The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-04-15

"Papa, who is that sorrowful, sad-looking
man we just metz" ~
"He is proof-reader on a morning newspa-
per, my son."
swell, should til nix he would be very hap
py, reading all the news and pretty stories.
Why does he lock so miserable?"
There's where you're Off my son. Happy
indeedl He has cause to look miserable, I'll
tell you. tie is an asylum tor predetermined
people who imagine they were sent into the
world to enlighten it through the columns of
the newspapers. He is kindergarten for vealy
young men and cranky old fellows Who think
the newspaper world would cease to exist should
they fail to contribute to its support from their
storehouse of general knowledge, brilliant ideas
and classic lore. He is also hot-house for the
propagation of young eompositors. He is ex-
pected to know the name, nativity, date Of
birth and death of everybody, from a constable
to the President and all the officials and digni-
taries Of the world, especially in Russia, Tur-
key, China and Jspan-which he does not
know by large majority. Some innocent pee
pie are under the impression that writers pre-
pare their manuscript correctly, as the articles
appear in the paper. Not SO, my son. In many
cases, if an article should appear as originally
written, the author would refuse to father it
and never make another effort. But they must
be encouraged, and so their productions are
trimmed up in the office and made presentabe.
There are a great variety of contributors to
the newspapers. First, there is the classical
Ha 10 oil ha for abc
lete and uncommon words and phrases, never
heard or seen except in the most complete una
bridged dictionaries. When he has collected
a number Of such words he goes to work and
writes an article around them-that is sdapts
the subject to the words. He can't write a
half-column article without introducing the
names of lot of old mummies, who were pet
rided thousand years before the advent of the
Saviour, whether they be germane to the sub
ject or not. He provides himself with biograpl-
ical dictionaries, with the Names professions
and achievements of the old fellows, all classi-
fed and arranged, and then turns himself
loose upon them. If he fails to spell the names
correctly in copying them it is all right, for he
knows the proof-reader is bound to look them
up and get them right in the paper or lose his
job. He may write it Johannis Schneider. but
after good deal of worry and guessing it is
found to mean Julius Caesar.
Then there's the minister, who sends in a
mere skeleton of q sermon, page of which
looks like the top of a tea-box covered with
Chinese hieroglyphics, all disconnected, with
Scripture proper names written in dots and
dashes. and the whole affair n complete enig-
ma. However, he knows it will be all right,
and that the printers and proof-reader will I'M
ravel it, no matter if they are fit subjects for
the mad-house before they get through with it,
Then there is the local reporter. Well, he is
good fellow and means well; he has troubles
of his own But if he spells mans name four
different ways in an item three inches long, he
knows the proof-reader will drop everything,
rush around, find directory or something else,
and fix 1t all right before it goes into the paper
Also comes the statistical fiend, with his figures
all presenting the same appearance, he not
having time to cast up his columns for to-
tails, knowing the proof-reader is bound to
fix Them up. There are also country corres-
pondents, the young poet, the scientist and the
linguistical Smart Aleck, who can't write five
lines without scattering in bits of French, Lat
in, Spanish, TO show that he has been there.
1t matters moi whether be gets his foreign
words in right Gr not, the proof-reader must
scratch around and get everything right some
how, or the next day he will hear from the
powers in the sanctum. In fact, to be sue
cess, the proof-reader should be an animate
cyciopedia, with the patience of Job and the
endurance of adamaut-but he is not, and
hence his troubles"
"Well, papa, he has plenty of time to fix
everything and correct all the mistakes of the
writers and printers, has he not?''
"Oh, yes. That is, taking an article which
has required the author half day to write,
the proof-reader has about 20 minues in which
to correct and put it into shape, with the FORE
man bobbing around like hen on hot ashes,
hurrying things up. calling for this or that
matter, and crying out: whats the matter
with that proof" Hurry it up or it'll be left
outl'
well, the proof-reader must be we'll paid
for all that hard work and vexation, isn't he?'
ooh, certainly. In some offices he gets as
much as $12 per week, and in some he gets
more. At o'clock in the morning he goes
home with his head buzzing like beehive,
and feeling like freight train had run over
him; then the next day he goes down to the
office trying to feel resigned in expectation of
the g. B. (Which means the grand BOUNCED,
for failing to properly edit some fellows hog
wash. But he doesn't live long, and his mar
tyrdom on earth secures him soft thing in
the next world. Let's take street car and go
home"