The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-24
STATE LEVY.
WIT AND HBR0R.

~AAAAAOSo 0h CONty ClAA uI lt1bO ACCc1
but nearly everybody has to crawl out
of it.
A New Jersey woman claims to have
been Knocked down and severely injured
by mosquito.
Awag suggested that suitable opening
for many choirs would be, ''Lord, have
mercy on us miserable singers"
$50 dark and yet so light as the
man said when he looked at his short
ton of coal.
countryman, on seeing the yacht
Psyche, is alleged to have exclaimed;
'tP-s-y-c-h-e! Gosh! What away to spell
fisht'
Say, when boy, standing on his
head, looks at his feet, does he look up
or down? Take that to the Smithsonian
institute ard ponder over it
A Florida alligator which was killed
the other day had an empty two-quart
jug il its stomach. Alligators never
stop to measure their drinks.
A Boston widow advertises for bed
room a. least five feet square. She has
become tired of having her feet out in
the hall
Chasing mosquitoes around your room
in your shirt and drawers with wet
towel for raquet is good practice for
lawn tennis.
During thunderstorm out west a
book-canvasser took shelter under tree
and was struck on the cheek by light
ming. The doctors say the lightning
can't live.
Edwin Booth has been guilty of
pun. He says no matter how many
quarrelS over petty jealousies actors may
have, they always ''make up" before
going on the stage.
A hat Irritation is the latest idiocy
a man can wear a hat that doesn't mean
something, and the only way you're safe
is to 90 bareheaded.
They don't have rains out West. A
cloud just saunters up and examines a
town, and then collapses right over it.
Nobody escapes but the newspaper re-
porters and the book agents.
s"Oh, the patriots. the patriotsr' ex-
claimed Oscar Wilde; s'lets shut down
the window and shut off the noise. -
He was in Atlanta and it was the glori-
Gus fourth.
Stationmaster to suspicious-looking
lady (agedD who has just entered COM
partment: ''Are you first class. MADAME
Aged lady: Yes, thank you; how are
you, STRIP
Hard-Pan Logic-Physician: 'And is
that all you are going to give me, 20
marks for forty visits?'' Miser: 81
should think that was enough. You
must consider that if hadn't been sick
you wouldn't have had anything
The bite of mad boy has been prov
en- to be as poisonous as the bite of
mad dog, and yet mothers keep right
ON holding them up in corners to wash
their faces and comb down their bris-
ties.
Barnum was presented to the prince
of Wales the other day, but by great
effort the Snowman kept himself from
asking the prince what his mother would |
charge to come to America and ride
Jumbo. Philadelphia NeaCS.
Proposing a remedy for mosquitoes, |
the Haulmonton Hornet says; place a |
small piece of raw meat on plate in |
your sleeping room, and the birds viii |
light on it and never fly away. Our |
.sbirds'' would fly away with the meat, |
plate and all. - Camden Post.
Old gentleman Cooking at very bob
tailed horse): .'Bless me! how short |
they have cut his tall Attendant:
His master is member of the Society |
for the Protection of Animals. sir. In |
this fashion he will not annoy the poor
fiies.''
An Attorneys Last Hope-A certain
sharp attorney was said to be in bad
A friend of the unfor-
tunate lawyer met Jerrold, and said:
Have you heard about poor R?
His business is going to the devil Jer-
rold; That's all right, then; he is sure
10 get it back again"
The only way by which capital can
Increase is by saving If you spend as
,,-,oh as ron ,rof ron will magyar las. rich 4