Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1882-05-18
JUDGE BROWN, OF GEORGIA.

JUDGE BROWN, OF GEORGIA.
Captain Henry's misadventure recalls O
story which went the round twenty-five or
thirty five years ago, and is old enough to
be new. It illustrates the embarrassment
which glass too much sometimes occs-
sions the best Of men. There lived in Geor-
gia, says Col. Bradbury, whom Burton
credits with the narrative, circuit judge by
the name of Brown, man of ability, of in
flexible integrity and beloved and respected
by all the legal profession. But he had one
fault. His social qualities would lead him,
despite his judgment. into occasional ex-
cesses. In travelling the circuit, 1t was his
habit, the night before opening court, to
get comfortably corned." If he couldn't
succeed while operating on bis own hook,
the members of the bar would generally
turn in and help him.
1t was in the spring Of the year; taking
his wife In the old fashioned carry all, the
judge j ,urneyed some forty miles and
reached village where court was to be
opened the next day. He took quarters
with a relation of his better half. by whom
the presence Of an official dignitary was
considered a high honor. After supper he
strolled over to the only tavern in town,
where he found many old friends collected
to the place. on important professional busi-
ness, aud who were properly glad to meet
him.
Gentleman" said the judge, cts quite
long time since We have enj ,yed glass to.
gethsr-let us take drink all around. OF
course, Sterrit, addressing the landlord).
you have better liquor than you had the
last time we were here; the stuff you had
then as not fit to give to a dog"
Sterritt, who had charge of the house, pre-
tended that everything was right, and SO
they went to work. It is unnecessary to
enlarge upon drinking bout in country
tavern-it will answer our purpose to state
that somewhere in the region Of midnight
the judge wendell his very devious way to-
wards his temporary home. About the
time he was leaving, however, some young
er baristers, fond Of practical" and not
the liver spoons Of Stenitt to the Judges
coat pocket.
It was eight o'clock Monday morning
when the judge rose. Having INDUCED in
| the process of ablution and abstertion, and
| partaken of cheerful and refreshing break.
| fast. he went to his room to prepare him.
| self for the duties Of the day.
We'll. Polly, be said to his wife, Il feel
much better than expected to feel after
that frolio OF last night
"Ah, judge, said she reproachfully, you
are getting too old-you ought to leave off
| that business"
"Ah. Polly, what's the use Of talking7" 1t
| was at this preoise moment that the judge,
| having put on his overcoat. was proceeding,
according to his custom. to give his wife a
parting kiss, that he happened. in thrustine
his hands into his pocket. to Lay hold of
Sterritt's spoons. He jerked them out.
With an expression Of horror, he ex-
| claimed:
my God. Polly!"
What on earth's the matter. judge'"
| Just look at those spoons!"
Dear me, where dye get them?'
| Get them! Don't you see the initials on
them?" extending them toward her. 4
stole them!"
"Stole them. judge2"
Yes, stole them!"
my dear husband, it can't be possible!
From whom2"
From sterritt, over there; his name is
| on them"
Good heavens, how could 1t happenf"
| Il know very we'll, Polly. I was very
drunk when came home, wasn't II"
| why, judge, you know your old habit
shen you get among those lawyers"
But was very drunk2"
| ayes, you was"
| Was I remarkably drunk when I got
home. MIS- Brown1"
Yes, judge, drunk as fool. and forty
| times as stupid"
Il thought co." said the Judge, dropping
| in chair in extreme despondenc7. Il
knew it would come to that, at last. have
always thought that something bad would
happen to me-that I should do something
very wrong-kil somebody in moment of
passion. perhaps-but never imagined
could be mean enough to be guilty Of de.
hberate larceny"
Bat there may be some mistake,
| Judge"
mo mistake, Polly. I know very we'll
| how it all came about. That fellow, Ster-
rift, keeps the meanest sort Of liquor, and
always did-llquor mean enough to make a
man do any SOFT Of mean thing. have
always said 1t WAS mean enough to make a
| man steal, and now have practical illus
tration of the fact!" and the poor old man
burst into tears.
Don't be a child" said his wife, wipine
away the tears; go like man over to Ster-
nit, tell him 1t was little bit of frolic.
Pass it off as ioke-go and open court,
and no one will ever think of it again"
| little of the soothing system operated
upon the judge. as such things usually do.
His extreme modification was finally suo-
dued, and over to Sterritt's he went with q
tolerahle face. or course, he had but lit
tie difficulty in settling with him-for aside
from the fact that the judges integrity was
unquestionable, Ste1rtt had an inkling of
the joke that had been played. The judge
took his seat In court; but it was observed
that he was subdued and melancholy, and
that his mind frequently wandered from
the business before him. There was lack
Of the sense and intelligence that usually
characterized his proceedings.
Several days passed and the business Of
the court was drawing to close, when one
morning tough citizen was arraigned on a
charge Of stealing. After the Clers
had read the indictment to him he put the
question:
Guilty or not guilty2"
Guilty, but drunk" answered the pris-
oner.
"What's that plea?" exclaimed the Judge
who was half doing on the chair.
He pleads guilty, bit says ae was drunk,
replied the clerk.
What's the charge against the MANI"
aHe is indicted for grand larceny"
| whats the case?"
May it please your honor, :" said the pros.
ecuting attorney, "the man is regularly in
dicted for stealing large sum from the
Columbus hotel.
HE is, hey and he pleads" .
He pleads guilty, but drunk!" 5s.s
| The judge is now fully aroused.
Guilty, but drunk! That is most OK.
traordinary plea. Young man, you are Ger
tain you were drunk2"
yes, sir"
where did you get your Hauor2"
AZ Starritt's." r
did you get none nowhere else3'
Not drop, sirP"
you got drunk on his liquor. and after.
wards stole his money!" ltEs
Yes, sir. Gf 7.H ~
@Mr. Prosecuotr," said the Judge, adt
me the favor to enter the nolle prosequi In
that mans case. That liquor Of Sserritt's
is mean enough to make man do anything
dirty. The court got drunk on it the Other
day and stol all of Sterritts spoons! Re-
lease the prisoner, Mr.. Sheriff; ! adjour,
/ tho norrt -