Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-06-11
THE MODERN PRINTER.

XHE MODERN PRlNIEh.
THE Man is at the Desk. He is an
Editor. What is that in his hand? 1t
is Microscope. What does the Editor
want of Microscope? He Is looking
for his salary.
SEE the Elevator. It is not running.
How the Man swears. He is an Editor.
Do Elevators ever run? Oh, yes, when
they are first put in Building, and be-
fore they ere Paid for.
THIS is the Man who has had Notice
in the Paper. How Proud he is. he is
Stepping Higher than Blind Horse.
If he had Wings he would Fly. Next
week the Paper viii say the Man is a
Measly Old Fraud, and the Man will not
Step so High.
HERE is Valise. It does not Weigh
-Four Hundred Pounds. 1t is the Valise
of an Editor. In the Valise are Three
Socks and Bottle and Book. There
is Something in the Bottle. Maybe tits
Arnica for the Editors Sore Finger.
The Book is Baxter's Saints Best. The
Socks got into the Valise by Mistake.
Perhaps the Bottle will get into the Ed
itor by Mistake.
BEHOLD the Printer. He is Hunting
for Pickup of half Line. He has
Been hunting for Two Hours. He could
have Set the half Line in Twenty Sec
onds, but it is a Matter of Principle with
Him never to Set what he Can pick up.
The Printer has Hard time. He has
to Set type all night and Play pedro for
the Beer all Day. We would Like to
Be Printer were it not for the Night
Work.
Is THIS Corner Lot? No, it is a
Towel. 1t has Been serving an Appren-
ticeship in a Printing Office for the Past
four Years. The horses are Dragging it
away. A man will Take an AK and
Break the Towel into Pieces and Boil it
for Soap Grease. Then he will sell the
Towel for Triple. IF you Find Piece Of
Triple with Monogram in one Corner,
you may Know it is the Towel.
HAS the Printer Tobacco? He has,
But he will not Tell you So. He carries
it in the Leg Of his Boot, and when he
wants Chew he Sneaks down in the
Back Alley where Nobody can See him.
When he Splits tobacco it sounds like
Duck diving in the Water. The printer
is Queer man. He is Tickle person.
Sometimes he Has ten thousand Ems on
the String, but they are Always his
Dupes. IF you are a Printer do not be-
Blacksmith. or you will get Fired.
HERE we Have q Business Manager.
He is Blowing about the Circulation of
the Paper. He is Saying the Paper has
Entered upon an Era of Unprecedented
Prosperity. In Minute he will Go up
Stairs and Glide the Editor for leaving
his Gas Burning while he Went out for
q Drink OF Water, and he will dock a
Reporter four Dollars because a Sub
scrlber has Licked him and he cannot
Work. Little Children, if we Believed
Business Managers went to Heaven We
would Give up our Pew in Church.
HERE we have Knife. It looks like
a Saw, but it is Knife. It belongs to
an Editor, and is used for Sharpening
Pencils, killing Reaches, opening Cham
payne Bottles, and cutting the Hearts
out OF Bad men who Come into the
office to Whale the Reporters. There is
Blood on the Blade of tho Knife, but
the Editor will Calmly Lick it off, and
then the Blade will be as Clean and
Bright as Ever. The Knife cost 70
Cents, and was imported from London,
Connecticut. IF you are Good. perhaps
the Editor will give it to you to Gut off
the Cats Tail.
HERE is Castle. It is the Home OF
an Editor. It has Stained Glass win
dows and Mahogany stairways. Infront
of the Castle is Park. Is it not sweet?
The lady in the Park is the editors vita.
She wears Costly robe of Velvet
trimmed with Gold Lace, and there are
Pearls and Rubies in her Hair. The ed
itor sits on the front stoop smoking an
Havana Cigar. His little Children are
Playing with diamond Marbles on the
Tesselated Floor. The editor can afford
to Live in Style. He gets Seventy-Five
Dollars month Wages.