The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1882-03-23
AvENTRILOQUIST'S A JOKE.

4
was occupied by Miss Madonna. the sec
ond by Mr.. Plumplee, the third by Mr..
Beagle, and the fourth by the servant.
But that in which Mr.. Beagle slept was
double -bedded room, and Valentine
had, therefore, to make his selection be-
tween the spare bed and the sofa. Of
course the former was preferred, and, as
the preference seemed highly satisfactory
to Mr. Beagle himself, they passed the
evening very quietly together, and in due
time retired.
Valentine, on having his bed pointed
out to him, darted between the sheets in
the space of minute, for, as Mr.. Jonas
Beagle facetiously observed, he'd but to
shake himself and everything came off;
when, as he did not by any means feel
drowsy at the time, he fancied that he
might as well amuse his companion for
an hour or so as not. He therefore turn
| ed the thing in his mind while Mr..
Beagle was quietly undressing, being
anxious for that gentleman to extinguish
the light before he commenced opera
tions.
"Now for beautiful nights rest," OBJ
served Mr.. Jonas Beagle to himself as he
put out the light with tranquil mind,
and turned in with great degree of COM
| fort.
"Mew new! mewl" cried Valentine
softly, throwing his voice under the bed
of Mr.. Beagle.
"Hish!-confound that cat!' cried Mr..
Beagle. "We must have you out at all
events, my lady" And Mr.. Beagle at
once slipped out of bed, and having
opened the door, cried "hish!" again,
emphaticallv, and threw his pantaloons
toward the spot as an additional remind
er for the cat not to ''stand on the order
of her going" when Valentine repeated
| the cry, and made it proceed from the
stairs.
Mr.. Beagle thanked heaven that she
was gone, closed the door. and very care
| fully groped his way to bed.
"Mew! new! mew!" cried Valentine,
just as Mr.. Beagle had again comforta-
bly, composed himself.
"What! are you there still, MADAME"
| inquired that gentleman in highly sar-
castle tone. ST thought you had been
turned out, madam! Do you hear this
witch of cat?" he continued, addressing
| Valentine, with view of conferring up
on him the honorable Office of tiler for
the time being; but Valentine replied
with deep, heavy snore, and began to
new with additional emphasis.
"Well, I don't have treat every day,
it is true; but if this isn't one, why I'm
out in my reckoning thas's all, observ-
ed Mr.. Jonas Beagle, slipping again out
of bed. 81 don't much like to handle
you, my lady, but if did. I'd of course
give you physic." And he "hished"
again with consummate violence, and
continued to "hish!" until Valentine
scratched the bed-post sharply-a feat
which inspired Mr.. Beagle with the con-
viction of its being the disturber of his
peace, in the act of decamping, when he
threw his pillow very energetically toward
the door, which he closed, and then re-
turned to his bed in triumph. The mo-
ment, however, he had comfortably tuck
ed himself up again, he missed the pill
low, which he had converted into an in
strument of vengeance, and as that was
an article without which he couldn't hope
to go to sleep, he had of course to turn
out again to get it.
GLOW many more times, l wonder, !"
he observed, "shall have to get out of
this blessed bed to night Exercise GER
tainly is comfort, and very conductive
to health; but such exercise as this
why, where have you got to2" he added,
addressing the pillow, which, with all the
sweeping action of his feet, he was for
some time unable to find. "Oh! here
you are, sir, are You?" He picked up
the object of his seerch, and gave it sew
eral blows, when, having reinstated him.
self between the sheets, he exclaimed, in
subdued tone: '.Well, let's try again."
Now, Mr.. Jonas Beagle was man who
prided himself especially upon the even.
ness of his temper. His boast was that
nothing could put him in passion. He
did, however, feel, when he violently
smote the pillow, that that little ebulti-
ion partook somewhat of the nature of
passion, and had just commenced re-
preaching himself for having INDUCED
in that little ebulhtion, when Valentine
| cried:
"Meyswl meyow!-phit! phitl phit?
-meyowl"
"Helloo!" exclaimed Mr.. Jonas Bea-
gle, "here again?"
"Mewr' cried Valentine, in some
what higher key.
"Whatl another come to contribute to
the harmony of the EVENING""
"Meyowl meyow!" cried Valentine,
| Id Key still higher.
"Well, how many more of you ?" in
quired Mr.. Beagle; you'll be able to
get up concert, by and by"
Valentine began to spit and scold with
great felicity.
"Swear away, you beauties - cried
Mr.. Jonas Beagle, as he listened to this
volley OF fresh oaths. 81 only wish that
was not SO much afraid of you, for
your sakes At it again, are you? Well,
this is blessing. Don't you hear these
imps of cats 2" he cried, anxious not to
have all the fun to himself.
But Valentine recommended snoring
very loudly.
| "Well this Ia r,articnIarlv pleasant /"