The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-12-09
INITIATED IN MASONRY.
The Bad Boy Gives His Father the
Royal Bumper Degree,


boy of the grocery man as he went
10 the cinnamon bag on the shelf
and took out long stick Of CHINA
mon bark 10 chew.
"Why, yes, of coarse am, but
what set you to thinking Of that p
asked the grocery man, as he went
to the desk, and charged the boys
father with half a pound of CHINA
mon.
swell, do the goats bunt when
you nishiate fresh candidate ?"
mo, of course not. The goats
are cheap ones, that have no life,
and we muZzle them, and put pill
lows over their heads, SO they can't
hurt anybody" says the grocery
man, as he wjnked at a brother Odd
Fellow who was seated on sugar
barrel, looking mysterious. But
why do you ask ?"
80, nuthin, only wish me and
my chum had muzzled our goat with
a pillow. Pa would have enjoyed
his becoming a member Of our
lodge better. You see, pa had been
telling US how much good the Ma
sons and Odd Fellers did and said
we ought To try and grow up good
so we could jine the lodges when
we got big, and / asked pa if it
would do any hurt for us to have a
play lodge in my room and purtend
to nishiate, and pa said it wouldn't
do any hurt. He said it would i'm
prove our minds and learn us to be
men. So my chum and me borried
goat that lives in livery stable
and carried him up to my room
when pa and ma were ont riding,
but the goat blatted so we had to tie
a handkerchief around his nose, and
his feet made such noise on the
floor that we put some baby's socks
on his feet. Well, sir, my chum
and me practiced with that goat
until he could bunt a picture of a
goat every time. We borried a buck
beer sign from a saloon man and
hung it on the back of a chair,
and the goat would hit it every
time. That night pa wanted
to know what we were doing up in
my loom, and ! told him we were
playing lodge and improving our
minds, and pa said that was right,
there was nothing that did boys of
our age half so much good as to i'm
itate men, and store by useful noll-
idge. Then my chum asked pa if
he didn't want TO come up and take
the grand bumper degree, and pa
LATED and said he didn't care if he
did, just to encourage us boys in in
nocent pastime, that was so i'm
proving to our intellect. We had
shut the goat up in a closet in our
room, and he had got over his blat-
ting, so we took off the handkerchief
and he was eating some of my pa
per collars and skate straps.
."We went up stairs and told pa to
come up pretty soon and give three |
distinct laps, and when we asked |
him who comes there, he must say,
ga pilgrim who wants to join your |
ancient order, and ride the goat. |
Ma wanted to come up, too, but we
told her If she come in it would |
break UP the lodge, cause a
woman couldn't keep a secret, |
and we didn't have any side-saddle |
for the goat. Say, eff you never tried |
it, the next time you nitrate man |
in your MasOn's lodge, you sprinkle
a little kyan pepper on the goats |
beard just before you turn him loose.
You can get three times as much to
the square inch OF goat. You |
wouldn't think it was the same |
goat. Well, we got all fixed and pa
raped, and we let him in and told /
him he must be blindfolded, and he |
got on his knees a latin, and [ tied /
a towel around his eyes and then [ /
turned him around and made him /
get down on his hands also, and then
his back was right towardythe closet |
door, and l put the buck beer sign
right against pas clothes. He was |
d latin all the time, and said we |
boys were as full Of fun as they
made 'ena, aud we told him it was a |
solemn occasion, but we wouldn't |
permit no levity and if he didn't |
stop latin we couldn't give
him the grand bumper |
degree. Then everything |
was ready, and my chum had his
hand on the closet door, and some
kyan pepper in his other hand, andII
asked pa in low base tones if he felt
as though he wanted to turn back, |
or if he had nerve enough to 90
ahead and take the degree. I |
warned him that it was full of dan |
gers as the goat was loaded for bear.
and told him he yet had time to re-
trace his steps if he wanted to. He
said he wanted the whole business.
and we could go ahead with the
menagerie. Then I said to pa that |
if he had decided to go ahead. and
not blame US for the consequences.
to repeat after me the following:
t'Brlng forth the Royal Bumper. and
let him bump!" Pa repeated the
words, and my chum sprinkled the
kyan pepper on the goats NOUS
tache, and he SneeZed once anddook-
ed sassy, and then he see the lager
beer goat rarin up. and he started for
it just like q coW-catcher and blatted. |
Pa is real fat, but he knew he had
got hit, and he grunted and said:
"HelIs fire! what you boys doinw
and then the goat gave him another
degree, and pa pulled of. the towel
and got up and started for the stairs.
and so did the goat, and ma was at
the bottom of the stairs listening.
and when I looked over the ban
listers pa and ma and the coat
we're all IN heap, and pa