Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-07-26
SPICE AND ALLSPICE.

| EhdAPS u6BTOGS engage III the Wn7tS-
washing business in obedience to the
golden rule.
THEY sat by the tower of Pisa
| And he did what he could to pliesa
| He looked in her eyes,
He heaved many seyes,
Then stuck out his arms for to squiesa.
A NORTH CAROLINA negro felt sick Just
after having his photograph taken, and
for three months the man with the camera
couldn't coax another black face into his
gallery.
In Attala County, Miss, on the 18th
instant, Mary Hudson gave birth to
triplets--a boy and two girls. Her first
remark was: "Bress de Lordt What's
gwine to do wild 'em -C0feev&LLe
Times.
A MARKED difference between the
Egypt OF Joseph's day and the Egypt of
Arab Bey is that, whereas in the old
time there was no corn in the land it is
now absolutely full of kernels.-N. Y.
] Graphic.
DIR. BELL, of New York, is sure that
germs of disease remain III ice after it is
frozen. - Exchange. If they are in ice
at all, 1t must be after it is frozen. We
don't have any unfrozen ice In this coun-
| fy.-NOTT1SG01O1l -H6TUtJ.
MONSIEUR GoMGoM, who had been
married only few Gays, happened, In
company with his wife, to pass near
beehive. The bees stung his wife, and
Gomgom, instead of plying her, said,
Chow intelligent are those bees, my
dear, to know that we are on our honey
moon ~
SHE was a woman with property while
her sweetheart was a man with big
head. "Do YOU love me?'' said he.
"Indeed, indeed / do" she modestly
murmured. "Well," he replied, " one
deed will be sufficient if you put it all
in my name. "--New York Commercial
Advertiser.
APRoPos of the STORY of school COM
mittee man who told class in gram
mar, "You should never use PROPOSE
ton to end a sentence with" This
reminds us of the other school committee
man who said that the auxiliary chad"
hadn't ought to be used before "ought.
| -Lo1OeW Courier.
"WHAT is the matter, old fellow? you
seem worried" 'sWeIl, I AMIN be-
ing dunned up hill and down dale by my
internal creditors" SsOh, you owe
large sum of money a's {" No, but a
great many small SUMS, and debts are
like children-the smaller they are the
more bother they are. "-NeeU York Tr5-
| bu71e.
"THE trouble with these days." says
Uncle Millet, els that people won't be-
! gin modest Now there's my friend
| John - had a fine start in life, but he
petered out. It reminds me of what
Squire NJ, Of Minot, used to say
about his daugbters-that they few
high, but lit amazin' low!'" -LeWistOn
! Journal
"THAT,' said Bigglin to his wife,
when she told him that new silk dress
was necessary for her health and happi-
ness, is toe. diaphanous." "Now,
Bigglin, she answered tartly, s. want
! you to understand that [ am not the
woman to be put down by musical
terms. You may call it fortisstimo or
a trombolo; but am going to have that
dress"
IMPORTANT requisite: eyes," said
the gentleman who wanted to join the
crack volunteer regiment, 81 went ali
through the war, and have the docu-
ments to show irst-class record. I'm.
6 feet and L inch high, sound as a nut,
know the manual Of arms, and am posted
on military tactics. eyes," said the
commandant,. Htthose qualifications are
no objection, but what waltz step do you
dance ?"
AT Monaco. The little Reene went
to try her luck at roulette. But on the
point of losing her louis she hesitated,
and addressed an elegant dame at her
side: Pardon, madame, but / have
an inspiration. Tell me your age, will
play that figure. % Twenty six years,
mademoiselle. Unhappily, the number
that wop was thirty 81 ought not
to have trusted her." cried in her spite
the little one, ''the woman trick al
ways"
THEY were looking at the painting.
Sc It's perfectly lovely" said she; "bus
what makes the animals look 80 queer?'
! They don't lock natural one bit. !" 60 Oh, -
said she; they look right a little way
off. They are fore-shortened, you
know" &c Yes," she replied, they do
look short; but there aren't four of thems
George; at least, can see but three. >"
George says Clara doesn't know much
about art; s. but she is such sweet girl,
and 1t viii De such pleasure to teach
hen, you know.
A wEIL-KNowN Journalist recently
embodied Il his editorial ON one of the
issues of the day quotation, introducing
1t IN this manner: "As o certain good
writer once said, etc. When his wife
read the article she asked, "Who is this
good writer you refer top" The editor
hesitated moment, then modestly re-
piled. Myself. ~. Y. Commercial
| Advertiser.
A HICKMAN in Cleveland, Ohio, who
had colored competitor, has been fined
$40 and costs by police justice for
soliciting passengers at the Union Depot
by crying out: "Come this way and
you can ride with white man. Lam
guage," said Judge Kennedy, that
| tonds 70 daorada or Insult q man who