National Republican., 1882-12-23


For every time he tried he'd slip.
The water no resistance gave.
And so beneath the murky wave,
He found wet, uutmely grave.
With thrilling laundering, humping thud
He struck the misty, mosty mud
And turkles iattened on his blood.
We dedicate this little hymn
10 little boys of supple limb
Who soap themselves before they swim
-Denver Tribune.
Hope it won't be green Christmas. Boston
Post.
Who knows the origin of "The Mistletoe
Bough?"
The handwriting of Gov.-elect Cleveland
compees for illegbity with that of the late Hor-
ace Greeley.
4 IA reporter Of one of the daily papers of st.
Louis wrote about whisky with fragrance like
flowers and taste like the dreamy melody of
Mendelssohns music"
The New York Evening Post thinks that the
best way TO avoid the unpleasant effects and fea-
ture OF new years calls will be TO abolish the Gus
tom of new years calling
Chicago people affirm that if the Rev. Min
had worked as hard to become good preacher o
he has to become poor actor he would have been
worth salary of $4,000 per year.
The Cincinnati Gazette inquiries: "who Is
Gen. FitzJohn Porter ?" to which the Inter. Ocean
pointedly answers: He is gentleman who did
not like TO travel at night" Who's next?
Brigands have carried Off the mayor and al
dermen of a Mexican city. In some American
cities the people would feel like pensiouing the
bandits who would accomplish such feat.
France produces an immense quantity Of
milk. All collected, it would make stream three
feet four inches wide, and one foot one inch
thick, flowing night and day, all the year,
Thurlow Weed always advised every mar.
ried man to tell his wife all his actions 1t is n
great comfort TO n woman to know all her hus,
bands actions. Such knowledge is very useful in
debate.
A Nebraska Norwegian who had got all
ready TO hang himself discovered that his pipe
was out and he threw or the moose and walked
| TWO miles'to obtain u light. By that time he had
| concluded TO live.
NennOr says Wiggins's predictions of great
and disastrous storm next March is ridiculous.
Unfortunately this will have tendency to inspire
| confidence in Wigginss prophesy. Between Ven
nor and Virgins pin your faith to Virgins.
The man who has been a postmaster longer
than any other man in the United States is James
Gordon, of PEORIA Wyoming county, Ohio. who ia
known as "Uncle Jimmy" lie has been post.
master at Peoria for itytwo consecutive years.
"Ju," who figures in the New Mexican dis
patches as the latest terror that section is Juan
| Mata Ortiz He is about 80 years old and until
| recently was man of wealth and political in1u-
ence having been chief official of the Mexican
| town of Galiano.
A society" item says it is no longer en-
rege to make gentlemen holiday presents of slip
| pers. But all the same, if the 25th should be
drizzly and the sidewalks sleety, we may reason.
ably look for the usual number of Christmas slip.
| .pers.-NOirtstoWn Herald.
lady recently remarked the singular dif.
ference between the genuine and imitation fur
lined cloaks, follows: "Plain circulars alwa va
stay closed SO nicely, clear down to the feet; but
fur-lined ones will blow open In spite of all their
wearers can do" Singular, isn't it,
A Taglioni costume party was given the
| other evening in a suburb of Troy. We are in
debted to the Chicago Times for an explanation of
the title: "Taglioni was one of those ladies whose
costumes were mainly notable because of their
brevity of skirt and lowness of neck"
A fashion writer says: Queen Victoria
still wears the same fashion of hoop skirt that was
| in vogue twenty years ago" 1t suits her. and she
| has right TO wear it. She is queen and rich,
| and can afford to wear any old thing that peases
her. Only the poor ana weak minded are slaves
A Connecticut man has invented machine
for counting money. Editors have long felt the
want of some such labor saving machinery; and
now ii the Connecticut man will put attach
ment on his machine to enable man to get
money as fast it will count it, he can sell the
contrivance for seven dollars and half.-Norrts-
toiUn Herald.
DR.. Porter, of Yale college, says that Prof
! Tynlo oil q, 4. r,.n1
revolutionist, with dash of imaginative optim-
ism, and that as theoogian he lis "a sentimental
atheist or an imaginative agnostc." Any one who
has looked at Tyndalls portrait in the newspapers
must have at once concluded that he is one Of
those things The way he wears his necktie tells
that plainly enough.-Norristown Herald.
The story of the Rev. George A. Gordon, of
Greenwich, Conn, who has Just been called to tho
pasorate of the old South church, Boston, at
salary Of $500 with parsonage, exceeds in in.
terest many of the Screations of romance. He is
not quite 80 years of age, and ten years ago he
went TO Boston to learn the trade of a mechanic.
While there he was induced to turn his attention
TO the ministry, and was assisted in the prepara-
tory studies. While pursuing the usual course of
studies he supported himself by preaching, and
after his graduation in 1875 he preached for year
in Maine, and then went to Greenwich at salary
of g.. 800 per year. He is probably the best paid
minister of his age in the world
At Saturdays concert (November 25) Miss
Arma Harkness young volinist of considerable
promise, made her first appearance at the Crystal
palace. The lady, although an American by
BIRTH owes her musical education 10 the Con =.
servatoire of Paris where she gained the first
prize for violin playing in 1881. Her style dis
tinctly shows French training, as, indeed, did the
choice of her chief piece-the concerto in D. by
Vieuxtemps-which she played in admirable
style, emitting the scherzo. Her tone, although
not very powerful, is pure and sympathetic, and
her command of the technical resources of her
instrument leaves nothing to be desired. Miss
Harkness was very iavorably receiyed.-London
Times
"If l was an actress instead of an actor"
said well known professional, al would not play
the part Of Eleanor Vaughn, in Davy Crockett ;
for $1,000 week. Venie Clancy travelled with
Frank Mayo several years ago In that role and
, she died Of consumption. Then Laura Clancy,
her sister, was engaged, and now she is dying OF
the same disease in southern California. third
, Eleanor was Laura Don, and a few days ago she
sailed for southern France, and her last remark
to me as bade her good-by that she would
not live to come back to America. Her physician
had pronounced her disease consumption. Peo-
, Pile say that we of the dramatic profession are
, superstitious, but these facts that ought to
, make everybody afraid of acting Eleanor Vaughn.
Hem-Hallo, Mary Anderson!
| Ueu1