Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-10-26
hulnor OF the DsJ.

"When did she die!" asked the KING
assuming thxt it was his wife that had
died.
A lady tells something which ought
to have remained q secret with her
sex. 1t is that q woman, in choosing
a lover, considers good deal n ore
how the man will be regarded by other
women than whether she loves him
herself.
His wife has weakness for securing
over the face of the city in hacks
Says friend unto him, "She ALWAYS
seems to be out. Is there no way of
catching herr" "Tell you what" saws
sapient husband, eff you want to find
her just 60 out and hail hack. She
may be in it. It's your only chance"
eyes," said fresh girl at show, 81
know my beau goes out between acts,
but he's nice and never drinks any.
thing but a cup of coffee, because
can always smell it as plain as day,
and / know the smell Of coffee from
beer or whiskey, if l am a little bit
green" 1t is very happy thing for
man to have girls confidence.
Southern papers says the alligator de.
stroys millions 81 moso ultoes by letting
them settle upon his jaws and then
swallowing them. Ladies who are an
noyed by the pests might rid them
selves OF tire nuisance by keeping an
alligator in the bedroom at night, but
there are some women who would pre-
fer the mosquitoes. They would as
u .,,< ~,
alligator.
know hes AL old bachelor horrid, grumpy
thing,
A nasty, spitefsl cross grained ugly fright
wish, John, that such callers to your wife you
would not bring
You know as well as l do it's not right.
Why do l think him siuglel Why Oh, John,
III have a fit.
Did you not hear, you stupid you He called
dear baby IT."
A little 5-year-old friend who was
always allowed tn choose the prettiest
kitten for his pet and playmate before
the other nurslings were drowned was
taken to his mothers sick-room the
other morning to see the two, tiny twin
new babies He looked retlectively
from one to the other for minute or
too, then poking his chubby finger into
the cheek of the plumpest baby he said
decidedly: "Sase this one"
"Good-by, sweetheart" we're his last
words to the beautiful girl who hung
over the front gate and pouted her lips
to be kissed; and then, as he walked
down the street, he soliloquized; ''If |
had all the money have squandered
on oysters and ice-cream and buggy
rides for that girl could buy me an
overcost now," and ''whew" he said
as the wind whistled around the corner,
"I'm a-going to need IL pretty soon,
too"
A certain member Of PaliameAt who
owned extensive estates was spending
a few days at the residence of noble
family. There were severa interest
ing and accomplished young ladies in
the family, to whom the honorable
member showed every attention. Just
mans wife proceeded to consult him
upon matter which, she alleged, was
causing her no little distress. 'It is re-
ported" said the Countress; "that you
are to marry my daughter Lucy, and
what shall we do? What shall we say
aoout it?" "Oh," responded the con-
siderate M. F., 'just say she refused
mew
Hint to subscribers: Subscribers of
the Boomerang who find cross bones
and skull with crest of metallic burial
of their paper will know that their
subscription has expired and that
something has got to be done.
A Brooklyn catch: A Broodly man
no longer asks another, On Sunday
morning: "Are you going . church,"
The query now is; care you going to
hear stump speech this morning
Lasting friendship: "Yes," he re-
marked, George and l are firm
friends; have been for many years, and
will probably stay so May more. We
have solemn compact never to speak
of each others faults"
"Jane," said he, 81 think if you lift
Cd your feet away from the fire, we
might have some heat in the ROOM"
And they hadn't been married two
years either.
Nipped ia the bud: II say, fellows"
exclaimed Fogg, ''have you heard the
news? Brown and his wife have sep
arated." MOI SIS that soY" Chow
did it come about?' Railways thought
it would come to that" "Guess it'll
be better for both of EN-" These
we're few of the expressions that fell
from the lips of the boys as they
eagerly Ground Fogg. yes" said
Fogg, "the Browns have separated. i
saw Brown kiss Mrs. B. good-by at the
depot just now. He said he would be
back tomorrow"
The silver lining: Young Glucky, IF
the Union Club, had been up in Marin
county shooting for week, when he
received a dispatch calling him home.
"My dear boy" said his partner, tax
ing him aside, "haye you the courage
to bear up under a terrible blow?'
"W-w-h- at is ii?' gssped,Glucky. Your
wife has eloped." "Great Scottl" said
the deserted husband; with whom?'
with your tailor" "You don't say so, y
ra,l; al "a n haroavad man with q beam