The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1882-04-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

! STRAWBERRY shortcake at a church
festival is charming stuff to eat. II is
such exciting fun to see who gets the
strawberry.
THE Arabshave it that too much sun
shine makes desert which is PROBABLY
the reason that London has never got
its deserts.
SUSAN b. Anthony wants the name of
the Pullman cars altered either to Pull;
man-and women or Pull-irrespective.o
sex cars.
Tue horse has only four feet, but
when the blacksmith has fitted the
horses fore feet, there are two feet more
to be fitted.
"You Just take that bottle of medi-
cine, said quack doctor to consump.
tive, "and you'll never caugh again"
is it 80 fatal as that2" gasped the con-
sumptive.
A NEVADA man announces that he has
iryented a lying machine. II he thinks
Ito has struck anything new he ia mis-.
taken. We've had gas meters for along
time.
KATE Fields believes in cremation.
Yes, but then she never tried it herself.
You take notice, the people who have
been cremated once never want to try il
again.
BEING intoxicated three times de-
prives man of the right to vote under
the French law. II that were the law
in this country, election day wouldn't
amount to much.
The Sacramento Record linton pub
fishes weekly edition that appears
twice week, and now San Francisco
newspaper has started 4semi-weekly"
that is to come out bnt once week.
ais your wife Democrat or Repub-
lican 2" asked Rocklaad citizen of an
other in store this morning. "She's
neither" was the promp. response; and
then glancing cautiously around, and
sinking his voice to hoarse whisper.
he explained, shes Home Ruler
Rockland Banner
A BEAR, wishing to rob a beehive,
laid himself down in front of it and
overturned it with his paw. Now" said
he, IL will lie perfectly still and let the
bees sting me until they are exhausted
and powerless; their honey may then
be obtained without opposition And
it was so obtained, but by a fresh bear,
the other being dead, Detroit Free
Press.
A WISCONSIN man was in the hands
OF lynchers and an offer on his part to
tell where a bottle of whiskey was con
cealed in the woods wouldn't induce
them to reliese him. But when friend
OF his circulated the report that il he
was hanged the details Of a first class
scandle would never come out, they let
him off in hurry. A friend in need
Is friend indeed.
THE Springfield Republican says
the agnosticism OF Reverend Milne of
Chicago will not shake the shrone of
God nor the hope of man. This is
blessed news. We did not know but
Mr.. Milne was going to revolutionize
society, paste, "for rent" on the gates
on Gehenna and reorganiZe Heavenlon
the Oneida Community plan. You
never can tell what Chicago man will
do when he gets started.
THERE are mean men in this world.
Young Symonds got vaccinated with
virus from Gallagher's arm. Hitherto
Symonds had been known as religious
young man. Since the vaccination took
he has acted worse than drummer.
He says it's all the effect Of Gallagher's
blood introduced into his system, and
folkspretend to believe it, and it drives
Gallagher almost to insanity. Mean
trick Of Symonds.
AFTER two western prize fighters had
fought, they got together for an AMIGA
BILE chat over the affair, and before they
got through they got mad aud sailed in,
and the man that got whipped in the
ring whipped the winner OF the fight
all to pieces. And it Just disguised his
friends to think that he did it after they
had paid their bets. 1t makes differ
ence with mans fighting whether he
is mad or not.
SAFE, ANYHow.-S chomburg, upon
returning to his store on Galveston av-
enue, from dinner, found his clerk very
much excited. The clerk said that a
stranger came in, and after asking and
paying the price for a cravat, which
was 81, picked up the entire box. con-
tanning dozen, and went oil with
them. did he pay you de dollar2"
asked Nose. yes responded the
clerk. well, then, We makes, anyhow,
30 per cent. on de investment. Gal
ueston Ners. q
ANOTHER problem is solved at last.
A learned Professor says that the reason
we have trouble to sleep is because
there is an accumulation mainly OF
carbonic acid, that accumulation being
favored and controlled by reflex action
of the nervous system, which thus pro
tects the organism from excessive OK
idation and allows the organism to mani.
fest its normal functional activity
throughout succeeding rylhmic Pc
Rod" Now the world can turn its
phosphoric brain to the solution of
other conundrums.
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asl