Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-02-02
spOOKENDYKE's SPECULATION.
Hi. Experience in Farm Life While Endeavoring
to Cultivate the Acquaintance Of the Sue
cessful Cabbage.
LAYING OFT THE FARM.


This, said Mr.. Spoopendyke, as he
gazed around on his new acquisition of
six acres, "this, my dear, is what / al
ways wanted. A farm and farmers
life are the highways to happiness; Mrs.
Spoopendyke, don't you think SOP
Its perfectly lovely" rejoined Mrs.
Spoopendyke. Il was born on farm,
and was always healthy, though | had
to go d good ways for water"
I'm fix that, my DEAR" returned Mr..
Spoopendyke; ''I'll bring in the water.
Now where are my Agricultural Re-
ports? must plant right off if we're
going to have any crops, and when
they're ripe we,will take 'em to market"
''Do the crops all get ripe at the same
time?'' asked Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Of course they do replied her hus-
band. They're all planted at the same
time, amt they? You don't suppose
they run races, do you? You haven't
got notion that the first crop in wins
the pot, have you? Now, we want to
put in some cabbages, and the Agricul-
tural Report says they must be planted
where turnips and radishes grew the
year before. / wonder what they put
Ill tnaI corner ldSu year
"Why not put cabbages where tur-
nips and radishes grew before?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Because it makes the cabbage taste
of EN-, replied Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Well, then, said Mrs. Spoopendyke
wen plant them where watermelons
grew, or asparagus. Would they taste
of watermelons and asparagus if we
did?''
''Of course they would. And if we
planted them where the hens had scatch-
ed they'd taste of the poultry, or if we
planted them alongside of a church
they wouldn't boil on Sunday. I'll put
them in that corner over there, and then
we II have raspberries in the other cor
ner.
II don't like raspberries, objected
Mrs. Spoopendyke. I'D rather have
hickory nuts. Can you plant hickory
nuts where anything else has grown?"
NO" replied Mr. Spoopendyke sol
EMMY, you can't. They wouldn't
have our meadow in that corner, and
fill in between the meadow and the cab
bages with"
IlOll HUNS! lHtctIupttu MIS-
Spoopendyke. ''and we can train them
against the fence"
"Who wants any dod gasted holly
hocks?' blurted Mr. Spoopendyke.
maybe you'd like to plant some old
glass bottles and raise dollhouse! p
raps your idea is to put down some old
rags and a bent wire and raise spring
bonnets! tell you, We'll put onions in
there, and that fills up that end of the
farm"
Then you ought to have your pasture
at this end, recommended Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
"No, I'm going to put my orchard
here, and or that far side between the
orchard and the cabbages I'll plant
some-some what can we put in
there?"
I'D have a rose-bush, q -
''Or, or, what? Maybe you want to
plant some black-hair and raise wigs!
Howe you like TO put in that old barrel
and raise wash-tubs?N
81 was thinking of lake mumbled
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "A lake looks SO
pretty on a farm"
OF course it doesn' roared Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. ''All you've got to do is plant
a bucket of water and watch it grow.
Maybe you're thinking Of training a
measly lake up against the fence! Now
I'm going to put some buckwheat in
there, and that makes cabbages, two
acres; meadows, one acre; onions, two
acres; buckwheat, half an acre; orchard
half an acre; which just fills the farm
comfortably"
Where are you going TO have your
pasture?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Probably out doors, someW here
responded her husband. There's
more room out doors. Don't you know
that crops don't grow in the winter,
and then that COW can have the whole
farm for pasture?'
That's So said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
81 hadn't thought of that. Now we
want some chickens.
lone chicken will be enough, said
Mr.. Spoopendyke. I'm not going to
have a lot of measley hens scratching up
my meadow, and one will give all the
eggs we want. I'm going to lay my
money out in farming implements not
hens. You see we've got to have a
steam reaper and moving machine.
''And steam hoe suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "And we ought to have
some geese.
Yes, we must have geese. I'll look
around for white ones. don't like the
gray geese. Now, | see by the reports
that a COW ought to be dry at least six
weeks before her time for calving. You
be careful not to give that COW any
water; you hear? Where can we put
the pig?'
81 don't know,' replied Mrs. Spoop-
cndvke, biting her thumb. Can't we
put him in the orchard?''
''Yes, and along in the spring we'd
find the orchard in him. That an idea
One year fruit and the next year pig,
turn and turn about
''But You can tie him up so he can't
bite trees. You'll want to kill him in
the spring anyhow
That's so. We can tie him in the
orchard and keep the COW in the wood
she'd That reminds me, must have a
grindstone. What kind of trees shall
we put in the orchard?'
Willow trees give the most shade, !"
ventured Mrs. Spoopendyke.
That's it, howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, you're an agriculturisti All you
want now is a dry season and a mort
gage to be model larm, Ii had your
intelligence and q yellow cover, I'd hire
out as an almanac, Don't you know
that willows don't give fruit? I'm going
to put in quince-trees and olives. There
YOU get your fruit and shade together.
Then, around in the corners of the fence
TT plant strawberry vines
.Thatn be nice chirruped Mrs.
Spoopendyke. And when we kill the
pig, I'll make some little oil-silk bags to
put the sausages in.
What bags?' demanded Mr.. Spoop-
endyke.
..'Those oil-silk bags that always
/ come around sausages''
20! yes. those. They'll do any time.
Say, think I'll get some sheep, and
then during he long winter evenings
we can shear them at our pleasure
Won they bunt us?' asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
I'm get some quiet ones without
horns,n replied Mr.. Spoopendyke, ''or
else some that have the horns all curled
around so they can't stick in us. | must
( find out how to make honey, and the
/ first thing we want is Windmill
Then we can always tell which way
the wind blows exclaimed Mrs Spoop-
/ endyke. Get one with man holding
a st1y-claSS Ia his eve. I saw