Arizona weekly citizen., 1882-11-05
BEWARE of Democratic tricks.
RrPIifirS.

A spiritless Prohibitionist never smiles.
 The father of twin babes needs no alarm clock.
 Political broth shows a great deal of scum on the surface.
 Time IS represented as woman by a French artist who knows how rapid are tue females of France.
 History informs us that the great Napoleon was fond of pie. Now We are sure he never was a printer.
 The difference m running for Con- gress and getting there Is ascertained by the candidate who gets left.
 Be careful how you make fun of pe- culIar looking people. The English nObleman Is here in large quantities all sorts and sizes.
 The newest styles ia earrings is min iature lanterns. Some girls atr hound to let their light shine even if it takes an ear to do 1t.
 Philadelphia is so fond of some of its residents that when they leave of their own free will and accord they are brought back by the detectives will and accord.
 The New Haven Register smiles idiot ic4lly as 1t asserts that ''the Democratic parly IS in its eternal youth" Which is why 1t IS always so 'fresh,'
 When an HlinoIs man loses the key of his safe he sends to the State Peniten- tiary and bDrrOws a burglar for a few mIUntes. This Is cheaper than buying a new key.
 Although the Mayor of Chicago is not Q bigamist, he says: "I am welded tO my city as much as am to my wife" The next election will probably secure him an unsolicited diyorce.-N. !. Com. Adv.
 A Cherokee Indian is editing a paper in Fayetteville, Arkansas. As his trusty rifle stands Ill the corner of his sanctum 1t Is inferred that he knows all about "leaded matter" and keeps a number of 'slugs' on hand.
 A great many amusing things have been said about a5thetics and art, but the most absurd Is that peTpetrated by the Providence Star to the effect that "the esthetes will allow that stork to stand on the other leg this winter.
 As a great orator who maiestIcally approaches the peroration finds with ease the words to express hIs grand thoughts, so does the man who in the dark tumble to the emergency. There is a COW in Pennsylvania that goes limping through life with a wooden leg. What bonanza the owner would have 1T could turn that leg into Q pump and make the owner stand m a stream of water while he was milk ing.-N. '. Com. Adv. Nothing like understanding human nature. A Southern farmer placed his hencoOp right in the middle of his watermelon patch, and every dark y ! that came proving around debated with himself until daylight as to which be should tackle.-BOs. Star. Scene in Court: "NOw, Mrs. Blank ! you say that on that day, at noon, you SAW a woman ride past your house at a | furious space, and you have given us a | detaIled description of her costume. | Please tell us what was the color of the ! horse" "I do not remember "Well was the woman white or blackg' "l ! did not notice; she went so fast that only had time to see how she was ! dressed. Phil. News. Squire Jackson's cat had been disap- pointed in love, and sat upon the back | yard fence bewailing its fate Tn accents | far from musical. A neighbor, who ! happened to be passing at the time, heard the sounds, and pausing at the front gate observed, in a cheerful, con- gratulatory way to the Squire, who was seated at the window reading his paper: "Glad to know that your wlfe's cold Is leaving Der. Her voice appears to be much clearer this morning."
 An exchange imparts the information that when watermelon begins to ripen q sort of scale appears on the outside, and that a careful observer can detect a ripe watermelon any time by looking carefully. This will be of no use, how | ever, to those who are in a great hurry to pick ont few ripe melors-as If a boy should stop in the middle of a melon patch on n dark night to strike a match and hunt for scales on water. melon. the bull dog would locate him quicker than wink.-Peck's Sun.