Connecticut western news., 1882-08-30
THE LIME.KILN CLUB.
From the Detroit Free Press

After the thermometer had got settled down to mark ninety three degrees, and the door of the ante-room had been locked, the old man arose and asked:
 "Brudder Shin, how am de sacred b'ar-traps
 "Dey hang on de wall, sah.'
 ''Brudder Bebee, what of de sacred bust of Andrew Jackson ?'
 It sits on de shelf, sah.''
 librarian, what of de library ?''
 "De1, 700 almanaxs am we'll preserved, sah."
 'sJanitor, what of de stove?"
 s'De stove has seben cracks in it, and boaf hinges are burned off de doah."
 s'It am well. I now announce dis lodge open fur bizness on de 146th de- gree. Secretary, am dar any petishuns in red ink ?"
 THERE WAS.
 The Secretary announced the applica- tion of Judge Suspender Taylor, of Ma con, Ga., and the Rev. Callforth Davis, of Bristoe Station, Va. Both are emi- nent members of high colored society, and have been known to put on four clean shirts per week. z ELECTION.
 "Am dar any candydates fur de 146th degree?" asked the President as a shiver of awe ran down one side of the hall and mp the other and set Giveadam Jones to feeling for quinine pill.
 The Secretary announced the names of Commodore Stiff and Hon. Holdback Johnson, and added that they were waiting in the ante-room to be initiated. The officers donned their regalia, the Most High Reception Committee pro- ceeded to the ante-room, and the cand,- dates were brought in and put through the usual exercises. Although warned in advance by the janitor that they need not fear for their lives, the Judge tainted dead away during the tol ling of the funeral bell, and the Rev. Davis became so excited while in the hands of the Junior Warden that the rattle of his teeth was heard on the street below and was supposed by the police to be trial Of some sort of wart-removing machinery run by hand-power.
 THE HIGHEST DEGREE. 1 The 146th degree is the highest on which the Lime Kiln Club works, and the meeting opens on that degree only four times year. During the last three years only twelve candidates have presented themselves to travel the dan: gerous road, out of this number three were rejected on account of squint in the eye. The successful candidate fol the 146th must have record as pure i as snow and & character which would make him scorn a Congressional nomi nation.
 | REPRIMANDED.
 During the most solemn part of tn, ceremony, and while Pickles Smith wal as pale as death and Samuel Shin wal slipping peppermint essence to drowl his emotion and sweeten his breath Tunkahannock Hastings drew musk melon belonging to Prof. Flowers iron under bench and deliberately began devouring it by sections. As soon a the ceremony was concluded Brothe Hastings was called to the desk and fine, $6, GOO in cash and ordered to sit unde leak in the roof until the last meeting in January. The President said that member who would seize upon such solemn moment to gobble melon be longing to brother member and t smack his lips over the fruit until tn attention of the entire club was attracte from the business in hand, deserved t be escorted home by club, but h would condone the club this once on at count of Mrs. Hastings having spraine ankle.
 IT WAS CARRIED.
 When the President asked if the1 were any resolutions for the good of tn order the Secretary read the following
 WEARS, Owin' to de peculiar col struckshun of dis American kentry d weather am in the habit of changi1 about thirty-six times per day an , 7" WEARS, A majority of de member of dis club am allus mo- or less afhickte wid hard colds in de head an chilblai1 on de feet (much coughing and movin of feet); now, darfore
 ''Resolved, Dat from an arter dis O. cashun dar shall be an intermishun ( two minits at dis stage of de meetin' gin all af1ickted members an opportunit to alleviate deir afflickshuns." The resolution being supported l. twenty mine members in chorus, it W, put to vote and carried by unan , nous majority, Elder Toots being u | only member voting in the negativ, , The President thereupon announced tn the chilblain members could retire to u ante-room, and those afH icted with col' could remain and cough and sneeze , their hearts content. There was heart breaking time for couple of mi utes, and when order was restored u routine business was continued by cs for reports.
 THE WEATHER.
 VI IL