The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1882-12-08
WHY WE LAUGH.

w - w - AS<ASSAAs
Truth 10 stranger than Ash ssoriss.-Fuek.
All clothes como high except ball dresses.
N. O. Picayrse.
The Song ef solomen-So hsllsp Ne grs-
shus, dss coat Ats you like Do bspsr on Do
walls PUCK.
Sincs those whom the gods love die young,
Puck thinks that the gods Do net love spring
chickens.
Once Q candidate, always . candidate.
Thsrs d no such thing - an sx-candidsts.-
N. o. PieaySse.
Social stieustss: Next vs shall have
ceas-tail hirtation code. Having the tails
covered with mud win mean ~ dont like
her athsr."-Boston Pest.
The Prince Of Wales 10 said to Be q, CO.,.
900 In debt. he mnst have been trying -
sun . newspaper In ssns remote corner Of
his Dsnns's snpirs.-Grdphic.
4 correspondent ssks: "Do canary birds
like ashf" We'll, We cant tell whether they
d or NOT; bat they manage TO catch . hssis
perch every dsy.-R. y. Commercial.
william Penn didn't mean 70 chest the
Indisus, but II . chief wanted 45 worth Of
| trinksts worse than hs did seven townships
| Of wilderness William didn's stsad In his
way.
Jump up, JOHNNY, the school house 10 on
Gre ~ said III Austin mother TO her sleeping
son. "Is the school tsscber burned upf"
"I gusss not" "Oh, Pshsw "'--Tezas Sgt.
iags.
A Tennessee v0msn hes trained dog 10
| drink beer and chew tobacco. Nov you
will see that wsman will never marry. She
has no use for . man srsuud tho house.
N. !. Areary' - e.
An Iowa farmer bel . nsw hat that he
could cross the railroad track with his team
before the train came up. He lost By ten
feet. The distance was measured BY his
heirs.-Free Press.
Old-fsshionsd country dances are being
| revived, and It 10 thought that fashionable
balls this season will be aess suggestive oi
sitting up with . corpse than formsriy.-
Philadelphia Ee'rs.
| Il 10 rumored that - sson ~ Mr.. Blaine
moves ipte tkst new house 1r. Conklinl
will send . young man into ths nsighsor'
| hsod to learn 10 play on the csrnet.-Leui"
riile Courier Journal.
Young man: Our answer 10 your question
shall be short aud to the point. Don't ge'
married II you are poor and proud -unles'
she Ii rich and not too proud. IN the lsttel
case-why, collar h.-Lsren Citizsa.
An Indiana state prisen convict says ths
his downward course began BY trying TO bea
2:4O With three minute horse. II looks y
Though some Of our meet prominent citizeni
were headed for the STATE prison.-Bssto'
Post.
"Oh, yes," said the engineer, "i had
chsncs 70 become . hero by sticking 70 N!
po-t when the collision came, but when
| reflected that wy name would be spslle'
I've hundred different ways in the newspaper
/ changed my mind and jumped"
The Texas capitol 10 70 be the laress
building Ia this country isxcsps the Nev
York aud Federal cspitoIs. They want 1t BIZ
enough u allow . leSislsto. pursued b.
some opponent With knife to run away an
hide without having 70 80 cut Of door,
Boston Post.
The Jay Hasbsii game dess sst Away
pan ous we'll. The other day stags-drivs
In the Black Hills undertook 70 horsewhi
the passengers into ketting out OF the stag
and pushihg IL up hill, but the passenger
suptisd their rsv0l, ers into him faw time,
held coronsr's inquest aud found that b
hsd died " fpnsuuonia.-Te1oss sytinss
We have read many Of our exchange "a
q year without knowing definitely whlc
we're Democratic snc which Republican, b.
| fstvly We have sscer4slnsd at . glance
Those with Two pages Of cheerful pouitr
each issue are Dsmocrasic, and those Wit
long editorials hsSded, "Whither are v
Driftings' are Rspublicsu.-Bomerdng.
Hearing ,ha. . Cslfornis girl had q
pesred ss Q masqus ball - q raw oyster,
! young Coms,ock limb Of the law, conceive
, the notion Of attending the coming masqu
\ rsde ball at the Carsoa Qpsya house -
. boiogns sausage. He consulted frien
upon the subject, who said: "Ths notion
. q good one. All ysu will require 10 the stu
. fnS."
= Two bloods, Of Salins, Kansas, were =
4 walls In love, and decided upon duel to q
u tie the question Of possession. They seisc
Cd their seconds, got surgeon, and rstir,
70 seQusstsrsd nook, whore they spread
blanket snd the deadly ws.k began. At u
:, Arst deal one Of the rivals got tvo peii
= lacks aud dsuess, and failed to all. H
= hated rival showed down four kingD q
: took the queen. The surgeon got 80, d
y seconds got dIsgustsd, and the loser 6
o drunk. while the winner, got nsrrisd.-c'
Q ccos Times.
4 Mr.. Isascs aud Mr.. Elemental kept nv
. clothing stores On the Bovery, within Il
= doom 81 each other. kr. Issscs was {
= vsys to bs found with his hssd cut Of .
. dosr soliciting custom from the vsrda
L passsr-by. Nr, Blunepthal objected 70 q
/. shoddy msnnef Of doing business, havi
found that the watchful Issscs b
captured several Of Ais >csstomers, and o'
It day he went up TO Issses sAd said: "Lo
f. here, Mr. Issscs, W don't yeu keep 70
ugly face insidsP You might Psttsr ees
:. jsekass 70 stand py do door. Rs vsuld
|" 8 big improvsnsnt." ,"vy," said Isss
, III did try dot vsncs, und eli do psoI
" q dsy pass py say 10 bin: Good day, y
1, Blumsnthsl; see you've novsd.' VI
1 JV0AS.