The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1882-06-13


behind the screen though sometime
he might he seen lingering about thu
entry or low GROCERY at the corner o
the block. On these occasions he va
often accompanied by an individual
possessing the most unmistakabl,
rascally face we had ever looked upon
Let our readers picture 10 them
selves
HYBRID BETWEEN AN ORANG oUTANG
and a hyena and it will give then
some idea of his countenance. Subse
quently we learned that the fellow was
Tomb's lawyer, which in a manner
justified his physiognomy.
Boarders were expected to pay uT
/ promptly at this house. We remember
a row occurring at the breakfast table
on the occasion of a defaulter taking
his seat before settling up for the past
week. After much verbal profanity
on both sides, the policeman attempt
ed to eject his lodger, Selling him by
the hair of his head for that purpose
They tumbled down stairs together and
into a fight at the bottom. Gun
landlord had the worst of it, nor
was he rescued from his antago
mist until his wife and ser.
wants came to his assistance.
The nose of the latter young lady sus-
tanned some injury in the conflict and
resembled a damaged tomato for three
DAYS afterward.
This damsel who was much hOrri-
fled on the above occasion, by the
DOCTOR proposition to amputate her
proboscis, might have been settled on
the extreme type Of Objectionable bid.
diness. She never
TOOK OFF HER CLOTHES,
washed, or combed herself or went
out of doors. Her intellect was not
equal to the comprehension of a single
request, and repetition confused her.
You might have sown potatoes in her
brogue, it was so thick. She would
have been perfectly contented OH an
exclusive diet of the skins OF her
national vegetable, and tobacco.
She had but a limited idea of cause
and effect. We have seen her fill a
stove with big Jumps ofanthracite and
apply solitary match TO the bottom
for the purpose of producing ignition.
Have known her to trim a lamp with
vinegar or what passed for it in this
house. An unfortunate pariiality for
smoking often brought her in danger
Of extempore and involuntary ig-
milton, as she was often discovered i'm
a state of slow combustion in conse-
quence of the presence of unextin-
nuished pipes in her pocket. We put
her out once with the contents of a
slop-bucket, which did't make her
dirtier. She also had several narrow
escapes from blowing herself up with
camphene, which we doubt not she
will fully effect; We shall read of it
in therapers some day
IN THE CEILING OF THE ROOM
overlooking the adjoining thorough
fare, large one containing four beds.
there was a trap door affording egress
on the roof. Here, on summer nights.
the boarders would assemble in their
shirt sleeves to indulge in beer and
small pipes-occasionally varying
those cOntemplative enjoyments by
pelting the cats with which the neigh
boring roofs abounded. Once they
borrowed fowling piece which, be-
ing loaded with small shot, brought
many feline Hirtations to a tragic con-
clusion. The victims, if obtainable,
were generally dropped down their
owners chimneys This subsequently
led to discontinuence of the practice.
Another amusement, introduced by
the doctor, met with great favor. 1t
consisted in standing by a window oD
Sunday afternoons and dazzling the
eyes of pedestrians or occupants OF op.
posite houses with the reflection pro.
duced by agitating looking-glass. A
gaunt carpenter and his wife Esprit.
ualists) actually invited a room full OF
friends to witness this inscrutable
phenomena. when. unhappily, the
secret was discovered in consequence
of over-zeal on the part of the operators.
No less than six mirrors, at an equal
number of windows, were in use on tina!
occasion.
Such were the diversions, and such
our experience of this boarding house.
May the reader never have to reside
in one.