Stephens City star. (Stephens City, Va.) 1881-1883, 1882-10-28
Advice to a Slim Young Man.

II want to see an editor" said slim
young man who wore very light pants,
a hat aOout the size and shape of a pea.
nutshell, and collar that seemed to
be always reaching for his chin without
quite getting there, as he opened the
door yesterday afternoon.
"If it's anything about delightful
reception was held last Thursday even
ing at the residence of our well-known
fellow citizen, John Smith, or Miss
Beatrice Perkins will spend the autumn
at Mukwanago, you'll have to take it
into the other room;" said the horse
re porter, because the society editor is
out editing chicken fight this after
noon, and the orders are to turn all the
social Cruel over to the ianitor. To-
morrow is window. cleaning day."
II came up to see," said the young
man, "whether one of the editors would
have any objection to giving me some
advice on matter in which am deeply
interested. may say that"
".You're in love, aren't your asked
the horse reporter. 81 know you are,
anyhow" he continued, without giving
the visitor chance to answer. "There
is sort of nervous, hesitating, cat.
found-in-the-wrong back yard air abou
your actions that gives you away at
once. What's the troublep Girl gone
back on you2"
81 think not" replied the young man.
II cannot believe that any one has
usurped my place in her affections.
Done what?"
II say do not believe her love has
faltered"
"You mustn't have such Boston way
of talking" said the horse reporter, ''or
we shan't be able to get along we'll.
The girl hasn't weakened, you say9 ?"
mo"
"How's the old mana Have you cor
rallied himp"
"Do you mean the young lady's
fatherw asked the visitor, a look of
mild astonishment passing over his
countenance.
Certainly I do," responded the re-
porter. "How do you loom up in the
parental horizon ?"
"The father of the young lady does
not object to me-" was the reply.
"Well, then, what's wrongP You
have the girl on your side, and her
father is agreeable. tt looks to me like
a walk-over for the money"
81 hardly think you understand the
matter" said the young man. "My
trouble is that the young lady does not
seem fitted to become the wife of a
man who wants helpmeet. She doesn't
seem to have any practical ideas re-
garding life."
"Sort of q girly- girl, isn't she ?" said
the horse reporter; ''always talking
about the identity OF the ideal, aud all
such mush as that, and wants to know
if the silvered pencilings of moonlight
among the verdure. clad trees are moi
weirdly beautiful. I've seen that kind.
They're dasies-to keep away from"
81 think you have the right idea,
replied the visitor, "although your style
of expressing it is somewhat crude"
"Its a pretty tough case," said the
admirer of Maud 8. "These girls that
are so eternally @sthetical are generally
first-class feeders though-Tve noticed
that. The silvery moonbeams never
seem to take away their appetite. I guess
you'd better try the reckless dissipation
racket-that ought to fetch her."
"Try the what?"
"The reckless dissipation racket. The
next time you call on Myrtle, or what.
ever her name is, you want to plant
yourself on the sofa with sort OF
weary, man n-been-reading. a. Milwaukee
paper look, and put your hand up to
your forehead. Then when she asks
what's the matter, you say that he,
manner of late has been SO cold that il
must be that she does not love you, and
that the thought of losing her was sc
maddening that you have been indulg
ing in reckless dissipation. If sh'
doesn't sling herself around some then
and say that she will never, never leav'
you, and how could you ever doubt he
love, and all that. I'm no judge
And the horse reporter assumed (
Benjamin Franklin look.
II will act on your suggestion said
the visitor, taking up his kiss-me quick
before-I-go hat, and looking out in s
friendly way over the high-water collar
"How much dissipation do you think
ought to indulge in to produce the
proper effectp
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