Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-06-29
SPICE AND ALlSPICE.

ONE OF the trunk-tOssers-JumbO.
TRAVELLING sooT-Railwsy cinders.
Is runaway match in the insect or
animal world when you see one ante
lope with another.
DocToRs and mackerel have this in
com mon: They are seldom caught out
of their own schools. Post.
Why is locomotive like beefsteak
Because it Is good for nothing without
its tender.
NEWEST receipt for maDng picnic lemo-
made. One tub OF water, one card, with
the word Lemonade thereon, tackled
upon 1t.
A YOUNG lady, on being asked where
her native place was, replied: az have
none; am the daughter of a Methodist
minister.
The peddler said the spuf he sold was
not to be sneezed at, and the old lady
said she'd see him tarred and feathered
before she'd buy any.
"ANGELNA"-No, we do not think it
would be practicable to feed the live
stock on an ocean steamer in the trough
of the sea.-Boston Post.
THOMAS HARDY's new novel is "Two
on Tower" II lie refers to a newly
married couple, his spelling is erroneous.
-Marathon Independent.
ONE of the colored pupils at Hamp-
ton Va.) Instituted the opposite mean
ipgs of "pro" and icon" by giving as
example progress and congress.
"How's crops? asked the sandy pig,
looking through the fence. Wormy,
awfully w0my," replied the speckled
hen, diligently following the man at the
plow.
"HE was the most perfect gentleman
/ ever saw" said Kentuckian of Henry
Clay. "When you went to see him he
handed you the whisky bottle and then
turned his back"
A PHILADELPHIA advised his son to
aim high in life, and the lad went out
and shot a COW. Beef was about the
highest thing he could find to aim at
-Phitddeiphia Chronicle.
81 SEE that Mx. Bonner has paid
$4,000 for my little sister. 1t must
make papa and mamma feel good to see
how their daughters are getting into the
first families. Maud S.
"TnE Manners that Win " is the title
of q new book on etiquette. This, We
presume, Is intended to teach a man how
to look unconcerned when he holds four
aces.-Steuben Republican.
SWEET GIRLS it wicked to sing
that song on Sundays ?" Brother Jack
-" Yes, it is wicked to sing it any day"
"Why ?" because it makes people
swear. ."-Philadeiphia News.
A CABLE dispatch that "s mine was
discovered in street in Moscow, Rus
sia, was headed by an innocent journal
istic head-writer as "a bonanza" in
Moscow. ."-Burlington Haickeye.
IT is said Victor Hugo's desks are full
of unpublished manuscripts. 1t is pre-
somed he dsesnt preserve the respect
fully declined notes which accompany
their return. Herald.
Boston complains Of the "earthy
taste" IN the city water. Suppose Bos-
ton people must have q heavenly flavor
added to water before they will drink it
, contentedly.-Me,0 Haren Register.
"AM l hurting you badly asked a
Boston dentist of a lady whose teeth he
Was fixing, and who was emitting horri-
BILE greans. "Oh, not in the least, but
l love to groan, was the reply.-BostOn
Globe.
some heartless wretch broke into
farmers house the other night and
moved the bottoms of all his strawberry
boxes nearly four inches nearer the
lower end. The perpetrators Of this
brutal outrage should be made to suffer
for it, if they can be found.-Hawkeye.
Now, George, you must divide the
cake honorably with your brother
Charles. "What is honorable, mother"
"It means that you must give him the
largest piece" Then, mother, I'd
rather Charley would divide it."
SOCRATES, Aristotle. Gnosticism, Pla-
tonlsm, Christian Mysticism, Philosophy
of the Bagavad Gita and Fichte's works,
are the subjects of some of the lectures
to be delivered before the Concord school
of philosophy next summer. Lovers
of rollicking fun ought to attend in large
numbers.
JUsT about this time the journeyman
barber of African descent throws aside
his razor and hies to the seaside hotel as
a waiter. The first day at the table he
whisks your napkin around your neck
and startles the dining room by eiacula-
ting, Hair cut, or shave?" It's force
of habit.
MAYBE" said the juror, "the man
who made that will was not insane, but
it was proven that he refused to climb A
fence when he saw q cross bull coming,
because, he said, it was beneath his dig
nity, and we concluded that il he wasn't
crazy he was burned fool, and the will
had to bust"
"SEE here!" yelled the farmer to the
city chap who had Just fred into tiock
of ducks on the pond down back OF the
house. "Those are not wild ducks.
Those are domestic ducks, sir" "Cant
help it, sir, if they are," answered the
city chap, calmly reloading. They're
Just as good for my purpose, exactly. -
Lo,oeU Citizen.
Ar O ball In Paris gentleman under
takes to introduce companion to a
Young lady who seems to be pining for
dance. "No, thanks, my dear fellow, l
don't care to waltz with q cart" A cart,
be it understood, is Partisan for part
ner that doesn't do her share OF the
dancing, but has TO be drawn around. A
few evenings later the young lady, who
had overheard the conversation, beholds
the young gentleman seeking an intro
duction and asking il he may have the
honor, etc. "No, thank you, }" she re-
plies sweetiy; 81 may be cart, but 1
am not donkey cartr'
THERr's heap Of uncertainty about
women. That's Just what the Columbia
College students are thinking to them
serves. They had torchheht parade
in New York, late the other night, and
their route led them past Rutgers Fe-
. girls in chemises appeared at the upper
windows and hilariously waved sheet.
Did the fellows gleefuly cheer9 They
, did, indeed. They yelled like Comanches,
and capered like dervishes. Next day
they found out that the girls who had
paid them the attention were necessarily
, servants, q none Of the daughters Of
.. wealth who study there BY day sleep
! there by night. II was dreadful blow
L a A,sx,