San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-05-25
"There are a great variety of contrib.

There are a great variety of contrib
ntors to the newspapers. First, there
Is the classical writer. He is always on
the lookout for obsolete and uncommon
words'and phrases, never heard or seen
exceptin the most complete unabridged
dictionaries. When he has collected
number of such words he goes to work
and writes an article around them-that
is, adapts the subject to the words. He
can't write half column article without
introducing the names of a lot of old
mummies, who were petrifed thous.
and yeats before the advent of the Sa-
vior, whether they be germane to the
subject or not. He provides himself
With biographical dictionaries, with the
names, professions and achievements of
the old fellows, all classified and ar,
ranged, and then turns himself loose
upon them. If he fails to spell the
names correctly i'm copying them, it is
all right, for he knows the proof reader
is bound to look them up and get them
right In the paper or lose his job. He
may write it yJohannis Schneider, but
after a good deal of worrying and
guessing it is found to mean julius
Caesar. AEtfff EEbftgE
Then there's the minister, who sends
in mere skeleton of sermon, page
of which looks'like the top of tea bt K
covered with Chinese hieroglyphics, all
disconnected, with Scripture proper
names written in dots and 'dashes, and
the whole affair complete enigma.
However, he knows it will be all right,
and that the printers and proof-reader
will unravel it, no matter if they are fit
subjects for the madhouse before they
get through with it.
"Then there is the local reporter.
Well, he is good fellow and means
well he has troubles of his own. But
if he spells mans name four different
ways in an item three inches long, he
knows the proof-reader will drop ev-
erything, rush around and find direc
tory or something else, and fix it all
right before it goes into the paper.
Also comes the statistical fend, with his
figures all presenting the same appear
ance, he not having time to cast up his
columns for totals, knowing the proof
reader is bound to fix them up.
"There are also country correspond
ents, the young poet, the scientist and
the inguistical Smart Aleck, who can't
write fifty lines without scattering in
bits of French, Latin or Spanish, to
show that he has been there. 1t mat
tiers not whether he gets his FOREIGN
words in right or not, the proof-reader
must scratch around and get everything
right somehow, or the next day he will
hear from the powers in the sanctum.
In fact, to be success the proof-reader
should be an animate cyclopedia, with
the patience of Job and the endurance
of adamant-but he is not, and hence
his troubles"
"Well, papa, he has plenty of time to
fix everything and correct all the mis-
takes of the writer's and printers, has
he not?"
ooh, yes. That is, taking an article
which has required the author half a
day to write, the proof.reader has about
twenty minutes in which to correct and
put it into shape, with the foreman
bobbing around like al hen on hot ashes,
hurrying things up, calling for this or
that matter, and crying out: whats
the matter with that proof? Hurry it
up or it'll be left out!"
"Well, the proof.reader must he well
paid for all that hard work and vexa-
tion, isn't he?"
ooh, certainly. In some offices he
gets as much as $l2 per week, and in
some he gets more. At 4 o'clock in the
morning he goes home with his head
buzzing like beehive, and feeling
like freight train had run over him;
then the next day he goes down to the
office trying to feel resigned in expec-
tation Of the G.. B. (Which means the
grand bounce), for failing to properly
edit some f,llow's hog-wash. But he
doesn't live long, and his martyrdom
on earth secures to him soft thing in
the next world. Let's take a street car
and go home"