The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-09-15
WHY WE LAUGH.
"Pa has ITO horses and only one me-" said
little girl of Iowa.


little girl Of Iowa.
The Chinese say there are two good men
-one dead, and the ether unborn.
Latin is dead language, and that Is why
doctors use 1t for writing out their prescrip-
tions.-Picayine. es-... ss..
They make banana Ice cream now. And
it's so slippery that man has to lie down on
the floor and bold on with both hands to
swallow any Of ofit.-Ha,rkeye. R@% si'
He was SO mad to find his wife not q. home
that he took the soap and wrote across the
looking glass: "Betsy Jane Is big fool"
She amended with as wife," e..a
A chambermaid in Pennsylvania hotel
attempted to drive q nail with the butt OF .
| loaded revolver. We don't know whether
| the revolver went off or not, but we'll bet
| she hit her thumb fearful blow.
A silk company has started mandatory
at Aberdeen, Miss, the manager saying that
| the climate Is even better than that Of Japan.
| This is the only real good thing that has been
said about Mississippi In 500 years, and may
be 1t isn't true.-Ha,ckeye.
A ladies' journal announces that marked
change will take place this fall In the fash
| ion of arranging ladies' hair. We are given
no hint IS to the character of the innovation,
but it Is expected that instead of hanging the
| hair over the back of chair at night, upon
retiring, 1t will be suspended from nail in
the ceiling. a....-.
A candidate met Uncle Nose and said to
him: "Be sure and come to the ward meet
ing tonight and bring all your nelghbors
with YOU" "You ken jess bet dey will cum
long wild me, or stay at home myself. Oar
wouldn't be chicken left In my coop If /
was ter go to the ward meetin' and luff dem
| neighbors at home." @ ~&#
"Ah, DEAR" sighed Miss Fitnoy, Us she
yawned wearily, "there isn't anything to oc-
cupy ones mind now. I've made toilet cush-
ions and tides, and embroidered slippers and
painted majolica jugs, until l am weary Of
life. / believe I'll go down into the kitchen
and watch Jane make bread. / suppose
ought to know how many pints of yeast it
takes TO q loaf" And she penetrates the
business part Of the house, only to find that
bread was raised from the "baker's" cart.
Remember, young man, dat de best frien'
yer's got on earth Is better friend ter him.
self den he is ter you. Pay no attention ter
man by de boasts what he makes. Thun-
der doan all de time tell OBJ coming rain.
AOAn buIh y nAh ootCh tho i0hAo Wv AS"
spectability case he's coward. A hound
dog ain't much on fight, but he's mighty
useful animal. While Nature was foolin'
away her time paintin' different colors and
stripes on de horns OBJ de Jack snappers and
udder bugs, / doan see why she didn't con-
trive some easier way fur chile to cut Its
teeth.-Arkansas Traveller. saw
A facetious Paris journalist, wishing to
lt~1r. -
the following paragraph among the odds and
one time sailor, and while serving on board
brig not only caused the crew to mutiny,
bat also killed the captain" In the very
next number Of the journal appeared let
ter, addressed to the editor by the author of
sNotaire de Chantilly." 1t ran thus "Mon-
sieur: You say that l have been sailor,
which Is quite true; that ]. caused the crew
of brig to mutiny, and then killed the cap
tain, which Is also perfectly correct; but you
forgot to add detail which may particular
ly interest your readers after killing the
captain ate him !" RS 81 @- -a
Conversing about old-fashioned names, ex-
Secretary Blaine recently told a acorrespond-
ent story about an aunt of Mr.. Cheney,
of Boston, who named her children after
names she found in French novels. "Every
chilG," said Mr. Blaine, shad q romantic
French name. One was named Valet
Valet Cheney" "Where did she get the
name from ?" was asked "Well, 1t was in
this way. I knew Valet well when I was
boy. | also knew that he had . middle
name, Cor he used to write 1t Valet d. G.
Cheney. One day asked him to give me
his whole name. Mother got IL out of q
French novel; said Valet. my full name
is Valet de Chamber Cheney. Pretty name,
isn't It? And uncommon, too. They spell
1t in French Valet de Cham6re.' % ,s ..,s.