Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-10-06
CONTINENTAL HUMOR.
What the Giddy Frenchmen and the
Phlegmatic hermans find TO Laugh
nt In their Newspapers.

OHe ol tHe WlllOr rencn comic papers
gives picture of woman dressed en-
jeuae fite, but looking very passee, ask
ing her husband, who wears avery severe
frown.
"How do you like my toilet ?"
Charming - is the reply.
Come, then, give me kiss"
But did kiss YOU onlya week ago"
he replies, and it is at this point that the
frown is supposed to come in.
The enfan terrible is frequently met
in the French papers. Some one ex-
planned to little boy how cultivated
mushrooms are grown in the dark, and
how they grow in Il single night
us that why mamma puts her hair
away in drawer at night, he asked, $50
it will grow out longer before morn
ing?'
The mother-in-law is alpo frequent
subject Of French wit
"The Emperor of China has lust mar
ried three wives. The poor man Three
wives are nothing; but three mothers
in-law!"
The Frenchman is not too acute to
sometimes make bull.
A father, is enraged ut his sons con-
duct, exclaimed
10 INTO your room, You scape-grace,
and lock the door and then bring me the
key You shall not leave the house to-
day."
Another is a bull from high oflicia
source:
The mayor of a provincial town is Wis
iting school, where the pupils are as
signed seats according to their scholar
ship. In his address to the school he
says
81 see with pleasure that some of you
stand near the head of the class. That
is very well but there are too many near
the foot. You ought all to study hard.
BY hard work you can and you ought all
to get into the first half"
The following is perhaps not French in
origin, but the sympathetic landlord could
be of no other nationality.
A lady is seeking apartments. The pro-
prietor asks
Has madame any children ?"
Three, monsieur y and the lady SEEM
ed to sigh as she added, "they are in the
cemetery"
Poor lady !" returned the landlord in
low voice, as he brushed tear from his
eyes. Then he added aloud IF mad
anne will follow me, l will show her the
apartments.
They met the lady's approval, and the
lease was signed.
Now ! will go and bring my children"
she remarked.
Your children! thought you said
they were in the cemetery 2"
Exactly. left them to take walk
there with their nurse"
University students are frequent sub
lects Of the comic artists pencil in Ger
many. One of the papers gives pic
ture OF II student standing on II doorstep
with his hand on the bell-knob a SER
want has Just opened the door, and asks
Whom do you wish to see?"
Il? Nobody" replies the student
Here is notice, Please ring the bell
loudly, and | only wanted to be accom-
modating-thats all, ,"
Another picture is of a students room.
where two students are talking and smok-
ing.
"a. "What do you think of the daugh-
ter OF the new rector of the university ?"
B. Sorry but haven't seen her ex-
cert tipsy,"
A. what Fraulein Selma tipsy?"
y. mo, no. 1t was who was tipsy. I"
The latest issue of Fliegcnde Blaetter
gives the following:
A shoemaker is dunning q customer :
You got the boots six months ago now
they are worn out, but haven't received
the money for them. 1t is time you paid
Inc the fourteen marks"
Customer: "What Shall / psy YOU
fourteen marks for pair of orn-out
boots?' .
German humor frequently suggests
chronic hard times A picture represents
man and his wife sitting at a table in o
restaurant, He is looking disdainfully at
coffee cup in his hand ; she is casting q
similar look on glass OF beer before her.
The title is, "A new system of econo-
my" Some one asks the husband
"How happens it that you have taken
to drinking coffee, while your wife drinks
beer ?"
every sin pie, is the reply if drink
beer drink more than glass, and if my
wife drinks coffee she drinks more than
one cup so, in order that we spend less
during the hard times, drink coffee and
my wife drinks beer"
Beer is often, directly or indirectly, q
subject for German wit, us in the follow
ing case. A picture represents n typical
German lying in an unmistakable Ger
man bed, which is made narrow and near
ly as long as an average human being.
Upon table at the bedside are two glass
es of beer, each holding litre, and the
man holds third in his hand A friend
is standing near, and asks:
"What does this mean2 You are sick
abed, but still drink as much beer AZ
ever"
stYou don't understand 4" replies the in.