Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-08-02
SPOOPENDYKE.
He Wanted HIS Waterproof
fFrorn the BROOKLYN Eacle.l

pulllng the shams on the bed, where
is my-my, where is ny-you know
what I mean. What did you do with
it?"
"Your shawl-strap2" askeEl Biz.
Spoopendyke. dropping the baby into
the crib. "Oh, I know; your dumb
bells. Is that what you want?"
Has that shawl-strap got sleeves in
it?' demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke, ran
sacking the sewing machine. "Are
those dumb-bells split up the back and
torn around the collar ? Youknow what
want; my rubber ovepSpat. Where
did you put ite" and MI Spoopendyks
pulled pile Of letters out of the pigeon
hole TO his wife's desk aud spilled them
along the floor.
"Where did you have it last I" MUIR
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke, with her
finger in her mouth and CONSERVATION in
her eye.
"Had it on I" growled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "Where'd We s'pose I had it2
Think had it for lunch? Don't you
know where the measly things gone to'
Spry around and find i'll Take your
finger out Of your mouth; I don't sup
pose it's in there! &c. that Goa. before
it clears up, will YEP" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke shook the clock and then peered
into the mantel vases.
"I don't believe it's going to rain
much anyway" faltered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, who couldn't remember having
seen the coat for a month. "When il
looks like this, it's always going to sun
shine" and she followed him around
the room in futter of apprehension.
"Of course it is !" snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. Things are going to
do just what you tell 'em to do. If you
had lot Of tin figures in front and a
streak of mercury up your spine, you'd
only need a sheet-iron case and wire
handle to be a barometer II you'll
look along your measly information
about the weather, p'raps you'll find
that overcoat at the other end of it
Where's that coat? Going to let me
stand here and soak while the moths pic
mic that coat INTO a shad-net? Take
me by the elbow and lead mo to the
coat |" and Mr.. Spoopendyke tipped the
sofa over so that he could see under it,
and then slapped a plaster bust Of Min
erva against the wall, under the impress
sion that the coat might have crawled
into her ear.
"It's the strangest thing in the
worldl" giggled Mrs. Spoopendyke, hys-
terically. care you sure you wore it
home ?"
"If I didn't, how'd it get home p
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, putting his
hands on his knees and grinning in his
wife's face. "S'pose it hired hack and
drove home3 Oh, no! / didn't wear it
home. The last saw of it it had its
hat over its ear and female waterproof
on its arm, piking up Fulton street as
happy as an Alderman's funeral. What're
ye standing there for2 Got some indis-
tinct notion that the dod gasted coat has
gone to get shaved, haven't ye? Who'd
We give it to? Been endowing q meta
physical chair in some kind of an old
woman's home with it, haven't ye?
Where's the coat Develop the coat
before vitiate the insurance, and Mr..
Spoopendyke kicked his wife's workbas-
ket across the room, and rammed his arm
to the shoulder up the chimney.
"Do you remember where you wore
it last p asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, sud
denly becoming calm and analytical.
"I wore it on my back !" protested
Mr.. Spoopendyke, who didn't remember
whether he had taken it to church or to
hospital. MAYBE you're under the
impression that tied it to stick and
wheeled il along on the buttons On
my back, I tell ye! On this particular
back r. and Mr.. Spoopendyke almost
broke his arm pointing ont the attraction
referred to. "Most folks fit up theil
rubber overcoats with bent wire and I
focus, and wear 'em for spectacles, but
hadn't time; so I wore it on my back
Bring forth the coat !" yelled Mr.. Spoop
endyke, spinning around like top
Fetch out the measly coat before th'
proprietor of these premises makes NJ
his mind whether he'll build Q hous'
here or mortgage the lot"
"You wore il the last day it rainsd
and when it cleared off in the afternoon
I noticed that you had on your sprinl
overcoat," said Mrs. Spoopendyk'
quietly.
"Great headl" grunted Mr.. Spoop
endyke, beginning TO feel uncomfortable
and wondering how it was coming out
"With your perceptive faculties AM
meteorological education, you only nee'
one more leg and clear night TO be
dod-gasted street telescope at 10 cents
peepl What of it9 S'pose I did wea
spring overcoatl It's spring, amt il?
Sand / don't know" continued Mrs
Spoopendyke, "but I think you had i
ON over your waterproof. Ii you look
you may find the rubber coat inside O
the other now."
Mr.. Spoopendyke growled and sncrte
his way TO the closet. like . foghorn
and found--things as his wife had pre-
| dickad