The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-10


 district attorney showed that there was a statute to that effect enacted in the time of Edward l. which had neves been re- pealed by parliament or legislature, and was consequently good law. Under such circumstances the court of course ruled in favor of the district attorney.
 The humogist was a sad man in court that day, but underneath his mask of ap- parent sorrow he was concocting a scheme which was big with fun, and was destined to explode the whole court room jury, prosecution, court and all--with bursts of laughter. On the second day the humorist appeared in court loaded down with all the ancient legal lore that could be found in the libraries and bor- rowed from his friends The sight was viewed with consternation by the court and jury. He addressed the court to the effect that if unrepcaled ancient pro- cedure was good law he had more of the same sort which he must offer in his own behalf, and which, of course, the court must rule as admissible or violate his precedent just laid down. He would, therefore, first claim the right to have the case decided by ordeal statute not ye, repealed by parliament or legislature, and therefore good law. Under this stat ute he could offer to establish his inno- cenee of any libel in pioturing MT. Firch pendant from the gallows tree by putting his arm in boiling oil or walking barefoot over red hot plowshares. but inasmuch as he had a method of showing his inno- cence. which was superior 10 the '-or- deal" he would not insist upon the latter, but would introduce the wager of bat tler-a statute not vel repealed by par liamen, or legislature, and consequently as good law as the stand aside, and equally ancient. Thereupon the humor- si produced his authorities and an- nouneed his programme as follows:
 The judges and clergy are 10 assemble on a gwen day. and before them the ae- eused person must fling down his glove same with his body. The perseou,or wip then pick ii up and announce his readi- ness 10 make good the appeal. body for body. Then both men will bring out their battle axes or lavelins, and. kneel- ing before the judge, wilt make oath that the weapons have not been charmed by witchcraf, etc. This done each IS 10 grasp his ax in the right hand. and the Jeff hand of the other Tn his left. The ac- eused person to say: Hear this. . man. who callest myself John Flrch by the name of baptism. that l, who call myself Frank Weiss by the name of baptism. did not libel you, so help me God and all the saints To which the accuser will reply Hear me, 0 man, whom hold by the hand, and who calles, myself Frank Weiss, by the name of baptism. that do hold thee perjured, and this l will prove with my body. so help me God and all the saints" 4, a signal from Judge Galbraith the men will come out of their corners and go for each other. and his cause shall be deemed just who sue eeeds Tn eaFssag up the other before the going down of the sun.
 It added to the grotesqueness of the situation that the humorisi is little man weighing less than 100 pounds and suffer ing from asthma, while the man, who ealles, myself John Fireh." IS muscular christian weighing over 700. and that the humorist conducted himself and made the plea as solemnly as if he were de fendan, in the days of Edward l. instead of Arthur. Such an explosion occurred as was never before heard in a court room, and a, las, accounts the case had been completely laughed of the docket. Neither court nor Juy could restrain their risibles when they looked upon the sad and solemn defendant. This was humor put to good account in the last place where joke is usually allowed. The melancholy Mir. Weiss ought to travel and give us further illustrations of his hu- morous ability.