The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-03-24
WHY WE LAUGH.
Christine Nilsson's notes are still good,
though her husbands are not.-Boston
Courier.

Christine Nilsson's notes are still good,
though her husbands are not.-Boston
Courier.
Mr.. Cobb recently married Miss Webb;
be knew they were intended for each other
as soon as he spider.
Next to Ingersoll the greatest nuisance in
this country is the man who answers him.
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
There Is little inconsistency in having a
handsomely framed motto, "Stand up for
Jesus" inside your house, and an icy side
walk In front of it.-Boston Herald.
Miss Araminta GushiDgton speaks of the
'solemn season of loaned" She never
could bring herself to say Lent. 1t is so
painfully vulgar, you know.-Boston Tran
script.
1t is when an actor attempts to make an
extempore speech that we fully realize what
a horrible effect the scandalous grammar of
Shakespeare has had on him.-Steubenpi lille
Republican.
gallery, where citizens may pass the time
between drinks Chicago Netrs. Chicago
would have one, too, but she has no time
between drinks. Louisville Comier-Journal.
Gen. N. P. Banks having accepted an in
vitation to lecture in a New England town,
a wag announced that his subject would be,
"Recollections of Confederate Commits
sary; or, How / Fed Stonewall Jackson's
Army"
The Republican or Democrat of average
intelligence and honesty is in these days as re-
CARDS his party, very much as the good wife
of the story was in regard to her husband, OF
whom she said: 81 love every bone in his
body, but do hate his tarnation ways."-
Phil. Telegraph.
Unfortunate.-A lady who had been travel
ing in Italy was asked by friend how she
liked Venice. "Oh, very much, indeed =
was the reply. 81 was unfortunate enough
however, to arrive there just at the time o.
heavy food, and we had to go about thu
streets in boats."-Sprinaield Republican
Capt. Purcival, Cape Cod mariner Of the
old school, was once awakened in mis- bunl
by a shipmate with the announcement tha
the vessel was going to eternity. "Well,
replied the Captain, "I've got ten friend
over there to one in this world; let her 60.
And he turned over and went to sleel
again.
| A gentleman of the tack-hammer brigad
had an alteration with a man who wa
grumbling at him for driving tack in tn
letter st" In the word "Boston." "Don
you know what a fuss was once kicked u
about sticking tax on tea in Boston," an
then the tack-hammer man firmly but gentl
killed him.-Pomeroy's Great West.
Sleighing Incident.-"Gussie, DEAR" sal
she, as she leaned tender cheek on hi
manly checked ulster, "why are these SNOW
fakes like your moustache ?" This please
him, even to have 1t noticed. 81 don't know
pet" he murmured innocently. "Why al
they ?" "Because they are so slow comm
down." He drove with both hands aft,
this.-Harrard Ldmpoon.
A San Francisco drummer laid over a ds
at Westwood last week, and concluded to {
out with gun and gather in few bear
deer. Going up the side of the mounts a
north of town, he gathered in what he su
= posed to be white and black kitten. {
, let it 60 suddenly, and is now taking bait
at Medical lake in the hope of smellir
sweet once more.-Spokdn Falls Chronicl
: Henry Ward Beecher told Bob Burdet
a the other day that, old as he is, he cam
!, overcome his stage fright for a few momen
4 when he first goes on the platform. v
s don't blame Hank for feeling little 81
n when he appears In public. If we had G
e tablished the reputation he has, we wou
k 60 on the stage disguised as rainwater bs
!. rel or wooden Indian.-Boomerang.
London Truth: ga young friend of mi
+ was dining with his father few nights az
: George said the fond parent when tn
: next met, you took my overcoat instead
your own, and I regret to say found t
% pockets of your coat full of cigarettes al
9 Matches Il discovered my mistake, fathe
u replied the son, directly got outside, fo
g found the pockets of the coat had on co
! tanned chocolate creams and three pairs
ladies' gloves.'"
n Mourning at the White House.-"Anythi
a taken place to-day" asked Mr.. Frelinghu
:, son as he walked IN and elevated his boz
= to the top Of the Cabinet table. .'Nothins
:, replied Mr.. Arthur, without looking up frt
the tantalizIng pages of the Patent Off
;. report. "There were lots of fellows hi
. who wanted to take one, however" TIL
!. doth the oasis of innocent mirth tighten
the barren waste of official life.-Bost
= Transcript.
e. Constable Jones held an execution agai
h a farmer, and when he called for sett
as ment the agriculturist took him out intt
s. big pasture and pointed out wild steer
n. the particular piece of property to be lev
Sc upon. Jones chased the steer around fo
n while, and then sat down and taking out
xt book began to write. "What are you do
ke there ?" asked the granger. "Charging M
age" replied the constable, without look
up. ado have 1t all to pay ?" gasped
rancher. "You bet" "Then take I
tame heifer here. l can't stand any 8,
g game as that t."-Detroa Free Press.
rs Rich Lands.