davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-20
Money for a Rainy Day.

For six years my daughter was sick
from kidney and other disorders. We
had used up our savings on doctors,
when our dominic advised us to try
Parker's Ginger Tonic. Four bottles
effected a cure, and as a dollars worth
has kept our family well over a year,
we have been able to lay by money
again for n rainy day."-A Poor Mans
Wife.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-20

preaching and began to search in her
memory for a text. She hesitated for a
few moments, dropped the dime in the
box, and exclaimed, triumphantly, GA
fool and his money is soon parted"
A South End man has recently OBJ
tanned a wife under false ~pretences.
Finding that as a decent, well-behayed
young mar she would not notice him,
he contrived to make her believe that
he was really a tough case, and she at
once married him to reform HIM. Wo-
men are curious creatures. Boston
Post.
Fogg has II neat way OF turning a
compliment now and then. Seeing the
elderly Miss Pangley on the street the
other day he tried to avoid her, but he
did not succeed. When they met said
Miss Pangley: "Oh, you naughty man!
You wanted to cut me-" 81 should be
cutting a pretty figure, wouldn't 1r'
Miss Pangley tells her FREUD, Miss Sage.
green, that Mr.. Fogg is a perfect gem
tleman.
The sea serpent has come around
early this season, Capt. John F. Lea
witt, of Cape Elizabeth, Me-, already
reports having seen it. He says that
it came up out of the water about five
feet, SO as to plainly show its head and
about three feet of its body. He says
it was of mammoth size, and spotted
like a snake. Captain, you forgot one
important detail. You didn't state
that its head was about the size of a
beer cask. No description OF the sea
serpent is complete witeout that point.
''What shall we do to entertain our
girls?" asks n religious exchange. A
man who needs advice as to how to en-
terrain his girls is not lit to edit a re-
ligious newspaper. We suggest that he
take one of them out buggy riding in
the afternoon, and tell her what q daisy
she is, and how insipid and fixed up
that other girl is. Then he should take
that other girl out for ice cream after
supper, and tell her confidentially how
very uninteresting and awkward the
buggy-ridlng girl is. When the two
girls meet, the religious editor can de-
pend on their entertaining each other
without his personal assistance Texas
Siftings.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-20
Nervous Debility.
A CURE GUARANTEED.

DIR. E c. VESTS Nerve and Brain Treat
ment a specific for Hysterla, Dizziness, Con
vulsions, Nervous Headache. Mental De-
preston, Loss OF Memory, SpermatorrhUR,
l~mpotency, involuntary Emissions, PremH-
lure Old Age, caused by over eNertion, self
abuse, or ov~er-indulgence, which leads to
misery, decay and death. One box Will cure
recent cases. Each box conInins one months
treatment. One dollar a box, or six boxes
for Ave dollars; sent by mail prepaid on re-
eel, I OF prices. We guarantee six boxes to
cure any case. With each order received by
us for SIX boxes, accompanied with hve dol
lars. we Will send the purchaser our writ
ten guarantee 10 return tue money II the
treatment does not effect a cure. Guar intees
Issued by George W. HoYr, Druggist 3O7
ID y Cheyenne. Wyo. Ter. Orders by mall
at regular price. n9dawly.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-20

Done promptly, at reasonable rates, in
the LEADER job office. tt
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-20
SIMMONDS NABOB
PURE
Kentucky Bourbon Whisky

Kentucky Bourbon whisky
WILL CURE NERVOUSNESS,
Debility, Indigestion, Fever, Weakness,
Dyspepsia, Chills, etc, etc. Has been
sold in all the Eastern States and given
universal satisfaction. 1t is highly
recommended by the Faculty for all
classes of Fever and Ague, Nervous
ness, Weakness, Debility, Dyspepsia,
Indigestion, etc. 1t is now introduced
to the public of the Pacific Slope, in
dorsed by the certificates Of the emf
nent DIR. S. Dana Hayes, the State
Assayer of Massachusetts,; and DR.. H.
G. Louderback, of st. Louis, Missouri
both gentlemen prominent in their pro-
fession, and which is a guarantee to all
buyers, of its purity and quality. l can
show thousands of letters from persons,
from all parts of the Union and Cana
da, to testify to its merits and the ben
eft it has afforded as a family remedy
and tonic.
GEO. W. HOYT,
Sole Agent for Cheyenne and vicinity.
None genuine unless my signature across
the cork-G. SIMMONDS.
Shipments made direct from fhe dlstillerJ
in Kentucky. dldaw3m
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-20

for the teeth prevents decay and hard
ems the gums. Sold by Dare 81 Collins,
successors to Addoms & Glover. 23otf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18
SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 49,
COMMISSION mERCHANTs

CDss Nh sSsEOA MERCHANTS.
VT 4. JoHNsoA & CO..
WHOLESALE GEOORRS,
9ENEEAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
And Deslers in
ALL KINDS OF LIQUORS.
Have on hsndGIRSOr SIX XXX, xxx
and PURE OLD RYE. OLD CABINBT
snd MONOGRAM WaISKlES; also BAB.
ER'S and THOM PSON'S PUkR BYE
WhlSRi KS, TO which they invite the attention
Of the trade.
Orders from the country for uaarchsndiBe shall
tecalve prompt sttentou
Consgnmen!s OF Flour, Grsin and Country
Produce solicited, for which they guarantee the
'ighest market price, Lnd prompt returns.
Sorthsssi eG7Ier ci Camaron ana Gossl sts ,
tle1.ndris, Va. sepl4
'THoAas PzAAY,
9ENEAAL COIMlS9EoN MERCHANT
DEAL.E II FLOUR, FISH, SALT, AND
FERTILIzER.
Glso Agsls for
WATTS RiCHHOND D CAST and CHILLED
FLCW3.
febi9-tf ALEXANDRIA,. VA
s. B. FIsEER. @. VIM. FISHER.
fTlSHER s. BROS.,
(Succossoss 70 Fisher, Ross s. Co..
GRCChES, LIQUOR AND COM MMIS3ICN
&ERCH ANTS,
No 70 Cameron street, Alexandra, vs.
Special attention given 10 ths sale Of country
DIoduca, poultry. &C jsnGltf
lNAAS =. TAYLOR, Jr.,
COMMISSION MEnOaAAT,
Assnt for ~
J. u. FICkLEN & SOE'S REIDGEWGTRR
FLOUR
WHOLESALE an ID RETAIL FEED
DEALEK snd CUTTER OF Gay.
Prompt attention given 10 all orders both from
cisg and country.
23 KING STREET,
l:rl2 AioIsndris, Vs.
2 Ail5:DE Il Shf ,I'lf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

H'HENCH AND TURKISH PRUFE5 just
4 = received by [decl5l J. 9. MlLBUtk.
E>i ORIDA ORANGES just received by
dec2 j. &. Mile.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18
Op sning and Closing OF the Malls

Opsning and Closing OF the Malls
CLOSING,
Washington, D. O., and Northeastern mails 8
.. NJ, II m. and and q Is p. NJ.
Western mails 4 30 and is p. m.
Southern mails, via Richmond, Va, 10 30 ..
n. and 80 and ID p. N.
South and Southwestern mails, via Lynch
ourg. Virginia, way and through mails. o. q.
n. and W p. m.
Manassas Division 90 q. N.
Alexandria to Round Hill Va, Coz. m
OPENING,
Northern and Western mails via Washing.
on, D. c., 8 80 q. m. u N. and 6 00p. r
Southern mails, vis Rich mond, Va, L 30 .. m
md 80 .. m.
Southwestern mails via Lynchburg, Virginia
Through mAils) including way mails on Midland
Railroad. 8 80 g. N.
Manassas Division I 80 D. m. for lock box only
Round Hill to AleIandria, Va, 30 p. m.
Office Hours-Offce opens ut 8 80 .. M, Ant
closes At 90 p. nj.
Sunday Hours Office opens 1t 8 As 4. NJ, and
,'oses at 9 30 .. m.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

RLAlRS GLYCERInE AND QUlNINE
~ HAIR TONIC will prevent the hair from
ialling out ard promote its healthy aud rapid
growth. 70. s.le by
dec5 WAKEFIELD &FsJI,.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

USE RIVERSIDE PURIFIED WHIsKEY fc
medical purposes only So per gallon.
GEO. MoBURNEY & Sos, Agents.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

AkA1E3 FOR CHRISTIANS PRESENTS
\, ~ tor sale at low prices a. SS King st. corneI
dtcl4 1T CREIGHTON & SON.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

SLEDSl SLED>l SLEDS! We have 10 store
~ 'nd for sale at low prices nice line Of sleds.
MCLEAN s. UHLER.
jan5 r6 King street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18
gMtA 4u/tqeSS

Alexandra, Vs., August 4. 1881.
About 10 months ago / WAS consid er ably
troubled with . constant desire to urinste. On
the Recommendation of Captain J. q. Graham 1
began to use Warnet's Safe Kidney and Liver
Gore, and it has effec!ed an entire Gu in my
CASE
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18
TRUTH ATTESTED.
lSome Important Statements OF Well Know
People Wholly Verified I

LSome important statements OF Well Known
People Wholly Verified
In order that the public may folly raalzs th g
genuineness of the statements, IS we'll AZ the
power ano value of the article Of which thby
speak, We publish herewith the fac simi!e signs
lures of parties whose sincerity is beyond ques.
ton. The truth of these testimonials is absolute,
nor can the facts they announce be ignored.
Ale1andris, Va, August 4, 1881.
was thrown from my horse or , cars ago,
snd suffered tevere wound of the side, which
WAS aggravated by 6isordered kidneys. Bleven
months sgo wss attacked with pneumonia and
blsc der disease deposits of brick dust end albu.
men being discernable by the naked eye. I was
confined 10 the house for six months. srd wss
unable to cross the floor without assist,ncs. My
ply ysician did me no good. Having read in my
religious weeklies OF the wonderful cures By
Your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure, and heia 2
advised to use it by Captain Graham, did 90,
and am oLce more able TO walk the streets. NY
pains have left me. aud ! believe If had used
the remedy a year ago lshcu'd then s!so have
been cured.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

ShATHSi SIX ATKSl SKATES The Amer
~ lean Club. New York Club, the "Acu Q"
AND line OF Wool Top Skates, wholesale and
retail at
decl3 LAS.F CARLIN Il GONS,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

SSlLVEK WHITE" expressly for cleaning
~ and. polishing silver and plated ware; re-.
commended By ell the leading jewellers; for sale
py L. l.. ADAM,
dfcl6 fS King street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

Thousands of euually strong endorsements
n any of them in cases where hope was sb and on.
ed-hsve been voluntarily given showing the
remarabla power OF Warmers Safe Kidney aud
Liver Cure in all diseases OF the kidneys. liver
or urinary organs. If any one Who reads this
has any physical trouble. rtmsmber the great
danger Of delay. dec23
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18
HEALTH is WEALTH.

DR.. Z. O. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREAT.
AENTi specific fo. hysteria, Dizs'neas, Con.
sion, Loss of Memory Spermatorrhe.. Impo.
tency, Involuntary Emissions, Premature ('ld
Age cauaed by over. exertion, self abuse, or over
indulgence which leads to misery, decay and
death. One box will cure recent Gases Each
box contains one months treatment One dollar
: box. or Elk boxes for five dollars; sent by mail
prepaid on receipt of price We guarantee six
boxes to cure any case. With each order re-
ceiYed By US for six boxes. accompanied with
five dollars, we will send the purchaser our writ.
ten guarantee to return the money il the treat.
ment does not effect cure Guarantees issued
Va, Wholesale aud retail agents Orders bv
mail will receivs prompt attention mar
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-02-18

RIVERSIDE PURIFIED WBIsKEY free ftCn
all impurities OiIy SO q gallon.
GEO. McBURNEY & Son, Agents,
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
n B. CRANE,
NE, :.
A dTTORNEY At Law,

Heal Estate and Collection Agent. Taxes paid for
aoh'fes1deDts. sE Office I'd fl ,or CT Dunkelman's
new block, Main street. 1917
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
SOCIETIES..

I.oo.r:
>>ssyusv>, The regular meetings of Austin
A2I&E Lodge, No. ~, are held in their han
S@ every Tuesday evening. Odd Fellows
aaN*$Ss~ from other juri-dictions. whose busi-
ness may lead them t. Aus in, are cordially inyi ed
to visit us. w. H. BIITIOCK n n
A. DETTELBAcH, Secretary.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
nj Rs. o. L. AMES.
~. NJ. HOWE,
LATE REGISTER or DEEDS.

Has complete Abstract Of title to all the Real Es
aate IN Mo"e c,unty. Viii examia4 titles. pav
mans block. ;nn9N
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
BRoWNspALE.

"E1sER & sHORTT,
REAL ESTATE & COLLECTION AGENTS
Oonveyancers and Nota-ies Public, Brownsdale.
Ann: improved and wild lands for sale in Mower
and Dvdge countess TITLES examined and tares
paid for non. residents. iun9O
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
T ,AFAYETTE FRENCH,
ATTORNEY LAW

Austin, MINI. Collections and other busin.ss IT.
tended to carefully and promptly. Agent OF ,he
Astna d other Fra Insurance companies once
Bank bllck. ,nnon
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03

r. NJ. CAMERON,
ATTORNEY At Law
And Real Estate Agent. Collect:o ons made and
taxes paid: ONE, north side Public Square, in
brick building, Austin, Mian.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
pAILWAY HOUSE.
HALL t. HAY

reoprle.ors. Ra>es, $500 per day. G nod Sam 7ls
cry iree OF charge: Up town ,nnect by tele.
lnone at Ctmmer 4 p o'er's Austin. MINI.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03

STATE Gaa6}E OF N %t1MNSSEserA'}ss. MSTsS'
We the undersigned Commissioners of Mower
County do hereby certify that the foregoing is II
correct statement of the receipts and expenditures
ofsaid County, from the 2sth day of February, 1881,
to the LIST day Of March, 1882.
w. B. MITSON,
Chairman Board Co. Commissioners.
Attest H. w. ELMS,
Auditor Mower County.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
B. JOHNSON, JR,
ATTORNEY At L4W.

austin, Mitn. &C icss in all the courts r IN
s'ase: : rompt attention give to Collecting. OF
o o'1' 'no Ao"e C'un B.nk. juu2O
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
r NJ. GREEN NAN,

NJ. GREEN NAN,
ATTORNEI- At LAW.
Will practice ! / the c. u .ts # record and tho IT
Aus in, Aiinn. A' !" "u ~ sree'' '
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
PED EDAR MILLS.
j. GREGSON.

manufacturer and Wholesale De Ter in the hoo.
brands OF Grscers' and Bakers' Flo,r, Also ali
KINDS OF Mill Feed for sale at his store on Ma;n
south OF the city
nj Rs. o. L. AMES,
tOr b tier known as MRS. TOPL1FF.) is back to
Anstln, TO attend to all calls ~ MIDWIFE. dav ~
nignt. She ls the rgl; womaa IN the right pisc,
Box oil. ' - W.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
BUSINESS CARDS.
MCDO .;ALD. NJ. D. on

A MoDo ,;ALD, NJ. D., O.M,,
,, orAdnats OF McdiA Medical college. " n.resl,
hi oc cu IN Aus II for he lrp Of prscti ing
oen'e south side Public Squire, where ull day and
nlsht cal 8 will be promptly responded to.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
T A. BATES,
MANUFACTURED AND DEALER
LIGHT AND HEAVY CARRIA GES

Makes these goods to order in lip top satisfactory
manner. Dexter and side bar buggie. a specialty
Fac ory northeast corner of public square, Au tin,
Minnesota. AO1.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1882-05-03
Ru11ocK PIERCE,
BARRIERS d HAIR DRESSERS.

hooms under Mower County Bank, Main street,
Austin, Mian. Satisfaction guaranteed or no pay
All branches Of the busine conducted in the most
or cod-att .ehed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-04-14
Sun Disturbances.

Once in about eleven years the sun
takes on his present sun-pot phase, and
we are approaching the maximum Of
disturbance. No one knows the cause
Some believe that it is planetary attrac-
ton. some that it is the fall of great
masses of meteoric matter and some that
it is the result of internal lcommOtiOn and
the upward rush of gaseous explosions.
in comparison with which our tiercest
volcanic eruptions are but the flicker of
flame. Besides the sun-spot agitation
the gaseous Outbursts are marked and
vivid. The tongues or rosy prOtuber-
ances are darting forth in all directions
and bear their testimony to the solar
commotion. Mr.. TrouvclOt, of Cam
bridge, who is making daily observa-
tons of the suns chromosphere.
gives a description of a remarka-
BILE solar protuberance that he witnessed
lately. When first seen it WAS large and
complicated, extending upward from the
Gun about 100000 miles. Three or four
hours later It had developed into huge
proportions, extending far out into
space, and vanishing gradually into re-
gions where it would not be perceived.
/ As nearly as it could be measured, it
reached height of over quarter of the
suns diameter. or about 235, 900 miles.
Such protuberance hurled upward
from the earth would almost reach the
moon Two hours later the whole struc.
ture had collapsed, and was only about
$4,000 miles high. Observations like
this give an idea of the mighty forces al
work in the solar orb. and make OBJ.
servers long for the time when a salts
factory solution may be found for these
periodical solar disturbances, 30 init
mately connected with the meteoro
logical condition of the earth.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-04-14
The Railroads and the Farmers.

Colonel w. +. Villas, the famous Wis
consin orator, delivered the annual adj
dress before the Minnesota State Fair,
snd the Farmers" and tried to point
out their reciprocity of interest. A few
extracts from his admirable speech will
interest the reader:
Before railroads were devised, there
was no extensive freight communica-
tion but by water. And that was value
less unless conveniently accessible.
From this the agriculture of past ages
gathered around the seas and lakes, or
lined the rivers margin. 1t girt the
Mediterranean, and made famous the
valley OF the Nile. The unwatcred
world of the interior was left TO the
wandering nomad or the forest bar
barian. 1t was the unknown region full
of mysterious terrors. The great Her.
cynian wood was the home of
beasts, brute and human, the lat
ter the ever impending peril. and
of the world. The reserve corps of
barbarism lay back on the plains of
Russia and Tartary. which nourlshed
the fierce savages who could live on
equine flesh and carouse on the milk of
mares. So, too, water communication
was slow and tedious, even when ac-
cessible. That is true, especially of in
land navigation. 1t is weeks by water
from St. Paul to New York, though the
aid of steam be invoked; and in north
ern clmes navigation is available for
but half the year. Your magnificent
wheat fields would mostly be unbroken,
farmers of Minnesota, had not the in-
vention and enterprise of other men.
stimulated by your demands. laid the
double-lined highway by which the
freight car bears your precious berry
to the sea, and the Indian would still be
master of the Territories of the West.
Your lands derive their value, your
industry its reward, your homes the
luyuries and many of the comforts they
exhibit, from the well-abused railroads
of the continent.
"But while we do them Justice. let us
not forget there are doubtless many
faults to be corrected and abuses to be
reio:uled in the al ninistralion of these
highways. Corporate powers and cor
pOrate values have advanced with a
more rapid step than the invention of
oar statesmen and law makers. The
agency OF the corporation is compara-
| lively modern. and. like the agency OF
steam, is a mighty power. Unless SUBJ
dued by proper appliances of law suili-
cient to control it we arc liable to Dis
asters IS runous to our welfare as the
accidents which sometimes befall the
train are destructive of life.
''But | must not protract this weary
hour to discuss this problem foreign to
my subject. Important as it is. we
need not fear it. The railroad, rightly
used. is the friend of the farmer and
the whole people. 1t is the paramount
| interest of its owners that it should so
remain. They dare not make it an
enemy, and when we reflect that q
single invention n-the steel rail-has re-
duced the freight tariff forty per
ceatum. we may trust somewhat to
time and genius to relieve the incon-
veniences, and continue to enjoy its
blessings with composure.'
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-04-14

Fried cakes, when properly made,
need not be looked down upon by people
who disapprove of lard. Take one cup
of sugar, one cup Of sweet milk, one
teaspoonful of soda or saleratus, two
teaspoonfuls of cream of tartar, two
eggs, three tablespoonfuls of lard flavor
with cinnamon or nutmeg; a half-tea-
spoonful of ginger may be added if
desired. Beat the sugar and lard to.
gether till light. then add the well-beaten
eggs; mix the dough as soft as you can,
and then roll it out nicely; put in q
little flour at time till the dough is
stiff enough. Have the lard in which
the cakes are to be fried very hot. Its
taken for granted that the lard is as
clear and sweet as you can get. Before
putting any of the cakes into it take a
bit of the dough and drop in to test its
heat; if it rises to the top instantly the
lard is hot enough. Then put in few
cakes at time; watch them closely,
and turn them over without piercing the
cake with the fork or whatever you use
to turn them with.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-04-14
HUMOROUS.

-" Another lost tart" as the boy sad
ly remarked when the pastry slipped
from his hand into the gutter. Yonkers
Gazette.
How happy the Man looks. He is
going to have his Picture taken to send
to his Girl. Poor girl! how sad her
Christmas will be.-Chicago Tribune
Primer.
-" Papa remarked the enfdnt ter
rible. who was mounted on the back of
the old gentleman's chair engaged in
making crayon sketches on his bald
head. "it wouldn't do for you to fall
asleep in the desert, would it?" "Why
not. my darlins?" "Oh. the ostriches
might sit down on your head and hatch
it Es'ookiyn Eagle.
The Girl is at the Gate. A young
Man is coming down the Lane. The
Girls papa is Sitting on the Front
Porch. lie is very Old. He has Raised
q Family of Eleven children. What is
the Poor old Man Thinking about, and
why Does he Gaze SO Intently at his
Right Boot? Maybe he is Thinking
about Raising the Young Man who is
Coming down the Lam. .-Denrer 7rib.
une Primer.
When an Austin schoolmaster en-.
tered his temple of learning fewporn.
ings ago, he read on the blackboard the
touching legend: "Our teacher is 6
donkey" The pupils expected there
would be combined cyclone and earth
quake, but the philosophic pedagogus
contented himself with adding the wort
''driver' to the legend, and opened the
school with prayer as usual.-Ieras
Sytings.
A New York correspondent says
Jay Gould, the millionaire, leads hart
life; has "nO leisure, no society, ne
| reading. no recreation" 1t is a sac
case. And we don't suppose it would
do any good if few newspaper mer
were to chip in few thousand dollar.
apiece and present the money to Mr.
Gould to enable him to take few
months holiday. Put yourself in hi.
place. Herald.
-Deadwood women must have al
exceedingly keen sense of humor. Las
week a claim jumper, who failed t.
leave town when notified by vigilanc,
committee, was officially shot at twenty
six times by that body. After he hat
been hit by nineteen of the bullets. b,
hid behind hogshead of sugar, whicl
the crowd amused itself by Showing
over his PROSTATE form. Wien the de
ceased was rolled up and sent home
his wife almost died laughing. Sh'
said the remains looked like thre
yards of porous plaster.-San Francis
co Post.