Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-10-06
FUN

F. u N
HE DIDN'T s'W'AR BUT ONE GALLUs."
The following incident is contributed
to the 'Modern Argo," by lady who
emigrated from the 'Old Dominion"
Some years before the.war. in those good
old days when the people in Virginia
lived not in the towns but in the country.
it was the custom of every sutton to abide
for some days under the roof of his pros
pective father-in-law. These protracted
visits gave the wooer and wooed an excel
lent opportunity for improving acquaint-
ance; the former could see for himself what
kind Of people he was going to marry into,
while the father and mother, the brothers
and sisters, the uncles. aunts, cousins and
servants Of the young lady were thereby
enabled to find out good deal more about
the little idiosyncracies of the lover than
is possible during the parlor visits of these
degenerate days.
Now. once upon a time, ere this good
old way was departed from, in the coun-
ty Of H, there lived young lady who
was considered by all odds the belle of the
county. Many of the first men of the
State had been among her admirers. Even
the genial Col. Nat Claiborne, now of st.
Louis, who used to carry IN his gig bag
of silver dollars to shy at the servants, has
made her home one of his favorite stop
ping places in his journeys of Knight Err
rantry to and fro over the land. But none
of these gallants had found favor IN her
fastidious eye. At length it occurred to
her that marriage was meet and proper she
would look with less GOODNESS upon the
first really eligible offer that came in her
way.
It so happened that brother was soon
to graduate at Hampden Sidney College,
and of course all the family went to the
Conmencement-in fact, in that day and
time, the aristocracy from far and near
were always to be found at these Com
movements" Here she met the man
that it seemed would answer to T. His
home was several counties distant froa
hers, and though his family was not quite
up to the mark. yet his broad acres and
scores of slaves were sufficient to compen-
safe in a great measure for this deficiency.
He fell desperately in love with our hero
inc, and during the few days they both
spent at Hampden- Sidney he was all de-
votion. at length it was made clear that
his intentions were serious by request for
permission to visit her at her home; for
etiquette did not permit gentleman to
address young lady elsewhere, and such
visits were not requested except by those
whose hearts and minds were single to
that end.
He came. True, his table manners were
not such as might have been desired, and
there were several other little things no.
ticed by the young lady and her rather
hard-to-please papa; but in the main it
was concluded that he would do very well.
He evidently saw that things were work
ing to his mind, and showed it by look and
tone and walk. He was clearly convinced
that all that remained was for him to pop
the final question. This he regarded as
now only a matter of form, and SO. cost
poned it to the parting hour.
That hour came. His conveyance stood
ready at the gate and the question-was
popped. No words can depict the look of
CONSERVATION that came over his face
when it was folio wed by a fiat refusal
Her mo" was spoken in sound SO GER
tain and with look SO decisive as to mean
"never come again-never ask again.
He took his departure disappointed, cha
grined. bewildered manage, he wonders
to this day what could have been in the
wind.
will tell you what was in the wind. for
it was who spoke that NO. The MORN
ing before my lovers departure, Cicero
my fathers servant, his valet de chanbre,
who had waited upon every one who ever
spent a night under that roof, and who as
instinctively knew gentleman as setter
dog knows quail, came to me and with
look of earnest solicitude that show ed
that he had at least made no false point,
spoke these words: .'Dat ar man won's
do for you, young mistisss, case he don't
war but one galluss!''
A MICHIGAN LIAR.-"Let's see, they
raise some wheat in Michigan. don't
they?" asked Schoharie granger of
Michigander.
''Raise wheat? Who raise wheatY No sir:
decidadlv no air IT, raises ifealf WIN IL
we undertook to raise wheat in that State
it would run US out. There would not be
any room to put our houses"
but I've been told that the grasshop-
pers take good deal of 1t.
"Of course they do. If they didn t don't
know what we would do. The cussed stuff
would run all over the State and drive US
out-choke us up. Those grasshoppers are
. godsend, only there ain IT half enough of
'em."
us the wheat nice and plump"
Plump! Why, I don't know what you
call plump wheat, but there are seventeen
In our family, including ten servants. and +;
when we want bread we just go out and
fetch in kernel of wheat and bake it,"
do you ever soak it in water before
using it?"
sob, no; that wouldn't do 1t would
swell little and then we couldn't get it
in our range oven.''
When Sir James Fox was Bishop of
Winchester, he rang for the cook to bring