The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1882-05-26
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a lawyer is about the only man that
ever made anything by opposing a
woman "''' r.
1t may be more blessed to give than
to receive, but the grand old majority
OF human sinners will continne TO
struggle on without the blessing
"A San Francisco was says he thinks
the Chinese will yet win universal re-
spect in the Christendom, on account
of their heathenish habit of mindp0
their own business.
81 tell you gentlemen, that dog Of
mine is an intelligent critter." "Pos.
siole," muttered Fogg; "but vou
wouldn't think it, judging from the
company he keeps"
The Colorado style of marriage bene-
ulction Is as follows: "Them as this
asnDder, bnt suffer little children 10
come unto them, so help You God"
Chas. Dudley Warner remarks: cal
though there are scattered through tie
land many persons, am sorry to say,
unable to pay for newspaper, have
never heard of ANYBODY unable to edit
onc.''
1t is said under the Laws of the pil-
grim fathers man could not kiss his
wife on Sunday. Judging from the
pictures Of some of the pilgrim mothers,
one days vacation week was none too
much
A Clergyman who had Just married a
couple felt indignant when the bride
groom gave him a fee of only half a
dollar, smiled grimly and said: "Never
mind. You'll have 10 pay a lawyer
SlC0 for undoing what have done
Adam of all husbands, was the least
hen. n.pecked. Whenever Eve would
begin to remind him of his shortcomings
he had only TO say, "Madame | hone
yon have not forgot that little affair Of
the apple"
"Gentlemen of the iury," said De-
irolt lawyer. "there were just thirty-six
hogs in the drove; just three times as
many as are in that jury box, gentle
men," And he lost the case because of
his love of mathematical clearncss.
Milk consists largely of albumnoids.
carDohydrates, and protoXde of hydro
gen, but baby never thinks OF that
Il
c"i'', dark night. Young peoplc in a
state OF singleness please remember this
ysiological. fact.
The most abscnt-minded man was
not the man who Hunted for his pipe
wheH II we hntWeen his teeth, nor the
man who threw his lis nat uut vi .i.A
window and tried TO hang his cigar an
a peg; no. but the one who put the
umbrella to bed snd went and stood
behind the door.
A mild tempered resident of Clinton
Oneida county, "rcspectfully" adver-
tises in the local paper TO the follnwing
who toek away my gate last Saturday
night will think better of themselves
some 10 years hence if they will return
it nnawares 10 its former position
n Now Nark- -elerQyman- in n SER
mon on courtship and marriage, said he
believed that "thcre is mate tor every
one If they will bnt wait till the right
one comes along" The female portion
OF his congration who passed two score
years said they never heard such nom
sense, and that the man did not know
what he was talking about. If the
right one doesn't come along before
woman reaches forty the chances are
uluc III tcu luul ne is slOWcu ulueT, or
dead, or, worse still, has married the
wrong woman.
How pleasant it is II gaze on the
innocent amusement of happy child
hood! There is little Johnny playing
beside the newly painted fence. He
draws his dainty finger over the moist
surface, making beautiful arabesques
and undecipherable hieroglyphes that
would set an antiquary into Mysteries
of joy. Johnny's new suit is made pic
turesque by the borrowings from the
fence, and his face and hands are ellec-
tually disguised in the pigment. Hap
py, careless, innocent childhood And
here comes Johnny's mother. How
eagerly she seizes her darling! How
closely she hngs him in her fond en-
brace! Now she has disappeared with
her darling within doors. What are
those sounds which issue thence? 1t is
Johnny's voice. Is he laughing merri-
ly over the remembrance of his recent
sport? Possibly; but il does not sound
like laughter. Again we say, happy,
happy childhood.