Daily Republican., 1882-01-11
BREvITIES.

| BREvITIEs.
0Ua flso0 q 1.2Q. .........Eun sstsA 10
For cut flowers, 70 to 400 King street.
Best family coal st o22 ". front street.
ChrOmos in gilt and walnut frames s9c
Try Bradford's Ready Mixed Cottage
Colors.
The cheapest roof paint, st Bradford's s
Paint Store.
A selfsufacient man is wise in his own
lcan'tsee-it,
Clean and polish your furniture with Brad.
ford's Furniture Polish.
For the best spring wheat flour, 20 to Kim
ble's Front and Madison streets.
Paint your houses with pure Kent Lead,
ground by James Bradford.
MulIin has full stock Of tobacco and ci-
gars, at West Front street.
| Fine IL X. Plain Gold Rings, at Z. u
HAMS, is East Fourth street.
Use the Crown 4 xle Grease, the best In tho
| market, at james Bya6ford's.
Get your photographs at Hollands gallery
No. Third street, two doors East of Market.
Slime card photographs for 81, atHolland's
gallery, No. Third street, between Market
and King.
The impecunious man who married an
heiress, always spoke Of her as a capital
wife.
When you are sick and want to get well,
buy your medicines at Wslton's, 235 n arket
street.
Although this is 1882 It ought by this time
be familiar with every one. Two years ago
| was 1850 too.
For bargains In furniture and bedding, xo
to l.. +. Adair's 20T Market street and see
his goods and learn his prices.
Rober Ingersoll should devote the balance
Of his Ii e to devsing fire scape for practi.
cal use IN the sweet bye and bye,
Ifyeu want a first class parlor suit made
to order for low price, 70 to W. W. Wood
wards, sixth and Tatnall streets.
II you have friend who is too fond of the
intoxicating bowl, send him pair Of cOrsets.
He may accept the gift as hint to bread up.
"Do as ye would that men should do unto
you" is a glorious recipe. Ia this the reassn
why women kiss each other when they meet?
yRAzEn AxLn sRlAsH.
Ono greasing with Frazer Axle Grease will
last two weeks, all others two to three days
try 1t, 1t received first premium Ut the Oen.
oennial and Paris Exposition.
Germany ha, solved problem for us In
this country more girls marry at 35 than 10
Now we know why all girls of 35 remain 10
for so many years they don't want hus-
bands.
Frank Hutton. proprietor of the Burlington
Hawkeye, once printed and entire edition OF
his paper on white satin, by way OF compl
ment to General Grant and now Frank is
assistant postmaster general.
A brave blue-coated patrolman,
A thoroughbred Milesian patrolman,
Who Is never on his beat
II there's a row 90 the street
A guardian Of the peace" patrolman.
Classical instructor In Latin Miss f.. Of
what was Ceres and g0dness?" Miss B.,-I
".Sne was the goddess Of marriage" In
structor :-"Uh, no ; of agriculture. " Miss Il.
docking perplexed) )-"Why, AIN sure my
book says she was the goddess fhusbandry.
When Miss Calender, afterward MIS-.
Sheridan, published novel. the hero of
which commits forgery, that wicked wit, Sid
ney Smith, said he knew she was a Callen
der, but did not know till then that sh WI
Newgate CallenderI
An excha rye prints long receipt explain.
ing how to pretuu dwelling. It's too ex
pensive, The quickest and cheapest way to
perfume dwelling Is to fry piece of cd fish
or roast a few onions. They 20 right to the
spot, and linger around it for a considerable
period.
An American tourist was visiting Naples,
and saw Vesuyius during an eruption.
"Have you anything like that in the New
World - was the.question Of an Italian spec.
tator.
mo" replied Jonathan ; b1t guess we
have a mill dam that would put It out in five
minutes"
Papa" remarked the infant terrible, who
was mounted on the back Of the old gentle
mans chair engaged in making sketches ON
his bald he ad, lit wouldn't do for you TO fall
asleep in the desert, would it?' why not,
my darling" "Oh, the ostriches might sit
down on your head and hatch 1t OUT
There is q wellknown story Of the ruin.of
London luncheon shop by spiteful and
envious rival. The latter hired boy to enter
the successful shop exactly at the time when
it was most crowded, and lay on the counter,
before the eyes of all the wondering and hori-
fed guests, dead cat. THAT makes nine.
ma am" said the brazen-faced urchin, as he
deposited his burden and left the shop. What
avail were protestatlons OF innocence from
the indignant president of the counter The
plot had been carefully laid, and 1t resulted,
as was expected, In a stampede Of the diners,
to return no more.
read to her. one summer day
A little Hydrologic story
About the maid who laughed At love,
And ran a race for love and glory.
| closed the book. She raised her eyes,
And hushed the song she had been hun
ming;
Glancing across the shady lawn,
saw my wealthy rival coming.
''These ancient tales she gravely said.
with meaning wise are often laden
And Atalanta we'll may stand
AS type of many modern maiden
Minus, Of course, the classic scandal.
But with no less of nimble grace,
How many dainty slipperd feet
Are running now that selfsame race
"And when HiPpomenes cast down
His golden apples, is there ever
A chance for love 10 reach the goal"
With saucy smile, she answered. Never!
rose to go-she took my hand
q Fate you ne'er that clasp can sever)
And "Stay," she said, with sudden blush,
"You know tn VI meant,-'hardly ever"