The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1882-08-26


Mrs. McGill demands a jury trial, and the
entire bar of New York are almost break
ing their necks to defend her. If the
miserable cur ever comes into court any
respectable jury would be sure to bring
in verdict, g Hit him again."
A very amusing case of pious fraud
occurred here last week, which ought to
serve as caution to our good Christian
people to be careful how they endorse
every vagabond who imposes on their
credulity and excites their sympathies.
On Monday night a poor Italian fruit
vendor was attacked by young rough
and cruelty beaten, because he tried to
prevent the vagabond from eating his
fruit without pay. A policeman tried to
arrest him, but he shot the policeman,
singularly enough, almost in the identi-
cal spot where President Garfield was
shot, and what is more singular still is
that the ball has never been extracted,
and the policeman is now about his duty
as lively as cricket. Wounded as he
was, the policeman took his prisoner in.
The rough Immediately telegraphed to
the Young Mems Christian Association
at Montreal, and they telegraphed to the
Young Mems Christian Association OF
Brooklyn that the accused was very
worthy young man ofrespectable family
and to see him ont Of his trouble. The
Young Mems Christian Association of
Brooklyn Immediately engaged lawyer,
and prayers were offered up at evening
meeting for the delivery of the young
Christian out of the hands of the Philis-
tines. But the Chief Of Police did not
take any stock in young Christians who
travel with revolvers and blackjacks iii
their pockets, so he telegraphed to the
Chief of Police of Montreal for the ante
cedents of tue young Christian, and found
that his mug had for a long time orna-
mented the Rogues' Gallery, and he had
served couple of terms in the peniten-
tiary for robbery. The young Christians
of Brooklyn dropped him like hot
potato, and the Judge sent him to States
prison for eight years, SO that for some
time to come We will not be troubled
with this pious young Christian.
The recent Investigation of the Boarf
of Health among the Russian and Polisl
Jews has brought to light a revelation OF
degradation and filth such as we have
scarcely known in this country before
No wonder that slse-se people have pesti.
lence among them; no wonder that
Moses enacted the most stringent laws
to compel them to use soap and water at
least once a year, for we have lots OF
ancient Talmudists here who look as if
they had not changed their shirts OF
washed their faces since they were led in
captivity to Babylon. I am willing to
make affidavit that the coats and cloaks
of some of them are covered with dust
accumulated at the building Of the
pyramid of Cheops, and that several of
their breeches were worn at the destruc-
tion of Jerusalem. After going through
their tenements Limburger cheese smells
like altar of roses, and saucrkraut ten
years old has the flavor Of lilies of the
valley. They are dirty and they like it ;
they have horror Of water, like that of
mad dog; and if the choice came be-
tween washing their bodies and going to
States prison, believe n'ne out of ten
of them would go to Ststo's prison. We
use ninety millions of gallons of water
every day, over two barrels each day for
every man, woman and child on the
Hebrew friends from Russia and Poland
don't get their share, and as the Board of
Health have insisted on some of them
washing their clothes, they have con-
c1uded that this is not land of liberty,
and have petitoned to be sent back to
Russia. The American, English and
German Jews, who are respectable, clean
ly and among the best class of our citi-
zens, are heartily sick of their Russian
brothers and sisters, and the only regret
appears to be now that the Russians
didn't massacre a few more of them.
The political devil is abroad and the
eauldron begins to seethe aud fume even
while the dog star RACES; SO degrees in
the shade will hardly conduce to an
impartial Judgment. All the conven-
tions are torn to pieces: Republican
and Democratic harmony are very much
alike. Wall street with its thousand
millions and Fifth Avenue and Murray
Hill with theirrespectability may resolve,
but the gentlemen who will decide the
election after all are to be found along
the wharves and in the ~slums. Mike
Hennessey's saloon is bigger factor Oh
election day than the Bank of New York.
and Paddy Lynch's dive on West street
is worth dozen Jay Goulds or Wander
bilts.
1t is not pleasant confession to make,
but the Philistines have got us. 1t may
be that He who watcheth the spalrow's
fall will still take care Of us; though we
don't go much on sparrows now A cool
wave from the north OR somewhere else
has tempered the torrid heat of the past
few days. A beautiful shower of rain
after what we have been through made
us think that the fellows who took an
excursion in the Ark did not have such
bad time after all.
Everything is lovely in Wall street.
If a bear pokes his nose out of bis den the
bulls go for him. Bear-skins are cheap !.
bull-hides are dear, and the prices rapid
! y rising. There are some ealf-skins and
a few lambs; not many, it is true, bnt