Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-26
HsTMaR.


pal land league three
gtlt mail go by the bed
spoken of as q nobby thing
shees.
sad nonsense-A big dinner
tprandial speeches.
aaa ne gods love die young. The
.yadi~ dos love spring chickens.
&c are 2ccused OF being a chronic
Haiet What excuse have you got?"
aNone, boss, 'ceptin' chronic poverty"
r. lied the Austin colored vagrant.-
,1eras Strings.
ARE you certain of securing the
diadem?" asked the minister of the
dying man. And when the man said he
didn't want to diadem bit" the minister
and the doctor flew, and, as a natural
consequence, the man got better
Jeacelers' Circular.
Il SHOULD so like to have coin dated
the year of my BIRTH" said maiden
lady Of uncertain age to a male ac-
quaintance. "no you think you could
get Ole for nle?" Il am afraid not" he
replied. those very old coins are only
to be found in valuable collections"
II is said that wire fences on farms
can be utilized for communication by
telephone between farm houses, so that
farmers wives can visit with each other
without walking half mile. Yes, but
they can't borrow tea and sugar while
they are visiting by telephone, so they
will never be "a success.-Peck's Sun.
Il sEE," said old Mrs. Anchovy, "that
they are making railroad car wheels out
of paper. What do you suppose that's
for, Mrs. Birdseye?" "That, oh, I've
no doubt they are getting scared about
SO many people being run over and cut
In two endwise. and are trying to get
some kind of stuff that amt so danger
Gus. "-Cheek.
LITTLE Freddie was undergoing the
disagreeabie operation of having his hair
combed by his mother, and he grumbled
at the maneuver. why, Freddie"
said mamma, you ought not to make
such fuss. I don't fuss and cry when
my hair is combed." Eyes, replied the
youthful party, "but your hair amt
hitched to your head"
Il HARDLY think we shall remain more
than week at Newport, as the Judge
is partial to mountain air." "The
Judge?" queried Mrs. Slursling; Il
was not aware, my dear madam, that
your husband had adorned the bench"
"Oh dear, yes!' smilingly chirruped
little Mrs. Scantwit; "why, he's been
three times Judge of our town cleo
tions!"
IT was warm Sunday night and
some OF the congregation in the little
church were slumbering languidly, ex-
cept one man who snored in manner
not at all langrid. The preacher OBJ
serving this, left his notes and said to
one OF the deacons in the front row:
will you please ask that brother to
stop snoring or he will keep other
brethren awake" The rest of the
sermon was listened to.-Chicago
Check.
STRANGER, will you take hand with
us at poker?" asked a couple of Austin
sports Of man recently arrived from
Galveston. "Thank you, gentlemen.
but there are seventeen reasons why
cannot accommodate you" what are
they?". well, first, I do not under
stand the game" why, that's the
principal reason we want you to play"
remarked one of the sports, candidly,
seeing that as, far as roping in that
stranger, the game was up.-Teras
SiJtings.
AN eccentric old gentleman who had
married his second wife, hoydenish
young creature, entertained a party of
gentlemen one afternoon, and was much
chagrined by the non-appearance of his
girlish spouse. Upon inquiring he as
certained that she was in the garden.
and thereupon invited his guests out to
be introduced to her. AS they rose to
accept the invitation, his son, lad of
IA, exclaimed: Don't do it, dad!"
"Why not?" he asked, angrily. BE
cause" returned the boy half apologet-
ically, "sbe's up cherry tree."-
Brooklyn Eagle.
CHATS all internal nonsense!" re-
piled the old man from Connecticut, as
the other asked him if wooden nutmegs
were ever really sold in that State.
Give lived there risin' OF seventy-five
years, and | never saw such thing in
all my life" But there are stories to
that effect Il don't kerr for no
stories. All there is to the hull bizness
is the fact that some Of our folks were
so hurried for time that they couldn't
wait for hams to grow, and made 'em
out O wood "They did, chi" Il ac-
knowledge they did, but the Lord never
laid it up agin old Connecticut
ALI them ere hams went to the heather
in Boston. - Val Street NerS
The following is furnished by teacher
in one of the New York City schools as
the first contribution to literature of one
Of ho,, s,ss,s;ls lou % <ala.