Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1882-07-12

tnen the gong rang for dinner, and,
thinking he had created an awful catas-
trophe down stairs, he was greatly
alarmed, locked and bolted his door,
and sat up all night expecting the ar
rival of the police.
No woman really practices econ
omy unless she uses the Diamond
Dyes. Many dollars can be saved
every year. Ask the Druggist,
A candidate out West calls his
opponent a 'slumgullion.' This is new
and novel,
Personal,-John, come ack all is
forgiven. Pa kicked the wrong
man. He did not know it was you.
Sally
For tremulousness, wakefulness,
dizziness, and lack of energy, q most
valuable remedy is Browns Iron
Bitters.
A French newspaper advertisement
reads Wanted. a distinguished
healthy looking man to be o cured
patient in a DOCTORS Office
Every one will find a general tonic
in 'Lindsey's Improved Blood Search
er." Druggists sell it. It's what
you want
In the new arithmetic one reads:
In one lot there are four calves and ia
another two young men with their
hair banged. How many calves in
all p
To swceten rhubarb pies--put in as
much sugar az your conscience will
allow, then close your eyes and add
another handful.
At the masquerade: Was 1t the
loud beating of my heart, my darling,
that told you / was near 7" murmered
ne. oh, no. she replied, i recogniz-
ed your crooked legs
A. M. Doyle, of Columbus, Ga, says
that from experience he knows Sellers
Liver Pills" to be the best in use.
There are great possibilities in the
life Of news boy. Mike Mykens, of
Denver, Col, who has been in the bus
mess twenty-five years, is said to be
worth at least $50, 900.
A Liverpool shopkeeper advertises
that he is able sell cheaper than his
married competitors, who have to
support wife and children.
A French Chemist is reported to
have discovered q method of trans
forming the wool on sheep skins into
velvet, and il Is likely to become an
important article OF manufacture.
A woman in Laurenceville, Que
beck, seventy years old. recently gave
birth to a, child who bids fair to live
to comfort its parents in their 'declin-
ing years
The postage stamp is small, but the
largest men always go behind its
back to lick IL.
What is Hypocrisy Why, it is
when one saws he loves his neighbor
rs himself and straightway sands the
sugar.
What is this man charged with ?,
asked the judge. with whisky, yer
Honor replied the sententious police
maa. s4
Yes said the farmer, 'barbed.wire
fence is expensive, but the hired man
does not stop to rest five minutes on
the top OF it every time he has to
climb over it,
why does o donkey cot thistles y
asked teacher Of one Of the largest
boys in the class. Because he is
a donkey, | reckon" was the prompt
reply. ff
What Is your income?' was once
asked a noted Partisan Bohemian.
1t is hard TO tell was the reply, but
in good years | can borrow at least
10000 frances
'Confound it. you've shot the dog I
/ thought you told me you could bold
a gun Pat-'Sure, and 80 1 can,
yor honor. It's the shot sorr,
couldn't howld.'
Too much absorbed In his own bus
ness,' was the comment OF Western
newspaper on the death Of brewer
who was drowned In q tank Of his own
beer.
A boy who was PLAYING truant the
other day, when asked If he wouldn't
get whipping when he got home, re-
piled: What is FIVE minutes licking
to five hours Of fun?'
A Yonkers man says that his wife
works like lightning. BY this we pre-
sumo he wishes to convoy the idea
that she never strikes twice In the
same spot. sasin
In Sweden they are now manufac-
turing thread for crochet and sewing
purposes from pine timber. The pro-
cess Is secret and very profitable. and
the thread Is already In good demand
for export.
DOn't DIE I'm the House.
Ask druggists for Rough on Rats.n
I. .taora ont rata mica hadhuno