Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-12-09
WIT AND HUMOR.

An Albany type-setter is training a quar;ette of flies to put the periods in his take"
 Any kind of cookery in the world, no matter how eXecrable, is preferable to a family broil.
 If sawdust2 advances" says the Whitehall Times, "ballet girls will have to kill the fatted calf.''
 Whether the British can or cannot whip Arabi, they can make him look dreadful sick-by telegraph.
 "A prudent man." says witty Frenchman, ''is like a pin. His head prevents him from going too far
 A regiment with military band in front should always march by play tunes.
 It was Artemus Ward who said there were two things in this world nobody was ever prepared for-twins.
 On week days one buys his music by the sheet; but on Sundays he gets it by the choir.
 Says a cynical young lady: ''Very handsome mothers are often proud of their ugly babies. I wonder if butter flies are proud of their caterpillars.'
 What is the difference between an h. dian and an agriculturist? The one carries bow and arrow, while the other carries hoe and barrow.
 "John, did Mrs. Green get the medi- cine I ordered?" said a doctor to his hired man. q guess so, for I saw crape on the door this morning."
 "Whistling," says the Chronological JournGl, ''is good for the lungs" So is blowing a tin horn; but it is a great and intolerable nuisance.
 Amateur Gardener wants to know the easiest way to make a hot-house. Leave 8 box of matches where the baby can play with them.
 A Baltimore belle has married policeman. His beat was in front of her house for over a year, and she noticed that he never snored.
 Red Cloud is one of the kind without silver lining. Like all his race, a copper lining would suit him best, as it would fortify him for time against the corrosive action of government whisky.
 New Parlor maid: Here's letter, ma lam, if you please" New mistress: Pray, Mary, are you not accustomed to see letters handed on tray?n ''Yes. ma am. But I didn't know you was" !"
 ''Does it affect one unpleasantly or injuriously." writes high-school girl, ito sleep in the moonlight" Certes, grille; it makes you light-headed. Gib- bous hard one.
 A correspondent wants to know ''how we pronounce 'Ras-el-Tin'?" We don't pronounce it at all; we only write it. Do you suppose we read the papers to the subscribers?
 ''Faith," he wrote home, America is the friend of the Oirish. Bedad, they think so much of the Oirish byes and gurrls that they name their States by them. There's O'Hier, and O'Regon and Mrs. O'Re."
 Mir. Middlerib came down at 4:15 to take the express East, and learned that his train had pulled out just a quarter of an hour prior to his arrival. The traveller turned away sadly, Not lost, ' he said, but gone by four"
 'I don't ask any mans advice," said the man with the big bump of self-es- teem. Il do my own thinking" ''Yes,' l murmured Fogg, q should think you might, and not be greatly oyerworked either.'
 It is announced that science has pro- duced new silkworm, superior to the old brand. If the new worm will pro- duce silk that costs no more than cali co it will fill long-felt want.-Norris- to1Cn Herdld.
 A New York man says he keep: chops and steaks for several days in tht hottest weather by burying them 1T meal Meal is good thing in any weather for steaks and chops. w more particularly refer just now to tht morning meal.
 "Does moonlight soothe." asks tn, New York Herald. Well, no. It doesn' soothe the concert of cats thst fur-nisl the midnight mew-sic under our win dow. It takes old shoes, backing brushes, ink bottles, and everything elst in the category, to soothe them.
 In boring a well at Cloverdale, Cal. the auger, at 8 depth of thirty feet passed through white pine log, anC six inches further struck tree standin! on end, and had to cease operations It was about time to stop If they haC bored few feet deeper they might hay, struck 8 party of campers-out piayins seven-up under the tree, and created ; panic.
 A Philadelphian stole a ton of coa that had been dumped on the sidewalk W hen tha man who owned tEa cO1 came home he swept up the dust ant two or three Jumps left on the sidewalk toted it into the cellar, and remarked live stood the short-weight swindlin! of that coal dealer for some years, an' haven't complained. but by the flea that bothered Cerberus, this is just little too much of 8 shortage. I'm don dealing with him from this time out"
 "What Ails This Heart of Minep' the heading of story that is going tn rounds of the papers. We suppose h saw his girl out riding with another fel low. There is nothing that makes tn heart get up and pound ribs and caror on the other vital parts and jump II and down like a churn-dasher, and the : get tired and keep so still you think has stopped beating forever, as to SC your girl out riding with another fel low, we are told.
 , A Denver newspaper man went fish ing; caught a fish; eagle spied fish; eagl swooped; fish and hook too were swal : lowed; eagle started; hook caught; ma pulled hard; eagle stopped; hook broke eagle flew away. This being the eS , perience of journalist and related b