River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-08-10
LOVE MARRIED BY BkEECHEs.
Amusing Experience of an American
Journalist in Mexico.
pbiladelnhia Press

~ had rather an amusing love affair
myself in Texas which | should like to
tell you if you will not feel bored with
my long anecdotes" said the New York
man, throwing away his stump of
cigar. II was staying at ranch on the
Rio Grande, and fell in love, or thought
had fallen in love, with a beautiful
little damsel who resided with her
father at a small hacienda twenty miles
away. was the possessor Of a new
pair of buckskin breeches, which T
had purchased in New Orleans, but
had hitherto never worn. One morning
put them on. They fitted perfectly,
and | was so delighted with
the appearance of my neither
limbs that | determined to pay visit
to Donna Isabella. When halfway on
my ride it began to rain in torrents,
and my breeches began to stretch, and
the stretching continued until they
hung half dozen inches below my
boot heels. / arrived in the young
lady's presence in rather worse look
ing condition than that of drowned
rat. However, she received me kind
ly and conducted me to the kitchen,
where roaring fire was blazing. l sat
talking to her while my clothes were
dying, and was too much occupied to
think about my new breeches, when
my love-making was cut short by the
announcement of supper. | gave my
arm to the Donna and entered the
next room. We were greeted with
shouts of laughter from large
company of men and women
who were seated at the table.
I glanced downward and my eyes fell
on the cause OF their mirth. My
breeches had shrunk with the heat I'M
til they had rolled above my knees.
leaving wide space of bare flesh be-
tween them and my socks. A love for
the aesthetic did not flourish in those
days, at least not in Mexico, and | was
glad to hide my legs under the table,
and for the rest of the evening | wrap
ped a maptillia rouEd my limbs. /
was too uncomfortable to resume my
love-making to Isabella; besides, she
laughed whenever she looked at me. |
slept there that night in room on the
ground floor, overlooking a wide mead
ow. Thinking the fresh air would re-
store my breaches to their normal con-
dition / took them off and spread them
on the grass, when they jumped back
through the window and went to bed.
In the morning arose early and look
ed for the cherished garments. A
dreadful sight met my gaze. Two COWS
were contentedly breakfasting off them
and only a portion of the seat and the
band with the button remained. | did
not know what to do, and lay in bed
waiting for the appearance of one of
the inhabitants of the house. Present.
ly Isabella's father went past my wind
ow. | hailed him and told MIN my
plight. He laughed and said he
would fetch me pair of his trousers.
Now | am tall and spare my Mexican
host was short and enormously
fat the trousers he produced
me were patched in every direct
ton with cloth of divers colors.
Imagine my appearance when put
them on. The rest of the house had
been told of my misfortune, so when |
left the room | found all the men and
girls in the place, including Isabella
awaiting my debut. L shall never for
get the wild yells of laughter which
greece ed me, and it struck me that Isa-
bella laughed louder than the rest. l
made rush for the stable, saddled my
horse, and, without word of farewell,
rode off as hard as | could. | never
went to see Isabella again. Nothing
kills love SO badly as ridicule.