Huntsville gazette., 1882-04-22
Ludicrous Incidents of Solemn Occa-
r hfr SiOnS.

| There is a ludicrous side to grief, as
well as a pathetic one, and the disinter-
ested observer at q funeral will often
notice absurdities and incongruities
which are all the more glaring and ridicu-
lous from the trappings of woe by which
they are surrounded. We can imagine
| the quaint expression of sorrowful in
dignation on the face of tha5 lfttfB boy
who, while weeping loudly at his grand
mothers funeral, discovered that a little
schoolmate who was presnt was also
crying earnestly. "Look here,n he said
in an angry whisper to the visitor,
s'what are you crying for, she (sob)
wasn't your-r, you-r-r-r grand
mother?"
| 81 k-k-now it," answered the other,
s'but can't f-feel b-bad too?"
| ssNo you can't, responded the mourn
er, in voice that nearly disturbed the
| solemnities.
''Th-th-this a-i-nt n-n-one of your
| if funeral!'' se.
| Upon one occasion when very flow
cry pulpit orator was called upon to
make the final address at the burial SER
vices of a lady who was highly esteem
ed, he had forgotten his notes, in which
he had prepared a peroration somewhat
after the style of Edmund Burke when
he was describing Marie Antoinette.
Fixing his eyes on the bereaved partner
of the deceased, who was buried in
grief, the funeral orator began:
''When she who now lies so
peacefully before us first struck her hus-
band - here he paused and frantically
plunged his hands into his coat-tail
pockets 'sfirst struck her husband"
cit is false she never struck me-"
shouted the angercd husband.
But the orator paid no attention to
him; with glazed eyes and the perspira-
ton rolling down his face he continued
mechanically.
ssFirst struck her husband er-er'-
then as his memory returned he went
on joyfully: 'FirSt struck her husband g
young and romantic fancy in the early
dawn of love and hope," etc., etc., and
the services proceeded without further
interruption.
For genuine wit as well as genuine
good feeling the Irish surpass all other
nations, and their funerals are both
| y,
sible for an Irishman to give an answer
to a solemn question without his mother
wit getting the best of him, and his
manner IS SO indescribably droll it is i'm.
possible not to laugh at him. A priest
who was officiating at funeral where
all present were strangers to him
leaned forward and asked of man
near him if the deceased was a brother,
not knowing the sex himself.
s'No, your rivirence," answered Pat.
s.A sister, then,n said the priest, and
he was about to resume the services,
when Pat leaned forward and whis-
pered
"Nayther, your rivirence; the corpse
was no relation to me at all at ALL
This was as particular as the sexton
who called out, 1sThe second cousins of
the corpse will please come forward and
take their placeS'' At another funeral
the person in power announced that
ssthe lateral branches of the corpse will
now join the procession"
A recent widower in this city, noted
for his fine personnel and suavity of
manners abroad aud the display of
.pure cussedness'' and animosity at
|
wife's funeral by his revelation of nat
ural and acquired obstreperousness.
The friends who had charge Of the SER
vices at the house had arranged the
handsome parlors to their minds, when,
happening to leave them alone few
moments, they returned to find the car
pets covered with sheets, and were in
| formed by the disconsolate husband
"that he didn't propose to have mob
of people destroying his property"
Having dressed for the funeral with elab-
crate care, he informed the friends at
the last moment ssthat he wouldn't step
/ out of his room if he didn't have black
bordered handkerchief furnished. While
the ceremony was in progress and the
minister was delivering fearful tribute
to the virtues of the young wife lying in
her coffin, the bereaved man stepped up
1 to friend who was leaning against
the marble mantel, and whispered:
ssDon't lean on so heavily,i lit will como
/ down if YOU do, and | can't afford to
| have it smashed"
At the grave he gave himself up to a
paroxysm of grief that was known to be
for the benefit of the people present,
and after returning 10 MS ucsOiabe noIne
his first act was to throw the funeral
flowers out of the windows, declaring
they ruined the vases they were in and
Uttered up the rooms.
OF all things simulated grief is the
most absurd and the easiest detected. A
man who insists upon being buried in the
same grave with his wife and requires
two men to support him, while a third
holds his hat on his head, is sure to
marry again within twelye-month, for
such an emotional nature can not ex-
ist Detroit Post and Tribune.
| Mr. i M Swank's statistics of the