Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-07-19
The Cow and the Goats.

Philadelphia has q feud which has
lasted five years, all about COW and q
few goats. The voracity of pair of
goats owned and MIXED by family
named Brophy and the cottonivorous
habits of n COW belonging to their neigh
bors, the Marshalls, has occasioned all
the trouble. One night, in 1877, Mr..
Marshall came home and found the fas-
tidious goats of his neighbor grazing
with zest and apparent delight upon
certain garments of the feminine
branches of his family left bleaching on
the grass. Mr.. Marshall, enraged that
they should not have make the feast be-
fore putting him to the expense of soap
for washing, procured gun, and, to
use his own words, "blowed the horns
ofione of EN-" and threw the corpse into
his neighbours yard. As result of
their next meeting, Marshall was laid
up three days for repairs and Brophy
was bound over to keep the peace, but
not being enjoined therefrom, bought
new goat to replace the one he had
lost. His new acquisition developed
an extraordinary love for the mellow
literature which the Quaker press
furnished daily to Mr.. Marshall.
The gun was brought into use,
and the literary goat next day appeared
before his eXasperated owner with a
half-digested newspaper in his stomach
and load of small shot in his back.
This was followed promptly by Mar
shalls arrest, and everything ran along
smoothly until October, 1878, when
Brophy's goats, which had thrived and
increased until they numbered five,
were one morning found locked in the
icy arms of death, so to speak, so
suddenly that their owner was con-
vinced that his old enemy had used
poison to gain revenge at one fell
swoop. A careful analysis of the
stomach of one of his rapacious flock
revealed the presence of an old boot
and the remains of felt hat which, as
Marshall had been known to wear both
articles, was Us much proof rs Brophy
wanted that his neighbor was guilty.
The court before whom Marshall was
tried could not be made to see his con-
nection with the dead pets, and Mar
shall had Brophy arrested for malicious
prosecution. Brophy restocked his
front yard with goats, and with the oc-
casional violent death of goat and
stoning of Marshall's windows the years
glided peaccably by until 1881, for the
suit for damages dragging through the
court served as safety-valve. Then
Marshall bought himself a COW which
had an Unsuitable appetite for clothing.
Meeting three. year-old Brophy on the
street she proceeded to make meal of
his dress, and when Mrs. Brophy, at
tracted by the screams of her darling,
rushed to the rescue, the omnivorous
COW ambled off in gentle bovine trot,
with Master Brophy dangling from her
mouth. The dress finally gave way and
the child was picked up unhurt. As q
precaution against the execution of Bro
PHYS threats Marshall locked his COW
up in back yard to chew her reflective
cud of grass, cloth and buttons. Dur
ing the winter the two neighbors had
two personal encounters, and Brophy is
now under bonds to keep his fists out of
MarshalPs face, and suit is now pend
ing for $4,000 for false Imprisonment,
brought by Brophy, who was charged
with scalding Marshalrs hungry cow.
Brophy has been arrested seven times
on the complaint of Marshall, who in
his turn has felt the tap of the law upon
his shoulder on eight different occasions
where Brophy has melted legal action.
Such are the amenities between neigh
bors in the City of Brothcrly Love-
Philddeiphid Press.