davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
a Little Girls PeriIous Adventure.

John Brendell, residing on the Her
man wyckoff place in White Lake, has
a little daughter who will be 2 years
old next month, bright, active child.
His house is supplied with water by a
windmill. out of well seventy-one feet
deep close by the house. On Tuesday
morning Mr.. Brendell had occasion to
repair his pump and he had lifted the
cover from the we'll and stepped away
few feet, not noticing that his little girl
was about. He turned to go to the well
again, and when he turned he saw his
little girl disappear with a cry down in
the depths. Instantly his hat, boots
and coat were off and Mr.. Brendell was
sliding down the pipe, and when near
the bottom his little girl called PA
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
HUMOR.

TALKING about difficult feats, did you
ever attempt to select q name for a
baby?
WOMEN will persist in looking for
men under the bed, when there's no
riot in progress in town.
PEOPLE say that black berries are good
for the complexion, but who wants a
blackberry complexion?
WHAT is pessimist, papa?" asked
bright lad. "A pessimist, my son."
said the old man, dis one who would
find fault with his seat in heaven, if he
ever got there"
GEORGE WASHINGTON CHILDs says
"the worship of pretty things goes
sometimes too far" Just so. George.
A man with family ought not to adore
a burlesque artiste.-Boston Post.
"BUNYAN'sPnGRIM PROGRESS ON THE
STAGE" is the heading of an article in
morning paper. In olden times the
pilgrims progress was made on foot,
but this is the era of rapid transit.
IL DON'T ask any mans advice" said
the man with the big bumps of self-es-
TEEN. 81 do my own thinking" "Yes,"
murmured Fogg, II should think you
might, and not be greatly overworked,
either. "--BoSton Transcript.
"THEN you caught your boy stealing,
did you?" said a suburban woman to
her neighbor over the fence. "Yes,
and it most broke my heart what
did he steal" "He stole two big APP
pies from the store. / wouldn't have
cared so much if he had taken enough
to make couple of pies. boston
Globe.
On Fifth avenue, at Central Park,
about dusk, two Irishmen saw the BIZ
cyclists speeding along. Said one of
them: "Patsey, do you see thim byes
ridin' on the top of their hupples p
"Ah, Moike, thim's not hupples; they're
boysuckles" "Patsey, did we have
boysuckles in the old country ?" "Divil
a wan. But we had some foine foights,
bedad. Tile Judge.
AN Austin lady had two colored
women employed. One day she called
down from her room in the second
story: Matilda, bring me glass of
water" Il amt gwine ter do hit till
Use fru what Use dom right now
Bring hit yerself "What are you
so busy at?" Resin myself" "Then
tell Jemima to bring me glass of wa
ter" "She am busy, too" what is
she busy at?" "Helpin' me rest my
self. "-Teras Siftings.
WHEN young man kisses lis girl
goodnight about l 80 a. m, he may
have nearly mile to walk before
reaching his home, and he envies his
girl, who, he supposes, jumps into bed
and is fast asleep ten minutes after he
leaves the house. He doesn't know
that she must first fish seventy-nine
hair-pins out of her head, one at time,
and twist her hair up into bits of paper
so that it will crimp nicely next day,
and that he is in bed snoring before she
turns off the gas. If he was aware of
this fact, perhaps he would leave
earlier.-The Judge.
The most candid young man in Aus
tin is Nicodemus Murphy. He called
at the office of wealthy citizen, and
came right out and said: Il want to
marry your daughter. 1 can't live
without her" Are You acquainted
with my daughter?" Not in the
least" How then do you know you
can't live without her?" well, L
heard you were going to give her lots
of money when she married, and my
1 personal expenses are so heavy ] can't
| live without her-or some other woman
/ who has got money TO support hus-
band. "-TernS SifjnGs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
New Uses for "A Crooked Stick.

DIR. Burtless, of Midland, driving in
the dark one night, was thrown from
his buggy and had his left shoulder dis
located. The doctor stopped the team
with his right hand. Then he hunted
up convenient tree and a crooked
stick, with which he managed to spring
his dislocated shoulder into place, after
which he proceeded to the nearest
house and had it bound up under his
directions, when he got his buggy fixed
and drove on.-DetrOu Post.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
Acquitted.

John Anderson has been acquitted, in
Gladwin county, of the murder of Rob
ert Graham, which took place on the
oath of May last in broad daylight.
There was no doubt that Anderson shot
Graham. The jury stood on the first
ballot, it is stated, four for acquittal to
eight for conviction of murder in the
first degree; but inside of two hours the
eight surrendered to the four. The YER
dict is surprise, and indicates some
thing particularly rotten thereabout.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
Life i'm Greenville.

Greenville is going to have Red Rib
bon Club of young men who will not as
sociate with young ladies who do not
know how to do homework. That's
right. Now let the girls organize and
resolve not to associate with any young
man who can't split wood and make
garden and who does not possess some
idea of what the expenses of plain, sim
pie housekeeping are, and Greenville
will become the new Arcadia. But oh,
what an amount of staying at home will
be done there this winter.-La1lsing
ReD1Iblic1n
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
Bay City's silent Woman.

A woman has been found in Bay City
who won't speak and, of course, is con-
sidered a crank. She was taken to po-
lice headquarters and questioned, but
she stolidly refused to utter word.
Bay City people must be rather slow.
Why don't they place a new bonnet or
dress where she could see it and ask her
opinion of it? If they couldn't break
the spell and unchain her tongue in that
way, her crankism might be considered
beyond remedy.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
A Warm Invitation.

Jesse b., of Raleigh, N c., was en-
gagged in the lightning rod business. He
had just put up the necessary rods for
a farmer. and was, Judging from a GER
tain unpleasant sensation in the region
of the diaphram, aware that the hour of
dinner was near at hand. In other
words, he had not tasted food since early
that morning. and knew not where his
next meal was To come from unless he
was invited to dine with Farmer b.
At length, after some hesitation, the
farmer said Its about our dinner hour,
but the old woman is away from home
to-day, and / hardly know what to do
about it, but if You will take pot-luck
with me, you are welcome to dinner"
Jesse thanked him, and the two wend-
ed their way to the dining-room. They
found nothing to eat save dish of roast
ed potatoes and pot of mustard.
After being seated the farmer asked
jesse to take some potatoes.
mo, / thank you, said Jesse. IL
don't like potatoes"
well, said the farmer, not in the
least disconnected, Gust help yourself
20 the mustard !"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13

and the next moment was in her fathers
arms. She was brought to the top of
the well and found not to be bruised
much and no limbs broken, and, being
wrapped in fannels and well nursed,
bids fair to experience no unpleasant
results. Pontiac Gazette.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
Health I'm Michigan.

Reports to the State Board of Health,
Lansing, by observers of diseases in diff
ferent parts of the State, show causes
of sickness during the week ending Sept.
30, 1892. rs follows:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
MICHIGAN AFFAIRS.
Not So had for Had Axe.

The phoenix risen from its ashes may
be found up at Bad Axe. One little
year ago that town was one OF the
"burned district, and now there are six
churches, some completed and others
nearly SO. They are the Episcopal and
Protestant Methodist Churches, the
United and American Presbyterian, and
the Baptist and Episcopalian.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13

WITH a population of 100000, Rome
has 1900 priests. They wear all col
ors of uniform, from brilliant scarlet
gowns to dead black. A procession of
fifty priests, going two and two along
the street, with dazzling red robes
sweeping the ground, is novel sight
to an American. These Italian clerical
gentlemen very properly study pictur-
esque variety in their costuming.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13

only mode of locomotion is by jumping,
precisely like the kangaroo. Ii can
jump eight or ten feet.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13

THERE is one advantage in warm
weather. At no other season of the
year can you spread the butter on the
children's bread so evenly and thinly.-
Elmird Telegram
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13

A GREEN BAY (Wis.) mother writes !:
care the children of Arab Bey called
Arab Beybies? Ours are called Green
Beybies."
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10
AN ORDINANCE


anu
Be it ordained by the City Council of the
city Of San Antonio
SEC. l. That any person desiring TO pursue
and follow the occupation Of 4 boot black,
shall pay to the City Marshal the sum of five
dollars per annum, payable quarterly. in adj
vance, and the City Marshal shall then de
liver TO said person tin plate or badge, which
shall bear such stamp or design as said Mar
shall shall Indicate, and shall be worn by the
person receiving the same on some con-
spiCuous place about his person.
SEC. The City Marshal, on said person
complying with Sec. OF this ordinance, shall
designate place or beat on the public side
pursue and follow his said occupation.
SEC. 5. The badge provided for in Sec. I
of this ordinance shall not be transferable,
and shall be returned to the Marshal at the
expiration Of the time for which the license has
been paid.
SEC. 4. All persons permitted to pursue the
occupation herenbetorc provided for shall be
ander the immediate supervision and control
OF the City Marshal and Police, and it shall
be unlawful for any person TO pursue and fol-
low said occupation without first complying
with sections and of this ordinance; and ii
shall be unlawful to pursue said occupation at
any other place or beat than that indicated by
the City Marshal.
Sc. 5. Amy person violating any Of the
provisions Of this ordinance shall be fined in
any sum not exceeding five dollars for each
OltenSe.
Passed and approved April 4, 1882.
III. FRENCH,
Mayor.
Attest: THFO. BMDUS, City Clerk.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10

BerL., April 7.-Bismarck returning thanks
for birthday congratulations, through the
North German Gazette, says; !.essened capac-
i,y for writing renders it impossible for him to
answer all his friends personally.
MOVEMENT OF TURKISH TROOPS.
Constantinople, April s. The seven Turk
ish battaltons now concentrated on the Bull
garian frontier have been ordered 10 occupy
the pass between Macedonia and Bulgaria.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10
CITY ELECTION PROCLAMATION.
MAYORS OFFICE,
City Of San Antonio, April sd, 1882. !


In accordance witha resolution Of the City
Council, passed March 2Ist, 1882, and by viz
tue Of the authority conferred on me by the
charter and ordinances of the city, |, James
II. French, mayor Of the city OF San Antonio,
do issue this, my proclamation. ordering and
directing that an election be held in this city on
MONDAY, APRIL 24rII, 1882,
to take the sense Of the property taxpayers
whether or not the City Council shall be au-
,horiled to borrow (SISo,ooo) one hundred
and fifty thousand dollars, and issue bonds
therefor. the proceeds OF said bonds to be
used as follows: 500, 900 for street improve
mcntS, and $4,000 for the construction Of
sewers and drains.
Electors in favor Of the proposition will
have written or printed upon their ballots
''For the l.oan.' Those opposed -"AgainS
the Loan
Polls will be opened from s o'clock a. m,
TO 6 o'clock p. M, at the following places,
to-wit:
Ward No. 1--Kccor1er's Office; J. A. Settle
presiding officer.
Ward No. 2--Corner Neramendi and Sole
dad streets; {. &. Artzt presiding officer.
Ward No. 3-Alamo building: Ed. kiSChe,
ST., presiding officer
Ward No. 4-Corner Alamo and Nillita
streets; G. X. Ereneman presiding officer.
signed my name, and have caused
l.. s. the seal of the city Of San Antonio
TO be affixed, this sd day Of April,
A. d., 1882. J. II. FRENCH,
4-5o-Iot Mayor, City of San Antonio.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10

The wife of Sergeant Mason is described rs
rather tall and slender, between IS and so
years of age, with dark hair, blue eyes, and
with a gentle and modest air.
Mr.. Arthur is reported by the Philadelphia
Record to be wooing for his second wife the
beautiful widow Of Craig Wadsworth, of
Geneseo. Mrs. Wadsworth was in her youth
Miss Lena Peters, Of Philadelphia.
The govt has taken possession of Sturgeon
once again, this time very violently. lie is
unable to walk, or even to stand, and is con-
stantly suffering intense pain.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10
COLLECTOR HAYNES.

A prominent Texas republican said tonight
that at the earnest request of Governor Davis
it has been decided by the President that Col
lector of Customs Haynes at Brownsville, shall
he retained in his office. For several weeks
past strong efforts were making to effect his re-
moval, and until the arrival of Governor Da-
Wis it was believed they would be successful.
Col. Plato, of Western Texas, who has been
an aspirant for Haynes place, it is now said,
will he handsomely provided for in another
position
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10

London, April S.-The British steamer
West Cumberland is ashore at Londonderry.
Mail Contracts.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC.
FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES.

MILLIONS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES.
Washington, ID. c., April S.-The house
committee on education and labor directed
Representative Sherwin to draft bill to be
submitted to the committee recommending an
appropriation of $Io, 600 be made TO be
expended throughout the United States for
educational purposes, in accordance with the
rates of illiteraCy.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10

A memorial from large number of citizens
of southern Kentucky was presented to the
lower house of congress to-day by Hon. Oscar
Turner, praying that the city Of Paducah be
made port of entry.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10
AUSTIN. TEyAS. April H. 1877

AUSTIN, TEXAS, April Y, 1877.
have used the "Wonderful Eight in a
case of chronic diarrhra of nine months
standing, and found it to effect a permanent
cure. | have also known it used successfully
in a case Of rheumatism. VIM. KIRBY.
For sale by +. Kalteyer & Son. a-2I-d.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10
TIE BANKRUPTCY ELL.

Washington, ID. c., April 6.-Mr. c. G.
Eonney, Of Chicago, appeared before sub
committee Of the judiciary committee OF the
house to-day and made an argument on the
bankruptcy bill, in which he answered "hjec-
tons to the bill adopted by the Senate Com
mittce This bill is substantially the one
known as the equity plan, OF which Eonney
was the author.
The evening light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1881-1883, 1882-04-10

Washington, April 4.-In relation to house
resolution of January 81, concerning the ar
rest and imprisonment of American citizens
by authority Of the British government, the
secretary of state writes that he has the honor
to inform the president that for some time past
active negotiations have been carried on be-
tween the two governments. These negota-
tons have been conducted in spirit of entire
friendship, and it affords the secretary of the
state pleasure to acquaint the president that on
the I'd instant information was received by the
department Of state that all American citizens
held as prisoners in Ireland had been released
except three, and that since that date further
information has reached him that O'Connor,
Hart, Welsh, Dalton and White are now in
prison. Negotiations are still being conducted
with view to release the remaining prisoners,
and hopes are entertained that result will be
reached satisfactory and honoraby alike TO
both governments.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1882-04-22

ALPHA LODGE NO. 1, A. 0. U. w.
NEEETs AT THE FOLEY AND RICHARD
Nl building every Tuesday evening at 1850
O'Clock. Sojourning brethren in good standing
are invited to attend.
Examining Physioian DIR. G. q. Thoma.
o. L. SCOTT, NJ. W.
10. O. wHrrMoRH, Recorder.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1882-04-22

A. d. HI.
NTEETs EVERY FIRST AND THIRD SAT.
lNl urdsy of each month, at their hall,
corner CLARK and Edwards streets, ct 1880
O'Clock. PATRICK STANTON, President.
PATRICK HANNoN. Secretary.
Eureka, July 10. 1880. jy20-H
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1882-04-22

BEATIFIC LODGE. NO. Z, H. OF p,
NEEETs EACH FRIDAY OF EVERY
hall, in the Richard Foley building.
Ali Brother Knights, In good standing, are
rsternally invited to attend such meetings.
W. q. DAVENPORT, O. O.
O. n. CADY, X. of r. and g.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-12-28
Scientific Notes.

Pure thorium, so far as NJ. Nelson's
experiments 90, shows specific gray-
ty very nearly HOO and an atomic vol
ume Of 2l.l.
Typhoid fever in Paris seems TO bear
a pretty constant relation to the san-
tary conditions Of the dwellings occupied
by the afflicted
Honey, after it is clarified, Herr f.
Myhus has discovered, can be kept
from fermentiug or losing its flavor by
adding to it about por cent. OF form
ic acid.
Wines made from the wild oranges
Of Florida are alleged to have greatly
priced therapeutic properties. The
manufacture of these beverages is very
simple.
AS to the conyulsing nature of curare
NJ County states that it is not only a
paralyaing but also primarily con
vulsing poison. Nor is it merely a
peripheric poison; it to a certain dc.
gree affects also the nerve centers,
Ether spray, in the practice Of Dr..
McColganan, has not only Immediately
relieved facial neuralgia, but has effect
cd permanent cure. The intense cold
produced is considered to have acted
on the affected nerve so as to have pro-
duced complete change in the nutri.
ton and its action,
Dugong-oil, which is yielded by an
herbivorous cetacean Of the waters Ut
Australia and the Eastern Archipelago,
has all the medical qualities OF cod-liy-
er-oil, without the repulsiye taste and
odor and the tendency to decay. The
dose is the same in quantity as cod-liv-
er-oil.
According to MI II. C. Hovey, each
female oyster is estimated to contain
from 100000 to l0,000,0 900 eggs, of
which not a tenth can be said to be Vi
talized in the course of nature. But
he is OF opinion that by proper system
OF oyster-farming fully one-half Of the
young may be matured to that stage
when they can take care Of them
selves. seed oysters are between
and years old, and those known as
saddle rocks require four years
to attain their high commercial
value
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-12-28
Hop Bitters are the purest aud Best
BittCrs ever Made.


They are compounded from Hops, Malt,
Blchu, Mandrake aud d ,ndeloin--,he old.
est and best, and most valuable medicine S
it the world, and contain all the best and
most curative properties Of all other rem
eiies being the greatest Blood Purifier,
Liver Regulator and Lite and Health Re
soring Agent on earth. No disease or i'll
health can possibly long exist where these
Filters are used, 50 varied and perfect are
their operations.
They give new life aud yigor to the aged
aud intirm. To all whose employments
cluse irreguiarty Of the bowels or urinary
organs, or require an apetizer, loric and
mild Stimulant Hop Bltlers are invaluable,
Icing highly curative, tonic and st!mua'
ting, without intoxicating.
No matter what your feelings or symp.
bms are. what the disease or almcnt is
i, use Hop BitterS. D, nj wait until you
Me sick, but if you only feel bad
or miserable, use Hop Bitters at
tnce. 1t may save your life.
Hundreds have been saved by 50 doing
$500 will be paid for case they will not
Wrc or help,
DO not suffer or let your friends suffer,
hut use and urge them to use Hop Biters.
Remember, Hop Bittcrs is no vile, druggeg
drunken nostrum but the Purest and
Best Medicine ever made; tho Tnvalid 5
friend md Hope" aud no person or family
hould be without them. Try the Bt;ers
.o.day CD
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-12-28
Executive Business.

An old cOlored man. whose knees
smOtc each other As he walked, entered
the executive chamber of the state
house and approaching the governor,
took off his hat and offered it TO the au.
gust ruler OF redeemed swamp lands.
II don't want Your old hat, exclaim.
ed the governor, what do you mean'
Look out; don't squirt tobacco Juice on
the floor"
"'Scuze me sab, 'scuze me. Though
dat when a man comes inter dis cham.
Der OBJ guberment, it is pliteness fun
him ter take off his hat an offer it tel
de ruled. don't intend ter gin it ter
yer sab Ef has tramped on Yer
rights an privileges, sab, by spittin on
de flo | axes yer pardon. Use in de
habit OF spittin,' sab. Use been spittin'
ebcr since was Il chile
What is your business with me?'
wall, sir, fore | makes application
| will sorter hab ter splain mysef. Some
time ago | married mighty likely waller
oman. | had made two hundred dol
lars an was able ter take care oh a
strayagant oman. Wall, bout a week
ago, yaller preacher, brudder Josh we
called him. come ter my house an was
monstrous anxious ter pray fur me an
my wife, Twas glad he come, fur |
was mighty firm in my ligion an want.
ed somebody ter talk wild. Ebery time
Tde 60 ter de house, I'd find him sittin
thar singin'. One time ! seed him wild
his arm roun' my wife, but he 'guntel
sing soon as seed him wouldn't
charge him no board, fur he was mon
strous help ter us wild his prars an
songs. Ny wife got ter singin an pray.
in too, an we had fine time. Yes.
terday. dc preacher says ter me, SAYS
he, go inter de closet an pray fur de
salvation of de hosts | went inter de
closet an prayed, an prayed. AFTER
awhile wanted ter come out but found
de doc locked Lemme outer heah,
brudder Josh, | SAYS, says |. but de
bruddor didn't make no responsement.
AFTER a while | busted de doc open
Bruddor Josh an my wife had dun tuck
all my money an run away"
"Well, what have to do with itpN
asked tho governor,
"De business Use got wild you is dis:
Jos come out ter do insane asylum wild
me an pick me out cell what yer own
Judgment tells yer is de fifteen place fur
de biggest fool yersef eber seed"
Get out Of here"
"Aiu't Yer gwine wild mea"
"Mosey, or I'll darken your light"
II goes, but not because Use feared
tor stay, goes. an wild de remem-
brance oh do wust man an most onao.
commodatin gubner l ebcr seed --Ark.
Trdrolcr.