The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-06-13
Sense and nopse,age,


right
Clubs are always trumps with the po-
liceman.
Why don't they introduce job into
the Opera of Patience
When hens begin to set, eggs, like
truth. begin to rise.
The Matrimonial Union Is subject 10
more strikes than any other.
A great many men who swell resemble
the dried apple in that respect.
Wheat is a grain of comfort although
some have preference for rye.
1t is probably as well for Congress to
waste time one way as another.
Although Sergeant Mason did not
hit Guiteau be struck bonanza.
The weather is sometimes auspicious,
but mnre frequently suspicious.
Opium kills 100 900 Cinnamon every
year, bat they are scarcely missed.
A woman can always keep 3 secret
until she sees ber nearest neighbor.
The forlorn hope-when one asks q
girl to marry him for the third time.
When is that long-talked of and long
delayed monument to Adam to be built
1t is bard to tell which is the most
fretful-the porcupine or the politician,
There are sermons 10 stones, hut you
should never impress them ON a mans
| head
The most frequent thing to meet one
now is the warm hand OF the friendly
candidate.
When is sailor liable to throw an
artist overheard When he casts of
the painter.
The Nv York Tribune Is lending its
support to the Independent ticket in
Pennsylvania.
Accusations rsshly made, generally
result ir more injury to the accuser than
to the accused.
Matrimonial matches are not taxed be.
cause you can't tax anything that is
When girl persists in tight laciug
against her physicians orders, it's case
of willful waist.
The picture Of Alexander Fl. Stephens
In the newspapers makes him look about
eighteen years old.
The. tobacco fiy is chewing up the
weed in the South. Even insects get
into foolish ways
Ruskin says that wife is beautiful
word. Brigham Young must have CIV
en- John this pointer.
A woman's heart is small affair, hut
it can upset the biggest man that ever
adorned this world.
Before people settle down by the sea-
side for the summer they ought to settle
up with their creditors
Rev. "Adirondack" Marrav is engag.
ell in the humble but useful occupation
Of hauling wood in Texas
The poet would never have written
the "R4in on the Roof" il the house
had been covered with tin.
Miss Crimes is about to take the lec-
ture platform. There is a great danger
that she will commit herself
How remarkable it is that while the
clothes never make the man; the man
generally makes the clothes.
There is no doubt but beef will he
higher before the summer is over, Even
ox.lails will go up in 6v time.
Milwaukee's Mayor has issued proc
lamation warning druggists to desist
from the practice OF selling liquor shy
the drink"
If men Of cheek had more gerius and
men OF genius more cheek there would
probably be a. more even distribution OF
the finances.
The policeman's club is more of an
intellectual than social organization
since il pertains to the head rather than
to the heart.
The King of Portugal gave IS 600 TO-
ward establishing a lodging house for
|
self and dropped around to ask for a
bed The one they gave him was on
the toe of the boot, and he sn't.charta
BILE any more.
Nellie Jones. of Rochester, New York,
thought it would be lots OF fun to b ack-
en- up with burnt cork and then call on
"her fellow" but did rot 6nd it go funny
when she was captured by policeman
and taken to the station. She was sent
home after sharp ,ec'ure by the chief.
"Thrashing bv steam," murmured a
fond mother as she glanced at an article
in an agricultural paper. "What gitups
they dn have now daVs. Ii | had had
one of those steam thrashers for my
four hoys, my arms wouldn't have been
as rhelmatlcky as they are to-day" and
she dream'ly thought of the past as it
might have been.
Deer are so plentiful in some por.
tions Of Oregon that they have done
serious Injury to the growing crops, and
TO keep them away farmers stretch wires
around their fields, with bells attached at
intervals, the ringing of which swakens
the owners at night, enabling them to
open fire on such as are not already
scared away by the unusual sound
The largest sieem whistle on record
is claimed to have heen turned out al
the machine works at Bridgeport, Conn.
on Thursday. The whistle, which is
made entirely Of hrass, was constructed
for a firm in Canada, to be placed on {
ssw.nlll boiler, at cost Of $500 1t il
4 feet 9 inches in length, weighs 40(
, pouads aud requires inch steam pip'
, from $50 horse power boiler with Isl
pounds pressure steam to blow it. 1t is es
, tima,ed that on clear day the sount
can reach about fifty miles.
I Two Highlanders found themselve
unable to get into harbor in their boat
I, the waves diving it out to sea 80 per
. Sistently that Donald, after obstinstel,
! battling with the elements, cried ont t,
y Duncan in dialect which we shall mn
t attempt fully to represent: "Go doo
e on your knees, mon. and offer bit Q
n PRAYER" But before Duncan wa, o.
4 his knees the boat's keel grated on tn
/ beach, whereupon Donald shouted
il 'sStop praying; we've come ashore b
# our own exersions, and FL no be behold
"