Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-06-14
SPICE AND ALLSPiCE,

/
meat, and proper.
SOMETIMES stock men catch a burn
from the branding.
A CORN dodger-A man who avoids
wearing tight boots.
The gold miner gets his beer by quartz.
NeoO Orleans Picayune.
MoTTo of Washington politicians
9 Ii you wish thing preserved put it in
the bureau"
A FASHION note says there is tenden-
cy to drop oYerskirts. This is appalling.
Boston Star.
SENSIBLE to the last, the dying cobble1
folded his hands and rnurmured: "It's
awl up! I'm pegging outl"
NoNPAREn looks bigger than plea
when you see your name in the reports
of police court. -MoTristown Clipper.
"WHAT is so rare as day in June -
for example the Both, for Guiteau,
felicitously paraphrases the Buffalo Ex-
press.
HAVING in his possession six Goldfish
balls brought about the arrest of Rus
sian cook. The police took them for
bombs.
LENTULUs, the Augur, is said to have
been worth over $16, 900, 900. This augur
must have struck oil.-BoStOn Conn.,
Bulletin.
A PHYSICIAN says alcohol has killed
more people than yellow fever. Well,
doctor, more people have taken it.-Bos-
ton Post.
"WHo shall decide when doctors dis
agree? ?" We don't know who should,
1I1& I, L. L
ally does.-Puck.
APoTHECARY: "You want this pre-
scription filed, I understand ?" Patrick;
|'Not bit av it, SURF! It's the bottle
wud have filed
AN exchange has an article headed,
"Get Hold of a Boys Heart" Bah I
The place to get hold of boy is the
scruf Of the neck.-Bosto7a Post.
Down in Texas, when they want to
express loathing for man they say he's
mean enough to hand pint bottle filled
with water to friend on dark night
quiz.
A MAN has invented a chair that can
be adjusted to eight hundred different
positions. 1t doesn't strike the one that
is comparable to a man with boil,
though.
SPORTING: Hibarnian CATER attentive
ly surveying tourists BICYCLE s'AErah,
now, an sure that little wheel will niver
kape up with the big wan, at all, at all p
London Fun.
A SOFT answer" Ny DEAR" said
husband to his wife, "what kind of a
stone do you think they will give me
when [ am gomez" She answered coolly,
" Birthstone, john"
A PHILADELPHIA youth who is learn
ing to play the cornet cannot understand
why people who shoot at cats should be
SO careless. Half dozen stray bullets
have already come through his window.
eyes, sir" said Brown, 'tif there is
one thing more than another that am
proud Of, it is that, that always keep
my word" every true" replied Fogg;
"but did you ever know anybody who
would take it :? I"
A RECENT competent authority says
chicken ought to be boiled one hour for
each year of it's life. This accounts for
the landlady getting up before daylight
when she has chickens for dinner.-NeaO
Haven Register.
FRED DAPPER Ito big friend who does
not dance much, and has been leaning
against light French paper all the ev-
ening)-" Hello, Jack! What is all this
white stuff on your shoulders and ell
bow?" Jack, (rather manfully)-"I
don't know, unless it's wall -four"
THE individual who vegetables should
wear pea jacket.-Bosto9a Commercial
Bulletin. Then the Individual who is
out on the fly ought probably to wear
swallow tailed coat.-N Y. Commercial
Advertiser. And the grocer who gives
short weight should wear cut-a-weigh.
Folio.
SNoDKNs, IS (who has not been to
church during the year, is favored with
| call, as he supposes, from one of his
creditors)- % No, sir; you'll have to wait,
sir. I can't do anything for you to-day"
Visitor" Why Mr.. Snodkins, don't
you know me? I am MIR. Brown, Jour
pastor. "-HGrvGrd Lanopoon.
Browns eye BACKED: They were dis
cussing religious questions. Said Brown:
81 tell you that if the other animals do
not exist after death, neither does man.
There is no difference between man and
a beast" IF anybody could convince
me of that it would be you, Brown" re-
Piled Deacon Jones, demurely.-Bostoe
Transcript.
ScENE-A ward in Scotch infrmary.
Lady visitor: Are they kind to you
here?" Patient (who is recovering from
his illness and is very hungry: "Na-
I never get hauf me full" Lady visitor:
Indeed. Gould you eat an egg?"
Patient: "Eat an egg! Could a. eat
twa? Mem, could eat the chap that
laid them!"
A CERTAIN lawyer who was also Sun
day school teacher, was endeavoring to
inculcate into his pupils minds the ne
cessity of a firm belief in things spiritual
when one of the class, with open-eyed as
tonishment, exclaimed: "Why, M.
Brown, I heard you tell witness in
court the other day that you didn't care
what he believed. All you cared about
was what he knew. boston Trans
Sa0f