Richland beacon., 1882-02-25
PLEASANTRIES.

A fnjl hand-lTack Fal,,af ; belt .-.
4 ,wo foot rule-Keep your feet dry.
4 sage hcu--One that avoids 'he hawk.
4 Chinese belle in Canton i named Ting
ah>Lng. 80.
/ Cheap men and accordeons are NOISY on all
OCCASIONS. -. ~. -.
I /, j, pIway- ',us;us hot with ;hc hornet
pcrrolt Free Pres, ...':.....
Tie nyh,kcy Stays more men than the
musk.t- Detroit Free Press. e..
I Never Judge man 10y ms clothing. Hl>
IA, Tor may lave d stnt against him.
An. old lady wants TO know what Is meant
Ly mean Tune" Our ciocd Seeps H.
Friction matches may be described as those
made without the consen, Of the Of folks
No, Chicago girl, have four stca " bcaux
and an extra one for Saturday maune's-
Free Press.
CarInal Newman says that a gentleman is
one who never iuillct> PAM then no den'Is'
can be- gentleman.
TIE farmer that ran rapidly through In
properly WOit 'ON 04''''' "'' ~ "
die bull behind HIM.
Did Noah's hen lay over he deck New
York News. No. Just beneath llaichway..
New Haven Register.
A taste for music, when exhibited by young
persons, is certainly commendabe, but don
start them oil with drum.
The mule is no, usually regarded as susN
ceprible to pathetic emotons. And yet lac
occ;sio nally drops Il mulc-teer.
The good die Yong. The bad live 10 lie
about the weather, and are spoken oi rs Tie
oldest inha bI,ants. -Picayune.
al We been heron bad things about you, said
one big bird to al other. Let, sIoTk about
something else, was the response
Tutor in mechanics III a body meet a
body" Sopho mere On an undertone, ne
! chanic-ally): Coming ,brougo the rye.
There is a story told Of fine old Cornish
squire who drank brandy only on Two occa-
,ions-when he had goose for dinner, and
when he had not. -.-
Roman punch : 80 called because it is made
of rum, something entirely unknown Il the
| hJfflafs.- nv SUM- N"'' ~ >
of Roman noses-Free Press.
Why is il that whenever you are looking for
ANYTHING You always find IT III the last l. a'e
You look The reason is because you all" ays
stop looking when you find H.
At tie opera in Dublin gentleman sarcas>
tically asked a man standing up IN iront oil
him if he was aware lie was Opaque. he
~. md Satl l,.t k.tS
UBncn.
A Western editor received letter from
subscriber asking him To publish cure ior
apple tree worms. He replied that he could
not suggest a cure until he knew what a'led
the worms.
Grea, Truths are often said in the fewes,
words Albany Argus DO you mean the
remark OF the Indian who, on sitting upon
wasps' nest, arose aud remarked Heap
hell!'-Boston Post.
Sophia, sen,imen,ally: Il dearly love To lis
ten To the ticking OF clock. IL seems 10 me
tina, clock has a lang age oi l. own. vi.
Smart: "Yes. Sophia, tie clock has Ian
guoge-you NIGH, say, dial ect
The great American punsters must lie of
! >lelEhfhliIp' VI otc W "cn' "uo ~ -. 1850
the bride of the son OF the New York Times
proprietor was for nerly Caldwell and now Is
called Jones.-PhiIadeIphi News.
Father" said an inqnisi,ive boy, "wlIa' Is
meant 10y close relations g Close relations
my son, replied the father, "are relations WHO
never give you cent The hoy sad th'
old man, then, was the "closest relation he {
got.
IL inst went ont 10 see a friend for mo
men,,r remarked Jones TO his wife az he re
turned to hi, seat in the thea'cr. "lndeed,
replied Mrs. J. with sarcastic surprise. :"
supposed from the odor of your breath, tina
you had been ont to see your worst enemy
Jones WINGED.
a philosopher says "The man who laugh
is the sympathetic man" That's about III
way philosophers make donkeys of themselves
Hang it! The sympaihzmg man is the on
/, who doesn't laugh, but looks the other wa
D and doesn't pretend to see you, and gives yo
a chance TO get ap.