davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
The Oyster.

The oyster Is g very fortunate creatures if 1t be fortunate 10 be much mentioned in history People who have swallowed an enormous number Of oysters figure in anecdote, end are considered to have donesomething uaeritorious. Tie Roman who first formed oyster beds, which he did at Raie, Is known to have been named Sergious Orata, who had the hap- piress to live to the time of Augustus, and who is known to have made great deal of money by tie exercise of bis in genuity. To-day 1t is mentioned in the encyclopedias that Apieus, contenpo- rary of Traian, was the first who taught the world how to pickle oysters. His fame rests upon that fact. There was another ApicIis distinguished for his love of Holsters; there wss another who set mp school of cooks; but the oyster picking Apicys has 3 distinct fame, and survives freshly in classical dictionaries. When George 1. came to England rom Hanover the royal cooks could not please the royal palate in the matter of oysters until 1t was discovered that his Majesty liked them stale, as he had slvavs been in the hGbit of eating them. Nhel1 izr., Thackeray first came to Boston certain of his admirers asked him to supper: There were, among other delicecies, gi- gantic oysters. The novelist co1tlo not comprehend that he was to swallow one of these in an undivided state, but, being shown the way and having accomplished the feat, he observed that. Ie felt " as if ue mad swallowed a baby"
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
BIinkum'S Cow,

Blinlzum put up a notice ia the post office advertising COW for sale. Now on sq1are trade Blinkum can't be beat. 4 neighbor wanted to purchase COW. saw the notice, and called upon Blinkum. "I understand you have COW to sell, |" said the purchaser. "Yes, sir, and she's as good cow as ever whisked her tail in mesquite time," Sad Blinkum. How old is she ?" "Just g years old last spring, and not 8 day older. 7" Brea~h ?" inquired the purchaser "Not breach, said B.irkum. "What kind of hulk does she give?" "It ain't milk. It is clear cream, and forms into butter balls all stamped before you can get out of the yard. Why," continued Blinkum, warming up, her butter has taken first premium at the O-cord coun- ty fair for the last dozen yenrr." "Is sine fsrrow or a new miIcn-cow }" " Well," st ic B., scratching Is head, she's-well she's a-which do you want ?"
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
A SpaniSh City at Night.

As the shades of evening descend, this whole street, illumined with lamps, torches, and parti-illumined with lanterns, becomes fairy scene. The cafes are then crowded to repletion 1; youthful eyes flash love at each other over glasses of snowy Horchatas old men sip their spiced cognac and dream of the isles of blessed, and fiery politi- tians rave and stamp and seem ready to tear each other to pieces. Here 8 group of artists discuss picture there a couple of padres are trying their hands at cards here is young nailjtaire, fresh from Madrid. covered with spangles and as gay as a peacock ; and there in that corner-can you believe your eyes l- the veritable old beggar that you just saw in the street, investing the piesta that you gave him in nightcap of invig- orating cordial. Every rank in society is represented; every variety of color and costume flashes out beneath those brilliant lights, while your ears are assaied by the din of voices. the tink- ling of glasses. the sharp click of the dice on the marble table, intermingled with the strains of delicious music. This is De las Siarpes by night. Would you not like to see it? It is phantas- magoria of splendor; 1t is a babel of confusion it is a page from the "Arab- ian Nights Entertainments supple mented by sundry passages from the " Hero de h Mancha."
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
He Had Left His Card.

No matter how witty you may be, some one is likely to be more witty still and to turn your weapon against your- self. When two gent emen fell out with each other one of them went to the otaer's hcr @, and iu large letters wrote "scoundrei' on the front door. The next day, when they met by accident, number two said to number one:
 'How did you dare to call on me, yesterday, sir ?'
 ''I did not call on you and I never will esll on you, was the bitter reply.
 "Ne ell, sir" continued number two, either you or one of your friends called, for this morning, when I came out of the house, saw your name writ t=n on my door,"
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
Humorous Retorts.

A retort may be either civil or uncivil, courteous or uncourteous, witty or se- we're. The simple meaning of the word Is thus given by well-known compiler: To return all argument, accusation, censure or incivility to make severe reply" A few examples may not be un- interesting to the reader.
 A witty nobleman once asked cleri- cal gentleman at the bottom of the table shy the goose, when there was one; was always placed next to the parson. Really, my Lord, said the clergyman, "your question is somewhat difficult to answer, and so remarkably odd that I VOW shall never see g goose again without being reminded of your Lord ship"
 It is related of Lord Falkland that ii 1858, under the Commonwealth, his ad. mission to the House of Commons was very much opposed by several members; he being barely of legal age. Soins urged that he had not yet sown his wild oats. Perhaps not," he quickly re- torted; "but no doubt good opportu- nity will be offered nIe to SOW them in this House, where evidently there are plenty of geese to pick them up." The petulance of youth was here most forci- ply exhibited.
 At repartee the Rev. Sydney Smitli had few equals, and he must have been bold individual who attempted to ban ter words with that celebra ed humorist. His humorsome and deliberate manner of driving homo rotort 6 thick-headed squire once discovered, who, being worsted by him m an argument, re venged himself by exclaiming, aBy love, if had son who was an idiot, I'd make him parson." "Very proba,- bly," replied Sydney; "but I see your father was of different mind"
 A severe honle-thrust WAS once qiren to young country clergyman, who bap- pened at the time to be walking houle from church with one of his elder par- ishioners. It was 3 very icy day, when the latter suddenly slipped and fell at full length on his back. The minister, at glance, feeling assured he was not much hurt. said to him "Ah, my good sir, pray givs me your haDd sinners stand on slippery p,aces' Tiis old gen fleman looked up and immediately an- swered !" So I perceive you certainly keep your footing remarkably we'll"
 To be considered donkey Is not sIz together conducive to o9e's satisfaction or dignity, few, if any og us, caring to be classed with that much-abused and vili6ed animal. On oDe occasion ro small amount of maTriment followed $ retort made by en indignant gentleman during sale of pictures sat London auction-room. lie and another dis puted the possession cf 3 capital l,ictnre by 8 celebrated English Ia;nter, which faithfully represented an ass Each seemed detern;ned to opsbia the other. Finally. one said: " Ny dear sir, it is of no use, I shall not give in. Ths painting once belonged to my gzanIi.ss father and intend to have it." .'Qh; in that case," said his opponent, "I will give it up. I think you are fully en /. titled to it, if 1t is one of yolr family portraits. ."-Chaia5es's Journal
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
A Prize-Fighter's Preparations for the
 Ring.

How do you train ?' asked New York reporter of a noted prize-fghter.
 "Well, I generally rise at day break, end when I want to take 9 sweat 1 mufie myself up in heavy fanneis, pnt on heavy boots, take short, thick stick and start eff on two mile run, leaving Dooney Harris, who is little bit old, to take care of my things at home When I get back I am bathed and rub1ed, washed with 8 decoction of armies, borax and Jamaica rum, and bathe my face with white vinegar mixed with alum and borax. Then 1 lie down on my bed, and after rest go down to breakfast with an appetite. I generally polish of two mutton chops, four slices of toast, four fresh eggs, and bowl of English tea After. breakfast I rest, and then put on heavy fannels for a run of twelve miles at ten-milo-an-hou gait. I get an- other good rubbing down, and dine on roast beef or leg of mutton or broiled chicken, with greens, potatoes and toast, & bottle of Scotch ale, and calves foot jelly and custard pudding to fill up with. After an hours rest 1 play with light dumb bells, fight the bag, CT kick foot ball. At p. m. start off on another long tramp at an easy galt, and hammer with my stick at every object meet to strengthen my wrists, so that when 1 fight I can save my knuckles and prevent the small bones on the back of my hands from breaking. After the afternoons 8 walk it is generally supper time. Then I take sponge bath and rub down. The supper is generally toast, gruel, port wine and entrants, or boiled eggs and tea. At g p. m. go to bed and sleep, with my trainer in the same room.
 You can't imagine" the bruiser add 'ed, "the torments man goes through in fitting himself for a fight, but neither can you have any idea of the glorious feeling man has when he gets himself in condition. It is impossible to get a game man into bad humor when he is in such condition. He feels frisl1y and coit-hke, and wants to kick up his heols or throw out his fist and hit man, and have good time"
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
MeteOric Stones.

The meteorites in the British Museum are arranged thus: l, aerolites, which are rocky masses composed principally of silicates with isolated particles of nick
 eliterous iron and troilite interspersed ; 2, aerosiderites or siderites, masses of native iron containing phosphides oi nickel and iron, troiiite and occasionally carbon siderohtes, which partaize of the character of both aerolites and siderites, being porous or spongy masses of nick eliferous iron with silieates in the cayi- ties. Of these three classes tie first is the ccmmonest, the humber of specimens possessed by the museum be- ing 211, the largest of which weighs 13l pounds. Oi sideritos there are 114 spec imens in the collection. the largest weighing over three anda half tons and of siderolites there aretwelve specimens, the weight of the largest being nearly sixteen pounds. In l66i, Paolo Maria Terzago, an Italian physicist, sulmised that aerolites might be of selenie origin. Olbers, in 1795, without any knowledge of this conjecture. investigated the amount of the initial tang eltial force that would be requisite to bring to the earth masses projected from the moon. Laplaee, Blot, Brandes and Poisson also took up the problem. Oibers, Brandes and Chladni decided against the view of selenic origin; but Laplace seems to have inclined somewhat to that hypoth- esis. It was then believed that active volcanoes existed in the moon but that idea has been abandoned and the lunar aerolites with it. At the present time a number of eminent men who have stud jed the subject of meteorites, think that they must have been ejected from volca- noes on some celestial body, probably the earth at Q remote period of its phys ical history, This may be the true the ory, but facts arc wanted to confirm it, and until those are discovered it is not safe 10 pass luqgmenu. IsnstsyS.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
A Solid Bank.

Speaking of stock matter, says New York letter-writer, it may be noticed that Chemical Bank shares have reached $1, ,7S0, this being the highest quotations of any banking house in the world. When one considers that the original price of these shares was $1G0; the pres ent figures show very handsome ad- vance. Sixty years have elapsed since John Mason originated the scheme of manufacturing chemicals and was deep ly disappointed when it proved failure. The experiment sunk $100, coo, which in those days was equal to $1, ,CG0, 900 at the present time. An apparent misfort- une, however, often proves q real bene= ft, as was the case in this unsuccessful enterprise. The latter had a banking privilege which Mason determined to turn to account. He abandoned the chemical scheme, but continued tue banking privilege. The capital was only $500, 900, but under good management ll has accumulated a surplus of $4,000,- 600, wnsssh is actively at work. The re- suit is aisiosads of 25 per cent. per qnatter and the present. astonishing quo tafioaz. John Ma<ou Nas. the dry y-goods colossus of his d45s. md left large fort une His nephew; John e. Jones. saz Presid5rt of tho Chemical Bank fof forty yeas He died not 1o1e aeo in $ good old age, leaving m esfs.zs woath $2, GOO, 600, most Of which Ind been made by buying business paper, n which he was an expert. Joncs G4x Chemical shares reach q, 500, which some considered the extreme of their possible valuation. There are, however, no more to be had even at the last quo tations. and it is now probable that they will reach $2,000.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
M1oAEEIEIh0h II

tality, premature incline and loss of manhood, from whatever cause produced. It enriches and purifes the blood, strengthens the nerves, brain, muscles, digestion, reproductive organs, and physical and mental faculties. It stops any unnatural debilitating drain upon the sys- tenn, preventing involuntary losses, facilitating dreams, seminal losses with the urine, etc., so destructive to mind and body. It is a sure eliminator of all kidney and bladder com plaints. It contains no injurious ingredients. To those suffering from the evil effects of youth ful indsoretions or excesses, 8 speedy, thor ough and permanent cure is guaranteed. Price, S2 50 per bottle, or five bottles in case, with full directions and advice, s1O. Sent secure from observation to any address upon receipt of price, or c. 0. D. To be had only of
 Dr. q. O. SalfTeIG. PIG NeaPny St.. San Francisco, Cal. Consultations strictly confidential, by letter, or at office, FREE For the convenience of patients and in order to insure perfect secrecy, I have adopted a pri- vate address under which all packages are for warded.
 Trial Bottle Free.
 NOTICE.-I will send trial bottle of the Rejuvenator- to show its merit free of charge, to any one afflicted, applying by letter, stating his symptoms and age. Com municatons strictly confidential.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

"WHAT," asked the teacher, "was tfe greatest obstacle Washington en- eountered in crossing the Delaware r. And the smart bad boy thought for a minute, and then made answer. "The toll-man."
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

A YoJE4 lady once Iinted to gentle man that her tbimb.e was worn cut, and asked w!lat rewacd she merised for her industry. He sent her an a11sv CT i'll the shape ot tAimble, OF which the follow ing lines were ensravsl:
 send ycu a t1ilubls. for Gasers nimbe,
 Winch h pc -sil IL V ho.s Tuu try it;
 It will est yIu long, if it's half as strong As the hint which gave ne to buj it.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
OUR YOUNG FOLKS.
OIIie's Dreams,

 Our Ollie went to his bed With tears just back of his eyes, And pain, because, as his sister said, He overly fond of pies" He dreamed the dreadfullest dreams As dreadful as they could be; For big, big piece of pie, it seems, Is a bad, bad thing for tea. He dreamed of terrible snow That fell from an inky sky, And every flake that the winds did blow Was big pumpkin pie All in a heap twas laid, While the rude winds laughed in glee, But oh, the deep, deep drift that it made Was sad, sad thing to see Then he thought the summer was dead. And winter would always stay; That ali iceberg ledge was his only bed, And glacier his home by day. And the suu, too lata he rose, And he went to bed too soon, And long, long ioicle hung from the nose Of the cold, cold man-in-the-moon. He turned to his sister: oh, How lonely and sad he felt When he found she wBa made of ice and snow Which hug would be sure to melt Just think of the dreams he had, Az dreadful as dreams could bel On, big, big piece of pie is bad For a small, small boy at tea -SL Nicholas.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW, ROOMS 2 and 4, Epitaph Building, Fremont street. Tombstone, A. T. Will practice in all the courts of the Territory, and attend to business before the Department at Washington, D. C. Special attention given to U. s. patent and ,,anaion huainegg
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

LIKE a brass band for the deaf-A Vermont man has wiIled his picture gallery to blind asylum. The patients are supposed to be the only par5ons who can really appreciate the collec- tion.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
Dr. Gillingham,

DR. eiIIIEcBAM (LArE or VIRGINIA o1TY) IS now associated, in the practice of Medicine and Surgery, with Dr. Gildersleeve. Office, Rpitaph building, Tombstone, A. T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

Po11rENEss costs nothing, and that is one reason why so many people bestow nothing else on their chance acF'raiffss 2nccs.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

CIVIL ENGINEER AND DEPUTY U. s. MINERAL Surveyor, Tombstone, A. T. Office on Ere mont street. between Sixth and Seventh.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

GRACIOUS wife, said 8 father, as he looked ct his son Williams torn trousers. get that little bill reseated." And she replied, "So I will"
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

POLITICIANS ought 10 make good tele- grarh-repair men. They are used te pulling wires.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
F. P. Voisard

ATToREEY AT LAW. OFFICE IN WICKER 8 building, 43l Fremont street, Tombstone, A T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

A TRULY great and noble mind is al- ways humble in its feeling and modest in it's department.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
CcmIn nerciaI Ageuts.

It is estimated that there are 240, GOO commercial travellers in the United States. Each is supposed to go over his route five times a year, and to carry dur ing that time ton of baggage. This baggage being generally bulky, 1t would require q, 000 ten ton cars to transport the trunks and outfits of these mobil.zed gentlemen. Tho eonlmerci&itr traveller Is, therefore, factor in the transportation problem as well as tie strictly con- mercial transactions of the country.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
". A. EarWood,
T. J. Drum,

NOTARY PUBLIC, CORNER FOURTH AND ERE mont streets, Tombstone A. T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
J. w. Stump,

ATTORNEY AT LAW, 11s FOURTH STREET, TOM stone, Arizona.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
Dr. F. Heller,

suRGEoSASD PHYSICIAN. OFFICE ON FIT trses. below Allen, Tombstone, A. T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

This great strength
 ming remedy and ierve tonic is the legit- mate result of over 20 Iears' of practical ex- }erience, and cures with unfailing certain y nervous and physi- al debility, seminal weakness, spermator- 'h9a, emissions, inn potency, exhausted vi
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
Charles AckIey,

AssAYER AND NOTARY PUBLIC, ALLEN STREET, Tombstone, A. T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

ATTORNEY AT LAW, FREMONT STREET, BETWEEN Fourth and Fifth, Tombstone, A. T. Will practice in all courts. Agent for mining prop erty. Conyeysncing and collecting promptly attended to- References given
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
J. V. vickers,
A. G. Lowery,

REAL ESTATE AGENT, AUcrioNFER, CONVEY aneer and Mining Operator, Fremont street, near Fifth, Tombstone, A. T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
Jns. G. Howard,

Q.ate of Los Angeles.l ATTORNEY AT LAW. AT PRESENT AT THE oF- fee of J. w. Stump Tombstone, A. Y.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

ATTORNEY AT LAW, CLIFTON, A. T. PROMPT attention given to any business entrusted to my cara.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
pR. B. \. MATTHEWS,

PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, TOMBSTONE, ARIRzo- na Office with W. Street, Fourth street, near Allen
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
John Roman,
Webb Street,

ArroRNHT AT LAW, TUCSON, ARIZONA.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
MILTON B. cLAP?,

NOTARY PUBLIC, CoNvEYANCER
 AND FIRE INSURANCE AGENTS. Office at Stafford, Hudson & Co.'S Bank, Tombstone, A. T.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
.vENEY. O. Q. IT
 O'HELVENY 6 TRANTUN,
s. M. AsnENEELIER.

ATTORNEYS AT LAW. ROOMS 3 AND GIRDi building, cor1er Fourth and Fremont streets Tombstone, A. Y.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

STRIVE for the best, and provide aeains. the worst.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
F. N. SMITH. w. EARL. G. W. sPAULDING.
 Earl. Smith G Spau.ding,

ATTORNEYS AND coUSsELoRs AT LAW. OFFICE in Drake's block Pennington street, Tucson, Arizona Territory.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19
P. I. COLBY.
A. ]. FILTER,

JUSTICE OF THE PEAcE, NOTARY PgRLIc AND Real Estate Agent. Office On Fremont street,
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-08-19

"Taa wolf chaslges its l,;sir every year, but ranaainiag wolf, z says n Russian proveff. Nothing very re- maEkable about that 4 woman some times changes her hair IS cssssn as two or three times a day, and still roiilsisls . woman. Let the Russians switch of Jos something wor5h mentioning when they want to compose proverbs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1882-08-10
SparT'ing for Health.

In an article in KnOwledgc, Chow to
Get Strong" the writer recommends
sparring as an excellent form of eXer-
else for strengthening the chest. He
saws:
Not day should be allowed to pass
without exercise by which-at least
three times each day-every air-cell of
the lungs has been filed to its utmost
capacity. Once, at least, each day this
should be done by active exertion, such
as sharp, but not distressing, run,
increasing gradually until two or threa
hundred yards are covered at full speed.
or from half a mile to mile at a steady
swing. But any run long enough to set
the lung bellows actively at work will
suffice for this purpose. Instead of run
ming, however, some may prefer spar
ring. This is capital exercise for the
chest. and is good also for the arms and
shoulders. A live opponent is not
needed-in fact, is not desirable: for
where there is one the exercise is apt to
be continued too long and repeated
only intermittently, whereas it should
be carried on daily, and for a limited
time only. A calf-skin bag, fourteen or
fifteen inches in diameter, hung by a
STOUT cpIu 1EOLu Inc CcliiilS III inoTt IL u
beam to it, or from cord stretched
between two high nails on opposite sides
of the room), will make a capital dumb
boxer. The bag should hang at about
the height of the chin, so that its highest
part is opposite the eyes and its lowest
part opposite the chest. Pound away at
this as if it were the head and shoulders
of a living opponent. Hit out from the
shoulder so that it flies up to the ceiling;
catch it ga good one" as it flies back
toward you; advance step, and hit it
so that at the next rebound it flies over
your head; spring sharply round, and
meet it on that side; hit it upward till
the cord loops; hit it round arm, so that
if you are not quick enough it catches
You on the back of the head. In five
minutes time (Which, later, you may
extend to ten,) you will be putting and
painting like the conventional grampus.
You can then rest, or turn to some other
less active exercise.