The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-21
MISCELLANY.
THE FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS ALBUM.


This" the young lady said, sis the pho
tograph of young gentleman who used to
pay attention to Aunt Martha. He il very
nice young man. He was attending Leath.
erhead College when this picture was
taken.n
And he was a nice young man. His col
lar wanders out over bis shoulders and his
necktie looks like roll Of carpe. with the
ends fringed His vest is fiowered pattern
of velvet, cat low in the neck. His coat is
Prince Albert and as legs hang down
from the vast embrace of its circlina tails.
making him look like double tongued bell.
His trousers are broad, and he leans on a
large book in very painful attitude. His
hair is combed low on his forehesd aud high
at his temples, thus displaying the broad
sweep and comprehensive scope of two ears
that flare with the unfolding spread Of intel
lectual development His brow is contract
ed with thought and the intense effort to look
fxedly at the impossible point indicated by
the artist, The freckles on his nose do not
show. They We're kindly and carefully OBJ
liberated by the photographer, whose motto
is, " Art for arts sake" and who saw they
were the only real and natural things in the
negative.
And this !" sald the young lady, :" is a
photograph of Mrs. Thistiepod, an old friend
of the family. / think l have heard it said
that pa liked her, indeed, before he met ma.
1t is not very good photograph.
The young lady is correct. The execu-
ton is not q brilliant success. The bonnet
which is massive and of multihora style of
decoration, is well outlined, and the massive
bow of four-inch ribbon with which it is tied
under the chin is brought out in startling
relief against the blank, oval-shaped space
bet ~een it and the brow of the "bunnet f"
which is supposed to represent the placid
features of "pa's" early fame. Crossed
on her lap, in close focus, Mrs. Thistlepod's
hands are magniffed into the dimensions of
small hams with fingers. This colossal eff
feet is also rather emphasized by the two
long fingers of the gloves. Mrs. Thistlepod
is sitting SO rigidly erect that you fear she
has swallowed the head rest by mistake in
stead of leaning against it, as she was told.
The deadly weapon laying ON her lap is
sometimes taken for policeman's billy. II
is Mrs. Thistlepod's fan.
And here" the young lady went on, sis
Mr.. Thistlepod. He is a very kind hearted
man. AtA
was glad she told me so. Mrs. Thistle.
pod had made her husbands shirts under
the impression that he was n rapidly grow
ing boy instead of man of ~ years, weigh.
ing already l72 pounds; the shirt boils and
bubbles and wrinkles up out of his vest front
His collar stands up like the ear of terlie,
ON one side, but droops away in lhnguid an,
gularity on the other. His black necktie,
after passing five times around his neck, is
tied in a knot, the secret hitch of which is
only acquired by long years of actual prac.
tice in tying old fashioned ham strings
The coat he wears is the awful coat of the
Sabbath day and Fourth of July, and the sci
of those fearful and wonderful pantaloons
oil taut on the larboard tack, betrays th,
solitary suspender in all its loneliness On,
knotted knee is crossed above the other ant
the suspended foot hangs cut in the air like
the coffin of Mohamet. His trousers craw
up the rigid legs of his boots. In one hand
with the arm still fixed III the frozen agony
of an acute angle at which the "artist" sci
it, he holds stove-pipe hat with a leve
brim. with the tendency of despairing
man who will only loose his vise-lke grip
upon that hat with death. The other arm
has been lashed across his body, and the ex-
tended fingers driven between his vest and
Goa. with q sledge hammer. You cannot
see the ten-penny nails which pin his arm to
its place. but You know they are there. Mr..
Thistlepods hair is combed straight out
from his head In both directions from any
point of view. His lipsare set, and his eyes
glare with the panied expression of a man
who has just been given the pleasant alter
native of having his tooth pulled or the boil
on the back of his neck lanced as the only
cure for the felon on his thumb In all the
agony of his face you can read murder in
his heart, and the beholder is glad to have
the pretty young girls word for it, that Mr..
Thistlepod is a kind hearted man.
And this" the young lady said, pitching
her voice in little lower key, while FAINT
color mantles her cheeks, this is George
Stevenson" tutEls - : ) y -
knew by her voice and manner that
George was the most important man IN the
album, but her father came in just then to
take the train, and had only q brief glance
at George Stevenson. His collar was very
his neck was very lono His curlipp hair
curleu ny never nalr cuflb outSiue Vi coui.-