Connecticut western news., 1882-12-13
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esting description of the taking of Be- bastopol given by an enthusiastic child of Marseilles in the French army. . "And that was the way" said he, "that and the other fellows from Mar seilles took Sebastopol"
 "Were there no Parisians there ?? asked son of Lutetia anxious for the fame of his city.
 "None No, am wrong-there were some Parisians at Sebastopol! Quite lot of 'em. In the bandP
 THREE TROUBLES. Three carpets hung waving in the breeze, Abroad in the breeze as the sun went down; And three husbands, with patches of dirt on
 their knees,
 Whacked whacks that were heard for miles
 up and down.
 For men must work and women must clean, And the carpets be beaten, matter how
 mean, While the neighbors do the bossing. Three housewives leaned out of their windows Of their windows raised, where the light
 streamed in;
 And they scrubbed and scrubbed, till their
 heads grew dazed,
 And their ears were filled with horrible din. For the pots will fall and kettles go bang, And boilers refuse in the attic to hang,
 While the husbands do the swearing. Three husbands went out in the haymows to
 hide
 In the haymows to hide, where their wives
 ne'er looked.
 Each said, as he rolled himself OCT on his side, q guess I will snooze, for I know am
 booked.
 For men may swear, but women may dust; And before move that stove that must
 I'll stay right here till morning" Three judges sat on their benches to judge
 Three cases that came from house-cleaning
 row.
 The parties asserted they never would budge,
 But wanted divorces fright here and right
 now."'
 So the men went of, and the women went And hereafter will do their houss-cleaning alone,
 While their former partners snicker. -Yonbers Statesman. SUCH CONCEPT.
 Peter Tag is one of the most oonceited men in Austin, although he has really no excuse for it. He was once member of the Texas Legislature, and since then he imagines he knows it all, so to speak. A few evenings ago he was present at little tea party, and the subject of per | petrlal motion came up for discussion. tLadies and gentlemen" said Peter, putting his thumbs in the armholes of his vest, and throwing himself back on his dignity, ''it's not worth while for you to try to solve that problem, I tried to make something out of it when l was member of the Texas Legislature, and l failed. so what use is there iu you worry ing your heads about it p"-1eras Sitt- ings.
 FACTS AND RANCHES. | A CASE of insanity was brought to light in peculiar manner last week in Penn sylvania While train was stopping at a station on the Central road, physician who was about to get on board observed the baggagemaster repairing trunE which seemed ready to burst in pieces. This appeared to him so curious and in explicable that he made an investigation, and discovered that the poor fellow was hopeless lunatic. .--Rochester Post-h press. ...
 SAYS the Rochester Express: "Frank James. after he is acquitted or pardoned, as the case may be, will probably take to the stage. We suggest that he play the part of the one from whose head the apple is shot, and that Frank Frayne do the shooting.
 OF the street decorations at the late review the London World says: "The prize for originality must be awarded to small natter in the Kings Road, who in @ triumphal arch inscribed the words; Welcome to the brave of old England, while immediately beneath was the in- spiriting command: Up, Guards, and hat 'em.'"
 IT is stated that in Cincinnati one hundred (1OO) hearts were made to beat as fifty (5O) on Thanksgiving Day.
 OuoTH K, "A court of common pleas Is what call my store; 5 And the pleas you hear the most are these; Good friends, please shut the door," l IF YOU meet lion just right he will drop his tail and flee, but there are SC l many chances that he will drop you in @ stead that the meeting had better be post p oned as long as possible.
 A MAN in Syracuse boasts that he has l. had 3O2 colds in the head in one year . | He'd better rent his head for an ice-box el A MAN in Tompkins County, N. Y.i r thought he had discovered the secret oi d preserving eggs, but after 120,O00 had = spoiled on his hands he concluded that hs
 hadn't.
 A MULE is unlike poor rule, becaust @ he works both ways.
 SAID five-year old 'cherub, lately J. Mamma, can I go to church to-nigh e with you?" "No, my darling" replies if the mother; CT am afraid you willy g tt to sleep" ooh, then" she said, "I vii
 be like the big men if I sleep" She wal 'e taken.