The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1882-02-16
THE BEST COLLATERAL.
what TranspireA Among Five GeatIe-
nen 1T the Southern Hotel.
,,a.t Uan6 Eansas Juland Trihnna

what Traaspired Among Five GeatIs-
Aen 1T the Southern Hotel.
Great BEND, Kansas, Infant Tribune.
While awaiting the arrival of the
east bound train the other day, four
commercial travellers were amusing
themselves by relating anecdotes at the
Southern hotel. They were Joined by
Max Mayer, an eccentric gentleman
with a philanthropic mission. AT the
conclusion Of good one by the boot
and shoe man who jumped his board
bill and left only paper collar and vel
low back novel as collateral, MIR. Mayer
said the story reminded him of the ex-
perience of q dentist in Topeka:
mot long since, said Mr.. Mayer, ian
Irishman walked into DIS dental
rooms at Topeka, with his face much
swollen, and announced his intention
to have the offending molar extracted.
sDocthur,' said he, Och, sure, Docthur,
dear, av yers phase be aisy wild me now!
Sure. an its meself that kilt entirely
Och, murtheri but it hurts. All right
said the dentist, well soon have 1t out.
Just sit down in the chair 'Docthur,
said Pat, 'phat will Yees charger One
dollar replied the dentist. 'Howley
murtherp moaned Pat, but I'll niver be
able to pay il at sill. Docthur, won't
wees take pity on q poor divil and aise
him for fifty cents? It's all I've got
The doctor concluded he would, and
went for tine tooth. After much hard
Juggling the dentist succeeded in extract
ing the tooth. Pat handed the man Of
forceps fifty cent currency note, and
said he felt better. The doctor examin-
cd the note and discovered It to be coun-
terEeit. Look here, Pat, this note Is
q counteTSsit!' Och, sure, docthur dear,
it's meself that didn't know 1t sure, but
I know the muFtherin spelpeen that
passed it on me. I'll jist go, dOcthur.
an, make him give me good one-an'
-an'-docthur,' continued Pat, point
ing to the tooth which was lying on the
table, 'docthur, I'll jist lave that tooth IS
collateral while I'm gomez"
Speaking of collateral" remarked w.
W. MAXWELL, clerk Of the Southern, 're-
minds me Of the time had the rhema-
tismP How in the name of all that
Is ingenius, do you make rheumatism &
collateral for anything? asked the dry
goods man. Easy enough, I"
aid Mr.. Maxwell. al had bad cold-it
left me, and the rheumatism was ell /
had 70 show for t." "Well, 60 on said
dry goods. 81 suppose you have story
to tell. Let's have it" al had . most
internally severe attack OF Rheumatism
In my lelt knee. II kept me in bed fer
six weeks. I used about everything IN
der the sun to obtain relief. ] suffered
everything. Red hot iron applied 70 the
flesh would not hsve hurt worse. About
the time ] began to seriously entertain
the thought that there was NO help for
me commenced to use the Great Ger
nan Remedy, St. Jacobs Oil. Well,
genGlemen, one bottle of that famous
remedy put me en my feet and two
more bottles cured me. II is just the
best thing for pain in the woFid-it is
for fact You can count on il every
time" do you really believe, AF.
Maxwell" said the grocery man, that
ST. Jacobs Oil cured you's" 81 know
S.. Jacobs Oil cured me-" replied MF.
Maxwell, land know il 70 be an nnsur-
passed remedy for pain"
"Mr. Maxwell is we'll sustained in his
BELIEF" says Mr.. Mayer, II have inter-
viewed several hundred persons who
or pain By Sc. Jacobs Oil. Only today
I had l6ng talk with Mr.. 8. A. Allen,
one Of your druggists, who said that the
demand for St. Jacobs Oil Is simply un-
equaled. Pulling open door, he showed
me the great remedy stored away in bot.
tles, and said that he did not keep it ON
the shelves because the demand was So
great for Il he had 70 keep IL II large
quantities and IN q receptacle Of con.
venient raaEh. Hr. Allen also said thai
| The Great German Remedy was not over
estimated. BE believed il ; dEstFate
remedy and dsed it in his family. Itksd
proved capital remedy for sore throat,
| sprains, &c. Mr. Allen then told me thsl
1 8 man who lives some distance in tho
country from Great Bend, relates . mos
| wonderful experience with St. Jacobs
/ Oil. The man got his feet badly frozen
| during the late var. Al times his feel
| would heal up and he would not b1
/ troubled for some months. Then theJ
1 e ever. WheH this occurred he c0elC
not walk, and his sufferings were great
| The af1iction kept him poor foI
/ Gfteen years. Lt pursued him Ike |
: nemesis. When he got ahead 9 it'll
he would thea have another attack, ana
his means would al - exhausted In ~
ing 70 obtain relief. About year agI
be heard OF Sc. Jacobs Oil and commele
ed applying it 70 hisfeet. Less than on
dozen bottles completely cured him
He las not since Self the first synpson
/ d pain, ard knows be Is permanenslV
cured TIE ma1,, continued Af. Allen
sseeusa greatly rsiOiced over his deitVeI
enos HoH the ho6age 81 At ietioz who's
yoke hs Were fer hlDell years.' Nov
eeafsemsntr puTsned Er. Mayer, ''sh
fopeka desslsG kaa Z tooth and goo
eel a eo1laEszal Goe tie work he did
11r. Maxwell hes sOand health Cog hiss