davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

A HEALTHY COUNTRY.-''Doy you ever
have chills yourself, Colonel?n asked the
doctor 80, chills is nuthin'; a little ag-
gravatin' sometimes, you know; but in
a healthful country like this, we can af-
ford to hev chill or two now and then;
mine is the seven day ague, so hev lots
of time to rest between chills. We have
no smallpox or lumbago or leprosy, or
any of them things, and if we hev a
chill or touch of rheumatic once in a
while, we don't write to the papers
about it, We can't reckon on all the
blessins and conveniences OF paradise
this side a better world. 1t amt nat'ral
to expectit. We don't appreciate health
as we orter. Talk of chills! Why, back
whar | KEN from, in Mississippi, they
fire off gun every day at twelve o'clock
for folks to take their quinine by. When
they want to get the persimnons off'n a
tree the y" a feller to the trunk, and
the ~mait for his chill to
&C ae 3simmons to drap
which the. Aqous. He piings
the persimn sa, but it don't
do to leave him 90 long. The
tree would get so sh,. up it wouldn't
bar next year. No, sir, we amt half
thankful for the health we enjoy. Why,
sir, when I KEN here in AS was a skele
ton. You may think it nirak 'lous, but
it's so. | was used to being sick six
DAYS in the week, and ] usually lay in
bed all day Sunday. was consump-
tive and bilious till couldn't rest, and
now you see what l am"
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
TOMATO CATsUP AND TOMATO
SAUCE.

The basis of tomato catsup or ketchup,
is the pulp of ripe tomatoes. Many de-
fer making catsup until late in the sea-
son, when the cool nights cause the
fruit to ripen slowly, and it may be it is
gathered hurriedly for fear of frost.
The late fruit does not yield so rich a
pulp as that gathered in its prime. The
fruit should have all green portions cut
out, and be stewed gently until thor
oughly cooked. The pulp is then to be
separated from the skins, by rubbing
through a wire sieve, SO fine as to retain
the seeds The liquor thus obtained, is
to be evaporated to a thick pulp, over
slow fire, and should be stirred to pre-
vent scorching. The degree of evapo-
ration will depend upon how thick it IS
desired to have the catsup. We prefer
to make it so that it will just pour freely
from the bottle We observe no regula-
ton rule in fiavoring. Use sufficient
salt. Season with cloves, allspice and
mace, bruised and tied in a cloth, and
boiled in the pulp; add q small quantity
of powdered cayenne. Some add the
spices ground fine, directly to the pulp.
A Glove of garlic, bruised and tied in a
cloth, to be boiled with the spices, i'm
parts delicious flavor. Some evapo-
rate the pulp to greater thickness than
is needed, and then thin with vinegar or
with wine An excellent and useful to-
mato sauce may be made by preparing
the pulp, but adding no spices, and put
ting it in small bottles while hot, cork
ing securely and sealing. If desired, the
sauce may be salted before bottling, but
this is not essential. To add to soups,
stews, sauces and made dishes, a sauce
thus prepared is an excellent substitute
for the fresh fruit. 1t should be put in
small bottles, containing as much as will
be wanted at once, as it will not keep
long after opening. .-4gacalturist for
| .1,tQlst.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
LIGHTNING AS A NAIL-PULLER.

There has existed in Rochester for
some time, without creeping into public
prints, foundation for a very singular
story. As, however, it is vouched for
by the word of a highly respectable gen
tleman, it should not be classed as a stic-
ton. The story runs on this Wise:
Some time recently, as the memberYof a
gentleman's family, who reside on Mon
roe avenue, were sitting down to NE tea
table thunderstorm arose. 1t WASH It
much of thunderstorm to all appear
ances, though, and the meal progressed
in the ordinary fashion. By the by
there was a clap of thunder which was
rather louder than usual, accompanied
by very vivid flash oflightning. There
was, however, no extraordinary display,
and beyond a slight shock no special eff
fects were felt. But a singular smell
pervaded the house, which was at first
attributed to escaping gas. Search was
made high and low for the hole in the
pipes, but to no effect. Still the smell
continued, and upon opening a closet
door it appeared stronger than ever and
was accompanied by the perfume of
burned leather. Closerinspections showed
a pair of boots smoking and shriveled
up, from the heel of which all the iron
nails had been drawn. And if it WASH
the lightning that pulled the nails out,
what was it?'' questioned our informant.
Rochester Post-EGpress.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
THE LANGUAGE OF THE FACE.

1t is surprising how much can be
learned from the face. Physiognomy
seldom lies. This lady with the diamond
in her ears is not a person of position.
Her dress is faultless, her movements
elegant, she is very handsome, but some
how you know. 1t is that peculiar,
half-doubtful, half-supercillious express
sion of hers that tells its own story. She
is at once defiant and ashamed. Yonder
sits an addressed, far from handsome,
middle-aged woman, but there is a gra-
cious, matronly look upon her face.
You place her at once as an honest wife
and careful mother. You have nodoubt
of her, nor of the girl at her side, her
daughter The language of the face is
very plainly written, if one will only
learn to read it, think if girls knew
this-if they took it to heart and be-
lieved tit would be well for them.
This wish to look well is strong in all
feminine hearts; with this end in view
they will starve or take bitter medicine,
rub bismuth or arsenic on their faces,
cover their hands and foreheads with
sticky paste on retiring, and forbid
themselves fresh, breezy walks or pleas
ant sails for fear of tanning. Yet, at
the same time they think and do many
things which stamp an expression not to
be coveted upon their young faces, and
quite forget that, after all, the face is
but as a vase which the lamp of the soul
illuminates, and that the best beauty
comes from within.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

They tell of dog down in Augusta,
Me-, who suffered from toothache until
a dentist extracted whole row of de-
cayed teeth" and it is said that 1.-The
poor dog held his mouth open and sat
perfectly quiet while the teeth were be-
ing drawn We have nothing to say
against the dog for sitting perfectly
quiet; but if the dentist during the oper-
alton poured into the dogs unwilling
ears the tedious recital of previous eX-
ploits in dentistry, we shall never for
give him for not biting the hand off the
tooth-puller. From what we know OF
dentists, we feel sure that the dog did
not escape the customary infiiction, and
therefore we despise the dog. Boston
TRANSCRIPT.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
HOW A MARRIED WOMAN GOES
TO SLEEP.

There is an article gong the ROUNDS
entitled chow girls go to sleep The
manner in which they go to sleep, ac-
cording to the article, can't hold a can
die to the way a married woman goes to
sleep. Instead of thinking of what she
would have attended to before going to
bed, she thinks of it afterward. While
she is revolving these matters in her
mind, and while snugly tucked up in bed,
the old man is scratching his head in
front of the fire and wondering how he
will pay the next months rent Sudden
ly she says:
flames, did you lock the door,
(which door?' asked James.
The cellar door, says she.
| mo" /" says James.
We'll, you'd better go down and lock
! it, for heard some persons in our back
| yard last night
Accordingly James paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time
James returns and is going to bed, she
remarks:
did you shut the stair door?"
| NO." says James.
swell, if it is not shut the cat will get
up in the bedroom"
LET her come up, then" says James,
| ill-naturedly.
my goodness, no." returns his wife,
''she'd suck the baby's breath"
| Then James paddles down stairs again
and steps on a tack and closes the stair
door and returns to the bedroom. Just
as he begins to slide into his couch his
wife observes:
81 forgot to bring up water. Suppose
you bring some in the big tin
And so James, with muttered curse,
goes down into the dark kitchen and
falls over chair, and rasps all the tin
ware off the wall in search of the big
| tin and then jerks the stair door open
and howls:
| "Where are the matches p
| She gives him minute directions where
| to find the matches and adds that she
would rather go and get the water her.
self than have the whole neighborhood
raised about it; after which James finds
the matcheSpr the water, comes
up stairs and plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says:
ssJames, let's have an understanding
about money matters. Now, next week
I've got to pay"
Il don't know what you've got to pay
and don't care" shouts James, as he
lurches around and jams his face against
the wall, ''all l want is to Sleep
That's all very well for you,H snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vicious
| ly, ''you never think of the worry and
trouble have. And there is Araminta
who believe is taking the measels.'
'Let her take 'em," says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James is falling into a
gentle dose she punches him in the ribs
| with her elbow and says:
''Did you hear the scandal about Mrs.
| Jonesg'
''What Mrs. Jones?'' says James sleep
lily.
why, Mrs. Jones'"
Where p inquired James.
II declare p says his wife, you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs Jones that lives at 81 Well,
day before yesterday Susan Smith told
Mrs. Thompson that Sam Parker had
| said that Mrs. Jones had
Here she pauses and listens Jamesis
snoring in profound slumber With a
snort of rage she pulls all the covers
over him, wraps herself up in them and
lays awake until 2 a. m., thinking how
badly used she is.
And that is the way married woman
goes to sleep. Pittsbang Leader.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
NAMES ICE CROP.

A large amount of ice is cut in this
State every year, and Gardiner is the
centre of the ice trade. The Kennebec
river is lined with ice-houses from Halo
well, the head of navigation, to Merry
meeting Bay, q distance of twenty-five
miles Many of the houses are nicely
built and painted, while others are
rough, with boards sticking in every di
rection The past Winter was considered
one of the worst Winters ever known for
storing Ice. The Winter was late, and
when the cold weather came the river
froze in very bad condition, most of the
gelds requiring planning. Then the snow
storms came in quick succession, and a
great deal of scraping was necessary
The amount of ice stored the past Winter
was not much more than one-half the
usual crop. The total amount harvested
in the State was 1,564,000 tons. The
Kennebec river comes first with ], ,029, 900
tons, the Penobscot river with 146, 900
tons. the Cathance river with SO, 900 tons,
and $4,000 tons were housed on the
coast. The Knickerbocker Company,
of Philadelphia, has stored $4,000 tons
on the kenebec river and $4,000 on the
coast. New York, Washington, Balti-
more, Boston and other companies have
large amounts of ice harvested, mostly
on the Kennebec Abraln Rich is the
largest single dealer in the State, he
having so, OO0 tons to dispose Of Usually
by the 1st of June the river is full OF
vessels loading with ice, but the cold
weather has prevented any great de
mand being made thus far this season.
The price at present is about $1.50 per
ton on board the vessel = Hartford Times
Correspondence
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
POLL AND PENNY.

A Cleveland lady is the owner of a
small frisky dog and a very talkative
parrot. Occasionally Polly gets demor-
allied, and instead of behaving herself
like good lady-bird should, she gives
vent to some terrible shrieks, and en-
deavors to be as bad as she possibly can.
When she takes these spells the dog,
knowing that reprimand is needed
goes to the cage and administers savage
little barks. The other day Polly sat
upon her perch with all the dignity
possible. The dog was taking a nap in
the adjoining room. Suddenly without
moments notice, Poll let loose two
or three unearthly screeches. The dog
was awakened of course, and immedi-
ately started towards the cage at full
run, barking as he went. After he had
scolded as he thought enough he ad-
iourned to the other room and snugged
himself for another snooze. He had no
more than closed his eyes before Polly
shrieked again. longer and louder than
before. Up jumped the dog, and out he
went barking furiously. When he
reached the cage, Poll, who had stopped
her noise to give the dog chance, be-
gan to bark just as loud as her four
legged associate. Penny checked him
self off and gazed on in holy horror. He
stood looking at the cage for several
minutes. Finally his tail dropped be
tween his legs and he turned around and
left the spot just as he was going out
of the room Polly stopped barking, a
sort of pleased expression crept down her
jagged back, and as the dog faded from
view she yelled after him, Goodbye,
Penny and without further ado re-
sumed her meditations upon her perch.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

UTILIZING CRows.-A Pennsylvania
farmer has turned the crows to a good
account He makes them allies in his
work Writing the american Agricut-
turist, he says: For the past five seasons
l have, just before l expected my corn
up, sowed on the field about a quart of
corn to each acre, and repeated the
operation as often as necessary, until the
corn was so large that the crows could
not pull it up. If the corn is soaked un
til tender, they prefer picking what they
want to eat from the surface rather than
to pull the young plants to get it. The
cost of the corn thus sown, is but a
trifie; as result l have a great number
of crows almost constantly on my corn
field, and after they have been satisfied
with corn, they will still pick up all the
insects, grubs and cut-worms they can
find, as a dessert. In raising fifty acres
of corn since adopting this plan, l have
not lost hundred stalks by crows and
cut-worms combined.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

The little Swiss town of Elm hangs on
the mountain side in daily dread of being
buried under an enormous landslide.
Last Fall great section of the Risikopf
broke loose and rolled down, overwhelm-
ing part of the village and causing much
loss of life Later it was discovered that
q still larger mass was ready to fall.
Still the residents clung to their homes
and manifested no intention of moving.
They procured artillery and piled the
crag from the ground where the shock
and conclusion would jar the mass most
effectively. By this means they dis
lodged enormous slides without much
risk, the rock taking a course that car
ried it clear of the village. However, it
appears that the quantity which has
come down is hardly the hundredth part
of what is moving. There is bare
chance that this will pass to the side of
the village instead of through it, and the
people are determined to take the opti-
mist view Land is cheaper than it was,
but there is not much of it in the market,
and few are moving away.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

Forty years acs, III o. rillage near Phil
adelphia, arrangements were hlade for a
weddins. The guests were invited and
the hide awaited the groom, who n,ver
ca.ne. The girl, crazed by grief, became
d harmless lunatic, and wanders through
the rooms of her home arrayed in her
bridal finery, buoyed up with the hope
that her.lover will yet return. Burglars
entered her house lately, and her quick
ear detecting their steps, she stepped
out on the staircase and greeted the
thieves with the words: Il have been
waiting all these years; | am ready; come
on.'' The men looked at the ghostly
figure in its faded robes, standing with
arms outstretehed, and fled rom the
house.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

The Capitol at Albany has cost SO far
$11, ,597, $4,000. The odd six cents show
the honesty with which the work has
been done and the accounts kept. Moth
ing gives such an air of respectability to
an imposing array of figures as few
odd cents, and a fraction, if possible.
With prompt appropriations, good luck,
and reasonable weather, the contractors
hope to get the capitol finished before it
tumbles down. Detroit Free Press.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

There was a witty man, who, being
detained by snow blockade, penned q
dispatch which ran thus My dear sir,
| have every motive for visiting you ex-
cept a locomotive So was the other,
who, under similar circumstances, tel
egraphed to his friendin New York =
shall not be in the office to-day, as
have not got home yesterday, yet
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
STAGE LINE.
MILLVILLE & BRIDGETON
WINTER ARRANGEMENTS.

WINTER ARRANGEMENTS.
This line of stages will run as follows
Leave Millville at $50 a. M, upon the arrival OF
the train from Cape May, and at 2. NJ -.
Leave Bridgeton at 500 a. m. and 3.OO p. M. On
time to connect with the morning and evening
'ia - j. w. PANCOAST,
l. A. DUBOIS,
Proprietors and Drivers.
B.-Passengers on the Port Norris Railroad
wishing to connect with the stage in the afternoon
will stop off at the East Bridgeton station.
dec, X-tf
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

Some young men of Hays City, Kan
sas, found diversion in teasing dying
old tramp. When he fseblyE defended
himself, they beat him, threwshim into
a mud hole, and left him to die alone.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

Sweet sincerity: The young woman
who sneeringly remarks that men are all
alike, generally shows her sincerity by
taking the first man that offers himself
to her.-Boston Transcript.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

THE SEAT WAS ENGAGED. Are you
travelling alone?' asked tall agricultur
al-looking gentleman approaching a
lady who occupied two seats in crowded
car.
mo, sir,' she replied.
s.May l ask who's with your asked the
man, looking around vainly for some
other place to store himself.
My husband . snapped the lady with
flashing eyes. My husband is travelling
with me-"
ooh! ah! excuse me, and the tall man
Strengthened up and prepared to take a
standing ride.
ssIs this seat engagedy' asked a dash
ing, well-dressed young fellow of the
lady five minutes later.
mo, sir" she replied, and down he
pumped.
II say, ma'aml" protested the tall man,
sis that your husband?'
mo, it isn't, and you needn't ask any
more questions retorted the woman.
| But you said you were travelling with
him, > persisted the tall man.
$50 | am, . snorted the laa.-
"Where is her. insisced the tall man.
ssHe's in the baggage car in a coffin, :
replied t1e lady.
4 beg your pardon, ma'aln," said the
tall man, humbly; Il honestly beg par
don l won't ask if he's dead, but you'll
excuse me for thinking that if you and
he have been married long he's deuced
smart to travel around screwed up in q
box, if you are on the same trip and it,
likely to last long"
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
A CHANGE.

On and after Monday, July
5Ist, until further notice, our
store wiI close at seUen O'Clock,
P. M, except on Saturday
euenings when we wiU remain
open until eleUen o'clock. We
do this to allow our assistants
more time to themselves dur
ing the warm period. As we
haUe had a good trade almost
euery evening during the en-
tire Summer, we fear that
this arrangement may not suit
some Of our patrons as welI
as has our past custom. We
hope all wiH endeaUor to con-
form to the new plan and as
far as possible to make their
purchases during the day, and
not put them off until Satur-
day euenings, when we often
haue more business than we
can attend to.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
WEST JERSEY RAILROAD.
On and after JuIy 8, 1882.

Trains leave Bridgeton as follows
Fo Philadelphia and Way Stations, at 6.35, and
500 a. m and g. 10 p. m.
For Salem Branch 500 a. m. and 81 p. M ~
For Trenton and New York via Camden. 6.35
For Atlantic City and Cape May, 500 a. M, and
3.10p. m.
RETURNING,
Leave Philadelphia 500 a. M, $50 and $40 p: In.
Leave Salem 40 a. m. and 250 p. m. On We'd
nesdays and Saturdays only at 6.00p. M
CONNECTING RAILROADS.
Trains leave Vjneland for Millville, Az and l00S
a. M. 43S and 7.08 p. M, and on Sunday 925 and
$50 a. M.
For Cape May leave vineand, 9.42 and 1908 a.
m 438 u M On Sunday 952 and $50 a. m.
Jos. CRAWFORD, Supt.
j. L. W0OD, Genl Pass Agent.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
NEW JERSEY SOUTHERN RY.

Commencing June 2sth, 1882.
For Bridgeton, yneland interlneda tie stations
sc.
Leave New York, foot of Rector St.. 1.30 p. m.
LEAVE BRIDGETON.
As a. n for New York, Newark, Elizabeth, South
Amboy, Long Branch, Red Bank, Farm
ingdale Toms River, Waretown, Barne-
gat, Writings, Atsion, Winslow, Vine
land, &c.
7.45 a. m, 200 p m for vineand, Winslow juno
ton, Atsion.
1140 a. m. T.G5 p m for Bay Side and intermediate
stations.
FOR PHILADELPHIA.
Leave Bridgeton 7.45 a. M, 200 p. IN.
LEAVE PHILADELPHIA.
Wine Street Wharf)
For Bridgeton and way stations, s. M, 4:30 p m
Above trains connect to and from Atlantic City
and all points Camden and ATLANTIC r: r..
II. P. BALDWIN,
Gen. Pass. Agent.
w. w. sTEARNs. Gen. supt.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03
Ladies' Misses and Child
ren's Slippers,

120 pairs Of Children's Kid
Button Slippers, all solid leath-
er and weU made at so cts.
pe, pair. A large quantity Of
Children's Blue Canvas Button
Shoes, just the thing for eu-
cry day we1r, wi0 outlost
leather at IS cents; laced at
IS cents.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

A gentleman from Nevada stepped
into Philadelphia tonsorial saloon to
have his hair cut. The officiating artist,
having enveloped his victims neck in
towels and compressed him securely in a
chair, opened the conversation by say
ing
"You are little nervous, sir, l per
ceive, allow me to say that our Capillary
Elixir not only covers bald heads with
luxurious growth of hair, but calms the
mind and restores the whole nervous
system to healthy equilibrium. What
do you do for nervousness in Nevada9'
The representative of the Comstock
looked up serenely and answered.:
''We usually go out and kill a barber"
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

The sparrows are like some men who
get credited for great deal Of evil that
they don't do Sparrows are accused OF
driving away our song birds. Ofan our
song birds the cat is the best known and
most numerous. Yet the sparrow would
not harm SO much as hair on the cats
head. Brooklyn Eagle
West-Jersey pioneer., 1882-08-03

"In choosing a wife," says an ex-
change, ''be governed by her chin"
The worst of it is that after choosing
wife, one is apt to keep on being gov
erned in the same way.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1882-12-14
Fires in the Woods Don't Start One.

A friend of ours once had a startling
experience in clearing on the southern
shore of Lake Superior. Sitting on q
large log, twenty feet long, he thought
lessly held the lighted end of cigar
upon the half rotten surface, and went
away without noticing the effect. The
next day at the same hour, passing by
the spot, he was astounded to find the
huge trunk nearly consumed, and all
glowing with an intense heat. The fire
had silently eaten its way through and
through the log, and nothing but its
chance isolation prevented disastrous
forest fire, which might have laid waste
half dozen counties and destroyed a
thousand homes.
Everyone who goes into the woods
every hunter, chopper, logger, picnic
party, rambler, botanist, should bear in
mind that a spark may cause confia-
grafton. as ruinous as that which occur
red in Michigan last year.
The forests of the United States still
yield annually four hundred and fifty
million dollars worth of merchandise,
and furnish employment to one million
persons. This is the least of their use
fulness to us. They prevent the too
rapid evaporation of the rain; they retard
the melting of the snow, thus preventing
destructive floods. garnering up the
water for safe and gradual use, and
keeping the mountain springs ever full
and fresh. Let US unite in guarding this
precious inheritance.-N T. Ledger: