The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-09-29
: WHY WE LAUGH.

Talleyrand once said "What I have been
taught I have forgotten; what know have
guessed" In this last respect he was asew-
Ing society by himself.-B0ston Post.
Out West a man is considered nobody un-
less he has skilled his man." There is where
young physicians have the advantage over the
average man in migrating West.-LotreH
Citizen. si - sFas
81 don't see how you ladies can remain here
two months looking upoL the changeless
ocean," "But the men change" was the re-
ply of lady.
"Etiqutte," said society philosopher, I" is
to social intercourse as butter to bread, not
especially useful, but highly agreeable ad-
dition." In view Of Its artifcialty 1t Is oftener
oleomargarine only. ....... .. #
sIf 1t were customary to confer title upon
individuals of rank In literature" asked a
shallow but conceited journalist Of an old
one, "what would be?" "Barren of ideas,
my son." was the response.-Ci Cincinnati Sat.
Night. s4# ..e. l.4@E 3"
aJohnny," said the teacher, ga lie can be
acted as we'll as told. Now If your father
should put sand in his sugar and sell 1t he
would be acting a lie and doing very wrong
"That's what mother told him." said Johnny
impetuously, "and he said he didn't care q
damn.'-Wheeling Journal. ....a
Continental customs-The father of an
elderly damsel to manageable young man
"On the day that | give you my daughter
Adele / will deposit 100, ,000 francs with NJ.
T n. az Thov Ba .t, hat
suppose you give me the 100000 francs and
deposit Mile. Adele with Nj. I.afitte."-
Quiz. ..... ..... .... .a
| A woman In France slept seventy-three
days In one inning, and when che awoke and
learned that her husband had been taking
his meals at restaurant during all this
| time, instead of getting out Of bed at day
light aud going to the market, she was so
mad that she declared she wouldn't 60 to
sleep again as long as she lived. af
She said she wanted ticket to Wyandotte
and return, and the pale, gentlemanly agent,
with the black moustache, asked as he took
up the pasteboards: "Single?'' "It amt any
Of your business as know" she replied
tartly. al might have been married dozen
times If I'd felt like prov:din' for some
poor shiftless wreck of man." He doesn't
ask ladies If they want "siEgle" tickets any
more. He's afraid to. s5@' ~F
"Do they play tunes on fish horns, Medo-
RAP" Certainly they do. They play scales.
They also make sounds. One dollar for in
formation, please. No, pay here. Never
leave any money ct the business Office? Why
not? Well, If You knew what rastle the
editor had with the business manager every
rent day, you wouldn't ask "why not?"
Thanks, but there's fifty cents more now for
answering the question about the business
manager. The lever that moves the world
has 20 be kept creased some way.-Ha,sk-
eye. ...... ..-.-.rl u.. ...
"Do tell me what all this talk about free
trade and projection means, Henry" said
Araminta. "You know don't know any
thing at all Of these things pa is always talk
ing about, and II makes me feel awfIlly silly
sometimes when he has Squire Swain and
Judge Jones at the house TO diner. 1 can't
do nothing bat sit still and play with my
fingers, you know" So Henry told her In q
SOFT of chaotic fashion what he knew about
the subject that troubled her; and although
it Is hardly probable that she knew any more
about 1t when he had finished it was heaven
to Henry to have her look into his face SO
witchiDgly all the time he was talking, and
thank him with such emphatic sweetness
when he had concluded. Things were getting
along finely, i: he had only the courage TO
take advantage of them, but he hadn't, un-
til she cuddled up close to him and said
with sigh. "Pa believes I'm free trade but
/ am in favor of protection, Henry" Henry
ordered dress suit the very next morning.