River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-01-12
MY EXPERIENCE AS A COOK

work instead
''Say, what's the matter now?" sang
my saucy sister Jenny, as she picked
up the offending paper and laid it care
fully in It's appropriate place.
'Why here is long story to prove
that men cannot cook"
"And can they?"
"What question OF course they
can, if they will bring their minds
down to such trifing employments.
Can your hands accomplish anything
that mine cannot?" and / held up my
ten digits, shaped and colored like her
own.
"But this writer-I have read the
story"-she replied, "makes out her
case from the ignorance of her hero,
not his incapacity!"
Exactly But how long would it
take man of common sense and the
least observation, to learn to prepare a
meal? | am sure [ could do SO now,
and you know | am seldom in the
kitchen, aud when | am, my thoughts
are always on more important matter"
Jenny smiled demurely as she re-
piled:
Perhaps you could but must go
there now, for Anna has been called
away to-day, and it is her week to help
mamma, and mine in the chambers /;
so l have double duty, you see !" and
she went out, leaving me to wonder
why authors would write and editors
publish such unreasonable stuff.
My mother was a pattern house
keeper, and since my fathers death
two years-had managed, with the help
of my two sisters, to do without d ser
want, for our family of fou: persons.
Our home was situated in small vii
lage, where | was now practising medi-
cine with q tolerable success.
''This is delicious bread, mother"
said, at the table, helping myself to a
second square; 'did you make it, or
did Jenny?"
Jenny made il, she replied, with a
glance of appreciation at my sister.
''She is learning very fast; | shall give
her the pastry when her next week
comes around
80, ma there is no use talking about
learning to cook to Edward; he thinks
knowledge of that employment comes
naturally to all-boys as well as girls
and that hs could prepare meal now,
if he would only bring his mind down
to such a trifing occupation"
Every likely" was the reply; "and
then make this corn-bread, you relish
so well ?"
''The easiest thing in the world, moth
err First take the square board
(''moulding board"-suggested jenny
mo matter for the same, so long as |
know its use" | replied; "on that /
should set pan of meal, and to the
meal should add some liquid to make
b moist, and then roll it out on the
GARD and put it in the dripper, and in
to the oven IN bake There, Miss Jen-
ny; what you think now?"
"Patty-cake, patty cake, bakers man,
So / will master, fast as | can;
Roll it. and prick it, and mark it with T
And toss it in the oven for Tommy and me-
recited the monkey. But my mother,
in her gentle manner, gave me n verbal
recipe, then and there; and being lit
tie nettled at my self-impOrtant sister,
! treasured it tenaciously, determined
to show her, at some future time, that
conceit was the most prominent fault
in her character. a few days later, the
family received an invitation to q
double wedding, of some cousins, in
an adjoining state. A week was the
shortest time in which the trip could
be accomplished. and could not think
of leaving my patients so long; but my
mother and sisters could go, certainly !
''But who will cook for your" my
mother asked.
Edward Cooper, of course ~ | re-
piled. eff he cannot cook enough for
one to eat, for one week, have great
" overrated his powers"
Mother and Anna objected strongly,
and each insisted upon remaining; but
Jenny-sone punishment will overtake
that girl yet-declared that it would be
preposterous for any one TO remain,
Just to keep the house for mel
"He thinks he can cook as well as
any of us, and, of course, he knows
what he can do, she said, with a droll
look at Anna. Their scruples were
overcome at last, and the next day
had the satisfaction of assisting them
into the stage coach, ON their way to
the railroad, ten miles away.
For day or two l enjoyed my sol
distant bachelors hall immensely.
There was no necessity for cooking
anything but meat, potatoes, tea and
coffee, and | succeeded admirably.
The steak was rather dry and tough,
from an old or poor animal, undoubt-
edly. And my first cup of tea was de-
cidedly bad. | could not imagine why;
for put in Just the specified quantity
| was particular to ascertain the meas
ure of tea and coffee-and boiled it all
the time my potatoes were baking.
Still il was bitter, dark and stringent,
instead of the fragrant, amber-colored
beverage my mother usually placed
before me. But half the quantity was
an improvement, and | prided myself
ON my economy.
The coffee was better until the third
morning, when / put in a stale egg by
mistake; but that was no loss, as | told
myself, for it would teach me to be
more careful in future, and, accord
ingly, | examined each one carefully.
One morning, l resolved to have
some fried for breakfast, and the first
one | took up. having a suspicious
look, to test it, | shook it near my ear,
when pop went the abominable thing,
and ear. beard and mouth were sprin-
killed. with the unfragrant liquid.
taught / can smell it yeti But that
was not all; for stepping back to reach
the haud-basin, | trod on Jenny's cat
/ wonder if cats are possessed By an
evil spirit?-and to save the squalling
brute, hurriedly raised my foot and
planted it square in the egg basket,
tangled the other in the handle, and
measured five feet and ten inches on
the kitchen floor, to the horror of the
wretched cat, that fled splitting and
swelling, to the garnet, satisfied, no
doubt, with what she had done.
| kicked the basket from my feet,
and should not be willing to swear that
/ did not use my feet more than was
necessary for that purpose.
Good and bad eggs were unmistak-
ably mixed now, and | threw the Shiny
mass out of doors, with decided an
tipathy to eggs for breakfast
The next day some evil genius mus
have whispered me to cook some
beans. They viii be so convenient
thought. This cooking every meal i
a bore.
After a long search / found the sacl
that contained them, and turning GU
two quarts, perhaps, washed anC
drained them, and then selecting 1
nice piece of salt pork, placed it owe
them in the pan, and put them in tn,
oven to bake. But, have since