The Osceola times., 1882-03-25
The Conductor.
Texas Sinings.

In appearance the conductor resem-
bles a L. :. Naval Officer. If a py-plass
were showed under his arm and he we're
taken mp and set down on the quarter
deck Of a United States man 'of-war, the
sailors would all think he belonged
there. The only difficulty about it is there
is no United States man-of-war it would
be safe to put the conductor on. He
would not take any such risk of being
drowned. Like the captain OF ship
the conductor is boss of the situation
He does not precisely run the train. The
engineer does that, but the conductor
runs the engineer. Unless he chooses
he has no occasion to becivil to any body
on the train, unless the president of the
company is on board.
The principal duty of the conductor is
TO take up tickets aud collect fares from
snch as have neither tickets nor passes
If any such passenger refuses to pay, on
attempts to put the conductor OIL, the
conductor puts him right off in the mid.
die of big prairie. The conductor has
even been known to treat newspaper
men that way, and the journalist who is
treated in that way usually gets even by
taking the conductor oh'-in his, the
journalists, paper. journalist Of that
class will then proceed to denounce rail.
road monopolies
As soon as the train leaves the station
the conductor enters the car, and after
looking in out-of-the-way places for ir.
responsible parties who might be hiding
he proceeds to 40 through the car and t.
levy and collect assessments from the
al 4
power-of-attorney from Jesse James him.
self As general thing, his authority
TO collect money from the passengers is
only derived from Jay Gould, Wander
bilt, or some other legitimate highway
man. As it is very difficult for Jay Gould
TO be on every car in every train, and al
the servant Is like the master, passen
gers are directed to get their tickets be
| fore entering the car. The object of thi,
/ is evidently TO prevent passengers from
| paying their fare to the conductor, ss h,
might not be able to bear up under thu
| temptation. At night, however, the tick.
ct Offices are not open, and the passen
gers have to pay their fare to the conduc
tor, and then, if Jay Gould is net on tn,
car, il the conductor is not very consci
entiOus, he may forget to turn the money
over. Jay. himself, never forgets to turn
the money over. When he buys a rail
road cheap, he frequently turns ii owe
three or four times, so they say. Som,
passenger, who had a spite at railroad
company, makes vow the COMPANY
shall never handle any of his money, 81
always pays his fare to the conductor
and then he feels sure the company viii
not get any OF it. The belief that rail
road conductors grow rich in this way
is caused by many Of them wearing laigt
diamond breastpins that outshine tn,
lantern the conductor holds on his ann
Ve'y lew people know that such breast
pins only cost dollar and half at
hardware store, and are frequently pre-
sented to the conductors by drummer
as souvenirs.
Another duty Of the conductor is f
fail to impart information to reporter
about any accident that may happen t.
his train. If a conductor tells reporte
anything about any accident, the com
pany requests him TO send in his resig
nation to the Senate Much more infor
nation can be obtained from dead ma
who has been run over, length wise, b.
five passenger cars, than can be got on
of a conductor When reporter ask
him for information about the dreadful
accident, he acts and looks as if he relie
on the reporter to tell him all about it.