Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-07-07

There are more ladies connected with the
press in Mississippi than in any other South
ern State. The Mississippi papers are the
poorest in the country.
The Washington Star relates that day or
two ago man dropped into the office Of
Maryland newspaper and remarked to the
editor that he had heerd Jerry Baldeye was
dead" In dazed sort of way the editor
nodded sympathizing yes, and then took
down the slate to see IL Jerry owned any
thing. Twenty-four hours aiterward it
dawned on him that Garibald was the un.
fortunate referred to.
Latest market reports in the Chicago Her.
aid The movement looking to the sale of
potatoes in strawberry boxes and the yend-
ing Of beef by apothecaries weight is weak
ening.
The Cincinnati Commercial goes so far as
to admit that it might be well TO close liquor
saloons on Sundays from a. m. to 4 p. M.
saying that such ''c,osing would be mark
of respect for the church going hours OF the
day, and accommodate the people who have
habit of partaking OF beverages i. the
evening"
Do not wear your troubles and misfortuues
all on the outside like an overcoat, but keep
them hidden within like a ragged back vest
-LO'ceR Citizen.
Beef is so scarce aud high that gentle
man OF this city is having a srloin steak set
n
A steam whistle has just been finished at
Bridgeport. of which the sound can be heard
fifty miles, but do not tell any circus man
about it, or next season We will have a whole
series OF them in calliope. Philadelphia
Ners
Sample conversation between three young
ladies First-"Were going to start Satur-
day for the beach. When are you going ?"
Second-"We'r going next Wednesday"
Third-"Wc're not going until week from
Friday" -"Te-he-he. Isn't it too
funny We're all going one at time, and
no two OF us going the same day. Hc-he."
Thrd-"He-he | think it is just too alb
surd for anything" Chorus "Te.he. he
he !"-LOceN Citizen.
A few years ago faithful department
clerk at Washington was given two months
furlough and made a trip to Europe One
evening as he was slowly saunterng along in
romantic byway of Sicily, picturesque
native suddenly seized his horses reins ahd
addressed him substantially as follows
Excuse me, my dear sir, but | notice that
you wear pretty jewel in your shirt, and
feel warranted in entertaining the belief that
SO fine-looking gentleman carries pocket
book inclining to embonpoint. Now, while
absolutely disclaiming any intention OF hurt
ing your feelings orputting you to the slight
est Inconvenience, | beg leave casually to
direct your attention to the fact that this pis.
tol which ! carry is loaded, and that | was
never known 10 miss my man. | may add
TO you in contidence-and you will be glad to
hear 1t II you are interested, as am sure YOU
are, in informing yourself in regard to the
peculiar customs of the countries through
which you travel-that l have frequently cut
oil the ears and noses Of gentlemen who de-
clined to respond to similar invitation"
In telling this thrilling tale of adventure be-
You'd the seas the department clerk always
stopped at this point, being evidently over
come by his emotions and when his deeply
interested auditors urged him to proceed, he
merely remarked in a cool, collected. off.
hand manner 'Well there is very little
more to tell. glanced into the pistol barrel
held close to my head ; noted the cleaning
knife that the fellow carried at his waist I
thought OF the way bullet in my brain
would feel, and Of the figure I'd cut at
washington without my ears and nose and
then In low, firm voice, trembling with gen.
crosby, informed my companion that pro-
posed making hima voluntary contribution.
~ Y, Tribune.