Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1882-03-06

Say" said the city youth, to the mod
est countryman, ''hay seed out O. your
hair yet?' ''Wall', was the deliberate re-
ply, II jedge not from the way calves run
after me-"
"C-o-l-o-r-s," said Sunday-school boy,
slowly spelling it out-''coat of many col
lars-why did it have so many collars,
teacher? So they could lift him out of the
well easy?"
One of the experts at Washington said
she couldn't understand Guiteau." The
sheriff may not understand the assassin,
either; but it is hoped that he will soon
get the hang of him.
A man intruded into an Irishmans
shanty the other day. ''What do you
| want?" asked Pat. Nothing" was the
| visitors reply. ''Then you'll find it in
the jug where the whisky was
A Virginia paper tells of venerable
negro who has been found in Dinwiddie
county, one hundred and thirty years old,
and says that he is ''spryer than most
men at one hundred and twenty"
1.-THE bees are swarming and there's no
end to them," said farmer Jones, coming
into the house. His little boy George
came in a second afterwards and said
there was an end to one Of 'em, anyhow,
and it was red hot too.
Rubbing a bald head daily with fresh
raw onion will make the hair grow out
again. Nature can stand a good DEAL
but when it comes to such treatment she
throws up the sponge and would start g
crop of peacock feathers if the owner de-
sired it,
A little Austin boy, whose impecunious
parents were always moving from one
house to another, was asked by the Sun
day-school teacher, "Why did the Israel
ties move out of Egypt?" because the,
couldn't pay their rent, 1 reckon" wa
the reply.
''Mother," said little girl, who wa
engaged in making an apron for her doll
IT believe I'll be duchess when l grow
up" elbow do you expect to become {
duchess, my daughter!" "Why, by marry
ing a Dutchman, to be sure?" replied tn
little girl.
''You have no ruins, no natural curios
tiles in this country" drawled Mr.. Osca
Wilde to Mrs. Senator Pendleton at re
ception. ''No," replied the quick-witte
lady, ''but our ruins will come 500
enough; and as to our curiosities, we i'm
port them"
''Do you think there is any danger i
my going to Blankville?" asks Brown
"they have the small poX there, they say.
GAS I never knew you to refrain frol
taking anything that came within you
reach" replied Fogg, ''I think you ha
better keep away from Blankville."
There was once a countryman VIII
drove his hogs long distance to marke
and being unable to sell them turne
about and drove them home again. On
of his neighbors said to him: ''You didn
make much by that trip of yours
town. n.'-''Wall, he replied, 'I dunn
bout that. 1 had the company of til
hogs both ways"
A STRONG ENDORsEMENT.-Al lady resi-
ing in Georgia, whose son was threatene
with consumption, wrote to several
our old patients, whose testimonials
favor of Compound Oxygen we had pu
lished, asking if these printed testimon
ais were true. Among them was t.
Arthur, the well-known author, who +
piled to her June 18th, 1880, as follows
MRS. NJ: In reply to your favor,
will say that the testimonial to which "
refer is genuine. From what have m
self experienced, and from what | kno
of the effect of Compound Oxygen in OF
ers, | am satisfied that this new remedy
one of remarkable curative power. Yo
son, think, can hardly fail to recei
benefit. Others as badly diseased, al
suffering for many years, have been cur
or greatly relieved by this treatment,
you will see by Drs. Starkey PaleI
Report of Cases, which l am well assur
are authentic" Our treatise on CO..
pound Oxygen, containing large repol
of cases and full information, sent fire
Drs. Starkey & Palen, ll09 and Ill
rard ST., Philadelphia, Pa