Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1882-06-16
HUMOR.
-Musicsl Ma;ds,

Musical Maiden-"I hope lam moi
boring you, playing so muchs" Enam-
ored Youth-"Oh, no. Pray 70 onl ]
I'D 81 much sooner hear you play
thsa talk"
"My frens," said the officiating cler.
gymsn st the marriage o. two colored
persons near Cincinnati few SUNDAYS
ago, my frens, it am . serous ting to
get married, specially when bofe par
ties Is orphans an hsint got no psrients
to fall back on, rs am de present
case"
The Deseret Necs, the leading Nor
mon daily of Zion, makes its own paper
and Its own type. If We may be par
doned for pulling on old and intirm
joke out of It's bed and dragging il here
on est, We will say that the Ne,cs
manufactures its own lye.
A little boy, VIII lse parents are al
WAYS moving from one house to another
was asked by the Sunday school teacher.
Why did the lSraelites move out of
Egypt Because they couldn't paw
their rent, was the reply.
The American electrotypes of VII.
ham f. Gladstone look As though vii
ham had just put on pair of mis- last
summer pants and had neglected 10
remove the humble bee that roasted in
them during the winter. The expres.
sion on his face is one of extreme woe
and grieved surprise.
Just as girl was about 10 drown
herself at Athens, Ala, man caught
her. She struggled, but he held her
last. III give you ten minutes 10
think II over" he said, "and if you
then want 70 die Ill let you do it,"
When the time was up he released her
and she quietly went home.
Cook" Madame, may | ask Won
for my testimonials Mistress
do you expect me to write, you worth
less creature? Surely you can't expect
me TO say that l am satisfied with you!"
Cook-"lsn't necessary. Only write
that | remain with you three months.
That will be my best recommenda-
ton"
\ Texas paper tells of young lover
who playfuily threw y pebble at his
sweetheart and hurt the finger upon
which he had just placed the engage
ment ring. She tossed the pebble
back and Knocked out one of his front
teeth. A pebble down in Texas must
be about the size of y "dornick" or 4
rock"
A Washington dispatch SAYS that
had dream the other night.
and imagined he saw horrible figures
before him." Washington pie appears
to be. about the same as any other kind.
Tribnae.
London World. 81 can see no reason
why lady shoald not adopt certain
cut and color, and (if it really suits her
and cannot he improved uponl stick TO
II forever after. She would be. at all
events, original and acquire an accent
uated personality"
When President Arthur was a school
teacher he did not punish the big bad
boys by seating them with the girls; he
placed them on the lowest bench i'll the
primary department and made them
reclte th1 alphabet with the little child
ren. BY this simple method he perma
nently reformed one very bad school il
exactly two hours by the watch.
A young man seated beside an elderly
passenger on the Cincinnati, Hamilton
Il Dayton train the otherday morning
made considerable spor in quite way
OF the hat of lady near him. At last
his elderly companion replied: THAT
lady Is my wife, sir, and | told her that
every fool who saw the hat would make
sport of it, but she wouldn't believe me
and insisted on wearing it." The young
man stammered an apology and retreat
ed to the smoking-car.
In the trial Of Queen Victoria's would.
be-assassin the other day, Sir Henry
James, the attorneys general said in the
course OF his remarks: Experiments
had been made which in evidence
would show that had the bullet travelled
either slightly to the right or to the left.
tha death nf Hn- M~j .~4s- --...-lI L----
been accomplished This leads us 20
inquire what kind of hairpin is Queen
Victoria, anyhow.
An Illinois girl lately called ut n
Coroner's office, and, addressing the
solitary occupant of the apartment.
said, "Be you the Coroner" 81
guess you'd think so if you ever see an
shake hands with me-"
blandly answered the official. "You
amt going anywheres for II day or two
be you" "Not that | know, "WeH,
I'm glad to hear it," continued the
maiden with an air of much encourage
ment. "Jonnie Bowles has been
keepin' company with me since Christ
mas, but hear that he's going 70 take
another girl to circus to night, and
if he does I'll swaller p'ison."