Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1882-10-14

PlTH AND POINT.

If yon had the material, would ia
maiea rum punch?
In Texas when q man wishes to cut
mn acquaintance his procedure is simple.
He Uses bowie-knife.
ADVICE to married men Put safety
valve upon your self-esteem if you do
not want to get blown up.
A ST.. Louis editor found nickel in
the street and wrote half-colnmn edi-
torial on Sour Increase of Wealth."
PRISONER, have you ever been con-
victed?" "No, your Honor; L have
always employed tirst-class lawyers. d"
JONES, getting up from his dinner. in
quiet way remarked to his landlady
that lie had found everything on the
table cold except the ice cream.
THE giraffe is q very tinlid animal.
His neck is so long that when his heart
comes into his mouth it takes him half
day to get it back where it belongs.
IT is learned that sharks are very
fond of cats as food. Now let some
body invent n method of teaching sharks
TO climb over soodslled roofs and back
yard fences.
BRI.LI>Nr and impulsive people,"
said lecturer OH physiognomy. "have
black eyes, or, if they dou't have 'em,
they're apt TO get them, if they're too
inpulsiye."
SOME one wrote to Horace Greeley
lpquiring if guano was good to put in
potatoes. H. sail it might do for those
whose tastes hail become yitiated with
tobacco and rum, but he preferred gravy
aud butter
LITTLE pair Of gloves that yet
Retain tue sIhc Of clover,
And Ju-t Il tingc OF luignolttte;
turn ttciii vaguely over,
And marvel how the G.ri kis Cd
trh;t night III y oniised t. I've true)
Gu d JAM i,iiiber seNcn h-t
Into lai'ry nui.her two.
PLaZE, mun, wud We obige poor
hye wild II light? Sure, you'v- only got
tn give one glance OF yer pnry eye at
me pipe, aud it'll shine like the shtnrs."
lie got tn. light aud good dinner be-
siae. Moral Always speak the truth
III presence # the fair SIX.
TEACHER Of spelling class - So First
10y may spell foot-tllb and give defini-
tion." First boy 80 F-o-o-t-t-u-b-a
tub to wash the feet in" Teacher
Second boy may spell knee-pan."
SecOud boy" K-n-e-e-p AHA pan to
wash the knees in." He didn't go up
head.
BsFoREt marriage,
With ~oiiicrvus Gaze,
SIR reeks the mirror,
Aud bangs her haze
Af.er the marriage,
With angry glare,
She gsab- hen slipper,
And bangs her heir.
Eor long ago, in French provincial
theater, n baritone made fearful croak.
Kisses and laughter in the audience.
Then the artist came gravely forward
md saluted the audience ''Messieurs,
/ discover that / have issued false
pote; withdraw it from circulation"
A BRIGHT little girl was sent to get
some eggs, and OH her way back
stumbled and fell, making sad havoc
with the contents of her basket. "Won't
you catch it when you get home.
though 1" exclaimed her companion.
I" No, indeed, WON'T" she answered;
i've got u grandmother.
TuR East Indian Prince of Gondal is
oil the eve Of matrimony. He is to lead
seven happy maidens to the altar all at
once. The troubled life OF an East In
dinn Prince has its compensations. just
think Of it Eight souls with but sin
gle thought, eight hearts that beat "a
one l-i,oston Transcript.
"MY gracious, child" said the old
lady to boy who offered to carry her
sachel for 5 cents, "whpre did you
get those hands from?" The'lad gazed
thunghtfully for moment at his pair
of fippels, that looked like punches Of
young onions, and then answered proud
~: 81 belong to the Tontine Baseball
G uh.
"I'D laugh if should tall and break
my neck" jestingly remarked James
Maloney, Of Tappan, N. Y, while in the
act Of descending from fall pear tree.
The next moment he lay upon the
ground w,th his neck broken. But he
didn't laugh. What inSernal liars some
men are.
In order to cure her husband Of drink
ing, oOlored woman III South Carolina
put concentrated I've in his whisky bot.
Tie. The last words he uttered were to
the effect that it would be a relief to him
to drop into Hades to cool of. and the