Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-02-18
SECRETS OF THE TRADE.
The Way a Conductor Euchred the
Y. q. Railway for Is Years.

Ihe way Conductor Eucnreu the
y. q. Hallway for 10 Years.
A Chicago reporter met an old rail-
road conductor the other day, and was
surprised TO hear that he has been dis
charged.
Yes" he said, "the old man side
tracked me-"
"N nat for %
"Well, l suppose he thought 1 had
too much money"
"Yours or his 2" And he laughed.
You remember I began working for
the Y. Q. Road in 1865 at the close of
the war. From $50 month | was
gradually raised to 500. The other day
the old man Ghe superintendent
found ont that / owned and was paying
taxes on $4,000 or $751; worth of
property. So he kicked. He offered to
keep me if / would 'restitute, but said
l guessed | had railroaded about long
enough"
chow did you save all that money in
fifteen years from salary of $500 in
creased gradually to 81, 200 a year ?"
And he laughed again.
Gas I'm out of the business now and
kind o like railroad companies, | don't
mind explaining the conundrum. I'll
hold up my hand, though, and swear /
always accounted for every passenger /
ever carried. But watered 'em-wa-
tered the company like its directors wa
ter the stock. And did it in this way:
You see, every year the president and
general officers issue an unlimited num-
Der of annual passes. Some of these are
in exchange with other railroads, but
most of them are to high-cock-lorums,
Congressman and members of the Legis-
lature. l always made it my business
when one of these fellows took my train
to 'plpe him off that is, get in con-
versation with him, find out where he
he lived, and what his business was.
You know passengers always like civil
treatment from q conductor; it seems
odd like. With this acquaintance l
used him."
Used him ?"
eyes, used him. Knowing about how
often his business required him to travel,
[ travelled for HIM. Do you catch on !?
When he didn't travel just deducted
that much from my cash receipts and
credited the annual hummer with one
trip. My division cash fare was little
less than seven dollars, and it was a
poor run for me if didn't turn in two
or three old buffers"
"Ah, l see. You robbed Peter to
pay Paul 2"
mo, | robbed the annual pass holder
to pay myself. But my best hold was
in catching the pass-hoder who wanted
to rob the company. There's where L
made the most of my money. You see,
the average member of the Legislature
not only thinks the company should
carry him free, but all his friends. So
he loans his pass to Tom, Dick and
Harry, his neighbors. l made it my
business to identify every legislative
pass holder. Every two or three weeks
a man would get on my train and show
up that pass. l would give him his
check, go on through the train, do my
work, aud then come back and sit down
by him. would say, Let me look at
your pass again. He would hand it
out. l would then turn to my memo
randum book and read: 'Archimedes
Skrubendike, tall, dark hair, thirty years
old annual, O197.' Then / would turn
to the rooster and say : why, You re
not Archimedes Skrubendike you've
no right to ride on this pass. Read the
conditions on the back-Not transfera.
BILE And then the fellow would go all
to pieces. He would beg and plead,
and offer to pay fare, but | was too fly.
When I had him bad enough scared, |
would say: I'm sorry, and l hope this
thing will never occur again. Now,
I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll not take
up this pass, as am instructed to do,
for Skrubendike is good friend of the
railroads, and wouldn't have him get
into trouble for anything in the world.
You give me SO and will let You keep
the pass to give back to him, only yon
must promise never to tell him you got
caught. And the fellow would snatch
out $40 quicker'n wink. It's an hon
est fact, in one year l worked old Skru-
handike for more'n S300 -