Connecticut western news., 1882-12-20

dem onstrated by walking the floor in your stocking feet, well-kept room on such an occasion averaging two tacks to the square foot.
 The future of the tack gives great promise of more extended usefulness and unlimited possibilities, as several of our most eminent college professors hav- ing carefully studied the effect of 8 sharp tack of reasonable length placed properly in 0 chair or under a cot, are about to introduce tacks, and do away with spring boards in our college gym nasiums. Detroit Free Press. DENVER TRIBUNE FABLES,
 A Doc and his Tail fell into a Dispute as to which should Wag the Other. An itinerant Wasp passing that Way casually Remarked: Speaking of Tails reminds me that Possess one which May possi- | ply be Influential enough to Wag you Both." This fable Teaches that ten cents worth of Dynamite is bigger man than Church Steeple.
 AN Angle-worm was once Observed by Catfish wriggling about in a Pond. "Poor Thing" said the Catfish; "My heart Bleeds for you. For fear you willbe Drowned, I Will Take you in Out of the Wet!" To which the Angle-worm re- piled: "I am Grateful for your Sympathy, but if you Take me in it Will be your Gills that will Bleed for me-" Misin- terpreting this remark for Humor, the Catfish swallowed the Angle-worm, and Learned too Late that the Angle-worm had previously swallowed Limerick hook. By this fable we are taught that it is Best to Inquire into @ Contract be- fore Undertaking it. .-. O
 A CHILD Awakening from its Sleep in the Dead of Night, cried out to his Nam ma in alright: ooh, mamma" said the Child, 'I saw Big Kitty at the Win dow." "Be calm, my Dear" replied the Mother, 'I have been Married too Long to be Worried at anything Short of Snakes in your Papa's Boots.' | LIGHT.
 One evening couple of Chicago thugs stopped man at the lower end of Ram dolph street and asked hiIn the time.
 "Just strike light, will you" said the man, "and I'll look and see."
 When the match illuminated the l gloom, the man was revealed with his watch in one hand and wicked revolver lying across the face of it.
 |" It's now 1O:3O, and you fellows have only got @ second and half to light out of this before she strikes" said the man sternly.
 They Git"
 PAYING BET.
 The Committee on Harmony, of the Lime-Kiln Club, reported that the Lime- Kiln Club was at peace and harmony with every government on earth except Greece, and with every organization and association in America except the Con- cord School of Philosophy. During the quarter the committee had taken action in twenty-four instances where members of the club had differed. in opinion, and the only case left was that of Whalebme Howker vs. Clay Bank Tyler.
 "What am dat case?" softly inquired the President.
 It was explained that Brother Howker had won an election bet of Brother Tyler, but that the latter refused to square up He was asked to stand up, and when he was on his feet Brother Gardner said:
 "Brudder Tyler, did you bet new hat dat de Republicans would carry New York by millyon majority?"
 "Yes, sah."
 "Has you paid dat bet yit?"
 "No, sah.''
 "Was you waitin' fur anythin' in pertickler to happen befo' you paid dat bet ?"
 "No, sah."
 "Den you had better settle de matter befo' de nex' meetin' occurs A man who am fool huff to bet on leckshun should be idiot huff to pay what he loses" ."- Detroit Free Press.