River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1882-03-16
Snoring In a Foreign Tongue.
Bill Nye's Boomerang.

| It's luully now CdIGleSS Lu6y Sct
about giant powder after they get used
to it." said Weodtick Williams the other
day to Boomerang man.
.sIt's mighty harmless looking stuff,
and you wouldn't think it if you didn't
know what it was, that it would blow a
man up any quicker than a ball of nom
explosive Nebraska butter.
II know when was sinking on the
Feverish Hornet, and had cabin up in
Slippery Ellum Gulch, at first we was
powerful careful about our giant. pow
der and kept it in hole in the side Of
the hill, but after we got more familiar
with it we got to keeping it in the cabin,
and in about to weeks we used to sit on
the box when we played Black Marian
or Pedro.
'After this we found out that this
kind of groceries worked better if it
was kept kind of warm, and we used
to put the little cakes of joint powder
under the mattress nights SO they'd be
kind OF warm in the morning to blast
with.
ave had Polander on the night
shift of the Feverish Hornet that the
boys called Neuralgia Phlaskowhiski.
He was the worst man to swear nights
and snore days that ever saw. When
he used to 60 down in the shaft and
swear few times in the dialect of his
fatherland, the other men had to come
to the surface for fresh air. He gener
ally swore till he got excited and his
jaw got cramped on an imported COB of
profanity. and then he would quit
while. We called his style to swear
the Anglo Kosciusko swear. 1t gener-
ally Jared the foot wall and shattered
the vein matter so that we had to tim
Der up little after he got through.
ellis snore was about as blood-curdl-
ing as his unique style of swear. He
used to snore in his own native tongue.
Of course, the force of habit is stronger
on man when he is asleep That's
why he never tried to snore in English.
when he seemed to be getting the
most comfort out of his slumbers and
had his mouth open so as you could
throw Magnolia ham against his liver,
and snored so as to get in all the double
f's and q's and rs and Polish dipthopgs
and other funny business, it made the
floor of the cabin creak, and the cook
SbOfO nOulel ldil dOWh dIu bilC ClOCh
used to stop, and stock in the Feverish
Hornet would go down to ten cents a
share.
"Well, Neuralgia Professionalism,
working on the night-shift as he did,
had to do his heavy sleeping during the
day, while the rest of us was to work in
the shaft. The dayshift consists of my
self and a man named Marco Bozzaris
Smith, and the night-shift was compos-
ed of picked crew, consisting of Neu-
ralgia Philaskowski and a man from
Zion that we called Anonymous, be-
cause we never knew what his name
was.
Anonymous slept ill a tent, because
he said he was little nervous and fid-
ge,ty-like and couldn't sleep in boiler
factory. So he pitched his tent about a
mile down the gulch, where the sound
of Neuralgia's snores was partially dead
ened.
"About 2 o'clock p. m. one pleasant
July day there was a loud crash in
Slippery Elm Gulch that agitated the
country for four miles around, and fill
ed the air with fragments of bed-c clothes,
and cooking utensils. We went down
to the cabin, but it wasn't there.
"The conclusion of Neuralgia Phalas-
kowhiski's snore had set off the giant
powder concealed about his bed, and
distributed the whole dog-gone ranch
over the surrounding scene.
ave postponed the funeral for two
weeks, and asked the prospectors of the
State to bring in such fragments of de-
ceased as might be found. At the hour
the mourners gathered
around baking powder can containing
all that was mortal of Neuralgia
"Death had worked a wondrous
change in the expression of the features
of the remains. Very few could recog-
nize the deceased.
Mr.. "Phalaskowhiski had always been
cursed with fear that he would be
buried alive, and Mario Bozzaris Smith |
that the remains should lie |
in state for week or two, but the rest |
felt so positive about his death that the |
were allowed to go on.
"This little episode seemed to us like
solemn warning, AMI after that we kept |
our giant powder under the mattress of
4 man who didn't snore in foreign |
language.
"The good old Anglo-Saxon snore is
good enough for the everyday hum
drum of life. When the language of |
this country isn't good enough to snore |
with in mining camp, it's time to adj
iourn."