Morris tribune., 1882-03-30
LOCAL ITEMS.
Extra copies of the Tribune are on sale
at the Metropolitan Drug Store.

We may be allowed to remark that spring
has sprung.
Thrifty farmers are putting on their
high water pants and getting their seeders
ready for spring work.
Yes %Josephus, "a jam in the closet is
worth two in the crack of a door" Your
head is level precious one.
1t casts $500 dollars for a liquor license
in this village now. A petition was circu.
lated Saturday to make it 81 200.
DR.. and Mrs. Hale arrived Monday
morning and nave taken up their residence
with Rev. and Mrs, T. c. Hudson.
The infant child Of Mr.. and Mrs C. L.
Brown, that has been i'll for sometime past
with diphtheria, died Tuesday evening.
Regular communication of Golden Sheaf
Lodge, No. 1873, A. F. and A. NJ, on Sat.
urday evening next. Work in NJ. NJ. de.
gree.
The trains continue to arrive and depart
with commendable irregularity. If they
tried to be off time they could not do
better than they are
Owing to the blockade and delay in
trains the travelling public have been kept
busy of late cussing the railroad company
and growing at the elements.
Mr.. j. P. Wells, for some time past a
resident of Morris, accompanied his
brother, Mr.. W. Wells. on Il trip through
Northern Minnesota and Dakota
Mr.. D. r. Wheaton lodged the issue
of the customary cigars-hy keeping secret
the fact that u little daughter had arrived
at his residence a week or two ago.
The reported pooling Of issues between
the St. P, NJ. 6 N. and Northern Pacific
rtiirnad companies. has been a prominent
topic IF conversation during the past few
d vs..
Aman who had faith yesterday that the
water frozr sufficiently in ore night to bear
up his weight, is ready to make affidavit
as soon AS his feet are dry-that he was
mistaken.
Elsewhere appears a professional card
from Mr.. J. A Giltinan. who will now
engage in the active practice Of his pro
~fes>ion, and we doubt not will merit and
meet with a lucrative practice.
No more will the creaking of the rail
road company's wind mill disturb the slum
hers of the v~irtuous residents of lower Pa
citic avenue. The mill has been torn
down and shipped away TO do the mid
night screeching act and startle the slum
bers Of some other community.
Mr.. Willmar Wells, of Montreal, was in
Morris last week, on his way through the
Northwest, inspecting the country with a
lew to finding a suitable opening fer the
investment of capital. Mr.. Wells was
much pleased with this section, and will
probably visit us again in the summer, OF
definitely.
"Dost know my ownest own, what, of
all outward things, is nearest to my heart
of hearts: Speak fairest %Imogene, my
alSttlS ioSFu plC SlSah. Sulu d No"i
!owu Romeo to his Juliet as they st or
one chair the other evening. We'll, n
you know beans sonny," said Imogene
you'll hoist aboard a chest protector thi:
changeable weather."
Two gentlemen, the Messrs. Hunter, oil
Baltimore, Maryland, arrived here the frs
of the week, and VIC learn one of the gen
tleluen contemplates opening a machine
shop at this place. Such an institution
would be a bonanza, as it is sadly needed
and we doubt not Mr.. Hunter would nee
/ with many announcements, as he has hat
several years experience, is a good work
man. and comes we'll recommended.
l: is a base Islander to Say that the rail
road company have hired Il couple of GU
human talking machines to supply wind t,
the tank pump, now that the wind. mill i
gone. Ii is true that the Windmill use,
to give out once in a while for lack o
wind, aud it is also true that our h. t. IN
> have never been Known to stop anyhow
tut this don't count, the wind. mill alway
worked when it could, while the h.. t. m
were never guilty of anything Of the kind
As the tramps are being fired out of tn
e cities we may look for an influx of thi
undesirable class of citizens. Howeve
they don't come to stay, us western O
for this species Of the genus homo. !
tramp who came to Morris a year or tw
ago Was deemed so much of u curiosit
, that he was planted, but he never sprouted
specimens upon which to experiment
This ma be a lie but it will do 10 scar
with
rhn>e of OF readers who have digestc
q much of the foolishness with which thi
journal las been afflicted during the pa,
four years, will be delighted to learn ti,
a new order of things are to shOrtl
transpire. when it is hoped that the man
patrons of the TRIBUNE. or at least thos
who have survived. will be spared simils
~weekly-with an ''a''-doses of nOnsens
m cal nonsense. Some of our disguise
II friends suggest a watch or purse of none
for the retiring editor, not as a mark 4
esteem and appreciation, but as a than
offering, or good radiance memento.
Mart Wobber is kept busy explainin
: nowadays how it is that he is chassezin
round on ~crutches and looking as if /
was one of the veterans who fit in I'll
u r%cvlushun." We are not. quite clear ju
low it did happen, he had a miss unde
standing or his understanding missed {
d something or other gigged back as it wer,
r and consequently Mart.'s handsome ma
tial gait is transmogrifed into an amble G
the dot and carry one plan. In case this
~ not exactly clear to our readers we wou
add that Mr.. Weber had the misfortui
to severely sprain an ankle last week.