Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-08-04
# UN

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THE LATE LOUISIANA DUEL THAT
enterprising journal, Ieras Sittimgs, pub
fishes what he claims is correct state
ment of the recent New Orleans duel, from
which we extract the following interesting
details of the encounter:
Both fred and missed. The second of
Major Parker advanced and offered to con-
cede the personal courage of Major Burke
and that he was gentleman, but, at the
same time he maintained that in calling
him sa loathsome political tumor," in the
Picayu,.e, he had not transcribed the le-
Ultimate limits of journalistic ethics.
''Load 'em up again. said Burke.
Bang! Bang! Each combatant had
managed to perforate his opponent in pre-
cisely the same place he did with the pre-
vious shot, Major Parker's second again
advanced and express willingness to con-
cede that Maj or Burke was man of hon
or, provided that Major Burke would con-
cede that Major Parker was good shot,
and that he had not gone beyond the linn
its Of official criticism in calling Burke
ian unconvicted thief and a political
scab.''
'Load 'em up again. said Burke.
BangI bang! The seconds found that on
the third round their principals had hit
each other in the same old spot. After
this the proceedings became monotonous.
Each one expressed willingness to concede
the personal courage of the other, but
each coupled this concession with fresh
demands, until they got further apart
than ever, although they did not move
from their positions. Major Burke want
ed Major Parker to admit that his, Burke's
new coat was good fit in the back, which
Parker refused to admit unless Burke as
serted positively that Parker's pants did
not bag at the knees, which was asking
more, SO Burke said, than his status as a
gentleman permitted him to concede.-
Each wanted the other to concede that he
was the best pistol shot in the United
States, and they split on that, SO they kept
on firing.
At the nineteenth round an undertaken
created sensation by falling on Ills knees
before the duelists and begging them to
shoot better, SO that he could get a job;
that he had big family, and an overdue
note of hand to meet when he got home.
He was removed to a place of safety and
firing was resumed along the skirmish line.
Finally the undertaken fell asleep and the
seconds proclaimed an arMistice for half
an hour, to give the guns which had be-
come heated from rapid firing, chance
to cool. the principals were also warned
not to waste any ammunition as it was
getting scarce and might become exhaust
cd before the ammunition wagon got back
from the city with fresh supply. On the
return of the ammunition wagon HOSTILE
ties were resumed, and finally Major Burke
was wounded in the leg.
THE SEAT WAS ENGAGED.-"Are you
travelling alone?" asked tall. agricultu-
raj looking gentlemen. approaching a
lady who occupied two seats in a crowded
car.
"No, sir;''' she replied.
"May ask who's with your" asked the
man looking around vainly for some other
place to store himself.
my husband snapped the lady, with
flashing eyes. my husband is travelling
with me-"
s.Oh, ah! excuse me,' and the tall man
Strengthened up and prepared to take.
standing ride.
SIS this seat engaged" asked dashing
well dressed young fellow Of the lady, five
minutes later.
ssNo. sir,'' she replied, and down he
pumped.
81 say ma 'am!" protested the tall man,
sis that your husband?''
mo, it isn't. you needn't ask any more
questions, J" retorted the woman.
s.But you said you were travelling with
him, !" persisted the tall man.
$50 am,'' snorted the lady.
.sWhere is he.'' insisted the tall man.
Hes in the baggage car in a cotfin,"
replied the lady.
II beg your pardon, a'am." said the
tall man humbly; II honestly beg your
pardon. won't ask If he is dead, but
you'll excuse me for thinking that if you
and he have been married long, he's deuc-
ed smart to travel around screwed up in
box. if you are on the same trip and it
is likely to last long. "-Drake's Travellers
magazine.
The saddest consequences of great
mans death are the verses that are writ
ten to his memory.
Sleep ssknits up the raveled sleeve of
care but she let's the rn-out seat of
poyerty's pants take care of itself.
Trouble which to-day looks as big as a
milestone may ere to-morrow's shutdown
shrink to the sike of an ice cream saucer
a reason given why piano was not
saved at a fire was because none of the
iremen could play on it.
An egotist's story extends as far as the
I can reach.
The moon. like some men, is brightest
when it is full.
nCome right to the point" as the rod
said to the lightning.