Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1882-07-22
BEN APPLEBY,s MULE.
How the COnceit was Taken Out Of
Him.

How the Conceit was Taken Out Of
From the st. Louis Republican.
Several politicians from the rural districts
were seated in front of the Laclede hotel yes
terday afternoon conyersing upon matters and
things in general and devoting a large share of
the talk to politics, when the name of a st.
Lousan, who has held public office, was men,
toned. In the group was tall, ungainly indi-
vidua, dressed in well-worn clothes and having
the air of a village lawyer. His nose had a
pronounced flush, Indicative Of the bibulous
habits of the owner, and his voice had back
woods twang which showed that the greater
portion of his life had been spent in the Interior
of the state. He was evidentlya man of limited
education, but he could talk glibly enough, and
was not at all modest in advancing his opinion.
He sat tipped back in his chair with his able
bodied feet and muddy boots braced up against
one of the pillars in front of the hotel. When
| the name of the st. Louis politician. who may
be called Smythers, was mentioned, he emptied
about a quart of tobacco juice in the gutter and
broke out with:
Him? Dog-gone him, haint got no use for
him. an never had"
''Why, what's the trouble with him?" asked
one of the group.
'Trouble?" repeated the first speaker, ''trouble
enough; he's got the idee inter his head that
he's fust cousin to GOddlemighty, an is the
greatest man this country ever perduced. He'll
git took down some day s true g you're born
never see him that 1 don't think of Ben APP
plebys mule"
"HOw does he resemble Ben Appleby's mule?"
asked one of the group. laughing.
"Well, I'll tell yer. Ben had q mule as had all
the points that Smythers has. He was one Of
the kn0wingest cusses you ever saw.
DUNNO WHERE BEN FOUND HIM,
but one day he come drivin' home with this
mule hitched ter the tail end Of his wagon. He
was innocent lookin' animal, plump an fat an
looked liked he was goin' ter be good fer suth-
in. We'll, the next day after Ben got i'm hum he
tried to hitch i'm up, but he wouldn't be htched.
He jest eeverlastin'ly kicked the wagon into
spinters. He kicked one eend outer ther stable,
an kicked ther stall down an kicked everything
in sight. Ben took i'm out in the cOrn-feld one
day an hitched i'm to pillow, but he up an
kicked that pillow over inter Their next lot. He
was all right under saddle but ther mint Ben
tried ter hitch i'm ter anything he Jest kicked 1t
outer sight. No matter where he was, if things
didn't suit i'm, he jest let himself out an kicked.
Nobody but Ben dast go near i'm. Well finally
he diskivered that
EVERYBODY WAS SCARED OF I'M,
an he got the idee that he was the greatest
mule in that section of ther country. He had q
way of cOckin' one ear fOrrard an the other
backards an winkin' one eye when anyone came
near i'm, as much as to say: Git onto me; I'm
Ben Appleby's kickn mule. and don't yer for
git it. When Ben would be ridin' i'm long
Their road an they'd pass another mule. he'd
jist git his ears in position an wink an grin as
much as ter say I'm the only mule in this
county. I'm kicker, l am He seemed to
understan' tibet he he'd the dead wood on Ben,
| an that nobody could hitch i'm to no sort of a
vehicle. He got chuck ram full of concet, an
useter parade hisself aroun' the barnyard like
he owned the place Ben made up his mind as
how the mule wouldn't never be no count till
he was broke to drive In harness. He tried all
sorts 'er ways. He htched i'm to mown'
machine, an the result was he had ter get a new
machine. The mule kicked it all outer shape.
He broke up everything that Ben tried ter hitch
i'm to. Bimeby Ben got mad. He swore he'd
take the cOnceit outer that animal if it TUX his
hull farm. Then 90" 49, ~s''
HE BEGUN TO STUDY UP TIER CASE, 2 -
till one day man come along with one of them
farm engines what they run thrashin' mersheens
with. Ben says to i'm: I'll give yer five
dollars if you'll let me hitch my mule to that
mersheen.' Git out yer mule seq the man,
an Ben led i'm outer the stable. He can't pull
it, seq the man. Never mine,' SEE Ben, he
an the mule he knOwed in mint what was
gOin' on. He cooked his ears backards an for
rards. an grinned an seZ to hisself; =
They'm gOin' to hitch me 't6 that tfffh =!
DOg-gone my skin, I'll kick it Inter rae one4t
county. I'm Ben Applebys kickin mule, I am.
Watch me now an see how do it.
"Well. Ben an the man got i'm hitched up to
the macheen an he began to kick agin Their
bOler-head. He kicked an he kicked an he
kicked. but the macheen never budged. Ben
an the man sat on the fence watchn the job
an the man laughin' fit to kill hisself.
BEN LOOKED KINDER SATISFIED,
but he never fetched smile. Bimeby the mule
settled down on his four legs, an swung his
head arOun' an said to hisself: .....7. 49,.
how? She don't fetch worth cent. Maybe
sometimes ther matter with my legs. I'll go
fur it agin. anyhow
AN he set his teeth together an begin to
kick agin. Well, sir, he hammered his heels
agin that boiler-head till he was black in the
face, but she never weakened. Then he'd stop
an take breath an swear. an then he'd kick
agin. Well sir, he KEEP that up fur half an hour
till he was as weak as cat, an then he stopped
and Hoped both ears fOrrard an cried like a
baby. Ben let i'm stan there a little WHILE an
then he onhitched i'm an took i'm back to the
stable. The next day he hitchcd i'm up to q
buggy. an he trOtted off without sayin' word
an to-day he's as decent an respectable mule
as they is in the county. Bens wife drives i'm
body d hitch Smythers to farm engine, an
let i'm kick while, he might git to be some
account"
Somebody in the group suggested drinks, and
there was a scramble for the bar-rOOm
"Reminiscences of GaribaIdi.
Alberto Mario in Macmillan's Magazine
Toward the end of June, as we were assem-
bled on the terrace of the pavilion where all
the elite of Palermo used to gather in the eve
ming in the hopes of seeing the general seven