The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1882-08-06
snmmcr Rcanrt EtInuotto.

Common sense would seem to teach that
politeness aud gontiity arc tho same under all cond
Tons but fashion docs not always comply with sense
and besides genee people who not slaves Of fash
Ion often ind Il necessary to observe certain rules
that may sometimes SOON exclusive and suobhiIt In
order 10 avoid the lntrusions OF "pushing people ''
aud undcr familiarity Of tho vulgar 10 know what
some Of the rules Of good behavior are, especially al
times and places ont OF the ordinary course OF social
life Is matter Of convenience that an who are liable
to como together IN such places win appreciate The
editor ~ H1rpsrs Bds1r has taken pains to Inquire
Of those whose knowledge Is undoubtedly authority
on the etiquette Of watering places, and here is the
interesting result;
Tho great fault Of many new persons is that thcy
ao apt to GO too far to presume upon social Kindness
An example may 10 permitted. A few years ago At
seaside place lady took pity upon young and for
lOrn married woman To whom one spoke. She
talked to her OH tho plaza and brought her into the
charming circle Of intimates. few days after this
klnd-hoarted queen OF society astonlshed to re-
ceive request from her friend for tho loan Of
her bathing dress aud also to take the acquaint-
ance out In her carriage. OF course so palpable a
piece OF -breedng as this had to be met by decl
sve course u action. The leader OF society wrote
Kind note, saying, Bathing dresses arc not loaned
nor do ladies ask other people to take them out In
their cattagos.N This offended the young and for
l0rn married woman to such degree that she forgot
all tho previous Kindness aud to this day speaks Of
tho pride aud sn0bbery Of her first friend
Again now conner at y watering place often Of
tends by display OF wealth, by too great monopoly
OF diamonds and by the persistent offers OF hor car
balls, aud garden parties. She SaSSot %ndsrsIand
why tho quiet woman In the corner In shabby SILK
has such an air OF distinctions why She Is tho arbiteI
OF fashlOn why everybody up tn her to o hon
ored by an nroduction while she herself, In her ro-
galy magnificent robes, hears tho fell echo, 'shock-
| ingly vulgar ~ rs she passes
She SECS the lady In tho shabby silk selected for her
manners and conversational powers; she learns that
she is power In the State, and the dame OF diamonds
determines 10 know her.
hut, as II an adamantine wall descended and shut
her out, the nsnUedu richie never enters Mrs. c.
circle, and she rotires, saying, 81 wish some one
would denne the etiquette OF watering place for
That Mrs G. took such airs and wonder II she Is any
better than am ~
the many reasons why certain people not enjoy that
crowd which our grcgarlous nature makes necessary
to us.
Then, again, by crlnglng, fiattery, and readiness
Ia serve society. In matter what capacity there Is
no doubt that many most unworthy person gets a
sort or position In wateringplace hotel and can be
most outrageous social tyrant. We have all seen
such men and such women. Many pretty woman
has been ostraczed because she was pretty; many a
lovely girl has been driven away from Watering
place because some illtempored society leader found
that she was In the way. There such Torquemaia
as such social campagner she knows neither Justice
nor mercy.
To pass these grim senlnes who stand at the gates
waving flaming sword Is the everyday novitiate OF
the society climber. Experience and observation In
society arc tina only means by which acquires the
polish which society demands. person must watch,
walt and learn slowly. A young woman must look
at the models who succeed; while avoiding the
''cheek " which made Mrs. l.. social incubus, she
must emulate that charming mixture of and of
cordiallty which makes Mrs. NJ q delight and A
pattern.
No ono can obtain an entree into the best society,
to state the proposition generally, who Is found to be
deficient In delcacy and In good breeding, nor, II
she does succeed by extraordinary good luck or ac-
clent, or by her andacity. In pushing her way into
sets which she considers good society,", will she be
tolerated there long. Her failure viii DO painful her
final ejectment silent but sure.
Hut the circles OF good society are growing wider
and wider. ha tla
good belong to any one set We see the millionaire OF
yesterday. whose knees once held the apstone now
clever and a cultivated man, whose wife and daugh-
tiers have the and the habits of good society:
we see the descendant of our proudest old family a
vulgar and disreputable snob, or worse.
Therefore we must throw away all questions of
birth. But the value of good manners remains. In
deed, 1t is our only Book of the Peerage.n Lord
bacon said that stone must he very precious one
that could do without setting and that q man
must be very great one to dispense with social oh
servances.
mis that ladies speak to each other without an intro
dnction, hut gentleman can never speak TO lady
unless he is properly introduced
Then he must be careful how he forces himself upon
the friendship Of ladies'; he must walt for them TO
bow first, although he must always tip his hat on the
stairs as he passes any lady. lie must receive spe-
cial Invitation before he presumes to join any party
for lawn tennis, or fshing or picnic, any Of the
Join one set of festivities, he must DO slow to push
himself Into others.
And so with young married couple, who find
the leading set OF the house. They must stand a
little on their dignity, and 'make themselves
scarce' occasionally; nor show too much pleasure
In the honor which has been done them.
1t is perfectly proper for people to be good terms
at watering place, to talk on the piazza, and at
the bath or water-,lrinking rooms and not TO know
| each other when they return Ia their own cities.
poteness thus may he used as sort of HRgGd
Jrdhcd, which every one uses when necessary, hut
which one drops on returning to his own country
This may seem cold and heartless, but 1t Is after ALL
only one OF the safeguards of society," not often used
but sometimes needed.
This answers to the neutral ground of the flag of
truce and the conditions OF armstice and If these
rules OF war were carried out fully no watering place
would he stupid.
Avoid those people at watering places who make
themselves conspicuous by any attempt at slnguarty
IL men women openly rebel at fashion, and then
rush to fashions market-place to show themselves
the secret spring of such action must be vanity and
vanity alone.
far that they are neither conspicuous for their
nor peculiar by their opposition to 1t. The fashion Of
to-day tends toward simplicity of manners and dress
! at Watering place. Diamonds and brocades In the
morning mark the hopelessly vulgar and indeed very
regal toilettes even for the evening are seldom nav
worn ut watering places by the best people.
Noyoung lady should go to watering place. ex-
pecting to enter upon Its gayeties. without chap
she should hasten to put herself under the care OF
some married lady who Will matronize her on the
piazza at the casino, the balls concerts, aud on
to, 1t would avert much scandal, and remember, a
watering place is a very scandal-loving place
person who Is distinguished In his or her own
city In birth, position, wealth. or in acquire
ments Should going to a watering place, drop all
these titles east aside every feeling of superiority
enter the social ranks private and try to int!u-
ence the general hilailty and the general good feel
Ing.
Such generous and benehcent souls never lose cast
by such proceeding. 1t is only the weak headed
who accuse such a woman of being too gem
eral She is the true general who does the utmost
for tho entertainment and the happiness of the whole
household. Coincidence without pride. modesty
without shyness, dignity without stiffness, - may be
quoted as good formulary. We are only AL atoms,
should DO our duty not to he hard angular and dis
agreeable atoms.
Cards are generally dispensed with at watering
place except AT the conspicuous ones like Newport,
Saratoga, and the like where they necessary; the
etiquette, therefore, attending them need not be
tered Into largely.
gentleman sends up his card to q lady by the SER
want II he wishes To call upon her speak to her
Sometimes ladies send their cards to each other
rooms, but this Is unnecessary. II lady goes
to another house to SEQ friend or To call new
acquaintance she must send her card and 1t should
be returned the next day
In case any one sends or brings letter of introduce
tiOn To lady at watering place hotel she must send
her husband card with note, saying when she Will
receive The guest. one OF our correspondents asks
how she can get rid Of the watering place bore. Alas
there has been no antidoe discovered yet for the
poison of the scarlet fever have we ever heard of
any preventive that will keep oil the bore. He Is
the worse disease which infccts the modern watering
place.
The hours Of a watering place are determined by
tile amusements or the cure practiCed at each Al
Saratoga the hours are very early people rise to
drink the waters. Al Newport they are from eleven
O'Clock until three for morning visits, the afternoon
being reserved for driving. At Rchfeld and sharon
they are indiscrimnate, owing to the baths; gener-
ally, however, people consider the afternoon tho time
TO call. Al seaside places, like Long Branch and
Mount Desert no card etiquette can be prescribed;
people call dine drive, battle, or boat The 1T takes
them.
Telling ~ Story.
They We're sitting on the veranda after
tea, when the man with story began to tell II.
Z" ny the way - he said, - | heard good thing In
Inv N tn.uu