Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-01-15
Briggs Centenarian.
Exchanged


The usual crowd was down in the
store the other evening, when the con-
versation turned on old men, Squire Pit
kins saying that he knew an old man,
aged ninety-ive, who had recently
walked eight miles in the burning sun to
purchase hobby horse.
This brought Briggs to his feet. He
slowly rolled around the cud of tobacco
In his mouth, and remarked:
s'That ere man Of yours, Pitkins, was
ragged old SLOUGH, no-account mig
ger, compared to an old rooster that l
know"
''What about your friend?" inquired
Pitkins.
'sWouldn't you think that a venerable,
gray-haired old man who can skip rope
for two hours, at the age Of one hundred
and seventeen, and not feel tired, is some
thing REMARKABLE"
"And when the same individual draws
his wife and daughter in hand-cart to
to the circus, four miles distant, and
then wins five dollars by riding the trick
mule, don't you admire him?"
"Of course"
"And when you continue to hear that
he ploughed ten acre lot yesterday,
and after he got through played leap
frog all the evening for relaxation, does
| not your admiration fade into venera-
tion?"
Pitkins said that he guessed SO, and
then asked the name Of the gay and fes-
| tive old gentleman.
'Knott, replied Briggs, warming up
to his subject Abijah Knott, and tough
knot he Is. Now, gentlemen, maybe
you'll think Tn lying when I tell you
that he attributes the longness Of his
life to his always smoking seventeen
cigars day, and never forgetting to
wash the back of his neck. In fact, I
never saw such lively old potato bug.
| We had ball week or so ago, and he
was there, every time. Danced all the
time, played the fiddle for the Virginia
reel, helped get supper ready, and sang
sAuld Lang Syne' like lark, coming
home in the morning.
"He's got an amazingA muscle for a
man of his age too. What do you think
of carrying piano up four pairs Of
stairs and lowering Herring's safe out
of the window.
sBesides he likes his fun, the old man
does. He went down to wrestling
match the other night, threw the
champion of the United State over his
head and won the belt. And, come to
think, have any of you noticed that gor-
geous vest he wears?"
Briggs waited for a moment, but as
nobody seemed to have noticed it he con-
| tinued:
"Well, he got that as first prize for
climbing the creased pole at the state
fair. It made quite talk at the time,
and one of the York picture papers had
an illustration of him as he appeared at
the top of the pole, waving his vest in
Triumph, and scraping the grease from
his Sunday pantaloons.
sIs-is Mr.. Knott married." feebly
inquired timid-hearted auditor.
"Muchly," sententiously replied
Briggs. ssHe had six wives, and it looks
simply beautiful to see how nice he keeps
their graves. Got big sunfower at
the head of each, and weepin' willer
planted square in the middle.
'But he amt a going to join them
yet. Not much. He is on the lookout
for material to make seventh funeral,
and it would do your heart good to view
the old feller's rig out. He's parted his
wig in the center, got his false teeth
patched up, and wears kaleidoscope
stockings with low-necked shoes. Tell
you what, he runs the young men close.
'sBut he never allows pleasure to in
terfere with business. The very day
after his third mother-in-law's funeral
he went right to work and dug up over
two thousand hills Of potatoes, just as if
nothing had happened"
sDid he know any of our Revolution
ary heroes?" asked Squire Pitkin.
s'Did he? You bet! Played tag with
George Washington, hooked apples with
Tommy Jefferson, and he told me him.
self how he and Miles Standish famed
old Powhattan by hitting him with a
brick while playing ''Duck on Rock. !"
"That centenarian of yours" inter-
rupted Baldwick, sis an unblushing old
liar. Admitting that he is one hundred
and seventeen, how could he know Miles
Standish?"
'By gum!" cried Briggs. 'sthat's so!'
And then he retired to the darkest cor.
ner of the store. and kicked himself all
the evening for not being able to tell a
story straight.