Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-07-22

| of carbon preciousness about me. Why
civilized fat women should punctuate
| the vast fisbbiness of their ears with 9
! six karat diamond Is one Of the myster.
les. II the organ Is shapely 1t needs no
| ornament; If it looks like frightened
oyster, which it generally does, why
put q blazing gem in 1t as sign-board
! to its ugliness? Why not-since we
are 50 inclined to savage multilation of
taste-run spikes of ivory through our
noses and hang rings through our lower
lip, like the spirituelle beauties of the
Fiji Islands?
OF afternoons Ocean-avenue is one
endless tide Of rolling glory. yeames-
stately, august, magnificent Jeames-
is still the Jeames of Fiith-avenue in
respect to immaculate shorts, ravens
wing beaver, FURNISHED buttons, crease
less coat, and shimmering jacks, but
his imperial dignity is somewhat soften
ed by the luxury OF his seaside life, his
spine shows faint symptoms Of COM
PLEASANT curve, and he even condescends
at rare intervals to turn his ambrosial
head to one side and relax the austerity
of his lips into q mortal smile while
passing the prettiest of the bOnnes at
tending the butterfly troops of children
ON the lawn. These 6Onnes, by the
way, are Gallo or nothing in dress and
coquetry this year. With the shOwiest
of Normandy caps and the gayest of
ribbons decking the smart gown, in dis
lance they carry the imagination back
to Oman and the Rance, but closer in
spection reveals Tipperary crook of
the mouth and q Galway inclination
of the front teeth to project, which be-
trays their true nativity. Their names,
too, are perfect blossoms Of sweetness,
Ia Ruskin simile, by the way;) they are
all Lueilles, Maries, Celestes, or Min
cites, despite the Biddy or Mary Ann
expression spread over the face as plain
ly as butter on wintery waffle.
The children they marshal are
legions, from the blue-eyed and damp
mOuthed prodigy who says 'soo--goo"
when he is pleased, and is seldom
pleased, and howls like an intoxicated
tug-whistle when he Is cross, and is
generally cross, to the spindle-legged
boy and the short skirted girl with berib-
boned pig-tails and figure like her
ring. They toddle about the lawns, lou
in the rockers, shovel sand on the beach,
play tag in the corridors, shrill their
joys and sorrows from eoek-crow to sun
set, and at night some of them sing
green apple ulabies, and evoke muf-
fied profanity and remonstrance from
all sides, and occupy the public mind to
exclusion of all other ills that flesh Is
heir to.
Irritation is rampant. The average
Long Branch girl is Diana in the
chase; her culver is never empty; her
bow is far-reaching and true. her aim
sudden and deadly, and her short-range
work so thorough as to leave nothing
but shreds of her victim. She apparent
~ finds her Endymion thrice daily
Endymion in seersucker and serge
and is to the outward eye as deyout as
he in alteration. A mornings merry
badinage begins the fatal work, a lazy
moons half-shy, half-demonstrative
cOquetry makes the conquest certain;
q wicked glance shot swiftly on the
drive hastens the finish, and a dreamy
waltz in the evening, followed by a
languid stroll through the silvery sheen
of the lamps, when the curtatned sky,
the softly stirring wind, the eolian
murmur of wires, and the rhythm
old oceans rolling anthem lend witch
cry to the hour-all this places the
victim on the altar and makes the sac
ritice complete, leaving only the last
sweet touch of lingering hands, the
whispered good night, and the arch
glance, and the wilted rose dropped
over the baluster as the vision vanishes,
to swing the incense of parting. Part
ing? All! yes, indeed, for the chances
are strong that when Endymion arises
from his dream-baunted couch next
and again seeks the scene of
his happy misery, he finds that even
before his appearance :,
THE imperial votareSs passed on
In maiden meditation fancy free"-
full in pursuit of another, and he is but
q leaf oil the past, sere and valueless as
one of Val Ambrosia, -far-drifted and
almost forgotten.
The weather gods are getting in some
exceedingly fine work now in the way
OF magical glory Of morning, splendor of
noon, indolent calm of evening, flame
of sunset, and scintillant velvet of jew
eled night. Occasionally an eager and
nipping mosquito is Down from the
wilds of Jersey on the wings of the land
breeze, but few puffs of the sturdy
night wind from the sea sends him
wailing whence he came. The days
are not hot, nor are the nights cold,
but such temperature pervades as the
dreamers Of STEAMBOAT revel ina sensu-
Gus, soft, and Silly air, gentle as the
fall ola feather and soothing as balm.
The bellies of the Branch are now
many and of varied charm, but the
supremacy of none has been decided.
Every quarter of the Union has sent its
representatives here to compete for the
mastery. There is stately, gray-eyed
queen from New Orleans; a dozen of
New-York and Brooklyn's choicest
bud and bloom; blythe Baltimorean,
with face like peach blossom; agold-
headed st. Louis beauty, with the most
radiant of smiles and voice OF wonder
full sweetness; a nut-brown maid from
Florida, dark brown and pensive; a
cherry-lipped fairy from Louisville,
winsome and merry as the day is long;
q Richmond gypsy, with a face like
cameo and hands and feet too dainty
for use; q demure but dangerous Cali
fornian, with most wicked brown eyes; q
statuesque Bostonian, with volumes OF
Cupid's lore in her smile, and tiny
sprite from Philadelphia, golden and
bright as the sunshine she delights in.
Which of these will be ajudged the
garland as the
"Queen rose in the rosebud garden OF girls,
is a question yet at issue, and many a
gallant heart will bleed before it is de-
cided.-M y Times.