The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1882-12-06

and independently isfound that the
party whip not what is cracked
up to be. ~ 49,
Merchants should %know that
honor, wealth and fame from no
condition rise. Lay in a good stock
and advertise.
Father Isaac, if you are good
to-day you may carry up some wood,
but if you are naughty you must
carry it up"
Houston Post on Marion Elmore /:
"Give a man an inch and he wants
an Ell. Marion has got the ell and
now she wants an El-more.'
Yes, said the country editor.
Il alwaystrT to mention the names
of as many toyns-people as possible
in each issue. Every one named is
sure to buy a paper" -l..r-
q. when Siayback had went to slap
the edloor.v says the Salem, Ark,
Lnf.yh%a-LIfa any one chad went"
ID SAP that editor, the ghost of
Lindley Murray would give a grunt
OF satisfaction.
Con. by a wandering Briton {:
What is the difference between the
city. fathers and the front benches at
abarlesdue show One is a board
of aldermen, the other is a horde OF
balder men r1iC'. .".L.
Pumpkin pie is in demand at the
office ofthe Milton Ky.) Free Press,
at least the editor offers six months
subscription TO the paper TO the
donor OF the largest pumpkin be
tween now and Christmas.
It is said the secretary of the
treasury will soon make a call for
the extended fivcs. We hope the
secretary may not be unlucky
enough to call in the extended
fives" of Mr.. j Sullivan of Boston.
An Iowa editor has been asked
by a corraspondent for an answer to
the question, EDo hogs payP" Look
ing over his subscription list he
finds That they do not. Those who
pay Tor then newspaper are not
A.pbysicnn was. called upon TO
attend a patent whom ne had never
met. Ne prescribed absolute rest"
"Why. exclaimed the patient, in 3
sur riBod tone Of voice, 81 am q
couhtty editor The physician |
then ned. a=aazl, f----te
They are indeed, an ungodly set
down ut New Orleans. They have I
long been accustomed TO base ball /
playing on Sunday, but to cap all
they have just turned a synagogue
into laqhdry. This puts cleanli-
aess ahead of goodness. AZ
The report that a custOm-house
official discovered a false bottom in
a country editors trunk, the hidden
space being filed with jewelry, dia-
mOnds and other precious stones,
10 d base SANDER. No country edi-
tor ever tried to swindle the govern
ment that way.
= IA dru miner for shoe huse went
TO sec his girl the other night, and
vuas confronted BY bulldog who
rents a room on the premises. They
looked into each others eyes, and
then a strange depression overcame
the dog, and he turned and skunk
away.
DIST Louis exchange says striped
Stockings May be they have in
ST Louis, but we have not noticed
ans body here wearing striped para
SOS on ther-at least, where they
used TO wear striped stockings. We
don't MT, t sstch On 10 the styles very
~ man with the ague: "Well,
cld man, what's the matter with
you 2h E'.0hrl have get the fever
and agne," "Do you shake much p
Shake well, / should say so you
should see me about four o'clock
in the afternoon if you want to see
some hard shaking" &All right,
IN come. around at that time, and
psrhaps.yOu will shake out that ten
dollar bin you owe me. "-RocheStsr
Past Express.
Bill Nye's Boomerang: ave do
not blame the Democracy for this.
We-arca little surprised, however,
and grieEed- IL viii interfere with
our wardrobe this winter. With an
overeoat-on Wyoming, plug hat
q pair Of pants on Penn
sylyania and boots % the general
results, 81 looks as though we would
probably 60 through the winter
in bed quilt and pro-
itMuMf meditation.
Chronic Kicker: :" Yes, we know
this isn't very mach Of a paper, not
half as COED 4 one as you could get
up. There isn't an editor on earth
who. could get up as good n paper as
you could, if you wanted to. But
hen you haven't got time, or You
lave Other business that You got
nt6a6y mistake, instead of beingau
sditOr. It's a great blow to the
country Can't you get off and
;ome and run this paper a week?
hAtknowledged the son impeach-
heiit AaTon mustn't touch the
Op Of the baby's head said
nothersfoa hnr hide fonr.y ear-old, =
she has a soft spot there that is
mHnaamr is,fhe FoungHtergazed :
{ Il curiously for n moment, and
hen asked ~ TDOaa all babis have
Off spots ON Their heads ~ - Yes" ]
Did papa have soft spot on the
Old of his head when he was a
lapY p Yes" replied the mother, :
gftsi q sfglr, and he has got it yet. "
md the old man, who bad over