The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1882-07-13
Some Matrimonial Mistakes,

m;.rry-tDey .V$ les5 ilRely 10 naTinOniZc
with each other; they will be more what
is called set in their ways, and less hap.
py in the marriage relation. This may
be laid down as rule, though it has nu-
inerous exceptions. | think tie ages l
hasf jus. given are good marrying ages,
whether you consider morals, health, or
finances. People should make their
choice long enough before they are
married to be sure what sort Of person
it is to whom they are intrusting the
happiness Of their future. If, by carly
choice, you mean boy and girl selections,
do not believe in them. | refer you
again TO 81. Ronml's Wei. Tho heroine
complains of blighted distracted life,
but says, When was it otherwise, with
engagements formed in youth and folly !?
You and | would, you know, become
man and woman while we were yet
scarcely more than children Let us
suppose that this early choice means very
early marriage say the girl of sixteen
or seventeen marrries the lad Of twenty.
Now there are many such couples, and
the marriage is usually without the con-
sent Of the parents on either side. The
girls parents would feel that she is far too
young for the cares Of married life, the
bays parents feel that he is too young
either TO know his own mind, or TO sup
port q wife. When these matches nre
made, the unfortunate parents on either
side are usually forced TO support o
household for which they are not respon-
sible. Their consent was not asked by
the youthful advcnturcrs. but their care
ana money are freely demanded. The
mother, who is scarcely rcstcd from the
fatigues of bringing up her own little
family-who has perhaps just seen her
nursery vacated by The last small cHndi-
date for the school-room is Obliged to
reassumc these same burdens for the chill
dren Of the two youthful parents"
At this minute the doctor, who was in
search of his son Thomas, thrust his bead
in the window. He had heard the last
remarks and interposcd. Now have
word to say to you young folks, and /
want you all to heed it. Some of you
think it very smart to run of and get
married, long before any one thinks yoil
are old enough. Miss lanci,1 that she
has raised herself far above her playmates
by her early ma.ronhood. And young
master, vino ought to be pursuing his
studies, OF learning the frst steps in the
business Of lis life, struts about, aud
takes airs as Il married man. 1t is sight
to make doctors weep, if nobody else, for
pe know what will come Of it. Now /
am notgoing to mincc matters f; The prob
abilities in this case are for large fam
lily Of children, near of an age, and fee
bio in body and mind. These premature
ly married couples have not physical and
mental maturity sufficient for robust and
vigorous. Drained children. The poor
young parents will gro,o old fast enough
in watching seepless nights with baby
sufierers-when they can not by any pos
sbiity nurae with judgmont-a?d ir
following littlo collins. The girl, who at
sixteen was vain of being n bride, is very
likely not to see twenty four ; If she does,
she will be pale, thin, careworn her vi
vacity gone, her hopefuluess lost in many
disasters, just When the companions of
her childhood nre in the first freshness Of
young beauty, hope, and love. There IS
another point to be looked at. In these
over. early marriages women. grow old
thiee years the junior of her boy bride
groom, soon begins TO look older than
he does at thirty he is yet young
man, while, if she has lived SO long, she
looks like m old woman, having SO long
sustained cares to which she was entirely
UNEQUAL. Ten TO one the man has by
this time found out that he madea has.
ty choice; every year has widened differ
ences between them. He has grown
mentally, while she, poor soul has no
time to grow. He is shut out from
pleasure which he longs to enjoy HE
home is o burden, his wife drag. She
compares herself with others and sees the
difference. Sho feels that her husband
over.persuaded her to take step whose
resple has been bitterness. 1t is not n
pretty picture, but unhappily it is truc
il every line, and miserably and often
Repeated. I wish could keep 1t before
Che eyes of all foolish girls aud boys."
SWELL" said John Frederick, "since
the doctor has drawn us such n picture OF
premature marriages, who 'vill utter n
similar Jeremlad over Lt. Engage
n,entsF"
~ WILL" said the stranger, promptly.
"They arc dangerous things"
"But in what are they dangerous
They give people time to become ma.
ture and sensible before they marry"
And also time to grow apart from
each other; to change, to see, perhaps,
marry with only half heart. Take such
an instance as this: at an academy or
high school, youth of eighteen becomes
engaged to % girl Of nearly his own age.
He, goes from the school to college, then
through his professional studies, say for
seven years If he stops to help himself
by teaching, lot us say nine years. Then
he is lucky If two years more will give
him such start in life that he may mar.
ry. He is twenty. eight or thirty; he has
had ten or twelve years of n. .1ntal growth
and rapid progress; he has learned much
of men and of things, seen much of So
ciety. Suppose in this time, the girl has
not pursued her studies, she has paid no
heed to books then her mind has re-
trograded, for mind can not Rtand still.
Shut up in kor home, with fev interests,
fcw sources of improvement, the years Of
waiting have bean harder on her than on
him. The fact of her engagement has
shut her out from many little attentions
that others have received her early
companions have married. and found 9th.
or homes the next younger set have
grown up, and think her old. Her story
Z may be fortunately different, but IL is
often exactly this; her lover remains
true to his promise, though the first
warmth of his feelings hrs died out with
distance and new occupations. They
find themselves strangers to each other;
they have 80 changed He thought she
was younger and brighter: she thought
he was moro tender. They each might
have been better suited, If that youthful
fancy had not been bound by an engage
ment."
Z i.NNell, how help all this % said Peter.
"Exercise common sense. When q
young man has arranged such plan FOX
his life that he evidently can not marry