The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1882-04-27
STRATAGEM.

am q spinster, oged--but no, will
not tell you my ase--and live in lit.
tie whi;o house On the side Of the hill,
surrounded by fruit trees and lilac
bushes, while in the front of the house
is little garden with hollyhocks, mari
colds and a plentiful supply of spear.
mint, which is so nice for soup, and q
sprig of wake-robin, which is very
good for weak eyes. l am plagued with
weak eyes some.
Here I live alone by myself-not
alone either, for haven't 1 Tower, q
big black dog, with face that is g mix
ture Of gray and white, and great brown
eyes with look almost human in them.
and great deal more expression than
has that simperjng Sarah Smythe. She
says | am conceited old maid, only
waiting for chance to get married.
the ninny Why shouldn't l, if have
a good chancep II would be handy to
have man bring water, chop kindlinga
and stretch clotheslipes on washdavs
L may be out of the market now before
she il, the little goose for when turn
my cup over after drinking teal al
ways do-the grounds say u long Jour
neg with three dots at the end, which
stands for crown; and if that isn't
marriage I'd like to know what is?
III nothing happens to intercept fer
tune shall have him call me SilIie; it
is so much more loving an affectionate
than Priscilla. Now my name is oLc
of those things that mover can be ac.
counted for; for why should they name
such loving person Priscilla Nettlo--
ton? And to tell the truth the rar,
who gets Priscilla might do worse. ]
don't want to brag, but the man or NO
man who finds any dirt in my hous,
has got to hunt for it; and 1 can make
piecrust that would melt in youl
mouth, and rhubarb tarts and buckle.
berry hollows that would do your soul
good. III my mind a mans love has 6
great cell to do with the condition OF
his stomach.
Then 1 am not very bad-looking: 7
have sweet deposition, dress young
and that makes me think of Saral
Smythe again; that girl is brier il
my flesh. She says, coming home from
meeting the other Sunday-so 1 could
hear her, too:
Ii old Miss Nettleton hasn't got
pink gingham just like mine, and made
just like it, with three founces
Saws I:
"You goodfor-nothing little mink,
why shouldn't have a pink ginc han.
with three founcesif pay for it? Your
father is IN debt to everybody in Thom,
asvillel"
Don't you think she got mad just my
saying that--folGs don't get mad as
easy as that unless you bit them pretty
close-and says she /:
-" You're q meddlesome, interfering
old maid y
Just think of calling me an interfer-
ing old maid Now that is downright
fabrication. l don't want anybody to
be wicked, but if they arc l want to
know all about il, and I won't uphold
anybody in their wicked ways by with
my opinion, and if Abby
Nicholas is going to have light in her
front room until half-past 10 Sunday
evenings, l have q right to call in there
about that time if / want to. And if
Sara Perkins and her husband don't get
along want to know that, too. l knew
they wouldn't; why, Sara can't make
brown bread fit for my Tower to eat;
and that soQgy white bread is what has
given poor Perkins the dyspepsia, and
in my mind it las something to DO with
his rheumatism. You have to be very
careful about raising white bread, for if
it stands three minutes too long or too
little it is spoilt-just spoilt.
There comes Mary Green's sassy boy.
| must go out and tell him to wipe his
feet before he comes in-and if he hasn't
got letter! Now letter always sets me
like, for they are almost al
ways trimmed with black; but this one
isn't. l most wish it was, though.
"DEAR Miss NErT1EroN: Il wrote Won
some time ago informing you OF the
death OF your kinsman, John Vance. II
now feel it incumbent on me as his
friend and the guardian of his only
child, Dolly, to say that, as she has no
permanent home, it might be pleasant
for you to have her come to you. If II
receive no answer by next week | shall
take silence as consent, and you may
sxpect her the first of the week after.
"Very respectfully,
"W, KELLER"
len't that cool, though? Why, she
will be az much trouble as was Tower
in mis- Juvenile days, dancing in and out,
and | shall have the doors to shut after
her, and my kitchen will have to be
washed twice day, and she'll want to
sit In the front room and have the cur.
tains up, and my rag carpet will be all
faded out; and shall never know
where to find nothing. Now. il Law a
thing down it stays there til / pick il
up again. Why, could darn my stock.
ings in the dark, and lay my hands on
the right number of cotton to darn them
with. Number sixteen is in the right