The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1882-06-03
WIT AND HUM0R,

n boston paper is III favor OF Wolnen
voting if they want to-" We would like
to see the man that would make them
vote if they didn't want to.
The law permits you to fish for trout
now, but it does not guarantee that You
will catch any. However. it does not
prevent you from lying.
An editor has offered SO for the best
written love letters. There are some
people who would give more than that
to get back some they have written
To be Systematically ard constantly
funny requires high order of genius
Colorado Exchange. And no blue pen.
Gil snde work.
A little boy who had been used to re-
ceiving his older brothers old toys and
clothes recently remarked, "Ma, will
have to marryhis widow when he dies"
What inquiries the editor of the
Philadelphia Times, shall we do with
our girls?" He can do what he likes
with his, but we warn him to let ours
alone -Eimira Free Press.
An exchange says: "A dozen women
ride now Where one woman rode few
years ago" 1t will he seen that this
arrangement must be hard on the old
horse.
Think I'd live in that buidingn' eX-
claimed the lady who ran a boarding.
house. Not a bit Of it! Why, all the
doors fasten with bolts; there isn'ta
key-hole in the building"
A contemporary prints an able article
on "How TO 90 TO Sleep" 1t is the most
convincing article we ever read on the
subject We were sound asleep before
we read it half through,
Lady customer (hesitating over pur-
chase) Dear me, Mr., HiggS, this fowl
looks as if it had died natural deathr'
Poultcrer (readily) I'm warrant yer
it did, ma am, for killed il meselfI'
1t is reported that when Miss Anna
Dickinson heard of DR. Mary Walkers
good fortune in securing Il Washington
clerkship, she sadly sighed, Il wish |
were in Mary's pantaloons."
The students of the university at Tus-
caloosa, Ala, had an eating match, in
which the victor ate thirty-seven biscuits
in sixteen minutes. But biscuits are
probably small down there.
Not quite what he expected Clergy
man (who has caught boy stealing);
"Don't you know that the ID gets
naughty little boys?" Boy: a know
he's got me-"
She confidcd to him that she never
wore anything but silk stockings when
she went to dances He said he had no
doubt the costume was becoming, but
ought not there TO be little more
of it.
A lecturer who had Just one listener
was battered to discover that he came
in 10 get out of the wet Umbrella
would have cost dollar; lecture, TWEEN
ty-iive cents; seventy-iive cents saved --
Detroit Free Press
A small colorcd boy visited the circus
in Baltimore, and during the evening
ate three quarts Of peanuts massisted
Afterward he slept calmly and peaceful
ly, he says, and he is now ready for the
ucNl cntuSs
Gutenberg, the alleged inventor of
printing, lived in a six-story house,
which is still standing There is a ru.
NOR that Johann used to mop each Of
the six floors about once a week with his
proof-rcader - C0uriCr-JOWR0L
A traveller asked New Haven sa.
loon-keeper if they ever had any case,
Of sunstroke in that town. mo, sir. 81
said he; If a man gets drunk here he
says he is drunk, and never calls it by
any other name
Clergyman Jacob, what did Cain
do with his brother Abel?' Jacob. "Hq
betrayed him Clergyman, Wrong
Fritz, can you tell me?n Fritz. "CaIr
slew his brother Abelr CLERGYMAN
swell doneln
The very latest, broad.rimmed hat 60,
young ladies is called Over the Garde,
WALL From the description II Is sun
posed that the name arises from ten
aiency Of unsuspecting citizens To clir,
the nearest wall when they see the ha
coming.