Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-03-25
AUTOBIOGRAPHY UF In AGNOSTIO.
IN FOUR PARTS.

My name-No, 1 purpose in this sketch
to assert nothing but what l can bring for.
ward sound evidence to prove. The ante
cedent improbabiiity of any mans having
been christened Diggory Nonsuch is sutfi-
cientlv obvious ard the remoteness of
Penzance, my alleged birth-p place, has pre-
vented veriGcation by personal inspection
of parish registers. The point itself is Of
minor consequence, since Diggory Nonsuch
Andrews Is PROFESSIONALLY the sppellation
so when have been taught to respond.
Already, when Z fourth.form Elton boy,
was no less powerfully than mournfully
impressed by the spectacle before me of
some 500 young minds daily according i'm.
plicit belief to fresh facts, historical and
scientific, handed down to them on testi-
mony and trust alone facts scarce one of
which their teachers could have defended
on rational grounds, much less have rigor
ously and scientifically demonstrated. The
germs Of the principle that has placed me
apart from, and | trust above, the unre-
hective herd and that eliminated in my
stern resolve, neyer-hoWever habitually /
might be compelled to act as if | believed
never, so help me reason to allow my mind
TO accept positively what admitted of
doubt. were naceat IA me, even at this early
period. And as all persons, in advanced
age especially, ere liable to coTuptions Of
memory, such as counterfeit recollections,
waking dream fancies or confusion of imag-
nation with reality, sometimes even to the
extent OF derargIug the sense of identity,
before leaving school l desired my cousin
Frank, an adept ut such arts, to tattoo on
my arm three distinct impressions of
Z" Floreat Fiona, with the lilies, the
device of the, college. So to this day,
whenever the statement that I am an
E5onian IS called for, I have only to raise
my sleeve to ooTrobrste by the evidence OF
my senses the testimony of memory-in
itself, and when applied to remote past,
often Elusive and inadequate.
AT Oxford similar speculations ceased not
to beset me, and with ten.fold force. OF
all my university associates, not one could
be said 20 live IN the region Of calm, accu.
rate observation. Nothing could exceed
the contempt with which l learned to re-
gard the overwhelming majority OF my fell
low. men, ready and eager at every moment
of their lives 10 embrace facts and state
ments. and dispense with close scrutiny
Which Of them ever probed the founda-
tons Of any particular belief Which
could have logically justified his faith in
say the existence of Alexander the Great,
or the motion OF the earth? Enough for
them was the verdict of competent
judges." As though it was final ! As
though competent judges" had not also
believed in Romuus and Remus, and the
motion OF the sun ! My conviction that
the only true standpoint is the negative
one was not only established, but It's i'm
portance az the one certainty so possessed
itself OF my mind that could no longer
ignore its lessons IN my course of action.
After taking nay degree l CHANGED, before
home, to pass some days under
the roof Of a garrulous maiden aunt l
mention this, IS il was her conversation
that drew my attention to some peculiar
circumstances connected with my first ap.
pearance in this world, which forced me to
ponder the possibilities Of error to which
we are exposed in such matters, when re-
posing undertaking faith in the statements
of interested witnesses. And the particu-
lar application OF my theory of philosophic
doubt, thus prompted, was one that ma
terially affected nv future.
/ came home with flying colors, a first
class and other honors distinction that
seemed to surprise and delight my parents
in about equal measure. My mother, in
deed, could talk OF nothing else.
" 1t was always my prayer to live to be
proud of you, Nonsuch, she observed one
day, when we were alone, with playful
fondness but you have upset all our cal
culations, I must tell you. Brought up as
you have been, that your conduct should
be all we could desire we had perhaps a
right to expect, But that our son should
distinguish himself as scholar"
g Is most singular" l chimed in;
auite concur. Il is a well-known fact that
nearly all intellectual men have had intel
lectual mothers. Marked abilities must
have some origin, and can usually be traced
to the maternal side. Now in you, my
dear mother, though perceive in you no
actual deficiency, these qualities are, to say
the least, not strongly developed. "
Nor yet in your father, she reminded
me, nettled l could not contradict her,
as ] unused uncomfortably.
" As to that, she began, by and by,
% We might as we'll wonder how you came
to be so good-looking. 1t was not for
beauty your father married me, my dear
nor"
&C. Nor is that, nor ever was it, his strong
point. My intelligence supplied the last
words she did not utter. My own pre-
possessing image met me in the glass oppo-
site, like a challenge to the veracity of my
earliest and most cherished convictions.
well, she resumed, caressingly,
with your handsome face and your tai.
ents, you may be wonder prodigy.
What, then The better for you, the
prouder your mother y
-" Are you my mother ~
half started as the phrase, expressive
of doubt could no longer eonscientiously
disregard, escaped me involuntarily, aloud.
"Nonsuch p Impossible to describe her
horror-stricken tone.
Am your son p / repeated, subject
ing her countenance TO a narrow scrutiny
as / spoke. But her shocked look might
have been caused equally well by simple
establishment, or sudden dismsy at appre.
hended exposure.
Do not misunderstood me, / urged
mildly e" / am far from my denying my
parentage. A confident assertion to that
effect would be as unwarranted as one to
the reverse. Project your imagination,
mother Il may call you so in the absence OF
point of view, at my reasons for suspendinl
Judgment"
She looked dumbfounded, and listened
with increasing bewilderment. went on
81 am your only child. After six years
of matrimony you and my father were a
wretched couple. You were childless,
and this, the only flaw in your domestic
bliss. was fatal one. The family prop.
erty seemed likely to fall naturally to my
upcle-a ecapegrsce relation you were
ashamed of-and his heirs. Supposititious
children have been introduced into house.
holds from slighter motives than these.
The practice may even be fre9xent, since
only those clumsy attempts come TO light
where the artihce fails. The deception
would have revolted you, no doubt, and
all deception is wrong. Still the strength
of the temptation, and, above all, the laad.
able motive-the bequeathing of your
wealth 20 81 individual carefully trained
bv Yourselves instead OF to my cousin