davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

to start such, have written to persons
of note in the editorial fraternity, So
Letting free contributions. In response
to such an application the following
note was sent by bill Nye."
Your favor of the 7th inst. is receiv-
ed. 1t was glad surprise to me, be-
cause | had been asked to contribute q
facetious article to paper only 256
times since the annual business began
to boom. | have estimated that in
case | had complied with all these sug-
gestions should have written $4,000
worth of gurgling mirth within four
weeks. | could not have worried
through it without grinding out at
least ten columns per- day. When you
come to add my other duties you will
readily see that the exercise would at
times be irksome. / am the managing
editor of daily paper that requires
at least eight hours a day. | am also
a police justice with an average of
five plain, undecorated DRINKS and two
assault and batteries per day. am
also United States Commissioner, and
member of the vestry of St. Matthews
church.
BY the time | get up and cook my
breakfast and do the homework and
bring in some coal and do some mar
keting and feed the hens and deal out
s11.09 worth Of justice and write a
leader or two and read few proofs
and do the chores around the office and
lick few total strangers and get my
dinner and attend vestry meeting and
write ten or twelve columns of side,
splitting mirth on the half sheet and
go home and hold the baby a couple OF
hours, breakfast is ready, and / don't
have to go to bed at all. This saves
the wear and tear of night shirt and
keeps man out Of mischief
If you think this letter will throw
any light on the subject you are at lib
erty to use it. 1t may do great dea,
of good.
BILL NYE.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08
ASTHMA
COUGHS
COLDS

REFERENCES Senator j. g. Blaine,
Washington, d. c., VIM. f. Kidder,
New York, Chaplain G. G. McCabe,
Chicago, ILL.,, Rev. A. s. Weed, lions
Herald, also publisher Boston Pilot,
Hev. DR.. Torsey, d. d., LII. D., Kent's
Rill, Me, j. E. Field, Alpena, Mich,
and thousands of others. "The most
famous of all the medicines in the
market is Adamson's Botanic Balsam."
Springfield Republican. "The
workings of Adamson's Balsam are
daily astonishing the most eminent
physicians. Boston Journal. Sold
by oil respectable druggists and deal
ers. Price, 80 and rs cts. "New
trial size" 10 cts. +. w. KINsMAN g.
Co., Proprietors. Augusta, Me 518.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08
The Jack Rabbit.

He is not q rabbit at all. A rabbit
is an inobtrusiye little animal, who is
found by school boys in a hole in the
ground, at the end of long track in
the snow. The so-called jack-rabbit is
quite different kind of soup meat.
His averdupois is about fifteen pounds,
and ears measure, from tip to tip, about
sixteen inches. He does not burrow in
the ground. He lies under cover of a
bunch of prairie grass, but is very sell
dom found at home, his office hours
being between sunset and sunrise. He
is to be found during the day on the
open prairie, where he feeds ON the
tender shoots of the mesquite or sage
grass. He has two ways of protecting
himself against his enemies. One way
is to squat, when he suspects danger,
and fold his ears along his side. By
doing this he often escapes observation,
as only his back is exposed, the color
of which harmonizes with the brown
of the withered grass. The other plan,
that he uses when discovered and pur-
sued, is to create remoteness between
himself and his pursuer. In giving his
whole attention to this matter, when
necessary, he is stupendous success,
and is earnest to fault. When dis
turbed he unlimbers his long legs, un-
furls his ears and goes off with bound.
He generally stops after running about
hundred yards and looks back to see
if his pursuer is enjoying the chase as
much as he thought he would, and then
he leaves for parts unknown. There
are many fast things, from an ice-boat
to a note maturing in the bank but
nothing to equal jack-rabbit. An
unfounded rumor gets around pretty
lively, but could not keep up with him
for two blocks. When an ordinary
cur dog tries to expedite jack-rabbit
route he makes humiliating failure of
it. He only gives the rabbit gentle
exercise. The latter merely throws up
his ears, and, under easy sail. skins
leisurely along, lacking occasionally to
give the funeral procession time to
catch up. But if you want to see We
locity, urgent speed and precipitate
haste, you have only to turn loose q
greyhound in the wake af a jack-rab-
bit. Pursued by greyhound he will
"let himself out" in manner that
will astonish prepaid halfrate mes
sage. If he is rabbit that has never
had any experience with greyhound
before, he will start off at an easy pace,
but as he turns to wink dcrisely at
what he supposes to be an ordinary
yellow dog, he realizes that there is q
force in nature hitherto unknown to
him, and his look of establishment,
alarm and disgust as he furls his ears
and promptly declines the nomination,
is amusing. Under such circumstances
he goes too fast for the eye to follow
his movements, and presents the Opt.
cal illusion of jackrabbit mile and q
half long.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

A dramatic and musical paper in
Buenos Ayres has the terrifying name
of THE Mosquito" We wonder how
often it presents its bill Musical
Herald. IF the nets account good it
will never present its bill.-Tradc Re-
view.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Very kind drug clerk to little girl
"Now, be sure you tell your papa to
take this medicine according to the di-
rections on the bottle; an over dose
might affect the BRAIN" Little girl
"Oh, Iguess there is no danger of that,
for I've heard mamma tell him lots of
times he never had any brains. "-Yon-
kers Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Mr.. Alfred de SIEVE is making many
concert engagements.-Boston Score.
Should Alfred de SIEVE manager once,
he would probably find it difficult to
make another engagement.-Richmond
Baton.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

"There p triumphantly exclaimed a
Deadwood editor, as a bullet came
through the window and shattered the
inkstand, 81 knew that new Personal
column would be success.-San Fran
cisco Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

lagher. The reason that he soon after
heaved spittoon at Ragbag's head
was that the latter asked: GLOW long
would it take man, not fool, to
learn ?'-Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Hens scratch up flower beds only
when they are barefooted. That's why
women run out and "shoo" the hens
to keep them from doing damage
New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

English joke: An actor playing
"Rob Roy" in small town in Scot.
land, was hailed by voice in the gal.
lery, "Whaur's your accent, mon p
He replied, you've got it."-Boston
Score.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Proper name for horse railroad
Misunderstanding Times
For poultry dealer-Hennery. Fol
musician-Tony. For dyspeptic-
o l-liver.-The Boston Score.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

The New York Mercury calls Anna
Dickinson stage struck woman. She
seems to have struck it about righs
this winter.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Differs says that young lady on
his street plays the piano with good
deal of feeling-around after the right
keys.-Yawcob Strauss.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Things get strangely mixed in thi:
world. An unmusical friend of ours
says that French horn is pony o.
STANDARDIZATION Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Some singers sing solo that they can
not be heard, while others duet still
worse. They should trio-ver and over
again, for practice makes perfect.--St.
Louis Hornet.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

"Liel" shouted old Mowers, as he
smashed his fist down on the table.
"Liep Why, he can lie like a show
bill.-Fort Plain Register.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

An accordion is like vain glorious
man. He can be drawn out easily
enough, but the trouble begins when
you try to shut him up.-Detroit Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

II 60 against my WILL" murmured
she sweetly, as she fondly leaned on
Williams arm, as they meandered to
the theatre.-Springfeld News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

If Anna Louise Cary marries Mr..
Lorillard, the tobacco man, we may
expect to see "fne cut" of the couple
in the illustrated newspapers.-Nor-
ristoMn Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08
Starting a PAPER on Cheek.

During the past year several individ-
uals publishing obscure and we'll nigh
worthless sheets, and others designing
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

The Burlington Hawkeye states that
Kate Claxton is now performing to a
very small audience. 1t is girl
Philadelphia News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Generous to fault" may be said
of many men. At least they are gen.
erous enough to their own faults
Lowell Citizen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

IT'S easier to brave public opinion
than to oppose the will of your second
wife. We've never tried the latter,
however. Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

A Derby doctor killed fox, and the
Derby Transcript sardonically remarks:
"The doctor means business when he
gets after 'em."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

An old maid says it is bad enough
for men. to get married without fools Of
women initiating them.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

As any man might be compelled to
eat his own words, he should never in
dulge in bitter speeches.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Spigot.-"Don't you think young
Flat has music in his soul ?" Orgott.
Yes, when he wears new shoes. -
Phila. Item.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

ANY fool can learn to play upon
Jewsharp in ten minutes 1t took me
no longer time than that" said Gal
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

There is no mistake about ia mu-
steal instrument gives tone to a home
Cambridge Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Opera cloaks should be made on
Singer Observation-Disclosures Chron-
icle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

If man knew as much about himself
as he does about his neighbor, he would
never speak to himself-Whitehall
Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Of all shares, pillow shares are the
most reliable. They always turn up
somethipp.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

A mailed knight must have required
good many postage stamps to carry
him through successfully.--Boston
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Despise the man who is willing tc
trust you. He's the fellow who gets
YOU into debt.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08
WIT AND HUMOR.

A lover has all the qualities hus-
band has not.-Balzac.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Experience is school where man
learns what big fool he has been,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08
Canada Southern Railway,

Canada.
The popular route to Buffalo, Niagara Fsl lis, New
York, Boston, and all points east, steel rail- smooth
truck, no curves, low grade, Westngf ouse Air
Brake and superior equipment, making it the ia
vorite line from Michigan to the eass. I rains
leave Detroit as follows:
Atlantic Express, daily, 900 m
Day Express daily, 1900 IN
Lightning EXP, daily, except Sunday, ll;l0 IN
Toledo EXP, daily, except Sunday, $50 IN
ST. Louis Exp, daily, A;l0 p IN
Fayette Exp, daily, except Sunday, 6;30 y IN
Cincinnati Exp, daily except Sunday, $3.50 p m
Wagner Palace Cars on all trains. Agents
will telegraph for berths, etc. Tickets and oil in
formation furnished by
A. +. FLETCHER, Agent, Alpena.
W. l.. MUIR, NJ. c. ROACH.
Gen. Manager. Pass Agent, Detroit
+. e SNOW, @. p. & T. A., Detroit.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-02-08

Business Cards. one year, dollar ron me.
Local Notices ten cents per limo for eaoha srtion
and all notices continued for three months or longer
discount of rs per cent.
Advertisements unaccompanied 10y verbal or written
directions will be published three months.
Advertisements, under contract ordered out be-
fore expiration of time, will be charged full rates
No paper discontinued until all nrrearages are paid
except at the option of the publisher.
Transient adyorts monte must be paid in advance.
R1-rerms CASH payable quarterly.
Only Metal Cuts inserted.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-20

that the old man might have thought of
helping him. it would require at least
five thousand pounds"
The host smiled. Said he:
"Mr. B, have confidence in Won
you have the money. You shall have it
while you want il, and on your own
terms. DO not think arl wild. have
made sure of your character; and know
you to be an honorable, right-minded,
true-hearted man."
The young merchant, happier than he
had been for long time, at length sat
at the old mans table, where he was in
PRODUCED TO the wife and an only daugh-
ter. The host had told his guest that
during his years of misfortune four chill
dren had died. This daughter, now
nineteen, was his youngest, and had
been spared to him. She knew not her
fathers business; and the guest had
been warned not to expose it inner hear
ing.
After dinner the young lady sat down
at the piano-forte; and in the course Of
the evening Mr.. B. joined his voice
with hers in a duet. Before he left,
with check for five thousand pounds
in his pocket, he had promised that he
would call again.
In one month from that time the
young merchant asked the old mendi-
cant for the hand of his daughter; and
it would be hard to tell which was the
happier of the two the supplicant,
when he had been answered in the af-
firmative, or the father, when he knew
that his beloved child had secured
for life companion man in whom he
had, from the very first, felt trust and
confidence which had grown stronger
day by day.
On the day that the nuptial contract
was signed the old beggar on the street
corner settled upon his daughter fifty
thousand pounds; and put away his
rags and his bent shoulders foreverl
And the merchant, through a long and
prosperous career, found new cause, day
after day, and year after year, to bless
the fortunate misfortune that had led
him to an acquaintance with the street
beggar!-N. Y. Ledger.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-20
PIN PIES,

will mail lfreel the recipe for simple Vegetable
Balm than will remove tan, freckles, pimples and
blotches leaving the skin SOFT clear and beautiful
also instructions for producing luxuriant growth
of hair on bald head smooth face. Address, en-
closing Sc. stamp, BEN. vANDELF CO., " Bar
clay ST., New York 549yl
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-20
ALPENA WEEKLY ARGUS.
MISCELLANEOUS.
SIMMER NOON

The landscape stepped in drowsy languors lies;
A CULVER in transparent waves. the air
Enamels all the scene; the sapphire skies
Are hecked with cloudlets floating here and
there
The sluggish pulse of life seems beating low;
The hour is strangely still, no bird-song floats
From stirless branches where n while ago
Warbled such music from such happy threats
Only bee-song, among clover sweets
Droned In the intervals of lazy flight,
sound more silent still than silence Rreets
My dreamy senses, and there floats in sight,
Then out of sight, gaudy butterfly;
And from beneath q weed an insect trills
His one heart-song, scarce louder than a sight
II sigh or song his little heart il fills.
Soft waves of shade, with riffs of light between,
In silent ripples like a baby's smile
In Sleep stray up and down the meadows green,
Dappled with daisies; and muse the while
With songless, stirless lips and folded hands,
And dream the spirit of this regal time
Comes gayly tripping from fair tropic lands
With ardent whispers of the sunny cline.
o y, enitude of sweets! o summer noonl
Ger bee and bird, DER weed and flower and me,
wizard spell Is wrought, but all too soon
The hour is fled, but not its poetry,
Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-20
MORTGAGE SALE.

Default having been made in the terms and con-
ditions of certain ndenture of mortgage, bearing
date the 2Sth day of June, A ID. 1850, and executed
by and between Joseph U. D'Aigle and Lucef
DAigle his wife, of the first part and Philip Rou-
eau of the second part and duly recorded in the Office
of the Register of Deeds for the county of Apena,
en- the LIST day of June, A. ID. 1880, in Liber / OF
Mortgages, on page 592 by which said default the
power of sale in said mortgage contained has be-
come operative, and il being claimed that there is
now due and unpaid, ut the date hereof said
mortgage, the sum of siXty-ve dollars and twenty
six cents s65.26 for principal and interest, toget
with attorney fee of twenty dollars (s20.00,l
provided for in said mortgage, and no suit or pro-
ceedng either at law or in equity, having been in
stitutod TO recover the amount secured by said
mortgage, or any pdr thereof, now, therefore;
Notice is hereby given, that on the
LIST day of March, A. ID. 1883,
At two o'clock in the afternoon of said day, at
Alpena, county of Alpena and State of Michigan,
that being the building in which the Circuit Court
for said county in which said mortgaged premises
are situated is held, there will be sold at public
auction, TO the highest bidder, the premises de-
scrbed in said mortgage, or so much thereof a.
may be necessary to satisfy the said debt the inter-
est thereon and said attorney fee and all costs and
charges allowed by law. Said mortgaged premises
are situated in the city of Alpena, county of Alpe-
ma, State of Michigan, and described follows
All that piece or parcel of land described in said
mortgage as follows, to-wit: Lot 4, in block p OF
Carter's addition to the city of Apena, according
10 the recorded plat thereof
PHILIP RoUIEAU,
II. j. KELLEY, Mortgagee
Attorney for Mortgagee. 50lwl3
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-20
SALE.

In pursuance and by virtue of final decree of
the Circuit Court for the county of Alpena, made
and entered on the Goth day of October, 1882,
in a cause wherein Henry Tigchon is complainant,
and Jason II. Young, and James III. Cincair and
John McLenen are defendants
Notice is hereby given that will sell at public
auction or yendue, TO the highest bidder, at ten
o'clock in the forenoon of the
2lst day OF December, A. ID. 1ss2,
At the front door of Johnson's brick block, on
Water street, in the city of Alpena, in Alpena
county, Michigan that being the building In which
the Circuit Court for said County is heidi all the
right, title and interest of said defendants, and
each of Them in and 20 that certain piece parcel
of land situate in the City OF Alpena, county of
Alpena, and State OF Michigan, and described az
follows, to-wit: Lot number ten ll0l, in Block
eleven 4 n, according 20 the recorded plat of the
village, now city, of Alpena, county OF Apena and
State of Michigan
Dated, Alpena, November 9th, 1882.
JAMES A. BOGGs,
j. ID. TURNBULL, Circuit Court Commissioner.
Sol'r for Complainant. 5sSw6
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-12-20
Notice.

To whom IL may concern:
Notice is hereby given, by the undersigned free
holders of the township of Alpena, in the county
OF Alpena, that application will be made to the
Board of Supervisors, OF said county of Alpena, at
their next meeting, TO be held on the 4th day of
January in the year 1883, to erect and provide for
the organization of new township, TO be called
the township of Long Lake, and to embrace the
following described territory, to.wit: Sections g. 7,
s, l6. IL, rs, 49, 90 81 % 81 %, 90 80 81 49, 49, a.
and fractional sections s. and 10, all in township
thirty-two 1922 north, OF range eight s east, also
sections 3, O. 6 s. o, 10, II, Is, 10, 20, and the
north half of sections Is and i6 Of township thirty
one 1911 north, of range eight Sl east.
Leon Meanwhile. Peter Benac
Oliver Mallion. Morice Hunealt.
Barney Robert. Usebe Desharmeau.
Joseph Laport. g. Tucker
George Bishop. Napoleon Mallioux
Alex. Reymont. Thomas Ross.
Seyvile MalliouX. Alex. Vaseur.
Edward Mallioux. David Morris.
Antoine Trakey. Noise Beshard
Joseph Gasmen. Joseph Nephew.
Samuel Gerare. Oliver Potvin.
John Gerare.
Dated this 5th day of December, A. ID. 1882