Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-10-28
SATURDAY SMILES.

A little three-year-old, whose mother was
mixing a simple cough medicine for him,
watched the process and asked IL it was good.
He was permitted to taste it, and having discov-
cred q bitterness i'm the decoction which was
not suitable to the present wants Of his palate
he exclaimed: Its awful good, mamma; let's
keep it all for papa" .....
Force of habt At the bank Clerk-''what
do you wish, slr?" Ruffian-" Why, 1 Just
dropped in to tell you that am the man that
knocked down and robbed your cashier"
Clerk-"Well, sir, I'm very sorry; but you'll
have to identify yourself, sir. Detroit Free
Press.
Getting ready: 500 you keep a full supply
of base ball requirements here Z" asked gloomy
browed young man the other day, as he entered
a Market street hardware store Yes. sir;
everything In that line" 'Then you may wrap
me up bottle of arnica. paper Of courtplas-
ter. and green eye-shade. I'm going to catch
for the knckerbocker nine this afternoon
San Francisco Post.
Medical etiquette: A German paper has
rather good story about a lady who, not feeling
as well as she liked. went to consult O physi-
clan. swell" said the doctor, after looking at
her tongue. feeling her pulse and asking her
sundry questions, 81 should advise you. yes, |
should advise you-ahem!-to get married"
''Are you single, dOctOr3" inquired the fair pa
tient, with significant yet modest smile. Il
am. mein Fraulein: but it is not etiquette, you
know, for physicians to take the physic they
prescribe. "5Boston Globe.
A definition; 'Pa. what Is an employment
agent?" "Why. my son, he Is q man who Is very
anxious to get work tor others to do He him
Self doesn't want any."-LouisUiue Courier Jour.
nal
When a man says he is satisfied with his lot
you may be sure of one or two things. either
he is a very unenterprising specimen Of human.
ity or he Is lying.-BoSton Transcript.
Political misfortune: ''But how did you hap
pen to lose the nomination.? A majority Of the
delegates were in favor OF you and everybody
supposed you would be q candidate" $50 did
l, and 1t was all owing to certain man being
taken Unexpectedly ILL" 'What mani" "The
man L hired to get the boss drunk. "-Brookiyn
Eagle.
The committee on judiciary of the Lime Kiln
club reported a petition from go colored citl-
zens OF Ohio, praying the club to use its influ-
ence to secure a new pension law. Under the
present law the grandson OF a man who In.
tended to enlist, but never got around to 1t ow-
Ing to the pressure of private business, cannot
make the Pension bureau clOthe ana feed
him, and congressional act is needed 70
remedy this oversight.-Detroa Free Press.
Capacity of the Chicago stocking: Papa"
said a gushing young damsel Of Chicago, 81
want you to give me this Christmas q sealskin
sack and muff. pair OF diamond earrings, that
beautiful writIng-desk We were looking at the
other day and bushels and bushels OF French
candy. Will you, papa2" and the dear things
ewes danced In glowing anticipation, while her
feet beat q tattoo on the veltet carpet that
sounded like mufied thunder. "Ah, my dear
child, replied the proud father, as he gazed st
his daughter with q pensive, pward-tendency-
in-pork look. indeed will. Just hang your
stocking up in the back yard and viii Ill it for
you darling, II have to chuck In house and
iot"-ROchester Post Express.
As rule the men who have been driven
crazy by misfortune did not have far to co.
Ne,c Orleans Piody,ne.
One OF the sweetest-looking girls I'm the state
of Missouri dislocated her shoulder the other
day by kicking a cat. Handsome Is as hand
some does. but she should not kick with her
right arm.-Ee1c Orleans Pscoyune.
Washington has .'coInct partiea" "a good
idea, by Jupiter" says young Spinks; 'for the
boys can now planet to get the girle away nom
their Mars ~ broski,n AyHus.