davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
AN Old WOMAN,s ADVICE.

Aunt Rachel writing TO tho
Cincinnati Enquirer, says:
"When you feel unwell and
think you must take medicine,
for goodness sake get The 66St.'
II you need remedy that Will
mako you regular In your hab'
It's, give you good, natural ap'
petite, make your skin clear
and smooth and remove all spots
and blemishes that indicate i'll
health; II you wish 10 bo free
from mental depression, fretfal'
ness, peovishness, wakofulness
and other disorders, use
Browns Iron Bltters. II con-
tains no alcohol, but Will take
away that unnatural desire for
alcoholic beverages, and mako
your mind ana body healthful
and strong. ! know this from
pXDCrienCe,"
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
EDUCATIONAL.

CPnNoERIAN BUSINESS ooLLBon, LIN
y coin Hall Building, cor. 9th and ID SITS. Day
and evening sessions for the education OF sons and
daughters, and men and women for selfsupport
and real life. The branches taught are the Eng
llsh Language; Business Arithmetic; Spencerian
Practical PenmRnship; bookkeeping, by single
and double entry, adapted TO every variety OF
business; Business Practice, Wholesale. retail and
banking, employing the methods OF accounts,
business papers and correspondence adopted by
leading business houses Physical and Vocal Cul.
ture; Political Economy; Commercial Law; Busi-
ness Ethics. Special departments in Elocution,
Pbonography, and Drawing, in charge of best
masters. College open August % for the recep-
tion of students for the year, day or evening.
TUITION
BY the year, In monthly installments OF sl0....t0
The quarter, twelve 20
Year scholarship for day or evening,.."....... 80
Evening tuition three months iS
one mOnth........ u
The new handsomely illustrated College An.
nouncement, containing iuli information, sent
office. HENRY q. SPENCER, Principal.
SARA A. SPENCER. Vice Principal my1
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
DIED.

sTooPs-sept, %, 1882, at 4 80 n. M, OF con.
gestiye chill, Richard Stoops, age n years, .
months and IL days, beloved husband Of Mrs,
Ann Stoops.
Funeral from his late residence, 103 II.
street northwest, Monday at A O'Clock p. M
Relatives and friends are invited to attend.
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
A. Strauss

will be open for business at O'Clock this
evening, ana Will exhibit his hno stock OF fall
and winter clothing. Purchasers are cordially
invited TO call and examine his superb stock.
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
DRoPosALS FOR LAYING SEWERS IN
Il THE CITY OF WASHINGTON, ID. q.

OFFICE OF THE ENGINEER COMMISSIONER,
WAsHINGTos, ID. c., Sept. Is, 1881,
Sealed Proposals will be received at this Office
until IL o'clock m. on Wednesday, the 9th day of
September, 1882 for constructing and laying brick
and pipe, sewers in the city Of Washington, Dis.
trict OF Columbia,
Blank forms of proposals and specifications can
be obtained at this Office upon application therefor,
together with all necessary Information, and bids
upon these forms will alone he considered.
The right Is reserved to reject any and all bids
or parts of bids.
BY order OF the Board of Commissioners, d. q.
q. j. LYDECKER,
Major OF Engineers u. y. A.,
spi96t Engineer Commissioner ID. g.
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
FINANCIAL.
To.day,s stock quotations.

The following observations OF the transac
uons in the financial market to-day, together
nished by tho banking-house Of II. d. Cooke,
1r., Il Co., 1929 street, Washington, D. O.;
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
" "Aidcrncy Dairy wagons"

Fresh Alderney Butter, churned every morn
ing and delivered In X lb. "Wdrd" prints, doc.
per d. Also, cottage cheese, buttermilk and
sweet milk, DC. per at. Dream 1bc. pint.
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
=" Temperature and tainraII.

The Following specIaI temperatures were re-
ported ut z this mornings Eastport, 50o;
zoe; Cleveland, 80; Alpcnn, d5o; Duluth,
41o; 81. Paul, 3So; Denver, d60; San Fran
cisco, 55o.
inch OF rainfall during the past twenty.four
hours: Boston, 3.i5; Portland, Me-, 1.65; Al
bany, 2.23; Baltimore, 203; New York, lob;
Now Haven, 1.20; Mt. Washington, 1.72; Phil
adelphia, d.7S.
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
Nominations for Congress Yester-
uuY.

day.
Michlgan-The Democrats at wyandotte nom.
mated William q. Marbury.
Wisconsin-Third District, s. d. Hastings,
prohibitionist.
New York-At large, General Henry W. slo.
cum, Democrat,
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
Washington stock Exchange.

The following are the closing quotations of
tho Washington Stock Exchange to-day:
D. cBoNps Bid Ask d RR. STOCK. Bid Asked
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23
THE EVENING CRITIC.
FsTA BI,IsHED AUGUST 1858,
WEATHER INDICATIONS.

Tho special bulletin issued from tho Signal
Once to-day says:
Tho Indications arc that fair weather Will
prevail to-day and tomorrow In all districts
except New England and tho Middle Atlantic
States. Light frost Will probably occur TO.
night In Northern Illinois, Wisconsin and
The Evening critic., 1882-09-23

Notwithstanding the Extraordinary Cost OF
this Immense Show, the Prices OF Admission
will remain as usual: 90, 30, 10 and 10 cents
BOX seats, 81; entire box, %.
Matlnees TUESDAY, THURSDAY AND SAT-
URDAY.
Performance commences at n. m. sharp.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
A Bapii Minister'S Experience

am a ,ptist Minister, and tefore even
thought OF be nc clergyman graduated In
medicine, but left II lucrative practice lOr
my present profess on forty years ago. l
was for many wears n sufferer Ion qunsy
THOMAS ECLEcTRIC OIL cured me" / W IS
also trOu led with hoarseless, ana 1hom 4
L lectric Oil always Level nae. bly, wi g
and chilli hal diph heria, and "Ihomas' Ec-
lectr c Oil cured them and il taken II me
/ viii cure seven times ou5 of ten. m
confident it i IL cure Tor the most obstinate
cold or cough, and if any one will take a
sn all teaspoon and half I'LL it with the Oil,
ami then place the end OF the spoon i'll one
nos;ril and draw th o out of the snoOn IN
10 the head by snifting IS hard as they can,
until the Oil allS over into he throat, and
practice that twite a week don't care now
offensive their head may lie, it will clean 1t
oat and cure their catnrrA For deafness
and earache 1t has done wonders to MY GER
tain knowledge. It is the only medic ne
duIied paten me Il c,ne that / have ever
felt like Recommend no, AMI am ye'y INK
ions 10 see in try pace, for l te you
that won d not be W thout 1t in my no ;se
for any consideration. / am now suffering
with u pam ike rntulna ism in nv right
limb :. I'd nDLhinr :A,--yeS ne like Thomas
Ict, ctric Oh D. q nASE CDrrS, Pa
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Take Down Your SIGN.

Gilhooly strolled into Nose Schaum-
burg's store on Austin Avenue, and,
after looking around he said to Nose,
who, rubbing his hands, asked him
what he wanted:
"Will You be kind enough to bring
me glass Of beer, some fined beefStealI
with onions, some fried potatoes, and
some boiled cabbaSe?" replied Gill
hOolv.
"Mishter Gilhooly, mine store wash
not restaurant
What the - have I got to do
Nth that You have got up sign
there that reads, If you don't see what
YOU want. ask for it. want some
grub. don't see it, so ask for it, and
instead of bringing on the grub, YOU go
10 telling me what your occupation IS,
as if ] cared a cent Why don't YOU
;ake do" ii your sign?"
When last seen, Nose was standing
in thoughtful attitude i'll front of that
sign, absorbed in profound contempla-
tion.-Terds SVtings.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
True Friendship Only In True Heart.

There is, indeed, great deal of in
gratitude and great deal of injustice in
the world, and vet love is thing SO dis
eliminating, so free in its choice, so in
capable of purchase, or bribe, or bon
dage, that I believe it is very rarely, if
ever, permanently misplaced, or finally
withheld where it is really merited.
True affection as naturally flows toward
the excellent and amiahle, and as nat
urally avoids the mean. tie selfish, the
illnatured, as water escaping from the
harsh and rugged rock rests not till it
reposes in the fiowery bosom of the val
lev. We do, indeed. sometimes see i'll
judging people lavishing their admira-
ton on persons of superficial virtues
and great professions; :; but in the sequel
even those will be compelled to own
their mistake, and acknowledge the
superior worth of the modest, nnpre-
tending, consistent, benevolent char
acter If / were about to make choice
of particular friend among & number
of persons, should not be guided by
their conduct and professions to me,
but bv their behavior in their own
families anG among their old friends.
A person who sustains one relation
we'll will not fail in another. I should
be quite sure that dutiful, attentive
daughter, kind, disnterested, and
self-denying sister would make a good
friend; Oh the contrary, no attentions or
professions TO myself could. induce me
to believe that an individual who failed
in these relations was capable of disin-
terested and faithful friendship.
should fully expect that as soon rs the
novelty of our intimacy was worn off,
the first time an interest OF inconven-
ienca happened to clash, 1 should ex-
perience the same want of kindness
and generosity as L had witnessed in
the case of the others.-Jane Taylor
The conservator., 1882-11-18
The BOstOnian's Church.GOing HOnr.


1t has been repeatedly suggested that
the hour for morning church should be
II o'clock instead of 10 80. But no one
acts upon the suggestion, and congrega-
tions continue to drop into their sittings
long after service has commenced. Be
cause church has begun at 10 30 since
all time, there is prejudice among
good people to stick to the original
hour, and do as their forefathers, be-
ginning their worship early, and getting
through with it. Now, II a. m. may be
called Christian hour for chuch
Nine o'clock breakfast is digested by
that time, the Sunday papers read. the
last touches put to the children's toilets
by proud mammas, the cook and house
maid respectively interviewed. All
this accomplished, the heads of the
house may then safely repair to the
sanctuary with a clear and undivided
attention, to get all the good they may
from the service and sermon. Let any
one but an idler draw the contrast be-
tween such state of things and the
hurry incidental to our present church
going hour. If we are not mistaken, II
o'clock is the regular hour in England
and, with some few exceptions. in
American cities, while Boston continues
to retain its puritanical notion, and
hangs on by its teeth to 10 80, just as it
did to the ringing of the 9 o'clock bell,
which was supposed to be the signal for
instantly going to bed. The 8 o'clock
ringing has been abolished, as being a
little too provincial, and now, why will
not our pastors and masters give an
other proof that the world moves by
conceding this extra half hour for the
church-goer's preliminaries ?-Boston
Saturday Evening Gazette.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Chsrlatans and Quacks

Have lorg piled their vocation on TIE suffer
ing pedals of the people The knife has pared
to the quick; caustic applications have tor
mented the victim of corns until the convic-
tion shaped itself-there's no cure. PUT
MANS PAINLESS Corn EXTRACTOR proves on
what slender basis public opinion often
rests. Ii you suffer from corns get the Ex-
tractor and you will be satisfied. Sold every
where Wholesale, Lord, Stoutenburgh &
Co., Chicago
The conservator., 1882-11-18

The British postal statistics for the
wear ending March 81, 1882, show that
the gross revenue of the Postotsice De
partmont for the year was 49,U2S.314,
and the expenditures f5o2I .699-ieav-
ing a net revenue Of 93,l0O,475, Or over
&15 200 600
The conservator., 1882-11-18

LIEN. UGLETHORPE. the founder Of
Georgia, used to tell of a missionary
who. fattering himself that he had
thoroughly imbued an American Indian
with the right spirit in which TO take
the Lords Supper, sad: DO you
lot feel mental comfort, all inward
-etcesh,nent from that holy cup?" 1T
is very good" said the promising prose
lyte, "but," with smile, "rums bet
ter !"
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Personal To Men Only

The VCLTAIC BELT Co., Marshall, Mich. will
send Dr Dve's Celebrated Electro-V Voltaie
Belts and Electric Appliances on trial for
thirty days 10 men,(young or old who are
and comDlrte restoration OF health anu man-
" vigor Address rs above n B.-No r!sE
is incurred as thirty days trial is allowed
The conservator., 1882-11-18

DE- WNCHELL's TEETHlNG SYRUP 1s Just
the medicine for mothers to have in the
house for the children. 1t will cure colds,
coughs, sore throat, and regulate the bowels
Do not fail to give it a trial, you will be
pleased with its charming effect Sold by al
Il fruig+S
The conservator., 1882-11-18

For DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression of
spirits and general debility in their various
forms; also as a preventive against fever and
ague, and other intermittent fevers, the
"Ferro- -Phosphorated Elixir of Calisaya,
made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York,
and sold by all druggists, is the best tonic;
and for patients recovering from fever or
other sickness it has no equal
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Language Cannot Describe 1t.

Mr.. Robert Gould, bookkeeper for Walker
& Maxcy, who are lumber dealers, recently
said to our representative: About one year
ago was taken with the genuine sciatica. I
employed the best physicians, but they could
only relieve me for the moment. Finally
used ST. Jacobs Oil and it effected a com
plete cure "-Kennebec Reporter, Gardiner,
Nc
The conservator., 1882-11-18

Mr. R. v MURPHY, of Falmouth, Ky,
WI tes: Il wou Il sooner do withoul nv to-
bacco than di>psn W tn DE-. GUYS tt Iel-
low Dock anu SaI sapaIllia Nj, SELF, WI G
and little ones use t fol colds, coughs h ad-
aches. indigestion, etc Whenever We don't
lust feel W Ell, we use it. and it a." - zoe.
The conservator., 1882-11-18

The Chinese must 60 and all Americans should
go-and buy bottle OF Carbollne, the deodor-
lied petroleum hair renewer and dresser. Since
the recent improvement. no preparation ever
had such sale or gave such general 'atsfac-
tiou al Cprbolne. Sold by AL druggists.
The conservator., 1882-11-18

COMMON COLDS NEGLECTED cause one
half the deaths Consumption turks in every
cough, often using as mask the ruddv cheek
and sparkling eye till its deadly seeds are
deeply planted in the system. E1LERT's
bronchial complaints, and ward off cOnsump-
tiop
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Free to Al Ministers of Churches.

will send one bottle OF White Wine OF Tar
Syrup, gratis, To any minister hat will recon-
mend 1t to his friends after giving it fair
test, and it proves satisfactory tor coughs,
colds, throat or lung diseh-es
DR. C. d. WARNER, Reading, Mich
The conservator., 1882-11-18

SAID an old gentleman. patroniz ngly, to a
bright little fellow: BE a good boy, my
little man and you may be President" :" Yes,
I may be-" the wide-awake youth replied,
but you don't want to gamble on it, Gin
cia7t4E ,S4turdQu NiQtt
The conservator., 1882-11-18

B,oMn n" Browns" alr Not s' Very w Ven; Inn Just
alive" Fogg-"Tm sorry to hear is.'
Blown wou Il give some hing b .ndsome to
know Just what to5g was sorry for.-Bosio~
IfuHyY'tDt
The conservator., 1882-11-18

sAIo nigh policeman when about dusk
he was invited TO drink a cup of coffee: NO.
thank vow; coffee IL c : me awake all night "
Then h saw his .lunder looked very en-
brrlassod and tried to explain, but it was no
The conservator., 1882-11-18

UNCLE SANS CONDITION PowDEhs should
be used by every one owning Or having
the care of horses, cattle, hogs or poultry
1t improves the appetite, promotes the
growth, and restores the sick Sold by all
druggists
The conservator., 1882-11-18

II is le1rned THAI - .. GO bushels of corn
is converted into wE.r>y everg wear. This
sta ement goes against The grain of everv
one who thinks the gs of this country don't
ge. enough. The whisky pig gets the mo III
probably. because it is still.-PAtsbAgh Tttef
The conservator., 1882-11-18

"How ARE vo tn morning, Colt?" in
qulr. is comp MON. ooh ". got sore
taroat he re lied Then you us b.. u
il h r>e, chu- |, d his ia"ctious fri nd,
as Colt tr tt d Down side street.
The conservator., 1882-11-18

"MADANE," he 81 q, sorrow III v Il sha |
nevs'r D 20 ing again. "NO," she replied,
regarding i'm with d cynica expression,
when nlturt makes a III stake she move re-
reat' the experiment with the same mate
The conservator., 1882-11-18

NINE prr c II. o luI & al ;at,S I &C me
c ers> m Il, an Gui lippin ups deNa As,
e ggates andh ny bI bIickoats tn ou4 h
60 ouG into the world and whooper up.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Virtue icknOW. t.,Ired.

Mrs. Ira Mulhol and, Albany, n Y, writes:
sFor several years have Suffered from Oft
recurring bi ions headaches, dys 'epsIa and
complaints peculiar to my sex nee using
your BuRDocK BLOOD BITTERs am entirely
! relieved Price 81.
The conservator., 1882-11-18

AIADY who had invited small company
to palsimonious dinner was apo ogiIng or
th, hicnen and said she regretted having
M, time to staff it Its tough enough as lt
is, assure you, responded a guest, unex-
The conservator., 1882-11-18

Mr.. GAIL B. JOHNSON, business mana
ger of the Houston, Texas, Post, has used
St. Jacobs Oil with the greatest benefit for
rheumatism, says the Galveston, Texas,
Ne1ea
The conservator., 1882-11-18

"CAN you tell me- tile girl, why we ray
for ur daily bread?" asked an Austin Sun
dav- chool tea her OF cne of her pupils.
@Bacause the bread would get sta e ii we
didn't get it every day. "-Trs.ts S;tiing&,
The conservator., 1882-11-18

WY is man ringing a be for an au ii n
like church soliahlc? One makes noise
to get money, anu tue .t..er makes an oyster
get money
The conservator., 1882-11-18

SAID the rich and quiet loving cit zen: IF
man bores me, and | don't Ike him and
want him to keep away from me don't
snub Il III l jusG lend him s. o"-Boston
The conservator., 1882-11-18

4 >CdoOL-TrACHER is Il person emp'oyed to
give arcnts five LOurs OF peace and quiet
ter day
The conservator., 1882-11-18

BL0TwSG-pAPER VAS in use, by that
namn so far back IS 1885. The use Of
sand lasted up to the end Of the last
century in England, and still obtains in
Italv
The conservator., 1882-11-18

No MATTER how loose an engagement
ring may be- the diamond never 81 ps
around on the inside of lady's finger
Puck
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Five Thousand Letters

Have been received by proprietor of the
White Wine of Tar Syrup, from parties claim
ing to be cured of consumption by its use.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
JSucllu-paiba."

Quick, complete cure ali annoying Kidney
BIa der and Urinary Dis ases ST. Druggists
For THICK HEADS, neavy stomachs, b ,lious-
nees-WsI,' May Apple Pills lCc and &c
The conservator., 1882-11-18

To GET up din er Of great variety, COOKS
should be allowed awlde range
The conservator., 1882-11-18
TRY the new brand, Spring Tobacco.

A. Arue the men who have been driven
c azy by IN ST prtune did not have to go tar:
The conservator., 1882-11-18

H. T. TRYANT's Ch cago Business College
is the Young mans best stepping stone to
nnlnedla e u-efuness.
The conservator., 1882-11-18

srRAIoHTEN your old boots and shoes "i'n
Lyons Heel Stiffeners, and wear them again
The conservator., 1882-11-18

THE u. s. Government are using large num-
bers of The Improved Howe Scales Borden
SeIleck Co, Agents, Chicago.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
TWENTY HOURS TO LIVE.

A sTATIsTICIAN has estimated that court
shil average three tons OF coal each
The conservator., 1882-11-18

Old fashionable remedies rapidly giving ground
before the advance of this conquering specific. and
old-fashioned ideas in regard to depletion means
of have been quite exploded by the of the
great renovant, which tones the system, tranqulZes
the nerves, neutralizes malaria, depurates and
riches the blood the liver when dormant. and
promotes regular habit of body.
For sale by all Druggists and Dealers generally
The conservator., 1882-11-18

From John Kuhn, Lafayette Ind who announces
that he is now in perfect health" have the follow
ing: One year ago was to all appearance i'll the last
stages Consumption. Our best physicians gave Iny
case up. finally got low that our doctor said
could not live twenty-four hours. My friends then
purchased bottle of DIR. VA. HALL . BA1SAM FOR
THE LUNGS, which considerably benefited me- con-
tnued until took nine bottles. am now in perfect
health having used no other medicine
The conservator., 1882-11-18

DIR. DEWITT C. EELLINGER'S LINIMENT is an in
fallible cur, for Rheumatism. Sprains Lameness and
Diseases of the scalp and for promoting the growth
of the Hair.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
1T HAS THE ONLY
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT TAkE.UP
EVER INVENTED,

as it is automatic, flexible, adj
Unstable and positive, enabling
the machine to sew from the
thinnest to the thickest ma
terial without alterations or
adjustment, which no other
Sewing Machine will do. In
fact it's performance is the
nearest possible approach to
human intelligence.
The conservator., 1882-11-18

(tHkt~rHAS AND NEtT YEAR CARDS.
~ Frngei aud plain, choice. nov pltterns. for Sun
q E-;ciouI> and home gifts t'. - 81 Al rtSs
DAVID &. Co Il. al Adams Street. Chicago. Ill.
The conservator., 1882-11-18
Rubber MARIE STAMP,

With business and address. $50 complete with ink
ana pad, by mail on receiptot price: Co per Linen
Marker, 81; Rub er, G0c with indeible ink
j. .GOLDSBOROUCiH, 120 Chestnut St. PhiIa
The conservator., 1882-11-18
ITS Capacity FOR SPEED AND ron 4 LARaE
RANGE OF SEWING Is UNLIMITED.

It is made from the very
best material known to sci
ence. Its Shafts, Needle Bar,
Presser Bar, Presser Foot,
Hemmer, Screws, and all small
"parts'' are made from the
best of steel.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1882-06-16
Fifteen Million Dollars an
a ere.

New York correspondent states that
in the more common streets Of New York
land is worth from $3.50, 600 to $3.50 900
per acre. In the best part of Broad way
it's value is increased to - 600 600 per
acre; but in the vicinity of Wall street
its value is immensely increased, because
this locality is the money heart IF Amer =
ca The land on the Drexel building
stands cost its present owners at the r .te
Of sI4 coo 900 per acre 1t occupies the
corner Of Wall aud Broad streets, which
may be considered the most valuable corr
ner on this cOntinent-anl yet. when
WAS Broad street clerk in 1870 this
very place was occupied by hat store
The corresponding value OF property in
this nei borhood has been illustrated by
the mt sale OF the corner of Broad
street and Exchange place, which was at
the rate Of SIS. 900, 600 per acre. Hence
the Drexel lot was none loo dear. In
fact, these dazzling figures are justified
by the immensely of the transactions
which occur here daily. Almost all the
railroads on the continent Except New
Engla nd are managed within 500 feet Of
this spot, and the general pressure Of
our immense financial system gives it a
value which few years ago could not
have been dreamed Of.