The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1882-12-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

The time wasted by men in feeling
in the wrong pocket would make the
next generation rich if they had it.
-Affektashun allwuss shows a mans
weak points, for what MN alexis to
have he haz generally got the least of.
Josh Billings.
-Talleyrand once said: ssWhat have
been taught 1 have forgotten; what j
know have guessed" In the last re-
spect he was sewing society all by
himself.-BoSton Post.
A great many people in this COM
munity would like to find out ust how
much monev it would take to spoil
them. We do not speak for ourselves,
but for our poor relations.-N. Y. Her.
aid.
"A traveller stopping at a village inn
during a thunderstorm, said to a by
stander: "Why, you have very heavy
thunder here" YES" replied the
man. 1--WE do. considering the number oi
inhabitants"
The Philadelphia Nei0s argues that
if man had the strength of an insect
in proportion to his size he could Jump
higher than a mountain. 1t is quite pos
sible, as mountains are not very high
jumpers.-M o. Picayune.
"A famous North Carolina clergy
man, while preaching few Sundays
ago from the text, "He giveth His be-
loved Sleep" stopped in the middle of
the discourse, gazed upon his slumber-
ing congregation, and said: Brethren.
it is hard to realize the unbounded love
which the Lord appears to have for q
large portion of my auditory"
Scene in Court: "Now, Mr.. Blank,
you say that on that day, at noon, you
saw a woman ride past your house at a
furious pace, and you have given US a
detailed description of her costume.
Please tell us what was the color of the
house." s'l do not remember" ''Well,
was the woman white or black?' 81
did not notice; she went so fast that
| only had time to see how sha was
dressed. Chicago Tribune.
-" What have you that's good?"
said hungry traveller, as he seated
himself at table d. hote at Salt Lake
CITY Lotel "Or' said the waiter,
"we've roast beef, roast mutton, roa +
pork and broiled curlews. What's q
curlew?" said the traveller. "Why, a
bird; something like snipe" "Could
1t fiyP" .YesH' did it have wingsP"
"Ye r' Then don't want any cur
lew. Anything that had wings and could
fly and didn't leave this country dom t
want for my dinner"
The board of army officers appoint
| cd to select magazine gun have re-
ported in favor of three distinct types
of guns. Why a magazine should want
a gun is not stated, but we suspect that
the editors of late have been so terribly
b red by poets calling in person with
their productions. that a club and a
cross dog will no longer go right to the
spot. When each maya line is supplied
with an improved gun, there is going
to be a decrease in the number OF
"darned literary fellows " in this coup-
/ try.-NoTriSt0tO Herald.
-"Ah, how are you this morning?'
| said fifth avenue man to his friend
from Jersey. Pretty well. pretty
WELL" he replied; "but my wife is
suffering from severe cold" he con-
tinued, as his face beamed with delight.
Now, that too bad" exclaimed the
New Yorker; e but why do you seem so
happy over itP' Taking his friend by
the arm, the Jerseyman replied, as
tears of joy rolled down his apple-jack-
flushed face: "Happyi Don't mention
it, Why. she hasn't been able to speak
above whisper for six days.-M J.
Commercial Advertiser.