Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-12-08
F. U N

u ~ ~
This is the Lark. Take good lock a
the picture, SO that you may recog-
nlze the original when you walk out.
sis the lark an early bird?"
every early. He is always out of bed by
the time the first saloon is opened"
"What are his chief virtues ?"
HE hasn't any.
"Does he sing ?''
s'He does. He sings his best about mid
night. and he has been known to wake up
policemen sleeping in stairway four
blocks distant"
SIS he easily domesticated ?"
ooh, yes. He will sometimes permit
himself to be carried half mile on
wheelbarrow, and 1t is very rare that be
evidences any timidity in the presence OF
= large Central Station audience"
'What is it's chief value ?''
sHis right to vote and his readiness to
sell out to the highest bidder
Would it be a sin to kill Lark 20
SIT would be against the law, There is
no need to kill him. however. His
life is short and full Of cold and hunger
and rags, and insults and hard knocks.
and nobody remembers where he is buried
or cares what becomes of his bones"
Il tells yer Sam, dat dars heep i'll dat
sayin' about de arly bird cotches de wum.
Dis mornin' got up jess about day to
get tonic at de saloon, and de fust objec
sot eyes on when got outen de street
was portmania."
''What new disease am dat ar 20
"A portmania, you cussed fool, am
money puss wild $40 in hit"
- OATS de berry puss dars dollar
reward offered for at de newspaper
ofice.''
l know hit, Sam; but Use not gwine ter
take hit dar, bekase den all my friends will
say dat returned dat puss jess ter hab
folks say dar was one honest niggah in
Austin dat wanted ter get myself puff
fed in de papers, and hab folks talk about
my honesty; dit was boastful niggah-
Raddeh den hab my motives mlsunder-
stood by dis heah Austin public, II,
squnder de las dollar of dat N oney IN
riotus libin."
ssYou mustn't touch the top of the ba-
by s head,' said mother to her little four
year-old; ''she has soft spot there that
is very TENDER The youngster gazed
it curiously for a moment, and then asked.
''Do all babies have soft spots on thelI
heads?" Yes" "Dld papa have soft
spot on the top of his head when he was
baby?'' YES" replied the mother, with
a sigh, "and he has got it yet" And the
old man, who had overheard the converse
tion from an adjoining room, sang out.
Eyes indeed, he has, my dear boy, or he
would be single man to-day"
Religion above all things: "What 9TH
Il er business do you follow besides preach
inga was asked of an old colored man.
VI speculates Iittle.'' "How specul ,te!'
s.Sells Chickens where do YOU get the
chickens?'' my boys fetch 'em in'''-
.sW here do they get them?" II doan
know, sab. Use alters SO busy wild my
preachin' dat aim got no time to ak. l
was gwine ter inquire de udder day, but
syiyal come on an tuck up all my time"
"Ma," howled boy, running into the
house and approaching his mother, INA
little brother hit me with STICK
well, I'll whip your little brother"
said the mother abstractedly, tucking TO-
eether pair of stockings she had been
dalning.
mo, don't whip him. Don't let him
have any supper. [ whipped him before
he hit me-"
An old bachelor leaving his boarding
house for weeks journey, after taking
leave of his landIady, stepped up to salt
mackerel on the table, shook him by the
tail, and said "Good-by, old fellow, see
you when return
A western paper strikes the names Of
two subscribers from its list. because they
were recently hung. The publisher says
he was compelled to be severe, because he
did not know their present address,
A blind pool: 81 trust you are putting
a few pennies aside in your savings bank, >"
said fond father to his son, who was be-
ginning to earn money by doing errands
aud Jobs. "Not any, pa. Ever since l
saw you shaking out a dime from it have
regarded iG as a blind pool. l have no
faith in it," That ended the boys cate
chism for that day.
The difference: A young man ordered
pair of pantaloons of his tailor. and re-
turned them as too tight. you Told me
to make them skin-tight," said the man.
YES" said the youth, but 1 can sit
down in my skin and can't in these"
Health journals insist upon reposing OF
the right side only, and only claim that 1t
is injurious to lie on both sides, but we
don't know where they will find health
Ter set of men than lawyers.
A party of twenty hunters and twelve
hounds got after fox near Macon the 9TH
er day and ran him six miles before they
discovered that it was a country dog
frightened out of his wits,
A fowl in the hencoop is worth two in