The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1882-03-08
PLEASANTRIEs.

A philosopher says, "You can acquire in
marriage precisely the same quality that
you would IN eating sausage-absolute conf
dence."
A woman never inds so much satisfac-
ton in sermon as she does in grease
spot on the back Of the woman's dress in
front OF her.
Dear girls, whenever young man gets Sc
soft that he can be dipped up with spoon,
the best thing for you to do is to dip him up
and pour HIM out over the fence.
An editor wrote a personal about q
young man going to spark his girl When il
was printed he was horrlfedto see the letter
''n" for the ''r" in the word spark.
al want one of those long felt hats, papa,
said pretty girl to her father. The in
dulgent father forked over the money, and
her head now fills the long felt want.
Friend wisdom: When two women are
talking together it is safe to predict that they
are saying evil Of third; when two men,
that they are saying good of themselves.
Speak always well of women in general
with respect and admiration; but to women
in particular say that all other women are
either ugly or oquettes.-Alphonse Karr.
He was drunk, the brute, of course he
was, when he said: "Its most Internal
cold night Guess III go home where my
wife is and then III soon be hot enough"
Statistics show that women commit sui.
eide most frequently on Sunday. 1t is on
that day that the humiliation of having 70
wear last seasons bonnet is most keenly
felt.-Parson Newman.
Fair bride OF nineteen summers. "what
can they all see in her? I'm sure she's over
after that" Matron (age unknown): Nor
worth speaking to before, my dear"
A girl of twenty-five, residing in the
First Ward, v"ws she will never marry d
man with blue eyes, for the reason that she
does not want other women addressing her
husband abou. his azure orbs and cerulean
optics.
"How do you say pig in German ?''
asked an Englishman of an American, as
the vesssl neared Antwerp. "You needn't
say anything replied the American
you'll be recognized without explanation"
Philadelphia Sunday Item.
"Isn't the moon beautiful this EVENING""
said Alonzo as he snuggled his arm just as
close upon hers as he could. Eyes, but 1
know another moon that is perfectly ecstat
ic in its loneliness" "Do your What
moon is that ducky2" 'It's the honeymoon,
Alonzo. and don't you think it is about
time for us TO have one2" The cards are
out.-New Haven Register.
Husband" remarked woman to her
better half, who had come home late the
night before, after exbausting labors at his
account books, "who Is Bill Yardr You
mentioned his name several times in your
Sleep" And the husband answered, as he
brushed the cue chalk from his coat: "Why
-a-yesl Bill Ya-d-exactly-owes me an
account. Let's have breakfast, Mary"
There is clerk in an Austin store who
is wonderful mathematical genius. He
beats the world, and his customers, when
he comes to add up. A lady bought some
groceries a few days ago, and on asking
how much she owed, the clerk told her
rapidly: "You had two bits woi tn of starch,
and two bits worth of soap, which makes
four bits, and two bits worth of candles,
which makes six bits, and you didn't buy
any candy, which makes two bits more, go
you just owe dollar and quarter" The