Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1882-09-01
WIT AND HUMOR.

,,, as "u' ''o'' "k'n'A'ns N this
r.as,,a., b.. I,,. =" s'p "'"'" IL
y 1919 III inns 1'uBus' weather
= "'aei'eu ''a' Congressman succeed
~ ~ ""N''s ,n'o Tue hiVcr ana fiafbof Dill
''.'c appropriation which Is to he used in
~,
''"'''"" countess III LONDON,
,,. o 49, W '''u '"'a'fn'' aPpe''"''oh OF
"'"'"
Emma Noiier OF Red Bluff, Cal, WAS 50
nhor''hcu ny her sweethearts appearance US
al @S'''c''c al an entertainment that she
uieu AFTER suffering intense mental agony.
Lucky that Burlington girls are not so sus-
cepuo'e as That or there would be dozen
funerals day.
Useful information on impor,ant ma,,ers
Arab is pronounced "Ar,hbi " win u,o
accent on the second syllablr. and ,boT
,rv ,ro,o,,rcoo ho, -. ar
nv '''-'e i'ons'iee'
An English journal urges young ladies To-
Shut IN the ninno and ,oLo ~, u...,,t-,,.
The advice will of course ho ,,,,au,., -,
,,,,,,., ,i,.a,.,t,...-r '''""e" W
'"'"s '''''' ""A''"S ior DOW
jersey veteran Is claiming n pension and
seventeen Years arrears on tho or,n,nd -,
| ''chronc laziness, contracted in the army -
|
| '''' ""'e'eu hacnihe Is called Trey
cir, two'wheeled bicycle, and one
wheeled an icic-no, wbcel-barrow
| MT, :. ,,
mus 10 i'"c why that Elizabeth stuart
Phelps characteristic State of Maine in the
ipstalmen, of her novel ..Doc,or za,n t. a.
current number of the A1on,i,-- oyo ,,,or.
do how .yor,,,,;n,, ,-,,sa ,
800 NV .,,'y'"'"B ""sS mere thah DINER
iolNs' SAD Il passenger In the Bangor mail
coach. Freeze and prohibition. mud and
fusion We've got one of the constitutions ,ha,
take things. like NV how He's hod Fla, ,,,oas
Ia. y, ,,a o,;o,o ''' '".a
''' 'N'e cn'chen-PN' the mumps the
nettle rash, and fell in love with his school
marin, n got religion, and lost the nrize for
elocootin', all in one darned year"
Several Summer racer, ho,,I too,,,., ,..
died durjur ,ho mas, month or ,,,p IL nat Il
supposed they fatally sprained Themselves iu
the Spring in the effort to raise their prices.
-Norr&to,en HeraM
Magistrate. ..You are cbarged win b,vira
cmntied hasi, nj wa,ar - ,,,' 'i.i.',;.. +
! lrishwoman, "Shure, Your honor, he must
, forgive me in the dark | took the gen
tlcman for my husband"
A, ;,;,,, ,,,
nn i''n'ianl preacher once breahias'eu Al
ui ,on,d WIFI JOHNNY cahes were served
oI.a ''ns aea'ner pro.ruuiilg from MS
oaSu, w i.,i'a h SISTER your tommy
eah , sem 70 oe nsa'heflhg OUT. res
4 John no longer than yesterday that he must
, either get cover for the meal barrel or move
5 the hen roost."
$ The war in Epyp, will soon he ended In
: addition to its new uniform the British
,rnons aro IN woar h,na noraIas rho 81.
: lowers Of Arab will mistake them for Bos-
ton school-ma'a ans, and fold their tents like
Arabs and silently steal away. LINN Bee.
According To a certain decision in Lowe
a rirl can retain any nresents medo ~ bo e hr
. lover whom She afterwards discards. Iowa
IL VIII soon De the champion State for dollar
e stores -Ihtddetphid Meas.
g We have forty.siy rear sdmir,ls unde,
e pay. The rear OF the navy seems to be well
: protected. -Lo,ceN Courier
It es, SAID Morgan, the gentleman you
s speak OF IS very agreeable as you say
found him one OF the most agreeable men
ever met. lie doesn't say much, "-Loioe!
e f"''eh.
J. Said the practical man, You can talk all
, you want to about phrenology. think it is
= all stuff. The only important bump ever
8 o on u, my ctaniu was ae,emrisht IN me
+ haao hoi, Wy ~ was l'a"e py
!, h,,,,''s So W." , luu.u W 'an II ule
= on'nip,,, % 'a, a,,, aS ,i u,u Auow
II | T;,:.5 ~ d. w Va WV way 0"e'
r,
n They tell of an Indiana girl who works il
!. the harvest field during the day and enter
Il tains her company with piano recitals during
IS the evening No doubt her work and play
,,J '''"' 'Aee"'n''' 'S'"e"~ HT
.s ,,..
Mistress Forget i ! Why, told you
> lolmprc's II on your mind Bridget "l
! was on me moind put u, mum, an me
!. Bq-ar.
4
Is Gays Tue rhilauelphia wees Franz
o J "a ~ unueclueu wlelner 10 return 70 Tut
West ana ROB express trains or go to Niagara
+ and buy hack For the sake OF humanity
e we trust ne VIII adopt The former course
u Boston Post.
i Sitting R,l, ia Az WARS ola I'm, rr,r,,,
!, si..,nS pun ,'t ~ ~ yeals olu, oul pIouui.
Srn,, ,ha ~ .". n ,at ~. lam wi
,o'' we ua,, ~, tna' ';,h H., ~, WIN Gu
. no. ""u " Jaa ,tot', WV, .ae ooss' e.e.,
afraid hn wonld cav y Ind,sn ro,s ~ ~
l. different from white man.-Burlingt0I
II Hdckeye.
V An, ro,v ,ho o,,,, No,.s,o ,,,,s,,;,
, ai, u ,, ~" .nv ID, I iiosqui.'
ai""s h . ,,nan1as1 ny u M.in us niu
I I 10 w 1,nnan ,,,an,, m.,' nc neieu,e'ons U
;m,, ,noir ,,,arad "uo ,'i'',Mui nenn
IN NV. 80, .'ia'lsons eanMiilie
nt,, ~, .a, .,au ni.Se'aU,y nie;
a mn ny n.a'eliins hss'et'ousy his maui
r ,ou NE, auu llGou''y Iiateh'"s ny
: 'ne i'i'sts vi '''c 'ho'''''g' -n0"t''o N'"''
1t 'o"'""'