davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-03-28


The difficulty of proposing to the
young lady is not always the most Sc
rious one the sutton has to encounter.
Popping the question to ones future
mother-in-law, or "asking Papa" is
frequently the more arduous under :
taking of the two. When Prof. Ay.
toun was wooing Miss Wilson, daugh-
ter ofProf. Wilson, the famous "Chris-
topher North, he obtained the Iady's
consent conditionally on that Of her
fathers being secured. This Aytoun
was much too shy to ask, and he pre-
vailed upon the young lady herself to
conduct the necessary negotiations.
ave must deal tenderly with his
feelings" said glorious old Christie
pher. "Pll write my reply on a slip
Of paper and pin it to the back ofyour
frOck.p "Papa's answer is on the
back of my dress, said Miss Jane, as
she entered the drawing room. Turn
ing her round, the delighted professor
read these words: "With the authors
compliments. - Chambers Journal.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-03-28

Having bought the McAlster interest in the above
named firm at considerable discount thereby en-
abed to offer great inducements in prices Dry Goods
Boots, Shoes &c Call and what you do before
you buy With thanks to my friends for past favors
hope to solicit liberal share the same in the future
ESOT}T. -. LYnTTIF[
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-03-28


Maybe n man feels happy and
proud and aattered and envied and
blessed among men when he sees a
pretty girl trying to raise a window
on a railway car, and he jumps mp
and gets in ahead Of the other boys
and says, "AIlow me1g Oh, 40 court
eously, and she says. HOh. il you
pleasei l would he so glad" and the
other male passengers turn green with
envy, and he leans over the back Of
the seat and tackles the window in a
knowing way with one hand. If per-
adventure he may toss Il airily with
a simple turn Of the wrist, but it kind
Of holds on, and he takes hold with
both hands, and il sort of doesn't let
60 10 any alarming extent, and then
he pounds it with his fat, but it only
seems to settle "lcetle closer into
place, and then he comes around
and she gets out Of the seat TO give
him a fair chance, and he grapples
that window and bows up his back,
and tugs and pulls and sweats and
strains, aud his hat falls of, and his
suspender buttons fetch loose, and
his vest buckle parts, and his face gets
red, and his feet slip,and people laugh
and irreverent young men in remote
seats grunt and groan every time he
lifts, and cry out, "Now, then, all to
gather as IL in fmockery, and he
bursts his collar at the forward but.
ton, and the pretty young lady, vexed
at having been made so conspicuous,
says, in her iciest manner, "Oh, never
mind, thank you; il doesn't make any
difference and then calmly goes
away and sits down in another seat,
and that wearied man gathers himself
together and reads book upside down
--Ohl doesn't he feel good, JUST
Maybe he isn't happy, but if you
think be ism 'tdont be fool enough 10
extend any Of your sympathy. He
doesn't want any Burdette.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-03-28
? Tie Ms1dtsmeac

The KeH~Antkmetic.
A merchant bought four barrels OF
sugar, seven barrels Of molasses and
two barrels of peal. g Find what per
cent. Of beans he mixed with his cof-
fee.....A beggar met two boys; one
gave him seven ceris and the other
gave him eight cents. Find the name
Of the third boy who bit him in the
ear with snow ball, IA county Of
fcer on salary Of $500 per year,
purchased two horses for 5000; a car
rage for s400, set of silver for 5000;
four silk dresses for his wife at $50
each, and played poker to the tune of
$3.50. How much did he save out of
his years salary, and what is the
county going to do about it?......A
mother standing at 1lie gate calls %
her boy, who is exactly sixty-eight
feet distant. II takes two minutes
and TWENTY-FIVE seconds for the sound
to reach him. Find from this the veloc.
ity with which womans voice travels
IA woman earned forty.two cents
per day by washing, supported hus.
band who consumed 81 worth of pro.
visions pen week How much was
she in debt at the end of each month
up Ito ~the time he was sent to the
work hcuseS -. A farmer agreed 10
give his son four aud one half acres
Of land for every cord of wood he
chopped. The son chopped three sew
enths of a cord and broke the axe and
went of hunting rabbits. How much
was he entitled to?-[Free Press.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1882-03-28
TERMS MODERATE.

IN Tuiti0n, prices rsnge frola ~ 70 80 IN n
regular Departments. Primary, VS., lntermedias
$50, Preparatory. sac. and Collegiate. 40.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
THE KING OF B0URBONs he rs.
& fRrom the washington c.pi.a,.,.

From the Washington Capitai.ls
The Washington Capitol pronopnccs
George Vest the keenest wit 10 the SEN
ate. But 1t forgets 10 add that lie Is al
sothe most unreconcilable Bourbon
Inter-Ocean. IT. ..ts
Well, since you remind rs OF 1t, we
feel bound to admit that the quality of
Vests democracy is not strained. But
Bourbon or not. he comes nearer to the
intellectual stature ot Stephen A. Doug
las than any man that has been seen or
heard in the senate IN twenty years.
Don't make any mistake about Vest.
1t the democratic party delegates to him
the monopoly OF making ito blmders 1t
will elect the next president bysa very
large majority. 5...,-.-.l....e
We feel an especial pride In vest, be-
cause we were the first to put him in
nomination TOR the senate In 1879.
He, was elected in 1875 aud the first
thing he did upon his arrival in Wash
ington to take his seat in the called ses-
sion of 1879 was to explain to an anus.
cd group that il had taken him six years
to overcome the effects ot our pioneer
nomination Of him ri 81 Ell
But We readily iorgavstkat.ia
lAsewe understand II. no higher COM
pliment can be paid to q democratic
statesman than for the Inter Ocean TO
call him Bourbon - zt@<-:i'
We would like to see the house and
senate chock full OF such Bourbons rs
George Vest. 1T such q: thing could
happen the country would be sure OF a
long lease. Of wisdom ,iberality and
courage in public affairs likewise wit,
=.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
"Ah 81 Jeunesse Savait r.

('fA. @. Gordon. in the Century. Bric-a- Brac
Thst frecEisS-rsced .msll gil. could Ssow
In most sstousding way.
To lovely women, In whose eyes
The ltsht man most longs for lies
~ ssIessesse s0>s0.
Had youth but knswn-my youth. Imean-
That you would walk - regasnt queen
on hearts IN this new day
That ella locks could change to curls.
S:.i:. ~ :sa s.s:s :s,saa ;saaai-- a
HID ycsth but known tbe time wooulfi come
When should stand. abashed and dumb,
With not one word to say,
Before You. whom. IN days gone by,
I'D tssse until you cosld 6nt cry
III, E Jesaesss ss>aii!
! Mttls dreamed in fhose old days
OF undevsloped winning ways
To vile Nenss hearts away
splashed your beet frock through and through
III, 81 JeNnesse s0vajW
Your pretty nose-ah there's the rub
1 used to lsaxh st oncs as "snub.''
10 now Nss refSoHsses
YOn wear French kids now, trim and neat,-
~ 0iSsaesesss sasGiI!
Ihe brtef fii!t. skirt. The laxs al bare.
The freekled facs. the tangled hair
These thtngs sra passed away:
Yo. are woman now. foil grown,
With 1oyera oi your very own
IN, n LeHNesss s0Soit!
You'd plead to be my conrade then.
With fearful Zig brown syes-Ah, when,
Ny winning. winsome Nav,
VIII words like those your lips stween.
Come back againP No more. Wssn!
H. 81 .esSesss so>0i
Time turns the tables. 1t 10 meet,
Doubtless, that here At ysur feet
Should feel your sceptsr.s sway
Should know you hold me meath your heel
should love you, and sh0uld-Well, should IL ell
III, 81 ZexResse s0N0S2!
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
LETTING REPUBLICAN, SAUGGLERS
-. II GO UHPUHIsHED. as,e

WAsnrNGroN, March "a great
effort is making to induce Secretary
FoIgar and President Arthur to overlook
the little smuggling escapade OF Deputy
Collector James A. Briggs, of New
York. Mr.. Briggs, who Is a very vir-
tuous republican and a great civil SER
vice refOrmer, undertook to smuggle n
silk cloak from one Of the Cmard steam.
ers. carrying it of under his own arm.
The surgeom ot the steamer had ibrought
it for him from London, and Mr.. Briggs
thought there would be no improperly
IN his taking 1t hoMe without, paving
anyadnty. hilio - .fR5i "a -
1.-The interesting fact about this little
attempt at smuggling Is that the cloak
was procured for Mr.. Briggs In London
by Gen. f. A. Merritt. consuY general
OF the United States aud formerly 6bllec-
tor ut the port ot Nsw-fmk. Merritt
IS also a 'virtuous republican,; and the
surgeon OF the ssip took charxerof the
package merely tOioblige him. ~.
VI course beth Of these Gentlemen are
great Opponents OF Senator Conkline.
and in former s-t6eyS dsnoHhcef Gen.
Arthur; but they think rather sAsster of
INN now. sesss assF sss-tf.c,,
Whether the president and secretary
OF the treasury will condOn6 fi,fs little
Smuggling enterprise OF Messrs. Briggs
and Merritt remains to bs.seen.irsf
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
A WITTY ANSWER TUREETH AWAY
WRATH.

! Tho man who travels on tho railroad
aud sits down by the side; 81 lone ie.
males, while laboring under the inn.
preston that he Recognizes aiiReness in
their faces to his wifs's auut's cpuslu
met his match on Que OF the roads in
this vicinity lately. He sat. down IN
the hall of seat. the other haifof which
was occupied by pleasant laetti young
lady. His first question was
Pardon mo, Miss, but Is your name,
Jamese have cousin of thkt name
whom you greatly resemble.' ,s.,.aa
mo. sir" was the reply, .',my name
is not James, But, pardon me, 10 yonr
name Zinc or Copper i''s - - 'sa@
s''.Z,nc orr CcpperP No. ema'am."
said the astenished man. !; .-What led
you 70 suppose / had. such namer'
"Excuso me,"' was the quiet reply,
''but thought you must be first cousin
20 a brass ioundry.'-' .58ssss ~
The man fell ovor tive seats and kick.
ed bird eage half way down the car
in his haste too get into the smoker.
while the young ,Iu!y smiled . gentle
smile behind her handkerchief. Il was
proof of the old adage that q wiisy an.
swer turneth away b0res.. sss-
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
The Bellies.
~ r.. A. PoKtrkss.)

(For the IntellfGencer.l
Hear the nsisy unHedesd bellies t
School girl beilsi
What world OF funiment their chttter-oharter
tells; @ &
How they giggle. EigEls. gigsis from the dawn
until the night; -
Wsile on hugh heels they wiggle. and in tight
costumes they vElggie 4,
With feminine delight;
Keeping time, time, time. In slangy sort Of
rhyme,
To the odd comElomeration that unmusically
sWslIs,
From the olsttering and the chattering of the
bslles. g.
dear the grown-up styliah bslies,-
Bsnged-up bellies! .
What LOT OF fashion plates their very presence
tells;
Ftom high noon to set Of sun. how they shine
out. every one,
| And the shrill soprane notes come from aegre-
gated throats, .4
Out OF tunsi
II ~ they walk. and talk, to buy while the shop
girls standing nigh -u g.,
Long for night or rain to come.
OIL from these sounding sells,
What 9 xash Of gossipinE numerically wells;
How 1t swslls. how 1t dwells
Ga the pavement; how it tells Of the enwui that
impsls
All this unsnding way Of spending by the bellies,
| All this ceaseless street-yxrn- spinning by the
bellies.
Hear the loud. alarming belles,-
Brazen bellesl
What . tale Of tip-tsp speed their turbulency
tells
From The fsst TO latent liRht, how thew nod and
hirt at sight.
Far toe rapid they for speech, they prefer to
scream and ssreech,
Above all tunel
In q elamorous appealing to the feeling of the
besux,
In mad expostnlation to the dull and careless
besux;
Rising every sentence higher, in q desperate
desire. D.
| And . resolute endsavor to engage right now or
never.
And secure one Of those very slippery beaux.
On. the bellies. bellies. bellies. what tale their
loudness tells
or despsiri
In the concert Or the square, IN the church or
open airi
l
BY their ciinging and their swinging. how their
danger ebbs and flows;
And the ear distinctly tells,
| by their JangiinK and their wrangling how
| their prospect SINKS swells;
By the rising or the falling, In the anger of the
| bellies;
bythe friendship or the fury Of the belles.
Hear the meaning OF the bellies
| zssss bellies
What an age sf wasted time their frequent pres
ence tells;
In ths-xraua. ballroom at night. how they
tremble with alright
At the melancholy scarcity Of beaux, x
And every sigh that noats from their rufr.d and
| jewslea throats -
ha grosni
And the others. oh, the others pretty brides
srproud young mothers,
| tN0t alone.)
Who are dancing, dancing, dancing, with 8
pleasure most entrancinr;
Feel some glory In outshining;al the wall-now.
ers once - gay.
They are neither girl nor woman, youngsters
say) they're scazcsly human
They're old maidsl
And some old-tins beau Il king, now q hus
| band.) leads the ring.
Calls to mind the banished days. when the wal,
flowers had the praise,
And he smiles. - this he tells, and he dances
and sxeols
All bis former .feats in waltzinx. keeping tim
: To the sighinE Of the bellies. Of the bellies;
To the saddened surface-smiling of the bellies:
Te the whispering and the glsncing of the (nsw
alssI nen-dsncing)-
of those faded, fast. nirlscious. former bellies
l.,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
RICHARD L. LLOYD.
tFrom the Missouri Brunswicker.I

[From the Missouri Brunswicker.1
The Confederate Association, by It's
executive board, passed resolution
on the 18th day Of February, At st.
Louis, commencing to the charitable
aud gallant Of all parties aud OF both
armies, the case OF Richard l.. Lloyd,
of Dalton, Charlton county, Mo.
Mr.. Lloyd lost both arms at Lex
ington by the premature disclarse of
a cannon, in September, 1861. Ono
arm was amputated below tho elbow
and the other above. Crippled aud
disabled as he is. he has managed to
make living for his family. But the
failing health Of his heroic wife and
the necessities Of his interesting CHILD
rem have led his friends TO present
the facts in his case to the state assO-
citation, aud he is deemed fit and
suitable person to commend to the
public, particularly of our county, as
one worthy and deserving Of charita-
bic aid, such aid: ls willjenable him
to earn living and provide for, the
support of his infirIn wife and the
education aud support of Ills yOtng
daughters. Those. inclined. to assist
in this generous work will send rnii-
tributions IN any sums to Major H,r-
veyiW. Salmon treasurer of the assOci-
alton, at Clinton, Henry county, Mis-
souri,, who will remit to DR.. 4. j.
Martin. at Dalton: Mo-, forthe benefit
OF Mr.. Lloyd aud. family. H. would
perhaps be as well for those. In the
immediate vicinity 10 send their funds
to DR.. Martin. at Dalton. who will
ADVISE Major Salmon of amounts re-
ceived, in order that accnrate arcounts
may be kept and sums report cdia the
next meeting OF tie association In
Sedalia, OH the 10Th day of August
next. -. -
1t is the object and iatentionfof tho
state association TO establish q broad
system of charities for the benefit OF
the MANNED, disabled and imttigeat of
the confederate soldiers of Missouri,
and for the widows and orphans of
/ hose Of our comrades who fell dur
ing the war. Disclaiining any pur-
pose Of asking gor'cxpecting pensions
from the general government. IL is
the desire OF the association, to give
s6cl, aid as is required, by private
contribution, and 10 this cid the gal.
liant aud generous. OF both armies,
whether federal or confederate, are
invited To contribute. 'sst7t"
We recomneHd that q fund he
started in Charlton county for MIR.
Lloyd's immediate Mccessiiies, and
that permanent organization be ef-
sfected, auxiliary to the state .orgaui-
cation, for the purpose OF aiding any
cases OF similar necessity III any other
part Of the state. Tho ex6eitive
board have had other calls presented
to them, but Mr.. Lloyd's is iha only
one yet known. to exist where the
manned soldier has iost both, arms.
AMI has therefore received their. first
attention. r. Fl. MUssER,
q. "a ia Az f'~ j. q. Wallace,
y 81 i ia. -,,.3ss.i..@ C0mwittee,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
POOR INDEED.
from The WisIllsaolr. III, re,a,ssu,. a,s,.siirl IL


Thousands Of girls ale never taught
to work. and their condition is most pit.
liable. They 'have been taught 10 des-
pise laborand to depend UPON others ior
a living. and are perfectly Aeaslsss. 1t
misfortune comes upon their friends as
i: often does, their case fs hopeless.
The most forlorn and miserable Women
upon earth belong to this class. Every
girl should be taught toearn her own liv-
ing. The rich as we'll the poor, require
this training. The wheel OF fortune turns
swiftly around the rich are vefyy likc. Y
to become poor and the poor rtciS Skill
10 labor is nosdisadvaniage TO- the. ! rich,
and is sindispensaible to the. poor. Well
to-do parents must educate their, chill
dren TO work. No reform ID morS i'm.
peratively needed than this.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
[From the Toron,o Globe !

ABR ham Lincoln used tn say tho
very best story. he ever read of himself
was this: Two Quak err esses were trav.
cling on the railroad. and we're discus
sing the probable Termination of the
war. 81 think" SAID the first. .tthat
Jefferson will succeed''sH "Why does
thee think so PA. asked the other BE.
cause Jefferson is q praying man .
'tAnd SO is. Abraham praying mar. .
eyes, but the Lord win think abraham
is joking"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
POPULATION OF THE UNITED
STATES,

The following table presents tho tinal
official figures of the population of the
United States at the tenth census. as
compared with that Of 1870. The tig-
urss ior Indian Territory. and Alaska
are omitted. as their inhabi itanrs 5 are NOT
considered citizens. All Indians not
subject to taxation are also omitted. In
conformity with the census law: 49,.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
Sold by G. W. .LOOMIs. July9-eo

Its first effect Ia to increase the appetite. II
assists digestion. and causes the food TO assimi-
late properlv-thus the system is nOurlshed. II
also. by its tonic action on the digestive organa
tndnoes more copious and regular evacnations.
while under the influence Of the Syrup, Of itselI
indicates that NO other preparation can be.beiter
adapted to help and nourlsh the constitution, /,
and hence be moro efacacious In all ,devression
Of spirits, ahsking or trembling OF the hands or
body. cough. shortnsss OF breath. or censump-
tive habit. The nerves and muscles become
strengthened, and the blood purified. f{ll
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
WHAT ROSECRANz SAYS.

WASHINGTON, March 9.-Gen. Rose.
Grams declines to say anything in reply
to the letter published yesterday, pur-
porting to have been written by General
Garfield in 1868. He says he is taking
steps to ascertain whether or not the
letter is genuine and will await Tie .ro.
suit of these inquiries before saving
anything upon the subject.
General Rosecrans adds: Gas the
letter gravely affects the character of
General Garfield for truth and yerac,ty.
deem At due to him to first ascertain if
it is genuine"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18

The various kinds of waste or decay that affect
the human body, though attended each with
seme symptom not common with the rest, agree
ysrv much in this, that the basic In all is nearly
majority Ol diseases arc accompanied By. faulty
digestion; and such being the, case. We must. IL
order TO cure such diseases, cause the orRans Qf
digestion to perform their proper fdnctlons. No
remedy has before been discovered which has
20 beneficial an influence ON these organs a.
fellovs' Compound Syrup Of Hypophosphites.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18

|. WARRINGTON, March lO.-The publ.
cation OF Garfeld's letter to s ,lmou p
CHASE, in regard TO the Army of the
Cumberland, and Rosscrans' general
ineaPacity. has stirred up considerable
amount os bitter feeling here. 1t is do.
nounced as snarllng. cowardly, hypo.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
CE0RGE a. RATHRUN.
,ouu nyLAND. xYNoPHoN RYLAND,
Notary Public.
RYJ.AND 4 RYLAND.
THOs. J.DULING.
[AA1 WxILA1N =; s 4 CHILEs.

A TroRNEYs AND COUNsELLORs AT
"A Law. Lexington. Mo. Onice, 'front.' room
over the Lexington Savings Bank. I" opposite
he cour, house. " i'll practice in the courts OF
aiayette and surrounding counties. and ALSO In
he Supreme court Of the state OF Missouri, anu
Le u. s. Circuit and District courts Ior tne
Western District of Missouri. 49,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18

pulmonary diseases, afording prompt relief
and rapid cures. and Is adapted to patients Of
any age or either sex. Being very palatable,
the youngest children take It readily. In
ordinary Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat,
Sore Tsrost, Asthma, % crosp. .nd Cs.
tarrh, the effects of AYERS CHERRY PFC
ToRAL are magical, and multitudes are an
nually preserved from serious illness by its
timely and faithful use. It should be kept
at hand in every household for the pro-
lection It affords In sudden attacks. In
Whooping cough and Consumption
there Is no other remedy 80 efficacious,
soothing, and helpful.
Low prices are Inducements to try some OF
the many mixtures, or syrups, made Of cheap
and ineffective Ingredients, now offered,
which, a. they contain no curative qualities,
can afford only temporary -xRlief, and are
sure to deceive and disappoint the patient.
active and effective treatment; and 1t ia dan
gerous experimenting with unknown and
cheap medicines, from the great liability that
these diseases may, while 80 trifeQ with,
become deeply seated or incurable. Use
AYER's CHERRY PEcTORAL, and you may
standard medical preparation, of known and
acknowledged curative power, and is as
cheap as its careful preparation and fine
ingredients will allow. Eminent physicians,
knowing its composition, prescribe It in their
practice. The test of half century has
proven its absolute certainty to cure all pull
monary complaints not already beyond the
reach Of human aid.
Prepared by Or. j. G. Aver 4 Co.,
Practical and Analytical Chemists.
Lowell, Mass.
BOLD NJ ALL pRrssIars rvKRywHrp.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18
The BEST REMEDY
Disease! Of the Throat and il.yngs.

In diseases OF the pull
monary organs q safe
and reliable remedy Ia
Invaluable. AYER's
CHERRY PEcToRAL ID
such a remedy, and no
Observation-Disclosures
its the confidence OF
the public. It Is q sci
entihc combination oi
the medicinal princi-
pies and curative viz
tues Of the finest drugs,
chemically united, oi
such power a to insure
the greatest possible
efficiency and uniform
ity Of results. Itstrikes
at the foundation of all
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1882-03-18

bnttsrick's patterns ami catalogue for
March have arrived. Call ri WiIker 4 Mi.
lsr's and get one. m1l,2