The Labor enquirer., 1882-12-30
STRAY CLIPPINGS.

him at DIS own game. AL AneIlcsn Wnf
had been to Europe was telling friend, whc
knew be was liar, about his, trip across tht
atlantic, and how, on the 25 b Of the month
.sthey entered swarm of locusts that carried
i every stitch of canvass off the ship The
Iistuer looked thoughtful a moment, and then
said, hesitatingly: "Yes, guess we met the
same swarm of locusts the next day, the26th
Every locust had on pair of canvass pants. y
The first liar went around the corner and
kicked himself. ~. .t=
Congress won't give the country a good
navy, SO Philadelphia man had to devise q
olan for protecting America against the
:naviPs of The, old world. His scheme is to
catch few whales, tame them, and, when
the feet of the enemy appears, send tn m at
the ships with torpedoes tied to their tails.
" "Have you resided long in this town ?''
asked tourist of the Oldest inhabitant.
Yes" he replied: "a long, long time. Dye
see that mountain over yonder? Well, that
was here when came here" The tourist
travelled on. j.:
The reporter of Boston paper went to see
the panorama of "Bunyan's Pilgrims
Progress" The man at the door refused to
admit him without paying. and the rel eporter
said ; "Send Mr.. Bunyan out here, he will
let me ip."
Carrie Ito Gipsy): "But you said you
would show us our husbands faces in the
water for a shilling, and we only see our"
Gipsy: "And won't Eev be your husbands
faces when you get married?"
Now that 1t leaks out that Bismarck wrote
a poem some Forty years ago, American
editors are expressing satisfaction that the
German Chancellor has at last been overtaken
rheumatism. 4
Chicago man who was sleeping with a
brace of revolvers under. his pillow, was
robbed the other nignt. He has thrown the
weapons down a we'll aud married a woman
that snores.
A little girl on being told something which
much amused her exclaimed emphatically:
Il shah remember that all my life, and when
l forget it will write it down."
Water on the brain can usually be prevented
by the use of an umbrella.
The New Jersey Enterprise has discovered
that the most asthetic thing known is cigar
stump. 1t is all but.
"When my cousin was married." said Mrs.
Ramsbotham, 81 gave her handsome water
giraffe and two goblins,"
Walt Whithem exclaimes in one of his
poems: "Give me solitude" Very easily
obtained, sir start to take up a collection
tor the Washington monument.
"Where is you hired now, Matildy ?" ''Pse
working for de most 'spectabIe, high toned
folks in Austin. Dey an well fixed shore"
HAS dey got slberware and sch?" ~
should say so. Dey hab silber tin pans, and
de copper bIler am pure gold.
1t was Mixes third appearance in court
within thirty days, and in reply to his usual
appeal Tor clemency the magistrate lnpa-
tiently observed: Its no use, Miks,you're
good for nothing" "It's not me sh'iie to be
braggin'," re orted Mike, "butifyer HCnneur
will borry pair of shellahs an stlp outside
wild me I'Il make it inconvByni nient for ye to
howl that opinion"
ninty seven pound girl has beau that
tips the beam at two hundred and ten pounds
She keeps him in attendance every nlgnt up
to twelve o'closk, seated comfortably IN an
armchair. She explained to companlon'>
upder the seal of secrecy, that beneath the
cushio. she kept her Autumn caves in
book, and as on as they were sufficiently
pressed, she would give him the mitten.
"Where's Snoggle.o ?" asked the propri'
etor Of an Arkanses newspaper, entering the
ofios and ipquifiDg for the editor. lie
hasn't come down this morning" replied d
reporter 'fWhat's the mAtrer?" "Well, he
got into dispute last night, and fellow
SHOT his head off" Did he leave any copy?
"No sir" How in thunder did he expect
run without copy? Blamed if 60 to his
funeral!"
A western man has been telling some
Philadelphians how western cities grow he
says he went off into the mountains hunting,
and, night coming on, he went to sleep IN
tree to be out of reach of the wolves. he
was awakened early next morning by some
workmen, who told him to get down and
finish his nap on the court house steps, as
they wanted to turn that tree into a fAgpoie
tor the hotel across the way. He got down
and while rubbing his eyes was nearly ruL
over by street car aud got his feet tangled
n q n nfnn nkri1 Ill.