The Dillon tribune., 1882-07-01
WIT AND HUMoR.
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS on ,Acn,,.
XlS0I0o.

WAL RN0 az UH.
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS Oh 1Aoo,,.
11o0lNo.
The mosquito IL the chan that oensr,,,,
ellis the bill."-Boston Commercial Byl.
ktis.
Scene ct = Stable. Funny Freshman IN
hostlsE, who u rubbing down his hor.el-
" Pat, I'm afraid you're currying favor
with that horse" Ho~tler-'' Faith. NO
I'm merely scraptn' IN acquaintance. -
Hareard Csiassoss.
Young Keepitup says his mother .in.law
10 like Fenian torpedo-she goes Of when
be isn't touching her. "Bless your soul. +"
said his neighbor O6uldri, my mother.in.
law 10 like Quaker gun she's been with
~ ever since laat May, and you can't make
her 60 Of. "-Sentry.
A scientist says that . traveller who
,ould make the circuit Of the earth in
Eighty days would need twenty.four
years. for bic journey around the sun.
That settles IL. We shall not ATTEMPT the
latter journey. Twenty.four years ia too
long to DO away from home with the
meter registering gas all the same a. IL it
was burned every night-Norristvwn
Herald.
"A conversation overheard the other dav:
She" Did Sheridan or Knowles write
1.-THE School for Scandal?" He-"Why.
Knowles. Of course. Sheridan was q gen.
sral in the army, you know, and never
wrote anything: Didn't you hear about
dis marching through Georgia ?" She
''Oh, remember now. but I always did
yet those two men confused. "-Rochester
Esprsss.
genial mistake. New beauty tun.
versed - yet In the mysteries of high life)-
who's that wonderful old gentleman"
The Captain" Sir Digby de Rigpy,
Hampshire baronet, one Of tho Oldest in
England; James the Firsts creation. yon
know." New beauty determined to be
surprised at nothing) -" Indeed! How
we'll preserved he il! Shouldn't have
thought him more than seventy or eighty"
Old gentleman military man. guest Of
As Squire's, converting with tho smart.
ooking rustic)-" Wounded in the Crimea,
we're you? Badlyy" Rustic The bull.
lot hit me In the chist, here, SUR, an came
put At me back I" Old gentleman-'' The
1euce! Come, come, Pat. that won't do
Why il would have gone right through
-FOUR heart, man Hustle" Och, faix,
me heart was In mo mouth at the thoime,
SURF! ~ Punch.
A gilded youth, who had met with
misfortunes, entered q fourth.o!ass res.
staurant He there encountered = waiter
whom he had formerly seen in the luxuri-
gus establishments which he himself had
trequented. WHAT" said the waiter,
"do you dine here. mir :" SWELL" re-.
turned the other gloomily, "you wait
nere, don't your" . It is true, SIR" re-.
piled the waiter, With conscious dignity {;
out - I do not eat here"
THE subjoined "Opinions Of the Press
IN Kissing" relate to the text which te Il
~ that Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted
up his voice and wept."
If Rachel was pretty girl and kept her
lace clean We can't see what Jacob had to
,rv about. -DtsVy 1eteyr",h.
How do you know but that she slapped
his face for him.. r. N. AssvciatiUn
NeWs.
The cause of Jacobs weeping was the
refusal Of Rachel to allow him to kiss her
again.-Non- C1ntormt.t.
1t is our opinion that Jacob wept be-
cause he had not kissed Rachel before. and
wept for the time lost-NationA IL.
former.
ING I8kl0W WEVL USCuV00 t00 KA1A OA0 Nv
kiss him.-Iht Mall f;asette.
Jacob wept because Rachel told him {.
do II again aud he was afraid to.-4Kethoal
jst iiecOrder.
Jacob cried because she threatened 4
tell her mother. CMrixt1M WOrtd.
Jacob wept because there was only on'
Rachel to kiss. -l~uth1Nrt Netes.
He wept for Joy, because it tasted o
good.-.Je,mah CNwnic'e.
We think Jacob cried because Rache
had been eAtirg onions.
mistake. Not his eyes. but his mout
watered. CAestrr CArOnicIc.
Our opinion is that jacob wept becaus
be found It was not half what it wa
cracked up to t,e.-.nuMchsster Esaminl
and Times.
Jacob thought it was fast color, an
wept to find the paint came ot.-Ft"s III
Gazette.
He was fool. He did not know VIII,
was good for him. Saturday RerisW.
Jacob thought she might have b
brother.-LNwrch 1fmes.
Because there was no time for anothe
-S,o0vd "nd 1Sw,oe.
When Jacob lifted up his voice or
wept he could not get it " high a. he q
pected. -MusicsI Mites.
Weeping ia not infrequently caused
extreme pleasure, joy. happnesa IL miRl
have been NO in jacobs case.-lfnrsfaeich
hcience G0xxip
Jacob wept probably because Rach
pushed him otf.--Ed.
THE Elder DUCK.