Iron County register., 1882-01-26
An Esthetie Daughter and SuperIa.
tive Practical Pa.

ROckland man, who has grown COM
fortably we'll off in the small grocery
line, was sent away to ''female col
slege." and last week arrived home for
g the holiday vacation. The old man was
in attendance at the depot when the
train arrived, with the old horse in the
delivery-wagon to convey his daughter
and her trunk to the house. When the
train had stopped bewitching array of
dry goods and wide-brimmed hat
dashed from the car and flung itself in
to the elderly party's arms.
4" Why, you superlative pa!" she ex-
claimed. "I'm SO utterly glad to see
you"
The old man was somewhat unnerved
by the greeting, but he recognized the
sealskin cloak in his grip as the identi-
cal piece of property he had paid for
with the bay mare, and he sort of squat
itup in his arms, and planted kiss
where it would do the most good, with
a report that sounded above the noise of
the depot. In brief space of time the
trunk and its attendant baggage were
loaded into the wagon, which was soon
humping over the bubbles toward home
Pa, DEAR" said the young miss, sur
veying the team with critical eye, edo
you consider this quite excessively be-
yond?"
"Hey?" returned the old man, with
puzzled air; ''quite excessively beyond
what? Beyond Warrenp L consider it
somewhat about ten mile beyond War
rem, countin' from the Bath way, if
that's what you mean
"Oh, no, pa, you don't understand
me-" the daughter explained; 81 mean
this horse and wagon. Do you think
they are soulful?-do you think they
could be studied apart in the light of q
symphony, or even simple poem,
and appear as intensely utter to one on
returning home as one could expressP"
The old man twisted uneasily in his
seat, and muttered something about he
believed it used to be used for an ex-
press wagon before he bought it to de-
liver pork in, but the conversation ap-
peared to be travelling in such a lone
some direction that he fetched the horse
resounding crack on the rotunda, and
the severe jolting over the frozen ground
prevented further remarks.
"Oh, there is that lovely and consum-
mate mai" screamed the returned col
legiatess, as they drove up at the door;
and presently she was lost in the en-
brace of . motherly woman in specta-
cles
"Wen, Maria," said the old man, at
the supper table, as he nipped piece of
butter off the lump with his own knife,
can how d. you like your school?''
"Well, there, pa, now you're shou-
I mean, I consider it far too beyond"
replied the daughter. cit is unquench-
ably ineffable The girls are so sump-
tuOusly stunning-I mean grand-so
exquisite-so intense. And then the
parties, the balls, the rides-oh, the
past weeks have been one sublime har-
mony."
"l s'pose so s'pose so," nervously
assented the old man, as he reached for
his third cup, "haf full ''-s' but how
about your books-readin', writin',
grammar, rule o. three-how about
them?"
ssPa, don't, :" exclaimed the daughter,
reproachfully s'the rule of three! gram
mar! It is French, and music, and
painting, and the divine in art that has
made my school life the boss-I mean
that have rendered it one unbroken flow
of rhythmic bliss-incomparably and
exquisitely all butt
The groceryman and his wife looked
helplessly at each other across the table.
After a lonesome pause the old lady
said:
"How do you like the biscuits,
MaryP'
sThey are too utter for anything"
gushed the accomplished young lady,
s'and this plum preserve is simply poem
in itself"
The old man abruptly rose from the
table and went out of the room, rubbing
his head in dazed and benumbed man.
ner, and the mass convention was dis
solved. That night he and his wife sat
alone by the stove until a late hour, and
at the breakfast-table the next morning
he raped smartly on his plate with the
handle of his knife and remarked:
Maria, me an your mother have
been talkin' the thing over, an we've
come to the conclusion that this board
in'-school business is too utterly all but
too much nonsense. Me an her con-
slider that we haven't lived sixty-odd
consummate years for the purpose of
raisin' curiosity, and there's goin' to
be stop put to this unquenchable fool
ishness. Now, after you've finished
that poem of fried sausage an that SYM
phony of twisted doughnut, you take an
dust up. stairs, in less'n two seconds, an
peel off that fancy gown an put on a
caliker, an then come down here an
help your mother wash dishes. / want
it distinctly understood that there amt
goin' to be no more rythmic foolishness
In this house so longs your superlative
pa an your lovely an consummate mas
runnin' the ranch. You hear me, Ma
ria?" ,
Maria was listening. On.
r. Consier.
One of BostOn's Car Conductors.
They were riding home from the re-
fhearssl the other afternoon, and discuss