News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-08-31
THE LIME-KILN CLUB,
An Internal Machine, and the Les
son of a Blow-up.
From the Detroit Free Press. /

From the Detroit Free Press.l
Some three months ago, owing to
various and repeated attempts to de-
stroy Paradise Hall by fends in hu-
man shape, Samuel Shin asked leave in
open meeting to protect the hall by an
invention of his own. Leave was
granted, and the result was seen as
the ianitor opened the place Saturday
afternoon to make ready for the usual
weekly meeting at night. Mr.. Shin's
invention consisted of pound of pow
der in nocently slowed away in an old
nail key, and the key placed where a
stranger would use it to look through
the transom. A pressure of two
pounds on the head of the key would
scratch match and explode the pow
der. Some men would have grown
weary of waiting, but Samuel knew
that if he fished long enough he was
certain to catch whale.
Some time through Thursday night
person whose name will never be
known unlocked the street door with
the crank of coffee mill and slid up
stairs with murder in his thoughts.
Perhaps he expected to find Elder
Toots asleep up there, and was pre-
pared to dispatch him without mercy,
or he may have simply intended to
damage the ball about $1S, COO worth
and then go away to secretly chuckle
over his dastardly work. Be that as
it may, he reached the ante-room and
paused for moment to cast a glance
of contempt at the stuffed oppossum
over the door leading into the lodge
There stood the innocent naiI-keg, and
the transom was open.
The human hyena probably cackled
with delight as he saw the easy way
prepared for him, but it was his last
cackle on earth. AS he mounted the
keg there was dull explosion, which
was heard by many people on the street
and supposed to have been caused by
the blowing up of tug down toward
Lake Erie.
When the hall opened Saturday even
ing Mr.. Shin had all the remains spread
out on top of Waydown Bebee's plug
hat. There was button, seven hairs,
the heel of sock, inger-nail, and a
document beginning with: ''To the
Hon. the Common Coun-," A hole in
the roof through which twenty seven
stars looked placidly down on the Bear
Trap indicated the Interior direction
taken by the balance of the remains.
The force of the explosion knocked the
safe over and broke one hinge, and the
pictures on the walls were more or less
damaged, but Cadaver Smith came for
ward and offered to make good the dam
age out of his own pocket.
THE LESSON.
"Let dis be warni1' to de wicked to
pause" said Brother Gardner as the
meeting opened. "Let it be furder
warnin' to de good not to become
wicked. Wickedness doan' pay. If
you turn gambler you may hide de
joker up yer sleeve and win few dol
lars, but de fust thing ye know some
man will hide de fo' bowers in his hat
an skoop yer blind. If you turn rob-
Der you may stop some plumber on de
highway an make haul of three hun
red dollars, but de mex fling you know
you bet on boss race an lose de pile.
We have de proofs befo' us dat while de
wicked am chucklin' an GRIMM an
CROWN fat, death am waitin' at DER ell
bow to IF 'em higher nor kite. De
Committee on Privileges and Repose
will see to de repairs of de hall, an we
will now ambulate tors de regular order
of bizness."