Arizona weekly citizen., 1882-01-29

open fire, inforn.sd Fs5-s'..l. / they shoveled wind into the fire d--'' al Aunt Emma's.'
 A New Jersey school-boy secured a weeks, extravacat on by placing a tor pedo where the scloolmaster would step upon it. Nothing IS impossible to a serious, thinking boy.
 A writer from Rome is of the opinion that there IS enough food wasted and over-eaten m America every year Co feed the wkole population of Italy and keep it in good working condition.
 Natural mistake: A man employed as a porter m a Texas hotel lifted a piano not long ago and carried il up one flight He got hold of 1t in the darkness by mistake, thinking he was carrying the trunk of a Boston drummer.
 One of the allegations made in a Louis vile wifes bill of divorce IS that her husband, to cure her of jealousy, com pelled her to kiss the woman of whom she was jealous, having brought the lat ter to the house for the purpose.
 A Florida paper says: There are individuals in every town who will have nothing 10 do with anything they can't boss We know other fellows in every town who can't boss anything except the thing they have nothing to do with.
 It takes but thirteen minutes to lead an elephant on r.iilrod train, while It takes twenty for any sort of woman to kiss her friends good by and lose the check for her trunk.
 There are now 20 electric lights in use m Albany, and II2 more are to be put in as soon as possible. Then a mem Der of the Legislature won't be able to howl round the streets without being recognized.
 Her heart was touched: Two well dressed ladies were examining statue of Andromeda, labelled. Executed in terra cotta-7 Says one: "Where IS that3 "I am sure l don't know replied the other; ''but pity the poor girl wherever 1t was"
 Bronson Alcott, in advocating a non animal diet, says: Compare a table of the present day with that spread by the hands of Eve in Paradise 10 feed her ethereal guests Nonsense. It was all  steak and mutton chops that she and Adam and all the rest of us got into trouble. And as for her ethereal guests the Devil
 A young lady in New York City, who was accosted by a well-dressed man in an insulting manner, accepted the offer Of an old woman who was grubing ID an ash barrel close by to "ccver him with ashes for ten cents" The man was pelted with handsful of ashes, covering him from head to foot, before he could escape. The dame was rewarded with a quarter.
 Boirdoin episode; Now do you know Cicely, dear, think Oscar WIldeS theory of beautiful surroundings IS very nice, and she glanced about her bOudoir as if to emphasize the remark. "Indeed, said her caller, but it IS just possible that beautiful, surroundings can mot make ether of us beautiful except in years She deliberately slandered her self that she might wound her best friends feelings. How touchingly femi- nine.
 A lovable man: Jones was an old bachelor whose temper was. not the sweetest and who did not like to be ques- toned. The other evening, just as sup per was ready, he went out and kept 1t waiting half an hour. When he came back the landlady said sharply. Well Mir. Jones, why did you go out just pre- viously tC supper in that ways7 Because, madame, answered, s" couldn't go out just p. 0usly after supper in that way" The landlady closed her mouth for r1palrs.
 A maiden firm: The ar was permeat- cd with snowy chill, the sky was oyer hung with leaden clouds, Tet Tet carrying icles in its onward sweep play ed with her long brown locks, but she hesitated not. She pressed forward, driy- en by restless impulse, and one glance at her determined face plainly showed that she was resolved, firmly resolved to get five yards of velvet trimming cut bias to match, if she had to overhaul ever dry goods store in town, and we presume she did.
 The pitiable condition of these poor fellows whS m the Olden time were "bound out to some trade until they were of age Is hinted at in advertisement to thIs effect: -,'Wanted, two apprentices who will be treated as one of the family"
 The man who sells four quarts to the gallon IS the best product of the Chris tan religion eXtant, and will walk boldly through the gate of Paradise while the man who prays at the street corner is trying in vaIn to pick the lock.