The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-11-10
A Newspaper Obituary.
Chicago Tribune.

chicago Tribune
"Want an obituary."
A rather short man, whose naturally cheer
full face wore a look of studied grief that was
in strange contrast to the ruddy glow of his
cheeks, stood in the doorway and propounded
this interrogatory in a CHEEKY tone of voice.
elias another old citizen passed away" in
quired the horse reporter "Inever knew one
of them to die" he continued, "but every little
while passing away occurs"
"The deceased, said the man in the door
way, "was certainly an old resident, and may
say that for purity Of"
ooh, know what you are going to say" in
terrupted the horse reporter. "You were about
to remark that, for purity Of purpose, strict
fidelity to the principles that ever guide the
man Of honor and probity in dealing with his
fellow-men, our friend whose loss we mourn
stood pre-eminent among his business assoc
ciates' Isn't that it?"
"That is certainly the tenor Of what had in
mind, but there other things to be said about
tho deceased. He was an eff"
"You bet he was" said the horse reporter.
IL know all about that, too. He was an afec-
Tomato husband, a kind parent and nowhere
will his loss be more keenly felt than withia
that hallOwed spot where human love is ever
strongest, human sorrow ever the most poig3-
ant-the sacred precincts of the domestic cir
cle' Amt that it?"
"Wel certainly did intend to say some
thing like that" replied the short man, "but
that wasn't all. In the hum"
"Thats right" again interrupted the friend
.f I, I,,,,, - .,
where poverty boldly stalks, where crime is
found, and where disease marks with its
gaunt finger countless victims whose lives
would otherwise be bright and joyous, our
friend who is now no more was often to be
found giving freely of the means with which
a kindly Providence had endowed him to al
leviate the sufIerings of those whom msfor-
tune had ever held within its iron grip.
Doesn't that about cover what you were go
ing to tell me?"
Eyes, said the short man, "that's something
like it; but now that DEATH"
"You're right again But now that death
has stilled with his icy breath the heart that
such little time ago was pulsating in all the
Vigor of healthful manhood and laid prone be-
meath his silent but irresistible blow the rug
ged form that had withstood SO bravely the as
saults of time there is nothing left to us but
palld tenement of clay-fraiI emblem of the
proud structure SO instinct with life, teaching
to all OF us with mOurnful dlreCtneSS the sad
lesson that in the midst of life we are in Mil
waukee-no, in death, l mean--and this sad
event should impress upon us all the necessi-
ty Of being prepared to jump town-no, that
amt it--should impress upon us all the neces-
sity of being prepared to meet with clear
conscience the summons that calls us away
from life of turmoil and trouble to one
where white-robed peace stretches forth her
broad wings, whore sorrow and strife are I'M
known, and where our departed brother now
awaits our coming How does that size up
with what you were about to remarlS?'"
%Why, that's it exactly" said the visitor, a
sunny smile overspreading his countenance
@You've got it down pretty fine, haven't your"
Il should surmise that had" replied the
horse reporter. 81 dropped onto this obitu-
airy racket early in the action, and if anybody
can ring one in on me he can have the bun"
Il guess l won't print this obituary." said
the visitor "The deceased was only New
Jersey man, anyhow, and they say he never
more than half provided for his family, and
went to lodge about five nights in the week
Some say he removed to this state from the
psnitentijry, but don't know anything about
that He's dead, anyhow, and dead men can't
do anybody much good, can they?"
mot great DEAL" replied the horse re-
porter.
"Well, soIong," said the short man.
"Bon jour" responded the horse reporter
81 don't know what bon jour is, but fheard
the literary editor say it the other day, and
he's far too fly to make any mistakes"