The Portland daily press., 1882-08-25
Sending a Telegram.


One man reached long arm over the little
crowd clustered at the operators window, and
asked for "blank Geographic FORM" ex-
planning that he "gished to send Geographic
dispatoh to his family" Now, when man
speaks of photographic despatch" always
wake up and look at him, because the cumber-
some title is all at utter variance with the
spirit of the telegraph. It's too long. The use
of it betrays the man who has little use for the
telegraph The more he uses the wire the
shorter his terms. The more nearly he can
come to saying "msg'' the more content he
is. And he doesn't call it ''telegraphic
form" he asks for "blank," black or red, as
the case may be. And he never "telegraphs"
anybody. He "wires'' them And he doesn't
explain to the operator what he wants to do
with the blank. Presumably he wants to
write message. And as for the matters rs
ferred to in that "msg'' and the party for
whom it is intended, the operator will know
all that he wishes to know-and sometimes
much more than you want him to know
soon enough.
So watched this passenger write his "tele-
graphic dispatch, First he asked the opera
tor: "What doy of the month is this?" There
was nothing unusual in that. All men ask
that. 1t is the opening line in the regular for
mula of sending "msg." You may know
what date it is before entering the office you
may even have it impressed upon your mind
by having a note fall due on that day, but the
moment you poise your pencil over the blank,
that date flies from your mind like the tooth
ache from dentists stairway. so when the
ms tfVVhat dQU of the month ia thia0,,
was not surprised. 1 courteously answered
him, as a cover to approaching his position
but he did not believe me. He repeated his
question, and made the operator answer.
Then knew he was very new at it. He spoiled
three blanks before he got Biographical dis
patch written to suit him. But even that is
not very uncommon. A man always uses sta
tionery more extravagantly in another mans
Office than he does at home. Then he wrote
every word in the body of the dispatch very
carefully and distinctly, butscrambled hurried
ly ever the address, az though everybody knew
that as well as he did, and dashed eff his own
signature in blind letter style, as though his
name was as familiar to the operator as it was
to his own family. But even this is not I'M
common. A man will write Cunningham"
SO hat no expert under the skies will tell
whether it was Covington or CARING or Cum
mageD, or Clarendon, and when the operator
points to it and asks, "What is this?" the wri-
ter will stare at him in blank amazement for
namel' "well yes, I know that"
the operator will say; .but what
is your name?" Then the man will
gasp for breath and catch hold of the desk
to keep himself from falling, aid finally shout
"Why, Cunningham, of course!' and look pity
ly upon the operator, and then glance about
the room with panied, shocked expression, as
one who should say: Gentlemen, you may
not believe it, and do not blame you, but
heaven is my witness-here is man who does
M a INV 10 1aOh anil
This is not unusual. Any operator will tell
you that he has met Cunningham scores of
times and has MORALLY offended him every
time by asking his name.
Well, my tall man with the thin neck got
along little better than that when he hand
ed the operator the following explicit message:
Mrs Sarah X I7oILinsbee, Dallas Centre, Iotca:
My Dear Wife-I left the city early this morning
after eating breakfast with Prof Morton, live man
in the temperance cause. expected to eat dinner
with you at home but we were delayed by terrible
railroad accident, and l narrowly escaped being
killed. one passenger was terribly mangled and has
since died. but I am alive. The conductor says l
cannot make connection SO as to come to Dallas
Centre this morning, but can get there by O'Clock
this evening. hate to disappoint you, but cannot
help it. With love to mother and the children,
ROGER X. FoLL1NsBEE.
The operator read it, smiled and said: "You
can save considerable expense and tell all that
is really necessary, presume, by shortening
this message down to ten words. We have no
wire directly into Dallas and will have to send
this message part of the way over another line,
which adds largely to the cost of transmission.
Shall shorten this for your" mo, oh, me-
the man with the shawl replied, "I'l fix it my
self Ten words, you say?" eyes, SIR" 1t was
sumner, for fact, and the man heaved a de-
spairing sigh, as he prepared to boil his letter
down to ten words. He sighed again after
reading it through once or twice, and then
scratched out dallas Centre, Iowa." as
though everybody knew where he lived Then
he erased "early," and drew his pen slowly
through "breakfast with and in the temper
ance.' Then he scratched over "dinner with
and went on to erase land narrowly escaped"
And so he went on through the dispatch. Oc-
casienally he would hold it up from him at
arms length after making an erasure, to get at
the general effect. And at last after much
scratching and erasing and with many signs,
he came to the window and said Here is this
telegraphic dispatch to my wife. / have not
been able to condense it into ten words, and do
not see how it can be done without garblinS
the sense of the dispatch, but if you can do it,
you would obIige me greatly, as | do not wish
to incure any really unnecessary expense.
And with that he handed the operator the
following expunged edition of his original
message:
HRS Sarah Fl. bolltns5ee.
My Dear Wife-I left the city-this morning after
eating-Prof. Morton alive-cause expected to eat
you at home. But we were delayed by terrible
railroad accident on the railroad. Ibeing killed
ductor-I cannot-come to Dallas Centre but can
II hate-mother and the children. Your loving
husband. ROGER K. FoLLINsBEE.
The operator smiled once more. and in his
quick nervous way that grows out of all his
familiar association with the lightning, made
few quick dashes with his pencil, and without
adding or changing letter in the original
message. shriylled it down to itssvery sinews,
like this:
Sarah Il. Follins5es, Dallas Centre, Io1ca:
Left city 'smorning; delayed by accident; all
right; home sevenipg.
ROGER K. FoLLINsBEE.
"There, that is all right he said in the
CHEEKY magnetic style these operators have.
FIFTY cents, sir; only % cents IL we had our
own wire into Dallas sir; we'll have one next
spring, too; saves you several dollars, sir.
That's right, thank you," And the man went
and sat down on chair by the stove and stared
at that operator until the rescuing train came
along, as though he were worker of miracles.
And when he got off the train at the junction
for Dallas 1 heard him whisper softly to him
self "Shfollnsbee-clishn smorning nothin'
smatter; home saftnoon." And 1 knew that
he was practising his lesson, and had caught
on"
The Crops.
Boston Advertised