The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1882-11-25
Mark Twain's Barometer.
The Remarkable Man Servant Who
Passes on His Jokes.
[John Pages N. Y. Letter

lOohh L dSS ANs l. '@SitOA.l
Somebody was asking Hartford man how
it happened that Mark Twain wrote and pub
lished so little nowadays. "He writes as
much as ever" was the reply, "but his barom-
eter is out of order, and he does not know what
to publish. So he publishes nothing"
"What in the world has his barometer to do
with his literary activity"
"His barometer is man servant named ia
cob, who is remarkable for his deficient sense
of humor. Mark never can Judge of the merit
of his own performances. Years ago he fell
into the habit of testing everything that he
wrote by observing its effect upon Jacob. II
Jacob listened to the reading of the article,
jest or story with unmoved countenance, or
merely smiled in perfunctionary way, Mark
was satisfied. and sent the manuscript to the
printer. But II Jacob laughed outright, or
gave any other indication of genuine merri-
ment, the humorist concluded that the stuff
was hopeless and withheld it from publicatio
He regarded Jacob as infallible, and came to
lean upon his judgment.
About three years ago, it appears, Jacob
learned for the first time from some outsider
that his master was professional humorist.
He felt greatly honored that he should have
been chosen habi'ually to enjoy the first fresh
ness of every new production of genius. He
did not exactly understand why he should
have been thus chosen, but felt in vague
way that great humorist must need sympa-
thy and appreciation, and must naturally look
for Ii to the fellow being nearest at hand He
also felt that he had failed to be at all times
sufficiently appreciative. So Jacob kept his
discovery to himself as far as his master was
concerned, and resolved to be as appreciatiye
in the future as anybody could desire.
One day Mark called Jacob in and read him
sketch entitled The Cow and the Lightning
rod Man. In composing it Mark had fattered
himself that he had struck pretty fine streak.
To his amazement Jacob put his head back
and roared. With a half suppressed eiacula-
tion Mark dashed the manuscript into the
waste paper basket.
"Then Mark waited six weeks or two
months to collect his forces (for he is never
precipitate in anything he does), an achieved
romance called How Bounced the Baby
He summoned Jacob and watched his face
with obvious anxiety as he read the touching
narrative. Jacobs mirth vas painful to OBJ
serve. Mark tore up the story and then tore
his hair.
1.-TWO or three experiments of this sort, with
unVarying results, persuaded Mark Twain that
the malaria which he has been dreading ever
since it began to creep up the Connecticut val
ley, has reached him at last and destroyed his
powers of usefulness. He fell into settled
melancholy. His friend, the Rev. Mr.. Twich-
ell, tried in vain to cheer bin up. Perhaps
suggested Twichell, your man has really culti
waited sense of humor, so that you must no
longer udge by opposites." Mark shook his
head, and borrowed volume of Jonathan Ed
wards sermons from his friends library. He
copied out long passage from the discourse
on eternal punishment, and palmed it off on
Jacob as his own latest effort. Fer the first
time in history, the gloomy periods provoked
peals of laughter. Jacob held his sides, and
shook all over with glee. Then he suddenly
stopped, his countenance became blank,
turned pale, and he incontinently fed. He
had seen murder in his masters eyes.
That" said the Hartford man in conclusion,
sis why Mark THal does not write. He hung
his reputation as humorist upon his Darome-
ter, and his barometer no logger works."