The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1882-10-13
FARMER VS.. DOCTOR.
A Good Story or Aieck stevens and Bob.
Toombs.

A Georgia doctor named Royston sued
Peter Bennett for his bill, long over
due, for attending the wife of the lat
ter. Alexander H. Stephens was on the
Bennett side, and Robert Toombs, then
Senator of the United States, was for
DIR. Royston. The doctor proved the
number of his visits, their value accord
ing to local custom, and his own au-
thority to do medical practice. Mr..
Stephens told his client that the physi-
clan had made out his case, and there
was nothing wherewith to rebut or Off
set the claim, the only thing left to do
was to pay it. mo" said Peter, al
hired you to speak in my case, and now
speak"
Mr.. Stephens told him there was
nothing to say; he had looked on to see
that it was made out, and it was.
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make q speech
himself, if he thought one could be
made.
81 will" said Peter Bennett, "if
Bobby Toombs will not be hard on
me-"
Senator Tooinbs promised, and Peter
began:
Gentlemen of the jury-You and L
is plain farmers, and if we don't stick
together, these ere lawyers and doctors
will get the advantage of us. L amt
no objections to them in their proper
place; but they amt farmers, gentle
men of the jury
Nov, this man Royston was a new
doctor, and L went for him to come an
to doctor my wife's sore leg. And he
come an put some salve truck onto it
and some rags, but never done it one
bit of good, gentlemen of the jury. /
don't believe he is no doctor, no way.
There is doctors as is doctors sure
enough, but this man don't earn his
money; and if you send for him, as Mrs.
Sarah Atkinson did, for negro boy as
was worth 81 900 he just kills him and
wants pay for it,"
81 don't" Numbered the doctor.
Odd you cure him ?" asked Peter,
with the low accencts of Judge with a
black cap on.
The doctor was silent and Peter pro-
ceeded:
"As 1 was sayin', gentlemen of the
jury, we farmers, when we sell our cot
ton, has got to give vally for the money
we ask, and doctors amt none too good
to be put to the same rule. And L don't
believe this Sam Royston is no doctor,
no how"
The physician again put in his oar,
with Look at my diploma, if you think
L am no doctor"
"His diplomat" exclaimed the new
fedged orator. with great contempt.
"His diploma Gentlemen, that is
big word for printed sheepskins, and it
didn't make no doctor of the sheep as
first wore it, nor does it of the man as
now carries it, and pint out to we that
he amt no doctor at all"
The man of medicine was now in a
fury, and screamed out, ask my pa
tients if / am not doctorn
II asked my wife," retorted Peter,
"an' she said as how she thought you
wasn't"
"Ask my other patients" said DR..
Royston.
This seemed to be the straw that
broke the camel's back, for Peter re-
piled with a look and tone of unuttera-
BILE sadness:
THAT is n hard sayin, gentlemen of
the jury, and one that requires me to
die or to have powers as I've hearn
tell ceased to be exercised since the
Apostles. Does he expect me to bring
she Angel of Gabriel down to toot his
horn before the time and cry aloud,
Awake we dead, and tell this court and
jury your opinion of Royston's prac
tice? Am / to go to the tomb and say
to UNI az is at last rest from physic and
doctor bills, Cit up here, you, and state
if YOU died natural death, or was hnr-
ried up some by doctors?' He says ask
his patients, and, gentlemen of the jury,
they are all dead Where is Mrs
BeaZley's man Sam ? Go ask the worms
in the graveyard where he lies. Mr.
Peake's woman Sarah was attended by
him, and her funeral was appointed,
and he had the corpse ready. Where
is that likely Bill as belonged to Mr.
Mitchell? Now in glory and express
in his opinion on Royston's doctorin'
Where is that baby gal of Harry Ste
phens'? She are where doctors cease
from troublin and inphants are at rest
Gentlemen of the jury, he has eat
chickens enough ut my house to pay
for his salve, and furnished the rags,
and 1 don't suppose he charges for
maxim of her worse, and even he don't
pretend to charge for curin' of her, and
am humbly thankful that he never
gave her nothin' for her inwards, as he
did his other patients, for somethin'
made 'em all die mighty sudden
Here the applause made the speaker
sit down in great confusion, and in
spite of a logical restatement of the
case by Senator Toombs, the doctor