Smyrna times., 1882-04-19
WHOLE NO. 1898.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

"eor9e BlncrOft says he never ate fine,
dinners at any European court than presi
dent Arthur provides.
a Republican editor of CHICAGO men.
tonS his contemporary as 1.-THE Shack
nasty Jim across the way"
1t mas been found that a district in At
rIra has long been called by the native,
" loo-Too.' Ii is chiefly inhabited bv
baboons
Go in Steve, Is the lates slang phrase
the definition of which is, make all Won
can when you can. shipherd is the
author of it.
The man who goes to a vermont candy
pull and doesn't eat enough to make him
sick for week. is considered not to have
had good time
During the months of August. Septem.
Der, November, and December, of last
/ year, nearly 800 converts to MormOuism
were made in England alone.
a Cincinnati drunkard put knife into
his pocket without closing the blade, and
then fell on it, He died believing that
some enemy had stabbed him.
II IS said that a Chinamam will steal
dog quicker than he would woman ami
considering the style of Chinese beautv,
you can't blame him.-Boston Post.
An old bachelor complains that the girls
Of to-day are not such good cooks as the h
grand-mothers. If that is his standard
why don't he marry their grand-mothers
then.
DR.. Holland once said that 1.-THE greatest
Blessing that young man can enjoy is
poverty" And the greatest task in this
world is to convince young men that the
Doctor spoke the truth
II lot of doctors should get up a life
insurance company and give security fol
the prompt payment of policies in case oi
DEATH they would have more practicd
than they could attend to.
e The wife of one Senator, who entertain:
e lavishly, says that her bill for flower
j during the seven weeks Washington sea
5 son was $4,000 which is nearly half of
u Representative years salary
The colored voter of the South should
be freetrader," says the Freetrade BulIs
> tin. We don't know how he may fee
about it now, but before the war he was
strongly in favor of protection, and frs
quently fled to the North to secure it,
NOrristopn Herald.
Il 4 manufacturer of rat-traps offers "a
contribute literally to any improvement
|, which will prevent the Mississippi froln
$ Overflowng. He is not a philanthrepist
a either. Those floods drown all the rats in
+ that section and knock him out of the sale
|, of millions of traps.
;, A New York man has traded $10.50d
: worth of land for whiskey, and the fact
:, has attracted attention, not that such am
= exchange is unusual, but that it should be|
! made all at once. AS a general thing tbe|
transfer is made little at a time, and tn 4
man does not realize it until the land is al
gone, and the whiskey too.
d Rev. Minot J. Savage has been lecturin 4
$, in Boston upon "What Brains are For.
a Boston needs whole series of lectures Of
s. that subject, for al hough the people there|
"a have brains enough and to spare they
seem to be utterly ignorant of the fact
N that brains can be used for something bel
r sides ESSAYS on protoplasms and aged
g crockery.
,e Heard on passenger train: What are
r. we stopping here so long for? Has any
thing happened?" NO, nothing: except
that freight train ahead of us has parted
and can't move on until that has beer
=, remedied." but haze they nc spare
N couplings?" Plenty of them, hut you
le see it takes some time for the brakeman
N whose duty it is to couple them to make
{ his will"
Henry Russell, the America-lovine
EngliSh-man who wrote:
ID ITO the West; to the West; to the lands
ol of the free.
m Where the mighty Missouri rolls down t
lie the sea-
Where a man is a man if he's willing L
toll.
ic And the humblest may gather the fruit
&c of the soil"
. = will have to revise the last two lines ans
er insert Except Chinese" in one or tw'
places.
is Somebody has figured out that Wander
A bilt's income would allow him TO in on