Smyrna times., 1882-07-26
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.
Going to campmeeting this year? p
Boston Post. No, we have reformed.
1t has been discovered that the castor
oil plant will drive away flies. Yet
some people say that flies can't reason.
A poet asks, "Why is the nightin-
gales song SO sad?" Perhaps it is
because the nightingale has to get up
so early in the morning.
What difference, if any, is there
between cyclone and tornado.-Er.
One blows the roof off your house-the
other blows your house from under the
roof
Chicago boasts of butcher so hand
some that when he charges 80 cents
pound for tough meat even the board
inghouse-kcepers pay it without grum-
bling.
\ womans ; journal warns its readers
never to sleep in the broad glare of the
moonlight. Considering the weather.
this advice is timely There is a man
in the moon
\ fashion papers says that bathing
suits for little boys this year are very
simple. They consist of large hat
fastened under the chin and wad of
cotton in each ear.
An Ohio physician dug seven graves
intended for seven patients who were
still living. Notwithstanding his ac-
cOmmodating disposition, he was put
in an insane asylum.
An experienced superintendent says
that SundayschOOl picnics should al
ways be held on Monday, so as To give
the children time to get well before
the following sunday
Good takers may entertain, but
they are not half so popular as good
: listeners Fashion Journal The best
e listener we know of is the telephone.
e and it certainly is popular.
. An exchange has an article headed
i, = A substitute for Beef" We have not
\ read it and don't intend to, as we sus-
, pect that the editor is in the pay of the
o Goodyear Rubber Company
c The New York Ledger asks: els
3 man to be deemed insane because he
e kisses the girl to whom he is engaged
a in an enthusiastic manner?" Certainly
~ not. He is only little soft,
A. A Philadelphia tramp started ON his
le annual tour some time ago, but has re-
=. turned in disgust. He says that every
where he went he was met by fright
- ful signs of Help Wanted
st Near New York there is a Summer
lis resort which has neither rum nor mos
g, quitoes, yet it has never paid. New
rt Workers feel sort of lonely without
ut mosquitoes and won't 60 there.
nc The report that the glassblowers are
.ot on a strike cannot be true. While
70 passing beer garden yesterday We
os saw several hundred men industriously
tn blowing over the top of glasses.
Ut An Iowa editor advertised liver pads
to the amount of $3.50, and took it all
out in pads. Then he was mad because
le- his hired girl wouldn't take twenty
ms eight of them for two months services.
he
10 This is the season of the year when
nc. the young man who does not know a
if martingale from 3 crupper hires the
re- most spirited nag he can find and take:
net his best girl out riding. Sometime
the couple come back alive and some
times they don't.
hia The Chicago Ne,Cs knows of thirteeI
iii. circus clowns who have retired to farm
1ne life, We should judge a clown would
Ole, do we'll as a farmer. He'd only haV'
the to 90 out into the fields and recite
ave some of his old jokes to send the pota
10 to bugs away on the dead run.-BOs
ton Post
NJ. Heard at back gate: why is
rs that you would rather swelter in cit
rs kitchen than accept nice place in tn
ae @ country ?" "Well, you see, have
great many relatives depending on m
- ~ for sugar, tea, coffee and -four, and if
'' should leave the city they would starv
to death"
eled A fair contributor to Progress asser
law, that men have so many superfuOl
fees pockets that they can never rememb'
ants where they carry anything. This
raise true to some extent, but women a
ued. not much better of. They have on
one pocket, hut 1t takes them abo1
il in three-quarteTs of an hour to find it.
that wost C,hosto. Nom. ranorter bea
" M ing that Bob Burdett had been catchil
fh "@ lots of fish in the Brandywine, invest
'"o his fortune in fishpole and spent
day along the banks of that limp
stream. As he caught nothing, he
luenI at a loss 10 decide whether TO els
go BuYdett as q hHmOFist of a Ii,
celia, ,,,oor fisborman
out -
from -, ~. a.,
during the bOmbardment performed
c. gallant deed. A lighted shell fell up
ms of 'iie i's'n "o0N' NO s""io' p0'0