The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-03-03
A FIend in Human Form.

he was gentlemanly ana aHaDIe
looking man who walked into the man.
aging editors room Of the San Fran
cisco Post, and quietly took a chair
until that accomplished journalist had
finished an editorial with the scissors.
What can we do for you ?" asked the
editor, finally, replacing the paste-brush
behind his ear. Haven't brought in
poem on autumn ?'' he continued, frown.
ing suspiciously?
Not at all, my dear sir" replied the
stranger, with a smile. 50 I trust don't
look like a poet. have dropped in to
consult you on practical business prop
osition."
"Ayl an advertisement, said the
journalist, benignantly. Something on
the star ad line, I suppose ?"
In a certain sense, yes" replied the
business man. 81 want to know your
best inside rates for bounding"
"For what p asked the writer.
Why, for bounding. l should like
to be thoroughly well-hounded in your
paper for the next-say three months, if
it didn't come too high"
"What the dew"
Permit me to explain" interrupted
the matter of-fact customer. 81 am an
attentive reader of the local papers, and
l notice that whenever a man, cor
poration, or monopoly has streak of
good luck, or gets to making money
rapidly, the said papers Immediately
jump on his neck as the saying is,
and hound the successful person or
Trorh hn
capped convicts, or something like that"
You mean our blackmail cotempora-
ries ?" said the editor, vindictively."
don't think they blackmail any
body in particular" said the stranger,
thoughtfldly, that is, not nova days
the people seem to have dropped on it,,
as the hoodlums say /; but that isn't the
point that affects me. The point is that
of course these papers never hound any
body who hasn't got dead loads of coin.
Everybody recognizes the fact, and the
result is that the minute they start in
against man, his credit goes right up"
81 begin to drop" said the moul-
der of public opinion, scratching his
head.
"Why, of course. lisa dead sure
proposition and so it occurred to me,
as my business has been dreadfully bad
this year, that I'd have to brace up my
credit or go under. I've got to do it or
bust Now if [ can arrange for your
paper to come out tomorrow afternoon
with slashing article accusing me of
being q grasping monopolist or bloated
corruptionist, or something else rich
and comfortable, it would about fix
me up"
cts big idea," said the editor,
calmly; land you'd better go down and
see the business manager at once. I'll
write an editorial myself calling atten-
ton to you as bigamist and a swindler
OF orphans and widows"
" DO So" exclaimed the far-seeing
business man, and he arose to go.
Whatever you do, don't spare me- I've
got $12, 900 note to meet on the 18th
so you must get your work in at
once. "
"Tll attend to it." said the editor,
earnestly. "I'll work over your early
career myself, and have three or four
afadavits accusing you of bribery and
brutality, ready for next Saturdays
double sheet. I'll send our most sar-
castle reporter round to interview you,
bright and early Monday morning"
Thanks thanks ! 3" said the Gus
toner, fervently. 81 begin to see my
way clear already. God bless you :"
and he tripped down stairs with heart
full Of hope and encouragement, while
the editor at once set to work on leader
entitled GA Fiend in Human Shape"