Connecticut western news., 1882-10-04
THE LIME.KILN CLUB.
A FEW OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE AS THE
 PRESIDENT WOULD HAVE IT.
IFrom the Detroit Free Press.l

A
 PRESIDENT WOULD HAVE IT.
 From the Detroit Free Press.]
 eff I had chance to lib my life over agin," said the President as solemn hush fell upon the meeting, "I should chalk down sartin fngs dat should 'spect to come to pass, an I should chalk down some odder sartin' fings dat I shouldn't reckon on onless a cyclone got loose an tore down de fences. I should look fur
 "De man who eats onions to stop an argy wid ebery man he meets gwine down town.
 "I should 'spect men who owed de moas' an war de least able to pay to war de bes' clothes an have de moas' change when 8 circus comes along.
 CT should 'spect my naybur to empty his ashes on de spot moas' convenient to himself widout any reference as to wheeler de spot was on my land or his.
 "I should 'spect dat broadcloth an silk would be worn on de street by people who fill up on cold 'taters at home.
 "I should 'spect de enmity of men whom I did not lend to, an be beat by nine outer ten of sich as favored.
 "I should 'spect to be looked upon as fanatic by men belongin' to different church from mine, an to be abused an called 8 fool by men votin' de opposite political ticket.
 "I should 'spect about so much bad weather-about so much sickness about so many pains an aches, an hungry days an lonely nights, an knowin' de world as I know it now, should 'spect de boats to run, an dc trains to go out, an de stores to oper wheeler I was in bed wid de ager ol ober in de cabbage lot in de bes' O. health.
 "As fur de fngs I shouldn't look fur 1 dey am almoas' too numerous to men shun.
 CT shouldn't look fur laborin' ma1 workin' fur ten shillin's day to permi his whisky to cost mo- dan his flour.
 CT shouldn't look fur girl airnin fo' dollars week to dress like bank CTS wife nor put on de agony of prin cess.
 CT shouldn't look fur my naybur tt sweat his collar drivin' COWS outer my garden, any mo- dan he would expec me to bust my suspenders keepin' d, boys away from his harvest apples.
 "I shouldn't look fur my chill'en tt come up widout faults, nor my fam'l. to. lib widout bein' hit by malice O wounded by gossip.
 "I shouldn't look for any mo room in de street kyar dan l paid fur, nor better suit of clothes dan my sarcum stances permitted.
 "I shouldn't look for any mans wort or promise to stan good onless he wa sartin dat he would be de gainer b, maxim em so. It am now time to pro ceed wid de business which has rein stated us togeder, an de triangle vii now be stricken in due form an a col leckshun taken up to defray the ex penses of obsarvin' de transit of Venu from de northwest co'ner of de City Hall Market"
 The Treasurer passed the hat in hi most agreeable manner, but the result as it was returned to the desk, panne, | kx10 in, nd hi sum was probably dropped in by acci dent.
 s'Gem'len," said the President as h arose, eff any of you obsarve de transi of Venus you will have to do it at you own expense. Ize @ bit sorry dat di club has giben science sich cold shoul der, but when de struggle am betwee science an woolen undershirts fur 'proachin' winter science can't 'spect t come in ahead"
 Sir Isaac Walpole desired to ask, be fore proceeding further, if the Presider referred to him as the neighbor not @ pected to sweat his collar driving COW out of the Presidents garden? I'll President replied that nothing was ful ther from his thoughts. Indeed, he ha known Sir Isaac to arise at midnlgl , and drive COWS out of brickyard fc , fear of damage. They had lived neigl bors for thirteen long years, and he WI glad to remark that Mrs Walpole nevt yet returned a tub with hoop or handle gone, and that Sir Isaac alway 7 had gilt edged butter and Java coffee lend.