Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-09-09
Saturday Smiles.


rendered valid by a corroborating kiss.
A man has been arrested in New York fol
cOunterfeting theater tickets. His villainy ha
put him in a ''boX," but he signs for the family
circle.
A Kentucky book-agent was attacked by rob
bers the other day, but he succeeded in talking
them to death before the villains could escape
Amateur Gardener wants to know the
easiest way to make a dollhouse. Leave box
of matches where the baby can play with them
1t is the easiest thing in the world TO dis
tinguish between an English lord and an Ameri
can copy. commonly Called snob. The Eng
llshnnan always speaks we'll Ofhis own country
Hartford Post.
Fashionable people who have only dresses
enough to last Woodworking two new ones
every day-travel from one watering place to
another during the summer. 1t is cheaper t.
travel than it is to buy new clOthes.-NetC Or
leans Picay,ene.
An old citizen, returning to his home from a
banquet. meets another old citizen coming from
the opposite direction. ''Ish thish the avenue:''
asked No. l. GLOW should know? I wash a.
the banquet myself"
The gentleman who went off on vacation fol
rest and recreation, and to recuperate from the
tolls of the year, has returned and expects in
about week to be sufficiently recovered to
work with some vfgor.
Yes. - he said. I'm have the plumber come
trouble with the drainage, but our cook is sort
OF discontinued and we don't want her to leave
and maybe being cOurted for four hours will
make her less restless.-BOston Post.
Nantucket has girl pilot only II years old:
Knows all the bu6ys in the sound. you can bet
Burlington Hd,rkeye.
you dog of printer cried the enraged
poet, you have not punctuated my poem at
ALL Eyes, but you see sir, l am not pointer
I'm SETTER, replied the printer.
Archbishop Whately was one day asked if he
rose early. He replied that once he did, but he
was so proud all the morning and so sleepy all
the afternoon that he determined never to do it
again.
At the watering places, when a girl keeps up
Irritation with two beaus. they say she drives
tandem and tandem Irritation is described as
peculiarly exciting and difficult. The great
difficulty is in SO arranging the blinkers that
each arrival may imagine that he is in single
harness.
A candidate met Uncle Nose and said to him:
BE sure to come to the ward meeting tonight
and bring all your neighbors with you" "You
kin jees bet dey will come along with me. or
stay at home myself: Oar wouldn't be chicken
left in my coop if l was ter go to the ward
meetin' and huff dem neighbors at home.''
A stranger called at forty-eight different
houses in Cleveland and asked, SIS the boss
homer" There was no man at home in anv one
instance. and yet forty-seven of the women
promptly replied: ''Yes. sr-what do you want?"
Detroit Free Press
Idaho has a newspaper and saloon under
one management. The scheme possesses several
advantages The editor can get his drinks at
wholesale rates, and sink the money he makes
on his saloon in filling long-felt want with his
experimentation Herald
The subscribers to O'Dynamite Rossa,s
''skirmishing fund.-" in New York, want the
trustees to explain what has become of the
funds. The subscribers are not aware that the
trustees held picnic recently and passed reso-
lutiOns declaring that Ireland must be free.
They don't appear to know that it costs a how
ling lot Of money to free Ireland at q picnic
NO,TiStO,cn Herald
''What have you that s good?" said hungry
traveller, as he seated himself at table dhote at
Salt Lake city hotel. "Oh," said the waiter,
1--WE we roast beef, roast mutton, roast pork
and broiled curlews." "What g curlew?"
said the traveller. "Why, bird-something
like snipe." ''Could it fiy?' eyes," sDid it
have wings?' 'sYes." ''Then don't want any
curlew:: Anything that had wings and could fly
and did MT leave this country, don't want for
my dinner. "-Hotel Mall