The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1882-09-07

= Talk is cheap unless lawyer does
the talking.
= The grumblcrs rcvcr work, and the
workers never grumblc
= Twenty-Five hundred watcrmclons
crowded into one railroad car in Tcnnes-
see the other day broke it down.
: The Tennessee handle factory at
Chattanooga began operations few days
ago, aud is now turning out 500 handles
per day.
= The sting of bee is only one thirty
second of an inch long. II is your i'm
aginatinn that makes j, seem rs long ns n
hoe. handle.
= The Detroit Free Press says that
babies are so small in the little State Of
Rhode Island that they spnnk them with
tack-hammer.
The Enquirer Of Cincinnati SAYS: Hon.
p. II. Barnum strongly indorscs St. ia.
cobs Oil for pain. Ills combination aud
artists all use it.
= II strains a young man more to hnve
l40 pound girl on his knee than it does
to load hay all day, but he's perfectly
willing to be strained.
"A German lately married says, I'D
vas yoost so easy as II needle Good walk
out nit camePs eye as to get der be-
hindt word NIT Il voman's."
-"I want littlo change" said Mrs.
B. to her husband. "Well," was the
heartless response, 'just wait for it.
Time brings change to everybody
"A six-year.old was seated in bar
ber's chair. well, my little man," said
The barber, chow would you like your
hair cut7" 80. like papa's, with little
round hole at the top"
"A physician says that kiss is the
art of moving the labial muscles when
tho lips are first brought suddenly to.
gcther, and then explosively separated;
so tha. after all kiss is only an artificial
spasm.
= North Carolina has u young China5
man, Charlie Soon, who is now studying
Mt Trinity College to prepare himself to
10 back 10 his country III II missionary.
DIR. Craven, the President Of The College,
speaks very highly of him.
- A gentleman finding his servant
intoxicated, snid, "What, drunk again,
Sam9 scolded you for being drunk
last night, and here you are drunk
again." "No massa; same drunk, mas.
sa; same drunk" replied Sanlbo.
= Now that Ohio men do not monop.
olize the Federal offices to the same ex-
tent as formerly, they naturally betake
themselves TO other lines Of industry.
Half dozen of them on Sunday cap
tured and plundered IN excursion train
returning to Toledo.
= A man out west bought bedstead,
the wood of which was so green that one
warm spring day it broke out all over
with buds, and and in week was cover
ed all oTcr with little groves Of waving
branches. In tho autumn the children
picked the chestnuts from the side pieces
and next spring tapped the headboard
for maple syrup.
"A young lady Of this city was re.
Gently noticed by her mother 10 be fond.
ling and kissing her pet kitten. "Why,
Mary" said the mother. you have kiss.
you have me in five years." Don't you
you, mother7" emo, my child" "You
hoNSu Eot Nb1ohSio'
= A famous North country clergyman,
whilst preaching n few Sundays since
from the text, "He giveth his beloved
Sleep" stopped in the middle of his dis.
course, gazed upon his slumbering con.
gregation and said Brethren, it Is hard
to realize the unbonnded love which the
Lord appears to have for a large portion
Of my present auditory"
- A Dakota girl has earned her right
to the endesring title of duck" While
crossing the river near Valley City her
canoe upset. She tied the canoe to her
ankle and SWAN ashore. Another young
woman of the same Territory has adver-
tised for husband as follows: "Imean
business. If there is any young man in
this county that has as much sand in him
~ q pound of plug tobacco want to hear
from him. I have free claim and
homestead, am good cook and not afraid
10 work, and am willing to do my part.
III any man witt, n like amnnpt NJ Land !