San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-04-20
ADRUNKEN TELEPHONE.
Experience With n Telephone which Was,
Usual. Out OF Order.

/
Usual. Out OF Order.
Last Wednesday the bell of our tele.
phone rang violently at o'clock in the
morning, and when we put our mouth
to the mouthaphone and asked what
was the matter, still, small voice, eyid.
emily that a lady, said: "Julia has got
the worms, DOCTOR" We were some
what taken aback, but supposing Julia
was going fishing, We were just going
to tell her not to forget to spit on her
bait, when male voice cried: "Oh, 60
to the devil, will your" We couldn't
tell whose it was, but ii sounded like
the clerk at the Plankington house, and
We sat down. There is no man who
will 60 further to accommodate friend
than we will, but, by great ethereal,
there is something we will not do to
please anybody. AS we sat and medi-
tated, the bell rang once more, and
then weknew that the wires had got tan
gled, and that we were going to have
trouble all day. 1t was busy day, too,
and to have bell ringing beside ones
ear all day is no fun. The telephone
is blessed thing when it is healthy,
but when its liver is out Of order, it Is
the worst nuisance on record. When out
OF order that way you can have lots of
conversation that you are not entitled
to. Forinstance, we answered the bell
after it had been rung several times,
and sweet little female voice said:
"Are you going to receive Tomorrow"
We answered that we were going to
receive all the time. Then she asked
what made us so hoarse" We told her
that we. had sat in draft from the
bank, and it made the cold chills run
over us to pay for it. That seemed to be
7atisfactory, and then she began to tell
us what she was going to wear, and
asked if we thought it was too cold to
wear low-necked dress and short
sleeves. We told her that that was
Whit we were going to wear, and then
then she began to complain that the
new dress was too light in various places
that she mentioned, and when the boys
picked us up off the floor and bathed
our temples, and we told them to take
her away, they thought we were crazy.
If we have done wrong in talking to
total stranger, who took us for lady
friend, we are willing to die-we couldn't
help it. For an hour we could not ans
wer the constant ringing OF the bell.
But finally the bell futtered as though
tiny bird had lit upon the wire and
was shaking it's plumage. It was not
a ring, but it was tune as though an
angel about eighteen years old,a blonde
angel, was handling the other end of
the transmitter, and we felt as though
it was wrong for us to keep her in sus-
pense when she was evidently dying to
pour into our articular appendage re-
marks that we ought to hear. And still
the bell did futter. We went to the coru-
copia, put our ear to the teddy stick
and said: "What ailest thou, darling?
Why doth thy hand tremble? Whisper
all thou feelest to thine old badly"
Then came over the wire, and unto our
mansard by side window, the follow
ing touching remarks: Matter enough!
I have been ringing here until 1 have
blistered my hands. We have got to
have ten carloads of hogs by day after
tomorrow, or shut down." Then there
was q suffering, and then another
voice said: "Go over to Loomis's
pawnshop. A man shut in"-another
vo .ce broke in singing "The sweet by
and by, we SHALL meet on that beautiful"
and another voice said: "Girl l ever
saw. She was riding with duffer,
ard wiped her nose as I drove by in
the street car, and 1 think she is struck
after me-" It was evident the tele-
phone was drunk, and we went out in
the hall, and wrote on barrel all the
afternoon, and gave it full possession of
the office.-MihUaatkee Sun.