News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1882-09-14
WIT AND WISDOM.
LITTLE Brown jug is the name Oh
..... L a...O un in fr1lI of snirIt

|
I'll rinse them off for you" And now
she regards him only as brother.-
Puck.
IT may be remarked for the comfort
of honest poverty that avarice relgns
most in those who have but few gooo
qualities to recommend them. This Is
weed that will grow in barren SOIL
Hughes.
SALT mackereI is a new shade for
mems clothing. 1t IS probably intended
for wet weather wear, as salt mackerel
is always ahead of gum overcoat Tor
keeping man dry. .-Nea0 Orleans
Picdyu1ae.
THE point of aim for our vigilance to
hold in view, is to dwell upon the
brightest parts in every prospect, TO
call off the thoughts when running
upon disagreeable objects, and strive
to be pleased with the present clrcum'
stances surrounding us. Tucker.
-ERoM the Rey Mr. Jackson's sermon
Lord was to say, Jackson, go butt Yet
head agin dat tree, I've got faith 10
bleeve dat de tree 'ud be removed afore
1 got dere."
ONE of the regular exercises at Norma
Schools is writing words from dictation
and giving their meaning. One OF the
words given out was hazardous"
which the young lady pupil spelled
hazardess," and defined "a female
hazard" SO the Boston Journal says.
MAKE not bosom friend of melan
choly soul; he'll be sure to aggravate
thy adversity and lessen thy prosperity.
He goes always heavy loaded, and thou
must bear half. He's never in good
humor, and may easily get into bad
one and fall out with thee.
HENRY BEReH asked the Christian
Observer to remind the owner OF dogs
of the importance of giving them plenty
of cold water during dog days. The
editor Indorsed the correspondents
idea, and added: "We always give our
dog drink when we drink ourselves,
and consequently he is never thirsty
The name of Maria is so popular In
J Oltumwa, Iowa, that when cat climbs
( back fence in q well-populated neigh
J borhood and plaintively vocalIzes
, I" Marian |" twenty windows are hastily
l thrown up and twenty heads are thrust
l out, wildly answering, :" Is that you,
Charley? ?"
A YOUNG lady, dressed in much false
hair, was warbling at the piano, and
: when her mother summoned her to
} assist in some household duties, her
. rosy lips opened poutingly, and she
3 snapped out, =" Oh, do it yourself r And
4 then she went on singing, "Klnd words
, can never die"
"WHAT is a yacht ?' we inquired OF
: a long, gaunt codder, who was lounging
about the wharf. "What's yot p
9 said the fisherman. "Well, you gets
1t anv sort of craft you please, and fill hel
d mo with liquor and seegyars, and ge
r, YER frens on board and have a high oil
Ae time-and that's a yot. t."-Ti'oD 1f''1e'
!! A CANDIDATE met Uncle Nose on Aus
a tin avenue and said to him " BE sur
- TO come to the ward meeting tonight
- and bring all your neighbors with you.
- b" You kin jess bet dey will come along
n with me, or L stay at home mysen
Oar wouldn't be q chicken leP In my
, coop if I was ter go to dc ward neetin
y and luff dem nabors at home. "-IeTa'
n Sfftin9s.
e SAID a pompous individual to young
h hopeful, whose parents he was visiting
II "Little folks should be seen and no
1t heard" The small boy came to the
% surface Immediately with Yes, anC
N big folks, too, when they don't know
any more than you do. Pa says yor
haven't got sense enough to know wher
to go home" Sensation. Cincinnati
a Saturday Night.
;s A CHICAGO man visiting Cincinnati
m was being shown around by citizen
r who said: Now let's go and see the
a Widows Home" The Chicago man put
IN his finger to the side of his nose and
to winked and said: "Not much l won't
ii I saw a widow home once, and she sued
A me for breach of promise and proved Il
10 on me. No, sir, send the widows home
40 in hack. ."-NeaO HaUen Register.
{. Ir WAS awarm Sunday night and som'
h. of the congregation in the little churcl
:" were slumbering languidly, except on
at man who snored in manner not at al
ne languid. The preacher observing this
le left his notes and said to one of the dea
ut cons in the front row: "Will you pleas
th ask that brother to stop snoring or III
an Will keep the other brethren awake.
le The rest of the sermon was listened to
ID ARAB1 BEY was visiting shis picke
h, lines one evening, when he esple'
as through his field-glass party of High
ri landers deploying in the distance
k g" Allah ma goozle !" he exclaimed
le "What's that ?" A French officer, act
~ ing as his aid, informed him that the.
were detachment of the enemy's troopI
"Thanks to the Prophet we shall suc'
ceed," cried the Egyptian leader, " Eng
ID land is too poor to furnish breeches TO
w her soldiers. ."-Brooklya Eagle.
7y A PHYSICIAN vino had colored boy II
his service noticed that his alcono
u, seemed to be rather weak; and as h
W W had occasion to go to the bottle iron
" W time to time, it seemed to grow weaker
" He was about to cornplaiaAtb his apoth
n ecary for selling him Fueh poor stuff
He when it occurred to him thaA the colore
.. boy might know what the trouble was
iio SO he said, suddenly, "rom, how muc
:" water do you turn into the alcohol whe
TO- you take drink out of the bottle
all "Oh, sab" responded Tom, taken o
me- his guard, "I oalkerlates to leave
S3 about as full as l finds it, sah." N
tel complaint was entered at the apotl
m ecary's.
l'o =, A Chapter for Husbands.