Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-01
NUMOG.

NUMOH.
HOUSEHOLD hinls-pokers and broom
sticks.
The modest man gets left, whether th:,
day be cold Or hot.
= RAW recruit has to be often eyposeel
to hot fire before he becomes seasoned
soldier.
As BETWEEN the cheese press and t,e
printing press the former is tine stron =
est, but the latter is the most rapid.
A FOOL N high station is like man in
baiioon-everybody appears little to
lin AID lie appears little to everybody.
HE shoe worn by horse is wrought
iron shoe, but when the horse loses the
shoe from its loot it becomes a cast non
shoe.
HER foot is poe.n," the lover said:
- meiodious rhythm is her tread"
- Yes, saii his friend "a sort OF beat
'Spoldaic the measure two long fee..''
-LomtsCilP c0w.jor-.Journai.
An c1fice holder 5000 tires of public.
life when he suspects that his constitu-
ents have privately resolved not to re-
elect him.
Many a self-made man would have
done better by himself had be let the
contract out to somebody else.-Boston
transcript.
: COMPANY of settlers, in naming their
new town, called it Dictionary, because,
As :hay said, that's the only place
w'seTe peace, prosperity and happiness
sIe always found.
MATERIA medica American physician
20 English ditto)-" Now, in Vienna
they're frst-rate at diagnosis but then,
yon see, they always make point Of
confirming it by post-mortem. %
ST. Louis has two pretty female
homeopathic physicians. Their first
patient was q man who said he had the
aeuralgia from too much kissing, and
wanted to be treated Oh homeopathic
principles.
AS TO "what is rarer than day in
June?" the Boston AdUcgtiser replies,
taking their number into considera-
ton: day IN February" And so it is
III other respects, for some of them are
positively raw.
So ] THINK" said fond parent, "that
it:le Jimmy is going to be a poet when
be grows UP. He doesn't eat, and sits
al DAY by the stove, and thinks, and
thinks. "You had better grease him
al over. Heis going to have the measles.
That's what ais jimmy"
LOOK here. August. Why is i that
you SO often come 70 SCI Lie, AID never
think OF asking NE to come to see YOU q"
August: ''Ch, that's easily explained.
You see, If call Oh you, and you bore
NE, l can end the matter by leaving
you. But If you were in my house, It
wouldn't be so easy to get rid of YOU"
You shouid see orr Marshal on his horse
Like Adpoeon Bonaparte;
And as he rides along the lines
He makes the ladies start.
With an old straw hat
On each mans head.
And lump Of dough
just newly made
With the left foot first
Wen lightly tread
At the cornerstone parade.
-Neao York Commercial Adrertiser.
4 PASTOR in this city saw q clerical
looking man in his audience, and after
the services went up to him, grasped his
hand cordially and said 'sHow do you
do, brother are you pastor 2" The
young man looked trihe astonished,
ID !!2essstt;sttiingly replied: "Why, 10,
SIR; not hardly; Pm bookkeeper in a
grocery store. "-,Sl,rialgJfe1d Republi-
cG31.
The Colonel, who lives in the South,
was finding fault with Bill, one of his
hands, for neglect of work, and saying
he would have no more preaching about
lis place-they had too many protracted
meetings to attend. "Bill amt no
preacher says Sam. Giles only
'zorter." "Well, what's the difference
between a preacher and an exhorter ?"
why, you know. preacher he takes
tex, and den he done got to stick to it.
But a 'zorter-he kin branch"
At German church a new organist
had been engaged, who was fond of add
ing some improvisations to every piece
he played. On the first Sunday, when
he had finished the "Gioria," he wished
to add few bars of his own, but the
blower suddenly ceased to work. $50
on" the organlst cried, angrily; "don't
you see I am still playing ?" "Playing,
indeed, " said the blower, "I have been
in this business for the last thirty years,
and I know just exactly how much wind
is required for Gloria. I don't see
why you should have any more than
your predecessor.
"WHAT will your wife wear at the
ball, Governor?" said the millinery man
of ''society" paper to one of our ex-
Governors at fashionable Watering
place. ''My wife is not going to the
ball, sir" Impossible, Governor. I
have telegraphed her name to my paper
as among the guests. Now (appealing-
ly) what would your wife wear if she
was going?'' "Sir," replied the ex-Gov-
ernor in his austerest manner as he
turred on his heel, "since you have sent
my wife to the ball, dress her yourself"
And sure enough there was an elaborate
toilet described next morning.
What Weeds Cost Is.
The hitter waste Of woods ia naver mora