The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-09-02
FARMER STEBBINS At OCEAN
GROVE.

DEAR BROTHER JOHN
We got here safe-my worthy wife an me
An pitched our tents within Il grove contig III
to the sea;
We've harvested such means of grace a:
growed within our reach;
We've tended all the mOrnin' talks, we've
heard the Bishop preach;
An everything went pleasantly, until we hac
My wife and Lone breezy day, to take an
ocean swim.
We wouldn't ha ventred ont, l think, if
Sister SunnyhOpeS
Hadn't urged us over an Ggin, an said she
An told how safe an sweet it was "in ocean
rills to lave,''
An sport within the foaming surf, - and ride
An so we went along with her-my timid wife
an me
Two inland noodles, for our first acquaintance
with the sea-
They put me in work-day rig, as sally is
a wampus an short overhauls all sewed up
into one.
had to pull an fuss an jerk to make the
things 90 round
(You are aware my peaceful weight will crowd
three hundred pound.
They took my wig an laid it up-to keep it
safe they said
An strapped q straw-sack OF q hat on my de-
voted head.
They put my wife into dress too short by full
q third
Twas some'at in the "Bloomer' style, an
looked Il bit absurd.
You know she's rather tall an slim-somewhat
An clothes that are not cut for her are likely
not to fit;
But as we was we ventred in-my faithful
An formed our first acquaintance with the
inconsistent sea.
I;oCC ,tr pIn oh ola in
She'd had her bathin' suit all fixed an trimmed
from head to feet;
An went out an grabbed the rope, just as
she told me to;
An wife come next, a-lookin' scared, scarce
KNOWN what to do.
But Sister Sunnyhopes to me smile O sweet
ness gave,
An said; Now watch your chance, an jump
here comes a lovely waye!'
] Unjust ha' jumped, I ruther think, the wrong
time o the moon;
At any rate, the lovely wave occurred to me
too soon.
1t took me solid, with a rude an unexpected
1t beat the stoutest pair O. horns there is in all
my flock.
An then, to top the circus out, an make the
act more fine,
tried to kick the lovely wave, relnquisin'
the line.
On county fair an lection days, in walkin'
through crowd,
I'm rather firm to jostle 'gainst-perhaps it
makes me proud;
But if it does, that wave discoursed how sure
ness never pays;
An seemed to shout: GLOW small is man, no
odds how much he weighs!'
1t sat on me, it jumped on me, in spite of right
law,
An whisked an whrled me all about as if I'd
been straw.
An then it laid me on the beach, right thank
full for my life;
An scram6lin up, L gave a gaze to find my
But she had sort O cut the wave, with all the
edge she had,
An stood a-hold n to the rope, uncommon
moist and sad;
While Sister Sunnyhopes, with smiles was
lOOkin proud an gay,
A-hoatin on her dainty back, some several
rods away.
She looked so newsh-pretty there IAN knowed
it too, the elf,
The crowd was all admirin' her, an so was |
myself.
An while again grasped the line bside my
wife of truth.
My eyes lCDlld rove to Sister s., her beauty an
her youth;
When all at once another wave, tremendous
broad and deep.
Come smashn' down on wife an me, an tossed
us in heap.
Heels over head all in bunch, my wife across
o me,
An | on some unlucky folks who happened
there to be;
My hat united an foated off, an left nay bald
head bare.
When we got out if I'd ha' spoke, it would ha'
warmed the air.
We drank good part of the sea-my gaspin'
wife an i
While Sister S. still 1oated soft, again at the
sky.
We voted that we'd got enough, an crawled
out OF the way
Before another wave arrived, an bid the sea
good-day.
We looked as like two drowned rats as ever
such was called,
With one of 'em mighty fool, particularly
bald.
But, like a woman true, she said-my watchful
wife-to me:
"We will not mind; there's others here that
looks as bad as we."
Now Sister Sunnyhopes, by-'n'by, came back
into our tent,
AS sleek or sleeker than before, an asked us
when we went.
Says I:"My dear good Sister s., please do not
pretend
You did not see our V'yage through an mark
its doleful end
II you would play the mermaid fair, why such
I'd have you be;
But we're too old to take that part-my faith
full wife an me-"
-WW Carleton, in HdrpGr'S Weekly.