The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-09-01
NUMBER 81.
Investigating Light Literature.

The other day a stout woman, armed with
an umbrella, and leading a small urchin,
called at the Office Of a New York boys story
paper.
rs this the place where they fight In
dians ?" she inquired of the gentleman in
charge. 'Is this the locality where the brave
boy charges up the canon and speeds bullet
to the heart Of the dusby red skin % and she
jerked the urchin around by the ear and
brought her umbrella down on the desk.
1--WE publish stories for boys, ," replied the
young man evasively.
Il want to know If these are the premises
on which the daring lad springs upon his f.
cry mustang and, darting through the circle
of thunderstorm savages, cuts the captive's
cords and bears him away before the won
dering Indians have recovered from their as
tonishment That's the information I'm
after. l want to know if that sort Of thing
is perpetrated here - and she swung the
umbrella around her head and launched a
crack at the young mans head.
| Il don't remember those specific acts, -
protested the young man"
! Il want to know if this is the precinct
where the adventurous boy jumps on the
D u ann
/ picks of, one by one, the bloodthirsty pursu-
/ ers who bite the dust at every crack of his
faithful rife I'm looking for the place
where that sort Of thing happens 70 and this
time she brought the unlucky young man a
Tremendous whack across the back.
81 think r'-commenced the lodging vic
tim.
I'm in search Of the shop in which the boy
road agent holds the quiveriug stage driver
powerless with hIs glittering eye, while be
robs the male passengers with an adroitness
Of long and tried experience, and kisses the
hands of the lady passengers with gallant
~ of bearing that bespeaks noble birth and
a chivaIrous nature % screamed the woman
driving the young man into the corner. "Pu
looking for the apartment i'm which that bus
mess is transacted - and down came tn,
umbrella with trip hammer force on tht
young mans head.
Upon my soul, ma'am !''-gasped thU
wretched youth.
"I want to be introduced to the jars il
which you keep the boy scouts of the Sierras
Show me the bins full of the boy detective
of the prairie Point ont to me the barrel
full of boy pirates of the Spanish main - and
with each demand she dropped the umbrell,
on the young mans skull, until he skippe,
over the desk and sought safety in a neigh
boring canon.
"IH teach 'eIn 20 she painted. graspi1g tn
, urchin By the ear and leading him OF. 'T'l
teach 'em TO make it good or dance. Wan
/ to 90 fight Indians any more? Want to staut
. proudly upon the pinnacle Of the mountain
and scatter the plain beneath with the bleed
ing bodies Of uncOunted slain? Want to sa,
hist = in a tone that brooks no cOntradic
tiOn? Propose to spring upon the tafITa.
and with a ringing word of command send
broadside into the richly laden galley, an
then mercifully spare the beautiful maiden il
the cabin, that she may become your bride
: En- going to do il any more ?'
! With each question she hammered the yelr
/ inc urchin until his bones were sore, and
protested his permanent abandonment Of a
the glOries enumerated.
Then come along" said she, taking hir
} by the collar "Let me catch Won ar0uu
with any more ramrods and carving knive
and you'll think the leapiug, curling, resist
. less prairie fire had swept with a ferocIoU
roar of triumph across the trembling plain
and lodged in Jour pantalooHs to stay p
Brooklyn Eagle.