Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-10-30

It is pleasant to find q four-leaved
clover, but beware of the poisonous "
plant.
The prospect for the corn crop is splen-
did. 1t is estimated that the tooth-toed-
boots have added at least ], 1000, 900 corns
to the crop of this country.
A north country fish-wife went to buy a
dress. ''None of your gaudy colors for
me-" she said at once to the man at the
counter; ''give me plain red and yaller."
The government may not get anything
out OF the Star-route thieves, but there
is satisfaction in knowing that the law
yers will make them poor if they keep
them out of prison.
A skunk went into school-house at
Ogdensburg, N. Y, the other day; and
at night all the fathers and mothers in the
district knew whether their children had
played truant or not.
''What building is that?" asked strang-
er of boy, pointing to a school-house.
"That?" said the boy. "Why, that's a
tannery!" And he feelingly rubbed his
back as he passed on.
There is more money spent for rum in
this country than there is for -four, and
yet people howl every time that flour goes
up, and don't bother themselves about the
whiskey that goes down.
DR.. Hall says that taking Il walk before
breakfast has put more people in their
coffins than the ailments they are seeking
to get rid of. The attention of tramps is
particularly called to this statement.
Chas. Dudley Warner remarks: Gal
though there are scattered through the
land many persons, am sorry to say, un-
able to pay for newspaper, have nev-
er heard of anybody unable to edit one."
An old woman came to the church tC
be married. In answer to the question
"Wilt thou have this man to be thy wed.
ded husband?" she said somewhat indig.
| nantly, ''In course l will. l come here
O. purpose!"
An exchange says: ''Kerosene will
make tea kettle shine as bright as new.
Yes kerosene will do wonders; it vii
| make whole house shine so that it cal
| be seen for miles, but it is dreadfully de
structiye to paint.
A clergyman who had just married 6
couple felt indignant when the bride
| groom gave him fee of only half dol
| lar, smiled grimly and said: 'Nevel
mind. You'll have to pay lawyer $l0(
| for undoing what have DONE"
The small-minded swindler arrested
for stealing railroad passes deserves the
severest condemnation. If he had simply
stolen the railroad itself he might hav,
become an honored and respected mem
| Der of the Wall street board Of brokers.
''Don't go chopping away at the branch
| es," said an old woodman to his son
clay your axe at the root of the tree.
| And like dutiful boy he did as he wa
told. He laid the axe at the root Of th
tree, and then went off for days fishing
A young man in Windsor came hom
''unable to support himself'-not finan
cially-and gave an excuse that he hat
''met with three strong men, who he'll
him, and forced him to drink" Thes
three powerful seducers, doubtless, wer
s'the world, the flesh, and the devil"
A pretentious person said to the lead
ing man of small village. "How woul
a lecture by me on Mount Vesuvius SUI
the inhabitants of your village?" ever
well, sir; very well indeed" he answered
"A lecture by you on Mount Vesuviu
would suit them a great deal better tina
lecture in this village, sir"
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