The news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1882-1891, 1882-08-03
HUMOROUS.

1T no use to feel me wrist, docther.'
said Pat, when the physician began tax.
ing his pulse, "the pain is not there, sure
it's in me head, intirely."
SKINNY MEN.
Wells Health Remover. Absolute
cure for nervous debility aud weakness OF
the generative functions. 81. at drug
gists. Prepaid by express at SIPS, 6 for
%. E. WELLS, Jersey City, N. J.
ROUGH ON RATS"
What is it that we wish for, and, when
obtained, we never know that we have itY
Sleep.
The thing desired found at last. Ask
Druggists for "Rough on Rats" 1t clears
out rats, mice, reaches, flies, bed-bugs.
16c. boxes.
"BUCHUPAIBA."
In charity it may be better to give than
receive; but in kissing it is about equal.
New, quick, complete cure days, urin-
airy affections, smarting, frequent or diff
cult urination, kidney diseases. 81. all
druggists. Prepaid by express, $1,25 6
for So. E. s. WELLS, Jersey City, N. J.
1.-THE tender leaves of hope" are those
taken when she hopes he will come again.
DIR. Kline's great nerve restorer is the
marvel Of the age for all nerve diseases.
All fits stopped free. Send to 931, Arch
st, Philadelphia, Pa.
PERMIT no SUBSTITUTION.
Insist upon having Floreston Cologne.
II is greatly superior in permanence and
delicucy of fragrance.
A point well taken: Many a self-made
man would have done better by himself
had he let the contract out to somebody
else.
FADED COLOR5 RESTORED.
Faded or gray hair gradually RECEIVERS
its youthful color and lustre by the use of
Parkersi Hair Balsam, an elegant dressing,
admired for its pnrity and rich perfume.
Thousands of women have been entirely
cured of the most stubborn cases of female
weakness by the use of Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. Send to
Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham, 233 Western
Avenue, Lynn, Mass, for pamphlets
Young ladies, when youth who is par
taking Of soda with you, winks at the
clerk. shoot his company on the spot.
Il Dem 1t My Duty to Tell
what DR. Swayne's Compound 5yrupof Wild
Cherry has done for me / had a violent
cough. night sweats, sore throat, great weak
ness, with severe attacks ofhemorrhase, gave
mp all hopes Of recovery. i am cured, q
EDWARD Il HANSON.
Engineer Of Sweeny Pottery,
1884 Ridge Avenue, Philanelphia,
Over twenty-five years have elapsed and
am still . hearty man.
One Of our BARRIERS was completely bro
ken up the other day. He was shaving
book agent and didn't get show for put
ting in word edgewise.
The complaint Qones from England
that leather is f1and In Ameaican sau-
sages. Good gracious do they think we
can stop to take the collars off the dogs.
Elegant Toilet Prepar0tiO 8.
Hair dressing, and restorative is found in
London Hair Color Restorer." IL seldom
mai yontSui color II and e Beauty an 70 Faiing
hair e CHECKED by its use and 1t produces
growth Of beautiful young hair soft, glossy,
and luxurisnt It certainly is the most
cleanly and effective hair restorer now be
fore the a merican people.
A. a. Gibson, Barry town, Duchess county,
N. Y, writes; DR.. Swayne q Son, Philadel-
eight dollars; please send me one dozen bot
ties OF the London Hair Color Restorer.'
It has stopped my hair from falling, and re-
stored it to Its natural color. 1t has proven
<u{or
Hair Color Rsstorer" can be obtained at all
the leading druggists at75 cents bottle.
It isn't the girl that is loaded with
powder who goes off the easiest
The hardest rocks are made of the soft
est mud, just as the biggest swells are
made from the smallest men.
Skin Diseases.
..swayne,s Ointment Cures the most in
"6wayne's Ointment veterate cases skin
..swayn~'s Ointment disease, such as tei-
swsynss 0insmsn s sea head b anSs%
aSwayneis Ointment itch, sores, all crus
a.swaynes Ointment ty scaly skin itcn-
.swsyne's g Ointment ing SKIN earGptions
ssSwayDe's Ointment complaint, itching
.Swayne's Ointment piles, the only ef
s'swaynes Ointment lfectural cure, no
'swayne's Ointment nate or long stand
:'Swayne's Ointment ling. Ask for 1t and
take no other. 1t cures where all else Isils.
Sold by all prominent druggists.
Piles Ischtsg Piles
A Philadelphia tramp started on his
annual tour some time ago, has returned
in disgust. He says that everywhere he
went he was met by frightful signs of
"Help Wanted"
The symptoms ofitching piles are moisture