davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
EDGEFIELD. C. H, S. c., May 3, 1879

EDGEF1ELD, c. H., S. c., May 3, 1879.
DR.. l.. 7. Hill: Dear Sir-Having tried
HILLS HEPATIC PANACEA, and thoroughly
tested it's merits, recommend it with the
greatest confidence to the people, and bespeak
for it's admittance into every household. 1t has
given perfect satisfaction in my practice, and 1
feel assured the people will find it healing
'panacea" for all irregularities incident to the
liver. do not speak as one who has heard
and seen not, but from my personal experience
as a practicing physician. 1t should be kept
in every household, and meet with that recep-
tion that it's virtue and merits demand. l
heartily endorse it as an effective liver regula-
tor. Very truly yours,
w. D. JENNINGS, NJ. D.
a For sale by J. q. Kuyk eIdal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
QJonlnlerclaI.

YORKvILLE. February 22.-Cotton is easy at
from to l03 cents.
CHARLESTON, February 20.-Cotton firm
but quiet; middling, III.
LIVERPOOL, February 2l.-The market is
easy and demand freely supplied. Middling up
lands, 623-64d.
NEW YORK, February 2l.-The cotton market
is easy, at liz for middling. Futures easy. Sales
1872, 900 bales follows: February, ll.53 to "a ;
March. ll.56 to 81 April. ll76 May, 1l.9 95to Sc
June, 1909; July, 1924 to %; August, 1886 to
81: September, ll.sS to 90; October, ll.36 to 80
November, ll.24 to 25; December ll.26 to q
Comparative Cotton Statement.
NEW YORK, February 1.-THE following is
the comp arative cotton statement for the week
ending to-day: lss2 1881.
Receipts at ali ports for the week ,.7l2s5 I44747
Total receipts to this date, ,43O 1886 267
Exports for the week, ,... ........66,6 652 no. 1872
Total Exports to this date, ,..-2 l42 $50 1893
Stock at all United States ports, ll2.7O9 4049
Stock at all interior towns, .".lS3,l ll6 l57 1854
Stock at Liverpool, ol,................70OO 900 7lS0O
American afoat for Great Britain. .222 600 $1,000
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
HYMENEA

MERRIED-On the 18th instant, at the residence
the brides father Mr.. J. B. Jackson, by Rev. S.
L. Watson, Mr.. J. r. BARRON and Miss c. l..
JACKSON. All Of York county.
On the I4th instant, at the parsonage, near
Hoodtown, by Rev. A. Ervine, Mr.. THOMAS
G. MICKLE and Miss S. J. FEEMSTER. All
of York county.
In Bethesda township, on the 18th instant, by
Rev. J. Lowrie Wilson, Mr.. ROBERT REN.
WICK CLINTON and Miss ALICE ROSALIE
GARRISON. All of this county.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
MULES AND HORSES.

vTVHE undersigned hereby give notice that they
now have on hand, at their Stables in York
Vile, q lot of good HORSES AND MULES,
which they will sell cheap for cash, or on time to
approved purchasers. Arrangements have. been
made to keep stock Of horses and mules on
hand so long as the demand justifies it.
WILLIFORD & GLENN.
Fahruary tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
ROLL OF CONFEDERATE TROOPS.

OFFICE OF ADJUTANT AND INsPECToR-GENERAL,
COLUMBIA. S. c., February 18th, 1882.
DY an Act entitled an Act "to provide for the
ID preparation of Rolls of Troops furnished by
the State OF South Carolina to the army Of the Con-
federate States and in the Militia Of the State in
active service during The war between the COnted-
crate and United States," approved January 3lst,
1882 it is made the duty of the Adiutant-General
of the State to prepare such rolls.
In order to carry ont this commendabe action
Of the General Assembly. and that the result may
be az accurate as possible, the undersigned re-
quests that all officers and soldiers from South
Carolina, Of the late Confederate army, or citizens
of the State, who may he in possession of regi-
mental, battalion or company rolls, will commu-
nicate with him in reference thereto, or send to
him, in Columbia, such rolls as they may have,
which will be returned. if desired, after being
made use Of. A. M MANlGAuLT,
Adjutant and Inspector General State of s. G..
February % 1t
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
Rare Bargains

In the following goods: Children's Stockings
Velings, Ribbons and Toilet Soaps.
81. F. ADICKES.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
JOHN G.. KUYKENDAL.
SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION,

SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION.
WYNN. o. GUY, a progressive young farmer,
w who can always give reason for the faith
that is in him. has furnished, and kindly permitted
us to use the following statistics gathered from the
use of fertilizers his farm. past season. Mr..
Guy used on his cotton crop, last year, our I'M
proved Harris Fertilizer, Orient Guano and Pied
mont Acid Phosphate. Determined to test accu-
rately their relative value as fertilizers, he care
fully weighed the amount Of each applied to one
acre, planting on the same character OF soil and
cultiyating alike. When the picking season ar
rived he Weighed carefully the cotton produced
by one row 20 yards long, to which these different
manures had been applied, with the following re-
suits: The row on which the Improved Harris
Fertilizer was used, at the rate of 250 pounds to
the acre, produced St pounds seed cotton. Cost
of Manure, per acre. $l.S7. The row on which
Orient Guano was used. at the rate OF Zoo POUNDS
to the acre, produced u pounds seed cotton. Cost
of manure per acre, s4;oO. Ihe row on on wnich On
to the acre, produced u pounds seed cotton: Cost
of manure per acre, $375 cents. One row OF same
length, on which there was no application or ma
nure, produced 41 pounds seed cotton. 1t Will be
seen, from this statement, that the Improved Har-
ris Fertilizer increased the natural yield nearly
one hundred per cent, made greater yield than
the Guano and Acid, at a cost of one-half in one
case, and less than one-haf in the other.
Remember that you can only get pure animal
bone Acid Phosphate, in town, from kU4kEN
DAL and bear in mind further, that an animal
bone acid will generate naturally q to per cent.
of ammonia while a rock acid generates none.
Moreover, consider this fact, that ammonia forces
growth in the cotton plant, starting it off early,
producing stalk that the Phosphorie Acid and
Bone Phosphate of Lime comes in later, makes
and hardens the woody fibre of the stalk, begets
and natures the fruit and don't forget this, that
our Bone Acid contains II per cent. of Phosphoric
Acid, SO per cent. of Bone Phosphate of Lime; is
strong in ammonia and has commercial value OF
over $40 co.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
KENNEDY BROS. & BARRON. .
FARMERS, TOOLS. ETC.

FARMERS TOOLS. ETC.
WE have Trace Chains, Breast Chains. Iron
w bound Hames, Plain Root Hames. Bridle-
Bits, Spades, Shovels, Rakes. Manure Forks,
Mattocks, Sprouting Hoes, Picks. long handled
Horse and Mule Shoes, Back bands, Buckles,
Axes, Cotton Cards, Coffee Mills, Braces, Brace
Bits, Augers. Chisels, Handsaw, Mill and other
Files, Butts, Hinges, ..5.r
LOCKS OF ALL KINDS,
Table Knives and Forks, Pocket Knives, some
thing fine in the way of Razor; Well Pulleys,
Curry Combs and Brushes, Hatchets, Hammers,
Plane Handles, Saw Handles, Bolts, the celebra-
ted Dixie Plow Stocks double-toot Plow Stocks,
single-foot Plow Stocks, the Avery Plows, and
THE AMERICAN SEWING MACHINE,
KENNEDY BROS. & BARRON.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
OBITU AIRY.

D1ED-Near Yorkville, on the 9th instant,
MATTE, infant daughter of Mr.. j. NJ. and Mrs.
NJ. A. Brian, aged months and "A days.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1882-02-23
CLOSE UP.

nLEASE call and close up your Account of
1881, either with Cash or Note. Cash pre-
ferred.
KENNEDY BROS. & BARRON.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
MARKET REPORT,
wholesale Grain and Produce Market.
DIRECTED DALY1


CHRONICLE OFFICE, I
kn .avtlle. Tenn. March Is, 1852.
WHEAr-Dull; from wagons. S1.20aI % per
bushel, as to grade round lots 81 25a130.
CoRN-Dull with ut little Offering; worth
70 to rs cents; new corn in ear, about 20
from wagons sacked rs to so
OATS-actiye: loose from wagons 4oa45c per
bushel.
BULK MEATs--sides, 1Oc shoulders. 7 to 7lh !;
sugar-Gured mans, smoked, 12I to Is.
BACON-Buying from wagons at 9as11c. round
13c In demand.
PoTAToEs- Irish new, s asoc per bushcl.
:. HAY-Loose. 6oas0c per 100 pounos baled.
PEAs-sl .40a1.50 per bushel
BRAN-Sl.A0 per 100 pounds.
fLoUk-Nomlnai, country extra buying, duh,
buying, $S. E0a3. 70; selling So S5a4 90 Ter sack
FEATHRRs-Prlme A to 46
OVERWHELMINGLY prime half peaches
nominal, S4a4c; peeled peaches Gar cents /;
p ars 4a5 cents; quarter apples, 4a4Ls cents,
FIEID SEEDS.-Neminal Clover, S6.25a6.5O;
timothy grass, $3.50 busheI; orchard & ass, TO
grease butter, SAFE.
EeGS-Buying dull at 11k
PoULTRY-llve chickens hens 6 l 2; per pound
ROSTERS, 4c; turkeys, in good demand, 8Isc :
spring chickens in demand. &c per ID.
RAGs-Cotton, 11aa2c.
bEESWAX-Duil at zoe per pound
RIDEs-Dry flint, Zoe: green. &c.
TALLow-5a6e.
FLAX SKED-Per bushel, soc.
KRASS-1oa12c; copper, 1OaI2c.
WoOL-Cholce tup-wasfed SOC fair to good
sec; dark coarse. Is uDwashed 22I+a25S.
GINsENGz-Per ID. 81 IS, fall dug
SENACA R0oT-Per Id, 35a4ec.
PINK RooT-Per 10, 15c
WILLOW RooT-Per h. 6a7c.
FURs-Raceoon skins, zoe mink, 40c opos
sum, &c mu krat, 1oc; gray foxes SOC red foxes,
skln 35c per Id. Ali quotations are tor 40,
skins,
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
Almost Incredible Distance Of the
Stars.

1t would take ray of light travelling
at the rate Of 1S6,000 miles per second
three years and eight months to 80 to
the nearest fixed star. In order that
the mind may be less confused IN the
midst of these thousands of sparkling
points it has been agreed from the high
est antiquity to class the stars according
to their apparent brightness. The
brightest stars have been called stars OF
the first order or magnitude, although
this term does not imply anything rela-
tive to the actual size or brightness OF
the stars those which follow, still In
the order of their apparent brightness,
have been called stars OF the second
magnitude; then comes those OF the
third, fourth, and fifth magnitude, &C
cording as they appear smaller; stars OF
the sixth magnitude are the last stars
visible to the naked eye.
II is generally thought that the
brightest are the nearest, though this Is
not always SO. There are said to be be-
tween 5000 and 5000 stars visible to the
naked eye But when our feeble sight
gives way, the telescope, that giant eye
which increases, from century to century,
piercing the depths of the heavens, con-
stantlv discovers new stars. After the
sixth magnitude the first glasses revealed
the seventh. They then reached the
eighth, the ninth. 1t is thus that thous-
ands have increased to tens of thousands,
and that tens of thousands have become
hundreds of thousands. More perfect
instruments have cleared those distances,
and have found stars of the tenth and
eleventh magnitudes. From this period
they began to count by millions. The
number of the stars of the twelfth magni-
tude is 1856, 600; added to the eleven
preceding magnitudes, the total exceeds
fourteen millions. By the aid of still
greater magnifying power these limits
are again surpassed.
AT the present time the total number
of stars. from the first to the thir-
teenth magnitude, inclusive, is calcu-
lated al 43, 900, 900. The sky is truly
transformed. III the field Of the tele-
scope neither consultations nor divisions
are distinguished; but fine dust shines
in the place where the eye, left to its
own power, only sees darkness, on which
stand out two or three stars. In pro-
portion as the wonderful discoveries in
optics will increase the visual power, all
regions of the sky will be covered with
this fine golden sand.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
HOW To SECURE HEALTH

It seems strange that any one will suffer
from arrangements brought on by impure
blood, when SCOVILLS, SARSAPARILLA
AND STILLINGIA, or BLOOD AND LIv-
Err SYRUP viii restore health. 1t is the
BEST BLOOD PURIFIER ever discovered,
etfectually curing scrofula, Syphiitic disor
ders, Weakness of the Kidneys, Erysipelas,
Malaria; all Nervous disorders and Debil-
ity, Bilious complaints, Diseases of the
Blood, Liver, Kidneys, Stomach, Skin, etc.
1t corrects indigestion. A single bottle will
prove to you its merits as a health renewer,
for it ACTS LIKE A CHARM.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
Starting a Paper on Cheek.

During the past year several individ-
uals publishing obscure and well nigh
worthless sheets, and others designing
to start such, have written to persons of
note in the editorial fraternity, soliciting
free contributions. In response to such
an application the following reply was
sent by "Bill Nye >
Your favor of the 7th inst, is re-
ceiVed. 1t was q glad surprise TO me,
because / had been asked to contribute
facetious article to paper only 256 times
since the holiday annual business began
to boom. [ have estimated that i'll case
| had complied with all these sugges-
tons [ would have written $1,000 worth
Of. gurgling mirth within four weeks.
[ could not have worried through it
without having ground out at least ten
columns per day. When you come to
add my other duties you will readily see
that the exercise would at times be irk-
some. [ am the managing editor of a
daily paper that requires at least eight
hours day. [ am also Police Justice,
with an average of five plain, undeco-
rated DRINKS and two assault and bat
teries per day. I am also United States
Commissioner, and member of the YES
try of ST. Matthews Church.
SPY the time L get up and cook my
breakfast and do the housework and
bring in some coal and do some market
ing and feed the hens and deal out
81 90 worth of justice and write a leader
or two and read few proofs and do the
chores around the office and lick few
total strangers and get my dinner and
attend yestry meeting and write ten or
twelve columns of side-splitting mirth
on the half-sheet and go home and hold
the baby a couple of hours, breakfast is
ready, and don't have to go to bed at
all. This saves the wear and tear of a
night shirt and keeps man out of mis-
chief.
s. If you think this letter will throw
any light on the subject you are at
liberty to use it. 1t may do great deal
of good. BILL NYE."
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16

The cedars of Lebanon are now in
closed by a heavy wall, and the pick
nicking tourists who have been in the
habit of building fires out of their twigs
and against their trunks and distributing
sardine boxes and scraps of paper under
their shades will no longer offend travel
ers who feel reverence for these relics
of antiquity. 1t is the most emil ghtened
thing the Turks have done for some time
past. and we have to thank Rustem
pasha for It.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16

f8-T0 NEW SUBSCRIBERS for the year 1882,
RENTING before January 1st the numbers of 1881
issued after the receipt of their subscriptions
will be sent gratis,
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
kBLEST LIVING WRITERS.

mo ether periodical can compare with TIE
LIVING AGE III interest aud value. VeIlta-
be thesaurIs OF Tie besy work of the most cele-
hfated writer IN literature, science, politics aud
art Boston Traveller.
Il supplies better compendium Of current
discussion. information and investigation, and
gives q greater amount and variety of reading
mat er. " HicG IS well worth White TO read, than
any her i!5icaEiOn. Boston journal.
1t contains not oniy the most solid literature.
but also the bsss serial stories Of the day. It's
pages are sufficient 10 keep any reader abreast
with the best printed thoughts OF the best of our
contemporary writers. . - Episcopal Register.
Philadelphia
of eight dollars in the world OF literature that
will yield equal Returns The Presbyterian.
Philadelphia -
Ii is indispensable in every household where
any attempt IS made to keep up with the current
thought OF the day. II is a thorough c0mplla-
ton of what is best in the literature of the day.
poetry wit science, politics, theology, criticism
or aTt."-HaTtf0rd Courdnt.
. II enables lis readers to keep fully abreast Of
the best Thought and literature OF clvlllzatlon.'-
Pittsburgh Christian Advocate.
1t beng a weekly publication, Is, compare
tiyey speaking. the cheapest magazine pub
lished. CONNIE eial Adyer, iser, Detroit.
No reader who makes himself familiar with
its contents can lack the means OF a sound liter
airy culture. New York Tribune.
IAN Indispensable yistor."-New York OBJ
server.
isyille r,
Chicago
'sThe best and cheapest periodical in America"
Evangelical Churchman, Toronto.
Published weekly at SSUo year, Tree Oh post
age.
renItfing before January list, the numbers of 1881
issued after the receipt OF their SUBSCRIPTIONS.
will be sent gratis,
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16

Chattanooga Commercial, @arch II.
CoRN-On wharf, 75a77c; per bushel.
sWHEAT-Choice, SI.lQa1.50 per busnei on
wharf.
] MEAL-s2c per bushel
MEATS-Bulk meats, long clear sides, Ice.
BACoN-Tennessee sides. 10l2c hams, lag ll5c.
LARD-In cans, l3c; tierces, 1870.
OATs-Per bushel 45a60 cents./
HAY-Si5.0eaiS.o0 per ton.
FoTAToEs-Irish, 81 25 per bushel sweet,
Sl00
fancy, S7.75.
PoULTRY-ChickenS, l5c.
EGGS-Per dozen, 10c.
BUTTER-PeF pound, 24a25c.
BEESWAX-Per pound, zoe.
HIDEs-Green. fa6e: arg salted. sal0c.
FEATHER5 Primo, 40c.
TALLow-Per pound. 5isa6c.
LIVE SToCK-C-t tile, 2l4 a5e; Hogs, 6a61zc,
gross.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16

The Chicago Hotel World says,
"There is still too much of the la
business in bills of fare" There is in
deed, and not enough of it in the little
sample dishes that the waiter brings.
Pomme de Terre la iardeniere and
pork and beans a la New Englandienne
may be ever SO fine, but if there Is only
a teaspoonful of them dabbed onto lit
tie plate it is vexation of spirit. No
one likes to open his mouth for camel
and swallow gnat. 1t is wrenching as
the Old Harry.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16

"L'EMPIRE TsARs," M. ANToIE
LERoY-BEAUJIEU, says that the weight
of woman's brain'in Slavonic races is
greater than that of mau's, while
among the Germanic people the brain
weight of the sexes is equal.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16

Bad Breath arises from the stomach,
and can be easily corrected if you take
Simmons Liver Regulator. 1t is peculiarly
adapted to the stomach, correcting acidity,
destroying foul gases and allaying inflam-
nation. Take, after eating, a half table
spoonful, it assimilates with the food and
insures perfect digestion, without which
repulsive disorder, bad breath, must ensue.
The Regulator removes bilousness, cures
dyspepsia, constipation and sick headache,
is purely vegetable and harmless. Pre-
nared only by ]. Fl. Zeilin a. Co.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
BRoN1H1rs. oR7CHRos1c SORE TIL

BRoNIHITs, oR~CHRoNIC SORE THRoAT-
1t is attended with irritation of the bron-
chial tubes, which convey the air we
breath into the lungs. This irritation pro
duces sore throat, hoarseness, coughing and
sometimes splitting of matter streaked with
blood. If it is neglected it viii extend
down to the lungs, and settle into confirmed
consumption. ALIENS LUNG BALsAM will
be found q most valuable remedy for curing
this disease, and prevent its running into
consumption.
For sale by all Medicine Dealers.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
EXECUTION SALE.

gEY~ VIRTUE OF AN EXECUTION
sEissued from the Chancery Court of Knox
County, on the LIST day of January, 1882,
against s. E. Swan in the case of David
Nelson VS.. W. A. Odell ct al, 1 will on the
18th day of April, 1882, in front of the
court house door in Knoxville, Tenn, ex-
pose to public sale to the highest bidder for
cash in hand, the following described tract
of land, to-wit An undivided interest in a
tract or parcel of land lying m the 18th
civil district of Knox County, Tenn, and
bounded as follows, to-wit Bounded on the
north by the property of B. F Bearden and
VIM. W. Walker and W. FL. Swan, on the
south by the property of J. N. Seaton, on
the west by the property of J. F. Henry,
levied on as the property Of S. E. Swan to
satisfy said execution.
This March It'll, 1882.
@. B. GOSSETT,
By J. n. Barger, s. D. Sheriff.
marSW4t
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
Atlanta Market.


ATLANTA Constitution, March Ill
FLOUR Family s7.5oa7.75 extra family Ss.00a
SIS fancy Sc 00a9. Is.
BACoN-Sug2r-c cured hams l3al35xc Tennessee
hams l3aI31se; breakfast bacon nonu.
BULK y EATs-Clear rib sides 10l4c
LAKD-Best leaf 1i1tc; kegs and cana fSa
lac.
WsKAT-Choice No. 81 .53al.63.
OATS-65c per bushsi
HAY-Timothy S1.35: mixed 81 so
Constitute ? in sacks yellow. 900
MEAL-s45caS1 CO.
PEAs-Clay, Sl.3oal.40 per bushel.
PoTAToES-Irish. feot eSsee eating, S3-50a3 70
per Dol sweet 91c. 100 per bnShel.
ONIONS S4.03a4.50 per barrel.
Et5GS-Per dozen Isc.
BUTrER-Tennesses choice sos
PoULTRy-Dressed chickens, 11al2c Per lib. tur-
keys, l3l2al4c per 10.
BEESWAX-1ee.
FEATEERs-Ntw choice white 55c.
%%DRIED FRUTT-Pealed peaches, 10a15c; IN
peaed. 4c: arBles. 4c.
LIVE SToCK--Mules, dull with drIces fair: We
quote car lots as follows II hands high Ss0a1OO.
1S hands, Sl20al30- Horses quiet anu dull with
stocks moderate, plug horses, SIS, good, St25a
200.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
On Thirty Days Trial.

We will send DIR. Dyes Celebrated Eleo-
tro-Voltaic Belts and other Electric Apph-
ances on trial for thirty days to young men
and older persons who are afflicted with
Nervous Debility, Lost Vitality, etc., guar
anteeing speedy relief and complete restora-
ton of vigor and manhood. Aso for Rheu-
matism, Neuralgia, Paralysis, Liver and
Kidney difficulties, Ruptures, and many
other diseases. Illustrated pamphlet sen
free. Address Voltaic Belt Co., Marshal,
Mich. nov10dSw12ms.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1882-03-16
lie Had No Fun In Him.

One of the members of the Methodist
Conference held IN Detroit was out for
a walk at an early hour one morning,
and encountered strapping big fellow,
who was drawing wagon to a black
smith shop.
"Catch hold here and help me down
to the shop with this wagon, and I'll
buy the whisky" called the big fellow.
81 never drink" solemnly replied the
good man. =
"Well, you can take cigar"
"I never smoke"
The man dropped the wagen-tongue,
looked hard at the member, and asked
"Don't you chew?"
"No, sir" was the decided reply.
"You must get mighty lonesome"
unused the teamster.
81 guess I'm all right, I feel first
rate"
"Tll bet you even that can lay you
on your back" remarked the teamster.
81 never bet," replied the clergyman.
"Come, now, let's warm up little"
81 am In a hurry"
"Well, let's take each other down for
fun, then. You are as big as I am, and
I'll give you the under hold"
81 never have fun" solemnly replied
the member
"Well. Tn going to tackle you, any
way. Here we CO.
The teamster slid up and endeavored
to get backhold, but he had Only just
commenced his fun, when he was lifted
clear off the grass and slammed against
tree-box with such force that he gasped
half dozen times before he could catch
| his breath.
"Now, you keep away from me, Z"
exclaimed the minister, picking up his
cane.
"Bust me if I don't" replied the
teamster, as he edged off.
whats the use of lying and saying
that you didn't have any fun in you,
when you are chuck full of it? You
wanted to break my back, didn't you?''