The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-03-15
GLEANINGS.

Monday dabbled in future operations;
Tuesday owned millions by all calculations;
Wednesday my avenue palace began;
Thursday drove out spanking bay span;
Friday gave q magnificent ball;
And Saturday busted with nothing at all.
Adversely borrows its sharpest sting
from our impotence.
Pres. Eliot says that, with strict econ
omy, it costs about $500 year to be n
student at Harvard.
The loss to England by the last three
years bad harvest is estimated at from
500, 100000 to $3.50, 100000 year.
! see this has o little dashed your
spirits" is what the man said when he
put too much water in his friends COB
let.
another weather profit" said Blif-
fers, as he pocketed a five dollar bill
that he won on awager upon atmospher-
ic changes.
To get ahead, 60 to the butchers and
buy Calls head. OF course, if you
have one already, you needn't go. No
compulsion, you know.
The latest aesthetic slang the ladies
use when reproving their admiring gen
tlemen friends il. "You fiatter too aw-
fully perfectly much"
!. She Patsey, air you extetic?" He
"Say what air you givin usP' She-'You
know; air you fond of broken crockery,
and them things?"
Don't YOU think that Miss Brown is
sweet girl?n asked Henry. "Oh, yes,
very sweet replied Jane; "that is to
say, she is well preserved"
A statue of Zwingli is to be erected at
Zurich, the cost not to exceed $4,000
francs, and sculptors of all nations are
invited to compete.
Sambo smiles: 1t made our colored
gentleman smile when the doctor told
him that getting vaccinated was simply
taking matter from one calf to put into
another.
The meanest man that the world has
ever known has at last been discovered.
He died of spontaneous combustion, so
that his estate might escape the payment
of the undertaker's fees.
A party Of young men in Louisville
invested in cotton ''bucket shop" in
that city. When the bottom dropped
from the bucket they were S2OO,00 be-
hind.
1t is stated by DR.. Billings Omitted
States army, that 100000 people die
annually in the United States from pre-.
veutable diseases and avoidable acct
dents.
Englishmen now take off their gloves
when they take off their hats on entering
o house, hut IL isnltdpnc in Paris. Gem
tlcmen as well as ladies cling to their
gloves at the French capital.
The Wheeling (W. Va.) Register
notes that its state exchanges are almost
unanimously coming out in favor Of tho
abolition OF corporal punishment in
schools.
Gen. Sherman is only 81 years old,
and, though his vigor is apparent, there
are persons who want him to retire.
Moltke was Ga when he won his first
great battle.
Mrs. Gen. Custer, according to a cor
respondent of the Washington Post, is
in painfully straitened circumstances.
She barely supports herself by painting
PLAQUES.
The other day the Dubuque Times an
nounccd that n gentleman had return
cd from a 'succcssful journey east to
bury his wife" The editor explained
the next day that lie wrote it sorrow
full"
The old aristocracy of France is fast
disappearing. Only twenty-three Of tho
former peers are now living, and among
these are one prince, three dukes, five
marQuises, ten counts, two viscounts,
and one baron.
The latest craze among the young
masculine idiots in Massachusetts Is for
the collection Of hair-pins from young
ladies. These arc stitched into albums
and marked with the names Of the form
or owners.
The old man sighed as he took the
golden-haircd, laughing boy upon his
knees, and stroking his shining trcsses,
said: 'Ah, how much l should like to
feel like n child again" Little johnnie
ceased his laughter, and, looking sober
" up into his grandfather's face, re-
marked; Then why don't you gst
~ AMIN ~ II teysS aturf1E IN 1:oSi1,