The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1882-02-08
FLOATING FANOIES.

shoAAAA CIOS W u %
The farmers little girl looked up.
And why ~ she archly said;
Because in you Til always have
A little hoe maid bred"
All men have their imprudent days.
A man in Omaha is named Redheffer. His
father must have been a bully man.
81 don't like that cat. It's got splinters in
it's feet" was the excuse of a four-year-old
for throwing the kitten away.
He that cannot forgive another breaks the
bridge over which he must himself pass; for
every man has need to be forgiven.
mo. sir" said the Texas editor, Il don't
suppress the story about the Brown scandal
out of regard for Brown. do it out of re-
gard for myself. Brown can fight"
Husband and wife" says some sage per-
son, 'should no more struggle to get the last
word than they should struggle for the pos
session of a lighted bomb" They don't-the
wife gets it without a struggle.
A Norristown secondhand furniture dealer
has q toy said to have been made by George
Washington. This reminds us that a Phila-
delphia dealer IN brio, a brac has a soap bub.
BILE blown by George when nine years old.
"Please draw upon the blackboard an in.
terrogation point" said a teacher to one of
her pupils. "Can't make a good one," re-
piled the boy. 'Draw a boot buttoner,' said
the teacher, ''that will answer" The boy
took the crayon and drew a hair-pin. Sharp
rebuke by the teacher. Other pupils smile.
1t was just Cousin Jack, and so-what was the harm ?
We sat on the steps, for the evening was warm;
We spoke very softly, and-as to his arm,
1t was just Cousin Jack, and so-what was the harm ?
The scent of the hay-fields crept up from the farm,
We were quite in the dark, save the fire flies swarm
1t was just Cousin Jack, and so-what was the harm ?
A bird from the hedge, whrr1ng up, broke the charm;
He bent, as. / started in foolish alarm,
And-'twas just Cousin Jack, and so-what was the
harm
''There !" she exclaimed, thrusting the pa
per at him and pointing to q paragraph stat.
ing that the first thing the Marquis of Lorne
did on meeting his wife was to kiss her
'what do you think Of that /" "Poor fell
low !" multered the ill-natured husband Il
5uppOsC ~ 8 OuC " VIC pCuolIlCc u AOlulUR d
public position"
A lover who had gone West to make a
home for his ''birdie" wrote back: 1--WE
got the finest quarter section of land | ever
put nay foot down on" Birdie wrote back
Suppose you buy another quarter section,
John, so that you can have a lawn around
your foot" John made a home, but Birdie
never was the mistress Of it.
A bear undertook to break into the house
of a Wisconsin man one night when the man
was out. The mans wife heard the bear,
and, in the darkness, thought it was her hus-
band coming home late. When the bear got
away he didn't stop running until he'd gone
nine miles, and you couldn't coax him to 60
within a hundred miles of that woman now.
And yet it she'd known it was a bear, and
not her husband, she would probably have
tainted and been devoured, and the old man
is awful sorry it didn't happen that way.
Uncle Nose went into Levi schaumburg's
store TO buy a silk handkerchief, but was al
most paralJzed on learning the price. Levi
explained that the high price of silk goods
was caused by some disease among the silk
worms. "How much does yer ask fur dis
heah piece oh taper" asked the old man.
'Ten CENTS" was the reply. "Ten cents
Jewhllikins! So de tape has riz, tool sup
pose de cause OBJ dat am bekase dar's sumfn
de matter wild de tape-wums. Dis seems to
be gwine ter be a mighty tough year on de
wums, anyhow"
Behind her fan of downy fluff,
Sewed on soft saffron satin stuff,
With p acock feathers. purple-eyed,
Caught daintily on either side,
The gay coquette displays q puff;
Two b.ue eyes peep beneath the buff;
Two pinky pouting lips. enough!
That cough means surely come and hide
Behind her fan.
The barque Of Hope is trim and tough,
So ought / venture on the rough
Uncertain sea of grill h pride.
A breeze! Itack against the tide
Capture a k ss and catch a cuff
Behind her fan.
Lead Women and Seal skin baques.