St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1882-07-21

New YORK, July Ia.

NEW 1Okh, July ii, IcCS.
Old sailors are usually ingenious and
honest. l am sorry to have to record
unusual dishonesty, combined with
ingenuity of a high order, on the part
of an ancient mariner. He had retired
into the easy berth of .ianitOr to a
bank, and employed his leisure in de-
vising plans to gather in money. He
managed to rig machine through old
gas pipes, with pulleys and fishing
lines, and a little lead greenback hook,
baited with cObbler's wax, by which he
scooped in several hundred dollars be-
fore he was caught. Meantime, two
paying tellers, who couldn't balance
their cash, were dismissed, took to
drink and died.
Pool-selling has, so the police say,
been driven out of Gotham. happen
to know it isn't, but it certainly isn't
carried on openly. The main business
has been transferred to Long Island
City just across the East river, and
there has been war ever since. The
last result was the firing out on the
sidewalk of an editor who wrote against
the gamblers, and little fsticuffs
where a judge got black eye, an edi-
tor had his nose smashed, and sundry
civil magnates got variously damaged.
So exciting are horse matters.
Mysterious sounds awoke good and
smart citizen the other night. Ring
ing an alarm to the nearest district
telegraph station, he seized revolver
and awaited events. In two minutes
appeared a force of police, commanded
by a captain of the precinct in person.
Signals were made by the nightcapped
| figure at the window, and the house
was surrounded, several of ''the finest"
tearing their clothes as they disturbed
cats in their scrambles over back
yard fences. Finally the bluecoats
moved on the enemy. The burglar
was found. He had evidently been
very hungry for he had eaten a mosqui-
to bar and part of some lace curtains,
and in trying to worry the latter down
his throat had kicked out pane of
glass in the parlOr window. 1t was a
goat.
Talking of burglars, they have man
aged to walk into good many of the
possessions of Hon. Hugh Hastings,
the veteran editor of the Commercial
Advertiser who, like good many more
very smart people, omitted to take the
precautions that even stupid people
! find to be necessary. His visitors took
it easy, made a nice selection of just
what they wanted, drank with discrim-
nation his choicest wines, smoked his
pet cigars and evidently had a real
good time. Another gang robbed a
bank under the very nose of the news
paper Office where Waterman went
round every fifteen minutes. Electric
bells communicating with neighbOrs'
houses would play the mischief with
such marauders and even in country
places might be relied on, nine cases
out of ten, to bring ample assistance.
The rumpus in Egypt interests a
good many people who are posted in
foreign politics, though so far it has
had little effect on the stock or produce
exchanges. Freights have gone up,
however, and when it is realized that
| the probabilities are that another great
war, with all the old world folks tax
ing hand in is imminent, we shall
see some fun here. If other people
choose to fight instead of working,
we'll do the work and charge them well
for the produce. With the big crops
expected this harvest and big mark
ct abroad we may expect Il boom in
everything. RADIX.