The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
The Printer.

The Printer.
Texas Siftings tells abou him in its
funny way, as follows: We will at
tempt to describe the printer without
making any puns on the words and
phrases take" "quoin,' ''proofs"
"out sorts" ETC., and if We succeed
we will be the first who have written
about the printer without distorting
several languages to make puns on
the technical terms of his trade. We
would rather write of the modesty,
diffidence and sobriety Of the printer,
and of his unobtrusive piety and his
unostentatious domestic habits. but
for the fact that the printer has none
of these vices. We would prefer de-
scribing him in the quiet retirement
of the family circle in his coy parlor
on winter night-the revered father
Of a numerous Offspring-teaching his
little ones their catechism; or as he sits
in the mellow twilight of a summers
evening, on the honney-suckle porch
of his modest cottage, earnestly read
ing, by the fading light of day, COM
forting precepts from the inspired
page. We repeat, that is how We
should love to write of him, but alas.
We cannot do justice to our reputation
for veracity as to describe him thus,
as he is-nOt.
The printer begins life as devil
and remains in that chrysalis coudi-
ton for a period OF several years, dur
ing which time his duties consist of
distributing type in wrong cases,
harassing the editors for copy, falling
down stairs with galley full of type,
and consuming early aid unripe ap-
piles, mammoth watermelons, bottles of
homemade wine, and such painful
compliments that are presented to the
editor, and which, not approaching
himself, he sends to the devil. When
he ceases to be devil he becomes a
composition, and assumes all the rights
and privileges of the craft, especially
that of raising the devil every Satur-
day night when he gets paid of.
The printer is gregarious and con-
vivial in his habits, but that is no ex-
cuse for people who continually libel
him by representing him to be in a
condition of inebriety from one years
end to the other. These people are
prejudiced, and they allow their pre-
JUDGES to overshadow their sense of
Justice. We know the printer better
than they do, and although he has
treated us shamefully at times in the
of matter insisting on having his wages
paid more frequently than once in a
while, and declining to take our due
bills in lieu of cash, yet We propose
to fairly represent him, and we cheer
fully bear testimony to the fact that
We know more than one printer who
has been sober for one consecutive
week at time. We could point to
one who, we are satisfied, has not
been intoxicated at any time during
the last two years, and We will answer
for his sObriety for the next two years
to come, if Gov. Roberts does not
pardon him out before that time. The
printer is migratory and impecunious
as rule, but he is usually honest and
pays as he goes. He has been SANDER
ed by writer's in all ages. but no one
has ever accused him Of building him
self q $4,000 homestead and then
compromising with his creditors and
paying ten cents on the dollar. 1t has
been the habit of writers to represent
the printer as making extraordinary
plumbers in composition, substituting
one word for another, and thus alter
ing the sense of q whole article. To
those who are familiar with the sort
of manuscript received in newspaper
Offices, the wonder is that the printer
makes 80 few mistakes. If he had
not more than average intelligence
and patience, he would probably
make as many mistakes as he gets
credit for. He does occasionally try
to improve on what the editor has
written. He thinks that the editor
certainly could not have meant it that
way, go he drops in word of his own
selection "to make sense" as he ex-
presses it, which subsequently causes
the editor to use harsh and unfeeling
language. Sometimes the printer
really does improve on the editors
copy. Not long since We had occasion