davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
Siberia Oyerrun With Mice.


After all, the Gar is not to have it all
his own way in Asia. While a dull
world has been imagining that the En-
glish Government was taking no steps
to prevent that consummation, the whole
edifce of the Russian Empire is, it APP
pears, on the point of collapse. With
an amount of astuteness that does him
every credit, Lord Ripon has kept silent
on the matter, but the Calcutta English
man at last lets the cat--or rather the
mice-out of the bag. These are En-
glands allies in the grand work of stay
ing the course of Russian aggression.
Afghan help might be treacherous, not
to mention its costliness; Persian aid
does not count for much; the Chinese
would probably not appear in the field
until a few years after the struggle had
terminated. As for the Turkomans,
what bride have we to offer those preda-
cious people compared to that blissful
looting of India which Russia could
dangle before their eyes? An ally had
plainly to be looked for in some new
quarter, and almost without the looking
this kind friend has already APP
peared. Our Calcutta contempora-
~ reports that countless myriads
of Indian mice have made their way to
southeastern Siberia, plundering gran
aries and destroying crops wherever
they go. On they march, relentless,
remorselcss, through Fergana, through
Semiretchausk, and right up to the
shores of Lake Balkasch The alright
ed people know not what to do to stem
the devastating deluge, and even the
dauntless Russian warriors turn pale
when the cry goes forth: The mice are
coming!'' Rome was saved by geese;
perhaps history will hereafter relate
how the English empire, after being
very nearly lost by human geese, was
saved by mice. London Globe.
I'm Baltimore, according to the Day,
the advent of summer is generally
marked by the number of baby car
riages, refrigerators and 'loafers on the
sidewalks. Relative to the latter the
Dan saws: There is nothing like them
in the heavens above, the earth beneath.
nor the waters under the earth. They
toll not, neither do they spin, and. as
the poet said of Satan: they must sure
lt be allowed to exist for some reason
not clearly understood but when. like
Caesars Slaves on the Appian Way,
they come between the wind and our
nobility, the law. in the shape OF po-
liceman, might rid US of their pres
ence.'
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

Don't expect to cure constipation of the
bowels, dyspepsia, Indigestion, etc, by the use
of severe cathartic medicines. Relief thus OBJ
tanned is only temporary: when the reaction
comes the disease has a tirmer hold on the di.
gestive system than at first The practice OF
taking cathartic medicines is the cause OF
great amount Of unnecessary suffering. The
dose must he increased from time to time
until digestion is impossible without their
use, and the liver and bowels eventually be-
come u mass of corruption that death only can
relieve. The way to permanently cure weak
and imperfect digestion is to purify the blood
and strengthen every part Of the body by the
use Of such tonics as Yellow Dock, Sarsapa-
rila, Juniper, iron, Celery and Calisaya, all
of which ingredients enter into the compost
ton of Dr. Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsa-
parilla, the Queen of all health reviewers. 1t
increases the power of endurance and counter
acts the pcrnicious effects of physical or
mental exhaustion
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

An Ogdensburgh On. W florist has
a solitaire rose bush which has over five
hundred feet of branches trained in
three green houses. 1t yields about
twenty buds a day.
Black cotton gloves should be treat
ed to a bath of scalding hot salt and
water before wearing. Hang them up
to dry without wringing, and when they
are almost dry, put them on the hand to
stretch them and get them in proper
shape. I7lbu1ee.
One of the most extensive rice
planters near Georgetown, S. c., has
planted his entire crop this year by MA
chlnery. This is said to be perhaps the
first instance in South Carolina, if not
IN the entire South. in which a whole
rice crop has been planted with ma
chimes.
Here is hint for the careful house.
wife who wishes to make the most of
everything. When your red tablecloth
is too much worn in spots to use any
longer on the table, cut the good parts
in the shape of napkins, fringe them
out for about an inch. if inclined to
ravel easily overcast them, and it will
be many long day before any member
of your family will discover that they
are not regular '.boughten'' fruit nap
kins.-N. Y. Post.
"A safe and almost sure remedy for
an inilamed eve is to battle the afflicted
member in lukewarm water, into which
small quantity of common table salt
has been dissolved. Hold the eyes open
while bathing, and Immediately relief
will be experienced. Bathing the eyes
morning and night in cold water is an
excellent practice for those who are
obliged to use their eyes to any extent.
The water acts like a tonic, and strength
ems and brightens the eyes. The eyes
should be kept open as much as possible
during the process of bathing them
indianapolis Journal.
Lemon candy with which to cele-
brate the children's birthday is made
of three pounds of white sugar, the
Juice of one lemon, the grated peel of
half the lemon, half a teaspoonful of So
da, and over a half cup of water; do not
put the sugar and water on the stove to
boil until the sugar is entirely dissolved,
then let it boil until it will harden in
cold water, add the lemon then, and let
it boil up once; after this is put in take
from the stove and stir in the dry soda;
turn out on buttered plates, and pull
vigorously when it is cool enough to
take in your hands; form in stick or odd
figures, lay on platter, and set in a
cool place for an hour Y Post.
In gardens poisonous plants are few
in number, and Of no great value for
decorative purposes. A very large pro-
portion Of the flowers that are in highest
repute for beauty, such as the rose,
dahlia, pelargonium, begonia, wall
flower, stock, carnation and primula,
are altogether harmless, although for
the most part of no value whatever as
articles Of food. But as there are so
many decorative plants that will not in
iure, even if eaten, it is easy to exclude
from the garden certain few that are
noxious, and that have sometimes been
associated with sad fatalities. The
roofing out of the great blue aconite or
monkshood, the root of which contains
a virulent poison, and has yet been
many times served on the table as horse
radish, is therefore recommended. .
De7lUey. Tribune.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

Mr.. SIDNEY McNANNY, of New Richmond
o., writes: my lungs were weak, my breath
came quick and short my heart palpitated,
my dreams disturbed me, my blood was poi
soned with scrofula; my back ached, l had
dyspepsia, my kidneys were affected could
not work nor could l even eat with comfort.
Life seemed burden; rheumatism was in ev-
cry joint; suffered from piles; urination was
painful and full of sediment. l thought
could never get well, but Dr.. Guysott's yell
low Dock and Sarsaparilla has removed all my
Affections
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
no>iS JXTo1l-o,. &c Now vorb-

David Walker, of New York, is
probably the oldest street-car driver in
the United States in point OF service.
He is sixty years old, and has been a
driver twenty eight years and a half. He
thinks in that time he has ridden about
Il million miles, SO that if he had kept
on in straight line he would have gone
around the earth forty times. He has
carried children to and from school, land
then carried their children over the same
rOute.-N. Y. SIM,
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
Workin gnen.

Before you begin your heavy spring work
after winteTof relaxation, your system needs
cleansing and STRENGTHENING to prevent an at
tack of Ague, Bilious or Spring Fever, or
some other Spring sickness that will unfit you
for a seasons work You will save time,
much sickness and great expense if you will
use one bottle of Hop Bitters in your family
this month. Don't wait-Burliugton Ramkeye.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

THERE is complaint from England that
leather is found in American sausage. This
shows carelessness on the part of our sausage
makers in the Eastern States, but out West
here, where brass collars are worn entirely no
such trouble Is found with sausage. See that
the words "Wisconsin sausage'' are blown
on the sausage ulster; and you will never be
troubled with leather-Pech's Sun
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
Personal.

The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, will
send Dr. Dyes celebrated Electro-V oltaic
Belts and Appliances on trial for thirty days.
to men young or old) who are afflicted with
nervous debility, lost vitality and kindred
troubles, guaranteeing complete restoration
Of vitality and manhood Address as above
N. B.-No risk is incurred, as thirty days
trial is allowed.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

The young man or woman who must for
sake society because of notifying freckles,
tan, letter, pimples and itching exoriations of
the face, should use some Of Dr. Benson's
Skin Cure. 1t cleanses the scalp and Is good
for the toilet. DR.. Benson's Celery and Chamo-
mile Pills, SO widely and favorably known as
sure remedy for all kinds of nervousness and
headaches, are also for sale at all druggists.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

:, " IT is great art to do the right thing at
rangement Of the kidneys or liver has pro
tective duty to perform in purchasing pack
age of Kidney Wort. It invigorates these
organs and by its cathartc and diuretic effect,
cleanses the whole system of all bad humors
thus being ''just the thing"
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

If the mother is feeble it is imnossihfe that
her children should be strong. lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound is perfect specific
in all chronic diseases OF the sexual system of
women Send to Mrs. Lydia T. Pinkham. 223
Western Avenue, Lynn, Mass, for pamphlets.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

Dr. r. V. PIERCE, Buffalo. n Y. Dear Sir
lhave been taking your "Fav0rite Prescrip-
iion'' for 'fe,nalc weakness, Before had
taken it two days began to feel stronger |
have taken but twothrGs OF bottle and be-
lieye am cured Gratefully, Mgs. Ii. G..
LovETT, Watseka Ill.,
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

SICK and bilious headache and all derange-
ments of stomach and bowels, cured by Dr.
Pierce's "Pelletsn-or anti-bilious granules.
Is cents IA vial, No cheap boxes to allow
waste of virtues. By druggirts.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

eT Hoods, scarfs, ribbons and any fancy
articles can be made any color wanted with
the Diamond Dyes, Scarlet, Cardinal Red and
all popular colors.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

when Mr.. FISH aad IFS chidren's por-
traits painted they were spoken of as sarlines
little Fishes done up in OILY y Graphic.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

A GAP in the carving knife betokens that
spring chicken has been in the house, Bonn
erd7eg
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

EXPERIENCE teaches that it does riIe an
artist TO ask him: 'Nbat will you take for
that frame with the picture thrown IN,
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

'THE proof Of the pudding is in the eat
ing but it's the proof of the pie that mad
denS the printer.-Spritqtie,u NeuS.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

INQUIRER: What is the most scarce Ameri-
can coin! Don't know, sir; dollars are quite
scarce enough.-Boyton Post
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

SINGING irritation, Inflammation, all kiG
ney Complaints, cured by " Buchupaiba,' s.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

WHAT'S in a name? That which we catlli-
flower by any other name would taste as good.
-Cou,-ier-Jou,7tdl
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

Don DlEin the house. Rough on Rats 15c
Clears out rats. mice, flies, reaches, bed bugs
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

WHY is the early grass like a pen knife
Because the spring brings out the blades!
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

Il AM afraid of the lightning" said pref
ty girl to her lover ''Quite natural, 3" he re-
piled, when you have heart of steel"
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

A sRocKLTS man 4dvertis&s e powder %
cure cats and dogs Of somnambulism." It
is put in gun.-Broodyt E4gie
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

REDDING's Russia Salve is an invaluable
dressing for infamed and sore joints. Price Csc.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

WHY is dead hen better than a live one
Because she will lay wherever you put her.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

WHENEVER a lot of girls strike it is safe to
ask: s'Who is hel''-Boston Post.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
Throat, Bronchial and Lung Disea SO

speciality. Send two stamps for large treatise
giving self treatment. Address WORLD Dis
PENsARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, Ny.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
TWo-Thirds of Bottle Cures.

VINO invented the steam-engine2 Watts
his name.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17
e 10 A WEEK. S12 dav at home easily made
Di ACosty outfit free. Address True Co. Augusta Me

r LIBERAL Tracts. Mistakes Of Moses and APO stiles
IL Send stamp for prices to Dr. Dodge. Leghorn, Kan
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

ngRNnIrcfor Dealers Medium Work. Low
kEfkzA7HE Prices UNION CARRIAGE MFG.
0O0OtASC0.C Cincinnati, o. Catalogue Free.
St. Landry democrat., 1882-06-17

~ n ~ A MONTH and board in your county: Men
&A r or Ladies. Pleasant Business Address
~TE P. W.ZIEGLER Co., Box a. Chicago, ILL.,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11
Personal RecOllectiOns of Artemus Ward.

Harry Thomas, Of Dayton, was sit
ting in the Ebbitt House (Washing-
tom smoking room the other evening,
chatting about the prominent people
who were lettering about Washington,
when the conversation chanced to turn
to humorous people, and Thomas asked
me if ever met Charles Brown (Ar-
temus Ward).
"Never did? Well it was my good
fortune to know him intimately for
several years, and the remembrance is
not likely to die out soon. When !
first came to Ohio, in the fifties, / set
tied down in Cleveland, where ] was
employed by music dealer and pub.
Usher named Dodge, OH Euclid avenue.
He and Brown were friends and he in
troduced us. Brown was then city ed
itor of the Plain Dealer, and being
himself n new arrival, was looking for
quarters and roommate. We seemed
to take fancy to one another, and
agreed to take room together. We
found suitable quarters in what was
then known as Brainard's Hall, in Su-
perior street, and roomed there during
my stay in Cleveland. Brown was the
most irrepressible person i ever met
He was always playing jokes and tell
ing funny stories. | remember per.
son named Pinkerton, a robust-looking
fellow, who prided himself OH his Irish
blood, and was always talking of Irish
aristocracy. He was a strapping big
fellow, six feet tall, and finely proper
toned. His name was Pinkerton, and
he hailed from Belfast, Ireland. Brown
was always playing jokes on him, ant
as he was employed on the Plain Deal
er too, there was generally plenty o
opportunity.
"Pinkerton belonged to what wa'
known as the Cleveland Dragons, ant
his uniform was the most gorgeous
ever saw. The hat was particular.
grand. 1t was made of patent leather
aud had white horse-tail at the peak
and falling over the back.
"One night Pinkerton came over t.
our room after drill, and after we hat
finished several glasses of sherry, con
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11
ASTHMA
COUGHS
COLDS
And all throat and
lung complaints
cured by
"ADAMSON'S
BOTANIC
BALSAM,"
a pleasant and un-
failing remedy

REFERENCEs: Senator j. q. Blaine,
washington, d. c., VIM. f. Kidder,
New York, Chaplain c. c. McCabe,
Chicago, H., Rev. A. S. Weed, lions
Herald, also publisher Boston Pilot,
Hev. DIR. Torsey, D. D., LII. d., Kent's
Rill, Me, J. L. Field, Alpena, Mich,
and thousands of others. "The most
famous of all the medicines in the
market is Adamsons Botanic Balsam." !"
--SpringGeld Republican. "The
workings of Adamson's Balsam are
daily astonishing the most eminent
physicians. Boston Journal. Sold
by all respectable druggists and deal
ers. Price, 35 and rs cts. "New
trial size" 10 cts. +, w. K1NsMAN &
Co., Psoprietors, Augusta, Me 51s.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

The humorous columns in many pa
pers seem to be edited by General Joke
Hooker.-Cincinnati Saturday Night
Assisted by General Bragg.-Derrick
With suggestions by General Check
Hornet. No; in most of them we find
traces of General Debility.-Score
And yet the General Average is very
good.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Some people have fashion of con-
fusing excellent remedies with the
large mass of "patent medicines" and
in this they are guilty of wrong
There are some advertised remedies
fully worth all that is asked for them,
and one at least we know of-Hop
Bitters. The writer has had occa-
sion to use the Bitters in just such q
climate as we have most of the yeai
in Bay City, and has always found
them to be first class and reliable, do
ing all that is claimed for them
Tribune. 543w2.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11
Advertising Rates.

business Cards one year, dollar for every line
Local Notices ton cents per line for each insertion
discount of 25 per cent.
Advertisements unacoompanied by verbal or written
directions will DO published three months.
Advertisements, under contract ordered out be-
ioro expiration OF timc will be charged full rates
No paper discontinued until all arrearagss are paid
except at the option OF the publisher.
Transient advertisements must be paid in advance
ns-Terms CASH, payable quarterly.
Only Metal Cuts inserted.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

A pure, wholesome distilation of
witch hazel, American pine, Canada
fir, marigold, clover blossoms, ETC.,
fragrant with the healing essences OF
balsam and of pine. Such is Sand
ford's Radical Cure for Catarrb. Com
plete treatment for 81.
Death to rats, mice, reaches and
ants; Parsons Exterminator. Barns,
granaries and households cleared in a
single night. No fear of bad smells
Best and cheapest vormin killer in
the world. Sold everywhere. Jan.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

A school-teacher, discharged for using
the rod too freely, applied for employ
mcnt in dressmaker's establishment.
Have you had any experience in sew
ing?' asked the dressmaker. "No,"
was the reply, "but l have thorough
knowledge of basting. Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

n romantic young girl and tenor
singer are harmless when apart; but
they make terrible combination, re-
marks an exchange, and we feel COM
PEELED to rise and explain that it is the
same way with tin can and brindle
pup.-Oil City Derrick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Blonde-"They say Carrie is en-.
gagged Why, she was married month
ago and has just sued for a divorce
Blonde-"How romantic! Isn't il
splendid ?''-Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Said the sailor to his sweetheart !:
81 know that ladies care little about
nautical matters, but if you had your
choice of a ship, what kind of one
would you prefer?" She cast down
her eyes, blushed and whispered: "a
little smack. ."-Somervill Journal
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Synopsized opinion by the court
"These defendants are dismissed. The
Court finds they stole large amount
enough to entitle them to respect
Call the next case.--Cincinnati En-.
quirer.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

"He is n very warm-hearted man, "
said Sprucely, the other day, of a friend
whom he parted with at sample-room
door. "Yes," said Benccly, who came
along too late to be asked in, "he seem
ed to have very cordial breath. -
Boston Commercial.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Church organists in the Pine tree
State are very mercenary. They are
always looking after the Maine chants.
Score. We will inchoir into this
Stcubenville Herald, Sec one Of them
and ask hymn.-Scorc.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

A little heat that can't be beat, the
window open wide; little breeze, a
little sneeze, and you're the doctors
prize. Seventeen dollars and twenty
five cents for ten visits.ZElmira Tele-
gram
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

The man who was "rocked in the
cradle of the deep" must have slept
between sheets Of water.-Oil City
Derrick. That was when he was in
the trough of the sea-"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Robber (who has broken into the
house of prominent vocalist, and
bound him m)--"Come now, tell me, have
you got any notes?" Vocalist-"Ycs." "
Robber-"Where are they ?" Vocal
ist-"In my chest" Robber leaves
Observation-Disclosures Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

"Were you ever in an engagement p
inquired an innocent rustic Of great
militia man. eyes, one" replied the
son of Mars "but she went back on
me. New York Commercial Adver.
tiscd.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Somebody has asked where do all the
hand-organ grinders 60 to when the
snow flies. Well, some are hung ;
others sell out and become State board
ers at Joe Nicholson's hotel de correc-
tion, while few travel to Boston ard
become editors of aesthetic publicatios
---Chaff.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

cts the sunset of life gives me
mystical lore; and coming events cast
their shadows before !" and the thirst
that we feel is n thirst more intense,
when schooner costs five and you've
only four cents.-Philadelphia Chron-
icle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

y Western debating society is nerv-
ing itself up to wrcstle with the ques
ton: when woman and mouse
meet, which is the most frightened -
Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

81 love shining mark" said the
bootblack, as he dropped tobacco
quid on the shining pate of bald
headed man in the orchestra.-Frank-
ford Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11
Mrs. Homespun was shocked to hear

Mrs. Homespun was shocked to hear
one of those giddy Brownjohn girls
speak of Haydn as the author of the
Creation" Mrs. Homespun says she
doesn't know anything about the Bible
the Brownjohns have, but her Bible
doesn't say anything about Haydn, or
any other fddling German.-Trans-
cript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Voltaire had his cynical dab at doc
ters when he speaks Of a physician as
ga man who pours drugs, of which he
knows little, into bodies of which he
knows less"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

An excellent reason. A prodigal--
"What makes you spend your time SO
freely, Jack ?" Because it is the only
thing I have to spend. Hartford
Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

Somebody went to II music teacher;
room, while he was out, and put a cat
with her tail in steel trap. And, Of
course the cat complained, and every
body said, Goodness, he must have
a girl in there practising grand opera.
Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

What sort Of a man is he ?" a
friend asked Theodore Hook. "Short,"
replied Hook, "and bald. He used to
cut his hair, but now his hair has cut
him
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1882-01-11

A modern young lady's forehead.
The editor of this column not having
seen one for several years, is willing to
pay fair price for glimpse at the
genuine article. No banged or other
wise mutilated specimens wanted
Cleveland Sun.