The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-03-03
They Out Voted Him.
What Followed Sam Johnsing's Resignation
Future Sf,r7-in-J.aw

| What Followed Sam Johnsing's Resignation a
| Future Son-in-Law.
ssYou make this affidavit against the
Snowfall family, do YOUR asked the
Justice, of Sam Johnsing, holding up the
document.
Eyes, sab, does. Dey puts on q
heap style and paint, but dey am de
ordinariest family in the whole city oh
Austin. Oar amt ten dollars in tho
whole family. I know, because has
been dar."
s'You must not use such language
demonstrated the justice, ''but please
stateyyour case"
''Well, sab, was engaged to be lnar-
ried in de Springtime to dat ar piece of
calico on de mourner's bench; and on
de day befoah New Years 1 made up
my mind to tap my future fodder-in-law
for a ten dollar bill. What am de use
OBJ future fodder-in-law eff you can't
tax him fur temp
did he give you the ten dollars?"
asked the justice.
Sam Johnsing then went on to state
that when he asked his future father-in-
law, old man SNOWFALL, for a ten, the
latter snorted like cow pony when he
hears brass band for the first time, but
finally cooled down and said as soon as
he cashed off a little check he would
hand over the X.
81 said all right and went off, said
Sam, sbut seems dat after / was gone
old man Snowfall asked his darter, Ma
Tidy, to let him hab de funds, but neb-
Der tole her it was for me. She said she
couldn't find her portmania, and asked
her brudder, Bob, who am sitting on
the bench dar, wild his head tied up, fur
de ten dollars. He said he would get it
as soon as de bank opened, as he didn't
hab no small change; and he hunted me
up and down on Austin avenue and ask
ed me ter loan him ten dollars, and [
said / would next day, but / nebber
meant to do no such foolishness, no.
how. You see, judge none of 'em tole
de udder dat hit was me what fust
started de business"
.'Well, what has all this to do with
the ASSAULT" asked the justice.
Next day, New Yeah's day, I called
at de SNOWFALL mansion on Austin
avenue. Dey was all dar. l axed de
old man if he had de ten dollars he
promised me. He said sartinly, and
went ober to Matildy and axed her for
de money she had promised him, and
she said sartinly too, and goes ober ter
bOb Aol OC AAAOIiC3 AiC hsto
Bob said 'ob course and hope may
be struck dead in my tracks eff dat fool
niggah didn' come up ter me and say:
.Brudder-in-law what's gwine ter be,
has yer got de ten dollars yer promised
me?' y
What followed?'
81 jess riz up, and putting my stove
pipe on de side of my head, said: I
tenders my resignation as future SON.
ir1-law, de same ter go inter effect from
right now. Ii yer suspects dat Sam
Johnsing am sich sucker as ter play
matrimony in family dat hain't got
ten dollars on New Yeah day, you am
whisthng ter the wrong pup, OATS ALL
and | made for de door.
.'What next?''
ssWhat nexti Come here, jedge, and
run yer hand ober my wool and feel dat
bump Ike an egg plant. OATS New
Yeah S Gift from Matildy. Does you see
dis heah gouged eyer OATS what I got
from de ole man ter remember him by;
and Use got enudder New Yeah's gift on
nv pusson whar Bob took out mouf-
full wild his teef. OATS why walks wild
cane. tried mighty hard to return
de compliments oh de season, but when
de ole woman poured bilin' water down
my back, drew out as an independent
candidate. Dey out-yoted me, iedge.''
In Consideration of it being the holt
day season, and about the Justices time
for dinner, the cases were dismissed
Galceston Neacs.