The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-03-24
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

1t takes the whole Legislature to
change mans name. A woman can
change hers by the act of single man.
-''I would box your ears" said a
young lady tc her stupid and tiresome
admirer, Elf" eff what?" he anx-
iously inquired. eff could get box
large enough for the purpose" she re-
piled.
"A Cincinnati lady disguised herself
as book agent and made twenty-six
calls at different offices. She saws she
had no idea that old, gray-headed men
could tell such sweet lies and be so de-
ceiving. Detroit Free Press.
Young man, if you had one and
two-third tons of gold coin, you would
be worth just million dollars. Every
little piece of gold you get hold of throw
into the junk pile until you accumulate
that weight. You can then sell it and
be come rich man.-NeW HaUen Regis.
ter.
The great apostle of the esthetes was
asked the other day which of all the nu-
merals he thought the most truly beauti-
full and serenely lovely. "Why, four,
to be sure,' he replied with an air of
inexpressible languor. "And why?''
asked his fair questioner. because it's
two twos.' And that was all he said
that day.
"A boy who had always refused to
eat oatmeal, in spite of his mothers
urgings that it was a Strengthening diet,
suddenly surprised her one morning by
eating liberal plateful and calling for
more. Upon his mother asking for an
explanation, he replied: 81 am bound
to eat oatmeal till am strong enough
to whip Johnny Scott
a" How do you like the character of
St. Paul?" asked parson of his land
lady one day, during a conversation
about the saints and apostles. 'Ah, he
was good, clever old soul, I know"
replied the landlady, ''for he once said,
you know, that we must eat what is set
before us and ask no questions. for con-
science sake. I always thought should
like him for boarder. Modern Ar0o.
Music and Millinery. --"Good morn
ing. Fogg," said Brown, briskly. "How
did you like the opera last nightp'' 20,
$685." answered Fogg, modify; ..noth-
ing striking about it, excepting the
drum-sticks." .'Come, come" returned
Brown, ''be serious. Didn't you think
that bravura passage with pizzicato and
appogiatura embellishments were love-
1y?" {" Guess Ildidn't see it." answered
Fogg, as before; Z" there was only feath-
ers and flowers and things on the one in
front of me-" =. What are talking
about, man?" exclaimed Brown. "That
girls hat, of course. Wasn't you?''
:. Good morning." said Brown, as he
turned the corner.-PucE.
AT meeting of some colored breth-
rem it was decided to make q collection.
The President concluded to pass the hat
himself, and, in order to encourage the
others, he put in a ten-cent piece. After
the collection, during which every hand
had been in the hat, the President ap-
preached the table, turned the hat up
side down, and not even his own con-
tribution dropped out. He opened his
eyes with establishment, he exclaimed:
" Fo' goodness, but TIE chen lost de ten
cents I started widr' Then there was
CONSERVATION on the faces of the as
sembly. Who was the lucky man? That
was the question. It was evidently
hopeless case, and was summed up by
one brother, who rose in his place, and
said, solemly, IS Oar pears to be great
1o,eov, ,,<,,,,,s hook