The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1882-06-29
WANTED HIS wArERPRooF.
SPoOPendyke Home From Sea In
an AmiabIe state of Mind.

1 WANTED HIS wATERPROOF.
! Spoopendyke Home From Sea In
an AmiabIe state of Mind.
"My DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
of the Brooklyn Eagle, pulling the
shams off the bed, "where is my
my, where is my-you know what l
mean. What did you do with it?'
"Your shawl strap" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dropping the BABY
into the crib. "Oh, L know, your
dumb-bells. Is that what you want p
"Has that shawl strap got sleeves
to it" demanded Mr.. Spoopen-
chine. care those dumb-bells
split up the back and torn around
the collar? You know what /
want, my rubber overcoat. Where
did you put it ?" and Mr. Spoopen-
dyke pulled pile of letters out of
the pigeon-hole to his wite's desk
and spilled them along the floor.
"Where did you have it last"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, with
her finger in her mouth and con-
sternation in her eye.
"Had it onw grOwled Mr.. SpOop-
endyke. "Where'd we s'spose L had
it? Think had il for lunch? Don't
you know where the measly things
gone to? Spry around now and
find it! Take your finger out of
your mouth; L don't suppose it's in
there! Get that coat before it clears
up, will ye 2" and Mr.. SpOopendyke
shook the clock and then peered into
the mantel vases.
81 don't believe it's goingsto rain
much anyway" faltered Mrs. SpoOp-
endyke, who couldn't remember hav-
ing seen the coat tor month.
"When it looks like this it's always
| going to sunshine" and she followed
him around the room in a fiutter Of
apprehension.
GOT course it isw snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Things are going
to do just what you tell 'em to. If
you had q lot of tin figures in front
aud streak of mercury up your
spine, you'd only need sheet-iron
case and wire handle to be a
barometer If you'll look along
your measly information about the
weather, p'raps you'll find that over
coat at the other end of it, Where's
that coat? Going to let me stand
here aud soak while the moths picnic
that coat into a shad net? Take
coati" and MIR. SpoOpendyke tipped
the sofa over so that he could see
under it, and then slapped plaster
bust of Minerva against the wall,
under the impression that the coat
might have crawled in her ear.
"It's the strangest thing in the
world" giggled Mrs. Spoopendyke,
| Historically. "Are you sure you
wore it home?"
off l didn't. how'd it get homer"
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, putting
his hands on his knees and gr;nning
in his wife's face. "S'pose it hired
hack and drove home? Oh, no! L
didn't wear it home. The last | saw
of it, it had its hat over its ear and
female waterproof on it's arm, piking
up Fulton street as happy as
an alderman's funeral! Whatre We
standing there for? Got some in
distinct notion that the dod gasted
coat has gone to get shaved, haven't
ye? Who'd we give 1t to? Been
endowing a metaphysical chair in
some kind of all old woman's home,
haven't ye? Where's the coat? De-
velop the coat before L vitiate the
insurance p and Mr.. SpOopendyke
kicked his wife's workbasket across
| the room and rammed his arm to the
shoulder up the chimney.
"Do you remember where you
wore it last Z? asked Mrs. SpoOpen-
dyke, suddenly becoming calm and
analytical.
81 wore it on my back !" protested
Mr.. Spoopendyke, who didn't re-
member whether he had taken it
you're under the impression
that l tieu it to a stick and
wheeled it along on the buttons!
On my back, l tell We! On this par
ticular backw and Mr.. Spoopendyke
| almost broke his arm pointing out
the attraction referred to. "Most
folks fit up their rubber overcoats
with bent wire and a focus, and
wear 'em for spectacles, but hadn't
time; so wore it on my back Bring
forth the coatr yelled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, spinning around like a top.
Fetch out the measly coat before
| the proprietor of these premises
makes up his mind whether he'll
build q new house here or mortgage
the lot p
"You wore it the last day it ralned,
and when it cleared off in the after
noon L noticed that you had
on your spring overcoat," an
swered Mrs. SpOopendyke quietly.
"Great head p grunted Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, beginning to feel uncOm-
Portable, and wondering how it was
coming out. with your perspec-
tive faculties and meteorological
education, you only need one more
leg and a clear night TO be a dod
gasted street telescope at ten cents
a peepl What of it? 'Spect | did
wear spring overceatl It's spring,
amt it?''
"And | don't know" continued
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "but think you
had it on over your waterproof. If
you'll look, you may find the rubber
coat inside of the other now"
Mr.. SpoOpendyke growled and
snorted his way to the closet like a
fog horn, and found things as his
wife had predicted.
"Smart, amt yep he grumbled, as
he hauled out the waterproof.
"Great powers of inductive reason
ing! Some day Pm going to fit you
up with a stiff neck and a pot of
beans and start Concord school of
philosophy with you"
And with this threat Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke threw the coat over his arm,
and all the way to ConeY Island en-
tertained lis friend Specklewottle
with description of his habits of
order, (which are so perfect, sir, that
l could put my thumb on anything
l wanted, sir-lf my wife would only
let things alonep