davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
Sarcasm for Frssthinksr..

The Funny Man" OF the New York
Times has the following rare bit OF ironical
sarcasm:
For years our leading Freethinkcrs,
unless like MI. Beecher they happened to
he In the clerical business themselves.
have tried to warn the public against the
bands OF assassins and robbers calling
themselves clergymen or ministers, with
which our unhappy country is infested.
The public has turned deaf ear 10 these
warnings, aud the ministers have pursued
their infamous career without hindrance.
Now, however, that we have an authentic
list OF crimes committed by or what is the
same thing. charged by newspapers against
ministers, the latter cannot long contin.
ne their -nefarious practices. We must
have government commission 10 proceed
against them. and suppress them as CON
rletely as the British government commis.
sion proceeded against and suppressed the
Thugs. The public has right 10 be pro
tected. Are respectable citizens 10 be shot
down IN broad daylight by reckless minis.
ters, or waylaid aud robbed at night by
clerical footpads. Are our houses 10 be
broken into by gangs Of masked clergy.
men. and our railway trains to be thrown
of the track and robbed by parties Of
ministers on their way to take part in the
wild orgies Of conference? The Free.
thinkers will testify that lie aud property
IN this country are worth nothing so long
Ms clergymen aud ministers are permitted
to go at large, and we must look 10 the
Government 10 protect MS from such de,.
perate criminals as Bishop Potter. DR..
Dix. Dr. Crosby. and their like"
That Is very effective way Of calling
attention to the exceptionally high charac.
ter and pure living Of the ministry.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21


some patients. although quite able 10 IA
easy house work able in fact 10 perform,
} ths duties of everyday hic. aai 10 cseasn
J 10 games with appaennt sanity aai pro
priesy, are, when questioned found 10 Ia.
bor under the most extraordinary i.lea.
and iancies, which 10 any ono unac.n..
toned TO the insane. seem prcpn.,eroa.
and incredible There il no enl 10 The
ahsunliiy aud variety of these perverted
imaginaiions.
| mao VII converse With ,oa us,,e la
diligently on the leading articles Of 10
days newspaper, on The last budget. or
railway stock. and then suddenly inf,,,u
You thai his head is made of hrus AMI
that he has no inside. that 1t has an b,.e,
burnt out; and no amoun, of reasoning
VIII convince him TO the contrary. la
deed there is no more hopeless task than
TO attempt TO convince an insane per.on !, /.
the fAlsity Of his delusions lie beli.ye.
- firmly IN tho truth OF them as we do
that va live. His ideas arc tho coneom,
ian's OF strange and altered feelings which
have real existence; and until these fan.
cies pass away they are not TO be removed
by demonstration or argument. Some mn.
tients. though in good circumstances. will
imagine that they are financially ruined,
Others. OF the most blameloss lives, that
they have committed sins for which there
Is no pardon. and that they are eternally
doomed
Deiusions arc not, however, always o7 a
gloomy nature; on the contrary, ono of tho
commonest and most fatal forms OF insani.
ty are exalted delusions. There are pa.
tients exhibiting in countenanco and man.
ner feeling OF ell.being, q conviction
that they were never better in health. never
.v.o % p.aoe iood "a ia 'tiic iheir nm mouth on ac.
count OF increasing paralysis Their OK.
'ravagant notions know no bounds, One
will tell you that he is king. a marquis,
?. = ""~Nf ""gt o'su w titnts tut Al
mighty. AT one time that he is possessed
II millions OF property; at another that he
s going to tear down all London today
md rebuild it tomorrow.
He invents wonderful machines that will
make his fortune; he discovers perpetual
notion or how TO square the circle; SAYS
hat he has been Senior Wrangle at Cam.
ridge half dozen times running. Tho
sylnm in which he lives he imaglnes to b
regal abode. and the other patients cour.
iers aud mobiles; aud. "last scene OF ALL"
when health and strength are failing, aud
lie can hardly raise his hand 10 his head,
10 will tell yon that hc can write his name
N the ceiling with 900 pound weight
ied to his little finger. = C1an,b@'s Jour.
n.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
In South Africa.

There was something very Scotch about
that little stream below. There were the
occasional deep pools, the shadows, the
little plashing falls and stony bed, the
fern and the heather; and l felt inclined
for the memory Of the days Of auld lang
syne, to fix up q rod. and try to delude
myself with the idea that was throwing
for trout. There certainly ought to have
been trout there. 1t was o trout stream
with the trout omitted, like the play OF
"Hamlet" minus the Prince of Denmark
| hope before long some men who love the
old pastime will import the ova and repro.
duce in that part Of the colony the dear
old sport. Some attempt in this direction
was made in the eastern provinces, but /
believe it resulted in a failure, because,
owing to there being no one on the spot to
meet the steamer, the box containing the
ova was left uncared for and the ova we're
destroyed. II is hoped the next attempt
will meet with the success it deserves.
An amusing addition TO the scene was 3
troop OF baboons, who we're disporting
themselves down below within full view Of
the road. Mothers with babes ia their
arms, sportive young things. middle.aged
and elderly monkeys, oil very human, ev-
identity enjoying themselves in an intense
ly earnest manner, relieved by an occasion
Al summersault or sn attempt to tie double
knots in neighbors tail Only one took
the slightest notice OF u.s. lie was an ag-
ed counsellor Of watchful mien, with an
undoubted air Of command. At little
distance apart from the frivolous throng
and noisy chatter and gossip. he sat on .
piece Of rock, grasping the stem Of small
tree in his right hand. with contemplAt.
i've eye turned all the time on the strsng-
ers. Would you like TO see them mover
said the driver, and suiting the action TO
the word be raised and pointed his whip
at them like gun. One shriil cry, or
whistle, from the old vedette. hurry .
skurry, and in moment there was not 8
trace Of a monkey TO be sesn.s A little far
iher on we passed an old wooden tiger
trap which had apparently not been used
or repaired for years.
Some time ago atiger was caught
in this trap by new ssttler--a Seotchmsn
without the national characteristic OF eau.
tion. The beast had made havoc with his
sheep, and accordingly with view to put
stop to further depredations he baited
aud set the trap. Sers morning lie found
the tiger inside, aud. possibly bsing used
10 the sight of The royal Bengal tiger st
the geological Gardens. be felt contempt
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

At its dininu.ivcsiss, for ihese Cspe tigers
are 10 reality lecparis No, caring 10
waste charge upon tho creature. the colo
nisi grAspcd IL firmly by the tail, looscl Il
from the trap and swung !, In the air TO
dash It's brains ont against rock. The
beast, however. resented this treatment.
and sending its claws well home .oro of .
large portion Of tho back of the man,
shoulder, anil. while giving him wound
that he would carry To the grave. i'm.
pressed him with the strength of the .'poor
little cat, as he styled IL - Londca Esahi
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

TAKEN AT ms WoED A Maine grocer,
who had just experienced religion" &C.
knowledged that he had been hard sin.
ner. cheated customers by adulterating
l'is goods. etc. but being converted,
would repay any one he had wronged.
Late that night he was awakened by
ring at the door bell Looking out he saw
q man.
who are you aud what do you wsnt,"
he asked
I'm Bill Jones. You said tonight you
would rcpay those you had cheated. Give
me that 500 you have owed me 40 long
Cant you wait till morning.
NO; amt going 10 wait til then, and
stand 10 line all day.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

II have come in TO kill yon'" said
man entering 80 Arkansas nswspsper
ofiice. drawing pistol anl confronting the
e i,or, Yen pnblisbed al article deroga-
tory 10 my character. and il is my duty ss q
husband and father TO kill you" II am
laai of H." the editor replied. | WAS
just thinking Of committing suicide.
Well. II that's the case let's go down aud
take some thing" NOV yon move me TO
emotion" and the two deadly enemies wen.
on, together And yet SONS people are 10
favor 81 prohibition
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

Il There are few people who know what Al
,, important part the fiddle plays Ia South
ern politics OF course, the country q
large knows how Bob Taylor. tho boy Con
gresham from Tennessee, fddled his way
into office two years ago. and how he fail
cd this time because he thought he could
run on HIS brains rather than his bow.
Certain local people know how Uncle Jim
Harris, faAousfor his taking ways in Full
ion. snatches popularity from his fiddle in
our county contests. But there arc few men
who know how general and potent the
fiddle is.
Several members OF the present House
are expert fiddlers and iiddled their way in
to Office. Tom Watson, the brilliant mem
Der from McDulie, is the best fiddler in
the House He says:
II have tho best and most intelligent
constituency in the State, In my opinion.
MY opponent was good man and good
farmer, but was not praetised speaker.
! felt that speaking might bo considered
a sort OF natural gift. or due TO . profess
son-so ! didn't press him on that point
But playing the fiddle was . purely nc.
quired accomplishment, and incidental to
no profession, and as many OF my younger
constituents are fond OF dancing and like
the music OF the fiddle. crowded him on
that"
HE couldn't fddle!'
ooh. mol And you should have seen the
look OF silent despair on that good mans
face as be stood in corner OF the room,
while sat on box, Ikea king on his
throne, aud made my fiddle talk, while the
boys and girls dancod to my music.
made it a rule to get every girl TO prom.
Use to make her partner in the reel vote
for me before she would dance with |
him. l tell you fiddle is big help in
fight where you have young folks in tho
question.
"What tunes did you find most pop.
ular?"
''The best vote-making tune - said the
Hon. Tom, refectively, "that ever came
out Of fiddle is Mississippi Sawyer; next
to this think is yellow gal come out to
night"
Mr. Buck, Of Lumpkin, contests the
palm as fiddler. Beyond slight dispo-
sition to call his fiddle violin, ho is per.
haps as good as Watson. He says:
my constituency is quiet one and dc.
manded solemn tunes on the fiddle.
had to work therefore very carefully. One
ofmy constituents claimed that all. .fiddlers
went to the devil. The boys and girls
told me to play ahead and they would fol.
low the fiddler, no matter where he went.
That satisfied me. / found the miners
very susceptible to music and they liked
it lively and bright. As for country
break ak-down, where no man would think OF
cutting the pigeon-wing until he was
eight feet in the air. and where your pretty
girl partner rebuzzees away from you three
feet at a slide you won't make the music
too quick or too strong; II you've got the
right motion 70 your elbow and the right
twist TO your fingers and good rosin on
your bow. you ought to get every vote in
q crowd like that"
There are very few things that man
can do that are honest, and full OF fun,
that don't come handy TO him some where
or other in political campaign.
Atlanta Constitution.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

!, put my pride aside then, aud wroie
letter 10 Jacks father.
Jack and baby are both i'll. ! wrote. anS
~e are sick and tired Of this life rra,
| forgive us and lei Us como home
The very merit day the dear old gentle
mac arrived, but the ,sherifi was befors
him. Jack having confessed judgement Ia
law suit The rumor that We intended
TO leave the town got out and our credit
ors rushed in. ANXIOUS to secnre the lions
share OF our effects The brussels carpet.
the handsome furniture aud costly brio a.
brac all went under the hammer at q dis.
astrously low figure.
Never mind, said my fathcr.in-law, not
q shadow Of rcproach on his kind old face;
LET them squabble over IL II they will We
must get the sick ones home.
SO we got Jack into the carriage, and
with his poor hot head on my knee, and
baby in my arms turned my back on the
scene Of my shortlivcd triumph.
We are going back TO Cherry Hill. said
the old gentleman, as in the dusk Of the
golden day We drove through the dewy
stiffness OF tho sheltered land. '''rhc old
home has been waiting for you all these
months. I was pretty sure you would
want to come back
l could not utter one word in answer.
A great full moon was rising over the dis
tant hills as we reached the house. Not
the smallest thing was changed. The
great red roses bloomed on the terrace,
the bees droned in their hives, and the
cattle bells tinkled in the barn-yard. The
doors were wide open. We carried Jack
In and laid him down in the broad, breezy
room that had been our bridal chamber.
He opened bis eyes and drew deep,
lnivering breath as the freshening breeze
oucLed his throbbing head.
Nell, where are you? he said. Surely
his must be home.
l am here, Jack, Ianswered; and this is
old Cherry Hill.
Thank God! he murmured, and sank
,ack upon the pillows; and j saw great
ears trickling slowly from beneath his
losed eyelids.
Beyond the open window, in the silver
.lory OF the rising moon, the old grand
ather sat, with baby at his feet, half hid
len in the rank, cool grass and even at
hat hour the pigeons came fluttering
round her as Of old, and she screamed
nth rapture as she clutched at them with
er thin little hands.
l rose softly and fell on my knees be-
ide Jacks low pillow.
Oh, Jack! l sobbed, l have been so
1icked. Forgive me, Jack, forgive me. /
m SO glad to be at home again.
His worn face grew radiant and his dear
rms held me close.
Aud then and there. clasped to my hus-
,and's heart IN the sweet shelter OF the
ome he loved. understood oil the past.
You didn't mean it. Jack, | whispered.
,ou only pretended to enjoy it all to please
ne.
He es6,iled at me WITH his gray. fond !,
yes.
And. oh. Jack, our money is all gone,
nd
He silenced me with u kiss.
No matter little woman; the lesson we
ave learned has been cheaply bought.
We shall not care TO leave the safe old nest
q search Of fashion and society again.
l could not answer. heard my baby
ooing to the pigeons in the grass, and sat
here, clasped in Jacks forgiving arms,
he happiest woman the round world
eld.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

Mr.. Aieest kinssbsrs. kssns. n. H.. troubiea
sssh lad hsnu on hsads and psek. cKused by
iesd roisoIihg. tBsss painter Al times u
ffosn the fssk in large pieces, sureriune great
oontthosl iichtDE asG stiDxipe. Purchased your
rebssiiss, iced GUgIcpRA hEsulssxy intarnslly,
sHd CrTrcusA snd cpsIctxA eo4s externally.
and In less ihsp three months onsctxd com.
kisis cure, and bn bot been troubled since.
CmfotsrA.sd by Ballard a boster. Drusgss,s.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
MOTHER DIED FROM IT.

= ". Adsfna, hsuarks Ohio, says 'Cutifeu.
e ksmedass ere The greatest medicines ou earth.
hsdsh sonss case salt rheus, 10 the ooonty.
NJ mother had u twenty years. and in fact died
" u. ] believe CrTgcrRA would have ss,cd her
iifs. ny arms. tvcast and head sere covered
ius thrs< yssis. which nothing relieved or cured
until used the cnticcSa kesolvsnt blood puri-
externally.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

The delicious and only combination Of True
Ginger, Aromstics and French Brandy. essen.
tial 70 the health and happiness for every house,
hold OF traveller. Ia SAsFonDs GINGER. II In
stsntly relieves cholera morbus. cramps, pains
and Indigestion. breaks up cold. chls aud feyeTs,
prevents malaria and diseases incidental to
| change OF water, food and climate Be,edre Of
tositotaons said % BE- as good Ask for sAsroaDs
GikoEs, and take no other. BOLD everywhere.
WEEKS A POTTER Hostou
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
PSORIASIS

II. Il. Csrpeuter. Esq., Hsndei son. N. y. cur
cd of Psoriasis or L<prosy of twenty years, stand
Ing. by the CrricrRA HEsoIvExT internally. and
CuricuRA and cuTicuhA Bear externally. The
most vopdsrful case ON record. Care certified
70 before Jastioe OF the peace aud prominent
citizens All afflicted with itching and scaly dis.
easvs should send 10 us for this testimonial in
full
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21

A old maid 10 - isiun IA, bslHs.iii =
tl. ~hole Of her fyrune 0fssu,0J 10 the
Belgian army. bat excepting certain rsg
in.ntr.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
CA I A R R i
.slNFORD'S RADICAL CURE.

A single dose instantly relieves the most vio-
lent Snsezing or Head Colds, clsars the head
~ by magic. stops vatsry discharges from the
head. cures Nervous Headache and subdues
Chills and Fever. In Chronic Catarrh II clenses
the nasal passages Of foul mucus, restores the
senses OF smsll. taste and hearing when Affect.
ed. frees the head, throat and bronchial tuoss
OF offensive matter. sweetness and purides the
breath. steps the cough aud arrests the bro.
grsss Of csttarfh towards consumption.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
SALT RHEuM.

Those ~bo have experienced the tormen,s Of
sAit hheum can appreciate the sgony have eni
dnred for years. until cured BY the curicuaA Re.
.soLsKsr internally aud cuncuRA Soar external.
Iy.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1882-12-21
Mas, WIN. PELLl6ToN. sharon. Wiz,
C.J'iUT'II.'C'I.,U'RIlI,,.A!lI.,.. "a.

aud curicrRA Soar externally and CuricuRA he.
soLvSsr internally will positively cure svery
species OF III umor. from : common PimpJe to
Bcrofula. Price Of CprcuAA. email box V. 6Oc. !,
large boIes. 100. CUTIctn IA REsoLyrsr.
per bottle. CuTIouRA Soar, 25c, CuTicuaA SHAY.
iso Soar. i5c. Sold by all drnggists.
WEEKS 4 POTTER Roston
Daily Republican., 1882-08-21
the Late 3 eHa,Or Hill.

ATLANTA, Ga, August 19.-The re-
mains of Senator Hill were buried at
O'Clock this afternoon. The escort con-
sisted of the Atlanta Bar and the Sena-
torial committee. There was 10000
people assembled on the street to see
the procession. TIE remains were
placed in q lronze casket exactly like
the one in which President Garfield
was buried. At half past 10 O'Clock
the remains were carried to the First
Methodist Church under escort of 1Ol
mem bers of the Atlanta bar and COM
mittee of Senators, composed of Messrs.
Lamar, of Miss; Beck, Of Kentucky;
Morgan, of Alabama; Butler, of South
Carolina; Johnston, of Virginia; Pendle'
ton, OF Ohio; Congressman Petit
bone, of Tennessee, aud Brumm, OF
Pennsylvania. At the church the GER
mon was preached by Rev. G. A. Evans
after which the procession was formed
and proceeded to the cemetery. The
procession was made up of State and
city officials and other prominent peo'
pie. The streets were thronged with
people to the procession, not one-twen-
tieth being able to get in the church.
Mayor English acted as Chief Marshal,
with several prominent men as aides.
The pail bearers we're the most promi-
nent men in the State. All business
was Suspended, and the9most sincere
SORROW exhibited on every side.
Daily Republican., 1882-08-21
straw stack Barned.

The alarm of fire sounded from box
27, corner of Delaware ave. and DUPONT
street, at 9 80 o'clock this morning was
caused by the burning of hay stack on
the farm of Mr.. Dougherty, near St.
Joseph's church, Brandywine Banks.
The stack was entirely consumed. Sew
eral buildings we're in close proximity
but they escaped injury. 1t was cur
rently reported in town that St. Joseph's
church was ablaze and a number of per-
sons were fastening to the scene, when
they learned that 1t Y as only stack of
straw. A man named James McKen-
drick came into town in sulky after
the Friendship engine and hose carriage
and when at Tenth and Orange streets
he came in contact with large wagon
belonging to Mr.. Jamison, seriously de-
molishing the sulky and upsetting the
driver on the grourd. The horse was
caught before he had chance to run
away. Tie man picked himself up and
gave the alarm at the engine house
when the company proceedede out and
at signal station No. q an alarm struck
and the department responded but was
ordered back by the Chief Engineer be-
tore they had gone far.
Daily Republican., 1882-08-21
The COnSolIdatod lIlnstre Is.

There was q fair audience at the
Opera House last Saturday night to
witness the performance OF Thatcher,
Primrose and Vests minstrels. The
entertainment opened with an overture
of o2eratic gems, expressly arranged
for this troupe. This was followed by
some excellent singing by Frank How
ard, Hughey Dougherty and other
members of the company. In the first
ed ition of the first part of the pro-
gramme, George Edwards and Hughey
Dougherty appeared as end men, and
in the second edition their places were
filled by George Thatcher and George
H. Primrose. In the second part
Frank E. McNish appeared in his orig
inal speciality entitled "Silence and
Fun, and his wonderful contortions
we're calculated to give the audience
the impression that he was born with.
out bones, Hughey Dougherty was as
usual irresistible, and his stump speech
"a La Oscar Wilde" brought down the
house, Taken all through the per.
formance was excellent, and clearly
demonstrated that this company
stands at the very head If the minstrel
busin esS.
Daily Republican., 1882-08-21
Admiral N1cnoIson,s Derence

Rear Admiral Nicholson, command.
ing the European station, writes to a
prominent naval officer denying tn e
statement, that when the bOmbardment
of Alexandria began, he notified the
Egyptians, that ii ne fired on any Of
his vessels, he would return the fire.
He also d ,nies the statement that after
the action he steamed around the En-
glish feet, and oheered their vessels
upon their work. In reference to the
statement that he had landed marines
to assist the British troops, Admiral
Nicholson states that his men
were landed at the request OF the
Khedive to project the American Con-
sulate and TO assist in extinguishing
the fires that were raging in that vicin.
ity. He also says that his meu re-em-
barked as soon as order was restored,
leaving, no wever, just men enough TO
guard the Consulate.
Daily Republican., 1882-08-21
A Libel Suit.

The Baltimore American says that
W. M. GOldsborough of Cumberland,
through his counsel, A. II. Hobbs, yes
terday, entered suit in the Court OF
Common Pleas against Mr.. William T.
Croasdale, editor of the Day, claiming
$4,000 damages Goldsborough some
months ago sent out from Cumberland
dispatches to the New York Times and
other papers connecting Mr.. Price Of
that place with the Morey letter for.
gerry. His assertions in this regard
were fatty cOntradicted by the Day in
several editorials. The editor of the
Day also took occasion to express his
opinion of Goldsborough in very plain
language. Hence the libel suit.