The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1882-12-28
Hints on HOuse.CIeaning.
.ow true the words of the poet:

| The saddeSt are observation-disclosures agen.'
And yet the average housekeeper fails t.
perceive it in that particular illumina
| ton. She affects to dislike house-clean
ing, and earnestly informs her neighbo
overthe back fence how she breads its
approach, and what a terrible nuisance
it is, and how she would give twenty
dollars if the awful job was cover with. >
But all the same, she wouldn't forego the
pleasure and the excitement of the op
Grafton for new bonnet, with ten
dollar feather on it. On such occasion,
she is the tyrant of the household, and
she enjoys her brief reign.
If on the eve of the depressing event
during her absence from home, some
kind neighbors were to break into hen
house and thoroughly cleanse it from
cellar to attic, she would commence next
day to tear up the carpets. slosh around
with her dress pinned up, and now and
then impatiently murmur that she can't
conceive how in the world house gets
SO dirty in six months,
When woman gets the ballot, the me- t
thing she will clamor for will be a Con-
greSsional enactment making house
cleaning an imperative duty six times a
year.
Man, however, is differently consti-
tuted. The excitement and confusion
attending housecleaning don't thrill his
entire being with a holy and ecstatic
thrill. Not much. He would enjoy life
with quite as much genuine enthusiasm
if the aggravation did not occur oftener
tian once in a century-and also feel
less like pirate. There are some spe
cies of wild and exciting fun for which
he doesn't yearn with Il soul-consuminr
yearnfulnesS, and house-cleaning is one
of them. 1t is in his behalf, therefore,
that we offer few practical hints on the
subject, the adoption of which would rob
the semi-annual incubus of much of its
terrors, and make man feel less like
building cave and becoming a pro-
fesSional hermit.
HouSe-cleaning should always be com
menced on a cloudy and drearv day.
when u married man is generally in
a good humor, and wants vent for til e
exuberance of his joy. Don't employ
extra help, in order to finish the work in
twenty-four hours. Extend the whole
business over at least four DAYS, lust to
please your husband. He will appreci-
ate your economy, if he ism t brute.
Always time the work SO that the dining
room will be in a-sloppy and nightmare
lsh condition at noon, and your husband
will be obliged to climb over a table, a
lounge, three pictures and six chairs,
which blockade the door leading to the
kitchen, where he will find n s'cod bite"
on the head of -four barrel.
and woman with whitewash brush in
her hand. AS soon as he gulps down
his lunch, gently invite him to accom-
pany you to the parlor, to lift one end of
the piano while you pull out the carpet
He will acquiesce and follow YOU with
a peace on earth-and -good-will-to-man
smile on his face-and you may imagine
You hear him gritting his teeth, but he
feels too happy for that.
You will not forget to unwittinglv
place piece of soap at the heal of the
stairs. He may be in a great hurry to
get back to the office, after sprainino
his back at the piano, and the soap will
enable him to 90 down ten steps without
touching anything but air until he reach
es the bottom. His insane haste may
startle you at first, but when you remem-
Der that you left pail of water stand-
ing at the bottom of the stairs to break
his fall, and see him wearing such
heavenly countenance as he rubs the sore
places so affectionately, you will feel
amply repaid for your thoughtfulness.
The delicious sensations experienced
by a man when he migrates from the
head of flight of stairs to the bottom
in single flying leap, and alights in
pail OF dirty water at the terminus, NAV
be better imagined than described. If
this interesting episode did not occur he
would fail to absorb the beauties of house.
cleaning.
Don't remove the globes from the
1t is a waste of time. The
servantean be depended upon to knock
them OIL with some article of furniture
before housekeeping season is half a
day old, and new globes always look
well.
When your husband comes home in
the evening, weary and worn with the
business cares of the day, cheer him
with a pleasant smile and the informa
ton that the carpet in the bedroom must
be tackled down before he retires. Tt
will be so instructive and edifvino to
listen to his dignifed remarks when he
-ails to make the carpet connect by about
Xix inches; and when he Strengthens I'D
1t brief intervals to wonder if the comet
will plunge into the sun and whether
here will be any carpets to put down in
he next world, and vigorously declares
hat it was huge blundor that man
wasn't built with a gate-hinge in his
'ack, you will know that he is ENJOYING
himself.
Always leave few carpet-tacks scat
cred about the floor after everything
Use is arranged. When your husband !
jumps out of bed at four o'clock a. m.
o see if the comets tail is seven millions
1t miles longer than on the preceding |
morning, he will be poiutedly reminded |
nat house cleaning is over, and this
bought will cause him to rejoice with
xceeding rejoiceness. His inadvertent
anguage. however, may convey a con,
rary impression.
IT these hints, and few others that
vii suggest themselves to the intelligent
nd experienced housewife such as
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