Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1882-06-24
SpooPENDYkE.
He Wanted His Waterproof and no S1cceed-
ed IN Getting it.
IroolrlvY1 Jla1le

ne W0nI60 MS HutSfpf'UOg Affd ~ ~~~~~~
ed IN Getting II.
Brooklyn Eagle.
MY DEAR said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
pulling the shams off the bed,
where Is my-my, where is my
YOU know what mean. What did
you do with it?'
Your shall-strap?' asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dropping the baby
into the crib. 'Oh, | know; your
dumb bells. Is that what you
want p
HAS that shall-strap got sleeves in
it p demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
ransacking the sewing machine.
Are those dumb-bells split up the
back and torn around the collarE
You know what / want, my rub
ber oyercoat. Where did you put
it?' and Mr.. Spoopendyke pulled
pile of letters out of the pigeonhoie
of his wife's desk and spilled them
along the floor.
where did you have it las" !"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, with
her finger in her mouth and conster-
nation in her eye.
Had it ONT growled Mr.. Spoop-,
endvke. 'Where'd yes s'pose |
had it? Think I had it for lunch?
Don't YOU know where the measiy
things gone to? Spry around now
and find it! Take your finger out
of YOUR mouth, / don't suppose it's
in there! Get that coat before 1t
clears uu. will yep and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke shook the. CLOCK anu lhen
peered into the mantel vases.
Il don't believe it's going to ram
much anyway faltered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, who couldn't remember
having seen the coat for month.
sWhen it looks like this it's al
ways going to sunshine and she
followed him around the room In a
fiutter of apprehension. ,
tOf course it isp snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. Things are going
to do lust what you tell 'em to do.
If YOU had a lot of tin fingers in
front and a streak of mercury up
vOur spine, you'd only need sheet
iron case and wire handle to be
barometer If you'll look along
YOUR measly information ABOUT the
Weather, p'raps you'll find that
overc0at at the other end OF 1t
Where's that coat? Going to let
me stand here and soak whlie INC
moths picnic that coat into shau,
net? Take me by the eiDoW anu
lead me to the coat! and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke tipped the sofa over so
That he could see under 1T, and then
slapped a plaster bust OF Minerva
against the wall, under the impres-
sion that the coat might nave
crawled into her ear. ~
1T is the strangest thing In the
world y giggled Mrs. Spoopendyke,
hysterically. Are you sure you
wore it home" -. .,
sIf didn't how'd l get home"
roared MIR. Spoopendyke, putting
his hands on his knees and grlnnlng
in his Wife's face. 'S'pose it hired
q hack and drove home? Oh, no
7 didn't wear it home. The last l
saw of Il it had its hat over its ear
and n female waterproof on its arm,
and piking up Fulton street as nap
py as an Aldermans lunerai; . !
| What're ye standing tnefe !or
Got some indistinct notions Una!
the dod-gasted coat has gone - &c. ga
a shave, haven't ye? Whoa ye
give it to? Been endowlng a
metaphysical chair in some Kihu %
an old Woman's home with 1t
haven't We? Where's the coat
Develop the coat before l vltlat(
the insurance! and Mr.. Spoopen
dyke kicked his wife's WOrk-baske
, across the room and rammed hl'
arm To the shoulder up the chin
ney. ,o wa,
wore it last p asked Mrs. SpoOpen
, dyke, suddenly becoming calm anl
Il wore it on my back" protested
Mr.. SDoopendyke, who didn't re
member whether he had taken 1t u
church or a hospital. Maybe yol
are under the impression that tieC
If If to q stick and wheeled it along OF
the buttons! On my back, l lel
We? On this particular back ! am
t Mr.. Spoopendyke almost broke III n
, arm pointing out the attraction re
, ferred to. Most folks fit up. thel
ruhher Oyercoats with bent WIZ
md focus and wear 'em for spec
? tacIas. but l hadn't time; SO L Wor'
= If on nv back Bring forth Tn
: coat y Yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke
5 spinning around like top. 'FetcI
| out the measly coat before the pre-
= nrietor of these premises makes u
r his mind whether he'll build
: house here or mortgage the lot!
s You wore it the last day it ram
l ed. and when it cleared of In TN
: afternoon / noticed that you had o
: vour spring overcOat,' sald MT
t SpOopendyke quietly.
f Great headh grunted Mr.. Spool
l endyke, beginning to 1eel uncom Oh,
8 Portable, and wondering now II W" =,
> coming out. with your percePtlV
g faculties and meteorological eouca
t tion. YOU only need one more !e
e and a clear night to be a dod-gaste
If street telescope at ten cents peep
It What of it? 'Spose 1 did wear
e spring overcoat! 1t is spring am
If And I don't. know continue
Mrs. Spoopendyke, but l thln
Won had it on over your waterproof
If you'll look, you may hnd u
rubber coat inside of the other Oh
nOw.' go
Mr.. Spoopendyke growled an
snorted his way to the closet ike
l. l. foghorn, and found-things as II
,f wife had predicted.
y Smart, amt YEP he grunble'
g. as he hauled out the waterproof
e 'Great powers of inductive reasol
,e ing! Some day Pm going, to
II you up with stiff neck ana a ?
l. 0f beans and start a Concord Scho
IL of Philosophy with you.
le And with this threat Mr.. Spo0
le endyke threw the coat over u
A arm, and all the way to C0ney :
y land entertained his trlend opech, !,
ct wottie with Il description of b
Il habits of order, (which are so pt
$, feet. sir, that could put my thun
l; on anything / wanted, sir-if y
Mt wife would only let things alone!