davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
SAMARITAN NERv1NE

Cures Alcoholism, Drunkenness and the habit az
opium Eating These degrading habits me bY
lar The worst evils that have ever bcrairn suffer.
ing humanity. Thousands die Annunlly from
these noxlOns drugs. The drunkaFd drinks
liquor not because he likes u, but for The pleas.
nrG q drinking aud treating his frends, little
i tnlhMS!ng lAsl ne y on his road 10 rain. Like
the Opium Eater, he first uses the drug In small
quantities ~ q harmless ahtiA0te. The soothing
Influence o. the drug takes strong hold upon IL
The habits Of Opium Eating and Il1ilor bring.
Iug are precisely what eating Is 10 aImeutivc.
ness, as 1vCr,enting first inilamps the st0mach,
Mhlcn rtNOaDles It's cravings until Il pHFatyzes
both the stomach aud appetite. Soeyery drink az
liquor Or dose Of opium, instead OF satisfying,
only adds to Its fierce fires, until II CONSUMES
the WA force md then Itself Like the EluttUn.
ons tape'wOrm, 1t cries "GivU, give, give - Int
never enough unAl It's own inpacity devonrs
Itself; Samaritan NGryinr gives InsinnI relief
III all such cases Il produces sleep, outlets the
nerves, builds up the HrFyOHs system, mud re-.
stores body and mind 10 u healthy condition.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
SAMARITAN NER71NE

Cures Nervous Dyspepsia, Palplation Of tho
Heart, Asthma. bronchitis, Scfotula, Syphilis,
Urinary urgARs. Nervous Debility, caused Lv
th1 inliscteiinus Of youth. permanently cured
ny The use 81 this invaluable remedy. To you,
young, mtadleaged, aud Old men, who are cover.
Ing, your suNetings AZ with n mantle BY silence,
and make ornaments to society, and levels in
the crown Of your Maker, II you will DO not
Keep this a secret longer. until II saps yOur
Ntais, mud destroys both body and soul. II YOU
are thus afflicted, ,take nh. HCuNnNn's SANAR.
lTAS NEEyiSE. II will restore your shattered
nerves, arrest premature decay, and impart tone
aud energy 10 tic Whole System.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

WUetEE6 SALE OF Et6HTEENTH
\. STREET PR0pkKTY,
~ virtue 81 deed Of tEustmade By Adam I'm.
inert and Elizabeth, his vile, 70 the underSiSned
trustee, dated the 2Gtf day o. MRy. lsI. And hi
record 10 the 0fhee Of the CLERK az fhO County
.,outt q Ohio county, West VIFRInia In Deed 81
trust Book No pages y and u, shall. on
Tu&DAY, MAY Z iss2
tecmmencing o. 10 O'Clock 4. ~, a. The front door
" inc Court House Of Ohio county W. Va. selI II
pnple auction 70 the highest and best Bidder. nd
ooWiIg described property, that d 70 tay; Ali the
st9t 3ae'htH Of the west dfe'hah Of lot Numbered
situate in that part Of the city 81 Wheel
ias i xnown g Est Wheeling aud fronting on
Elsnteenth street formerly called Clay ItFeetj bes
Hg one,haH OF the AAl1e half tot which WAS son.
EtyCd 10 George Wehnef ana ihe aid Adam
emmett by deed OF James McISonatrhY. beNFine
date the I'D day Of February, iSiS. Ind al fecafd
In the Clerks ONCE Of the County CoClTt al Lhl1
Sonhty, west Virginia, In Deed hook N paFe IN
and y me same PROF efty conveyed Ia Ieyefalty "a
Miu A1am EmmeFt by deed Of 6eotge Wfhnef And
vile, dated the 10th day n DgCemhef iS6S and N
page o. $50 St'''S 80 iva O seA4s -
Tho lillc Of Wid property u believed 10 be pet.
iGCt Dut selling as trustee shall convey only Riich
l!Ie ~ u vested Ia ne by mid deed az tfuEt y 4
TERMS OF SALE-0n6. third Of Ihe nnfchahs
money. or 20 much more thereof d the purcheaor
may eject 70 pay In cash, the residue In two euunl
IhsuINmcWS % Ek aud twelve months with iftefS
t rom the date Of Salc the purchaser Iiylng notea
LOT deferred payments secured by deed OF trust on
Inc property, and policy Of lntnmnce.
WI. HAllER, e Tsnais.
AnrttnnNer MINI
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
Dr., Frazier'S Root Bjffgrs,

ErLictS Root Bitten arr not dram ,hnr ,sh,sL,
ssSNtFEe 9nlAr strictly metiRal Ia SVs,y " scIS:
heS ae' strongly upon the liver and EAmrt, EHS,;
we b1Nth pPta aud regular make thr 49, ASvP
hl Ihe iNnGS build up the nerves srd S"sSSa ihs
D' g.! ne Hsa sJ''ea 81 every tmpGrity '''"'' VIZ
ts. UI,'. KH,h OF Hood to the Head, tending
Eami'S And Blotghcs SCf0iuiOUs iiWm,o Ss'S INA
T''S tcttsf, Mag &on, White Swelling, ErySISE.
~ .Sm ,e 'yvii Wy lot young men suffering INN
70 i!use ~ delicate hellt6 FTlsIGt RSot BitiSr S
NS especially recommended, ''''''4'
AT tiS1Ist; have nscd two bOttlsSnl your Roo,
T ~ n 10Y lslSlsS, Dizziness Weakness and KID
KY n.',ae !, And they DID me IpOrC good Than ihl
S[%s aGl al, The medicine ever UAcd From I'M
No., iGGE begun 70 E1pnl, aud an nov II
1 49, health and lCcl - vol as ever did, CON
%'e' Your medicine one OF tho greatest OF hIeSIags
u.,,. MRS, y; Martin. Cleveland, Ohio
sn St. ~ Logan 4 Co., Bridge Garner, WheciinR
Naa W ur'lggAH everywhere Il 81 her bottle,
an HENRY & CO., soic PrOp'rx.,
--Gr-EnS % VeSny Street New York City.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
LEaAL NOTICES.
TIRUgTFE,g gAIF an FIFTp,Ss:Tl

u. sTRRET PROPERTY. - =
BY virtue Of deed Of ttut made By John I
MekennAn 70 me a Trustee, dated Aufiift n 1874
and Of record IN the once Of the clerk II The tonn
Conn q OHIO county West Yityinih, IN Deed q
Trust Book No. 4, page 25O, RhAll on =
TUESDAY, NAY q, isl
Commencing u 10k O'Clock A. H., AZ The front door
o. Tho Court Hoabe Of Ohio county, Met VifRibIe
gu q public auction q Tho highest and bsst bid.
The middle one third (tronting On Iiftecnih stret
g 'hS n9Tth hall Of tot numbered fifteen (t6i Ii
William w, ShhveF'a addition 70 East Wheeling.
situate on the southwest Corner al Woods unsnseSe
seyenthl and Fifteenth formerly centfeS Sifeea
IN The city Of Wheeling, ", VA As'ss'l'
Title believed U be perfect Init I shaIt roNyev
trust, So NS " sAAN uee9N
TERMl oH sALE-one.t hlrd Of tho purchase none,
M ~ much more = The purchaser may eect csSh
NJ And y slYO month"; with liStFess irom Ia asS
Of SALE the purchaser diving Note ~ ~
tnsntS secuted BY deed Of tfIt an ths nnonsSsvss
q policy Of Insurance. Wv -
". H. HALLEA, Wa" e hV1g Tsnaas.
Attcttdnecf. mhSf
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

A few drops Of Sozodont mixed with water,
and placed in the mouth Of the invalid, will
refresh him. 1t aromatizes what else won d
be dry and uncomfortable, and gives infinite
pleasure, and incites appetite. No nurse
should neglect Sozodont TThs4w
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

FLINT, MIcIi,. May 10Th, 1850
DEAR sIR:-AlNow me 10 nay that esteem your
"HyTOphOSphIlCs" most highly, aud far thase en-
gagged IN Professions which draw largely on tho
nervous system Il Il Invaluable. have used Il my
self with tho most satisfactory results and have t'
trOdurCd II TO lAEo number Of my people:
REy. K ". HARE.
aprlTS4W Pastor g. NichAclb Catholic Church.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

wuY will You suffer, when Dr. Virgins
I.ungwort Compound Is safe and speedy
cure for coughs and colds. TryiE For sale
by Logan & Co., and all druggists.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
PILES! Piles! PILESI
Assure Cure Found at Last! No
Que Need Suffer!

ASH ciWior E!tai Bleeding, itching aud u
Na,A Files hE, been discovered by Or. William
Mhttn rlncly,l called ur. Williams indian
ITfaIa'uL A single box has cured the wOR'
S S- gis,' Of 2iot 70 years standing. No one
~, MA NNct i've minutes SITTER Supplying this won
Sf4ls n"Ihluf nuiciac. lAl.ions, Instrument
nv nv e.N'ldA'is' 10 mnr hlrm than good. vii
nAh QinuNcni alrpTts The MmOn, EllayS the IN
, %N% tc4lArr particularly Al night AlirF Epllinr
"NsN W py1l at ~ ap0UltlcC gives Instant and
fSS W ieAei t44 prepared 8aIy Eas Piles, Itch
bssS H,y tE.SSS'e IAii' and tot nothing else.
I,, 1.S"l MN4i We !!oa ! ~ tdatHherfy, OF CIere
! !Snu. NY Gn9gI NJ, Williams Indian Pie OInt
I 49,, nave G,d Vuns OF Ptiu Cures and Ii
,I,'y,h ", H"sN'e say that lhGVO never found
''y III I hv a. W. Williams nd!Rn Ointment,
uS6 Nv Il, 49,, I,,,.., w. Bridge Corner, Wheeling
q u. H 'SS'N on receipt " price
- C@nW ~ Nury s;lyot, New YnTt iJtv
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

PAID $50 to my doctor and was no better.
] then took few bottles Of Peruna which
cured me,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
cause he Is certainly as familiar with the
condition Of trade rs any mill man can be-


- s-3sf @A-&+t 1880 NsfAf W.
TUE AMERICAN iRox WORKS.
B. F. Jones, OF Jones L IAughlins, said,
y don't think II Is at all likely that they
will makeG demand OF that kind at all. ]
think the Sunday papers must have got
that report from some unauthorized per.
son." The reporter assured him that the
figures were read from the minute books
by tho Secretary Of the Association 10 a
DSpdtcd reporter. '"ThIs has not been
the custom heretofore. Il has been usual
to appoint committee 10 negotiate
and talk the thing over before taking
action. II they have really taken such
action u Is certainly very unusual. Il
seems to me a singularly inappropriate
time 10 make demand. II We could adj.
vance prices Il would be a very different
matter, but II we should do that
we should have the eastern and foreign
markets to contend with"
III the men insist, will the manuiac.
turers pay IN"
~ doubt very much that they will sub.
nit to Il They can't Afford II. But |
don't believe they will make the demand
alter all. All the men have come in con.
tact with
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
Dr. ]. (. SMITH,

~ 'HA - 49, ~ W
No iii ClTAPLINE STREET.
bstlEiS9r Of 1 physicians SUCCESS Is the tcs-
tr0Gy a ~ JslgIs. ThclRCrCRSing demands for
~ TFhsionE -,fyicpS prove that | have dealt
A1a0nhy AID GIfly with those who have consulted
n llttCiGss patients npluG without perlnts
DC ho5El have laEny hundred certificates IRON
eNWh0a have cured after they had been pro-
B1sFdDwnhlt. AihOrOuSh medical education,
EsHng ysN Hospital experience and familiarity
as4gNyH1iic GEGais, 4 close Observance Of tenn
Baaa1l NwHsHtSs and strict attention 70
Arssf alamagPUeVt iRsuTes success, II cure Il
PsSt and iIankiY give the patient my opinion.
HONSAE PROOF
ilasy AMI Liver Diseases and Ritcumestxnt-
sbtti Misunderstanding seemed 10 help mo-
CO.. 70: gtt out Of bed. Dr. ststth cured me-"
GEFT. PHILLIPS,
wheeling ". VI.
l,ss'S Polypus Of Nos, imp9Ged Voice; Sui
kiNhIUrs: patent medic!nS lAiled 70 help me,
%Ss'0 a'A p'0'''yC iisi'. Is CHADWICK,
81 SnciAsl 4 Co., Wheeling, W. Va
AiEtis, InI ulcemtei Treatment
b,ys4a ll,l re give ne relief Dr. Smith cured
nsN Tl1MAS HOLT, Insurance Agent
YtS-"HEl&sn Tor fourteen years D.. Smith
CrN,ius." LOUIS Y. WASHINGTON.
Rr1'f4 Ega'Is; gdseS an ReI9-"My SOn WBS
Lst'g! In tufiesn yean. Nothing seemed 10
Ae'p LLI n, 5ml'h CttTef htLa.
Aisa. CATHERINE GAPS,
&srSet street, wheeling, ". Va,
Gar' 'aGs;cd ius yOA1s with cancer. Had II
Gl Og. h:rr HmgE II lctu ned Nit0r each oretR'
ton d. saith rl.Iel NE without knife, CsustlC or
pLan Miga. Il. n. CIRCUIT.
Ills EF!Gla Of knus.-FlAt Of my back IoI Is
Ers &prci lying. Or. Smith cured me With
THOMAS COLv1E,
Wb0lrile NIuNI. Main ST., wheeling, ". Va
Otenlons Of keCtUm, PIOlapElE and Piles
VA gftD up 10 I!c and Pronounced incuEahle.
N. s1itA elrei me without knife"
WARRINGTON DELAEY,
Martins Ferry
Ref H. o. L.d& Wrttes:-"BE Smiths professional
EHicrs IN ny family have been most satisfactory
tnt commlrd MIN to Sii u gentleman aud \
h,lglrhyHriNyr
EN Aaf,aIrt Ho!h sNys:--"E had been suffering
%Sytl yfets and treated by marry physicians for
cINeIriA H. Snilh said hRf Apc-wurm Rttd
hSshl hours rvmOyt! a monster 100 Ieet long"
FEMALE Complaints, --Thpc years IN hospitals for
aS'la, rive me peculiar advantages In such cASCa
Ni@n ennsl ai rlArfh, diseases OF heart, flyer,
ESia:Nhr GiLNcyf, Kin, blood, nervous affections
~ sakptNts u men and youth, BCrotulA aud
GenAh'iiy TO ~ surCCss.
nie cur. w'hGul the kuito.
flItLS A'E c.suuDr Ray hr treated by letter and
ha'bftVR guaranteed. chart for nell exRminA-
w S4' on receipt Of TWO shTsc-cent stamps, and
GiuW friuiaeG Tree.
toaEatIoa Il otto. ifea. 0Goe hours IRON A.
No IN, lEiy. Call 9u Or address,
J, Z. SMITH, n. D.,
~ 80. III llNplinc ST.. Wheeling. W. Va.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
sso'oAt'
NERVE KING
MISUNDERSTANDING MEDICINE
on EARTH

.,,,o tlaal 4 n hare %s has BED. Cures
y T. n, AZ, S 81 r. iii to Relieve
fl, Rhcnts'atissm'
NsEs,. for , iSGr"ia ihC I'rc"st'
nss.A for ,mr Il lhHcls.
nass4 tor W, = frrHaily'
HSts er Arnrni1,Sc'"'
nkri goy IRrNrm''
sAc sgr spTnihS'
FsI.s1i ~ isr raMr I,TG: npy mud NIL cir.
ls,,'ssS', .,,n, In the I1"c"
Tagged lor tG,r Ihrnnt'
mlssssSGi ior p ", rtnc ar Putt.
IikEo.5i i"I tisa'!inf,M,,S,;,l colds.
iihfaSs sr lppsls nv"
RS:.oii;;Ssf IKE Re-; sir''r""''''
II"1 ,l,a. lsy,filc aud secret lo o.;
.,uzrlya!' Eapb ycAt has nlueu
Hstfnrn ra.H,n II new inSrenlGGn l,s
psA lsH N .a. eiscn. until to-day,
s sas,,; * Sa!dason Earth, Earth. :, %,
nc, .'.I T." nor IN Private 1t Re
we si.' %, !, a..:.a' languages accom-
st,J t.tl 'h uCO DOTvNT r
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
sEENED TO re SATISFIED

with present wages and the contract Of
their own making. No doubt there are
few disContented men, but believe the
majority Of the conservative workingmea
are satisfied. They have had steady en-
ployment, and that after all Is rs import
ant to them as the wages. 1t will be very
bad for Pittsburgh II we are to have labor
troubles just in the present shape Of the
Various other men who are more or less
interested in rolling mill work were asked
to give their opinions in regard to the effect
OF the action OF the Amalgamated Associa.
ton. 1t is needless to say, in view Of the
unanlmity OF sentiment shown above, that
they ait agree that the proposed rate could
not DO paid and while comparatively few
thought that there would be any serious
trouble in the nature Of a prolonged strike.
all alike insisted that the market could not
stand the increased cost Of production un.
less there should be an advance in the price
OF the manufactured article. The meeting
OF the joint committees Of manufacturers
and men this afternoon will probably fur
nish more decisive indications Of whit Is
ahead Of us IN the labor world. An attempt
was nfade to add Mr.. Jarrett to the number
Of the interviewed, but he could not be
found,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
SAMARITAN NERv1NE

S [n EpilepIle Fits, spaspe, COnyul.lonp, 81.
PIS%y, Paralysis, rheumatism Neuralgia, nnI
az Nervous Diseases. This tnfaiithic remedy
VIII P0slllNcly eradicate every species Of NCf.
H9as BetangrRght, ard drive them away from
utterly DESTROYS the germs Of disesse IL n"ntrSt.
mng the hereditary tAlnt OF poison III the system,
s sa. !hoioNshiy eradiCAtes tho disease, aud Ut.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
GRAFr. nHNNErr 4 ID.


Henry King, Of the firm OF Graft, Ben.
nett & Co, expressed himself thus: sit
seems very strange 10 me that this
should come right in the face OF a falling
market, when orders are falling Off and
prices low in consequence, Il the down
ward tendency continues, the Trade cannot
stand such IN advance in wages. 1t is a
very strangeaction on the part OF the Anal
eanated Association, in my judgment, and
/ don't know whNtthey mean. | don't be.
leve the manufacturers could stand It,
even with present prices. They would
have 10 raise the rates, and that would let
in foreign goods. The card rate at q cents
is now at the highest notch to keep out
English iron. lit goes up any further we
will repeat the experience Of 1870"
Glow much OF m advance do you think
Il could standg
Il am better posted on pig than manu-.
featured iron, and with tho present price
Al SIS ind SEQ, an advance Of from 81 to
81 80 wonld lot the foreign iron in. Isup.
nose it is about the same with bar and
plaie, look for better demand for pig
after the labor question is settled, provided
Of course, that there Is no advance on last
years prices. But does Mr.. jarrett trdorse
these new demRndsP'
Hcp.-Mr. Jarrett presided at the meet
Mr. King-aI am surprised II Mr.. jarrett
approves this in the face oil the facts, be
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
SAMARITAN NERv7NE

Is for sale by druggists everywhere, or may be
had direct from us. Those WIN wish to obtain
further evidence Of the curative properties Of
Samaritan NcrVine viii please enclose Scent
journal Of Health, giving hundreds 0I IrstLmo.
mails VI cure from persons who have usui the
medicine, and also their pictures photographed
after thelr restoration 10 perfect health.
Address
DR.. s. A. RICHMOND e. CO.,
Worlds Epileptic Institute,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

After June list nt the Iron NILS Of
FiiisbnFgh and wheeling.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
TRysTEE,s sALE on EIaHTEENTR

WI HAL1EA, "@' e hVSsTS INA.
AttCttdnpCf wET
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18

WLD NJ ALL DRUGGISTS, and by
LOGAN 4 CO., Bridge Corner, Wheeling.
Mh.i
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1882-04-18
PITTSBURGH FORGE AND IRON COMPANY

Calvin Wells Of tho Pittsburgh Forge
and Iron Company, had just returned from
trip through the East yesterday. When
asked what he thought Of the proposed
scale, he said: dts the most suicidal Thing
the men can do. 1t means an advance ail
along the line, and very considerable in.
crease in the cost per ton Of producing iron
Of NIL kinds. doubt very much that they
will finally urge it. l think the men are
generally too well posted OH the actual con:
dition Of trade to insist on such demands.
The action Of the association surprised me
very much, and ! think they viii finally
come to the conclusion that tits bad policy
TO push them"
dHow did you find business outside of
Pittsburgh"
an tho East there is q general stand.oiI.
Orders for rear building and railroad sup.
plies have been withdrawn By many pro-
iected roads that were unable to place their
bonds and had to stop for want OF funds.
The short crop Of last year is beginning to
tell on trade pretty seriously. The general
feeling is that business this season depends
altogether on how the crops turn out II
they happen to be short again the effect
vii! be disastrous, and the Pittsburgh mar
ket will be affected Just as in other places.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-09-27
His Response.

=
The tribe of Koriaks in Siberia have a
settled conviction that all men are equal
and refuse to show personal respect to
any one. however exalted his rank. An
amusing instance of this democratic
feeling is narrated in connection with a
Russian major who wished to get what
he wanted from The natives by impress
ing them with q proper sense of his rank
and power. For this purpose he calle1
one Of the oldest and most infiuentialof
them one day and proceeded to tell him.
through an interpreter, how rich he was,
what rank he held. what immense re
sources in the way.of rewards and pui
ishments he possessed, and how becom-
ing it WIS that poor wandering heather
should treat him with reverence. The
old Koriak, squatting on his. heels, lis
tened to this enumeration of the officer
attributes without moving muscle of
his face; but finally, when the interpre-
ter had finished. he rose slowly, walked
up to the major with imperturbable
gravity, and with the most benignant
and patronizfng condescension, patted
him softly on the head. The nnajor
turned red and broke out. into a laugh;
but he never tried again to overawe q
Koriak.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-09-27
THE DAILY ARGUS.
The Lawyers Trade.

$50 am doomedp'' said the client
just found guilty of murder in the first
degree and condemned to be hanged.
Guilty? Hanged?" howled the law
yer. What are You talking aboutp
Evidently you have never been tried be-
fore for murder -
NO." said the prisoner; .'this is my
first offense. ~
Why, man." said the lawyer, s.the
thing has but just commenced. Being
found guilty is now by the law consider
ed only the preliminary stage of crimi-
nal trial. l.''ge
But what win you do now?''
''DoP You have twelve or fourteen
chances for life," said the lawyer.
s.First-Appiication for new trial
''SecondLStay of proceedings.
''Third--We shall lind some new wit
nesses who will prove that you are quite
another man as compared with what
You were when you committed the deed.
"Fourth-There are forty-five excep-
tions to the rulings Of the court
.Fifth-f these fail we shall clap on
certiorari gs9
''Sixth--Tf that fails we shall try the
old habeas corpus.
s.Seventli-Then there is, the insanity
dodge. That opens new field alto
gether Tor saving your neck. We can
make you insane.fl I,have in reserve o
corps of experts who can make any
body, out insane. Sentence. F7ati tie
asylum. you know.efor life, and let you
out by the back door in less than year,
when the public has forgotten all about
the case.
Aa ninth Petition the Executive for
pardon.
2 I..TenthL The wrfts'i in reserve. There's
the writ of corporations aurora borea-
lis. Doyou unaerstaIfd Latin?''
Prisoner-''Not Izatinr
1ter LawEer-sfIf that failsthcre's the writ
of Pulcherirnus amomaseulinibus, which
means it is a sin, anyway, to hang
loyable white man-like YOURSELF Then
there's the writ of nil desperandum in
quandary, which means any port in a
storm. See?''
Prisoner-s'I don't see exactly. But
know you must be learned man. and
1 know there's heap of power in them
there writs. How much?'
Lawyer it costs heavily to get
them out, especially those last named,
for they are the choice snd fancy YaIie-
ties. thousand dollars will smooth
things and proerastirelte the gallows for
the pfesellts' 3&E @E5A#E@
Prisoner Judge, $500 is all I can
raise just now Won't that answers
Lawyer. half the time mention
ed, yes. You are saved for six months
~ T. Graphic. ~ T
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-09-27
Wonderful longevity Of Our widows.


The widows of the soldiers and sail
ors of the war of 1872 are, fortunately
for themselves and unfortunately for
the public treasury, blessed with mar
velous health and strength. According
to the 1atest official reports from Wash
ington, tweuty-six thousand of these in
teresting ladies present themselves every
three months before the accredited
agents of the government and draw
their pensions with a precision that
shows high condition of financial dis
cipline. Their ages. individually or
collectively, no one of course will be so
ungallant as even to hiRt at, but the
titste of the last war with Great Britain
is pretty well back in the century, and
is a more trustworthy record than even
Judge Speir's family bible. In the
darkness and uncertainty that envelope
the pension office at Washington, re-
garding the possible claims against the
government arising out of the late war,
The roll of the re1icts of the heroes of
that patriotic epoch in our history may
afford some light and instruction. =
The total number of killed and wound
ed in the 1925 campaigns was "a
little more than five thousand At
the end of seventy years the pension
list of the widows alone oJtnIImbers
that of the casualties by five to one. Ii
the widows of the veterans of the re-
belEion stand by the treasury as patri-
officially as those of 1872, the commits
sioner of pensions in 1850 will have "a
couple of hundred thousand of them on
his books.
The Rock Island Argus., 1882-09-27
'.Has itPaid.6

Atoaching anecdote associated with
the death of President Garfield is told
by the Brooklyn Argns:
When Gen. Garfield 5 nomination was
talked Of, Mrs. Garfield asked Gov.
Jewell if It would pay to leave the
pleasant home in Mentor, and received
in reply: Yes; in a year your husband
will be President of this country,, and
hold the highest Office on this whole
globe On the funeral train Mrs Gar.
field sent for GOV. Jewell. and asked
him, Governor. has it paid?' Again
he replied, Yes. for that man is the
best foved man on the globe. y