The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1882-11-12
Mark Twain's Exercise.

lie became somewhat out of health,
and one day recently he vas inter.
rupted by the family physician, who
called to make a friendly visit. Into
his sympathetic ear was poured the
tale OF the humorist's woes, and after
a moments consultation heremarked:
Clemens, what you need is exer-
else y With a look of gentls re
prosoh, which soon changed to anx-
lous innocence, the hero OF many an
experience OF roughing it lin pio-
turesl. and tramps at home and
abroad(on psper] made reply: "Well,
that's all right, that's all right, but
who's going to do it for me? .ou
see," be continued, 1.-The men on the
place are all busy, and the children
amt big enough to accomplish any
thing, and" You must do it your
cell pa was the professional stop put
TO his demur. ''Do it myself? How
in thunder do you expecI-Why, what
can | do There amt a good poker
player on this hill, and the ham
mock broke Gown yesterday, go |
can't use that "No, no." inter.
rupted the doctor, "you must have
active, exertiVe exercise; something
that looks like work, you know |
You can walk down town or swing
dumbbells, or chop wood, Or"
"Hold On, you've struck it," ex-
claimed Marx. 'I'll chop wood |"
"8est thing you can do" said the
doctor, as he took his leave. 1T
brIngs into play go many varied mus
cles, expsnds the chest, deepens the
inspiration and superinduces a more
bountiful oxygenation by the beauti-
tul process OF endosmosis and exos-
mosis, and hence the red corpucles
IL" Here, a cigar" said Twain,
pushing q box before him, "and let
up on Moses" You mustn't smoke,
you know" the doctor said, as he
picked out q weed. Oh! no, I've
stopped smoking" said Twain, as he
carefully placed a sheet OF copy paper
oyer three old stumps and a brier
pipe /; 81 found that it disagreed
with my family long ago." The
doctor departed, and Clemens, with
the glow OF renewed health already
, shining in anticipation On his brow,
took one of the fam banda from the
harvest field and sent him to town
after q new ak. He returned with
ths tool, bright-bladed, sharp-edged.
Finally, thinking be had the hang of
the thing, Clemens had the man
bitch up and drive up the road ABOUT
a mile TO q piece OF woods. The
members OF the family went with him
+, to look for flowers and berries while
he chopped. Arriving at the desired
spot, be carefully took out the ak, un-
wrapped the old coat, and laid the
tool down beside the stump of a dead
pine. The family wandered away,
T picked one or two flowers, and then
hastened bacK, as they heard him
shouting their names. i've done
enough for to-dsy,'' he said, as they
came near. They saw four blisterE
I on his hands and q piece of new
leather shining on one of his boots,
but 10 wood lying around. How
ever, they said nothing, and WenI
home, the hired man carrying the
1 ak.
That evening. sitting on the piazza,
applying arnica to his haLds, he sai6.
"It's hard work, but I'm going tc
keep it up LIS splendid exercise,
q and just see how it has built up other
great menl Why, you know.
Greeley prolonged his life many year;
by cnopping a. Chsppaqua, and
Gladstone is alive yet and making
things hot in Egypt only by. reason o.
the beneficial results OF an hours
ehopping every day, You wait a
month and see mel III be able tC
4 fight Tug Wilson and row Courtney
and out-talk Beecher.
All this was several weeks ago,
Only a few days since Clemens no.
ticed his new ak lying where he had
it left it on his return from mis- Initis
trip, its brightness changed to re
lprcachtul rust. Conscience smote
him. He would resume exercise,
He would attack anew the monsrchl
of the forest. He would acquire
muscle. So he boldly marched fol
the same piece Of woods and began
operations on the old pine. But
few minutes had elapsed before a six
J footer appeared before him, and the
following colloquy ensued= "Now
you skin right ont o. here, young
man! These is my woods, and you'll
learn to let folkses property alone
after I'm through with YET Git nowi"
Searching on ais forehead for an i'm.
sginary bead ofsWest, Twain glanced
obviously at the enraged bu'
collie, and said t: well VIII
Wbst-seems-te be-the matter with
. you?" Matter, I'll show ye! Tryin'
} to steal my EoodI'' "But, my good
man, I don't want your woodl''
; ''Then what are you cutting it ior?''
why, for exercise, that's all the
doctor said" "Oh, that's too
thin ExerciseI You look ike a man
that would do anything for exercise.
Now with renewed energy, you gel
right cut o. hereI Right out.'' and the
farmer made threatening advances.
"But-bu:-look here, my good man,
you don't know who I am. You are
! talking to q" "Yes, | do know,