The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1882-04-07
CHEL, C0LORADOS.

81 DECLARE" said Julia, ''you take the
words right out of my mouth. ''No won.
der they are sweet" said Henry. Tho
day was set that evening
A tart compliment ''Don't you think
that Miss Brown is very sweet girl - ask
ed Henry. ''Oh, yes, very sweet, =" replied
Jane; that is to say, she is well preserved
Child-':Herr Pastor, my mother sends
me to say that my father died tonight
Pastor-"Did you call doctor - No
Herr Pastor, he died of himself. ''-Gesman
Paper.
''There is one thing will say for pool
old Simpkins," remarked brother journ
alist at the funeral, ''it he was a liar he
was gentlemanly liar. ."-Nes0 York Com
s,,erciat advertiser.
Short: Adolphus, let us leave the
avenue and stroll along the margin of the
river" ''Not any, Evangeline; no more
margins for me-" (Adolphus had been
speculating in futures that week.)
Glass in history: Teaeher-'Who was
the first man." First boy-'George Wash
inston." Teacher-''Next. Second boy.
"Adam." First boy (indignantly)-"]
didn't know you meant foreigners
''Do you think 1 am a fool - violent
man once asked of Rev. DIR. Bethune.
''Really," replied the doctor, Il would not
venture the assertion, but now that you ask
my opinion, 1 must say that I am not pre-,
pared to deny it !''
Amelia-'.You may talk about your city
fellows, but give me beau from the coun.
try !" Juliet -"And why do you want a
country beau. should love to hear 3
because, sis, he's very likely to
become husban,lman!"
Fond parent, almost bursting into tears
angelina, my 10. e, have bad news for
you. Heaven knows, my child, 1 would
spare you the sorrow if could, but Ell
win -Daughter-''Speak quickly! Ny
love, my promised husband pa
rent-'Is gambler 20 Daushter-"O
pa, is he lucky?'
A young curate having preached before
his vicar for the first time, asked that
worthy at the close of the service which
passage in his sermon he thought the best
to which the vicar made reply: s'Youl
passage from the vestry to the pulpit was
very fine; but com mmend me to that from
the pulpit to the vestry for down right
heart-relieving effect. '-Chrt;an Adcocate.
Two ''ioafers" in the Jardin dies Plantes
are staring at the boa constructor. which,
after the fashion of boa constructors, has
curled it's tail up at the tip, "Hallo - says
one loafer, ''why has he tied himself i'll a
knot % The other man reflects for mo-
ment and then replies: "Oh, that's because
there was something he wanted to remem-
ber." And they both went on staring.
Cham.
Mr.. Lincoln was askel which of two
programmes for his inauguration he PREFER
ed. Throwing one leg over the back of the
chair, he told '.a story" "When I was
practicing law in Illinois, client of mine.
peculiar sort of a fellow, was brought be.
fore the conrt and the Judge asked him
10 you swear OF anlrm MI. ouiSe'
my client repied, 4 don't care curse
which"
Together they were looking over the paper
"Oh, my, how funny" she said. "Wha
is it ~ he asked. why, here's an adver
tisement that says: mo reasonable offer re
fused" 'What's so odd about thats'
Nothing, nothihg," she replied, trying tt
blush, "only those are exactly my senti-
ments." If that young man hadn't takel
the hint and proposed right then and there
she would have hated him. Rome Sentinel