Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1882-12-13
NO. 5


aEaSH&phS OH sthh SOEESs
The forger is locked up simply for
writing wrong.
When the button comes off the back
of mans shirt, his choler begins to
rise
3 The biggest 'hoopin politics is made
Z of course, for the man with the biggest
bar'l
! Cats are musical because their in-
sides are composed mostly of fdd'e-
! strings.
Mr.. Edison's patents now numL,r
1896; more than were ever granted to
one man before.
There is a man in England who
gained over so pounds in one week.
He bet on the winning horse.
The Thanksgiving novelty was the
turkey that could be cut without re-
sorting to pick-ax or "a cross-cut saw.
A little fellow, who had never eaten
frosted cake, asked at the table for
piece of that "cake with plastering on
it.n
| OuO ANcW OIh muhIudu has Ueeu
fined eleven times for adulterating his
goods. and yet his cry is for "more
water"
Ben Franklin said that soft words
butter no parsnips, yet they have help
ed elect many man to Off ,e for all
that.
A caustic wit, in speaking of an i'm
pecunious friend, said: ''He settles
his debts just like clock-work tick,
tick, tick"
Patrick, were You a miner when
you landed in America ?" as the natur-
alization officer. "No,- your honor; I
was bricklayer.
Only about one out of every ten ne
gro cabins in the South has windows.
When the occupants want any day
light they walk out of doors.
A French physician says that raw
oysters and chicken soup will nourish
any girl through at least six disap-
pointments in love.
Sandusky, O., has a ,,citizen who can
cure balky horse in eight minutes.
He must be slow to take that time to
break horses neck.
Philadelphia citizens are very we'll
liked at home, judging fror, the re-
wards offered for their return when
they leave the city.
"What becomes of old pianos?" asks
the Yonkers Gazette. Then you have
never travelled on a steamboat or visit
ed an orphan asylum, eh?
1.-The proper study of mankind is
Man." Pope knew better than to say
woman" Woman is too deep a
study for anybody to undertake
A Cincinnati dairyman is charged
with biting off the tips of his horses
ears. This is something unusual in
the way efshowing love for horsefesh.
Three thousand dollars had been
spent to educate her in music, Latin,
French and drawing, and yet she wrote:
"Send six yards of played goods by
the bearer"
You never know how much water an
umbrella is capable of containing until
you accidently stand it against the
wall and on the the pearl colored car
pet that costs So yard.
A book called Button on partner
ship" is advertised 1t would require
more than one button to hold some
partnerships together. A paddock on
'em woidn't do it
How have the mighty fallen 2"
Well, some slip on a banana skin,
some use the money of the bank for
speculation, and fail in connection,
and others fall in coal shutes after
dark
The yield of sugar in Louisiana this
year, as estimated by the Sugar Plan
ters' Association, is 100000 hogheads.
This is but a'small part of the sugar
consumed in the country but the
whole people are taxed some forty
millions year to support the industry.
The Minneapolis Tribune says that
goats are the best land-cleaners known.
1t mentions that a herd of 1000 er-
tirely cleared a piece of brush land,
consisting of about 500 acres. in thr Q
years. SO complete was the wok
that not vestige of underground was
left
A grade Jersey -year-old cow
which Yields TWEEN -one quarts of milk
per day on grass alone is an animal to
brag Of An account of her says that
can even ten quarts of her milk set
two days and then stirred just t8o
minutes yielded, plump weight,
pound and balf of butter"
Nebraska was the first State that made
legal holiday for the purpose of
planting trees. Since the work OF
tree-panting began there, a grand
total of $4,000, 900 trees, according to
Trustworthy statistics, have been set
out, and these are now shading lOO,-
600, acres of her prairie soil, to the
great benefit of agriculture and the en-
) richment of the State.
For Farm BOystO Learn.
From aswestern paper we extract
, the following practical remarks; they
, will be very useful to everyone on a
farm: How many of the boys who
, read this could clay off, al acre OF
! ground exactly, providing one OF the
! dimensions was given them? Now.
"Hoe Handle" likes to be useful, and
: he has taken some pains to make out
: table, and | would like that every one
of the farm boys learn it. There are
100 square rods in an acre, and there are
3OI square yards in one rod. This
gives 4,S4O square yards in one acre.
5 yards wide by 96S yards long acre.
Id yards wide by 4S4 yarls long acre