The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-12-20

A Kentucky man D0aS1 OF pau VI wv
made in 1914. Immortal soles u fonkers
Statesman.
When Macbeth's witches sang, "Double,
double. toll and trouble" 1t 10 supposed
they had reference to twins NorrtSfoion
Herald.
II does not require merit to make money.
Rumors gain currency though they are
not worth repeating. -New orleans T'c0'
ylne.
The rising young man Of the future Is
one who will be willing to Jump mp ana
build the morning fres.-New orleans
Picaylne. 4a..
II you want an example OF thorough
non. partlsanship, take the members OF =
brass band during the campaign. -Lo~e"
Citizen.
The Use of iron cannot increase the run
ming qualities Of a dog, but tin can
Rockland Courier Gazette.
The prophets ought to be predicting the
failure OF the ice crop, peach crop, on
something. Some people seem to fear they
will be forgotten II they are not continually
lying.-New Orleans Picayune.
II Is said that every cold wave has q
fountain head. The object should be TO
find that fountain-head and put up dozen
coal stoves around it.-Detroit Free Press.
Baltimore claims to have the champion
mean man. She can have him; we've got
enough second-rate ones up here to last Tor
some time.-LO,ceH Courier.
Notes of coincidence, and those pleading
poverty and begging, are now written OIL
the fashionable ragged-edged paper, which
is very appropriate. -Neo Orleans Plea
ytne.
The man who got mad and stopped his
paper Yesterday reserves the right to pur-
chase from the newsdealers or the boys
on the street at five cents per copy.-LoceH
Citizen.
"In choosing Wife" says an exchange,
4" be governed by her chin" The worst OF
IL Is that after choosing wife one Is apt to
keep on being governed in the same way
Boston Saturday Evening Gazette.
Whoever doubts that the newspapers
have mission should enter car and see
how useful they are to the men when fat
woman with big basket Is looking around
for seat. -Lo,ceN Coarier.
Charity should begin to hum when cold
weather comes on. Money put into coal
for poor widow In the next block will 90
further than that handed to a long-halred
disciple for heather in Airica.-hec Or
leans Picdylne. patience says. a" Exactly
SOL
4 child born In Cincinnati has neither
skull nor brain, its head being as transpa-
rent as jelly 1t il said to bear striking
to an English aesthetic, and
when the poor child grows up it will be
good for nothing but to edit greenback
NOrrist0rn Herald.
"Then you don't think the Langtry so
very beautiful" queried she OF Augustus
rs they enjoyed the flrelight together.
" Not so very beautiful, no. Not 50 hand
some as 'As who did you say?"
" As-as" A sudden glance and tabeauX.
Boston Globe.
Ii an artist paints picture at oil true to
life he is accused by the critics OF a brutal
OF nature; il he idealizes they
viii find fault with hun for not being nat
ural. All OF which would seem to show
that it il easier to criticiss than to paint
Boston Transcript.
The dol,-baby OF our grandmothers has
eyoluted into being" that creeps, cries,
and sings. As long rs it doesn't get awake
ut midnight and yowl with the collie or
Group, or something that way, and compel
a man to run half mile for doctor, the
life of the inventor OF the toy is saie-bu
not too safe. NOrriStOlcn Herald.
a London paper speaks Of an umbrella
which "has had the honor 10 take the
fancy OF II. X. II. the Prince OF Wales"
iievings low hextrawdnry haggernizing
What an hoverpowering honor, and to an
umble umbrella. But, hold
this umbrella is no common parachute, for
it has San ebony crutch handle, along
which a silver lion is sprawing. Gun
ningly followed out in this crutch Is
steel-lined receptacle for matches and
cigarettes" Here's a chance for the
youths OF America TO
ape III. II. H., and no doubt they will be
quick to seize it, Boston Transcript. ITO
the great delight OF the cigarette trade.l
Il am going to send my boy to your
gallery to have his picture taken" said
to a photographer. "Think YOU
can get along without me2"
"Well, should say So" was the conf
dent reioinder.
PPM not so sure OF that. You'll find him
n tough customer to manage; however"
he added rellectiyely, 81 can put the di-
rections on the bottle" and he babe the
puzzled photographer good-day.
In due time the druggists son, 4 mis-
chieyOus youngster, visited the photo
graph-galery, and the artist found him
indeed hard to manage. He exhausted all
the known devices for keeping the boy
quiet. and invented host OF new ones;
but all in vain. Finally he remembered
the apothecary's odd remark about the di-
rections, and upon inspection OF the boy he
discovered pasted upon the back OF his
neck the legend, "To be well shaken be-
fore TAKEN" Acting at once and yigor-
Olsly upon the suggestion, he succeeded in
the boy and obtaining pie
ture.- Cincinnati Saturday Night.
About the lst OF October 4 pioneer In
one OF the northern counties OF Wiscon-
sin was seated on log In front Of his
cabin, waiting for his every other-day
shake OF the ague to come along. when a
covered wagon drove up. 1t contained
man and his wife, and Il few articles Of
furniture, and they were looking for a
piece OF land on which to squat. 1t was
nip and tuck which was the meanest-look-
ing man. Both were ragged, down in the
mouth, and had chills and fever as regu-
larly as sunrise. and neither one had made
a cent In the last ten years. 1t was also a
pretty even thing between the women.
One was cross-eyed, and the other had n
broken nose. One was almost toothless,
and the other had stiff knee. One
rhewed slippery-elm and took snuff, and
the other smoked plug-robacco in clay
pipe.
stranger" remarked the settler, after |
the four had looked each other over, 81
hoyan,t anv fo1bar for oar boseos ,,o,h;~,.