Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1882-11-25
PLEASANTRLEA

corn and wheat.
AN election, like a circus, is generally
carried on under canvass.
WHEN a girl rejects an offer Of mar
rage she goes Though slight-of-hand
performance.
The man who was crooked in the
cradle Of the deep" must have slept be-
tween sheets Of water.
AN advertiser in Texas calls for "an
industrious man, as boss hand over
5000 head of sheep, that can speak
Spanish tluently."
MARRIAGE" said an unfortunate
husband, is the churchyard of lovers.
And you men, replied his wife, care
the grave-diggers."
WHY is paper money more valuable
than coinp Because you double it when
you put it in your pocket, and when you
take it out you find it increases.
SAILORS frequently mutiny for an in
crease in their allowance Of grog, and
bread riots are Of common occurrence,
but the only strike for water on record
was when Moses smote the rock.
A YOUNG widow was asked why she
was going to wed SO soon after the death
OF her first husband. ooh, la!" said
she, 81 do it to prevent fretting myself
to death on account of dear Tom p
"IaL go if see fit p was the e1cla.
nation of Mrs Tweezers, as her husband
demurred at her attending ball; ON 20
if l see fit" every well, then you'll
see fits if you go |" was the crusty re,
ply.
t." WHERE is Block Jslandp" Polite
American In Rhode Island" t.
But how can you put one island in an.
other island9" p. A." Oh, that's
nothing. We accomplish anything in
this country"
A YANKEE woman recently married
Chinese laundryman, and in three days
thereafter the happy Celestial appeared
at BARRIERS shop and ordered his pig.
tail cut of, saying in explanation
TOO muchee Yankee"
WHEN a Boston girl is presented with
abouquet she says: ooh, how delicious,
ly sweet! Its fragrance impenetrates
the entire atmosphere Of the ROOM" A
down East" girl simply says: at
smells scrumptious thanks, Reuben"
PosroPrIcE clerk; "Here your let.
ter is overweight" Pat "Over what
weight" Postoffice clerk: "It's too
heavy; put another stamp on it." Pat:
"Och, git out wild yer foolin' Sure II /
put smother stamp on, won't it DO heav-
10 still?"
ANYTHING newP" asked q reporter
OF an acquaintance. Eyes, the heaviest
kind Of an item. See that window up
thereP" The reporter nodded. well"
said the man, Sin that room is the new.
est thing in town; boy baby; Just
born; doctor just gone. You can't aud
fresher item"
A MAID, - BY court records doth sp.-ss
whom ~, 900 made % dear,
Unto her waiting lover stsrniy said,
"Forsso the weed before We 90 70 wed.
For smoke take aAme IN b that a.ms's br.shs
fsnnAr.
To have your Anna, give up your Havana"
The wretch, whom thus she brought him 70 tAs
scratch,
Lit his cigar and threw away the match
"AsD the style Of beauty Of our
American girls, said Mrs. Glover TO the
German nobleman at the Ocean House,
Newport; "what do you thinb Of il.
Baron ?" "Fell, I was full mid snthu
siastics. Mrs. Glober. and nefEer dinks
dot style was bossible. DO you know
the name Of good shoemakers half
. hole NIT de toe Of my boot"
"DD you observe that woman 2" aAid
. gentleman 70 companion. ~ sharp
featured female swept hsughtily BY
them. The friend nodded 70 indicate
that he had observed her. "Well, Tn
indebted 70 her for the chisf hsDpinsas
Of my hfe." "Indsed; ! oAn IMAGINE
the gratitude you zeal toward hs."
"No you can't; only her present hus-
6and can do THAI Ten jean go !
aaksd her hand in marriage end ~ ~
oassd me-"
THE highest a. well IA the nos,lest train