South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-02-17


ways inodestly states that he appears
for somebody else, but il is suspected
that lie really appears for himself.
La her advertisement. the lady prin-
oipnl of school mentioned her lady as.
sistant and the reputation 70, teaching
which che bears; ! bat the printer left
out tie which, 90 the advertisement,
went forth commanding the lady's rep.
utation for teaching she bears.
Leasing, the German philosopher, be-
ing abscnt-minded. knocked at his own
door one evening, when the servant,
looking out of the window and net rec
ognizing him, said: Tue professor is
not at home
Oh very we'll, said Leasing, oompos-
edly. walking away; IN call another
time
An irritable man, who was annoyed
in an omnibus by the lady who sat next
TO him coughing violently, exclaimed
that's very bal cold Of yours mad
am.
10 which she meelly replied, I know
It, sir, and I'm saEsy for it; but it's the
best that I've gos,,'sss,s..tsFsa
Il don't know what ails me- exclaim-
cd Henderson. Almost every after.
noon feel terrible pains all through
me! What did you eat for dinner to ..
day ? asked Fogg. Not any more
than usual,' replied Henderson. ate
plate OF turtle soup u bit OF baked
bass. couple slices Of roast pork, some
stewed kidneys, & little lobster salad, n
sweetbread or two. some pudding and
pie, ice-crcam, few nuts auG raisins.
u blt Of cheese, coffee, and a few other
things l don't think OF jus, now /
congratulate you, my boy said Forg (;
you've strong constitution. NoLh-
lng's the matter with you. If you
wen't IN prime health, that dinner
would have killed you
l have observed dat dc polilishun
who sots out to save dc llonlry am gin
orally hauled mp for robin her.
DON'T PoY OF MINE.-Ono OF the
teachers in the public schools actually
received The other day on excuse un-
iquc in its way,end written in behalf Of
Il delinquent pupil by the father. No
Teacher nhull b-ll
valid even under the requirements Of the
new code Of the board Of education. Il
runs IN this wise:
Mr. Teacher: Dot poy of mine yos
absent de oder day ven lie sAtaid out
j. got one big cold mid his neck va:
make him much trouble all de vile. -
Please don't give him some punishment
ven ne vas late in the nothing. lie
would go. there shuat in time every
day, but he IS not himse 10 blame. he
is got no mother. She was dead ten
years ago. AN this boys harent, by
his mother before she was dcad.'-N
!. EXprese.
Ma said a thoughtful bog, 4 don't
think Solomon was SO rich rs they say
he wac why, my dear, what could
have put that into your Il ad 2 'Why
the Bible says he slept with his fathers (:
and l think if he had been so rich he
could have had bed of his own.
Teacher: John, what are your
boots made Of? Boy: 'Ol leather,
Where does the leather come from 2
From the hide Of The OK what ami
mai, therefore, supplies you with boots
and gives you mea! to eat My
father
a London omnibus was quito full, the
other day. Of graduates returning
to their respective colleges. The day
was cold, wet, and miserable
Have you room, for one inside to Ok.
ford Z: asked as pretty girl as one
would wish to see on 4 summer day.
Lots Of room cried the insida7.-
We are not very large sc can manage
70 take one more
= hc fare vas aaid by the young lady.
cautiously, 10 bind The contract.
'Aii right responded the conductor.
Gene along. grandfather cried tho
damselr addressing o most respectable.
looking pofty elderly gentleman tho
money BE- rai1--get I'D, aud he sure Won
thank lhc young gentlemen, and at tue
same time sujJing sho action TO the
word and with q wicked smile. assist