The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1882-09-29
Some Of the Beliefs that Pertain to
Table Accidents.
"If care were not the waiter
Behind a fellows chair,
When easy going sinners
Sif dntur, 70 Rinh panrad dinr,nx.

Care may not be an agreeable waiter
behind ones chair or elsewhere, but he
will not spill hot soup down your back
nor leave the print of his thumb on your
glass, nor put his elbows in your eyes or
in any way disturb the natural repose of
your outward being.
There is only one thing can make a
person wretched in both mind and body
at once. That is pair of tight boots!
Then let the waiter be care, if he wants
to, but don't drag in any deaths heads
at our feast. Let us eat, drink and be
merry. for at feast where friends are
assembled and the viands are good
every sense is gratifed, and it is wise
to forget the past and take no thought
for the morrow during the brief hours
it will last. Given that rare and sem
suous atmosphere filed with the
heavenly breath of exotic flowers, the
odor of dainty cooking, bright with the
sparkle of light reflected from FURNISHED
glass and cleaning china, the blended
sweetness of patchouli and jockey club
and white rose, the admiring chances of
well dressed men, the flashing Jewels
and smiles of beautiful women, the
sympathetic chances of social happiness,
and the pride of strength and enjoy
ment. and he would be worse than a
Icynic who could find no pleasure in such
"a picture! But there will be a deaths
head at the feast. 1t is inevitable.
Some one will recall the fact that it is
the anniversary of the death of some
friend or acquaintance; or a care
less guest will spill the salt
and make an allusion to its be-
ling unlucky; or another will discover
that there are thirteen at table and
wonder which one will be dead before
the year is out. Bad luck to such mala-
propos people. Is it likely that thirteen
would sit down together anywhere with
out there being possibility that one of
the company might die in the course of a
year? Table superstitions are as strong
1n the best society as among the ignor-
ant and unrefned If one chances to
catch glimpse of his face in a mirror
when he is eating he must at once leave
the table or he will be unlucky all the
year. If two forks are taken up instead
of knife and fork it denotes we'd
ding; two spoons. you will be lucky in
love. A guest at dinner was once SO
much disturbed at some discovery he
made in slice of bread that he ex-
cused himself, went home and took to his
bed. An examination of the bread
which he had regarded with SO much
alarm developed the fact that it had
the ominous words ..Rest in peace
plainly imprinted ON the crust. 1t was
learned that the baker had brother
who was tombstone cutter, and he had
paved his oven with some work that
had not been called for, and so got the
impression of part 81 an epitaph on his
aoaves. No doubt the guest recovered
when he learned the facts.
There is guarded decorum at fash
ionable dinner which usually prevents
guests from making themselves either
conspicuous or disagreeable If they have
q faculty for being either; but at home
dinner, where there are only few in
vited guests present, many ebsurdities
occur. An elderly maiden lady who
was dining out was asked by her host
what part of the fowl she preferred.
1.-The bosom. if you please" she replied
with much dignity.
A little girl hearing all the girls say
they would be helped to some small
piece of some delicacy, carried out the
honest conviction of her nature by ask
ing for "a very large piece, If you
please Detroit Post and Tribune.