Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-10-02
IMPROVEMENT ON BED STATS.

IMPROTEMENT ON BED STATS.
A description of the new apartment
house in New York says that the bed
steads are stationary, and that the stats
OF the beds are steam pipes, instead Of
wood, SO that there is a constant warmth
kept up all the time. This may be all
right in New York, but out West here
the people want bed Stats, regular old
fashioned bed Stats, little too short, so
they will fall down occasionally and let
the mattress on the floor. A house where
the midnight clatter of the falling bed
slat is never heard, and where the white
robed head of the family is not seen
raising up the mattress with one hand
and feeling under the bed for bed slat
with the other, is a mournful sight.
There is something singular about the
fall of the bed slat. Statistics show that
the bed slat always falls when the man
OF the house Is sound asleep and the
woman of the house is sound awake.
The first indication the man has that
there is fall in lumber is the scream of
murder that comes from the sleeping
partner of the firm, and when the man
wakes, and finds that his head and
feet are high enough, and that his
body is closed up like foot rule, and
gently resting on the floor, he knows in
stinctively that there are no burglars IN
the house, but he cannot convince the
screamer that such is the case, even
after the Stat is put in its place, until he
goes down stairs and looks the house all
over. What connection there is sup
posed to be between the fall of the bed
slat and the superstition that a burglar
has got into the house, is more than
anybody could ever tell. Reason would
dictate that loosening q bed slat 90 it
would fall down and break the hinge of
q mans back would be the last thing
on earth that burglar would do i he
got into house, but in such cases the
poor man has got to convince his audi
ence that burglars are not present, or
there twill be no sleep till morn. Z,
Another thing that has struck fercibly
the scientists who have investigated the
fall of the bed Stat is that, while the
female sharer in the catastrophe was
wide awake at the moment Of the
fall, and for hours before, when the
slat is put back, and the man goes
on his Arctic exploration for the al.
legged burglar, the woman goes to sleep
before he gets back, and, as he stubs
himself back into the room with chills
and profanity, he is greeted with snore
that is not reassuring. Such excitement
has become so productive of sleep to the
eyes Of the female screamer that we are
told many men who have nervous wives
arrange the bed Stats so they will fall at
any time when sleep fails to come, and
many are thus put to sleep by the fall Of
the bed slat, when opiates have lost all
|power over the patient. This probably
illustrates the force of habit as well as
anything that could occur. With the
new stationary bedstead, with steam
pipes, we look for nothing but misfort.
une. The beds will be either too warm
or too cold, and the cracking noise tina.
always comes from steam-pipes in the
night will cause sleepers to jump up and
yell for the police. Beside, suppose 9
steam-pipe under bed should explode.
One cannot think Of the result without 9
shudder. We predict that those who
adopt the beds run by steam viii speed.
lily return to the time-honored and use
full bed slat. Steam is all right in it,
place, and it does many wonderful things
such as Matching chickens. and running
locomotives, but we do not believe it caz
ever be utilized Is . sleeping utensil +
advantaga-Peck's Sun. -aseee -,