The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-01-13
Kitchen Help.

IT desire to advertise for a girl to do
general homework, said Laramie lady
to the business man Of the Boomeranq.
sc have had some little trouble and an
noyance during the past year, and would
like, if | could, to get a good girl who
differs In many respects from those !
have been wrestling with. Last fall
heard of good girl who was working
for a neighbor Of mine, and went to
work Systematically to get her. found
afterward that it was a put up job on
me, that my neighbor wanted me to get
the girl more ont of revenge than any
thing else. The girls name was Cleo
patra. She wanted twenty-seven dollars
per month and the use of the piano. ]
was so sure that she was good girl that
I engaged her on that layout. Cleo
patra had 80 many lovers that we had to
move the sofa into the kitchen on Sun
days, and my husband and myself sat
around on the floor, while Cleopatra
wooed the festive mule-puncher. We
wanted to throw all the home influences
we could around Cleopatra, so that she
would feel perfectly cheerful, and like
one of the family. She used to wear
my dresses when I was away, but when
/ asked her to let me wear her wardrobe
she seemed hurt, and her whole system
was churned up with convulsive sobs.
By-and-bye my dresses got kind of
shabby, as the result of continuous wear
by Cleopatra and myself, and so she got
Disconnected, and went away. Then |
got nice girl from Nebraska but just
as she had learned to make pie that
would yield to the softening influences
of time, she married man from Bitter
Creek, who was so cross-eyed that, when
he wept, the scalding tears would roll
down the back of his neck. I then Sc
cured girl from the old country. She
couldn't speak the English language
6uently, and SO we didn't have very
sociable time of it. When ! would tell
her to wash the dishes, she would gen.
orally black the stove, or bring In q
scuttle of coal. I used to pour out my
soul to her sometimes, and ask her to
confde in me, but she had a far-away
look, like man who can not pay his
board-bill. One day at dinner I asked
her to bring in the dessert, butshe didn't
grasp my meaning. and through some
oversight brought in dish-rag on a
tray. She used to scrub the children's
face with the stove-rag, and brush their
hair with the shoe brush, and in that
way soon won their esteem and regard
One day, while we were at table, she
brought in the soup, and in an I'M
guarded moment stuck about seven
inches Of her thumb in the hot soup, in
order to get a more secure grip on the
tureen. In the first impulse of coy and
maidenly surprise, she thoughtlessly
dropped the tureen and the soup in my
husbands lap. My husband is a shy
and reticent man, but he rose with a
graceful movement to his full heigth,
and killed her with carving knife, and
kicked her CORY remains under the table,
After the inquest, / got hollow-eyed
girl from Fort Collins. She was an
orphan, with pale hair that she used to
work up in the hash. She was proud
and impulsive in her nature, and ate
everything in the house. We used to
hear her in the middle of the night for
aging around after cold pie and frag-
ments Of rich and expensive grub. She
had singular yearning for jam and an
impassioned longing for preserves that
we never succeeded In quenching.
When the jelly and fruit-cake gave out,
she would sadly turn her attention to
cold ham and mustard, with the smould-
ering ruin of baked beans, and cold
cabbage and vinegar. We stood it until
groceries went up so, and apples got to
be seven dollars and half barrel, and
then we asked her to send in her resigna-
ton. Shortly after my husband made
an assignment. What would like now
is a good girl, not SO much as COM
panion and confidential promoter Of
financial ruin, but more to wrestle with
manual labor in the kitchen at so much
per wrestle and board. I'm not difficult
to please, but I don't want to pay the
same salary that the cashier of a bank
gets, just for the sake of having pam
pered mental in the house who doesn't
do enough work to drive away her
e1snat5. Boomerang.