Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1882-09-23
Misffllal1f0ns.
II had slipped Down His Trousers Leg.

They had a terrible time at wedding
up at Petaluma. Ii seems that the cere-
mony was a very grand affair. indeed
There were eight bridesmaids. and the
church was crowded But when they got
TO the proper place in the ceremony. and
the groom began feeling round for the
ring. he discovered the magic circlet had
slipped through hole in his pocket and
worked down into his boot. He ccmmu-
nicated the terrible fact in whisper to
the bride, who turned deadly pale and was
only kept from faintiDg by the reflection
that they would inevitably cut the strings
Of her satin corsage If she did
why don't you produce the ring
whispered the brides big brother. hoarse-
Il y. and feeling for his pistol. under the
impression that the miserable man was
about to back out.
Il can't it is in my boot" exclaimed
the groom under his breath, and he put
one foot on the chancel rail, pulled up his
trousers-leg and began making spasmodic
labs for the ring with his fore fingers.
/ The minister mOtiOned to the organist To
squeeze few notes to fill up the time,
while rumor rapidly went through the
congregation to the effect that the
groom had four wives living in the East,
already.
Il / can't reach it, groaned the bali
married man in agony. 1T won't come
sit down and take your boot off. you
foolr, Kissed the brides mother. while
the bride herself moaned piteously and
wrung her powdered hands.
There was nothing left, so the sufferer
sat down on the floor and began to wrestle
with his boot, which was naturally new
and tight, while fresh rumor got under
way that the groom was beastly drunk,
and insisted on pairing his corns. As the
boot finally came off, its crushed wearer
endeavoreG, unsuccessfulv, to hide a
trade dollar in the heel OF his stocking,
noticing which, the parson. who was a
sky contractor, said grimly:
You seem to be getting married just
in time, my young friend y
And the ceremony proceeded with the
party oil the first part standing on one leg,
trying to hide his well-ventilated foot un
der the tail of his coat. and appropriately
muttering, Darn it ~ at short intervals
San Francisco Post.
During the early part Of the late war,
Gen. Chatfield of New York went out to
visit some Ohio regiments. when the fol-
lowing incident Of the movement was re-
lated to him As they went along on their
way some of the soldiers stepped out OF
the ranks and .'confiscated'' couple OF
geese, and at the suggestion of an ingen-
ious fellow and natural hummer" one
of the drummers unheaded his instrument
and put the captured birds in. Shortly
afterwards the colonel came along and
noticing that the boy shirked his usual
drum whacks, rode up to him and said !:
"Why don't you beat that drum ?''
Colonel" said the startled musician, Il
want to speak to You" The colonel drew
still closer to him. and bending down his
head. said: well, what have you to
say ?" The drummer whispered: Colonel
I've got couple of geese IN here. The col
onel Strengthened up and said: "Well. if
you're sick and can't play. you needn't, p"
and then rode on. 1t is needless to add
that the colonel had roast goose that
night.