The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1882-04-08
BACHELORS VS.. MARRIED MEN.

We happened to run across a flock of
married men grouped together in a cor
ner in a saloon, last evening, and all be-
wailing the trials and tribulations which is
visited upon the shoulders of family men.
As they told OF the many, many sleep
less nights they passed nursing sick in
fants, tears flowed from their optics. As
soon as one would finish his sad tale Of
woe and trouble, they would all about face
to the big mirror behind the counter, and
sadly swallow something to prop up their
declining spirits. Each father told his
pitiful story, and it appeared that each
one endeavored to relate the more sorrow
full tale. These sad accounts given by
themselves of the sore affection of mar
ried men so aroused the warm impulses
within our bosom, that we lent our aid
in assisting them to drown their sorrow.
How different is the lot of bachelor?
He is not compelled to prance up and
down the room all night with sick babe
in his arms, that is endeavoring to dis
turb the whole neighborhood by yelling
as loud as it can. Neither is he COM
PEELED to perform the difficult task of Civ
ing the babe its medicine. This is the
most annoying deed that has fallen to
the lot of fathers Notwithstanding that
the youngster had its mouth wide opened,
believing all the while, just as soon as
the time arrives for it to take its medi-
cine, it will close its mouth, and it gener-
ally requires the use of crow-bar to pry
it open. But fathers seldom resort to
the method. They sit on chair,
with the little one on their lap, and will
try to coax the child into opening its
mouth by talking baby talk to it for an
hour. But this does no good, and the
beads of perspiration commencing to APP
pear on the fathers forehead, the poor
man starts in swearing, but this accomp-
fishes nothing more than the coaxing did.
Growing desperate, and with an oath, as
the last resort, the father will grab the
babes nose and chin with his fingers and
pull its mouth open, when he reaches for
the medicine, but again he gets it to the
little ones mouth, that hole is closed as
| tight as ever. After several fruitless eff
forts of this kind, dropping the little one
on the floor several times during the me-
lee, the father succeeds in getting the
medicine into the baby's ear. During all
this performance the baby will not utter
a whimper, but on learning it has tired
out the old man, it will open its mouth
and yell as loud as ever. We would sug-
gest to fathers, who are compelled to adj
minister medicine to their babes, the fol-
lowing method: Take a syringe, draw
the medicine into it, then cover the end
of the apparatus with sugar and place it
to the babes mouth. Owing to the sweet
taste, the child will take the end of the
syringe into its mouth, then the father
will inject the contents This plan may
strange the child, but the medicine will
always go to the right place. No patent
has been applied for, and all fathers have
the privilege of using this invention.
The bachelor suffers no such hardship.
When he retires at night he has no dread
of being kicked out of warm bed and
forced to nurse a sick child, nor dream Of
a big doctors bill to pay No; he turns
his face heavenward with his hands
folded cross his bosom, and sleeps the
sleep of the righteous, just and virtuous
until he arises next morning BLESSED
is he who is bachelor.