The Columbus journal., 1882-09-27
Old Maids
II e loss than forty ynars sinpn

It Is less than forty ear since that
courteous gallant and fopling of phrases.
MIR. n. p. Willis. characterized the class
of single women 5 The Dried-ups."
One can not imagine Il writer of equal
reputation. a gentleman of equal breed
ing committing such a 'discourtesy to-
day. From his point of view it was rs
if a ~hunchback should be tainted with
his bent spine. or a crOSS-eyed man with
: his ObliQuity of vision: for he assumed
that unmarried women were celibate be-
cause they were so plain. so poor in
charms, so unattractive, that no man
would marry them.
If literature and society are better
hammered nOw, regarding single
women with courtesy and often
with admiration, it is because our theO-
ries about them are made to square more
nearly with our facts. 1t is matter Of
common observation that in every circle
some of its most delightful members are
maidens past their youth. They are
cultivated. witty, gracious, hOspitable,
charmingly dressed, dinpante, from the
ruff at their threats to the rosettes on
their slippers. Are these the women
whom men pass by? Or there are those
others who do not choose society, but
who are the ded ca machina in so many
households. the power behind the throne
greater than the throne itself; the incar-
nate judgment, wisdom, economy, liber-
ality of the family. Are men so dull that
they do not see how these bountiful Ones
hold happiness in their hands and scatter
it broadcast?
Thackeray, that tenderest of cynics.
that most serious of testers, declared
that any wOman might marry any man.
if she would. And it is certainly true
that most old maids have declined to
pay the price of marriage. The Just
cause and impeachment which have with
held them from the holy estate of matri-
mony have been from within, not from
without. They certainly do not hold
themselves too good to marry. They
cOncede that true marriage is the ideal
state. But it has beer their fortune not
to find that other half and fultillment of
themselves, whose coming could alone
justify the vOwing of VOWS. They are
too honest. too brave. and too pure to
use marriage As a make-Shift. And it
is plain that there cannot be in existence
more thonghtiul, % large-hearted,
mere self-sacriticing. more modest, ten
der and truthful women than these.
As the world comes to see that a
m is rs separate an entity. as dis
tinct an individuality, as a man, it will
pay less and less regard to her accidents
and more to herself. 1t will not take it
for granted that she has had a ..disap-
pointment' at a tender age, or buried
her youthful lover, or been the victim OF
a misunderstanding" if she write her
self Mss at forty. Nor will it audibly
wonder why a charming woman is I'M
married after twenty-five. 1t will ad-
mire her for her admirableness, whether
that has had the certificate of some mans
expressed appreciation or not. 1t will
permit her to live her own life.
But though it was the old notion of
feminine incOmpleteness and subsection
which made the lot of single women a
reprOach to the unthirking, they them
selves have not been blameless. Their
patience has been too endless. their
meekness o lOng-suifering, their sub
mission too complete. Almost with one
accord have they consented to efface
themselves. as the French say. grieving
the while in silence that married sisters
and preOccupied brothers-in-law and gay
young nieces-alas. that even disap-
pointed parents-were SD ready to efface
them. FOrthere is a certain sanction in
acceptance. When they acquiesce in the
general verdict that they are nobodies,
they enter the final judgment.
Gals sa.,,tinn /, a virt,n rnroh mic
understood. To deny ones self for a
great end. to help the weak. to relieve
the b%urdened, that is heroic. But only
to sew for the idle, to take steps for the
incOnsiderate, to pamper vanity and
folly with endless services, to be an I'M
paid upper servant for inappreciative
kindred to make ones self of no &C.
count that selfishness may prosper. this
is slavish, and perpetuates tyranny. This
degrades and belittles her who ministers,
as it initiates and misleads her who is
ministered unto.
The single woman may maintain that
precious dignity of bearing which COM
mands respect. If her plate be below
the salt, it is left her to prove that where
MacGregor sits is the head of the table.
Nor should she slight her dress, and put
away from herthe ornaments and graces
of life. They are her armor and de-
Tense, her argument and appeal. For it
is for her to show, in her own person,
how much more is the woman than the
wife. and how incOntestable is her right
to a place in the house, in society, and
in the world.
All women love love. The hope of a
home of her own, of a fond husband and
the touch of baby hands stirs early i'm
every maiden's heart. 1t is with sense
of loss and hardship that she sees that
hope fade without fruitiOn, when
1.-THE God of bounds,
Who sets to seas a shore.
Comes To her in His silent ouuds