davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

young idea how TO shoot. He is not him
sell gwen to shooting, however. He
takes more delight in the rod than the
gun.
The schoolmaster is not military man,
but his principal assistant is. The name
of his assistant is Corporal Punishment.
II is 20 be hoped that the corporal will
soon be remanded to private life.
The sChoolmaster is sometimes called
q tutor and occasionally he is called an
ass On the whole, an astutor man is
seldom found
The schoolmaster thoroughly under
stands the rule of three, but always in
sists on the rule of one. So you see his
understanding is out of all proportion to
his rule.
Although the schooln aster is ruler Of
| bows, he has his own ruler. If he be no
stick himself, his ruler always is.
| The schoolmaster is very inquisltive
person. He is always asking questions
| His is a question able calling.
| The schoolmaster can be found III all
classes. He is also given to classifying
knowledge. ! sometimes think | would
be in his classify could
/ The schoomaster is good at figures.
He would cut pretty figure II he were
not. He Is the figure head of the school,
or should be; but sometimes boy gets
ahead of him.
He is also good at spelling. He can
stand a long spell in good situation
without flinching.
He is always correcting the errors of
his pupils. and consequently has but little
time TO attend to his own.
The schoolmaster is not a man of war,
but he often employs a monitor lie
gets the monitor 10 see in his place.
Oh shun misbehavior children, or the
see of the monitor shall overwhelm you.
The schoolmaster teaches the a b {,
but he cannot make bee see.
Every sort of ology is taught by the
schoolmaster, but tautology is no better
coming from him than from anybody
else.
In a school of young rascals the school
master is always the principal.
Some schOolmasters are actuated en-
tirely by the law Of love-love for their
situations. Some entirely by hate-hate
10 give them up.
The schoolmastcr loves to have callers
at hi. school but habit has so possessed
him that he not only collars his scholars,
but also scholars his callers.
fused 70 wonder at the schoolmaster
during my schooldays bat my school
dazc will never return.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

rocky. and covered with thick growth
of brush and small trees The site of the
duel is ledge thirty-hve feet above the
water and eleven PAGES long. 1t is now
covered with thick shrubs. The old cedar
tree, which was a little out of range, must
have looked then very much as it does
now. The large stones that skirt the
ledge are covered with the initials Of per-
sons who have visited the place. One
large rock, in particular is said to be the
one BY which Hamilton stood when he
faced Burr's fatal fire on the morning Of
the llth of July, 1904. The exact spot is
inaccessible to foot passengers except at
low tide. There is no path down the
rocky side, and from above no residence
can be seen, which makes the place all
the more desolate. The place is soon TO
have monument to mark the exact spot
where Hamilton fell.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
Its Fathers Complexion.
Memphis Ledger.


Mr.. Blanket sat looking at the baby
with a wistful, far-oH look in his eyes
trying to think of the usual idiotic, un-
meaning and unmeant things that peo'
pie say about new babies, and at last, in
a spasm Of originality. remarked that
'the baby had its fathers complexion
Then all sat and looked at the rich car
dinal huos that made the wrinkled coun-
tenance of the unconscious infant glow
like mountain sunset, and nobody said
anything until feeble voice from an ad.
joining room said; at was a good thing
the baby had il naturally, then, as it re-
quired about fifteen years steady practice
and the co operation of three scientific
clubs and five political campaigns to ac-
quire it." Then a sad, quiet smile stole
over the room again, only broken by the
hard breathing of the baby's father look
ing at the thermometer TO sec what time
il was, while Mr. Blandet, feeling that he
could add nothing to what had already
been said, stole down the stairs, softly
whispering to himself about some old
fool but the company couldn't catch the
name, and the company didn't know
whom he meant.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
A W0NAN'S HARD FORTUNE.
An EI-Mluionaire Serving as n Hotel
Chambermaid.
Rockaway Cor. Pilt,burs Dispatch.

Rockaway Cor. Pilt,burs Dispatch.
"Do you see yon woman" ?" asks Brown,
pointing to a comely chamhermaid stand
ing in the doorway of the Atlas hotel.
She is perhaps 40 years old, and wears a
calico wrapper, gingham apron and white
cap; and yet, despite these badges Of SER
Witty, looks quite lady.
Eyes, your excellency."
"Well, do You know who and what she
is?"
"No, your excellenCy."
"Then listen while ! tell you. That
woman is cousin to a former president
of the United States, Martin Van Buren,.
Her maiden name was Van Buren,, and
she was born of good and historic fami-
", up in Schodack, Rensselaer, county.
Her parents intended her to shine in so
ciety, and sent her TO a fashionable
boarding school in Albany. There at
the age Of eighteen she began q Irritation
with a handsome young fellow named
Elliott. The Irritation deepened into in
fatuation. lie asked her parents consent
to marriage. They refused, wishing
her to marry into some blue-blooded
Knickerbocker family. But love laughed
at parental frowns, and the young people
made runaway match Of it, Not par
ticularly bad match, either, for Elliott
had a good deal of money, and was
smart, active and honorable young man.
"rhey went TO California. There Eli
oft speculated in mining stocks, with daz-
zling success. His wife caught tho fever
and speculatcd, too, She asked him for
81 900 to buy diamonds, but instead of
going to the jewelers., she sent to the ex-
change, invested in stocks. and in few
hours, in wild furry of the market,
cleared $4,000 So il went In year
they were looked upon as one of the
wealthiest couples on the Pacific coast.
They had the finest house and drove the
finest team in San Francisco, and were
noted from Oregon TO Sonora for their
lavish, princely hospitality.
After some years-many years--of
prosperity, a sudden change came. Eli
otis losses in a single Transaction were
reckoned with six figures. He was en-
gagged in tussle with the Bonanza kings,
and they were too much for him. Cost
ly silks and laces and furs and diamonds
we're parted with. Horses and carriages
were sold. Their mansion went. Then,
when all his property was gone, Elliott
was taken sick and died. His wife had
just enough left 10 bury him and bring
her to New York. Here her relatives
met her with open arms, but no. She
was too proud TO accept their bounty.
So there she stands to-day, chamber
maid
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
Mr. Trains Profound Thoughts.

George Francis Train sat on his &C
customed bench in Madison Square one
day recently, when Tribune reporter
approached to interview him on the
Egyptian war. Two little girls were
playing around him. Pfefacing his re-
mark with an explanation, the reporter
asked Mr. Trains opinion Of the eastern
complications.
Mr.. Train took out card and wrote
thereon: :" have not spoken for two
years."
The reporter started to take seat be-
side the philosopher, when with depre-
cat ~ wave of the hand Mr.. Tran wrote
and handed him the following; Not on
the same bench for eight years"
A long interview followed in which
the answers to the questions were.writ-
ten and handed to the reporter. Mr.
Train expressed a disbelief that the
Tribune would type his thoughts; con.
sequently he refused TO state whether he
thought Egypt should be for the Egypt
iaus or not.
al am outside the pale Of the press,
he wrote, "else why do | refuse $4,000
q year land cheers too ?"
"Oh, yes you will be typed" said
the reporter.
No; you lose time. can't be typed
in the Tribune. Ask any of the boys on
space or salary if tits not 3d."
Then he handed out card with the
following;
"IIow are you on psychology ?"
The reporter confessed that he was Q
little rusty.
Nobody understands am the uni
versal The press is individual You
ara but a telephone. l do not act fol
money or fame"
'The mighty public wants your views
said tie reporter, mildly.
Not for q. f. T., only silent man il
planet. You can't measure the Missis
7ippi. 1t cuts it's own channel. Canal
are cut by men. Are you psychological
The reporter said he thought he fel
that way sometimes.
II thought SO. Had you not been il
affinity you would not see these penci
tracks. Truth goes with truth"
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
The Girls are Good Enough.

We have often noticed that the young
man who shrieks most irequeAtly and
shrilly for an improvement in the char.
acter of our women both mentally and
physically, is usually little half.crank,
spindle shauked and lanterned-jawed
cuss weighing about 100 pounds, who
hasn't sense enough of his own to get of
the track when the cars are coming,
Let's have no more such nonsense. The
girls and women of to-day are a great
deal too good for the deserts Of the aver
age man. When you hear man growl-
ing about the depreciation of the gentle
sox, set him down as nincompoop.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
Fasting as a Cure for Rheumatism.


DR.. Wood, Professor Of chemistry in
the medical department Of Bishops Col
lege. Montreal, reports number Of cases
in which acute articular rheumatism was
cured bv fasting, usually from four to
eight days. In no case was it necessary
to fast more than ten days. Less posi-
tive results were obtained in cases OF
chronic rheumatism, The patients were
allowed to drink freely of cold water OF
lemonade in moderate quantities if they
preferred No medicines were given
DR.. Wood says that from the quick and
almost invariable good results obtained
by simple abstinence from food in more
than forty cases in his own practice, he is
inclined to believe that rheumatism is
after all, only phase of indigestion, tc
be cured by giving complete and con
tinued rest to all the viscera.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
Wonders of Broom Corn.

Broom corn is likely at no distant day
to revolutionize the bread stuff supply of
the world. 4 process has been discover
ed by which the finest and most nutri-
cious food can be made from the seed to
the extent of one-half its weight, and
leave the other half for making beef and
milk. The average yield per acre is three
hundred bushels, and in many instances
five hundred bushels, or thirty thousand
pounds, have been secured.
Nor does it exhaust the soil as Indian
corn, from the fact that it feeds from the
deeper soil, and assimilates its food from
a cruder state.
1t belongs to the same genius as the
sorghum saccharatum or sweet cane COM
monty known as sorghum, which as an
article of food is growing rapidly in pub
lie esteem
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
A southern Cure For Sunstroke.
n. o. Picayune.

SO soon as you reach your patient take
hold of him or her and carry or drag
him or her into the shade. Place the
the body in sitting posture, the back
against wall, with the feet and legs
resting upon the sidewalk and extend
ing in front of the body. Get ice-water
and bottle of some strong essence OF
ginger. Pour the ice-water over the head
copiously; never mind the clothes. Then
pour two or three tablespoonfuls of ging-
er in about half tumbler Of water and
make the patient swallow it quickly.
Keep the head cool by using a little OF
the ice water, and in case there is not
much of glow upon the body give more
ginger. If this recipe is promptly used
and fully carried out in every case, the
Board of Health will never have death
to record from this cause. 1t is no ex-
pertinent or quack remedy. 1t costs but
but few cents and half-hour or an
hours time Ginger is by far the best to
use, but where it cannot be had quickly
two or three good drinks of brandy will
answer
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
More than / 900 deaths are reported as

More than 1000 deaths are reported as
having resulted last year from accidents
in mines in the United Kingdom Of
Great Britain and Ireland. The average
such deaths during the last eight years is
one in every 464 persons employed. Fall
of rock from the roof but more particu-
lsriy from the sides of the workings, con-
tinues to be the most fruitful source of
these disasters; and there seems good
reason to believe that large proportion
night b pcsvsnted BY . sufficient pro-
~ q ftnbR sapportA
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

A New York lady of some wealth, but
dubious personal attractions, recently adj
vertised for husband. The first appli-
cant was a rather antiquated Hartford
swell, whose indignation knew no bounds
when told that he was head and half
too short.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

The Maryland legislature passed law
at its late session providing for the pun
ishment Of wife qeaters at the whipping
post. Up to this time no wife has been
willing to give testimony which would
brirg tho husband to the disgrace and
pain of this punishment. The usual
amount of wife beating has been record
ed, but the forgiving spirit of the victims
is between the brutal husband and the
Lash.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Mrs. Harriet Prescott Spofford, who is
slight and graceful, has fair complexion
and her curling hair has touch of mil
ler's wings in its auburn shades. She
chooses the night time for writing.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

The watermelon, says the New Orleans
Picayune, is much abused article of
food. When ripe, it is healthy enough
for those who leave of eating 1t while
wanting more. 1t is the watermelon hog
that is doubled up and punished by eat
ING too much.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Chantrey was paid $4,000 for his stat
ne of Pitt, $4,000 for Rendert Blair, $685.
900 for Watt, $4,000 for Grattan, $4,000
for Wellington, and $4,000 for Sir John
T. Monrl
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Hugh McCann, q laboring man of Al
bany, has been in the habit of sleeping
with his right arm under him. Tuesday
morning he awoke and discovered that
the arm was paralyzed, and the surgeon
tells him that it is doubtful if he ever re.
gains the use of il.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

The Pail Mall Gazette says Of Congress-
man s. s. Cox as writer, that he likes
to make correct classical illusions, and
that his style is too jerkey. 49,. .
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

H. 7. White, who is the author Of the
Chicago Tribune novelettes, which have
captured more than national notice, is a
graduate Of q theological seminary, and
was at one time sporting reporter. He is
grave and calm in his speech, and rather
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

An American soldier in Alexandria
was surprised when informed that the
drinking water had been cut of. He
said that he didn't suppose that he would
have discovered the fact himself
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

A letter addressed to Mr.. O5edient Ser
want, Custom House, New Bedford Mass,
reached the proper Office the other day,
it being reply to an official communica-
ton by person who mistook the scrawl-
ed autograph Of its sender for a flourish
under the name,
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Tennyson sees no one without an ap-
pointment, especially in the American
tourist season, when he retreats from the
Isle Of Wight to secluded little nook Of
Hamp6hire.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

EASILY PRovEN.-It is easily proven
that m-laral fever, constipation, torpid
ity Of the liver and kidney s, general dst-
bility, nervousness, and neuralgic all
ments Yield readily to this great disease
conqueror, Hop Bitters. Ii repairs the
rAvsges of disease by converting the FOOD
into rich blood, and il gives new life ard
vi,or TO the aged and infrm always.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

There are many and serious objections
to the exposing Of flash literature of the
blood and thunder variety on the news
stands of cities and country villages. 1t
should all be carefully filed away in the
Sunday school libraries, where the young
people will neverget hold of it.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

This is the time of the year when the
average train newsboy hands Harper's
or the Century TO the illiterate servant
girl, and the dog. fighters journal to the
travelling clergyman.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

"IIow do you like the young ladies yo
have justmet ?'' sweetly gushed the young
lady. "Do they look better or worse than
you expected 2" HIS answer caused q
change of topic. 'Pm not taking any |
have vet seen for better or for worse, if
my feelings are not deceived" was the
gruff reply.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
recently.

An Ohio physician dug seven graves
for like number of his patients, but he
was sent to an insane asylum before he
could kill the intended victims.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
Where Hamilton Fell.
Exchange,

Seventy-eight years ago Alexander
Hamilton and Aaron Burr fought iheii
famous duel at Weehawken. The scene
of the duel is desolate place. lhe
heights of Weehawken, under which the
duel took place, are l60 feet high and ve,y
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Searches for arms in Ireland are gene
rally fruitless. The weapons well greas
cd, are wrapped in what may be called
waterproof paper, and buried in titled
field, the owuer alone knowing the pre-
else spot, as a crop grows upon it.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

A local dinner to four at $50. per plate
exclusive Of wines, is exciting the aston
ishment and admiration Of Bostonians.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

The sport Of two Michigan boys was to
take younger playmate to the woods,
bind him to log. whip him cruelty, and
torture him with lighted matches.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Charles Brand, of North Vernon Co..
Missouri, is 96 years Of age, and his hair
has just returned to its natural color, jet
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Miss Fox, who sues Mr.. Low, of New
Orleans, for breaking his promise to mar
~ her. places her damage at 81.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

A national society for the suppression
of juvenile smoking has been established
in England, and the London papers are
not unnaturally wondering what its meth
ods of procedure will be.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Knute Knutson, noted in Northern
Wisconsin for the enormous size Of hts
feet, utilized them to kick wolf to death
recentlv
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Rubinstcin, it is said, has gwen up pl.
ano playing in pubic, and his only ap.
pearance hereafter will be as a director.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Little "niserP are coming into FASH
ion as pages in Paris. Their complexion
throws out the whiteness of their mis-
tress' akin.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

The Louisville Courier-Journal has SO
great dislike for orslang that it spells gal.
vanized galvanized"
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

"The Lord sends meat, and the devil
sends cooks" but.when woman's help
lights out in the middle Of the season
she wishes the old gentleman in black
would send along a little faster
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Twenty women Of Iowa have won Ice
cream by remaining together for an hour
without speaking word.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
CURRENT EVENTS.

Two harnessed crockodilos draw a
wagon in Atlanta.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

"Adironack" Murray lectured on
"Hades" in San Antonio, Texas, the other
day. lie declared the hell Of scripture to
be myth. lie probably knows. If he
don't he will find out sometime.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Married-At Cleveland, o., Mr.. Means
lhree feet and hslf high, to Miss Har
rison, three feet high.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Some great Dutch capitalists are going
to reclaim the Zuyder Zee. The dykes
will be stupendous.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

Persons who come TO this country to
settle are here called immigrants. In
their native country they would he spo-
ken of as emigrants.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09
The Schooima ster
BpSton Trausqrint

The curiosity that have to show you
to-day, children, is perhaps the most
wonderful in the collection. He beats
all.
The schoolmaster, it is said, trains the
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

as this crime?" asks the late Rev.
Mr.. Milne regarding his purpose to be-
come tragedian this fall. "No," replies
the Christian Union, at is simply blum
der"
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

The intesest ON the debt of New York
city at five per cent amounts to nearly
$5000,OO0.
The Osceola times., 1882-09-09

"IfI rest, rust" is German proverb.
'If trust bust" is the American ver-
sion.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-03-21
THOMSON,
General ManoqcT, i
ThgAsAINaToN d CHIC RAILROAD
W}NTEa ADVANCEMENT,

HSSiuHIuH CCtOp6r lC, 1861,
The MAIL TRAIN will leave Nsshinsh1
ss 8 70 a. II. and Alexsndria at 925 =. n
dslly, except Sunday; pasa Leesbur8, -gO1f
Westward, ct II &c s. %. snd arrive st Roulc
Hill ct II Is p. n. Leave Round Hill E! !? -
p. NJ; pass Lees 0Erg, gong eastward, at "
p a., and arrive ct AlsIandrIs 9: 8 l6p. T.
and ct WashingtoB ct 8 go p. III.
The ACCONMODATION TRAIN will lesVs
Washington at 4 ~ p. N. and AeIand'ls s.
20 p. n., daily, except Sunday, and srrl7e 81
Loesourg OF D AZ p. n. Leave Leesbuv2 s!6
m. and arrive at Alexandra at 8 Is S. IT,
and Washington at 8 900 m.
80 Passengers from Washington will !sss
the Washington and Ohio cars at tie Bsl:incne
&Potomsc Railroad station ate Da.m. and ~
r. r., and 90 through without change CT cs! Ss
The 9.25 an. tram from AleYandris srdll
e. m. train from Round Hill connec.a. houn9i
Hill with COS Il Z kT'S Dolly Line 60 o.
Coaches for SnickersTille. Berryville snd WIZ.
chester; also Redman's Line of Coaches. wnlca
Leave Leesburg daily for Aldis and A!daiT
burg,
Both trsins, westward, make close conIecI9..
M Vienna, with Siason' Line of Stages for FAIL
az Cour: House. -.
Communication tickets, "a eta pe- ELF
AREuaa saeke ss. 500.
+ Il. EAVEEER,
ocl4-sf General Ticket AgsHH
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1882-03-21
1882 GREAT 1882

- -
FEsNsYLVANIA RouTs
70 TEs NOEIH, VEST y SOUTHWEST
DOUBLE TRACK,
sG5EE RAILS. splendid SEENSSY.
EAGNIFiCENT EQUIPMENT.
In effect January q. 1882.
lreins isaTe Washington, tom station, co!rG
of Sixth and B streets, as follows:
For PllEburs and tho West, chicago Limited
Express Of Pullman Hotel and Sleeping U,m
o. 3 80 G. N. daily; Fast Line. 9 30 g. H.
daily, with Seaping Oars from Htrrisburgw
Cincinnati. Western Express 20 I'm daily,
With Palace Cars to Ei!tsburs and Cir cinnsli
Nail Eznress at 9 SO p. m. daily for pi!t.ou;s
and the West.
Baltimore and Potomsc Railro,d
For Csnsudsjgus. Rochester, Buffalo, fiassia
at o Gu 10. dsiIy, e1ceD, saturcsy. with Pal.
sec Cars to CanAndsigua.
For Wllliansp0rt, Lock Haven and E,mi!a 81
y 81 a. N. dsily. except Sunday.
For Neg York and the Eest, s co q. nc., 10 &a
NJ. So 80 and 10 70 p. N. On Sunday
80 90 and 10 70 q. N. Limited express Of
Pull man Parlor CLrs. 8 90 8. N. daily, eICe'.
Sunday.
For Brooklyn, n. Y, all tbrous h trains connect
st Jersey City with beats Of Brooklyn AnntI
sfordirg direct Transfer TO Futon st,es.
avoiding double ferrisge acro.s New Yors
City.
For Philadelphi.. sro G. m, 10 800. NJ, 49,
AZ, $50, and 10 70 p. m. On Sunday, | ~,
90, 8 81, and 20 y. m. L m!ed E1pres,
y 80 m. daily except Sunday
For Baltimore. 6 80, 8 90, 9 80. 1913 A. m, Ell
lSo. 70. 40, AZ, I 80, 60. and 10 70 H.
IN Sunday. SC0 $50 @. me-, l sc, 1919,
go. End 10 20p m.
For Popas Greek Line, 6 SO q. m. snd 4 41p n
daily. except sunday.
For Annapolis. 6 ~ u. N. and d p. IN d,I7
except SUNDAY.
ALEXANDRIA AND FREDERICKSBURG
HALLWAY. AND ALEXANDRA hND
WASaiEGTON KalLnUAD
For Aie1sndria CSC, I 20. 40, II % srt
II 70 q, NJ, 4 ~, s, 70. 6 % .1d II 81 p, j"
On Sunday at 6 SO, 8 70, II 20 and ii y a. II.
snd & % D. n.
For hichm ond and the South. 80 ara II IS r.
m. daily, and s COP III. da,ly, e1cep. SuGd;y
Grains lesr0 Alexandra. ior Weslin .l1.., ~
s.o5, S63, and 10 p. Ia; 1910. 8. s, Z al
go p. n. snd IL midnight. On Sundsy al
o., S SO, and III r.. N; 100 and 92J p u
Tickets nnd Information IT the office, Bo,!nsssl
corner Of 18th aud Pennsy lvsnia avenue, =nd Il
the station. where ordurs con be left FOX The
checking CT baggage 10 destination from ho.ei
and resij elces. J. Is. WOOD.
General Passenger Agent
FRANK THOMSON,
General Manager. iaz8