The Osceola times., 1882-06-03
defense. the Courier Journal tells this

Captain Henry's misadventure recalls
a story which went the rounds twenty
five or thirty years ago, and is old eneugh
TO be new. 1t illustrates the embarrass-
ment which glass too much sometimes
occasions the best of men. There lived
in Georgia. SAYS Colonel Bradbury, whom
Burton credits with the narrative, a CIR
cult Judge by the name of Brown, man
Of ability, of infexible integrity and be-
loved and respected by all the legal pro
f.ssion. But he had one fault. His So
cial qualities would lead him, despite ms
Judgment, into occasional excesses. In
travelling the circuit it was his habit, the
night before opening court, to get com,
fortably corned." If hecouldn' I succeed
while operating upon his own hook, the
members of the bar would generally turn
in and help him.
II was in the spring of the year; taking
his wife in the old fashioned carry y-all,
the Judge journeyed some forty miles and
reached a village where court was to be
opened the next day. He took quarters
with relation of his better half, by whom
the presence of an official dignitary was
considered a high honor. After supper
he strolled over to the only tavern III
the town, where he found many old
friends, collected to the place, like him
self, on important professional business,
and who were properly glad to meet him.
Gentlemen said the Judge, It's
quite a long time since we have enjoyed
a glass together-let us take drink all
round. OF course, Sterritt, addressing
the landlord, you have better liquor than
YOU had the last time We were here; the
stuff YOU had then was not fit to give a
deg!" -,
Sterritt, who had charge of the house,
pretended that everything was right, and
so they went TO work. 1t is unnecessary
to enlarge upon drinking bout i'll
country tavern-it will quite answer our
purpose to state that somewhere in the
region of midnight the Judge wended his
very devious way toward his temporary
home. About the time he was leaving,
however, some young barrlsters, fond OF
practical" and not much afraid OF the
bench, transferred all the silver spoons
of Sterritt to the indee's coat pocket.
1t was So'clock Monday morning when
the Judge arose. Having INDUCED in the
process of abluton and abstersion, and
partaken of cheerful and refreshing
breakfast, he went to his room to pre-
pare himself for the duties of the day.
"Well, Polly" said he to his wife, Il
feel much better than / expected to feel
after that frolic of last night"
"Ah Judge" said she reproachfully,
"you are getting too old-you ought to
leave off that business
"Ah, Polly, what's the use of talking?"
IL was at this precise moment that the
Judge, having put on his overcoat, was
proceeding, according to his custom, to
give his wife parting kiss, that he hap
pened, in thrusting his hand into his
pocket. to lay hold of Sterritt's spoons
lie ierked them out. With an express.
ion of horror he exclaimed;
my God, Polly"
What on earth's the matter, judge|
Gust look at these spoons"
"Dear me, where dye get them ?"
"Get them Don't you see the initial
on them ?' extending them toward her
81 stole them !"
"Stole them, Judge?
Eyes, stole them!'
"My dear husband, it can't be possible !
From whom
From Sterritt, over there; his name
is on them"
Good heavens How could it hap.
pen ?"
II know very well, Polly. was very
drunk when came home, wasn't ?"
"Why, Judge, you know your old habit
when you get among those lawyers"
"But was very drunk ?"
Yes, you wa'.'
"Was l remarkably drunk when l got
home, Mrs Browu?'
"Yes, Judge, drunk as fool, and forty
times as stupid"
~ thought so,' said the Judge, drop.
ping into chair in extreme dcspon-
dency. II knew it would come to that
at last. | have always tn ought that
something bad would happen to me
that ] should do something very wrong
kill somebody in moment of pas
sion, perhaps-but | never imagined
that could be mean enough to be gull
ty of deliberate larceny :"
But there may he some mistake,
judge -,
mo mistake, Polly. know very well
how il all came about. That fellow,
Sterritt, keeps the meaDest sort of liquor,
and always dii-liquor, mean enough to
make man do any sort of mean thing;
| have always said it was mean enodgh
to make man steal. but now | have 3
practical illustration of the fact |" and
the poor old man burst into tears.
Don't be a child" said his wife, wip-
ing away the tears "go ike man over
to Sterritt tell him it was n little bit OF
a frolic. Pass it off as joke-go and
open court, and nobody will ever think
of it again"
A little OF the soothing system oper-
ated upon the judge, as such things
usually do his extreme modification
was finally subdued, and over to Ster-
nitts he went with tolerable face. or
course. he had but little difficulty in
settling with him-for aside from the
fat that the judges integrity was un-
questionable, Sterritt had an inkling
of the Joke that had been played. The
Judge took his seat in court; but 1t was
observed that he was subdued and
melancholy, and that his mind frequent
ly wandered from the business before
him. There was lack ofthe sense and
intelligence that usually characterized
his proceedings,
Several days passed and the business
of the court was drawing to close, when
one morning a tough citizen was ar
ragned on charge of stealing. After the
clerk had read the indictment to him, he
put the question:
Guilty or not guilty."
Guilty. but drunk" answered The
prisoner. =,
"Whats that plea ?' exclaimed the
Judge, who was halfdozing on the bench.
"He pleads guilty, but says he was