The Portland daily press., 1882-06-19
Wit and Wisdom.

On the question of the next potato crop the
eyes have it.-Lowell Courier. On the ques-
ton of the onion crop the nose will have IT.
Boston Advertiser.
No lady or gentleman need suffer long with
eczema, letter, ring-worm, or any pimply
rough dry scaly skin disease for Dr. Q. w.
Benson's Skin Cure is perfect and reliable
remedy for all skin diseases. Sold by all drug
gists at 81 per package.
When man or pin loses its head, the man
or pin cannot be pushed with safety; and if he
or it enters into thing the chances are ten to
one that the man or the pin goes too far.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
There is no bitters in the market which will
do 50 many people good without the risk OF
doing anybody harm as Wheat Bitters.
Judge Tourgee says the live man is always
to be found in front. In funeral professions,
down here in Texas, we have noticed that the
remains were in front, and the live men came
struggling along behind.-Texas Siftings.
More universally recommended than any
proprietary medicine made. A sure and re-
liable tonic, Browns Iron Bitters.
Scene Recitation room. Professor Ito stu
dent who is taking it easy): 'Don't you think
it would be better if you were to bring bed
with you next time?" Student (under his
BREATH: "l wonder whether crib wouldn't
be better. columbia Spectator.
*Thousands of ladies cherish grateful re-
membranes of the help derived from the use
Of Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Buffalo Bill has brought suit to recover 49,
100000 worth of property in Cleveland, and
some one expresses the hope that in case he is
successful, he will put aside twenty cents of it
and get his hair cut. 1t is not likely, however,
that he will part with three -fourths of his dra-
matte talent unless he intends to retire from
the stage.-Norristown Herald.
LADIES are comforted by corresponding with
the lady proprietor of Healy's Tonic Pills and
Cordial. See adver tisement on this page.
CEPHALNE, taken cold, is an unequalled
Tonic for Spring.
u OellAOAAlS DOslQ Va ouUOnbloA i4tto OnOl0u
a prize of $40 to the girl who appears in the
cheapest dress on commencement day. Proba-
bly, the prize money win be spent for Clothes
Buffalo Courier.
No cheap mixture to impose on credulous
humanity is Wheat Bitters, it is most potent
tonic and recuperant. Try it and be convinced.
1t was French woman who exclaimed,
holding up glass of sparkling fresh water:
"Ahl if it were only wicked to drink this, how
nice it would taste!" An American woman
would have kept the thought to herself.-Bos-
ton Post.
Save the health OF your wife by buying a
Domestic" at II Elm street.
That Iowa man who believes there will be
another flood in 1885, and who sold his farm
for lumber to build an ark, has been Gagged as a
lunatic. Free thought is only for the rich.-
Detroit Free Press.
than formerly. Reason-Glenn's Sulphur
Soap.
"HLL's Hair and Whisker Dye" 30 cts.
There is class of people who vulgarly abuse
ticket sellers on railways because the mama
gers Of the road do not properly conduct it,
Nine times out of ten the ticket agent is prob
ably to blame for the management OF the
he was a wall-eyed old iackass, the latter
would feel ashamed and correct the abuse. =
Boston Post.
Aftert Eight Long Years.
G. G. Jacobs, 78 Folsom street, Buffalo,
writes that for eight long years he had tried
every known remedy to cure him of piles, also
had been treated by physicians without sue
cess, when he was ultimately cured by THOMAS
EcLEcrRIC OH.
John "a neighbor): "They tell me Jess that
yer cousin Wullie's ava to the mad-house. -
Jess "Deed it's owre true. TWAS wi study
John: sob, wos he comm cot for minis
tsr?'' Jess ooh no, but he wrought ON an
made poetry, and the ends wadna come RIGHT,
an that put aim wrang."
Horsford's Acid Phosphate in Seasick-
ness.
S. S. PARKER, Wellington, o., says:
While crossing Lake Erie, I gave it to some
fellow-p passengers who were saasick, and it
gave immediate relief"
Two friends, after dinner, over their cigars,
discourse of life: "Growing old is bore, old
fellow; ones powers must fall off, you know"
''Not q bit; look at Thompson now" "Well?'
"Why, at college he was awfully stupid, but
he's past fifty, and still he grows stupider
every day.
No DIsAPPoMTMENT.-Wigg Pellets
have an inherent power to cure Dyspepsia,
Constipation, Piles, Sick or Nervous Headache,
and all diseases Of the Stomach, Bowels and
Liver. Meier surpassed in the history OF medl
cine. Sufferers, try them, and ye will suffer
no more. Fifty cents a bottle at druggists.
Sent by mail on receipt of price.
Miss Sawyer's salve, as aaoa0 prepared, beat
the world. Twenty-Five cents a box. Sent by
mail.
W1Ge1N & Co., Proprietors, Rockland, Me.
First boy; 'sMy fathers got million dol
lars Second boy: "Well, s'pose he has lie
made it in little store and nobody ever heard
Of him or ever will Now, my fathers known
everywhere. He's been called thief and a
BLACKBOARD in almost every paper in the coun-
try. He was once up for office. "-Phlladel-
phia News.
A Portland family directory would have to
be published to give full list of families using
the Congress Yeast Powder. 1t has been on the
market for nearly 40 years and its large sale is
I