The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-10-29
ITO be C'ontinued.l

Bill Shute was IA member of the 26th.
While the old boys crowded around the
old flag at 4 recent reunion, Bill, with
an irrepressible humor, called ont,
Boys, ! am no speaker, but there's Il
blamed sight more of you here than
ever saw in a tightn' This brought
down the house
Now, boys, recite your verses; then
you can coast" I'D rather be a door
keeper in the house Of the Lord than
dwell in the tents Of the wicked y re-
peated the older lad. Sod L. eiacu-
lated the junior youth; and away he
flew after his sled before the father had
time to demonstrate.
"Well, remarked young NJ, d.. just
from college. II suppose the next thing
will be to hunt a good location, and
then wait for something to do, like Pa
thence on monument. Eyes, said
a bystander; land it won't be long az
ter You do begin before the monuments
will be on the patients,
A woman in France slept seventy
three days in one inning, and when she
awoke and learned that her husband
had been taking his meals at a rcstaur-
ant during all this time, instead of get
ting out Of bed at daylight and going to
market, she was so mad that she de-
clared she wouldn't 60 TO sleep again
as long rs she lived.
"A little fellow, from four to five
years old, having perforated the knee Of
his trousers, was intensely delighted
with q patch his grandmamma had ap-
piled. He would sit and gaze upon it
in a state of remarkable admiration;
and in one of these moods suddenly ex-
claimed: Grandma must put one on
tother knee, and two behind, like Eddy
Smiths
The Egyptian flea is larger than the
American graSshopper, and when one
gets at work on dog, just about the
small of the back, the canine will reach
and haul himself round in a circle till
he gets that flea, if he has to wear the
hide all of his hind legs and break his
spine to do it.
When Haverly was in London it was
arranged that when he was going too
far in his patriotic anecdotes he should
be nudged under the table, The result
was that he said sin our country Jay
Gould has u conservatory three-quarters
of mile long, three hundred feet high,
and (what are you kicking me for?) two
feet wide"
AT "a meeting of clergymen not long
since reverend gentleman by the name
of Loss, of dimensions somewhat ex-
tended, laterally and altitudinally, pre-
sented himself Says one of the breth-
rem to him, when you left your poo
pie you were a great Loss Yes
said another, "when he dies he will be
no Loss" May" said q third, che
will be II dead Loss"
ma" said youth, as he came skip
ping into the house, ''it's wicked TO
take anything, amt it?" Eyes, my son,
it is wicked to take any thing, but don't
be so boisterous" 'Whoop! Well, I've
been swimming, and don't ask mo to
take lickin', cause it's wicked. Pm
after piece of pie" And before his
parent could get hold of slipper he
had slipped out through the pantry with
it, and was sicking the dog on to a scis-
sors-grinder down the street.
1t never rains but it pours A New
port visitor, after long struggle, man
aged to get a foothold in society, and
all Of a sudden found that she had been
invited to nine dinner parties, all on the
same evening. Utterly unable to de-
eide which to accept, she sat down and
had good cry over it, and that made
her eyes and nose so red that she was
ashamed to go to any.
II often cross the street to avoid meet
ing man." says Mr.. Beecher, mot be.
cause have any thing against him,
but simply because | do not feel like
speaking to him. | suppose all men
are this way" Yes, nearly all men are
that way, Mr.. Beecher, and we are glad
you have mentioned the subject, for il
gives us a chance to agree with great
man. We sometimes cross the street
and climb fence to avoid meeting a
man, not because we have any thing
against him, but because he has some
thing against US; bill, Mr. Beecher.--
EXCHANGE.