davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02

this effect far more frequently than does
the cruel and prosecuting husband. The
latter may lead his wife to wish that
she could run away, bnt that is mental
condition very different from the desire
to perfectly fly.
1t must not be supposed that the
woman who feels as if she should per-
fectly fly has the slightest wish to run
away from home. She does not want
to fly in that sense. Neither does she
want to develop wings and literally fly
away like the dove or any other able
bird. Could she formulate her feeling
In commonplace prose, she would prob
ably say that she wants to be at rest.
Nevertheless, this would not fully ex-
press her real state of mind. In fact, it
can not be expressed in language any
clearer than that which she instinctively
uses. To perfectly fly is not merely to
use wings, or to escape from house,
children and servants, Oreven to achieve
peace. 1t is process that is vague and
uniformed even in the mind of the woman
who most ardently and wildly longs to
perfectly fly, and the expression of her
desire is only a method of announcing
that her nerves are in a peculiarly ex-
cited state. Why she should associate
this condition of nerves with vague
idea of flying is mystery. Perhaps it
is owing to an unconscious mental as
ISOLATION of the act of flying away with
a subsequent state of rest-an associa-
ton due to the passage of Scripture in
which the Psalmist expresses a wish to
fly away and be at rest. Perhaps it is
owing to the secret and habitual convic-
ton of most women that they are most
angelic when they are most dissatisfied
with the world, and that as first cousins
of the angels they ought in strict justice
to be supplied with wings, and granted
complete liberty to use them.
Painful as the mental condition of her
who wishes to perfectly fly must neces-
sarily be, it is nota dangerous one. 1t
rarely lasts beyond a few consecutive
minutes. This is merciful provision
of nature, for life would otherwise be
uncomfortable both to the woman herself
and to those around her. Anything
which suddenly abstracts her attention
from her latest and most eXasperating
annoyance will cause her instantly to
abandon all thought of perfectly flying.
If the troublesome children are promptly
carried off to bed, if the trying servants
are put out of mind by the arrival of a
visitor with a new and interesting dress,
or if the exasperating husband exhumes
new bracelet from his pocket, the wife
all at once finds life endurable. Per-
fectly flying becomes as unattractive to
her as six-day pedestrianism, and she
finds within her grasp the rest which q
moment before had seemed unattaina-
BILE except she should first perfectly fly.
-Hdrper's Bazaar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02
PITH AND POINT.

-Eloquence is the best speech OF the
best soul.
1t is difficult for woman to keep a
secret, and know more than one man
who is woman.-LG FontGine.
The average man is supposed to lose
six cuff buttons per year, and he is just
mean enough not to throw away the old
ones so that the finder can make pair.
Detroit Free Press.
1.-THE astronomers at Harvard Uni
versity have figured out that the comet
went around the sun at the rate of 400
miles second. Probably the sun had
bill against the comet. y Chicago
Tribune.
An English woman says: "English
women can't hold candle to French
women in the matter of flirting" Per-
haps if they could it would throw some
light on the subject.-Norristoa01
Herald.
goes limping through life with a
wooden leg. What a bonanza the owner
would have if he could turn that leg
into pump and make the animal stand
in stream of water while he was milk
ing.-N. Y. AdUertiser.
Orchestral players are getting to be
intolerably conceited. The piccolos are
dreadfully heightened, the trumpeters
are always blowing their own horn, the
fiddlers complain that they are SUBJ
jected to such violint exercise, and the
drummers are all on strike.-N. Y.
Post.
"A great many things are accepted
by US as matter of course in this coun-
try. An Austin notary was called to
take the acknowledgment of a witness
to a deed. He wrote out: ttTo me, well
known, personally appeared - by the
way, what is your name, anyhow?"-
Texas Siittings.
Which arm-the right or left
should be given lady when walking in
a crowded street?-George. In Phila-
delphia and other orderly cities give her
the right arm, so that she may not be
jostled by the passing crowd. In Chi
cago and St. Louis give her the left
arm and carry your right hand in your
pistol-pocket.- Philadelphia News.
-'sWhat makes you ask such a high
price for this little roomp" asked Ko-
siusco Murphy of an Austin landlord.
"Well, there is a young man next door
who plays on the ACCORDION. You don't
expect to have your innermost soul
stirred up from the bottom every even
ing and not pay anything for it, do you?
He sings, too!"-Teras SJtt'ags.
"A great many of the scandalous
stories current are built on this formula:
-s'I say, mother, John told me that he
heard Mr.. johnson say that Mr.. Handy's
aunt was present when the Widow
Burnham told Captain Balls cousin
that old Mrs. Oxby understood that
Sam Trifle's wife said, in so many
words, that her mother heard on the
best of authority that you weren't any
better than you should be. If I were
you l should look the matter up, for the
thing comes pretty straight, you see."-
". Y. Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02
A Florida Alligator Story.

Jim Russell, son of Maj. Russell.
famous during the Florida war, now
makes a precarious living in South Flor.
ida as a guide to visiting sportsmen.
For bonus of 50 Jim will dive into the
current of the muddy St. John and bring
up an alligator. He actually brings
them out of their holes. Strange as this
may seem it is the safest way to ap.
proach an alligator. They dig holes in
the river-banks just below the surface of
the water, and crawl into them. Jim
dives down, crawls in rapidly, and
seizes the saurian by the tail, who,
startled, Immediately backs out. Jim
holds on, keeping his legs stiff till clear
of the bank, when ne darts away, ard
the gator, rising to the surface for an
instant to see what is the matter, is
slain by waiting gunners in the boat.
This has become common sport on the
Upper st. John River.-Jackscuui1ls
Fin. J Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

The apple strip works at Albany,
NY, started by men from Holland, have
commenced to ship apple jelly in casks
to Holland.
"A machine for counting sheep has
been invented and put in operation in
California. 1t is placed in an opening
of fence and registers every sheep that
passes it.-San Francisco Chronicle.
Experiments with q submarine tele-
phone were made the other day at
Havre, in France. A ship was sent out
a considerable distance on the ocean
with wire, and the result proved that
the voice can be transmitted under wa
ter more distinctly and loudly even than
on land.
Charles Jenney, a Detroit boy, nine
teen years of age, has invented an cleo
trio lamp and generator that has been
pronounced a success. Some Indiana
capitalists have taken the young man up
and built for him a factory 30x90 feet in
dimensions, given him a 1OO-horse pow
er engine, and hired thirty men to work
under his guidance.-Detrot Free Press.
Water mixed with ice gives the best
temper to steel. One may insert some
small tools to advantage in a lump of
ice, as jewelers. and watchmakers do
when they temper them in sealing-wax.
Often oil is used, and is preferable to
water, because it is not so easily evap.
GRATED. Damascened blades are tenn
pered in a strong current of cold air,
passing through narrow chink, tenn
per more uniform than with water be-
ing thus obtained.-St. Louis Globe. 10
"A chemist in Philadelphia claims to
have discovered that the blue fire, long
used in pyrotechnic displays, is an ex-
plosive of terrific force. 1t is, he says,
even more powerful than nitro glycerine
and half again of the power of dyna-
mite. The substance has been in con-
slant use for many years, and has never
been known to cause any trouble, unless
it were the fire at Chester last year. To
produce an explosion it must be subject
ed to extreme heat, followed by concus-
sion. 1t is safer than nitro-glycerine,
because if it falls to the ground there
will be no explosion. One can strike a
mass of it with hammer and only that
portion directly struck will detonate,
and then only slightly.-Philadelphia
Record.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02
On Perfectly Flying.

When a woman exclaims: 81 feel as
If l should perfectly fly" she expresses
a state of mind easily compreheuded by
mon, as we'll as women.
1t is only the nervous woman who de-
sires to perfectly fly, but as nearly all
American women are nervous, it is very
seldom that any one of them passes
through life without this desire. Men
never express like desire, but many OF
them are familiar by experience with
precisely the state of mind which in a
woman leads her thoughts in the direc.
ton of perfectly flying.
The confirmed smoker who has been
deprived of tobacco for twenty-four
hours feels wild restlessness which
amounts to positive torture. The ex-
trenity of every nerve in his body seems
10 him to be laid bare. Everything tor
n,ents him. His best friend, even his
wife can not speak without irritating his
nerves. The slightest noise maddens
him.s In the chaos of mental misery in
which he is plunged he has only one in
eelligible idea-tbe thought that he wants
90 be let alone. He does not think of
putting this in practice by shutting him.
self up in his room, or by wandering
away to some lonely place. On the
contrary, he usually PAGES the floor in
the presence of his panied and awe
struck family. What he really wants to
do is to perfectly fly, but being man,
he has neverythought of himself in con-
nection with wings, and never dreams
of saying that he 'sfeels as if he should
perfectly fly" Yet his nervous condi-
don is precisely the same as that of the
thousands of women who daily use that
forcible expression.
Various causes produce this state of
mind in women. Perhaps in the greater
number of cases the children are the
moving cause. When they have per-
= sistently irritated her for hours by noise
and awkwardness, when they have vain
Nv been told to ''don't' for scores
of times, and when neither affection nor
remonstrance, nor the awful shadow of
the impending slipper has any effect
upon them, the unhappy mother is
seized with mighty longing to perfect
yy f1y, and mentions the fact with tre-
rnendous energy. The servants are also
uoteat factors in awaking this longing.
The gentle and patient housewife who
has borne meekly with the stupidity of
fHe cook, the laziness of the chamber
maid, and the impertinence Of the wait
er. is suddenly oppressed with feeling
a, At she can endure no more, and must
instantly and perfectly fly, lest she be-
come hopeiessly insane. Husbands,
500. even when well-meaning,- do their
share in bringing their wives to this
state of nervous irritation and utter
hopelessness. A husband who will not
understand an interesting anecdote con-
corning the young man who is visiting
Che Young lady on the opposite side OF
.ha Street, and whose sister has friend
connected BY marriage with the family
tbat. formerly boarded in West Thirty
sixth street, need only remark in an alb
sent sort Of way, "WhatP" "Ah. yes!'
s<Who did you sayp" to reduce his wife
To the verge of perfectly flying. In fact
she kind and stupid husband produces
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02
California Marriages.

In all cases the expense of the mar
rage should be borne by the BRIDE $
family, who are tacitly understood to be
getting the best of the bargain.
In cases where the bride had been
twice divorced previously, or is little
off-color, so to speak, quiet marriage
by Justice of the Peace is best. His
regular price by law is two dollars, but
if the bride is a regular customer he
should knock off twenty-five or fifty
cents, according to circumstances.
In case the bride occupies pretty
good position and her friends are ex-
pected to come down handsomely, the
letters sep. p" meaning policeman
present." should be appended to the
invitation. This will insure safety for
the napkin rings and sets of spoons,
though relative of the family should
always be detailed to watch the police.
man.
The Van Ness avenue custom is for
the brides father to place some Govern
ment bonds or check for $4,000
among the presents, it being point of
honor with the groom to let it alone
after the ceremony until the old gentle
man can take it back or tear it up. 1t
is always best strictly to regard this, as
it is awkward to present the check at
the bank and be told that there are no
funds.
In writing out an account of the affair
for the newspapers, the bride should al
ways be referred to as "5lnshing.'' 1t
is always we'll to make this kind of a
bluff, as it looks well and nobody can
DENY it, even if she has not been known
to blush for years before.
In case of a marriage by clergyman,
courtesy demands that the groom pre-
sent him with five dollar bill. Cour-
tesy gets cleft" however, very often
since stocks are down.
If the groom be over sixty and the
bride under twenty, as is often the case
in San francisco, she should never pre-
sumo on any occasion to forget the re-
spect due to age. The custom here is
always to refer to him jocularly when
he is present as ''yOu wretched boy"
and when he is absent as ''grandpa."
References to the past should always
be mutually avoided in second mar
riages, as comparisons of this kind are
odorous. -t..
When the husband is kept late at the
office and comes home tired, with his
ewes crossed and pensive expression,
the wife should never permit her feel
ings to get away with her. In case he
should hang his boots on the hall-rack
and place his hat outside the bedroom
door to be polished, she should reason
gently with him and use no argument
stronger than a club. .
In preparing the family register the
names of former husbands or wives are
not inserted, nor are any offspring OF
previous marriages referred to, save in
separate-progeny ledger devoted to
that particular venture.
The tin wedding, which used to take
place at the end of five years of matri-
monv, is obsolete in California, having
been replaced by the silver wedding at
ding now takes place at the end of one
year, and if the parties are living to-
gether on speaking terms at the end of
that period it is season of rejoicing.
These reunions are very rare, however.
San Francisco Wasp.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02
Three employees of a large Phila-

Three employees of q large Phila-
delphia wallpaper house had for eight
years been in the habit of stealing $500
wo tn of stock weekly. Their pecuia-
lations, therefore, amounted in all to
about S12I, 500. The fact that the en-
ployees could have concealed their evil
deed for so many years will be lost sight
of in wonder at the rate of profits made
by a concern that experienced no incon-
venience from the loss of Sl5,6OO per
annum.-C Chicago Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02

An odd monument has been erected
in cemetery at South Hadley. Mass
The trunk of shattered tree is repro.
duced in marble, with ivy winding
round it, and an inscribed open book
perged to the bark. From hole peeks
a squirrel, and on branch sits a dove
looking down on two eggs in nest.
The lot has posts representing stumps
of small trees.-M Y Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-11-02

The poet Whittier is TO spend the
winter in Boston. .z
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1882-08-10
HERE AND THERE,

There are 10 600 people in attendance
upon II camp meeting at Lancaster,
Ohio.
Now that Miss Claxton has been up
set from IL boat Off Paichogue and came
very near drowning. she hopes the fire
stories have at last been extiaguishcd.
There is Il good chance now to get a
trip to Washington If you didn't see
the star reuters steal OF didn't hear
them c"nspire you would make wit
ness for the defense.
Inter Ocean: Georgia boasts of man
who can yell so as TO be heard distinctly
five miles. If that man was in Illinois
we would move 20 nominate him in the
place of Bill Springer.
Fashion note from the interior of
Georgia: The country is full of cheap
pistols, and negroes and boys think they
are not well dressed unless they are Or
namented with Il repeater"
The confession of st. Louis firm that
it makes three hundred thousand pref
zels day would seem to justify the sus-
picion that somebody is succeeding in
eating them. They certainly don't wear
out when used as lunch counter bric-a-
brac fast enough to create such de-
mand.
There are good prospects for the coun-
try. a recently arrived immigrant,
filled with a commendaole spirit of re-
form, has just announced his willingness
to become candidate for the presidency,
agreeing TO conduct the affairs Il that
office tor 500 per year for each state
This beats the beating reformer.
The manufacture of peach baskets has
become an important industry, Years
ago the baskets were made by hand, and
inasmuch as they cost from % to 80
cents, the loss of any considerable num-
Der of them was a serious matter But
the establishment of great factories, re-
quired by the growth of the peach trade,
has reduced the price to moderate
figure, varying from SOTO So u hhndred
Along the Peninsula railroads there are
now eight or nine basket factories, each
making from $500 to 1900 baskets a
day during the busy season. The bot
toms and hoops are made of Maryland
pine and the slaves from the Delaware
gum tree.
Charles Dovey, a commercial travel
Ter, whose home is in Philadelphia,
was agreeably surprised on Saturday by
receiving by express valuable gold
watch which he had handed to Jesse
James in June, 1880, at the laiter's re-
quest, a loaded revolver being one of
the arguments used by Mr.. James. At
that time Mr.. Dovey had charge of a
cosLmining company's Office in Ken
lucky, and the unexpected visit of Jesse
James and his three confederates was
made on pay day. 1t happened that the
money had been delayed on its way
from the bank and the robbers only got
few dollars and Mr.. Dovey's watch,
which has just been returned by Mrs
James with the following note: "Kansas
City, June Is, 1892 Mr.. Chas. Dewey
Dear Sir: Enclosed you will find a
watch. II it is yours please send me
| by return mail n receipt for the same
Yours respectfully, Mrs. Jesse James. u
Mr.. Doyey is informed that Mrs. James
is making general restoration of the
stolen property LETT by her lamented
husband, so far as she can ascertain to
I - -
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1882-08-10
Newspaper "Reminiscences
Hiayyatna World

Rev. ]. w. Roberts, for twenty-five
years editor of the Oskaloosa Independ-
ent, has recently retired and given place
to his son, +. II. Roberts. The elder
lin two senses) writes friendly letter to
Sol Miller in which he says:
But your notice called up old assOcia-
TONS When I came to Kansas you
could count the newspapers upon the
thumbs and fingers of the hands; and
of the editors then in the harness, there
still remains yourself, Col. John A.
Martin, Jake StOtler, Dwight Thacher,
John Speer, Col. ID. X. Anthony, and,
believe, L. g. Ross; and then little
later came D. w. Wilder, Nj. NJ. Muir
dock, G. w. Martin-and these are still
in active work. Death has certainly
dealt kindly with the old guard; and
in retiring from the front myself, the
parting with these old WORTHLESS carries
with i; feeling of sadness much akin
to that which we realize when separat-
ing from the friends we love, or the
companions of our youth.
l doubt if worthier band of journal
lists, all in all, can be found anywhere
than these old veterans of the Kansas
press and there are many like them, of
the later times, in our young state.
shall never forget my association, edito
rial and personal, with them.
To this Mr.. Miller replies, closing as
follows:
In speaking of the older editors, Mr..
Roberts places ID. II. Anthony among
the first. He really came into the edi-
torial business after Wilder, and George
w. Martin, and Marsh. Murdoch.
Death has, indeed, as he says, dealt
kindly with the old guard. just now,
we can think of but one of The old fell
lows who has gone under the sOd-the
eccentric, but noble R. B. Taylor, OF
Wyandolte. Yes, and there is poor
Cummings.
Let all that is unpleasant go 10 sleep
with the bygones. We wish Bro. Rob
eIts luck and long life, wherever he
may go. We can think of but twice
that We met him, but hope to do Sc
again. We sometimes think that we
too, shall want rest some of these times
After twenty-five years more OF hard
work VIC hope TO be able to take play
spell. And when we do "knock off, we
don't know but that it will be pleasant
to have kindly goodbye from the old
bows
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1882-08-10
why She Couldn't

"Back, say!"
The silvered foam of the sea was
splashing in rythmic cadence on the
white sands of the beach, while here and
there fleck of wavering light from the
signal buoy on Sardine shoals-that
dreaded spot beneath whose treacherous
waves so many goodly ships freighted
with precious burdens from far Cathay
and Muskegon had disappeared forever
brought into bold relief against the
western sky, GIrofle McCIosk's off foot
as she stood by Bertram Perkins side
that soft June evening.
you do not love me-" said the girl,
speaking slowly, cor you would not
speak SO cruelty. On this beautiful night,
when the hills are suffused with amber
haze, through which the stars glow and
throb in silent sple1dor, we should think
of naught but love-pure, passionless
love, that will bind our hearts together
in chain whose every link shall be a
kiss; whose every fold sweet caress."
For an instant the man did not reply
Then the girl stretched forth to him her
bare white arms that giistened like mar
bic in the growing dusk, but he heedec:
them not.
"WiH you not speak to me, sweet
heart ?'' she said, an infinite paihos in
the words.
No answer came Again the out
stretched arms pleaded mutely and will
pItiful eloquence for the joy that wal
never TO be. Looking at her with 4
naughty, almost Vice-PresIdent Davi.
expression on his face, Bertran again
said: Back, / say
With despairing CLEAN in her dark
some eyes, Girofie turned away and be
gan To sob as ii her corset would break
''God help me-" she said, IN despairint
accents, IL cannot back"
"Why not ?" asked Bertram
Because" was the reply in tear
stained tones, "my poionaise is toD eteT
| naily tight'-Ffom whoa, Emma, !" bl
| Murat Haistead.