The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-06-14
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
CAN'T coffin shop properly be called
4 bier saloon?

CAN'T a coffin shop properly be called
bier saloon?
By CONTRACTING disease you help Ia
spread it. Queer, isn't it?
II CAN'T account for it" exclaimed
the defaulting bank cashier.-Philadet-
phia Item.
SMOKING and chewing are two evils,
and ye who select the former chews the
less. - Courier-Jownal.
Foda says he never finishes Cigar but
he thinks, "Another temptation removed
from tho young men of America"
IT Is bad luck for thirteen persons to
sit down together at table, especially
if there is only dinner enough for ten.
The cat is the great American orin,a
donna. If bootjacks were bouquets,
her nine lives would be strewn with
roses.
"AND plat wud ye want SIGH man -
Pathrich for?" said Mrs. McGlope. eye
niver cud thrust him out yer sight, onliss
ye was wild him."
WHAT is called responsibility Is great
help to many men. Once they have at
tanned it, they can put in lie where 1t
will DO the most good.
AN Indian chief in Washington went
to see the Ideal Opera Company. When
NJ. w. Whitney gave particularly low
note the chief said: "Ughl him heap
dug out"
REST is said to be the solution Of many
puzzling perple1ities. II that's 80, we'd
like to solute puzzling perplexity about
three hundred and si1ty-fve times
year. -Courier-Jo,Tnal.
AN IRISH gentleman, hearing OF q
friend having stone coffin made for
himself, exclaimed: BE me sowl, an
that's q good idea! Shure, an stone
coffin 'ud last man his lifetime"
A PENNSYLVANIA boy recently swal-
lowed horseshoe nail without expert
encing any ill effects. If it had lodged
in his throat it would have made him .
little horse sure.-NoriSto,On Herald.
"Is THIS the front Of the Capitola"
asked q newly-arrived stranger Of an
Austin darkey. "No, sab; dis heah side
in front am do rear. Eff yer wants ter
see the front yer must 60 around dar
behind on de udder side. "-1eras Sift-
ings.
my SON." asked clerical parent Of
his hungry boy who was just in the
starvation period, II wish YOU would
make study of Watts on the Mind. '"
, ~ will, pa, was the quick answer, las
soon as 1 have studied what's on the
stomach"
CALCULATED to fill it: IT tell you,
continued Pingrey, "Brown isn't fit for
: the place. In fact, I don't know Of q
place that he is calculated to fill"
y Don't be Incorporate in your remarks
o Pingrey," said Fogg; "you forget hi
II stomach"
+ "YEs." said the injured party to thu
u owner Of the dog, ~ know the dog wa
>" only in play when he bit about half {
u ponnd of flesh out OF me. Certainly b,
- :, was only in play And I was only il
"a play when 1 took an aI and made hasl
e Of him. Only in play, sir. Nothing t
i get mad about J.
n "TELL your mother I'm coming to SO
" her." said lady to Mrs. Gibson Bige
q loves little boy, who replied: "I'n
@ glad you are coming. Mamma will b
t glad, too" GLOW do you know you
i. mother will be glad to see me?" aske,
" the lady. "Because I heard her tel
IS papa, yesterday, that nobody ever cam
) to the house except men with bills
e collect. Austin SDtings.
HIS exit. There had been seemir
GOODNESS between the lovers. One ds
Emily's schoolmate yentured to refer -.
the subject and asked her: when d
you see Charlie last?" "Two wee
ago tonight" "What was he doing
"Trying to get over the fence" I'D
he appear to be much agitated" ~
no greatly" returned Emily, "that it to-
to all the strength of papa's new bull-d'
to hold him.