The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-02-28
Sepse and enoqse,1se.

The mean temperature is what disgus,s
man with every climate.
1t is.a difficult thing for dog with
out tail to show his master how much
he thinks of him.
why men drink is what stageers US,
says woman's j,urnal. What men
drink is what stsggers them.
The man who invented corsests was
foolish, for he might have known they
would all go to waist, or on bust.
SPAWN says that the assertion "Time
is money" is false, for he often has lois
Of time on bis HANDS bat no money
Baehelo, smokers admit that an amber
moutb-piece isn't as tempting as cher
ry-red one, temptingly puckered
can that's the pillar Of Hercules ?"
she said. adjusting her spectscles. ezra
cious, what's the rest Of his bed-clothes
like, l wonder p
Silver dollars with hole. in them are
pa nfully numerous, hut they are not so
pain 'ully numerous as holes without any
silver dollars around them.
The intelligent compositor left out the
letter d in paragraph about q beautiful
actress. and informed the public that
crows focked to see her wherever she
went.
When Adam vas in his bachelorhood
he found his nights lnnelv. and always
welcomed the morn with gladness Sill,
for all that, he WAS hal pier when Eve
came.
"What colored dishes will you have.
ma'am" said the polite clerk to the
boarding -house keeper.
"Ol. most any c,lor that won't show
dirt" was the reply.
An Insignificant animal:
"If man really wants to know how
little Importance h.-Is. let him g. with
his vie to the iress-makers" :"
".rhat prisoner has very smooth
countensnce," said the judge to the
sheriff.
Yes" said the sheriff, ''he was IRON
ed just before he was brought 10 I"
There is something radically wrong
about our professions when a pious
minister only gets forty cents for joining
couple, ald W. cked lawyer gels $40
for untving the same
"Will you tell me-" asked an old gen.
temal Of laiv, wnat Mrs. maj.
den name was"
"Why, her maiden aim was to oct
married, of cour-e," exclaimed the lady
A learned writer asserts that '.Heaven
keeps our tights burning while we sleep ~
Well, it does look that way when The
figures on gas bill stare the average
citizen in the, lace
Here rests his head upon the lap of
earth, youth to fortune and to-tume
.nnknown- Too tnurti bnnzine erept un-
derneath his girth, and played the mis-
chief with bis temperate zone.
When girl who has encouraged al
Young man for about two wears su llenly
tells him that she can never he more
than q sister to him, he can for the first
time, see the freckles on her nose.
"Csn there be happiness where there
is nc love 2" sOlemnly queries an author
in book on marriage. N mnch hap
piness. hut il the girl IS awfully rich,
there can be lots Of iun.
(which do you like best, your father
or your mother ?" inquired the visitor
Of little chubhy-fist.
sOh, like ma the best She spanks
me with the soft side of her band; pa
takes shlpgle."
Germany has solved problem for US.
In that country more girls marry at
ihirtv-five than at nineteen Now we al
know why girls of thirty.five remain
nineteen for go many years; they don'l
want husbands.
At twenty, man is sure he knows
everything; at thirty he begins 10 have
grave doubts: at forty he knows there
are some things he don't know; at fiflv
he is certain that he will never again
know as much as he once knew.
A coIored preacher, in translsting to
his hearers the sentence; "The har-
vest is past. the summer is over, and We
are not saved" put it: "De corn has
been cribbed, dere amt any more work,
AMI Satan lie still foolin' wild dis com.
munity."
Tommy. did you hear your mother
calling you3" a
"Corse did"
"rhen WIZ. don'i you 60 TO her a.
once ?" --,.-.
"Well, yer see, she's nervous, and It'd
shock her awful II should go to sud
dent" ~