Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1882-07-14
The New Spoodendyke Baby.

tread that Shook the whole house,
"And so it's a girl, my dear"
Mrs. Spoopenkyke smiled family,
and Mr.. Spoopendyke picked up his
heiress.
Its the image of YOU she said. 70.
garding with some trepidatiop Mr.
Spoopendyke's method of hand linothe
infant.
4 don't see how You u AXE that ont
said Mr.. Spoodendyl e. pravelv, q
don't know when n y nose looked like
the thumo part of a boiled lobster
claw. Do | ur .derstand you that my
eyes bear ary resemblance to the head
Of screw. %
l Dean the general features, muir
ed Mrs. spoopendyke.
'The general features seem to be all
mouth, retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
examining his acquisition. IF our
general features are at all alike, my
vlsage mast remind you of an earth
quake. Hi. kitchee. kitchee, What
makes her fold up her legs like that :
She can't help it, reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke. They'll straighten out
IN time
"No time like the present. quoted
Mr. Spocpendyke and he took his
daughters feet and commenced pulling
her limbs. 4 don't want any handy
legged first in this family while I'm
at the head Of it,
Naturally the baby began TO cry, and
Mr.. SpooPendyke essayed to soothe it.
Hi kitchee, kitchee, kitche-ee- ee.'
he chirruped. Greet Scott, what a
cavern. Any idea how much this moxth
weighs? Hi kitehee. kitch- e-e. You'll
have to get that mouth rooted in be-
fore cold weather. What's tie matter
with her, anyway
Perhaps you hurt her. Let me take
her please pleaded helpless Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
She's doing we'll en- Jugh. Iii. you
Hold up. Haven't You anything to
catch this mouth ia: it's spilling all
over the neighbc,rhood. HI, Topsv.
Genevleve, Cleo patra, dry up, I'm 60
ing to have trouble breaking this
young ones temper. | can see that.
Here. bend the other way once, and
Mr.. Snoopea dyke tried to straighten
up his offspring without avail.
Let hsz come to NE. do, please.
moane1 lIrs. Spoopendyke, and NJ.
Spoopea'iyke was forced to hand her
over.
We'll, that's quite baby said he,
nErsing his knee cycling tue infant
w hat're those bumps over It's eyts
for: What prcponderaGce of intell-
genes do they represent
You mustn't talk So, demonstrated
Mrs. Spoopendyke. She's the hand
soonest child You ever saw
We'll, she's got TO stop biting her
nails before she goes any further with
this processes. Here, take your hands
ont of Your nlsath, cant You: Wy
don't you pat Your hands down:
'Wel,, Eli babies do that explained
Mrs. Sgeopendke. You can't stop
that
TIA going TO try said Mr. Spoop-
endyke, and don't want to bs inter
fer red with in bringing mp this child.
Here, you, Maud S. Bonesetter, put
your hands in your pockets, Don't
let me see any more nail-chewing, or
you and III get mixed up in an argu-
ment. She gets that from your fam
lily, Mrs. Spoodendyke.'
Say, dear, don't you want to 90
and order some things asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
No. rejoined her husband, L want
to see this youngster. Where's her
chin : Do babies always have thier up .
per jaw set right on their shoulders:
Kitchee. kitchee: Her scalp comes
clear to the bridge of her nose. l /
don't believe she's quite right. Where's
her forehead Great Moses? Her head .
is all on the back part, Say, baby's .
got to be pressed. That's no shape
Get away exclaimed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, Indignantly. She's a perfect
angel. There is nothing in the world
the matter with her.
'Of course yoa know growled Mr..
Spoopendyke. You don't want an ~
thing more than a fog horn and a
misspent appropriation to be an or
phan asylum. If l had your faith
and the collie I'd make a living as a
foundlings' home. She'll be Ole
enough to spank in week, won't she:9'
No, she WON'T said Mrs. Spoopen--
dyke. She'll never be old enough
for that
1'll bet she WILL grunted Mr..
Spoopendyke if she isn't she'll get it