Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-07-28
WIT AND IIUMOV.

lug wilson, The English bruisef. mss
cast gloom over the country by Announcing
bis intention of taking out NATURALIZATION M.
pers and becoming citizen Of the I;n,t.d
States.
A massachusetts, politician has so Door an
opinion OF q member of his city government
that he thinks him capable Of >knning the
city seal for cap next winter
Miss Fox, who sues Mr.. Low of New Or.
leans for breaking his promise 10 marry her
estimates the damage at 81. How iq tbatfor
Low
slch are born to succeed, not to fail.
This proverb was written bctcr, the DAYS of
bankruptcy laws.
Inc Boston 7rdpelier thinks that the toy
pistol is devils delight" and that it would
take good place in juvenile edition of
The Dance of Death"
A new view Of the Swedcs Of ma'rlmony
french newspaper says that married peo.
pie In Sweden have more fights than any.
where else on earth.
Ono OF the saddest results Of the Epvn,,an
trouble is the melancholy assortment of NINA
10 winch II has given birth, Thus: The
boss OF Egypt made Khedive for liberty"
ETC., etc.
Congress Is getting to he like tie poor-a.
ways with US.
Foreign dispatches state that 'the Young
nizan of I1ydrrabai, accompanied by the gai.
war OF Buroda, will visit England" From
winch we infer the adabuzam of Jaghlalg.
: wafoopah Will stay, home and keep house
with the rairaam of Mhlrw. Haukeye.
Young hopeful, aged six, who is showing
VISITOR his drawing-roow, Containing allcr.
Ell representations Of bird" and q "norsc,.
as indicated in words underneath the draw.
: lngs These are my worst drawings, Mr.
smith Mr. Smith "Indecd Tommy. and
where are your other oncs?" Young Hone.
change.
+" should like to know something about
: TINS Egyptian question, dad, said "a young
i New Haven midget at tea last evening
r hat are they firing at Alexandra for
because il is great Z" Yes, my child, sup
pos So And who is Arab Bey and Der
visch Pacha and lsmail--:" They are
all foreigners, my son. You can have nc
. possible interest in them. Eat your supper
{ and keep quiet" This is the way some par
!. ents have of Withholding information they
haven't got from their children. -NecHaren
. Register.
: One OF the best answers an intde ever re.
o ceiVed was made by an old lady TO whom
: be remarked that he didn't believe in God
he couldn't see. "Do you believe you have
any brains ~ she asked. "Of course" was
his reply. did you ever see them" The
s answer came family "No." Did any one
else ever see them and the controversy
came to sudden close CRicag1 Inter.
/ Ocean
v We might favor fight between Sullivan
1 and Tag Wilson on these conditions
g First, that it be conducted In the courtya ard
e OF sing Sing prison, with no spectators cx-
o cept the police the uniformed criminals and
l. the reporters Second, that it be fought to
"a the death" Third, that the victor be i'm.
! mediately confined to await trial for murder
Fourth, that he be hung. Mail and En-.
press.
u A new fashion in earrings copies the
6 styles worn by Cleopatra, who bit herset
k with an asp, and died before the war. When
W Cleo. dressed to ''mash" Antony she wore
pair of earrings which cost over half a mil
il lion of dollars. If this is the style now
/ introduced, more than one editors wife Will
" have to worry along another year without
II pair OF Cleopatra earrings. - Nor3ist0leE
If Herald.
y I
le and wash it clean. Then boil it iii it is brown
y on both sides. Pour in one bean. When
G. the bean begins to worry, prepare it to sim
rs lncr. III the soup will not simmer, it is too
q rich, and you must pour in more water
Dry the water with towel before you put it
in. The dryer the water, the sooner it will
" brown Serve hot Tire in N0rray
ar a new fashion in earrings copies the style
d worn by Cleopatra, who BIT herself with an
, asp and died before the wur.-E,
Behold the street corner statuary 1t tolls
not neither does it go on strike, yet Solo
mon, were he TO eat peck Of onioas could
10 not smell like one of these.-Oa Clty Biz.
"a card.
c The mummies are not surprised at the dis.
l. turoaEee in Egypt. They do not know what
II is all about, however, and in that Respect
;, they resemble number of fresher pcUps
II who do not claim to be mummies -Ne,o Or.
lie ledns Picayune.
1t A Chicago reporter recently discovered an
lie obstruction ON railroad and rushing back,
8 he stopped through express just in time to
. prevent terrible accident thus shocking his
IS paper out OF big item. He was immediate.
lie ly discharged. Philadelphia Meas
i. Mrs. Nouveau Richie Ito her husbandl-
d What sort of voice do you call that, Tom
k MIR. N RI heard EN- say as it was a bar.
ID rowtone, Maria. Mrs. n. r. with Contempt
IS So | should think and l should say the
lie wheel wanted greasn' badly Judy.
1t is said that Jesse James once thought
,e seriously of going through college" The
outlaw went through" nearly everything
else, and the reason he didn't go through col.
lie lege must have been because he couldn't see
It any money in it.-N0rristo,en Herald
e A debtor who was sued by his creditor &C.
:, knowledged that he had borrowed the money
~ but declared that the plaintiff knew at the
~ time that it was Kathleen Mavourneeu
a loan. "a Kathleen Mavourneen loan T" re.
=, peated the court with puzzled look
y That's 1t, judge one of the it may be for
u !. years and it may be forever sort. '-Brook
+ Ign Eagle.
/" The following anecdote is told about the
10 composer Joachim Raft, who has lust died
n Soon after Mcyerbeer's death, Raif, who then
lived in Paris wrote II funeral march in his
honor and went 10 Passy to play 1t before
Or Rossinl. then a resident in that suburb
Ii What do you think of it," asked the author
l. OF Rossni, who had remained silent after the
I'd other rose from the piano My dear fel
n low, replied the mGest'U, Sausticaly Il
" think it would have been much better if YOU
y had died and Meyerbeer had written some.
he thing for your interment.'
81 You do not deal dead blow 10 the Darwin
Is ian theory by saying Man descended from
lie the monkey, but what did the monkey des
he cend from 2" The monkey descended from
rs the tree.-Ne,o York Graphic.
The man who said knowledge is wealth"
- did not know what he was talking about
y MIR. Tug Wilson does not pretend 10 have
!, any education, yet he made more money in
~ Twelve minutes, the other night than any col.
Is leg professor could make in year.--Phila-