davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
An off Hand Way to Measure an Acre,

An of Hand Way to Measure an Acre.
Few farmers know the size of their
fields or how many acres they contain.
A field Of the writer before it came in.
to his possession, had been plowed and
reaped by contract for fifteen acres. On
measuring it, it was found to have but
twelve acres. 1t is desirable, in fact, in
dispensable for good work, that farm
or should know how many acres each
field contains, for otherwise he cannot
app0rtiOn seed or manure for it, nor can
he tell how much time it should require
to be plowed. A measuring cord should
be part Of the furniture on every farm.
To make one, procure sixty-seven feet
of strong rope, one inch around; make
loop or fasten ring or bar at each
end, and make these precisely sixty-six
feet apart. This is four rods. Then tie
piece Of red rag in the center. One
acre of ground viii be a piece four of
the cords (chains) long and two and
one-haf wide, equal to sixteen by ten
rods, making one hundred and sixty
square rods to one acre, The advant-
age Of the ring or loop Is that one per-
son can measure alone by driving stake
IN the ground to hold the rope while he
stretches it out. The rope should be
soaked in tar and dried, which will pre-
vent 1t from shrinking when wet.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
Minute Workmanship,

The Salem, Mass, museum has in its
possession q cherry-stone containing
one dozen silver spoons. The stone IS
OF the ordinary size, the spoons being 20
small that their shape and finish can be
distinguished only by the microscope.
This is the result Of immense labor Tor
no decidedly useful purpose, and there
are numbers of other objects in exist
ence the value of which may be said to
be quite as Indifferent. Thus, DR.. Oil
YER gives an account of cherry-stone
on which was carved 124 heads, 50 dis
tinctly that the naked eye could distin-
guish those belonging to popes and
kings by their mitres and crowns. A
Nuremberg cl0ck-maker inclosed in .
cherry-stone, which was exhibited 1t the
French Crystal Palace, plan Of Sebas-
topol, railway station, and the ..Mes-
siah'' Of Klopstock. Pliny, too, men,
tions the fact that Homer ..Iliad, !" with
its $1,000 verses, was written in so small
= space as to be contained in anut shell.
The greatest curiosity of all, however,
was copy Of the Bible, written by one
Peter Bales, chancery clerk, in 80
small space that it could be inclosed
within the shell of an English walnut.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
Her Grief.

Her Grief.
There are various sorts of grief, and
not only does it express itself in yari-
ETY. of ways, but lasts-well, with some
people longer than with others. You
cannot always prophesy from the tor
rent of funeral tears that there will new
er again be wedding smiles. Mr. Die
dric Van Prouk was put, in professional
parlance, ''under board" and every
body said that the widow, in spite of her
youth and beauty, would not last long.
Her grief was of the Niagara sort and
flowed prodigally and endlessly. She
even had her departed carved in wood,
life size, and spent many months in its
mute companionship. At last, however,
the fated successor arrived. The irresis-
tible c0nqneror made his plea and was
accepted. One morning when the serv-
ant announced that there was no kind
ling wood in the house, the widow
quietly remarked in sweetly broken
English, Maybe it ish well enough now
to split up old Van Prouk vat ISL up
stair"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
WHOLE NUMBER 23l
Home Of His Business.

What I was gwine to remark be-
gan Bro. Gardner, as he took IN undis-
solved tr0che from his mouth and placed
it on corner Of his desk, s.was 70 dc
effect dat it am none Of our bizness what
our nayburs do. onless day frow stones
at our dog or toss DER oyster-cans ober
our fences One great cause Of 20 much
unhappiness arises from de tack datsar-
tin people wantto know all about sartin
odder people. Frinstance, Deacon Tur-
ner's wife runs ober to my house an,
tells my wife dat Elder Dorker's wife
has got . new bonnet dat neber cost less
dan $12. De Elder am workin' on q
straight salary of % per week, an he
has wife an TO- chill EN-. How Kin he
save up $12 on SIGH . salary q datp
How did his wife git dat bonnet An
what cheek fur poo woman who can't
set table for seben nor ride on de street
kyar once . week to fam ont in dat
manner! De wimin sot dar' an talk an
wonder an git mad an want ter pull
ha'r. an I slip out an 60 to puflin'
weeds in de garden. It's nobodyes biz
ness how she got dat bonnet, an Wit
some folks feel sick bekase dey can't
find out.
my ole woman goes down town to
buy three towels wild red bo'der, .
spool OF No. GO white thread, an half
yard of linen to make me some cuffs.
She am as pleasant as June mawnin'
when she starts out, but when she re-
turns dar am hull cyclone in her left
eye. She pens me up. in c0'ner an
demands to know how de gals who stan
behind de sto' counters fur three. Ia,
an five dollars week kin pay bod IN,
washin' and dress in silks and satins. I
can't tell, an de less know bout it de
madden she gifts; an bime-by dar Gums
. climax an somebody gifts hurt. II .
gal kin make TO- dollars week 20 fur
der dan kin make twenty, OATS none
o. my bizness or yo' bizness.
ode odder day my ole woman cum
home from ledge Blanks an said dat
de Jedge's hired gal had gin 'em notice.
dat she was about to 60 to de kentry on
her annual six weeks vacation. Mrs.
Gardner was hoppin' mad, but I was as
cool as . red-hot crowbar. Why
shouldn't hired gal want to 20 to de
kentry an have rest from breakin'
SAAoASS Wu ~AlVA4u tAuW6I 8(OU4 U0
kitchen? Itimproves her complexshun.
braces up her form, shapes her feet, an
often results in her marryin' . million
aire. If de ledge an his family can'>
afford to 60, OATS muffin to do Wild de
servant.
':Mrs. Kernul Dash was akin my ole
woman only las mite if she couldn't
hunt her up seamstress who'd be kind
an obleegin' 'nuff to do few days.
work at twelve shillin's q day. She
won't git one. Dis am de season when
de poo, overworked an half paid seam
stress packs her trunk, draws her mon
ey from de bank, an HES tode seashore
to secure de benefits of de ozone an
saltwater bathin'. AFTER dey reach
Long Branch it am hard to tell one OF
'em from de wife of banker or broker,
but OATS none of our bizness. Let yer
naybur save, squander, keep sober, git
drunk, war good cloze or ole cloze its
muffin. to you. Let us now extricate
ourselves upon de regular order of biz
ness. ~ Detroit Free Press.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
Representative Bakers Joke,

Hon. Lewis Barker, well-known as
one of the best public speakers and wits
in Maine, was member of the Legis-
lature. OF course, he was conspicuous,
so too was his large black shaggy dog.
One day when 'sLew'' was addressing
the House, in the midst of very excit-
ing debate (he was well under way pour
ing forth his smooth flowing but impas-
stoned sentences. the dog also rose in
the middle of the House. and looking
towards the Speaker, commenced Wig
orous bow-wowing in his big voice, COM
pletely drowning the silvery tones ofllis
master.
.'Lew'' stopped, and called out to his
dog: ''Down, sir! down! I have the
floor. 1t is against the rules for more
than one Barker to address the House
at one time.''
The dog yielded the floor, and, of
course, there was tremendous laughter.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09

A Boston newspaper man, who writes
as it he was narrating bit of personal
experience, says: IF man wants to
enjoy all the rigors of an Arctic expedi-
ton this summer, all he has to do is to
put on his buster and an old soft felt
hat, and just drop in on neighbor in .
jolly, informal sort of style, Just as tea
is announced, when the neighbor has
very select company invited. He won't
get warm until some time along in Au-
gust"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
Olandestine Correspondence.

Olandestine Correspondence.
One Of the surest roads to ruin trod-
den by young girls is the pernicious
custom OF indulging in clandestine cor
respondence with any handsome scamp
who lies in wait for them. Saturday
is red letter day with these clandes-
tine correspondents, many of whom are
school girls whose parents never dream
that their children are following in the
footsteps of 50 many girls who have been
taught the art of deception and disl0yal-
ty by their love Of what they call adven-
ture. The writer of this article once
stood near the ladies' delivery window
in city post-office and watched these
girls as they came in and went. 1t was
very easy to distinguish those that came
to the Office for a legitimate purpose.
One young lady. approached the deliv-
cry window and inquired for letter in
. manner which seemed to indicate
that she didn't care whether she got
one or not. She was good looking, but
there was restless, uneasy look about
her face, and scarcely needing the de-
livery clerks reply to her question, she
glanced furtively about the post-ofice.
Suddenly . young man entered the Of
flee, and with her soul in her eyes she
met him, and held . hurried converse
ton, the Last words Of which were: ITO
morrow evening in the usual place. -
Lots Of women call regularly at this
Office who have never received letter
in their lives" said the post-oflice
official, .'and many Of them don't ex-
pect any letters. We have done ali
we could to get rid Of them, and Of these
young girls who come to get letters
from clandestine correspondence, but we
cannot. We do not deliver letters at
the general delivery addressed to ini-
tials, but scores Of them are received, :,
Then the official showed . long list Of
these letters which had been sent to the
dead letter Office.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
Queries in Regard to Extraordinary Pro
1nnfa "a

There must also be = limit to the de-
vel0pment of specialties for which cattle
are bred, as the capacity for quantity of
milk. quantity and quality of butter, and
also Of cheese. It may be question
whether the limit Of capacity has not
been already in some other directions
than in the production of beef. There
are some facts which seem to suggest
that it is possible that the limit of ex-
cellence in butter combined with guam
tity may have been reached in the Chan
mel Island cattle. The butter from these
cattle has long been distinguished for
its extraordinary quality and it's enor-
NOUS yields, but it has not been our OBJ
servation that the highest excellence has
appeared in the largest productions.
On the contrary, we have met with the
most delicious samples Of butter from
cows giving not more than ten to fifteen
pounds per week. Whenever the yield
has reached, or approximated, three
pounds per day, or much exceeded two
pounds, while it has kept up or increas-
ed in color and tirmness, it has often di.
minished in delicacy of flavor.
Since the flavor 1T butter varies with
the quality of food the cow consumes, it
is evident that it is derived from some
of the constituents of her food, that the
supply is limited, and that though bred
to the production of flavor, q cow can
not exceed in her milk the flavor the
constituents of her food can produce. II
such constituents are fully awaited Of,
the amount of flavor must, at best, be
very small, and when applied to small
quantity of butter must be more intense
than when applied, to a larger mass,
Butter is made up of different fats, hard.
soft, aud volatile. The softer ones
abound in flavor, and are most easily
appropriated, and predominant in mod
crate yields. Hard fats are hard to di-
gest. There is none more difficult for
the human system to cope with than
stearine, the hardest of them all.
Stearine gives stiffness TO butter-a quail
ity which merchants, for obvious rea-
sons, eulogize- but which, from its in.
sipidity and difficult digestion, is the
most undesirable food constituent but
ter contains. = National Live Stock Jour
2nl
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
A Society Episode.

30 you think should marry, old fellow,
:, And give up my bachelor Joys;
am q little bit mellow,
Though I'd pass In crowd of the boys.
Besides, have money in plenty,
And gold Is SOciety's King; IL
can rival q poor man Of twenty
With my carriage aud solitaire ring.
Now, to surprise you, dear Charley,
I've decided to slip on the chains;
You at least do not think It 10 folly,
And you, my dear fellow, have brains,
j asked her the question hH letter
you know that's the style in the East:
1t is four weeks to day that met her
Z (My counting was youthful at least.)
Do love her? Well, not to distraction
Small Sentiments not In my line;
With two millions clear and fraction,
Any girl I should AJAX would be mine.
And this one 10 poor; there's the folly:
But she's lovely, and bright as the day;
And to whisper It softly, dear Charley,
0h slightly rheumatic and gray.
= *ssis
"A letter, with seal OF sweet Cupid!
Her acceptance, sans d0ubte, let us see.
Refused! How perfectly stupid!
And you knew all the time Of the mitten3
Engaged to you, sir, did you say2
Any blind man could see you were 1lnitten,
But you've only ieutenant's paysg
[H. H., in Cincinnati eomnescisi 81
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09
dMeckly &cui<au.
p1,RLIsnED EVERY WEDNESDAY BY
JOS. BOBLET'ER.
Once over City Drug Store.
TERMS:
One Dollar and half per year in
advance.

Rates Of Advortising
FURNISHED UPON APPLICATION.
A advertisements in double column, double the
single column rates. .. ,
BUSINESS Cards of Ave lines, one year $500, each
addi iOnal line Is cts.
All transient advertisements to be paid for In
advance.
advertisements inserted in the local notice col.
umns, ten cts line for the hrst ihsertlon ana
cents line for each subsequent insertions; but no
notice inserted for less than SO cts
Announcements OF marriages and deaths insert:
ell free; but obituary notices, except IN spec,al
cnsrs will be charged IT ad v.r:.ains rates.
Legal notices viii be cha rged Is cts per folio Tor
the first Insertion, and % cts per folio for each
smhsennent in sertion. All legal notices must be
nnon the re sponsbity of the attorney ordering
them pubiis ed and no affidavit of pubiication Will
he given unit the publication fees are paid.
In romnpption with the paper, We have splen.
dih cou"l tment of johbing material, and we are
prepared execute AL kinds Of printing in astyle
UNSURPASSED and ut moderate rates.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-08-09

A New York policeman who dubbed
9 pedestrian sixteen years ago wss not
forgotten. The two met in Oregon the
other day. and this time the tables were
turned and the policeman was left for
dead. 49,, is
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
EDALIA WEEKLY BAZOO, TUESDAY, JUNE g. 1882.

of the coarse, cheap machine oil here
tofore used to anoint the bride, a re-
cent order of the apostles has substi-
tuted a good, fair average brand of
oleomargarine.
The polygamous matrimonial mar.
ket this spring opens up with good
trade in choice imported proselytes
and native Mormon elders. Glasses
B and & native or half.breed brides,
vintage of 1910 and 1915. are slow,
with few bidders. Last seasons ship
ments of selected female convicts from
the old countries are finding slow mar
ket except in few cases of young and
uncontaminated girls who we're par
doned out. Utah preferred at the
ages of Is to "a, warranted all wool
and yard wide, with guaranteed IT,
tie, are much sought after.
1t is the general impression that
the polygamOus trade is opening up
very briskly this season and the pros
pect is that MANY who have been COM
PEELED to grope blindly along the path
way of monOtonous and wearisOme
monogamy will be brought into the
effulgent glare of enlightened poly
gamy.-Bill Nye.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

to write of the old Texas veterans and
We alluded to them as battle-scarred
heroes. 1t was printed as "badly-
scared heroes" and when we said
that Gov. Roberts was above influence
by a bride, the prin ter got it that
he was ''above being influenced by
the bible" which would 90 to prove
that occasionally the printer is in
spired.
The printer is one of the indispens-
able adjuncts of civilization and pro-
gre.s, and in the United States, from
the ranks of the army of printers,
have risen more brilliant men in
literature. and a greater number of
statesmen, whose names will be set up
in large type in history's pages, than
have risen from the ranks of any
other trade, calling or profession.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
SILENCE is GOLDEN.

We walked among the woods in spring.
When earth was fair to see,
With bluebell and with cherry bloom
And white anemone.
Then one of us, / think, forgot
The truth so often told
That speech is only silver, dear,
But silence often gold.
You talk to me of tint and tone,
OF subtle green and gray;
OF light and shade and CLINT and CLEAN,
And sun beams tender play.
Ysu made me strain my ears to hear
Each tinkling phrase unfold;
Your speech maybe was silver-gilt-
But yet it was not gold.
All me you thought me savage then.
A Philistinic boy:
! knew full we'll, that sweet spring day
You robbed me of my Joy.
The false, aesthetic brass, tits true,
Your purse could never hold;
Would it had held less silver, then,
And greater store of gold.
The eyes to see, the ears to hear,
The every sight and sound;
Blu, speak not, for the place wherein
You stand is holy ground,
Yes, look and think, if think you can.
But leave the thought untold;
For speech is only silver, dear,
But silence purest gold.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
The Endowment Robe.

The spring style of endowment robe
will be very much the same as it has
been in former years. 1t will consist
of a loose polygamous garment On the
style of the chemiloon, uniting an en-.
tire suit of Undertaking in one gar
ment and at greatly reduced prices.
At the bottom of the legs and at the
end of the sleeves the same style Of
Greek pickering string tied with half
hitch still prevails. There may be
perhaps slight movement toward q
more pronounced tullness at the waist,
a Ia Queen Anne gunnysack, but other
wise the shape will not be materially
changed this spring.
There is a beautiful and poetic con.
tour noticeable in the endowmen,
robe, more particularly when hanging
on a clothesline on a breezy day. Art
lists and poets have many times been
struck with the gazelle-like delicacy
of outline. As the breeze springs uE
from the south, it gently fills the pc
culiar garment and gives to it the ap
pearance of a poisoned dog.
The holy oil of the endowment house
will be changed this spring. with other
movements toward reform, and instead
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
Nervous Debility-A Cure 9uaran-
fAAd

DR.. E. c. Vests Nerve and Brain treatment;
specific for Hystera, Dizziness Con vulsions Nervou
Headache, Mental Depression, Loss OF Memory
SpermatorrhOea, Impoteney, Involuntary Emif
sions, Premature Old Age, caused by Over-exertion
self-abuse, or over-indulgeuce, which leads t.
misery, decay and death. One box will cure recen
cases. Each box contains one months treatment
One dollar a box or six boxes for five dollars sen
by mail prepaid on receipt of price. We guarantee
six boxes to cure any case. With each order re
eeived by us for six boxes, accompanied with hv
dollars, We will send the purchaser eur writer
guarantee TO return the money IL the treatment doe
not effect a cure. Guarantees issued only by Aus
T. Fleischman, druggist, Sedalia Mo. Orders
mail at regular price. 9-22dSvlvr
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
Missing People.

We are highly civilized people, of
course, but statistics prove that in a
single week fifteen men and three
women can be lost out of the life of
the city of New York and leave no
trace of their identity, while in the
same time six women and two men
can "mysteriousIy disappear and
leave no one to concern himself as to
their fate. Here is death rate of
almost four per day unaccounted for
by the police and physicians of the
great metropolis.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
Fine Twins.

The twins who were born into the
Chaplin family, of Gilbert's mills, seven
months ago, and who were named
Garfield and Arthurby the neighbor's,
in spite of the fact that their parents
had chosen two very different names
for them, are so exactly alike that a
ribbon around the neck Of young
Arthur is absolutely essential to dis
tinguish them. This assertion is made
in the most positive manner by Their
mother, who certainly ought to be an
expert on the subject.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
Cardinal Points to Remember

That Acker's Blood Elixir is a SPECIFIC
remedy for neuralgia, rheumatism, malar-
ions and other feyers. scrofulous tendencies
and all forms of blood poisoning. 1t puri-
fes the system. rouses and develops the
nervous energies, enriches the blood, pro-
notes appetite, dispels languor, and re-
stores the body to robust health. Sold by
Bard & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06
DON'T FORGET.
7 A Y 10 r.
COR. OHIO AND MAIN SITS.
=-45th=

POPULAR MONTHLY DRAWING OF THE
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-06

You will b disappointed ~ You uso
cheap Plasters, Liniments, Pads or Eee-
erical NASnetic toyA
: 1URR RRy1RNY A. I.1aT- P7;ce 96cf.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-02-18
Astoria Markets. .
RETAIL.

RETAIL.
FLoUR.--Supertine 81 IS; Extra S. 25
Corn Meal q cwt. IS 50; Buckwhcat y cwt
s5 90.
BuTTER-Choice roll. 80 to s7H cts. 2 b
CBEEsE.-Clatsop dairy 20@25c.
EoGs.-25 to 30 cts q dog. Chickens. 81 90.
FRESH MEATs.-Choice cuts. Lamb. i0c
Beef S9l0: Pork 10; Mutton Sgl0. By the
csrcase Sc.
AEATs.-Breakfast bacon l4h@l6 per b;
sides ls1z@I416c; hams l311a@lec; shoulders
lo9l2c; smoked beef l59l6asc: corned beet
sl09l2 = bbl.: corned pork IOc = ID.
BEANs.-Sx96 cts.
LARD.-In tins and caddies l89lsc 2 D..
HoNEY.-In frames 4Oc in glass 50c.
SSUGAR. -l1Sc alb We S F prices.
DRIED FRUrrs.-Blackberrie 25c: Prunes
l21z@l6c.
MILL FEED.-Bran SIS 90 z ton: choI
feed s2I025: Shorts s25927 so; Hay s2O@
s22 q ton.
0ATs.-According to quality. prices rang
| from 81 70 to 81 80 per cwt.
observation-disclosures 81 70 = 100 ms
| Onions 203c p %.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1882-02-18
san Francisco Quotations.
lRY MAIL AND TELEGRAPH.1

BY MAIL AND TELEGRAPH.l
WHEAr-No. |, s160 per Genital;
OATs-S1 5O@1 % p cti.
WooL-Oregon, Valley 28@3l cts.
b. Eastern Oregon, 20@26.
HIDEs-Heavy salted 1015c; light, do
9JI@1Oc; salted calf, 91l@1Oc.
FAMILY PRovIsIONs-Bacon 15G151s
cts: clear Oregon sides, 13@1315c; hams,
17@19 cts.
BARLEY-Coastf feed, 81 42@145p ctl.
Brewing 81 50@1 Go e ctl.
: EGGs-CalifOrnia, 26@2Sc 3 doz; Ore
gon, 22@23c 2 doz.
FLoUR-Oregon extra, S. 90; Super
fine, So 70.
BUTTER AND CHEEsE-Extra fancy
Butter, 80 cts, q ID; Fresh roll, good
to choice, 25@27Hcts,9 d. Cheese, 18
@2Oc.
SEEDs-Flax, 2@21lc q Ii; Canary,
$685. c: Alfalfa, 16@17c; Timothy, So
BHss Wool sacks, 44@5oc; potato
gunnies, l315@14c; standard grain nOm-
inai.
FRUITs-Dried apples. 51S@6 cts. 2 Ii
for qrs.; 51a@6 for sliced; Pears, S@l0c
PlumS. 5@6, pitted l3@15; Peaches, l1@
l3c; peeled, 17@20.
quotable at 81 80 3 doZ, lib tins on
rament0 81 20@1 25'
SU6AR-Refinery, terms net cash
Cube, barrels, 1115c; Crashed, 11Lc
Extra Powdered, barrels. 12c; Fine
Crushed. bbls., 11Ic; Dry Granulated
bbls., Ike; Extra Granulated, bbls
101Ec: Golden c. bbls., 91Sc; d, bbls. OF
g I Qa