St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1882-04-01
AN ECCENTRIC OLD BACHELOR.
His Ideas of Single Blessedness Obiit-
Grated.

IThe following production was picked up and
handed us for publication j
God in His wisdom created the
earth, and being advise, consequently
saw proper to place man as the lnhabi-
tant of this most beautiful sphere,-with
woman as his superior, to love, cherish
and adore. Cold and callous must be
the man who does not prize the meek
and gentle spirit of a contiding woman.
Her lips may not be sculptured in the
perfect line of beauty; her eyes may
not roll in dazzling splendor, but it the
native smile be ever ready to welcome,
and the glance fraught with clinging de-
votion forshrinking sensibility, she must
be priced far above gold and rubies.
Woman was created for man, yes, alone
for man He has created her, but to Sc
lect from the many millions, one upon
affections, despite the arguments and
eulogies of our finest authors, states
men and orators upon the merits, puri-
ty and lovlineSs Of woman, there still
remains in our midst some whose hearts
are as hard as adamant, and who pre-
fer darkness, seclusiOn and seltishness.
| say selfishness, for man has that
which beats in his bosOm-a noble heart;
one that lovely woman alone should be
the preserver Of, and such as resist the
temptations of an angelic woman, will
undoubtedly fade away into premature
decay and old age, becoming worn and
haggard from loneliness and frights.
Instead Of being protectors, they are
ever on the alert and seeking protec-
ton.
During life, brief as it has been, I
had an example laid before me Of an
old (bachelor) friend who spent his
younger days playing little games of
elance.F tR DIR: and SO onn,-saying to
''Who'll have you ?" Seeing there was
no hope of persuading a young and
lovely woman to tie herself for life to
desperate, fretful old "bach.," he re-
tired from the scene of action to recu-
perate in the country with brother-in-
law, a most eminent physician of the par
ish in which he lived. Feeling, of course
like some lone bird without a mate, he
was necessarily compelled to find some
means of diverting his mind. At first
he tried to induce his companions to
believe that he was an invalid suffering
from Phthesis Pulmonalis,-had morn
ing and nightly coughing spells, until,
finally, one of the blood vessels leading
into the lungs became ruptured from
excessive straining, and by the hardest,
little blood came up with the sputa
This settled the matter. He went to
bed, closed the room, and Just such
raise at any one who dared open door
or window to prevent actual suffoca-
ton. Now, what were we to do in such
a dilema. To stand an examination he
would not, fearing the physician would
pronounce his case to be in reality
what he had reasoned himself into be-
lieving he was suffering from. To talk
the matter over would do. The ausculta-
ton he could not stand. Well we got
tired of all these imaginative ideas and
| went to work with womans deter
mination to get him out of that bed and
room. After a long and weary trial, |
succeeded, and to divert his mind struck
upon plan. Knowing that both sexes
after the age of thirty five have a ma
turdl leaning toward dogs and cats, I
directed his attention to very pretty
little animal Of the species above. My
idea took like hot cakes, and in course Of
a few weeks, consumption was forgot
ten, and the cat was an idol. It was
his companion day and night. The
little animal not being accustomed to
featherbeds and in the arms Of old
bachelors, became so attached to him
that by way of gratitude concluded to
get up a serenade. So, at the dead
hour of night, as the stars their vigils
kept, and the moon sllOne in full splen-
dor DER the old bach as be lay wrapped
in the arms of Morpheus slumbering
as an infant on it's mothers breat, his
mate (Manou) stole from his arms, COL
lected his choir of fellow cats and at
tempted the serenade. Said bach. oc-
cupied the adjoining room to his broth
in-law. When the first yell was given
the old bach. reused from his dreams,
scratched his head, his curls fiuttering
in the breeze: Fear prompted him at
once to provide some kind of weapon.
There being no loaded revolver, sword
or gun near, the unfortunate was COM
PEELED to resort to throwing old shoes,
boots, boot Jacks, brushes, combs,
bowls, pillows and bed clothes, until
the bed was completely stripped and
every movable object thrown promis-
cuously around. He called for help,
but in vain they were on the bed, in
the windows, on the press, under it
in fact, everywhere. ooh, my good
ness! have no friends, now, that will
come to my rescue in this my hour of
trouble? help! help! help!!! Darn
it, DIR. are you asleepg Oh, if Jim was
only here for friend in need is a
friend indeed. DR.. how can you snore
and all this row going on !? Oh Lord,
Lord, had / a wife, this would never
have happened. III get married-an
old maid, widow, 81 -widow-any one;
this will never do. On the following
morning he was found PROSTATE in the
corner, his eyes sunk and pallor DER
spread his face. By the assistance of
the physician, myself and other kind
friends he was restored to conscious
ness. Mustard plasters, warm teas and
well-known punches were administered.
after which he convalesced so fast that