The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-06-28
ITEMS OF

thing that ma be said about her is not
SO.
After marriage the question as to who
shall be speaker of the house is speedily
settled.
The colored belle would wear bangs if
she could do so without pulling the wool
over her own eyes.
Miss Chamberlain. who is making
such a sensation in London, is from
Cleveland, Ohio.
When at home the Chinaman is a
Monaghan. When in the United States
he is a Musfgolian.
A lawyer in Ohio has been disbarred
for stealing sheep. The Ohio bar thinks
the line should be drawn somewhere.
Enquirer-What does the corner Of a
card turned down mean? Means the
other fellows cheating. Watch him?
Mr.. w. E. Forster, the late Irish sec
rotary, is a crack shot with rife and re
volver, and is said to carry one Of the
latter.
The House Of Commons had not until
last month sat on the Derby day for
t~hirty-six years. 1t is not to form q pre-
cedent.
The best female circus rider in Russia
is Donnedrefisky. She turns a double
somersault through a hoop and carries
her name along.
The Syracuse Herald notes the fact that
since Bright invented his disease 40
body appears to have taken out a patent
for an improvement on it.
We are told that "the evening Wore
on but we are never told what the
evening wore on that occasion. Was it
the close of q summers day:
It is remarkable that Q'ConnelTs fam
lily do not take the slightest part in Irish
agitation to-day, and the sons of Mr..
Smith O'Brien hold as severely aloof
from it:
"Jeweled carriers are all the rage
says a fashion authority. Yes, we've
UOtlctu eIII-OI aC l0asI tiIGIe were bOIle
in a show window marked seventy-five
dollars.
A false prophet is stirring the Egypt
ians into a rebellion. In America false
prophets merely guess at the weather
and sell their almanacs at twenty-five
cents each.
An Albany man has just received let
ters patent for q device for opening stove
doors. Nevertheless we venture to pre-
diet that the average woman will still
stick to a piece Of scorched rag and her
fingers.
Governor Porter, of Indiana, is one of
the most graceful impromptu speakers
in the country, but he and his friends
acknowledge that when he began his
address to the inmates of the State
prison, not long ago, by saying II am
glad to see SO many Of you here" he
vas both ambiguous and equivocal.
A Cincinnati woman was swinging in
a hammock in the seclusion Of her back
and her feet hung down. A neigh +
looked through the fence and crieu.
''Shoot them feet!n He was prosecuted
and, though he protested hat be meant
noadverse criticism OF the feet, nor dis
respect Of the owner, was fined s..
A Boston editor left his widow a mil
lion dollars. III q year she married the
clergyman who was the tutor Of her
boys. She now wants a divorce from
him on the ground Of drunkenness. inf
deity mot the Rob Insersoll kind,
spendin her money and wasting her es-
tate. Such is her story. The only inn
probable part is the first Of it. Anybody
who believes that an editor left his wi e
q million dollars ct.n believe the rest of
it, for the rest happen every day.
Mr.. J. r. Keene's four-year-old bay
cot FoxhalI won the race for the gold
cup, valued at 100 sovereigns. at Ascot.
The betting en- Foxhall was 2 to 1. The
other two horses were not backed. 1t
was ccnsideIed that Petrcnel WIS the
only other starter who had any chance
against Foxhall. At the start Faugh-a-
Ballagh led Petronel by almost twelve
len gths, Foxhall being far behind. The
leader made the running from Petronel.
while Foxhall gradually closed up the
gap. and coming round the last turn q
quarter Of a mile from home, went to the
front and wen easily. The winner was
ridden by Cannon.
--a y. ssDp = @
What the Widow had on Her Mind.
a legislator wa reading q newspaper