davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17
He Was Dead Gone if He Couldn't Get q
Divorce

.Jedge," said a colored man to an
Arkansas jurist, "wid some powerful
facts in my favor ken / get q divorce
Immediately from. a mighty bad wo-
manp"
"You can, by the production of GER
tain evidence and due legal course, Sc
cure a dissolution" replied the Judge.
Dissolution" repeated the dissatis-
fed husband. Dissolution. OATS one
oh de fines words l eber heard. Eff 1
had been in possession OBJ dot observa-
ton, sab, / wouldn't hab been beat for
justice of de peace. But, Jedge, 1 wants
de dissolution right now"
"What has your wife donep"
''She's been actin like a white 'oo-
man, an is gittin' above me. OATS why
yer hears my voice in dis wall OBJ COM
plant"
"How has she acted like a white wo-
manr'
''Why, she kisses a dog, sab. 1t was
all right so long as she simply went wild
white wimmin. an tried to run away
wild a preacher, but when she tuck up
wild dat dog l 'gun ter get sick. Now,
jedge, 'sposen yerself wus ter 90 home
an fin yer wife huggin' and kissin' a
dog, wouldn't yer sorter look out fur a
solution, as yer in high strung 'strono-
my termed it jist nowP"
II think. that l would" replied the
judge.
AN den, eff yer wife wuster set de
dog up ter de table an chaw beefsteak
fur him, wouldn't dat seem sorter out
rageous ter yer legal understanding
81 quite agree with you, old man."
"Wall, den, write out q divorce fur
me now"
II can't do it."
But, jedge, Use gone eff yer don't"
''WhyP"
Cease Use dun married anudder 'om-
"-ArkdnsaW IrdyeLer.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17
A Tough Witness.

During a recent trial, it was thought
important by counsel to determine the
length of time that a certain quarter Of
beef remained in an express-wagon in
front of plaintiffs store before it was
taken by the defendant. The witness
under examination was a German,
whose knowledge of English was limit
ed; but he testified in a very plain,
straightforward way to having weighed
the meat, and to having afterward car
ried it out and put it into the wagon.
Then the following ensued:
estate to the jury how long it was
after you took the meat from the store
and put it in the wagon before it was
taken away"
..Now l shoost cand dell dat. !
thinks bout dwelve feet. l say no near
er as dat"
"You don't understand me. How
long was it from the time the meat left
the store and was put into the wagon
before it was taken away by the de-
fendantP"
Nov l know not what you AK dat
for. Der wagon he was back up NIT
dat sidewalk, and dat's shoost as long
as it was. You dell me how long der
sidewalk was. Den feetp Dwelvef eetP
Den l dells you how long it was"
II don't want to find out how wide
the sidewalk was, but / want to know"
speaking very slowly, show long-this
-meat-was-in-the -wagon- before
-it-was-taken-awayp"
20, dat! Veil. now, / not sold my
meat so. / all time weigh him; never
measure meat, not yet. But l dinks
about dree feet. / know not, shentle-
mems, how is dis. dell you all l can,
shoost so good as / know"
"Look here, / want TO know how
long it was before the meat was taken
away after it was put in the wagonp"
Now you dry and get me in some
scrapes. Dat meat was shoost so long
in der wagon as he was in der shop.
OATS vot / told you. Dat meat vas
dead meat. He don't got no longer in
den dousen year, not mooch."
THAT will do"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17
Strength of an Egg.

Some years ago an engineer, now
prominent in the official management of
our great railroads, was experimenting
the construction of a new road in Penn
sylvania. After supper one evening he
strolled into the ''settin' room" of the
country tavern, where some twenty men
were seated around the stove, smoking
and chatting. A regular down-East
Yankee was expounding the remarkable
strength of the arch, its use and applica-
ton in mechanics, and illustrating his
remarks by paving q half-bushel meas
ure.
''You amt no idee," said he, show
strong the arch is if We set it right-if We
know how. Now, there's the egg
nothin's got a prettier arch than the
egg, and if you set it right it's. mighty
strong. Why, I kin set an egg on this
floor in SIGH n shape that We can't break
il with this half-bushel measure"
A general murmur of sneering fdisbe-
lief al around the room; but the Yam
kee was game.
II said l kin, and I kin, and I'll bet
the drinks for the crowd on it."
Our engineer hated a Yankee, and
though a reserved man, he could not
permit a Yankee to bluff a whole party
with such an arrogant and preposterous
statement, SO he quietly said:
II will take that bet"
An egg was brought in from the kitch-
en- and handed to the Yankee. He took
it and stood it upon the floor in the cor
ner of the room.
Our engineer did not ven attempt to
fill a square corner with a round meas
ure, but paid for the drinks and retired,
sadder and wiser. +.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17

Mr.. Nathan Appleton, of Boston, as
president of the Newport Society for
Protection to Animals, publicly stated
that hereafter the society will take steps
to prevent ~fox-hunting.
**"Help yourself and others will
help you" But don't fail to use
Kidney-Wort for all liver, kidney,
and bowel complaints, piles, costive-
ness, etc. The demand of the peo-
pie for an easier method of prepar-
ing Kidney-Wort has induced the
proprietors, the well-known whole
sale druggists, Wells, Richardson &
CO., of Burlington, VT, to prepare it
for sale IN liquid form as well as in
dry form.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17
Two Singular Mem.

A stranger with long hair, q white
coat, a white hat with a Grape band and
other evidences of lunacy, entered a
Griswold street restaurant yesterday
and said to the proprietor:
''Sir, let me explain in advance that
i am a singular man."
"All right, sir. A singular mans or
der is as good as any one else's."
II want six oysters ON the half-shell
-on the left-hand half, if you please"
The oysters were opened and placed
before him. and when he had devourcd
them he said:
"Now take six oysters, run them
through a clothes -wringer to remove
the dampness, and fry them for me in
olive OIL"
This order was also filled, when he
called for a cup of salt and water, added
milk and sugar and drank it down and
asked for q bill.
II also desire to explain in advance
that i am q singular man," replied the
proprietor. ''Your bill is 49,"
'Impossiblel"
Just So, sir"
But that is m~onstrousr'
perhaps 1T seems high, but that's
my singular way of charging for singu-
lar lunches"
'rn eve pay it?'
"Then I'll sadden your hearth :
The sad proceedings were about to be-
gin when the long-haired man forked
over and walked out. The lesson SEEM
ed to sink deep into his heart, for he
halted at a fruit store and, without any
explanations in advance, paid the usu-
al price for a banana and carried it off
without asking the seller to dip the ends
in roSe-Water.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17

The following notice by q Virginia
blacksmith indicates readjuster senti-
ment on the part of Moses partner:
''Notis: DE copartnership heretofore
resisting betwixt me and Nose Skinner
is hereby resolved. Dem what owe the
firm will settle wild me. and lem what
the firm owe will settle wild Moses"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17
For SLIPS City and Country and
Thirty Books.

On receipt OF sL25 we will send CITY AND .CogH-
TRY, one year-lhea above twenty books and the fol-
lowing ten books, ALL PosT PAID:
JEAN 1NGELow's Poems.
The CITIES OF THE New WORLD.
HESTER. By Beatrice M. Butt.
FANCY WORK AND HOUSE AD0RNMENT.
BELL BRANDoN. By p. Hamilton Myers.
THE CRICKET ON THE HEARTH. BY Charles Dickens.
THE LOST BANK NoTE. BY Mrs. Henry Wood.
MISSING. By Mary Cecil Hay.
THE YELLOW Mask. BY Wilkie Collins.
A BRIDE FROM TiE SEA. BY the Author OF Dora
Thorne."
century. The already very extended circulation OF
CITY N COUNTRY and the great demand Tor these
works enable us TO make this unparalleled offer.
CRY AND COUNTRY isa 2fpagc, Illustrated, Literary
and Agricultural monthly which Is destined TO
have an enormous circulation and tremendous In
fiuence, and is already q recognized leader. Any
one sending In the money who car. HONESTLY say
they are not perfectly satisfied with this bargain
can have their money promptly refunded. We
guarantee entire satisfaction. Money by PostO1ice
order or registered letter may be sent at our risk.
CITY AND COUNTRY CO.,
Az. aIs, a sal N. uish street,
COLUMBUS, OHIO.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17

With safety from the dangers Of sunguaton and without the injury uuses infict Those
wishing proof should send 10 cents for his book, containing licensees of bad cases before
and after cure also endorsements of professional gentlemen, Ministers, Merchants Farmers,
and others who have been cured Truses and Rupture sooner or later affect the nervous
and mental system, bring m organic diseases, impotmy destroy energy and social desires,
making the young old and the old useess Principal office at broadway New York. For
the convenience Of Western patients Dr. Shemanw will be at his Office, COR 4h md Market
Streets st. Louis, Mo, from November t to December 2oh Mo a
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17

mary Cailanan, a Texas widow, owns
10000 sheep, and the male members of
the community are to a man willing to
be 'Marv's little lamb"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17

A man at Runway, ~. D., tired 10
domesticate a blue heron. He lost one
eye, several pinches of flesh, a part Of
MS trousers and his bird, for in the
struggle for mastery he was obliged to
shoot and kill his pet. .
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1882-11-17

The recent decision of the supreme
court Of Florida, making all railroad
property in the state liable to taxation.
will add about &5.O00,000 to the taxable
property Of the state.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-04-22
CONDENSED TELEGRAMS.

THE Indian bill, with an amendment
appropriating $259, 900 for educational pur-
poses, passed the Senate March 80. A
/ joint resolution appropriating 100000 for
flood sufferers passed the House.
The Field monument to Ma jor An
Dire, at Tappan. N. Y, was partly destroyed
by dynamite, March 80, notwithstanding the
guard established since the DETACHMENT on
| Washington's Birthday.
JOHN KENNEDY and John O'Neal,
carpenters, fell from a scaffolding in Dem
yer, Colo, March 80, and were precipitated
a distance Of seventy-fve feet. Kennedy
will probably recover. O'Nea is a native
of Prince Edward Island, where he leaves
wife. He will probably die from his in
juries.
ALLEN Fox, wealthy citizen of
Louisville, KY, aged 81 years, mortally
wounded himself with razor the other
evening.
TRUMAN DUNHAM, President of the
Cleveland Linseed Oil works, an old and
honored citizen, was caught in machinery,
March 80, and killed. He wss alone in the
basement. where there was a large belt
which runs the grinder; in some unknown
way he was caught in the belt, carried into
the machinery and the body shockingly
crushed. Deceased had been trustee of the
Cleveland water-works many years.
j. w. SHEEHAN, young man stop
ping at the Metropolitan Hotel, Kansas
City, Mo-, was found dead in his room,
March 80, having taken poison. The fol-
lowing note was found on the table: 'My
fathers address is William Sheehan, North
Walpole, n. H" Sheehan had letter of
recommendation from the Smith Refrigera-
tor Manufacturing Company, of Michigan
City, Ind, speaking of him as sober, in
dustrious man. 1t is supposed he took the
dose in fit of dependency, finding himself
out OF work and among strangers.
Two inmates of the Dayton (Ohio)
Lunatic Asylum had n deadly struggle the
other night. One, named John Drummond,
had arrived that day. He was farmer,
living in Brown County, and the cause of his
insanity was said to be jealousy. He had
several times attempted suicide, and threat
ened to Kill others. On his arrival he was
quiet and tractable, but during the night he
became noisy and was removed to a strong
cell, in which was an old man named O'Con-
nell, of quiet habit. When the Waterman
entered the cell, toward morning, O'Connell
bounded out from the corner frantic with
excitement. He said Drummond had at
tackled and bitten him, so he choked him
quiet. Drummond was found dead on the
floor covered with blood, one eye gouged
nfhnrwiSn for hI,y Mutt tn1
O'Connell was also badly bruised and
scratched in many places, and one finger
WAS nearly bitten off.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-04-22

ern fronts like a volley of rifle balls. VIM
dows in the State house, United States Gus
tom house, Female College, Linsby Insti-
tute, the large hotels and factories, all the
ward school buildings, and many business
houses and residences were riddIed. Hot
beds, green houses and skylights gave way
like egg-shells and many valuable plants
were destroyed. Persons who were
exposed to the storm and not
in reach of shelter were badly
bruised about the head, and horses in many
instances became frantic and ran away.
The street-cars and railroad coaches all suf-
fered more or less damage to the windows.
Cleveland, Ohio, was swept by furious
hurricane, accompanied by vivid lightning,
thunder, hail and torrents of rain, and
number of unfinished buildings were blown
down. At Lexington, Ind, 4 hail storm
broke nearly every window in town.
THE contributions toward the Garfield
memorial hospital in Washington have so
far increased of late that General Sherman
andi Senator Window have called meeting
of the wives of Senators and Representatives
to arrange for national board Of visitors
and select vice presidents.
VIOLENT storms, attended with loss
of life and destruction of property, are re-
ported from Alabama, Georgia and Louisi-
ana.
WALKER HALL, the most beautiful of
the Amhert (Mass.) College buildings, wa
burned on the 18th, involving a loss of $780,
900. 1t contained the Shepard collection of
minerals, valued at 100000, and which can
never be fully replaced; full set of physi-
cal apparatus valued at 81 800, and fine
collection of oil paintings. The building
was in the Gothic style of architecture, and
was presented to the college by Provi-
dence (R. L. gentleman, whose name it
bore. The cause of the fire is unknown.
ST. PAUL and Winnipeg dispatches
record heavy snow storms along the Cana
dian Pacific. which block travelling until
warm weather. The storm at Winnipeg
was unprecedentedly severe. Pierre Du
chain, aged sixteen, who started across the
country with yoke of oxen, was showed
under near Cavalier, Dakota. His body was
recovered.
BLoDGETT, an ex-heeper in Sing Sing
Prison, n. Y, testified before the legislative
investigating committee, March 30, that he
resigned because he could not stand the
sight of all the brutalities praeticed toward
prisoners.
REPORTS received at Assiniboine,
Montana, by courier from Captain Kline,
of the Eighth Infantry, in command of the
column operating against the half
and Crees on Milk River, say: He struck
the Indians, March IA, q half mile below
Medicine Lodge, where thirty-fye or forty
lodges of the Little Pines band were en-
camped. By forced marches he reached
the first haf-breed village, and half an hour
later detachment of cavalry had destroyed |
eighty or ninety dwellings. The leaders
had fed. The half-breeds were badly de-
moraIzed, and are going north. The cavalry |
has been sent to the lower village, and this
movement will close the half-breed cam
paign, unless the Indians begin to show
themselves on the north side of the terri |
tory, when Captain Kline will drive them |
back over the line.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-04-22
MISCELLANEOUS.

JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL SWAIN
has submitted report to the Secretary Of
War on the Sergeant Mason case. He holds
that Mason is not lawfully confined, and the
proceedings Of the court-martial are in valid
DURING a severe gale on the 9th a
three-story brick house in Evansburg, Pa. :,
was blown down, and two men, VIM. Hunt
and Frank Mcdonald, were killed; John
Houser and VIM. Sharle were fatally in
iured, and five others slightly hurt. A
frame house in Pittsburg was demolished
and John Atkinson and Patrick Gavin were
fatally injured. At Wheeling, W. Va,
hailstones the size of walnuts pelted west.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-04-22
PERSONAL AND POLITICAL.

CHARLES II. REED had an interview
with Gen. Benz. Butler, in Washington, the
other day, trying to induce him to argue
Guiteau's case before the Court in general
term. Gen. Butler said he had no doubt of
Guiteau's insanity, and if he had time he
would make the argument. but he could not
possibly take hold Of it. He told Mr.. Reed
he ought to make the argument himself;
that he did not need any help. He may pos
sibly do so, he says. There is error enough
in the trial to set it aside if Guiteau had
killed an ordinary man.
Miss PHEBE CoUzINs, of St. Louis.
has applied to President Arthur to be ap-
pointed one OF the five commissioners to
visit Utah, and petition with numerous
signatures will be sent to Washington.
PRESIDENT ARTHUR has nominated
Sterling P. Rounds, of Chicago, to be Pub
lie Printer; Erwin A. ireland to be Mar
shall for the Eastern District Of Utah, and
Mrs. Virginia C. Thompson to be Postmis-
tress of Louisville.
PRESIDENT ARTHUR held his first pub
lie reception at the executive mansion on
the 2Sth. He was assisted by Gen. and Mrs.
uTdHt, NlTS. SeudtOT IeHUleGOn, Mrs. cam
eron, Mrs. Mcpherson, and few personal
lady friends. Col. Rockwell introduced the
guests to the President. The crowd was
enormous, every element Of Washington
society was present, including Cabinet Off
GERS, members of the diplomatic corps, JUS
tees of the Supreme Court, United States
Senators and Representatives and hundreds
of citizens with members OF their house
holds.
HUNDREDS of kilograms are being re-
ceived at the White House urging the Pres
ident not to sign the Chinese bill. They
come from all parts of the country except
the Pacific coast.
ALEXANDER III. STEPHENS states that
on the expiration of his present term in
Congress he will positively retire from pub
lie life.
MORMON leaders, including Joseph
Taylor and Joseph Smith, have placed their
wives in separate houses, to avoid arrest
under the clause Of the anti-polygamy law
which makes cohabitation with more than
one woman misdemeanor.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-04-22
COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY.

TREASURER GILFILLAN says there is
pressing need Of fractional currency.
The demands for it in small quantities come
from all parts OF the country. 1t is needed
for transmission through the mails of sums
Jess than 81, and for certain classes of bust.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-11-24
THE WAGE WORKERS.
Yesterdays Session Of the Ma
tional Labor Congress-.
Secretary Layton on worklngmen's Grie-
vanees-A Colossal Strike Probable
at Youngstown-The Pittsburgh
Miners Strike Failure.
ST. LOUIS IRON WORKERS TO GO OUT,

PITTSBURGH, November 23.-Robert d
Layton, Grand Secretary of the Knights o
Labor, left the city this morning to attend
the Labor Congress now in session al
Cleveland. He does not go as delegate
but simply to confer with the representa-.
tive labor men Of the country. Each State
pleads its grievance before the Congress,
and committees are appointed to urge leg
islation il the grievance 10 of sufficient i'm
portance. THE Pennsylvania labor men
have q grievance" said Mr.. Layton to
reporter before leaving. "They complain of
tence, for 'hindering' a laborer from
pursuing his calling. No suits under il
have ever been pushed 10 decision in the
Supreme Court, so that the labor organizer
may know what the word hinder means.
lt was for 'hindering' workmen that Miles
McPsdden was arrested short time ago
at Clearfeld. His trial has been repeatedly
postponed at great expense TO him. Men
have been arrested for parading with a
brass band because they collected a crowd of
laborers and hindered them in their work;
men on strike, who approached and rea-
soned with the men who came to take their
places, have been arrested, forced TO give
bail and procure counsel for trial, which
is never followed to final decision. What
we want is a test suit to settle what
the act means when it makes it
criminal to hinder working
man. We are willing to pay our share of
the expenses in carrying the first suit that
is decided by the lower courts to the
Supreme Court for definition of the word
hinder and an explanation Of several
other ambiguous provisions in the con-
sPiracy laws. True the word hinder has
been defined in law, but in this especial
act it is made use of to terrorize the work
ingman. If this law is decided against us
the Knights of Labor will swing like PEN
engage to reform il, and when we do that
We will carry the election. That is all. |
am going TO Cleveland simply to see the
hoysn -
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-11-24
THE LABOR CONGRESS.

Yesterday's Proceedings at CieVeiana.
CLEVELAND November 23.-The Labor
Congress this forenoon adopted resolution
introduced by Robert Howard, OF Fah
River, Mass. representing the Male Spin
ners Union, condemning the Pacific mills
Of Lawrence and Harmony mills OF Co
hoes, for forcing lockout by q reduction
of wages, alleged TO be unnecessary and
opposive. The legislative committee was
Instructed to urge the Incorporation OF
trades union. Tenement house cigar max
ing was denounced. In long discussion
IL was voted TO meet in New YORK on the
third Tuesday OF next August.
petition was received from the Wo-
mans National Labor Union petitionins
for representation. After discussion IN
the nature of an enquiry as 70 hether the
petition was actually 10 the interest ol
labor. IL was voted TO admit all bona noe
trades unions OF women.
After q somewhat acrimonious debate,
resolution was adopted, by vote oil - 70
| to admit representatives, from distric'
| organizations Of the Knights OF LABOR ou
| the same basis rs trades assemblies THt
| delegates declined 10 vote.
! A resolution was adopted eulogizini
| Jacob B. Perkins. OF Cleveland, for M
geperosiiy in providing for the families Q
I the men killed by the falling OF q derrick .
I building being erected by him. :.
a reaolution by MI, Geeenlee, of Detro'
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1882-11-24
SPORTING.
rx.sov.rnor Leland stanrord's Flyers

Ex.GoyernOr Leland stanfOrd's Flyers
New YoRK, November 2S.-The Turi,
Field and Farm of to-day, says: 'Ex-
Governor Leland Stanford is now in the
city, and on Wednesday visited the Gen
tlemen's Driving Park to see Henda Rose
and Wild Flower work. The track was
roupb. and far from elastic, but the two,
vesT.old trotted a half mile in l:lON ana
the three year,old in I:0SA. He has
made up his mind to ship
his stable back TO California,
but he would like to see Wild Flower In q
race with the Eastern-bIed three-yesr-oi -oids
before giving positive orders 10 Marvin.
He antborizes us to say that If race can
be arranged with Eva ARRAY, Aloath, or
sny other three-year-old, he will keep ms
stable here two weeks longer and start
Mild Fower in il. BE makes no oiier Tor
Hipda Rose, because there is no two
year.olds this side of the Allegheules ca
SabIe of trotting with her. II there IS no
disposition manifested to meet WIG
Flower, the two and three-year-olds Will
Commence the journey to the Paclhc coaS.
NEXT week, where they will he trottesi
against time, provided they are not weak
e1ed by the long ride. IL the weather ana
track ae favorable, he thinks Hii1a
| Rose can beat 2:2l. and he looks
| for Wild Flower to cut down the three-yeSr
| old record. Gov. Stanford informs US ne
| has some very promising yearhng anu
| tWo-year-olds at Paloatto, which Will come
Fast next summer and trot in the stakes az
| lexington and New York. The Governor
will reside in this city during the winter