davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17
"MEN must work and women weep,
60 rl1ns the world aMaYp p,

But they need not weep so much if they use
Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" which
cures all the painful maladies peculiar TO
women. Sold by druggists.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

IF contemplating Building or Painting send
for the new Architectural Catalogue published
by VIM. 7. Comstock, 6 Astor Place, New York.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

AN orator saying that he had a very mixed
audience was asked how it happened "O,"
said he, II stirred it up so with my elo-
ouencen
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

WIFE-"But, my dear, shall catch cold
coming down so late to let you in" Hus-
band. Oh no, my love, I'll rap you up wen
before YOU come down.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

TRICHINAE continues to give us good deal
of trouble in Germany, but 1t is a little thing
to make fuss about.-LopeH Courier.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17
The only Known Specific Remedy for EnllentI, -.
SAMARITAN NERVINE

Cures Epileptic Fits, Spasms, Commissions c, y.
Dance Virtigo Mysteries. Insan iy AponFYr ~ slus
sis, rheumatism Neuralgia, and all Nervous bissssa
This nfasble rem fdy VIII pos yey eradicate eTcT,
Fl m whence they came, never TO return sspin avg"
utterly destroys the germs of disease bv negr, H
the hereditary taint poison in the system eng
oughly eradicaes the disease and utterly destTys5.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

SEr Feathers, ribbons, velvet can all be
colored to match that new hat by using the
Diamond Dyes. Any one can use them. 10
cents for any color.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

THE huge, drastic, gripping, sicllening pills
"Purgative Pellets" Sold by druggists.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

"ROUGH ON Rats Clears out rats, mice,
reaches, bed-bugs, gophers, chipmunks. 15c.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

The Athenians used to beat on bras.
kettles at the moment Of death. to fright.
en- away the Furies.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17
SAMARITAN NERv,Nr

Cures Female Weakness General DehIItv Trnco-rh
or Whites. Painful Mensuuation, liberation Y ~
Uterus Internal Heat. Gravek Inhammation ~ E ~
Bladder Irrtabty OF the Bladder For WsRefnr,ns N ,ns
Night. there is no better remedy During thc cba
of life no Female should be without it, II Guris VI,
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's EyaWater. Druggists sell 1t. 25c.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

YOUNG man in this city who practiced in
the gymnasium one afternoon only was en-
abled to jump his board bill the very next
day.-N. Y. Graphic.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

JUDGES" said a lawyer, ''always have a
great advantage over us poor fellows, for they
guess last"
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17
SAMARITAN NERVINE

Cures Nervous Dyspepsia, Papitation of the Heart
Asthma Bronchitis. anda diseases Of the urinary 81
gans Nervous debility permanently cured by the q
this invaluable remedy. TO you young midde.agelaud
old men, who are covering your suftcrings as with
mantle by silence, look up You can be saved by mcye
forts. and make ornaments 10 society and jewe Is The
crown of your Maker, If you viii. do not keep this
secret longer, until II saps your vtlls and destroys
both body and soul. If you are thus afflicted take DR.
RICHMoNDs Samaritan Nerylnc. 1t will restore your
shattered nerves arrest premature decay mpar tone
and energy to the whole system.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

SOME Of the manuscript offered to printers
is so bad that it ought first to be sent to the
house of correction with its author Chicago
Tyib3f71e
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

The Danes profess to know man
who is werewolf by the meeting Of his
eyebrows.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

In charity it may be better to give than to
receive, but in kissing it is about equal.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

"WHAT on earth takes you off to the stable
so early every morning lately!" asked wom-
an of her husband. s'Curry- -hossity."
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

"MIsERY may like company" says, a col
ored philosopher; but I'd raider nap de
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

"WE'RE in pickle now," said a man in a
crowd. "a regular JAM" said another.
"Heayen preserve isl" mourned an old lady.
Our Continent.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

SKINNY MEN. 4" Wells Health Renewer'' re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia. 81.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

THE man with the broadest smile is he who
uses Frazer Axle Grease This is honest.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

STocK-BREEDERs and bar-keepers agree that
there is profit in short horns.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

NOTHING makes the possessor smile so
much as good set Of teeth.
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

TRY the new brand, Spring Tobacco"
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17

Prepared by Woman.
Medical Discovery Since the Dawn Of History!
rFIt revves the dropping spirits, invigorates and
organic functions gives elasticity and
rmness step, restores the natural lustre to the
eye, plants the pale check of woman the fresh
OF ifes spring and early summer time
ss3 SET hysicans Use 1t and Prescribe 1t Freely ga
H 1t fntness, fatency, destroys all craving
for stimulant and relieves weakness of the stomach
That feeling of bearing down, causing pain, weight
m AMI backacfe is always permanently cured by It's use
For the OF Kidney Complaints OF either sex
this Compound is unsurpassed.
LYDIA E. PINKRAMs BLOOD PURIFIER
will eradicate yestifse Of bumors from tie
Blood, and strength 10 the system, or
0 child. Insist on having ii.
.r Both Compound and Blood Purifier are prepared
taf Western Avenue, Lynn Mass Price OF
either sl Six bottles for S. Sent by mail in the form
of pills. oflozengcs, receipt of price, 81 per box
sriF for Pkham freely all letters or
inquiry. Enclose Set stamp. Send for pamphlet
dala No family should be without LYDIA ErryKHArs
LIVER PILLS. They constipation, bliousness,
45 rat 1eisai HsrSold by all Druggists. "a %
'.' TkzFzaa16z < ~
Huntsville gazette., 1882-06-17
LYDIA e. PaNKHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND:

Is IA Positive Cure
For all those Painful Conn plants and Weaknesses
SO common to our best female population.
Medicine for Woman. Invented by Woman.
Prepared by Woman.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
An Off-Hand Way to Measure An Acre.

Few farmers know the size of their
fields, or how many acres they contain.
A field of the writer's, before it came
into his possession, had been plowed
and reaped by contract for fifteen acres.
On measuring it was found to have but
twelve acres. 1t is desirable, indis-
pensable in fact for good work, that a
farmer should know how many acres
each field contains, for otherwise he
cannot apportion seed or manure forit,
nor can he tell how much it would re-
quire to be plowed. A measuring cord
should be part of the furniture on ev.
cry farm. To make one, procure "
feet of strong rope, one inch around;
make loop or fasten ring or a bar at
each end, and make these precisely &C
feet apart. This is four rods. Then
tie piece of red rag in the center. One
acre of ground will be piece four of
the cords (chains) long and two and
one-half wide, equal to sixteen by ten
rods, making 100 square rods to one
acre. The advantage of the ring or
loop is that one person can measure
alone by driving a stake in the ground
to hold the rope while he stretches it
ont. The rope should be soaked IN tar
and dried, which will prevent it from
shrinking when wet.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
An OdiOus Comparison.

They were engaged to be married
and called eace other by their first
names Tom and Fanny, and he was
telling her how he had always liked the
name of Fanny and how it sounded
like sweet music in his ears.
Il like the name so WELL" he added
as a sort of clincher TO the argument,
that when sister Clara asked me to
name her pet terrier, / at once called 1t
Fannie-after ysu, dearest.
Il don't think that was very nice,
said the fair girl, edging away from
him. How would you like 10 have q
dog named after your
sWhy that isn't anything answered
Tom. sirily, half the cats in the
country are named after me.
They don't speak nov.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
Altar of Roses.

In the war plains of Turkey, south Of
the Balkan mountains, whole districts
are covered with rose plants, set in
lines about five feet apart, and tended
for some years with the greatest care.
At length, on some fresh, sweet morn
ing of early summer, while the roses are
yet wet with dew, the tender flowers
are torn off by the laborers, and cast at
once by heaps into huge coppers, there
to boil for hours in clean rain water.
The fragrant steam is carried along
tube, and on cooling becomes kind OF
thick rose water. This is boiled up
again, and it's vapor cooled into q
liquid, on the top of which floats a yell
lowish, oily scum that is known as at
tar of roses" It takes about 1000
pounds of roses to make one pound OF
altar. Once merchant opened cup
board in his store and showed visitor
thirty glass bottles, in which, he said,
was 100000 worth of the precious es-
sence. This quantity must have taken
nearly 100000 pounds of roses IN
But maybe, after all, their
fragrance in that form would give more
and longer lasting pleasure than could
have been given by the flowers had
they been left upon their bushes, where
they would have cheered only the
passer-by.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
FOur Mad Elephants.

At Santa Rosa, Mexico, recently a
circus company having four elephants
arrived, and they were housed IN
quadrangle, the walls on three sides
being of stone and the other OF WOOD;
During the morning after their arrival
the elephants. from some cause, became
angered and began smashing the wag-
ons and sheds, etc, that were belng
arranged for show purposes. AT the
time of the outbreak there were
number of the troupe, of both sexes
present, but so sudden and slmulta-
neous was the dash of the infurlated
animals that before they could get OUT
of the waya number of persons were
crushed beneath falling timber and the
feet of the beasts. The keeper strug-
gled manfully to subdue the elephants;
the yells of terror of the frightened
company, and the groans of the wound
ed. The huge monsters broke down
the wooden wall and dashed into tle
streets, striking CONSERVATION into the
whole town. The elephants escaped
to the woods and were not captured
until the third day after their escape
Some twelve of the company were
severely wounded, two of them dying
from the effect of their injuries.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
A Dakota Romance.

A romantic episode comes from r..
Homme, Dakota. A young and attrac,
i've Bohemian girl who went into a bo,',
as q servant when quite Young, and me
tured under influences different from
those which surrounded her at home =
the heroine of the affair. Like A o,sas
many other young and attractive GIRL
she fell in love, and her affection Wa,
reciprocated by the stage-driver unon
whom it was lavished. They were yerS
happy in their regard for each otbe,
and life was one summers dream nn,;i
the arrival the other day of the parents
Of the young damsel, They came in a
two.horse wagon, with command 10
their daughter to place herself and her
baggage therein, and 60 home and bs
married to young Bohemian, whom
they had selected as her partner in the
future. Under the Bohemian code
strict obedience to parental commands
Is exacted, and she complied with the
order. But she had become sufficiently
Americanized to think little for her.
self, and she succeeded in sending word
to her stage.driver lover regarding the
situation of affairs. The residence oc.
cupied by her parents stands at the
junction of two roads, and travellers are
frequently compelled to stop at the
house and make inquiries regarding the
louie they are to take. During the
evening after the arrival of the girl Of
her home, while she was conversinp
with her future husband, a buggy halted
at the house and the stage-driver afore.
said alighted therefrom, knocked at the
door and asked which road he should
take to 90 to a certain place he was de.
sirous of reaching. The applicant for
information was not known to the pa.
rents of the prospective bridegroom
and the only person in the family cir
Gle who could converse in English was
the girl who loved the stage driver.
She was accordingly deputized to go
out to the forks of the road and show
him the way. She went, but did not
return, and in the course OF time hor.
rible suspicion entered the mind of the
The horses were hitched
up and pursuit bugun. But it was
fruitless. The stage driver and his fair
companion skipped across the prairie
TO the nearest justice of the peace and
were quickly married. The parents Of
the blushing bride were compelled to
give up their claim on their daughter,
but they held fast to her worldly effects
for several days. Finally, however, the
new-made husband found that the fam
ly was absent from the house with the
exception of the younger brother of the
bride. He accordingly madea call at
The domicile, possessed himself of his
yife's baggage, and got away with it.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
A Dive for Life,

Just below Kanawha Falls, in West
Virginia, is an overhanging rock of
immense size jutting out about one hun
dred feet over seething whirlpool
and it was once the scene OF remark
able adventure.
The indians we're in hot persuit of
Van Bibber, settler and man of dis
tinction in those early times. He was
hard pressed and ali access to the river
below and above being cut off, he was
driven to this iutting rock, which
proved to be the jumping off place for
him. - He stood on the rock, in full
view of the enemy above and below, who
yelled like demons at the certainty of
his speedy capture. lie stood up boldly
and with his rifle kept them at bay. AS
he stood there he looked across the
river, saw his friends-his wife with
her babe in her armes-all helpless to
render assistance. They stood as if
petrifed with terror and amazement.
She cried at the top of her voice:
"Leap into the river and meet mel"
Laying her babe on the grass, she
seized the oars and sprang into skiff
alone. As she neared the middle of
the river, her husband saw the Indians
coming in full force and yelling like
demons. .
wife, wife!" he screamed, "I'm
coming; drop down little lower"
With this he sprang from his crag
and descended like an arrow into the
water, feet foremost.
The wife rested on her oars a moment
to see him rise to the surface, the little
skiff hoated like a cork, bobbing about
on the boiling flood. 1t was an awful
moment; it seemed an age to her.
Would he ever rise? Her earnest gaze
seemed to penetrate the depths of the
water, and she darted her boat further
down the stream. He rose near her, in
a moment the boat was alongside of him,
and she helped him scramble into it
amid a shower of arrows and shot that
the baffied Indians poured into them.
The daring wife did not speak word;
her husband was more dead than alive,
and all depended on her strength be-
ing maintained till they could reach
the bank. This they did, Just where
she started, right where the babe was
still laying, growing and laughing.
The men pulled the skiff high on the
land, and the wife slowly arose aud
helped lift Van Bibber to his feet. He
could not walk, but she laid him down
by his babe, and then seating herself,
she vept wildly, Just as any other wo-
man would have done under the cir
cunstances. That babe is now q grand
father, and that rock is called Van
Bibbers rock" TO this day.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
urs,sIynaertakers.

How often do We hear the query,
I"What becomes of the dead BIRDS
The secret Of their mysterious disap
pearance was but Just now half told py
the buzz of those brown wings, ana
the other half is welcome to any one
who will take the trouble to follow
their lead. The beetle is one OF man
incalculnble benefactors. 1t is his
mission to keep fresh and pure the
air we breathe. He is the sexton that
takes beneath TIE mould not only the
fallen sparrow, but the mice, the SOUR
rels. and even much larger creatures
that die in our woods and fields.
Beneath that clump OF yarrow 1
found lust what l had expected--a small
dead bird-and the grave-diggers were
in the midst of their work. Already
the rampant Of fresh earth was raised
around the body, and the cavity was
growing deeper with every moment, as
the busy diggers excayated the turf De
meath. grs.a. '1-rI -. m. MI. iIr...
Now and then one would emerge on
tour of inspection, even rummaging
among the feathers OF that silent throat,
and climbing upon the ,plumy breast
to press down the little body into the
deepening grave.
These nature-burials are by no means
rare, and where the listless eye fails to
discover them the nostril will often in
dictate the way, and toany one DESTROYS
of witnessing the operation, without
the trouble of search, it is only neces-
sary to place in some convenient spot
of loose Garth the carcass of some
small animal The most casual obser.
YER could not fail soon to be attracted
by the orange spotted beetles. Ento'
mologists assert that these insects are
attracted by the odor of decay; but
from by own humble Investigations l
have never been able to fully reconcile
myself to this theory.
If it were the. question of odor alone
in this dead bird, for instance, it would
be difficult to explain the Decline flight
Of these humming beetles, two of which
came swiftly toward me even from the
direction of the wind, and dropped
lulChly upOu u1CSS A0"oitSho hiAuoh
rom sight among the grass. Perhaps
n such an instance we might imagine
hat they had been there before, and
Knew the way; that they had noted
his clump of yarrow, maybe; but I
lave observed the fact before when
here was every reason to believe that
10 such previous visit had been made.
am always glad of the opportunity
o watch the progress of these meadow
'urials. And had you accompanied me
N that morning walk, you would have
ooked with interest at those little I'M
ertakers seen that feathery mass
oss and heave with strange mockery
f life as the busy sections worked be-
cath it, digging with their spiked
highs, shoveling out loose earth with
heir broad heads, and pulling down
he body into the deepened cavity
in Harper'st Maya
me. .
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
THE DEW PLANT.
ny MRs. l.. $. MCPHERSON.

(The following poem was suggested
on seeing a person who had no APP
probation OF either its value or It's
beauty, break long trailing spray
from plant which the writer had
regarded with tender care for one year.
o flower q silvery dropping steam
And petals rosy hued. ....ff .#r
OF window plants the fairest gem
With crystal drops bedewen, ~
One sin is set against thy grace
As flash, thy faultless flowers Expand;
Tempting like women's blushng face,
The spoilers reckless hand.
Thy shin ing sprays and tempting baoomy,
Like Magdalene falls at last
Spurned in the dust, u, hapless doom !
With all thy sweetness past.
Thy meekness, innocence and grace. -..
Like women's charms obstruction win;
Mans gory-life, lies in her face,
Or snares that lure 10 mortal sin.
o, emblem of frail beauties heart s-
Blushing in shadows cool and green
Teach women that their women's art
Is TO be sweet and seldom seen.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
Some New Arithmetic.

| It is twenty-six rods from Smiths
house to the saloon where he taxes 9
nip six mornings per week. In nfteen
years how far has he walked?
If college student tears down two
signs upsets four ash barrels, rips up
FIVE rods of sidewalk, breaks two WIN
dows and mashes the professor OF Latin
all in one week, how would charge OF
bird.shot effect his constitution the fol-
lowing Monday night when girdllng
shade trees? .r w. -,
A wise Arabian who had $l3 in his
vest pocket wanted to divide it among
five beggars SO as to give each one %.
How did he proceed? This is the one
that always keeps the boy after school
and gets his jacket busted.
How many boys three feet tall will
it take to climb over a wall tive feet
high and carry off half a bushel OF har-
vest apples? This must be figured by
the rule of three-two boys and the
old mans dog.
During a courtship of three years a
Young man writes his girl 472 love let
tiers, calls her an angel 1,4S1 times, ac-
companies her to twenty eight picnics
and seventy-two singing schools, and
then walks off on his ear and marrles a
widow With six children. Find how
much the girl loses providing she lights
on the right kind of lawyer to move the
jury? u.s.. .fr- a :,
A peasant who had half cord of
wood at the door desired his five sons
to saw it up in such ratio that the eld-
est should saw three-sevenths and the
Youngest one sixth. How did they di-
vide the wood? Key: For the teacher
only: They let the old man saw 1t, OF
course. rH','
The average woman speaks 142 words
per minute. In conversation lasting
sixteen minutes servant girl with her
ear at the key-hole catches 356 words:
How many does she miss, and how did
she get that black eye?
If it takes @ boy II years of age
twenty-five minutes to bring six small
sticks of wood, how long will it take
him to go mile and a half to see a
circus procession?
A fond husband hands his wife 500
with which to purchase a spring bon
net and well, we don't remember the
rest of it. He probably died soon after
handing over the money, or she discov-
cred that the $40 was counterfeit, or
or other happened to cut the
hing short. Come to think of it,
ond husband bought himself a $50
,vercoat and gave his wife twelve shil-
ings to get her fall hat clapboarded
,ver for winter, and she thanked him
Kindly, and he smiled lovingly, and the
mother law went and hanged herself
n the wood house.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30
pects2

pectsp" f''
"Oh, Geoflreyl"
"Ah, dearest, you have never suffered
the pangs of jealousy. And when' at
last, the bequest Of distant cousin
placed me above want, l decided to
leave this country forever. And thus
it happens that / engaged passage on
this vessel"
"But, Geofirey"-with smile and a
blush-"you-you will not go nowT.
"Not If You will stay in England with
Mr.. Rossmore.Ht .I9a Nnr
Mrs. and Miss Gerard went to Italy
without maid, and had mo. IA all to
themselves. ~ -
Colonel Dale and his sister-in'law
have concluded that it is useless to en-,
ter the lists against love; and MIR. ana
Mrs. Godfrey Rossmore are happy az
last.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30

IT is hard to tell which is the more
ridiculous, the young fool or the old
fool; but the old fool has this sdyani-
age-he will never be a young fool
whereas the young fool may some ds!
be an old fool.
A eRKExBAcK with a hole in it VII
be received where a silver dollar having
O hole would be refused. This Is A.
Iowa argument in favor of greenosck~
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1882-03-30

TEE Charge of the Heavy Brigade"
was about twelve dollars per month and
rstions for each man.