davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
Thermometer Pantaloons.

+ Hoffenstein was busily engaged scold-
ing Herman for not polishing lot of
cheap jeWelry there was in the show
case, when stoop-shouldered country
man entered the store and inquired:
Have you got any good jean pants
here?''
Certainly, my frent," replied Hoffen-
stein, I'VE makes specially uf goods in
dot line, und We defy competition. If We
sell anyding und you don't like it, you
gets your money back or someding else
in exchange, you know. Vas you
farmer?''
Eyes, sir, live up on Red River"
well, den, you need bair of bants
like desc said Hoffenstein, pulling out
sky blue pair from pile of clothing
on the counter. ode vas de generyine
doe-skin, und viii last de whole year oud,
you know"
The countryman took the pantaloons
to the light, examined the texture of the
cloth. and then shaking his head know
ingly said:
There's too much cotton in them;
they viii shrink
ssOf course, my trent, dey will shrink,
but Wait und dells you someding. If a
man vat owns q pank or keeps store
comes here, don't sell him dem kind
of pants. Wy? Because dey vas made
EXPRESSLY for de farming pissness. Dey
vas de thermometer pants, und a blessing
to every farmer vat wears bair uf dem.
Do You know my trent, dose pants viii
dell you exactly vat de vedder viii be.
Ven it is going to be vet und cold dose
pants viii begin to shrink up, und ven
it vas going to be dry und warm dey
comes right down you know. Dree years
ago sells a bair uf dem to man vat
vas name wilkins, und efer since den he
makes good crops ven de oder beople
don't make noding, because he always
knows by his thermometer pants vat de
vedder viii be. Alder vile de beople
in de neighborhood finds oud de SECRET
uf Wilkins success, und at de beginning
uf de planting season, you know. dey
comes for dirty miles around, und If dey
sees Wilkins bants crawling up his legs
dey holds off und waits for change,
but If his pants vas down dey goes right
back home, and put in de crop. Dink
uf it. my trent. Nit de thermometer
bants you can dell exactly ven to put in
cabbage seed, und blant corn dwice as
better as NIT any almanac, besides ven
de vedder gets so cold and vet dot de
bants goes up under your arms, you can
sew buttons on de front und year dem
as vest.
When Hoffenstein had finished his
yarn concerning the pantaloons the
countryman smiled. and turning abrupt
" on his heel, left the store.
did you see de way dot man acted,
Hermann said Hoffenstein angrily.
Eyes, SIR replied the clerk.
s'Vell, it shust shows dot de more you
try to help some peoples along de more
you don't get any tanks for it.'-New
Orleans Times.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
An Irish Enternrise.

A curious project is being agitated in
Ireland, and subscriptions are being
taken to carry it into effect las soon as
the state of Ireland will permit" The
prospectus says that when Cyrus took
the city, the prophet Jeremiah escaped
from his residence, about three miles
above Jerusalem, with the ark and ae-
companied by two young princesses, to
a vessel bound for Tyre. But the vessel,
through adverse storms, drifted to the
Irish coast. Here at Lirra' one of the
princesses died and was buried, and the
ark was also buried for safety. The
project is to fit out an expedition to go in
search of the ark of the covenant at Lirra.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
Superstition in Tennessee.

Chance remarks, little slips in the con-
versation of those with whom we mingle,
often reveal the existence of this linger-
ing superstition. We met with an in
stance of this in Tennessee paper re-
Gently. The article was headed: ITO
Kill Trees or Sprouts" then followed:
There are three days this year when
this may be done When the sign is in
the heart, ON the dark of the moon in
May, on the oath, 25th. and Goth of the
month. By single chop or bruise with
an ak or other tool, so you strike the
bark and bruise or cut the wood. No
need to grub them up or cut them down,
as they will certainly die within the year
and never put up sprout. This can
only be done every fourth or fifth year.
and this is one of the years when it can
be done. L. III. DAVIDSON,
lin Auburn Coonranger.'
The editor of the paper adds: I'VE
publish the above for the benefit of our
bucolic friends who may have pestifer-
Gus vegetation they may wish TO get rid
Of The remedy is simple, and if effec-
tive is certainly great boon to farmers.
1t is at least worth a trial. Cut this out,
SO as not to forget the date, and let us
know the result Here the editor is just
on a level with the ..Coonranger,n what
ever that may be. He publishes the re-
eeipt for the benefit of his friends as q
simple and effective remedy and a great
boon, and he is anxiously curious to
know how trial will turn out.-Menn-
21lsss appeal.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10

came mentally affected. and was re-
moved to a unatic asylum. Immedi-
ately before her departure it was stated
that she was bewitcliel, and the follow
ing mode of removing the spells WAS
proposed to the husband First he must
stick large number OF pins in an AMI
malls heart, which, in the dead of night,
was TO be roasted before q quick fire, the
revolutions of the heart to be as regular
as possible. After roasting, the heart
was to be placed in the chimney and left
there, the belief being that, as the heart
witch rot, and the bewitched would be
released from the power of her enemy.
It is said that not a few persons in the
neighborhood are firm believers in witch
craft.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
P1EE 81
PTEEGfi
rIAGglil
n ss-s Cure Founa et:I.azs. Ro.one Need
Suffer

a hare cure for the Blind. Bleeding
Itcnlag and liberated Piles has been
Uncovered by DR.. Williams IAN Indian
remesty), called Dr. Williams Indian
Olntclent. A single box has cured
the worst chronic cases of Is and 80
years standing. No one need suffer
five minutes after applying this won
dcrEnt soothing medicine. Lotions.
Instruments and Electuapies do more
harm than good Williams Ointment
absorbs the tumors, allays the intense
itching particularly at night after
getting warm III bed). acts as !, poul-
thee; gives instant aud painless relief
and is prepared only Tor Piles, itching
OF the private parts, and nothing else.
Read what the Hen. j. M. Coffin
berry, of Cleveland. says about DR..
Williams Indian Pile Ointment: |
have used scores of pile cures. and il
affords me pleasure to say that l have
never found anything which gave such
Immediate and permanent RELIEF as Dr.
Williams Indian Pile Ointment.
For sale by all druggists, or mail d |
on receipt IF price s. 90
5. i. Henry 4 Co.. Props,
Cleveland. Ohio |
For sale by McCabe & Wheaton, Rock Island:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
Auecdote of Emperor william.

A letter from Berlin, Germany, speak
ing of the celebration of Emperor VIII
Gam's eighty-fifth birthday, says: One
hears at such time as this many inter-
esting anecdotes about his majesty, and
/ was much pleased with one told by an
American friend to-day, who was at Ems
few weeks since, at the same time the
emperor was there to drink the waters.
During his stay at the fashionable water
ing-place, he paid a visit to a large or
phan asylum and school that was under
government patronage. OF course the
presence of SO distinguished person
age, as might be expected, created quite
q sensation in the establishments. After
listening with much interest to the
Rotations of several of the classes, his
majesty called to him bright, flaxen-
haired. little girl of FIVE or six years of
age, and, lifting her into his lap, said to
her: Nov. my little fraulein, let me see
how well you have been taught. To
what kingdom does this belong?n and.
taking out OF his pocket an orange, held
it up to her. The little girl hesitated q
moment, and, looking timidly up in the
emperor's face, replied: ITO the vegeta-
table kingdom"
VERY good, and now to what king
dom does this belongp' and he drew out
his pocket gold piece, and placed it on
the orange Again the little girl hesitat-
ed but soon replied: TO the mineral
kingdom. y
.Betterand better" said the emperor.
3 .4Nou& look ut me and say to what
kingdom belong.
AT this question there was an en1in-
Gus silence among the teachers and vis-
itors, who were listening with much in
terest to the royal catechism. Could she
make any other reply than: TO the AMI
NAL kingdomP'' The little one hesitated
as If perplexed as to what answer she
should give. Was the emperor an ami
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
1ank Island & Peoria
:z.ASE1N Az.
SHORTEST ROUTE TO THE
: z ST A N Q sou TIL

Trains leave Rock Island
so1 Way Freight
e.4S . Fast Express
i:49 IN Mail and Express.
gSH g Through Freight and Acoonlm cd alton.
Trains arrive al Rock Island.
$3.50 & N Through Freight and Accommodation
ta :45 Mall and Express
$40 - Fast Express
400 '' Way Freight.
Tit Fast EXPRESS leaving Rock Island at S go
arrives ut Peoria f2:20 ~ at Springfield :25
IN, at Decatur 400 m, Jacksonville go p m,
lton 20 N. st Louis 8:15 N, and Terre Haute
1853 p II, Tag SAME DAY. Making this the best
nd QUICKEST route % all points southeast.
The 40 .. n. tram caakes close connection at
alva with & Q for points west CARRYING at
alesbure at 4:25 at Burlington 6 40 . Fl; at
7.eoknk 1925 m; and at Quincy 1905
Arriving 4t Peoria al So p m. making close con
ections with & & " and T p 81 Wfor Indisnap-
lis connecting there with all fast trains fer east
nd soufh.
svFAST TIME SURE CONNECTIONS, and
ltes Gs low as by any other route.
r. K CABLE, Gen'l Supt,
i. V. MAHONEY,
Gent Ticket Ag't
the { so p n Accommodation leaves every day
xcept Sunday
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10

mai? Her ewes sought those Of her teach
ers and ilgr scaoolinates. Then she
locked up into the eses OF the agsMl en-
peror, and with "A haif-startled, frighten-
ed looks If She was evadin9 the ques-
ton replied; TO the Kingdom OF heav-
en- The unexpected answer drew tears
from the emperor. Yes. yes, my little
fr:sulein, / trust i do belong to Gods
kingdom. and you think it is. time | was
there now, do you not? And the day is
NOT far Distant a
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
szznus u

tanned for president, and the election was
posspc ned.
MT. Ferris, the man who had charge of
the pest house, was present, and explained
some little matters and presented his bill
The document was laid over until the next
meet ing.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
THE BOARD OF HEALTH.

For some reason or other that august
body was very quiet about their meeting
which was held Monday night. All the
members were present with the exception
Of W. ]. Entreken. A bollot was taken
for the election of officers. Considerable
balloting was done but no choice was OBJ
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
pores aou ssM sSs saT

psaees sou ssA sSB saI 9seJ OFT ssA
aqS!sq eqL .s8qouI suIu assJ ks Isq9o
sVl puU 'Ia3suBIp NJ aasJ sAy sgA uusas
quo IaqSIq aasJ s9Iq3 pug .ssqou us
uIMa . seM Iaqo9oO III puglSua M u1ols
4eaI5 sqa 60 MoI p!sI ssaI3 ana 5uou1F
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10
MOLINE.
rTrMs TN RRrRF.

FRANK HAYWOOD,
ofice:-Harwood' Stable.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-05-10

Dealers in
Steam Pumps, Cistern and Deep Well PUMPS
full supply of Steam, Gas and Water Fixtures
Wrought Iron and Lead Pipe, Drain Tile and
Sewer Pipe. Buildings supplied with the
Latest Improvements in Steam Heating.
Special attention given to Ventilation of Water
Closets and Bath ROums.
All work and goods guaranteed to give salts
iaGtlon. Orders by mail telegraph telephone
will receive prompt attention.
OFFICE AND SHOP, Nc, Ply EIGHTEENTH ST
ian10d&w1y Opposite Union Office
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
Order of Publication.

John Beckman, VS.. Truman w. Pritts and
Elizabeth his wife.
=, No. 81 Equity. In the Circuit Court for
Garrett county.
The object of this Bill is to obtain a decree
for the sale of certain real estate described in
mortgage executed by the defendants to the
complainant on the 22nd day of January, A.
d. 1876.
The Bill alleges that the mortgage above re-
terred to was executed by the defendants to
the complainant to secure the sum of three
hundred and seventy dollars, with interest
from the 10Th day of November A. ID. 1875 and
that the mortgage debt and interest thereon
is sun due the complainant, except about
seNenty-four dollars, which has been paid.
The Bill further alleges that the time iimi
ted for the payment of said debt has passed
and prays for a sale of the land described in
said mortgage, and also contains the usual
prayer for process.
II is ordered, this 18th day of August, A. d.
1882, by the Court, that the complainant cause
copy of this order, together with the object
and substance of the Bill, to be inserted in
some newspaper, published in Garrett county
once week for four successive weeks before
the 18th day of September, a. ID. 1882, swing
notlce to the defendants warning them to APP
pear in this Court, in person or by solicitor,
on or before the third morning in December
A; ID. lSS2, to show cause. if any they have,
why decree shall not pass as prayed,
w. II. TOWER,
Clerk Circuit Court for Garrett county.
True Copy-TeSt-
Sl94 W. H. TOWER, Clerk.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
Jonathan EdWards's Frankness.

One Of Jonathan Edwards's con-
tempOraries, the Rev. DR.. B., in an
adjoining town, discarded the sever
est of the CalYinistic dogmas. A
notorious scamp in the town, much
affected in a revival, went to the
doctor and said to him, in the relig-
ious parlance of the time, 81 realize
that | am the chief ofsinners." "Glad
to hear it !" replied the dominic,
"your neighbors have long realized
it," 81 feel" persisted the whining
penitent, "that l am willing to
be damned for the glory of God"
"Well," responded the hard hearted
preacher, 81 don't know anybody
around here that would have the
slightest objection !"
One of Jonathan Edwards's daugh-
tiers, who had some spirit of her own,
had also proposal of marriage. The
youth was rerferred to her father.
"No," said that stern individual,
"you can't have my daughter" "But
| love her and she loyes me-" pleaded
the young man. "Can't have her ~
said the father. II am well to do,
and can support her." explained the
applicant. Cant have her !" per-
sisted the old man. "May 1 ask"
meekly inquired the sutton, "if you
have heard anything against my
character 2" mop numbered the
obstinate parent, by this time arous-
ed 81 haven't heard anything
against you l think you are prom
ising young man, and that's why
you can't have her. She's got very
bad temper and you wouldn't be
happy with herw The loyer, amazed
said, "Why, Mr.. Edwards ! | thought
Emily was a Christian. She is a
Christian, isn't she ?" Certainly
she is" growled the conscientious
parent, "but, young man, when you
grow older you'll be able to under
stand that there's folks that the grace
of God can live with that you can't y
Detroit Post and Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19

Some time ago the fact was made
prominent that the people of this
country spend for kid gloves ten
times as much as is given for the con-
version of the heather. Now II
comes to light that the bees of Amer.
lea raise more money than the total
sum of contributions 20 foreign mis-.
sions. These industrious insects turn
out a honey crop which yields over
100000. The amount given foi
foreign missions is about $4,000, 900 a
year.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
Big Guns and Big Ships.

The Senate has adopted a resolution
which provides that acommitteeshall
be appointed to sit during the recess
ana inquire as to the equipments
needed for our navy and coast de-
lenses. 1t would be possible to select
committee from the Senate whose
opinion upon that subject would be
valuable, but it would be well to
nave an inquiry made by commit
tee Of experts. Ifthe President would
request Gen. Grant, Gen. Sherman
ana Commander Gorringe to draw up
plan for the proper defense of the
nation from foreign attacks, their
recommendation would have great
weight.
The bombardment of Alexandria
has deepened the conviction of the
peoplethat something should be done
to increase the security of our sea.
board Cities. We do not expect war,
but nevertheless it is wise to be pre-
pared foi it, especially as heavy guns
cannot CONSTRUCTED in less than one
or two years. 1t is absurd to argue
that we cannot afford to spend money
enough to make powerful navy and
build strongcoast defenses. Wespend
more money for a navy than any
countries but England and France,
and have expended about 5000, 100000
within a dozen years, an amount
adequate to make US one Of the strong.
est naval powers in the world.
But nointelligent and unprejudiced
person thinks we need a great fleet of
war SHIPS like that of England. 1t is
the prevailing opinion that several
swift cruisers, carrying two or three
effective guns each, few gunbOats
fer harbOrs and inland waters, and
torpedOes for the protection of sea-
board cities are the chief require
ments tor the nations defence. More
recently the belief has developed that
a few of the most powerful guns
should be provided for the fortifca-
lions at the entrance of the most i'm
portant harbors, and it is quite gen.
orally believed that one or two Ofthe
most powerful ships of war might
wisely be provided. We are spend
ing money enough to make our de-
fences adequate, but the great need
is to have competent men determine
what policy is best in making our
eXpenditures.-NelO York Mail and
Express.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
Burdette'S Advice to Young Men.

Remember that the world is older
than you are by several thousand
years that for thousands of years it
has been so full of smarter and better
men than yourself, that their feet
stuck out of the dormer windows :;
and that when they died the old globe
went Whirling on. and not one man
out of ten million went to the funeral
or heard of their death.
BE as smart as you can, of course :;
know as much as you can, without
blowing the packing out of your cyl
lnder heads; shed the light of your
wisdom in the world, but don't daz-
zle people with it and don't imagine
a thing is so simply because you say
it is. Don't you be too sorry for
your father because he knows so
much less than you do. Remember
the reply of DR.. Wayland to the stu
dent of Brown University, who said
it was an easy thing to make proverbs
OuCll do COIOIIIOll WTOlGs
make tew," tersely replied the
old man. We never heard that the
young man made any-not more
than two or three anyhow. The
world has great need of young men,
but no greater need than they have
of it, Your clothes fit you better
than your fathers fit him they cost
more money they are more stylish I;
your moustache is neater; your hat
is better, and you are prettier-oh,
far prettier than "pa." But, young
man, the old gentleman gets the big
gest salary, and his homely, scramb-
ling signature on the business end of
the check will draw more money in
five minutes than you could get out
of ream of paper and copperplate
signature in six months.
Young men are useful, and they
are ornamental, and we all loye
them. But they are not novelties
no, nothing of the kind. They have
been here before.
Don't be so modest as to shut your
self clear out; but don't be so fresh
that you will have to put yourself
away to keep from spelling. Don't
be afraid that your merits will not
be discovered. A diamond is not so
easily found as quartz, but people
search for it more intently.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
Church SerYiceS--Sunday.

NJ. E. Church-Preaching at 10!
o clock A. NJ. by Rev. S. +. Jones.
Lutheran Church Preaching at s
O'Clock P. NJ, by Rev. VIM. Stouden.
mire.
Memorial Church-Preaching at II
O'Clock A. NJ, by Rev. j. S. Lefever.
Mountain Lake Park-Preaching
at 104 A. NJ, 81 and s P. NJ. Sunday
School at /! P. NJ.
p. E. Church every Sun
day in August at IL A. NJ. conducted
by Rev. John Lindsay, of Washing
ton, ID. G.
st. Peters, Catholic Preaching
every Sunday at 10f o'clock a. M,
except the second Sunday of each
month.
Preaching at Deer Park at II am,
by Rev. VIM. Stoudenmire.
Preaching at Head School House
at 81 p. M, by Rev. VIM. Stouden-
mire.
Sunday School at the Lutheran
and M. h. Churches promptly at 8
A. NJ. Also, services Wednesday
evenings in the same churches at s,
The Deer Park Lutheran Sunday
School meets at 8 A, NJ.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
The ProSnects in Maine.

Mr.. Blaine says: "Our prospects
are so promising, the surroundings OF
the party in Maine are so conspicu-
Gus, that we all have heart and cour-
age for the work of the campaign.
Divisions that distract Republicans
elsewhere are unknown among us,
and it may be our happy fortune by
unity and victory to set an example
to the Republican party of the whole
country, and thus induce the harmony
and corporations which are indis-
pensable to suCCesS.O
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19
How to Treat Your Watch.

Wind it up at the same time every day
Keep it in as even temperature as possible
Sudden transition from heat to cold may
cause the handspring to break. Ifyou would
keep it clean never put it in any pocket ex-
cept one ofleather. Those pocke cts which are
lined with cloth, cotton or calico, give by the
constant friction a certain fluff. which enters
most Watch Cases and makes its way to the
delicate parts of the watch. See that the pock-
ct is turned and clean often, and take an old
linen handkerchief and wipe carefully all the
dust from under the backs, beZel and cap of
the case. But above all you must be sure
that the Case fits firmly and to be sure ofthis,
select one where the parts center, backs, cap,
&C. are each made from one piece of metal.
The JAMES BOSS PATENT STIFFENED OR
FILLED GOLD WATCH CASE is so made, and
not only does such a Watch Case become
stronger and fit more perfectly butt enables
the manufacturer to turn and form three piec-
es of metal 0Le outer ones being gold and he
inner one ofan inferior metal) into shape for
the round parts, making to all appearances
and practical purposes just as good Watch
Case as the solid gold, at about one-half the
cost to the purchaser.
There are nearly one hundred thousand of
these Watch Cases now carried, and thergood
qualities are acknowledged by the same mum
Der of happy possessers.
All jewelers. keep them also illustrated cat
alogues for gratuitious distribution.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1882-08-19

The Circuit Court of Howard coun-
ty decided on Saturday the case of
Amos d. Worthington, who had
been refused registration on the
ground that he was a nonresident,
Mr.. Worthington being an Inspector
of customs in Baltimore, where he
has resided for four years. Mr..
Worthington testified that he has al
ways voted in Howard county, and
that at the expiration of his official
term he would return to Howard
county to reside. The court decided
he was entitled to be registered, and
directed his name to be placed upon
the books.