River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-06-22

may have contributed TO bring about
your condemnation. Accept, beg of
you, in the names of all of my fellow
citizens and in my own, this modest
gift. We heartily wish that it may be
useful to you during the last hours of
your terrestrial soiourn."
Mr.. Dux extended both his hands
and received from those of the orator
a superbly enameled massive gold
watch.
He weighed it in his right palm few
seconds, turned it over, and applied it
to his ear.
"Is it going?"
"Oh, yes" replied the donors in
chorus.
keep good timer"
"Oh, yes"
"Jeweled?"
Rather"
Horizontal escapement?"
"Oh, yes"
American bHilt?"
"You bet"
"Well, Pm sure I'm very much
obliged, but while you were about it
you might have given me a hand made
ticker"
Here the members of the deputation
saw that the series of explanations
were exhausted. After having shaken
hands with the courageous Mr.. Dux-
whom they passed by in Indian file
they discreetly withdrew.
A second deputation was ushered
into the room.
After the customary salute the lead
er of the procession spoke his speech
in these terms:
RESPECTED Sir, am the twin broth
er, and these ladies and gentlemen are
the nearest relatives and most intimate
friends, of late George Brown, whom
you slew on the night of the 31st of
August last, by sundry blows of a
sledge-hammer, in order to possess
yourself of nickle watch which he
had bought for $5.
Desiring to make known to the
public the sentiments of admiration
and respect with which your CONVEX
sion has filled us, we pray you to &C
cept our humble homage in the shape
of complete suit of clothes for your
own use. We will take it as an inesti-
mable favor, if you will wear them at
tomorrow mornings service"
James Dux elected q quid toward the
pile of bouquets heaped behind him,
and, having tumefed his cheeks with
a fresh plug of tobacco, he took the
bundle, toie off the paper covering,
and successfully unfolded the coat,
waistcoat, and trousers, examining the
texture of the stuff with the touch of a
connoisseur.
care these English articles warrant
ed, you know
ooh, yes" chorused the group of
relatives and friends.
--latest fashion,"
Buttons solidly sewn in-no slop-
shop work."
"Oh, yes"
But as he pursued his examination,
sudden creases puckered his forehead,
and in voice trembling with anger, he
exclaimed:
"Where are the braces? There amt
no braces to the trousers, no buttons to
the coat sleeves"
The members of the deputation re-
garded each other with an embarrassed
air. A whispered colloquy took place
among them. At last two of the
youngest of the party hurried out, and
the orator, regaining his presence OF
mind, gave Mr.. Dux his assurance that
the forgotten articles would be supplied
without delay.
"All right" said the assassin; ''let's
say no more about it.
At that moment q smothered sob was
heard.
1t came from one of the orphan
daughters left by poor George Brown.
"Oh, Mr.. Dux," she murmured amid
her tears, chow did you find it in your
heart to kill our good father"
at was his own fault" answered
James. Gle provoked me by making
an exhibition of that burned watch. ]
could not resist the temptation. Only
for that ALFRED time piece | should
have died of hunger, like man, be-
fore / would have dreamed of robbery
1t was more than imprudent-it was
downright immoral on his part"
s'The Browns were always too fond Of
ostentation," loudly declared fat lady
with acid face, who was no other than
the presidentess of the Society for the
Protection of Penitent Assassins
Poor man. she resumed, turning to-
ward Dux, "you are dying victim tc
the deplorable vanity of our relative
For my part l am of the emphatic
opinion that it is high time to pass 8
law interdicting the parade of articles
of value"
"That's n fact" assented Mr.. Hiram
III. Anthropologus, secretary of the so
ciety. "a saint himself could not re
sist. He only got what he deserved
But you, Mr.. Dux, tell me, please
when the temptation assailed you tC
kill George, in order to get his watch
did you suffer much?"
'eTerrible, sir, terrible. When saw
him pull it out to look at the hour,
thought he wanted to rile me. That
a thing, you know, no citizen OF TIM
free country can't stand without gettini
his dander up. 1t sort of affected MI
| in the stomach, first, then In the legs
then ia The head tried to resist, ant
even made an attempt to run away
| But can't tell how it came to pass,
wasn't equal to it; and when calmnes
returned / was STOPPING over the man
sledge hammer in my hand, and hi
skull was smashed No mat
ter, it can't be helped now that it
over. l forgive him from the bottom
of my heart"
Poor mani cried all the ladies pres
ent in tone of profound commisera
ton, and then began rivalry betweel
them as to who should give a fareweI
token to the condemned.
'sDo take this portmonnaie," sal
one.
s'And this flask of smelling salts,
said another.
"Here is my box of pulmonic waters
said a third. "They are sovereig
remedy against asthma and difficu
breathing"
i Dux took everything that was offere
him, but all went the way of the boz
quets before long.
A tumult in corner put an end