The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1882-08-30
HE'LL LOCATED.
GREAT EXCITEMENT IN ALEXANDRIA.

On Sunday last Mr.. johnson call
cd on me after dinner. The fact is
most any time would have been after
dinner with us, because, Mr.. Editor,
in all confidence, grub was short and
we had no dinner that day. We SET
tied ourselves down on the back gal
lery, lighted our pipes-my heels on
the railing, and Mr.. Johnson, woman
fashion, with one foot under bis
knee-we felt comfortable, me in a
talking humor and Mr.. johnson in q
listening style.
ELECTION.
l said, "Mr. johnson, the election
and it's excitement are over. Dirt
has been prodigally flung. Some
garments have been bespattered. No
one looks any cleaner unless by com
parison. This is mighty poor way
of getting your washing done. Oh!
that there were amongst US more Of
that spirit which would rather raise
mortals to the sky than drag angels
down. Elections are a dirty bust.
ness when carried on in tho incest
style, and if had my way this would
be the last.
INK DRouTH.
The papers are now short of cor.
respondents, except one who signs
himself "Old Rosin Heel" He is
making things lively in the Express.
II it were not that lobe has disap
peared, be might be made to think
that he had picked up piece Of red
hot iron. Suspecting there would be
a drouth of ink after such a deluge
as has occurred l have saved some
to chronicle our pleasant little meet.
ing, Mr.. johnson.
TO THE PUBLIC.
Mr.. johnson, did you notice IN
one of the back numbers of the Dem
ocrat an article cursing me for want
of originality in that fish story' I
gave Maj. Watts credit for the joke,
but lobe, with bis usual regard for
veracity, whilst admitting that the
trick had been played tried to turn
it from himself on certain fishing
Doctor. leave this question of We.
racity without fear to the public,
who are we'll acquainted with lobe,
and have never detected him in q
truth. Not satisfied with telling q
storp he tries to shut up my mouth
by stuffing it with fisb bait and other
worms. The fact is, lobe seems to
have fish bait on the brain and needs
q dose of vermifuge. He has writ.
ten several articles advising the
/, planters to diversity their crops by
raising fish bait.
suNrLowERs.
Sometime ago I sent him a big
wasp nest and he took it to be one Of
Oscar Wilde's emblems of leonine
graddeur-a sunhower. He wen,
down town and hired q half dozen
laborers to turn his garden wrong
side up. They spaded and hoed and
raked it, then laid it of into drills.
Unwilling to. entrust it to any one
else, lobe, with his own hands drop.
ped the precious seed.
DEvILMENT.
Having much love for lobe, and
honoring his memory, must handle
him with kid gloves as kindly and
as softly as proper regard for truth
will allow me. Last night l stayed
in Town and being an early riser, 8
little before daylight l concluded to
circulate around Town and see wha,
was going on. I laid around Tobe't
neighborhood to see what devilmen,
he would be at. After little I saw
him come out rugged in the costume
which he wore at the Mardi Grat
ball, swallow tail coat, slipper shoes
and a stove pipe hat. That coat
with its narrow tail, was convino
ing proof Of
DARw1N's THEORY,
that lobe, at least, was closely al
lied with the monkey tribe. Thai
coat tail was the connecting linl
which had been so long sought for
and Darwin, if he had seen hin
would have claimed him for his own
He was fixed for church but before
going took walk into his garden te
see how his crop of sunflowers was 9
getting on. just as he stopped down
to dig into the drill to see how biz
plants were coming up, the warmth
of his body gave life to some Of the
grubs which had been left in bis
pockets, and the rising sun brough,