Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-11-09
Spoopendyke Stops Smoking.

head and gazing at himself in the
glass; "my dear, do you know I
think I smoke too much? 1t doesn't
agree with me at ALL"
"Just what I have always thought"
chimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, ''and be-
sides, it makes the room smell so.
You know this room"
"I'm not talking about the ROOM"
retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke, with a
snort. ''I'm not aware that it affects
the health of the room. I'm talking
about my health this trip, and I think
I'll break off short. You don't catch
me smoking any MORE" and Mr..
Spoopendyke yawned and stretched
himself, and pumped down in his
easy chair and glared out the window
at the rain.
s'How are you going to break OFF,
inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, drawing
up her sewing chair, aad gazing uE
into her husbands face admiringly.
II suppose the best way is not tt
think of it at ALL"
1.-THE best way is for you to si1
there and cackle about it!'' growled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "If anything viii
distract my attention from it that will.
Can't We think of something else to
talk about? Don't ye know some sub.
jects that don't smell like a tobacco
plaptation?"
Certainly" cooed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, rather nonplussed. 1--WE might
talk about the rain. 1 suppose this
is really the equinox. How long will
it last, dear?"
"Gast the equinox!" sputtered Mr..
Spoopendyke. '.Don't you know that
when a man quits smoking it depresses
him! What dye want to talk about
depressing things for? Now's the
time to make me cheerful. If We
don't know any cheerful things, keep
quiet"
"Of course" assented Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, "you want subjects that will
draw your mind away from the habit
of smoking like you used to. Won't
it be nice when the long winter even
ings come, and the fire is lighted and
you have your slippers and paper"
"That's just the time 1 want a
cigar!' roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
bounding around in his chair and
scowling at his wife. "Ain't We got
sense enough to shing.e your tongue
for a minute? The way you're keep
ing it up you'll drive me back to my
habit in less'n an hour he continued
solemnly, ''and then my blood will be
on your nead!
"Oh, dear!'' sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, II didn't mean to. Did you
notice about the comet? They say it
is going to drop into the sun and
burn up"
"There We go again!'' yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke. s'You can't open your
mouth without suggesting something
that breaks me down! What dye
want to talk about fire for? Who
wants fire when he's stopped smoking?
Two minutes more and I'll have a
pipe in my MOUTH and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke groaned dismally in contem-
plation Of the prospect.
Sim glad you are going to stay at
home to-day" continued Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, soothingly. "You'd be sure
to catch cold if you went out and
by and by we'll have a piping hot
dinner"
"That's it," squealed MI. Spoop-
endyke, bounding out of his chair
and plunging around the room.
"You'd got to say something about a
pipe! l knew how it would be. You
want me die! You want me to smoke
myself into an early grave! You'll
fetch it! Don't give yourself any
uneasiness! You're on the track"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke buried bis face
in his hands and shook convulsively.
81 meant it for the best my DEAR"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke. 81
thought l was drawing"
"That's it," ripped Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. drawing? You've driven me
to it instead Of keeping me from it.
You know how it done? All you need
now is a lightning rod and a dish of
milk toast to be an inebriate's home!
Where's that cigar I left here on the
mantel? Gimme my death warrant!
Show me my imported doom! Drag
my miniture cofin!" and Mr..
swept the contents of
shelf upon the floor and howled dis
''Isn't that it?'' asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, pointing to a snail pile of
snuff on the chair in which Mr..
Spoopendyke had been sitting. "That
looks like it."
"Woh!" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
.rasping his hat and making for the
door. "Another time / swear off you
go into the country, you hear?" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke dashed out of the
house and steered for the nearest to-
.acco store.
81 don't carc," muttered Mrs.
Spoopendyke; "when he swear OF
again I'm willing to leave, and in the
meantime I suppose he'll be healthier
without his pipe, 50 I'll hang It up on
The wall where he'll never think Of
looking for it," and having consigned
The tobacco to the flames, Mrs. Spoop-