Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-09-14
keyes Mt Shullsburg.

Shullsburg Cor, of Darlington Re-
publican: E. w. Keyes candidate for
congress subject to the decision of the
Republican convention, to be held at
Monroe, Sept. 14th, was in Shullsburg
this week. Word was sent ahead, and
the entire village knew that the great
Boss vas coming. As Reyes is very
popular here, especially among the
Democrats, it was decided to meet the
great loaded at the depot, en- masse. A
meeting was called and the following
persons chosen to preside, officiate and
see that everything passed off satisfac-
torlly:
President, F. b. Simpson; marshal j.
III. Earnest; reception orator, j. Il.
Simpson; fatigue duty, NJ. HOLSTER;
balance wheel, L. ii. Bright.
1t was the intention of the managers
to have a torch light procession; but at
10 O'Clock p. m, the fatigue duty
committee reportedthat, assisted by DIR.
C~oatsworth, he had searched the village
for torches, but none could be found.
But together they had visited the old
democratic headquarters of 1876, and
had found four old Chinese lanterns,
bearing the names of Tilden d Hen
bricks. The president ordered them to
be lighted, and the marshal, mounted on
minnie Brooks" ordered the process
sion to fall into line. But here the
''balance Wheel objected. He remind
ed the president that Keves was Il re-
publican, and it would hardly do to
meet him with those lanterns. The
president saw the point, and ordered
the fatigue" to convey them carefully
back TO the place from whence they
came,-and the fatigue waddled off
in discharge of his duty.
The shrill whistle of the Avoca had
just died away when the procession
halted at the depot. As the ear door
swung open and the Boss stepped ont,
the president ordered three cheers for
Keyes and the democratic partyi' The
balance Wheel said something which
no one could understand, owing to the
cheering, and Keyes looked rather un-
comfortable. The Misunderstanding had
scarcely subsidized when tie reception
orator, in a voice filled with painful
vehemence, causing by the fatigue
treading on his corns) said: "Mr.
Keyes, in behalf Of the democracy Of
Shulls-;n he never finished the son
tence. The "balance wheel sprang
forward, seized his left coat tail, tore it
half off, and told the Orator that
''this was not democratic reception
not by n id sight, A painful pause
ensued in which nobody knew inst what
TO do, but only for a moment. Keyes'
presence of mind did not fail him.
Mounting a beer key, he said: ''Fel-
low citizens and brother republicans
''but we are not republicans" yelled the
fatigue (who had recovered from the
| effects of a blow in the abdomen, given
him by the "'orator'' when his corns
were being punished) 1--WE are not re-
publicans.' To this painful eruption
the Boss paidno attention, but continued:
1--WE are about TO enter upon a cam
paign freightcd with the destinies of the
nation. The unwashed democracy, hold
ing within its filthy arms the traitorous
n~Dprincipled men of (great confusion)
the South. and filth and o~ff-scourings of
humanity in the North ~(groans) again
! confront us" (Hisses, shrieks and
muttered imprecations), Reyes paused
and that gave the balance Wheel an
opportunity to whisper something in his
ear, which made the Boss exclaim:
What, these all democrats, no repub-
licans herei'' That is il, Boss the
balance wheel replied; they are going
to help me carry the caucus for YOU. and
we've got Hazelton busted" Keyes
was silent for a moment. and then said,
m%usingly: "These all democrats
Well, Tom, if that is so there is but one
thing for me to do, and it shall be dnue.
Come, boys, let us all 90 somewhere
and take a driak.'' Forward hic-
march yelled the marshal, andthe pro
%cession moved proudly away, the ''fati-
que bringing up the q Shullsbure
will be solid for Keyes.