Omaha daily bee., 1882-12-02
IMPIHTIES.

Frank James says that the Lord is his
shepherd. 1t will be remembered that
there are black sheep in every flock.
Not many Sundays ago the organist of q
New \ ork church played selections from
1.-THE Merry War;" which some of the con.
gregation recognized with indignation.
A clerk Of an em~inently respectable
house, the head of which is o deacon, was
instructed to prepare an advertisement and
have Il inserted in the papers. He pre-.
pared one which read: 'The pot scooped!
We hold four aces to the bob.tail flush of
any other house in town on fine table
cloths.
A Hartford clergyman, the Rev. M. D.
Buell., has been preaching against the evils
of cigarette smoking. He took for his
text the passage, "Behoid how great a
matter q little fire kindleth," and, to Illus
trate his discourse, exhibited and disssected
q mammoth cigarette.
There are some mean men in this world.
One Of them got into the house of o clergy.
man, took his parrot out of the cage and
| left In It's place another one which had
| been brought up in o down town saloon.
It was the night Of the Mite Society, too,
and the clergyman is in disgrace. Moral
don't keep parrot.
A Brooklyn Sunday school class had lust
finished singing,
II want to be angel
And with the angel stand"
when the teacher, observing that one Of
the boys had not contributed bis voice to
swell the sacred refrain, said: "And you
want to be- an angel, too; don't you,
right away. l want to be q circus rider q
A convention Of Baptist preachers was
held at Pittsboro, N. c., a few days ago,
On the opening day two young c.ergymen
wers lnar.,ed, aud after the ceremony the
bridegrooms appeared before the commit.
porary ''homes" in Pittsboro. The wag.
gish members Of the committee, learning
that the hEathren hal bean married thai
raorufng . ned the b-idss 20 eihome al
one end Of Che town and their husbands tc
q home at the other end.
The War Cry, the official gazette of the
salvation army, prints o picture Of a mum
Der of little girls playing with their dolls,
and underneath it are the words: "This
Ia how these little girls used to waste their
time before they gave their hearts to
Jesus An exchange pithily comments
on this by saying that fortunately for the
world, religion still lives in spite of the
idiots that tie to it.
The f~unctionaries of the italian govern
ment are no respecters of persons, not even
of the Sovereign ,Pontif. Not long ago
the tenants IN o certain estate refused to
pay the state certain extraordinary taxes,
whereupop execution was issued against
the property and notice thereof was ad-
dressed to the owner. Now, that owner
was the pope himself, and 80 the notice
was made out in strict legal form; 'To
citizen Joachim Pecci; by trade or profess
sion, pope; conducting business (also resid.
ing) at the Vatican palace, Rome" His
holiness at once paid the taxes and OBJ
tanned therefor o receipt, reading: "Re-
ceived of citizen Joachim Pecci," etc.
1t is not generally known that Judge S.
Burke, who hnx come into some promi.
nence by his purchase of the "Nickel
Plate" ut the recent mysterious sale, began
life as o Methodist minister. On one oc-
casion be went to conference, and on his
way home he fell to b~rooding over the lack
Of appreciation that had been shown him
by the elders and the bishop. Naturally
Of O quick temper, his feelings soon got the
upper hand of him. Reigring up his horse
by q swamp, he gave his Bible and hymn
book a toss, sending them into the thicket.
Then turning to a Mortified clerical brother
who was with him, he said: "I'm going
into a business where brains are appreci.
ated better than they are here" and set.
ting spurs 90 his horse he was soon out of
sight. Soon afterward he turned up In o
law office, and has been climbing mp rapid.
ly ever since.