davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
A NEWSPAPER NOTICE.

Are You the edltor?' said man
who Wore a conciliatory smile and dyed
beard, as he took seat in our Office.
We acknowledged that at present We
served and instructed the public in that
capacity, and to prove our assertion we
showed him the blisters made on orr
hafyds by our exertions III operating the
archimedean lever that moves the world.
Well, 1 want you to surprise me by
flattoring personal notice III your pa
per. I'm going to run for constable in
the Eighth ward, and | want something
neat III the way Of send-oH."
"Our columns are always open to al
vance the best interests of the public,
but we shall first expect You to surprise
US with pecunjary compensation, not
necessarily Cor pQbliea5ion, but merely
as = p!e3se Of sssst fssifis."
an pay. a man can't expect to be
surprised without paying for it in ad
vance, What have you got?'
F." We can accommodate you with any
kind OF a personal notice, from cheap
electro plated biography 20 an eighteen
carat obituary, and at scale OF prices
varying accorlingt TO the amount Of strain
'' o''i Go'''"l'', anu ''-'J - t 80
Now. how would you like this? 1t Is Il
neat little PIE EapAacilte gen. amt vii
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Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

THE Epgjacer thinks that the ques-
ton of the actual pressure of the wind
. upon railroad structures is still I'M
touched, and that the first step to the
solution OF the complex problems in
volyed win be the Inauguration of an ex-
tensive and systematic series of expert
ments On the comparative resistances OF
different shaped bridge members, and
on the influence of the shelter afforded
by the wiudward girder on the other ex-
posed surfaces.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
PLEASANTRLES.
DocroRs live by pillage.
CALIFORNIA Is raisin' raisins.

DocroRs live by pillage.
California Is raisin' raisins.
A HEAITH-aIvING number-Qlinine.
The man who had SO elastic a step
wore rubbers.
How A man decides how he will build
his house--By lot.
THE chiropolist first dates from WILL
lam the Cosncurer.
The term Mormon means the NOR
mon.y you have the more wives you can
be sealed to.
THE man who hesitates is lost. That
is why Charlie Ross hesitates about
coming back.
In the voyage OF life every man is
provided with q skull, with which to
padsle dis own casiloa. '
WIcKrp New York men want to DO
buried in Greenwood, because it won't
burn 50 quickly as the dry.
DARWIN says: "Ian, only can
whistle" Darwin certainly nevar lived
anywhere near railroad crossing.
A PROCESSION of men passed through
the Bowery and were an honr passing
given point. The gwen point WAS sa-
loon.
WHATEVER you have to do, do it with
your might. Many lawyer has made
his fortune By simply working with a
WILL
QUEEN VIcTonTA's children stand IN
great awe Of their regal mamma. No
wonder; she is SO much great awe than
they.
"ALwAys pay as you GO" said an old
man to hisnephew. but, uncle, suppose
have nothing to pay with ?" "l Then
don't 60
ado TRY and talk little common
sense" said young lady to her visitor.
"Ab, but wouldn't that be taking an
unfair advantage of you?"
WHAT swindlers there are in college
business. An institution in tits State
which clei1a3 to Ii young men for the
ministry doesn't p,.n single cfoquet
set.
WuosoEvER shall sInito thee on thy
right cAeek, turn 10 him the other aiso,'
is biblical expression. In modern
parlauca it is termed ga reversible
Gulf,
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
LOST By A POINT.

The teacher arose Immediately aftei
he called the school to order. There
was look Of pain on his gentle face and
he seemed to be feeling Tor an apple III
his coat-tail pockets, but he was not.
He was feeling for something, bat It was
not an apple, and it was not in his
pocket. He glanced around the school,
and every face was either oblivious or
mischievous, except Walter Cranes.
And Walter Cranes face, bent over Lis
grammar, hadsuch a profoundly studious
expression, it was SO sublimely free from
guilt, it was so angelically innocent,
the teacher called him to the big desk,
and, as Walters wondering eyebrows
arched themselves into silent but ex-
pressive Interrogation points, the teaeh-
er handleda long switch and said: Yes,
Walter, yes; it was very neatly done,
and now if you viii just stand out for
one minute / will show you just about
where that pin caught me-
And he showed lin, not once hut
many times, to the great disgust of
stndious Walter Crane and the infinite
/ delight Of all the rest OF the school, and
more especially big Sammy johnson.
| Did Walter Crane really put the pin In
the teachers char, children ~, 80.
| indeed, and truly he didn'tknow a thing
about it. 1t was big Sammy johnson,
who grinned and rubbed his hands every
/ time Walter "hollered, who did it.
| Thus We see that sometimes, in the
study Of physiognonsy, the wisest taachcl
will, as Herodotus observes, bite of
more than he can chaw. '-Burssagtos'
i Ha,0k-Eae.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
HOW MILTON CAME TO WRITE
pa.syDyyF YrI:sYyEpu

PARADISE REG4FNED."
1t was at the time of the great plague
that the poet of Paradise Lost" tooh
up his abode at Chalfont, and it was
through the fundamentally of COM
mon friend of his and William PENIS
that this retreat was selected. Thomas
Ellwood, the Quaker, had made Milton's
acquaintance in London some years be-
fore, when hunted out of house and
home by the Bucks Justices, and read
Latin to him in his lodgings in Jewin
street. When the plague grew fierce in
the city the blind poet bethought him
of his one-time secretary, and asked him
to find him some retreat in his neigh
borhood. Ellwood took this "pretty
box" for him and it was here that ne
suggested to him the idea of paradise
Regained." Milton had handed him
the manuscript of paradise Lost" to
pass his judgment on. 81 pleasantly
said TO him." Eilwood relates in his
"Life," Thou hast said much here of
paradise lost, but what hast thou to say
OF paradise found?' He made me no
answer, but sat some time in muse
then broke off that discourse and fell
upon another subject. After the sick.
ness was over, and the city well cleaned,
he returned thither; and when after.
ward / went to wait on him there he
showed me his second poem, called
Paradise Regained,' and in pleasant
tone said to me, This is owing to you,
for you put it into my head by the
question you put to me at Chalfont,
which before had not thought Of -
Alfred r. Story, in Ha,per's Magazine.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
PROFESSION OF JOURNALISM.

An a college commencement dinner,
Me- Y. L. White, editor of the Provi-
dssse CIR. l. } Fress, was called upon to
srA1k for the profession of journalism.
He said, in substance: 81 have been
ashSd to say q word for profession
which does not need speaking for the
press, like the poor, you have always
witn you, and it needs no word from me
to htroduce it. The profession of Jour
naag1a has grown up almost within the
memory of those present. 1t is only
few Years ago that newspapers were not
thaspcwer that they arc to-day. Among
tl,A influences tending to change the
chsshcter of journalism and to elevate
il Its present high standard, that OF
flEcolleges OF the country and its insti-
III Nsaf learning is one ei the strong
ast.
"The Importance of the influence Of the
profession of journalism leads to the
consideration OF the responsibility of the
journalist. There is no other class Of
professional men on whom go great re-
sponsihility rests. The duty of the
journalist to-day is not only to present
to the world mirror of events, to hold
up a record of contemporaneous history,
but also TO present this record in such
way that the proper lesson may be
drawn from it. After midnight, within
IN hour Of the time when the paper
gees to press the editor hears for the
first time Of some event of great national
importance on the spur of the moment,
without time for rofcetion, he must pre-
sent it to tie world in his editorial in
such p way as will lead his readers to
look upon it in the right and proper
light When we consider these things
We cannot overestimate the responsible
ity which rests upon him.
"Ihe great newspaper to-day isnot tho
mouth piece Of politicians, or intended
TO promote the ambitions OF single men
VINO cbutfDl them. AS CLASS, llo
newspapers Of to-day are Independent,
owned and controlled by men who have
no special ambition of their own, and
who are hence able better to Judge
events. The public service of this
country is improving daily, and this fact
is due, 10 great extent, to the exist
ence of q free and Independent press.
q would say to-day to those young
men who propose to enter journalism
you cannot place too high an estimate
upon the calling you have chosen. Enter
it with the idea of work. Journalism
to-day demands devotion such as no
other profession requires. OF those
who enter it not more than one-fourth
continue to the end. The drudgery,
the long hours, the incessant demands
81 journalism are too great for many to
bear. But to him who enters ii able
and prepared to undergo the necessary
strain and toll tho possibilities of re-
ward are great"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Ayers Hair yigor Is safe, agree
able and beneficial. 1t is the most
elegant, and its effects are very last
ing, making it the most ccoroniioal
oi toilet preparations. BY its use
ladies' can keep their hair abundant
a.ad natural IN color, l,istre, and
texture.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

A CONNECTICUT pastor declined an adj
dition of 500 to his salary, for the rea-
son. among others, that the hardest
part of his labors heretofore had been
the collection of his salary, and it would
kill him to try to collect 800 more.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
nov TSDf4N GTRLs ARE C0UR

In the evening the soldiers, seated
with the warriors in their wigwams,
We're placed in rows. with the sunaws
sitting opposite the male portion of the
party. IN this position the company
entertained themselves by indulging in
rude and picturesque form of Indian
courtship. The soldiers, when the
women were not looking, would pelt
them with small pebbles or little kernels
of corn. The squaws threw the pebbles
or corn sway disdainfully. The unlncky
fellow who threw it was thereby ill.,
formed that the girl would have nothing
of his suit and that his case was hope
less. II the girl looked lingering at the
pebble and did not throw it away, but
retained 1t, then the person who threw
was to understand that the girl wished
time to consider his suit, but that he
had still cause for hope. But if she
threw the pebble or kernel directly
back, then his suit was successful and
she accepted him. Western corrc$poa-
dent.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
Highly E..seens ed .

The youthful color and d rich lus-
tire are restored to faded or gray
hair by the use Of tarAers Hair
Balsam, harmless dressing highly
esteemed for its perfume and purity
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

AT the police headquarters in Paris a
very mature lady is called up as witness.
The President "Your age?" The
lady, with hesitation Thirty nine
years, sir. Tho President, benevo-
lently Have little courage, my dear
lady--go on.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

The thoughts OF worldly men are for
ever regulated by moral law OF grayi-
tation, which, like the physical one,
holds them down 20 EARTH The bright
glory of Jay, ana the silen. wonders of
q st,tr-lit light, appeal 10 their minds in
VAN. TjIera are no signs in the sun or
i'll the moon, or ia the stars, for Their
reading ihey are like some wise mEn,
who, learning to know each planet by its
Latin name, have quite forgotten such
small heavenly cons citations as Charity,
Forhcatanee. Universal Love aud Mercy,
although obey shine by night and day so
brightly that the blind may sec them;
and who, looking upward at the spangled
sky, see nothing there but the reflection
Of their own great wisdom and book
learning. Ii is curious to imagine these
people Of the world, busy in thought,
turning thosr eyes toward the countless
spheres taat shine above us, and making
them reject the only images their minds
contain. The man who lives but in the
breath of Princes has nothing in his
sight but stars for courtiers' breasts
That envious man beholds his neigh
bors' hcnors even in the sky; to the
money hoarder, and the mass of worldly
folk, tie whole great universe above
gIitters with sterling coin, fresh from
the mint, stamped with the sovereign's
head, always coming between them and
heaven, turn where they may. So do
between LIS and our better angels, and
thus brightness is eolipsed. - Charles
Dick6as.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Don gel excited, bot use Cham,
claim 5 Gt,iic, Cholera and Diaf.
rh "a Remedy II will promptly
relieve the most severe attack 81
bowel complaint, and is pleasant
and safe 10 take. Sold by drug
gists,
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

An observer of human nature says !,
al a man is quick-tempered you had
better so to the other side OF the road
until the paroxysm is over. If he is
sullen, go TO the other side Of the street
and stay there.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

q. G. Lauterlnan, druggist, Cedar
Rapids, Ia, says: 81 consider Cham-
beriaia's Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhQea Remedy the best in the mar
ket. An who use it acknowledge
It's superior excellence. Sold by
druggists.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

The Journalist what writes & leaders :"
for dajiy paper IS pre- IS. IS ii tie posi-.
ton, as regards politioA news, OF the
doctor with respect TO disease, or tie
solicitor With respect TO practice; lie
knows Ettla more than the person who
cons,ilts hip. lie may not h,.ps hall of
the ability OF his patient or his client,
but be s1oNs so3ualh;ng, ruen or little,
witch the otler want tn know. 4 ira-
rort&at taies1asn received as ninAt in the
Office d q nselaii.S PAPER roaAy ialis Into
the hands Il ki1d Of corporation. some
one member OF HE staff probably knows
tla question fairly well, has watched tie
events leading up to the event recorded
in tire Telegram for years, has distinct
idea what the news means, aud has
thought out, superhciallv it is true, hat
still with some di,tinctness, what re-
suit such AN occurrence would probably
produce. Long habit enables him to
put his opinion on paper quickly, clear
~ and pleasantly, and he does put it
and if he is even deoently competent his
readers next morning have something
beside news, which increases the value
OF the news to them. That the some
thing may not be MS valuable as the
doctors opinion or the lawyers may ne
true, because the journalists range is
apt to be too wide for equal)y-accurate
and minute knowledge but it has value,
aevertheless. Exchange.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Colonel children in Washington are
not yet admitted to the public schools,
separate schools being provided for
them.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
A. y. SMITH.
Dhi N I'5'-

Is located over Wolfgang's drug
store, Elk Point, where he can he
found in readiness to do any work
in the dental line in q first class
manner Best material used for
making artificial teeth. Anpsthet-
les administered for the painless ex-
traction of teeth, Satisfaction guar
anteed.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Ladies wishing perfume that
combines novelty, delicacy and rich
ness, find Floreston Cologne entiie-
ly satisfactory.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Mr.. BIBLE is running for political
office, and contemporary thinks he
will "end with lamentations. II
elected, he should be judged by his
Acts, and-but it is hard to givea nssz
version to these old puns.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
sa.Ezs eASsssaissAayE

Is the most soothing and healing
xternal remedy ever discovered
Immediately relieves the pain o.
,calds and burns, aud ,cill care hts
eorst ease nig,out se.g. 1t quickly
leals cuts and wounds, thoroughly
leanses and heals all sores, and is !;
,ositive cure for piles, fever-sores
llcers, chaps, chafes poisons, Chi
,lains, scald- head, letter, eruption
nd all itching and irritating diseas
8 of the skin and scalp. 1t is tn
est salve for family use, and is
household faeorite wherever knowh
mall boxes, % cents; large boxe.
80 cents.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

WE take lessons in art literature-a
thousand things: but that high sense of
honor, mans obligation to man, is for
gotten.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

WENDELL PHmLIps says that no re-
form, moral or intellectual, ever came
down from the upper classes of society.
Each and all, says lie, come up
from the protest oi iaartyr and victim.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Two GENTLEMEN were seated upon the
steps OF the house Of one Of them, when
very large woman, with rustic of vol
luminous silks aud roll of voluininous
person, entered the next dwelling.
"Who is that?" asked the visitor.
"That," answered the master of the
house, lis my neighbor Webster's
wife" ooh, Isee," was the ready re-
joinder. Webster's Unabridged. ~
Boston Courier.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

summer has now come. There
fore 90 to Freeman Bros. and get
lawns and Yiquas al reduced rrica .
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

THE Graphic isn't sure that the fell
lows who leave theaters between acts go
out for whisky. Some Of them probably
take gin.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

LITTLE fish have a good notion as to
the commencing of life; they always be-
gin life on small scale.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

9'ha. ticking il the throat and
constant irritation can easily be
cured by the use Of Btggs' Cherry
Cough Syrup, trial bottles 10 cts.
Warranted by al, druggists.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Physician and Surgeon,
ELK POINT, DAKOTA
Calls promptly answered day or might. or
fee in Nor;hup Block. up stairs, formerly occu'
pied by Ii Walworth.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09
AN Arkansas man paid 5000 for mad
stone, let chr bite him as an expert
ment, aud died III six weeks for fact.

THAT HACKING COUGH car
be so quickly cured by Shiloh's
Cure. We guarantee it.
WILL YOU SUFFER with dys-
pepsia and liver complaint? shi-
ot's Vita!izer is guaranteed to cur,
you.
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, made
miserable by that terrible cough
Shiioh's Cure is the remedy for you
For lame back, side or chest Use
Shiloh's Porous Plaster. Price q.
cents. For sale by II. II. BLAIR.
An OIL City boy was recently taken to
the opera house by his uncle. A few
evenings subsequently, there was com
pauy al his h1use, and the unclo and
amt were among the nuab I. lha lad
was relating what he saw, and anon.
other thugs sail: 81 WAS little bit
afraid, coz every time the curtain rolled
down uncle went oul 10 SEQ man, ana
left me alone"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

Salt Like apples and peacllss
svaporatcd splles, raspherr
led cherries and dried fruits y G
kinds are ill rew and titse III
you viii sind II Frcensal ssS
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

A KENTUoKY murderer dug his way
out OF jail with the ribs of SOFAS neas
he had been given for supper.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-09

NEVER fear to bring the sublimest mo-
tive to the smallest duty, and the most
infinite comfort to the smallest trouble.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1882-01-14
SELECTED POETRY.

Vow iu the Autumu's royal prime,
when woods are tinged with AutuInns brush,
When hickory groves bright with gold
And naples wear a bIoOd-red flush
The pop!lrs bear yellow crown,
The oaks their robes Of russet brown
The d0gxOOds their dull purple screen.
AIiN'd with the aIder's sable green,
And where the sparkling rivuIst twines
The grtenery Of lhe willow shines.
The silver fret-wOrk Of the frost
CLEANS the Early morning light
Balmy and brisk the il tost
over salt marsh and upland hight:
Now. zhrIIly sounds the plOveTs' cry
As eircliug down the breeze they fly
OFT have stood, ere dGwning day
Flash'd On the ocean rim its flame,
with ready gun and throbbing pulse
To witch the great fOcks a. they came.
First a mere speck across the sky,
a cloudy shadow. drifting near,
Bgt soon q musical, soft cry?
And soon a myriad wings appear;
They hover down the dusky air,
Like rushing winds they whirI and swooP.
Now sweeping low, now circling nigh,
Then earthward TO their banquet stOOp.
o, brother sportsmen has the earth
Such thrilling charm 70 match with this
A moment with such rapture hIrd,
An hour or such unbounded bliss,
-Lfgac McLeilqI IN F0reSt and Strean.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1882-01-14

j. residing In the Easte-n United States,
pay by enclosing GreeHhRcks United States
Postage stamps or 9uch amount they wish TO pay sna heif
cards VII te inserted above tEe Tor the time pstd fef
IL Business Cards. when rRaR, are
allowed dscorri from these which kr transient
advertisements when paid or charged quarterly.
single copies the ADvEKTIsEE. Cents when charged
F4l,seu Gents; BY the dozen Ous Dollar.