Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1882-12-27
pOAiisG NIT,

Chambers Of agriculture lhreshiag
floors,
EDO you want fast eolOrsY guerisd
The dry goods clerk, "Np, indeed r
she answered, with blush "ChsTlie
doesn't like anything fast r.
When an Ohio man IL ia debt, hard
UP. sick and utterly discouraged, lao
doesn't commit suicide, lie goes 10 the
pOst-oiiee and gels letter informing
him that he has iallea holr 10 $4,000,
"Do you ,hi44. mamma, said little
one, THAT uaele Reuben will go to
heaven ~ think 10, my child. Why
do you aik'' "Oh. nothing much"
replied tho child, waking iIOm q short
reyeriei ~ WAS thinking what homely
angel he'd make, that's all
A young lady altar some six months
Of blissmlly happy welded life, inquired
eagerly Of y lady friend possessing ripe
experience how he should best retain
Tho affections Of her lord and master, 30
o. 10 insure . pfllongltion Of tho happy
state OF Rlflla Tho friends reply was.
"PeeO the brate1
IN plleoiiiua.e memory, A Partisan
visitor asks ofa young GIL who il about
70 marry Wll0wof "Now. my dear,
iil no make his first wife happyT
Did ho mako her llappJY' exclaimed
the girl, "Why, madam. she has the
hanlsomesl monument IN tho eeme'
teyT
"Ala," sail MpG jenny Wren. "whal
DO You think | heard todayY "i'm
aufe don. know" said Mrs, Wren,
"Well," continued jennie, ~ heard that
those Phippea glrla arc osthetie,"
Gracious gooinoasl" exclaimed ma,
"you don't say 500 Well don't You ever
speak to them again"
Miss Notchangor has just finished q
"dilllcnlt" piece OF music upon tho
pIlnolorlc, "ileautilul, isn't ity' 10,
marked u young lady, "Yea," replied
Smithkins, "Splcndcd exercise, Supe,
rior to Indian clubs or dumb'bella, but
rather cxhaustlpg TO beginner, |
should say"
"Gue y | won't go TO school to-day"
said q Carson urchin. "Concorda has
iallen OF ton por cent, and don't dare
IL show until 1t picks up again." "What
have tho fluctuations OF COneofdia got
to do with your studicsy' "a good
deal, answered the boy; tiny teacher
has u hundred shares OF tho stock, and
when II falls on iew cents wo all catch
II heavy"
At tho last meeting OF tho anti.vacina.
ton society tho proceedings were inter
ruptod by tho entrance OF ono OF tho
members who had been missing for
some time, His laco was freshly pitted
with smallpox, and ho began to explain
scientifically how he caught the disease,
when no suddenly found himself left
alone, The society had adjourned
through the windows.
"reach your daughter how TO cook,
cxclaims an exchange, That is all very
nice in theory, but experience has shown
that they win waste about $4,000 worth
OF provisions while learning, and then,
after mastering tho art, will get married,
and cook for some other fellow, leaving
you to wrestle with q new biddy. Bot
ter let the other fellow do tho teaching,
and bear the expense and dyspepsia,
A gentleman who week ago was
sound both mentally and physically, is
to-day raving maniac. IN an evil
moment he asked gas man to explain
to him the mysteries Of meter. The
strain upon his mental faculties WAS so
great that he became violently insane,
and now his constant idea and desire is
to pay his gas bills. He is thought to
be incurable.