Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-04-12
Working wall street.

Working Wall street.
From tho Brooklyn Eagle. rs. So
"You don't crowd no more Wall street down
my throat" said Mr.. jerks, as he took the lone
fried oyster from the bar keeper and ordered
another round. -,9
''And why not" asked Blinks, finishing his
brandy and soda. 80 r.
I'm not greedy" said jerks. "Iknow when
I've got enough. don't want the EARTH
"Then you've come out ahead?" said Blinks
"No, haven't" said jerks. "But Pm not
wild to be Vanderbilt. l don't lie awake
nights wishing waSa Jay Gould. used to.
lying awake 1 ever did, and don't you forget
it. When you mention the street just count me
out"
Then you were not quite so fortunate as you
could wish?" asked Blinks.
Fortunate as l could wish" almost shouted
jerks. "Were you ever there?"
Ever where?" asked Blinks.
"On the street. of course" said jerks.
mo, but understand there's lots OF money
to be made If you only understand the inside
track" said Blnks.
1.-The inside track" shouted jerks. 'Wel 1
knew the inside track. That was the trouble.
The more you know Of the inside track the more
expensive becomes your education. All you've
got to do to become ruined man inside of ten
days is to get points on every stock on the list
which way stock ia going, the best thing you
can do is to leave it alone. But the trouble is
the more knowledge you get in Wall street the
bigger fool you become, until the power of
making yourself an ass has been all taken away
from you"
1.-THE street seems to have got itself disliked
in your estimation" said Blnks.
Eyes. it has, said jerks. 'I've watched that
COMPOUNDED ticker until l find can't stand the
luxury any longer. It's enough to turn a man
m0ntha hny hro lorc OF md
1t year In and year out beats me. You see the
trouble with Wall street is that it contains too
many kind friends for the average mortal to
stand 1t. Every man Is ready to help you out
with his valuable counsel. Now only q short
time ago bought straddle Of six hundred
shares Of certain stock. Well, she went down
to near my limit, and a kind and generous bro
ker advised me to unload, which did. Then
the confounded stock jumped clean above the
call originally owned, and another good friend
says: Buy her in again. She's bound to BOOM
Well, did buy her ill., and she did boom out Of
sight In the wrong direction. Then went in on
my own account and tried to make myself solid.
Well. it took me about two weeks to get solid
solidly sick Of the whole business"
"But perhaps you weren't properly posted be-
fore you commenced
"Posted!" said jerks, "Posted, Well If you
ever saw man who thought himself better
posted on Wall street. you may eat my hat.
month, and kept on knowing it, but never
got the fortune I'd been taking one of those
COMPOUNDED little Wall street papers, and got
chuck full Of the bear movement. Everything
was going that way said the paper. There
wasn't railroad In the United States worth q
penny whistle. Go short! Go shortl Go
short!' cried the blasted little sheet, and did
go short. In about ten davs was about
as short man as you could find between
Trinity church and the Wall street ferry,
and in the meantimet the miserable little
paper had turned square round: sprouted pair
of horns. and commenced regular bull can
| can Well, felt like numbering that editor
but was darn fool enough to swing around
with him, and pretended to my friends that
knew how the market was going all the time;
but didn't. was never more mixed up in my
life. and then came this lust tumble all along the
line. We outsiders were all ready for It as
usual, and the boys had another picnic at our
expense. But It's the last cent Wall street will
ever cnn.s see :. OF nins-by the way how is Jersey
.'Still down" said Blinks.
"Well, she can't stay down." said Jenks
but, tell You my boy, It can't last. have .
s.What?f asked Blinks.
mo, I'll be Did If I'll touch any Of ,em. I"
said jerks. vigorously butt0ning up his coat
and striding out Of the saloon. Then he hurried
over to Wall street and told his broker TO eiye
him > straddle On Jersey Central.