Connecticut western news., 1882-08-16
SENDING A'TELEGRAM.
An Inexperienced Travellers Labori- ous Efforts at Composition.
From the Burlington Hawkeye.1

From the Burlington Hawkeye.1
 One man reached long arm over the little crowd clustered at the operators window and asked for "blank tele- graphic form," explaining that he wished to send telegraphic dispatch to his family" Now. when 8 man speaks of "telegraphic dispatch" I always wake up and look at him, be- cause the cumbersome title is all at ut- ter variance with the spirit of the tele- graph. It's too long. The use of it betrays the man who has little use for the telegraph. The more he uses the wire, the shorter his terms. The more nearly he can come to saying "msg" the more content he is. And he doesn't call it 8 "telegraphic form ;" he asks for "blank," black or red, as the case may be. And he never " telegraphs" anybody. He "wires" them. And he doesn't explain to the operator what he wants to do with the blank. Presum- ably he wants to write message. And as for the matter referred to in that "msg" and the party for whom it is in- tended, the operator will know all that he wishes to know-and sometimes much more than you want him to know soon enough.
 So l watched this passenger write his " telegraphic dispatch" First he asked the operator: "What day of the month is this ?" There was nothing unusual in that. All men ask that. 1t is. the opening line in the regular formula of sending a "msg." You may know what date it is before entering the of. Ace, you may even have 1t impressed upon your mind by having 8 note fall due on that day, but the moment you poise your pencil over the blank, that date
 flies from your mind like the toothache from dentists stairway. So when the man asked: "What day of the month is thls P'' I was not surprised. I courte. ously answered him, as a cover to ap. preaching his position, but he did not believe me. He repeated his question and made the operator answer. Then I knew he was very new at it. He spoiled three blanks before he got a biographical dispatch" written to suit him. But even that is. not very nnoom- mon. A man always uses stationery more extravagantly in another mans office than he does at home. Then he wrote every word in the body of the dispatch very carefully and distinctly, but scrambled hurriedly over the ad- dress as though everybody knew that as we'll as he did, and dashed off hls signature in blind letter style. as though his name was as familiar to the operator as it was to his own family. But even this is not uncommon. A man wlll.write Cunningham" so that no ex. pert under the skies will tell whether 1t was Oovington or Carrineton. or Cummagen, or Cnrrenton, and when the operator points to it and asks, "What IS this 9' tho writer will stare at him in blank amazement for moment, and then answer: ' Why, that's my name l' "Well, yes, know that," the operator will say but what is your name ?', Then the mau will gasp for breath and catch hold of the desk to keep him from falling, and finally shout t Why, Cun- ningham, of course l" and look pity- ingly upon the operator, and then glance about the room with a pained. shocked expression, as one who would say: "GentlemeD, you may not believe 1t, and I do not blame you, but heaven is my witness-here is 8 man who does not know that my name is Cunning ham y This is not unusual. Any op- orator will tell you that he has met Cunningham scores of times and has mortally offended him every time by asking his name.
 We'll, my tall man with the thin neck got along little better than that when he handed the operator the following explicit message:
 Mrs. Sarah X. FoltinSbee, Dallas Gen.
 tre, Zoa0o:
 MY DEAR WIFE:-I left the city early this morning after eating breakfast with Prof. Morton, live man in the temper ance cause. I expected to eat dinner with you at home, but we are delayed by terrible railroad accident, and I narrow. ly escaped being killed one passenger was terribly mangled and has since died but I am alive. The conductor says | cannot make connection so as to come to Dallas Centre this morning. but can get there by o'clock this evening, hate to dlsappoint you, but cannot help 1t. With love to mother and the children, am your loving husband,
 ROGER K. Fo1nINsBEn.
 The operator read it, smiled and said: "You can save considerable expense and tell all that is really necessary, I presume, by shortening this message down to ten words. We have no wire directly into Dallas and will have to send this message part of the way over another line, which adds largely to the cost of transmission. Shall shorten this for you?" "No, Oh, no, the man with shawl replied, "Tu fix it myself. Ten words you say ?' "Yes, sir" It was sumner, for fact, and the man heaved despairing sigh as he prepared to boil his letter" down to ten words, He sighed again after reading it through once or twice, and then scratched out " Dallas Centre, Iowa." as though ev- knew where he lived. Then he erased " early" and drew his pencil slowly through 'breakfast with" and 'In the temperance. Then he scratched over "dinner with" and went on to erase "and narrowly escaped And so he went on through the dispatch. Oooa- slonally he would hold it from hi in at