Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-12-29
Fun.

A considerable lassie: A little Augusta
three-year-old rebuked her mother for
alludlng to black Cat. She said it
was "coloTed" cat.
Two grand divisions: About this
time the public is divided into two
classes. One asks: "What shall I siveg'
and the other, "}Ehat shall gel?'
A long drop: For week the refrain
had been that Tightfst was sinking fast.
At last the news came that sill was
over. "Alas!" cried Fogg, s'still sink
ingw
Social equality: We do not see how
the blacks and the whites can be placed
exactly on the same footing, unless
about six inches are sawed of the feet
Of the former.
As to red hair: Red-headed student
to professor: Professor, why is it that
you never seem to recognize me on the
| street?" Professor: "Well, Mr.. Y,
the truth is am slightly color blind"
A shocking proposition answered:
PAY that SO to-day?" "Why, my
dear sir, do you expect man to take
Christmas money to pay debts? No,
sir no, sir! l still have warm
heart IN my bosom, sir 7"
Scotch Laird ito poor por-
trait painter: Eye nun ken ma
dochter's birthday IS vena near, and 1
promised her ma pictuI'. Weel, I've
Just fund ane 10 SOMEBODY else) in q
brokers' window that'll dae fine and 1
wud like ye tae put wneen flemish
touches tilt: as cheap as ye can, We
understand.
Turn about Is fais play: "Junius
dey say yume gwine run fo' jestice OBJ
| de peace, am dat fac ?" 81 did hab d
hankrin' dat away, sho' 'nough /;
what's yo' 'pinion bout de matter?"
We'll, Junius, eff turnabout's far play,
yame testified in yo' puppus, case
yume been runnin' away f'om de jes-
tlce ob de peace desc seb'al years."
Christmas all the year round: A gen.
tleman stopping with some friends In
Ireland last Christmas questioned
the oldest servant about the family
fairy" of which he had heard nothing
during his visit. The enior retainer
said, "Divil a fairy, your honor, since
the old masther died. All! thin was
| days! 1t was Christmas sill the year
round, and sphreading butther on ba-
con, end whisky galore, begorrahr'
At the head or nowhere: eyes,
boys" remarked the bullet-headed
gentleman, setting down his glass, "Bill
has been found guilty of murder in the
fust degree. There's no half way bout
Bill, and he was powerful glad whe n
he heard the verdick. If they'd put
him down second degree, he'd never
| heart and died O. grief afore a year.
But it's all right, and Bill IL die like a
gentleman. Name your pizen, tellers"
Song and psalm: A Scotch driving
party few months since met with q
serious accident in Badenoch. The
wagonette was upset and the horses
came to their knees. After a little
while, however, things were pat to
rights again, and when the horses were
reyoked again the more jovial of the
party called for song. Give us a
song, Tonalt MacTayish' The man
addressed, a well known Highland dro-
Yer, with a stern look i'll his face. re-
piled: 'Confound yer songsi Sing
psalms till ye'er cot o. danger -
A selfish view of it: Sometimes
what appears to be very wicked wish
may turn out to be entirely proper and
kind. Of certain mon who had just
died, q sweet-tempered CHRISTIAN nei Ugh
Dor said, solemnly: "John Stark is
dead, and l do hope with all my heart
he has gone towel, one of Mr.. Van
derbilt'. dashes will express the local
ity. The minister was shocked. "And
what could he have done to your" he
asked, ''that you indulge in a hope of
that kind?' "Oh," was the rely. "my
hope was based on my love for my fel-
low men," John was a queer body.
He never belonged to any organization
of any kind, but he somehow managed
to smash the whole thing in little
while, and I thought that perhaps if
he has gone to the place above men
toned there wouldn't be much of it
left by the time you and get-I beg
pardon, parson."