davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01
Too Conscientious for Doctors Boy.

loo conscientious tor q Doctors Boy.
A physician ought to be especially
careful in the selection of servant.
This servant should not be dressed in
black. for that would be too suggestive,
but in garments of neutral tints, the
symbol of uncertainty. He ought not
to be the possessor Of a cadaverous Wis
age, lest he give the impression that
those who enter the doctors Office must
abandon hope. Neither should he be
forid and round. as though sickness
was not a serious thing. He should
occupy the golden mean between the
gay and the grave. He ought not,
moreover, to be excessively truthful,
lest he injure the practice of his en-
ployer. We have heard of servant
who was wholly unfit for his position
simply because he positively could not
tell a lie. A stranger who had sudden
illness at home asked. ..Is the doctor
imp" ':No, SIR" was the quick reply.
''Tell me. has the doctor great many
patients?' The servant became pale,
but slowly and solemnly replied. :.Not
many living, sir.'' Then the stranger
turned sadly away and sought doctor
whose servant has less resemblance to
the Father of his country. Rubber
Era.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01
Gush,

1t is not alone in poetry that Will S.
Hay turns his soul wrong side out and
shakes it al the world. Over the recent
appointment of steamboat captain he
says: '.As the magnificent and maies-
tic steamer glides up the mighty Missis-
sippi, like q graceful, swan-like thing
of life, Capt. Jack will walk her hurri-
cane roof with Falslaffian stride, the
observed Of all Observers the mon.
arch of all he surveys and as he pulls
the string that will tickle the silver
tongued, loud-voiced bell, sending
forth its warning voice upon the breezy
with pride. and his bright, beamine
eyes sparkle with pride and -satisfac-
ton, and his jolly, good humored face
put on such smiles US will make it look
like q full young May moon in total
eclipse"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01
"oook-a-D Doodle Small"

There lived q bantam rooster on farm not Pa.
away,
So naughty and pulled up, as I've heard the
That from morning until the evening he would
strut the country round,
And crow aloud self praises as he stepped
along the ground:
I'm Chanticleer Grandissimo, my pedigree is
fine,
Oh who can show such yellow claws or such q
Where some have one tail feather, am proud
~ waving two,
And have an extra doodle to my cock-a-doo-
dle-dOO -
The other ROSTERS in the barn-yard talked the
matter DER,
The little upstart really was becoming quite
At last handsome game-cock volunteered to
taught to know his place;
ltgoes against the grain, my friends, to whip
thing so small,
But since it's for our peace of mind why
duty first of all!'
noble bird
Than up came little Bantie, with his naughty,
scOrnful word.
golden in the light;
Loud cried the tiny rooster in his coat Of
snowy white:
Just t step aside side and let your beters pass I'll
"We've all right here" mild replied the own
er of the spurs
Oh, then the bantam tiptoed round: "What's
that heard you say?
I'm Chanticleer Grandissimo!'-ah! in the
dust he lay.
Above him stood the game-cock Ikea giant in
his might,
And round him all the other fowls rejoicing in
his fright.
And while he still lay, giddy, with his dainty
claws in air,
He was forced to hear a lecture from the other,
then and there;
And, greatly to the credit of the silly little
bird,
He changed his manner afterward and needed
every word.
MY name is Cock-a-doodle Small,'' he meekly
learned to say;
He minded his own business nor rot in others
way.
So in our world we sometimes find Grandissi-
mos, and all
Would do well to recall the fate of Cock-a-
doodle Small.
&c. L. Burnham, in Wide-AWake.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01
Too Innocent for Anything.

We have Dominic Sampson redivsvus
in we'll known geologist of this state,
who was employed to make an examin.
alton of certain mining property. He
did his work and made his report in
the most satisfactory manner, and re-
ceived q large check for his services.
About month afterward he made his
appearance at the Office of the mining
company. check in hand. as he had re-
ceived it, and asked the cashier if he
would be kind enough to give him some
money. 'Why," was the answer, ..did
you not indorse the check and get the
money at the bank?' because /
thought that it was merely certificate
that you owed me so much. and that l
was to call upon you when was short"
The office-boy, no doubt, believed this
man was fool, and yet he was only an
illustration Of the fact that knowledge
often travels in one deep channel, in
stead of spreading out in many shallow
streams. Boston Courier.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01
A Dainty Old Woman.

The drivers on the long lines Of the
Western stages pick up an occasional
Joke. and they never forget them. One
recently had judge and an old woman
for fellow passengers. The Judge is q
smoker and was aching for his cigar.
When he politely asked her if it would
be offensive. she said: Eyes, cigar
smoke makes me sick" When they
reached the station he stood outside
putting and shivering. When he
stepped inside he found tho old girl sit
ting before the Fireplace putting away
ct an old black pipe. He growled his
growl, but she insisted that she couldn't
stomach cigar smoke. though she could
revel In pipe.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01

Rev. T. Dewitt Talmage, in a re-
recent sermon at the Brooklyn taber-
nacle on the character of the newspaper
press of the present day, said that 1.-The
grandest temporal blessing that God
has given :his generation is the news
paper. Ipray for all editors
and publishers
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01

The fox-hunting expenditure Of Ire
land Is reckoned as amounting in the
aggregate to. about q. SOC. 600 year.
This Me-. Parnell has now stopped SO
lar O. he can.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1882-02-01


plants made against him by Delilah e.
Shroyer, charging him with being the
father of her two bastard children
one born Aug. Is, 1879, and the other
born March l. 1881. He was found
guilty, and ordered to pay $500 in each
case, which he refused to do, and went
! to jail.
A young student was asked by his
sweetheart, who had an uncommonly
thick head of hair. what he thought of
it, and absently answered he thought it
would present a fine field for the study
of natural history. They were never
married.
Lay off your overcoat, or you won't
feel it when you 60 out. said land
lord of a Western inn to a guest who
was sitting by the fire. CHATS what
I'm afraid of, returned the man. .sThe
last time I was here laid off my over
coat. didn't feel it when went out,
and 1 haven't felt it since.''
This COMPOUNDED slang does raise the
very mischief. When handsome
young wife went to a hardware store to
get one of those wooden contrivances
to smash potatoes. and said, II want q
masher," every man in the shop, from
the boss to the Office boy. started to at
tend her.
A fond uncle, who is travelling home
with his nephew, very small boy, says
to him: II dare say when I take you
home again, Charlie. your mamma will
have nice present for you. What
would you like best, my boy, q
little brother or q little sister,"
Charlie CATER some. hesitation)
We'll, il 1t makes no difference to
ma, + d rather have little pony
II maintain, > cried Mr.. Quill hopper,
excitedly, s'that no man has been IN
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24

"Gooa people,. quoth the bandit chief. As he derailed the train, "i am the great converted ehici- Come. SIT. your watch and cham ,- I've seen the error of my wkys-
 Your bracelets. madam. please Acd find that my conversion pays- No. sir. keep your keys I'll take your Ioeket, nia'an, and purse; God bless yoa noH YQur rings. Seu know the pretty Bible verse
 About wealth taking W!nss = No~. sir. hand out your pocket book May heavens blcssInEs rest Upon sour lifo--l II take iook
 AFcand inside your vest 'WhA should ye cling to earthly dross- That wallet ID vour boot = Mn, should ye mourn financial loss, Of rvi all. the root .- Hold Up yoIr hands Hand u,C these rolls /, On -- half sunk n Neat gam. if mankind lose iheir soul c saXe d little in "kox take yoaF seats, snd do noi move Cu,il I'm out ol sight, Fr2N eyer to the God of love =
 Ina, necklace, ma am, tha, s Tight - Repent your sins Hand me the mai And treasure, or I'll shoot = This V orid IS but fearful vale
 GooG-by l guess lli Scooi''
 -D,ate,l Tyaeeieri' .Hssa;sse.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24
The True Wife.
fExchange.,

The true wife not only has the conf- dence of her husband, but the affairs in her especial care flourish like garden in height of summer: all things beautiful spring from her touch, and he enjoys the blessing of her tact and taste, without fully re.lizing how it comes. She io~es the praise of her husband, which should not be stineed and she is desirous to share in his life-woEk; and his confidence and esteem is all the reward she asks. She vil never oveztax his income, for she knows how much 1t Is; and her share oi t n always vel expended, and, altAoegh she nay someimes long for n increase of worldly geods, she never reRsoAcAes him vAen Ae is diligens and does his besl b maintain his family in ease and com fost.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24
The Memphis & Little Rock By
 OFFERS THE SHORTEST. QUICKEST AND BEST ROUTE!
 To all points in the EAST AND SOUTHEAST 1

REMEMBER: It is I4s miles shorter and aS hours quicker to ChastAnooga and all points in Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, and the Carolinas. than via any other route.
 PULLMAN SLEEPIxc CARS leave Little Rsck daily for Louisville without change, connecting with solid train having Pullman Sleeper, Louisville to Washington ~ithoyf change.
 Only one change of cars from Lifsle Rock to Cincinnati, Washing1on, Columbus, Pisis- burg, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Baltimore aud New York Through cars, Memphis 10 Lynchburg and fron Chasta- Aooga to New York without change.
 Fares by this popular route always as low e qnosed hy otheriine4- Doat fad to see or addresa,
 .SAM 9. ADAMS, TEtAgt,L Listle Roek, ely, II. H.C.nAIR,eAS, ,TEtAet, ,I3nle Rock ,aspes T. c 5. Q. sosEsfs, ;sssi ifs A's''S'' 's
 Gen- Passsgr asd Tft Agt-
 LltiJe Roek, Ara
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24

The first nine-inch shot which struck the Albemarle staggered doren men and made dozen others cry out have talked with fifty different men who have fought on board of rams or iron-clads, and all agree that the sound of heavy shot striking the iron armor is something that has no comparison. The heavier the wood backing the less echo there is when struck. but the jar of every shot is plainly felt all over the craft. To the noise of the enemy's shot is added the fire of the heavy guns aboard, and it Is no wonder that some men are made deaf for days after wards
 At one time during the fight of the Al bemarle she received from thirty-hve to forty shots per minute Men who had cotton in their ears compared the si,ua- ton to one being in cavern and hear ing thunderstorm raging outside. Those whose ears were wide open were almos, dcafened, and the flame of well-tnnmed lamps died away and was totally ex,in- guished under the outside pounding. This fight accidentally revealed the fac, that one who placed small pellet of cot ton in each car and some substance in his mouth to keep his teeth apart, suffered the least of all. This same thing was af- ,erwards tried on board of federal mortar schooners, and took away much of the unpleasant sensation.
 When il IS remembered that Albemarle received over 300 heavy shot and shell and was struck by vessel steaming a, the rate of eleven miles an hour, 1t seems wonderful that she suffered so little dam age. The muzzles of both her guns were injured by being struck by sho, as they were run out, but not enough to cripple them. She had three plates of her armoi cracked. her smoke-stack somewhat dam aged and one of her pou-shut,ers badly dented. but so far as her injuries went and so far as the guu-boais had the pow. CT to damage her, she could have main tained the fight throughout whole day Not man was killed, and only two o, three slightly wounded by fragments oi iron entering one of the ports. Thai wooden gun-boats dared lay alongside an iroo-plafed ram and fight her for hours was of itself a wonderful thing, and that chill-end nine inch shot could be hurled at the ram from distance of 900 feet and scarcely leave dent in her armor was a lesson in navel warfare eagerly accepted by every navy in the world.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24

homec the pleasant shade aside from the plain of turmoil
  originality humo GENUINE AMERICAN JOURNAL a it
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24

not show scars of the fight, and yet she had no killed or wounded to report. Had the lass shot which came aboard of her no, been turned aside al the last moment by a plank ended up by a previous shot, i, would have entered her boiler and pro- duced the same terrible results as on board the Sassacus.
 The Commodore Hull fired over eighty shot at the ram, at least sixty of which struck, and yet in return she was not even fired at and consequently received not the least damage. Just before the close ol the fight the Hull closed in within pistol shQt and sent nine or ten shell square against the ram's port shutters, but failed to indict any damage. One solid shot which she fired at the ram bounded about 6ffy feet into che air, and in its fall il aighted on the stern Of the ram and rolled into the sea.
 The federal gun-boat Miami was armed with . spar and torpedo, and twice during the tight she made efforts to reach the ram and blow her up. The design was foiled both times by the easy manne, in which the Albemazie vas worked, and becaused her piloes had been warned u advance that the Miami was thus pre-. pared. Finding that her shoe at muskes range bounded oG the ram like peas iron pane of giass, the gUnboat sesAmed uI % close that m apple could have beel tossed aboard and 0en poured in shc and shell as fase q her gum cnu1d h' worked. Not oae of the missils eveu entered the outer armox of the strang' mo0See1. while Some Of them hroke ii
The Arkansaw traveler., 1882-12-24
FRANK JAMES IN THE ROLE OF
 CONVERT.

BY STANLEY NrLsY.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

Mr.. MELLIs will close his store
to-day to get ready for his grand
opening tomorrow. Those of our
readers who have anything to pur-
chase in that line will do we'll to
wait and see the beautiful and dur
able articles which he will show
when he opens. Amongst them we may
mention the fans and laces, some of
which from their quality and cheap
ness will astonish the ladies of Ho-
nolulu; also the Whitby jet jewelry
and the Christmas gifts.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
POLICE cOURT-DECEMsER Z.
CRIMINAL DOCKET.

William Mason. - Fast riding,
found guilty and fined S5, costs 81.
Kaia, young boy, charged with
larceny Of 81 at Fish-market, as the
boys parents were not present the
case was rcmandcd until Saturday.
Geo. Marble. on Lauka
(ch), found not guilty and dis
charged.
All Nee (ch). Violating Rule 6
Regulations for Licensed Carriages,
found guilty and fined S3 costs ST..
John Watson. Violating Rule 3
Regulations for Licensed Carriages,
forfeited u bail of SO.
Kainoa and Akika--Drunkcnness.
Both found guilty find each So costs
81,
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
YESTERDAY morning Capt. Morrill,

YESTERDAY morning Capt. Morrill,
captured 166 tins of opium on the
barkcntine Discovery. They were
the property of the second mate who
was promptly arrested. We are in
formed on the best authority that
the second mate, when he found the
ship was being thoroughly searched by
the Captain, voluntarily went and
told him that he had the opium with
him. They were found under his
bunk.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The time, as calculated by the
Government Survey Department,
under the direction of Mr.. Curtis J
Lyons, Assistant Surveyor General,
of the points of contact at egress of
the planet Venus from the suns disc
Oh Wednesday morning we.e-at
internal contact, Oh. 2lm. 40s. at
external contact, Oh. 44m. SIS.
These observations will be forward
cd to Washington and London. 1t
was specially remarked that the
view of the point internal contact
was very good.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The hack drivers held a meeting
on Wednesday night at which the
rules and regulations drawn up for
approval were submitted and ac-
cepted. A committee of three were
appointed to lay them before the
Minister of the Interior yesterday.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

COMPLAINTS are being made that
the Punahou Bus carries only one
headlight and that, in consequence,
drivers of other vehicles cannot tell
which way to turn. One driver, in
particular, asserts that he was near
ly run into on Wednesday night.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
SHIPPING NOTES.

The Discovery arrived yesterday
morning, ~ days from San Fran
cisco.
The Iwalani brought 300 pkgs of
sugar, and the Waimanalo APT bags
and 81 kegs.
The Discovery brought about 4S0-
900 IT of lumber and 20, 900 laths.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

THREE successive legislatures, we
believe, have made appropriations
for erecting and completing light
house at Barber's point. And yet
nothing has been done in the matter.
There is no lighthouse, although
one is greatly needed, it is alb
solutely necessary in fact. What
we want to know now is, where is
the money?
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The Chamberlain Office is now
in the Palace building, and the old
gate-house will no longer be used as
an Office for the Chamberlain.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
TIE HEN.pECKEp HUSBAND.

Cursed he the man, the poorest wretch
in life,
The crouching vassal Of the tyrant
wife,
Who has no will but by her high per
mission,
And not shilling but in her posses
sion.
If such wife had fallen TO my part,
would break her spirit or break her
heart,
| would charm her with the magic of n
switch,
Kiss all the girls and kick the pei
verse wretch.
PooR ROBIN,
A recent Victim
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The fire-bell rang yesterday morn
ing and Engine Co. No. 4 turned
out. The fire was trihing, occurring
in the cook-house behind Wong Lee
Yung's store off Maunakea street
and was put out before the arrival
of the firemen.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

We are informed that all licensed
drivers not carrying badges by the
10th of this month will be prose-
cuted.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The Hon. w. r. Castle has gone
to Waialua, where, we hear, he was
received with great enthusiasm.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

LAST Tuesday, at noon, run.
away horse was seen on King street,
dragging a post fastened to its
bride. 1t is time that people left
off putting up wooden hitching-
posts. 1t is wcll-known fact that
they rot off suddenly, and then a
slight twitch of the horses head and
they fall. The horse is startled and
runs away. With these facts in
view people should put up iron
hitching-posts.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

LAST Saturday afternoon a me-
chanic lost ten dollar bill on Fort
street, between Lucas shop and
King street. 1t was lost between 4
and 5r.M. The bill was partially
wrapped in a slip of paper with the
owners name thereon. The owner
will reward anyone who returns it
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

A gentleman put out his boots at
the Hotel to be cleaned the other
night. He promises to give the
thief new pair if he will return the
old ones.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The opium found yesterday
weighs about SO lbs, and is valued
at about SIS per lb.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
Water Notice.
Office Sup't Water Works,

VH1OO sup W UICT " OTKS,
Honolulu, July s, 1882
4 LII persons having Water Privileges
IA are notified that their Water Rates
are payable semi-annually, in advance,
at the office of tie Superintendent of
Water Works, foot of Nuuanu street,
upon the 1st day of January and July of
each year. CHAS, B. WILSON,
Sup't Water Works.
S. X. KAAI, Minister of Interior. 2O4
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

N T. w Shat is the latest from
the Beaver Block, and above that is
the gilt Figure of a beaver, which
points (which way the wind blows"
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

Yestesday 6 men were arrested in
Cape Horn for gambling.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

either to Mr.. Lucas or this office.
We trust for the reputation for
honesty that Honolulu bears that
the finder will return it.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

The Likelike wharf is now re-
paired.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08


LOCAL AND GENERAL ITEMS.
The wharves opposite the Custom
House are being repaired.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
THIS DAYS DOINGS.
MORNING.

Regular Cash Sale at Sales Room
of f. S. Pratt & Co., at 10 O'Clock.
EVENING.
Mechanics Benefit Union, at 1880.
Improved Order of Red Men, at
1880.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
Notice.

A LII persons having horses pasturing
IN without permission, on that piece
of land facing King street, recently oc-
cupicd by Mr.. Carter, and known as Ke
walo, are Hereby notified that their
horses will be impounded if found there
after the 1st of December.
w. L. WILCOX.
Honolulu, Nov. 80, 1882 250 1w
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
Notice.

TNHE undersigned gives notice that he
A. has been appointed by the Court
of Commissioners of Alabama Claims
Commissioner to take the testimony of
such witnesses as may come before him
to be used in the investigation of any
claims which may be presented before
said Court.
ID. A. MCKINLEY.
Honolulu, Nov. 25, 1889. $50 2w
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08
Alabama claimants.

FT1lE following named persons are
X hereby notified thnt their alabama
Claims require their Immediate personal
attendance at the Office of the under.
signed.
All claims, whether mentioned below
or not, must 20 forward by the steamer
Suez on Deccmbct ~, or they will be
too late:
Kimo, Kumealani,
Puhau, Kamai
Kekaha, Manohuka,
keoni, Kahumokuliilii,
Kalua, Kcliilolcpa,
kahananui Kalulu,
Domingo LOpcs John Kauwe,
Kimo Nuole, Jack Hou,
Kanehclua, Kanakaokai
Ikaaka, Makanui,
Honu Louis Montay,
Oi, Hookahua,
Hoaiki, Kckipi,
Moeino, Kalawaia,
Kamaka, Pika (Pctcr Nowlcin
Geo. Washington, Kalue,
VIM. Moses,
ALFRED S. HARTWELL,
No. IL Kaahumanu street.
Honolulu, Dec. a, 1882. 262 1w
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-08

AUCTION SALES BY F. S. PRATT 8 Co.