Daily Los Angeles herald., 1882-05-10
FUN. FACT AND FACT.

FUN. FACT AND FACT.
That woman who neglects her hus-
bands shirt front is no longer the wife
of his bosom.
If boy gets on the wrong "track" it
shows that his fathers ''switch" has not
had fair chance.
We gain as much in avoiding the fail
ing of others as we do in initiating that
in which they excel.
Fix upon that course of life which is
the most excellent, and habit will render
it the most delightful.
If a man really wants to know of how
little importance he is, let him go with
his wife to the dressmaker's.
Awoman may always judge of the es-
timation in which she is held by the con-
versation which is addressed to her.
We have heard great many reasons
given for second marriages, but none so
rrefutable as this: '1t is counter ir-
ritation."
It does aggravate man to think that
while his wife isn't afraid to tackle him
and nearly yank his head off, she is
madly terrorized by cow that he can
chase out of the yard at any time.
1T is not necessary for man to be
poor to be honest" Certainly not. But
it seems sort O. half way necessary for
man to be poor if he is honest. A dis
tiuction with quite difference, it will
be seen.
There is no doubt in the world that
everybody ought to reform, and as for
ourselves-well, we are very busy in
telling others what they ought to do,
but we will attend to that little matter
by and by.
He is great simpleton who imagines
that the chief power of wealth is to sup
ply wants. In ninety-nine cases out of
hundred it creates more wants than it
supplies. Money and contentment do
not always go hand in hand.
A Denver reporter asked Alice Oates,
the actress, how old she was, and she
replied-I am twenty two" "Were
you twenty-five recently ?" inquired the
reporter, innocently, at which the little
kicker said she detested newspaper re-
porters.
"Are you going to take that ugly pug
dog with you again, Carrie? 2" Asked
Charles. IL really believe you take
him simply to make yourself look pref
tier by the contrast" ''Don't be Jealous
of poor Pug, Charlie, replied Carrie.
''I'll take you some time when want to
look espt o.ally handsome.
Boston Transcript To show that
Captain Eads's project of raising vessels
400 to 5000 tons forty-six feet out of
the water and putting them on a railway
is not visionary one, the fact is ad-
duced that in the Bombay hydraulic
dock weights are lifted of $4,000 tons.
Engineering skill, it is safe to say, can
life anything, except, perhaps, mort
gage.
A gentleman travelling in railway
carriage was endeavoring, with consider
able eanestness, to impress some argu-
ment upon fellow passenger who was
seated opposite to him, and who appear
ed rather dull of comprehension. At
length, being slightly irritated, he ex-
claimed, in louder tone: "Why, sir,
it's as plain as A Be-" "That my be,
replied the other, with alacrity, ''but l
am d E F."
Put Yourself in His Place. Sensitive
Tax Collector (who has been kept wait
ing on the doorstep)-"Put yourself in
my place, Mr.. Bland. Just imagine
yourself kept standing in the cold and
draught every time you come, and then
not to get paidw Sensitive Taxpayer
''But just put yourself in my place, Mr..
Brown. just imagine the state of your
feelings at not being able to pay. y
Judy.
A good and sufficient reason is what
every man ought to have for his con-
duct. If we cannot have quiet then let
us have the next thing to it-viz., a
reason which is perfectly satisfactory to
ourselves. For instance, "Close up,
boys; close up I" said Colonel to his
regiment. "If.the enemy were to fire
on you when you are struggling along
that way they wouldn't kill a single man
Of you. Close upr'
A Paris milliner has Just concluded a
contract by which dealer in game in
Berlin undertakes to deliver the skins of
10000 pigeons during the season for the
adornment of hats and bonnets. The
birds are to be caught in all parts of
Germany and taken to the railway yard,
and there killed and Immediately skin
ned, the skins being forwarded to Paris
and the carcasses retailed for small
sum each on the spot.
In the Russian province of vgatka,
out of 1000 peasants, 797 have been
hogged for nonpayment of taxes within
two years. The Governor had been Pc
toned for a remission of the payments
due, on account Of poverty. The police
intervened nevertheless, assembled the
rural tribunal, brought the peasants be-
fore the Judges, and had them all SEN
fenced to receive so many lashes, threat
ening that if this were not done they
would have the Judges themselves fog
ged.
The question of an electric railway
for Berlin is being considered. The
railway would run from the west to the
east of the city, and would establish di-
rect communication with the metropoli-
tan railway. 1t is to be constructed
overhead, and supported by high col
umns. The trains are to lower them
selves on arriving at each station to the
lsvel Of the street, for passengers to get
out and enter, and will then again be
elevated to the level of the line over
head All This heino accomnlisbad hv