The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1882-07-29

..And how are things in the Far West,
now?" asked a Brooklyn man of a
stranger he had picked up, and who had
been living out in the territories.
Bad" replied the frontiersman.
Things are not what they used to be.
Why, sir, they try man by jury now!
Yes, sir! Catch horse thief and lock
him up in a jail and give him just as fair
a trial as they do a man who murders a
woman! o, the whole country is broke
upr' so
''You surprise mer' replied the Brook
Ign man, who was more surprised by the
manner than the matter of the intelli-
gence. s
Exact! Where 1 live they've lynched
only one manin four years. and that was
for wearing a stand-up collar! And
they don't shoot any more! No. sir, if
two men have a row, they fight with
their fists, and the Sheriff sees fair play!
/ tell you this beastly civilization has
ruined the frontier. They arrest even
road agents now! Think of that! Road
agents! They used to elect them School
Trustees, and q stage driver is no more
account than Mayor is in BROOKLYN! /
tell you the frontier is deadn'
"But how is businessP'
Nothing doing at all. You see they We
got blue-ribbon lodges, and that knocked
business galley west. Absolutely moth
ing doing. Merchants are starving ever
since the temperance movement COM
menced. don't know what the coun-
try is coming tor
"Don't the temperance people do any,
thing for living?"
Nothing to speak of. o, they have
little shops and kind of trade among
themselves to keep each other going, but
Legitimate business is busted, tell you!
Why, sir, there hasn't over forty barrels
of whisky come into our town in two
months! That shows you how business
is. What do you think they had there
just before left?"
'rm sure l don't know"
"a church festival! You won't be-
lieve it; church festival! Right in the
heart of the town! The merchants got
together and swore they would not go,
and they stayed away. But that didn't
break it up! As sure as sit here, those
people went right along and had their
festival! That shows how things are GO
ing. Then friend of mine licked a
deacon one day. Fined him cash for it,
and he had to payr'
'Any gambling there now?"
Gambling! gambling!! Well, | should
say not! There isn't over eighty or hum
dred gambling houses in the town, where
it used to be the staple enterprise!
Gambling! I tell you everything is
dead. Why, they've even got ten-cent
pieces for change! Think of ten-cent
piecesr'
Elbow do you account for all this?"
1.-The newspapers did it! They would
blow about the country and tell what a
town they had, and now they've got it!
We were doing well enough, but out
siders found out that it was good place,
and in they came with their puritanical
notions, and knocked honest industry
higher stack of chips! Twas opposed
to the papers, and said they'd make
trouble, but they let 'em go on, and
where are we now?"
"Do you think of going backp''
whats the use? There's no trade al
all. Everybody's honest, and all making
money farming. I've got farm my
self, a hundred and eighty acres. but
that's no work for me. Legitimate en-
terprise is bustedr'
want to sell your farm?" asked the
Brooklyn man, cautiously.
''Sell it! rdgive it away! It's worth
$50, 900, and I'd take $40, 900 for it."
The Brooklyn man reflected a mo.
ment, and then the trade was consum-
mated. Later on the deed was trans
ferred, and the Brooklyn man went
home to tell his wife.
The frontiersman sent the following
dispatch:
Buck Dudley, Hole in the Wall. Montana:
Jump the Norwegian's claim tonight. Have
sold 1t to q sucker, and potted the cleanup
Buy Calamity Frazer's saloon for me on thirty
days. Leave on the train tonight
KICKER BAILEY"
Sometimes Montana business is better
in Brooklyn than in Montana, and an
able-bodied liar who doesn't lie too hard
can do a country as much good as a
whole territorial press that oyerdoes the
matter.--Brooklyn Eagle.