Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-12-14
PITH AND POINT.

The speculative sharps of New
York have organized q rubber ring. The
flats will cut their eye-teeth on it.-N.
o. Picay,lne =.
Our possessions are not so highly
appreciated by ourselves as by those
who have them not. A tight boot is a
pretty thing to loos at, but its beauties
are lost to the wearer. sa"'saa "a egls.
The French only mix nine different
articles together to make mince meat.
1t is the sixteenth and seventeenth in
gradients which make American mince
pie queen OF the world.-Detrost Free
Press.
LA Mazarin Bible was recently sold for
ST., 1000. Why the dickens doesn't some
enterprising publisher get out an edition
of the Mazarin Biblep He could make
money by selling them as low as &c.,
500 -piece.-Tbe' Jatage. ,Ha!i1Hl POI ''''
1-ssAh," mo4ned a widow recently
bereaved, "what misfortune! know
what kind of a husband have lost, but
how can know what kind of a husband
his successor will, be?'-Detroit Free
Press. ..e.-.-r.
The Detroit Free Press man says
sit costs money to be good" 1t is sus-
peeled that the last time he was in
church he put silver dime in the con-
tribution basket in mistake for a, cent.
Such errors will occur, if man. IS
wealthy. --NorriStoUn Herald. T
T ~ man at Omaha found three dol
lars on the street, and he advertised the
find to the extent of seven dollars, and
made the loser foot the'bi 1t is some
n $50 III, l.
est man.-Ercha7lQe. =, n, --, -"..tr
"A Michigan paper says: s'Bears
arc going to be thicker than grasshop-
pers in the woods of Michigan this win
ter Dare say. Bears are generally
considerable thicker than grasshoppers;
in fact bigger in every way.-Boston
Post. -..-. -
j A logical conelusion.-Ettle Bob:
''Tom, why do you call mamma mater?
What's mater mean?' Tom: ''Latin
for mother you know" Little Bob:
sob! 1 thought it was because she
had to see about getting husbands for
Flo and Edie that she was o mater. -
N. z. Tribune. !#IliIiist 7-.5.
AT a recent marriage in Brooklyn
"the bride wore dress of brocaded
plush, of crushed strawberry hue.' A
man never wears a pair of trowsers of
crushed strawberry. hue save when he
goes to a festival and sits down on
plate of the fruit. And that is what he
generally does-if the paragraphers
don't ie.-NorristoWn Herald.
"A parvenu having purchased an
ancient castle, with all the accessories.
is found by his daughter on the first cold
day warming his hands by fire which
he has had kindled in a suit of plate
armor. go, pa, what have you been
.doing?" The lord of the manor, with
Observation-Disclosures teller that patented
that ar stove must have been crazy, but
I've made the old thing heat up!"
There was a hand painted sign in
front of an uptown grocery in Chicago,
which originally read, in, dark, rheu-
matte letters, ''Calt for Sail.'i' A very
nervous and sensitive man living around
the corner noticed at once that it was
wrongly spelled, and spoke to the pro-
prietor about it. 'sHasn't that sign
been changed yet, Bile" he inquired of
his confidential clerk. "No; L guess
not" "Well, hang it all! I told the
boy to fix it last night; gimme that
marking pot,''' and rushing out of the.
store the board soon bore the cabalistic
words, ''Sault for Gale. '-Geek.