The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-08-22
BOB vERNON's COURTsHIP.

"What are you laughing at 7" in
quired the other day of nv old friend
and associate, Ned Nixon, as entered
his room.
Its so funny" was all he could ar
ticulate for laughing.
Whats SO funny? p Intercepted,
somewhat puzzled at his abstracted
manner.
THAT affair" he replied. and then
"snOrted."
"What affair ?" / continued.
"Why. this" said he, pointing to a
paragraph in Charleston, S. c.,
newspaper.
Again he shrugged his shoulders
and chuckled.
Read it, Ned, and if it's so funny
I'll smile too" l said, taking aproffer
Ell seat.
well, then, listen"
Then taking the paper, he read:
GA SAD AFFAIR.-This morning
about sunrise the inanimate body of a
man was picked up by a couple of
sailors while floating ON the surface of
the harbor. he was brought ashore
and post mOrtem examination was
held by the coroner. As no marks
Of violence We're visible on his person
the unanimous conviction OF the jury
WAS that he came t. his death either
by being thrown i'm the water or throw
ing himself i'll.
IN. BIN overhauling the
clothes, small diary was found in his
pocket. from which We learn that his
name Was Robert Vernon"
There" CALCULATED he, throwing
down the paper carelessly, "you have
it,"
"Fm sure there's nothing laughable
about that was my response.
Very true; that paragraph don't
contain that which I'm laughing at;
but it is the circumstances that pro-
duced this tragic affair"
GAS you've excited my curiosity by
relating a part, please relate the
whole"
"Well, l will, although you, per-
haps, will say l was the cause of his
committing suicide. Be that as it
may-this is the story. During the
two months l stopped at Saratoga
springs last summer / became ac-
4uainted with Robert Vernon. "a young
gentleman from the state of Maine.
Bob was pretty good-Iooking fellow,
of very enthusiastic, excitable tenn
permanent, and awful green. He was
passionately fond of women, but when
in their society he was the greatest
blockhead / ever saw. One evening
he came to me and said:
Ned, who is that charming little
creature l saw you riding out With
this afternoon
Her name is Smalltree, from
Charleston, 5. c., replied"
What an awkward name; it ought
TO have been Smallangel, for she is
nearer that than a tree" he said ear
nestlv.
= Yes" said /, "she is a very pretty
woman, and would be jut the figure
for you"
Thunder" exclaimed he; chow
you talk"
Why" l asked.
Great Jerusha DO you think she'd
speak to NE p he arliculated, looking
as surprised as an arrested fugitive.
Speak to You? Ofcourse she would,
and step off with you il you only
manage the game right" / replied.
'-Jerusha !! l can't hardly swallow
that" said he; ''but. however, should
like 10 be pre'ented to her."
"Very well, Bob, I'll do that job
for you, and commend YOU favorably
10 her especial notice, too. if you'll"
BY Cesar, III do anything if you
will !" he exclaimed, emphatically, in
terrupting me.
Il won't ask anything for so small
favor as that" | remarked; "but if
you have mind to order half dozen
of champagne, why, I'll drink to your
health and prospects of southern
BRIDE"
Without saying word the wine
was ordered and soon set before us.
Nov, says he, as the second cork
"when shall / be bonored
with an introduction to this flower of
the south -
"As soon as you like. replied