Middletown transcript., 1882-02-10
;MEht ;Mta1stttbt
FRIDAY AFTERNOON, FEB. 10, 1882.
CHIPS.

1t isn't liver pad that a man wants
when he goes skating for the first time.
-SOmerUille Journal.
Men are too much inclined to accept
apretty woman at her face value Gin
cinnati Saturday Night.
Some men are like matches; you
don't know their quality until they are
struck. McGregor Neaos.
Guiteau does not exactly see the
point of his trial, but he will soon get
the hang of Baltimore Erery Satmr-
day.
"A total eclipse of the son occurs when
young lady with Gainsborough hat
occupies the seat Immediately in front
Of a young man at the opera Yonkers
Statesman
g Make Somebody Glad'' urges a re-
cent poem. Hundreds Of young men
can comply with this request by simply
bidding her good night two or three
hours earlier Sunday nights.-NOrris-
t0lCn Herald.
"Who's this ere Oscar Wilde 2'' said
a street Arab to his mate. "Oh, he's
only tall Mick that's put in here to
show people how mean man looks
with his little brothers pants on. y
Rome Sentinel
Some people will never get through
asking foolish questions. A New York
paper asks: "Was Grant surprised at
Shiloh ?'' We don't know how it was
at Shiloh, but Grant was very much
surprised at Chicago. lie was shocked.
TEXAS SJtingS
A lady writer finds fault with the
manners of the King Of Sweden, be-
cause his majesty scratched his royal
head with his fork at dinner. Some
people are entirely too fastidious.
Would the lady have had his majesty
scratch his head with the leg of chair ?
-SomerUiHe Journal.
"Isn't the moon beautiful this even
ing ~ said Alonzo, as he smuggled his
arm just as close upon hers as he could.
"Y-yes, but l know another moon that
is perfectly ecstatic in it's loveliness. !"
"Doyou ? What moon is that, ducky?"
It's the honeymoon, AlonZO, and
don't you think it is about time for us
to have one ?'' The cards are out
Neag HaUen Register.
Said the shrewd tramp {" No, sir !;
1 never try to beat rides on railway
trains. When l want to get ticket to
town, | go to the authorities Of the
place where l am staying, and say !:
See here, Pm pauper 1 belong to
such a town. l think Pm going to
have the smallpox and | want to go
home. They are so anxious to get me
out of town they shell out a ticket
quicker than a cat can dodge" To
live is to work rackets. Boston Post.
Herbert Spencer says it is an illu-
sion'' to think that at each moment
the ego is something more than the ag-
gregate of feelings and ideas actual and
nascent which then exists" There are
moments when we scarcely realize that
this is so. One of these moments is
when the gas man presents his quarter
ly bill. at such a time the ego does
seem something more than the aggre-
gate of feelings. Several dollars and
half more, at least. Norristo,Un Her.
aid.
It's evident that some farmers must
be raised pretty far back in the country.
Here's one that gets up in bucolic
convention and wants to know if any
of them ever tried salt on potatoes.
Just listen to that That old haysifter
had cut across lots about a hundred
miles to bring them the tidings that the
potato was more soluble in the stomach
with little salt than without. Likely
they'd been using gravel, or stove pol
ish, or something of that sort in his
family.-Rome Sentinel.