The Osceola times., 1882-10-07
ALL SORTS OF PARAGRAPHS.
Why not spell it clambache?

Why not spell it clambache?
All the advice to young men begins
with, "Get married"
Russia has increased in population A.
100000 within the last twelve years.
1t isalways the height of the season at
the North Pole.
Collisions at sea, like panics at Brigh-
ton, are often caused by wild steers.
The man who boasts of his ancestral
timber may be safely set down as a stick.
''Pa has one hundred and seventy hors-
es and only one me-" said little girl OF
Iowa.
Onion juice is good for mosquito bites,
but nothing has yet been discovered that
is good for onion juice.
Never insult milkman by asking him
what watering place he is going to this
summer.
The State of Georgia will send about
5000 worth of watermelons North this
season.
An Auburn, N. Y, minister is praying
for politicians, whom he considers the
lowest class of people in society.
Very high heels and pointed toe shoes
render it somewhat difficult for the girl
of the period to get about.
A bare foot is a good tacks collector;
but the owner groans as the iron enters
his soul.
No, Angelina, the National Lancers are
not an association of surgeons. The Ian
GERS never draw blood dearest.
When man prefaces his conversation
with, "Now know this isn't any of my
business" you may be pretty sure that it
isn't.
A Denver alderman spells water with
two is. He doubtless thinks it better
to have too much st" in his water than
too much water in his 't"
Atlanta is looking up. A lady of that
city has just had the moral courage to Or
der a five hundred dollar dress from
Worth.
The other night an amateur prize-fght-
er was killed by mule in Fayetteville,
Ark. Barnum wants the mule, but the
people of the town are unwilling to part
with him.
Andrew Harster died suddenly a short
time ago at Easton, Pa, aged ninety years,
leaving an estate valued at $250,000 He
had never used the railway, and never
seen steamboat.
The people of Boston are using twenty
five per cent. more gas now than year
ago, The Boston Gas Light Company is
burning one hundred tons of coal per day,
against eighty at this time last year
Eleven school boys in Genessee walked
to Niagara Falls, Aug. 4, 1882, and agreed
to meet there again, ifliving, in fiftyyears.
Seven of them kept the promise.
As a matter of seasonable intelligence,
it is reported that New Workers are max
ing pepper out of old shoes roasted and
ground fine.
A desperate man in Bloomington, ILL.,,
advertises for "cook good or bad, with
or without recommendation to remain
tor life or only few months" He fur
ther comedies that "the family will be
docile and obedient."
The editor of the Norfold, Va, Land
mark, who has responded to several calls
to the field of honor, advocates the pas
sage of an act of the Assembly command
ing the sheriff to conduct each duel at
short range, and to keep itur until a fatal
ending is secured.
"How are the supplies, Dinah?" asked
gentleman of his colored cook, Just be-
| fore starting down town. "Well, sab" re-
sponded the sable mistress of the kitchen,
81 tink dah is combustibles enough to
last till tomorrow"
A Philadelphia tramp started on his
annual tour some time ago, but has re-
turned in disgust. He says that every
where he went he was met by frightfll
signs of "IIelp Wanted"
Some enthusiastic Scots are earnestly
proposing the establishment of bagpipe
band on large scale. Either Edinburgh
or Glasgow may be selected as the place
for trying the experiment.
New York will soon be made up of
shops, public buildings, private palaces,
apartment houses, and tenement houses.
No place left for single homes for people
of moderate means, says the Mail and
Express.