Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-11-18
FIN N TIT. WEST.
Funny MOTIFS CSTHEHED FROM All.
Qt NHTIit~.
The Ideal Hulc-N ouid'i be- Presi,lcuf Tales
for ToJdiers s-Thc I.iur-;%i,u lao. ctc.,
cIg.. Cir.
40, III woxr.

40. III woN'T.
A letter from Kalamazoo. signed MANY
Citizens. inquired Il Brother Gardner
of the Lime Kiln Club. would take =
Presidential nomination IN 1900 sd add-
ing that ii he would six million color.d
citizens would - once begin Nv uJy. I'll
this matter.
II mus reply nr To- thst qucshuu.
piled the Old man "a hr dy-V hims II up
an inch taller II know dat Pr sid at
am n sort % o'fiura-head who has uutfl tp
10 hut sign q few papers au walk arouu
with his hands uuder hi, coat-t;'il pockets
an ] have no doubt that any member II
dis club am p rteckly qualified; but vg
doau' want dt oils Washington ain ton
unhealthy, an il am not sicll place -
We want TO bring up our chillcn III.
II desire 70 observe. began tn Z w..
Pcnstock rs he uIliuked huascll-''I dc-
sire to ohs rye dat in caso--
"BrIdder Penstuck, am dar moshun
befo' house 2 demanded the President.
"No, sah.
Am dar rcsolusthun h-ngiu' fire Z:
"No, suh
Den vou drop back Iou am severely
out o order, sab =
WHERE he GOT SMITH.
one day several years ago an Eastern
mnu dropped Ito Il village IN tins State
and made known tn fact thai lac was
anxious to purchase general store.
There were several in the town, and ali
willing to SELL but the stranger said hc
would hang around for a frw DAYS to see
how much business was being done
One of the dealers, named Smith, saw
where little extra work might count for
a good deal. and ne called in a fellow
towHsmau named Gilbert, aud said:
Now, Gilbert, l waHt to SILL and /
want to give that Eastern chap an idea
that | am doing staving cash business
Here is 500 and want YOU to come in
about 4 O'Clock and trade i out IN sugar
and tea, and say that You'll send for The
stuff tomorrow.
Gilbert pockctcd the cash ond was on
hand at the hour named The strang i
was in the store with his eyes wide open.
and Gilbert walked il and called out
Say, Smith, I'm coming ia tomorrow
to pay you that 575.
That's all right" was tic reply.
Want anything to-day?'
We'll, | might look at an overcoat.
Smith winked and winked, but Gilbert
insisted on looking over the coats. aud
finally found one to s,ut. Then he helped
himself to pair Of boots and hat, and
LAYING down the 500. h remarked
Take your pay out of that. | reckon
I've saved at least 3 over any other store
in town.
He was given about ninety cents IN
change. and walked oil with his pur-
ch;ls, and was not seen again for week.
The stranger not only did not buy Smi'l
, out. hut when Smith went to take that
$50 ont Of Gilbcrt's hid hc was thu man
who got whipped.
TALES FOR ToDpLERs.
One evening Lucy's Young Man lid
not keep his cugag ment to com and
help h.r Hold Down III Sofa. and sh
was Y IN angry. because the Young Nan
generally brought along box of Candt
ana Lucy could maxi ii Look Tired about
as easily as any Girl III town.
So sh, sat down at III Piano and he
gan to sing. After shn had given tn
folks a Sample OF when the Ross
Bloom Again, "Onlv Pansy Flow T.
Empty is tn Cradle, and f-w OH
Cons OF Melody that would make mm
| feel ike committing Murd L, her faith
sid that p rhaps sh. had better Quit, a'
/ H. didn't car about having the Patro
Wagon making usel s. trips on such i
cold night.
Lucy made no reply to this mark o
! Ii + Fathers. Int only slamm Il the muNi'
down pretty Hard, probably to SHOW
what She could 10 III case sht shoul,
ever Cit Roal Hot. Then sh. began +,
play the Piano. starting it with "Th,
( Battla of Prague. When she had i'm
lsh 4 til piece her Papa went across tn
Room to where his eldest son was sittm.
ana hand Il him Fifty Dollars.
why. Papa, said Lucy, what 81
Won giving james all that money for
Your broth bet me Fifty Dollars
he replied. ''that YOU would Knock Ca
the Piano in the FIRST Round, and ! ~
giving up the Bundle.
Then Lucy began 70 Cry. and said Tim
her Father and Brother were Nasty HoI
rid Things. But they only laughed 4
her. and when Sic had gone mp stair
her Papa said TO James Let u open
Small Bottle.
Men are very Curious Creatures. chi
dren. Th V viii frequently op n SmaI
Bottle. and then 60 home and til th'i
Wives that times are too hard 70 buy
new Bonnet. But somctim ) these m
Lose Tn il Grip, and turn up about Thu
teen or Fourteen o'clock at night, havm
had to hire Hack to get home IN, on
then somebody gets q Saalskin SacqUr.
| think it serves thcm right. Don
Won agree with me, children - Hiug
Yribulc.
THE REAL PROFIT.
4 Baltimore man vino bought hlm
farm two or three years ago WIS rec ntl
approached hy friend who had som
money to invest and who asked:
Can | buy 4 pretty fair farm &
80. 5.00O?"
Yes, about that figure.
And I'll want to Lay out about SO
600 in improvements. pr sum
Yes. fully that.
And | can invest another $1,000 !
bloodrd stock
II think you can.
! And 5000 more in grading, film
up. creating fish ponds, and so forth? "
''W,H. you may get through with tn
SiIm