Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1882-02-11

a picture of George Washington in
a green jacket and an apron covered
over with eyes and columns and
other queer pictures! Amt he a
loony Well, that's my Sam,
and I've stood it as long as I'm goin'
to.
"The next lunge the old fool made
was into the Odd Fellows. I made
it warm for him when he came home
and told me he'd jined them, but he
kinder pac1fied me by telling me
they are sort of branch show that
took in women, and he'd get me in
as soon as he found out how to do
/ it. Well, one night he came home
and said I'd been proposed, and
somebody had black .balIed me. Did
it himself, of course. Didn't want
me around knowing about his goings
on. OF course he didn't and I told
him so.
"Then he jined the Sons of Nal
ter. Didn't say nothing to me about
it, but sneaking off one night, pre-
tendin' he'd got to sit up with sick
Odd Fellow, and I'd never found it
out, only he come home lookin' like
a man who had been through a
threshing machine, and wouldn't
do a thing for him until he owned
up. Aud so it's gone from bad to
wus, jinin' this and that and t'other,
till he's worship master Of the Ma
sons, and goodness of hope of the
Odd Fellows, and sword swallower
in the Finnegans, and virgin cerus
of the grange, and grand Mogul of
the Sons of Incidence, and two-leg-
ged tomahawk of the United Order
of Red Men, and tale bearer of the
Mereiful Manikins, and skipper of
the Guild Caratrine Columbus, and
big wizard of the Arabian Nights,
and pledge passer Of the Reform
club, and chief bugler of the Irish
Mechanics, and purse keeper of the
Order OF Canadian Conscience, and
double barreled director of the Royal
Arch angels, and sublime porte of
the Onion League, and chief butler
of the Celestial Cherubs, and puts
SAINT potentate Of the Fortified Polly
wogs, and goodness only knows what
else. I've borne it, and borne it,
hopin' he'd get 'em all jined after a
while, but faint no use, and when
he'd got into new one, and been
made grand guide of the Nights OF
Horror, | told him I'd quit, and
will.u
/ Here the Mayor interrupted, say
ing.
" Well, your husband is pretty
well initiated, that's a fact; but the
court Will hardly call that good
cause for divorce. The most of the
societies you mention are composed
of honorable men with excellent
regulations. Many of them, though
called lodges, are relief associations
and mutual insurance companies,
which, if your husband should die,
would take care Of you and would
not see You suffer if you were sick"
"See me suffer when Pm sick!
Take care of me when he's dead!
Well, | guess not; 1 can take care
OF myself when he's dead, and if
can't / can get another! There's
plenty of 'em! And they needn't
bother themselves when l am sick,
either. If | want to be sick and
suffer, it's none of their business,
especially after all the suffering I've
had when | amt sick, because of
their carryin's OH. And you needn't
try to make me believe it's all right,
either. / know what it is to live
with man that jines so many
lodges that he don't never lodge at
home"
"Oh, that's harmless amusement
quietly remarked the Mayor.
She looked him square in the eyes
and said: 81 believe you are liner
YOURSELF
He admitted that he was to a
certain extent, and she arose and
said: ~ would not have thought it.
A man like you, chairman Of Sab
bath school, its enough to make a
woman take pisen! But I don't
want anything of you. | want a
lawyer that don't belong to nobody
or nOthin'.v And she bolted out of
the office to hunt up man that
wasn't jiner.-Erchange.
They who are weary Of life, and
yet are most unwilling to die, are
such that have lived to no purpose
who have rather breathed than lived.