davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
Sharper Than 4 Lawyer

A wag of lawyer, says an Iowa
paper, was sitting in his Office the other
day deeply engaged in unravelling
some knotty question, when gentle
man entered and inquired
SIS this Mr.. Up
The student Of Blackstone, raising
his eyes from the legal book before
him, replied: "If you owe me any.
thing, or have any bushes in my line,
then lis my name; if you haze
any claim to present am not the man.
If you called for a special chat, you
can call me any name you choose"
81 propose to present you with some
business in your line. have a note
of $25 which want you to collect.
So saying, he handed the lawyer note,
and departed to call again the next
day.
AS soon as he WAS gone the lawyer
learned that it was one Of his
own promises to pay. The next
day his client again appeared and in
quired:
"Well what succese?"
CAN right; l have collected the
money. Here it is, less my fees" hand
ing him $15.
"Goodp said the client. II have
made 81 so by this operation"
How soY" said the lawyer.
"Well," replied the client, 81 tried
all over the city to sell your note for
So so and couldn't do it,"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

to write when they were children, and
can add up column Of figures without
counting on their fingers. The scene
liz the room where the ballots are being
counted generally conveys the impres-
sioE of kindergarten in a tobacco
shop. When man attempts TO clear
away 81 blot of ink by licking it, and
pursuing it with his avenging tongue
clear across tally sheet in ane broad
and ever widening smear, that scholar
is not far enough advanced, and is not
sufficiently familiar with pen and ink
to serve as clerk of election. And you
may grapple that fact to your soul
with hooks of steel. Any kind of hook
will d., because Whatever nook. will
steal.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
Why She Asked Again.
Hackensack Republican.

"Won't you please tell me where tho
Closter train is ?" asked petite, hand
some woman of Hackensack man in
the Jersey City depot Of the New York,
Lake Erie & Western railway, yesterday
afternoon.
You mean the Carlstadt train p he
suggested.
"No, sir; that's what they all tell me.
What want is the train for Closter--
CI-o-s-t-e-r," she smilingly said. "Can
YOU tell me where it is?"
~ can't say exactly, but"
Just here big, burly, blue-coated
official stepped up, ard with pompous
air, exclaimed:
eve told you four times where that
train wasl"
Every true, sir" replied the polite
little lady, "but you tcld me different
every time"
The official wilted and shufi,ed off in
despair. while the lady found the train.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
THOUSAND AUTO
GRAPHS.

hSs
The Man Who is spending Eight
Hours n Day just Now IN Writing
His Name.
K gentleman with mass of white
hSir, flowing side whiskers, resolute
mouth, and eyes in which there was
an expression of grim determination,
sst bolt upright in his chair in the sub.
treasury building signing his name on
the new gold certificates with the regu-
larity and precision of an automaton.
1t was the Assistant Treasurer Thomas
G. Acton in the act OF trying to keep
ahead of the demand.
"What--is--it?' he asked with a
rythmical accentuation in keeping with
the mechanical swing of the hand hold
ing the pen.
''The san sent me down to see you
sign the new certificates"
''Sit down."
Glow does it go?'
81 am tweuty-nine millions--of
dollars-ahead of-the demand"
''Do you sign all day long?"
"Never stop--from 8 till 5--even for
"a lunch. Signed seven--thous times
in three-days. Thirteen thous-
and Signatures since-the Sd in
slant"
isn't it getting rather monotonous?
"Well, am-becomins somewhat
-satiated."
"The Washington dispatches say
that you asked for the privilege of
signing all of the new certificates
Its lie; the job WAS given-to me,
and I'm bound to do it. There are
a-hundred millions-in the house
but will-get through
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
Active Demand for Fiue Forms.

New York Mail and Express: The fol-
lowing advertisement appeared in one
of the morning newspapers yesterday
XX/ANTED-YogN LADIES TO ACT
w as figures in suit department; only those
well adapted to the bushes. reed apply.
A reporter for the Mail and Enprt rs
called at the time that the Advertise
ment appointed, but not for the pun
pose of posing as "a figure" 1--WE hire
women for their forms" said the shop
keeper. "My business is all form.
Look about you and you Will see at
forty women of all sorts, sizes and
shapes engaged at present in the fran
tic endeavor to attract my attention,
so that l may engage their services.
These women we use for many things,
to fix dresses on and TO pin cioaks to,
and to jam mats over, and, in fact every
thing except to talk TO or to reason
with. Oh, they al find it necessary to
bring their finest forms to us, but after
the days business is over we do not
interest in what they do with them.
Whether they lay them carefully by
in their bureaus, or squeeze the wind
out of them or read them liz none OF
our business. The women cone from
all parts Of the city, and as soon as they
present themselves TO us we send them
upstairs to our forewoman. She pas
ses on their eligibility. Ii they are up
70 the required standard we engage
them and pay them - week. They
are supposed to remain here from
O'clock in the morning until 6 O'Clock
IN the evening, and besidee being used
as figures they sometimes carry bun
dies. Tney are much more handy
than an ordinary dummy, because we
can simply direct them what to do, and
we are in the most instances obeyed
1t is true we cannot kick them into
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

The head of large business firm in
Boston, who was noted for his keenness
in discerning character, was seated at
his desk one day, when a young Irish
lad came up and took of his hat, smil-
ing.
DO you want boy, sir2"
Mr.. j. looked at him.
81 did not minute ago. But / DO
now, and you are the boy"
He said afterward that he was COM
pletely captured by the honest, frank,
all-alive face before him. The boy en-
tered his service, rose to be confident
ial clerk, and is now successful mer-
chant.
Here is another story in which boy
readers may find hint worth atten-
ton.
Thirty years ago Mr.. H., nursery
man in New York state, left home for
a day or two. 1t was rainy weather
and not the season for sales, but Gus
toner arrived from n distance, tied up
his horse and found his way to the
kitchen of the farmhouse, where the
two lads were cracking nuts.
"Mr. II. at homer"
"No sir" said the eldest, Joe, ham
mering nut.
When will he be back?'
Dunno, sir. Mebbe not for week"
The other boy, Jem, jumped up and
followed the man out. cine men are
not here, but ! can show you the
stock" he said, with such a bright
courteous manner that the stranger,
who was little irritated, stopped and
followed him through the nursery, ex-
amined the trees and left his order.
"You have sold the largest bill that
have had for tn is season, Jem," his
father, greatly pleased, said to him on
his return.
"1'm sure" said Joe, sullenly, "Pm
as willing to help as Jem, if I'd thought
in time"
A few days afterward, these two boys
we're left by their fathers failure and
death with but $500 or $500 each. Joe
with his bought an acre or two near
home. The land was poor, the crops
scanty, the market low. He has work
ed hard and faithfully, but is still a
| pun, oCuI DOu1 III
an emigrant's ticket to Colorado. hired
as cattle diver for couple of years
with his wages bought land at 40 cents
an acre, built himself house and
married. His herds Of cattle are mum.
bercd by the thousand, his land has
been cut up for town lots, and he is
ranked as one of the wealthiest men in
| the state.
81 might have done like Jem," his
brother said lately, "if I'd thought in
time. There's as good stuff in me as
in him."
His wife, hearing him, gave sor-
rowful laugh. there's as good stuff
in that loaf of bread as in any that /
ever made" said she, "but nobody can
eat it. There is not yeast enough in
it." The retort, though disagreeable,
was true. This quice wide-awake en-
ergy which acts as leaven in charac-
ter is partly natural, But it can be
inculcated by parents and acquired by
boy if he chooses to keep his eyes
open and to act promptly and boldly
in every emergency.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
-N-
A FATAL MISTAKE.
Two GeOrgians Engaged in Watching
n Cane Patch Meet in the Thick
Brake and One OF Them sh cots the
Other for n Thief.

Other for n Thief.
Saturday morning details of an &C.
cidental killing which occurred near
Macon reached Atlanta. 1t seems that
James Dunden and Charles Tankersley
are interested in q sugar-cane patch a
short distance from Macon. For some
time past--in fact ever since the cane
has ripened-quantiGies of the cane
have been stolen, thieves making al
most nightly raids, and Thursday night
Dunden made an arrangement with a
neighbo-, Richard Davis, to watch the
patch. Both armed themselves with
double barrelled shot-guns, and for
some cause or other the friends seps.
rated to meet at the patch, and Dun
den was the first to reach there, and
he supposed that his friend was already
there, but on the opposite side, as
agreed upon. He had not been there
long before he heard rustling in the
cane, and, supposing the intruder to
be thief, let loose both barrels. To
his horror he found that he had shot
LIS friend, one load taking effect in the
stomach and the other SCATTERING his
left arm. Dunden went at one for
help, and Mr.. Davis was taken to
Tankersley's house and physician
sent for. AS coon as the physician
saw the wound he pronounced it a
fatal one. Though Mr.. Davis was alive
Sunday, it is thought that there is no
chance for him to live. The affair is
deeply deplored by all in the settle
meut. Dunden and Davis are promi-
nent citizens of the locality in which
they reside, and tseir friends in the
vicinity ana Macon deeply regret the
sad affair.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

Father Peter John Becks, the General
Of the order of Jcsuits, is now in his
S7th year, and his declining health has
Of late given rise to much speculation
concerning his proable successor. He
has been at the head of the order for
nearly thirty years, which is an unusual
ly long period, since it is the rule for
only men already well advanced in
years to be elevated to the position.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
ue.hs for winter use. saws tn,

Herbs for winter use, says the
Washington Tribune, should be gath
cred when the plants are In flower;
Just as the flowers begin to fade is con-
sidered the best time to harvest them.
The herb garden was formerly of great
er importance than it Is in these days
of patent medicines, but whether this
change is an advantage to health may
well be questioned. To dry herbs it is
best to tie them in small bundles and
hang them up in an airy shed.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

The imperial family Of Russia has at
last, it is reported. decided TO recog-
Nae the Princess Dolgorouki, the mis-
tress of the late car, and has accord
ingly invited her to return TO ST. Pet
ersburg, where she will henceforth
make her home in one of the royal
palaces.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

affected, though in close proximity
with the diseased potatoes.
In storing potatoes it should always
be kept in mind that dampness en-
courages the fungus, and that stagnant
humidity, whether in field or cellar,
is deadly to potatoes, because favorable
To the growth of fuhgi.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

The mexican lady, who has been
making the rounds OF the Western
cities, as the wife of the President of
the Republic OF Mexico. under the
name of Mrs. Juarez, or Mrs. Coma
les, is Mrs. Laura Mantecon. She was
married to President Gonzales, but q
separation took place more than SIX
years ago.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

Prince Bismarck, who has long been
one of the most decorated personages
in Christendom, has just received an
addition TO his decorations IN the Order
of Chrysanthemum, conferred upon
him by the hikado of Japan. He has
now forty-6ve decorations.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

A well known journalist recently en-
bodied in his editorial on one of the
issues OF the day n quotation, introduce
ing it in this manner: "As a certain
good writer once said," etc. When his
wife read the article she asked: "Who
is the good writer that you refer to?"
The editor hesitated moment, then
modestiy replied: Myself"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

Tsait'ien, the emperor eff China, has
lust completed bis 18th year. He sue
ceeded to the throne in January, 1875.
His surname is KwaDgsu, or "Contin-
uation of Glory" and he Is the ninth
Hwangti (emperor) of the Tartar dy..
nasty Of Using "The Sublimely Pure"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

NJ Sary has opened negotiations for
the future appearance in Paris Of the
giantess Marian" who is now--at
height of eight feet two inches-all
a-growing, and possessing the true pre-
RafeIite maxillary angle.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19

The wife Of the notorious Tichborne
claimant, and her two children, are in
mates ola workhouse at Southampton,
Eng. She still persists in calling her
self Lady Tichborne," and her name
s.ands as such on the workhouse reg
lister.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-19
Boys no Succeed.

The head of large business firm in
Boston, who was noted for his keenness
in discerning character, was seated at
his desk one day, when young Irish
lad came up and took off his hat, smil-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22
New Louisiana Election Law

New York, 2I.-TImes editorial: 1t il
is said X-COngressman Acklen, Of un-
savory reputation, is the author of the
election Law in Louisiana. The inventor,
whoever be may be, is entitled to the
credit of having distaneed all com.
petitors in the great southern struggle for
the best machinery 10 prevent free bal
lot. Ackleu's plan is far simpler than
the brutal and troublesome bulldozing
and intimidation, or fu.sy stuffing of bal
lot boxes. The new Louisiana election
law provides that no ballot shall be re.
ceived or counted unless printed on paper
OF peculiar quality. tint and thickness,
to be furnished by the secretary Of state,
afte= due form of application
This is simplicity, indeed. The
secretary of state is a democrat. He
controls the precious material of which
the alleged freemsR's bAltot is composed:
he decides from this time forth who shall
cast vote in louisiana. Should this
plan be sdo7taa throughout the southern
states, rife clubs may be disbsnded, night
riders be permitted to stop at home, and
the use of the tissue paper bsllets be
abandoned, and the effect of q partisan
officer will be to cast the vote of each en-
tire state, and solid south be once more
made secure.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22

Chicsgo, 2O.-Robert Hiding, one OF
the SWedes arrested here some time ago
for trivial offense, and who confessed to
the murder of Sophia DahlberR in Stock
holm, Sweden, il 1875, now denies any
knowledge Of the murder of Sophia
DAhlbetg, beyond what be learned from
Swedish ipapers at the time He says
when be and Robertson were arrested
here, they believed the police had spotted
them fora crime committed by them in
Canada. and they put up this confession
and Robertson's alleged attempt at III
eide in order to divert suspicion Hiding
says be can prove that be did not kill the
woman, because he wss in prison in
Stockholm at the time. Meantime
Robertson has made written confession
stating that Hiding smothered the
woman with . pillow, while he (Robett-
7 SOM stood outside IS wstch.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22
The "Jeanaetse" Survivors

New York, 2l.-The Tribune says ar
rapgement Is being perfected by Chief
Engineer George Sewell and Charles b.
LoriDg, Of the United States navy, for q
reception to Chief Engineer George w.
Melville, Of the i'll fated Arctic exploring
steamer Jeanette, who is expected to
arrive in New York in about three weeks.
Commodore Upshers, commandsnt OF
the Brooklyn navy yard, viii give per
mission to the reception committee to
the use of navy yard tugs to meet
Engineer Melville ant Norris and Min
derman, the two seaman who accompany
him. A large number ofof6cers of both
the line and staff Of the navy will &C.
company the reception committee down
to the bay, and will escort the Jeanette
survivors 10 the Fifth Avenue Hotel,
where public reception will take place.
Naval officers stationed ct Washington
are making arrangements to give the
engineer 8 reception upon his arrival
there. Secretary Chandler will not ap-
point committee of enquiry on the loss
Of the JeGHnet5e ss'provided by an act of
Congress, until Engineer Melville ar
rives home.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22
TELEGRAPHIC
Some Rain.

St. Louis, 2l.-Dallas special: One o.
the heaviest rains ever known, continu-
ing three days anu nights Without inter
mission, stopped falling in Wet Texas
last night. Some places where tradition
says it never rains, have the appearance
of Il sea. The rainfall is estimated at six
inches. The flooded section begins near
Abilene, and extends west for nearly
three hundred miles, including the coun-
try finn Brsmz to Pecos Rivers.
Miles of track OF the Texas and Pacific
lioad have been damaged, aud In seVera
places serious WashOuts have occurred.
Four miles OF track west of Abilene
have been washed away, aud
trains cannot cross. Transfers have
10 be made Great drifts of dead prairie
dogs are piled in rubbish. Tn usaud.
of them have been drowned and
thousands more we're seen struggling 10
wafer. Ga these plains waters from such
foods f0W southwark, and the only chan
nels to carry them away are the Brazos,
and the Colorado QQnehos, and the
Pe.o3 River and heir small tributaries
Consequently, 1t will be several days De-
fore the lands become dry again. ] he
great wash referred to was the work Of =
wsler spout between Abilene and
Sweetwater. A similar WAshout is said
to have occurred near Vsn Horn, nearly
800 miles west of Dallas, and another
spout is reported to have struck and sefi-
ously damaged the Southern Pacific track
ia southeastern Arizona. 1t will take
several days to repair the Texas Pacific
track. 1t is feared great lose Of life and
stock has occurred in the remote and
sparsely settled country to the north and
north west of the Texas and Pacific.
Parties in to-day from the flooded dis
trict along the line of the road, say it,
situation is simply ndescribsb BILE. Hun
dreds Of lsborers have been put to work
repairing toe track, and are working
night and day.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22
A Circus fer q Circus,

Cairo, Illinois. 20.-Coup's circus left
here this morning IN two sections; when
about fifty miles north of this city the en-
CINE Of the second section ran into pas.
sepger coach on the rear of the first
train, completely demoiishing the coach.
killing three drivers and wounding about
twenty-five or thirty others. They were
going down grade, the first section hesyi.
" loaded, the second section rather light.
The second train Ess running fast at the
time of the accident. The stock and csrq
ahead Of the coach in the first section ans
in rear of the engine in the second Sec
ton escaped unhurt. Relief trains with
physicians, ETC., were sent to the scene OF
the wreck st once.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22
A Chicago Mill.

Chicago. 20.-At daylight, this NON.
ing, in the presence of large crowd Of
roughs, who had assembled back of a
large lumber yard, st the mouth Of the
river, Charles Hart and George, alas
"Plug' Martin, fought a prizs febt for
$500 8 side. The pugilists are a connie
Of local middle weights Of considersbie
science. The fight lasted ten rounds and
forty-fve minutes. Hart won The fiTst
kuock-down, first blood and The fcbt
Martin wss badly punished.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-08-22
CONSTIPATION,

TUFTS PILLS are especially adapted to
such cases, one dose effects such a change
of feeling as to astonish the sufferer.
They Increase the appetite. and cause the
body TO Take ON Flesh. thus the system is
nOuriahe<i, and by their Tonic Action on the
Digestive organs Regular stools are pro-
duced. Price Is cents. IS Murray St, n. Y,
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1882-02-23

now before Congress was put 10 him,
decided that tho railroads retained
their claim to tho ccded lands even after
they had failed to fulAll tho express
stipulations they had made with Con.
gress.
No wonder, thsn, tho railroad corpor.
atoms we're careless. The experience Of
the past had taught them that their will
was law at Washington. II Ii even now
very doubtful II they would have any
trouble in retaining their stolen lands II
II were not that Jay Gould, who desires
to cripple tho Northern Pacific, thinks
that tho rendiest way 70 do 20 ID TO have
Congress take from II tho lands II has
long since forfeited. II IL ! Illuminating
confession to have 10 make, hut tho
truth is That tho will Of jay Gould has
had more to do with this attempt nj
compelling tho railroads 10 make resti-
tuition than any desire on tho pnrt of
our national Legislators TO sec great
public wrong rcmedied.
But the discussion that ID suro 70
spring up about these 227, 900, 600 Of for
feited acres il bound TO open the eycs III
the American people to the gigantic
stealing Of the public lands TINT has
been going on for the Last twenty years
and more. Tho other millions Of acres
held by the railroads arr Just ~ much
stolen property ~ are these 90, 900. 900
acres We have been speaking Of, and the
time will surely come when the Amer
lean people will demand that there shall
be restitution Of all these stolen
lands.
In the meantime the 227, 600. 600 acres
that the railroads have no legal claim 70
furnish : text from which 10 preach
about the danger Of land monopoly 70.
enncting on this side 81 the Atlantic al
the horrors IL has inflicted upon the peo-
pie OF Ireland. Irish World.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1882-02-23

"And II" said she. "You have not
forgotten the steps"
Very lucky II was that Monsieur 10
Marquis did not enter for several mo-
ments, or the lurking distrust which he,
- diplomatist, felt might have been
considerably strengthened.
A week later tho marriage Of the VI.
comte and Mademoiselle do 10 Penthiere
formed the most fashionable item in the
Morning Post. And as people conned
tho description Of the dresses and tho
presents, they expressed their pity for
tho two victims Of French marriage GUS
toms.
But not even yet has anything been
known TO have happened to them out Of
the common-not even yet; for these
things happened IN the most brilliant
days Of Louis Napoleon.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1882-02-23

S72sis:. ~ e: :: !; t s:s ;,o; ~ 40 o.
lkal
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1882-02-23

THE Carrolton MOI Journal sAys:
The girl who saves all her kisses for her
husband, mud risks final rupture with
her sweetheart rather than compromise
her stand for prudence, will bc tho wife
whose sweetness will not grow stale with
her husband and whose honeymoon will
never end. Respect. even with the i'm.
pulsivc lover, will grow stronger with
woman's barrier against unwArrnnted IA
milinrty. Tho young man who can't
put mp with his sweetheart's resolution
to he absolute mistressof her prudence ID
unworthy of her countcnancc, and the
sooner she gives him tho grand bounce
the faster will abe risc In tho eyes II her
own and all sensible peoples respect.