davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22

IT Is related of Siebenkees, an eminent
/ German scholar, that having finished
reading one of his beautiful imaginings
to bis wife, who appeared to be listening
with bated breath and eyelids cast down,
he closed the book with inward satisfac-
t1on at the completion of his labors
only to hear the sharer of his Jokes ex-
claim: "My dear, don't put on your
left stocking to-morrow-the hole
in it."
APRoPos of the rivalry between the ex-
plorers of central Africa, they tell a
story of the traveller and Orientalist. de
Sauley, who once upon a time came
upon ruined city in foreign land
which he fondly believed had escaped all
previous discoveries. To his horror.
however, he found inscribed on stone
the name of hated rival above the
words, 81 was here in 1885," EI was
here before you," wrote the disguised
explorer, triumphantly, and went on his
way rejoicing.
IT is announced that in his solar re-
searches Prof. Langley finds the abso-
lutte color of the philosophers is blue and
tnat the maximum energy in the visible
spectrum is il the region of the orange.
This discovery is timely, as it will tend
IN a marked degree to mitigate the dis
appointment which exists in political
circles at present. To know that the
absolute color of the photosphere is
blue, and not greenery- gallery, is well
calculated to reconcile defeated candi-
date.-NOrriStosO1 Herald.
JAMES NICK, Decatur, H.: HPlease
give me the gross receipts of the postal
department of the United States for the
last fiscal year." We cannot do it,
James! The gross receipts of the postal
department for the last fiscal year have
been sQuandered by the voluptuous gov
eminent OF the United States in paying
postmasters, and route agents, and de-
livery clerks, and the wear and tear on
lock boxes; therefore, we haven't got it
to give to you. If you feel like COM
promising and taking less, let US hear
from you again.-1er0s SIftings.
"What makes you so late in bringing
home the COWS ?" asked farmer of his
son, who stood before him trembling
like saw-mil. "I couldn't help, sir;
you see they got in the cornfeld that :"
"Hey? What's that? Got in my corn
field, hey?" yelled the irate granger.
Don't you know any better than to let
them do that? Got IN my corn"
"No, sir! No, sir!" shrieked the lad,
as the OK goad was uplifted. "They
got in the cornfeld that belongs to Dea-
con Jones" "Well, that makes a
mighty big difference" said the soil TIL
Ter, his face relapsing into a satisfied
grin; snow guess the deacon will keep
his COMPOUNDED pigs out of my potato
patch"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
He Wanted His Pronerty-

A Brooklyn colored man ironically
known as IS Snowfall, +" after having fol-
lowed for many years whitewashing,
boot-blacking and other pursuits of diff
ferent colors, has come into possession
of $50, 1000. About half century ago
his father bought lot which subse-
quently passed out of his possession.
The son recently brought suit to regain
it. He won. but the upper court re-
versed the decision. He tried again
and won; the decision of the other court
being again adverse. The third jury
went against him when the upper court
gave decision in his favor. The fourth
jury gave him verdict and the upper
courts sustained it. He was so impa-
tient to get his property that before the
sheriff had given him possession he was
arrested for the illegal election of ten
ant. He has already increased the rent
of his tenants to repay himself for his
legal expenses.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
Another Panegyrlc on Roast Pig.
lFrem the Atlanta lGa.l Constitution. ]

(Frem the Atlanta (Ga.) constitutional
At dinner the other night, after the
trash had been disposed of, two roast
pigs, each with an apple in his mouth,
were brought in and set in front of the
host and hostess. / had not seen such a
thing in years, but it was a savory re-
minder of many lavish board under
which my youthful legs had twined
about each other IN ecstacy. The late
Senator Hill loved nothing so well as a
plate of gatherings. [ have seen Gov.
Herschel V.Johnson eat pigs ear with
infinite relish. What were Gov. Browns
collards q refuse to spell it coleworts)
to that great and good man if underlying
his historic love for this fine escuIent
there was not an unconfessed love for
hogs jowl? Gov. Stephens dotes on
broiled ham, and the nearest to death
Gen. Toombs ever came was from indi-
gestion caused by overeating of head
cheese; so that a little more hogs head
head might have prevented secession.
More than one historian holds that Lees
army was. never whipped until the bacon
had given out and it had to fall back on
beef. Mayor English frequently greases
his distinguished chin with fatty bread,
and it was at a governors table that [
saw the sucking pigs that evoked this
train of memories. st
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
o, Lord, Rub the Rust OFF.
From the Methodist.

DR.. j. M. Reid, secretary of the Mis-
sionary Society, tells story relative to
himself. "Once, when editor, he was
invited to preach in Chicago. He was
taken to the church by good brother,
who landed him there early, and, no one
being present but himself, he took a
seat alone in the church to mediate and
rest for the evening sermon. It was just
at dusk, and he heard persons engaged
in prayer service in an adjoining room.
He listened. Presently loud, Jealous
brother engaged in prayer. He touched
upon various matters, and invoked the
Divine blessing upon them, including
6 the speaker of the evening"" DR.. Reid.
For him he prayed very much as fol-
lows: so, Lord, bless him who is to
speak to us this evening; he is poor,
weak man, but make him a power. Bless
the message that he shall bring. We
know he is only an editor, and that he is
rusty; but, 0, Lord, rub the rust off. +"
DR.. Reid said that the man prayed earn
estly, oblivious to the fact that :" the edi-
tor" was listening; and, as an emphasis
to his prayer, he (the DOCTOR uttered a
hearty "Amen."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22

week or so. Two of them were born in
the seventh story of an immense iron
building, just under the roof. One OF
them to my certain knowledge has never
been down in the street at all. That's
fact. It will be down some day. 1t
was born only last week. Where do
you think the childrens' playground
is? It is the roof, and a rare, good
yard it is too, with flowers growing on
it, and everything just like good big
paved yard There is a high ledge
around the four sides, so there is no
danger of the youngsters falling off.
And there are clothes-lines there, and
tubs standing about, and clothes-pins
lying on the ground-everything SO
natural you might easily imagine your
self in somebody's back yard. Those
children seldom see anything of the
world down below, and their mother
hardly ever does, for she has her hands
full taking care of the youngsters.
There is a nice secluded life for you,
with no danger of annoyance from pry-
ing neighbors. There is something at
tractive about it, too. Just think of
the janitor at dark shutting up the whole
pace duO UdLI1uS tuc UAS AOh uOOAos
with himself inside. There he is with
his family about him, and all the world
securely locked out. It is as good as
living in a castle, with the bridge drawn
up and the moat full of water. But even
if the outer doors are locked the janitors
are not always shut in from all the
world. There is block of buildings in
one of the principal business centers of
the city all about the same height.
Each building has it's ianitor, and each
ianitor has his family. When the outer
doors are shut and locked, and no out
slider can by any possibility make his
way in, the Janitors' families begin to
visit. The roofs form their avenues and
boulevards, their grand promenade.
There is something signally curious
about that way of living, isn't there;
having your neighbors dropping in
through the roof, instead of coming
through the door? 1t is something like
the way of living of the old cave-dwell-
ers in the southwest.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
PRAYED for the Wrono Dead.

It was lately decided to build NOR
tuary chapel at Gallipoh, where thou
sands of French soldiers were buried
during the Crimean war, and to transfer
to that place the bones of those who
where buried at Abydos. Accordingly
a detachment of soldiers haue been en-
ployed in exhuming and collecting the re-
mains at Abydos, but their operations were
suddenly stopped a fortnight ago by the
discovery that they were at work in the
British instead of the French cemetery,
over the graves of British and not French
soldiers. This led to further inquiry,
when it was ascertained that for the last
fifteen years the Able attached to the
French consulate has been saying mass
es in the British cemetery at Abydos
under the impression that it was the
French cemetery.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
A Mania for Roses.

The late Fl. d. Hirst, of Germ antown,
Pa, has such passion for roses that he
collected them at great expense from
every part of the world In which they
grow, and with his own hands cultivated
them so assiduously that it is believed
the care of them undermined his health.
He worked among them early and late,
before he went to business In the morn
ing and by the light of lantern at night.
But he could not take them with him
over Jordan, and the collection, num-
bering fifteen hundred specimens and
all the varieties known to horticulture
lists, was sold at auction. The bushes
brought an average price of $50 hun
dred. 1919
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
THE LITTLE BANANA PEEL
BY hoBERT ]. BURDETTE.

IiEe bar of beaten gold
L CLEAN in the summers sun;
axn little, know, but think can throw
A man that Will weigh ton.
send out no challenges bold,
blow me no Wanting horn,
But foolish is he who treadeth on me;
Eell wish he had meier been born
Like the flower of the field, vain man
Eaoeth forth at the break of day,
Bat when be shall feel my grip on his heel
Like the stubble he fadeth away;
For lift him high up in the air,
with his heels where his head ought to be;
With a homecoming crash he maketh his mash,
And know he's clear gone upon me.
ara scorned by the man who buys me:
am modest and quiet and meek;
Though my talents are few, yet the work that do
Has oft made the cellar doors creak.
I'm blood red republican born,
And nihilist fearless be
Though the head wear crown, would bring it,
pride down,
II it set its proud heel upon me.
-Hdrper'S Magazine.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
A. Remarkable Woman.

The Mecklenburg (Va) Democrat
makes the following almost incredible
statement, "There isnow living in this
neighborhood negro woman who soon
after the close of the war had the misfor-
tune to loose both her hands, just above
the wrist, who can sew, thread her
needle, knit, spin, cook, clean up the
house, write squite well, and pick up a
ten-cent piece off glass. [ have seen a
pretty patchwork comfort which she
made without hand OF finger. She APP
pears to be happy and contented with
her lot. She dresses very neatly. andsis
always tidy. Itappears that the sinews
that were once used for the opening and
closing of the fingers are now used IN
the place of hand and fingers to grasp
and hold objects at her will. This is
strange and wonderful; nevertheless it is
So" Ell -
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
DOMESTIC ECONOMY.
BAKED HAM.

Make crust of water and -four, roll
one-haf inch thick; soak the ham over
night and scrape well; cover entirely
with the crust SO the juice cannot escape
and bake it till done; remove all the
crust before serving.
DEssING FOR POULTRY.
Placein pan small loaf of baker,
bread, one-half cup Of butter, the yolks
OF four eggs, pepper, salt, little sum-
mer savory and two onions sliced and
fried brown; pour over boiling water
enough to wet it thoroughly, then mix.
SQUASH CREDIBLE CAKES.
Two cupfuls of cooked squash that
has been passed through a sieve, a scant
pint of milk, two beaten eggs, two
spoonfuls OF sugar, pint of sifted flour,
teaspoonful and a half of baking
powder and little salt. Beat together
until smooth and light.
COOKIES WITHOUT EGGS.
Take two cups of sugar, one cup of
butter, one cup of milk, one even tea
spoonful of soda dissolved in the milk
hot water may be used instead of milk,
If it IS thought advisable; use -four
enough to make a soft dough, roll thin,
and bake IN a quick oven.
CHICKEN CHEESE.
Two chickens boiled tender, chopped
not too fine, and seasoned with salt and
pepper. Boil hard three or four eggs,
and slice, with which line moulds. and
pour in the chickens, adding the liquor
in which they were boiled. When per-
fectly cold slice for luncheon, or Sunday
tea or for sandwiches.
CABBAGE DRESSING.
Mix a teaspoonful of dry mustard
with half teacupful OF vinegar. Add
one tablespoonful of sugar. Melt the
same quantity of butter, and mix with
two well beaten eggs. Stir this gradually
with the vinegar, add salt to taste. Place
over the fire, and add pint of finely
chopped white cabbage. Bring all to a
boil, and put away. To be eaten cold.
CANNING RHUBARB.
For two years past, at our county
fair, there has been rhubarb exhibited,
canned in way Which to me was a novel
one. [ inquired of the lady who canned
it her mode, which is as follows: She
cut the stems the length of the jar
(Mason's was used) and packed them IN,
then pumped cold water over them,
sealed In the usual way, and kept IN a
cool place. Those who have eaten of it
pronounce it superior 20 that cooked be-
fore canning. -Mary e. Cole, IN the
Rural NeW Yorker.
HONEY.
Pure honey should be used unsparing-
ly by every family. 1t is no longer a
luxury to be enjoyed only by few, but
it is sufficiently cheap to be within the
reach of all. It has properties which
make it valuable food. 1t differs from
alcoholic stimulants, which dull the in
tellect-on the contrary it produces a
bright intellect as well as a healthy
body. Children are very fond of honey.
and one pound of it goes further than a
pound of butter. 1t has the peculiarly
of keeping good, while butter often be-
comes rancid and injurious to health.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
The Father of the Bean-BIower.

The bean-blower with which the mod
ern school-boy loves to torment the
children round about him and his teach
er on the platform, is only feeble imi-
tation of the " sumpitan," with which
the original Dyaks of Borneo go to war.
The snmpitan is a blow-pipe about five
feet long, and the arrows, which are
made of wood or fish bones, are thin
and sharp, and are generally dipped In
the poison of the upas tree, which,
though virulent, is not always deadly.
This singular weapon is used with the
greateet accuracy at range of twenty
yards, but it will carry hundred.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22

PROFESSOR: "Your pronunciation is
very poor, sir. For instance: that word
you used just now, arrears, you accented
on the last syllable. But it has two RS.
hasn't it?" ent:-"Yes, sir, three!'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22

WHEN you can tell persons character
by the palm of his hand, you can pick
out a good horse by looking at an old
buffalo robe. Free Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22

''DE overshoer viii now be played by
de rubber band" said the colored con-
ductor. Boston Commercial Bulletin,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22
ODD WAYS OF LIVING.

Qaser Features of Metropolitan Existence
Homes on the House Tops--Habits of the Loco
motive Euqineers-.-Life in the Turkish Bathing
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1882-11-22

fact, digestive; but the advantage of
this provision is wholly lost by cooking,
for the heat employed Immediately de-
stroys the associated ferment and the
cooked oyster has to be digested like any
other food, by the eaters own digestive
powers. DR.. Walliona Roberts.
AN IMPROVEMENT ON NATURE s DIET.
The fact that all animals, even the
herbivora, are at first nourished on diet
OF a milk, which must be considered as
purely animal, led M. Regnard to sug-
gest that an animal diet might be en-
ployed with advantage at subsequent
epoch in their history. The idea is not
new, but attempts to verify it by, for in
stance, feeding horses on meat raw or
cooked, invariably failed in consequence
of the disgust which this aforementioned.
1t occurred, however that an animal sub
stance might be utilized certainly
highly nutritious, of which tons are
wasted weekly-viz., blood The prob
lem was how to present it to the animal
In such form as not to occasion disgust
The blood was heated TO 100 G. and the
coagulum thus obtained was pressed
and rapidly dried in a stove and pow
dered In coffee-mill. 1t was found to
keep well and to be destitute of odor and
taste, and was given mixed with other
food in doses varying from ten to eighty
grammes daily. The experiments were
made on lambs which had been aban-
doned by their mothers. Three lambs
we're kept on the ordinary diet of beet
root, hay, etc., and to three others the
! powdered blood was given. The first
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
coNNUB1ALITIE5.

4 recent advertisement in u taris paper
runs; "Princes, dukes, counts, Niscounts.'
and others who wish TO marry rich Amerl'
csn young ladies, write inthe first instance
ia all confidence and SO on.
4 Nevada girl, who had q must'che'
tried 10 remove IL with u caustic prepara'
tion on her wedding day. The hair came
oT' also the skin, and the lip was horribly
swollen. She was married privately, AND
was not kissed. Il, n
The girl OF Geneseo, n. Y, are IN /"
sorry plight. There are 2OI oil marr'AE.,
| able age who look with dlsmay upon Wv
6fty.ive bachelors who alone make UP Vne
balance of power, and there IL q serious
debate goirg on as TO how n proper auJus''
ment Of difficulties may be elected
Emory Thomas sent to Mary Brown, a.
jackson, Mich, 81 X for n dress "a q pres
emit. He wished to marry her, and sh'
was inclined to consent; but when sh'
learned that the silk was part OF the BOOT
of a burglary she became the princips
witness against the wooer, and he was sem
to prison for seven years. But h nay
become reconciled, and n few days IN
prison chaplain joined them in wtdiooh:
Fashionable wedding card ceremonie
might be simpliGed. They have gone =
|, he length of enclosing the cards oil IN
, bride. the groom, the brides father u,
: brides mother, the young married coup
. AZ home, and, finally, OF the olergSma
9 performing tho ceremony, each in n sep'
1 rate envelope, and all the envelopes II
n closed in one large euveloye. why NJ
col m n regular ticket? Make the nomir
a ot;ons unanimous 90, V acclamation,
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
lHpmbuesod Again.

saw so much said about the merits
of Hop Bitters, and my wife who was
always doctoring, and never well, teas,
ed me so urgently to get her some, J
concluded TO be humbugged again; and
| am glad | did, for in less than tive
months use of the Bitters, my wife
was cured, and che has remained SC
for eighteen months since. l like suci
humbugging.-H. T., st. Paul
piCnear Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
p,,,es s. omana Street R. R

ru.n,u prgs Leave omaha.
a n m, 10 a M, : o m, . a IN, 10 q IN,
-" ~, M. IN NJ, u Il u nj, u M, Up IN, up
~ n, lp'm. ~ IN, & y M. m, / IN, Bpm, Il p III
street cars run half hourly to the Union rac'n,
ponot, ON SUNDAY the cars begin their TIPS ~
o O'Clock a. M, and run rogi ar'N uurals NV ""a
at ., ~, > and 5 oc ock, ana run 10 Guy '""''
,r>cept sundays. Except Saturdays, Except
| Mondays.
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
Phr.innI %SnfTorinr.

No one can realize, except by personal
experience, the anguish of mind and BODY
endured by sufferers from dyspepsia, inuicc
gestior, constipation, aud other diseases OIL
the stomach, BuRDock BLoop biurEnS
are n positive cure for this direst OF oil ais-
Drica 81 M.
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
u DAILY BEEmsA1UKDAY, SEPTEMBER l6

above the mud" might certainly be
introduced with decided advantage in
these days of short skirts and dis.
,la,ad aulles
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16
oouNC,L BLUFFS RAILROAD
TIME TABLE.
om,,oo. Rcck isL,Np ,Np rAc'''c.

cI, eco, RoCK ISLAND ANp rNcific'
Dcpart. NrrNo'
Atlonti, IN. so y m Pacific ~! alb a m
ia and Mail .q2S a m EN and Mai, .'tan Y w
u. Moincs 90 ..11j a M pcs Moincso' 'f'"F "
,mc,Go, BURLINGTON NNn 9r'NcN'
n,,ort Arrive.
Atlantic EIf. $50 pm Pacific EN.....gsun y,
Mai and EN 800 am Mail aud ~ % w. w ~,
y. Y. EN.....4OOp pm Nch has hN"e'-V W.
ouCAGn ,Np ~oRrtwr>rtRN
n.,,-, Arrive.
Atlantic ElE. .5i5 m Pacific "! .9;i' a M
Mai and ~ .a2O u IN Mai aud ~ 100 W.
Accom-. (Sat.). $50 IN Acc"u'. NNon'l.i'''P ."
KANSAS clry, ST. Jor tSp cotNc't n1'fFs'
Depart. N''''' nj
Mail and ~. .g,l a m Express. ,.'''N"o y "
Express. ,..g:lOp m Mail ana E\'' "'''f "
uNioN rNcitiC.
Depart. Nr'N'' 81,
| n,it, ....llSOa Daily EN..... wa y "
| Ni<cd....... GOO IN Mixed ,......' SV5 ~
| Trriyht. 49,. S.uO a IN Freight. .'l2'5oP "
wR,su, 81. LOTS ASH rNcitlc.
Depart. Nr.N'' %, ,
"'"', pat ANN Cannon HaI.ll;u1 e
sioux cuy NNn rAcfic
Depart. ~, o.,o u
For SiouN City. 1:t a nj trW SUI ~ti,G,oro !
For Fort Niohrarl. trm ro'' G.5n n
nc" rrs,ri 10 n m From st. raul..ss5O a
cnic,Go, MILWAUKEE AND II, WV"
Depart. h'NN r,. ~
Omaha daily bee., 1882-09-16

BROWNS IRON BlTTERS is
a complete and sure remedy for
Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Malaria,
Weakness and all diseases requir-
ing a true, reliable, non-aIcohol'c
tonic. It enriches the blood, gives
new life to the muscles and tone
to the nerves.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1882-10-27

A sta4eusnt Of suoh an sxsrsordina.y
character appsaS. In q peaor publiahed
IN the city Of 6ea4tis csilgd s1he Eren-
ing Herald" under date of October 25sh.
1857, that sslf-rssuscs and . ssnss of
duty 70 the Organization Of which Sts-
vens Post, No. I, q. A. r, u . oompo-
rens part, compele "a 20 nofiee Il. ein-
ply 20 the extent Of eaviue that no gentle
man Who sddssessd The Post e the
foraQiuQ pnrtv. 9ivnn b. II On IT, even
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1882-10-27

Our remarks published few days
sincs upon the subject Of the possibility
Of the selection Of a majority of Dem
ocrats for tho incoming Legislature
have already attracted the attention OF
our Rspuhlisan fellow citizens. 1t may
b ct down ~ fixed fact that our po-
litioal friends do not intend TO allow the
opposition TO have walk over. While
msasufably indifferent TO the political
beliefs a candidates for county ofncera,
and anxious only that competency and
honesty ehall b the qualifications foz
ofEcsholders, the old guard Of Republi.
oanism in this Territory realize the fact
that judicioua selections have been
made in tho persons Of the gentlemen
put forward for CouAoilmsa and Rep
rsssntatives, and they propose TO elect
them. The sitnatioo h perfectly under.
ateod, and the vesin0 will b done on
The 7th Of November in accordance
With that understanding. Our Indie
psndsns frisnds mus pat athicker "
nserinQ on their dyed-in.the-wool DEM
ooratic garments II they really desire "a
assist in framing the law4 o. make thu
appostionmena IN The Territorial IeSis
lature Of 1883. Az for the flank move
mont they propose 10 execute, there il
nothing in IL. Tho rear and both
wings of the army Of freedom 10 tos
carefully guarded to permit surprise
The nh Of November viii sustain oul
visWu Of the oAaa.