Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1882-08-27
LADYEs FAiRE.
Odds and Ends of News for Femin-
4"h inc Readers.
Notes and Comments Concerning the
GentIer Sex--What They are
Doing at Home, in the
Mountains,
AND BY THE SEA AND LAKE.

Lamartine-Therei is q woman at the
of all great things.
4. s. Barret-Woman is last at the
cross and earliest at the grave.
n. P. WILTSHIRE sweetest thing IN
life is the unclouded welcome OF q WIFE,
Beecher-Women are new race;
recreated since the world received
Christianity.
Leopold Schefer-But one thing Oh
earth is better than the wife--that Is the
mother.
Talking about difficult fes.ts, did you
ever attempt to select name lor
babym s.
Woman will persist in looking for
men under the bed, when there's no
riot in progress in town.
People say that blackberries are goou
for the complexion, but who wants
olack berry complexion:
Before marriage she was dear ana ne
was her treasure, but afterward she De-
came dearer and he treasurer.
By a mother-in-law; "You can de.
ceive your gulleless little wife, young
man, but her fathers whichever"
The sultan of Morocco has 1854 wives.
What nice time he must have when
his mother-in-law comes to see him.
The girl who sets her heart on any
thing should De very careful that some
Young fellow doesn't come along anu
steal it.
It is the father of twins VIII knows
what it is to be up all night VIII the
bows, or with the girls, for that matter,
as the case happens to be.
A Milwaukee woman has kept ket-
tie of boiling water on the stove every
night for the past twenty-five years In
order to scald burglars.
Annie Louise Cary's husband, Mr..
Reymond, says that since her marriage
she has entirely recovered her voice.
We thought she would
"How much?" said the English
Judge at the close of the recent trial OF a
breach of.promise case. This is the
shortest charge to jury on record.
A Virginia man and his wife walked
twenty-seven miles carrying their baby,
TO see a circus. They know now now
sublime it is to suffer for great pur-
pose.
"Does your mother play cards. in
Uuired Billy of his chum. II dont
know" responded Jimmy; but she Of
ten plays a lone hand on me-"
Anna Cora Mowatt-Misf rune
sprinkles ashes on the head of 4 man,
but falls like dew on the head OF" Wo-
man, and brings forth germs OF St tngth
of which the herself had no CONSCIOUS
possession.
a Delaware woman, i'll scratc ling a
match on her clothing set ii on fire ana
was fatally burned. This is strong argu-
ment why women should wear pants.
Until they can scratch matches onthe
hip they'll never be safe
One of the regular exercises at normal
schools is writing words from dictation
and giving their meaning. One of the
words given out was Hazardous"
which the young lady pupil spelled
"hazardcss," and defined "a female
hazard"
For little lady of q years this will
do: She had picked up cane in the
corner of the room and was playing
with it-a plain stick bent at the end 10;
sit isn't cane" w haI Is IL, 'ien
"Its an umbrella without any clothes
on it,"
edward, what do hear-that you
have disobeyed your grandmother,
who told you just now now not to Jump
down those steps," "Grandma didn't
tell us not to, papa: she only came TO
the door and said: Il wouldn't jump
down these steps, boys and l shouldn,t
think she would-an old lady like her."
'sBut why did you leave her so hasti-
ly?n asked a sympathzing friend VINO
was irving to console lover for his
separation from the object of his idola-
trY. "Oh, it was sudden impulse
"What sort of an impulse?" 81 don't
know exactly,n returned the sufferer,
thoughtfully, "but 1t must nave peen III
least No. r."
John Van Buren, was one day riding
in the cars with lady friend, who,
happening to see some boys IN 6athlng
closed to the track, said: "Isn't 1t a
shame that boys are allowed to battle
in such places?" Van Buren, slapped
on his eyeglasses, looked sharply at
the bows. and then remarked; "They
are boys, amt they?"
"That,n said Bigglin to his wife,
when they told him that new silk
dress was necessary for her health and
happiness, "is too diaphanous." Nov,
Bigglin, y she answered, tartly, 81 want
YOU to understand that am not to be
put down by musical terms. You may
call it fortissimo or trOmbolo, but
Pm going to have that dress"
In Philadelphia hotel dining-room
the other day a lady cut the corn from
the cob before eating it, and we'll
dressed but bull-necked fellow whose
face was greatly disfigured he had been
i'm the row the night before) was motto
ed doing the same thing. Suddenly
observing the lady he asked in tones OF
genuine sympathy and surprise: "Why,
have you had your front teeth knocked
out, too?
"Stuck-up things" is what the New
York girls at Spring Lake Beach call
their Philadelphia sisters. And the
Quaker city maidens, ever kind and
generous, recipaOcate cordially when
they inquire: 'Have any of those New
York creatures father who has not
been accused of financial irrcgularities"'
AS rule. the Philadelphia girl never
gets left.
Once upon time at a joyous little
supper an actress who had gathered a
good many successive crops of laurels
remarked pleasantly to Gestor Rogue
plan. Is it true that you are past 7o"'
tho, my dear; it is my father you are
thinking of. He knew your mother
well; for it must have been your moth
er who was playing at the Renaissance
in 1910, wasn't it?' ihe lady changed
the conversation.
Seven-five thousand men In New
South Wales are said to be in sorrow
because they cannot find wives, the
supply of manageable women being
limited. If they will send an agent
over here to visit fashionable watering
places and church picnics, their sorrow
may soon be turned TO jOy.-New York
Hour.
A daughter OF Brigham Young,
bride of four months, when asked by
visitor, "How will you regard the tax
ing of another wife by your husband,
which according tn VOllr code, Is not