davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
NUMBER 81
Saved by q Bonnets
Texas Siftihgs.


The other day Col Fizzletop, of Ans
tin, took his wife out for drive. He
was driving very high spirited horse,s
when it occurred to Mrs Fizzletop that
she you'd like to drive that kind Of an
animal. She remarked:
81 have often heard you say, Colonel
that a woman did not know how to-
rlriye; now / want to show you how
badly mistaken you are. Give me the
reius."
"Not with this buggy replied Fizzie.
top trembling al over. II know you
can drive spiendidly, bat wait until to-
morrow and I'll borrow an old second
hand buggy from q friend for you to
practice with. l saw were woman id
Galveston smashed up new buggy so
that it cost forty dollars to repair it so
it could be used for kindling wood. Let
US keep this buggy to 60 to our funerals
in"
$50 you think cannot drive this
horse ?"
81 know you can drive we'll enoughi
but before going down the avenue let's
drive back and kiss the children and your
mother good-by, and then over to the
marble yard and pick out tombstone,
and then down to the undertaken and get
measured, and then" Z
tout to the lunstic asylum and leave
you there awhile You are talking like
you didn't have good sense"
"All right. just take the reins and
give the people chance to fresco the
wheels with their brains."
"You are In no danger OF losing any
brains. Get up!" said Mrs. Flzzletop,
as she took the lines.
"How polite the people are to get out
OF the way she remarked as the near
wheel scra2ed the bosom of a flying
drummer's pants, the end of one of the
shafts knocked the hat off the head of q
prominent banker, while life insurance
agent was acting as brake for the of
wheel without his intending it at all.
Just at this moment, when Fizz' etop
had given up all hope, just as the buggy
was about to telescope street Car full
OF psssengersjust as the drivers of other
teams we're whipping up their teams to
escape from the Flzzletop avalanche on
wheels, Mrs. Fizzletop saw new hat ID
store window, and in spite OF the fran
tic efforts Of the animal held him as in q
wise until Flzzletop had purchased the
hat-and thus the danger vas averted.
When lady has made up her mind to
have q new bonnet, two locomotives can
not pull her past the window.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14

eF"There's one thing like about
the New Version" said old Jones -
"That ere text about 'the boy bang the
father to the man is left out alt 'gether.
1 always thought that was wrong end
to-"
Smith, on the other hand, sal land
this is an actual fact), II don't want
anything to do with this nevfanged re-
vised what d've-call-it; the old ashton
ed Bible that Paul wrote is good enough
for me-"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
Horse.shed Christianity.

A Methodist society in Mendon, vt !,
has put up about dozen good horse.
sheds AZ the church This is prsctical
religion, and worth dozen exhortations
on "falling from glace" OF sancti6cation.
A msn who will hitch his horse to q
fence On a cold winter day, and do it for
years while he goes inside the meeting.
house to talk about faith and love, sane.
titication and election, lacks some es.
sential feature of the gospel al Christ
The world wants more Of the Christian.
ity which builds horse.sheds. pays zoe
cents on the dollar, treats the horses
kindly, cares for the stock, and is not
domineering in his family.-Termont
Tribune 4
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
Weather Wisdom.

When you wish to know what the
weather is to be, 60 out and select the
smallest cloud You see. Keep your eye
upon it, and II it decreases and aisap.
pears it shows q state OF the air which
is sure to be followed by fne weather
but il it increases in sizs, take your great
coat il you are going from home, for
falling weather is not far off. The res-
son is this: When the air is becoming
charged with electricity you will see
every cloud attracting all lesser ones to-
ward it, until it gathers into a shower ;
and, on the contrary, when the Huid is
passing off, or difiusins itself, then q
large cloud will be seen breaking in.o
pieces and dssolying.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
nxIn Tamaona ha, resided for m.nv

wIn Tamaqna has resided for many
years an old colored barber, who was
one day complaining Of his sufferings
from dyspepsia, and attributed his all
rent to the fact of his having no teeth,
thus being unable properly to masticate
his food.
"Well, Simon," said bystander, why
don't you get set OF false teeth They
wouldn't cost you much" 81
"Fslse teef!" exclaimed Simon. "Oh
no, sab! No, you don't! Ise had just
all de teef ] want in my mouf Ise suf.
tered more wifi de toofache dan ever
did wifi te despepsy. and was glad enut
for to git rid Of my teef. You don't git
no mo- ieef into my mouf--nn sah."
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
Jewett Scores a Victory over Van
derbilt.

COLUMBUS, o., March TN the case
of the State of OHIO in relation Of the
Attorney General vs. William H. VAN
delbilt ct al, the Supreme Court decided
in favor of the plaintiff by allowing a
Judgment of custer, thus declaring the
consolidation of the c. G & and c
n. & D. roads and leased lines illegal
The roads were bought up by Wander
bilt last summer and consolidated last
September under the name OF the OHIO
Railway Company. AS the system in
cluded most of the roads in the State,
Jewett ard Vanderbilt have bee1 in li,i
cation over the matter ever since the
consolidation was effected, AMI this is
the final adjustment of the case. 1t j:
held by The court that the lines running
from Toledo to Cincinnati and from
Cleveland to Cincinnati are competing
and under the Oaio statutes cannot bt
consolidated.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14

E $50 you enjoyed your visit to the
museum. did your" inquired a young
man of his adored ones little sister.
"Oh yes! And do you know, We saw
a camel there that screwed its mouth and
eyes around awfully; and sister said ii
looked exactly like you when you are
reciling poetry at evening parties"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
RE- The Medical Journal, OF Londor

RE- The Medical Journal, OF London,
England, gives tt lowing hint in the
treatment of sn JX:
"When the preceding fever is at it.
height, and just before the eruption al-
pears, rub the chest with croton oil sn6
iartaric lininent. This causes the whole
of the. eruption to appear on that part
OF the body, to the relief Of the rest. Il
also secures full and complete eruptio,
and thus prevents the disease from al
tacking the internal organs. Tais i
now the established mode of freshmen
in the English army in China and India
and is regarded as perfect cure.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14

The failure of Mr. Thomas Hughes
Rugby colony is snnounced by the Rug
bian, which says that the venture Was Sc
iasco almost before the echoes of ap.
plsuse over its beginning had died away.
The location of a settlement in the wild
mountains OF Tennessee was unfnrtu
nate, and the men who joined it were no
OF a kind 10 hew success out OF for
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14

ADVICE GRAT1s.-Ask no woman her
sge. Never joke with policeman. Do
not play chess with 3 widow. Never
contradict man that suffers. BE civi
10 rich uncles and aunts Take you
oldest hat tor an evening party. Away
sit next the carver, II you can, at dinner
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
Auehv
THE MAGIC OF A KISS.

IA u IVA hfAo1O oE "A N1SSs
81 have brought your dinner, father"
The blacksmith's daughter said;
And she took from her arms kettle
And lifted the shining lid;
"There's not any pie or pudding,
So 1 will give you this"
And upon his toil-worn forehead
She left childish kiss.
The blacksmith tore off his apron,
And dined in happy mood,
Wondering much at the savor
Hill in his humble food;
While all about him were visions
Full Of prophetic bliss;
But he never thought Of. The magic
In his little daughters kiss.
While she. with her kettle swinging,
Merrily trudged away,
Stopping at sight of squirrel.
Catching some wild birds lay;
And I thought how many shadow
OF life and fate We should miss
If always our frugal dinners
Were seasoned with kiss.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14

"You hsd better ask for manners than
money" said finely dressed gentleman
to 9 beggar boy vino had asked for aims.
~ askeio for what thought you had
The mSss Of, was the boys reply.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
Advertising Rates:

ELeeal advertisements charged ut the rate
of one dollar per square for first insertion and
hfty vents for each subsequent insertion.
Adr,inistrator's or Executors. Attachment
and Reed Notices. % 90.
Local Notices, per line, first insertion. 10
cents. and five cents per line for each additional
week.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
NOTARY PUBLIC.

THIN undersigned, having been appointed
Il | Notary Public, would inform his
friends, and the public generally, that he is
prepared TO ill Pensioners Blanks. admin
is.sr Oaths, take Dispositions, acknowlsdgr
Deeds, Mortgsgsr. and other instruments o.
writing. JOHN 5kffbko.
,prls,'7sJ 3ssllsville. Monroe Go. Ohio
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-03-14
U UNDERTAKING

Promptly and carefully attended 70. All
kinds of Undertaking Goods always on hand,
consisting of Cofins, Caskets, Shrouds and
Burial Robes Of all sizes. dec37.'81.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

falling through the air. The knees
after a few seconds become weak and
tremuleus, the ears ring as the drun 5
Of these organs are forced inward by
tbs air pressure, and the eyes shut IL
voluntarily as the beams Of the shaft
seems ts dash upward only foot or
two away. As one leaves the light of
the upper day the transition to dark
ness is fantastic. The light does net
pass into gloom in the same fashion
as ours merges into night, but there
is a kind Of phosphorescent glow,
gradually becoming DINNER. Half
way down you pass, with roar and
sudden crash, the ascending car; and
at last what seems several minutes,
but Is only fraction of that time,
the platform begins to slow up, halts
at gate, and through it you step in
to a crowd Of creatures with the
shapes Of men, but with blackened
faces, glaring eyes, and wild appear
ance of fenda'
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11
signing the Declaration.

Ia looking at the signatures to the
Declaration, not enc is written with
a trembling hand except Stephen
Hopkins. 1t was not fear that made
him tremble, for he was afflicted with
the palsy.
But one Of the residences of the
signers is attached to his name, and
that is of Chas. Carroll. It's said
that some one was looking over his
shoulder when he wrote his name, and
said to. him, There are several o
vsur name, and if we are uncuccess-
full they will not know whom to ar
rest He Immediately wrote "of
Carrollton," as much as to say if
there Is. reproach connected with this
l wish to bear my share; if any dan
ger, 1 am ready to face it. There
was genuine patriotism.
It was rather amusing, after they
had signed their names, to hear Ben
iamia Franklin say to Samuel Adams,
Now, l think we will all hang to-
gatbar 80 sCYes " said Mr.. Adams,
cor we shall all hang separately. -
Many have supposed that all the
names were signed on the 4th Of
July, 1776. Noise, it was sigaed on
that day by the President, John
Hancock, and with his signature it
was sent forth to the world. On the
second day of August it was signed
bv all but one Of the ffty-six signers
whose names are appended to it. The
other attached bis name TO it in Nc
yember.
The signers Of the Declaration Of
Independence were all natives Of
Ameticag soil but eight. Sixteen of
them were from the Eastern New
Eagland Colonies, fourteen from the
and eighteen from the South
ern Colonies. One was q native OF
Maine, nine were natives Of Massa-
chusatts, two Of Rhode Island, four
of Connecticut, three of New Jersey,
five of Pennsylvania, two Of Della
ware, FIVE Of Maryland, nine Of Vir-
ginia. snd tour of South Carolina.
Two were born in England, three ia
Ireland, two in Scotland, and one was
born in Wales.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

A nice young woman Of Dooly
county. Ca, vas milking cow a
few days ago. vixen @ Young man
bounded over the cow-penfence. The
Iad kissed the lass and Off they ran
across the field to the Office of JUS
tee. who married them.
One of the AtlSndo City papers
makes Unknown thar Thomas Collins
of Bakersviile, Is the possessor Of q
calf that vixen sixmonlhsoldweigh
l04 pounds and measured five feet
ard six inches ia the gir,h and stands
four feet six inches.
This is the kind OF an item one
finds I'm the agricultu-alpapers: "a
Hancock county, Co., farmer sold
during seven months of this year
three hundred and fifty dollars worth
of butter from eight commea cows.
Or an item such as this; There are
2.443.593 milch COWS in the United
s.a.es-oae to every four persons.
A farmer at Gr,dley, Cal, hunts
geese with q COW. 1t is said he has
trained the animal TO va.k out to
where q hsck Of geese have settled
down IN the gran, browsing all the
way along, he walking alongside on
the off side fJom the geese, and when
near enough the COW lies down and
he shoots into the flock ana captures
thirty or forty.
A little boy named Artie Van
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

Wrinkle, who lives near Bellyille,
Kansas, while leading a COW to a
field by a rope, was killed in the fol-
I wny masuer: The morning was
cold, so he threw the rope about his
neck and put his hands in his pockets
to keep them warm. The COW started
to ruiz and bafare lie could unwind
the ropI he vas choked to death.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

Think Of robbing starving chill
dren OF bre&d, of binding eyes with
bitter tears, of running men, body
snd soul, taking their last penny and
then turning them out at midnight to
perish If the curse of God ought
TO rest on anything it is the liquor
traffic.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

A correspondent asks fer infOrina-
ton as to the simplest and
quickest way to make a hole for
blasting purposes. Catch on a nail
with your new pants Just as YOU are
going TO q social dancing party, and
if there wsn't be blasting eRough for
the next few minutes, there's RIO 500
thing syrup in swear words.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

The memory Of Washington Is
guarded sacrodly in Tennessee, even
by police magistrates. A young man
figured as the father Of his country
in a masked ball, and became up
roariously drunk. The justice duly
fined him next morning, assuring the
offender that if ne had been drunk
as a private citizen the ordinary fine
would have been sufficient, but per-
sonating Washington and the ap-
pearing in this oblivious condition
demanded heavier punishment. In
classic phrase the justice said, Il will
have to gently stick you for $50. l
will not have this patriotism bust
ness brought into disrapute.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

buying "A lead Of Wood.
Bright and early the other morn
nga fsrnor arrived at the eastern
market with a load Of four-foot wood,
and the first person to accost him
was q woman who asked;
How much for the weod2'
F5u- dollars
Nave yog got over cord there?
eyes.
~Fu give $500
CAMS Joit."
SLAM 81 widow With six children. p
"Css't help chat ma'am, the price
four 5olla~s
Shalzappeare3 but it was dull
aav ia tie wood market and st the
.ni Of ara hour when she returned
ae mar was stin tbecs.
sis this tao same load:' she asked.
The very same.
Ag dry voodE
-E,ry stick of It"
No rotten chunks in the center:
"Is there's q single one III give
,-7r ala, whole load"
TtouTll give YOU $500
Can't do Il"
II ann widow with sick hus-
band aad seven children to sup
port
"Yes. I know, but four dollars is
the price.
AT noon she came again and Of
fered the same price, AID although
he st,ll refused, g bright idea popped
into bis head. lie drove around the
corner and unloaded almost squarter
of a cord. rearrauged his blankets on
the load. snd drove back to the stand.
Tn about half an hour the woman
passed by and called cut:
Haven't yoU sold Yet.'
"Eo."
Tu give YOU $3.50 in silver-al!
liz quarters,
'Nyeli, I guess I'll take it, and It'd
as lief have silver as anything else.
lie drove six blocks through the
maI with q grin on his mouth, and
he cacEled and chuckled over the
Joke as he ualsalol the wood. She
placed fourteen quarters in his hand
az he dlaled. and he hurried of as
he 4w her looking over the pile
Tast might have ended the uausae-
ton. but it didn't al the same. In
Che course of the next twenty min
utes q man closely resembling the
wood seller was seen to halt a police
man on Gratiet avenue, go down
into his pocket fourteen successive
times, after quarter dollars, and
Ahea he had Gshed up the last one
he vas heard to shout:
every burned one Of them hiss
got hole 10 it half as big as my fist
and I'm a villain if ] don't carry this
case clear to the Supreme Court.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11
Deepest Coal Mine in America.

Ike deepest coal mine in America
is the Pottsville, in Pennsylvania
The shaft is 1916 feet deep. From its
bottom, almost a third ola mile down,
POS cars holding four tons each are
lifted every day. They areruN upon
9 platform, and the whole weight Of
six tons Is boisted at d speed that
makes the head swim, the time occa-
pied in lifting q full car being only a
little more than a minute. The
hoisting ana lowering Of men into
coal mines is regulated by law in
that State, and only ten can stand On
q platform at once under penalty ola
heavy fine. However, carelessness
cannot be prevented, and unaccus-
toned visitors are appalled, by it,
A person Of weak nerves, says a
correspondent, should not brave or
deal BY descending the Pettsville
shaft, The machinery works as
smoothly as a hotel elevator, but the
speed is so terrific that one seems
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11
Editorial Reform.

The work of going into a newspa-
per Office and whipping the editor Is
yearly becoming more dangerous. A
reform in this matter has been slow,
travelling with bunyoned feet over p
rough read, but it has at last arrived
and now editors are expected to take
care of themselves. Until recently,
whipping a newspaper man was
strictly constitutional. If man
made bad trade and saw no other
means Of revenge, he would seek the
nearest newspaper Office and whale
the editor for not keeping him posted
in regard to the other mans horse
1t made no difference whether or not
he was a subscriber, for it was the ed
itors duty to see that he received an
occasional copy OF the paper anyway.
Reform is attacking the newspaper
business from the right to the left
wing. Editors VINO were formerly ex-
pected to get drunk three times 8
week and entertain lofty contempt
for clean shirts, nov dispense with
one drunk and suffer an occasional
change of raiment. The old time ed
itor was man Of classic education
and breath that needed sailing. If
he did not dress in an eccentric man
ner and wear q battered hat he was
rot a genius. He did not know the
value of money, and boosted that it
was impossible for him to carry any
change in his pocket. His day work
consisted Of writing one or two er-
ratio articles, and then going out
with party Of politicians. If ne
visited the Office again during the
night, he had to be assisted up the
steps. His object in calling again
was not to do aay work but to read
an article to political friend. The
editor OF to-day is a business man.
He goes to work systematically. he
tries to dress like a human being
and does not feel insulted if you re
fer to him as man. He does not
boast of any particular college train
ing, and does not glory in classic de
bauch. He knows the tread of the
bill collector, a sound which is ia
deed more pleasant than the shuttle
of the politician. 1t was an easy
matter to whip the old timer, but
the new man defends himself This
Is warning to certain man who
has been hanging around this office
with malicious linger. 1t is to be
hoped that it IS plain enough to be
read by him that runs and that the
running viii be done in an opposite
direction.
The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1882-01-11

G. REGA week made q home by the 81
\ ! Fdustrious. 'BcsGusiness now be-
" e. fore the public. Capital no; reed
ed. We will start You. Men. women. boys
and girls wanted everywhere to work for ~.
Now is the time You can work IN spare
time, or give your whole time to the bns.-
ness. No other business will pay you nearly
as well. No one can fail 10 make enormous
pay, by engaging at once. Costly outf-
and terms free. Money made fast, easily
and honeraby. Address TsUE * Co.,
Augusta, Maine.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-26
OFFICIAL PUBLICATIONS.
Vacation Of Part Of Block II, Dayton
and IrVinc'S Addition.
CRY CLERKS OFFICE,
ST. PAUL, Mimi, October TO, 1882.

WHEREAS, petition has been fled in this
office, as provided by law, by order of the Com
mon Council Of the City of st. Paul, asking for
the entrance to Maiden Lane, in block II. Of
Dayton i Irvine's addition to St. Panl, and
described as follows: Commencing at a point
on the northerly line Of Lot 26, in Block ii. of
Dayton & Irvine's addition to St Paul, twenty
four feet westerly from the northeasterly corner
OF said lot; thence running southwestern along
the sOutherly line of Maiden Lane 1915 feet to
the noTtheasterly corner of Lot Is, in said block
thence running northerly at right angles to Selby
avenue, TO the southerly line Of said avenue;
thence ronniug easterly to- the place
ssey are the owners Of ma
jority OF all the property owned on the line of
said Maiden Lane, and on the line Of property
asked to be vacated, and the facts and reasons
Tor such vacation are as follows: That said
Maiden Lane, as now laid out, intersects Selby
avenue at an obtuse angle, making 1t, II 60 used,
inconvenient of access and difficult 10 drive
through the entrance, that the portion OF land
forming the entrance to said lane has never been
used as a driveway, but entrance to Selby ave-
nue. has been made through piece of ground
lying Immediately west OF the entrance to said
lane, which land the owner thereof proposes to
deed to the city ''as public highway and as an
entrance of said Maiden Lane to Selby avenue,''
should the vacation asked for be made.
Now, therefore, notice is herby given, that
said petition will be heard and considered by the
Commo0 Council Of the City of st. Paul, on
Tuesday, the 21st day Of November A. D. 1882.
at 7:30 O'Clock p. M, at the Council Chamber,
in the City Hall.
By order of Common Council.
THOMAS A. PRENDERGAST, CITY Clerl.
oct 1I-wed-4w.