Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-10-21
WIT AND HUMOR.

his wife wrote poetry; but he couldn't do anything about it then-he had talk en her for better or verse.
 No one ever saw a street-car so jammed full of men that good-looking woman would not wait five minutes for that particular vehicle.
 An exchange says that our navy is still in its infancy, which would justify the assertion that the vessels are seldom seen out of their slips.
 Preacher (arriving drenched) )-"What shall lido, Mrs. McGregor! I am wet through and through" Old Scotch woman-'Get into the pulpit as sumo as ye can. Yell be dry eno' there."
 A new novel is announced. 1.-The Coloners Cross" What the mischiefis the Colonel cross about? Have the sa- loon-keepers combined to deny him credit?-Tcrds Sytings.
 The London Times says ''it is pleas ing to note that the average expenditure for strong drink of every man, woman and child in England has fallen from $29 in 1875 to $16 in 1S8l."
 A marked difference between the Egypt of Joseph's day and the Egypt of Arabi Bey is that, whereas in the old time there was no corn in the land it is now absolutely full of kernels.
 Gen. Sherman says he eats bean soup efery day when at home, if he can get it. The general is supposed to be smoothing the way for statue of him. self in Boston.
 A mineral spring, the water of which Is good ink, has been found near Ken esaw Mountains, North Carolina. De signed for the black population, proba- bly,.
 "Yes." said Fogg, ''I used to believe every thing; was the most credulous fellow alive. But" he added, ''since 1 have had this confounded sore throat it is hard for me to swallow any thing" Fond wife-"How strange! Every time Peter comes home from his lodge he comes to bed with his hat on. But suppose it is some more of those Ma sonic doings."
 A Retort Courteous parlor maid:-"H Here's letter. ma'am, if you please" New mistress: Pray, Mary, are you not accustomed to see letters handed on trny?" "Yes, ma am. But l didn't know you was.
 Found His Mistake ''Women are so contrary" said Blobbs. Il thought when got married my wife would darn my socks and let me alone; instead of that she lets my socks alone and darns me-"
 Mrs. Langtry is said to be very busily
 preparing for her American tour. This,
 we presume, means that she is getting
 together lot of new clothes and amass-
 ing a trunkful of her photographs to be
 sold for two bits each.
 A German who had been Lutheran,
 and been sprinkled in his infancy, was
 asked, when he wished to join the Bap
 tist church, if he had not been baptized
 His answer was, Well, now, shust (
 leedle."
 Doctor" says the patient, meeting
 him on the street, 'I want you to tel
 me what is the matter with me. Wher
 1 wake up in the morning I feel dull
 stupid as an idiot" 'Humph! An(
 how did you feel when you went to beC
 the night before, eh?' But you know, pa," said the farm CTS daughter, when he spoke to he about the addresses of q neighbor's son "that ma wants me to marry man O culture" ''So do l, my dear, so do I
 and there is no better culture in tht country than agriculture" We have great sympathy for tn bachelor, who, when dying, left all hi property to three ladies who had refused all his offers of marriage. "Nobody cal : tell" he whispered, ''how much thos ladies have contributed to my happi
 ness"
 ''The Illuminated buoy is a wonderful invention," read old Mrs. Pinaphor il t her daily paper. '.Well," she observed , .I should think he was. And it is a 3 excellent idea, too, for if the boy is il t luminated his mother will have les 5 trouble finding him after dark" '1 can't smoke this cigar much long er," said Chowder, as he worried wit l stub. "No," said some one present 9 land you cant smoke it much shorter I Chowder gave the imbecile one pityin 5 glance, and then hailed street-car an l went home with a sad heart By tn 8 way, when it comes to hailing stree ' cars, isn't it dangerous to be out ( k doors?
 = It is said that the German wife doe Il not occupy the proud position of won i an under the same circumstances ' America. Here she is the pet of he . husbands riches or poverty, while the1 she at once becomes the mans servan /. "Do you love me, Gretchen?' said = burly Teuton to the maiden of h . choice. ''I do." was the meek reply |. And will you be my wife?'' Il will. f "Then, my darling, come here and pu ' of my boots;" and the proper relation :, ship between husband and wife was { |, once established.