The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-09-05
Spoopendyke Grab Fishing.

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hat and business suit seated in scow
beside an attractive lady, feeling around
among lot of strings pendant from the
side Of the boat and warning the lady
that she could not keep too quiet.
Now, my dear" observed the gem
tleman, '.don't you move. because /
feel crab on this line. I'll pull him
up until he is in sight and then you slip
the net under him. See?h
Eyes. dear" replied the lady little
fiustered as she contemplated her share
OF the performance. but, Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, what shall do when ! get the
net under hima'
''Scalp him!' retorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, drawing slowly on the line. Snow
wait, he's there, -" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
became even more cautious in LIS move
ments. See himi There he is! Scalp
him quickr'
Mrs. Spoopendyke jabbed the net in
to the water and swashed around with
great yigor.
What We doingP" yelled Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, Strengthening up and glaring
at her, as the crab struck line for
Newark bay, ''What'd we think / had
there. the bottom of the river? Whatd
ye suppose We was trying to catch, a
church? Take it out! Give it herer' and
he grasped the lady AROUND the waist
and took the net away from her.
Ibid scalp him?' asked Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, flushed with her exertions and
trembling with excitement. "Show him
to mel Let me see what he looks liker'
Looks ikei" roared Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. He looks like Sandy Hook by
this time! Why didn't We scalp him?
What's the matter with you?''
ell couldn't tell which was his
head" faltered Mrs. Spoopondyke, who
hadn't seen anything at all. ''Pull him
up again, and you'll see if don't scalp
the last hair on his skullr'
The English language lost its last
charm for Mr.. Spoopendyke, and he
turned to his strings with a whitening
look of contempt for his wife.
Nov you be careful" he said at
length. "Here's another yarmint, and
you mustn't let him get away. When l
say 'Scalpr you shove the net under
him and just bring him aboard"
Can you see him yet?" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke. waving the net over her
head and peering into the water.
''Wait! Yes, there he is! Careful, re-
member. Now, scalp! -
He must have been a crab of phenom-
email scholastic advantages to have got
ten rid of that swoop, for Mrs. Spoo-
with view to redeemino her
self, went for the end of the string
blindly, but with a strength of purpose
that made failure impossible. She not
only got the crab, but she slammed net,
crab and all over Mr.. Spoopendyke's
head.
..What-wah-h! - shrieked that gen.
tleman as he felt himself impounded.
Lost him againm exclaimed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, who hadn't the remotest
idea what a crab looked like. why,
dear, what's that awful big spider in
the net? Good graciousr'
Take it Off, howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. Take it-wow! the thing has
got me by the ear! Haul him of, will
ye?'
Mrs. Spoopendyke dropped the ham
die of the net as if it were an old fash
oned bonnet and gazed upon her hus-
band in CONSERVATION.
Cast the crab" yelled Mr.. Spoo-
oendyke, tearing the net away. t.Let
20, We brute! Wah-ha" and the unfor-
innate man wrenched the fish from off
MS ear and dashed it in the bottom of
he boat. whats your scheme in do |
ng that?' he demanded, holding his |
Ear with one fist and Shaking the other
It his wife. Think you've got to eat |
EN- right out of the waterP Got a no.
ion that he come up cooked and you
must down him quick or he'll spoil?''
relied Mr.. Spoopendyke, enraged be-
yond all control by the sight of the car
lage that trickled down his fingers.
'What'd We mean by it?" and he sprang
INTO the air and alighted on the unhap-
y crab, slipped up and sprawling full
ength in the bottom of the boat.
WAS that a crab, dear?'' asked Mrs.
'poopendyke, assisting her husband to
rise and contemplating the mangled
ssh with anything but favor. us that
Vhat you call crab? thought
You thoughtr' ripped Mr.. Spoopen-
yke, kicking at the bewildered crab.
That's the trouble with you-you
hink! Did We think was going to
tand here and let that crab chew on
ny ear till his legs achedP Praps ye
bought he was whispering to me! May
e We thought he was telling me fun
y story Well, he wasn't, and if he was
is voice was so hoarse couldn't enjoy
)! Ye thought, did YER squealed Mr..
poopendyke. his wrath rising as the
ain and fear subsidized: s.thought crab
alked with his toes like some women
hink. did We! Oh, you thought HIhad
uch q head as that I'd fit it up with
buck beds and stick of gum and start
female boarding school! With your
bility to think. you only need squint
nd four long words to be Concord
chool of philosophy and Mr.. Spoo-
endyke plunged the oars into the wa
pr and began to row vigorously.