The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-04-01
DAKOTA.
A Sample OF It's Crop OF Liars.

F'o- the BrOekiya Eagle.
"Yes, SIR" observed the Dakota man,
as nc picked up his hat and prepared to
depart "Thc only thing we are trou-
bled with is lack of labor. We've tried
everything, but the hands make for
tune the first week or two and start
right out for themselves. We've pop
ulation Of capitalists, and it looks as
though We might go to the wall for want
of poor men TO do the heavy work !"
"Have you tried Cinnamon 2" asked
the editor.
"Tried everything. Now, there
Chinamen. Last fall wanted 10 get
in my cotton. Dakota grows the finest
cotton in the world. and my crop was
up to $500 bale. Couldn't hire aman
except few preachers, who were only
getting twelve or fifteen thousand year
and were willing 10 make few hundred
year extra by working in the fields
So put in thousand gross OF China
men TO pick that cotton"
"How did you come out ?" inquired
the editor, becoming interested.
"Didn't come out at all ! Amt out
yet ! Why, sir, that cotton was so white
and so firm tha, those Cinnamon just
rolled it up in little pellets and boiled
il for rice and ate it up Lost million
and half of bales ! Lucky for me, il
was only the second crop of the season,
and managed to pull through with third
and fourth, or I'd been busted. Chinese
won't do, sir, won't do Z"
al should think you would train your
Indians and PCT them at it," suggested
the editor.
"That's been tried. sir" replied the
Dakota man. "I,'s no use. Year be.
fore last | had TO call all hands off 10
run up new lead in my gold mine tha,
just started back Of the house TO amuse
the children, and Iput the whole Sioux
nation down in my meadow gathering
rice. You see, you can't get rice any
where like you get i, in Dakota, and
while | didn't really need the crop,
thought I'd take il in. Well, sir, those
savages worked tooth and nail for two
months, and finally they got it all in
Blu, il did me no good"
"why not 2" queried the editor.
"Why not Because those ill-begot.
ten aborigines just bored an auger hole
through each last grain Of rice and wen,
leap-frogging around the farm with the
whole crop hung around them for orna-
ments. Il may surprise you when tell
you that onlygot one grain of rice out
Of that crop, but it's a fact. / had il
cut off round and now | use il for 4
grind-stone. Then there's the hal
breeds from over the line, they're ter
rorl''
"Can't you do anything with them p
asked the astonished editor.
"Well, I should remark 10 the con
trary :" explained the Dakota man. al
organized eighteen regiments of 'em &c
look after my tobacco this winter. Yor
know it's so warm up there that you can
only grow tobacco during the cold
snaps and then you have to hire gang:
to hold umbrellas over it SOS to keeI
the sun of. got these half breeds
down and started 'em in. They were
so lazy they neglected il and the Who'll,
tobacco crop was sun struck. II caught
fire and when left il was burning yet. .
"Lost it all, eh !" murmured the par
alyzed editor.
"No, made little something out o
il. You see, Dakota soil is rich, sof
loan, about seven miles deep and yer!
easy to work. So ran pipes from my
farm over into Minnesota and down int
Nebraska and Wisconsin, and mad,
connections with the houses. All {
man in those States has to do now j
pick up his mouthpiece and smoke
The amount is regulated by meter, anc
don't come out dead loser on the deal
but no more half-breeds for mel Tn
through with that truck And I'm
through with Swedes, too, now you hea
me shoutl"
al thought they were the most indus
trious race1"
$50 they are, and there's the trouble
| ordered several car loads from th'
East and put 'em to work watching ny
sugar cane. The trouble with cane il
that country is il grows too fast, and
wanted hands to keep it back. Well
sir, those dog-gone Swedes just went in
and before / knew il that cane wa
three-quarters Of a mile high and III
molasses running all over everything
Washed away my house and barns AM
stock, and flooded the whole district.
didn't care for that, because / could al
ford il /; but all the game on the prairi