The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1882-05-03
Ludicrous Incidents Of Solemn 0cca.
sfOus.

sions.
There is ludicrous side to griei, as
well as q pathetic one, and the disinter-
ested observer at funeral will often
notice absurdities and incongruities
lous from the trappings Of woe by which
thew are surrounded. We can imagine
the quaint expression OF sorrowful in
dignation on the face Of that little boy
who, while 'weaping loudly at his grand
mothers funeral, discovered that little
schoolmate who was presnt was also
crying earnestly. "Look here, he said
in an angry whisper TO the visitor,
'.whst are you crying for, she (sob)
wasn't your-r, you-r-r-r g-g-g-grsnd-
motherP,'
"I k-k-now It" answered the other,
shut can't f-feel b-bad too?"
"No you can't, responded the mourn
er, in q voice-th- nearly disturbed the
solemnities.
"Th-th-this a-:-at n-n-one of your
f-f-funerall" -f
Upon one occa son when q very flow
cry pulpit orator vas called upon to
make the final aG .rcss at the burial SER
vices of lady W was highly esteem
ed, he had forgo. on his notes, in which
! he had prepared peroration somewhat
after the style Of Edmund Burke when
he was describi Marie Antoinette.
Fixing his eyes Oh the bereaved partner
of the deceased, who was buried in
grief, the funeral orator began:
"When she who now lies so
peacefully before us first struck her hus-
band" here he paused and frantically
plunged his hands into his coat-tail
- La- H..
ssIt is falsei she never struck me, ~
shouted the angered husband.
But the orator paid no attention to
him; with glazed eyes and the perspira-
ton rolling down his face he continued
mechanically.
"First struck her -husband-er-er''-
then as his memory returned he went
on joyfully: '.First struck her husbands
young and romantic fancy in the early
dawn of love and hope" etc., ETC., and
the services proceeded without further
interruption.
For genuine wit as well as genuine
good feeling the Irish surpass all other
nations, and their funerals are both
fearful and jolly, for it is almost impos-
sible for an lrishman TO give an answer
to q solemn question without his mother
wit getting the best of him, and his
manner Is so indescribably dron it is i'm
possible not to laugh at him. A priest
who was officiating at funeral where
all present were strangers to him
leaned forward and asked of q man
near him If the deceased was brother,
not knowing the sex himself.
"No, your rivirence," answered Pat.
ga sister, then," said the priest, and
he was about to resume the services,
xrrho paA tnona1 - -,
pered: to-
''Nayther, your rivirence; the corpse
was no relation to me Mt all at all. )"
This was as particular as the sexton
who called out, "The second cousins of
the corpse will please come forward and
take their places.n At another funeral
the person in power announced that
s'the lateral branches of the corpse will
now join the procession"
A recent widower in this city, noted
for his fine personnel and .suavity of
manners abroad and the display Of
squire cus3edness" and animosity at
home, caused no end-of trouble at his
wife's funeral by his revelation Of nat
ural and acquired obstreperousness.
The friends who had charge of the SER
vices at the house had arranged the
handsome parlors to their minds, when,
happening to leave them alone . few
moments, they returned to find the car
pets covered with sheets, and were in
formed by the disconsolate husband
'sthat he didn't propose to have q mob
of people destroying his property"
Having dressed for the funeral with elab-
orate care, he informed the friends Of,
the last moment s'thst he wouldn't step
out of his room il he didn't have black
bordered handkerchief furnished. While
the ceremony was in progress and the
minister was delivering q fearful tribute
to the virtues of the young wife lying in
her coffin, the bereaved man steppedup
to friend who was leaning against
the marble mantel, and whispered:
"Don't lean on so heavily, 1t will cone
down If you do, and / can't afford to
have it smashed" -e
At the grave he gave himself up to q
paro4ysm of grief that was known to be
for the benefit of the people presenS,
and after returning to his desolate home
his first act was 10 throw the funeral
flowers out of the windows, declaring
they ruined the vases they were in and
Uttered up the rooms.
OF all things simulated grief is the
most absurd and the easiest detected. A
man who insists upon being buried in the
same grave with his wife and requires
two men to support him, while q third
holds his hat on his head, Is sure to
marry again within twelve-month, for
| such an emotional nature can not sx-
ist alone.-Detroit Post and Tribune.