The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1882-07-21
woRsnIrruL Amen ov xYz
a Chapter on seere; societies.

did" replied the Fat Passenger proudly,
who Is one Of the way.ups, and wears
three kinds of pins, and watch seal
that nobody can read, with Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and
all the rest Of the ten commandments
initialed on II. "Ho did, said tho
Fat Passenger, as he bent thirty
three-degrees- in-the shade ook upon
the man on the wood box, who is only
n Mystic Nail-Eater OF Jericho, and
only dates the origin OF his order back
10 the days of Beelzebub. Solomon"
the Jester remarked wusingly, twas a
very wise man, an extremely numer-
GUS father, and an extravagastly difru-
sivo husband. He had more wives, Of
full rank and brevct, than there are
women in Olcan. And I have no doubt
he WAS an exemplary Mason. Only, /
wonder, ii he had been content with one
wife if he ever would have invented
lodge night Now, out in Burlington,
where hve,' the Jester went on,
hastily breaking in on the Eat passen-
gers attempt to say something, there
was woman, neighbor Of mine, whose
husband belonged to more lodges, and
societies, aud fraternities, and leagues,
and unions, and clubs and things, than
the two Of them could count in . week.
Why, he went TO bed 10 regalia And
from force OF habit he used 70 call his
wife 'Worshipfal Mistress aud be adj
dressed his children as Junisr Ward.
ems and Chief Tough Moguls,' and
Most Worthy BAshi Bazonks, and other
wicked and pagan titles. That mans
children had vague idea that they
were in some close degree blood relA.
tiOns Of Solomon, and they always told
their sunday-school teacher that their
grandfather worked on the Tower Of
Babel, and they always spoke oil IIirsm
Abifr as 'Uucle Hiram And this
man used to 90 down aud pound the
boiler, and hold one corner OF the blan.
ket, and grease the pole. aud help heat
the pitch nights when thsre waa can.
didatn 10 be assassina.ed and he water
ed himself into dropsy at Good Temp.
lar meetings, and fcrmeated Limsslf
into q beer-vat at Druid picnic., aud
ate himself unto chronic Indigestion at
Odd Fello~s snppers, and sa. up nights
with sick Grand Army comrades, aud
visited Masonic widows, aud comforted
knight of Pythias orphans fcmAles-
sixteen years and upwards-and he
danced himself into . paralysis, and
got his eyes blacked at all sorts OF tails,
and had a good busy time Of IL, and was
considered a capital fellow because he
bad 10 write, S. o. G. +. w. and Is.
B. q. and +. o. ID. #, and w. 9. 7.
p. d, after his name every time be worte
n letter or registered n. a hotel. Well,
one day there were several things going
OF all at once in our town. There was
grand convocation of Knights Temp
lar, and public installation of Hope
Lodge, No. s277, ]. o. o. r.. and n
Druid picnic, and Hibernian benevo-
lent society ball, and fraternity SYM
postum, and Grand Army parade, and
two or three bazaar's, and masked
parade Of the T. o. Ms, and a Gro-
mans tournament and fight, and a
choral.upion rehearsal, and choice
meeting, ard baseball match, aud a
regatta, and croquet. quarrel, and in
the effort to attend all Of them in full
regalia the man overdid himself, came
home all tired out, told his wife he
didn't believe he felt very we'll himself
and went straight TO bed. His family
never saw the man again for six weeks
And the days were made busy and the
nights were made noisy by all manner
Of committees, wearing all manner o.
badges, coming to inquire after th'
sick man, and 10 sit mp with him, anC
bring him all manner Of comfortin.
things-gruel and jellies, and water
ices, and terrapin soup, and peanuts
and ice cream, snd cake, and pie, ant
watermelons, and tracts, and fiat tasks
and new stories, and sandwiches, ant
egg.nogg, and cigars, aud conundrums
and jokes on the boys, and all sorts 0
d doctors - homoeopataists, allepaths
: water.cures, Swedish movement cures
I I eclectics, new school, old school, regu
lars, guerrillas, Injdn doctors, faith doc
tors, kGeaders, slappers, and bealert
And the man got we'll ! lie had to,
the jester added, noticing the expires
sion of incredulity that settled upon th
countenances of the passengers "ther
were too many of bim to die once
While they were wrestling with one Q
him the rest would get the bulge O
them, and he pulled through. An
when he was quite we'll and all there
they had grand union picnic for hi
benefit, to which all the societies t.
which he belonged were invited. Th