The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1882-10-05
WANTED A JOB.

Wants 10 wing MS way 10 Iaoo OF
forgetfuloess, and plunge into the
letheau depths of oblivion. After he
had taken a seat in the tete-a-tete
and hung his hat on The escritoire, be
said:
I'm a newspaper man myself.
Didn't know but you might want a
good man on the staff, somebody to
write up the sad features of life and
furnish the fearful wall, as it were.
Life is full Of woe, and 10 uy estimation
every paper should save woe editor.
I AN well fitted for that position, as
you will see, if may be allowed to
go on and detail my experience to
you.
4 went down into Kansas, and
started paper in small town on
the Santa Fe road, with assurance
that I would meet With the cordial
aid and sympathy Of the people there.
[ didu't expect to do big business,
but I just wanted to run little mod
est paper, with patent telegraph news
and electrotype editorials iu it. The
first week my patent inside didn't
get there, and I had to print that is
sue on some paper bags that I got
from our leading grocer. This was
an advantage, because his I'D was
already printed on the first page, and
it saved the wear and tear of display
type. Still the paper looked meagre,
and did not attract the attention that
l had hoped for it. 1t did not inAu-
ence the administration nor boom up
the town as l had anticipated.
The next week I wrote up little
social party and gave the name of a
young man who was drunk and frolic-
some, and shot out all the lights. He
also shot an old man who was calling
off the dance.
i thought the press ought to be
fearless and outspoken if the occa-
sion required, and I wrote it up
carefully, and, as I thought, fairly,
but the young man came around the
next day and convinced me that I
was wrong. I Was writing scatb-
ing article Oh agnosticism when he
came in and knocked me under the
Job press with a chair. I didn't
know him at all, and I thought it was
rather eccentric for a total stranger,
so when I got up again I told him so.
Theo be jammed me into the wood
box, and poured keg of ink and a
can of coal oil on me before I could
have any understanding with him.
Then he went away.
That evening he came with some
friends and bought the good will of
the establishment, and the whoie Of
fee and subscription list of ne. He
had the advantage of me, and bought
it low. I felt that I was making a
sacrifice, but I was afraid | might not
have aucther opportunity to sell, so I
sold. The price, of course, was NOM
inal, but the inducements held out
were Dotto be ignored.
Since then I have started three
papers, and had three large and hotly
contested fights. Ny collar-bone has
been broken in two places, and my
doctors bills have always been bigger
than the other expenses of the Office.
The dentist has been pulling teeth
out of my palate ever since I entered
the newspaper business AS soon as [
got so I could see with both eyes, one
of them has been closed up on me,
and my nose has, at different times,
pointed around all over my face.
What I want now is chance to
work on some paoer in cog., as 1
might say, and where I will be my
self. I can take a most current
event and tinge it with sadness. l
can give an air of hopeless melan-
cboly to the occurrences of every day
life that will make your paper known
all over the world. I will admit that
this is an innovation 10 journalism,
perhaps, but it will take, I think, and
I know that if I can succeed in i'm
buing into my work that settled air of
gloom that I feel, your paper will win
for itself, in short time, the uaue
of being the most gbastly record of
disappointment aod grief-stricken'
horror-soaked remorse in the kDoWn
world
The manager sobbed few times,
and then said, while his voice was
chokcd with emotion, that the opa-
que gloom department was ably filled
at present, snd the stranger went out
Into the cold, hard, unsynpathizing
outer world, taking With him the
leaden burden of woe and silk um-