The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1882-04-20
News and Gossip.

Would it be vulgar to call soothine
syrup kid.napper?
The latest novelties In canned goods
are frogs and sweet potatoes.
| = A man caunct smoke n cigar too
shors unless he smokes it too long.
| - A boil in the kettle is worth two on
the nose. A corn on the ear Is worth
two IN the toes.
| 589,5l4 gallons of corn vhiskey
Were made (eccording to law) ia North
Carolina in 1881. '
OF course amoking is worse than
cnewing, FOR the old adage says, "of two
Five thousand Cl.icagoans under.
took to send valentines through the post
office without stamps
| = A couple recently divorced in Los
Angeles, CAL, repented, mado up. and
were remarked the next day.
= The City Council of CHATTANOOGA
Tenn. haa issued en- order for the de.
struction of the English sparrows.
ooh, Martha; do look at that flvabv
young man reclining against the lamp.
post there. Isn't he soul. full ?n ssNo
dear; he is beer-ful, think" was the
answer.
-, VIM. Walton Of Kentucky, has do.
| cided TO visit the capital of every nation
on the globe, bearing q United States
flag, and earning days wages In each
| of those cities.
= The residence and outbuildings On
plantation of G. NJ. Ames. in Spartan.
burg County, were DESTROYED by fire on
the first instant. Loss $500. No in.
surance. Incondiary.
- pr. J. L. Westmoreland, of Green.
| vile, has recovered a verdict against the
Columbia and Greenville Railroad for
$500 Ter damages sustained by an ncci.
dent on that road in January, 1881.
= A cynical writer saws: torake a
company of boys chasing butterflies, put
long. tailed coats Or the boys, and turn
the butterflies into doiisrs, and you hnv,
beautiful panorama of sae world"
Eugene V. Glad, of Philadelphia,
las been arrested for mutilating coin,
His plan was to take So gold piece. saw
OF the top, take out about S240 worth
of gold, and gil the cavity with platinum.
""b. .heu, VIC eau al tue IluG mere,
said boarding house keeper to a boarder
who was taking Off the outer norton Of
piece of cheese. "All right" replied
the boarder, "I'm cutting this OF for
you."
:. Miss Julia Jackson, the daughter
OF Stonewall Jackson, has Will OF i,er
own; Remember" she once said TO her
mother haughtily, "that am Jackson"
fes," said Mrs. Jackson, land am
your mother"
DO you Pretend to have as good q
Judgme.. as hRve?" exclaimed an
enraged wife to her husband. "WeII.
no." ne replied slowly, 'our choice OF
partners for life shows that my Judgment
is not to be compared with yours"
Carlyle being onre aaked the differ.
ence between . natural fool and an edu.
Gated fool, replied, "Just about tho iiE.
terence between you and me, suspect"
Ihe questioner was never able to deter.
mine which kind Of fool he was
ELLA, is your father at bona 2"
said bashful lover to his ave
-! want to propose something to him.
mo, Clarence, papa is not at home, but
am. Couldn't you propose to me Just
as wel?" And he did, with perfect
success.
THE sentence of the court is," sa;d
Judge Porter, o popular Irish magistrate,
TO notorious drunkard, "that you ba
confined in Jail for tho longest period the
law ailoWg; and hope you will spend
your time in cursing whisky II viii,
sir; and Porter too"
= The will of Nine Autran. widow of
the French poet, has just been opened az
Marseiles. Nine. Autran, who was
twice married, desires in this document
that her heart be buried with NJ. Autran.
but that the rest of her body should be
laid to rest in the tomb of her first hus.
band, an American, named Fitch.
- Vermont matchmaker has en-
riched the world with ~ clock which
acts out the assassination Of President
Garfield" The trains run into the depot.
Guiteau fires his shot, the President is
carried of, clergyman enters reading
tho funeral service, and finally the assas.
sin is worked off with punctuaiity and
J dispatch.
=. Among the numerous pension bills
passed by the House is oEe granting O
pension to the aged mother of Jennie
| " ouSS 0AiSu ou Tie Uelu OF DutLt0 at
Gettysburg. She had gone to the field TO
take care of her betrothed, young ser.
geant, who was fatally wounded, and also
to assist in the care of other goldierp. and
was shot while baking bread for tho SOL
diers during the battle.
= In the matter of the South Carolina
cases, which Mr.. Benny Brewster pre-.
tends to have so strong desire to push
through in disinterested manner, there
is little to say yet The proceedings thus
far have developed but one thing, and
that Is, that the United States govern.
ment officers are displaying q strangely
tyrannical spirit in refusing to allow the
accused persons the time which thew ask
for to prepare their cases in.-AfLanta
Constitution.
= A circus agent visited the assassin
Guiteau in his cell at Washington ie;i
recently and purchased two fuits Of
clothes from him. Fo- the suit \ I'm bv
Guiteau Mt the time he shot the .'resi.
Gent $3.50 was paid. For .he s::::s sngn
by Guiteau during his trial, aud when
Jones shot him, the agent paid $IOO.
Guiteau did not hesitate to part with bis
clothing, and when informed that the
suits were to be exhibited on plaster CASTS
of himself, now being made for the circus
proprietor, he was much elated. re
tickled his vanity, and the chances aro
| that III the aOonf T. 4 baav, 4