The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1882-09-19
REISSUES.
Fun and fact. with scissors caught,
Have many pleasant moral taught.

Fun and fact with scissors caught
Have many pleasant moral taught.
Sleep knits up the raveled sleeve of care,
| but she lets the wern-eat seat of poverty Is
pants take care of itself.
The average man will never hesitate to
| take ten cents worth of time to look for
| five cents worth of money.
The devil is said to be lying in wait for
grocers who are continually lying in weight
for their customers.
Estheticism is the perception of the be-
tweenness between things which have little
or no betweenness between them.
Many self made man would have done
better by himself had he let the contract
cut to somebody eise..Boston transcript.
All good people wish for peace and
plenty, but if small boy is to have
plenty of pie he will require more than one
piece.
The castor oil plant is said to be pecuii
arly obnoxious to flies; but one can't have
castor oil plant growing on top of his
bald head
A Michigan man told his daughter that
if she would learn to do Homework he
would surprise her She learned the art
and he fulfilled his promise by discharging
his hired girl.
When a young lady asked to look at
parasol, the clerk said: .'Will you please
give me the shade you want?" II expect
the parasol to give the shade | want, said
the young lady.
A Hamilton youth who is learning to
play the cor onet cannot understand why
people who shoot at cats will be so care
less. Half dozen stray bullets have al
ready come through his window.
Mary Clemmer says only one girl in 500
can be happy as clergyman's wife; but
as only about one man in 500 stands in
need of a clergyman's wife, we don't see
what Mary is growing about.
A medical journal devotes a whole col
sumn, to explaining what causes cold per
SEPARATION. Anyone who has gone up
dark aney and stepped on dog would be
wasting valuable time in reading it,
He had lost his knife, and they asked
him the usual question, "Do you know
where you lost it2" Yes, yes" he re-
piled, .sef course do. Tn merely hunt
ing in these other places to kill time.
Speaking of umbrellas, scholar says
1.-THE English name is borrowed from the
Italian umbrella" This is proof positive
that there has been from the start some
thing borrowed about an umbrella.
A celebrated lawyer said that the three |
most troublesome clients he ever had were |
a young lady who wanted to be married, |
a married woman who wanted divorce, |
and an old maid who didn't know what |
she wanted
Yes, Judge" said the prisoner, 81 adj |
NIT that the back of my trousers was |
tangled In the dogs teeth, and that | |
dragged the animal away, but if you call |
that stealing "A dog no man on earth is /
safe from committing crime. Boston
Post
How things do grow this weather,
said the deacon to brother Amos. Eyes. |
they do, replied the brother. Last night |
l heard you say you caught forty fish, and
this morning l heard you tell Mr.. Smith it
was one hundred and fifty"
Il wish, said farmers wife to her
husband and six boys that some of you
would shoot the yellers cat So they all,
when they happened to think of it, went
and loaded the gun. Luckily, it was the
youngest boy that fred it, for he was very
healthy and could. stand being kicked
through fence.
A ruralist seated himself in restaurant
the other day and began on the bill of
fare. After employing three walters nearly
half an hour in bringing dishes to him, he
heayed sigh and whispered, as he put
his finger on the bill of fare, Mister, I've
IT to tina, and, moving his finger to the
bottom of the bill, elf it isn't again the
rule, I'd like TO skip from thar TO thar"