Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
SQUIBS.

Pianists are not always bejeweled
set, but did you ever see one who did
not like to display his finger-ring?-
The Boston Post tells of Massschu-
sets man who bought Roman candle
to light him to bed with, and who is
now looking for the man who loaded it.
The fancee of Prince Leopold, of
England, the Princess Helena, of Wal
deck, Is of fair height, with beautiful
figure, dark hair, fine forehead, good
eyes and mouth and charming man.
ner.
Qualifying the negative: Mrs. Smith
lemphatically) - poor Mrs. Siren
They say that she has been ordered to
a warmer climate. Do you think she
will go ?" Mrs. Brown (grimlyl-'No,
not while she lives
Lord Y, whose popularity was not
excessive IN certain Scotch town,
having refused an importunste beggar,
she renewed her application: ''Now, my
lord, If ye'd just gil me ane little sax
pence could treat every friend We
have in the toon."-
From frying pan to fire: A Memphis
darkey who stole a mule tried to engage
a lawyer who once saved him from
prison. The lawyer said he could not
help him until he paid his fee in the
former case. why, boss" exclaimed
the disconsolate darkey, 81 stole that
mule specially to Sell linn and pas
vou." At last accounts he was still
without legal adviser.
Scriptural: There is wealthy brewer
IN Montreal who built church and in
| scrlbed on it: This church was erected
| by Thomas Nelson at his sole expense.
Hebrews Ky" Some of the McGill
College ways got ladder one night and
altered the inscription so as to make it
read: This church was erected by
Thomas Nelson at his souls expense
He brews Xxx"
A Boston man on rainy day seeing
a man ahead of him whom he thought
q friend, with silk unit rella hoisted
over his head, rushed to him clapped
his hand on his shoulder, and shouted
by way of a joke: "I'll take that UNI
brella, if you please" The individual
locked around and disclosed an entire
stranger. but before the other could
apologize he said, hurriedly: ooh, it's
yours, is it? Well, didn't know that.
Here you can have it, and broke away,
leaving the umbrella in his hand.
The Conyers (Ga.) Weekly relates the
following: "For several months one
of our citizens has been noticing that
his butcher invariably let his hand rest
slightly on the meat when he weighed
it, and he reweighed it at home and
found it from half to pound short.
He kept an account of these deficien-
cies, and when they aggregated 100
pounds be took out an attachment for
the butchers hand, claiming that il
rightly belonged to him, he having
more than paid for it"
THE BAGGAGE MAN.
With many a curve the trunks pitch,
! With many a shout and sally;
At station, siding, crossing, switch,
On mountain grade or valley
l heave, i push, i sling, / toss,
With vigorous endeavor
And men may smile and men may cross
But sling trunks forever
Evert ever
The paper trunk from country town
balances and handles;
| | turn it once or twice around
And pull out both the handles,
And grumble over travelling bags
| And mOnstrCnS sample cases;
But can smash the makers brags
And plaster Paris vases
They holler, holler, as go,
But they can stop me never,
For they will learn Just what know
trunk won't last forever
Ever, ever
Trunks can't last forever
| BHrlingtOR R1lrE- E,Ue