Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-02-21
TIE BEST COLLATERAL.
| What Transpired Among Five Gentlemen
at the Southern Hotel.
IGreat Bend (Kan.) } Inland Tribune

IGreat Bend (Kan.) Inland Tribunel
While awaiting the arrival of the east
bound train the other day, four commercial
travellers were amusing themselves By relat
ing anecdotes at the Southern Hotel. They
were joined by Max Mayer. an eccentric gen.
tleman with philanthropic mission. At the
conclusion of good ore by the boot and
shoe man, about man who jumped his board
bill and left only paper collar and yellow
back novel as collateral, Mr.. Mayer said the
story reminded him of the experience of
dentist in Topeka:
Not long since," said MIR. Mayer, ."an
Irishman walked into DR.. 5 dental rooms
at Topeka, with face much swollen, and an
nounced his intention to have the offending
molar extracted. Docthur," said he, Och,
sure, Docthur, dear, av yers plase be aisy wild
me now Sure, an it's meself that's kilt en-.
tirely. Och, rnurther but it hurts All
right said the dentist, we'll soon have
it out. just ait down in the chair Doc
One dollar, replied the dentist. 'Howley
murthsr!' moaned Pat, but I'll niver be
able to pay it at all. Docthur, won't yees
take pity on a poor divii and aise him for fifty
cints! IT'S all I've got The doctor con.
cluded he would, and went for the tooth.
After much hard tugging the dentist sue.
ceeded in extracting the tooth. Pat handed
the man of forceps 6fty-cent currency note,
and said he felt better. The doctor exam
ined the note and discovered it to be counter.
felt. Look here, Pat. this note is a coun-
terfeit = 'Och, sure, Docthur dear, it's me-
self that didn't know it sure, but know the
murtherin spalpeen that passed it on me. I'll
jist go, Docthur, an make him give me a
good '-an'-Docthu continued Pat,
pointing to the tooth, which was laying on
the table, 'Docthur, I'll iist lave that tooth
ss collateral while Pm gone p"
"Speaking of collateral, remarked W. W.
Maxwell, clerk of the Southern, reminds
me of the time I had the rheuu atisu !"
How in the name..of all that is ingenious do
you make rheumatism O collateral for any
thing 2" asked the dry goods man. EASY
enough" said Mr.. Maxwell. 81 had bad
cold-it left me, and the rheumatism was all
had to show for it." "Well, go on" said
dry goods, 81 suppose you have story to
tell. Let's have it." 81 had most infer.
knee. 1t kept me in bed for six weeks. l
used about everything under the sun to OBJ
tain relief. l suffered everything. Red-hot
iron applied to the flesh would not have hurt
worse. About the time that l began to seri-
ousiy entertain the thought that there was no
help for me l commenced to use the Great
German Remedy, st. Jacobs Oil. Well,
gentlemen. one bottle of that famous remedy
put me on my feet, and two more bottles
cured nae. 1t is just the best thing for pain
in the world-it is for fact. You can count
on it every time" 7" DO you really believe,
Mr.. Maxwell, Z" said the grocery man, THAT
st. Jacobs Oil cured you s' 81 know st.
jacobs Oil cured me" replied Mr. Maxwell
+" and | know it to be an unsurpsss ssed remedy
for pain"
sMr. Maxwell is well sustained in his be-
lief" said Afr. Mayer; " have interviewed
several hundred persons who have bt en- cured
of rheumatism aEd other pain By ST. Jacobs
Oil. Only to-day had a long talk with Mr..
S. A. Allen, one of your druggists, who said
that the demand for St. jacobs OIL is simply
unsquaIled. Pulling open door he showed
me the great rsmedy stored away in bottles,
and said that he did not keep it on the
shelves, because the demand was so great for
it he had to keep it in large quantities and in
receptacle Of convenient reach. Mr.. Alien
also said that the Great German Remedy
was not overestimated. He believed it
frst-ra.e remedy, and used it in his family.
It had proved capital remedy for sore
throat, spraius, etc. Mr.. Allen then told me
that o man who lives some distance in the
country from Great Bend relates a most won
derful experience with St Jacobs Oil The
man got his feet badly frozen during the late
war. At times his feet would heal up and
he would not be troubled for some month";
Then they would break out again and be as
bad as ever When this occurred he
could not walk. and his sufferings
were great. The fffiiction kept him poor for
fifteen years. It pursued him like nemesis.
When he got ahead little he would then
have another attack, and his means would all
be exhausted in trying to obtain relief. About
a year ago be heard of st. Jacobs Oh and
commenced applying it to his feet Less than
one dozen bottles completely cured him. He
has not since felt the first symptom Of pain,
and knows he is permanently cured. The
man, continued Mr.. Allen, seems greatly
rejoiced over his deliverance from the bondage
of affection whose yoke he wore for fifteen
years. Now. gentlemen" pursued Mr..
Mayer, the Topeka dentist had tooth and
a good deed as collateral for the work he did
Mr.. Maxwell has sound health for his invest
ment in st. Jacobs Oil, and the man in the
country now has good pair of feet under
him, whereas. for many years previous his
feet were as good as none at all. All three
are happy. and we will thus leave them.
Here's the bus. In we go. Tramp, tramp,
tramp, the boys are marching. Let us re-
member that good health is the best collateral,
and that st. Jacobs Oil will often guarantee
US It's possession