The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1882-05-04
A Lady OF Information.

Mrs. Dyerfram is lady worth meeting.
Irs. Dyerfram is not one of those persons
ho never yield the slightest scintilla of in
formation upon even the mt st urgent de-
.ands. Mrs. D, erfram, on the contrary,
i generous, not to say extravagant, in this
egard. She fairly bubbles over with in
.,rma,ion. Information exudes from every
ore. She is living, walking, encyclo-
t,fedia of information.
Her information is always to the point.
too. She is never difusive. Hsr informa-
ton is ever upon one topic, topic which
enRrosses her utterly, and which by con-
sequence should eneross every one else.
You walk down the street, and nine
meet, and of whom you ASK the question,
How do you do?" will straightway evade
your interrogatory and throw the burden
OF answering upon yourself by tossing back
the question, How do you do?"
Bat Mrs. Dverfram is not one of these.
She is neither SO rude as to seek to eyade
your query nor so inquisitive as to pry into
your sanitary condition. When you ask
Mrs. Dyerfram how she does, Mrs. Dyer
fran tell you at once and in full. Il am not
very we'll. she replies with ingenious
promptitude. I've got bad feeling here"
indicating the locality of her trouble by
placing her gloved hand over the fourth
button of her dress waist, counting upward.
Then, transf 9rring the hand to her right
side, 1--we got an awfully sharp pain here.
Ny liver, suppose. Sometimes it seems
as though I should die, it cuts me So"
Again the position of the hand is changed,
now covering that portion of Mrs. Dyer
fram's anatomy conventionally supposed to
contain her heart. my old trouble, she
says, "grows worse and worse"
Then Mrs. Dyerfram goes on to enumer-
ate certain other ills that her flesh is heir to.
She tells you OF the rheumatism in her right
lather limb, of thu tired feeling in its fell
low, of the shooting aims here, there aud
everywhere. She does not forget to men,
ion the cereal protu berances which adorn
her Fedestals, nor the rigidity of her fl -xor
md extensor muscles, nor the scratc on
her left little I'll g=s.
And when Mrs Dyerfram begins to treat
Of her thorax, and after that of her cephalic
ailments, she becomes truly eloquent.
there is but one head 10 her dis course now;
but that head has mora in 1t than can b
ound in Dunglison's medical dictionary or
half dozen medical colleges put together.
Il is perfect compendium of diseases, and
she Will continue to exhibit its treasures as
ong as you care to view them.
md it is the same VII Mrs. Dyerfram
is at home. Visit her there. and you will
till fnd her diss minntirg information.
70 idle chit-chat d;lls the urs there
You enter empty, ami retlre filled to the,
rim with therapeutic know leuge.
Mrs Dyerfam has the entire pharmaoo-
poela at her tongne's emo, and the patented
descriptions that she knows not of are
indeed not worh knowing Shs can tell
YOU of fifty sovereign RENE lies for cold;
not from mere hearsay, you mind, but
rom absolute experiment. OF dyspepsia
emedies. her list is well nigh Interim able,
I'D for liver troubles, nervous disorders,
'tins in the head, back, limbs in snort,,n
u"re places than are gwen in the almanac
ne Can tell you the best thing in world.
f r hasn't she tried them, one and all?
1t is true that Mrs. Dyerfram is never
rec from cold. that her stomac is the
'biding-place of the lemon dyspepsia, that
her liver is in state of chronic rep .ir, that
Ter nerves are like broken harp strings,
nrever out of tune, and that, in short, the
chronicle of her complaints in divers other
,lepar m ants of her BODY would fill the big
,-st book you ever saw or ever will see.
But what of that2 Because Mrs. Dyer
fran is not in the enj ,yment of perfect
n complete health it need not follow that
er remedies are ut fault; indeed, it does
'ot Without them, how could one with
her diversified arrangement live sec
md?
And Mrs. Dyerfram does not confne
herself to empty words when treating of
'er multlform remedies. She does better.
She displays them. In the liberality of
her heart. she will, if you are polite enough
o permit her, give you taste of each.
And after partakng of pills of every
name aud variety, of liquids of various de-
srees. of unpalatablene,s, and of powders
which from the taste should be more potent
han gunpo WIDER, when YOU leave Mrs. Dy-
erfram's abode you are full not only of IN
formation, but Your information illus
rated in way that shall cause you to re-
member it. for time at least
Yes, there ara few persons so satisfying
t meet as is Mrs D erfrsm. Once meet
ng her should satisfy any one not wing
: he erasping attributes of the grovelllug
swine.