Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1882-07-27
New Workers Coulin't Fool Him.
How A~louNG Man FROM MAINE WAS De.
cEIvEp BY FIRST WARpHR.

He was tall, lank Yankee from the State
| of Maine. For some time he had been
sitting on a bench in the Battery Park, watch
| ing the moving vessels on the water and the
moving people on the shore. Every line of
| his sun Drowned face expressed his satisfac-
tion with himself and his willingness to
patroniZe those around when opportunity
| offered In the port side of his large and
able jaws y quid of fine cut, on which he
labored steadily, pausing only now and then
to eject stream of consequential saliva on
the pavement in front of him. Presently he
became aware OF Star representative loiter-
ing near, to whom, careless of the cold
tormality of an introduction, he thus made
know his sentiments
live ben three weeks in this town, and
I've seen all the sights. I've ben on your
sky high railway clean to the jumpin of
place ben down to Coney Island and took
in anv number of shows on the Bowery,
whar | seen some of the prettiest women In
the world. Some Of these city chaps tried to
play their pranks on me. but you can bet a
boss against heifer I'm rs fly AZ any of 'em.
and any one who think he can play any
didos over me must get up early in the morn
After delivering himself thus. he shifted
the quid in his mouth and cxpectoratea over
nearly square foot of the Battery walk, and
continued.
They say these city chaps know every
thing When left kittery they said to me
Look out. Hiram, New York 10 a wicked
city, and the people thar are all bad: they
will fool you out of your money But I'll be
gosh hanged five seen a Yorker yet that |
could not give pint TO. Why, up in
Kittery whar hail from, I'm counted the
>martest chap for twenty miles around, and
nv the great Jupiter I'd ask no odds of
Blaine himself Why, talk of Yorker
fooling me. He'd stand as much chance as
rilden would to carry the Town Council of
Bangor against old Hamlin I'd just like to
get look at the chap who thinks he can fool
this ere chicken; they may say, Shake the
havseed out of your collar but thar is none
of them can fool me; I'll tell you that"
amy man that fools you must be a good
unf" chimed in First Warder, well known
for his joking propensities, who was seated
on an adjacent bench.
''You bet your life." replied old Kittery.
"Did ! understand you to saw YOU came
from KitteryY" asked the First Warder.
That's war l KEN from, and it's the
greatest town in all creation said the man
from Maine
"a great place for shipping. suggested the
joker.
"IOu bet your life"
1--WE beat ali.,h worlA here on ships,' re-
marked tnt Joker.
MAINE is the boss Of the world in that bus
| iness," said the young man from that State.
Now let me ask you something about
ships" said the joker. Have you in all
your experience, ever seen glass shipS"
"A glass ship! Thar's no sich thing, I'll
| bet my life"
but there is said the Joker. "And, see
| ing as you're a stranger, will tell you all
about it. just behind those islands (pointing
| in the direction Of Bedloe's IslanD there Ia
anchored glass ship--all glass from keelson
to truck. She has FIVE decks. all glass ropes.
spars, strands, boats that swing from the
davits, binnacle' and everything that goes to
make a ship. is glass. She has four tiers Of
guns. twenty on ter, all Of which are glass
| Ar night, during the summer months, there is
a band OF forty. pieces that gives concerts on
instruments wlish are all glass. from the bass
| drum to the piccolo. Excursion parties from
| all over the-etate come to admire it's brillian.
cv under the rayA of the bright moon. Why.
do you know (fbnfdentially) that crowned
| heads have-come from the other side Of the
ocean to stand in amazement ut its dazzling
| splendor?"
Old Kiitery could stand no more. He
jumped from the seat, SHE'D his hat about
twenty feet in the air. let out yell that could
have been heard at Governors Island and
said
''If it costs me my life, will just take
look at that ere ship, and when get back TO
Kttery ! II have them crazy a-telli g them
| about it,"
| About 10 o'clock that night man from
Maine might have been seen looking over the
Battery wall for that joker. Some one ven-
tured TO ask him what the trouble was.
| Il paid So 80 for boat to find that glass
ship. and after pulling around the bay until
had blisters on my hands rs big a. your hat.
I asked the skipper Of passing boat where
the glass ship was anchored. He told me thai
it was low tide now, but il | would roW around
until dsybreak il would come up with the
tide. Well, / 'tumbled,' as they call it here,
and thar's no New Yorker that ever lived can
get me to any place even for million dollars.
And I'll be gosh hanged IL I bulge an inch
/ from here until the first train starts for Kit
terry then Ill leave these darn New Workers
If have to go home as freight.--N r. Star.
| DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery >
has become so thoroughly established in
public favor that were it not for the for
getfulness Of people it would not be necessary
to call attention to its power to cure con-
/ ~~txs L. = IL -