The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1882-09-02
Finn. Fact. and Fiction.

10 err l. DtlIIliD, Nultu EOOo " IiO'N
the superhuman nature OF the editor OF the
independent newspaper.-BoSto7 iran
script.
A fashion item says the belle OF the pc
Rod now wears at her waist-beit little
music-box, family playing single tune.
The average American girl can put on
enough airs without attaching mGsic-boX
to her waist NOrriSto,rn Herald.
Miss Corson, the cook and lecturer, holds
that oatmeal and bcef-shin soup is all the
food man needs, but as for her, she wants
fried chicken and four kinds OF cake.-De-
trou Free Press.
Charles Lamb was once asked by q
cheese-monger il he should send home
some fine ripe Stilton cheese for him. "NO,
th-th-thank YOU" said Charles. - II you
will give me bit Of twine | cou-cOu-
could, p'raps, l-l-l-lead it home!"
Cbinoline is the very latest remedy for
-diphtheria. Ii was invented by a Chicago
book agent and poet in partnership; and
ii may also be used as rhyme to crinoline
and acsnbined toothpick and sad-iron.-
Puck.
."Is this the smoking-car?" asked q
lady retYeating from the door Yes,
marm," replied great numbering fellow,
with a hLckened clay pipe between his
teeth; e" bat the seats are all full How
somedever, if youuwant Whit right bad l
guess you can go into the baggige-car. -
Boston Transcript.
An alderman pays.a reporter s. TO write
him speechtNoring the erection Of a new
schoolhouse, but aftrr delivering eleven
cents worth Of the oEltiol, he is Informed
that there was no quest on before the sneet-
ing. and be falls back and breaks pair o.
suspenders worth thirty-.iv,e cents. How
much is the great man cut OF pocket:-De-
fyoa Free Press.
"What Ais This Heart on Nj inc 2" is the
heading OF story that is gOina the rounds
OF the papers. We suppose he saw his
girl out riding with another fell ow. There
Is nothing that makes the heart ret up and
pound ribs and carom on the O ther vital
parts and jump up and down like chuut
dasher, and then get tired and kee, so stu
you think it has stopped beating 'oreIer,
rs to see your girl out riding with mother
fellow, we are told.-PecL'S Sun.
The Car will pass the summer in Il ,e ceL
lar. The Scoville family will pass thes e.'son
in quarrelling. James Gordon Bennett twill
keep as far away from the North Po ie az
possible. The Government will pass the
summer and considerable part Of the M
ter in trying to try the star-routers. Hub Nll
will pass the summer in assessing; Go W.
eminent employees who don't pay up w VI
pass in their designations. A large nun r
Der of playwrights will pass the summe.
in writing the great American comedy
Boston Transcript.
She knew he was fly-screen man by the
samples under his ann, but she held the
door open and permitted him TO say
"Madam, notice that you haven't fly
screen at any door or window
Not one" she answered
"You must be overrun with fiesf"
owe are.D
"Flies are a terrible nusance?"
eyes, indeed"
"Ana this seems to he good locality for |
mosquitoes ;"
ooh, yes, SIR"
81 presume they bother you nights 7"
every much"
"And q great deal Of dust blows into
house not protected by screens!"
4" A great deal, SIR"
"And how many windows have you in
the housey"
"SiXtecn."
"Each one ought TO have half size?"
Eyes. sir"
Il
than any other man in the business"
al think you can"
"Do you prefer plain green or fgured!"
"Well, always did like plain green"
every well; will measure the windows
and take your order"
"You needn't trouble yourself any fur
ther," she quietly replied.
"What! Don't you want screensr"
"No, sir. The other day the woman
across the street had ten minutes CONVEX
sation with a tin-peddler, and she's had
her nose In the air over me ever since A
fy-screen man is about three times as high
as a potato-man, and Pye been talking to
you to let her see that she isn't the only
lady in town who can put on airs. She's
mad as hen by this time, and now YOU
get up and dust OF I'll have my dog run
you clear TO the river."-DehOn Free
Press.