Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-11-03
ORR KALEIDOSCOPE.

weeks of experience he drowned himself by
holding his head under water Another
argument for annexation.
A subscriber writes 10 au editor in the
West Il don't want your paper any long.
err To which the editor replied II
would not make ii any longer even if you
did; its present length jus: suit. me.
The Minnesota State Library is IN luck
tlnt is, hard luck. A few days ago the
librarian was surprised by receiving fifty.
one bags weighing several thousand pounds
filed with Congressional documents dating
back to 1920 and intended as a contribution
to repair the loss by the late fire
Under the head OF Grimes and Casual.
ties, an exchange says new SUNDAY paper
Will shortly make its appearance.
A business firm has adopted the Iatin
motto "Frigidus dies est quinn sumus SIMS.
lrum. a very free Interpretation makes It
Its cold day when wr get left"
Too good TO be true is the news from Bcr.
lin that BARRIERS congress there have iinani
mously resolved that tine operation Of shaw.
ing should be begun on the left check that
the laher should be applied with brush
that the nose Of the customer must not be
pulled during the treatment. and last, but
not least. that conversation on the part Of
the operator must be confined - the business
in hand. 1t is again evident that some of
the institutions VI the eiTete monarchies Of
the old World are worthy of imitation.
The Albany EJpgt,, hopes that Mr..
l.angtry lis not like Mary Anderson, knock
kneed.' To the gall)ws with him.
The mysterious origin of man has been
partially disclosed by the Western citizen
who found an infant in tin pail n, the top
of tree.
a Western exchange says that Dakota
man when asked as to what kind OF a wife
he had chosen, said well, you see only
wanted vun to help me mid mcin work,
und vas not particular aboud der scv- mcin
frau vas Norwegian.
A Montreal young man attempted 10 his,
=
dipped her lily white hand up to the wrist in
q gallon of moasses aud passed it rapidly
across the ardent lovers ambr1sa beard
This is what might be called sweet revenge.
Anna Dickinson has lost none If her vignr
OF expression. while intelligent men vote
she said 10 a recent letter IL believe in in
tclligent women voting. While vcna men
sell their franchise, it is hut fair that venal
women should enjoy like monstrous priv.
lcgc and while brutcs aye backed with thi-
additional means of brutality and impuniry.
through rum shops and police courts OF trav-
estied justice, believe in the life compan.
ions OF these brutes having in hand A stan Of
protection and defence
King Cetewayo never wonld make an cGi.
tor. lie couldn't stand tile hor,s at all when
he was in England, and let them know it, 80
| Bntdlo ETprtss
The false prophet i, a thtiitvcoumerei
he eats his enemies, which saves provision
trains and is easier than to kharloum around
the country. boston Past.
! The reason the aesthetics So admire the
stork is that he can stand for hours on one
leg and look as though he didn't know any.
thing and didn't want Ia. .S0mtrrW, .Topi'.
nal
We sheer al the Si4mesc for worshippint
the elephant but think Of the money thul
is paid here annually just 70 see it ,--CihciH.
matt Saturday Night
A book agent had the misfortune to break
his leg at campmceting in Butler, ia, the
other day, anu while the sympath2er- were
gathered around as TWO surgeons set the
6 - l..
1t costs England Sl25 10 fire one Of her
big guns at an enemy, 1t cost this country
great deal more some Years ago L. merely al.
tempt to fire one of her big guns" out o.,
the Presidential chair. - .No,rjro,rn H.
aid
Available Increment. Oh Shoddyworth
(who had retired from business What ale
You a-doin' Of 'AwkinS;' HIS head gar
dener-"l was thinning the grapes, sir.
Old Shoddyworth-"Oh | dcs.ay. That
won't do wi me. y know. What don't eat |
can sell."-L0Hdon Punci.
He bowed to her across the table smirk
ed washed his hands in invisible soap ard
water, and said, ''ONcuse me, dink hat
med you at Saratogas dis Summers my
name is Moses" Il can not recall your
face, she airily answered, "but your name
is quite familiar Memphis .iraldHcic
The Court-"What, prisoner Do Won
mean to say that the witness has testified
falsely :" The prisoner What can he
know about me don't know him never
saw him in my life The Court-"Never
saw HIM; Why, he was one Of your asso.
cates :" The prisoner-''lle wasn't, |
don't know his name. Ask me i, and see II
| do '-Detrot Free Press.
Wilder jenkins" said an Ohio farmer as
l.. 40
am man of business, I'm worth $40, coo.
and want you for wife. give you three
minutes in which to answer" Il don't want
ten seconds, old man :" she replied as she
shook out the dish-cloth Pm woman of
business, worth SlB, 900, and wouldn't NARY
you If you were the last man on earth |
give you minute and half to Git :" He
got WdN Street Noes
DR.. Hewson asserts that the sparrows are
capable Of spreading the SMALLPOX. Shouldn't
wonder at all People have about come IN
the conclusion that the sparruwS are capable
of almost anything that's mean - Lor,N
Citizen.
Another ST. Louis man started intoa news
paper office to wallop the editor few days
ago but when he notice that he was be-
ing followed by six undertakers, five sections
and coroner, all ANXIOUS for Job, he
thought better of it aud went home PlRi.
deiphid Nens.
One day toward nightiall, and in unctr.
tain light, man bought an ovcrcoat of pre-.
tended plum-colOr. The next morning it
proved to be a quite too unms'akabc green.
Returning it to the shopkceptr, that worthy
regarded the buyer calmly and said You
must have little patience with it, my dear
sir it isn't ripe yet."-Ls Figaro.
Speaking of William Penn, it would have
been great disappointment to the Philadrl.
phians ii he had entered that city two hun
bred years ago by way of the Pennsyl-
vania railroad instead Of coming up the
L