The Portland daily press., 1882-11-30
IN Y. rimes.I
A Patent w alter.
A Continuance for the Benefit OF Moral
Young Ladies.

There is widespread feeling among young
ladies that no girl can waltz with any comfort
unless she is supported by a firm pressure in
the region of the waist. 1t is a mistake TO sup
pose that the sex of the person exerting this
pressure is of any consequence in the mind Of
the walter. She does not care anything about
waltZing with young men-in fact, she does
not care anything about young men in any cir
cumstances-but she needs to be supported 10
order to be able to waltz. A girls arm is not
strong enough to yield the desired support,
and hence there is no satisfaction in waltzing
with other girls. What she wants is support,
and not young man, and if she could obtain
the former without the latter, she. would be
perfectly contented This opinion has been SO
forcibly and freely expressed by countless
young ladies when approached with their al,
legged desire to waltz with the young me D, that
we cannot ha ye the least doubt that it is liter
ally and strictly true.
Young men when practiciDg the waltz step
occasionally clasp light chair in their right
arms, and seem to find it great assistance.
This shows that, while young man must
clasp something in order to waltz, it is not alb
soluiely necessary that he should clasp girl.
Now, COULD young ladies Of the Methodist de-
nomination be supplied with some mechanical
continuance which would clasp them close
around the waist and yield them that support
which they declare to be indispensable, they
would undoubtedly be able to waltz as cheer
fully as the practicing young man waitzes with
a chair.
The invention of "McGonegal's Patent IRE
proachable Walter" meets precisely the case
that has been supposed; and it is indeed re-
markable that it should have been placed be-
fore the public in the very week in which a
sermon on the subject was preached. Indeed,
one can hardly help suspecting that the minis
ter was acquainted with, and perhaps interested
in, the invention, and took an opportunity 10
aid in its Introduction into serious families.
The Uncomfortable Walter" consists of a
stout frame of light wood of about five feet in
height, and remotely resembling an old fash
toned kite frame. At the top of the fr me is
padded "rest" for lady's hand, and at about
The middle of the frame is jointed arm, Ca
pable of being placed around young lddy's
waist and securely fastened in the position
with thumbscrew. The frame has two feet
furnished with castors each one of Which has
a universal joint, so that it can turn freely III
any direction. The whole affair weighs only
five pounds, and it is made to fold together, so
that lady can carry it in her hand with or
without shawl strap.
WheJ a fair owner of these frames desires to
waltz in peTfef thy unobjectonsbe way she
unfolds her ''irreproachable waltzer," clasps
its arms around her waist, and, putting her
hand on the rest" begirs to waltz. She finds
that the machine gives perfectly salts factory
support to her back, and that it revolves in
keeping with the movement of the waltz with
the greatest ease. No one, however fastidipus
can claim that the ''irreproachable watzer" is
Objectionable on tie score of morality, and, as
it never ,reads on any girls dress, and never is
guilty of losing step, it must be greatly prefer
able in every way TO the ordinary young man.
With the help of this new invention waltz
ing will be stripped of its present objectona-
Bile features, and will become popular among
the strictest Methodsts ard Presbyterans L.
is expected that it will be hailed with enihu-
sasm by all young ladies, who will be simply
delighted to find that they can waltz without
only value as walters is, according o the best
authorities, the support which they give TO
their partners.