The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-05-02
Banging Observation-Disclosures
Novelist,


The other day stout ~otnsh, armed
With an umbrella and leading a small
uIchin, called at the Office ot New
York boys story paper.
"Is this the place where they fight In
dians p she inquired of the gentleman
in charge. "Is this the locality where
the brave boy charges up the canyon
and speeds bullet to the heart of the
dusky redskin :" and she jerked the ur-
chin around by the ear and brought her
umbrella down on the desk.
"We publish stories for boys" replied
the young man evasively.
81 want to know if these are the preul.
ises on which the daring lad springs up
on his fiery mustang. and, daiting
through the circle of thuuderstruck saw
ages, cuts the Captiye's cords and bears
him away before the wondering Indians
have recovered from their astonishment
That's the information I'm after. want
Ito know il that sort OF thing is perpe.
trated heref' and she swung the um-
brella around her head. -
81 don't remember those specific acts"
protested the young man
"Iwant TO know IL this is the pre-
cinct where the adventurous boy jumps
on the hack OF buffalo and with uner.
ring aim picks OF one by one of the
blood thirsty pursuers who bite the dust
at every crack of the faithful rife! I'm
looking for the place where that sort of
thing happens and this time she
brought the unlucky young man tre-
mendous whsck across the back
II think commenced the dodging
victim.
"l'm In search OF the shop in which
the boy road agent holds the quiyering
stage driver powerless with his glitter.
ing eye. while be robs the male passen-
gers with an adroitness born of long
and tried experience, and kisses the
hands Of the lady passengers with gal.
lantry OF bearing that bespeaks noble
birth and chivalrous natureF' scream
ed the woman, driving the young man
into the corner. "Pm looking for the
apartment in which that business is
transacted" and down came the um-
brella with trip hammer force on the
young mans hesd."
Upon my soul, ma'am--r' gasped
the wretched youth
81 want to be introduced to the Jars
in which you keep the boy scouts of the
Sierras. Show me the bins full of the
boy detectives of the prairiel Point
out to me the barrels foil OF boy pirates
Of the Spanish main! r.. and with each
demand she dropped the umbrella on
the young mans skull until he skipped
over the desk and sought safety in q
neighboring canyon. -
"I'll teach 'em!'' she painted, grasp
ing the urchin by the ear and leading
him of "I'll teach 'em to, make it
good or dance. Want to go fight In
dians any more7 Want to stand, proud
ly upon the pinnacle Of the mountain
and scatter the plain beneath with the
bleeding bodies Of uncounted slain p
Want to say hist in tone that brooks
40 contradiction Propose to spring
upon the tafrsiI and with ringing word
Of command send broadside into the
richly-laden galley, and then mercifully
spare the 5esutiful maiden in the cabin,
that she may become your bride2 Eh2
Going to do it any more ?"
With esch question she hammered the
yelpiDg urchin until bis bones were sore
and he protested his permanent aband-
onment Of all the glories enumerated.
"Then come along" said she, taking
him by the collar. "Let me catch you
around with any more rarnrods and car.
wing knives. and you II think the leap.
ing, curling resistless prairie fire had
swept With ferocious roar of triumpll
across the trembling plains and lodged
in your pantaloons TO stay y'"- Brooklya
EAGLE.