Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-01-25
sSjcr Aloo AlkopscE.

sSicE Aa0 AlAspscG.
--@ank--
Cucxur and bese ban Is ai6ost u
near each othr u bowl and pitcher. -
Bost0n Commercial BullettN.
A YAn question" Win you take
chance in t6israfIle Boston CbmRsev.
cjai Bulletin.
To ray the good die young i stand-
ing invitation foe small boy to be bed.
IN O. Pcdysns.
TEE alligator 10 certainly . sleepy.
looking thing; but when awake for bust
ness il il found there il some snap TO
HMM. O. Hcayssse.
Sou men aro % extremely careful
that they will lock themselves mp in the
back onice for . week TO avoid drafts
especially sight drafts. Peoria IFGHs-
cript.
THERE il an old adage that Il enough
rope 10 given to . fool he will hang him
self with il, but it appears that ever since
the world began there has beena scarcity
Of rope. Courier Journal.
BETWEEN man and wife: "Gontran,
my dear, which Of my costumes do you
Ike best to see me put on?" Gontran,
after Q moments reflection, Your
travelling costume, my darling. The
Parisian.
THERE is nsthing like being graphic.
A man who attempted to give an idea Of
eternity, said: why, my friends, after
millions and thrillions Of years had
rolled away it would be hundred thou
sand years to breakfast time"
Tn. other evening gentleman's but
ton caught hold Of the fringe Of lAdy's
shawl. "I'm attached to you, said the
gentleman, laughing, while he was in-
dustriously trying to get loose. The
attachment 10 mutual" was the good
natured reply.
SAID young Symonds: "Old Ragbas
has forbidden me his house and ordered
me not to speak to his daughter, but If
he thinks by that racket, he can rouse
my obstinacy and get me to make love
to the girl and marry her, he's mis-
taken. "-Boston Post.
"'PEARs to me your mill goes awful
slow. said an impatient farmer boy to q
miller. az could eat that meal Eastern
you can grind it," How long do you
think you could do it, my lad?" Quoth
the miller. "TiD starved to death, y
answered the boy.
| You can't get ahead Of Boston nerve.
When gilded youth of this city had
jim jams, and thought he saw snakes in
his boots, he had sufficient gall to turn
round to his brother and say: "Jsck,
these must be your boots. "-Bost0N
Post.
"C1aAR smoke pulled in mans face
by another man is assault and battery,
says New York Judge. II that is the
case, cigarette smoke, pulled anywhere
in one's neighborhood should be consid-
cred murder in the first degree. Mo.
nongahekn Daily Republican.
"EIaHT parts in ten Of the blood con-
sists of pure water, do you remark that
Mrs. TooAorida ?" II do, sir, and il iti
your own blood you're talking about
Mr.. TooAorida, take my word for it, the
other too parts consist Of whisky. ~
Neso York Commercial Advertiser.
81 THINE" said farmer, ~ should
make good congressman; for I use
their language. I received two bills the
other day with requests for immediate
payment; the one ordered to be laid or
the table-the other to be read that day
six months"
"PAPA, me has been baptized, ain
me ?" asked . little three-year-old. "Yes
dear" "Then me won't have to be hap
tized again ?" "No; but can You re
member anything about being baptized ?
"Of course I can" swell, what dit
the minister do to your "He shovet
up my sleeve and stuck knife in m,
arm.
A SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher was ex
planning chapter in Genesis to clas
OF boys. He asked: "Why did Han
laugh at his father, Noah ?" "Becaus'
he was drunk" "Yoa wouldn't laugh
at your father If he was to come hom'
drunk, would your" II never get th,
chance, sir. He comes home 90 late tina
I'm always asleep"
"ALwAYs keep in mind, Henry" sale
o wen-to-do Newark merchant to an agel
darkey, whom he employed in somt
temporary service, "always keep IL
mind that honesty is the best policy.
"Well, suppose it is, since yer say 30
boss, responded the relic, but I dom
recklect as I cher played dat combina
tion."
SAID Brown, who had Just returned
from visit outside between the acts
"Oh, darling, had such fright
almost took my breath away" "Dea
me !" exclaimed Mrs. B., turning he
face away, 81 wish il had, john" AM
John looked sheepish enough - he slyl,
inserted Glove in his mouth.
WHEN an Indian boy il born thu
medicine man looks ont of the door
and the first object he sees furnishes tn,
chid's name. II this rule were followet
in Hackensack, most Of the children
would be called d-Sidewalks,
"No-gas-on-moonlight-nights," +" Boy
with-a-C igsret," or "Stick- il. the Mud.
-Hackensack Republican.
! A couNTRYAAN who had selected
seat at the theatre from which he coul.
obtain good view Of the stage, wa
greatly discouraged when a young lad,
wearing q fashionable hat sat down il
front of him. He bore the affection il
silence AZ long - he could, and then
bending forward, said politely: Please
miss, would you be 20 kind - to lowe
your umbrella 2" She lowered il ami
the applause Of the audience.
Preparing fos Eternity.
/ (Trom the Nashville Bannsr.l
/ On the Nolensville Turnpike, abou
twelve or thirteen miles from the city
lives an old gentleman named Taylor
His family consists only Of himself ani
wife. Taylor 10 between 9xty aui
seventy years old. His wife il . few
years his junior. Recently the old mar