Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1882-12-14

stolen key of lager beer loose in the
woods. 1t was
GLORIOUS HALCYoN TINE
that. 1t was an excellent opportunity
for electioneering, too, which l inn
proved in explaining to the sovereign
what laws the Legislature ought to pass,
and that ! would fix them up in as good
n shape as Scion and Lycurges both to-
gether could have done if they would
only send me there.
Our plan of opcrtions on the road was
very simple, and without a large expend-
iture of perspiration and muscle, we de-
moliShed the distractions put in lie
road by the overseer of the year before.
We usually buried the road in a mob of
clay soil and debris, which, when satur-
ated by %equinoctial showers and tramped
and kncaded sufi GENTLY by four-footed
beasts and creeping things, was con-
yerted into a slough Of despond; so that
if John Bunyan's pilgrim had been COM
PEELED to travel over it, ! am surc he could
not have reached the celestial city TO
this day. Considered in a military point
OF view, as a defensive work it was un-
cxceptionable. 1t would haYe halted
and demolished General Sherman's
army. Nevertheless it answered the
friendly purpose Of signalling to the
traveller where his danger was, and that
if DR.. Il. had not prescribed for his
aches Il mud bath he had better take to
the woods.
l suppose in your next issue you will
ask me
''WIItr KNOW ABOUT FARMING"
for the edilication and instruction of
your granger readers. Iwill anticipate
your question at once. Some years ago
/ concluded | could knock the sand from
those non-progressiye routine farmers
who had never learned from Horace
Greeley to which end Of the plow the
horses ought TO be hitched, or had beer
taught by the Country Gentleman tie
invaluable secret that young animals
kline or equine. could be kept fat til,
winter through on turnips at the cost o
eighty cents a head. | did not remem
berfrom what learned essay | discovered
how to find out whether my apple graft
were growing in the stock, but | wa.
cautioned not TO forget to stick then
back in the places after | pulled then
out to assur myself they had unite,
with their new parentage. And the
the grand discovery Of Silo, by whicI
timothy and clover could be pickle,
and preserved in its bloom and fresh
ness forever and n day. The proSy rus
ties who had monopolized the soil kne,
nothing about that. Not one of ther
had the least smattering of French, an
still they went on raising hogs and cal
tie all the anne. Let some Name
Capac descend from the sun and teac
them the nysteries of vegetable and m
imal life! heard President Twombl
tell from what part of tie ear the see
of next year should be taken. Initiate
into all these mysteries.
ICOULD NOT FAIL.
) / worked hard myself, fenced in
farm ON a plan invented by myself.
laid the bottom rails on stakes drive
into the ground SO high BIS hogs coul
not jump over them mailed the rails fa'
and built ON that foundation.
t | bought young cattle and colts i
particular and made quite an actiy
market for these quadrupeds, and thos
, | could not get | coveted, but |
NEVER BROKE I'll COMMANDMENTS
in coyeting an OK or an ASS belonging t
another man. You see horse flesh
not specified in the inhibition. Iraise
5 corn, and built haystacks higher tha
the town of Babel is now. A war;
5 pelaoual attachment ,prang mp betwee
r me and the noble animals with whom
q trusted my fame and fortune. Mr.. {
told me they were from the finest strai
that ever adorned the blue grass rcgio
Of old kcntuck., and assured me that
all the members Of It's illustrious ped
gree were still alive and kicking upo
the earth and arranged in file, one h,
hind the other, it would run backward
across the gravcyards Of many genera
tions until il reached the old Ac. til
/ founder Of the dynasty; an ancestry eS
tending rs far back at leas. as job
Buren's. that is To Kindlehook. Every
thing in the shape Of a horse, young o
old. male or female. that he brought m
and turned into my pasture l paid hin
for. aud | still sought for more. Icuul'
get through the summer triumphantly
/ but | found that the aggregate interio
capacity of these new pets exceeded Ii
dimensions of the oat bin. Old Pha
t rloh's granaries. had he owned them
WOULD HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTED
/, long before the years allotetto the fam
Inc had passed away. Long before tn,
first Of April my barn loft was as clear
as a paclor door and the ordinary foun
da,iop Of my haystaek was plainly visi
bic. Disease. distemper. broke GU
among them. and that classic ailment
the epizoo, attacked my tw~o-year-olds
that did not know till then 4 word o
Greek. And this learned plagu,
produced The usual symptoms, an in
famed wiudpipe, a stiff neck and the big
head. 4 very knowing neighbor o
mine who never corrugated tHpto, tolt
me that my turnips had done the mis-
chief anil that they would sprout on
through various parts of the lank an,
~long-haircd bodies OF my colts if die
not change their diet, which | did; ans
| let him have my sock Of turnips Al
ten cents n bushel. in consideration Q.
] his advice.