Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-08-02
rHE cROss.EYED exRE.

"You don't want to never tamper with
cross-eyed girl" said Mr.. Philippe,
"and III tell you why: They've natur-
ally got better focus on things than
man would ever guess-studyin' their
eyes, You understand. A man may
think he's foolin' a cross-eyed girl
simply because she's got her eyes tan
gled on other topics as he's talkin' to
her, but at the same time that girl may
be lookin' down the windin' stairway
OF the cellar Of his soul with one eye,
and winkin' in whisper to her own
soul with the other, and her uncon-
scious victim just takin' it for granted
that nothin's the matter with the girl,
only just cross-eyed! You zee I've
studied 'ens" continued 1fillppe, "snd
I'm onto one fact, dead sure-and that
is, their natures is as deceivin' rs their
eyes Knowed cne onc't that had her
eyes mixed up that way-sensitive little
thing she was, and always referrin' to
her misfortune as she called it, and
eternally threatenin' to have some sur
geon straighten 'em out like other folks
and, sir, that girl 80 worked on my
feelin's and took such underhoIts on my
sympathies that, blame me, before I
knowed it confessed to her that if it
hadnta been for her defective eyes q
made it 'defective) I never would have
thought of lovin' her, and, furthermore,
If ever she did have 'em changed back
normal, don't you understand, she
might consider our engagement at an
end-I did, honest-and that girl was so
absolute cross.eyed it warped her ears,
and she used to amuse herself by watch
in 'em curl up as I'd be a-talkin' to
her, and that maddened me, cause
I'm naturally Of a jealous DISPOSE
ton. you know. and 80. ut last, I
JUST casuaiiy nlnted that if she was
really asoin' to get them eyes carpen-
tered up why she'd better get at it, and
that ended it, And then the blamed
girl turned right around and married a
fellow that had a better pair of eyes than
mine this minute Then I struck an
other cross eyed girl-not really legiti-
mate case, cause in reality she had only
one off eye--the right eye, If I don't dis
remember, the other one was square as
gauge. Aud that girl was, if any diff
ference, q more confusin' case than the
other; and, besides all that, she had
some money in her own right, and she
want atLrowin' of no big discount on
one game eye. But I finally got her in
tlrestel, and / reckon somcthin' serious
might a come of it, but, you see, her
father was dead, and her stepmother
sort O. shut down on my comm to the
house besides that she had three grown
uncles, and you know how uncles is.
l didn't want to marry no family, of
course, and so I slid out of the scheme
and tackled good girl that clerked in a
postoflice. Her eyes was bad. I never
did get the hang Of them eyes of hern.
She had purity hair, and a complexion,
used to tell her, which outrivaled the
rose. But them eyes, you know! l
didn't really appreciate how bad they
was crossed at first. You see, it took
time. Got her to give me her picture.
and I used to cipher on that, but finally
worked her off on a young friend of
mine who wanted to marry intellect
gave her good send-off to him-and
she was smart-only them eyes, you
know! Why, that girl could read a
postal card both sides at once, and smile
at personal friend through the Office
window at the same time. ."-IadianaD-
oils Journal.