South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1882-03-10
HIT an d II u M o p !.


Of the Mississippi river Indeed.' adj
ded the hostess; 'and why does she
think 1 am like that noble stream Y'-
'Becau:e your mouth IL always open.
An atfectionate mother noticing her
little daughter wipe her mouth with her
cress sleeve. asked what her handker-
chief was for, and received the answer:
IT'S to shake at ladies in the street.
That's what papa does niti bis
"A wealthy epicure applied to an
Arabian doctor for prescription tina,
would restore his body TO health ana
give happiness to his mind. The phy.
stefan advised him TO exchange shirts
With mau who was perfectly content
cd with his lot. Whereupon the paticn,
set out on journey in pursuit OF such
{ person. After many months spent
without accomplishing his object, he
was told OF certain coobler Of whom
every one had spoken 90 q model Of
contentmsnt and happiness. PURSUING
the direction given, the traveller wa, a,
length rewarded with the sight Of the
cobb'er enjoying a comfortable nap on
board. Without ceremony be was
aroused from HE slumbers, and .he i'm.
portant interrogatory whether he was
contsnted With his lot was answered in
tho affirmative. Them said the seeker
after happiness, L have one snail boon
to ask at your hands. II is TINT Won |
exchange shirts with me, that by this
means | also may become con,onte3 |
and happy
Most gladly would accede to thy |
request, replied tie cobbler, but
Nay refuse NE not interrupted The
man OF wealth; any sum that Won
may st name snail be thine
1 seek not thy wealth. said The cob.
bier, but but
But what p
ihe-the truth isl have no shirt
--Fogg put his foot into IL badly The
o'her afternoon. IL was rather dark in
Cd "e ehLefcd, but be
'houSht he recognized his friend Ping
rey sitting in the middle; 50 he gave
him push, saying: Come. move ov.
or! DO You want all Lie car to your
self ? IL was not Pingery. 1t was a
stranger. Fogg stemmored ont an =.
rology I thought, said he, sou were
II Gentleman--'
Do you 2 interrupted the stranger.
Well, sir, noooS.y viii ever mistake you
GaHos ons.
There iu no heed OF iuv idfaiqqsg gsto-
r'as abont children tbey src 7qnaftlt
the originality any day. .Do you ,li,,@ /,
Mamma sni' - ntt!e one, That UncIel
Ts~.aoer is e good man r
why, my child, he is the best of all
my brothers, aud an excellent man.
And will he 90 to heaven p
think so. my child. Why do YOU
ask P
'Ob, nothing much replied the child.
waking from sort OF royoric; Il wao
thinking what homely angel bod
make, that's ALL
A gentleman somewhat advanced
In life, and who was never remarkable
for his good looks asked his grandchild
what he thought Of him. The bows
parents were present. The youngster
made no reply. We'll. why won't Won
tel me what you think of me p
Cause | don't want to get licked, was
the answer.
A ANAL boy was accustomed to saw
grace at tho table in the absence OF bis
father. After seeing his etill smaller
brother stow away several pieces Of
cake in his pockets on one occasion. he
began: For Whist We are about to 70
ceive, and for what Charlie has already
helped himself 10, TIE Lord make US,
etc
BRoTHEr GARDINER on ISsAxITY.
Let me say TO you dat ] dona be.
i'ese IA insanity De iusaro burglar
who enters NY csbin viii miss he COP
Of his head. De lunatic who draws |
KNIFE or me am gTine 70 get hurt ] /
keep dog to bite the insane thieves
who want to plumber my garden. III
] am drawn on jury, | shall vote TO
send cherry insane prisoner 90 the Pen.
itensbHry fur dc longcs; possible peri.
Cd. When q man steals. | shall cali
him o thief, When q man robs. shall
call him = roboer; when a man kills
j shall call IL murder, an hold dat 10
jury who lots him Off ain entitled 90 go
lasbes npiece ut dc whippin post
Deiyod Fjse Press.
"A new any ofPunish,ng children in