davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
IBOUGHT SOllESTOCK.

bought some stock one luckless day,
Which had been told was ''sure to pay;"
''The capital was oil paid in" . 8
The company would soon begin
With lack of funds and credit too;
I would make money Every fast"
And dividends be sure to last"
The managers were all great men .
Before their names wrote Col. or Gen.. -
Or Maj. at least Hon;
A basis good to build upon
Such names to me did surely seem,
When l went into that grand scheme.
/ was. "let in'' at "bo!tom price,"
And thought I'd ''picked up something
nice;"
The stock most surely would advance
Without the fear of a mischance.
held the stock-I hold it still, .-s
Knowing it is not worth a mill.
The managers had "placed the shares" d.
This was the greatest Of their cares.
The ''cash paid in" then disappeared,
And all to close the lambs were sheared.
The 'bottom price ce''svhich built,
Dropped out and al1f} milk vas split.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
Atonement Tor : Mad Prank.

q ACO000100ee IO8 @ Ia Prank,
Marshal MacMahon's eldest son, Lies-
tenant Patrick, emulates the heroes Of
Levers novels. He il at Ealaise with his
regiment, and the soul Of Ill the garrison
sports. Some weeks since he WAS victor
in steeple-chase, ut which, - . handi-
cap, three breakneck leaps were imposed
on him only. Lieutenant Machahon is
no gambler, but il fond Of winning &C.
centric bets. A few weeks ago military
cllum laid . small wager tl,af Mac would
not smash, in the broad daylight, q con-
vent window with bad egg. The sacre-s
ligious nature of the prank staggered
him, nevertheless he resolved to win the
bet. He was to fling the egg % he was
riding by the convent with some brother
officers. When the foul missile went
through the pane, Lieutenant Patrick
tlismOunted, rang the convent hell,
asked to see the reverend mother. told
her what he had done, and begged her
TO intlict q penance. She refusing, he
took his watch and chain, and 4 ring
that was on his finger, and asked If. she
would allow him to dedicate them to the
poor, whom she habitually relieved. As
she could not reject gift offered to her
in trust for them, she accepted the
atcnement. The ring was Of consider
able value.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
FARMERS COLUMN.
Hints for the Farmer.

Hints for the Farmer. slsiga
A French breeder, famous for his su:
cess, when asked how he was enabled to
fatten sheep 80 we'll and 30 quickly, said
he had no secret. Induce animals to
eat abundantly of large variety OF we'll
prepared food-that is, all there is
Of il.
A large watermelon, from South Noun
tain. Ga, which weighed seventy pounds
was three feet high aud i've in circum-
ference, was about being placed "on
eight" in the exposition by Mr.. J. N.
Brown, acting for the southern railway
company, when it unfortunately fell, and,
in the language of spectator, "prOyed
TO be SQUASH" At The west and south
this is q remarkable season for water.
melons. &
Save labor by growing more grass
seed. Have more grass than can he
eaten in summer 50 that there will be
plenty in fall, winter and spring. Have
grass at all times when there is no snow
to cover it. The cheapest beef and but
ter are made from feed gathered by the
cattle themselves. Scarce corn has taught
many the value OF grass for summer
hogs::this season. If you desire no bene-
ut from grass you could do better In 9TH
er places of the west. =
Large, coarse-boned horses are fire.
Quently troubled with weakness of the
ankles or knuckling. This should be
treated by rubbing with stimulating lini-
ments, turpentine, or with infusion of
eak-bark: Give the animal, also, one
teaspOOnful of Peruvian bark or gentian
root, and the same quantity of eulphate
of iron powdered and mixed toeether
once day in tablespoonful of molass-
es. For the weakness ofthe passage ap.
ply oak or willow bark infusion. The
medicine mentioned will help this trou-
bic also. Be sure and give no resin or
saltpeter, as these will produce it.
There is but one kind of timber which
is rat-proof, and that is hemlock. Rats
do not like to cut through this WOOD for
the same reason that carpenters dislike
to handle or work it, and that is the
abundance Of sharp splinters which it
makes. Its fibres are very hard and
stiff and sharp, and stick in the rats
mouths. fthe rats are 80 hungry and
desperate as to gnaw through hemlock
plank l Ia inch thick, the remedy il to
procure sheetiron cut into strips 3inches
wide and bend it into an angular form
lengthwise and nail this around the cor
ners of the bins. But the very hest
remedy for rats in granary is to have
the bins removed from the wall all round
about six inches and keep good cat in
1t.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
RecfDo3.

FRIED ToMAroEs.-Peel and slice, pep
per and salt, dip each piece into -four.
and then then into beaten eges; have the lard
thickened with little flour and butter,
and pour over them.
PLAIN Cold SLAw.-Slice the cabbage
quite fine; season highly with salt, pep
der and sugar, and pour over the vine
gar and mix thoroughly.
SNlPE.-Broiling is a favorite method
Of cooking game, and al birds are ex-
ceedingly nice roasted. Snipe are best
roasted with . piece of pork tied to the
breast. A delicate way of dressing is to
place an oyster dipped In the well-beat-
en- yolk Of an egg, or in melted butter,
and then roll in crumbs inside each bird.
Allow thirty minutes to roast or longer
if stuffed.
Potato puff with the addition of It,
tie cold meat, makes an excellent break
fast dish. To two cups of cold mashed
potato allow two we'll beaten eggs, two
tablespoonfuls of melted butter, and one
cup of sweet milk, beat all together un-
til very light, then add the cold meat,
chopped very fine. After mixing thor
oughly put it in a shallow pudding dish,
and bake it from twenty minutes to half
an hour. If preferred, you can bake in
well-buttered gem pans.
Here is recipe for making coffee,
(not Germany: Grind two gi:b Of roast
ed Rio coffee as fine as possible. Put
into common tin coffee pot. Add two
tin cupfuls Of cold water and set on the
back part of the stove and let it come
to boil gradually. When at the boil
ing point set of and serve. It requires
NJ no ,d additions Mt to settle it, as i is beautiful.
S six medium coffee d'c cupfals % Of No. No. o ! cof:
easily made. Fry It. ''''''' ~
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

tented to leave things 90 they wore?
Tell her, Betsey, that Washburne has
concluded not to exchange until mex:
week, and that, now I'm In the midst
Of the melee, Ill lend . hand with this
business tomorrow"
"Yes sir.''
And Betsey-''
"Sir?"
"Where did you learn to make such
delicious cofieef Bring in 4 cup At once. ,.
Pm ready to drop with wear;ness; and
it is like dream of Arabia"
And Flora Lee, with Tapping edge
Of her sunbonnet concealing the amused
dimpies around her mouth, brought in
the oysters and coffee, aanked by pile
Of feather-light waftles.
~ declare Betsey" cried the Reverend
Eirc, hcetiously, 'If you were q trifle
younger and prettier, I'd marry you
myself to make sure of coffee and wat.
fles like this every night" ~
would you sir?" said the soidisant
Betsey.
"And well make compact, Betsey,"
merrily went on the young clergyman,
as he helped himself to butter. "tO finish
the house.cleaning ourselves tomorrow,
and save Aunt Della the worry and
work Of it."
YES" sir, said Betsey. "But. please
sir, it's all done, except the tacking down
OF the carpets"
.tWho did it?''
II, sir, please, and Mrs. Dove and
Adoniiah. And please, sir, I'm going to
finish it myself tomorrow; and please,
SIR. fiinging back her sunbonnet, and
disclosing coronal of bronze brown
braids, 9 pair Of very rosy cheeks, and
full oF O. ~kIsnsv hn1o1 svnscnhinF
"I'm not Betsey at all, but Flora Lee,
entirely Mt your serviCe!'
The Reverend Eric Hale started with
round.eyed surprise, not unmingled
with dislnay.
"Miss Lee" he repeated.
Exactly" nodded the young lady.
"Did you make the Coffee"
''And fry these brown:jacketed oys-
ters, and stir these waffles?"
mo one else, Mr.. Hale"
"And scrub these rooms?" glancing
around.
"Yes, sir; and busted the cornices,
and washed the window-glass, and took
down all the picture frames, and put the
lace curtains into soak, besides otheritema
too numerous to MENTION" mischievous-
ly added Flora, rather enjoying the dis.
conjecture of the Young clergyman.
"Hiss Lee," said Eric, II beg your
pardon" ...
.''What for, Mr.. Hale?'
"For always having regarded you az
the most useless Of creatures. l recant.
own that YOU are equal to any e,ner.
gency."
And when, later in the evening, Mrs.
Dove crept down, with her head tied up
in eau de cologne, she found her nepli.
ew and Flora Lee playing chess togeth.
er by the fire in the most amicable man.
ner imaginable.
Its all right" said Mrs. Dove to her.
self.
1t was all right. And Mrs. Eric Dale
won her frank, unconventional husband,
not through the medium Of dress or lew.
els, or waltzes, or hower-shows, but
through the grim realities of cleaning
house.
Il wanted q genuine helpnate, says
the Reverend Eric. "and have got
one."
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
What Tom Moore Said.
Edwin Booth In ENGLAND.

The London correspondent Of the
Liverpool Mercury writes: "Mr Edwin
Booth returns to America, it is to be
feared, slightly disappointed. A really
tine actor-take one name from the stage.
and We have no one his equal in London
he has not been greatly appreciated,
and his recent season at the A.ielpli was
something of failure from the monetary
point of view. Mr. Booth, however, is
better than fine actor. lie is man.
When he was made to play with sticks
at the Princess's last year he did not
mnrmur, and now he blalnes nobody for
the failure. lie only announces as his
irrevocable resolve never to play in Eng
land AGAIN."
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

It won't do to neglect such symptoms
OF ill.health and approaching decay as seii-
ment in the urine, painful urination, milky
urine, etc. When thus afflicted the kidneys
and urinary system need immediate
sal lassitude. disturbing dreams and general
rroetration follow in their turn, and shat
tered nervous system and broken down con-
stitution makes life miserable, and prematl1ra
death or paralysis inevitable. To counter.
act the effect of such an unnatural drain.
use DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock aud Sarsar,.
arilla: It will strengthen the parts effected.
stop the unatural drain and check iii de.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
A Pessln,ist View Of Mankind.

Joe Howard in the Philadelphia Times.
Do you know why the papersare filed
with stories Of crime, even in the dullest
of periods? Let me explain. In the
economy of all daily journals there is an
industrious little fellow known as the
city editor. To him comes the report
ers for others. Certain reporters have
regular daily duty. One is in police
headquarters, one in the coroner's
Office, one in each police court, one in
each court Of whatever name. Do you
catch 0n7 In other words. no mis-
demeanor, Rreat or small, can be known
In any of the places where all must be
known, and the reporters not get it.
Then its written up. I remember some
years ago I was city editor Of q metro
politan Journal, and q resident of Brook
lyn wrote me from the country where
she was passing the summer, "Any one
reading the Brooklyn news in the
Times would obtain the impression
that there is nothing done in
the City of Churches but thieving and
rascality in general" / Hooked, and sure
enough, day after day the only news
from the great city was that sent from
ponce ne2QQuafter6 Wner0 the DlOtter
recorded the arrests of men and women
for wrongs done their fellow citizens.
Precisely what good is done by the in
cessant publication of evil doing I fail to
discover. If q man has two wives and it
is found out, our children read about it.
II q horrid murder is committed, it's hide
Gus details are laid upon the breakfast
table with our coffee and our rolls. Es-
pecially If hitherto reputable" people
are caught in any snap of d;shonor, dis
loyalty. or social scandal We are COM
PEELED to read it, even If our tastes in no
way run in that direction: Now and
then some wiseacre announces that the
world is growing worse, and these days
are not like the old days, and that hu'
man virtue is rarity.
Popl ~
Human natures the same yesterday,
to-day, and forever. The people of the
earth are closer together than they were
100 years ago. That's the only differ
ence. fin Paris, Constantinople, San
Francisco, New Orleans, and Philadel-
phia, there Is to-day dreadful murder
the people of the round globe will read
of each and all in the morning papers.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
PerSOnal-Mell O0ly.

The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, will
send DR.. Dyes Celebrated Electro Voltaic
Belts and Electric Appliances on trial for
thirty days to men {yOung or old) who are
afflicted with nervous debility, lost vitality
and kindred troubles. guaranteeing speedy
and complete restoration of health and man
ly vig0r. Address as above. N. B.-NO risk
is incurred, rs thirty days trial is allowed.
What Eminent s.. Louis Physicians
Say.
PREyESnyE OF MAIARrA.-Celdens Ii
quid Beef Tonic is . very agreeable arti-
Gle ofdiet, and particularly useful when ton
les are required, being tolerated when other
forms of animal food are rejected. In Diph-
liberia. Ague. Malaria, Typhoid Feve=:, and
every depressing disease, its use will be at
tended with great advantage We have pre-
scribed it with excellent success. ]. H. Les
lie, NJ. D.; G. P. Copp, N. d.; 8. B. Par
sons, NJ. D.; r. A. Vaughn, NJ. D.; DrS
5. L. and J. C. Niedelet, VIM Porter NJ d.;
and many ethen. (Colden's, no other.)
OF druggists.
What Tom Moore Said
That wrinkles are democratic and fiatter
nobody. 'Glenn's Sulphur Soap will re-
tard the time when wrinkles make their ap-
pearance, by keeping the skin of a velvet
sottness, improving its elasticity, and pre-
serving its healthfl appearance. It gives a
pearly aspect to the skin which cannot be
DISTINGUISHED from the natural hue of pure
complexion. See that &C. N. Crittenton
Proprietor, ;" is printed on each packet, with
out which none is genuine. Sold by drug
gis's and fancy goods dealers.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, black or
brown, fiftg cents.
Alarming:
Colds that settle on the lungs soon become
Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar. Sold
by druggists.
Pixies toothache drops cure in one minute
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
Filtcring Drinking Water.

All water from springs or cisterns
should be filtered. The exposure to the
air of such water cannot fail to infect it
with germs of various injurious kinds
which should be removed by filtering.
An excellent filter for domestic use to be
attached to the water tap can be made
as follows: Procure piece of tin pipe
three inches in diameter and eight
inches long. Have soldered to the bot
tom piece of wire strainer and then q
cap with an escape pipe quarter or half
inch in diameter. Fill the tube with al
ternate layers of powdered hardwood
charcoal and clean washed sand, have a
cover fitted on like borrower. with
slots cut it, to fitin small pins soldered
on the tube so as to hold the cover when
it is turned around a little. To the COW
er should be soldered q female screw to
lit thread cut upon the tap. This will
perfectly cleanse the water and can be
removed, the cover taken off and the
contents renewed. It may save 100
times its cost in doctor bills, and 1000
times it comfort.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

For Dyspepsla, Indigestion. Depression q
spirits and General Debility. in their various forms
sho - preventive against Fever and Ague and
otner intermittent Fevers. the erro-Phosphor-
1t91a Elsxif OF Ca1i4aya." m.de by Csswell HAZARD
SC. New York. and sold by all Druggists, is the
Det tonic; and for patients recovering from Fever on
other sickness, it has NO annal. @
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
An Artistic Young Lady's Room

People furnish their rooms now &C.
cording to the caprices. The personal
comes out. The rich literary young ID
dy fits up her no ,m with furniture of an
antique pattern, with bookcases in dark
wood or oak, with tiled fireplace, and
brass andirons, a Venitian mirror, and
deep luxurious rugs. She has rare en-
cravings, and Sevres writtnq-table.
Simple but choice" one says on enter
ing. Ifshe is fashioable belle, her
room will be festooned with pink or
blue silk, covered with, or tulted satin
let into the walls. Long mirrors will
abound. and the furniture viii be Of or
molu: The spirit of the Pompadour
breathes from this interior; it is all roses
and blue ribbons. The artistic young
lady has three important caprices; q
bunch of peacock's feathers, q brass pot
full of cat-tails, and q medieval candle
stick. These are the essential. Japan
ese fans as a matter Of detail; an easel,
a few straight. backed chairs. a brown
curtain embroidered with sun.flowers,
and Persian cat. With all the stiffness,
yellow which has become the passion of
WIG AOaAO"CSo u Nlu1bOuC DEOWus t0C90
modern aesthetics do sometimes make
very. pretty rooms. They are quaint
and individual, but there is no doubt
that "the high artistic craze" has pro-
duced some very ugly effects.
The severe stiffness of the cat-tail has
entered much into modern embroidery.
Every one feels for the stork which has
stood 30 long on one leg.
''The little lilies lank and wan,
Each stork and sunflower spray"
all are stiff and dismal. They are the
pendants to the clean disciples of
Burne-J0nes." The Postlethwaites and
Bunthornes and their female adorers
look like q stork on one leg. The hero
OF modern aesthetic comedy says, as
the highest SYNONYM of despair, "I
feel like room. without q dado."
tits one Of the plaasantest caprices of
modern luxury that women have their
bedrooms and boudoirs furnished in col
ors that will set off their favorite Dress
es, and add china to match the bedroom.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
Our Waste OF Food

Mr.. Edward Atkinson writes to the Boston
Advertiser: In the recent report of the Com.
Missi0nels Of Prisons find statement Of
the cost Of provisions per week pr prise ler
in the year 1881. BY this statsmsnt It ap-
pears that in the prisons and houses of oor.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
"A TOrDid liver.

Morosenses, irritability and . dull and
cloudy mind are the consequences of inac-
ton Of the. liver. Moral: Aliens "Iron
Toni: Bitters" inviRorate the liver stimn
late it when languid to secretion and resolve
its chronic engagements. J. p. Allen,
Druggist and manufacturing pharmacist sole
manufacturer St. Paul. MINI
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

A writef signing himself = we'll man. y
writes: z was i'll for years with weakness.
Milky urint, palpitation of the heart. bad
dreams, ETC., were some of the symptoms.
sook TWO bottles OF DR.. Guysott's Yellow
myself we'll man." 20
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

DR.. II. v. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery" cures every kind of humor, from
the common pimple or eruption to the
worst scrOfula.
Four to six bottles cure salt-rheum or
tetter.
One to five bottles cure the worst kind
of pimples on the face. ,-
Two to -four bottles clear the system of
boils, carbuncles and sores.
Five to eight bottles cure corrupt or
running ulcers and the worst scrofula.
By druggists, and in half-dozen and
dozen lots at great discount.
The milking stool is the latest in the "dec-
Grating line. It is affected only by the
cream Of society,"" .,.
Weak lungs, splitting Of blood, con-
sumption. and kin:lred affections. cured
without physician. Address for treatise
with two stamps, Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y.
From the Hindu: A hundred men make
an eacamp,nent, and one woman makes a
"A Drop Of Joy in Every Word.''
DR.. K. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y: Three
months ago was broken out with large
face. Iprocured your Golden Medical
Discovery" and "furgative Pellets and
have taken six bottles, and to-day l am
ing eaed 9a sna a 4 'SSe my skig g IN n.eess natr" T
healthy condition. I thought at one
time that could not be cured. Although.
yea e tReqs s a@ep
word / write. Yours truly, James o.
Bells, Flemington, N. J. discovery"
sold bydruggists.
Porcelain plaques in enamel and fred
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Bid defiance to scrofula and diphtheria by
keeping DR.. Hallidays Ble0d Purifier laying
around loose. Sold by all druggists or by
the proprietor, s. Blackford, 274 East Seventh
Street st. Paul, MINI.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Arabi says he didn't intend to whip Enp.
Land, but he wanted to show the red coeia
that he couldn't be snuffed out by diplo-
macy.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

One thousand ejectment DEGREES for
Lord Dillon's est:te are posted in Coun-
ty Mayo. The tenants have not paid
rent since 1879.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
Ip,1lOrs6.6 nv thu. CLERGY

We take pleasure in recommending DR..
Warmers White Wine of Tar Syrup to the
public, and especially to any public speaker
that may be troubled with throat or lung
disease. Rev. NJ. l.. BooHER, Reading, Mich.
Rev. J. T. JDDINGs. Albion, Mich.
REV. V. L. LOCKWOOD Ann ArbOr. Mich
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Henry Ciay's old homestead In Ash.
land, KY, after two generations. returns
TO his family. Il has just been purchased
by Major Henry Clay Mcdowell husband
Of the granddaughter Of the great states
man $.'$E
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

-! was troubled for many years with
Kidney Complaint, Gravel, &c. ;my blood
became thin; was dull and inactive;
could hardly crawl about; was an old
worn out man all over; could get nothing
to help me, until got Hop Bitters, and
now l am a boy again. My blood and
kidneys are all right, and / am as active
:.s II man Of 80, although am 722, and
have no doubt it will do az well for 9TH
ers of my age. It is worth a trial.
(Father)-Sundav Mercury.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
BROWN'S1RONB BIT

BROWNS IRON BIT
.'EPS acts t:-.e = charm
on the digestive organs,
removing all dyspeptic
symptoms, such as tast-
ing the food, Belching,
Heat in the Stomach,
Heartburn, etc. The
only Iron Preparation
that will not blacken the
teeth or give headache.
Sold by all Druggists.
Brown Chemical Co.
Baltimore, Md.
See that all Iron Bitters are made by
Brown Chemical Co.. Baltimore, and
have crossed red lines and trade
mark oa wrapper.
BEWARE OF 1MITA'rIcNS.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05
kidney Disease

Pain, irritation. retention inoontinence,
deposits, gravel, etc., cured by Buchupaiba
81. Send for pamphlet to E. 8. Wells, jersey
CITY, N J.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Persons whose blood has teen corrupted.
and the circulation deranged by foul secre-
tions-the result Of the disorlered che,nis-
try of the body-need for their publication
something like an inward baptism at the
hands of Mrs. Lydia e. Pinkham, whose
laboratory is at No. 233 Western avenue,
Lynn, Mass. Her Vegetable Compound is
fairly inundating the .ountry as with river
Of life.
Fl Genius and virtne. like diamonds, are best
plain Set
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Containing oil the essentials Of . true ton
ic. and sure TO give satisfaction, is Browns
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

The 1rst and only town-caock IN the state
Of Florida su1nomts the new courthouse
at Tampa.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

No lady or gentleman need suffer long
with eczema, letter, ring worm, or any
pimPly. rough. dry, scaly skin disease ior
Dr: G. w. Benson's Skin Cure is perfect
and reliable remedy for all skin diseases.
Sold by all druggists at 81 per package.
Mr.. Gladstone is staying at Hawardcn
with q large party.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

John Winkler, OF Stone Creek, O., carried
barrel Of f1oqr weighing 226 pounds three
miles in filty.livo minutes.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Madame de Steal: The greater part of
what women write about women is mere syc-
Ophancy to man.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

Explicit directions for every use are given
with the Diamond Dyes. For dveing Moss
es, Grasses, Eggs, Ivory, Hair, &c.
George Elliott: 1t is possible, thank hea-
ven! to have very erroneous theories and
very sublime feelings.
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

The great distinguishing feature of Red
ding's Russia Salye is its power to reduce in.
flanlmatiOn
The Worthington advance., 1882-10-05

A Virginia phyncian says be neve,
knew an habitual user Of tobacco TO have
the typhoid fever.