davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
"BeIlIns" The Professors.

An illustration Of the aptness
of the average Yankee for managing
men occurred many years ago OF Andover
Theological seminary, when tho venerable
DIR. Woods and DR.. Moses Stuart were pro-
fessors:
It occurred to the students that the pray
ers Of those distinguished professors at the
seminary devotions were longer than WAS
necessary, and how to remedy the difficulty
was subject of much thouoht and CONVEX.
sation.
No one was willing "to bell" either of the
old professors. At length g. committee of
the students was appointed to confer with
them.
The committee divided itself into halves,
and at the same hour one part went to DR..
Woods, told him of the delicacy which the
students felt about addressing Prof. Stuart
on the matter of his long prayers at the
chapel, and implored the mediation of DR..
Woods with the professor. to induce him
to shorten his petitions.
The rest Of the committee also conferred
with DR.. Stuart to the same effect with re-
gard to the prayers of Or. Woods, and be.
sought his intercession with the venerable
professor of theology to abbreviate his
chapel supplieations.
On the departure of the committees. each
professor instantly seized his hat and cane
and started for the house of his associate.
They met midway. near the old Mansion
House Prof. Stuart. his eye dancing with
fun, at once hailed the good doctor With tue
startling information that the students
tho.ght his prayers were too long.
And Immediately DR.. Woods grayely
quenched the sparkling light in the He
brew professors face by telling him that the
students held the same views in regard to
his petitions.
The two professors continued their walk
and meditations. Both came to the con.
clusion that each Of the offenders had been
taken in bis own net, and subsequently, the
chapel prayers were shortened. or else en-.
tirely relegated to the students.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Scientific Sclntelations.

One OF the most ingenious theories con-
corning the original source ard formation
OF coal oil says Les Mondes, is that which
has recently been put forth, namely, that
on the first formation Of the earth, vast res.
ervoirs OF inorganic iron and carbon existed
IN the interior Of the globe, and these were
reached by the water condensing on the
newly formed lano, percolating beneath It's
surface. The heat decomposed the water
into It's component parts, Oxygen and hy-
drogen, the first forming, with the iron, OK
lde OF iron, the latter, with the carbon,
petroleum and other hydrocarbons-an
these in unlimited quantities.
The filing Of porous hard wood IL
now accomplished, very perfectly, in the
Following ingenius manner: Boiled oil and
cornstarch are stirred into very thick
paste, and little japan reduced with tur.
pentine added. For light ash, no colorinp
is employed; for walnut, burnt amber and
slight amount of Venetian red; for dark
ASH and chestnut, little raw sienna: for
bay wood, burnt sienna. In no ease is
more color used than ia necessary to over.
come the white appearance Of the starch,
unless 1t 10 desired to stain the wood. The
drying requires some forty. eight hours. or
until 1t 10 In condition to rub down with
NO. sand paper, without much cumming
up; for an extra finish, the same ma
terials are used for again filling, but with
less oil.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
ESCaDe0.

George I. of England was monarch of
whom history has very little good to tell
and the same is too true of all the four
English Georges. What small relief the
following incident Of character may seem to
afford is probably due more to the Kings
lazipess and weakness than to any magma
nimity. Here is the story as told by the
steward of the Duchess Of Munster, who
CHANGED to be present on the occasion.
The Eral of Nithsdale, a po werful and in
fiuential nobleman, was confined in the
tower, under sentence OF death for high
treason. On the night preceding the day
appointed for his execution, he contrived,
through the assistance of friends, to make
his escape. The deputy lieutenant of the
tower, as soon as the fact was known, hest
ened away to the palace Of st. James, to sc-
quaint the king with 1t, and to vindicate
himself as having been in no way remiss in
his duty. The king was at the time en-.
gagged with party of lords and ladies Of his
court, and fun and jollity ruled the hour.
Suddenly the officer from the tower burst
in upon them, wild-eyed and out of breath.
"Vell! veil! Vat ish dat now? Ish dee
ceety on fire, or ish dere new insurrec-
tom"
"Ahl Sire-ths earl of Nithsaale has
made his escape from the tower and We
know not whittier he is gone! Indeed, your
majestyl have not
fish dat all? Veil, should have eshcaped,
too, if had been locked up in dat blace!"
And then he added, in lower tone,
with hand at the side of his mouth, as though
to shut away his words from the general ear,
Look you, Mr.. Lieutenant, you needn't
be too diligent in searching for him; fol
it's an ugly peezness to hat on my hands!
Then the king went on with his game
while the Earl Of Nithsdale made good his
eEcape out of the kingdom.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Eruirs u,..i VaupIatlt.A


Among scientific men VINO have made ion3ey
ity study, it ID almost unanimously agreed
that u fruit and vegetable diet ia conducive to
long life and perfect health. And it is among
the vegetable kingdom that We find our princi
pal means of restoring health to the invalid
aud strength 10 the weak. La o!den times,
when centenarians were common, and men Of
80 years of age wers considered youthful, herb
doct tors were the only physicians. DE-. Guy
sotts Yellow Deck ald SIrsaparilia, with the e2
ception OF one ing edient, and that Ii Iron, L
strictly vegetable compound, and is no. ii ia
rious TO the most delicate invalid. lie effect
on the general system liz most wonderful Ii
gives real strength to every par
OF the body and its soothing ef-
feet in queting the brain aud nervous system,
s most remarkable It's principal ingredient:
are Yellow Dock, SsrsapariIla. Juniper, Iron,
Buchu, Celery, and Cslisaya bark. Whore the
disease is of an exhaustive nature, il quickly
checks all decay. III casas of dyspepsia 1t does
not act as u severe cathariic, but gives real
strength to the digestive organs, and thus per
manently cures this tiistres ;ftll disease.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Twenty Years a Sufferer.

R. V. PIERCE, NJ. D., Buffalo, N. Y.
Dear Sir:-Twenty years ago was ship
wrecked on the Atlantic Ocean, and the cold
and exposure caused large abscess to form
on each leg, which kept continually dis.
charging. After spending hundreds Of dol.
lars, with no benefit. I tried your Golden
Medical Discovery" and, now, in less than
three months after taking the first bottle, !
am thankful to say am perfectly cured,
and for the first time in ten years can put
my left heel to the ground. I lam yours,
WILLIAM RYDER, 81, Jefferson st. Buffa-
10, N. Y.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
How 70 rem 8 Good Potato.

Here is a good place to impart what is
secret to the vast majority Of people, and II
IN one worth knowing It is simply how to
tell good potato that is, as we'll as it can
be done without cooking it, for sometimes
even experts are deceived. Take q sound
potato, and paying no attention to its out
ward appearance, devide it in two pieces
with your knife and examine the exposed
surfaces. II there is 30 much water or
juice" that seemingly slight pressure
would cause it to fall of in drops you may
be sure 1t will be 'soggy" after it IL boiled.
These are the requisite qualities for q
good potato which must appear
when one 10 cut in two; For
color, q yellowish white. il it is a
deep yellow, the potato will not cook
well; there must be considerable amount
Of moisture, though not too much; rub the
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

two pieces together and white froth will
appear around tie edges and upon the two
surfaces; this signifies the presence Of
starch, and the more starch, and conse.
quently froth, the better the potato. while
the less there ia the poorer it will cook.
The strength of the starchy element Gan be
tested by releasing the hold upon one piece
of the potato. and it still clings to the other,
this in itself is very good sign. These
are the experiments made by experts, and
they are ordinarily willing to buy on the
strength Of their turning out we'll, Though
as stated above. these tests are by no means
infaltible
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
A Meteor That Made Mountains TrembIe.

from th6 HSIenh independent
An enormous meteoric stone fell last
night at ten o'clock, southeast Of Fort AS
sinaboine, Montana. lighting up the sur
rounding country with the glare. The time
which elapsed between its striking the earth
and the report reaching here was nearly FIVE
minutes. The shock was like the report Of
a cannon, and the earth was shaken. Care
full search to-day for distance of several
miks from the post reveals nothing. TAX
ing INTO consideration the fact that sound
travels one thousand one hundred and
twenty feet in second, it ia estimated that
the meteorite must have fallen fully fifty
miles distant from Assinaboine. The shock
frightened the people at Fort Benton and
at Coal Banks
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
1.-THE Doctor Told Me

1.-THE Doctor Told Me
to take blue pill, but didn't for had already
been poisoned twice by mercury. The druggist
told me try Kidney Wort, and did 1t was just
the thing for my biiousne aud consultation,
and now am as well IS ever" Torpid kidneys
and liver is the trouble, for Which Kidney
Wort always proves to be the beat remedy
kEown-Hartford Courant
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
---------zSs--S -
1 Mistake Nav tIn Fatal

You are not consumptive, but if You Get a
cough alone you are in danger of the worst
disease on earth. PiEo's Cure will cure con
sumption, but much easier and quicker wien
in the early stage and only cough. Sold by
druggists at q sc and 81 90
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
- O.
On Thirty DAYS Trial.

The Voltaic Bell Co., Marshall, Nieh., will
send their Electric Voltaic Belts and other Eiec
trio appliances Oh trial for thirty dsys TO any
person afflicted witt Nervous Debility, L.ost
Vitality, and kindred troubles, guaranteeing
complete restoration Of 7igor and manhood
Address as above without delay.
P S-No risk il incurred. as thirty dayk
tria! ia allowed.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

For the Complete Oure OF Cough, pains in
the chest, difficulty of breathing. and ali other
lung diseases which tend TO Consumption, you
will find Allen Lung Bal5am most valuable
remedy Cures have been made, which have
astonished every one who witness its effects.
Sold by all Medicine Dealers
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Profit. $1,000.

To sum it up, six long years of bedrid-
den sickness, costing 5000 per year, total
81, 20O--all of this expense was stopped by
three bottles Of Hop Bitters, taken by my
wife. She has done her own housework
for year since, without the loss Of D day,
and ! want everybody to know it, for their
benefit. IN e. Farmer.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Thousands of women bless the day on
which DR.. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription
was made known to them. In all those de.
rangements causing backache, dragging.
down sensations, nervous and general debil.
ity, it is sovereign remedy. Its SOOTHING
and healing properties render it Of the ut.
most value to ladies suffering from Intern.
al fever" congestion, inflammation, or Ill
ceration. By druggists.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
LYDIA e PaMEHkM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
Is 6 Positive Cure


for oil those Fa;iit d CJnpiaints a:,d ehkheSAeS
socoumon o cur best female population
Ii will cure entirely the worst form or fe1ihe Sosl'
retnts all oyatLa Troubles Inflammation and t!2eFa
ton Falling md bslluce Inents, and tho cU-lsv'ueht
spiaal Weailess and Is particularly adapted 10 the
Change of Life.
II will dissolve snd exFel tumoFs from the uterus In
an carly stage of development This tendency to can
cerous Lcnat IS there is checeG ely by its USE
1t removes fantuess Gtulency, Getroysali craving
for stiinuants and relieves weakness Of the stomach
Il cures Bloatir Headaches, Nervous frostratioa,
General I.bty, sIeepessness, Depression aud lndi-
geston.
That feeling OF bearing down, causing pain weight
and backsche is always permanently cured by lis uSs
twill at all times and under all circumstances act In
harmony with TIE laws that govern the teIaie system
For the cure OF kidney Complaints CT either EEK this
Compound Is unsurpassed.
LYDIA E PINEHAM'S VEGETABLE CON-
POUNDS prepared ut 2SS and 2s5 Western Avenue,
LYNN Mass Price 81 Six bottlesfor S. Sent by mail
In the form Of pills also In the form of lozenRss On
receipt CT price 81 per box for either Mrs ttnkhsn
freely answers all letters Of inquiry Send Tor panph-
let Address So above As1ti0a this PAPER
70 family should be without LYDIA L. PlAhaAAS
liver PILLS They cure coustinstion, bihousRsss
and to.pidity Of the liver. % cents Per box-
RE- Seid by all Druggists. ia
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Pure Cod Liver Oil made from selected iiyers
on the sea shore, by Casweli, Hazard & Co,
N. Y. tits absolutely pure and sweet. Patients
who have once taken it prefer it to all others.
Physicians have decided it superior to any OF
the oile in market
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

The original Little Liver Pills" are DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets, and
are extensively initiated. They cure sick
and bilious headache. Private government
stamp with DR.. Pierce's signature and por-
trait mark the genuine. By druggists.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Or do You fear that you have? Then write TO
Dr., F. l. Pond Aurora, Illinois. He does cure
cancers = certainty as the sun shines. You will
be furnished with proof beyond ali doubt if
Won but aeKit
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Are you bald? CARBOLINE, 3 ceodoi lied ex-
tract of petroleum. the only cure for badness,
has been improved. go hist it il now the most
delightful dressing iltEe world. The only real
natural hsir restorer ever produced.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Let the poor sufferers from female complaints
take courage and rejoice that palpless remedy
has been found. We refer to Lydia +. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound tis prepared at
233 Western Avenue, Lynn, Mass. Send to
Mrs Pinkham for pamphlets.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

William Matteson, an Abbeyille. 8. c.,
colored farmer, who hadn't dollar when
emancipated, paid Sc, 500 in cash for a farm
be bought ct auction the other day.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Perhaps Gen. Grant would do well to
follow Jay Gould's example aud show np
his stocks. There are many minors that
he has bsen losing money.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

The city Of Boston contains Al 1926 dwell
ing houses valued at $4, 013, 900. There
are, besides, 70 hotels and 147 family no.
tells in the city.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

The Prince and Princess of Wales re-
Gently celebrated, ON the 10th inst. the
nineteenth anniversary of their Wedding
6ay
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
John Wesley, the great Methodist preach


Mr. Samuel Dedrol, OF Loyeand o., writes:
81 think ! have cause to be glad. All cted for
years with painful kidney troubles add chronic
dyspepsia, was induced 10 give DIR. GnysotPr
Yellow Dock and Sarsaparl!ls trial. The very
first dose seemed to reach the right spot.
don't know what back-ache or sour stomach
now y
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Captain OtisW hitcomb Of East Swan.
zey, N. H.. whose prototype on the dra-
matte stage has made his name familiar, il
dangerously i'll.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Yon feel weak and langril, no energy, no
ambition to do anything DR. Hal lays Blood
Purifier is the remedy for you. For sale by all
WesteTn drugpi ats
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Pine Island, Mimi june Is, 1881.

j. P. Allen, st Paul
The BIZ CAGES of Aliens Iron Tonic Bitters
which / ordered May Sd, arrived in sdue time
and are selling as usual on their merits.
w. W JFWEJL Druggist
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

"Great Blood Tonic, - for the cure Of all blood
diseases-'Dr. LiDdsey's B,ood Ssarcher."
Hss no eoual
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

The queens visit to Mentone has caused
an unprecedented influx of English and
American visitors into that delightful wa
terine- place.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

''Rough on Rats. Clears out rats, mice, flies.
reaches bed bugs, ANTS, vermin, chipnunks. I SC
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
y WILBOR'S COMPOUND OF ~
PURE COD LIVER
\ OIL AND LIME.

To One and An.-Are you suffering from .
Cough. Cold. Asthma. Bronchitis any of the yari-
Gus pulmonary troub eS that often end in Con-
sumption?' If So. use "WLBoR's PURE Cop-LIvRR
Oh. AND LIME" safe and sure remedy. This is no
Quack preparation. but is prescribed by the medical
faculty Manufactured only by A. B. WILBoR. Chem.
list. Boston. Sold by all druggists. Wholesale by
Noyes Bros. Cutler, st. Paul; Lyman Bros, Mime
apoIs.
VNHE OLDEST MEDICINE IN THE WORLD 10
L probably DR.. ISAAC TIIoadPSoN'S CELEBRATED
EYE WATER. This article is carefully prepared
physicians prescription and has been In constant
use for nearly q century, and notwithstanding the
many other preparations that have been introduced
into the market the sale of this article 10 constantly
increasing. II the directions are followed Il
never fall. We particularly invite the attention
physicians to its merits.
JOHN L THOMPSON, SONS q CO.,
Trov. n. Y,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

A little girl In New York asked: Ma, if
bear should swallow me would he 60 to
heaven, too?"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

And pray dat de Lord tskeme, till tried
"Seller's Cough Syrup" an ls nebbsr ccughed
sinca HoW's dat for high boss?
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

New York bulls point with pride 10 the
fact that two pawnbrokers III that city have
fai1a1
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Dou'J Die I'm the Hons.


Ask druggist for ''R ,ugi on Rats" 1t clears
ont rats, n ice, bed bugs, reaches, vermin, flies,
ants, insects. l5c per box.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

DR.. Tanner, the once we'll known "fas-
ter, is living in Buffalo, and occasionally
delivers lectures On the use Of alcohol.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

The great distinguishing feature OF Readings
Rnssia SalYeis its pnMar to reduce inflammation.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

"Buchupaiba" Quick, complete cure, all an
noying Kidney and Urinary Diseases. 81.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Don't Die in the house Trough on Rats.
Clears out rats mice flies reaches be1bngs. sc.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

Skinny Men. "Well's Health Remover" restores
health and .vigor, curesD yspepsis, Impotence 81.
Trr fha nayr brand Snrinr tahacca
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06

William T. Smith, M. D., son of the late
President Smith. has been appointed lee
turer on anatomy and physiology in the
nartmoTth Medical College,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
e DIAM oND
new RICH BLOOD1

PARSONS PuRGATIYE PILLS s = i \ :
Blood and will completely change the blood In ths
entire system in thIee n4OntAs AEy person VINO ~
take one pill each night from one 10 twelve we-ks
possible Sold everywhere, or sent by mail Cor let
Ter stamps. ]. S. johnson Co. Boston. Mass for
~ Ran lie
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
Health is Wealth!

DR.. Z. G. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREATMENT
aspecfc for Hysteria, Dizziness Commissions Nervous
Headache. Mental Depression Loss or Memory, Sperm
atorrhaa. Impotency. Involuntary Emissions Prema
ture Old Age. caused by overexertion. self abuse
uverindulgence, which leads to misery, decay and
death One box will cure recent cases Each box
contains one months treatment One dollar box or
six boxes for five dollars; sent by mail prepaid
ceipt price We guarantee six boxes to any
With each order received by us for six boxes accom-
panied with five dollars we will send the purchaser
our written guarantee TO return the money if the treat
ment does not effect cure. Guarantees issued by
LAMBIE 4 CO.. Druggists Third street, corner Waba
sha st. Paul. Mimi. Orders by mail will receive
prompt attention.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-04-06
A GOOD FAMILY REMEDY
STRICTLY PURE.
Harmless to the Most Delicate.
By Its faithful use Consumption has been Cured
when other Remedies and Physicians have
failed to effect cure.

JEREMIAH WRIGHT. OF Marion County. W. Va,
writes us that his wife had PULMONARY CoNsUNiP-
FIoN and was pronounced INCURABLE by their
physician, when the use of Aliens Lung Basam
ENTIRELY CURED HER. He writes that he and his
neighbors think it the best medicine in the world.
DR.. MEREDITH, Dentist, Of Cincinnati, was
and in,Suced by his friends to try Aliens Lung
Balsam AFTER the formula was shown him. We
have his letter that it at cured his cough and
that he was able to resume his practice.
VIM. A. GRAHAM d. Co., Wholesale Druggists,
GAINESVILLE. Ohio, writes us Of the cure of Matthias
freeman, a well-known citizen. who had been
afflicted with BRONCHITIS in its worst form for
twelve years. The Lung Balsam cured him, as it
has many others of BRONCHITIS.