The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1882-02-09
WOMAN.
An Essay on Woman by our Re-
ligious Editor.

| 4A9AUGS 4u4AO4'
Alter man came weman.
And she has been after him ever since.
She is psrsen of free extraetions being
made Of mans RIB.
don't know why Adam wanted to fool
away his rids in that way, but suppose he
was not accountable for all he did.
1t costs more to keep woman than three
! dogs and a shotgun.
Bat she pays you back With interest-by
giving you house full of children to keep
! you awake at night and smear moIasses
candy over your Sunday coat.
| Besides, wife is a very convenient article
have areund the house
! She is handy to swear at whenever you cut
/ yourself with a razor, and don't feel like
blaming yourself.
Woman is the superior being in Massachu-
sits
There are about si1ly thousand more ot
her sex than males in that State
This account for ths terrified hunted down
expression of the single men who emigrant
from the east.
Woman was not created perfect
She had her faults-such as false hair. false
complexion, and so en-.
But sho is great deal better than her
neighbor, and she knows it.
Eve was a woman.
She must have been model wife too, tor
it cest Adam nothing te keep her i'll clothes.
Still don't think she was happy.
She couldn't go to sewing circles and air
her information about everybody she knew
nor excite the envy of other ladies by wear
ing her new winter bonnet to church.
Neither could she hang over the back
fence and gossip with her near neighbor.
All these blessed privileges were denied
her.
Poor Eve! she's dead now.
And the fashion she naugurated is dead
now.
If it hadu't been for the confoundcd
"snaik" prehaps the ladies of th e present day
would dress az economically as Eve.
But the only place were her primitive
style emulated is certain portions of Africa,
where the wsmen consider them selves in
ull dress when they have on but a postage
stamp stuck in the centre of their fore
heads.
What beautiful example in simplicity
of dress is shown some of t he followers Of
fashion by that domestic animal, the cat,
which rises in the morning washes its face
with iAs right hand. gives its tail three
tremendous jerks, and is already dressed fer
the day.
Woman is endowed with a tremendous
fund Of knowledge, and tongue to suit.
She has the capacity for learning every
thing shew divinely intended to know, and I
a few entra items besides
Young ladies take good deal Of stock in
classes and learn fast.
When you see young lady student from
Yassar, with an absorbed look in her eyes,
and lips AIoving, you understand at once she /
is memorizing passage from Virgil.
But prehaps closer inspection will reveal /
the fact thatshe is only chewing gum.
a woman may net be able to sharpen
lead pencil, or hold an umbrella, but she can
pack more articles into trunk than man
can into IL One-horse wagon.
The hnppest period of womrn's life is
when she is making her wedding garments
The saddest is when her husband comes
home late at night and yells to her from the
front dNor steps to throw out handful of
key hole, of different sizes.
There is some curiousity in feminine ma
turc.
For instance, | once knew a young lady
who could easily pass another one on the
street without looking aronnd to what shs
had on.
Poor thing, she WIS blind.
One of the worst habits a woman can get
into is u riding habit.
But it is not much worse than the modern
walking dress, which ladies persist in we ar
ing on the streets.
When a woman approaches the crossing
she pauses for one aeeting instant gives a
sudden kick that would Gre the envy of q
Mexican mustang, and catches her train on
the fly.
The average age of woman is about 22.
She never lives to be very old.
Some OF them look to be well advanced in
years, but you should not judge by appear
ance.
If you will take the trouble to ask wo-
man how Old she is, YOU will get at the real
facas of the matter.
And discover that she is quite young.
She seldom passes her thirtieth biI tn |
day.
About that time she begins to tear out
cert an leaves in the family bible.
Scientific men are trying TO explain why |
women can't throw stones with the force and
precision of the sterner sex,
This is glaring nonsense.
Women may not be able to throw stones
with force and precision, but they can hit
the mark every time with a gridiron or
stick of stove wood.
Experience has taught me that.
Nomen as a general thing are hard to
manage. know but one way to keep
woman in cheek.
| And that is for her to dress is gingham.
The editor of the Roanoke (Ala.) New
| 4 esires TO accommodate his subscribers if