The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-05-12

He-l do, Just. Eucre eSpeciatly, anu pohoi
but knowingly you've got to play poker Tor
money big money-before you can enjoy 1t
thoroughly.
She@O, then do come up some evening and
play Bring gentleman with you, and my
sister will be SO glad.
You SEE, when play eucreI want to play egcre
and nothing but eucre.
She( you ever play whist,
He(contemptuously)- whist? Shot, have no
use for whist. Whist is too slow for me, but
gimme eucre, or poker for money-bg money.
1Her ewes are homes of silent admiration Cur
tain.)
Wit and Wisdom.
The average life of the buffalo gnat is about
fifteen DAYS, and when one of them gets hold OF
a man it is an interesting calculation to decide
how old the blamed thing is.-Lowell Citizen.
Improved Tension, Improved Take-up, En-
larged Bobbins on the Domestic y y Elm St.
Scene at Lady Bsaufort's Reception: Host
ess Ito Anglicized Bostonian)-"Can't present
YOU to Miss Van Trump from New York;" A.
B.-"Thanks. 1 think not. 1 make it point
never to meet Americans Harvard LAM
poon.
Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham, 233 Western Ave
nue., Lynn, Mass, is rapidly acquiring an en-
viable reputation for the surprising cures
which daily result from the use of her Vege-
table Compound in all female diseases. Send
to her for pamphlets.
In aesthetic circles the lily-pad has usurped
the place of the sunfower. The liver-pad,
however, holds its own as well in all circles of
society.-Atlanta Constitution
In Hot Water.
Orpha NJ Hodge, Battle Creek, Mich,
writes sI upset tea-kettle of boiling hot
water on my hand. I at once applied THoM-
AS EcLEcTRIc on, and the effect was TO i'm
mediately allay the paid. W scured in three
days"
Within an egg laid by Pennsylvania hen
was found a needle. This suggests the posi-
bility of some day producing breed of hens
that will lay railroad tracks. Philadelphia
Chronicle.
When your wifes health is bad, when your
children are sickly, when you feel worn out,
use Browns Iron Bitters.
Gutenburg, the alleged inventor of printing,
lived in six. story house, which is still stand
ing. There is rumor that Johann used to
mop each of the six floors about once week
with his Observation-Disclosures Journal
EVERY disease to which woman is liable can
be relieved by Healys Tonic Pills or Cordial.
See advt. on third page.
CEpHALINE will cure Epilepsy. Read adver-
tisement in another column.
"There are strawberries in the market ia
ther," said the lady of an Oil City house yes
terday. eyes, saw them, replied the father,
"and if they were not 80 unhealthy at this sea-
son of the year we would have some" Thus
an apt answer turneth away bankruptcy.-Oil
City Derrick.
In hospitals GLENN's SULPHUR SOAP is
largely used disinfecting and purifying
agent.
PIKE's TooTHAcHE DROPS cure in one
minute.
There are some dispensations of nature which
are not easily comprehended by the casual in
quirer, and do not become very much palmer
when carefully examined. Ono of them was
remarked upon the other day by young lady
SIT is very curious" she observed, altogether
unaccountable, indeed, that the tortoise from
whom we get all our tortoise-shell combs, has
himself no hair whatever. Boston Courier.
Liver Kidney and Brlght's Disease.
Al. Aon
of Bright's Disease, Diabetes, Kidney and Liv
or Complaints, and has power to root them out
of the system, is above all price. Such med
icine is Hop Bitters, and positive proof of this
can be found by one trial, or by asking your
neighbors, who have been cured by it.
Scene in the New York aesembiy-new mem
Der unloading his maiden speech: "Mr. Speak
erl I approach the dissection of this subject
with feelings of mingled reverence and pertur-
bation. Like the traveller dwarfed by the tow
ering turrets of the Alps, or tossed in his frail
shallop upon the seething bosom of the ocean.
I am wrapped in ave. capt in roar is more
like it," interjected caustic and jealous mem
bsr-Rome Sentinel.
There is no worse enthrallment for torment.
ed man than the exactions of a morbid nervous
condition. The overtaxed brain then gets no
rest from tranquil sleep and needs the pacify-
ing influence of DIR. G. w. Benson's Celery
and Chamomile Pills.
As he took his seat in the barber's chair he
asked the barber if he had the same razor he
had used on him two days before. Being an
swered affirmatively, the patient man said
'fthen give me chloroform. "-Scranton Repub'
lican.
Parlor Decorations.
HoRsE-SHoEs, painted plaques and Sun.
FLOWERS have each in its turn been the popu
lar parlor ornament, but are now superseded
by the TAMBoURME, which when tastefuly
decorated is very ornamental. For Is cents
the Wheat Bitters Co., 10 Park Place, New
York, will send free. a beautifully decorated
Tambourine.
Tennysons poem shows an alarming poverty
of resource. A man, now, who was posted in
the saltatory art would not have been content
| with "Hands all around" He would have
! worked in "cbassez, ''"cross over" "balancez'
"forward and back" promenade" "swing,
| an SO FORTH if he had to bust the metre to dc
l &c oil foot 40