Smyrna times., 1882-08-09
WHOLE NO. l,4l4.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

The Independents motto: All for
one (Oflice) and one for all-oflices.
The toy-pistol has a rival. A Tor
onto boy died of lockjaw brought on
by drinking icc-water.
Edward Everett Hale's son has be-
come a mechanic, and is working in a
machine shop. There is some hard
sense left in Boston yet.
A little Philadelphia girl who was
shown a picture of Chinese woman,
with blackened teeth, exclaimed "But
where's the huekleberry pie?'
The Somerville Journal has come to
the conclusion that about the only way
to get the reputation for being Chris
tian is to be first-class hypocrite.
a Chicago man, while at sea, fell
overheard among three miles of sharks.
When rescued he said he was not
scared a bit in fact, never felt more at
home in his life.
Banana pie is the latest invention.
About the only fruit not yet worked
into the great American pie is the
onion. Come to think, however, even
that is put in pOtpies.
Why is it that the old-fashioned, de-
licious wild blackberries are never more
seen in market?-Erchdnge. Because
people are fools enough to buy the cul-
tivated gravel-and-vinegar variety.
Another member of the Rothschild
family is to be married. Rolling off a
log is the most difficult of feats COM
pared to the ease with which people
with lots of money can find loving
partners for life.
Three or four men who boss three or
, four great railroads or big coal COM
panies could do more harm to the
people of Pennsylvania in one week
than all the party bosses put together
could do in ten centuries.
Gladstone won't go to church unless
accompanied by two policemen. 1t is
supposed that sometime in recent years
:, he must have got caught in one of
;. those debt raising" meetings where
the preacher locks the doors.
II Near mountain resort the other
s day an awkward bear tumbled off a
:, rock right into the midst of picnic of
II young girls. The bear never before
'f had such a chance for hug, yet he
ran away. 1t is all nonsense to say
II that the lower animals can reason.
N A New York baby fell from third
&c story window one warm night last
&c week, but thanks to the policeman on
n. that beat it was not injured. The
n policeman who is a very fat parsonage
N was fortunately asleep under the win
u dow. Had he been awake he would
~ have run.
Ill A Southern man calls his wife Crysta
ne because she is always on the watch
H. Boston Transcript five were disposed
re to descend to this sort of thing, W.
ly might add that she called him Crysta
ne because she so often found him broke
Its There's chance for a heap of cheal
ste talk on this subje bject.-BostOn Post.
rd
ee. 1t is lucky thing for the public tina
.rd the Coal Exchange held its meetin
mic last week. The thermometer thel
m stood at 245 in the sun, and the mem
nv bers all agreed that an immediat
by advance in the price of coal was nc
len advisable. Had they met early thi
on. week they would certainly have shove
eat up the price about 81 ton.
lA A Newark man claims to have kille
-s.e blacksnake which had driven off
'uu setting hen and swallowed three of ii
;" eggs the other day, and in the snak
were found three nearly hatche
chickens. We do not doubt this stOl
Try, at all. Only few months ago whi
an in the suburbs we caught blacksnak
of lust after it had swallowed an old he
sess and the snake has been laying ev
but since.
and
-, goes to a certain newsstand after t
paper and brings it safely to its mastt
"e' The other day the newsman made
mistake and handed the dog an ind
D.,' .' pendent paper instead of the Dem
w cratic journal subscribed for; but t
dog would not take it. How he knit
the difference is a mystery, as
,,'' n =" human being can distinguish one frC
-. the other except by the name.
true Heard in a factory: "Yes, sir, I'm
lting independent. l am opposed to of
'rau- holders contributing for political p
and poses, 1t is downright robbery.
fine the way you know am superintend
hur's of this factory now. Let me show
smile the $500 watch, $50 cane and $500
lie is service the workmen have presen
es of to me. That fellow you see look
une- around outside there, looking
es of another job, did not contribute"
isfac- -
at of Amonv the MANY desirable result
t his pure blood are, an elastic step, bouy
q all Spirits, and clear complexion.
possessor of healthy blood has his fl
ities at command, and enjoys c
and quick perception which is impt
with BILE when the blood is heavy and S
berry gish with impurities. Ayers Sarsi
Il, ~. | ,.;lln l. fhn host hlnod nnrifiar and W