davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

AN OLDI JOKE ON RUSSELL ERRETT.-
Speaking of Rus sell Errett recalls funny
incident in his Congressional career which
has never before been printed. His resem-
blance to Bill Tweed was so great that even
the friends of the ex-boss were deceived by
it. On one occasion John Morrissey and a
party of boon comrades had rundown to
Washington "on flyer" as they expressed
it. While lounging in front Of Willard's Er-
rett entered the hotel and passed up stairs to
his room. ''AIy GodP' exclaimed John Nor
rissey, there's Tweed" lit was several
days after Tweed's escape from jail when all
the detectives in the country were at their
wits ends to effect his capture ''He will
certainly be arrested" said another of the
party, eff he exposes himself in this fashion. !"
1t was accordingly agreed that the boss
should be chided for kis impradence and
then smuggled on board their yacht in the
river and conveyed 20 some safe hiding place
But the boss bad disappeared. They raced
all over the town. They fumed and fused
and perspired, but all to no purpose. AtIast,
when they were all tagged out. and almost
ready to die of fatigue, they encountered the
pseudo boss in the bar-room, quietly slipping
a 'slep. Judge Of their disgust when they
found him TO be a reputable PENNSYLVANIA
Congressman and not the eK-Tammany chief
The story was too good to keep, and Il leak
ed out, as such things usually do. Morrissey,
who was philosophical chap, appreciated
the joke and set up the champagne right roy
ally, but Errett who was greatly annoyed at
the whole affair, and who could see nothing
funny in it, refused to drink the wine and
declined to see where the joke came in
Baltimore Day.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
THR BOOM AND THE BABY.
A WARNING FOR ENTHUSIASTIC DEMOCRATS
-BABIEs DO MOST OF THEIR GROW
ING THE FIRST FEW YEARs

Having now somewhat recovered from
their astonishment at the dimensions OF their
victory, Democratic leaders everywhere are
fastening to express their sense Of the great
responsibility it places upon them, and to
declare what the party will do when it gets
control of both branches Of Congress, and
above all what great things are ct down for
1884. All this recalls little incident in the
life Of our FIRST parents.
When Cain was born he was q genuine
surprise to Adam and his estimable wife
Tney had never had such thing in the house
before, and had no experienced aunts to tell
them what to do with it, But Cain was a
pushing child and quite capable OF raising
himself If occasion demanded One of the
first things he taught his proud and happy
father was that healthy infant required a
vast amount of carrying. No matter how
much hay was down and a rain coming up
when little Cainy decided to take ride on
pas shoulder there was nothing to do but to
take him up. He contrived to keep Adam
trotting about pretty much all the time
Now, of course, they had weighed the child
when it was born. Green as they were they
knew enough to do that. They had not the
approved appliances for aseertaining which
are in common use now, even by the dogs
meat man, but by taking his little Cain in one
hand and a stone of about equal weight in
the other. and estimating the weight of the
stone, Adam figured out that the baby weigh
ed about 10 pounds, ounces. He probably
exaggerated few ounces. There is no au-
thentic record Of time when young fathers
told the strict truth about the weight Of their
first born. and it is safe to say that Adam
was no better than his descendants in this
regard
The child grew and fiourished and kept his
father up at night for a month Adam had
noticed that the ba by was more Of q load than
he used to be, and at the end of the month he
weighed him again. Twenty-one pounds
now. Father Adam sought out a smooth
place on the barn door and soft stone and
began to figure. By and by be called Eve
''This thing evidently doubles its weight once
a month. In month more it will weigh ~
pounds. IN two months il will weigh 81
pounds. I've figured it out as far as have
room on this door, and here's what it comes
to- In two years our darling will weigh
351, ,921 ,636 pounds. and in the name Of hea-
ven, Eve, how am going to carry all that?"
Ewes answer is not OF public interest, and
it Is improper to pry into the private life OF
a worthy couple, both OF whom are now dead,
except so far a : it is necessary to point the
moral We all know how needless was Ad-
ans alarm. The child didn't continue to
grow at that, rate and before the two years
expired it was capable Of caring for itself.
Time lightens all burdens, and boom
doesn't keep on the way it begins any more
than a baby PittSbtlrnh Disnnfch
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
How Angus Mcdonald Sold His Farm.
A GAME WHICH CATCHES NO NEWSPAPER
READER.

GAA6 WHICH CATCHES NO NEWSPAPER
READER.
Angus Macdonald was a farmer from
CharlotteburG, County Glengarry, who ar
rived at Winnepeg a few DAYS ago. Angus,
| in his own estimation and in the estimation
of his friends, was shrewd man. He was
hardly in the place before an old acquaint-
ance of his ran up against him, slapped him
on the back in a friendly way, and said
'1'm glad you've come up. I was just
going to send for you"
After their greetings he continued:
by the way, Angus, you own farm out
near Minnedosa %
"Yes"
How much will you take for it?''
81 don't know" said Angus. Il thought
of settling on it myself
"Well. I'll tell you what I'll give you
&c, 600 for it,"
Angus thought before leaving Glengarry
that if he got 500 for it he would be doing
well, but he was now in the land of Dooms
and so he asked for it Sc. 500.
"Well, here's $50 on the bargain and we'll
sign the papers tomorrow" And the pur-
chaser rushed off
against another old acquaintance.
"Glad to see you, Angus glad yon came
up. There's q splendid chance for you.-
BY the way, I see you registered as owning
n farm near Min1edosa. How much do you
want for that farm %
1--WE just sold it" said Angus
"How much did he give you?"
''Six thousand five hundred dollars
"The dickens he did Why, I'll give you
SIS. 900 for it. You go to the purchaser and
get him to release you, and I'll give you the
SIS, ,OOO."
Angus wished that he was back in St.
Raphaes or anywhere else, since he had
made such fool of himself However, ali
he could do was to try and get the farm
back. So who does he run across within fif-
teen minutes but purchaser No. L.
Says Angus I'm sorry sold you my
farm. I'd like to get it back. Here's your
$50 and we'll be where we were.'
"Oh, can't do thatl / bought the farm
and will have the papers ready to morrow"
After further higgling, Angus offered him
$500 to break the bargain.
With great reluctance the first purchaser
took the s5OO-1Oo new IS bills on the bank
of Montreal-and gave back to Angus the
temporary agreement Of sale.
Angus was a happy man and got out to
find buyer No 2.
He found him not No. 1 and No. 2 were
pal confidence men. Angns was the sucker
from Ontario, and $3.50 was the net amount
that they stunP him for.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
give. Eutire sefj,fa.tIoD.

As evidence that Foord's Tonic Cordial is
Just as efficacious now as it was forty years
ago, read the following letters
Americus Bell, OF matawan, Y. j., Sept.
1e, 1881, saws: '1t affords me pleasure to re-
commend DR.. FooTd's Tonic Cordial l have
used it with greater satisfaction than any
like preparation / have ever tried"
E T. Goodall East New York, l.. l., April
8, 1882 ,isays regard Foord's Tonic Cordial
by far the most efficacious remedy for Diar-
rhpa and Cholera. 1t has acted on me as no
other remedy ever has. and / would not be
without bottle in my house under any cir
cumstances.
W, J. Latha, OF University Station, n. C.,
says: / have used EDEY'S CARBOLlC
TROCHES for sore throat with the most sat
isfactory results.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

COMPLETELY HEMlIED 1E.-TwO Of the
many Massachusetts, people TO whom the
thought of Ben Butler as Governor Of the
State has been a nightmare Of the largest
calibre, are young married couple living in
town few miles below Springfield They
talked it over, shudderingly, the day before
election. The husband said that although
Buffers election was confidently predicted.
he could never believe that the grand old
party would ever allow the grand old com
monweslth to be blighted with the desolatinq
ignominity OF such an event he had too
much faith in the wisdom and mercy Of an
Oyerruling Providence to credit the idea for
an instant. But if the worst did happen he
could no longer breathe the tainted air Of his
native State. 'If Butler should be elected, -
said he to his wife, 1--WE will pack right up
tomorrow and move into another State. No
more Massachusetts, for me-
1t was late when he woke in the morning
after election day. His wife had been up
some time and Of her he inquired about the
preparations for breakfast. 81 have been
busy" was her reply, "but not with the
breakfast. L am packing up and getting
ready to move because you said we must get
out of the State to-day, sure. "Gimme that
paper" said the head of the family. His
wife handed over the Springfield Republican
and Buffers deadly foe surveyed it for some
minutes sadly and silently. Il guess" he
observed mOurnfully to his partner as be
threw the paper aside, "thstyou can uupack
those things and get breakfast. don't care
much about living in Massachusetts, much
longer, but just cast your eye over that paper
again and tell me what State there is left for
me to 90 to. Perhaps you can find one, but
/ can't. They've all sone the same way"
That family has not moved.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

A BATHING STORT.-''Sinc'' Barnes tells
a Nevada paper a story Of his experience at
Santa Monica, the new summer resort Of
Southern California. 81 was down in that
section few months ago, said ''Sinc, and
pretty nearly busted when / fell In With
Jones, the senator, and told him nv cCndi-
tion. He fell right uD abreast Of the titua-
ton and told me he could give me 100. I
want lot Of men to keep in the wster all
day TO show visitors how delightful surf
bathing is. You see these people from the
East have acquired & sort Of prejudice
against the Pacific ocean, and want to
countersct the feeling. I want you 70 boss
eight men and keep them tumbling around
In the billows, the sport OF the laughing sea,
in striped costumes-men who can run out
on the beach every ten minutes and tel how
warm the water is Well, 1 caught the
idea, and agreed to furnish the crowd for
$50 day, and we closed the bargain L
hired eight men at p head to battle al the
afternoon, and I pocketed the balance.
got green and blue stripped suit, with the
flag Of the Union across the stomach and
rushed about keeping the gang alive. The
second day they struck for q because the
water was 80 cold. tried to explain about
the trade winds and harvest moon tide, but
they wanted the money all the same. Then
three quit, but Jones didn't miss 'em, and
kept even financially. Then two froze 10
death right on the beach, and I had 30 get
= corOner's jury to find verdict from over
heating in the water. The balance Of the
gang left, and had to 20 Il alone. got 50
Injured to the cold that could rush cut OF
the water, skip up to the English tourists
and tell 'em it was iust lovely and keep my
teeth still all the while. 1 got my SO every
night, and spent It all for warm dIinks-
Then l quit as my constitution wss giving
way. When left he had eight Irishman OF
the railroad doing the bathing for the hotel,
and they had fire going All tie while back
Of some rocks, where the men could warn
Up between the svlms. That Is a great eli
mate down there"
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
Real Estate at Private Sale !

II'HE undersignsd offers at private sale s valua-
Il FAhm, situate in Munter township. one mile
west OF Cressons containing IS5 Acres. Sbou: IS
Acres cleared, having thereon erected a large two
story FRAHH DWELLIGs HOUSE,. PLANK STA Biz nd
necessary outbutldings. There is an orchard OF
ehsice fruit trees and an abundance of good water
on the promises. The land 10 in the vicinity OF
good markets, and is well adapted for farming ana
raising stock. For terms apply to
JOHN T. SCANLAN
sept ], lSS7-sm. EbensburK Pa
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
NUMBER Al.

as this there is world differing so widely
from the one we dwell upon that we can only
admit the possibility of its being inhabited
by assuming that its Inhabitants are as unlike
ourselves as their world is unlike ours.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
sept !, 1881

NJ OTICE.-The second and partial ac-
4N count Of John A. Blair and John Lloyd As
signses Of N. J. FreldhOh. has been nlsd in the
Prsthonotary's once OF Cambria county and will
be presented 10 the Court OF Common Pleas OF said
county for confirmation on the nrst Monday OF De-
cember next JOHN &. GATES Proth'v.
PaothonOtary's once. EbensburE. Nov. IA. 1881.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

SCIENTISTS teach that insects have their
affections, and now an exchange knows Of =
MOSQUITO that was mashed on young lady.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

ull0lElrhelI AAQ EsAellAur Voices 8
Auultor = NoLlced-- 4
STRAY and similar Notices ..--..-.....-.--.-- -
Business items. FIRST insertion Ice psr lire sasE
subsequent insertion Sc. per line.
~ Resolutions OF proceeding Of onp ss-ssrasssu
o. society, and Communications eeFigned 70 csu .ffr
ron 70 any gdffeT Of ffnlited i1dfuidasI fsfs-srf
F1~sf Be psid for c. advsrfiseasnfs.
JOB PEISrIse OF all kind neatly and srps4S-
outIy executed At lowest prices Don't Tou forrea
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
Advertising Rates.

The large and relfsbIe circulation e. ths eAH-
BTIA FEKKSAS conlrnends It - the fnrs ole osn-
sideration of advertisers. whose faVOrs via Be m
lerted 81 TIE lolloELnE Low ratoI.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

ADYEKTBERsi send for our Select List Of Local
NeEsPAPSes dsos,P. RoUeH Co, 10 Spruce
Street New YoFk.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01

FEW men who imbibe the rye ever ac-
knowledge the corn.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-12-01
ORPHANS COURT SALE


e O'CLOCK, P. N, the following described real
estate, the property OF Emanuel Dishsrt,
late Of Carrnll Rahir derRhsrd
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-09-09
What General Spinner Saw.

From the Florida Dispatch.
General Spinner, the hero that used to sign
the treasury notes, sends the following descrip-
tive letter ola fight among sea monsters on the
coast of Florida, on South Beach, below May
port: 'Early yesterday morning, as went for
my usual surf BATH accompanied by my daugh-
probably seldom been seen. The ocean was
unusually placid, but a strange commotion in
the surf was noticed. On nearing the shore it
was seen that fierce battle was raging be-
tween two schools of fishes. one Of sharks and
the other OF sawfsh. 1t was high tide and the
water was quite shallow. so that the caudal and
dOrsal fins of both these kinds of sea monsters
were constantly seen above the water. The on
slaught of each of the cOmbatants of which
from sixteen to twenty were in view. was
fierce and terrific. disabled saw-fsh was
stranded. waded into him and with the edge
of piece of floor board gave him the coup de
grace. He measured nearly fifteen feet and
carried sword saw three and half feet long,
with over fifty teeth on it's margin. 1t was
found that one of the sharks had bitten piece
out of his 81 de equal to a foot square. through
which his bowels protruded
SAT one time it looked as if another pair Of
the cOmbatants would be stranded for in their
struggle they came so near the shore that they
touched bottom all the time, but they finally
managed to join their companions in deep water
and after fifteen minutes all the belligerents dis
appeared, to the great relief of those who cared
more for sea bathing than for seeing the terrific
fights OF sea monsters. My daughter will carry
the saw of the captured fish to her home as a
memento and trophy OF the great conflict and
for an addition to her cabinet of ocean curiOsi-
ties"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-09-09
A NOVEL FIRE DEPARTMENT.
What One Sees At a Fire in a German
Town.

correspondent writing from Bayreuth. In
describing fire says: The night arrived l had
the unexpected pleasure Of seeing a comedy. 1t
was genuine German comedy, too. Its subject
matter was the efforts of the Bayreuth fire
brigade to put out fire. l was awakened from
sound sleep by the loud beating of drum
under my windows. could hear drums beating
in various parts of the city, the church bells were
ringing, there was the heavy tramp OF soldiers
through the street, people rushing about and
shouting 'Fire"-in fact every indication
of fire except the noise of the engines.
A house little way down the street
was burning. crowd had gathered there.
l found the infantry guarding a patch
of beans the cavalry stationed about the pOta-
to patch with flashing sabers. and the artillery
drawn up around pear tree. The flames were
cracking merrily among the beams. At last,
around the corner appeared six big Germans
carrying small ladder, and, after them. six
small Germans carrying big ladder. These
twelve Germans wore green suits and brass he'll
NETS. When they had managed to place the
big ladder against the front of the house they
ran away again. After while we heard rat
Ting as though dog with tin can tied to his
tail was running through the next street. The
twelve Germans again turned the corner, draw
ing after them what looked like tin box on
wheels. 1t was the fire-engine-an open tin
box with a hand-pump. A hose was attached.
A fireman mounted the ladder. Another fire.
man carried the hose up to him. Meanwhile
women with large wooden painters strapped to
their backs brought water from the neighbor-
ing fountain and emptied it into the engine.
Finally, everything was ready and the pumping
began. Several large streams of water came
from the joints of the hose and wet the by
ISLANDERS. A small stream came from the nozzle.
The fire was such a trifie that they really man.
aged to get it under control They decided to
adjourn. In about an hour they came back and
inic had thair I hn, p,r-r
to another that after ali the Bavreuth fire bri-
gade was the best in the world The next day
the city counsel voted resolution OF thanks
and compensation of 121 cents to the women
who carried the water from the fountain to the
engine. During the "Parsfal" performances
the tiremen are distributed through the theater.
This seems to me unnecessary-the building
could burn down without their assistance.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-09-09
FLIES CLIMB.
The Accepted Theory of Suction i'm the
Feet Disputed.

From the Popular Science Monthly.
Herr I'll. DEWITT has communicated to the Ber-
liz Society of Natural History some facts that
bear very strongly against the generally received
theory that flies adhere to perpendicular walls
and ceilings by virtue Of some sucking power in
their feet. lie asserts that the feet of flies can
not possess the sucking property ascrbed to
them for they are hard and destitute of muscles
The theory has long been contradicted by the ex-
perments of Blackwell who found that flies
could climb the sides of a jar under the receiver
of an air-pump. where there was no atmOs-
pherIc pressure. and who asserted that the
power of adherence was Que to q sticky
matter secretcd from the f3o-i;iirs OF flies This
assertion was generally regarded as not proved
aad the case has rested there DEWITT reports
that his Investigations have shown that Black
wall was right. He has watched the emulation
OF the sticky matter from the feet of the flies by
fastening one of the insects to the Under side of
plate of glass and viewing it under the micro
scope A perfectly clear liquid was seen to flow
from the ends of the foot hars and attach the
foot to the glass. When the foot was lifted up
TO be put down in another place the drops of the
sticky matter were perceived to be left on the
glass, III the exact places where the fOOt-hairS
had rested The adhesive fluid appears to pass
down through the hollow of the hair and to be
derived from glands which Leydig discovered i'm
the folds of the foot in 1859. 4 similar adhesive
matter appears to be possessed by bugs by
many larvae and probably by all insects that
Climb the stems and the under sides of the leaves
OF plants.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-09-09
THrsTLEs AND GOLDEN ROD.
The Autumn Plants That May be Put
to Use by Clever. Fingers.
From the Boston Transcript

From the Boston Transcript
Now is the time to gather thistles for room
establishment. There may be some who do not
know how to transform them into the white
puffy balls which are sold In the stores and on
the street. For such the following: Gather
them when in full bloom; those gathered a little
early will bloom in water. Holding by the pink
top, insert a pocket-knife under the green points
nearest the stem and bend them back. They
will readily break off, and the longer points will
follow easily. The next thing to do is to pull
out the pink If they are fully bloomed this can
be done without taking any of the white. silky
ibers that are laid bare on removing the green.
Hang them then by the stems in a sunny win
dow few days and you have delicate, pretty
things to nil the vases when the garden and
wild flowers are gone. They may also be used
effectively In conjunction with autumn leaves to
cover picture cords. Then it is better to cut off
the still stems and string the balls on thread.
Large punches Of golden rod seem to be the
present correct street decoration for the cor
sage. They are worn at the belt or just over
the heart. The addition of two or three large
th!stes gives one a very formidable tOuch-me-
not appearance. The miss who dareS wear them
has presumably learned the secret of handling
the prickly things, which is simply to press the
hand firm y and with the courage that will grow
with experience, in the direction of the points,
that is, toward the purpsl-pnk tops.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-09-09

From the Philadelphia Times.
When Gen. Alexander Ogle served SOmerset's
''frOsty sons of thunder in the PENNSYLVANIA
legislature it fell to him to write, in behalf of
the democratic members, a letter to Gen. Jack
son, then stepping across the presidential thresh-
old. Such work of the scribe was labor of
love, and In submitting to the caucus what he
had written, Gen Ogle said "Gentlemen and
members of the democratic party hold in my
hand letter addressed by Gen. Alexander Ogle
to Gen. Andrew Jackson, and have no hesi-
tation in saying that it is damned able
paper" The members. gathering around, agreed
that the letter was just the thing to make Old
HickOry's heart thump with satisfaction, and all
except one, a dapper little Philadelphia. spoke
words Of praise This dandy of the House, fix
ing his glasses and scanning the page with the
critics smirk, ventured to remark: "Pardon me-
General, do not wish to assume to make sug-
SELF but cannot refrain from saying that it is
customary In the east and may say in al
most all the civilized countries of Europe, to
write with the capital I, instead Of the little
T. in using the personal pron0un IN epistolary
correspondence" Gen. Ogle drew down his
heavy brows, piercing the dandy's marrow with
the fierce shaft Of sc0rn that shot from his eye
s1Sir," he said, beginning with hiss and ending
with a roar, 'swhen write to such q great. such
q tOwerin' man as Gen. Andrew jackson. demo-
cratic President OF the United States, abase
myself, abase myself, sir. use as small an SO"
as can put on paper; but, sir. If should ever
get to such l0w-down pitch as to have to
write to q damned little snipe as y0u, I'd use an
T. sir, that would Ill two sheets Of foolscap, SO
help me God"