The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1882-10-27
His PA Has Got ,Em Again.

| IL tDe uOgs IN our neighbOrhoOd
hold out | guess | can do something
that all the temperance societies in this
'-".' ai~ro iaIieu 10 no." says the bad
boy to the grocery man, as ho cut off
piece of cheese and took handful of
crackers ont of a box.
"Weli, for heavens sake, what have
you been doing now, you little repro
BATE" asked the grocery man, as he
went to the desk and charged the boys
father with pound and four ounces of
cheese and pound of crackers.
"lf you was my boy and played any
OF your tricks on me would mani the
everlasting life out of you. Your faith.
er is cusscd fool that he don't send
you to the reform school. The hired
girl was over this morning, and saws
your father is sick, and l should think
he would be. What have you done?
Poisoned him, suppose"
"No, l didn't poison him, | lust
scared the liver out of him, that's all.n
GLOW was ii.'i nsLad tho ,..o..-y
man. as nc charged up a pound of
prunes to the boys father.
We'll, I'll tell you, but if YOU ever
tell pa won't trade here any more.
You see, pa belongs to all the secret
societies, and when there is a grand
lodge or anything here, he drinks aw.
fully. There was something last
week, some sort of a leather apron of.
fair, or sash over the shoulder. and
every night he was out till the uext
day, and his breath smelt all the time
IKE in front of a vinegar store. wbere
they keep yeast. Ever since ma took
her hay fever with her up TO Lake Su.
perior, pa has been a terror, and
thought something ought to be done.
Since that variegated dog trick was
played Oh him he has been pretty sober
tlil ma went away, and happened TO
thlnk OF dog boy in tho Third
W""d hoe sot, mat will do tricks.
lie will jump up and take a mans hat
OIL and bring n, .he yd5 NTetto tofur-u, OH
our street, and ,Monday night, about
dark, l got i'll the house and told the
boy when pa came along to make tbe
dog take his hat, and to pin handker-
chiei to pas coat tail and make the dog
take 'hat, and then for him and the dog
to lite for home. Well, you'd died pa
came up the street as dignified and i'm.
poriaht as though he had gone throuob
a bankruptcy, and tried to walk
straight, and just as he GOT nosr-tbe
door the boy pointed to pas hat and
sald: Fetch it, The dog is n bio
newfoundland, but he is Jumper, and
ooht You forget it. Pa is short and
.i.i~A, .-.''' wrcn the dog srrucK MN us.
the shoulder and took his hat pa almost
fell over, and then said get OUT and
he kicked and backed up towards the
step, and then turned around and the
boy pointed to the handkerchief and
said, fetch it, and the dog gave one
RAshrp parw6pp pdqr itrspndi aflRet aGflRet IN hold ,tQf
to climb up the steps OH his hands and
feet, and the dog pulled the other way,
and it's an old last years duster, any,
way, and the whole back breadth
come out, and when opened the door
there pa stood with the front of his
coat and the sleeves on, but the back
was gone, and took hold of his arm
and he said Get out and was going to
kick me, thinking was a dog, and
told him | was his own little boy, and
asked him if anything was the matter,
he said;
"'M (hic) after enough. New F
(hic) land dog chawing me last hour ma
half. Why didn't you come and
(hic) i'll 'em.
81 told pa there was no dog at all,
and he must be careful of his health or
| wouldn't have no pa at all. lie look
ed at me and asked me, as he felt for
the place where the back of his linen
duster was, what had become of his
coat tail and hat, if there was no dog,
and told him he had probably caught
his coat on that barbed wire fence
down the street, and he said he saw
the dog and a boy just as plain as could
be, and for me to help him up stairs
and 20 for the doctor. | got him in
bed and he said, this is hellish eli
mate my boy and | went for the doc
tor. Pa said he wanted to be cauter-
lied, so he would't go mad. | told the
doc. the joke, and he said he would
keep it up, and he gave pa some pow
ders and told him if he drank any
} more before Christmas he was dead
man. Pa says it has learned him a
lesson, and they can never get any
more pizen down him; but don't you
! give me away, will your cause he
/ would go and complain to the police
>. about the dog and they would shoot il.
Ma will be back as soon as she gets
> through sneezing, and l will tell her,
!, and she will give me chrome, cause
v she don't like to have pa drink only
! between meals. Well, good day.
y There's an Italian got bear that per-
Is forms in the street, and am going TO
l. find where he is showing and feed the
bear cayenne pepper lozenger, and
n see him clean ont the Polack settle
= ment. Good bye"
81 And the boy went to look for the
bear [Peck's Sun.