The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1882-12-07
THE CHEERFUL GOAT.

The town goat has the run of
the town. He is not domestic in
/ his habits. He is seldom ever
seen asleep. The goat is composed
mainly Of horns, hair aud diges.
tive orgous. When not engaged
in buttiDg the breath out Of some
member of his own family, or
peeling the bark off the neigh
bors' fruit trees. he may be found
standing on All empty beer key,
iu front OF the corner grocery,
gleefuIly chewing wrapping paper
and empty sardine boxes. The
LOWE goat is respected and feared
by all who are acquainted with
bis eccentricilies Of character. He
is very reliable animal. H can
be relied on to ca, a weeks wash.
ing, break several windows, and
pursue thirty seven dogs in the ad-
joining yard all in one day, and
not work halt The time. Police
| men shoot al him, boys try to dis
courage him with stones, and
housekeepers empty kettles Of
hot water on him. As result of
these assaults, be usually has chips
and spIiuters broken off him at
every curve aud angle Of his anal
omy, yet withsl beis cheerful and
frolicsoue. His jaunty tail gives
him i detouair aud raEish ap-
pearance, thai causes some people
10 surmise that be isn't all that
be should be, but they judge him
too hastily, as people OF strong
prejudiees are prone to do.
These remarks aboat the goat
are suggested by an incident that
happened last week to an old
party named McWhir,er, who
lives in. Wisconsin, aud " no owns
a goat. Old man cWhirter lives
on an oatmeal diet and tho in,
terest of his money. On Monday
evening Of, last week, Mr.. Nc
Whirter was out in the yard iced
ing the COW. He had taken off
his coat and laid it on the fence.
In the pocket Of his coat was a
morocco pockc bonk containing
government bonds 10 lhe amount
of $4,000 Why. Mr.. New hirter
carried the irnd> Us bis pocket
Instead OF placing lbcu III the
safe, we were not ;u!i Wien be
had a,teudtu 10 lhc wants Of the
COW aud TUNED iu.ScL EIs coat, be
found that garment. lying in the
mud. The goat had pulled it
off The fence, AMI now stood
balancing himself OH the roof
Of the chicken coop. As be
came within the range Of Nc
.Whirter's vision, and rock that
the old mah propelled in his d.
,Iection, he was ia The act OF mas
ticating what was evidently the
remnant OF red morocco pocket
book.
AS the awful and disastrous
character Of the misfortune dawn.
ed on McWhirter, and he realized
that his twu thousand dollars in
bonds were nled away in tho di
gestive machinery of four dol
lar goat, he gave vent TO- bis feel.
ings in u yell that sounded like
tho wall OF " tagpipe leadinga
funeral proccssion; and with dis
may in every feature and three
tined hay fork in his hand, be
went for that goat. The goat de-
cided not 10 wait for him. He
did not tarry but proceeded
with CELEBRITY aud buoyancy that
was miraculous in four legged
apimal-to put o large area Of the
landscape between himself and his
owner. The goat went streaking
down the street, the irrascible old
man, coatless and hatlcss, 10 full cry
in his wake. AS the pageant came
tearing along, the goat biea!ing
a. derisive defiance and old Nc
Whirter waving the hay fork in
the ambient cleaning and calling
on the populace to head of that
$4,000 bond,' pedestrians crawied
up oD the fences, hack. drivers
drove into alleys, until the pro-
cession passed. AcWhirter fell
over two baby buggles, entangled
his hay fork in an aldermaD's ear,
an,i was several times tripped up
by policemen. VIII" thought be
was crazy man, for they couldn't
understand why any one could
take so much absorbing interest
in an ordinary goat that could
be bought any day at s3oa dozen.
.~L