The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1882-09-20
Good Morning, Professor.

In this favored land the ProfesS6< IL
running the Colonel a pretty close ire,
and the Colonel may just as well er-
stand that he has TO hump himself or
he'll get shut out at the distance bele
Just after the close of the war tue Col
onel took such start that the most
sangrline friends of the Professor Omit
ted that he never could catch up. i But
the Professor is one of the Immortal few
that were not born to die, and while the
Republic lasts he will be on deck Seed
time and harvest may fail. summer Hnay.
cease and the winter may not endure
morning and even time may pass away,
but the Pro lessor will be here. This Is
the country for him, and while it istiefE
nitely settled by the last census that the
Colonelis dying out, and that th5Ee is
now but one Colonel to every Sc
seven OF population, the Professor IS
on the increase and holds all that he
gains.
The title is most honorable, and at
one time it represented only the broad
est scholarship, the profoundest learn
ing. 1t represented long years of Lard,
patient study of men and books and
things 1t meant thought. 1t meant
brains. 1t meant wis ION. 1t meant
standing in the world OF intellect. 1t
was a title hard to win and sparingly
bestowed. Now
A new barber comes to town and
opens .'tonsorial pariors' room
and two chairs-he is Prof. Scraper. A
man goes around the country trad ng
horses and selling cure for ring bone
Prof. Snaflie, the eminent veterinary
surgeon; because where physician who
ministers to human suffering, with all
the learning and skill the colleges can
give him, is content and proud to be
called doctor, the travelling ''hoss doc
tor is always and everywhere .' Pro-
fessor." A man hires hall and teach
es people to dance-Prof. Lightfoot-
He NAV not be able to make o II i. own
bills, and spells schottishe with seven
letters, but he is Pro 'essor A circus
employee goes up in a balloon Prof.
Gasbag, the daring aeronaut. A retired
prize fighter opens n gymnasium and
boxing school -i'rof. Bruiser, in ;iructor
OF physical science and muscular devel-
opment. A man takes his rife and
makes thirty nine buil' S eyes in the tar
get out of a possible forty at eight hun
dred yards Prof. Globesite, all over the
country. fast as the mail and telegraph
can confer his degree. A Texas COW
boy CONES north and breaks hor. es for 8
living Prof. Toeea k. A man swims
further than any other Professor.
A man cuts corns and cures bunions fol-
liying-Professor; he waltzes three
hours without re sting Pro essor; play.
the fiddle and imparts to others the Sc
crets OF the diabolical art-Professor
walks slack rope stretched across the
| street Professor; goes without eating
| twenty d;tys-Professor; rides fotll
| horses barebaek-Professor; sings in the
choir-Professor teaches brass bant
Professor; cures warts-Professor
| plays billiards for a living--Professor
| trains dogs Professor; performs som,
| clever tricks of sleight of hand-Profes
sor; does anything in the world excep
teach, and knows less of books an,
schools than he does of Heaven-Pro
| fessor.
The Colonel differs widely from the
| Professor in that no reason is ever as.
signed for his being. A man is simpl,
called Colonel either becase he wa
| Lieutenant in the army or never wa
| in the army. it is immaterial. He i
| just Colonel. that's ALL But the Pro
fessor claims his title by reason of hi
profession" whether it be the cob
bling OF shoes or training of dogs. An,
as occupations increase in variety so tn
| Professor increases in number.
| There Is nonOr in the honorable oil
title still, to the scholars who hav
| earned it well and wear it with dignity
And it is shame that the title whicl
belongs exclusively to their world SHOULD
| have its livery worn in the circus, tn
rat-pit and the stables. Let US boycott
the bogus Professor as an act of simpl
justice to the Professor whom we all cs
| teen. -BNf}illQtOn Hatc6eQe.