Connecticut western news., 1882-12-13
WITH HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM THIS WEEK.
American Fables-Didn't Dare Do It-Three TrOubles-The Battle of Waterloo
 Facts and Fancies, Etc.

~SNASA NSNNNe ~S~~A~ to sudden halt on Grand River street. and the woman dropped a basket she was carrying and called out; "I will! will I'll not live with you another day p
 "You1l leave me, will you ?" he calmly asked.
 "Yes, I will p
 "When 2
 "Now-right off-this minute p
 "You'll go away ?"
 "Yes, sir p
 ''I wouldn't, if were you."
 'But will, and defy you to prevent me <! I have suffered at your hands as long as can put up with it p
 "Oh, shan't try to stop you," he quietly replied. "I'll simply report to the police that my wife has mysteriously disappeared. They will want your de- scription, and I shall give it. You wear No. shoes; you have an extra large mouth, you walk stiff in your knees; your nose turns up at the end; hair the color of brick terra cotta, the newest ill fashion; eyes rather on the squint; voice partakes of-"
 "Wretch you wouldn't dare do that! she screamed.
 CT certainly will, and the description will go into all the papers.
 They glared at each other for minute like cats.
 Then he walked on. She looked mp and down the street, gritted her teeth to- gether, and then picked up her basket and followed on after. He had what they call the dead-wood on her.-DetroI Free Press. AMERICAN FABLES. THE WOUNDED Ox.-An OK who wa one day passing along the highway fell and broke his leg. In short time along came the horse, who halted and called out
 "Mercy on me but what has hap pened?"
 "I have broken my leg"
 "Too bad-too bad I assure you that you have my heartfelt sympathies.
 When the Horse had disappeared along came the Mule, and inquired:
 ''How, now, my old friend, what's thu trouble?"
 Broken my leg"
 "Dear me but that's unfortunate You were always an honest, hard-work ing OK, and I am deeply grieved tha
 this accident has come upon you" ..
 The Mule pursued his way, and tn next animal to stop was the Hog.
 "Hello What does this mean ?" h grunted, as he checked his pace.
 Broken my leg"
 ''Is that possible It isn't six month ago that you had @ lame shoulder, an
 to have this misfortune come upon yo is enough to discourage the best OK i
 the World. If you don't recover froI it, always remember that you had m warmest sympathies. .''
 After the Hog came the Goat, wh , halted at safe distance, and called out , Anything contagious ?" , "No; I have broken my leg." f "Oh, that's it? Sure it's broken?" I "Yes." 'And you'll probably be laid up fo 7 months even if the Master doesn :, knock you on the head and make beef ( I you ?" 'Yes."
 "Well, I'm sorry for you, and if yo
 happen to get well I shall be highly d'
 lighted" |"
 :, The Goat had passed out of sigl when along came the Rhinoceros on h f way to the pool.
 "Hello Whats up now ?''- he aske
 as he looked over the bank. Broken my leg"
 "Is that so. We'll, never even he n an introduction to you nor heard yol name spoken, but here goes to help yo 4 I'll get you up, help you home and s h you through as far as I can. It is sui o cient for me that you are in distress a1 II need help. Have you no friends? p q "Oh, yes. They have all extend' P their heartfelt sympathies, but left T
 lying in the ditch" q MORAL: e sSympathy, my friend," said the RI n noceros as he aided the OK to stand u I "sympathy sticks in the ear and lets t is stomach starve. Depend upon yo y friends no longer than they can depel t. upon you. Come, nowhere we go." c Detroit Free Press. 0 THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO. IT Brief but vivid account of the bat a of Waterloo, given by a Belgian: d "Well, as the Emperor was on horf }. back he noticed black cloud upon t 6 horizon, and turning to his chief of st g, asked if that officer could make out wh Id it was. e "'Sire, said the chief of staff, tho
 are the Russians ! 50 "'Send out a squadron of cuir of siers ? fe "They sent out squadron of ouir w siers, and that was the end of the R1 Ih sians. l. "Pretty soon the Emperor saw { le other black cloud upon the horizon. "Sire, said the chief of staff, 'tht E are the Austrians ? 30 "'Send out another squadron of cuir
 siers :! of "They sent out another squadron 'd cuirassiers, and that was the end of le Austrians. T, "Pretty soon the Emperor saw
 other cloud-a tiny black speck uI
 the horizon. l. "'Sire, said the chief of staff, 'th le ore the Reloians r