Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-01-19
Miseellaaeuns &eadiua.
AN ssAppEEEv OF YE OLDEN TINE.


An old friend has found among the literary
scraps preserved by him for more than a gene
ration, the following "Appeal for Are (air) to
the Sextant of the Brick Meetinous," which
we publish as specimen of the humor which
sometimes possessed our forefathers
sextant of the meetinouse, witch sweeps
And dusts, or is supposed too and makes fers,
And lites the gass, and sometimes leaves screw
loose,
in wich case it smells orful-worse than lamp lie;
And wrings the Bel and toes it when men dies
to the grief OF surviving pardners, and sweeps
pathes;
And for the servases gets 800 per annum,
Wich them that thinks deer, let EN- try it;
Getn up befoar star-lite in all weathers and 81
Kindlin iers when the weather Is as cold r.
AS zero, and like as not grean wood for kindlers
wouldn't be hired to do it for no some
But o Sextant there are ! kermoddity
Wichs more than gold, wich doant cost nothin,
Worth more than anything exsepthe Sole OF Man
mean pewer Are, sextant, 1mean pewer Are !
OFT is plenty out dores, so plenty it doant no
What on airth to dew with itself, but flys about,
Scattering leaves and blOin of mems hats;
in short, its jest "fre as are' ont dores.
But o sextant, in our church its scarce AS pety,
scarce as bank bills when agins beg for miSchuns,
Wich sum say is purity often (taint nOthn to me,
Wat give amt nothin to nobody buto sextant'
u shet 500 men, women and children,
Specially the latter, up in 4 tite place,
Some has bad breths, none aint swete,
Some is fevery, some is scrofuous, some has hat!
teath,
And some haint rone and some aint over eileen
But every on en breethes in Il ont and out d in,
| Say so times mint, or million and a half breths
an our.
Now how long will church ful of are last at that
rate?
ask you, say Is minits, and then watts to be did
| Why then they must breathe it all over agin,
| And then agin, and so on, till each has took II
| down,
At least 10 times, and let it up again, and watts
| more,
The same individible don't have the privilege
| OF brethen his own are, and no ones else;
| Each one mus take watever comes 10 him.
| o sextant, doant you no our lungs is bellusses,
To bio the fier of ife and keep it from going out
| and how can belluses bio without wind
| And amt wind ARE? i put it to your conschens.
| Are is the same to milk to babies,
| Or water is to fish, pendulums to clox-
| Or roots tS arbs unto an mi un Doctor,
Or little pills unto an omepath,
| Or boys to girls. Are is for us to brethe,
Wat signifies who breaches ifl can't breethe?
Waits Pal? Watts POllus? to sinners who are ded
Ded for wantof hreth why sextant, when we aye
| Its only coz We want breth no more-thats all,
And now, o sextant, let me beg of you
| 3 let little are INTO our church.
| (Pewer are is ssertain proper for the pews)
| And do it weak days and Sundays tew-
| 1t aint much trouble-only make hole
And the nre will cum in OF itself; = -;
! ut luvs to cum in where it can git warm;)
| And o how it rouse the people up
| And sperrit up the preacher, and stop garps,
| And yawns and tiggits as affectooal
AS wind on the dry BOans the PrOffit tells oil.