Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1882-11-10
Too Mean for Punishment.

Too Mean for Punishment.
"Well, well did everr' sighed his
Honor as he leaned back in his chair.
'Only one prisoner in the cooler, and
he nobody but an old man! Bijah,
| what are we coming to?"
I'm afraid the world is taking q turn
| for the better, sir"
''ls this Il good old man with q kind
| face and Il soft voice.
just wait till you see him, sir! He's
poison boiied dowL."
''Wcll, bring him out"
He was brought out. He was an old
| chap of sixty, and answered TO the
name of james Bangs. He wouldn't
walk out, so biiah brought him in his
| arms. He was scratching and kicking
| and sputtcring like Il eat. and when he
was placed on the mark in front of the
desl, he was red behind the ears with
madness. He kicked the sawdust from
| under his feet. waved his long arms
| about his head, and cried out:
I'll sue the whole tarnal pack of ye
| in lcss'n an hourr
''Fellow mortal" began his Honor.
in kind voice, ''fron whence do you
come and to what point do you travel?'
II won't tell We! | won't tell We n
single blamed thing!" howled the old
man.
Pilgrim DER lifc's troubled way,
how cam st thou to seek our cityT
That's my business! 90 where l
please and come when l want to, Go
ahead with your old lawsuit and see
| how much YOU will make ont of it!'
Il would" remarked the Court, after
Il long look ut the prisoner, Il would
that You were an old man with soft
! white locks"
Il don't kcer if you would! l pre-
fer to be bald-hcadcdn'
IL would that You had the soft voice
of one who feels that he is slowly glid-
ing down the path which leads to the
unknown"
"Well, l wouldn't! I've got the best
voice for driving oxen of any man in
America, and rs for gliding down the
path rm not on the glide"
"If you were only an old man who
loved his ppe-who-"
"rd give more for chew of plug
tobacco than all the pipes ever made"
''Old man, do you ever sit in the
shadows of evening and think?"
"Ncver! do all my thinking along
side of hay-stacks and in barns"
"YOu have not long to live
Il haven't, eh? Well don't you bet
any money on it! I'm as tough as
cOpper-bOttOmed wash-boiler."
Last night, when you should have
been sitting in thetwilight you were on
a drunk.
"What of it? If men make whisky
to drink some one will be fool enough
to drink it. Yes, was drunk"
"And fighting drunk. 1t took three
officers to bring you down"
ut would have taken seven if had
known what they were up to. They
lied to me. They said was invited to
a strawberry festival, and when they
got me down here they locked me up.
This old fellow with the big feet, whom
you call Bijah. had better look out for
me when l get loose. | hollered for
| water over two hours and he wouldn't
give me any. Judge, I'm cold pizen!
Pm the contankerous old grizzly on
wheels! Pm meanness over hot firen
IL guess you are, ard therefore |
shall let you go"
"Ain't you going to try me?"
''No, Sir. You are too mean to be
tried here"
"But insist"
Cant help it. You are at liberty to
go. 1t wouldn't be serving the other
prisoners in the Work House right to
send you up there"
''Sav, Judge. was drunk"
'Don't believe it.''
"Yes, | was, and Internally ugly to
boot. | deserve at least thirty days in
the jug"
= ''Well, you won't get 'em. 1t is my
duty to respect the feelings of the SUI
perintendent of the Work House, and
what could [ say to him after sending
you up there?'
Judge, it's your business to send
me up, and if you don't do it I'll raise
O row."
$50 ahead with your row. l refuse
to pass sentence on such an ugly old
man rs you are. Please fall outdoors"
Il won't do it. I'm just as good as
anybody, and I'll have my rights. !
demand of you rs free born citizen
that be sent to the Work House."
"And / reply as another free born
citizen that 1 won't send you there!
TO your way. Go off, and be ugly and
hateful and meanr'
Il won'tr'
But he had to. Bijah picked him up
and carried him to the door and dropped
him on the walk and held him there
until court adjourned. A mean man
stands no show in Detroit-not even to
get into its prisons.-Detroi Free Press,