Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1882-03-08
THE RECORD.
Il -.1os'i' n
A Partial List Of the Known
Crimes Perpetrated in "Hell
Bend" During the Past
Two Decades.

| 4WO 00CdQ0S.
Isn't It About Time a Little Even
Handed Justice Was Melted Out to
This Gang Of Barbariamss
In view of the fact that for the
last sixteen or eighteen years the de-
cent people of Union county have,
at regularly recurring intervals OF
but short period of time each,
been shocked and Mortified by the
preparation of some outrageous
crime in that portion of the county
commonly known as "Hell Bend" }"
and which is generally supposed TO
start at the school section a few
miles below Elk Point, and extend
to the intersection Of the Missouri
and Sioux rivers, we have collated a
brief review of the criminal record
of this villainous section.
Not only have the feelings of the
law-ahiding citizens of the county
been touched by the scoundrelism
of the hordes of unkempt and un-
hung wretches who make the tim
Der contained within the before
mentioned boundaries their stamp
ing ground and breeding place, but
their pockets have also been materi-
ally affected, as the records of the
Justice and District courts of the
county plainly show; and although
they have been compelled to pay
thousands of dollars in costs, they
have never yet had the satisfaction
of seeing a single one of the NANCY
crowd Of Hell Benders" adequately
punished for his misdeeds. And
now they are becoming sick of the
farce; although, in the interests
of humanity it might be well to al
low these Internal timbcr-lice to 90
on knitting, and pistoling, and shot
cunning each other, reputable peo-
pie are tired of paying fabulous
prices for the ammunition expended
in the good work. And if hanging
is the only medicine that will aid in
civilizing the pestiferous brood of
beasts in semi-human form, then
hanging let it be-wholesale if nee
essary.
The region spoken of has horne
the name Of "Hell Bend" with some
variations, such as Devils Pocket"
Hog-Thiefs Delight" and Others
not fit for ears polite, for eighteen
years. Jim Somers, the notorious
desperate, killed up river a year Or
two ago, was the original founder of
the community; and tradition says
that he ''throwcd" his first "meat''
there in 1861, whereupon his admir-
ing constituents rose as one man,
cheering loudly and smelling louder,
and elected him as q member of the
first territorial legislature. jim,
however, soon descended from the
wave Of popularity which carried
him to the forum, and, bidding fare
well to his enthusiastic and hog
stealing partizans. gathered up his
lousy blankets and bag-full of how
itzers, and departed for the upper
country where he spent his time
raping squaws and shooting sherifis
until his own nephew finally blew
his black soul over the Styx, SO full
of bullet-holes that the devil un-
doubtedly uses it as birthstone
sieve. So fell the founder of "Hell
Bendl" But to this day it is said
that whenever an inhabitant of that
delectablc region wishes to drum up
''inspiration" for the removal" Of
some Objectionable neighbor, he con-
centratcs his alleged mind on the
repetition of the following stanza:
Oh, for the touch ofa vanished hand,
For the sound OF d voice that ie still;
Remember Jim Somcrs' "grit" and "sand"
And cock yer knife home Tor to KILL
However, Jim's departure didn't
signify much. He left plenty Of
apt pupils behind, who, figuratiyely
speaking, stepped into his shoes,
and literally speaking, kept the
pale air streaked with gore. For a
year or two succeeding this epoch
no corpses were delivered at the
graveyard started by Jim, but the
monotony was kept from becoming
too great by an occasional shooting
match, rape case or bastardy suit, to
say nothing of slathers Of gouged
eyes, chewed noses and common
thumpings. During this era of good
feeling, as it were (by comparison
with subsequent proceedings) occur
red the historic incident in the life
pilgrimage Of G. Washington Kel-
logg, when he WINS surrouaded by a
gang of thugs, taken 70 the woods
and with a rope around his neck,
compelled to open his eating aper-
ture and squawk Justify for Abra-
ham lincoln. Had he refused, no
doubt but that the cottonwood trees
Of Hell Bend" would have imme-
Ssa falls, hor,1o %wr.1orrrI Er,.sk 1,,c$