The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1882-10-19
NO.
ConauerInr a muIa.

Conquering n Mule.
"Ben Appleby, of St. Louis, had a
mule" said a stableman, (which was
one of the knowingest cusses you
ever saw. l dunno where Ben found
him, but one day he came drivin'
home with this mule hitched ter the
tail end of his wagon. He was an
innocent lookin' animal, plump an
fat, an looked like he was goin' to
be good fer suthin'. Well, the next
day after Ben got i'm home he tried
ter hitch i'm up, but he wouldn't be
hitched. He jest everlastin'ly kicked
the wagon inter splinters. He kick
ed one eend outer ther stable, and
kicked ther stall down, an kicked
everything in sight. Ben took
him out in the corn-field one day,
an hitched Jim to plow, but he up
an kicked that plow over inter tn, r
next lot. He was all right under
saddle, but ther mint Ben tried ter
hitch I'm ter anything he jest kicked
1t outer sight. No matter where he
was, if things didn't suit i'm, he jesi
let himself out an kicked. Nobody
but Ben dast go near i'm. We'll,
finally he diskiYered that everybody
was scared of i'm, an he got the
idee that he was the greatest mule
III that section OF ther country. lie
had way of cockin' one ear for
rard an the other hackards, an
winkin' one eye when any one came
near i'm, as much as to say 'Git on
to me; Pm Ben Appleby's kickin'
mule, an don't yer forgit it, When
Ben would be ridin' i'm long
there road an they'd pass another
mule, he'd jist git his ears in posi-
ton an wink an grin as much as ter
say: Pm the only mule in this coun-
try. Pm kicker, am He SEEM
ed to understan' that he had the
dead wood on Ben, an that nobody
could hitch i'm to no sort of vehicle.
He got chuck, ram. jam full of con-
ceit, an use ter parade hisself aroun'
the barnyard like he owned the
place. Ben made up his mind as
how the mule wouldn't never be mo-
count tell he was broke to drive in
harness. He tried all sorts Ter ways.
He hltched i'm to a moWin' machine.
an the result was he had ter GIT a
new machine. The mule kicked it
all outer shape. He broke up every
thing that Ben tried ter hitch i'm to.
Bimeby Ben got mad. He swore he'd
take the conceit outer that ami
NAL if it tux his hull farm. Then he
begun ter study up ther case, till one
day a man came along with one of
them farm engines what they run
thrashin' mersbeens with. Ben says
to i'm, 'Pll give yer five dollars il
you'll let me hitch my mule ter that
mersheen.' Cit out yer MULE sez
the man, an Ben led i'm outer the
stable. HE can't pull it, sez the
man. Never mine,' sez Ben, 'he kin
try it, So he led the mule out in
the road, and the mule he knowed
in mint what was goin' on. He
cooked his ears backwards and for
rards, and grinned and sez to hisself:
"'They'm goin' TO hitch me to that
thing. Dog-gone my skin, I'll kick
it inter the next county. Pm Ben
Appleby's kickin' mule, L am. Watch
me now and see how do it,
swell, Ben an the mln got I'm
hitched up to the mercheen an he
began to kick agin ther boiler-head.
He kicked, an he kicked, an he kick.
ed, but the mersheen never budged.
Ben an the man sat on the fence u
watchin' the job, an the man a-laugh-
in to kill hisself. Ben looked kinder
satisfied, but he never fetched a
smile. Bimeby the mule settled
down on his four legs, an swung his
head aroun' an said to hisself:
"Wat kline of a dog-gone vehicle
is this any how? She don't fetch
worth a cent. Maybe somethin's the
matter with my legs. Pll go for it
agin, anyhow
can he set his teeth together an
began to kick agin.' Well, sir,
he hammered his heels agin' that
boilerhead till he was black in the
face, but she never weakened. Then
he'd stop an take breath an swear,
an then he'd kick agin.' Well, sir,
he KEEP that up fur full half an hour,
till he was weak as a cat, then he
stopped an Topped both ears forrard
an cried like baby. Ben let i'm
STAN there little while, an then he
onhitched i'm an took i'm back to
the stable. The next day he hitched
i'm up to buggy, an he trotted off
without sayin' word, an to-day
he's as decent an respectable a mule
as they is in the county. Ben's wife
drives i'm to town mos every day in
fayton".-St. Louis Republican.