The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-03-24
VARIETIES.

| What is the difference between Il reddish
| horse and horse radishS" asked Brown,
| intending to puzzle Patrick but Patrick re
piled at once: "A reddish horse is Il horse
| that is little red, but horse radsh is a
| horse of another color"
Appropriate! A Philadelphia boy was
asked ifhe ever prayed in church and answer
| ed, 80, always say prayer like all the rest
| do, just before the sermon begins" Indeed VI
responded the astonished querist, "what do
you sayY Now lay me down to sleep"
Didn't match: How are you and your
wife coming on ?" asked Galveston man of
| a colored man. "She's run me of, boss
| What's the matterw | is to blame, boss l
gave her splendid white silk dress and den
| she got so proud she had no use for me. She
lowed | was too dark to match dc dress"
Hi where did you get them trousers 2"
asked an lrishman of q man who happened to
be passing with Il pair Of remarkably short
trousers on 81 got them where they grew
science" said Paddy you've pulled them
a year too soonw
Scored a Point Master Tommy (he had
been very naughty and was now amusing
himself with his Scripture prints)-"Here's
buhlCl III tllt llOIlS llCu -ilulllllu klllCuu-
| tiously,) "Ah what was he cast into the lions
den for?" Master Tommy with triumph
"Cause he was good"
He was just home from dancng.schoo
did you have good time, my little man ?'
asked his father. YES, sir; n real good time
| danced every time except the last" And
why not thenY" asked the father because
Mr.. Papanti would not let me; and il was
real mean, for there were two or three empty
girls"
Biting off his nose to spite his face ::
Don't talk to me |" angrily exclaimed Blivens
to his son don't tell me that you don't care
anything about what your grandfather or
your great-grandfather thought about these
things. You must remember they were my
ancestors, you young rascal respectable men
were my ancestors, sir, and wish you could
say the same of yours, you young rascal"
-IIumoring customers: "Yes," said a
| lady customer, these are very pretty; but
haven't you something more expensive ?"-
| The gentlemanly clerk took down another
package of the same goods, remarking brisk
| ly: "Oh, yes, maam: here is something
which will cost you a dollar more per yard,
but it is much finer you will notice" OF
course she took the highest cost place, be-
cause it was the highest.
"A little girl, three years old, who was
charged with breaking flower from its stem
said very decidedly, mo, I didn't break it,"
The one who had charged her with doing il
insisted that she must have done it, as no
one else had been in the room, but she said,
"'Deed, deed, didn't" Thinking to make
her confess, the other said: Now, Ada,
| see Il story in your eye" Her reply was,
well that's one | told the other day, for |
didn't break the flower And it was found
that she didn't.
| Constable Jones held an execution
against farmer, and when he called for q
settlement the agriculturist took him out in
to big pasture and pointed out a wild steer
as the particular piece ofproperty to be lev
led upon. Jones chased the steer around for
a while and then sat down and taking out
his book began to write. "What are you
doing there?" asked the granger. "Charg-
ing mileage" replied the constable, without
looking up. "Do have it all to pay" gasp
ed the rancher "You bet" Then take this
tame heifer here Ican't stand any such game
as that"