The news., 1882-11-07
PLAYING COMET.
The Roman Candle Racket the BAD Boy
Worked ON his Pa.

DuI, IoOK-a-nere, says the gro
Gerry man, as he gave the boy little
dried up lemon, about as big as a
prune, and told him he was terror,
what is the matter with your eye
winkers and your hair? They seem
to be burned off"
20, thunder, didn't pa tell you
about the comet exploding and burn
ing us all =? That was the worst thing
since the food when Noah run the
excursion boat from Kalamazoo to
Mount Ararat. You see we had
been reading about the comet, which
is visible about four o'clock in the
morning, and | heard pa tell the
hired girl to wake him and ma up
when she got up to set the pan cakes
and go to early mass, so they could
see, the critter. The hired girl is a
cathlick, and she don't make no fuss
about it, but she has got more good,
square relidgin than one dozen like
pa. It makes good deal of differ
ence how relidgin affects different
people, don't it. Now pas religdin
makes him wild, and he wants to
kick my pants, and pull my hair,
but the hired girls religion makes
her want to hug me, if | am abused,
and she puts anarchy on my bruises
and gives me pie. Pa would't get
up at four o'clock in the morning
to go to early mass, unless he could
take a fish pole along, and some
angle worms. The hired girl prays
when no one sees her but God, but
pa wants to get church full of sis
term, and pray loud, as though he
was an auctioneer selling tin razors.
Well, when heard pa tell the
hired girl to wake him and ma up, l
told her to wake me up about half
an hour before she walked pa up, and
then | got my chum to stay with me,
and we made comet to play on pa.
You see my room is right over pas
room, and I got two lengths of stove
pipe and covered them all over with
phosphorus, 50 they looked Just as
bright as comet. Then we got two
Roman candles and big sky rocket,
and we were going to touch off the
Roman candles and the sky rocket
just as pa and ma got to looking at
the comet. | didn't know that q
sky rocket would kick back, did you?
Well, you'd a died to see that comet.
We tied a piece of white rubber hose
to the stove pipe for a tail and went
to bed, and when the girl walked us
up we laid for pa and ma.
Pretty soon we heard pas window
open and | looked out, and pa and
ma had their heads and half their
bodies out the window. They had
their night shirts on and looked just
like the pictures of the Millerites
waiting for the world to come to an
end. Pa looked up and seed the
stove pipe, and he said: Hannah,
for Gods sake, look up there. That
is the damest comet I've ever seen.
1t is as bright as day. See the tail
of it. Now that is worth getting up
to see.
Just then my chum lit the two
Roman candles and ] touched off
the rocket, and that's where my eve
winkers went. The rocket busted on
pa, but ma got her head inside be-
fore the comet struck, and wasn't
hurt, but one length of the stove
pipe struck pa endways on the neck
and almost cut a biscuit out of him,
and the fire and sparks just poured
down in his hair and burned his
night shirt. Pa was scarf. He
thought the world was coming to an
end, and the window came down on
his back, and he began to sing,
'Earth's but a desert drear, Heaven
is my home.
4 see he was caught in the window
and | went down stairs to put out
the fire on his night shirt, and put
up the window to let him in, and he
said : My boy, your ma and are
going to Heaven, but fear you are
going to the bad place. and | told
him | would take my chances, and
he better put on his pants if he was
going anywhere that there would be
liable to be ladies present, and when
he got his head in ma told him the
world was not coming to an end, but
| somebody had been setting off fire
works, and she said she guessed il
was their dear little boy, and when
| saw pa feeling under the bed fol
a bedslat | got up stairs pretty pre-
vious, now don't you forget it, and
ma put cold cream on where the
sparks burnt pas shirt, and pa SAID
another day wouldn't pass over his
head before he had me in the reform
school.
"Well, i'll goto the reform school
somebody's got to pay attention, YOU
can bet your liver. A boy cam
have any fun these days without
everybody thinks he is a heathen
What hurt did it do to play comet
It's mean father that won't stand
g little ScOrchin i'm the Interests n
science"
The boy went out, scratching the
place where his eye-winkers were
and then the groceryman knew what
it was that caused the fire engine
to be around at four o'clock in The
morning, looking for fire.
Scene in a Colorado newspaper
office Managing editor to the tel