davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
A Suggestion for n New style OF Con-
greesioE al Record

suggestion Tor n new style or Con-
greesioEa al Record.
If congress resolve to act upon the
suggestion made bv Senator Miller that
The Congressional Rec rd be issued As
weekly and sent to every family in The
country, some modification ought to be
made of the contents of The Record.
The paper is much too heavy and dis
NAL in It's present condition to be well
coined in the ordinary American house
hold. Perhaps it might have apuzzle
departm ent, and if so, one of the first
puzzles could take the shape of an in
quiry how it happens that SO many
congressman get rich on $4,000 year.
The department of answers to CORES
pondents could be enriched with refer
ences to letters from office-seekers, and
the department of household economy
could contain explanations OF how the
members frank their shirts home
through the postoffice so as to get them
in the family wash. AS for the general
contents, describing the business pro-
ceedings in the senate and the house,
we recommend that these should be
put into the form of verse. We should
treat them, say, something in this
fashion
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
JoSH RII.LINGs.

His name is Shipherd, not Shepherd;
nevertheless, he endeavored to gather
congressional lambs into his fold.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Il hear" says the London Truth,
chat at last weeks ballot for the Ok
ford and Cambridge club, Mr.. Ashmead-
Bartlett Burdett Coutts achieved the I'M
precedented distinction of receiving
20 black balls.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Send your name and address to
Craigin 4 Co., Philadelphia, Pa, for
cook book free.-Adr.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

The two Oldest ex-Senators Of the
United States now living are Mr. fulee,
Of Florida, and Mr.. Ciiley, Of New
Hampshire The latter, who Is u
years old, Is lying dangerously I'LL
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

A homely but sensible Philadelphia
girl, who never wore big hat at the
theater, has been married three times,
and on each occasion married rich.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Washington's occupation: An Eng
lish turf-man visiting Mount Vernon
engaged in conversation with native
and after a few preliminary remarks
observed: Il dare say Mr.. Washington
didn't care much for 'orses. You
cawn't tell me, l suppose. if he was
hever 'oss breaker?" The Virginian
eyed him few seconds doubtfully and
then answered: 81 amt much on history,
but to the best of nay recollection the
General was a lion tamer.n
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Sara Bernardo is reported as looking
exceedingly i'll, and it is thought in
Paris that she cannot live much longer.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
Gen Skobeleff. the Russian wa

has received 43 challenges from Ger
many to fight duels in consequence of
his anti-German remarks in recent
speeches.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Gen. Sheridan has fought Ga battles,
and he never knew what fear was until
he stood on his front door steps and
heard the bells strike two and realized
that he had forgotten his excuse.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

The soft and silky appearance given to the hair
by the use of Carboline the natural HAIR restOreI
and dressing, as now improved and perfected, is
the subject of general remark by all who have
witnessed its effects upon the human head Sold
hY all dealers in druns
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
Mr.. Hill
introduced a bill
To give John Smith a pension
Mr.. Bsyard
Talked himself tired,

To give John Smith pension
Mr.. Bsyard
Talked himself tired
But said nothing worthy of mention.
This would be succint, musical, and
in degree impressive. The youngest
readers could grasp the meaning of it,
and it could easily be committed to
memory. Or scene in the house
might be depicted in such terms as
these:
A very able speech made by Cox of Min
nesota.
Respecting the necessity of protecting the black
Twas Indignantly responded to by Smith of Ala
bama.
Whose abominable talk was silenced by the speak
er's hammer.
Then Atkinson of Kansas rose to make an expla-
nation,
But was pulled down bya colleague in a state OF
indignation,
And Mr.. Alexander, in speech about Insurance,
Taxed the patience of his hearers pretty much
beyond endurance.
After which Judge Whitney denounced the reci-
procity
Treaty with Hawaii as u sOsndalous monstrosity.
1t would be advisable of course, to
vary the meter as much as possible in
order to prevent the monotony which
would otherwise dull the interest of the
reader.
After giving the proceedings in the
house as above, something of more
spirited nature, perhaps, could be in
serted into the senate reports. Sup
pose, for example, the pages devoted
to the senate should lead of with
something of this kind
Then up rose Smith Of Florida, the best Of the
debaters,
And he spoke about his measure for protecting
alEgators;
He showed how tourists shoot at them without
regard for reason,
And ask.d to have it made crime to kill them
out Of season.
Then Brown, he moved amendment by inserting
a brief clause
Compelling alIigators not to operate their jaws
But Smith he up and said of him Tao thought the
subject comical
That nature, when she gave him sense, had been
teo economical
And Brown, responding briefly, wished to say in
this connection
That Smith in guarding reptiles had an eye to
telf-proteetion;
Then Smith he flung volume Of the Message and
Reports,
AID brown was laid upon the floor good deal
out Of sorts-
OF course, versifcaiion of The Con-
gTessiondl Record would require the SER
vices of poet laureate of rather un-
USUAL powers. If congress shall accept
seriously the suggestions which we
make with an earnest desire to pro-
mote tie public interest, we snail ven-
ture to recommend the selection of the |
Sweet Singer of Michigan as the fret |
occupant of the laureate's office.-Oltr |
Continent
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
The illumination.

with. and represents the aged and worthy ST.
JACOB holding aloft i'm his hand that beaconw which
will guide Alright all sailing upon the of life
whose waters abound with the shoals and dan
gerous places Of sickness and disease. The light
II casts is designed to show that ST. JACOBS or Il
the true and trusted means of keeping the body
on its proper course and of easing and Fighting
II should il be unfortunately east upon the shoals
ands of grateful ones throughout the world have
proved the value and felt the good of this Great
German Remedy and are glad 10 recommend II
TO all needing the services Of just such remedy.
In this connection Mr.. John s., Briggs a well
known citizen of Omaha, Neb.. told newspaper
man that he was terribly afflicted with an acute
attack of rheumatism in his back. The disease,
which had been preying upon him for years had
drawn him out Of shape. He Tesorted 10 every
remedy known to physicians, but found no relief
until he tried ST. JACOBS OIL one bottle of which
effected a complete and radical cure. Another
case may justify reference:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
PRETTY MUCH ALL DROWNED,

but mules have been put into the lofts
of gin houses and are being kept there
in hopes that the waters will subside
before they starve.
The steamers Headlight, Carney and
Golden Era arrived at Vicksburg to-
day from different sections, all having
large numbers of refugees aboard, who
where taken from housetops and other
precarious places. Ten thousand peo-
pie are expected to arrive at Vicksburg
to-day and tomorrow, and there are
more than that number here already,
and every boat brings an additional
number. None of these people having
anything in the world except their
clothes on their backs. Coy. Lowry
will make Vicksburg his headquarters
tomorrow. He says he will add the
states contingent fund of $4,000 to the
appropriation made by the Legislature.
He will send the steamer Yazoo City
up the Yazoo tonight and hurry for
ward the small boats as fast as possible,
to be used in rescuing the people from
their perilous positions, the first OBJ
ject being to save life.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
4 VETERAN SEANAy'S TROUBLE.

Editor Inter Ocean, Chicago H.: send YOU this
feeling that the information conveyed will be ol
material benefit TO many Of your readers. One
Of our Oldest citizens, Captain G. ", Boynton the
Government Lighthouse keeper at this point. is
probably one of the oldest seamen i'm America
having sailed tweniy-siX years on salt water
After this forty-siX years service his eyesighi
failed him and he kept the Light at Chicago until
the Government built the Gross Point Light here
when he was transferred. While seated I'm my
store this morning the Captain volunteered tho
following written statement: This Is 10 certify
that / have been afflicted with rheumatism for
twenty t2OJ years, both in my side and limbs.
am happy to say that after using less than two bot
ties of the ST. JACOBS OIL, am entirely free from
pain, though still limping somewhat when walk
ing, from long force Of habit. G.. w. BoYSTOS."
Referring to the foregoing facts. might allude TO
numerous similar cases that have come 10 my
notice but "a word 20 the wise Is sufficient"
JOHS GoEBEL, Pharmacist, Evanston, Ill
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Mr.. John n. Mcfarland, of Ashland. Ky,
writes: Il will tsy Of what sickness was cured
My back aehed 50, / could hardly bend it. My
urine was dark-colored and full Of sediment. Ny
liver and stomach gave me great pain. Ny
bowels were sometimes loose and sometimes con-
stipated- was very nervous. / could not sleep
well nights NY dreams were horrible. Ny men,
DRY was bad. Ny whole system was run down.
and my blood seemed poisoned. took no pl cas-
ure in eating. I found no joy ia living. DR.. Guy
sottis yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla cured me- Of
ali my Distress I think il Is the best medicine
in the world
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Burdette writes from Nantucket:
''Many of the old houses in thu town
are shingled all the way over, remind
ing one of the houses so common In st.
John. The shingler, when he shungle,
apparently began at the baseboard,
shungle right up the front of the house,
over the cornice, up to the ridge-pole,
where he crawled over, went right on
down the other side of the house to the
ground. Perhaps it was done In this
way. / do not assert that it was. /
only say, and / say it very meekly,
that that is the way it impressed me,
and If any man says am = liar, viii
take it back, right Immediately, and
admit that the shingles were pasted on
with gum arabic or the white of egg"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

boiling current, and that is the situation
now. There are embraced IN this
overlooked district Tunnica, Coaho-
mats, Bolivar, Washington and Issgue-
ns Counties. Sunfiower, Tallahatchie,
Quitman and Yazoo Counties are also
affected, though not to the extent of
THIS BORDER TIER.
1t is estimated that $1,000 people
are suffering in the above named
counties, and at least three-hffhs will
be dependent upon charity until the
waters go down. The State Legislature
appropriated SO 900 for relief, but ad-
journed before the magnitude of the
situation was known. From lake Pro-
violence down the delta opposite Vicks-
burg the situation is much the same as
on the Louisiana line.
The Ficksourg Commercial has dis
patch. received to-day from Yazoo City,
the latest from there. 1t says the sit
uation is becoming more and more
alarming. Men are here appealing to
the merchants fer boats to rescue from
destruction their mules and horses, hay
ing given up all hope of saving their
| cattle, hogs or sheep. The steamer
Golden Era has arrived here
FULL OF REFUGEES
from places between here and Belzsnea
Thousands of cattle will perish, being
now virtually abandoned to the mercy
of the elements.
Hunt pressed into service all the skiffS
he could get and built number of ba.
teaux. These were sent out in every
direction, and day and night people
were taken from their housetops, where
they had sought refuge from the flood
and conveyed to such elevated spots as
We're above water. But for this prompt
action the loss of life must have beer
great. The breaking of the Bolivar
and Coahama levees also saved the Co
lumbia on the Arkansas side Of the
river. Had the bank there overlooked
THE ENTIRE COUNTRY
would have been submerged. The
Eagle Bend country is entirely under
water. This, like the Yazoo country
is a very rich, highly cultivated section
and among the best cotton regions il
the state. At Milliken's Bend the wa
ter is pouring over the levee in grea
sheet. At Omenga, Alsatia and Good
rich the levees are hourly expected Il
give way and complete the destruct
| ion.
Capt. Parisal told the correspondent
that the situation up the Yazoo Bash
is beyond description. The tops of gil
houses, he says, are covered with PEG
pie and there the Anita will find them
Cattle and hogs are
] pREI1,1- AII,1,I Al npAA.nIEn
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24
THE BAGGAGE MAN.
CONGRESSMEN'S DOINGS.

Trunks can't last forever.
burlington R0lrk,- Ey
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-03-24

Capt. Parisal told the correspondent
that the situation up the Yazoo Basin
is beyond description. The tops of gin
houses, he says, are covered with peo-
pie and there the Anita will find them.
Cattle and hogs are
The Baltimore County union., 1882-05-20
CHARMING GIRLS.

II you are fortunate in possessing
beauty, my dear girls, be thankful for
the gift, but do not over-rate it. The
girl who expects to win her way by her
beauty and to be admired and accepted
simply because she is 4 lady, has the
wrong idea. She must secure a lovable
character il she wishes TO be loved, and
my advice TO you all is to lay the foun
dation of a permanent influence. To
win and hold admiration you must cul-
tivatc the gifts that nature has bestowed
upon you. If you have a talent for
music, develop il; learn to sing some
choice songs and toperform upon some
instrument, for many are charmed more
by music than by handsome features
Pursue the same course with regard TO
painting, drawing and designing, and,
il you have the power TO obtain useful
knowledge in any direction, do it. |
have heard young men in speaking OF
lady acquaintanoeS say, "Oh, they look
well, bu, they don't know anything. "
There is no necessity for such state OF
things books are cheap and accessible.
II you labor all day in stop or store
still At odd intervals YOU can gather up
an education and contend with no greater
difficulties than did Clay, Fillmore,
Webster, and Others OF our greatest men.
II you go through like 4 fitting butterfly
how will you be spoken of by and by
own il is nice TO eat, drink and be
merry, and be cour,ed and ilattered by
all your friends but how much better
to cultivate character, sense, and true
womanlineSs
The Baltimore County union., 1882-05-20
A LESSON IN NATURAL HISTORY.

Bin Xye IN hs Boomerang.
In answer to a correspondent who
writes us for information on the above
subject we have compiled the following
information
Eng and Chang were born simultane-
ously on the 18th day Of April, 1871,
and died at the age Of 63 years. They
were connected together by patent
coupler, which entered the body Of each
in the region of the vest pocket. This
connecting arrangement necessarily
threw them great deal in each others
society. When they were boys their
lives were rendered more or less unhappy
by their widely different tastes.
Eng was very fond Of sour apples in
his youth, and when at night he rolled
upon his bed with large amount Of
collie on hand Chang had to lie awake
and get the benefit Later in life Chang
developed a strange longing for the
flowing bowl While Eng was Good
Templar. When Eng went to the lodge
the worthy outside guard would refuse
to let Chang in because he couldn't give
the pass word, and as Eng couldn't go
in and leave Chang in the ante-room,
he had to 90 home and wait till another
meeting.
Eng was Mason and Chang was a
Knight Of pythias and they used to give
each other away sometimes and have
lots of fun. Eng was a half-breed and
Chang was Stalwart, and that made
i bad about attending caucuses.
Chang joined the Episcopal church
ard believed in sprinkling, while Eng
was Baptist, and not only got immers-
ed himself but fixed il so that Chang got
his sins washed away at the same time.
Once in a while Chang would get an in
vita,ion to a private party in a set to
which Eng did not belong, and then
they had to settle the question by put
ting Etruscan noses on each other as to
whether they should go or remain at
home. Chang died first, and Eng died
few hours later As a matter Of courtesy.
Eng was not prepared to die, and regret
ted that he was not consulted by Chang
before this important step was taken,
but he said il would save the expenses
OF two funerals, and he wanted to do
what was right. The lives of these two
men were somewhat peculiar in many
little nameless annoyances to which each
were compelled to submit, and which
would not At first occui to the student.
For instance, Chang had to get up and
90 for the doctor in company with Eng
whenever Eng's children had the Group; /;
and whenever Chang's wife thought
there was a burglar in the woodshed
Eng had to get up in his nightshirt and
20 with his brother in search of the viii
lain. They couldn't ride the festive
velocipcde, and when Chang got billing
drunk Eng had to 90 TO the jug with
him. and stay there till the fine was paid.
Among the many blessings which cluster
about US, and are showered down upon
us through life, we are prone TO lose
sight OF the fact that, with all Of our
sorrows and disappointments, We were
not born Siamese twins.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-05-20

first sent to the brig, and every one
arrived there in safety. Each boat
made two loads to the brig, carrying in
all one hundred persons.
"By this time night was setting in.
The brig had drifted to leeward several
miles away from the steamer, and she
was so crippled that she could not beat
up to her again.
"As one Of the last boats was about
to leave the ship, her commander gave
his watch to passenger, with request
that il might be delivered to his wife.
He wished to charge him with a message
for her also, but his utterance was choked.
Tell her Unable to proceed, he
bent down his head, and buried his face
in his hands for moment, rs il in
prayer, for he was 4 devout man and
true Christian.
"In that moment, brief as il was, he
endured the great agony. But it was
over now. His crowding thoughts no
doubt had been of friends and home /;
its desolation, a beloved wife and love-
ly daughter dependent alone for support
upon him. God and his country would
care for them now. Honor and duty
required him to stick to his ship, and he
saw that she must so down.
"Calm and collected, he rose up from
that short but mighty struggle with re-
newed vigor, and went with encourag-
ing looks about the duties of the ship as
before. He ordered the hurricane decks
to be cut away and RATS to be made
The life-preservcrs were also brought up
and distributed to all who would wear
them.
CATER the boat which bore Mr.. Payne,
TO whom Herndon entrusted his watch,
had showed off, the Captain went to his
statcroom and put on his uniform. The
gold band around his cap was concealed
By the oil-silk covering, which he usual
~ wore over it, He took the covering
off and threw i; on his cabin floor; then
walking out he took his stand on the
whcel.house, holding on to the iron rail-
ing with his left hand. \ rocket was
set off the ship fetched her last lurch,
and as she went down hc nRdorcrcG
"a cry rose from the sea, but not from
his lips. The waves had closed about
him, and the curtain OF the night was
drawn over one of the most sublime
moral spcciacles that the sea ever saw. "
['rhe daughter of Captain Herndon
referred TO above was the wife of Ches-
\. Arthur, now President of the United
States.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-05-20

parA girl out West writes to paper
to know good recipe for lip salve.-
The best recipe we ever struck was to let
our lips have contact withers.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-05-20

FoR "THE USIoS."
TO MISS BESSIE.


Like you, Miss Bess, in yorth I thought
That poetry and art
Would by attainment bring along
Some solaee 10 the heart.
"Fine frenzy" Of the poets mind.
Or tender thrills from art,
Perhaps we both have felt, bet ah.
What void still ellis the heart.
Dame Nature 10 this void revsrts
And speaks her simple truth
She lays our glorying In the dust,
With all the hopes Of youth.
But why. when life's best days are spent
To reach = wished for goal,
Does Nature with an unkind hand
Prevent our straining soul
Twas not from Mature, but from men
Our hopes were vainly fed;
And By strength upheld by them
We we're sedueed and led.
And chance rewards are all they give
We might have struck \ prize;
But like too many have We found
That phantoms filed our eyes.
Do food and clothing, health and friends
At nearer hand present,
Than u as milk. maid, plow-boy We
Our days sf yoath had spents
And do We feel as well prepared
For that great sphere Of life
Where health aud muscle and plain sense
Might see Us man and wife
The scholars desk and printed page
Are too much sought, I trow;
trod the path with customs step
But regret Il now.
Perhaps you may not thus confess,
But as for me, ] say,
Just give the but my youth again
And then ''the good old way" Y.
May sth, 1882.
The Baltimore County union., 1882-05-20
COME AND SEE NE.

Never take Come and see me" As 4
phrase meant in earnest, unless 1t is ac-
companied with date. Such an invi-
ta,ion amounts to nothing At all. II
lady or gentleman desires your company
he or she will appoint time for your
visit. "Call on me when YOU can make
i, convenient :" "Drop IN as YOU are
passing" "Make up visit when you
have an hour or two to spare, are social
antiquities by which men and women
of the world understand that they are
not expected TO do the thing requested.
When people wish to be cheaply polite,
there is nothing like this sort OF vague
ness. The complimentary small change
of society must always be taken at 4
large discount. II is never worth its
face, or anything like it. Yet it is I
convenient medium of exchange, and
heavy debts OF gratitude tha; ought TO
be requited in better coin, are often paid
with il. People that have more polish
than principle use il lavishly-plain,
blunt, honest men, sparingly or not at
all. Whoever makes a friendly visit to
fashionable house on the strength Of 4
mere "Come and see me-" will very
often find that the family circle he has
dropped into by request isas uncongenial
as the Arctic circle, and he will proba-
bly, leave it with chilly feeling that will
prevent him from venturing into the
same high latitude again. But when a
whole-souled man, whom you know to
be your friend, graspS you vigorously
by the hand and says, "Come home and
dine with me to-day--dinner on the table
at FIVE o'clock-be sure to come shall
expect you," you can take it as certain
that your presence is warmly desired.-
1t is pleasant to make or receive visit
from a friend, but nod on the street
is enough from fashionable acquaint-
ance.