Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1882-07-08
An Unsatisfactory Picnic.


bill for advertising his seed potatoes
and handed him his change. 1--WE
had one, but they are not talking
about any more"
"What seems to be the trouble !"
asked the cashier.
"The fust ore wasn't calkilated to
make en- popular" replied the old
man buoklilg up his pocketbook. 81
don't think they could raise seven
dollars toward another in the whole
township"
"Didn't it come off in good shape ?"
inquired The cashier.
1T went off, and that was chiefly
the trouble" was the response. "You
see, the picnic was to raiee some mon.
ey to pay off the interest on the mort.
gage and the balance to go to the
heather. The wimmen turned loose
and made pie, and we men got some
lemons and buckets, and if we'd stop
ped there it would have been all
right. Lemonade and pie was good
enough for anybody, but some smart
Alecks thought we ought to have So
da water, and like a choice assort-
ment Of darned fools We all Clipped
in for one Of them copper fountains"
"That's a pretty good idea," ccm-
mented the cashier.
"Think so, Ell ?" replied the farmer,
dryly. "The idea was good enough
but the fountain made trouble. The
way we fixed it was to let the nozzle
of the contrivance stick up through
the table and squirt during the fru-
gal meal. Thought it would be a
pleasant sight and enliven the pro-
ceedlngs.
"Did it ?"
"It did. There's great many
factions in our county, but they agree
that the fountain enlivened the pro-
ceedings. You know we all sat
around the ia bic on benches, and we
men carved the pies while the vim
men dipped the lemonade. We all
was to be helped before we turned
the fountain loose, and then we was
to catch The soda in glasses as it came
out"
"Did you catch any 2,
"We did. We didn't catch much
in the glasses, but We got the soda;
that is, good deal oft. Some of it
got away. Why sir just as soon as
the Parson turned the spiggot you
ahould have seen that picnic Fizz !
Whoop And there we was Z
"Wherc were you?"
We'll, we was scattered. The
table has been heard of twice, and
some letters from Connecticut think
it looked as though it was falling,
Piel You should have seen them
pies One big apple pie, with TOT
and bottom attachment a1d scolloped
eaga, went through that picnic like a
circular saw You ought to seen the
timber fsil around thai part A Gus.
tard ditto vent clean through old aunt
Betty Bigelow and smashed against a
barn with report like sham battle
Pie ] Friend, We carry sheet-iroD
umbrellas in our section now"
"Anyone hurt p asked the cashier.
Not to mention. We haven't got
'em all down out of tie trees yet but
those We have saved seems to be all
right with the exception of an edge OF
a joint knocked off here and there
don't know that anyone was killed,
though half the picnic is yet to hear
from. But the point 1 want to make
is, is that We amt having any more
of them things"
"That's where you are all wrong"
suggested the cashier. ",rhGt very
experience is just what you wanted,
"How ?" demanded the farmer.
"You were trying to raise II church
debt, as | understand it. Now, why
don't you open another soda fountain
right under the debt?"
That settled IL and ifa tornado ia
ever reported from Suffolk county
way that cashier will have something
to answer for.
"WHEN l publicly testified that
had been cured of terrible skin