The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-07-12
HgMORS OF THE DAY.

eyes, I've got horrid cold," said
Mrs. JenlSinson. "lve dosed and dosed
and l don't get one bit better. Pom
my word 1 believe I've taken no less
than thirty-nine articles, and begin to
feel like an Episcopalian."
They were discussing religious ques-
tons. Said Brown, 81 tell you that il
the other animals do not exist after
death, neither does man. There is no
difference between man and beast" /" "H
anybody could convince me OF that it
would be you, Brown" replied Deacon
Jones, demurely.
"SHE's a dear, good GIRL" said st.
Louis young man in reference to q
Chicago fair one; 81 assure you.
father, she is all soul" "Yes," replied
his stern parent, the old prejuduce
against the Garden City embittering
his words 81 saw her footprints in
the sand by the lakeside. You are right;
she is all SOLE"
A BIBULoUs parson was introduced to
lady who had been represented to him
as quite a talented artist. He greeted
her by saying 81 understand madam,
that you paint?" She started, blushed
deeply, and recovering herself after a
few seconds, said, with as much acidity
Of tone and style as she could command:
"Well, if do paint, i don't make any
mistake and put it on my nose"
A GOOD old lady, speaking in prayer
meeting and giving expression to the Joy
and confidence she felt, said: 81 feel as
if was ready, this minute, to fall into
the arms of Beelzebub" abraham
You mean Abraham p hastily corrected
n brother sitting near. "Well, Abra-
ham, them" was the response; ; cit don't
make any difference. They're both good
men,"
"No, MY daughter, said New Haven
matron, 81 cannot consent to your longer
keeping company with young Iaykins.
He had the insurance to call me dow
ageress, right to my face, the other
evening"" Why, ma, that isn't anything
bad at all. at is lucky for the
young man that it is not. Had
he assumed to insulate me would have
pitched him over the baningsters." "Oh,
dear, ma, | wish you wouldn't mix met
aphors So" and both women rushed for
the dictionary to substantiate their Ian
guago.
"TM SHAVING myself most Of the
time now," said the young man proudly,
as he adjusted his head to the back
of the chair. The barber gazed thought
fully at the cash in the left cheek, noted
: the irregular Maltese cross in the chin,
! observed the finely executed outline
map Of the He'll Gate excavations on
the left side, hovered over the piece OF
ear that was held in place with court
plaster, and pityingly scanned the prize
collection OF pimples and blotches which
: ornamented the neck. eyes, l notice
: you are" he said musingly, as he softly
0 strapped his razor.
OK MONDAY of last week Fogg handed
letter to the Office boy, telling him Il
drop it into the mail. This was early il
the morning. In passing the boy
M desk in the afternoon Fogg saw tn
~ ~. letter. 81 say, Johnny" said he, "an,,
il time this week will do for that letter, yo'
"a =, know" Next day Fogg saw the lette
y >, still lying on the boys desk. Fierce h
- broke forth. He wanted to know wha
NJ in the substantive that adjective lette
~ ~ was doing there. Why in the snbstaI
80 80 tive it hadn't been mailed? 81 didn
|, ~ know you was in hurry about it, SAT-
i tho boy, "you told me any time thi
a. week would do.