Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-03-19
PLEAEANI.RLES.

1.HH lion is not the king of beasts
man is.
A RED nose is thing that goes with
out saying.
IT is terrible cold wave when she
swings her handkerchief at your rival.
WHEN pedestrian reclines on par
lor lounge he is on the home stretch.
BARRIERS should make good Arctic
discoveries. They frequently get near
the pole.
1T is difficult thing for dog with
out tail to show his master how much
he THINKS of him.
10 REMOVE superduous hair-Send
your well-fIled mattress to be done over
by cheap upholsterer.
IRRITABLE men think the buttons on
the neck-bands of their shirts should be
properly called choler buttons.
LET woman not for voting, sir,
bUt i6dELl tuc UhIucI . truuO iAoec0sA3
So shall the poll be brought to her,
To razor DER her husbands head.
AN attempted suicide in Liverpool,
when arraigned for reprimand, excused
his rash act on the ground that he had
got wet and was hanging himself up to
dry.
"HsRE's riddle for you" said Joe to Nose,
"Be quick, and let's have the reply;
Why are you like your fathers nose?
Give il up? You're under his eye"
"WHY do you build such flat roof
TO your house? asked man Of friend.
Because" whispered the other, 81
want to put mortgage on it as soon as
it is finished. "-G0Iveston NeWs.
A GALVESTON darby rushed into
doctors Office, and breathlessly ex-
claimed: "Come on, doctor, right of.
Oar is somebody in my house who imam
awful fix-laid up in bed a-groanin' and
a-groanin." "Who is it?" "It's me.
Yer see, boss, I didn't hab nobody to
send, so Z come myself" -Gazveston
News.
TIE politeness Of the fast Galveston
Young man is almost phenomenal. He
was driving fast team, and ran over
man who was standing on the corner.
The man was not hurt much, but on at
tempting to get up the fast young man
called back to him: "Don't move on
my account. You are not bit in my
way Galveston Nesos.
YOU'VE Hopeful Gage 6, who is show
ing visitor his drawing-book, contain
ing alleged representations of "bird
and "horse," as indicated in words I'M
derneath the drawings)- These are my
worst drawings, Mr.. Smith" Indeed,
Tommy! and where are your other
ones ?" Young Hopeful-"Oh, [ haven't
dlawed them yet"
DANBuRY's grateful policeman was at
breakfast, wrestling with piece Of re-
markably-tough veal. His wife said to
him: "You always say there's some
thing to be thankful for in everything.
guess you'd be puzzled to find any
thing to be thankful for in that veal.
"Not at ALL" he cheerfully responded,
stopping to breathe, 81 was just think
ing how grateful we should be that we
met it when it was young"
FASHIONABLE emulation: Lady Speak
ing with difficulty" What have you
made it round the waist, Mrs. Price?"
Dressmaker =" Twenty-one inches,
ua'am; you couldn't breathe with
less" Lady What's Lady Jemima
Jones' waistp" Dressmaker-" Nine
teen and a half just now, ma'am but
her Ladyship's head shorter than you
are, and she's got ever SO much thinner
| since her illness last autumn" Lady
Then make it nineteen, Mrs. Price,
and I'll engage to get into it -
AN outspoken Judge had to sentence a
prisoner at Danville, Va, to prison for
eighteen years, for murder, the jury
making compromise verdict" The
| Judge informed the defendant that the
sentence was due to the "moral coward
ice OF twelve men" Telling him that he
considered him guilty, the Judge added:
you should rejoice and praise God
| THAT vou fell into the hands of and were
| TIED by jury OF your peers"