Connecticut western news., 1882-09-13
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Expecting too Much-An Insult
 Bounced Out, etc.
From the Detroit Free Press


 
 From the Detroit Free Press.l
 "De man who expecks leas' of de world am de man who has de fewest complaints" said the old man as the sound of rattling hoofs died away in the hall. "De man who imagines dat | friendship will borry money at de bank am doomed to disappointment. My friend may lend me his shovel, but he expects me to return his hoe in good condishun. He may inquar' arter my wife's health, but it doan' foller dat kin turn my chickens into his garden. If am sick doan' expect de world to stop movin' right long. If my nex' doah naybur whispers to my wife dat he am willin' to sot up wid my corpse he am doin' his full duty. If am in want dat's muffin to de people who have plenty. If am in trouble, dat's muffin to de people who have sunthin' to re- joice ober. De world owes me only what can airn. It owes me room to pass to aud fro, space fur a grave, an sich a funeral as de ole woman kin pay fur an keep de bin full O taters. De worlds friendship reduces 8 man to rags as often as it clothes him Tn fine raj ment. De worlds sympathy blisters mans back as often as it warns his heart. De worlds charity excuses de crime ob hoss-thief an am horror stricken ober de stealth of loaf of bread by an orphan. De world promises eberythin' an performs only what am convenient.
 "De man who relies on de honesty of de public instead of de vigilance of 8 watch dog will have no apples fur sale. De man who pauses at each stage of his career fur de world to applaud or con- demn will become a foot ball fur all men to kick. Expect no friendship to las beyond the moment when you can help. Expect no sympathy to endure longer dan it takes fur tears to dry. Ex- pect no praise from men in de same trade. We will now continuate toward de usual programmy of business
 Penstock arose. He arose for the purpose of asking the President if he meant that his closing sentence should go upon the record in that form.
 "Am dar' anyfng wrong wid dat sen- tence?" placidly quired the President.
 CT doan' 'zactly like de word 'contin- uate, sah."
 "Brudder Penstock. de likes and dis | 1Sbou oF oro hu,,, bpo ;rI;u;J,ol :~, az. world doan' amount to shucks. When de Lime Kiln Club 'lects you as it's President you kin bring a wagon load ) of grammars an dickshunaries an his- } tories into dis hall an knock of de bal. ance of de shingles wid big words. Pen- stock, sot downr'
 Among the forty or more petitions ; on the Secretary's desk was the appli- ) cation of Rockerheel Davis, the eel ebrated colored poet of Louisiana. MT. Davis has composed songs and poems on 324 different subjects, ranging all the way from spring onions to fall angels. Several of his best efforts have been sent to crowned heads in Europe, and if not sung in palaces it is simply because of the traditional jealously ex- isting against Americans. Inclosed with the application was poem of eighty-two verses dedicated to (" Free dom," the first verse of which galloped off as follows:
 Den Freedom climbed de golden hill
 An waved it's golden banner high; An m oshuend to de culld man To pack his duds an quickly fy.' Under the head of Oommunica- ) tions," the Secretary announced com munication from Green Bay, inquirlng , if the Lime-Kiln Club was of the opin- ion that the sun was drawing nearer the ) earth. The Chairman of the Commit tee on Astronomy being absent from the meeting, the President arose and re- piled
 "I doan' keer to pass upon sich queshuns widout takin' leetle time to fink 'em ober. I'll sot down at home tomorrow an do some tiggerin' an con. suit wid de ole woman, an if I find dat de sun am off his base I'll see dat ebery l member has de news in time to get his cucumber vines into the back she'd" | An honorary member of the club al Springfield, Mass., wanted to be in 3 formed if the club ever heard of case 5 where clergyman accepted cal , where the salary was lower than the one he was receiving, but the President 3 decided that the club had no jurisdiction l in the matter and placed the communi cation on the stove.
 In voice full of deepest emotion, the ,, Secretary then announced the following
 R1DaEwAY, N. O., August 31.
 Brother Gardner
 .HONoRED SIR-Some time ago noticed discussion in the proceedings ? of your club to the effect that your hon : orable body was at loss to decide on a1 emblem. Allow me to suggest . 8 chicken retiring to roost, with Give 3 adam Jones's hand for background. l think this picture on the banners o | your club would look very handsome t and at the same time very appropriate : Hoping my humble suggestion vii @ meet with your entire appreciation, @ am very truly yours, OAL. NED GooDRENN. 3 Several members of the club were o1 D their feet before the Secretary had fin l. ished the epistle, and until Pickles Smitl 8 fell over stool and sprawled on hi 8 back it was impossible to tell who ha
 the floor. Giveadam Jones declare it that it was an insult which he woul @ wipe out in blood, and Judge Cadave \ | Hno fnx1i kn ol.-L: L. 4 L