The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1882-04-23
Hints TO n Young Editor.

There are an astonishing number of people
who Imagine that the editor Is always suffering for
something to MI up with one of these would be
patrons of the press viii stroll into q sanctum with
something under his arm about the size and shape of
abottle wrapped up In an old paper, and, with the
air OF aphilanthropst bestowing aims mendicant,
will drawl out: Al thought you needed something TO
n up on, so have Just brought you something good
hand and has Just started In the business inter-
prets the remark of the wOuld-be patron TO mean
that the package under the intruder's is some
thing good TO eat or drink and is intended for the
inside of tho editor. Under this pleasing delusion
the green editors face lights up with happy smile,
and he reaches out for the nourshment, remarking:
" am very much In need of something to MI up
with, and there Is plenty OF room on my inside for
anything good you have got.''
Tho visitor, not catching on, replies: 81 am glad
TO hear yen say so. Please print this manuscript
sermon of the Rev. John Wesley Baxter, my de-
ceased uncle who recently eaten alive by the
heatlens on of tho South Sea Islands. The SER
mon will MI up four or five columns OF the inside OF
your valuable paper very nicely, You can give me
one hundred copies, and II not make any charge for
biographical sketch of myself
Now is tho time for the editor to act. II he hcsi-
ates he is lost. If the wOud-be patron is small man,
perhaps the best reply is to knock him down with his
uncle's sermon, aud cayOrt about ON his PROSTATE
body, after which anoint the scoundrel by pouring
the contents of the inkbot and tho pot over
his miserable head, and telephone for a policeman TO
drag him out That course may not make your paper
popular with the intruder, but II will give 1t boom
with the general public who know him. and save you
much annoyance In the future
III yOu do not desire TO resort to such extreme meas
ures owing TO the size OF the would be contributor
take the manuscript, look over 1t, count the pages
and the number OF lines on each page, multiply them
together, and then multiply the product by twenty
Ave cents line After you have done that, add ten
dollars for loss Of time In entertaining the hend who
wants to MI up you inside with manuscript sermons,
and tell him you will publish his effort when the cash
Is forthcoming, and not previously.
Tho young editor who does not adopt one OF these
courses Is lost. II he tells tho would be patron that
he Will publish II at some future day he Will do as
he did the patient hoy who sent to borrow some
CaDDer from nGlgnDOf, anu told thu, milk had
not soured yet The boy c0mpacentIy took n seat
and replied: +" Then III wait until II does. ~
Never make tho that the contribution Is too
long to appear In your paper for II you do he Will
sit down. borrow your scissors and pencil, and cut
II down to suit, or rather not to suit you Tho only
way to prevent your paper from becoming debili-
tated orphan asylum for tho feeble, crippled, and
Insane literary offspring OF every scribber IN tho
country Is to adopt ut tho beginning one OF the
| methods we have suggested. The success of news
paper depends as much ON what is kept out of Its
columns as what appears IN it.-TerdS SiftingS