The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-10-15
The epOopendykes.

ms, salu Mr.. SpOOpendyke, as he
gazed around on his new acquisition Of
six acres, "this, my dear, is what | have
always wanted. A farm and a farmers
life are the highways to happiness. Mrs.
Spoopendyke, don't you think so?'
Its perfectly Uyely,' rejoined Mrs.
Spoopendyke. II was born on farm,
and was always healthy though | had
to 90 good ways for water"
'Ill fix that, my dear, " returned Mr..
Spoopendyke, 'l'll bring the water.
Now where are my agricultural reports?
/ must plant right of if we are going to
have crops, and when they're ripe We'll
take them to market
IL see the reports say you must give
your hen chopped turnip once in
while" said Mrs, Spoopendyke putting
her thumb on the paragraph.
Either that or cabbages," returned
her husband Il don't know whether
ven have cabbages enough" he con-
tinued musingly,
lyon must have less buckwheat"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. Il would
think, though, that two acres would be
enough for one hen, and if it isn't You
can buy load now and then from the
neighbors.N
"ril think that over replied Mr.
Spoopendyke, heres one thing don't
understand 1t says we should test
few seeds before planting, to make sure
to terminate, but it don't say how to do
it."
MAY be ii means to boil Them sug-
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke, "or perhaps
you"
''Or, perhaps You think it means TO
crack 'em with an axe 10 see il hey are
hard, | s'pose you've got an idea you
stick straws into EN- to see if they're all
right. think we ought to have some
wceyil for the pig"
IL don't know where you're going to
plantit," said Mrs, Spoopendyke, unless
il will grow with buckwheat or onions
You can't put it in with the cabbage
because the pig and hen would fight. ~
"Do YOU know what weeyil isPN de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, glazing at
his wife. Got notion it's some kind
of weed for the pig TO smoke, haven't
you? Imagine its gilt edged note paper
for him to write on, don't you? Well. it
isn't swallow tail coat or plug hat for
him to 90 to church in, neither! You
don't plant weeyil, Mrs. Spoopendyke.
any more than you do soap, or clothes
pins, or stair rods, You buy il in bar
rels, aud I'll order some.
Il think we ought to have some lace
curtains for the front windows" said
Mrs Spoopendyke, anxious to change
conversation.
YES, and we want folding bed
stead for the COW. and we've got TO
have a new arm chair for the pig, and
I'm afraid those cabbage won't do with
out wet nurse" squealed Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. Il suppose I've got to hire
man TO see that the meadow don't 90
fishing on Sunday and upset your re-
ligious notions. Oh! you're farmers
wife, YOU are, II had time to write an
index to you and get some dod gasted
binder to fix you up with a fly leaf,
you'd make whole agricultural re-
portr'
And Mr. Spoopendyke shot into the
house and to bed while his wife, having
put all the oil lamps into buckets of wa
ter so they couldn't explode during the
night, fell asleep dreaming that the
cabbage patch had eloped with the on
ions, while the COW and pig died of
weevil, and the windmill had abandon
ed agricultural pursuits and started of
through Ohio preaching the gospel
Bro0blWe EagiC.