The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1882-09-08
..oId ReItaDte,s, Political Pot.Pourri.
FrENsBuRe. sept. 5. -.

EBENsBURe, Sept 8. 1882.
: DEAR HENRY-It is wonderful bow FASH I
ion changes from age to age. To grow fat !
was a crime punished at the whipping post Z
with the ancient SpaTtans. The SpartanS |
soundly whipped those who grew too rat for
military exercise and service. With modern
Americans fat is a virtue and the possessors !
OF adipose matter are awarded with alder
man hOnors, seats in Congress, State Senate,
United States Senate, supreme Bench ana
even the Presidential Mansion. The Demo
Gratis of Cambria have chosen and honored
two hundred and twenty FOUNDER as their
candidate for Congress, and it Is said the Re
publicans of Cambria will chose and honor
as their candidate a two hundred and thirty
five FOUNDER. Thus it will be seen that the
American possessors of adipose, instead OF
being degraded as were the Spartans, are
hOnored. The present American President
turns the scales at OBS pounds and is as agile
as Barnum's 'JumbO." His feet stand far
apart and make a base so solid that he is able
to amble off with all the rum the boys can
ram into him.
This adipOse President-t'Chet," ;" as he is
familliarlv called-is a bold fisherman. He
is considered, when fishing in the basking
dellS of the AdriOndacks, an-lZaak wal ton.
"Chet' vanQuished and landed fifty pound
salmon trout on one of his fishing frollcS.-
He had desire to come to the mountains OF
Pennsylvania on fishing frOhe, but SOME
officious mOuntaineer informed him that
Allegheny mountain trout were seldom
known to rise above twenty pounds, which
disgusted him. 'Chet" is no pin-hook fish
erman. He caught a tOw-headed urcbin
angling for sun perch in the Potomac and
mortified the Door boy by telling of his land
ing of 2 fifty pound fish. 1t was a little
mean in "Chet'' to bullvrag the Potomac
boy in that way. 1t Is said that President
Grants poor luck in fishing for trout in
PENNSYLVANIA had much to do in deterrlnQ
''Chet'' from coming TO Pennsylvania on
fishing froic 1t will be remembered that
some years ago President Grant started for
the headwaters of the Susquehanna on
fishing frOlic, but he didn't reach the waters.
Grant was being tapered off, but, according
to the newspapers of that day, he laped
a new drunk on the old one, knocked the
hats from the heads of sundry sober people
| in a Pennsylvania village, and was nnally
captured and put to bed in a country inn,
where he was confined until he tapered on.
1t is much to be regretted that "Chet'
who had intended to take run in his yacht,
the United States steamer Dispatch, TO
Block Island had to abandon the trip on ac-
count Of the crank of the Dispatch engine
breaking He has been unfortunate as far
as fish catching goes during his present hSh-
ing fTOlic So far he has failed to get the
point of his hook in a sleeps head. 1t IS
gratifying however, to know that "Chet" Is
having a happy time of it. In its notice of
"Chet's' Dispatch cruz, the Philadelphia
Times poet sings:
King Arthur. StaIwart, full six feet, and fat,
The chief born Of q blood-hent ball which slew
A man. was sporting at the lands expense,
The growth of Chandler's ss, 900 head
Floating at his masttop. Outlines he and BIZ
Splice the main-brace and as the glasses clink
They wink and thumb pOint DER the shoulder left
And say: "Of water we've enough and more in
Now If we had a navy'' Then they laugh
And fill EN- up again.
BY the way, Henry, I must chide you for
not publishing the beautiful lines on ChetS
flag which were dedicated by the New
York Sun TO Billy Chandler, and which are
as follows:
A Flag for the President
On the Dispatch2
Soon thereTl be ribbons
And garters to match!
Soon we shall see
The flag in fits pride
Wherewith his majesty
Chances to hide!
Over the White House, in chamber and hall.
In Red Room, and Blue Room, and Green Room,
over the East Room and all its fine furnishings
over the Dining Room, over its burnishingsi
over the pigeons and part-idges laid there
Figured in China when Mrs. Hays staid there,
Over the baker and over the sutler,
The cook and the hostIer, the toOtman and butler;
over the four-in-hand
over the bays,
Over the dog-cart,
Over the chaise;
over the House when he goes 70 sign btlls
Over the druggist who mixes his pills:
over the land
Over the sea:
Waited by steam
Or waiting the breeze
Throwing for salmOn,
Angling for trout;
Resting at home,
Or driving about;
Made into badges
And cut on his plate;
Carved on his panels
And writ on his gatei
Stamped on his linen.
His hose and cravat;
And zewed his hat
Craven in metal or tossing in bunting,
signet Of royalty,
Takeoff-y your hat loyalty;
Done u In a rag.
That most uu-American
Presidents flag.
It is said that "Chet" has not realized
some of the ends he had in view when he Sc
lected Judge FoIger for the Treasury De-
partment, Howe for the Post Office Depart
ment Teller for the Interior Department
and Brewster for the Attorney GeneraIship.
There will he a recasting of the Cabinet
"Chet" thinks his Cabinet is not a strong
one. He feels as if it had too many grand
fathers i'm it-tOo little fresh blood and sinew.
The retirement of FOlger, Howe, Brewster,
FrellnghuySen and Teller may be looked for.
"Bilee" Chandler, whose appointment was
inspursuit of Chefs purpose, will be retain
edin the Navy Department. When "Chet''
does make this predicted change, the plumed
Knight Roscoe COnkling will come to the
front.
The retinue of clerks and servants of the
Iarln Commission now number more men
thap the Commission. Tie Commission
travels IN two special Pullman cars, a Sleep
ing car and a dining car which have been
chartered for this imposing Commissions
| journey through the west The Commits
siOners have passed a point where modesty
ends, and their mission has become not
merely farce but an impudent farce Fy-
cry mile they travel and every hour they con-
tinue in session they insult the people The
purpose of the commission is the evasion of
the most important question before public
attention, and if the present tariff is not con-
tinued it will not be because the work of the
Commission is not sufficiently evasive
q. n. S.
FIFTH ANNUAL EXCURSION OF THE J. V
/ 2. Ave didn't participate in the printers
excursion To Rallafnntn inc+ u. ia..- - Ii