davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
A Comnlicated Casa.

A Toronto man, troubled with inces.
SAINT ringing in his ears, awoke at about
A o'clock the other morning, and, after
listening for some time to very mo.
notonous whistle, came to the conclusion
that the sound came from his own brain
and was caused by excessive smoking
He resolved to give up the filthy habit
The noise not ceasing ne arose and took
dose of bromide in the hope of getting
rid of the annoying sensation A little
later he discovered that the whistling
came from the lake and not from his
head. The anti-tobacco resolutions were
refused a second reading. Then the
fear that there was Il steamer on fire
took possession of his mind, and he
FASTENED down to the bay only to find
that the cause of the unusual disturbance
which he had taken bromide to allay
was fog whistle. Had he not discov-
cred the eXtra-cranial source of the
whistlng the fog whistle on the island
might have cured an inveterate smoker,
and new and novel application OF
coast warnings would have been found.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28

"Well, what do you hear about the
KeydiveP' said a Last Chance man yes
terday in front of the postotlice.
Hes having quite picnic asnear as
| can get at it. Old Gum Arabic and
the Kerdive have had set-to, it seems,
at Alexander" said man from the
Oregon Short Line.
"Well, now that Arab Bey has sour.
ed on the khedive, spose we may look
for perdition to be poppin' purity plen-
ty," said the fat man from Council
Bluffs.
Speaking about the Kerdeeva," said
a young man with tight pants and q
wealth of peeled nose, what is his pc.
sition relative to the Egyptian Govern.
mentP"
"Why, the Keddiv is the High Tycoon,
the Big Injun; the High Mucky- Muck OF
the rancho. He's the governor and
Arab Bey has throwed off on him, "
said the train dispatcher on the North
Park branch.
"Well, what did he want to throw of
on the Kerdeeve fur?n interrogated the
COW gentleman, just in from the trail.
Just then, however the man was call
ed away, so that he never got at the
true inwardncss of the Egyptian trouble
and is a little mixed also in the pronun.
citation of the Khedive's name. - Boom.
erd12Q.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
The Golden Paradise Of New Mexico.

A story, about which there is a fas-
cination it is impossible to resist when
you hear men tell it, says the Las Cru
sas Republican, is that of the "Home Of
Gold.n Somewhere in southwestern
New Mexico, in the Sierra Madre, it is
said there is wonderful valley Small,
inclosed in high, rocky walls, and ac-
cessble only by secret passage, which
is known to but few, is this extraordi-
nary place. 1t is about ten acres in ex-
tent, has running through it stream
which waters it thoroughly, and makes
it perfect paradise with its exquisite
flowers and beautiful trees. In it are
thousands of birds of the most beautiful
plumage. Running across it is a ledge
of pure gold about thirty feet wide,
which glistens in the sunlight like
great golden belt. The stream crosses
this ledge, and as it runs, murmurs
around blocks of yellow metal as Others
do around pebbles. The ledge of gold
is supposed to be solid gold, and to run
down into the center of the earth. The
legend is of Indian origin, and around
it clusters number of Indian stories,
in which the name of the ill-fated Mon
tezuma occurs frequently. The descend
ants of the Aztecs believe firmly that
the day will come when Montezuma
will return and free them from the de-
scendants of the Conquestodores. They
believe that the money necessary for
this work will be taken from the Mad
re d'Oro.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
The Now Explosive Write.

A consular report from Sweden is
sued by the Foreign Office gives a de-
scription of new explosive called sebas
tine, which, it is said, has competed
most favorably with dynamite. Sebas.
tine appears to be an explosive based
upon nitro-glycerine, but safer to handle
than the ordinary dynamite, while more
powerful in effect and cheaper to pur'
chase. The greater safety OF sebastine
depends on two circumstances first,
that the explosive oil is more complete.
ly absorbed and bound by specially
prepared charcoal and other ingredients
and, secondly, that in ordinary cases il
requires no percussion cap to explode.
AS to use in mining. it is reported that
the new sebastine is exploded simply by
the fuse, providing the bore hole is prop.
erly secured by stronger wadding, as
in an ordinary charge of blasting pow
der. According to official statements
there has not been one single instance
of accident happening when using the
new sebastine. The Swedish Govern.
ment having ordered trials of sebastine
against dynamite, ii is said to have been
proved that sebastine was far superior
in effect and about equal in force to
English gun-cotton when used in torpe.
does, The Consul at Gothenburg adds.
"As an explosive of great power, and
offering superior security, particularly
for mining and similar purposes,I would
recommend the new sebastine, or, more
properly, its improved form, Write, tc
the notice of Her Magesty's Govern
ment. IN Manchester Guardian,
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
Jefferson and his Violin.

Mrs. Martha Shelton was rich, accom-
plished, beautiful, and widow whose
age included but twenty-three years.
OF course, she had many admirers
among the young Virginians of her day.
One of them was Tom Jefferson, then
a young lawyer, esteemed for his tai
ents, but by no means remarkable for
the grace of his person or the beauty Of
his face. Toms accomplishments
were persuasive manner, and ability
to sing song and play on the violin.
The Widow SHELTON enjoyed her free
dom and the attention of her admirers,
Several Of them entertained "hopes,"
but her manner expressed no such pref
erence as satisfied their ardent desires.
One day, two of her suitors, bent on
learning their fate from her own lips,
met in the hall Of her house.
The sound of music caused them to
listen. The widow was playing on the
harpsichord and singing love song,
while Jefferson accompanied her with
his voice and violin.
Something in the song, and in the
manner of her singing, showed them
that mo- would be her answer if they
pressed their suit Quietly leaving the
hall, they mounted their horses and rode
away, sadder but wiser men. In day
or two the engagement of Mrs Martha
SHELTON to Thomas Jefferson was among
the rumorS Of the day,
Jefferson was always fond of the vio-
lin. When his parental home was burn
ed he asked, Are all the books destroy
ed?"
Eyes, massa, dey is,' answered the
old family servant, who knew his mas
ter's pet vanity; "but we saved de
fiddle -
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
Independent in all
Things.
Neutral in Moth.
ing.

DELIVERED BY CARRIER 25 CENTS PER WEEK.
1890 PER YEAR, 90 PER CENT DISCOUNT If PAID
YEARLY IN ADVANCE BY MAIL, 500 PER MONTH,
$1,000 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
A Stiff Neoked Farmer.

A California farmer, who had his neck
broken by driving into his barn door,
which was too low for him, was told by
doctor that there were 500 chances in
1000 against his recovery. He took the
one chance and was strapped TO board
with kind of fence supporting his neck,
where he was forced to lie, without
moving, for two months. The slightest
motion would have crushed the spinal
column and put an end to him. AT the
end of five weeks an attendant happen
ed to say that man who could live with
broken neck like that never could be
hung This made him laugh, in conse.
quence OF which the fastenings were
loosened, and the whole work of heal
ing came very near having TO DO done
all over again.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
Rnde fashionable Women.

BY incidents like the one related be-
low Oscar Wilde justitics his assertion
that American society is rude even to
boorishuesS; "ln Saratoga last week !
stopped at the States and Congress Hall
two of the best hotels, which one
would suppose would be pa,ronized by
cultured people, While talking with
Judge Brady there great crowd came
around us, mostly women, and finding
it bore TO be thus stared at, | moved
on into the Office. There they came
docking in after US, went to the bill
liard-room, but found no refuge there.
The women rushed there ladies in silks
aud grapes and laccs, with diamonds in
their ears, bringing their daughters with
them. To balk the pursuit utterly, |
fled TO the bar-room, win you believe
me that they came therein ten min
utes fifty to one hundred of them--fll-
ing up the place almostP 1t seemed to
me a most painful and dreadful thing
the bold-faccd staring and half-audible
comment. 1t seemed much worse than
the conduct OF abandoned women. Why
didn't say, Whatl Il you have, ladiesp"
Oh, it wouldn't have done any good,
and all the country would have said
had insulted the ladies at Saratoga"
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28
Episcopal Methodist.

Warranted not to contain single article
Of mercury of any injurious or mineral sub
stance, but to consist entirely Of medicinal
roots aud herbs, which is the reason Sim
mons Liver Regulator is SO efectual yet so
harmless.
"This medicine is acknowledged to have
no equal as a liver medicine, containing
those Southern roots and herbs, which an
allwise Providence has placed in countries
where diseases prevail.
baltimore EPISCOPAL METHODIST.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28

LADY BEAuTlFiERs. Ladies, you cannot
make fair skin, rosy cheeks, and sparkling
eyes with all the cosmetics of France or
beautiiiers Of the world, while in moor
health and nothing will give you such rich
blood good health, strength aud beauty as
Hop Bitters. A trial is certain proof.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28

A visitor in Leadyile, Col, says that
in one of the churches there is a notice:
"Please do not shoot at the organst; no
is DOING his heSt.N
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-09-28

In Paris the sleeves Of evening gowns
are looped up with two rosottes or pom.
ponsh on each shoulder.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
GRAND PRAIRIE.

The wet weather seems to be over
for the present and farmers are begin
ming to think of planting corn Of which,
there will be large amount put in.
Mrs. James Barnett was thrown
from horse on Sunday, April %, and
had her shoulder dislocated.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Nelson lost
their youngest child, = girl fifteen
months old, on April Is.
School commenced in Dist. 80 on
Monday, April "a, with Miss Celia Ut
{. I'd as teacher.
Our town has at last got up half a
dozen good, substantial guide posts.
They make 4 little better showing for
the town, and besides they are 6ne
marks for the boys to shoot at.
People are slowly making up their
minds that they mist license their
dogs. That law is one of the best the
legislature has passed for some time il
we only enforce it.
GRAND PRAIRIE.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
WLLLMONT.

HlLLMONI. ~ ssz>s<
Seeding Is very much behind ut on
account Of the rains. +:
Nels Martin and r. Brown came up
from saltwater to put their tree claims
i'll shape and then return again. Mr..
Martin would stay here, but his wife IL
sick in Saltwater, 80 he has to 60 back
again.
Married, in saltwater, about 10 days
ago, Peter Pass to Miss Bertha Fritz.
They are both from this town. No
cards, no cake, but our congratulations
all the same. .,.-s'
The latest news. which ought TO be
patented, is, If a good weuld-be church
member comes home from Jail, he takes
the bible aud reads q piece, then
he prays, and then he cries I little, and
last, but not least, he raises dunder-
alton again. -
New York Boys are not a success in
this town. F. Pank's boy wants to 70
back to n. Y. again. ~"
Hay is very scarce in this town at
present and the grass comes out very
slowly Us it is so cold yet. 49,
Last Friday our town clerk received
the following note:
please let the bearer have two dog
checks, for femail and q mail.''
There was no name signed, and but
80 cents inclosed. The clerk sent by
the bearer a note advising the sender
to get q check for his mail from his
postmaster. What next.p
Very few dogs are licensed up to
date, and we would advise every own
er of a dog in this town to come up
with their coin, otherwise some one
will come up with them and their dogs.
Every ono should be law abiding.
WILLNONT.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
RETRlBU7TON.

ASO4 1SAo - AAON.
The impression that railroad mag
mates and monopolists are not subject
to the everyday Providential control
and chastisement which is supposed to
be the normal state of the common
people, is mistaken impression after
all. James G.. Clark, in one Of his ex-
cellent letters to the Minneapolis Spec.
tator, quotes the following from a New
York paper: -
The death of Senator Wagner, burn
ed to death between two of his own
sleeping cars, casts a ghast)y light on
railroad legislation ut Albany; it illu-
inmates the question Of the demand of
the anti-mOnUp0listS III the pending
legislative deadlock in a way 50 strik
lngly opportune as to almost seem
providential. The demand of the anti
monep0'ists is that in the organization,
the leading committees be taken freM
the control of corporations, which for
years have controlled them. 1t WAS es-
pecially demanded that Senator Wag-
ner, a virtual partner of Vanderbilt be
not re-apPointed chairman of the rail.
road committee. This accident has so
far enforced the demand. A man
prone to look for the hand of Provi.
dence::in the doings of men cannot fail %
see retributive justice in the Senator's
awful death. AS chairman of the rail-
road committee he has killed by
"pocket veto" two bills which might
have saved his life had they become
laws. One was to prohibit the use in
passenger cars of inflammable or explOs.
i've oil in lighting, or fuel that could
burn by contact in heating; the other
was an act to compel the railroad com.
panies to provide tools, buckets and
fire extinguishers for all passenger
cars. One of these would have pre-
vented the fire in the Spuyten. Duyvil
accident; the other would have secured
Senator Wagner's rescue. He defeat.
ed both bills stalking thousands of hu.
man lives against a small saving of
money to the railroads. He digged
pit and has fallen into it," If it were on
ly his own life that was sacrificed we
might say he had paid the penalty of
his own recklessness and atoned for
his betrayal of high public trusts.
But the blood of others cry out from
the same sacrifice against him and his
employers. The demand of the people
that legislative committees be no long
er packed in the interest of railroads is
dreadfully emphasized.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
"CORREC7,."
S01VGEVLO
DEEnRNS'r Mimi

DEFoREsr, MIMI, Apr. %, 'S2.
EDITOR ADVANCE: la the last
week s issue of your paper 1 noticed an
article IN which you intimate that we
were the authors OF the insulting
words found on a subscribers paper
and also that loafers are in the habit Of
handling the mail here. This is false.
and am surprised at your liberty. If
you will enquire you will see that your
papers come directly to this office and
not by way of Heron Lake. As regards
loafers handling the mail, would say
the mail is handled by myself and as
sistant; no one else. If it is the Mrs
Crapsey matter to which YOU refer.
would say that lady gets her mail at
Dundee or Heron Like and not here.
Please correct the slanderOus state
ment through the columns of your
paper or We shall try to make YOU do
so.
f!eaSe make the corrections in your
next issue and truly oblige,
II. G. CONRAD, r. N.
Mr.. Conrad is right in his denial but
not in getting into passion about the
matter. We would have sworn that
we wrote it Dundee, but our composit-
or says we had it DeForest, and it
went into the ADVANCE in that wav.
Mrs Crapsey's paper is sent to Heron
Lake and from there to Dundee, at
which Office she receives it. We re-
fered to Dundee and not to DeForest.
and this little episode is wholly due to-
one OF those errors to- which all good
liable.
Now, let us hear from Dundee. We
did not charge any postmaster with
writing the insult. What we did do
was to call on the ostmaster to help
trace tho thing up. VIII handles Mrs.
C:'s paper besides Il Q pr tmaster and
who took 1t out On t:,at particv lar
week:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
For the ADvANCn /
HOW SHE CURED HIM.

Mr.. M owned = snug farm in the
State Of Ohio, and was preverbial for
his economy. "A penny saved il =
penny earned" was his familiar say.
ing; consequently he hired no more
help than was absolutely necessary.
"A good man" his wife was heard to
say, but he does hate to chop wood,
and will pass by the wood pile without
glancing at it for fear there will be
some chopping to do" So often was
she left without wood, that she deter
mined to adopt some plan in order to
cure him Of his neglect. One bright
morning in harvest time, he took his
men into the field, aud, 40 usual, left
his wife without wood. Shs hustled
about doing the mornings work, aud
having completed it, leaving every
nook aud corner in the most perfect
order, she sat down to think what she
should do. Presently smile crossed
her face, which resulted in low laugh,
rs she said softly to herself, THAT will
do" THAT" was her plan.
Dinner time came, aud with it six
hungry men. The table was spread
with the snowiest of linen, the glass
was polished till it sparkled with all
the colors Of the rainbow, aud every
point was perfect; = boquet Of fresh
flowers scented the cool room, and as
Mr.. M entered, his glance rested on
the table with the utmost satisfaction;
then on the stove with dismay-there
was no savory odor of cooking victuals,
no steam rose from the kettle as his
wife coolly lifted the cover and "trisd"
tho potatoes with \ fork, turned the
raw meat in the frying pan, opened tho
oven door, took out the snowy biscuits,
lifting ore to see if it was done, drew
! out the pies, gently tapping them with
her f1nger-ali with the utmost gravity.
Her husband stood aghast, while an
| audible litter passed around among the
men As they perceived the joke-the
stove was cold!
"What does this msan?" asked Mr..
NJ. angrily.
"Mean,' echoed his wife, lit means
| simply that I had no wood, and of
| course it could not be expected of me
| to build fire without, but there are
some stones and brick bats out in the
yard, that might have tried, but new
wonder If they will burn? If they will
it would he so economical. III get
some this minute; how careless of me
rot to have Thought of them before!''
And she made a movement towards
the door, but her husband was out be-
fore her, followed by shouts of laugh
ter from the me3.- He soon returned
| with the wood and in half an hour the
dinner was on the table; and as she
told the story. said Mrs. NJ, II have
not been left without wood since.''
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
RAILROAD NEWS.

THE b. G. r. 4 N.
1t is said that tracklaying on the
B. g. r. & N. II. r. will begin MAY lst.
With favorable weather we thick it
safe to expect the Burlington engines
here early in July.-Spirit Lake Dea-
con. =.
And it is about time to begin grad
ing this side Of Spirit Lake. From the
day the grade stakes are set and dirt
begins to fly this side. WorthinRtjn
will experience a boom such 40 Spirit
Lake has had for year past. Already
there is an active demand for town lots
and the building boom ha . begun.
THE ROCK ISLAND.
st. Paul papers of Tuesday contain.
ed full reports of railroad reorRaui.
cation by which the Rock Island &C.
cures control Of the Minneapolis Il st.
Louis. This let's the Rock Island into
St. Paul over the Omaha lire. It IS
said that this will also advance Omaha
stock, and the Minneapolis and st.
Louis will be practically a part Of tho
the Omaha system. That is, We sup.
pose, the Rock Island, tho Minneapo-
lis & St. Louis and the Omaha, Tor our
road, are now practically enc system.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04

Have you ever known any person to
be seriously i'll without weak stom-
ach or inactive liver or kidneysp And
when these organs are in good condi.
ton do you not find their possessor en-.
joying good health? Parker,s GINGER
Tonic regulates these important or
gans, makes the blood rich and pure.
and strengthens every part of the sys-.
TEN. See other column.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
CONE THIS WAY.

COM1 THIS WAY.
The Northern Pacific country has
had a hard time of it this spring.
About as soon as the snow blockades
were over tho foods set in and for
weeks the Red River and part of the
Missouri country has been under wa
ter. General Manager Marvel, of the
st. Paul, Minneapolis u Manitoba
Railway, in his reply to resolutions of
the Winnipeg Board Of Trade, says:
The severe snow storms and the high
water has prevented or greatly restrict
ed the use of our additional facilities
and no human endeavor could over
come the elemental difficulties with
which we have had to and are still
contending.
Down this way we have nc CON-
plants to make. We have had no
snow storms, floods nor any drawbacks
to delay trains or immigrants. Last
winter we had snow blockades, but
they were general all over the country
The winter was exceptionally severe
everywhere. But the past winter and
the spring 50 far has been exception
ally fine. and yet the boasted Northern
Pacific country is troubled with snow
storms and foods.
A gentleman has been in Worth,ng-
ton for several days looking for lands,
who was led up to the north country.
He found everything under water and
says what crops were in are ruined and
tho season is so delayed that only a
partial crop at hest can be raised this
year.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1882-05-04
THURSDAY, NAY /. lse2.

An immigration boom 10 being work:
ed up for the southwest counties and
the upper Minnesota valley. It 10 Il
boom which has solid foundation
in rich soil, and abundance Of pure
water, aud cheap transportation to
markets. And the time is not far dis.
taat when that will b. tho wealthiest
and most populeus region Of the North
west.-St. Paul Dispatch.
And We arc pleased to see s.. Paul
paper acknowledge what has been we'll
understood and proclaimed by people
down this way for ten years. We have
q better soil than ever tho choicest
portions Of Illinois and Iowa had, and
. climate far superior to that of any of
The States south OF 10. To recur again
to tho famous formula originated by
the ADVANCE some years ago, we have
'The climate Of the mountains and the
coil Of tho river bottoms.