The daily Cairo bulletin., 1882-12-03
Spoopendyke's Water Jet

MY dear said Mr.. Spoopcndyke,
as he planted the nozzle of the street
sprinkler and braced it with bricks,
my dear, that makes considerable of a
fountain. | wish had thought of it
before
Upon my word" giggled Mrs.
Spoopendykc. 'Why YOU really are an
inventor. That's the best fountain
ever saw; but how are you going to
take it DOWN." and Mrs. Spoopendyke
contemplated the fountain with consid.
cradle misgiying.
Don't want to take it down" grunt-
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, 1T comes down
itself by the natural law Of gravitation.
Did you suppose that water intended to
squirt up in the air and wait for me TO
bring il down on step-ladderP Got
some kind OF notion that ! was going
to tie 4 rope around the water and haul
it down. hadn't We? Well, I'm not, and
amt going to offer it any chromos to
come down, either" And Mr.. Spoop-
endyke seated himself on the lower step
and eyed his fountain with great deal
Of satisfaction.
How long arc you going TO let 1t
squirt?N asked Mrs, Spoopcndyke, anX'
ious TO have the~troublc begin that it
might be over the sooner.
son, guess about twenty feet,h re-
piled Mr.. Spoopendyke, measuring the
hight Of the stream with his eye aud
chuckling to himself. That's about
as long as the pressure will permit, aud
thought I'd let it 20 that far before
hitched it up and Mr. Spoopendyke
shook all over as thefull strength Of his
Joke impressed itself upon him.
Mrs, Spoopendyke watched the play
OF the water in silence.
"P'raps you think | can't take that
fountain apart without getting wet"
said Nj, Spoopondyke at length.
"Maybe you have imbbed the idea that
when turn that water off I'm going 10
be soaked. Well, I'm not. The head
that invented this fountain knows how
to keep itself dry and Mr., Spoopen-
dyke got up and walked around his
prize, his face beaming with smiles.
The water was falling in a perfect show
% er upon the key box and in the after
noon sun the fountain looked remarka-
bly, pretty
Mrs. Spoopendyko made no response
but patiently awaited developments
"Now bring me the umbrella, y said
Mr.. Spoopendyke, preparing himself
for the closing triumph Bring me
forth the fiery, untamed umbrella" and
as Mrs. Spoopendykc handed it to him.
he raised it, picked up his key and ap-
preached the stream. The umbrella
protected him from the down pour, but
as he bent over to turn the water off,
the Kissing shaft struck under the ging-
ham and raising the umbrella with a
vicious jerk, tipping Mr. Spoopondyke
over on his beam ends.
He yelled as soon as he recovered
breath, What did yo waut to distract
my attention for?Nand he shook the um-
brela at his wife ~ soon as he rose
dripping to his feet Another time
when I'm fixing this fountain YOU get
under the bed, We bear" and Mr.,
Spoopcndyko glarcd around him and
approached the enemy once more
This time he held the umbrella
straight out before him. cropping along
behind it with the key. He had almost
reached the rod when the stream struck
the outside Of the umbrella, aud, as il
whirlod, Mr., Spoopcndyke spun around
landing in sitting position ON the foun'
TAIN which lifted him about foot and
landed him in the gutter
That's what yo were waiting TO see
was it?' he shouted at his trembling
wife. Been rooSling upthcre to watch
this display of genius against brute
force Got an idea hid away some
where that this fountain aud me amt
on friendly terms" and he whanged
1.-The umbrella across the steadily pour.
ing stream, got caught once more and
landed in the gutter again, this time on
tho back of bis neck. "llow dye like
the show" he squealed, bounding to
his feet, There's going to be n con.
cert after the circus" and he charged
once again with his umbrella, which
this time was jerked out of his hands
and rolled over in the street. Procure
your tickets of the gentlemanly ushers!'
nud he grabbed his weapon and made