The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1882-03-11
TIE READY LETTER.WRITER.

The next sample letter in the series, is
one of coincidence to a polygamist who
has lost his wife. 1t should be in the
following style as nearly as possible,
changed of course, to suit the circum-
stances.
| No. l23 Chestnut street,
Boston, Mass, Feb. 2S, 1882.
William Naroloid Smith, ESQ.,, Apostle
of Zion, and Chief Defaulter of the
Tithing Rink, aa5
SALT LAKE CRY, Utah.
Reverend Sir:
1t is with the most profound sense Of
grief that l add,'}ss your APOSTLE Nibbs
vn this sorrow4ai Occasion.
learned by yesterdays mail of your
great affliction in the loss Of No. 10, Glass
d, in your affectionate harem. The
death angel has swooped down upon your
little household aggregation, and partially
bereft you of your wife. Where her
merry song was once heard throughout
the sunny hours, now the house is frac-
tionally quiet and measurably still. The
wheel is broken at the cistern and the
water pitcher has frozen up, and busted
on the second floor.
The glad smile that welcomed you ON
your return at evenings hallowed hour
has been reduced twenty per cent,
and the grocery, bill hollow mockery.
l do not know what it is to be partial
widow. The King Of Terrors has never
fractionally afflicted me, but can enter
your heart and see the bowling ruin that
has been made in your warm affections.
The grave has swallowed up in its i'm
penetrable darkness the only wife you
had who was strawberry blonde with
eyes like moss agate and full set of
natural teeth. She was the only peri OF
your home circle who could get through
the Winter without ground feed. She
was the only one of your vast wealth Of
wives who could milk the brindle COW
with the stumpy tail.
Death, however, is the lot of all man.
kind. We cannot live always, under the
present regulations. s. .s .a
We are born into the world without
our knowledge or consent, and we go
hence like man who fondles the wrong
end of mule.
Death is as certain as poll tax, and it
generally claims us as its own, just as we
get our debts paid and yearn for exist
ance.
Do not be cast down.. however. Cling
to hope through the storm Of afiliction,
and all will be well.
Remember that the wind is tempered
to the Texas steer that is just off the
trail. The violence of your fragmentary
bereavement will soon be past and the
keen edge of your sorrow will soon wear
away. E e#
| When the grave of No. 10 is green in
the valley and your great grief has meas
urably abated, you can rope in another
tenderfoot and be sealed to her for all
eternity. -...- "..a
| Now, to be sure, you are stricken, and
you feel as one who don't care whether
school keeps or not, but that will soon
pass away and the sun will once more
light up your pathway. When the en-
igrant train comes in some pleasant Sum
mer day, it will bring to you from the
old country a helpmeet who will far sur
pass and everlastingly lay over the home
made daughter of Zion. Then you will
rejoice that you still live, and your home
will once howl with mirth and music
You will bring her to your fireside tt
gladen your declining years, and the bal
ance of the harem will make it interest
ing for you.
In closing, l desire to express the hop'
that ere this letter has reached you, tn,
mighty torrent Of your first sorrow ha
abated, and that you are beginning t.
take your meals at regular intervals.
Give my love to your mourning house
hold when you have leisure and believ
me always your solid pard and comforte
in any event Of this kind which may oc
cur in your establishment.
Should smallpox or any other fata
disease get into ycur little aggregation Q
household curiosities and sweep off a ca
load or two, do not hesitate to draw O.
me for what genuine grief and sympath
you need to carry you through.
Yours to command,
IT. DE WIrr RRovNBREAD.