Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-03-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

| De Justly Kept.
THOSE are the most honorable who
ale the most useful. -
ADVERSELY borrows its sharrest sting
from our impatience.
On THE day of victory no WEAKNESS
is felt--Arabic PrOUerb.
MEN, like bullets, go farthest when
they are smoothest. Richter.
Love is a severe critic lJate can
pardon more than love.-Tho,
Miss MARIE MARCH tool
premium for cooking at a.
If young man is in doubt as ~ 49,
best month to marry, we suggest March.
| BEWARE In case OF a fire at the
| Opera House, the woman with the big
hat will find it jammed down over her
eyes, and she will never get out alive.
Selah.-Euansvilte Argus.
NINE per cent. of Yale graduates be-
| come clergymen. Probably this is
caused by remorse for the crimes which
they committed when they were on the
football team. Columbia Spectator
SCIENTIST says: every person
carries enough phosphorus in his body
to make 1000 ordinary matches" All
that girls who desire to become first
class matches have to do is to chew
wood.
GA MAN who detected piece of bark
in his sausage visited the butchers shs,s-
to know what had become of the rest OF
the dog" The butcher was so affected
that he could give him only part OF the
tale. Louisville Cou'ier-JouTnal.
| QUESTION answered: Miss Henrietta
Dewcome-In answer to your quessi-~
about unkissed kisses we maT
we are prepared to unkiss any kis
may have kissed outside of the family TO
the last five years. .--HdrUdrd Ldm1DoOn.
DECLARE, 1 don't know what shall
do, the thermometer varies So" said a
New Haven woman this morning. "One
day it's as high as forty, and the next it
| is down to nothing Mt all. / don't see
why they can't make them permanent
so we shall always know just what the
weather is.
YoUNG man, if you had one and two
thirds ton of gold coin, you wo1l
worth Just q million dollars. Eve
little piece of gold You get hold of
throw into the junk pile until you accu-
mulate that weight. You Gan then sch
it and become rich an.-Ne,S Haven
| Register.
AGRICULTURAL societies says the
Judge have learned by experience that
| cattle show without q horse race doesn't
put as much money in the treasury as
horse race without cattle show. Tfrls-
is the reason horse races given under
the auspices of agricultural societies are
called cattle shows.
A FRENcHMAN having hear>s
phrase, "I've got other fish,
very readily learned its appiIc@s,-
One evening, after escorting youn.
lady home, and being invited to walk IL
he thought of the above expression, an,
excused himself by saying, 81 tam
you-I must go cook some fish"
AN OLD man, with head as destIsus
of hair as watermelon, entered dra
store and told the clerk he wanted
bottle of hair restorer. What kind
hair restorer do you prefer ?"
reckon I'll have 10 take bottle
hair restorer. That was tie C,
my hair when was boy"
"ANYTH1NG you see me do 20
do" said Pingrey to his sou. ct
you, sir, replied the young man,
perhaps would like to do some
things you take such mighty gooc
1 shan't see you do" Pingrey
of this. aud trembles every time he
behind the cupboard door to loo,
the bottom of that tumbler.
LATENT sulphur: "Oh, yesy"
Fogg, "John and Matilda sit :"
side on the sofa, thinking of not
their own sweet selves, and 20
is a splendid match. Well, sui
it is, what then? They are
enough now, but wait till that 6
match suffers a little friction
will see fire instanter. ."-Bosto
| script.
AN out of town druggist ent
of Bostons apothecary stores an'
a clerk a simple recipe. 90
and fifty cents, said the latt
! handed the medicine over.
pretty steep?" asked the
adding. "I'm in the business
and know somewhat about tn
these ingredients" "0h th
the case" was the response;
! teen cents, please boston GU
! A LECTURER asking, on a raj
why one of the audience had p.
admission fee, and come in a.
all the wnile. ~ will tell W
the old man, with a shrewd wi
4 eve. Il was ont i'll the rain,
/ had no umbrella to keep me
ting wet, and tickets are only
/ five cents, and umbrellas are OF
[ saved seventy-five cents b
! in."
Social agonies: Scene-Mr
gomery Morris's drew'uo ~"
fore dinner. Mrs. Siduey
hostess): "Oh. yes, Blarritz
very well, but we got into aqu
some people there, dresdir
who behaved most shamef,
todd the husband, certain n
ton Allsop, means to pull Sic
whenever and wherever he
aud his horrid wife acLuall
she'll" Footman: "Mr.
'Amiiton Hallsop london
Two SIDES to it: "rhere are
to everything" said the lectur
peat it, there are two sides
;urotura a tired looking little