The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1882-09-02
a THEORY Or FLIES.

Smiths theory Of cats. according to
is dine t" I'll" fact that nature designed
the aEima! t. sit on the ridge poles Of
houses, and that i'll our cities, where the
roofs are nearly all fiat, the back fence
offers The best attainabie substitute for
the ridge pole. There is also Professor
Browns theory that mosquitoes do not
exist, and that it is a disease of the
nerves which makes us imagine that we
see and feel something which we call
mosquitoes. The latest and most inter-
asting OF scientific theories is Professor
Simmons's theory of flies. This eminent
Chicago scientific person believes that
flies exist at all times of the year in vast
quantities in the atmosphere at a dis
lance Of a mile and seven-eighths from
the surface OF the earth. and that they
are driven to The earth by luy concus-
sion Of the air, such as is produced by
thunder storm or By the discharge of ar
tiiicry.
In support of this theory Professor
Simmons brings GorWa,,, several plausi-
G.2 illustrations. To reminds us that
We have nat! hardly any thunder storms
iii The Northcrn States uutil since the
beginning of July, and until that tiG.o
there was scarcely Fly visible. During
the entire months Gr May and June,
when, c,3pulding to precedent. our homes
should have swarmei With flies, we en-
.oyed :. marked and universal exemption
from them. Even in houses where the
most a!"rins iiy paper was displayed,
hot !y Was caught, aAd both the Won
der'nl harmony which prevailed among
politicians, aud was enormously attribut-
ed to the impression produced by the
murder of President Garli11d. and lao
uncXamp!ed decrease Of business, Il. our
divorce courts, wero. i. t':0iessor SIM
mons S op!n;".,, due IT, The deartii Of flies.
ri.,' t.H!ossnr calls attention to the
!dct thaL tha iies suddenly arrived in ill.,
"'imerablc quantities the day after the
bnmharimcnG Of Alexandria, As is we'll
known, the heaviest guns Of the British
navy We're fired for several caua0eGtivs
hourS during this hombardH.ent. and
were answered ~ sac less heavy hut
StIl >.1.r""ls qua, OF the E.yptia
i'rt&. HE dln WAS tremendous, and had
Il heavy shower fallen Immediately after
the bolnbardment ceased those persons
who believe that heavy artillery fire
AWAY: produces rain would have eX-
claimed that their theory vas ir.asiiied
Prof. Simmons seems 20 nave an equal
right e >,.so ,ile commandment as an IL
'UStgat!on Of his own particular theory.
Flies certainly did appear tor the first
time this summer ths, day after tht; bonn
baltiment. aud the Professor is perfectly
certain that they were brought down
irom the upper Iegieaa q! the atnus-
phere by coGsUss.uu.
so long as this theory remains nothing
but theory it can do no harm, but its
learned inventor ought to be made to un
t' tSi'ha 'Att ih"r- :."'. -".ae tiIi = bet
At Intelligent pupltc wiIl not tolerate.
He Is nDT engage il az etc. &. induce
Congress 10 lead him q, battery OF haavg
ans. -, =. tr'.l'5 a., aFpr.'p. Iatina 10
''etrdy the expense OF b,,nbtrtiiUr tie
heavens, i'll order To produce Il shpx er OF
HES. y man. however learned he may
Ia, and however cstiniab!e r4av ~ MS
-'nerai character, caa >nGa.e IN tie
work 81 iH'3!,.-s"4 HES and iIye. We
have all the Hiss that ate Eeedc,l-au in
iact that v : can possibly endure. aud lHe
nan who attempts to add to their mum
bel by firing cannoH Wi. be ir.:!y blown
from lhe mouth OF &@J u ms own guus
oJ an III, ilsc1 "Gd alarmed people.
Without VenturinL TO pronounce npon
the truth nr iai>ity OF Professor SimuIUns'
theory III flies. it may be suggested that
Cue eAi>Uetito % bald hoaGed Hel. may
account lor l,es in a io.teutiy safjaiac-
wa > ~ $3.50 iol d lhOiltuj DIT lit
facts. If Il bald headed man is exposed
Tor one hour i'll 4 room with i've persons
possessing decent amount of hair, and
III a region where flies ahoEul., more flies
Will cluster or liz head than on the en-
tIgS guitaGes OF the five other persons.
Furthermore. if a bald headed man be
placed in a room where 10 flies are I.own
/" eAist. an average OF eleven Thousand
HES per nDuc will .l.ta; mat room and
Iipi-, Ii, ms head. These experiments
and others OF the same nature have been
II peatediy made by Professor Jones, Of
st. Louis. aud always with Substantially
the SAME result,
MGvpusol, +. is well ascertained fact
that in Countries where badness Is un
known, flies do nat exist. IN the arctic
cIrcic- where Such an uo;ect aS Il bald
headed E>gu!!na" has never once been
n.Jt, liles are absolutely unknown, while
III boarding houses in the temperate
zone. trequented by bald headed board
els from the city, flies are :, numerous
as to defy computation. Upon these
are the result Of badness. and the theory
Sill be at least as plausible and well sus-
tanned by facts as is the theory of Prof.
Simmons,