The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1882-10-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

What Adam said on beholding the
first sunrise: go West, my sun, go
WestP'
Steamships have rolling stock when
they carry live cattle. - Saturday
Night.
Some hotel clerk must have origi-
mated the expression, "There is always
room at the top
Timid persons afraid Of steamboats,
will be pleased to know that George
Decker, who made the first trip on Ful-
tons craft, is still alive and hearty.
Cheek.
Good-morning, Fred" said Brown +;
chow is your wife, better l hope?"
Eyes" replied Fred ''better but not
out of danger. The doctor calls regu-
larly every day"
AT recent sale in London medal
struck off in 1865 brought $S40. Our
readers missed a bonanza by not having
a few medals struck off that year
NorriStoe0n Herald.
A handsome London butcher stands
five times the show 20 get married that
ahandsome clerk does. 1t is awise girl
who, in looking out for her rib, sets her
stake for steak.-FTee Press
The corn husks are heavy, a sure in
dication of hard winter. If Vennor
and the veracious goose bone should
concur, as no doubt they will, it will be
wise to take your ulster out of pawn
at once.
Why does a duck go into the water?
For divers reasons. Why does it come
out? For sun-dry reasons. Why does
it go back? To liquidate its bill. Why
does it come out again? Tomake run
on the bank.
The toothpick boot is going out Of
fashion, it's said. But the broad, easy
swinging boot worn by vigorous men
of about fifty, with manageable daugh-
ters. will never 90 out of fashion, young
man, never. Keep out of its reach
NeaC HaUen Register.
Said the practical man: "You can
talk all you want to about phrenology.
/ think it is all stuff. The only i'm
portant bump ever found on my era
MUM was here-right in the middle Of
my forehead-and it was made by
baseball bat. 1 concluded to call it the
bump Of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS | didn't
know enough to get out Of the way"
"Sufferlng sisters" exclaimed the
speaker, energetically shaking the hair
pins from her head in her excitement, ,wo-
inen win never obtain their rights until
they display more courage. Let me say
to you, in the words of a famous French
orator, Courage courage courage 7
At this stage of the proceeding some
body threw a box of caterpillars upon
the platform and the meeting broke up
in great terror and confusion.
He lay in a swoon by the roadside.
His helmet was broken his visor was
cracked his gorget was tarnished with
the smoke Of battle his breastplate
was indented like a milk can his hall
berd was as dull as five-cent BARRIERS
razor the lock of his crOss-gun was
shattered his arquebuse was shivered;
his quiver shook like a canal horse with
the heaves his tabard was in shreds
his ears were off one eye was gone
his nose was out Of plumb, and his jaw
bone was paralyzed. He had been try
ing to umpire baseball game.
"Do you think so, darling?" "Yes,"
said the girl, passing her plate for more
pie and smiling archly as she spoke;
kisses and embraces and fair words
are very pleasant things-sweet lips
ant warm arms and loving eyes-but
truth and sincerity and loyalty and
purity are very much fairer
and rarer." "You are right" replied
her husband, looking at her with low
ing tenderness, "you are right, sweet
heart, and l win not deceive you any
longer" What do you meanY she
asked. a look Of horror passing over
her face. "There is but one piece OF
pie" said George w. Simpson, "and
Shall tackle it myself. ."-Chicago I'ri-
bttle.