Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-06-08

1 IL ~ -
ORIGIN, HABITS AND PECULIARITIES.
Essay read before the Ninty-Six Literary Club.
1t would seem that if Nature taxed her re.
sources in any one direction more than in
another, when she spake all things into exis.
tence, it was in giving variety to the different
objects of her creation. After every thing
had been made and the divine plaudit, "Be'
hold, all things are very goud," had been pro
nounced, in order that a grand creative eli
max might be reached, it was determined to
gather up all the odds and ends, together with
the various raspings and filings that lay scat
tered throughout the vast laboratory OF Ma.
ture, and form them into one symmetrical
whole. This creative effort was exhaustive
and complete. The result was u Boy. 1t is
stupendous fact that all of the antagonistc
principles found in Nature are blended in the
character of the Boy, and in such way that
each principle retains it's distinctive character
istics. Would you have an example to prove
that the opposite principles do exist side by
side in this last and most complicated OF all
the works of the Great Architect? Just call
on a Boy of twelve Summers and request him
with his friend Fido to rid the premises of a
few cats, and then send him to dig few pota-
toes for dinner; and mark the difference IN
his movements. Or take one OF sixteen and
see with what complacency and satisfaction
he cultvates the little fuzz which has begun
to sprout upon his upper lip; and then see
him again as he sits in one corner watching
with Jealous eye his rival who is having good
time generally with his girl in the opposite
corner Note the change in his countenance
and general behavior. Again, if you would
like to see picture of extreme aWkWardness,
tenderness, and love, combined with fear and
apprehension, just contemplate for moment
Biq PubJv nursing little baby sister. But as
I propose further on in this essay to treat
more at length of the habits and peculiarities
of the Boy, will revert again to his origin.
THAT TIE BOY WAS NOT MADE AMONG THE
FIRST,
nor even at the same time with any of the
other creatures, but was entirely subsequent
consideration, we have the most convincing
circumstantial evidence. 1t cannot be sup
posed, that he existed during the formative
period of creation, while matter was yet plas-
tic and before it had hardened into organic
life. For if he had existed then, possess
ing 80 much innate thoughtlessness and
carelessness as he does, would he not have
overturned the whole establishment and left it
in one mass of confusion? Or, possessing such
a great instructive propensity to crafty his
natural curiosity, would not his finger marks
have been indelibly impressed upon every
thing that came within his reach? But some
obiector will ask, eff there was no boy then
how will you explain the fact that rabbits
have no tails ? Or, who plucked out the tail
of the bunty hen or who knocked off the
mnly cows horns?" Well, it must be con-
fessed that these look wonderfully like the
pranks of Boy. But the proof of the contra
ry is so convincing that we are obliged to
refer them to the apparent Whims Of Nature,
which makes things to differ simply that they
may be different. Would not the fraternal
relations, which exist in Paradise soon have
ceased to be fraternal had the Boy been pres
ent ? Would he and Fido not have formed an
alliance, which would have made old Tabby
'scit up and git ?'' And would not the rob-
bin and lark have had to hide out; while the
lizard as he basked in the sunshine of oblivl-
GUS contentment would have had to keep one
eve on duty whilst the other slept? And even
the old bull-frog perched upon his little tus-
sock, as he warbled forth his notes OF praise
and thanksgiving, would have had to have
kent his ears well open to catch the stealthy
football of the Boy, as with stone in hand he
crept softly up behind a neighboring log. And
who can believe (if a stone could have been
found) that old Jack would not have been
moping about the grounds with but one eye !
The pig with his leg done up in splints would
have been hobbling around on crutches;
While the Boy would prove an expert in all
the above particulars, it would be in the char
acter of Ransy Snitfle (see Georgia Scenes
that he would appear most at home. For him
to originate difficulty between the patriarchs
of the herd or of the flock would afford genu-
inc pleasure; and from some some place OF
safety to witness them test the hardness OF
their heads would furnish him infinite delight.
But the crowning argument, and the last L
shall offer, that
THE BOY WAS THE LAST OF ALL THINGS
CREATED,
is that the apple was left to ripen before it was
pulled. Had there been a boy present, that
apple would have disappeared before it fairly
turned. Of course, the Boy would have assert
ed his own innocency, and saddled it OF on
the monkey, who is second only to the Boy
in his pranks. So we may safely conclude
that the Boy was not in the garden. But
after every thing else had been made and the
entire machinery put in full operation, then
the Boy made his appearance. From that
time until Noah entered the Ark we have the
most unmistakable evidence of his presence.
That
HE WAS NOT ADMITTED INTO THE ARK,
we feel assured for while the Ark was amply
sufficient to hold all of the beasts both clean
and unclean yet if the Boy had been crowded
in. fUrty-eight hours would not have passed
before such a stir would have been created
among the animals, that while the Boy cling
ing in safety to a rafter above, enjoying the
general confusion below, old Noah would have
been seriously considering whether it would
be better for him to be drowned outside or de-
voured alive inside. Then what became of
the Boy He was evidently not drowned nor
L. 1, Iva Loo oft fl,a rly
as dry land appears, the Boy appears also. 1t
would be hard to make railroad conductor of
the present day believe that if Noah had
searched the hooks and corners outside the
ark. he would not have discovered the Boy
fixed up for free ride. From the flood
through all of the succeeding generations, up
to the present time, the Boy has given the
fullest evidences of his presence. We have
now concluded the history of the boys origin.
In treating of his habits and peculiarities,
THE SUBJECT NATURALLY DIVIDES ITSELF
INTO THREE DISTINCT PERIODS
Which we will consider separately. The first
period is the time which elapseS between the
ages of twelve and sixteen years the second,
! between sixteen and eighteen and the third
| period is from eighteen untilhe developes into
a man, which ordinarily takes place between
the ages of twenty-one and twenty-five, de-
pending entirely upon the amount of common
sense which he has at his command. We will
take the average boy as we come in contact
with him in our every day intercourse, leaving
enough of margin on the other hand for those
who are better, and on the other for those who
| are worse
The first thing we notice as characteristic
of the Boy in
| THE FIRST PERIOD
is his hat, which though not an old one, has
the greater part of the crown torn out and
with only a few detached pieces of the brim