The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-03-02
ALL SORTS.

ltCUlf0 uue.
We cannot conquer fate and neces-
sity; but we can yield to them in such
manner as to be greater than If we
could.
The frmest friendships have been
formed in mutual adversely; as iron is
most strongly united by the fercest
flame.
Pain, like q trusty sentinel, guards
every avenue leading to the citadel of
life, and we are by it forewarned OF
danger.
Let those who would affect singularity
with success, first determine to be very
virtuous, and they will be sure to be very
singular.
Tom Thumb has become spiritualist,
but he is not medium. He's much too
small for o medium. He's hardly half
medium.
The New Haven Register offers q years
subscription to the first person who will
reach the North Pole by balloon. Well
add chrome.
"There is no accounting for tastes"
Nonsense What is the work of book
keeper in an eating house, but account
ing for tastes.
A scientist claims to have discovered
kind of wasp that doesn't sting. He
must have had heap of fun expert
menting before he found it.
Augusta, Georgia, has acquired the
unenviable reputation of being market
for the disposition of human bodies
throughout the South and West.
Puck-"Can you get people out safely
in case of fire?" Manages Haven't
had time to think of that; getting 'em in
is what interests me!"- Puck.
A Chicago girl has sued a man for
$4,000 for hugging her twice. The man
who would hug girl only twice decides
to be mulched in heavy damages.
"No, SIR" said the Texas editor, 81
didn't suppress the story of the Brown
scandal out of regard for Brown. l did
so out of regard for myself. Brown can
fight"
When child cannot answer a ques-
ton, he never says, "Oh, don't bother
me now, I'm busy" Only children of
larger growth deal in such subter-
fuges.
The dentist should be good oarsman.
He is used to pulling in single sculls.-
The Judge. This joke is too thin, be-
cause it is tooth out.--Steubenville
Herald.
The New Orleans Picayune believes
that psalm tunes should be played on an
upright piano. Which suggests that
Masonic music should be played on the
square.
Mr.. Simon Few, who had visited
nearly every habitable place on the face
of the earth, has just died at Leaven-
worth, Kansas. And yet he had Few
mournerS.
Hens scratch up flower beds only
when they are barefooted. 1t is strange
no one has ever thought to go into the
garden and "shoo" the hens to keep them
from doing damage.
They have found king who reigned
in Egypt more than a century before
Abraham. He's dead He's mummy.
He's not pretty mummy now, but pretty
mum he is, now.
One man will suggest something as
worthy of the charities of the charitable,
and two other men will abuse everybody
who does not assist the enterprise. This
is public opinion.
A Clearfield paper stated the other day
that it was always glad to see people on
business, and that very morning a man
with club strobe in and said he had
business with the editor. The editor at
once replied that he was out.
During the recent Arkansas State Fair
at Little Rock, Sam Morrow, (colored),
of Washington county, took the first
premium on wheat. The wheat was o
splendid white variety, and weighed
nearly IS pounds to the bushel.
In the fifteen years since the war the
South has raised nearly 10000 900 bales
more cotton than she did during the last
fifteen years of slavery. This addition
was worth about 5000, 900 900. Almost
enough to compensate them for the loss
of their slaves.
The princess of Wales" hose, which
are beginning to be introduced to this
country, are of black or brown silk, in
which are inserted tiny blocks, consist
ing of broken checks of red and dark
green; these are the colors of the Prince
of Wales" plaid, said to have been in
vented by him and used by the Princess
for herself and children.
1t is said in English papers that one
of the most influential causes of the de-
preston in the barley market in that
country grows out of the fact that rice
is largely substituted by brewers in the
manufacture of beer. In consequence
Of this while there in considerable in