Smyrna times., 1882-02-15
WHOLE NO. 1889.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS

/ Inc woman who lnistook a vaccine ouiu
ior d toothpick is just now giving her
tongue rest. The vaccination took
Guteau has been treated verv consider
a'eiy. BY putting Oifthe hanging to a hot
month like JuAe, the transition will NOT
seem 50 sudden.
MI aud Mrs. Chadwick, each aged 1O2
years have sold their farm iu Walker
county Ga, and gone West to grew mn
with the country
NO is the coming..bo inquiries am
exchange, and the Pittsburg Tele0rqDh
replies: We guess it is the one who can
furnish the most vaccine.
A sleepy congregation shows that the
sexton has poor way of ventilating the
church or that the preacher has a poor
way of ventilating his ideas-or both
We would like to bet a few dollars that
when the north pole is discovered nv the
explorers, they will find that it is covered
all over with patent medicine advertise
ments and plug tobacco labsls.
Tho meanest man yet is the one who
sent his family to the country, hired an
experienced nurse, went out and caught
the smallpex'aRd then had it in his. own
house just to spite his next-door neiehbor.
Ladies who are so proud that they will
not appear in public without having spent
two hours working tablespoonful of
bandoline into their front hair have no
right to complain when people call them
stuck up.
The Scranton Republican is responsible
for the following A lady who didn't go
to church last Sunday, remarked that she
was sorry, because our minister ALWAYS
preached such good sermon but it was
too windy"
How often the fate of nations depend
on little things. Mollie Pitchers heroism
nerved the Revolutionary patriots on to
greater struggles but what would have
been our fate if there had been a mouse
under that cannon.
The fashion Of calling on new noighbors
in country towns within the first week
, after their arrival is being abandoned.
, Experience has proved that it is better to
, wait a month or so and find out whether
the new corners are chronic borrowers or
not.
Jenner long ago discovered that persons
, who milk cows never have the smallpox,
: but only mild form Of the disease called
5 cowpox. Dairymen should remember
, this and double their number of cows, for
there is no safety whatever in a pump
handle
An exchange says that Wilde's poems
/ are only fit to be read by ectatic milliners.
Every milliner should get a copy and
D turn to it every time they receive 800
: check for bonnet which cost thsm about
1915. At such times they are apt to be
ecstatic if ever.
Dime sOciables are popular in rural
Massachusetts. A lot of people call ON
the minister; each leaves a dime uuder
I the family Bible; supper is then served,
and after eating about fifty cents worth of
refreshments apiece they go home and
sleep the sleep of the just.
People who take trains at the new
, Broed-street station have to pass through
;. very narrow gates, where they show their
, tickets, and not infrequently big crowd
8 and crush is the result This is no doubt
y necessary to prevent mistakes, but it is
, mighty rough on freshly-vaccinated arms.
t A youth in Raleigh, N. c., who had
y invited young lady.to attend public
5 entertainment, employed two colored
4 men to clean a dozen street crossings be-
1 tween her house and the hall, that she
n might walk dry shod. 1t had very
n chivalric look, ard was a good deal cheap
1 er than hiring a cab.
4 Philadelphia man writes to the Ledger
. that during recent warm spell the spar
rows began to twittsr around some rub
. bish which he had thrown cut and act as
if getting ready to build their nests. He
wants to know if this does not prove that
instinct is not infallible and if birds are
not often fooled by warm weather, no
matter what month it comes in. The
Ledger gives up the conundrum, but we
don't The birds were not fooled by the
sunshine, but by the rubbish. They
thought house cleaning had commenced.
and that therefore, it must be spring.
Much serious sickness and suffering
might be prevented by promptly correct
ing those slight arrangements that, other
t wise, often develop into settled disease.
r When cold or other cause checks the
operation of the secretive organs, their
natural healthy action should be restored,
and inflammatory material removed from
, the system. Ayers Pills accomplish this
, quickly, safely and surely.
The Rev. Mr.. Milne, the successor of
Robert Collysr in the pastorate of the
First Unitarian Church of Chicago, is
asked to resign on account of his disbelief
in the existence of the Deity and the per-
sonal immortality of the soul. The con-
OreOation cannot he accused of bipotry in