Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1882-09-21
A coffer-the consumptive.

and bilious attacks. BY Druggists.
Acoffer-the consumpiive.
Spain is busy with cholera.
Peacocks' feathers are again ir vogue.
To be disposed of under the hammer
"A carpet tack.
The oyster is here again. and SO R the
perennial jokes. Avs
The bookkeeper who ran up a column
of figures fell off.
Many people think Ananias was an
amateur fisherman.
A race horse. like thethe law, must al.
ways take its course.
A printer standing at the case is right
in his comp, position.
The counterfciter is easily fooled when
paid in his own coin.
In the morning a man gets up. but in
the evening he gets supper.
Beforean apple becomes cider it must
go the rounds of the press.
II silence is golden the deaf and dumb
man must bea regular bonanza.
Perhaps riches don't bring happiness;
but they bring in food and fuel.
1t is called the Greenback- Labor party.
The labor is to get the greenbacks.
The yield of wheat this year is estima-
ted at 100000, 900, bushels. IT'S wheat
news.
The latest patent spring bed is set. to
throw the seelpers out on the floor at any
hour desired.
All that glitters is not gold The heav-
lest watch chain often has silver watch
fastened to it.
Mrs. Garfield has bought the Ralph
Wellington residence in Cleveland, pay
ing $50, 900 cash.
A number of young ladies at Saratoga
are sick from drinking too much water.
None Of the men are.
Married for Life" is the title Of nov
lei by Chicago author, which is an en-
tirely new idea in Illinois.
The cost to the English Government of
setting down a full-armed British soldier
in Alexandria is about 5000.
Commissioner Dudley, of the Pension
Office, thinks, with his 1,700 clerks, he
can clear up current business inside of
three years.
After retiring from the army General
Sherman will make his home in st.
Louis, whittier his family will 20
early next fall.
When the old man came in, dropped
down beside the cradle and began crying,
"Rock and rye, baby she knew what
was the matter.
Presently some enterprising church
awakening to the fact that it is behind
the age, will discard its bell and put in a
| steam whistle.
| It is said that butter can be kept sweet
for years by dipping it in melted wax.
Even the thinnest person ought to now
know how to wax fat.
| Dennis Kearney announces that his
sympathises are entirely with Arab Bey.
| When the Khedive hears Of this he will
throw up the sponge.
Paul Boyton offers to 20 over Niagara
| in his rubber suit for S5000 In the inter-
est Of peace and quiet, it might pay to
hire him to do it,.
| What is the difference between an In
/ dian and an agriculturist? The one car
/ ries bow and arrow, while the other
carries hoe and harrow.
Innocence and childhood 20 hand in
! hand, burglars and pugilists are hand in
/ glove while pickpocets generally are hand
in some other fellows's pocket.
1t is said that Hon. Alexander H.
/ stephens. since his nomination for gov
ernor, has grown comparatively corpu-
lent. He now weighs nearly 108 pounds.
4 Here is another grain of comfort for
lovers Of the weed: A Virginia physician
4 says he has never known an habitual con-
SINNER of tobacco to have the typhoid fe-
i yer. ss
Al man In Twiggs county, Ga, Las
married four women during the past
4 fourteen months. The first three are
i'dead. II will happen sosometimes, This
man is avenging the wrongsof his sex.
4 The Ohio widow he'd an editor puff
4 her because she had made one broom last
her for seven long years. went back af-
ter week and wanted him TO Iii. and
say it was fiatiron instead of d brooan. =
4 M, Quad.
i a correspondent asks: What time Of
the year do the days beginl to short.
4 en?Y When you have note in the bank,
4 A note in the bank Is the great anffihilas
tor Of time. The days are crowded to.
| gether in thin layers and the nights arr
I ikea smear from backing brush, An.
kansas ITdeeler.
\, Miss Walnut Street, Of Philadelphia
| turns up her nose at Miss Michigan. Of
4 Chicago, at Cape May, becauseahe latter
4 says the former is stuck up" "Deal
me. lazily says the Quaker City maiden
"that Western girls feet are like the
hands of Providence--they cover every.
/ thingl''
u Fashionable Items.
\ From the Fort Wayne Gazette.l
Il Boots and shoes will be worn out