The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-13

A noted physician says many persons,
simply by deep and rapid inhalations OF
pure air, can become as intoxicated on
oxygen as If they had taken draught
of alcoholic stimulants. Here is point
for the man who has been walking rap
idly home from the club in the night
air.
"When | came to town." said rich
broker, 81 hadn't penny of my own"
And have you now, sirp" asked quiet
faced man in the far corner of there
The broker didn't answer the question.
Perhaps he didn't hear it. Possibly il
was pain in the stomach that drew his
face down so suddenly.
Under the laws of the pilgrim fathers
a man could not kiss his wife on Sun
day, and after somewhat critical ex-
animation of portraits Of wives of those
days, we think the laws were eminently
Just, II not in the main lenient. The
pilgrim fathers should have been fined
for kissing such homely wives, any day
of the week.
Musical definition: A diminished chord
the cord of wood as sold by the I'M
scrupulous coal-dealer A cross relation
the average mother-in-law. A de-
ceptive cadence when the cats keep
quiet after you have thrown the boot
jack, only to resume again after YOU
have closed the window. ObIique move
ment-home from 1.-THE lodge"
Somewhat mixed: A gentleman who
had spent half the winter at ashington
endeavoring to get private bill through
congress, returned to the bosom of his
family sadder and wiser man. Short
ly after his arrival he was met by q
friend, who greeted him warmly with:
"Glad to see YOU back again. How about
your billP" "Bill-bill?" said the dis
appointed solicitor, confusedly, with
dim recollection of an encounter with
the hotel-keeper, II left it unpaid"
Said George Eliot: childhood has no
forebodings; butthen it is soothed by no
memories of outlved sorrow" You see,
George never had any children, and
didn't know. Where's the boy of 10
who hasn't the memory of OUTLYING the
sorrow caused by the old mans trunk
strap, when he put wet sponge in the
old mans boot that squirted water clear
up the old mans legP And hasn't the
boy forebodings when he thinks the old
man suspects him of putting tar on his
hair bruShp
The other day pompous little fellow
at a dinner table was Boosting of the
great men with whom he was on init
mate terms He was in constant cores
pondence with Longfellow, had lunched
with Tennyson, was in friendly relations
with the Prince of Wales, and, in short,
knew everything and everybody. At
length quiet individual at the farther
end of the room broke in on the CONVEX
sation with the question: my dear sir.
did you happen to know the Siamese
twins when they were in this country"
Our hero, who evidently had a talent for
lying, but no real genius, at once replied
"The SameSe twins, sirp Yes, sir, |
became very intimate with one Of them,
but never had the good fortune to meet
the other"
The other morning, says the San Fran
cisco eau, Chinaman made an exhibi-
tion on Montgomery street, near Pine,
which somewhat surprised the passers-
by. The Chinaman was going along the
sidewalk, minding his own business,
when Western Union Telegraph boy
threw a piece of orange at him and
struck him on the head. Returned and
chased the boy, who ran. At this point
ayoung man of twenty or twenty-one
years stepped up and said to the China
man, Let that boy alonem He received
in reply blow from the shoulder that
cut his upper lip and made the blood
fly. The blow seemed to stun him at
first, but he rallied and attempted to re-
turn the compliment. The Chinaman,
however, put up his props" in true
pugilistic style and looked decidedly the
better man of the two for moment.
However, another member of our super
ior race came up and struck the China
man, and his first adversary became
holder and got in blow. 1t was now
two to one, with prospect of being at
any instant six to one, and the China
man hastily retreated.
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