Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-10-27
Or KALEIDOSCOPE.

Or KALEIDOSCOPE.
Women should exercise great care in the
choice Of husband, A Connecticut woman
of 30 married a man Of $? for his money, ana
the old villain has the bad taste TO outlive
her.
Mr. Lally of jefferson, Iowa, was an i'm.
petuous wooer. He rushcd into the presence
OF woman with an engagement ring in one
hand, cooked pistol in the other, and de
sarcd that she must marry or die. She did
neither and he has gone 10 prison.
Dorsey is promised rev trial, but his
present lamentations over his 'traduccrs
lead the New York World IL observe that
possibly he feels like the lrishman who, when
he received similar assurance. replied
"Faix, it's the thought of that same fact
that's troubling me :"
In some parts of the West the rights Of
women are being greatly abridged. A girl
has been arrested in Kansas City for flirting
with the mourners in funeral procession.
Twcnty-six Russian cavalry officers re
Gently paid $50 each for a dinner in War.
saw. If they sent to this country for their
beef, the price seems reasonable enough 10
the Norristown Herad
An exchange has a rather good story about
a German lady who, not feeling as well a,
she liked, went to consult physician.
"Well,' said the doctor, after looking at her
tongue, feeling her pulse, and asking her
slndry questions, 81 should advise you, yes,
| should advise you-ah hem to get mar
ried.' care you single, doctor?' imputed
the fair patient with a significant yet mod.
est smile. II am, mein Fraulen but it is
not etiquette, you know. for physicians to
take the physic they prescribe"
Old-fashioned country dances are being re.
vived, and it is thought tLat fashion able
balls this season will be less suggestive oil
sitting up with corpse than formerly
Philadelph'a Ners.
A two-story building is to be erected in
Pennington, for. as a travelling item SAYS
"thc manufacture of ladies' and misses
heels The building will evidently he
high enough for the purpose. -LoreN Co,1'-
Ter.
This is the season of the year when tue
agricultural papers are hard at work advising
$500 reapers out in the snow all Winter. No
farmer could get along without an agricul
tural paper Philadelphia Ners.
At the bank. Clerk What do you wish,
sir:' Rufiian-"Why, just dropped in to
tell you that I'm the man that knocked down
aud robbed your cashier" Clerk-'Well,
sir, I'm very sorry; hut you'll have to iden.
THY yourself, sir. '-Detroh Free Press.
Yes, said Burkenstcin, Il came pretty
near doing a mean thing to-day. had a
counterfeit half, and was about to give 1t
to poor blind beggar who asked for aims,
but resisted the temptation anu 60, an old
apple-woman to change il by buying i've
cents worth Of fruit. "-Boston Transcript
Il don't believe in this learning German,
Spanish French or any foreign langua res,
said a Michigan man the other day. "Why,
l lived among lot of Germans ami got
along with them just US well as if had
known their language, but didn't-not
word Of it, Glow did you contrive it,"
why you see, they understood niue, -
Detroit Free Press.
a Canadian reporter while chatting with
an old soldier of Hibernian nationality as
certained that the latter had assisted at the
funeral of the hero of Waterloo at London in
1852. II suppose a large body OF military
paraded at Wellington's funeral:', asked the
scribe. "1is, indeed, and when it was over
we resaved shillin' apiece TO drink the
dukes health was the reply Boston
| GOJe.
This country may not be ready To 90 II
war with a foreign power on a days notice,
but she could soon find a special substitute
| for cannon balls, provided there was short.
age in this particular 1t is estimated that
there are 1000, 900 base-bals in this country,
and if they were fired from cannon al the
| enemy the destruction would tie terrible. The
American Peace society might object TO such
an exhibition of cruelty, however, and want
scrap iron used in their s,eld.-Noryisto,cn
Herald.
The signal service is now ready to an.
nouncc the approach of cyclones over siX
hours in advance. This will give the farm,
or who hesrs of it time to so and sell his
stock tools and other property to the man
who don't know what's coming. - Boston
| Post.
Arab red is the newest and livcliest sha lie
of this color. A sort of Bry, we presume
-lOnkers Statesman.
| De weakness OBJ man is his strength. De
appetite for whiskey is Y weakness, but it is
powerful strong. Traceller.
"lIod the forte for l am coming !" said
the muscular man, as his pals staggered on
! Tut stairway unutT tue weight Oh llc uliup,
boston Commercial Bulletin.
The Englishman who said that liquor had
been the horrd-gin of all his troubles has
been spirited away, as he richly deserves to
have been.- ronker Statesman,
The reason that aesthetics so admire the
stork is that he can stand for hours on one
| leg and look as though he didn't know any
thing and didn't want to, S0meyriAt Jour
| nat
A Philadelphia bride found seventeen full
sets Of dishes among her wedding presents.
Her far-seeing friends evidently knew she
was going to keep a gill Philddslphid
Neus.
Absent -mindedness has been considered
the mark of great man, buta fellow never
feels very big about it when he Tugs nap.
kin away from the table in his handkerchief
pocket. -L0'ceN Citizen
| Subscribers of the Boomerang who find
crossbones and skull, with crest of metallic
burial casket drawn In blood, on the wrapper
of their paper will know that their subscrip-
ton has expired and that something has got
10 be DOME Iamasie Roo.e,ans.
"Kissmee," is the name of thriving town
in Florida. Young ladies living there do
not dare to name the place of their resi-
dence in the hearing Of strangers. Boston
Jrdpsl,er,