Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1882-09-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

To GIVE pain is the tyranny, to make
happy the true empire of beauty.
IF you want enemies, excel others il
you want friends, let others exec you
Our happiness IN this world depends
on the affections we are enabled to in
spire.
A GOOD motto for an expressman-
"Haul things to all men. Boston
Transcript.
No MAN ever offended his own con-
science, but first or last it was revenge1
upon him for it,
BETTER to be despised for too anxious
apprehensions, than ruined by too oon-
fident security.
THERE is no use of money equal to-
that of Deneficeuce here the enjoyment
grows or reflection.
An editor. only married short while
ago, the following week printed fierce
article against "bossism."
We do not always like people the
better for paying us all the court which
WO OhISCihSS our uu0.
CoNosT is to nature what paint is to
beauty; 1t is not only needless, but it
impairs what it would improve.
THE houses hope builds are castles
in the air. The houses OF tho wretched
who are altogether without hope,
are too dismal to live in.
HOPE is pleasant acquaintance, but
an unsafe friend. Hell do on pinch
for travelin' companion, but he is not
the man for your banker.
The poet says, "a well bred dog
generally bows to strangers ;" but tho
revised version Of the practical man has
it. "a well bred dog generally bow
vows to strangers"
HEAT the bread knife very hot when
cutting new bread This will prevent
crumbliDg, and probably suggest some
thing to say to the next person who
p;cts up the knife. .-.SOmerUitle Journal.
"AIN'T that dog got Heas2'' uueasily
queried woman at railway station,
near whose feet dog was reaching after
his spine. "I think not" said a small
man. SIT looks more like the f1sas had
got the dog"
THERE are now about twenty-four
hundred different diseases, aud every
year the strain on a single patent medi-
cine becomes harder and harder, yet the
medicine stands up manfully and prom
ises to cure them all.
The United States Army has become
sadly depleted, thirty OF its members
having deserted Sin all directions" IF
thirty more should get away, the army
will have to adjourn for want of a
quorum. -PhiladeIphid Bulletin.
FIRST Russian Officer-Do you think
the coronation will pass off peacefully?
SECOND 6itto-Think I am sure it
viii. The Car never was more popular
than he is at this moment. Why, the
people ate ready to ex4lt him to the
ski,s. First Oflicer-I know, but they
uay do it with dynamite.
Society people who go away for the
summer can count on several men
tions in the papers first, that they
contemplate going; second, that they
have gone; third, where they are and
how they are enjoying themselves
fourth, that they have returned, aud,
perhaps, fifth, how they feel about it,
Cincinnati Saturday Night
PLANTATION philosophy-Et de Lord
shortens do lives oh dem what he loves,
it is greatpity dat he amt fell in love
wild de man what always has pocket
full oh political figures. Et yer want
ter make oman mad an appear pleased,
tell her ob fault; but et yer wanster
make her pleased an appear mad, tell
her dat she's good lookin'. .-ArhansdW
| 7iduHcr.
"I'vE got message for you from Miss
r" said waiter of a Newport hotel
to fashionable young Boston maa who
had been secretly congratnlating him.
self on his fincied conquest of the heart
of the young lady in question. "What
is it 2" he asked with great eagerness,
slipping a fifty cent piece into the
walters hand. "She says she'll give
you S5 to stop picking your teeth with
fork at the table"
AN OLD iinancier, who is at the head
of financial concern in which he has
invested most of his fortune AMI the
shares in which are certain to fall when
he passes away and the management Is
confided to less skiliful hands. When
ever my time comes," he says, with
quiet chuckle, Il have arranged TO
have my heirs sell the whole stocS of
company fer delivery after my death.
Then when they cover their shorts
they'll make all they lose on the stock
as an investment. Beats blind pool
all to smash y
WIEN Marshal Narvez lay dying, his
confessor demanded tf him that he
should begin his preparation for death
, by fJrgiving his enemies. 81 have
, none," said the surly sick mau. No
enemies thought the priest. Why, il
ever there was a soldier whose cruelty
exasperated the people Won are certainly