The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1882-08-17
PLEAsaE9AlMA


The Arah.e for cat is "git" That
ought to be the English OF it, too
Git too?
PERsoNA1-Johu, come back all il
forgiven Pa kicked the wrong man.
He did not know it was you. Stella.
SOME one who has been there remarks
that young author lives in On attic
because one is rarely able to live on his
first story.
THE reason that baggageman re-
Gently hurled himself from fourth
story window was that he was insane,
and thought he was trunk.
"WHAr makes you look SO deathly
sick, Tommy" "Well, the fac T the
matter is, I've been taking my first
chew, and am only an amachewer."
A DUBLIN newspaper contained the
following: 81 hereby warn all persons
from trusting my wife, Ellen Flanagan,
on my account, as am not married to
her.
"No," SAID the cashier, 81 didn't
need the money. / wasn't specializing
J had no necessity for stealing it. But
hang it ! l didn't want to be called &C,
centric" ...
NOT too funny: "Dwo vas schoost
enough, budt dreo vas too blendty," re-
marked Hans, when his best girl asked
him to take her mother along with them
to dance.
NIAGARA FALLS is so brilliantly ilIum
mated by the electric light every even
ing that, after paying the hackman, you
can easily sec whether there is anything
left in your pocket.
IT is rather unpleasant to hear pub
lie speaker remark, "My friends-ur,
wish to say few words ur on this occa-
sion-ur," ETC.; but then we must remem-
Der that to ur is human.
AN Eastern man started gorgeous
"billiard parlor" out West, but neglect
ing liberal supply of spittoons it was
said his establishment did not come up
to the public expectoratiou.
THE New Haven Register gives the
following excellent directions as to how
to tell q good onion: "Hire your best
girl to eat it raw, and then call upon
her. If the onion is good your stay will
be short"
IT is feared that the enormous manu-
facture of wooden toothpicks is utterly
destroying the forests of America; but,
then, the young man who spends all his
salary tor good clothes must have some
thing to eat.
A FRENCH writer remarks, if lady
says to you, I can never love you,'
wait a little longer; all hope is not lost.
But if she says, ''No one has more sin
cere wishes for your happiness than L.
take your hat
A SOUTH AMERICAN plant has been
found that cures bashfulness. It should
be promptly tried on the man who
leaves the hotel by the back window be-
cause he is too ditiident to say good-by
to the cashier and clerk.
A FARMER living not many miles from
Toledo has the following warning con-
spicuously posted on his premises: eff
any man or woman's COWS or oxen gifts
i'll this here oats, his or her tail will be
cut off, as the case may be-"
An aged negro was one day showing
the sears of the wounds inflicted by the
lash when he was slave. "What q
piciure" exclaimed sympathizing
looker-on. eyes," responded the COL
ored brother, "dat's de work OBJ one OBJ
de Old masters.
THE Bible says, Love your neigh
boz rs yourself, the parson remarked;
but, OF course, we must not take this
lsar2lly. Il you manage to love your
! jss2bor one-hundredth part as much
aa zen DO yourselves, many of you, it
,,i}l be all that can be reasonably expect
ed Of you."
the GIGANTIC FIG TREE OF INDIA.
The majestic and mighty banyan fig
tree lords it oRer the vegetable world Of
Asia. No other tree ever measured q
tlLhe of five acres in the ground inclosed
by the circumference Of its branches,
nor afforded shelter from the sun at one
time to thousand men. Under its vast
shadows ono may stroll leisurely for
hours along avenues and footpnths Dor
dered by Towering shrubs and cooled by
gurgling streamlets. There is banyan
In Ceylon which measures 1900 feet
around the branches-more than quar-
ter OF mile.
Under the shade of still larger tree
on the banks of the Merbudda, in India,
which measures circuit of 1900 feet,
whose large trunks number 1854, whose
small ones exceed 5000, and whose foil
age makes home for thousands Of birds
and monkeys, the chief of Putnah used
to encamp in magnificent style. Here
he would entertain his guests on his
tiger-hunting expeditions. Separate
tents were gorgeously fitted up Us bod
chambers, and each guest having one
had three servants at his command. So
looms, drawing rooms. dining rooms,
smoking rooms, kitchens-all were per-
fectly appointed. Including all the an
imals and servants, there were 1000 in
dividuaIs in the retinue, yet the great
banyan easily sheltered them all. Here,
when the glow and flush OF the fierce
sun had given way to the cool dews of
evening, the guests OF the Oriental
Prince slipped their sherbet or cham
payne, and watched the movements OF
the dancing girls, while the monkeys
chartered and the night birds sang in
the LEAKAGE above, and the pale moon
shine glinted down through the open
ings in the vast roof.
When the banyan first springs up its
method Of growth is normal, and during
the first century of its life, indeed, it
shows no disposition to do anything &c