ne Hill have proved to be total or so
rtial failures. Of the 100 mining me
duly incorporated eighteen >;
'nths ago, not one has paid single -l'
7idend. The Spectators, who have
rewdly feathered their nests at the
pense of confidi-g stockhyiders, are l
} only ones who have profted by the no
Om. w
mo
4 GOOD lady in Gait, Canada, who bus
ut out to attend church service on a
ent Sund;,., evening, took from closet
ore starting, as the sky looked like
n, garme- hich she supposed to
her doEn.n. Kneeling in her pew,
cast the Wrap which she had A
'ught over the sea+ before her. As w.
did so she pc 'ved with horror
the article va. pair of her hus-
IDS trousers, and, hurriedly jerking A n
m under the 1t, she left them CEN
re until the close of the service, perS
IN she managed to smuggle them 'i'S