The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-07-22
cream OF OUR EXCHANGES.

HnSsing Cain--Sugar planters.
9rek handsCard players.
A novel suit--Yellow covers.
wes.her report-A clap OF thunder.
A good send oli-Bounciug the hired girl.
a cable. dispatch-Killed by the grip.cars.
rbp original ar.head--The balloonist.
rpm Thumb 10 a rich man, ana yet he is al
Rus short.
yae women are MASKING the currant crop all
sss ply.
Two heads are better than one On the penny at
zssRp,
A goodlooklng lass loves 4 good looking
stss.
Mthe doctor orders bark, las not the patient
sssgDi to growl?
A commercial paradox; Tie Shylocks always
Ssss fal on lien law
Ebst is that which is often found where it is
ssts Fault
~so dark and yet so light" as the man said
when rs looked OF his short ton OF coal.
asniteau was evidently sane, but the people are
uss sEre about some of the doctors.
W. ate 81, COS, 433 worth of peanuts last year
HssrY 0reon How many hogs were there of you!
when Adolphus placed his arms around The
sxrck Of Angelina, he said 1t was Tor heoRs
~rrss gurpose.BoSton Transcript
Amaa q, Des Mones kissed his hired girl by
sisiake and had to pay $500 TO settle it. 1t was
OH mistake which hurt her feelings.
MS announced that Senator Ben Hills cancer
wss caused by nicotine, winch got into blister
no his tongue while smoking Morai-Ayo'd
Minister'S on the tongue
Hta outstanding the unusual weather this sea
ssrI, The death rate throughout the entire United
States is lower than it has been for many years
All exchange wttily remarks that sit will be
rxiiey diiiicat TO patch up things In Egypt, SO
a1ng as Cleopatra's needle remains in New
Eogk"
A fish with eight Jaws has been caught at San
n Monica Col. The scientists called in pro-
seunee il q variety OF what is known as the
nother in,aw fish.
Crushed banana is no longer popular
uhaae. The woman who crushed it came down
With sach force that she hasn't been out doors
since that date.
The Albany Post says: Peter Wheat was
Fhiltd as an habtual drunkarG." Wheat and
aArts have always been OF inseparao'e growth. -
Hfnkf,s Gazette
A. Alton, H., q preacher asked all Sunday.
lrhool children to stand up who intended to visit
s7bs wicked, soul destroying circus. All but q
Iamo girl stood up.-lndcpendem.
IT, tod hy a
sasjority. 1t now remains for Iowa 10 carry pro-
Aibition. The law is more than useless unless
Backed up and enforced. Inter Ocean.
Mems night gowns are now built with pockets
ID This will fill u want long felt by commercial
saayeiers, who have heretofore been compelled
"a claw around under The pillow when they need.
sh heir flask.
Rev. Joseph Cook Is lecturlng in Australia.
M Cook will be remembered as Boston gen.
sleman who gave the plan upon which the uni.
verse WAS created his personal Endorsement.
fstirs9o 1rtb,ns
Dnc Of the Malley lawyers described the mouth
MA witness as stretching across the wide desc.
htjcn OF his face, the sepulchrc OF ruin and the
lDnDtain Of falsehood." No wonder they got off.
TALENT like that would clear anybody.
VA IlhH Cdu bc pob w IOlu aIl aTCiC
expedition since the Chicago papers published a
paragraph saying that all the whisky on the
Seaneite was frozen in the early part OF the
-pysge.
CONSERVATION
4 w,s youth OF modest purse
Said soft unto q maid
which would YOU rather tackle next
We cream or lemonadey"
Across the maden's rosy cheek
Fast fits winning smile;
"pll order some OF both" She said.
Heaven help the young mans pile
Eastern fishermen are reported to se in despair
i, the prospect Of Tie destruction OF the trout
STRAINS which ar, 10 BE made navigable, under
1hs provisions Of the river and hsrbor appropria.
Ion bill.
King Thebaw, @! Rurmah. has pu, 70 death an
Inferior wife, two Ealf.ssters OF the Chancellor
The Exchequer anG fifty OF their relatives.
several Ohio men will leave for Burmah this
week, to run for coroner.
DR.. Bell, OF New York, il sg-e that germs of
Esesse remain in ice after it is frozeu.--E1change.
stbey are in ice OF all tmust De after IL is frozen
&c don't have aay guiroLcn leo III this country.
ScqTiStotrH H,TUa.
Nichigan society. At q wedd!ag in Bay City,
slew nights ago, the young uia!e guests were
ssgsr to dance with the bride. which favor she
gladly granted on condition that they ante up 81
zach, which they did ana she stuck the ucre
own her dainty stocking leg.
TRUE ENoUGH.
What is home without an oil can,
What lie home without poker;
What Is home without a woman,
And q man 10 hug and choke her?
What Is home without garden,
And q faithful wife TO make il,
And darling whom the parents
Both cau often take and shake it,"
Boston Star.
IN n breach OF promise suit in Montana, the
plaintiff said that the defendant lad failed to ap
SsT at the time agreed upon for the ceremony
Re siterwarG came TO The house, but she, being