Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1882-08-23
Why We Need a Protective Tariff


Brother Joe is q Christian, If he is an
Eastern manufacturer. He pays round
| sum for front pew in his church. His
family, reared in the fear of the Lord, is an
| ornament to the Sunday school and the
| society at large. His name is always head
| ing the subscription list for foreign mis-
| sions and various benevolent institutions;
and the list is always published in the pa
pers. He pays his taxes and regularly votes
the Republican ticket.
Brother Jake is farming out West, has a
| large family OF hard-working sons and
| daughters, and is the best customer of his
| brother Joe, for he uses and buys a great
many articles all the year around. He is a
| Christian, too, after his fashion, but takes
his toddT once in q while, and thinks, when
/ ever he finds time to think tween his la
| bors, that he is not always treated very
| brotherly by his wealthy brother. He paws
his taxes, too-hugh how heavy they are
sometimes. He used to vote the Republi-
| can ticket, too, but says now: "I'll be
dogged If do it any longer. I've just got
enough Of It."
Brother John lives on the other side of
the Atlantic, Is a skilled workman and a
first class business manager of an economi-
cal turn of mind. He has tons Of splendid
goods Tor sale very cheap (cheap foreign
labor, you know and Jake, who is shipping
him great deal OF meat and grain at times,
is very much inclined to purchase some Of
his goods, inasmuch as they are not often
not only cheaper, but also superior to those
manufactured by Joe.
But brother Joe, by the aid of his little
tariff, manages to stop that arrangement.
for how can he afford to build such a fine
country residence on the Hudson, If he has
to sell as cheap as brother John
Soon brother Joe wants to build cottage
at Long Branch; that will cost a great deal
OF money; little rise in the tariff, say fifty
per cent. on brother Johns goods, would
not be bad idea. l could then sell nv
goods just that much higherl Brother Jake
had such splendid crops out West he will
hardly notice the difference.
Brother Joe wants to take his fine stable
of thoroughbreds to the races In Europe.
Bound to win several, If not all, which will
greatly add TO our national fame. A liLtle
rise OF the tariff to eighty-fve per cent. is
absolutely necessary, or the Eastern manu-
facturers will all be bankrupts within six
months. Brother Jake need not say 8 word
for be had such nice crops this year.
Brother Joe's hands have struck for high
er wages. Most fatal affair! And we were
just going to have such nice time with o1r
$50 OO0 steam yacht The trip must be most
poned Terri5lel dreadful! What viii the
neighbors and the yacht club say? But hold
Good newsl One thousand Italians ana
three thousand Russian Jews arrived at
New York. With little training they viii
do; and then, God bless them, they work for
half price, even less! Let the strikers 90 to
-grass We do not need them any longer.
Young men, go West Wander towards the
home OF brother Jake; he can feed you; he
had such nice crops this year. La the mean
time we keep the tariff as 1t is and pay half
wages to the hands. That was a lucky
strike.
Sophronia, darling, make yourself really
| intend to take you aud the whole femiIv
to Europe; We'll have a grand, nice time.
l have just learned that the Tariff Commis-
sion, suugly assembled in my COTTAGE AT
Long Branch, after due and mature consid-
Grafton OF the wants Of the Industry in this
country, has resolved to recommend an ad-
ditional duty of SO per cent, Thev might
nave done better, but that will do for the
present. 1t Is for all intents and purposes
Just as good as IL passed by Congress and
approved by the President We have the
funds and know how to fix those matters
Brother Jake out West will not object, /
hope, for he had such nice crops this
yearl And then, am reliably informed
that wages are very low there, for all of our
old strikers have been at last compelled to
take what they can get. Serves them right!
Why did they strike, when they were having
such nice wages? Why, Just think of It,
they were earning more than double swhat
we pay now, and these new hands grow fat.
Just look at them! How happy they arel
We never had such lamb like, submissive
hands before. Children! Let us praise the
Lord with an appropriate hymn for his
many blessings! UNCLE TIM.