The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-15
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
yay works-Beehives.

A water spout-A temperance Grafton.
Best throw with dice--Throw them away.
Abs,ter half--Than counterfeit is goot
sKN dollar
A New Jersey cigar maker boasts The discovery
Mai the leaf Of the tobacco plan: makes goot
cigar.
A company OF settlers, in naming their new
apwn, called it Dictionary, because, as they said
a4hals the only place where peace, prosperity
and happiness are always found"
an The new arithmetic one reads: "ln one lo
ghere are four calves, and in another two young
men with their hair banged. How many calves
In My
The cause of the cyclone has been ascertained
On. in the tornado. tossed region there is band
surnposed of young ladies who are learning tc
play the eornet.
"The Unseen Hand" is the title ola new book
Probably the other man didn't have anything
Better than Il pair OF trays and didn't care to
call
Judge Tourgee says the live man is always to
DC found in front. In funeral professions down
acre IN Texas we have noticed that the remains
Along behind.-7,IaS SUtings.
The reporter OF New York paper went to see
che panorama of "Buayans Pilgrims Progress"
The man at the door refused to admit him with.
On, paying, and the reporter said: "Send Mr..
Bnnyan out here; he will let me in"
The Polyqlar Sciencc Monthiy leads of with an
article on plant cells, which is no doubt, very
,srndite, but the worst plant cell We know Of is
when mulleins are dealt in as pure Havana leaf.
---JtiNu'Yh 1deGrdph.
Copy OF a notice on the beach at fashionable
French Watering place: "ln the case Of ladies in
danger OF drowning they should be seized by the
eiothing, and not by the hair, which generally
comes off,
Laws and customs have not changed much in
LID years after all. In 1865 the English Parlia
Gae1t forbade the celebrating Of marriages in
America without stamps Now the laws of so.
Gieiy as eiiectually prevent It,
Don Cameron says he will deny nothing his
political enemies say Of him. All right Then
sc accuse him with being the party who sits on
sht Lest and matches out potato bugs. Quincy
Trrnn.
Billy Patterson, while fooling with leopards at
= circus in New Haven, had his nose bit off by
Sne OF the pestercd ANIMALS. Mr.. Patterson is
given to misfortune. lie will be remembered as
Abe gentleman who, few years ago, was struck
with brick.
'.beaTes have their time to fall"
And likewise so have |;
The reasons too the same
Il comes OF getting dry.
hut here's the difference 'Jwixt leaves and me,
Afals mere harder and more frequentlee.
The Scranton PENN Republican relates that as
AWikesbsrre man took his seat in the BARRIERS
xhsir, he asked the barber # he had the same ra.
ror hc had used two days before. Being answer
I'D aiIirmatyely, the patient nan said; "Then
give me chloroform."
Two lovers sat
Beneath a tree,
The one was fat
The other free
From fat
Ntn 0es you ten to one you cant see the
yont In the above. - Marshall (Tzas) Progress
DO you mean the point that should be at the last
end o. tho third line?Er. Perhaps the fat tel.
low is sitting on it.
will probably be news to most people that
y1nce Bismarck occasionally blossoms into DO
cary. Count Won Moltkc having the other day
inscribed In lady's album the sentiment,
"Schen vergeht
Wahrheit besteht,"
Ehe Yarzin Sphinx wrote underneath it.
"lcn CLAUDE, dasz in jener Welt,
Die Wahrheit stets den Sicg behaelt
poch init der Luege diescs LebeDs
kampft uuscr Marschal selost vergcbensm
Which freely anglIcsed would be,
Semblance vanishes.
Truth endures.
| believe, III yonder world
That truth indeed the victory holds,
But with tho lies 81 this poor life
Our marshal wages fruitcss strife.
Fashion Note: y Milwaukee lady who was
wrparing bathing suits for a trip East for the
summer wrote to an Eastern fashion paper to
know what the style Of bathing suits would be
10, children, say from five TO six years old She
received reply tina, this year the bathing suits
were very SIMPLE, consisting OF wad Of cotton
n each ear. The lady will add TO this suit red
ghrn string around her boys neck and let him
90 loose.
"some men," says an eminent asatomist,
'Asye three haHd5-right hand, left hand aud
Htile behind hand" We have often observed
nen with more hands than this Some have a
7ght hand, left hand, little behind hand, a
Anle before hand, an upper hand, an under hand,
81 empty hand, n full hand -four aces), bold,
Dad hand, and hand with heart in it that
promises "tO stick by him until death do us
parl," making Il grand total Of ten What
magnificent old curiosity this IT, TO be sure.
There's but one set OF hands that can beat it,
shey belong to the New Jersey bluk cashier
.Bbomington Eye.
The Hartford Times gives the following Illus
SJEton OF the force Of habit
Only the other day Hartford barber, who
sss called upon 10 shave the face of dead man.
si'er applying the lather and Shaping the blade
ID his razor on the palm OF bis hand 10 the most
approved fashion, began his work but moment
later, unable to forget his shop habits, halted
bowed low over the inanimatc form and in the
cuieet tones which the knights Of the strap
KNOW so well how TO employ, asked: docs the