davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
The Telegraph Explained.

A couple of colored gents were standing
about the Relay depot yesterday awaiting the
departure of their train. They observed
nearly everything about the locality, and
commented upon the same. The numerous
telegraph wires about the depot did not
escape their prying eyes, and one of them
expressed his wondera at the rapidity with
which message could be sent great dist,
ance.
"Why, that's easy enough to understand"
said the other.
"How!"
We'll suppose you had dog three thou.
sand miles long"
"Pshaw! You can't have a dog three
thousand miles long"
II know that; but we suppose that there
was one Don't you understand me?'
"Wel what Them
You take this dog three thousand miles
long, and place his fore feet in New York and
his hind feet in California"
"What them
You just tramp on this dogs tail in Cali
fornia and you bet he'll growl in New
York"
"Thats so" ssid the darkey, and he assum-
ed the expression of deep thought while the
other appeared quite satisfied with his apt
and original illustration of the telegraph
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
VARIETIES.

-"Thats what beats me" remarked boy
as he passed pile of shingles
"A Boston man calls his wife Crystal be-
cause she is always on the watch
Victor Hugo says: ITO reform man
you must begin with his grandmother"
Patrick, were you minor when you
landed in American asked the naturalization
officer. mo, your honor, | was a bricklay-
err
An Irishman who had been injured on
railroad was advised by his friends to sue
for damages. as it damages? Damages you
say I've had enough of them, sure It's re-
pairs am wanting"
-"What does lin memoriam,' mean, pa %
asked Billy. "Oh,' said pa, behind his news
paper, "its nothing. It's something you
write OH the tombstone of a man you are 60
ing to forget in week"
An insane Rochester girl gets out of bed
at midnight and goes to work saving wood
in the back yard. Her father deeply deplores
her insanity, but he always leaves the
woodpile handy to get at.
"A Brooklyn boy wrote composition on
the subject of the Quakers, whom he de-
scribed as sect who never quarreled, never
got into fight, never clawed each other.
and never jawed back. The production con-
tanned postscript in these words: PAS a
Quaker, but ma isn't"
"A clergyman, whose handwriting was
far from legiblc, had occasion in an essay for
publication, to make use of the phrase-"No
cross, no crown" The puzzle it was to the
brain of the compositor having it in charge
may be imagined better than described, as
also the surprise of the learned author, who
read this solution oft; "No cows no cream y
Jones gives another instance of the advan-
tages of advertising. He gave notice that he
had ten bushels of grapes, on the vines, to
dispose of. They were all off his hands by
the next morning without leaving him the
labor of picking them. The accommoda-
ting parties who got them were even consd-
crate enough to come for them quietly in the
night, so rs To- disturb him as little as posi-
Bile.
The company happened to be discussing
the subject of nocturnal assaults upon unof.
Tending passers by: "For my part" said DR..
", 81 was only attacked once in my life
had been practicing about year in town
of some Importance, and one night was set
upon by four masked men, beaten to a ielly,
sir, and left for dead" did you ever dis
cover the authors of the outrage, Doctor ~
"Ges, sir. Starving undertakes, Sustaining
| undertakcrs ?"
Roadside chat Old cpigrammatic con-
versation between a clergyman and traveller
G. I've lost my portmanteau.
T, | pity your grief
{. My sermons are in it.
T. pity the thief
A more modern and altogether more Ar
kansaw way ofholding n similar conversation
| would be-
G. I've lost.my demijohn
T. pity your grief
c. My whisky was in it,
7. Let's look for the thief.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24

The late DIR. G., of Ashtabula, used in the
early days TO take long rides through the
wilds of Ohio. One day he stopped at an old
fashioned tavern and called tor dinner.
Among the homespun daintes was glass
of whisky beside his plate, which he did not
trouble. After dinner, when paying his bill,
the landlord said
"Twenty-tive cents for whisky"
(Which | did not touch, and never do, ;"
said the Doctor.
swell, it was there, and you could have
had it, replied the landlord.
The doctor said no more, paid his bill and
left.
Calling again not long after it was noticed
that the Doctor, upon sitting down to dine,
placed his medicine case upon the table,
However, nothing was said at the time
When he went to pay his bill he brought
in 81 for medicine and advice.
"But have had no medicine" said mine
host
Every well, )" replied the Doctor, at was on
the table, and you could have had it and
also gave You good advice all the while was
at the table"
The nonplussed host squared accounts
Deti0d Free Press
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
How Shot are Made,

A shot tower is certainly curious place
to the unintiated visitor, and the process of
manufacturing the leaden missiles is most
interesting Ofcourse it is necessary that the
shot should fall from considerable eeva-
ton, and the height of many of the towers is
over two hundred feet. As pure lead will
not make perfect globules it is necessarily item.
pered." This temper" is prepared by the
addition of ingredients, being the main prop
erty. 1t is run into bars convenient for use,
and with pig-lead hoisted to the top of the
tower. Here are two small rooms one about
twelve feet below the other, and each contain
ing two huge kettles in which the pig iron
and temper" are melted. From one or
the other of the two kettles in both rooms
as each room has a separate shaft--streams
of shot are constantly flowing At the bot.
tom Of each kettle the molten stuff pours into
square pans perforated at one side These
perforations are large or small, according to
the size of shot desired, and separate the
mass into distinct, delicate cleaning streams,
which in turn, as they come in contact with
the atmosphere separate into perfect globules
of shot, which are cooled in their two hun
dred feet journey and the water into which
they fall below.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24

A few months ago farmer living on the
line of the Jackson and Fort Wayne road
visited the headquarters of the company to
urge the necessity ola new passenger station
at certain cross. roads on the line
"I'm afraid the patronage would not pay
the expenses" replied the official.
81 tell you heap of people would get on
and off at them corners" urged the old far
mer.
"Wcll, how many of your neighborhood
have passed over our road this year,"
"IIow many? Well there's the old man
Skinner for one. He has been to Jackson
twice that | know Of Then there's aunt
Deborah Smith, who goes down to Fort
Wayne every spring and fall Then we've
got several young men who alters go up TO
Lansing when there's circus"
ANY more?" asked the official as the
farmer scratched his head and wriggled
around.
Moo, don't know as | kin think of any
more just now, but if you'll go ahead and put
up station there, you can count on dozen
of us sitting around there all the time Just
to make things look like business"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
always teach the pupil principle before the

always teach the pupil principle before the
application oft
After he had finished this exercise Mr..
Worthington, with the permission of the EX-
aminer. made few remarks on teaching per-
centage.
Next subject for discussion was "What i'm.
provement can be made in the time, manner
and scope of our general examinations in the
Schools" which was discussed by Misses Mat.
tie f. Offley, and Mary Spalding and Mr.. F
p. Smith, the latter thinking that it would be
q good idea to continue the examination
through the whole week.
Miss KeZia j. Evans thought that the eX-
aminations embraced more ground than the
children went over at the last examination
Mr.. Chas w. Burkins said that the time
of the examinations had suited him exactly
Thought that one improvement could be
made in arithmetic, namely, that higher
standard be fixed in that than in the other
studies, and that any pupil who did not reach
the required standard could not be promoted
Miss Mary F. Sherwood advocated the use
of Reed & Kellogg's Grammer in all the
grades.
Miss Sallic Z. st. Clair said that some
pupils could not be present on the day of ex.
animation, and consequently lost the benefit
oft, and could not be promoted.
Miss Mary Martin Inform the parents
and try to get them there on that day"
The question was further discussed by
Messrs. Frank Davis, j. Edward Harry and
Webster McClung, who thought that the
higher grades should be examined at the first
of the week.
MIR. J. Egbert Smith thought that uniform
set of questions should be prepared by the
Examiner for the seventh, eight and ninth
grades.
Mr. Mitchell, at the close ofthe discussion
announced that the trustees had the power
to close any school where smallpox existed
A vote of thanks was then rendered to the
trustees of the church and to the examiner.
Examiner Mitchell accepted the thanks and
after the Parting Hymn" was sung by the
choir, pronounced the Institute adjourned
Sinc dc J. EDWARD HARRY
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
FRIDAY
MORNING SESSION,

Institute was called to order, Mr.. Mitchell
in the chair.
After music, Mr. Jno. ID. Worthington gave
Glass Exercise in Arithmetic Division of
Decimals. He would not teach pupils at
first, any other way to divide common frac-
tions but by reducing them to common de-
nominator and dividing the numerator of the
dividend by that Of the diyisor He would
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
pnrtiral.
For the EgiS and intelligence
CUSTER'S LAST CHARGE.

FOF me EgtS ana fhteHt9t"Ctf
CUSTERS LAST CHARGE.
On to the charge gallant Custer;
Onward he road to the bluff.
Tho who surrounded our hero
Have lain him cold in dust.
Thy blood on the pole of tho Indian,
Every drop shall call for rcvenge
And the bugle of thy cavalry comrades
Shall again resound through the glen.
If they should be successful
Rain in the Face shall die,
A warning to braves in the future,
When they gaze on the place where you lie.
On the banks of the Rosebud river
In silence the soldiers dream,
The moon sends its rays down to deepen
The silvery light of the stream.
On the plains of distant mountains
The warriors rest in sleep,
The Rosebud's silent river
Is scarcely more calm and deep.
Could the rivers and rocks of Montana
Speak to the world at large,
Bugles would echo and re-ccho
Clusters brave cavalry charge.
Hark ! there is a distant sound,
Where Hudson's mighty river winds
Its way past Kosciuszko's dell.
Far from Montanas distant plains
Your body has been borne
Where bugle blasts will wake the hills
On many a summers morn.
The youthful sons of old West Point
Will guard you with great care:
No Indians foot shall ever break
The rest you taking there.
MONIMIA.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24

"A permanent restoration of exhausted
and worn-out functions follows the use of
Browns Iron Bitters
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
The Cold Bath and its Dangers.

The great mistake that is usually commit
ted in regard to it is the error of never raising
the temperature of the water from that ofthe
the surrounding air. In very cold weather
the bath, even when exposed over night in
the bedroom, will often be lower than forty
five degrees and where water is brought
straight from the main or well itmay be even
ten or fifteen degrees lower Only the strong
est constitutions can derive benefit from the
shock produced by,hppication ola liquid bath
seventy degrees colder than the body at its
surface, and il is very questionable if it ever
is attended with permanently good results.
Reaction may be afterwards complete but
there is always the risk ofsudden danger from
the condition of the body being temporarily
such as to prevent immediate reaction. In
such cases very serious accidents are possible,
A temperature of from forty 10 fifty degrees
is quite cold enough for any person to submit
himselfto; this allows for differenceof be-
tween forty and fifty degrees in the heat of the
body and that ofthe bath--amply sufficient to
produce all the benefits desirable from it-and
it would be well for all il these extremes were
never exceeded.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
R, MD, FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER "a, 1882

talk, the teachers were ready to listen, no
matter what the subject might be.
Music and the Institute adjourned to meet
at $50 A, VI Thursday, Nov. 1G.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
The Egis and Intelligencer
IL PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAYB BY
f. w B A K H r.
a Year, in Advance.

TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS Square,
insertions or less $780, Each subsequent insertion,
25 cents. Longer advertisements in the same pro-
portion. Aspace equal to six lines makes square.
Fgure-work double price.
Obituaries and Personal Communications will
be inserted at ten cents per line.
EB- Yearly advertisements at special rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
JUST THINK OF 1T !!


Dress Goods, to Ct Cents. Beautiful Dress
Goods 10 to 124 Cents. Double width Black
Cashmere as low rs 90 Cents. Handsome
Black Silks, so Cents and upwards. Chcviot
Shifting Cents. 1914 White Blankets $3.50
and upwards. Remnants of Prints, many of
them beautiful and all desirable at only 4
Gents. Good Prints mot remnants) 5 Cents.
Bleachcd and Brown Muslin, 5 Cents and
upwards. For your Husbands and Sons, we
have Cassimeres and Kerseys, % Cents and
upwards. A full line of Black Cloth and
Doeskins.
Our stock of Goods for Mems Clothing
will be sure to please your taste. We have
lots of other goods equally low. Remember
we guarantee satisfaction or will refund your
money.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
LADIES WHO ARE PRUDENT
DRY GOODS

on our counters and shelves. Remember
that we are Always Ahead in Low Prices,
and Prices are now so low that it requires
little expense for lady to dress well and
tastefully.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24
THE BARKER BALTIMORE ORGAN.

THE BARKER BALTIMORE ORGANS
are especially constructed to withstand variations
of temperature.
They have been exposed to the open air for
three to six months, in all kinds of weather, and
have, on every occasion, been in perfect order
when returned.
They have been sold extensively, and such sat
isfactOry reports are continually being received,
and the orders for these Organs increase rapid
ly that there is no egotism in saying that the in
ventors unweared endeavors to overcome this
orally isso susceptible, has been most completely
successful
1t is about five years since the Damp proof was
perfected. Ii is no wish of the manufacturers of
this beautiful organ to cxpatiate on the merits of
the Barker Baltimore Organ, but firm
and settled conviction based upon absolute proof,
that all persons who desire an organ for Church,
Chapel or Sunday School, or in fact. any other
use are advised to give the Barker Baltimore
Instrument the preference.
These Organs are warranted for six years.
Also the renowned
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24

"A true friend to the weak and GONZALES.
cent is Browns Iron Bitters.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1882-11-24

-"How's business with you, Brown
asked his friend Pingrey.9
mot very lively" said Brown.
But you have made something, SUPPOSE
ooh, yes; have made an assignment"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-21
THE Bitter, BIT.

An Town man made an arrangement with
balloonist to take up stuffed figure load
ed with sand and at the distance of mile
throw it out. This was done, and while
the crowd were shouting and wild with ex-
element, he enjoyed the Joke, but conclud-
ed go a-fshing for day or two until the
excitement ON discovering his trick should
die out He had not time to get away from
his house, however, before some of his
friends came to him to inform him that the
dummy had fallen on q farmer and driven
his head into his boots; that the eronani
had turned States evidence and that mob
was getting ready to hang the author of the
practical joke. Ho begged the boys to
stand by him, handed over $50for legal ex-
penses, and was hidden in neighbours
house. They kept him there for ten days
he meanwhile paying the "exp enses" OF
the crowd. Finally, when they came around
one night full of beer which his money had
paid for and wanted to hide him in a hollow
oak tree three miles OF, he saw through the
whole business. The practical joker had
mad joke played on him, and the laugh
was SO badly against him that he had to
leave the town.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-21
THE MANArEE.
The Appearance and Habits of the Water
Cow Of New Guinen.

The canoe had stopped to let us come up,
for some purpose or other, and was just
drawing ahead again, when one of the men
who had been keeping his eyes fixed on a
spot higher up the creek, and had been
shouted at by George for his supposed lazi-
ness, suddenly held up his paddle and called
out COW, COW y and, looking at the place
pointed out, we saw one of these strange
creatures under the bank, about 80 yards
aheed. We could only see its head and
shoulders, to a little above the middle of the
BODY, and 1t appeared to be feeding on the
moco.moco grass which fringed the sides of
the creek. W. prepared himself for shot
with his rifle, although the men were evil
IDENTIFY unwilling to have the COW inter
Tered with, and called out to him, No,
nlassa, leave ne TO we!" | strongly sts-
pected at the time that their desire to have
1t lett for them to take after their own fash
ION was more prompted by their superstition
than the nope OF securing them
selves and ] am still inclined to boz
heVe was right, as we had no harpoons
with us, which are tho usual means used to
XIII the manatee. BE that as 1t may, W.
nrea, ana probably hit it. as the manatee
immediately sank, but SO quietly as TO show
ne was more startled than badly hurt. The
SKIN oil the BACK is OF great thickness, and
the Dali must have glanced OFF, which was
the more likely as the rifle carried a very
small bail, beng not much larger than an
ordinary rooR riie' Inc manatee is univer-
sai'y called water COW or COW " IN the Can
le ana other places IN the colony where 1t is
found but the Indians call 1t Mintje MAN.
ma or Mother OF the Waters, and under this
name worship 1t 1t also goes by other
Names as iemanun, COW whale, and coe-
moor MY authority Tor these last three
names is the same gentleman TO whom re-
fefrea IN former paper, myself having
Always called II by the FORMER names. 1t is
very common IN the CAME and is larger than
those round IN other parts OF Guiana. l
nave frequently seen 1t IN the markets ex-
posed Tor sale NJ u quarter dollar pound,
ana the inhaoitants are informed OF COW y
beng e' the butchers stalls by u bell rung at
the market gates l nave never tasted the
flesh myself, but l have heard from those
VINO nave that 1t Is composed oil two differ
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-21
AN EARLY VENTURE.

few days ago, says the Courier Journal,
rather strange marriage took place at Es-
quire Stephens office, ON Jefferson street,
between Francis M. Disher and Emily d.
Hunter, the bride being only fourteen years
old and the groom twenty-eight. Both
parties are residents of this city, and the
girls parents were perfectly willing that the
marriage should take place so much SO, in
fact, that the girls mother urged it and ac-
companied her little daughter to the County
Clerks office and procured the license.
When the couple entered the Magistrates
Office, accompanied by the brides mother,
and stated their Wishes considerable aston
ishment was evinced by those present. The
girl had very pretty, childlike face, and
was rather better developed than girls of her
age usually are, but was hardly as tall as the
usual run of girls. She seemed perfectly
self-possessed and cool and while her moth
or and intended husband were talking to the
Magistrate, she got into high chair and
dangled her feet backward and forward with
perfect saaatSoid, and seemed impatient for
the marriage to take place. So small was
she that her feet did not touch the floor
when sitting in the chair, The Squire at
first hesitated, but when the license was
shown him he had nothing further to say
and proceeded to marry them. The girl re-
sponded to the questions asked her in asweet,
girlish voice, and, when the ceremony was
over, hurried out with her newly made hus-
band.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1882-06-21
LAW IN ENGLAND,
Some Cases In Which the PunisIim O.. Seems
Rather Curious.

A British M. p, Mr.. Macfarlane, has
been comparing some of the sentences re-
Gently inflicted upon offenders of various
grades and he has reached the conclusion
that, in the eyes of British law, it is much
lighter offense to kick woman to death
than to pick her pocket. A man who kicked
his wife to death was sentenced last May
to six weeks hard labor, and in the follow
pocket of nine shillings was sentenced to
penal servitude for ten years. Nor are these
exceptional cases. The penalty ofknocking
down wife and kicking her savagely in the
face was three months hard labor for
knocking down and kicking woman, a fine
of four-pounds; for trying TO kill wife
with razor, being the second offense,
twelve months Against these are set such
sentences as for stealing Goals to the value
of two shillings, eight months hard labor;
for stealing watch, Ave years penal servi-
tude. II would be interesting to inquire
how much of this scandalous leniency to
brutes is due to the ancient tradition that
makes mans wife his slave But it
does not appear to be necessary that the
woman attacked should be the mans wife
in order to give him practical immunity. In
a case of violent assault upon woman in
the street. the ruffian was fined forty shil-
lings, and in another case where three men
ill-treated and killed a woman they were i'm
prisoned one for sixteen months, and the
others for six-months each, while man
who stole a knife and some keys got five
years. All this seems to show that the equal
protection of English law is not meant to
extend to women.