Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1882-12-07

wretched husband. was that $50 far as
comfort goes, might Just as well have
been sold for canal-boat horse: for
while am congratulate on the gem |
I possess, | am made sensible Of the bur
den il involves OF course this re-
markable letter was everywhere regard
ed as highly entertaining production.
and was made the sport of facetious
paragraphsts all over the country.
In matters of controversy, however,
the women usually has the best OF it.
| A witty old author advises men to avoid
arguments with ladies. because in spin
ming yarns among silks and saiins. u
man is sure to be worsted and twisted:
and when a man is worsted and twisted.
he may consider himself wound up.
The above retort might be matched by
dozen others culled from domestic
controversy, in which the woman has
come off triumphant. Really, my
dear" said friend of ours to his bet
ter-half. ''you have sadly disappointed
me. l once considered YOU Jewel of a
woman; but you've turned out only
bit of matrimonial pas e.' Then. nv
love. was the reply. console yourself
WIN tbt lh't ..t>At 10 NtiN
sive. and in this case will stick TO YOU
as long as You live See here"
said a fault-fnding husband; 1--WE must
have things arranged in this house so
that we shall know where everything is
kept" with all nv heart" sweetlv
answered his wife; land let US begin
with your late hours. my love- should
dearly love to know where thev are
kept He let things run on as usual.
1t is not often, however. that one comes
across such crushing retort as that
which a Sheffield husband received
from his wife the other day. through
the medium of the public press He
advertised in one of the local Journals
that he. Thomas A, would no long
er be answerable for the debts incurred
by his wife, who seems to have been a
truly amiable creature. if one NAV
Judge from the advertisement which
she published next day in reply: This
is to notify that |, Elizabeth A. am
able to pay all my own debts, now that
l have got shut of Tommy"
Matrimonial dissension now and again
eliminates in the flight of one or other
of the contending par les. a French
man. living in Louisiana, amused his
neighbors by telling them how. when
his wife deserted him in this way. he
got her back without further trouble
Did l run after her and beg her to
come back?' he dramatically asked.
mo; l did not run after her zhust
publish in re papaire Eat | have drawn
fifty tousand dollaire in re lottery, and
no ha,l-
There may even be some husbands,
however. who would rather encourage
than seek to combat or deprecate such
determination on the part OF their
wives. An ancient epigram tells us of
"a scholar newly enterel marriage
life" who, following his study, did 1
offend his wife" The lady bitterly 4
complains that her lord should love his .
books more than her society AMI wishes 7
she could be transformed into book /
such as he loved 10 read.
." Husband tquoth sheD, what books form 4
should take?
Marry said hel, 'twere best an almanake,
The reason wherefore do wish thee so
Is. every year we have new. you know.
The green-eyed monster is respons: ;
BILE for much coniugal misery. an ;:cal-
Ousy, as everybody knows, is often at
fault. finding constant proof Of its sus
piclons in the most innocent circum-
stances. Here is an amusing case in
point. A French lady who was jealous
of her husband, determined to watch
his movements. One day. wien he told
her he was going to Versailles, she fol-
lowed him, keeping him in sight until
she missed him in a passage lea ling to
the railway station. Looking about her
for few minutes, she saw man COM
ing out of a glove-shop with rather
overdressed LAZY. Blinded with rage
AMI jealousy. she fancied it was her
hushanl and without naIlsinn for a