Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-06-21
The Perfpatetic Bore.

WITH BARBER.
"Are not most BARRIERS pOets?'
81 am sure don't know, sir'
81 ask because / have invariably noticed.
while being shaved, fine poetic abstraction
come over Them"
Indeed, sir"
eyes, indeed. There you are-yo,sue got it
now. Didn't you notice how, when you began
to rub the lather into my chin with your fingers
and thumb your gaze became fixed. and, as you
looked out OF doors, you performed your Office
only in dreamy, Indifferent, perfunctory sort
of way?'
"No, indeed. sir"
AYE, but that is the fact. nevertheless. Again.
when BARRIERS leave their victims-I beg pardon,
their custOmers-with their soaped chins in the
air, do they not always tall into sort Of mclan-
chOly intrOspectiOn-'
a. what, sir?'
GA sort of dreamy languor, as they strop their
raZor?"
81 really can't say, SIR
"There; noticed it in you this very minute
The moment you took up the strop and made
one or two passes on it with the razor, poetic
film seemed to come over your eyes and YOU
apparently forgot that anybody was waiting to
be shaved. What do BARRIERS think about at
such moments? Politics? Love? The plot of a
play! Some crime they have committed in their
early youth?"
''I'm sure don't know, Sir"
"Ah, OF course not. 1t was absurd to ask In
those moments OF exaltation, | presume, you
Certainly, you are not thinking about the gen.
tleman in the chair. Indeed, 1 have known
| business men to come in, dash off their coats,
throw their hats down frantcally, unbutton
their collars and cry. Once over, in hurry, ,
and have seen the same phenomena repeated.
wonder If there is any lethargic, energy-sap-
ping force in the razor strOp, or in the soap It
self"
II am sure can't say, sir"
mo, no; of course not. But here is some
thing you can tell me. How is it that when you
go to wash customer face with bay rum you
| wet only two inches Of the corner OF the towel,
and make up the deficiency by dabbing him ali
over with your greasy hand?"
''Oh, guess all BARRIERS do that sir.''
81 know they do, my dear fellow. That is
why l should like to know the origin of 80 uni
versal a custom. Is it in your articles of agree
ment? Does your boss require it Again. in
shaving him under the lip, why do you-whv do
you-feel his lips with the tips of your soapy
is it?" ' '''0 '' y '''' p'"'''''' why
''rm sure don't know, sir. Try our triple
extract Of Hair Producing Elixer Of Eden, sir %
Removes all dirt from the scalp at one appli-
cation, SIR"
''Yes. suppose So"
Better try it, sir: Hair is rather dirty, sir. :"
"Yes, know; like it that way!'
49,
WITH A BOOTBLACK.
Glow much have you made this morning,
johnny"
"Fi' pence"
''NO more?"
"NO."
"What do you generally get for sinner"
Looking up with the air of an appraiser):
Ten pnce."
"How is it you have only made i've pence this
morning, them"
"Oh, he was N. c.
s'Who?"
''The plum wot shined."
''Indeed! And do you shine plums?'
"Ah! Give us q rest. (TO q contexlerdte):
Shorty, got change fer a quarter"
WITH CAR DRIVER.
"Why do you always whip that near horse
my friend, while you do not touch the other3''
No answer. Driver puts quarter of q pound
Of tobacco in his mouth and flips the near horse
again.
81 say, why do you'-(question rcpeated).
ITO make him go, nv course"
"But he is going quite as well as the other
horse, and even better. You will observe that
the traces on his side are all taut. whereas those
of the Of-horse-"
Driver: 'Oh, you go to h-!"