davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1882-10-12

A Sure Cure for ali FEMALE WEAK
NEsSES, Including LeucOrrh9a, Ir-
regular aud Fail,fCI EEeustruationa
Inflammation and liberation Of
the yYOEmbs FIOodings Pro-
LAPSUS UTERI, &c
tgP1easant to the taste, eficacious and immediate
effect. 1t is great nep IN pregnancy and re-
ieves pain during labor and at regular periods.
PHYSICIANS Use IT AND PRESCRIBE IT FREELY.
gFoR ALI, W5AKg sEs Of the generative organs
of either SEX it isse Ito no remedy that has ever
been before the pubic; and for all diseases of the
KIDNEYS it is the Greatest Remedy IN the EorId
KIDNEY COMPLAINTS Of Either Sex
Find Great Reiiefiu Its Use.
LYDIA Z. PTNKHABI's BLOOD PURIFIER
Blood at the same time VIII give tone and strength
the system. AsInarVeous in results as the Compound
tzy-Both the Compound and Blood Purifier are pre-
pared at 2S3 and 235 Western Avenue, Lynn Mass.
Price of either, 81. Six bottles for S. The Compound
is sent by mail in the form of pills of lozenges
receipt of price, 81 per box for either. Mrs. Pnkham
freely all letters Of inquiry. Enclose cent
stamp. Send for pamphlet. Mention this Paper.
sErLYDIA E. PINKHAM's LIVER PILLS cure Constipas
ton, Bousness and Iorpdty of the Liver. 20 cents
R5-sOld by all Druggists. T9a @
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
A Beautiful Incident.

A young man who had leen on q
three days debauch wandered into the
reading room of hotel where he was
we'll known. sat down, and stared
moodily into the street. Presently u
little girl of about ten years came in,
and looked timidly about the room.--
She was dressed in rags, but had Il
sweet, intelligent face that could scarce
y fail to excite sympathy. There were
five persons in the room, and she went
to each begging. One gentleman gave
her five-cent piece, and she went to
the gentleman spoken of, and asked
him for penny, adding, 4 haven't
had anything to eat for q whole day.
The gentleman was out of humor, and
he said Grossly, Don't bother me; I
haven't had anything to eat in three
days The child opened her eyes in
shy wonder, and stared at him for u
moment, and then walked slowly to-
ward the door. She turned the knob,
and then, after hesitating q few sec
onds, walked up to him, and gently
laying the five cents on bis knee, said,
with tone Of girlish pity in her voice,
If you haven't had anything to eat
for three days, you take this and 60
and buy you some bread. Perhaps |
can get more somewhere The young
young man blushed to the roots of hi
hair, and. lifting the child in his arms,
kissed her two or three times in delight.
Then he took her 10 the persons in the
room, and those in the corridor and
office, and asked contributions, himself
giving all the money he had with him.
He succeeded in raising over forty dol
lars and sent the little one on her wav
rejoicing.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
Good Advice.

A Young lady writes to Brick Pom
erv as follows:
Would be safe in marrying man
" hom | love and who processes to love
me, and is handsome, we'll educated
and las plenty of the worlds goods,
but is addicted to strong drink, yet
saws he will abstain after marriage,
when he has sowed his wild oats. an
an orphan, aud write you as friend
advice
Pomeroy answered about as follows
You had better getinto your coffin
pull down the lid yourself, and b'
C. nsecrated to your mother earth, thar
to marry man who drinks. Their
are thousands of poor women who's
lives are wrecthcd by listening to tn
promise of reformation after marriage
If you DO not want to get into you
coffin. take the most foul obnoxiou
pieces of old meat that you can fin
and take it to your bosom for = hu'
, band rather than marry a man ho
, Ge>auched, degraded and debased b
strong drink.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
The Travelled Lady.

A jaunt over railway is often as
good as trip to the minstrels. Last
week We took u spin over the Michigan
Central, and during our waking mo-
ments were highly edited, amused and
instructed by the tone and conversa-
ton of two ladies in the seat forninst
our own, across the aisle and abaft the
pinnacle. The variety of their intel
ligence and vast fund of general in
information attracted our attention,
and we just sat there and drank it all
in like cold truth from living spring.
DO you suppose they have brakes
on this train = inquired the one mex.
the window with bronze green plume
in her hat.
oh, yes, they run 'em now on all
trains
What are they for?'
'Oh, they are to ventilate the car
and give 'em more fresh air. l heard
.indeed! This Il ~, wonderfair ancrit :ee. se Z.
Did you ever ride in chair carr?
'Oh, yes, they are just the incest
kind Of cars. Some Of 'em are real easy,
too have rockers on 'em. But / like
a sleeper the best
Yes, they are more homeliks and
comfortable. If any accident happens
they unhook the sleeper and leave it
at the last station
why, my! How nicev
Yes, and the sleeper is much more
comfortable to ride in because it don't
90 as fast as the rest of the train
1T don't!'
%, no. Charles says the Pullman
Company won't allow the railroads to
haul the sleepers near so fast as the
balance Of the cars
Why, how strange!
Yes, very
What do you suppose makes the
cars sway 90, back and forth?'
%, heard the company had been
experimenting lately with rockers on
the cars. It's something to do with
conclusion and rstraction Of the e1-
pansive compression, or something OF
that kind
What wonderful age!
1T is, really. And these accident in
surance companies are great improve
ment over the old style Of travelling.
Charles says all first-class roads carry
them nowadays, and it makes one so
much more secure to know that they
, are on the same train with one Of them.
They are worked by electricity, and
must cost awful high don't you think
. so?
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
Nobody Will See It.

A short time ago We called upon {
certain party in business and asked
him why he did not advertise.
'Oh, because he answered, what
the uses Nobody will ever see it,
You're mistaken We said; ever,
page in our paper is read
Nonsense, he replied even if they
did read my ad., people would never
think Of it again. don't want tt
advertise
But
No butts at all. | don't want t.
advertise, aud don't bother me any
more I'm busy and he walked bacl
into his store and strangled poor fly
that WAS helping itself from barre
Of sugar.
I Time passed, and we never again in
timat,d advertisement to him, though
meeting HIM daily. Yesterday the
gentleman called at our sanctum
/ looking a lie uncertain as to how be
would be Hcslyed. We cherished nc
haro feelings against him, and motion
ed him to a chair.
4 suppose you heard of that little
affair OF mine below
oh, yes, we said; that little esca-
pace nigh, before last: Yes, we've
got all the particulars
Hush not SO loud, please, said he,
'ot course you are going to say nothing
IN the paper about it,
And Why not? It's matter Of in
terest to your friends and the people
generally.
Heavens, Why it would ruin me. ,
Oh, no, guess hot; nobody will ever
see it,
Yes, they will; and it will ruin me,
as sure as am sitting here. I'll te
the laughing stock Of the town. They
will see it,
We rose and touched him impress
slvel y on the shoulder.
Well We will admit that the people
will See II +; but then, you know, they
will never think of it again.
His words came back 10 him like q
flash, and he trembled so violently
that his eyeballs fairly jungled, and
he was such All object of commlsera-
tion that We promised to keep mum.
This little moral is drawn from the
Al ose, which is applicable the world
over: Ask man 10 advertise and he
will immediately say, in the majority
uf ousrs .Noho dy with ever see it );
diateIy i;5;s grows Indignant otttii lsrv dt'-
tantv tha, the whole world will know
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
A Confederate Christmas Dinner.

1t is to be hoped that " hile the tasl
is still possible some competent obser
yer may take up the subject of Christ
mas at the South as it was before tht
surrender The traditions of the Eng
llsh festival were perpetuated there al
they were not in Puritan New England
and in a different climate and amid
the surroundings Of African slavery
the Southern Christmas adopted new
and noteworthy features.
Mr. James D. McCabe has recorded
some interesting experiences of Christ
mas under the Con tederacy. The din
ner of 1861, he says, did not differ ma
terlally from its predecessors in the
piping times of peace and though IN
1861 the feast was homemade, it was
enjoyable. Turkeys were only $I1 a.
riece, and salt had fallen to SO cents
a pound. The Yule log was obtain
able at $l5 cord; wines were to be
had by the very rich, and sorghum,
rum or apple, peach or blackberry
brandy cost $50 gallon. A few toys
were left in the stores in the cities, and
fire crackers, essential to the Southern
festival, were S. pack.
BY 1868 the closest search of Santa
Claus revealed no playrhlngs, and fire
crackers indi, ated great wealth or q
reckless extravaganza. The few tur-
keys in the market were $40 or $50 a.
piece whiskey. or sorghum, rum for
egg nog cost SIS or $50 gallon; su-
gar was SIS and $40 pound, and -four
$l25 bsrrel. With gold at So, 800 a
plain Christmas dinner for large TAM
lily ,ost $500 or $780,
la 1864 when Christmas fell on Sun
day, gold was at 5000. Flour was 5000
barrel; 81 an ounce; salt, 81 pound;
butter $50; beef, $35 to $40. Wood
was 500 cord. Mr.. McCabe de-
scribes Christmas dinner at a coun-
try house near Richmond. The four
gentlemen were in uniform, the three
ladies were in homespun. They had
for dinner a $500 ham, and tie last
turkey on the plantation, value $175,
with 800 worth Of cabbage, potatoes
and hominy. Corn bread was served,
made Of meal at $50 bushel and salt
at 81 u pound. The desert was black
moiasses at $50 gallon. and one cup
OF t'a-real tea, worth 500 pound.
treasured for the occasion as . sur.
prise, and not sassafras-there was
coffee at discretion, made from sweet
potatoes cut in little squares 5, toasted
and ground down.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
He Knocked of -Four.

In riding over the lost Mountain
from Mari.tta, ! came across young
man who WAS digging post koIes Tor
barbed wire fence. and when l toid
him what wanted, he replied:
I'll 60 with YOU. | was in that
fout mvself, and kin point out every
posi;i H..
When ue reached the ground, he
began telling here this and that re-
piment was .tutior ed, and finally ne
halted beside huge boulder and said,
Right here, stranger, was where l
.qua,ted for four long hours. l rest
ed nv gun right thar on that ledge,
and r, exon | killed exactly twenty
eight Yanks that day
No.
Solemn fact, and | know y dozen
men who'll swear TO It,
Lets see: This battle was fought
/ in 1862
'k'rect you are. =.
That's about eighteen years ago: ::
.Jist about
anu YOU ais aOtut ~ 'N"'S
Il was % this spring.
Then | looked Ut him long time
but he never WINGED. When We were
going home, and after long period o
silence. he suddenly remarked:
Stranger, don't you believe ! wal
thar
Perhaps YOU were, but you see yo'
were not quite : years old on the da..
Of that fight
That's what I've been figuring on,
he continued in very serious voice
and I'll tell you what I'm willing tt
do
I'll call it twenty-four instead o
twenty eight dead lanks in front o
nv p sition. That's fair, isn't 1t;
l told him that nothing could b.
!. more liberal. and cordial relations wer
at once re-established.-H quad.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
Three Times Three.

Three thing, to love-courage, gen.
tleness and affection.
Three things to hate-cruelty, arro-
gance and ingrstitude.
Three things to like-cordiality,
good humor and mirthfulness.
Three things to avoid-idlenes',
loquaci:y and tlippant jesting.
Three things to cultivate-good
books, good friends and good humor.
Three things to contend for-honor,
country and friends.
Three things to govern-temper,
tongue and conduct.
Three things to think about-life,
death and eternity.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15

They believed in useful wives in the
old days. Half century ago, no girl
raised on y farm was deemed fit to be
married until her bedding, clothing,
window curtains, towels, table cloths,
and every article of domestic manu-,
facture, were made with her own hand
in quantities sufficient for respectable
housekeeping. Young men then who
made visits to families for specific pur-
poses, were ingenious in finding out
the domestic character Of the mother
before they committed themselves to
the daughter. On their way to their
future homes. the young husbsnd s'd
wife might have been seen on farm
wagon with load of furniture. The
chairs, table, bureau, kitchen utensils
and q few other articles were the gifts
Of her parents; but every article for
home wear, were made with her own
hands.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
ANY More Left.

A dozen years ago farmer came
into Detroit with lead of potatoes
fe,a nlil!eeiT Va. Go s-rraoer disnnta
and left the grocer with black eye.
The grocer was a man who meant to
keep even with all men. He therefore
took his affidavit to whip that agricul-
tural toiler within an inch of bis life,
and the longer he waited the madder
he got. At the end of month seeing
no prospect Of catching the farmer in
town, the grocer procured horse and
buggy and drove out to the farm to
have it out. When within three miles
of the place he encountered = man on
the highway and inquired:
Can you tell me where old Shver
lives:' .,
Yes; going to buy cattle OF him 2
No. sir: I'm going to pound HIM
out Of his boots:'
Il guess not. I'm old Stiver's SOL
and you've got to whip me 6rst!
The grocer jumped out and battle
resulted. He polished the son OFT, but
il was = tight squeeze. tie had not
gone half a mile when man wal
husking corn near the fence hailed
him with: .
Did you have fight down there /:
Yes
who whipp'd:'
4 did
"Well that was my brother you wer
fighting and may be you think yo'
can mash me too!
A second fight took place, and prov
ed draw. The grocer was somewha
discouraged, having several loose teetI =
and /. nose rs big as his wrist, but d
drove on to the next house, A straE
ping fellow about 26 years old wa
cutting wood at the gate, and tn
, grocer drew up and asked:
How far is it to Stiver's?'
which Stiver?'
why, the old liar Stivers.
.Stanger, the man who speaks tha
+ wav of my old dad has got to b
ponnded,' remarked the chopper, an
a third fight was soon on the board
This time the grocer had his fill an
after brushing the grass out of HI
hair, he asked:
How far is it to Mr.. John Stiver's
Two miles
'One more question. Eve met an
fought with three of his sons. Is ther
another living between here and til
. old man's:'
! Another? Why, there are thre
and besides the e are two single ont
:, at home who could turn you wronI
i. side ont in twenty seconds!
:, n The grocer drove slowly back to Il
4 city and went t. bed for = week. ii
mistake was in not waiting to cate
.. the old man home some time when
the boys were off fishing.-Defr'
~ Free Press.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15

Love makes many right arm 60 to
paiSt
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15

SUFFER

no longer from Dyspep-
STA, Indigestion, want OF
Appetite loss Of Strength
lack Of Energy, Malaria,
Intermittent Fevers, &c.
BROWNS IRON BIT
TIERS never fails to cure
all these diseases.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
To Perfume Note Paper.

To perfume note paper, get few
quires of blotting paper and sprinkle
the sheets with the perfume desired,
then put them under weight until
they become dry. When dry put note
paper, envelopes, etc., between the
sheets and place them under weight
for a few hours; when removed they
will be found perfumed. The blot.
ting sheet may be utilized again, and
can be made to retain their perfume
for a long time by keeping them free
! from exposure to air,
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15

But SIR. .hs dsn't love him

but SIR. ste cen l'NS ltH'
.pshau'' snarIrd Uncle N.hur--
.Asd If she don't mary him ST. II be
tegcar -I'll give her no money "i
mine. Nov vou undrrs'snd matters.
Marry her or not. ~ YOU p1e.se
( He took up the Isrc' once more
tacit iutims;Ion that the inict'ie"
was Al an end.
I NSlr.' began Mr.. Bourne.
/ .rha,m do thsrder,d Mr. Nixon.
And so NJ. MarlnGdu.e Bourne vent
away.
Lite F.i,h Nixon cane down To
her uncle pres, t'y-a blue eyed oi's
som Of SRI. with yellow haIr gro"
ling low on her forehead, aud very
little mouth. exactly the shaps to srg-
g-st ,h,. idea # Kissing.
Uncle Nahum looked keenly up Nj
her as she fluttsred about tie room
straighreuing table cover here oI
patting down IA curtain fold there.
Yes said he, with curious t"itch
I,f the muscles around his eyes, he
has been here.
IL didn't ask any questions, | n
Gle Nahum.
No. but your eycs DID, chuckIee
the old man. ,'He wants to marry yo'
the inprovil.nt Young donkey
Faith came TO her uncle s chair AM
laid her hand lightly on his shoulder
That isn't ihe worst Of 1t, neil
Nahum ant 10 marry HIM.
'Humph" snGled MIR. Nixon, II
high contempt. And what DO yo'
expect to live on, | should like to INT
out =
We can both work. said Faith yer
bravelv.
You are nore likely to ssarve, sal
Mr.. Nixon. Mind, don't count o
help from me. If you will get MAJ
ried, YOU will do it AT your own risk
Then YOU consent, Uncle Nahum
No roared the old bachelor. Nc
thing of the sort
But, Uncle Nahum. | should b
wretched without Duke, softly pleat
ed Faith.
.Fiddlestrings ' said the old man.
And I'm cure he couldn't live Will
out me-
Trash" gruntcd Nixon.
.And if YOU please, Uncle, adde
, Faith. perhaps Id better go to II
. friend Violet Smiths to make up II
wedding things, since you disappro
, so decidedly Of my plans. She NV
in New York, you know, and 1t WI
be convenient for shopping and :
, and for all other tomtooleries
. general rudely interrupted the Q
e gen,leman. Yes, 90 to your Vol
: Smiths but don't expect to come he
:. again
: NO, uncle said Faith moekly
sBut you'll let me thank you Tor
J your kindness, and
=. NO, | won't said unnc'e Nehu
2 !, 80 short that poor Faith fled up sta
I. in dismay and had quiet little C
} notwithstanding she was so very,v'
- happy.
For Uncle Nahum, brusque and
grabbed though he was, was AL the
ther she had ever knS.n. But {
r, packed her trunk and went to VIC
w Smiths in New York, which was
the pleasanter, in that Marmadl
Bourne had also betaken himself
nm that modern Gotham |aad gone t" w
y studying law as if he meant to t
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15

the bridal quadrille, dancing in the
good old style Of fifty years ago.
Il don't lave a wedding every day,
said Uuncle Nahum, breathlessly, as
he cut one last pigeon wing, and l
mean to make the most Of it,
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
4 sflfrt Etury.
Unc,e Nahum's Wedding.

Uncle Nahum Nixon was reading
the paper in his back parlor. Nobody
would think, to look at the simple sur
roundings of the unpreentious apart.
ment. that Mr.. Nahum was one Of the
wealthIest men in town. The carpe
il was true, was Administer, but it had
seen twenty Years of good service, and
was worn down to the very warp; the
faded red curtains were of more in,
stead of satin damask /; the old cloGi
on tie mantal was no"farisiaA affair
of alabaSter and gilt, but "a substas
tIal Connecticut time piece that told
the hour with whirr, like a partrigs
sprInging cut of her nest; the chairs
of old fashioned mahogany aud hair
cloth stood bolt upright against the
wall; the portraits of Gen Washing
ton on horseback and the surrender
of CORVALLIS ornamental the gray
pap red walls in frasleS of somhre gilt
and the one elegance Of the apartment
was a casket of prepost'rous flowers
under cracked glass shade.
I But Uncle Nixon had rem. mtered
that furniture ever since he was n
child. aud he wouldn't have sxchang-
sd for the fittings Of Partisan bou-
doir. or the choicest specimens of the
modern Eastlahe pattern. lie Was u
rich man-that was quite enough. for
him.
IF you please, Mr.. Nixon, said the
NJ \
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-12-15
Boston. November 26, 1851.

Boston, November 2o, 1851.
BROwS CHEMICAL Co.
Gentlemen For years I have
been great sufferer from dyspepsia.
and could get no relief (having tTied
everything which was recommend
edl until. acting on the advice Of
friend, who had been benefited by
BROWNS lRoS BIITERS, tried a
bottle, with most surprising results.
Previous to taking BRow>'s IRoS
BITIERS. everything ate distressed
me. and suffered greatly from a
burning sensation in the stomach,
which was Uubcarabic. Since tax
ing BsowN'S lRoS BITTERs. all my
troubles are at an end. Can eAtany
time without any dlSagreeable re-
suits. | am practically another
person. Mrs. W J FLYs~.
% Maverick St, l. Boston.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1882-03-14

AT the request of Mrs. Garfield and under
the direction of ex-Postmaster General James,
there has been prepared for presentation to the
Queen of England frame containing the first
proof of the new five cent stamp, United States
postage, known as the " Garfield stamp" The
portrait Of President Garfield upon the stamp is
an approved likeness. engraved by the American
Bank-Note Company from photographs selected
by Mrs. Garfield, who also selected the coler
which was adopted by the Post-off1ce Department
for the printing of the stamps. The frame con-
sists Of mat of sterling silver, upon which is
engraved an exquisite border OF fine geometric
lathe-work. This is surrounded by rod of solid
gold nearly quarter Of an inch in diameter, cut
in bariey-corn work of new design, With brilliant
facets by Joaquin. The rod separates the silver
from the royal purple velvet upon the concaye
portions of the frame, which is of fine ebony
glass plate, with bevelled edges, covers ell ex-
cept The ebony, and the whole is enclosed In q
cedsr-wood box, mounted with silver, and lined
with royal purple velvet. l'I
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1882-03-14

We believe that history proves that the small
er the farms ofany locality the greater tbeprosper-
ty Of the people If this Is true there Is valuable
lesson In It. As 8 rule small farms are better
titled than large ones. There is . disposition
among American people TO acquire large guam
ties Of land, especially when II 10 50 easily OBJ
tanned Would 1t not be better 10 cultivate or
improve quarter section thoroughly than TO
butcher over q half section Large farms are
generally carried on by q system of tenancy,
which can never be brought up TO The same
standard with farms occupied by their proprie-
tors, andwe believe II Is practically demonstrated
by facts that small farms occupied by their own
ers conduce 10 the greatest prosperity Of q com
munity.
Every person who keeps chickens should
raise garden peppers. A tea made by boiling
them In water and added to boiled potatoes or
corn-meal dough Is said TO be sure preventa-
tive of cholera In fowls m