The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1882-02-02

coyery when he applied steam to the
rail train, but the prophet Nahum,
thousands of years before, had described
lightning express train at night and
the Earring II the car couplings, as he
said: The chs riots y sll rage in the
streets, they shall jo~t!r one against
another in the broad wGr7, they shall
seem like torches, they han run like
the lightnings." Professor Morse
thought he was discovering something
when he invented tht electric telegraph,
DuC thousands of years before Job de-
scrlbed electric communicate, "Canst
thou send lightnings that they may go
ana say unto them, Here we are?'"
All the lawyers of the earth have been
Dusy, the BlackstOnes, the COkes, the
ClarendOns, the Hales, the Emmets, the
CuTrans, the Edmund Burkes, the En-
sklnes, the Rufus ChOatps, and all their
work, and Roman law, and all English
law, and all American law, and all the
laws OF the ages worth any thing are
rounded on ten laws recorded by an an
clent lawyer by the name of Moses. The
Bible authors, instead of being, accord
ing to IngersOll, ignorant and behind
the time, were at least four thousand
years before the time. After pIyjuU
all the batteries and leyden lars and
yOltaic piles and telescopes and micro
scopes and philOsOphic apparatus, and
advancing for thousands of wears. CO.
pernicus and HeTschel and Agas~iZ and
Silliman and Joseph Henry and Dr. Dra-
per have just come up with lutiquated
Job and old Moses.
Al the risk of spelling Mr.. IngeTsOll's
chief joke and raising his snarl, / must
take from him his fayOrite bone while /
show that there was no absrudity in
wOman's creation. The word i'm Gene
sis translated rib is general word
rgTsN
what part of his side. Without know
ing a word or a letter of Hebrew, mger-
soil sets himself to eXpOund Genesis. A
man might as well try to eXpOund So
phUcleS without knowing word of
Greek, or Horace without knowing a
word of Latin, or Jean Paul Richter
without knowing word of German, or
Shakespeare without knowing a word
of English. StupendOUs ignorance on
the part of Mr.. lngersOll not to know
that this word in Genesis means side
and not rib! Woman taken from mans
side. How any man who has a good
wife can owl at the neaTness and So
lemnity of the relation thus allegOrized
| can not understand. / will not quote
Matthew Henry's theory as to the way
she was taken from mans side. | think
she was taken from his right side and
under his right arm, that he mig Int fight
failing defense, that he might strike
down her assailant, that he might
avenge her honor. That is what makes
a man so unbOunded in his Indignation
| and so loud in his rage when his wife
| is spoken against. Malign him, tTaduce
him, slander him, and he may forgive
you. But assail the character of his
wife and you had better stand out of
the reach of his right arm. From his
side! That so they might walk the
path of life together. From his side.
| That when he steps into the billOw of
| trouble he may hold her up. From his
sidel That when they stand up by the
little grave he may sustain her, saying:
Mother, we shall get our darling back
again in the resurrection" From his
side! Beautiful, tender, glorious, pa
thetic suggestion. From his side. his
equal. From his side, his companion.
From his side, his joy, his pride, his
help, his sOlace, his charge, his better
SELF his choice as the best being in all
the earth. From his side, so that we all
thrill in sympathy when two who were
married at Bennington last Thursday
a week on the following day stood on
the wreck of the Hudson River Rail-
road train and threw theirarms around
each other in the flames and peTished,
last Monday carried up the church
aisle, those who had been the ushers at
the wedding the pall-bearers at the
funeral, and putting the twain into the
same grave. The conductor says she
might have been saved, for while his
limbs were pinioned only her dress was
fast. She would rather die than 90
away from his side. Nothing miTthful
in the Mosaic account to those who re-
/. member the two Christian old people
that sat at the heads of the table in the
old homestead Why did you put them
side by side in the chuTch-yard? Why
DO you think of them side by side in
heaven? When your days on earth are
done and you go up to join them, my
opinion is you will find them side by
side. Moses wrote a passage thrilling
with centuries of magnificent power
and rolling with eternal TeyeTbeTatiOnS
when he recorded that it was from
mans side that woman started, aHd no
one but a stark and bTazen-faced fool
will laugh at it. From his side, You
know the pathOs and the sOlemnity of
the Mosaic statement who have stood by
the caSket of a dead wife and taken up
the thin and wasted finger that was
round and plump when many years ago
you put the ring on it, and every unkind
word you ever uttered comes hack with
sting in it, and you fold over the still
heart the hands that have been so busy
for your welfare, and al the memories
OF your llI6 IuSn upon you III an agOn-
iZing farewell. The Mosaic account is
not so very laughable to you. From his
side!
IngersOll further declares that the
Bible lies because it says that when the
Jews went into Egypt they were seventy
people, and at the end of 215 years they
= came out and were found to have null
tiplied into three million, an impossible
increase unless there had been sixty
eight children in each family. Of
J course that would have been impossible,
But the Bible says they stayed in Egypt
: 43O years. so that the increase to three
l millions was the ordinary rate of in
crease Of population. In other words,
when the Bible says they were there 43O
years, IngersOll represents it as saying
1 2l5 years for the sake of making a
4 laugh about the over increase of pOpu'
9 latiOn. He throws away 215 years
r For the sake of appearing smart he cuts
: off from the Jewish nation twice as
much time as has transpired between
t the Declaration of Independence, in
9 1916 and 1882. A man who will do that
9 will do anything but give an honest
n ropragnnfofion nf 10 pibIa