The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1882-10-19
SHORT BITS.

bnOhi BlIHs
Bang.up-The trouble in Egypt.
Spragde has not yetcut the canal.
The hay fever is sneezy thing to
catch.
The modern pie-rate- Ten cents
piece.
Artificial finger manufacturers have
their hands full.
Old iron is an add junk to the ragmans
business.
The melon-gr growers favorite song,
"The watch on the rind."
Love makes time pass away, and time
makes love pass away.
Politics, theatricals and cable news
will be lively this autumn.
Political wire-pullers should be care
full when the air is full of electricity.
Heard at came meeting-"Dids
pray tonight? Where's the money!"
An Atlanta dog weighs but fifteen
ounces. He is not likely to reach
pound.
Out in Colorado they call Judge Kelly,
of congregressional fame "The Iron
Duke"
Too much "stone fence" will make a
man wall-eyed.-T New York Commercial
advertiser.
Seth Spicer thinks that a fy-blister
between the shoulders is very serious
drawback.
The only breakfast that a seaside
swell gets is when it takes its roll in the
surf.
The ordinary Chicago man would die
Of q broken heart if he could not swindle
somebody.
An Indianola farmer has six acres of
onions. His manageable daughters
have no beaux.
When photographers hold debate the
decision is invariably rendered in favor
of the negative.
son the WHOLE" says Mount Desert
aesthetic, "this has been q lucid-skied,
radiant August"
The hero of Tippecanoe is to be hon.
ored with an equestrian statue in Circle
Park, indianapolis.
When politicians get too ripe they
are shaken by their constituents New
York Commercial Advertiser.
The New Haven Register talks about
"good- natured witticisms." Now where
is the wit in being ill-humored?
Joseph Sailor has just retired from the
Philadelphia Ledger as its financial edi-
tor, after service of forty-two years.
Fishing for bass is now the proper
phrase to use when describing the con-
duct of soprano who firts with the
choir leader Syracuse Times.
Ithaca, n. Y, makes IA 900 buttons
every day save Sundays, but Phlladel-
phia makes 100000 artificial teeth in
year, and so takes the cake.
An observing philosopher remarks:
"The poorest churches keep lots of PEG
pie from worse places" But there is
just as much truth in the reverse of the
statement.
Whenever George Peck, of the Mil
waukee Sun, sees girl kissing her pet
dog, he thinks of the dreadful places it
has been during the day, and It makes
haps has not occurred to the woman who
kisses her dog, but it is certainly worthy
of her careful consideration.
At church festival In New York the
fried oysters we're spoiled and condemned
as unfit for food. The pious and benev-
olent manager by q formal vote sent
them to the Old Ladies' Home without
mentioning the source from which they
came. Thus another transformations act
of charity is registered above.
She said she wanted a ticket to
Wyandotte and return, and the pale,
gentlemanly agent, with the black
mustache, asked, as he took up the paste
boards, "Single?" ut amt any of your
business as I know" she responded
tartly. II might have been married
dozen of times if I'd felt like providin'
for some poor, shiftless wreck Of man."
He doesn't ask ladies if they want single