The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-08-06
WIT AND HUMOR,

An honest man is the noblest pursuit
OF woman.
One pound notes were first issued in
1897
1t takes a girl about four hours long
err TO wash the front windows Of
house than the back windows.
Has it ever occurred to baseball men
that milk pitcher is generally a good
fly catcher.
1t is said that nearly all the male
members Of the Imperial family Of Cor
many are well trained artisans
IL called twice and found Won out"
said Mrs Jones VERY good sad
Mrs. Smith. II had to call but once TO
find you out"
When friend asked q reformed inc
brlale the cause Of reformation he said:
rs You are married you viii quite un-
derstand it when | say getting tipsy
made me see my mother-in-law double. s.
Full many an ache of soreness deep
and keen, the walking Of a nights ca
rousal bear; full manya man, who with
"the boys hath been, feels in the morn
his wife's hand in his hair
In an exchange Summer hotel adj
vertises suitable grounds for archery"
and directly beneath it is the advertise
ment of dealer in glass eyes Moth
lng Ike having information handy
The late freak among fashionable
New York girls is to patronze fortune
ttellerS' They've got rather tired of the
kind OF lies the young men tell them,
and desire a change.
Ike has an irritating skin disease"
Mrs. Darlington says. charlotte russee
broke out all over him. and il he hadn't
wore lnjun beads as an omelet it would
doubtless have eliminated fatally"
An Englishman is said to be eilecting
cures in Australia by breathing on peo-
pie. This may be true, for we have en-
countered people whose breath was GER
tainly strong enough to kill man. if it
struck him twice in the same place
Dannie was very much interested in a
picture of some white whales. One dav.
seeing his father coming from market
with large fish, he ran into the house,
eXclaiming, Mamma, mamma. papa's
been and found a baby whaler
The American Tract Society has dis
pensed S6,3li. 1863 pages of literature the
past year. and there wasn't scalping
Indian story Of the West in the entire
lot, This accounts for the unpopulari-
~ of the society's publications.
II never thought but once said
Deacon Webbing "that it was sin to |
steal an umbrella" "And when was
that?N asked n friend. 1T was when |
some pesky thief stole my now silk |
one answered the deacon.
just to think that Ralph Waldo En-
crson never dyed his mouslache, never
twirled ten-cent came, nor smoked
cigarettes. And yet lot of old foeies
have the assurance to ask our Young |
men to look up to him rs Il model
This is Neptune said the profess
sor, his fingers on the outside ball of |
the system, "and we are two thousand,
seven hundred and fifty miles from the
sun" Rheumatic student on the back |
seat turns up his collar and shivcrs
pcrceptibly.
A tobacco hater says, 1.-TWO cigars
day will supply family with Hour"
Fogg says he buys half-a.dozen cigars
some days, but he doesn't find it any
easier to supply the family with flour,
,or all that. He thinks there must be
,aistake somewhere.
Count 60 his servanD john. have
toticed that ever since your wife's death
You have come home drunk every even
iag. Why is thsp John i am only irving
Ia console myself for my loss Count
and how long is this going to lastp
John 10, sir, am inconsolablc.
lis my face dirtyP" asked young
nay OF her aunt, while at dinner at
Hartford hotel, the other day. DIRTY!
NO Why do you askP' because that
insulting waiter insists upon putting
tewel beside my plato, I've thrown
three under the table, and vet every he
comes round no puts another one before
me-" =.