Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1882-06-17

There is one town in Connecticut that
has no fear of the n,umps. It's Had.
dam. n ,. 1E
Another lie nailed" as the wag re-
marked when the merchant tackled up
the sign, AT cost"
''will the coming man fy?" is tire
question, and the Eat Contributor
thinks he will-when the coming woman
is after him. @
"What is love-" asks everybody, and
somebody replies 1T is a feeling that
you don't want another fellow fooling
around her" i
A young man who went west some
years ago is now an undertaken in q
populous western city. He is undertak.
ing a $40 a week living on a 81 week
salary.
New York Commercial Advertiser
Charity vaunteth not itself, Is not
pufied up" and yet some men expect a
puff every time they give a dollar to an
indignent old woman's society.
"Isn't this turkey very thinT asked
the lady. "No, madam" replied the
truthful dealer, 'it's not thin. What
you mistake for bones are its corsets.
1t is a hen turkey, you know"
what is the greatest charge or
record?" asked the professor Of history.
And the absent minded student answer
ed: Seventeen dollars for hack hire
for self and girl for two hours"
A lady called ut drug store where
they also kept books, and inquired of
one of the firm: "Have you 'Grote's
Greece p" "No, mnm; but we've got
some excellent bears Oil. Wouldn,t t
that do?"
Colonel" said a man who wanted to
make out genealogical tree, "how can
become thoroughly acquainted with
my family history?" simply by run
ming for congress-" answered the colo
mel. .ss
Oil City Derrick: A young lady re.
Gently visited New York, and when she
returned related how she stopped at a
"palatable hotel and went up and down
stairs in a cultivator." Her parents
should cultivate her.
The rule now is for every lady to have
her age indicated on her hat brim
Every inch Of width represents three
years. A ten inch brim means that the
lady is thirty years old; twenty inch
brim shows that she is sixty, and SC
on.
A clergyman in Scotland preached q
few Sundays ago from the text: "if We
do not repent We shall likewise perish
The wife Of farmer who was presen,
went home and told her husband that
the text was IF you don't pay your
rent you shall leave the parish"
Tynda's theory tlmt heat is simply
motion in another form must be true
Strike a piece of iron and it becomes
hot. Strike a man and he Immediately
boils over. There is. however, one ex.
ception to the rule. Strike a warm
friend for snort loan and ne nj once
becomes as cold "a an iceberg.
Helena, NJ. T., is advancing. 4 young
lady in one month as book canvasscr
took sixty nine orders for the "Encyclo-
p;cdia Britannica" representing the val.
ue of more than $4,000. Is this to be
used as an argument for the admission,
of Montana into the union or in favor ol
female suffrage?
A story is told of member Of GER
tain theological seminary who vas sc
sensitive as to any suspicion of plagiar
ISM that he never allowed himself t.
make the slightest quotation withou
giving his authority. On one occasion
he commenced grace at breakfast thus
Lord we thank Thee that we have
awakened from the sleep which writer
in the Edinburgh Review hiss callee
tine image of death.'"