The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1882-10-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

Black stovcpipe hats will soon be
ripe.
A soft head is better than hard
heart.
Now present your straw hat TO the
poor tramp.
A popular book for prisoners
The Gates Ajar.'
Fishing for rich husband isn't
all net gain.
Hay fever comes high, but some
folks will have it.
Jack Frost is the deadly enemy of
the malicious mosquito.
No one ever heard of country
editor having the govt.
People 60 the thousand Isles to rid
themselves of thousand ills.
All that glittcrs is not gold. The
diamond must have n show some
where.
The amateur sportsman is now
busy picking bird shot out Of his
victims body.
Funny fact-That noon, whether
we spell It backward or forward, its
always midday
Politicians in New York seem to
be in n blind pool and some of them
mighty poor swimmers.
The greatest comfort in old age is
the memory of u well spent life,
albeit some prefer bank account.
Reed Il Cash, Of Chicago, failed
the other day. The firm doubtless
leaned on Reed instead of on Cash.
Cetewayo is now reported to be
mashed on an actress. That settles
it. He'll never be any good ON earth
again.
When man gets very rich down
in Mexico he proceeds to build n for
tress to protect himselfand his goods
from the brigands.
1t is singular freak the ladies
have, that of making their new bon
nets match everything but their hus-
bands pocket books.
A brass band in Iowa sercnadcd
member of the Legislature who is
stone deaf. The face didn't occur to
them Till it was all over.
Large fans OF black ostrich fcatll-
ers are still the rage. They have
been dubbed the Iangtry,' simply
because she never carried one.
An Illinois journal speaks OF Mr..
Snow, widow lady. If Mr.. Snow,
in addition to becoming widow is
also widow lady, he's in luck.
The latest aesthetic slang the ladies
use when rcproving their admiring
gentlemen friends is: You hatter too
awfully perfectly mnch.
The preparations for the corona
ton of the Gar are being rapidly
pushed forward. Thirty-fivc more
nihilists have been sent to Siberia.
A great many duels would meet
with short stop If the authorities
would announce in advance that they
would not interfere.
An exchange tells how one can
live on $40 year. We don't want
to live on $40 a year. We had rath-
err live on $45 year and have some
fun.
Paul Boynton Offers to go over
Niagara in his rubber suit for $4,000.
In the interest of peace and quiet, it
might pay to hire him to do it.
The San Francisco Alta character
ICES the California Republican State
platform as in many senses the most
serious document drawn up.
The covetous person lives as IL the
world was made altogether for him
and not for the world; to take in
everything and part with nothing.
Quaint little smelling bottles are
now seen dangling from the waist
belt of the girls Of the period, and
now she can faint whenever opportun-
ity offers.
A family, consisting Of man and
his wife and three daughters, all or
whom suffered from obliquity Of
vision, are popularity known as the
:squintet'
Nature shows no mercy--cvcry
where it is hard, pitiless law, every
infraction of which incnfs punish
ment. Mercy is the chief attribute
of the Christian religion; hence its
power.
In some parts of Chicago and Troy
there is saloon for every sixth
house 1t is only the great cities
that can thus place the delirinm
tremens within the reach of all.
Poets will soon commence to rave
about the scre and yellow leaf,'while
the less poetic natures are wondering
where they can raise the cash to fill
up the winter coal bins.
Never forget that it is your duty
to laugh whenever you find anything
to laugh at. A good laugh says
Charles Lamb lie worth a hundred
groans in any state of the market.
James,, said motherly woman to
4 young man whose first sermon she
had just heard, James why did you
enter the ministry i had q call