River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-01-12

4 =
then / took them from the oven to
make diagnosis of the case.
But one thickness of cloth is not
enough between the hand and smok.
ing hot metal; at least such is my
judgment; and coming to that conclu,
sion before reached the table, let go
and they came rafting to the floor like
hailstones, giving map of Greece
| (grease) not down in any geography
ancient or modern. Blowing my bills.
tered fingers at intervals, | shoveled the
bewitched things into the back yard
fervently hoping they would not take
root and produce second crop, obsti-
nate as themselves.
But must have something besides
meat and potatoes the bread was all
consumed, and l was becoming des-
perate. Some corn-bread yes, could
recall the recipe found the meal,
turned on the scalding water, added
the other ingredients, and soon had a
brown loaf, tempting to the eye, at
least. But soon found that the beauty
was its principal charm. IF it did not
turn to ashes on the lips" it did some
thing much coarser and there was an
! uncooked taste about it decidedly UNI
pleasant. The few mouthfuls | man
aged to swallow scratched my throat so
numerically that was fearful of some
mortal disease having its seat in that
part but careful examination re-
lieved my fears. And | may as well
state here that my unfortunate cake
was made of some coarse, unsifted
meal my careful mother had reserved
for the chickens.
did not like corn bread, that was
certain but could try some biscuit
Accordingly substituting flour for meal,
l added the rest, hot water and all.
But, shade of Tantalus it was neither
butter nor dough, and adhered to
everything it touched. | broke the
mixing spoon in trying to stir it, plas-
tered my hands in the endeavor to re-
move the broken spoon-and dropped
the rollingpin on my most thrifty corn.
Just then, the door bell rang, and for
getting all but my profession, | brushed
the hair off my forehead with my
sticky fingers, and answered the call, to
the no small surprise of the pumpkin
who was sent for me, and who reported
that DR.. Cooper gin bread pills, cause
he had seen him maxim 'em.
The summons was urgent, and,
catching my hat and gloves, / was soon
with my patient, who was not to sick
to wonder, as his attendants did, if
was trying to take cast of myself,
clothes and all, in plaster?
Released at last, returned, deter
mined to finish those biscuits. The
mass worked little better, now it was
cool, but still would take no form re-
sembling biscuit, dabble in it as
would.
Completely disguised with the glutin-
Gus pile, that chung viciously to every
thing it came in contact with, and
crawled to each side of the board, as
if anxious to get away from itself,
stood, and eyed it savagely, and Won
dered what should do next?
81 will tumble it into the pan," I said
to myself, "and perhaps it will be
bread! | like new bread"
Bnt this was a feat easier contem-
plated than accomplished. The board
was covered with the abominable stuff,
and every particle stuck like melted
wax; but, by dint of poking, pushing
and dragging, the greater part was
finally transferred to the pan; and
then, with thoughts of warmer place,
sent it into the oven, and turned to
clearing up the debris.
With cloth and some water | COM
menced with the board, or rather with
the plaster that covered it; but the wa
ter soon looked like milk, and the
cloth refused to remain in my fingers,
so encased was it with slime.
Another ringl Confusion! Must
every body get sick on this unlucky
day, of all Others?
L wiped my hands as well as l could,
although shreds of that detestable
dough chung to them, and went to the
door.
No call from patients this time, but
from Mrs. Dossel and her beautiful
daughter, who resided in an adjoining
county, and having occasion to pass
through our village by stage, had called
to see my mother and sisters, with
whom they were intimately acquaint-
ed.
l could not shut the door in their
faces, and invited them to the parlor,
and then stood, staring helplessly at
them, and wondering why they did not
do something? The younger one look
ed at me, as if she half suspected | was
an escaped lunatic, and as dangerous
as | was dirty; but the elder lady, with
a practical woman's penetration under
stood the situation at once, and came
readily to the rescue.
"You are trying to cook, Doctor p
she asserted, rather than asked, as she
glanced at my bedaubed fingers, plas-
tered garments and flour powdered
face.
"a little" l replied, while 1 felt my
face like fever patients.
"And are somewhat doubtful of sue
cess ?" and she smiled in her own pc
culiar manner.
l thought of that moulding board"
and wished my visitors in Jericho.
She seemed to read my thoughts by
intuition, and said, with decision not
to be questioned: 81 shall claim your
hospitality for myself and daughter I'M
til tomorrow, as the stage will not pass
before; and as / am so conceited as to
think can cook better than you, will
you please allow me to prepare the
meals while / remain ?"
| thought of that manipulating
loaf in the oven, and a chill followed
my fever. But bright thought pre-
scented itself.
While they were unrobing and wash
ing in the guest chamber, | would max e
way with it beyond the ghost of II
chance of a post-mortem examination
that was if it had the same appearance
as when l last saw it.
accordingly expressed my pleasure
may the recording angel be merclful
and escorted them to their room and
then, with few words of welcome,
left them To hurry to the kitchen, tum-
BILE the board, rolling-pin, and every
other bedaubed thing but myself, into
the woodshed and finished by taking
the shrunken loaf and burying it in the
garden.
This accomplished, returned to the
kitchen, where Mrs. Dossel soon joined
me, with her dress caught up, and her
sleeves rolled pinned back with an eye
TO business.
She asked a few questions as to the
whereabouts of certain articles, and
then limited pretty strongly that she
had no further use for me. | under
stood, and went to my room, where
the miserable, dirty, forlorn wretch who
glared at me from the glass did more
4