The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-02-23
SHORT BITS.

The United States is fast becoming q
vaccine nation.
No better advice could be given an
aspirant than the terse little counsel of
Emerson: eff you want success, sue
ceed."
At q confirmation in st. Pauls Cathe-
dral, London, recently, 300 persons were
confirmed. They came from every part
of London.
It does break up the landlord Of ahotel
to have guest say: Landlord, think
it would be an improvement if this shoe
brush had another hair in it,"
The meanest man in Ohio gave his
neighbours boy fifteen cent dog just the
day before the tax was assessed. How's
that for u regular swindle?
In spite of drouth and cinch bugs,
Kansas, according to the latest reliable
estimates, will have this season about
100, 900, 900 bushels of corn.
A young man who was presented with
eleven Queen Anne pen-wipers on Christ
mas-day by his lady friends continues to
wipe his pen on his coat-tail.
eyes, SIR" said the Louisville man,
"my neighbor told me he had concealed
$500 in his corncrib. But didn't go
near it. Hang it, I knew he liedI'
An Indiana man took sixty grains of
quinine for the chills and fever and all
his relatives now regret that he had not
stuck to the chills and let the quinine 60.
Gambetta hoorays for celibacy. He
don't propose to begin every day by q
fight about who's to build the fire.
Thinks it'll make man sour all day,
maybe.
There are some experiences in life
which make us feel like the boy, who,
when he stubbed his toe against sharp
stone, said he was too big to cry and too
badly hurt to laugh.
A Cincinnati girl has eloped with q
murderer. This female craze for linking
themselves with prominent men will con-
tinue as long as there are females and
prominent men.
The average price paid fer milk de-
livered at the Longford (Eng.) cheese
factory for nine years, ending with 1850,
was "a pence per gallon, as near as
may be ID IL cents of our money.
Said the drummer: whats the use Of
telling the truth, anyway? If you do
folks will think you lying all the time
or. if by any accident they do believe
you, they'll say you're deuced fresh"
Dress suits at morning entertainments
would not seem out Of place did they not
always suggest that the wearers had beer
out late to a swell club supper the night
before and went to bed without disrob
ing.
There are some ugly statistics on post
ing the books for 1881. For instance
500 homicides in the United States and
Canada; 242 suicides; 80 legal execu
tons and about so by decree of Judge
Lynch.
In the last ten years the Baptists are
said to havs gained 761, AIS members il
fifteen southern States. In the six east
ern States the increase has been 16. 700
in the middle States, "a 1903; and in the
western States, GA, 766.
While the Hartford people are loading
the Rev. DIR. Gage with honors and buy
ing pistols for him, because he captured
burglar, q Minnesota clergyman is
under discipline by his congregation be-
cause he knocked down ruffian who
assaulted him.
Half dozen young scapegra'es are
said to be going about in Minnesota vac.
cinating the inhabitantj OF tat State
with mucilage, and the victimted people
get from their neighbors ihe cordial
sympathy expressed in ne remark:
"Well, you must be mighty fresh sort
Of an IDIOT"