The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1882-05-18
OSHKOSH SHIRT ORCHARD.

Oshkosh has had visit from humorous book
agent, one who took an entirely new course in
getting his book before the people. Instead of
going to house, and commencing by showing
the pictures of the book, the binding, and so
forth, he would engage the woman of the house
in pleasant conversation, and make jokes, relate
stories, and repeat puns, until she was so en-
chanted, that she would buy book almost
every time. He got several orders for his book,
and was on the high road to prosperity, until
Monday, when he came away on a gravel
train as far as the first station, and walked the
rest of the way to Fond du Lac, where he had
his broken arm set, put raw beef on his black
eyes, and is growing some new hair. 1t was
washing day, and quite muddy, and as he went
to the gate of residence, he noticed that the
clothes line had fallen down, aud the woman
had hing the clothes on the trees in the orch
ard. The agent thought that would be a good
subject for humorous remarks, and when the la
dy came into the room, with her sleeves rolled
up, her hands puckered up from the sOap-suds
her apron wet, and her temper red-hot. the agent
smiled, and said:
.'Ah! Madam, notice your shirt orchard is
bearing well, this spring. Trees seem to be
loaded" Andthen he laughed pleasantly. She
Just looked at him, but didn't say a word.
"The shirt is the most profitable fruit we can
raise, in this climate said he, looking out the
window at an apple tree on which were several
wet shirts, Tapping in the wind; ''but they
should be grated with the pillow-case, or the
towel, to appear at their best !" and he smiled
a beautiful smile, and opened his canvassing
book.
''Sirw said the lady, as she wiped some suds
off her nose with the under side of her apron,
"what is your business with mer
Presently, madam, presently" said the
agent, as he pointed to pear tree, and restrain
ed himself with an effort from laughing right
out at his humOr. sit shows intelligent Guilt
walton TO produce such results in this clay soil.
Why should we keep sheep, when we can raise
wooden stockings on a pear treef What is the
use of repinng, when red flannel petticoats can
be rails"
Look a-here, mister" said the lady, who
was getting tired as she folded up a pair of
clothes-bars, and took hold of them with both
hands. Il have heard almost enough of this
zephyr"
Zone moment, madam" said the agent, smil-
ing. 'The skirts on the cherry tree speak to
me of the millennium. The cOrsets on the lilac
bush tell me that there is to be good here. The
children's drawers that bud on the gosseberry
bush will grow, in the warm sunshine, to be
large enough for grown person /; and see the
tall stockings on the crab apple tree, with holes
in the heels, kicking at pink sun-bonnet on
the limb above, and WONDER
At this point, the lady recovered from her as
constituent, aud in couple of minutes the agent
came out the front door, and struck head first
on the gravel walk on his nose; one coat tail
was pulled off, and the man got into the street
and rau toward the depot, while the woman
went into the kitchen, saying she could run that
shirt orchard without any help from book
agents. At Fond du Lac, the agent said he fell
off the train and struck an ice house. 1t is safe
to say the humorous book agent has canvassed
Oshkosh as much as he will, this season.-PecEs
San.