Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-10-26
3 Kentucky Mules.

fv.E ~ - sE -
Some days ago q cargo of 400 Ken
lucky mules was shipped from this port
20 Ae1aldria. These mules were os-
,enslbly intended for the use of the Brit
Ish army IN Egypt. Short.sighted peo-
PIE imagined that Sir Garnet wanted the
mules Tor his transportation service -.
MS batteries, but a moments reflection
WIN convince any one that this could
not nave been the case. Sir Garnet had
announced his Intention of finishing the
war not later than the 18th of Septem-
Der, and, as wean know. he has Kent
his word. Why then. should he have
ordered mules 70 be sent to him to draw
either his baggase-wapons or his artii.
iery, when he knew that the animals
could not reach Egypt until after the
end OF the war, and WHY should he send
TO America for draft mules when, as the
event has proved, he had all the beasts
OF burden that he neededp =
furthermore, the British General ia
an intelligent and well-read man, and
ne would never dream of EMPLOYING
hentucky mules in connection with bat
9eries. The experiment was tried dur
ing our civil war, and with the most
disastrous results. In the rare cases
where battery drawn by mules lasted
long enough to reach position assigned
to it on the battlefield it never, proved
to be OF any service The mules. the
moment they were detached from the
guns, invariably began an assault upon
the entire battery. -
The landing of the mules at Alexan-
dria will nnquestionably strike terror to
the Egyptians. The former animals
have brooded over the wrongs they have
endured during their confinement on
smpboard, and they will land in more
than usually gloomy and vindictive
frame of mind. The Arab donkey bows
will crowd around them, regarding them
as new style of donkey, and the p,ules
Will improve the occasion. The 1000
donkey boys will sail simultaneously
throug OH the air, and the mules, whose
appetite win merely have been whetted
by the triiling exercise of kicking ten
donkey boys each, will roam through the
city, ready to take hand-or rather
heel-whenever an opportunity of kick
ing an Egyptian presents itself.
The 400 Kentucky mules, under the
guidance of dozen Kentucky mule
drivers. will constitute the force with
which Mr.. Gladstone proposes to hold
Egypt IN subsection. Marching from
place to place throughout the country,
they will reduce the Egyptians to state
OF aeJect terror. British troops or Brit
ish gendarmes will not be needed, and
the mules will suppress the Chamber of
NOtables and check the spirit of nation
atty in the disbanded army with more
ease and certainty than could the entire
contingent of East Indian troops. 1t is
greatly to be hoped, in the interest of
science, that the mules will be given
fair chance at one of the pyramids.
There are scientific persons in this coun-
try who are ready to bet large odds that
q Kentucky mule can kick the largest
pyramid into ruins in less than twenty
four hours, and although the pyramids
ought not to be wantonly destroyed, it
would be entirely proper to devote one
of them to the purpose of settling the
question whether there is anything on
earth that a Kentucky mule can not
overcome.
No fault can be found by Europe with
the proposed method of occupying
Egypt. Kentucky mules are not open
to the objections which could be urged
against an occupation by British troops,
aud even M. de Lesseps, jealous as he is
of his International relations, will never
think of finding fault with the landing
of few hundred alleged draught ami
mails. 1t is the genius of Mr.. Gladstone
which has devised this brilliant solution
of the Egyptian problem, and next to
his pacifcation of Ireland, it will be his
grandest title to immortal fancy. 7.
Times.