Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1882-04-20
ALL SORTS.

| sAA~ so8OedDio kln8oOmS-H06n.
A stitch in Time may save nine:
put ne never seems to be entirely sewn
| up.
The most formidable stand against
oppression ever made was the ink
stand. rA--
When person declares that his
.brain is on fre.". is it etiquette to
blow it out?
81 occasionally drop into poetry:
as the man said when he fell into the
editorial waste basket.
Why should Romeo not have cared
for the month of Junep Because IL
was not July yet (Juliet)
The best way of raising money is by
the lever Of industry. The gripping
miser raises his by screw power.
1t is fearfully true that an ape in
velvet is just as much an ape as an
ape in rags, but the world don't think
| so.
When a man becomes so good that
he ceases to think of himself you may
safely conclude that he is out of his
mind.
1t is a little singular that when q
tenant wants to hold his house for
another year he always does his best
to re- lease it.
The most exclusive circle-The Arc
tic Circle, which few have succeeded
In getting into, and in which no one
can long stay.
Swinging is said by the doctors to
| be very good exercise for q persons
health; but many a poor wretch has
come to his death by it.
The woman of to-day rejoices in her
excellence over the woman of yester-
day, but when her pretensions are in
vestigated there is nothing found.
Nothing is so hard to bear as pros
perity, so they say; but the truth is
that it is other peoples prosperity
which is hard to bear, not your own.
"Dear mer' exclaimed young Fits
frizzle, "if thought / was going to
turn gray, I really believe l should
die!' He did turn gray, and soon
thereafter he dyed.
"Lenny," said his maiden aunt, "you
should eat the barley in your soup, or
you'll never get a man." Lenny, look
ing up innocently, inquired, lis that
what you eat it for, auntyr"
Full many an ache of soreness deep
and keen, the walkings of a nights
carousal bear; full many man who
with "the boys" hath been, feels in the
morn his wife's hand in his hair.
An undertaken was sued the other
day for breach of promise of marriage.
He pleaded that he was compelled for
business reasons to break off the match,
the lady was so devoid of symetery.
A veteran was relating his exploits
to crowd of boys, and mentioned hav-
ing been in five engagements. "That's
nothing" broke in little fellow. sMy
sister Sarah's been engaged eleven
times"
Mr.. Stuart once met lady, who said
to him, II have just seen your likeness,
Mr.. Stuart, and kissed it, because it
was so much like you" "And did it
kiss you in return?" said he. mo-"
replied the lady. "Then it was not
like me-"
An Irish drummer, who now and
then INDUCED in a noggin of potteen,
was accosted by the reviewing gener-g
al: "What makes your nose so red %
"Plase, your honor" replied the drum
mer, 81 always blush when / spake to
a gineral officer"
"Father, did you ever have another
wife besides mother?" '.No. my boy.
What possessed you to ask such a
| question: Because ! saw in the old
family Bible where you married Ammo
Domini, in 1885; and that isn't moth
er, for her name was Sally Smith,"
A boy came home from school much
excited, and told his father that he be-
lieved all human beings were descend
ed from apes, which made the Old m IN
so mad that he replied angrijy, ssTnat
may be the case with you, but it amt
with me. 1 can tell you that, now"
Gus Singsadley was asked if he made
any calls New year, and replied: "Yes,
l called once on kingfull and cOllided
with fOms. OF course, blew in my
last cent, and l shall not be able to
call again until next year, Hless the
old man dies and leaves me his sand"
A gentleman, whose nose had be.
come distinctly colored with the red
wine he was wont to imbibe, said one
day to his little son at the table "You
must eat bread, my boy; bread makes
your cheeks red." The little boy re-
piled, "Father, what lots of bread you
must have snuffed up"
/ A deaf man listened to one of the
really eloquent speakers of thirty or
forty years ago. He was bathed in
tears at the pathos, and reused to the
most vociferous applause by the pass
ages. 81 can't hear a darned word"
he said. "But. great Jericho, don't he
do the motions splendidw &
! Texas Siftings: An effort will be
made to reduce postage from three to
two cents. If this is done, we hope
the face OF some other patriot than
Washington will be put on the two
cent stamp, otherwise it will look "a