Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-10-12

marked the gentleman, as he turned OH his
heel Waterbury american.
- An aged peasant learns that the village
doctor, to whom he had advanced some small
sums, has just past away, leaving nothing but
debts. ''There ~ says he to his wife, with
delighted chuckle, ''if hadn't had the good
luck to have that fit of inhammatory rheuma-
tism two months ago, where would my money
he ?''-French Fun.
OVER THE GARDEN WALL.-"Good morn
ing, Madam, could I induce you to examine
my moth exterminator 20 inquired an insin-
rating, though seedy peddler. He had crept
through the open garden gate, closed it with
soft click, and advancing via the graveled
walk, had gained the doorstep.
''No, SIR emphatically replied corpu-
lent lady, blocking up the doorway, and spread
ing wide apron so he couldn't see inside:
the house of tiieS.'
''Don't want any,
Are you troubled with gnats -
Mo-
"NSse"itos "No,g bad '"/..
::Atllistsd IA j; with 50achss or water bogs'"
''Or, peradventure, bed bugs"
''Take him, Yp!"
The fat woman stepped aside, and large,
hungry looking dog few at the man of pow
ders. He turndl and fled toward the gate.
1t was catch lSck, and for this reason he
found it necessary, though less convenient,
to take a header over the garden WALL
"Cheek.'
G. They weral talking of the innumerable
caravan of colored men, now passing to the
tomb, who had once been coachman to the
Father of his Country. Brown said they were
one and all impostorS "You wrong them, :"
friend of mine, who has seen Washington" :"
''Nonesense'' said Brown. ''I'l bet you
something on that" ''What shall it be 20
asked Fogg. "a dinnerfor three" Done"
Fogg retired, returning a moment later with
youngish-looking fellow. "Here he is, said
Fogg. ''What - cried Brown; 'do you mean
to say you have seen Washington 20 ooh,
yes,'' was the quiet reply ''lived there two
winters Brown paid for the dinners with
out whimper.
a. II come over to see about your boy"
said a neighbor last evening "He's very
troublesome about my house. He has been
throwing rotton apples into my front yard
and calling my wife old Molle Grubs."
''And was going over to see about your
boy,' was the reiOinder. "He chalked my
wood-shed all over with picture of my wife
driving me out of the back door with ket-
tie of hot water in one hand and broom in
the Other.''
SIS that so?'' Then am for civil service
reform within our families
The boys never knew what they were
''lcked' for that night.
a. 'I'm shaving myself most Of the time
nOw," said the young man proudly, as he ad-
justed his head on the back of the chair. The
barber gazed thoughtfully at the cash on the
left cheek, noted the irregular Maltese cross
in the chin, observed the finely executed out
line map of the Hell Gate excavations on
the left side, lowered over the pieces of ear
that was held in place with pieces of court
plaster and pittyingly scanned the prize COL
lection of pimples and blotches which orna-
mented the neck. Eyes notice you are, :"
he said, musingly, as he softly strapped his
razor.
a. 'sDo you think, Mary, you could leave ia
ther and mother, this pleasant home, with all
it's ease and comforts, and 60 to the far west
with young lawyer, who has but little be-
sides his profession to depend upon, and with
him search out new home, which it should be
your jointduty to beautify and make delightful
and happy like this?' Dropping her head
softly on his shoulder, she whispered, 81 think
I could, Archy." E'Wel, then," said he,
''theres Tom Jones, who's going west, and
wants to get wife. I'll mention it to him."
"a" Into one of our largest dry goods stores
entered gentleman, the other day and with
the air of one who had been used to this sort
of thing all his life, you know, he said to the
astonished saleswoman "Give me a yard OF
marOon-colOred flannel to match the baby,
please" Correcting himself hastily, he began
again: II beg pardon, l mean yard of fan
mel to match marOOn-cOlOred baby-here,
producing bit of flannel from his vest pock
et) want yard of that"
a ut is no use," exclaimed Henderson, at
the family tea table, 1--WE must econOmze.
Beef and mutton are away up, butter and
eggs-everything in fact. Meat once day
is all we can afford; and, mother, you must
give the children some kind of cheap sauce to
save in butter. We must cut down expenses
some way" And Henderson then lights his
titeen-cent cigar and sallies forth to the bill
lizard room, putting out a matter of two OF
three dollars in the course of the evening.
e" "How very chilly is this morning, " said
Cicely to her mother II hardly know what
seen and spring wraps are not warm enough
Land sakes, don't be particular" said her
practical mother. ''Wear my red and black
blanket shawl. That is comfortable, l am
sure' What and look like a washer-wo
man ?" and the dear girl swooned. The fem
inine mind is exceedingly sensitive when mat
tiers of dress are under discussion.
a. A schoolmaster in neighboring town,
while on his morning walk, passed by the door
of a neighbor who was eXcavating a log for a
pig trough.
"Why," said the schoolmaster, 'have you
not furniture enough yet -
YES" said the man, 'enough for my own
family; but expect to board the schoolmas-
ter this winter and am making my prepara-
tions accordingly.'
B- A bibulous parson was introduced to a
lady who had been represented to him as quite
Il talented artist. He greeted her by saying
81 understand, madame, that you paint ~
She started, blushed deeply, and recovering
herself after few seconds, said, with as much
acdity of tone and style as she could COM
mand:
"Well, if I do paint, don't make any mis-
take and put it on my nose