The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1882-02-22


! Cause Of Science Through the
Medium OF Hls Wi1o Irus-
ttated by that Unree-
sonable Woman.
Mr.. Calvert SnufIiebean is engaged
daily in dispensing canned go,,is to the
public in well-known house on Front
street, and hao no business to bother bin
head about Spiritualism, mesnlcrism
and that sort Of thing, but he does. In
fact, he 10 one of those men who are al
ways discovering wonderful cotnci.
dencek9 like thinking Of a peFs0n just 10
fore you SO him, talk Of the angels
and they are sure to appear" kind Ol
business, lmintlreading, and the like.
In an anfbrtunate moment recently, the
mail carrier left at his Office = copy ol
the London Lancet, to which he IL a
regular subscriber, which contained q
remarkable article on dreams. 1t told
how some physicians bent on mind
study, took sleeping man, did various
things tn him, and then woke him up
and were startled to listen to the won
derful dreams that he had experienced,
apparently occupying days, but really
covering = few minutes. Snuf1lebcan's y
ambitiOn was fired: his enthusiasm
aroused. His hobby took the bit in its
teeth and gallOretl away like au Eng
lish steeplc-chaser. He would conduct
some original experiments and write
the result to the scientific jOurnAls. The
| name Of Snufflebean should take ito
place among the foremost thinkers Of
the age. Who should lie his subject?
1s,~~v 81
from Sleepy Hollow? No! 1t would
nliscOnstrue. His wife, Yes! She
answered all the requirements.
He went home to dinner impressed
and was unusually al,sent-minde(l. His
wife, who was one of those plump, clev-
or specimens who never bother busy
people, noticed his preOccupatiOn but
said nothing. At his suggestion they
all went to bed ut half-N,st nine, half an
hour earlier than usual. EnscOnced he
meath the led clothing, his spouse vell-
tured query as to what troubled him,
hut received in response: Its nothing,
love, u business problem, 70 right to
sleep" Half an hour later che maize Il
second affectiOnate inquiry, and was
again put off with an affecttOnate reC-
On,n,cndatiOn to tune up her nOstril as
usual.
Now if Mr.. Snuftielnan had been
verse,l in wOinan's ways, he would have
known :,lat the very way not to get his
his wife to sleep was thus to advise
her. There dawned % her royal Ameri-
can mind tl'at there was something up
in which her assistance was not needed:
Il nocturnal picnic to which she was not
invited and she ut once lHcaIne ~ pro-
fOundly s!eeplt<S as Bohemian owl on
Jinks night. She pressed little more,
automatically, to see If he was wide
awake and really wanted her asleep, and
then she settled down with eyes closed,
breathed regularly, and looked a. sound
asleep 40 Mr.. Hemphill's richest pew
renter, while she winked the left eve
hardest. all 10 herself, and waited To sec
what strange ille;, had taken possession
OF Snuffiebsan. That scientist lay per-
fectly still, clluckled with satisfaction a.
she fell sound asleep, AMI waited until
the dreSsing-rsNm clock struck two, by
which he knew it was u quarter to
twelve.
Then he gently bent over her to re:.s-
sure himself. She achieved = snorclet
and yearned IL box his ears. Content
with the inspection he slipped out Of
t',l. resumed slippers, unnlentiOnablcs
and Grcs,ing-::..own and sat down to
think Il moment. Her heart beat fast.
She WAS going to- find the villain out.
Then Ec rose. crr|'; softly around t" her
and commenced to tickle her right ear
and nose witt, feather. Her first inl-
pulse was /" laugh. hut it quickly pass
ed away. Snufflepean was daft. What
amusement could any sane man lind in
the dead of night ticf!;n" his wiit'S ear
with IL feather St:.i .l:s ny quiet ami
having got tired with ..w feather !l''
went over t" give her IL rous!ny dream.
Fishing Il butcher knife out O. his pt'ck-
ct hr came over ana i'u,'in.. the spread
dowm :. little tightly pressed the back
Of oi the blade OH her throat, just Is the
London doctors dii. She thought 1t
was ihe ciy... and , K Thought further
that she was alone with II murtierols
nani:,r, ami. willie her ,.-art almost
stopped heating and her two braids
>to'a! on end a',.| she was w;!nc :S'
ghost, she knew that the only way t"
save her lie Wa; to keep still. l,istc"
III numbering her tlicn and ther the
maniac pu! away the knife and began
gently pulling her led c'oth., "tf"t her
until only her night'lrt>s - III
:cr;.nS,a between her and the
night atmosphere, and i.er feet
We're perfectly l'arc. Slu:ilche;'h u
Wa, in ccstacy. All unconscious % the
widc-awake dynamite cartridge ri emo
ton that might cxi,'o'i. any minute ht
pvo.vc,l,,i 10 try the third experiment
to make her dream she was going to II
fire, I,E holding II lighted match for an
in~tan. L" the ball nf her foot. He sue
rc";:"d. She SAW him light the mat "'i
:.iH; creep Stc:thiiy toward her AMI
she was :oiil:, /" h. burned to- death
where she l:,,;. With cnc wild despair
ing shrek sh. grabbed her dra,crie>
lcapcd from the he'd and ju'npt'! for t:'c
door. Snuiiicbear. agilast with sur-
prise, leapcd after her, fearful she would
alarm the house. lie called on her t"
stop and pursued her while on the wings
q; Che wind she sped al ny the hall
screaming like 4 10rty-nlile locomotive
with whole drove of COWS on the
track. Up the stairs she shot, burst in
tO her mothers room and fell gasping
Oh the bed just as s;nutilcbean, his eyes