News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-05-04
THE LIME.KHN CLUR.
A Lecture on ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
About Orthography.
From the Detroit Free Press. |

backed black man, with an eye like an
eagle and mouth betraying great de-
cision of character, made his appear
ance and was given general introduce
ton. In taking the platform he an
nounced that he had made the tour of
the world three times, received the
forty-seventh degree in the Sons of
Malta, and would address the club for a
few minutes on the subject of economy
and philosophy.
"What am economy?" he began, as
he got brace for his feet and looked
Pickles Smith square in the left eye.
81 answer dat economy am de art of
extractin' de most value fur de least
money. Economy am de art of making
time count. Take de plumber, fur in
stance. All he wants to begin life on
am a solderin' iron, fire-pot an bar
of solder. Economy does the rest. He
gifts pay fur de hours he sleeps as well
as fur de hours he works. Likewise,
moreober, fur his helper. Time am
cash to him. Ebery five minutes gone
while he am huntin' fur a leak am SO
much added to his capital. Take de
house painter. If he kin kill TO- minits
gwine up ladder he knows he kin kill
seben comm down. Ebery minute he
gains am dead cash. He could save ten
cents day by economizin' on cigars,
but he doan' have to. He can save fifty
by economizin' on de man who hires
him half day.
"Practice economy, bullet philosophy
enter into de practice. Doan' scold de
ole woman fur parin' de pertaters SO
thick when You have just traded a grind
stun, which eats muffin an am allus on
hand, fur dog which eats all de time
an am missin' when a tramp comes
along. A shotgun may be Wort mo-
dan watch, but when you git de gun
you mus buy fodder fur it.
GAS fur philosophy, de mo- of it you
have de less you feel de want of money.
Philosophy buys green wood an let's it
season in de stove. Philosophy gives
boss water iist befo' feedin' time to save
oats. Philosophy puts three chillun in
bed to save kivers. Philosophy is in
no hurry to pay debts. 1t reasons dat
de man who has owed a bill fur six
months receives a warmer welcome
when he comes to pay up dan de chap
who got trusted only yesterday. Use
philosophy in your families. II de ole
woman wants new bonnet tell her dat
she mus have dress an cloak an par
asol to match. By goin' widout de bon
| net she saves de expense of all de rest.
If de chiliun cry fur maple sugar feed
em wild fifty cent syrup. De sweet am
what dey cry fur. De same rain storm
which stops your work in de garden will
! wash whitewash off de walls an fences,
so what you lose by de wet you make
up in de sunshine. True economy will
adulterate castor lie wild kerosene, so
dat dc dose will act on lie stomach an
cure sore froat at de same time. True
philosophy will nebber waste breath in
Stain de case arter de Judge has passed
sentence. Wild desc few disaffected i'm
prudences I will now expand"
THE CHINESE QUESTION.
Giveadam Jones, of the Detroit Lime
Kiln Club, offered resolution pledging
the club to support any political party
in favor of giving the Chinese fair
show, but before it had been supported
Brother Gardner replied
at can't be done. Dis club refuses
to pledge itself to either polyticks or re-
ligun. AS to dis Chinese queshun, it
has two sides. In we want cheap washin'
we should defend de Chinaman. II we
want to go West an keep out O de tree
tops we should favor law to git shet O.
them. Let de white folks settle de
queshun fur demselves."
PENsToCK AROSE.
The orator had scarcely left the lodge
room when the Rev. Penstock arose and
asked the privilege of correcting some
of the language used. He said that it
panied him to the core to hear such
person as the Hon. Catteraugus Temp
kins, of Montreal, make use of such a
phrase as "disafected imprudence,
and the honorable orator had said he
would expand, in place of retire.
"Brudder Penstock," replied the
President, as he glared down upon him,
Sam you an orator p
"No, sah."
Sam you a philosopher
"No, sah."
edo you write Hon. befo' your cog
nomen?
81 do not"
"Den you sot down ! If a bon ora
tor, who has delibered ninety seven lee
lures Oh philosophy, an 216 on econo-
my doan' know what he am talkin' bout
when he raises up boat hands, rolls his
| eyes to Heaben an shouts out Dis
affected imprudence 7 it am not fer de
likes O. us to inculcate de odderwise no.
torious transparencies of de futile en-
deavors. Sot down an hold on to your
breaf %
Penstock wilted. He fell back with
such jar that one of the hind legs in his
stool was driven halfway across the
hall.
oRTHoGRAPHY DOESN'T COUNT.
The Alabama Society for the Advance
ment of Civilization forwarded a copy
of the minutes of their last meeting,
and applied for membership as body.
The following is a specimen of the min
utes:
March 90 1882 the Society Meets &C
cordin to pointments After Singing Hmm
275 and priase by the Chapel After
Ward the preasordent andnonce the
house opin for Bisornes on motion the
preasordent was elected to act as clarck
on protein On motion the preasordent
was elected for preasordent for the next
IL Months.
On motion the Bodcorrectars be tax
ing Under reconsideration on motion
thomas Bleay1ng was reorlected for
treasurer for the next II month and he
shall not keep more than 10 dollars in
at the time and the rest of the Money
be Banked on motion every membar
Shall be Call name by name to pa his
fee.
Prof. Keswish objected to admitting
members who displayed such criminal
recklessness toward photography, but
Brother Gardner replied:
''De pint am not well tooken. Up to
de close of the thirteenth century not q
King in Europe could write his own
name, an chen in desc modern days we
fin men libin' in luxury who am as apt