davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
RAILROADS.
PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE,
Tn TIE NORTU WEST Ann SOvITUWrSr


PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE,
TO THE NORTH, WEST AND SOUTHWEST.
In EFFECT JANUARY q, 1882.
TRAINS LEAVE WASHINGTON, from station
corner of Sixth and streets,
For Pittsburg and the West Chicago Limited
Express Of Pullman Hotel and Sleeping Cars
at $50 q. m. daily Fast line 9:3O a. m. daily,
with Sleeping cars from Harrisburg TO- Cincin-
Palace cars to Pittsburg and Cincinnati
Mall Express, $50 p. m. daily for Pttsburg and
the West.
BALTIMORE POTOMAC RAILROAD.
For Canandaigua, Rochester, Buffalo. Niagara,
at $50 p. m. daily except Saturday, with Palace
Cars to Canandaigua.
For Williamsport. Lock Haven and Elmira at
go g. m. daily, except Sunday.
For New YORK and the East, 500 a. M, 1870 o. M,
l.S9; s;5O % and 1920 p NJ. On Sunday, I39, $3.50,
Parlor Cars, $40 9; m. daily, except Sunday:
$50 and 1920 p M. On Sunday at lsO, $40,
$50 and 1920 p m. Limited Express $50 a. M.
For Baltimore, $40, 500, $780, 1880 a. M, and 1so,
40, 440, $40, 7.30, $50 and 1920 p m. On SUM-
day, 800, $50 a. M, 13O, $40, 7.30 $50 and 1870
D.. m.
Tickets and information at the office. north
east corner of Thirteenth street and Pennsylvania
avenue, and at the station, where orders can be
left for the checking fbaggage to destination from
hotels and residences
FRANK THOMSON. General Manager.
], r., WOOD, General Passenger Agent,
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
& OHIO RAILROAD.
TIE MODEI, FAST


AH9 The ZEE East STli AND d The 4 sNnSENN WEsF.
DOUBLE TRAcKi JHNNEY CoupLERi
STEEL RAILS
Schedule to take effect Monday, Jan. 20, 1882.
A. N. LEAVE WASHINGTON;
t2.36-CHIcAso, CINcINNATI ANDST. LOUIS FAST
EXPRESS, Sleeping cars to Cincinnati, st
s.So-BsitimSrs: ,AnnagsIIs and WY: sPIed:
mont MOI t Strasburg; winchester, Hagerstown
~ 7.46-BaITISoSnn iBa MayS sla Expnnss. Eseiays
ExPREss. PaTlor cars aM to Me- New sS YORK. Rosi'N
9nsct meets foI Asgerstown and at Point Of Rocks
TO. e.ooNBaltimore. Hyattsville and Laurel Ex.
press. Stops at Beltsyilie, Annapolis juno
tion: Jesspps and Dorseys On Sunday
stops at all stations. Connects for Annap-
io.oo-BALrIMoRE EXPRESS. Stops at Hyatts-
neutrality-suspicious., CHICAGO. CINCINNATI and
st. LOUIS EXPRESS, Parlor and Sleeping
cars.
i2.io-Baltimore, Ellicot City, Annapolis and Way
r;ae-on Sunday Only. for Baltimore and Way.
tS. tS.oo-BALTIMoRE, PHILADELPHIA and NEW
YORK Ex PRESS.
Frederick, Hagerstown and Way. via Re,
lay.)
va R.sy sSps M
Anna .,olis Junction..
t4.45-Point of Rocks. Frederick, Hagerstown,
Winchester and Way Stations. (On Sunday
TO Point of Rocks and Way Stations only,
t6.46-BALTIMoRE EXPRESS. (Martinsburg and
Way, via Relay. Stops at Hyattsville and
Laurel.l
0.o6-POint OF Rocks and Way Stations.
t7.oo-Baltimore and Way Stations.
7.4o-BALTIMoRE, HYATTsvILLE and LAUREL
EXPRESS.
Islo-PITTsBUReH CLEVELAND and DETROIT
EXPRESS. Sleeping Cars.
to96-PHILADELPHIA,N New YORK and BOSTON
EXPRESS. Sleeping cars to New York.
Stops at Hyattsville and Laurel.
to.47-CHICAGo, CINCINNATI, and ST. Lou
EXPRESS Sleeping cars to Cincinnati q
Chicago.
tDaiy. tsInday only. Other trains daily ex-
cept Sunday.
Ali trains from Washington stop at Relay Sta.
tion.
For further Information apply at the Baltimore
and 1851 Penna. avenue, COR OF l4th street, where
orders will be taken fts baggage TO bechecked and
received at any point In the ctv.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
A I.0ng Trail.

1t Is announced that a herd Of 1000 sheep
has just arrived at Lincoln, Neb, from Wash
ingtoA Territory. The journey has occupied
two years The trail from Washington Terri
tory 10 the Missouri River Is said 10 be the
longest and hardest known TO stockmen. Three
years is often consumed In a drive OYER Il.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02

The success OF the Union Veteran Corps fair
at Masonic Temple is Unprecedented. The
hall has been crowded every night, and busi-
ness has been brisk. The continual addition
OF new attractions and the steady increase OF
patronage promises a handsome profit. The
Veterans have been fortunate In securing the
assistance OF so large n corps OF pleasant la
dies. The latter are untiring In their efforts 10
make The fair an unprecedented success.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
" No Fear of n Return. IS

SCRANTON, Pa, Sept. 10, 1881.
II II. WARNER & Co.; SiTs-Yoi.r Safe Kidney
and Liver Cure has completely cured me Of a
PAINFUL kidney trouble, and 1 have no fear OF
the return OF the disorder.
W. p. BENNETT, Dodge Avenue.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
Skin Diseases Cured.

One thousand dollars reward for better
remedy. Frazier's Magic Ointment has cured
the worst cases OF this awful disease. Sold by
all druggists at 90 cents per box.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
NORTH DAKOTA.
Some Facts and Figures From n
New SOurce-COmmittee Views.

Mr.. Grout OF the House Committee on Terri
tories, In submitting substitute bill for the
creation Of the Territory OF North Dakota, ten
ders a report from which is CLEANED the fol-
lowing interesting facts relative TO the Terri
tory In question: There are $4,000 luare
miles in all of Dakota as she now is, California
and Texas only being larger in political divi-
sions.
The Per Cent. of Increase i'm POpu.
IatiOn
the largest of any Territory or State In the
United States Of late years. The testimony on
the population places 1t at from 10000 to
25O,O0O. If the Territory is divided on the
forty-sixth parallel the proposed Territory
its population is now about $4,000, the exact
population at the last census being "a 1888.
In June, 1880, there were eighty-six post
offices In North Dakota, and the present num-
Der is JOG, sixty having been established
within the last eighteen months. In June,
1880, there were but two national and five
private banks in North Dakota, with a capital
OF $150,OOO. Now there are nine national and
sixteen private banks, with a capital of $780,
900. Many other statistics are given to show
the
Wonderful Development OF the
Country.
In 1881 there were S,OOOOO bushels of
wheat raised in the proposed Territory, tndi-
eating the cultivation OF about 100000 acres
OF land. The committee's report states that
vast reaches OF unsettled country separate the
people OF North and South Dakota, and that
they have no commercial relations or commu-
nication whatever, except by way Of the mill
tary trail along the Missouri River. The
products Of North Dakota find outlet by way
of st. Paul and Duluth and the lakes, and the
business OF the people is with those cities,
while South Dakota has Intercourse with Chi
cago and st. Louis. The distance from Fargo
"a principal city OF North Dakota) to Yankton
Ghe capitaD Is 600 miles; from Bismarck
preme Court, and the Territorial institutions
in general, are from 600 to 800 miles from
North Dakota people, making 1t
Great Hardship and Expense
to the inhabitants OF North Dakota to accept
or do without these public institutions. Under
the present organization the Judge assigned
to North Dakota is compelled to hold fifteen
terms OF court in the several counties, and to
travel 2,4OO miles to attend two terms Of the
Supreme Court. The people OF the two por-
tions are entirely different, and have no re-
| lations OF any moment In any form. They are
unanimous In their request for division, and
the committee recommends 1t.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
LADIES' COLUMN.
Kings Palace.
YOUR LAST CHANCE FOR THIS SEASON.
UNTIL MARCH 10Th ONLY THE FOLLOWING
REDUCTIoNs WILL DE MADE:

UNTIL MARCH 10Th ONLY THE FOLLOWING
REDUCTIoNs WILL DE MADE;
The balance Of PATTERN HATS AND BoNNETs
at 50, SO and 81; sold formerly at $5, $40
and S15.
Our famous BEAvER-EDGED HATS will now
be closed at 80 cents; formerly $3.50
Our MOSCOW BEAVERS, desirable Shapes, at
10 cents; formerly 81.
DERBY'S at 25 cents; formerly 75 cents and
81. Lovely Trimmed Hats In Chlldren's
and Misses sizes at 80 cents and rs cents.
Fine FRENCH FLOWERS at 25 cents Spray.
ROSES AND BUDS at 25 cents per dozen.
Fine WATER LILIES at 25 cents.
Elegant TIPS, in all colors, at 25 cents.
sATINs, SILKS, PLUsHEs, vELvETs, VEL
vETEENs at 33 per cent less than prime
cost.
fine lot OF EMBROIDERY below market
value to close the entire lot.
LACES of all the leading and best make and
style at great reduction.
Our ULsTER3 will be sold at 50. so and SO.
Our CIRCULARS AND CLoAKs at 50 so and 49,
Our entire stock Of wORSTED GOODS and
SACQUEs at so per cent. loss THAN cost.
KID GLOVES, LACE FICHUs AND sCARFs,
SILK HANDKERCHIEFs AT A svCRIFICE.
An additional reduction in RIBBONS Of 20
per cent. will be given until March 10.
Lovely PLUMES in all shades, 75c., 81, 81. .25.
S1.5O to 81.
We are receiving daily our New Styles of
Spring Goods, and have some lovely styles
ready for inspection.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02

Tonight, tomorrow night, Saturday after
noon, and Saturday night, the Lawrence Bar
rett Club will hold forth at the National
Theatre, appearing in "Julius Cesar" and
the "Merchant of Venice" These perform
ances viii be very Interesting. Some OF our
hest local performers Will apDear
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
Canifal Theafre.
Union Yeternn Corps Fair.

The famous New York specially troupe now
performing at the Capital Theatre is composed
OF artists OF superior talent who appear every
night In a splendid prOgramme.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
"Aiderney Dairy wagons"

Fresh Alderney Butter, churned every morn
ing and delivered In 12ib. "Ward "printa, 60c.
per NJ. Also, cottage cheese, buttermilk and
sweet milk, DC. per Qt Cream l5c. pint.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02

When landed in the scales Of Justice tha
weight OF the transgressOr Is hard.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
Carrying Their vandal Hands Into
Every Nook and Corner

OF the State. No office is too small or insignin-
cant to escape their greed. They have re-
moved the officers of the lunatlc asylum In
the State, turning out men who had become
expert in their treatment of their afilcted
inmates, and put in utterly inexperienced
and incompetent men, Just because they are
called Readjusters. They are talking OF re-
moving the directors OF the University of Vir-
ginla and the Virginia Military Institute, two
OF the most prominent educational establish
ments In the State, and putting In their places
the disciples of Reputation. There was even
a resolution offered in the virginia House OF
Delegates to declare all the Offices of notarles
public vacant, so as to I'LL them with
The Cohorts of Malone.
"Let them," he continued, "do their worst
The State now is In a condition of chaos. She
will soon get so bad that she cannot carry the
filthy load in her stomach, and like Jonah's
whale, she will throw IL up"
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
Great Hardship and Expense
AMUSEMENTS.
FOrtl's ODera.hOuse,
italian Opera

Haverly's Mastodon Minstrels are having the
most successful engagement they have ever
met with In Washington. Their show is I'M
mense,
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
Lawrence barrett Club,

Mapleson's Grand Italian Opera Compa
closed a memorable engagement at the \
tional Theatre last night.
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02
A VIRGINIA BouRBoN,s VIEW
Of the Readjuster Movement In the
Old minion-Readiuster Judges,

Etf.. ETC.
In a conversation this morning with proml
nent Virginia Bourbon Democrat, whose In
formation on this and all kindred subjects Ia
equal, II not superior, to that OF any man in
that State, the following facts as 70 how the
Readjusters are running the governmental
machinery of Virginia were given CRITIC re-
porter:
bouncing bourbon Judges.
"The Readiusters" he remarked, "are
turning out all the tried and trusted Judges In
the State and putting In their places men
whom T. was impossible to respect" that there
was now in the State very little or none of
the old reverence which was once felt for the
wearers OF the ermine; that all sorts OF mako
shifts are now put up and called Judges. He
knew one, who has lately been put on the Cir
cult bench who is as Innocent OF all knowledge
OF law and pretty nearly everything else as a
newborn baby. In another judicial circuit,
one that was particularly noted for the purity
and ability OF Its judiciary, man has been
put upon the bench who is
Not Only Incompetent. hut Corrupt;
q man who was discharged from n whisky
gaugershlp on account OF malfcasance, and In
whose case there are to-day papers nled In the
Internal Revenue Department showing the
cause Of his dismissal. The party In question
was also gambler, and cheating gambler at
that, as was proven on more than one occasion
by his using an instrument called "lizzard."
"In former times," he said, "the judges were
elected by the people, but since universal suf-
frage has been the order OF the day, and such
n mass OF illiterate voters turned loose to the
polls, IL was considered best for the safety OF
the State and the purity OF the bench to put
the electing power in the hands OF the Legls-
lature.
content with thus revolutlonizing the circlits,
but are
The Evening critic., 1882-03-02

who VIII meet them upon common ground and
shake Bourbonism from the centre to the CIR
cumferance. Speaking for myself standing as
have ever done to the party nominations,
and obeying its strict behests, Will cordially
unite with and lend every effort to the con-
summation OF this best purpose Let every
other opponent to Bourbon control declare the
same, and the opposition movement now CON
temptuousiy spoken of by conceded Bourbon
Democrats will result in the Liberalization OF
Texas. An honorable attempt In this direc-
tfon should unite all persons and parties who
are sincere and honest in their objections Ia
Democracy"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23
Animals in Moray .

A correspondents makes the following
remare on q very pieasent feature Oh
the Norwegian character, VIZ, kindness
to domestic animals. In that country.
he SAYS these animals are treated as the
friends rather than the slaves of man.
As q result, vicious horses are unknown;
foals follow their dams at work in the
fields or on the road as soon as they
have sufficient strength, and thus gent
" aceustom themselves To harness. l
heard of foal trying to force its head
into a collar in imitation of its mother.
Horses are trained to obey the voice
rather than the hand; bearing-reins are
not used. and the whip, if carried st all,
is hardly ever made use of Great care
is taken not to overload carts, especial
w in the case of young horses, and con-
seuuently a broken knee is rarely seen,
and the animals continue fat, in good
condition. and capable of work, till the
advanced age of twenty-five or thirty.
So tame are the Norwegian horses
and COWS that they viii allow casual
passers-by to caress them while they
are living down. Even domestic cats
will approach boy with confidence,
knowing that no chasing or worrying
awaits them.
One very hot summers day / met a
woman holding up an Umbrella to care
fully screen what supposed was lit
tie child at her side from the scoring
rays of midday sun, while her own
head was covered only by handker-
chief. In driving by I tried to gain a
glimpse of her charge, and found, to
my great surprise, that the object OF
her care was fat black pig.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23
CHICAGO. MINIATURES x ST. PAUL

(gACTNE AND SOUTH WESTERN DIvIsIoN-)
Leave for Racine and Milwaukee SIS ii. IN, and
II. Is D. IN
Leave for Dubuque, Winona St. Paul and Minneap-
oils SOB a.
and Yankton, II 10 p. m.
Arrive from Racine and Milwaukee, .25 p. H., and
430 3. m
Arrive from Minneapolis, st. Paul, WinOna and Du-
buque, 10 ;o6 p. m.
Arrive from YanktOn, Sioux City, PortVille and MIC
Gregor, 4:30 a. IN.
Through sleeping cars on all night TRAINS.
THE Night Express leaving Rock Island every sun
day night at II rs D. m connects with the train
irving in Chicago early Monday morning. No lay
over checks given through tickets from Rock Is
land 10 Chicago Through tickets only good ON this
train.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23

,5EE VI ZEN fEE1E EAST ~ AHE WEST
Dinfag Cars for eating purposes Only. oneoths
BALLOON where you can enjoy your " HaxanaS
at all hours of the day.
Magnificent Iron Bridges span the MfssissippS
Inc, and transfers are volded AZ Conncii Blnfs
Kansas City Leaven'wOrth. and AechiBon. cons
Dections being made in Union nepotHs
TITS gI!EAT THR0uGE Line ARE A
Al cHicAao, wttn ali aivers.ns .tnes for the
= IS Ei;s 81 s Igs With sneIsaMs. and p
AZ WAsaINGToN HzTeErs. vita p. C. q So
At Ia SAILS, with III Cent. r.
W.; IL hid and Il, p & W. Rds : - :. =. :
At Rock Iax4AaTT1, with Afllwaukee g. Rock
Island short Line :, and Book Isle = Pee Eae
G. n. Il s. r. Kit
/ AZ yVIssT I4aERTY with eheB.. g r.
AtGRINEELLs with Central lows =. ~
AT DIS MONIES, with p. a.. s. Z. D II.
AS COUNCIL 73E15E.zs, with Iju5ee 773c5s5a s.
At OMAHA with Il. II Nc ~ II
AtloLUM8us JUEcTEoN,Elta 81.
A. Q1IUMw4. With Central love- i
Sc. Ia 4 P3e., aud G. b. & O. r.. RdE.
Al kEoKuK. with Toi,, Peo. & war.. esss
As CAMERON. with II. sc. ]. Il. r.
Ateh. 4 Ee6. a.d Cen, Br d. i. a. Rds.
AZ LEAyEsWoETH. with kan. Pae. and KaEs
Ask1SsAs cIrr. with all Ines for the wess
m through Co PE0RaA. DEE M0xNEa
ATGkzk@QNs and GEAWEMvE@AkTkH.
:. Great 3oek kshand B0ntess arc aSid a.
IS heme ssekes omes. address,
70. ST. JOHN.
asng Tieket anc 2sAsgEfa,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23

James Ceiling, one of the pioneers of
Hancock county, died at La Harpe last
Saturday. He gave the seminary which
bears his name to the Northern Illinois
Methodist conference.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23

A negro at Quincy blew into the muZ-
zle of his gun the other day. to see if it
was loaded The gun went off and so did
the niger; but the gun is still in Quincy
and the niger isn't.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23

Preparations are being made 60 dis
cover another comet. One that viii not
up so early In the morning is preferred
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23
CHICAGO, BURLINGTON 4 QUINCY.

Local passenger makes close connection at Alpha
for points on Keithsburg branch; at Monmouth for
Kansas City. Council Bluffs ami points west; at
Bushnell for Quincy Hannibal, St Joe and points
in southwest.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-11-23

40 1AE VAklA4 O0xN1S6O& 4xSO 4AAAAAA
B1ufss. passing through Joliet, Ottawa. La Saiie,
Geneseo. Moline, Rock Island. Davenport, West
Liberty. Iowa City. Marengo, Brooklyn. Grfnnell.
pss Aoinss the c,Rf ,s q Ioya.s sIoaEt Allan,
Junction 70 Peoria; Wilton Junction 70 Musca-
tine, Washington. Fairfield. Eioon. Eel&nap.
Centreviile. Princeton. Trenton, Gallatin. Came
washingson 20 Eisourney. Oskaloosa. anG Knox.
Vile: kspkuk 70 Pennington. BonapArte. Benz
eonspoft. Independent, Eldon. Ottg-nWa. Eddy
Vile, Oskaloosa. Pelia Monroe. and Dies Aoines;
Tinterset; Atlantic 70 Lewis and AuaEbons and
Avoca to Harlan This is positively the only
Railroad. which owns, and operates through
zine from Chicago into the State@of Kansas.
man Palace Cars ftacned. are run each csay dolly
beEWaen CHICAGO end PEORIA, KANSAS CRY.
COUNCIL BLUFFS. LEAvESwORTH and ArCIxI-
son Inr9ngh eaTs are also Enn 5efTeen A.ilsgaus
Rock Leland Short IAfle"
The Great Rock Island" fe nnagSsEaeaely
equipped. Its road bed 5s simply perxes. and It's
track Is laid with steel rails.
What will please y0s Ta0st viii be the pleasure
OF enjoying your meals, while passing ever the
beautiful pratries Of Illinois and Iowa. IN cue OF
Our magnificent Dining Cars that accompany all
meal as good as IS served In any Erst-cfsss hotel
Appreciatins the fact that majority OF shs
eecpie prefer separate apartments Tor diherenb
PURPOSES tand the Immense passenger business
Of this line warraQting it,. weare pleased 20 an-
n0sknce that this Company Pattnsan E96facs
Sleeping Cars for sleeping purposes. ana EGGacg
"a PULLMAN PALACE GARM are sx
CQNNGxk 6LgEEA KANsAs CITY, J
Al TzeEeE Ageaas Am abe unstea States
q. e. CABLE.
Yiss PrsE1dsrt enc eeaq Aaaaxs
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-07-22
WHY is carriage going down q

Why is carriage going down u
steep hill like 81. ueorge9 Because it is
drawn with drag on tdragon).
Don't you love birds, Mr. Prosman,
and all their sweet little vuysT 1 do,
Miss Gushington, dearly--on toast"
When should you avoid the edge of
river 2-When The hedges are shooting
and the bullrushes ont
Why is an after of roses never NOV
ed without orders 7-BecCause it is sent
(scent) wherever they go.
What two letters do boys delight in,
to the annoyance of their tlders2 Two rs
Ito tease).
We see 10y the San Bntonia papers
that the butchers have raised club. If
their teDder-loin steaks are Us tough as
they used to be, th y might use the club
to advantage on them. Just now beef is
tough all over the country. In some parts
of the State beef steaks are used for door
hinges.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-07-22
LOST, A BOY.
He went from the old home heatthstone
Only two years ago,


He went from the old home heatthstone
Only two years ago,
A laughing, rollicking fellow,
It would do you good TO know
Since then we have not seen him, %
And we say with nameless pain,
The boy that we knew and loved so
We shall never see again. '.
One bearing the name we gave him
Comes home to us to-day,
But this is not the dear fellow
We kissed and sent away.
Tall as the man we call father,
With q mans look in bis face,
Is he who tskes by the hearthstone
The lost boys olden place.
We miss the laugh that made music
Wherever the lost boy went;
This man has smile most winsome,
HIS eyes have grave intent.
We know he Is thinking and planning
His way in the world Of men,
And we cannot help but love him,
But we long for our boy again.
We are proud Of this manly fellow
Who comes to take his place,
With hints Of the vanished boyhood
In his earnest, thoughtful face;
And yet comes back the longing
For the boy we must henceforth miss,
Whom we sent away from the hearthston,
Forever with a kiss,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-07-22
mnsnAR WILDE STYLE -

A day or two ago man wearing look
of doubt, and having the air of one car
rying great mental burden, made up to
a citizen who was seated under one of the
City Hall porticoes, and softly began.
I'm green. live ont here about ten
miles, and / never read or bear anything
until its year old. Iwant to ask you a
question"
"All right, SIR"
what is the Oscar Wilde style?'
"well, there is chap named Oscar
Wilde. He's a cross between fool and
lunatic. He dresses like a child, and
sees more beauty in an old brick yard
than the rest of us can find in a botanical
garden. Anything outrageous, Tidicu-
lous or absurd is call after him."
us that it2 Well that settles mel"
"Whst is your trouble?"
"Well, you see. have wife and two
daughters, About six months ago /
caught one Of the girls a-kissing a car
penter. and she said it was Oscar Wilde
style. Then ran on to the other with
her head on the hired mans shoulder, and
she said the same thing. didn't know,
you know. aud 1 had to let it pass. /
didn't want my gals to be behind the age.
you see, and so didn't kick. Then /
caught the old woman feeding caramels
to the house painter, and that was Oscar
Wilde style once more. It's been going
on all over the farm ever since-moon-
light walks, kissing under the apple trees.
huRging on the veranda and calling each
other darling over the door-yard. Aud
now it wasn't Oscar Wilde style after all?"
"Hardly."
THAT settles me some morel I'm 60
ing home! I'm going at the rate of six
miles an hour and bounce in on 'em iu
the midst of their bilarity and If l don't
mangle and pulverize the whole eaboodls
I'll come back to be kickedl Oscar Wilde!
Why I'll slam 'em aud bang EN- and mop
'em to fiindersl Oscar Wildel Why, III
And he went away on a trot with glare
in his eyes and his fists doubled up.