davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1882-07-06
"A Fortunate Day"

CONNER WASHINGTON AND WARREN STs.,
TRENTON, N. j., Sept. 2, 1881.
H.H. WARNER & Co.: SirS-It was fortunate
day for my wife when she commenced the use
OF your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure after suf-
fering from kidney disease for seven years.
She is now perfectly well and healthy from Its
use. JAMES KELLY,
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1882-07-06
BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD.
THE MODEL FAST,

THE MODEL FAST,
THE EAST AND THE WEST,
DOUBLE TnAeKl rJHSNEv coUrnERi
Schedule to take effect Sunday, May 81, 1882.
A. NJ. LEAVE WASHINGTON:
to S6-C CHICAGO, CINCINNATI AMIDST LOUIS FAST
EXPRESS, Sleeping cars to Cincinnati, st.
soo-BaItimors, EIiIsSs City and Way Stations.
e6o,B bali, s Annag %ii and Way tPea.
and I way. Via Relay, 1'A''''' A'Sef'''""
.45-BALTIHoRE EXPIRES
i, G?ns AN new way yeRR 1 ana BOSTON,
EXPRESS. Parlor cars to New York.
nects for Maserstown and Of Point Of ROCKS
for Frederick.)
' press. Stops at Beitsviiie annapolis June.
tion. Jess,ps and Dorseys. On Sunday
Io.oo-BALTIMoRF ExPREss. Stops at Hyatts.
vile and Laurel.
ST. Louis EXPRESS, Sleeping cars to Gin
cinnati and Chicago.
Ia.lo- Baltimore. Ellicot City, Annapolis and Way
Stations
EXPLANATIONS ExPREss.
t9.oo-BALTIMoRE. PHILADELPHIA End NEW
s.so-Batimore and Way Stations. (winchester,
Frederick Hagerstown and Way, via Re.
4.ao-BALTrMonF, HYArTsvILLr AND LAUREL
ExpREss Frederick. via Relay. stops at
observation-disclosures. Annapolis and Way Stations.
t4.46--Point of Rocks. Frederick, Hagerstowu,
Winchester and Way Stations. OnSunday
to Point OF Rocks and Way Stations only.)
t6.46-BALTIMoRE EXPRESS. (Martinsburg ard
Way. via Relay. Stops at Hyattsviile and
Laurel.l
e.o6-Polnt OF Rocks and Way Stations.
7.oo-Baltimore and Way Stations.
t6IO-PJTTSBURGH, CLEVELAND and DETROIT
EXPRESS. Sleeping Cars to Pittsburgh
TO 55-PmILADELpHIA. NEW York and Bosros
EXPRESS. Sleeping cars TO New York.
tfO.1o-CHICAGO, CINCINNATI. and ST. LOUIS
EXPRESS: Sleeping cars to Cincinnati, 81.
Louis and Chicago.
1.9o-Baltimore and Way Stations.
tDaily. tSunday only. Other trains daily eE.
cept Sunday.
Ali traina nom washington stop at Relay Sta.
ton.
For further Information apply at the Baltimore
4 Ohio Ticket Offices, Washington Station and GIG
and 1851 Penna. avenue cor. OF 18th street, where
orders will be taken fCs baggage to be check ed and
received at any point III the city,
VIM. CLEMENTS, @. X. LORD,
Master of Transportation. Gen. Passenger Agt.,
BALTIMORE. BALTIMORE.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1882-07-06
New Annex to BIG 9Th St.

NHW ANNHA IL OLD I'LL 6l.
For last SIX mSqhs our business has been
Turn Away Hundreds Of Customers.
We have therefore decided to add
Fifty Feet to Our Present Building,
The Builders will go to work July5 Our stock
must be
REDUCED at a SACRIFICE
within that short time.
Special attention called to the following bar
gains;
One Lot Ladies' Best Make French
Kid Button Boots, worth $3.50; re-
dueed to So.
One Lot Ladies' Feather Weight,
Hand-sewed Kid Button Boots,
worth So; reduced to So.
One Lot Ladies' Kid, Goat and Foxed
Button Boots. Cheap at Sr.a5;
down TO csc.
One Lot Ladies' Three-strap Sandels
down to zoe.
One Lot Ladies' Box-toc Low Button
value SI.a5: reduced 10 ST.
One Lot Boys and Youths First-class
Fine Calf Low Tics, Button and
oxfords, valued at SO, down to So.
and Sa.5o.
One Lot Gents Fine Calf, Glove, Kid
and Goat Low Ties reduced from
Sa.5o to $2.
One Lot Gents Most Durable and Com
Portable Low Shoes in the District
down to $I.25.
One Lot Misses and Children's Fine
Sandels, Ties and Low Button from
ST. down to rs cents.
One Lot Children's Fine-hceled and
Spring heeled Button down to Use.
Shop Worn Goods and Many Odds and
Ends at half their value.
Call while our stock is complete.
VIM. HAHN'S,
RELIABLE SHOE HOUSE,
SIG Seventh Street,
SIGN: RED SLIPPER,
BRANCH. 1929 PENNA. AVE.
1
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
A Ouaker's Successful Rinse.

Some time ago a Philadelphia Quaker, be-
longing to an Indian delegation, was cross
ing a wide plain IN hostile country. The
driver of the ambulance called his attention
to four Indians on horse back, who soon sur
rounded the vehicle. A young brave in war
paint made unmistakable demonstrations
of hostility. The interpreter told him they
were peace men and medicine men. He re-
piled that they must prove themselves medi-
cine men; of peace men they had had too
soldiers kill them.
"Be quick" said he; show us some Won
dertul medicine work, or we will kill you, y
putting action to the word by handling their
rifles and tomahawks.
Here was dilemma Pointing to the old
est one, tine-looking Quaker six feet in his
stockings, with white hair, who had been the
first talker of the party, he itlriously gesticu-
lated and cried out:
Medicine man show Medicine man
show
An inspiration seized him. He had dou-
bic set of false teeth on plates oftlesh.colored
material, and pointed at his teeth with his
finger and then tapping them with much
grimace and correctness, he motioned for all
the braves to come within sight, and when
all were intent upon him he deliberately took
out first the upper set and then the lower set
of teeth, and made motion towards his neck
as if about to separate his head from his body,
when the braves wheeled their horses and
rode furiously away, and the party Of peace
makers also turned their horses heads and
ambulance fort ward, rejoicing at their stratc-
gical dclverancc.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
VOL. XXVI---NO. l3.
Early Cucumbers.

Those who have hot-beds or frames car
SOW cucumber seed in these, after the plants
are removed, and by covering at night and in
cold days, greatly hasten the plants. Those
who are without these, can forward the
plants very much. Take piece ofgood sod,
lay it grass-side down upon board and cut
1t in or inch squares with sharp spade or
an old knife. Sow In the earth of each scare
half q dozen or more cucumber seeds, and
place the board with the sods, in a warm place,
under the shelter of building or fence; pro-
vide another board to cover the sods. Ex-
pose during the day and cover in the afternoon
before the day grows cold. When the plants
appear, of course the cover must be raised by
props of some kind; bricks are handy
When the plants are large enough, and the
weather settled, place each square of sod in d
well MANFRED hill; make frames of 6.inch
stuff, 12 or 10 inches square, n box without
top or bottom, cover one end with millinet
or mosquito net tackled on, and place one Of
these over each hill. This is the best way to
keep off the striped bug. Should very cold
nights occur, cover the top of the boxes with
shingles or any other handy stuff 1t is not
so much trouble as may be inferred from the
description, and will greatly advance the Gu.
cumbers. Melons and summer squashes NAV
be treated in the same manner as suggested
for ucumbers.-American Ag,4cuAu9ia for
dpTa
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
4 Land Agents Story.

a pretty good story is told about Land
Agent Milner, of the Atchison, Topeka e San.
Ia Fe Railroad, who had one day party of
Eastern farmers in town, trying 10 sell each
of them farm in the Arkansas Valley
Miner had taken them into his light wagon
and behind his spanking team bays had
given them grand ride, lasting all day. He
had done his best to make them enthusiastic
by rchcarsing the stories, which he had at
tongues end, of the marvellous crops of the
valley, but to all ntents it was cloves labor
lost, for they would not thuse. This annoy
ed Miner, but he had his revenge in his re.
ply TO one of the party, who with a sardonic
smile asked:
"Well, Mr.. Agent, is there anything that
won't grow here?"
Yes" replied Miner, pumpkins won't
"Whatw exclaimed the cynical land
buyers together, pumpkins WON'T"
NO." said Miner, there are men in this
county who would give $3.50 an acre for land
that would mature crop ofpumpkins. They
never have been able to get a crop since Eve
been here, and that's ten years"
"Well, how strange Why is it 2" said land
buyer No /.
This was Miners chance. and with n Sc.
rious expression he replied :"Wcll, sir, the soil
is so rich that the vines grow so fast they
wear the pumpkins out dragging them over
the ground :"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31

An English paper, giving some evidence
regarding the tenacity with which the snail
holds on to his life, relates that lady, having
collected some with pretty marked shells,
wished to preserve them. She therefore
subjected them to a couple of boiling water
baths and left them on a shelf in u sum-
mer house to dry. The next morning, to her
surprise and dsmay, she found the snails
crawling about the place, ard some of the
hungrier ones feeding upon the paste meant
to be used in cementing the shells together.
The tender hearted lady was So distressed
at her unwilling cruelty that she sat down
and had n good cry" ending with the resolve
never to attempt snail boiling again. In
1771 an Irish collector stated before the Royal
Society that certain white snails that had been
confined in the cabinet for at least fifty years
poked their heads out of their shells and re-
sumed their usual habits on being immersed
in warm water. The members ofthe Society
were 10th to believe the testimony of the
Irishman; but in 1850 an Egyptian desert
snail that had been in a state of lethargy for
four years at the British Museum suddenly
reused up and became as lively in appearance
as ever il had been on its native sand 1t fed
heartily upon lettuce leaves, and continued
active for q couple of years The circum-
stance proved that the story of the Irish col.
lector might well be true.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
Comparative Nutritive Value of Fish.
Flesh and Fowl.

Prof. Atwater of the Agricultural College
of Connecticut has deduced from the various
analyses and Investigations of chemists n
table illustrating the comparative nutritiye
value ofvarious species of fish, flesh, and fowl.
Some of its conclusions will surprise many
persons, inasmuch as they are directly con
trary to generally received notions on the sub
ject. As a basis the professor takes medium
beet-neither fat nor lean-as having nutri.
tive value of 100. He puts fat pork at l1G,
smoked beef at LAG, smoked ham at 157, ord-
nary beef at 91.3, mutton at 800, butter nj
l24.1, cheese, from SKINNED milk, at 150,
hens eggs at 12.2. In fresh fish the highest
place is given to salmon, 107 8. Spanish
mactercl are estimated at 105. 0, boned cod at
106 above all fresh fish save salmon) canned
salmon at 10,, and salt mackerel at I'LL
Oysters, supposed by many to be so nutritious,
at 21S and Holsters 80 8. A very satisfactory
point in this estimate is that what is cheapest
is the most nourishing. The exceptional
nutritive character of smoked and dried pre-
parations is due TO the evaporation ofmois
ture and compression of tissue The enor.
nous amount OF nutriment in cheese explains
the vast consumption of American cheese in
England, where one sees laborers eating IL
freely
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31

House, ordered me to go down to breakfast
and then asked me what l would have for
breakfast, taking my order to the cook him
self. l could not get rid of him in any way.
He hunted me all the time. / tried to find
places to send him to get rid of him, but he
was back as quick as lightning. That tel-
low will be the death of me / have this
satisfaction, however, the other Justices are
tortured in the same way.
When Mr.. Justice Gray, OF Massachusetts,
recently went on the Supreme bench, he had
IN idea he would do just as he pleased; but
after trial he finally had to yield, and is
now as completely in the power of his body
servants as any of the others. He not only
was not allowed to select man for himself,
but was forced to accept the services of fell
low he does not like
They are death ON custom, they live on
custom, and not one of the body servants
doesa thing different from what he did years
ago. AS rule the body servants are past
middle age. The fathers and grand fathers of
some of them served in the same capacity,
for they never let a new man into the ring.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
A Sad story.

Yes, there was no doubt about it the min
lister was in the habit of beating his wife
Their next door neighbor, n lady Of inquiring
mind, at ten O'Clock one night heard shrek
"A woman's shriek--from a chamber in the
parsonage. She looked across, and through
the curtain she could see that man and wo-
man were running about the room in great
excitement. He was tiourishing n stick, and
striking with it. And blows could be plain
lyheard. And as he struck she screamed. The
next day the town rang with the disgraceful
news. The officers of the church discussed
the matter with heavy hearts. After due
elaboration they called the minister and his
wife. He to answer to q charge of unminis-
teral conduct, and she to testify in the case
They came, greatly puzzled and surprised
The case was gravely stated by the senior
elder, when the culprit and witness burst into
n laugh. Checking themselves, when they
saw how serious and sad the elders looked
they explained The minister's wife, though
an excellent woman who loved everybody
and especially her husband, did not love rats
But the house having been vacant for some
time, the rats had taken possession. When
they went to their chamber, n huge rodent
ran under the bed. The wife screamed. The
husband caught up a stick and tried to kill
the intruder. Every time he struck at and
missed the rat the lady screamed again. The
scene must have been an amusing one to
their watchful next door neighbor; and they
laughed again at the recollection of il. The
worthy church officers were mortified and dis
gusted and the next day the whole town was
laughing over the way in which one mischiev-
Gus gossip fooled the grave elders of the
church
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31

\ correspondent of the LOadon Jou,nai Of
horticulture says in reference 10 this ques
ton: Last winter an old poultry keeper
told me he could distinguish the sex in eggs
| laughed at him and was none the less skep-
tical when he told me the following secret:
Eggs with the air bladder on one side will
produce pullcts. The old man was so certain
of the truth of this dogma, and his poultry
yard so far confirmed it, that determined TO
make experiments upon it this year. have
done so, carefully registering the egg bladder
vertical, or bladder on one side, rejecting
every one in which it was not decidedly one
or the other, as in some it is only very slight
ly out of the centre. The following is the re
suit: Fifty-eight chickens were Matched,
three are dead, l. are yet too young to decide
upon their sex; of the remaining A, every
one has turned out true to the old mans
theory. This, of course, may be an accidental
coincidence, but shall certainly try the ex-
pertinent again"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
4 Wolf in q Boat,

Many incidents, of which some are pathet-
lie, others thrilling, n few humorous and all
interesting, may be found in the newspaper
accounts of the Mississippi floods Last
Monday the backwater got to be so threat
ening on the Trask plantation, near Helena,
Ark, that William Ware and Westly Hen
bricks started for Il more secure abiding place
They were padding leisurely along in dug.
out when out of the water and into the boat
sprang gray wolf The beast was q big
fellow, and, as the glazing green of his eyes
betokened, was ruvenous for food The occu-
pants of the boat were taken aback so com
petely that they did not know which way to
turn, but the wolf quickly made them act by
sprlnging at the throat of Hendricks. The
lattcr's paddle fortunately came down upon
the VOLTS head, and it was well that the
shock stunned the animal, which was thrown
quivering into the water. But the blow
overturned the boat also, and an exciting
struggle to right the dug-out before the wolf
could recover followed. This the men sue
ceeded in doing, and, in the language of the
Irish bull. maker, before the wolf recovered
his senses he lost them altogether. Having
removed the slain, which was five feet from
tip TO tip, the men padded without further
adventure to Helena.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
A WAY Passenger,

He was u Guild tramp and approached
Capt. Jase Philips as the train hauled up at
Pewee. us you de captin oh de kears o.
Yes replied Jase. Don't want TO to hire
any deck hands, does ye?" mo, I'm not
running steamboat "Zac'ly Mout ride
straddle oh dc cowsnatcher to de next landin'
-Pse busted an a long ways from home"-
Get on" and the negro straddled the Cow
snatcher.' Ed Gilligan pulled the throttle
wire open, and the train had not gone more
than half mile before the engine colldcd
with COW. Next day, coming down, the
negro limped up to Iasc at the same depot
and said Boss didn't ride fur wild you
on that cowsnatcher Kase de COW wanted
to ride dar, too, and dar want room TO bofe
of us, so we got off to gedder in n con field
TO to rest. De next time ride wild you I'll
freeze to de tail oh de wagon-hit's safer"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31

At the closing of the Railway On ~ Gram.
mar School, Adolph Jacobs, aged thirteen
years, composed and read the following com.
position on THE Advantage of Being a Bow"
"a boy is generally born when he is very
young, and gets to be a man before his mother.
A boy is not so skittish as a girl He takes
mouse which would scare his sisters half 10
death, and ties string to its tail and swings il
over his head. Then he is in his glory and
laughs at his sister, who is looking for knot
hole to hide in. He wears no lace bibs or cor
sets, petticoats or skirts. A boy possesses ten
times more cheek than girl but if he ever
does any mischief, he owns up to it with
bright smiling face. Girls are a great deal of
trouble to their parents, who have to keep
them until somebody falls in love with and
marries them. Not so with the boy--he takes
care of horses, works in the mine and raises
cabin. All that girls do for exercise is to
make dolls and crochet work, while the boy,
the spark of mankind, is putting M some Job
to play on his teacher or playing the glorious
game of base ball. HurraL then, for the
boys. They are the standard-bcarers of the
world"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
How to Grow Onions.

To grow one acre of onions use the follow
ing composition once week for eight weeks,
Qhe onions are to be sown broad cast } One
half bushel common salt one pound sulphur;
two ounces carbonate of ammonia. This
amount to be applied at one time-the first
application to be made as soon as the onions
come up. Ifthe ground should get hard
and weedy, the amount should be doubled or
even tripled. This is the famous recipe by
which so many onions were said to have
been grown in Iowa last year. No hoeing
or wedding is required.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31

IL don't know what ails me- exclaimed
Henderson. almost every afternoon feel
terrible pains all through mel" What did
you eat for dinner to.day?" asked Fogg.--
mot any more than usual" replied Fender
son. Il ate plate of soup, bit of baked
bass, a couple of slices of roast pork, some
stewed Kidneys, little lobster salad, sweet
bread or two, some pudding and pie, ice
cream, few nuts and raisins, bit OF
cheese, coffee, and few other things don't
think of just now" Il congratulate you, my
boy " said Fogg; you've strong constitu
ton. Nothings the matter with you. Ii
you weren't in prime health, that dinner
would have killed you"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
TIIE MINIATURE.

Accept the counterfeit of one whose need
Amidst Il world, where oft tbs sadly proved,
That those whom once we most devoutly loved
May cause the heart with deepest wounds TO
bleed
y need that some pure Ncsta-hand might feed,
With sacred love, To holy duties moved,
The affairs of heart, which Fate behoOved
Should fall to ashes, with no hand TO heed:
Oh, beauteous being if the semblance here
lnanimate, can claim thy kind regard
Then may tn Original notdeSpair
That Fate for him hath yet some sweet reward !:
For even now doth Fate those affairs cheer,
With newborn fires of love, Ophelia's hands
accord.
ALTON.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
Puetical.
For he -Agis dtd MteRigeHcer.
ETS.
THE PURSE.

Bnwildtrng work Of women 9 Skilful hands
Wearing upon thee every sweet impress
of her own purity and loveliness-
AS though her fingers, with magic wand,
Had deftly, caused thee. at her fair command,
From out the regions of the weird to rise:
And thus depicture, TO my wondering eyes,
The dazzling beauties of enchanted land
Not by the gold which thou mayst ever hold
tanst thou thy value truly thus impart:
For, though DER flowing with the purest gold
Thou coullst not be more valued than thou art
For thou dost bring me, in thy silken fold
The sacred treasures of Ophclia's heart
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-31
The Egis and Intelligencer
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