Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-11-24
HUMOROUS.

The reason that aesthetics so admire
the stork Is that he can stand for hour
ON one leg and look as though he didn'l
know anything and didn't want to. -
Sonlerrilie journal.
--"Hary. you ought not to throw
away nice bread like that; you may
want 1t some day." "Wcll. mother.
should stand any better show of get.
ling II then ii ate it nowg'
The widows of India having been
prevented by the tyrannous Engl sh from
cremating themselves along with their
dead lords, have taken 10 second MARI.
ages. They are determined to sacrifice
themselves somehow. w.--frdirit Frmcr.
Two Philadelphia lawyers got into
a street fight the other day. Each swore
Il he had pistol he'd kill the other At
once dozen were offered to each by
spcctato s. When they found how
anxious the populace was TO get rid Of
them, they swo G friendship and vowed
to live forever, to spite the town. .-Phii-
adeiphia Press.
Mr.. Gladstone is an able man. He
delivers brilliant speeches. reads Greek
like English and is one oil the best schol-
ars alive. But at the same time he
Jumps around and howls like IN litter.
ate plumber when. in kicking on tight
boot. hole in the toe OF his stocking
causes that valuable article to shoot way
back around his ankle. Puck.
--"Ma," howled boy running into
the house and approaching his mother,
s.ma, little brother hit me with stick"
"Well. I'll whip your little brother"
said the mother, abstrnctcdly tucking
together pairof stockings she had been
darning. ''No. don't whip him. Don't
let him have any supper. l whipped
him before he hit me. ."--drkansaw
1rareitr.
"A friend. visiting in ministers
family where the parents were very
strict in egard to the children's Sab
bath department. was confident ally in
formed by one of the little girls that she
would like to be minister. "Whvg"
in luircd the visitor. rather puzzled 10
what had given the child SO
sudden an admiration for that calling.
She was quickly enlightened by ths
prompt reply: $50 / could holler on
Some scientist in London has been
the songs Of our childhood
into the language OF the learned The
little piping rhyme beginning Twin
kle, tw nkle. little star" has been
into this rhetorical blast from
the { ombone:
scintilsate, scintillste. rl,hule vivifc:
Fain would fathom thy nature specific.
Lott ly poised in ether c spacious-
strongly rcsembl ng a gem carbonaceous
AT a party TIE other evening the
subject of faith was mentioned, when
one young lady remarked. in the Ian
yuage of Paul: "Now. faith is the
substance OF things hoped for, and the
evidence Of things moi Sc n" Where
upon a gentleman inquired: "Whe e is
hat quotation fromg' "Why. it's from
Shakespeare" iokingly replied the
young lady. lis that sou said the
voung man; "why. thought it was
rom Byron His ne I Christmas
present will be a copy Of the New Testa-
nent revised edition
A couple of darkeys were seated
,n the steps Of store on Baldwin |
street, Elmira, where was displayed q
sroe quantity of watermelons. when |
me said: .Sambo. what would be the !
II we should pluck one Of
lem melons an retire 10 de bed oh De |
lie canal to test de quality OBJ de core?
). 1 isn't very well wersed in de law. |
,uf YOU take de melon an walk OF wild /
1 under your coat-tail. meantime I'll
70 roun' de corner and study de konse
,uences- -''-Millerfon fN ~ Argus
A German paper has ra-her good
tory about a lady who. not feeling as /
veil as she liked. went to consult g
,bvsician. We'll" said the doctor.
lffer look ng at her tongue, feeling her
pulse. and asking her sundry qut ions.
/. l should advise you. yes. | shoald adj
rise u-ahem,-to get married =
i. Are you singe, docfor- inquired the /
air patent. with significant yet mod /
st smile. Il am mein FTaulein: bei /
1 Is not etiquette. you know, for phys
;ians to lake the rhysic they prescribe