Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-11-10

hIr. Spoopendyke. "Don't YOU know
that when a MIN quits smoking it de-
presses him? What dye want to talk
about depressing things for? Now's
the time to make me cheerful. IF We
don't know any cheerful things, keep
quiet"
"Of course" assented Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, ''you want subjects that will
draw your mind away from the habit oil
smoking like you used to. Won't it be
nice when the long winter evenings
come, and the fire is lighted and you
have your slippers and paper ="
"That's just the time want cigar"
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, bounding
around in his chair and scolding his
wife. ''Ain't We got sense enough to
single your tongue for minute? The
way you're keeping it up, you'll drive
me back to my habit in less N hour.''
he continued solemnIy. land then nv
blood be on your headr'
"Oh, dearn' sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. 81 didn't mean to. Did you no.
tice about the comet? They say it is
going to drop into the sun and burn
up :"
"There ye 60 againr' yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke. ':You can't open your
measly mouth without suggesting some
thing that breaks me down. What dive
want to talk about fire for? Who
wants fire when he's stopped smoking?
Two minutes more and I'll have a pipe
in my MOUTH and Mr.. Spoopendyke
groaned dismally in contemplation of the
prospect.
I'm glad you're going to stay at
home today continued Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, soothingly. You'd be sure
to catch cold if you went out; and by
and bye We'll have a piping hot din
ner ~
That's itr' squealed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, bounding out of his chair and
plunging around the room. You'd got
to say something about pipe! l knew
how it would be- You want me to die!
You want me to smoke myself into an
early grave, You II fetch it! Don't give
yourself any uneasiness! You're on
the trackn' and Mr.. Spoopendyke bur-
led his face in his hands and shook con-
vulsively.
81 meant it for the best, my
dear" murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke.
II thought 1 was drawings
THAT'S itr ripped Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. Drawing! You've driven me
to it instead of keeping me from it
You know how its donei All YOU need
now is lightning rod and dish of
milk to be an inebriate's home.
Where's that cigar left here on the
mantelP Gimme my death warrant!
Show me my imported doom! Drag
forth my miniature coffinr' and Mr..
Spoopendyke swept the contents of the
shelf upon the floor and howled dis
mally.
Isn't that it?' asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, pointing to small pile of snuff
on the chair in which Mr.. Spoopendyke
had been sitting. THAT looks like it."
"Wahp' yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
grasping his hat and making for the
door. Another time swear off, you
go into the country, you hearr' and
Mr.. Spoopendyke dashed out of the
house and steered for the nearest to-
bacco shop.
81 don't care" muttered Mrs.
Spoopendyke; "when he swears off
again. I'm willing to leave. and in the
meantime l suppose he'll be healthier
without his pipe, so I'll hang it up on
the wall where he'll never think of
looking for it, and, having consigned
the tobacco to the flames, Mrs.
Spoopendyke gathered her sewing
materials around her and double,
clinched an old resolution never to lose
her temper, no matter what happened.
-BrOoktyn Eagle.