The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-05-09
Seuse and Nupse'ase.

Oi crank
Successful men are those who always
mind their own business.
According to Richard Grant White,
''hug" is a word that embraces great
deal.
The sbsent-minded hen is great
trouble to herself. She forgets where
She laid her last egg.
Maxwell says he knows certain
young lady's kiss is sweet because he
gotit from the young lady's lips him.
seIf.
When a mans hair grows long enough
Ia cluster about his shoulders. he either
becomes Texas scout or an Indian
herb doctor.
When girl has heen at school seven
years, and spells yaceinate "vaxinate, "
| is it .be fault of the school system, or
o: the girls systemP
Isn't it q little curious that a man will
denounce marriage as delusion, and
yet eagerly embrace this delusion sec.
ond time when opportunity offers7
A Muscat;ne, Iowa. father is much ex-
ercised TO know how his daughter dis
covered that eating warm maple sugar
makes gentlemen's mustsches scrstchy.
81 think the goose had the advantage
OF you," said lady to an inexpert
boarder who was carving. "Guess it
has, mum-in age" was the withering
retort.
A San francisco man has been arres-
ted for deceiving widow While his
crime IS to be abhorred, it must he ad.
mitted that bis genius commands admi-
rstion.
Happy is the situation OF Toronto,
Canada, where there is nothing more
serious to quarrel about than whether
or not the telephone shall be used upon
The Sabbath.
An Iowa woman wrote to Queen Vic
toris asking her if she intended to wear
hoops the coming summer, and she has
been to the postoffice over twenty times
without receiving a reply.
An Indiana farmer has not washed
himself for forty years, and his neigh
bors won't associate with him. They
think man who goes over six months
without hath is pretty dirty.
Ex-Delegate Hooper, of Utah, is o
Mormon. but not polygamist. He
saws that about two thousand of the
Mormon men are polygamists. The
wealthiest men have dozen wives
A ballet dancer says the Americans
talk more about modes:v and have less
OF it than auv other people on earth
She has probably been dancing to crow
ded houses and noted the rush Tor front
seats.
Black straw broad-brimmed hats,
trimmed with full black ostrich tips and
sarlands OF gay d,wers, l,ng black Jer.
sey gloves, and black silk hose. will
again be worn with summer toilets Of
white or pink.
Dr.. Frank H. Hamilton, of New
York, the principal attending physician
of the late President. says he don't see
why DR.. Bliss shnuli receive nearly
double the amount for his services above
that allowed Dr.. Agnew or himself.
Amelia: "You can talk about your
city fellows. hut give me beau from
the country" Juliet: "And why do
you want country beau. should love
to hear?' Amelia: "Because, sis. he's
very likely to become a husbandman I"
A paper published in Rome SAYS that
King Humbert rises at 6 o'clock everv
morning and takes a short wax. In
Chicago rich man like Hnmbert would
have the cocktail brought to him, and
not go around waking saloon-keepers at
that hour.
Henry Sullivan, a Leadville miner,
put his foot In a large steel hear trap to
see II it would 90 off. 1t went of. So
did Henry's foot. The next time he
touches off bear trap with his foot II
won't hurt him Because he can do it
with bis peg leg.
Scene in the auditorium of a theater:
Actor who has appeared in the first
piecel l-"Gnod evening! May / take the
seat next youp" Lady Certainly; ;
hut don't YOU appear any more tonight P
Actor No." Lady-"Oh, | am so
glad. Pray sit down"
A story is told Of a railroad conductor
who was chosen deacon of a church.
When it became his duty to take up a
collection, he surprised the congrcgs
tion bv starting out with the character
istic ejaculation Tickets, gentlemen -
The contribution that day was large.
A bill has been introduced in Con
gress "to facilitate the transmission of
money nv mail =" This Is doubtless q
good thing. hut what the people of The
boundless West want is some scheme to
get hold of the money in the first place.
The circulation Of il is too sweetly easy.
The First Assistant Pos'rras' er-G Gen.
e,al has solemnly decided that the sane
tity of first.class mail matter must he
held inviolable under any and all cir
cumstances, whether the same he ac-
tually closed or not. This is supposed
to he in the nature of an awful warning
to cunning Post-otfice clerks.
For whatever the Democrats may he
able to accomplish in the Congressional
elections in Ohio next fall they will not
be indebted to the good intentions of
the Republican majority in the General
Assembly. II they get more than four
Congressman it will be on account OF
Republican blunders.
An editor out West announced that
he would cease to publish the big takes
OF game from hunters unless he should
share some of it. The very next dav
he had carted to the door of his resi-
dence dozen blackbirds and dead
mule The next day be wrote: Never
mind the game; notice will be published
as usual"
A law enacted by the Legislature du.
ring its recent session inflicts severe
penalty upon the crime Of slandering
reputable women Another law, passed
during the same session. provides for
the appropriate punishment of kidnap-
ping pimps who enlice young girls from
their homes for unchaste purposes -
These are righteous laws, and show, as
do some other notable acts. that the
Legislature, whatever may have becn It's
faults, has not been negligent Of the