davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

One Of the very funniest stories ever
heard comes from the log Of the ship
Gladstone, says the Sydney Mail. Down
in the roaring forties q seaman fell over
board. and went down into the deep green
gulf without the faintest possible hope Of
coming on board again. 1t is not an easy
thing TO and man, even IL he does keep
ahoat, when deep calls unto deep, and
the big sea-mountains skip like young
lambs in those attitudes But as this man
rose after tho FIRST header, right along
side he beheld an albatross. and around
that albatToss' neck he folded an arm, and
doubtless with the other hand made a snTe
grip Of tho wicked booked bill, and with
muck tapping aud foundering. and
doubtless strange conversation between
man and bird, he held on till the boat
WAS down and lifted him in. What tale
the slhatross teld 10 his fellows that even
ing is 10 ms unknown. bet If any records
he kept in the albatross world. little
doubt there will he found set down q REQ
ord OF new marine monster more mnr-
ve'ous than tha mightiest sea- a-EnAke the
most ancient mariner Of the human raes
has beheld even IN his drssmA
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
Yes, sir, we tumble"
A MOUNTAINS FALL.

Buffalo mountain, running north aud
south, ends abruptly five miles Sc nth
east of johnson City, Washington coun-
ty, Tenn. Immediately on the end OF
this mountain, several hundred feet above
the surrounding country, is a tremend-
ous massive rock, known as White Rcck
Summit" 1t is noted for its lofty height
and picturesque gandeur. In years gone
by the Rev. Harry Anderson, colored,
preached to the colored people Of the
neighborhood, who gathered there on the
Sabbath day. But white Rock" peak
is no more.
Gu recent morning a powerful crash
and fearful rumbling noise startled the
inhabitants Of the entire vicinity around
the terminus of the mountain, and many
of them ran III wild excitement. panic
stricken, crying and PRAYING as though
they were in the midst of an earthquake.
A glance toward where this lofty noun
tam of nature has stood unmoved and
apparently immovnble for centuries past,
proved it had sunk down into one huge
mass of earth. logs, and trees aud rocks.
The whole end of the mountain has melt
ed or rather slid of and the summit
around which the clouds loved to gather
of their own accord no more holds sloit,
toward the sky with its white capped
peak.
The people who lived in the country
around this fallen mountain were greatly
excited. The unlooked.for and strange
occurrence is supposed to have been
csnsed by the long ard almost incessant
rains that have descended N the country
/ for several weeks.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
WHY HE LEFT.

A Woodward avenue business man,
who had Advertised for coacbman bad
an application the oth,r day from man
who seemed to fill the bill exactly, but
the fact that he WAS out Of place caused
the citizen to ask;
"Were you discharged FROM your last
placer"
"oh, no, sir--I quit Of my own Ac-
cord"
Anything wrOpgT
"There WAS sir. The place was very
pleasant, the pay good. and came away
without hard word. But the gentleman
was u bit reckless, sir"
"How, recklees?"
"Why, he wouldn't be vaccinated, and
he insisted on coming to the barn every
day and exposing me to danger. spoke
to him several times about it, but he
seemed 20 obstinate aud rackless that 1
deemed it my duty to quit the job.
An sir, but no one knows how incor.
rigible some of these high-toned people
are They'd even lug q baby which had
the whooping cough right into the
coachman's bedroom, and then expect
him to buy his own medicines and do
bis whooping at night after everybody
was aaleep"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
TO FRISCO AND BACK.

Il came to give you the item OF my
arrival in town." said hairy man yes
terday. who wandered into the Boone.
rams Office, wearing an old.fashioned Sey-
more coat split down the back, and a
pair of low-necked pants, draped about
him and daintily secured in front with a
tenpenny nail.
II passed through your town last May,
and you noticed in your paper that I was
West bound passenger on the over
land train. have called to tell you that
I am on my way back"
Had q pleasant trip2"
swell, only partially 80. I enjoyed
the journey out to San Francisco very
much. Went out in section No. II of
Pullman, to take position as cashier in
Frisco bank, but when got there 1
found an old man holding the job who
had given perfect satisfaction for nine
years.
II hadn't the heart to take the place
from him, and the president seemed to
feel the same about it."
so you didn't get the job2"
"No, not very much. / couldn't get
confirmed by the Senate. The President
told me perhaps could get position as
Sergeant-at.Arms of hen ranch up the
gulch, but embezzled four dozen eggs
to take me to the circus, and while was
looking at the black-and-t tan boa constric.
tor, sheriff, or something o: that kind
came along and called me down.
81 am now returning to my native
town on my own recognizance, or on leg
bail as the vulgar herd would call it"
"Are you going by special carr"
mot exactly, I got chance to walk
part of the way, and from here to Omaha
l shall take the position of steer inspec.
tor extraordinary on a stock train. 1t il
quite change to go West in Pullman
and then work your passage home by
punching cattleat the station. However
l wanted you to say simply that ! passed
through on my way East to-day, and
will send the paper home. Make it a,
full OF glittering pomp and oriental scol
lops as possible, and will pay you fol
it, You see I'll get pretty near home
and I'll take bath and fix up a little
and come into town in pretty good shape
and all want is the aid and encourage
ment of the press, 60 you seem to grasl
my meaning?"
"Yes, sir, we tumble"
"All right. Just say that Mr.. yelling
ton Kersikes, passed East yesterday il
his special car, Boise City, having beei
on visit to the Pacific Coast. with viev
of purchasing the State of California fo
country seat. That is Gecomposec
lie, of course; but you just say how mucl
the strain on your conscience will be, ap'
will go down in my overalls and max
it all right"
That is why we have charged this arti
Gle at ten cents line on the company
, books.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

-Pleasures Of society: ooh, by the
way. dear, have you congratulated Lily
on her engagement" asked Miss Floun-
Ger of her friend. "Oh. yes. of course. I
went 'roupd to see her yesterday after
noon, told her she couldn't have done
better-and don't think she oould, the
horrid, homely thing"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

Said = sufferer frnm kidney trouble, when
asked to try Kidney Wort. "I'll try IL but
it will be my last dose" The man got we'll
an is now recommending the remedy to all.
When dersugement Of the stomach acts
upon the kidneys and liver bringing diseasa
lnd pain, Kidney Wort is the true remedy.
II removes the cause and cures the disease.
Liquid (Very eoncenirated) or dry sctequsl-
ly efficiently. CHltiuator.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
WELL-DoING.
BY JAMES H. HoADLEf.

w Ad4& SSAAN Sa
BY JAMES H. HoADLEf.
Think the good,
And not the clever;
Thoughts are seeds
That grow forever,
Bearing richest Trhits in lifs.
Such alone can make
The thinker
Strong to conquer in the strife.
Love the good,
And not the clever,
Noble meni
The world can never
Cease TO praise the good they've done.
They alone the true
Who gather
Harvest which their deeds have won.
Do the good,
And not the clever,
Fill thy life
With true endeavor,
Strive to be the noblest man.
Not what others do;
But rather
Do the very best you canl
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

A patent medicine ad. is headed,
"women Never Think" The married
man who believes this had better come
home sametime with his hat ON the wrong
side and his hair parted crosswise, and
tell his wife the sun made his head ache.
Patent medicine statements are unreli-
able.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

Personal item: ''Did ! uuderstand
you, sir. to say that Senator VOORHEES, is
In the habit OF skipping the light fantas-
tie?" "Oh, no; not at all. Ionly spoke
of him as the famous Dan, SIR"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

MA" said little boy. looking mp
from an illustrated paper. Il wish was
little South African boy" why.
Georgie2" ssked his ma. why cause
their mothers don't wear slippers" be
fselipRly replied.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

Hit the brll's-eye: Il tell you" said
the canvasssr, ''you have no idea of the
bard work there is ir this business. II ID
either talking or walking from morning
till night" Beg pardon" replied the
victim II have pretty distinct idea Of
the talking part OF your programme.
Nov please favor me with AN exhibition
Of the walking part" The oanvasser ex..
hibited
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
Erpsrisnce ths psrt Guido.

The reason why women everywhere use
ParkeT's Ginger Tonic is. because they have
learned by ezperience-ths best guide
that this excellent medicine oVercomes dee
pondency, periodical headache, indigestion,
pain in the back and kidnevs, and other
troubles Of the sex.-Homt Journal.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

Subscribe for the ADVOCATE, only 81
year.
Queer: II is little singular that q
crank cannot be turned in the right di-
rection.
The ice dealers little venture you
may talk about fine buildings, but its the
ice house that takes the cake"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

When would volunteer corps most
need cook7 When they have got a
range.
Leisure: THE fact 's," said Brown.
I've nothing to take up my mind"
Fogg suggested the point of Gambrie
needle,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
TEyapyille. Und.) Journal.l

Mr.. Frank S. Mueller, O25 W. franklin
street. cited 10 a journal reporter the case Of
Mr.. Henry Rehnicis, who for four years suf-
fered with rheumatism, which was cured by
the use Of two bottles of ST. Jacobs Oil.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

"A boomerang: II tell You the truth, I
assure you, said Brown, quite earnestly.
Would that your truth were equal to
your assurance" replied Fogg; ''then no.
body could doubt your word. .
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
DIAMOND
CATARRH
REMEDY,

a Positive Cure for Catarrh OF all
and Permanent In Result. Cures at any
that bones came from the nose.
DR.. Evory's Diamond CataPrh n em-
edy Is mid and easant, affording m m ediste
-tietand prunipt cure Ia all cases If satarFh,
IL. s.nuenEa. ERay Fever, Bronchitis.
lt VII remove Polypus and efectually cure
Walery and Purulent Discharges from the Head
and Throat, and Foetid. Sickenng Breath: per-
fectly restore impai ed Smell, Taste and Hearing;
relieve Headncle. Break up Colds in the Head;
strengthen The Voice and Eyes; Purify, Regulate
and Render clear and Active every Organ OF the
Head and Throat. Price, 90 cents.
DR.. EvOry's Diamond InvfgOratOr IL
a Perfect Hood purifler, Appetizer and
NorvS Ton1c. lt makes q delightful, whole
some dr Es, which InvigOrates Purtfies
and Strengthens the eniire system.
For Gene al ID bility, Dyspepsia, Bousness,
TORPID Liver. Indipes strn. Neuralgia and Rheu-
maiic Anections, JaWndice, Malaria, Fiatulency,
Nausea, Sick Headache aud Kidney Complaints,
It is invaluable. Price, so cents.
DIR. Evory's Diamond Salve Is a sover.
elm cure Ior burns. bruises. SORES OF all kinds,
Salt Rheum, Tetier, hinRworm aud Cutaneous
ETuptions. frtce, Is cents.
Ask your Druggist for th~ne remed-
les and take 10 otheri or Will be nent
Free ON receipt OF price. ......
De criptivc Pamphlets Free. l
Address Dr. Evory's Diamond Remedies Co.,
p. o. Box $500. Io4 John Street, New York.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
Sept. 14th, 1880,

Hor BIrrERs Co., TORONTO:
have been sick for the past six years,suf-
fering from dyspepsia and general weakness.
have used three bottles OF Hop Bitters,and
they have done wonders for me. am well
and able tn work, and eat and sleep we'll.
cannot say too much for Hop BItters.
Simon Robbins.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

"First cough carried me off.
And then coffin they carried me of INF"
This will not be your epitaph if you take
YOUR cough and DR.. R. v. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery" in time. It is specific
for weak lungs, splitting of blood, night
sweats, and the early stages Of consumption.
By all druggists.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
InV0ntOrS

ShAuld address EDISON BROS. Attorneys
At Law and Patent Solicitors. 6IT Tth STREET,
Washington. ID. o.. for circulars Oi ins rue
tion References and A.ivioe sent EREE. We
attend exslupively 10 Patent business Re-
Issues, InterfeTenees and oases rejected In
other hands . specially. Ira O-Msrks and
Oaveais solicited. Upon rereipt OF model or
sketch and description We give our opinion ~
10 patsntAbility, RRRE oy CHARGE. We refer
70 the I Commissioner Of Patents. also 10 ex-
OOU missionsrs. Established lSsS. N-ooS
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

Classical: Regarding the difficulty OF
writing in the vein of Sophoclss or
Aeschylus, it seems perfectly natural that
the attic can only be reached by the high
est flights.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

An effective medicine for kidneys diseases,
low fevers and nervous prostration and we'll
worthy of a trial, is Browns Iron Bittets.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04
Throat, Bronchial, and Lung Diseases

Ihroatl BronchlaI, and Lung UlseaSeS
a specially. Send two stamps for large
treatise giving sell treatment. Address
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
Buffalo, N. Y.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

Lord Byron, in reference TO beautiful
lady wrote to a Griend-"Lady - has been
dangerously i'll, now she is dangerously we'll
again." American bellies, when attacked by
any of the ills that flesh is heir to, may be
kept killing, and avoid being killed by taxi
ing DR.. R.V. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription"
which banishes feminine weaknesses, and
restores the bloom Of health. Sold by all
druggists.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

"A Troy lawyer asked woman on the
witness stand her age, and she promptly
replied. II sold milk for yor to drink
when baby, and haven't got my pay
yet"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1882-03-04

derstand how they could have overlook
ed this interesting scene. But slip had
been made somehow or other, and they
were about to withdraw and seek safety
In flight, when DR.. Felix saw that there
was no danger at all, for only solitary
Indian was in camp, though, of course,
there likely to be others within calf.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-01-05
Raising a Boy.

The Middletown Oel.) Transcript
saws: An old and valued subscriber
writes thus: "Can you give mo .direc-
tions how to raise boy?" Now you
seem to have us, but we are entirely
willing to tell you everything about
raising a boy that we know. In the
first place, it depends great deal upon
how late the boy you want to raise was
out the night before. It has been the
experience of men and women in all
ages in all walks of life, that boys ale
difficult to raise-before an hour after
sun up. If they retire late the task IS
all the more discouraging. Men who
have been eminently successful at 9TH
or undertakings, after trying every ar
tifice, from dinner horn to a club, have
given up in despair, and freely acknowl-
edge that boy is mighty hard thing
to raise. We have seen strong, able
bodied fathers stand at the bottom OF
the stairs and send volume OF dire
threats up the echoing hallway, but IN
most cases the boy remains unralsed.
We have heard the mellow, gentle voice
of the fond mother float out on the
morning air, like the food OF melody
from an E flat fish horn predicting that
the "breakfast table would be cleared
away" in five minutes by the town clock;
and yet the boy was not raised. 1t is a
fact that remains undisputed by the
careful thinkers of the day that the boy
is one of the most difficult products to
raise-in the morning-that mankind
is called upon to experiment. with.
You might raise your boy with nitro,
glycerine, but, while such a radical
measure would doubtless be eminently
successful, so far as the boy was con-
cerned, the fact of having raised the
bow would hardly compensate you for
time that would be required to put
things again in order about your premi-
seq.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-01-05

ratio Northern man to go South, TAX.
inc with him the economic methods Oh
Northern industries and applying them
10 Southern resources-and iail' ihe
chances of success in the South are "
hundred TO one, compared with those
of the North. The close, crowdins
competition of our Northern cities Is
wanting there. The tyrant monopoly
has gained no foot-hold upon the sunny
lands where the cotton and sugar'cane
crow. There man can find room 10
expand, and if his abilities are OF such
a nature as to carry him up IN tne
world. he does not find it necessary 10
mil others down in order to make
nloco for his own ascent-as one Is apt
10 do where men are more crowded,
more wealthy and more grasping. In
the South there is no such flerce strug
ole for existence, on the bloodthirsty
principle of the Survival OF the nj
test" as we are accustomed to IN iah,
kee.land. There are thousands OF
our young men in our Northern centres
of trade -capable men, eager, ampl,
tious, industrious, and full OF push ana
energy-who are uselessly grinding
their lives away beneath the millstones
of monopolistic oppression, and who'
If thew were to free themselves from
their present humiliating bondage
would rise naturally to the eminent
positions for which they are every way
fitted. To such unhappy slaves as these
we issue an emancipation proclamation.
The letters which bind you fast are iron
ones, it is true, but they are not locked:
All YOU have to do is to shake them on
and YOU are free. The South awaits
you with open arms. She has pros
perity in store for you on easy terms
She has lands of unequalled richness
to be cultivated; she has a thousand
staples to be manufactured; she has
unbounded mineral wealth to be mined
and milled she has banks to be devel-
oped, schools and colleges to be foster
ed: Transportation problems to be
worked out: she has industries without
number, some in embryo, some in In,
fancy, and she wants men to direct and
develop them. The reward for those
who 90 to answer this want will be q
magnificent one, easily gained, but
none the less substantial in character.
When Abraham Lincoln called for
colored volunteers to help solve the
problem of freedom, he met with a
generous response, and thousands OF
ex-slayes went forth upon battle fields
and fought boldly for the North, we re-
peat the call. On to Richmond, to
Atlanta, to New Orleans! You Will
meet q mighty host of arms, but they
will be arms opened wide in welcome,
and on peaceful battle fields you will be
able. without bloodshed or suffering,
to earn the liberty for which you are
striving so vainly in the business sham
bles of the North.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-01-05
Horace Greeley as a Printer Boy.

Here in Poultney the New York Tri-
hume was founded. Here its founder
washed the forms, and carried water.
and built the fires, and didn't sweep
ont the news rooms and didn't carry
out the ashes, and forgot what he was
sent after, and let the paste sour, and
lost the letters he was given to mail,
and upset the I've, and tried the usual
experiments with the fancy job type
and the finest colored izks in the way
of fearful and wonderful visiting cards,
and in all ways conducted himself even
as the devil always does about a
print shop. Here Greeley passed some
wears of his boyhOod. wander about
the village thinking about the good old
man. and trying to think Of the young
printers, busting out bis case with a
pair of leaky bellows, or soldering
for a big pickup that was the next to
the last fat thing on the hook, just IN
der a long take of solid nonpareil.-
Burlinton HaIckeye.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-01-05
A Social Fraud.

D.,,,a San, saws: A subscriber at
ioon writes to know if it would be
, r, for him to speak to a lady t4at
Pe has never been introduced 10. Ho
mo a he has met her on the. street, III
sly 10 Of business, and at parties ! Tor
Pla'e e,ao W. that he knows all her famll y,
tw9 S y,,a Inows his, and that she looks
a ain'o st as though she wished ne wo1l9
sneak. but he has never been ln'r %a ,en
to her. and daresn't SPEAK, NO you o
u W not speak to her. 1om may go
a n1ons meeting NEE her every day till Gapriel
h hIons his trump, and she may look az: as
Slo. ;,;a ni' % your sister, and yet tn
la a.l,n n,,t,,al acquaintance says Mf'
So-and.so, this is Miss go, So,an aocietv will
cannot speak to her without .s socie'S S St,l
saw Won are an impudent thing: QUE QUE
n nav J wish she knew you, and yet \. 5 you u.
a nnay to her she would feel 1t hef au1y
81 san;etv to say, "Sir!" and look great,
10 10 s oeanGed. and then you would be all
" onen un If she should drop her
ulo aet hook. and you should PICK IL up
and hand It to her, she woul Ia 'I hare
vou with smile, but,you woolu n ao7
y ~ r;sht to speak to her next time yot,
r no If she should meet you some
a ann ond saw "How do you do, Mr. 90,
ICY SnS have known you ever since 100
S 1nT have lived in this town. though we -
you you. nav msver introduced formally ana IL
h %e,o cot rot so embarrassing to pass y1u
half dozen times day wl. aO tIat nav
mo-. while 1 speak to those 1aav in nct
be- with you, that have conc aoae n HUe
10 wan ;t tUl . -" number six hat on would
saw "oh. nv, what Airt that ia Ia; o ,St
Sic actually spoke to man any, I1' nffar
being introduced" If you fTanhiy on n,,
her Sonr hand and say, THANK YOU ~
ner your for suspending the rule OF
etiquette in speaking. l have seen f Sce
=; % 90 I've Welcome sight as that OF my SIS ,,
tsr aS omd 7 have wanted to know you,
but had given up all idea tha1 ,,a ; vGot
would UuT Some simpering female hat h hold'
would say, "Only to think tna nal Mss Miss
s ~uuI man r has actually flirted with MISS a
s soland i $50 until he has got acquainMte a
without a formal introduction. nU,
vomne man, go right along aoouU t the
business and don't try to hurry snI
cattle, Society must be consnisG bt
though in some respects society may DC
a confounded fool.