The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1882-06-08
WANTS TO BE A BIRD.
A Poetess Who Does Not Take in the Entire
Situation.

A Postess Who Does Not Take in the Entire
Situation.
An Iowa girl.poet sends US q
poem, the first line of which is as
follows:
Il would were bird"
That settles her hash. No birds
need apply. What in the wide
world looking healthy girl
wants to be O bird for is more
than We can imagine. Granting
that an Iowa girl-poet is as hand
some as a statue, how like thun-
der she would look as a bird, sit.
ting on q rail fence 90 one leg,
scratching her feathers with me
claw, or hopping down under
gooseberry bush scratching for an
gleworms with her bare toenails.
If the girl poet bird should find
an angleworm she would run
away and scream. But maybe it
is not that kind of bird she
wants to be. There is no kind of
bird that can have so much fun
SIS girl. As girl she can 60 TO
all the places Of amusement, dance
and firt and get mashed, but as a
bird, with nothing on but feathers,
she would catch cold. Imagine q
girl,poet flying around in the
trees, hopping from limb. She
would have the whole town watch
ing her, and making remarks.
Think how a girI.poet would feel
if she was a bird, and should be
moulting. She would watch every
feather that dropped of, and won
der how long the feathers were
going to hold out. And then, if
the girl-poet was a bird she would
have to set, if she was that kind
of poet, Or bird and the setting
would commence just when there
was the most going on in society,
and she would have to stay right
by regardless, and after the poet
bird got off the nest she would
look sick, and it would take six
weeks to recruit up so as to make
a decent appearance in bird So
ciety. IF girl-poet desires to be
a bird in order to get out of any
of the duties Of life so as to have a
high old time chirrupiDg around
stealing cherries, and singing the
livelong day', she makes a mis-
take. Birds may seem to be free
from care, and to have a soft
thing, but they have heap of
trouble. There is the same jea:.
ousy and backbitiug among birds
that there is among human be.
ings, and a good looking, we'll.
dressed bird, who has any style
about her, and is a trife indepen
dent and jolly, will find that she
will get hor feathers rumpled: and
and be called names, and she will
wish some boy with a bean
snapper would fire load of beans
right through her. Our Iowa
poet does not say what kind of a
bird she would like to be, but We
can't think Of any kind of a bird
that would be as good as a girl.
Of course she wouldn't want to be
a canary bird or a mocking bird in
a cage, and have to sing for hemp
seed and mocking bird food, and
look out for cats. She would pro-
baby want to be a wild, out door,
go-as-you please sort of bird
Well, there is none of that kind
that are perfectly safe, and who
always have a good time. If our
girl-poet bird was duck or a wild
goose, she would be flying along
some day when there would be a
puff Of smoke under her, and she
would feel as though she had a
hot box, and would 60 off and sit
on a muskrat house all night,
picking No. 5 shot out Of her
dark meat, or the second joint, or
elsewhere, as the case might be.
There wouldn't be much fun IL
that. If she was a pigeon she
would be caught in trap and have
her neck wrung. And whatever
kind Of bird our poet might be.
she would have to scratch gravel
for living and eat worms. The
outlook would rot be frst-class,
The only bird she could be, and
be success, would be hen, and
have rooster scratch for her,
and then there would be the draw.
back Of having to share the
worms her own darling rooster
might find with a whole flock ol
hane IF our iowa pirI-noet has