Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1882-05-18
(DAHY RECORD.UNIoN SERIES.
VOL. Xy.-NO. "a.
ANOTHER CHAPTER.

People at the mint are working over
time" And yet we see very little Of their
work. New York Herald.
The first thing an Anglicized American
swell learns to do is to adjust an eyeglass.
The second is 70 yawn.-[ baltimore Star.
Sorrow and humiliation are not pleasant
things, and yet many man speL- whole
weeks wages in getting them.-[ Boston
Star.
Before going to war, pray once before
| going to sea, pray twice before getting
married, pray three times.-[ Russian Pro-
verb.
| A gambler justifes his love of play on
the ground that Polonius says "Costly
thy habit as thy purse can buy."-[B Boston
| Courier.
When a man is in tight place he will
/ find that he can get out more easily by
using taffy than by using wormwood.-
Boston Star.
| New York is not bit like heaven. Too
much marrying and giving in marriage
there, andlin every other respect ALSO
Saturday Evening Gazette.
Sawmills were first used in Europe in the
si..: .. a.e.. i...
swore he lost his leg in the army was gen.
orally believed. Boston Post.
"Lend me an X" said Jim to Joe;
81 can't Jim, for this reason
! have no cash, besides, you know,
| This amt the Lent ten season..
--[Somerville Journal.
A young lady in Boston office is so par
ticular about her personal appearance that
she always takes peep in the mirror be-
fore answering call at the telephone
! Bonneville Journal.
/ The Louisville Courier. Journal insinuates
that if truth lies at the bottom of the well,
some one has stolen the pump. Nonsense,
old fellow, you didn't know how to work it.
[Cleveland Sunday Sun.
An Oregon man fell on the icy walk and
broke his nose, and when he came to sue
for damages the jury held that his looks
had been improved thirty per cent. He
therefore got nothing. g.-[Free Press.
King Theebaw, of Burmah, has put to
death an inferior wife, two half-sisters OF
the Chancellor OF the Exchequer, and fifty
of their relatives. Several Ohio men will
leave for Burmah this week, to run for
Coroner Courier.J Journal.
"I see very little of you," said an old
gentleman at Louisville ball, to young
lady whom he had not met for long time
before 81 know il" was the artless re-
ply; "but mother would not let me wear
a low.necked dress tonight, as the weather
is too cold"
A literary man, who had recently pub
| lished a book, was observed to be very
downcast last week. "What is the mat
ter ?" said friend "you look all broken
up" "No wonder" was the answer
"Fve just been blown up by a magazine. i"
Boston Courier.
A treasury decision has been rendered
so many prizes last year, must pay duty II
she is sold to an American. Why not
make affidavit that she was imported for
breeding purposes? The evidence is as
strong in her case as in the case of Jumbo.
New York World.
Chicago gamblers are being rapidly con-
victed in patches of threes and fves.
Reckoning the population OF the city at
300, 600, and allowing for the natural in
crease of population, the last Chicago
gambler will probably be punished about
The year 2S72, if the produce and new stock
exchanges remain in existence. 4 Puck.
a prominent citizen, whose idiosyncrasy
is that of becoming intoxicated and going
to bed with his clothes on, was surprised
with the following the other morning from
his wife: "You were not as drunk a.
usual last night, Henry dear, were you"
swell, don't know" says he; "what
makes you think so?" "Why," she re-
piled, 81 see you took your overshoes off
before you went to bed. u Cincinnati Sat
urday Night.
Lost, strayed. or mayhap stolen;
lass with golden hair,
Blue-eyed, Of fair complexion,
And spirit free as air.
| Between suspense and certainty
| The loss occurred, Just where,
! Subscriber fails to recollect,
Though sure he used due care.
! Such losses are 80 common
! 'Twere useless, now, to moan.
Who finds will be rewarded
BY leaving her alone.
-[Hsrvard Lampoon.