The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-09-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

Good qualities are the substantial
riches of the mind; but it is good
breeding that sets them off to advan-
tage.
"A Nevada woman, if she happens
to be feeling just right, can gain thirty
five feet on bear in a race of an even
mile.
"A Hartford firm has turned out
belt four feet wide and ninety-six feet
long. and a woman with waist to fit it
can secure bargain.-DetroH Free
Press.
There is not in all China 9 native
surgeon who can set broken leg or
arm. People in that country are sup
posed to break their necks when they
meet with an accident.-DetrOit Free
Press.
"a constant reader makes inquiry
as to the authorship of "Patience." As
in the case of the letters of ''Junius"
and the poem on 1.-THE Beautiful Snow"
the authors name is not positively
known, but it has generally been attrib-
uted to Northumberland.
"A girl from Cincinnatah
Kept on growing fat. and fattah,
Though she dieted on battah
For yeah.
In vain she tried to scattah
All the adiposal mattah,
Till the doctor said she'd bettah
Stop her bean.
Baltimore american.
"A Montana vigilance committee
postponed a lynching matinee for two
hours in order to allow the victim to
shake in a rattle in which he had
chance. Thus doth the spirit of Chris
tan magnanimity crop out even in the
rough and uncouth wilds of the VEST
Chicago Herald.
"A New York belle met with a sad
loss while returning from a summer re-
sort the other day. By some means her
diary, containing the names of all the
gentlemen she had become engaged to,
dropped out of the car window, and now
she can't tell which of her male friends
have right to kiss her.
While a tourist was in Palestine he
took a sail on the Sea of Galilee. After
visiting the different places of interest
he returned to the landing and asked:
"How much for the trip?' '.Ten She
kels!'' responded the smiling boatman.
'Ten shekelsr' said the traveller, why,
that is an outrageous price" ''Well,"
replied the skipper, "that's what
they've been paving ever since the sea
was here" "Thunderationr' growled
the voyager, 81 don't wonder that Peter
tried to walk it."
eel How are the colored voters COM
ing on, out on Onion Creekp" asked an
Austin candidate of a darkey with
load of hay. "Dar's a heap OBJ sick
ness out dar among de colored folks
what is it, malaria?' Il reckon
dat's de name OBJ de stuff. Hit am sum-
fin what he got from de druggery-shop."
"What stuff are you talkiug about?"
Ode stuff white man out dar puts in
his watermillions to keep de colored
folks from mistakin' EN- from dar own
watarmillions. "-Teras Siftings.
"A scientist says: Segregation is a
process tending ever to separate unlike
units, and to bring together like units,
so serving continually to sharpen, or
make definite. differentiations which
have been otherwise caused" This
seems plain enough, and satisfactorily
explains why the homogeneity of the
contraction of the nebulosity and the ev
olutionism of the misrepresentation and
individualism are in antipathy to the
hereforeness and primordialism of the
cosmos in its relation to the unseenness
of the vacuuity. And yet some persons
nay doubt it.-NorristOUn Herald.