The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-30
HIS PA CATCHES ON.


"Where have you been for week
backr' asked the groceryman of the
bad boy, as the boy pulled his tail
board out of the delivery wagon
accidentally and let couple of
bushels of potatoes roll out into the
gutter. Il haven'tsecn you around
here, and you look pale. You
haven't been sick, have your"
"No, / have not been sick. Pa
locked me up in the bathroom for
two days and two nights, and didn't
give me nothing to eat but bread and
water. Since he has got religion he
seems to be harder than ever on me.
Say, do you think religion softens
mans heart, or does it give him a
caked breast? 1 'spect pa will burn
Inc at the stake next .t HI.."
The groceryman snid that when
man had truly been converted his
heart was softened. and he was
always looking for chance to do
good and be kind to tile poor, but if
he only had this galvanized religion,
this roll-plate piety, or whitewashed
reformation, he was liable to be
harder citizen than before. ''What
made your pa lock you up in the
bathroom on bread and water!" he
asked.
well" says the boy, as he eat
couple of salt pickles out Ola jar on
the sidewalk, ''pa is not converted
enough to hurt him, and ! knowed it,
and | thought it would be good
joke to try and see if he was so
COMPOUNDED good, so l got my chum
to dress up in suit of his sisters
summer clothes. Well, you wouldn't
believe my chum would look so much
like a girl. He would fool the oldest
inhabitant. You know how fat he
is. He had to sell his bicycle to
slim fellow that clerks in the store,
cause he didn't want it any more.
His neck is just as fat and there are
dimples in it, and with a dress low in
the neck and long in the trail he
looks us tall as my ma. He busted
one of his sisters slippers getting
them on, and her stockings were Il
good deal too big for him, but he
tucked his drawers down in them
and tied his suspender around his
leg, above the knee, and they STAYED
on all right. Well, he locked KILN,
/ should prcvaricatc, with his sisters
muslin dress on, starched rs stiff as
shirt, and her reception hat, with
awhile feather as big as a Newfound-
land dogs tail. Pa said lie had got
to 90 down town to see some of the
old soldiers of his regiment, and l
loafed along behind. My chum met
pa Oh the corner and asked him
where the Lakeshore park was. She
said she was a stranger from Chicago,
and that her husband had deserted
her, and she didn't know but what
she would jump into the lake. Pa
looked in my chum's eye and sized
her up, and said it would be a shame
TO commit suicide, and asked if she
didn't want to take walk. My
chum said he should litter, and he
took pas arm and they strolled up
TO the lake and back. Well, you
may talk about joining the church ON
probation all you please, but they
get their arm around girl all the
same. Pa Rugged my chum till he
says he thought pa would break his
sisters corset all to pieces, and he
squeezed my chum's hand till the
ring cut right into the finger and he
has to wear a piece of courtplaster
OH it. They started for the court
house park, as told my chum to do,
and went and got ma. 1t was
about time for the soldiers to go to
the exposition for the evening biz
ness, and / told ma we could go
down and see them go by. Ma just
throwed shawl over ker head and
we started down through the park.
When we got near pa and my chum l
told ma it was q shame for so many
people to he sitting around lallygag-
ging right before folks and she said
n was disglstin' and then L pointed