davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Remarkable,

The late Rev. S. Hanson Cox, d. D.,
of New York, had mind so well stored
that it was said of him, He needs but
to turn the spigot' at a moments no.
tice, and stream of learning and in
formation on any subject will instantly
tlow.o DR.. Cuyler relates one remarka-
bic instance. He says:
Something very like a meteoric show
er it was when we were assembled in
the Academy of Music to receive the
astronomer, Prof. Mitchell, and listen
to him on behalf of projected observa-
tory in Central Park. The house was
filed with the most brilliant, intelligent,
scientific and cultivated audience.
Word was brought that sudden illness
prevented the eloquent astronomer from
leaving his bed. The word was sent to
me by the professor, and in despair
went to DR.. Cox, on the stage, told him
the distressing truth, and implored him
to come to the rescue, or the occasion
would be lost.
The assembly joined in the request,
he complied, and when the applause, on
his rising, had subsidized, he said,-
TO put me in the place Of such a
man rs Prof. Mitchell is like putting a
rushlight in the place of Ursa Major"
And then he proceeded to deliver a
strictly astronomical discourse of three
quarters of an hour, that electrified the
assembly; every illustration and allus-
ion of which, including many Scripture
quotations, were drawn from the
science itself, as if it were the study of
his life, his only study. Not one man
in ten thousand would have been found
equal to such an effort in such circum-
stances.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
a Western Court Anecdote.

One of the dryest jokers of the day is
Judge Allen A. Bradford, of the Pueblo
bar. He is little eccentric, but withal
one of the best lawyers in the far West,
He was trying case a few years since
before a Judge to whom he took a dis
like The Judge was undecided in his
ruling; would change his conclusion ev-
cry time the opposite lawyer would ar
que point. When Bradford came to
talk to the jury he took occasion to ex-
press his contempt Said he:
Gentlemen of the jury, the indecis-
ion of this court reminds me of the IA
bied ass that died between two bundles
of straw for want of decision
The court could stand this no longer
Calling the attorney to order, he fined
him So for contempt. With the cool
ness he Is capable Of Bradford felt in
his pocket for moment, then produc-
ing $3.50. said in his peculiar information
of voice:
Your Honor, I have but half the
amount. Twill pay for the straw, but
let the ass stand "-Denrer Tribune.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Never Mind the Rutcher.

1t was during the peninsula campaign
Just before the battle of Williamsburg,
the commanding officer had issued IN
order forbidding foraging under penalty
of severe punishment. A section OF
artillery had been supported by the
Fiftv-sixth New York Volunteer Infant
ry in little skirmish late in the even
ing, and, owing to some misundcrstand-
ING, the infantry and artillery were left
on picket line till late hour without
any rations. Darkness had closed in,
and farm-yard in the vicinity offered
too great temptation for the hungry
artillerymen to resist.
Soon the fragrant aroma of roast pig
drew more than one officer to the vicini-
ty of the improvised barbecue. Among
others, was Colonel Van Wyck, the SEN
ior officer in command. He was asked
by one of the improyised camp cooks II
he would partake of the menu. Ger
tainly,n replied the colonel; and with
sharpencd appetite, he at once took hold
of the luscious roast porcine ribs. Sud
denly staff officer rode upon the scene.
be said: with de compliments of de
general commanding, / wish to know
who kilt dis roast hog?''
Tell the general commanding, roar
cd Colonel Van Wyck, stretching his
tall form to its utmost altitude, ''that
Colonel Van Wyck never inquiries who
the butcher is when he sits down to a
gentleman's table,
The staff officer was the Comtc dc
Paris, of General McClellan's staff No
further inquiry was ever instituted into
the mystery Of the foraging expedition.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Innocence Of Youth.

The Vicksburg boy can stand up
with any other boy in the world against
an accusation. The other day. when a
Vicksburg mother discovered sugar on
the pantry shelf, she called her boy and
said:
'.Some one has been stealing this
sugar!''
rs it possible?" he exclaimed, rolling
up his eyes in establishment
Yes, it is possible; and the thief is
not far away either
"Ain't hep Do you suspect father?''
NO, | don't"
''Couldn be the cat?' he inquired,
glancing under the table in search of
the feline
Cats don't eat sugar. young man.
They don't?',
mo, sir; the thief is boy about your
age
He is, ehe I'd just like to catch him
in here oncer'
If the sugar is disturbed again. she
said, as she covered up the box. Il
know of boy who'll get his jacket
busted
That's bully 1 wish you'd let me
stay out of school, SOS to see you catch
and maui him.
And be went out to devour the other
Jumps
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
The Result Of Relieving IN Proverbs,


While the prisoners were out in the
jail yard few days ago, two of them
who were under sentence TO the peniten-
tiary, were heard comparing notes about
as follows:
Il don't believe in proverbs" said
prisoner No. 1, lit is believing in pro-
verbs that brings me here When l was
a boy, often seen folks pick up pins,
and when asked them why they did it,
they said:
IF you see pin and let it lay.
You will have bad luck all the day"
"Yes, that's so. Eve heard it myself. =
swell, it don't work. / picked up a
pin, and I've had bad luck ever since.
was arrested the very same day, and
now I've got to go to the penitentiary
for three years.
what has that to do with picking up
pins?"
well. you see, the pin | picked up
was diamond pin worth $50. l be
ieved in the proverb about having good
luck, if / picked up the pin in show
case, but they telephoned for the police
and here | am
The other prisoner thought Tor
moment, and then said:
when come to think of it, proverbs
are what have brought me TO this fix. :
t'How so?n asked the man who had
picked up the pin for good luck.
''Well, l had heard about horseshoes
bringing good luck, so l picked up
horseshoes. Horseshoes were my weak
ness
"Them horseshoes you went of, with
were fastened on to another fellows
horse. weren't they?" queried No. l.
jess SOL
"When get out I'm not going to
tamper with any more proverbs, re-
marked No. ?.
Me neither" responded No. 1.
Fall in, boys said the jailer, and
they went back to their cosy retreats on
the inside of the jail.-Lonisrilte Courier
journal.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER II.
/ met my friend bearing the next
day. He said:
"a final test-come and call with me
on the two damsels this evening, and
give me your opinion"
Certainly"
And it was arranged that Tom would
PICK me up in the evening and take
me to see bis two inamoratas.
He was punctual, and about nine in
the evening | was presented to Miss
Edith. She was as charming as my
friend had represented. What espec-
tally i'm pressed me was the sweetness
of her rather reserved manners, and
her habit of blushing easily. Sne had
very fine eyes, which expressed every
emotion, and thought / could per-
ceive that my friend bearing had made
a strong impression. She laughed at
him little gently for his fopperies,
but that did not deceive me. She
plainly recognized his finer qualities,
and had conceived something more
than regard for him.
The visit was entirely pleasant. The
young lady played and sang, and her
father, an elegant old gentleman, was
plainly wrap. ed up III her. On all
sides were the evidences Of wealth
the fate of Miss Filth seemed a smil-
ing one, and when we retired / said to
bearing:
"There is your parti, my dear fellow
She really is chaming as you say"
She certainly is. But come in and
see the other"
We went to call upon Miss Emma.
1t was in another part Of tho city, and
the house WAS small and plain. We
were received by the young lady with
cordial smiles aud frank pleasure. She
was unquestionably 4 beauty, too.
The play of her features was dazzling.
She said number Of things 70 my
friend bearing in low voice which |
surmised, and was either exceedingly
fond of him or anxious to produce that
impression.
DWELL" said Tom, when we were in
the street again. which,"
Il really don't know how to advise
you. Are you above money considers
tions?"
Frankly, my dear fellow, am.
You may not believe me, but 1T l.
true, eccentric ~ it appears, no doubt.
Rich or poor, | should never marry
for money-the game IS not worth the
candle"
"Tlen propose to your dear Emma
IF you think you prefer her, and she
is fonder IF you than the other"
bearing walked along rejecting, and
swinging his whalebone cane
There is still another question" he
said. al am said to be wealthy which
am not. DO you think that consid-
Grafton has ever entered into the minds
of these angels?'
Il really don't know
Because il would be interesting "a
arrive at right views on that subject.
And the topic reminds me that have
not yet obtained 4 situation for the
friend in reduced circumstances which
/ mentioned last night. | must look
after that young mans affairs, and
secure some employment for him. He
is poor, but honest, and would take
any position-senator Of the United
States or market gardener
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Milwausee Market

MILWAUKEE, May so .-slolr- Wheat -
hard, nominal; No. :. l.29H; IsaS for seller
asyi l.29h for seller June; Lass for seller
July; lies sor seller August; seller Septem,
ber and the year. aOminal; No. 5. Ill: No. 4
nd rejected, nominal. Cor Stronger and
fairly acti'e No. :, 7os; rejected, 60. Cats
Steady; elsssd weak, No. >, 81. Rye-Un-
changed; No. l, IS; No. , lower, ~ Barley
Dull; Ne. ?, sa; sellers, 81; bid for extra No 5.
So. Proyisions-LOwer. Mess Perk-l9S5 for
seller cash aad Juse; 1885 for seller july.
Lsri-PriInC steaN, ll.S0 for seller cash and
June; Has for seller July. Live Hogs-ouiet
and lower: i.4OG7.9O fer common to choice.
Receipts Flour, ll,l26; wheat, 1880; barley,
$40. Shipments Flour, 2.750, wheat, e,S55;
barley, 1880.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Dread Of Potte IS Field.

An Eighth avenue Undertaken sat in
his office Yesterday, chatting cheerfully
with a friend. In the twilight the small
sparks of his cigar shone ike dozen
glow worms in the glass fronts of rs
many baskets which stood on end about
the walls Of the warero6ms. A bcy in
brass buttons entered with a telegram.
on which the undertaken paid the char
ges. He read it, threw it down on his
desk. and said: by George Then
he called out: Gus. get ready horse
and wagon. Isn't it striking" he went
on. chow these people dread going 10
the Potter's FieId?'f
'.What people?''
why. everybody. Here's a poor
woman who sent to us over . month
ago and asked if we'd take charge of
$50 for her. She was Ill, aud was sure
she might die any day, and she wanted
to know that her funeral expenses were
surely paid for. took the money and
sent her our receipt. / hadn't heard
from her since, and had given her up.
And now here comes word she's dead"
-Net0 York San.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Giving Oscar Wilde a Gold Shake


Zone thing is settled saws Clara
Belle in her last letter from New York,
in the Cincinnati Commercial. "Os-
ear will not become fashionable here.
He has been invited out several times.
to be sure, but only by persons who are
noted for grotesqueries. For instance,
lie has dined with Mrs. John Bigelow
She is the estimable and accomplished
wife of an Ex-Minister to France; still
she is the oldest creature in all our cir
Gle of culture and wealth. She is ever
doing something queer. twas through
her that the German official guests re-
tired in anger from the recent ball to
the Yorktown visitors. She dresses
richly but outrageously. 4 dress of
blue, with an overdress of green, is
mild form of her eccentricity Of colors.
If fashion orders fullness of drapery
behind, she is pretty sure to disobey the
order by putting the fullness in front.
She never wears corsets; she is In all
things original and independent; she
was sure to be the one conspicuous lead
er in society to welcome Oscar, the as-
thete. As for the general public. we
have seen him, and he has made us
mildly sick. If he comes your way, it
viii be worth your while to take one
look at him, Just to see what an over
grown. loose ointed, spindle shanked.
vacant-faced, unwholesome fellow may
get admiration in London Until then
you viii have to
Conceive him if you can.
six-foot-tWo young man,
4 coliry. mOldery.
Hair on his shoulder.
All and fnfu NAV
Or, if you wish something to tie youi
imagination to, recall Cool Burgess In
his song and dance, s.Nicodemus John
SON. The thin legs in black stockings;
the broad, fiat feet, the wide collar, the |
swallow-tail coat, the wild hair, the idi- |
otic expression, the awkward attitudes
all these. though differing in details |
make up a similarity of general effect
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
Feeding Swine During Winter.

Swine should be fed oftener than twice
daily, and during the winter the first
feed should be given moderately early,
and the evening feed should be given
not at or 5 o'clock, as is the custom
with many, but at about $50. Four
teen or fifteen hours between the even
ing and morning feeds are periods alto
gether too long for comfort and profit,
as the appetite is liable to become raven
Gus, the animal gorging itself unduly.
1t is great mistake to suppose that
it is only required to rush the food into
the hogs stomach, regardless of quanti-
ty or intervals between. The stomach is
of quite moderate capacity, and when
crammed, the process of digestion goes
on like horse laboring at a load he
cannot move, the work being done
tardily, and only partially completed.
In eases of incomplete digestion, por-
ton of the food given is lost, passing off
through the bowels and going to the
manure pile. The art of feeding there
fore, does not merely consist in shovel
ing out corn, without judgment or limit,
but in studying the natural capacity for
digestion, and feeding to this capacity;
or little inside of it, that all the food
given may be put in shape for assimila-
tion.-Nattondl Licc- Stock Journal, Chi
cdgo.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
About Carnets.

In furnishing house, carpets cost
full as much as the furniture, any plan
by which their expense may be lcSSened,
therefore, is worth adopting. Carpets
made in squares, with a stained floor
space all around them of say two or
three feet in width, cost considerably less
at the outset in material, time, and la
Dor. They last longer, as they can be
frequently turned round; it being the
uneven wear of one part threadbare
while another is comparatively fresh
which make them look shabby. They
are certainly more healthy, from the
dust being so much more easily and
thoroughly removed, and there is no
doubt as to their superior convenience.
After a removal they can be put down
directly. while with fitted carpets, either
in the old or new home, the discomfort
of bare boards has to be endured while
the alterations are being made, the
heavy furniture having to be lifted a
second time, and subsequently at every
thorough cleaning. If possible, Get all
room, landing, and stair carpets the
same pattern. 1t gives house a much
more complete appearance, and when
worn they may be taken to mend or en-
large the others. Always buy an extra
yard in stair carpets, and let them fire.
quently be moved an inch or two; this
prevents line wearing on the edge of
each stair. A doubled piece of stiff
brown paper laid over the edge Of each
step also saves the carpet considerably.
1t is an economical investment to get Il
Turkish carpet for the dining-room,
since it will last lifetime, and always
look we'll
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
A Story of Webster.

Mr.. Webster's centennial birthday
was an occasion for many anecdotes in
the New England papers. 1t is related
that friend from Nantucket once OBJ
jected because Mr.. Webster asked him
$4,000 to go to the Island to argue a
case. 81 would as soon argue the whole
docket" said Mr. Webster, who did not
wish the long trip. The friend said that
he would argue such cases as he should
present before his own case was called.
When Mr.. Webster got to Nantucket he
found that the friends case was at the
foot of the docket and that he was ex-
pected to argue the whole docket
through. He did SO and received
the $4,000, but his client, who had
'.farmed'' him out, cleared $1,000 be-
sides winning his case 2ittS6arg Post.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02

The people Of Reno, Nevada, have
recently furnished an example of cool
ness in time of danger which may well
serve as an example TO the subjects of
the effete deSpotisms of the Old World.
Had the unfortunate spectators who
were burned in Vienna been blessed
with the same presence of mind, their
lives would probably have been spared.
1t seems that while the population of
Reno was in the Grand Opera House,
listening to the strains which are conf
IDENTITY believed by Alice Oates to be
sweet. an alarm was given. The pop
ulation Of Reno turned pale. The dread
ed cry Of '.Fireia Smote upon the ear of
Reno. Fair Women shuddered and grew
faint. Some ''strong man. Immediately
gained the presumably to keep
the crowd from getting out, and to
preserve untarnished the Reno name for
GOODNESS. At this awful moment a man
arose in the gallery. He is now Reno's
demigod, but at that time he was god.
He arose, we say, extended his hand,
and these memorable words fell from
his lips: keep cooi! The fire is in
Chinatown" AT these words all hearts
were glsddened, and grateful glances
from fair eyes shot softly toward him.
His name was Hagermann. When we
consider that there were fully one hum
dred and fifty people in the Reno Grand
Opera House; that it was, therefore,
jammed; that this immense crowd would
probably have required forty-five to fifty
seconds in emerging; that the loss of life
would probably have been enormous
not strange that the name of Hager-
mann has been emblazoned in letters of
gold upon Reno's scroll of fame.-44rgo-
0Ittf
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02

The drowning Of Messrs. Comfy and
Reizel, of the Clara Louise Kellogg
Concert Company, in New Hampshire,
Saturday, was most sorrowful disaster.
dispatch from Chesterfield Lake, n.
H., dated Sunday, says: "a number
of men have been engaged all day
dragging the lake for the bodies OF
Messrs Comfy and Reitzel, but without
success. No one knows the exact
locality of the drowning, fact that
renders the work Of recovering the
bodies all the more difficult. Clara
Louise Kellogg and Messrs. Sumner and
Corsely of her company, a brother Of
Mr. Comfy from Boston, and cousin
from Springfield, arrived this morning
and will push forward the search with
vigor. Hundreds visited the lake to-
day from the near country
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
CHICAGO Market

CHIcAso May 30.-Flour- Steady and arm
Whest-U nsettled aud lower, No. Chicago
spring, l.2Sa 8l.e4 for seller cash; leSh a
LA for seller May; l.24s for Jane; l24A,
fer seller July; Ito for seller August; l.06h
for seller September; 1.O4 Tor seller year; No. 5,
Chicago spring, LloGl.l2; rejected, S56sO
Corn-Unsettled and generally higher, 7oA e
7oA for seller cash; 7l951s fer seller May;
y tor seller June; sos for seller July: 5S4s FOR
seller August; year and rejected, 90 oats--T Tn
settled and generally higher; 49a for seller cash;
49h for seller May; 47G47'4 for seller June; A.
CAS-. for seller July; S5s as for seller Au-
gust; S+A for seller September; SSA GS4f.
for seller year. Rye Steady and unchanged.
Barley-Steady and unchanged. Flax seed
At l.S6G l.20. Butter-Essier; creamery, 20 a
2Sc.; diaries. fair to fne, lSG2lc. Eggs-At
lSG lSAsc. Pork-Activc firm and higher
1866 1862. for seller cash 1885 Ter seller
May and June; no for seller July; 1850
1855. for seller August; 1920 bid for
seller September. Fairly active and a
shade higher, ll.SO tor seller cash; lISOxGI 50 \
for seller June; ll.45 for seller Jaly; Hiss :.
for seller August; l1.7O9lL72s for seller Sep
TENDER. Bulk Meats-Easier. shoulders, 800;
short ibs, lI.25, do clear, HIS. Whisky =
Steady and unchanged; Lie. Frcights to
Buffalo, &C. Receipts-Flour. $50; wheat 10 :
60; corn So 200 oats, 90 600; rye, $50; barley.
100. Shipments Flour, 1000; wheat. IS 900;
corn. $4,000, oats, $500; rye, l40Oa; barley,
1000. Board holds no session Monday or Tues
dav
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02

A traveller says that at a country inn,
near the Catskills, he and 4 friend had
forty cents worth of refreshment, and
rendered five-dollar bill. The elderly
Batavian behind the bar figured while.
and then pushed back the bill,with forty
cents laid on it. The guest said: Here,
this is too much ''Vy, so it bees"
said the man, taking back the five dollars.
'.Now YOU We takeiMoo much, said the
guest. The bill " as then returned with,
'.Shoost you bay ven you come again. "
"No, | shan't come again" said the
guest. The bar-man figured and reiig-
ured for some time, but at length threw
down his pencil. saying: Come. you
take drink and call it square"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02
MaLAISIAL FEVER.

Malarial Feyers, Rheumatism, ETC.. result most
frequently from inactivity Of the liver and kid
neys. You make great mistake and do your
important organs If life most careful attention.
1t s wrong 10 persiStently turn The liver upside
down by the use OF severe cathartio medicines or
to lash the kidneys int. { mplete exhaustion by
overdoses Of violent diuretcs Strength can be
given 10 liver and kidneys, life and vigor IN
to evefl part Of the body, cid age lie made to feel
youthful, ard disease banished from the body by
using the queen Of all health reviewers, DR.. Guy
sott's Yellow Dock and Sarsapari Ia, This won
derful compound is oatselling all other remedies.
1t contains Yellow Dock, Sarsaparla Juniper,
Iron, Buchu, Celery and Caiisaya. Ask your
physician concerning such compound then try
one bottle. 1t will make your mind and body
healthy and strong. 1t is more refreshing than
wine, and You will like it just as well.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02

Mrs MARIA NJ. MILLER lately sued
the estate Of Thomas Mckenzie, Of
New York. to recover the value of a
note for $1,000, given by the deceased
for services rendered during his life.
He was much given TO drink, and at
one lime had been confined IN an
asylum. This experience bad created
horror IN him that like fate would
befall Linn again, and he was in the
habit Of taking refuge in Mrs Miller's
house whenever he felt his failing COM
ing over him. The evidence on her
behalf was to the eject that She re-
ceived and treated him with evey care
and attention. She was never requited
in his lifetime, but month before his
death, while at her house recovering
from one of his drinking spells, he
gave her the note for S.. coo as COM
pensation. \ verdict Tor 81 coo was
rendered.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-02

imagination-my inventive faculties
are already at work"
"Whst do you mean?"
81 will explain myself subsequently.
The plot of the drama is not yet def
nitely arranged By-the-5y. do you
know of good situation for a young
man Of high moral character"
"a situation?"
II have young friend who is affiict-
ed with want of funds. He was once
wealthy, but is now in reduced circum-
stances. He must do something for a
living-but / will recur to the subject.
Now, goodnight, my dear fellow"
Tom Dearirg then departed.