The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-03-30
GLEANINGS.

Adversely borrows its sharpest sting
from our impatience.
Pres. Eliot says that, with strict econ
omy, it costs about $500 a year to be a
student at Harvard.
The loss to England by the last three
years bad harvest is estimated at from
800, 900, 900 to $3.50, 100000 year.
SEQ this has little dashed your
spirits" is what the man said when he
put too much water in his friends COB
let.
Another weather profit" said Blif-
fers. as he pocketed a five dollar bill
that he won on awager upon atmospher-
ic changes.
To get ahead, go to the butchers and
buy a. calls head. OF course, if You
havssone already, you needn't go. No
compulsion. you know.
The latest aesthetic slang the ladies
use when reproving their admiring gen
tlemen friends is. ''You hNtter too aW-
fully perfectly much"
She rs Patsey, air you extetic" He
''Say what air you givin us?'' She-'You
know; air you fond of broken crockery,
and them thingsp'
DON'T You think that Miss Brown is
sweet girl?" asked Henry. ''Oh, yes,
very sweet" replied Jane; 'that is to
say, she is we'll preserved
A statue of Zwingli is to be erected at
Zurich, the cost not to exceed SO,OOO
francs, and sculptors Of all nations are
invited to compete.
Sambo smiles: 1t made our colored
gentleman smile when the doctor told
him that getting vaccinated was simply
taking matter from one calf to put into
another.
The neanest man that the world has
ever known has at last been discovered.
He died of spontaneous combustion, so
that his estate might escape the payment
of the undertaker's fees.
A party of Young men in Louisville
invested in cotton s'bucket shop" in
that citv. When the bottom dropped
from the bucket they were 100000 be-
hind
1t is stated by DIR. Billings Omitted
States ARMY, that 100000 people die
annually in the United States from pre-
vontable diseases and avoidable acci-
dents.
Enolishmen now take off their gloves
when they take off their hats on entering
house, but it isn't done in Paris. Gen
tlemen us well as ladies cling to their
gloves at the French capital.
The Wheeling CIV. Va.) Register
notes that its state exchanges are almost
unanimously coming out in favor of the
abolition of corporal punishment in
schools
Gen. sherman is only 62 years old,
and, though his vigor is apparent, there
are persons who want him to retire.
Moltle was GA when he won his first
great battle.
Mrs Zen. Custer, according to cor
respondent of the Washington Post, is
in painfully straitened circumstances
She barely supports herself by painting
plaques.
The ether day the Dubuque Times an
noumcad that gentleman had return
ed from successful journey east to
bury his wife, The editor explained
the next day that he wrote it sorrow
full" EE.tsa
The Old ariStocracy of France is fast
disappearing. Only twenty-three OF the
former peers are now living, and among
these are one prince, three dukes, five
marquises, ten counts, two viscounts,
and one baron.
The latest craze among the young
masculine idiots in Massachusetts is for
the collection of hair-pins from young
ladias These are stitched into albums
and marked with the names of the FORM
er OwErrS.
The I'D man sighed as he took the
golden haired, laughing boy upon his
knees. and stroking his shining trcsses,
said: "Ah, how much l should like to
feel Ike a child again" Little johnnie
ceased his laughter, and. looking sober
" mp into his grandfather's face, re-
marked: Then why don't you get
mamma to spank you?'
A little glycerine added to gum o,
glue is a great Improvement, as it pre-
vents either becoming brittle. 1t aisC
prevents gum labels from having {
tendency to curl up when being writer
on.
Mrs. Nancy Jones, of Leavenworth
has invented new punishment fol
chiFlren, which discounts the Montreal
mustard-plaster scheme. One day she
fastened her son, aged r. to the tlool
by means of gimlet driven through one
of his hands. Nextl
Philadelphia Item: .How do yor
say pig in GermanP'' asked an Eng
lishman of an American as the vessc
neared Antwerp, ''You needn't say
anythingsn replied the American
you'll be recognized without explana-
tom -.
New York Commercial Adrertiscr: s'It
is getting to be esthetic for ladies tC
thank gentlemen who arise and Offer
them seat in street ear. We received
one thank this morning, being the first
III five years. To be sure, we haven't
got up much.
Philadelphia NeUs: A Philadelphia
serv ant girl, who did the work of fam
lily Of sixteen went West a few months
ago, married a rich miner, and now
can't even get the meals for herself and
husband without two servants to help
her.
Detroit Free Press: The end of q
champions" career has no glory. Toe
often, after he has out-fought, out
rowed, out-run or out-rode all others,
he sinks out of the public sight and il
never heard of again except as sa-
loon-keeper or the owner of gambling
house. ...r
1t was North Carolina bride
groom, when about to retire on the
wedding night, who could not pull of
his boots. He asked the bride to help
him, and met with an indignant refus-
al The disgusted man took out re-
yoiver, and in ten minutes was dead
with his boots on.
Iowa is the great egg state. From
the town of Keokuk alone 10,500,0 200
eggs were shipped last season. If made
into an omelette a quarter of an inch
thick, these eggs would cover the whole
city of st. Louis. Post Dispatch. Let
somebody make them into an omelette
at once.
a watch stolen from San Francisco
lady more than year ago was returned
to her last week, the singular fact in
connection with its recovery being that
il was sent back from China by some
person there who had received it as a
present, but was not satisfied with its
style.
The ST. Petersburg police have issued
an order forbidding the appearance OF
any actors or dancers on the stage OF
the theaters of the capital whose dresses
Lave not previously been rendered in
crmbustiblef by means of chlorate Of
lime. The same rule has been in force
i'll Berlin for five years.