The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1882-02-02
THE BACHELORS CONFESS
SION.
BIZ HELEN FOREST GRAVES.

live in French fat. OF course there
are objections to French flats. So there
are to most things. | can't afford hotel
and detest boarding house. A bachelor
of 80 odd, who has been at the mercy Of
boarding-house keepers al. his day, can
easily understand that.
So, when I engaged suite Of rooms
third floor in a French flat edi1ee-and ar
ranged my household goods therein, with
a fine lookout over a green dotof park
in front, and the glimmer of a palisade far
in the rear above a forest Of Shipping, I
considered myself well off.
What is my profession? haven't any in
particular. [ am an artist and draw lit
tie; daily, in front of my easel, [ contrib
ute to the press, and write when the di-
vine atfiatus seizes me. I read law
when / feel like it, and draw a little in
come from a snug little property left me
by an uncle in India. Consequently was
able to decorate my new quarters very
prettily with Bagdad rugs, old China
dragons, black and gold japanese screens,
and pictures / had picked up at a bargain.
And when the fire was burning cheer
fully IN the CRATE, the first rainy May eve
ming, the student lamp shining softly ON
the red carved table, and the waiter from
a neighboring restaurant had brought in
my frugal dinner of a broiled bird, mold
Of currant jelly, slice of roast beef, and a
rasberry dumpIing, I considered myself
pretty comfortable.
Upon the WHOLE" says to myself, 81
ratherapprove of French tlats.'
rang the bell. The janitor-a respect
ful, decent sortof fellow, in q round jacket
and carpet slippers-answercd the sum-
mons. -
"Janitor," said l, "who occupies the
floor above?"
"Nobody, sir, the man answered. "Last
party moved out yesterday. New party
moves in tomorrow" -ss AL ~ n@
"A large famiIy?" said I, rather dubi-
ously. .
'fBless your heart, sir" said the man,
'no family at all-only a single lady,s ssir!s,
At this [ congratulated myself more and
more. sz=za.a, ~ -zqss a.sz
T shall have q prospect Of q little peace
now, | think" said L; and ate nE din
ner in FOOLS paradise Of happiness
The single lady moved III on $ssieFftor-
row. She must have moved in VIXEN sszas
down town selecting some new mill-boards
and color-tubes for the summer sketches
intended to make, for when [ returned,
fondly expecting to enter into my king
dom of peace and serenity, everything
was changed.
There was banging and pounding over
head, athumping and hammering-a sound
as if some middle-aged giantess in hob
nailed shoes was enjoying herself in a
promenade. [ sent for the janitor in
rage.
els the house coming DOWN." said I.
"It's the new tenant a-movin' in, sir"
said he, apologetically.
''Does her furniture consist entirely of
Herring's safes and square pianos % said T.
|'There is two pianos, sir" said he. ssShe
is musical.'
'"The deuce she is" roared I. ssTwo
pianos! And does she play on 'em both ?''
Dent know, sir, I'm sure said the.
man, with distressed expression Of coun-
tenance.
endured the noise until midnight, and
then sent up the janitor's wife. :.
"The third floors compliments to the
fourth floor, and would like to know if
this sort Of thing is to go on all night?"
Down came the woman again.
Fourth floors compliments to the third
floor, and wishes to know if he expects
people to get settled without making a
noise?"
Next day the piano only one, however,
commenced. was celebrating a skele-
ton for scientific essay, and it disturbed
me seriously. / endured it as long as I
possibly could, and then had recourse to
the janitor's wife.
'sThird floor compliments to the fourth
floor, and will feel obliged if she will favor
me with little peace and quietness long
enough to do some necessary writing"
There was no reply, and the music ceas-
ed abruptly. But that evening, when /
was beginning TO solace myself with lit
tie violin practice in the twilight, tap, tap,
tap came the janitor's Wifeat my door.
Fourth floors compliments 70 the third
floor, and will feel obliged If he will favor
her with a little peace and quietness, long.
enough5to write a letter.
How [ hated that woman So we lived
for month, exchanging constant missiles
of warfare. could cheerfully have Civ
en- up that miserable French fiat and gone.
back to boarding, only unluekily Ihad
engaged it for the year. The fourth floor
elocutionized, and had friends to select
private readings, whose voices were deep
er than Hamlet's and more sonorous than
that of Charlotte sCushman. She was
charitable and had classes of heavy-booted.
girls twice 4 week, to sing hymns and
learn 10 sew. 4 single lady, indeed! +
she had been a quadruple lady she could
not.haye made more noise, nor enjoyed the
making Of i more.
At the close Of the month, however, an
incident happened which turned the cur