The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-10-27

For tying her bonnet under her chin
She TIED young mans heart within.
Mora Perry.
And many time that little chin
He's heard from since, you bet and wins
And bOnnets she's had for her raven hair,
And many time he's been called a bear;
And now she ia throwing her ringlets back,
And says she shall have sealskin sacQuel
-tCourier-Journal.
The Arabs favorite musical instrument
the loot.
what is philosophy" 1t is some
thing that enables rich man to say
there Is no disgrace in being poor.
Why are the Germans like quinine
and gentiana Because they are two ton
les.
Who was the first person in history
who had bang on the forehcadP Go
liah.
II dess know what memory is" said
a little four-year-old. Its the ting I
fordet wiv."
Next we shall have coat-tail fiirta-
ton code. Having the tails covered
with mud will mean, Il don't like her
father"
'.Our rooms are small" said she,
''but live in my husband. "Yes,"
said her friend, Il see you live in q
Hat
1t wasfSidney Smith who restored up
on some one who had called him an ev-
ry-day man: "Well, il l am an every
day man, you are weak one"
They make banana ice cream now.
And it's so slippery that man has TO lie
down on the floor and hold on with both
hands TO swallow any Of it.
An Iowa woman named her baby
after Queen Victoria. and the Queen
never even thanked her for the honor
conferred or asked il the child had red
hair.
A lazy fellow once declared in pub
lie company that he couldn't find bread
for his family. "Nor l." replied an in
dustrious mechanic. 81 am obliged to
work for it."
Once surveyor called at house in
a Western town, and asked the house.
wife if there had been any stakes left
there for him. mo" was the reply;
1--WE get our meat in town.
1t takes but thirteen minutes to lead
an elephant on railroad train, while it
takes twenty for any sort of woman to
kiss her friends goOd-by and lose the
check for her trunk.
"All the worlds stage, Sam, and
the men and women merely players"
Yes. massa, but if dat's so where you
goin' for to get yer audience and Or
chistry?'
Why might one suppose that Webster.
the photographer, was an aesthetic? Be-
cause he enthusiastically says in his
dictionary that the verb 'speak" is to
utter.
A correspondent at Mount Desert tells
of q lady's dress that is a perfect
dream" The nightmare part of the
business was probably enjoyed by the
man who paid for the dress.
Somebody writes us .'the body has
two buildings, two trees, two animals
and two fish. Thus-two temples, two
palms, two calves and two soles." Yes,
and tulips and toe nails.
Have a hack, sir?'' vociferated a
hackman to traveller as he came out of
the depot. The traveller looked at the
turnout and said: mo, not if I've got
to take the horses, too"
The Graphic says that burglars may
be kept out of any house by leaving the
valuables out at night on the front door
STEP" Which is all very well so far as
it goes; but suppose one has not the val
uables, then what?
"Oh! how my soul longs for freedom"
said the oldest Miss BookwOrm, of Bos-
ton, seated on the rock at the Isle of
Shoals. 1.-THE yearning spirit within me
seems as if it would burst its bonds and
seek the future" Susan" said her
father, rising. brushing the sand from
his clothes and moving toward the hotel
Susan, you've eaten too much and
are laced too tight" and he then meand-
cred up the beach.
A Philadelphia man who was going
away travelling promised his wife, who
was afraid to stay alone in the house,
that he would buy her dog. BE sure
and get one that SHORES loud" said his
affectionate better half, lit will remind
me of you while you are away"
"As for Mrs. So-and-so," remarks
one of the guests in q salon where they
are passing their friends under review.
''her worst fault is that she Is bored
wherever she goes" "Her lack of
selfishness is still greater defect"
says another, '.for she insists not being
the only bored person in the COM
pany."
Suppose" said lawyer to witness
he was trying to badger recently-''sup-
pose I.should tell you that could bring
a dozen men of your town to this court
room who would say they would not be-
lieve you on oath, what would you sayP"
And calmly the witness made reply, II
would say you lied"
81 don't miss my church as much as
you suppose" the Boston Globe reports
a lady as remarking to her minister,
who had called upon her during her i'll
ness, ..for make Betsy sit at the win
dow as soon as the bells begin to chime
and tell me who are going to church,
and whether they have got on anything
new"
A lady whose husband was the cham
pion snOrer of the community in which
they resided, confided to female friend
tho following painful Intelligence: my
life has not been one Of unallOyed de-
light. l have had the measels, the
chicken-pox, the cholera. the typhoid
fever and infiammatory rheumatism, but
I never knew what real misfortune was
until married burglar alarm"
The ..lost and found" bulletin boards
at the principal seaside hotels are q
study. The .'lost" side of the board al
ways seems full. People appear to be
losing something all the while. Seaside
life makes them careless, apparently
Then, too, on the other hand, the found
side of the board never seems to have
anything on It. People appear never to
find anything.
"Now, the beauty of a paper collar. I"
remarked the honorable member, coax
ing a refractory pin. sis its economy. You
wear one week, then you turn it and
wear It another week. Then you split
It and you have two new collars with
one clean side, good for another week.
each of EN-" And adjusting the fiat
scarf over the red flannel shirt he went
down to dinner.-Hawkeye.
Some men have tact. Said the bride
groom, who didn't wish either to offend
his bride or die Of internal disturbance:
"My dear. this bread looks delicious; but
it is the first you have ever made. I can
not think of eating it, but will preserve
it to show to our children in after years
as a sample of their mothers skill and
deftness."
"What Ais This Heart Of Minef' Is