The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1882-02-10
nuMoRs OF THE DAT.


ABUNDANCE, like want, ruins many;"
however, let us risk it on the abundance.
"DoN'r give me weigh," pleaded
the fat girl when invited to step on the
scales.
WHEN a girl rejects an offer Of mar
riage she goes through sleight OF hand
performance.
TIM end to be attained in the invest
ment of money is the divid end. -~Stett-
benpiiie Herald.
IF GEORGE WASHINGTON cannot have q
monument he has had pie named Tor
him, and that is better.
AN OLD negro says "Sass is power
full good in everything but children.
Dey need some other kind of dressing"
THE editor who called Chicago Chris
tian country ought 10 be better posted
in religious geography. Boston Times.
"PRrpE goes before a fall. True
enough, but pint OF corn whisky can
give pride hundred and beat it every
time.
AN EDITOR wrote a personal about a
young man going to spark his girl
When il was printed ho was horrified to
see the letter "n" substituted for the
"rp in the word spark. - Whitehall
Times.
"HAvE a place for everything anil
everything in its place" Somehow or
other this won't work we have big
place for our wealth, but wen be hanged
il we can put il there we haven't it -
Euaasoitte Argus
"DoEs our talk disturb youY said
one Of company of talkative ladies to
an old gentleman sitting in o railroad
station the other afternoon. "No,
ma'am, was the naive reply, "I've been
married night ON to forty years. Hart
totd Times.
"WHN / die let me be buried in the
stove, so that my ashes may mingle with
the CRATE, says the paragrapher OF the
Boston Star. In the stove the gentle
man 8 ashes viii scarcely mingle with
the CRATE the chances are he viii gently
simmer as base burner.
A MILLER in Peru, Ind, fell asleep In
his mill and bent forward till his hair
got caught i'll some machinery and was
yanled out and, Of course, it awakened
| him. and his first bewildering exclama-
| ton was: "Dnrn it, wife, what's the
matter now?" ?"-Boston Post.
| n VERY gushing young AudJ tuihod w
| Mr.. Snap and asked him ia passionate
| tones: "Oh--ah--Mr. Snap, tell me !
| What--what- your idea Of real happi-
ness?" Mr.. snap" Never reached the
! full meaning Of the word, yet, but /
| guess pork and beans would cover the
ground"
''You are ON the wrong tack, said the
pilot's wife, when the hardy son OF tho
ioud-sounding sea sat down on il and
arose with tho usual EXPLANATIONS.
"No," he replied, after critical exami-
nation, I" I'm on the right tack, but shoot
me dead il mint ON the wrong end OF
it. - burlington HatOheye.
! "HAyE como more Of the pie, urged
Mrs. Slobson 10 her boarders, who OBJ
stinately refused. Again she urged
them, adding: If you don't eat it I'll
have 70 throw IL away. 1t won't keep
much longer" Strange 10 say, their
appetites departed. This is one Of the
amenities Of boarding-house life.
WHEN you are coming up the cellar
stairs with bucket OF coal in one hand,
two pies and plate Of butter in the
other, and loaf Of bread under each
arm, it is exceedingly trying 10 your
Christian fortitude to have woman yell
down and caution you not TO forget the
preserves on the swinging shelf In the
corner Of the cellar, next TO the current
Jelly. Been there, haven't you2-- VIZ
Hamsport BreGkJast Table.