Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1882-07-06

many an evening little Rob begs to
have the Prince story" told over
again and somehow Tom enjoys it too
Ehrich's Quarterly.
The Cheerful Goat:
The town goat has the run of the
town. He is not domestic in his habits.
He is seldom ever seen asleep. The
goat is composed mainly Of horns, hair
and digestive organs. When not en-
gagged in butting the breath out OF some
member Of his own family, or peeling
the bark off the neighbers' fruit trees,
he may be found standing on an empty
beer keg, in front Of the corner grocery.
gleefully chewing wrapping paper and
empty sardine boxes. The town goat is
respected and feared by all who are
acquainted with his eccentricities of
character. He is very reliable animal.
He can be relied on. to eat weeks
washing, break several windows, and
pursue thirty-seven dogs in the adjoin-
ing yard all in one day, and not work
half the time. Policemen shoot at
him, boys try to discourage him with
stones, and housekeepers empty kettles
Of hot water on him. AS result OF
these assaults, he usually has chips and
splinters broken off him at every curve
and angle of his anatomy, yet withal he
is cheerful and frolicsome. His jaunty
tail gives him debonair and rakish ap-
pearance. that causes some people to
surmise that he isn't ali that he should
be, but they judge him too hastily, as
people Of strong preiudices are prone
to do.
These remarks about the goat are
suggested by an incident that happened
last week to an old party named Nc
Whirter, who lives in Wisconsin. and
who owns goat. Old man McWhirter
lives on an oatmeal diet and the interest
Of his money. On Monday evening OF
last week, Mr.. McWhirter was out in
the yard feeding the COW. He had
taken off his coat and laid it on the
fence. In the pocket OF his coat was a
morocco pocket-b book containing govern
ment bonds to the amount of $4,000.
Why Mr.. McWhirter carried the bonds
in his pocket instead OF placing them
in the safe, we were not told. When
he had attended to the wants of the COW
and turned to get his coat, he found
that garment lying in the mud. The
goat had pulled it off the fence, and
now stood balancing himself on the
roof Of the chicken coop. As he came
within the range of McWhirter's vision,
and rock that the old man propelled
in his direction. be was in the act Of
masticating what was evidently the
remnant of red morocco pocket-book.
As the awful and disastrous character
of the misfortune dawned on McWhir-
ter, and he realized that his two thou
sand dollars in bonds were fled away in
the digestive machinery Of four dol
lar goat, he gave vent to his feelings in
q yell that sounded like the wall Of
bagpipe leading a funeral procession !;
and with dismay in every feature and a
three-tined hay-fork in his hand, he
went for that goat. The goat decided
not to wait for him. He did not tarry,
but proceeded-with celebrity and
buoyancy that was miraculous in four
legged animal-to put large area Of
the landscape between himself aud his
owner. The goat went streaking down
the street, the irrascible old man, coat
less and hatless, in full cry in his wake.
As the pageant came tearing alo-g, the
goat bleating derisive defiance and
old McWhirter waving the hay fork in
the ambient cleaning and calling on
the populace to sshead off that 50, 900
bond, /" pedestrians crawled up on the
fences, hack-drivers drove into alleys,
until the procession passed. McWhirter
fell over two baby buggies, entangled
his hay.fork in an alderman's ear, and
was several times tripped up by police
men, who thought he was crazy man,
for they couldn't understand why any
one could take SO much absorbing
interest in an ordinary goat that could
be bought any day at $50 a dozen.
McWhirter stopped not, neither did he
stay his footsteps, but after each delay
increased his speed. and renewed his
| importunate petitions to the passers-by
| to ssstop the pirate |" "catch the incen-
diary thiefI" etc, etc. Over shruberry
| il front gardens, and ont through back
yard gates. they kept on their mad
career. until 81 last the goat was cor
rallied in stable. A butcher was sent
| for. and, under instructions from Mr..
Nc Whirter, cut the goats throat and
then pried him open with an axe.
Inside him was fonnd an assort-
ment Of clothes pins. MANILA paper,
hay, underclothing, child's shoe, and
piece OF broken mirror, but there
was no trace Of the u. s.. bonds.
!, , McWhirter tried to swear. but emotion
choked his utterance. he directed the
butcher to give the remains TO the poor,