The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-12-01
Mark Twain's Sneech.

A militia regiment for Worcester, be.
ing upon visit to Hartford, Mark
Twain's home, he was put forward as
the spokesman TO welcome, officially,
the soldier guests of the city.
This is what Mark Twain said: His
Honor, the Mayor, deputies me to speak
for him in answer to the toast to the
City of Hartford. He is in politics, a
exceeding caution is necessary. / adj
mire his prudence as much as admire
my own intrepidity, because, although
he is not willing to answer for Hartford
and to indorse it, am. will back up
Hartford in everything else if he will be
responsible for the weather. Now, rs
am talking for Hartford, / will talk
earnestly but modestly.
There is much to see here-thc State
House, Colts factory and where tine
Charter Oak was. And we have an an
tiquity here-the East Hartford bridge.
Now, let me beseech you, don't go
way without seeing that 7tannel on
- zxou may think 1t q trifle. but go
u and See 1t! Think what 1t may be
to your posterity generations hence,
who come here and say ssThere's that
same old bridge" 1t is coeyal with the
food and will be coexistent with the
millennium. Hartford has larger
population than any other city except
ing Worcester, and it is the honestest
city in the world. Well, that will do
for Hartford. I will rest my case
there.
When asked to respond said would
be glad to, but there were reasons why
l could not make speech. But said
1 would talk. never made speech
without getting together lot Of statist-
les and being instructive. The man who
starts in upon speech without prepare
ton enters upon sea of infelicities and
troubles. I had thought of great many
things that intended to say. In fact,
nearly all of these things have heard
said here tonight had thought Of
Get man away down here on the
list and he starts out empty. l was
going to say something about prom
inent people and about the Foot Guards,
who had seen everything that has hap
pened for Ill years. Five years they
fought for King George and 100 for lib
crty. They fought Ill years and never
lost man. And the enemy never lost
man. What I mean, is to compli-
ment the Foot Guards, and 1 hope
have done so. One reason I didn't like
to come here to make prepared speech
was because l have sworn off. l have
reformed. l would not make prepar-
ed speech without statistics and philos-
ophy. The advantage of a prepared
speech is that you start when you are
ready and stop when you get through.
II unprepared, you are all at sea, you
don't know where you are. Thought
to achieve brevity, but / was mistaken.
A man never hangs on SO long on
his hind legs as when he don't know
when to stop.
| once heard man who tried to be
reformed. He tried to be brief. A
number of strangers sat in a hotel par
lOr One sat off to one side and said moth
ing. Finally all went out except one
man and this dummy. The dummy
touched this man on the shoulder and
said:
Il think have s-s-s-e (whistles) cen
you before"
What makes you whistler" asked
the other man."
Il used TO s-s-s-s-tammer, and the
d-d-d-d (whistles) octor told me when
w-w-w-w-w-w (whistles) wanted t-t-t-to
speak and st-t-t-t-ammered to whistle.
l d-d-d-tl-d- (whistle) id w-whistle, and
it c-c-c-ured me-"
So it is with man who makes an I'M
prepared speech. He tries to be brief
and it takes him longer. won't detain
You. We welcome you with cordial
hospitality, and if you remain we will
try and furnish better weather to-mor-
Worcester Spy.