Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1882-02-16
THE BITERs BIT.

"Well, numi' exclaimed Uncle
Phil Wheeler, in his characteristic way,
finishing the speech with a prolonged
whistle.
"What's the matter ?"
s'Why your Aunt Susan's just bought
another bureau |"
The speakers were Philip Wheeler,
commonly called Phil. and his hand
some nephew, John Langdon. Uncle
Phil was standing under the big brown
horse-chestnut tree, whiting a new
handle for his hammer, when q hay
wagon containing bureau stopped be
fora the gate.
'sWhose bureaus that" demanded
Uncle Phil.
sits for Miss Wheeler" was the
answer. "She bought it Down at Squire
Thomas's auction"
.'Well, snum r.
John Langdon, just coming from the
wood-house, armed cap-a-pie, with rod
and line, heard the exclamation and in
quired the cause.
$50 Aunt Susan has bought another
bureau, has she?' he remarked after a
moments scrutiny of that awful piece
of household furniture. II say, Uncle
Phil, where is she going to put it%
Uncle Phil shook his head and re-.
newed his whiting.
'T'm blamed if know" he said at
last. 81 reckon twill have to step atop
of sumthing, for / don't believe there's
floor room for it in the house."
tive got three in my room now, and
I shall protest against fourth, y
laughed John. 'sAunt Susan" address
ing that lady, who appeared on the
piazza to superintend the removal of her
newly acquired treasure from the cart
to the house, "where are you going to
put that thing ?"
"Well, John, if You want it. why OF
course you can have it; but I did
think I'd put it in the buttery, it would
be SO handy"
by all MEANS" interrupted John ;
"the buttery is just the place for it
there are as many as I can occupy,
inasmuch as I only brought handbag
along on my little visit. If You were
to give me fourth, I should be re-
duced to the necessity of remaining in
bed in order to use it."
. "Oh, go away. you rogue r. cried his
aunt, looking lovingly at him; s'and
stop laughing at your old auntie. Here
your in alarm to the driver. "Take
care therel you'll have that leg off
Hold on to the glassl Mylmyl How
careless you bep
After much anxiety on Aunt Susan's
part, hairbreadth escapes on the bureaus
and good deal of harmless swearing,
such as 'I snum |" "by gollyl" etc., on
Uncle Phils, the old bureau was at last
safely deposited in the buttery, where
it took up just three inches more room
than it could with any degree of pro-
priety be accommodated with. Conse-
quently, being Of firm and unyielding
nature, sharp and uncompromising
corner was thrust obtrusively and
ofendingly out against which unwary
toes and unfortunate shins would In all
probability be frequently punished.
But Aunt Susan was not the woman
to go forth to meet trouble, and no
shadow rested upon her placid brow,
nor misgiyings annoyed OF made afraid.
The bureau was bargain, and that SUBJ
lime fact shed such halo of glory over
its somewhat battered surface as to COM
pletely put to rout the Inconvenience Of
its position. Next morning Aunt Susan
arose betimes, sent for the woman who
lived on the back road, and enjoyed q
day Of putting to rights" Those days,
in which she caused to be brought forth
from garret, cellar and hidden store
room treasures collected from auctions
> innumerable, were dear to her heart,
though abomination in the eyes of
Uncle Phil, who wandered around
amidst the household gods in bitterness
Of spirit.