St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-02-17
SQIiibS.

The good man has three friendships
Maker, himself, and the angel death.
Probably the finest exhibition of hu-
man courage that is ever witnessed can
he seen by interviewing the passengers
of a Western railroad train half an
hour after the robbers are gone.
"That pictur,n remarked Mr.. Gold
bug. ''has got the finest camera-Ob-
scura | ever saw "Jim," remarked
his old friend and fellow citizen from
PunpVille, with Il look of intense pride,
''sens you got to be II millionaire your
cultur'S jest wonderful ~
A lady writer finds fault with the
manners of the King of Sweden, be-
cause His Majesty scratched his royal
head with a fork at dinner. Some peO
pie are entirely too fastidiOus. Would
the lady have had His Majesty scratch
his head with the leg of chair9
A negro who was refused the usual ac-
cOmmOdatiOns at a New York "cOffee
and cake saloon" brought suit against
the owner, but the case has been final
| ly decided against him on the ground
that Il place of the kind which does not
provide lodgings is not an inn or pub
lie house.
No, young man, it doesn't hurt yon
II particle to SOW your wild oats. Go
ahead and SOW rs many as you wish
but it's the gathering in of the crop
that will make you howl. And you
will have to gather it, too. If you
don't it will gather you, and one is
worse than the other. Go on and SOW
your wild oats, but keep away from
the office during harvest time.
A few days ago, IA rap was heard on
one of the doors of Smith College, Ga
girls schOol) and on opening the door
II seedy looking man stood there. "ls
this the college ~ he asked. eyes,"
was the reply. "Have you any old
pants to dispose Off" The door was
shut Oh that fellow pretty quick
| Northampton Gazette.
A correspondent at Denver assures
us that sewing machine agent, on en-
tering the grounds of private resi-
dence, was met by the pet ch-dog
of the landlady and compelled to skip
out at lively rate. Nothing daunted,
the agent started down town and bOr-
rowed Colts navy pistol from a
friend, returned, put five bullets in the
pet dog, and then went in and sold the
landlady "A sixty-dollar machine.
Two SONS of Erin, shovelling on a
hot day, stopped to rest and exchanged
views on the labor question: "Pat,
this is mighty hard work we're at"
at is, indade, Jenny; but what kind
of work is it you'd like, if you could
get it p "Well," said the other, lean
ing rcflectivcly on his shovel and wip-
ing the Pcrspiration from his brow
with the back of his hand, ''for nice,
aisy, clane business, think ! would
like to be bishop"
A correspondent writes us to know
which, in our Judgment, is the safest
seat in case of railroad collision, as
he wishes to settle controversy with
some friends. From long and pain
ful study in this matter and calling to
our aid IA ripe experience, we would
say, without fear of successful denial,
that the safest seat in case of rail
road collision is the top rail of relia-
BILE fence about four miles in "A north
easterly direction from the collision.
Texas is the healthiest country in
the world. We recently came across Il
San Antonio paper, in which it was
stated, in as many words, that "the re
mains of man, killed forty years ago,
were discovered plowing in Central
Garden In no other state and in no
other city in the state is the air so sa-
Iubrious that the remains of a man
killed forty years before can be seen
blowing. The attention of invalids is
called to this astonishing evidence of
the salubrious quality of the San An
+ tonic atmosphere.
passengers Oh this bus will do well
to look ont for their pocket-books, "
said a London policeman at the door
of "a crowded omnibus. "There are
two members of the swell mob i'll
here" 'If that's the case" said a
nervous man, in white choker, who
looked like a clergyman, IL will get
out. ! cannot risk my reputation in
such company" And >" said re-
spectacle looking old gentleman, with
. gold headed cane and spectacles,
''have too much money about me to
stand the chances of being robbed"
And so both alighted. Then the po-
liceman said "Drive on; they've
I both got out"