The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1882-07-30
Shall She Break Her Engagement Z

A young girl asks us to assume q great,
terrible responsibility. She wants us to de-
eide for her whether she shall keep or break
her engagement to marry a man against
whom she brings no charge. This is how
she puts the case
III nm Ii Years Of age and engaged to gentleman
of 80 who is DESTROYS OF being married this fall. Now
do not love him any other man, don't think
1t would be unwise for me to marry will abide by
decision before saying anything to him.
Perhaps you will say, Why don't you love him p
Because have found out to my that have 10
heart and cannot return his affections. respect him
greatly hut love him will let matters stand
as they until hearing from you. Do not disappont
me, but please answer at once &C. NJ"
It would be sad horrible even, II young
girl Of seventeen who wrote so pretty u little
note was destitute of heart, that is, OF all
tender affections, SO that appeals to her love
were in vain. She might be ever SO beauti-
full, and full Of charms inexpressible, and yet
she would be a monster. For what is girl
without a heart?
But our fair friend wrongs herself. It Is
not because she has no heart, but because she
has SO much heart, that she is in her present
perplexity. She is not so desperately in love,
she imagines, as she ought to be, and as she
would wish to be. Probably there is not
enough OF romance in her engagement to
suit her. 1t moves along too much In an
| even course for 80 young girl, whose ideas
of love are derived from novels which false
ly interpret nature, or deal only with very
exceptional characters and temperaments,
and very unusual circumstances. Her lover
| Is simply a good, honest fellow, but one of
| whom she cannot make a hero like those she
has read about in novels.
But II she lost him, how would she feel
then? How would she like to see him mar
rying some other girl 2 Would she not be
| likely TO then discover that she had heart
of about the usual kind, and that it was ten
der enough to be hurt deeply, MORALLY, as
she might think?
Besides, she has engaged herself to this
man. He probably has no doubt about his
having heart, for he has given his aifec-
tions to her, and. naturally enough and cred
itably enough, is anxious that the day Of
their marriage should not be too long put off.
Very many girls who write to us keep COM
pany with men, as they call it, for years. and
yet the wedding day is not appointed. Per-
haps their SWANS have never more than
limited their love. They are too timd to
speak out, or they are SO situated that they
must wait before taking on them the respon-
siblities Of marriage. But this girl has not
| only an avowed lover, but one also who Is
eager to make her his wife at an early day,
for the fall Is close at hand.
And she says, too, that he Is deserving OF
her respect, of her great respect, while very
often the fellows on whom girls set their
affections, and from whom they cannot be
withdrawn, are utterly unworthy Of trust,
entirely unfit to be husbands and fathers.
Even their sweethcarts cannot respect them,
love them as much as they imagine they do.
But what is love without respect? 1t is q
short-lved passion, which kills the happi-
ness Of those who yield to it.
Still, shall we tell this girl to go on and
keep her promise OF marriage? That is re.
sponsibility we cannot take. II she doesn't
love the man she ought not to marry him
OF course she ought not Besides, she is
very young, almost child and the engage
ments OF girls Of seventeen are oftentimes
far from serious affairs. In making then
they only play with love, pending the time
when 1t will really come to be their master.
But let her think the matter over herself
and not be hasty in deciding for she may
discover too late that she was in love aftel
all. A lover you respect is not one to b.
thrown over lightly