Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-04-14
A SPEECH By 'sMARK TWAIN"

A banquet recently given to MARK
Twain (Alr. Clemens) at the Windsor
Hotel, Montreal, Can, was attended by
nearly two hundred citizens of all
grades Of prominence. Hon. Lucius
Seth Huntington occupied the chair,
and after the Queen Of England and the
President of the United States had been
toasted the Chairman proposed Our
Guest" Mr.. Twain" the hero of the
hour, was received with much applause,
and when it had subsidized he said:
Mr.. Chairman and Gentlemen:
That banquet should be given to me
in this ostensibly foreign land and in
this great city. and that my ears should
be greeted by such complimentary words
from such distinguished lips. are emf
nent surprises to me, and will not con-
ceal the fact that they are also deeply
gratifying. [ thank you, one and all.
gentlemen. for these marks of favor and
friendl:ness, and, even if l have not
really or sufficiently deserved them, 1
assure you that l do not any the less
keenly enjoy and esteem them on that
account.
When stranger appears abruptly
in u country without any appar-
ent business there, and at an unusual
season of the year, the judicious thing
for him to do is to explain. Laughter.
This seems peculiarly necessary in my
case on account of series of unfOrtu-
nate happenings here which followed my
arrival. and which suppose the public
have felt compelled to connect with
that circumstance. l would most glad
" ax,,los,, sc could b,,t 7 box-a nfk;n.r
for my defense but my bare word; so I
simply declare. in ali sincerity and with
my hand on my heart, that never
heard of that diamond robbery till saw
it in the morning papers [laughter]. =.
andI can say with perfect truth that
never saw that box Of dynamite till the
police came to inquire if had any more
Of it. [Uproarious laughter These are
mere assertions. | grant you, but they
come from the lips of one who was
never knOwE to utter an untruth except
for practice. and who certainly would
not SO stultify the traditions of an up
right life as to utter one now in a
strange land and in such a presence as
this. where there is nothing to be gained
by it, and he does not need any prac-
tice. brought with me to this city a
friend, Il Boston publisher, but alas!
even this does not sufficiently explain
these sinister mysteries. If l had
brought Toronto publisher Along the
case would have been different. But no,
possibly not The burglar took the dia-
mond studs, but left the shirt. Only a
reformed Toronto publisher would have
left the shirt. Loud cheers and laugh
teri
To continue my explanation: I did
not come to Canada to commit crime
this time. came here to place myself
under the protection of Canadian law
and secure a copyright. 1 have COM
piled with the requirements of the law.
have followed the instructions of some
of the best legal minds in the city, in
cluding my own, and so my errand is
accomplished. at least so far as any ex-
ertions of mine can aid that accom-
plishment. This is rather cumber-
some way to fence and fortify ones
property against the literary buccaneer,
it is true; still, if it is effective it is a
great advance upon past conditions, and
one to be cOrrespondingly welcomed.
1t makes one hope and believe that q
day will come when in the eye of the
law literary property will be as sacred
as whisky tlaughter or any other of the
necessaries of life. Renewed laughter.
In this age of ours if you steal another
mans label to advertise your own brand
of whisky with you will be heavily fined
and otherwise punished for violating
that trademark Hear. hear If YOU
steal the whisky without the trademark
you go to Jail. [Laughter.] But if you
could prove that the whisky was litera-
ture you could steal them both, and the
law wouldn't say word. Applause
and laughter 1t grieves ME to think
how far more profound and reverent
respect the law would have for ltera-
ture if body could only get drunk on
it. Still, the world moves. The inter
ests of literature upon our Continent
are improving. Let us be content and
wait. We have with us here fellow
craftsman born on our own side OF the
Atlantic, who has created an epoch in
this Continents literary HISTORIAN au.
thor who has earned, and worthily
earned, and received the vast distinc-
tion of being crowned by the Academy
OF France. Loud cheers This is
honor and achievement enough for the
cause and the craft for one decade.
Assuredly, if one may have the privi-
ieege of throwing in personal impress
aon or two, | may remark that my stay
IN Montreal and Quebec has been ex'
eeedingly pleasant, but the weather has
been good deal of disappointment.
Canada has reputation for magnificent
winter weather. and has prophet who
Sbound by every sentiment of hQuol
and duty to furnish it, but the result