davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
HUMOROUS.

'S. A. H. ST. Thomas.-1. A is
eighteen years Of age; IN the fall he
wants TO 20 to the fair; his father refus-
es to let INN, but he goes in spite of his
father: his father then orders him away.
Did his father do right in dismissing A,
he being farmer? 2. Can A get clothes
enough for himself until he is of age !?
3. Can AS father collect his wages? 4.
Can boy leave his father when he is
eighteen years old ? If so, can his father
collect his wages? a. A being eighteen
years old, would naturally wish to go to
the fair; if he didn't go at least once a
wear the other fellow would carry off
the girl. A father who would refuse to
let him visit his sweetheart deserves to
be looked upon with suspicion. co.
The young MAD can get clothes enough,
if he knows tailor who will trust him.
g His father can collect his wages if
anybody owes him any-this without
regard to his being father. a. If a
father is eighteen years old. q son is
justified in leaving him, because he
ought by that time to be able to take
care of himself.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
Consumption Crred.

An old physician, retired from practice,
having had placed in his hands by an
East India missionary the formula OF q
SIMPLE vegetable remedy for the speedy
and permanent cure Of Consumption,
Bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma and all throat
and Lung Affections, also positive and
radical cure for Nervous Debility and all
Nervous Complaints, after having tested
Its wonderful curative powers in thousands
of cases, has felt it his DUTY to make 1t
known to bis suffering fellows. Actuated
by this motive and desire to relieve hu-
man suffering, l will send free Of charge,
TO all who desire it, this recipe, In Ger
man, French or English, with full direc-
tons for preparing and using. Sent by
mail by addressing with stamp, naming
this paper, w. A. Noyes 149 Potcers 8
Block. Rochester. " Y.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
IN 2sIsSE
Remember This.

II you are sick Hop Brters viii surely AID Va
ture in making you vel when all else fails.
hyou are costive or dyspepJic, or are suffering
from any other Of the Numerous diseases Of the
stomach or bowels, ii : your own fault II you re-
main III, for Hop Bi;ters are sovereign remedy In
all such complaints
II you are wasting away with sny form OF Kid
ney disease, stop tempting Death this moplent,
and turn for a cure to Hop Bitters.
II you are sick with that terrible sickness, Ner-
yousness, you will find q "Bam in Gileadr IN the
use Of Hop Bitiers.
II you are freqgenter, or a resident OF MAS
matte district, oarricade your system against the
scourge Of all cOuntries-malarial, epidemic. bill
lous, and Intermittent feyers-by the use OF Hop
BtterS
If you have rough, pimply, or sallow skin, bad
breath, pains and aches, and feel miserable gen
orally, Hop Bifters viii give you fair skin, rich
blood, and sweetest breath, health, and comfort
In short they cure all Diseases of the stomach,
Bowels, Blood, Liver, Nerves, Kidneys, Bright'5
Disease. $500 Will be paid fOr case they VIII nos
cure or help.
That poor, bedr.ddrn, invalid wife, sister,
mother, or daughter, can be made the picture OF
health. by few bottles of Hop Bitters, costing
but irine- Whl you let them suffer-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

The edition for 1883 of the str Ring Med.
cal Annual. known as Hostetter's Alma.
mac, IS now ready, aud may be obtained
free OF cost, of druggists and general cpun
try dealers in all parts Of the United
States, Mexico, and iudeel In eve-y civil
fzed portion Of the Western HenisDbere.
T1ls Almanac has been issued regularly
at the commencement of every wear for
over one-ffth of a century. 1t combines.
with the soundest practical advice for the
preservation ana restoration OF health. a
large amount Of interesting and amusing
light reading, and the calendar, astrono-
micai calculations, chronological Items.
&c, are prepared with great care, and
VIII be found entirely accurate. The
issue of Ho'tetter's Alrlansc for 1888 will
probably BE- the largest edItion of a medi.
Cal work ever published in any country.
The proprietors, Messrs. Hostester &
Smith, Pittsburgh, Pa, on receipt of a
two cent stamp, will forward a copy by
mail to any person who cannot procure one
IN his nelghborhood
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
Vegetine.
POLICE TESTIMONY.
BOSTON, Nov. Is, 1875.

DOSAON, %Nof- ~ ASsS.
II. Il. STEyENs, ESQ:
Dear SIr-During the past FIVE years have had
ample opportunity to judge Of the merits of vEGE-
TINE My wife has used ii for complaints attend
ing lady Of delicate health, with more beneficial
results than anything else which she ever tried.
have giyenlt to my children under almost every
Circumstance attending large family, and always
with marked benefit have taken it myself with
such great benefit that cannot find words 10 ex-
press my unqualified appreciation Of its goodness.
While performing my duties as a Police Officer
in this city, il has been my lot TO fall m with
great deal of sickness | unhesitatingly recon-
mend vEGETISE, and never knew of a case where
il did not prove all that was claimed for H. Par
ticularly in cases of debilitated or Impoverished
state of the blood, its effects are really wonderful
and for all complaints arising from an impure
state OF the blood, it appears to work like charm
and do not believe there are any circumstances
under which VEGETINE can be used with injurious
results; ard it viii always aforf me pleasure to
give any further information ss TO what i Know
about YEGETISE
WILLIAM r. HILL, P-llce Station 4
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
Threw In One.


There is grocer In a certain small towu
in this State who has always been called
the stiDgiest man in Michigan, and many
stories are afoat about his Ureaklng crack
ers in two and taking out pinches of -four
to make exact weight. It-seems, however,
that he las been harshly Judged. 4 few
days ago be Lad lot of cranberries DIS
played at the door, and lady pedestrian
aa,ted and asked:
.AIe those fresh y
''Oh, yes"
''How much a quart Z"
Twenty cents, madam
That's ten cents for pint, five cents
for a glll, TWO and half for half a gill,
one and three"
DO you want quart %
''Oh, no. l was reading that corns
could be cured by binding on a split cram
berry. have two corns ard one berry
would answer for both. III give you a
cent for 4 single berry,"
Every weli-take It along. Hold on
Let's see-ler's see yes, l can DO it. III
throw in an extra berry, madam, and do
both up in parcel. am bound 20 please
my customers If don't make cent"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Among the creatures which attracted
Prof. HseckePs attention during recent
tour IN Ceylou WAS The great black scorpion
nearly foot long-which he found to
exist In such numbers that he collected
bali dozen specimens IN the course Of an
hour. Snakes were also noticed in great
abundance. Slender green snakes hung
from almoct every bougb, and at night the
great rat-snake hunted rats and mice over
the roofs OF the huts. Although these rat
snakes are harmless, Prof. Haeckel con-
siders il by no means pleasant surprise
when one of them, five feet long, sudden
Iy drops through hole in the roof into
one's room, perhaps alghtiDg on the bed
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Tie celebrated Gobelin Factory was
originally intended for dyeiDg. and Giles
and John GobelIn. the must noted dyers of
that time, were lie founders. Thee two
men appear TO have become famous by
reason Of their having introduced into
Pans celebrated scarlet. Their work.
shops were established on the banks Of
small stream called the Bievre, near to
Paris. Like many enterprises regarded by
the people of that time as eccentric, these
workshops received a nickname, and under
the appellation oil the 'Gobelin Folly"
they continued ull 1867, wnen the whole
property and plant were purchased BY the
King at the suggestion of Colbert. The
works were then converted into d royal
factory for al kinds of artistic articles OF
painting, such as sculpture. designing and
.speslry weaving. The era of the GobelIn
tapestries then began, and they rapidly &C.
quiIed deserved celebrity.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

MORAL with fable attached: A Young
alligator who Was travelling across the
country was suddenly seized in the Jaws
of an old crocodile, when he cried out:
LANDS alive but has it come to this
Why do you prey upon me ?" Because
am hungry" was the calm reply.
"But there is really no difference be-
tween us; we both belong to the same
family" Gan the more reason why l
should eat you. for you'll be sure to
agree with me. " muttered the old croc., ,
as he chewed him down. Moral: If at
first you don't succeed. try him again;
he'll finally lend you s. to get rid of
Won
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Orange IVme.-A writer describes his
experience II making orange wines from
the wild orange of Florida years ago. He
says that 1t cannot be surpassed for medi-
cal purposes, and sold when only eight
months old for s. per gallon. The oraa-
ges must be perfec. ly ripe. Peel them and
cut them in halves, crOsswisc of the cells;
squeeze into ICh. Tee press used must
be 80 c.use that the seeds cannot pass INTO
the must. Add two pounds Of white sag
ar to eacn gallon of sour orange JUICE, or
one pou-d TO each gallon OF the mixed
sugar and juice Ciose fermentation Is
Necessary. The resultant wine is amber
colored, and tastes like dry hook with the
orange aroma. Vinegar can be made from
the refuse, and extract from the peels.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

INDICATIONS of a cold Gay. 81 should
think you would be glad enough when
it comes night" said a New Haven
woman to her neighbor. "You have so
many children and they are so noisy,
You know" "My children are not
noisy, Td have yeu to know. That
long-legged. open-mouthed clothes-pin
of yours makes more noise IN five min-
utes than my whole seven do in week. :"
The truth-speakins soiree was ended
then and there, and when these women
meet it is Ike the dropping of mercury
in the thermometer, precdrsing. cold
dav,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Mensman's Peptonized beef tonic. the
only preparation of beef containing its en-
tire nutritious properties. 1t contains
blood-msking, force generating and life
sustaining properties; invaluable for indi-
gestion, dyspepsia. nervous prostration, and
all forms of general debility; also, In all
enfeebled conditions, whether the result Of
exhaustion, nervous prostrauon, overwork
or acute disease, particularly If resulting
fIom pulmonary complaints. Caswell.
Hazard s. Co, proprletors New Yorh.
Sold by all druggista
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

The manufacture of alcohol from pota-
toes by means of hydrochloric acid is car
ried on entirely 10 Germany, according to
Les Genie Civil, as follows: The potatoes
are introduced into apparatus in which
they are treated with steam at high pres
sure: then standardization Is effected with
bydrochlcrIc acid, and the excess OF acid
is neutralIzed with carbonate OF soda. The
cooled mass is submitted to fermentstIon
in vats, then distilled. When saturation
has been reached the residues may, wiEh-
out inconvenience, be employed as fool
for cattle
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

*+""Test mans profession by his prac-
tice. Physician heal thyself !" Pnysi--
cia1s not only heal themselves with Kid
ney- Wort, but prescribe it for others for
the worst cases of 5Iliousness and eonsti-
patton, as well as for kidney complaints,
If you feel out Of sorts and don't know
why, try package of Kidney Wort and
you will feel like new creature
sDr Millions of packages of the Dia-
mond Dyes have been sold without single
complaint. Everywhere they are the ia
Yorite DYES
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

FLOOD item: sis the levee system a
failure ?" read Miss Fitzjoy in the pa
per last evening. "Wel, L guess
Georgina Montrose thinks so. She has
held four levees this season and only
had nine guests to them all. Dear,
dear. How sorry am for her, and
she mentally took note of the fact that
levees were not taking" this year and
to have a soiree instead.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

CHAMPION Prohibitionist: Mr.. Brown
wants to punish the liquor drinker as
well as the liquor seller. Fogg says he
will go step beyond Mr.. Brown. He
wants the liquor itself punished and he
is wiling to punish all he can of 1t.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

MAcSHoDDEIGH' mistake: ''You have
a distinguished comnany here. remark
ed old MacShoddeigh, who was the
first to make his appearance at the
select supper given by his city friend.
distinguished the deucep said the
host; "they are the walters. Very few
of the guests have yet arrived" 1t was
a mistake that might be made at almost
auy select supper on the English plan.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

The breakfast we take in winter VIII
determine our efficiency for work IN the
day, and will so Influence cur whole being
for thst period OF tire that no aftermeal
can correct if. The breakfast IN winter
must contain more nItrogepous food than
in summer. it is absolutely needed You
must store heat TO furnish material for alb
sorptlcn and Tor maintaining vitality; add
to this nitTogeneus food something that
viii disengsge heat from the blood and
keep up temperature, and you may defy
the coldest day. Your face may feel it,
your hands may feel it, but your body will
be impervious TO 1t, and go on disengaging
that inward heat which can alone stand
against the lowered temperature without.
If this first meal has been properly atten-
ded tC we may presume that vital action
can be maintained in full force for five
hours al least before it needs repIenishing.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

\ CURIOUS smah boy: The natural
impoliteness of children is proverbial.
Little four-year-old had never been Wis
Wis with celored person until yester-
day. when he astonished the imam and
brother" by calling out, "Say, your face
is all black SIS it?' was the quick
reply. well, I'll wash it off to-mor-
row." The little fellow Is now apxlous
to See ''the man with his black washed
of"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

An unreasonable Judge: The Court.
austerely: Prisoner, how did you have
the audacity to break into this mans
house at midnight and rob him?" Pris-
oner dpiteously) "But your Honor, last
time was before you you wanted to
know how L could have the audacity to
rob man ON the highway at high noon.
When do you want me to get in my
rrorG
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

WEALTHY Iand-holder: 1t was ter
ribIy windy day. The dust was blowing
down the street and sitting into every
nook. Gus Sln2sadly was boasting to
friend of his real estate transactions.
Gus asked: DO Won own any real es-
tate ?" "You bet do, " said his friend;
1.-TWO or three acres of it - "But ITS
all in your eye," said Sirgsadly. as he
noticed his friend trying to dig the
dust out of his eyes with hs knuckles.
And IT was.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

A PAINTER was going TO elope with a
girl at the West End. But it took him
so long to climb the ladder to her win
dow that her father had time to go and
get policeman to arrest the marauder.
If you ever employ painter you'll be-
lieye this.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

An Arkansas court recently decided
In case Of assault and battery, that
while it was merely a breach of the
peace to call a man ''no account
whelp, 1t was rank felony TO call him a
"low-down cuss."
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

4 YOUNG rascal: "Charles, my boy, >
said Deacon Jones, ''of course / desire
you to esteem your cousin Grace, but it
is hardly meet that you should kiss her
quite so warmly" "Why, father r re-
piled the young rascal, ''to be true to
your instructions, I must insist upon
Grace before meet"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
Can't Get IL.

Diabetes, Br'ght's Disease, Kidney, Uri-
nary or Liver Complaints cannot be con-
trac,ed by you or your family If Hop Bit
ters are used, and If you already have any
of these diseases Hop Bitters is the only
medicine that will positively cure you.
Don't forget this, and don't get some puff
ed up stuff that will only harm you.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Imagine for a moment the thousands
upon Thousands of bottles of Carboline, the
deodorizsd petroleum hair remover, annu-
ally sold, and the fact that not single
compliant has been received from all these
Thousands, and you may have some idea
OF its good qualities.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Having been troubled with very had
Cough for about two years and having
tried almost every cough mixture that
was ever made, have found none that has
given me such grea: relief as DR.. Bulls
Cough Syrnp and earnestly recommend
it to all I'll cted. Benj. F. Duggsn, IA
Park Pace. New lcrk.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Hseems probable that the electric light
may be found very valuable in submarine
work, such as the examination of wrecks,
etc. In an apparatus devised for this
purpose by NJ Bszin powerful arc lamp
IS placed in cylinder closed by glass
plate at the bottom aud by a reflector ut
the top, and a circular space at least one
hundred feet in diaDeter is brilliantly IL
Illuminated. while the light reaches much
farther. The spectacle presented by sucn
submarine Illumination is said to be re-
merkably fine.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

THERE IS more money TO be made by
breeding and maturing fiuely-bred horses
for use than IN training and racing them.
We mean from the farmers standpoint,
He niust be alive to the progress of breed
ing, and procure the blood that tells, but
1t is not necessary that he should make ii
tel. When be inspires confidence in bis
stud, and can sell green youngsters at $500
or $500, he is on the high road TO wealth;
but when he undertakes TO win races he
goes IN the other direction. The race
track is IN the hands CT sporting men now
adays, and they laugh ct competition, even
from blue grass farmers.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
Rochester Policeman.

"GAINED EIGHT POUNDS IN THREE WEEKS. "
Mr. ii. X. STEVENS:
Dear SIr-Having used but three bottles Of your
NEGETISE IN a very bad case OF liver complaint,
nnd myself Improving rapidly; am weighing eight
POUNDS more at present than did when / began
taking II, and believe with continuance OF u
small quantity more I shall be entirely cured. Be-
fore began taking the NEGErISE was under the
doctors care; WAS sick q long time Nj smith,
who had received great benefit from taxing the
VEGEINE, advised me 10 try II. / can cheerfulIy
recommend II 10 everyone as 4 good medicine, as
the Negetine has done more for me than the doc
tors could do. JAS A. JOHNSON,
Police officer.
No. s2S Brown..stTeet, Rochester, y. Y,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

SEIZED the occasion: SO YOU would
not take me to be twenty?" said a
young lady to her partner while dancing
a polka one evening. "What would
you take me for, then q ''For better,
for worse" replied he, and he was ac-
cepted.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

a CONNECTICUT farmer, having worked
his horses for three years without shoes,
declares in favor Of leaving them of. He
says they work better, are more sure-foOt-
ed and far less liable to lameress than
she'd, and he is well satisfied that for ordi-
n,ry work bis horses feet as nature made
them are all-sufiiclent. The roads where
he lives are rough hilly and stony, but the
sole becomes so hard and callous as to be
non-sensitive TO small stones. and the anil
mails sre thus far less liable TO STUMBLE To
prevent tue hoOfs from chipping the toes
should be kept slightly rounded by a
coarse file.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
AGRICrLrURE.

ASuNBzR Of the leading farmers of Ly-
coming county. Pa, sre looking toward
the organization cf company having for
Its oDlect the Improvement If tsrm i've
stocE. This Is very wise step, and We
hope TO hear Of the successful organization
of the company. 4 company of farmers
with this object in view, properly organ
ized ard wisely directed, caDnOt fail TO
prove dir,ctly remunerative, not only 10
the stockholders, but 10 every live stock
owner in the coL.munit ty Ia which It con-
ducts It's operations. Individual effort is
not equal i1the task of making the uni
versal improvement in our farm stock
which the best interests of the farmers de-
mand, but there Is scarcely a township,
certainly net county III The country in
which there could not be formed COM
bination of enterprise and capital, drawn
entirely from the farmers, with strength
10 accomplish speedily this much TO be
desired end. To be able TO chronicle the
advent Of such an organization In every
county IN the land, would be to chronicle
long step in the real advancement Of
agricultural interests.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

CONDITION Of the rose market: "The
rose that all are praising is not the rose
for me-" In course not, deary. What
all are praising comes too high for any
body but millionaire.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

*'The same measure will not suit all
circumstances. But Kidney Wort suits
all cases Of liver, bowels and kidney dis
cases and their concomitants, piles, con-
s;iratlon, diabetes, ague, etc. Try 1t and
you Will say so too.
e" In the Diamond Dyes more coloring
Is given for ten cts. than in any l5 or 25-
cent dyes, and they give faster and more
brilliant colOrs.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20

Fun at dinner party: The youngest
gentleman Gt is hss first visit has bro
ken the ice at last by inquiriDg the
name of the hostess little daughter, to
which the child has replied Ethel" !"
"And why, Ethel, do you keep patting
me on the arm ?" Because mamma
says you're a muff" lawful pause, dur
ing which the child strokes him DOWN
-'.but you don't feel like one, you
know" Tableau: child complacent-
nobody else.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1882-12-20
AnsWer this

Can you find case Of Bright's Disease
of the Kidneys, Diabetes. Urinary or Liver
Complaints that is curable, that Hop Bit
tiers has not or cannot curel Ask your
neighbors If they can