Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1882-12-09
Hfr.AND HUuoI.


The maid who fingered by his AID.
Was all ,hs world 70 him.
The clock above the glowing gTa.s
Has stopped at halfpsst ten;
And long as that young manlniay nsi,
IL will NOT strike again.
The artfnl maiden tnovs.ull well
What makes the clock act -,
And why no earthly power can tell
The time for him to -.
Grown up Japanese women play with
polls. In this country, instead OF dolls,
pag dogs are used.
LsA: Pat" Ap''is it the next train
for Boston ye vsnts Fsith, that wint au
hosr ago, sorr.'
As estimated BY the Kentucky State
Journal, politics" is..one of ;he-mpst plu-
rally singular words in the English lan-
guSge.
Two hnnired.thousand' people sre asked
to contribute a nickel spiece..to build =
church in Texss 1t should lie called the
church of St. Nickel u.
Charles dear" she. murmured, as she
strolled along the other evening, and gszed
up At tie bejexelled .frmamenl, which is
Venus and which is Adonis."
A fellow who .vs. told by clergyman
that the wSges Of sin hadn't been cut down
one iota, remarked, Iots.hsye lsSrnsd that
trade long ago
While putting on clean shirt 4 Rsrt-
well, Ga, man fell ever trunf and broke
his collsr-bone But he say, hc Is going
to try i, again whsp be gets well.
81 pls by ere" wrote y 81. Louis bell.
to Chicago professor, who iImsiistel,
wrote her, saying that he believed she Alec
spelled that way.
Mistress to new cook" On Wednesdays
and Saturdays | shall 60 10 market with
you" New cook" Very we'd, nun, bus
who's sgoin TO carry the basket, mum -
Just because nan goes through the rain
without An umbrella it doesn't prove that
he is = philosopher It only shows that
somebody has appropriated Lis vsser saet.
The reason why voters scratch" y can
didate has been discovered BY the New Or
leans Picayune 1t is because he itohes too
much for Office.
The -hole pork or nothing Mis'rc" -
"Were you baptized, Kezish, when you
were nsmedY" Maid" Law, ma'sm, Ne
don't baptize in our church we immergs.
The only man who can button = new
collar to bis shirt without breaking his
thumb nail zad one of the commandments
is lie who employs his wife 30 do the job
Disadvantages Of honesty: nam At o.
maha fosnd % OK the street, and lie sdycr-
! tised the end to tie extent of a. and mSde
tie loser foot the bill. II il sometimes dis
agreeable " meet with ~ honest man.
Herbert Spencer SAYS that mans con-
versatioa n sure i1dsI ~ his mem
tai capacity. This iseIuemely severe upon
s man who has jsst caught the back OF his
trousers Oh = nail.
They were it dinner party, and he re-
msrked that he supposed she WAS fond OF
ethnology. She said she was, sat she rss
not very well, and the doctor had told her
not to eat anything for dessert but orsn-
gee.
Whenever you gee woman taking
straight at mas, and beginning to nod her
hesd aud keep time 10 it with her uprsised
index finger it is about time for somebody
to climb tree.
A New York paper pitics 2 poor man
."who died with TO doctor TO Aid him"
Don't see any reason to pity him. mss
ought 10 be able 20 do biz own dying with
out any assistance.
"The new Texas capitsl will cc,t = mil
lion and half dollars, and will be built by
q Detroit architect" From this We infer
that she estimate Of cost made by the a.
chitect is about $4,000.
A Chicago man has invented cast iron
tableware that looks just Ike porcelain, and
is in ecstacies when he sees a servant girl
drop half dozes cups and shrek with hor-
ror atobserVing their failure 20 break.
At recent railroad dinner, in compli-
ment e. the legal fraternity, the toast was
given -" An honest lawyer, the noblest
work Of God" but an old farmer in the
back part Of the hall rather spoiled the ef.
feet by 4iding, in a load voice, and about
/ the scarcest."
Il should like 20 havea coin dated the
year Of NY BIRTH" said maiden lady Of
uncertain age To male acquaintance.
Do you shink you could get one for me?'
81 AM afraid not" he replied. These
very old coins are only - be fosnd il vslu-
able collessi
The provision wade by e. H. Landes, Of
Mt. Carmel, Illinois, for his wife and chill
d.en took the form Of planting 10000
SalDuss, which with proper care, should