davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

bel. Wis. Attorney and Counselor at Law. Will
practice in all Wisconsin Courts and in the United
States Courts, make Collections and transact
business promptly. 0flice over Ritter Il Hub
bells hardware store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

O0-N-@-0---0O0--~~~c~~-~-~
Attorney WARDEN ANDERSON, At
torney and Counselor at Law, jamestown. Wis
VIII prosecute claims and make collections
promptly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

The humorist of the Dodgeyille Sun
suggests that the Hon. George Clement
son when he witnessed the ponderous
rolls of paper presented to Judge Goth
ren was ''half inclined to withdraw. :"
The Sun is true in one respect, Mr..
Cementson did think of withdrawing
but it was only from the court room,
for fear the righteousness of the scene
would prove too much for his visiblcs.
If this be the kind Of Withdrawing refer
red to, the Sun is quite RIGHT.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

BRirTIsH HOLLOW.

-.0J0-0-O--~~~~~N010~~~ ~~-~-0-N~01NNN~~@~0~~o~
Auctioneer-CHAREs VINCENT, Brit
ish Hollow. Wis. Anetioneer and Collector Bust
ness attended to promptly in all parts of Grant
county.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02
Bank EXCHANGE Bank OF BoscoBEL.

NJ. y. Tilotson. Cashier date Cashier of First
National Bank. Translates a general banking
and exchange business. Special attention given
to collections. and proceeds RENTED promptly
on day OF payment. Boscobcl, Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

Agent BROOKS, Bloomington,
Wis General Collecting Agent and Conyeyancer
Titles investigated and perfected Collections
promptly attended to. Reference given when
desired.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02


caster, Wis. ONCE over McCoys store.
Attorneys j. r. AND j. NJ. MILLS,
Lancaster, Wis, Attorneys at Law. ONCE at
the residence Of Judge Mills.
Attorneys CLARK AND
WATKINS, Attorneys and Counsclors Mt Law. Gen
cral Collection and Land Agents. Practice in all
The state and United States Courts. Office in
Lancaster. Wis
Attorneys BARBER AND CLEMENTsON,
Lancaster, Wis, Attorneys and Counselors at
Law. VIII practice in all the courts in Wisconsin.
AttOrney-R. G. ORR, Lancaster, Wis,
Attorney at Law. Office in court house. Diff
cult collections specially, and business prompt
ly attended to.
Attorney. j. ARTHUR, Lancaster,
Wis. Attorney at Lawand Notary Public. Special
time and Attention given 10 collecting and secur
ing Claims. Loans Of money Negotiated. General
Fire and Life Insurance Agent. Office in front
Of Court House.
Attorney 7. THOMPSON, Lancas-
caster, Wis. Attorney and Counselor at Law
Court Commissioner for Grant County and Gen
eral Pension Agent.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02
BOSCOBEL.

cobel. Wis. dealers in everything belonging TO
the Hardware, Stove and Tinware business.
Finest line Of Cooking and Heating Stoves in
Southwestern Wisconsin and sold at prices and
on terms satisfactory 10 all. Agents for every
Kind Of machinery made by G. Aultman q Co,
large line OF Stove and Machine repairs con-
stantly on hand
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

Insurance -BLooMINGToN FARMER S IN
sURANcE COMPANY. Office at Bloomington, Grant
county, Wis. John Ryan, President; Thomas
| Pendleton, Secretary and Treasurer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

Agent JACOB MCLAUGHLIN, Boscobel,
Law, Collection and Insurance Agent Will at
tend promptly to all business entrusted to his
care. Office on Wisconsin avenue.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02
LAN(tASTER.

~~N~~~O~0~N~NO~~~~~NON~N
Doctors BARBER 81 MITCHELL, Lam
caster, Wis. ONCE over McCoy's store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

The Dodgevil!e Sun humorist stretch
es his conscience and the truth at one
and the same time 10 get off witty
allusion to hundreds of Republicans
whose names We're signed TO those won
derfully gotten up petitions. We pre-
sumo the Sun joker is so filled with the
sense of the ludicrious that he cannot
refrain from a good joke when he sees
the opportunity As the presenters Of
the paper could name but one Republi-
can who had signed the 'call'' and he
has already repudiated his Signature as
gotten in bad faith, it is doubtful Just
where those hundreds of Republi-
cans" come in. Even Macauley's
school-boy would understand that had
those names been as plentiful as assert
ed the tribute bearers would not have
let so good an opportunity slip to rattle
Of a list of supporting Influential Re-
publicans."
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

The trial Of Sergeant Mason, for shoot
ing at Guiteau was commenced in Wash
ington last week, Mason complains bit
terly of the way he has been treated.
He was confined in rat infested cell
where his Sleep was disturbed by raids
from these vermin, and he draws a
striking contrast between this treatment
and the manner in which Guiteau has
been handled. The sergeant should re-
member that citizen Guiteau killed \
president, which makes him person of
some consideration.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

Senatorial-C. +. Osborne, N. Ohm
stead.
Assembly-Eastern district, j. E.
Monahan, Darius Eastman; Western
district, j. w. Trestrail, VIM. Mates.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

Gen. Logan is said to be preparing
speech in which he will advocate the
continuapce of the internal revenue tax
on spirits and take the ground that the
tax thus raised shall be divided among
the states and territories in proportion
to their population, for educational
purposes. Logan at times makes sad
work among the verbs and adverbs but
his heart is generally found to be in the
right place
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02
BLOOMINGTON.

BLOOMINGTON.
--o-~~~~0-~~~~~~o~-~~-~~
nce-BLOOMINGTON FARMER s IN
sURANcE COMPANY. Office at Bloomington, Grant
county, Wis. John Ryan, President; Thomas
Pendleton, Secretary and Treasurer.
Agent JESSE BROOKS, Bloomington,
Wis, General Collecting Agent and Conyeyancer.
Titles investigated and perfected. Collections
promptly attended to. Reference given when
desired.
Hotel BLOOMINGTON HOTEL, SIMON
Woodhouse Proprietor. Boomin gton, Wis Hav-
ing reftted and built ample room for the accom-
mediation Of guests, ! am now prepared to ac-
commodate them with wellfurnished rooms,
good beds aud well-supplied tables. Sample
rooms. Attentive hostlers. Good stabling.
BOSCOBEL.
Hotel BETS HOUSE, Boscobel, Wis.
Seymour Case Proprietor. Good aecommoda-
tions for man or beast Good Sample Rooms.
Baggage conveyed to and from trains free of
charge,
Drugs SAWYER d FAVOR, Boscobel,
Wis. dealers in Drugs and Groceries, Toilet arti-
cles, Wall Paper Books. Also keeps ON hand
the choicest brands ofCigars and Tobaceos.
Hardware RITTER x HUBBELL, Bosco-
cObel Wis dealers in everything belonging TO
the Hardware. stove and Tinware business.
Finest line Of Cooking and Heating Stoves in
Southwestern Wisconsin and sold at prices and
on terms satisfactory 10 all. Agents for every
eind Of machinery made BY c. Aultman & Co,
A large line OF Stove and Machine repairs con-
stantly on hand
Bank EXCHANGE BANK OF BosCoBEL.
NJ y. Tillotson Cashier date Cashier of First
National Rank1 Tronsocts General bankinr
and exchange business. Special attention given
to collections. and proceeds RENTED promptly
on day Of payment. Boscobel, Wis.
----------------- - !.
Agent JACOB MCLAUGHLIN, Boscobel,
Law, Collection and Insurance Agent. Will at
tend promptly to all business entrusted to his
care. Office on Wisconsin avenue.
AttOrney-JoHN ID. WILSON, Bosco-
bel. Wis. Attorney and Counselor at Law Will
practice in all Wisconsin Courts and in the United
states Courts, make Collections and transact
business promptly. Office over Ritter 4 Hub
Attorneys -HAZELTON AND PRoyIS,
BosCohcl Wis. Attorneys and Counsclors at
Law. Practice in United States and all State
Courts. General Collection and Real Estate
Agents. Office on Wisconsin Avenue.
CASSVILLE.
-~~~o~N~O~N~N~~~~~~o~cO~
Agent I'd. ii. {. SNECLODE, Cassville,
Wis. Notary Public, Convcyancer and Fire In
surance Agent. Collections promptly attended to-
Hotel -DENNIsToN House, w. Moore,
Proprietor Cassxille Wis The house has been
lately rcfttcd and TefurnfShcd throughout and
no pains viii be spared to accommodate guests
Good stHbling attached
FAERPLAN.
Attorney SAMUEL MERRICK, Fair
play, Grant County, Wis, Attorney and Coun
-clnr at Law.
JAMESTOWN.
~N~~O~-NO-~NN~~~-~O~-~~~
Attorney w ARDEN ANDERSON. At
torney and Counselor at Law jamestown. Wis
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-03-02

Three Iowa desperadoes were cap
tured at Randolph in this state last
week, by the officers who have been on
their trail since last summer Their
last exploit was robbing an Iowa bank
of $500 Their whereabouts was dis
covered by means of u bottle of perfum-
cry. which one of the thieves sent to his
wife. While making the arrest one of
the officers was shot twice but not dan
gerously, while one of the desperadoes
was hit three times. His wounds will
probably prove fatal
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

think how much pleasure there
may be in store for you, or you
would fight thousand step-moth-
ers before you thought for one mo-
ment Of dying such an unnatural
aud untimely death. Now, that
you have failed to take your own
life or put period after your fifteen
years growth, We must offer you a
few words ofcongratulation and adj
vice. Do not think Of such a thing
again. Remember that in one
short year you will be "sweet six
teen," aud the dashing young men
who get seven dollars week for
chambermaid work in livery sta.
bles, aad wear cluster diamond
pins drawn from ten cent candy
prize package, will break their
neck for your society. One of
these stylish youths viii let you
wear his pin until the day rolls
around for him to clasp you to his
manly bosom and claim you as his
own. Then sorrows will cease,
and in few short years your chill
dren will grow up aud call you
blessed. Just think Of the pleas
ure Of having hslf dozen blue
eyed little dears TO wash and fon-
de sll day long, and to cry and
dampen your clothes with their
sweet little tears at night ! No,
dear Amanda, if you had asked our
advice week ago you would nev-
er have been panied in the happy
years to come with the recollection
that your name appeared in the
Kansas City Times No sember z1st,
1882, the same day Bob Ingersoll
was billed to lecture here. 1t is1't
so much the disgrace of trying to
kill yourself, but the manner in
which you sought to accomplish it,
and the mistake your friends made
in telling the fendish Times folks
about it. Never be guilty Of such
another break, dear, and if that
step-mother bothers you again put
a mug on her with which she can
eat hay out Of jug. Life is too
sweet to be fitted away in any
such manner, and you should ever
keep thinking about it, and want
TO live to an old age. Grip.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

:: :.:s:l.lns Lid AZ al a..lares 9ar
down at The posts efco 10 aisOt!cl
cid codger, whats de meanin' o.
sersa-yersa?"
"Ii means tothcr from which, y
answered ssm with great dignity.
81 dunno" said the first one, 81
think il means upside down"
"No," rctoitcd his friend, "I'se
done suah II means hind side de-
foah.v
A third old fellow came by just
ihen and they appealed the ques-
ton to him.
II cannot desplain pezacily," he
said, so to meet wild your comprc-
dehcnsion, but wiser-yersa, am a
preparation from de Latin and
means wuss and wuss and mo- Of
it. members stumblin' over it
at collcdgo. IL am hard word to
He amblcd along with his buck
saw and the two who bad referred
to him looked after him with res
pecl and admiration, wondering
that "onc small head could cary
al he knew"
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

4 DUEL was fought ia Texas by
Alexander Shott and JOHN s. Mott.
Mott was shot and Shot was not.
In this case it is better to be Shot
than Mott. There was rumor
that Mott was not shot. and Shott
avows that hc shot Mott, which
proves that either tie shot shot
Mott, or Mott was not shot, OF that
Mott was shot notwithstanding.
Circumstantial evidence IS not al
ways good. 1t may be made toap-
pear on trial that the shot Shot
shot shot Mott; or as accidents
with firearms are frequent, il may
be possible that the shct Shoii shot
shot himself, when The whole affair
resolves itself into It's original cle-
ments, and Shot. would be slot
and Mott wouldbc not. We think.
however, that the shot shoit shot
shot not sholt but shot Noit. Any
way, it is hard to osay whow shot.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

A LITTLE girl vas seen on the
track Of the Missouri Pacific rail.
road, waving her apron Wildly and
trying TO stop the train. SO first
the engineer thought she was al
play, but, as she stood there per-
sistently waving, he reversed the
engine and put on the brakes, COM
ing to halt in the middle Of o
curved cut Looking out and down
the track beyond they saw an ex-
press train coming from the oppo-
site direction at fnil speed. The
little girl continued waving her
apron until that train was also
brought 10 a halt within few feet
cfthe lrst train, thus preventing a
terrible accident Before the little
girls name end residence could be
learned she had disappeared, but
the railroad company iatend re-
warding her for her good deed.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15
FESRLs or THOUGHT.

Duty Dever frowns upon thos'
who shln her. On those who fol
low h4r she smiles.
Death j. the antagonist of life,
and The thought Of the tomb is the
skeleton Of al feasis.
Life Is battle. From its ear.
Hest dawn 20 its latest breath we
are struggling with something.
The proper way TO check Sian.
der is to despise it; attempt 10 ov-
ertake and refute It, and it will out
run you.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

A fresh married couple came in
TO Chicago enc evening tbs week
and put up Al the lest hotel in ihe
city. Instead Of going in at Tie
lady's entrance the man escorted
his wife clear through the rotunda
and stumbling up stairs found a
lsarlor, and leaving her there came
down to register. He also made
enc CT two delirious breaks which
attracted the attention Of the night
10 register be wrote in a tangle leg
sort ofserawl
and lady"
"fhal's your wife, l presume2'
inquired the clerk blandly.
"You bet she's my wife" " repli-
ed the man, with an auromatie
odor Of anger in his tone.
MAKE il 50, 1hen, on the regis
ter, please" suggested the clerk.
"Nhat,' said the man, staring
like dog setting eoyey Of prai-
rie chickens.
Please make it and wife on
the register"
"Whv. don't YOU think my wife
is LADY," inquired the newly
matched husband.
"Not the least doubt of:t in the
world. my dear sir, but the rules
Of the house make it imperative
upon all married guests to sign as
husband and wife"
"lou DON'T suppose I'd bring a
woman here if She wasn't my wife,
do your" asked the man choking a
little and trembling at the corners
Of his mouth.
"0h no, bat you just make it
and WIFE aud that will be all
right" said the clerk paciiically.
"And you are willing to admit
that she's A ladyY"
"Nhy, Of course. No one dis
putes that. "
The man slowly crossed The word
"lady' and wrote 'twiie" just
above it.
IL have TO DO that, " he mttfmur-
ed, 81 hayen't been married but
two days and il looks as though !
was going plum back on Eliza. |
want you 10 understand, and ] want
The rest Of you fellows TO under
stand that ELIAS dad is worth
over e2O,uOO, and ii she air a lady
you haven't got any ladies in Chi
cago. Understand that, gentle
men, she's q lady ofihcfrst water,
and no mistake. ! don't scratch
her on my own acepvnt, but just to
keep alongside the rules of this
cursed boarding house. And there
amt any OF YOU fellows as wants
- say She ain lady, ciiher."-
cheek.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

Ak exchange publishes the fol-
lowing with the significant remark,
"Hand It to your bzrler:' II
want a close shave. l am in q
hurry Do not put any oil or
grease upon my hair. never use
bayum or cosmetics Please comb
my hair up and back. / do not
wish my hair trimmed or cut. 1
do not want any hair tonic OF skin
medicine | DO not want any
shampoo or bath. have not
heard the latest news from Egypt,
nor do / want 70. ] care nothing
for politics or crime or society. ]
do not care for market or stock re-
ports. / am not a stranger IN the
city, and / am not going to the ball
this evening / am = professor in
a deaf and dumb institute, and ]
am glad Of it. Go ahead and
shave me"
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15
Bob Durdeiie On Growers.

"My son, when you hear man
growing and scold;ng because
Moody gets two hundred dollars a
week for preaching Christianity,
you will perceive that he never
worries a minute because Ingersoll
gets two hundred dollars a night
for preaching Skepticism. You
will observe that the man who is
unuiterably shocked because Fran
els Murphy gets ono hundred and
fifty dollars week for temperance
work seems 10 think it all right
when the bar-kecpor takes iatwicc
is~---'l -'l,x,s' rs~sicy~i-- ~s-ss~ 1nt
laborer is worthy Of his hire, my
boy, and he is just as worthy of it
in the pulpit as upon the stump.
Is the man who is trying to save
your immortal soul worth less than
the man who is trying bis level
best TO go to Congress? Isn't
Moody doing as good work as In
gersoll? Isn't John d. Cough as
much the friend of humanity and
society as The bartender? DO you
won't TO get all the good in the
world for nothing, SO that you may
be able TO pay high price for the
bad? Remember, my boy, the
good things in the world are the
cheapest. Spring water costs less
than corn whisky; box of cigars
will buy two or three Bibles; a gal
Ion Of old brandy costs more than
a barrel Of -four; .'full-hand' at
poker often costs man more in
twenty minutes than his church
subscription amounts 70 in. three |
years; a state election costs more |
than a revival of religion; you can
sleep in church every Sabbath
morning for nothing, If you're
mean enough TO dead-bcat your
lodgings in that way, but a nap in
The Pullman car costs you two dol
lars every time; City cents for the
circus and penny for the little
ones TO put in tie missionary box;
one dollar for the thcatcr and a
pair Of old trousers frayed at the
md, baggy as TO the knee and ut
lcrly bursted as to the dome, for
he Michigan sufferers; the dancing
ady who tries TO wear her waist
lround her knees and kicks her
llippers clear over the orchestra
'hai,s every night, gets 5000 a
week, and the city missionary gets
900 year; the horse race scoops
n $1,000 the first day and the
huron fare lasts week, works
twenty-five or thirty Of the best
Tomen in America nearly to death,
nd comes out $40 in debt-why,
~ boy, if you ever find YOURSELF
neering or scofing because once
a while yen hear Of a preacher
citing living, or even a luxur-
'Is salary, or temperance work.
! making money. go out in the
ark and feel ashamed Of yourself.
recious little does religion and
aarity cost the old world, my boy,
I'D when the money it does cost is
ung in its face, like bone TO a
og, il is the meanesf kind Of an
'sult. .-Brrlingfon Haukeye. ,
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

President ARTHUR and the Re-
publican party remind enc just
now of the Indiana man who bet
$40 that he could ride the liy-wheei
in saw mill. AS tile widcw paid
the bet, she remarked: "Chct was
kind husband in providing for
his family, but he didn't know
much about hy-whcols. p
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

A FRESoHuAN has invented an
apparatus to cook BY the heat ct
the sun, but We are inclined % be-
lieye there is a great deal Of lnoon-
shine about it. Perhaps he is So
ing to chop up the snnheams for
kindling wood with which to heat
the machine.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

A NoRrHERN Texas paper calls
the highway robbers who operate
around Dallas ..brazen bandilti. "
These robbers remind us Of John
Phanix's pistol. Il was lone Of
the old fashioned, brass mounted
kind, and Of such is the Kingdom
of heaven "
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

A BERLIN sausage maker named
very fine brand Of sausage Bis
mark HErst,n the latter word
sDurst meaning sausage. This IS
the best chance we ever saw to
make the srafsl pun. Ne never
sausage chance. Next
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

An Iowa paper speaks Of low
ing couple, who We're neighbors,
but were separated "by a cold
cloud of realism. I" What kind of
new patent fence is that.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

A FRENcn doctor adYertises that
he can cure men OF snoring. Az
most anybody can cure man of
snoring ifhe. knows what 10 give
him for ii. The only inan who
cannot be cured Of snoring by a
doctor or anybody else is Texas
veteran. judging from tie NUM-
ber of survivors it is no wonder tho
bullets were powerless 90 cxiermi-
nate them. since the rcmofscless
---<>s-------A-- -------~-~-->.ss.sr-
from their ranks.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

HorsToS has a colored doctor
who kills his patients with home
made remedies. He says he can
not understand what possible use
his professional brethren can have
for a drug store. His patients
can't. either.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

"WnY men drink is what stag
gers us" says woman's journal.
What men drink is what staggers
them.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1882-12-15

J. Every railroad entering ST. Louis
Is directly tributary to these yards.
.. Texas shippers are influrcl that
connection With these yards from the
Iron Mountain & &Sonshcrn railroad can
be made without cost and with much
less shrinkage than 10 any other.
3. These yards have the peculiar al
vantage OF being located on the ST.
Louis side Of the river, from which
five hunlrei Thousand people draw
their provision supply.
4. Every packing house in ST. Louis
has regular buyer stationed here.
Buyers Of cattle, hogs and sheep, both
for the home market and eastern ship
meni are at all times represented.
D. for comfort and convenience these
yards have no superior In the country.
Two lines OF street cars approach here.
Hotel, telegraph Offices and other con-
fenicncea for stockmcnon the premises
ESrlLL MCHfNRl,
W. A. RAMSAY. President.
Secretary and Treasurer. IA