The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1882-05-06

1t was a Chicago lady who went to see
the school for Scandal" and then said
she never thought Phil Sheridan could
have written anything as good as that.
Valuable testimonial "Dear Sir-Two
months ago my wife could hardly speak.
She has taken two bottles of your Life
Renewer,' and now can't speak at all.
Please send me two more bottles.S
ring in the nose, and that's all.-ALbdny
Argus. Isn't that enough to wear in the
nose2 Perhaps you wan an African gen.
tleman to carry around a whole jewelry
store in his proboscis.
The story is told of an Iowa man that
he has been married four times, and has
all four of his mother.in,laws living with
him in one house. Well, by George we
believe that story about Daniel, now.
Fifty dollars won't buy a very large
diamond pin, but-whom chip in for a
testimonial
A Boston paper says that joaquin
Miller stalks round town accompanied
by a couple of stalwart r%etainers." We
take it for granted that the latter are 10
the purpose of holding the Bostonian
while "Wauk" reads his poetry to them
They need to be stalwart.-San Francisco
Post.
ooh, pshaw p exclaimed the gentle
man who has just billed Burlington for
a lecture on "The Frauds of the Bible"
closing an animated theological discus
sion in a Main street bar-room. ooh,
pshaw; there amt no sense talking that
way about him. Pm willing to give
Moody credit for all the good points he's
got. He's an earnest enough be-
heves what he says honest enough in
his opinions, l reckon; but dog-gon it
the mans coarse; he amt got no kul-
cher"
A stranger in Bodie one day last week,
in eating a plate of hash at a restaurant,
being very hungry, ,unguardedly neg
Iected to che it well, and swallowed a
large o button. They doctored him
for the pneumonia three days before he
was able to explain. Then, according to
the Gold Hill Neus, they fed him a big
b~utton-hole tied to a string and fished it
out in no time. He screens all his hash
very carefully through a cane-bottomed
chair now before he eats it.
II say, Cap'n," cried a keen-eyed man,
rs he landed from a steamer at Natchez,
II say, Cap'n, these here arn't all. |
have left somethin' ON board, that's a
fact"
"Them's all the plumber you brought
on board, anyhow" answered the COM
handing officer.
"WaI, l see now /; 1 grant it is all o. K.
accordin' to the list; boxes, three chests,
two band-boxes and portmanty; two
hams, one part cut; three ropes of in
yens and q tea-kettle. But see, Cap'n,
Pm dubersome /; l feel there's somethin'
short tho I've counted 'em nine times
over, and neve took my eyes off UNI
while on the craft; there's somethin'
not right, somehow"
wal, stranger, times up; them's all
| knows IN SO jest fetch your wife and
five children out of the cabin, COS I'm
goin' to put off"
"Them's uml Darn it, them's UNI! I
know'd I'd forgot somethin'W
"The anchorite in his cell is a man not
only at war with his own nature, but he
is offending against the highest good of
human society. So, too, all the schemes
which men have invented to take the
place of the family, by substitution Of
association, leagues, phalanxes, always
have been unsuccessful. They have con-
tanned the elements of their own dissolu-
ton, because they have sought to abro-
gate the first appointment of God. The
family was constituted by him, and moth
ing of human device can take its place or
do its work. Men have tried again and
again they have banded themselves to-
gether, and in a thousand ways sought to
reach what they deemed better results,
but their inventions have wrought out
the same bad product, and have shown
that God knew and that the Bible teach
es what is best for man."