The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-08-30
WIT AND HUM0R.

Bluefshing Not so much as a nibble.
A pair of pumps: Two special repor-
tiers.
The way to treat a man of doubtful
credit is to take no note of him.
A miser is a man who may be truth
fully described as criminslly poor
What, sir, is friendship" Friend.
ship, sir, is devotion by another
The vulgar phrase, DRY up" is now
@stheticalIy rendered, Keep drouthy,'
Never insult milkman by asking
him what watering-place he is going to
this summer
What relation is your fathers only
brothers sister-in-law to youP Your
mother, of course.
This is the rock of ages" said a
tired father who had kent the eradicate.
An editor, only married a week ago,
yesterday printed fierce article against
"bosssm."
You can call spirits from the Vastly
deep of a drug store if your eye has been
properly trained.
The man who lodged a complaint
and boarded a car says he is going
out OF the hotel business.
The ballet girls of Paris are on a
strike Poor things! we suppose they
want money to buy clothes
The ah-de-dah Notwithstanding
young man is now styled third-class
male matter.
You can't eat enough in week to
last You year, and you can't advertise
on that plan either.
A western railway company is seri-
ously thinking of calling its main road
"The Primogeniture Route because it
is the heir line,
"Will you drop us saline?" asked
friend of man departing from SYRIA
cusc. That depends salt together on
circumstances, was the reply,
prisoner, this is the third time this
year that you have appeared before this
court. What has brought you here now,
eh?" "lhe police, sirH'
A brother of the King of Siam is
named Damroughser, We should Judge
the folks who named him took him for
New York Alderman.
Papa "Pon my word, II think |
shall have the heartburn" Little daugh-
ter: Shall | fetch it for you, papa? Is
it in the cupboard?H
The Syracuse Herald thinks that the
Chicago Tribune was not far out of tho
way. 1t spoke of doctor feeling his
patients purse.
The Digger Indians of California play
foot ball, aud invariably supplement the
sport with dance, drunk and a free
fight. Very like white men.
Trout fishing is unusually good this
year We have reports of sixteen-inch
trout having been caught in two-inch
streams.
A Newport youth drives three horses
abreast to T cart. Poverty has its adj
vantages. A man may be born idiot
but he can't show it unless he has mon
ey.
A Springfield Republican man has
discovered Leadville church, in which
is conspicuously displayed the legend;
please do not shoot at the organist; he
does his best"
1t is alleged that Arab Bey was orr
ginaly confectioner. His endeavor
to supply caramels for the girls drove
him to his present extremity of rebel
lion against the whole world
In the mountains Arabella (wbose
soul is wrapped in science); "ChaNes,
isn't this gness" Charles (who Is deep
ly Interested in Arabella): Nice! lfs
delicious"
"Well, my little man, aren't you bare
footed rather early this season." said
benevolent gentleman to q youngstel
this morning. Guess not. Wuz born
barefooted.h
Pats illness Doctor "Well, Pat,
have you taken the box Of pills ! sent
your Pat--"Yes. sir. be jabers.l have
but ] don't feel any better yet; maybe
tho lid HASN'T Gonna oH urtrs