The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-12-07
The Fair Sex Arraigned.


''There's an end to all fisllin' for this
season!" sighed the old man, dismally.
"Perch was just bitin' good, and bass
was commencin' fer to run, but it's all
up .Row for good!"
why so?"
''See them three girls out there in a
boat?. When they goes rowin' the fish
just pack up and slip out"
How do you account for that?"
"'Cause girls make such splashin'
and fuss and slam around so that even q
whale couldn't stand it. Hear 'em now?"
There's good deal in the proposition
that girls ISLAM around" some under the
conditions nominated, and q man who
takes any interest in human nature can
hoard great deal OF information by
watching three women get into a small
boat. First, there is series. of squeals,
supplemented by an edition of yells,
closing with an abrupt dive and then an
effort to sit on the same seat, and pro-
longed falsetto inquiries as to why the
thing tips over so. To the average
woman the center. OF gravity is always
over in the next county when she
wants to get into boat, and the idea
of equilibrium never enters into her cal.
culation, until the keel pops up above
the surface to see what's going on inside.
As for rowing, the girl of the period re-
CARDS it from standpoint peculiar to
herself. and inclines to the opinion that
the oar blades were made arp because
the water is hard and digging the order
of the day.
II claim that no woman can row q
bok&" continued the old man. "YOu see
that girl shove one oar in the water while
she holds the other in the air and abuses
the other two for not steering straight?
But they come up with her, he chuckled.
ssThe other day that same party was out
6shin' and they caught one crab. The
crab knowed they was girls as soon as he
got in the boat, and he just opened his
nippers and them gals walked ashore. I
ketched their boat about o mile below,
and that crab was sitting mp on the mid
ships thwart winking at himself for his
luck and enterprise.
mo, SIR" continued the old man,
l glancing out on the river, "girls have
| NO business in boat. unless it's pulled
\ up out of the water. I'd ss quick trust q
baby with o gun as girl with boat, IT
| I had my way. There they go!" and he
| pointed to the disaster beyond. when
. they want to change places they always
try to walk past each other on the same
side and that fetches EN-! The water is
|lnigh onto two feet deep there, and they
Mare satisfied they are drownedr'
Did you ever see woman fish?
Primarily she catches the hook in her
|Idress, drops her hands in her lap, and
Ilsays, "Pshaww Next she denounces the
bait Is ''nasty = refuses to touch il, and
thnSwonders why somebody does not
''string it" on her hook for ner. If by
hny mistake she gets her line into the
[Iwster, she is sure that something is
wrong with the sinker, and If she gets q
nibble she throws the whole business
overheard, falls backward into the bot
tom Of the boat, and squeals for help.
Occasionally You will find one who
holds on and captures her prey. Look
put for such woman. Intoxicated with
Sber success she will swing her line
around her head, tear mans jaw out
nth hook, and all the time pity the
ash. II Brooklyn Eagle.