davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
Policeman and Millionaire,

Almost everybody at one time or an
other has dreamed of what he would do
if he were suddenly to become enormous
" rich, but SO few have actually realiz-
ed their dreams that it is interesting to
note how far fuliillment corresponds
with expectation in the rare cases when
q poor man becomes millionaire. X.
Robson, an old policeman, who spent
six years in the service of Joseph Hume,
has been declared by the Court of
Chancery the rightful heir of an estate
valued at f250,O which has remained
in the hands of the Ecclesiastical Com
missioners since the murder of his grand
father in Manchester in 1742. The for
tunate heir, who is now 72 years old, is
STAYING at an inn in Newcastle, where
he is pestered beyond endurance by the
visits of affectionate and long-lost rela-
tives whose very existence he had for
gotten, to say nothing of hosts of Others
he had never met. Among the latter
claimants were no fewer than three or
four ladies, who stoutly asserted that he
was their lawful welded husband, and
refused to be convinced by the appear
ance of the veritable Mrs. Robson that
they were mistaken in their man. This
it must be admitted els somewhat of a
novelty. Every one knows that money
is sufficient to purchase ''trOOps of
friends" but hitherto not even fortune
of E25O. 600 has been able to call three
or four wives at a moments notice from
the vastly deep.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
An Indian Custom Which Would Maxi
Our Directories Too Big.

The names of Indians are sometimes
so peculiar that people are made tc
wonder how the red men become pos
sessed of them. That of "Sitting Bull. u
"Crazy Horse, 'Man Afraid of his
Horses" ''Red Cloud, "etc cause a good
deal of thought to those who do no,
know how the names are given. The
fact of the matter is that after q child OF
the forest is born, the medicine man
goes to the door and looks out, and the
first object that attracts his attention is
made use of to name the child. When
the mother of that great warrior gave
birth to her child the medicine man
looked out and saw a bull seated on his
launches, hence the name, ''Sitting
Bull" 1t is an evidence of our superior
civilization that we name our children
on different plan, taking the name of
some eminent man or woman, some iun-
Gle or aunt, to fasten on to the unsus-
pecting stranger. Suppose that the GUS
tom in vogue among the Indians should
be in use among us, we would have, in
stead of George Washington" and
Hammer Jane" and such beautiful
names, some of the worst jaw breakers
that ever was. Suppose the attending
physician should go to the door after a
child was born, and name it after the
first object he saw. We might have
some future statesman. named, sRed-
Headed d-Servant-girl- with-a. .rubber-bag
-of-hot-Water," or "Bald-Headed- Hus-
band-walking- up and down swearing
this-thing-shall-never Happen Again"
Or, suppose it was about election time,
and the doctor should look out, he might
name a child that had right to grow
up a minister, ''Candidate-fo for -office-so-
Observation-Disclosures Back Teeth:
are-Afloat," or suppose he should look
out and see q woman crossing a muddy
street, he might name a child, "Woman.
with-a-Sealskin-cloak -hole-in-her.
Stocking" 1t wouldn't do at all to
name children the way Indians do, be.
cause the doctors would have the whole
business in their hands. and the direo-
tories are big enough now. 4
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
How Oheaply One Gan Live.

Bread, after all, is the cheapest diet
one can live on, and the best. A story
is told that shows just how cheap man
can live when he gets ''down to mush, !"
figuratively and literally speaking. Coi-
onel Fitzgibbon was, many years ago,
colonial agent at London for the Cana
dian government, and was wholly de-
pendent upon remittances from Canada
for his support. On one occasion these
remittances failed to arrive, and as
there was no cable in those days, he was
compelled to write to his Canadian
friends to know the reason of the delay.
Meanwhile he had just one sovereign to
live upon. He found that he could live
upon sixpence per day, or about 123
cents of our money-four pennyworths
of bread, one pennyworth of milk, and
one pennyworth of sugar. He made
pudding of some of the bread and sugar,
which served for breakfast, dinner and
supper, the milk being reserved for the
last meal. When his remittances ar
rived, about month afterward, he had
five shillings remaining of his sovereign,
and he liked his frugal diet SO well that
he kept it up for over two years, possi-
bly, longer. Twelve cents day is GER
tainly small amount to eXpend for
food; but q man in Minnesota, about
three years ago, worried through a
whole yearon $40. He lived on ''John-
ny cake"
We know of a theological student in
an Ohio college who, sustained by grace,
rice and corn bread, lived thirteen
weeks on 81; but there were several
good apple orchards near the college
and the farmers kept no dogs. It is not
the necessities of life that cost much, but
the luxuries; and it is with the major
part of mankind as it is with the French
man who said that if he had the luxu-
ries of life, he could dispense with the
necessities. Mere living is cheap, but.
as the hymnologist says, at is not all
of life to live. "-IHe 4Americae Miller.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
Young Ladies Badly Mixed,

The editor of the Storm Lake Pilot is
an easy, graceful writer, careful withal,
but he has forman addicted to smok-
ing. Recently the editor visited a herd
of short-horns and wrote them up. The
same week there was a concert given by
a few young ladies of the city. The
editor wrote this up also in his most
tiowery style, but the smoking foreman
who had been using tobacco very freely
before making up the forms mixed up
the two editorials, and they read as FOL
lows:
.uThe concert given last evening by sixteen
of Storm Lakes most beautiful and interesting
young ladies was highly appreciated. They
were elegantly dressed and sang in most
charming manner, winning the plaudits of the
finest short-horns in the county. few of
them are Of q rich brown color, but the matort
ty are spotted brown and white. Several OF
the heifers weighed as high as fifteen hundred
pounds fine bodied, tight-limbed animals, and
promise to prove good breeders. They are said
to be excellent mixers, and as high as twenty.
five pounds OF butter have been made from
one In q single week."
1t may be unnecessary to add that the
luckless editor had to face a ''storm of
indignation from Storm Lakes most
beautiful and interesting young ladies, y
and the foreman has sworn never to
touch tobacco in any form again
T Cherokee (IODG) Times.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
Western ''Help.n

I have had much trouble and annoy,
ance on account of incompetent servant
girls, (says aWestern woman, and have
about given up the hope of procuring
one. My experiences have been varied.
Last fall engaged a nymph called Cleop-
atra. She wanted twenty-seven dollars
per-month, and the use of the piano. I
was SO sure that she was a good girl
that engaged her. Cleopatra had so
many lovers that we had to move the
sofa into the kitchen on Sundays, and
do as best we could without it. We
wanted to throw all the home influences
we could around Cleopatra, so that she
would feel perfectly cheerful and like
one of the family. She used to wear my
dresses when was away, but when I
asked her to let me wear her wardrobe
she seemed hurt, and her whole system
was churned up by convulsive sobs. By
and-by my dresses got very shabby, as
the result of continuous wear by Cleopa-
ira and myself, and SO she got discon-
tented, and went away. Then got \
nice girl from Nebraska; but just as she
had learned to make a pie that would
yield to the softening influence of time,
she married miner. Then secured
girl from the old country. She couldn't
speak the English language 1uently, and
so we didn't have very sociable time
of it. When 1 would tell her to wash
the dishes, she would generally black
the stove, or bring in hod of coal.
Finally she poured a plateful OF hot soup
in my husbands lap, and the proceeding
caused a lasting GOODNESS between them
which resulted in separation. After
that got a hollow-eyed girl from Fort
Collins She was an orphan, with pale
hair, that she used to work up in the
hash. She was proud and impulsive in
her nature, and ate everything in the
house. We used to hear her in the mid
die of the night. foraging around after
cold pie and fragments of rich and ex-
pensive food. She had singular yesrn-
ing for jam, and an impassioned longing
for preserves, that we never succeeded
in quenching. When the jelly and fruit
cake gave out, she would sadly turn her
attention to cold ham and mustard, with
the smouldering ruins of baked beans
and cold cabbage and vinegar. We
stood it till groceries came up SO, and
apples were seven dollars and a half a
barrel, and then we asked her to send in
her resignation. Now 1 do my own
work.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23

Probably no other forms Of accidene
or injury come upon as so unexpectedly
as those due to excessive cold. As q
general thing we are not aware that q
part is being frozen until the mischief is
already done. This is due to the fact
that one of the effects of severe cold is to
destroy the scnsitiveness of the parts ex-
posed. Surgeons make use of this fact
in small operations and cool the parts
by artificial cold. The ears, the nose,
sometimes the cheeks and the hands and
feet are the parts most liable to be froz-
en-. One of the first effects of freezing
is to stop the circulation of the blood,
and any part in which the circulation is
checked by other means is all the more
likely to be frozen. The old-fashioned
seates, held on by numerous tight straps
across the feet, are dangerous on this
straps are drawn so tightly as to impede
the circulation in tho feet, and frost-bit-
ten feet are often the consequence
Though the operation of freezing is pain
less, a sudden thawing is attended with
inflammation and great pain. The thaw-
ing should be very slow in order that the
circulation in the parts may be restored
gradually. For this reason it is advised
to rub the frozen parts with snow, or in
the absence of that with water made as
cold as possible with ice. It is said that
in Russia, when one observes that an
others face or nose is being frozen, it is
IN act of common politeness to catch up
a handful Of snow and apply 1t; to the
face Of the unfortunate. even if he is a
perfect stranger. In cases of severe
freezing. besides gradual thawing by
the use of snow or Ice, q physician
should be. called, as it may be that prop
er precautions are needed to prevent
modification of the parts. It, is not
necessary for the feet to be actually
frozen to produce chilblains.' The term
frost-bitten il usually applied to such
cases. Children often suffer greatly
froms getting their feet very cold and
then going to the fire to warm them.
The circulation is disturbed and the
parts remain exceedingly sensitive to
future changes of cold and heat. Chill
blains vary from slight Inflammation
to severe cases in which the skin breaks
and even ulcers are formed. OF course,
such cases require professional treat
ment- To allay intense itching and
pain of ordinary chilblains, q great num-
Der of applications have been used. An
ounce Of sulphate of zinc (whte vitrfoD,
in pint of water, or an ounce of sal
ammoniac dissolved in half pint each
of vinegar and alcohol are among the
washes often used. 1t Is stated on good
authority, though we have not had oc-
casion to try it, that the application of
ordinary kerosene oil is very efficacious
in allaying the itching and pain.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
Six Hugging Machines in Full Blast,

The man who has a family of abou,
six blooming daughters is often looked
upon as happy man. What a delusion
Consider six new bonnets and six new
silk dresses every change of season.
Think of coming home from the lodge,
or somewhere. and finding six cigar
stubs adjoining the front stoop; twelve
muddy footprints adorning the Railways
and six pug-headed canes ornamentine
the hat-rack. Imagine six hugging ma.
chimes in full blast, and terrible six.
ply quarrel in the morning. as to whose
turn it was to have the parlor. Think
of encountering lovers in the parlor. in
the hall, on the stairs, in the dining.
room, in the kitchen, even! If this isn't
too utterly utter, what isP
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
Cigar-Stubs and Opium.

l ran across a cigarette factory the
\ other day. Whew! 1 wouldn't write
or. rather, you wouldn't dare print what
Isaw. Dirty butts of cigars fresh from
the filth of the muddy streets are the
cleanest and incest of the material used
in compiling these precious roads to
ruin. l came down town on Madison
avenue car recently, and on the tail end
there were three little chaps, the oldest
about IA. Each smoked a cigarette and
spat his little life away. 1 ventured to
ask if they enjoyed the odor. They
said they did. And the taste? Certain
ly. On inquiring. found they had q
well-known brand of cigarette, noted
for its ''opium soak'' and its terrible
smell when burning. Poor little devils.
They can't last long, They were pale
and sickly, puny and offensive. What
They're men already in their own eyes.
They and majority of our little lads
are full Of slang of the day, up in all the
catches, and abundantly able to hold I'D
their end of a conversation. I subse-
quently saw these three boys in Niblo's
Garden. 1t would have done you good
to hear them talk. A blind man might
reasonably think he was listening tn
three old men. Nothing was new. They
had seen it all before, and better done
at that. Down went the curtain, out
went the boys, but before they felt the
first breath of the fresh air from the
street each puny hand held a cigarette
to the vile-smelling mouth, and puff!
puff! they sickened everybody in their
vicinity. This is an old grievance of
mine, and don't care to bore YOU with
it, but feel it keenly.
Day by day vice grows stronger.
There was time when cigarette smok-
ing was confined almost entirely to Gu
bans, who knew what good tobacco was
and made their own cigarettes. Gradu-
ally the habit spread. Dealers followed
suit. Makers became unscrupulous.
Little dirty boys were sent ont to pick
up cigar stumps. Other equally disgust
ing material was also utilized. Opium
was made to do duty. Cheap paper
took the place of rice paper. wish
these boys could see the stuff their paper
is made from? Wouldn't it turn their
little stOmachs? I trow, i trow. The
cheap paper, the old stumps, the opium,
and the chemicals used to make them
''strong" deserve to be shown up Pa
rents have no influence with their sons.
Why notp Because they smoke cigars
or pipes themselves. The boys charge
all the good advice they get to their
fathers desire to keep them down.
There is but one way to deal with Ameri.
can boys. Reason with them through
their eyes. If every nicotined stomach
was made public, if every time fellow
died of too much cigarette the fact was
made known, if the proud boys could be
shown rag factory and stump grind
cry, it seems to me the cigarette business
would be wound up very soon.-Joseph
Hos0ard TN the Philadelphia Times.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
A Cattle Mans Little Farm

The ranches of Cattle King" Powers,
all making up river frontage of eigh-
teen miles and including number of
very productive meadows, are situated
on the south side of the Arkansas, and
are all under fence. Directly opposite
these, beginning ut Fort Lyon and reach
ing down the river Il distance of twenty
two miles and extending back far enough
to include an expanse OF $4,000 acres. is
another pasture under fence, the titles for
which are in the same name. Here.
then, are forty miles of water front and
1000 acres of pasture under fence, all
owned by one man. The fencing on
these ranches will sum up over 100
miles. Northward to, and even beyond
the Kansas Pacific, and southwark to
Cimmarron and beyond into the Pan
Handle of Texas Craze his cattle, more
than 1900 i'm number.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
,~ A Young Mothers Brilliant idea.

A certain young mother In this com
munity had been reared in luxury and
was lacking in practical knowledge.
The other day she undertook to give tho
child bath in small foot-tub. The
lady's mother. who lives with her, pass
ing through the room, dipped her finger
in the water and told her daughter it
was too cold for the little one and that
she would have to warm it. Instead of
adding little warm water, she placed
the bath-tub, with the baby in it. on
small gas-stove, and waited for further
developments. The developments came
as soon as the bottom of the tub began
to get extra warm. The offspring gave
one yell, when the fond mother, grand
mother, and two servants rushed to the
rescue. In the future grandmother
will look after the child while the moth
er reads up on the cares of mother and
how to bring up children.-Kingston
Freeman.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
"a Laugh is Worth a Hundred aroausv'
BY JOSEPHINE POLLARD

We often meet upon the street
A friend 1t Is joy to greet,
Whose kindly smile and words OF cheer
Bid gloomy shadows disappear.
He does not show the marks of woe,
Or of his trials let us know,
Nor yet perform an actors part
To keep us distant from his heart.
When he is near we have no fear,
Or thought, that he is insincere,
So much of truth is in his gaze,
So frank and cordial are his ways.
With mirthfIIl charms he soon disarms !
Us of our sOrrows and alarms,
And says, in bright, electric tones:
"a laugh is worth u hundred groansr'
We turn away to bid "Good-day''
To one who comes in sad array,
With heightened v1sage, and the air
That Sorrows children always wear.
There is no mirth around his hearth.
He adds not to the joys of earth,
And fails to comprehend the jokes
Ofmerry, laughter-loving folks.
His touch is cold as churchyard mold,
Without word his griefs are told;
And few are anxious to attend
His steps, or own him as u friend.
Life's sunny glow they never know
Who thus i'm sombrc livery go,
And ever stubbornly endure
The ills u hearty laugh might cure.
More blest are they-the glad and gay
Who scatter sunshine on their way;
Whose heads in grief not long are bowed ;
Who see the light through every cloud.
The heart must bear its weight of care,
And of life's troubles have share.
OF what avail these mournful mOans?
"a laugh Is worth a hundred groansP'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
How to Sleep in a Sleeping-Car.

1. Get berth in the fore part of the
car. This is because the pure air comes
in at the front end and windows. l al
ways take the front upper birth. My
reason for taking the upper berth is be-
cause it is freely ventilated and away
from the hot pipes. 2. Have your berth
made up head toward the engine. This
will keep all draughts of air from your
head and prevent taking cold. If the
car is very tight put lead pencil under
the window at your feet in case of lower
berth; or, in case of the upper berth,
open the hind sky window at your feet
5. Fix your pillow in one corner of your
berth, and your feet in the other. By
lying crosswise you will not roll in youl
6axtk.-Hofe( Reno4feT, -
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
The Whip Snake of Texas.

Recently at about twilight, a daughter
of Mr.. Kraus went out in search of pet
dog that had strayed into the bush in
the western portion of the city suburbs.
Wandering about among the bush, she
was suddenly attacked by snake known
as the ''whip SNAKE" that enlaced her
form and would have eventually caused
strangulation had it not been for the ar
rival of her father, who heard her cries.
The snake was killed, and measured 81
feet in length.-Sa,s Anatomio Express.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
A Beautiful Hand.

A beautiful hand is an excellent thing
in woman; il is u charm that never fails,
and better than all, it is means of fas-
cination that never disappears. Women
carry beautiful hand with them to the
grave, when beautiful face has long
ago vanished or ceased to enchant. The
expression of the hand, too, is isinexhausti-
BILE; and when the eyes we may have
worshipped no longer flash or sparkle,
the ringlets with which we may have
played are covered with cap, or worse,
a turban, and the symmetrical presence
which in our sonnets has reminded us so
oft of antelopes and of wild gazelles,
have all, all vanished, the hand, the i'm
mortal hand, defying alike time and
care, still vanquishes and still triumphs;
and small, soft and fair, by an airy at
titude, a gentle pressure, or a new ring,
renews with untiring grace the spell that
bound our enamored and adoring youth.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23

The last legal execution in England
for witchcraft occurred in 1716, but in
1868 reputed wizard was drowned in a
pond at the village of Rockingham, in
Essex, not forty miles from London;
while in 1867 ''Dr. Harris was COM
mitted for trial at the Radnorshire as
sizes for duping persons into the belief
that their ailments were caused by their
being ''witched." and for protesting to
cure them by giving them charms to
Xser sgspepded round their Aecke 80
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
The Easy Way.

An old lady in the country had a
dandy from town to dine with her on q
certain occasion, and on the table was
an enormous apple pie. LA, madam"
said the gentleman, chow do you man.
age to made such pie. -"Ss
Easy enough" was the reply. ''We
make the crust in wheelbarrow, wheel
it under an apple tree, and then shake
fruit down into it.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23

The body of Martin Kinkowski, the
murderer recently hanged, has been
transferred from Weehawken cemetery
to the potter's field at Snake Hill, N. j.
The transfer was made because large
majority of the lot-owners in the ceme-
terry Indignantly protested against q
murderer being buried there. =
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23
Sumner's Joke,

Charles Sumner once said to a friend,
with whose statement about the wit
that abounded in Wendell Phillips or
dinary conversation he readily agreed:
s.Did you ever see joke in one Of my
speechesp'' His friend was forced to
give the expected denial. whereupon Mr..
Sumner replied: .Of course you never
did. You might - WaN lOok tpr q 10ke
- ~ R~A.Afoo sas2:H 80
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23

Said an auctioneer, "Come now, Ia
dies and gentlemen, these goods are ioa
sale. Will some body give me q bid
Anything, ladies and gentlemen. All !
want is an Offer" 'Alas! murmurea
an elderly woman in the crowd, ''that's
vhat ] Aayshsea sighin9t tez 81 NY We:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23

All the postal business of fully one in
forty people of the United States passes
through the New York office, which
handled during the last fiscal year an
average Of 164 tons Of mail matter daily,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1882-02-23

Those who are disposed to be uneasy
will never want something to be uneasy
about.