Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1882-12-01
GLOBELETS.


monopolize the fish trade has proved
scaly venture.
The Chicago Tribute says that the spot
on the face of the sun looks as though tie
sun had met Sullivan.
The Pittsburgh Dispatch Rep.) says:
"Lst the government rid itself OF Frank
Hatton. or shut its N outh about Helm and
such small fry
To some men popularity is always sus-
picious. Enjoying none themselves, they
are prone to suspect the validity OF those
attain,nents which command it.
Our very best friends have a tincture OF
jealousy even il their friendship, and when
they hear Us praised by others, will ascrlbe
II to sinister and interested motives if they
can.
tt is suggested that Lincoln and Swain
should apply Jumps of exceedingly cold
ice to their heads. That might keep them
sane but would ii be cure for semi
idiocy.
Congressman Updegraff, who for months
past has been seriously sick at his home in
Mt. Pleasant, Ohio, is now comfortable
and cheerful, and it is confidently expected
he will recover.
The telephone has been tried in lunatic
asylum with the greatest success. 1t Gains
'em right down, or, if not exactly that, they
don't act any crazier than the average sane
man while using it.
Arthur swings his axe SO recklessly and
unreasonably when he does swing it that
none of the boys at Washington feel per-
fectly sure of their heads, except the
favored few who call the president ''Chet."
A Newport snob recently went rowing
with small poodle. The boat capsized,
the snob was drowned ard the poodle
swan ashore, and an inquirer wants to
know if this is case of the survival of the
fttest.
Speaker Keifer wants his brother-in-law
to get jud geship in Ohio. If he would
but resign the speakership and let his
mother-in-law take his place the whole
country would rejoice, quietly remarks an
exchange.
A London paper has an article on 1.-THE
Emotional Language of Bees" This would
naturally be followed by dissertation on
the emotional language of man stuug
publication.
A man should be careful never to tell
tales of himself to his own disadvantage.
People may be amused, and laugh at the
time; but they will be remembered and
brought out against him on some subse-
qQent occasion.
Ritualism does not always fare we'll in
England. At recent service in st. Jude's
church, Liverpool, all went well until after
the service, when the rector and his sur
pliced choir were attacked so fercely by
mob of dissenters that the police had to
be called in.
New York legislators have great fear of
the vaulted inner roof of the assembly
chamber in the new capitol building at
Albany, and dread lest it may some day
fall ubon them. The average legislature in
that or in any other state might with good
reason anticipate such an event of retrib-
utive justice.
A story is told of cool Bostonian when
undergoing a savage cross-examination.
Gen. Butler had badgered him unmerciful-
ly, and finally said, with mixture of
solemnity and ferceness: ''Can you look
me in the eye and repeat that?" The wit
ness looked at him moment and asked
quietly: (which eyer"
'Yes'' said fresh girl at show, 81
know my beau goes out between the acts,
but he's nice and never drinks anything
but cup of coffee, because I can always
smell it as plain as day, and know the
smell of coffee from beer or whisky, if
am little bit green" It is very happy
thing for young man to gain a girls
confidence
A catalogue of the articles accumulated
in the dead-letter Office during the past
year. has just been issued, announcing a
sale thereof at public auction at Washing
ton, December 4. The articles co insist of
jewelry, toilet goods, and every conceiv-
able thing which could be sent through the
mails. The list CO mprlses more than
5000 packages.
Speaking of the urbane and upright
Judge Folger, who did not hesitate to &C
cept the nomination for governor gained
for him by fraud and forgery, the New
York Tribune says that 1.-THE angel Gabriel
wouldn't have been defeated for he would
have declined the nomination with celer-
ity that woald have made creased light
ming seem Slow
''Good by, sweetheart" were his last
words to the beautiful girl who hung over
the front gate and pouted her red lips to
be kissed: and then, as he walked down
the street he, soliloquized: ''If had all
the money 1 have squandered on oysters
and ice cream and buggy rides for that
girl could buy myself an overcoat now,'
'whew"' he said, as the wind whistled
around the corner, 'Fm a-going to need it
pretty soon, too.''
An observing feminine, who has devoted
much attention to such matters, says that
when girl goes to bed she looks in the
closet, lifts up every shoe to peep beneath
it. feels under the bed, puts out the gas,
makes flying leap for the middle of the
bed, pops her head under the bed clothes.
listens to her heart beats from fright for
hoyf r. ;,,{o IL