San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-06-01
Iowa Girls at Auction.

II. nav schemes of raising money,
,rs"h sociables are and always have
emu emu neculiar. To attain this end they
psuI cpntenance even the less harmful
W. of Satan and pronounce them
pad pnnd The church treasury, which
SSvSht always to be full, but which
o,atimes becomes so mournfully
suanty must be replenished, and after
,hs ordinary means of filling it are tried
and fail, other means are resorted to,
smopg which are mentioned grab-bags,
Kissing games where the cash value of
tha osculation is governed almost en-
,;rely by the personal charms of the
;amcle osculator, and festivals where it
nosts 10 cents to get in and almost any
number of times that amount of dollars
10 Get out; and various other schemes
which entrap the masculine victim who
shiyers vita delight while the game
GOES on, but denounces himself in I'M
Measured terms for qualified idiot on
tbe following day when reason resum es
is seat, aud the fun force of his dimin.
ished pocketbook is felt. e q. rrae.
Up at Clear Lake, that center of
summer pleasure parties and Sabbath
school associations in Iowa, the
churches became tired of these old
stereotyped plans of raising money,
and new scheme was, evolved from
the inner consciousness of some bright
genius. The treasury of the Congre-
Sationalist Church became rather bare,
and so the young folks got together and
determined to fill it even to overflow.
After a prolonged discussion it was
decided to bring about the desired end
by putting all the girls of the church
up at auction to be disposed of to the
highest bidder. The time came around,
and every young man in or near Clear
Lake who had any money or could
possibly borrow any, was promptly on
hand, eager to bid to the fullest extent.
But there we're some of the girls on
whom it would have been impossible
to obtain the bid of an old fashioned
copper cent, while there were others for
whom the love-sick SWANS would will
ingly have bid their last dallar, and in
the spirit of Artemus Ward, the last
dollar of any Of their relatives. So to
give all of tho boys an equal chance,
the girls were wrapped up in sheets, so
as to be completely unacceptable.
Each young man was positive that be-
meath the snowy folds of the sheet he
could discern the outline of the girl on
whom he dotted, and when from fifteen
to twenty of the young fellows singled
out the particular sheeted object on
which to stake their fortunes, excite
ment ran high and money ran out of
pocket-books like water down O slant
ing roof.
After all the fair ones were disposed
Of, the order was given to "haul up the
Sheets" and then ensued an indescrib-
able scene of mingled happiness and
disappointment. Maidens who had
been purchased for a mere song, owing
to a lack of bidders, turned out to be
the best-looking girls in the town, while
beings whose sylph-like appearance
under sheet excited the greatest ad-
miration, and drew hard earned money
from unwilling pocket-books, were
found to be most commonplace crea-
lures, indeed. But all made the best
Of it, aud the disappointed ones bore
themselves bravely. Altogether, the
plan was great success; and as long
as churches will raise money by lottery
schemes, why not adopt this method
It is as harmless, and yet is productive
of as much good to the participants, as
any game of chance we know of. 1t
gives the homely girls and bashful boys
an equal chance with their respective
opposites, besides resulting in a grand
financial success, and we look for its
general adoption. To be sure, it is
asking good deal of modest, womanly,
refined girls. But then church socia-
bles are always doing that!-Des
Moiaoes Register.