The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1882-12-23

made en-, and VIC told him II was q
solemn occasion, and we wouldn't
permit no levity, and IL he didn't
sop lailing we couldn't give him
the grand bumper, degree. Then
everything was ready, and my chum
had his hand on the closet door, and
some kyan pepper in his other hand,
and asked pa in low bass tones, IL
he felt MS though he wanted to turn
back, or IL he had nerve enough to
go ahead and take the degree.
warned him that it wos of full dam
gers, rs the goat was loaded for bear,
and told him he yet had time to retrace
his steps If he wanted to. He said
he wanted the whole bizness, and we
could go ahead with the menagerie.
Then said to pa that If he had de-
eide TO 90 ahcad, and not blame us
for the consequences, to repeat after
me the following: Bring forth
the Royal Bumper, and let him
Bnmp!" Pa repeated the words,
and my -chum -sprinkled the kyan
pepper on the goats moustache, and
he sneezed once and looked SASSY,
and then he see the lager beer goat
raring up, and he started for it, just
like a cow catcher, and blatted. Pa
is real fat, but he Knew he had got
hit, andhe grunted, and said, 'Hell's-
fire, what re You boys dom ? and then
the goat gave him another degree,
and pa pulled off the towel and got
up and started for the stairs, and so
did the goat, and ma was at the bot
tom of the stairs listening and when
l looked over the bannisters pa and
ma and the goat were all in heap,
and pa was yelling murder, and ma
was screaming fire, and the goat was
.blatting, and sneezing, and bunting,
and the hired girl came into the hall
and the goat took after her and she
crossed herself just as the goat,
struck her and said, 'IIowly mothert
protect me!' and went down stairs
the way we boys slide down hill,
with her hands ON herself, and the
goat rared up and blatted, and pa
and ma went into their room and
shut the door, and then my chum
and me opened the front door and
drove the goat out. The minister,
who comes to see ma every three
times n week, was just ringing the
bell and the goat thought he wanted
to he Insulated, too, and gave him
one, for luck, and then went down
the sidewalk, batting and sneczing,
and the minister came in the parlOr
and said he was stabbed, and then
pa came out of his room with his
suspenders hanging down, and he
didn't know the minister was there,
and he said cuss words, and ma cried
and told pa he would go to hell sure,
and pa said he didn't care. he would
kill that kussid goat afore he went,
and l told IA the minister was in the
parlor,. and he and ma went down
and said the weather was propitious
for revival, and it seemed as though
an outpouring of the spirit was about
to be vouchsafed to His people, and
none of them sot down but ma, cause
the goat didn't hit her, and while
they was talkin relidgin, with their
mouths, and kussin the goat inwardly,
my chum and me adjourned the
lodge, and l went and stayed with
him all night, and hain't been home
since. But l don't believe pa will lick
me, cause he said he would not hold
us responsible for the consequences.
lie ordered the goat hisself, and we
filled the order, don't you see! Well,
j guess l will 90 and sneak in the
back way and find out from the hired
girl how the land lays. She won't
go back Oh me, cause the goat was
not loaded for hired girls. She just
happened to get in at the wrong
time. Good bye, sir. Remember
and give yonr goat kyan pepper in
your lodge" |
AS the boy went away, and skip |
ped over the back fence, the grocery
man said to his brother old fellow,
" If that boy don't beat the devil
then never saw one that did. The
old man ought to- have him sent to u