Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-02-09
PITR AND POINT.


BARRELS were first made in the cooper
aee' IS ~ a ~ - ..<.
A Rod and lyin' catches the biggest
fish OF the season.
DARLING, this potato is only half
done. Then eat the other half, love-"
PEOPLE talk of a visit to the salt sea
for the purpose Of getting little fresh
air.
WHEN the river rises one foot what
becomes Of the other? It remains tide,
OF course.
WHEN the Arab has stolen everything
else in sight he quietly folds his tent
and steals away.
WHEN a man threatens to give you q
piece of his mind he wishes to destroy
the peace of yours.
WHEN young man is alone with his
best girl he is generally supposed to be
"holding his own" 80
By mother-in-law-stY You can de-
ceive your guileless little wife, young
man, but her fathers Whenever"
THE author of the "Little Brown
jug" was probably in jugular vein,
when he wrote that sometime popular
ditty.
A BRIDGE over stream in Missouri
bears this legend "Drive over as fast
as you want to, and be burned :" Every
body, therefore, drives at walk.
A TEXAS young man shot himself be-
cause young lady refused to dance with
him. In his blind rage he probably
mistook himself for rival.
The "utterly utter" kind of talk has
infected the street gamins, one of whom,
after picking up a more that usually
fragrant cigar-stump, exclaimed to his
friend: 'Jack, this is quite too posi-
lively bully"
"ToMMY," said mother to her 7-year-
old boy, "you must not interrupt me
when 1 am talking with ladies. You
must wait until we stop, and then you
can talk" "But you never STOP" re-
torted the boy.
PRIDE's fall: eyes," said Clara,
"your Maltese cat is pretty enough, but
he can never come up to my bird" That
was all she knew about it. That kitty
did come up to her bird that very day,
and it was all day with the bird.
"FATHER, did you ever have another
wife beside mother ?" "No, my boy !;
what possessed you to ask such ques-
ton ?" because saw in the old fam
lily Bible where you married Ammo
Domini in 1885, and that isn't mother,
for her name was Sally Smith"
A CAMBRIDGE youth wrote the follow
ing in young lady's autograph album /:
:" In the chain of friendship regard me
as missing link :" and after signing
his name he added underneath by way
of postscript: But do not mistake me
for Darwin's missing onel |"
clay off your overcoat or you won t
feel it when you go out, said the land
lord of Western inn to a guest who was
sitting by the fire. That's what I'm
afraid Of" returned tho man. The last
time was here laid off my overcoat.
haven't felt it since"
"CHARL1E, have you got hooked
nose?" Yes, darling" answered
Charlie, smiling, "Tm afraid it is a lit
tie liable to that criticism" "Well,
never should have noticed it, she added,
Indignantly, eff that horrid Spriggs girl
across the way hadn't told me to ask you
if you wouldn't like to sell it for sy-
phon."
WHEN little. Minnie was years old
she asked for some water one night.
When it was brought she said, "Papa,
can't you get me some fresh water ?
This tastes a little withered." Her little
sister Belle had been accustomed to q
light in the room, and walked in great
distress, crying, Me can't see, Aunt
Bessie; my eyes are all blowed out
AT juvenile party a young gentle
man about 7 years old kept himself from
the rest of the company. The lady Of
the house called to him: "Come and
play and dance, my dear. Choose one
of those pretty girls for your wife. y
"Not much p cried the young cynic.
"No wife for mel Do you think want
to be worried out of my life, like papa p
HE read in a newspaper paragraph
the statement that "The child is father
to the man." and straightway went and
asked his mother if that was true? eyes
my son." she answered. cit may seem 8
little strange to you, but it's true y
"Well, mamma" responded the inquis
tive youth. "why is it if I'm papa's
father that he always ticks me and ]
never lick him ?"
THE minister's man of a certain
preacher followed him up one day t.
| close the pulpit door as usual. Their,
was something wrong with the lock, ant
the door would not "sneck." John
losing his patience, said, 81 think thu
DEVILS In the pulpit Just at this mo
ment the minister lifted his bowed head
and, turning seriously on him, said
"Surely, ye dinna mean me, John ?"
Norupps WHO uIyr DrJ TT TIT Nur1 rpr-