davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
How to Swim.

There really is no mystery in learn
ing to swim-an accomplishment which
is possessed in perfection by the most
stupid of frogs. More than once have
explained how any one can teach HIM
self. The trunk, less the arms, is heav-
ier than water; with the arms, it is
lighter; all, therefore, that person has
to do is to acquire the habit Of drawing
in the breath when he is preparing to
make stroke, and expelling the breath
when he is making it. Let any one do
this and keep calm. and he will find
that he can swim. But, perhaps, it is
better to acquire confidence by prelim-
mary course of floating. To do this
it is only necessary to lie fiat on the
water, stretch out the arms with the
palms of the hands downward, throw
back the head, and whenever the body
sinks low, slowly to fill the lungs with
air,-Lo7,do1 Truth.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
he Scorned Dishonesty.

An easy-going, honest-minded old
country merchant in Iowa had been in
trade for a dozen years when he took in
his son as partner. The boy had
lived in Chicago for three or four years
and was up to. snuff One day after the
partnership had lasted about seven
months, the old man came down in
the morning and found the doors Of the
store closed and a sign up to the effect
that the firm had failed. He walked over
to his sons house and asked: James,
did you lock the store?" II did,
what is the matter?'' "Why, we
have failed, and can only pay Is cents
on the dollar" James" continued
the old man as he pulled down his hat,
I'm going down and open the door
with a crow-bar, and resume business
at 100 cents on the dollar! For thirteen
long years / have given fifteen ounces
to the pound and measured both fin.
fiers with every yard of cloth, and the
idea of taking any further advantage OF
the Lord goes agin my conscience. Jusl
consider that we have resumed, and
come along and scrape out them sugar
barrels. - Wal Street Meas.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
CITY OFFICERS.


NJ Z. CHURCH. SoUTH--Services in the NJ. Z.
Church, SOUTH every sunday at 10 80 A. M and
1897. NJ Rev. I. j. Gooch, pastor. Prayer
meeting Wednesday evening at 80. Sunday
School at 9 A. NJ j. NJ. Marmaduke, Superin-
tendent.
BAPTIST CHURCH--Services at Baptist Church
every Sunday morning and evening. Prayer
meeting every Wednesday evening. Rev. j. G.
Armstrong, Pastor. Sunday School at A. N.
James Carroll, Superintendent.
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH--Sery1ces at Presby-
terian Church on Promenade street, by Rev. DIR.
Stoddert every Sunday, at 10 30, AM, and 80
p N. Lecture and prayer meeting every Wednes-
DAY evening. Sunday School at 8 A. M. j. p.
Blanton, Superintendent.
CHRISTIAN CHURcH--Seryices at the Christian
Church every Lords day at 10 80 A. N. and ! sc
F. NJ. Prayer meeting Wednesday evening al
I 80. Sunday School at 9 : 30 A. NJ. b. L. Locke
Superintendent, u. F. Dobyns, Secretary.
OLp-ScHooL BAPTIST CHURcH-Seryicesa at the
Old School Baptist Church every fourth Sunday
in each month. ElderJ. E. Lee, Pastor.
LIBERTY STREET NJ E. CHURCH. Services at thu
Liberty Street Methodist Episcopal Church every
Sabbath morning and evening. Rev. J. Wayman
pastor. Prayer meeting every Wednesday even
ing. sabbath School . A. NJ. j. Wright, super
lntendent-
| EPISCOPAL CHURCH---Services in Episcopa
Church on 1st and Sd Sundays in each month d
! II A. NJ. and 80 P. NJ. Rev. Peter Wager Rector
| CATHOLIC CHURCH--Sersices at the Catholi
Church every Sunday. Father Dempsey. Pastor
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21

A Laddonia young lady never tires
relating an amusing occurrence of
lie sleighing season last winter.
he was enjoying ride in company
tn two Farber gentlemen and she
', driving. One of the gentleman
o. inserted a hand in her muff and
lo'rly pressed her disengaged hand.
one lshed and withdrew it just as
'no atleman ON the other side
snppe.is hand in the muff. She
knew bthe action of her adorers
'ha' 'he I'd pressures were frequent
anu io'.' within the silk lining of
'ie num- first one face and then
the other wd bob forward to catch
a look at Lsweet face and eyes
which promH as they supposed,
the tender pres,e of the hand The
by-play lasted il the young lady
q''e''s i.n''Ae eff you gentle
ii''n a'e 'n'oosnth my muff 1 will
trouble you for it .s mr honds
are getting cold" nd tho oent,e-
l "'o ''.' 'n ,fortably warm
up " .n'S '''ae S'''' felt an Are
tic chill creeping up !. s,;no1 oo,
umns, and the mercur 4 +ho;r foo,
ings dropped to 1SO Ceos hollow,
: zero. The two gentlem., GIRO,
GERS now,
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
;. mean you don't play the whole

I. mean you don't play the whole
of it.
S. Stranger, can you play the fiddula
I. Yes; little, sometimes.
S. You don't look like fiddlur, but
ct you think you can play any more on
to that thar tune, you kin just try it.
CThe traveller takes the fiddle and
plays the whole of it, 4
s. Stranger, tuck half-a-dozen cheers
and sot down. Sal, stir yourself round
like six-horse team in a mud-hole. Go
round in the holler where l killed that
buck this mornin', cut off some of the
best pieces, and fetch it and cook it for
me and this gentleman Directly. Raise
up the board under the head of the bed,
and get the old black jug hid from
Dick, and gin us some whisky. L
know there's some left yit. Til, drive
ole Bose out'n the bread-tray; then
climb up in the loft and git the rag
that's got the sugar tied in it. Dick,
carry the gentleman's hoss round under
the shed. and give him some fodder and
corn, much as he kin eat.
iii. Dad. they amt knifes enuff for
to sot the table.
S. Whar's big butch, little butch,
old case, cob-handle, granny's knife,
and the one handled yesterday? That s
enuff to sot any gentleman's table, out'n
you lost um. Durn me, stranger, ef
you can't stay as long as you please,
and I'll give you plenty to eat and
drink. Win you have coffey for support
I. Yes, sir.
S. I'll be hanged if you do, tho.
We don't have nOthin' that Way here
but grub Hyson, and l reckon it's
mighty good. with sweetenin'. Play
away, stranger; you kin sleep on the
dry spot tonight.
7. (After about two hours fiddling.) }
My friend, can't you tell me about the
| road I'm to travel tomorrow?
S, Tomorrow! Stranger, you won't
get out'n these diggins for six weeks.
But when it gifts so you kin start, you
see that big sloo over thar? Well, you
have to git crost that; then you take the
road up the bank, and in about mile
you'll come to atwo-acre-and-a-haf corn
patch. The corn's nitily in the weeds.
but you needn't mind that; just ride on.
| About a mile and a half or two miles
from there you'll come to the d-dest
| swamp you ever struck in all your
travels; it's boggy enuff to mire sad
dle-blanket. Thar's fust-rate road
about six feet under thar.
I. How am to get at it?
S. You can't get at it nary time
till the weather stifens down sum.
| Well, about mile byeant you come to
! place whar thar's no roads. You kin
take the right hand eff you want to-
| you'll folier it a mile or so, and you'll
find it's run out; you'll then have to
come back and try the left; when you
| git about two miles on that you'll know
you are wrong, fur they amt any road
thar. You'll then think you're nifty
lucky to find the way back to my house
whar you kin come and play on that q,
tune as long as you please.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
SocrateS.

Great men with great ideas are mis-.
understood by Our world. Socrates,
who opposed the Sophists by using theil
own weapons, was confounded with
these Sophists. Aristophanes, in his
COMEDY of the Clouds" makes So.
crates figure as the chief of Sophists.
HIS teaching. which insisted more on
wi ig a moral life than the mere formal
ol S :rvance of the service of the gods,
was said to be ''corrupting in its infiu-
ence upon the youth and undermining
all true discipline and morality" He
was accused of introducing new gods.
He was tried, and on account of his
naughty bearing condemned to death.
He told his judges that so far from be.
ing condemned, he ought to be support.
ed at public expense for the rest of his
life as benefactor of the state.
He braved his judges. Socrates
could plead his own cause; his friends
were true to him. 80, Athenians, had
you waited short time the thing would
have happened without your agency,
for you see my years; l am far advanc-
ed in life and near to DEATH" s.It is
now time that we depart, / to die, you
to live; but which has the better destiny
is unknown to all except the God" So
crates would have been put to death on
the morrow after his condemnation but
that it was the first day of festival.
He waited thirty days.
During the thirty days which he spent
in prison he was engaged with his
friends in cheerful conversation. These
companions gathered around him, lis
tening to his every word. He talked OF
the life beyond. Socrates was an old
man compared with his friends. He
had seen the three-score years and ten.
He was ready to give up life. He had
assembled the hill-he had seen life from
its height. No young hopes and am
bitions filled his soul. The thirty days
were up. The day he was to drink had
come. The hour came, and with it the
administrator of the poison. "How
shall take it?" asked Socrates. ''Simp-
ly drink it, then walk round until a
heaviness GENES upon you. After this,
lie down, and soon the poison will have
done its work. This Socrates did.
Soon the heaviness came, the body be.
came cold, and the spirit quietly passed
away. 1t was at sunset, and the rays
of that setting sun still give glory to the
prison of Socrates.-ReC. Albert Walk.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
Theatrical and CircuS.

Dan Linahan & Co., pub, of
st. Louis, have just issueo hoo,,
bearing the above title. 1t e -
a new and always interesting SOFT
and will, no doubt, be WELDON h,,
many amusement lovers who desto
acquaint themselves with the
teries of the profession" In =.
it will interest all classes of reade
owing to its revelations of seer
heretofore known only to manag
and actors. The author is v
known dramatic critic, his style
easy and natural, and the numer
anecdotes and personal adventu
with which he enlivens his work, 1
der it refreshingly interesting. B.
agents will have a good thing in |
volume. See advertisement.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
SOCIETIES.

40. U. W. meets every Tuesday evening at
7:3O. j. A. Spence, r. NJ. W.. L. S. Frost, NJ.
w; J. J. Winscott, G. F.; r. n. Armstrong, o. /;
ID. +. Gentry, R.; T. W. Harding, Receiver; 5.
l.. Mexican, +. S.
Crusade Commandery-S. s. Craig, Eminent
Commander, meets third Tuesday evening OF
each month, at BOZ N.
Mexico Lodge No %, A. F. and A. NJ. 1st Fri
day night in each month att P. NJ. j. NJ. Marm-
aduke. w. NJ; l. H. Hightshoe, S: w; j. F.
Liewefiyn, j. W.; James Carroll, Secretary; Z
j. Gibbs. Treasurer; j. Bassford, 5 M; j.
f. Gillian, j. d.. James Clacher, Tyler.
Mexico Chapter No. q, Royal Arch, meets the
End Friday in each month 5. NJ. EdWards, Ii.
p, j. II. Marmaduke, Secretary.
Hebron Lode No. 354, A. F. and A. NJ. regular
communications fst Tuesday in every month at
I: 80 p. N. JIM Riley, W. NJ,
LOO. F-Mexico Lodge No. 80 meets every
Thursday evening at their hall in P. Nj. Morris
building. j. II. Riley, n. G.
Audra;n County Medical Society meets every
Friday evening at o'clock. DIR. I. A. keeton.
President; DIR. W. w. Rodman, Secretary.
Salt River Lodge, No. 1886, Knights of Honor,
meets 1st and 81 Thursday evenings at Ken:
mans Hall. j. Med. Trimble, Dictator; +. W
Harding, Reporter.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
MEXICO, MISSOURI, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 1882

What will be the ultimate result
cannot be foreseen, but that it will be
just what Great Britain thinks it will
be to her interest to make it need not
be doubted. In one way or another
Egypt will pay the piper and she will
be fortunate indeed if she is not inn
mediately reduced to the condition of
an East Indian province. History
repeats itself and the march of Eng
lands empire is still eastward.
1t has been thought by. aaany that
the prowess of the British army was
receding and that the last great naval
battle had been fought. 1t was sup
posed also that heavy artillery en-
trenched and supported by modern
infantry was invincible and that long
range breech-loading rifles placed all
nations and races upon-an equality in
war, and there has been much in the
past to justify such conclusions. In
her war with Germany the fine navy
of France was almost useless, and in
the Turko-Russian struggle entrench-
ments were carried only by such trc-
menduous loss of life, as English and
American generals, profuse of blood
as they usually are, would shrink
from; but all the engagements thus
far in Egypt would seem to prove
that it is true pluck and clan and not
arms that bring victories to armies.
Arabfs guns were more numerous
than those of Wolseley's and his RI
tles quite as good, but his troops ap-
pear to have been frightened by An
glo-Saxon dash and rendered unfit
to use them as more civilized forces
would have done. In this last en-
gagement the loss On the side of the
English was numerically small. 1t
was the officers that led the way that
suffered most. Some of those last that
fell were prodigieus in valor. 1t was
only a few days ago that we heard of
an unsuccessful attack by 1000
Egyptians on $500 Englishmen, but
when Albion with Erin heads the FRAY
how different the result.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
The Early Attractions Of Western Vii
la1e,

We heard . Western village praised
very highly by friend the other even
ing for the singular objects Of curiosity
which the town and its environs con-
tanned. Il saw" said he. ''the tree on
which six gamblers were hung at one
and the same time. There was q ''hard
set out looking at the tree when /
reached it. 1t was covered. lower
limbs and all, with handbills. One was
of a cock fight, which was to take place
that night; another OF a ''bull-dog
match" that afternoon; and third of a
''sparring milr' that was to come of
between two professors Of the manly
art of self-defense." / noticed at the
tavern. whe1e put up," glass jar
on shelf over the fireplace, which con-
tanned what took, at the first glance.
to be q couple Of pieces Of preserved
lemon or orange peel. "What is that
in that jar. landlord?" I asked. "A
couple of ears that were cut off in this
very room, by two cowardly rascals,
more than a year ago; and there they
shall stay till the scoundrels see 'em.
They can't disguise themselves so that
wouldn't know 'em. il they was ever
to come in here and once look at them
ere earsr' ''rhis was some years ago"
added our friend. land l am glad to
hear that the place has now become q
peaceful and orderly town."-Cincin.
natt Commercial.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
POST OFFICE.

GEORGE A. PoTEEr. Postmaster.
DAILY MAILS.
st. Louis mail arrives At 9: 10 p. m. and 3 ss
q. m. (nigbt.1
st. Louis mail closes IL m. and ] p. m.
Chicago mail arrives at 80 q. m.
Chicngo mail closes II and Up. m.
Kansas City mail (by C. l. A. L. R) arrives at
II 35 p m. closes 10p. m.
st Louis and Chicago mail (viaC. & 4. r. R-)
arrives at 30 a. m, closes IL 20 p. m.
jefferson City mail arrives at II +: 30 p. m.
jefferson City mali closes 3: 1Op. m.
Western mail arrives at "a p. m.
Western mail closes at p. m.
West Hartford and Perry mails arrive at 30
q m. Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays. Close
at a. m. same days.
Santa Fe mail arrives at i2 m. Tuesdays and
FridaJs-departs1 20p. m same days.
Young . Greek and Long Branch mails arrive
at II m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays
Close at IL 30 p. m. Same days.
Modoc and Younger's mail arrives at II q. m
Saturdays. Closes at p. m. same day.
Post Office opens at Q. m closes at >. m
| Open Sundays from to 3 p NJ.
| N- Money orders on all. important points II
the United States. England and Ireland.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
Some Banp-up Stories,

A Georgia negro. while fishing. fast
ened his line to his leg for safety. He
was soon seen to 60 overheard. and
when his body and the fish were recov-
cred it took the Coroner two days to
determine whether the negro drown
ed the fish or the fish drowned the ne
gro.
In Bayou Chicot, La, full-grown
wildcat leaped upon Mrs. Griffith
Thompson, fastening his teeth in her
left arm. She grasped the savage beast
by the throat and held it until it was
choked to death, although it was biting
and scratching her all the time.
A small red squirrel attempted to
jump from one tree to another as VIM.
Miles, of New Chester. Pa, drew on
him. The squirrel fell into the Brandy
wine. 1t hardly touched the water
when several bass came to the surface,
and. pulling the squirrel under, drown
ed it.
Silas Hutchinson, of Pocopsin Town
ship, Pa, relates as fact that he saw
one Of his cows come up suddenly out
OF the Brandywine, where she had gone
to cool. and as she assembled the river
bank black bass about eighteen inch
es long hung to one Of her teats. Find
ing itself out Of water it let go and wig
gled back into the stream.
:. A big pickerel, hooked by ]. F. Win
thron, Of Hydetown, Pa, lay so quiet
that it was query with him whether he
had q fish or a snag. After trying to
worry it without success q happy
thought struck him. Taking the fish
line in his teeth, he established telephon-
ic communication, and yelling s'Hellor'
at the top of his lungs, the fish darted
like q shot, and WAS so active that it was
with difficulty secured. It weighed FIVE
pounds.
A Wyoming man saw Texas steer
standing on the railroad track, and
knowing that the express train was due
tried to induce the beast to move. Sew
eral pieces of board thrown at the fero-
cious monster failed to move it, until
at last, as the train rushed down the
track at lightning speed, he seized the
steer by the tail and twisted it like q
wet towel. At this moment the train
struck them both and the result was
stupendous. The steer was found two
days afterward browsing peacefully in
corn field, with two driving wheels
hung on its horns. No trace Of either
the man or the engine has been heard
of since.
The bossest snake story we ever heard
of has just come to light in Twiggs, as
follows: A few days since, while GER
tain farmer was cleaning out his fence
corners. huge rattle-snake struck at
him, but, missing the intended victim,
sunk its poisonous fangs deep into the
hoe-handle which the man held in his
hands. In less time than it takes to
write it, the handle was swollen to such
an extent that it bursted the eye of the
hoe and split into thousand pieces
With the aid of two crowbars and an
old army musket the snake was killed.
The farmer skinned it, and now uses the
hide for wallet, in which he carries
corn to his hogs. The wallet will
hold three pecks and two quarts of shell.
ed corn. Surely Twiggs deserves the
holt
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
THE Meckiug Bird"

According to Washington cores
pondent an old attache of the White
House relates the following incident:
'.Thc first time The Mocking Bird was
ever PLAYED, | believe. was by the Ma
rine Band. 1t was during Buchanan s
term, and his niece, Miss Harriet Lane.
presided with a grace rarely equalled at
the White House The leader of the
band had requested Miss Lane to allow
Jim to dedicate the piece to her, and
one had consented, inviting a large COM
es my to listen to the first rendition. The
thed leader, following the programme,
ern, presented Miss Lane with a card,
get Ihich was painted mocking bird
med the inscription, To you The
.the tosition was played in splendid
me and have never heard it since
none saat that scene was recalled. can
as Lane bow her acknowledgements
all mnd again, and almost hear the
you bla of applause from the assem-.
hunThe flavor of that evening
a da,t the band concerts for many
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21

There is a curious geographical fac
in connection with the KOotenai River
It's course is in the shape Of a ahorseshoe
1t rises in British Columbia. runs int
the United States and waters . vast re
gion. and then circles back to the lant
Of its birth and empties into the Colum
bia in British territory. During it
course it passes within half . mile o
the Columbia, and q canal Of that dis
tance over a grassy prairie would saw
it a course Of 500 miles before reachin;
its goal
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
Sleepers.

A sleeper is one who sleeps. A
sleeper is that in which the sleeper
sleeps. A sleeper is that on which
the sleeper which carries the sleeper
while he sleeps runs. Therefore while
the sleeper sleeps in the sleeper the
sleeper carries the sleeper over the
sleeper under the sleeper until the
sleeper which carries it jumps off the
sleeper and wakes the sleeper in tue
sleeper by striking the sleeper under
the sleeper, and there is no sleeper in
the sleeper on the sleeper.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
After a Young child had died and

After a young child had died and
been laid in its casket, in Auburn,
Me-, few weeks ago, a rosebud was
plucked from a neighboring garden,
and the stem was placed in one OF
the lifeless little hands. A day OIL
two elapsed between this incident and
the funeral ceremony. In the inter
val the rosebud in the hand of clay
was seen to gradually unfold. Wher
the service was held, the bud had be
come a blossom.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21

There was a man from Pike County
who happened to be in Philadelphia
over Sunday. Not knowing what to do
with himself, he visited one of the
churches, and listened to q sermon on
the fateful words. "Mene, meme, tekel
upharsin." When he returned home.
he gave his wife full account Of his ad-
ventures. Il think" said he, THAT
Philadelfy hain't got no rale, true re-
ligion, Jane. But what kin we expect
where preacher, without emmy one
sayin' word agin him, stan's up and,
starin' at gal in one Of the nigh pews.
hollers out every now an then, Minnie,
Minnie. tickle your parson?' Brook
I'm EdQle.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
Learn q Lesson.

A young man was sun-struck while
playing base ball in Joplin last Sun
day. A lesson should be learned
from this. Sex.
A few evenings ago while the Rev.
j. H. Porter, the leading divine Of
Jonesboro, Arkansas, was exhortine
sinners to come forward and bt
prayed for, he was stricken dumb
and all efforts to restore his voice
have proved unavailing. What a les
son should be learned from this!
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
County and City Directory
COUNTY DIRECTORY.

Times of Holding Courts.
AUDRAIN CIRCUIT COURT.
Regular Terms---Fourth Monday in January;
first Monday in June, and first Monday in
October.
PROBATE COURT.
Regular Terms--second Monday in March, May,
| September, and January.
| COUNTY COURT.
| Regular Terms--First Monday in May, August,
| November and February.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21

The public school opened Monday
in good shape, and is now in fine
working order. We have fine corps
of teachers, who are entering into
their work with spirit and energy,
which is sure to win.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
STATE OFFICIALS.

Governcr--T. T. Crittenden. SALARY, 90: 600
Lieut. Goy.--Robert a. Campbeil... s. per day.
secretary of State--M. X Mctirath. 900
Attorney General--Daniel II. Mcintyre. 900
Auditor ohm Walker. ....-....-.-..-....SS SSooO
Treasurer--Phil f. Chappell. ......... oVo
Repister OF Iands--Robert McCullOch.. 81, ,U0
Sunt. Public Instruction--R. ID. Shannon. .$3, 900
Mexico weekly ledger., 1882-09-21
UNITED STATES JUDICIARY.
Chief Justice.
DEpaRTMENr OF JUSTICE.

L. s, Circuit COurt---Western District OF
Missouri.
HOE. Arnold krekel, tJudgeS--saiary, so'ooo
Hon. John F. Dillon.
Marshal. William M. smith.
Regular terms, third Monday in April and NO
vember, at Jefferson City.
u S. District Court--Western Distric' Oh
Missouri.
.Judpe. ArnOiti hIehei
District Attorney. ....A- ". AuiSns'
Regular terms first Monday in March and Sep
Register in Bankruptcy Charles E. Hess, Jef-
ferson City, Mo.