Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1882-09-28
PUNGRST PARAGRAPHS.

BlueHshing-Eot 80 much a. a nibble.
A pair Of pumps: Two special re-
porters.
The way to treat man of doubtful
credit is TO take no note Of him.
"Oh for better half, said the sor-
rowing widowsr. when he found coun-
terieit fifty-cent piece among his coin.
II shall follow her soon," said sad
eyed man at the grave Of his wife.
Within q month he was following
another woman.
The great demand OF the age is an
invention by which a man may be en-
abled TO descend fire escape without
breaking his neck.
els that marble p said a gentleman,
pointing to a bust OF Kentuck'ys great
statesman. ''No, sir; that's Clay quiet.
ly replied the dealer.
A dull old lady being told tha: Ger
tain lawyer was lying at the point of
death, exclaimed: "Oh, dear won't
even death stop that man lying"
The man who is as bold as lion six
iavs in the week covers his fishing rod
With the horse blanket on Sunday and
drives through the back streets.
A home thrust.-Doctor: Now, tell
me, colonel, how do you feel when you
have killed q mani" Colonel: "oh,
very we'll, thank you, doctor-how do
your
A letter addressed "gin oshed, mas
tusit,' mailed in ChAmplain, New York,
was forwarded by q sharp. witted clerk
to Indian Orchard, Mass, and found its
owner.
"What a change exelAims a novel
ist. lone little woman can make in
mans lifel" Exactly" says q victim;
"and what heap Of change che re-
quires while doing it !"
"what building is thatf' asked
stsanger OF boy, pointing to a school
house. THAT said the boy. "Why,
that's a tannery T. And he feelingly
rubbed his back as be passed on.
"I know" said little girl to her
elder sisters young man at the supper
table, THAT you will join our society
Tor the protection Of little birds, be-
cause mamma says you are very fond OF
lArkR."
5ne was pIue-eyed, sweet-faced girl.
and when she asked at the country fair,
"Where are the beetles who made the
beets ?" the honest granger in charge
stuffed half q pear into his mouth and
crawled under q table TO get out OF
sight.
A ureacher was called upon by some
Of his congregation TO pray for rain, OF
which the crops stood greatly in need.
His reply was, that he would pray il his
congregation desired il, bat be was very
sure Il would not rain until the wind
changed.
An exchange tells Of railroad bag
oare.mAster Who missed his train.
Probably on account Of 3 struggle with
: trunk that didn't break so easily As
usual. OF course he would have felt
ashamed to put trunk on whole and
80 took Il out behind the station 10
finish il.
"Please, sir, want Bible" said ;
bright youth. The Bible vas handed
TO the boy, who had been sent Tor IL.
and was about to carry il away. Bat
he stoned = moment and inquired: ''Is
4 this yearsY' That boy had heard
something about the revision Of the New
Testament, but couldn't tell e1actly
what II was.
A bibalous gentleman was introduced
TO lady who had been represented to
him a. quite . talented artist he
greeted her by saying: "I understand,
madame, that you painti" She started.
blurhed deeply, and, recovering herself
after 4 few seconds, said, with a. much
acidity Of tone and style - she conld
command: " Well. II do paint. don't
make any mistake and put Il on NJ
.aaa