davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
The Ways Of Two Women.

Two women got into Third avenue
car the other day, every seat of which
was filled. One Of the women had pre-
maturely grey hair, and wore spectacles
because she was near-sightcd. The 9th
er was homely and carried big bag. ,
A beautiful girl jumped up and said
to the grey-haired woman:
"rake my seat, madam, l am young
or than YOU"
Then every man in the car rose and
offered his place to the beautiful girl,
who only smiled sweetly and said:
mo, thank you, prefer to stand"
Meanwhile the woman with grey hair
hung to a strap and glared at the crowd;
II may not be chit of seventeen"
she said, in vinegar tones" but Pm not
infirm, I'd let you know, and can stand
up as long as anybody" -,
And the homely woman with the
basket sat down in a space fourteen
inches wide and wondered what it was
all about.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
What Doas Il.

DR.. Book, of Leipsic, is responsible
for the following note on the relation
between morals and what people eat and
drink: "The nervousness and peevish-
ness of our times are chiefly attributed
to tea and coffee; the digestive organs
of confirmed coffee-drinkers are in q
state of chronic arrangement, which re-
acts upon the brain. producing fretful
and lachrymose moods. Fine ladies adj
dicted to strong coffee have a character
istic temper, which might describe rs
a mania for acting the prosecuted saint
Chocolate is neutral in its psychical eff
fects, and is really the most harmless of
our fashionable drinks. The snappish,
petulant humor of the Chinese is GER
tainly to be ascribed to their immoder-
ate fOndness for tea. Beer brutalizes,
wine impressions, whisky infuriates, but
eventually humans. Alcoholic drinks
combined with flesh and fat diet SUBJ
jugate the moral man, unless their influ-
ence be counteracted by violent exer-
ciSe.o
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
A Missing Baby,

A woman was wheeling baby-wagon
carefully across the Campus Martius
yesterday, when several men screamed
to her to '.look out!' and q span of
horses, driven wildly. came tearing
across, as if about to demolish every
body. With the persistency Of her sex,
however, the woman looked the other
way, and in q moment the baby-wagon
was overthrown and lay turned over in
q heap, while the carriage kept on up
Woodward avenue without even slack
ing speed.
One man in q spring overcoat and
sunfower gloves ran and turned the
buggy up, expecting to find the baby
dead underneath, and number of Ia
dies shrieked and begged him to get the
s.dear little thing out" Several gentle
men who had been leaning in musing
mood against the Detroit opera-house,
essayed to help him, but though they
righted the buggy, no baby was seen.
'.It's smothered in the mudp" Shrek
ed one of the ladies.
1T must have chung to the horse and
have been carried off," suggested ano.
Their.
"How did it get away" they all ask.
ed.
mo doubt the poor little thing is dead
by this time" said another kindly mat
ron. "Have you looked all through the
thingsP"
At this moment 1t occurred. to some
of them that the mother would be the
right person to appeal to, and they turn
ed to her. She was standing ooolly on
the crossing, arms akimbo. watching the
proceedings. -
.'The baby is all right" she said air.
lily. II left her home while / took the
buggy to bring the washing. Hev you
got all the pieces picked upp cos Il you
have l might as well be goin' on"
To see the disgust impressed on the
countenances OF all interested was q
study in human nature. Not one Of the
crowd was glad that baby was safe at
home. They would much rather have
picked 1t out Of the mud. But each one
recalled the fact that . man was hung
once for not attending to his own bust
ness, and sneaked of.-Detroit Post.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
Suicide in France.

The Frenchman-that gay, reckless
citizen of the world-kills himself to a
very large extent. No less than one
hundred and forty-nine Frenchmen COM
NIT suicide every year. This is what we
might expect of a people struggling to
remember day by day whether they are
living under a king or an emperor or
one or two or three kinds of republics
The reading of French newspapers must
also be a prolific cause Of suicide. The
reader is liable at almost any time to be
shocked by finding news paragraph
setting forth some occurrence of not
more than three days old. OF course, a
Frenchman of n nervous temperament
would be seriously disturbed bya sue
cession of such shocks happening with
in a space of say not moro than six
months, and would very likely, in his
excitement, seek the sure serenity OF
death. Life is hardly worth living in a
country where you may be dragged out
of bed at any hour in tho night by cx-
cited patriots and required to lend a
hand in upsetting the government. The
wonder is not that SO many Frenchmen
commit suicide, but that suicide is not
the universal practice.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
The Barber.
ortline Sketch of a Professions

ortne Sketch of Professional Career.
The barber. children, 10 of an extinct
species. The hair-drcsscr and tOnsorial
artist of the present day are supposed,
however. to be descendants of the barber
in direct line.
The barber is u trcacherous creature.
He is never To be depended upon. He
las been known to cut his best friends.
He is remarkably sharp in u business
transaction, and he will shave you il
YOU give him chance. In fact, shaving
may be- said to be his business.
The barber is a strapping fellow. and
Is ever ready To razor row. / have fire.
quently seen him take a man by the nose
without the least pr0vocation.
He always wants his hone way, and is
always ready for brush.
He has his shortcom 90 ings, to be sure,
and is apt to stir up your dander; but he
has - very smooth tongue, and knows
how to lay on the lathcr.
Heis generally honest in his judgments,
and sincere in pooh-poohng shams and
delusions; but ut the same time he is
given to a great deal of shampooing.
can't say that he was ever charged
with murder, but thousands of people
dye in his shop yearly.
Formerly the barber was surgeon
also, and used to be paid for bleeding
his customers. Nowadays he draws blood
without extra charge.
The barber sees agreat many affecting
scenes. There is good deal of parting
going on every day in his shop.
The barber seldom uses nails when
shingling, though he may use them when
he comes to the scratch.
The barber is very secretive fellow.
You will find locks everywhere about
his place.
lie has little recreation. Curling is
his chief amusement.
He always stands well in his profess
sion. You will generally find him at
the head.
He never makes game of his work, I'M
less hair-dressing may be considered q
rare bit of pleasantly.
The barber has to stand great deal
from his customers. He does not care,
however, how much check they display
in his establishment, and the more chin
they give him the better he likes it
The BARRIERS wife goes shopping, just
like other women, though she ought to
be able to get hirsuite at her husbands
establishment. She probably prefers to
whisker round elsewhere.
Though the barber may have no child
rem to receive his Inheritance, there are
always many hairs apparent at his shop.
The BARRIERS motto is: Soap on, soap
ever"
There are many more things might
tell you of the barber, but he is great
conversationalist and amply able to speak
for himself.-BoStOH Transcript.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
Romance Of Arithmetic.

The following story about Mohammed
Ali and the camels is not new, but it is
interesting:
A Persian died, leaving seventeen
camels to be divided among his three
sons in the following proportions: the
eldest to have half, tho second third,
and the youngest ninth. Of course
camels can't be divided into fractions,
so, in despair, the brothers submitted
their difficulty to Mohammed Ali.
"rll lend you another camel to make
eighteen, and now divide them your
selves" The consequence was, each
brother got from onc-eighth to one-half
of camel more than he was entitled to,
and Ali received his camel back again;
the eldest brother getting nine camels,
the second six, and the third two.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
A Very Long Sleep.

An Egyptian desert snail was receiv-
ed ut the British Museum on March rs,
1876. The animal was not known to be
alive, as it had withdrawn into its shell,
and the specimen was accordingly gum
med. mouth downward, on to tablet
duly labeled and dated, and left to its
fate. Instead of starving, this content
ed gasteropod simply went to sleep in O
quiet way, and never woke up again for
four years. The tablet was then placed
10 tepid water and the shell loosened,
when the dormant snail suddenly resus-
citated himself. began walking about
the basin, and finally sat for his portrait,
which may be seen of life size in Mr..
Woodward's manual of the Mollusca. T"
Now, during those four years the snail
had never eaten mouthful of any food,
yet he was quite as well and flourishing
at the end Of the period as he had been
at its beginning.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
The DANCERS of Careless Surgery.

1t is related that one distinguished
surgeon lately left sponge, and another
a pair of forceps, in the cavity after an
abdominal operation. Yet another would
have left large seal ring in the same
place but for gentle reminder from a
Interpretations 1t seems hard that
surgeons should run the awful risk of
losing jewelry and instruments by sew
ing them up in the vitals of their pa
tients. 1t is due to them to say, how
ever, that the rule is to carefully count
the sponges and instruments during the
progress of such operations. This is
we'll 1t would be dreadful matter, for
instance, if a man should have a couple
of chairs or house and lot grated into
him while he was being treated for Q
gunshot wound.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
Rather. Green.

'Of all the rllstics that stop at this
house, the natives from Bodie take the
matza," said the room clerk of the Bald
win to Post reporter the other day.
"Sarter green-eh"'
Green? Well, l should Singer. You
see. because they've been making a
little coin up that way they think they
know it all. A party of four got here
yesterday morning, and started out shop
ping right after breakfast. At dinner
they came in all shaved, trimmed up,
and logged out with new suits, and I'm
blessed if each didn't have a red flannel
chest protector hung round his neck
out side of his coat. They actually be-
lieved they were some stylish new ar
rangement to protect the clothes from
being soiled while at the table. San
Francisco Post.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
"Not Rv n Fair Draft"

The Legislature of North Carolina
was in session, soon after the late war,
and a lobbyist had failed to get through
a pet Scheme. He was in consequence
much Disguised at the whole thing, and
was freely expressing his opinion.
faint no use talking to me-" he
said. "If you were to pick the whole
State over, you couldn't find 100 as
double d-dashcd fools rs we've got in
this Legislature.
well, my friend" said Nick Wood
fin, 81 can't say that ! agree with you
there. think it possible that number
of that kind of fools might be had in the
State by picking; but l don't think they
could be got by anything like fail
draft" ,,r
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
Longfellow's Finest Sonnet.

"As fond mother. when tn. day III DER
Leads Icy the hand her little child To- bed,
Half willing. half r.luctant To- hc led,
And leaves his broken playthingS on tho
noor,
Still gazing ut them through tho open door,
Nor wholly rcaSsured AMI comfortcd
by promises or others in their stead,
which, though more splendid, may not please
him more:
So Nature deals with us. and takes away
Our playthingI one 10y ono, and 10y the hand
Leads us To rest 80 gently that we go
Scarce knowing IL we wish To go ar say
Being too-ful of sleep to understand
How far the unknown transccnds the what
We know"
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
Profit on Poultry.

A correspondent to the Prairie
Farmer writes as follows on the profit
of poultry:
allow much profit can make on 100
hens in one yearT asks one who thinks
of going into the "chicken business"
and another asks: allow much can you
make per head Oh every fowl kept3"
Exactly how much profit yon can
make in year on any given number of
fowls depends upon circumstances, and
the chief circumstance" are your
knowledge Of poultry raising and the
locality in which you live. think that
l may safely say that any person who
possesses the average amount of brains,
the average amount of knowledge of
poultry raising, and will give his fowls
deacent care, can make 500 in one year
from a flock of 100 hens. People who
live in the most favorable localities for
raising and marketing poultry and eggs,
who possess thorough knowledge of
poultry raising, and who give their
fowls the best Of care, can make consid-
cradle more than 81 per head profit on
every fowl kept. In farmers families
where eggs and chickens are consumed
as freely as they should be the amount
thus used will pay for the keeping of
flock of moderate size-say from thirty
to fifty hens-and in localities where
manure is valuable, the dropping from
a flock of that size would, If saved in
proper shape, pay for the time consumed
in caring for the flock. This may sound
like rare statement, but those who
have experimental and who ought to
know declare that poultry manure is
one of the strongest fertilizers on earth,
and that from sixty to eighty bushel of
shelled corn per acre can be raised by
the use OF hen manure on land that
otherwise would not bear paying crop.
The truck farmers of New Jersey and
Long Island understand the value of
poultry manure, and buy all they can
get, but half the farmers, especially in
the West, allow this valuable fertil-
izer to 90 to waste, and then raise the
old cry "poultry don't pay" From
my own experience with poultry 1 am
prepared to say that in proportion to
the amount of time, labor and capital
invested poultry pays better than any
other live stock on the farm-babies
excepted.
In reply to the second question I will
say that one year made almost 81 900
on flock of 200 breeding fowls-ducks,
chickens and turkeys, but q goodly
number of the fowls were sold for
breeding and for exhibition, and of
course brought Q good deal above
market prices. I can make % per head
profit on every fowl kept, and sell every
thing at market prices. Of course
somebody will get up and contradict
this statement, but that will not alter
the facts.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
A Charmed Serpent,

At meeting in the chapel of one of
the hill towns of this State, short time
since, while the lady was playing the
cabinet organ. and the congregation
singing q hymn, an adder some three
feet long crawled out from under the or
gan, lifted his head, and apparently list
ened to the music. The lady had pres
ence of mind to continue her playing
till the hymn was sung:
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26

1t is said that young man can cure
himself Of nervousness by playing on Q
violin. What Is to become Of the other
boarders in the house tho man does not
say.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26

Clereymen consider this world only
as a diligence in which they can travel
to another. -Napole07s =.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26

OF the 5S,097 school children in Chic
AGO. 48, 589 attend school daily.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1882-05-26
A Valid Marriage.
A Maine justice of the peace used this
ceremonv at a mock wedding:

ceremony at mock wedding:
Beneath this roof in pleasant weather,
I Join this man and maid together.
Let none but Him who rules the thunder
Put this man and maid asunder.
The courts held the marriage was legal,
and the town had to support the wife.
who was abandoned by her husband. al
though it set up the claim the contract
was bogus one.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-04-29
This Noise Must Cease.

On recent occasion Bishop Gilmour
was preaching in the Cincinnati Cathe-
dral. 1t appears that, like some other
preachers, be is in the habit OF pound
ing while expounding the gospel. The
pulpit at the cathedral is situated near
the center of the auditorium, against a
large pillar, and the altar is some dis
tance away. Seated at the north side
of the altar were Bishop Elder and
others, and on account of the pillar
they could not command view of the
pulpit or Bishop Gilmour. At about
the middle of his sermon Bishop Gil
mour came to forcible passage, and
hammered vigorously on the pulpit,
creating loud noise, and kept 1T up
for nearly minute. ssStop that noise, /"
cried Bishop Elder, rising to his feet,
and astonishing the congregation, who
were at loss to know what to make
Of the unusual proceeding. Bishop
Gilmour kept on the even tenor OF his
way. 81 demand that there be silence, "
said Bishop Elder. This brought the
humping emphasis to an end, and the
astonished Bishop turned and faced the
altar. Bishop Elder now discovered his
part of the mistake and said: 81 beg
your pardon, sir; ! thought it was some
one in the congregation creating the
disturbance" There were no other in
terruptions.-E'cchdnge.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-04-29
\ Insanity in the Family.

".Shubah Smith, don't believe YOU
belong to the Limekiln Club" said his
Honor to tall and lathy African, who
bowed and scraped on the mark.
No, sab, l DOESN'T
ssThat club wouldn't keep member
who was up to such business as you were
on last night n
sWas l 'toxicated, sah?' Fas
"You were, and you also hit man
with brick-' a
"Now, Jedge, let me dun tole you
how it was. You see, I seed Cundu-
range Jones gwine up de alley. He's
great joker, an he likes fun. | picked
up de brick an giE it toss to skeer
him, an you doan' know. how .w,lss i
felt when it hit him between de eS es
an he fell down in a heap. All /
wanted was to play an April Fool joke
on him."
"But April Fool doesn't come on the
last day of March,
"Dat's so, sab, but l was gittin' dis
one in ahead.''
''Oh, you were. Well I'll have to
follow your plan. I'll get in one ahead
by boosting you for thirty days"
6 Gwine to send me to Toledo?"
g No, sir. You are going to the Work
House, a4ssau t.,
edo dey want me up dar9''
"I presume 50. Fall back and take
a seat''
"yedge, kin tole you how dat fuss
WASP"
"You have already told me. You hit
Mr.. Jones with brick ia fun.'
"Jedge, wasn't de man! At de time
he was hit was asleep in bed, an [ kin
p'ove it by fo' pussons.
'sWhat did you say you hit him for if
you didn't?''
g Kase insanity runs in de family.
We's all got it, an we am not 'sponsible
fur what we do"
"Well see about that. The SEN
tence stands at thirty days, and if see
any rolling Of the eyes I'll double it.''
There was no rolling. The prisoner
retired to seat in the corridor, bor-
rowed chew of tobacco, and remarked
to Bijah:
"Soon's I git out O. dar' Ize gwine TO
advise de family to gin up de insanity
bizness an lib like oder folks. ."-Detr0it
Free Press.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-04-29
LATE NEWS ITEMS.

THE Mississippi River Improvement
bill, appropriating $4,000, 900, passed the
Senate on the 25th. All pending amend
ments to increase the appropriation and APP
ply part Of the money for the benefit Of the
levee system were Withdrawn, and the bill
passed by viva voce vote without objec-
tions.
A FEARFUL cyclone struck the lower
edge Of Bibb County, Ga, the other night,
passing into Twiggs, Jones and Wilkinson
Counties, plowing track 800 yards wide,
moving down fences and farm buildings.
Samuel Cove, father of Samuel F. Cove, ex-
Republican member OF Congress, living
one mile from Griswold's, was killed.
Also Miss Lockhart, near Gordon. Death
and destruction is reported in Dallas County
Ala. At Kings Landing three negroes were
killed and at Graves Ferry two others
were killed. Many others at the latter place
were seriously wounded. North Carolina
was also visited. One church, two saw
mills, several dwellings and large number
OF other buildings were destroyed. One
child was killed and two adults seriously in
jured.
The Supreme Court in banc has de-
cided to hear argument on the bill Of excep-
tions in Guteau's case on Monday, May s.
A LONDON journal predicts that in
few days all the American suspects impris-
oned in Ireland will have left the country.
AT Greensburg, Ind, April "a, a
mob of fifty masked men called on the jailer
and by choking tried to get his keys, but
failed. They then knocked in the jail door,
took out p. M. Garrett, and hanged him to
tree ten feet from the Jail, placing pla-
card on his body: ''This is greeting to the
Jennings County jury" Garrett had been
acquitted OF completely in the assassination
of Mr.. Walton, and after acquittal had been
arrested on another charge.
AT Wheeling, w. Va, on the oath,
three children named Kindleberger got hold
OF some poke root given to their parents by
mistake for bois dare, and ate of it freely.
One boy died and the other two were not
expected to recover.
Mrs. SoMMERs, living near North
Georgetown. Tuscarawas County, Ohio,
was shot twice and fatally wounded by a
tramp, April "a, who was refused work on
the farm. Fifty men started in pursuit
| with the determination to lynch him.
THE victims of the Apache outbreak
| in Arizona are now placed at over forty.
THE wife of Charles Nettle, brake
man on the Michigan Central, living in De-
troit, Mich, was found in bed, April "A,
with bullet in her brain, which entered at
the left eye. She had lived apart from her
| husband some time and was intimate with
| one Jas. Brown, who has been arrested
| pending examinations