The Dillon tribune., 1882-02-11
4 Funny Crank.


have been entertaining several merchan,>
and trades'nen Tor weeks past, ,nuc:, To- ,,,..
profit ri some.
About three weeks ago a well dressed
MN, apparently nearing his fiiiieth birth.
day, but with natty, somewhat juven,..
loot onsamble, as they say in Bucktow,
dropped into fashionable tailoring, u,,,n
on Vine street. The s;,rv attendants r..
ceived him witt, distinguished co4,>i,l .r..
ton. 1t seemed to p'ease him. II. like,
it tina: way. Dantily taking from his YES.
pocket an ordiany pantaloons button h,
handed it to the clerk, witt, th.. remark: ~
will thank yo" sir, to finish this pantaloon,
Tor me as speedily as possible"
Tie clerk took the button, and laugh.
ingly asked was it all the gentleman ha,
toward the new trousers. To his ,,,...t
surprise, the customer replied It was, and
pulling out his purse, demanded how much
the rem Under would cost The clerk. with
more wit than he was aware OF. pulled o,,+
hi@ pencil, and, after figuring som.
moments, replied $9os.
"Then you only allow s cents TOR whuI
have supplied?' quericd the gentleman.
but quickly added that was ve,y reason.
able, come to think vi 1t, at the same tim.
handing the clerk $40 bill. lie va,
promptly given his change, aud til. clerk
suggested that the str ,nge customer had
better pick out the style Of cloth that VA.
to go into the pantaloons, and have hi,
measure taken, all Of which was readily
consented tn, and the gentleman departed
saying that he would cali for the garment
at the tim. promised for delivery.
Promptly at the appointed time he called
and found the button stuck on a part Of tho.
trousers where it will be speedily missed
when It's time comes 10 drop.
That clerk considers the whole transac.
ton, coupled with the unmistakablc earn.
estness Of the strange customer, inexpl;ca.
BILE.
However funny the clerks experience
may seem to him, It does not equal the
trade well-known florist and piscatoral
artist ON Fourth street had wit, the SAM.
customer. A week ago Saturday a car.
riage drove up to this miniature aquarium
dealers establishment, from which hi.
man Of the button alighted. The rig was
every way we'll appointed a liveried foot.
man being one Of the appendages thereto
The occupant Of the carriage took from il
pair Of two gallon tin cans with handles
attached, so that they might be- carried as
are water buckets. These he convened
into the store one al time. lie then pro.
ceeded 10 discuss the price OF an aquarium
which seemed to take his fancy. The price
was $3,.
"All right" said the gentleman. "rn
take it. But" he added, pointing to his
cans, "''ve brought water for the tanks
with me, and suppose you will make due
allowance on that account"
The florist. fishnan looked at his customer
with the re sular trade laugh, and re:narket,
that water was unusually high this win
ter; that, on. the whole, il wasn't a bad Joke.
The seriousness Of the customer, however,
appalled, the sulogical man, and h. quick
~ asked his customer what he considered Il
fa'r price Tor the water. The gentleman
said there was -four gallons, ana he though:
cents gallon would oe square figure.
This was agreed to, and the difference,
$31.So being paid, the gentleman left. say
Ing he would send for the whole business.
The cans bore the imprint Of Central.
! avenue h0Pf1ss,nro l1o1.s Il
certained they were made to order for
man answering the description Of the man
with the button.
Al no place has this strange individual
LEFT any trace of his identity. lie is ap-
parently man Of wealth and refinement,
ana aside tr''m playing the Dung thing in
'seole way, he has no apparent marked
peculiarities of manner. No doubt there
may be many episodes like the above
wherein the same individual Las figured
here. From all that could be ascertaine.,
ne appears to be a resident Of Cincinnati
Inc strangest story about this man
comes from main street gunsmith. y
customer answering his description calle!
one day las, week at this guns,nith's art.
inquired whether the trasiesnan made.
guns to order. Being answered in the
affirmative he began to undo long slcn-
der package, from which he produced !.
pasteboard continuance thirty FIVE inches
long and an inch in diamter. There was lii
extending the whole length. Carfully
opening 1t he took out an invisible some
thing, and said to the guns,nith: II would
IKE 20" to make me gun to this bor>
We measured it ond think you'll find !:
just t"'rty.two inches long and six cigh'hs
Of an inch in diameter"
"f understand you rightly" said the
s""sm'th, who thought the fellow crazv,
you want me to build gun around this
holcs"
Exact'y,' was the quick response.
"itow much will it COST"
The tradesman got to figuring and pres
entity answered.: "l'll make YOU single.
'arre:ed gun, with thi, bore, for Sis, ans:.