Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-02-10
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-AbO0Uy ETeSS.
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RUDE HoFFENsTEIN' IS TURKEY HUNT.
ibid you see dot man, Herman, vat
shust vent de sdore out?" said Hoffen-
stein.
Eyes. sir,''
.'Dot vas Moses Loeb, uf Vickspurg.-
He vas an old trent uf mine, uud We vas
dalking ofer dimes We hat togedder, und
how We vent out hunding Wild turkeys in
de voeds.''
s'Did you get many uf de turkeys, Mis-
der Hoffenstein?" inquired Herman, be-
coming interested.
mo, don't get no turkeys. but I got
someding else. My g-r-r.a-cious, Herman,
I meter go hunding no more"
"Vat vas de madden, Misder Hoffen-
stein?"
ssVell. I'll dell you aboud it. Won day
man vat vas selling vistles vat you call
turkeys NIT come my sdore in und wants
me to buy Won. He says if go away oud
in de woods und vistle nit dot vistle, all
de Wild turkeys will come unless some Won
die dem NIT chain. I drinks to myself
dot it you'd be good drick if l get WIS.,
tie, and 60 oud nit de poys, und, kill all de
turkeys ven dey don't can find none. l
got vistle, Herman. mid de nexd morn
ing before de nighd hadn't gone away ye.
De whole barty uf US vent to de yoOds oud.
Dere vas Moses Loeb, Levi Cohen, jacob
Heidingsfelder, und myself in de barty.-
Ven We got to de woods, Herman. 1 dells
dem We all had peter go different ways. If
We don't We SCARE de turkeys away. l says,
poys, ven you hear q durkey vistle, get on
your hands and knees down und crawl
we're he vas und you got him. Veil, de
poys vent one way und I vent anoder, und
all de dime it vas so dark IN de woods you
don't can see noding. Alder Walking avile
[ hears someding, und 1 dink, Herman, it
vas durkey. ! gifts on my hands unc
knees down und vistles nit de durkey Wis
tie. Eferyding vas shust so sdill you don't
hear noding. I grawls up we're dere vas
some bushes und vistles some more. Vile
l vas visiting, Levi Cohen hears it und
drinks he hat durkey, und greeps up
Ven I hat my head de bushes in. nit de
back bart uf myself sdicking Oud, Lew
Cohen grawls closer up. He vas near nit
his eye-sighd, urd he drinks de back bart
uf myself vas de vront uf a durkey. 1
vistles again. My g-r-r-acious. Herman,
de nexd minute vas shod almosd to pieces.
I dink I vas killed, und 1 SCREAMS und
yelIs. Levi Cohen vas SCARED as vas, und
he says: lube, Wy didn't you sdand nit
de back bart uf yourself de oder way, und
l would half recognized you head. Dalk
to me Rube, dell me you don'd vas dead.'
Veil, efery Won said it Vas a good shoke On
Levi Cohen, but we're vas de shoke2 Seek
weeks it vas, Herman, before sets myself
down chair ID, und ven [ sleeps it vas
standing up shust like mule.''
REPENTANCE AND RESTORATION
Saturday night, some sinner stole two
chickens from the coop of Rev. Aminida
Bledsoe, of the Galveston Colored Blue
Hight Tabernacle, and the next day the
reverend gentlemen preached most pow
erfui sermon against the sin Of stealing
chickens, and promising everlasting tor
naent to the man who stole his two Chick
ems. Early Monday morning, Jim Web
ster called at the parsons residence, with
a scared face and some poultry. He said:
tsParson Bledso, dat ar sermon most
scared me to def. couldn't sleep wink.
so L fetched yer chickens back.' 81 don't
keer for all the fOWles, Jeems, but nit
pleeses me nightly to know dat 1 am an
tumble instrument in de hands oh de AL
mighty to bring sinners to repentance and
to cause them to lead new life. But,
look heah, Jeems, desc chickens amt de
same ones yer stole from me-" IL knows
it. Your chickens am done eat up, but
yer sermon opened my eyes to de slnfulnt IS
OBJ steaIin' your chickens. and felt SO bad
about it dat de fust thing l did when
church was out was to climb ODER into
Colonel Jones' yard and cabbage two oh
his latest pullets to replace the chickens
you missed"
ssWbat nuisance!'' exclaimed gentle
man at concert. as young fop in front
of him kept talking, in loud voice. to
young lady at his side. ''Did you refer to
me. STRIP demanded the fop. 80, no!
mean the musicians, who keep up such
noise with their instruments that can't
hear vour conversation - was the singing
reply.
Jennie: 'tThe market is glu6Ged with
The-days-are-chill-an d-the-leaves-a re-fall-
ing class of poetry. Write something with
a warmth in something with oyster
stews, or mustard plasters, or apple tod
dies. something that will be suggestive OF
comfort in these cold autumn nights, and
we may publish it, but quit bothering
about the leaves. They are bound to fall
anyhow.
ssSam YOU are not honest. Why do you
put all the good peaches on the top Of the
measure and the little ones below?"-
A.same reason, sab, dat makes de front of
your house all marble and the back gate
chiefly slop-bar'l, sah.' -
II dote upon that girl" said Smith.
tssfhat makes about the twentieth girl you
frawe dotted on within month, :" remarked
Henderson. ssIt is about time you had
gown aal your wild dotes, Smith,"