The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1882-01-10
Scrst and cMopse'ase.

Why is tue house of tidy wife like
a motion to adjournf You give it up
Because it is always in order.
If jeff Davis met bunko man while
carrying away that S2,500,000 from
Richmond he is not going 10 write s
card.
Under the head of mus ical a Cleve.
land paper gives an account of horse
trot Presume it was an attempt 10 b, al
time.
Qleen Victoria is hale ord hearty a
sixty.two. Her forty.year-old SON:
chances for long reign are constantly
growing smaller III.
"Is that your little boy 7" mo, no
exactly; when be was week old he wa;
left on my doorstep. l am, you may
say, his stepmother "
Ohrstmas is not legal holiday il
some States. In others the Monday
following Christmas falling on Sunday
is not legal holiday. Fl
"The dsrkey's hour is just before day,
as Samho remarked when he started ou
from his "Ole Kentucky Home" to fad
chicken for breakfast
remember kiss she gave me,
While leaning against the wall;
She glued her lips to mine and said,
yum, yum," and that was all.
Among the members Of the lower
House OF the Tennessee Legislature are
white man and negro who held the
relation Of master and sieve before the
war
Some professors assert that an angle.
worm on ish.hook sufferers no pain
We now understand why they squilm
so-they merely want to take little ex-
ercise.
"Johu @ ,incy Adams used to read
the Bible through every year." 1t will
DE remem bered, however, that in Johns
time the papers didn't publish any base
ball news.
A fat woman of C)rmth, Mississippi
drank ash-bark tea To make her lean and
skipped for the b. tier land just two
hours ahead OF lean woman who was
eating gum arabic to make her fat.
An Illinois deacon, while visiting in
PnIladelphIa, was asked il he had pur.
chased any Christmas cards, and re.
piled with some surprise: "Why should
+? Ny old pack is good enough"
Talmage says the use of ''By George"
and Goodness gracious" leads to swear
ing Bat it is not convenient for most
me1, after putting up slovepipe to get
into rulpit ana prance and howl.
A French writer says: The first half
of our lives we pass in desiring the sec
ond, and the second in fond remembrance
of the first" A man generally marie,
during the second hall Of his life.
"Ma," said young impudence at break
fast this morning, .'ths is the last pie
you made, amt it2" Yes, my son,
whv2' 81 guess you had to paint the
stutfing in with brush. It's awful
thin" Sentenced to go pieless until he
can cultivate proper spirit of appre-
citation.
Thomas Barnhardt. OF Bellevile, Or
tar;o, with the permission of her pa
rents, lately married girl with the un
ders snding that it was to go for nothing
il at the end Of two weeks she didn't
suit. At the end of two weeks, there
fore, Mr.. Barnhardt returned her as un-
satisfactory.
A bishops wife was telling the. story
of Jonah to her child the other day.
"Such big fish swallowed him, my
dear, such big f1sh--it might even have
swallowed your dear papa" The child
was eating grapes, and was of an induc.
tive mind-"And would be spit out the
skin, mamma I"
Paymaster King. Of the navy, who
spent two years in Alaska, differs with
Professor Elliot in regard to the popu-
lation and resourc> of the purchase.
He thinks there are more than thous.
and white inhabitants, and states that
the settlement called Harrisburg took
out this year $50, 900 in gold dust.
Oh. barber, shave me gently!
And soothe me with song
To the music of your razor
Gliding DER face that's long
Gliding DER face of marble.
Frisking meath a Roman nose
Which. TO the cold weather owing.
Answers to resonant blows.
-Aodern Argo.
A little three-year-old had fallen down
and hurt her knee. and as she sat rock.
ing in her little chair, plying and rub
bing the injured part, sue suddenly look
ed up and said:
"Did God make me, mammaP"
"Yes, dear"
"Well," said she, "if He's got any
pieces left, l wish He would mend my
knee"
Once upon a time Landseer had an
order TO paint a portrait Of Queen Vic
tcr,a. She was to be represented on
horseback, and the famous artist never
got further than the horse, beautiful
milk-white animal, painted as only
Landseer could paint. Now this un-
flushed picture has appropriately been
turned over to MilIais to complete, and
be proposes making the figure portrait
OF Nell G Gwynne.
See the man. Heis holding up th'
lamp post How the wind whistles ant
blows. 1t is very cold. The man i
full as boiled owl. If he goes hom
will his wife greet him with kiss Nc
but abe will search his clothes for loos
change and appear at the matinee mex
Saturday. The man knows this an
r does not go home. He prefers the sc
l cie'y of lamp post to that of lis wifi
!. This man has great head.