The Magnolia gazette., 1882-06-16
LErrRR FRoM QUIETUs.

Editor Magnolia Gazette;
am very glad, Mr.. Editor, you gave
me that receipt Oh rats free gratis. Had
yon been exhorbitant vita me, would
have been out of pocket aud my afilc-
tion none the better have pretty we'll
exhausted my muscular strength, strik-
ing right and left at every rat could find
Aboutthe only damage have done, was
to exterminate ones tail. After expert
ence Iconcluded the sledge hammer rem
edy WAS too laborions in execution, tho
/ must confess it is very simple and
Inexpensive remedy, and / believe il /
could keep o rat 10 position long enough
to apply'it properly, lcould exterminat@
him every time. never expect to be del
uged with them like they say they are in
those eastern countries. Before wonld
be over-run with them that way, would
borrow about three households from
Utah; if that didn't exterminate them
there wouldn't be any virtue in children.
Next to rat codld loso my patience
with goose, sooner than any other ami
NAL. Ialways feel like fighting when l
go about goose, for he is bound to hiss
Mt you every time You come along. He
may not mean any harm by it, but
cant help bnt think he's trying to show
contempt for somebody.
A goose has the fewest intellectual
gifts Of any animal I know Of; what little
talent he does possess Is entirely devoted
to making fuss. A goose couldn't be
happy in this life nnless he could hollo
about every ten Minutes. Should you pre-
vent him from making fuss, be would
lose his health and finally die with de-
preston of spirits. Some people cult
vate them for their feathers, but q great
many have natural fondness for them,
aud keep them as ornaments to their
households. / had rather do without
their feathers, than to be supplied with
their barbarous music If even form a
partnership in the joys aud sorrows Of
this world, would draw ont Of the firm
sooner on the goose question than most
any other, for ii there Is Que thing 10 shis
life have my mind fixed on, 1t is never
!. TO own n goose. never owned but one
in my lite, md that was gander; he
seemed TO be very peaceable Eird and
l thought wonld keep him for tooth.
picks, but he became so disor1erly in his
conduct l was Obliged to exterminate
him. have read in the history where
it says Rome WAS saved by goose, but
never did believe it was any noble emo
tion of his soul made him do 1t. bnt he
inst happened 10 be seized with M i'm.
pulse to hollo. They are admirably A.
dapted ny nature for sentinels. The
first thing goose does on waking up, is
To sound general alarm, and wherever
there is a gate or doorway, there they
will keep watch and ward, md it does
seem to me, they exert themselves to
wake all nature mp, abont fourteen times
night. Geese in general take more in.
terest ID Il goose fight, than any Of theil
other social or domestic affairs. AT sucl
times they execute a war dauce around
the cumbafauts aud burden the air witt
shricks Of ecstatc delight When one
goose Whips another he has to go round
ard receive the congratulations of every
other goose, aud for u solid honr they
keep mp the most desplcable rncket cee
brating the event There's Que pecnli.
arity about g0Ose that's exhilerating L
see him indulge. when he gets in tile no
tion to wash himself. He is going througl
the motion, water or no water. perhap
his imagination supplies the water, fo
when he gets through the different atti
tudes he seems about as we'll satisfied a.
il he had taken n genuine bath / be
lieve he could have gotten through th,
flood independent Of Noah's ark, for hi
floating capacity would be bard to eqnal
/ have always thanked my stars that wri
/, ting with goose, quills went out Of fash
lou before | had to 80 to school, becaus
it took all my ability TO learn with stee
pen; though did think once could dt
!. better with goose quill, and starte
this song on it:
= On, for grey goose-q quill
With which to pen my inspiration,
A wooden hold and steel pen will
Somewhat clog the emanation.
j, But haven't a goose nor turkey her
From which to get the feathers,
Oh heavenly muse, help this steel PEI
: To write the six aud twenty letter.
: never finished it because / beard
said, the sweetest songs are those tha
: never have been sung, and wanted
one among the sweetest. used to thin
ii was very easy thing to act a goose
= but have como to the conclusion thi
a person must have some natural tasi
for it, or be never can succeed we'll. Th
l. goose is the favnrite role OF the gret
"Barnum show man" in fact, he ha
given SO much time and study to th
part that the characteristics OF a goose b,
wade his whole existence. 1t is seriou
study with me, whether bis acting III
q goose isn't more the result of nature, ,ha
cultivated accomplishments. ha
rather encounter herd Of geese than |
) encounter HIM, for he Is more unbecon
lug aud disorderly in his conduct.
never will do Mr.. Editor, to talk abou
exterminaiing geese tor they are the e
- t1ecial meta of naariv averv houp., ~, q