davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1882-03-11

Potato flour. or the dried pulp of the
potato. is attaining great importance in
the arts. 1t is stated that in Lancashire.
England. 20, 600 tons OF ii are sold annual
lv, and it brings at present in Liverpool
about double rs much in the market as
wheat flour. 1t is used for sizing and
other manufacturing purposes.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1882-03-11

The London Live Stock Journal gives
two methods Of starting a balky horse ;
Il. Tire your s,eed out by remaining
perfectly quiet until he starts of his own
accord. ,. When a horse refuses to
draw at all, put him in Il cart in shed
and keep him there until her walks out.
In one instance the obstinate one was
thirty-six hours in the shafts before he
gave in
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
GOT HIM OAR,

There is an old darkey in Austin who claims to have studied iosify outen 8 book" He propounds unanswerable questions to the lawyers whose rooms he cleans, and he discusses, "pints O law" with the justice of the peace of his precinct. Yesterday he went into the justice court and said: "Jedge, kin I git 'dictment writ agin dat wuffiess nigger, Pete?"
 "What's he bein doing? ?"
 "He's procrastimator. He's bin procrastimatin' sab" v"
 ssProcrastinating ?"
 "Yes, sah, dat's what he's bin doin' fur fac"
 "But there's no law against that"
 "No law agin procrastimation n? Den what's de law fur? Ain't procrastima- tion de thief ob time?"
 "Certainly, believe it has been 50 stated"
 "Well, den, ain't Pete thiefp ?"
 "Yes, you might so construe 1t, but You cannot convict a man for stealing time"
 "No, but when we hab got de proof on him fur stealth time, we hab got de circumstantial ebidence agin him fur stealth money? Got yer dar, jedge. " And while the judge and the lawyers groaned, the old man went out chuck ling to himself: "Got him dar. Got de jedge dis time suah yer foot high. "
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
Without a Home.

Near Carthage, in lonely spot rarely visited, sleeps a wandering minstrel of our own times, whose one immortal song has been heard everywhere the English language is spoken. Like the rowing singers of lovely Provence, many times he had nothing but his harp. John Howard Payne was gay Bohe- milan, extravagant in taste, lavish in expenditure living much, too much, "'mid pleasures and palaces" yet with 8 vein of sadness down deep in his heart. He died while holding the office of Con- sul, and plain marble slab, sent out by the Government of the United States, markes the grave of the homeless man, sixty years wanderer on this earth, the author of Home, Sweet Home."
 One winter he was without money or credit, and in London had not where to lay his head. He tried to quiet the pain of hunger and homelessness by looking in at windows and from the areas scenting good cheer. It was Christmas Eve, the snow fell fast, the wind was sharp and keen. At one lux urious house the hungry man stopped and watched the lighting of the Christi mas tree. Its candles streamed brightly on the pavement, and among the ever- greens he could see the red berries of holly, the toys and garlands, and the pretty heads of children. They danced and clapped their hands while the pres ents were distributed, and the air rang with shouts, laughter, and screams o delight. When the merriment hai spent itself little, one young girl wen to the piano and struck up "Swee Home," while the family joined in rousing chorus. Was ever contrast s'
 bitter?
 have this from Mrs. Consul. Genera
 Heap. Payne told it to her long afte
 those evil days were passed.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
Counterfeit Pumpkin Pies.

This is the season when pumpkin pies are made of squash, and good deal of custard thrown in; but they are a de- fusion and snare compared to the veritable pumpkin pie, the New England Thanksgiving kind. made out of the sweet yellow field pumpkin, full of inn prisoned sunlight and "stewed deown" till it is just a thick cream, favored with nutmeg and ginger and 'lasses, and Drowned just right in mothers oven. on the pantry shelves along in the last week of October and the first of Novem- Der, with odorous mince pies to flank them, and quince and cranberry tarts for change, with narrow strips of criss-cross paste that divided the out ward semblance of the pies, so there could be no mistake. Nobody had ever heard tell of squash pie then. It was Boston philosopher of whom they tell this story: He was passionately fond of pumpkin pie and yearned for it in vain at his boarding house. He had no idea what pumpkin pie was, but he told the landlady he would furnish the material for the pies, and went out on a foraging expedition. The next day at dinner he was surprised to receive a plate of pudding for his dessert. 'Where is my pie?" he asked indig. nantly. "There isn't any," coolly re. piled his landlady; ''we can't make pumpkin pie out of mock oranges"
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
The Ex-Candidate.

We met friend of ours the other day who had been very active in hls efforts to secure a certain county nomination from his party, which he failed to get. He grasped us warmly by the hand, which he shook with great vigor, his face beaming all over with smiles, as he exclaimed in the heartiest manner:
 "How are you, old boyp Glad to see you. How we'll you are looking. 'Pon my word, never saw you looking so fine in my life."
 We remarked:
 "Why this exuberance?
 And he said, in some little confusion
 "There it goes again. Forgot I wasn't 8 candidate any more. Got so ln the habit of shaking hands with people and complimenting them that it has become second nature almost"
 els that the way it has to be done ?'' we asked.
 "Bless your innocent heart, of course it is. you want au office you must be friendly with everybody and appear to take the most violent interest in every mans affairs. If you don't they will SC back on you-say you are stuck up. am 8 grave man naturally, but l was compelled to wear my face wreatbed il smiles so long that it feels as though il was wrinkled all out of shape, and would never come straight again. have done so much hand-shaking that my righ hand clutches convulsively in my sleeE sometimes, my wife says, and I mutter Glad to see you, old fellow. Never saw you look better in all my life.' I tel you, sir. I shall be glad to get back tt my normal condition once more, ant when I do I intend to foreswear politics so long as live. It makes confoundet hypocrite of man. ."-.Saturday Night
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
SOCIETY NOTE.

The harmony of social gathering at the Yerger Mansion on Austin avenue, was in manner marred by the conduct of Kosiusko Murphy.
 There were some choice figs on the table, and Murphy helped himself so literally that Mrs. Yerger, who brides herself on her gentility. became ex- asperated. Finally, when Murphy reached for the figs for the fifth time, she remarked with asperity:
 "Mr. Murphy, you ought to go to California to live."
 s'I would like to very much; but then would miss the refined culture of the Austin people,"
 "But you ought to go to California, nevertheless.
 "Why SOP" he asked, reaching out for more figs.
 "Because I read in newspaper that figs are so plentiful there that they feed them to the hogs." ....r
 Murphy was so carried away by the magnitude of the fig crop on the Pacific slope that, without waiting to finish his supper, he started at once, probably to get his ticket before the office closed.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25

"Who will rise up and hold this mpn- ster and pull the victims from it's paws and teeth? Our physicians will do it. They know what it is to be called, not only to the bedside of the poor wretch, but also to the wealthiest homes of the great city, amid masterpieces of the painters art, under gorgeous canopies to hold down on the embroidered pillow the victim of delirium tremens, into whose diseased imagination generations have seemed to pour their reptiles and perdition to have poured its devils.
 "Women will join the prohibition party, for they have seen the red dragon with one foot on the nursery, another foot on the wardrobe, another on the empty bread tray, and the other foot saturated with the tears and the blood of desolated home. The churches of God must support the new party. The rum-drinking professors of religion will have gone clear over to the devil, who owns them all. All the churches of this country will work together, until in the future museums there will be standing side by side the lachrymal of ancient times and the demijohn of the modern cellar, both the curiosities of antiquity; and the antiquarian will explain them in his lecture, one as the receptacle of the tears of the dead, and the other the fountain of the tears of the living.
 ''Down with rum drinking Up with national prohibition No quarter for the license systeml Eternal smash to the wine bottle Upon the red dragon of alcohol draw the sword of Gideon. D
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
VOL. XII.

powder, On one of the Western rivers Federal gunboat one day fired into one of these foaters, and, though pistol shot away from it, the explosion shook the vessel until she groaned and flooded her decks with muddy water.
 Later on in the war both North and South made use of torpedo fastened to a spar which projected from the bow of the boat and could be exploded from in- board at the right moment. The spar and it's heavy weight in the water was 8 terrible load on ship, and only in few instances did the invention meet with success.
 Shortly after the new Ironsides had taken her station before Charleston the Confederates brought out the torpedo boat which now lies in the Brooklyn Navy Yard among the relics. The Devil" as it was afterward known, was baby monitor, showing scarcely an inch above the surface, and carrying no smoke-stack. When sighted from the deck of a vessel it was mistaken for fish. A confederate naval commander named Glassel ran this boat out of Charleston one night with torpedo and spar at her bow, having only men enough to work her. The Ironsides was at anchor, and he steamed straight at her. The boat made no more commo- tion than shark would have created, and the Ironsides was struck before any one had suspicion of the complexion of the strange visitor.
 The torpedo boat ran full at the great ship and exploded the torpedo fairly un- der her. The ship was not lifted, but was swashed to one side as if suddenly pushed, most of her guns upset, her crew thrown about, dozens of beams and braces broken, and such damage in general created that she had to leave the station at once for an overhauling. The explosion threw a column of water fifty feet high, almost drowning the ves- sel, and this very fact created the disas- ter to the launch. She was buried three feet under water, rolled about like 8 fish, and some of the light stuff blown overheard from the Ironsides fouled her machinery at the same time her fires drowned out. Thus incapable of mo- tion, and right under the fire of the marines, the boat was obliged to sur render.
 Poor as she was, and laboring under the difficulties she did, the Southern Confsderacy brought the torpedo prob- lem to such point as to destroy in the last two-and-a-half years of the war over sixty Federal vessels, at least twenty of which were armed craft. The loss foot ed up to millions of dollars, and the cost was mere nothing.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
A Libel Suit.

There has been an unusual degree of public interest shown in the trial of a libel suit before Judge Horace Russell, in the Superior Court in New York City. clair Tousey, President of the American News Company, for $2O, 900 damages for distributing and circulating an alleged libelous article concerning her, which was published in a weekly paper called N.yma Crinkle. The publication was ad- mitted by the defense, and an effort was made to justify it by showing that the young actress was unchaste and bore bad reputation generally. A mass of unclean testimony was introduced which caused the court room to be filled from day to day with an eager crowd of men and boys. Several of the lady's love letters were introduced, and her own pe- culiar pertpess on the witness stand added to the sensational features of the case. The drift of popular sentiment all through the trial was decidedly with the plaintiff, and the jury manifested it's belief in her womanly purity by award ing her damages in the sum of $12, 800. If this verdict is reaffirmed in the higher courts, where the case will probably be taken, it will be a marked significance with regard to the responsibility of tho American News Company and similar concerns. One of the main points at issue in the trial just closed was whether the news company should be held re- sponsible for what was printed in the papers circulated by it. The plaintiffs s counsel, in summing up before the jury, urged that the only way to curb the malicious and libelous tendencies of 8 certain class of irresponsible publica- tions was by making whatever company that circulated them responsible. He declared that New York was full of er- ratio publications, none of which could live long enough to reach the public ii it were not for just such circulating me. diums as the American News Company. Ex- Judge Fullerton, counsel for the American News Company, argued that, although his client was technically re- sponsible under the law for the matter contained in the papers which it clrcu. lated, still the news company should not be mulcted in damages for publication which they did not incite, did not print. and did not even know about until aftel the distribution of the papers. Judge Russell ruled that, inasmuch as tho American News Company enjoyed Ger
 tain special advantages as circulating medium under the laws of the State by which it was enabled to derive pecuni ary benefits, It should be held to stric accountability for whatever there wal
 of legally objectionable nature in thu papers which it distributed. It was th' duty of the news company to ascertain the character and contents of each pub
 lication before giving it to the public.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
A Rare Chance for Inventors.

The Galveston Ne,Os says:-Cotton- pickers are now getting dollar per hun dred pounds of seed cotton, price so remunerative that even the lazy city voter by profession has been induced to leave the exciting scenes, the free drinks and soclal equality of the time, to earn a stake for the winter, garnering the feecy staple in it's vast abundance. From the interior towns and cities, especially, have these happy go-lucky people emi- grated to the fields, and left behind tEem dearth of labor which asserts it's needs and existence in the "want" col umns of the press. It probably costs the people of Texas $15, 100000 per an- mum to gather 8 crop of cotton. The crop of the Southern States is worth not less than $50, ,OeO, 900 more at the gins than it is in the fields. Here is presented the grandest incentive to me- chanical invention that all the industries Of the world may offer. A machine capable of picking as much cotton as an industrious farmer of Texas can raise would supply the place of @ dozen active field hands. In this age of invention many have attempted the task. Some have given it their whole endeavors for years, but all have failed. Southern planters, in case steam cotton picker was invented, would find their business revolutlonized. Their field work costs them more per day per hand than any other unskilled labor in the world. An invention of that kind would give the Southern planter an almost absolute though legitimate monopoly of cotton. raising and free them from the labor corner every fall and winter. Then why do not the cotton producing interests of all the States offer reward in money so tempting that it would enlist the brightest and most successful inventors of the world in the attempt to solve the problem? A million dollars could be raised for the purpose by very small contributions from each planter. Tn case this plan is not adopted, it is sug
 gested that the faculty and students o
 the agricultural and mechanical colleges of the Southern States turn their atten
 tion in that direction. The cotton gi1 was invented in the South why may n ot the cotton. picker be alsO?
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
After Thirty Years.

Before ice became a universal luxury people were in the habit of hanging butter in their wells to keep it cool and sweet; and that is doubtless the custom still where ice is scarce and dear. It must have happened thousand times that the cord broke and the butter dis appeared, but there can't have been many cases where it was recovered after thirty years. Such ap incident has just given local fame to MT. Goodman's we'll in Bloomfield, Conn. A workman who was cleaning it found at the bottom e ball of butter and the dish in which 1t was suspended thirty years ago. It is pure white and has the consistency and odor of spoiled cheese.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
The Spy.

In Sir Garnet Wolseley's little manual entitled "The Soldiers Pocket Book, '" this extraordinary passage occurs !: "As nation we are bred up to feel it a disgrace even to succeed by falsehood. The word spy conveys in it something as repulsive as the word slave. We will keep hammering along with the convic' tion that honesty is the best policy, and that truth always wins in the long run. " These pretty little sentences do we'll enough for child's copy book, but the man who acts upon them in war had better sheathe his sword forever.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Tracing the Blood Back-Take a
 Man as You Find Him.
tErom the Detroit Free Press ]

from the Detroit Free Press.1
 "What am gwine to remark" ob- served Brother Gardner, as Elder Toots quietly dropped off to dream of the canefelds of the olden time. "am to de effeck dat dis club doan' keer two cents whedder a members gran'fadder was hung for wakin' up policeman asleep on his beat, or sot in de halls of Con- eress wid his hat on his ear an his fame fioatin' ober ebery county in de land. 1t am not de dead gran ladder but de llbln member dat we has to do wid. If Brud- der Shin's great uncle was King Of de Cannibal Islands dat doan' help Samuel to pay his rent or buy his 'taters. Whalebone Howker may trace his blood back to an Emperor who owned 1O,OOO mules, but Whalepone will pay fine of three dollars ebery time he spits on de stove, same as de res' of you. Boom erane Johnson could no doubt establish de fact dat he am descended from household which could pay milk-blli widout havin' to pawn de side-board, but it am nebertheless sartin dat Brud- der Johnson won't have any pancakes grow cold on his table dis winter.
 "Judge man as you find him, an doan forgit dat de son of Senator kin display all de meanness expected of de son of convict. If dar am any mem- Der in dis club who wants his lineage traced back six or seben thousan' y'ars to see whether his relashuns took fust or second cabin passage in de ark, or wants his blood stralned to see if 1t am blue or red, let him go ahead; but at de same time feel it my dooty to warn all sich pussons dat it am fur cheaper to buy ten-cent gimlet an hire five cent boy to bore hole in de top of yer head an let de vanity blow itself off. De Seckretary will now call de roll an make out list of sich members as want to trace deir blood back to Ham,"
 The roll was called, and not one mem Der of the 164 present responded. When the call had been finished Prof. Russ. l lOIU dLhOI d1OoO 1hNA seoAASN AA WAIVE was any objection to his taking steps to find out whether his grandfather was g poet or blacksmith.
 "Dar' am r was the prompt reply "kase it would be loss of time. knowed de ole man myself, an I kin in form you dat he was muffin but werr, common nigger, who wouldn't do al hours work week onless kicked to 1t I also remember dat he was squint eyed, an had heels so long dat he coul' war his butes hind side afore."
 The Professor weaved to and fro for moment and then fell back in 8 dea' faint, and it took four members to carr, him to the ante-room and steal hi pocket-knife and plug tobacco and re store him to consciousness by shoutin "mad dog 1" down the back of his neck
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
A Patent Medicine Paradise.

If the negroes in the South could read there would be such demand for patent medicine, porous plasters, pills and stomach bitters as would force every manufacturer to double his help and capacity. The negro is always ailing. No matter how healthy he looks or how strong he seems, he believes himself afflicted. If he could read almanacs and circulars he would think so twice as strongly.
 At Dalton, Ga., saw 8 big fellow pick up barrel of flour as easily as I could have lifted twenty-five pound sack, and when l complimented him on his strength he replied:
 "Yes, boss, seems powerful strong, but you doan' know what hard time I has of it. Ize got fiber complaint, dys- pepsia and consumpshun, an I reckon I won't neber see snow fly again."
 I asked him what remedies he had been using, and he replied that he had been taking the dust of burnt leather and mixing it with cold tea. Nothing whatever ailed him, but if he could have got hold of BIO he would have used eight of it Tn buying medicine.
 was in livery stable at Marietta when 8 man came in with 8 bottle oi prepared Jamaica ginger. One of the colored men employed about the stable, who hadn't lost day for years and who looked as rugged as mountain, looked at the bottle three or four times and then asked
 "What ye got dar, Kurnel?
 Something for apoplexy," was the reply.
 "Would ye mind givin' me sip of Ii kase my apoplexy has been takin' on il de moas' drefful manner for de las week ?"
 "You can take pull if you wish to.
 The cork was drawn and the negro lifted up the bottle and took three heav, swallows of the fiery stuff. The nex three minutes ware the longest and hot est ones he ever saw, but as soon as h. could speak he remarked:
 "Ah but dat stuff seems to hit d. right spot. reckon it will cure up m, apoplexy all right, an like huff ] ma, light on sumthin' else good fur conges tion of de lungs an water on de brain. M, QUAD.
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
Trifing.

An application of novel character was made to the magistrate of 8 London police court not long since. A woman stated that she wanted a summons against another woman in whose house she lodged. In answer to an inquiry as to what she required the summons for, the applicant explained that her land lady annoyed her by Ca nasty sort of laugh" The magistrate was himself an noyed at his time being thus taken up unnecessarily, and declined to grant & summons against the offending land lady. "H," he observed, "I had to grant summonses for such nonsense as this, do not know how the business of the court would be got through"
Connecticut western news., 1882-10-25
GAINING A oH1np's AFFECTIONS.


 Parson Whangdoodle Baxter was out walking last Sunday in the suburbs of Austin, when he suddenly came upon 8 colored urchin, who had absented him. self from Sunday school, and who fled at the sight of his spiritual adviser, who, however, started in swift pursuit, and soon overlook the fugitive.
 "What you run foah as soon as you seed me, Gwage Washington ?" he asked of the trembling culprit.
 "Bekase I was afeard ob you, Par son."
 "I dosn't want yer to be afeard ob me, sonny. I wants yer ter Tub an cling ter me like was yer own ladder, and taking the boy by the arm, Le warmed him with his cane.
 "Now, is yer gwine ter Tub me from now on-whack-like I was-whack- yer own fadder2 Is yer-whack-gwine ter quit bein' skeared-whack, whack, whack-when yer meets mel What has I ebber done-whack-s still, will yer ?-what has ebber done ter weaken my grip on yer affecshus ?-whacF, whack, whack
 "Dar, now," finally said the colored pastor, as he released George, and panted from over-exercise, ''ef you ebber feels cold t'wards yer pasture, I'll warm up yer affecshuns so yer'H want ter come and lib wid me-.