The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-10-13

anu says she snaii nave seaiskin sacquel
-lCourier-Journal.
The Arabs favorite musical instrument
the loot. te
ssWhat is philosophyP' 1t is some
thing that enables rich man to say
there is no disgrace in being poor.
Why are the Germans like quinine
and gentianp Because they are two ton
les. tEa
Who was the first person in history
who had a bang on the forehoadp Go
liah.
II dess know what memory u.s." said
a little four-year-old. '.It's the ting /
fordet wiv."
Next we shall have coat-tail tlirta-
ton code. Having the tails covered
with mud will mean, II don't like her
father
''Our rooms are small" said she,
''but live i'm my husband. EYES,"
said her friend, II see you live in
fiat.
1t wasISidney Smith who restored up
on some one who had called him an ev-
ery-day man: '.Well, if am an every
day. man, you are a weak one."
They make banana ice cream now.
And it's so slippery that man has to lie
down on the floor and hold on with both
hands to swallow any of it.
An Iowa woman named her baby
after Queen Victoria, and the Queen
never even thanked her for the honor
conferred or asked if the child had red
hair.
A lazy fellow once declared in pub
lie company that he couldn't find bread
for his family. ''Nor L." replied an in
dustrious mechanic. II am obliged to
work for it,"
Once surveyor called at house in
Western town, and asked the house.
wife if there had been any stakes left
there for him. "No," was the reply;
s'we get our meat in town.
1t takes but thirteen minutes to lead
an elephant on railroad train, while it
takes twenty for any sort of woman to
kiss her friends good-by and lose the
check for her trunk.
ssAll the world stage, Sam, and
the men and women merely players"
'.Yes. massa, but if dat's so where you
goin' for to get yer audience and or
chistryp"
Why might one suppose that Webster.
the photographer, was an @stheticP Be-
cause he enthusiastically says in his
dictionary that the verb speak is to
utter.
A correspondent at Mount Desert tells
of lady's dress that is q perfect
dream" The nightmare part of the
business was probably enjoyed by the
man who paid for the dress.
Somebody writes us ''the body has
two buildings, two trees, two animals
and two fish. Thus-two temples, two
palms, two calves and two soles." Yes,
and tulips and toe nails.
s.Have a hack, STRIP vociferated a
the depot. The traveller looked at the
turnout and said: mo, not if I've got
to take the horses, too"
The Graphic says that burglars may
be kept out of any house by leaving the
valuables out at night on the front door
STEP" Which is all very we'll so far as
it goes; but suppose one has not the val
uables, then what?
'sOh! how my soullongs for freedom"
said the oldest Miss Bookworm, of Bos-
ton, seated on the rock at the Isle of
Shoals. 1.-THE yearning spirit within me
seems as if it would burst its bonds and
seek the future" "Susan," said her
father, rising, brushing the sand from
his clothes and moving toward the hotel
--"Susan, you've eaten too much and
are laced too tight" and he then meand-
cred up the beach.
A fashion item says the belle of the
period now wears at her waist belt a
little music-box, family playing single
tune. The average American girl can
put on enough airs without attaching
music-box to her waist.
A Philadelphia man who was going
away travelling promised his wife, who
was afraid to stay alone in the house,
that he would buy her dog. "Be sure
and get one that shores loud" said his
affectionate better half, sit will remind
me of Won while YOU are awav."
LAS for Mrs. So-and-so," remarks
one of the guests in salon where they
are passing their friends under review,
'sher worst fault is that she is bored
wherever she goes" "Her lack of
selhshness is still greater defect"
says another, s'for she insists not being
the only bored person in the COM
pany."
Suppose" said a lawyer to witness
he was trying to badger recently sup
pose / should tell you that could bring
dozen men of your town to this court
room who would say they would not be-
lieve you on oath, what would you sayp"
And calmly the witness made reply, II
would say you lied"
II don't miss my church as much as
you suppose" the Boston Globe reports
q lady as remarking to her minister,
who had called upon her during her ILL
ness, '.for i make Betsy sit at the win
dow as soon as the bells begin to chime
and tell me who are going to church,
and whether they have got on anything
new"
A lady whose husband was the cham
pion snorer Of the community in which
they resided, confided to o female friend