The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-07-20
SHORT BITS.

Ills, oHe JuSulce OI our uSnC: the right
to life and labor Bayard Taylor.
Electricity in Franklin's time was a
wonder, but we now make light of it.
doctor, examine my tongue" said a
good woman. 1T needs rest" replied
the doctor.
It's always easy to spot perfect gen.
tleman. He never eats soup with his
knife if anybody is looking at him.
A young lady who has studied all the
"ologies" wants to know if the crack of q
rifle is where they put the powder in.
The strawberry crop is failure in
many parts of Mississippi, owing to the
rains washing the pollen out of the
blossom.
A cold climate is very favorable to
grass and the northern pastures carry
more stock to the acre than southern pas
lures do.
Bank Examiner Ellis thinks the Sd
national bank embezzlement by Owens
will amount to 5000 900, but the bank s
credit will not be effected.
A steam tug struck on the rocks out
side of the Tyne river, England, on the
30th, and IL persons were drowned while
lowering life boat.
Happy is the father whose children
are so young that he can delude them
into the belief that the procession is all
there is of the circus.
"The day wore on, says the narrative.
Well, what did it wear?-Ex. "Wore
the close of the day, of course" is the
response of contemporary.
A Protestant was trying to convince q
Catholic that the belief in Purgatory was
all folly. "You may go further and fare
worse" said the Catholic.
The comet, like the ore in quotable
silver mine, is Sin sight" but it takes q
good deal of faith and pair of strong
optics to see it. Cow Cour.
1T is estimated that sixty thousand
Americans will go to Europe this sum-
mer, and many times sixty thousand
Europeans will come to America.
I see by the daily papers that Anna
Dickinson has been playing Hamlet"
What on earth have ever done to Miss
Dickinson ?-I William Shakespeare.
Why not let those forgers, Brockway,
Doyle Il Co., Just take the Treasury De-
partment aid run it? They seem to
know more about it than anyone else.
A friend of the author who had come
in just at the end of the latter's new
play-"Oh, my dear fellow! your play
was charming, delicious-and so shortp
Benjamin Lavine, retired merchant
Of Philadelphia, bequeathed all his es
tate, valued at between $40, 900 and $25,
600, to the Jewish Hospital Association
of that city.
"a fellow must SOW his wild oats, you
know" exclaimed the adolescent John,
Eyes" replied Annie, "but one should
not begin so soon after grading. Bos-
ton Transcript.
The will Of the late Hannah W. Rich
ardsoa. prominent member of the So
ciety of Friends in Philadelphia, bestows
SCI 900 in cash and 465 shares of valua-
BILE stocks upon various benevolent insti-
tutions.
Eyes" said fresh arrival +. ON Bodie,
the other day, 'the girl married up on
the lode, last month, is q perfect lady-a
perfect lady, sir. I don't suppose I've
heard her swear real hard more'n twice
this spring."
"Afraid?" exclaimed Madame Patti,
with charming humility, when asked if
she did not fear assassination in Russia.
mot bit of it. The Russians can al
ways get another Gear, but never an
other Pattir'
The New York Sun says that it is per-
fectly natural for dog TO attach himself
to something and love it. Don't believe
it. He is no sooner attached to An old
oyster can that he loves dim distance
detroit Free Press.
The army worm is reported to ba play
ing sad havoc with the meadows in the
vicinity Of st. Louis. In southern Hi
nois the wheat crop is reported dam
sged one third, and the worm is now eat
ing the heads of the grain.
An euterprising farmer proposes es-
tablishing.a goose farm in Texas. He
will raise geese for their feathers alone,
and will keep them on grass and alfalfa.
He thinks they will yield three crops .
year and " i'll pay dollar cash.
Digltated stockings divided so Is to
separate the toes % glove does the
fingers) are now being introduced, and
an eminent medical authority recon-
mends them. a. they are likely TO pro-
mote cleanliness, prevent troublesome
soft corns, and abolish foot deformity.
John K. Ince went to see Anna Dick
insons Hamlet" Somebody asked him
how be was pleased. ''She's oil right,
said he. 1 like her we'll enough, but
she's got q. bad play. Len Grover ought