Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-04-10
Sam Sperry's Pension.

VI HlOIC o1etA oHO yOetlo IL Ne'o
the joke Of Bloomington Centre
that bright hope, that idle dream that
fond delusive fancy, known as "Sam
Sperrys pension.
The wits who congregated in the
bar-room and grocery of the Bloom
ington Centre postoffice sometimes
had only sad consciousness of fu-
tility in their best efforts; the col
umn of facetia IN the local newspa-
! per frequently palled on the senses ;
but Sam Sperry's lank and STOPPING
figure as he descended faithfully,
twice every week, from his lone home
on the distant mountain, to ''learn
the news from Washington" bore
with it an aroma of never failing in
terest and diversion.
''Any 'ficial dokkerments arrived
for me?'' Sam was accustomed to in
quire, on entering the postoffice, with
an air Of ill-concealed consequence +;
and ON being answered in the mega
tive, the look of sudden surprise and
incredulity which overspread his fea-
lures was always as fresh and real as
it had been during the first six months
he had undergone the blow. His re-
covery was as complete and instan-
taneous, when, seated on the counter
with the "boys," he derided the very
existence of his proud nations capi-
tai in terms of the most reckless sar-
casm, or, in a softer mood, induced
by certain grateful potations, pallia-
ted the weakness of official judges
with forbearance which his listen
ers found even more irresistibly en-
tertaining.
"They think they're comm it over
me, down there to Washington, Sam
observed on one occasion, rolling his
eyes upon his near neighbor on the
counter with look which was dark
without menace, and at the same
time forcibly introducing the sharp
point of his elbow to that gentle
mans ribs-''they think they're COM
in it over me, down there to Wash
ington. And all the time they RE
hangin' off about my pension, what's
accumulatin' whats accumulatin ?"
Here Sans companion was obliged
to move an inch or two away in or
der to escape the too severe empha
sis of tina emaciated elbow. s'Back
payl" chuckled Sam; "that's what's
accumulatin' pay. Let 'em
hold off ten or a dozen years longer,
and I'll be swimmin' in back pay
I'll be fairly wallerin' in it.
With which the deeply confidential
aspect of Sans face changed to a
urIunr Pr.srr.u 1rrrrPor,
nudge another companion Gas he
supposedly on his right, he inadver-
tently thrust his elbow through the
wrappings of a large parcel of sugar,
the contents of which were scattered
over the grocery floor.
Sans expression of dismay was
pitiful.
''Have it charged to your back pay
Sam," cried an uproarious though
cheerful voice.
Sam took up the cue, and ever af-
ter that his descent from the West
Mountain, which had before been
significant of a small invoice of
skunks' fur, blueberries, and the like
at the Bloomington grocery, missed
the hampering weight of those hard
ly acquired products, and Sans bus
mess transactions at the counter
the understanding being good be-
tween the grocer and those jolly
Bloomington boys-were rounded by
regally careless, "Charge it to pen
sion, Ned-reg'lar pension or bach
pay, l don't care which"
Rarely, very rarely, Sam really die
find document waiting for him a
the postoffice, marked with the mys
terious seal of the Department of th
Interior and opened it with finger
of trembling expectation, only t.
find a printed sheet of painfully
worded statistics, to the effect tha
.!besides the two hundred and ninet
t thousand filed claims, others wer
constantly being entered, but that i
due time each would receive carefr
consideration, &c. His first hea
q of desperate Indignation yielded LAT
9 er to tears of unaffected sentiment, a
$ he murmured: pension F.! Iguess sc
t boys the grass'H be growing owe
my grave before l see any pension,
and later still to smiles and hop
again.
e The gunshot would in his rigl
S hand upon which Sam had based b
e claim on the national bounty, was {
. small account compared with tt
- harm which he had suffered, both
&c body and soul, from the soldier
le camp life, the Southern marshes
/, above all, the Southern prisons.
81 don't know what Sam might
ID been, or what he might not a been
At said Judge Holeomb, a prospero
citizen of Bloomington, who had be-
4 incarcerated with Sam at Anderso
i'd vile. "'Pon my honor, boys,
an began uncommon bright, though
n. wa int never what ye'd call perticl
Us ler tough or long -winded. But | c.
u, w tell ye one thing, Sam Sperry war
of never the same man after he cor
en- out O that prison.
cI Il. l. 7