Connecticut western news., 1882-12-20
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
CLIPPED FROM THE HUMOROUS
 PAPERS THIS WEEK.
On POttery-PRyinR a Bet-A Chapter on
 Tacks-Fables, etc.
THOUGHTS ABOUT POTTERY

The Ha,Ukeye philosopher says: Verify, the potter hath power over the clay. Therefore, the clay is the pot, but the man who makes it is the potter. E1go, protest. Refined and scholarly joke. This style six for dollar. For two dol lars an explanation of this superlative joke and the Ha,pkeye for one year will be sent to any part of the United States or Canada. Put that in your clear Havana cigar and smoke it.
 Pottery is the oldest industry in the world. Adam was made of clay. But he acted as though he was only half baked. His son Gain built the first kiln in the country.
 The potter works in the mud, hence we admire his work. His life is one long act of mudder, but he is never hanged for it, l though sometimes he is broken at the wheel.
 All his work, however good, goes to the fire. What he bakes you cannot eat, al though you eat what the other baker sets on it.
  and always belongs to a set. To several sets, in fact.
 He is independent and urns his own living
 He is base ball star, and makes bet ter pitcher than the "old Nolan."
 He is no deacon, but he passes the plate regularly. A rigid temperance man, he is fond of his bowl. And he always makes it go round, too.
 There never was but one blind potter, and he did not stay blind long, for he made cup and saw, sir.
 He is always hopeful, for it is in his nature to look cup.
 He is generous fellow, and what is his is ewers.
 He believes in human equality, and thinks the law should make claymen the equals of the clergy.
 "Who breaks, pays" must have been originated by the potter. Although in these perilous times, it is more likely to read, "who pays, breaks"
 A pottery is the place where they make pots, but not Jack pots, by long chalk.
 The potters make all things of clay, but this does not make clazay of them, by any means.
 This thing may seem to be running in to the ground. That's where it has to go, to get the raw material. DENVER TRIBUNE FABLES.
 A CHILD who had Mild type of the Measles invited 8 number of her Ac quaintances to Party. Producing iron the Pantry 8 Bowl of Sweetmeats, she said: Behold now an Act of Generosity I will Take the Sweetmeats, and you Unless you immediately Take your De- , parture, will Take the Measles.' This fable illustrates the ingenuousness o childhood.
 A AsYMPATHET1o Pawnbroker once called upon an Afflicted Clothing merchant tc Condole with him upon the Loss of His Wife. "Oh, Moses," quoth he, "You were so Wild with Grief when saw you Sitting by the Coffin yesterday that could not Bear the Sight, but Crept away Weeping" "Were you Not by the Grave?" inquired Moses, removing the Handkerchief from his Eyes. "No," re piled Abraham, "I was Not by the Gravel was too much Broken up witt Seeing you by the Cofin." "Oh," ex claimed Moses, "you Should have Beer by the Gravel just raised cain by the Gravel" The fable Teaches that the Depth of Human Sorrow is Boundless. A PREooo1oUs Boy was once afflicted with Boil in that Locality of the Anat. omy which is seldom mentioned in Polite society. To him a Playmate addressed Words of Coincidence. "Oh," replied the Precocious Boy, "I'm not so Power ful bad off After all. This boil has taught me, in it's Quiet, unobtrusive way, what Mantel- Pieces were Made for as you yourself shall Learn if you will Stay and See me Eat my Supper" This fable Teaches that All created things have their Spheres to Fill in this Life.
 CHAPTER ON TAoKs.
 A tack is a simple, unpretending sort of young nail, noted for its keen repar. tee when pressed for reply, and pos sessing the peculiar power, when stand, ing on it's head, of causing the cold shivers to run down the back of a man in mere anticipation of what might be.
 Tacks are in season all the year round, but the early spring is usually the time selected by them for 6 grand combined effort, and then they flourish everywhere for at least @ month. Since the inaugu- ration of the time-honored ceremonie of housekeeping, every thorough housekeeper, with long experience in the line of duty, so takes up the carpet as to retain all the tacks in their original places, thus preventing it slipping from the shakers hands, unless the tack breaks or his fingers give out. But the triumph of the tack is not complete al , this early stage; it patiently abides its time, and on the relaying of the carpet , issues forth with double force. Aftel searching the entire house for paper O tacks, without success, the unfortunat, man drops on his hands and knees tt begin, and immediately discovers fou; tacks at least, and as he rolls over an( sits down to extract these, finds the res 3 of the paper directly under him, ant : then unless he is a man accustomed tc v put up stoves and join stove-pipe tn f chances of laying the carpet on tha 6 evening are slight In selecting tack s from a saucer he always inspects tn