The Portland daily press., 1882-08-23
Wit and Wisdom.

Wit and Wisdom.
The Mansfield (Ohio) Herald says that upon
the pretence of being anxious to read and di-
gest the speeches of Judge Geddes, barber of
that place has been receiving at stated inter
walls liberal supplies of documents from Wash
ington under Goddess frank, and utilizing the
same for practical uses in his business. 2 val
BARRIERS soon heard of the scheme and likew Use
made application to the worthy NJ G. Some
what mystitied, perhaps, at the sudden and
unusual interest taken in his remarks, the
kind-hearted old gentleman complied only too
gladly, and it is stated that every barber shop
ia Mansfield to-day has sufficient shaving pa
per on hand to last for couple of years to
come
Horsford's Acid Phosphate-A Refreshing
Drink.
DR.. G. o. Files, Portland, Me-, says: "After
perspiring freely, when cold water has utterly
failed to satisfy my thirst, it has accomplished
the purpose with the most perfect success"
1t seems hardly fair to speak of an clipping
couple as pair of fiees.-Ph Philadelphia Chroni-
cle-Herad.
If you have any skin diseases or diseases OF
the hair or scalp, any itching or discolorations,
sun burns, freckles, p:mples, rough or dry
harsh skin you have in DR.. @. W. Benson's
Skin Cure, a sure, perfect and elegant remedy.
Sold by all druggists.
In Paolo, Kanass, there is gas well that
produces gas enough to light the city. 1t is
evident that some politician is at the bottom
of It, New Orleans Picayune
To the rescued Your liver is in trouble,
Wheat Bitters will correct it. Remember
this.
Most people prefer Welsh rabbit to a hair
in butter.-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
sit is the common observation THAT the
standard of natural health and normal activity
among American women, is being lowered by
the influence of false ideas and habits OF life,
engendered by fashionable ignorance and lux
urous living. 1t is happy circumstance that
Mrs Lydia e. Pinkham has come to the front
TO instruct nd cur he sufferers of her sex.
A great many workers work best while the
eye of the boss is on them they strike while
the eye on Is hot.-New Orleans Picayune.
Intelligent mothers give their weak, grow
ing girls Healy's Tonic Pills and spare them
weeks of sickness. See advt. on this page.
Severe periodical Congestive Headaches OF
twenty years standing have been cured by
Cephaline.
Ii there is no rain for awhile, some crops
will be ruined, and if there is rain, crops are
bound to be ruined. This is gathered from
careful summary of great many agricultural
remarks.-New Orleans Picayune.
Hop Plasters are sold by all druggists in the
United States and Canada, % cents each or .
for 81, and are guaranteed to be the hest ia
the markets. Avoid cheap worthless goods
Too terrible to contemplate. Old lady (after
the character of servant)-"Is she an early
riser?" Esthetic young lady-"Don't know,
I'm sure Pm never down before twelve or
ope." o. LIS she honest?" E. Y. L.
"Thats matter that has never troubled me-"
o. L.-"Can she cook?" 1E. Y. L. Qndlg-
are you getting rid Of her?' E. Y. L. (shud-
dering)-"She has mother who eats onions.
I know that mania to be hereditary. She
might break out at any moment. LONDON
Fun.
That feeling OF languor and debility that
follows physical exertion, removed by using
Browns Iron Bitters
Let man sit for two years on barrel at
political corner grocery and he is apt to think
himself good enough to be appointed judge.
Consumption finds quick victims in the
weak. Strengthen your system against this
and all other kinds of disease by using Wheat
Bitters.
AThe honest ignorant man is more dangerous
than the cunning demagogue.
Ask your physician and he will tell you that
for all the elements which give health, strength
and vigor to the system, there is nothing bet
ter than pure malt. Only the purest malt is
used in the preparation of Hops and Malt Bit
| ters.
sDo you drink" asked q lady of peddler.
He dropped his pack and remarked "Vell, l
shust lieve drink NIT you as any odder mans"
The success which has attended the use of
Swedish Botanic Compound warrants us to
say that for purifying and enriching the blood,
and creating an appetite, strengthening and
renevating the whole system, nothing surpass-
es that great remedy.
! The mother who gave her little boy castor
/ OIL was informed by the infant that he would
be much obliged if she would castor oil else
where.
Do you wish beautiful complexion? Then
use Ayers Sarsaparilla. 1t cleanses and puri-
fies the blood, and thereby removes b)otches
and pimples from the skin, making it smooth
and clear, and giving it bright and healthy
appearance.
According to Richard Grant White, "hug"
is word that embraces good deal.
Remember! Glenn's Sulphur Soap presents
all the advantages of sulphur baths at cheap
rate. isHill's Hair and Whisker Dye, go cents.
"Why are you alive yet, my old friend?
heard you were dead?' "Nice friend you are
You didn't even come to my funeral"
The President, Supreme Court Judges and
Members of Congress use German Corn Re-
mover 25c.
Several Austin gentlemen were talking
about polite men they had met, when an old
German named Fritz said the politest man he