Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-06-14
NATURAL HISTORY.


From the Detroit Free Press.
Professor, what Is Dodo?'
There are several species Of the Dodo, my
son, and there used to be several more before
the fOOl-kiler cut the country up into regular
districts"
please describe some of them to me ?"
with pleasure. You Lave probably attended
Sunday school picnic given on the banks Of a
lake or river? Six fat women, two girls who
wear eyeglasses. and a very good boy who lisps,
make up party to take a ride on the water
As they are ready to shove of, the Dodo appears
and keeps them company"
what Is he like, and what does he do ?"
:" He is generally soft-headed young man
under twenty-three years of age, and he stands
up and rocks the boat to hear the fat women
scream and to induce the girls to call him
Gweorge."
docs the boat upset?"
at does"
''And is everybody drowned?''
Everybody except the Dodo. He always
reaches the shore in safety, and he is always SO
sorry that it happened. He is sometimes so
affected that it takes away his appetite for
lunch"
And is anything done with him?''
"They sometimes rub his head with cheap
brand of peppermint essence and turn him out
to grass, but no one ever thinks Of doing him
HARM"
"And the next species?"
"The next species is youth from sixteen to
twenty. He labors under what the ancients
termed the swellhead. He gets out the family
shotgun or revolver to show of. He points it
at some boy or girl to see 'em SILVER, and after
he has testified before the coroner that he didn't
know it was loaded, the affair is looked upon as
ended"
''Is this species on the increase?"
"Well, no. The friends of the victims have
got to making such fuss over these trifes that
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Dodo isn't quite
holding his own"
What is the third speces?"
1.-The third species belongs to the female sex.
or course there are two sexes of the Dodo. She
bays arsenic to kill rats, or corrosive sublimate
cockrOaches hint to skip and she leaves the
package on the pantry shelf alongside of her
baking powder. She may keep 'em separate for
two or three days, but it isn't over a week
before the family begins to lose their appetite
and hire cheap boy to 60 for doctor and a
stomach pump"
"And is she sOrry?"
'Oh, yes She didn't mean to, you know:
never thought of killing the family; always
lived happy with her husband; had entirely
forgotten that he had any life insurance; was
in hurry and didn't stop to look"
"And is there yet another species Of Dodo?''
"Several others, but we haven't the time to
take EN- in detail and give full particulars in
each case. The man who thinks the best horse
wins is DOdO. The woman who gets into
society on the strength Of her false hair small
waist, painted eyebrows, chalked cheeks and
cramped feet is DOdo. The man who thinks
he can take comfort on steamboat excursion
the man who goes on fishing excursion-the
woman who weeps over the heathen-the girl
who writes poetry on sunsets-the young man
looking for necktie to become him-the old
man who marries young wife-why, it would
take me an hour to mention them all. Put
away your books in a careful manner and we
will walk out aud see some live specimens of
the DOdO. l know of one who has engaged to
deliver Fourth OF July Grafton, and perhaps we
may get a shot at him.