The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-09-02
ON tbs BRIDAL TOUR.

A few days before the solemn event,
Burney and the woman who was to be
| his bride, in mapping out plans for their
wedding tour, determined to keep from
the world the fact that they were but
newly married. II was the bride that
suggested the idea.
s.Loyey," she said-she called him
Lovey because he was big, overgrown.
broad-sheaildered. fellow who weighed
about one hundred pounds more than
herself-s'Loyey, why can't we act like
old married people while on our we'd
ding tour. i declare it will make me
feel uncomfortable to know that every
one is watching me. They do watch
brides, dent they?''
.sYes. / believe they do.'' said Bur-
ney.
s'Well, don't think persons have
right to be watching every motion a
bride makes, and I'm sure don't want
them watching me. And then it would
be so much fun to deceive them. I de-
clare it viii be just splendid for us to act
ike old married people while we are on
our wedding tour. Now we can, can't
weP'
Why, yes, suppose we can. Be-
fore others we can be grum and surly =
towards each other.
20, no; don't let's act that way If
you should speak cross to me I'd cry-I
know would"
but you must remember that Tn
not in earnest. The more surly we act
towards each other. the more we viii
deceive people, and the greater fun We
viii have laughing about it when we are
alone.
Very well," said the bride. s.Now
let's think howwe will act. Win Ihave
to scold you oceasionally?'
mo; why do you ask that?'
Because that's the way pa and ma act
when they are travelling. / declareit's
sometimes a half day before they ex-
change a pleasant word. / asked ma
what makes them act that way, and
she said she didn't know, but she sup
posed it was a habit both had grown in
to-"
The following evening the soon-to-be
married couple spent two hours rehears-
ing few of the many incivilities so COM
mon among married people.
Now" said Burney, twill you pre-
tend that sofa is car seat? You goseat |
yourself. and when I come and sit
alongside you, you must exclaim in |
loud voice, BE careful; you are as |
clumsy as a bear Can't you sit down |
without tearing my dress?'"
1t took twenty, minutes to get that |
portion OF the programme perfect
Neither of them appeared to be very |
apt scholars, for as soon as they were |
side by side they began hugging each
other. As soon as one hug was ended /
another was commenced. and this they |
kept up for over, fifteen minutes. Final
", Burney remembered it was married |
life and not cohrtship that they ought |
to be rehearsing, and decided to go back
TO the question before the house.
q After the bride had learned how to
call her husband bear in surly tone,
Burney proceeded TO rehearse another
portion of the programme he had mark
ed out.
AFTER you are seated" he said, s.H
the window is down, ask ma to put it
up. You had better ask in a whining
one, and then I'll reply gruffly, %,
ion't bother me! You are big enough to
wait ON yourself III I'm reading, ask
ne numerous questions Every time
rou do so IL either not reply at all, or
Use speak very snappishly. But don't
mind what / say; keep on bothering
ne, and I'll finally get up in an angry
mood and walk away and get another
eat. Ii we can carry on that part sue |
people will imagine we have
'eefl married long enough to celebrate
,ur tin wedding" l.
Yes said the bride. that win do
cry we'll in the ears but at the hotels
We cau't pursue the same little schemes. {
Fae hotels are what L dread the most.
We must have some scheme for Keeping
he people there from knowing that we
re alnssEly-married couple. ;,
s %, said Burney, ssthat will be easy
nough- Whenever we goront I'll slip
ut one door and ycu slip out the other.
We can arrange a meeting place far
nongh away % keep the people al. the
otel from getting down TO our scheme.
md then at the table instead of notic-
ag me you,u be looking at every other
roman in the room Remember, dear,
. i. at the table where most couples onI {
heir sseddiHg tours attract the most at
sntion. We mustn't consulteach other ]
bout the bin OF fare, and we mustn't