Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-15
SPICE AND ALLSPiCE.

/
her first son day.
| WHY is a messenger like penny
Because he's one cent.
The piece de resistance-th boarding
house chicken. Boston transcript.
The wearer of patched trowsers is a
firm believer In the efficacy of listers.
WHEN it becomes fashionable to carry
| clubs every man can be his own police
man.
A PIECE of steel is q good deal like a
man-when you get it red hot it loses
its temper.
A BUFFALO is not bird, but we have
often heard of buffalo biIl.-LoWeEI
Commercial.
The man who scissors off coupons is
the genuine revenue cutter.-Burling-
ton H0aOkeye.
''MIsERY may like company, but I'd
raider hab de rhumatis in one leg den ter
hab it in bofe.- Uncle Go6e.
THERE is a man in England who
gained over fifty pounds in one week.
He bet on the winning horse.
IT is reported by Kentucky paper
that the feeling between ague and
quinine is exceedingly bitter"
60 AT last" observed an imprisoned
frog as he hoped from beneath an
upset scale, "this has turned in my
favor"
THERE is an East Indian lady in Paris
who can talk in twelve languages
Fortunately, she is not married Boston
Transcript
TEE latest passenger train which was
robbed by western outlaws had three
sheriffs on board. The sheriffs escaped.
-Philadelo1t5a Nea0s.
WHY is railroad SO patriotic? Give
it up? Because it is bound to the
country with the strongest ies.-BaI-
t527aore EUeqy saturday.
MISTRESS What time you've
been about that Mary" Mary" Yes,
/ mann; but the new kitchen clock has
such large minutes! "-Punch.
CHARLES, dear" she murmured, as
she strolled along the other evening,
and gazed up at the jeweled armament,
(which is Venus and which is Adonis p
"YoUR meal is ready" said the polite
landlady to her customer. "Meal re.
| Y IL,
l ordered d chop. None of your Ameri.
can hog feed for me-"
SAID loving wife to her husband
"Do you know, dear that butterfly Or.
naments are very fashionable ?" '.Per.
haps So, he gruff1y replied, Sc but grub
is the great desideratum.
A COW at Pittston, N. Z, ate up a sec
ton Of a spring bed before her owner
noticed that she had a why appearance
Some men are SO absent-minded, yor
know. Detroit Free Press.
ST ASKED an American the other DAY
what he thought of our climate. Rt
only laughed. Why says he, yor
haven't got climate; you've only go
samplesP "-Londoal Truth.
A SINGLE drop of blood will furnish
the mosquito food for week, and ye
people who drink heartily themselves
begrudge the poor mosquito that singh
drop. -Phdl0delolia Chronicle.
CHOW lay me down to Sleep" saic
little Toddlepins; then stopping
minute, SO but amt going to pray TO
mammals sole to keep, cause it hurts.
He is regarded as the Bob Ingersoll Of
the family.
A SAN Francisco paper says tina
ham sandwiches are exported to Homo
lulu from California. From this it ap
pears that the name of the Sandwich
Islands is nothing but al empty title.
~. Y. Com. AdU.
A LADY put her watch under her pill
low the other night, but couldn't keel
; it there because it disturbed her sleep
And there, all the time, was her be,
ticking right under her, and she ne7e
thought of it at all.
"YoU are such strange girl sait
Charley; Greatly, [ don't know what t,
make of you" ''Wel, then, I'll tel
you, Charley, replied Araminta; " max
a wife of me-" Charley did so at th,
earliest opportunity.
The deacon's son was telling the min
lister about the bees singing his pa, ant
the minister inquired: "Stung your pa
did they? Well, what did your pa say
"Step this way moment said tn,
boy, std rather whisper it to you"
THERE, never mind, said the deu
list, soothingly, as he twisted the tootl
1 t'AOAL4 OAOO VI UW1CO W 1OOSO4s up
never mind, it won't hurt s'No,
tgasped the victim, 81 know it won't, bu
it does now, and that's what intere est
me-" n
/ II BELIEVE that mine will be the fate
of Abel" said devoted wife to he1
husband one day. GLOW SOP" inquired
the husband. because Abel was
killed by club, and your club vii
kill me if yoa continue to go to it every
night"
| YES" said the defeated candidate.
II was beaten, but only by two votes. y
And his old politician friend snarled
back: "That's more disgrace than if
you'd been beaten by 500. With that
against you there'd have been some ex-
cuse for your being beaten"
$50 you we're slave before the war {? y
he said to the old darkey. "Yes,
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