Daily Los Angeles herald., 1882-05-06
TINE DO0RYARD SPECTRE.
An Apparition that Always Accom-
panies the Vernal Season.
Texas Siftings.l


You can see it down here in Texas
already, and in short time it will make
its appearance all over the United
States. Like the prickly heat and boils,
it comes out regularly every spring. We
refer to the spectre of the front yard.
Perhaps the reader does not quite COM
prehend our meaning. We refer to the
woman who plants shrubbery, and grubs
about generally, early every spring, in
her front yard-the woman's front yard,
of course, not the springs. Spring has
not got any front yard of her own.
EARLY every spring the average wo-
man, rich or poor, dresses herself in a
faded calico dress, DISCUSSES herself in a
big poke bonnet, and, armed with q
garden rake, she goes prowling about
like scarecrow on wheels, niger
with watering pot usually bringing up
the rear of the procession.
The question arises: Why does the
average female strive tomake herself so
hideous as to fill dead man with dis
trust, if he were to walk past, when
about the only return for her trouble are
$40 rheumatic pain in her back and a
suggestion from her husband that she
hire a wagon and go around selling veg
etables? The reason why women will
persist in fixing up a garden is simply
because they cannot help themselves.
They are acting from an irresistible i'm
pulse. As Guiteau would say they are
inspired to do as they do. We will try
and explain what we mean.
Why do English sailors strip to the
waist when the decks are cleared for ac-
ton, and why is it that, when two Eng
lishmen fight, the first thing they do is
to pull off their coats ?" 1t is because
their ancestors did so. Julius Cesar
says that when he landed on the coast
of Britain, the natives Invested them
selves of their clothing before they
rushed into the water to meet the Ro
man galleys. Perhaps the ancient
Britons, like the modern editor, only
had one suit and did not care to get it
wet
Why do stockmen of to-day brand
calves that do not belong to them and
gobble up mavericks generally? Because
it is in their nature to do so. The first
stockman we read of, Jacob, played
sharp tricks on Laban, his partner in
the cattle raising business.
Why, in the spring of the year, do
picnics become epidemic, and old and
young, rich and poor, rush off into the
woods to eat their lunch under trees,
and be fed on by ticks and mosquitoes ?
1t is simply because for tens of thousands
of years man was in nomadic condi-
ton. He wandered about with his
family in the woods, living on berries
and being annoyed by insects, and al
though man has become civilized, and
lives in house, yet, nevertheless, about
once year an irresistible desire to re-
turn to his old vagabond life comes over
him, and he just has to go on picnic,
after which he cools down for the rest
OF the year, and puts sweet oil on the
tick bites.
Just so it is with women gardening.
Until quite recently woman had to do
all the hard work in the field. She had
to dig up the ground, plant the crop and
gather it until it became second nature
to her. Her husband was kind enough
to encourage her to keep on by shaking
a stick at her when she wanted to sit
down and rest, but it was below his dig
nifty to work. Such was the condition
of woman from the beginning of time.
1t will be remembered that Adam was
too lazy to gather in the apples, so Eve
had to do it for him. Of course all this
is changed now. All that most women
do in the way of hard work is to dress
up and go to parties, but every spring
she cannot resist the impulse to put on
her worst clothes and drudge with hoe
out in the front yard, as she used to do
thousands of years ago.