Daily Republican., 1882-03-22

Sun rises 6.V.

Sun rises o.W. Sun sets olA.
For cut flowers, 90 TO 900 King street.
Parker, cupping and leeching, los e. Sc,
0nd street.
| ALL srOvRs SOLD BY II. +. PICKRIs AR
WARRANTED.
Smoke the Bat smoke the Bat, buy it q
Mullins, s26 West Front street.
II . small boy is called .'lad," is 1t prop.
to call bigger boy a "lAdder'"
Fine N K. Plain Gold Kings, at L.
Hsnf SIS East Fourth street.
Talk Of there being no feminine cannibals
lhlnk OF the poet laureate tI.aura atel.
Gardner, corner Seventh and ShIpley sts,
sells the best 25 cent oysters In the city.
Typographical orror: The air was ron
with the sh0ats OF throe thousand people:
Get your Photographs 1T Hollands CALLER,
No. Third stFa~' 'Wo doors East Of Marx ct
tino card photographs for 81, stHoIland'
gallery, No. Third street., between MI arke
and King.
Whether the stone hits the pitcher or tn
pitcher hits he stone, 1t is always bad 70
tho pitcher.
"AlcOhol will clean silver" Yes, alcohol
well stucx TO w.ll clean out all the silver yol
have got.
The desire to get somewhere in no weatbe
is only equaled by the anxiety to get back
again.
lfyeu want first class parlor suit made
to order for low price, 70 TO W. W. Wood
wards Sixth and Tatnall streets.
NEW LIGHT HOUSE, Cook, FARMER GIRL
Harmony Stoves, with or without reservoir al
h. +. Pickels, and East Fourth street.
For bargains In furniture aud bedding, &c
to l.. !. Adair's, 2O7 Market street and set
his goods and learn his prices.
Every cloud has its silver lining. The boy
WAC mas the mumps can stay away from
school.
OLD STOVES BOUGHT OR TAKEN IN TX
CHANGE AT II. +. Pickels, Z and . E. Fourth
street.
A soldier was so injured by the burst ing OF
shell that he actu.lly took quarters In diff
ferent parts OF the town.
There, that explains where my clothes
line went to ~ exclaimed an Iowa woman az
she found her husband hanging In the stable
Every man is fond Of striking the natl on
the head but when 1t happens to be the II In
ger Dali, his enthusiasm becomes wild aud
incoherent.
"Will you tell NO." asked an old gentle.
name was?" "Why, her maiden aim was to
get married, Ofcourse,' exclaimed the lady.
A hardy seaman who had escaped ono Of
the recent shipwrecks on our Goa st was asked
by good lady how he felt when the waves
br0ke0 or MIN. He replied, "Wet, ma'am ;
very wet"
inc gentleman who "nred at random, "
did not hit; and In disgust he lent his rifle
TO the youth who determined to aim at i'm.
mortality"
A true picture Of despair Is q pig reach Ing
through hole In the feLce to get head Of
cabbage that II B u few inches beyond his
reach.
bRvoRH BUYING EXAMINE THE STOCK OF
stoves Heaters and ranges Of II. +. Pickels,
and East Fourth street.. Largest assort.
ment In the city.
A Milwaukee farmer cut open and old hor.
net s nest Just to examine the inside arrange.
ments. He says he thinks he will be able to
soc his barn In about three weeks.
An Irishman received a challenge to tlxht
dual but destined. On being asked the
reason: "Och." said Pat. would you have
me lave my mother an orphan"
The Earl h Wilson collars and cuffs are the
finest In the market An immense aasoru.
ment ut Il. 5. Humphrey Bro. S, 1902 Mar
Ket street, the one price hatters
A railway man accused OF drinking beer
while on duty, calmly assured the superin-
tendent that he was the victim Of coor-blind-
ness and supposed he was drinking water.
lfyou grasp rat lssnake firmly about the
neck he cannot hurt you, says a cotemporary
paper. To be perfectly safe, would be well
10 let some one else do the grasping.
1t is said that at learning to swim women
are quicker than men. This is probably be.
cause the custom of wearing trains has learn.
ed them to kick out gracefully
An old sailor was observ ell to be always
hanging about the door Of church when o
marriage was taking place, He explained
tnat he liked to scc tho tide going ont.
HARVEST hoMs, VIcroR COOK, Apollo
OthellO New Mayfowor, New Record, New
Ruby, Reliance and New Sunsh Inc
Ranges, ut Ii. 4. Pickels, and East Fourth
street.
''lsn't that q beautiful coor?" said the
fsh-deaIer, as he cut into large salmon.
Yes" said Flotsam. ~ suppose he is
blushing at the extravagant price he is get
ting tor himself"
The Queen of England has deliberatly
omitted to invite the Queen of Holland to be
present at the wedding Of the Duke OF AL.
bany, and it is leaking out that good many
of US will get left ln the same manner.
Upon hearing that two rngilsh dramatists
had adopted French play for a Londc n
theatre, Dou1las Jerrold Is reported to have
said; Does it require two English authors
to poach one French egg"
A gentleman in England, who has made a
rock work planted with ferns In front OF his
house, has pasted up the following notice
and found 1t efficient: "Heggars beware !;
Scolopendriuns and Polypoliums arc set
here"
A gentleman who took % medicine late in
life said TO friend, "You know the Old pro-
verb-at forty man must be fool or ply
sician?" "Yes," was the reply "but, doc
tor, DON'T you think he can be both ?"
A German shoemase or, having made pair
Of boots for a gentleman Of whose tina ncial
integrity he had considerable doubt, mae
the following reply to him when he called for
the articles 'Lsr poots ish not quite done,
but der bill ish made OUT
FItz has been bunting up the pedigree of
DIR. Tanner, the celebrated ungry man, and
finds he Is OF very ancient lineage. The for
ty third verse of chapter mne, Acts of the
Apostles, reads: And It came to pa that
he tarried many days with one Simon A.
Tanner"
The Little Rock papers mitigate the crime
OF a man who cOmmi.ted suicide there last
week by saying it was his first offence. Very
likely he mad not been in the State, or he
would have made the attempt sooner
A Western advertisement 40 rent-a
house on Melville avenue, located immedi-
ately alongside q nne plum garden. from
which an abundant supply Of the most del-
cious fruit may be stolen during the seascn
Kent low, and the greater part taken in
plums."
This is the style in which critic at the
Antipode concludes, an article upon the per
formance of a genie who describes him
self as the "uri insl faki- of Aymeer ~ "rO
our dowL-county frie Ids who are ioGd of the
cOn)uring business we can recommend 'rOf.
Wyman' entt rtainmen a.-d to follow press
men, suffice 1t to say that the boss comes
right DOWN to ths office and settles his bill
10 right-good-n manner"
A gentleman who cOnsid red himself
GRE ok shot with rife ''at Il mark took a
deer forest last autumn The first days stalg-
ing seemed to him n "day bcwitcned, " tYr he
miFsed every chance, and several Of them
were good ones. ~ea asked the ad-keeper
II he could account for his miss na so often.
| Ike true scot, the keeper replied by ask.
ing another question "Are your rifle and
en- tridpes pudp pr uYes anita ynO - W. est