The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1882-05-11
Fun ON 4 TRAIN.
Adrk 7srain Tells of fits 1yavcling EDpert.

lAdrF 1ardtn Tells 0T Hts Travelling EDpott-
ence.
got rlto the cars and took a seat in
luxtaiie iti0a to 8 +, male. That females
face wasa perfect insurance company
1t insured her against ever getting mar
rled to anybody but blind man. Hel
mouth looked like crack in a dried
lemon, ard there was nomore expression
IN her face than th>r> is in cup OF cold
ctlstard. She appeared as though she
had been through cne famine and had
got about two thirds through another.
She was old enough to be great-grand.
mother to Mary that had the little lamb.
She was chewing prize popcorn, and
carried a yellow rose with q band-boz
and cotton umbrella nestled sweetly by
her side. 1 couldn't guess whether she
was mission of charity, or going West
to start q saw mill. l was full OF curl.
osity to hear her speak, SO said:
81 n .@he exigencles of The times require
great circumspectlon in person who is
travelling" ... .....
Says she, "What?" ..
Says I, "The orb of day shines re-
splendent in the vault above"
She hitched around uneasy like, then
she raised her umbrella and said, 81
don't want any Of your sass-get out, u
and got out.
Then 1 took seat alongside of male
fellow, who looked like ghost of Ham,
let heightened out. He was stately
looking cr,ss, and he was reading.
Said /, Mister, did you ever see q
camelopard ?" I said camelopard be-
cause it is apious animal, and never eats
grass without getting down on his knees.
He said he hadn't seen camelopard,
Then said L:
"Do you chew?"
He said, "No, sir"
Then 1 said, Chow S, 81 :; nature!
He took this for conul drum and said
he didn't know. Then he said he was
deeply interestedin the history Of great
man. "Alas |" he exclaimed, "we are
but few |" ....
I told him I knew one, "the man
that made my cooking stove was great
man,"
Then he asked, " Would I read?"
Says I, "What have You got ?"
He replied: "Watts' Hymns, Reveries
by Moonlight, and How to Spend the
Sabbath"
I said, "None of them for Hannah,
but if he had an unabridged business
directory of New York city would take
a little read ="
Then he said: "Young man, look at
these gray hairs"
/ told him / saw them, and that when
q man got to be rs old as he was he
ought to die. Said /, "You needn't
think those grey hairs are any signs of
wisdom it is only sign that your sys-
tenn lacks iron, and I advise you to go
and swallow q crow-bar."
" He took this for irony, and what little
entente cordiale there was between us was
spoiled. 1t turnel out that he was a
chaplain of a baseball club.
When We got to Rochester called for
bowl OF soup. / send you the recipe
for making it. Take lot of water, wash
it well, aud boil it until it is brown on
both sides; then carefully pour one
bean into it and let it simmer. When
the bean begins to get restless sweeten
it with salt; then put it up in air-tight
cans, hitch each can to brick and
chuck them overheard, and the soup is
done.
The above recipe originated with a
man in Iowa, who got up suppers on
odd occasions for Odd Fellows. He had
a recipe for oyster soup, leaving out the
salt.
Speaking of Iowa reminds me of the
way I got my money to pay for my ticket
and that fellows supper. I bet a fellow
a dollar that I could tell him how much
water to quart went under the railroad
bridge over the Mississippi at Dubuque
in year. 1 won the bet, but, after all,
the supper was an awful swindle.
Dubuque is celebrated for its fine
turnouts on the streets while I was
there wagon upset and spilled lot Of
women. I didn't see it. L looked the