Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1882-06-22
HALEY IDAHO, THURSDAY, JUNE %, 1882.

cold water, laundry, telegraph, restau-
rant, fire alarm, bar-room, billiard ta-
BILE, daily papers, coupe, sewing ma
chine, grand piano, and all other mod
ern conveniences in every room.
Meals every minute, if desired, and,
consequently, no second table. En-
glish, French and German dictiona-
ries furnished every guest, to make
up such bill of fare as he may de-
sire, without regard to the bill-affair
afterward at the office. Walters of
any nationality and color desired.
Every waiter furnished with libret-
to, button hole boquet, full dress
suits, ball tablets, and his hair parted
in the middle. Every guest will have
the best seat in the dining-hall and
the best waiter in the house. Any
guest not getting his paper red-hot,
experiencing delay of 16 seconds
after giving his order for dinner, will
please mention the fact at the office,
and the cooks and walters will be
blown from the mouth of cannon in
front Of the hotel at once. Children
will be welcomed with delight, and
are requested to bring hoop sticks
and hawkeys to bang the carved
rosewood furniture especially pro-
vided for that purpose, and peg tops
to spin on the velvet carpets; they
will be allowed to bang on the piano
at all hours, yell in the hall, slide
down the bannisters, fall down stairs,
carry away desert enough for small
family in their pockets at dinner,
and make themselves as disagreea-
BILE as the fondest mother can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms, and la
dies giving an order to "Put me on
fiatiron" will be put Oh one at any
hour of the day or night. A dis
Greet waiter, who belongs to the Ma
sons, Odd Fellows, Knights Of Pyth-
las, and who was never known to tell
the time of day, has been employed
to carry milk punches, and hot tod
dies to ladies rooms in the evening.
Every lady will be considered the
belle of the house. The office clerk
has been carefully selected to please
everybody, and can play draw poker,
match worsteds at the village store,
shake for the drinks at any hour of
the day or night, play billiards, good
waltzer, and can dance the German,
make fourth at euchre, amuse chill
dren, is a good judge of horses, as
railway and steamboat reference is
far superior to Appleton's or anybody
else's guide, will tlirt with any young
lady, and not mind being cut dead
when ''pa comes down. can room 40
people in the best room in the house
when the hotel is full, attend to the
annunciator, and answer questions
in Hebrew, Greek, Choctaw, Irish, or
any other polite language at the
same moment without turning
hair. Dogs allowed in any room in
the house, including the whine
room. The proprietor will always
be happy to hear that some other ho-
tel is 1.-The best in the country"
Special attention to parties who can
SlNO iAAOA iudVlOA 40 W uOW UuCSc
things are done in Ycwrup." The
livery connected with the establish
ment is complete in all it's details.
Our horses can all trot to the wire in
2:l5 and less. Pedigrees furnished,
carriages and vehicles with coat of
arms and heraldic devices of all de-
scriptions and to suit the most fas-
tidious. Footmen and drivers uni
formed and can converse on any sub
ject, classical education being
made condition of service. The
proprietor will take it as a personal
affront if any guest on leaving should
fail to dispute the bill, tell him he is
a swindler, the house a barn, the ta-
BILE wretched, the wines vile, and
that he, the guest, "was never so i'm
posed upon in his life, will never
stop there again, and means to warn
his friends"