Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1882-07-25
ARTEMAS WARDS FUN.
Baltimore Day }


Browne knew what he was about when
he courted the company OF actors and
journalists so assiduously. He took from
them more than he gave, good comPan-
ion as he was, and it was the actors who
taught him to give expression to his lr.
rcsis,ible flow of spirits in succession
oe practical jokes Of harmless sort, yet
comical beyond measure by their very
oddity and unexpectedness. Come in
here come in here said he one day in
Boston to the companion walking with
him. Come in here we will have
some fun 1t was Boston pie-bakery
which they cntered-a place where pies
were a specialty-where pies and moth
ing but pies were sold, wholesale and
retail, all the live.long day. Browne
approached the counter, behind which
the proprietor of the establishment was
standing, and asked, in his bland insin-
ua,ing voice, "Haye You any pies :
pies y replied the astonished proprie-
tor. "Yes, pies" pies y repeated
the man, still more dumfounded "Of
eourse-pies Have you any-pies :
"Pies y" gasped the shopman once more
gazing at Browne as il he thought him
an escaped lunatic. "Oh, well, if you
haven't got any pies, III inquire some
where else come, Jack - and marched
his friend out of the shop again before
the salesman could recover his wits.
ARENAS delighted to FLIP the Sc
date respectability of Boston, while low
ing the place sincerely. One day, in
early afternoon, having a lecture to de-
liver that evening, some of his friends
concluded that he would not be able to
talk so well at night if he kept on talk
ing in front of the bar at the Parker
House. They accordingly insisted on
an immediate adjournment, and Arte-
mus, suspecting the game, determined
to revenge himself. He locked arm
with two gentlemen very we'll known,
indeed in the city-one manager of the
leading theatre, the other public Off
Ger, high in confidence and books OF the
commonwealth, and walked off with
them along the city's most crowded and
fashionable thoroughfare. Acting as II
he was in custody and needed the care
of his companions, and making his voice
conspicuously loud, Artemas began
'.Gentlemen, you are probably aware
that the noble red man, the incompara.
BILE savage of our plains forest and noun
tain Businesses, whom | have studied
closely in lis native wilds, has various
modes of expressing the emotions whici
swell his generous bosom, and of giving
voice to the ceremonial traditions inherl
ted from immemorial ancestry. lii
cries and his dances are equally peculiar
and he has particular sort of whooI
for each particular occasion. The scalE
dance, the war dance, the beer dance
the dance of skulls, each has its appro
priate halloo, and so has the feast Of tht
moon, the harvest feast, and so forth
But no verbal description, gentlemen
can give you an idea of these vigorous
cries. They must be heard to be appre
ciated and to him who has never heart
them they are startling as the revelation
of a lifetime. In illustration of what
have said, gentlemen, will now procee'
to give you an intimation of the yell Q
the noble savage as, tomahawk in ham
he springs exultant from his ambush up
on the astounded foe"
Thereupon Browne executed start
ling and tremendous war whoop, whic
aade people turn for blocks around an
,'rew upon him the attention of thous
apds. .. ..s asq. slg.! ssg
81 will now give you" said ARENAS
aft .r regaining his breath, "a faint 'm'
t,.;o /, Of the warriors cry as he return
to his wigwam, the scalp of the slai
enemy d angling in CORY ghastliness
his belt" q oalaas :,
Another war whOOp; and thus I'll
scamp kept up his game for a mile or ,'
until his friends got him at last TO HI
bo.N fi giaao5 .1o,zo .2a
"A burning qucstion-the questio
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