Morning journal and courier., 1882-01-12
SCIEsUTSs [Frnm tha Nav York Times. 1

There is perhaps no one object i'll nature which brings to woman so much trouble and vexation as her scissors Five per cent. of married women quarrel with their husbands and thirteen per cent. of all women quarrel with their best female friends over the ques- ton, is the word scissors singular or plural :? When the hurried husband, anxious to cut the ragged edges of his wristbands before go- ing to his business, cries out to his wife, "Gimme, that scissors" and she calmly re- plies, ''You should say those scissors,' my dear," the peace of the household is threat ened; and when the wife's most intimate friend says to her, 'I notice you always say those scissors, but Charles tells me that you should say that scissors,'" the reply cuts asunder the friendship of many years.
 The chief trouble caused by scissors is not, however, due to their disputed grammatical rank It arises from the frequency with which they are lost. There is no domes- tic article-not even the tack hammer, the bed-wrench, or the corkscrew-which disap- pears so constantly as does the scissors. Not day passes in any industrious house. hold without at least one prolonged search for the scissors Curiously enough, it is al- ways discovered by the one who wants the scissors that some one else has wickedly or carelessly mislaid then ''Mary, you had my scissors last now where are they?" or, ' sssssan; you didn't give back my scissors
 orning what did you do with them ?'' EsluttrRS WHICH HI SuDSsauc0 dr6 n6arO
 Ane houses out of ten every day in the
 Jar. Of the shy and vicious ways of scis- .asors and their proneness to conceal them selves little note is taken by the searcher, and her first and uniform impulse is to assume that her children, her mother, her sister, or her visiting friend has wantonly lost the scis- sors.
 It is nevertheless we'll known that scissors lose themselves purposely, either through un- conquerable shyness or ineradicable vicious ness. Many women, taking pattern by the habit which some men have of labelling their dogs with engraved collars, try to insure the safety of their scissors by attaching to them long red or blue ribbons. The plan is use- less one, even in the case of the dogs. It is assumed that when a dog has wandered from home and forgotten both his masters name and residence, he will twist his head over his shoulders and refresh his memory by reading the inscription on his collar, after which he will gladly seek his home. Even were it pos sible for dog to so twist his head as to. read what is engraved on his collar-a feat which any anatomist will declare to be impossible it does not follow that the d og would instant ly be smitten with desire to go home. Facts prove that dogs with engraved collars lose themselves at least as frequently as other dogs and that the collar is of no sort of use except as an ornament. Equally useless is the custom of tying a piece of ribbon to a pair of scissors. Were the ribbon attached to ring in the wall it would, of course, keep the scissors in confinement-that is if it were strong enough-but, it is, the scissors simply carry the ribbon with them into hid ing. Cases have been known of scissors which have concealed themselves in holes, into which they have carefully drawn every inch of their accompanying ribbons, and it is simply wonderful that women should still cling to the delusion that ribbon prevents the loss of the scissors in the face of the countless demonstrations that it does nothing of the kind.
 It is the belief the best scientific men that scissors find the light very painful, and bury themselves under beds and behind articles of furniture in order to avoid the light The justly famous Prof. Nasmythe, of Chicago, asserts that on one occasion he surprised a whole school of scissors in the act of conceal ing themselves. The scissors in question, of which there were six, belonged to Mrs. Mas mythe, and had been left by her, on retiring to bed, in her work basket in the back parlor on the first floor of the house. The profes- sor on the evening in question had been at- tending the meeting of scientific club, and returning home late at night discovered the six scissors stealthily ascending the third story stairs on their way to the attic. They moved silently on their points and with their handles in the air, and when he caught them and placed them for safe keeping in his bu- l reau drawer they remained perfectly motion less. They were found in the drawer the next morning, and Mrs. Nasmythe does not l yet know how they came there.
 Having thus discovered that scissors move | by alternately advancing their points, the | professor has invented variety of scissors | which he claims cannot move. The two | blades are made precisely alike, each having | double edge, and are put together with l spring clasp. When not in use, the blades l are separated, and as neither blade can move | by itself-any more than onelegged man can wallS-neither can run away. Three | months ago he provided Mrs. Nasmythe with | twelve Interchangeable blades, not one of which has ever been missed so long as the blades were separated when laid in the work basket Ono pair of blades was, however carelessly laid down while fastened together, and disappeared in the course of the day so completely that not trace of either of the blades has ever since been found. The se- curity against loss which the new style of scissors thus gives will necessarily make them very popular, and Prof Nasmythe, who has patented his invention, will grow rich in money and in the gratitude of countless thankful women.