The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1882-11-18
Passagesfromt the Jour
nal of a Social
Wreck.
Harper's Magazine.

TWO palnIul IhCtS sIfiuS hio pi""niy 'A "
face. am reduced almost literallyt to my las
cent and have no prospect Of increasing thii
sum For tho frs. time in my life 1 may ~
we'll examine the situation impartially It'll
not my fault that it is physical impossibility
for N, to get up carly in tho morning, AND
therefore that never have stad in any Office
more than two or three weeks at the longest
Il is constitutional Ican't write good hand,
on keep books correctly, for the same reason.
Mathematics were left out OF my composition.
Unjust smoke, and it is impossible for mo To
smoke a poor cigars. II am in debt for
cigars, as we'll ~ other necessities, how can
helpitg Iwou!d willingly work if conld only
find the kind of work that would suit me.
am not fool There is not man III New
York who speaks French with better accent
than do can sing better than most anna
tours There is no vanity in saying that peo-
ple consider me good-looking / don't find ii
difficult to please when make an edort, and
,et /, am complete failure 1t Is not
my fault Tn round peg in square
hole. / ought to have been the Oldest son
OF duke, with a large allowance. Instead, l
am helpless orphan, with nothing year. l
seem to joke; in reality am in despair. For
tunately my landlady trusts me blindly, or
would be turned into tho street
have sold or pawncd all my valuables, l
might pawn my dress suit and studs, but if
did, couldn't 80 out to dinner II were
akel, and that Id always i saving. can not
get place in an opera company, because
my voice has not been sufficiently trained
There always il something to prevent my sue
cess no matter what ] try.
To-day met Morton in the street He
stopped me and said: Blythe way Valentine,
your name will come up at the Amsterdam very
5oon. You arc sure TO get in.
Imagine paying club dues in my present CON
dilon! Yet to belong 70 the Amsterdam has
osen one Of my ambitions ! had to get out
VI it, and said in an orf-hand way; "Ah,
thanks, Morton. but you may as well take
my name off the list I'm thinking OF living
out OF town"
50 / AMI think Of occupying six feet of
real estate in the country, II something
doesn't happen soon. Morton always ir-
ritatos me- He is one Of those prosperous,
fortunate creatures, always 80 completely
tho thing, that feel hopelessIy riy own de-
tiGlenciGs.
January l5-Something has happened. l
have an idea II strikes nue. as strange, yet
feasible When I came in this afternoon |
,vun. g. ,c,,yr lying o.. ~ ...b.e. opened III,
il ran IA follows
NEW YORK, Jan. II, 1885,. Families who
are about to give receptions, dinner parties, or
other ertsinments will be gratii!ed to know
that persons who will assist in making these
events pleasant and enjoyable can be obtained
through the medium of the Globe Employment
bureau. These persons will not be profess
sionals but parties OF culture and Refinement
who will aDpear well dress elegantly, and
mngle with the guests, While able and willing
u play, sing, converse lluontly, tell u good
story, give recitation or anything that will
help TO make IN evening pass pleasantly.
The Globe Employment bureau in this
Plan simply complies with the increasing
demands Of large class OF ia patrons. The
attendance Of these persons, young or old, can
DO had for the sum OF fifteen dollars per even
ing each We will guarantee them to be
strictly honorable and reliable persons. Re-
spocuully yours,
@THE GLOBE EMPLOYMENT BUREAU"
The idea amused me. moralized on it M
= phase OF New York society; wondered what
sort of pcopie would employ these individu-
ats wondered what the individuals would feel
Like themselves; smiled grimly at the inference
l,At could 50 to tho expense of fifteen dollars
10 procure tho services of one OF these per-
sons While | stood with the letter in my
hand. thought flashed into my mind. II
widencd and developed, until now il possesses
my whole being. can't hire Globe young
man, but anything is better than staryation
viii be 0 Globe young man!
January 49, 1t is all settled, and | am in
tie service OF the New York Globe. After two
days OF hesitation, l presented myself this
morning at the Globe office. | was shown to
uie Employment bureau, and there through
little grating, was interviewed by young
clerk OF supernatural composuree He had a
cool discerning eye that seemed to read my
very soul, and take in my situation and err
rand at a glance. produced the Globe letter as
.he smplest method of Introducing myself
He looked at me with his discriminating OK
preston. sLet me see," ho murmured "We
have had three thousand applications since the
day before yesterday, and our list is complete
But six -blonde-good looking-distin-
yuishod, in fact"--he bit the handle Of his pen
neditatiyely His air OF reflection changed to
one Of decision. @Just follow me, please" he
eVnciuded
followed him through Q dim passage to q
little room whore there was piano with some
music on it. Standing beside the piano WAS a
small dark man. rubbing his hands and bow
uy politely as we entered. II reminded mo Of
one of tho torture chambers of the Inquisition
What were they going to do to me?
I1ic chief iDquisitor, in the shape OF the
clerk, began the ceremonies by saying: Il
suppose you would not have come here with
>mt being able to fill the requirements OF the
Globe circular. Be kind enough to sit down
aud sing aud play that song"
II pl0ged 10 DO 9In the Cleaning" was in
.;1od voice. and managed to sing il with some
sSrtcSsion
Bravo" said the second inquisitor, in the
,Sapc Of the little dark man
He hen took me in hand He proved TO be
an itaI.ln, and asked me questions in Italian
aud French. in both Of which languages | an
uwoiel well az | could was then obliged
IN sing pathetic songs, drinking songs comic
lsongs, opera boufle, English ballads, and then
l-uOrse than ali-requested to recite some
dramatic poetry Here was at sea. / con
te.sed that knew none.
Never mind, said the clerk, encouragingly;
you have done remarkably well in other re-
epects, and you can easily learn the regulation
pieces.
He handed me list, beginning with "Cur-
few shall not ring tonight" and "The Charge
Of the Light Brigade" and ended with SBetsey
and are Out" and sThe May Queen" ]
clicked down my rising resentment Wha
uouldn | do for fifteen dollars an evening,
1 abort OF crime.
Very WELL" said obediently
la1 nttt nf tha Il.