Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-25
The Great National Agricultural Comve,.
Western Rural, 23.1

The Great National Agricultural Co,,re,.-
tioM.
Western Rural, AL
The sturdy farmers of the nation re-
sponded to the call of Mr.. J. Il. Reall, and
assembled in Chicago last week. They
were all here, and we're easily distinguish
able by the fashionable cut of their pam
falcons, their soft delicate hands and plug
hats. large proportion of them carried
in their hands bean poles and fork handles,
which they used for walking sticks, and
wore upon their shirt fronts the sparkling
diamond which is now so commonly seen
among the great mass of American
farmers. Patent leather boots and massive
watch chains, together with carefully
waxed mustaches, were also frequently
seen among these hardy sons of toll, who
had gathered from their farms and stock
yards to discuss the important subject of
agriculture. 1t will not be possible for US
to name all who were present, or to give a
| full report of all that was said, hut the
great public who felt the earta heave
| when the convention was called to order,
and noticed the anxiety of a gaping world,
as it proceeded to business, will expect US
to say something. 1t is also duty We
| owe to mistaken people to disabuse their
minds of The suspicion that Venus recently
crossed the sun. What has been popu-
larry supposed to have been the transit of
Venus, was simply the shadow of the van
guard of this stupendous gathering of
American farmers in Chicago. Mr.. Real
IL - 10 l.:
stock in Mr.. Gould's building, in the center
of New York city, bought himself pair
fesh-colored kid gloves-now SO COM
| monty worn by farmers-and hied west
| ward to extend his bronzed hand to his
fellow tillers of the soil. In due time he
was followed by the entire Balance of the
country's yeomanry, and the concentrated
agricultural wisdom they represented was
emptied into one Of the elegant apart
ments of the Grand Pacific hotel The
convention opened by a speech from
farmer Harrison, mayor of Chicago, whose
agricultural attainments are second to
those of no man in the country, except
Reall. He bade the farmers welcome to
the garden city, where under his superior
management the soil lies in the streets,
and fertilizers are kept in old tin pans,
boxes and swill-barrels on the edges of the
sidewalks. He expressed a delight in
meeting all the farmers of the United
States in Chicago, and hoped that in their
deliberations they would consider some
means of a more perfect system of pre-
serving watermelons for winter use, and
improving the wool on hydraulic rams.
He hoped also that fair portion of their
attention would be given to cattle, he hav-
ing great interest in that branch of live
stock, owning some 5000 head
of breed which pedigreed back some six
thousand years, and which though naturally
vicious, he had taught to be perfectly
docile on election days, and to get along
without water, inside or out, from one
years end to another. At this point a
mule brayed in the street, and farmer Har-
rison, thinking it was Reall laughing,
ceased to speak, with some show of indig-
nation, and sat down amidst cries of 500
on! Go on" meaning that he should go on
his chair.
The speech of farmer Harrison was re-
sponded to by gentleman who was SO
overcome by the eioquence and practical
suggestions of our mayor, that his voice
frequently faltered with emotion, and the
president ordered that a couple of SCOOP
shovels be brought in, upon which the
speaker could be borne tenderly away, if
he should faint by the wayside. But he
continued until Mr.. Reall sneezed. when
with bewilderment pictured upon his coun-
tenance, and evidently uncertain as to what
really had happened, he sat down, which
? act was greeted with laundering applause
l from the millions present. It was soon
!, after this that farmer was introduced
who wore the uniform of United States
army general, and who committed the un-
pardonable blunder of going back upon
, his class, by asserting in the most solemn
manner that he was not farmer and did
not feel at home among his brawny asso-
i states. A railroad agent who was present,
shook the hayseed from his hair in bushel
basketfulls, and showed the utmost indip-
nation at the presumption of any one who
was not farmer, being present at all,
much less daring to address the farmers of
the United States who had gathered in the
Pacific Hotel. The general being the
only one present who was not willing to
admit thet he was farmer, found discre-
ton the better part of valor, and retreated
in good order to take drink. When last
heard from he was sitting on the curbstone
with an Indian, trying to negotiate treaty
of peace. There was no further unpleas-
antness resulting from this attempt to in
fuse foreign element into this famous
meeting, but Mr.. Reall has been severely
censured for taking the United States army
from the plains for such purpose. Farm
or Medill. of the Chicago Tribune, was
called upon, and made the astounding
statement that man to be successful on
the farm must know something, which al
legation caused the American farmers
present to twist their waxed moustaches
vigorously and to shake their perfumed
locks, while one whispered to another: We
are living Witnesses Of the falsity of that