The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-09-15

Michael Davitt sensibly says: IL be-
lieve in only one species of dynamite,
and that is moral dynamite. explosion
by the force of ideas, which spills no
blood. but mows down despotism In ell
parts of the world"
Elder spinster (who Is being msasur-
ed for pair of boots)-"Andm mind that
you make one larger than the other"
Attendant with astonishment( Then
they won't be fellows. ma'amr' E. s.
with asperity Certainly not, do not
like fellows. and l will have nothing
~tctevar to do with themp'-L0ndon
Judy.
Owing TO the high price Of beef the
people OF Tavans, Fla. says the Boston
Post, have taken to eating alligator
steaks, and pronounce them delicioua..
As long as a man has got to eat q thing
he'll pronounce 1t delicious, whether he
likesit or not, unless he gets It at q board
ing house. and then he'll orowl ANYWAY
Father, you are an awrui brave
man?" said Detroit youth, as he
smoothed down the old mans gray
locks the other evening. "How do you
know that, Williof "Oh, heard
some men down at the store say that
you killed thousands of soldiers during
the war" "Mee Why, I was a beef
contractor for the armyr' eyes, that's
what they saidr' exclaimed young in
nocence, as he slid for the Kitchen.
Angelina. dearest. canst tell me
wherein the mariner resembles the beau-
tiful sunilower under whose outrageous
blossoms we first plighted our trOth?" /,
asked Adolphus, his whole being trem-
ulous with emotion. mo, Dolly" re-.
piled Angelina, toying with her chew
ing gum. "Tell me, Dolly" "Listenr' i
exclaimed Adolphus with solemnity.
at is because the sunfower goes TO
seed, and the mariner goes to sea.
lear"
At the bric-a-brac shop - Amateur
(whose heart has throbbed at the sight
Of huge platter of old Rouen ware, ;
but who is too wary to reveal his emo
tion) -'.Whats that little--um-plate !
over there worth?" Dealer Gan old bird
also)-"You mean this saucer, here2
Eighteen hundred francs" Amateur
Pretty steep. isn'tit?" Dealer-'.Well.
sir, you see, with those knick-knscks,
The smaller they are the more they
cost"
ed with newspaper have experienced
the obituary nuisance. and will appre-
ciato this bit of exaggeration spun by
Charles Caverly. agent Of the Universe
list Publishing House: Mr.. Caverly was
speaking Of the little knowledge clergy
men had of the value of newspaper
space, and among other anecdotes. re-
lated one Of a minister who brought in
about five columns Of obituary for his
deceased wife. which he desired to have
published. Mr.. c. told him he didn't
feel that the paper could afford the
space, nor that the public had five col
umns of tears for his wife; whereupon
he proceeded to reduce tx but before he
succeeded in getting It IN proper shape
and space he married again.
A Boston horse car conductor has
served one company sixteen years.
worked 315 days every year, travelling
siXtNmiles each day, and thus ridden
800, 480 miles, or mors than twelve times
the distance Gound tho earth, and new
er knocked down" cent. Wsstmore-
land claims a postmau who has been in
the service forty-seven years, and In that
time has ridden 242. 500 miles. That
distance Is ten times the circumference
of the earth, nearly eighty times the dis
lance from England to America. and
1880 miles further than from the earth
to the moon. During his service he has
sorted, carried and delivered 5000, 900
letters.