The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-09-22
A good seud-off-Bouncing the hired

| Dep't'h . ~" loh tHC VIII
ter below the upper Genesee Falls. and
found it over seventy feet in depth He
made search under the falls for Sam
Patch's bones, but failed to find even
u yestige.
al didn't order that whisk- broom"
growled u man in Nassau street res
taUrant. yesterday. pointing to plate
the waiter had just brought. why,
that is not u broom, sir!" What is il,
then" demanded the guest. "Aspar-
ergrass." was the reply.
The Committee of tho British ROYAL
Humane Society has just had under in
vestigation large number of eases of
saving. or attempting to save. life from
various parts of the world, and has
made awards, six of the recipients be-
ing boys ranging in age from lG down
to IL wears.
A Hoosier youth named Gosley or
Gosling, probably the latter, saw a girl
ut church, cOurted her two hours, and
at the end of three was married to her.
A man who does up all his counting in
two hours and marries misses lots of
fun. It's like stufling himself with
peaches and cream in five minutes and
then have having dyspepsia the rest Of
the year.
Gozard is the name of town on the
Atlantic and Pacific railroad, San Fran
cisco mountain country, Arizona terri
;ory. This town is located in the very
heart of a dense pine forest, which will
produce millions upon millions of feet
If pine lumber. Already two saw-mills
have been put up at Gozard with 100
horse power engines.
The French scheme for making an
artificial sea in the interior of Africa has
been abandoned. The commission ap-
pointed to investigate the project has
reported that the inevitable cost would
De out of all proportion to the problemat-
zeal advantages, being somewhere in the
neighborhood of $250,000,O00.
A Russian Jew who went to Atlanta,
Ca, eight months ago with 81 in his
pocket is now building two neat cot
lagos on two city lots he has paid for.
He has family of five children, and
each one of them is worker, as is also
his wife. He averaged $50 per week as
tailor, and each member of the family
contributes something to the general in
come. Hence his prosperity.
If American ladies really want to
make the proprietors of the big dry
goods stores provide seats for the sales
women--Or salesladies, if that is the
proper term-they can probably do SO
by following the example of the London
ladies. In that city ladies sign and
transmit to the managers of shops where
they deal a petition asking that seats be
provided for the tired saleswomen and
gently limiting that their patronage de-
ponds upon the stOre-keepers acquies-
cence. The plan is working admir-
ably.
Rev. Henry Ward Beecher is adored
by the babies. l once saw him, says
correspondent, get in a pretty basket
phaetOn for drive with five-year-old
admirer, and before they had gone
block he had filled the phaeton with
half dozen dirty little street young
stcrs, from 2 to 8 wears, and. to crown
all, had 2 round eyed German baby on his
lap. sitting III passive enjoyment. and
unconscious of the undigniiied picture.
..Well," he said afterward, ..the poor
little toddlers looked so wishful at the
phaeton, and my little girl guest said
let's take 'em along"
A patent has been granted to the cele-
brated German. Herr Krupp, for new
sort of floating battery. This is design
ed for coast defense. The new battery
is circular in form, and is said TO COM
bine the greatest stability with the
greatest amount of buoyancy. The
buoyancy is produced by the use of air
rhn hoftar,, 70 nacil,- ,nnvn1
from place TO place. and is steadied by
ballast 1t is not provided with either
steam engine or sails, but il carries a
very heavy gun. 1t is designed to be
drawn by steam tugs.
OF Webster, the English actor who
died recently, it is related that one day,
when ut the point of death, two of his
old friends had called to see him.
The end, they thought, had come, SO
they reverently covered his face with
sheet and went down stairs to console
themselves. They found out his whisky
and Cigars and sat down to make u
night of it under the dead mans roof,
when suddenly the door opened. There
stood Ben. Websterin his winding sheet.
81 am not dead yet" chuckled the in
evitable old man, "but see you know
how to enjoy yourselves"
1t would be difficult to enumerate the
many and various uses of the cOcoanut
palm. From the juice of the blossom
and of the fruit the Singalese makes his
toddy; the milk of the nut is his bever-
age, and the kernel, besides the valu-
able oil it yields, is prominent rs an ar
ticle of diet. Even the refuse from the
oil-presses serves rs food for his poul-
try and cattle and, when partly decom-
posed, rs manure for the very trees
from which it came. The husks are his
fuel, the shells his vessels, and the coir
he finds suitable fibre for his ropes
and nets. The leaves provide him
with dishes, roof above his head and
a shelter from the sun; while slip of
the bark acts as simple bolt. After
all this array there is still the trunk,
which furnishes material for his house,
his furniture, domestic utensils, fences,
boats, and lastly his coffin.
II would like position" said mar
row-faced young youth to a merchant.
"You would, Ell? Well, just scoot across
the water, take the first boat for Alex
andria, and you'll find the Egyptian
situation still OPEN" "Why, what use
could they make of me over there?"
stammered the disheartened fellow: II
| amt mummy ''Truc," unused the
philanthropist; "but you'd make first
class ramrod for gun of small bore"
The young man discharged himself.
Sleepers: A sleeper is one who sleeps.
A sleeper is that in which the sleeper
sleeps. A sleeper is that on which tho
sleeper which carries the sleeper while
he sleeps runs. Therefore. while the
sleeper sleeps in the sleeper the sleeper
carries the sleeper over the sleeper un-
der the sleeper until the sleeper which
carries the sleeper jumps off the sleeper
and wakes the sleeper in the sleeper by
striking the sleeper under the sleeper,
and there is no sleeper in the sleeper on
the sleeper.
| The. Hon. Mr.. Sullivan: "Well,
think it is a shame" said Mrs. Shuttle,
as she threw down the newspaper.
"Here is Mr.. Sullivan, who wrote such
beautiful .Pinafore' music, fighting
right in public, and he lost the fight,
too" "Why, bless your heart, woman,
said Job, sit isn't the same Sullivan at
ALL" swell, what Sullivan is it?'
1t is Yankee Sullivan, man who has
been fighting these years and years.
And with all this misinformation on
hand, the conversation took a turn.
Patrick Dugan. of Harwinton, Conn.,.
who killed his father, has been bound
over in the sum of $500. The Judge
had great mind at one time to make
it $3.50. Tell We wat. naow, when
man daown in Connecticut goes'n kills
his father, y gol. they make him smart
fur it. 'Tain't like ez eff 'twaz out West
naow, wher they don't hev no regard
Cor human Efa parson Goodhee saws