The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-03

eyes, mamma, took three bonbons
out of the drawer That was very
naughty" my child, but shall forgive
you, because You confessed it, ''Thcn
give me the other, mamma, for | really
took only two,"--LG Figaro,
The Scranton Penn.) Republican re-
lates that rs Wilkesbaire man took
his seat in the barber's chair, he asked
the barber if he had the same razor he
had used two days before. Being an
swered anirmatiyely, the patient man
said; Then give me chloroform.'
An editor living in Florida wrote, 1T
Is years since we have experienced such
thing as winter" After the paper
went to press he committed suicide, and
simply because the compositor had set
up the last word "water," instead OF
winter"
Very kind drug clerk to little girl;
"Now be sure to tell your papa to take
this medicine according TO the directions
on the bottle; an overdose might affect
his brain" Little girl -"Oh, guess
there's no danger of that for I've heard
mamma tell him lots of times he never
had any brains"
A young man who went to the circus
and stepped too near monkeys cage,
had his arm seized and savagely jerked
by one of the monkeys. lie would have
escaped safely it he had not said; at is
merely a monkey wrench but when
they heard that, the Infatuated crowd
threw him into the lions den.
A New York man went into crowd
ed car and asked if he could have the
seat which was then occupied by hat,
whose owner was sitting in the next
seat. The man, angrily Grasping his
hat, answered: Yes take it, if you're
q hog Pm so near one, that guess
that I'll take it, said the other.
What harm has the lad done you?"
asked an old gentleman, roughly collar
ing a boy who was warming the jacket
of another urchin with II bit of wild
grape vine. ale amt done me no
harm" what are You thrashing him
for, then?' Cause his father and
mother never lickS him, and I'm doing
it for charity
But why did you leave your last
place." "Och, mum. they was that
mean that there was no livin' wild 'em.
If you'll behave it. mum, twas only yis-
ter that wint Until the parlor. and there
was two Of the gurruls playing on the
one peeany and their fatherrich enough
to buy a dozen and never fale it."
a boy paid his first visit to one of the
union schools the other day. as a schol-
ar, and as he came home at night, his
mother inquired We'll, Henry, how do
You like going to schoolP' Bully he
replied, in an excited voice. II saw
four boys licked, one girl get her ear
pulled, and big scholar burned his ell
bow on the stove. | don't want to miss
aday"
A gentleman in the New York swamp
met a rather uncertain acquaintance
the other day, when the latter said: I'm
little short, and would like to ask YOU
a conundrum in mental arithmetic"
Proceed observed tho gentleman.
well" said the short man, sup
pose you had ten dollars in your pocket,
and should ask YOU for five, how much
would remain?' Ten dollars" was
the prompt answer.
A Wicklow magistrate said: when
was in danger from Kerry bull, | sat
down and stared him full in the face"
"How did it answer9" queried the
breathless bystanders. Excellent! The
Kerry didn't offer to touch me-" very
remarkable, very curious. How do you
account for itN' well, sometimes I've
thought it was because sat down on
the top branch of very tall tree" said
the magistrate.
A.Boston paragrapher, walking along
the banks OF the Nile with the Khedive,
suddenly threw the key to his carpet
sack into the noble stream. The poten-
tate looked up in surprise, and the par
agrapher Immediately asked, did YOU
see the key diver Yes, young man,
saw the key dive; but, by the beard Of
the prophet, thou shoudSt diagram thy
Jest, for Allah knows that Khcdive is
never pronounced key dive The next
steamer departing from Egypt took on
one passenger for Boston.