Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1882-03-08
PLEAsANTRIEs.

PAlrMxrs are hard to dbposo Of, bu.
books are bound TO sell. f
WHEx couple make mp thcir minds
to get married Il may be called . tie
vote. --Sonerville Journal
SIR WALTER RALEIoH made his way
to fortune and fame by pohteness He
was not one Of the Elizabethan ruffa.
THE difference between . druggist
and farm laborer is that one is
pharmacist and the other farm A.
sistant.
Irish epitaph: Erected to the I
memory Of John Phillips. accidentally
shot as mark of affection by his
brother"
TEE ice-dealeris little venture You
may talk about fine buildings, but its
the ice-house that takes the cake. -
C0urier-Jo Journal
TmRs is story told OF fne old
Cornish Squire who only drank brandy
on two occasions--when he had goose
for dinner and when he had not.
JuDoiSo from the large number Of
young physicians being ground out by
our medical colleges, We can no longer
sing, "This world is but an M. d.
void"
ssss
PoLIcrMAs, to group Of small boys
"Come, now, move on, there's nothing
the matter here" Sarcastic boy-"Of
course there isn't If there was you
wouldn't be here"
SAID the leader of the train robbers
as he boarded the Pullman car: Don't
disturb the passengers, but seize the
porter. He's got ali the money in the
crowd by this time r.
THE most horrible case OF insanity in
the Massachusetts Asylum is that Of
man who imagines he is Chicagoan.
He gets up in the middle of the night
TO brag. Boston Post.
NEVER despair. Many boy who
goes around with yellow patch on his
blue pantaloons may some day write
volume of poetry in blue and gold or
have silver plate on his door.
Dun ycn eye. notice - tho 10 .sss.55:s-off course
you have--that q tramp who claims he
has good trade, but can get nc work
at it, in the winter is brickmaker and
in the summer lumberman or an lee
sawyer?
MISS HENRIErrA DEwcoME--In an
swer to your question about "unkissed
kisses" we may say that we are prepared
to unkiss any kisses we may have kissed
outside Of the family for the last five
years. Harvard Lampoon.
BRIDoRT Cooking over the mantel-
picce)--"What's thin, marm ?" Mrs.
Dotonart - "Those are cherubs,
Bridget" Bridget" Cheerups. is it
Mary Ann says as how they was bats,
and says twins, barrin' the wings"
HE came home the other night in
drizzling rain. soaked inside as we'll as
out. What excuse have you to offax, =
puiu nIS UctprI ilslI, Io1 cualrang if5kro
in such beery condition 2' "None,
my DEAR" was his answer, a. 'cept 'tras
very muggy day."
A MEMBER OF fashionable congrega-
ton called at music store and in-
quired {" Have you the notes Of piece
called the Song Of Solomon p" adding
"0ur pastor referred to it yesterday as
an exquisite gem, and my wife would
like to learn to play it."
A HOUSE painter who is at work on q
scaffolding three stories from the ground
fails from it upon the sidewalk, where
he lies limp and apparently lifeless. A
crowd Of benevolent folk surround him
and labor with him till his pulse returns
and eyelids begin to flutter. when
Good Samaritan places glass OF water
to his lips. The sufferer (feebly)-
t" How many stories has fellow got TO
fall in this ward before he gets brandy,
durn ye2"-Paris paper.
MANS FooL.
II tis settled as a rule,
Mans fool
Whom its cold he wants 81 hot,
when it's hot he wants 81 cold,
Ever grumbling at HE lot,
Mans fool.
Ne'er content with what he's got,