Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-09-20
The Smith Fnn,itu Reunion.
Brooklyn Eagle.

Brooklyn Eagle.
''My name is Smith," said a tall country
man, entering the city editors room.
'Glad to hear you have such widely
known and usually respected cognomen,''
said the editor.
Yes, my name is Smith," repeated the
countryman, slowly sliding into a chair,
and gazing thoughtfully out of the window
You see I've just been over to Jersey to
the convention. Big time over there.
Never met so many relatives in all my life
Three thousand of 'em plump there. Ev-
cry man Smith. I tell We we're a rousin
big family, we are. No nonsense bout the
Smiths, neyther. 1 could see that, an 1
had darn good chance ter judge 'sm.
Every one o that three thousand JUS got
right down ter business at once. Drew up
a lot O resolutions, an after business went
in fur high old time. We had, you bet
1 was introduced till couldn't stand up.
un so was the rest O. the company. Every
time l was introduced the other fellow
would say: Let's smile,' or Lets have a
ball. or somthin O. that sort. Well, ye
know dian't exactly understand the fust
two or three fellows, but it didn't take me
a very considerable time ter find out what
they was up to. 1 always said yes after
that, an, always took apple jack. That
seemed ter be the most limo
cent lookin drink goin' round-leastwise it
looked most like water, but, bless your
soul, it's the most deceivin' stuff you ever
see. Yes, it's just Hghtnin', but the Smiths
seemed ter take ter it like babies, an 1, be-
in a Smith, didn't want ter let go my end
O. Their saw. knew what I was adoin'.
could feel it 4 creeping down inter my legs
an buzzin' around in my head, but
wasn't agoin' ter cave with three thousand
relations standin' around takin' me in.
Some O. the other fellers seemed to be o
the same mind as / was, fur I noticed they
didn't shirk the pizon' stuff no more nor 1
did. Well, we gan ter get kinder mixed
all round. Did you ever drink apple
| jack?"
Never touch anything" said the editor.
well, apple jack is right there every
time" said the countryman, land it just
took hold on our entire family. You never
see such a mixin' up of Smiths afore in all
your life. We was tangled up more nor a
modern bank cashiers accounts, and we
amt unraveled yet
How is that" asked the editor.
well, you see, we spent whole day
tryin' to sort ourselves out, and the more
we tried to arrange things the more trouble
we fell inter. You see, we was all Smiths,
and that mixed up the hull business.
We couldn't say who was which.
dunno whether I'm myself, or my third
cousin, or. perhaps. somebody else's broth
er. I'M that's the way with the hull crowd
We started in Ter sort out the Johns first.
I'M that floored US. Every other man was
John Smith, I'M we couldn't begin ter
place 'em. Then come the Ebenezzars
There were more Ebenezzars than you
could count in a month. Then the
Jameses and the Georges un'-why, bless
your heart, its just terrible Yer don't get
me ter no more family gatherin's."
But you surely know your own Nance
said the editor
Il did, but don't no more" said the
countryman with a sigh. IF I'm who
was when left hum, belong out in York
state, but l may be somebody else, un' then
l don't know where live. l was sorted
out with the Jameses :then somebody swort
l was a John, I'M afore l knew it they hat
me over with the Richards. l tell We tina
appleiack JUS finished up the hull Smith
tribe, un' no mistake. Now l JUS come il
ter get your advice in the matter. If q
hum un' find live somewhere else. why
I'm left. un' if I don't go hum where do
live?'
.'Give it up" said the editor.
Then you can't give me no advice?"
Pm afraid your case is hopeless
well, now you JUS bet I don't 60 to n
more family gatherings so long as II
a Smith, said the countryman, backin
out of the door and walking in a dazed wa
down stairs.