davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
Extremes IL ami 260
BAzOO BUZZ.

S. A. Wright Tor sewing machines.
A man too drunk TO give hl> nam.
vas locked up hy Officer Joe Cos, age last
night about hall pasl ten.
A MARYLAND exchange refers TO Mr..
Thos G. Forward, OF l:elaIr, that stale, VIII"
was cured by ST. Jacobs OIL of rheumatism.
Rochester, (N. w. Sunday Morning
Tribune.
Mrs. Martin, whose troubles were
briefly r,ierr, d 10 in Fridays BAAoo, was
fin, q so by Justice Fisher. She >.,n.s To
be bad woman and her house ought To-
be suppressed.
boss POTATOES AT VESTS.
Counselor Samuel l.. IIighleyman
made his maiden effort i'm the great rail
road tax suit in the circuit court ytster-
dav. His argument WIS Pronounced an
able one by all who heard it.
The Anthony & Ellis Uncle Toms
Cabin comedy Company, which played L"
such large hous, 5 hoIe last Saturday week.
afternoon and evening, PASSED through thI
city yesterday forenoon "n the NORTH hound
h. * 4. train on their WY 10 MUbeIly.
A butchers wagon, driven hastily
yesterday al"iHooh, ePill'o du.te III III
OF 'sassages" opposite the jay 'Iouid h"-
tel There WAS an Invidiuus Effort ON thu
part Of several Caucasian and African cit
liens To di,inier the chow-chOw. 'InYid
ious" may be the term.
August Meirer, the well-known up
holster Is still 10 Toe found in his Odd
quarters, over ID. A Clarke's establishment,
on Third street. where he will continue. a.
heretofore, to do all kinds OF work in his
line with Il neatness and elegance not 10 bc
surpassed in SedaIia, or elsewhere.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31

Why NAV q lover, embrace be l;kenod
unto tree.-Exchamge.
Dunno; unless it is when it is merged
into Il sish-prcss
Marriage" said an unfortunate nus
band, is the graveyard of love" YES"
said Lis WIFE,, and you men are the grave
digeers"
An Illinois girl found that she must
either give up her lover or her gum, and
after one day spent in II FICTION she
pressed his hand good-by and said she
would always be 3 sister To him.
When boy peels the skin off his
nose, the first thing he does is 10 get up
and veil --Excharg~.
When girl tumbles and gets hur. the
first thing she does is To get up and look as
her dress
-"Cheese IT," said the rat to the trap
Il Will said the trap, ''and with blited
breath | await your coming All right,
said the rat; "and III! wire you the re.
suit"
-Renrs are going mp so fast that little
hovS. when they slip down now, rent
their garments between their shoulders
instead OF ut the old place.-ESehange
Perhaps SO; but mothers in Sedalia will
continue to patch in the same old place
notwithstanding.
The Ioafer can never be reduced to
his last LOAF, and made TO work, while free
lunches ahound.-Exchange.
No; nor become ''hewer of wood and
drawer Of water" while "hand outs" are
gratuitously given.
Ga fellow feeling makes us wondrous
kind."-ESchanSe.
But not when the fellow is feeling for
your pockeIbook.
No mattersh0w rich voung man
may be-, he always pr fers mending his
su>penders with cord To purchasing a new
pair Exchange.
1T is predicted that ice will be high
next summer.-Eychange.
Shouldn't wonder; what with high
priced coal i'm cold weather and costly ice
in warm, life is hardly worth living I'M
less one can he dealer in one or both OF
these necessities
A Young lady who was squeezed be-
tween two freight cars declared il felt just
like trying on a pair OF new corsets
She must have been used to luscious
from something more than cor
sets.
MARY had vaccine scab
Upon her snOw-white arm,
She warned her beau to this effect
For fear he'd do ii harm.
"But when they came To part that nighs
She gave mighty grab,
And whispered: Hug me awful tight
And never mind the scab.'
AS a reader and patron of the st.
Louis Republican we demand to know
what that paper means TO insinuate this
morning when it saws that Sarah Bern
hardt has no use for man sitting on her
doorstep at night.-S.. Louis Post Dis
patch.
Because his presence would be moro
congenial elsewhere.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
Good Intelligence.

The valuable Preparations of the Gel
ebrlted DIR. Acker, so favorably known
throughout Europe, have lately been in
oduced among our people. DIR. Acker's
Dyspepsia tablets will be hailed with Joy
bv all who are distressed with disorders Of
the stomach and liver, Tor which they are
u sure preventive and cure. They are
very pleasure. and sold in elegant boxes at
twenty five and nifty cents, by Bard &
Miller
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
Renew Your Lease.

There are times IN every ones lie whcI.
energy Tails and miserable feeling Come
over them, mistaken fUr Iaziu,>s DANCE
turks ia these symptoms, IL ,ney arise iron.
di>,a>,d organs. Parkcr's Ginger Tom,
will restore prrfecI activity To the stomach.
liver aud Kidneys, purify the blood, ana;
r,.new your LEASE. Oi health and cOmlort.-
Aix,s.,te
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
" rIlten Tor ti,e SUNDAY Morning BssOo.
A CHANGE.

Well, we'll tits mighty strange, vow,
And altered is The Iul.
Since | MAS young and used Ia go
To that old 'deeslrict school"
We used to take our whipping then,
And bear il with the rst,
And not 60 whining home To Dad"
TO have our WOES redress, d.
We knew too well, YOU bet We did;
When w had tabs TO tell,
Our dads would take the teachers part
And warm our hides up we'll.
But now all things are changed indeed,
The schools are not the same
The parents take the scholar part
And give the teachers blame
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
That Owl.

The BAzoo is under obligations to pr s.
{. Mitchell, of New Palestine, for dona-
lion of fine specimen of blonde owl.
IL duly arrived in box by express, hand
some as an elephant and hungry as wolf.
OF course ii is duly Gagged anu r,sls sweetly
in the DAZoo geological garden.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31

-"Ive lived and l,ve,i.' said an un-
happy old maid. "Whcn | was yuun.,
DIR. Ban>nns SKIN Cure, Ter letter. eczama,
and pimpl,s "n the face, was not to IL.
bought As had Il rough skin, I kept
out oi company aud am how Ill Old maid"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
Facts worth Remembering.

Most eninen: physfciIu> give testimony
That the hc>., >.,i,st AMI mIlie~t remedy
iur aII i"rm> of notwithstanding, WHITTIER
inherited or contracted, Is Ackr'rs Blood
Elixir, Witch gives tome AMI vitality L.
the -ysIcm, throsins off I'll evll> -r,Ilov-
NY piml'vs. scrufhIa, rheumatism, etc.
SU.d by Bard II Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31

We have a speedy and positive cnre
fsr Calarrah, DiphIheria. Cankrr month
and Head Ache, IN SIiILOli'S CATARRII
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it il you desire health
and sweet breath. Price 80 cts. Sold by
all druggists.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
Lost.

Between d A. Clarke's and John G.
Aliens, gold " itch chain with charm. A
suitable reward viii be paid Tor the return
Of same to L. 7. CLIFFORD.
l-l1dtf
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31

MIR. +. q. Gartmau, the business
manager Of the Evening Dispatch, of York.
Pa. Was cured of neuralgia by three appli
cations of ST. Jabobs Oil.-Boston, Mass!
Saturday Evening Express.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
Society Bellies.

On account ui it, r,.uiark-lly delicate
amt lasting fragrance secretly bellies ar,
i"Ui ia thvir pri.~. 81 fi"r sion Cologne
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-31
BAZOO.
SEDALiA, 40.
JIIIkN. JANUARY II lSS'.
Weather RerOrt.

Corrected daily Tor she EAyoo i,y c. G.
rsvlor. IIoroiccist and optician, No. /"
Oaio street, i"r the tweniy-t"mr hours md
Ing at . o'clock p. m. January -. lNS2.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-08-31
WILL MAKING.

The Springfield (Mass.) Republican says ::
The journals of a year past have mentioned an
extraordinary number of queer contested wills.
Are people becoming more disposed to draw
their own wills without employing lawyers !?
There is no reason why any one should not
draw will who has fair buSinesS-like ability
to write out the gifts. Common sense sug-
rests that the paper ought to be headed as
will. and it is not difficult to learn by inquiry
how many witnesses are required in the par
ticuar State; this, by the way is the State
where the testator resides lat his death) a
will drawn for man Oh journey should
follow the law Of the State where he has his
home. Neither bad grammar nor mlSSpelllng
in the body of Will vitiates it; If the Judges
can understand what the paper means they
will order that done. Wills having nearly
every important word misspelled and almost
destitute of punctuation have been accepted
Maine papers say that court has lately taken
proof Of will made in pantomine by man
who was deaf and dumb, and could not write
or use the manual alphabet But mistakes
which obscure the meaning make trouble
A story last summer was that Mr. Matthew
Vessar, when drawing his own will, meant to
leave $1,000 to seven churches-i. e., 81, 900
apiece-but in copying his rough draft he in
advertently inserted the word ''each," giving
the churches $1,000 each, or S49, 900 in all.
The general rule as to mistakes is that If the
will is lucid and Ineligible, and can be car
ried into effect as it reads, this must be done ;
the language cannot be altered because wit
nesses say that the teStatOr meant something
different from what he wrote. But II what IS
written cannot be performed, the courts will
then take proof of what the man meant to
write.
Curious conditions are sometimes imposed.
One testator declared in his will that II any
legatee should attempt to break it he should
be debaYred from all share Another cut on
any heir who should wear mustaches. Anoth-
er said that each legatee must take the pledge
before receiving his share, and should forfeit
q half-year's income for every breach OF it.
Another left to his family physician $4,000 if
the testator should live two years, OF e3, 600 If
he should live five i but, unlucky for the doctor,
the patient lived only a week. Whether con-
ditions of this kind are operative depends on
the circumstances if they are lucid and prac-
ticable the courts will enforce them, but
many are so expressed that they amount to
nothing. Ifyou wish that your legatee should
not receive the property unless he complies
witt, condition, say so plainly in the will,
and the condition. if not contrary to law, will
probably he enforced. But to make him give
back the legacy because of breaking the con-
diton after it has been paid may not be sc
easy. And do not mention the requests at
all in the will, but write them separately in q
letter, unless you mean that, if they are not
obeyed, the legacy shall be forfeited. Be
quests which are not peremptOry conditions
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-08-31

THE BONES OF Charles J. Gui-
teau was hanged for the murder OF the late
President Garfield June 80. Before the rope
was placed around his neck there had been an
understanding arrived at that the final burial
place should be the Army Medical Museum,
as this was probably the only safe place where
the remains could be kept. The body was
buried July l, in the basement of the jail in
the east wing the resurrection took place on
the night of July 3. At the disinterment
there were present DR.. Lamb and Mr.. E. f
Schafhirt, the anatomist of the Medical Mu-
scum, and assistants, with Rev. DIR. Hicks,
the spiritual adviser of the deceased, Deputy
Warden Russ, Capt James Coleman OF the
Jail, and two laborers. Light was furnished
by two lanterns, and in short time the coffin
was reached. The casket and it's contents
were taken out and placed in wagon and
driven to the Army Medical Museum, into
the rear entrance of which they were carried
and the body was placed in vat OF alcohol.
Since then the flesh has been removed and the
bones have been in course of preparation for
mounting as a skeleton, if that course should
be determined upon. Most of the bones have
been treated with ether and are now being
bleached. but some of the larger ones have
not yet been taken from the ether bath. The
process of articulation will likely be entered
upon in few days, and in little time all
that remains Of Charles j. Guiteau may form
CHASTITY exhibit among the skeletons Of men
from every portion of the globe. 1t is said,
however, that there is some doubt as to wheth-
er Guiteau's bones will make first-class skel-
eton, for it has been found that, from some
cause, many of them appear to be porous, and
it will require more than ordinary care to
mount them Washington Star.
THOUGHT Thought is the motive power
of progress. Without it a man is a brute and
Improvement impossible. In every age the
historian finds men whose thought grasped
with problems that were then but prophesies
of possible progress yet unrealized These
were the visionaries, the fanatics of their
times They were few and poor and of small
reputation. They were the objects OF rldlcule,
contempt and persecution by the rich, the
great, the respectable and the 'unco good. "
Yet the glory of their name, Illuminated by
the realization of their dreams, gilds the age
in which they lived with the golden glow OF
distant sunset. The transcendental thought
of one age becomes the basis of the practical
work and faith of the age succeeding. Thought
is the prime factor in Gods plan for redeem
ing humanity from ignorance, vice, poverty,
| crime. sickness and sorrow. Thought is
born of suggestion, hence to listen to or read
the thoughts of others promotes thought i'll
those who read or hear, but whether ones
thought is high, low, worthy or unworthy,
depends largely upon the books and papers one
reads and the society one keeps. Evil COM
munications corrupt thoughts and manners
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-08-31

BIBLE ERRoRs.-Here is bit of informa-
ton that will do for the conventional scrap
book which is the property of every we'll regu-
lated household Many editions of the Bible
have been published during the last 300 years,
and into not few of them some peculiar
errors have crept. What is known as the
''Breeches Bibler Geneva, 1860 was so called
because Genesis iii, 7, was translated "They
sewed fig leaves together and made themselves
breeches," instead of "aprons,' as in the Eng
lish version now used. In the ''Treacle BIZ
ble'' Q56S) Jeremiah vii.,, y, was MADE 10
read SIS there no treacle in Giead, etc, in
stead of ''balm - and in 1909 the word was
changed to ''rosin - ''balm'' was first used III
I'LL. The ''Vinega ar Bible printed in OK
ford in I'LL, by John Basket, derived its name
from it's heading of Luke Xx., Whlch was maze IA,
to read ''The parable of the vinegar The
book had many other errors, from which it has
also been called, after the printers name, "A
basket of errors
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22

MAY0's BRDGE.-With the view OF an
swering inquiries as TO the rebuilding OF
the broken span in the bridge, and It's gene
raj repair and restoration, we have made
inquiries and learned that Mr.. A. ID. VIII
lians, the receiver OF the estate, has been
directed by an order Of the Chancery Court
to employ experts to make a full examina-
ton and report the cause OF the disaster
and what is necessary 10 put the whole
bridge In order. Under this authority the
receiver has selected. Mr. $. Price Maury,
engineer Of bridges on the Richmond and
Danyille railroad, and Mr.. Walter q. Berg,
who fills similar position on the Richmond
and Allegheny railroad. These gentlemen
are among the foremost men In their pro-
fcssion In the United States. The engineers
are engaged in making n most careful ex-
animation Of the whole structure, and will
probably report in few days. We are as
sured that the bridge will be re0pened to
travel only when II is pronounced safe be-
yond all peradventure by the highest sci-
entifc and practical judgment, and Is In
such condition as VIII command unlimit-
ed confidence rs TO its strength.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22

Are you disturbed AZ night ans broken Of your
rest by ,ics child uiIcring and crying Sith the
eNcruciating pain Of cutting teethy II ~, go At
once aud get bottle OF Mrs. WINsLOW's
SOOTHING SYRUP. II will relieve the l-,or little
sufferer inmcdiately-depcnd upon IL; there b M
mi take about IL. There j. not mother OBJ earth
who has ever used It who will zot tell You az once
that II will regulate the iowe and give ret 10 the
mother and relief and health to the child operating
like magic II Is perfectly safe To usc Ia MI cases
and pleasant tO the taste and & the prescription OF
one Of the oldc,t;and Irst female'phyelcians and
nurses In the United >tates. sold everywhere. 20
cents bottle. f. lseodfw
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22
SREKCEH.

The geography Of Wales j. said 20 Dc very in
tercstug to the student because In such small COM
pas, ~ gives isct and inlet and sthmus. lock, lake
and mountain, cape, promontory, and bay; but the
spelling of their names is anything hut agreeable
30 TIE uulnitiated. Llcfrehy or Ggyfrcuyd, or q
dozen other combinations OF consOnanis, are fair
type, OF their pu1ziing forms. Indeed, rule
has been laid down for spelling Welsh names, and
II is not such bad one after all. just think-how
II should be spelled reasonably, aud spell IL the
other way. The interesting title to our article
should be- treated In that way, aud when exactly
reversed a VIII tell story which win yet gladden.
every household here ~ In Wales. IL lO-eOdlm
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22
CrLrRY AND CHAMoMILE PILLS

rbe Episcopal Methodist, the wcli-known roli-
,i,,. pagsr of baltimore. said recently: "Dr. e..
"A. Benson. prScileing physician, at No. lO6
.orih Fuisw street, Of this city, (yho has paid
,rch attention 20 nervous diseases has discovered
,ha, rSirac, Of Celery and Chamomile combined
nscertain proportion, invariably cures headache
either bilious, dyspcptic, nervous or sick head
,chc-neuralgia, sccplessncss, dyspepsia, nervous
nos. and paralysis This is triumph IN medical
chemistry. The Doctor is largely known and high
~ respected In baltimore"
Sold by al druggists Price, 90 cents box
Depot. iO6 NORTH ECTAw STREET. BALTI-
MORE. MD. BY mail, two boxes for 81, or six
boxe, Tor $3.50. to amy address.
WHAT t1RsT-CLASS PHYSICIANS SAY or THEN:
~Dr. Bcnson's Celery and Chamomie Pills are
worth their weight in gold In nervous and SICK
hpadache.~-Dr. 4. n. Schlic.ter, Of Baltimore.
Thc>o Celery and Chamomile PHI, Of DIR. Ben
son, are invaluable in nervous diseases. DR..
HgamoHd, of .fcio York.
~Dr. Benson, PMS for the cure Of neuralgia are
.uccc>s-~-Dr. q. =. holman, Of Christmas
1urq. ia.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22
AVCTION SALES THIS DAY.

FRANK ID. HILL & Co. i.3O l.. VI, trustees
sale of small brick dwelling on Canal street
between First aud second streets.
JNO. T.. LAUGIirOS, JR., IOil \. ". household
furniture. carpets, stoves, sowing g-maclines,
feathers, &C.
&c, &c.
l.. B. COOK. 10 \. W.. n. VI. sale OF iIutzler
Brothers sto' K Of millinery goods. drcss-trini-
mines. &C., at No. 52J Broad street.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22
1 NDIA T.. PINKHAM'S

II VIII cure entirely the worst form Of Female
Complaints, an ovarian troubles, Inflammation and
liberation. Failing and Displacements and the
consequent spinal Weakness, and is particularly
adapted % The Change Of Life.
twin dissolve and expc tumors from the uterus
in an carly stage Of development Thctendcncyto to
canccrou- humors .here Is checked very speedily by
IT, use.
II removes flin,nc~s, iatulency, destroys all
craving for srmulants, and relieves woakness of
the stomach. Il cures Bloating, Headache, Ner-
gous Pro.,rauon, General Debility, sleeplc,sness
Depression. aud Indigestion.
That feeling Of bearing down. causing pain
weight and backachc, Is always permanentiycured
by it, use. It will az all times and under all circum-
stances act in harmony with the laws that govern
the female systcm. For the cure of Kidney Com
r!sni. of either sex this Compound, unsurTas ssed.
LYDIA !. PINKHAM'S VEGETABLE COM
FOUND T. prepard at 233 and 235 Western ave-
nuc, Lynn, Mass. Price, 81; six bottles for 80.
sent by mail IN the form Of pm also in the form OF
loscngc receipt OF price, II per box for either
MIR. rIsKIIAN freely answers all letters Of in
quip. send for pamphlet Address As above.
.uentioa U,is paper.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-02-22

A sketch in Indian ink" In Line OF Bat
tie Waiting for Orders by Mr.. W. l..
Sheppard il on exhibition in the window
OF Carlton Mccarthy K Co., Main street.
Every old Confederate soldier will recog-
nze the fidelity with which he has done
his work. II il indeed adm rable,. and IL
Mr. sheppard had never done anything
else TO entitle him to il, this should put
him high up on the list OF great artists.
T. J. Crowder, Esq, OF Staunton, Grand
Master |. o. q. f., was on a visit 10 our
city, and attended Friendship Lodge last
night To night he will be present at
Schiller Lodge, and on Thursday night
will visit Aurora Lodge.
Harrison PhGbus. Esq, the fleshy poet
and proprietor of the Hygeia Hotel. Old
Point, where. ~ he saws, "cvery prospect
pleases, and only man is vile" is in the
city. His all-rail route between Richmond
and Old Point being an assured fact for
next summer, he IL now engaged in the
perfection Of method for furnishing
every guest with n corner room fronting
on the Roads. and for keeping himself on
ice at every irate explosion OF constitu-
tionally dissatisfied fat women.
The alarm at 6:45 yesterday evening was
caused by tritiing fire at the residence OF
Mr.. Mahoney on. Gary street opposite
Clyde row.
Mr.. Smithcr, the private watchman on
that square, last night found open the back
door OF Whttct 4 Shepperson's printing
office. A. far as he could, see nothing
was missing.
As a conclusion of the donation and
pound party at 81. Paurs Church Home
yesterday charming concert was given
last evening at the Home by the st. PauPs
choir, assisted by Mr.. w. II. Grant, Jr.
Mcssrs. Robert Beverley, OF Fauquier
Il. II. Dulany. OF Loudom; A. ii. Drewry.
OF Charles City; Thomas Z. Wallace, OF
Orange: Stith Boiling, OF Petersburg, and
Rev. DR.. Lord, OF Co0perstown, Penn,
are stopping at the Exchange.
PetcrSoa'S MGgaziRe for March has been
received from \. Leonard, newsdealer,
9OS Main street.