Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-05-04
ALL SORTS.
A full band-Jack Falstaff's belt.

A two-foot rule-Keep oul feet dry.
Inc tailor knows how to get around
a customer.
The coming corn is serious move
ment on foot.
Cheap men and accordions are noisv
on all occasions.
Learning by rote-the man who ia
rotated out of an office.
When business is run down" il is
time to have it ''wound up"
A blacksmith is seldom arrested for
forgery, though he lives by it.
When is horse like business man
in trouble? When he breaks.
When is bonnet not bonnet?
When it becomes a pretty woman.
Pride is the consciousness of what
one is without contempt for Others.
Heres your ring" said the bell to
the belle, and the wedding went on.
Cunning pays no regard to virtue,
and is but the low mimic of wisdom.
Every absurdity has champion to
defend it-for error is always talka-
tive.
Never judge man by his clothes.
His tailor lay have suit against
him.
When respiration ceases our educa-
ton is finished. and mot a moment
sooner.
When is man like green goose.
berry? When woman makes a fool
of him.
An old lady wants to know what is
meant by ''mean time" Our watch
keeps it.
The first sure symptom of a mind of
health is rest of heart and pleasure felt
at home.
Friction matches may be described
as those made without the consent of
the old folks.
The "fours of habit" said the gamt-
Ter, softly, as he dealt himself all the
aces in the pack.
Philadelphia has an artist named
Sword. When eight years of age he
was only little bowie
Generally speaking, outside of the
legal fraternity there is not great deal
OF clothing to be found in law suit.
What kind Lof book might a man
wish his wife to resemble? An alma.
nae; for then he could get new one
every year.
No school is more necessary to chill.
dren than patience, because either the
will must be broken in childhood or the
heart in old age.
The grandest and strongest natures
are ever the calmest, but without ear.
nestness no one is ever great or does
really great things.
Mention the name of an object
which has two heads, one tail, four
legs on one side, and two on the other.
A lady on horseback.
People who are always taking care
OF their health are like misers who are
boarding treasures which they never
have spirit enough to enjoy.
The difference between a person in
his first childhood and his second child.
hood is this: In his first childhood he
cuts his teeth; in his second childhood
his teeth cut him.
John said Dean Ramsay, "Pm
sure We ken that a rollin' stone gathers
nae moss? aye" rejoined John,
that's true; but can ye tell me what
guild the moss does to the stones?"
Some one took Charlie up and asked
him if he was papa's boy. He
answered: "Yes.' "And your man.
mas boy, too?" EYES," replied Charlie.
wei, how can you lie paLa's boy and
mammals boy both at the same timer"
"Oh,'' replied Charlie, quite indiffe rent.
ly, cant wagon have two horses?"
The father of family examines his
watch with perplexity. 81 can't un-
derstand, my love-" he says to his wife,
"what's wrong with this watch. 1
suppose it wants to be cleaned" ooh,
no, pa" replies one of his olive branches,
sit can't be dirty, for baby and were
scrubbing it all morning in the bath
tub. with the hair brush, and we used
plenty of SOAP"
In getting out of a tram-car he hap
pened to stumble over the foot of a
young lady who was sitting next the
door. The damsel, COMPRISING her
brow into an awe-inspiring frown
CALCULATED: "You clumsy felloww
Many men would have looked foolish
and apologized, but this one was equal
to the occasion. "My dear young
lady," he exclaimed, 'you should have
feet large enough to be seen, and then
they wouldn't be trodden upon.''
The following story is told of dis
tinguished Edinburgh professor: De-
string to go to church one wet Sunday,
he hired cab. On reaching the church
door he rendered shilling, the legal
fare, to cabby, and was somewhat sur
prised to hear the cabman say, "Twa
shillin,, SIR" The professor, fixing his
eye upon the extortioner, demanded
why he charged two shillings, upon
which tbs cabman dryly answered,
eve wish to discourage travelling on
a hof NJ, Il