davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-06-10

Hanover Accommodation west, connecting
at Lancaster with Niagara Express ut lots,
will run through to Hanover daily, except
Sunday.
Frederick Accommodation west, connecting
ut Lancaster with Fast Line, west, ut Lao, VIII
run through to Frederick.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-06-10

MINISTERIAL ASSOCIATION - YHl
Vl Ministerial Association will meet Mon.
day next. at I0a. H., in the vcstry room i'm the
basement of the First Reformed church On
behalf the association.
SYLVANUS STALL. Scc'y.
, 1882-06-07

GGHE Absentee-tax being due on
CD the first June, the respective
ATTORNEYS are requested to
transmit to the undersigned Com
mission Statements OF the sugar
crops made, also Of the revenues Of
houses owned by Absentccs, %confor-
mable with the ordinances Of 18th
February 1917 and 22nd February
1855.
The returns, Of which blanks viii
be distributed, are to be forwarded
before the 18th June, after which
period report ftbose in default viii
be made to the Presidency.
Royal Tax-Commission, st. Croix
31st May 1882,
Il. HANSCHELL, P. II. LESCHLY.
actg. Gcty.
IL. A. HOVER.
Gctg.
, 1882-06-07

FABER has issued power dated
the 20th inst. to caud. pharm. S. w.
STEPHENS to take charge of his
affairs in the Danish Westindia
Islands and elsewhere +:
that Councillor L. FABER las
issued power, dated the Goth inst.
to cand: phatm: s. " STEPHENS
to act as agent for The Northern
Assurance Company of London"
during L. FABEb s absence
Frederiksted's Police Office the
25th May 1882,
r. PETERSEN.
, 1882-06-07
acknowledgements

til Anordning af
CO lode August 1874 bokiendt-
gj0res heryed, at jeg Days Dato har
modtaget AnmeldeIse ON
at Herr Cancelliraad J.. FABER
under 20de denncs har udstedt
Fuldmagt til Herr cand pharm !;
S. W. STEPHENS til i hans Fr :
v@relse at varetage hans Tary i ale
Henseender paa de dansk-vestin-
dislike Ger SAINT andetsteds
at Herr Cancelliraad L. FABER
under code dennes har udstedt
Fuldmagt til Herr, cand pharm:
S. W. STEPHENS, til i hans
Fravarelse at handle som Agent for
''The Northern Assurance Company
of London
Frederiksteds P%olitikammer den
25de Mai 1882.
r. PETERSEN.
, 1882-06-07

ST. Croir 1 america
10 JOR VITTERLlGT: at for
~ mig har andragot Overrets-
procurator LEDTNIING som Sagf0rer
for Premicrlieutenant, nu Captain
B. v. PETERSEN, hvorledes han i
Henhold til allerh0ieste Beyilling
af 20de Mai 1882 skal fndc sig be-
f0ict til med Aar og Days Varsel at
indkalde den elIer dem, som maatte
have / H9nde eller MATTE fOrmene
at have nogen Ret eller Adkomst
til en- rehabilitation, udst3dt. af
W3I. HEYLIGER til ROBERT BEATTY
den 2Ide August 1926, tingl@st den
23dc samme Naaned, for Ps. 7476@O4
med Pant i Halvdelcn af P~lantagen
Diamond i Prindsens Quarter paa
Den st. CroiX, forsaayidt vedr0rer
den forn@vntc Premiorlieutenant
+, v PETERSEN udlagte, af II. u.
KNIGHT we'd Paategning paa Obli-
gationen af 14de Mai 1860, tingl@st
lode saamme Maaned, overtagne
Andccl af S6S6-794cts., hvilken OBJ
legation, der som afgjort er aflast
med UndtageIse af den nevnto An
deol af $3.50 794cts,, err bortkommet.
Thi indst9vnes herved den eller
de, som maatte have forn@vnte OBJ
legation i Hnnde eller MATTE for
meme at have nogcn Ret eller Ad-
komst TIL sammc, forsaavidt vedr0r-
cr fornnvnte Andeel afS6S6-794cts.,
til at mode linden Frcderiksted's
ordin4rc Bytingsrct, son holdes /
Retshuset j Frederiksfort eller paa
andet saadant Sted, hvor Retten
MATTE holdes, den f0rste Ordin@re
Retsdag, paa hyilken Retten holdes
December Manned 1888 FOrmid-
dag X. 10 slet eller til andet saa-
dant Klokkeslet, Retten MATTE
holdes paa, for med Obligationen at
frcmkomme og sin eller deres Ret
Og Adkomst dertil, forsaavidt vedr0r-
er fornmvnte Andeel af $686-794cts.,
at Devise, da Citanten, hvis 1ngen
efter bemeldte lids Forl0b skulde
melde sig, vii forvente og lade paa-
staae den forn@vnte Obligation, for
saavidt vedr0rer den %forn@vnte An
deel at $3.50 794cts., we'd Dom morti-
fceret, saa at en- Udskrift at Pante-
bogen trader i dens Sted.
Foreleg og Lavdag er hevet we'd
Fdgen af 3die Juni 1896.
Under min Hand og Rettens
Segl.
Frederiksteds Underdommercon-
toir st. Croix den 1ste Juni 1882
Underskr y R. PETERSEN.
zs' e E, 81; !: 8 S5's' rs
, 1882-06-07

@eMURSUANT to ordinance Of
Is 10Th August 1874 it is hereby
made known that to day the follow
ing announcements have been made
to me, viz that Councillor L.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
San Francisco Quotations.
[BY MAIL AND TELEGRAPH.l

BY MAIL AND TELEGRAPH.l
WHEAT-No. l, $3.50 per GENITAL:
OATs-S1 50@l 30 q cti.
WooL-Oregon, Valley 2S@31 cts. z
D. Eastern Oregon, 20@26.
HIDEs-Ileavy salted 10Hc; light, do
r91I@10c; salted calf, 91I@10c.
FAMILY PRovISIoNs-Bacon, 13G15
cts: clear Oregon sides, 1301S3Ec: hams,
BARLEY-COast feed, 81 42@145P ctl.
Brewing 81 50@1 60 2 ctl.
EGGs-California, 26@25c q doz; Ore
gon, 22@23c q doz.
FLoUR-Oregon extra, So 90; Super
fine, SO Is.
BUTTER AND CHEEsE-Extra fancy
Butter, S25l cts, q d; Fresh roll, good
to choice, 29G30 ctS.2 IL. Cheese, II
@15c.
SEEDs-Flax, 21l@4c p Il: Canary,
3@5 G.: Alfalfa, 16@17c; Timothy, S@
19c 2 70.
BAGs-Wool sacks. 44@3Oc: potato
gunnies, 131l@14c; standard grain nom
inal. s-..
FRUIrs-Dried apples. 6@9 ct>. = d
for qrs. 7@9c for sliced; Pears. %a&Icr
Plums. 7@10. pitted l3@15; Peaches. II
G9l3c; p eled, 17612O.
Columbia river fish are
quOtable at 81 80 2 doZ, lib tins on
the spot: on the river, 81 % 2 do2. sac
ramento 81 20@1 25'
SCGAR-Refinery, terms net cash:
Cube, barrels, PKG; Crushed, lo1Ec
Extra Powdered, barrels. 1Jc; Fine
Crushed, bbls., l2Hc: Dry Granulated
bbls., 1214c; Extra Granulated, bblS
11&c; Golden c. bbls., 10s{c; d. bbls. OF
S. |. Ike.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
$500 Reward.

We viii pay the above reward for any case
OF Liver Complaint. Dyspepsia. Sick Head
ache. indigestion, Constipation or COStive-
ness We cannot cure with Vests Vegetable
Liver Pills, when the directions are strictly
complied with. They are purely Vegetable.
and never fail to give satisfaction. Sugar
coated. Large boxes. containing 30 Pills, %
c0unIerfeitS and limitations. The genuine
manufactured only by JOHN c. WEST < Co.
Inc Pill Maker" Isl and 1873 W. Madison
St, Chicago. Free trial package sent by
inail prepaid on receipt of a 2 cent stamp.
w. 4. Dement,, agent.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
astoria Markets.


BUTrER--Extra fancy SIC. Good to chooss
80 to IS cts. 4 n.
CHEEsF.-l5GSiSc.
DRIED FRUTTs.-Blackberrie Ice: Prunes
Gala. ll@isc: Peeled Peaches 17@25c
SUGAR. Cube, II; crushed, l4e; fine
crushed, lie; extra powd. l41ze; dry gran.
l31sc; extra gran. l3l4c, g. c. l2l&e.
EGas.-271s TO 30 cts s doz.
OATs.-s2 90 to 81 25 per cwt.
PoTAToEs.-l3492 cts. per Ib.
FLoUR.--Superfne S. 90: Extra s. 40;
Corn Meal q cwt. s3 50: Buckwheat y cwt
SO 90.
FRESH MENTs.-Choice cuts. Lamb. i2c:
Beef 1922; Pork 10; Mutton lO9la. BY the
carcase Sc.
MEATS. - Breakfast bacon lT6IS per b;
sides 15@l7c: hams 1920; shoulders
I59I7c; smoked boef l59l6Sc; corned beef
slO@l2 y bbl.; corned pork Ice 2 D.
LARD.-In tins and caddies l59lse d n.
HoNEY.-In frames 40c in glass soc.
Mil FEFD.-Bran $50 90 q ton; chop
feed $3.50; Shorts s28 cog Hay s2G3
SD . ton; middlings s2S.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Health is Wealth,

DIR. T. c. Vests Nerve and Brain Treat
ment; a specific for Hysteria. Dizziness.
Commissions, Nervous Headache. Mental De-
preston, Loss of Memory, SpeFmatorshoea,
lmpoteney, Involuntary Emissions, Prema-
tlre Did Age, caused by Over-exertion, self
abuse, or over-indulgencc, which leads to
misery, decay and death. One box viii eure
recent cases. Each box contains one months
treatment. One dollar a box, or six boxes
Tor ilyc dollars sent by mail prepaid on re-
celpt OF price. We guarantee six boxes to
cure any case. With each order received by
us for SIX boxes, accompanied with Ave dol
lars. we VIII send the purchaser our written
guarantee To return the mOney if the treat
ment does not effect cure. Guarantees Is
sued only by W. e. Dement,, druggist. AS
prices.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Piles Piles! Piles !!
& Sure Cure Found at Last
No Rnc Need SHisar,

& Sure Cure Found mt Last {!
No 1nc Nces! SsIiier.
\ sure Cure for Blind, Bleeding, Itching
aitd Clceratc Piles has been discovered by
DIR. Williams, tan indian Remedy. called
Dr.. Williams Indian Ointment 4 single
box has cureyi the worst chrome eases Of %
or 50 years standing. No enc need suffer
five minutes after applying this wonderful
soothing medicine. lotions, instruments and
eiectarteS do more narm than good. VIII
iIam'S Ointment abSUrbS the tumOrS, allays
the intense Itching, particularly at night af-
ter getting warm III bed). acts as Il pOulticc.
gives instant relief, and is prepared only for
Piles, itching OF the private parts. and for
nothing else.
Read what the Hon. J. II. C0rlnburry of
Cleveland. says about Dr.. Williams Indian
Pile ointment have used scores of Pile
Cures, and ii affords me pleasure 10 say that
have never found anything which gave
such immediate and permanent relief as DR..
Williams Indian Ointment.
For sale by all druggists or mailed on re-
ceipt OF price, 81 90.
HENRY * 60. Props.
Cleveland, o.
Hodge, Davis & Co., Wholesale Agents.
Portland, Oregon.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
THE MaRKETS
Financia1

Silver, at psf.
premium. -
Coin exchange New York buying par;
selling, 4 to pV cent.
Legal Tendo,. spar.
IeiecraphIe transfers on New York per
cent. prem .um.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Domestic Exports.

The receipts in San Francisco. of cer-
tain articles Of Oregon produce from
January Isl, 1882, 10 May 18th. inclusive,
have been as follows:
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Order of Chosen Friends

\ Regular meeting Of Oecident Council No
o.'o. I. f.. Is held every Thursday evening,
81 the houEOf "a O'Clock, in the hall OF the
A. q. U. W.. Ala Sojonrnlng members are
cordially invited to atienH.
BY order Of &C
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Columbia River Exports.
SHIPMENTS FoREIGN.


REHABILITATION JANUARY 81.
81 AUS DlS. Si2.5aS
Ss,9ls Dds ilour.......... 1880
Total. 20 ,Ol5.9;s
REHABILITATION FEBRUARY.
Wheat, COZ, 1855 bus, value...........s 59j. .iO4
Flour. SIS. .s07 bbls. % ......,..... iO2. .6l6
Salmon, 40.72l cs.. a. ................. 203,605
A"tfh' IL SctiSOes.. az I'D
REcAPIrULATIoS,M MARCH.
SIoGr S'l.SoS bbls(
Wheat C5S5,l2S buShels) 5!3s62
loial u5 cargoes,. S95 81
MAY.
Ito LireTpoOi per Z Chaplin.
Prom Portland 1898 bbls flour. 500
$40 QueenstO,rn per Reporter
From Portland 59.1sS bus wheat ......... So, 800
Astoria S,l02 ......... 1851
Total........ G7,2sO $e7,6i7
TO Queenstown per Storm King.
From Portland 1852 bus wheat......... $4,000
Astoria 30,2l5 81 " , 2S7Oi
Total........... .67,Ss7 s64.7oi
lO-To Qneensto,rr per 1farkland.
From Portland 81 ,l27 bus wheat......... So 95a
Ie-To Dublin per Mount Washington.
From Portland &c ,7s9 bus wheat. .7s9
1g-To Lirerpool per Philip Phitzpatrick
From Portland $3.50 bus wheat....... $3.50
s,425 bbls fiour.... 3S,0eO
Total $50
1e-To liverpool per F'r biz Henri Sompc.
from Portland S.2l7 bblS flour ........S 40 900
27-TO Queenstown per Iry
From Portland 6i,l76 bus wheat. 800
JUNE.
so Lireypo0l per Ryeualc.
From Portland ll.745 bbls -four IS 500
l0,455 bus wheat ........IO, ,So0
-. S64 600
12-To LreapoOl per Langrigg Hal.
From Astoria 4O,sOO cs salmon. .S207 200
e q" .,5i4 bbls flour .... $3.50
!" 3.472 etls wheat......... 5,7oO
S245, 400
ITO U. K. per Importer.
From Portland 10, 1881 etls wheat. G4s
lS-TO London per Wdnloek.
From Astoria 1880 cs salmon. ........... s94 75O
- a,7es bbls flour.............. 220s0
Sll6SS
The always Handy" stovepipe
II oh AZ nhr A
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
E1RE DEPARTMENT

C. J. TRENCIAliD ............... Chief Engineer
F. i. Asst. Engineer
J. o. BOIORTH...... ................2d Asst. Engineer
BOARD OF FDELEGATES.-Re meet
ing fourth Monday in each month, at 80
p. NJ, at hall Of Alert Hook and Ladder
Company No. 1.
OFFICERs.-F J. Taylor, President T. l..
Parker, Secretary \. ". Berry, Treasurer.
DELEGATES-W. W. Parker. i. Strauss. /.
Bergman. OF Astoria Engine Co. No. /; A. A.
Cleveland. ". J. Barry, ChaS. II. Stockton,
Of Rescue Engine Co. No. 2; Ed. ID. Curtis,
A. W. Berry, Il. j. Taylor. OF Alert Hook and
Ladder Co. NJ. 1.
4STLRIA ENGINE COMPANY No. i.
Regular meeting first Monday in each
month.
L. Selig, Secretary; William Book, Treas
urer B. T. Steyens, Foreman, 5. G. Ingalls,,
Isl Asst. Foreman. Joe. G. Charters, cd Asst.
Foreman.
RESCUE ENGINE COMPANY No. s.
Regular meeting first Monday in each
month.
0FFIcEKs.-A. A. Cleveland. President J.
\. Montgomery, Secretary; i. c. Norris,
Mckenzie, Isl Asst. Foreman. j. W. Brown,
I'd Asst. Foreman.
-4LER1 HOOK AND LADDER Co. MOL
Regular meeting second Monday in each
month.
OFFICERs.-J o. B0zorth. President; C.
Brown, Secretary; jay Tuttle. Treasurer !;
j. r. Thomas. Foreman. +. Il. ElDerson, ISt
Asst. Foreman. L. W. Ferguson, I'd Asst.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Astoria Locge No. 20. I. 0. G :

Regular Meeting every Tuesday Evening
AZ ~ O'Clock. al Good remplar's Hall, Che
namus street, Astoria, over G. l.. Parker's
Store Members of the order, in good stand
ng. are invited to attend. Degree meeting lst
Monday each month. By order W. CT.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Eroyn American Ports.
TIDE TABLE FOR ASTORIA

From taples OF United states Coast Survey
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
United States Marine

Seamen who pay Hospital Dues, are emit.
tied to Free care and attendance at this Hos.
pital during sickness. Permits must be OBJ
tained for United States Marines at the Gus.
tom House.
SISTERS OF CHARITY
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
Temple Lodge. No. 7AF. AM.

i.egular Communications first and w
laird Saturdays Ia each month. at 7lE w
o'clock, P. NJ, n the Hall in Astoria,
Mem bers OF the order, in good standing, are
invited To attend. By Orde: of the WIN.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
9 AINT MARx'8
HOSPITAL,

AOIOhIAI UhEdON
TgtHIS INSTITUTION, UNDER CARE OF
n the Sisters of Charity, is now ready for
the reception of patients.
Private rooms for the accommodation OF
any desiring them.
Patients admitted at all hours, day or night.
No physician, has exclusive right, every
patient is free to and has the privilege Of
employing any physician they prefer.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20
RESCUE ENGINE COMPANY No. g.
Regular meeting first Monday in each
Common Counc1i.

Regular meetings second and fourth Tues
day evenings of each month, AT IA o'clock
sAS- Persons desiring. TO have matters acted
upon ny the Council. at any regular meeting
must present the same to the Auditor and
Clerk on or before the Friday evening prior
to the Tuesday au which the Council holds its
regular meetings- +. G. NORRIS, /
Auditor and Clerk.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20

The always Handy" stovepipe
shelves at John A. Montgomery's. -
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20

4STLRLA ENGINE COMPANY No. i.
Regular meeting first Monday in each
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-06-20

High Water. Low Water.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-04-18
Balancing the Books.

At the end of last year, when an
Ohio bank cashier could not make his
books balance, the president sat down
with him and said
MIR. Symonds, it is evident that you
have made clerical error some where. ;"
''But | have verified my figures over
and over again" protested the cashier
"Just so, but you have overlo oked
the error. According to your books
this bank is SCOOP short
"Ies. sir"
"And according to my private memo
randa you are $500 trotting horse and
a $500 diamond pin ahead, while the
rats probably ate up the % cents.
Please correct the error and furnish a
clean balance sheet"
Mr. Symonds isn't a bank cashier
any more. His health was 30 bad that
he. had to have outdoor employment.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-04-18
DRUGGISTS SELL IT.

Laboratory, " West 3rd ST., N. Y. City
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-04-18
SEDALIA WEEKLY BAZOO. TUESDAY, APRIL 49, 1882
A Statement From Matte Collins.

A Statement From Matte Collins
Kansas City Times.
In the Times of yesterday was dis
patch from Dallas, Texas, stating tina,
Matte Collins, wife of the ex.train
robber, Dick Little, had formerly
been an inmate of a brothel in that
city, as the paramour Of the notorious
Joel Collins, a member If the famous
Sam Bass gang, who Was a partici-
pant i'm all the great express rob
berries of western Texas. \ Times re-
porter met Matte Collins yesterday
afternoon and she stated that the
report was false as far as she Was con.
cerned.
"But you know this Joel Collins,
do you mott"
"How should know him? ] never
i'm nv life was further south than
Fort Scott. | was born near Bloom
field, Indiana, my fathers name being
Collins We moved to this county
the first year after the war and settled
twelve miles east of Independence,
where nv father purchased $50 acres
of land. Why Jim Liggett, who
knew me from childhood, only to-day
branded that telegram from Texas as
an infarious lie, and | hear he has
said never was i'm Texas, and in say
ing so he spoke the truth"
''But who is Joe Collins, the man
whose name you are accused Of having
Purloined ?"
"TO me he is a myth. / never
heard of him before. and as usual |
think it is game of the reporters"
''But you know Sam Bass"
Never saw the man i'm my life
The only time heard of him was four
years ago, when Jesse James said he
was brave man."
"Don't you think, when Jesse was
down on the Rio Grande, he and Bass
were implicated in the Eagle Pass,
Texas, robberies p
"Well, l believe they associated
together, and of course anything to
make raise Jesse was in. heard
him deplore the death of Bass"
Have you seen that report from
St. Joseph wherein it is asserted on
Charlie Ford's authority that you were
never married to Dick Little -
"Yes, have seen it, but the story
is false aud Charlie Ford knows it.
| was married to Little about two
years ago at Usage, Kansas, and can
prove it. But I'm not going to say
any more; ysu reporters always mis-
represent me SD. Good afternoon"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-04-18
Advice to Bows.

AdVlce TO Boys
There, Bub. quit kicking the table
leg, brush back your hair, and take
that seat by the window while l give
you little advice. You wish to he
come famous and to be known as Billy
the Terror of kenosha, or The Boy
Avenger Now this is not practical
BILE outside of books. To be sure you
have read of boys becoming blood
thirsty villains, in velvet pants and
top boots, in marvellous short time,
but rs a rule the boys who start out to
duplicate those yellow covered fel-
lows. bring up in some insulated Jail,
and instead of velvet pants they are
adorned in real lite Nth ragged over,
alls with the vitals worn out sitting
around in lonely places waiting for
The beautiful maiden to come and fall
i'm love with them as they do ia the
book. But have found a way for
YOU to CRAFTY your long cherished de-
sires. | want YOU to arm yourself
with double-edged grammar and a
self cooking arithmetic and skuIk
down to the school-house Monday
bright and early. When school calls
conceal yourself behind your book,
and whenever you see an opportunity
jump onto difficult problem and
probe it through and through. After
YOU have to all appearances, mastered
it. turn it upside down and make it
prove itself. BY the time you have
followed it up a couple of months you
will begin to receive some of the no.
toriety you crave and will be looked
upon as The Startler, or Boy Mathe-
matician. BY the end of the term
YOU will be pointed out to admiring
spectators as The Double Entry Won
der of the Seventh Ward school.
You think now that this will satisfy
you, but it will not. On the contrary
it will only spur ysu on to attempt
still more difficult achievements. An
uncomfortable desire to graduate will
take possession of YOU, and before you
realize it, you will be standing before
a hall full of people, with valedic-
tory in one hand and cold sweat in
the other. trying to carry off the hon.
ors of commencement day Thus
you will 90 on step by step, until
your friends would hardly recognize
the little Willie Brown of to-day in
the Red Headed Professor of Pough-
keepsie who will be teaching q dead
language with one hand while he pulls
an astronomical constellation to pieces
with the other, twenty years from
now. Of course you will live longer
than you would if YOU had become
famous as the dashing highwayman of
Oconomowoc, but you will die in
good time, full of years and govt, and
the great dailies will devote half a
column under some gilt edge tonic adj
vertisement to your obituary notice,
and some esterprising cigar manu-
facturer will name brand of cigars
after you. and You will be mnurned
Is the Ball Headed Philosopher Of
the 10th century. There, that is all
this time. Now run out and tie this
can to the tail of that liver colOred
dog that we shut up in the smoke
house this morning. and turn him
down this street by the sitting-roo m
window. while | get OH my specs and
see if it affects dog the same as it
did fifty years ago -Peck's Sun.
TRY SicharS' ice cream
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-04-18

a thousand dollars toward founding
such a place of endless punishment.
The poor girl was in her school house,
with her neck pinned to the floor bv a
knife which ran through her throat.
We do not often originate a toast,
but there's to hell. Nav it continue
to do business at the old stand until it
enrolls the names of the murderers
of the Salem school ma am, and has
burned them until there is not enough
left to make speck on clean nap
kim"