The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-02-22

Alas, the ldoi IS shatteredj Oscar W ilde
fsnores.
1t is now truly .esthetic to speak of Old
Nick as the dollhouse plant.
Pearly teeth and diamond eyes are de-
lightfal, but a topaz nose is dreadful.
Il takes the whole Legislature to change
mans name. woman can change hers
by the act of a single man.
Swedish Movement Doctor to patient:
'Do you ever knead your bowels2' "Weli,
yes, / need 'em sometimes"
"What is lover" asks everybody, and
somebody replies: at is feeling that you
don't want another fellow fooling around
.her"
"My daughter exclaimed fashionable
mother SIS innocence itself. You can't say
anything in her presence that will make
her blush
Wife: "What do you suppose is the rea-
son there are marriages in Heavenf" Hus-
band: you stupid goose, 1t is to Offset the
fact that there is 20 Heaven in marriage"
"Were to be candied, would say you
were Just about the incest fellow l ever
met" she said, while leaning on his arm in
front Of confectioner's. He bought the
taffy.
Sweet revenge: "When l was an infant"
said FOgg, 1.-The women were forever kissing
me. And" ne added, II have done what |
could to get square with them since have
grown to years of discretion"
. "Do you know, miss, that young Schin-
derhannes has been sentenced to ninety
nine years imprisonment Poor fellow"
sighed the young lady, che will have to
wait so long before ne can marry"
LET us live on the invisible" says Victor
Hugo. And ever since that saying was
translated and printed in American news
pagers, Victor Hugo's works are to be found
! on every boarding house parlor table.
Did you receive on New Years Day?"
asked young lady of another as they met
FOR the first time this year. 81 did not, she
replied, .'but father did; it weighed seven
pounds exactly, and it is just the lovlest
little thing you ever saw.
The worst cut up man of the hour, accord
ing 20 Cleveland paper, is that Western
reporter who, in describing the appearing Of
the belle of the town at local picnic, in
tended to say that she looked au fsit but, of
course. the types had to get it sail feetP
It's funny bat soft-palmed woman can
pass hot pie plate To her nearest neighbor
at the table with a smile as sweet as dis
titled honey, while q man with hand as
horny as a crocodile's back, will drop it on
the floor aud howl around ike Sioux In
dian at = scalp dance.
Two eolored Garkies had dispute on
Austin avenue few days ago. During the
dispute one of them exclaimed Indignantly:
Don't yer tech my honah as 8 gentleman,
sahI' Oars 70 6au ger OBJ techin' yer honah.
/ wouldn't know whar ter look for it. Yer
don't keepit about yer pusson, does yer"
A hateful creatures: "Don't you think
white gloves make ones hands look swfully
big2" asked Angelina, holding out her
gloved hands. is it the gloves that make
them look SO larger" asked Mary quite care
lessly. When Angelina got alone that
evening, she confidently remarked to herself
that somebody or other was great hateful
thing.
Women do not possess logical minds, and
being very imaginative, are therefore not
fitted for debate, so Emerson says, but we
, say that when it comes to q debate as to
whether 1t is accessory or proper Tor man
to go down after supper, woman can give
the most logical man a half mile start, and
not only beat him with her imagination, but
fix it so that ne wont leave the house till
after breakfss. next morning
An illiterate negro preacher once said to
his congregation: "My bredrin, when de
fust man, Adam, was created, he was made
OBJ wet clay and set up agiR de palms to
,dry.' "Do you say" said one of the con-
gregation, rising 20 his feat, "dat Adam
was made ob wet clay an set up agin de pa-
Inns to dry2" Yes, sar; do" "Den who
made de palins?7 ''Set down, sar," said the
preacher slernly; ~sich questions as dat
would upset any system OBJ theology"