Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1882-01-22
PATENT MEDICINE ADvEsrIsERs


Verify this is an age of humbuggery. The
American people exemplify by their con-
duct that there is indeed as much pleasure in
being cheated as to cheat As fast as one
humbug is exposed and consigned to the
friendly earth another sprouts upon its
grave. The most stupendous stock jobbing
sehemes-frauds from their inception, and
palpable failures from the beginning-have
their victims. The South Sea bubble, the
most enormous fabric Of national delusion
ever raised among intelligent people, found
enthusiastic patrons 10 merchants, lawyers,
clergymen and physicians of England, who
passed from dreams of fabulous wealth to
penury and want. 1t is bad enough to be
humbugged by Keely with his motor and
Edison with his electric light, but il is still
worse to be deluded by patent med
ieine nostrums. These follow each other in
rapid succession, and so soon as the adver-
-tiser sAriches himself his medicines are for
gotten and he retires to his palace to enjoy
his wealth, dishonesty gained, and to laugh
at the credulity and gullibility of the world.
One of the first great patent medicine adver-
tisers forty years ago was DIR. Brandeth, the
inventor of Brandeth's pills. He took the
absurd position that all diseases originated
IN the impurity of the blood and that his
pills would cure every ailment to which the
human family was subject. An analysis
of his patent pills showed that they were
patent frauds, but it was difficult for him to
supply the demand. Brandeth's pills have
long since been consigned to the tomb of
exploded humbugs; but the swiDdler is a |
millionaire still living on the fruits of his |
fraud. Hundreds of other patent nostrums |
have had their run. But their existence has |
generally been ephemeral, for possessing no
intrinsic virtues, they have been discarded |
as soon as the advertiser retired on his for
tune. But now we have a patent medicine
advertiser who has eclipsed all others
We allude to Mrs. Lydia F. Pink
ham, of Lynn, Massachusetts,. She
seems to be ubiquitous and is thrusting
her picture and her vegetable compound in
the face of the American reader. The news
paper fiend can't rid himself of the company /
of this irrepressible old woman. She comes
to him in the Joyous dream of sleeping, inno-
oence, and ghdes before him from "rosy morn
10 dewy eve" The presumption is that the
old lady never goes to bed, for she is never
81. deshG6iHe and is always prepared for the
Gaze of the public. For the sake of variety,
and to break the dull monotony, We suggest
that she appear for awhile in Dolly Var
den dress The public is weary of gazing at
the curls that surround her benevolent face,
and the clump OF hair on the apex of her
--ksch |
ming himself on cypress knee growing
obove the muddy waters of an Arkansas |
lake The admirers OF Mrs. Lydia E.
piDkbam are SO numerous that she cannot
furnish each with curl; but she can re-
1--we a long-suffering public by changing"
.bam for few weeks The ruffies
around her neck give her the appearance of
O,een Elizabeth, and can be endured; but f.!
the whole country insists that the sunfiower
how. which has so long reposed on her noble
bosom. be removed and renovated. Judging
from her features, Mother Pinkham has
great benevolence of heart, and it may be
that she is trying to worry the world with |
her picture so as TO divest death OF its ter
-ors This venerable matron cannot be sup
,,rassed. There would be hiatus in creation
II her curls, rufles, bows and chignOns were
aiken out Of the newspapers. The SYM
merry and perfection of our planetary system
,vonld be incomplete, and the elements of
,ateriaI nature would soon resolve them z
,sIves back into original chaos if the celes- 4
,;al name which has so long gladdened the | g
;.;oD Of an unoffending world should be blot d
"a from its accustomed place in the pub fl
Iic press. But nearly every reader i, it
lo II gazing at even the bland feature. h
~, y Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham, OF Lynn, Masaa-
ohasa lt and they yearn for rest as the hart
'nus ',S tor The water brooks. With the feeble
.stions Of breaking hearts and the ia,ns
ulsI,,G Of their iseting breath they are
aing for rest. In every part OF America ,'
oeg peg H. heard the blended voices OF million
can {. n ~ piteously imploring ye "ipseU