The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-08-25
WHY WE LAUGH.
xrabi Bsything dresses are fashionable 1t
the aoaahor0

xzabi Beything dresses are fashionable at
the seashore.
A man never yet caught fish - big % the
one that got away from the hook just as 1t
was being landed.
When freight train gets In from Connec-
ticut some Of our dealers Immediately ad-
vertise, "Fresh' ARRIVAL Of Havana cigars."
Stoves are supposed to be . somewhat
modern invention, but the Egyptians were
warmed by Alexander the grate b. e. 3Oo.
A Washington clerk who had keg Of
specie drop on his fingers Ii one OF the few
people who ever had too much cash on
hand.
Presently some enterprising church,
awakening to the fact that Ii behind the age,
will discard Its bell and put In . steam
whistle.
EgRs are ten cents q dozen at Quincy,
Florida, and there Ii no sale at oil for chick
enc. Quincy is bidding for the next Metho-
dist Conference. s--zvv~ts.s-s '3 s- s'.sass'
A young man In this city who practiced In
the gymnasiun one afternoon only, was en-
abled to jump his board bill the very next
day. Courier-J Journal.
John bingham Of Chaumont, n. Y.,is 104
years old and has always voted the Demo
cratic ticket. This Ii the most remarkable
example Of endurance yet given to the press.
-Citize1.
The Superintendent of the Lachine Canal,
Canada, discourages bathing In that estuary
BY con6scating the costumes Of the bathers.
Tie other day man was obliged to walk
home In nour barrel.
Damanhour IL one Of the places on the
Egyptian war map. 1t Is supposed that this
10 the spot where one morning an Egyptian
editor discovered . prominent typographical
error In his leading editorial.
"Why Is Mrs, Brown putting on 90 many
airs of late ?" asked Mrs. Jones Of Mrs.
Smith. Haven't you heard Of their wind
fall ?" rejoined Mrs. Smith. mo, what ID II ?"
said Mrs. Jones. "Why, Mr.. Browns uncle
In the country has just died and left him
forty bushels Of oats"
sis dis heah letter oil right, boss ?" asked
an Austin darkey handing the clerk letter
he wanted to send Of In the mail. The clerk
weighed the letter, and returned 1t, saying !:
"You want to put another stamp upon It. 1t
weighs too much" "Ef puts another stamp
on de letter, dat won't make It no lighter.
OATS gwins to make 1t weigh mors."-Texas
Siftings.
Jack Lincoln, son of Secretary Lincoln, Is
very bright and interesting little fellow,
and affords . considerable amount Of enter
tainment to the clerks and visitors to his
fathers Office. The other day he was ANUS
ing himself copying the names Of the Presi-
dents and, pausing, looked up from lis work
and with great naivete remarked, "Why,
ever 90 many Of the Presidents were named
after streets In Chicago."-Washington Re.
publican.
A Jerseyman went to Mauch Chunk, Pa,
| to spend his vacation, and during the first
night three old hens, which had gone to
roost on tree outside his bedroom window
were disturbed by . cat and few into the
apartment. The Jerseyman awakened and
slashed pillow around until the bewildered
fowls found their way out. The next morn
| ing he told his host that he should come
there every summer, for during the whole
night he had seen but three mosquitoes
Phil. Ners.
| The cucumber came in the cleaning,
And crept In the urchin's NAV;
| Now that doubled-up angel is roaming
Through realms his dear parents ne'er saw
For they on this sad earth are weeping,
And gnashing their teeth in despair;
Their cup Of cold sorrow Is heaping-
They are minus ten-year-old heir.