Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1882-06-15

A shoddy mill bogus prize-febt
1t is impossible to cheat an Arab in a
horse trade; in other words YOU can't
gum Arabic that way.
A state commissioner of life-insur.
ance said "Receivership' but half
covers the case. We need new word
that shall signify both to receive and
devour."
eli! Hullo! Stop there" shouted
Sozzle, as he ran along the sidewalk
wildly gesticulating at loaded Herdic.
"That Herdic is full, SIR" said a by.
stander. "Wa' Oft" said the old GEN
tleman, sustaining himself with great
dignity and a lamp-post; "sho'm T."
The German FHege'sde B!aetter reports
the following conversation; "Who is
the gentleman escorting Miss Amelia?"
That's her fiance-cashier in bank
very rich splendid match" Indeed,
what may he be WORTH" "Well. that
can't be said now-don't know with
what omount he'll manage to get
away"
The ancient highwayman was stout ard brave,
And robbed the lonly traveller of his pelt;
The modern highwayman's sneaking knave,
VIII o tries to steal the great highway itself.
Scene-A ward in Scotch infrmary.
Lady visitor care they kind to you
here? ?" Patient (who is recovering from
his illness and is very hungry: "Na--
| never get hauf ma full" Lady visitor:
Indeed. Could you eat an egg"
Patient "Eat an egg Could a eat
twa? Mem, could eat the chap that
laid them p
A bevy of little children we're telling
their father what they got at school.
The eldest, Reading, spelling, and
definitions. "And what do you get,
my little one?" said the father to rosy.
checked little fellow, who was at that
time slyly driving tenpenny nail into
the door panel. "Me? OF gets readin',
spellin', and spankins."
The worthy doctor, like 80 many of
his profession, believed firmly that
each climateric period of mans life
is fraught with peculiar Danger: They
happened to be talking of man who
had jusr been guillotined. "What age
was he, eh?' broke in the doctor.
"Thirty.fve." 81 knew it. / told you
so. Every seventh year is a dangerous
year."
The Icras Christian advocate says that
thousands of good men are spoiled by
marrying the wrong woman. The wo-
man who marries thousands of good
men must be very wrong, and no won
der the good men are spoiled.
Gus de Brown, who has prolonged
his call considerably after 1916 p. M
$50 you don't admire men of conserva-
tive views like myself, Miss AngeI,"
Miss Angel, with vivacity-"No, in.
deed; prefer people who have some
90 in them" De Brown reaches for his
nat.
CHOW profoundly still and beautiful
is the night" she whispered, leaning
her finely-veined temple against his
coat collar, and fixing her dreamy eyes
on the far-otf Pleiades, "how soothing,
how restfulW "Yes," he replied, tow
ing with the golden aureola of her hair
"and what night to shoot cats"
A young man who thought he had
won the heart and now asked the hand
in marriage Of certain young widow
was asked by her, "What is the differ
ence between myself and Mr.. Baxter's
Durham cow?' He naturally REPLIED,
"Well, | don't know" Chen" said
the widow, you had better marry the
cow"
The crescent shape of tina first quar-
ter of the moon hung like an eccentric
lam in the western SKY, casting a sub.
dued, cool light upon the path they had
chosen. They walked with slow and
measured step, and said little. The
scene was rspture-inspiring. At last
she, looking up into his face, with
sort of scared-to- death- like. a-young-
fawn look, said "Albert, how many
walks like this we've taken" Eyes,
Roealind, we have taken great many
walks like this, and-and and" 80,
Albert, now DON'T" "Well, l won't.
seeing it's you," he replied. Another
case of swapping at the bate too soon.
We dislike to intimate that it is pos
sible for an editor to lie, but the state.
ment in Texas paper that an catfish
that weighed 40 pounds was caught in
the Brszos, jnstifies the apprehension
that if the editor is not careful he may
unknowingly learn to exaggerste, and
then he will drift into politics or the
pulpit. n is very difficult for catfish
to weigh 40 pounds. The catfish has
no scales.
A peasant from the agricultural re-
cesses of Long Island, while standing,
apparently in deep thought, ore wet
afternoon, at Il street crossing on pop
ular shopping thoroughfare in Brook
Ign, was accosted by friend with the
question:: what on earth are you
lounging around here for. Dick?" Dick
SHOOK the hand extended to him with
.ouJ turning his eyes from the crossing,
and said in a very matter:of-iact way:
"Well, you know Sal Sloane and Use
about to be married. Next Tuesdays
her birthday, and as Pm going to make
her a present Of some bran new stock
ings, thought I'd stan here bit TO
get notion of the latest styles"
DEaoREsrs MAGAZINE for July is GER
tainly the finest number ever issued of
this popular periodical. This interesting
L IL