Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-26
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! TIE original land league three
miles.
DoIs the night mail go by the bed
| post?
4 BUSIoN is spoken OF as nobby thing
| IN lovcllt shoes.
| STUFF and nonsense-A big dinner
| and the postprandisl speeches.
WHOM the gods love die young. The
gods do not love spring chickens
| @YoU are accused Of being a chronic
thief. What excuse have you got?"
; None boss, 'ceptin' chronic poverty"
| replied the Austin colored vagrant.-
1e.cds SVtjngs.
CARE you certain of securing The
diGdem?" asked the minister OF the
diving man. And when the man said he
''i''2' : want to diadem bit" the minister
;: i ,.a doctor few, and, as a natura.
= "Ire1ca, the man got better
..>.,.,, Circular.
- sEoULD so like to have a coin dated
- year Of my BIRTH" said a maiden
J. " Ct uncertain age to a male ac-
:. NICE. "Do you think Won conld
&c: enc for me?" II am afraid not" he
: replied, "those very old coins are only
to be found in valuable collections
IT is said that wire fences on farms
can be utilized for communication bv
telephone between farm houses, so that
farmers wives can visit with each other
without walking half mile. Yes, but
they can't borrow tea and sugar while
! they are visiting by telephone, so they
will never be succcss.-Peck's Suc.
II sEE," said old Mrs. Anchovy. that
they are making railroad car wheels out
! OF paper. What do you suppose that's
for, Mrs. Birdseye?' THAT, oh. I've
no doubt they are getting scared about
so many people being run over and cut
IN two endwise. and are trying to get
some kind of stuff that amt so danger
GUS. "-Cbeek.
LITTLE Freddie was undergoing the
disagreeable operation of having his hair
combed by his mother, and he grumbled
at the maneuver. "Why, Freddie"
said mamma, "you ought not to make
such fuss. I don't fuss and CIV when
my hair is combed" Eyes, replied the
youthful party, "but your hair amt
hitched to Your head"
Il HARDLY think we shall remain more
than week at Newport, as the Judge
> partial to mountain air." "Ihe
co queried Mrs. Slursling Il
1'9s ct aware, my dear madam, that
!c'1 husband had adorned the bench"
~ !: dear, yes!" smilingly chirruped
- Nlra. Scantwit; "why, he's been
',~~@ @'nios Judge of our town cleo
1t was warm Sunday night and
some Of the congregation in the little
church were slumbering languidly, ex-
cept one man who snored in manner
not at all languid. The preacher, OBJ
serving this, left his notes and said to
one Of the deacons in the front row:
will you please ask that brother to
stop snoring or he will keep other
brethren awake" The rest of the
sermon was listened to.-Chicngo
Cheek.
STRANGER, will you take hand with
us at poker?" asked couple of Austin
sports of a man recently arrived from;
Galveston. "Thank you, gentlemen.
but there are seventeen reasons why l
cannot accommodate you" what are
they?" well, first, I do not under
stand the game" "Why, that's the
principal reason we want you to play"
remarked one Of the sports, candidlv,
seeing that as, far as roping in that
stranger, the game was up.-Te1as
S1tings.
AN eccentric old gentleman who had
married his second wife, hoydenish
young creature, entertained party of
gentlemen one afternoon, and was much
chagrined by the non-appearance OF his
girlish spouse. Upon inquiring he as
certaincd that she was in the garden,
az d tAnreUpon invited his guests out to
lie Introduced to her. AS they rose to
f~":.t The invitation, his son, lad of
/, e:,cla med: "Don't do it, dad!'
WY not?" he asked, angrily. "Be-
eaas;,," returned the boy half apologet-
90 :, she's up cherry tree -
=. .h'H2s Eagle.
"IEAT's all internal nonsense!" re-
PHI, 4 the old man from Connecticut, as
the other asked him if wooden nutmegs
were ever really sold in that State.
i've lived there risin' of seventy-fve
years, and never saw such a thing in /.
all my life" "But there are stories to
that effect II don't keer for no
stories All there is to the hull bizness
is the fact that some Of our folks were
so hurried for time that they col,ldnt
wait for hams to grow, and made EN-
out O wood" "They did, eh!" "I ac-
knowledge they did, but the Lord never
laid it up agin old Connecticut-ne
AL them ere hams went to the heather
in Bost on. "-IYGl Street NerS
The following is furnished By teacher
in one of the New York City schools as
the first contribution to literature of one
of her pupils, a 10y 12 years old:
The COW is q domestic animal it is
f0,alad In l1a.c.St oil a,.a.fS, IL.