The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-03-01

Man wants little here below, and he gets
it.-New Orleans Picayune.
A western editor, in response to sub
scriber who grumbles that his morning pa
per was intolerably damp, says ''thdt is
because there is so much due on 1t"
"You must make calls" said an uncle to
his nephew, ''whether you like it or not, for
there's always pleasure to be derived-if
not when you enter, at least when you come
out"
Oscar Wilde is contemplating poem on
aesthetics Of oysters. Will be prefer them
FACILITATING on the shell, sizzling in the pan,
shriveled in the stew, or consider them fried
just little too too2
Presiden. Arthur is said to be a good
banjo-player. As long as he doesn't take
to playing the ACCORDION or the trombone,
he will continue to receive our support
Norristown Herald.
An Alabama negro offered TO plunge into
a lake and kill an alligator with knife for
fifty cents. He plunged, and if the alligator
did not eat him he Is stuck in the mud at
the bottom.-Detroit Free Press.
Indignant boarding mistress "Why,
what are you there fOr?" Boy on the table
"Mr Hewlett put me here. he says it's his
birthday, and he wants to see something
else on the table besides hashl-Puck.
And now marvellous story comes rolling
over the prairies about a solid bed of crystal
lIzed soda nine feet thick containing sc. 000,-
GOO cubic feet CT that useful article in q
chemically pure state. This alleged deposit
is in Wyoming, and the Union Pacific
Railroad is about TO develop 1t.
cave ,1-ooobars
must not preach all they think That is so.
1t would not be healthy for them to tell q
congregation lust what they think Of them.
If they did, they would soon believe that
God or some one else had "called" them to
another locality.-Boston Globe.
E3The invalid of the Boston Post draws the
following beautiful definition of justice
/ from simple incident of domestic life:
I'VE don't want Guiteau hung. The sent
ence is too light. Let him have the neu-
ralgia, as we had 1t yesterday, the balance
of his life, and justice will be satisfied"
Edison is the proud owner of two hun
bred pstents-all on his own inventions,
too. For all that, his rear suspender but
tons snsp of without warning at the most
inopportune times, Just like those of any
patentless man without mechanical ingenu-
ity enough 20 invent an improved clothes
pin.
"And so gave up searching for him, for
it was as hopeless as looking for needle IN
bnndle of hay" "Then you shouldn't
have, for their is nothing easier" "Noth-
ing easier than what2" ethan finding a
needle in bundle of hay" "Nonsensel
How do you find it2" "Sit down on the
bundle of hayl'
This is a boys composition on girls:
Girls are the only folks that have their own
way every time. Girls is of several thous-
and kinds, and sometimes one girl can be
like several thousand girls if she wants
anything. This is all / know about girls,
and father says the less know about them
the better off am.
James A.. Garfield wrote, in 1877: alt
will be a proud day when an Administration
Senator or Representative, who is in good
standing in his party. can say, as Thomas
Hughes said during his recent visit to this
country, that though he was on the most in
innate terms with the members of bis own
Administration, yet it was not in his power
to secure the removal of the humblest clerk
in the Civil Service OF his Government"
A young attorneya day or two since
Superior Court, asked the clerk if he could
smoke in the room. YES" was the reply.
A pipe was brought out, and the gentleman
was busily engaged in building smoke-col-
umds in the air, when the Judge laid So
fine upon him. Il thought you said /
could smoke here?" inquired he Indignantly
of the Clerk as soon as he got his breath.
IL did" was the reply, SIS that busy officer
proceeded with his minutes; 'didn't you
smoker"
From the Courier-Journal of FEBRUARY 10,
1882: "a chemist of this city was showing
to some friends yesterday a relic which he
considers precious. 1t was lump of what
is known as sugar. which had been kept in
bis family for eighty years. Great quanti-
ties of this singular substance were once
used in this country, bot samples of it are
now to be found only in the richest museums.
It is said to be very sweet. The combina-
ton of glucose and white earth now used
for sweetning purposes would have been re-
jected by our forefathers, but the present
generation cares little for sweets"