The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1882-02-18
SHORT BITS.

Fowls should be like the best raisins-
good layers.
The man who pockets everything he
can Law hands on must be first-rate pool
player.
They talk of establishing schools for
stokers in England. This is truly
CRATE undertaking.
The stars are preachers of beauty,
which light the world with their admon-
ishing smile.
The feeble tremble before opinion, the
foolish defy it, the wise Judge it,the skill
full direct it.
We should often be ashamed of our
best actions if the world saw the motives
which inspire us.
It is rIlinous misiudgment, to con-
temptible to be acted upon, that the end
of poetry is publication.
Flowers sweeten the air, rejoice the
eye, link us with nature and innocence,
are something to love.
1t is great misfortune not to have
wit enough to speak we'll, or not enough
Judgment to keep silent.
The new London journal for women is
called The Fan. The shrewd public
thinks every lady will open one.
If o boy should catch hold of your ear
and ask if you had the wrong pig by the
ear, would you answer yes or no?
'sI'd just like to see you, said a blind
| man to policeman, who told him he
would lock him up if he didn't move on.
Faith and persistency are life's archi-
| tects; while doubt and despair bury
| s,r1or tbo r1ri,s of onfonyoP
1t is strange that men will talk of mir
| acles, revelations, inspirations and the
like, as things past, while love remains.
All men must admire frank and open
| honesty of purpose. though few are
ready to seek to possess it themselves.
! The level we strike in the soul that
touches most nearly is almost sue to 10
| the high writer mark of our own.
To be effectively honest a man must be
honest at heart. Honesty that comes
through bell punch is full of heies.
We cannot conquer fate and neces-
sity; but we can yield to them in such a
manner as to be greater than if we
could.
The frmest friendships have been
| formed in mutual adversely; as iron Is
most strongly united by the fercest
flame.
Pain, like q trusty sentinel, guards
every avenue leading to the citadel of
life, and we are by it forewarned of
danger.
Let those who would affect singularity
with success, first determine to be very
virtuous, and they will be sure to be very
singular.
Tom Thumb has become spiritualist,
| but he is not a medium. He's much too
small for medium. He's hardly half
medium.
The Now Haven Register offers years
subscription TO the first person who will
reach. the North Pole by balloon. Well
add chrome.
taThere is no accounting for tastes.
Nonsensel What is the work of q book
keeper in an eating house, but account
ing for tastes.
A scientist claims to have discovered
kind of wasp that doesn't sting. He
must have had q heap of fun expert
menting before he found it.
Augusta, Georgia, has acquired the
unenviable reputation of being market
for the disposition of human bodies
throughout the South and West.
Puck-"Can you get people out safely
in case of fire?" Manager Haven't
had time to think of that; getting em in
is what interests mer'- Puck.
A Chicago girl has sued a man for
SIC, 900 for hugging her twice. The man
who would hug girl only twice decides
to be mulched in heavy damages.
mo, SIR" said the Texas editor, 'I
didn't suppress the story of the Brown
scandal out of regard for Brown. / did
SO out of regard for myself. Brown can
fight"
When child cannot answer a ques-
ton, he never says, "Oh, don't bother
me now, I'm busy Only children of
a larger growth deal in ouch subter-
fuges.
: The dentist should be good oarsman.
! He is used to pulling in single sculls.-
/ The Judge. This joke is too thin, be-
cause it is tooth out..--Steubenyille
Herald.
The New Orleans Picayune believes
that psalm tunes should be played on an
, upright piano. Which suggests that
Masonic music should be played on the
! square.
!, Mr.. Simon Few, who had visited
nearly every habitable place on the face
of the earth, has just died at Leayen-
: worth, Kansas. And yet he had Few
!: mourners.
Hens scratch up flower beds only
. when they are barefooted. Tt is strange
. no one has ever thought to go into the
j garden and ssshoo" the hens to keep then,
8 from doing damage.
! They have found king who reigned
l in Egypt more than century before
2 Abraham. He's dead. He's mummy.
He'snot pretty mummy now, but pretty
mum he is, now.
One man will suggest something as
), worthy of the charities of the charitable,
and two other men will abuse everybody
who does not assist the enterprise. This
! is public opinion.
Ruskin sums up the fiction question
3 | (which he has been discussing In the
= Nineteenth Century, with the dictum,
mo good is ever done to society by the
pictorial representation OF its diseases.
!, A New York dancing master says that
5 in dancing there should be no more con-
tact of person than there is in walking.
1 Oh. .pshaw dancing in that manner would
be like getting drunk on cold water
Oil City Derrick.
!. A little four-year-old girl was capering
around her mothers knee the other day,
r when the mother remarked, 'Why, dear.
! yon are certainly beside yourself" The
! little girl replied, why, ma, fot
was beside 'ou.'
= L.. Al II