New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1882-02-26

The result has proved TO the letter what LIE
TRIBUNE predicted when the struggle first
began.
AMENDING TIE CLINiTE.
II is one thing to abuse the climate OF
North America and quite another to attempt
TO work its reformation. We all, now ana
then. have been equal to the former, but until
lust now no one has arisen audaclous ana
forceful enough to do anything more. Man
kind has occupied pretty much the same at
titude toward the climate OF this continent
indeed toward all climates that they c0nld
moi countenance-as Mr. Robert lngersoll has
occupied toward orthodoxy. That Is to say,
they have been mere iconoclasts They have
nrotested against much of the existing order
of climate, lust as he has protested against the
bulk of the established churches. And precisely
as Mr.. Ingersoll has not succeeded in present.
ing a Trustworthy substitute for the thing
which he has assailed, so they have
failed in presenting to the world Il re-
vIscd and amended North American eli
mate. Even the most profound OF the
professors of applied weather have only been
able to furnish their fellows with "Probabh-
ties" None of them have developed the sweet
possibilities of the article they have been study
ing. As for the average man not up III
meteorOogy. he has looked at the weather
as something which, like Fate, has to be taken
as it comes, and which, like the infallibe pay
ing teller of "a swell bank, in no case rectifies
mistakes.
But we have fallen upon better times, or
times which will soon be better If Professor
Shaer of Harvard University knows himself.
The Professor obviously regards the weather
men of the past as being too crude and con-
servative to deserve anything more at his
hands than goOd-natured derison. They
never conceived of such an idea as a climate
being brought under Christening influences
and there is where they radically differ from
him. He has a dazzling scheme in his
head which he has only to realize
to give the entire American Continent brand
new cosmopolitan climate furnished with all
the modern I'M -ements most valued by
those who catch cold easily. This scheme Of
the Professors is so simple that once it is cx-
planned every man wonders why it never Oc-
cured to him some bitter night as he faced
furious northcaster. Professor Shalers patent
for we presume lie has had the invention
patented,all rights reservoirs explained in brief
by contemporary as follows: "Once on
"a time the japanese current flowed
Through Behring's Straits into the Arctic
ocean. Then the Straits We're wider than
"thcy are now, because forces no longer
"eyisting caused the coast gradually to rise
"The result of the narrowing process was the
"interrupion of the warm current. The
ching to do is to make an artificial channel
d" through the Straits, that the warm cur
trent may pass toward the Pole again. Such
"an achievement would reclaim vast stretch
"of land, giving North America delightful
" climate, dispellmg the rough winters and
&" tempcring the fierce heats of the summer"
1t will be seen that the thing is as easy to
comprehend as the Keely Motor or the Van
Denburg Flying Machine. All you have to
do, dear reader, any time in summer when
it is too hot or any time III winter when
it is too cold, is to 20 up to Behring's
Straits and cut yourself an artificial channel
of the necessary length and thickness OF
course at existing railroad and steamboat rates
from New-York to Behring's Straits the trip
would be n costly one. But doubtless just as soon
as Professor Shaler's scheme takes effectual hold
of the public mind excursion trains will nm
from the City Hall to the Straits with tickets
for the ronnd trip so cheap as to place i'm
proved weather within the reach of the hum
blest. Sunsrokes will soon be thing of the
past, those who deal in furs and furnaces will
20 into bankruptcy, the weather will become
so uniformly fine as to disappear from CONVEX
sation, and capitalists will fight for the control
of the Ncw-I Orb aud Behring's Straits Railroad,
running direct to the orange groves of Alaska.
1t is the contemplation Of such luminous
signs of the untlagging progress of the age
that makes the heart of every apprecative man
dilate with commingled pride and expectancy.
We were taken that way several times at the
Centennial Exposition, but never were so af-
fectedaswe are to-day standing before the work
ing model OF this invention OF Professor Shaler.
Now, truly, the golden age has arrived for 10,
the weather is shortly to be brought under
subsection to man, and each one is to become
the architect of his own climate.
What nextl Any gentleman who can return
satisfactory answer to this question will
please leave his name at this office.
p. S.-The name is not requested for publica-
ton, bat as a guarantee of good faith
AGRICULTURE IN THE C1BINET
For dozen years past, some scheme to cXag
geiate the Commissioner of Agriculture into the
proportionS cf a Cabinet officer of the first