The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1882-02-11
A cool PROPOSITION.
How q widower Wanted 20 Get an Ice
berg Monument for his Wife's Grave.

How q widower Wanted 20 Get an Ice
berg Monument for his Wife's Grave.
The morning before the ill-fated jean
nette, with Captain De Long, set sail
for the frozen north--that bourne from
which so few travellers return-the officer
Of the deck noticed 4 peculiar tapping
sound on the ships stern, and, on look
ing over the side, perceived whitehall
boat, in which sat solemn looking man
dressed in black, and with a Grape tand
around his hat. This sepulchral look
ing party kept up an inpatient rapping
on the rudder-post with his knuckles.
"Whai the blazes do YOU want9 Why
don't YOU come up the sidel" inquired
the officer.
because wish TO find out if this is
the righ; ship" replied the man in
black. ''ls Captain DE Long At home9' -
That's my name" said that amiable
commander. sticking his hali.shaved
head OF; OF the port hole Of the cap
iain's cabin. razor in hand. "What
can do for your"
"Captain," said the stranger, sinking
his voice to n confidential whisper,
"you are going up among the icebergs,
amt you,"
why, YES. why7"
What do YOU think il would cost TO
tow 4 good, big, tall one back here on
your return trip? What could you afford
10 DO i, for :? Best terms, mind 80
"Well, that's cool, F" said the Captain,
much asionished.
"Of course il is-that Is just the
point" said the solemn party, earnest
| Is. 'You-see, the fact Is that ! lost my
wife about two weeks ago"
"SoTry for you" returned the Cap
,aip.
"You wouldn't say iha; if you we're a
friend of mine" earnestly interrupted
the man in the boat. martha was
about the mos; oantakerous, bad-tem-
pcfed. scandal-loving old vixen ever
saw.
Then | congratulate YOU"
THAT more ike Il, continued the
uidowcr. "'tis. indeed. Besides all
that. the late Mrs P.-my names Pliff
WIS decidedly fond Of tea with stick
IN Il YOU understand. Uscd 10 make
/ j, jas, lovely for me. when she sprung a
leak. and don't you forget it. !"
"ie>. bu; don't see wha; all this
began the @carohcr for the North Pole.
Il was Just going TO explain, ;" put in
Mr Plid. You see, Martha was 4
good BIT OF a spiri;uali>i, and when she
died She said good deal about being
my guardian angel in the better world,
and al thar sort OF stuff. She said she i
keep her spin; eye on me, and il she
caughtmc shining round nights or gall
wanting with the girls she'd haun; me
make !, blamed hot. think she
said I"
well. sir, bu,-'
Jus; one minute. II occurred 10 me
al first that I'd erect a forty TOO; mar.
bic monument over Mar;ha's grave, as
she'd lef; me a good 10; of bonds and
things. Something that would not only
be gratifying TO her feelings, but would
weigh 4; leas; sixty tons and be calcu-
lated TO rivc the order yesterday, when
GOT 10 thinking OF some OF Mrs. 7. ;
l;,lc traits. and It occurred TO me that
ii the old lady 60; her deserts she mus;
have a pretty hot time OF il down there.
came across 4 notice OF your cxpedi-
,ion. and the idea struck me like pile
driver that an iceberg was just the thing
Tor her monument after all. Now,
marble is al very pretty and cool to look
} At. bu, i; seems to me that a good, tai
iccberg-one that would take long
while 10 mcl,-would keep oozing ice
water, as il were, around the remains IN
a manner calculated 10 keep most an,
departed spirit kinder cool and con
tented like, no matter what they had
done. How does il strike you?"
"Well, I'm blowed," said the Arctic
investigator.
And so," concluded the yearnel
after mental peace, 81 concluded &c
come right out here and see il couldn't
arrange bargain with YOU all YOU'D
have to do would be TO hook on &c
some good, solid, reliable berg and tow
i, righ, along back with you. II i
don't COS, over $4,000 | wish YOU'D
! take the order. What say, eh ?"
And il was only after the captain had
formally agreed TO accept the contrac
that the bereaved husband concluded tC
fire trade dollar through the port-hol,
to bind the bargain, and then paddl,
, serenely ashore.-Df,yIfk Dodd in .Sa'
Francisco Pest.