Arizona weekly enterprise., 1882-12-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

The Colorado beetle has travelled to Europe, but the mosquito stays to hum- Some men otherwise steady headed, can never keep their balance in bank. A horse race, like the law, must al- ways take its course.
 When is a woman not wcman?- When a little cross.
 A flush oft times comes to the most delicate cheek. But it is not always safe to bet on a flush every time.
 There is a man in Evansville, Ind, SO cross-eyed that whenever he weeps the tears run down his back bone.
 Tom Thumb is said to own yacht. We suppose she is sailed by a Thumbs crew.
 Never put off until tomorrow the debt you can pay to-day. Tomorrow never comes, but your creditor does. He is as sure as death and taxes.
 That was philosophical scribe who said "A woman has to settle a mans coffee with the white of an egg, but she can settle his hash with a look" When you get short measure, it is not
 
 the groceryman lying in weight for your dollars and cents.
 Speaking of shad. would you say the price has gone up or has risen?" inquir- ed schoolboy of q fishmonger. ''Well," replied the scale scraper, speaking of shad, should say it had rose"
 ''Therer' triumphantly exclaimed Deadwood editor, as a bullet came through the window and shattered the inkstand, Il knew that new personal column would be success"
 The bookkeeper of a country news paper in Massachusetts has disappeared taking the keys of the safe with him. The keys are probably the most valua- ble things he could find about the place. Little thanks are due to him who only gives away what is of no use to himself" We always did entertain that opinion of the man who would kick another.
 While boring an artesian well in Bos- ton recently, the workmen struck a baked bean six hundred feet under the ground. It is supposed to have been | placed there before the flood.
 "Women are so contrary" said Blobbs. Il thought when 1 got married my wife would darn my socks and let me alone; instead of that she lets my socks alone and darns me-
 Father, who is always trying to teach l his son how to behave while at the table: | "Well, John, you see when 1 finish eat ing always leave the table, ''Yes, sir, and that's about all you do leave" !"
 At one of the New York theaters the music stopped suddenly and lady in i the audience was heard to exclaim, "We always fry ours in lard.'
 By long custom every body in Bethle- hem is expected to congratulate ac- quaintances on every birthday. Imagine a whole town congratulating kitten ish maiden lady on having entered her forty-seventh year.
 If I ever used any unkind words, Hannah" said Mr. Smiley. reflectively, 'I take them all back" 'Yes, I sup pose you want to use them all over again" was the not very soothing re- ply.
 The guests have dined and the host hands round case of cigars. Il don't smoke myself" he says, but you will find them good-my man steals more o1 them than of any other brand l ever had"
 The United States army has become sadly depleted, thirty of it's member. having deserted ''in all directions" Il thirty more should get away the army will have to adjourn for want of a quo rum.
 A Mifin man had novel fishing ad venture the other day. A pike darteC by his hook closely followed by large pike. The big fish swallowed the smal Ter one and then turned and swallowed the fisherman's hook. Finally a stil bigger fish come along and swallowe, the other fish, the hook and the fisher man.
 ] uffalo are soarSer than ever on th
 ins this year.