Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-07
WIT AND

Passing around the hat is one way
OF getting the cents out of the meeting.
Men should learn humility. A light
ming bug has six legs, a man only two.
The man who was thirteen DAYS on q
bicycle has just bought out a pantaloens
factory.
People learn wisdom by experience.
A man v wakes up his second baby
to see it laugh.
Taking things as they come is not so
very distressing. 1t is parting with
them as they go that cuts one to tho
soul.
Eternal fitness was never more ap-
propriately dove-tailed in than in the
euphonious name of the German pianist,
Hammeritt.
eve 60 in for the old flag" remark
ed the property-owner who was ordered
to lay a new sidewalk along the front of
his lot.
."How did you like the lecturerp'' Il
didn't like him at all. He gave us q
perfect Niagara of words and only q riv-
ulet of ideas"
What is the difference between freight
and cargo. A horse-car conductor saws
the passengers make the freight, and the
horse makes the car &C.
"Meanr' she cried, my husband is
the meanest wretch in the world. He
won't give me the least excuse for COM
planning.
"H'mr calculated Fogg. $50 they
saythi play is taken from lifep I should
say rather that the life is taken from
the play"
In a horse-car-"Campbell, my dear
fellow, don't show good breeding to-
ward the ladies o people will think you
came from the country"
as it injurious to eat before going to
sleep?" asks a correspondent. Why no,
not fatally injurious; but you just try
eating after you go to sleep if you want
to see a circus.
"See, mammal" exclaimed q little
child, as puss, with arching spine and
elevated rudder, strutted around the
table, 'tsee, kitty's eaten so much she
can't shut her tail DOWN.
You do not deal a death-blow to the
Darwinian theory by saying, "Man de-
scended from the monkey, but what did
the monkey descend from?" The mon
key descended from the tree.
Mother, what have people got noses
for?" asked an Austin child of her moth
er, who had seen better days. s'Tot turn
up at poor folks, my child" was the
cynical response.
II understand that your courtship
with Charley is at an end" eyes," said
she; Charley pressed his suit until it
became threadbare, and then l gave him
the sack"
A Kentucky lover, who swore by the
great horn spoon that he'd like to die for
his girl, stood on the river bank and
saw another chap pull her from the wa
ter, and never ven offered him Is cents
reward.
The thing now for city girls rusticat-
ing in the country is to white miniature
hay-ricks out of white wood and send
them to their admirers in town. This
probably signifies 'Come and make hay
while the sun Shines"
Things n would wished to have ex-
pressed differently: Musical maiden
81 hope 1 am not boring you, playing SO
muchP" Enamored youth-"Oh. no!
Pray go on! I'D so much sooner hear
You play than talk"
George, what a lovely color for a re-
ception DRESS" said Mrs. Jones to her
husband, viewing the electric light on
Niagara Falls from the balcony of the
Clifton house. eyes" said Mi. Jones,
''and what a bath for Jumbo"
A Hoosier youth named Gosley or
Gosling, probably the latter, saw a girl
at church, courted her two hours, and
at the end of three was married to her.
A man who does up all his counting in
two hours and marries misses lots of
fun. It's like stuffing himself with
peaches and cream in FIVE minutes and
then have having dyspepsia the rest Of
the year.