Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-01-05
NO NONSENSE
How a French Court Would Have
Tried Gufgeau.
Cincinnati Commercial.

~F~NNF~F+~NN G0tfNtfNtItteste
The French wsy Of conducting the trial
brevity:
The murderer being presented in court.
the Judge would have addressed him:
JRdge-Hal miscreantl You murdered
our good President. He has done no wrong.
bis wife and children mourn; his country
mas lost MIN. Your life has been traced.
I on are scoundrel. What can you sayf
Prisoner-l was impelled by the Deity to
remove the President. It was not a per-
sonal matter. Some OF our politicians were
abusing the President, and for the sake of
peace the Deity put 1t into nv head to re-
move him. The Deity did 1t, not I, as was
but the instrument.
Judge-Miserable Then you plead In
sanity. Take the wretch to prison; summon
commission of experts In diseases of the
mind to make personal examination of
the eulprit and report tomorrow whether
he is responsible for his acts.
The commission would have been found
and the report made without more than one
days delay. The report would have been
that the miserable wretch knew enough To
know that murder was a crime: that his
pretense OF responsibility was the last re-
source of desperate wretch. That would
have been the proper end Of the trial.
Lawyers speeches by the day TO befoc the
The mouth OF the murderer, IL he had at.
tempted to gabble insults, would have been
stopped bY the Judge. The idea of feastin0
the scoundrel in jail, aud running after him
for photographs, and fatterIng by taking A
cast OF his horrid head, could not have been
entertained for q moment.
The Judge would have called up the mur-
derer on the third occasion of his appear
ance In the court, and without wasting
or rhetoric or sentiment-sentenced him ii
death. No time would have been exod "a
the execution. a few days, perhaps, would
have passed, during which the condemed
could have been visited by scientific man
or two, to make sure that the wretch was
not an irresponsible maniac, and for the for
mslity of an application to be made for the
mitigation OF the sentence.
The reply to such an application wouId
have been a simple refusal, and the Cav
after, or, at the furthest, the third dav. q
huge black van would have appeared about
two O'Clock In the morning In front of the
prison, and In an hour the guillotine would
have been in Order-and then The sx12u-
TONER would have knocked on the cell door
of the murderer with the Information that
his time had come and he must make his
toilet OF death. That means a close
shave aud hair CUTTING, and low
necked shirt. While the preparations
were being made the murderer might
have been allowed q cup of coffee,
with perhaps few drops of brandy In It.
Half an hour sutlices Tor the ceremony of
The services OF venerable
priest may be had. The iron gates roll
open without noise, and the CHASTITY assas-
sin is thrust forward, and, under the knife.
as coolly and rapidly as a hog is handled IN
the killing season at one of our pork houses.
and in the twiukling OF an eye, the heavy
triangle of steel glldes down the ladder-like
frame, misses through the neck, ana strikes
a rubber cushion with low thud.
There is nothing IN this process TO cuItf-
vate the vanity OF miscreants to become
autographs, photographs.
and 10 models OF heads nv
bogus artists, or big dinners, or double
breakfasts, or corresp ondence with female
fools.