The Portland daily press., 1882-10-20
How a Reporter Got Shaved.
[Chicago Herald
Go and get shaved"

go and get shaved"
Thus the city editor to the reporter, who
made his appearance yesterday morning with
beard of several days unrestrained growth
upon his chin.
sect shaved?"
eyes, and as it is a good while since you
were last shaved, the experience will probably
be sufficiently novel to inspire you with ideas
for an article on BARRIERS"
This was intended as sarcasm, but the re-
porter bore it meekly and went his way to
"tonsorial parlor." AS he entered each barber
turned from his patient and gazed at him with
an air of languid curiosity. 1t was trying but
the reporter bore it with a courage born Of ne
cessity. AS he took seat and began to read
last years paper each barber wiped his soapy
fingers on his customers coat collar, and all
met in the centre of the room to consult about
his fate. They 'sized him up and compared
notes in an audible tone There were some
little differences of opinion on minor points,
but all agreed that he was a "chumpn By
this time two of the customers had each smoked
whole cigar, another had read q newspaper
all through and had been looking at some old
mail in his pocket book, and the last had turned
over comfortably and gone to sleep. He was
awakened by having brushful of ather thrust
into his mouth, and soon all four artists were
again at work. The man and brother by this
Time mao DlacRou Un0 reporters 6A0eS without
his knowledge, and assessed him ten cents.
The searcher after truth took in the progress
of the work to discover in whose hands his
fate would be. None of the artists seemed to
be in hurry to get through, and the CUSTOM
ers were not particular either. The waiting
man did not want to fall into the hands of the
hend at the end of the row. He was an emas-
culated STRIPPING of twenty-five years. was slow
in movement and ungainly of figure. He kept
his mouth externally open, and his face wore
about as much expression as the portrait of
Min in the Exposition gallery. His shirtband
and collar were SO low that every time he took
a long breath his liver pad could be seem 1t
was evident that he had breabfasted on garlic
AS fate would have it, he finished before his
brother artists, and the reporter was obliged
to take the chair. Before he went in he hand
ed the gloating wretch shest of copy paper
on which was written:
"lwant o close shave. I am in hurry. Do
not put any oil or grease upon my hair. never
use bay rum or cosmetics. Please comb my
hair up and back L do not wish my hair cut
or trimmed. do not want any hair tonic or
skin medicine / have not heard the latest
news from Egypt, nor don't want to. care
nothing for politics or crime or society. / do
not want shampoo or bath. do not care
for stock or market reports. / am not stran-
| ger in the city, and l am not going to the ball
| this evening. l am professor in a deaf and
dumb institute, and 1 am glad of it. Go ahead
| and shave me"
l Wnen tn6 bOnSOrlaI arJlSL naO managed TO
| decipher this epistle, he gave despairing
| groan and BEGAN his work in mechanical
way, stopping once in o while to look for di-
rections on the sheet of paper. Several times
| he got ready to ask question, but remembered
| the admonition with grimace. However, he
unburdened his mind to his fellow-workers,
and the remarks made about The reporter sa-
| vored strongly Of personal criticism. When
the torture was finished and the artist had
placed a court-plaster asterisk on his victims
IAts, I, L. -
| jerk, placed Decent check in his hand and
gave him push towards the cash desk. The
reporter paid his check, evaded the boy with a
| whisk broom, and vanished upstairs