The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-01-24
Ellie PERKINS.
The Great American Prevarioator
Calls at the Bazoo Office and
Tells What He Knows
About Alligators.

About hall past ten Yesterday morning
a gentleman known I'm two hemi>phcr,.,
obUruied himself i'm y quir, manner int,
the BaL.'o office, pleasantly greeted the
W. Ive-, wolverines aIii smaller animals
cOngrcgai,i their. and inquired II q copy
III III, chicago Trihun' Wa anIung the
BAADO- rxch.n sr- IA. vi. a middle.
sized individual. dr,-s.-i principally IN an
"y,rcOat With an immeu-,. iur collar. ILL.,.
wasn't an advance agent ior 4 minstrel
company, or sn opera pCreus ,,RriaI
| agent. He ~, only = professional jnk,r
travelling through the c"untr, on l,ctur
lag tour, and - he approached the ,,ii
torial table Eli Pcrkin, stood confessed
| Iii hH, lest nonr of that charming i'm
gality with regard ." TIA. truth which
charac,rril.- him. H.. had ju,r came in
| from ~. Ioui- having lately reached thai
| city is"m Texas. lie had much 10 ,ay
about hiS travels IN that part oi the vine
yard, and told MANY incidents al hi, wan
behring's there, l-'Cotning positively penuri-
ou, IN Respect of conformity to lar, snd
reality a. he progressed.
Il sav a woman pc,iilin. boiled egg. ou
tram down in Texas, said Eli. 'ssh,
sold them Tor twelve cent, \ iIz-n. ami
when 49, got 10 stJtion -iIe rot off and
bought ~" Tor hrrs,l !: at the lunch. stand
and paId i've cent, apiece. for them. She.
had sold all her o~u. Kind oi funny,
wasn't III"
Ics. IL vss
Il rc"lIec, how things u-.i 10 h. On ,h,
~. Louis and san Francisco railroad"
Iii continued Il wa- through Their. when
the r"ad couldn't buy wood enough Ia run
train, with. | remember i train Wi. ON
s;opI I'll nj 4 ."oi pile AMI tia. Truman vas
about ,o commence tl!irg up his tender
with incl. when the owner al the wo.d
came out with revolver ia csrh hand AMI
-ald ne would shoot the first man that
laid his hands On the wu.-i. unI,.~, his nav
va --cur-i. He ~vul,lI.i take th.. com
pany lor II, bni -iid that ii the conductor
would give him hi, personal note thew
could go To- work aui nil up. The con
duct"r at down on "a lump aud wrote out
ih'. note, the tender a, filled iuii III wood
AMI the train prpret,,i,si cam. over
tina, r"a': the other day nu my nav 10 ST.
Louis. sE-i ! couldn't help noticing ,h-
difference. The paw car Vas bitches! ON
the hind rEi OF the train, -tOpI--d at every
station paid I'll the men. liz uut. ana ar.
rived IN ~. Louis ON TIM. Thi, show
what we've d"uc in railroads iu thu. las,
seven wears"
How many stations did they stop at
Il can'I tell. \ g""i many, though"
Hos many meu did th,y hay,. To- paw :"
"Dh, sometimes the car ~, crowded
That may sound iitt!, curiru, % Won.
but tell you they do things IN hurry
nov -a-,iays. They paii every a,au On th,. |
line. l was ,her,, aU-i kuO~ 1t -
Tina, -c,ji.i H.
Eli Sl>n favored til. RAz.rp fprc,. With /.
his ideas III ,-iiting n newspaper
Don't work >0 hari. >eirc; and Gull /
your matter from oth"r pai.r-. Tax, thu |
-iiIuriSi an soue bright PAPER. rrai IL /
over, pick cut the l,'-t bart. take the whr:,, /
ind let the Chaf gn. Let others have the
hat! -you sake the wheat Iou NAV run
t"vu I'll sriirIc t!ii Won strike til. middle
S'lDrc You unI whti yuG want. Take
'uuT >-'iS-nrs, snip II ont, never uaure thsu
~ inche- long. Fill vuur paper up with
his klni Ol stuff. and yru will have bet
er paI.r thsn II Won wrote all Your edit
"rial originally. |; take more brains
{" select than l, doe- tn write YOUR mat
er. ] knr~ young editor over ia Kan
IA. Tor instance. The old man. the pro-
'rietnr ri The psp~r, went la Washing
On City nn business. and left the
Dung one IN chzre- Now. this young
elbow couldn't write line. He g,.s, To-
sork AMI ne get, paper pujIish,,i AVIAN
~ east which a., always full ui bright
dit..rsl. He COMMENCED tn clip AMI ill |
IA Everybody said the paper ss, better
han Al sai ever been before. The old
a 4
months. AMI the young man went OH
nth his clipping. Tn, old msu nnticeti
AMI wrote, q" on. nay bay. You az doing
pieniiily I'll keep away from the q
ape. al,ocrsh-r, ii Won ~iIl keep this !
Iing up Anil h. did, aud there i~u'i -
Fighter paper IN Kansas to-day q
This IL ali very we'll. fli, but the BAzoo
Ill conl;nur to furnish original editorials e
~ litAl- white yet"
When Eli fopp-l onr leg over the other. II
III his fingers and thumbs Together. and
gan HI, alligator story, ne NAV be said to Il
ave SURPASSED himself. Like thu Higgins =
DRY. the alligator st0ry har an introiuc-
on, and consists If = general homiIy ON n
IL not weather an southern TvI,s
Il tell yJu NJ il ut doSn Their. IN Texas. n
egniar mid-auGinsr ~,Ither right ao~. =
on Uught u -es the siii-,atIr. thousand, d
them, along the rivers Sni bsyou,. 4 "a
lend vi miDe dom there hs, 90, sort of
ligst"r farm lie rsuss any nuu,ter nj v
en-" 81
What doe- be- dp With them :"
"Oh. hc sells EN- o. shows snd one thing
'cther. They mske nice PIT, You So. o.
ere isn't one alligator I'm = Thousand that
itche- NOR thsu QUE Egg at time, even T.
sh- iays a hundred. Tia. reason I, that nj
alligator has s"nse enough l" lay her
O. right Thi, friend ut mine puts them r.
the sand and cover. them ~ith q n
.nkst over night. AMI he never lo-.-.
,s!- on.. He'll hsich hundred "a, Que ct
~ this ~ay lie haicbr< hem e,.-, the 1
me- Wy, IN the sand III. had an old To
II, sn'i he thought he'd try hrr IN few
igator's eggs She 49, s.,ting sruund,
4 -eernci determined to -; on some
lne, sni he concluded Ina; he bad ar
,k.. - AZ. l. -