Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1882-01-14
SENSE AND YONSEN Z.

l., His kisses fall on my waiting lips as
falls the dew from heaven on the rose5uds
of early spring.
A deacon was asked Ehe had purchased
any Christmas cards. "Why should IL" he
exclaimed, "my old pack is good enough"
ifyeu wish to appear az able in society
YOU must consent to be taught many things
which you know already.
. The farmer that ran rapidly through his
property" wore red shirt and had brin-
dled ball behind him.
No star ever rose and set without infu-
ence somewhere" says . philosopher
/ The same remark is appi cable 20 a her,.
By constantly jumping up and interrupt
/ ing proceedings in Court Gu.teaG is trying
to prove himself insane. He is wrong. All
llwyers do tha..-picayun'
A li.de four-year-old girl did not obey
wlea her mother first called her. So her mo-
tier spoke rather sharply. Then she came
in and said: Mamma I've been very kind
to you to-day, and don'' waat you tc
speak so large TO me-
"Yol are the worst boy ever saw ex-
claimed Brown 10 his SON "Why will you
60 on as you do? l should think YOU would
have some respect for your mthlE' How
can dad, have any respect for man wiin
sach = ,ascally SOM" asked the young rep
robatc-Boston transcript
A Miller in Peru, Ind ell asleep n hia
mill and bent forward I'll hi' hair got
caught in some machinery and was yanEej
oct ard, Of course, it awak,d him, and his
FIRST bewildoring cx .lGmation was: Dnrn
it, wife. what's the matter MOVE
Here is a Yalisc 1t docs nol Wcigs four
Hundred Pounds. 1t is Yalise q an El.tor.
In the Valise are three Socks and a Bottle
aud A Book. There is Something IN the Bot
tie Maybe it i Arnica for .he Editors sore
Finger The Book Is Baxters Saint Rest.
The Socks got into the Va!isc by mistake.
Perhaps the Bottle will get ia.o the Editor
by mistake.
When YOU are coming up the celia, s.airs
with bucket of coal in one .iand, two pie.
and plate of butter in tho other, aud q
loafof bread under each arm, Il Z, exceeding
ly trying to your Christian lorti'ude to hese
a woman yell down and caution you not to
forget the preserves on the swinging shelf in
the corner Of the cellar, next totLc currant
jelly Been there, haven't yous
In n rural district of Arkansas an old MAJ
was accused of fsteaiing rg L; was o
clear case, but to the astonishment of every
body the jury brought in a verlictofnot gull.
ty, in exact opposition to tie evidence and
the Judges charge. When The cOur; adjour-
ned the Judge approached the counsel for
| the defence and remarked: Look tcrc, my
friend, never heard Of such verdict. |
clnnot as an impartial dissent lator Of JUS
tice, allow so fragrant an outrage 20 be per-
petrated on this community. That man is
as guilty as Judas, but if you will tell me
the secret Of the acquittal III allow the YER
dict to pass" "You see Jrdgr, sone of the
jury was rather young and one rather old
O." "Yes, but what does tha: sign p It
signifies that run in the old'm mln's twelve
sons on the jury" p,
Theeommercial Traveller ofa Philadelphia
housewhileir Tennessee approiche1 tran;
ger as the train was about to staft, ard said
"Are you going on this train?"
'T am" -
"IGave you any baggage
NO" i'm
"Wall my friend, you ran d me favor,
and it won't cost you anything You see,
I've got two rousing big trunks. and they al
ways make me pay extra Tor one of thom.-
You can get one checked on your ticket AMI
wen eucher them. See?"'
"Ycs, sec, but haven any ticket"
"But thought you sad yoG were going
on this train?"
$50 am. I'm the coDi1 tor"
"Ohw
lie paid extra as usua'.