St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1882-01-07

malarial diseases, fever and ague,
positively cured by using Browns
Iron Bitters.
4 quail on toast is worth o whole
bagfuii in o market house, and one
herring il the hand is worth more
than q school of salmon when the
salmon are in the school.
"Don't stand on ceremony, come
in" said q lady to farmer, who
called to see her husband. "My
goodness; excuse ne, marm!" ex-
claimed the old man, 'thort I was
standin' on the door mat"
"Can't we have scollopod oysters
some day2" asked o dainty boarder
OF his landlady. 81 don't think l
know how TO scollop oysters" was
the reply. 'Thon bias some," said
the funny man at the table.
A minister once asked little
Christian boy if the devil did not
sometimes tell him he was not q
Christian? "Yes, sir, sometimes.
"INell, what do you do?" 81 just
tell him It's none of his business"
replied the boy.
Buttermilk is said to be a cure
for red noses. This is why some OF
our first-class bars keep it on
draught right alongside of the red
nose producers. A kind of the
chair of the dog which bit you" as
it were.
When a man turns up his eyes
piously toward the skies and de-
clares that he is ready to die at any
time, you may conclude with tolei-
able accuracy that he owes several
weeks board, aud that his credit is
bad at his washerwoman's.
A school teacher discharged for
using the rod too freely, applied for
employment in dressmaker's es-
adjustment. "Have you had any
experience in sewing?" asked the
dressmaker. 'No," was the reply;
"but I have thorough knowledge
of basting." |
"Whew! Coming up these stairs
takes the wind out of me" remarks
the gentleman who climbs to the
editorial room to give advice about
running the paper. $50 glad,
says the editor, shaking him by the
hand, and the gentleman thinks the
editor is delighted with him.
An Austin clergyman, whose name
we suppress on account of his sacred
calling, was absorbed in thought a
few days ago, just before divine SER
vice began, when he was approach
ed by the organist, who asked, re-
fering to the opening hymn: "What
shall I play?" "What kind of a
hand have you got?" responded the
absent-minded clergyman.-Ieras
Sytings.
She sported wart on the end of
her nose, she had false teeth and :
glass eye, her hair was red, her face
freckled and she was pigeon toed
and wore No. s gaiter. In spite ]
Of all this he resigned the love of a {
beautiful maiden to marry her.
And was he happy? he was.
Whyp Easy enough. He had been {
4 newspaper man for fifteen years,
and the girl was rich.
At recent banquet in Chicago,
one toast ives as follows: "Woman
without her, man is a brute"
The toast master read it as follows: ]
'Toman-without her man, is a
,rute." The joke of it was that the
nan who was to respond to the i
;oast had supposed the former read l
ng OF it Yves correct, and had pre- J
pared q speech complimenting {
women, but when he heard the j
;oast as read, be pocketed his writ
en speech and made an impromptu I
speech in which he glorifed man :
IS eli that was angelic, and showed 5
ne great influence they had over 1
and how without her I
man," woman would be pretty ,
ough. 10 make it hight tho !
oapers are going 10 print both
speeches. It makes all the differ f
nee in the world how you punctu-
tie toast.-Peck's Sun.