Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-06-01

A dangerous man-one who takes
life cheerfully.
When nature is sovereign there is no
need of austerity and self-denial.
How to procure telling effect
communicate secret to woman.
Jealousy is the sentiment of proper
ty, but envy is the instinct of theft.
1t is a most degraded nature that
will betray an honorable confidence.
Life is so short that it is the worst
of stupidities to waste an hour of it.
The clue of our destiny, wande
where we will, lies at the cradle foot
When gardener throws orange-skins
setting out slips.
Even if boy is whistling 81 want
to be an angel" all the same, lock the
door to the jampots.
All sorts of sleeves are admissible
for ladies' dresses, but the coat sleeve,
around the waist, remains the favorite.
A young lady attending balls and
parties should have female chaper0ne
until she is able to call some other chap
her own.
So sad: A pretty girl in Sweden
turned up her nose at her poor but
deserving lover, ans it froze in that
position.
pie, made use Of the following bene-
diction: "Forgive them, Lord, for they
know not what they do"
Sympathetic lady Ito beggar, who is
standing with his hat Off: "Oh, sir,
won't you take cold ?" Beggar: mo,
thank you, ma'am; only take pennies
or five cent piecesr'
"You are as full of airs as a music
box" is what young man said to a
girl who refused to let him see her
home. "That may be-" was the reply,
"but don't go with a crank"
Detroit Free Press: Pelils of pun
ming: The facetious postage stamp
clerk who told man that asked for
two twos that this was not an aesthetic
post Office is now looking for situa-
ton.
81 wonder why my head comes up
out of the water first, instead of my
both were bathing. "Well, the lightest
part always comes up FIRST" said
Thomas.
Lord BrOugham once, when he was
in a facetious mood, being asked to
define a lawyer, said, ga lawyer is a
learned gentleman who rescues your
estate from your enemies and keeps it
himself"
Aman trades $40 watch for $45
shotgun, pays $3 for repairs and then
exchanges it for $50 horse, which
kicks 1913 cow to death. and then
dies of broken heart. How much
did the man loseP
"What beautiful sightp exclaimed
Mrs. Jones, rapturously, as she looked
out over the beautiful scenery from
Pennsylvania railroad car. Eyes," re-
piled Jones, without raising his eyes
from his paper, anthracite"
Kansas City Journal: A Kansas
City genius has succeeded in making
glass eye so perfect that an absent
minded customer on accidentally put
ting it on wrong side out was enabled
to discover his inmost thoughts.
"Do you pretend to have as good q
judgment as / have?" exclaimed an
enraged wife to her husband. swell,
no." he replied, slowly; "our choice of
partners for life shows that my judy
ment is not to be compared with
yours"
"Hello! when did you return?' asked
SnObsOn, of his friend Binns, whom he
met on the street. "Why, you look so
worn out and near dead that posi-
lively thought you had been away for
a few weeks for the benefit of your
| health"
Among the gifts of a newly-married
pair the other evening was broom,
sent to the lady, accompanied with the
following sentiment: ''This trifing
gift accept from me; its use I would
commend. In sunshine use the bushy
part; in storms, the other end"
Philadelphia Record: The small
minded swindler arrested for stealing
passes deserves the severest condem-
nation. If he had simply stolen the
railroad itself he might have become
an honored and respected member of
the Wall street Board of Brokers.
Texas Siftings: A scientist says
that every adult person carries enough
PHOSPHORUS in his body to make at
least 1900 of the ordinary two-cent
packages Of friction matches. That is
a scientific fact that is of very little
value to a man who comes home in
the night, smashes every thing on the
bureau in searching for match, and
realizes that all the 1000 match-power
PHOSPHORUS concealed inside of him
will not light the gas.
There lives an old gentleman who is
famous for the soiled condition of his
linen. An old friend, who had been
looking fixedly at the bosom of tn old
gentlcman's shirt, spoke out thus: 81