Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1882-10-19
SPICE AND AllSPlCE.

Why, gentle reader, do We always find
U in trouble ?-N. Z NeWs. Give it
up; we always find U ahead of U.s.
BOston Conn. Bulletin.
VIsrToR-"Ain't them pretty old ducks
for base ball nine?" Rector" My
dear sir they're not ball players; it is the
theological faculty Of my college. -
Puck.
"N. W. PREFERRED" my husband
mutters in his sleep, and know as well
as l want to that he means that nasty
whisky. can tell it by his breath -
Syracuse Herald.
A MOTHER who fondly put the query
to her young son, "What would you do
without "a mother, Tom ?" was dumb
founded with the reply: Do as like,
ma. "-BOstOn STIR.
The chronological Journal declares
that whistlng is good for the lungs, and
we know hundred boys in Detroit who
are lungs clear down to their boots
Detroit Free Press.
WELL, / shall do my best to have JUS
tice done you;" said the lawyer to his
client. "Indeed, if you are going to do
lDut, GepIltu llit IuSSdlt tulLih u
better be off at once.
The newest style in earrings is miDia-
ture lanterns.-N y. Com. AdU. Bet
ter be lantern cared than lantern. iawed,
but girls are apt to be light-headed.-
Boston Conn. Bulletin.
"YoU'RE as sweet as peach" he
said, patting her softly on the cheek.
Yes" she murmured, smuggling still
nearer to him, "Pm cling-stone. -
Rockiand Courier Gazette.
SEVERAL of our exchanges are devotin2
considerable space to the Importance OF
"cooking girls" It's no use. We
don't want them cooked. The raw dam
sci is good enough for us.-Harttord
Times.
Mrs. PARTINGToS honored US with
call this morning. She Is looking well,
and she says she is like the windows OF
renovated house--all the old panes
are out Of her, and the pneumatics are
things of the past.-Bost0n Star
"OH, Mr.. Smith," exclaimed Gertie,
"may | 60 with vou and see your nice
little puppies?" "What do you mean,
Gertie?" exclaimed her father in aston
ishment. "Why papa" said Gertie,
"didu't You say Mr.. Smith was going to
the dogs?"
They were two little children, and
they were painting pictures in their
school books. One youngster finished
COW in blue, AMI then remembered
never to have seen blue cow. Never
mind" encouragingIy said the other;
"we'll say the COW is cold.
/. ln
he said to the old darkey. "Yes, massa :"
Had nard time in life, eh ?" "Specs
| has, massa !" Ever sold?" "Golly,
yes, massa. Some isaSss- pat -A1ot half
dollar on de sidewalk, only dis mawnin,
sab; | was sold by dat. - Boston Past
"MY son, said Philadelphia father,
whenever YOU start TO do a thing,
never half do it," "Must | always do
both halves 2" asked the hopeful son.
"Yes," was the reply. And then the
lad who had stealthIly devoured half
pie sneaked back into the pantry and
gobbled the other half.
The editorials in nearly all the New
York papers on the political situation IN
PENNSYLVANIA are about as accurate and
reliable as the Frenchman's book on
America, in which he locates the state OF
Ohio in Boston, California in Pniiadel-
phia, and speaks of President Tllden A.
Chester. NOrr. Herald.
- BELIEVE you are fool, John,'
testify exclaimed Mrs. Miggs, as her
husband unwittingly presented her the
hot end of potato dish, which she
promptly dropped and broke. -" Yes,
he added, resignedly, Z" that's what the
clerk told me when l went 10 take
ont my marriage license. '-Brooktyn
Eagle.
HEARD IN boarding house: 81 can't
bear grizzly meat" said the gruff old
bachelor. Neither can L a grizzly
bear" chimed in the boss ef the rancho,
as she looked daggers at the first speaker.
1t wasn't very funny, but everybody ex-
cept the bachelor smiled, and the land
lady served up chickens for dinner that
evening.
Whose statue is that? ?" asked we'll
known member Of the New York judi
ciary OF his companion, as thes were rid
| ing through the park one Sunday last
summer. "Why, that's Humboldt"
replied the other. What IN thunder
did they want TO give Humboldt statue
for o. said tie Judge; she never did
nothing but invent buchu."
Pa" said the inquisitlve small boy,
"what do they mean by unanimousf
Unanimous, my son, unanImous-ah,
why. when all the men want the same
thing, that's unanimous. Politicians
is all unanimous, amt they, pa ?? No;
my son, not by a jugful." "Well,
don't see why, 'cavse they all want a
Office, anyhow. ."-Teraa Oddities.
A PROMINENT Austin politician woke
up his colored man a few nights ago and
told him to search the house, as he was
sure there was burglar on the premises.
The darkey hunted the house all over
and reported as follows: Colonel, l
has hunted from top to bottom, ana Ell
dar is any 'spishous character 'ceptin'
you in de house, l can't find him. '--Ierds
Sytings.
A VERY quick child made an observa-
tion to her governess the other day,
which had a great deal Of truth in 1t.
"How is it, my dear, inquired the lady
"that Won do not understand this sim
ple thing?" 81 do not know, indeed,
she answered, with perplexed look;
"but sometimes think 1 have so many
things to learn, that have not time to
understand"
"How much shall l make of this ?"
asked the reporter of the city editor, re-
ferring to an atter:pt at burglary where
the midnight marauder was frightened
away by the cries of woman. "Four
words, laconically responded the news
handler. After studying the matter
carefully the reporter condensed half
column account into, "Woman yelled;
burglar pell-melled.
You know how it is in country vii.
lage. Neighbors are always guying and
iokiug each other. Well, the other
night, in q certain New Hampshire town,
q polecat got loose and made things
mighty affecting, as it were. DIR. w.
had been sorely pestered Oy the guying
Of his neighbor, Major q. He saw his
opportunity. He knew everybody In the
vicinity would be looking out to see wha