Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-09-06
Eating il Out.


1t was when / was travelling for
Fayence & Co., the crockery house,
that / heard of this Jenkins, who had
set up third-rate restaurant, and
by some mistake had got credit for
small bill of about forty dollars
which he showed no intention of pay
ing. Learning that the book keeper
had given up trying collect it, | got
permission from the old gentleman,
Fayence, to have little fun out of it,
and rigging myself up as solid sub
stantial citizen with a suggestion of
the Sunday school superintendent
about me, l provided myself with
certain papers and descended on Mr..
jenkins. represented myself as be-
ing possessed by the benevolent idea
of entertaining lot of poor people
with hearty dinner, and asked if he
would figure on the job. He jump
ed at the job, and agreed to give
them their fill for fifty cents head.
l then went out on the street and
after an hours foraging, returned at
the head of company such as l
never before had the honor to appear
"a collection of about seventy-fve
full blooded tramps, hardly one of
whom had eaten a square meal for a
month, and the uncertain and inter-
mittent serving of whose rations had
developed an india rubberness of the
stomach which make it possible on
occasion for them to encompass the
supply of whole season.
Jenkins face fell when he saw
the famished tramps, but he had
got good price and couldn't "squeal." "
| had given them directions through
one whom / may call my tramp-in-
chief, but bless you, they needed no
hints. They began at the top of the
list and hung to the first item until it
was only an empty name, then they
passed to the next and served it like
wise, and so on to the bottom. Soups,
chowders, oysters, fish, fowls, eggs,
meats, pies, puddings, tea, coffee,
everything on the not very sumptu-
Gus bill-of-fare did those tramps en-
gulf, until they had not only cleaned
out the kitchen, but had made serious
inroads on the stock of provision
dealer next door, where jenkins had
succeeded in establishing credit on
very short time. When every bone
had been picked and every crumb
devoured / sent away my crowd, and
pulling out fat pocket-book told
jenkins, whose hair had been stand
ing on end with dismay, to receipt his
BILL. He did so, but just as his eye
was enjoying a preliminary feast on a
roll of greenbacks held between my
fingers, up stepped man who had
been quietly sitting at corner table
and cody interposed with:
"Beg pardon, sir, if you're pay
ing any money to this gentleman, !
must trouble you to look over this
little dockment," whereupon he pro
duced writ of trustee, (its form I'm
not lawyer enough to repeat) which
forbade me paying jenkins any money
and commanded me to hold the amount
of my debt for the benefit of Fay
ence & Co., to be applied toward the
satisfaction of their claim against thu
said Jenkins.
Was jenkins mad? Well, gentle
men, if he wasn't he gave us gooC
imitation of it. / learned on the spo
that he was a swearer, q mine OF pro
family both original and selected. HI
could have given fifty points to a pro
fessional and beaten him two to on
in straight match. My friend anc
I listened respectfully until the wors
was over and then withdrew in goo'
order. That was the first and las
time / ever saw jenkins, but hearc
later that my little game of blui
(for it was nothing more, both sheril
and writ being bogus) had broker
, him up so badly that the provision
dealer and some other small trades
men finished him by making thing
so warm he was forced to shut u
/ shop and quit the town.-Krauf, Ele
waited Railway Journal.