The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-10-18
LOCAL MELANGE.
How Joseph Was Touched
Up in a Sabbath School
Meeting.
Freight Tariff Els abIished by
the New Association.
Real Estate Record for the
Week Ending to-day.
Mound Explorations by SUI
perintedent Norris.
Other Interesting News
Items Long and
Short.
NOT FOR JOSEPH.

That truth is stranger than fiction, we
have evidence which accumuiates daily.
The very latest incident, however, which
verification thereof has reached the ARGUS,
via grape vine telegraph, and is one OF the
very richest on record Fortunately for
the ARGUS, as well as for keen apprecia-
ton of the story, its readers are pretty
generally well grounded IN Bible lore and
it will not be necessary, therefore, to point
out just ''where the laugh comes in"
1t occurred last Sunday evening in u
church not many miles from Rock Island,
therefore is clearly within the ARGUS juris-
diction. In the church membership IS an
ex-clergyman, graduate of a well-known
New ork college who has abandoned
the pulpit and is now merchant and
church member in good and regular stand
ing. On the evening in question it had
been decided to hold what from time i'm
memorial in a cel tain denomination has
been called monthly concert, designed
more particularly for the children, although
adults have derived a considerable degree
of both pleasure and profit from them
Each of these so-caIled concerts is made
up of singing, short prayers and remarks
especially designed for the edification Of
the children and the opportunity of spread
ing themselves before the Juveniles has
ever been hailed with delight by divers
and sundry adult males of the congrega-
ton.
Included in the church member
ship is the clergyman merchant
above referred to who considers
addressing children his very '@best holt >"
and who was never known to refuse an
invitation to make such an address. At a
certain point therefore, in the proceedings
of last Sunday evening, the pastor called
upon Elder for remarks, whereupon
the elder arose in his place and was safely
delivered of the following, which is given
nearly verbatim:
TIE ELDERS REMARKS
children, | win tell you little story
this morning about Joseph and his breth-
rem. rIf that little boy down in the front
seat will stop whispering he can hear better
what am abont to say You have all
heard that beautiful story in the Bible
about Joseph and how he finally BECAME
the powerful ruler of Egypt Well, I'm
just going to tell you the whole thing SO
that each of you little boys and little girls
can see how goodness and strict integrity
are always rewarded. if not in this world,
then in the world to come. Now Joseph
was such remarkably good boy, always
truthful and obedient to his parents, and
so forth, that his mother, who loved him
much more than all the rest of her whole
brood of children together, made him a
beautiful coat of many colors. This made
his wicked brothers very angry, and they
made up their minds to get even with 10
seph in some way. So one day they all
went off somewhere to buy something. and
when near a huge pit (pits abound in that
eastern country the enviols, black hearted
brothers took off Josephs coat, and cast
him into the pit. There they would have
left him to die if some traders hadn't hap
pened along, to whom the bad brothers
sold their brother Joseph, and they took
him along with them Then the wicked
brothers killed a little sheep and dipped
Joseph's pretty coat in its blood, and told
the old folks that Joseph had been killed
by wild animal Soon after this Joseph
went down into Egypt and lost another
coat, and-and-" [breathless sensation in
the room, and the elder, w;pinghis flushed
face with considerable JUNCTION, sat down
and was as mum as an oyster the rest of
the evening.