The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1882-01-25

0ueath tee OF nifty gulneaS to Dod-
dies an addition to the legacy of
e100 already made HIM to inflict
this punishment, and fifty guineas
each to DR.. Brush, DR.. Grinning
and Mr.. Purkin to witness the pun
ishment and see that it is admins
with conscientious smartncss.
charge Doddles. if lie have any af-
fectiop for his old mcster, not 10
spare the rod, but to lay on with
vigor. In case, however, Stephen
Umberglowth should decline sub
mitting to pcnance and stripes, / de
sire that nv estate shall bedisposed
of as follows = And the
will went ON to cay that in the event
of Stephen proving contumacious,
he was to receive 10000 only, and
the property was to be divided in
equal parts between the other rcla-
tiyes already mentioned.
You may imagine how the read
ing Of the foregoing clauses was re-
ceived. Alice Callingclere and her
husband could not refrain from a
burst of laughter grim smile how
ering over the lips of Lady Beak-
well Mr.. Gloam emitted pious
chuckle, and Mrs. Gloam blushed.
As for the great Stephen Umber-
glowth, he sat with his face crimson
and his eyeballs staring, speechless
with dismay and indignation.
Pooh, pooh what preposterous
stuffr' he hurled out, as soon as he
could speak. "Any court of law
will set these provisions aside"
Certainly, Mr.. Umberglowth,"
said the lawyer, in an apologize
tone as though to beg pardon for
what he had read. Il told your
cousin 50 when the will was drawn
up"
"But why did you allow him TO
draw up such will at all, sir2 It's
an insult TO common sense"
II did my best to dissuade him"
answered Mr.. Purkin. "Only a fort,
night ago. when he was on his
death bed, | returned to the hall TO
ask whether he would not change
those clauses but he declared that
he would not remit your-your pun
ishment.n
Come, Uncle Stephen. whipping
won't hurt you )" remarked Alice
Callingciere, maliciously.
and you will find those TIVE
chapters in Proverbs well worth
your attention, " observed Mr.. Gloam
pensiveIy.
Il am in no humcr for jesting,
cried Stephen, with a furious stamp
ing foot Those insulting clauses
must be set aside-they are dis
grace to the man VINO wrote them"
We'll Cousin Stephen, it is no.
our interest TO advise you to be
whipped, laughed Lady Beakwell,
dryly. we have more to gain BY
your attacking the will and getting
I set aside"
"Thc whole Of it must stand or
fall together remarked Dennis
Callingciere.
1T is the will of a mailman"
howled Stephen, unregardedly.
"0h, Uncle, how can you pretend
that :" exposthulated Alice, with
twinkling eyes.
"Why, only half an hour ago you
were saying how sensible your cous-
in was and such an accurate Judge
of character too -
Mr.. Umberglowth glared at his
niece and marched out OF the room.
When he was gone Alice had an
other uncomfortable fit of laughter,
which soon proved contagious, for
all the Others joined in it.
Meanwhile the great Stephen was
pacing up ana down his room like
q hyena of the non-laughing sort
lie was a practical man, and exam
ined his position by the help of that
far-famed common sense of his.
If he attacked the will its provis-
ions would be published in the
newspapers, and he would become
the laughing-stock to an unfeeling
community in all likelihood, too,
the will would be set aside and the
property would be divid' d equally
among the deceased relatives. Was
ii wise 10 incur such q risk ? A
hours pennncc for 100000 was not
too much. To be sure, there was
the whipping, but that would not
take long. Mr. Umberglowth tried
to recollect the sensations of his last
corporal punishmentat school, bat
reflection convinced him that the
more he thought upon the stripes
the less he would like them, and
that If he intended to 90 through
the penancc he had better get the
business over at once. SO with q
sudden impulse be ran down stars
and informed his smiling relatives
that he intended TO submit TO the
ordeal
The poor wretch even endeavored
to be jocular, hoping thereby 10 APP
pear less ridiculous. He caught up
newspaper and made himself q
fools-cap then he called for BIZ
bic, pumped down ON his knees
and began to read aloud. 1t must
be owned, however, that he looked
more than ever like a hyena as he
grovled out Judgments are pre-
pared for scorners and stripes for
the backs of fools" Even the de-
mure Mrs. Gloam had TO cram her
handkerchief into her moush and
retire precipitately from the room.
The great, but now discomiited
Stephen continued to read, under
der the sustaining reflection that he
was earning e500 a year per minute
and no interruption arose until to-
wards the end Of the hour, when
DoGdles, the coachman. entered the
newly-made rod Of large size and
evident suppieness. Mr.. Purkin
had Just read him the will, and the
worthy fellow was quite moved.
Crust me, sir, I'll lay it on prop
erly," be exclaimed, as he rolled up
his shirt sleeves, ''there isn't any,
wouldn't do for all my masters
sake