davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
WILLIAM PENN,

An Awkward Question--An Incident
i'm PENIS Life Referred to the BIZ
Centennial Committee.
Burdette's Life Of William Penn.
Sand now, in conclusion" said William
Penn, @for time fiss and money is u per cent,
Ill tell thee what I'll do with thee. We didn't
come here to rob thee, but if thee has any land
that thee want to sell, I'll make thee an offer
as square as horse trade. don't want
to beat thee out of foot of ground, but if thee
is anxious to sell I'll give right here, cash and
goods right down on the counter, $500 for the
the state of Pennsylvania, with all the dips,
spurs, and angles, sinuosities, stock, good
VIII, nxtures, subscription and mailing lists,
and all the appurtenances thereunto apper-
tanning, be the same more or less. and YOU can
take it or leave it. B."
They want you, the interpreter explained
TO make it five hundred and a halfn
Gould do it" replied Penn 81 won't make
dollar out of it at $780, I've paid el6.OOO
for it already to a man who never owned a
tSot of it. and can't put much more money
into it"
~He wants to know, Onas," the lnterpreter
said, when native delegate ceased to speak
(Onas was the nearest the Indians could get To
a translation for PENIS name, "Onas" mean
ing quill; although why it wasn't Just as easy
to say Penn even with two MS, no one but an
Indian could telD; che wants to know, Onas. if
you paid $4,000 for the state to a 1and-grab-
Der who couldn't and can't give you deed if
you think 1t a square deal to offer the rightSNi
owners only $500 to quite title?"
And the silence that fell on the assembly
was SO profound you might have heard gum
drop.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
A Guest of the English Hunting
Season.
English Cor N Y Trihune

IJlSllSu OOI NJ l. 1ElDuu6s
Whenever 1 come have my favorite room
given to me, and when arrive see my name
written at full length on a large white card
which slips into a little frame on the exterior
of the double doors. I also see a superb fire
flaming in gigantic fireplace, a genuine north
country fire, made with enormous blocks of
that firm, bituminous coal called silkstone.
While have been receiving hearty welcome
my effects have been unpacked and distrib-
uted in various old oaken and walnut ward
robes and chests of drawers. My guns have
been given in charge of the head-keeper, my
own dispatch box is on the table and in case nv
servant should have forgotten to pack it up,
note paper of all sorts and sizes.
fresh ink that will flow, and good
stores of quilts and steel pens that will
write. lie before me- and luxuriously invit-
ing armchair. Every need is anticipated,
and it only requires touch on the bell to pro-
duce the brandy and soda, or whisky and pol,
which have superseded the old fashioned
glass of sherry. When tea is ready it is an
nounced, but am by no means obliged to go
down and drink it. On the contrary, may
convert my grand old room, with its walls
twelve feet thick and at least 500 years old, in
to literal boudoir-I may pout and sulk in it
alone if please. may have letters to write,
the usual formula, or | may after railway
travelling following an early mornings cub
hunting, feel as if a solid hours sleep before
dinner would do me more good than tea and
talking, After genuine hard days shooting
or hunting, generally take as near two hours
as can, consistently with being awakened in
time to tub and dress for dinner by or lit
tie after
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01

at am my painful dooty, said the presi-
dent, as he opened the meeting, ito inform
you dat death has again invaded our circle
Brudder Slipback Burbanks, of Syracuse, n
Y, am no mo- on airth He breathed his last
three days ago, after an illness of sixteen
days. What axshun will de club take in de
matter?"
Il move dat we send de wldder resolushun
of sympathy" announced Judge Cadayer.
Il reckon dat we had better resolve dat de
club has lost shinin' light" timidly added
Pickles Smith.
@De club will neither resolve nor ford any
resolushuns of sympathy" remarked the
president Ode wilder an chillen can't eat
a resolushun, eben if written in blue ink. De
seckretary will mail her ten-dollar green
back from de club funds, an express de hope
dat she am DOOM well under de circum-
stances.
@Dis club hasn't lost no shinin' light by de
death of Brudder Burbanks. He was no shin
er. Fact am, he was a very common sort
of hump backed Guild pusson. an it took
him as long to add seven an eight tOgeder as
it would some Odder men to arm two dollars.
He was accomplished in nothing; he excelled
only in KILN time when at work by de day.
He would be no better off if we pronounced
forty lynn eulogies on his character He can
be no worse off if we tell de honest truth.
De usual emblem of sorrow will be hung to
de knob of de inner doah fur de space Of two
weeks, an we will remember Brudder Bur
banks as extremely goOd-natured, eben if ex-
tremely lazy"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Mountain Roads and School Houses
in Georgia.

Gertrude Garrison in Indianapolis Review.
The Georgia mountaineer is not fastidious
as to highways He will chalk streak over
a pile of rocks and dead trees as big as three
or four churches, call it road and drive over
it with pair of mules and hack with brakes
on it. If you express any surprise OF disgust
he stands up for the road at once, assuring
you that in comparison with certain others
that actually exist, it is perfect feather bed
The mountain school house is not an aesthetic
piece of architecture You would hunt through
the literature of the art OF building in vain for
its prototype. Thrc5 sides of it only are
boarded up, and whe4o the boards meet space
is not stinted Light and air seem to have
been special objects in the architects mind
He supplied them, but not much of anything
else Through the wide chinks rows of over
grown children, with awe and astonishment in
their bulging eyes, are seen. Some of them
walk eight miles every morning and go over
the same ground every evening, to secure
such educational privileges as this well-ven-
tilated academy provides. Our driver is fa-
miliar with the people of the mountain, and
tells us some of his experiences
"a sight of strangers skeers these little
chaps nigh about to death If you meet one
on the road and say, How dye do; he sticks
his finger in his mouth, yells out I'll tell pap
and breaks for the brush again"
Wondering if any woman was heroic enough
to live in this solitude and teach, asked in
regard to the sex Of the teacher
swell, he passes for man" he answered.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
How HemOrrhage Occurs.


Sometimes the capillaries-the minute hair
like vessels through which the arteries con
meet with the veins-are over istended with
blood (congested), in which case their very
thin walls are rendered thinner, and allow
even the blood itself to pass through The
blood then is said to be exuded, no rupture of
the vessels having occurred The escape Of
the blood relieves the congested vessels This
is so in pneumonia.
There may be capillary bleeding with no
dangerous results, from the nose, throat,
gums, stomach and lungs, several teaspoon
fuls being lost, and the relieved vessels soon
returning to their former state.
Sometimes the capillaries of the intestines
may have been weakened by disease and have
become surcharged with blood, in consequence
of the blood which flows from them through
the liver being impeded by diseased condi-
ton (cirrhosis) of the latter organ.
In this case there may be frequent slight at
tacks of bleeding from the bowels, followed, at
length, by an extensive and fatal flow. Yet,
even in such cases, a post mortem examina-
ton would reveal no large break, but only
millions of minute openings from HIGH the
blood oozed
The most dangerous hemorrhages are of a
different character, and result from a sudden
giving away of the walls of a blood vessel an
ulcer, perhaps, eating into it, as ih the stom-
ach or bowels; or an abscess in the lungs; or
cancers generally. A capillary in the brain
may bleed and cause paralysis or larger YES
sells may break, causing death by apoplexy.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Pulpit Slips OF the Tongue.

Youths Companion.
The Rev. Mr.. - was one Of the most bash
full men, and was constantly getting into diff
culies through his nervous mistakes. At one
time he rose in his pulpit to give out the
hymn, "This world is all feeting show" and
clearing his throat he struck high pitch Of
voice and began solemnly:
@TLis world is all floating shoe" Every
body smiled but the deacons, and the minister
was covered with confusion as he began
again:
@This world is all shouting flow"
This made matters worse, and the unhappy
man cleared his throGt with tremendous force
and began again:
"This world is all floating"
Then he laid the hymn-book down, and wip-
ing his clamnny brow, said:
Brethren, for some reason | cannot read
the hymn as it should be read. We will omit
it, and the choir will please sing voluntary"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
De Brazza's Performance in Central
Africa.

London Cor n Y. Tribune
Mr.. SANKEY'S comment upon the De Brazza
claim, if it cannot be answered, is destructive
not only of the claim but of De Brazza. This
&Italian gentleman in the service of France"
pretends to have obtained a cession of terri
tory on the right bank of the Congo from a
reigning chief named Makoko, and to have
taken possession of it in the name of France
On the strength of treaty signed by Makoko,
he summons France to ratify the bargain, and
to establish her sovereignty in Central Africa.
Mr.. Stanley points out that the territory" is
a strip of land nine miles long by five broad;
that the treaty" was not a treaty of cession,
but a permission to De Brazza to build on
the land in question, that neither Makoko nor
any other African chief was ever known to
cede one inch of land, and that he denies ced-
ing any to De BTaZza; that the value of the
goods given by De Brazza in exchange was
about $3.50, and that the French flags, of
which we have heard SO much, were at first
accepted by the Africans as breech cloths, but
finally rejected as not large enough for the
purpose.
The monstrous impudence of NJ De Braz
za's claims will be still better understood by
comparing what he did with the magnificent
work achieved by Mr.. Stanley. NJ De Braz-
za's performances may be summed up by say
ing that he found short cut across the bend
of a river, and established French sergeant
and two natives on the site of an imaginary
village. Of any permanent or really bench
cial work done by him, whether in exploring
or IN ciyIllzlng, there Is no trace. He has
spent $4,000 at the rate, as Mr.. Stanley
quantity puts it, of about SIS per mile-three
tunes as much as Livingstone, for example,
found needful
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Oscar Wilde a Cherokee.
Broadway Lounger" in n. Y. Tribune.

"Broadway LOunger" IN n. 7. Tribune.
had my first peep at Oscar last week. and
carefully looked over his straight and power
ful form, his large bones, the high cheek
pieces, the stolid yet maudlin eyes, the
swarthy skin and the long straight locks of
Indian hair Said I to myself; my boy, you
don't fool mel Instead of being the perfect
flower of Europe, Judge that you have es-
capped from the Indian Territory and are play
ing both continents for Cinnamon CAPTAIN
Garrick Mallory has been studying the types
of men, and he'll unqueshonably set you
among the Cherokees.'
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
PROGRESS.
An Improvement on the Old Circus
Trick.

Trick.
New York Times
But now comes another sensation, which is
not down on the bills. The stage manager
steps before the curtain and saws:
4 am very sorry, indeed, gentlemen. to be
Obliged to say to you that the next perform
ance on the programme, which you can see Is
that of Prof. Chalini, the king of trapeze
performers, we shall have to omit This the
atre so seldom Graves your indulgence that
know you will excuse it on this occasion.
Prof. Chalini telegraphed yesterday that h,
would certainly be present this evening, and
his trapeze has arrived and has been hung, a,
You can see"
And the manager points apologehcally up.
ward to a slender swing high among the flies
from which rope depends to the front of tn,
stage. He had hardly concluded his remark.
when well-dressed, hale and vigorous ole
man, with silverY hair, who had been unno
ticed before rises in the body of the hous,
and shouts:
@This is an imposition! You advertise tina
performance, and we've paid our money down
in legal tender to see it-and got trade dollar
for change-and now you stick a trapeze VI
there and make the paltry excuse that Prof
Chalini hasn't arrived. / suppose he got ruiz
over by street car on his way to the theatre
didn't he? don't believe you ever engaged
him! don't believe he'd play in any such
kind of theatre I denounce you as a swind
Ter, sir? Yes, demme, a swindler!" WheI
the old gentleman angr1ly concludes, the en-
couraSlng screams of applause from the gal
lery drown the stage managers voice Atlength
he makes himself heard: go to the office
and get your money back and clear out or
we'll put you QUIT"
There are not men enough in this theatre to
put me ont" cries the old man, now thor
ougbly aroused, and brandishing his cane
while the din from the gallery is deafening
"Put that man out!" calls the stage manager,
and a powerful "bouncer" steps forward He
retires precipitately toward the door, however,
when the old man darts at him with bran
dishing cane, amid pandemonium of encour-
aging screams, shouts of laughter and wild
applause from all parts of the theatre An
idea strikes the venerable gentleman, who is
seemingly infamed by the enthusiasm he has
created
"If were 20 years younger, I'd climb that
rope, and do an act or two myself, on that
trapeze. I'm an old sea captain, he shouts
And, suddenly darling forward, he hurls his
stick at the stage manager, and, before any
one can prevent him, seizes the rope and
swings at It's extremity down over the heads of
the orchestra The pianist narrowly escapes
by falling from his stool, and the living tassel
on the rope gives the piano kick to swing
himself back to the stage. Then he quickly
climbs the rope, seizes the trapeze bar, and
hangs limp and helpless thirty feet above the
audience
@Great heavens! he'll kill himself" cries the
stage manager, and there is a stampede from
the seats below. But now the old gentleman
kicks off his pantaloons; removes white wig,
and, amid thunders of applause, appears in
having been merely ' d1ert TIM gag of
the management
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
4 POPULAR FalacY.

PhlIadaIphla IImes.
1t is popularity Believed that leaves are
turned by the action of the frost, and nearly
every school boys composition on the seasons
gives this as veritable fact But, if so, how
can he account for the coral and amber tints
of some of the foliage Of late summer, while
the sun still beams with fiery glow, before
these ATTITUDES have had any suspicion of
Jacks visits? Or why, when he actually
does come, do the glowing leaves turn to a
melancholy brown in single night and drop
like 80 many useless rags? Frost has little or
nothing to do with it. Leaves turn simply be-
cause it is their nature to do So They redden
like the rose or yellow like the pear, because
the time has come for them to do just that
very thing Probably if we could suspend
frost altogether, we should still have our
familiar autumn leaves.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Sleeping Car Ventilation.

One more sleeping car episode and will
close. A fat man from New York engaged
lower berth last evening, and, after he had re-
tired, he raised the curtain of his window and
gloated in the cool moonlight and the fresh.
pure air that came in at the partially opened
easement He was great stickler for ventil
alton, and the thought that he was getting
glorious draught of heavens pure air made
him happy Finally, bathed in the magnifi
cent moonlight, he sank to sleep Iu the
double, and that only one of them was open.
Aside from the man who got up in the night
and kicked four panes of glass out of book
case in order to get more air, and went to bed
happy, | do not know of sadder case of
misplaced confidence.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
BOyntOn. the Swimmer,as a Lecturer.
Nom Nr,lr Trih11nn


A reporter asked him why he did not enter
the lecture field mo, sir" he answered,
give bad enough of that Ny last experience
was at Helena, Arkansas was forced by the
people there on my voyage down the Missis-
sippi to stop over for a lecture. I couldn't
speak in my rubber suit I hadn't my bag
gage. The mayor lent me his dresscoat and a
white handkerchief, which he tied very artis-
ticahy around my neck as a cravat The doc
tor promised me the trousers He was called
off by patient and didn't turn up. The stage
was a small one the people were bowling.
The mayor fixed up a table covered with a red
cloth that nothing below my waist could be
seen. was forced on. Igotto talking and
was well received. When / came to tell about
my encounter with a shark I became a little
excited, forgot about my costume, stepped to
one side of the table, and-well, when the
audience yelled with laughter I made bee
line for the green room, and Haven't lectured
since"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
California to be Great Grape Grow
ing Land.

San FRANCISCO Bulletin.
1t will come to this, that the best varieties
of grapes now grown anywhere in Europe will
be found in California Indeed, some Of the
best are found here to-day. There ar viii
culturists who have been over the vineyards
of France and Spain. They know what is
done there and what can be done here. There
is no grape which fourishes in either Of these
countries which will not come to perfection in
California. Another use of one of the most
prominent grapes in California has
as yet attracted little attention The
Muscat grape has this year been
used extensively for canning purposes.
1t is table and raisin grape, not ranking high
for wine, although it produces the sweet wine
known as muscat or muscatel, and which finds
favor with many. The grapes for canning
purposes are of the largest kind-as large al
most as plums, and of course can only be
grown where there is great heat and facilities
for irrigation. These canned grapes will yet
have a prominent place in the market Of
course grapes of this size and quality will
make very handsome raisins. But if the grower
can get from $50 to S35 ton for them he will
be likely to let them go without resorting to
the raisin process.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
instructions to a Barber.

A reporter of The Chicago Herald handed
barber the following before operations be-
gan: II want close shave am in hurry.
Do not put any oil or grease on my hair. |
never use bay-rum or cosmetics Please comb
my hair up and back. do not wish my hair
trimmed or cut 1 do not want any shampoo
or bath, I have not heard the latest news
from Egypt, nor do I want to. l care nothing
for politics or crime or society 1 do not care
for stock or market reports. 1 am not stran-
ger in the city, and I am not going to the ball
this evening. l am a professor in deaf and
dumb institute, and am glad oft. Go ahead
and shave me"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01

represents. Inc pacK Is tns DARK, IN wnIcn
a small place is cut to write the scientific and
common names as title. One side shows the
tree trunk in its natural state and the other is
vanished or polished Inside are shown the
leaves, fruit, fibre and the insects and other
parasites which prey upon it, and a full de-
scription of its products, etc, is added
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Falstafian Audacity of stalwartism

George Alfred Townsend.
The temperament of Conkling and Cam
eron, eagerly initiated by their tools, have
produced the Falstafian kind of audacity called
Stalwartism, which is at the bottom the cow
ardice and on the surface the desperation of
the thief. Low, common creatures like Smyth,
Plat, French, ct al. might have been well be-
seen the actions OF the two DULLES by temper
ament above them, and then swagger was the
word.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Cure for Writer'S Cramp.

New York Sun.
A Munich professor has invented bracelet
that will remedy the affection known as
writers cramp." The penholder is fastened
to the bracelet in such manner that it can be
used to write with ease and without bringing
the fingers into use at all The hand can rest
on the table, moving easily along as the letters
are traced, and it is said that little practice is
required to give expertness in the use Of the
invention.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Imitation Worm Holes.

San FranclScO Chronicle.
The manufacturers of bogus antiquities re-
sort to the most extraordinary devices to give
to their productions the appearance of age.
One of them, finding that the holes which he
made in order to give it worm-eaten appear
ance could be detected by naturalist who had
made study Of the habits of the furniture
worm, invented an instrument that reproduced
the worm hole in the exact manner that the
insect would have made it.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Heathens Not AmIgnorant.

The Rev. DR.. scudder, who goes from
Brooklyn to take charge of the Plymouth Con
gregational church of Chicago, was one of the
first men who opened the eyes Of
the average American to the wonderful keen
ness and clearness of the Hindoo mind His
lectures twenty-three years ago were little less
than revelation to many who had thought
Of the heather as synonymous with savages.
DR.. Scudder pointed out that the missionary
often got the worst of the argument, though
his gospel was good one.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
Telephone for Divers.
New York Sun.

Mr.. Wake engineer of the river wear COM
missioners, aud Mr.. Irish, manager of the
Northern District Telephone company, in Eng
in the use of the telephone by divers. The
length of the cable connecting the receiver in
the divers helmet with the transmitter above
water was 800 yards. 1t was found that the
diver could converse with ease, and ask for
tools In any position in which his work might
require him to place himself.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
A Preacher on the Constitution,

Rev. Edward E. Hale, in short address be-
fore the Bostonian society on the wisdom Of
teaching children something positive about
our national government, said the other day:
"The declaration of independence should be
framed and hung up in every school house in
and in the head of every schoolboy in the
United States"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
A Hotel Monopoly.

Frank Leslie's Newspaper.
A syndicate of capitalists has been formed
which proposes to erect twelve hotels in differ
emit parts Of the Yellowstone Park at a cost of
$20OO,0O0. The first, which will be completed
in time for next seasons travel will be built
on Gardiner river, at the mammoth hot
springs, and will be called the Yellowstone
house. It will contain 400 rooms.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-12-01
A Salt HIine Two Thousand Years

Near Salzburg, Austria, mine has been
found which seems to have been abandoned at
least {, 900 years ago in consequence of an in
undation. Bodies of the ancient salt-miners
have been discovered among the debris toler-
ably well preserved Among the implements
were wooden shovels, basket made of un-
tanned raw-hide, piece of cloth of coarse
wool, and the remains of torch bound togeth-
er with flax tibres. The disaster which flooded
the mine had evidently been sudden.