Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-10-27
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE,

Bibles in October and November than during
all the other months Of the year Fall leaves
are gathered and pressed n October and No.
vember.
The New York Commcrcial Adrerttser
says man seeks after the unatanablc when
he searches for the pocket in a woman's
dress.
A chicken with six legs and four wings
has been raised in Wisconsin. Great scheme
for boarding house.
Evangelist Barnes is said TO be fond of cpl.
grams as well as of startling assertions He
says; Things are not what they seem. |
have seen fifteen owls all in row at the ZOO
and they looked as wise as fifteen Judges on
the supreme bench; but there wasn't an
ounce of brains in the whole lot"
y New York girl was found collecting eli
gar stumps the other day. She had a thou
Sand in basket, which she sold to the man
facturers of cigarettes, which naturally sug-
gcsls the query, why are cigarette makers
like political speakers the obvious answer
to which is, because they both take the
stump.
a Canadian rural editor is pleased with the
decision that husband can not be held liable
for the debts incurred by his wife, because
as he says, 1--WE are a husband ourselves"
1t is currently reportcdt that digita,ed stock
ngs, calculated to relieve soft corns, are to
take the place of the pudding bags now in
vogue also, that dsmated stockings are to
be all the 60 this season. Concerning the
latter announcement shrewd observer has
said "Thsseems to be making virtue OF
necessity who send washing out sell
dom have stockings which are not mis-.
mated
a church ina country village recently cir
culatcd a paper among its congregation ask
ing for contributions for the purpose Of
paying the organist and boy to blow the
same"
Professor Parkhursl says a good view of
the comet may be had from the roof of amor
binary three-story house This is hard on
the man who lives in two-story house.
A Western paper has supplied long fclt
want by giving to the public an obituary nc
tice that bears upon its face the stamp of
honesty. 1t says: "He gained his riches
by leaning money and handling notes and
mortgages, and Statewide name for his
litigation in various counties and in the Su-
prenc Courts, was graspng and heartless in
his transactions, became divorced from his
wife and died without "A frinnt -
The average agricultural fair is n horse
race with the exception Of the address on
farming that is made by the lawyer who gets
his work IN as a political canddate-N u.
Picaylne.
Some philosopher has observed that To
be good convetsatiOnalis, one must needs
be II good listener" This is especially true
II the conversation is TO be by telephone.
LoCeN citizen.
why do dogs have leas :" young nat
urall,t asks us. Dear boy, that's inst what
the dogs are anxious to ow.-BoSton Post.
1t is said that trained dresses for evening
wear are coming back into favor. 1t is very
evident that If they were not trained it would
be very hard for the wearers to manage them.
-Lo'reN citizen.
Wouldn't 1t be joke on Miss Emily Faith
full VINO has come over from England to
lecture Americans on their extravaganza, il
she met with an empty hail. with cards upon
the seats stating "Wc could rot afford To
come :'-Bost0n Gl0be.
\ noted Democrat of this city, going home
rather late from little oaucu.ing party,
very naturally mistook the comet for fire
works in honor of the Ohio election LoneN
Citizen.
''Do you subscribe to all the articles of the
4 thnp nStn ,nl.. eI.l l..
mo, don't | can't afford it. There's a
collection next week for the convention fund
and | can't do any more was her reply
Philadelphia Bulletin.
An Irishman tredt to shoot little chipping
bird with an old Queen Anne musket. He
fired. The bird with chrrup or two, flew
away unconcerned in the foreground, and
Pat was swiftly and noselessly laid on his
spine in the background. Picking himself
up, and shaking his fist at the bird, he ex-
claimed, BE jabers, We wouldn't chirrup-
ed if ye'd been at this ind of the gun -
EagliM Naga=ine.
Late in life George Washington rode in his
own carriage but in his earlier years he took
hack at the cherry tree Worcester Ga
'ette. The man who had the temerity to
spring this relic of antiquity upon the public
forgot to mention how Georges father took
a chaise after the young man and was about
ready TO sleigh him, when George attempted
to saddle the blame on some one else as the
cutter.-Larrence american.
A boy in an Ohio town shot and killed
girl who was taking water from his fathers
well. Extract from report of the affair in
a Cincinnati paper The whole of the
girls head was blown away. The boy
proudly marched in and told his mother.
The victim lived three hours and died"
The comet has head "a, 600 miles long.
1t ought to know pretty well what it is do
ing -L0ireH Courier.
A Cincinnati insurance agent was shot at
three times the other day without being hit.
1t is business in which all risks generally
pan out probably. Detroit Free Press
Herbert Spencer is unable to sleep since
his arrival in this country Some one
should inform him that lie can purchase the
London PuHch weekly in any OF our leading
cities.
Astronomers continue to assert tina, there
is something the matter with the comets
head. Men who are up all night as the COM
ct is, will know what 1t means. -Ne0 Or
teams Picdyune.
Said miserable little Cincinnati boy who
had just received n scoldlng from his father.
MA, wish I'd never been born" why,
Charley" "Well, | think I'd been better
boy, '-Cincinnda SATURDAY Night.
Not so bad for an "chappie," First old
we've time for cigarette.
old chappie' Second old chappie-"Well,
old chappic, considering thirty years are sup
posed to eapse between this las, act and the
next, think we have ."-London Punch.
We read frequently of some person. whose
hair has turned white in a single night
through nret or fear but Tho white ha,ra3