The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-01-19
FILLING A FOREIGN ORDER.

IL
finished reading letter he had just received
'my brother out West wants me TO by razor
strop, and suitable present for young lady,
and send them to him."
81 didn't know that a razor was suitable
present for young lady, replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, who was mixing catnip tea, and caught
the remark imperfectly.
at would be a suitable present for some dOd
gasted married woman, if it would sharpen em
up any, retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Who said
anything about razor strup fer young lady
What observed was, that my brother ont West
wants me To send him a razor strop, and pres
ent suitable for Young lady. Now, l can get
the strop, but don't understand what kind of
present he wants"
"Let me see," mnsed Mrs. SpOopendyke, her
shopping instincts rising to the surface. docs
he say what kind of a young lady she isl"
'.Nn, he doesn't" roared Mr.. Spoopendyke.
sfHe leaves something to the Imagination of the
reader. / suppose she's got arms and legs,
cause if she hadn't, he would probably have
mentioned it. What he wants is present for
an average woman. Now, ghat can We get for
herr r.
..if knew whether she was blonde or bru-
nette, could tell better what she would like"
replied Mrs, SpoOpendyke, who, like the rest of
her SEX always associates a woman with the
color that becomes her hest. "Do you suppose
he means something for her to wear, or some or
nament for he house. IOu see, | don't know
whether she keeps house, or boards, or lives at
home.'
what difference does that maker demanded
Mr. Spoopeudyke. "Shes probably human
being; but we will suppose she roosts in tree.
Does that help you anyi Can you think Of
something useful for female who lives in
tree, and hops with light-hearted skips from
bongl TO bough, like dod gastet crOwi'
.'YOu might get a toilet set" suggested Mrs.
SpoOpendyke, taking refuge in a woman's one
idea of an appropriate present for another wo-
man.
s.She don't want n toilet set snorted Mr.
| Speopendyke, ''any more than she wants the
chicken-pox. Iou want to think of something
that is pretty and ut the same time that she can
use Now think"
GLOW would one of the new painted porcelain
flower pots do :" vcntured Mrs. Spoopendyke.
That's it," howled Mr.. Spoopendyke; ga
flower pot with n measly saucer under it, to
plant the tree in, when il turns cold. That your
idea One with broken-legged bngs painted on
the outside, and hole in the bottom, 80 she can
use it in the spring for a spy-glass. That's the
idea 4 f0ur dollar flower pot for n six cent
rose bush, with the blind staggers and touch
of the pip. Where is the pot Fetch forth the
highly seasoned ilower pOt;' and Mr.. spoopen=
dyke leaned back in his chair, and gared at his
wife.
.'I1I tell you what will do, my dear" said
Mrs Spoopendykc, approaching the next sug-
ceStion cautiously. why not send an album y
s.You mean one of those books for lot Of
idiots to wish they were dead in? asked Mr..
Spoopendykc, suspciously.
NO" replied Mrs. spoopendyke, "a photo
graph album
..Dont want it," shifted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
contempfuously. lyon mean that sort of thing
that a girl always brings out after tea, and says:
| That's ma, and that's pa, and that's Aunt Vim
and her little boy and that's Uncle 81, and that's
| Aunt Flo. and that's Uncle jess, aud that's my
| niece Nellie, amt she sweet! And that's n dog
| we used to own, and l don't know who that is,
| and that's Clara Norris Don't want it." And
Mr. Sponpendykes voice rose to a steam whistle
1 pitch .'S'pOsc I'm going to intlict a suffering
| public with book full of old stagers that all
| look alike and have been in every measly albnm
| since Adam began TO wear pantsi Can't you
think of something sensible !"
a'Wouldn't half a dozen forks be nice,h fall
| tered Mrs Spoopendyke, almost at her wits ends.
..Just the thing gasped Mr.. Spoopendyke.
'.IIalf dozen pitchforks, and a ton OF hay.
| Then You might throw in an eight-day hen coop,
and a eat climbing over the hack fence. You
| have got ideas about such things. All You want
| is chin whisker and chimney TO be a dod
sasted Santa Claus With your intelligence on
/ these subjects, you only need n strike and glue
not 70 he TOW shop. I'm going to buy this
/ present myself" and Mr.. Spoopendyke shot ont
| of the horse, and tore down the street, with his
head sunk in his shoulders, and his fists in his
| pockets.
l.. an hour, he returned, all grins, and tossed
a parcel in his wife's lap.
Now, my dear, what do you think OF that
| he asked, cheerly.
Mrs. Spoopendy ke opened the parcel, and dis
| closed a hngc silk handkerchief, that would
have made tabernacle tent for a camp meeting.
| ''How did y0u come to think of IL u she asked,
holding it up admrinGly.
| 'sWhy,- replied Mr.. Spoopendy Ike, ''he said in
the letter, that if couldn't think of anything
else, 10 get handsome handkerchief. Here II
isl and Mr.. SPcopendyke drew out the letteI
triumphantiy.
s.Bnt he don't say handkerchief; he says a
nice handkerchief ring Here's the ring on the