Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1882-03-30
Banging Blood and Thunder Nov.
oIiSt

| el1St.
The other day stout woman, armed
with an umbrella and leading a small
urchin, called at the office of New
York boys story paper.
''Is this the place where they fight
Indians!' she inquired of the gentle
man in charge. ''Is this the locality
where the brave boy charges up the
canyon and speeds bullet to the
heart of the dusky redskin?" and she
jerked the urchin around by the ear
and brought her umbrella down on
the desk.
''We publish stories for boys" re-
Piled the young man evasively.
II want to know if these are the
premises on which the daring lad
springs upon his fiery mustang and,
darting through the circle of thunder
struck savages, cuts the captive's cords
and bears him away before the won
dering Indians have recovered from
their astonishment? That's the in
formation Pm after. want to know
if that sort of thing is perpetuated
here!" and she swung the umbrella
around her head.
Il don't remember those specific
acts" protested the young man.
II want to know if this is the pre-
cinct where the adventurous boy
jumps on the back of buffalo and
with unerring aim picks off one by
one the blood-thirsty pursuers who
bite the dust at every crack of his
faithful rife! I'm looking for the
place where that sort of thing hap
pens!" and this time she brought the
unlucky young man tremendous
whack across the back.
Il think" commenced the dodg-
ing victim.
I'm in search of the shop in which
the boy road agent holds the quivering
stage driver powerless with his gilt
tering eve, while he robs the male
passengers with an adroitness born of
long and tried experience, and kisses
the hands of the lady passengers with
a gallantry of bearing that bespeaks
noble birth and chivalrous nature ="
screamed the woman, driving the
young man into the corner. Pm
looking for the apartment in which that
business is transacted - and down
came the umbrella with trip-hammer
force on the young mans head.
''Upon my soul, ma'am-" gasped
the wretched youth.
81 want to be introduced to the jars
in which you keep the boy scouts of
the Sierras. Show me the bins full
of the boy detectives of the prairie
Point out to me the barrels fun of bvy
pirates of the Spanish main!'' and
with each demand she dropped the
umbrella on the young mans skull
until he skipped over the desk and
sought safety in a neighboring can
yon.
"I'll teach 'em!" she painted, grasp.
ing the urchin by the ear and leading
him off. "I'll teach 'em to make il
good or dance. Want to go fight In
dians any more: Want to stant
Iproudly upon the pinnacle of thu
mountain and scatter the plain beneath
with the bleeding bodies of the un
counted slain? Want to say hist !!
in tone that brooks no contradiction
Propose to spring upon the taffrai
and with a ringing word of comman'
send Il broadside into the richly ladel
galley, and then mercifully spare tn
beautiful maiden in the cabin, that sh
may become your bride: Eh? Goini
to do it any more?''
| With each question she hammers
the yelping urchin until his bones wer
sore and he protested his permanen
abandonment of all the glories enum
Grated.
Then come along" said she, TAX
ing him 10y the collar. Let me cate
you around with any more ramrod
and carving knives, and you'll thin
the leaping, curling resistless prairi
fire had swept with a ferocious roar @
triumph across the trembling plain
and lodged in your pantaloons t
stay.''
Recognized 1t.
A school teacher. not a thOusan
miles from Mexico, is describing th