Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-09-14
SPICE AND AllSPlCE.

EoYrTrAS war song-The Camels are
Coming.
THE best thing to take before singing
breath.
WHEN is a woman not woman P
When q little cross.
Our annual quotation from Josh Bill
Engs: "Darn HI"
A MOONLIGHT engagement in
Egypt. How romantic!
DANCING may improve your carriage
somewhat, but it's no valuable accom-
plishment for the horse. -Burdette.
A LITTLE fellow asked his mother if
silks grew. He had probably heard Of
the gros grain silk.-P .iladelphia But-
tetin.
A KENTUCKY editor is in dilemma.
1t is not how to dispose of his edition,
but whether the profits on the sale OF his
old exchanges will pay for the next Is
sue.
Four brothers named Burnett recently
married four sisters named Berry.
This happened in Tennessee, where tho
berry crop Is unusually choice and plen-
tiful.
WHY ought wicked people to 60 car
riage driving often ? Because it fire.
auently admoHishes them them to
"keep to the right. Philadelphia
| Item.
AMERICAN compositors are not the
only ones who make mistakes. The
London Telegraph reports Mr.. Glad
stone as saying that ne had "sat at
the feet of the Game bird of Brming-
ham," instead of the Gamsliel Of Bir-
mingham.
A NEW YORK man says he keeps chops
aud steaks for several days in the hottest
weather by burying them in meal.
Meal is a good thing in any weather for
steaks and chops. We more particular
ly refer just now to the morning NEAL
Ddnbury NeUS.
A LITTLE lady of two and half years
had picked up cane in the corner was
playing with it-a plain stick bent at the
end. Papa asked. "Wbat are you do
ing with the csne?" at isn't q cane"
"What is it, then?" "It's an umbrella
without any clothes on it,.
"WHAr will do with my heus if they
do not lay?" Let them get into your
neighbor's garden among the vegetables.
II they do not lay, the neighbor will
probably lay for them. The only trouble
about this method is the hens are laid
out so soon.-Teras S,ftinqS.
Two little girls were playing with
kitten, when Ella inquired: How is
yonr little girl to-day?" "Sbe's sick
wif scarlet fever" replied Lulu.
whats her name?' Lulu hesitated
a moment and then said: lone day 1
put some camphor on her nose and it
stiuged so dat call her Smarty."
"No, SIR" SAID DR.. Jalap, 81
wouldn't have that apple-tree cut down
for money" "But you never get any
fruit from il, argued Brown; "the boys
steal ali the apples before they are Ealf
ripe." That's Just it." replied the
doctor, with quiet smile; "that tree
stands me in good thousand every
season. "-Boston Transcript.
The ancient Greeks used to call the
COOK an archimagirus,' and his salary
was 81, 600 q year. And even now it
isn't at all certain that the ancient cooks
possessed the modern secret of frying
piece of liver SO that it curls up like a
sun-burpt shoe sole, and you can draw
blood in the middle and strike fire on the
edges of it.-Buytiagton Ha,ckeye.
"I'vE lost a patient, said doctor,
sitting down to q clearinghouse dinner
table, with frown on his face as dark
as a gunpowder poultice. am sorry
to hear i. Man or woman ?" asked one
of the boarders. "Man. "When did he
die ?" "Die! Hang him, he's not dead.
He stopped taking my medicine, got
well and ran away without paying the
bill. ."-Arkansas Traceter.
HUNDREDS of thousands Of men die
annually from strong drink.-Rdnsds
Proh,bitioRists. We never undertake
TO criticise any other editor, but we do
not believe that any man can die annu-
ally. Annually means every year, and
no man can die every year for any great
length of time, unless he has great deal
of practice aud experience.-TeraS Sttf-
ings.
A society reporter has mys-
teriously disappeared, and foul play Is
suspected, although il il possible tha
he Is hiding somewhere in the Rocky
Mountains, as he was well supplied with
railroad passes. His last article was an
account Of the marriage Of pork-pack-
er's daughter, in which report he used
the term "swell wedding" 1t came
out in the papers "swill wedding.
Philadelphia Ne,os.
The Louisville Courier has fallen into
q philosophical and poitioo-economicaI
mood with the following attempt to de-
fine pessimism and optimism: " A pes
simist ia one who takes the surplus kit
tens, Iust after they are born, and chioro-
forms them. The optimist is one who
let's the kittens grow up, to live :
vretched. starving life; to be tortured
continually by boys and other thought
less animals, and to be finally killed with
brickbats and left TO rot on the street"
PLANTATION philosophy: Remember,
youpg man, dat de bes' frien' yer's got
ON dis earth is better frien' ter himself
den he is ter you.--Pay no tenion ter
man by de boasts what he makes.
Thunder doan all de time tell OBJ comm
rair.-Dosn turn man outen de ranks
OBJ respectability kase he's coward. A
/, hound dog amt much ON de fight, but
, he's a mighty useful animal.-While
nature was foolin' away her time paint
in different colors an stripes on de
horns OBJ de jack-snsppers an udder
bugs, I doan see why she didn't con-
triye some easier way for chile to cut
teeth, ,"-Arkansaw Tdreicr.
> Soxs Of 'em are very like Cousin JOIN.
> Thrasher's man who told him be wanted
J to be doorkeeper, but Cousin John had
, promised TO vote for another Teller and
!. 40 to get rid OF him he says: why.
/ jim, did You ever keep door =
| "No," says he. Did you ever stndy
! q book ON Keeping door~ me
|. avs he. "Did you ever zee anybody
4 Keen : door - s i never did" ssys he.
"Well, did you ever attend lectures IN
1 Augusta or anywhere ON bow 70 keep Q
& door Z" "Of course nots" says be.
> "Wsli, my dsar sir. You had bsessr .ec
: hsck hone and gs,yEs,'sE =, E yss,sssa - y ~