Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-04-13
SMALL TALK.


This Is the young grain Speculat0r. He
is wearing Grape on his hat. None of his
relatives are dead. Why then does he
wear Grape on his hat: Because he got in
front of the grain market when it was
loaded. Did the market &C off: Yes,the
market went off. Another case Of did not
know it was loaded.
The drummer inhabits railroad trains.
He Is always al home on the cars. He
also temporarily infests the best rooms in
hotels. In winter he wears an ulster, with
the surcingle hanging loose behind, land in
summer a linen buster.
He Is usually swung 10 q satchel con-
tanning q comb and brush, another shirt,
q clean celluloid collar and a pair of cuffs:
also a railroad guide, and i newspaper
wrapped around a suspicious looking bot
tie. This i about all the personal baggage
he carries, except a Seaside Library novel,
and q pocket knife with q cOrkSCr6w in
the back Of it. He has a two-story iron
bound trunk containing SAMPLES Of dem
goots," which he checks through to the
next town. He always travels for d first
class house-1he largest firm in their line
Of business in the United States, a firm
that sells more goods and sells them
cheaper than any " houses in the coun-
try. He is very modest about stating these
facts, and bushes when he makes the
statement, but he makes il nevertheless,
probably "a i matter Of duty.
He can talk on any subject, although he
may not know much about il, but what
little he knows he knows, and he lets YOU
know that he knows il. He may be giving
his views on the financial policy Of the
British government, or lie may only he
telling YOU Of what, il his opinion,is good
for 4 boil, but he VIII do il with an air and
q tone that leaves the matter beyond dis
pute.
While the drummer i not osteutatjously
bashtUl. neither does IL assume any nut
TRUTHS however, one Of his strong points,
and he Is never known TO 90 beyond actual
facts, except in the matter Of excessive
baggage. Regarding this. he VIII SOME
times stretch a point until il viii cover Up
two hundred pounds Of q three hundred
pound trunk He j. the only maj who
dares address hotel clerks by their Chris
tan names He knows every hotel il the
country and every room in every hotel.
WHEN he arrives BY q late train he i first
10 get out Of the bus and reach the clerks
! desk, when liz says 10 the clerk Hello.
Charley. old IL, how are YOU: Got No. Is
for me-"
In the dining room the drummer j. &
fayorite with the coIored walters although
be orders mere dishes, and finds more
fault with the fare, than Other guests do.
He does net believe the waiter when he
tells him that ths milk ! al out. but sends
him of Ia enquire further about the mat
ter, and while the wai1eri> gone ht fill W
his glass OUT # the blue mix il the cream
pitcher. He firt> with the chamber maids.
Iea>es The hourOlaCk>, ana plays practical
Jokes on the regular bnarder-. He goes
10 bed at 4 late hour, and sleeps 80 >oundly
that ihe porter wakes Up the people Tor
TWO blocks around. and shakes the plaster
of tie wall, III irving to communicate 10
him the fact that the bus for the ! . 8.
II. train VIII start in ten minutes.
The drummer has much II worry and
| IRE; = 1ISsIssia6I Il .ight 10 save t5,z,e.
sleeping in 81 baggage car, OF the caboU~t
Of a freight train, with nothing but HI
ear for 8 pillow. humping over rough roads
on stages and buckboard>, living OF corn
! bread and coffee dinners in cross road.
hotels, re- under ali these vexafioue cir
cumstance, liz i usually good Lumored,
and il the bs>t # spirits, although III
sometimes expresses LIZ feelings regard
ing the di>comfort> Of travel, and The
tougAnes> Of d htef>teak or the eolidiJy q
& biscuit, in language that one would new
er think Of atIrihutinc 10 the author Of
Watts hymns.
All kinds Of improbable stories are told
about drumIner>, some Of them being al
iDoNt - llAIioha'it IL iAF stories IhtIt
themselves tell. For instance, We once
heard thai q man saw & drummer il the
riney woods II North Carolina. camping
out under au umbrella.
What are you doing here"
Il am camping, and living on spruce
gun IL save expenses replied the drum
ner-
..wha. arr WON 5aire, that fort.