Connecticut western news., 1882-04-12
WIT AND WISDOM.

ELECTRICITY in Franklin's time was @ wonder, but we now make light of 1t.
 WHEN 8 pretty Irish girl is stolen away they always suspect some boy cotter. ,.s,....., -,,,.,.... ~ - BY becoming an Odd Fellow an old
 bachelor may become grand sire.-- Picaytt,,s. '''s
 "P1EAsB do not tumble down the shaft," is the polite notice posted ct
 the mouth of Nevada mine.
 AN eminent historian traces base ball
 back to the time when Rebscca went
 down to the we'll with a pitcher and caught Isaac. n s...
 FIPsr passenger--"1 travel third
 class on principle" Second affable ditto-"Do you, now2 We'll, I do 1t
 from wsnt of principal"
 SOME of those New York critics will realize the dangers that surround them
 when Anna Dickinson again takes to the lecture platform. .-Rochester Her. ald.
 A PHILADRnPHIA woman having read that certain remedy was good for au pains, tried cleaning the windows with it. She knows now some panes on which it is not worth cent.
 A SPRINGFIELD dairyman furnished butter to circus company recently, and wanted to get in on the strength of it. The ticket agent examined the but ter, and granted the request.
 IN India eggs are hatched by the heat of the sun performing the part of Q hen. Therefore, let it no longer be the boast of Englishmen that "the sun never sets in British provinces. STATISTICS disclose the fact that of every ten children born in Wales, less ', than seven ever reach their twentieth year. The others are worn out learning to speak Welsh. Burlington HasvEeye.
 GREAT trials, as dangerous illness or sudden loss, and great movements, as high enthusiasm and overmastering love, break ife's crust into fragments and lay open the hidden heart.--PhsI-
 lips Brooks. ....., ....5 | AN Ohio man on his travels found a shell on the Gettysburg battlefield.
 He took it home and put it in the stove
 to see if it was real. It was genuine;
 but the stove is the most glaripg imits-
 tion you ever looked at ~N A YOUNG lady was showing an elderly !.
 woman beautiful cluster diamond
 ring, a present, when the old lady
 dropped her spectacles to the end of
 her nose and exclaimed "Lor sakes,
 thought 1t was an old eeed wart r ...,- | LUMINOUS: First swell: "I never did
 like 'May.'-not nearly so pretty as
 Mary wonder they don't change the name of the month to Mary" Second swell: 'Clevaw ldeaw, by love 1 Wake
 oysters good to June, you knowl" "WHy do good little children go to heaven when they diea" asked the teacher. Because" answered the
 bright boy at the head of the class,
 "because it's unsafe to trust children
 in place where there's fire" WATKINS GLEN has been sold. We
 don't know how much Watkins got for 1t, but it isn't much of 8 farm. We wis. .ited it once, and for the life of us we couldn't see where @ mau could raise enough corn on it to winter cow.- Hasoheye. 'e [ A FATHERS love for his little family his darling wife and sweet, sweet pratt
 tlers--is too touching ever to be men. , tioned outside the sacred precincts of , home; but he won't give up his whisky t and tobacco for them. .--LeaisViits Cotr- , iey Journal ns a@t sslva AMONG the gifts of newly.marricd l pair, the other evening, was broom 3 sent to. the lady, accompanied with the sentiment: "This trifiing gift accept . from me, it's use I would commena--in 2 sunshine the bushy part; in storms. the 8 other end" ....= .. s,f qra . Andre,0s' Queen says l: ''The politeat man we ever met was Washington fel~
 low, who always took of his hat when . he met a cow." That fellow probably
 felt that he owed debt of gratitude. to l the COW family for saving him from the
 ravages of smallpox. . A PH1nApE1pH1A man told a postmas-. ter from a rural village that his post office clerk was ''no gentleman" and
 the postmaster got as mad as hornet,
 and came near getting himself arrested
 for assault and battery before he re-
 fected that his clerk was a lady.
 CLEFT us play we are married" said r little Edith, ''and will bring my dolly, O and say, See baby, papar" ''Yes F It replied Johnny, "and will say. Don't s bother me now. l want to look through
 the paper p Children have strange t ideas of grown folks ways, now-don't Il theyP e "HAl" says friend, to a gentlem an 'e who is the incarnation of the spirit of y contradiction, "I heard you had fallen r. out with Durand. Whats the matter Is I thought he was real decent fellow" le "Him 2" Confound him, we never could r, pull together. leave it to yourself, l. how are you to get along with @ man y- that always agrees with youS" ,.gl ct HERE is 8 lildle of Sir Isaac New l toms that "pure intelligence" who O. caused revolution in astronomical Id studies. It was sent by Sir Horacs te walpole to lady, who guessed 1t, a. though Walpole could not: zlr 2, Four people sat down at table to play,