Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-02-02

mill goes around with its skirts hoisted
up and a dod gasted spy-glass under
its arm? Well, it dom tell We, and it
don't 60 skyting about with men eitherl
It's mill and it win pump water when
ever you want it to. Understand what
it is now?''
Certainly, DEAR" rejoined Mrs
Spoopendyke, ''but thought you meant
something to put on the chimney when
it don't draw. Now, where could we
keep a wind-millP'
''Chain it up behind the houser' thun-
dered Mr.. Spoopendyke. eth have a
collar on, and we can bring it in nights
OF have a kennel built for it. Got it
now? Think you'd know windmill
if / asked one home to dinnerPn
II know what it is now" whimpered
Mrs Spoopendyke. ''It's thing that
turns around
That's it, snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. at waltzes. You've struck the
idea; with what you know now and
with what you've got to find out, you
only need a good breeze and fight
around the corner 10 be a whole flour
mil"
Il see the report says that you must
give your henchopped turnips once
in a while,'' said Mrs Spoopendyke,
putting her thumb on the paragraph
Either that or cabbages," returned
her husband. ~ don't know whether
We'll have cabbages enough" he con-
tinued musingly.
''You might have less buckwheat,"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendykc. should
think, though, that two acres would be
enough for one hen, and if it isn't, you
can buy load now and then from the
neighbors.
''rll think that over" replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. Here's one thing that
| don't understand. 1t says we should
test few seeds before planting to make
sure they viii terminate, but it doesn' t
say how to do it.
| maybe it means to boil them," sug-
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke; "or perhaps
YOU"
''Or perhaps you think it means to
| crack 'em with an ak to see if they re
hard! Is'pose you've got an idea you
stick straws into EN- as you do into
bread to see if they're done! Well, you
don't; you put acid on 'em. I'll get
some acid and drop 'em in, and if it
discolors 'em they're no good, and if it
don they're all right think we ought
to have some weevil for that pig
50 don't know where you re going to
plant it," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, ''un-
less it will grow with buckwheat or
onions. You can't put it in with the
cabbage, because the pig and hen would
fight
DO YOU know what weevil tsp de-
manded Mr.. Spoopondyke, glaring at
his wife. Got notion that it's some
kind of weed for the pig to smoke,
haven't you? Imagine its gilt-edged
note-paper with u monogram for him to
write on, don't you? Well, it isn't
either one nor it isn't swallow-tail
coat or a plug nat for him to go to
church in, neither! You don't plant
weevil, Mrs. Spoopendyke, any more
than you do soap, or clothes-pins, or
stair-rods. You buy it in barrels, and
L IL order some
Il think we ought to have some lace
curtains for the front windows sug-
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to
change the conversation.
Yes, and we want folding bedstead
for the COW. and we've got to have a
new armchair for the pig, and I'm
afraid those cabbages won't do well
without a wet nurser squealed Mr..
Spoopendye. i suppose I've got to hire
a man to see that the meadow don't go
fishing Sundays and upset your religious
notions. o! you're farmers wife, you
arei If had time to write an index to
you and get some dod gasted binder to
fit you up with fly-leaf, you'd make a
whole agricultural reportr
And Mr.. Spoopendyke shot into the
house and to bed, while his wife having
put all the oil-lamps into buckets OF
water, so they couldn't explode during
the night, fell asleep dreaming that the
cabbage-patch had eloped with the
onions, while the COW and the pig had
died of weevil and the windmill had
abandoned agricultural pursuits and
started off through Ohio preaching the
gospel.-Stanley H,nttey az Western
Farmers AlmdHGc.