Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1882-01-20
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A KENO YOUNG MAN.-He was nice
"a very new young man, and his en-
+ foyer took kindly to him on the first day
Him the factory. asking him to help in
s'checking off, and ''calling back'' the
sizes of certain goods. All went well I'M
til the youth, in finishing up a string of
numbers, called out: "Fifty-fve, eleven,
forJy-fo'-keno!'' A great solemn hush
fell over the rest of the clerks as the old
man called the blushing lad up to the deck
and desired an explanation; and the mis-
guided youth put his foot in deeper by
stammering out that it was only the 'force
of habit' that made him say it. The old
gentleman eyed him calmly for moment,
and then, laying down seventy-fve cents
for his days wages, said: "Boy rake the
pot and 60 and renounce your SINS"
Here we have Business Manager. He
is Blowing About the Circulation of the
4 Paper. He is Saying the Paper has En-
tered upon an Era of Unprecentsd Pros
perity. La Minute He will Go up Stains
and Glide the Editor for Leaving the Gas
Burning while he Went out for Drink Of
Water, and He will dock a Reporter fur
Dollars because Subscriber has Licked
him, and be can not Work. Little Chill
Went to Heaven, we would Give up our
Pew in Church.-DenUer Tribune Primer
During the last fair held in Austin, i.
will be remembered a horse fell in the race,
after the accident Gilhooly, talking to
stranger from Dallas, happened to speak
of the accident. The other party turned
his head aside, and brushed away tear.
s'It was very sad affair." said Gilhooly
thinking the unfortunate jockey was. a
friend Of the emotional stranger. Sad"
sobbed the stranger, ''well, l should smile.
I had ten dollars bet on the horse"
Notice.-In consequence of the crowded
state of the publishing market and of the
bookstalls, and taking hint from the
s'Ilustrated'' and the ''Graphic," etc
which have now brought Christmas to the
beginning of November. we beg TO an
! nounce that Sunny Days." which is the
title'of our extra special number for 1888.
will be published early in December, 1881.
Immediate application is absolute neces-
sary in order to secure copies, Punch.
The number of s'holiday' books this
year is unprecedented; and the variousDess
of thelr character is surprising. A hooh
called "Smith on Mathematics, published
years ago, turns up this season as ''holi-
day. book. The report, however, that All
illustrated holiday edition of the Presi-
dent'S message is to be printed is polit
cal roorback-although it is more inter
esting reading than some of the so-called
holiday books.
An editor at Dover, N. H., feels called
upon to slowingly describe, as an impor-
tant local improvement, new bread Wa
gon, painted in the highest style of deco
rative art, bearing upon its side IN golden
letters the talismanic word Biddle. and
Es,arawn by a. c9al-black steed. clad in a
neat>fNtfng and ornamental harness, to
which were added broad white reins, skill
fully handled by a good-looking driver"
ssThe President has developed the high
est qualities of constitutional statesman
ship,n were the words that little Miltjades
Marrowfat read from the paper he was
holding, and then added, "What does that
= mean, pap?" ut means my boy" ex-
planned Mr.. Marrowfat, ''that the editor
is probably a postmaster and feels agreea-
bly, disappointed that he hasn't been turn
ed out. n-Brooklyn Eagle.
The editor of Texas exchange says he
he does not like turkey; that if he can't
Shave 'possum to celebrate with, he don't
want any at all; but his neighbors still con-
tinae to lock up their turkeys after dark.
Some people don t believe everything they
read in newspaper. The editor can It play
'possum" on them that way.
Clubite A. was telling story in the
c1ub, Clubite B. when it was finished,
said: "Well. that reminds me Of another
anecdote.'' and he related it. A. there
mon remarked: 81 don t see how what you
have told us was recalled by my story
..It was.'' replied B. ''because mine Was
on the same page Of Joe Miller as
yours"
The Boston ssPost'' considers it possible
fer animals to blush. A turkey has been
seen to turn mighty red around lis eills
when pointed out to the cook. and maybe
the POST" is right.
An old man who had been badly hur in
3 railroad collision, being advised to sue
ti.p company for damages said. "I've had
enough of them; but I'll just sue 'em for
repairs
A man with small salary and large
family says if pride goes before a fall, be
w.,illd ike to see Pride start on a little
ahead OF the price of coal and provisions
Tie Boston "Home Journal speaks of
q ..picked squad of twelve men from the
Crescent Bicicle Club" They were doubt
less picked out soft layer of mud.
A Western editor, In response to a sub
scriher who grumb les that his morning
naner was intolerably damp, says THAT is
because there is so much due on It,"
A boot and shoe shop hangs out the
sian. ..Cast iron lasts" We all know it
does, but we don It want any boots made of
it.