New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-06-26
effort to exclude tho state Of the weather from his

effort to exclude the state of the weather from his
thoughts. and reflect upon icebergs, cucumbers,
Quaker meeting btuses and cognate cool cOncretes
when on the elevated rosi in the horse-cars aboard
elevators at the street corners, friends and ac-
quaintances invariably lily hold of him with the
remark Z" Hot, isn't itv No, no. This hint is
as worthless the ,econd mortgages on
the Flanagan FLYNN Machine. When
the mercury is clibing ND among the
nineties no man, no matter how absent-mindcd he
may be in regard to other matters ever manages to
forget the weather. for it is persistently thrust at
him from all sides. II Congress in the exercise OF
wise discretion should pass law making the excla-
nation Hot, isn'tit capital offence it would do
much TO commend itself to the sober judgment of
the better element among the American people But
until Congress does interfere it is idle to counsel
melting mortal: Try not to think how hot it is"
And another of these hints that has large and in
fuential backing IL equally vain. We refer to the
hint, Always carry a cabbage leaf in Your hat dur
ing thaheated IL will keep the head cool and
prevent sunstroke" Statistics show that the ma
jority Of those who have been overcome by the heat
in our large cities and had TO be carried off to hos
pitfalls in ambuances confessed when they came to
that what allied them was sheer exhaustion follow
ing frantic efforts to hunt up cabbage leaves. The
cabbage leaf is not generally dused, and compare
lively small number of people live in the country
where they are raised markets where they
are kept for sale. The consequence is that
il is not easy for the average man
to act on this hint, and the realization Of this
fact is we'll calculated to render him hotter than
ever. 1t is only fair to add that not few young
gentlemen who have taken the hint and have laid
in large lot of cabbage leaves, after few days ex-
perienco with theseads to cool living have ncOnti-
neny hurled their entire stock into the street using
red hot explosives during the exercise They re-
ported that the effect perhaps pastoral but not
wholly good, of raising the hat to bow TO the lowell
est of her sex and not have the leaf ascend with the
hat but remain the head like outlandish green
nightcap. third hint about valuable as the
two We hayo just considered originated with
famous Engishman. He INDUCED in a wild yeaTn-
ing one sultry day to take off his flesh and sit in his
bones. The fatal criticism that can be passed upon
this hint is that like the Keeiy motor, although adj
mrabe in theory it Is extremely difficult 10 reduce
to practice. 1t resembles Oscar Wilde in that it is
too purely ideal for this world. 1t has its
analogue in some of the college
graduates that ere now so confidently
rushing upon the stage of action-they are
impressive, but they lack practically A fourth
hint was bestowed upon the world by Alr. A. Ward
But it was for the benefit of class and not for the
entire public He once explained that young lovers
ought to find difficulty in keeping comfortable,
even in the most torrid of weather. since any slight
misunderstanding could create a GOODNESS between
them. But since this hint was probably conceived
IN premedItated leyity decline to notice 1t.
A fifth hint is said to have originated with a metro
pOlitan Clergyman of by-gOne era, who was as
witty he wise. :" haven't seen you to
prayer-meetng this summer" he once remarked to
ore of his flock. " No, dominic" y was the reply; " it
has been to hot for me to atend.' " Too hot" re-
joined the dominic, his eyes all a-twinkle " where
will Won find a colder place than ono of our
prayeI-meetlngs ?" But since this hint involves
theological point pass it over to the distinctive
religious press without comment.
On the whole perhaps the best recipe for getting
along with the hot weather compounded by
Oshkosh philosopher. We read of him in a Western
paper one day last week. lie was travelling with
his son. and the yOungster. Frustrated by the sun
beating down npOn them they riding
a shadeless prairie. complained bitterly to his
father. I he parents heart touched. and out of
the depths of his loye--a love guided by level
charlottesville said to his son: "NOw see here,
Jimmy, just you take good grip yourself and
make up your mind that you'll stan it," There
may be a better hint of the kind If any of our
readers labor under the impression that they know
of better should be glad to have it left at this
office.