The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-16
TILE DAILY ARGUS.

you to day, Mrs. Brown" Mrs. Brown:
YES, sir. Schoolmaster amt well, yer
see. sir, an 'e's give 'em 'oliday, sir:
so | SEES to meself, L SEES, n beyootiful
time to have two of is teeth drawed,
sir!''
Thousands of immigrants arriving
laily in New York immediately leave
or the West, and many persons won
Ter where they all find employment.
The fact is. they merely take the places
Of those Western people who are blown
away by frigatful tornadoes
lis there such thing as luck?" asks
correspondent. There is For in
stance. if you 90 home at two o clock in
The morning, after promising your wife
% be in early, and find her asleep. and
1ont tumble over any chairs, that's
luck, but it isn't to be depended on.
Gomgom, junior, who has only been
married few days, happened, in COM
pany with his wife, to pass near bee
hive. The bees stung his wife, and
Gomgom. instead of plying her. said,
''How intelligent arc those bees, my
dear, to know that we are in our honey
moonr'
A father complained bitterly of the
inc. He said: when | was u boy I
only had one suit of clothes, and had
to take care of it. / was only allowed
one pair of shoes a year in those daysr'
Then the oldest boy spoke up and said:
Il say. dad, you have a much easier
time of it now-you are living with usr'
\ young lady who had been married
little over year wrote to her father
= IL ~ /
list little cottage in the world, ornament
ed with the most charming little creep
erS You ever saw" The old man read
the letter, and exclaimed, Twins, by
thunder
''Are You going to take that ugly pug
dog with YOU again, Carrier asked
Charles Il really believe you take
him simply to make yourself look prst-
tier by the contrast. " Don't be jealous
of poor Pug, Charley" replied Carrie.
I'm take you some time when l want
to look especially handsome"
a young lady of Harlem was recently
noticed by her mother to be fonding
and kissing u pet kitten. ''Why, Mary"
said the mother, ''you have kissed that
kitten more i'll five minutes than you
have me in five years. Don't YOU
know why I'd rather kiss the kitten
than you, mother?" No, my child"
'.You haven't got whiskersr'
An Equivocal Compliment so
glad to meet YOU here. Capt. Spinks!
and so glad YOU re going to take me in
to dinnerr' Capt. S. is delighted.)
You're about the only man in
the room my husband isn't likely to
be jealous Off, Capt. Spinks' delight
is no longer unmixed.)
A French speculator, who has Just
been ruined, meets one of his pals.
'.And what are you going to do now?"
inquiries this person. ''Do? there's
nothing left for me but the other
worldt' My dear fellow! Kill your
self?'' kill myself? sail for New York
to morrow, that's alp
There are number of circumstances
that will take the conceit out of a man,
and one of the chief is. after taking a
turn ND the street and judging by the
way they look ut You that you are max
ing a stunning impression on the girls,
to find on your return that your hat has
been on wrong side foremost all the
time.
They were talking of the innumera-
BILE caravan of colored men now passing
to the tomb who had once been COACH
men to the Father of his Country.
Brown said they were enc and all inn
posters. You wrong them,' said Fogg;
''why, can show you man, a friend
of mine, who has seen Washington,
''Nonesenser' said Brown; I'll bet
you something on that" What shall
it be?'' asked Fogg. "A dinner for
three" ''Donem Fogg retired, return
ing a moment later with a youngish-
looking fellow. Here he is. said Fogg.
WHAT criet. Brown, '.do YOU mean
to say you have seen Washington?"
30, yes" was the quiet reply lived
there two winters" Brown paid tor the
dinners without whimper.
Dry Quarters for Swine.
Perhaps there is nothing more GER
tainly damaging to litter of pigs, or,
for that matter, to swine of any age.
than to have access to, and habitually
lie upon manure pile. Men who build
basement stables, giving the story above
the basement such width Us will afford
shed upon one or both sides, permit
ting manure to accumulate beneath
these, thus inviting swine to seek a