Daily Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1876-1884, 1882-06-14
FUN. FACT AND FANCY.

Oxtails are quoted in the New York
market at only one dollar dozen, and
here it is within two weeks of fly time =
Detroit Free Press.
"What, inquiries the editor of an ex.
change, ssshall we do with our girlsy'
He can do what he likes with his, but
we warn him to leave ours alone.-Day-
ton tNev.) Times.
SITS never too late to mend" Jane
Johnson, of Leeds, who is reported to
have been convicted 200 times for drunk.
enness, has now, in her SD year, Joined
the Salvation Army.
An editor offers three dollars for the
best written love letter. There are
some people who would give more than
that to get back some they have writ
ten.-Somerville Journal.
The Toronto Telegram advocates q
tax on bachelors. Better get them mar.
ried. That is the best tax on bachelors
ever invented. The above fiendish re-
mark was make by club man.
"Where do the pins go %" has been
in currency SO long that it has gotten to
be below par. 1t should be changed to
Where do the buttons go tor They
60 to make cuss words.
A young gentleman, being asked by a
fair friend to describe another young
lady's dress, said it was velvet get up
with sunken stripes. That settled it; it
was the latest agony in corduroy.
Ingersoll, in his reply to Talmage,
only alluded once to the Brooklyn di-
vines smile. There are some subjects
which are too vast for even Ingersoll to
discuss in one evening. Chicago Tri-
bune.
Says the Hartford Post. Treasurer
Kingsland, of Jersey City Savings
Bank, shot himself yesterday morning,
yet his bank accounts are all right. "
Maybe it was feeling of lonesomeness
that made him do it.
Prof. Pike, who perforated his pupil
at the State University in Minnesota
with bullets. is too good shot to waste
his time teaching school He ought to
go to Kentucky or run for the presidency
of Princeton College.
A jury in San Francisco awarded a
book agent $l20 for damages for an as
sault committed on him by man who
didn't like his book. Now the vendor
wants to find another man who is SINH
larly prejudiced against his book.
1t is true that the young man in tight
pants looks like hair-pi with thin
bic atop of the arch. 1t is true that his
neither limbs resemble couple of ex-
clamation points. But what of that? Is
he not happy !--Boston Transcript.
II never pretend to know thing
that do not, remarked Brown. "When
| don't know thing l say at once, l
don't know" "a very proper thing, ;"
said Fogg, "but how monotonous your
conversation must be. Boston Tran
script.
Charles Dudley Warner says the brig
ands in Sicily have quit stealing and
gone to keeping hotels, which are COM
ing to be first-class. Their prices are
already frst-rate. They have only to
raise the accommodation, the food and the
attendance up to the prices, and they
will be all right. The landlords have
simply begun at the wrong end.
George Bennett, an Iowa farmer, was
accused of criminally obtaining money by
contracting to deliver grain which he
did not possess. He protested that he
know nothing whatever about the mat
ter, but the evidence against him con-
WINGED a jury, and, a year ago, he was
sentenced to three years in the peniten-
tiary. The man who personated Bennett
has now been detected, and the convict's
innocence is made clear. The Governor
has pardoned him, and will ask the
Legislature to vote him $1,000, besides
parchment on which the facts in the
case are officially inscribed.