Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-11-23
Telephone.

for the first time he acts as if his very life
depended on the effort. He CLUES his mouth
over the oriice in the transmitter, and hear
ing the salutation from the other end of the
line shuts his eyes and yells at the top of
his lungs: ''Do YOU hear mc?" The sound
waves cannot escape, us every part of the
hole is covered, and they are violent enough
to make his teeth rattle. OF course the per-
son with whom he is end cavoring to talk
cannot make out word he says. tits all jar
gon. ftherc is no one to tell him better
the man will rcdoublc his efforts to make
himself heard. He will yell until he is
black in the face and horse as Il fog-horn
and finally consign the telephone to the
equatorial hereafter as Il dismal failure and
base imposition on Il coniiding public.
Most people seem to think that because
they may be talking at IL distance they must
shout to render their tones inteli9ibe
When talking through the telephone. the
conversation should be carried on in the
ordinary tone voice. Not only this, but the
person speaking shonld not stand less than
three and not more than eight inches from
the transmitter. When one covers up the
transmitter and bellows into the opening
like a mad bull, the words at the point where
they are received are simply mass of
sounds with no meaning TO speak too
low would be an error, but it is one of which
no one is guilty. Another thing. peo-
pie appear to be in a great hurry when talk
ing into Il telephone The words run out as
though issuing from talking machine. the
crank Of which is turned by a mcnial whose
pay depends on the number of revolutions
The way to speak into telephone is to talk
deliberately, but not slowly to an unneces-
sary degree, and to articulate clearly every
word. 1t is Just as easy to employ good,
plain English, which everybody can use. as
1t Is to adopt mannerisms and infections in
speech. The telephone mnst be adjusted to
to the voice. AS voices pitched at all KEYS
arc poured into the transmitter, the only
thing that can be done in ordinary cases is
to cndeavor to strike happy medium.
People arc very impatient at the telc-
phone, and if they are kept waiting three
minutes they will say that it is half an hour.
y person thinks nothing ofwaiting in bus
mess house, the operators say, for Is or 20
minutes. but if kept at the telephone five
minutes, they will declare that the thing is
ofno earthly use. They do not stop to think
that the people who are called up do not al
ways respond instantly, orthat brief delay
is not il tthe Of the time that would be tax
en- up in going to the place When Mr..
Brewster Baldhead goes to the telephone he
will brook no delay. He savagcly turns the
crank which rings the bell or drops the
annunciator i'll the central office and de-
mands: Connect me with Mr. Rodelicll
Rednose." He waits 16 seconds, and in
blood curdling tones cries. Hello - The
operator. in fear and trembling. replies
"Mr. Rcdnose does not respond" Mr. Bald
hp, IL, Fl Il 4
I'D like to know what blarsted good the
thing is. You can't get anybody when you
want to. I'll have the blamed thing taken
OUT
Many people are deaf in one ear or hard
of bearing in both, but either do not know
it or are averse to admitting it, a pompous
old gentleman, who prided himself on his
vigor and preservation, complained that he
could not hear through his telephone. The
young man who went to correct the defects
found it working all right ''Aren't you
little hard of hearing?' asked the young
man. The suggestion threw the old gentle
man into towering rage. The young man
saw that tact was necessary, so he worked
around the telephone for half an hour, but
changed nothing. The old gentleman tried
it at the end Of that time and expressed his
satisfaction at the manner III which it work
cd. Now, young man" said he, frigidly
Il trust you are satisfied that the defect
was in the instrument and not due to auric-
ular obtuseness on my part" \ telephone
company usually finds work for half doz-
en- men or more running around trying to
ascertain why people cannot be made to re-
spond to calls. The telephone companies
short time ago adopted n rule to test all the
wires in the morning. Consequently the
first thing the operators jingle the bells of
the subscribers TO see if the instruments are
in working order. BY this means it is
hoped to discover any irregularities Or de-
fccts and to prevent subscribers from suffer-
ing inconvcniencics. Not all subscribers
take the test in the spirit in which it is
made. Hello came back the grutl' reply
to the call the other day of young lady
operator. Said she: 'This is our daily test.n
"You are my daily pest" was the reply of
the man at the other end ''get out of that
There are some peculiarities about the tele-
phone service that do not come under the
ordinary observation. The letter 49, when
sent over the wires sounds like IF" An
inquiry came from the upper part of the
CITY to one exchange down town asking if
it had subscriber named Fever. No such
name could be found on the list. BY ac-
cident the manager discovered that the
name was Sever. He paid close attention
to the sound OF the letter 49, afterward,
and was surprised to find that it invariably
came over the wires "F.n In figures, p can
rarely be told from 81 Ofthe people who
use the telephone the stammering man is
the most agoniZing to the operator or the
person with whom he talks. His words
sound as if some one had him by the throat
and was choking the breath out of him. The
syllables come by fits and starts, and as the
distorted face of the speaker cannot be seen
the mind cannot take the meaning from the
unl nitarts WhnI, tLn