davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
BuclsSkin Lager.

I find one more entry in my note
book taken at Worms. It is mysteri-
Gus. It is this: "Buckskin lager"
1t recalls the joke of the season on
the Cooks tourists. Several of the
party, eminent alike for virtue, wisdom,
piety and learning, lad devoutly wan
dered about the cathedral and traced
the paths the sacred and weighty foot
of Martin Luther himself had trod.
They had been so impressed with the
solemnity of the occasion that they be-
came thirsty. A door stood inyitingly
open near by, as if designed by the
shade of Luther on purpose for quench-
ing the thirst of wise men like himself.
who properly appreciated wine, women
and song. At least so it seemed to the
wise and weary tourists. The legend
over the door read thus: "Tuch and
Buxkin Lager" In point of fact, it was
tailor shop. But the wise followers
of Luther thought that Lager" must
necessarily mean beer. They were a
bit rusty in their German. They en-
tered in. They held up two fingers,
that mystic, Masonic signal recognized
the world over, wherever civilization
has planted its banners. They looked
knowingly at the young man inside, and
remarked simply: "Buckskin Lager"
Doyou catch on? The young man
didn't. He looked amazed, not to say
afraid, at these strange men from West
ern wilds. But at that moment some
of the wise men caught a glimpse of the
trilor's goose and shears Then they
caught glimmering. Did they stop
to explain? Ask them, if You are brave
enough. I wasn't. and there is not
much in this world that I Would not
dare.-E, A., i7a Cincinnati CONNER
cjnI
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
i pretty Mali:napsr. q. SORT q h.,.e..

81 !.
A pretty wallpaper. or sort of banG-
ing-basket is made of a common fa1.
not a so-called japanese fan. but one
that spreads Take out the wire that
holds the sticks together at the handle,
then spread the fan and fasten the two
outer sticks together: then wind piece
of wire around the sticks at the bottom,
tie ribbon over this, and make bow
with short end. The handle by which
the pocket is to hang is of ribbon also
of the same width and color as the
other, and is fastenedaat each sideof the
pocket with small bow.
One way to 3beautify baby carriage
and to make the young occupant appear
to an advantage, is to make a pillow
case for his pillow of blue silesia; to
this may be fastened on the upper side
a soft cover of darne1 net. with an edge
OF torehon. Fasten this to the silesia
with small bows of narrow blue ribbon.
Make each bow unlike the others This
can be placed on the pillow when the
baby IS to be taken out IN his bestLat
other times a plain white pillow-case
ended with Hamburg or torchon. is good
enough for the best of babies.
Those housekeepers-and there are
great many of them-who cannot afford
TO buy the cloth That is expressly made
for pillow-cases, and are obliged to use
common cotton cloth foI, this purpose,
may hear of something to then advant-
age when they read this: Always tear
off the selvage at each end, as it will
draw when sewn over and over"
When making the cases, haste the long
seam on the wrong side, then turn the
pillow-ease, leaving the basting-threads
in, of course, and haste down on the
right side; if this is done, and the seam
is then sewed, the pillow-cases will be
even, and there is no danger of one side
being longer than the other.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Bent Him.

Dan and Flasher were in the habit of
trying their wits on each other.
Once they were discussing the relative
merits of rifle VS.. bow and arrow.
Il can beat you even at short range"
said Flasher, boastingly.
"Try it." said Dan.
They tried. Dan discharged an ar.
row in pursuit of a hen that they saw in
a yard that they were passing, and
missed the hen.
Flasher, with shot of his rife, killed
the hen
There" he exclaimed, "T told you
that L could beat you"
"But I have beat yor,a cody said
Dan.
"How can that be? You missed the
hen, while killed her"
Still I have beat We, because you
must pay for the hen. You killed her"
Verdict fo@ Dan from referee.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

Guiana has returned from the conn
try. lam oyerjoyed; I have expatiated
at great length to her on the eheerless-
ness Of our silent house with its shroud-
ed furniture, of the monotonv of club
life, of how existence without her is
and SO forth. Oh, 1 have made myself
solid.
But am afraid she is beginning to
suspect me. perhaps I am trife
jaded.)
At breakfast the other morning she
spoke:
MY dear" said she, YOU never seem
to have any appetite for your breakfast
how. What Is the matte4?"
Nothing nothing at all, my DEAR
and vigorously attacked cold biscuit
and leathery omelet. HeA 1a8aus
AZ am afraid you have been spoiled for
plain home fare, " she said. a trife queru-
lousy. s s Il AZ A'4
mot so-you are wrong. Guiana. But.
now that you speak of it, wish you'd
see that the cook would make good
omelets. They are always bad, and they
are never alike. Now, if I have weak
ness, it is omelets. Will you see to it,
Zulana?p $50
She said she would. aes fav Is
"Ah, II continued, uleditatively. way
ing my fork in forgetful enthusiasm,
"ah, what onelets that cook at the club
does make! M-m-m-m-m-e citing! Deli
ciousi I do bethink me, Guiana, of
certain omelet an co7lttta1'e he con-
fected for me the other day. The dark
purple masses Of Jelly hidden within its
golden folds reminded me of the violet
bands of cloud through which the sun
descends over the Golden Gate!"
Guiana poured some cream into her
coffee with trembling hand.
Then there was another I went on
In gastronomic rapture, an omelet poem.
ltssubstratum was chicken livers, cooked
into savory stew; mingled with them
here and there were fresh green pep
pers. The whole wBs then incorporated
assimilated, so to speak-Fwith an
omelet. All mel when / think of the
bland little ivers struggling with the
fiery flavor of the peppers, the whole
pacified, as it were, by the omelet prop
er, | Gould weep, tulane, could"
Guiana arose 50 violently that the
toast rack trembled and fell over.
"f you do not like your own table,
she began in voice which she vainly
tried to fender steady, "yeu had better
go back to your old c-c-c-1ab!h
She founced out of the room.
What extraordinary creatures these
women are! I had said nothing what
gTer deFrsciatory of my own table.
Well, some women ans melting and
sweet, like omelet an co7aftatre; Soif3e
are fiery, like pepper omelets. like
both kinds-of omelets.-Sa91 Francis
co Argoroaatt. Z
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Rude fashionable Women:

By incidents like the one related be-
low Oscar Wilde iustifes his assertion
that American society is rude even to
boorishness: "In Saratoga, last summer,
I stopped at the State and Congress
Hall-two of the best hotels, which one
would suppose. would be patronized by
cultured people. Willie talking with
Judge Brady there crowd came around
us, mostly women, and, finding it a bore
to be thus stared at, moved on into
the office. There they came focking in
after us. [ went to the billiard-room,
but found no refuge there. The women
rushed there-ladies In silks and grapes
and laces, with diamonds in their ears,
bringing their daughters with them.
To balk the pursuit utterly, I fed to
the bar-room. Will you believe me
that they came therein ten minutes
fifty to 100 of them-flling up the place
almost? It seemed to me most-pain-
full and dreadful thing--th bold-faced
staring and half-audible. comment. It
seemed much worse than the conductof
abandoned women. Why didn't [ say,
'What'll you have, ladies?' Oh, it
wouldn't have. done any good, and ali
the country would have said + had in
suited the ladies at Saratoga"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Why He Don't Marry.


"0ld Bach" who writes to the New
York Sun, gives reason why he is not
married, which is a reason. az am" he
says, ."35, an old bachelor, they say;
and have been wanting wife these ten
years. Some Of my friends suggest that
! want to marry rich, and am too par.
tictilar Now do not object to riches
if other things are all right. But,
honor bright, if [ were to find woman
who would bring nobler thoughts, make
me a better man, think less of gossip
about her reighbors, and more about
her own home affairs, a woman we'll ed
ucated and not helpless, should like
to marry her, even if she did not own
"copper""
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Lawyers and Quotations.

Grave Judges, and others learned in
the law, have contributed their quota,
as in duty bound, to the common stock
of popular sayings. It is Francis
Bacon who speaks of matters that
"come home to mems business and
BOSOM" and who utters that solemn
warning to enamored Benedicts, "He
that hath wife and children hath given
hostage to fortune"
We have the high authority of the re-
nowned Sir Edward Coke for declaring
that Corporations have no souls" and
that A mans house is his CASTLE"
The expression "An accident of an
accident, lis borrowed from Lord Thur
low. "The greatest happiness of the
greatest number" occurs in Bentham,
but as an acknowledged translation
from the jurist Beccaria.
To Leviathan Hobbs we owe the sage
maxim, Words are wise mems count
ers, but the money of fools" It is John
S elden who suggests that by throwing
a straw into the air you may see the
way of the wind, and to his contempo-
rary Oxenstiern is due the discovery,
with how little wisdom the world is
governed" Macintosh first used the
phrase, GA wise and mastery in
activity"
"The schoolmaster is abroad is from
a speech by Lord Brougham. 1t does
not mean that the teacher is "abroad )"
in the sense of being absent, as many
seem to interpret the phrase, but that
he is abroad in the sense of being every
where at work
In the familiar phrase, "a delusion, a
mockery and snare" there is certain
biblical ring, which has sometimes led
to It's being quoted as from one or other
Of the Hebrew prophets; the words are,
IN fact, an extract from the judgment of
Lord Denman at the trial of O'ConnelI.
-ChGnlbeTs' Journal.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
A Popular German Name.

Few characteristics of the German
fatherland are more justly and eminent
ly calculated to astonish the intelligent
foreigner visiting that realm for the first
time than the inordinate prevalence Of
the patronymic Muller within its ethno-
logical boundaries. So striking is this
Teutonic speciality that French author
of no mean renown, having travelled
through the length and breadth of Ger
many, and being moved, on his return
home, to record his impressions de yoy-
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
The Glory of II Woman:

They do not cut off the hair of women
conyicts in the prisons, and they say
there would be tremendous row if
they attempted it. The matron of a
New York prison sevs that she never
saw woman who did not comb her
hair once day, and the Warden says
he has seen men who never comb
theirs but once month" 1t is added
that the 1ost-iniportant Articles about
a woman's cell, after her mirror, are the
comb and brush" and it is asserted that
physicians have given as their opinion
that to cut women's hair would increase
headaches end neuralgia among them,
and Subject them to colds in their
heads" -ProgreSs.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.
The Foolish Vow.

A pretty maid, quite unaware
OF her soft charms-her silken hair.
Her rosy cheeks and snow-white brow,
Uttered, in foolish haste, this vow:
Believe me-fr0m this very hour
| viii not pick or wear single flower;
The sparkling wine whose magic drips
In sweetness shall not meet my lips,
And--further still, far more than this
VIII not give or take kiss
o, queer capricious little maid
Twas not so easy done as said.
One day she felt different mood,
when just the opposite seemed good;
And so-'tis true-alack-a-
heard this very maiden say:
How Charming my new dress would be
II flowers adorned its drapery;
., | should melt in languors fine
ii I.might taste some fragrant wine;
And when my lover comes to prove
My heart, and proffers me his love,
l will not spurn the welcome bliss,
But he shall seal it with a kiss
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Julia Ward Howe.

The girl Julia Ward was studious
dreamer. She wrote verses in child
hood, and acquired French, italian and
German in early girlhood. AS a school
girl, she knew the wealth of Schiller
and Goethe, and even published a re-
view of Lamartines "Jocelyn," credit
able to any years. At 20 she was sub
lect to seasons of profound melancholy.
Her studies of German philosophy had
made her nti-Theistic; but the sudden
death of her father and brother drove
her passionate nature to the other ex-
IRENE. The hereto became devotee,
and for two years her only reading was
the Bible. At length copy of Guizot's
History of Civilization" fell into her
hands. It's perusal awakened her from
a dream of holiness to a life of useful
ness. She became liberal in politics
and religion. At % she married DIR.
Samuel G. Howe, whose heroic Iabors
for Greece in her struggle for indie
pendence, whose devotion to the blind,
and whose activity in the anti-s1ayery
crusades made him called @the
new Bayard." They went abroad.
In English court circles she was
petted and shone by the light of her
husbands fame, which the publication
of Dickens American Notes" had made
dear to English hearts. Her first child
was born in Rome, from which city she
returned to the less-romantic New En-
gland home. She continued her stud
les, taking up Swedenborg. A second
trip to Europe was made in 1850
From this time on her contributions to
American literature became frequent.
Her husband was publishing an anti
slavery paper, the Commonwealth, and
for it she wrote verses, editorials. let
ters, sketches In 1857 she published
"The Worlds Own" play which was
brought out at Wallack's-and failed.
In 1859, with her husband, she accom-
panied the dying Theodore Parker to
Cuba, and contributed to the atlantic
Monthly an account of the trip. It
contained more humor than anything
she had at that time written. It is i'm
possible to name her subsequent writ
ings, which have been legion, and have
been in the fields of philosophy, relig-
ious ethics and poetry, beside much
lighter work. Her account of trip
made in 1867 to the East to distribute
American supplies to destitute Cretons
shows her as an enthusiastic philanthro-
pist. 1t is well said of her that she has
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
A Change of Field.

An Illinois church is the latest victim
Of the uncertainties Of young woman's
mind. The uhufch educated the young
woman for foreign missionary work,
purchased her outfit, and hoped for the
conversion Of the heather under her
hainistratio1is. Now the young woman
changes her mind-her affections have
shifted, from the unconverted foreigner
to Chicago young man. and she has
determined to marry. Chicago is cers
tainly field enough for the most active
missionary spirit. -Millo0tkee Seaeti-
fleI ~
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

demonstrated in her life the wisdom Of
allowing women to learn tie alphabet.
OF late years she has written less than
formerly, but is active in all such move
ments as the Woman's Congress, Wom-
ans Peace Conference and woman's
suffrage reform.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

She stepped with 0 what stately grace,
And 0 how wonderfully fair,
With morning sunlight in her face
And midnight in her hair
scarce knew, when that face had flown,
Whether it was or only seemed
Whether J saw what l had known,
Or something 1 had dreamed
And down the dreary ward by night
Orr blessings followed her afar,
Like undulations Of the light
That tracks q fieeting star.
With footsteps soft as falling SHOWS,
And lighter than the summer air,
She passed the shadowy shapes Of those
Who died in her sweet care.
Q fate should I unto my own
Yet fold the face that on me beamed,
All shall ! find what have known,
Or have I only dreamed?
-ChGuncey HickOG,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Extracts from Prof. Swing.

10 the young men and Young women
of the day few laws of conduct can sur
pass In value this law of noble associa-
tions. Indeed, we may feel that that
young mind is secure from harm and
almost secure of success which has the
moral power and the will-power to seek
always the companionship of good per-
sons, and good books, and good amuse-
ments, and good everything When by
some means one has acquired a taste
for all that is superior, that PERSONS in
tellectual fortune is well fixed, for in
the wide field Of this world it will find
many flower from which to extract
honey. Even poverty can not close all
the gates of self-development, for ma
ture herself will become gallery, and
library, and a hall of music to the
mind which has once lighted its fame
of admiration. x The heart
once fully determined to see only things
beautiful and to hear and read only pure
language has half won the battle of
life. Gustavus II of Sweden
all through his youth desired to do
great and good things. 1t must
be said of Mr.. Longfellow that all
through his youth he sought and loved
the true, and the good, and the beauti-
full. He transformed, and idealized,
and exalted all that environed him, and
by the time he was 10 the world turned
into poetry under his feet and over his
head; and the poetry was not the raw
ings of a sibyl; nor the sighings of
I lONlT hI1f a ctr nf
losophy and beauty. All things became
a lesson of life, and thus the reader of
this poet sees the greatest side of hui
man nature, and feels on closing the
volume that man is indeed. child of
God. Many, measuring the
value to the age of these lofty writer's,
lament that the grave Is calling them
away more rapidly than this mercenary
period is preparing worthy successors.
1t appears that in a few years no great
poet will be living on earth. What VIII
literature and religion say or do in that
darkened day? The thoughts which
arise are two. The absence of a GER
tain form Of genius does not imply the
decline of an epoch, for the laws Of
such presence and absence are not full
" known. Great men come and go in
groups. A mystery hangs over these
-events like that which marked the COM
ing and going winds in the days of
Jesus: "Thou canst not tell me whence
it cometh nor whittier it goeth." So
we can not tell whence comes these
clusters Of statesmen, or orators, or
poets which appear at intervals to bless
society. They are liable to come and
go, and their absence for generation
does not imply the intellectual future
of an age. Suddenly back may come
these inspired ones, and more enthu-
siastic from their mysterious rest.
IT is proverbially hard to define
gentleman. Many standards exist, some
of them very curious. A gentleman of
Washington city, in describing friend
Of his recently, has perhaps added
another and useful definition to the list.
81
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

A HOTEL was burned down in New
York not long ago, and Texas editor
lost all his baggage. That was the rea-
son the papers said the loss was not as
large as was at first supposed. Terds
SJtingS.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

ENGRAvERs are finding it difficult to
procure good lockwood The box for
ests of Turkey, upon which the bulk of
the supply depends, are being waste
fully cut, and few new trees are planted.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

The latest book on etiquette saws that
people who are away from home should
never speak of being hungry. 1t would
also be impolite to pull sandwich out
of the coat-tail pocket and eat it in an
other mans parlor, Detroit Free
Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
Joe Jefferson.

Joe Jefferson Is a very careful actor,
always making the most of "a point"
Joe, in those days, was our second low
comedy actor, and was helping his faith
er to paint scenes. In both labors as
actor and scGne-painter he did not get
$1S per week. He makes more now.
Joe to-day is very wealthy; he gave his
daughter (who married Farjeon, the
author 100000 as wedding-gift. Joe
has paradise of palace ten miles
from New Iberia, La, with over 1000
acres of land under cultivation. 1t is
an asylum of a home. Oranges, grapes,
pears, peaches are in abundance; the
most lovely flowers are there; the great
est variety of fish are in the lake adj
joining the plantation He has choice
breeds of horses and cattle. He has
the handsomest imported pointers and
settlers 1 ever saw. His table is. sump-
+uous, and his liquors and wines are OF
the best. His son Charles resides at
the place, and there Jefferson passes
much of his time when not acting. He
has two lovely grandchildren, of whom
he is very fond. Wealth, taste and
health abound. .s
Joe went to Philadelphia with Bur
ton, and then went the rounds of the
United States. At length he got to
New York, where he made his hit as
CASA Trenchard," while with Miss
Laura Keene, In 1861 Joe, thinking he
had consumption of the Lungs, or that
he was predisposed to that disease, went
to California. After playing series Of
successful engagements in the Golden
State, he sailed and arrived at Mel
bourne, Australia. This was the turn
ing point of his life. Here he became
manager of theatre. Barry Sullivan
was his leading man and great favorite.
He and his company Travelled from city
to city through the continent of New
"Ticket of Leave Man" was a very re-
markable success; in fact. he created
profound impression in his character,
but he came near having a riot on the
first night, as the people thought that
the subject of the drama was refiec-
ton on the people of that part of the
world. They came to hiss but remained
to applaud. The drama ran for long
time, but at last it grew stale, and
something new had SO he put mp"
What was to be done? "I'll Try Rip
Van Wrinkle for week" said Joe. 1t
was played for week, and for a great
many weeks 1t proved a great success
Joe then went to England. He met
Owens, who had been playing for three
weeks his part of "Solon Single" 1t
was failure. Owens was acknOwl-
edged to be a fine actor, but the public
did not like the piece Ovens was dis
gusted and asked Jefferson to fill out
his time. This was agreed to and Owens
went to Paris on a pleasure trip.
Joe then set Boucicault at work to re-
write the drama. 1t was great sue
cess and made Jeffereon's fortune.-Dr.
Kane IN Chicago Herald
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06
An Arkansas Orphan.

"Can't yer help orphan in dis stab
lishment?" said an old colored man,
entering a store.
"An orphan?" .He ...
eyes sab" a.-
Chow old are you?"
"Seventy-fve, sab"
How long have you been an or
pban?"
"Since dis mornin'."
Odd your parents die this mornings"
"No sab, da died fifty years ago"
"Then how is it that you have only
been an orphan since this morning?"
Cease my wife died dis mOrnin'."
"The death of your wife doesn't make
you an orphan"
at don't? But I gets pension, don't
II"
mo"
"Wan, den, eff dats de case I'll go an
marry agin. Oars so many laws in dis
country dat it takes half a mans time
ter keep up wild 'em. "-Ark. TTdUeler.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-10-06

IT is proverbially hard to define
gentleman. Many standards exist, some
of them very curious. A gentleman of
Washington city, in describing friend
Of his recently, has perhaps added
another and useful definition to the list.
Yes" he said, Judge is very
much Of gentleman; he used to play
poker with JEFF. Davis"