Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1882-04-26
lanraster flttelligenrer.
EvEN'o, APRIL %, 1882.
The New Collector.

WEDNESDAY EvEN'o. APRIL 20. 1882.
The New Collector.
Mr.. Wiley steps out and Mr.. Kaufman
steps into the pleasant collectorship OF
this district, and the reason why is that
Mr.. Kaufman was one of the BOG. That
is quite sufficient reason in itself under
this administration, and we need hardly
inquire for any other. 1t was not that
Mr.Wiley has not made good collector,
nor for any failure on his part in the
performance Of his duties though they
do say that an effort was made to gather
testimony to prove that he was not al
ways 50 sweet and gentle a creature as
happy Andy habitually is. The change
was not made because unlucky Tom is
thin and dark, and lucky Andy fat and
fair; that may be a very powerful in
ducement to a rotund and flOrid presi-
dent TO bestowal of his rewards. 1t
may he that we are to have blonde ad-
ministration of round and rubicund Of
ficeholders, that there may be fraternal
sympathy, similarity and regularity in
tone, color and feature, down the whole
line of the Stalwart army. Brother
Kaufman physically will answer excel
lently well as colOr-bearer under
Arthur as cOmmander.in-chief. That
distinguished person is reported in
the newspapers TO be thing
of great corporal beauty; although
it is altogether a question of taste :;
and to ours it seems that the re-
porters who see great beauty in our
president have the Esquimaux idea of it !;
or the Cincinnati idea if it is true that
Cincinnati worships pork. The truth of
it is that our new collector would make a
better looking president than his chief.
One expects to see in that exalted station
:, man who is always ready to look you
straight in the eye. Our Andy has a
frank and open expression while Arthur's s
look is sidelong. lie looks just like the
man to surround himself with all the
Bill Chambers and big rascals in his
party but it does not seem to be a sine
gua non of appointment that the big fair
haired fellows shall be also oblique-eyed
morally and physically; for our Andy
isn't.
Nor does it appear to he indispensable
that they shall he big. Bigness no doubt
is recommendation but its absence
will be condOned if other agreeable quail
tiles are present. The question with us
just now is as TO the extent to which
black hair will be over looked. No
doubt exists of the presidential prefer
ence for blondes. Our red-headed Hewitt,
whose hair ruined him rs speaker of the
House, has it for very strong card in
his application for the Philadelphia SUBJ
treasurcrship; and there is the red-head-
ed Tom Cooper, chairman of the Repub-
lican state committee, who is rushing
to embrace the Philadelphia collector
ship, with a fiery fervor which will not
bequenclled in disappointment. And
our Donald, who carries the Republican,
party of Pennsylvania in the hollow of
his hand, by the extreme favor of the
president, is a red headed man. All
these fellows are little fellows, pretty
much every way you turn them, and
have their auburn locks rs their chief il.
Illumination and distinction over their
fellow men. Is it an all-pOwerful rec
ommcndatiOn to Office? We advise all
fair haired Republicans to try it on
and when they fail, to let US know.
We should like to know certainly Just
what it is that this administration rests
its judgment upon of the fitness of mssl
for office. 1t does seem wrong to think
that the president of the United States
has no higher standard of qualifica-
tion than that which is believed to lie
the title clear of the 3O6 to a good posi-
ton. Physical size and color do not, it
is true, afford very high standard ;
but there will he one great advantage in
setting them up. If fairness and redness
ona or both, alone qualify for Office.
lem and black Republicans, such IS our
friend Wiley ought to know it, that this
considerable portion Of the Republican
army may understand that they need not
trouble themselves to hlnker after the
tleshpotS of office, and that it bcloOves
them to hunt in other and drier pastures
for their daily bread.
THERE are some finger boards which
Indicate very plainly the duty of the
Democratic members Of Congress in re-
la.ion to grants of money for naval pur-
poses. One of these is the fact that
John Roach, contractor and sLip-builder,
was a favored beneficiary of the navy
department during the administration of
Mr.. Robeson, and Mr.. Roach numbered
among his, so-called, counsel " Mr..
VIM. E. Chandler, of New Hampshire,
now secretary of the navy. Another is
the peculiar way in which the House
committees on naval affairs and naval
expenditures are made up. A Demo.
. cratic Congress found that, under Robe
son as secretary Of the navy, "the acts
and conduct of that department de
served and should receive the severest
censure and condemnation - now that
same Robson is second on the committee
on naval affairs, while on either side of
him are Harris and Harmer, who hap
pen to he the identical two congressman
who tried to whitewash Robson before
the Democratic House. Worse and