Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-12-14
QUITE A RAREY

iAANte1 0NNAhtSNIi= Wiz sTC.UO a
paid him for exercising the devil out of
her by various crosses and mystic mani
festations. This | refused to take.
Ever after that when she heard thunder
she would run as though her heart
would burst, and Apollo himself could
not have checked her on such occasions.
She could not long 1--we in a.world
where thunder was allowed to run at
large. On the Sheney farm she heard
the last peal Of the yengeful enemy.
She ran, turned II commensurate down a
bank six feet high, made a dam with
her own body in a trifling brook and
drowned herself, | never thought Of
any remedy until
IT WAS roc LATE,
when Mrs. NJ. sSid: "Why didn't you
stuff her ears full of cotton:' | paid
Mr.. G. for hauling her away, and as
he engaged to haul her off so that neither
man nor beast might sniff her e~ffluvia
(for it was feared by some she might
have had the glanders) he may be haul
ing her yet for all that know.
But why prolong the doleful story.
| had other animals that | raised to ma
turity but / could never sell one for what
| gave for it the day | separated it
cruelty enough from the mothers milk.
And could not inyert the processes of
nature and turn it into a colt again. |
did think that it would be easy for a
mar of my immense erudition on all
sorts of things to become as great as
our modern Abraham's and Jobs as
Funk, or Strain, or Dalrymple. My
plan was perfect on paper anyway.
And there is Charley Snyder, my next
door neighbor. He had but forty acres
and | began with two hundred. But
the winter never devoured the summer
with him. A day or two since he told
me he had one hundred and sixty acres
we'll fenced and improved and was going
to buy more. | read that Cain was a
"%tiller of the ground" and considering
how was prosecuted by fate and Provi-
dcnce in following his profession
should be tempted to believe | must
have been taken, or mistaken, for
ALINEAL DESCENDANT
of that vagabond. For this reason | am
sincerely thankful for Noah's flood an
event which has rendered such a pater-
nifty impossible.
Now | have sold my farm and nv
last COW, to the undying grief of Mrs.
NJ. who never relished milk till the COW
had gone forever; and, like poor Uncle
Ned, have ''laid down the shovel and
the hoe and spread in your columns
"what know about farming" for the
guidance and instruction of posteritv.
b~equeathing to the honorable ~cultiva-
tors of the earth the benefit of my cx-
pcriments and example.
You flatter me that this extensive ex-
perience and participation in rural pur-
80
suits and employments eminently quail
Ties me to instruct your readers how TO
build roads and bridges and the great
advantage to accrue therefrom. You
suggest that
IF SHOULD ACCEPT II OFFICE
of roadmaster or street commissioner
IN the growing emporium Of Lancaster
we should soon have thoroughfares so
smooth, 50 perfect, that the wayfaring
man, though afoot, should not err
therein, What common men would re-
gard as miracles you think would be
but 4 holiday feat for me. But, I'm
more cautious than | was in DAYS of
yorc. | must have precedents 10 guide
me. In culling over the pages of his
tory. ancient and modern. | only find
one case in point. There was Epamin-
oadoss the Theban, the most renowned
general, the most patriotic citizen of all
Greece in his day. For some reason or
other, perhaps by one of those
SECRET MONITIoNS
Of Providence, that gives a new turn to
human affairs it occurred to the The
bans that he was the very mar for street
superintendent, or road master. l for
got what the name of the office was
then. He was appointed and forthwith
he shed such lustre around the office
that the modest Of the Greeks stroYe 10
be his successors, and in such good re-
pair was the streets kept thereafter, that
history does not show that anybody's
leg was broken or shins scratched by a
t%reacherous plank till the insulted
Alexander made a bonfire of the whole
concern. And what honors would clus-
ter around that position Of | should once
~aggrandize and glorify it. Would we
not lead that high official thereafter
through the highways of this metropolis