The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1882-05-05
NUMBER 40.
Answers to Correspondents.

The Milwaukee San gets off an ex-
cellent travesty on the "Answers to Cor
respondents" column. Says the San:
We have long regarded, with consum-
ing Jealousy, the department of answers
to correspondents which appear in some
OF our contemporaries, and which regu
larly make just an even column. People
from all over seem to write to editors for
information, and we have decided to wait
no longer, but occasionally have such
column.
Melbourne, Australia, Sun ofice)-
"Can you inform large number of your
readers here why the first day of Janu-
ary is called New Years day? E. G."
Yes. 1t is because it is the first day Of
the new year.
Manitoba, (Sun office .-"Can you in
form an appreciative reader, through the
medium of your valuable paper, who is
the author of a poem called Beautiful
Snow? ]. A." We should say we
could. We wrote it ourself, and we re-
collect that during its composition, while
every emotion of our intense nature was
surglng and seething with the divine af-
tiatus, a party named VIM. Patterson
came into the room interrupting us, and
we hit him in the eye with an ink stand.
We understand that Patterson is looking
for US, pretending that he doesn't know
who struck him. The son Of a gun knows
well enough who struck him.
Key West (Sun ofice)-"H. Mot
having Ayers almanac for 1882, and hay
ing mislaid the one for 1881, we are I'M
able to give you the exact date of Martin
Van Buren's death. 1t occurred, we I'M
derstand, some years ago.
Itskata, Russia (Sun ofice)-"Mirza"
You are mistaken about Grandfather
Clock" 1t is not dirge. Here in
America it is sung as a popular song,
| but If its translation into Russian has
seemed to clothe it in an air of melan-
choly it is your language that is at fault,
not the music. The author is an Ameri
can, but will be delivered up if proper
application is made through the State
Department at Washington.
Cape Horn (Sun office ''Patigonian"
You are mistaken. Men have been
sentenced to prison in this country for
stealing as small sum as $4,000,
though of course such instances are rare.
However, it is only when justice catches
man when running off with ham or u
loaf Of bread that she throws her whole
soul into the enormity, and fires him
through the moon.
San Stucco, Mexico. (Sun office
''Gomez" jay Gould, whom you are
pleased to denominate as ''the invidious
foreign devil" who is cutting up your
country with railroads, is not san ana
conda," but is known here as a success
full railroad magnate. You are right,
however, in your surmises. When the
tide of Northern civilization begins pour
Ing into Mexico you will be obliged tc
wash yourself; We do not see any other
way. But why not change your methods
in order to conform to the new order of
things? Why not give up cattle steal
ing and highway robbery, and fit your
self for bank cashier? The only diff
ference will be little extra outlay f,l
soap.
Correspondents should send in plenty
of inquiries. What we can't find in the
almanac, we can generally strike in the
encyclopedia; and if we can't answer the
question at all, we can easily chuck it in
the waste basket and invent question
/ that we can answer.