Connecticut western news., 1882-11-01
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WIT AND WISDOM.
NovEMBER 30-Autumn leaves.

NOVEMDER 0U-Autuuu loaNSSs
 How to tell chalk from cheese-Un- dertake to make cheese out of New York milk.
 A pIEoE of steel is a good deal like msn-when you get 1t red-hot 1t loses it's temper.
 THE temperance editor of the Salem Sunbeam defines bar to be a "thing on which there is little or no water"
 WHEN you fret and fume at the petty ills of life, remember that the wheels which 20 round without breaking last longest.
 IF we could only make the world think as much of us as we think ot ourselves, we should then be properly appreciated.
 THE great trouble with Arabi Boy was that he set out to make running fight of it, and stopped when he was just about two thirds through.
 THIS is wonderfully good proverb; GA man can always walk farthest when he has hold of horses bridle" ana so knows that he can ride when he wishes to.
 A MARRIED lady declined to tell 6 maiden sister any of her troubles, say ing: "Where ignorance is bliss 'tis folly to be wise." "Yes," replied the sister, "and I've come to the conclusion that when singleness is bliss 'tis folly to be wives."
 WE are willing to take certain amount of stock in newspaper accounts
 of Western cyclones, but when an AT
 kansas paper tells about a zephyr car
 rying bed-quilt sixty-one miles, ana
 then going back for the sheet, we anu
 there.
 WE read frequently of some person
 whose hair has turned white in single , night, through grief or fear, but the white haired man who goes into bar Der shop and comes out in half an hour with hair and whiskers black as
 rayen's wing never gets line in the pa- , Cincinnati Gazette "WE1n, Tom," said blacksmith to his apprentice, "you have been with me now three months, and have seen all the different points in our trade; wish to give you your choice of work for a
 while" "Thank'ee, sir." "Well, now | what part of. the business do you like bestp" Shutting up shop and goin' to :. dinner"
 A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN, walking to his , garden, saw his gardener asleep under , an arbor. "What I" says he, "asleep ? instead of at work? You idle dog, you
 are not worthy that the sun should
 shine on you" s'I am truly sensible oi
 my unworthiness, {" answered the man, d "and therefore I laid myself down ID v the shade."
 h YOUNG lover, having heard an item F. of fashionable intelligence, calls upon l. the father of the young lady. Ike e spected sir, " he says, mildly but firmly,
 "you promised me your daughter anc }, you have given her to my hated rival Y e ssVery well, my son, very well. Yor @ had my promise and were happy. hs n had my daughter and was happy. Wha 't more do you want ?"
 DURING & shower one day man car n rying very wet umbrella entered j. hotel to pay call to some one p-stairs. n After placing his umbrella where i 'f might drain, he wrote upon piece o IS paper and pinned to it the sentence Is ssN.B This umbrella belongs to le nan who strikes 250-pound blow y back in 15 minutes" He went his wa. n upstairs, and after an absence or II B. minutes returned to find his umbrella at gone, and Tn it's place note reading T. sP.S.-Umbrella taken by man wn' l. walks 10 miles an hour-won't be bacl V- at all"