Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-08-03
SPICE AND AllSPiCE.


"GUM ARABIC BEY," is what the Bos-
ton Traveller calls him.
ALMOST anybody can run into debt;
but nearly everybody has to crawl out
of it.
ENGLAND is now the big "bob-tailed
horse" Who will beat on the hey ~
Inter- Ocean.
| ~ AM saddest when l sting" mur-
murs the mosquito.-Boston CONNER
ciaL Bulletin.
WHEN clock strikes it goes right on
with Its work. When men strike they
stop, as a rule.
A TAILOR would make an evenly-bal-
anced politician. He goes in for both
men and measures. es.-Pkitddeiphia But
tetin.
WHILE the British were shelling Alex
andria, we more practical Yankees con.
tinued shelling peas and peanuts.
NeW York NeWs.
| CAPT. MURRAY calls his steamship
Alaska "the greyhound of the Allan
tic" She is probably bark rigged-
Boston Transcript.
The New Orleans Picayune tells of a
certain sea shore resort where nothing
but small beer can be bought. This is
said to be shore pop.
FBoas are so thick in some of the
ponds of Kansas that they have to take
turns sitting in the grass all night
Detroit Free Press.
"MR. D., if you'll get my coat done
by Saturday, shall be forever indebted
to you" "lf that's your game, in won't
be done," said the tailor.
A GEORGIA woman applied at furni-
ture store for a tombstone bureau. Skill
full inquiry finally elected than what she
wanted was bureau with marble top.
DON'T read a word about the bonn
aIdment, and / shan't. It's all "men-
of-war!" men-ofwar! l FAY, give
the women -of-war q chance.-Susdn Il.
anthony.
SAY, when boy standing on his head
looks at his feet, does he look up or
down? Hey? Take that to the Smith
sonian Institute and ponder over it,
| HdWkeye.
Ar st. Cloud traveller asked at what
time the little steamers left. Every
ten minutes" was the answer, "mon-
sieur will not have to wait over quarter
Of an hour"
IT's Just as We expected. Had the
Egyptians kept Cleopatra's needle at
home, instead OF getting a sewing-ma-
chine, all might have been well.-OH
City Blizzard.
In Egypt:
| The khedive In his harem sits,
And things go hsrum scarnm,
The sultan gets tnsultan notes,
And has TO sit and barum.
Baltimore american.
A VERMONT man has invented gun
which will send a bullet through nike
men standing one behind the other.
During battle men always stand thus
to let the enemy have fair pop.
An exchange devotes three quarters Of
column Oh "When to Cut Timothy"
The best advice on the subject can be
given in few words, viz, cut him when
he's broke.-Cin. Saturday Night.
THERE are not a few people in the
community who are morally in the cha
otic condition of the boy who wrote in a
composition:-"I would rather be a
pollywog if I was rhinoceros. though
il was suppose / wouldn't"
The Denver Tribune thinks our navy
is "all right" 1t says: Bill Cham
dler had the marines all out yesterday
firing at mark on the Potomac flats.
Several COWS on the Alexandria side
were hit, and perished miserably. Brit
ish exchanges please copy
"WHo is that man ?" asked the stran-
ger of the policeman. "He looks like
criminal-looks as if he had murdered
somebody and was afraid it would be
found out" "Oh, no." answered the
policeman, "he sold toy pistols for the
Fourth. That's all."-LO,ceH Citizen.
"ASp so you are married?" said one
old acquaintance to another, at the
Markham House yesterday. "Quite
so" was the reply; 81 have been mar
RED more than a year" As long as
thatP" "Yes, indeed; quite as long.
/ am now first walking gentleman to q
double -jointed boy baby. Come down
and see me.-Attantl Constitution.
PROPERTY AS has been said,
Mr.. Lieutenant, strike you yourself my
| daughter out of the thoughts. l am
from the bottom against the military"
Lieutenant, madly despairing-"But
can without your daughter not live"
Property ty-holder-"That believe i GER
tainly, with the scanty lieutenant's pay"
Translated from the Sontagsbtah.
A MICHIGAN man who was pursued by
q bull, escaped q probably terrible
death py splitting tobacco juice in the
animals eyes. On the strength OF this
the Detroit Free Press advises: I" Don't
let anybody make you believe tobacco Is
unhealthy apparently forgetting that
il was very unhealthy for the bull
| Norristown Herald.
A FABMER's will was presented for pro-
bate (it was in old days. to an arch
deacon during his visitation. He found
n name scratched out. The widow
stepped forward and explained: "Iteu
you how he be, sir. When we comes to
look into the will we sees ESQ left to
John Wheeler. Whats he got to do
with masters money ? says l. So
gets knife and us scratches him out,
and that's just how he be, sir. "-Aos-
ley's Oxford "reminiscences.
TEXAS paper: They were raised here
in Austia, but she did not know much
about gardening; at the same time, she
did not care to expose her ignorance to
her husband. They had only been mar
ried a short time when he said: al
notice the asparagusis is about ripe; don't
YOU want to 60 out into the garden and
get some 2" She replied: "I'H tell
Won what we will do. We will go out
together. You climb up and shake the
tree, and I'll catch them in my apron as
they fall.
| SOMETIMES ii is not judicious TO be too
particular in locating local occurrences,
so ws will merely say that the following
conversation was heard in acertain store
in Oil City. A young lady was LOOKING
at some hosiery, and asked the blushing
clerl; "How do you sell thoseg" at
the same time holding up before him .
long pair Of zehra-colored ones. Those
are worth Is Q psir," he answered.
"Oh, N.Y." twittered the giddy creature,
they come pretty high, don't they
yves" stammered the bashful youth.
"th-shsy come p-prs-pIetty high. bu-but
you're tall. you know"