The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1882-07-22
0ait and 1umur.
Anecdotes of the school Room

position All the boys were compelled to
write. and were allowed to choose their own
subjects. One boy declared that he could
not do it. He could not think of anything
to write about. Nevertheless, he was obhg-
ed to become one of the unwilling Compel
itors. When the day of trial came, he read
his composition, or rather part of it, for
he was not permitted to read it ALL He
began :-aMy composition is about spring
Spring viii soon be here. How do know
that? Because it came last year, and the
year before that, and the year before that.
aThe grass will soon grow green, and
the trees put forth leaves. How do |
know that? Because the grass grew green
and the trees put forth leaves last year,
and the year before that, and the year be-
fore that.
AAnd the little lambs viii come, and
they'll gambol, and play and have good
time. How do / know that ? Because
the little lambs gambolled hast year, and
the year before that, and the year before
that.
s.That win do, johnny" exclaimed
trustee, tired of the iteration, and johnny
marched from the stage 10 his seat repeat
And the year before that and the
year before that, and the year before
that.
The audience screamed with laughter,
but Johnny's composition did not gain the
prize.
A country schoolmaster had two pupils
TO one Of whom he was partial and TO the
other severe. One morning il happened
that these two boys were late, and were
called up to account for it.
lyon must have heard the bell, boys
why did you not come
Please. sir. said the favorite, Il was
dreaming thar was goingto Margate, and
thought the school bell was tie steamboat
bell.
VERY wen, said the mastef, glad Of
any prelext to excuse his favof1te
And now, sir, turning to the other,
s'what have you to say
Please, SIR. said the puzzled boy, ST
/ was waiting to see Tom of.
Schoolmistress fpointing to the first let-
ter of the alphabet): Come, nov, Whist =
shat
scholar shant't tell you.
Schoolmistress You won't. but you
must. Come. now, what Is it
Scholar l shaat't tell yoa. ] dldn {
come here to teach you, but for yon to
teach me
A schooIboy being asked By the teacher
how Re should fog him, replied
IF sou please. SIR, should ike to have
Il upon the Italian system Of pennanship-
the heavy strokes upward. and TIE Gown
ones light,
No MoRE BuTTER.-The Rev. Mr..
Darlington. of Charlotte county, Nas be.
longing to one Of the old families. was an
szoqnent preacher and universally popular.
He vas careless about the management q
his large estate. while his brother, Paul,
was noted for his thrift and industry. The
preacher usually bought his .butter FROM
Paul. One Sunday morning after break
fast, and just az the reverend gentleman
was starting for church, be dispatched his
servant over to his brothers house for q
fresh supply Of butter that would be need.
ed az the Sunday diuner The negro was
told to hurry back and report the success
Of his mission The 4reacher was IN the
midst IL his sermon, and had eloqnently
related what Matthew, Mark. Luke and
John had said in relation to che subjeei
matter Of his text. just as the breathless
negro had arrived AZ the church and had
meekly stepped in to take seat, the Hey
Dir. Darlington. already considerably warm
cd up. said. in laundering tones :--ss And
what does Paul say The negro, think
ing the question addressed 70 him, replied
ii the hearing Of the whole congregation
e3Iarse Paul says y how you can get any
more butter tn you've paid for dat YOU goi
last week. Imagine the rest Of thu
scene
No TINE TO TELL 4 LiE-Jesse e
had the reputation Of being the biggest
lar IN Georgia and was never known e
come out behind. One boz day Bill Il
81 On the shady side Of his barn. After
dinner he saw Jesse riding In great haste
toward town. Bill hailed him and wenl
10 the gate. jesse asked what be wanted
Stop and tell Us big lie, said Bill ( NJ
time for lying now. said jess, Your I'M
Gle Soil died suddenly an hour ago, and
am going for the coroner and colin
Bin ran to the house and told his wife
She gathered up the children. He hitched
the horse to the wagon, loaded his family
and posted off four miles through heat and
dust to Uncle Soils. On arriving he fount
the family and two neighbors IN the larg,
kitchen. Uncle Soil buried--to the eyes il
a half watermelon. The surprise was mu
tual and explanations followed Wen,
said Bill. i asked Jess for big lie, anC
not only got It but was fool enough TO be
lieye ii. / wouldn't believe him again !
knew hewas dying. - Aarietta journal
THE LETTER THAT STARTLED A Hrs
BAND.A Broad street merchants wife
YESTERDAY gave him the following letter
with instructions that II should not b,
opened until he got to his place of busi
ness 81 am forced to tell you something
that / know VIII trouble you, but it is my
duty 10 do 50. I am determined you shall
know Il: let the result be what it may.
have known for week that this trial was
coming, but kept it to myself until to-day
when it has reached crisis and | cannot
keep Il any longer. You must not censure
me too harsIiy, for you mnst reap the ben
efits AZ wen al myself, do hope il won t
crush YOU. The -four Is all out. Please
send me some this afternoon | thought
by this method y0l would not forget it.
The husband telephoned forthwith for a
barrel of the best -four in the market to be
sent to his home instanter.-Na shriue
ADsericun
s:Uncle Pomp, said Colonel N. to a
former slave, II hear that some of you
darkies down on the lower place are afiict-
ed with the itch
aBein as its you, boss, replied old
Pompey, hesitasingly, Il must confess dat
de LaWd has seen fit to affiick us dat way
for fac
AAh Doing anything for it n
s.Yes, sals oh, yes, sab.
What.
sWhg we-er-we am scratehin